Chapter Text
Christmas was a time supposed to be spent with family.
Spencer knew this. He also knew that the only family he really had might not be in the right frame of mind to spend it with him.
This was okay for Spencer, it was a fact he had accepted a long time ago.
Unfortunately, it was also a fact known to his friends who all extended their invitations to dinners and drinks and parties.
JJ was having her parents and Will’s round to celebrate another Christmas with little Henry and had asked Spencer, as godfather, if he’d like to join them.
Penelope and Kevin had extended an invitation his way to come round and watch the brand new Doctor Who Christmas special which promised the heartbreaking end to the tenth doctor’s era. Penelope had cried about this twice already despite the episode not having aired.
Morgan was heading back to Chicago to see his mother and sisters and had asked Spencer if he wanted some time out of the city.
Rossi and Emily had almost tempted him with a promise of light drinking and games of poker he’d even be allowed to take part in.
He hadn’t heard from Hotch, but Spencer hadn’t thought he would. This was Jack’s first Christmas without his mother and a wound that fresh needed to be tended with care. Spencer had sent them his love and a gift, and the promise to not work over the holidays. Hotch had made the same one in return.
So, it was decided that Spencer was going to see his mother for Christmas, just like he had every year since he’d left her Benningtons.
It was only as he was packing his bags and getting ready for his flight that Spencer received a call. A call that had led him to where he was now, standing in the street of a Las Vegas suburb on Christmas Eve.
Spencer was impressed by the effort the Myers family made for Christmas.
Lights were hung from the roof like icicles, sparkling white as stars. He could see through the front window that Marissa had set up a Christmas tree where she’d usually have her dining room table and there was even a ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign in the front yard.
It looked simple and affordable and so heartwarmingly festive that Spencer felt like he should have made more of an effort than wearing one red and one white sock. The gifts in his hand felt light, too.
He’d already planned to get Marissa and Oscar something for the holidays, but he’d naively thought he’d have more time to shop.
At first, he’d tried enlisting Morgan’s help to buy something for Marissa but that had only landed Spencer a new dictionary worth of lewd comments and a headache. He’d thought about asking Garcia but wasn’t sure he had the stomach to survive a shopping trip with her. Although, she had given Spencer two gift bags before he left the office - one for Marissa and one for Oscar.
Spencer saw movement in the window, the silhouette of someone leaning to hang an ornament on the tree. It was the prompting he needed to finally move away from his rental car and approach the door.
He rang the bell awkwardly with his pinky, trying not to drop the gifts he was carrying in one hand while trying not to fall backwards from leaning too much on his cane.
Someone from inside called ‘I’ll get it!’ and Spencer took a step back.
The door opened to reveal Samuel Myers dressed in a navy Christmas jumper with a snowman on the front, his wispy hair slightly mussed and a pair of glasses perched on his nose.
‘Dr Reid!’ he exclaimed, holding the door open. ‘Good to see you again.’ Samuel offered Spencer his hand to shake but upon seeing the presents, and then the cane, pulled it back ‘I see you came prepared. Please, come in. Let me take those.’
Spencer let Marissa’s father take the gifts and usher him inside the house.
There were lights and tinsel hung precariously around the walls and wrapped around light fixtures. Spencer could even see where they’d been taped up in places. Bright, enchanting and a little rough around the edges. Just like the woman who'd hung them. The thought made him smile.
The furniture had been moved to accommodate more people - the couch where Sean and Carla acknowledged him with a wave and a smile was turned to face the tree, the dining table had been shoved into the corner by the kitchen archway and there were two armchairs in the space that Spencer had never seen before.
He could hear the tinny but not unpleasant sound of music coming from Marissa’s ancient record player but he couldn't place the song or singer.
No sooner had Samuel shut the door behind him, there came a cry of ‘Spencer!’ from across the room. Spencer looked up to see Oscar sitting at the dining table in a bright red Christmas jumper. Spencer noted the image on the front - an alien in a Santa hat - and couldn't contain his huff of laughter.
He stood up and waved at Spencer, but didn’t leave his spot and Spencer couldn’t help but smile when he realised why.
‘Hey, Oscar!’ he waved back. ‘Are you winning?’ Spencer gestured to the chess set currently laid out on the table.
‘Of course!’ Oscar called back, grinning. Spencer could see his two front teeth had now come through fully.
‘You keep telling yourself that, little-man.’
Spencer shifted his focus to take in Oscar’s opponent.
He was a young man with a kind and handsome face. His hair was a few shades darker than Samuel's and he wore a pale blue sweater that offset his warm brown skin.
Adam, Spencer presumed, Marissa’s brother.
Spencer only knew about him through Marissa’s stories.
After finding out about her, Adam had dropped everything and flown to Vegas with his father so that they might meet. They’d hit it off immediately.
The youngest of the Myers, Simon, had apparently been less enthused by the prospect of an estranged sister and nephew and had refused Marissa’s attempts to make contact.
Adam said something to Oscar and stood, making his way over to where Spencer was idling about in the doorway.
‘You must be Dr Reid,’ Adam said, offering Spencer a hand. ‘Adam. Marissa told me so much about you.’
‘Oh, er Yeah. That's me,’ Spencer said, shaking his hand.
Adam had a smile for politics - showing his white and shining teeth and always just one breath from a laugh. It was hard to believe he was younger than Spencer was. He carried himself like a man who understood the world and wanted to make it his own.
‘Adam Myers. I've heard so much about you,' he said, grinning. Adam must have caught Spencer's raised brow because he clarified, ‘Oscar's your number one fan. I feel like I know you already.’ If he was at all bothered by the FBI agent leaning on a cane, he didn’t show it.
‘Where is Marissa?’ Spencer asked.
Upon his first glance of the room, he’d not spotted her, and she’d not poked her head out of anywhere to come and greet him either.
‘Bedroom,’ Sean offered from the sofa where he was sitting, feeding Rudolph shaped chocolates to a very grateful looking Carla.
Spencer gave him a nod of thanks and, after high-fiving Oscar on the way past, headed for Marissa’s room.
He knocked once and when Marissa didn’t answer, turned the handle to let himself in.
The curtains were drawn shut and the lamp by the bed was the only light, casting the room in a soft yellow glow.
Marissa hadn’t heard him enter and Spencer was glad because the sight of her was like a punch to the sternum.
Across the room, Marissa was swaying gently side to side and singing softly to the infant in her arms.
Marissa had told him about the birth of Carla and Sean’s daughter almost immediately after the fact. They’d called her Isabella - Izzy, for short, a similarity that wasn’t lost on Ozzie - after Sean’s late mother.
It hadn’t even occurred to him when he saw Sean and Carla on the couch that the baby might be here.
‘Let people wonder, let them laugh, let them frown,’ Marissa sang, her hand rubbing little Izzy’s back. ‘You know I’ll love you ‘till the moon’s upside down.’
JJ brought Henry into the office enough that Spencer had seen his friends holding babies plenty of times. But there was something about seeing Marissa in such a tender moment that was making it rather hard to breathe.
‘Don't you remember I was always your clown, ’ she continued, her voice so soft it was barely able to hold the tune. Not that it mattered, it was still the most beautiful song Spencer thought he’d ever heard. ‘So why try to change me now? ’
Marissa turned slightly and Spencer knew the moment she saw him because a smile spread across her face. She held a finger to her lips and gestured for him to wait before she turned back to the bassinet and laid the now sleeping Isabelle inside.
Once the baby was down and Marissa was sure she wasn’t about to wake up again, she crept back across the bedroom and into the hallway where Spencer stood waiting.
‘Sorry to interrupt,’ Spencer said once Marissa had pulled the door closed.
‘Don’t be,' Marissa waved him off. 'She’d about cried herself out anyway.’
‘You looked good with her,’ Spencer said before catching Marissa's raised brow. ‘I meant you were good with her, getting her to sleep I mean. I’m not saying you look good - although you do, look good I mean. I’m sorry I just-’
‘Spencer,’ Marissa said, laying a hand on his arm, ‘I know what you meant.’
He took a deep breath, allowing himself the moment to take Marissa in fully she in the light.
She’d braided her curls back and Spencer tried hard not to smile at her earrings. The two glittery candy canes looked like something from Garcia’s personal Christmas collection. Other than that she simply wore a red skirt down to her knees with lipstick to match and a black jumper that looked soft to the touch. She wasn’t wearing any shoes, but this was her house, after all.
‘Have you been here long?’ Marissa asked, pulling her hand back.
‘Not at all. Your dad let me in.’
‘Still not used to hearing that,’ she sighed, shaking her head. Her smile faltered when her gaze fell on his knee. The furrow in her brow told Spencer she’d noticed the way he was white-knuckle gripping the handle of his cane.
‘You shouldn't stand on that leg so much,’ she frowned.
‘It’s fine,' Spencer said. ‘I can actually barely feel it.’
‘Liar.’
‘How are things going with your dad?’ Spencer asked, desperate to change the subject.
‘They're good,’ Marissa said quickly and Spencer raised a brow. ‘No, really, they’re really good.’ She sounded sincere, but the crease between her brows was still there. Spencer fought the urge to reach up and smooth it away with his thumb.
‘What is it?’
Marissa sighed a laugh.
‘He wants me to move to DC.’
Spencer wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.
‘Move to DC,’ he echoed as if the words would make more sense if he were the one saying them aloud.
‘Yeah. Said he wants to be closer to me and Oz. Plus,’ she continued, crossing her arms, ‘He thinks it would be good for us to start fresh.’
Spencer couldn’t agree more.
This city, for all its wonders, was rife with ghosts for him. He could only imagine what it must be like for Marissa. All she’d suffered here, all she’d endured. He was surprised she’d stayed this long.
But the way Marissa said the words, the way her gaze was focused on the ground...
‘And what do you think?’ Spencer asked carefully.
‘I thought that I would find out what you thought,’ she said, bumping her socked foot against his shoe.
‘Wha - me? Why me?’
She shrugged. ‘You’re the one with all the answers.’
It wasn’t a real answer and they both knew it.
‘I'm not sure that's true,’ he said but she just shrugged again. ‘What do you want to do?’
‘I don't know,’ she sighed, running a hand over her face. ‘Samuel's offering to put in a word with a really good school for Oz. I mean really good. Somewhere he can really thrive. But, I just don't know if I can leave.’
‘I remember a time you wanted nothing more than to leave Vegas.’
‘I didn't have anything to live for then,’ she said, finally looking at him. The space between them felt suddenly very vast. ‘Now there's Carla and Sean and the baby. They're my family, I can't just leave them. And my job!’ she exclaimed. ‘Jobs don't just come out of nowhere, how am I supposed to find something decent in a city like that?
‘Did I tell you how I got shot?’ Spencer cut in.
Marissa hesitated, her eyes training on his face.
‘Considering you never actually told me you'd even been shot - no, you didn't. Is it relevant?’
‘We were working a case. This guy was getting threats from the unsub that he was going to kill his son. It's a long story but the unsub came to the house where we were. I took a bullet for him.’
‘Of course you did, you idiot,’ Marissa said not unkindly, but there was a strange sort of warmth in her gaze. If Spencer had to put a name to it, he’d have liked to call it pride.
‘My point is,’ he continued, ‘This guy just happens to be a trauma surgeon at George Washington University Hospital.’
Marissa blinked up at him, her mouth slightly open.
‘So, if finding a job is what you're worried about, Samuel isn't the only one who can put in a good word.’
‘I see,' Marissa said, crossing her arms over her stomach. She wasn't looking at him again.
‘You can't think about other people all the time,’ Spencer said, reaching out a hand and laying it on her shoulder. The sweater was exactly as soft as he’d thought it would be. ‘Sometimes you have to do things for yourself. But I know you'll make the right choice.’
Marissa reached her own hand up and laid it atop his.
‘I think I just did.’
Surely she didn’t mean-
Spencer opened his mouth to ask, to beg her to clarify but was cut off by the sudden bouncing appearance of Oscar in the hallway.
‘Mom!’ he called, his voice still unusually loud for such a small child. ‘Grandpa says we could do presents - I want to do presents!’
Marissa pulled her gaze from Spencer’s awestruck face and turned to her son.
‘And what about tomorrow morning?’ she challenged.
‘Grandpa and uncle Adam said they do one on Christmas eve too!’
‘Do they now?’
‘Come on, mom, please!’ he begged. 'It's tradition!' Spencer saw Marissa’s lip twitch.
‘Fine. One present. One!’ she held up a finger for emphasis.
‘Awesome! Spencer - you get one too!’ Oscar beamed, turning his attention to Spencer. ‘It’s from me! Well, mom paid for it, but I picked it out. You’re going to love it!’ and then he was gone, tearing back into the living room to announce his victory.
Marissa was smiling when she turned back to look at Spencer.
He couldn't help but stare at her.
‘What?’ she asked, brow raised. ‘You didn’t think we wouldn’t get you something?’
‘Do you mean it?’ Spencer asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Marissa’s smile softened, her brow relaxing.
‘I'll have to talk to Oscar, obviously. But then I think with the museums and being so close to the one person who can beat him at chess should sway him.’
‘Are you saying -’
And the words that came out of Marissa’s mouth were greater than any gift that could be waiting for him under the tree.
‘We’re moving to DC.’