Movies From Mars

Get ready for a bit of sexism with The Three Stooges in Matri-Phony. Set in ancient Rome Moe, Larry and Curly find themselves in a bit of trouble when they are arrested for being "Girl hoarders".

Emperor Octopus demands the fairest red-head in all of Rome and the Stooges were caught hiding her. Luckily for Moe and Larry emperor Octopus needs eye glasses. They break the glasses and disguise themselves as Roman guards. Notice I left Curly out when I said Emperor Octopus needs glasses. Poor Curly pretends to be the half blind emperor's new bride and in the funniest moment Moe tells Curly "To get sexy" for the emperor Octopus. Curly is chased around the bedroom by the horny emperor and we are treated to some sweet talking romance and naughty pinching. Curly definitely steals the show and gets all the best gags. In one of my favorite scenes Curly deviously plucks the leg hairs from a guard. Ouch! Check it out and see The Stooges poison an old drunkard, get speared in the ass, go to war with a crab and run amok in ancient Rome.

Malice In The Palace is one of the most popular of all Three Stooges shorts. This is mainly due to how long it has been available in public domain dollar disk sets but personally it is one of my least favorite shorts from the trio.

Moe, Larry and Shemp run a restaurant and their next guest are a couple of thieves who are plotting out a jewelery heist and murder. The Stooges catch wind of the idea and disguise themselves as Santa Clause's and steal the Jewel from a giant black man armed with a big sword.

Malice In The Palace has some funny bits in it. Especially when they turn a guard in the palace into a human water statue. They fill the guards bloated belly with water and when they punch him in the gut water spews continuously from his mouth like a pissing cupid statue. Then we have a very memorable moment in the restaurant where Larry chases cats and dogs around with a big meat cleaver. Shemp is almost wasted space in this one. We don't get any of his famous Shemp, wobbly-knee foot-work. For me Larry really steals the show this time around.

This Edward Bernds remake of Del Lords 1940 Three Stooges romp A Plumbing We Will Go holds up well to the crazy escapades that Curly offered up nine years earlier. I prefer the 1940 flick a touch more but they are both very good and jam packed with goofs and laughs.

The Stooges get their hands wet as plumbers. Their company name is Day And Nite Plumbers and they got their first call to mansion where the upper class scum is holding a party. Amongst the yuppies are two criminals on a mission to steal a priceless painting.

On the Stooges arrival they are of course talked down upon. By now we all know that every Three Stooges short is a class-war disguised as a comedy. The Stooges get back at the rich bastards by destroying their home and hitting the butlers over the head with heavy pipes. They flood the kitchen, bathroom, basement and hallways. Watter pours from the television and light fixtures in buckets.

Shemp's take on the maze of pipes in the famous bathtub scene is almost as good as Curly's. Larry goes a bit nuts with a blowtorch and sets Moe's ass on fire. Larry also roams around in covered from head to toe in white powder and the guests run from him. Moe "How much do you charge to haunt a house" Larry "Depends... How many rooms".

The Stooges save the day this time and catch the bandits. Of course they get no reward and they leave the mansion flooded with water.

One of the best of all Three Stooges remakes!

Shemp is to inherit a large sum of money under the condition that he finds a girl to marry him before 6:00 PM. He calls every girl he knows and makes a ass out of himself each time. He catches a variety of beatings from various different women and of course Moe as well. Larry stands in the background which is typical for the average Three Stooges short but his screen time is always much appreciated.

Shemp really steals the show in this one and the movie belongs to him. Moe has some great bits as well. One that always sticks in mind is a gag inside a phone booth where Shemp and Moe get tangled up together in the telephone wires. Naturally these two can't be this close to each other without causing the other some pain. They bite each other and bang heads and its funny no matter how many times you see it. Also watch for the awesomely homo erotic moment between Moe and Larry in the hallway.

By the end of the film Shemp is ruining from herds of greedy women who want to get their hands on his inheritance. Moe takes charge and slaps a few of the women around while Larry just gets hurt a lot.

One of the most famous and most memorable of all Three Stooges Shorts. A must see for all Shemp fans. Just watch as he sticks shaving cream in his eyes and attempts to straight razor himself clean. "OOOOW OOOOW Moe, I cut my head off. My head is off Moe".

Moe Larry and Curly terrorize a court house in one of the most easily accessible Three Stooges shorts. This short is readily available on countless public domain packs and is quite memorable to any Stooges fan.

The Stooges bring in some sex appeal riff raff who does a bit of a strip tease while the three lunk-heads get rebellious with a swing number. Its not long before they are shooting hand guns off, calling the judge names, hitting the jury over the heads with hammers, blasting the court down with a fire hose and screaming like Tarzan. Curly gets his head crushed in a vice  "I'll squeeze the cider outta yer Adam's apple!" and we also get a awesome scene where Curly gives us the middle finger which would make a great T shirt.

Disorder In The Court is a timeless classic from the Stooges filled with chaos and some really funny bits from Curly and Larry alike.

This is one of the weirdest of all Three Stooges shorts. Shemp dies but can't make it into heaven untill he reforms Moe and Larry. Shemp gets a lightning bolt in the ass and is sent back to earth as a ghost where he will act out his mission.

Instead of leading Moe and Larry down a ritouse path Shemp takes advantage of the fact that the other two Stooges can't see or hear him and beats them both silly. I guess all those beatings Shemp has endured from Moe over the years are finally justified in this short. Shemp throws drinks in their faces and kicks them in the ass any chance he gets. Not to mention the good ole sewing needle to the ass gag.

Moe invents a pen that can write under whipped cream and plans to sell it to a rich collector but Shemp messes that one up for his pals as well in a scene that ends in a typical Stooges mess. Whipped cream goes flying and Larry has the pen embedded into his skull in a brilliantly violent moment. Heavenly Daze also offers up the slightest bit of racism from a typical 1940's black butler who is scared of ghosts. Shemp also pulls off a great stunt in which he sets his ass on fire "Hey Larry! He's been smoking in bed again! Get the water and the axe!" and he jumps around a room as it spreads up to his lower back. Gotta love it!

Moe, Larry & Curly play three photographers Click, Clack & Cluck and Whack Magazine sends the three morons on a new assignment in Vulgaria. The only problem is taking pictures in Vulgaria is punished by death. When the Three Stooges end up on the firing line they escape their execution and head for the local bar.

In one of the funniest bits Curly or Cluck gets pretty drunk and has a battle with his oyster soup, all the while wearing a silly hat and an even more silly grin. The bowl of oyster soup seems to be winning the fight until Curly/Cluck goes completely ape and shoots the place up.
We also get a scene where Cluck wears a big crash symbol on his head and plays some very interesting music, while using the walls as a drum stick.

Check it out for some mind numbing, brain smashing good times with Curly. He clearly owns this short.