Movies From Mars

Its really easy to become a fan of the great barrel-chest, Paul Naschy but its not always so easy to understand why. Especially while sitting through the really bad ones like Count Dracula's Great Love.

This one tries really hard to take the immortal tale of Dracula in a different direction but when it is all said and done it is really pretty stupid. Two men and four women (I like those odds) have a bad accident while traveling and are left stranded in the middle of nowhere. They take shelter in an old abandoned sanitarium where Paul Naschy lives. Pretty cheery huh? Little do they know, Paul Naschy is a vampire and its not long before they will become blood drinking vampires themselves. Then we have a love story thrown into the mix. Hence the dumb title of Count Dracula's Great Love.

This very standard vampire flick has its ups and its downs. Unfortunately there are more downs then ups and its not a very good movie at all but that is besides the point. Lets start off on a positive note. Some of the more entertaining elements consist of scenes of sex and violence but that goes without saying. The film opens up with a bang and shows an axe which comes crashing down onto a mans achy-breaky skull. This scene comes complete with gore and then is played on a loop over and over again during the opening credits. I thought this was all pretty brilliant and figured that this movie was going to be a hoot all the way through but somehow they still managed to fuck it all up. Some of the other glorious moments of violence show chained women being whipped and tortured by Naschy and his band of female vampires. We have the expected steak through the heart stuff, lots of bare breasted vampire sluts, vampire melt-downs and a ridiculous vampire suicide scene.

Now for the bad stuff. Well first off the Elvira's Movie Macabre print that I saw is very dark and its not easy to see everything that is going on. Even worse then the lighting is the audio levels. It is so hard to hear these people speaking but then on the other hand it is not as if there is any kind of a real plot to follow so I suppose it doesn't matter. It also sucks that Paul Naschy doesn't take his shirt off as much as expected. I think he only bares his barrel-chest once in a love scene. Perhaps the worst thing about Count Dracula's Great Love is how slow paced it is. It is a real sleeper and I found myself forcing my eyes open more then once. Long reels of film go by where nothing seems to be happening until we get the next nude scene or if we are lucky a bit of blood but goddamn does it seem like ages are going by between each high note.

One thing that I thought was really strange about this movie was how the girls seem very attractive one minute and then in the next scene they are rather hideous. I am not sure if this was due to the makeup department or if there was just some sort of shape shifting magic going on here but I swear these babes are hot one moment and butt-ass ugly the next. So for this reason I am not even sure if all the Euro-Trash nude stuff is even a possitve thing.

I understand that Naschy fans are going to watch for Naschy sake but all others might want to skip this one. Its boring, slow and virtually plotless up until the end of the movie and they few moments of depravity is not enough to save Count Dracula's Great Love from being a great bore.

This Spanish Giallo is also widely known as The House Of Psychotic Women in America and even aired on television as House Of Doom. To think of this movie on t.v. is completely ridiculous. Everything that is cool about it must have been removed. I personally prefer the Blue Eyes Of The Broken Doll title and for multiple reason. First being that it sounds like a genuine Italian made Giallo. Secondly, blue eyes and dolls are both part of the plot.

Blue Eyes Of The Broken Doll was directed by Carlos Aured who I remember best as the director of Horror Rises From The Tomb but it was co written by the great barrel-chest Paul Naschy and I thank the horror-gods for that. Paul Naschy stars in this murder mystery as Gilles. Gilles is a gardener and grounds keeper at a giant mansion. Living in the mansion aside from Naschy is a bunch of hot women. Its a house of hot psychotic women if you will. Or at least that's what they want us to think. Well some of these babes do seem to be a bit off and it is Naschy who seems to be the only completely sane person in the whole damn house. That is at least till the later part of the film.

Well it becomes quite obvious that Naschy helped write this thing because his character does exactly what we expect him to do. He basically walks around and acts tough all the time and takes his shirt off constantly to show us and the females around him his giant barrel-chest that we all know and love him for. Of course the women can't resist him. After all, they never can. They take turns screwing him and it all is just one big excuse for the girls to get naked in front of the camera and Naschy too of course. In fact the movie starts off pretty slow going and the only thing that keeps us from falling asleep is the bare breasted bimbos that are always on screen. If it wasn't for the nudity Blue Eyes Of The Broken Doll would probably be a real drooler.

Eventually the movie shifts gears and becomes less of a Sexploitation flick and more of what we would recognize as a Giallo. We do get a black gloved killer roaming about and knocking off the women one by one in true Slasher fashion. The killer uses multiple weapons but in one of the most memorable scenes the weapon of choice is a simple gardening tool. The small little claw that is used for raking weeds up from the garden but in this scene it is used to claw out a pretty blond haired woman's eyes. In fact there is quite a bit of this eye-gore stuff and we often see the killer roaming around with blue eyes in the palm of the black gloves. Priceless! We are also treated to some maggots pouring out of a corpses eye sockets which is always a nice added bonus in the gross department.

Wait a minute, isn't Naschy a gardener in this movie? Does this mean he is the killer? Maybe... Blue Eyes Of The Broken Doll has so many red herrings. They almost try to pass every character in the movie off as the killer at some point and yes we do get a fair share of twists and turns and chances are you will never guess who the killer is before it is revealed even though there are some hints dropped here and there.

Some of the other scenes that come to mind that are worthy of talking about is a scene where Naschy gets into a knife fight and ultimately is stabbed in the guts. A babe seduces an old fucker while wearing her best cheerleader outfit. We get some cool looking squib effects in a gory 70's shoot-em-up scene and the ending is sure to make you chuckle.

Nowhere near my top favorite Giallo flicks or even Naschy movies for that matter but still worth a watch for plenty of naked female & Naschy chests alike.

First, a bit of history. The Vampyre was written in 1819 by John W. Polidori. It was the first Vampire story to ever be published in English... Thanks Wikipeidia.com

Now for the movie. Paul Naschy plays Lord Ruthven, a vampire who stalks and kills a young woman. That is really all you get here in this short film. The truth is it sucks! The Vampyre was to dark to see and completely uninteresting. Naschy is old as Nosferatu in this one and it is one hell of a downer. Don't watch it!

Written, directed and staring the great barrel chest who goes by the name of Paul Nashy. Nashy really blends the genres in this twisted tale of murder and betrayal.

Human Beasts also known as The Beasts Carnival and Cannibal Killers - Human Beast blends elements of an Italian style crime film, a gialo, a haunted house movie and an American style cannibalistic family like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Hills Have Eyes and in case if this isn't enough for you we are also treated to some killer pigs but we will get back to that later.

Paul Nashy plays Bruno, a backstabbing criminal who betrays his Asian girlfriend and partners during a heist. Once Bruno has the gems that he was after he shoots his partners full of holes and leaves his girlfriend stranded with the dead bodies on the side of the road.

Well we all know that the Japanese folk do not like to be dishonored so Nashy's girl swears vengeance upon him and fills him full of bullet holes to return the favor. With the help of some hand grenades Nashy makes his escape and seeks refuge in an old mansion where he is brought back to health by the man of the house and his two daughters. Right off the bat we know that something ain't right with this family. One of the daughters is a total slut-whore-nympho who likes to ride Nashy's unconscious, bullet filled body. The father likes to whip his black maid and the house seems to be haunted by a ghost of the late lady of the house. Of course Nashy sticks around and also takes turns sticking the daughters. We all know that the ladies just can't resist Paul Nashy and his infamous barrel-chest...

Soon the movie will shift gears again into slasher territory and we have a gialo type killer running around with black gloves and knocking people off one by one. In the best scene we witness a pervy man with a John Waters mustache being eaten alive by pigs. This scene is fucking awesome and makes the whole movie worth its time. Another victim catches a hook through the eye and we get slit throats and stabbings to boot. This is now the third Paul Nashy Gialo type movie I have seen to date. Panic Beats and Blue Eyes For A Broken Doll are the other two. I'm not sure exactly how many of these Italian influenced murder mysteries he has done but the three I have seen are all pretty cool for their own reasons and unlike the more popular Nashy monster-rama stuff Nashy doesn't necessarily have to win in the end.

Human Beasts comes complete with some artsy-fartsy and creepy dream sequences, naked female flesh, a bit of gore and cannibalism. Nashy fans will not be disappointed.

Yet another Paul Nashy, León Klimovsky (The Vampires Night Orgy, Devils Possessed) werewolf collaboration. This time writer Paul Nashy blends the tale of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde with The Wolfman.

Although this one starts off a little on the slow side it becomes quite the spectacle with Nashy of course playing the part of the werewolf and the evil Mr. Hyde. I have heard people call this one confusing but I think they just weren't paying attention because it makes sense. Even the edited, choppy, cut down version still makes sense. The story may be a little bit dumb but it isn't confusing. If you're looking for an intelligent plot you probably shouldn't be watching silly monster movies in the first place. I personally love this movie. It has one of the greatest moments in wolf-man cinema as far as I am concerned. It involves Paul Nashy transforming from Mr. Hyde to the reoccurring character of Waldemar Daninsky to the wolfman in a crazy hippie-delic Go-Go club. These hipsters are dancing they're bell bottoms off while the hairy version of Waldemar goes on a violent drooling rampage. Pretty Awesome!

Jack Taylor who I remember best as Professor Brown in Pieces shows up as Dr. Jekyll whom is of course still experimenting with granddaddy's old serums. (Try to follow me here) He finds an antidote for the evil identity of Mr. Hyde and when Waldemar comes to the Dr. for help he has the brilliant idea to strap Waldemar to a table on the first full moon. Inject him with the old grandpa Mr. Hyde solution. Naturally Mr. Hyde will over power the Wolfman (I don't know why he is so sure of this) and then he will inject the antidote which will "Destroy both demons". Not confusing, just dumb... but fun none the less. Of course the plan gets botched up when Dr.Jekyll gets stabbed in the back by his hot, jealous assistant.

This Spanish production offers up lots of good looking women. Unfortunately my copy is cut so I don't know if we get any bare breasts but I would assume we do. I would like to obtain an uncut print of this but for now my copy is good enough. It offers up a rape scene that is broken up by old barrel chested Paul Nashy while wearing his trademark turtleneck. We get the expected severed head which appears in almost every Nashy flick. Werewolf vs. a nurse in a elevator, Throat ripping, Stabbing, Shooting, Go-Go dancing mayhem, Drooling, Gratuitous "Bitch" calling, A scene where Mr. Hyde pushes a man into a river (just for the kicks), Burning corpses and of course some silly transformation scenes.

In one of the best moments Waldemar's lover watches from a balcony as Waldemar turns from man to wolfman under the full moon. This scene stands out due to the interesting camera angles and creepy lighting. Its a pretty creepy moment that should be appreciated by werewolf fans. Turn the lights down and the disco up and get on the dance floor with Nashy in one of the more entertaining of Nashy's Waldemar Daninsky, Werewolf flicks.

Written by and staring Spanish, horror icon Paul Nashy and directed by León Klimovsky (Werewolf Vs. The Vampire Women, The Vampires Night Orgy). This Medieval period piece tells the tale of a power hungry madman (Nashy) who terrorizes the land from his castle. Nashy loses all morality or at least close to all of it while under the spell of his vindictive, evil queen. Together they kidnap young virgins and sacrifice them in witchcraft rituals. This is until a old friend of Nashy's comes back to town and starts a renegade army to bring the evil ruler down once and for all.

This one is a little bit to {PG} for me. If it weren't for select scenes of violence and torture Devil's Possessed could almost be a made for television movie.

The highlights of the film are dancing midgets, decapitation (complete with rolling head), a child is stabbed for no apparent reason, torture by branding, torture by stretching, a eyeball is poked out in a joust match and a man is filled with flying arrows. In one of my favorite moments we see a rotten corpse mounted like a scarecrow with a sign on him that says "He didn't pay his taxes".

Surprisingly we don't get any bare breasted women and nothing to overly gory. We get tons of sword-play and lots of cheesy characters. Devil's Possessed has limited replay value and is really only worth a watch for hardcore Paul Nashy enthusiasts. Not my top pick of Nashy flicks but none the less a decent time passer.

Horror Rises From The Tomb is one of my favorites from Paul Naschy. Not because its a epic film but mainly because of the overall madness that goes on throughout the 95 minute run time.

The film opens up with Paul Naschy being accused of black magic. He is then decapitated and his beautiful woman is strung up by her ankles, whipped and burnt at the stake. The whole movie is chock full of gratuitous nudity and violence and although the plot might not be the most comprensive in cinema history it sure is a fun one to watch. The viewer never knows what is coming next but eventually learns that the next frame will probably be as sleazy as the last.

It mixes all the major horror genres into one big mix of zombies, black magic, witches and possessed madmen who run around hacking up pretty women. We also have a John Carradine look alike who's weapon of choice is a slingblade and he does his share of maiming and mangling women. Theres also some gory gun-violence and a really awesome scene involving a execution of two murderers by local vigilantes. The musical score is reminiscent of a classic Hammer film and the dubbing will please Kung Fu fan-boys.

This one is perfect with a group of drunken friends or alone. Not recommended for anyone in the mood for a very serious movie. This one is about as serious as Evil Dead Part 2 : Dead By Dawn.

Paul Naschy really likes doing these werewolf movies. Its a shame that I don't always enjoy watching them. This one is pretty boring all around. Curse Of The Devil opens up with two knights dueling it out on horseback. One of them is decapitated and the head is held in front of the camera for gore hounds to gawk at with the awful 70's style blood that we all know and love and its more silly than ever here. Then we have some witches being hung and another burned at the stake. Before the witch is burned alive she places a curse on the family who is responsible. We jump forward in time and a axe murderer is on the loose along with a werewolf who is of course played by Paul Naschy. Unfortunately the murders are not shown in enough detail. We see axe's coming down but never really get to see anybody being hacked up. The same goes with the werewolf scenes. We get a little blood here and there but not enough to save the movie from being a bore-fest. My personal favorite scene consists of a pick axe to the chest and a bit of splatter on the camera lens. There is also a a scene with a man who's face has been shreaded by the claws of the wolf. We also get a few naked babes running around and of course a few man to wolf transformations but they don't really offer anything new. Aside from these few decent moments Curse Of The Devil is pretty slow. Naschy completest might dig this one but the rest of us should skip it.