GEE 2 - Gender & Society Authors: Atty. Eric Paul D. Peralta Et. Al

GEE 2 – Gender & Society
Authors: Atty. Eric Paul D. Peralta et. al.
LESSON 9 – Love. Intimacy, & Relationship
Lesson Objectives:
When you finish reading this chapter, you should be able to:
1. Define terms such as “love”, “attraction”, “relationship”, and other related terms;
2. Discuss different theories of love;
3. Identify needs, issues, and concerns experienced by people who are in a romantic relationship; and
4. Reflect upon one’s attitude towards love, intimacy, and relationship.
Introduction
In February 15, 2015, an article featuring a study by McCann World Group, among 30, 000 respondents from
29 countries, came out of a national newspaper, bannering the title “Filipinos most expressive about love among
Asia Pacific countries - study” (Hegina 2015). The article presented an interesting result: The Filipino say “I
love you” approximately 17 times in a week, making us sixth among the countries in the survey, which are most
articulate and expressive.
Robert Sternberg, a psychologist renowned for his theory of love asked, in his 1986 paper: “What does it
mean “to love” someone? Does it always mean the same thing, and if not, in what ways do loves differ from
each other?”
In this chapter, we will tackle, perhaps, one of the most complex and celebrated human emotion and experience:
love.
LOVE AS A HUMAN EXPERIENCE
Love is a human experience differently defined and conceptualized.
Love as a culture universal
Love is construed as a culture universal. A culture universal is a phenomenon experienced similarly by people
across time and cultures.
Love as a social phenomenon
Likewise, love is viewed as a social phenomenon. Social phenomena are events or experiences which our
interaction & relationship with other people. Loving entails communication – the process of giving & receiving
information between & among people. It also entails the use of a language – symbols that are culturally agreed
upon as possessing certain meanings & that are used by people to express certain realities and worldviews.
Love as an emotion
Love is also construed as an emotion. Emotions are physiological responses that we evaluate psychologically
as we experience particular life events. There are basic emotions such as joy, sadness, fear, disgust, and anger
among others. There are also complex emotions, which are a combination of basic emotions in varying
magnitudes and are made intricate by circumstances surrounding the experience. Love, as we know it, is a
complex emotion.
Love as a neurobiological event
With recent advancements in science, love, now, can be studied as a neurobiological event. Every split of a
second, information is being passed on within our nervous system – a conglomerate of organs responsible for
our ability to process, and transmit essential information among the many organs in our body.
REXSON D. TAGUBA, LPT
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Neurobiological, the experience of love is associated with various parts of our brain.
Theorizing Love
Since love is a rather complex idea, which can be described, defined and experienced in myriad of ways,
several theories and framework offer diverse perspectives on how it can be understood and explained.
Psychodynamic view of love
Psychodynamic theory is a collective term, which pertains to the psychoanalytic tradition forwarded by
Sigmund Freud (a Viennese neurologist), as well as the succeeding theories that support, redefine, or refute his
propositions.
In a nutshell, the psychodynamic theory posits that we have desires and motives fueled by our life (eros) and
death (thanatos) instincts. For instance, desirable behaviors that promote positive relationship with others might
be viewed as influenced by our life instincts, while aggressive behaviors that hurt, manipulate, or harm
ourselves and others might be viewed as influenced by our death instincts. Both of life and death instincts are
thought to stream from our unconscious – the province of our mind, which we are highly unaware of.
Color wheel of love
John Alan Lee (1973), a Canadian psychologist, suggested that there are different types of love. The primary
types are: eros (sexual and romantic), philia (friendly), and storge (parental/filial love). The secondary types are:
pragma (practical love) agape (universal love), and philautia (self love). It is possible for us to experience not
just one, but two or more of these types of love in our lifetime. A child who loves her parents (storage) might
eventually find new friends whom to like once they go to school (philia) and then experience romantic love
(eros) especially during her youth.
Triangular model of love
One of the most popular theories of love is the triangular model by Sternberg (1986), a psychologist. This
theory looks at love from a psychometric stance, which means that it is generally concerned about trying to
measure love as a psychological variable and in determining the various dimensions and facets that love has as
experienced by people.
According to Stenberg (1986), love has three interlocking

dimensions – passion, intimacy, and commitment.
Passion refers to the physical/emotional aspect.
Intimacy pertains to the psychological/relational aspect.
Commitment pertains to the agency component that is the

choice we mark with regards to engaging and maintaining
the loving relationship. The combination of these
dimensions yields a particular love type.
Romantic and companionate love

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Hatfield and Rapson (1978, 1993), on the other hand, suggests that there are two general types of love:
romantic love and companionate love.
Romantic love is characterized by intense passion – “a state of intense longing for union with your partner”
(Hatfield and Rapson 1987, 1993).
Companionate love, on the other hand, is characterized by intense intimacy – emotional closeness – which is
also characteristic of liking.
Love Languages
Gary Chapman, a world-renown author, suggested that people have various ways through which we give and
receive love. He referred to these unique ways as love languages. Chapman (1995) posited that there are
generally five love languages: namely, words of affirmation, touch, time, gifts, and acts of service.
People whose love languages is words of affirmation tend to verbally express their thoughts and feelings of
love towards the people they love. They may be comfortable saying “I love you’s” and articulating other words
of endearment.
Those whose love language is touch, on the other hand, express love non-verbally through hugs, kisses, or,
simply, a tap on the back.
Those whose love language is time tend to value quality moments with their loved ones. They are much
willing to create memories with the people they love.
Those love language is gifts, want to show and receive affection through material objects, especially during
special occasions.
Finally, those whose love language is acts of service, are much willing to serve the other person by helping
her or him in things that they do.
Name ___________________________________ Year & Section _______________________________
COMMUNICATE. Write down words/phrases or draw symbols which show what comes to your mind
when you hear the word:
Love
Intimacy

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GEE 2 – Gender & Society

Authors: Atty. Eric Paul D. Peralta et. al.

LESSON 9 – Love. Intimacy, & Relationship

LOVE AS A HUMAN EXPERIENCE

Love is a human experience differently defined and conceptualized.

Love as a culture universal

Love as a social phenomenon

Love as a neurobiological event

Psychodynamic view of love

Color wheel of love

Triangular model of love

According to Stenberg (1986), love has three interlocking

Passion refers to the physical/emotional aspect.

Intimacy pertains to the psychological/relational aspect.

Commitment pertains to the agency component that is the

Romantic and companionate love

REXSON D. TAGUBA, LPT

Name ___________________________________ Year & Section _______________________________

REXSON D. TAGUBA, LPT

REXSON D. TAGUBA, LPT

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