Chapter Text
iron-can √
@tonystank
You Know Who I Am.
📍 Manhattan NY Joined March 2007
2389 Following 56.2M Followers
Stove Rogers √
@icedamericano
America’s Ass™
📍 Brooklyn Joined May 2013
171 Following 31.4M Followers
the b stands for baby √
@jbbarnes
I'm one of the idiots that slept for like 70 years
📍 hell probably Joined March 2013
327 Following 26.1M Followers
CAW CAW MF √
@arrowboi
avenger by day, bird by night
📍 the vents Joined October 2012
588 Following 19.7M Followers
mama spider √
@natashalie
talk shit, get stabbed
📍 wouldn't you like to know Joined February 2010
76 Following 22.3M Followers
Peggy √
@britbitch
i took a really long nap and I'm still tired
📍 in the past Joined June 2013
391 Following 15.8M Followers
baby spider √
@spiderman
it's wednesday my dudes 🕸
📍 QUEENS NY Joined March 2017
347 Following 18.9M Followers
Pep √
@saltandpepper
CEO of Stark Industries and tired of this shit
📍 Manhattan NY Joined April 2007
499 Following 12.5M Followers
bi-disaster
@peterparkour
it was probably my fault 🤷♀️ he/him
📍 Queens NY Joined August 2015
1786 Following 2098 Followers
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
@potatoboi
welcome, gays, gals and my non-binary pals - he/him
📍 Tennessee Whiskey Joined December 2015
3086 Following 1009 Followers
mj
@thebiggay
GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS - she/they
📍 march for our lives Joined November 2014
242 Following 977 Followers
your local lesbian √
@shurimissouri
real-life disney princess she/her
📍 area 51 Joined May 2016
438 Following 7.2M Followers
GITC
@nedleeds
I'm not like any other girls - he/him
📍 my head Joined August 2015
4227 Following 803 Followers
Sammy Wilson √
@falcon
the better bird avenger
📍 on your above Joined October 2014
155 Following 10.6M Followers
Bruce Banner √
@bruciebear
hulk says hi
📍 New York, New York Joined October 2013
346 Following 8.4M Followers
rhodey √
@whoremachine
Tony Starks permanent babysitter
📍 Washington DC Joined June 2009
721 Following 19M Followers
wanda maximoff √
@witchybitch
hi world!
📍 wonderland Joined November 2016
999 Following 18M Followers
i'm the better twin √
@pietromaxi
i'm basically sonic the hedgehog
📍 pepsi max headquarters Joined November 2016
657 Following 16M Followers
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 2: steve rogers is a little shit as told by spidey
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check out my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter Text
baby spider @spiderman
Hi guys! I got twitter because mr stank told me not to!
> spider-man saved me once! @sp1derfan101
is this another fake?
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
@spiderman Peppers gonna kill you kiddy
>> baby spider @spiderman
oh fuck
>>> mama spider @natashalie
@spiderman careful, @icedamericano doesn't like that kind of talk
>>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Fucker. It was one time!
>> spider-man saved me once! @sp1derfan101
oh my god, it's actually spidey!
Pep @saltandpepper
@spiderman Really spidey? A little warning next time maybe?
> baby spider @spiderman
sorry, peppy :( can I please keep it though?
Pep @saltandpepper
@tonystank He's pulled out the puppy eyes, hasn't he?
>> iron-can @tonystank
yep
>>> Pep @saltandpepper
shit
Pep @saltandpepper
@spiderman Fine, you can keep it.
>> baby spider @spiderman
YES!!!!
Ellissssss @ironqueen
omg!!!!!! spidey got twitter!!! my life is complete!
> what the fuck richard @johnnyboo
omfg what?!
lunamoon @sp1d3r_man
Pepper Potts being soft for spider-man? DEAD!!!! #spideytwitter
BuzzFeed @Buzzfeed
Queens favourite hero Spider-Man arrives on Twitter and we are loving it!!! 🕷🕸 #spideytwitter (https://www.buzzfeed.com/spi...)
Bobby @spideyfan
Is spidey like quite young or something? Bucky called him kiddy. It gave me smol vibes #spideytwitter
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
can confirm that spidey's a smol bean as he is short as hell
>> baby spider @spiderman
hey! I'm like an inch shorter than you!
baby spider @spiderman
does anyone want to hear some embarrassing stories about the avengers aka the little shits that live in the tower?
> KAI @kaikelly
Yes!! Omg!
> Stucky fannnn @wwllslut
tell us some stuff about Steve and Bucky!!
baby spider @spiderman
steve and bucky? hmm... well I can tell you that Bucky might have this tough bad boy exterior when he's on missions and out in public but he's literally the softest person ever istg, like he bakes for fun and he has fairy lights all around his room! it's adorable really
>> baby spider @spiderman
but Steve. STEVE IS A LITTLE SHIT! okay so tony was telling me about when the avengers starting living together in avengers tower (so bruce, natasha, clint, tony, steve, bucky & pegs (thor was on Asgard)) and how Steve was constantly asking everyone for help with like all the technology and shit right. Anyways turns out! That Steve was literally fucking with everyone the entire time and no one knew except for pegs and buck.
>>> baby spider @spiderman
like he's best friends with JARVIS now and he's an actual expert with the new tech and everything. its impressive really. but he used to purposely play dumb when tony would explain stuff and it sounded so funny when tony told me. He was not impressed LMAO
>>>> baby spider @spiderman
everyone expects Steve to be all like, serious and responsible when he's literally a 5 year old and will not hesitate to slap a bitch
Stucky fannnn @wwllslut
@spiderman THANK YOU!!!!
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
@spiderman This is absolute gold Spidey
> baby spider @spiderman
@witchybitch love you wandy!
>> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
@spiderman love you too spiderbaby!
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Damn. Spider-Kid really woke up today and chose to expose us huh (and fairy lights are calming okay?!)
> baby spider @spiderman
you still love me uncle bucky
>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
@spiderman that doesn't work on me bitch
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
he's lying [picture of bucky on the couch next to Steve with his eye's watering]
Trending:
#strangerthings3
#spideytwitter
#iphoneXS
#bohemianrhapsody
Chapter 3: peter's got some ass
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter Text
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
some of ya'll have never been turned into a popsicle before and it really shows :P
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
@jbbarnes is still a child confirmed. It's adorable. [image of Bucky sitting on the floor in the middle of a circle of lego pieces, with an avengers tower lego set half done in front of him. He's wearing an oversized pink jumper with the hood up and has a dimply smile on his face]
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Update: Bucky got up to get a plum and he stood on a stray lego. He's crying now.
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Word of advice: do not step on a lego. It's worse than losing an arm. Trust me I would know.
mama spider @natashalie
hypocrite [image of Steve now on the floor next to Bucky, colour coordinating the lego pieces. He's wearing purple bunny slippers and iron man trousers]
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
traitor 😑
bi-disaster @peterparkour
I've come to the relatively easy decision in which I'm dropping out and becoming a male stripper.
> GITC @nedleeds
mood
> mj @thebiggay
Well, you'll get tips easy, that ass would make good money
>> bi-disaster @peterparkour
fkjdknxjnwephjbd MJ!
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
well she ain't wrong babe 🥵
> > GITC @nedleeds
Harley being horny on main
> iron-can @tonystank
i don't need to see you guys tweeting about Pete's behind thank you very much
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
then remove yourself old man
> iron-can @tonystank
watch who you're calling old you little shit
blegh @flashthompson
@peterparkour did ironman just fucking reply to your tweet?!
> bi-disaster @peterparkour
um no?
69 heh @melinaplause
who the hell are these kids?
Fox News @Foxnews
Stark's illegitimate children? Read the article linked to see new Tony Stark tweets and our theories as to who these mysterious children are. (https://foxnews.com/...)
i can't think straight @iwonderwhy
that gen z humour lmao. Who are they????
The Daily Bugle @tdbugle
Tony Stark interacts with homosexual teen on Twitter. Charity case, or PR stunt? (https://the.daily.bugle/NY/...)
> Rachel 🤩✨ @rachelmonique
oh my god fuck off! Nobody reads your articles anyway!
>> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
amen sister
Peggy @britbitch
If I have to chase off some asshole perv on my morning run one more time I'm locking myself in a god damn freezer
> mama spider @natashalie
tuck a knife in your sports bra, that'll scare them off easy
>> Pep @saltandpepper
Pro-tip. Illegal, but still a pro-tip.
Trending:
#tonystark
#spideytwitter
#stoneman
#strangerthings3
Chapter Text
jojo joey @joannehunt
YA'LL I JUST SAW SPIDEY'S FACE!!!!! They need to find a better place to change outta their suit fr (and no. I'm not gonna tell you who they are)
> mj @thebiggay
@spiderman literally what did I tell you? 😐
>> baby spider @spiderman
oh shit
>>> iron-can @tonystank
@spiderman seriously kid? again? this is literally the tenth person to see you do this
>>>> baby spider @spiderman
@tonystank sorry irondad :(
CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
why is Tony crying?
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
oohhhh i see
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
@tonystank loser
>>Iron-can @tonystank
@icedamericano asshole, you literally cried when he called you uncle steve
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I Came Here To Have A Good Time And I'm Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now.
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
i taught you well i see
>> Iron-can @tonystank
@shurimissouri you taught him TOO well
>>> mj @thebiggay
*cue evil laughter*
Fox News @Foxnews
Is Spiderman Tony Starks child? Did Tony give Spiderman his abilities? Find out more here: (https://foxnews.com/twi...)
> blegh @flashthompson
Spider-Man has a hyphen, idiot 🙄🙄
Pep @saltandpepper
@spiderman @tonystank If you guys are going to break Twitter PLEASE LET ME KNOW FIRST
> baby spider @spiderman
@saltandpepper sorry mama pep :(
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Heh, Pepper's crying
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
oh shijdnwkkfjajnfj
mama spider @natashalie
Pepper killed Bucky. Such a shame, really.
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Wow. Thanks for the sympathy Nat, glad to see that we're still friends. Also, Pepper is terrifying FEAR HER
>> Pep @saltandpepper
@jbbarnes Thank you for the compliment!
>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
>>>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
@jbbarnes LMAOOOOO me too man, me too
bi-disaster @peterparkour
people be like: "why are you bisexual"
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
is that a reason or an example
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
yes
Trending:
#Irondad
#Avengers
#Harlimattacks
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 5: steve rogers is not perfect
Notes:
WARNINGS/Mentioned depression & anxiety, mentioned dysphoria, slurs (but not very graphic, it's like once)/
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
bi-disaster @peterparkour
body dysphoria is a bitch 😒
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
yeah, It fucking sucks kid. I know some cuddles and a movie usually help me out a little, Me and Nat have Mean Girls going if you wanna come watch it with us.
>> bi-disaster @peterparkour
yeah okay, thanks, Uncle Steve :)
>>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
I'm coming tooooo!!!
>>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
wait for me!
iron-can @tonystank
Wish I got home earlier, they look pretty comfy huh? [picture of Steve, Peter and Nat cuddled together asleep on the massive couch, Natasha's reading glasses are squashed on her face and Peter's curles are puffed up in every direction. Steves arm is wrapped around Peter and Natasha protectively. Harley and Bucky are laughing at something on Harley's phone on the other end of the couch. They're all covered in a mountain of blankets]
> GEMINI ♊ @emiliasbastard
Mr Stark? Who the hell are those kids? You guys talk to them online all the time???
iron-can @tonystank
@saltandpepper gave me permission to tell you guys that both Peter (the one with Steve) and Harley (the one with Bucky) are my personal interns and that they are literal geniuses. Probably smarter than me. (her words)
> iron-can @tonystank
And let me tell you all, that these kids (MINORS YOU VULTURES) are the light's of my life so if any you assholes decide to find out where they live, and where they go to school etc, the Avengers and I WILL NOT hesitate to ruin your lives.
raven @sadlolita
@icedamericano you can't say you understand body dysphoria when you don't have it. 🙄
> Peggy @britbitch
Are you fucking kidding me?
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
@sadlolita You don't know shit????
>> ew @pukeinmyboots
@jbbarnes He's Captain America? He can't have body dysphoria he's literally physically and mentally perfect.
>> Harrison @harrymcdonald
He's got nothing to cry over
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
@saltandpepper Sorry in advance.
> Pep @saltandpepper
Nope, go right ahead.
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
@sadlolita @everyone So, it has come to my attention that people think I'm 'perfect' or something. Well, sorry to break it to you all, but I'm fucking not. I'm a WW2 veteran, with severe PTSD and MDD, surviver's guilt, anxiety and my whole body is covered in different scars from the war and now.
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I wake up nearly every night from terrifying nightmares that I can never fall back to sleep after. I have stretch marks all over my shoulders, thighs and stomach from the transformation when I got the serum. And it was the most painful thing I've ever felt, I still feel my body stretching and growing.
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I'm a bisexual, transgender man who grew up in the fucking '30s. I'm not ashamed of it. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard. I hate my body sometimes. Sometimes I get confused and frightened when I see in the mirror that I'm no longer a short, sickly girl anymore. I've still got the scars from my top and bottom surgery. The serum didn't take them away. And most of the time I'm thankful but sometimes I'm not.
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
So yeah. I have body dysphoria and I have a shit load of other issues too. I'm not perfect. The serum doesn't make me perfect. The Captain America mantel doesn't make me perfect. I'm a human being and if you all don't want to treat me as such then you can kindly fuck off. Thank you. I'm done.
> iron-can @tonystank
Proud of you Steve ❤❤❤
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
I love you Stevie, and i'm so proud of you.
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
Good on you, brother. We love you, and this will not only help you but so many other people as well.
> Make America Great Again @jrdmornington
We cannot have a faggot protecting this country. #FORAMERICA #ANTICAP
> Proud mother of four @rebeccamoore
There are children on this app. You should not be saying this.
> Penelope @reecesstars
YES!!! Thank you for this! WE LOVE YOU! #ILYCAP #LGBT
>> AVENGERS FAN PAGE 💥💥@stucky1010
Bucky's reply uuhhhhh #stucky #ILYCAP #LBGT
Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical
BREAKING NEWS Captain America comes out as BISEXUAL and TRANSGENDER on Twitter, in response to misleading assumptions. (https://edition.cnn.com/)
The Daily Bugle @tdbugle
Captain America comes out as LGBT on Twitter. Is he still able to protect our country? (https://the.daily.bugle/NY/)
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
Literally, shut up you irrelevant spoon
The New York Times @nytimes
Steve Rogers comes out as part of the LBGTQ+ community. Causes controversy all over the world. New hashtags arise... (https://www.nytimes.com/)
Fox News @Foxnews
Captain America? We think not. Steve Rogers comes out as transgender on Twitter. How can a former woman lead our country? (https://www.foxnews.com/)
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
Oh get fucked, seriously. You're full of shit.
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
Steve Rogers just came out as Bisexual and Transgender on Twitter, and the impact on the LBGTQIA+ community has been amazing!! You go Cap! #LGBTCAP (https://www.buzzfeed.com/US)
Trending:
#LGBTCAP
#CaptainAmerica
#ILYCAP
#Stucky
#Anticap
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 6: who broke it?
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter Text
E! News @enews
Some of the Avengers have been spotted out and about in Manhattan today and let's just say that we are LOVING their looks!
> rebe ❤ @multiflowr
Oh, to be a gorgeous, badass superhero
> nina potter @pottern
not me manifesting a superhero girlfriend in my next life
Sammy Wilson @falcon
I'd like to let everyone know that I dressed Peg's today and that I deserve a medal because she looks a STUNNING
>> Sammy Wilson @falcon
But then again, she always looks beautiful so I guess a medal isn't needed
> mama spider @natashalie
nice save Wilson
> Peggy @britbitch
Damn right I look good. But I love you. Thank you.
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
Man, you are WHIPPED @falcon
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
like you can talk. I swear, your eyes turn into literal hearts when Nat walks into the room 🙄
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
bitch
>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
whore
>>>> Bruce Banner @bruciebear
Jesus, Buck and Clint, shut up you're both as bad as each other
People @people
James Barnes apparently has a girlfriend according to Bruce Banner's (AKA the Hulk's) new tweet yesterday! Who do you think it is? (https://people.com/...)
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
who says it's a girl?
Hot celeb news! @pagesix
Did a SECOND Avenger just come out publicly on Twitter? Bucky Barnes replies to a tweet made by People Magazine, stating that his rumoured partner isn't necessarily a girl. See more on our website. (https://pagesix.com/)
problem child @KYLEBYERS
THIS IS AWESOME (if its true) Steves coming out gave me the courage to come out to my own family. :) And this just proves that no matter your orientation, sexuality etc, you're still capable of doing anything and everything!
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
oh, this makes me really happy. I hope it all went well!
>> problem child @KYLEBYERS
It did thank you, Steve!
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
No problem buddy, congrats.
Penelope @reecesstars
Okay, so to recap: Steve is trans and bi, Shuri's a confirmed lesbian (like her bio???) Bucky's rumoured to have a SO of any gender, Natasha and Clint are together which we know from ages ago when Tony accidently spilled the beans (lmao that was so funny, I swear he died) Sam and Peggy are together, there's that group of kids, (Peter, MJ, Ned and Harley?) who all seem to be LGBT too!
> Penelope @reecesstars
So anyway, we stan LBGT+ Avengers!!
> poppy 😽 @popcornpop
My skin is clear, my crops are watered and my grades are perfect
> Ellissssss @ironqueen
This is news we didn't know we needed but wouldn't trade for anything
iron-can @tonystank
[picture of broken coffee machine]
so... who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
I did. I broke it
>> iron-can @tonystank
No you didn't. Bucky? @jbbarnes
>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Bitch don't look at me, look at Clint. @arrowboi
>>>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
What??? I didn't break it.
>>>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
>>>>>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
Because there is a picture right there of it broken!!!!
>>>>>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Suspicious 🤨
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
If it matters - probably not - but Peggy was the last one to use it.
>> Peggy @britbitch
Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Oh really? Then what were doing by the coffee machine earlier huh?
>>>> Peggy @britbitch
Everyone knows that I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles Steve!
iron-can @tonystank
WHO BROKE IT??????
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
Tony...Bruce has been awfully quiet.
>> Bruce Banner @bruciebear
REALLY??
>>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
Yeah! Really!
>>>> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
oh my god
mama spider @natashalie
[blocks all of the avengers]
I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each others throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
> Pep @saltandpepper
I hear screaming.
>> mama spider @natashalie
Good, it was getting a little chummy over here.
iron-can @tonystank
NAT YOU FUCKER!!!
> mama spider @natashalie
oop gotta blast
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
BAHAHAHA THIS IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN ON TWITTER
>>> baby spider @spiderman
I'm dying, Nat you evil mastermind! Teach me your ways.
fuck this shit @rickityrick
Oh my gods they are literal children. These are the people protecting the world LMAOO #childvengers
melissa melay @mellon
I'm in love with them #childvengers
Trending:
#childvengers
#StarkIndustries
#greenenergy
#uselection
Chapter 7: PETS
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter Text
baby spider @spiderman
Some really nice elderly lady bought me a churro and now I'm really happy
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
you're so wholesome
>> GITC @nedleeds
it's adorable really.
>>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
big baby energy
>>>> mj @thebiggay
do ya'll remember that time spidey came back to the tower after finding that box of puppies and they were that cute he couldn't stop crying for hours
>>>>> baby spider @spiderman
THEY WERE ADORABLE OKAY??? AND THEY WERE SHIVERING FROM THE RAIN. Someone left them just on the street! It was cruel!
>>>>>> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
Wait how did I not know about this?! We could've convinced Tony to keep one! @peterparkour could've used his puppy eyes on him. It would've worked!
>>>>>>> bi-disaster @peterparkour
oh shit! we totally should've. damn it. wait.
bi-disaster @peterparkour
@tonystank can we get a dog, please?
> iron-can @tonystank
No.
>> bi-disaster @peterparkour
Pretty please?
>>> iron-can @tonystank
...NO!
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Peter, the little shit, has come into the common room and is using his puppy eyes on Tony.
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
oh shit I think he's gonna cave.
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
should I get a cat? @natashalie we should both get cats and they can be besties
>> mama spider @natashalie
I already have a cat. Her names Liho.
>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
WHAT????
>>>> mama spider @natashalie
Yeah??
>>>>> iron-can @tonystank
How did I not know about this? JARVIS?
> mama spider @natashalie
JARVIS and I have a pact. And Pepper knows so? And Clint, Peggy, MJ, Shuri & Wanda
>> iron-can @tonystank
Pepper you traitor.
bi-disaster @peterparkour
TONY SAID YES
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
FUCK YEAHH
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
@tonystank I'm getting a dog too then.
>> iron-can @tonystank
Wha? NO!
>>> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
too late, Steve and Bucky have already left the building lmao
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
Whelp, Peter and Harley are gone too. You're doomed Tony.
>> iron-can @tonystank
Shit, why did i agree to this.
> rhodey @whoremachine
Who the fuck knows Tones.
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
okay, me and Stevie are at a shelter. I think Pete and Harley are here too but who knows. #animalshelter ALWAYS RESCUE YOUR PETS
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
I think Steve has fallen in love with this dog.
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!!! #animalshelter
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
I found a cat :)))) I let him out and he's just trotting around.
CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
I have a dog called Lucky. He's blind in one eye. He doesn't live here though.
> eddie cakes @edwardbaker
Where does he live? Do you have a photo?!
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
He lives with my friend Kate :)
>>> eddie cakes @edwardbaker
AHH SO CUTE!!!
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
okay so, update. I got the white cat and Stevie got the doggy. I'm calling the kitty Alpine :)
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Doggy's name is Dodger! (He's so cuddly)
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
oh my god I'm coming up to your floor!!
>> mama spider @natashalie
I'm coming up with Liho
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
meet milly 😍😊
> bi-disaster @peterparkour
And Tessa!
>> baby spider @spiderman
They're so cute WTF
mj @thebiggay
> bi-disaster @peterparkour
naw, i miss nora so much!!!
>> mj @thebiggay
me and ned are coming over - I'm bringing Nora
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
they're besties now 🥰🥰 #lihoandalpine
corezy @coreypallet
love how the Avengers just decide to have a pet day on the spot
Trending:
#lihoandalpine
#animalshelter
#childvengers
#uselection
Chapter Text
Stove Rogers √
@icedamericano
America’s Ass™ 🌈🌈
📍 Brooklyn Joined May 2013
171 Following 33.6M Followers
beter-barker 🌈
@peterparkour
Tony Stanks Personal Intern/Non-Offical Son - he/him
📍 Queens NY Joined August 2015
1786 Following 1.2M Followers
MJ
@thebiggay
how the fuck did this happen - she/they
📍 march for our lives Joined November 2014
242 Following 966K Followers
wanda maximoff √
@witchybitch
hi world!
📍 wonderland Joined November 2016
999 Following 19.1M Followers
i'm the better twin √
@pietromaxi
i'm basically sonic the hedgehog
📍 pepsi max headquarters Joined November 2016
657 Following 16.9M Followers
GITC
@nedward
I'm not like any other girls - he/him
📍 my head Joined August 2015
4227 Following 897K Followers
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
@potatoboi
welcome, gays, gals and my non-binary pals - he/him
📍 Tennessee Whiskey Joined December 2015
3086 Following 1.1M Followers
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 9: a meme interlude
Notes:
all of this shit is inspired by posts I found on Pinterest!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
LUCY @lucyloo
why have a boyfriend when you can have a really hot superhero who is twice your age, lives on the other side of the world and has no clue you exist?
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
OH MY GOD GEN Z's LETS DO A MEME THREAD
Me, Peter, Harley, MJ and Ned: recreating vines and doing tik toks and trashing the whole tower
Tony:
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
me in my bed at 3am when the pile of clothes in the corner of the room starts looking like a person:
> iron-can @tonystank
what the fuck
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Not a gen z but who cares:
Me: I've always been a tough person.
Friend: *slightly raises their voice at me*
Me:
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
WHY DOES STEBE LOOK LIKE THAT OML
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
spell my name right then judge me, bitch
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
Spider: [dissapears in my room]
Me: [feels something crawling up my leg]
Me:
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
LMFAOOOO
> baby spider @spiderman
i feel like this is a jab at me.
i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
So,
You wanna be a god
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
😒😐
baby spider @spiderman
Me: [sneaking around the kitchen at 3am]
Tony: [turn's on the lights]
Me:
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
lmao is that me??
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
My grandmother at our family reunion: *All homosexuals are going hell blah blah*
Me, the gayest fucking person you'll ever meet:
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
BAHAHAHAHAHA
GITC @nedward
Me: [tells my parents a harmless joke]
My parents: [yell and lecture me for an hour]
Me:
MJ @thebiggay
When you're happy to finally be home and then your parents immediately start yelling at you for no reason.
> gayvengers @vengeful
i'm dying from these 😭😂😂
moonmoon @cinderindy
When your uber driver picked you up five minutes ago and you get a text saying that your uber just arrived.
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
Cindy PLS😭
your local lesbian @shurimissouri
When you're having fun with your friends and then they all randomly decide to roast you.
> GITC @nedward
so true 😂😅
blegh @flashthompson
When you let your friend try and unlock your phone and they almost get the password right on the first try.
> MJ @thebiggay
you could do better.
MSSC @BETTYBRANT
My mom: you can always trust me.
Also my mom: [tells the entire family my secrets]
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
how long did this take you? 😂
>> MSSC @BETTYBRANT
Michelle made it so no time at all 😁
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
Spider-Man: runs out of web fluid mid-swing:
Spider-Man:
> maddy @madalinesmith
oh my god this is fucking hilarious
rhodey @whoremachine
I- ya'll are weird
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Rhodey when Tony does something stupid again:
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
I'm so proud 😭
baby spider @spiderman
just thought i'd throw this in here for no reason other than to annoy mr stark
> iron-can @tonystank
I'm gonna get you, you little brat
>> baby spider @spiderman
try me bitch
curry mitch @mitchellemurry
#childvengers #memevengers
Trending:
#memevengers
#starkindustries
#childvengers
#harlimattacks
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 10: Bucky has a new game
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter Text
shaylie @shaybae
So, I had this dream last night where I worked at Starbucks and Steve Rogers walked in and ordered an iced americano and then when it was ready I called out 'an iced americano for the iced americano' and I woke myself up from laughing too hard at my own joke.
> mollie @mollieringwaldy
Shay lmfao
> Peggy @britbitch
Oh my god, this made my day.
> rhodey @whoremachine
LOL @icedamericano has this ever actually happened to you?
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Yep, had a fan interaction exactly like this actually, it was what inspired my Twitter handle.
> Peggy @britbitch
Oh wow lol, that's perfect.
The Avengers @avengers
Hey, Bucky here! So, I've decided to start a new game on this account where any of the Avengers and co, can log on and share some entertaining things that we've overheard/seen of each other, could be the most random thing ever who cares! Anyway, I'm going to post one today...
> The Avengers @avengers
here's a conversation me and Sammy got to witness the other week:
in the common room kitchen:
Thor walks in: hey guys, what's a THOT? Stark just said to me "Begon-ith THOT!"
Peter P: [opens his mouth to answer but is interrupted]
Loki: it stands for That Hero Over There. You say it when you're really proud of someone.
Thor: really? DID YOU HEAR THAT NEW YORK? I'M A TRUE THOT!
Loki: [wheezing behind their book]
Peter: [fucking dies]
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
Oh my god, Thor looked so confused when we started laughing
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
I felt TERRIBLE
>> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
Loki sure didn't.
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
Don't worry guys!!! We told them what it actually meant.
>> MJ @thebiggay
Yeah, and then Thor almost threw Loki out the window.
> iron-can @tonystank
Would that really have been so bad?
>> GITC @nedward
Yes Mr Stark! Loki is awesome!
> fifi @fionawilliams
....Didn't he try to take over New York?
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
THEY WERE MIND CONTROLLED
>> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
THEY WERE MIND CONTROLLED
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
@peterparkour bitch you beat me by a second.
>> MJ @thebiggay
They were mind controlled. I feel like this conversation has been had with the public before.
> Peggy @britbitch
Loki said you guys don't need to defend them :)
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
LOKIS HERE???!!
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
IS LOKI HERE??
>> your local lesbian @shuri
LOkI'S HeRe!
>> GITC @nedward
LOKI'S HERE?
>>> iron-can @tonystank
Oh my god, why are ya'll so obsessed with them?
> Brian @burntsmug
Them?
>> mama spider @natashalie
In Asgard, gender and sexuality arent as defined as they are here. With our terms, Thor identifies as non-binary, Loki identifies as genderfluid and both of them identify as pansexual. Thor prefers he/him pronouns, and Loki prefers they/them unless stated otherwise.
> mama spider @natashalie
And yes, i got both of their permission to tell you this.
St ove Rogers @icedamericano
RIP the PR Team and Pepper Potts.
> Pep @saltandpepper
Amen.
luke bornes @leadinggrace
WE GAYS KEEPING WINNING
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
#Queervengers
> iron-can @tonystank
rt
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
rt
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
rt
> Peggy @britbitch
rt
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
rt
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
rt
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
rt
> rhodey @whoremachine
rt
> mama spider @natashalie
rt
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
rt
BBC News (World) @BBCWorld
Twitter back up after crashing due to viral tweets addressing Loki and Avenger, Thor's newly revealed sexuality and Gender identity!
Claire @fallenbabe
Have i died and gone to heaven?
pls god help us all @alphapinky
jdhnikafhbbdhfbksdjcshj THIS IS THE BEST TIMELINEEEEE
> new york babe @spidertips
I KNOWWWWWW
science nerdd @papayaaa
i can't believe this real
BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
Error 101 Buzzfeed has stopped working.
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Why are you guys such a mood?
Hot celeb news! @pagesix
Avenger Thor and his sibling Loki, have both been revealed to be part of the LGBT+ Community! (https://www.tmz.com)
People @people
A new leaf has been turned for the LGBTQIA+ Community, after even more of the Avengers come out! (https://people.com)
The Daily Bugle @tdbugle
Some more disappointing news for New York today. Are we really safe? (https://the.daily.bugle/NY/)
> blegh @flashthompson
Get this bitch off the monitor 🤮🤮🤮
>> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
@flashthompson amen to that
Dylan Reeves @dylree03
theirs no hope for this country.
> MJ @thebiggay
Learn to spell bitch
stressed and depressed @captmarvelfannn
This is such an amazing thing to wake up to!
Trending:
#queervengers
#thor
#loki
#memevengers
#starkindustries
Chapter 11: bruises = demons
Notes:
Hi, lol i am so sorry for taking so long to update this but I have had so much freaken school work its not even funny ARGH
Anyways, enjoy this piece of crap :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Avengers @avengers
Hello, Ned Leeds here: thought id share this hilarious conversation from last night.
Peter, a Gen Z kid, fucks up his homework: Fuck, guess I'll kill myself.
Some of the Avengers: oh honey, its okay-
Steve, an artist during the 30's and a soldier during WW2 who knows full well what dadaism and fatalistic humour are: There's bleach under the sink-
Bucky, the guy who listened to Steve's art rants i the 30's, was also in WW2 and has frankly dealt with a lot of shit: -and a rope in the supply closet if you want options.
The rest of the Avengers: !!!!!!??????!!!!!!
MJ, also a Gen Z kid: don't be a coward, jump out the window.
Vision, the human internet: do a flip.
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
ah yes, Gen Z humour at its finest
> iRiDoCyCliTis @cammymel
to find out that Captain America and the winter soldier know and use fatalistic humour is just... all-inspiring and beautiful
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
everyone's fucking faces when it happened oh my god PRICELESS
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
it was pretty god damn funny
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
dw they ended up helping me do my (history) homework : D
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
does anyone else wake up and just have random bruises on their legs, or is that just me?
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
I thought it was just me! it's so fkn weird huh
> need an advil? @sallyavril
at this point I'm confident there's a demon trying to grab my legs and kidnap me whilst I'm sleeping
>> MJ @thebiggay
ah yes, I blame the bruises on my paralysis demon; Kyle
> moonmoon @cinderindy
the ultimate proof that paralysis demons are REAL
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
i named mine bernie
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
b-bernie sanders?
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
imagine waking up and you can't move and Bernie Sanders is just sitting there in the fucking corner 👀
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
okay...but this would be WAY WORSE to wake up to
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
thank you, Clinton, for ruining my feed
>> Sammy Wilson @falcon
xakjsdfkjga CLINTON
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY NAME PIGEON
>> Sammy Wilson @falcon
I DO WHAT I WANT HAWKASS, GO SLEEP IN YOUR BIRDS NEST AND EAT A WORM
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
well isn't the tea fine this morning
baby spider @spiderman
> when life @givesyoulemons
are you okay there spidey?
> depresso @express0
fucking mood
> GITC @nedward
what is wrong my child?
baby spider @spiderman
I HATE MOST OF THE AVENGERS! Those who I don't, you know who you are and I still love you.
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
love you back!
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
WE'RE SORRY!
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
i regret my actions, I'm sorry spider-baby
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
i would like to formally apologise
> iron-can @tonystank
i think we should hide
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
fuck i agree with Tony for once
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
lmao you're all fucked (love you too kid)
> mama spider @natashalie
love you, detenysh pauka
> corrine @upallnight
what did they do???
baby spider @spiderman
THEY LITERALLY TURNED MY WHOLE ROOM UPSIDE FUCKING DOWN AND THEY ATE MY PIZZA AND THAI FOOD
> Bruce Banner @bruciebear
When he says upside down, he means upside down. Literally, everything Is on the ceiling and even I have no idea how they did it.
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
they had tony's help, that's how
>> Bruce Banner @bruciebear
touché
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
THEY ATE YOUR PIZZA? THE BLASPHEMY!
>> baby spider @spiderman
I KNOW RIGHT?
> rhodey @whoremachine
but...it just looked so delicious
> baby spider @spiderman
I am going to feed you all to the spiders.
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
...he used full punctuation FUCGjhasabdhdbe
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
whelp, there's the first scream
> Bruce Banner @bruciebear
Ah, and there's the second.
>> mama spider @natashalie
that one was definatly high pitched enough to be Clint
>>> Pep @saltandpepper
And there goes Tony. 👋
>>>> Peggy @britbitch
he's really offing them one by one huh
>>>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I just watched him drag Sam out of the common room by his feet. It was quite entertaining really.
baby spider @spiderman
I'm satisfied now : )
stiles is my bby @lucillest
spidey really went:
i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
@spiderman this you?
> baby spider @spiderman
Ah, I see I forgot one.
>> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
NO IM SORRY WAIAJFNSHFJBD
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
less testosterone around the tower i guess
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
dbkjndnjdndbawhd
Charles @celerymurphy
not 2 be corny but, sometimes I think my purpose on this earth is to love people, make them laugh, be kind and share joy and that feels like enough to me sometimes.
> MJ @thebiggay
I'm here to maim and kill, but your thing sounds nice too.
>> ABE @acebrown
kinda scared but what's new
MJ @thebiggay
We have an acadec meeting after school today. None of you forget or I'll hunt. you. down.
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
i won't be late i swear
> GITC @nedward
of course m'lady
> blegh @flashthompson
slightly terrified but yes
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
see you then :)
> ABE @acebrown
y-yes ma'am
> charles @celerymurphy
of course my dear captain
> need an advil? @sallyavril
YES MA'AM YES
> moonmoon @cinderindy
your local lesbian @shurimissouri
when she hot when she scary
> MJ @thebiggay
😳😳😳
rip one direction @milestriten
are we just going to ignore the fact that spidey might've just unalived most of the Avengers??
the world sucks @deadstare
hope the other avengers are doin okay lmao
i am @notokay
i would do the same if someone ate my pizza #nojudgementhere
you look rusty @sophialuna
Peters friends being completely afraid of MJ is honestly so funny to me
TRENDING:
#spiderman
#queervengers
#starkcleanenergy
#SAVENITRA
#nojudgementhere
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check out my other fic! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 12: acadec team r friendship goals
Summary:
Okay, enjoy a completely random chapter of the acadec team being friendship goals through tweets over the timeline and them being aesthetically pleasing af
Notes:
totally not an excuse to share all the cute shit I found on Pinterest...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
@cinderindy we cool
> moonmoon @cinderindy
yes yes we very cool
blegh @flashthompson
@peterparkour look what I fuckin found lmao
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
FUCK OFFFF😭
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
ya'll remeber how many times we almsot died that day?
t
> ABE @acebrown
we are NEVER letting Betty drive again.
> charles @celerymurphy
I swear we almost crashed like ten times
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
I told you guys i couldn't drive but you insisted!!!
need an advil? @sallyavril
@thebiggay ddkjbdkfbdh what were we on
> MJ @thebiggay
seriously, I have no memory of this happening. its crazy
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
lmao dorks
> GITC @nedward
i think we all have an obsession with sheet ghosts fr:
> iron-can @tonystank
that's Peter with the Capri Sun isn't it
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
shut up STANK
>>> iron-can @tonystank
little shit
> blegh @flashthompson
I'm still trying to figure out how we have so many fucking white sheets
> ABE @acebrown
i have so many more of these pics stashed away on my phone lmao
moonmoon @cinderindy
you ain't so bad @flashthompson :D
> blegh @flashthompson
back at you moon
GITC @nedward
besties
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
forever bb
MSST @BETTYBRANT
@peterparkour ah, sunglassè
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
ily bestie
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
I LOVE YOU MORE
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
your friendship is so adorable my god
moonmoon @cinderindy
@MSSTacadec
MJ @thebiggay
I'm dating a literal princess, beat that bitches
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
love you my queen (thanks betty for taking this ly)
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
I CANT WITH YOU GUYS 😭
need an advil? @sallyavril
@witchybitch @BETTYBRANT @cinderindy @thebiggay
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
fun fact: three seconds after this was taken, I fell off the side,,, good thing i have MaGiC
>> moonmoon @cinderindy
i stopped breathing, holy fuck it was so scary
charles @celerymurphy
ned leeds appreciation tweet
> need an advil? @sallyavril
look at this little gem
>> GITC @nedward
omg guys
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
an oldie but a goodie
> MJ @thebiggay
love you loser
>> GITC @nedward
CRYING
ABE @acebrown
A vibe.
> need an advil? @sallyavril
we all got DRENCHED
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
loml @peterparkour
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
love you baby
MJ @thebiggay
@potatoboi @cinderindy
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
why are we always the designated shoppers in the group @cinderindy
MSST @BETTYBRANT
@nedward cutie
> GITC @nedward
🥰🥰
moonmoon @cinderindy
@sallyavril we look pre cute
> need an advil? @sallyavril
damn we sure do
baby spider @spiderman
hey @thebiggay
MJ @thebiggay
sup spidey
MSST @BETTYBRANT
love you @acebrown
ABE @acebrown
can't believe we've known each other since we were babies tf
moonmoon @cinderindy
@thebiggay I LOVE YOU BITCH
> MJ @thebiggay
I AIN'T EVER GONNA STOP LOVIN YOU...BITCH
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
MY DAY ONE
> GITC @nedward
I LOVE YOU BAEE
MSST @BETTYBRANT
that one time... @thebiggay
> MJ @thebiggay
👀👀
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
this has me hot and bothered
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
been seeing some comments lately. the homophobes can literally suck my dick 🤙
need an advil? @sallyavril
AMEN TO THAT
charles @celerymurphy
love you beautiful
> moonmoon @cinderindy
you're so cute stop it
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
the only valid heteros
> blegh @flashthompson
lmao period.
moonmoon @cinderindy
@acebrown hey boo
ABE @acebrown
hey girlie
need an advil? @sallyavril
@BETTYBRANT noodlicious
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
ABE @acebrown
@thebiggay We sexc
> MJ @thebiggay
oof we sure are
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
a heads up to everyone; phones do not taste nice.
@peterparkour @cinderindy @sallyavril @flashthompson
MSST @BETTYBRANT
snacks
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
MEALS
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkou
she loves me really
MJ @thebiggay
lmao
blegh @flashthompson
@cinderindy @celerymurphy relationship goals
> charles @celerymurphy
LMAOO didn't Peter steal these from some kids bday party whilst we were at the mall?
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
HAHAAHA I DID OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Peter literally why??
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
nunyuh business old man
GITC @nedward
told @peterparkour and @potatoboi to get a room and this is what they did smh
MJ @thebiggay
i can't count on both hands how many times i've walked in on them making out good god
blegh @flashthompson
@peterparkour @potatoboi @acebrown
sk8er boys
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
lmao stream avril lavigne
> ABE @acebrown
I'm surprised we didn't get run over honestly
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
we should do that again
GITC @nedward
og core-four
> ABE @acebrown
AYOO
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
WE MISS YOU @LIZTOOMES ❤❤❤
LIZZY @LIZTOOMES
i miss you guys so much!!!
cheap bish @aubriejona
okay so in conclusion FRIENDSHIP GOALS
court @ney
lets be honest. we all wish we had friends like that
> harry fan @miatommy
a girl can dream
STUCKYYY @joannawho
AHHHH Harley and Peter are so cute!!
> franny potter @hoolahop
AND SHURI/MJ
>> STUCKYYY @joannawho
my crops are watered, my grades are up and my skin is CLEAR
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check out my other fic! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 13: queer for the win
Notes:
Oh my god, i'm so sorry for taking so long to update this. I've been swamped with school and I'm currently in quarentine so everything has just been fkn crazy. Anways, hope ya'll enjoy this but I feel like its a bit shitty, I wasn't really in a good place of mind when I was writing this :/
TW: use of slurs (minor)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
ok, how do you politely tell someone you want to hit them with a brick?
> baby spider @spiderman
since when are you polite about insulting anyone
> mama spider @natashalie
one wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.
> MJ @thebiggay
that was the most beautiful thing I've ever read
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
god, you guys terrify me
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
@falcon One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly :)
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
you little bitch
>> Peggy @britbitch
lmao idiots
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
we'll never actually know if they're friends or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
> mama spider @natashalie
pfft they love each other. Bucky took like three bullets for Sam on our last mission and he even let him have the last cookie when Sam was feeling sick the other day :P
>> iron-can @tonystank
Sam bought Bucky a $100 fluffy blanket to help him sleep (I have the receipts) and he made him hot chocolate on that really cold day last month...
>>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
oh my gods stop EXPOSING US
>>> Sammy Wilson @falcon
we have reputations jeez
> GITC @nedward
hahahaha
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
sorry to break it to you, but ya'll are softies and everyone knows it
>> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
yeah, don't go thinking the world didn't see that unprompted bear hug you guys shared after that conference a few months ago
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
naw but that was cute though 🤧
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
fuck you all very much </3
iron-can @tonystank
IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON USE THE AVENGERS AS AN ADVERTISEMENT AND/OR A JUSTIFICATION FOR YOUR HOMOPHOBIC, RACIST, SEXIST, TRANSPHOBIC, FUCKING VIEWS IM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT
> iron-can @tonystank
I am a pansexual man in a poly relationship with both a MAN and a WOMAN (love you both) I DO NOT SUPPORT YOUR BIGOTED FUCKING VIEWS ASSHOLES!
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
PERIOD.
> rhodey @whoremachine
love you tones 💗💜💙
> Pep @saltandpepper
as much as you are a pain in the ass Tony, I love you as well ❤
The Avengers @avengers
The Avengers would like to publicly state, since apparently, it isn't obvious enough, that WE SUPPORT ALL HUMAN RIGHTS: gay rights, trans rights, womens rights, the right to an abortion ETC. We DO NOT condone any sort of racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, transphobia: ANYTHING OF THE SORT.
> The Avengers @avenger
If we see any more companies, institutions, governments etc, promoting any of these things by using the Avengers as a WHOLE or ANY MEMBER of the Avengers, Stark Industries, The Avengers, all of SI's individual branches and their best lawyers will be taking legal action against you. Thank you, that is all.
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Yeah, okay. I've had enough of this shit. [picture of Bucky and Steve kissing at the aisle on their wedding day. The two of them are smiling into the kiss, and the Avengers + co can be seen standing and clapping in celebration.] I'M GAY AF OKAY?
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Fuck, I'm so in love with you it's not even funny
>> jAckie @bottombitch
HOLY SHIT!!!!! #STUCKY @louishappil AHHHH!!!!!
> STUCKYYY @louishappil
IM GOING TO FAINT ednfdshfbdfbskjf
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
[wanda maximoff updated her profile picture]
I feel like this is pretty self-explanitory ✌
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
bitch me too!!!
> MJ @thebiggay
If my handle wasn't obvious enough?? This, you morons.
baby spider @spiderman
Guess we're doin this. I swing both ways. I'm also trans. Homophobes and transphobes, suck my dick 🤙
> GITC @nedward
ICON (I'm BI AF)
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Retweet if your Bi and where you fall on the spectrum of; distinguished, functional and disaster
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I'll start: I'm a total disaster but people still see me as functional (god knows why)
> Peggy @britbitch
functional bi :))))
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
Bi and a TOTAL DISASTER
>> baby spider @spiderman
👆👆👆
>> GITC @nedward
oop same as peter
>> MSST @BETTYBRANT
@peterparkour twins
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
love that for us Betts
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
functional bi...maybe a lil disastrous when I got my wings on
> Pep @saltandpepper
distinguished bi
>mama spider @natashalie
functional bi....maybe....everyone else might say otherwise
> rhodey @whoremachine
distinguished bi!
>> iron-can @tonystank
okay I call bs sourpatch
> rhodey @whoremachine
shoosh
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
GAYS LETS RIIIIISE
> blegh @flashthompson
here here!
> ABE @acebrown
I HAVE RISIN
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
amen child
Bruce Banner @bruciebear
Well, I suppose you guys might like to know that Thor and I are married :) (I'm asexual and homoromantic, ya'll already know about Thor)
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
your ceremony was so pretty!!!
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
UGH IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLL
>> Bruce Banner @bruciebear
thank you guys :)
kyle har @playboyharrison
god this is disgusting
> x0x @assholly
microscopic dick energy
> shar shar @sharrypokker
take your homophobic ass somewhere else, we don't need your negativity moron.
>> kyle har @playboyharrison
I'm allowed to have a fucking opinion dyke
> shar shar @sharrypokker
its not a fucking opinion when it discriminates against others you peace of shit. and yes. i am a dyke, thanks for pointing it out asshole!
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I will never understand why some people find the need to discriminate against others. Like, I just don't fucking understand WHY someone feels like they need to express hate towards someone over something they usually cannot control? Like why does someone's skin colour fucking matter to you? WHY DO YOU CARE who someone falls in love with? Like what has got some of you so messed up that you feel the need to put others down for the sake of NOTHING.
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Seriously, I will never not be disappointed in the world.
TRENDING:
#QUEERVENGERS
#ANTIDISCRIMINATION
#BIDER-MAN
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check out my other fic! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 14: décor
Summary:
i have no fucking clue what this chapter is. don't even ask
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The Avengers @avengers
(Nat here) occurrence of the day:
Clint: *lying on the ground, wearing sunglasses*
Steve: Clint, do you want a drink?
Clint:
Steve: Is he sleeping?
Bucky: Nah, he's unconscious. We were playing with a frisbee-
Steve: My shield?
Bucky: -yeah, your shield and I knocked him out so I put sunglasses on him in case someone thinks he's dead or something
Steve: ...
Steve: Could he be dead though?
Bucky: I mean, maybe
> bilinski! @sterek24
BAHAHAHA is he okay?
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
peggy made us take him to the medbay in the tower and he legit had a concussion lmfao
>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
he was so confused when he woke up 😂😂
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
"how in the frickety fuck did I get here?" were his exact words
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
dude I was so confused?? The last thing I remembered was bucket falling on his ass, and then I woke up with sunglasses on and everything was tinted rainbow
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
the room was gay-ified
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
bucket hehe
>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
-_-
mama spider @natashalie
you'd think with the number of times Clint's ended up in a hospital room he'd be less confused but nope
mama spider @natashalie
my boyfriend is a fuckin moron everybody
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
naw you make me blush Tasha
>> iron-can @tonystank
blegh
> baby spider @spiderman
BleGh stfu Stank you hypocrite
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
oop
iron-can @tonystank
okay, so you'd think that Steve and Bucky, being 100 yr old men from the stone age would have like, a super neat, old-style apartment in the tower right?
>iron-can @tonystank
ABSOLUTELY NOT
>> iron-can @tonystank
okay, so I hadn't been in their apartment until today (which is weird but anyway), and I fully expected the 40's style furniture and the antique shit that had originally been in the flat, maybe a Menin Gate At Midnight painting and neatly stacked records... nuh uh.
>>> iron-can @tonystank
okay first of all, the whole place is decked out in LED lights. like lining the ceiling and the architraves and the doors and stuff and it just looks so freaking cool.
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
oh yeah, me and friends helped them put them up! Glad they're still up
> iron-can @tonystank
oh nice. Okay so the front door goes directly into this wide hallway and it has doors to the master bed and the guest room on either wall and theres this massive plain bit of wall from the guest door to the end of the hallway and it's entirely decked out with pictures of famous LGBT icons. I'm talking freddy mercury, elton, Sylvia Rivera, damian from mean girls, James Baldwin, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy and there's even this massive poison ivy and Harley quinn comic strip and the while things is just bloody awesome idk why I don't have something like it
>> iron-can @tonystank
there are paintings that Steve has done placed throughout the mural too and its all so colourful and vibrant its honestly captivating. There's a couple of different pride flags pinned up as well and right in the middle is a picture of bucky and steve on their wedding day and I just- I literally stared at the whole thing for 20 minutes
> lola @lolsmithens
holy shit that sounds so beautiful!!
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
its absolutely gorgeous
iron-can @tonystank
when you walk out into the open living area they have this giant colourful rug and a grey couch on top but its basically a huge bed and its decked out with multicoloured throw blankets and pillows and there's a MASSIVE tv across from it and has those lights attached that change colours with the screen.
> iron-can @tonystank
and against a wall there's this cool industrial looking shelf thing and it has crates that slide out of it and they're full with different records from different decades and next to that theres a jukebox, like a legit working one from a diner or something its awesome. theres a full on grand piano in front of one part of the windows and several bookshelves with the books in rainbow order. Anyways the whole place a massive vibe
> mama spider @natashalie
I particularly love the wall next to the kitchen that has a series of large B&W photographs Peter and MJ took of a few of us. They also have this crazy-ass chandelier above the dining table which I'm scared will fall every time I eat over there
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
OH MY GOD YES! I saw a picture of that and I was like- SHIT
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
here's a few of the pictures on the wall :)
> rhodey @whoremachine
wait holy shit??
> moonmoon @cinderindy
@peterparkour @thebiggay YOU GUYS TOOK THESE?
>> MJ @thebiggay
yessir we did
> charles @celerymurphy
they're pretty fuckin impressive sheesh
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
thanks! 🤗
> diana @wellsdian
oh my god I can't handle this
> BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
we have passed away
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
we have this penis chandelier for no reason. It's in Steve's art studio :D
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
WAIT OMFG BAHAHAHAHA I've never been in there before so I've never seen it
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
I'm dead. why am I even surprised
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
oh yes, I'm very fond of that thing-gives me lots of...inspiration
> Pep @saltandpepper
I-jesus christ
harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
okay but that couch is the best fucking thing I have ever sat on...better than my bf's face even
> blegh @flashthompson
well that's an image 😏
>> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
FLASH UGH 🤮
> iron-can @tonystank
OH MY GOD CHILD I don't need that visual image NOOO
>> mama spider @natashalie
he literally only does this shit to get I rise out of you Tony
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
I need some god damn bleach. for my eyes or to drink I'm not sure yet.
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
I'll have to agree with you there kid. sorry Steve
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I'm absolutely gutted 😐
Hot celeb news! @pagesix
The media is in a frenzy after Avengers photoshoot images are revealed [https://pagesix.com/]
BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
Twitter has gone crazy after Peter Parker reveals some new spicy pics of the Avengers!! [https://www.buzzfeed.com]
People @people
Here's where to get Captain Rogers and Seargent Barnes newly revealed modular couch! [https://www.brosa.com]
Eli-thot @eliokathern
I NEED THAT CHANDELIER
TRENDING:
#iphone11
#QUEERVENGERS
#ANTIDISCRIMINATION
#BIDER-MAN
#blackhistorymonth
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 15: buckys kind of...hot?
Notes:
this chapter is so random??? also dylan o'brien is the loml
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Avengers @avengers
(Wanda here 🥰) Let's start this beautiful day off with a couple of conversations between your local Gods:
#1
Loki: what do you want from me?
Thor: the truth!
Loki: *laughs*
Thor:
Loki:
Loki: oh you weren't joking
> The Avengers @avengers
#2
Loki: So when does the judgmental express arrive?
Thor: Father will be here at noon.
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
the second one made me giggle
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
as if you try to ask the God of Lies to tell the truth...rookie mistake
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Literally. I'm so disappointed in Thor.
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
smh
iron-can @tonystank
Just watched Pep completely trash a couple of pighead politicians. I've never been so turned on in my life
> MJ @thebiggay
we did not need to see this my god.
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
I'm locking myself in my room and crying until I forget this
>> baby spider @spiderman
I'm going to join you
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
fuck, me too. ill bring some bleach
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
nice
> iron-can @tonystank
YOU'RE JUST AS BAD STEVEN
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
"Bucky can literally rail me whenever and wherever he fucking wants"
> cap assmerica @capdadddy
as he should
> Peggy @britbitch
James: Takes his shirt off
Steve: drools like a fucking dog
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
excuse me. like you don't too
> Peggy @britbitch
...well 🤷♀️
>> iron-can @tonystank
ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO BARNES????
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
dude. IM attracted to that man. have you seen him?
>> mama spider @natashalie
^^^^
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
he could fuck me if he wanted
>> mama spider @natashalie
^^^^^^^^
> rhodey @whoremachine
oh my
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
Pep @saltandpepper
This is literally Tony right now:
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
Mom knows how to use memes. I REPEATTTTTTTT MOM KNOWS HOW TO USE MEMES
> GITC @nedward
😮😮😮
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
it's over for all of us now
> Pep @saltandpepper
😃
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
why are all my friends attracted to me
> iron-can @tonystank
are you complaining?!
>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
absolutely not
BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
how hot is Bucky Barnes? Tell us what you think here: (https://www.buzzfeed.com/)
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
why is this even a thing 😭
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
because you're insanely attractive baby
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
crying and throwing up
ABE @acebrown
Bucky Barnes is who I aspire to be
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
mood
The Avengers @avengers
Bucky: Tomorrows garbage day
Sam: I can't believe they named a whole day after you
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
@falcon did you know that there's a day named after you too?
>> Sammy Wilson @falcon
oh yeah? what is it 😐
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
day of the dead
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
my body: you are dying of the Heat
me: *removes blanket*
my body: never have you been So Frozen
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
like ffs MAKE UP YOUR MIND MATE
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
me: *sticks one leg out*
my body: perfect
baby spider @spiderman
i'm afraid of spiders
> iron-can @tonystank
what
CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
all the odinsons have British accents except for Thor because Heimdall thought it would be funny to only ever talk to the baby in an Australian accent
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
you're a genius
>> Sammy Wilson @falcon
don't fucking tell him that
> leo 🥵 @capridamnnn
wait who's heimdall??
>> mama spider @natashalie
he sees all 😶😏
> avengers #1 @bcukyinHD
wot
>> iron-can @tonystank
#heimdallseesall
he knows what you dirty bitches are doing
iron-can @tonystank
guys you need to stop complimenting bucket. his ego's getting too big 😭
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
don't worry Tony, it'll never get as big as yours
> Pep @saltandpepper
beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
I-i think i'm going to pass out. My friends and i just walked into fucking DYLAN O'BRIEN
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
HOW IS HE PRETTIER IN PERSON I CANT IM CRYING
> MJ @thebiggay
loml. I'm sorry Shuri
>> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
DONT YOU DARE APOLAGIZE
> blegh @flashthompson
IM FUCKIKSDCNFASJFBHASJFBDHBASJF
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
I'm not okay. IM NOT OKAY
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
i might pass out
> GITC @nedward
I DID PASS OUT
> MSST @BETTYBRANT
NOT EVEN MJ'S OKAY AND ITS MJ FUUUUKCKCKJSACIFNBJHFBJS
> ABE @acebrown
I LOOKED GOOD RIHGT??
>> charles @celerymurphy
YOU LOOKED GREAT BABE BUT I WAS WEARING A FUKCING TEEN WOLF MEME SHIRTTT
> need an advil? @sallyavril
deep breaths sally DEEP BREATHS
> Dylan O'Brien (Taylor’s Version) @dylanobrien
Ya'll are funny. And your shirt was rad Charles 👌
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
OH MY GOODDDDDDDDDDD
> charles @celerymurphy
Im going to pass away
TRENDING:
#bitcoin
#heimdallseesall
#tuesdaymotivation
#InMyFeelingsChallenge
#buckybarnes
Notes:
Hi, if you're interested in MCU time travel fix-it's check my other story! "We're back at the beginning."
Chapter 16: hide and go seek
Notes:
how tf did i start this a year ago???
Chapter Text
The Avengers @avengers
im crying - bucky, nat (here's a convo from this morning,,, steve and tony were very sleep-deprived)
Tony: Punch me in the face
Steve: Punch you?
Tony: Yes. Punch me. In the face. Didn't you hear me?
Steve: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you're speaking but it's usually subtext
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
oh my gods it's kind of true ngl...sry daddio
> iron-can @tonystank
what'??? (also you can't just call me dad and think you can get away with everything)
>> Pep @saltandpepper
yes he can -_-
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
I don't mean to be mean I swear! It's just, it's like you have this sign that just says *punch me*
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
yeah, I don't know what it is. maybe it's his face?
> iron-can @tonystank
you ass
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
hehe
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
don't worry tones, we'll protect you from anyone that wants to hit you in the face...probably
> mike @stevebigdicenergy
okay but did captain rogers punch him or not?
>> iron-can @tonystank
no :( unfortunately
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
oh I totally would've if I didn't have anything better to do and weren't in danger of actually caving your head in...you do remember I have super strength correct?
> iron-can @tonystank
actually, i do forget a lot of the time. you're too cuddly and adorable to be a supersoldier. it doesn't make sense
>> Peggy @britbitch
so true
> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
steve is literally the embodiment of this (ง'̀-'́)ง
> Peggy @britbitch
omg
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
-_- shut up
> fuck the government @harryking
this is cracking me up
>> donate to our charity!! @spideyvigilante
how are these the people that protect our country? LMFAO
the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Why does no one tell me if we have people over, I just walked downstairs wearing a ‘say hey if you're gay’ T-shirt and batman boxers. And the fucking president was in the living room.
> MJ @thebiggay
why tf was the president there
>> GITC @nedward
yeah, wouldn't you usually go to the Whitehouse? not the other way around
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
we have no clue, Tony was *very* secretive about it @tonystank ??
>> iron-can @tonystank
nope it's a secret
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
told ya
baby spider @spiderman
disney channel games is the most legendary crossover in all of television history
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
don't spout this blasphemy on here
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
So, the avengers are playing hide and seek (but deadlier) because we're children. Bucky's the seeker.
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
I'm hiding in a closet
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Didn't think i'd be back in one but here we are
> bi-disaster @peterparkour
oh my gods was that a gay joke? I'm so proud
> queervengers @ironamerica
Captain America sir, can't bucky see this?
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
oh fuckwjshxbdgwetydfwygd
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead
> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
me, @thebiggay and @peterparkour will be organising the funeral for our dear captain
>> mj @thebiggay
$10 entry fee
>>> bi-disaster @peterparkour
there'll be a jumping castle
>>>> your local lesbian @shurimissouri
$2 extra fee for photos with the casket
>>>>> mama spider @natashalie
it's what he would've wanted
CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
He's never gonna find me mwahaha
> mama spider @natashalie
you're In the cupboard next to the dishwasher aren't you
>> iron-can @tonystank
he's definitely eating Thor's pop tarts in there
> Peggy @britbitch
Bucky found him literally a second after Clint's tweet lmfao
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
are we surprised? no
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
IM ALIVE BITCHES
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
THWY WERE MAKING OUT IN THE KITCHEN UGH
>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
then he bit down on his pop tart too loudly and i found him
> Sammy Wilson @falcon
@arrowboi fucking loser
>> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
YOU WERE FOUND FIRST SHUT UP
xualalia @captmarvelss
Who's still left?
> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
Nat, Peter, Spidey, Wanda and Rhodey
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
😉
>> harley ™ 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 @potatoboi
Pietro was found but he thinks he got away fast enough with his zoom zoom powers
> i'm the better twin @pietromaxi
:(
The Avengers @avengers
WE HAVE A HIDE & SEEK WINNER!!!
> The Avengers @avengers
Drum Roll Please
>> baby spider @spiderman
*rolls drum*
> The Avengers @avengers
thank you
>> The Avengers @avengers
AND OUR WINNER IS.....
>>> The Avengers @avengers
OUR LOCAL SCARLET WITCH...WANDA!!
> GITC @nedward
*round of applause*
> wanda maximoff @witchybitch
thank you, thank you. i'd like to say thank you to my mama krasnoyersk for teaching me her ways, and of course papa Clint for showing me what not to do. without my family i would not have been able to earn this win today.
> CAW CAW MF @arrowboi
you're very welcome
> Peggy @britbitch
we're so proud *wipes tear*
> mama spider @natashalie
you were a great student konfetka.
> beter-barker 🌈 @peterparkour
congrats sis
> PAU(L)A 🤙@pauline__
You're all so serious about it 😭😭
> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
This is a very important matter Paula.
>> the b stands for baby @jbbarnes
Yeah, Paula.
> ray of sunshine @imk!adding
BAHAHAHA
> wendy 🕷🌈 @polo_hernandezx
Paula bby you just got shunned by Stucky omg
> i need to see nats abs @alexromanoff
@pauline__ how are you feeling?
>> PAU(L)A 🤙@pauline__
i'mnot okay
> xualalia @captmarvelss
i wouldn't be either
Stove Rogers @icedamericano
Why is my book in the freezer?
> isaac *2000's era* @avxengersmeme
wot
> mama spider @natashalie
You said “this is gonna confuse me so much tomorrow” and put it in. Apparently drunk you likes to play pranks on sober you.
>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
....
>>> Stove Rogers @icedamericano
That explains so much
TRENDING:
#avengershideandseek
#bitcoin
#heimdallseesall
#tuesdaymotivation
#InMyFeelingsChallenge
Chapter 17: #MadamePresident
Summary:
fuck donald trump. i have never been more glad to be Australian, although i am terrified for our upcoming election 😁👍
pretend this fic is a bit in the future compared to the other chapters. okay? cool.
also excuse the slightly different formatting, I actually started using twitter after I temporarily abandoned this fic so I'm changing it for my own piece of mind💀
Notes:
Sorry for the 3-year hiatus... whoops.
Seb getting his Golden Globe win and Oscar nom has me back on my Marvel grind and I have fallen back in love with Steve Rogers. Thank you for that Sebastian.Since the last chapter, I'm now in my 20s (terrifying) and I fell down a Stray Kids rabbit hole about a week after I last published here. The constant Marvel references, Deadpool/Wolverine cameo and interactions with Chris H, Ryan and Hugh have been keeping my deep Marvel addiction fed, so expect some random SKZ cameos at some point. No one can stop me.
ALSO UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I EVER CALL THIS FUCKING PLATFORM X. fuck elon musk. we're pretending he doesn't own this god-forsaken app.
Anyway, enjoy this chapter as i try to salvage the lovely, cringy mess that is this fic and try not to create any repeat chapters as I quite literally have not read any of this in 3 years.
Chapter Text
The Avengers √ @avengers
The Avengers team would like to extend our heartfelt congratulations to President-Elect Kamala Harris. We look forward to working with you in the future and seeing all that you can do for this country. #MadamePresident
empire of truth @adrianm1976
of course a bunch of sissys voted for this whore
The Avengers √ @avengers
We'll see you in Bothell, Adrian Brody Mohean.
Vivian🐌 @rxchalore
did we just see the avengers dox a biggot???
America’s Ass™ √ @icedamericano
Today, we witnessed history. Congratulations to President-Elect Kamala Harris, the first woman to be elected President of the United States. Your leadership inspires a brighter, more inclusive future. Proud to see America continue to grow stronger together. #MadamePresident
milo⋆｡˚ ⋆ @starklyours
this has to be the most serious tweet mr. rogers has ever made💀
GITC @nedward
can always count on cap to say something inspiring
Peggy √ @britbitch
USA, congrats. You've saved this country from self-destruction. We're all looking forward to seeing what you do in The Oval Office, President Harris. #MadamePresident
the b stands for baby √ @jbbarnes
fuck donald trump. welcome madame president. #MadamePresident
Bruce Banner √ @bruciebear
amen to that
tony🤖 √ @ironman
Kamala, it's been an honour knowing you over the last two decades and I can't begin to express how proud I am to see you get this far. Thank you America for voting sensibly and congratulations #MadamePresident
<retweeted by Pepper Potts √>
PP😏 @peterparkour
YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH MOTHER KAMALA????
tony🤖 √ @ironman
i have a lot of friends you don't know about kid
baby spider √ @spiderman
CONGRATULATIONS MOTHER #MadamePresident
<retweeted by CAW CAW MF √, America’s Ass™ √ and The Avengers √>
America’s Ass™ √ @icedamericano
Props to the majority of the USA for keeping that mangled orange motherfucker out of office🥰 I had no interest in fighting in another world war, especially not one initiated by a racist, homophobic rapist that's doesn't know his left from right.
mama spider √ @natashalie
and there it is...
the b stands for baby √ @jbbarnes
so eloquently said x
"sonic the hedgehog" what a dork @m0neyh3ist
do the avengers just... not have any PR managers??? it's kind of surprising how much freedom they have on sm
Pepper Potts √ @saltandpepper
they went through about ten different PR teams over the span of a month before the last group quite and we gave up on trying again.
rhi💕@riricollita
at least they're more... human? in the public eye now? sort of?
Pepper Potts √ @saltandpepper
if you want to be optimistic...
Fox News @Foxnews
American's in shock over the Avengers' previous endorsement of Kamala Harris and congratulatory messages. Should they step down after wildly inappropriate and unprofessional derogatory comments made towards former President Trump and the republican party? (https://foxnews.com/...)
America’s Ass™ √ @icedamericano
suck my star spangled dick
Pepper Potts √ @saltandpepper
@icedamericano Steve.🤦♀️
....
America’s Ass™ √ @icedamericano
suck my star spangled dick
<retweeted by Pepper Potts √>
the b stands for baby √ @jbbarnes
everyone! meet mine and steve's new daughter. this is ruby.
SEEING SKZ 6/23!!! @ashleysmallas
the pictures wouldn't load and I thought you guys had a CHILD.
the b stands for baby √ @jbbarnes
we do?
SEEING SKZ 6/23!!! @ashleysmalla
WHAT?
the b stands for baby √ @jbbarnes
Sam Wilson √ @falcon
dude.
PP😏 @peterparkour
brother in christ I am EIGHTEEN NOW
America’s Ass™ √ @icedamericano
awww look at him, so feisty and cute🥰
the b stands for baby √ @jbbarnes
he gets those traits from you🥺
PP😏 @peterparkour
god I give up.
CAW CAW MF √ @arrowboi
LUCKY CAMEO
The Avengers √ @avengers
Wanda and Pietro here to deliver you live updates as OT7 attempts to cook in the kitchen.
Bucky Barnes Archive @bvckybvcket
OT7?
wanda maximoff @witchybitch
yeah! the original 8 avengers minus Thor: steve, bucky, peggy, tony, bruce, nat and clint!
The Avengers √ @avengers
[P] Tony's pulled out the mixer and Clint is currently sitting on Natasha's shoulders trying to find /something/ in the top cupboard. Bucky and Steve are too busy making out against the fridge to help (ew)
The Avengers √ @avengers
[W] Apparently they're trying to make a beef wellington with yorkshire puddings?? And a lasagne? And tacos? Okay?????
The Avengers √ @avengers
[P] Clint found what he was looking for in the cupboard. It was a whisk.
The Avengers √ @avengers
[P] The capsicles are in charge of the tacos. The spies and bruce are doing the beef and puddings. Tony's making the lasagne. He was VERY specific about being the only one to do it. Italians.
wendy🕷 @polo_hernandezx
Beef wellingtons aren't very easy....
The Avengers √ @avengers
They unfortunately do not care.
The Avengers √ @avengers
[W] I'm very afraid this will not be edible.
The Avengers √ @avengers
There's a fire.
rhodey @whoremachine
??????????
The Avengers √ @avengers
Fire is out all!
Sam Wilson @falcon
WHERE is Pep?? Who allowed this to go through????
Pepper Potts @saltandpepper
I'm in San Fransisco and if i come home to no kitchen. Someone's dying @avengers
The Avengers √ @avengers
.... they forgot to pre-heat the oven. Tony's pissed.
The Avengers √ @avengers
[W] Tony's doing well now that the oven is on. He looks very peaceful in his little corner of the kitchen. The lasange is almost ready to cook. Can't say the same about the capsicles, they are doing more yelling than cooking. There's food on the stove though!
The Avengers √ @avengers
[W] Clint and Nat are currently trying to kill each other. Bruce has left. He was looking a little green. There's beef on the floor and the pastry is melting. Somehow.
The Avengers √ @avengers
[P] There's food on the walls. Nat and Clint are on the floor with a pint of pistachio ice cream between them. The beef is still on the floor. Dodger is eyeing it off from his perch on the couch.
The Avengers √ @avengers
[W] Lasanga is cooling and the taco shells are heating up in the oven! Alpine, Ruby and Liho have joined us in the kitchen. No idea how the kittys got downstairs unless they know how to use the elevator...
The Avengers √ @avengers
OKAY OKAY!!! TONY ATE WITH THE LASAGNE. The tacos were simple so there wasn't much they could do wrong, well, it's a little too spicy for some of us but. Edible. The beef wellington and yorkshire puddings. Um. Nonexistent.
mike @stevebigdicenergy
How are the avengers all still alive atp...
The Avengers √ @avengers
If you're in Montpelier and any surrounding suburbs, take cover and get inside if you can. Staying outside to film the ongoing attack on the city is not worth your life.
TMZ √ @tmz
The Avengers have arrived on scene in Vermont. Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Spider-Man, The Winter Soldier, Agent Carter, Falcon and War Machine have all exited their jet. Scarlette Witch, Hulk, Vision and Quicksilver have not yet been spotted and are believed to have stayed behind. Thor and Loki are still off-world.
Breaking News CNN √ @CNN_Offical
We're receiving live updates from our sources right now, saying that members of The Avengers have been kidnapped in the midst of a fight in Vermont. Our sources say their location is currently unknown. The kidnapper is known to be extremely dangerous and magically enhanced. (1)
Breaking News CNN √ @CNN_Offical
Reports are saying that the attacks in Montpelier, Vermont were a trap to gather the Avengers and have since ceased after their sudden disappearance. Follow and turn on notifications for live updates. #AvengersMIA (2)
BBC News (World) @BBCWorld
We're praying for the Avengers' quick and safe return to NYC.
TRENDING:
#MadamePresident
#ElectionDay
#AvengersMIA
#ArcaneSeason2
#StrayKids