Dad Jokes
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Basically teeny, tiny ficlets produced via funny screenshot text prompts. (We also have to thank the sugar high I was on. Wow.) Modern setting text messages between Hobbit characters - hilarity ensues?
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Cronus and his brother, Eridan, have recently moved out of their parents house. When Eridan and Karkat have a history project together, Cronus meets Kankri. The two quickly find themselves becoming closer and, despite their somewhat troubling pasts and all of the hardships that they face along the way, slowly fall in love.
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i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered by mariahlee
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
27 Jul 2014
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Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.
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Some people are born dads, some develop the traits for it, and some have dadhood thrust upon them. And then there's Erwin smith, who, Levi begins to realize, is one of those people who have fatherhood carved into their very souls. And, thinking back on all the instances of proof, Levi decides he's got to do something about it.
Series
- Part 1 of The Dad Chronicles
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Haruki's dad jokes go too far by franko (gaytimetraveller)
Fandoms: 悪魔のリドル | Akuma no Riddle | Riddle Story of Devil
11 Aug 2014
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Isuke breaks her arm, Haruki tells awful dad jokes
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- Part 1 of riddle story of dingbats
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The light of a rainy summer day slowly faded away, dropping below the horizon until the room he was using as a sanctuary was drowned in shadows. He shouldn’t have gone out, he should’ve stayed behind…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 161
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 119
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Our little angels by Babe_Chan for MustProtectTheUnholyTrinity
Fandoms: BioShock, BioShock Infinite
21 Oct 2014
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Domestic AU where everything is cool. Booker's a single parent that's sorta reluctant to go to a play date with his daughter's friend.
Atlas and Jack are your Papa and Daddy, they're not in a relationship but agreed to raise you together since there's always more room for love.Both are straight, think of How I Meet Your Mother, like Barney and Ted. So like they're just two guys, straight, raising a little girl together.
Warning Dad jokes are in this fic also sassy Lutece twins on the loose.MustProtectTheUnholyTrinity helped pitch cute ideas for this fic, she's hella rad!
Series
- Part 3 of Rapture and Columbia drabbles
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Dean and Cas and fatherhood.
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dad jokes return feat. Chitaru by franko (gaytimetraveller)
Fandoms: 悪魔のリドル | Akuma no Riddle | Riddle Story of Devil
22 Oct 2014
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Haruki's started rubbing off on Chitaru, and she's telling dad jokes of her own.
Series
- Part 13 of riddle story of dingbats
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Wicked Game by SpaMightLikeWrestling (SpaMightWrite)
Fandoms: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling
11 Feb 2015
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Dean and Cesaro have a little ongoing competition between them.
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Erik has a really brilliant idea and a proposition for his friend Charles.
"I think we need a third person. A triad. Then we might have time to sleep and eat and--S.E.X..”
“When do we have time to date, Erik?” Magda said.
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Neither of them are the people they used to be, but it works. It has to work, right? Post s2. dom!May, sub!Coulson, AU where Simmons does not get eaten by a space rock
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Autumn changes leaves and several relationships.
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- Part 6 of You're the One
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hashtag i like to brag by notcaycepollard
Fandoms: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
14 Aug 2015
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@irunthejoint: So my #SuperheroGirlfriend really rocks my world.
Series
- Part 2 of hashtag secret agent
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Washington and Pellew get together and tell bad dad jokes over a dinner meeting. Their colleagues (aka honorary sons) Ben and Horatio get embarrassed.
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A drunken night out on Halloween Louis wakes up to find that his mates have signed him up on a dating app on his phone, he was about to delete it when he sees there is massage for someone. Curious he opens it up.
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- Part 1 of Moments
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Tonroq and Hiroshi can't help it if it's in their nature to embarrass their daughters. After all, a dad's gotta do what a dad's gotta do.
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Snippets of the life of the Washington siblings'
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A vicious storm has the Wright Anything Agency confined to the office with no clients and no power. They've resigned themselves to a slow day of card games and ghost stories until a certain rockstar prosecutor drags himself in from the rain.
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national hot dad alliance is now calling... by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
12 Feb 2016
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Sawamura Daichi: What the fuck.
(Or, the captains' squad interactions that definitely happen outside of canon, presented in Skype chat form.)
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On Tumblr, Anon asked: Sterek mpreg please: "The thing is, Derek loves to tell awful dad jokes to me two months after we're dating. Well, joke's on him now cos he's gonna be a dad soon. Not now, Scott! In seven months, maybe?" AU
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So there’s this bad habit Derek has, right? Like, whenever Stiles tries to do something like a regular human being, Derek just— Stiles is ashamed to say this, he just cracks the worst jokes ever. Because it’s dad jokes. Stiles thinks it might be Derek trying to make himself an equal in terms to Stiles’ own humor, but it’s not— it’s not exactly working…
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How Stiles manages to turn the tables on Derek via clever thinking and the printing services offered by his local Staples.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,113
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 47
- Kudos:
- 3,892
- Bookmarks:
- 472
- Hits:
- 41,130
Bookmarked by deedee16
17 Oct 2016
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Derek makes the most embarrassing dad jokes. Stiles discovered that he's pregnant. He decides to tell Derek in a very creative way. Derek faints.
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i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered by mariahlee
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
27 Jul 2014
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Summary
Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.
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When Odin took a half-Jotun baby out of a temple in Jotunheim, he wasn't the only one to claim to be the child's father. As his mother, Laufey King cheerfully refused to settle any dispute and soon there was at least one person in every realm who laid their claim as Loki's father. Except for the mortal creatures of Midgard, that is.
Tony Stark thinks this needs to be rectified. And Loki Tonyson has a nice ring to it.
(Subtitle: In which Loki and Tony troll the entire nine realms without even trying.)
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Belong Among the Wildflowers (Belong Somewhere Close to Me) by sinkingmyships
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
25 Jun 2017
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According to Seokjin, marigolds are the funniest flowers. When he opens the shop in the morning, they greet him with the best jokes while the roses scoff petulantly, as if they’re too good for a pun or two.
Yoongi can’t hear the marigolds. But he watches Seokjin giggle madly to himself while he waters the flowers during his afternoon rounds, so Yoongi believes Seokjin nonetheless.
Or, as the marigolds would say, Yoongi beleafs him.
[Now translated into Vietnamese and Spanish!]
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yoongi works nightshifts at a local convenience store and seokjin is a beautiful customer who visits often but only buys one type of candy.
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This Man Fell In Love With His Coworker And You'll Never Guess What He Did Next by smashthatlikebutton
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
23 Oct 2020
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“What’s the way to a Seokjin’s heart?” Namjoon asks.
“His stomach,” Yoongi answers automatically, without thinking.
“Then feed him.”
🍜🍓🍳
Min Yoongi and Kim Seokjin, along with their cameraman Jeongguk, embark on the ultimate food adventure in BuzzFeed’s hit series, Worth It, trying delicious foods at three price points: affordable, middle tier, and luxury. At the end of the episode, the gang decides which item is the most “worth it” at its given price.
(It may all just be a facade for Yoongi to be able to wine and dine Kim Seokjin, only he didn't anticipate just how oblivious the other man would be to his advances.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,702
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 285
- Kudos:
- 1,589
- Bookmarks:
- 489
- Hits:
- 18,846
Bookmarked by confetticanon
11 May 2020
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I looooove to see a fic get finished right before my eyes I’m so happy I loved this one
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Dis(associate) by BeyondTheClouds777
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
04 Jan 2019
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Izuku has a “dissociation” Quirk that lets his ghost leave his body, and it’s both convenient and inconvenient at the same time. Either way, he's going to do whatever it takes to become a hero.
(Now with a TV Tropes page!)
Series
- Part 1 of Izuku is a Spooky Problem Child
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Sonic recalls a childhood lullaby Longclaw sung him as a baby.
Series
- Part 1 of CobaltBluu's Sonic Movie fics
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“Okay, when I said let’s get you a drink I didn’t mean the entire handle.” Yoongi takes the bottle and shoves it into the hands of a confused looking freshman passing by.
“What are you talking about?” Seokjin says indignantly. “I’m a great drunk!”
“All I’m saying is that you should slow down. We just got here, what’s the hurry?”
“The hurry is that I need to go talk to Namjoon. I need to, I don’t know, make him remember me because I’m gonna try to seduce him.” Seokjin squints in Namjoon and Jackson’s general direction. “Do you think he remembers me?”
“Wait, Namjoon? As in Kim Namjoon? Linguistics major, like 6 feet tall, has these dimples,” Yoongi frowns. “Didn’t you take that philosophy class he was TAing for? The one you complained about daily.”
“Yeah, him. The one with the dimples. I’d never forget those dimples,” Seokjin sighs dreamily. “And I didn’t complain daily. It was at most every other day.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes.
(or: Seokjin tries to seduce Namjoon to get over his ex but falls in love with him instead.)
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Best friends Seokjin and Yoongi take a fishing trip and go skinny-dipping to escape the sweltering weather. The water cools their skin, but does little to extinguish the heat building between them.
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You’re My Echo In The Forest by YoonglesHeart for Jordan_Grey
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
27 Dec 2020
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Jin plans an overnight cabin getaway for his and Yoongi’s anniversary and goes a little overboard.
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“Are you trash, Potter?”
“Oh, ha ha, because ‘Potter Stinks'?”
“No, babe, it’s ’cause I want to take you out.”
~
It’s Fourth Year, and Draco Malfoy has taken on a horrifying new way of pranking Harry—by flirting with him. How will Harry be able to concentrate on his Triwizard tasks with Malfoy calling him “babe” all the time?
Series
- Part 1 of Drarry Fourth Year
Bookmarked by Kiwiw
10 Jun 2022
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I officially declare this one the best drarry fic ever fight me
Definitely the funniest one of all fics I've readI don't need to cast accio to make u come 😭😭😭
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Terrible Story #2 by Emit [archived by dairesfanficrefuge_archivist]
Fandoms: Highlander: The Series
31 Dec 2003
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Bookmarked by truth_is_hard_101
04 Aug 2022
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Terrible Story #2 by Emit | https://archiveofourown.org/works/11869377
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The unabridged pancake experience by Bergen
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
31 Oct 2022
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Pepper is pregnant. This has been widely regarded as a bad move. Many aren’t sure if Tony is ready to be a father – including Tony himself.
Enter one teenage catastrophe magnet in a red-and-blue onesie, who drags Tony’s parental instinct screaming from its bed and waterboards it, simply by existing. -
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Hero wakes up to find his apartment plastered in the corny humor stylings usually enjoyed by fathers. Turns out, Mari has something to tell him.
Series
- Part 5 of Fluffy Heromari Oneshots
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Public Service Announcement by Ella (yo_itsella)
Fandoms: Twosetviolin, TwoSet, twoset violin
14 Jan 2021
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When they come back from hiatus, they're both wearing rings. They don't say anything about it.
It drives the fans crazy.
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Who would fall for dad jokes?
Tobirama. Tobirama did.
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between the click of the light and the start of the dream by thepsychicclam
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
10 Jun 2013
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A twig snaps, and then Stiles hears breathing and the rustle of leaves. He strains to get a better glimpse into the darkness, but it’s pointless. There’s nothing but a black void.
It's Stiles' senior year, and he's trying to concentrate on normal things - like the lacrosse championship, spring break, prom, graduation (and definitely not Derek) - when he starts having nightmares and waking up in the middle of nowhere. Oh yeah, and he's being haunted by a hag. Great.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 105,192
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 491
- Kudos:
- 10,380
- Bookmarks:
- 4,146
- Hits:
- 294,429
Bookmarked by wildblueskies
31 Oct 2023
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Between the Click of the Light and the Start of the Dream by ThePsychicClam
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“You should take your own advice! What was it you said? If you go under without a portal, you really will be dead-looking!”
One good turn deserves another, and if someone can save Luz, why can't someone save the Titan? It just, uh, took a few more years for the Titan to get home...
Papa Titan should get to hold King at least once, okay?
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nacho average dad by iron_spider
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
21 Jun 2020
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“Christ, Tony,” Happy says, as Tony slides in beside Peter. “He’s taking after you. Now I’ve got two of you to worry about.”
Tony shakes his head at Peter, and Peter puts on the biggest smile he can manage, in hopes to get out of any of this finding its way to May. Which it inevitably will, since there were cameras, but he’s an expert in putting off the inevitable.
“Yeah,” Tony says. “Don’t I know it.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,147
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 1,091
- Bookmarks:
- 194
- Hits:
- 6,808
Bookmarked by AkiraChaosSuta
31 Jan 2024
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Tony's descent into 'dadhood' from loud sneezes, do as I say not as I do, standing to watch tv instead of sitting down, knowing when his show is turned off, dad jokes.