Feb 11
★ The Fall is our Most Productive Season ★
@0scill4te
M ★ 1999 ★ TW - i have no filter and mainly use this blog as a diary and rant box rn.
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49m
It would be r******* to ******e but damn its tempting
"what if i'm faking it for attention or some other gain" <- me about symptoms i cannot control or reproduce, that happen even when im alone, and that actively make my life harder.
It scares me how quickly misinformation spreads these days
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there are like, benefits to living alone and benefits to living with someone you trust tho, i will say that
#I know if i lived alone i would feel a lot more isolated. I complain a lot but i do appreciate my friend living here w me#I just wonder how much longer it will go on for though. We lived together out of necessity#We both can kinda support ourselves now... ( me just barely. But i could if push came to shove.)#I have an good-ish relationship with my parents now but god I never rlly wanna live with them again. No offense#my friend has told me hes just not happy living here. so im honestly prepared if he leaves ever. change scares me so much tho#there are only like 4 ppl in the world i feel ok living with and my rm is one of them#The other 3 are bound to others tho. If i live with my aunt i must live with my grandma (maybe i could deal)#If i live w my sister i must live with her bf (hes just... i cant.)#If i live w my mom i must live with my dad (👎👎👎👎👎)#Ugh.#Im considering ways for me to advance up in life so i can make more money but Im not that smart or skilled. I guess i can try anyways...#Get a certification in excel and hope the good paying office jobs will accept me despite my deficets? 🤷♀️#I just have to see where life takes me. Im happy where im at now im just scared its gonna change#Thats why im thinking about all of this. Just in case.#Im gonna start saving towards my goal with the extra income im getting too. I might as well be smart about money rn#This ramble is long im just so uncertain what the future might look like
I wanna live alone sometimes just because when you live with people, even choices like what you want the commons to look like is very hard. luckily we both want a minimalist style
#Its complicated and hard and my anxiety is what makes it so hard. Cuz i care abt not upsetting my rm w impulsive choices#I wish my rm would furnish the place since hes the more picky one anyways#I prefer 2nd hand as long as its not like. Sofas and stuff (im glad i got a futon from my parents yest. I trust they dont have bedbugs)#My roommate prefers new and for things to match. So its hardd. Idk#i have more of a tacky style (idc if things match) while hes like more modern
purely semantic interpretation of signs. i know what the scratches in the dirt are telling me but i don't consider them a point of authority
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To surround myself with gentleness feels like the most important task
no wonder im confused about what i want. my opinions and feelings change like all the time
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on the bi-cycle and pedaling away.. lol
Wish i was normal and was ok with entering the kitchen when my roommate is there
I want my Spanish to get better. im thinking ill challenge myself to read a book in Spanish this year
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NofNAweek 2025, day 3: "I'm going to borrow your move." Draw a character using another character's style.
MZ is the most important style thief in NofNA.