1

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2
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Hi, everybody.
Welcome to Strain O' The Day.

3
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You've noticed we're a little dressed up.

4
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But if you haven't, come on, dude, focus.

5
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We're wearing fancy-ass gowns
with the tags still on

6
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in honor of today's strain...

7
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Prom Night.

8
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This sativa-dominant hybrid
has been specially engineered

9
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to recreate the way you felt
that magical evening in May.

10
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Young, giddy
and deeply curious about that hard lump

11
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pressed against you
during the slow dance.

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[doorbell rings]

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Speaking of which...
14
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- our dates have arrived!
- Our dates have arrived!

15
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Hello, ladies.

16
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Pete, come on.

17
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Grew up on a commune,
I don't know what a prom is.

18
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[Jenny giggles]

19
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Wow, sweet threads.

20
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You two look like
the coolest dudes in school.

21
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Yeah. I know you only asked me out
because I'm dying,

22
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but I'm okay with that.

23
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What's happening?

24
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Stop it.

25
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So, did you guys, like, bring it?

26
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[laughs] Oh. We sure did.

27
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- [Olivia] Ooh.
- [Jenny] Aah.

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It matches my dress.

29
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And Prom Night is only $50 an eighth.

30
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So, you'll have money left over
to buy that morning-after pill.

31
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We're definitely getting some tonight.

32
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We have some right here,
but they're wearing it

33
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- and I still don't know why.
- Pete.

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Hi, kids.

35
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You didn't think you were getting away
without pictures, did you?

36
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[both] Oh, Mom.

37
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Hi, Mrs. Whitefeather Feldman
from Ruth's Alternative Caring.

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Hi, Mr. Carter.

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You two...

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what are your intentions
regarding my daughters?
41
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Sir... we intend to get them high.

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[Travis] On Prom Night.

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[both] We approve!

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[all laughing]

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But if either of you sons of bitches
lays a finger on my daughters...

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I'll shoot you dead.

47
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I am so fucking serious right now.

48
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No, I'm messing with you, boys.
Screw them senseless!

49
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[all chuckle]

50
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[both] Thanks, Dad.

51
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Prom Night.

52
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Share it with someone you'll stalk
on Facebook in 20 years.

53
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- So, what am I looking at here?
- It's Leafly.

54
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It's a website and an app.
It's Yelp for pot.

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It's a place where customers
can post reviews on our store.

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Here. Check it out.

57
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"Ruth's Alternative Caring is a great
dispensary and Ruth is the best."

58
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Wow.

59
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People on the Internet are really nice.

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[Olivia] Here's one.

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"I'm a high school math teacher

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and Ruth's Alternative Caring

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is the only reason
I haven't killed myself."

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We get a lot
of public school teachers in here

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who wanna leave the planet.

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I... I like this, though.

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I mean, you know, Travis,
getting on Leafly, that was a good idea.
68
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Wait, really?

69
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Not, "It was a good idea for a sellout
with an MBA"?

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Also known as an MBA-hole. [chuckles]

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- Right?
- Ooh. That was good.

72
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Oh, man. MBA-hole.
Where was that during the Scrabble game?

73
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No, no, but seriously, it's a good idea.

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Well, to be fair, Olivia's the one
who made the Leafly thing happen.

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- She's the real hero.
- Oh, I'm no hero.

76
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Just a humble pot-store employee
who completed a task.

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Oh, hey, I guess I am a hero.

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Wow, this is the good stuff.

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All of us working together again.

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You know?
No more of that needless infighting.
81
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We're all on the same team finally.

82
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Team Me.

83
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Although, seriously, I still do wish
the two of you were fucking.

84
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What?

85
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Hi-yah!

86
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Two boards.

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[chuckles]

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Impressive.

89
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It seems the student has become...

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a better student.

91
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Only because the teacher
has become the teacher

92
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of the student who
learned what I learned.

93
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Wise words.

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- Have you been practicing your meditation?
- No.

95
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Good. You should never do that
without a spotter.

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[grunting]

97
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Fast.

98
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Yeah.

99
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Well, my lunch break's over,
I should probably head back.

100
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You got kids, Pete, huh?

101
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You a family man?

102
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- No.
- Yeah, I am, too.

103
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Three girls.

104
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Of whom I have sole custody.

105
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On weekends.

106
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No son, though. No... heir apparent.

107
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No one to take this studio over
when I'm in my Tae Kwon Dotage.

108
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What about your girls?

109
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No. [laughs] No.

110
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They wanna be a princess, a unicorn
and an arts administrator.

111
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Three imaginary jobs.

112
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Besides,
dojangs are traditionally handed down

113
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from father to son in the Korean culture.

114
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That's according to Wikipedia.

115
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Well, again, I should...

116
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You know, I've long sought a young
protégé to be that surrogate son.

117
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But alas...

118
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I've found no one among
my students with the purity of heart

119
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and the ease of self to carry on
the Intensity Plus legacy.

120
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I have an idea.

121
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Yes, Pete?
122
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Maybe I could help you...

123
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hand out those 10-percent-off coupons.

124
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That's what got me in here.

125
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Hey. Good to see you.

126
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That review there. Read that.

127
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"Everyone at Ruth's is great,
but I particularly love Jenny.

128
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Not only did she set me up

129
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with some kick-ass
Frosted Mini Weed cereal...

130
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she's chill, funny
and radiates a beautiful sadness."

131
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Beautiful sadness?
What does that look like?

132
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[exhales]

133
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- That is spot-on. Yeah.
- Wow, just devastating.

134
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You need to figure out
who this "Lah-doo-day" is.
135
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I think it's "L.A. Dude."

136
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It doesn't matter what his name is.

137
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All that matters is,
I haven't had sex in 11 months.

138
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[sighs]

139
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Oh, God, we have to find him.

140
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Preferably before 2:45,
I gotta go pick up my kids.

141
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Hey, Carter.

142
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We keep security footage of everyone
who comes in the store, right?

143
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Roger that.

144
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So, we could go back through it
and figure out

145
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who bought a box
of Frosted Mini Weed from me.

146
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- Yeah, let's do it! It'll be fun.
- Okay, yeah, let's do it.

147
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Like private investigators,
solving a mystery.
148
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I'll be the boss
and y'all the three lady detectives.

149
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Carter's Angels. No, no, no.

150
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Charlie's Carters.

151
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,254
- No! Magnum, P.I.!
- He is so fucking high right now.

152
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I can't even follow. [chuckles]

153
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- Hello, Pete.
- Hey, Ruth.

154
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That didn't scare you?

155
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Oh, crap,
I knew I should have swiveled faster.

156
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Is, uh, everything okay?

157
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You tell me.

158
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You're the self-defense expert.

159
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[scoffs]
I wouldn't call myself an expert.

160
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I've just been taking classes
from Tae Kwon Doug.

161
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Oh, is that your story?
'Cause here's what I think.

162
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I think you've been taking classes
from Tae Kwon Doug.

163
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In a sense... we're both right.

164
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Pete, Tae Kwon Doug tried
to have us shut down.

165
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He had me arrested for the simple act

166
00:09:09,972 --> 00:09:11,730
of jumping off a truck on top of him,

167
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:12,986
plus some light punching.

168
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:17,023
I mean, what are you doing
giving him your business?

169
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,759
I'm not giving him any money.
He's teaching me for free.

170
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:22,262
I think it's more of a friendship thing.

171
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You two are friends?

172
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Sure.

173
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,974
So... if you threw a party
and you invited all your friends,

174
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he would be at that party?

175
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If he were available.

176
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And, uh, if... If you needed help moving
and he had a pickup truck,

177
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you'd consider paying him in pizza?

178
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,055
Yeah, although he's lactose-intolerant.

179
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You know he's lactose-intolerant?

180
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,596
He shared that with you?

181
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:01,267
Well, what's the big deal?
He's just my Tae Kwon Do teacher.

182
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:05,316
Well, since he's such a good teacher...

183
00:10:05,574 --> 00:10:07,442
maybe you can demonstrate on me.

184
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:13,313
Okay? I'm gonna open my mouth
and using your exciting new techniques...

185
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,784
reach in with your arm
and rip my heart out.

186
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,289
See now, that sounds advanced.
I just started.

187
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:29,028
Pete, I think we always knew
that it would come to this.
188
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,898
Ever since I visited
your family's compound,

189
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,100
I saw you suckling
at your mother's breast,

190
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:38,905
you were happy, innocent...
barely 6 years old.

191
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,343
And you looked at me and you said, "Hi."

192
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,245
Heh. Yeah, that sounds like me.

193
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:48,748
That's not what you meant.

194
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:53,653
What you meant was,
"One day I'm gonna rip your heart out

195
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,055
and throw it on the floor
in front of you."

196
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,392
Well, that day has come.

197
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:03,062
So, go ahead.
Reach in, take what's yours.

198
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,807
That's not him.
He's not looking at Jenny.

199
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,809
Actually, he's hot, though, so hold on.

200
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,746
Stop. Rewind.
Let me see him at regular speed.

201
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,150
Ew! He's not hot at regular speed!

202
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,687
Ah! Real time is not his friend!

203
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,225
This is gonna take forever.
We have to narrow it down.

204
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,361
Wait, the guy wrote
Jenny sold him Frosted Mini Weed, right?

205
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,313
That's on the top shelf of the fridge.

206
00:11:37,352 --> 00:11:39,664
So, just look for Jenny
reaching into that shelf.

207
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,302
[laughs] Olivia, you are not helping.

208
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:48,174
Jenny, does someone like you
really need to date some rando?

209
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,010
Why not? A rando's just a guy
you haven't fucked yet.

210
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,948
God, that... That's beautiful.

211
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,119
How about you, Carter? I bet
you've been to the rando rodeo before,

212
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,455
if you know what I'm saying! [laughs]

213
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:04,958
I do know what you're saying.
214
00:12:05,042 --> 00:12:06,092
Please stop.

215
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,495
Ah! You sly dog.

216
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,730
[chuckles]

217
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,433
All right, I guess it's my turn.

218
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,869
- No. We're not... There's no turns.
- It was tenth grade.

219
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,440
I was on a school trip
to Colonial Williamsburg.

220
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,875
Little did I know
that an apprentice blacksmith

221
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:27,380
was about to pound this innocent wench
into womanhood.

222
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:27,173
We cavorted in the hayloft
for nigh on 20 minutes,

223
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,375
and then he screamed, "Odds bodkins!"

224
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,279
And that's when I knew
I had become a woman.

225
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:40,019
Vape drop. Pew! [clicks tongue]

226
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:47,493
[singing] ♪ <i>Wish there was a song</i>
<i>About being sad ♪</i>
227
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:55,501
<i>♪ I wish there was a song
About being sad right now ♪</i>

228
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,504
<i>♪ 'Cause I'd sing it on the roof ♪</i>

229
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,507
<i>♪ Yeah, I'd sing it on the roof ♪</i>

230
00:14:04,529 --> 00:14:05,611
You sad?

231
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,916
God, you know me so well.

232
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,922
Mom gave you
the whole "rip my heart out" speech, huh?

233
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,623
- That's a thing?
- Oh, yeah.

234
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,525
I've ripped her heart out many times.

235
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,363
I've also pecked at her liver...
poisoned her womb.

236
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,366
In high school,
I gave her stage V soul cancer.

237
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,105
I don't understand how I was disloyal.

238
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,208
I'm just taking free lessons
from Tae Kwon Douglas.

239
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,877
She's afraid you'll choose him over her.
240
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,146
When she got out of jail,
I stayed with my dad,

241
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,015
she gave the whole speech,
didn't talk to me for a year.

242
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,252
I didn't talk for a year once.

243
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,222
It was my first year.

244
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,898
So... should I stop taking lessons
from Douglas?

245
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:01,501
What? You don't need to quit
'cause of what my mom thinks.

246
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,203
And you need to tell her that.
Stand up to her.

247
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,671
I'll go with you if it helps.

248
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:11,144
Okay, thanks.
Just give me a few more minutes here.

249
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,678
Take your time.

250
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:22,622
<i>♪ Ruth, I need to stand up to you ♪</i>

251
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,192
<i>♪ But I'm afraid ♪</i>

252
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:34,133
<i>♪ Camptown Races sing this song
Doo-dah! Doo-dah! ♪</i>
253
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:38,471
<i>♪ Camptown racetrack's five mile long
Oh, doo-dah day! ♪</i>

254
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,946
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Look at this.

255
00:15:47,004 --> 00:15:48,831
There's Jenny getting

256
00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:51,917
Frosted Mini Weed for the guy with
the motorcycle helmet.

257
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,453
[Olivia] Oh, my God, he's hot.

258
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,221
And he's checking out your ass.

259
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,324
[Jenny] Yeah, baby.
Beautiful sadness in the front,

260
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,526
[singsong] party in the back.

261
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,529
[Maria] A motorcycle helmet, I like it.

262
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:07,166
It says, "I'm cool,
but I don't want a brain injury."

263
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,314
[Carter] Whoa, okay, look, it seems like

264
00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:13,626
your future husband
knows Dank and Dabby.

265
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,174
[Jenny] Oh, great.

266
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,744
Maybe they're not friends.
Maybe they just met.

267
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,985
[inaudible dialogue]

268
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,723
- [Olivia] That took some practice.
- [Carter] Mm-hm.

269
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,401
[Maria] It's like they're on a team

270
00:16:33,464 --> 00:16:35,354
and they're celebrating sports points.

271
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:40,032
Well, I don't care if he's friends
with them. I can change him.

272
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:43,469
The point is, he knows Dank and Dabby,
so we can just ask them.

273
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,171
Ah! Yes, you're right.

274
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,440
Charlie's Carters has a lead.

275
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,153
[knocking on door]

276
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,589
[Travis] Mom, it's me and Pete.

277
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,325
Uh, just a second.

278
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,763
Uh, send Pete in first.

279
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,329
[Pete yelps]

280
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:22,375
No, no, no.
That was my happy-to-see-you swivel.

281
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,510
It felt very aggressive.

282
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:30,249
Mom... Pete has something
he'd like to say to you.

283
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,251
No, no. I wanna say something first.

284
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,186
Pete, I'm sorry.

285
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,790
How could you know you were forbidden
to see Tae Kwon Doug?

286
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,560
You... You didn't know. But now you do.

287
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,062
You're forbidden
from seeing Tae Kwon Doug.

288
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,698
He's a shit bird.

289
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,634
So, we cool?

290
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,203
- I guess.
- Great.

291
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,638
Welcome back to Team Me.

292
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,440
Oh, no, no, no. [gibbers]

293
00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,121
Pete?
294
00:17:58,387 --> 00:17:59,512
Ruth...

295
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,584
I would like to continue taking lessons
from Tae Kwon Douglas.

296
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,148
I see.

297
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,724
Well... I suppose this is good timing.

298
00:18:11,999 --> 00:18:13,225
'Cause I, uh...

299
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,528
I just had a boba tea and...

300
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,297
my esophagus is
nicely lubed so you can...

301
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,368
reach right in and rip my heart out!

302
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,804
- No, no.
- No. All right?

303
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,372
No. No bullying people.

304
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,608
All right?
Especially when they're sensitive.

305
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,176
Hey. Here you go, buddy.

306
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,311
- [gasping]
- Yeah. Yeah.

307
00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:33,813
Yeah.

308
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,751
Look at what you've done to Pete.
He can barely smoke weed.

309
00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:44,590
Pete.

310
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,692
Pete, Pete, Pete.

311
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,327
Come on, be honest.

312
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,830
You really like taking those lessons?

313
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:56,168
No, but... I do like Douglas.

314
00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:00,906
Well, do you promise
to like me better than him?

315
00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:06,212
Uh...

316
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:08,447
Just say yes and go!

317
00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:10,316
Go!

318
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,356
[Dabby] Yeah, that's definitely us.

319
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,726
Yeah, you can tell
because that's her and that's me.

320
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,495
[laughs] You're so smart.

321
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,527
But this guy with the motorcycle helmet
who wants to marry me,

322
00:19:25,552 --> 00:19:26,564
who's he?

323
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:27,836
[grunts]

324
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,335
What do you mean, "ugh"?

325
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,937
What part of "ugh" don't you understand?

326
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,774
Wait, hold on a second, you guys.

327
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:38,377
This guy looks a lot
like my cousin Paul...

328
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,614
who died 13 years ago.

329
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,919
Oh, shit. We hugged a ghost!

330
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,223
- Oh, my God. Boo.
- Whoa! Boo...

331
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:54,260
So, you guys have no idea
who that guy is?

332
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:55,761
You're hugging him like best friends.

333
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:56,829
[laughs]

334
00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,866
Carter, do you have any idea
how many humans, animals and plants
335
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,535
we hug in a given day?

336
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,848
Thirty-two.

337
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,272
One for each day of Black History Month.

338
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,844
Come on, you have to know something
about this guy.

339
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,440
Yeah, 'cause he's not just any guy.

340
00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:15,846
That's L.A. Dude. That's her soul mate.

341
00:20:15,922 --> 00:20:17,830
Well, I mean, if he's your soul mate,

342
00:20:17,854 --> 00:20:19,751
then you just have to trust in destiny.

343
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,254
Yeah. That's how we met.
At Stanford Medical School.

344
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:23,568
[giggles]

345
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,693
You went to Stanford Med School?
I was wait-listed there.

346
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,562
- Well, they just let us right in.
- Mm-hm.

347
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:36,736
[man over PA] <i>Okay. That concludes</i>
<i>the Cannabis Tolerance Study.</i>

348
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:37,937
<i>Can we clear the smoke?</i>

349
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,640
[vacuum blowing]

350
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:02,928
Get on my back.

351
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,535
Oh, wait, that wasn't us.
We met at Pollo Loco. [laughs]

352
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,438
Oh, you're right.

353
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:15,307
- That place has soda!
- Mmm!

354
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,610
- Nom, nom, nom...
- [moaning]

355
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,816
[announcer] <i>Looking for a revolutionary</i>
<i>shaving experience?</i>

356
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:27,820
<i>Try Cannafoam, the first ever
cannabis-infused shaving cream.</i>

357
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:33,325
<i>Cannafoam's unique blend of emollients,
moisturizers and THC</i>

358
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:36,061
<i>transforms your straight,
rigid, inflexible facial hair...</i>

359
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:37,830
[hair] We'll conquer your face!

360
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:40,633
<i>...into docile, tranquil strands
of compliant stubble</i>
361
00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:43,702
<i>too dazed to offer resistance
to the blade.</i>

362
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,539
<i>Shave with the grain, against the grain,</i>

363
00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:49,659
<i>or just tell the hair there's
something cool you saw in the sink.</i>

364
00:21:49,698 --> 00:21:50,743
Let's go!

365
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,679
<i>You'll be rewarded with the closest shave
you've ever had.</i>

366
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:54,814
Ooh. Sexy.

367
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:59,552
[giggling] Oh, my God,
you touched my face.

368
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,394
<i>Cannafoam.</i>

369
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,863
<i>Available wherever cannabis
shaving products are sold.</i>

370
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,970
You know, we can keep looking
if you want.

371
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,474
That's okay.
Maybe he'll come back in again.

372
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:25,511
And if he doesn't,
I'm sure you'll find somebody else.

373
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,479
'Cause you're pretty great.
374
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:30,583
Thanks, Carter.

375
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:37,823
You know... I'm pretty good
at spotting chemistry between people.

376
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,528
And, uh...

377
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:43,362
Jenny, you and L.A. Dude have it!

378
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,778
My self is centered.

379
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,048
My self is centered.

380
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,118
My self is centered.

381
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,855
Okay, I'm self-centered.

382
00:23:15,355 --> 00:23:16,428
Doug.

383
00:23:20,769 --> 00:23:21,867
Ruth.

384
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,436
Doug.

385
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:28,574
[sighs] Ruth.

386
00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:33,445
We need to talk about Pete.

387
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:35,581
Oh, you mean my new student?

388
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:39,118
I mean my employee...
whom I've known since he was 6.

389
00:23:39,523 --> 00:23:40,719
Six, huh?

390
00:23:41,585 --> 00:23:42,655
That's, um...

391
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,424
[voice breaking] That's an adorable age.

392
00:23:48,273 --> 00:23:49,461
Yeah, it is.

393
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,897
And I make it my mission...

394
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,571
to protect and guide him.

395
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:06,002
I don't suppose you've heard much
about his, uh...

396
00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:07,580
odd family background.

397
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:10,215
Oh, yeah, he's painted quite a picture.

398
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,852
Frolicking through the marijuana fields
in hemp diapers.

399
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:19,525
With all his many mothers and fathers,
also in hemp diapers.

400
00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:23,028
You don't get to judge.

401
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:25,597
You weren't there. I was there.
402
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,599
It was a fucking freak show.

403
00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:33,739
How someone could emerge from that
with such a pure soul is beyond me.

404
00:24:35,373 --> 00:24:36,508
I agree.

405
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,847
You know, nothing or no one
should ever hurt that boy.

406
00:24:42,927 --> 00:24:44,083
You're right.

407
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,955
Maybe you and I aren't
so different after all.

408
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,792
No, we're extremely different.
In every way.

409
00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:56,228
Gender, height, worldview.

410
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,230
Also, I can eat cheese.

411
00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:04,103
He told you about my lactose intolerance.

412
00:25:05,037 --> 00:25:07,172
Well, I'll have you know
there are soy cheeses

413
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,208
that you'd swear
were the genuine article.

414
00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:11,810
- You get nothing in here. You just eat...
- Never mind.
415
00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:17,983
The point is, you're Pete's friend...
and he enjoys your company.

416
00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:22,755
So... I approve
that you give him lessons.

417
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:26,125
Even though he doesn't need my approval.

418
00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:31,764
Well, okay. Huh.

419
00:25:37,073 --> 00:25:38,170
Hey, Ruth?

420
00:25:38,885 --> 00:25:39,938
Yeah, Doug?

421
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:44,810
You see that pretzel shop that opened up
next to Keychain Heaven?

422
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:47,212
Ugh. Artisanal mustards?

423
00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:49,848
- Yeah, that's gonna pack them in.
- I know.

424
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,261
You guys still open?

425
00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:04,129
If you're fast.

426
00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:06,665
Can I get a box of Frosted Mini Weed?

427
00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:07,807
Sure.

428
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,487
Thanks. I just need it
before I leave town tomorrow.

429
00:26:10,534 --> 00:26:11,603
Where you headed?

430
00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,806
Taipei. Moving there to teach English.

431
00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:14,932
That's cool.

432
00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:16,182
Like they say...

433
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:19,144
[in Taiwanese] Life is all about timing.

434
00:26:20,979 --> 00:26:22,748
[Jenny in English]
Hey, Travis! I'm leaving!

435
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:25,250
I'm going out the back door tonight
for the first time ever.

436
00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:27,052
Just to see what it's like!

437
00:26:29,007 --> 00:26:30,189
Okay.

438
00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:32,591
Yeah, so that'll be $20.

439
00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:34,760
- There you go. Thanks.
- Thanks.

440
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,029
Hey, enjoy your last night in L.A., dude.

441
00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:50,776
[singing]<i> ♪ Sometimes I feel trapped</i>
<i>In a little box ♪</i>

442
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,846
<i>♪ Inside a big box ♪</i>

443
00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:59,084
<i>♪ People ignore me for the most part ♪</i>

444
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:03,188
<i>♪ Unless they go out of their way ♪</i>

445
00:27:05,991 --> 00:27:10,028
<i>♪ Way down upon the Swanee River ♪</i>

446
00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:13,799
<i>♪ Far, far away ♪</i>

447
00:27:13,866 --> 00:27:15,868
[humming]