Milani

By Sima Rubushe
(Narrator)
She is a young and an intelligent girl from Magxaki, PE, Eastern
Cape, not only is she a top achiever in her studies who gets all
the awards and medals when it comes to acting but her maroon
school blazer is full of badges of neatness, best behavior and
even the greatest thespian of Magxaki high school. She is brown-
skinned, very melanin, hourglass body and her thick black afro is
something you’d always remember her with, she barely plaits
her hair and hates wigs so much that she even judged her own
mom for wearing them, she is Milani Mxenge Bhele and this is
her story.

(Milani)
“Bhelekazi” she would say...I lost my mom Aphindiwe 3weeks
ago, she was everything to me, she was my best friend, my
mentor, my backbone, she was everything a child could ever
wish for in a mother. I’m so brown but whenever I look in the
mirror I see pale, I’m so drained from all the crying and trying to
hold tears back but they keep coming and coming. I wouldn’t say
my mom was a single mother financially because dad was
always there, but physically, emotionally and mentally my mom
had always been a single mom, the last time I saw my dad was
when I was 8 in 2011 when we were burying my grandma (mom’s
mom). Dad is a surgeon specialist, he’s Zulu, he's medium-
height brown-skinned and wears his black framed glasses, he
lives in Joburg with his wife and kids and he’s such an empty
promiser, he always makes promises that he can never fulfill, he
promised he would be there on my first day of high school, he
promised he’d be there on my 7th grade prom, but he was never
there instead all he knows is sending money and telling me I’m
not part of his schedule but forever part of his budget, which is
always annoying. My dad is Bonginkosi Mthembu and he’s sitting
right next to me in my mom’s room, on top of her bed.
Dad: “She’s watching over you now my baby, you have earned
yourself a guardian angel.” My tear drops on this framed black
and white picture of me and mom that I was carrying in my
hands.
Dad: “Let me go fetch you some water. "I nod, and dad gets up to
leave, Siyanda walks in (my aunt, dad’s little sister).
Siyanda: “Mila my baby, I just want to let you know that you’re
not alone in this, okay?” I sob.
Siyanda: “No, man I hate seeing you like this, come to aunty
Yanda.” I lean in for a hug.
Siyanda: “As you know mos ukuthi nami I lost my mom when I
was your age, actually I was younger, I was only 12 and was able
to pull through, so wena uzohlulwa yhini?”
Me: “You were able to pull through because you had your
brothers Yanda, mna I’ll never be able to pull through because I
have no one from my mom’s side, no siblings and distant
cousins, so I have no one absolutely no one Yanda!” I was crying
and sobbing nonstop with Siyanda hugging me and my tears
were all over her blue dress.
Siyanda: “You have me angel, you have your dad and even Mazwi
and Sizwe.” Mazwi and Sizwe are my brothers, they’re twins and
are having their 17th birthday this December, I’m convinced
they’re dad’s favorites since my dad went back to their mom and
married her.
Me: “It’s different okay, Sizwe no Mazwi have each other
because abazali babo are married and I...I...” I couldn’t even
finish my sentence and tears rolled down my cheeks
uncontrollably so.
Siyanda: “Not anymore okay, thina sonke we’re gonna be united
this time.”
Me: “Kanjani ngoku when you guys are heading back to Jozi?” My
dad walked in with the glass of water and said...
Dad: “I was about to talk to you about that Lani.”
Me: “About what?”
Dad: “You’re going to Joburg with us.” Is he serious right now?
Does he even consider my feelings? He wants me to go and play
happy family nala mfazi wakhe? Wow.
Me: “Uhm, tata...njani ngoku?”
Dad: “We figured it’s best you move in with us.”
Me: “As in, move in with you guys in the big house?” The big
house was where everybody came for the weekends and
holidays.
Dad: “Yes.” I was looking for the best approach in all of this, I
was never rude to my dad, and I would not be starting now.
Me: “Tata, I have a life here, I can’t just abandon it.”
Dad: “Which life exactly?”
Me: “The life that mom gave me, the life that you couldn’t give
me tata.”
Dad: “You mean the life that I gave you? All your mom knew was
to buy alcohol with all her salary, clearly, I was the breadwinner
here, I wonder how the learners she taught concentrated kodwa
she was a drunkard. Too bad it’s not an option ke, you’re coming
with us angikubuzi futhi angeke ngiku ncenge, you better start
packing ngoba we’re leaving on Sunday.” I was out of words, was
he seriously taking over my life, taking over what he had never
built, I felt powerless and hurt by his words and the next thing I
felt were tears on my cheeks again and filling my eyes.
Me: “Get out tata, nawe Siyanda, I need some time alone.”
Siyanda: “Excuse me??”
Me: “Get out! Phumani man! (cries)”

(Narrator)
It’s the 15th of December 2018 and Milani, her dad and Siyanda
are going to Joburg, everything packed and they’re travelling in
their private jet, the tension is too much to a point where it can
be cut with scissors, is Milani being ungrateful for all the good
that’s about to come and the great opportunities and many
doors her dad is opening for her? Or is her dad being a bully by
not letting her stay in Magxaki and continue playing netball and
pursuing her dreams in Magxaki high school? Is her dad a bully
or a protector?
(Milani)
In this private jet I’m staring outside the window and reminiscing
about all the fun times I had in Port Elizabeth; it was good while
it lasted. My thoughts are being interrupted by Siyanda who
can’t stop talking about her fiancé Kabelo, I just don’t see
myself being this crazy about a guy shame, never!
Our 1hr and 30min flight arrived in Joburg and we stopped at this
huge field.
Dad: “Bafethu, let me make some calls.” Calls zantoni ngoku?
He’s so dramatic. While he was still at it a black BMW 2017
model parked in front of us and there were two guys inside, one
was driving and the other sitting in the front seat, I know them
from somewhere for sure... “Hebana! Is this Mila?” Okay...how
does he know me, he gets out of the car and gives me a huge
hug, surely, I know him from somewhere but ndimlibele.
Dad: “Come on Lani, you don’t know who this is?”
Me: “No.”
Dad: “Hayibo, this is Enzo, Enzokuhle, remember him?” Mhmm,
thought as much he had to be one of my dad’s friends he
befriends everyone he meets, I’m sure.
Me: “Oh, uhm. I still don’t remember him though but hey.”
Enzo: “I’m so disappointed but hey to you too Milz.” And he
laughs, energy engaka sana?
We went inside the car, and I greeted the guy who was driving,
he smirked hayibo and then sana? Inside the house we went, it’s
more beautiful than the last time I saw it, the last time I was here
was when I was probably 6.
I see my uncles running to the car, Bandile, Bekumuzi and
Bhekisisa the audacity to even come and greet me when they
didn’t come and support me when I lost my mom, wow.
Bandile: “Hawu mntaka bhuti! Usukhulile manje, ngakucgcina
useyingane encane!” He said (He is the second last born)
Me: “Yeah, that’s because you guys never visit.” And suddenly
everything became tense, but Uncle Bekumuzi broke the ice by
saying...
Bekumuzi: “Aww! Usukhuluma nesingesi, hayi cha impela
ukhulisile la ubafo.” Lol. Bekumuzi is the 3rd last born, he comes
after Bhekisisa.
Bhekisisa: “Let’s go inside ke nkosazana abafo bakho are
waiting for you inside!” We went inside and Mazwi gave me a hug
while his mom was in the kitchen chopping onions.
Me: “Where’s Sizwe?” I asked
Mazwi: “Oh, he’s upstairs taking a shower.”
Me: “Oh.”
Yvonne: “Hey Milani my angel.” She came up to me and gave me
a hug.
Me: “Hey maka Mazwi.” I hugged her back.
Yvonne: “I’m making dinner, want to join me?”
Me: “No, not really I’m tired I just want to rest.”
Mazwi: “Wait, before you go to bed, baba, have you considered
which school Mila is going to?”
Dad: “She’ll be going to the school you guys are attending.”
Me: “Aren’t they done with school?”
Mazwi: “Someone had really forgotten the age of their brothers?
Never!!” Well, I was just pretending I had forgotten their ages
and didn’t want it to be too obvious that I stalked their Instagram
almost every day but never followed them.
Me: “Now that’s crazy!” And we laughed. Mazwi had always
been my favorite because Sizwe had always been uptight and
played “big brother” all the time, he’s so like my uncles lamntu
speaks isiZulu like 80% of the time, I’m sure ilwimi lakhe
becomes sore when he speaks English throughout the whole
day, if he even does.
Mazwi: “Let me go show you your room.”
Me: “Okay.” We went upstairs and I bumped into Sizwe with his
towel wrapped around his body.
Me: “Uhm...sorry.”
Sizwe: “Aww, sis’wami bengazi nje ukuthi nguwena lona, woza
uzongi hug.a” And I gave him the longest hug ever. Mazwi helped
me put my stuff inside the bedroom which had an En-suit, life
really is good in Joburg, that framed black and white picture of
me and my mom, I made sure it was next to my bed. I went for a
quick nap and woke up to this breath-taking scent of food. As I
walked down the stairs it became more appetizing.
Yvonne: “I dished up already Mila, uyakufuna ukudla?”
Me: “Yeah, but where’s dad?”
Yvonne: “Oh, he went to a meeting.”
Me: “Yeah, right, you just used his favorite line.”
Yvonne: “Mhmm!” I sat down and watched the Tv while I was
eating this great tasting oxtail Yvonne made, I didn’t know she
was a great cook, on the socials ingathi she’s some barbie doll
who’s never interested in being a real person. Oops, I guess
being here will make me stop stalking her.
Me: “Where’s Mazwi and Sizwe?”
Yvonne: “They’re upstairs, probably playing some TV game.”
Me: “So you guys never sit like a family?”
Yvonne: “We hardly do, since I’m the housewife, I’m always in
the kitchen for people who’ll order takeaways, and your dad is
always at work or in some meeting.”
Me: “Gosh, staying in this house must be draining hey.”
Yvonne: “Very much, and I’m sure I’m the most drained out of
all.”
Me: “So, where’s Siyanda?”
Yvonne: “She’s with Kabelo most of the time.”
Me: “Mhm, must be nice hey.”
Yvonne: “I need to get you a new phone.”
Me: “Hayibo, ise right nje iphone yam.”
Yvonne: “Yes, I know but uzowa shoot.a njani ama video
nezithombe if you’re still using a mobicel.”
Me: “Wow, I feel so insulted.” And we both laughed very hard.
“WOW! My 2 favorite girls in the whole wide world share a laugh?
I’m the most favored!” We looked back and it was dad.
Me: “Well, well if it’s not Mr. “I have a meeting in the next hour,
who can it be?”
Dad: “Akukhulunywa kanjalo no babakho Lani!”
Me: “Hayibo ndiyadlala.” I was so not joking; all he knows is to
put his work first lo.
.
.
.
.
(Narrator)
It’s the 21st of December, the day Mazwi and Sizwe have been
waiting for! And the Mthembu’s are having a blast...
(Milani)
In the kitchen, helping Yvonne and my uncles’ wives (Thembi &
Zoleka) set the tables, good thing uncle Bandile isn’t married,
these wives got attitude hey?
Mazwi: “Hey, sis.” I looked back and it was Mazwi.
Me: “Oh, uhm...hey, you look nice by the way today.”
Mazwi: “Thanks, also, I wanted to thank you for helping mom
out, but you really don’t have to, okay?”
Me: “Hayi, kulungile I don’t mind helping.”
Mazwi: “You need to go and get ready, your peers are outside,
you cannot be acting like a mom, okay? And besides there’s a
guy who’s really close with the drama professor at school who
I’d like you to meet.”
Me: “Uhm, okay ke I’ll just go get dressed because of the last
line you said.” And we both laughed.
Wearing my white boyfriend jeans and loose black sweater with
my ankle converse, tied my afro up, wore my mom’s necklace I
left the room.
Dad: “Heyi! Lani, you’re looking fly today.”
Me: “Don’t you have a meeting to be at?”
Dad: “Hey, about that I-”
Sizwe: “The party is getting started guys come on!” Dad couldn’t
even finish his sentence and one of his favorite boys cut him,
well, well, well the party really has started. As I walked towards
the table with the potato salad in my hands, I bumped into this
guy who was tall, not too tall, just taller than me, brown-
skinned, he had these black monolid eyes, a mustache and a
cute little fade....
The guy: “Oh, I’m sorry, I really am.” I was about to answer but
Mazwi said...
Mazwi: “Oh, sis, this is the guy I wanted you to meet, Liyema
meet my little sister Milani and Milz this is the guy I wanted you
to meet.”
Me: “Oh, it has been a pleasure meeting you Liyema.”
Liyema: “These past 2years, you were the only thing your brother
could ever speak about.”
Me: “Oh nyani? I didn’t know big bro was obsessing over me?” I
said while laughing out loud.
Mazwi: “I’m not obsessed...I mean, well kinda obsessed with
the way you are on stage sis, it’s just so perfect for you, you were
literally born for it.”
Me: “Ncooh look at big bro, well thank you, Theater is my life.”
And we all laughed.
Liyema: “Working with you next year will sure be exciting.”
Me: “Well, I hope so.” And we all giggled.
Drinks, Braaied meat, Smoke everywhere and the pool water
splashing all over the place, sure was perfect but one thing that
stood out today was Liyema, he looks great, smells great and
has a lot of sense of humor. In my bed laying on my back and
thinking about everything that happened today, then decided to
walk down the stairs and went to the kitchen to pour myself
some water, my mind is elsewhere but I quickly came back to
my senses when I feel a hand tap my shoulder, I froze and then
quickly looked back...
Me: “Sizwe you startled me!” He laughed out loud as if I had just
cracked a joke.
Sizwe: “Dad was calling you; we’re playing a little game at the
lounge as a family, want to join?”
Me: “Is it a TV game, ‘cause if yiyo shame I’m not joining you
guys.”
Sizwe: “Cha, it’s not just come.”
Me: “Okay.” I put the glass of water on the countertop and went
to the lounge, and everyone was sitting down, wearing pajamas
and dad was carrying cards.
Me: “Oh, sodlala amakhasi?”
Dad: “Not really, we’re playing truth or dare so if the bottle spins
to you, you get to choose any card while they’re all faced down
and then you pick one let’s say maybe you pick 2, then you get to
choose if you want them both to be dares, truths or separate, got
it?”
Me: “Okay, I’m in.” We played along the game and the bottle
pointed at Yvonne and she got number 1 and chose truth.
Bekumuzi: “Yvonne hawusitshele ke sis, ushade ubafo ngengxa
yemali zakhe or uyamthanda nokumthanda?” Mazwi, Sizwe and
I gasped.
Dad: “Hayibo Beku! Awucabangi ukuthi usensitive njenga
manje?”
Zoleka: “Hayi makaphendule lo, because all she ever does is sit
around this house, pretending to be a housewife kodwa she’s
busy feeding false info to her fans.”
Yvonne: “Excuse me? How dare you speak to me like that wena
tiki line? Msun'wenja esebenza e Call Centre? How dare you
speak to an educated woman like that wena huh?!” It was my
first time ever hearing Yvonne shout and swear like that, she
was fuming, we were still on that and Zoleka stood up and
poured wine all over Yvonne’s face.
Dad: “Hawume kancane man Zoleka...Eyi! Uyangi casula ke
manje!” Dad was holding Yvonne, who was freaking out and
ready to break all our heads.
Zoleka: “Oksalayo the fact remains sis, you’re just a lawyer by
profession, in reality you’re just a ‘stay-at-home-wife'” I could
feel Yvonne's anger rising, even I was getting angry on her
behalf.
Yvonne: “And oksalayo the fact remains ukuthi mina I’m a ‘stay-
at-home wife by choice, wena you’re uneducated, you work a 9-5
job and even if you wanted to be a ‘stay-at-home-wife like me,
you wouldn’t because unlike my man Bonginkosi who’s a doctor
and is able to provide for me, your man is just a construction
worker who gets paid peanuts, so don’t you dare! Rhaa
wentombazana, do you know how much this channel nightgown
you’ve just poured with this cheap red wine you bought from
Shoprite liquor is worth? ungazongi dakelwa mina!
Bandile: “Guys I was think-”
Yvonne: “And wena, Bekumuzi, how dare you ask me that
question when you know very well I’ve been with this man for
almost all my life, ngamshada lomuntu when I was only 21 years
of age and I stayed when he lost his job in Cape Town and when
he got a new job at Durban ngahamba naye when he worked
4years at Durban General so how dare you ask me that shit? I
sticked with him through thick and thin, I don’t get along with my
aunts today because I wanted to keep my pregnancy when I was
only 14 and pregnant with twins Bekumuzi, and when he decided
to leave me and went to fresh meat uAphindiwe, then came back
again, I accepted him!” Did she really have to involve my
mother?
Me: “But he came back, didn’t he?”
Yvonne: “No, sweetheart, I didn’t mean it like tha-”
Me: “Please stop treating me like a charity case.” And I stood up
and left all of them there, clearly the Mthembu’s cannot have a
great time without fighting or bringing up the past.
(Narrator)
Things are steamy at the Mthembu mansion, Milani is worked
out by everything and misses her mom so much, after
deactivating all her socials, she sure does feel like a ghost, it’s
the 25th of December, it’s Christmas day and things are still a bit
tense between Yvonne and Milani, but Mazwi and Sizwe do not
really care, they’ve been not at home since the 21st of December
after that huge fight Yvonne, Bekumuzi and Zoleka had, which
also affected Milani because Yvonne mentioned her mom’s
name, nonetheless they came back today, reeking of alcohol
and passed out on top of their beds...not being at home for a
very long time sure can cause tiredness and starvation....I’m
sure.
(Milani)
I had always wondered what living in Joburg would be like, I had
imagined it to be something better than this and clearly, I was
wrong. In my bed, with tons of snacks under it and my dry phone
beside the bed, my dad is knocking non-stop at the door, oh
kanene it’s Christmas day, how does he expect me to spend this
day with laughter abe umama engekho, does he not get the fact
that this is my fist Christmas ever that I’ll be spending without
my mom ? Is he that ignorant na?
Dad: “Lani my angel, please come out of your room, I even
bought you a dress (bangs the door)”
Me: “Hamba tata torho, I just need some time alone.”
Dad: “Lani, I can’t leave my one and only daughter on Christmas
day by herself, I know this is your first Christmas without uPhindi
my love, but we can work through it together, okay?” Oh, finally
he gets it. I go and open the door and see his face, he looks like a
person who has been begging for years.
Dad: “Lani sthandwa sami, I’m sorry for everything.”
Me: “You don’t have to be.”
Dad: “But I am.”
Me: “Well, mna ndiyakuxelela kaloku, don’t be, andiyo charity
case yakho mna.”
Dad: “Heyi wena ngane, stop using that line, charity case
yamasimba you’re my daughter, so please try on this dress.”
Me: “Hayi tata, yilokhwe etheni le? This dress is giving ‘Sofia the
first’ kinda vibe.” And we both laughed out loud.
Me: “I’ll just wear something else ke instead of that.”
Dad: “Okay, just please make sure you look for a dress okay
pumpkin?”
Me: “Okay.” And he came closer and gave me a hug then a
forehead kiss.
I just wish that nothing gets ruined today, wearing my nude body
con dress which is long and sleeveless I grabbed my white
superstar sneakers and left my long beautiful afro hanging I put
on my lip-gloss and left the room, heading to the kitchen and I
saw Yvonne there, I quickly turned back but then heard her call
my name....
Yvonne: “Uhm...Milani.” I turned back and walked towards the
kitchen counter where she was standing.
Yvonne: “I just wanted to apologize for the other day, I shouldn’t
have involved your mother in it, I was very angry with Zoleka, and
I hated myself for the past 5days of not talking to you, because
you’re the only person who cares about how I feel.”
Me: “No I get you maka Mazwi, but please do not involve my
mom’s name next time you’re trynna sort out one of these
bitches!”
Yvonne: “Mhmm! At least someone else sees them as bitches,
right?” And we both laughed.
Me: “And sana jonga, umnikile indaba zakhe uZoleka the other
day, umthe give!” And she laughed hard.
Yvonne: “Hawu ngempela?” she asked while still giggling
Me: “Jonga ndiyakuxelela!” And we laughed.
Yvonne: “What a great body shape you have, go girl!”
Me: “Ayifiki kweyakho.” And she laughed as I helped her carry
the food outside.
Outside, I see Mazwi and Sizwe playing basketball by the court
and Zoleka and Thembi’s daughters busy posing for the pictures
Bandile was taking them, Dad is at the braaiing place with uncle
Bekumuzi and Bhekisisa busy taking sips on their beers while
giggling non-stop and sis Thembi and Zoleka setting out the
table while Yvonne was still in the kitchen mixing the salads, MY
PERFECT FAMILY.
We sit down and are about to eat outside, dad prays, as always
but then we hear the gate bell ring...
Mazwi: “Oh uhm...sorry fam, my friend asked me if he can come
over.”
Sizwe: “Wow, and you didn’t tell us?”
Mazwi: “It was short notice guys, okay?”
Bandile: “Kodwa mfanami, it’s already enough that your friends
come over almost every single weekend, even on Chrismas
day?hawu angeke!” He said while taking a bite on his chicken,
wow, so like him.
Thembi: “The only person who should be coming in through that
gate is Siyanda, where is she anyways?” Oh damn...usekhona
kanti lomntu? I even forgot she existed....
Yvonne: “She’s spending Christmas day with her in-laws"
Me: “To-be” And we all laugh.
Dad: “It’s okay, go get the gate Zwi mfanami.” And he went to get
it, as I was stuffing my face, I was still busy wondering who this
friend he is bringing over could be and I looked up and it was
Liyema, damn...it’s the guy from the birthday party, I quickly
took a napkin and wiped off the food that was on my face.
Liyema: “Molweni bantu abadala.”
Bhekisisa: “Heh Mazwi, awung’tshele, yhini indaba mina
ngingazi ukuthi lomfana ngumXhosa?”
Me: “Oh, I didn’t know either, ye Liyema ungumXhosa kanti?”
Dad and Sizwe looked at each other then looked at me again, it
seemed like they were gossiping about me ngamehlo.
Liyema: “Hayibo, even my name says it njena.” And everyone
laughed, except for dad and Sizwe, why were they acting this
weird gosh.
Liyema: “You look absolutely gorgeous today though!”
Yvonne: “She didn’t hear you, yiphinde mfana!” How I love her
humor.
Liyema: “Okay, I said...Milz, you look breath-taking today!” and I
laughed.
Me: “Okay that sounds better.”
Sizwe: “Okay, everyone the party is over manje, Liyema please
take a seat and dig in this wonderful food my mom and aunts
had made.” And I laughed.
Bekumuzi: “Awu isikhwele ngo dadewenu Sizwe mfana?”
Sizwe: “Angeke phela mina ngibuke udadewethu omncane
ashelwa phambi kwami? Hawu ngeke!” And we all laughed. gosh
the D-R-A-M-A!

30th of December...
Today I woke up, brushed my teeth and took a 20min shower,
wore my black skinny jeans with a stripy black and white crop
top and my Ipanema navy-blue flip flops, tied my afro up and left
the room for breakfast downstairs.
Me: "Morning family!"
Sizwe: "Mhmm, someone's in a good mood this morning." I
laughed.
Me: "I don't know why ndikwi good mood namhlanje ke yazi,
maybe it's because your mom said we're going perfume and
handbag shopping today."
Sizwe: "Perfume shopping for ingane? Hawu uyabheda phela
manje uma."
Me: "Hayibo, I'm 16 Sizwe."
Sizwe: "15, still about to turn 16 on April."
Me: "Urgh, whatever." We were still at it when dad came running
down the stairs shouting my name...
Dad: "Milani!"
Me: "Ta?" He seemed very excited.
Dad: "Well, guess what."
Me: "What?"
Dad: "You've been accepted at Mazwi and Sizwe's school."
Before I could even answer Sizwe choked on his cereal then
said...
Sizwe: "Wait what? Dad how?" I looked at him and said...
Me: "Hayibo Sizwe, ikhona na ingxaki?"
Sizwe: "I told dad I don't want you there, baningi ama fuck boys
laphayana and I just don't wanna see you hurting."
Dad: "It was the only school that didn't reject her, khumbula
phela ama applications avaliwe."
Sizwe: "Okay, but she better gets out before it's too late."
Me: "Hayibo bhutiza, you don't get to decide whether I stay or
not, that's entirely up to me."
Dad: "Hey, hey, don't take it to heart, he's just being
overprotective, he's just looking out for his younger sister."
Me: "I'm not even that young, it's just 2 years qha."
Sizwe: "Oksalayo I'm older."
Me: "Mxm whatever." And we all laughed. Yvonne came down
the stairs and Mazwi was still in his room, probably sleeping. We
got inside the car, and she was playing kwaito...I didn't know she
loved it this much, her cubby-hole has many CDs and albums of
different Kwaito songs.
Our first stop was Lovisa in Fourways mall, she took some
jewelry for herself, and she made me pick out some beautiful
pearl earrings and a silver necklace with some hair bands, I was
already done but ke usisiza had to shop out the whole store. To
finish up we went to cotton-on, and she bought me this black
sling bag which had a gold chain, and bought herself some
slippers, we obviously had to grab some ice-cream and I chose
the Oreo flavored ice-cream, as she chose the chocolate flavor.
We drove to Sandton City (it's a mall) and went to Osmanli Oud
for some perfumes, and I chose this perfume which had a
Vanilla scent Demirhan- EAU De perfume which smells great,
and she took the Gulbahar Set, we headed out and went for
lunch at Mc Donalds, which I had suggested because I felt really
guilty for spending away her money like that. We drove back
home, and dad had his friends over the house, they were
watching soccer and had beers on the table, yhoh sana.
Dad: "Hawu! You guys are back already?"
Yvonne: "Yup, and I am very tired so I'm going to take a nap
kancane nje."
Dad: "Hawu kodwa mkami bengi cabanga ukuthi uzofika la
ekhaya usphekele ukudla nabangani bami." And we both looked
at him, the audacity.
Yvonne: "I'm too tired for that." She said while walking up the
stairs.
Dad: "Lani, are you joining us?"
Me: "Who's us?"
Dad: "Hawu, mina namajita aibo!"
Me: "Whuu ha.a asoze, where's Mazwi and Sizwe?"
Dad: "They went to a friend's party?"
Me: "Oh, I'll just go rest by the pool on the grass though."
Dad: "Okay." I went to the kitchen, took yesterday's salad and
sat by the pool. It was hot, so I changed into shorts then went
back outside and read my novel while wearing my sunglasses by
the pool. I then heard someone clear their throat and I looked
back then took off my sunglasses because this person standing
in front of me looked so damn unreal! He is tall, brown-skinned,
he had plaits on but had a trim around his head, so the plaits are
basically in the middle of his head, he was wearing summer
shorts, a white vest and a summer shirt on top which was
unbuttoned and a Nike sneaker.
Me: "Uhm. Hi."
Him: "Yhoh, yhoh, yhoh! Waze wamuhle!"
Me: "Oh, uhm enkosi, are you one of Mazwi's friends?" He was
about to answer but dad walked towards us shouting out...
"Khaya, yingane yami leyo!" God damn....
Khaya: " Hawu, kumiwe kahle phela lana, buka izinqa zakhe!"
And he laughed.
Dad: "Eyi wena! Akukhulunywa njalo ngeyam ingane lomuntu is
not even 18 yet, let alone 16." And I giggled.
Me: "Hayibo tata-” I couldn't even finish my sentence then he
said...
Dad: "Usineka nabani? Khaya, this is my daughter Milani and
Lani this is Uncle Khaya, okay? UNCLE!"
Me: "Whatever I get it already." I said while I rolled my eyes and
sat down to carry on reading my book again.
19th January 2019...
The first day of school, nervous yet very happy at the same time,
I’ve been waiting for this day, and it felt like forever. In my white
shirt, blue blazer, checked pleated blue skirt with short white
socks and walkmates with my navy-blue shoulder bag, I left my
room.
Mazwi: “Hey, you are ready ngesiskhathi?”
Me: “Hayibo ixesha ngu 7am nje ngoku.”
Mazwi: “Yes and at summertime the school starts at 9am.”
Me: “I guess I’m not that late then.”
Mazwi: “Okay, if you say so.” He said while chewing on his
cornflakes and walking up the stairs.
I sat down and watched a documentary, seeing that no one else
was happy as I was. After some time, Yvonne came down the
stairs.
Yvonne: “Good morning my angel.”
Me: “Good morning maka Mazwi.”
Yvonne: “Ready for school?”
Me: “Yes, I’m so ready.” I said while smiling.
Yvonne: “Okay, let me prepare something for you , then I’ll go
back to bed.”
Me: “Wait... aren’t you taking us to school na?”
Yvonne: “No, your dad is, he’s still on leave and mina I still need
my beauty sleep.”
Me: “Oh, okay so where’s the rest of the family?” She gave me a
confused look.
Me: “Uncle Bhekisisa, Bandile, Bekumuzi, Thembi and you know
who...”
Yvonne: “Those people don’t live here.” She said while laughing
out loud...
Yvonne: “You really thought they lived here?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Yvonne: “Cha, Thembi and Bhekisisa live in Waterfall with their
daughter then Zoleka and Bekumuzi live eSowetho with one of
their daughters they had while married, and 2 of Zoleka’s before
they got married.”
Me: “Two kids before marriage and uncle Bhekisisa married her?
That’s crazy!” And we both laughed very loudly.
Me: “Are they even his kids though?” I asked while whispering...
Yvonne: “No, I don’t think so.” She whispered back while she
nodded her head, and I laughed loudly at that very moment.
Dad: “My 2 beautiful girls!” He said while walking down the
stairs.
Yvonne: “Goodmorning Phakathwayo!”
Dad: “Hawu, waze wangibiza kamnandi we Ma Cele, woza lala.”
And they started kissing and dad was holding her waist and she
giggled non-stop.
Me: “Gosh guys, get a room!” And they laughed while I covered
my eyes.
Yvonne: “Sizwe, Mazwi no man... come on guys.” They both
came running down the stairs with Sizwe needing help with his
tie and Mazwi carrying his school shoes in his hands, we went to
the car and dad drove us to school in his black Mercedes Benz,
and obviously I took the front seat while chewing the gum
Yvonne bought me yesterday.
Dad: “And we are here!”
Mazwi: “Baba please don’t do what you always do.”
Me: “And what is that?” I said while taking off my seatbelt.
Sizwe: “Oh no! He’s taking out his phone, guys run!” And Mazwi
went out of the car, I was so lost about what was going on until
Sizwe said...
Sizwe: “Milani, dad will take a picture of you in front of the whole
school, so you better get out of this car right now!” And I laughed
while getting out to take my bag from the boot.
Dad: “No guys listen, I just want a selfie this time around, okay?”
Us all: “Okay.” At least selfies were least embarrassing.
Dad: “Behave guys, and Lani, no boys please my baby I’m not
ready.” He was being so dramatic right now.
Sizwe: “Hayi ungakhathazeki baba, she’s in safe hands now, I
have eyes and ears everywhere inside this school.”
Me: “Inagthi uzondi dika wena ngoku, thank God it’s your last
year apha.” I rolled my eyes.
Mazwi: “Bye dad, see you afterschool.”
Dad: “Sure, ma bundle of joy ami.” And we all laughed.
The school looks like HEAVEN! I don’t know what heaven looks
like but this sure feels like it.
It has this red and black paving with a red carpet on top while
entering it, it has school secretaries offering some orange juice
in champagne glasses before going to class, and then moving on
to the field which was really huge, I’m sure rugby and soccer
players get to play here at the same time because it looked
bigger than my house. There are different races here at the same
time, we even have English people coming from England and
Thespians who are great, I haven’t seen Liyema yet but I’m
hoping to see him. Grade 8s and 9s get their own break while
grade 10s, 11s and 12s have their own. The teachers are so
young I can confidently say, they look younger than my own dad,
the netball players are so pretty and fit, there’s a French and
Italian class, each class has only 15 learners and whenever I
look around I just see people who have blazers full of badges, is
this what I have been missing out on? Magxaki high would die if
they saw this right now.
On my way to class I meet this gorgeous girl who is medium
height, curved, light-skinned, beautiful round eyes, has
cornrows on and make-up (I didn’t know it was allowed) who I
accidentally bumped into then spilled my orange juice all over
her uniform...
Her: “Watch where you’re going!”
Me: “I’m... I’m so sorry.”
Her: “Newbie?”
Me: “Yes, I just came here today.”
Her: “I’m Buhle, and you?”
Me: “Milani.”
Buhle: “Okay, Milani so which grade are you in?”
Me: “10.”
Buhle: “OMG, I’m finally having a black friend.” And she hugs
me.
Me: “Milani sounds better.”
Buhle: “Urghh whatever, ungumngani wami manje.” I laugh.
Buhle: “Which subjects do you do?”
Me: “I’m doing Biology, Physics, Pure math and IT.”
Buhle: “So I guess we’ll be having Math and Biology together, do
you have your timetable with you?”
Me: “No, I don’t”
Buhle: “Okay, so for our first period we’re having Biology then
you’ll figure out the rest ngokwakho, do you have a phone?”
Me: “No I don’t.”
Buhle: “Eh eh man farm girl, ask your rich dzadzy to get you a
phone.” She said while laughing.
We went to biology class together and damn...was the teacher
not hot as hell. Buhle had gone to the bathroom to fix herself.
In front of me was standing this breath-taking guy, who is tall,
brown skinned, brown eyes, a fade, in a navy suit with just a golf-
shirt underneath, who looked 19, he looks like a neat freak, even
his nails were glossy, damn....
The teacher: “I’m professor Twala and I’ll be teaching you guys
Biology for this year.” But that was the ugly part in all of this, did
he really have to be an educator? Buhle walks in and they make
such weird eye contact.
Professor Twala: “Buhle Zulu, how about you tell the class
where you just came from?” Hayibo, he knows her by name and
surname?
Buhle: “I had an emergency I had to attend, sorry Sir.”
Professor Twala: “No that’s okay, uh- newbie.” He said while
pointing at me and I could see he was trying to be funny.
Me: “It’s Milani Mxenge, my name is Milani Mxenge.”
Professor Twala: “Well, I’m sorry Milani, I was just trying to
crack a joke.”
Me: “By mocking me? Please do your job, I’m sure you’re not
here to mock any of the students.”
Professor Twala: “Okay then, please tell the class what a
Medulla Oblongata is.” Was all this necessary? Does he not
know what the grade 9s were taught?
Me: “It’s the bottom-most part of your brain, if you have one.”
And the class laughed very loud.
Professor Twala: “That is correct, but because of your attitude,
please do see me after school before leaving class.” I just sat
down because what is he going to discuss with me? So
handsome yet a total ass hole.
Buhle: “That was great, you really are so fucken smart.” She
whispered and I smiled.
The time is now 12:00pm and I have Physics, after that Biology
class, I had L.O (which was only 30mins) then AP English.
Our Physical Sciences teacher is an Asian woman, very unusual
right? Especially for a black child coming from the Eastern Cape.
She was teaching but everyone was falling asleep, the boy next
to me who is colored tapped on my shoulder then whispered...
The boy: “Don’t you wanna bunk this class? It’s boring as fuck.”
Oh, so swearing in this school is a norm.
Me: “Why you’re being such a total ass weirdo? I don’t even
know you.”
The boy: “Well, I’m Jake from the neverland Pirates!” He has
such a funny accent.
Me: “You are so crazy.” And I laughed.
The Teacher: Milani, you are making noise in my class.”
Me: “Oh uhm, I'm so sorry ma’am.”
The teacher: “Do you even know what my name is?” I felt like
shouting out a huge HELL NO!
Me: “Uh- Professor Jungi” And the class laughed.
The teacher: “I’m Professor Jung Jae-I, never forget that!” She
said while stomping her foot on this Marble floor, she was one
crazy bitch, and this was going to be such a long year with this
professor ban-ban.
It’s acting time! After spending my whole 2hours in that Physics
class with that woman, I finally found some rest. I’m inside the
theatre waiting for Buhle who said she’ll show up kodwa hasn’t, I
sit down. A white guy waves at me “come over here” what does
he want? Ade andibizele kwi stage esakhiwa ngumntu omnyama
nje. I walk over to him and he’s with 2 black girls and 1 which
seemed colored.
Me: “Uhm, hey.”
The guy: “Hey, I’m Darren, this is Ona, Mapula and Shiloh.
Me: “Great meeting you all, I’m Mila-” I couldn’t even finish my
sentence and they all said...
All of them: “We know who you are.” Hayibo, bandazelaphi
mna?
Me: “O-okay, but how do you guys know me?”
Mapula: “Your brother Sizwe is the popular rugby player who’s
got great physique and all that.”
Me: “Okay, but how do you guys know I’m related to him?”
Ona: “Oh darling, yhini ivari awuna cellphone?”
Mapula: “Mkhombise mngani.” Okay, are they always this
ghetto? Ona showed me this picture of me, dad, Mazwi and
Sizwe which we took on Christmas day and Sizwe had posted it
and not only that but the selfie we took this morning is also
trending on Briefly news of the school and the headline says
“Thespian Milani finally joins Crest Vest Academy, with her two
twin brothers who are experts in Rugby, Sizwe and Mazwi.”
Me: “Wow, I didn’t know this school had “BRIEFLY NEWS”
Shiloh: “Yup, and you got to be careful in everything that you
do.” I was still trying to understand what is happening in this
school because it sure seemed like Varsity life, but I then felt
hands covering my face I tried guessing and damn yeah it was
Buhle.
Me: “Yehake, ubuphi na wena?”
Buhle: “I’m so sorry, I had netball practice first.”
Me: “Mhm, I can tell by the outfit and sweat.”
Buhle: “Yhini indaba ungangi tshelanga ukuthi you’re related to
my crush?”
Me: “Crush?”
Buhle: “Yeah, I’ve been crushing on him since grade 8 bro.”
Me: “Does he even look at you?”
Ona: “Does he even know you exist or you’re just crushing for
mahala nje?” And they laughed.
Me: “Nisinekani?” Darren stands up to answer his phone call.
Me: “Buhle bra, I badly want to join netball.”
Buhle: “You should and we’re going on a camp this February and
guess what?!”
Me: “What??”
Buhle: “The rugby boys will be there, meaning I get to see your
brother every time I go out my room.”
Me: “So is it every time you guys go out nabo they also do?”
Buhle: “Not always, sometimes it’s the soccer boys.”
Me: “Mhmm, and the drama boys?” And she laughed as if I had
just cracked a huge joke.
Buhle: “Mhmmmm Mila, are you eyeing anyone?”
Me: “No, uh-uh, i mean...”
Buhle: “The drama boys aren’t even that hot, it’s the teacher
who I find hot here.”
Me: “Well, uyamazi uLiyema?”
Buhle: “Urghh you’re talking about that one? Ngiyamazi lowo
and his lame 2year relationship.” SHIT.
Me: “Oh, he’s dating.”
Buhle: “Oh no, I’m sorry.”
Me: “No, it’s okay I totally get it, he’s lame anyway.”
Buhle: “Did you guys have anything going on?”
Me: “He visited my brother Mazwi during the December holidays
and he’d compliment me like he’s a single ass.”
Buhle: “Urghh, he’s not worth it, he’s not even that pretty
anyway.” And I laughed. Darren sat down with a sad face.
Me: “Hayibo and then? What’s wrong Darren?”
Darren: “The drama Professor is not making it today, he’s not
feeling well.”
Buhle: “Gosh, did it have to be my favorite Professor though?”
Me: “I really needed something to cool my mind off after all the
knowledge I’ve been given today, Yoh!” And we all laughed.
Mapula: “You know what, I’ve got a better idea.”
All: “What?”
We walked to the back of the school and just sat down on that
beautiful green grass, I laid down diagonal while Buhle laid on
top of me.
Me: "Worse unuka umbilo bruh for what you're doing." And
everyone laughed.
Buhle: "Do you guys even understand what she just said or y’all
just laughing?"
Ona: "Hayibo akeri we understand mu girl."
Buhle: "Angithi Shiloh is white and so is Darren and wena no
Mapula are Sotho, so how the hell do you guys understand what
she just said?"
Ona: "And you are Zulu."
Buhle: "Yeah but angithi IsiZulu is similar to isiXhosa."
Ona: "We are one rainbow nation, so I don't really care what you
guys say." And we laughed.
Me: "Guys, it seems like I'm the only person in uniform, nonke
nje are in gym clothes."
Darren: "Why would you come to drama in uniform?” And they
laughed.
Me: "Was I supposed to wear something different?"
Mapula: "Very different."
Buhle: "We get clothes according to our roles in acting mngani."
Me: "Oh, do you guys think maybe the professor for drama will
be there tomorrow?"
Darren: "Oh hunny, we don't have drama class tomorrow."
Me: "Oh, okay." We were still chilling until Mapula took out weed
and a lighter.
Me: "Hayi wena, put that away!"
Ona: "Guys just act like we're not here, okay?"
Mapula: "Ja, akeri you guys are so good at acting? Mm-mm,
young thespians." And we all laughed, I wasn't bothered by them
smoking in front of me because I was never a fan of weed but the
only thing, I had a problem with was them smoking inside these
school premises.
Buhle: "Yoh, guys angeke nami I need a smoke shame."
Me: "Hayibo nawe na?"
Buhle: "Yes why not?"
Darren: "Milani, since everyone is smoking, do you want to try?"
Me: "My dad would kill me, let alone Sizwe. “And we laughed.
Buhle: "I'm sure he is more handsome when his angry." And we
laughed. Time had passed by without us even noticing, I was the
only one talking then realized later that I was just talking to
myself because everyone passed out. He is a medium height boy
with braces, a taper faded and brown-skinned who just stood
there and...
The boy: "Let me help you up." I was totally zoned out and
focusing on how pretty he looks, I couldn't hear a word coming
out of his mouth until some other boys started saying...
The other boys: "It smells like weed here bro, who has been
smoking?" I stood up ndizivhuthulula le ngca that was on my
uniform.
The boy: "Ndingu Siyolise mna bhabha, wena?"
Me: "Hey, yazi I totally zoned out, ndingu Milani mna."
Siyolise: "Hayibo ngumXhosa kanti lo umhle kangaka?"
Me: "Enkosi." And I giggled. The boy is quite charming.
Siyolise: "Ithi ndikususe lento." He said as he touched my hair
and removed the piece of grass as we made eye-contact.
Siyolise: "Are these your friends?"
Me: "Yeah I could say."
Siyolise: "Hayi man bhabha, umtsha wena apha, I can tell."
Me: "Yes, today is my first day."
Siyolise: "I'm glad you were not smoking weed. Can I have your
number real quick." He said as he took out his phone.
Me: "Oh, uhm...My phone is broken." Good thing my phone was
at home. He held my hand as he asked...
Siyolise: "Ungumni?"He said while putting his phone back into
his pocket.
Me: "Mambhele"
Siyolise: "Aww,Bhelekazi." That's exactly how my mom used to
call me. "Wenzani wena lapho?" We both looked to the other
side, and it was my brother carrying his bag.
Sizwe: "WeMilani yhini le oyenzayo? Uma nabafana manje?" He
said as he came closer.
Sizwe: "Who are all these passed out people huh? And wena
Siyolise angizange ngiku tshele ukuthi don't come near my little
sister?" And Siyolise just looked down.
Me: "You have no right to talk to him like that!"
Sizwe: "Oh, lale la ke wena Rambo, ubaba usimele lapha
ngaphandle, I spent my whole fucken’30 minutes looking for
someone who is holding hands with a boy and making very
strong eye-contact, and not only that but my little sister is
smoking weed on her first day." I just looked at him then looked
away.
Sizwe: "What? Cat got your tongue now? Well as I said dad is
waiting for your explanation of why you bunked these 2 very
important classes." OH SHIT, I FORGOT I HAD MATH AND IT
AFTER DRAMA, HOLY SHIT!! NDIZOTHINI KU TATA?!
Sizwe: "Hayibo, usamile lomuntu? Or yhini ufuna ngimtshele
ubaba the real reason why you were not in class?"
Me: "Sizwe no mamela, I can explain I-"
Sizwe: "Ntombazane! Go to the fucken car!" How does he expect
me to leave my passed-out friends out here? Uphambene na lo?
Me: "Can I at least wake them up?"
Sizwe: "Sheshisa phela, time is not on our side." He said as he
walked away and left me waking up Buhle and the rest, and then
I headed to the theatre fetching my bag then walked to the car, I
could feel dad's anger from a distance and then I...
Professor Twala: "Ms. Mxenge, I asked you to come to my class
before after school and you decided not to do that." He said
while he stood in front of me, giving me a hell of a fright.
Me: "Oh Sir, I'm really sorry but I've been through a lot in life you
know, and I-" Dad started hooting and Sizwe was waving and
shrugging his shoulders.
Professor Twala: "And you?"
Me: "I'll explain everything to you tomorrow sir, but I'm very
sorry, please come to my dad and just make up anything that
caused me to not be in class today, please?!" And he nodded as
we both walked to dad's car.
Dad: "Kanti yhini inkinga yakho Milani huh?" I looked at him then
looked down; I could see how angry he was from just looking in
his eyes.
Dad: "Heyi wena ngane ngikhuluma nawe! What on Earth made
you bunk 2 classes huh?!" He didn't even give Mr. Twala a
chance to speak.
Dad: "Milani ngibheke mangikuluma nawe wengane!" I started
shaking and tears were filling my eyes.
Me: "Tata I, I was-"
Professor Twala: "She was depressed."
Dad: "Huh? Uwubani wena manje?" Geez so the whole time he
never noticed someone this handsome standing right in front of
him?
Professor Twala: "I'm Professor Twala, Mr.Mxenge."
Dad: "Oh, ngiyaxolisa uvele walingana naye ncama shi, ngingu
Mr. Mthembu kodwa mina."
Professor Twala: "Okay Sir, the real reason why Milani was not in
class is because she had a panic attack during our biology
class."
Dad: "But why was the e-mail sent to me kodwa you guys knew
she had a panic attack?" Dad is so interrogative.
Professor Twala: "I'd like to apologise on behalf of my
colleagues who thought she was bunking class, she was with the
school therapist when they sent out the e-mails and when I told
them, the e-mails had already been sent out."
Dad: "Hayi ngiyakuzwa mnumzane, Lani my baby I'm sorry." He
said as he pulled me in for a hug. I was just glad I had gotten over
that drama, and I winked at Professor Twala as I got inside the
car and Sizwe was giving me the 'How were you able to pull that'
typpa look.
We arrived at home and Yvonne was making dinner.
Yvonne: "Welcome home my babies! How was school."
Me: "Amazing."
Yvonne: "Girl, give me the details!" And Sizwe rolled his eyes
Me: "I will, but not in front of the boys." And Mazwi laughed.
Dad: "Ngubani iboy?" And we all laughed.
I went upstairs and changed into my pink night gown, we were all
sitting down for dinner and watching a movie.
Dad: "Mkami." And Yvonne looked at him.
Yvonne: "Yebo Phakathwayo?"
Dad: "Milani had a panic attack today at school and was not able
to attend two of her classes, so I'd like us to arrange a therapist
for her."
Yvonne: "Oh my angel, usuright kodwa manje?" And I nodded.
Me: "I don't think I need one."
Dad: "Of course you do, having a panic attack at school and even
your teacher seeing ukuthi u depressed is on another level."
Me: "I just don't think opening up zizinto zam tata, maybe other
things can come as therapy apha kum."
Dad: "Things like what?"
Me: "Things like you buying me a phone tata and new
headphones."
Yvonne: "But you barely listen to music."
Mazwi: "Yeah and you told me how much you hate cellphones
ngoba you see no use in having it."
Me: "Well, I've changed my mind, everyone is able to change
their mind andithi? I love music now and besides having the
latest iPhone can really lighten up my mood, like it would heal
all my internal wounds immediately."
Sizwe: "Uyayibona ke manje lengane baba isingenwe yimi khuba
yase Crest Vest Academy?" I rolled my eyes.
Dad: "Lani, we'll go and buy them this weekend, okay?"
Yvonne: "Yazi, angisiboni nje mina isidingo sokuya eztolo when
we can always buy online."
Me: "Yayi!!" I screamed and gave them both hugs.

(Narrator)
Milani has gotten quite comfortable in her new home, but could
peer pressure be taking over her? Could Sizwe be right all along
or is he just being an overprotective big brother?
(Milani)
Settling just great in school and netball has been treating me
well and acting is the best thing I enjoy doing, especially taking
videos and pictures of our plays with my brand-new iPhone 7
Yvonne just bought me. It has been 4weeks of school and yet it
feels like I’ve been here for 4years. It’s the day before my netball
camp and I’m packing my clothes and all the essentials I’ll be
needing with Buhle on facetime.
Buhle: “Mngani kuzoba lit ngiyakutshela, like kuzoba manzi
phantsi!”
Me: “We both know awuyelanga netball mos wena phaya.”
Buhle: “Duh, of course ngiyela ubhuti wakho kodwa I enjoy
netball kakhulu futhi.”
Me: “Okay, okay, ndiyakuva ke.”
Buhle: “When are you going to the salon?”
Me: “Hayibo for what ngoku? I like my afro just like this.”
Buhle: “Urghh Mila come on now, you cannot be seriously going
on the biggest camp of the year with an afro, yhoh farm girl!”
Me: “Hayi wena, don’t call me that.”
Buhle; “Askies nhe chomi but I’ll send you some cornrows
styles, okay?”
Me: “Yeah, okay ke bye!”
Buhle: “Bye!” And I hung up.
I head downstairs to get something to eat, and Yvonne was
watching TV.
Me: “Goodmorning ma.”
Yvonne: “Morning sweetheart, breakfast is in the microwave.”
Me: “I’m not really hungry."
Yvonne: “Oh angel, are you still feeling sick? I think you should
cancel camp.” I had to lie about having a tummy bug today so I
could not go to school today and sort out everything I need for
the camp.
Me: “Nah, I’m okay, but don’t you feel like going out ne
namhlanje just a breath of fresh air and besides, I want to do my
hair so cela undise esalon.”
Yvonne: “I’ve been waiting for this question thank God, grab my
keys sihambe ke.” Seriously? Yet she hasn’t offered all this
time.
We drove to Rosebank mall with her playing RnB which I asked
her too, she seemed bored the whole time though, gosh liqaba
eli. After a few minutes we arrived and went to Sorbet Salon,
while the hairdresser was giving my hair a treatment before
plaiting, Yvonne was doing her mani & pedicure, I wanted to ask
her if I could do them too but was kind of scared. 50min and the
treatment was done, the hairdresser couldn’t do the style I
wanted so instead I did long black braids with curls at the end
and she put some silver hair rings which I asked for and just like
that we were done and Yvonne paid for everything and while she
was still doing her eyelashes I took her card and went to buy
myself Ice-cream and 30min later we were all set and done.

We came back home at 13:00 yet we left at 09:00. I couldn’t stop

taking pictures and posting myself on Instagram stories and
whatsapp.
Yvonne: “I’m sure the phone is tired manje, give it a break
uzodla.”
Me: “Yhoh uyazi I still don’t have an appetite.”
Yvonne: “Okay then.” I went upstairs to take a nap which felt like
a power nap on top of that and I woke up the next day, crazy how
no one checked up on me because I was still wearing the same
clothes and was freezing the whole night, inene indawo ka
mama iyavakala.
I woke up took a shower and brushed my teeth.Today is Friday,
I’m beyond ready for this camp.
Dad: “Sheshisa phela Lani soshiwa yiskhathi.”
Me: “Okay.” I wanted to attract all the boys in that rugby team
(well except my brothers of course.) so I took out my sexiest
dress, an orange & red tie dye sleeveless mini bodycon dress
with silver slides great thing I went shopping with Yvonne,
‘cause hell yeah, hot is an understatement. I left my braids
unties and put on my lip gloss and took some mirror pics and
selfies to post on my Instagram account, I grabbed my bags and
exited the room and bumped into Mazwi by mistake.
Me: “Oh, sorry.”
Mazwi: “Hawu, uzoqoka ingubo encane kanjena?!” He said while
popping his eyes out. Damn...it was my first time ever hearing
him speak a Zulu sentence without any English word.
Sizwe: “Woza ngibone.” Sizwe said and I walked down the stairs.
Sizwe: “Hawu ngeke, baba buka lokhu” He said while my dad
was still talking on the phone then turned around and his jaw
dropped.
Yvonne: “Kanti mina angiyi boni into erongi lana.”
Sizwe: “Kanjani mama? Uyazi ukuthi there are so many boys
who want her at school? Uyazi ukuthi my friends will lust after
her mazimbona, their gaze will be at her thighs the whole time.”
WOW.
Dad: “Let’s forget about the dress kancane nje, I didn’t know
Milani did her hair kanti ubungaguli yhini?”
Me: “Yes tata I was, but then your wife was a life saver and
bought me some medicine izolo and we went to the salon.”
Dad: “Kanti yini inkinga yakho Yvonne?”
Yvonne: “Sengenzeni mina ke manje?”
Dad: “How do you let a 15year old do lento ayenzile ekhanda?”
Me: “Hayibo tata, these are just braids, when I go back to
school, I’ll tie them up and remove the hair rings.”
Dad: “Ingubo yona?”
Yvonne: “But love, there’s nothing wrong with her dress,
absolutely nothing.”
Dad: “Ingubo yakhe incane Yvonne, kanti which part of that
don’t you understand?”
Me: “Is my dress really that short or you guys are just perverts?”
“HAAAAA” Dad, Mazwi & Sizwe said.
Sizwe: “Kanjani manje?”
Me: “Senditshukuba my dress isn’t even that short you guys are
just exaggerating it.”
Dad: “We’re just protecting you.”
Me: “Protecting me from what exactly? From the gents who will
catcall when I pass by? From gents who will think of intercourse
immediately when seeing me? From gents like you guys?
Because clearly nani niyazenza ezizinto y’all cannot be this
worried.”
Dad: “Cha, Lani we were just-”
Me: “Telling me how to dress? When Sizwe and Mazwi are
wearing their summer shorts and vests? Why must I be told what
to wear?”
Dad: “Hayike, siyaxolisa.”
Mazwi: “Yeah, uhm...sorry for judging you sis.” I nodded my
head.
Sizwe: “I hope I won’t be in court for a rape case, I’m not in the
mood for “all rise”. He said while laughing and we were all quiet.
Me: “Wow, awumangazi uyonyanyisa.” I said while pushing him
out of the way with my bags and got inside the car with them
following me.
Dad: “Ready to go?”
Me: “More than ready.” And we all laughed.
Dad drove us to school and the school bus was already there so
we said our goodbyes and took our bags and got inside the bus.
Buhle: “Ooooo chomza!”
Me: “Hey chomi!”
Buhle: “Iyhoh, yhoh, girl you slaying the look, waze wamuhle.”
Me: “Thank you so much friend.”
Buhle: “I missed you!”
Me: “Why are you being so dramatic? It was just for one 1-day
mos.”
Buhle: “Yesterday felt like a decade without you hey.” And we
both laughed. The rugby kids were singing amagwijo and all
African songs while others were listening to music and mna no
Buhle we were taking videos and pics non-stop nje.
Buhle: “Friend look, I just gained 500 more followers.”
Me: “Yes girl! That’s 10.K ngoku prouda you!”
Buhle: “Thank you chomza, I wish I had 20.k njengawe yazi.”
Me: “Mxm, hayi suka wethu.” And we laughed.
50 minutes later we arrived at Camp Zenith in Heidlberg, and the
place looked so stunning. The tour guide showed us around after
we got off the bus with our bags, I can’t believe I’ll be staying
here for 2weeks. The gents were separated from the girls, gosh
this almost feels like a boarding school, but ke they’re just being
extra careful. My roommates are Buhle, Mbali and Swadhinta
Mbali is cool, I doubt she cares about anyone or anything in life,
she just does whatever she wants to do whenever but then
Swadhinta is strictly Indian who just burnt sage when we arrived
and put 3 statues up her drawer apparently their her God, not
into Indian culture but who am I to judge? I’m not friends with
them, we’re classmates and we play netball together, but I have
nothing against them, totally.
After settling in we were called to go and eat lunch downstairs,
while Professor Twala and Professor Malaba gave out strict
instructions.
Professor Twala: “Girls, no one is allowed into the boys dorms
and vice versa, everyone should wake up on time or else you’ll
bathe with cold water, lights out at 8 and-” He couldn’t even
finish his sentence and the students all said...
Student: “Haaaa”
Alex: “At 8?” (One of the boys from the rugby team.)
Professor Twala: “Yes, you all heard me and it’s best you guys
put aways those phones because there’s no network here.”
Buhle: “What? We’re in the Bundus mos.”
Me: “Hayi icacile.” The fact that there is no network here is
beyond crazy, how the hell will my followers know where I’m at?
They’ll end up thinking I’m dead kaloku.
DAY 2 OF CAMP
Today we’re going hiking, I’m wearing my black sports bra with
short black leggings and my black sneakers, Buhle is wearing
her pink and black long leggings with its bra which was also pink
and white sneakers, we had to take some pics before going out,
good thing we have our water which we had put in the fridge last
night because it’s so damn hot today.
Buhle: “I miss ur drama friends.”
Me: “If Ona, Mapula, Darren and Shiloh were here we would’ve
turned this place into fire ngokungxamiseka nje!” And we both
laughed.
Me: ‘Hayi, next term, we have to convince them into joining
netball.”
Buhle: “Kanti mina ke angisiboni isidingo ngoba ngama June
holidays the drama club is going on a camp eDurban.”
Me: “Wait what? Are you being for real?”
Buhle: “Yes mngani, the e-mails were sent to the parents izolo.”
Me: “Hayibo but dad never mentioned that to me.”
Buhle: “He has probably forgotten, uyazi ukuthi your dad is
always busy.” Yeah maybe, because I doubt, he would not tell
me something this big.
We were now gathered all together and started hiking in Camp
Zenith hiking trail and the hike was so silent no one was talking it
felt like meditation. We reached the top then stopped, relieving
a big sigh of breath that I didn’t know I was holding in, then took
a sip from the cold water I had in my hands. We were given
snacks and towels to use while making a picnic with your
roommates and Professor Smith (Sports coach) was talking
about the importance of sport and that one day it could take you
places while me and Buhle were eating the snacks from our little
picnic like there’s no tomorrow, the sports teacher walked away
giving everyone some little time to enjoy the snacks. Liyema
walked over to us, and he looked at me straight in the eye, wow
now he knows I’m here kanti ebehleleleni angandi bulisi kwa?
Liyema: “Milani, can I have a word with you?”
Me: “Ndimamele.”
Liyema: “In a place more private, please?” I got up and we
walked over to the big tree which had shade.
Liyema: “How are you holding up?”
Me: “I’m good, great actually.”
Liyema: “Mhmm.” And he just looked straight into my eyes and
then came the awkward silence.
Me: “Liyema ubundibizelani ?”
Liyema: “Listen boo, I just wanted to apologize.”
Me: “For what?”
Liyema: “For leading you on kodwa I had a girlfriend.”
Me; “So you think complimenting me is leading on? I’ve never
had feelings for you mna, I see you as a friend, nothing more and
nothing less.” That was so not true, Liyema was the first guy in
Crest Vest I’ve ever had a crush on.
Liyema: “Lamntana, uSiyo, y’all have something going on?”
Me: “No, we just friends.”
Liyema: “Bhabha, there’s no need for you to lie, ndiyakwazi
kaloku mna, do you have feelings for the guy?”
Me: “Wow, so uyandazi mna? Wow.”
Liyema: “Okay not in that way, but do you have feelings for the
guy?”
Me: “Ndikuxelele nje ukuba he’s just a male friend and futhi,
why am I even explaining myself to you?”
Liyema: “Ngoba ndiyakuthanda Milani! Yeah, I said it! Finally,
the weight on my shoulders feels much lighter.”
Me: “Iyhoh, nantsi imeddie yakho.” He looked back and it was
his girlfriend Iminathi who was in denim shorts and a crop top,
really? How can you wear such an outfit for hiking? I didn’t
notice that everyone was looking in our direction, I started
noticing when his girlfriend came because my gaze was still in
his brown eyes.
Me: “Oh, uhm...that’s my cue to leave.”
Liyema: “But we’re not done here mos.” Wow, how could he say
such a thing in front of his girlfriend?
Iminathi: “Nice to meet you too girl, mna ke ndingu Iminathi,
Liyema’s girlfriend but you can call me Imi.” She said while
smirking, she’s also Xhosa?
Me: “Oh, I already know of you, later ntwana nhe.” I said while
giving Liyema a thumbs up. I could feel the stares Sizwe was
giving me, and he was fuming so I decided to just sit down and
talk to Buhle.
Later that day:
At the netball court we’re busy practicing for the big game
coming up when we go back to school, and I was still in the
clothes that I was in earlier on.
Coach: “Everyone, let’s take a quick break.”
Buhle: “Great, that means more selfies, asambe mngani.”
Me: “Yhoh ha.a Buhle we’ve been taking pics today and mna I’m
tired.”
Buhle: “Okay ke let’s go sit down.” We sat down and drank the
orange juice but got interrupted by Sizwe who came to me very
angry...
Sizwe: “Milani! Milani!”
Me: “Yintoni?” I asked while standing up.
Sizwe: “Get the fuck away from Liyema or you’ll get hurt.”
Me: “Huh? Uthini na wena?”
Sizwe: “Ngithi kuwena step away from him, uyajola lamuntu
kanti wena uzwa ngani? Yini indaba ufuna ukufeba ufane no
mawakho who stole ubaba from my mom?” And suddenly...my
mind went quiet; I could not hear a word he said but his lips kept
on moving non-stop.
Me: “Waze wayinja.” I said with tears rolling down my cheeks
and I ran to my dorm and threw myself on top of the bed. I am
sobbing while covering my face with this big white pillow.
Buhle: “Ngiyaxolisa mngani.”
Buhle: “He’s such a dog, why would he shout out such a thing?”
Buhle: “Come here.” She pulled me in for a hug.
Me: “I think it’s best if I go home uyabo?” My sobs were getting
louder.
Buhle: “Ain’t no way uzohanjiswa ngumfana lana mngani, he’s
not worth it angeke.”
Me: “Buhle he swore my mom ngobufebe bakhe in front of the
people I play netball with, ucingba bazondi jonga njani mna
bantu when half the school believes ukuba we all have the same
mom?”
Buhle: “Forget about people, forget about the whole school
mngani, in this room it’s just me and you, and remember it’s
always gonna be me & you against the world, okay?” She said
while pulling out her pinky.
Me: “Okay.” And we pink promised.
Buhle: “So I won’t let a rascal ruin what we’re having just
because he is insecure that wena you have better genes than
his.” And we both laughed. How I love how she always lightens
up my mood.

It has been 2 weeks since we've been here, and the experience
has been amazing thus far. Tomorrow is our last day and we're
going swimming but before that we'll be doing a few exercises.
I'm lying on this beautiful green grass after having the most
exhausting netball exercise and Buhle comes to me smiling, I sit
up straight and look at her beautiful brown round eyes. Her
facial expression suddenly changes, and she looks down and
says...
Buhle: "There's something I want to tell you."
Me: "What's up?" I asked while taking a sip of my water from my
pink water bottle.
Buhle: "Angazi how you'll take this mngani but your brother is a
rapist, he-"
Me: "Yima, uthini? Which brother?" I asked while choking on my
water.
Buhle: "Uyayibona langane that doesn't speak a lot?”She said
while pointing at Mbali's direction.
Me: "But that's our rommate mos, when did this happen and
which brother are you talking about?"
Buhle: "Sizwe, apparently they were at a party, and he took
advantage of her." I couldn't believe my ears.
Buhle: "I've even lost feelings for him, like mngani come to think
of it I had a crush on a rapist."
Me: "Hayi man, Buhle are you sure ngalento uyithethayo? I mean
Sizwe yi hit apha eskolweni and every girl would die to be with
him, why would he take advantage of her?" I hated myself for
saying that, but this didn't seem like istyle sika Sizwe tuu.
Buhle: "How can you even ask me that Milani? I thought you
were a girl's girl, yazi angikukholelwa."
Me: "No chomi, that's not what I mean---"' I couldn't even finish
talking, and she cut me by saying...
Buhle: "What you mean is that she staged everything that
happened that night? That she was the one who forced herself
ku bhuti wakho or yhini you're defending a bastard who always
treats you like trash whenever you're around him?"
Me: "That's not what I mean, obviously I'd want him to go to jail if
he did any of this."
Buhle: "And then manje silindeni?" Does she expect me to go
and open a case against my brother? She cannot be serious.
Buhle: "Hawu phela ngiyabuza."
Me: "I don't know, I guess I need to talk to her first."
Buhle: "Okay, let me go take a quick shower ke mngani ngizoku
bona.” I was in a tight position, but I wanted to talk to Mbali
about everything before approaching my brother because what if
he actually did this and he's planning on denying everything,
then that would make me hate myself for life. Changed into my
leopard 2piece swimsuit with its skirt lace and went to sit by the
pool.
Buhle: "Hayibo awungeni?"
Me: "Yhooo ha.a chomi, you can go inside I'll just chill out here."
Buhle: "Hayike ingane that is used to soft life shame." She said
while laughing out loud and I made a funny face.
I've been missing Siyo lately, wondering what he's doing and
how he's doing at Crest Vest without me, we literally spend
almost every break together even Buhle gets irritated
sometimes and ends up hanging up with Ona and friends. Great
thing he does soccer instead of rugby because it would've
caused a lot of commotion between him and Liyema.
Buhle: "So wena uzohlala nje lapho and continue taking pics?"
Me: "Yeah, and the good thing is that the network is back, so I get
to post every single moment."
Buhle: "I'll post when I get home mina shame, awu ngeke." I
laughed.
Me: "Let me go to the cafeteria." I said and she nodded. On my
way to the cafeteria, I see Liyema walking with his friends, and
he looks at me.
Liyema: "Hey you."
Me: "Hi."
Liyema: "Going to the cafeteria?"
Me: "Yeah."
Liyema: "Let me accompany you princess." He said while
holding my hand. The silence during the walk was getting too
loud and I broke it by saying...
Me: "My palms are sweaty, so can we please not hold hands?" I
said while removing my hand from his. We get to the cafeteria,
and I get myself a bubblegum ice-cream and turned to him at he
was already looking straight into my eye, it felt like he was ready
to give me a kiss already....
Me: "Uhm...do you want anything?" He kept on staring at me,
and his gaze moved to my lips then to my eyes again it seemed
like he was analyzing me...
Liyema: "Milani umhle." AWKWARD.
Me: "Oh, uhm...enkosi."
Liyema: "I just want you to always know how beautiful you are, I
don't want you to feel like I'm forcing myself to you but I really
like you Milani, and I can no longer hide it, the more I look into
those deep dark brown eyes of yours I fall even deeper , my
world has lightened up since the day the day I met you,
usisibane sam sobumnyama, uyinkwenkwezi eibhakabhakeni
zobunzulu zobusuku, your energy is forever 100%, you lift spirits
up and nje just by looking at you from a distance uyaqakaza nje.”
Did he forget he's dating, and not just dating, he's in a 2year
relationship.
Me: "Uhm...enkosi kakhulu I appreciate it, but I didn't expect
those words to come from you." I was avoiding the high sexual
tension which was between the both of us.
Liyema: "Were you expecting these kind of words from Siyolise
maybe?"
Me: "Yeah, or maybe Buhle."
Liyema: "Bendikhe ndayiqonda, indlela le omthanda ngayo lo
Siyo it's like you're under his spell or something you're
completley whipped Milani." I rolled my eyes.
Me: "That's not true, I take Siyo as my male best friend and I've
always taken him as one, but you? You Liyema? I fell for you
ngala birthday ye brothers zam in December and that was the
first time I saw you."
Liyema: "And you said nothing."
Me: "I tried, I tried kakhulu futhi but I felt trapped, I went to
school hoping that you would be the first person I'd see, hoping
that you'd be the first person to show me around the school
before the tutor even does and all to find out the guy I had fallen
for is in a fucken 2 year relationship, like who does that? And
yes, you led me on Liyema, I felt so led on then dropped like a
hot potato so when Siyo comes and gives me what you failed to
give me sube undixoxisa, I don't belong to you and vice versa."
Liyema: "But I want you to belong to me, I want us to belong to
each other, I'm sure you feel something here too, I can't be the
only one feeling it."
Me: "Of course I feel something, I've felt something from day one
and I still do, and I think I will always do, but I'll never lower my
standards because of love."
Liyema: "What do you mean by lowering your standards?"
Me: "You're someone's person Liyema, so it would never work
out even if we tried, home-wrecking isn't my style."
Liyema: "Iza apha bhabha." He said, while grabbing my waist and
hugged me, somehow his hug felt homely, it felt as if the whole
world had stopped, and he looked straight into my eyes, I felt a
kiss was coming but were distracted by a whistle, and I looked
back, and it was Professor Twala.
Professor Twala: "Dear love birds, how would you feel if your
parents got updates on what you guys get up to during camps?"
Me: "I'm sorry Sir, but it was just a friendly hug I promise."
Professor Twala: "Okay." And he walked away.
Me: "Listen, I must go."
Liyema: "Uhm... Yeah, nam kuzomela ndihambile, bye Mila."
Me: "Bye." Saying bye to him without the sentence 'I love you'
was honestly annoying.
In my room with Buhle, Mbali and Swadhinta and I'm telling them
all about today and the chemistry, sexual tension and attraction
I have towards Liyema, while packing our clothes, this honestly
is the best camp I've ever been too (Opps I forgot there weren't
any camp at my previous school.)

The next morning, I woke up and freshened up while the rest did
so too, today I'm wearing my camouflage knee-length shorts
with a white tight crop-top and my white ankle converse. While
Buhle was wearing her black tight dress and pink slides. I tied
my braids up and carried my suitcases and everyone was
already seated for breakfast, and we sat down and joined them
while taking some pics and there was laughter everywhere. We
walked to the bus and Professor Twala stopped me when I was
on my way there, blocking my way with this arm he said...
Professor Twala: "You do know, dating isn't tolerated here,
right?"
Me: "What do you mean Sir?"
Professor Twala: "Angisona islima, yes I'm 23 but that doesn't
make me your age mate, so please nami I deserve some
respect." WOW, he's only 23? And what was he on about?
Professor Twala: "Ngiyathemba ukuthi sizwene nkosazana,
dating isn't tolerated here futhi ke there'll always be
consequences." The only thing I could hear were delusions
playing in my head, his lips were moving but I couldn't hear a
word he said, he is so majestic.
Professor Twala: "Milani uyangizwa?" He’s sexier when trying to
be strict.
Me: "Oh, shit uhm... sorry Sir-" I couldn't even finish, and he cut
me by saying...
Professor Twala: "Call me Sbu or Sibusiso, 'Sir' is too
professional." I couldn't believe my ears, was his name Sibusiso
all this time? I didn't know he was this fun, I thought he was
always uptight. I passed and went to the bus and sat down,
leaving my luggage with him after he said he'll put it inside the
bus for me, what a gentleman. Buhle had passed out and the
boys were singing amagwijo just like when we were still going to
camp and I'm looking over the window and suddenly felt a tap on
my shoulder I looked back, and it was Mazwi...
Me: "Hey." I said while smiling.
Mazwi: "Sis, can I join you."
Me: "Of course." He sat down and we started catching up and
laughing a lot, then he asked me a question...
Mazwi: "Can I ask you a question? "
Me: "Yeah, anything."
Mazwi: "You promise you'll not get angry or freak out?" He said
while pulling out a pinky, he knew how seriously I took pinky
promises.
Me: "I promise." I pulled out a pinky too.
Mazwi: "What's happening between you and Siyo?"
Me: "Hayibo ubuzondibuza lonto qha? He's my male bestie." I
said while laughing.
Mazwi: "There's more, then what about Liyema? And please be
completely honest."
Me: "But he's your friend nje, kutheni ungambuzi ngokwakho?"
Mazwi: "Whenever I ask him about you guys, he changes the
topic or just starts to compliment you non-stop, and he'd get
away with it." Complimenting me non-stop is beyond crazy.
Me: "Iyhoh hayi angade andi ncome non-stop, but as far as I'm
concerned, we're just friends but he obviously wanted more
than that, but I told him ukuba I can't give him that because
andithi usajola yena.
Mazwi: "At least little sister still has some brains, keep it up
man." And we both laughed out loud. We didn't even notice that
an hour had passed by, and we were already at the school gate
and dad's Benz was already waiting on us and he was balancing
with one arm on it with shades on, drinking his Play, gosh my dad
is such a charmer now I see what mom saw. I took my luggage
off the bus and said my goodbyes to Buhle and my other
roommates.
Sibusiso: "Goodbye."
Me: "Uhm...goodbye sir."
Sibusiso: "No hugs? And ngikutshelile 'Sir' sounds too
professional." I looked into his light brown eyes which looked
even prettier in the sun, I leaned in for a hug as he looked at me
from head to toe, almost felt like he was analyzing me. He then
gave me the longest hug, as I smelt his great-smelling cologne,
he looked at me then turned his gaze to my body, for a moment,
it felt like no one was there, everything went quiet the moment
his gaze moved to my eyes then to my lips and he leaned in for a
hug, his hands around my waist then he said...
Sibusiso: "Waze wamuhle nkosazana." He whispered in my ear.
Me: "Thank you." I said with a smile. My dad started waving and I
walked towards him, Mazwi and Sizwe were already packing
their stuff into the car.
Dad: "You seem too close with your biology teacher...Professor
bani manje lamuntu?" I wasn't focusing on dad but instead on
Liyema who was walking towards us.
Liyema: "Molweni, can I have a word with you?" He said while
looking at me.
Me: "Ha.a, siyaleqa so maybe some other time?"
Dad: "Kanti kulungile Lani, we can wait for you." WEIRD.
Me: "Hayibo tata, uqinisekile?"
Dad: "Yeah it's okay." And Mazwi groaned while getting inside
the car, probably irritated wanting to get home.
I walked with Liyema, lending him an ear.
Me: "What's up?"
Liyema: "Kwenzeka ntoni phakathi kwakho nala mjita?
Me: "Ungakulinge kemnake undiphambanele, I owe you no
explanation."
Liyema: "No you do, yes, you do Milani."
Me: Mamela apha bhutiza, I owe you absolutely nothing, you
don't deserve information about my love life." And he just
smirked.
Me: "Unyuba ntoni?"
Liyema: "I want you to know my smile belongs to you, my day
just got brighter nje ngo thetha nawe, I wanted to make you
upset, I enjoy watching you shouting, you remind me of my
mom."
Me: "But we can always talk like normal people, right? Akho
need yayo yonke lento."
Liyema: "Yewethu Milani, ndifuna wena mna, I want you and you
only."
Me: "Then it should be simple, xa undifuna kutheni ungohlukani
no Iminathi so we can both belong to each other? " He came
closer and gave me a hug.
Me: "Hayi mfondini utata usibukele, bhekela." I said while
pulling away.
Liyema: "Bendifuna nje ukuba wazi lonto, I deeply like you."
Me: "Then do something about it, because if you don't, others
will." I said while folding my arms.
Me: "Kuzomela ndihambile, it's rude to keep my dad waiting." I
said while I walked to my dad's car and the mood was so tense, I
sat at the front seat and put my seatbelt in and dad looked
pissed let alone Sizwe, but Mazwi looked tired.

A FEW HOURS LATER ....

We arrived here at 17:00 and the time now is 20:00, I'm in my

room and chatting with Buhle who is begging me to come to the
party that's happening tomorrow at Darren's place, first of all I
don't know how I'll ask my parents and secondly I don't think
dad will let me go no matter what the approach is.... "Dinner is
ready Mila" Yvonne shouted and I walked downstairs with my
headphones on, I sat down and was about to eat when dad
snatched them from my ears, I stood up in shock.
Me: "Hayibo tata!" I exclaimed.
Dad: "Yhini, are these things making you go crazy? Usukhuluma
nabafana phambi kwami manje Milani? Yini awungiboni manje?"
What is he talking about?
Me: "Tata uthetha ngantoni?"
Sizwe: "About you hugging a boy so intimately in front of him, us
infact and hugging a teacher like that?"
Me: "Liyema? We're just friends."
Dad: "Uyazini, give me your phone, ngizoyi thatha because
clearly you're losing focus, awuzwa man!"
Me: "Hayi tata, you can't take my phone!" I screamed.
Dad: "Imagine ulala nomuntu who's old enough to be your
brother! Sies uyanyanyisa!"
Me: "I take him as a teacher I promise dad." I said while crying,
and he took off his belt and came towards me beating me up and
I was crying, crying and crying and Yvonne was trying to stop
him, but he was unstoppable.
Me: "Xolo tata!" I said while crying uncontrollably so.
Yvonne: "Bonginkosi dedel'ingane man!" She screamed and he
finally let me go. Sizwe was just continuing eating like nothing
happened, and Mazwi was in his room probably playing one of
his video games, so loud that he's not able to hear anything
happening downstairs. I was sobbing and sobbing then looked at
my dad and said...
Me: "You remind me of my mother's abusive boyfriend, the way
he used to beat her up and everything nje." I said while sobbing.
Me: "I hate you!!!!"' I shouted, ran back to my room and locked it.
I was crying and thinking about my mom, maybe if she was here,
I wouldn't feel like an outcast maybe if mama was here, I'd feel
loved, I'd feel loved without putting in any efforts, in times like
these I wish Buhle was right next to me.
THE NEXT DAY.

Dad still has my phone, or should I say Bonginkosi still has my

phone? They were all knocking non-stop all night at my door and
begging me to come out. Well, my eyes are pink, I have eye-bags
and my body aches, all thanks to Bonginkosi. Today is Saturday
and the weather is stunning outside, so I'm wearing my black
leggings and pink loose top and sneakers and went out for a jog,
while I was walking down the stairs everyone was seated for
breakfast and I passed them like they didn't exist.
Mazwi: "Sis, aren't you sitting down for breakfast?" I just looked
at him and walked past him. The jog is so enjoyable, I stopped at
a nearby petrol station to take a break and I see this guy walking
towards me, he looked familiar, so I went closer to him, and it
was Sibusiso. He smiled at me, and I threw a smile back.
Sibusiso: "Your eyes remind me of stars, whenever I look at you,
I feel like a sky that needs your eyes." I looked down and smiled.
He came closer and lifted my chin up, butterflies were rising
from the bottom of my stomach.
Sibusiso: "Wena, uyi nkanyezi yami, my star." I smiled.
Me: "Were you jogging?" I asked.
Sibusiso: "Yes, gotta stay fit." I nod.
Sibusiso: "Do you jog every day?"
Me: "No, uhm...I just wanted to take something off my mind." He
nods while looking straight into my eyes.
Sibusiso: "I need your phone number."
Me: "I'll give you my Instagram instead." I wanted to give him my
number so bad but my phone is with dad so I don't want him
seeing my messages.
Sibusiso: "Whatever the princess feels like doing." And I smiled.
He is such a gentleman.
Sibusiso: "Want ice-cream?"
Me: "Yeah, sure." He bought me ice-cream because I had no
money with me and started talking about everything, he is the
first person I ever opened up to about my mother's death. We
were sitting at a bench in a park when he said...
Sibusiso: "It's a feeling I can't explain."
Me: "What?" I asked.
Sibusiso: "What I'm feeling towards you Milani, you feel like
home, somehow, I always feel some type of disgust whenever I
see you with Siyo or Liyema." This sounded like music to my
ears.
Sibusiso: “I’d watch you answer all these questions in class, I’d
watch you smile or laugh whenever you’re with your friends,
those deadly stares I used to give you Milani was me adoring
you, you’re beautiful in every way, from head to those beautiful
toes of yours, you deserve to be treated to with love and respect
and I doubt boys would ever give you that, you deserve way
better.” He said with a smile on his face.
Me: “Can I trust you?” I said while smiling.
Sibusiso: “Of course you can.” He said while lifting my chin up
and looking at me, our moment was disturbed by his phone
ringing, and he stood up to answer it then whispered, ‘it’s work.’
‘okay’ I whispered back and waved at him while smiling then I
jogged back home.
I got home and Yvonne was washing the dishes while dad and
the boys were watching soccer. I went inside the kitchen and
poured myself water.
Yvonne: “Someone is all smitten what’s up.”
Me: “Let’s just say some people do love and value me.” I said
while whistling and drinking my water.
Yvonne: “Hayibo I do love and value you mina.”
Me: “Yes I know but I’m talking about other people besides you
and Mazwi.” And Mazwi looked back to face me and smiled, and
my smile became even bigger.
Me: “Let me go and change.”
Yvonne: “Sure.” I walked past the lounge and dad stood up and
held the wrist and I pulled away.
Dad: “Lani, ngiyaxolisa nganeyami.” I looked at him and said
nothing, he could pick up some signs that I was disgusted by
him.
Me: “Uyaxolisa?” He nodded.
Me: “For what exactly? For the fact that you beat me up for
nothing izolo, for the fact that you took my phone for no reason,
for the fact that you reminded me of my step father who beat
mom to death or for the fact wena no Sizwe every time you get
you guys compare me to my mother’s past? I hate begging for
your love Bonginkosi, I hate feeling like an outcast kulendlu and
the only people who have ever shown me genuine love ever
since I arrived here were Mazwi and his mom. And wena Sizwe I
don’t know what I ever did to you ude undihlaze at camp? Saying
I’m a whore just like my mom? Well let me tell you both
something, I hate being here, nam I want to go home, nam I wish
mom was also alive, nam I find it so hard living here without her
and nam sometimes I wish I could just die like she did and hang
myself like my best friend did. I hate that Sizwe as my brother
you hate me so much yet you’re a rapist and I hate it so much
that my own dad hates me this much and goes around thinking
ukuba mna I’m sleeping with my biology teacher, well, thank you
guys for showing me how unwelcomed I am here because soon,
and I mean very soon, I’ll move out of here.” I said with tears
rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably and I pulled my arm away
from dad’s hands and walked away with the biggest sob. I was in
my room for hours and hours crying non-stop and Mazwi
knocked at my door and I let him in. The minute I opened the
door he jumped at me and gave me the longest hug while I was
crying and crying and crying.
Mazwi: “Ngiyaxolisa sisi wami.” He said while I was still crying in
his arms.
Mazwi: “I’m sorry, okay?” He said while wiping tears from my
puffy eyes. But, I couldn’t stop crying, my tears were constantly
filling my eyes and he handed me a tissue.
Mazwi: “Let me go make you sugar water.” He said. He came
back with a glass of sugar water and handed it to me and I drank
it.
Me: “I’m just tired bro.” Ndatsho ngesinqala.
Mazwi: “I understand, big bro understnads, come here.” He said
as he pulled me in for another hug.
Me: “You never spoke about your best friend and how you lost
your mom.”
Me: “I don’t wanna talk about it.” I said while my tears fell on the
pillow I held.
Me: “I sometimes wish I could’ve done something to stop it you
know? Both their deaths, I feel like I have a hand in them.” I said
while staring into place.
Mazwi: “No sisi wami, no you don’t!” He said while he pulled me
and gave me a hug.
Me: “Yes I do! Tell me why I said nothing when my mother was
being abused? Tell me why I never told my mother’s best friend
that Yamihle was constantly raped by her uncle almost every
single night? Tell me why Mazwi Tell me why!” I said while
screaming my lungs out and crying.
Me: “I’m a mess bhuti, I’m a mess.”
Mazwi: “Well then, I guess you’re my mess now, I love you so
much little sister, okay?” He said as I was shaking my head
repeatedly.
Me: “I’ll never get through it.” I said and layed on my bed and
covered myself with blankets.
Mazwi: “What time is Darren’s party starting?” And suddenly my
mood lightened.
Me: “I’m not sure and it’s not like ndizovunyelwa mos anyway.”
Mazwi: “Who said you need his permission? He’s going to some
sort of trip he’ll be back next week Friday; I think that’s what he
wanted to tell you.” THIS WAS MUSIC TO MY EARS.
Me: “And your mom?”
Mazwi: “Mom is a deep sleeper so no need to worry about her
and who owes Sizwe an explanation?” I laughed, he’s such a
mood lifter.
Mazwi: “So, wena dade wethu, I’ll go get your phone so you can
go out and have some fun with your friends, I’m sure Buhle has
been trying to get ahold of you with her round eyes.”
Me: “Not you analyzing her eyes.” I said while laughing.
Mazwi: “I love seeing yours light up, my role as a big brother is to
make sure you smile all the time and making sure that no one
ever takes that smile away from your pretty face.”
Me: “I love you so much bhuti.”
Mazwi: “I love you more.” He said and gave me a hug.
Wearing my tight red dress with red heels on, letting my long
braids untied, my pink lipstick and make-up with a black sling
bag and my vanilla scent perfume I left my room, but went back
again to pack my sneakers just in case I get tired. Everyone was
asleep so Mazwi pretended like he was locking the gate, and I
went out whispering a ‘thank you’ in his ear and my uber was
already outside so I was headed to Darren’s house in Midrand.
A few minutes later I was already outside the house, and it was
lit, there were disco lights everywhere and the music was so
loud even before I came out of the car, I got out, good thing
Mazwi already paid for it. And Buhle was already standing
outside the gate waiting for me in her pink sleeveless short tight
dress and rainbow heels and she screamed the moment she saw
me.
Buhle: “Girl, I thought you weren’t coming!” She said while
giving me a hug.
Me: “Yewena sana, ndishiywe lixesha, but we’ll talk about it
some other time wethu, where’s Darren? I wanna wish him a
happy birthday already.
Buhle: “Yeah, let’s go inside.” We went inside and there was this
huge pink jumping castle with many kids from school inside it
and the meat was being braaied and beverages were all over the
place.
Me: “Kanti ayo sweet 16 nale tshomi? Ifuna ntoni apha i jumping
castle?”
Buhle: “Uthe he wanted his day to be wild and ke we cannot stop
him.”
Me: “I mean it’s his day after all.” We were still talking and
Darren walked out of the house in his most-dramatic LGBTQIA
long dress and rainbow make-up, he looked stunning and Shiloh
was holding the dress.
Me: “Happy fuckin’ birthday baby!”
Darren: “Ooooh friend come give me a hug!” I went over to him
and gave him the longest hug.
Buhle: “A whole 16year old! Bitches my best friend is 16 okay!”
And we made a toast and started taking pictures and videos.
Ona: “What do you drink?” she asked while looking at me.
Me: “A cider is fine I don’t want anything strong.”
Darren: “Not during my birthday honey, we’re all having shots
first.”
Me: “Okay, because it’s your birthday, I’ll do it.”
Mapula: “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” Mapula said while Shiloh
came to us with a tray full of shots and we started drinking and
toasting.
00:00, good music, good vibe and the party has turned into a
pool party which is crazier, we were screaming happy birthday
every 2 seconds and Buhle was taking shots after shots while
mna I was on my beverages.
Darren: “Let’s jump inside the pool.”
Everyone: “OKAY!” We all held hands and jumped inside the
pool with our full clothes on and ‘Akanamali’ by Samthing
Soweto was playing on the big speakers next to the jumping
castle. I don’t think I’ve felt this much joy ever since I moved to
Joburg, this party was a blast and I didn’t care about people I left
at home, infact, I wasn’t even planning on going home.
Mapula: “Let’s turn this into something more fun.” Mapula said
while taking a sip from her Savanna.
Buhle: “Senzeni?” she asked while soaking the water from her
dress.
Mapula: “Like go to a club or something.”
Me: “Now that’s insane.”
Darren: “Actually you know what? Going to a club at my birthday
wouldn’t be so bad.”
Ona: “I agree with you Darren.”
Shiloh: “What more do you guys want? We have food, alcohol
and the vibe is here.”
Me: “Exactly, nizokwenzakala estratweni.”
Ona: “Hayisuka, asambeni guys.” And as stubborn as they were,
they dragged us to a club in Waterfall and the time was 02:00am,
we were dancing, drinking, vibing non-stop after leaving a ton of
people at Darren’s party and decided to start another one here
in this club.
Buhle: “Who knows I might get a husband here today.” And we
all laughed. And as always Ona is the photographer and video
shooter of the group, so she did the shooting of videos and
pictures of us vibing to “WORK” by Rihanna. I went to the bar to
buy more ice and ‘your love’ by Azana was playing. I felt these
warm hands touch my waist, I looked back, and it was Sibusiso,
why i he all over? But I enjoy seeing his face every time though. I
turn to the front again and he whispers in my ear ‘Why are you
wet, awugodoli yhini?’ I turned to look at him and his cologne
scent mixed with alcohol were the only thing talking to me,
which was a great smell to me.
Me: “I’m not really feeling cold, I got inside the pool at my
friend's house.”
Sibusiso: “Hawu, who threw eyami inkanyezi in the pool?” He
said coming closer. I couldn’t answer him, somehow whenever
he gets this close to me my knees get weak and I start to stutter
so instead of answering I just look into his light brown eyes.
Sibusiso: “Woza la.” He whispered. I came closer to him, and he
leaned in for a hug and it was a very intimate hug.
Me: “You smell nice.” I said while still hugging him.
Sibusiso: “So do you.” He said while pulling back and smiling at
me. I carried on looking at him and my butterflies were rising
from the bottom of my stomach and my heart wanting to pop
out.
Sibusiso: “Umuhle uyezwa? Never forget that.”
Me: “Thank you.” I said while smiling. He touched my chin and
then moved his one hand to my waist then the one to my neck
we started kissing, I started kissing his warm soft lips slowly and
slowly and slowly. His one hand was on my waist then moved to
my butt and he started groaning.... “You guys need a more
private place” That was definitely dad’s voice, I looked back,
and it was really him my heart dropped to the floor, was he not
going away on some trip with work na and coming back next
week?
Me: “Tata I can explain....I uh-”
Dad: “Yeyi wena yini le uyenza nengane yami huh?” He punched
Sibusiso.
Dad: “You know you can lose your job for sleeping with your
student?!” He was fuming and started beating up Sibusiso who
obviously fought back.
Me: “Tata, please let me explain!” He didn’t listen, he just
carried on fighting with Sbu.
Sibusiso: “This is a con-sexual relationship, ucabanga ukuthi
mina ngifana nenedodana yakho who takes advantage of girls?”
And dad stopped beating him up, was the rumor of Sizwe rapping
Mbali true? Why did dad immediately stop when Sbu brought
this up and not fight him? Was dad feeling guilty? A lot of
questions were going through my mind, but I felt his cold hands
grabbing my arm and he was shouting at how careless and
wreck less I am.
Dad: “Ngena phakathi!” He shouted then pushed me inside his
car. And everything went blank, those were the last words I
heard him say.

A sore neck, an aching back, and this light shining so hard in my

eyes. I wake up and I was laying upside down on my bed and
Yvonne, dad, uncle Bandile and Mazwi were staring at me. I sit
up straight holding my neck.
Me: “Good morning to you too family.”
Yvonne: “Oh no, darling it’s not a good morning, not a good one
at all.”
Me: “Mazwi cela amanzi, I have this huge headache.”
Bandile: “Yi bhabhalaza ke leyo, Milani why we’re you drinking?
Umncane kanje? What on earth were you thinking? Do you know
how unsafe it is for women out there?”
Me: “Do you know why it’s unsafe phandl’apha?”
Bandile: “Why?”
Me: “Because this world is full of evil boys like Sizwe.” And they
all looked at each other while I stood up and went downstairs to
pour myself water.
Sizwe: “Ubukephi izolo ebsuku?”
Me: “Not that it’s any of your business mos.”
Sizwe: “It is my business, my little sister coming back home
from the clubs at 6am hawu chaa phela.”
Me: “Yewethu mntana ndini, andingo sis’wakho mna and what I
do with my life has absolutely nothing to do with you so back off,
respectfully.” He stood there with his mouth wide open
probably in disbelief that I just stuttered those words to his face,
I was sick and tired of him.
I went to my bathroom and took a quick shower then wore my
denim shorts and a black crop-top with white sandals/slides.
Dad: “Young lady, where do you think you’re going?”
Me: “Um...to Buhle’s house obviously.”
Yvonne: “Please sit down, we want to talk to you.”
Me: “I’m not interested sorry.” And I left. Inside my cab on my
way to Sandton City to buy a few make-up essentials, great thing
I have a monthly allowance now. I arrived and the first thing I did
was heading to the ice-cream shop and bought myself some
bubblegum flavored ice-cream, while I was still at it I got a dm
from Sibusiso saying he is sorry if he took advantage of me last
night and that he wanted to apologise face to face just for me to
see how sincerely he is. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong’ I replied,
he then asked if we could have lunch together, he’s heading to
Sandton City; I was beyond overjoyed. ‘Sure, meet me by the ice-
cream truck’ I replied, and he hearted my message. I was
messaging Buhle and busy telling her about how hard I’m falling
for my teacher, imagine, my own teacher, it’s a bit embarrassing
to say but nonetheless, the guy is 23 and looks his age so I don’t
see why that should be a problem. I jumped from the bench I
was seated on the moment I felt hands tickle me.
Sibusiso: “Wathuka kanje nkanyezi.” He said while laughing. He
is wearing black jeans and a polo neck with a denim jacket on
top. VERY HANDSOME.
Me: “You startled me.” I said while laughing.
Sibusiso: “Ice-cream seems to have gotten your heart,
especially this flavor.”
Me: “Yeah uhm...but any way what have you been up to?”
Sibusiso: “Nothing much, just referencing so yeah.”
Me: “Hayibo so awuzohlala phantsi?”
Sibusiso: “Hell no, our first date was an Ice-cream date, and you
want the 2nd one to be it too?” I didn’t know he took la venting
session at the park with ice-cream as a first date, but ke hearing
him say that was music to my ears.
Me: “Okay ke, where do you want to go?”
Sibusiso: “Angazi nami but how about a restaurant not an ice-
cream truck?”
Me: “Wow I feel insulted.” And we both giggled.
50min later we finally found the place, after going up and down
the mall we sat down at Second Story restaurant, and I ordered
some pasta with white wine while he had his ribs with fries and a
beer.
Sibusiso: “So tell me more about yourself.”
Me: “Ugh I hate this question but I’m going to answer it since
inguwe ke.” And he looked at me then laughed.
Me: “I’m a bubbly person, I’m very adventurous and I’m big on
loyalty, trust and honesty, I just love an honest person,
amamenemene andiwathandisisi ncam.” He put his glass down
then looked into my eyes and said...
Sibusiso: “How I love the way you speak your mother tongue.”
And I laughed...
Me: “Nyani? Enkosi.” I said while covering my mouth from all the
blushing.
Sibusiso: “Well mina, I’m big on family, I’m a family guy and
yeah, I’m scared of heights, the dark and I enjoy cuddles.”
Me: “Ungade ube big on cuddles, how long have you been
single?” I asked while giggling.
Sibusiso: “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Me: “I would.” I said while taking a sip from my white wine.
Sibusiso: “4 years.”
Me: “Now that’s crazy, you know umna I’ve been single for just a
year.”
Sibusiso: “For real? You move on too fast wena.”
Me: “Not that I had a choice man, he moved on, so I had to do
the same thing after being dumped on my birthday cabanga.”
Sibusiso: “Uyabheda loyomfana, infact give me his address so
we can deliver our wedding pics at his doorstep.”
Me: “Hayi uyaphambana wena.” I said while laughing.
Sibusiso: “So when is your birthday?”
Me: “April 16th, and yours?”
Sibusiso: “April 18th.” He said while chuckling.
Me: “Now that’s beyond crazy.” I said while still in shock.
Sibusiso: “Woza lana mama.” He said while standing uo to give
me a hug and I stood up and leaned into his English Blazer
cologne scent and he hugged me then said ‘I never knew a
match this good’ I giggled and then he pulled away and looked
into my eyes while still holding my waist and said...
Sibusiso: “Umuhle mama uyezwa?” Indlela athethangayo
makes me want to marry him right now.
Me: “Ndiyabulela vha.”
Sibusiso: “Ndiyabulela is ngiyabonga angithi?” I nod while he
bursts into laughter.
Sibusiso: “Yo, you should teach me more about the Xhosa
culture, I’ve always found it fascinating anyway.”
Me: “My Xhosa people would be stunned right now; you hardly
find Zulus loving amaXhosa.”
Sibusiso: “Hawu, what makes them not like amaXhosa, when
you guys are this beautiful?”
Me: “Lonto uyasazi.” And he laughed as we sat down and I
checked the time and it was 14:00.
The waiter came through and I took my wallet out ready to pay
when he said...
Sibusiso: “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it.”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Sibusiso: “Of course, it’s alright nkanyezi.”
Me: “Okay.” I said while smiling.
He paid the bill, and we exited the restaurant.
Me: “Can we buy some ice-cream before we leave?”
Sibusiso: “Okay.” I went to the truck and brought 2 ice-creams
for him and myself.
Sibusiso: “You already know my favorite flavor?”
Me: “Yes, and why is vanilla your favorite flavor anyway?”
Sibusiso: “Dad used to buy it for me whenever we went up so I
grew fond of the flavor so much that when he passed on I had it
during his funeral.” I nod.
Me: “Sorry for your loss.”
Sibusiso: “You’ve never told me why bubblegum is your
favorite.”
Me: “Well, well, I used to have it almost every after school with
my best friend, Yamihle, somehow, it always takes the pain
away, whenever she felt heartbroken we’d walk to the shop and
buy a bucket of bubblegum ice-cream. And when she died, a part
of me went with her but whenever I’m having this I always think
of the fun times we had.”
Sibusiso: “She sounds sweet.”
Me: “Yeah, she was also very beautiful, she doesn’t deserve
what happened to her.” I said while looking down.
Sibusiso: “What happened?” he asked while shifting closer to
me.
Me: “She hung herself.” He gasped then gave me a hug.
Sibusiso: “You’re so strong I want you to know that okay?”
Me: “Well I try.” He leaned in for a hug and stood up and I did too
then gave him a hug.
Sibusiso: “When did all of this happened?”
Me: “Last of last year December, 16 December.”
Sibusiso: “I’m sorry, and condolences.” He said while hugging
me. He feels like home, I feel accepted and loved whenever I’m
with him. I forget about my pain and loss whenever I see him, he
feels like a therapist, he is a God-sent.
Me: “I have to get home so I’ll call a cab.”
Sibusiso: “I can always drop you off.”
Me: “Okay ke.” I said while chuckling. I got inside his beautiful
grey Porche and he dropped me safely at home and I had to give
him my number after he begged for it all the way here.
A FEW MONTHS LATER.
It’s the end of term one and today is an award-giving-ceremony,
I’m quite confident that I’m getting at least 5 awards. Term 1 was
such an easy term and dad promised to be here today. ‘Where
are you? The awards are about to start.’ I sent the text to dad
after 30min of waiting for him outside. ‘I’m no longer coming,
held up in a meeting sorry.’ The audacity. But I went inside and
was called to the stage and received awards in Math pure,
Physics, Biology, English and a medal in drama. Too bad I got
nothing for netball, I guess I’ll try harder this term. Buhle got
awards in Math pure, Life Science and Accounting.
Mazwi: “Hey sis, I’m so proud of you.”
Me: “Thank you so much, what did you get?”
Mazwi: “Just Economics and English.”
Me: “I’m proud, and Sizwe?”
Mazwi: “He got a cup for rugby only.”
Me: “Sports only?” I said while chuckling and not that I was
being mean, but he has been treating me like trash ever since I
got here.
Mazwi: “Yes.” He said while laughing.
I went to the office to collect my badges then headed home with
a cab; good thing today is the last day of school.
There were cars parked outside and I noticed Siyanda’s car was
there too, so I walked in, and the family was having a feast sana.
Siyanda: “Milani! Congratulations baby.”
Me: “Uhm, hi to you too stranger.” I went to the kitchen and
greeted Yvonne.
Yvonne: “Your marks looked so great, carry on the great work
mntanami.”
Me: “Thank you.” I said while smiling. I went to my room and
changed into a pink mini-skirt with its pink tight crop-top and
white sneakers then left my braids hanging and went out.
Mazwi: “Going somewhere?”
Me: “Yeah, to Buhle.”
Mazwi: “Okay.”
Dad: “But we’re having a little family reunion, why are you
leaving?”
Me: “Uh, because I’m not fake.”
Zoleka: “Fake? What do you mean by that?”
Me: “I cannot sit here ndisineke with a bunch of fake people.”
Siyanda: “Okay, so now we’re fake.”
Me: “Worse wena, you Siyanda, do you remember what you told
me ngoku wena no tata were fetching me? Well let me remind
you, you said you’d always be there for me, you said you’d help
me get through my loss, but the minute we arrived here the first
thing you did was go to your fiancé, you never called me nor
visited so you tell me if that isn’t fake.”
Bandile: “That’s not how you talk to your elders wena ngane.”
Me: “And it would’ve been better if my uncles came to support
me when I was burying my own mother, but you guys didn’t.”
Sizwe: “Stop!”
Me: “A rapist won’t tell me what to do.” And they all gasped.
Me: “Why uthula? So, it’s true that you took advantage of Mbali
when she was drunk and when she wanted to report you, your
dad paid her to shut up right? Imagine my own father?!”
Yvonne: “Mntanami please don’t-”
Me: “And ndisatsho nangoku, Yvonne and Mazwi were the only
people apha kulendlu who showed me true love and affection.”
And I slammed the door as I exited.
I’m going to an amusement park with Buhle today, and it is our
last day of school, so I wanted to make sure it’s fun. I arrive and
see her standing with cotton candy in her hands.
Me: “Hey you!” I shouted while walking towards her.
Buhle: “Hey late comer.” She said. She is wearing white jeans
and a pink crop-top, I bought myself some candy too and we did
some of the activities there while taking pics, which was way too
fun.
Buhle: “Those pictures really have to go on Instagram.”
Me: “I know right, bro they insane.” I said while laughing.
Buhle: “So, how are things between you and... you know who.” I
smiled.
Me: “Great, on my side everything is good but um...obviously I’m
trying not to fall too hard so yeah.”
Buhle: “Girl you already fell hard, like you fell kakhulu futhi.”
And we both laughed. After a couple of minutes, we left the
amusement park and went to Buhle’s house, and his dad was
praying, typical pastor from the burbs.
Buhle: “Hey, let me go grab some snacks, okay?”
Me: “Okay!” My eyes were busy wondering while waiting on
Buhle but then something caught my attention, it was a necklace
which looked exactly like the one I had on and this necklace is
what Sbu bought me, this was a bit confusing.
Buhle: “I’m back with the snacks and I-” She froze when she saw
the necklace in my hands.
Me: “What is this?”
Buhle: “A necklace.” She chuckled.
Me: “A necklace with my boyfriend’s initials, a necklace that
looks exactly like mine, so do you mind explaining?”
Buhle: “He must’ve bought it where I bought it.”
Me: “Buhle I’m not dumb, you know me very well to be thinking
I’ll let shit like this slide, what the fuck is going on between you
and my man?!”
Buhle: “Hey listen, I can explain okay.” I folded my arms and
continued looking at her.
Buhle: “We used to date.” Urg.
Me: “Oh my gosh I knew it.” I said while groaning.
Buhle: “Wait..how did you know?”
Me: “Because the first day of school he knew you by your name
and surname when we had to introduced ourselves and you hate
the man so much but nonetheless, you always tell me he’s a
fuckboy.”
Buhle: “But that’s not enough information to know that we were
once together.”
Me: “Urgh have you forgotten? You know his favorite color is
blue, you know his shoe size and how much he loves meat, and
that’s too much information for a sophomore student to know
about a senior educator.”
Buhle: “Fuck it you’re clever.”
Me: “Yup, very much yeah.” And we both chuckled.
Me: “So how long did you guys date?”
Buhle: “6months.”
Me: "Wait, what? I can’t believe this guy, like that’s not what he
told me, uthe kum tshomi lamntu he has been single for 4years,
like I’m not believing my ears right now.”
Buhle: “Well, it’s a good thing you haven’t slept with him.”
Me: “I’m not planning to anu time soon yazi, like imagine giving
away my virginity to a pathological liar like him.” I said while still
in disbelief and shock.
Me: “So what caused the break-up?”
Buhle: “Rumors, which turned out to be true, he’d always
manipulate me you know, like the guy is such a narccissist, he’d
say things like ‘If you don’t think we’re compatible then let’s end
things’ and he knows that I’d say ‘ooh I’m sorry love for not
believing you when you said you were in love with me, let’s fix
things’ and he’d get angry whenever I brought up the rumors I’ve
been hearing about him cheating.”
Me: “Wow, that’s just too much info, but why didn’t you tell me
all this before I even fell for the guy?”
Buhle: “Because I was protecting you.”
Me: “That’s not an excuse, if you really wanted to protect me you
should’ve saved me the heartache before the relationship even
started.”
Buhle: “Okay, maybe that isn’t an excuse, but I wanted to just
give him a chance, I wanted him to prove how he can be in a
relationship without controlling, manipulating and just loving
you. I wanna see you happy sis, and he made you happy, makes
you happy.” She held my hands.
Me: “I hope he has really changed because why on earth did, he
not tell me all this? Why did I have to hear it from you?”
Buhle: “Great thing you’re meeting up with him later, all your
questions shall be answered.” She said with a smile on her face
Me: “Yeah um...this is a text from him saying he’s outside, bye
tshomi.”
Buhle: “Love you tots!” She shouted.
I got inside the car and greeted him.
Me: “So, where are we having lunch?”
Sbu: “Well, I figured my house?”
Me: “Why?”
Sbu: “Because you promised to teach me how to cook.”
Me: “Yeah but I just didn’t think it would be this soon.” He
smirked.
30mins later.
Sbu: “Love are you okay? You been chopping those onions uzozi
nqaml’umnwe phela.” He said while taking a sip from his beer.
Me: “Why are you like this?” I said while looking back to face
him.
Sbu: “Nginjani nkanyezi?”
Me: “I’m sure sonke usibiza nkanyezi.”
Sbu: “Bro, what are you on about?”
Me: “Ubusy apha nyanyezi nyanyezi rhaa.”
Sbu: “Hayi Milani ukhuluma ngani?”
Me: “Why didn’t you tell me you dated my best friend?”
Sbu: “Why didn’t she tell you?”
Me: “Well ta-da, she did and no, if it was not for the necklace
that’s a twin to this one (I pointed at my necklace) maybe I
wouldn’t have found out.”
Sbu: “Wow.”
Me: “Too bad I thought you were any better, you’re just the rest
aren’t you?”
Sbu: “You haven’t even given me a chance yet.”
Me: “You don’t deserve a chance with me, you have mistreated
Buhle for far too long and to even think I thought you were a real
man, someone who’d not break my heart, well at least you know
how to lie.” I said while tears rolled down my cheeks.
Sbu: “Nkanyezi I’d never lie to you; I meant every single word
that I said to you that-”
Me: “No you didn’t, you told me your last relationship was
4years ago, like were you not dating my best friend 6months
ago? Why uli menemene nje?” Tears filled up my eyes.
Sbu: “Me and Buhle were never serious, we both wanted
different things, she was a ‘party-all-week’ kinda girl and mina I
was a ‘stay-at-home boyfriend’, we came from different worlds,
and nothing worked out for us, I tried but still.”
Me: “Ayi lanto, so wena oko wawuyizama for 6months?
Uyakwazi mos wena ukuzama, and if you tried sticking with her,
then why all the cheating?”
Sbu: “Because I wanted the satisfaction.” I rolled my eyes.
Sbu: “No don’t roll your eyes at me, I'm being serious here,
uBuhle I liked her, but it came to a point where we were both not
feeling it and decided to drop it. What I feel here, is special
Milani, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this typpa way with any girl
before, and whenever I talk about family and having kids, I see
how your face lights up, sthandwa sami you’re the typpa girl I’d
take home to meet uma noo bhuti bami, even now you’re not in
some club, you’re in my kitchen, teaching me how to cook.” I
smiled.
Sbu: “Isn’t this enough proof to know that I have changed? I’m a
changed man and I promise to be a better man alright?” I nod.
Sbu: “Come here.” I give him a hug and plant a baby kiss on his
warm soft lips. We play maskandi songs after he has convinced
me how great they sound then he took the dance floor showing
me traditional Zulu dance moves then started calling my clan
names.
Sbu: "Woza lana mama." Oh, how I love hearing him call me that.
I stood up and joined him for a dance.
Sbu: "Hawu thina abako Twala sesiyamnkela inkanyezi yakwa
Bhele, ngiyakuthanda nkosazana.” It felt too soon to hear him
say those words and before I could answer he pulled me very
close to his chest and said.
Sbu: "You don't have to answer that, it was a statement not a
question my star." He said while smiling. I was smitten, smiling
from ear to ear, never knew a love so good. We sat down to eat
the food tasted so good he couldn't stop complimenting my
cooking.
Sbu: "So you're into poetry?" He asked while taking a sip from
his red wine.
Me: "Yup!"
Sbu: "Then charm me."
Me: "I'll charm you when Ifeel like it." I said while giggling.
Sbu: "Hayike, whatever the princess feels like doing." He
chuckled.

3 months later.

Dad: "If we want to start all over again then you'll need to start
therapy Milani." I couldn't answer instead tears were rolling
down my cheeks uncontrollably.
Dad: "She's with us in spirit." And I made the biggest sob. I've
been having multiple breakdowns, missing my mom and hoping
that one day she'll come back.
Me: "It hurts tata." I said while staring into space.
Me: "The fact that I'll never go back to Magxaki, it hurts that I
have no one to go back home to, it hurts that you guys cut my
contact with Sibusiso because he was the only person who
made me forget about the pain, at least for a day, his morning
texts always made my day and somehow, he felt like home. His
never-ending baby stories and his good maskandi music made
me forget about what I was going through, and yet you removed
him from my life. Yintoni le undifuna yona kangaka tata huh?!" I
asked full of rage and eyes full of tears.
Dad: "I just want what's best for you, I know what boys want and
he definitely doesn't purely love you."
Me: "Yet I have met all his 7 brothers? Yet he has opened up
about his loss?"
Dad: "That doesn't mean he loves you."
Me: "He does, he does because he listens to me, he doesn't let
me stay in my room without communicating, he gets it tata, he
gets me because he knows what it feels like losing a parent." I
said while looking back to face him and cried while sitting on
this cold floor.
Yvonne is 2 months pregnant, and I want to be there for her just
like she was there for me. So today I'm accompanying her to the
baby store, wearing my nude long body-con dress and leopard
printed double buckles with a black sling bag I left the room. We
headed to the mall and started shopping then I was looking at
the baby clothes when Yvonne said...
Yvonne: "I have a surprise for you."
Me: "What is that?"
Yvonne: "Turn around." And it was Sbu standing with a bouquet
of Tulips in his hands. I jumped on him and gave my man the
longest hug ever and started crying.
Me: "Thank you so much ma." I said while tears rolled down my
cheeks then looked at Sbu and hugged him again. This didn't feel
real.
Sbu: "I'm here now princess." He said while wiping my tears.
Me: "I love you so much." I said while planting a baby kiss on his
lips that were warm as ever.
Yvonne: "Let me leave you to it lovebirds."
Me: "Akazothetha utata?"
Yvonne: "Don't worry I covered for you, ngithe you're going on a
weekend away with Buhle so don't sleep over at Sbu's please."
Me: "Okay." Yvonne walked out of the store and left Sbu saying...
Sbu: "Let's go home." With a smile on his face.
We got at his apartment and as romantic as he is, he set out a
picnic by the pool, we sat down and started catching up and me
letting him know about how edgy things have been at home, with
dad having a 16 year old daughter and wants to take her mom as
a second wife, khange ndiyazi ukuba utata ebesisbethi kanje.
And he started telling me how depressed he was with me not
being next to him and his brothers were starting to ask questions
about my absence and he had to lie because if he told them my
dad went to threaten him at his place and forced him to delete
everything that linked to me he would've been dead by now. But
overall, we conquered it all and I was glad that my favorite
person was right next to me.
Sbu: "Wanna play some maskandi?" he asked while smiling.
Me: "I missed hearing those words come out of your mouth." I
said while laughing.
Sbu: "And I missed hearing your laugh and seeing you smile." He
said while eating his strawberry. Well, the good thing about this
holiday was that I was over and done with June exams and my
man is back but the bad part about it was that it was cold as hell,
and it meant no clubs this season, I guess.
Sbu: "So how did you spend your birthday?"
Me: "In bed."
Sbu: "Hawu, nkanyezi?"
Me: "Yup."
Sbu: "Who spends their 16th birthday in bed?"
Me: "Me." I said while giggling.
Sbu: "Why though?"
Me: "Because you were part of the plans and I thought you had
left my life for good."
Sbu: "We have to celebrate it ke, where do you want it to be."
Me: "At some club."
Sbu: "Darren 2.0" And we both laughed as we high fived.
Me: "How did you spend yours?"
Sbu: "The gents made me braai and we had a few drinks."
Me: "Mhmm."
3hours later...
Good music, good food, good beverages and the best boyfriend
in the whole world. Dancing to the newly released song by
Naakmusiq 'Ntombi’ as he slowly turned me around and looked
into my eyes as I looked into his, and his one hand was on my
neck and the other on my waist. I moved closer to him as 'All of
me' by John legend was playing, one thing about Sibusiso is that
he connected well with music, he knows when to kiss me and
when to do the first move while the music was playing on his
loudspeaker and instead of kissing me, he said....
Sbu: "You're so beautiful, I can't get over it." I smiled, very
smitten that I couldn't throw a simple 'thank you.' Is this what
love feels like? Because if it is then I don't want this feeling to
end.
Sbu: "Umuhle nkanyezi, even words cannot describe lobubuhle
bakho, umuhle mama uyezwa?"
Me: "Yebo baba." I said while giggling.
Sbu: "Uyabona ke manje kuthi mangiku lobole nje." I laughed.
Sbu: "I'm fighting the urge to send cattle over to your home
nkosikazi." I smiled. When he calls me nkosikazi engandi
lobolanga, kuthi mandithathe imithwalo yam ndiyohlala
kowabo.
Sbu: "Ngiyakuthanda uyezwa? I don't want this to ever end, I see
us having kids one day and taking you to KZN, showing you
where I grew up and my mom finally meeting the girl who stole
my heart." I smiled. My cheeks were sore from all the smiling,
but it was all worth it right?
Me: "I love you more sthandwa sam." We kissed, a very deep and
passionate kiss, as he gave me endless neck kisses. I felt like
making love to the man I loved this very moment, then had me
saying...
Me: "Sbu, I think I'm ready."
Sbu: "No, you're not." He said as he poured me wine and handed
it over.
Me: "I am, I swear." I said while sipping this white wine.
Sbu: "When a person is ready, you see by actions you don't tell
tales."
Me: "Whuu hehake." I rolled my eyes.
Sbu: "For now, let's just cuddle and don't roll your eyes at me."
Me: "Mxm." And we cuddled while listening to 'Cater 2 U' by
Destiny's child with me in his sweater, having popcorn and wine
busy reminiscing about the good times we had.
Sbu: "Have you seen the time?"
Me: "Ngubani?"
Sbu: "22:00, you still going to Buhle's house?"
Me: "I don't feel like it, ndizoya ekseni but early though."
Sbu: "Okay." He said as he ripped off his shirt exposing his fine
abs and started kissing me, lifting my one leg and came in
between them then looked into my eyes and gave me neck
kisses while I moaned like there was no tomorrow.
Sbu: "I haven't even touched you yet kodwa you're already
moaning like this?" He said laughing. And I rolled my eyes and
moved away from him away.
Sbu: "Uyintwe engafundeki inyakanyaka, kodwa ngashela kahle
nami, uyisphala phala." He said while looking at me.
Me: "Ngizophelela kini ngiyafunga" And he laughed.
Sbu: "I didn't know you were this fluent in Zulu."
Me: "I live in a house surrounded by a bunch of Zulus, what do
you expect?" We laughed.
Sbu: "Woza mama ngiqamule." I leaned in and gave him the
longest French kiss.
Me: "I feel like standing on top of the roof and shouting
'Lentsizw'ingiwinile." I said while laughing.
Sbu: "Hawu, mawungi mamathekisa kangaka manje mama?" I
smiled.
Sbu: "I thought I liked seeing you smile, well, I loved more seeing
you mad."
Me: "Hayi uyaphambana wena." I laughed.

2 years later.
And as they say, happy wife, happy life, looking like a wife in my
sparkly mermaid beige Dubai evening dress beading crystals
formal prom gown, with Sibusiso next to me in his beige tuxedo
jacket vest pant. We went inside his Porche and drove to prom.
Sparkles everywhere, my best friend Buhle in her Ruffle Ruched
stretchy bodycon Satin dress with High Slit she looked so
beautiful.
Buhle: "You look so beautiful chomi." She smiled.
Me: "You look breathtaking." I said while we smiled and we all
got inside, her partner was my brother and as much as I hated
seeing my best friend date my brother, I had to accept it and the
better part was that she was dating Mazwi, the more
affectionate brother, they both deserved each other.
We danced to 'nights like these' by Kehlani and started making
speeches, we drank and took shots non-stop. Darren's partner
was Shiloh and Ona was with her boyfriend and so was Mapula.
This was the night we all have been waiting for these past few
weeks, and I was grateful seeing everyone who welcomed me
with open arms in Crest Vest gathered here.
Buhle: "Mngani it's your turn to do a speech."
Me: "Yoh hayi, you know how much social anxiety I have Buhle,
so maybe next time?"
Darren: "Bitch, are you crazy? There ain't no next time."
Sbu: "Yeah babe, prom only comes once." And they all started
shouting 'speech, speech, speech!' So, I had to go on stage and
make a speech as Professor Jung Jae-I handed the mic over to
me.
Me: "Firstly, I'd like to thank Buhle who welcomed me in Crest
Vest, the first person who showed me around the school then
became my sister, I love you bestie boomba, and secondly I'd
like to thank my drama crew, Darren, Shiloh, Ona and Mapula,
you guys have made Crest Vest Academy feel like home for me
and a special thank you to all my teachers who supported me
academically and Professor Thys who would put me back into
my lane whenever I lost focus, and a special thank you to my
therapist, Professor Laurent, the only teacher who'd tell me 'call
me Jasmine man, Professor sounds too professional' so, ma'am
Jasmine, I appreciate you for putting your sweat and tears when
it came to my life, you made sure I was always okay mentally
and emotionally. And to this very special person Professor
Sibusiso Twala, or should I say my love? (they laughed) I came
here thinking ndizofunda but little did I know Crest Vest
Academy would give me a soulmate? I truly appreciate you my
love and I'd hate to make this show about us but to the Crest
Vest community, I'd like to thank you guys for never judging my
love story with Sbu, and lastly, this was the most draining year, I
hope those sleepless nights, cross nights and endless
breakdowns pay off in my results, thank you so much."
Jasmine: "Oh darling, we know how bright you are, they will
definitely pay off." And everyone laughed as I walked down the
stage and sat down.
Sbu: "That was good." He gave me a baby kiss on my lips.
Buhle: "Good is an understatement, you were excellent bestie!"
And we did our handshake as she gave me a hug.
Darren: "Let's go take some pics guys." We headed outside to
take some pics and videos, had to let my 100K followers how
great my prom was. This has to be the best day in my life ever,
this was the day me and my mom ever spoke about, besides my
graduation and wedding day of course.
'UNWRITTEN' by Natasha Bedingfield played and everyone
started singing and dancing, this was my comfort song, and
everything felt magical, this was a dream come true, my dream
man next to me, my favorite brother next to my best friend who
feels like a sister, well it almost felt like a crazy double date until
the rest joined us and we made a large circle as we span around.
'A night to be remembered' was my caption to my prom post.
It's the 16th of December and I'm going to an all-white party in
Soweto, I've never been to Soweto, and going there was part of
my bucket list so a part of me is glad I'll be there with Buhle.
Woken up by these little hands that were rubbing my face, it's
Lwandle, he does this every morning, I open my eyes and he
smiles, too precious just like his mom. I take him downstairs
and Yvonne was siping her wine chilled as ever...
Yvonne: "Oh no, don't tell me he woke you up again."
Me: "As always, let me go take a shower."
Yvonne: "Okay."
The house has been empty without Mazwi around, but I'm glad
he visits here and there but him studying law in London has left
this huge emptiness in the house but at least Yvonne gets to
chill with the boys not around and dad always at work, Sizwe is
currently studying Sports Science in Stellenbosch university,
the love he has for sport is too much that he is an official
member of the rugby springboks as a scrum-half, dad couldn't
be more proud of the world cup they won last year (2019), he
calls here and there and also visits I'm just glad we've made
peace.
I'm wearing my white body suit and white cargo pants and Nike
all white sneaker, with my make-up fly and weave on flick with a
black small bag which could only fit my phone and card only, I
was ready to go and the car was already outside Buhle, Darren,
Ona, Mapula and Shiloh were in this grey Haval H1 and
shouting...
Ona: "Iyoh mugirl hurry up we wanna roam the streets of
Soweto!"
Me: "COMING!" I ran out and jumped inside the car.
Mapula: "Wait, why are you and Buhle wearing the same?"
Me: "Oh, we planned it."
Ona: "And didn't include us? Okay."
Me: "Hayibo you guys didn't go shopping with us and it's not like
sonke we're into the same style."
Buhle: "For instance, do you all have cargo pants and body
suits? No, you guys don't."
Me: "And Shiloh is wearing a jersey to a party not even a jacket,
khawuve." And they laughed.
Shiloh: My love, this is a Dior jersey, not just a jersey."
Me: "Oksalayo yi jersey." And she laughed. We drove to Soweto; I
was so excited to experience impilo ye kasi lase Joburg.
Buhle: "It's crazy that you and Sbu haven't been intimate."
Ona: "He must be having blue balls right now." And they
laughed.
Me: "Well, serves him right, he's the one who has been saying
I'm not ready."
Mapula: "He probably thought you guys were gonna have it on
prom night."
Me: "Phew what dreamer." And we all laughed.
A few minutes later, we reached our destination and was the
party not packed but full, we got out of the car and 'nomayini' but
Kwesta was playing so loud, we got inside with a lot of stares, I
could feel them from the back of my head but regardless, we're
here for fun. Tequilas, Vodkas and ciders everywhere, I've alway
wanted to experience a party like this one. We took pics and
videos and were dancing non-stop.
Me: "Hayi ingoma yam!"
Buhle: "Yebo, yebo, young little nigga from the ghetto, ghetto!"
She said as we held hands and jumped up and down singing
Kwesta's lyrics from word to word. And Ona shaking her ass on
top of the table, Shiloh taking pictures and Darren taking shots.
This was starting to be fun.
Mapula: "Hayi lana ziyawaaaa!"
Me: "Nibiz' abo rhata!" And Buhle was also shaking her ass and
because I saw everyone doing it, I decided to join. I didn't know
Soweto parties were 'mind-your-own-business' because
everyone did what they felt like was right without stares.
'One time' by K.O was playing and me and my girls were seated
down to eat but still moving while seated, I love every moment
about today.
Buhle: "I'm so happy to have my Milani back!"
Ona: "Like this is the Milani that we know."
Me: "I have always been the party girl nje mna." I laughed.
Darren: "Yes but ever since you started being serious with Sbu
you were a bit distant, you were the spa girl, shopping girl and
never the Milani that we knew." WOW I didn't realise I had
changed to that extent.
Mapula: "Yeah and I feel like she felt like since she was dating a
Zulu guy, she needed to drop everything that she was doing."
Buhle: "Girl so true, I was just waiting on her to tell me she has
stopped drinking, yoh I was traumz." And we laughed.
Me: "I totally understand guys but nathi we cannot be drinking
every weekend like yoh we need a break."
Buhle: "For a whole year hawu ngeke."
Me: "Hayibo guys, grade 11 was hard so bendingazo hamba
iparty and besides I did go out the whole December with you
guys."
Darren: "Yeah we get you girl, but after that club when we had
like a couple of guys hit on us, you stopped going out a lot."
Ona: "Yeah, what was the issue about that because Sbu knows
lots of guys hit on you all the time, like whenever we go out."
Me: "No man, what made him made was me accepting free
drinks from guys I didn't know and stuff like that."
Buhle: "We get you friend, as long as he isn't controlling."
Me: "Akanolunga kum." And we laughed.
'You & I' by Ricky Rick playing and Mapula screamed...
Mapula: "That's my song right there!" And we had to stand up
and danced.
'Iingoma ezimnandi' by Ifani played. And man did I not stand up
and sing it lyric to lyric, whenever I came back from school, I'd
sing my mom this song and because I didn't have a long
experience with my grandma kodwa umama played all the parts,
she was my mother, father, grandmother and best friend, I hope
uyinxibile iqiya yakho apho ezulwini mama, ungabonizi uyesu
iafro yakho mhlawumbi anganomona, ungabina wari ngam
MamBhele. And because this song was so close to my heart, my
friends stood up and danced to it, never knew a friendship this
good. The time was now 00:00 and we had to go home
unfortunately because Soweto isn't safe and our driver was here
already so we got inside the car, drunk but not drunk drunk,
vibing to good music in the car and drinking my savanna was the
best feeling ever, I couldn't go home looking like this so I asked
them to drop me off at Sbu's house(in Midrand that he bought
early last year) I come out of the car and the first thing I want to
do is go to sleep ASAP.
I knock and knock but he didn't open up then I decide to give him
a call, he comes and opens up.
Sbu: "Where do you come from at this hour?"
Me: "Cela uvule I'm freezing." He opened the burglar and let me
in then I went straight to the bathroom to take a piss then came
back.
Sbu: "You haven't answered me." He said while yawning.
Me: "From an all-white party."
Sbu: "You were accepting free drinks there were you not?" He
asked. I just looked at him then went to the bedroom, taking off
my clothes and changing into his grey sweater.
Sbu: "Hayi, hayi nkanyezi ngikhuluma nawe, you don't get to
walk away while I'm still talking!" He comes to the bedroom.
Me: "Yoh Sibusiso! I'm not in the mood to argue, I just wanna
sleep please!"
Sbu: "At least tell me where you were."
Me: "Soweto, I was so excited to tell you all about today but
wena ungulomntu unguye ke."
Sbu: "And I'm sure Buhle was there too, why are you always with
her when you're partying?"
Me: "Because she's my best friend duh."
Sbu: "I don't know why I bother with you when you've clearly
chosen, it's friends and partying over me all the time."
Me: "Goodnight bro." I said as I covered myself with the blanket.
Sbu: "Okay so now I'm bro, great thing I'm being friend-zoned by
my girlfriend who called me her soulmate a few weeks back." He
could see that I wasn't paying attention to his nonsense, I was so
not in the mood for what he always does when I go out.

MORNING AFTER.
Sbu: "I've bought you coffee, it will help a lot with the
headache."
Me: "I prefer green tea." He looked at me.
Me: "Please baby." He stood up and made me green tea.
Sbu: "I forgot how addicted you are to this shit, what makes it so
special?"
Me: "You wouldn't understand." I kissed him.
Sbu: "Bonnie and Clyde, aren't we?"
Me: "I love you lots, crack head." He laughed.
Sbu: "I love you more khanda shisa wami." And we both laughed.
Well, that's the funny thing about this relationship, we fought
yesterday and the day after he acts like nothing happened.
Sbu: "I feel like marrying you right now." He kissed me.
Sbu: "Don't wanna move in with me?"
Me: "My dad would kill both of us." And we laughed.
Today I'm going to Sbu's brother's event which will be occurring
in his home and I'm wearing my tight, black, silk, body-con dress
which is beaded with silver diamonds and a black heel. My man
is wearing his black tuxedo and black formal shoes, we took pics
before going out and I had them posted on my IG, without his
face though, I wasn't ready to let the world know the guy who
has stolen my heart. We're in his Porche today and I'm the one
driving, without my license of course because taking risks is part
of life. We made THEE grand entrance, and everyone was looking
at us while photographers were taking pictures and videos. We
went inside the house, and I chilled with the wives of the
brothers, and we started talking.
Mbali: "Is he controlling?" she asked while taking a sip from her
orange juice.
Me: "Very much and sometimes it's draining."
Thando: "All the Twala brothers are controlling."
Amahle: "It's not controlling, it's in the Zulu men system to want
submissive women."
Me: "Maybe my man is too much."
Mbali: "You haven't seen my husband." And we all laughed.
'Ngiyazifela ngawe' by Kwesta was playing and I was looking for
my man...
Me: "Baby, can we go for a dance?"
Sbu: "I'm busy nabafobethu, nawe you can see that please
occupy yourself."
Me: "Uthetha nabani kanjalo?" The brothers all looked at me,
was this the first time they heard a woman stand up for herself?
Sbu: "Ngiyaxolisa nkanyezi, ngiyeza manje." I rolled my eyes and
got out but overheard one of his brothers say....
Manqoba: "Hayi bafo usuyithanda kakhulu lengane,
uxoliselani?" What a bunch of ass holes.
I sat down with this glass of wine in my hands and started going
through my phone then I could feel someone's gaze from the
side and this person walked towards me, I looked up and it was
this brown-skinned tall guy with dimples and a nice cut.
Me: "Uh...hi"
The guy: "Someone seems bored, want to go for a dance? My
favorite song is playing." He smiled with such a bright smile.
Me: "Uhm, yeah, I'm down for dance."
We danced to 'How to love' and he was such a professional
when it came to dancing...
The guy: "I'm Thabang." He whispered while we were still
dancing.
Me: "I'm Milani." I whispered back.
Thabang: "Well, Milani, I find you very pretty." I smile.
Me: "Thank you."
Thabang: "Especially when you smile, you light up the room."
Me: "That's what my boyfriend always tells me." I laugh.
Thabang: "Oh, you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "He’s, my soulmate." I smile.
Thabang: "Your soulmate could be the one standing in front of
you right now."
Me: "Iyoh hayi kengoku." I laughed.
Thabang: "Is he one of the Twala boys?"
Me: "Yes, the second last born."
Thabang: "Mhmm, thank you for the dance." He said as the song
ended.
Me: "Always." I turned around and Sbu was standing with his 2
brothers, he seemed full of rage and teary eyes, I slowly walked
to him and asked...
Me: "Sbu are you okay?"
Sbu: "I don't wanna talk about it." As I was walking his brother
said...
Musa: "Yin 'indaba ubukisa ngo bafo?"
Me: "What?"
Manqoba: "Awuyizisiswa into yokuthi ubukise ngo bhuti?"
Me: "I don't get what I did wrong and I'm going home anyway."
Senzo: "Ayi ntombazana awunamahloni nhe, uyabaleka
manje?Me: "Yes ndiyabaleka, I'm running away from this toxic
environment, Sbu is a complete different person when we're
here, akanandlela yothetha and I just don't know this person
anymore so I'm running away from him." I turned around and
placed a call to Buhle, the one thing I wanted right now were
cold bevarages, while standing outside the gate I'm waiting for
my uber and Sbu walks out.
Me: "I don't wanna argue."
Sbu: "The reason why I was mad was because you were dancing
with another man ngikhona mina."
Me: "Ubukhona nyan? Because if you rememeber well I went to
you and asked you for a dance and you told me I should go and
occupy myself with something."
Sbu: "And you decided to occupy yourself with a man ekhaya?"
Me: "I was on my phone when he came and asked for a dance."
Sbu: "Okay ke, ngiyaxolisa mama, wozo ngena phakathi."
Me: "I can't, I'm sorry the girls need me."
Sbu: "Accepting free drinks again?"
Me: "Whatever you call it."
Sbu: "Ngen'endlini Milani."
Me: "Andizoyenza mna lonto." He pulled my arm.
Sbu: "I said get inside the fucken house!"
Me: "Ndiyeke!" I shouted and people started looking at us.
Me: "You're such a control freak, my friends were right about
you, I just can't do this anymore, I'm sorry." I said while getting
inside my cab. Maybe we were over, maybe he wasn't the guy I
thought he was, maybe he's easily influenced when he is around
his brothers and until her comes back to his senses I won't back
down.
I went back home then changed into my denim shorts which
were revealing a quarter of my bum and a white fest and a short
shirt with a my all white converse sneaker and ironed my weave
then did my natural look make-up and carried a pink glossy sling
bag then went out, we are going to Waterfall club and my cab
was here already. Buhle is always the early comer, so she was
already seated and then the rest came in and we ordered some
steak and fries while Darren ate his vegies (he is vegetarian) I
told them what happened, they were all shocked and advised
me to get out of the relationship ASAP. It is now shot o'clock,
and shots were out there on top of the table, and we started
dancing and as usual Mapula and Ona started twerking. I was
stunned to see Thabang follow my Instagram, where did he get
my handle from? I was all smitten then Darren said...
Darren: "We need more shots, Milz please go to the bar."
Me: "Okay." I went to the bar and ordered the shot and my
savanna, I was waiting on my order when I smelt Sbu's cologne, I
felt hands touch my waist and kiss my neck, I knew it was Sbu,
his beard has this refreshing smell, and his cologne just speaks
before he even does. I turned around and yes, it was him.
Sbu: "Exactly where I assumed you would be." I looked at him
and rolled my eyes then took my order, as I was walking past
him, he held my arm and I said...
Me: "Ndiyeke."
Sbu: "Hawu mama."
Me: "Ulahlekelwe ngu nyoko kwedini?" He gasped, probably not
expecting such words to come out of my mouth, akandazi
kakuhle kemnanke ndiyi ntombi yase Bhayi, he knows nothing
about me.
I walked towards the table we were sitting at then put the shot
down and sat down to drink my savanna. He followed me then
said...
Sbu: "Nkanyezi." I looked at him and my friends started snapping
and chasing him away, while Darren was confronting him about
what happened.
Sbu: "Angikhulumi nani." He said
Me: "Sibusiso cela uhambe torho please."
Sbu: "Tell me to leave and I'll be convinced you don't love me." I
kept quiet while my friends were expecting a reaction from me.
Sbu: "I take it you still love me, please lend me an ear princess."
He said as he held my hand and I got up to leave, leaving my
friends' jaws on the floor, eyababini ayingenwa.
We went inside his car and then to his house and he said...
Sbu: "Nkanyezi, I'm so sorry for everything that happened
today."
Me: "What exactly? For snapping at me when I asked you for a
dance? When you didn't defend me when your brothers spoke
shit to my face or you grabbing me by the arm, forcing me to go
inside? Which one are you sorry for exactly?" He drank his beer.
Sbu: "Everything my love."
Me: "Mhmm as usual."
Sbu: "Inkinga ukuthi you're the most loyal person I've ever
known and seeing you dancing with another man just broke my
heart, that shit hurt a lot man." He poured me wine and handed it
over.
Me: "I'd never cheat on the man I love, nawe uyayazi lonto." I
said while sipping this red wine.
Sbu: "Then what were you guys whispering about?"
Me: "He was telling me how beautiful I am and that my eyes light
up the room, I whispered back telling him that's what my
boyfriend tells me every time." He smiled.
Me: "You literally feel like home, so why would I go to a hotel
when home is right here?”
Sbu: “How I enjoy seeing you reassuring me.” He smiled.
Me: “I wanna cuddle let’s go to bed.” And we went to bed and
cuddled.
Today I woke up and went for a jog, then took a shower and went
back home, I hate leaving Sbu alone but at home Yvonne also
misses me.
Yvonne: “Stranger!” She shouted while I was closing the sliding
door.
Me: “I missed you ma.”
Yvonne: “That’s good, angithi bathi absence makes the heart
grow fonder.” I laughed.
Me: “Yeah, but I was hoping to have a chat with you though.” I
sat down.
Yvonne: “I’m all ears.”
Me: “So, Sbu has been such a control freak lately.”
Yvonne: “In what way?”
Me: “He says he doesn’t feel comfortable seeing me go to clubs
with my friends and he’s been telling me how he is the alpha and
omega of this relationship which is something I do not
appreciate.”
Yvonne: “I feel like you guys need to sit down and talk about it
and just let him know how you feel.”
Me: “You see that’s another issue, whenever we sit down to
discuss something it turns into this huge fight, and I feel like he
doesn’t want me to voice out my emotions and it almost feels
like this isn’t the guy I fell in love with you know?”
Yvonne: “So you guys end up agreeing to disagree?”
Me: “Well, it’s almost like that and mna I’m not the typpa girl to
bekezel’ if I see this is shit I wanna immediately exit the
relationship.”
Yvonne: “No, you guys definitely need to have a convo and leave
the relationship if you don’t feel happy, before it escalates to
something like what me and your dad have you know?”
Me: “Yeah, uhm...definitely I’ll talk to him ndive ukuba simephi.”
Yvonne: “Okay my love, come give me a hug.” I leaned in and
gave my momma the biggest hug. Yvonne feels like my mom
now, she has that special place in my heart and I don’t think
anyone can take her place, I have grown fond of her, I’ve learnt
to accept the situation and love her as she is.
Me: “Uphi uSiyanda?”
Yvonne: “Probably still in Dubai, dwelling on what happened.”
And we both laughed as we high-fived.
Me: “Well, that’s what happens when someone chooses a man
over her family, like she barely visited us because of lamntu
wakhe kodwa she lives in Waterfall, imagine.”
Yvonne: “Being dumped at the altar has to be every girl’s
nightmare.” I honestly feel bad for Siyanda but the way she
distanced herself from everyone had me saying she deserves it.
Me: “He was like ‘Siyanda I can’t do this, sorry, I’m in love with
someone else.’ like who does that in front of the whole family?”
Yvonne: “And another thing that made it suspicious was the fact
that the engagement took 2years, for me it was clear enough to
see that the guy wasn’t serious shame.” Imagine.
Me: “Abafana will leave you in desert with no water yoh!” And we
both laughed.
I am going out for drinks with Sbu today at Marble Restaurant,
just wanna iron out whatever it is that we have going on. I'm
wearing my denim short skirt with a stripy black and white crop
top and a white shirt on top with black sneakers. I cabbed and
got there, and he was with this girl who was short, had braids,
petite and was light skinned, they were by the balcony, very cozy
almost looked like a couple who was looking at the view of the
beautiful restaurant that I had suggested, wow. I walk towards
them.
Me: “Uhm, hi.”
Sbu: “Sthandwa sami,I want you to meet someone very special
today.” Why is she special?
Me: “Are we a throuple now?”
Sbu: “No, what? Now ways, meet Kwezi, my best friend.”
Me: “Hayi Sbusiso, une female bestie uqala nini wena ngoku?”
Sbu: “The one I told you about, the one I said was studying
fashion in the states.” Damn me, he’s right.
Me: “Yeah, but you have only brought that up once, that was like
during the first year of our relationship, I didn’t even know she
existed.”
Sbu: “Well she did, what made you think she didn’t exist?”
Me: “Because y’all never called or texted, so how was I
supposed to believe that?”
Sbu: “Oh, she's always busy you know and besides I want you
guys to get to know each other better.”
Kwezi: “I’m Kwezi and Sbu is my childhood bestie, more like a
brother now though, I truly appreciate this man and.....
And I zoned out while she was still speaking, her voice was so
soft and it seemed like she has been strangled for her to talk and
I was so not interested in hearing her talk about my man’s
childhood, well I’m not sure if he's even my man now.
Sbu: “Baby, are you listening?” I looked at him and blinked twice
Sbu: “Are you okay?” HELL NO, I need Buhle to come and save
me from all this shit.
Me: “Yeah, but i forgot yazi, I had an appointment with my nail
tech.”
Sbu: “But your nails are fine my love.” I stood up...
Me: “I’m going to the bathroom.” And at that very moment I
knew I wasn’t coming back to this nonsense.

20mins later...
Me: “Chomi it felt like that was their date and I was the third
wheel.”
Buhle: “I can’t believe he introduced you to his bestie that he
only mentioned once, just once?”
Me: “And it’s not just a bestie, it’s a girl who is Zulu to top it off,
like I’m pissed off chomi.”
Buhle: “Kudala ngakutshela mngani ukuthi this guy is a red flag
but ke wena awulaleli, busy blinded by love.”
Me: “Lady Zama once said... Love is bl-i-nd!” And we both
laughed. A spa date with my best friend was needed, Sbu invited
me to his place tonight and I went over there....
Sbu: "Hey you." He said while unlocking the burglar.
Sbu: "Hawu, I'm greeting." I rolled my eyes.
Me; Okwesngaphi? You saw me today andazi noba uphethwe yi
dementia nha." He looked at me and put the keys on the table,
as I walked in.
Sbu: "So unenkinga with me introducing my female best friend
to you?" I poured myself juice and gave 0 attention to this
conversation.
Sbu: "I don't get the attitude you're giving me right now?"
Me: "Why her?"
Sbu: "Why Siyo?" WOW.
Me: "Wow, so this is revenge?"
Sbu: "This isn't revenge, but do you remember how I felt about
your friendship with him, kodwa awukaze uyinake imizwa yami?"
He folded his arms.
Me: "But he changed schools andithi? He was at Crest Vest just
for my first year."
Sbu: "But it doesn't change the fact that you guys went to
clubs,parties,ferris wheels and adventure camps together! And
both your brothers loved him."
Me: "That's because he was family, and him being in Canada
doesn't mean we're no longer family."
Sbu: "Well, I guess Kwezi is family too." PATHETIC! I put the
glass down and took off my shoes.
Me: "I'll request an uber, ndigoduke."
Sbu: "I thought you were gonna sleepover since my brothers
invited us for a braai tomorrow."
Me: "I don't think I'll be able to pop up, sorry."
Sbu: "You see that's another thing about you Milani, if it was
Buhle or Ona or whoever inviting you over for a braai you
would've jumped."
Me: "Yes, I would've jumped because they aren't toxic!"
Sbu: "Wow, so I'm the toxic one now? Wow"
Me: "Yes, Sbu you're toxic, this, you, your brothers, you guys are
all toxic." He gasped.
Me: "We're toxic for each other, you obviously want a 'yebo
baba' kinda girl and I'm sorry but I'm not that, if I see you're doing
or saying shit I'll stand up, I love you so much Sbu but this? I
can't."
Sbu: "And I love you too."
Me: "This doesn't feel like love, honestly it's like I'm the party
freak and you're the husband material, Sbusiso you make me
feel like a girl who has no morals!"
Sbu: "We both know that's not true."
Me: "Well, that's what it feels like, it's like I'm this girl who has to
be taught morals when all I wanna do is enjoy life to the fullest."
Sbu: "I'd hate to see what we've built come to an end,
ngiyakuthanda Mambhele wami omuhle, I wanna try, I want us to
try and rebuild this beautiful thing we have built together, I love
you so much and I hate it." He had the longest drink of his beer
after saying that sentence
Me: "I'll have to see how willing you are to change your behavior,
because honestly, if I see no change, I'm ready to let it go,
actions speak louder than words honestly."
Sbu: "Please don't give up on us yet nkanyezi."
Me: "You know how long I've come with fixing my mental health,
nawe you know how you became my scapegoat, to a point where
my step mom had to force me to go to therapy, and you know
Sbu the ins-and-outs I made kwi therapist yam, so please do not
let all of that hard work go to waste." He nods.
Sbu: "If it's for you, then I'm willing to make things right."
Me: "Okay."
Sbu: "Let's seal it with a kiss." And I leaned in for the kiss.

'Ngiyazfela ngawe' By Kwesta was playing.

He looked deep into my eyes, I failed at keeping eye contact, so I
looked away, but he pulled my chin and I turn to face his lips and
he says....
Sbu: "Ngiyakuthanda uyezwa?"
Me: "I love you more." I reply. Under this warm blanket is me
wearing my silky night gown and he puts his warm hands on my
on thigh, I take my one hand and hold on his neck, and we dive
into this kiss and lifts me up and puts me on top of him, I felt his
erection. He gives me my favorite, the never-ending neck kisses
and keeps on telling me how much he loves me in-between, I lay
on my back, and he shifts to the top then says...
Sbu; "Damn it you're beautiful." I smile.
Sbu: "But you look too innocent for this."
Me: "Wow seriously?" I roll my eyes.
Sbu: "Woza lana ke." He says. He takes off my white lace panty
and slowly takes off my bra, moving my long afro to the side, as
he went down on me slowly and made me remember every
single thing that he did to me down there. I moaned, moan, and
moan, I couldn't control how hard I moaned, he took his finger
and put it inside me....
Me: "Sbu, Sbu, Sbu!" I kept on saying his name repeatedly, not
wanting him to stop but for him to continue giving me the
pleasure and pain as he opened my legs wide open staring at my
tight wet vagina...and it was at this very moment I knew I was
about to lose my virginity until a knock at the door came through.
Sbu: "(groans) ughhh who could it be ngesikhathi?yerr man
people have no timing." They sure do not, but this is a complex
how could they have possibly let whoever that was through?
Me: "Go get the door." He got off me and went to open up while I
headed to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. "Hawu
abantu lana bahamaba ngama towels, imnandi impilo yase Goli
angithi ndodana" This sure sounded like a woman. I turned
around and it was Sbu's mother.
Me: "Oh, um...ma hi."
The mom: "Are you the girl I've been told about? Why are you in a
white towel now?
Me: "Oh hayi ma, andazi kodwa ke I'm Sbu's girlfriend, that's
why."
The mom: "Oh hayike mina ngingu maka Sbu, Thandeka Twala,
originally from Eastern Cape, ndivile nawe ungu mXhosa."
Me: "Oh, babe you never told me your mom is Xhosa."
Sbu: "Was that information that important?" Wow.
Thandeka: "Since indlu yakho is closer Sbusiso, I'll be sleeping
over here tonight then ksasa we'll just go together to the pool
party."
Me: "Isn't it just braai?"
Thandeka: "It's a pool party and braai so bring your best
swimwear with you." I looked at Sbu and cocked an eyebrow as
Thandeka walked away.
Me: "You didn't mention the pool part kum."
Sbu: "Yeah, why would I want my brothers babuke ukudla
kwami?" I roll my eyes.
Sbu: "You taste good by the way mkami, I'd love to have more of
you." He said while tickling me.
Me: "Hayi...(laughs) Sbu man(giggles)... your mom is here so we
have to control ourselves, okay?" He laughs.
Sbu: "We'll see about that." I giggle.
In my red bikini and silver flip flops I left the room.
Sbu: "You're wearing that?"
Me: "I'll wear a red lace on top of the panties."
Thandeka: "Angiboni lutho nje mina erongo lapho."
Sbu: "But a G-string mara?yoh baby." I rolled my eyes. We got
inside the car and drove to Melrose.
A few minutes later we got there, and the braai was already on,
the wives were just chilling, some of them covered their bodies
which I do not get why because this is a pool party. I got off the
car and man...were the stares not at me, I could feel them the
moment I got off the car, swinging my afro from side to side
while getting off the car, it almost felt magical and, in my head,
'Nomayini' by Kwesta was playing. I went straight to Mbali
because she was the only wife who was more welcoming and
she was in shorts with a top, seriously? I went on greeting all the
brothers, well at least they seemed calm today, I'm just hoping
there'll be no fights.
Me: "Let me go put the salads inside babe."
Sbu: "Okay." On my way to the kitchen, I bump into Thabang...He
gave me a stare from my hair to my pretty toes.
Me: "Uhm...hi, I didn't expect you here."
Thabang: "Hey." He giggles.
Me: "Uhlekani?"
Thabang: "The fact that you never gave me a follow back."
Me: "I was but then, I was so curious on how you got my profile."
Thabang: "Oh, Mbali gave it to me, can you believe I asked
Amahle for it, and she said she's not letting a man ruin what you
have with Sbu." I laughed.
Me: "Hayi uphambene mos lowo." I laughed.
Thabang: "I mean if it's real, it won't be easily broken but then if
it's not I'm marrying you tomorrow."
Me: "You're so crazy." I laughed.
Sbu: "Who's marrying who?" He said, popping out of nowhere.
Me: "Oh babe, Thabang was just joking around,"
Sbu: "About marrying you? Wow, hahaha" Really now?
Thabang: "Uhm...I was on my way out anyway."
Me: "Okay, bye!"
Thabang: "Don't forget to follow back!" I laughed as he walked
out.
Sbu: "Wait so he followed you?"
Me: "Yes and can you believe he's begging me for a follow back?"
I said while laughing.
Sbu: "Yini esinekisayo manje?"
Me: "Him, okanye you don't get the joke right?" I laughed. I knew
it wasn't about the joke, ebekhweleta and I wasn't ready to spoil
my day.
I got inside the pool and swam life out of it, Kedibone(First
brother's wife) seemed so cool that she offered to take pics and
videos of me inside the pool, none of the wives wanted to join,
so it was just me and Mbali swimming.
Me: "Why are you swimming in shorts and not swimwear?"
Mbali: "It's too revealing, ubaba would not appreciate me in a
swimsuit."
Me: "Wait...so by ubaba you mean your husband?"
Mbali: "Yes, is there something wrong with that?" COULD NEVER
BE ME!
Me: "No, I thought your dad was here to visit." LIAR.
Me: "But I don't think he would mind though it's a pool party after
all."
Mbali: "Okay, come help me pick." We got out of the water and
headed upstairs to her room which had a stunning view. We had
3 options, the first one was a one-piece leopard swimwear and
we both found it boring, the second one was a 2piece white with
a G-string panty and a bob-cube bra, and we both knew her
husband would not appreciate that one, so we went with the last
look which was black and white stripy, a appropriate bra with its
decent panties and a stripy lace in a pants form, but was see
through and just like that, I've completed the look and we went
outside, every single person was looking at us, even the way we
walked and moved. We sat down, taking sips from our cocktails
and pictures.
Amahle: "Mbali! Yhini le oyigqikile?!"
Me: "Um...excuse me, is there anything wrong with her outfit?"
Amahle: "Yes there is, everything is wrong with that outfit and
futhi naye uyamazi uMusa ukuthi ngumuntu o arrogant nje kabi."
Me: "But it's her body mos, so she gets to do what she wanna
do."
Amahle: "Yeyii! Ntombazana, kusemendweni la, indoda
iyahlonishwa, futhi nine ntlahla nje ukuthi akekho la manje
uMusa, otherwise when he comes back, he'll point a gun at you
both.
Me: Akanolenzza ixesha kum.” I took a sip from my cocktail.
Mbali: "Uyazini?ngikhathele nami ulokhe ngi controllwa ngu
Musa njalo uyena and his ego." Yerr, sounds exactly like
Sbusiso.
Me: "And you know my aunt was dumped at the altar did I tell
you that?"
Mbali: "Yah mngani ubushilo."
Me: "You see, those are one of the reasons why you shouldn't
bow to a man and show him how head over heels you are for
him."
Mbali: "Iyoh mngani, men will leave you in the desert with no
water." And we both laughed.
Me: "Well, that's my line but what can I say?" And we laughed. I
couldn't see Sbusiso and his 2 brothers, Manqoba and Musa,
you'd swear they're a trio.
Me: "Kedibone have you seen Sbu?"
Kedibone: "Uvaye li Manqoba and Musa, they're fetching some
of their friends."
Me: "Oh okay."
Kedibone: "Beware, there's gonna be girls too." What a plot
twist.
Me: "Confidence has never been my enemy." And we laughed.
We've been waiting for so long and decided to dish up and eat.
There came in my man's Porche with like five girls and five gents,
what fucked up game is this? And quite surprisingly, Kwezi was
here too, lol.
Musa: "Hawu madoda, yhini manje le umkami ayi qokile?" That
time he just got out of a car full of girls in their bikinis.
Mbali: "It's a swimsuit." Was it not obvious for him to see?
Musa: "Yihlazo leyo I'm not gonna lie."
Me: "Lihlazo njani when she's got this amazing body?"
Musa: "Angikhulumi nawe wena thula!"
Me: "I don't care bro, but you cannot tell her what and what not
to do!"
Musa: "I have every right to tell her what to do I'm her husband."
Me: "And not her father, qhubeka." And everyone gasped.
Musa: "Lalela la ntombazana, you might have the last say to Sbu
but I'm not him, ngizoku faka inhlamva right this moment."
Me: "Hayi kaloku toto, uyawu lala ubaliwe apha kum, andidlali
kanjalo mna." Everyone was shocked, they kept on gasping,
caba they were in shock to find a woman who can stand up to
this man.
Sbu: "Sthandwa sami please."
Me: "Hayi, ndiyeke wena." The anger I was feeling yoh. I grabbed
my phone, my bag and put the lace on and ran out of the gate,
ready to uber home. Sbu ran after me and said....
Sbu: “Running away again?”
I just looked away, so not in the mood fr the arguing.
Sbu: “Why can’t you act like an adult once in your life? Why do
you always run away when it comes to fighting or facing
something? Why can’t we sit down and resolve this as adults?”
Me: “Maybe I’m too complicated for you and for your family.”
Sbu: “No you’re not but you keep on complicating things!”
Me: “Ungxolelani?
Sbu: “Because I want to and I’m the man in this relationship, it's
time you accepted that!” He said, pointing at me and very angry.
Me: “Cela uhambe Sbusiso, I’m waiting on my uber please.”
Sbu: “You think I’d let you go inside a car with another man in a
G-string?” I rolled my eyes.
Sbu: “That’s what you’re good at vele, always rolling your eyes
mangikhuluma!”
Sbu: “I’m gonna take the car out and we’re going home!”
Me: “No, you’re taking me home. I don’t wanna sleep next to you
mna!”
Sbu: “Wow.” He went inside and the yard and came out with the
car and shouted “Ngena emotweni!” I got inside the car, and we
drove to his house. I changed into my night gown and poured
myself wine and watched TV while he went to bed and started
playing music, mhlawumbi I’m too much to bear and stress him
out.
Sbu: “Are you happy?”
Me: “Happy with what?”
Sbu: “That I had to leave a braai that was made special for my
mom, that I had to leave everyone that I invited there?”
Me: “Did I force you to leave?Andithi you found me outside
requesting a cab?”
Sbu: “So you thought I would let you go half-naked in a car with
another man?!” He said shouting.
Me: “You don’t always have to be violent Sbusiso.:
Sbu: “And what’s the deal with Thabang anyway?”
Me: “I told you, he was begging for a follow back mos!”
Sbu: “Why are you raising your voice at me huh? Uyindoda
manje?”
Me: “Because I’ve been repeating myself and it’s honestly
draining!”
Sbu: “Wow, I’m sure you guys are sleeping together, I mean...are
you even a virgin that you claim you are Milani? Do you even love
me?”
Me: “This is too much I’m going home.”
Sbu: “Where you going?!” He said coming closer and shouting,
freaking me out
Me: “I’m leaving you!”
Sbu: “You’re going nowhere” He locked the door
Me: “Sbu please, don’t.”
Sbu: “Next time you try to leav, imma tie you to this bed and set
the house on fire.”
Me: “Baby, I just wanna go home.” I said while sobbing.
Sbu: “THIS IS HOME!” He screamed out that sentence.
Me: “Fuck you!” I was pissed. He came closer to me and said...
Sbu: “Phinda futhi!” I was out of words, was this really the man I
fell in love with? He gave me the biggest smack, I held on to my
cheek still in disbelief. He pushed me and I fell down, he was
about to kick me but I held his one leg, trying to stand up but also
defending myself. He kept on saying...
Sbu: “Usuyi ndoda manje wena?” While kicking me like there
was no tomorrow. I was out of strength and the wine had gotten
to my head.
Me: “I’m sorry, baby ndiyaxolisa.” Busy shouting out Im sorry
when I know I’ve done nothing wrong...
Me: “Please stop Sbusiso, nooo!” I said. I bit his leg and he gave
in, groaning in pain, I grabbed the keys and opened the door, I
was about to walk out of the gate, but he held me and took me
inside the house again.
Me: “Sbusiso ndikwenze ntoni?!”
Sbu: “Ungaphinde ukwenze lokho ukwenzile!”
Me: “Okay but I’m sorry.” I said, sobbing in pain.
Me: “Baby xolo.” The only thing that mattered was him hearing
my apologies, that’s the only way he was going to let go of me.
Sbu: “I don’t know what got over me, ngiyaxolisa nkanyezi.” And
I had to act along, with eyes full of tears.
Sbu: “Let me go get something to clean you up.” I nod. And
immediately as he got up to the bathroom, I got up and left the
house while the gate was still open, I ran and ran, hoping that
he’d not come after me, I reached the gate and begged the
securities to open up for me, my phone was in the silky gown
that I was wearing which had blood everywhere now. I tried to
uber but then saw the time, but was desperate enough to call a
cab, sobbing all the way home while the driver kept on asking if I
was okay and the only thing I could do was nod until I got home.
Banging on this aluminum gate and ringing the bell repeatedly
while crying...Dad came and opened up, asking me what’s wrong
and the only thing I could do was shake my head repeatedly and
crying, we got inside and he made me sugar water, but the other
thing which grabbed my attention was that, Asanda(dad’s
second wife) and Minentle(dad’s child) were both here, and
Yvonne came down the stairs running.
Dad: “Khuluma ngane yami, I’m sure the water has calmed you
down.”
Me: “Tata, he- he- beat me up.” Dad stood up in anger and
Yvonne stood up in shock.
Dad: “Uthi kwenze njani?”
Me: “Undibethile tata, he said I was so complicated and that I
trigger him and I- I- (cries)” Dad stood up and came back with a
gun, wow I didn’t know he owned one.
Dad: “You’ll have to show me where he lives.”
Yvonne: “Phakathwayo awucabangi ukuthi that’s too risky?”
Dad: “NO! Milani will show me where this boy lives.” I took a sip
of my sugar water.
Dad: “Khuluma Milani!” I looked at him and stood up.
Me: “I need to sleep.” And as traumatic the night was, all I
wanted to do was fall asleep but woken up by nightmares and
Yvonne decided to sleep with me for the night.
Me: “He sounded angry, he seemed livid, he seemed like he was
ready to kill me.”
Judge: “What do you think must’ve triggered the man?”
Me: “I don’t know, last time I checked we left the party with him
acting overprotective of me and he never wanted me to stand up
for myself.”
Judge: “He would like to drop charges on Sizwe Mthembu who
has assaulted him, ma’am, would you like to do the same?” I
can’t believe Sizwe flew all the way from Cape Town just to beat
him up like that.
Me: “Because I’ll be leaving for California next week, I don’t
think flying to SA every Friday is part of my schedule, so yes I’d
like to drop the charges on him.” And he smiled, still very
handsome, as cruel as he is.
Sizwe: “Yazi lamuntu ufuna nje mina ngimbulale.”
Me: “Une drama kodwa nawe.” I said while laughing.
Sizwe: “Now that this has been reported in the news, every
single guy who dates you must know that you’re a princess and
you must be treated like one. I laughed. The headlines read,
“Rugby player Sizwe Mthembu beats up his sister’s boyfriend”
Pretty sure I’m the famous one now, lol.
5days later...
Sizwe: “Hey! what do you want here?!” I turned around from the
ice-cream truck, and it was Sibusiso.
Sbu: “I just wanna talk to your sister.”
Sizwe: “That’s not allowed, sorry homie.”
Me: “Myeke Sizwe, let me hear him out.”
Sizwe: “I’ll stand right here, don’t do anything stupid.” He
comes closer to me and says...
Sbu: “I’m sorry for everything, I'm sorry for treating you like
trash, I’m sorry for never appreciating you and lastly for beating
you up, that’s not how a man should treat a woman, ngiyaxolisa
nkanyezi.”
Me: “Apology accepted but keep those nicknames to yourself it
won’t work this time around.” He crocks an eyebrow.
Sbu: “You never told me you were going to California”
Me: “Yes, and I wasn’t planning on telling you Sbu, all the
universities I applied to accepted me but most of them wanted
me by scholarship and they were overseas and because I was in
a relationship with you I was planning on going to UJ or UP
because I didn’t wanna be far from you, and now imagine if I had
given the opportunity away for a person who beats me up and
very toxic, ew, I deserve way better.” I left him hanging after
taking two ice creams and gave one to my brother. Back home,
there’s Yvonne, dad, Mazwi, Sizwe, Asanda, Minentle, Lwandle
and Buhle, MY PERFECT FAMILY.
Me: “Being accepted in the same school with my best friend
means a lot, it means more laughter, more happy moments and
more memories together, I truly appreci9ate you friend.” She
smiles.
Me: “And to you ma, Yvonne, I’ve learnt to treat you the way you
treat me, you’ve been nothing but a great mother figure to me, a
great supporter and a shoulder to cry on, I love you so much
mama, and to you dad, we’ve had our ups and downs but I’m
truly grateful that you were able to stand up for me whenever
there was a minor inconvenience, I love you too dad. And to my
brothers, thank you for everything and mostly to your
overprotectiveness Sizwe and to your comforts Mazwi, I could
never be more grateful. Asanda and Mini, I’ve learnt to accept
you both, even though you guys were not my favorites and dad
decided to buy you guys your own house but Mini, you have
showed me the definition of a sister and for that I’m grateful.”
And they all smiled.
Me: “TO US!”
All: “TO US!” And we made a toast.
Me: “There’s someone I’d like you guys to meet though.” They
were all surprised and there came in Thabang.
Me: “This is Thabang, my boyfriend, we’re both moving to the US,
he is doing his 5th year in Medicine and has been accepted in
California!”
Mazwi: “Wow, uhm..sis I’m happy for you.’
Sizwe: “Bro, you better treat her right or...mhm I don’t wanna
mention it.” And everyone laughed. Everyone got to meet the
man who had my heart properly as I deleted every single post on
my Instagram that had Sbusiso with his face or not, everything
that had him inside had to be thrown, including the necklace he
bought me, well you know what they say “An End of An Era.”

1week later...
In the airport, waiting on our flight while on facetime with
Siyolise, telling him we’ll come visit him before heading to Cali,
and damn my best friend could not stop jumping up and down
and screaming his lungs out and telling us about his new
girlfriend and that he wanted us to meet her.
Me: “Okay, our plane is here now, gotta go.” I giggled.
With my best friend next to my brother and my man next to me,
we are so ready for the journey, and whatever it had, Mazwi
changed schools for Buhle and Thabang did the same for me, if
this isn’t happily ever after, I don’t know what to call it. Studying
as a Data Scientist in Canada means I get to see more of Siyo,
but then more of my boyfriend because I’ll be studying at an Arts
school in California as a part-time student. Buhle will be doing
her 4year nursing degree in California and studying Art at the
same university I’ll be in. This sure is a dream come true. Well,
you know what they say, “Happily ever after.”
Siri, please play “UNWRITTEN” by Natasha Bedingfield.
THE END.