Work Text:
Dad game too strong:
Erwin didn’t believe in subtle hints. At least, that’s what Levi was beginning to think. It had all started a while ago—long enough that Levi could no longer pin a single incident as the beginning. But now he racked his brain looking for memories as he tried to piece it all together…
--
Eight months previously:
Levi stumbled into the kitchen with a scowl on his face. He hated falling asleep during the day because it always ensured that he felt like anal bacteria for the remainder of the day. He pushed his hair out of his face and shuffled toward the man washing dishes by the sink. His broad back was facing Levi and his hair was more rumpled than he usually allowed it to get, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows exposing powerful forearms. But Levi’s eyes bypassed all these traits and settled on the man’s ass while his lips curved into an appreciative smile. After the five years they’d been together, that particular piece of his anatomy was just as fine as it had been when Levi had first laid eyes on it. But Levi, when he spoke, made sure his words didn’t reveal his mental preoccupation at all.
“Hey, what’s for dinner, I’m starving,” he grumbled, finally reaching Erwin and wrapping an arm around his waist.
Usually Erwin greeted Levi with a kiss. Sometimes he met him with a hair ruffle, but this time when he turned to face Levi, wearing a grin of epic proportions, he greeted him with an outstretched hand. Levi stared at the hand blankly thinking the gesture oddly formal considering the man had been plundering his ass for coming up four years now, but he still extended his hand and gripped the warm and far larger one offered to him. He realized that Erwin was smiling too wide, but he didn’t get a chance to comment on it before Erwin spoke. “Hi starving,” he exclaimed, grasping Levi’s hand tightly in his, “I’m Erwin.”
--
Six months previously:
Levi held the soldering iron in his hand and carefully brought it down to touch the thin pin of gold he was working on. He’d been crafting this pendent for two days now and was finally putting the finishing touches on the piece.
Careful, he urged himself, attaching the tiny sparkling bed, Carefu—
Levi dropped the pendent as a sound, or rather, a roar, burst through the air, shaking the entire house and causing Levi’s whole worktable to shake. Levi leapt to his feet, his heart hammering, and raced through the house, mind on only one person as the end of the world descended upon him.
“Erwin!” he shouted, skidding around the corner of the living room—the place where he’d last seen the man reading the paper. “Where the hell are you? There’s an earthquake or something going—“
Levi froze in the doorway as he came face to face with his partner who had a tissue pressed to his nose. That’s when Levi lost it.
“That fucking loud ass storm was a sneeze?”
He couldn’t believe it. He’d been sure that the sound that had so startled him had to have been something capable of killing him. But no. It was just his gorgeous dorky boyfriend.
Erwin, at least, had the decency to look ashamed as he reached for another tissue. Levi rolled his eyes.
--
Four months previously:
When the fire alarm went off Levi was in middle of doing a set of pull ups on the bar they’d installed in the kitchen doorway.
It’s something stupid, he told himself. There’s no way it’s something he can’t handle. It’s…
He sighed and dropped down from the bar. He could try and convince himself al he wanted, but inwardly he knew that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate until he checked on the giant blonde oaf. He forced himself not to run as he walked down the hallway and through the open back door that was letting thick black tendrils of smoke into the house. He sped down the stairs and stepped into the postage stamp sized space that passed for a backyard in their crappy little house. Levi planted his hands on his hips and glared up at a smiling Erwin who was busy turning over a blackened piece of chicken on the grill he’d set up. He was wearing a god awful stained apron with the words “kiss the cook” emblazoned across his chest. Levi thought he’d gone and trashed the thing earlier in the year, but Erwin must have seen it gazing pitifully up at him from the garbage and rescued it before the sanitation workers could pick it up and bring it to the dump it rightfully belonged in.
“Barbecue again?” Levi managed from between his clenched teeth. He would never manage to get over the unfairness of how often Erwin scared him with his nonsense.
Erwin glanced up, took in his scowling little boyfriend, and broke out in a large grin. “Hey babe, finished with your work out already?
Levi winced at the pet name, but let it go this time. He had more important things to say. “This is the third time this week,” he growled.
Erwin shrugged. “Hey, it’s the season.”
Season or not, Levi doubted that any of the neighbors were barbecuing as obsessively.
“You do realize that cooking something over charcoal doesn’t necessarily make it taste any better,” he said, already knowing it was no use.
Erwin chucked in a way that made it clear he thought Levi was joking. “Nonsense, Levi.”
“Erwin…”
“Look, I’ll prove it to you. Fetch me the salad from the kitchen and I’ll put in on for a couple of minutes and—“
Levi turned around and stalked back into the house with a snort of disgust.. He couldn’t talk to Erwin when he was being this irrational.
--
3 months previously:
Levi threw his keys into the small basket they kept on the table in the front room, and carried the groceries he’d picked up at the corner store into the kitchen. Only when he got there he nearly dropped them.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded, gaping at his partner with equal parts horror and disbelief.
Erwin stopped, the broom still held aloft in his arms. “Cleaning,” he said.
Levi blinked, but the image of Erwin twirling around the kitchen dancing with the broom wouldn’t leave his mind.
“You looked like you were having a seizure,” he grumbled, setting the groceries down on the table.
“You’re just jealous of my sick moves,” Erwin said confidently as he went back to his “Cleaning.”
Levi sighed as Erwin dipped the broom deeply to some song playing in the man’s head that only he could hear, and took out a jar of tomato sauce, choosing not to say anything else.
--
6 weeks previously:
Erwin, will you stop throwing popcorn at the screen? I just vacuumed,” Levi sighed, flipping a page of his magazine.
“Did you see that?” Erwin shouted, incensed, and completely ignoring Levi’s directive as he let loose another handful of the popped snack. “This is such bullshit.”
Levi didn’t look up from his magazine. He would have to take this page down to his workshop. The intricacies of the earrings on the page were something he had to try later.
“I mean, he was clearly safe,” Erwin continued, not needing Levi’s contributions to continue his rant.
Levi began to tear out the page. “He’s paid to be a referee, Erwin. You aren’t. Let him make the calls in peace.”
“Even if he’s blind?” Erwin demanded as he scowled at the screen where the camera was currently panning across the players.
“You’re going to give yourself heart failure,” Levi warned him.
“Yeah, well at least that’ll get me out of watching the rest of the travesty that is this game,” Erwin huffed.
Levi felt his lips quirk up in a smile. “You can always just turn it off,” he reminded the man. Erwin gave him the expected look of disbelief Levi had earned for his blasphemy. “Never!”
Levi shook his head while Erwin went back to shouting at the screen knowing that the man would still be ranting about the foul play days after the game had finished.
--
One week ago:
As Levi rolled over in bed he was met with the smell of fresh tea and scrambled eggs. He blinked his eyes open and was greeted by Erwin who was wearing nothing but a pair of tightie whities and a smile as he sat down on the edge of the bed and presented the breakfast tray to him.
“‘Mornin sweetheart,” the man said, leaning down and planting a kiss on Levi’s forehead.
All of the small man’s alarm bells went off in his brain.
“Erwin…” he began in a warning tone.
“They were all out of the usual brand of your favorite black tea so I had to settle for whatever they had. I hope that’s okay".
Levi picked up the note of nervousness in the man’s voice this time. His eyes narrowed.
“What is it?” he demanded.
Erwin blinked, failing to display a look of innocence. “I don’t know what you’re--”
“Erwin, you’re up early on a Saturday and for once you’ve actually remembered to cut the crusts off my toast. I’m not an idiot, now tell me what it is that you want.”
The smile melted off the blonde’s face, and he bit his lip. Levi felt his heart squeeze at the unconscious gesture so that when his hand came up and touched Erwin’s face it was exceedingly gentle. “Tell me,” he said, voice only a little gruff this time.
Erwin drew in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and said, “I want to get a golden retriever.”
The statement was met with silence for several moments while Levi processed the request before he shattered the air with an indignant, “WHAT?”
Erwin winced. “Look, I know your opinions on pets in general, but just think about it, Levi. It’ll be so wonderful. He’ll be warm and fun--”
“And smelly and hyperactive--”
“And he’ll greet us when we come home--”
“And lick us with his nasty ass saliva.”
“I’ll take him for all his walks and feed him. You’ll hardly even know he’s there!”
“Except when I’m vacuuming his hair off the couch and being kept awake at 2 am because he decided to start up a huge barking fit over something he only might have heard,” Levi growled.
Erwin’s face fell. “But--”
Levi sighed and then pulled Erwin close. He lifted his mouth up to Erwin's and kissed him, keeping his lips closed to prevent transferring his morning breath to the man.
“I’m sorry,” Levi mumbled, looking down at his lap, unable to look at Erwin’s disappointment. “But you know how I’ll be. I’ll have a mental collapse the first time he pees in the house. I’ll be a wreck before the day is out. I can’t, Erwin.”
It was quiet for a moment, but then Erwin wrapped Levi in his huge arms and hugged him close. “Of course. You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking” he said.
Levi clenched his fists together by his sides. “I’m sorry that I’m like this,” Levi said, the words burning his lips as they left his mouth. “I’m always like this.”
“Hush,” Erwin said, brushing his lips across Levi’s eyelids. “Don’t apologize for who you are.”
“But I don’t let you--”
“You’re all I need, Levi. Remember that, okay? As long as I have you I’ll be happy.”
The words were meant to be reassuring, but as Erwin drew away from him, all Levi felt was guilt.
“I’ll greet you when you come home,” Levi mumbled, still staring at his lap. “And I’ll do it better than any dog ever could.”
Levi chanced a glance up at Erwin’s face and was glad he had, because the man was looking down at him with so much love that Levi’s whole body filled up with it. Erwin reached over and touched Levi’s lips, saying so much with his eyes that speaking was unnecessary. Finally he stood up, pausing only to ruffle Levi’s hair before he headed toward the door. “Eat your eggs before they get cold,” Erwin called back in a voice that told Levi he was smiling. “And stop staring at my ass.”
Levi, who had indeed been staring at Erwin’s ass, started guiltily.
“Well then put some damn pants on,” Levi snapped, reaching for his fork and flushing only slightly at the sound of Erwin’s warmth laugh.
--
Levi snapped back to the present, shaking the last of the memories to the back of his mind. Right. It was time to move.
He could hear Erwin humming in the bathroom as he knotted his tie. The sound was a comforting one, and one he’d heard countless times over the last few years. And yet even this wasn’t enough to get Levi moving. He felt anxiety crawl down his back.
Come on. You’ve already made this decision, he reminded himself. You made peace with it, and heck, you want this too. Stop being a coward and get in there already.
But change was scary, especially a change this big. He was pretty sure Erwin would be over the moon about it, but he couldn’t be sure, and that slight trace of doubt was holding him in place.
He loves you. He loves you more than anyone else has ever loved you, and he has never humiliated you for anything you’ve ever wanted. You can do this. You owe it to him to do this. He was born for this. For Christ’s sake, he’s just scared to bring it up because of your multiple neurosis. So just stop being a baby and go already.
He took a deep breath and started moving, not allowing himself to balk until he was right outside the doorway. Levi remembered the way Erwin looked at the kids in the park, the way he smiled at expectant mothers, and the way he teared up in the car seat aisle in Target.
He’s made for this, Levi thought one more time, and stepped into the bathroom.
Once more Erwin’s back was to him. It was a beautiful back, strong, warm, and full of protective comfort. Levi loved holding Erwin, loved digging his fingers into that back when they made love. But now he was picturing that back being held by another set of hands. A smaller set, maybe chubby with bitten down fingernails.
When Erwin reached a particularly high note in his singing and his voice cracked, Levi decided to make his presence known. He cleared his throat.
Erwin whirled around and smiled. He never smiled as much when he looked at anyone else. Not when he looked at his old friends Nile and Mike, and not when he looked at their crazy friend Hanji either. No. Erwin’s smile was always at its warmest and brightest when it was directed at Levi, and the small man knew just how lucky he was to have it that way. Erwin’s arms reached for Levi with a murmured, “There’s my little anniversary boy.”
“I’m thirty four years old, Erwin. I’m hardly a boy,” Levi grumbled as the blonde pulled Levi into the pocket of his body.
“You’re my boy,” Erwin insisted. He pressed a kiss to the small square of skin behind Levi’s ear.
Levi shivered at the feeling of the man’s breath on his skin. It had been five years since he’d met Erwin. Five years since the day Erwin had accidentally run into him on a morning jog. Five years, and Levi had to admit he was more stupidly in love with the man than he’d ever been. And, he couldn’t deny it anymore no matter how sappy the thought was, Erwin was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Erwin’s hand slid down Levi’s chest, fingers slipping over the buttons of his crisp oxford shirt. “You are so beautiful,” the blonde marveled. He pressed his lips to Levi’s neck. “I lose myself every time I look at you.”
Levi snorted. “Cheesy bastard.”
“You’re blushing,” Erwin pointed out, sounding smug.
“Because I’m embarrassed for you!”
“God, I want to touch you all over,” Erwin growled, doing that thing where he ignored Levi in favor of being a giant horn dog. He pressed Levi more closely against himself as he mouthed down his neck.
“Oi! Stop that. We have reservations, you know!” Levi protested. “We’re already late because you insisted on fooling around in the shower.”
“As I recall you didn’t resist too much,” Erwin murmured. He dipped several of his fingers down past the waist of Levi’s suit pants.
“Well I’m resisting now!”
Levi squired in Erwin’s arms and gasped as the man’s fingers brushed his crotch.
“Well, well, look who’s getting excited,” Erwin chuckled. The big perv scraped his teeth across Levi’s jaw.
“Shut up. You’re worse,” Levi grumbled. He felt a familiar object digging into his back.
“Not going to deny it,” Erwin said, gripping Levi through his pants. “Now be a good boy and let me fuck you against the wall.”
Levi blanched, his heart rate sky rocketing as his brain seized hold of the words, but then he came back to himself.
“No way in hell!” he growled. I just got this suit dry cleaned.
“I’ll clean it again,” Erwin purred, hunting for Levi’s lips. “Now let me have you.”
“No!” Levi snapped. He strained against the man’s arms until he was released. “Behave!”
Erwin pouted. A man in his late thirties shouldn’t have pouted so effectively, but Erwin was a talented man. “But that’s no fun,” he whined.
Levi tried to keep his resolve standing. “Erwin Asshole Smith, you’re going to finish dressing, and then we’re going to--”
“What’s that in your hand?”
Levi froze and stopped speaking after the question. The blonde’s eyes were resting on the papers in Levi’s hand. He felt blood rush to his face. “Oh...this?”
Erwin reached for the papers, curiosity clear in his eyes, but Levi stepped back, clutching the papers to his chest.
Erwin’s face lit up in a wicked grin. “Hiding something, are we, little one?”
Levi felt his face flush. “N-no, I--”
“Wait. Is it an anniversary letter? Did you write something mushy and romantic for me, Levi?”
Levi’s eyes widened, and then he snapped. “Don’t be ridiculous! Do I have ‘sap’ tattooed across my forehead?”
“Is it a poem?” Erwin asked, glee the dominant expression lighting his face. “I bet it’s a love poem.”
“I’m going to vomit all over your face.”
“You’ve got to read it aloud,” Erwin said. “I won’t accept it otherwise.”
“Will you just shut up for a second?” Levi begged, willing the earth to just open up and swallow him.
Erwin chuckled and took Levi’s hand, the empty one, and brought it to his lips. “I’m sorry, love, what is it?”
You bastard, Levi thought as his heart thudded in his chest. He looked at the beautiful image Erwin portrayed. He was the perfect partner and the most wonderful man Levi had ever met.
Levi took another deep breath, though his constricted chest didn’t allow much air in, and then thrust the papers at Erwin’s chest and took a step back. He crossed his arms over his stomach as he watched Erwin lift the pages to his face with interest.
Levi’s heart was in his throat at this point, but he forced himself to keep silent as Erwin’s eyes took in the title of the document for preliminary adoption proceedings. And he also kept silent as he watched those eyes blow out in shock. And still he kept silent as Erwin’s hands lost their strength and the pages clattered to the floor. But then Erwin’s eyes looked up with the first traces of startled tears in them, and Levi could no longer keep his mouth shut as he said, “Because you’ve been so fucking obvious about it I guess it’s time we finally got ourselves our own shitty brat.”
Erwin’s mouth twitched, but whatever it was he wanted to say couldn’t seem to make it up past his lips. This was already embarrassing as shit, but Levi decided to take it to a whole new level since he already felt screwed manlihood-wise, so why the hell not. He reached out and took Erwin’s hand and said, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but if you want my opinion I guess I can admit that I think you’d make a good dad--a better one than I could ever hope to be. And I know I’ll probably be awful at first because kids make me hyperventilate with all that potential for mess, but if you’re willing to work with that, and accept me, then I’d like to raise a child with you.”
Levi bit the inside of his cheek after Erwin’s continued silence. But it didn’t last much longer. The next moment Erwin’s hand shot out and slammed Levi up against the wall.
“Marry me,” he choked out, framing Levi’s head with his arms as he pushed his forehead against the other man’s.
“W-what?” Levi stammered, totally derailed by the turn the conversation had taken.
Erwin began to fumble in his suit jacket without taking his eyes off of Levi. “I was going to ask you anyway. I wanted to do it tonight after dinner. But you’ve ruined that plan, Levi. Because after what you just said I can’t wait a single more moment for your answer.”
“Erwin--”
“I love you, Levi. I’ll never love anyone the way I do you, and I want to be with you. And yes, raise a child with you, and grow old with you, and never spend a day apart from you because you’re the key to my happiness and there’s nothing in the world that’ll ensure that more than having you stay by my side where I know you belong. And--damn it, Levi, I’m such a wreck. This is what you do to me. You unravel me so easily, and...god, I’m going to shut up now before I start blubbering.”
And then Erwin finally withdrew the small box from his suit pocket and flipped it open, and in it was a simple platinum band and set within it so that it was flush with the surface of the ring was a small but brilliant blue stone. It was Levi’s favorite color, a preference he’d developed after he’d fallen for Erwin and the man’s striking blue eyes.
Levi looked at the ring and then looked up at Erwin, and found himself blinking an awful lot because of a certain inconvenient wetness that had found its way into his eyes. “I swear to god you get sappier every day,” Levi said hoarsely.
Erwin let out a soft huff of laughter and reached forward to swipe away the wetness in Levi’s eyes before it could fall. “You say that and still haven’t seen the engraving on the ring,” he answered.
“You had it engraved?” Levi asked, faux judgment in his voice.
“I have a problem. I know.”
“You’re more embarrassing than Hanji and Isabel combined.”
“I think they’d be offended if they heard you comparing them to me.
Levi’s eyes were transfixed with the trembling smile and effusive warmth in the man’s face. He couldn’t have stopped himself from his next words even if he’d been muzzled. “Erwin, how am I supposed to wear something with an engraving?”
Erwin let out a sob and cradled Levi’s face in his hands. “Does that mean yes?”
Yes. Of course it did. No other answer had ever existed to that question.
“It means fucking kiss me already you stupid asshole,” Levi choked out feeling an ache so precious and deep he could barely talk over it.
So Erwin did, capturing Levi’s mouth with his in an airtight seal as he scooped the man up in his arms and crashed through the house until he was able to fully collapse onto the bed with his precious creature, half their clothes already off and littered on the hallway floor.
Neither of them remembered dinner until hours later, and by then they were both so exhausted that they couldn’t imagine anything as arduous as getting up and dressed. Pizza was ordered and eaten in bed, and Levi was so blissed out on Erwin endorphins that he didn’t even complain about the crumbs in the bed.
The next day two ridiculously wrinkled suits made their way into the local dry cleaners with no explanation, but the secret smiles on the couple who brought them in said everything anyway.
--