Living in Finland, the apartment building I live in has a common sauna (you need to book your shift). Several times when I have been in there, I have heard someone aggressively trying to open the door. I assume it's just someone trying to go to the sauna for free, testing if it's vacant. I hate that I find myself thinking, I want to yell fuck off, but then that person will hear there is a woman in here, alone. So I do nothing and swallow my frustration.

I have a neighbour who has an animal that makes quite a bit of noise. What annoys me more than the noise is him shouting "quiet!" at the animal whenever it makes a peep. I want to yell "you shut up!" at him, but I don't, because I remember my voice doesn't boom like his. Would he even hear it through the walls like I hear him? Would he give a shit hearing a woman nagging at him? So I do nothing and swallow my frustration.

Women—our voices are made of muscles and our bodies are an acoustic instrument. Something that people may not realize is that our voices are also socialized! You know how babies can cry for hours and not get a sore throat, but if you yell at a concert your voice gets sore? That is partly because of the ways that you have learned to breathe and carry yourself and speak.

Do you notice women getting higher pitched when they want to appear delicate or feminine? Have you noticed that some women speak in different voices when men are around? Have you ever felt pressure in your throat when you argue with men like your voice is a little choked up? We often carry traumas in our voices in how we change our stances and where we hold tension.

I honestly think that vocal training is a confidence booster and self defense. Learning to speak in your natural voice is HARD, and very few people are able to speak in their body’s natural voice without the social impediments we put on it. But go to voice training for actors and singers and you will start to find that women’s voices can also boom and thunder. But you don’t have to want to sing to want a more powerful voice.

There is a book called The Right to Speak by Patsy Rodenburg that I would recommend to anyone looking to get started!

Day 8/30 - honey