Chapter Text
“what are you thinking?”
wanda’s voice is soft as it cracks through the air, her hand comfortingly soothing up and down natasha’s arm as they lay beside each other on her bed back in the cabin in the mountains of sokovia, simply staring at each other, wanda no longer in her scarlet witch form and just wearing a simple sweater and jeans.
it’s been a few days now since natasha said goodbye to her sister, most of that time spent crying and mourning, the pain still gripping her as a stray tear falls over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face, and she sniffs and begins tracing patterns against wanda’s skin just above her elbow, glad that she at least has someone here with her.
she doesn’t like being alone with her thoughts.
“i miss her. but i’m thankful i got to say goodbye.” natasha croaks out. wanda swallows thickly as she gives natasha’s arm a gentle squeeze.
“i’m sorry i couldn’t give you more time-.”
“don’t you dare, wanda maximoff. those few minutes are a gift i’ll treasure forever. you’re amazing, you know that?” natasha says quickly, trying to ignore the flush that floods her cheeks at her own words as wanda smiles softly and leans in just a little bit closer. natasha smiles back, the hand tickling wanda’s skin pausing for the briefest moment as she mulls over her next words.
“do you…” she pauses, unsure of what exactly to say here, because she doesn’t want to upset wanda, but the girl just merrily watches as natasha frowns and purses her lips.
“do you ever wish you could bring pietro and vision back?” she asks softly. wanda inhales sharply, and natasha feels instant regret flood her for her words before, to her surprise, wanda smiles.
“i wish i could bring everyone back. it’s not the way the world works, though…unless it’s what’s destined.” she says slowly, choosing each word carefully. natasha looks at her in wonder.
she's never been a big believer in things like that, but her entire world's view was flipped upside down the second she met the maximoff twins, one able to fun at speeds unknown and one able to manipulate minds and matter...
“you really believe in all that? destiny and fate?” she asks hoarsely. wanda chuckles suddenly and shakes her head.
“i didn’t. i couldn’t fathom a destiny for pietro that ended in death. nor the same for vision. but…” she trails off, eyes suddenly boring into natasha’s like a laser, but natasha finds herself staring right back, unable to look away as wanda licks her lips and nods at her.
“things have changed.” she says evasively. natasha cocks an eyebrow despite herself.
“as cryptic as ever, huh?” she teases. wanda laughs quietly, but it quickly fades as she suddenly moves her hand down natasha’s arm to touch her hand. natasha can’t help but smile at the warmth of wanda’s fingers as the witch traces a circle on her palm with the tip of her index finger.
“if you could be brought back permanently…would you want to be?” wanda asks suddenly, throwing natasha for six, but she doesn’t hesitate with an answer.
“no.”
“are you telling the truth?” wanda asks immediately. natasha hesitates, eyes wide as she swallows thickly before sighing.
what's the point in lying when this girl can see right through her every damn time?
“…no.” she says truthfully, this guilt she can’t explain hitting her in waves as wanda interlaces their fingers.
“no judgement. if you could be brought back…would you want to be brought back?” wanda asks her again. natasha can already feel the lump forming in her throat as she takes a deep breath in and just says what’s on her mind.
why stop being honest now?
“i want to be able to hug yelena whenever i want to. i want to be able to see her grow old, and grow old with her. i always had this image in my mind of the both of us old and grey, aching bodies from all we’ve been through, but happy, because we survived.” natasha says with a sad smile, and she notices how wanda squeezes her hand before she continues talking.
“i want to be able to live the life i always wanted, free from obligation and obedience and doing things for other people. i’d want to come back so i could finally do what i’ve always wanted, finally live how i want to live…just be in peace. no wars to fight, no battles, no saving the world, just being normal. getting to go to a goddamn grocery store and have an internal conflict about which goddamn ice cream flavor to choose instead of making life or death decisions at the drop of a hat. i’d want to just live.” natasha croaks out, tears falling before she can stop them as she contemplates the future she’s now lost.
it was worth it…to bring every back, it truly was, but she’s upset about it, and she feels she has every right to be.
she can be upset that she died.
god…she died.
she died, she spent her entire life doing crazy things, doing terrible fucking things to stay alive and all it ended in was this.
death.
wanda is looking at her in a way that has natasha slightly perplexed, because she can’t read her emotions at all, but to her surprise, wanda suddenly laughs softly before she shakes her head as if she’s amused.
“of all the things…first to fall in love with a synthezoid…and now a ghost…” she whispers, staring straight into natasha’s eyes as she says it.
natasha feels her heart sink to somewhere beneath the cabin.
“…what?” she barely manages to get out.
wanda didn’t mean that, she can’t have, it’s not…it’s not possible, not feasible-
“i think a part of me already was long before this. maybe from that first day you came to my room, or the first night i felt safe with the avengers because of you. i think i always have been, but this time we’ve had together has just amplified it. you were always so busy fighting, we never got much time together that wasn’t about training or staying safe, and vision…” wanda trails off with a shake of her head, but a smile all the same as natasha stares at her in complete bewilderment.
it’s impossible. there’s no way…
“wanda, you…i’m not alive, i’m not even real-.” natasha sputters out, still trying to wrap her mind around what wanda’s just said.
she’s just caught up in the moment, it must be that, there’s no way she’s in love with natasha…no way…
“real or not, you’re here now. none of it matters, anyway.” wanda chuckles, reaching a hand up to cup natasha’s cheek in it. natasha licks her lips, her heart still racing, because she doesn’t even know how she’s supposed to respond.
she’s…she’s never had this. she’s never had someone say something like this to her before, her life has always been one fight after another, she…how does she even begin to…
“i…”
“you don’t have to say it back or anything. i just wanted you to know.” wanda tells her with a chuckle, staring at natasha in amusement as the redhead just continues to look at her, dumbfounded.
for years…for years, natasha’s yearned for something, put her heart and soul into training wanda to look over her shoulder, to keep herself safe despite her powers, was so dead set on making sure wanda knew everything, and she knew…she knew that the reason she tried so hard was because a part of her cared perhaps more than she should.
natasha didn’t act for a goddamn reason. she’s never had this, she doesn’t know how to do this. her entire life has been about espionage and deception, how is she supposed to know what to do with a feeling like love?
and then vision happened, and natasha didn’t mind, because she knew it could never happen for them. but losing yelena and wanda, that had caused her more pain than the red room ever put her through.
yelena’s her sister, the love is there, familial and nurturing, but with wanda, it was different.
she couldn’t identify it throughout those five years but maybe this is what it is.
maybe it’s love of a different kind.
“i think a part of me has been, too. i don’t…i’ve never felt it before, wanda. i’ve never felt love before, not in that way, and i didn’t know what it was i felt for you, but you and vision…you just worked. and i couldn’t destroy that. but those five years, it wasn’t just yelena and melina and alexei i was so desperate to bring back, losing you hurt more than i ever thought it could. maybe this is why, maybe i just didn’t know it…or wanted to deny it.” natasha’s rambling, she knows she is, but wanda suddenly tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and stares right into her eyes.
“nat, just look at me…tell me what you feel.” wanda whispers. natasha exhales shakily, trying to pick it all apart, but she just says the first words that come to mind, knowing they’ll be her most honest.
“safe. warm…peaceful. but also heartbroken.” natasha can feel the tears forming, and she hates herself for it as wanda looks at her in surprise.
“heartbroken? why?” she questions. natasha bites down on a trembling bottom lip, but dammit, wanda is a witch, because natasha can’t even begin to stop herself as it all comes rushing out of her.
“because i spent five years without you and the p-pain of that…i never wanna feel it again. i can’t lose you, wanda.” she manages to get out, hating how pitched her voice is because the tears are falling and she can’t even begin to stop them.
“i think you know what love is then, natasha.” wanda tells her with a magical smile that has natasha laughing despite herself.
“…it sucks, how do i turn it off?” she gasps out through her tears. wanda laughs with her, lifting a hand to wipe away her tears as she pauses, eyes distant like she’s thinking something over.
“i think i’ve come to terms with it now. all the loss i’ve been through, maybe it was all to bring me here to this moment. this moment where i can be who i’ve always been destined to be. ‘the scarlet witch’…and wanda maximoff.” she says firmly, smiling as natasha lifts a finger and simply trails it down the length of wanda’s nose, ending with a tap to the point of it playfully.
“they’re both pretty amazing to me.” she teases. wanda suddenly wraps her fingers around her wrist, and natasha feels her heart begin racing as wanda suddenly presses a kiss to the inside of her palm gently.
“mmm…maybe it’s not about loss, though. maybe i was meant for more than some big destiny. maybe i was meant for this moment here, too. to give you what you deserve. what we both deserve.” wanda whispers, closing natasha’s hand into a fist and pulling it to rest over her heart.
“what do you mean?” natasha asks, leaning in a little closer until wanda’s forehead is pressed against hers. the witch breathes out shakily against her before she closes her eyes and lifts her free hand.
“i understand why vormir brought you back now.” she breathes out. her hand begins glowing, red mist twirling between her fingers as she rests it over natasha’s face, thumb brushing over the apple of her cheekbone.
natasha feels a warmth start from the edge of her toes, a warmth unlike anything she’s ever felt before, and she gasps at the feeling of it.
“wait…wanda, what are you doing?” natasha asks in shock, fingers circling over the wrist of the hand at her face.
“what i should’ve done the second i saw you were back.” wanda tells her, voice strong, eyes opening to reveal nothing but red as the warmth moves up natasha’s legs now, enveloping her entire body, this warmth that feels so familiar but she can’t put her hand on where from-
natasha feels her heart beginning to pick up speed, almost like she’s having a heart attack, this wave of emotion slamming into her over and over again, anger, sadness, grief, despair, happiness, joy, confidence, a million different other things as the warmth continues growing and growing and growing, spreading throughout her whole body until suddenly-
it stops.
wanda’s magic fades, the last wisps of red disappearing as she opens her red eyes that slowly turn back to bright green.
natasha’s heart is still pounding against her ribcage, but something feels…different.
“what did you just do?” natasha whispers in horror, but wanda smiles, her thumb still caressing natasha’s cheek like nothing even happened.
“you’re warm now.” wanda croaks out, and it’s then that natasha realizes why that warmth feels familiar.
it’s blood running through her veins. it’s heat trying to disperse itself over her body to keep her warm. it’s the thrum of her heart, the rush of blood to her head-
her stomach growling from starvation.
“wanda?” is all natasha manages to get out, there’s so much shock running through her right now as the scarlet witch smiles at her widely.
“my connection with the mind stone means i have a connection with the other infinity stones as well. they may be destroyed now, but their energy still exists. my powers, the mind stone’s amplification of them, it keeps me connected to the other stones: including the soul stone. and because i’m connected to the soul stone-.”
“you’re connected to vormir.” natasha breathes, still looking at the girl before in complete and utter awe.
“mmm, that day i used my magic to make contact with your energy, i saw things…like a message from vormir itself. a message on why it brought you here. it all didn’t become clear until i embraced my powers again. until i connected with the power of vormir that lives inside you.” wanda tells her, still smiling while natasha’s still trying to register what the fuck’s just happened.
“how…that man, he said nothing could raise the dead-.” natasha starts, but wanda suddenly looks at her with eyes that tell her something natasha can’t decipher.
“natasha, you have no idea, do you? how selfless it is to give up your own life to save billions of others.” she says, staring at her in disbelief while natasha shakes her head stupidly.
“anyone else would do it-.”
“but you’re the one that did. and you did it without hesitating, that’s bravery vormir saw as worthy to give you another chance. so it brought you to the one person who could bring you back.” wanda tells her, and finally, it all clicks.
“…you.” natasha whispers. wanda smiles, chuckling softly as she copies natasha from moments before and trails her index finger down natasha’s nose, ending with a tap to the point of it.
“it’s why you’re wearing the same clothes you did that night you came to my room when i had a nightmare. we connected…you made me feel safe. it was the first time i felt like maybe everything would be okay. and you made me feel that.” wanda tells her. natasha’s still baffled, trying to pick everything apart, but she’s so confused.
“wanda…god, i don’t even know what to say, am…am i alive again? i don’t understand-.” she tries to get out, but wanda coos softly, brushing a thumb over her brow to calm her.
“vormir brought you here. the planet’s energy rests within you, so part of the soul stone lives within you. it was just about reactivating that energy inside you to bring you here to this dimension, where you belong.” wanda says it so easily, and natasha feels dumb for not understanding as she scratches at her brow with a breathless laugh.
“god, this is…”
“shush…maybe some things don’t need to be understood. they can just be.” wanda says softly.
natasha doesn’t even know what to say, or do.
she just stares.
“could you do this all along? b-bring me back?” she manages to get out. wanda chuckles and simply shrugs.
“i wanted you to want it, natasha. you’ve spent your whole life being selfless, doing things to keep other people safe, even things that could break you. i wanted you to be selfish for once and stop sacrificing so much for everyone and everything else when you’ve already given up the one thing a truly selfless person could give: their life.”
natasha doesn’t even know why, but those words do it.
she’s sobbing before she can stop herself, crying openly, loudly, her mind spinning at a million miles an hour, but her body feeling so content as wanda wraps her arms around her and pulls her close.
“shh, it’s okay…”
is this really it?
is she really back now? is she finally free?
no more wars, no more fights, she gets to just live now?
she has no idea how long she’s crying in wanda’s arms for, the girl stroking her hair and peppering kisses across her hairline, and it isn’t long before natasha’s pulling back from where she’s burrowed herself into wanda’s neck, sniffing as she looks up at the brunette and does what she’s wanted to do for a very long time now.
she kisses her.
wanda’s lips are incredibly soft against hers, so unlike anything else natasha’s experienced from other men and even some women, this spark that floods her heart and warms her body even more than it already is.
wanda kisses her back, smiling against her lips as she grips her face, and natasha digs her fingers into wanda’s waist to pull her closer, this urgency she’s never felt before rushing through her.
she's wanted to do this for so long, she's taking wanda's advice. she's being selfish and doing what she wants and this is what she wants to do, dammit.
she wants to kiss wanda maximoff. she wants to spend this time she has, however long it may last, taking the plunge she didn't take the first time.
she wants to kiss wanda maximoff, and that's exactly what she's doing.
and god, does it feel good.
wanda pulls away first, the both of them just breathing each other in before wanda chuckles and looks at her with that adorable nose scrunch.
“what are you gonna do next?” she asks softly. natasha laughs despite herself.
“i think i’ve given up enough. i think it’s time i finally do what i want…maybe live some of that life tony kept telling me and steve to live all the time.” she decides easily, smiling as wanda grins at leans in to give her another quick kiss.
“well…i’m happy to help with that.”
—
“come on, fanny.” yelena grunts, the boat slowing down the closer it gets towards the edge of the lake as yelena squints to see a cabin ahead of her.
she glances down at the letter in her left hand once again, making sure the co-ordinates wanda sent her are correct before she looks at the gps in her right.
she’s definitely in the right place.
fanny whines as she huddles closer to yelena, shaking her whole body to rid herself of the water that’s hit her during their little boat journey to wherever the hell wanda is sending her, and yelena steers the boat to the edge of the lake where there’s a small dock and brings it to a complete halt the second she’s close enough.
she lifts fanny up onto the dock, grunting from her weight with a roll of her eyes and a huff of anger.
“remind me to strip bucky of babysitting rights. he’s feeding you too much.” yelena grumbles, strapping her backpack over her shoulder and hopping up onto the dock. fanny yips at her, tongue lolling out happily.
she makes her way off the dock, looking around at the trees and the mountains in the distance and close by, breathing in nothing but pure air, and she can’t help but think it’s beautiful, this calm settling over her that has her smiling.
is this where wanda’s holed up?
she knows she’s in the mountains on the edge of sokovia, but she’s never seen this place before. it’s beyond beautiful, and god, so peaceful…
she doesn’t call out, just keeps making her way towards the cabin, keeps looking around in awe as fanny trots along beside her-
a long whistle.
two pitch changes. one low, one high.
yelena spins around in shock, and she inhales sharply, her bottom lip trembling and her eyes welling with tears as she sees natasha romanoff appear at the front door of the cabin, leaning against the banister with a smile as she looks at yelena across the field.
yelena nods once at her before she whistles back.
two pitch changes. one high, one low.
she makes her way over to her sister, her legs carrying her quickly as natasha pushes herself off the door with a soft laugh.
“is the witch drawing me into your dimension again or something?” yelena calls out.
“or something!” natasha calls back with a grin.
“ah, well…i wish i could actually hug the real you instead of some alternate dimen-oof!”
the impact of natasha slamming into her has yelena stumbling back, and she blinks once in shock before she’s wrapping her arms around her sister, breathing in the scent of gunpowder and sugary perfume and something else that’s just her.
this feels different than last time.
this feels more real, natasha’s body warm against hers, wait, something’s different-
“h-how…how is this possible?” yelena sputters out, the tears falling before she can stop them as she pulls back at natasha’s soft laugh.
“wanda is one hell of a witch.” she smirks, looking back towards the cabin, where yelena sees wanda standing at the doorway, watching them with a grin and her eyes flashing with happiness.
“are you alive again? you f-feel real, i don’t understand-.”
“i’ve found it’s better not to question magic, it’ll just give you a headache.” natasha tells her, chuckling as yelena pauses before she shrugs and grabs natasha, pulling her close once more.
“noted.” natasha laughs, her hands rubbing up and down yelena’s back comfortingly before she suddenly makes a noise of excitement.
“hey, you’re wearing my vest!” she exclaims, pulling back with a grin as yelena holds a finger up to her with a noise of protest.
“ah! technically, it was my vest first, and secondly, it has too many pockets to give it up.” she huffs, straightening her vest with a grin while natasha laughs and tugs on the bottom of it playfully.
“huh…i left it in my apartment in new york, i’m pretty sure i left that place for wanda. you broke in?” she says scoldingly, and yelena grins proudly.
“i did, i thought maybe there’d be something there. turns out i was right.” she says, poking at natasha’s side as her sister slaps her hand away with a roll of her eyes.
“well, if anyone was gonna have it, i’d want it to be you.” she says with a soft smile. yelena blinks back more tears and sniffs just as fanny yaps loudly at her feet and looks up at them.
“ah, i got the dog i wanted! this is fanny!” yelena says with a grin as natasha kneels down and scratches fanny’s ears, her happy laughter peeling through the air as fanny licks her face.
“you named her ‘fanny’!?” natasha exclaims, giggling as fanny continues jumping at her while yelena shrugs.
“i went to that trailer in norway, found all those fake id’s, and ‘fanny longbottom’ stuck out to me.” she says easily, prompting natasha to roll her eyes at her.
“of all the fake id’s i had…” she shakes her head, kissing the top of fanny’s head before she stands, and yelena nods once at her.
“i told alexei and melina i got to say goodbye to you thanks to a certain little witch.” she says, grinning up at wanda, who rolls her eyes at them both.
“you must be family if you’re calling me that! natasha does it all the time!” she calls out. natasha looks back at her with a wide grin, and yelena shrugs as she grins and takes natasha’s hand, the both of them moving closer to the cabin.
“they didn’t understand how it was possible, melina was questioning it a lot, but they wanted me to tell you if i ever saw you again that they miss you, but they’re proud of you.” she tells natasha softly, squeezing her hand tightly as natasha pauses and takes a deep breath in.
yelena sighs as tears form in natasha’s eyes, devastation heavy in them, and she clenches her jaw as she squeezes yelena’s hand back just as hard.
“i wish i c-could’ve said a proper goodbye…it’s too dangerous for anyone else to know i’m back, they’ll come for wanda more than they already are.” natasha says roughly, looking up at the sokovian witch with sadness that wanda reiterates back before bowing her head guiltily.
“i understand. i want to keep her safe, too. you asked me to, and she brought back the one thing i’ve ever wanted, so…” yelena says firmly, reaching out to grip wanda’s hand to reassure her there’s no harm done.
the girl brought her sister back, yelena will lay down her goddamn life for her.
“thank you, both of you.” wanda says, squeezing yelena’s hand and looking to natasha with a smile that yelena knows immediately means much more than just friendship.
huh, would you look at that…
“i miss you, medovyy.” natasha says suddenly, leaning and tucking a piece of hair behind yelena’s ear. yelena grumbles and slaps her hand away, but she can’t help but smile, because she has her older sister back and right now she can’t fathom any other feeling but happiness.
“don’t be so mushy…i miss you, too, whatever…” she mumbles, grinning regardless as natasha laughs in a way yelena’s never heard her laugh before, even when they were kids.
it’s like the weight of the entire world has been lifted off her sister’s shoulders. she looks so much lighter, so much happier…
“so you’re staying here…does this mean you’re staying far away from the avengers?” yelena asks, hoping natasha will say yes, and the redhead looks out at the clearing around them on the front porch before she looks behind them at the mountains.
“i don’t know…it’s pretty cozy up here in the mountains, sokovia’s a beautiful place.” she smirks, looking back at wanda, who grins in agreement while yelena snorts and looks around them with slightly squinted eyes due to the sun.
“well, i can live with that. you deserve a nice retirement from being a superhero.” she says truthfully, nodding in agreement. natasha exhales loudly before she nods at yelena with a smirk once again.
“speaking of superheroes, how are you warming up to my old comrades?” she teases, and to her surprise, yelena groans with a roll of her eyes.
“ugh, good lord, please tell me you have vodka hiding somewhere in that cabin, wanda, because i have a lot to complain about! bucky and clint keep watching over me like annoying flies, and sam is all self righteous…” yelena trails off as she walks past wanda into the cabin, who laughs loudly and follows in after her while natasha grins at the sight just beyond the door, yelena sitting down at the table and gesturing loudly with her hands while wanda grabs a bottle of vodka from the fridge and looks to her with a smile.
natasha takes a moment, feels the wind on her face and laughs as she watches fanny chase some butterflies around the front lawn, and she looks out at the sun setting over the horizon, this warmth flooding her that she’s never felt before.
she soaks it in, closes her eyes and relaxes her shoulders, this tension unloading at the sound of yelena’s laughter and wanda’s soft giggles inside the cabin.
she’s free.
no more missions, no more death defying battles, no more of…anything.
she gets to just be.
she gets to live the life she’s always wanted…a peaceful one.
and even though she has no idea what the future holds for her, even though she doesn’t know if she’s even alive again or what she is in this world anymore, she finds herself not wanting to look for the answers.
right now, she just wants to spend the rest of her time with the people she cares about, the people she loves, the two people in that cabin waiting for her to join them.
and she finally gets to do that now.
what a life you've lived, natasha romanoff.
what a life you've lived.