The epitome of life

The epitome of life

I could hear them whispering and I knew they were arguing. I stood by the passage for a while hearing their hush tones and then my mom voice loud and clear what do you want me to do? I could hear some shuffling and am guessing this time around dad was holding her cause I could hear some muffling sound. you going to be brave enough for her I heard my father answer. I knew my father never had much time left in this world. Am not even sure what he had but my 13 year old brain knew that it just a matter of time before he could go for forever. I stood there for a while listening to mom soft cries and dad soothing and comforting words towards her. I stood there finding solace in knowing my parents love each other and my mom is being there for him all step of the way. Then I heard his cool calm voice Tiwa I smiled cause he always know when am near and I slowly walked in to find my mom wiping her tears and giving me that fake smile. I crawled into bed with him as his bones poked at me but I knew he wouldn’t like it if I never snuggled.

Dad: have I ever tell you what your name means?

a million times dad

Dad: Tiwa... The one who owns the crown. Meaning you can go through anything in life and you will come out strong. I smiled and snuggle closer to him.

Dad: You are everything and anything my love. Never forget that.

i wont daddy he smiled and i watched my mom tears roll down her face and I knew that this week is going to be a hard week and indeed it was as I woke up to my father body cold as concrete and his shallow breathes no longer there and my mom looking at us with teary red eyes.

Mom: Say your goodbyes Tiwa.

I shifted from his cold body and kissed his forehead then mom picked me up from the bed and that was the last I saw of my loving father.

My name is Tiwa Jele and here is a sneak peak into my world as I navigate....

#1

Mrs  Jele

The pain of watching my daughter grow without a father was too much. The adjustment of having to be a dual income home to a single handed income was taking it toll on me. I watched my daughter go through grief, watched her become an introvert more then ever and shut me off and the hardest was when I tried to talk to her she will smile and lie to me, tell me she fine. School was a worry for me cause I wanted her to do good, be someone in life. I watched her marks keep their standard and watched her be strong for me now more then ever. The more I worried about her the more she got stronger and became my pillar of strength. I know that parents shouldn’t lean on their children but I leaned on mine to function. I leaned on mine so she can focus on school, be a better individual and be independent. I leaned on mine for support which she gave without me asking for, I leaned on her emotionally and on days that the loss of her father was too much to bear that I’ll turn to the bottle, I leaned on her Physically and not once did my child ever disappoint me. She was there, with love, understanding and support in any regard that I needed her. She was there, my Tiwa was always there....

4 years later

Tiwa

I watched my mother coffin go down to the ground and I felt my tears roll down as the pastor uttered his last prayers. I stood there and watched the earth welcome her as they buried her. Am going to be okay... Mama said am going to be okay. I felt someone hand brush my back to smooth out the pain I was feeling and I stood there not giving in to the emptiness that was over whelming me. Am 17 years of age, doing my grade  11 and already life have taken so much from me. Once the burial was done, we all went home and I disappeared to the attic where i used to escape. It was the only place where I felt I could scream my lungs out and be angry at God. But I sat there looking up at the ceiling and felt tears roll down my face. 4 years, that how long it took my mom to survive my father psssing. We had good days and we had horrible days and today was my horrible day. My phone buzzed and I looked at the screen and it was my friend Palesa where are you?

I ignored the text and just laid there. What going to happen to me? I have no one, my mother family is evil and my father family deserted him the day he married my mother. So what will happen to me? Who will welcome me into their fold? Aunt Cebi lives far from my school so that not gonna work. Aunt Linda lives around here but her kids are rascals so I’ll never survive there and Malume Tsetse is just a regular guy who jumps girl friend to girl friend that no stable home. I laid there closed my eyes and tried my best to breathe in and out just so I can be calmer. I could hear the voices downstairs everyone asking where is so and so and all. Finally when I was calmer and more in tune with who I am, I walked down the steps to the lounge to find everyone looking at me with pity which is something I do not want. I took a plate of food and walked out of the house and went to the swing by the tree. I sat there and watched everyone try their best to just let me be when my friend Palesa came to me grinning like a retard.

what got guy did you see?

Palesa: You 12 o clock. I counted to 3 after she told me then turned to see the guy in his cool black suit and shoes leaning to a black Merc. He looked angry and he was looking at the two older couple that was shaking hands with my uncle and smiling with kindness. I knew it was his parents because of the older version of him.

Palesa: Yabona bengathi ( if he says) I want you Lisa.... Thixo wamie( My God) I would undress myself right there and then. I laughed and finished the food. She grinned looking at me.

Palesa: You going to be fine, am here for you.

I know and thank you for being my best friend in the whole wild world she grinned and looked at the guy then made a funny face. And I laughed at her....

#2

Tiwa

When everyone was gone and it was my mother family and my father family sitting by the lounge I knew that what Iv been dragging will be happening right now. My mom is not even past 5 hours under ground and already they holding meetings.

Malume: I don’t want you to think that we don’t want you Tiwa.

Oh great, just great. They shipping me off to my father side of the family.

Malume: But your parents planned your life for you long before they passed. Even if they were both alive, this would be happening now. The only difference is, you would be hearing the news from them not us. I looked at my uncle.

Aunt Linda: What Malume is saying this is in the letters that your mother gave us to read before the will is read tomorrow.

I just looked at them.

Malume: Ulobolilwe( you are engaged) I looked at him waiting for the punch line but it never came.

am lost... I mumbled as everyone looked at me.

Malume: What we saying is that a family paid for your hand in marriage. And.....

stop!!! Everyone looked at me as I got up from the chair.

people get lobola by people that they are in a relationship with and am not in any relationship. So who is so crazy to do such?? Everyone was silent.

Iv just buried the only woman that Iv ever loved with all my heart and now you telling me that my mother planned this? She knew and never said anything? She.... I choked on tears forming on my throat.

Malume: Mshana... This is....

No...... I turned and ran out of the house as fast as my legs could vary me. Bayanya!!!( they are crazy!!!)

The hotel

I watched my parents sit down for a light late lunch and I kept my cool.

Mom: You awfully quiet Thulababone.

Just thinking

Dad: About?

nothing worth airing out

They both looked at me. Can’t believe that in this century, we are arranging marriages. What am I going to say to my girlfriend? Why wasn’t I told sooner? Why is my life planned out for me yet everyone is well aware of my plans and what I wish to accomplish. I kept my cool and said nothing. My dad truly believes that a 20 year old is still a child.

Mom: Hopefully she is as calm as she looked.

I looked at my mother not saying a word. I cleared my throat and looked at them.

Iv been dating someone for the past year, Iv been.....

Dad: Not anymore!!!.....

#3

Tiwa

I finally got to the park where I sat by the swing and just let my heart get back to normal and took some few breathes to make sure that I calm down.

Thulababone

I looked at my father and I got up excusing myself from the room and walked to the little garden taking out my phone to a picture of Lethemba and I. I went to my recent calls and her name popped up Lee 💍🌍 I pressed the dial button and off it rang.

Lee: My love....

hey

I heard her shifting and I knew that my voice told her that am not okay.

Lee: wanna talk to me about it?

It not something that I can talk to you about over the phone

Lee: okay... wanna know about my day?

yes please

Lee: well I submitted my assignment on time and I was able to start with the research side of things.

that great babe

Lee:  you really not okay love

yeah but I’ll be fine, we coming back the day after tomorrow and I’ll come see you

Lee: I can come to your place.

I know that wasn’t possible cause I heard my father telling me about moving to a house in Fourways.

Am not more renting that apartment in centurion love, will talk when am back okay? She was silent for a while...

I love you Lethemba, I love you with all of me

Lee: You scaring me.

don’t but just know that I love you!!!

She sighed and we said our goodbyes and I sat there defeated at where my life is at the moment. What the worst that could happen tome if I say no to all this bullshit? Didn’t my dad teach me to be my own man? Didn’t he teach me to stand up for myself?...

Tiwa

I woke up feeling a little tired but I stayed in bed for a while when my phone vibrated and it was Palesa.

Babe, the hot guy car just passed my house am guessing iza apho ( it’s coming there) I jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom took a quick shower wore my long khaki pants and wore a baggy white top and left my room to find the house buzzing with family. Last night when I walked back home majority’s was fast asleep so I never got to talk to them about the big bomb they dropped on me. I walked to the kitchen where they were just going about their business and I stood there.

Malume: the lawyer dropped off those papers for you. I nodded and took the huge and dished out the food that was made for breakfast.

Aunt Cebi: The Zindela family will be here shortly.

I looked at them and noticed they still talking to me.

are they friends of my mother?

Aunt Cebi: The family you are married too.

I chocked on the bangers that I was eating and looked at how calm my family was in all this. Yes I know the only woman who ever cared for me is dead but can they Atleast pretend to be hurtled by this arrange marriage? Can they Atleast pretend that they are worried about me and my well-being?

what are they here for?

There was silence and i watched my father sister look away.

Malume: To take you with them.... I felt my whole world freeze for a minute and I just got up and walked away with blurry eyes opening the door with my chest so tight. I needed air and I needed air fast so I never noticed when the car nearly knocked me off after Iv walked off fast and I never noticed that I was kneeling on the floor trying my best to breathe when the handsome guy grabbed me tight on my shoulders and looked at me with his light brown eyes.

look at me and focus... see how am breathing now do the same and don’t rush it I tried but the more I did it, the worse I got and just like how it has been in a million movies that Iv watched he lowered his head and kissed me. At first it was slowly and I felt my pounding heart slowly go back to a rhythm. I felt my palm move up to his chest and felt my breathing go back to normal and I felt my head get a little lighter. He moved his and I looked away to see that my whole family was looking at us. I watched the older version of him grin, pleased.

Him: You okay?

I nodded. I moved from him fast and grabbed the envelope I dropped. Did I just get my first kiss? Did I really just give myself to a guy I don’t even know. He got up dusting my knees and himself and I stood there for a second getting my brains together.

excuse me before anyone could say anything I ran out of the gate with the envelope on my chest... What the fuck was that!!!!.....

#4

Malume

We watched my sister only daughter run out of the yard. And we stood there.

Aunt Cebi: You did right in giving her, her mother’s letters before the Will is read.

Aunt Linda: 3 Months?

that what the lawyer said, and that what this letter says

Mr Zindela: Has she been told that she leaves with us? And starts a new school Monday?

we didn’t get to that part there was silence for a while.

in 3 months time, we will appreciate it if she makes it to the Will reading

Mr Zindela: No problem and we shall continue with the gifting of the family and of cause the traditional wedding once there are settled.

yes

––––––––

Thulababone

I watched the families talk about us as if we are just a business transaction. And I stood there thinking about the kiss. It wasn’t big or anything,it was just something that I thought of in that moment. I didn’t expect to find soft lush lips and a mouth that was ready to be ravished. I didn’t expect her hand to touch my heart as if listening to my heartbeat. I sat there thinking of the confused look in her eyes.

Dad: Is there anything that you wanna talk about son? I watched the whole family look at me and my mom.

am good

Her uncle looked at me.

Malume: I don’t care that you guys are rich or whatever you do, but if you hit my sister child, I’ll kill you. I nodded, Iv never laid a hand on a woman before plus I doubt that she and I will be married for long right? If I explain to her and be honest with her from the beginning then she would understand if I ask her to end whatever this is am sure she wouldn’t mind right.

Tiwa

I sat for hours not being able to bring myself to open the envelope and when I was feeling a little better I texted Palesa my location and a few minutes later she walked to the park and sat on the other end.

you quiet

Palesa: I had a sit down with my parents this morning.

about?

Palesa: You!

me???

She looked at me with so much pity in her eyes.

Palesa: The black car that here, is here to fetch you? Apparently you married.

oh that we were both silent.

Palesa: Mom says it better this way anyways cause all your family will do is fight over your assets and by the time you need to go to varsity, there would be nothing left.

I kept quiet then looked at her.

I don’t think that my mom did all this, she was so fragile and had days were getting up was such a mission. Where would she find the time and energy to do all this?

Palesa: Maybe your father.

I laughed at that thought.

My dad had cancer, so he was focused on that

Palesa: But it’s possible. He did work in a big company and maybe he meet this family there.

My dad would never do this to me, I don’t even know the guy... heck am not even dating right now , how will I know how to take care of a husband?

Palesa: Did you manage to learn how to cook eggs?

boiled ones, are we gonna have boiled eggs for the rest of our lives?

Palesa: They have money, maybe they have a chef.

maybe

We both kept quiet and swing a bit.

Palesa: Have you guys spoke?

no

Palesa: Hmm, maybe he isn’t a bad lover.

his a good kisser she brake on the swing and looked at me grinning.

Palesa: You have spoke but you kissed?

" right in front of everyone emini ka ba( in broad daylight) she giggled at me.

Palesa: Kisses are done at whatever time of the day but do tell me everything.