My full name is Melissa Monique Segura. My father is half Japanese, half Mexican while my mother is full Mexican. My dad’s mom, Tomie, and her sister, Midori, were born and raised in Japan and eventually moved to the United States after World War II.
I remember very little of my grandmother and her sister. The only memories I have of her stem from stories that my parents would tell me. I remember that she used to go back to Japan with Midori to go visit their family. They would bring us back gifts from their trips. I know her favorite song was Ue o Muite Arukō by Kyu Sakamoto. We played it nonstop by her bedside at the hospital in her final days. I know that she was allergic to raw fish. Maybe this is where I got my scallop allergy from.
She used to hold me and sing songs in Japanese when I was a baby. My parents would tell me how I looked up to her smiling.
I vaguely remember going to San Pedro, California to go visit her at a small nursing home. She lived there alongside her sister. We used to go visit them for the holidays, Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, and whenever we were in the area. They were always happy to see us.
When my grandmother died in 2014, so did my Japanese identity. Her and Midori were the only ones in our family who were able to speak Japanese. Since I was so young at the time, I was unable to ask them questions about their personal stories.
My name gives no homage to my Japanese identity. Most people do not even realize that I am Japanese unless I tell them. I often get mistaken for Filipino due to my tan skin but almond-shaped eyes. My last name has also been mistaken for a Japanese name, which has confused me since my last name holds Spanish origins, meaning “well-defended” or “safe.”
My father does not have a Japanese name either. His full name is Michael Robert Segura, none of which screams out that he is also Japanese.
Despite not being able to fully embrace my Japanese identity, I was still able to get exposure through food. After all, food is the key to the heart. We lived close to a Mitsuwa so I was able to appreciate various Japanese snacks such as dorayaki, tamago boro, and botan ame. When I would get sick, my mom would always buy udon soup from our favorite restaurant. I used to call it my “magic soup.”
Once I reached college, I wanted to start learning more about my lost identity. I joined the Japanese American Student Society at UC Davis (JASS) in hopes of learning more about Japanese culture. There, I was able to learn about special festivals such as Obon and Seijin Shiki (Coming of Age Day). I also met some of my closest friends through joining JASS. Last year I ran and was elected as one of the Social Chairs since I wanted to give back to the community that helped me find my identity.
I went to Japan for the first time in December 2023. It was a life changing experience for me: I was finally able to walk the same streets that my grandmother had decades prior.
I am still actively trying to reconnect with my Japanese roots. I am currently a part of the Nikkei Community Internship, interning for the Japanese American National Museum and the Japanese American Bar Association. It has been very rewarding getting to know members of the Japanese American community; from other students in the cohort to leaders such as Michael Yamaki.
Every so often I wished I had a name that gave homage to my Japanese identity, even if it was my middle name. As far as I am aware, there is no family significance behind my middle name, Monique. Would I consider changing my middle name in the future? I personally would not. I feel like the name I was given was given to me for a reason, even if there is no historical significance behind it.
One day if I decide to have children, I would love to name her after my grandmother. Despite only knowing her for such a small portion of my life, I feel like it is only right to memorialize her in this way.
© 2024 Melissa Segura
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