Read about this hard as nails BMW R90/6 and my visit to Icon 1000's HQ in Sideburn 22.

Icon 1000 are making great looking kit that Ben and I have used on trips all over the world. The geezer in this video wears the new Forestall jacket, Elsinore HP boots (now available in black) and the well-loved Variant helmet. I've spoken to a few people with those Elsinore boots, including Ben, and they all rave about them.
I wonder if my own trip to the Isle of Man in 2007, with Captain Simon and two European 125s, was any inspiration for this shoot? It's fair to say the Captain and I don't look as luscious as the lady captain of Icon's RIB, but we were in the middle of the Irish Sea and not taking any risks, opting for hi-viz buoyancy suits. G
Photo: Fly Tipping/ Fly Photos

I know what you're thinking, 'Race politics, race schmolitics! I can't wait to see what those freaks serve up for off-topic Sunday.'

Well, faithful reader, we have a beauty. God only knows what our friend Captain Simon was looking for when he found this video, but we're glad he did and shared this nugget of fool's gold with us.

This is from a 1940s film called Broadway Rhythm, I think. It starts off so mundanely that you'll be thinking we've lost the plot, until exactly 2:30 into the clip. Then it seems like you've gobbled a handful of Mick's Magic Mushrooms and washed it down with a mug of Absinthe. People start melting. It is truly unfathomable. A few things went through my mind while watching it, but one was 'And they thought Elvis Presley's wiggling hips were too much for TV audiences?'

Watch and be left agog.

And, I say this every time I go wandering off-piste, but if you're new to the blog and came expecting motorcycles not three sisters with spaghetti skeletons, there are over 5200 posts on this blog, so go digging or come back tomorrow. Because we post:
EVERY
DAMN
DAY. G

Whilst building my BMW R100R I wondered why nuts kept appearing on shed floor, I also found starting difficult and when eventually running it was very choked, on removing airbox cover I realised the nutty problem of a squirrel having stashed his stolen bird food from a shed in Capel Curig. Talk about alternative fuels, eat your heart out Ethanol additives etc....
I bet the squirrel was really pissed off and is still hunting me down on a mission scouring Welsh mountain tops and forests like a Squirrel Rambo.
Capt Simon

Our friend, Captain Simon, is selling this BMW for a friend and asked if we'd put it on the blog. Simon says...

It is truly great to ride and is low miles with a really solid usable and modern feel to it with a sort of functional style, it is sad Nick needs to sell it as I built it for a mate as his sort of dream bike, he has had quite bad Labrynthitis [inner ear problems affecting balance] and trouble standing or walking etc so motorbikes are pretty low on priorities. 
£5999
Located in North Wales
07798 914272

Propping up my shed under a sheet of corrugated plastic with a flower pot capping the end of the silencer was just a quick storage solution for my CCM after last years Dirt Quake. I had hosed off most of the quagmire mud, but I certainly didn't plan to abandon it it for over a year, otherwise I would have at least taken the battery off and drained the fuel - and cocooned it a little better.
Over the weekend I dragged it out of its dank nest in preparation for riding in the last DTRA race of the season, at Rye House this Sunday. It was a sorry cobwebby state. I put the battery on charge but wasn't it expecting it to start. It didn't. It pissed out rain water from the headers. Never a good sign. Taking the plug out and kicking it over produced a proper spurt of water. An even worse sign. With some transparent rubber hose gaffer tapped to the household Henry hoover, I sucked out a cup-full of water. At least it wasn't rusty water and the engine didn't have any problem turning over with the kicker. But then I heard the echo of waves. Never a good sign. There was even more water in the exhaust. Murky. It's not true that stainless steel doesn't rust. I'm using a car-type BOSCH starter solenoid instead of the original Denso one, and with a brand new battery the starter was spinning up fine and the engine would fire-up for a second on full choke, no throttle, but then die, as if the main jet was blocked - but normally it runs happily from cold just on the choke, so that doesn't tally. So I cheated and bought some highly flammable Easy Start from Millards the local automotive shop. Sprayed liberally onto the air filter, it did get the engine running on the throttle, but doesn't really solve the problem.... I had already cleaned the float bowl of green gunk, carb filter mesh of pigeon's bogies, and washed the foam air filter of brown toffee, - oh and there was a Kinder Egg Fantasy ghost (missing his badminton racquet and small section of beach shown here) hiding in the airbox. I suspected problems further afield so sought higher intelligence... Spent an hour on the phone with Capt Simon. Who updated me on the evils of modern fuel, whose shortcomings include very short shelf life of 6 weeks (i.e. not a year and a half); very aggressively corrosive chemicals; separation of constituent ingredients creating varnish like gummy residues; water absorption - to the point it's no longer combustible. So tomorrow I will chuck the remaining fuel in the tank and properly strip the Dell'Orto. BP

This is our mate Steve's Grand Canyon. It used to be his, then it belonged to our other friend, Captain Simo (who raced it at Dirt Quake 1), now it's back with Steve again (this goes on a lot between Steve and Simo). the Ducati-powered Cagiva had more makeovers than David Bowie. This is the story of its life - in pictures - starting now scrolling back to the dawn of time.

Above: Überutilitarian. The latest incarnation - by Steve. MZ front light, BMW GS1100 tank, GI
One-off tank and seat by Simon, complete with Bates headlight and dazzle camouflage.

Tank in progress, XR750 seat.

Steve and the standard Gran Canyon, complete with German authorities-appeasing rear wheel doofer.

Captain Simon, looking even more like an intrepid explorer, and Captain Haddock, wearing his new El Solitario selvage denim over-alls. Simon not only looks like, but actually is an intrepid explorer. He wrote the brilliant story of riding a Bultaco around a Falklands' warzone for Sideburn 11. BP 

UPDATE: I tried on one of these suits on a recent visit to El Solitario HQ. They're expensive, no doubt, but pretty wonderful.

Captain Simon goes AWOL on a smuggled Bultaco Sherpa in the Falkland Islands. Read about his adventures in SB#11. BP

Captain Simo has cropped up on the Sideburn blog enough to get his own label. He is a self-proclaimed Henry the Eighth lookalike who has built some of the most killer street bikes ever to prowl the NorthWest of England (and beyond). His adventures are Sideburn feature-worthy and some will be in the mag one-day. I've only been on one with him, but it was a beauty (dinghy to the TT). For now, here's a Harris Ducati he built in 1987. G

From our friend Simon, who has lived at least four lives already. He has been/or still is a merchant seaman, ship captain, tour manager for world famous bands, record label owner, Ducati obsessive, father, husband. All that and he still wishes he could be a Wrench Monkee.

The photos of you wearing masks in Milan reminded me of the early-mid 90's when I managed (????) the arts performance group/punk band "F" (while Oasis did their demo downstairs). Ask Ben about John F, they where at liverpool arts college together. John was a holographer, well still is, but did all sorts of design work (anarchy advertising) and used to do the stage design and lights for the Bunnymen...well also any arts type events.
This was the revenge of the CLONES a bunch of them parading around Liverpool dressed as such. The Fred's Pie stall was Jake (ex-Bunnymen), Tim Whittaker, ex-Deaf School and painter) and Damon (ex-Bunnyman drummer now Massive Attack fellow), all living in same flat... Fred's pie stall was a controversial stand as it had no pies or anything at all except a selection of hip flasks and disgruntled customers drawn by the queues of clones awaiting non-existant pies.
We also did the mobile auto mission where we had a limousine with John and Karen in rubber bondage gear and motorcycle outriders and cavalcade parading through Saturday rush-hour liverpool. Kids where running out shouting 'Whose tha? Is it madonna?' Caused chaos, traffic jams eventually the Police pitched up and had a huge showdown while Kev the onboard solicitor negotiated on behalf of Arts Council, I snapped away and eventually we ended up with a real Police Escort with blue lights cars and bikes to fukk us off.......
All in all F was as described by my old mate Dave Balfe (teardrops, blur, Sony etc...) as a Vanity Project...a crap ensemble producing crap which because we were slightly pissed occasionally thought was really cool and avant garde......all in all along with my very own recrod label STIKKI Label a very successsful money pit which produced some of the finest landfill and cases of energy/oxygen wasting. We probably caused global warming due to the amount of hot air produced....I still have some lovely flyers and suspect the stacks of CD's still support the wonky table back in the rat infested warehouse on Dock Road Liverpool 7
ahh the joys of youth
crap photos by simon mills

Thanks to Captain Simon for these snaps from Beezumph 19. BP

Flat Track Fridays starts this er, Friday at King's Lynn. And it's free for spectators.
Unfortunately, I won't be there for the first one, as I'll be in the Isle of Man. Going by ferry this time. I wish I was going by dinghy again.
The first day's TT - the Dainese Superbike TT - was dominated by Honda, Englishmen and UK flat track racers. The top three places, John McGuinness, Steve Plater and Guy Martin (below) have all raced the UK Short Track Christmas Cracker (and Guy has raced elsewhere with us too). Well done fellas.

Dinghy photo: Fly Tipping, Guy Martin photo: Stephen Davison

From Captain Simon

Did you know Isambard Kingdom Brunel was 27 when he built the Great Western Railway, and 31 when he built the Steamship Great Western? If only he had facebook, a skateboard and a fixie then he could have avoided all that grim Victorian Toil and Graft...

From GI
Isambard's a good name for a boy.