Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Part 1: Well now what?

Scott, Emma, and Erik (Magneto) were gathered round a table in a small conference room. Kitty and Illyana had just departed; Illyana was returning Kitty to the Jean Grey School so she could gather her students and explain what was about to happen. The negotiations were done and agreements reached. Professor Kitty would be bringing herself and her students to Scott's new school.

Scott was still rattled at his near death at the hands of Kitty. Emma was trying to play it cool but she was also unsettled. Erik was reserved, as always.

"It will be good to expand the student roster" was Erik's rather plain statement. "Allows for expanded interactions amongst the new students. Plus, having a cadre of higher trained student will facilitate the learning experience for the less skilled in many ways; rather like having upper classmen I suspect".

Time for a very important and long overdue discussion thought Scott. He initiated that discussion.

"I almost died out there Erik. Just an unphased hangnail away from death. I have... concerns about Magik's decision making process".

"She's not crazy Scott" Emma stated. "Well, at least a lot less crazy now. As bizarre as this sounds this is a good thing".

Scott was somewhat incredulous. "Good?! I seem to recall that you were the one that said she scared the hell out of you".

Emma continued. "She still does. But this is likely, in part, my fault".

"How Emma?" asked Erik. It was not often that the white queen admitted a failing of any sort.

"As you both know, Illyana and I continue to have therapy sessions". No need to talk about all the sessions, some had been quite unprofessional, but fun, and Scott would get all moody if he knew. "Illyana has always been.... hesitant in many things despite experiences to the contrary".  

"Hesitant? Emma! Kitty had her God Damned hand in my head". Scott's response was not helpful.

"Yes darling, I'm sure it was very uncomfortable. So rare to see our Kitty actually unsheathe her claws, but back to the topic at hand. Personnel interactions are... kept away by our Illyana, as you well know Scott. You were in her head, hell we were both in her head back when we were Phoenix. You know the mess that's in there".

Emma continued. "She absolutely believed herself to be unredeemable. She rather deliberately keep all of her former friends at arms length and went to great lengths to motivate them to abandon her. Well... things are different now. Whatever that beast Dormmanu did to her has resulted in some complications. Good complications all in all".

"Like Kitty's hand in my head"?

Erik had his concerns about Illyana, but seeing Scott all worked up was... somewhat entertaining and rather therapeutic for him. Nice to see the shoe on the other foot as it were.

Emma was sympathetic. "It's ok to be upset Scott dear. Feel free to keep shouting about Kitty's hand until you get it out of your system". Ok, maybe not as sympathetic as Scott would have liked.

Emma returned to her main point. "She... wants now. Wanting is a good thing. Complex human feelings have returned. She's trying to interact with people she's driven away. Interact in a way that does not involve slaying them, torturing them, harming them, you get the gist".

Erik got to the point. "What did you do Emma"?

"I had her make a list. Of ten things she wants. The list was for her and not for others, even me, to read. She was quite grumbly about it, considered it a waste of time. Then I told her to then make a list of actions for each item on her list. Actions on what she could do to attempt to make things on her list come true. She protested for awhile but then got that contemplative look in her eye that so concerns those of us who know her best. She really is a good planner when she sets her mind to something. In some ways even better then you Scott".

Emma concluded. "She's.... more complete now. She's actually acting on wants. She wants to fix her friendship with Kitty and this was a way to prove to Kitty just how much she's willing to do for her. I was able to scan Kitty, Kitty did not share her plans with Illyana, she thought that she had tricked Illyana into leaving the two of you alone so she could have a heart to heart talk with you".

"Great. Rather sure Illyana was not tricked. So not feeling very secure right now. She almost got me killed and none of you showed up to help".

"Well" Emma opined. "She did restrain us and was rather blunt about it. Said she was helping a friend and I got the mental impression that she believed she was helping you both. One has to admit that it did allow our Kitty to work out some issues, and you as well. I can't say I approve of the therapy technique, but the results do look promising for all involved".

At this point there was a knock at the door.

Scott massaged his brow. "Come in Magik, we were just talking about you".

The door opened and Illyana entered the room. She did not have her sword about her. She stood rather then sit.

"I hope this don't mean you're planning on locking me up again".

"Like we even could" stated Erik. "I always suspected that you were never truly confined in Utopia".

Illyana looked Scott and then Emma in the eye. "I was. I gave my word, the physical security was just extra. As you both knew after we became... well became".

"So were do we go from here"? Scott asked. Heck, make Illyana come up with a solution.

"I acted only somewhat impulsively. Kitty wanted the opportunity to kill you, but really wanted to be talked out of it. In truth she wanted to talk to you about how much you had hurt her. I left... certain safeguards in the event she actually tried to kill you; I didn't want Kitty doing something she'd later regret. I have... too many of these already, don't need to add more to the pile.  You both needed to talk. Well, you talked".

Both Emma and Erik exhaled and relaxed. Erik couldn't help but wonder how Scott felt getting a dose of his own decision making.

"I apologize for the abruptness of it but I think you all agree that the outcome is to the school's satisfaction".

Ends don't justify the means. An argument that nether Emma or Erik could really make. And Scott, well Scott had been making decisions that rather excluded him from making such an argument as well.

And Illyana? Two words, Hell Lord. Hell Lords always tend to look at the end results and not the means.

"How do you feel about this Illyana" Emma asked. A much better question it turned out.

"Somewhat guilty. Guilt at several levels which I find... surprising. But it would be nice to have Kitty around again, I've... missed her. Missed a lot of things".

Progress thought Emma. Progress.

Chapter Text

Part 2: Just who is getting SHIELDEed anyway?

Part A: Ruminations upon the request

One of Director Hill's lieutenants asked her a candid question. Miss Hill had returned to the SHIELD helo carrier once Illyana had teleported herself and the young X-men, plus Laura, to the ruined island of Utopia off of the San Francisco bay. Hill and her subordinate (Frank was his name) were in her office, she was sitting behind her desk and Frank was sitting on a couch.

"Was that... prudent Director Hill"?

"Looking for solutions that doesn't involve fighting Frank" was her reply. "Last time I checked I don't recall SHIELD coming out on top on these little encounters and the paperwork for the budget impact of all the damage and ordinance expended keeps giving me writer's cramp. My God, the number of forms is astonishing. If Hydra wanted to paralyze SHIELD that's where I'd start. Just hack our administrative processes and procedures. Drown us in paper work... Hmm, Frank I want a Tiger team to review SHIELD procedures to make sure that hasn't happening".

Director Hill was giving vent to one of her pet peeves. Gave her something to complain about while she sat around wondering what, if anything, was going to go wrong. There were just so many ways things always went wrong when dealing with Mutants.

"Yes Ma'am, I'll get right on it. I mean trusting her, this Miss Rasputin. Her file is very incomplete and has quotes from many of her past associates indicating that she is... unpredictable and prone to violence and... leaving details out. Not to mention the noticeable lack of trust that many of her former associates have also expressed about her".

"Yea, but deal with the cards we got. She was part of Utopia, a former Phoenix 5 member, and I hope somebody who will be able to figure something out".

"And the Jean Grey School..."?

"Mostly home to folks who left Utopia when they had that little schism thing with Summers. Likely would discuss it to death first. The Avengers probably would go in swinging which is the last thing I want. Considering the alternatives, I think I ended up drawing a good card".

"In what way Ma'am"?

"She barely spoke, let the kids do the chatter, and appeared to really think about what I said. Body language implied that she recognized something, or thought that she did. Then she announced the decision, warned us to not follow, and teleported everybody away".

Director Hill got up from her chair and pored herself a cup of coffee (decaf for those who want to know, she drinks a lot of coffee).

"She's in change. That's obvious, even if some of the folks she's with don't quite understand that. You've read all of her file, right Frank"?

"What parts of it I'm allowed access to. Kind of noticed that there were locked sections that lower classified folks wouldn't even know existed. She's an odd one from what I could read. Supposedly died, yet showed up years after her death all grown up. Summers ended up locking her up for some reason, yet put her on that Extinction team of his before the whole Avengers/Mutants blowup over the Phoenix".

Director Hill took a sip and then replied. "She did die Frank, and no she's not back from the dead as it were. Something's back, but we were never able to get a clear answer as to exactly who. For some reason none of her former associates really ever speak of it. But notice that Scott blasted Summers always kept her close, even after he locked her up. Teleportation is the least of her abilities, although really flashy and useful. No, she's a big hitter, major sorceress, and we think something more...".

"More what Ma'am"?

"More lethal to say the least. Let's just say somebody you really don't make oaths with when you're not planning on keeping your side of the bargain".

Part B: Waiting for the other shoe to fall

Illyana had returned with the X-Kidletts and had ported them to the SHIELD helo carrier. The kids had delivered the bad news (all the mutants were gone, bummer). Yea right, like that was believed. Then they had asked Director Hill why the Utopians were not allowed to live there any more, after all it had been their home, before they also departed.

Director Hill kept waiting for the other shoe to fall as it were. That little private chat where threats are made. The kind of grandstanding that Summer's always liked to do, he so liked being the top dog and letting you know it.

She waited all the day. Nothing.

Damn, so it happens when I go to sleep. Either I'm kidnapped in my sleep or it's a dream sequence. She went to sleep annoyed, waiting for the interruption. But again nothing. Just a dream where she... well it was a private dream but let's just say Summers got a good spanking and she woke up feeling rather guilty about having such a dream; not about the spanking but about the other parts of the dream were she... well lets just say it's private and move on.

Nothing at breakfast, or all throughout the day.

It was 2:30pm and she was working in her office alone when she noticed the scrap of paper on her desk. She would have sworn it was not there the last time she looked (it wasn't). Just a phone number and the initials IR.

After some brief thoughts Director Hill dialed the number, while having it traced. The trace log said that the phone call went to a cell phone in New York Central Park. After three rings Illyana answered with a pleasant tone.

"Hello Director Hill. Thanks for the call. I'd like to briefly talk with you. Is now a good time for you"?

Ok, not expected. Her file did not indicate... such good social skills. Director Hill had been expecting to be whisked away via a teleportation portal, as had happened before, but Illyana appeared to be playing this politely. Directory Hill decided to play along.

"Now's a good time. I assume you'd like to meet in person. My office or somewhere more private".

"I believe you like coffee Miss Hill and I know a little place that serves very good coffee; not that I'm partial to coffee, but an acquaintance of mine preferred her whole bean coffee from there. I can port you there but please let your security know that you're not being kidnapped or something".

"Porting is fine. I'll let my detail know that I'm taking a quick jaunt".

Director Hill hung up and let her security know that she was about to be ported away. They were not happy but such was their lot in life.

A minute later she suddenly appeared in doorway of rustic coffee shack. The walls were make of old wood. There were only a few tables, all empty, and a simple coffee bar with a gleaming antique copper espresso maker of daunting complexity. Plus, an assortment of pastries under glass. There was a young Polynesian looking woman behind the bar with the name tag Mamma.

The air was warm and humid. There was no air-conditioning, just an old ceiling fan slowly revolving. There was a variety of glass coffee jars behind the counter and the prices were marked on a big slab of slate that was hung from the ceiling. The prices were... high.   Very high. And all the beans were Hawaiian. The smell of fresh roasting coffee filled the air and was mouth watering wonderful. Director Hill hypothesized that she was on the West cost of the big island of Hawaii.

Illyana was sitting at a two person table, facing the doorway, munching away on a chocolate croissant and having a coffee based drink (peppermint latté). She waved at Director Hill. She was dressed in civilian clothes instead of her field costume, it was a light blue shirt with pair of cut-off jeans.

Director Hill noticed that her own clothing had changed into a red Hawaiian flower pattern shirt, a pair of dark blue shorts, and flip flops. Impressive little display, which was likely the point.

Director Hill walked in and sat down in the empty chair. Illyana finished chewing, swallowed, and then spoke.

"Order what you want. My treat, but don't get too used to it".

Director Hill mostly drank decaf, but this looked like a good time and place to make an exception. She got back up and went over to the coffee bar and ordered a triple espresso with no sugar or cream. After walking back to the table, where she stood as she waited while the coffee was being made, she made a statement about where they where.

"Kona coast I presume".

"Yep, Emma adores the coffee from this place. You so don't want to get between her and her morning coffee".

"Why the invite"?

"Well... I wanted to thank you for letting... us handle that little problem. Rounded up some wayward kittens".

Hmm, not even pretending that what the X-kids had said was true thought Director Hill. Wonder way? She replied while glancing around.

"Can you get to the threatening phase first? I always like to get that out of the way when I'm conversing with a semi wanted individual".

Illyana took a sip of her drink, than replied with a slightly amused expression.

"I wasn't planning on making any threats, but I can if it will set you at ease. I'll have to warn you that I'm inadequate at laughing manically, just can't get the proper motivation.  

This is so not going how I thought it would thought Director Hill. Illyana's file indicated that she was good at manipulating people. Director Hill was finding that the file was very correct.

Said file was thin. Not much detail as Illyana had mostly kept to the background. But... one section stuck in Hill's mind, the physiological profile section, and a photo of Illyana in her Darkchilde incarnation (the photo was in the locked section that only the highest cleared folks could access).

The physiological profile spent a great deal of time discussing the differences between a Psychopath vs. Sociopath; which can be summarize by nature vs. nurture. Psychopaths are born that way, sociopaths are formed by long term abuse. The SHIELD psychoanalyst jury was out on Illyana, but the general consensus was that she had strong aspects of both. Like due to the years of abuse as a child (nurture) and... and that photo implied more then a little nature as well.

Let's try a conversational reply while I wait for coffee was Director Hill's thought.

"I'd have thought you'd have that down pat. After all, you've been hanging out with Magneto and he was a grand master of the evil gloat. Summers tended to have a more snide in your face kind of delivery".

Illyana replied after a sip. "Well, never really saw that side of Erik, but when he was my Headmaster, back in school, he so did love to shout. I never was on the receiving end of snide from Scott; frustration and anger but never snide. I suppose Emma was my main mentor, she did teach me about... quite a few things, but I also learned things from Scott as well".  

The coffee order was up. Director Hill got her cup and took a sip. It was good. Real good. She didn't think it was a good as the prices indicted, but it was good coffee. She walked back to the table and sat down. Illyana then asked a question.

"So do you still want some threats? I'm sure I can come up with something".

"No, I guess we're good. So what do you want to talk Miss Rasputin, and why did you let the kids do all the talking"?

Illyana nibbled on her croissant before replying. She answered with a question.

"How hard is it for you to recover from your mistakes Miss Hill"?

"Depends on the mistake. Some of them have been real doozies. I've always found that it's way harder to fix something you've broken then to avoid breaking it in the first place. That's why I approached your group in an attempt to deal with Utopia in a non confrontational way".

Illyana thought briefly before answering.

"I haven't always... made the right choices despite how utterly sure I was at the time. I'm better now, or so I think. But... my prior mistakes leave me with uncertainty. Am I still unknowingly blind to things? The power to make choices is not the same as wisdom or insight. I let... select folks led in certain areas until I decide I need to overrule them. I don't like... being wrong about things I care about. Changing the outcomes and directions of other's lives for the negative is not... pleasant when that was not the actual intent".

"But you could just go back in time and fix it" quipped Hill. Yea, she knew it was not that easy, but Director Hill was also very good at manipulating people. Make Illyana talk more, get a better feel for how she thinks and acts.

Illyana answered while shaking her head no. "Then it becomes fake. Reality slowly loses definition. Everything and everybody becomes... meaningless. It's... not a good way to live. I know, I've been there".

"Ok, I can accept that. But why did you want to talk to me"?

Illyana leaned back and took a slurp of her drink and gave Director Hill and assessing look.

"I was unaware that you knew where we were. I suppose it was inevitable with all the others knowing. X-Men, Hulk, various drop bys. I had thought that SHIELD did not know though. Hmmm, do I, and those who reside with me, have anything to be concerned about? Is SHIELD going to get stupid and try to barge in and arrest or detain some or all of us"?  

Director Hill took a sip of her drink before answering. "Not at this time. I'd prefer SHIELD try to avoid more... entanglements with mutants. My budgets keep getting blown and you just vanish anyway. No... you're safe for now, unless you and yours engage in activity that really brings down the hammer".

"I see". Was Illyana's reply. "Well, you have my phone number if you need to get in contact with me or the group. I suppose contact will allow us the opportunity to avoid... issues. I'd prefer not to see any uninvited flying battleships in my backyard again".

"Noted" was Director Hill's reply. "Um... were you in central park or was that just a spoof"?

"Spoof. Next time the trace will show a White House bathroom or something".

Director Hill asked an odd question. But those who were cleared to read all of Illyana's file would understand why she asked it and that it was not odd.

"So... I take it SHIELD and I are not on your enemies list"?

Illyana coolly examined Director Hill as Illyana finished off her drink. "No Director Hill, you are not on my enemies list. That list is empty, it wasn't at one time. You'd know if you were on it. Hmm, actually you wouldn't know now that I think about it. You just wouldn't... be. Is that threatening enough for you"?

"Yea, that kind of is".

With a flash Director Hill was back in her office. She had a lot to think about.

Chapter Text

Part 3: Welcome to the new Xavier school for very gifted mutants who have nowhere else to go

Illyana gathered everybody together two days after the Utopia refugees were brought to the New Xavier school, the repurposed former Weapon-X facility.

It was the morning of the second day, the Utopians had arrived in the evening two days ago. Sleeping arrangements had been sorted out and everybody had crashed for the night (it had been a rather stressful day). The following day had mostly been sleeping in late, bit of poking around, chit chat, and general malaise. Illyana was off doing something and was not present for most of the day, everybody else mostly just de-stressed.

Boom Boom (Tabitha Smith) had slept in late, then went on an ice cream eating binge, followed by the consumption of alcohol and a three hour soak in Emma's no longer secret jacuzzi bathtub (she'd jimmied open Emma's bedroom door). Followed by more naps and other binging activities (yea, she was in a bit of a mood).

Madison Jeffries had spent the day poking around in the technical innards of the new facility and conversing with the young Henry (the Beast). This allowed him to get up to speed on what had been happening.

Masque mostly sulked, something he was quite good at.

Marshall Evan Stone III (Random) hung out, did a workup in the new danger room. Conversed with the kids (the All New X-Men), and generally spent the day scoping out the place.

Joshua "Josh" Foley (Elixir) slept in, then hung out with Marshall as well. He found the new X-kids to be rather interesting.

Xi'an Coy Manh (Karma) was also mostly not present. She had gotten up early, did a workout, then had vanished (She'd asked Illyana to port her to New York so she could take care of some business, she returned that night)

The morning of the second day Illyana welcomed everybody and briefly went over the rules of behavior while everybody had a continental breakfast in the large living room.

No planning world dominion.

No fights with Shield.

No robbing banks or engaging in terrorist activities.

No stalking or attacking your fellows.

No fighting with the Storm and the Jean Grey School.

Not everybody was ready to listen.

Boom-boom had her arms crossed as she popped a chewing gum bubble. Her body language was one of rejection. She asked Illyana a question while slightly sneering.

"Who died and put you in charge"?

In hindsight the question could have been better phrased; but the answer rather explained the facts of life very quickly.

"Me and me" was Illyana's answer. Then she provided more detail.

"Scott, Emma, Erik, and I refurbished this facility. We ran it together, but they're now gone. I'll let my second in command explain the rules to all of you newcomers in private".

"Yea, and who's that" Boom Boom replied with her usually candor and sarcasm. "Like I'd be any more included to listen then I am now. I mean, last time I checked you were a net case so just which one of these kids did you decide was qualified to be in change of all the adults? I'll bet it's Summers junior, he always did get off on telling everybody what to do".

Boom Boom looked over to where the others were sitting, the X-Kidletts (Scott, Henry, Jean, Bobby, Warren, and Laura) and then continued.

"You know she's nuts, right? I mean really crazy. Did she bother to tell you about how she almost destroyed reality? How she let her teammates be abused and tortured? Or how the real Scott Summers locked her crazy ass up? Or that time she tortured kids in Limbo? Bet those little details got left out".

Laura was sitting on a couch with Warren, she was leaning against him and rather enjoying the experience (not that she'd ever admit it). Laura's eyes narrowed in irritation as she listened to the denouncements of Illyana and she snik'd out the two blades on her left hand.

Jean made a hand placating jester to Laura, from where she was sitting, as she spoke.

"No, actually those details were not left out. Professor Kitty was quite... explicit in detailing Professor Magik's prior behaviors and activities. In addition Professor Magik has been very forthright on her past. Plus we've spent quite a bit of time with her both here and... well across the galaxy".

FLASHBACK

Kitty had gathered the X-kidlets in the JGS (Jean Grey School). commemorative garden, actually beneath the statue of the no longer departed Colossus (the current one, not the one from the future who died).

Kitty briefly went over the situation and her conclusion that they, and therefore her, could no longer stay in the JGS. She laid out what she believed the alternatives were and what her recommendation was (which was going to the New Xavier School run by Scott Summers).

Suffice it to say that there was discussion, a lot of discussion. But in the end they all agreed that it sounded like the best choice out of a set of universally bad choices. Bobby had briefly urged Doctor Doom but had been out voted (he didn't really mean it, he was just being a bit of a jerk). But now the issue at had was how to leave.

"And after all of this their just going to let us leave"? Asked Jean with a tone of mild disbelief. "Scott and I left before and we were pursued. What would make this any different"?

"Illyana" Was Kitty's reply. "Most of folks here are rather scared of her and... well getting between Illyana and a stated goal of hers tends to be a very bad ida".

"Most?" interrupted Bobby. "Um... all would be a better answer. From the school gossip she's demented or evil or crazy or all of the above, and way scary at times. I also distinctly recall you not trusting her and telling everybody that ".

Kitty sighed. "Yea, Illyana's had... issues and problems. She died, was brought back after five years and... well it apparently wasn't nice which is kind of like saying a super nova can give your sunburn. Moreover, she was missing her soul which kind of drove her even more nuts then the... abuse left her. She was left crazy, but in that kind of crazy that is also very rational when it come to planning and execution of said plans. I... I don't think she got the help she needed".

Kitty finished. "She's strong, dangerous, prone to violence and has been unstable until recently".

Scott injected "And these are good reasons to go off with her"?

Kitty responded. "Yea they actually are. As I said before I think she's one of the few people that the JCS will... well will not go against to retrieve you guys if Illyana actively stated that she would fight for you to make your own choices".

"But why would she do this?" asked Hank.

"Because I asked her to and she agreed". Answered Kitty.

"Umm, why would we matter to her?" asked Jean.

Kitty was blunt. "You don't, I do. Illyana is... sorry for some issues that happened between the two of us. This is a way of trying to say sorry to me. She's trying to reach out and that's... that's a good thing".

Illyana had so let Kitty down. But... but Illyana's PG-13 version of what had happened to Illyana (and she was very certain it was in reality XXX or worse) left Kitty... left her feeling that while Illyana had failed, that there was likely more then a little bit of anti Illyana bias in people's behaviors. Something Illyana had always had issues with even back when she was in High School.

Scott wasn't sure. "Can she be trusted? Nobody at the JCS trusts her, and Bobby's right, since when did you start trusting her Professor Kitty"?

Kitty was brief but honest. "Illyana and I had a talk after her brother from the future died. Later she showed me that she was willing to... well to prove herself to me. She was willing to... let me decide what to do about a problem I had. It sufficed, I trust her in this. I think it's the best option we have".

There wasn't much to say. They took a final vote, it was unanimous.

Kitty spoke to the air. "Ok Illyana, would you please appear".

There was a flash of light as a small teleportation disk appeared off to the side of the group. Accompanying the disk was the flaming flickering of bones, and monsters that now sometimes appeared frequently whenever Illyana teleported. The disk, and the flaming flickering was gone leaving just Illyana in her rather revealing black costume.

"Yikes" shuddered Bobby. Those flames always gives me the creeps.

Illyana spoke "Inadvertent side affect, still haven't managed to always suppresses them".

"Side affect of what?" asked Bobby who was always nosy.

"Consuming the power of Limbo. There was a problem and everybody was going to die. I found a... rather unique solution. I'm stilling in the process of dealing with the consequences of that solution".

Jean looked over Illyana, both visually and telepathically. Yep those mind shields that all the telepaths spoke about were back. Not a chance to see under the covers as it were.

But before, when Illyana's dead brother had been sent back to the future there had been, cracks as it were and the intensity of the grief and self condemnation that has poured out of those cracks had been intense. Like a bandage that had healed inside a wound with the ends sticking out of the scar tissue. Then it had been as if all had been ripped off in a massive bleeding wound even worse then the one the original. It was the self condemnation that made Jean want to trust her.

But Jean wanted a few questions answered first by Illyana. "Why are you willing to help us now"?

Illyana glanced at Kitty. "Because Kitty asked me to".

"And that's all it took"? asked a rather doubtful Jean.

"Yes".

"Why"?

"That's... between Kitty and I. It's personal. Suffice it to say that I am attempting to make amends".

"For what?" asked Bobby.

Kitty injected "It's personal Bobby, leave it be".

"Ok" Jean shifted topics. "You're willing to help us. But why didn't you ever try to force us to return to our own time? You said more then a few times that we should but you never acted upon it and you are one of the few people who could; assuming that it would have worked better then the time cube".

Illyana answered. "Because you didn't all want to return. And I have grown somewhat hesitant in forcing my own decisions upon others. My track record in that regard has left me... questioning my judgment when dealing with certain... matters. I had blind spots, now... now I wonder if I still do".

"The kids at this school say a whole much of things about you, none of it good. Are they correct"?

"Yes in many ways. I... was not as I am now".

"What are you now"?

"Integrated with my soul".

It... sufficed. Best of a bad set of choices.

END FLASHBACK

"So just who is this new lieutenant?" asked Boom-Boom.

Illyana looked over to Karma who had the good graces to look embarrassed for Boom-Boom.  Karma answered.

"That would be me now Boom-Boom so can the attitude before you make yourself look even worse. Jesus, just how many triple espressos did you have this morning? I know the coffee is good but try decaf next time".

Chapter Text

Rather disliked how Marvel depowered her and de-Valkyrie her. Rather a waste of a good character but I can only suppose she's not much of a fan favorite as she keeps getting tossed (ahh how fickle is fame). I believe that Danielle was really the only true friend that Illyana had on the New Mutants team, most were just teammates and most felt very guilty after Illyana erased (let's be honest here killed) herself.

As such I really think that Illyana would eventually try to deal with Danielle and the trauma that Illyana left in her wake. Oh, this chapter is a tie in on Cats cradle chapter 15. All of my writing is interconnected so I don't really make minor comments that don't have a back-story (which does not necessarily mean I ever get around to writing that back-story) but I did this time.  

Likely everything I write in this chapter will get recon'd out of existence by Marvel as we learn about the missing eight months, but what the heck, Dani deserves it.

Part 4: Mirages

Dani surveyed at the crowd in the coffee house from behind the coffee counter where she was currently a barista (she was working part time at the Coffee Bean and Tee Leaf in San Francisco at Embarcadero Center). The pay was marginal but the shared tips were good and the management wasn't a bunch of jerks so it was an adequate temporary gig while Dani pondered what the hell to do. There was a lull in the bustle, nobody was in line and there were no current orders to work off.

The New Mutants had broken up awhile ago, everybody had gone their separate ways so now it was just Dani. Again. Not an unusual state of affairs for her but... rather annoying and mildly depressing.

"Crap" Dani grumbled to herself. "Shield and the Avengers hire non super powered folks all the time. They ever have multiple archery based members and I can handle a bow just as good as they can. I should apply, can't believe they haven't already tried to head hunt me. Rouge would put in a good word for me if I asked. I should...".

But that would mean actually working for Shield or the Avengers and those organizations were not high on her list of places she wanted to be; and truth be told they would likely not have her. But it's easier on the ego to do the rejecting then to be rejected.

The store had the radio on as back ground noise and tuned to the classic rock station that the manager liked. Currently Secure Yourself by the Indigo Girls was playing which was rather odd as it was certainly not a classic rock song.

In the ink of an eye I saw you bleed;

Through the thunder I could hear you scream,

Solid to the air I breath,

Open-eyed and fast asleep.

Falling softly as the rain;

No footsteps ringing in your ears.

Ragged down worn to the skin,

Warrior raging, have no fear.

Secure yourself to heaven.

Hold on tight, the night has come.

Fasten up your earthly burdens,

You have just begun.

...

...

Right at the lyric (the night has come) was when she saw it. The blond who'd come in with the chop sticks in her hair, who had ordered the Russian black tee, she... morphed. No longer was there a rather non descript blond female sitting in the booth, instead it was her, Magik; and she was wearing a black field costume; the one that Dani had seen her wearing in the news. A very tight and revealing black field costume.

"Crap" Dani again grumbled. "I so hope this isn't some prelude to a battle. I need this job".

Illyana caught Dani's eye and gestured to the chair opposite her while having an inquiring expression. Dani was about to shake her head no when her supervisor came over and told her that it was time for her lunch break.

Dani was about to protest that she had just gotten back from her lunch break an hour ago when she paused. Ok, go with it. Some minor trick of Illyana's. Get this over with as quick as possible.

Dani exited the employee only area behind the counter and walked over to where Illyana was sipping her tea.

"Illyana..." said Dani with a cold tone and and expression.

"D" replied Illyana with a neutral tone. "If you don't mind, would you please sit with me for a few moments"?

Dani hesitated, then sat down opposite Illyana. She again looked around the room. Nobody appeared to notice Illyana.

"Concealment spell, lifted it for you" Illyana stated upon seeing Dani's fugitive looks at the room.

"Why are you here Illyana? Did you finally escape that cell Scott must be keeping you in when you're not on the news"?

Illyana blew a bit on the tea (it was hot). "No, haven't been in that cell or any cell since the whole Phoenix five mess. Rather... nice".

"Are you on the run? If so the answers no". Illyana looked slightly annoyed at the comment.

"No Dani I'm not on the run. I just... wanted to talk to you".

"Fine. Talk. Since when did you start dressing Emma style"?

Illyana fidgeted and looked around the coffee house suddenly not meeting Dani's eyes. Illyana never fidgets was a thought that crossed Dani's mind.

"I... decided a change was due. Time to move on from the old costume. Into something more... me I guess".

Some biting and snarky comments came to mind, but Dani shoved them away. That would involve talking and Dani so did not want to talk to Illyana. Those bridges were burned and Illyana had done the burning; and then had called in the air strikes just to maximize collateral damage. Dani had tried long and hard to connect with Illyana, long after every body else had given up, but in the end she'd given up as well.

"Just say what you came her to say Illyana so we can both move on". Was Dani's brief and angry comment.

Illyana stopped fidgeting, looked into Dani's eyes and said two words.

"I'm sorry".

Great, so too late for that thought Dani.

"Bit late for sorry don't you think"?

"Yea.... I know. But needed to be said".

"So why now? You left us to die Illyana, it's partially just luck we didn't! You made it quite clear that you'd do it all over again if given the choice".

"Yea... not happy about that either".

"So why now"? Dani said. Damn it, this is turning into talking.

Sigh. "Emma had me make a list of things I want... well want. Then she made me make a list of actions for each item. You're on the list".

Dani rubbed her eyes in irritation. "Oh God, this is a twelve step thing isn't it? What? You try to make amends now? Set things right? Illyana, you'd have to move hell itself to set things right between us. Gee, you've been out and about for some time so I guess I must be the last thing on the list. One more chore and then Hell Girl is free to feel good about herself again".

Illyana signed again. "The list is in no particular order and I'm... rather slow at dealing with it because... because of a lot of reasons".

"Why? Too much of a bother"?

"No Dani, because... I don't really know what to do most of the time when the list is involved. It's... hard. I don't... trust my judgment anymore when dealing with certain things. I... I... I fucked up a whole bunch".

"Ain't that the truth. Care to share this supposed list"?

Illyana looked at Dani for a moment, then her right hand went beneath the table to her shorts and returned with a list on a piece of five inch by seven inch note paper. The thought "where on earth does she keep stuff as there is no way that getup has any pockets" flicked in Dani's mind, then she remembered what Illyana was capable of. Illyana offered the list to Dani.

Dani took it and quickly scanned the list. The bottom six lines were blurry and could not be read. Four lines could be read, the top two of the lines were crossed out. The next two were not.

Piotr

Kitty

Dani

Mirage

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"Why am I on this list twice?" was Dani's question. Damn it, still talking, got to stop talking and just let her say her piece and get out.

"The list is... complicated. Partially a list of sins and wrongs, partially a list of... wants. You happened to be the only one who fell into both categories".

"Oh God, this isn't about..." Dani changed what she was about to say "um...".

"No Dani, your name is on the list because of the harm I did to you. As I said, I'm sorry. I... miss our friendship. I don't... make friends easily and I always thought of you as one of the few I had" Illyana replied.

Dani was silent for a few seconds in thought. Then she resumed her former anger.

"Way way too late sister".  

Illyana sounded sad and earnest as she replied. "Dani I won't try to justify what I did. It... I couldn't see anymore, I couldn't feel anymore. I... I took the wrong path to get what I... craved. I was blind to other possible solution".

Dani metaphorically chewed on that for a second.

"Why now? It's been a long time. You had plenty of opportunities and did nothing".

"I... I was still as you had known me. Damaged and rather crazy. Unable to see the world correctly or feel... correctly. Then the Dormmanu, ruler of the dark dimensions, another hell lord as it were, made a play for Limbo. Captured all of us, Scott, Emma, Erik, and our students. He bound me and made me watch while he tried to killed them... I... had just regained the ability to feel again because... Well he had tried to kill me a few hours before and... shards kind of succeeded in an odd way. He used all of his power, crushed me as it were, imploded everything that made me... me. Backfired on him. He ended up igniting me and in the conflagration all of me was merge together. I was finally whole. I ended up killing him in the end to save the others. But found myself, afraid and... ashamed".

Illyana continued.

"Think of it as forceful renovation of an old house as it were. Hell, I was a gutted wreck of a ruin. Now everything is... working... I think. Even the plumbing, which Dr. Strange thinks is a good thing but he's not the one who's buying tampons".

"Huh?" Said Dani with some confusion. Some conversations with Illyana always had one or more (huh) statements by the other side. Girl could be confusing.

"Menstruation. I'm... well that happens again".

"And it wasn't"? Dani forgot for a second that she was so not having a conversation with Illyana. The conversation had definitely swerved into an odd direction.

"No. I hadn't since I... died. We... Dr. Strange and I, think it was just another aspect of my self... rejection".

"Dr. Strange?" asked Dani with an inquiring tone. Ok, so maybe a little talking.

"I finally got help as it were. Asked for it. I'm... currently a part time appetence with a Dr. Strange from another timeline. Which really helps, but it's bad enough having Emma as your therapist, add Dr. Strange tot the mix and it's really hard to deny things about myself. He's... well we've been exploring just what I am".

Dani had been examining Illyana as she spoke. There was something different in her eyes. There... was a person looking back now. That ten thousand yard stare that Illyana had tended to have was gone. Now there was more then cool appraisal and examination, more then just a predator's eyes looking at the world. Dani thought and then decided to rejected Illyana's rather pathetic attempt at sorry.

"Well saying sorry just ain't going to cut it. Are we done"?

Illyana shook her head no. "Sorry is just a word Dani. It means nothing to me without actions. Which brings us to the second reason you're on the list, Mirage".

A gold coin rolled across the table and rattled in front of Dani. Dani picked it up. One side showed a winged horse, the other showed the Seal of Hela of Hel.

"What's is this Illyana?" Dani asked with a sudden lump in her throat.

"You".

"What you were".

"I can't restore your mutant abilities. But Hela and I had a... discussion about how she did not owe me anything when I assisted the rest of the New Mutants in going to Hel in your, and therefore her, aid. Via Hell as it turns out because Dougie can't pronunciate; language expert my ass. Hela owed me nothing at all, no Hell Lord to Hell Lord obligations. And I'd most certainly testify to that to any powers that be that actually enforce such rules between entities such as Hela and I. Such an obligation would mean that she was in my debt and Hell Lords hate that. Hela agreed that she owned me nothing and in our mutual congratulations over the nonexistent debt we decided to exchange gifts. I gave her a demon I'd captured, the one that had tried to posses Logan. Shit, you'd think that demons would know better then to come into my house and piss on the floor but no... most of them are dumb as bricks.; what do I got to do? Put up a sign? Anyway, Hela decided to give me that trinket while she stuffed the demon into a hole somewhere".

Ok, that was an odd description about a conversation and a debt that had not been owed.

"Why"? Dani asked. No longer rebuking herself for talking.

"Words mean nothing Dani. I'm... really sorry. It cost you... so sorry should cost me back. Plus... I miss the you that you were".

"How... what does it do"?

"If you want it to, it will restore you, not to your Valkyrie of Hel incarnation, but instead to your original Valkyrie level of powers. It's... open ended, no time limit. You'll still Hela's Valkyrie to call. But now... well now you... get to be a full time freelance Valkyrie again if you want".

Illyana eyed Illyana. There was no way Hela had just agreed to this, implied threat or no implied threat despite Illyana casual way of trying to avoid talking about what she'd done to get this token.

Well Dani was kind of right. Hell Lords will return each other's phone calls, but when a Hell Lord who has recently eaten all the power of her dimension comes knocking, one who has also recently slain the Dormmanu, well agreements can be reached. Especially when... well Illyana can be rather... persuasive. Proof that Hela is one of the smart ones. Plus Illyana brought girl scout cookies, the coconut ones; a very secret vice of Hela's.  

Shit.

Dani stared at the coin in her hand and thought about many things. How she'd become a Valkyrie, the adventures she and the New Mutants had had. A question popped to the top of Dani's mind, a question she'd been mulling over for a long time. She decided to ask Illyana about it.

"Did you ever wonder why the Enchantress, Amora I believe, never tried to get even with us"? Mused Dani.

"No". Illyana replied with a flat tone and the warmth in her eyes vanished as a sour expression suddenly bloomed on her face.

"No"?

"No. No reason to wonder. I knew".

"What... do you know Illyana"? Dani had a bad feeling.

"After you guys freed me from her. Well, I was... in a real bad way but didn't look it. My dark side had been running rampant all over Asgard and after I was merged back together I wasn't really... able to... make good choices for awhile. Too much anger, hate, rage... blood lust. That part of me, I'm very ashamed to say, had been having a blast of a time; and Amora didn't know that the bindings she had laid upon that aspect of me had already failed. Amora was actually next on her list when Karma possessed my dark self".

"I'd... just set all of you back to Asgard and she started... to threaten me, that she was going to get free and do it all over again. Hurt me again. I... lost it. Completely. Did unto her what she'd done unto to me, but with a rather large extra helping of payback the size of Montana. You... you don't really want to know what I did to her Dani. Suffice it to say that Amora will... hell can never ever try... anything. I... I really lost it".

"Um... enchantment"? Was Dani's hopeful question. Funny, Dani wasn't angry anymore.

Illyana just looked at Dani. After a few seconds to give Dani the chance to not know, Illyana continued.

"I bound her on her version of wall and cut the flesh from her body. It took a long time as I decided to take my time and enjoy it. There... wasn't much left of her by the time I was done. She'd gone insane before I was even half way through. It... was bad. As I said I lost it. Gave in the darkness that gnaws at me. By the end she was mostly just bones, my magic was the only thing keeping her alive. I was... horrified at what I'd done. She was a god so I was able to invoke healing for her, it's mortals that I still can't help. But I bound the horror of what I'd done to her. Bound it so deep that even Odin can't get it out. That door opens within her if she even thinks about it so... no, she's never ever going to do something about it. I... I was distant for a long time after that. In shock at was I was capable of. Not... not proud of that".

Dani just looked at Illyana. She remembered what Illyana had looked like, had caught a brief glimpse just as she was merged back with her dark self which resulted in her being healed. She'd been emaciated, filthy, and was bleeding from countless festering sores; and she's stunk of the open sewer. She should have been dead but the enchantments had kept her alive. All the wounds affected upon her darker self had actually been reflected upon her, including the arrows from Dani.

Asgard had not been a fun time for Illyana.

"Shit Illyana that's...".

"Evil" finished Illyana. "I know. Not proud. There was a reason I kept my secrets back then".

"So why tell me now"?

"Because... maybe if I'd trusted me friends to help me I wouldn't have killed myself. You I should have trusted to help me. You... would have understood, the other New Mutants wouldn't have, but you would have comprehended what... I have to deal with. You weren't really mortal any more at that point, although on a much lesser scale. I... kept too many secrets that in the end all came out anyway".

Dani was really uncomfortable now and decided to change the subject back to the coin.

"What's the catch"?

"None, I... debugged it of the prior problem you had so no issues there. You also get the option to renounce it if you want but then it's over as Hela won't do this again".

Dani briefly closed her eyes. "Don't want that problem again."

"Was I really that disgusting to you?" Illyana asked out of the blue.

Dani opened her eyes again. Illyana had a look of... of something.

"I..." Dani didn't know what to say.

"I figured it out. Took years, as I said I'm slow on some things, mostly emotional things. But I figured out why you asked me to go hunting that day and that you'd... planned it".

Dani grimaced. "No you weren't... disgusting. You were the best choice. I... I could trust you to keep it secret and... and you'd know... what to do. I didn't know... what to do to make it go away without...".

"Wrecking everything, Yea, I good at wrecking, trying to change that" Illyana finished. They were both silent.

Illyana polished off her tea while Dani pondered.

"Dani you pick better then me, always have. Don't worry about losing the coin, you can't. And it can't be used by another. And if somebody tries to take it... well..." Illyana grinned that rather scary grin of hers. "That will be fun to watch, so don't like thieves. To activate it just... want it. That's all".

Illyana got up to go. "Oh, Karma told me to say hi. I guess I really need to work harder on my mind shields, she saw that I was going to try to see you today; apparently leaked though yesterday when I got back from Hel. And... she wants to hire you as her team leader and head of security if you're interested".

"What's Karma up to?" asked Dani as she continued to stare the coin in her hand.

"Working for me".

Dani's eyes widened in surprise.

"As I said Chief, I'm... sorry. I'm trying real hard to do the right things from now on but... Having been insane for so long I'm no longer confident that I'm... ok now. Blind spots. I need... I need friends Dani, and you never been too afraid to punch me or call me out on being a bitch. That's good for me to have. I'll let Karma explain and show you what we're doing if you're interested. You phone will have the number".

Illyana started walking to the front door, stopped and then said in parting without turning around.

"I really do miss those hunts. I... liked it a lot". Then she was gone.

Dani kept staring at the coin. Would she or wouldn't she? She mused upon her earlier words (you've have move hell itself, well in this case Hel). and then gave a sligly crazy giggle. Well... Ahhh who the hell was she kidding?

She suddenly gripped the coin. Fuck it. Enough of this dead end job.

She felt the coin fade away and a blaze of power fill her.

Maybe I'll give Karma a call tomorrow Dani thought. And I... kind of... miss those hunts as well.

Chapter Text

Part 5: Bony

It was a mid afternoon male drinking and bounding time at Avenger's tower. Steve (Captain America) Tony (Iron Man) Sam (Cannonball), Berto (Sunspot), Stephen (Dr. Strange), Clint (Hawkeye) and Spider Man (Peter but he still had his costume on, secret identity and all that), and Thor (Male Thor, not the female one). It was Nicks vs. Lakers and the beer was cold.

Thor was in his cups, heck most of them were. Spider man had already decided he'd be crashing in an empty bedroom, so not swinging home tonight. Hell, he'd end up on a windshield or go splat against some wall. Steve was feeling a good buzz and was the most sober of the bunch. Tony was quite tweaked.

The topic of boneability had been raised.

Just who is desirable and worthy of been shagged, and who wasn't. Female Avengers were off limits, but everybody else was fair game. It was kind of a round robin thing. Each guy, when it was their turn, would either propose a potential paramour, and the reasons why, or state a negative preference and again the reasons why.

Spider man had just gotten done stating a preference for Black Cat and that yea he had scored big time. Sam had commented that he thought that Spider man would have gone for Doc Oct instead (Sam and Spider man didn't really like each other).

Steve broke up the impending fight. "Hey hey hey, none of that now solders. Keep it between the lines. No insults. Your turn Thor".

Thor belched mightily and then wiped his mouth with the back of his right hand, his left was holding a very large goblet.

"The wench Magik would be my none choice. She is of foul disposition, skinny, and bony in the extreme".

Due to the quantity of alcohol consumed the group thought that Thor meant that he would bone her if given the chance, and that he had a thing for grumpy women as well.

They all sagely nodded their heads and as one proclaimed her quite bony. A definite good choice. Thor was somewhat perplexed, he was really into his cups, but with everybody agreeing with him he at first he didn't get that they felt she was on the bone list.

"Did you guys ever hit that?" asked Spider man, he directed his question at Sam and Berto. "I mean you went to school with her and then hooked back up for a while as adults. Any other hooking up"?  

Both Sam and Berto replied in the negative. Berto had been too freaked out by her back when they were in school together and as adults... well. Don't play with crazy is a good rule. But yea, both felt she was very... nice on the eyes. Sam was rather sure she was a screamer as well (yea they were that drunk, both of them ordinary would never talk about Magik that way. With Magik you never knew what might... happen).

"Her ass is a bit small, but she has nice chest and great legs, and that new getup of her's really shows the goodies". Opined Clint.

"I'd hit that" smirked Tony. Which was not much of a surprise. We're talking Tony Stark here. There's not much he wouldn't hit.

"She looks very athletic, likely good endurance for a marathon". Said Steve who always liked to try to keep even his dirty comments clean. But the meaning in the context of the conversation was quite obvious.

Thor finally got it into his besotted head that they thought she was bonable.

"No my battlefield companions. She is not desirous to Thor! Plus there is still the stain upon our honor. The wench did prank us most foul and vengeance should be ours. Now the white queen, that's a woman of opportunity. A chest to fill the hands with and bury you in bosomy goodness. Hips to grab onto and more then ample cushion for the pushin. Thor would hit that in an instant, hit it mightily, and spank that ass as well for her nefarious crimes, then hit it again". Thor belched forth another impressive emission.

"Hit it already" Leered Tony. "Hooked up a few times years ago way before she became an X-Men. And yea it was worth it. She's a three hole golf course and loves to travel around the world if you know what I mean. Let tell you about the time...".

"No Tony, the topic is still the wench Magik"! Shouted Thor while waving his goblet about, thereby spilling all of it on both himself and the group.

"Hey, say it, don't spray it" complained Clint.

"Sorry my friends. Umm, why is my cup empty? Well, time for a refill. As I was saying, she is bony as in bones, too thin and insufficient in the derriere department. Thor would likely poke a hole right through her if he were to deign to touch that, which he wouldn't. Plus that one strikes me as a lover of woman". Stated Thor with a careful wave of his goblet this time.

There, the L word had been mentioned. The ultimate put down, plus the ultimate challenge (after all every guy knows that it just takes the right guy).

"Maybe, but I do know for a fact that she's kind of into older men" said Berto with a smug expression.

"Really"? Said Tony, Clint, Stephen, Steve, and Thor all at the same time. The look of interest in Thor's eyes was completely at odds with his verbal statements.

"Yea, when she was with us she went on a road trip though various magical realms with some British TV automotive dude. Hell, I think you were briefly in it Thor, right at the end of the episode. Well, she and this Clarkson guy definitely hooked up. He had to easily be in his forties or fifties".

"Good to know" said Stephen as he whipped out a little black book and made some notes.

"Bobby, chill" whispered Sam who was finally coming to his senses. "Remember we're talking abut Illyana. She'll kill us if she ever finds out we blabbed. We've already said too much".

"I fear not this wench called Magik"! Thundered Thor, followed by yet another mighty belch. Spicy chicken wings and mead, a gassy combination.

"Thor desires not her tinny tight bony ass. She pranked us and we shall be avenged"!

"Count me out" Said both Sam and Berto at the same time.

"Why? Chicken? Scared of a girl? Brark, buk, buk, buk" Quipped Spider man while making chicken sounds. That Doc Oct statement has really pissed him off.

"No. Not stupid. Learned that in school. Never ever prank Illyana, it's never worth it. Girl gets downright vindictive". Stated Sam while shaking his head no.

"I'm with them on this one". Stated Stephen. "In limbo she handed me my ass and pranked me a bit. She's good, really good. Don't want to see what vindictive looks like".

"It's not like we know where she is anyway" said Clint with deep drunken sadness.

Berto held up his phone. "Just got a text from Kitty. Kitty and Magik are in town for a sale at Bloomindales. She wanted to know if Sam and I want to hook up for supper".

"Cowards! The lot of you! Who's with me! Avengers assemble! The wench deserves a spanking and a good pranking"! Shouted Thor. For someone who was not interested in her ass he sure kept talking about it a lot.

In the end it was Thor, Steve, Clint, Tony, and Spider man who sallied forth to avenge Avenger's honor.

After they departed Sam asked Berto why the hell he shared that piece of information.

"Don't like Spider douche, figured it was time for him to eat some words and we're talking Illyana here. Hell, even his spidey sense will only let him know just how screwed he is when it's too late".

Illyana's ass did not get spanked and yea, pranking her is really a bad idea, but... well that's another story.

Chapter Text

Part 6a: Boned

Sam and Roberto (known as Bobby to Sam) were at Gallaghers Steakhouse on 52nd Street New York. A good traditional steakhouse. Bobby had texted that he and Sam would love to meat up (ha ha) for supper and Kitty texted back for the guys to pick a place, Kitty and Illyana's treat. Sam had suggested Gallaghers and it had been agreed up, again all by text. The girls would meat them (again a ha ha) at 7:30pm.

One little bonus with Illyana was that you always got seated when you wanted. Sam wasn't sure if it was the Hell Lord thing or if Illyana just went back in time to make reservations. Either way Illyana always had a good table.

The Nicks vs. Lakers game had been great in the second half, double over time and had been a squeaker in the end for the Nicks. The boys has stopped drinking because they wanted to be presentable for supper. However, they had rather forgotten that several of their drunken male Avenger's had gone out to prank and/or spank Illyana, they really didn't think it was going to happen. I mean... Illyana... just so not going to be... healthy.

They'd watched the game, freshened up, shoot some pool, and then Sam had rocked them to the restaurant right on time, 7:20pm. They went in and were promptly seated at a table for four. Berto texted Kitty at 7:40 that they were there and at a table. Kitty texted back that there had been some difficulties and that they were running a bit late.

Difficulties.

The drunken bonability discussion resurfaced in their minds.

"Bobby do you think that..." Sam left the sentence hanging. Both of them had rather thought that common sense would have prevented their drunken teammates from actually doing anything.

"I don't know?" replied Roberto. "I'll check the news on my phone".

Roberto brought up the local news feed on his phone. He went a bit pale. He showed he phone to Sam.

Lead story. Big brew ha at Bloomindales. The special one day only Saturday sale at Bloomindales was interrupted today by the Avengers. They were attempting to apprehend a super villainous but things apparently went awry. Nobody is quite sure what actually want on and the authorities aren't talking. But we do have an anonymous YouTube video that was posted from within the store during the event.

The video showed various women standing around. Capt America was waving his arms about and Thor was shouting and pointing with his hammer. Pointing at Illyana...

"Oh crap Bobby" groaned Sam upon seeing the video.  

Roberto shared Sam's concerns but tried to down play it. "Chill, we need to play it cool dude. They'll never know it was us. We weren't there, we were watching the Nicks. We had no idea that...".

“Bobby, her ass is on the evening news. Her naked ass!”

“We’re cool, we’re cool. We had nothing to do with it. We’re in the clear on this. It's not our fault”!

“Boobs Bobby! Boobage! Naked boobs! Bobby... I think she’s actually killed people for less”.

Roberto was trying to be calm but Sam had a really good point. Roberto's tone was stressed and there was panic was in his eyes.

“Naaa she hasn’t”.

“Remember that dude, what was his name? Damn, I can’t recall. Remember what he did and what she did to him”.

Bobby thought upon that for a moment. “Shit, maybe… your right. Let’s go. Maybe if we claim that we got paged or...”.

“Too late. Kitty and Illyana just walked in the room and they see us”. Whispered Sam.

“How… how does she look?” Roberto hesitantly inquired. His back was to the entrance and he so did not want to turn around.

“Death’s come for us Bobby, and it’s gona hurt” was all Sam said. His expression and tone said it all.

Part 6b: Some time earlier

It was a good sale. One of those everything is 10% off, but if you buy three of a kind then take an extra 12% off. Plus if you buy one or more items from three or more departments you get an extra 7% off and a free gift. And store brand makeup was also buy two and get a third for free. Plus if you sign up for the email alerts you can take an extra 20% off the item of your choice. And if you open a store charge account you get… Well you had to be a math whiz to keep it all straight.

Kitty was a math whiz and she was in a shopping equation based frenzy (she'd set up a spreadsheet on her cell phone so she could examine various the shopping alternatives at the same time to asses the benefits). Illyana could barely keep up with teleporting all the bags back to the secret X-Lair (the current nick name from ice boy Bobby).

Kitty and Illyana were in the undergarments section, the special undergarments section. The one the female super heroes and villains frequented. Bloomindales had an exclusive contract with Frost industries, the only licensed maker of unstable molecules based panties and bras (Emma is a ruthless business woman and knows a high margin market when she sees one).

At times Emma liked to boast "Every super hero is wearing my underwear" which in some cases was actually true at several levels, but Scott would never admit to it. Now there was still the nasty rumor that Emma tried on all the panties before they were shipped just to make sure that she could claim that everybody wore her used panties, but that is so was not true. Emma would never do such a thing. Right?

These suckers were expense. Think silk and then add on a zero or two or three to the price tag. Flame proof, water resistant, acid repelling, ultra stretch, and guaranteed to resist dragon blood. No need to use the delicate cycle when washing these suckers. Hell, some were actually bullet proof and cleaning instructions mentioned that flame throwers or oven baking were ok for these really difficult stains (no, you so don't want to know, icky!). The market was small, but oh if you needed it you would pay and there was only one source.

Well… they were on SALE! They were NEVER on sale! The department looked like a bomb had gone off and heroines were actually fighting over panties and bras (Umm, not like actually fighting, more of a determined tug of war kind of thing which left the She-Hulk the winner most of the time).

There were all kinds of under garments. Plain, fancy, naughty, funny, oddly shapped (i.e. leaving room for a tail, hell even squirrel girl wore those panties). And in all colors. They even had a brand name. Frosties. And a slogan. Never go anywhere without your Frosties! More then a few female super heroes wanted to be paid endorsers, but these babies sold themselves so no deal (sharing had never been high on Emma's list of things to do).

Heck, you even got a free pair in the mail when you first manifested an alternative superhero identity (Emma knew the power of a free sample). Rather a coming of age ritual for many young super heroines. Their first pair of Frosties! Some wore them, some kept them as memento, a few actually framed them. All became customers.

The department was packed and there were long lines for the changing room.

The Back Widow and the Scarlet Witch had gotten into a cat fight over some lacy and very risqué red panties (Mine! No Mine! Mine! Hands off! I saw them first! They match my outfit. No they don't, you wear black! I so don't care, mine! Hands off skank! Slut! Am not! You so are!).

Kitty picked up an assortment of panties, plus a naughty joke panties to give Illyana on her next birthday (Abandon hope all who enter here), and some nightgowns to wow Peter Quill with.

The She Hulk was besides her self with glee, she so went though cloths. And she was a big girl (when she transformed), plus the stretch feature was very important to her as gamma transformation wedgies were so not fun.

Megan (Pixie) picked up six more Hello Kitty panties. They were in the remainder bin, three for the price of one! Hello Kitty had been very populate with the Avengers Academy and Jean Grey school for a while, but fashion trends had changed (Not that that mattered to Megon, Megan loved Hello Kitty).

Laura (X-23) had picked up a few lacy panties (for the first time, she'd always been a plain panty girl before). And a few nightgowns and teddies in the lingerie department (Angel had given her a gift card with a REALY large amount, but let's be honest folks, Angel was gong to be the happier one here). Laura wasn't sure about it but Kitty and Illyana had talked her into it.

Sue Richards was rather peeved in that why on earth didn't she get free samples? (Because Reed is a rotten negotiator and Emma is ruthless). Sue had gotten some lacy white panties, plus two pair of crotchless ones, something to spice things up. Hey Richard might be a nerd but his nickname Mr. Fantastic was no joke. Man was hung when he wanted to be and he read all kinds of books. Sue may have a boring reputation but she could get really freaky sometimes in the bedroom and Mr. Fantastic could always deliver.

Elizabeth Braddock (Psylocke) was there with an arm full of panties and bras. Now I know what you're thinking. No way does Psylocke wear any panties, G-string or otherwise, on that purple Ninja costume of her's. Well... you're right, the most important think Betty needs to do is shave her privates for that costume. The White Queen of all people had called her out on it once (your showing dear) while giving her a razor. No, many woman wore Frosties in civilian life as well. You just never knew when there would be some explosion and your clothing is shredded but for some reason your panties and bra survived (Hey it's the only reason that makes sense if you examine many a comic).

Cuckoos were there buying matching panties and bras. Sometime that whole triplets thing gets creepy (Illyana had brought them to the store).

Jean Paul Beaudier (Northstar) had been there briefly. He was picking up some for his sister or so he said. That was his story and he was sticking to it.

Ororo (Storm) was filling a bag with her selection. Not all of her costumes allowed for under garments, but more then a few did and Ororo was a big believer in always having her Frosties despite the amount of grief she got from Emma.

Tigra (Greer Grant Nelson, she was a tiger girl) was there. Now ordinarily she was only wore her itty bitty tiny tinny not pokadoted black bikini, but it was a sale and sometimes she dressed formal.

Jubilation Lee was there, but mostly just being annoying. She came with Angelica Jones (Firestar) as Angelica needed to stock up on fire proof undergarments.

Female villains were then as well, but this was Bloomindales. Treaty zone. Off limits. No fighting! The Woman of power treaty of 2007 had firmly laid out the rules. And like a UN treaty it was enforced on all once a sufficient number of woman had signed (it had only taken three hours to get a sufficient number of signatories, an all time record).

Hela of Hel still pretended that the treaty didn't exits or apply to her, but she still knew better then to mess with Bloomingdales. Some things were just off limits.

The Enchantress (Amora) was there, turns out she's mostly a white panty gal. The dragon blood guaranties really mattered to her.

Lorelei (Enchantress' sister) Was there as well, she was quite the... well skank and some the creatures she slept with really pushed the panties stain resistance abilities to the max.

Mystique (Raven Darkhölme) was there, but in disguise (Hey we're talking a sale on Frosties here).

So on and so forth. It was your basic who's who.

It was even a cross over event as DC female characters were there shopping up a storm (they so rarely got access to the Marvel universe and Marvel just had better underwear).

Illyana and Black Widow had exchanged glares but the treaty held, the treaty had always held. The sanctions were... extreme and the worst sanction of all was banishment. And banishment included online purchases. Nobody wanted to get their bras and panties on the underground market, no telling where those suckers had been.

Illyana was waiting for Kitty to get done, she was just past the cashiers, when the a window burst in and the Avengers stormed the store.

Part 6c: Steak house

Kitty and Illyana walked up to the table, they were both dressed in civilian cloths. Kitty was wearing simple flowery dress,Illyana was in jeans and a sweater. Kitty look grim and concerned. Illyana had red eyes. Red in that she'd been crying, not red as in glowing. Which if you think about it, in that you the reader thought her eyes were glowing red, really explains why Sam and Roberto were so not going to ever prank Illyana.

The guys looked aghast. Which turned out to be the correct expression. Kitty spoke while Illyana threw herself into a chair, put her arms down on the table, and hid her head.

"I take it then you've seen the news".

"Umm... yea we did. Just saw it actually. We're so sorry Illyana" said Sam, and he really meant it.

Illyana mumbled a half heard thanks from beneath her arms.

The waiter wandered over and began the usual restaurant greetings, dropped off a loaf of really good sour bread rolls with a large pat butter while asking if they wished something from the bar. Illyana's head came up.

"Vodka... Bottle... Unopened". Then she put her head back down.

The waiter was about to explain that the restaurant only sold by the drink, but... he got a vib that that would be bad. Very bad. He went with his gut, which was a very health choice for him and resulted in a really good tip at the end of the night. Kitty ordered a diet Coke, Roberto got a regular Coke and Sam went for a Budweiser.

Sam and Roberto raised their eyebrows in a silent question. Kitty shook her head. It was bad. Really bad.

Sam and Roberto frantically tried to think of something to say. They were still silent when the waiter returned with the drinks. He had also brought a glass for the Vodka.

After he left Illyana sat up again, opened the bottle, poured three fingers of vodka into the glass, then paused. She looked at the bottle, then gave kind of half hearted shrug, and proceeded to raise the bottle to her lips and chug half the contents in one long go. Then she put her head back down on the table.

Sam and Roberto were horrified. Kitty looked resigned.

"That can't be healthy or safe" whispered Roberto to Kitty.

Kitty gave a helpless shrug. "It's her third bottle. She can... well she is Russian and a hell lord so... well I'm not sure if she's even drunk yet". Illyana was, it just didn't show (Hell Lord here)

Illyana sat back up, grabbed some bread, smeared a massive amount of butter on it and then quickly ate it. She took another big swig from the bottle, and again hid her head.

There wasn't much anybody could do at this moment so the three of them examined the menu.

Ten minutes later the waiter came back to take their orders.

Kitty ordered the petite Filet with the roasted vegetable medley.

Sam went for a cowboy rib-eye with the jumbo baked potato. He also ordered blackened shrimp with cheese grits appetizer and buttermilk breaded onion rings as well (for the group. Illyana loved onion rings).

Roberto went with the New York strip steak with four cheese macaroni side.

Illyanas head came back up. She briefly glanced at the menu.

"Bones. I want something with bones in it. Lot's of bones and meat so I can dismember it and tear the flesh".

After some helpful hints from the waiter she settled on the rack of lamb (rare) with Yukon gold potato purée and an order of Alaska king crab legs (she wanted some legs to break). And another bottle as she finished off the first bottle while she looked over the menu.

With that she put her head back down on the table.

"Can't... can't we erase the footage or something?" Asked Sam.

Kitty replied. "It's too late. By the time we realized that the footage had been shot and posted to the internet it was everywhere. Illyana still wanted to try, but I talked her out of it".

"Why" asked Roberto.

"Because automotive repair does not involve a wrecking machine. I don't think the Internet would work anymore after Illyana got done with purging all traces of the video".

"I still think it's worth giving it try" mumbled Illyana. "Who needs the stupid Internet anyway. I mean... just how many cute cat videos do you need to see? I'm sure you, and the other nerds could rebuild it in oh... a few weeks... months.... years? I don't know. Just a stupid place to post photo and videos of peoples asses". Illyana took a sip from the glass (She hadn't opened the new bottle yet).

"What... what happened to the guys?" Sam asked, hoping that they had not been disintegrated.

At that moment the appetizers arrived. Illyana eyed the onion rings with one open eye, then sat back up and grabbed a bunch to put on her plate. She munched one while replying to Sam's question.

"I stuck them in... a holding place. Where Limbo used to be. I wasn't sure what to do but now... Now I'm trying to figure out how they should die. Slow dismembered sounds nice".  

Kitty injected "She's been like this ever since we saw the news reports. We were at Starbucks in Time's square when... the news was shown on those really big TVs that they have there. Illyana then walked right into a bar and got... well lubricated".

"Drunk" Illyana helpfully suggested. "Drunk off my skinny bony ass". She sobbed once, ate some more onion rings, one shrimp, and put her head back down on the table.

"What on earth motivated your idiot buddies to do such a thing?" Kitty fumed.

Sam and Roberto exchanged glances.

Part 6d: Bloomingdales

Several Avengers burst through a window, they were Thor, Spider Man, and Iron Man. Thor landed and a flash of lightning flickered about the place. Spider man swung in on one of his webs and Iron man followed behind Thor. Hawkeye and Capt America came charging up the escalader and arrived at the same time as the others came though the windows. Hawkeye had his cell phone in his hand videoing the whole thing.

"Freeze Magik! You're being detained!" Shouted Captain America.

Magik froze in shock. Ordinarily she'd have reacted in some way, either teleport, or summon her soul sword, or casting a spell. But... this was Bloomingdales, a treaty zone as Kitty had strongly emphasized to her (Illyana was not a signatory on the treaty). Such things were forbidden. While she struggled with what to do she was knocked off of her feet by Captain America's thrown shield.

Just as she struggled to her feet Spider-Man swung by and nailed Magik with his webbing. He landed, braced, and whipped the webbing to fling Magik into the pillow department while quipping "Time for a soft landing"!

Well… that’s what he tried to do.

This happened just as Iron Man fired a repulsor ray blast the would have flung Magik in the opposite direction. But there were complications.

Magic had magically anchored her feet to the ground and the webbing was attached only to her costume. Between the pull of the webs and the blast of the repulser ray some stitching gave way. Something got flung into the pillow department, but Magik stayed right were she was.

Almost everybody froze.

Illyana had a look of utter mortification. One of the darkest secrets of the universe was revealed. She was...

Commando!

Illyana was commando!

Top and bottom!

And she had a little purple dragon tattoo on her left butt cheek.

Thor, being the considerate gentleman that he was, pointed at Magik with Mjolnir and proclaimed loudly for one and all to hear.

“See! See! For sooth! That is one scrawny and bony mutant ass. Tight and bony. It would be a cold day in Hel before Thor would hit that! Perchance if He consumed a swimming pool of Ale Thor might, just might, be willing to consent to spank it most soundly”!

Not everybody quite heard the same thing. Some woman distinctly heard Thor shouting that Illyana's ass was bony (but in a sex way) and that Thor wanted to... well spank it, or self pleasure himself while looking at it, or both. Other's were horrified to have such an insult spoken out loud. Everybody, apart from the male Avengers were terrified at what had just happened. Ultimate public mortification.

Hawkeye hit the post video button on his phone and then thought about what he'd just done (Did I Err)?

Capt America got a bad feeling as his shield vanished in a teleportation disk.

Suddenly Spider-Man’s spidey sense went off the scale.

Iron Man's sensors detected a power surge and a complete COMMs dropout.

Thor belched. Yea, he was still gassy.

And all the women fled in their own way.

Girls talk and Illyana was known by all on the gossip circuit. This was a code red situation. It even had a specific code phrase that all heroic women used to describe the severity of the anticipated female reaction (Phoenix on the rag!). A phrase that annoyed Rachael and Jean to no end but really summed it up well. They both felt it was sexist but were rather stymied in that complaint as only women ever used the phrase.

In short, a Phoenix on the rag moment was where a woman was going to go massively berserk for complete female reasons and you did not want to be there.

Sue Richards went invisible and raised an invisible shield in anticipation of something really BAD happening.

Kitty phased and dropped down to the next floor.

Scarlet Witch hex’d herself gone. No no, this is not going to be good.

She Hulk leap out the broken window that Thor had created when he came in. Better a three story fall then whatever Illyana was going to do.

Black Widow hid in a dressing room. She was really embarrassed about that afterwards.

Wasp shrank and flew away.

Laura used her claws to cut her way out the back of a changing room so she could flee. Ordinarily she would stand or fall with a teammate, but not this time. Best to not see or be a part of this as then she and Illyana could pretend nothing had ever happened.

Elizabeth (Psylocke) manifested her psychic knife, the focused totality of her psychic powers (As she always just had to tell everybody every single freaking time she did it), wished that she could still teleport using shadows, and in the end just ran; but in a sneaky ninja kind of running away method.

Storm summoned a wind, which filled the air with panties and bras, and flew to the other side of the building.

Pixie hid behind the over size bra bin, which was a rather large component of the inventory; we are talking female comic book characters after all. But she peeked over the bin's rim to watch. There was no way she was going to miss this.

Illyana was still frozen in mortification, then she finally comprehended Thor's thundering proclamation that she had a bony ass that he wanted to spank (she didn't quite catch everything Thor had said).

Her hands clenched in fists of rage. Power erupted from the very fabric of existence and her expression shifted from mortification to utter outrage. Horns grew upon her head, a devils tail flashed into being, her eyes glowed red. A chainmail bikini came into existence and covered up her hereto exposited... lady bits.

Teleportation disks sprung into existence. Gone were Hawkeye, Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor. Only Spider-Man at first avoided the disks. He swung through the air being pursued by teleportation disks only to meet a disk coming the other way.

The Hulk at that moment choose to arrive on the scene (he had heard of the planned pranking) by leaping through the window proclaimed loudly "Hulk here for spanking"! But upon seeing Magik's expression he tried a hasty retreat only to get zapped as well by a teleportation disk.

The battle was over. Kitty's head poked back through the floor as the remaining air born panties and bras settled to the ground.

Part 6e: Supper

The meal had finally arrived. Conversation had been rather stilted with Illyana mostly just hiding her head with her arms until the food arrived. She had yet to crack open the new bottle.

Illyana tore, and I do mean tore, into her meal. She'd stab and cut out a lamb rib and then tear the flesh off with her teeth. She also rather vindictively would break the crab legs in half and rip out the flesh.

Everybody eat in silence. Bobby and Sam felt really bad. Bad for Illyana, bad for themselves (we are so dead if she ever finds out), bad for the missing Avengers, and a bit less bad for Spider douche.

At the end of the meal Kitty again asked the question that had not been answered.

"You never answered. What on earth motivated them to do such a thing"?

Roberto gulped to himself and then went for it. It would either be a three point shot from the other end of the court, or a fail of epic, and possibly lethal, proportions.

"We were all watching the Nicks vs. Lakers. We'd all been drinking and were rather... drunk. The group got to talking about you Illyana. How you ranked on the... desirability index. Drunken guy chatter".

"Thor was of the opinion that you were not of interest, found you moody and I think he's rather into... well big butts. But everybody else, and I mean everybody which included Sam and I, thought you were totally... well you ranked high on the list of... um desirable. And no, nobody thought your ass was bony or scrawny other then Thor. Everybody... liked it... a whole lot, and your new costume as well. Then Thor got all cranky about how you'd pranked them and that they should prank you back. Sam, Dr. Strange, and I said no way. There were easier, and more fun, ways to commit suicide".

Illyana just looked at Roberto with a blank look. Sam's eyes had risen as Roberto had talked, and confessed, and now he looked like a little boy waiting to be told his punishment. Kitty looked... half way horrified and half way happy that they had confessed, a very odd expression.  

The moment lingered, then Illyana smiled and kissed Roberto on the cheek. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me".

Sam was relived, and a bit envious. Damn, sometimes Bobby just deserved his reputation as a panty whisperer. If Sam had tried to tell Illyana that story the restaurant would likely be in flames at this point.

Kitty's cell phone rang. She checked the caller ID and then decided to take the call. It was Ororo. Kitty said hi but then Ororo apparently did all the talking. After several minutes Kitty replied.

“Fine, I'll tell her. Illyana... Ororo thinks you should refrain from killing them”.

Illyana got a bit teary eyed. The alcohol was making her very melancholy and emotional.

“Why… why is she taking their side? What… what if it was her naked ass on the news?   Her… so called skinny bony mutant ass” Illyana plaintively asked.

Kitty relayed the question. Ororo’s answer was apparently quite short (course if it has been Ororo's ass on the news nobody would have called it skinny).

“She’s not. She thinks they should suffer more. And if you just kill them then it’s over. Why not… humiliate them far worse and make them deal with it. She thinks death is too easy”.

Yea, it was a bit of bait the hook and hope Illyana could be distracted with a less lethal forms of revenge. Ororo didn't really think they should die, but leadership is about leading. And understanding how people think (in this case Illyana) and how to... motivate them.

Illyana opened her mouth to say something. Then shut it and cocked her head a bit at Kitty. She then looked thoughtful for a few moments. She ended up grabbed a piece of bread and sat back to listen.

“I think you have her attention Ororo” Kitty said with more then a little relief. “Any suggestions”? Kitty listened, then relayed Ororo's question.

“What would make you happy right now. Other then their death, dismemberment, and torture no matter how well deserved”?

Fate intervened while Illyana nibbled the piece of bread and pondered this deep concept (she was rather drunk). The dessert cart came by, the one restaurants show you to tempt you to indulge even more. There was bread pudding, cheese cake, berry pie, apple pie, and chocolate cake. Mmmm... chocolate.

“Chocolate... I want chocolate! Lots and lots of chocolate. And… their utter humiliation”.

Kitty replied. “So… why not do that instead? What would humiliate a bunch over testosterone'd douche bags”?

“Something that… that… threatened their sexual identity?” prompted Sam. Yea, he sold them out. Roberto nodded as well at the idea. Hey, they were currently in the clear with Illyana and they wanted to keep it that way.

Illyana was uncertain (and drunk). "But... everybody is looking at my ass, and my boobs. I mean... everybody". She put her head back down on the table.

Kitty quipped. "So give them something else to think about. Make your... exposure a flash in the pan, give the public a new obsession".

Illyana sat back up and got a gleam her eye, a drunken gleam, but she didn’t look maudlin anymore.

“Yea…I like that, make them feel it”

“Let’s make a list of demands and make them sign it” suggested Kitty. “Do it or you die screaming kind of thing”.

A slice of foot tall chocolate cake was ordered and much plotting commenced. A list of fiendish demands were crafted.

Sam and Roberto were so glad not to be on the list, and yet could claim to have helped save their vanished teammates. Win win for them, but rather a bummer for the vanished Avengers.  And... they could add a little extra for Spider douche.

Part 6f: Someplace very very dark and empty

"Well now where the hell am I?" grumbled Tony Stark to himself.

He was standing on a featureless mostly black and blank surface. The sky, if there was a sky, was black. Everything was black. It was only the faint light being emitted from his armor that provided any illumination at all. Tony could see roughly twenty five feet before the light just faded away (regardless of how much light he emitted). It was like the nature of wherever the heck he was consumed light.

Total COMMS blackout as well. Not data interfaces beyond his armor and the navigational system was clueless (kept thinking he was in New Jersey).

Tony had tried shouting but nothing was heard, not even an echo. The radar and sonar pings also faded away after twenty five feet so he had no idea of the actual physical dimensions of where he was. He picked a direction at random and started walking as flying was risky with no visibility.

After hours, or see it seemed, he had noticed that his armor's clock was frozen (yet another bad sign), he saw a flicker of light. Moments later Capt America stepped into his circle of light (Capt was holding a flashlight).

"Where the hell are we Tony?" asked Capt.

"I think hell might just describe it Steve" groused Tony. "I don't think we thought that one through on the potential outcomes".

"No shit Tony". Capt was in a mood, sober now, and very pissed. "When did it become the plan to strip Magik naked? Of all the women to do that to I think only the original Phoenix would make a worse choice. Hell, I'd strip Storm naked before Magik".

"Well duu Steve, we'd all strip Storm first. And this is NOT my fault" whined Tony. "If Spider Man hadn't..."

Spider-man walked into the circle "If I hadn't what?" he asked.

"Pulled her cloths off! That was not the plan"!

"I didn't pull her cloths off. You blasted her cloths off"!

Hawkeye walked into the circle before it degenerated into who pulled her cloths off argument and voiced his complaints.

"Am I glad to see you guys. Shit, count me out the next time you idiots get the bright idea to strip a F'ing demon of her cloths! And I though the Scarlet Witch was bitchy! Fuck! I only just get started on living again! We all know who going to die if somebody ends up biting it on this little fiasco! I'm always second fiddle. It's like I'm a Star Trek guest star wearing a red shirt or something. What the hell was I thinking"?

"Chill Hawkeye, this was not the plan" complained Capt again.

The hulk wandered into the circle of light, much to the surprise of the others. Tony asked a question. "Hulk, how did you get here"?

The Hulk answered while sheepishly scratching the back of his head. "Hulk heard of spanking but met angry bikini demon girl. Then Hulk end up here".

Spider-man quipped. "That sucks, at least the rest of us got to see..."

"That's enough solder, we don't need to quip about it" rebuked Capt America. Then he gently whispered "Don't talk about it, she... somebody might be listening. We're already in enough trouble".

"Anybody have any idea were we are"? Asked Spider-man.

Thor now wandered into the circle. "For sooth that could have gone better my boon companions. The wrench has caste us into the now empty space of her demised realm".

"Demised realm? You mean this is Limbo?" asked Spider-man.

"Yes oh web crawler. I had heard that she had sucked the power of her realm into her person leaving naught but a void in its place".

Spider-man felt a panic attack coming on. "And you just forgot to mention that little fact!? That's.... that's Galactus binge style. Oh man I should of listened to Dr. Strange on this one but I... crap I was still pissed about the beating her brother gave me and didn't think it through".

"She is but a sorceress wench and we should fear her not" proclaimed Thor, but his volume was less loud then when he'd been pointing out her ass to one and all. He was sober now, sober and concerned. He was thinking of just what Sif would do (Sif is Thor's on/off girl friend), his mother, or several other woman of power that he knew. Then he multiplied what they would do by an integer number and keep getting an answer that concerned him.

At that point a small table appeared in the center of the circle holding a single sheet of parchment.

Capt America picked up the paper and read it. It was a list of demands. A rather horrifying list.

Capt passed the list to the others to each silently read. Each had a look of horror or outrage.

Thor was the first to complain "This... this is excessive. She's mad! Yes we... over did it but her shame is not public. This is an affront on my honor and I'll have no part of it"!

Spider-man also voiced his displeasure. "Totally unfair! Thor yells to one and all about her ass and all he has to do that's unique is star in a video remake? While I... well I don't really get what she's implying about my fate".

Capt America had the list again and was studying it.

"Thor will not stand for such insults from a bony assed..."

"Damn it Thor! Pipe down on the ass comments!" Capt America suddenly shouted. "A new line just got added to the list the moment you said... what you said about her".

Capt showed the updated list. Everybody's eyebrows rose.

"That's... going to be hard to accomplish" said Hawkeye. "I mean I have a bow for crying out loud".

"For sooth I will refrain from... such pronouncements" Thor stated with an apologetic tone. "But such travails for but a monuments indiscretion is excessive".

Iron Man's communication systems suddenly reestablished a communications link (he got a dial tone).

"Hey, my phones live again. Hold on a second while I call Pepper".

The others could hear a faint phone ringing sound and then an (indiscernible statement).

"Pepper it's me". (indiscernible reply)

"I'm... not sure where I am. We kind of had a mix up and pissed off that Magik girl". (indiscernible reply)

"You know? Umm... not sure I want to know how you know". (indiscernible reply)

"We're all stuck here and there's a list that we apparently must all agree to or we die slowly and painfully". (indiscernible reply)

"There is some... disagreement as to the severity of the list's demands vs. the actual level of embarrassment and humiliation we caused her". (indiscernible reply)

"The first thing on the list is chocolate". (short indiscernible reply)

"The list just says and I quote (A sufficient quantity of chocolate to demonstrate proper male apologetic behavior. The really really good stuff, and by good we mean much better (and expensive) then Godiva. Failure on this means death and you only get one chance to decide how much chocolate). Yea, that's what's written on the note". (indiscernible reply)

"So assuming we agree to this rather excessive list of demands, how much chocolate should we get"? (indiscernible reply)

"What do you mean you don't know? A guess would help". (indiscernible reply)

"It's cold and dark and scary here Pepper and I'd really like to leave". (indiscernible reply)

"No I haven't seen the news, we've been rather out of touch" (long indiscernible reply)

"What video?" (very long indiscernible reply)

Hawkeye got a surprised guilty look and Capt started to get angry at Hawkeye.

Toney's tone went flat and emotionless. "Download it to me". (short indiscernible reply)

Tony apparently received a file, he used some kind of projection capability that was part of his armor to show the video to the others. It was not quite the news video that Sam and Roberto had seen. This was the TMZ (a rather infamous gossip show) version.

The cast of the show were all in their bullpen room. Will Lee (the host), started off.

Will Lee. "Magik. The mysterious X-Men or in this case X boobalicous Babe. Nobody knows anything about this gal and Paparazzis universally refuse to take her photo".

Max Hodges. "They call it the Clarkson rule for some reason. Ever since she first burst onto the scene in that Top Gear episode, their highest rated episode by the way, she's been a thorn in the side of many a Paparazzi. I've heard tell that she gets invited to some events just because it makes it a zero Paparazzi scene, and some say that she only eats snails for breakfast". Max was a Top Gear fan and this was his attempt at a Stig joke that nobody got.

Harvey Levin. "She's a blank. Sometimes hero, sometimes suspected villainous. Nobody knows her real name and every attempt to do an image match always turns up nothing".

Ben Mankiewicz. "Well, we do know a bit more about her now, at least her private parts". The clip gets played in first at regular speed and then again in super slow motion with frequent repeats.

Terese Stasser. "Wow are her areola's pale ". The screen rewinds to the rather good boob shot and zooms in. "Look at that resolution. Whoever shot this was using HD mode on their cell phone. Good for you! She really needs to use some blush though on those puppies if she wants them to stand out. And I see she has inverted nipples. You know, the kind that only pop when a woman gets aroused".

Anna Kachikyan. "She wears black so no need of that blush".

Will Lee. "This has got to have the Kardashians and Hilton worried. Web hits are off the scale and servers are crashing around the planet under the load. Yea, her booty isn't Kardashian scale, hell the Himalayas aren't that big, but Hilton is completely outclassed by that Magik ass".

Ben Mankiewicz. "Rather surprising that she's missing the tramp stamp of approval for a girl with a bad girl image. But check out the small purple dragon tattoo on the left butt cheek". The clip gets played in slow motion, freezes and then zooms in on the tattoo.

Anna Kachikyan "Nice, rather artsy. At least it's not hello kitty".

Ben Mankiewicz. "Also she's apparently is not on the shave it smooth bandwagon when it comes to the parts down under. Not that our TV viewers can see that part but go to the TMZ for more... detail that is unlocked with your TMZ login". (Side note, TMZ tripled their number of user logins that day).

Terese Stasser. "Girl's got class. Nicely trimmed. And... the carpet matches the drapes. Always nice to see a real blond".

Ben Mankiewicz. "Don't know why Thor has such a problem with her ass. Yea, it's not the usual over endowed booty he likes to hang with, but there's nothing wrong with it".

Will Lee. "Over the years many super persons have been asked about her. This is what they had to say". Series of short video clips play.

Storm "No comment".

Scot Summers "A valuable asset to the team and no she's not available for interviews".

Sue Richards "We've never met".

Wolverine "Get out of my face before I make you eat that camera, Flam'n Jackals".

Emma Frost "No comment".

She-Hulk "No comment".

Scarlet Witch "No comment".

Dead Pool "She's the love child of Phoenix and Galactus, but she takes after daddy".

The short set of videos end.

Will Lee. "Soooo. not a lot of detail about her. Almost as if nobody wants' to take about her".

Anna Kachikyan. "A little bird just told me that this week's Saturday Night Live is going to feature a skit about the whole thing".

Harvey Levin. "And Cosplay Dot Com, a valued advertiser on this program, reports that Magik costumes are completely sold out on their web site. Even the girthy ones. As we speak sweat shops across the world are laboring to replenish the supply. I guess we now know what the hot costume will be for this Halloween".

Anna Kachikyan. "But the really big news of the last half hour is Vivid Video, a soft porn productions company, and... not so soft, has announced a new film called Magik Panty Raid. Pre orders have already exceeded fifty thousand units in just the first hour. TMZ has an exclusive excerpt right here on TMZ in the time honored tradition of mixing news with paid product placement". Cut to the video.

We see a male Thor look alike in the foreground (obviously wearing a blond wig and cheesy armor) with a Capt America, Iron Man, and Hawkeye look alikes in the background. The arrows in Hawkeye's quiver are... not appropriate at all; they are... well adultish and we'll leave it at that. Iron Man's helmet was very phallic, and that's not a star on Capt's shield. A Magik look alike is teasing Thor, she's barely dressed (i.e. thong and a push up bra) and is bent over in the spanking position.

The supposed Magik (not quite a good likeness but the body's nice) breathily says.

"Oh Thor! Spank me! Spank me with your mighty hammer of love"!

"Verily I shall spank that! Spank it thusly"! Proclaims Thor who starts whacking at the fake Magik's ass with an obvious fake Mjolnir while she squeals in pleasure.

Now a bunch of female porn actors dance into the scene dressed as X-Women. There is a Storm, a Psylocke, and a White Queen. They loudly chant "A spanking a spanking! There's going to be a spanking"! Yea the dialog was stolen from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "We want a spanking too"!,

"Don't worry girls"! Shouts the fake Capt America. "Avengers Assemble"!

They crowd into the front of the shot blocking fake Thor and fake Magik and start to... spank the heroines. But you can still hear some dialog.

"Oh...Thor! What a big... Hammer you have".

The video ends and we return to the TMZ cast.

Will Lee. "We'll be right back with a discussion on where Magik is on the bone ranking of female heroines and villainesses"!

With that the TMZ video ends and the image flickers way, almost as if Iron Man's armor is horrified at what it just projected.

Thor's hammer hit the ground as it falls from his numb fingers.

"Why aren't we dead yet" Asks Spider man with panic in his voice.

Tony panics. He shouts into his armor's phone.  

"All of it! Buy all the high end chocolate in New York"! (indiscernible reply)

"I don't care how much it costs! The original video makes her want to kill us. If she ever sees the TMZ episode before she accepts our apology we are beyond dead"! (indiscernible reply)

"The note says to deliver it to Jean Grey school that Storm runs. Get jets and helicopters and air lift it"! (short indiscernible reply)

"Hawkeye, you utter imbecile! I said record it, not POST IT" Screams Capt America as he begans to choke Hawkeye. "That's why you always are the one to die"!

Spider-man just sat down and began mumbling "Game over man, game over".

Thor started paying attention again. The close ups on her ass and nipples had been very interesting. Perhaps he had been, hastily in disregarding her ass...sets. After this whole regrettable travails were over he needed to try a more... personable apology (Thor is always looking for another notch on the bed post).

Hulk had very wide eyes at seeing the goodies he'd missed.

Tony summed up the consensus "So... Umm Capt could you stop choking Hawkeye for a moment, we are agreed on signing"?

They all nodded their heads.

Five black fountain pens appeared on the table. Each engraved, in red, with a name of one of the offenders of Magik.

Clint picked up the pen with his name. "Hey, it's empty of ink. How are we supposed to sign"? Tony passed on this bit of info.

"The pens are empty". (indiscernible reply)

"Shit. I'll tell the guys. Umm, each of us gets to fill their own pen with the ink that's flowing in our veins. Yea... blood. She... She's apparently very drunk right now and that's the only reason she hasn't gotten around to killing us. She thought blood was funny". (Kitty was on another phone line with Pepper).

They signed. What else could they do?

Part 6g: One of the travails

The Avengers waved at the crowd from the New York parade float (just Thor, Hulk, Capt America, Hawkeye, Iron Man, and Spider-man. It was a special float in the annual gay parade, it was shaped like a giant... thingie. All of them were dressed in G-Strings (and nothing else apart from some face masks for those who still had a secret identity).

Thor whispered out the of the side of his mouth while waving and strutting for the cheering and screaming crowd. "There, once this is done my friends there is but one travail left".

"Good" whispered back Capt America. "I preferred that remake of Sir Mix-a-lot's Baby Got Back video you had to do Thor to having to appear on the TMZ all gay special to rate the ass's of the best male villains". (Author: Google the video Baby Got Back, play it, and imagine that it is Thor doing the song and dance).

Thor sighed. "It was a trial but I endured". In fact he'd loved it. Thor loved big bootie and Sir Mix-a-lot had been fun to hang out with as they reshot the video and the party afterwards. Thor felt that Sir Mix-a-lot was a man of deep understanding when it came to bootie.

"But how the hell are we going to defeat Galactus?" whispered Hawkeye as he gyrated for the crowd.

Iron Man sighed while striking dramatic poises. "It's not Galactus. It's Gaylactus".

"I thought that was a typo". Said Hawkeye with a sinking feeling in his guts.

"It's not". Groaned Thor. I fear we are in for a mightily battle, filled with manly... vigor.

Hulk whispered a complaint "Hulk feel like piece of meat. Hulk feels so... dirty".

Hawkeye looked at this bow with a resigned air, his bow was so not going to help.

Spider-man kept wondering just what his special item in the list meant (Your ass will be as well known as mine).

Part 6h: A special place in hell

Some time later...

"I'm in hell, there's no other explanation for this" groaned Peter Parker to himself.

He'd gotten done with the travails, just like all the other guys. He was sorry. He'd apologized. But for some reason he got just a little extra then the rest.

"Not fair! It was an accident. Thor deliberately made all those comments and he gets off with just being in a video involving big butts? And I have to put up with this? Every single day"?

1. Jonah Jameson was holding a big staff meeting with all the freelance and staff photographers, editors, and advertising leads for the Daily Bugle.

He was thrilled, gloriously thrilled. Daily sales were up twelve percent and subscriptions had also bumped up. And there was one thing driving the boost in circulation and J.J would not shut up about it.

"ASS"! Bellowed J.J.

"It's all about the ASS"!

"This town's gone ASS crazy"!

J.J was in fine form, shouting about what he wanted while he waved his cigar about.

"Specifically one ass in particular. I never thought I'd say these words, but I can't get enough of Spider Man's ass"!

Everybody laughed and Peter had to join in just so he wouldn't stand out.

Magik was such a bitc.... NO! Don't even think it! Don't give her an excuse to make it even worse. Oh GOD! Did he just make it worse?

Parker found that whenever he was in his Spider Man costume the ass of his costume vanished, and his under pants as well, leaving all exposed to the world. His groin was still concealed but his ass was exposed to the gaze of all. And it was like there was always a camera ready to take the picture.

He'd already found that the more homophobic criminals actually refused to fight him because they didn't want their photo in the paper with him waving his ass about. Heck, he even won two fights because his opponents just wouldn't stop laughing.

The other Avengers were no help, and even Dr. Strange had told him that this was private matter between him and Magik.

Bad enough that his ass was on display but the city's obsession with seeing it made no sense.

J.J was still giving his pep speech. "Get me more Ass! I need that Ass! I love Spider Man's Ass"!

"Randy"! Randy was one of the advertising folks who were out trying to sell subscriptions.

"Yes Mr. Jameson".

"One word, just one word and I think we can boost subscriptions by another ten percent"!

"What's the word sir"?

"Billboards"!

It just got worse.

"I want Spider Man's ass on billboards all over this city. When people look up I want then to ask themselves this question. Have I seen Spider Man's Ass today? The public wants Spider ass, then by golly we'll give them Spider ass"!

"Yes sir! I'll get right on it"!

"Beth!"

"Yes Mr. Jameson"?

"I want a Sunday supplement. A special on Spider-man's Ass! A kind of best of ass shots of the week, month, year. Dig into the archives as well. Get experts talking about that ass. Is it too big? Is it too small? And just what do those dimples mean? Explore the rumor that his ass can shoot webbing as well. Find out what the man and woman in the street thinks about Spider Man's ass"?

"Yes sir"!

It was a long two weeks before Spider Man broke down and begged Sam and Roberto to please do something. Please!!!!!!!

Aunt May was the final straw, she wanted to know if Peter thought Spider Man's ass was cute. That and the popularity of Spider Man ass coffee mugs at Starbucks, and that hour long TMZ special about his ass. Or the new parade balloon that Macy's had just announced, or... hell...

It was the new Weird Al Yackavich video that did it. The remake of Baby Got Back. But only now it was an all male group dressed as Spider-man.

Spider Got Back.

I like big butts and I can not lie

You other Avengers can't deny

That when Spidy walks in with an itty bitty waste

And that big round Spidy thing in your face

You get sprung, want to pull up tough

'Cause you notice that Spider butt was stuffed

Deep in the costume Spidy's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh Spidy, I want to get wit'cha

And take your picture

...

...

So, fellas (Yeah) Fellas (Yeah)

Has Spidy got the butt? (Hell yeah)

Tell 'em to shake it (Shake it) Shake it (Shake)

...

...

Oh God, the utter humiliation of that video.

Chapter Text

Part 7a: Fireside chat (part 1)

Illyana, Laura, and Dani were sitting around the evening camp fire. It was the third night of a three day camping and hunting expedition in the vicinity of the X-Base. It was rather odd in that the all the hunters were female as none of the guys were into hunting.

Dani summed up her thoughts about the other occupants of the X-Base as she drank a beer (she's into micro brews by the way). "Wussies, the lot of them".

"They dislike the act of taking life". Observed Laura. She was sticking with hot chocolate for now.

"But have no qualms about eating meat if another does the killing" Opined Illyana as she sipped her tea (black and strong).

Dana poked at the fire. A joint of venison was roasting over it; the rest of the buck was back in a freezer at the X-Base.

"Meat is meat. More ethical I say if you kill it yourself. At least Xi'an (Karma) is mostly ethically consistent in that she's mostly a vegetarian who likes fish and eggs. But young Bobby is so extra irritating. Actually moralizing about hunting while eating a cheeseburger and adding veal to the menu requests".

Laura mildly disagreed. "They are innocents, in many ways, of unpleasant facts of life. I find it rather... nice but naive. Best leave the killing to the killers".

Dani decided to change the topic and asked a question that had been bugging her. "Illyana, why the change in hair style? You're growing your bangs out and... I find that oddly... disturbing".

"Decided it was time for a change. Back when I was in the X-Brig I lost my bangs and rather hated it. But I recently got to thinking I'd try it again".

"Bit weird seeing you without bangs".

"A girl can have more then one hair style in her life".

Laura decided to try her own attempt at changing conversational topics. She asked a question of Illyana. "How is Miss Frost"?

Dani looked at Illyana with slight surprise while Illyana gave Laure a sideways glance. No need to ask why Laura thought that Illyana had contact with Emma. Apparently she had smelled Emma's scent on Illyana.

"Emma is... ok. She is pursuing her goals in her own way".

Dani inquired. "I didn't know that you had any contact with her. I thought nobody knew where she was".

"She contacts me from time to time and we arrange to meet. She is still my... therapist as it were".

Dani continued. "Odd. Never would have thought you and Emma as being overly friendly. So... what's Emma up to"?

Part 7b: Hellfire

The scene is an opulent sitting room. Emma is rather sprawled in a white leather chair while drinking a glass of red wine. She is wearing her usual white garb. Before her are some small projected holograms of others who Emma is speaking to. Emma also has on a single ear plug.

"I shall continue to cultivate her. She is a long term project at this point. Unlike more... idealistic persons she understands that omelets require the breaking of eggs. And she is oh so very good at breaking... things".

One of the figures apparently says something but only Emma can hear (that ear plug). She responds.  

"No, the whole hell lord thing works to our advantage. She's used to the exercises of power and yet has no real interest in day to day ruling. Perfect candidate as some of us... are more into the hands on aspects of control".

Another figure rather animatedly waves its hands and arms about. Emma responds.

"Yes, she is very lethal and powerful. In fact most people have no idea of just what she can really do if sufficiently motivated. She is much more stable now but still... willful. I will reemphasize that if any of you try you're own recruitment attempts you will likely fail and create an enemy of her. She's... not somebody you want as an enemy. And I will be very very annoyed".

Emma responds to so some other unheard statement.

"Wealth, power, sex, none of those really matter to her. It's not that she's above such things, it's that... her focus is elsewhere. We're talking about somebody who is not really mortal in many ways. Her teleportation abilities but scratch the surface of her potential. Potential that would allow us to rather definitively achieve our long term goals. That same potential turned against us is an extreme risk. Better to have her be a neutral party then to take sides against us".

Emma continued. "She is trying to do what is right... but her interpretation of what is right does not quite fit in with other's understanding of the word. She's... flexible on many ethical issues and tends to focus more on the end results then the means to achieve those result. This works to our advantage".

Emma pauses to hear some other statement. Then she gets a look of anger.

"If you were to try that you would not only die she would go on a rampage and slaughter... well everybody I guess. Don't ever contemplate that. If I even think you are going to try that I'll kill you myself to avoid the utter mess you'd create".

Another pause as she listens.

"Yes she knows what I'm up to. Hell, I told all of them when I left so it shouldn't be a big surprise".

A momentary pause.

"No you can't go kill her. I'm not even sure that's actually... possible. We're talking a hell lord here. I think she mostly plays pretend on that. Putting other's at ease. She knows and rather doesn't care so long as we leave her and her's alone. Don't... don't make her care, it won't end well".

Emma takes a sip of wine.

"No, I don't think you fooled her. Again I don't think she cares about that. One... influences her with truths not lies. I've always suspected that... that she can tell if you're lying. Remember how well she and Laura hit it off, quite the surprise to all I might add. No lies there, just truths. Plus she likes to throw fights. Don't pat yourself on the back too hard just because you outwit her or she seems unable to do defeat you. That's again part of her act".

"No I can't read her mind. How many times do I have to say it? Nobody can read her mind. That in part is what makes her so... difficult to assess. You never can tell if she believes what you're saying. And yet that same ability would make her a perfect inside agent".

"Yes she's a good poker player and don't ever get into a drinking game with her and yes she'd make a great queen".

"So we're agreed? Good".

Emma terminated the call. Somebody behind her refilled her glass. Somebody with male hands.

"Ahhh, thank you darling. Now where were we"?

Emma began to disrobe. "So where were we? So glad we finally overcame those little misunderstandings between us".

Part 7c: Fireside chat (part 2)

"Emma and I... have an understanding and I don't pry into her activities".

Laura decided to attempt a conversational tactical retreat. She had not thought anything of asking about Emma Frost but Illyana was giving off vibes that she really did not want to talk about Emma. Little body posture clues and scents that Laura could read (and Illyana knew that Laura could read) but Dani could not (at least not the scents). Onto another topic, one that was more... known to all.

"How did the meeting with Storm go"?

"It went well. There were... issues but I think we worked through them. Ororo's letting the initial decision sit for a few days to see how the others at the school react before making it official".

Part 7d: The end of Schism

"Do you really think this is wise Storm"? Bobby asked.

The two of them were sitting in Storm's office at the JGS (Jean Grey School). The meeting with Illyana had just ended and Illyana had ported away. Illyana had also arrived via her teleportation disks direct into Ororo's office for a private chat that had been prearranged (although likely the telepaths had known something was up. Always hard dealing with telepaths).

Bobby (Iceman) was slouched on a couch and Ororo (Storm) was sitting behind her desk leaning back and playing with a pen. Ororo responded.

"She... behaved herself on that little inter galactic trip that I was on, hell better then Henry did, and has not caused any trouble any of times she's visited here. Kitty trusts her again and that means a lot, and... continuing to be trusted by Kitty means a great deal to her".

The discussions between Illyana and Ororo had been cordial and somewhat quick. There had not actually been a lot to talk over or negotiate as both sides had quickly agreed to the other's terms.

Bobby reiterated the terms. "So she gets...". He paused and Ororo finished.

"The ability for her and her... companions to visit the school. And the end to us trying to send the younger version of yourself and his friends back to the past. Plus coordination between her and I on... issues that come to our attention; with her letting me take the lead".

"And we get..."

"An end to Schism. Her and her's will be... considered an... associated school as it were. She will not harbor active criminals. She will also not associate herself with Scott, wherever the blazes he's gone and hidden himself. Plus, we both agreed on a mutual defense pact as it were. An attack on one is an attack on both".

Bobby sighed. "I don't have to tell you that almost everybody here is scared of her. Her former students speak highly of her but even they tended to be... apprehensive around her".

"Even you"?

"Yea... Remember she figured out how to set ice on fire. Ice is not know for its flammability. So not fun, left me with a nasty little burn and it hurt. Rather apprehensive as to why she figured out how to do that".

"In that she knows how to hurt you"?

"Yea. Bet she has some anti weather magic in her back pocket; not that her costume has pockets".

"Possible. Contingency planning I suspect. We were not...".

"Not what".

"We locked her up. It was the right thing to do. She acquiesced, accepted her punishment, but... I've been reading her file, the formally blocked parts, Henry gave me the password. Henry was against how she was locked up. Felt... that we were missing a treatment opportunity. That we blew it. I find it interesting how... quiet she mostly was during the trial of Henry. In many way Henry is guilty of the same behaviors as her but she was the one we locked up".

"Frankly Ororo she's scarier, and I think more dangerous. You were on that Extinction team with her. Any meaningful interactions"?

"No. She was again quiet... well mostly quiet. Not beaten down but trying to not make waves. She did what was asked of her. And to my shame I did not make any real attempts to involve myself with her".

"We already got people complaining every time she shows up. This is going to make it worse".

"I suppose it will. I guess we need to call a student assembly, after having an all hands faculty meeting, to discuss this and handle the complaints".

"I recommend it be a no outsiders meeting, meaning it's just us. Magik stays away, otherwise some folks with issues may not speak up. Hell they may not speak up even then".

"Because they're scared of her? Because they hate her"?

"Nailed it in one".

"Agree. No outsiders".

"Ya know Ororo, you're still likely going to lose some folks over this. She really did harm people who have not forgotten or forgiven".

"Yes I fear that is a probable outcome. But... She's reaching out. Trying. She was... rational and focused on that extended intergalactic trip I took. Kitty spoke with me afterwards and told me that we needed... to try harder. Make us Illyana's first choice rather then providing an opening for Scott or...".

Bobby finished. "Magneto or... others. Yea I get it. She's powerful and... well she's gathering up outcasts. Others will be interested in that cluster of powers. Hmm, how she spoke was rather odd. She wants what once was. Odd way of putting it".

"Best to have them on our side if not fully on our team".

"Gunna be fun seeing Monet and Rachel interact with her. I should sell tickets and popcorn. Just who can be the snarkiest? My moneys on Monet".

"Bobby, play nice now".

"Naa, no fun in that. You know Shield and the Avengers are so not going to like this".

Ororo stood up and started to walk to the office's door "Frankly Bobby, I don't really care".

Bobby stood as well and started to walk with Ororo "Understood. On another topic, any more info on this supposed mutant disease"?

"No. It appears to be rather random. Nobody has any details yet as to the cause or any cure. It supposedly only affects mutants and... the effects vary. I'm actually hoping that some of Illyana's folks will be able to help us do more investigations".

Part 7e: Fireside chat (part 3)

Illyana finished. "We'll see how it works out. Rather tired of being persona non grata".

Dana summed up her concerns. "You know we may lose some folks over this. There are reasons folks are here and or left the Jean Grey School".

"Yea... but we'll work it out".

Onto another topic. Dani decided to talk about the Fab Five (or the original X-Men). The Fab Five was how young Bobby was currently describing them. She made a statement with a smirk. "Angel of the time displaced X-Men appears to be the most happy. Laura, are you and he still playing naughty cat and birdie or have you moved onto some other kind of role playing"?

Laura slightly blushed. Damn, she so regretted that little game (well not really, but getting caught she regretted). She had a rather lame retort. "That is private. I shall not answer".

"Yea, kind of guessed that. You go girl! Anyway, Bobby appears rather happy. Scott is moody and withdrawn, gee what a surprise. Jean is trying to make a go with Henry but that's... having issues, again no real surprise. And Henry gets moody because Jean is moody".

Illyana put in her two cents. "Scott and Jean have both applied to collages. Different collages. I think it is likely best for both of them to be apart if that is the path they choose".

Dana raised a question that had been on her mind. "Why is Jean so moody at you all of a sudden"?

Illyana responded after a moment. "She got some answers to some private questions and... didn't like what she learned. Can't say I blame her".

Chapter Text

Part 8a: Picnic (Part 1)

A few days ago.

Jean and Henry (or Hank if you will) were on picnic. The complete clique; picnic basket, blanket and umbrella. They had left the X-Base around 11am and Jean had flown them to a nice meadow, by a pond, that was a few miles away. It was a warm day and the pond was delightfully cold.

Jean had been dressed in a pair of ragged cutoff jean shorts (amazing how much a pair of ragged jeans cost), a rather tight green bikini top (she was wearing the bottoms as underwear), and a pair of sun glasses. Hank had on a bathing shorts and a tee-shirt.

The pair had lunch (sandwiches and chips and potato salad), frolicked in the pond, and were now laying down and drowsing in the sun having applied some suntan lotion. (Hank had rather loved that, here Jean let me oil your back). Jean was now just in the bikini and Hank had just his shorts on.

Hank was hoping that they'd neck and fool around a bit (i.e. getting to second base again). So far that was as far as he had gotten. Kissing, cuddling, and some groping and fondling.   He has fantasies about third base or even a home run, but Jean was in the driver's seat and she kept taking the off ramp. He wondered what she was thinking about. He'd be disappointed to learn that it was mostly not him.

Jean was mostly thinking about a rather common concern of hers. She was almost always concerned about a certain topic. The knowledge that a her had gone mad with power. That a her had killed... billions. One word summed up that concern.

Phoenix.

She was slightly thinking about Hank. She was... frustrated. Hank and her were not really working out. She worked for him but he... he really didn't work for her. It had been nice a first. Different. Felt almost naughty like the universe was being told off. But now it felt... hell he felt more like a brother then a boy friend. She sighed to herself.

Hank broke the long stillness as he turned over to tan his back.

"How did that meeting go with Professor Magik"? Yesterday Jean had mentioned to him that she was having an off site meeting with Professor Magik for privacy when he had asked what she was doing after breakfast and she had been gone until supper time. This was the first chance he had to ask about it (all casual like).

Jean roused from her thoughts.

"As well as it could go I guess. Don't really like the answers I got".

"What were the questions or answers if I may inquire"?

Now it was Jeans turn to move about. She rolled over onto her side and looked at Hank. A rather sexy pose that he was missing.  

"I wanted to know about her time as Phoenix. How it was for her and how she... dealt with it. More specifically I wanted to know if she know of any ways to prevent Phoenix from... altering ethical behaviors and actions. I actually asked a week ago and she said she'd think about it. She finally agreed to answer my questions at that off site meeting yesterday".

"Where was the meeting"?

"That's... private. Can't say".

Jean mused upon the meeting and her promise to never share the actual details, only the conclusions.

Part 8b: Siberia

Illyana had explained where she was taking the two of them, and what that location was, but not why.

The offsite meeting had taking place in Siberia. Where Illyana had brought a piece of Limbo, of hell as it were, to earth when she was a Phoenix host. A piece that had returned to Limbo and yet...

"Why here?" asked Jean upon the reaching Siberia.

She looked around. It wasn't like you could tell you were in Siberia. They were underground in some large and dark cavern. The only light being from a light spell that Illyana had cast.

"This was where I ceased to be a Phoenix fragment. This is also where I imprisoned many of the super heroes we captured; the one's who fought us. A piece of hell brought to earth. One that... kept the prisoners suitably distracted so there could be no thoughts of escape. We did not wish to kill them but we did not wish them to escape and continue to hinder us. I was trying to be... kind".

Jean hugged herself with both arms and gave a bit of a shiver, the place was very creepy.

"That... doesn't sound kind. I hope none of your prison guards are still around".

"The guards are gone and no it was not... kind. Made sense at the time but... well... Consider it an example of how Phoenix logic works... or doesn't I suppose. Ended up banishing Rogue when she found out and tried to help the prisoners escape. Rather happy I didn't hurt Rogue and I gave her a chance to do good where I banished her to".

Illyana continued. "So Jean, you asked about what it was like to be a Phoenix from my perspective. How it changed me, affected my actions, and... is it possible to prevent it from changing your... actions. Or minimize its influence".

Jean had an apprehensive look. This place was horror movie creepy and she was getting telepathic residue of great pain and suffering.

Jean grimaced. "Yea, if you don't mind Professor Magik".

Illyana looked like she was eating a very sour lemon.

"I actually do mind, quite a bit. But... I promised Kitty that I'd help guide you. I would not... shards, have not done this for anybody. But you... well Phoenix appears to like you Jeanie(s) as it were so... words will not suffice. I'll have to show you and I really don't want to".

"Show me what"?

"I'll have to show you before Phoenix... during... and after. You will then be able to comprehend my... conclusions and advice".

"That means that I'll have to..."

"Go into my mind. Yes, curse it all. I'll have to drop my shields for you just as I did for Emma. You'll only be able to see what I show you but I'll have to show you... so very much. Oh, don't... don't try to poke around. I have safeguards".

"I already don't like it Professor M. Both Emma and the Cuckoos say that your mind is... not a good place to go".  

"Yep, and call me Illyana from now on when we're not with your friends. We... well you're going to get a rather... deep understanding of me so I think a first name basis will be in order after this Jean".

"Um... ok... Illyana".

Illyana had Jean sit down on the floor in a meditative pose. Illyana then sat down as well. They were facing each other.

"Jean...".

"Yes".

"It's ok not to... like me after this. I'll understand".

"Why would that happen"?

"Because... well you'll understand afterwards".

"You're... not going to hurt me or something"?

"No. You will just understand me better and... well... I haven't been... a very nice person".

"Umm... ok I guess... well I hope not actually. Even more apprehensive now".

"I'm going to drop my shields just for you. Then I need you to flow into my mind. You won't... be able to control what happens. Just go with the flow. It will likely not be memories so much as... understanding and that understanding will be visualized for you in a context you can relate to and comprehend. Don't ask for more detail as I frankly don't know; I'm not the telepath here, you are".

"Can I still say no"?

"Yep, right up to the time you enter my mind. Then... then it's likely a one way trip to understanding".

"Would you do this for Professor Kitty"?

"Only to save her life. Other then that hell no. I... really like having Kitty as a friend again. Such understanding of another tends to cause problems when that individual has done so many not nice things. When that person is... me".

"Should I"?

"Only way to really understand my answers is to comprehend my answers".

"Ok. Let's do this before I change my mind".

Jean felt Illyana's mind shied... relax as it were. Jean went in before she chickened out.

Part 8c: BEFORE

Jean found her self sitting on an unseen luxurious chair. The most conformable chair she had ever rested upon. Perfectly conformed to her body regardless of how she sifted.

Jean was at the top of a mountain as it were. The sky was a burn orange and all of Limbo was arraigned before her.

Dark, twisted, bent. Limbo was an echo, a dark reflection of its Master.

That Master being herself.

She hated it.

Hated it so very much.

All that was wrong with her was thrown back in her face. All that had been done to her was forever echoed. Chained to the very thing that had so harmed her.

Chained to the very thing that had created her.

Sometimes... sometimes she couldn't see where Limbo ended and she began.

Yet... loving it in a way.

Her's! It was her's!

In some ways it was her!

Her's to rule. Her's to alter. Her's to do with as she willed.

And pity the fool who tried to take this unwanted possession from her!

She was a Hell Lord. The only restraint upon her was herself; and so many of her ethical restraints were in tatters or had ceased to exist. Lost, discarded, or raped away.

She had regained her soul, but so little had changed. Yet... some things had changed.

She wished to do right things, but the definition of right was... distorted by the harm done to her. By what she was. By her perceptions of what was right and wrong.

Jean shifted upon the chair and felt it shift was well.

She stood up and turned around and recoiled in revulsion.

The chair was made of thousands of tiny trapped humanoid bodies. Forever shifting to find the ideal shape for the one seated. Their reality forever enslaved to provide nothing but... support. The bodies were everybody she has ever know.

Support for the random whims of a Hell Lord.

Wrong! This was so wrong!

People... should not be debased like this.

I... I should not have been debased like that!

?I?

Jean regained her perception of self.

She was Jean! Not Illyana. Jean!

This... this was how Illyana had perceived the world before Phoenix.

People were not quite... people. Illyana had become so detached.

And Illyana had not really... doubted before regaining her soul. But now she was starting to doubt herself.

Doubt her actions. Doubt her decisions. Question paths taken. Choices made.

She really had thought she knew better. But... now she was not quite so much any more.

The chair shifted into a doorway. A doorway built from the tiny bodies. The doorway opened onto fire.

Onto Phoenix.

With a sigh Jean steps though the doorway and all sense of self was lost until the end of the journey.

Now she is Illyana in all things.

In all things done.

Experienced.

Regretted.

Part 8d: DURING

Fire and ecstasy and belief.

For now and forever I am Phoenix!

One!

I am one of five, yet WE are one!

Phoenix !

WE are Phoenix!

And WE know what must be done. Emma and Scott are our focus, our core. They have the passion, the vision of what to make of the world, the belief in what should be.

Together, the WE, strive to make it so.

But WE are blocked. Hindered by petty and trite minds. Beings who fear that which is possible if it is not by their hands.

Foes who desire something other then what the WE wants.

WE are Phoenix, but WE are spread amongst five.

Dissipated WE are not as strong as when WE are united in one. And our vessels are not the one WE had chosen.

What WE came to do is in part shaped by our vessels. Our purpose is... altered... forgotten in the flush of new revamped purpose.

WE strive to be kind, but anger grows. Obstacles must be dealt with.

Removed.

Destroyed if that must be, but for now WE restrain ourselves, or so WE try...

One of our vessels crumbles, all restraints lost, his flaws were so many.

He was never fit to house us.

I am one of four, yet WE are one!

Phoenix !

WE are Phoenix!

TRUSTED!

LOVED!

CHERISHED!

Oh to be trusted again and loved! Oh how the I in the WE glorifies in it. Drinks it in!

The membrane between Limbo and I weakens, stretches, and ruptures like a virgin's hymen upon the taking her first lover.   A brief pain, nothing compared to the pleasures that await.

Our belief is pure. WE know what is right.

But what is right keeps shifting. And the other vessels are cracking, mortal passions and wants polluting our purpose.  

Our belief.

Anger grows stronger.

Anger from the hindrances of others. Anger from the within as well.

Darkness grows like a fungus in the flaws vessels that houses the WE.

Only one resists the darkness for she was already one with the dark. She drinks me in the most. She follows the lead of the others the most.

She never lets mortal passions rule her, for she lacks almost all such passions. But... but she wishes she possessed them.

Darkness does not blossom within her so much as the desire to do right. To be not as she was. She is a loving vessel and does my biding.

She is one with the belief!

She has no doubt!

Yet in the end she and her brother fall.

No longer Phoenix!

No longer one!

Poor vessels they were for infinity.

Her eyes are dry, but she weeps for what she has lost.

WE!

WE are... gone.

Now just Illyana.

Flawed

Deceiving

Unloved

Oh how we hate her.

Part 8e: AFTER

Brother lost.

Finally.

It took him so long. So long to understand me.

He loves Snowflake. And I am not her.

I am not her!

Though I long to be... Would if I but could.

But I cannot.

I cannot be loved. To understand me is to reject me. For do I not reject myself?

I allowed him to learn how I think.

How I am.

How... how the damned are.

I let him become and stay the Juggernaut so as to understand just what I am.  

He saw me clearly for the first time. And as I knew he must, he caste me aside.

He is finally free of loving a me that does not exist.

Yet...

Yet my belief in my actions weakens.

Doubt.

I... doubt.

Did I do the right thing?

Do I know what is the right thing?

What if I was wrong?

If I am wrong then...

DOUBT!

If I am wrong then... what else have I been wrong about?

It gnaws at me like a wolf gnawing at a trapped leg.

To be free is to be maimed. To be whole is to be trapped.

In the end I am unified with my soul.

I am Illyana at last!

No longer just Darkchilde wearing her shell.

ILLYANA!

I AM HER!

HER!

HER!

OH GODS I'M HER!

And I finally awaken from the endless nightmare that so defined me to find myself maimed as I gaze upon my works.

Gazed and despaired.

I was wrong!

WRONG!

Oh GODS I WAS WRONG!

Part 8f: Understanding

Jean awoke to herself to find that she'd screamed herself raw.

Illyana was holding her, hugging her, as Jean struggled and flailed about.

Jean froze and Illyana gently pushed her away, broke the hug.

Looked Jean in the eye.

And Jean understood Illyana's answers.

Darkness and doubt.

And Jean really didn't like Illyana anymore.

Part 8g: Picnic (Part 2)

Jean looked lost in thought. "Earth to Jean... Hello? Um... learn anything useful"?

Jean shook herself out of her musings.

"Yea. Never go into her mind, even if she let's you".

"Oh. Any Phoenix insights"?

"Some. Just like the rest of the Phoenix Five, being a Phoenix altered her judgments and behaviors over time. She did have one tool that slowed down the changes. And she reached a conclusion afterwards that provided another tool".

Now it was Hanks turn to role over and lean on his side facing Jean. Wow Jean looked sexy. Hank didn't look too bad himself was an internal conclusion from Jean. He asked a question.

"Mind shields"?

"No".

Jean scrunched up her face in a bit in a grimace.

"It was darkness and doubt. She was already so fallen, as it were, that Phoenix rage and passion could not really unleash hidden darkness, that darkness was already unleashed and understood like an old friend. Shards she was that darkness. Professor Magik knew her desires and lusts as it were. She knew herself. And her hidden desires were actually... mostly about good things she wished could somehow be".

"And doubt"?

"A Phoenix does not doubt the correctness of its actions. Doubt let's you remain... you. If you hold onto doubt, if you question your actions, then the utter certainty of Phoenix, and being a Hell Lord and a demon I suppose, can't grab hold. Professor Magik is... carful about a lot of her actions now. She's made a lot of mistakes and does not wish to repeat them yet again. Doubt is a measuring rod for her".

"So you learned some good things".

"No. That's the problem. Her darkness came from doing harm. Doubt came from the realization of the harms. Good lessons for her and I'm glad she shared but...".

"Not quite contextually correct for you".

"Not yet thankfully... but... well knowing... is good". Now Jean had a better understanding of the harms that power could do and what it felt like to not care due to the purity of belief. She knew... and part of her wished she didn't.

Belief combined with actions unguarded by doubt was very dangerous.

Hmm... Jean thought. Hank was rather close and looked... nice. He did not feel so... brotherly at the moment. Jean decided that some smooching was now in order, dessert as it were.

She wiggled over to him and pushed him back onto this back, then she pressed her torso on his, her breasts tightly pressed against his oily torso and gave him a long kiss.

Much necking commenced.

Jean kept wondering about the urban myths of men with large hands and feet. During the smooching she shifted and accidently rubbed her leg against Hanks groin. She learned... well that's private but she learned the answer to that specific urban myth.

It was fun. But... Hank still only got to second base.  Well... he almost stole third but Jean stopped that.

Chapter Text

Part 9a: Lunch

Emma was nibbling at the remains of her Caesar salad while Illyana was busy dipping her remaining salt and pepper shoe string fries in some ketchup (she'd had a cheese burger and fries).

They were sitting at a table for four with the forth chair empty. The third chair was occupied by Lockheed who was busy gorging on multiple portions of several menu items (deviled eggs, calamari, steak tartare, and caviar). An illusion was cloaking Lockheed (everybody but Emma and Illyana thought he was just a quiet guy who was very hungry). For some reason Emma was slightly annoyed at Lockheed's presence, but Illyana did explain that she was currently dragon sitting for Kitty and that Lockheed was going everywhere with her so as to maximize dragon time.

Both Emma and Illyana was dressed in casual civilian garb. Illyana had been somewhat surprised at the public setting, but she figured Emma had her reasons.

Illyana had met up with Emma at the Four Season's hotel in New York City, for a therapy session. The sessions had become infrequent since Emma had left, but Emma still made time to work with Illyana despite the other... activities Emma was involved with. Activities Emma was rather sure that Illyana was at least somewhat in the know about (We are talking Hell Lord here, just because Illyana knows something does not mean she shares that she knows).

They chatted about various trivial things while avoiding any major topics that did not involve Illyana directly.

Emma didn't want Illyana to think that she was trying to pump Illyana for intelligence. Emma had worked hard to build a kind of friendship with Illyana and she didn't want to mess it up. Emma had a... fondness for Illyana that continued to surprise her. She found that she quite liked Illyana's ruthlessness and directness and the fact that she has not at all intimidated by Emma. It was...refreshing. Plus the fact that Illyana did not have the traditional X-Women issues with Emma was pleasant as well.

Illyana didn't want to ask questions of Emma about topics that she may later have to deal with; in short don't ask questions that you don't want answers to. One can always plead ignorance if one does not truly know. Illyana did have to chuckle to herself that she considered Emma, of all people, a kind of friend.

This odd kind of friendship had in part been a result of them both being part of the Phoenix five and then later being trapped together in the X-Bunker. There had been that shared Phoenix mental connection and neither considered the other a competitor so... well it worked. Plus Emma was still Illyana's therapist.

So... two women who has some fondness for each other's company were having lunch, Emma's treat.

Emma started a new topic of conversation. "How goes your interactions Jean Grey School? Still having issues with some folks"?

"Yep" Illyana replied with a grimace and then continued.

"Pixie continues to be in a snit about the whole thing. I understand her annoyance, but it's less directed at me per say and more anger that once again the leadership would pick me over her if she were to force the issue. I understand her... frustrations. Been there, felt that way myself. I was always careful, back in my New Mutant days, to make sure none of the team was ever in a who do I save situation with me as I knew just where I was on the pecking order. The fact that I really try to not interact with her so as to avoid causing her angst apparently causes her even more angst. Sometimes a demon lord just can't win for trying".

"And Rachel is still being..."?

"Snide and bitchy. She was Kitty's best friend for years, a well know fact as she finds so many ways of continually mentioning it when she's around me. Almost soul mates according to her. Very tiring. She is beset by the urge to argue about everything with almost everybody. And apparently my being part of Phoenix at one point is also so very vexing to her; like I swiped her car and got into a wreck or something. I endure her slings and arrows, which frankly is not particularly hard, which also vexes her in that she's unable to get me to lose my cool".

Illyana continued "Apparently she is very upset that Kitty left the JGS and went to the New Xavier school. Then Kitty left the New Xavier school for Peter Quill. But I suspect her anger is mostly that that she left with me. It apparently all came to a head yesterday when I was in the Jean Grey School cafeteria with Lockheed".

Illyana began to describe the altercation.

Part 9b: Sticks and stones may break my bones but...

Illyana was eating by herself in the Jean Grey School (JGS) cafeteria. Well... not completely by herself, Lockheed was with her. He was lying upon on her shoulders with his tail wrapped around Illyana's upper left arm so as to brace himself. Illyana was having lunch and also feeding Lockheed (whom everybody knows is a shameless mooch).

Illyana had selected a table away from everybody so as not to cause undo consternation, and out of courtesy as she did have a hungry dragon on her shoulders. Ororo had asked that Illyana stop by as she had something important and private to discuses. Illyana had decided to show up a bit early and grab a bite to eat, as the JGS cafeteria was quite good (It was Chinese Thursday) and she loved the wontons they made.

Illyana had a large plate of sweet and sour fried pork with sauce on the side (most of the pork was for Lockheed), some shrimp fried rice, crab and cream cheese wontons, and a large glass of Coke. Illyana would eat some of the fried pork (she mostly ate the fried rice), the rest she kept tossing into the air, using her chopsticks, for Lockheed to snatch and noisily consume with a dragon purr "Yum...".

The students had gotten slightly less loud and rowdy when Illyana had walked in, but had quickly resumed the usual boisterous student behaviors. Illyana had been showing up enough at the school to no longer shock the students. She was not exactly welcomed, but she was tolerated per Storm's orders.

Illyana behaved herself and... well it's not like there were many people who wanted to get snippety with Illyana.

But one of those few people had just walked in; Rachel Summers, one of the senior faculty members. Rachel immediately saw where Illyana was sitting. Rachel had heard the telepathic chatter that Illyana was visiting and that Lockheed was with her this time as well.

Rachel stomped over to where Illyana was sitting and sat down opposite to Illyana. Illyana gave Rachel a cool look while she proceeded to eat a wonton. Lockheed "Coooo'd" a welcome to Rachel.

Rachel glared at Illyana and hissed a statement of irritation. "I see that you're flaunting yet another thing you've taken from Kitty".

Illyana's chopsticks froze in the act of reaching for some pork. Illyana cocked her head sideways and gave Rachel a puzzled look while Lockheed's welcoming expression faded away.

Illyana swallowed her wonton and then spoke. "I can truthfully say I do not remotely comprehend what you just said".

"You heard me. First you convince Kitty to leave us and joint you. Then you take her students, and now you've even taken her dragon".

Illyana slightly glared at Rachel in annoyance. "I have not taken Lockheed. He's visiting and he's not a pet that one can just take as it were. And I did not take her students, she left them with me when she and Peter Quinn became an item. That was by mutual agreement with the students and her; only then did they actually get around to asking me. And I did not convince Kitty to leave. All of you did that by your lonesome's by... upsetting her and disregarding everything she said".

Lately Rachel was always snipping at Illyana whenever they met, except when Kitty was present. This had begun since Illyana had returned to earth with Kitty's students. It had gotten worse since Storm and Illyana had come to an arrangement which resulted in Illyana being a frequent visitor to the JGS and even participating on some missions where Rachel was also present.

Illyana had simply decided to ignore Rachel's bitchyness, which apparently was just motivating Rachel to turn up the volume.

Rachel continued. "Nobody likes you here. You do know that don't you"?

Great... going to be one of those kind of conversations thought Illyana. Well... enough is enough. What is it with X-Men that they always have to have public tiffs and meltdowns? What the hell ever happened to private one on one conversations if someone was upset about something? When I get upset I go off and try to rescue somebody, everybody else is so... ineffectual. (Internal sigh) If Rachel wants a public fight who am I to deny her?

"Yes" was Illyana's simple reply.

"And yet you keep showing up".

"That is also correct".

"Why? After all that you've done, why do you continue to show up here"?

"Apart from being invited"?

"Storm invited you, nobody else did".

Illyana grasped some pork with her chopsticks and ate it. She spoke as she chewed.

"Again you are correct. Any more insights"? Illyana flicked a shrimp from the fried rice into the air for Lockheed which he promptly gulped down.

Illyana's bland responses were pissing Rachel off even more. The cafeteria was growing quiet as the students listened to the exchange.

"Why are you here"?

"The reason of the moment is lunch. Storm asked that I stop by and I decided to grab a bite before the meeting".

"I don't know of any meeting".

Illyana replied with a sarcastic tone. "I guess Storm forgot to ask you for permission".

Illyana tossed one of the wontons into the air and Lockheed snatched it and nosily chewed (Kitty never let him have any of her wontons, she kept thinking they were bad for him as they made him somewhat gassy).

Illyana's statements really peeved Rachel. "You should go. You're upsetting the students".

"The students were just fine until you started this public tiff. What's really bugging you Rachel? I would have preferred a more private setting for such discussions, but if you wish a public airing of your grievances then I will accommodate you".

Rachel glared at Illyana. "Your presence. You've harmed many people here, especially Megan. Whom you've done nothing in way of apology for all that you've put her through".

Illyana ate some rice while she replied (no sense letting the food get cold just because Rachel was in a mood). "I have returned the bloodstones that were taken from Megan. The first one by me when I soul raped her. The second stone by Witchfire. I provided her with the enchantment that allowed her to merge the stolen parts of her soul back into herself".

"And that's sufficient"?

Illyana frowned as she replied. "No Rachel. Nothing is sufficient for the harm I caused Megan".

"And yet you do nothing".

Illyana sighed and gave Rachel a condescending look. Then Illyana shouted over her shoulder to Megan who was eating with Victor (Anole) at a table on the other side of the cafeteria. Illyana had deliberately selected a table far from Megan and had eaten with her back to Megan so Megan could glare all she wanted without having to look Illyana in a the face.

"Yo Megan, so do you want to hang out? How' bout we do a Starbucks run and get some Frappuccinos or something. Have a good girl to girl talk. Maybe I could grant you a wish or two? Hell, I'll even show you my tattoo if you're interested in that kind of thing".

"Um.... no". Megan shouted back from the other side of the cafeteria. "You're like literally the last person on earth I want to hang out with or have anything to do with. I think I'd rather eat glass".

Illyana shouted back in conclusion of the conversation. "Don't. It hurts really bad".

Illyana gave Rachel a sarcastic look and a Game of Thrones quote (she liked the show, so did Lockheed but only scenes involving dragons).

"You know nothing Rachel Summers. Megan and I have an understanding. I leave her alone. That's the understanding. If she wants something from me she'll tell me. Not you, not Storm, not anybody else, just me. And it will be private between Megan and I unless she wishes to share".

Rachel found herself fuming. "I bet the inversion was real fun for you. How strongly did you express your demon side? Hurt any more kids? Betray anybody at that lame so called New Xavier school of yours? Or was it more of just being the bitch that you are"?

Illyana took a sip of Coke and then replied. "Coffee. I ended up liking black coffee with no sugar instead of tea. Very annoying. Sorry for the big letdown but the whole inversion thing was rather a non event for me. I was elsewhere taking care of some business and missed the whole party; in fact I didn't even know about it. Rather sucked in that afterwards Kitty was so very upset at her actions and deeds. The only good thing that came out of that was she now had better understanding of...".

Rachel interrupted Illyana "Of you I take it. Oh so convenient. You mean to tell me your inversion was nothing but liking black coffee"?

"Think of the game Dungeons and Dragons. I'm neutral with good and evil behaviors. Inverted that becomes neutral with evil and good behaviors. Not much of a change it turns out. Rather lame I suppose".

Illyana tossed more pork into the air for Lockheed. "But these are false complaints. Megan is not your issue. Nor is anybody else here, not even Victor who still blames me for losing his right arm even though I had nothing to actually do with that loss. I do find it rather annoying to be disliked for something I did not actually do. No, I believe Kitty is the root of your complaints with me".

"You took her from us, from me! How... interesting in that she goes from hating you to running off with you in just one day? Like somebody changed her mind or cast a spell on her? But gee you'd never do that? Oh... yea I think you would".

"No Rachel, I cast no spell on Kitty. Kitty just... left because she felt you all had betrayed her and disregarded her. She left this school and even in the end left earth".

Rachel replied with a hiss of scorn. "And left you as well".

Illyana shook her head with a slight gesture of no as she replied. "A friend living her life is not leaving. That's called living. She wanted a refuge for a while and I was able to offer her one. During that time we became friends again. Then she met someone, fell in love, and left. Good for her. We all should be so lucky".

Illyana magically materialized an empty glass mason jar and put it on the table in front of Rachel.

"Here, I suppose you'll be needed this".

"Why?" Rachel answered back with a disdainful but puzzled expression.

"You appear to be quite obsessed with marking Kitty as your territory so we might as well get a generous sample of your urine as I suppose that it is to be her new perfume. I do wonder what Peter Quill will think of the new fragrance, my guess is that he won't be a big fan. Then again maybe if you changed your name to Peter she might pay more attention to you".

Rachel was stunned for a moment; and everybody in the cafeteria gasped. The shear audacity of Illyana to say such a thing to her. Dem's is fighting words!

Rachel hissed a "How Dare YOU?!" at Illyana and her eyes narrowed in a massive glare. She focused all of her telepathy on Illyana who quailed and quaked under Rachel's power.

Well, Rachel wanted Illyana to quail and quake. What Illyana did was nosily suck on the straw slurping up the last of her Coke while giving Rachel a smirk while looking her right in the eyes.

"Chill Red. I blocked Xavier and Emma. And as a Phoenix member I was even able to block Phoenix Emma from looking in parts of my mind that I did not wish to share. You... just don't have the wattage and... that's rather rude of you to try. And here I thought you were one of the telepathic ethics instructors".

Illyana's smirk then vanished. "Now if you want to have a fight, power or unpowered, I'm always game on".

Rachel stood up in a rage. "Fine! I'm not afraid of you you backstabbing demonic soul stealing child abusing bitch! Meet me in the...". Illyana held up her hand and shushed Rachel (magically) which got Rachel even more pissed off.

"Lying to a hell lord tends to be futile. Lies are like... neon lights to once such as I. Very easily discerned. Of course you're afraid of me. Hell, I'm afraid of me. And I would be a fool to dismiss one such as you". Illyana tossed the last of the pork into the air for Lockheed.

A brief look of irritation. "I will not use your past to trade insults. You... were grievously used and abused in the future you fled from. But bide but for a moment Rachel. You caused your little public scene so time to deal with some answers before you decide try punching out your frustrations on me. You've had a really bad time and it lasted for years and years. Been there, done that so I can really really relate at all the levels of what you've endured and survived and... did. Both to persevere and as a result of... of what was done to you. I'm glad you were friends with Kitty. It's good to have friends. They... help. Kitty is my friend and I'm very happy that she again thinks of me as a friend as well. I have no issue with you and Kitty having been best friends. Why would I? I was dead. So very very dead. Then I was brought back and I was insane from... from... from things that you should comprehend all too well".

Illyana continued. "I am not competing with you over Kitty as it's not fair to try and make a friend pick amongst her friends. Kitty came to me, not you, when she decided to leave this school and break up with her boyfriend. Deal with it".

"Kitty loves Peter Quill and wishes to marry him, not you; deal with it".

"Likely you and Kitty are currently a bit estranged because you have desires and expectations that Kitty does not wish to fulfill; deal with it instead of blaming others".

"Kitty is my friend, but that is no reason why she can't be yours as well; because she is your friend. We grow up, things change, whether we want them to or not. It just is. Deal with that as well and if you need additional help then I might have some additional insights as I have a great deal of unwanted experience with losing everything; just like you".

"Deep friendship are, in part, wanting what will make your friend happy. It's caring about the friend more then about yourself. I want nothing more then Kitty to be happy. I don't pretend that I know what's best for her".

"Oh, and the reason why I currently have Lockheed and why I brought him here to flaunt"?

"Well... Kitty and Peter are currently on a long romantic weekend. Kitty felt guilty that she was not paying enough attention to Lockheed with all the huggy kissy going on between her and Peter; and the fact that Kitty feels... weird if Lockheed is in the room when she and Peter frack each other's brains out. So Kitty asked if I could dragon sit Lockheed for a few days while they... really got at it I suppose. Lockheed is a very dear friend of mine and I always love having him around. But why did I bring him here to flaunt as you so accuse? Well Lockheed is friends with some people here so I asked him if he wanted to come with me today. He did and so here we are. A chance for Lockheed to visit some friends while I speak with Storm after lunch".

Now Illyana stood up. "Friends like you I suspect as you did live with the little stinker for quite a while back when you and Kitty lived in that lighthouse as part of Excalibur. I thought you might want to see him and hang out. A token that I do not wish to diminish or impinge upon your friendship with Kitty as you appear to be very sensitive and needy about it".

"Oh, I was trying to say, before you interrupted me, that Kitty now had a better understanding of some of my actions... and yours. She better understood how the both of us could have made some of the decisions we've made. How... it looked so logical if you think a certain way".

"Now excuse me as I have a meeting with Storm. I'll leave Lockheed with you as you obviously are so much more deserving of his presence then a lowly soul stealing demonic bitch such as I".

Lockheed jumped off of Illyana's shoulders and landed on the table to glare at Rachel.

"If you wish to have a good physical fight then I'll oblige you upon the conclusion of my meeting with Ororo".

There was a flash of light and now Illyana was gone, departed to Storm's office.

The cafeteria was utterly quiet. Lockheed issued a disdainful smoky "Humph" and then laid down on the table, curled up into a ball, and went to sleep; or pretended to. His intent was quite clear in that he did not wish to interact with Rachel.

Rachel closed her mouth. Clenched her hands, and then stiffly walked out of the cafeteria.

Part 9c: Aftermath

Emma had ended up choking while taking a big sip of her red wine. She'd partaken just as Illyana had described the bottle and urine comment.

Emma commented after Illyana was done.

"Rachel has always been problematic. Always finding ways to push people away while complaining that folks don't want to interact with her. And it is inevitable she would consider you... a threat and a competitor".

Illyana sighed. "You know things are not going well when I'm the one able to offer relationship advice. I did not had much interaction with her before I died and again almost no interaction with her after I returned. I had no idea that she was so upset that Kitty had left and that she blamed me".

"By the way how is our absent Kitty?" Emma inquired, sure that she was still on safe inquiry ground. "Enjoying cavorting about the Galaxy with her King of a fiancée I presume".

Illyana stiffed up. Emma, being a telepath, could feel Illyana mentally lock down.

"Oh dear... I appear to have asked a question that you find... uncomfortable. Please disregard the inquiry".

"No... It's a fair question. Kitty is... she's OK, but... things are... there are issues between her and Peter. That was in part why Kitty wanted some major alone time with Peter".

"Please don't tell me any details, such knowledge will just annoy Kitty".

Illyana gave a grin. "Agreed, she really just can't stand you most of the time". Then the grin vanished. "But now she's... really not happy about some things".

"I'm sorry to hear that. But... not completely surprised".

Illyana's eyes narrowed slightly "Why"?

"Kitty has a track record of... selecting males whom... she ends up in conflict with. Kitty is very smart, quite opinionated, and quick to express her feelings and thoughts on almost all topics. The very things she finds appealing in a man tends to also annoy her over time. When she goes for the bad boy she always finds that the bad boy has lots of bad boy baggage. Good boys remain too nice or passive. Bad boys don't sufficiently change. And Kitty tends to not know how to lose gracefully in a fight or when to leave well enough alone. In short Kitty is not skilled in man management as it were".

Emma's answer left Illyana rather annoyed. Annoyed that Emma had such opinions about Kitty, and annoyed that they were more then a little spot on. Emma continued.

"And that leaves you unhappy in that you can't do anything about it. Which is oh so convenient for you".

Illyana's face took on a guarded expression. "How is that convenient for me"?

Illyana was being very very careful to not make any decisions for Kitty.

"Let's you secretly fret about Kitty instead of dealing with your own issues. Speaking of which, how are you progressing on that list I had you write up"?

"I've... made a bunch of good progress. Brother, Kitty, and Dani. Four down, six items to go".

Emma decided that it was time to give Illyana a bit more motivation, a push as it were.

"Good. But rather weak".

"Weak"?!

"Illyana dear, who's the therapist here? Weak. You need to branch out. You need others who are outside of your current circles. You need to avoid the mistakes of the past by not repeating the behaviors of the past. Didn't you mention that Stephen has invited you to that bar he goes to? The one that supposedly the various magical practitioners frequent"?

"Yes". Illyana gave a sigh. "Still undecided about that".

"What would Kitty say"?

"She'd say go".

"So why not take her and my advice? Who knows, maybe you'll even have fun. Meet some people who might actually like you. That has to be better then listening to Rachel being spiteful and jealous".

Illyana grumbled to herself while even Lockheed chimed in with a smoky but tired sounding "Yea..." as he curled up on his chair and went to sleep.

Emma made an additional inquiry as Illyana sat there thinking. "How did the fight with Rachel go"?

Illyana put on a blank look. "Why do you think there was a fight"?

Emma just looked at Illyana. Finally Illyana gave a small grin.

"It was fun".

"Who won"?

Illyana now had a sarcastic expression with a half grin. "Who do you think won"?

Now Emma also had a sarcastic expression with a frown. "Did you throw yet another fight"?

Illyana's facial expression went all innocent like, as if butter wouldn't have melt in her mouth. "Now Emma would I deliberately lose a fight"?

"Yes, I have noticed that you tend to do that. Repeatedly. Very... manipulative and astute of you I might add".

A wicked grin from Illyana. "Always good to be underestimated".

Emma was feeling... pleased with the session. She asked a question. “Desert”?

“Hmm, no I…” Illyana caught the gleam in Emma’s eyes and the sinful smile. “Ummm...".

Ahhh, Emma thought to herself. She's still surprisingly naive about so many things. Who would have thought that a simple inquiry would fluster a Hell Lord.

Illyana thought upon the question and then answered. "Hmm, I suppose I could be… tempted. Any… suggestions”?

Just an even more wicked grin from Emma as she slowwwwwllllyyyy licked her lips, which actually brought a slight blush to Illyana's face.

Emma went for the kill. "Well... Lockheed does need a nap after his gluttonous feast and... I'm certain that we can find something to occupy themselves with...".

Illyana grinned back. They departed the restaurant and...

Yea, they did find something to occupy themselves with...

Chapter Text

Part 10: The Bar With No Doors

It was nighttime and Illyana stood next to a brick wall in New York City. Two shopping bags each continuing two boxes were at her feet. She was dressed in her black field costume of short shorts, gloves, boots, and that very revealing top.

She had on her usual stoic facial expression, but in reality she was very nervous. This was a big step for her. Almost everybody would be a complete stranger, and some of the non strangers were people she'd kind of tried to kill or imprison when she was a Phoenix Five member (well... a bit more then kind of, like... really tried).

Illyana was about to do something she hadn't done since she had died. She was going out to a social event where everybody would be almost complete strangers apart from Doctor Strange. She was basically on her own.

Illyana pulled scrap of paper out of nowhere. It had ten entries. Four had lines through them. Entry seven simply said: Meet new people and make new friends.

Emmy had been very clear that the word "try" was to never be on the list. Try was a weasel word and Emma's impersonation of Yoda was really rather lame (There is no try, there is do and not do).

Illyana suddenly got a mental image of Luke Skywalker training with a Yoda dressed like Emma (white panties, corset, long blonde hair and a riding crop). After a prolonged fit of giggles (wow that version of Star Wars would be rather... interesting) she got hold of herself.

Illyana shoved the scrap of paper back into nowhere and groused to herself. Damn it. Illyana so hated it when Emma was right.

Let's do it.

Illyana hummed the enchantment to herself that would transport her to the bar by allowing herself to fade into a wall and pass into the bar that was deep within the ground of New York City. She had an internal giggle as she wondered just who the hell had decided to embedded the theme song lyrics from the TV show Cheers into the incantation.

All those nights when your've got no lights, the check is in the mail.

And your little angel hung the cat up by it's tail.

And your third fiancй didn't show!

Sometimes you wanna go..

Where everybody knows your name

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

the troubles are all the same.

you wanna be where everybody knows your name.

She emerged from the wall into the Bar With No Doors holding a bag in each hand. A magicians only lounge, hidden deep within the bowels of New York City.

What did it look like? Well.. The décor was part seedy Tiki bar, part wicker, and part dive. It was dimly lit and there were lots of odd... things on the walls; plus old antique posters from magical Broadway acts. There were no electrical lights, just torches, candles, and Chinese lanterns of all colors.

Watch out for the black cats, they were part pest control and part security (you so don't want to see the pussies get riled up).

There were tables and booths and there was always the bar if one wanted a solitary drink. The bartender was a floating head in a jar by the name of Chondu (nice guy but not really interested in your problems, after all his head is in a jar so he was not very... sympathetic. He does make a Bloody Mary to die for though).

The ceiling was lost in shadows and the bar was filled with dark corners, leading to... Well let's just say that you should keep to the lit areas. There was a uni-sex bathroom that looked like it had been lifted from some 1960's bathroom (it had been cleaned since the 1960s but... was a bit unkempt as bar bathrooms tend to get).

Oh, and there was a small stage as well. Houdini had played there a few times and there was a rumor that Victor von Doom had once tried a stand up comic routine. Just once and... well it turns out heckling Doom is a really bad idea. Suffice it to say that he killed it (the heckler that is, not his act. Doom is a horrible comedian).

Illyana made her way to the bar, pushing past a few people (the bar was rather crowded, the rumor was that Magik was making an appearance). The noise of the bar did not change despite Illyana's presence. Something that she noticed in the back of her mind and something that... she liked. Nice to not have her presence be conversational poison for once.

There was only two people sitting at the bar. An old magician by the name of Monako, and some bug eyed creature (what ever it was, it was drinking shots).

She got to the bar and was confronted by the hovering head of Chondu. He greeted her and asked her the first of the ritual questions.

"Magik. As one who approaches us for the first time, did you bring the sacrifice"?

"I have". Illyana retrieved the boxes from the bags and placed them on the bar. She could feel the eyes of those present watching her.

She pulled some paper plates and plastic forks out of the bags and opened the boxes. Each box continued... a Red Velvet Cake (from Costco).

Chondu spoke a question to the crowd. "She has brought a sacrifice. Is it worthy of us"?

"It is" chanted back the crowd.

A knife floated from behind the bar and began to cut slices. The cut slices then floated onto a plate, with a fork, and floated out into the crowd.

Chondu asked the next ritual question "Are you prepared to pay the price"?

"I am" replied Illyana. She presented her Diner's club card (yea Diner's club card kind of sucks, but they have a lock on the inter-dimensional traffic).

"Drinks on Magik!" announced Chondu to the cheering of the crowd. The standing rule was a two thousand dollar max tab for first time attendees.

Chondu spoke again "Are you prepared to demonstrate singular and in concert with another"?

Illyana nibbled her lower lip, in apprehension, and then replied "I am". She produced a sheet of paper and it floated out of her hand over to Chondu who examined it.

The noise of the bar faded away into silence. She stepped away from the bar and walked over to the stage and stepped onto to it, turned and faced the crowd. The room went mostly dark and a white spotlight now illuminated Illyana.

She braced herself, held out her right hand and a microphone floated into her hand.

"Fire up the infernal machine!" bellowed Chondu.

Music began to play. It was an old big band song (minus the lyrics). Illyana began sing her version of Frank Sinatra's song My Way.

And now, the end is near;

I face the final curtain.

My friend, I'll say it clear,

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full.

I've traveled each and every highway;

And more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

...

It was Karaoke Thursday at the bar with no doors. The traditional day that newcomers came to the bar and presented themselves with their oaths and offerings. Karaoke was actually available most nights if the mood was right.

...

Regrets, I've had a few;

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;

Each careful step along the byway,

And more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

...

Daimon Hellstrom whispered to a female companion. "Damn that's a good song choice. Better then mine when I first came here. Rather embarrassed that I sang Sympathy For The Devil".

...

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew.

But through it all, when there was doubt,

I ate it up and spit it out.

I faced it all and I stood tall;

And did it my way.

...

Illyana sang with passion (and not completely on key). She was giving it all she had.

...

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.

I've had my fill; my share of losing.

And now, as tears subside,

I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;

And may I say - not in a shy way,

"Oh no, oh no not me,

I did it my way".

...

Illyana closed her eyes and sang the rest from memory.

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught.

To say the things he truly feels;

And not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows -

And did it my way!

Yes, it was my way!

The crowd went wild! Major cheering and catcalls.

Illyana opened her eyes and smiled, then she giggled. That had been really fun; and so totally out of character. Maybe Emma was right, time to lighten up a little.

Chondu floated over to somebody in the crowd and whispered something to them. The person had a shocked expression and stared at Illyana who waved for them to come up to the stage.

Meanwhile...

"Mmmm good cake. Damn Costco makes a great red velvet cake". Mumbled Doctor Voodoo (his mouth was full and he was already on his third slice).

"Wouldn't know, can't eat it any more" complained Doctor Strange while eyeing the cake with longing.

"Still able to drink I see and I notice you're going for the good stuff since she's paying".

"Thank the gods above. Do you have any idea how much this stuff costs?" replied Doctor Strange.

Voodoo finally swallowed and then spoke again. "Good sized crowd, guess having Magik finally show up really peaked everybody's interest".

Shaman wandered over. "Ok, I lost the bet. She actually showed up and sang. Rounds are on me the next time we meet up".

"And none of that cheap Canadian swill you like. We want the good stuff" huffed Professor Xu as she floated over.

"You don't even drink" complained Shaman while mentally adding a zero or two to his anticipated bar tab.

"But others do and paying a gambling debt must be done with honor" Professor Xu replied will sipping her virgin Pina Colada (she loved pineapple based drinks).

"Do my eyes deceive me or has the end of world begun"? Shaman said with awe in his voice as he pointed to the stage.

"What?! What?!" Doctor Strange said with a bit of hasty panic as he turned around. He hoped Illyana wasn't one of those girls gone wild types. Things would get dicey once she sobered up and had time to get angry over any... actions she might regret.

No, Illyana had not taken off her top (thank the gods above, although.... NO! Banish that thought)!

Something even more improbable was taking place. Now both Illyana and... and Wanda Maximoff (The Scarlet Witch) were on the stage. Miss No more mutants and a former Phoenix Five band member were reuniting to sing a duet together, formally burying the hatchet (and not in each other's head so a major plus).

They looked at each other, each with a microphone in hand, and then Illyana began to sing I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) by Meatloaf. Illyana sang with passion and intensity.

[Illyana:]

And I would do anything for love

I'd run right into hell and back

I would do anything for love

I'd never lie to you and that's a fact

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,

Oh no, no way

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that

No, I won't do that

Anything for love

Oh, I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that

No, I won't do that

Some days it don't come easy

Some days it don't come hard

Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end

Some nights you're breathing fire

Some nights you're carved in ice

Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

...

"Wow. Who would have thunk it. Never in a million years would I believe that was possible". Shaman said while looking at his drink (he was wondering if somebody had slipped him something).

"No. It's real. I see it as well". Said Doctor Strange.

...

[Illyana:]

Some days I pray for silence

Some days I pray for soul

Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll

Some nights I lose the feeling

Some nights I lose control

Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be

That's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep

As long as the wheels are turning

As long as the fires are burning

As long as your prayers are coming true

You'd better believe it, that I would do

...

Professor Xu stated with a tone of aloof enlightenment. "Peace and harmony under the mandate of heaven. I am content this day".

Count Kaoz (a Russian sorcerer and rather... grimy) was enthralled. Before he had always had to go to rather seedy bars to see something like this. Now if only it would turn into a girl gone wild situation (he had all the DVDs).

Now it was Wanda's turn to sing and she also gave it her all. Both of them were shamelessly over acting and being dramatic in how they sang.

...

[Wanda:]

Will you raise me up? will you help me down?

Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?

Will you make it all a little less cold?

[Illyana:]

I can do that

I can do that

[Wanda:]

Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?

Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?

Can you make it all a little less old?

[Illyana:]

I can do that

Oh no, I can do that

...

"Is... is Illyana trying to come on to Wanda"? Whispered Doctor Voodoo to Doctor Strange.

"Well... Wanda is a brunette...". Strange left unsaid the remainder of his thoughts.

...

[Wanda:]

Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?

Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?

Can you give me something I can take home?

[Illyana:]

I can do that

I can do that

[Wanda:]

Will you cater to every fantasy I got?

Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?

Will you take me places I've never known?

[Illyana:]

I can do that

Oh no, I can do that

...

...

El Madico Misticao (the magical bigwig of Mexico) whispered " La mejor noche de Karaoke vez (Best Karaoke night ever)"!

Mahatma Doom whispered back. "Much would I give to see them sing I got you babe".

...

[Wanda:]

After a while you'll forget everything

It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling

And you'll see that it's time to move on

[Illyana:]

I won't do that

I won't do that

[Wanda:]

I know the territory, I've been around

It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down

Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

[Illyana:]

I won't do that

No, I won't do that

Anything for love

Oh, I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that

No, I won't do that

Again the crowd went nuts as the song finished and they both took a bow.

The bar closed late that night and Illyana became a regular attendee when time permitted.

Chapter Text

Part 11: Early warning signs

Vittles. Never forget the vittles.

Not the most insightful bit of wisdom, but one that stuck in Victor's mind.

It was early evening and Victor Creed (A.K.A Sabretooth) was outside sitting on a bench at the Jean Grey School memorial park holding a slightly soggy paper plate, the kind that aren't plastic coated so they tend to soak up liquids. A plate holding some potato salad, some barbequed sausages soaked in spicy hot sauce, half a pickle, an oatmeal cookie, and a little white plastic fork and knife. He also had a six pack of Coke.

He was eating alone (which was no big surprise). The other attendees were either by the pool, inside at the dining hall, or cloistered in meetings. Only one meeting was of any importance, the one that the Boss was attending. The Boss being Erik Lehnsherr, or more commonly known by his stage name Magneto (the stage in this case being the world).

The meeting about the Terrigen Mists and what was happening to mutants.

Blazes, he even found himself eating differently and enjoying different kinds of foods. He had always liked spicy, but now... Mmmm... now he loved hot sauce on his meat instead of... well... it being rather raw.

Figures the Runt would go and die grumbled Victor to himself. Probably did it just to spite me. Man he'd have been eating a crow the size of Elvis just for letting Victor be here. Not that being a good guy was all sweets and roses. No... rather sucked due to Victor's history and past actions.

Victor downed one of the cans of Coke in one long gulp (And since when did I start liking soda)?

Victor heard, and smelled, somebody coming up the gravel path. Shit... It's her. She always gave him the willies, although he hid it well. Something about her scent...

Illyana came around a path corner, he was also holding a paper plate (containing a cheeseburger) and holding a coke.

"You my minder girl"? Victor grumbled.

"Yep" Illyana answered as she approached and then sat down on the same bench as Victor (which was very deliberate, intrude on his space as it were).

"Why you"?

"Take a whiff and guess" was Illyana's answer.

Victor scowled. Not even a hint of fear or hated from her. Hell, she smelled bored, not a scent most folks had around him.

"Did you volunteer or were you asked"? Victor inquired as he grinned evilly while munching a sausage.

"Asked. You rather wig out most of the folks here and Storm felt that the ones who wanted to be your babysitter were just a bit too eager".

"You think you can take me"?

"Yep" Illyana replied as she started munching on her burger.

"Any big plans or are you just going to gut me with that sword of yours"?

"Acid. I'll teleport you into Limbo and plunge you into a a pool of demonic acid that is inhabited by demonic fly maggots that will strip all the flesh from your dissolving bones. It will be quick, but I suppose it would rather hurt".

Creed didn't bother to ask if she had the stones for it. She did, he could sense it.

"Weird isn't it"? Illyana asked.

"What"? Grumbled Victor. Everybody wanted to play psychiatrist with him.

"Being good. I find it so weird at times. I look back upon prior decisions I've made and I'm rather distressed by what I was and how I thought".

Victor eyed her out of the corner of his eyes. "Yea... it's weird".

"I can relate" was her reply as she took another bite of her burger.

"I suppose you can now that I think about it".

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Then Victor asked a question.

"Why aren't you in the big meeting"?

"No need, I've sided with Ororo on this. Plus... all that talk is rather boring".

"Yea... I feel the same way".

More silence.

"Wana fight"? Illyana asked.

"I guess so, but we first need to make sure that folks know that I'm not trying to kill you".

"Makes sense".

They got up to go inform that power's that be that they were going to engage in some combat to relieve the boredom.

Funny, Victor thought to himself, just don't feel like calling her a frail. She might look like a woman, but damn... so not...

Frail.

Chapter Text

This story has a tangential reference to my One Night Stand Story and has references to the story Cosmic Girl Talk and some thoughts about Secret Wars III and Battleworld and Illyana/Kitty discussions about it.

 I write these chapters as ideas come to me, likely there will be more chapters as we learn about the death of X.

Part 12: Exfoliation

Illyana floated in the nothing that Limbo currently was.

It was time to decide. She had a decision to make, one that had been on her mind for quite some time. The recent game night with Kitty and the Guardian's of the Galaxy had finally motivated her.

KITTY FLASHBACK

“You’ve faded” Was Illyana’s comment as Kitty and Illyana walked down a corridor in the Guardian's spaceship.

Illyana and Kitty were hanging out together on the Guardian’s of the Galaxy space ship. Also present was Lockheed who was around Kitty’s neck. It had been game night and Kitty had invited Illyana to play (much to the annoyance of Rocket Raccoon who ended up aghast at Illyana's character burning down the temple of the divine Shick-No).

INTERLUDE

“Frack Illyana!” Raccoon had raged. “How come you always have such strange solutions? I swear you revel in chaos! You’re even worse then Gamora”!

“She’s definitely worse” had been Gamora’s comment which had earned her a dark oh just you wait glance from Illyana.

Illyana briefly explained. “Outcomes. Reality vs. fiction. Scripted narrative vs. freeform. Take count Dracula for example, resting in his crypt by day. What do the villages do”?

Drak bellowed his response (shouting was sometimes a thing with Drak) “They cower”!

Illyana winced at the volume. “Yes. When the solution was rather simple. Bright day, large quantifies of wood and oil. Whoosh, big ol’ fire and roasted brides of Dracula. The count was very unhappy and fled in search of a more… hospitable locality”.

“What game was this?” asked Kitty. She’d really gotten back into gaming since joining the Guardians.

Illyana suddenly looked embarrassed (Kitty was really the only one who could trigger that emotion in Illyana). “Ummm... I… Well... it kind of... happened for real while I was on my journey... back when I was… well... you know”.

“You killed Dracula?” asked a disbelieving Kitty.

“Ahhh… yea... a different dimension's Dracula. First we made him homeless and then killed him a few days later after running him to ground like a fox being chased by hounds. The count was very upset, felt it was beneath his station to be so treated”.

“We”?

“It’s a long story. Involved a… well kind of a friend. I’ll… maybe I’ll tell you someday. It’s… complicated”.

Kitty resolved to make someday happen a bit sooner, but not today.

END INTERLUDE

“I know. Not so easy come… but easy go I guess. Rather glad to be honest. I find it nice not having so much… insight into others”. Was Kitty’s reply.

Kitty and Illyana were walking away from the game room where Rocket could still be heard ranting “Menace I tell you! Menace to gamers everywhere! She should be…”.

“I am Groot”! Was Groot’s inevitable response.

“Oh… taking her side I see! Flaming fracknard traitor”!

“I am Groot” was the snide but expected reply (bet you saw that one coming).

“What?!!! She bribed you? Oh the indignity! You always did have a weakness for...”

The voices faded away as Kitty and Illyana walked around a corner.

“You did that just to rile him up didn’t you?” smirked Kitty.

“Yep” Illyana replied with a slight grin. At least Kitty understood Illyana's sense of humor (at least some of the time).

“And the others who got boosted”? Asked Kitty returning to the topic of the Black Vortex.

“Faded just like you and Gamora”. Was Illyana’s reply. “Although Angel still has his new wings”.

“What are you and Gamora doing later? She said she’d meet up with you”?

“Oh… she found me to be a marginally acceptable... sparing partner. I think she wants a rematch on a little… competition we had”. Illyana said with a slight grin.

“Humph… Gamora likes to fight way too much. Well... have fun with that”.

“I plan to” was Illyana’s dead pan reply.

Illyana broached an unpleasant topic. “Umm you and Peter still… Um… having… ummm...”.

“Problems? Yea. I’m… I don’t know. We keep… we keep. I’m not sure. We’ll figure it out”.

“Ok”. Illyana said as she retreated from the topic.

“So… we all faded but you…”.

“Was what I was before the Black Vortex and did not eat of its fruit so... yea still walking around with the power of Limbo”.

"Why didn't you eat of the fruit as it were"? Asked Kitty.

"You saw my reflection in that thing, right"? Illyana had an exasperated tone as she replied, like that was the answer.

"Yea..."? Kitty replied in a questioning tone.

"I looked like Lady Gaga for crying out loud. Now you might not have issues dressing that badly...".

"Hey, sensitive topic! Lay off my inability to come up with a proper look"! Retorted Kitty.

"But I have standards. Plus I like wearing black". Finished Illyana.

Kitty stated the obvious. "Black does look good on you, but frankly not much material in that costume of yours. Why on earth do you like showing so much skin"?

Illyana had a musing look as she replied. "Not quite sure... Likely influenced by Emma. Maybe some mental residue from when we were Phoenix? I like the look so it's not an issue with me".

"Still... It's rather... out there even for you".

"Just being me Kitty".

"How goes working with the X-Men and the Jean Grey School"?

"Getting better, some of them are actually trusting me more. Bobby for one which is a bit of a surprise. In fact Ororo, Bobby and I were in a training session before I came here for game night".

TRAINING FLASHBACK

“Shards”! Cried Illyana as she plummeted from the sky! Her lower body was encased in ice and a hurricane force downdraft had overcome her own levitation/flying spell (due to the massively increase surface area that the ice was providing the wind).

Illyana franticly struggled to free herself from the ice. She cast a spell to radiated heat from her body, but it was to no avail as the ice kept renewing itself as fast as she could melt it. Her attempts to hack at the ice with her sword were useless as she had no leverage to get a really good swing going.

She impacted the ground before she could switch to a different stratagem. Impacted with sufficient force to drive her body deep underground in an explosion of earth and rock and ice (the two plus tons of ice was responsible for that).

“Oh shit Storm”! Uttered Bobby in dismay, both giving voice to his concerns and accidently describing the situation to a tee. “Did we just kill Magik”?

Bobby was flying about the sky on his ice ramp while Storm was flying about on the winds. Just prior to Bobby trying to freezing the hell out of Magik, but only able to encase her lower half, Storm had unleashed a massive lightning storm against the levitating Magik (who used her sword to defect and absorb the lethal lightning).

Ororo had a look of aghast horror. “Bright Goddess I pray we have not Bobby”!

Ororo and Bobby were involved in a remote training session with Illyana. The danger room was simply insufficient for full power exercises for the likes of Bobby and Ororo. Not to mention that there really were very few people they could fully cut loose against. Illyana had ported the three of them to a remote locale and was engage in a two on one combat with them so as to the two of them the chance to fully engage their offensive abilities (It had been Bobby's idea).

Illyana had first cast some major safety wards and spells to ensure that quote “Don’t want to end up accidently killing each other” end quote.

Bobby's ice ramp suddenly disintegrated. Behind them Illyana had ported into existence and had used her sword to destroy his ramp.

Bobby tried to generate a new slide, only to find that he was enclosed in a zero percent humidly magical shell. He had time only for a single screamed “SHITTTTTT”! before it was his turn to impact the ground in an ice shattering impact.

Illyana spit out a mouthful of dirt. “Back at you Storm” was her comment as she unleashed lightning from her sword.

Ororo shrieked in pain as she received the blast (partially absorbed and partially deflected). Her concentration disrupted and now it was her turn to fall from the sky.

A reformed Bobby (breaking Bobby into bits is far from fatal for Bobby as he is made of ice after all, just needed to put the pieces back together again) quickly created a ice slide to change her fall. He turned to confront Illyana but she was gone. Bobby then screamed in surprised pain as Illyana’s sword cut off his left ice arm.

Another hurricane gust of wind swept Illyana off of her feet and sent her sliding on now frozen ground. Then a truly massive lightning strike from the sky fried Illyana where she lay.

And with that the battle was over, apart from the popping and hissing sounds of the now cooling ground and... Bobby cussing up a storm.

After a minute or so Ororo gingerly got to her feet (remember frozen ground). “Bobby are you well”?

“Yea... Shit! I hate it when I get broken up. Hurts like a bitch when I switch back to human form. You”?

“I fear I shall be very ache in the morning”.

“What? No words of concern for me”? A rather singed and smoking Illyana stated as she climbed to her feet out of the small crater. Her hair was completely standing on end and she looked rather like a singed blonde cotton ball.

“NO”! Bobby and Ororo both said at the same time. Then they started to giggle and then laugh at Illyana's appearance.

"What? Do I have something on my face"? Illyana asked with some confusion as she looked down upon her body (making sure that she didn't have a boob showing or something. That had happened once in the New Mutants and Sam had turned such a bright shade of red).

Bobby collapsed in laugher and a giggling Ororo pulled out her phone and took a picture.

Illyana materialized a mirror and gazed upon her blond singed afro. Then she too started to giggle and then laugh.

The laughter finally simmered down and Bobby got to his feet. "That was too funny. Reminds me of the time that Magneto got the ass part of his costume blown off but didn't notice that his cheeks were flapping in the wind. Man was his upset at the press photo".

A minor enchantment from Illyana fixed her hair, and then she said with a smirk. “Well, time for round two I suppose. Hope it's as fun as round one”.

Both Ororo and Bobby groaned.

SOME TIME LATER

Bobby and Ororo were in Ororo’s office. Bobby was lying down on a couch (in human form) with an ice pack on his head, a heating pad on his shoulder and a large, and very stiff, drink in his hand (drinking it with a straw).

Ororo was leaning back in the leather chair that was behind her desk and contemplating taking a nap in it (well... more the contemplating).

“I hurt” complained Bobby. “I hurt in places that shouldn’t be capable of hurting. Heck my hurt's hurt. Even my earlobes hurt, never even knew that possible”.

“I shall indulge in take a long hot bath” was Ororo’s comment. “Just as soon as I find the energy to get out of this chair. Soon now… so very soon”.

Bobby continued. "I can see now why her former students said she was such a hard ass. Like she out Scott'd Scott on training. But... makes sense. I mean think about it... Her formative mentors since she came back from the dead, and that mysterious journey of hers, were Scott, Emma and Magneto for crying out loud".

"Ruthless, violent, no hesitation, goes for the throat, and a distinct tendency not to gloat until after the dagger is in the back and twisted". Observed Ororo as she commented upon Illyana's combat behavior.

"Sarcastic... don't forget sarcastic". Complained Bobby.

"How forgetful of me... yes very sarcastic at times".

Bobby groaned his response after a long sip. “That was a good training session. Very… invigorating. Need to do that again in a year or two or like… never”.

“It was your idea Bobby”.

“Shoot me next time, I'm rather sure that it would be much less painful. Where is she anyway”?

“Said that she had a game night to go attend. Kitty apparently invited her”.

“After all that and she’s mobile”?

“Omega class Bobby. Omega class”.

“So are we”.

“I know”. Groan. “I know. Remember how many folks Scott had in his office when we locked her up”?

“Yea… but that was because we thought… shit I don’t… Guess Omega for more than her teleportation time thingy she can do”.

“Yes according to Scott’s and Emma’s notes”.

“You have their notes”?

“Scott... provide me a copy quite some time ago”.

“Why”?

“He felt that Illyana’s capabilities and state of mind needed to be… comprehended by other X leaders”.

“What I understand is the need for a hot tub. What say you Ororo? Ororo”?

Ororo quietly started to snore.

“Yea, I second that idea”. Bobby turned on his side with a hiss of pain and likewise took a nap as well. Next time he was so not going to take it easy on her. Yea next time…

snore.

END TRAINING FLASHBACK

"Learned that an afro hair style is so not a good look for me".

"What"?!

Illyana pulled an iPhone out of nowhere and showed Kitty the picture that Ororo had taken. Kitty promptly got the giggles and they exchanged laughter for a bit. Then Illyana broached a question that had been on her mind lately.

"Um Kitty... mind if I ask you a rather weird question"?

"No, shoot".

"Have you been having any... strange dreams? By strange I mean... being on another world and being another... person. Somebody like you but... different... but still... well you".

"Ok, that's weird. Ummm... no. Weird dreams yea. There was this one with Peter and I and we were... ummmn... never mind. But nothing weird like that. Care to provide any details?   Come-on... spill the beans to momma Pryde".

"It's... foggy. I'm... on this strange planet and I'm forced to fight for a god I despise. And that god is Victor von Doom of all people. Yea... like I said, weird. I'm sentenced to fight on this wall that blocks evil robots and zombies, but... I meet somebody and... I really... like... them. Like them... a lot".

Kitty gave Illyana a sly look. "Really like in like... you know...".

"Yea... like like that".

"Was he cute"?

"Yea... she was".

"Oh...".

"Yea...".

"Umm... is that a thing with you now"?

"Not sure... I find attraction to be less gender based and more person specific. Certain... traits appeal to me I guess".

"Ok, not an issue with me. Heck I swear Rachel chased me for like ages. Was this a one time dream or does it reoccur"?

"The dream comes and goes. Rather... well it's like it's more of a memory then a dream... and... well... it's really odd. Sorry to both you about it but I wanted... guess I wanted to talk to somebody about it".

Kitty repeated her prior opinion. "I think you should do what I keep telling you should start seeing people... dating".

"Kind of hard to date somebody like me".

"So do something about that. We both know you can".

END KITTY FLASHBACK

Illyana floated in the void that was Limbo and thought.

What am I is at least a better question then who am I? Rather glad to be past who am I stage. I… I’ve been so much, been through so much, been so reduced and lost. Yet after all that has happened I’m… Illyana. And I’m really happy about that.

Am I a continuation of the prior me? Am I just the continuation of me? Don’t know and don’t care any more. I’m me and… I’m ok with that. Shards... I’m even beginning to like me.

Better question is what am I? Dr. Strange and I have theories, but not definitive proof. I may be...

An extension of Limbo itself given form and consciousness.

I may just be Illyana merged with Limbo.

I may be a bit of both.

Or just potentially the strongest sorceress in recent history. Time will tell I suppose.

Not sure what I truly am, not sure what I truly want to be. But… the power that I’ve consumed will make choices for me due to the implications.

Limbo stands empty and that is one path. Or… I can take another. One more… mortal.

What do I want? I’m…

I want me.

I want to be me.

I want to see what I might become.

I want... I want the chance to...

So the choice is easy.

There was no burst of light. No big bang. Just… one moment Limbo was empty and the next moment it was not. Still not a good place, still a reflection of its ruler so still… nasty.

Illyana stood upon a mountain top and survived Limbo.

Yea… that’s better.

Was rather tired of feeling too big for my skin.

Chapter Text

Part 13a: Schism that was

Quite some time ago, before the Extinction team and the formation of the Jean Grey School (JGS)...

Scott and Emma were observing Logan via the cameras in the X-Brig; and Scott was fuming about it.

"This was not part of the agreement". Scott complained to Emma.

"Logan appears to be taking a more... flexible interpretation of the phrase voluntary residence". Was her reply.

"She's locked up for a reason. Good reasons damn it".

"Reasons that he was never fully onboard with".

"We can't just let her walk out and leave".

"No... and yet can we say no if she accepts"?

"We could try... but...". Scott grimaced. Things had already turned to crap, now he was contemplating it burning as well.

"Schism is better then outright civil war". Emma concluded.

Part 13b: X-Brig, 500 feet beneath the waves

Illyana was standing in her X-Brig cell. As always she is wearing bomb jacket. She had regained her bangs as her jailors had finally allowed her hair to be cut.

Logan is visiting in civilian clothing (cowboy hat, jeans, boots, and a red flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up). He looks tired and grumpy and fed up (which he is). Schism was upon the tribe of Mutants. Everybody who was voluntarily at Utopia was being asked by Wolverine if they want to leave for the JGS.

A splitting. Sides are being picked. Boxes are being packed. Words are being exchanged, some kind and some not so kind. Even some fisticuffs.

Logan had come to ask Illyana (A.K.A Magik) if she would like to leave. He had explained to her what had happened, the big fight with both the Hellfire club sentinel and Scott.

"Are you asking all the other prisoners"? Was her initial response.

"No kid, just you".

"Why me"?

"Because I think you deserve the opportunity. A do-over".

"At what"?

"Life. Something beyond all that has happened to you".

Illyana appeared to be thinking it over. Then looked around with her eyes and raised one hand in some kind of gesture indicating the whole cell as she asked a kind of silent question. Logan gruffly answered her.

"No, I don't have permission to take you assuming you choose to leave".

"Then that might be a problem" Illyana relied.

"I'm ok with that if it comes to that".

Illyana sat down on her shelf of a cot and turned her head sideways in thought.

"Will the people who are leaving with you be ok with it"?

Logan was silent.

"Yea, I kind of thought that". Illyana replied with an ironic half grin. "Have... Kitty and my brother decided"?

"Petties staying, Kitty's going".

"What... would be my status if I said yes? Student? Instructor? Staff? Outcast? Jailor? Or... still a prisoner"?

"Don't know... that would be for the group to decide".

Illyana hesitated and then asked a question while not looking Logan in the eye.

"So... Utopia almost falls. All is lost and... both Scott and you leave me in this cell. Why was that"?

Now Logan was the one to look away as he answered. "Mistrust. It... it fit the scenario of an Illyana prison break. That you might have... arranged it or known of it. That it was all a setup to make you look good, to be the hero at the last second".

Illyana had an ironic and bitter smile. "Thank you for the honesty. Don't get much of that from folks. Nice to have it said out loud what folks think of me".

Illyana sighed. "Logan I do not think this is a good idea, you and those who have decided to leave. There are too few of us left".

"Been said by others, been rejected by others. Some are leaving, some are staying".

Illyana twirled a piece of hair. "I do wish to be free but... I suspect if I leave, and was actually permitted to leave, that your... group makeup would change. Don't... think I'd be welcome. And... I don't wish to trouble Kitty".

Illyana continued. "I'm a prisoner. But even if I wasn't, I suspect I would find it just as difficult to leave. You... can go now Logan. Your... courtesy offer has been made and... rejected".

Another smile from her that conveyed no joy. "Your plans are safe, no need to figure out how to accommodate the demon".

Logan grumbled. "Dislike it that you're still calling yourself that".

"And what would you have me call myself in its place"?

Again silence from Logan.

"Yea... me too Logan. I wish I was not as I am. But tell me... did you really think I'd know of or arrange that"?

Logan's silence was all the answer that Illyana got.

"Yea... thought so. I'll stay. You really don't need the bother of my presence. After all, how do you trust somebody the telepaths can't read and who can lie to your face and even you can't tell"?

Logan asked a question. "How is that anyway? Nothing shifts with you. Your scent, your heartbeat, everything is the same regardless of truth or lie. Is it self control or something else"?

Illyana kind of answered. "I... I don't think... I don't think I'm... Kind of back to that whole demon thing. I would not be good for your new school, nor would I be... welcome".

Logan turned to go. "Goodbye kid".

"Goodbye Logan. And thank you for the offer".

Part 13c: Plans change (some time later)

Emma had an exasperated tone. "Let met get this straight. You didn't let her out because you're concerned that is was all a setup. So now you're contemplating letting her out for this new team of yours"?

"Things change Emma. I'm trying to play the hand I have, not the hand I wish I had".

"And there are fewer cards in the deck now I suppose". Emma finished.

"Yea... Everybody keeps taking potshots at us. We need a heavy hitter team".

"And that's not a potential setup? Reduce your options until you think you have no choice"?

Scott replied. "If so then she's outmaneuvering us on a scale that I simply can't conceive of. But the truth be told I don't think so anymore. I really don't think she does know the future because she doesn't want to. and we need to make use of the resources left to us".

"Concur darling... concur".

Chapter Text

Part 14: Kitty

Kitty was sitting at a kitchen table (there were in fact several tables in kitchen) having some morning coffee. The others were out on an endurance hike and general training march with Illyana (Scott was sleeping in late). It had been a long couple of days and Kitty was just enjoying the coffee and the down time when Emma wandered in.

Emma was wearing a robe and had her hair done up on a towel (shed' just had a shower). Emma look surprised to see Kitty.

"Oh Kitty... I thought you would be out with the other exercise fanatics".

"Naaaa" Kitty said as she sipped her coffee (wow this place has really great coffee was her thought). "I figured that I'd get extra whining but leaving Illyana to do it would shut most of them up; except Bobby that is, but even he shut up quickly after a glare from Illyana". Bobby had been complaining about the death march, as he put it.

"Yes..." Emma slowly stated as she pored herself a cup as well. "Our little Magik has ways of making people... compliant".

"Yea she does tend to have the affect on people", Kitty replied with a thoughtful look.

Emma sat down at the table. "So Kitty, how do you like this concrete mutant warehouse and general purpose end of the world bunker"?

Kitty was not delighted to be talking to Emma, but that was one of the prices she knew she'd have to pay for being here. "It suffices".

Emma gave Kitty a questing look. Like what Kitty had said was slightly surprising.

"What"? Was Kitty's response to the look.

"Your not the first person to use that statement although not in this context. Hmmm, tell me just what the heck happened between you and Illyana? One moment your spitting distain and hate at her, the next you're all chummy again"?

"That's private, Illyana and I just... talked. She convinced me without actually trying to convince me that she was... real. That she was... she was her".

"Anything else"?

"Since when did you care"?

"Kitty, I am her part time therapist and one time partner in the Phoenix Five. While her mind shields were just as effective, I did learn much more about the general state of her mind once we were conjoined by the Phoenix".

"Anything that you'd care to share"?

"She greatly concerned me before Phoenix, she scared the hell out of me after we were no longer Phoenix. Once I knew just how... once I actually understood her mental landscape. A landscape that I suspect is undergoing changes now".

"Yea... she doesn't feel... she feels different. Like a person is looking out of her eyes instead of a...". Kitty sought a different word then the one she was going to use.

"Predator". Emma finished.

Kitty glared at Emma. "That's not nice".

"Correct, and neither is she. And nothing that you yourself haven't been saying for months. But she appears to be... trying now. Something happened between the two of you after you came here. Things were happening with her before but they are happening faster now that you are present. I would like to know what it was assuming it is not unpleasant or some sex thing between the two of you".

Ahhh, Emma just so knew how to push Kitty's buttons and learn what she wanted without using telepathy.

"Nothing happened! She... she was moody and talking about her brother, then she just tried to hug me and I phased and she passed though me and fell down the icy sloop. I ran after her and apologized for that as I didn't expect her to try to hug me as she's so not a hugger. Then I gave her a hug and we talked for a bit as I held her".

"You hugged her? You held her"?

"Yea... no big deal".

"You"?

"Yes. Why is that a big deal"?

Emma looked at Kitty with a very thoughtful expression. "Because she hates herself. And you are one of the defining measuring rods of that hate. Possibly the biggest".

"What the heck are you talking about"?

"As I said before. I learned the mental landscape but not the memories. She was very... disturbed, less so now since whatever that beast Dormmanu did to her apparently rectified some internal separation between her and her soul. You and her brother are... key to much of her... self identity, good and bad".

Kitty just gave Emma a confused and somewhat angry look. Emma continued.

"She died, was brought back years later, and some massively bad things happened to her that she shields that like the dickens so I have no actual idea as to the details but it doesn' take a genius to guess what likely happened once I saw the mental landscape. She did bad things to our former students before she awoke to the understanding of what she'd once been and the first thing she does is kick everybody out and hide? For that was what she was really doing... hiding. Hiding from her brother... hiding from you".

"But she finally came back".

"To find you gone... we didn't tell her that you were trapped and lost in that bullet. We later concluded she must have found out and... well we think she had a nervous breakdown over it for unknown reasons. Went off in search of her blood stones and only returned to our time after years had passed for her. Years and yet never rescued you. Again it doesn't take a genius to figure out that for some reason she likely couldn't".

"She has her soul now".

"Yea she does. Didn't make any difference until Dormmanu and her future brother died in her arms".

"Yea... we... we spoke about that".

The conversation stalled for a minute before Kitty continued. Asked a question that was so bugging her.

"Was I wrong Emma? Was she... was she Yana all along"?

Emma replied as honestly as she could. "Truthfully I'd say no, especially after whatever happened to her. Your Yana killed herself".

Kitty opened her mouth to protest and Emma shushed her. "Hear me out for once. You asked and I'm trying to answer. Your Yana killed herself. Yes it was a noble sacrifice, but it was suicide. And everybody ended up with the bonus prize of a young unstained Illyana in her place whom almost everybody liked so much better".

"Who wasn't Yana". Muttered Kitty.

"No she wasn't. She was a sweet, nice child. You and Peter did well with her, but she died of that blasted legacy virus. But the young Illyana who died was never your Yana and never would be. Tell me Kitty, how did that make you feel"?

"Why should I tell you"?

"Because this conversation is as much about you as it is about Illyana. I'm not trying to be a bitch about this, I'm actually trying to facilitate understanding as that understanding is critical for both of you. Plus I have some measure of... affection for Illyana and I really want you and her to... be reconciled".

"Angry. I felt... Angry".

"How so"?

"Yana never... came back. So many people come back and Yana... never did. Never returned. She died and she stayed dead, and then young Illyana died as well. I... I kept expecting... but it never happened. Then..."

Emma finished. "Then she did comeback, but as Darkchilde, not Yana. And did so many nasty things".

"Yea... Why did she? Was she just... evil? Or..."?

Emma stirred her coffee. "Yes she was rather evil and... well she let me look at her memories in my office once, when she explained why she traveled back in time to supposedly save the X-Men; when in reality it was her plan to regain her soul. I only saw the memories she allowed me to see but I was very disturbed by the mental undercurrents. She scared me".

"How so"?

"I realized I had a predator in my office. What looked out of her eyes was not really human".

"So getting her soul back really changed her"?

"Apparently yes, but it took time and additional events. Plus Hank was right that we... didn't take the right therapy approach. That ability to block mind reading apparently makes telepaths rotten therapists. We... misinterpret the little mental leakage that we did get. The fact that she got on so well with Laura was really an obvious sign in hindsight, one that I only realized after we became Phoenix and I had access to her mental landscape".

Emma continued. "She was evil, demonic, that is what Darkchilde was after all. But what she also was was feral. One doesn't just turn feral Kitty. It takes a great deal of abuse or trauma over a prolonged amount of time. It was so clear in the mindscape, and her ability to block mind reading was a blessing as I really didn't want to find out just what that level and duration of abuse was required to reduce one such as her to that state".

"So she was crazy"?

"Bonkers".

"Didn't act crazy".

"Not quite true. Yes she was very function but she was completely detached and incapable of properly judging her actions. Something she knew by the way. Darkchilde evil behaviors apparently look very similar to Darkchilde crazy behaviors. That insight to her decision making process left me very scared of her as her decision making process was not comprehensible to rational logic. It made perfect sense to her but her ability to see things was damaged".

"So what changed"? Kitty was rather sure she knew but she wanted Emma's opinion.

"Dormmanu. She came back in a panic from the first encounter. The fact that she was in a panic was the first clue that something profound had changed. She was mentally leaking all over the place and the Cuckoos were able to take a look as her shields were down. What they saw was panic and feelings. She was feeling and was in a panic about the feelings and about her survival and her prior actions. She couldn't understand any more why she had done what she had done. It didn't make sense to her. In short her perceptions had changed. The girls and I think her soul was finally merged into her and what resulted was...".

Kitty finished. "My Yana".

"Or something very close. I suspect that the work she's been doing with a different dimension's Doctor Strange has done her a great deal of good. She wasn't your Yana before, not after... whatever happened to her. But I think she is now".

"So what do I do now? Pretend she's ok? That she didn't do the things that she did"?

"No... likely just find out who she really is. I don't' think she even knows anymore and that tends to scare a person".

Emma's eyes narrowed as she looked at Kitty. "Be carful Kitty. You are in a position of great... influence".

"Yea right".

"You hold the ability to hurt her. I think only her brother and you can actually do that and her brother is a dense as that steel body he wears".

Another hostile glare from Kitty. "What do you mean"?

"Scott and I tried numerous times to make Peter understand that she was damaged, different, harmed. That pretending that she was the same as she was before was not correct therapy. That she was rejecting it and telling him to his face but he kept refusing to listen. That he was actually hurting her by being blind to what she'd become".

"And a hug from me makes such a big difference"?

"Yea Kitty, I think it does".

"So be nice or... else"?

"No Kitty. I think there are two people she'd do anything for. Anything... How you view her is how she in part judges herself".

Kitty nibbled her lower lip. She really didn't like what she was hearing or what it might imply as to Illyana's mental condition and... how... how it might have been made worse by...

"So you're saying it's all my fault".

"No Kitty, I'm saying she... she's been... crazy and is likely still... unstable. And... acceptance may be her greatest desire and fear. To believe is a great step forward, but what we believe sets the direction of that journey. That's what I mean by holding influence. Consider what you say with at least some care. Words hurt the most when they come from those we love".

Kitty was silent for a minute, then. "Something to think about".

Emma came up with some analogies. "Think of rain in a dessert, or better yet a diamond. Dense and unbreakable. But diamonds have cleavage plains. Hit them in just the right spot and they cut in two or even shatter. Try, for once, to think about your words before you go off in one of your hot headed denouncements that you periodically indulge in".

Kitty responded with a chuckle. "Well... you should know about cleavage. And I can't help but notice that she's taking after a certain somebody on showing it".

Kitty suddenly got a wide eyed look. "Oh God, she was in your head as well. And afterwards she starts dressing like you. Please tell me that she doesn't now have a thing for Scott ".

Emma chuckled back. "Imitating one's betters is always a sign of good taste and intelligence; and no, she doesn't have a think for Scott". Emma left unsaid who, if anybody, Illyana might have a thing for.

"Good... that would be horror". Was Kitty's relieved declaration.

"Yes... yes it would". Was Emma's likewise conclusion.

Kitty stood up. "Well, things to get done before the gaggle of students return".

Kitty walked off after first putting the cup in the dishwasher, leaving Emma alone in the kitchen. Alone with her thoughts.

Emma grumbled to herself as she got another cup of coffee. "Worse idea ever sending you down to the X-Brig to have a shouting match with her".

The thought had been to shock Illyana with Kitty. Yea Illyana had been shocked all right. Likely shocked right into a complete emotional shutdown just as she was starting to recover. Emma continued to think about certain decisions, how schism might have gone or even been avoided if a certain teleporter had not been locked up.

Damn it, why did demonic crazy look just like demonic evil. Yea, Illyana had failed so many people, but at least she had the excuse of being crazy; an excuse she refused to actually use.

What was everybody else's excuse?

Chapter Text

Part 15a: Gentlemen's agreement

Erik (Magneto) and Sebastian Shaw were seated in a very plush and private small lounge hidden away on one of the upper floors of the Hellfire club. It was a rainy New York evening and rivulets of water were streaking down the room’s windows.

The two were sitting in those old style English gentlemen's club high back riveted leather chairs facing each other over a small table that held a decanter of Scotch. Shaw always felt that Scotch was the drink to seal deals with; the more important the deal, the better the Scotch. This was Dalmore Constellation 1964, very old. Very very good.

Erik was dressed as the white king. He had on a three piece suit with a white shirt and white gloves; his socks were grey and his shoes were black. Shaw was dressed in his usual formal black attire while wearing grey gloves.

“Wasn’t really sure you’d actually accept my dear fellow” mused Shaw as he took another sip of his drink.

“One does what one must in such difficult times” stated Erik as he too took another sip.

Shaw savored his drink, took a deep sniff from the glass, and then continued. “I like that you have resumed your old look. Hairlessness... does not suit you”.

Erik scowled in remembrance of... things. “I am forced to agree. And the taunts were very… infantile”.

“Yes… Baldneto was the term I believe”. Chuckled Shaw as he poured himself another two fingers worth of liquid gold. Then he switched topics.

“A competent selection for our black bishop” prompted Shaw on Erik's pick.

“Ms. Releigh is a lady of many talents. One does not need powers to exceed” agreed Erik.

“But they do… help” murmured Shaw.

Erik agreed. “Yes… I suppose they do”.

“But Monet is not really… sufficient for the role of White Queen” murmured Shaw. “She has an appropriate power set but lacks... experiences at such levels of command. Yes she’s vain, arrogant, intelligent, powerful, beautiful, decadent, self obsessed, rich but not by her own works, and so loves dressing the part but she is lacking in…”.

Erik finished. “Leadership. She’s tends to be problematic on leading or directing others other then by shouting or demeaning them”.

“And bitchy… don’t forget bitchy”. Was Shaw's less then helpful comment.

“And yet you agreed to her being the new White Queen”?

“Well… we needed somebody. She… suffices for now”. Finished Sawn. “Any additional thoughts on my suggestion as to a possible Black Queen. Or might Red be a better color for her”?

Erik eyed Shaw. This new and yet so similar Sebastian Shaw took some getting used to. The old Shaw was filled with double dealings while this Shaw... appeared... to be more... trustworthy. Not that Erik was going to trust him very much but... the man was... improved. He replied.

“She is not… appropriate. I somehow don’t think the Hellfire club's recreational… proclivities would appeal to her”.

“It is not required that she… indulge herself”. Was Shaw's observation.

“No… but you have not seen her at her worst. I have. Also she is wont to disregard orders and direction, and tends to get… annoyed if one attempts to keep secrets from her; and there are so many secrets here that are being kept from some of those we know”.

“And yet Storm has no problems managing her”.

“Because mostly she doesn’t manage her. Storm does not lie or misled her. And she is not a subordinate”.

“Shame, her assets and abilities would be a great boost to our efforts”. Was Shaw’s mild response. He took another sip.

Erik tossed in an extra tidbit of information. “And Monet does not get along with her at all. Oil and water thing; although gasoline and fire might be the better analogy”.

“It's… not completely surprising to hear that Monet has such issues as I’ve noticed the phrase (Has problems working well with others) describes Monet so well, but the choice of people is”.

“The whole she’s a demon thing I believe. Which is somewhat surprising considering Monet's… history”.

“Yes… I suppose that does cause… issues with some. Shame though, can you imagine Frances hitting on her in the main ballroom and the possible responses”?

Frances was a non inner circle club member who was known for his sexual escapades, and being total dick towards most women in general.

Erik choked as he had been sipping when the Frances comment was made and the Scotch had gone down the wrong pipe. Erik gasped and sputtered for a few moments while Shaw looked on with mild concern. "Careful old boy. Sip it, don't inhale it".

Erik finally regained his composer. “I can imagine as I have seen it once and would pay to see it again with Frances”.

He then briefly regaled Shaw with an episode he had observed in a total dive of a bar that he had once visited with Illyana while in pursuit of some information.

"This happened after I left the group as I still have occasional contact with her. We were teammates after all and we both tend to view certain problems the same way. I've done a few favors for her and she recuperates with no one the wiser. I was in pursuit of the identify of a certain gentlemen who had hired people to harm certain... mutants. This was one of those favors she did for me as her transportation abilities are very useful when you have a short time table to get something done".

"We ended up in this wretched bar with the name Sister Margret's school for wayward girls. Not sure if it was an actual converted old school or just a very sarcastic name. Complete seedy dive with the usual scum. But this establishment was a hangout for thugs and mercenaries and a bit of a job center as the establishment acted as a broker for folks to hire certain individuals. I was incognito but Illyana was in her field costume which... I suppose was... unfortunate".

...

...

Part 15b: Sister Margret's (Part 1)

It was raining outside and the bar was dark. There were scattered pool tables and the New York no smoking in restaurants and bars law as being vigorously ignored as the room was filled with a pungent smoky fog. A two scantily clad waitresses were moving about serving drinks while two beefy biker dudes were discussing, with their fists, just who had cheated at who at pool.

The smell of stale beer, urine (the toilet was backed up again), and cheep perfume assaulted Erik and Illyana's nostrils as they entered. Music was blaring loudly, which of course had the useful side affect of make sure that no listening devices would work correctly.

It was AC/CD's Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.

If you're havin' trouble with the high school head

He's givin' you the blues

You wanna graduate but not in his bed

Here's what you gotta do

Pick up the phone, I'm always home

Call me any time

Just ring 36 24 36 hey

I lead a life of crime

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)

(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)

...

...

Erik was wearing a brown trench coat and hat but Illyana was dressed in that black bit of nothing she liked wearing, plus her black boots and the armor on her left arm. However her soul Sword was not present.

Erik walked up to the bar, Illyana just stayed behind him and observed the room while Erik attempted to talk the bartender into giving up the location of a Mr. Zeederman. Erik had no real interest in Mr. Zeederman, his interest was in who had hired him. He wished to... talk to Mr. Zeederman about that... something that he did not share with the bartender.

Like all such bars, the bartender had never heard of him. Erik sighed to himself, looked like it was going to have to be the hard way. But, before he did anything, a red costumed individual (known as Deadpool, Erik knew him well) walked up behind Illyana and grabbed her ass with both hands gave it a full squeeze.

"Ohhh, daddy like! Bit lean for an waitress ass, but honey you need to lose the spiky armor, wouldn't want to poke a customer's eye out now". Was Deadpool's comment as he then walked past Illyana and went to the bar.

Illyana just stood there. A look of outraged shock on her face.

Deadpool continued to dig the hole deeper as he ordered a beer "Or are you a cosplay chickie who got lost from the convention center? I heard Adult Com was back in town".

Then Deadpool noticed Erik (Hey that's Mags!) and started to reconsider what he had just done. Black scanty costume, black spikes in her hair, armor on left arm... that would make her... Rutro (for those Scooby do fans).

The bartender commented as well before Deadpool got done putting two and two together. "You look the part so pay is $8 bucks an hour plus tips. Oh... and if you hook then the house takes a fifteen percent finder's fee".

The song finished like a fuse burning down.

...

...

Concrete shoes, cyanide, TNT

(Done dirt cheap)

Neck ties, contracts, high voltage

(Done dirt cheap)

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, do anything you want me to

Done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, dirty deeds, dirty deeds,

Done dirt cheap, ahhhhh

Things... kind of went to hell after that (I think it was the hook comment that did it).

...

...

Part 15c: Sister Margret's (Part 2)

A few minutes later.

Erik was still at the bar but now sipping from a bottle of cheap Bourbon and gazing upon the spectacle.

Half of the bar was now in ruin and most of the bottles behind the bar were broken (which was why he was sipping the cheap stuff). Two of the pool tables looked like somebody had hacked them up with a giant sword. Assorted bodies were strewn about the place (still living) and there were more then a few spent shell casing littering the floor.

The rest of the customers were cowering against the far wall (as far from Illyana as they could get) as she was near the main entrance.

Deadpool was pinned to the floor, face down, with Illyana's sword thrust through his abdomen and Illyana standing over him with horns on her head and red glowing eyes kicking him as she shouted at him. She was leaning on her sword as she kicked, which let her really put her back into it for that full bodied kick.

"DO"! kick

"NOT"! kick

"EVER"! kick

"TOUCH"! kick

"ME!" kick

"LIKE"! kick

"THAT"! kick

"AGAIN"! kick

Deadpool was busy exclaiming back after each kick

"Ow"!

"Ow"!

"Ow"!

"Not the twins! Not the twins!   Noooooooo"!

"Ow"!

"Oh the humanity of it all"! Yea, sarcastic even while getting a beating.

The Sound system was now stuck and was just endlessly repeating Dirty Deeds.... scratch... Dirty Deeds.... scratch.... Dirty Deeds... like a broken parrot.

Illyana finally stopped kicking Deadpool and snarled at the crowd.

"Any body else here want to fondle my ass"!

Which... was an unfortunate word choice as half of the group didn't know what the right answer was. Several hands hesitantly went up, along with one brunette waitresses' hand.

You could feel Illyana's growl of irritation at the response.

Erik commented before she could... express that irritation. "Magik I think it would be more appropriate to ask if anybody wants to... well...to do that without your permission".

All of the hands went down.

Erik promptly got the information he had come for and the two of them left. It goes without saying that Illyana was remembered at Sister Margret's.

"Hey, remember the time when that Darth Vader like chick with tits showed up and...".

Part 15d: Back to the hellfire club

Now it was Shaw choking has he laughed with Erik grinning at the end of the story.

Finally Shaw recovered while wiping a way a tear of mirth.

Hmmmm Shaw chucled to himself. That would be a good way to remove… certain people without any blame or suspicion falling upon him. He needed to keep that in mind. He decided to ask some follow up questions.

“She was on that team of yours back in Utopia. How did you find her to be back then”?

Erik replied. “She was locked up at the time and we did not converse much. After… things fell apart, post Phoenix, she sought me out as she felt that I could provide some overall leadership. That was when I first learned that... that she was... well I had thought to recruit her brother but he was very damaged from the whole experience. Angry, bitter, even homicidal towards his sister as they were now estranged, which I might add was completely one sided in that all the rage and hate was on his side as she.... she was... concerned for him. From that I learned that she made... interesting choices about... things. And now that she was free from her cell and bomb jacket she was more... willing to express herself".

Erik continued. "I then used her to help free Scott, and later Emma, from confinement. The four of us decided to form a new school and choose to renovate the old Weapon-X facility. She was… mostly quiet but in that I will choose to disregard you if I want to while I make some snarky comments. Oddly somewhat like Monet, but with without the… spite and more… inability I think to understand certain things. Things that I think she started to comprehend shortly before I left, after… Dormmanu. She was different after Dormmanu".

“Emma and Scott were horrified by what happened with Dormmanu, but I gathered that they were not surprised in some ways. I suppose they already knew exactly what lay at her core due to that whole Phoenix 5 union that they had. Knew and were rather… concerned about it. That was one of many issues that prompted my departure from that group”.

“Any other reasons to not... pursue her”? inquired Shaw.

Erik frowned in thought, then replied. “I have had the great misfortune of seeing her having a bad day”.

“That bad”?

“Hellacious would literally be an understatement”.

“Just what happened with this Dormmanu”?

"He... tried to take over that hell dimension she rules. In so doing her... guise was changed. All that we could see of her in that hellish fight was a thing of darkness and flame. Sometimes I wonder just how much of what we see of her is actually real. Just how… mortal or human she really is; and just how much is… makeup as it were”.

“Sounds like the description of Tolkien’s Balrog when the Fellowship was in Moria”.

Turns out Sebastian is a closeted fantasy fan. Which makes sense, I mean, just look how he dresses, total Victorian cosplay all the way.

A thoughtful look from Erik. “Rather appropriate now that you mention it. Though Lord of the Rings did not mention anyone in the Fellowship losing control of their bladders”.

“That happened”?

“Yes… a fellow, with the unfortunate code name of Gold Balls, was very distressed. To be fair this was his first real combat experience. And I must confess that I too would have possibly shared that distress but I had… unburdened myself shortly before the unfortunate event”.

“The others must have greatly razed him over that”.

“No… no they didn’t”.

“Why? Oh… do you mean to tell me that…”.

“I’ll just say that more than a few people were… distressed by finding themselves literally in hell and leave it at that”.

Shaw had a contemplative look as the conversation briefly fell silent. Now it was Erik's turn to refill his glass.

Shaw then returned to the topic of Monet.

“I do ask that you to speak to Monet about this whole I’m great and you suck attitude that she loves projecting. Apprehension is… not a bad thing from subordinates that you wish to keep in their place but behaving so… well… forgive me but she tends to be quite the bitch and does it repeatedly with people she shouldn’t”.

Erik sighed. “That is Monet, subtle is not her strong point. But I continue to remind her that maturity is... multi facetted”.

Shaw continued to make his point. “People do not tend to have any loyalty to those who only sneer at them. Important point for both subordinates and peers. Something that the born rich tend to not learn. I am rather surprised that so many of her former teammates actually have positive feelings towards her based upon her displayed attitudes and behaviors”.

“She is not always… difficult”.

“Bitch with a heart of gold”?

“No… but she does tend to fight harder for her teammates then her words would imply. Deeds do tend to help on forming team spirit”.

“And breaking it as well”.

"Well said" was Erik's comment.

"I just wish we had some... leverage to influence Magik" was Shaw's comment as her returned to the topic of Magik (he really did think that she would make a great Queen).

Need to nip that in the bud thought Erik. “Tell me Sebastian, how do you manipulate or influence people”?

“I find out what they value. What motivates them. What they hold dear. Learn who they are and you learn what can influence them. What form of coin they value and what their price is”.

“And if there is nothing”?

“There is always something”.

“True… but what if that something is beyond precious”?

“Then you have your leverage if you need it”.

“Do you”?

“What are you getting at Erik”?

“That which she holds truly dear is likely death to anybody who tries to use it against her”.

“Hmmm, I… think I get your point. So absent that leverage point…”?

“I… we… have nothing she wants. Unless those whom she cares for were to join us. Then… then there would be leverage but applied not by us but by…”.

“Her brother or Ms. Pryde”.

“Exactly… who are not very welcoming of what you, and this club, stand for and if Illyana felt that undue influence had been done to them then she would likely behave…”.

Again Shaw finished. “Exactly as the worse case scenario you just described. I… agree. It must be her own idea, or those whom she cares for must decide upon the path with no... influence from us. To do otherwise would be… unwise. Hmm... her former companions from her school days might be… candidates. After all da Costa was once even the Lord Cardinal of the club. But... I think he's lapsed on his dues... I'll have a reminder sent”.

“Yes… some of them, but I think she was closest to Dana”.

Shaw fished the topic. “I can understand her attachment to her brother, but when a friend is that important then my experience has been that the person wishes to be more than a friend. Well, something to think about. If her brother and her friend are so important to her, imagine if she had a child or one whom she thought of as her child”.

Erik had a musing expression. “Extreme momma bear syndrome. Very good idea to never explore that topic if it were to happen. I think... I think it would be even worse the Dormmanu".

“Yes… momma bears due tend to be… very unreasonable about certain things”.

Chapter Text

Yet... why doesn't she just take all of the Inhuman off to Limbo? I have to admit I dislike the Inhumans due to boring storylines, unlikable characters, and general dislike of Editorial writing that tries to force something to be popular (i.e. the character Hope in the X-Men series had massive editorial pushing on multiple storylines and yet was never really popular with the fans).

Plus I tend to agree with one poster (MarvelMaster616) who refuses to use the term Inhumans and instead uses Racist Xenophobic Slave-Owners every single time in his/hers posts about Inhumans. Inhuman history is not very nice and has been reformated several times as a result (Plus I think the royal family sucks, viva la revolution!).

The reason Illyana doesn't just "solve" the problem is then there is no story, the bane of any truly powerful individual. As I've said before, Bambi vs. Godzilla is a very short film.

But as always I like things to be complete and actually believable. This is a chapter I've been playing with for some time as this is a reoccurring issue and needs to be addressed, or so I think. Not sure where this story will fit in the official timelines once things are all done, depends on when young Jean Grey leaves to go to college, but I think it will still stay relevant.

Part 16a: Why

Jean Grey was off to college. She'd had enough.

Enough of being an X-Men.

Enough of Hank being her boyfriend (like kissing he brother, yuck).

Enough of being around Scott (oh mister moody).

Enough of not having a normal life.

Enough of not taking control of her life.

To have different outcomes one must take different paths, which was a bit of advice from Illyana.

She was all packed and ready to leave, but she had one final question for Illyana. A very private question.

"Why"?

"Why do you let things happen"?

"It's like... like Laura using her fingernails instead of her claws. You can change things... stop things... Do things... But you don't. You only sometimes act and almost always in conjunction with others and those others then almost always take the lead".

"And why... why doesn't anybody ask you to ever fix it"?

"Why? Can you please just tell me why"?

Part 16b: Questions

"You won't like the answers". Had been Illyana's reply. She was busy eating her bagel with cream cheese while sipping some green gunpowder tea.

The two of them were sitting outside at the Hawaiian coffee shack that Emma so loved the coffee from. Jean was leaving and had wanted some answer to quandaries that had been bothering her about Illyana.

Quandaries that nobody else appeared to have and in fact Jean had never asked anybody else about. Every time she resolved to ask others about it she just seemed to... get sidetracked. Like... like it was... something that she wasn't supposed to notice.

"Why"? Had been Jean's response as she slipped her Pumpkin spice latte.

"Because... it might apply to you someday"? Has been Illyana reply.

"Because of Phoenix"?

"Yep".

"Have you been... interfering with my resolve to ask others why they don't... ask these same questions"?

"No. That would be the editorial board I suppose".

"Huu"?

"Sorry, inside joke. I'll answer but... you'll likely just forget and then... likely never think about it again".

"Why"? Jean was beginning to feel like a five year old with the endless whys.

"You're not the first".

"Oh... ummm... who else has asked"?

"Kitty several times. Heck even knew once but she's forgotten it again as the cosmic power... faded. Scott also, older Scott that is, but he promptly forgot. Magneto I think knows about asking but figured part of the answers out so he doesn't bother to ask. Dr. Strange knows when he bothers to really think about it which is almost... never".

"Do I have to go into your mind again"?

"Do you want to"?

"No... really no".

"That makes two of us".

Jean waited and Illyana took another bite of bagel and just chewed. Finally Jean broke the silence.

"Well"?

"Just checking to see if you still remembered the question. Sometimes folks don't. It's... It's like this...".

Part 16c: Answers

One. As you know I've made... mistakes. Some really bad ones. Life altering mistakes, and by life altering I mean the effects upon people I really care about. That make me far more... hesitant about certain things, about certain decisions.

Two. I like being...real. Human. A person. I do not wish to be the magic genie. To be as such I must be... less then I am. For to be as I am... well... That brings us to...

Three. Hell lords don't get to alter things very much outside of their realm. That includes bringing people into their realm. Otherwise just look at what Hela of Hel, Mephisto or a dozen or so other hell lords I could name, could and would do. Rules... rules bound us on our interactions with... reality. I am more mortal then most in that regards so I get more... flexibility on some things. I can participate but not fully... initiate. That's what I mean by the editorial board. The rules... rule.

Four. Part demon remember. I'm not human turned demon I'm demon turned human. Very very rare, possibly a first. This leaves me again bound by certain rules.

Five. I... stopped doing that. I wish to live. For that to be I need to live with the uncertainties of life. If I were ever able to escape what I was created... made into then I might be able to... be different. Until then... well...

Six. Phoenix. I... was. Then I was not. If you ever are again then... then you will like do as I do and attempt to cling to the parts of you that are still mortal. To... be... to pretend... to... to try not to rule but to instead... live.

Seven. Sometimes... I... I... I really miss my brother from the future. I... If I start doing that again then where do I draw the line? How can I possibly be anything other then... the ruler? No... I doesn't get to... I can't because...

Eight... Do you even know what I'm talking about anymore Jean?

Part 16d: Jean

"Huu? Sorry I spaced out there for a second. What were we talking about"?

"Injustices and limitations". Illyana replied with a trace of sadness.

Chapter Text

Looking forward to the Inhuman vs. Mutant war (Death to Inhuman scum! Oh, I mean death to the Racist Xenophobic Slave-Owners and the Royal family as well). Yea I’ve picked my side (grin).

Figure this chapter is a bit of foreshadowing before the issues come out. Let’s see how well I do.

Part 17a: Plots and discussions

Rule number one for plotters, make sure you can’t be overheard.

So… having such discussions in another dimension makes a great deal of sense. Assuming of course you have access to another dimension. Here’s a hint… it helps if one of your plotters just happens to be a hell lord who rules one such dimension, and who can take additional precautions against those who might want to eavesdrop.

Limbo…

An old throne room, where once the ruler of Limbo had ruled from. In some aspects the center of Limbo and its power. Three people sit and converse around a table, with a forth chair standing empty.

“And yet you still do nothing”! Was Emma angry declaration.

“Consensus Emma, she desires consensus before she will act. Before I suspect she can act in this” states Erik, the master of magnetism.

“Erik is partially correct”. Replied Illyana. “I told you both of my requirements in this”.

“Yes yes, the fourth seat must be filled…”. Replied Emma with some heat and angry body posturing. “And I point out that she continues to avoid seeing reason in this”.

Illyana replied back. “That is your take Emma. Ororo would state it differently, she still hopes for a peaceful solution. I gave my word to her in this that I will follow her lead, unless the InHumans attack”.

“And yet you aid us in preparing, positioning, setting things in place”. Observed Erik.

“Selectively and with full deniability. You may have tricked most people Emma about Scott… I did not remain tricked”. Answered Illyana.

Emma replied in a bitter tone of voice. “Not sure if you were ever tricked Illyana dear. Sometimes I wonder just who misleads who. How… fortunate that you have not yet lost anything you hold truly dear either to the mists or to actions caused by the mists. One does wonder just what that would do… might you lose that iron self control of yours? Or would the rules that you say govern you have some… loopholes? How is Dani by the way? Still waking you up when she has one of her panic attacks? Or is it the other way around when you have one of your bad dreams? I find it so sweet that the two of you have gotten over your prior differences”.

“Don’t poke at her Emma”. Erik injected. “I’m sure Magik will do the right thing”.

“I dislike the Inhuman almost as much as either of you. I… I know what they cost you Emma and what they have cost our kind. A cost they do not hold themselves accountable for. A price that they make excuses about”.

“No you don’t! If something you love and treasure is taken then you will know the cost Magik, not before”. Emma replied as she stood to leave. “I hope you never know that cost”.

Emma nodded and then she was gone in a flicker of a teleportation disk.

Erik stood to leave as well. “Please forgive Emma, she is still… distraught and I suspect not… rational in this matter. I understand your… hesitancy”.

Illyana waved off Emma’s behavior. “Nothing to forgive. She is angry and wants both revenge and justice. I… understand that all to well. I do have concerns over the price she is willing to pay, the cost to herself”.

Erik asked a question that had been on his mind for some time. “When did you realize that Scott was already dead”?

“I realized it as that damn cloud was being transformed, destroyed, that it was all Emma. That Scott was already… gone. And I never even had a chance to say goodbye. We… we had our differences but… him I respected and… when we were Phoenix… well to be Phoenix is to close”.

Erik made his farewells. “I somehow doubt you will be hesitant if the moment comes”.

And with a flicker of a disk he was gone.

“No…I don’t think I will”. Was her statement to the empty throne room.

And then she was gone as well.

Part 17b: New Attilan throne room

Medusa sat upon the throne and held council with some of her advisors. In some ways it was a war council, but mostly it was a planning council. A brief discussion and listing of whom were the most dangerous of the mutants was in discussion.

Her red hair was flickering about and the massive bulldog like creature, Lockjaw, was lying down next to her throne. Lockjaw was the InHuman’s teleporting canine. Over five feet tall at the shoulder and almost four hundred pounds.

“Magneto must be the top of the list. His ability to manipulate metals and magnetic fields is complex and strong. This also provides him an instinctual grasp of many technologies coupled with a strong engineering centric intellect. His… hatred of us is of course well known”. Spoke one of the advisors.

“Storm is equally a threat due to her vast weather controlling powers”. Spoke another advisor. “But she has remained the voice of reason in the mutant community. And yet… she gathers ever more mutants to her at this unknown X-Haven of hers. Supposedly to help them with their medical…. issues, but an alternative interpretation is she is gathering an army”.

“As we do as well with those newly transformed”. Replied Medusa. “Never forget to view our own actions from their viewpoint”.

“Many of the new InHumans have been… unwilling to join our ranks my Queen. They are… contaminated with foreign ideas of self determination and… democracy. Some have even gone so far as to agitate for elections as to who should govern us. Many such prefer to call themselves NuHumans instead of InHumans. And many that do join us have issues with how our society functions and their assigned place in it”.

“And other mutants of note”? Asked the queen. More for general discussion rather then any new information.

“The one named Alexander Summers, called Havok, is of great concern as he continues to be missing. Brother to the one who destroyed one of the sacred clouds. Powerful but of limited intellect and planning abilities”.

“Iceman, continued to be associated with Ororo. Dangerous but some InHumans have similar power sets and should be able to neutralize him”.

“Forge is of great concern due to his ability to replicate and likely circumvent our technology”.

“There are others and some are of much concern; telepaths and fighters. And some non mutants who have allied themselves with the mutants over us”.

“Beast continues to be assisted and watched. So far he has not shown any knowledge as to either location of the various mutant bases or their plans. And he has not tried to evade his watchers or go where he is forbidden; but it must be assumed that he is a spy so we continue to feed him selective disinformation about Attilan and InHumans in general; and of course monitor all communications”.

“And the countermeasures for the witch”? Asked Medusa.

‘In work. She is… problematic my Queen. Very problematic”.

“Any success as to the actual location of X-Haven”? Inquired the Queen.

“It must be in an alternate dimension is the general consensus based upon readings of their appearances and departures that we have observed. Although some still maintain that it may be located in Antarctica either above or below ground”. Spoke one of the commanders.

“They are likely be going to that place called Limbo, but it may just be a waypoint instead of the final location”. Mentioned another advisor.

“Lockjaw has still not been able to discern the actual location my queen”? Spoke yet another.

“No… his ability to scent and trace across dimensional space has lead him to Limbo but… he can proceed no further”.

Medusa looks down at the relaxed Lockjaw who looks up at her with a doggy pant, then gave himself a lick. ”The witch bars his way”.

DOGIE INTERLUDE

The location of X-Haven was of great interest to the InHumans. Always a good idea to know where your enemy is located. To be polite, call them possible enemies, but… the truce was very fragile.

The superior Attilan science had of course detected the dimensional energies of the teleportations both from the witch Illyana and the teleportation bands that some of mutants had. But another dimension is a rather big place so a more precise location was needed.

Lockjaw had been sent by Medusa once to try to locate where the teleportations were originating from. Now Lockjaw is a dog. A very intelligent dog, but still ultimately a dog, so simple instructions only. This was mostly a variation of seek. For this brief mission he had some recording gear attached to his collar.

Lockjaw had sniffed around one of the known sites and then had opened a dimensional doorway to Limbo where he found himself on a barren rocky landscape under an orange sky confronted by a mass of demons led by her, Illyana, in her human guise wearing her black costume and holding her soul sword.

“Bad doggie” had been her slightly humorous statement. “This is not your yard so go make doggie messes somewhere else. And here, take this back to your owner”.

Illyana handed an envelope to Lockjaw who gripped it in his mouth. He looked at the assembled horde of demons and then he departed back to New Attilan.

END DOGGIE INTERLUDE

The note has been short and specific.

Queen Medusa, I have left your home and realm alone but you have chosen not to extended me the same courtesy. I do not know if this was a first time or a continuing intrusion but remember this little indiscretion in case one or more mutants improperly intrudes upon your space. One hopes if such events occur that you will find ways to accommodate such incidents without restoring to violence, as I have.

I will not share this unfortunate misunderstanding with Ororo, assuming of course that they cease.

If there is a next time then I shall keep the dog and yes… I am capable of doing that, one way or another.

No signature, just the initials I. R.

“Have you been able to get any additional information off the recording gear Lockjaw had on”?

“No my Queen, just that annoying sound of…”. The councilor fell silent.

“The humans call it a raspberry. An approximation of the sound of passing gastric gas in a noisy manner”. Clarified Medusa while hiding a grin. Councilor Cliffnor was always so straight laced.

“It is improper and… rude”.

“So are many forms of human humor. I believe there are entire genres of humor based upon bodily functions”.

“Degenerates”. Was the general consensus.

Oh if you think bulldog farts are bad you so don’t want to be around Lockjaw when he cuts loose (you could almost call it a super power).

Part 17c: Dani Interlude

A tall mesa butte overlooking a desert landscape under a blue Utah sky. Slow moving scattered clouds placed parts of the view in shadow. A large picnic blanket and basket are close by the edge of the butte. Also on the blanket was Illyana’s iPod connected to a pair of battery speakers.

A teleportation disk flickers into existence and then departs, leaving Illyana and Dani. Illyana is dressed in her usual black scanty getup and Dani is in her Valerie gear.

Dani looks around and comments. “Illyana, this does not look like the usual Limbo Mesa we train at, or the entrance to the danger room”.

Illyana gestures with her hands a few times and only some minor sparks emerged from her finger tips. “Curses… my abilities have been blocked! I fear we are trapped here”.

“Yea… nice try Yana. And no I’m not in the market to buy a bridge today”. Was Dani’s humorous and rather sarcastic comment.

“You needed a break”. Illyana stated as she started walking over to the picnic blanket. “We can do weapons practice after lunch”.

“Where you fall before my martial prowess yet again”. Was Dani’s smug reply.

Illyana reached the blanket and sat down. “Oh… over confidence is going to your head so my plans are working, soon you will kneel before me. Remember that time where Logan had us fight, you with a spear and me with the knife? I do recall a certain chief falling hard on her ass multiple times”.

Dani resigned herself to lunch as she joined Illyana on the blanket. The picnic basket was between them and Illyana opened it while Dani commented upon that old training event.

“That was then, this is now. I’m better then you at knife and spear, and the bow”.

“Yea yea” Illyana waved off Dani’s claims. “Lots more practice them me, and you were always better with the bow. I can still beat you almost half the time with the sword”.

“When you have a real sword and not the silly surfboard thing you call a sword. How on earth do you mange to swing it about? You sister, have played way too many Final Fantasy video games”.

Illyana again dismissed Dani’s statement with a humorous sniff as she examined the picnic basket’s contents.

“Had to do something while I was locked in that cell. Let’s see what’s for lunch. Some salami sandwiches from that place you like at the San Francisco terminal building, goat cheese from Cow Girl Creamery, some fresh bread and chocolate croissants from that bakery next to the Cow Girl Creamery, some IPAs that you like, Stone Brewery Rumination (double IPA) and Arrogant Bastard Ale. Rather yuck on IPAs myself, can’t believe you like that stuff, so I also brought some Blue Moon beers for me. Oh, and triple vanilla bean gelato for dessert”.

Dani gave Illyana a vexed look. “You are an evil woman Illyana”.

Illyana grinned. “So glad you finally noticed”.

“You will pay for this”. Was Dani’s mock dark statement.

“Promises promises”.

Dani continued with the mock word play. “I shall have my vengeance. You will tremble before me witch”.

Illyana smiled. “I certainly hope so, but first lunch, then you can bend me to your will”.

They eat and drank and Illyana hit play on the iPod which softly played We Are Young by the band Fun.

Give me a second I,

I need to get my story straight

My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State

My lover she’s waiting for me just across the bar

My seat’s been taken by some sunglasses asking 'bout a scar, and

I know I gave it to you months ago

I know you’re trying to forget

But between the drinks and subtle things

The holes in my apologies, you know

I’m trying hard to take it back

So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down

I’ll carry you home

Tonight

We are young

So let’s set the world on fire

We can burn brighter than the sun

…

…

The moon is on my side (Nananananana)

I have no reason to run (Nananananana)

So will someone come and carry me home tonight (Nananananana)

The angels never arrived (Nananananana)

But I can hear the choir (Nananananana)

So will someone come and carry me home (Nananananana)

…

…

Tonight

We are young

So let’s set the world on fire

We can burn brighter than the sun

So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down

I’ll carry you home tonight

...

...

Later, after the meal and some idle talk and relaxation, they engaged in some “strenuous” physical activity.

What kind you ask? Well, I’ll let Marvel decide that over the coming months.

Chapter Text

Part 18a: Darkness…

Two days after the death of Sapna at the hands and sword of Illyana…

A remote part of Limbo, one that everything has now fled from as Illyana was having a fit. A kind of breakdown one supposes. An acting out of inner rage and grief. Vast in its scale and lethal in its implications.

She was destroying everything in the locality and she was in her Darkchilde guise.

A song had triggered it. But that’s kind of like saying a moth landing on a container of nitroglycerin sets it off. The detonation was waiting, all it needed was a little tiny jolt. That’s why she was out here. She knew she was going to lose it and just needed to be away from… everybody.

She’d hit special play on her iPod and the song Hurt by Nine Inch Nails and sung by Johnny Cash has played. The vicinity was burning before the song was done with the first Chorus (utube it if you want, easy to see why Illyana would go nuts).

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar sting

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

[Chorus:]

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away

In the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns

Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear

You are someone else

I am still right here

[Chorus:]

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away

In the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

No trans dimensional beings intruded as a queen of Hell, a Hell Lord in a mindless rage, is a very dangerous thing. And rage is so easily transferable to other… targets.

After a long eternity spent destroying everything, Illyana paused in her rage, her fury, her weeping.

Paused and remember a good moment that had taken place a few weeks ago, before the whole journey to the future by the others and her later departure that had allowed…

Allowed…

Resulted in Sapna leaving and then… dying upon Illyana’s blade as Illyana had to decide yet again that a loved one had to die by her hand.

Part 18b: Friendships forged

“He’s kind of scary looking”. Had been Sapna’s honest statement to Illyana upon seeing Kurt at the outdoor German cafe. She was out of earshot of Kurt (or so she thought) as Illyana had ported them to a German town, first for a bit of shopping and then to meet up with Kurt (Illyana had placed a disguise spell upon Sapna and upon Kurt at his request, but all three of them could see each other as they were).

Kurt was sitting at an outdoor table having some very excellent strudel and German coffee (it’s always better in Germany was Kurt’s basic belief).

Illyana gently chided. “So are you to some, and so am I at times. Looks are often deceiving Sapna. Kurt can be fierce, but he is a kind and gentle soul, much like you”.

“And you Illyana”?

“No Sapna, I am rarely described as kind”.

“Then their wrong”.

Illyana changed the subject. “Come along… have you ever had strudel”?

Sapna hadn’t and she had found that she loved it, accented with a nice scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and hot chocolate to drink.

The conversation with Kurt had been nice and he had gone out of his way to put Sapna at ease.

“He’s funny”. Was her conclusion as they left Kurt to enjoy a few Pilsners. “I like him”.

Behind them Kurt smiled. Always nice to be seen as he was rather then as strangers feared him to be. Out of the mouth of children and all that he thought.

Part 18c: Consequences…

The trip had been nice… pleasant…

The thing about Hell Lords is that they are so often constrained by the rules, and Illyana had additional self constraints as she distrusted her own judgment about some things.

The thing about self restrain… well that whole self thing...

Illyana didn’t have much of that left… as some folks were to soon learn.

Some InHuman folks.

Chapter Text

Rather interesting reading the various fan arguments about this comic. The analogy I like is that you have a beloved dog that is mauling and killing kids in the neighborhood. What do you do when you discover this? Do you put down the dog?

Well… If you’re the Inhumans you try to prevent people from encountering your dog while you continue to let it roam about, and you pay for some of the medical care for some the people that are injured by it. Why… you even contribute to the funeral expenses for some of those it kills. Oh, and you kill anybody who tries to stop your dog from doing what ever the hell it pleases. Rather informs everybody as to their value and just what you value.

Oh... by the way, if you’re Illyana… you kill Sapna because the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. And the needs here was not Sapna, it was Illyana. Illyana likely has done something that is driving her insane with self loathing. She gave up what she valued the most for others. Can the Inhumans say the same?

Regardless of how Marvel tries to salvage the Inhumans, most readers can see right though to that fundamental concept. Inhumans did nothing to actually stop or destroy the cloud. Which is bad bad writing by Marvel as the Inhumans just so don’t have a moral leg to stand upon regardless of the Editorial efforts to salvage them.

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike -Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Part 19: Limbo…

The last of the Inhuman Royal family was now imprisoned in Magik’s little demon guarded rock outcropping. She helpfully shouted out the remainder of her instructions.

“… Cross the line and the demons will attack to kill… and this is Limbo so the supply of demons is rather… unlimited. Sit tight and just wait it out”.

Medusa was besides herself with both fury and rage. “We were trying to help mutants”!

Illyana was not buying what Medusa was sniffing, she coldly replied. “Really? So who created the two clouds of toxic gas that sicken and/or kill just mutants”?

“We didn’t know! That was not the intent! Without the clouds Inhumans cannot unlock their powers via Teregenisis”!

“Gosh, I wonder what fiend destroyed your sacred crystals… Oh wait that was your guy, Blackbolt I think is his name… you know… your King at the time. But of course I’m sure once you learned that you little gas clouds were killing Mutants you worked to destroy the clouds… Oh wait that’s a no again. But of course you didn’t interfere with anybody trying to simply remove the clouds before they killed yet more mutants… oh that’s yet another no”.

“They are sacred to us”!

“To you. Tell me Medusa, what did you do when the first cloud was destroyed”?

“We brokered a peace with Storm! So no more people need die”!

“Funny, I don’t recall any Inhumans dying, just… Mutants, just… Scott. Just… those people who were in the way by happenstance. Just… us. Not you. And… mutants kept dying”.

Medusa calmed herself down a bit. “Summers had to die. He had to pay for his crimes against the Inhumans. Once we learned of the harm we attempted to evacuate mutants in harms way”.

Which prompted a shout of rage from Illyana. “HE DID NO CRIMES YOU UNFEELING SELF CENTERED INHUMAN BITCH”!

Medusa shouted back. “HE DESTROYE A CLOUD”!

Illyana scowled and fought to control her sudden hot rage, she was slipping again. She could feel herself getting more and more enraged about even the slightest provocations.

Illyana went from hot rage to cold again. She gave a brief slow clap as she replied. “And you did such a good job that only thousands upon thousands sickened and died while you helped… some… avoid it. While you helped… some… recover. While you protected that evil cloud from anybody who might destroy it because it was sacred”.

“We did not set out to harm you”.

“And once the harm was shown… did you join forces with us to destroy this out of control mutant killing cloud”?

Just silence from Medusa.

Illyana continued, her left hand now clenched so hard that her nails were drawing blood. “So what you’re saying is that however regrettable the price that others must pay, it is worth it so that Inhumans can have optional access to Teregenisis. And without it you… are till just you”.

“I would not put it that way. We sought a peacefully solution”.

“All the mutant deaths, diseases, the life altering paths that this cloud of death has caused, you won’t stop it if it means destroying the cloud. And you will prevent us from destroying it”.

“We take no delight in the harm. You… could leave this planet”.

“Thanks for at least meeting us half way… But wait? That isn’t half way, that isn’t any effort at all”.

“I must protect our future, the future for our children! I will not let you steal it”!

Illyana’s eyes blazed and she partially shifted to her Darkchilde aspect. “Thanks to you, Sapna has none! And neither do so many. Her fate was set the moment that blasted cloud sickened her. A fate the resulted in…”. Illyana paused as she didn’t want to… talk about that.

Crystal injected a comment with her usual skillful completely one sided understanding of the situation. “You’ll pay for this”!

Illyana suddenly look… broken. “Already did… already am. Please… try to escape. I’d enjoy the results”. Illyana turned to leave.

“We will find I way”. Was Medusa’s resolute statement to Illyana’s back.

Illyana turned her head and replied. “I’m sure you will… this… plan is obviously flawed”.

In what way”? Asked Johnny Storm, ex Fantastic Four member and current lover of Medusa.

Illyana stated the obvious. “You’re all still alive”.

Chapter Text

Part 20a: The great escape

The Inhuman prisoners in Limbo were now free. Blackbolt had led a strike into Limbo with the aid of Lockjaw (the Inhuman’s teleporting giant bulldog). Along with him were several Nuhumans.

Black Bolt – Inhuman, Male. Black Bolt's signature power is his voice, as his electron-harnessing ability is linked to the speech center of his brain. Speaking triggers a massive disturbance in the form of a highly destructive shockwave capable of leveling a city. Superhuman physical attributes include flight, destructive hypersonic voice, particle manipulation, and limited telepathy. Black Bolt is also capable of channeling all available energy into one devastating punch called his Master Blow, which subsequently renders him extremely vulnerable. Black Bolt can create a nearly impenetrable force field by focusing his energy around himself, and can use his electron abilities as extrasensory probes, highly sensitive to electromagnetic phenomena, and he can also jam certain electromagnetic mechanisms. He can also use this limited telepathy to communicate his destination wishes to the royal family's teleporting dog, Lockjaw and with his currently ex wife Medusa.

Inferno - Male, named Dante Purtuz. His main powers are fire manipulation, fiery form, and a regenerative healing factor.

Ms. Marvel – Female, named Kamala Khan. Her power set was shape shifting and a healing factor. She was also a part time Avenger. One must wonder about any conversations that she and Rogue had involving Inhumans and toxic clouds of mutant killing gas; bet there’s lots of tension over that in the lunch room.

Moon Girl (Lunella Layfayette) and Devil Dinosaur (also known as Devil D or just Devil for short) – Both female. Lunella is smartest person on Earth (supposedly). Her Nuhuman power is the ability to switch minds with Devil Dinosaur. She was quite opposed to the whole Inhuman toxic cloud thing as she was scared as to how it might affect her once she determined she had Inhuman DNA. Supposedly good friends with the mutant Forge. She had been trying to come up with a method to destroy the cloud before she underwent involuntary Terringenesis (she was relived to find her physical form unaltered).

Iso – Female named Xiaoyi. Pressure manipulation powers.

Quake – Female, goes by Daisy Johnson. Former Shield director. Power set included earthquake generation, immunity to the harmful effects of the vibrations, psychic shielding. She also possesses superb hand-to-hand combatant, skilled all-around athlete, and an excellent marksman.

Grid – Male, named Dinesh Deol. Able the electromagnetic spectrum as well as using magnetokinesis (think weak Magneto I suppose).

Formally imprisoned by both magical and technical means were:

Medusa – Queen of the Inhumans. Power set involves hair. She has prehensile hair that is variable in length, very strong, and can move like limbs. Superhuman strength, speed, stamina, durability, agility, and reflexes (common among the Inhumans). Her hair gives her a very dangerous short-range offense ability. She is also an accomplished thief.

Gorgon – Male. He has increased strength while his feet are hooves, capable of generating highly destructive seismic waves.

Crystal – Sister to Medusa. Her’s is the power of air and wind manipulation, earth and metal manipulation, fire and heat manipulation, water and moisture manipulation, electricity manipulation, ice and cold manipulation, weather manipulation, and flight. For one who could manipulate so many things, she tended to be a novice at politics. One must wonder at her thoughts about her sister banging Johnny Storm, her ex boyfriend, sounds so… daytime TV’ish. Next on the John Williams show, Inhumans who bang their siblings ex boyfriends and how they justify it.

Flint – Male, power of Geokinesis; can use the earth underneath him to fly, assume a rocky form, rupture the ground, and form constructs out of dirt and soil.

Frank Mcgee – Male who can create blinding light. His eyes are completely yellow. Before Terringenesis, he was a New York police officer, but his wife became afraid of him after the change, so he moved to New Attilan, where he became the head of city security.

Naja – Female. Has green leopard skin, a long tail, and wings on her arms that give her the ability to fly. Naja also possesses invisibility and telescopic vision.

Johnny Storm – Human Torch and former member of the Fantastic Four. Current lover of Medusa; which continues to show that Johnny thinks with his little head and not the head containing his brain. Of all the husbands to cuckold, Blackbolt is almost at the top of the list of bad ideas.

How had they escaped their confinement? Said containment being a force field sphere attached to a slender stone projection that reached into the sky while surrounded by flying demons while magic was used to prevent any attempts at contact or dimensional transfers?

Kamala had gathered together a team of Nuhumans and they’d freed the imprisoned Blackbolt and rescued the missing Lockjaw after first determining where Medusa was being held. Afterwards Blackbolt had destroyed the facility that had imprisoned him and he’d directed Lockjaw to take them to Limbo.

Blackbolt had destroyed the defending demons and then worked with Grid to assault the technical containments from the outside and Crystal had assaulted from the inside, along with Flint who helped lower the stone platform. Once Johnny was freed he’d flown around zapping demons as well. The others with Blackbolt had assumed a defense parameter to fend off the few remaining demons.

“Ok, so… if this is hell then where is the devil”? Asked Iso after the fight was over and everybody was busy congratulating themselves. She wasn’t expecting an answer, but she got one.

Suddenly a blond woman appeared off to one side of the group and spoke to them. “That would be me. Like I didn’t have alarms for such events. Ok, everybody back in the cell before…”.

Illyana never got to finish. Blackbolt gestured and focused his powers upon Illyana as he spoke but one word, spoke rather loudly.

“DIE…”!

It was just like what happened to Scott Summers. A howling tsunami of force stripped the flesh from Illyana’s bones as she was turned into a red mist and scattered over the landscape. It was like… Illyana had been a red spay paint can and was now spread out all over the ground as if by some giant vandalizing teenager.

Most of the Nuhumans were shocked at both the suddenness and the lethality of Blackbolt’s actions. Johnny was once again reminded of just who’s wife he was banging and that said wife’s husband didn’t look fondly upon him.

“No one who imprisons the Royal family is permitted to live”. Spoke Medusa with a tone of finality and hatred. “Judgment has been rendered. In this and for all Mutants who dare threaten Inhuman culture and our sacred rituals”.

A statement was not quite in agreement with the Nuhumans, or to be honest even Johnny.

“You just killed her”! Shouted a stunned Iso. “You didn’t even give her a chance to surrender”!

Meanwhile, Moon Girl was suddenly wondering why the heck she had taken the side of the Inhumans. Yea, Kamala (Ms. Marvel) had called her for help but… she so didn’t identify with the Inhumans, their attitudes, or the so called royal family.

Medusa dismissed Iso’s protest with a flick of her hair. “She was too powerful. Blackbolt had to strike without hesitation before the ruler of this hell called Limbo could act. Those are the consequences for acting thusly against Inhumans and she has paid the price, just as Summers paid. As will all who mean us such harm”.

Johnny rather surprised himself as he raised a protest. “Ummm… I know the X-Men are in the wrong about this… but they didn’t kill any of us when they destroyed that Inhuman battleship you had protecting the cloud, or when they took down New Attilan. Actually… they kind of went out of their way to take prisoners. That… What you just did isn’t… kosher”.

Blackbolt just gave Johnny a look of complete dismissal as Medusa replied. “Mutants or Inhumans, I choose Inhumans. We can discuss this after the war is over and the Mutants lay defeated. The sum of all mutants are not worth the future of even one Inhuman child denied the chance for Terrigenesis”.

Moon girl butted in and rebuked both Medusa and Blackbolt. “Funny, I don’t recall any Nuhumans being given that choice, just… Inhumans get to decide if they wish to undergo the risks of Terrigenesis. You decided for the rest of us when you created that those damn clouds”.

“Watch your mouth child”!   Shouted Gorgon. “She is your queen and you owe her your loyalty and your service”!

Moon Girl was not in the mood to be bullied. “I most certainly do not. This… my helping you was a mistake. An emotional response to the request from a friend. I don’t do group identification or group think. Just because I have Inhuman DNA does not mean I have any obligation to support your policies or politics. That equates to declaring that I’m black so I must support all policies of Black Lives Matter or I’m female so I must support a female politician solely because of her gender”.

“Be quiet child if you wish to leave this place with us”. Coldly spoke Medusa to the shock of all the Nuhumans.

“And now come the threats…”. Answered Moon girl as she made a decision. “Me and Devil D are out”. She climbed on the back of Devil Dinosaur who turned and began to pick up speed as she trotted away.

“Don’t be stupid Lunella”! Shouted Kamala. “You can’t possible survive here”!

Medusa was done, and so much for gratitude. “As you will, Lockjaw, take all but the girl and the lizard from this place. Return us to Earth so we may finish dealing with these mutants”. Hmm…. Storm and Magneto needed to die as well… plus Emma Frost. Definitely Emma Frost.

Fido (I mean Lockjaw) focused and little lightning bolts sparked from his forehead and… nothing happened. Medusa and Blackbolt exchanged looks of sudden concern. They had gone nowhere. Limbo was in lockdown.

Moon Girl yelled a rhetorical question over her shoulder as Devil D quickly strode away… well… for some it was rhetorical, others were likely were still in the dark as to the implications of being unable to leave. An issue that Moon Girl had already concluded was going to be the mostly likely outcome. And Moon Girl was still quite convinced that the concept of royalty was a quite outdated as both a form of social organization and decision reaching authority. In fact it was an irrational method of governance. “So… if the ruler of Limbo is dead, why does Lockjaw remain unable to generate a gateway?! Surrender while you still can, I for one repent of joining your side”!

With that statement the sky shifted from burnt orange to blackish orange with a dark red glow on the horizon, which silhouetted distant mountains. And reveled a multitude of distant specks that had hereto be lost in the glare of the orange sky.

“Are those….”? Iso started to ask while yet knowing what the answer had to be.

“Demons, a great many of them. And they are heading our way”. Finished Naja, her vision abilities clearly showing her what was approaching.

“How many”? Inquired Inferno with a sinking feeling.

“Ummm… all of them I think”. The horizon was growing dark with the rapidly approaching specks. They were surrounded and demons were flying in from all sides like a rising tsunami like wall.

The Inhumans looked resolute. The Nuhumans uncertain. Johnny just… naive.

“We took them down before, we can do it again…”. Spoke Johnny Storm, as he started to give a little pep talk.

Then a voice spoke out of the sudden gloom. Not a human voice, but instead something that sounded like a small blast furnace igniting and given voice. A voice that was filled with anger, pain, and… rage.

“Wrong…”.

A figure walked out of the gloom as if the very darkness took form. It was female… well… kind of female. It was goat hoofed feet (but human knees), garbed neck to hairy knees in a spiky ink black body suit that had some armor on it. The hands were still human hands but now had reddish skin. And her head... Her head was surrounded by a mass of red flames and her hair was as if spun from fire itself. Her head was now just a skull like mask with horns that had no eyes, just burning pits, like opening into a blast furnace. And her mouth was a pit of flame with burning teeth.

She was holding an incandescent sword aloft with both hands, a sword that looked like flame given form. She shouted as she charged at Blackbolt.

“Okay… your rules”!

Part 20b: Hell hath no fury…

Blackbolt and Illyana met, she swinging her sword downwards with both hands, he punching with his right hand as he unleashed his Master Blow. The blow was focused upon Illyana and the release of energy shattered the landscape behind her for dozens of miles.

Everybody was temporarily blinded and when their visions recovered they beheld Blackbolt kneeling on the ground with his right hand gripping his left shoulder so as to stanch the flow of blood from the severed left arm that lay at his feet. Several hundred yards away Illyana was getting to her hooves amidst shattered and half molten rock. Her black body suit had small little cracks all over that bleed flame and light, like she as a fractured porcelain figure or something. She was holding her sword in one hand.

“BLACKBOLT”! Screamed Medusa as she ran to her fallen husband.

Illyana was distant, but all could hear her words as spoke.

“Hell Lord you stupid idiots! A Hell Lord in her domain”!

She thrust the sword into the air above her head and a mile behind her an immense teleportation disk flared into existence about half a mile above the ground, and the base of a stone tower slid forth from and began to plummet towards the ground.

“Karnak is on the top of the tower of Wisdom”! Screamed Naja.

Karnak - An Ihuman who was never exposed to the Terrigen Mists, so never developed additional powers like other Inhumans, but he is a martial artist who can find the weakness in anything and then use his training and strength to exploit it. His parents had refused to allow him to become an Inhuman due to what had happened to his brother, so instead he studied at the Tower Of Wisdom until his natural powers of perception became so phenomenally strong that he could annihilate anything by touching it by finding its flaw. He is one of the Inhuman’s greatest warriors.

“Let’s see if he can find a flaw in terminal velocity”! Was Illyana’s sarcastic question.

In short he didn’t. The tower crashed into the ground with a shattering sound of disintegrating rock that ground him into paste.

“Nope”! Was Illyana’s satisfied conclusion.

“You will pay in blood for this”! Screamed Medusa as she commanded all to attack Illyana while she cradled the injured Blackbolt.

Illyana made no rely as all but Medusa and the fleeing Moon Girl with Devil D surged forward to attack, each with their powers, while the Human Torch took to the air and fired a massive fire blast upon Illyana who paid it no mind. Johnny’s attack had the unfortunate side affect of actually blocking the rest from getting close to Illyana.

Meanwhile… Moon Girl clung to the neck of Devil D as the wall of demons approached. God she hoped her analysis was right… The flood of demons parted just as it came to her and Devil D, went to either side just out of reach of Devil D’s jaws, and closed again behind her. She’d been right, which meant…

Lockjaw teleported behind Illyana and attempted to bite Illyana only to have Illyana thrust her burning sword of flame behind her which impaled Lockjaw through the roof of his mouth and out the top of his head.

“Lockjaw”! Screamed Kamala as she saw the Inhuman’s dog die.

That’s when the approaching wall of demons broke upon them and all turned black.

Most quickly perished in the demonic hailstorm.

In the end it was Johnny, Crystal, and Medusa huddled in a defensive parameter around the unconscious Blackbolt keeping the demons at bay with their powers and Medusa’s flailing hair. Then the demons pulled back and the gloom eased as the burning Illyana strode forth from the demon ranks.

“It doesn’t have to be this way”! Shouted Johnny in desperation.

Illyana said nothing as she gestured with her sword as she cast some kind of spell. Everybody braced, but the assault was not one they expected.

Medusa’s hair suddenly grasped Crystal and broke her neck. A fate shared by Blackbolt was well. Then Medusa’s hair enveloped her and bound her.

The sudden abruptness of the act stunned both Medusa and Johnny.

“You can leave Mr. Storm, or die. The choice is yours in this”.

“I won’t leave her”! Shouted Johnny. Damn he wanted to go nova but… Medusa would die if he did that as there was no way to shield her. Maybe if he…

Illyana gestured with her sword and an invisible bubble cut off Johnny from air. His flames gutted out and Johnny found he couldn’t breath. He gasped, fought to breath, and passed out.

The shield stayed in place and Johnny slowly asphyxiated to death. An ignoble way to die.

Illyana gestured again, after Johnny expired, and four stone pillars erupted forth from the ground. Medusa’s hair wrapped around the pillars and then reached back to grasp each of her limbs as she was pulled into the air spread eagled. Bound and gagged and held aloft by her own hair.

Illyana’s hell form flickered and now Illyana’s human form and non flaming sword were present. She looked… tired. She limped over to where Medusa hovered bound and spoke.

“Happy”?

The hair gagging Medusa relaxed and Medusa screamed in grief and rage. Screamed and then ranted.

“You will pay for this”!

Sudden grief filled Illyana’s expression as tears began to flow. “Already did, already am”.

“I shall kill you”!

A long silent look, then Illyana replied with distain as she turned to leave.   “Good luck with that”.

Illyana addressed the mass circle of demons, or more specifically one demon.

“She’s yours Booger”. (Booger had been Sapna’s pet demon. She’d named him booger because he was snotty).

The demons surged forth and Medusa… died.

Part 20c: Planning for the attack on New Attilan

“Illyana are you paying attention”? Storm spoke with irritation.

“Yes Ororo, I am”. Replied Illyana as a far away look in here eyes faded away.

Storm continued. “No time for daydreaming, we need to be focused”.

Illyana attempted to end the correction. “Sorry… I was thinking about… contingencies if things don’t go according to plan”.

Chapter Text

Come on! Eight months of dead and diseased mutants everywhere! Eight months! It’s like Hitler coming out of the bunker at the end of WW2 and declaring that nobody ever told him about the Jews being killed and if only he’s known everything would have been ok as he would have put a stop to it.

And Medusa saying “What? Why didn’t they just tell us? We would have found a solution that didn’t come to… this”. Gee… I guess killing everybody who wanted to destroy or harm the cloud kind of puts a damper on folks suggesting any such ideas to you. And don’t forget having Blackbolt blasting Summers to vapor because he did just such a thing. (yes I know it was illusion, but the Inhumans thought they did it).

I like my stories to make sense damn it! The real reason was of course Editorial direction as Disney (which I am a share holder by the way) is still striving to make the Inhumans TV show and film (not sure what the current state of that is).

So I thought upon my dismay and came up with a mechanism to… express myself. So, here is my take. Hope you like. If so then give a shoutout. Oh, and I try to also account for why Illyana is not currently scheduled for any upcoming comic books.

This takes place right at the end of Inhumans vs. X-Men Issue 6 and no… I’m so not a fan of the Inhumans. Apologies for the crudity but… well… you’ll see why.

Part 21a: Elsewhere…

Someplace red, smoky, and filled with a great deal screams and gnashing of teeth. A voice like a broken chainsaw spoke in irritation… “What now Yana? I’m a tad busy”.

A female voice making a statement is made that you can’t quite make out.

The broken chainsaw sighs like a cracking cylinder head. “Cashing in one of these trivial favors that I owe you? Well… favors are not agreements so actually performing what you… request is optional per the little bets we Hell Lords sometimes make. Tell Uncle what is it and I’ll let you know if I wish to do the deed as it were”.

Again a female statement that you can’t make out, followed by a long pause.

“Really…? That’s the favor? Dang Yana, I’d pay you for the opportunity. So… deliciously fun. Why in hell wouldn’t you not want to do that yourself”?

A very brief indiscernible female statement.

The broken chainsaw voice purred a reply. “I… see, can’t say I understand but… I see. Ok. I’m all in. Point the way babe. Let Big Daddy show you how it’s done”.

Part 21b: Ororo’s office (the school in Limbo)

Ororo, Logan, and Erik were cloistered in Ororo’s office.

Logan got to the point. “Ro’, you know something’s not quite right”.

Erik added his input. “I am unable to conceive of how Forge could have been mentally manipulated into creating Inhuman hunting Sentinels without Magik having any clue at all”.

“Nor the ease in which the Inhumans escaped their confinement”. Mused Ororo. “Magik has been… distracted since the death of Sapna…”.

“Not that distracted”. Was Logan’s gruff reply.

Part 21c: Emma…

Emma was sitting by the fire. This was in one of her safe houses that she was very certain almost nobody knew about. Emma took another long swallow from her glass of red wine, an empty bottle lay upon the floor, she then looked into the fire and spoke.

“Are you watching Magik? Are you there”?

It looked like there were two eyes in the fire. Then the fire spoke back with the sound of Illyana’s voice.

“Yes Emma… I’m watching… You look…”.

A flash of light and Illyana was standing in the room. “Terrible”.

Emma had been crying and her mascara had run with long streaks down her face.

Illyana poised a question, one that had been on her mind for quite some time. “He died while you were in his mind, didn’t he? Scott that is”.

Emma slightly slurred a reply. “Yes…”. Then stood and picked up a black helmet and placed it upon her head. “Look, I made a new costume, one in remembrance of him”.

Illyana was not impressed. “Looks like Judge Dread with a bit Rachel’s hound costume studs mixed with dominatrix and an oversized magneto helmet. Honestly Emma, Kitty couldn’t do worse”.

“Don’t need you… don’t need anybody”. Was Emma’s slurred response.

Illyana sighed. “That was poorly done Emma. Killing the Inhumans who had just destroyed the cloud. And forgetting you had the Inhuman Sentinels. You’re… your mental emanations disrupted almost everybody’s ability to fight. Even had Storm just hovering there so as to observe you in your revenge   All that effort for your vengeance and you screw it up. Well, I’m out. Done with that. In that topic you are decidedly on your own”.

“Like you care… And they get off Scott free… Scott…”. That’s when Emma started crying again.

Illyana gently took the helmet off of Emma. “Not… completely. Now let’s get you to bed before you hurt yourself”.

Part 21d: Celebrations

Blackbolt and Medusa were in the middle of some serious flirting in one of the private bars at this nightclub, he was behind the bar and she was in front of it. On the bar was the diamond sliver from Emma Frost.

Medusa was dressed in a flowing purple gown that showed most of one leg and the majority of her cleavage, he was in a tuxedo version of his mutual costume. They looked utterly pleased with themselves, then…

The door to the private bar opened and Illyana Rasputin (Magik) walked in, shutting the door behind her. She was dressed in her usual black field costume, but was lacking her sword.

Both Medusa and Blackbolt glared and Medusa spoke for both of them. “Get out”.

“In a bit”. Was Illyana’s reply as she sat on a bar stool. “Some… things need to be said first”.

Medusa’s hair waved dangerously. “Get out or we throw you out Mutant”.

Illyana grinned at the threat. “I think you’re going to find that… that’s going to be a bit of a problem. I’ll have a blue moon beer in a frostily glass”.

Medusa’s red hair started to reach for Illyana, and then just fell flat on the floor as if it was just now just long hair.

Medusa glanced at Blackbolt as they exchanged mental thoughts… well they tried to, all they got was silence. Both of their eyes rose in surprise.

“And no silent talkie”. Stated Illyana as she also reminded them that she was... “Still waiting for my beer”.

Blackbolt frowned and took a step in the direction of Illyana.

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you”? Teased Illyana in a rather not nice tone of voice.

“We broke out of your limbo; I think we can handle you”. Replied Medusa with a dismissive sniff.

Which apparently prompted laughter from behind them. A rather frightening laugh in that it sounded like broken glass in a garbage disposal, yet completely understandable.

“Ha ha ha ha… you… you think you actually broke out all by your lonesomes? Yana, Yana, Yana… you are wasted on fools such as these”. Laughed the voice in mirth. “Now Yana, if only you’d see reason and come join with me we could have such… fun times”.

They knew that voice. They slowly turned and confronted…

Mephisto!

In appearances he was a tall man red of flesh (and I don’t mean American Indian). He had wild and crazy longish blackish red hair. He was dressed tattered red cloak with a high collar and a tattered red loin cloth and his feet were concealed by elegant red leather boots. In short he looked like a devil minus a tail.

Mephisto helpfully pointed out. “Lady’s still waiting for her beer. My my, such slow service, and prone to raciest comments I might add. Suddenly an iPhone8 was in Mephisto right hand (pre-release, the devil always gets the best that Apple has, part of a little deal Steve Jobs made oh so long ago). “SIRI bring up Yelp for Blackbolt’s nightclub, I need to post a negative review. No no, Blackbolt’s Nightclub not Black Volt’s electronics supply emporium. Ahhh, that’s it”.

Thumbs a blazing Mephisto also spoke the review as he typed it in. “Staff is composed of only slightly reformed Racist Xenophobic Slave Owners who not only overcharge, but are slow on delivering orders. And the pork dumplings are under cooked as well resulting in frequent bouts of sudden explosive diarrhea for those unlucky enough to partake. Don’t, and I quote, don’t be dancing next to somebody on the club floor who was partaken of that house specialty”.

Mephisto put away the phone (somewhere) and smiled at the glaring Inhumans. “Don’t even think you can toss me out with all your powers now inoperable. Now the Lady is still waiting on her beer. I’ll have a whisky sour… hmmm make that two whisky sours, extra large, and make them extra extra sour if you get my drift (set pucker factor to max), and while you’re making them give me a shot glass and that bottle of Four Roses Bourbon on the shelf behind you”.

“Make it yourself”. Replied Medusa with bitter scorn. “We are leaving”.

Blackbolt pocketed the piece of diamond as Blackbolt and Medusa walked to the door, opened it, and…. looked upon nothing. Just a black void. They hurriedly backed up and shut the door. They turned to find Mephisto drinking a shot and the bottle of Bourbon was now in front of him.

Illyana also had her glass of icy cold beer. She got up, with the beer in hand, and walked to the door. “Excuse me”. She politely said as she edged past the two Inhumans, opened the door and departed into nothing.

Mephisto waved at them from his end of the bar. “You’re trapped here until we have a little talk. And the longer it takes… well… Hurry up with those whisky sours. And I just adore Karaoke and John Denver”. With that a disco ball materialized. Mephisto got off of his bar stool and began to sing Rocky Mountain High as music burst forth. Badly singing I might add, combined with groin thrusts like some demented combination of Elvis and Michelle Jackson while using the bottle as if it was a mike.

…

…

And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I've seen it raining fire in the sky.

I know he'd be a poor man if he never saw an eagle fly,

Rocky Mountain high, the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I've seen it raining fire in the sky.

Friends around the campfire and everybody's high

Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high.

Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high!

…

…

Medusa and Blackbolt exchanged glances and then walked back over to where Mephisto was singing. Blackbolt accidentally stepped on Medusa’s hair causing her to briefly curse up a blue streak at him. Medusa sat down and Blackbolt returned to behind the bar and silently grumbled to himself while he started making the whisky drinks.

Mephisto smiled an evil grin and stopped singing. “Knew you’d see it my way. They always do in the end. Golly gosh darn, didn’t even get to my boy band tribute. Now let’s see…”.

Part 21e: Truths

Mephisto sat back down on the bar stool, picked up the shot glass and tossed it over his shoulder and then proceeded to take a swig right from the bottle. “Ahh, good stuff. Well… Yana asked that I give you two this little chat being that she’d probably end up killing you if she did it herself. I owned her a favor as I lost a bet a little while ago, little thing hell lords do from time to time, so here we are”.

“We do not fear the witch”. Replied a disdainful Medusa which only made Mephisto laugh again and slap his knee.

“Ha ha ha ha… Witch? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Yana so underplays it… well she’s young, she’ll learn. Yana’s a witch like I’m a choir boy. Hell Lord you two ninnies. Hell Lord”. He took another swig from the bottle.

“Didn’t stop us from escaping her prison cell”. Replied Medusa.

Mephisto smirked. “Because she set you up to escape dumb ass, and left you close enough to find where Blackbolt was being kept, how… convenient that was. And no alarms? Please… Now I admit she’s not the tactical and strategic genius like you Medusa, I mean just look at the brilliant strategies you had incase the Mutants attacked, which was so obviously going to happen… oh wait… sorry wrong universe. Just so many of the little buggers… let’s see… in this universe… the Mutants handed you your ass with both of your thumbs up it as well. Took all of you down like Andy Kaufman going up against a real wrestler. I mean… high school football team vs. the Oakland Raiders”.

Scowls from the Inhumans as Medusa replied. “They… surprised us the first time, the second encounter went much differently”.

“Rrrrriiiiggghhhhttttt”. Scoffed Mephisto. “Find somewhere else to peddle those damaged goods. One word as to why you did so much better, just one word… can you guess it”?

Silence from the Inhumans. Blackbolt finished making the drinks and slide them to Mephisto.

“No? Well… the word of the day is… Emma! She’s nuts! Bonkers! Two plus two equals cheesy grits kind of crazy. Plus she was rather drunk. The X-Men fought so badly because Emma’s mental vibs just interfered with everything, girl just wanted to grandstand on her death by cop attempt and because of all that self medication she kept getting distracted”. Mephisto giggled, then continued.

“You taking down Psylocke while she prattles on about having a sword? Only wolverine left to protect Forge and the cloud destroying machine? Emma forgetting she had Inhuman sentinels for crying out loud? Don’t kid yourself Medusa, you should have gone down faster then Paris Hilton at Adult Con. Your big battle was with a drunk suicidal crazy woman so of course you looked better the second time”.

Mephisto handed a whiskey sour each to Medusa and Blackbolt. “That’s for you dearies, like my booze straight, and don’t you even think about not drinking it as you can’t leave this room until I leave and you drink up”.

Medusa glared but… took a sip. And yes it was very very sour. Blackbolt’s fist clenched, but the glass remained unbroken. He then took a sip of the sour concoction.

Mephisto prompted Blackbolt. “Speak up Blackbolt. Your voice has no power here and we so rarely get to hear you prattle out loud in that whinny high pitched voice of yours. No? Well… didn’t know you were into fisting, man Emma got you good. Now I’m more of a giver then a receiver but you took that fisting like a man! She was up to her elbow in you! Now that’s gotta hurt”!

Blackbolt spoke and… no displays of power, and yea he does have a high pitched voice.

“Get to the point”.

Another smirk from Mephisto. “You may have fooled most of them but… not me. And not Yana”.

“Fooled them as to what”? Scornfully replied Medusa.

“Gunna play dumb I see… well, not exactly hard for you toots”. Mephisto took yet another long swig. “The whole setup. So many months in the making. Almost feel sad for poor o’ll Johnny Storm. I mean such a handy boy toy for you, kept the bed extra warm and scratched the itch whenever you wanted a good scratching seeing that o’ll Blackboltie was gone. And what a good well hung scratcher he was… And then you just kicked him to the curb like an unwanted puppy without even a second thought. But one must ask the question, as o’ll Johnny boy has now banged both of the sisters, just who is better in the sack? My votes on Crystal, yea less experienced but… bet she’s tighter”.

If looks could kill then the glares from the two Inhumans would have destroyed Manhattan by now.

Mephisto continued. “I’d say don’t worry about Johnny, but you aren’t. Johnny will find somebody new, he always does. Bet within the week there will be somebody new for Johnny to wrap little Johnny around. Somebody younger… although… I suppose you were one of his MILFy moments… Opps… wait one…”.

Mephisto wet a finger it raised it into the air like he was trying to find out the direction of the wind. “Why Johnny’s on a rebound one night stand as we speak! And barely legal at that! Ahhh Johnny my lad, I’m proud of you. Go Johnny go go go! Reminds me of the time in this alternate universe where Johnny and Aunty May hooked up, see in that universe Johnny was kind of fixated on older women, really older woman”.

Mephisto eyed Medusa up and down. “Then again… you are old enough to be his mother, stretch marks and all”.

Medusa sneered. “Get to the point you disgusting little man”.

Mephisto smiled. “Eight months… eight whole Fing months you do nothing but defend the cloud. Prevent its destruction. Complain that ISO is off working with Beast when she should be dong more import Inhuman work. Real lack of Bo-Ho over the little dying mutant problem. And what does Blackbolt do during this sad episode? The big nothing! I just can’t see how ‘I'm defending my way of life’ vs. ‘I'm defending my right to live’ is even a debate. But things were going to pot, the Nuhumans just aren’t integrating, and Blackbolt of course saw the setup that was presented to you”.

The two Inhumans went still. Medusa replied. “What setup”?

Mephisto cackled. “Even had a big red button for crying out loud. Push it and save the mutants, don’t push it and they all get to die, and… your true callous nature is utterly reveled and the Nuhumans overthrow you, after all the Inhumans are rather a pushover when it comes to fighting. Push it and you lose, don’t push and you lose. Best you can do is try to come out looking like the selfless hero. Can’t help but notice that if you push it then suddenly it’s ixnay on killing the poor sap who destroys your so-called sacred cloud as that would now put your head on the chopping block. Funny how the rules were different when you thought Summers had destroyed a cloud. Back then it was off with his head”!

“No such thoughts occurred”. Replied Medusa while firmly not looking at Blackbolt.

Which just prompted howls of derisive laughter from Mephisto. “I’m the Devil dearie, such… knowledge comes with the job! Let’s see… what was that little mental exchange you and Blackbolt had”?

Mephisto gestures and a recording of Medusa’s and Blackbolt’s thoughts are played out loud.

Blackbolt “It’s over my love, we need to regroup”.

Medusa. “But the sacred cloud…”?

Blackbolt “Has serviced its purpose, and these Nuhumans are… resistant to our ways”.

Medusa. “We can still find a way to force them to bend to Inhuman rules of society”.

Blackbolt “No… too much Inhuman harm will result. We must… seduce them instead, we must want them to want us to rule them”.

Medusa. “Meaning…”?

Blackbolt “Be the martyr, save these mutants, be the hero, or the choice will be taken away and you will be discarded”.

Medusa. “So the choice is a trap”?

Blackbolt “Yes, regardless of what you pick that button is going off. The cloud will be destroyed. So let us take the credit”.

Medusa. “So then, no choice at all”.

Blackbolt “Other then appearing to be the hero”.

Medusa. “Then we must find an opportunity to trigger the emotional telepathic mime of our reunion that we constructed so long ago as to inspire the mentally weak”.

Blackbolt “Are you done with Johnny”?

Medusa. “Phsss. Fumbling boy compared to you my love. Why did you ever suggest him as my cohort”?

Blackbolt “It made our separation look so very authentic”.

Medusa. “That it did my love, that it did”.

The two Inhumans exchanged glances while Mephisto cackled in amusement and laughed himself to tears, as he laughed he made drink up gestures to them. They did, but almost couldn’t choke down the sour sips.

Finally Mephisto calmed down wiped away a tear of mirth. “Blackbolt carrying you into the air is… beautiful? Just what poor sap of an Inhuman mind wiped telepath wrote that drivel? Then you give up the throne rather then have it taken from you? How utterly pathetic and contrived and oh so false”!

“And now…”? Asked Blackbolt.

Mephisto took a long swig that drained the bottle before answering. “I Love it! My hat would be off to you if I was wearing one. I! Absolutely! Love! It! That’s the kind of thinking we value at team Mephisto”!

Blackbolt raised a question. “So you are…”?

Mephisto stretched as he replied. “Going to do absolutely nothing, so is Yana, much to her annoyance. Rules after all, Hell Lords just aren’t allowed to do some things. That’s why she decided to have me tell you as the girl just didn’t trust herself not to loss her temper and then…”. Mephisto drew his finger across his throat.

“She has not the power”. Spoke Blackbolt, which just again get Mephisto laughing.

“She arranged for the death of the Elder gods you dork. You… you’re just… lucky that the powers that be, call them Editorial, is currently on your side. My advice is don’t go looking for dear old Emma. Guess you’ll just have to take whenever Emma throws at you first before you get to respond. Hmm you might want to go off world for a bit, you know… get away. Well… time for me to skedaddle, places to go, people to kill, you know how it is, always work work work work work”.

Mephisto got up from his stool and walked over to the door but paused before opening it, turned and… “Oh and Blackbolt, bad news, Johnny is better at it then you, he’s had more… variety then you after all, plus he’s younger and more… skilled and I’m not sorry to say better equipped as well… That boy is hung! And you know that little thing you’ve always begged Medusa to allow you to do… the thing she never allows you to do? Well… she let Johnny do it. In fact it was kind of their thing, and she loved it! I mean scream like a banshee and tear up the sheets and breaking the bed loved it! And just to be a dick of a spoiler, she’s never ever going to let you do it. Plus… well you should really write Johnny a thank you note for all the little tricks he taught her, boy oh boy is she going to rock your world. And bonus, she’s multi orgasmic now thanks to Johnny, although… it might just be with Johnny… you’ll find out I guess”.

Then a chuckle. “Then again… that’s assuming you two… let’s just say Johnny left a little gift was it were for you. The big H. Yep… Herpes! Surprise”!

Medusa looked horrified and Blackbolt looked… queasy.

Then a statement that prompted an alarmed look on Blackbolt. “Oh and Medusa honey… Blackbolt’s learned a thing or two as well in the months that you two have been apart. Boy’s been positively nailing it! Poontang galore! My my, must be almost half of New York by now. Just kidding, only a few hundred or so. Men are such dogs and you did let him off the leash… But then again… I mean… hell even Johnny cheated on you”.

A scowl of offended disbelief from Medusa.

“You really didn’t know? Crystal banged him so hard on that spaceship of hers he almost had a stroke. Guess the girl was feeling a bit… envious of her big sister. He gave her the big H as well if that’s any comfort. So… Blackbolt my man, how do you rate the two of them? I mean just like Johnny you nailed Crystal a few times behind your wife’s back so who’s better in the sack… Opps! Let the cat out of the bag, my bad… Um… gee is it me or is it suddenly uncomfortable in here”?

It wasn’t Mephisto.

Mephisto waved goodbye. Well… I’ll keep a warm place ready for you both… tootles”.

And with that Mephisto was gone.

Their powers returned.

And the flirting mood had gone cold like liquid nitrogen is cold.

There was then a nock at the door, they exchanged looks and Medusa answered. “Come in”.

It was the maitre d’. “Sir, the city health inspectors just closed down the kitchen. Something about undercooked pork dumplings and… um… the dance floor is… um… a mess”.

Blackbolt wanted to sigh… but refrained.

Chapter Text

But I always like the stories to make sense so this is my take (at least for now). This takes place after the X-Men Gold fight Terrax but before they go off to the UN building to encounter the new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (Magneto should have gotten a copy right on that an royalties, but then again… maybe he does).

As a side note, I liked the issue, art was very good. And then the hidden messages from the penciler Ardian Syaf came to light. Quite anti Kitty, anti Jewish, and anti Chinese if you’re an Indonesian and have the audacity to not be a Muslim. The irony of such a person doing the art for the X-Men is rather amusing in a sad kind of way. Like Hitler being hired to paint Bar Mitzvahs or something. And for those who say don’t rush to judgment, well… Ardian Syaf’s own words, his Facebook page, and his tweets confirm that it was all quite deliberate on his part. Double irony as the writer of the issue is Jewish and the founders of Marvel, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, are also Jewish.

So… I added my opinion as well to the story. Oh… and I occasionally frequent the location of this story so all the food and beer is quite real (food is ok, beer is great). I also make some references to Cosmic Girl Talk Chapter five and the ongoing Magicians and Magik series.

Part 22: Stone Brewery and beer bistro Gardens in San Diego California (Escondido in actuality). A great place to be if you’re a beer geek.

Logan and Kurt were partaking of brewskies, cold ones, libations, oat soda, barley pop, boredom-be-gone, loudmouth soup, real man's Zima, varsity Shirley Temple, suds, liquid bread, silly seltzer, liquid courage, social lubricant, secret ingredient X, daddy's milk, redneck wine, elixir of the gods…

In summation… beer.

Why Stone Brewery of all places? I mean… Kurt and Logan are living in New York and the San Diego region is far away, plus the place is much more high brow then Logan’s normal drinking establishments.

Logan had even grumbled as he looked at the menu. “You can order a cheese plate appetizer for crying out loud. Appetizers are supposed to be fried, that’s what God intended”.

The reason the pair were at Stone was the fact it was Kurt’s turn to pick a location and he’d gone for the place that Dani kept talking about. Plus it was mutant friendly and Kurt is rather… obvious in appearance (even though he was dressed in civilian duds).

They’d shown up (Illyana had ported them) and were quickly seated in the outside beer garden by a blazing gas fire. They were partaking of some appetizers, drinking beer, and waiting for their main courses to arrive.

Currently there were two plates of Stone-Style Hemp Seed Soft Pretzels (three soft pretzels served warm with roasted jalapeño pepper cheese sauce and stone-ground mustard) and two plates of Pork Belly “Char Siu” (Slow braised all-natural pork belly with a sweet-spicy glaze tucked into a steamed bun with cilantro, cabbage and carrots with a tangy dressing).

Kurt was drinking a glass of Stone Tangerine Express IPA (Brewed w/Tangerine & Pineapple). Logan was partaking of Who You Callin' WUSSIE (Northern German Pilsner).

Kurt took a long slow drink and then sighed in contentment, and then ate half a pretzel. “I see while Dani likes this place”.

“Dani’s an IPA fanatic”. Grumbled back Logan as he likewise drank a long gulp, and likewise snagged a pretzel. “Who worships at the alter of Stone IPAs, of course she’d like this place”.

“Explains why she got so upset when that girl’s night out that she arranged got interrupted by those terrorists who wanted to kill both the owners, the patrons, and destroy the brewery as a political statement against ”.

Logan growled. “Can’t stand flam’in fanatics. Blasted sons of Syaf. Surprised she left any of them survive”.

“Well, to hear Jubilee describe it, Dani did want Illyana to change their gender to female, or have the telepaths reassign their sexual preferences... but she did calm down after a while”.

“You mean she sobered up Elf”. Replied Logan while pointing at Kurt with a half eaten pretzel.

“That too”. Snickered Kurt as he then snagged some pork belly. “Ever since that little episode the owners and staff are quite mutant, and X-Men in particular, friendly”.

They both drained their glasses and ordered the next round. Kurt went for a Maine/Stone Dayslayer India Pale Lager while Logan went dark with a Stone Mint Coffee Milk Stout which earned him a sniff of disdain from Kurt as to his beer choice.

“Might you be wanting that cheese plate now”?

“Nothing wrong with variety Elf. So little time, so many…”

Kurt finished the sentence with a laugh. “…Beers”.

The beers arrived and they drank long toast to Kitty on her success as the X-Men team leader against Terrax. After the toast Logan looked upon his beer with appreciation.

“Think I’ve just found a replacement for morning coffee”.

Kurt grinned as he took another sip of his brew. “That statement coming from anybody else would alarm me”.

“One of the many side benefits of having a healing factor Elf. That and keeping the ladies satisfied”.

Kurt returned to a prior topic of conversation. “I’ve made up my mind, I’m gunna do it”. He joked.

“Don’t”. Warned Logan. “For the love of god and your man card, don’t”.

Kurt ignored Logan’s warning, gestured to their waitress and… ordered the cheese plate.

“That’s gunna will cost you ten man points Elf”. Conclude Logan as he drained the last of his glass.

“There’s more to beer food then salted peanuts and Cheetos my friend”. Rebutted Kurt as he ate the last of his pretzel and finished off his beer as well.

“I like Cheetos”. Was Logan’s gruff reply.

Time for more beer. Kurt got a glass of Stone Ripper San Diego Pale Ale while Logan went for Stone Give Me IPA or Give Me Death. The beers and the cheese plate arrived at the same time.

“Wossie”. Lightly mocked Logan as he partook of the cheese.

“Then why are you eating it”? Rebutted Kurt.

“Fixings are good, I’m just man enough not to order it”.

“Logan my friend, the logic of that statement completely escapes me”.

“It’s a man thing Elf, you wouldn’t understand”.

The pair went silent as they enjoyed the food and beer. The Logan made a comment.

“What do you think of Rachel’s new costume and code name”?

Kurt made a face as if he’d just found a bug in his beer. “You know what I think of it, the same as you… it’s… appalling. The name is… weak and the costume is horrendous. mein Gott it’s bad”.

Logan agreed. “And she has a cape bub. A fracking cape, in the style of a Thor cosplay to boot. Storm or Magneto are the only ones who can usually pull off wearing a cape and not look like a duffus. The only reason she’s wearing that getup is…”.

Kurt finished. “Because Kitty designed it. Girl’s got it bad. At least she’s not bitching all the time. From what I’ve heard, back when Rachel was on Storm’s team, she was always complaining about everything”.

“Was she that Kitty obsessed when the three of you were in Excalibur”? Inquired Logan as yet another pretzel vanished.

“Yep…”. Replied Kurt after a long pull on his beer. “Captain Britton and I had a running bet as to when they would start sleeping in the same room. But… nobody won that bet. Hmmm, give it a week or two and maybe we might make a wager of our own as I’m quite sure Rachel is… willing”.

“At least the costume’s not black”. Chuckled Logan which caused an answering chuckle from Kurt as they remembered the little incident from a few days ago.

BEGIN INTERLUDE

Kurt, Logan, Ororo, Peter and Rachel were in the danger room for a practice session. Kitty was in the control room and Illyana was also present with Kitty (they were chatting). Kitty forgot to turn off the mike at one point and the Danger Room participants could now hear the conversation as they fought the combat scenario.

“I hate my costume”. Complained Kitty to Illyana who was not having any of her complaints.

“We’ve been over this Kitty. You know my opinion”.

“I respect your opinion Yana, but…”.

“But you’re not going to following it”.

“No, not in this case”.

“I’ll say it one last time Pryde, once you go black, you never go back”.

This… rather poorly worded statement caused Kitty to just stare at Illyana, where as Kurt froze in the midst of a combat move causing a robot to punch him in the stomach.   Logan and Rachel started to snicker and Ororo looked… pained whereas Peter just looked embarrassed.

Kitty finally replied as she started to giggle. “Are you implying… something Yana”?

Illyana at first just looked at Kitty was some confusion, and then her eyebrows rose and she started to blush. “That’s… that’s not what I meant… I meant clothing, not… not that”. She said as Kitty continued to laugh.

Then it got worse. Logan shouted, as he dismembered a robot. “Storm, any thoughts on the topic”?

Storm replied, while flying about the room, with a completely non humorous tone (she was trying not to laugh). “I find… variety to be pleasant. I have frequently shifted from one to another so… no. Going black is… exaggerated”.

Logan continued the harassment as it were. “Yo Petie, any thoughts on the topic”?

“No”. Was Peter’s brief comment as he destroyed a robot, then… “I have always found that the subject is… overstated and quite… incorrect”.

Illyana continued to blush harder while Kitty was now laughing hysterically.

Kurt BAMF’d to another part of the Danger Room. “Logan, you were a member of the Avengers, any... observations that you care to share”?

Logan grinned. “Thor has a very big… hammer. Cap is a big… patriot. Hulk… smash. Hawkeye always did know how to handle his… bow. Although I sometimes think the whole giant man thing with Hank Pym was because he felt… inadequate when checking out the competition when using the urinal”.

Illyana had enough. “I must be going… um… papers to grade”. With that she teleported away.

END INTERLUDE

“Never knew Hell Lord’s blushed”. Grinned Kurt.

“She did then… but… I swear, Ororo’s got at least two entire closets of costumes”. Commented Logan.

“At least she has costumes. Are you ever going to wear one or is dressing like a red neck rancher your field persona now”?

“Too flam’in old for a costume”. Grumbled Logan.

“What’s next? Yelling at kids to get off your lawn”?

Logan tried to give Kurt a steely eyed glare, but his laugh rather ruined the attempt.

They continued to chuckle as more beer arrived.   Logan went black again as he partook of Modern Times Blackhouse (Coffee Stout) while Kurt went off the reservation a bit with 21^st Amendment High or High Watermelon (Fruit Beer).

“Since when is she grading papers”? Observed Logan as he sipped.

“No idea”. Replied Kurt as he also sipped. “I do recall her mentioning that she part timed in some other dimension’s magic school, some kind of hobby of hers”.

Ahh, dinner arrived. Kurt was having the Duck Tinga Tacos, Slow-braised duck in tomato, garlic and onion topped with cilantro, picked onions, cabbage and crema served with a quinoa, black been, rice salad tossed in avocado cilantro dressing. Logan, being quite the meat and potato kind of guy, had gone for the Braised Short Rib with Yukon Gold horseradish mash and red wine reduction.

And with supper arrived more beer. A Bitter Brothers Golden Child Hefeweizen for Kurt and a Double Bastard Ale for Logan.

“Any thoughts as to why Illyana isn’t on the team”? Inquired Logan as he ate.

“Rachel”. Replied Kurt. “Suffice it to say Rachel is not… a fan. Illyana appears to not really have any beef with Rachel but Rachel does. I heard there was a big blowup in the school cafeteria months ago. Shortly after that Rachel left. I think Kitty is trying to appease Rachel a bit and Illyana appears to understand”.

“Plus I think Magik is a bit tired of being the Uber service”. Observed Logan.

“And there is the whole Emma issue”. Replied Kurt.

“Yea… Emma. Still unlocatable”. Mused Logan.

“Which in itself is… suspicious”. Stated Kurt as he munched a soft duck taco. “ Now Emma blocking telepaths is one thing but…”.

“Blocking magic, or in this case Magik is another”. Finished Logan. “I’m rather sure Ororo has… concerns over that as well. Concerns that she’s shared with Kitty”.

“And of course there is Illyana’s statement that she’s… very busy in Limbo all of a sudden so she wishes to be more of a school defense asset with Dani and not on a team”.

“You buying that”? Asked Logan while cutting up some more meat.

“Not for an instant. Doesn’t help that no telepath can verify her statements. And you can’t…”?

Logan replied to Kurt’s hanging question. “Tell? Nope. Petie’s little sister can lie all she wants and my senses can’t tell the difference. Not sure if it’s a Hell Lord thing or… her nature”.

Supper was now done so… time for more beer. Kurt had Avery The Beast Grand Due (2014) a Belgian Dark Ale while Logan went The Lost Abby Angel’s share Bourbon Barrel Aged Ale (a sipping beer).

“This place is nice Elf. Bit… millennial, but… nice)”.

“Not every bar has to be a dive Logan. Dani says that California is a major hot bed of beer innovation. It pains me to admit that she may be right… but she is overly fixated upon IPAs”.

The two friends continued to enjoy the relaxed night. Once their beers were done Kurt with a Stone Pataskala Red X IPA while Logan went with a Stone 2012 Old Guardian Barley Wine and then a Liberty Station Rumvergnugen (Imperial Dunkelweizen brewed with hazelnuts and molasses).

Then there was Stone Doublicous, Stone Pilot Amber Waves Oatmeal IPA, Stone Jindia Pale Ale, Stone Go To IPA, Maui Mana Wheat, Victory Sour Monkey Belgian Tripel, and likely very other beer on the menu.

Ahh… they spent the night drinking until closing time were then a portal from Illyana took them home.

Kurt was... in a bad way the next day.

Chapter Text

Additional commentary:

Omega Red (Arkady Rossovich) is a Russian serial killer that was turned into a commie super solder version of Captain America by the KGB (without all the goodness of course as we are talking commies). In the end he was killed by Wolverine using some kind of sword.

Well, he’s back, but the magics that resurrected him are fading so a plot is created to capture Illyana and force her to use her magics to stabilize him. This of course works and the X-Men end up hunting for the kidnapped Illyana only to confront Omega Red who rapidly takes down both Ororo and Rachel, which is rather hard to believe, only to be overcome, in the end be, by Wolverine. Plus Komolov defeats Illyana (twice), who is then saved by Peter who regains his ability to turn into steel (for once he gets to save his Snowflake, how… convenient).

Even harder to believe that Komolov was able to take down Illyana twice! We are talking hell lord here.

My take is Illyana was faking and threw the fight each time. In part to see just/demonstrate just what kind of person this lost uncle was, and to help get Kitty and Peter back together (she was the cause of them breaking up back in Utopia and I’ve always felt/written that she feels bad about that). And she keeps wanting to underplay her powers.

In the end the foes are defeated and turned over to SICKLE (Russian version of SHIELD, one can only hope they less frequently try taking over the world like SHIELD tends to do).

But what happens afterwards?

Oh, and apologies for any crudity, we are talking Russian mafia and they tend to be rather crude.

Part 23a: Beery Arm Chair Ruminations (part 1)

“Elf, that’s what a man’s appetizer is supposed to be like.” Declared Logan with great satisfaction.