shadoweddepths
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Recent works
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i already miss what i have, i think about that a lot (two funerals in my head) by shadoweddepths
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
22 Dec 2024
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Summary
There’s a hesitation, a weighted moment of silence, and then – and then fingertips so gently brush against Izzy’s cheek. It’s a gentle caress, just a brief moment of connection, but it’s – Izzy feels like it lasts an eternity. Like he can’t breathe. Like nothing else in the world exists but the press of Edward’s skin against his, the way it feels to be touched so carefully, so gently, as if he’s someone worth being kind to.
“Good night, Iz,” Edward murmurs.
And then he’s gone, and Izzy is left struggling to remember how to breathe. How to even function in a world where Edward apparently just… touches him like that. In a daze, he shucks off the vest he’d put on over his nightshirt, removes the straps of his legs. Lies down on a couch that has absolutely no right to be more comfortable than his own bed, and covers himself with a blanket that’s softer than anything he’s ever felt.
Does Edward have any idea of the effect he has on Izzy?
(five times Izzy has a nightmare, and the one time he doesn't)
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keep the earth below my feet (for all my sweat, my blood runs weak) by Elle_dubs (avril_o), shadoweddepths
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
05 Sep 2024
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Summary
“A-Aziraphale,” Crowley stutters, a bit helplessly. He looks – lost. Like he doesn’t know what to do, or say, or think. So Aziraphale makes the decision. He steps forward, reaches out with his hands. Places them both on Crowley’s shoulders before he can step back again.
Underneath his touch, the demon freezes. He’s so still, so unmoving, that Aziraphale is certain he’s even stopped breathing again. Has he gotten it wrong? He was so sure, after what happened at the wedding – but Crowley is frozen beneath his touch, and Aziraphale doesn’t know what to do.
But then – it’s like a dam breaking. Like it’s too much, all at once. Crowley crumples forward. Collapses into Aziraphale’s arms, all the strength gone out of his limbs. His arms end up slung across Aziraphale’s shoulders, hands locked together behind Aziraphale’s head. There’s no – he doesn’t make a sound, but the raw agony on his face, the sheer openness of it, says more than words ever could.
“I’ve got you,” Aziraphale says, now sounding a bit helpless himself. “You’re alright, Crowley.”
(When Crowley returns from his laudanum-induced trip to Hell, Aziraphale helps pick up the pieces.)
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how do i tell you i need you (when you steal the breath in my lungs) by shadoweddepths
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
21 Jul 2024
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Summary
But Sam is looking at him with lidded eyes and a soft little smile on his lips. It feels private. Like a smile that’s been saved just for him, out of all the people in the world Sam could smile at like that. Feels like that moment in the bar when their eyes met and it was just the two of them, like the rest of the world fell away and Sam was the only thing that mattered. And it’s – Bucky should be terrified. Probably is terrified, if he stops and thinks about it. But it’s just Sam. Just the person Bucky cares about most in the world.
Sam’s gaze flickers down. It takes Bucky a second to realize – oh, he’s staring at my lips – and then a dizzying rush of heat floods through him. Makes him feel alive in a way he hasn’t felt in so long. Makes him want to lean in, to see what Sam tastes like, how soft his lips are. Wants to see what noise he’d make if Bucky just - just surprised him and leaned forward and –
He’s leaning forward. Closing the distance between them. So slowly, achingly slowly, but it’s –
He can’t. He just –
Can’t.
(Not yet, at least. Not until he works up the courage. But he tells himself that for now it's enough, just being next to him, just being his friend.)
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all this time i didn't know (you were breaking down) by shadoweddepths
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Feb 2024
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Summary
Christ, does Izzy know nightmares. Both his own and Edward’s. And he’s seen enough of Edward’s bad days to recognize in Bonnet the kind of self-loathing that eats away at your insides until it feels like there’s nothing left. And even though Bonnet is one of the last people Izzy wants to see, let alone talk to, he takes a step into the room.
That stupid fucking rhyme is ridiculous. But – Bonnet’s one of them. He’s Edward’s boyfriend, even if that thought makes Izzy want to jump off the side of the ship. And, damn it all, Bonnet had come to rescue them, even when it seemed impossible.
It’s not about Bonnet, though, not really. Maybe, just maybe, Izzy wants to see if he’s the kind of person – this new and improved and friend-having Israel Hands – who can provide a person with comfort. He thinks he did, with Lucius and that damn shark. And now Bonnet’s here, clearly agitated and not talking to Edward about it, and –
And maybe Izzy can help. Even just a little.
(Stede has a nightmare and finds comfort in an unlikely source. Izzy learns that maybe it isn't so bad, talking it through as a crew and taking care of each other.)
Series
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i need to be youthfully felt ('cause god i never felt young) by shadoweddepths
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
05 Feb 2024
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Summary
Abruptly, Sam wonders how many people have put a friendly hand on Bucky in the last ninety-odd years. How many times did touch like this mean pain and suffering, instead of someone trying to take care of him? And it makes his heart ache, the thought of how much devastation and roughness Bucky’s been through, denied this kind of casual, compassionate touch that Sam doesn’t even think twice about offering.
Experimentally, he pulls his hand back. Bucky makes this low whining noise that makes Sam put his hand back immediately. And then he watches the way Bucky leans into it, eyelids fluttering like he’s almost falling asleep like this. Doesn’t even seem conscious of it, like he’s gone somewhere else in his head while Sam’s patching him up. And it’s – Sam doesn’t know what to think, doesn’t know what to feel. Because this is Bucky, and he’s showing such terrifying vulnerability, and Sam –
Sam can’t help but wonder if Bucky still expects pain every time someone touches him.
(Five times Sam realizes Bucky is touch-starved, and the one time he really does something about it.)
Recent series
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let the brokenness be felt ('til you reach the other side) by shadoweddepths
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Feb 2024
Summary
A look into the healing and recovery of three intrepid pirates who are maybe a little afraid of their own emotions. The slow coming-together of Stede, Izzy, and Ed as they work through what they mean to each other and learn to take comfort in each other.
Title from the song "Mars" by Sleeping At Last
- Words:
- 15,729
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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please come to me (don't bury thoughts that you really want) by shadoweddepths
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
07 Jan 2023
Summary
Five times Sam helped Bucky with his nightmares, and the one time Bucky returned the favor.
All titles taken from "Middle of the Night" by Elley Duhe.
- Words:
- 39,202
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 23
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Upset by the loss of their Navy hostages, Stede and crew take Izzy Hands hostage instead. They plan to ransom him back to his captain: funny, he didn’t mention his captain was Blackbeard…
A post-S1E2 canon-divergent AU in which Stede takes Izzy hostage, and they get to know each other before Ed is in the picture. And then Ed is in the picture, and all hell breaks loose.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,136
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 640
- Kudos:
- 2,013
- Bookmarks:
- 602
- Hits:
- 30,826
Bookmarked by shadoweddepths
15 Dec 2024
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Summary
“Three weeks,” Derek says.
“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.
“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…
“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“
“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”
“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,979
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 24
- Comments:
- 2,794
- Kudos:
- 35,120
- Bookmarks:
- 11,263
- Hits:
- 937,405
Bookmarked by shadoweddepths
11 Sep 2024
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"This is a casual, adult relationship based on sex, and it is awesome." In which Stiles and Derek have a great time buddyfucking until a burrito ruins it all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,689
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 773
- Kudos:
- 20,196
- Bookmarks:
- 4,327
- Hits:
- 263,168
Bookmarked by shadoweddepths
05 Sep 2024
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Summary
"There is a world where whenever someone fantasizes about you, you can physically feel it, but you have no idea who is thinking it about you."
Stiles knows it's wrong, but he's been Fantasizing about Derek and he can't bring himself to stop. Derek doesn't know who's taken an interest in him, but he's enjoying it way more than he probably should.
Series
- Part 1 of Object and a Dream
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,184
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 1,067
- Kudos:
- 18,991
- Bookmarks:
- 5,448
- Hits:
- 253,907
Bookmarked by shadoweddepths
27 Aug 2024
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A-Wing, X-Wing, Y-Wait, B-Mine (Please) by ester_inc
Fandoms: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
23 Jan 2016
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Summary
Finn keeps finding himself in situations where – no, wait, let's start over. Poe keeps ending up shirtless, nearly shirtless, or soaking wet, and somehow Finn is always there when it happens. The universe is either taunting him with what he can't have or rewarding him for good behavior, and Finn can't decide which is more likely. Either way, he's emotionally unprepared for, oh, let's be honest here: Poe's entire existence. It's fine. No big deal. He's working on it.
Bookmarked by shadoweddepths
23 Aug 2024