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Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons
Recent deaths: Yahya Sinwar • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • American Democrat sea.. err, democracy • Tony Todd
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • The Dallas Cowboys', New York Jets', and Chicago Bears' playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay

FacebookEventLogoReskin.png Today
One way to assure Lightning Awareness is to be struck by it

November 12: Lightning Awareness Day

  • 1513 - In one of his lesser known works, "Mein Scheisskampf", Martin Luther claims to have gotten into a battle with the devil, flinging his "Scheisse" as a weapon. No shit.
  • 1620 - A number of pirates shipwreck on a gigantic rock off the Massachusetts coast. In a measure to combat cannibalism amongst the surviving members, the Mayflower Compact is signed. In the end, however, nine are eaten with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
  • 1775 - American Revolutionary War: The Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of mimes, later renamed the United States Mime Corps. They are primarily used as human shields.
  • 1880 - Ned Kelly is hanged in Australia for beating around the bush.
  • 1996 - The Paris Hilton opens for its first customer.
FacebookNewsFeedLogoReskin.png Recent Changes
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No! You are wrong! I am right!
a few seconds ago • Like • Comment
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At least I have chicken...
2 minutes ago • Like • Comment
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Iz a metaphor, silly. Goats don't lock horns, and humans don't even have physical horns...
5 minutes ago • Like • Comment
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Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Zombiebaron, Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron? Zombiebaron!
8 minutes ago • Like • Comment
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I am a robot from the future.
about an hour ago • Like • Comment
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Needs more work. Against.
2 hours ago • Like • Comment
Featured Post
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In a series of declassified documents containing accounts of wars, rumors of wars, and battles that have no victors or defeated opponents or worldwide destruction that can be defined by any costs or empires captured, there is a hearty bunch of terrified witness to the fact that Cthulhu was a main concern for the multibillionaire corporation known as the Government of the United States. While there does seem to be a list of who was involved directly in the dismantling of the beast known as Mister Squid Face, it's unclear how many from the corporation of the United States had been assigned the task of the impossible conquest to take down an ancient Slime Lord that's been nothing but trouble. (Full article...)

Yesterday's Feature
Infamous posts
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Did you know...
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  • ... that the WWF is the only "sports entertainment" organization endorsed by PETA and Greenpeace? (Pictured)
  • ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
  • ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?


Most Popular Users
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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