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Hero woke up to his alarm, set for nine in the morning as usual. It was Saturday, after all. He could afford to sleep in. He turned over to kiss his wife good morning, only to find himself staring at an empty pillow. No, not empty – there was a folded note in atop it. Still, this was strange. Mari rarely got up before he did. Curious, Hero took the note and unfolded it.
Where did the rose sleep?
A flowerbed.
The pun was accompanied by a little doodle of a rose with Hero’s face and a sleep cap. Hero smiled. The smile faded a bit when he opened the bathroom door and saw another note stuck to the mirror.
Why do monks meditate in front of mirrors?
For optimal self-reflection.
Another note was attached to his toothpaste.
I slipped on a tube of toothpaste yesterday. I was crestfallen.
And on the soap.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
In fact, Hero counted at least half a dozen notes, each containing what his friends often called a ‘dad joke’. Mari was planning something – that woman always kept him on his toes. Hero got himself ready as best as he could and left their bedroom. On his way out, he was greeted by another note.
When is a door not a door. When it’s ajar!
As trite as it was predictable. Hero rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen.
Mari was there, humming as she sliced fruit, the morning sun highlighting the remnants of purple streaks in her raven hair. Even after all their time together – the years of friendship, their dates, their wedding - sometimes Hero still found himself in disbelief at how lucky he was.
“Good morning, beautiful” Hero called.
Mari looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Hey there, handsome!”
Hero embraced his wife “found some weird notes in our room this morning.”
“Ooh, maybe you have a secret admirer” Mari giggled “I hope that doesn’t spell disaster for our relationship.”
“C’mon Mari, you know I only have eyes for you”
“I thought you had eyes to see” Mari shot back smugly. “Well” she laughed “it’s better than eyes to scream with. Mmm… ice cream…”
“Okay, what’s going on? You always said you hated my dad jokes!”
“I did. Still do, actually” Mari smirked.
“Then why did you plaster the apartment with them?!”
“Because, silly, you’re going to need to start practicing them soon!”
“What are you talking abo- wait…”
Hero’s eyes widened. Mari smiled and placed a hand on her stomach.
“H-how did this happen?”
“I think you know damn well how this happened, Henry” Mari laughed “Come on, this is at least fifty percent your fault. And it’s not like we haven’t been trying either.”
“No, I mean, I know, I mean… It’s just still a bit of a surprise, y’know? I… I’m going to be a father!”
Mari sighed “I’m glad you’re taking this so well. I was afraid you’d freak out, go all ‘I’m not ready’ on me.”
“Of course not!” Hero shook his head “I mean, come one, we’ve already basically raised four kids. Four and half if you count Sally.”
“Yeah… I hadn’t thought of it that way” Mari mused.
“Oh god, the kids! We’ve got to tell them!”
“We’ve got to tell everyone” Mari corrected.
Hero switched on the laptop camera. “We should probably start with our parents… Mom wouldn’t take it well if she found out she wasn’t the first to know.”
“Sounds good” Mari nodded, cuddling closer to Hero on the couch. Hero typed in the number and clicked on the video call.
“Hola, mama?”
“Henry! Mari! How have you two been?” Elena Rodriguez’s face filled the screen. “Pedro! Sally!” she called “Henry’s calling!”
“Hero!” Pedro gently moved his wife so that he could be in the screen as well “what’s the occasion?”
“Hi big bro! Hi big sis Mari!” Sally waved from just offscreen. She’d grown so tall as she approached her first double digit year, Hero could hardly believe she’d once been such a tiny child. Then again, he thought the same thing about Kel, and his mother said as much about him.
“Well… we have an announcement for you” Mari smiled. “You’re going to be grandparents!”
“Dios mio! Congratulations!” Elena squealed.
“Looks like you’re finally gonna get that playmate” Pedro put an arm around Sally’s shoulder and dragged her onscreen.
“That was years ago, dad! Are you guys ever going to let that go?”
“Nope” all four adults responded in unison.
“I can’t wait to tell everyone!” Elena said, reaching for her phone.
“Wait!” Hero called out. He’d been afraid of this.
“What is it?” his mother raised an eyebrow.
“We want to be the ones to tell people the news. Please. Give us a few hours, then you can tell the extended family.”
“But-“
“Elena” Pedro said “it is their baby.”
“Fine. Three hours” Elena held up three fingers. “Then I tell everyone.”
The video call to Mari’s mother Hana went much the same way the call to the Rodriguez family went. With the parents taken care of, it was time to call their siblings and friends. Mari suggested that a group call would be the best way to break the news at the same time, a thought Hero agreed with. One by one the black boxes lit up to show Kel, Aubrey and Basil. They all chatted for a while, waiting for Sunny to arrive. Mari’s brother was almost fifteen minutes late, and very clearly still in his pajamas.
“Well, you took your sweet time” Aubrey chastised her friend.
“It’s too early…” Sunny moaned
“It’s almost noon?” Basil said with concern.
“Irrelevant. This had better be worth my time.”
“Well, my little gremlin brother, I think you’ll find it very worth your time. You’re going to be an uncle!”
There was silence as everyone processed the revelation. Then there was screaming.
“OH MY GOD, CONGRATULATIONS!” Aubrey squealed.
“YO, IMMA BE AN UNCLE?!” Kel screamed.
“This is wonderful!” Basil cheered.
“Took you two long enough” Sunny smirked. “So the Suzuki bloodline continues?”
“Yes, Sunny” Mari laughed “the Suzuki bloodline is secure.” Sunny gave his sister a thumbs up.
“When is the baby due?” Aubrey asked.
“Not for a while” Hero replied “Mari isn’t even showing yet.”
“Yeah, enjoy this while you can” Mari gestured to her body “soon enough I’ll be a balloon.”
“No matter what, you’ll always look as beautiful to me as the day we met” Hero soothed his wife.
“Ew. We met when we were eight!”
“Oh, right. Well, you’ll always look as beautiful to me as the day we got married.”
“Nice save” Basil snickered “By the way, I call dibs on taking their first baby photos!”
“I wouldn’t dream of trusting anyone else to do such an important job” Mari nodded.
“Are you going to have a baby shower? I’ll help you plan! Ooh, we should have a little girls’ trip while you’re still mobile!” Aubrey said.
“The answers to that are; probably, thank you, and absolutely!” Mari answered.
“I’ll start getting flowers ready. Blue for a boy, pink for a girl!” Basil said.
“And I’ll start planning all the things I’ll get to do as the cool uncle!” Kel grinned.
“Holy shit, that’s right” Aubrey said “Kel’s going to be an uncle! Jesus, that’s a terrifying thought.”
“You’re just jealous that I’m going to be the kid’s favorite!” Kel stuck his tongue out.
“What are you talking about?” Aubrey responded in kind “They’re not even out of the womb yet. Besides, if anyone is going to be the kid’s favorite relative, it’ll be me!”
Hero and Mari laughed. Aubrey and Basil might not have been blood related to them (though Basil and Sunny tying the knot seemed like a likelier proposition each passing month), but they were certainly family.
“You’re awfully confident for someone who’s wrong!” Kel shot back.
“Oh yeah? Then ask Sally who her favorite is between us!”
“That doesn’t count! You bribed Sally with hair dye, and Sweetheart movies, your rabbit, and that stupid bat of yours!”
“And what do you have to offer?” Aubrey smirked.
“The beauty of basketball, orange joe and Captain Spaceboy!”
“Kel, if you get that sludge within ten yards of my child, I’m disowning you” Hero said. “But I’m sure you’ll both be great with the baby. After all, it’s not a competition!”
“Yes it is!” Kel and Aubrey yelled in unison.
“What will their name be?” Sunny asked.
“Hmm…” Hero scratched his chin. “Any ideas?” he turned to Mari.
“Not yet” Mari shrugged “but we have some time.”
“Name them Kel Jr!” Kel said.
“No” Aubrey responded aghast “that’s a dumb name. You should name them Aubrey Jr!”
“I think Rose would be a pretty name” Basil said “if it’s a girl, that is.”
“Or Tulip” Sunny said. “Plant names are pretty.” Basil blushed.
“Or you could give them a Japanese name” Aubrey suggested “those always sound great!”
“That’s a good idea” Hero looked at Mari “what do you think?”
“I think we raised a bunch of weebs” Mari giggled.
“Well” Hero kissed her forehead “we’ll just have to make sure we don’t mess up on this one. Fifth time’s the charm, and all that.”
The sun was setting as the video call shut down.
“So… how are you feeling?” Hero asked.
“Right now? Stiff from sitting so long. Hungry, too. And a hopeful I won’t be too nauseous in the morning.”
“Alright, noted. I’ll start dinner” Hero said “but that’s not what I meant. How are you feeling about… everything? All of this?”
Mari sighed. “I’m excited, but also… a little scared.”
Hero laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Mari asked.
“Hi, ‘excited but also a little scared’…”
Mari’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare…”
“It’s nice to meet you…”
“I swear to god I will divorce you!”
“I’m dad.”