Chapter Text
i.
Jane is born nearly two weeks early, in the middle of the month. December 16th. Which is probably a more convenient birthday than her actual due date, but nevertheless, Shannon isn’t expecting it.
She’s at Eddie’s house, with Maddie and Christopher. She and Eddie have been slowly moving her into his house in preparation for the baby. The plan is that she’ll stay there for a few months, so Eddie can be around to help. Her apartment is too small for the four of them, so this is the best solution.
So Maddie is over, helping her set up some baby things while Eddie is at work. Not because Shannon and Eddie really need help with the baby stuff, but because Maddie sort of needs someone to talk to. She’s on suspension from work. Not ideal. And the situation is sort of wild, Shannon won’t lie. But she’s empathetic towards Maddie, understands why she did what she did. And she’s sure as hell going to be a listening ear.
Or, at least, she’s going to try. Her water breaking mid-conversation was not on the agenda.
This didn’t happen with Christopher. He was late and she had to be induced, and nothing felt sudden or spontaneous. It was slow and horrible and… Well, neither she nor Chris made it out of that without consequences. Shannon had sort of expected this time to go similarly. She’s honestly been dreading the whole thing.
And now it’s, apparently, here.
“Fuck,” Shannon exhales when it happens, standing in the hallway outside Eddie’s - temporarily Shannon’s - bedroom.
Maddie gives a tiny gasp. “Well, look at that.”
“Shit,” Shannon continues cursing. “Maddie, I’m not ready. I’m supposed to have more time.”
Maddie sort of transforms into nurse mode. Shannon knows this is in her career history, obviously. But she hasn’t actually seen it. Apparently she frequently uses this tone on Buck, though.
“Well, you don’t have time. I’m sorry, but it’s okay. We’ll get you through this.”
“Damn it,” Shannon groans. She hasn’t felt any contractions yet, so this could still take a while. If it goes too long, they’ll induce her again… She can’t do that. Not again. She thinks she’d rather have a c-section. “My body… It’s not good at this. I’m… I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” Maddie says firmly.
“Now, what’s the plan?”
“The plan?” Shannon echoes.
“The birth plan,” Maddie says. “What’s Chris doing? Which hospital? What do you need?”
“Buck was supposed to take care of him,” Shannon says. “But since he’s working, Pepa. Eddie’s aunt. Um, Southern California Hospital. And… And I don’t even have a bag packed yet. Oh god.”
“We’ll figure it all out,” Maddie says. “If you haven’t been having contractions, then we have time.”
“I haven’t,” Shannon confirms.
“Okay, keep me posted,” Maddie says. “Let’s get you ready, alright?”
Shannon nods. As ready as she can be. The first time taught her, that’s not very ready at all.
“I need to call Eddie,” Shannon says. “He can’t miss this.”
But the first time she tries, Eddie doesn’t pick up. Buck doesn’t pick up. And when Maddie tries Chimney, he doesn’t pick up either.
“On a call,” Maddie guesses. “But we have time. They’ll answer.”
By the time they get into Maddie’s car to drop Chris off at Pepa’s, she has a contraction.
▶️
It’s been a little over a month and a half since Buck and Eddie got together. In that time, Eddie has felt a lot of things. Joy. Pleasure. Excitement. But also, the strange sense that he’s living a double life.
He knows he isn’t doing anything wrong. Buck is on board with their arrangement. Shannon knows and is fine with it. Even Christopher knows now. Though that was a very difficult talk. Took him a long while to come around to it. Eddie can’t blame him for that. Maybe he sees Buck as the reason his parents aren’t together. But Buck has nothing to do with it. Chris is warming up to it, Eddie thinks. Seeing them all still get along, Shannon included, is helping. Eddie’s glad; he couldn’t really do something that makes him happy, if it continued to hurt his son.
No one else knows. No one from work. Not even Maddie. Which Eddie knows is hard for Buck. But if Maddie knows, Chimney probably knows. And even Buck agrees that Maddie isn’t in a great place for big news right now.
Hence the double life. Everyone sees him one way; the sad dad whose pregnant wife is divorcing him. But he’s actually not just that anymore. Now he’s something else. Someone else. Yes, his marital situation is still incredibly complicated. Yes, he has a lot of conflicting feelings about it. But for the first time in this entire situation, maybe ever, he feels like he’s really taken control of his own life. Not just by responding to the things that come his way, or doing what he thinks he’s supposed to do. No, more than that. He’s chosen something for himself. Something that makes him less scared for the future. A support he never thought he’d have. A happiness he still doesn’t fully believe he deserves. But somehow, he’s got it.
On December 16th, Eddie is feeling pretty good. Really good. Even with the potential awkwardness of Shannon moving in, he’s in a great mood. He’s excited for his daughter to be born, despite the chaos that will pretty much guarantee. He’s excited to get to be there with her from day one. Chris is thrilled his mom is going to be there all the time for a while. And Eddie knows Buck’s loft is an option for a night or two if they ever need space from each other. It’s all going to be good.
Of course, they’re first responders. They have dangerous jobs. And in the blink of an eye, a call can change that good, secure mood. For example, when an industrial recycling truck hauling radioactive waste crashes in a freeway tunnel, causing a fire that is not the normal color of fire.
It’s a long, terrifying call. Eddie isn’t often scared on calls. Very few things are as frightening as what he saw in the army. The earthquake was nerve-wracking, mostly because he was worried about his son. The tsunami was horrific for similar reasons. The day of the ladder truck bombing, Eddie had been scared for Buck. Today? Today he’s scared for everyone. Mostly for Bobby, but for everyone.
Radioactive waste is on fire. The air is sort of poison, right? The turnouts and other PPE they have doesn’t feel like enough. Eddie’s skin crawls, even though nothing has happened to him. This would be the worst time ever to get radiation sickness.
Bobby has to stay in the tunnel longer than the rest of them. They’re all sort of freaked out. He has to be officially decontaminated and everything. Eddie and Chim are scared, but it’s nothing compared to the look of horror in Buck’s eyes. Eddie wants to take his hand. Squeeze it reassuringly. Hold and tell him it’ll be okay. But he can’t. Not here. So instead, he makes like he’s clapping Buck on the shoulder, and lets his hand linger for a second.
Buck looks at him. Wide-eyed and tight-jawed.
“He’s going to be okay,” Eddie says.
He’s not sure where the confidence comes from. He doesn’t really feel it. All he knows is, despite everything Bobby and Buck just went through with each other, Buck is the person who will worry for him most. There’s a dynamic there that’s different than with anyone else on the team.
“I hope so,” Buck says weakly. “He has to be.”
They take him to the hospital after. The victims are being transferred by another station’s RA unit. It’s not until Bobby has called Athena and been admitted that any of them bother looking at their phones.
“Whoa,” Chim says. “Lots of missed calls from Maddie.”
“Same,” Buck says. “And from Shannon.”
“Shannon?” Eddie asks, looking at his phone. “Oh, shit. Me too.”
“Aren’t they together today?” Chim asks.
“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Fuck.”
He calls Shannon back as quickly as possible. A billion things are spinning in his head. Is Shannon okay? Is Chris okay? Is the baby okay? Maddie was a nurse. If there is some kind of emergency, Eddie is glad she’s with them. Terrified, but glad.
The call picks up after a few rings.
“Eddie? Oh thank god.”
It’s not Shannon. It’s Maddie. On Shannon’s phone.
“What’s going on?” Eddie asks, panicked. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s good. You need to get to the hospital, though,” Maddie says. “Shannon-”
“Which hospital? I’m at the hospital.” Eddie blurts.
“Southern California,” Maddie says. “She’s in labor, and it’s progressing quickly, okay? You don’t have a lot of time.”
Labor? She’s in labor? His daughter is… About to be born? Today?
“Eddie?” Maddie asks when he’s silent for a beat.
“I’m coming,” Eddie says. “I’m coming. I’ll be there. Can you tell her I’m on my way?”
He’s at Cedars. Fifteen minutes away if traffic isn’t bad. Traffic is bad, because of the shutdowns the tunnel fires caused. Shit.
“I’ll tell her. And I’ll keep you updated on progress. It’s moving really fast.”
The complete opposite of last time. Shannon must either be elated or completely freaking out. Maybe both?
“Thanks, Maddie.”
They end the call and Eddie explains the situation to Buck and Chim.
“Take the engine,” Chim says. “I’ll stay with Bobby.”
Eddie looks at Buck.
“You’re coming, right?”
Buck offers him a wide smile. “Someone has to drive.”
🔼
Buck is experiencing a whole new side of Eddie in the drive to the other hospital. Eddie usually manages a pretty steady demeanor in most situations. Takes a lot for him to freak out. For reference? The birth of his child? That makes him freak out. Or at least the possibility of missing it. Not that Buck can blame him. She’s not even Buck’s kid and he sort of feels like if he wasn’t trying to keep Eddie calm, he’d be freaking out a tiny bit, too.
It’s not all bad freaking out. Some of it is positive. He’s a bit like a yoyo.
“We’re really going to meet her,” Eddie says, excitedly to start. “She’s really going to be here.”
“She is,” Buck grins in response.
A few minutes later, as traffic seems to plunge into doom territory, Eddie is filled with despair.
“I made it home from Afghanistan to be there when Chris was born,” he laments. “Afghanistan, Buck! That’s three continents of travel. I had a half day layover in Germany. I still made it home in time. But now I won’t make it across town for Jane?”
Oh boy.
“Eddie, you’ll make it in time,” Buck promises, willing himself to be right. “You’ll definitely make it. I will turn on the siren, I swear.”
“That’s technically not allowed, Buck, I-”
“I’m the one driving,” Buck shrugs, and turns it on.
Immediately, cars start moving out of the way.
“Okay,” Eddie sighs, fitting a headset over his ears. “Alright, good idea.”
“Told you I got you,” Buck smiles.
“I feel like I’m going to puke,” Eddie admits.
“Well, don’t do that. It’ll delay us,” Buck teases.
Eddie just groans.
◀️
Shannon really can’t believe Eddie is going to miss this. If she wasn’t currently experiencing active labor - a much more active labor than her previous experience - she might not be so pissed about it. She understands he was out there, on a call, saving people. Which is good. She won’t die without him, but the people out there in accidents sure might. Whatever. But he should be here. He promised he’d be here every step of the way, and this is a pretty big step. Also, he did this to her. He should at least be here to have his hand crushed and to be snapped at.
“He’s on his way, okay?” Maddie promises. “He’s rushing over.”
Not fast enough.
Not fast enough, because the last time she was checked out, she was told she’s almost ready to start pushing. And even though last time she was told she could start pushing, it took hours and ended in forceps, she’s been assured this is progressing fast and easy. There is nothing easy about it, thank you. But she believes the fast part. She can already just tell, compared to Chris. Their daughter is eager to make an entrance. Which is fine with Shannon. It’s the opposite of what she’d feared.
She just needs Eddie to be here for it.
Shannon’s worried. She’s sad at the prospect of him missing it, mostly for him. But she’s also in a lot of pain, which turns all that to frustration.
“If he’s not here,” she tells Maddie. “I’ll kill him.”
Shannon makes a little grunt of frustration.
“I’ll join you.”
🔼
They make it just in time. Literally, Shannon is starting to push by the time they find her room in the labor and delivery ward. Maddie comes out of the room to usher Eddie inside.
“Get in there now,” she orders.
Eddie accepts his orders like the soldier he is. He only takes a fraction of a second to look at Buck. He grabs Buck’s hand, gives it a squeeze, and then leaves for Shannon. Buck feels himself shaking a little, watching Eddie walk away.
Nothing bad is going to happen. And still, Buck is nervous. This feels like something worth being nervous about. It’s currently the most important thing happening to two people he cares about very much. Two people he loves.
“Evan,” Maddie says sternly, breaking his stare.
He blinks and looks at her. “Hey, uh… We would have been quicker, but the call was rough, and Bobby got hurt, and-”
“What’s going on with you and Eddie?” Maddie asks.
“Wh-what?” Buck asks. “What do you mean?”
“You just told him you love him,” Maddie says.
What? No, he didn’t!
“What?” Buck demands. “No, I didn’t!”
“He held your hand, and then you said love you as he walked away,” Maddie says.
Buck’s jaw drops. “No… No, that doesn’t sound like us.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Buck has ruined everything. Well, okay. Eddie ruined it first. But Buck totally could have played that off as platonic. Maybe he still can?
“That was like a love you, bro type thing,” he adds.
“Does it not sound like you or was it a bro moment?” Maddie challenges.
Fuck.
“Okay, listen, Maddie… It’s still new and we didn’t want to-”
“How could both of you do that to Shannon?’ Maddie hisses. “I’m disgusted!”
“Hey, wait, Maddie-”
“Not because you’re men, so don’t think that! Because that woman is having his child, again, and now, again, he’s not fully there!”
“That’s not-”
“What am I going to tell her? She’s my best friend. You’re my brother. This puts me in a terrible position, Evan!”
“She already knows!” Buck bursts.
Maddie freezes. “Wait, what?”
“Shannon knows,” Buck whispers. “Her and Chris are the only ones.”
“Wha… What?” Maddie asks again.
“Shannon was the one who practically told Eddie to go for it, before I had any idea how he felt,” Buck explains.
“She didn’t tell me,” Maddie says.
“It’s a complicated situation,” Buck points out. “And… I mean, neither Eddie or I are…”
“Out?” Maddie supplies.
“Yeah,” Buck says. “This is a first for us.”
Maddie softens. “But you love him?”
Buck takes a deep breath. “More than anyone I’ve ever been with, Maddie.”
“Oh, man, Buck,” she sighs. “He’s about to have a newborn. And Shannon needs him.”
“I know all that,” Buck says. “I’d never get between them. I really care about Shannon, too.”
He won’t tell her the rest of it. What Shannon had said to Eddie, then to him. Not his story to tell. At least, not yet. Maybe someday he’ll get to.
“And I’m going to help, too,” Buck says. “Where I can. And where I’m wanted.”
Maddie’s expression tightens again. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Evan.”
“I won’t,” Buck says. “I mean… We had a good, long talk. The expectations are clear, okay?”
Maddie purses her lips. Buck can tell she’s not sold.
“Well, you’re an adult,” she sighs. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
◀️
Jane is born less than two minutes after Eddie walks into the room. Shannon suspects that’s all she was waiting for. She couldn’t be born without her dad. Shannon can’t help but wonder if that’s a precedent for how their relationship will be going forward. She carries the kid for nine months, and Jane is already obsessed with Eddie. Classic.
She can’t really be that upset though. In fact, she’s not. Not at all. It was an easy labor. It hurt like hell and sucked, overall. But overall, compared to her experience with a really bad delivery, this was hardly a drop in the bucket. And when they hand her her baby, it’s all erased anyway. Her baby is here and she’s healthy and she’s got both her parents here. It’s all Shannon could have asked for.
Eddie seems just as happy. Shannon can see the boy he was - because truly, they were both just kids - when Christopher was born. Shaking and grinning and overwhelmed by it all. But she also sees someone else. Someone he has become, since then. He cuts the cord with no hesitation. He holds his baby with no trepidation, talking to her and being goofy with no signs of any fear. He just seems lighter. Less of a boy trying to be a man, and more of a man living in the present moment. And Shannon’’s not sure how much of that she’s ever seen from him before.
“She’s got my eyes,” Eddie says, crying a little while he holds her.
“She does,” Shannon smiles, seconds away from crying again herself.
“That’s crazy,” Eddie laughs. “I was just expecting another mini-you.”
“Nope,” Shannon laughs. “This one’s all you. God help her.”
Eddie rolls his eyes, but he’s still beaming.
“She’s perfect,” Eddie says, looking back at her. “She’s perfect, Shannon.”
“She is,” Shannon agrees, voice cracking from emotion. She’s so perfect. She’s everything. And, right now - in this moment - Shannon doesn’t even feel guilty about it. She doesn’t even feel like she’s done anything wrong. Her daughter is here and everyone is happy.
There are only a few things missing.
“We need to call your aunt,” Shannon says. “I want Chris here to meet her.”
Eddie nods. He hands Jane back to Shannon.
“I’ll call her,” he says. “We’ll get him down here. He’ll be psyched.”
He will. He will. He’s been so excited to meet her.
“And, um… And Maddie and Buck,” Shannon says. “They… They’re waiting out there, right?”
“Buck won’t have left,” Eddie agrees.
“They’re going to be part of her life,” Shannon says. Because she knows. She knows Buck isn’t temporary for them. She really believes Maddie isn’t, either.
“I’ll get them,” Eddie promises.
He gets up to go, kissing Shannon’s forehead before he does. She doesn’t know if it was even intentional or not. But she’s glad for it. Whatever else is between them, they have this moment or complete joy. And he’s not running away in a week. He’s going to be here.
And if Eddie is here, Jane and Chris will always be okay.
▶️
Eddie moves at anti-hospital-policy speeds to the waiting room.
He finds Buck and Maddie sitting together, but they’re not really talking. They’re even kind of pointed away from each other in their chairs. Huh.
They both look at him.
“So?” Maddie asks.
“Shannon would very much like it if you both came and met Jane,” Eddie grins. There are still tears in his eyes.
Buck beams. “We can meet her?”
There’s something glowing about his eyes. Like he couldn’t be more excited to meet Jane if she were his own kid. And that thought sort of trips Eddie up. What will Buck be to Jane? He’s already so much to Chris. But… But hopefully, Buck will always be in Jane’s life. Hopefully, he’ll be just as much to her as he is to Chris. Maybe more, if she can’t remember a time without him. Hopefully she will always have three people she can come to, instead of two or even one.
“Yeah,” Eddie nods, teary eyed. “Please come meet her.”
Buck practically leaps to his feet. He crosses the waiting room and pulls Eddie into a big hug, clapping Eddie’s back.
“Congratulations, Eddie,” he says. “I am so happy for you. And Shannon, obviously.”
“Yeah,” Maddie says, walking up to them. “Congratulations, Eddie.”
Her voice is sort of tight. Like she’s not entirely sincere or happy with him. Eddie doesn’t know why. Is she actually annoyed it took them so long to get there? When they were at a radioactive tunnel fire? Jesus. He did the best he could. She’s dating a firefighter. She should get it.
Whatever. Eddie’s not going to let it ruin his mood. He has a daughter and she’s perfect. Nothing can ruin that.
“Thank you,” he says, before leading them back towards Shannon’s room.
A minute or two later, after lavishing Shannon in praise and congratulations, Buck is holding Jane. The third person - beyond the medical staff - to do so.
“Hi, Jane,” he says, rocking her a little. His eyes are full of tears. Again, like she’s his. “Hi, prettiest baby ever.”
Eddie’s heart is entirely warm. He looks over at Shannon. Her expression says the exact same thing.
There had been a delicate balance between them last time. Eddie about to run again. Shannon trying to plea with him - in her own way - not to. Medallions and reminders of who needed him. This time? This time Eddie is entirely certain no one is leaving. Not himself. Not Shannon. In a strange turn of events, he feels nothing but optimism.