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  • Beauty Tames The Beast 3

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    amandahlehle21
    1K views2,230 pages
    The narrator recalls hiding as a child when their parents were murdered during a home invasion. They wake from recurring nightmares of the traumatic event, still haunted by their mother's screams and father's helpless pleas. Though the robbers have long since fled, the pain of losing their family remains deeply etched in their memory and heart.

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    Original Title

    Beauty Tames the Beast 3

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    The narrator recalls hiding as a child when their parents were murdered during a home invasion. They wake from recurring nightmares of the traumatic event, still haunted by their mother's screams and father's helpless pleas. Though the robbers have long since fled, the pain of losing their family remains deeply etched in their memory and heart.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    Download as pdf or txt
    1K views2,230 pages

    Beauty Tames The Beast 3

    Uploaded by

    amandahlehle21
    The narrator recalls hiding as a child when their parents were murdered during a home invasion. They wake from recurring nightmares of the traumatic event, still haunted by their mother's screams and father's helpless pleas. Though the robbers have long since fled, the pain of losing their family remains deeply etched in their memory and heart.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 2230

    CHERYLZI

    KHALI
    Beaut
    yTamesTheBeast

    "
    Whataboutmyhear
    tRandal
    l
    ?Whataboutmyf
    ucki
    nghear
    t?"

    Epi
    l
    ogue

    Iwakeupsweati
    ngandpant
    ing,
    it'
    sbeent
    hesamedream ev
    ery
    daysi
    nceIwas8y
    ear
    sol
    d.The
    memoryisst
    il
    lfr
    eshi
    nmymi ndandmyhearti
    sst
    il
    lbroken.

    HowdoIf
    ightsomet
    hingIdonotknow?HowdoIf
    ightaf
    aceIhav
    enev
    erseen?

    I
    t'
    sbeenahar
    dknockl
    i
    fesi
    ncemypar
    ent
    sdi
    edi
    nthehandsofr
    obber
    swhobr
    okei
    ntoour
    housewhi
    l
    eweweresl
    eepi
    ng.

    Iwaswokenupbyaloudbangonlytof
    indmymot
    herst
    andi
    ngbymybedsi
    de,
    Iwi
    l
    lnev
    er
    for
    gett
    hehorr
    if
    iedl
    ookonherface.

    "
    Hidei
    nsi
    det
    hewar
    drobe,
    behi
    ndt
    hecl
    othes.Nomat
    terwhathappens,
    donotcomeout
    ."

    Shei
    nst
    ruct
    sasshewhi
    sper
    s.

    "
    What
    'sgoi
    ngonmama?
    "Iwhi
    sperbackbutshepushesmei
    nsi
    debehi
    ndapi
    l
    eofhungcoat
    s.

    "
    Ilov
    eyoumybaby
    ."

    Shesaysbef or
    eclosi
    ngthedoor.Iwantt
    ot el
    lherIl
    ovehertoo,butsomeonebudgesi
    ntomy
    room,heragonizi
    ngscreamsri
    ngi nmymi nd.I
    tsoundsl
    ikesomeonei sdr
    aggi
    ngherout
    .
    There'
    snoise,i
    tsoundsli
    kemenar gui
    ng,Icanheardad'
    svoice.

    Myfat
    herhasalwaysbeenast
    rongman,
    notoncehav
    eIseenhisweaksi
    deandr
    ightnowi
    t
    br
    eaksmyhearttohearhi
    spl
    easashepl
    eadsformymother
    'sl
    i
    fe.

    "
    No,
    please.Donott
    ouchmywi
    fe,
    I'
    ll
    doany
    thi
    ng.
    "He'
    scr
    ying,
    Ican'
    thel
    pbutcr
    ytoo.

    Mymotheri
    sscreami
    ngherl
    ungsout
    ,she'
    sbeggi
    ngt
    hem t
    ost
    opbuti
    tseemsl
    i
    keherscr
    eams
    ar
    efal
    l
    ingondeafear
    s.

    Idon'
    tknowwhattheyaredoi
    ngtoherbuttheyarehurt
    ingherandmyf at
    her'
    scri
    esareget
    ti
    ng
    l
    ouder.He'
    sweepingnow,he'
    shel
    pless.I
    fther
    ewasany thi
    nghecoulddotohelpher,
    hewould.
    Thati
    sthetypeofmanIknowhimt obe,hewilldoany
    thingpossi
    blet
    oprotecthi
    sfamil
    y.

    Likeacowar
    dI'
    m hi
    dingi
    nher
    eli
    kemyl
    i
    fedependsoni
    t,t
    her
    e'snoot
    herway
    ,Iam onl
    ybuta
    chil
    d.

    There'
    sthi
    sdeafeningsound, i
    t'
    sabang.Ihearfouroft
    hem,Ican'
    thearmyfat
    her
    'scr
    ies
    anymore,onl
    ymymot her.She'
    swail
    ingandscreaming,i
    t'
    shear
    twrenchi
    ngandIcan'
    ttakei
    t
    anymore.Ihearanotherbangthenshestops,t
    here'
    sadeafeni
    ngsil
    enceforaf
    ewseconds
    befor
    eIhearf
    ootst
    eps.Il
    i
    stencar
    eful
    lyti
    ll
    theyfadeaway
    ,It
    hinkt
    heyaregonebutI
    '
    m notsur
    e.
    Ineedmyparent
    s,Ineedt
    obeinmyf ather
    'sar
    ms.Whyaretheynotcomingf
    orme?

    Whyaretheyqui
    et?Anyt
    hingwil
    ldo,
    ascr
    eam,
    ashout
    .Ev
    ent
    hosehear
    tbr
    eaki
    ngcr
    ieswi
    l
    ldo,
    atl
    eastI
    '
    llknowtheyar
    est i
    l
    lal
    i
    ve.

    "Amar ayoucan'
    tbeserious,you'
    redaydreamingagain?"That'
    smycousinNombulel
    o,Ical
    l
    herLelo.Shedoesn'
    tunderstandmysi t
    uat
    ion,thatI
    '
    m depressedandsometimeslosetr
    ackof
    real
    i
    ty.Sheknowsmyst orybutsay sIwassoy oung,Ishoul
    dhav eatl
    eastgott
    enoveri
    tbynow.
    Shecanbei nsensi
    ti
    vesomet imes.

    "
    You'
    vebur
    ntt
    hepapagai
    n,t
    hatwomanwi
    l
    lhav
    eyourhead.
    "She'
    stal
    ki
    ngabouthermot
    her
    .

    Aft
    ermypar entswerebrut
    all
    yki
    l
    led,myauntandherhusbandtookmein.Ican'tsaythey
    didtheirduti
    esofbeingparent
    stome,theyar
    ethewor st
    .Inf
    actIhatet
    hem,mor eespecial
    ly
    myuncl e.Iswearthatmanhasaspecialpl
    acereser
    vedforhi
    mi nthepi
    tsofhel
    lifnotatthe
    dev i
    l
    'srighthandsi
    de.Hehasdoneunspeakabl
    et hi
    ngstome,thi
    ngsachil
    dshouldnev ergo
    through.

    "
    SorryLel
    o,Izonedoutabi tt
    here.
    "Sherol
    lshereyes,onedayt
    hey'
    ll
    fal
    lof
    f.Wehav
    eat
    ight
    r
    elat
    ionshipl
    i
    ker ealsi
    ster
    s,she'
    stheonlyt
    hingthatkeepsmegoing.

    "
    Youneedtostopthatorel
    sepeoplewil
    lthi
    nkyou'
    recrazy.
    "Shesay s.Lel
    oisl
    oudandhappy
    andfr
    eeandbeauti
    ful
    .She'sl
    ightski
    nned,
    hasdreadlocksthattouchhershoul
    der.Herpar
    ent
    s
    l
    oveherl
    ikeshe'
    sthebestthi
    nginthisworl
    d,t
    heygiv
    eherev ery
    t hi
    ngshewants.

    "Donottel
    lme,youbur
    ntmyfoodagai
    n?"Myheartsi
    nkst
    othepi
    tofmyst
    omachatt
    he
    soundofthatvoi
    ce,
    that
    'st
    heev
    iluncl
    eImenti
    oned.

    Hegetshomef r
    om workar
    oundthist
    ime,bef
    oreIfi
    nishcooki
    ng.Lel
    oi snotall
    owedto
    hel
    p,apparent
    lyIshoul
    dbegratef
    ult
    hatIhavearoofabovemyhead.Thel eastIcoulddoi
    s
    cook,cl
    eanandbeonst andbywhentheyneedsomethi
    ng.

    "
    Lel
    ogot
    oyourr
    oom.
    "Hedemands.

    "
    Dadi
    t'
    smyf
    aul
    tI.
    ..
    "Lel
    otr
    iest
    oexpl
    ainbuthecut
    sherof
    f.

    "
    Isai
    dgot
    oyourr
    oom man.
    "Hebooms,
    Lel
    ofl
    i
    nchesandr
    unsoutoft
    heki
    tchen.

    Iwantedt
    otell
    hernott
    oleav
    emeal
    onewi
    tht
    hismonst
    er,
    butshe'
    saf
    rai
    dofhi
    m asmuchasI
    am i
    fnotmore.

    He'
    sglar
    ingatme,Iknowt
    hatl
    ook.Iknowwhathe'st
    hinki
    ngandI'
    m di
    sgustedbythesi
    ghtof
    hi
    m.Hetakesasteptowar
    dsmeandmyhear tdrops,
    Iwanttorunoutoft
    hiskit
    chenandnever
    l
    ookbackbuthe'
    l
    lcatchmebef
    oreImakeitt
    ot hedoor.

    He'ssti
    ll
    movingt
    owardsme, Imoveback.Idon'
    twanthimtouchingme, myst
    omacht ur
    ns
    eachtimehedoes.Bef
    oreIknowithehasmet rappedagai
    nstthewall
    ,tear
    sfai
    l meandican'
    t
    stopthem.Hesmell
    sli
    keabr ewer
    yandit'
    snauseati
    ng.Ihat
    eev ery
    thi
    ngaboutthisman
    st
    andi
    ngbef
    oreme,
    hisv
    oice,
    hisl
    ust
    ful
    eyes.

    "
    Pleasedon'
    t.
    "I'
    m pl
    eadi
    ngf
    ormyi
    nnocence.

    Hegr
    ins.

    "
    Ili
    kei
    twhenyousaypl
    easeAmara,
    ittur
    nsmeon."Hesay
    sandchi
    ll
    sgothr
    oughmyspi
    ne.
    He'
    sbr
    eathi
    ngdownmyneck,Iwoul
    d'v
    ekill
    edhi
    m bynowi
    fIhadt
    hestr
    engt
    h.

    Myauntdoesn'
    tknowwhatherhusbandhasbeendoi
    ngtome, shemightbesuspect
    ingitbutI
    t
    hinkshe'
    safr
    aidtoconf
    ronthi
    m.HegrabsmybreastandIf
    reeze,Iwantt
    oscream buthehits
    mewhenIdo.

    "
    Youar
    eonel
    uckywomanAmar
    a."Hesay
    s.

    I
    '
    m agi
    rly
    ouf
    reak.

    "
    Ihavefoundt
    heperf
    ectoneforyou.Tomor
    rowi
    sgoi
    ngt
    obeagoodday
    ."Hest
    epsback,
    l
    aughsandwalksawaywhist
    li
    ng.

    Idon'
    tknowwhatt
    hatwasaboutandIdoubtIwantt
    oknow.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    1.

    AMARA*

    “WakeupAmar a.
    ”Iopenmyeyestothesoundofmyuncle’
    swhi
    sper,
    he’
    sontopofme,hi
    s
    handstrappi
    ngmeonbothsi
    des.Myheartstar
    tsraci
    ngatt
    hesi
    ghtofhi
    m,hi
    sheavybodyf
    eel
    s
    l
    iketor
    tureontopmeandhi
    sbr eat
    hisnauseat
    ing.

    Uncl
    e:“Wakeupprincess,
    Timetogo.”Hesmi
    rksbutIdon’
    tunder
    standwhathemeansbyt
    hat
    andIdon’
    tunder
    standwhyhei sontopofmebutIknowhehasbadi nt
    ent
    ions,
    heal
    waysdoes.

    Me:
    “Uncl
    epl
    ease,
    Ican’
    tbr
    eat
    he.
    ”Icr
    y,buthedoesn’
    tseem t
    ocar
    e.

    Thi
    smani
    sbi
    g,asi
    nfatandr
    ightnowhi
    spotbel
    l
    yiscr
    ushi
    ngmyl
    ungs.

    Uncl
    e:“
    Youhav
    ebi
    ggert
    hingst
    owor
    ryaboutt
    hanmecr
    ushi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”Hewhi
    sper
    s.

    IwishIhadsl
    eptinLel
    o’sroom,
    heforbi
    dfr
    om i
    tbef
    orewewenttobed.Nooneev
    erargues
    wit
    hhimi nt
    hishousenotevenmyaunt,
    hetol
    dmetomakemy sel
    fcomfor
    tabl
    eonthecouch.

    Thi
    swashi
    spl
    anIguess.Her
    unshi
    sfi
    l
    thyhandonmyt
    high,
    fearengul
    fsmei
    nst
    ant
    ly.

    Me:
    “Uncl
    epl
    ease.
    ”

    Uncl
    e:“
    Whyar
    eyouwear
    ingt
    his,
    Iwantt
    ofeel
    yourski
    n.”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sashegr
    abst
    hegar
    mentofmyni
    ghtwearandt
    ear
    sgushoutofmyey
    es.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easest
    op.
    ”

    Uncl
    e:“
    Relax,
    Iwon’
    tdoany
    thingtoy
    ou.RememberAmara,y
    ou’
    remypreci
    ousegg,
    onecr
    ack
    andmydreamswill
    comecrushi
    ngdown.Youar
    emytickett
    oabet
    terl
    i
    fe.”

    He’
    sal
    way
    sbeensay
    ingt
    hatt
    ome,
    from t
    hemomentt
    heyt
    ookmei
    n.

    Hepul
    l
    smeupwi
    thhi
    m anddr
    agsmebyt
    heal
    readyopendoor
    .

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”

    Uncl
    e:“
    Woul
    dn’
    tyoul
    i
    ket
    oknow?
    .”

    MyauntandLel
    oar
    esl
    eepi
    ngi
    nthei
    rrooms,
    theyhav
    enocl
    uewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngonr
    ightnow.

    Me:
    “Le…”Hecov
    ersmymout
    hdepr
    ivi
    ngmeachancet
    oscr
    eam.

    Uncle:
    “Don’
    tyoudar
    e,orIwi
    ll
    kill
    youandever
    yonei
    nthi
    shouse.YouknowI
    ’
    mver
    ymuch
    capabl
    eofitAmara,
    Ihavenot
    hingtol
    ose.
    ”

    Ther
    egoesmychance.

    I
    ’m notsurewhatti
    mei ti
    sbutit’
    sstil
    ldarkoutside,
    I’
    m weari
    ngathickonesi
    e,atl
    eastit
    ’s
    prot
    ect i
    ngmefrom t
    hisnightbr
    eeze.Wegeti ntohiscar
    ,Ihavenoideawheretheroadleadst
    o
    butitseemsfarandIhavebeencr y
    ingfrom t
    hemomentwel eftt
    hehouse.May betodaymy
    prayerswil
    lbeanswered,
    may betodayGodwi llhavemercyonme.
    I
    t’
    sbeent hi
    rt
    yminut
    es,heparkst
    hecaratwhatlooksli
    keanabandonedbui
    l
    ding.Thest
    reets
    areempty,t
    here’
    snosi
    gnofhumansonlythepresenceofstr
    eetli
    ght
    sandsoundsofowls
    hooti
    ng.Themoonisupinthesky,andt
    hestar
    sar epl
    aster
    edarounditi
    nal
    lofthei
    rgl
    ory.

    Twomenappr oachhi
    mthemomenthest
    epsout
    ,mysi
    xthsenset
    ell
    smet
    orunbut
    ,wher
    ewi
    l
    l
    Igo?Idon’
    tknowwhereIam.

    Man1:
    “Ist
    hisher
    ?”

    Mywor
    ldshakesf
    rom beneat
    hme.

    Uncl
    e:“
    Yesboss.
    ”Hesoundsl
    i
    keani
    diotr
    ightnow.

    Man1:
    “Whyi
    sshei
    nthecar
    ?”

    Myuncleopensthedoorandpull
    smeout ,ascr
    eam escapesmymout
    hrewar
    dingmeasl
    ap
    fr
    om him.Ist
    aggerbackandalmostf
    allbut,
    oneoft
    hemencat chme,
    hepushesmetot
    hesi
    de
    befor
    eslappi
    ngmyuncleacrosshisf
    ace.

    Man1:
    “Youi
    diot
    ,thi
    sispr
    eci
    ouscar
    go.
    ”

    Thismanwhohasbeendoi
    ngmostofthet
    alki
    ngl
    ooksmi
    xedr
    ace,
    hehasaBr
    it
    ishaccent
    .The
    otheronei
    sbl
    ack,
    hehasn’
    tsai
    daword.

    Uncl
    e:“
    Sor
    ryboss.
    ”

    Hesoundsl
    ikehe’
    ssuckinguptot
    hem butmostl
    yther
    e’sfeari
    nhisv
    oice.Att
    hispoi
    nt,
    Ihav
    e
    f
    igur
    edoutwhatishappeni
    ng.I
    ’
    m onl
    y18,mylif
    ehasn’tbegunyet
    .

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    ogouncl
    epl
    ease,
    I’
    ll
    behav
    eIpr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Theyi
    gnor
    emel
    i
    keI
    ’
    m nother
    e.

    Man1:
    “Ihopey
    ouhav
    ebeent
    aki
    ngcar
    eofherorel
    set
    hebosswi
    l
    lhangy
    ou.
    ”

    Uncl
    e:“
    I’
    m amanofmywor
    dboss.
    ”

    Theblackmanhandshi
    m abag, myuncl
    esmil
    esl
    ikeani
    diotashecl
    ingstot
    hebi
    gheav
    ybl
    ack
    bag.Ihaveacl
    uewhat’
    sini
    t,Ihatehi
    m somucht
    hatIwanttoseehi
    m dead.

    “
    Let
    ’sgosweet
    hear
    t.
    ”

    Themi xedr
    aceguysay sashegrabsmyhand,Iy
    ankedi
    taway.Thepl
    ani
    storunasfarasI
    can,If
    eelapairofhugearmssnakearoundmywaist
    ,whi
    ski
    ngmeup.Iscr
    eam l
    ikemylif
    e
    dependsonit,
    whichitdoes.

    “Wher
    edoyouthi
    nkyou’r
    egoingsweet
    hear
    t?”Heburieshi
    sfaceont
    hecr
    ookofmyneckashe
    sayst
    hat
    ,hesmel
    lsstr
    onglyofal
    cohol
    andnicot
    ine.

    I
    t’
    sthemi
    xedr
    aceguy
    ,Ican’
    tseehi
    sfacebecausehe’
    shol
    dingmef
    rom behi
    nd.

    I
    ’m ki
    ckingandscr
    eamingwhil
    ehetakesmetot
    heblackSUVwi
    tht
    int
    edwi
    ndows,
    myunclei
    s
    gone.Ihear
    dhiscardr
    iveof
    fwhenIattempt
    edt
    orun,hei
    sacowar
    dandIcur
    sehi
    m.Thi
    sday
    wi
    l
    lcomebackt
    ohaunthi
    m,kar
    mawi
    l
    lsoonhav
    eit
    swaywi
    thhi
    m.

    Il
    oseal lhopewhenheput
    smeincarandshutsthedoor,theblackguyisalr
    eadyonthedri
    ver
    ’s
    seat.Thesecondmanissi
    tti
    ngwit
    hmeatt heback,
    Iscream whent hecarstar
    tsmoving.My
    mindt el
    l
    smet heywil
    ll
    etmegoifIkeept
    hisup,t
    here’
    snot hi
    ngmor eannoyi
    ngt omenthana
    screamingwoman.

    “
    Shi
    t,cany
    oushutherup?
    ”

    Thebl
    ackmanbooms.

    Man1:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantmet
    odo?
    ”

    Man2:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    slaphersensel
    essorsomet
    hing.
    ”

    That
    ’senoughtoshutmeup,
    I’
    m cuddl
    eduplikeawetdog.Mybodyr
    efusest
    oli
    stent
    ome,
    I
    can’
    tst
    opitfr
    om trembl
    i
    ngandmylipsfr
    om quiv
    eri
    ng.

    Man1:“
    I’
    ll
    gofor‘
    somethi
    ng’
    .I’
    m notr
    eadytomeetGody
    et,
    I’
    m st
    il
    lenj
    oyi
    ngmyl
    i
    feonear
    th.
    Scarwi
    l
    lmutatet
    hehandthatst
    rokeher
    .”

    Man2:“
    ForgetmeetingGodbr
    uh,youdef
    ini
    tel
    yearnedyour
    sel
    faplacei
    nhell
    ,ri
    ghtnextt
    othe
    dev
    il
    .Youont her
    ightsi
    deandScar,
    well
    ,he’
    ll
    probabl
    yshareasi
    twithhi
    m.”Helaughs.

    Gosh!Whoar
    ethesepeopl
    e?Whatdoy
    out
    heywantf
    rom me?Whathasmyuncl
    edonet
    ome?
    2*

    RANDALL*

    *
    Athi
    shouse*

    I
    t'
    s4am andIhav
    en'
    thear
    danythi
    ngf
    rom St
    ylesandNkomo,
    theyar
    emyt
    rust
    edal
    l
    ies.They
    bet
    terhav
    eagoodexpl
    anati
    onastowhat
    'skeepi
    ngthem.

    St
    yleswal
    ksi
    nthel
    i
    vingr
    oom j
    ustasI
    '
    m aboutt
    odi
    alhi
    snumber
    .

    Me:"Musty
    oual
    wayskeepmewai
    ti
    ngSt
    yles?
    "Ihat
    ebei
    ngkeptwai
    ti
    ng,
    timei
    smoneyandI
    hat
    elosi
    ngmoney.

    St
    yles:
    "Sor
    ryRandy
    ,thatf
    atpi
    gwasl
    ate.
    "

    Me:
    "Di
    dhedel
    i
    ver
    ?"

    St
    yles:
    "Li
    kehehadachoi
    ce,
    ifgol
    ddi
    ggerwasaper
    son,
    hewoul
    dbei
    t.
    "

    Me:
    "Howi
    sshe?
    "

    Styl
    es:
    "Shakenbut
    ,she'
    ll
    liv
    e.Areyousur
    ethi
    sisagoodi
    dea?Wewentagai
    nstourbi
    ggest
    enemyandhewon'ttakeitl
    yingdown.
    "

    Me:
    "Thatol
    dbast
    arddoesn'
    tscar
    eme,
    he'
    sacockr
    oach.
    "

    St
    yles:
    "Let
    'snotf
    orgett
    hathehasanar
    mybehi
    ndhi
    m."

    Me:
    "Anar
    myoff
    li
    es.
    "

    St
    ylesi
    sli
    keabr
    othert
    ome,
    I'
    veknownhi
    m si
    nceIcamet
    ogr
    acet
    hest
    reet
    sofJobur
    gfr
    om
    Ghana.

    Hetaughtmehowtosurviv
    eoutther
    e,Iwasaboyrunningawayf r
    om mydesti
    nyasIhadother
    pl
    ansformyli
    fe.Wesharedafl
    atinHil
    lbr
    ow,Ihadl
    it
    tl
    emoneyf rom backhomeandonceitran
    outwehadtohustl
    e.Thehust
    li
    nginvol
    vedst
    eali
    ng,
    lyi
    ng,manipulat
    ionandafewti
    mesinand
    outofj
    ail
    .

    Her
    ewear
    eyear
    slat
    er,
    Imustsayt
    hehust
    lehaspai
    dof
    fpr
    ett
    ywel
    l
    .

    St
    yles:
    "Youknowi
    t'
    snott
    ool
    atet
    obackdown?
    "

    He'
    sst
    art
    ingt
    opi
    ssmeof
    f.

    Me:
    "Don'
    ttel
    lmewhatt
    odoSt
    yles,
    Iam notachi
    l
    d.Yout
    hinkIdi
    dn'
    tthi
    nkt
    hist
    hrough?
    "

    Isnapathi
    m,her
    aiseshi
    shandsi
    nsur
    render
    .

    Idon'
    tgetwhyhehastobeli
    kethis.Ihav
    en'
    tmadei
    tthi
    sfarbybei
    ngapussyandr unni
    ngt
    o
    hi
    deeachtimeanenemyarose.Ihatecowar
    ds,
    Ihat
    ebull
    shitandmost
    lyIhat
    eli
    ars.
    NTOMBI
    *(Amar
    a'saunt
    .)

    Backatt
    hehouse.

    Nt
    ombi
    :"Ut
    hiwenzeni
    Moses?
    "(Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    )

    Hef
    rownsatt
    hesoundofmey
    ell
    i
    ngathi
    m.

    Moses:
    "Yeyy
    eyuy
    ang'
    rasel
    aNt
    ombi
    maan.
    "(You'
    reannoy
    ingme.
    )

    Ntombi:
    "Ngiy
    ak'r
    asel
    a?Ngiyak'
    rasel
    aMoses?Yousol
    dmybr ot
    her'
    schi
    ldandyou'
    retel
    l
    ingme
    ukut
    hingiy
    ak'
    rasel
    a?God!
    !!Seemyl i
    fe.Whathav
    eImarr
    ied?Uyi
    njamosesyezwa?
    "(You'r
    ea
    dog.
    )

    Moses:
    "Ut
    hini
    ?"(
    Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?)

    Hest
    andsupf
    umi
    ng.

    Nt
    ombi
    :"Idi
    dn'
    tst
    utt
    er."

    Moses:"
    HeeeNt
    ombingathi
    uy ang'
    khohl
    wa.Sesiyaj
    wayel
    anamanj
    e?"(
    Youseem t
    obe
    f
    orget
    ti
    ngwhoIam.We'r
    edisrespect
    ingeachothernow?)

    Nt
    ombi
    :"Yazi
    ungcol
    i
    leMoses.
    "(You'
    resi
    ck)

    Moses:
    "Yeymf
    azi
    !!
    !Ngi
    zo.
    ..
    "(HeyWoman!
    !!Iwi
    l
    l.
    ..
    )

    Het
    hreat
    ens,
    poi
    nti
    nghi
    sfor
    efi
    ngeratme.

    Ntombi
    :"Uzoy
    enzani
    ?Youwantt
    ohi
    tme?Hi
    tmet
    hen,
    ng'
    shay
    eMoses,
    ng'
    shay
    e."(
    Whatwi
    l
    l
    youdo?
    )

    I
    'm al
    lupi
    nhisf
    ace,screami
    ngathi
    m.Heslapsmesohar
    dIf
    all
    ont
    hecouch.Idi
    dn'
    tthi
    nkhe
    wouldact
    ual
    l
    ydoit,
    thismanhasneverl
    aidahandonme.

    Nt
    ombi
    :"Haaa!Moses,
    youhi
    tme?
    "

    Moses:"
    Youaskedforit
    ,nextt
    imey ouspeaktomel
    i
    key
    ourspeaki
    ngt
    oyourusel
    essf
    ather
    ,I
    wi
    llki
    l
    lyouNtombisiy
    ezwana."(Under
    stand?)

    Nt
    ombi
    :"Iwantmyni
    eceMoses,
    Godwi
    l
    lpuni
    shy
    ou.
    "Iscr
    eam athi
    m.

    Moses:
    "Yeahyeah,
    ok'sal
    ayowe'
    reeati
    ngthi
    smoneytogether.Idon'
    tknowwhaty
    ourpr
    obl
    em
    i
    s,y
    ouneverli
    kedher.Nowyou'
    react
    ingli
    kethewor
    ld'
    sgreatestaunt.
    "

    Thismani sheart
    less,
    yes,
    Idi
    dn'
    tl
    ikeAmar
    athatmuch.But
    ,Idon'
    that
    eher
    .She'
    sst
    il
    lmy
    brother
    'schi
    ld.
    Nt
    ombi
    :"Youhav
    eacol
    dhear
    t.
    "

    Moses:"
    Andbecauseoft
    hiscol
    dheart,
    I'
    m amil
    li
    onai
    re.Angi
    thi
    uthand'amapi
    e?Iwi
    l
    lbuyy
    ou
    al
    lthepi
    esyouwant,y
    ou'
    l
    leattoyourhear
    t'
    scont
    ent.
    "(Youli
    kepiesri
    ght)

    Hel
    aughsashesi
    tsbackdownandgoesbackt
    ocount
    ingt
    hemoney
    .

    Nt
    ombi:"You'
    resogr
    eedyformoneyMosest
    hatyouhaveforgot
    tenthedeal
    youmadewi
    th
    Mkhi
    ze.Youowehimy ourl
    if
    e,howwi
    ll
    youexpl
    aint
    hatgir
    l'
    sdisappear
    ance?"

    Moses:
    "Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hMkhi
    zer
    elax.
    "

    Ntombi
    :"Andhowwilly
    oudothatwhenyoucan'tevenspeaktohi
    m wi
    thoutt
    rembli
    ng?Iswear
    Mosesthatmanbett
    ernotcomeformydaughter.Iswearngi
    zof
    unduk'
    loy
    ajustf
    oryou.
    "(Iwil
    l
    l
    earnbl
    ackmagic)

    Heignor
    esme,thel
    ookonhisf
    acesay
    shedoesn'
    tcar
    e.Themoneyhasconsumedhi
    m.How
    wi
    ll
    Iexplai
    nthi
    stomysibl
    i
    ngs?
    3*

    AMARA*

    I
    'vescreamed,cr
    iedandpl
    eadedbutnoonehascometomyrescue.I
    t'
    sbeenf
    orev
    ersi
    nce
    thosemenlockedmei nt
    hisroom,i
    t'
    sabigr
    oom bi
    genought
    obesepar at
    edi
    ntot
    wo
    bedrooms.

    There'
    sasinglebedatthecornerwit
    honebl anketandapil
    l
    ow,asmallt
    abl
    eandachaironthe
    otherf
    arcorner.Theroom haswhit
    et i
    l
    ing,i
    t'
    swallsarewhi
    tet
    oo.Ther
    e'st
    hiscol
    dbr
    eezethat
    hasmyt eet
    hshat t
    eri
    ng,It
    hinktheA.C.ison.

    Iprayedmysel
    ftosl
    eeplastni
    ghtort
    hismorni
    ngr ather,
    itwasstil
    ldar
    kwhenwegothere.I
    coul
    dhardl
    yseethehouseoutsi
    deduetothedarkness,therewerenostreetl
    i
    ght
    s.Themen
    hadtouseatorchj
    ustsoweseewhereourfeetwer eleadingus.

    Ili
    ter
    all
    ywalkedinher
    ewi
    ththem,
    all
    hopewasl
    ostany
    wayandt
    her
    ewasnousei
    nfi
    ght
    ing
    them,Ihadacceptedmyf
    ate.

    Awav eofdisappoi
    ntmentwelcomedmet hemomentIopenedmyey esthi
    smor ni
    ng.Ihav
    e
    beenst
    andingbythesmallwindowsince,
    ther
    e'snot
    hingout
    sidebutt
    hickt
    rees.

    Noroad,j
    ustadenseforestl
    ooki
    ngpl
    ace.IknowI'm att
    hetopfloorbecauseI'
    mlooki
    ngdown
    att
    hecreepyscener
    y.Idontknowwhatmydestinati
    onis.WhatIknowi sthatI
    '
    mterri
    fi
    edoutof
    mywits.

    Ihearfoot
    stepstr
    eadingtowardst
    heroom andmyheartj
    umpst omythroat
    .Theyst
    opatthe
    whitedoor
    ,it'
    squi
    etforawhilebef
    orethedoorknobt
    urnsandthedooropenssl
    owly
    .I'
    m st
    il
    l
    standi
    ngbyt hewi
    ndow, mybodytrembli
    ngandmymi ndconf
    used.

    Atal
    ldarkski
    nnedmanwal
    ksin,he'
    swear
    ingal
    lbl
    ack.Hashi
    shandst
    uckedi
    nhi
    spocket
    s,
    he'
    slooki
    ngatmeashe'
    sstandi
    ngonthedoorway.

    Ican'tt
    ell
    hisf
    aci
    alexpr
    essi
    oni
    t'
    scompl
    etel
    ybl
    ank.Iscant
    hedoort
    henhi
    mthent
    hedoor
    again.

    Maybei
    fIr
    un,
    Icanescapehi
    m.He'
    sbi
    gandI
    '
    mli
    keamousecompar
    edt
    ohi
    m al
    though,
    I'
    ma
    si
    ze34.

    Ithinkhej
    ustreadmymi ndbecausehisfacewelcomesasmirk,
    hefl
    ipshi
    sfootbackanduses
    i
    tt opushthedoorclosed.He'
    sdaunt i
    ng,
    theblackclot
    heshe'
    sweari
    ngseem t
    oaddpowert o
    thedarkaurahover
    ingov erhi
    m.Hi sdemeanorhasmeshakingwithf
    ear.

    HeamblestowardsmeandallIcandoiswat
    ch,
    Ican'
    tmov
    e,myl
    egshav
    erej
    ect
    edme.My
    mindcan'
    tseem tocommuni
    catewitht
    hem.

    Hi
    m:"
    Doy
    ouneedany
    thi
    ng?
    "Hesoundsar
    rogant
    .
    Si
    l
    ence.

    Hi
    m:"
    Wat
    er,
    food,
    abat
    hmay
    be.
    "

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Hi
    m:"
    IfIwer
    eyou,
    I'
    dgetv
    erycomf
    ort
    abl
    e."

    Hi
    sfacebecomeshar
    dashi
    sgazeonmei
    ntensi
    fi
    es.

    Me:
    "Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom me?
    "

    Ihavesomanyquest
    ionsandIdon'
    tknowwher
    etobegi
    n,I
    '
    m mor
    eaf
    rai
    dthati
    fIsayt
    hewr
    ong
    thi
    ng,i
    twi
    ll
    betheendofme.

    Hi
    m:"
    Ther
    e'l
    lbet
    imef
    orquest
    ionsl
    ater
    ."Hi
    sfacel
    oosensup.

    Me:
    "Pl
    easeIwantt
    ogohome.
    "

    Him:
    "Whathome?Wher
    eyou'
    renotwant
    ed?Thi
    sisy
    ournewhomeAmar
    a,l
    i
    keIsai
    d,get
    comf
    ort
    abl
    e."

    Hescowl
    satme.

    Me:
    "Pl
    ease.
    "

    Heshakeshishead,I
    '
    m alr
    eadyi
    ntear
    s.Hesmir
    ksagai
    nwhil
    etaki
    ngafewstepstowar
    dsme
    andtowersoverme.Hisdar
    kaur
    aheaviert
    hani
    twaswhenhewalkedi
    n.Icanhearmyhear
    t
    thuddi
    ngagai
    nstmychest.

    It
    rytomov ebuthe'
    stoofast
    ,hetrapsmeonthewall
    .Iwantt
    oscream butt
    hestr
    engt
    htodo
    soisnothere.Hesmell
    sofexpensiveper
    fumeandni
    coti
    neandhe'
    stooclosef
    orcomfor
    t.I
    wanttogetawayfrom hi
    m.

    Thissuddenl
    yfeel
    sli
    kedej
    avuasmymi
    ndt
    akesmeback,
    remi
    ndi
    ngmeofwhatmyuncl
    ehad
    beendoingtome.

    Me:
    "Pl
    easedon'
    thur
    tme.
    "Icr
    y.

    Him:
    "Thoset
    ear
    saremyweaknessAmar
    a,maybeify
    oustopsheddi
    ngt hem Imightmov
    e
    away
    .Youhavenoi
    deahowlongIhav
    ebeeni
    tchi
    ngtotouchy
    ouandf eelyou."

    Hewhi
    sper
    s,bur
    yinghi
    sfaceonmyshoulderandpl
    ant
    sawetki
    sswhi
    l
    erunni
    nghi
    shanddown
    myar
    m.Ipushhim of
    fbuthe'
    stoost
    rong.

    Hi
    m:"
    Rel
    ax,
    Iwon'
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    oyou.
    "

    Hewhi
    sper
    sinmyearwhi
    l
    ebi
    ti
    ngmyear
    lobe.Ist
    if
    leascr
    eam,
    hiswor
    disnotdef
    ini
    te.

    HowdoIt
    rustt
    hewor
    dsofamanwhohaskeptmel
    ockedup?

    Hi
    m:"
    You'
    ref
    uel
    i
    ngmewi
    tht
    hosesobs,
    youknowt
    hat
    ?"

    Hewhi
    sper
    s,i
    thi
    tsmewhathemeansbyt
    hatandIsmashmyhandagai
    nstmymout
    htr
    yingt
    o
    suppr
    essthecri
    est
    hatwil
    lgetmei
    ntot
    roubl
    e.Ther
    e'saknockatt
    hedoorbut,i
    tdoesn'
    tst
    op
    hi
    mf r
    om grazi
    ngki
    ssesdownmyjawli
    netothecur
    vesofmyneck,I'
    m di
    sgust
    edbyalloft
    his.

    Thedoorcr
    eaksopenandt
    hatmi
    xedr
    acemanwal
    ksi
    n.

    "
    Awor
    d."Themi
    xedr
    aceguysay
    s.

    Thi
    sonehuf f
    sseeminglyannoy
    edandstops,
    het
    akesast
    epback.Hi
    sey
    esar
    efi
    xat
    edonme,
    I
    st
    il
    lcan'
    treadtheexpr
    essiononhi
    sface.

    Hi
    m:"
    Whati
    sitSt
    yles?
    "Hesay
    ssof
    tl
    y.

    TheSt
    ylesguyl
    ooksatmet
    henathi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    "Ther
    e'st
    roubl
    e."Hel
    ooksunset
    tl
    ed.

    Hi
    m:"
    I'
    ll
    bebackpr
    incess.
    "Hewi
    nks,
    tur
    ns,
    thenf
    oll
    owsSt
    ylesout
    .

    I
    nasecondI
    '
    m ont
    hef
    loorweepi
    ng.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    4*

    RANDALL*

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    ssoi
    mpor
    tantt
    haty
    ouhav
    etodr
    agmeoutoft
    her
    e?”

    Isnapathi
    m aswet
    oddl
    etomyof
    fi
    ce.

    St
    yles:
    “Sor
    ryRandy
    ,themeet
    ingdi
    dn’
    tgoaspl
    anned.TheRussi
    ansar
    edemandi
    ng…”

    Me:
    Demandi
    ngwhatnow?Weseal
    edt
    hedeal
    yest
    erday
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “YouknowhowVl
    adi
    mirandMi
    khai
    lcanbe,
    theywantmor
    egi
    rl
    s.”

    Me:
    “Howmany
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Fi
    ft
    y.”

    Me:
    “Nothappeni
    ng.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wehav
    etodel
    i
    verRandy
    ,theyar
    eourbi
    ggestcl
    i
    ent
    s.”

    Me:“
    Nothappening,weagr
    eedon20.Youknowt
    her
    ulesSt
    yles,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotbet
    oldwhatt
    odoby
    t
    hosebl
    oodytwins.”

    St
    yles:
    “Thosebl
    oodyt
    winscanf
    ucky
    ouup.
    ”

    Me:
    “Noti
    nthi
    sli
    fet
    ime.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    St
    yles:
    “Ihopey
    ourar
    rogancedoesn’
    tgetuski
    l
    ledoneday
    .”

    Me: “
    I’
    m notar
    rogant
    ,Ij
    ustdon’
    ttakebul
    l
    shi
    tfr
    om peopl
    e.Youshoul
    dtr
    yitsomet
    ime.
    ”He
    chuckles.

    St
    yles:
    “Wel
    lei
    therway
    ,youneedt
    osor
    tthi
    soutorwe’
    l
    lloseal
    otofmoney
    .”

    Thedooropensandoneoft
    heguar
    dswal
    ksi
    n.

    Il
    ovemyspaceandIli
    kepeoplewhorespectt
    hat.Todayi
    sagooddayorel
    seIwoul
    dhav
    eput
    abul
    lett
    hroughhi
    sskul
    lforwal
    ki
    ngintomyofficewit
    houtknocki
    ng.

    Me:
    “Hey,i
    sthisy
    ourmother’
    shouse?
    ”Igiv
    ehim ani
    nti
    midat
    ingl
    ook,
    hedr
    opshi
    shead
    i
    mmediat
    ely,
    seemingl
    yashamedofhisl
    ackofmanneri
    sm

    Hi
    m:“
    No,
    sor
    ryboss.
    ”

    I
    diot
    .

    Me:
    “Nextt
    imey
    oupul
    lthi
    sst
    unt
    ,youwon’
    tmakei
    tout
    sidet
    hisdoor
    .”

    St
    ylesshakeshi
    shead,
    Iknowhedi
    sappr
    ovesofmyat
    ti
    tudebuti
    t’
    swhoIam andI
    ’
    m not
    wi
    l
    li
    ngt
    ochangef
    orany
    one.

    Me:
    “Speak.
    ”Isayt
    otheguar
    d.

    Hi
    m:“
    Mkhi
    zei
    sher
    e.”

    St
    yles:
    “Whyam Inotsur
    pri
    sed?Thi
    swasboundt
    ohappen,
    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nki
    twoul
    dbet
    hissoon.
    ”

    Styl
    esisal
    laboutpeace,medit
    ati
    ngandshi
    t,hehat
    esvi
    olence.Justdon’
    tst
    eponhi
    stoes
    becausewhenher et
    ali
    ates,
    youwouldwi
    shthegroundcouldopenupandswall
    owyou.

    I’
    veseenhisdarkhear
    tbefor
    eandwhati
    tdoest
    ohim.Itwaswhenhi sl
    it
    tl
    esisterwaskil
    l
    edby
    somel oanshar
    kheowedmoney .Hewentf
    orhi
    m gunsblazi
    ng.Hetookouthiswholefamil
    y,
    eventhedogs.Burntt
    hem al
    iv
    eonebyoneandmadetheguywat chashi
    sfami l
    ywasengulfed
    i
    nf l
    ames.

    Thememoryi
    sstil
    lfr
    eshinmymi
    nd,
    somet
    imesIcanst
    il
    lsmel
    lthebur
    ntbodi
    esandIget
    ni
    ght
    maresaboutt
    hatnight
    .

    Wedoal
    mostev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    oget
    her
    ,knoweachot
    her
    ’sdeepestdar
    kestsecr
    ets.

    Asfortheloanshar
    k,St
    ylessai
    dbecausehi
    sheartisascol
    dasice,he’
    llr
    ipi
    toutandputi
    tin
    hotwatersoitmelt
    s.It
    houghthewasbluf
    fi
    nguntil
    theguy’
    sagonizi
    ngscreamsfi
    ll
    edther
    oom,
    hethr
    ewt hehearti
    nakettl
    eofboi
    li
    ngwater,
    leav
    ingitt
    oboilt
    il
    li
    tstopped.

    Icoul
    dn’
    teatf
    oraweekaf
    terwi
    tnessi
    ngt
    hatscene.

    Therewasnoemot
    iononhi
    sface,
    itwasbl
    ank.Hi
    sey
    eswer
    ecol
    dli
    kehe’
    dlostt
    ouchwi
    th
    real
    i
    ty.

    Til
    lthi
    sdayIdon’
    tknowwhatwasonhi smi
    ndandIdon’tpl
    anonfi
    ndingout
    .Someti
    mesI’
    m
    afr
    aidthathewi
    ll
    turnbackt
    othatper
    son,i
    t’
    sdef
    ini
    tel
    ysomethi
    ngI’
    m notl
    ooki
    ngfor
    wardto
    seei
    ng.

    Styl
    eshatest
    hatsideofhim,
    hemademepromisethati
    fIseeanysi
    gnsthathe’
    stur
    ning,I
    shoulddoanyt
    hingtostophi
    m ev
    enendi
    nghi
    sli
    fe.Thati
    ssomethi
    ngIcannotbri
    ngmy sel
    fto
    do.

    NOMBULELO*

    Ihaveafeeli
    ngthatmypar entsar
    ehidingsomethi
    ngfrom me,noonei swil
    li
    ngtotel
    lmewhere
    mycousinis.Ihear
    dt hei
    rargumentthismorni
    ngbutIcouldn’
    thearexactl
    ywhatitwasabout
    ,
    apparent
    lydaddidsomethingmom di sappr
    ovesof
    .Ionlyhopeithasnothi
    ngt odowit
    hAmara,
    Iknowhehat esherforwhateverr
    easonbutsheissti
    l
    lhisniece.

    “
    What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?You’
    vebeenoutofi
    tsi
    ncey
    ougother
    e.”

    Thi
    sisZuma,
    myboy
    fri
    end.

    We’
    vebeendat
    ingf
    orov
    eray
    ear
    ,Zumai
    snott
    hatf
    ort
    unat
    e,he’
    shadi
    thar
    dinl
    i
    fe.He’
    s
    curr
    ent
    lyt
    aki
    ngcareofhi
    ssi
    ckmotherwhol
    i
    vesi
    nLi
    mpopo,
    hehasaf
    oodst
    andatNoor
    dtaxi
    rankwher
    ehesel
    lsfr
    uit
    sandveget
    abl
    es.

    Myparent
    sdon’tknowabouthim,they’
    dki
    ll
    meiftheyfi
    ndout.Hissocialstat
    usissomet
    hing
    t
    heywouldn’
    tapproveof
    .I’
    vebeenv i
    si
    ti
    nghiminhisshackdail
    yafterschool,
    someti
    mesI
    woul
    dskipschoolorsl
    eepoverinpret
    enceofasl
    eepov eratafri
    end’shouse.

    Me:
    “I’
    vebeent
    hinki
    ngaboutAmar
    a,shewentmi
    ssi
    ng.
    ”Iexpl
    ainmyabsentmi
    nd.

    Zuma: “
    Whatdoyoumeanmi ssi
    ng?Noonej
    ustgoesmi ssi
    ngnj
    e,somet hi
    ngmusthav
    e
    happenedt
    oher.Shedoesn’
    thavefami
    l
    youtt
    here,soshewouldn’
    tjustgo.”

    Thi
    smanofmi
    nei
    swi
    se,
    oneoft
    het
    hingst
    hatmademef
    all
    forhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Mypoi
    ntexact
    ly,
    Ithi
    nkmypar
    ent
    sknowwher
    eshei
    s.Ihear
    dthem ar
    gui
    ngt
    hismor
    ning.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “That
    ’sst
    range,
    whatcoul
    dtheypossi
    blydot
    oher
    ?Unl
    ess…”

    Hehast
    hatl
    ookandIknowhe’
    sputt
    woandt
    wot
    oget
    herbut
    …

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Zuma:
    “Unl
    esst
    heysol
    dher
    .”

    Yohhai
    ,andIt
    houghthewaswi
    se.Hef
    rownsatmeasIr
    oll
    ont
    hebedl
    aughi
    ngmyheadof
    f.

    Zuma:
    “Okay
    ,that
    ’senoughnow.
    ”

    Helooksof
    fendedbut,Ican’
    thel
    pit
    .It
    ’st
    oof
    unny
    .Whatdomypar
    ent
    sknowaboutt
    raf
    fi
    cki
    ng?
    Theyareor
    dinar
    ycit
    izens.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mtr
    yingt
    ost
    opl
    aughi
    ngbutmymi
    ndkeepsr
    epl
    ayi
    ngwhathesai
    dandi
    t’
    sfunni
    ereacht
    ime.

    Zuma:
    “I’
    l
    lbeout
    sidewhi
    l
    eyouent
    ert
    ainy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”Hecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongueasheget
    sup.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    babydon’
    tgo.
    ”

    Isaythr
    oughmylaugh,
    he’
    stoosensit
    ivef
    oraguy.Igrabhi
    sarm,tr
    yingt
    ostophi
    mf r
    om
    walki
    ngawaybutmylaughi
    snothelpi
    ng.Heyankshishand,si
    deeyesmeandcli
    ckshi
    s
    tongue.

    I
    ’
    mlef
    tsmi
    l
    ingnowasI
    ’
    mtr
    yinghar
    dtocont
    rol
    mysensat
    ions.

    RANDALL*

    Wewalkouttotheli
    vi
    ngroom whereMkhizeiswai
    tingf
    orus,
    he’sstandi
    ngandhe’
    snotalone.
    Thi
    sbastar
    dcomest omyhousewi thhi
    szombies,hepr
    obabl
    ythinksshi
    twil
    lgodown.Noton
    myaccount,
    notti
    ll
    Iblowthewhist
    le.Hedoesn’
    tscaremeonebit.

    Me:
    “I’
    m begi
    nni
    ngt
    oli
    key
    ouol
    dman,
    atl
    easty
    ouknowIhat
    eitwhent
    respasser
    ssi
    tonmy
    whi
    tesof
    as.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Cutt
    hecr
    apScar
    ,It
    hinky
    ouhav
    ewhatbel
    ongst
    ome.
    ”

    Hi
    scol
    dtonedoesn’
    tmov
    eme.

    Me:“Youthi
    nk?Reall
    yMkhize?Maybeyoushoul
    dconsi
    derr
    eti
    ri
    ng,
    youknow.Spendsome
    qual
    i
    tyti
    mewi t
    hy ourgr
    andkids,
    grandpai
    sstar
    ti
    ngtol
    oseit
    .”

    Hecl
    encheshi
    steet
    handapuckerf
    ormsbet
    weenhi
    sey
    ebr
    ows.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “You’
    reapi
    eceoft
    rashScar
    ,st
    opcl
    owni
    ngar
    ound.
    ”

    Me:“Maybeyoushoul
    dgetyourf
    act
    sstrai
    ghtbef
    orecomingtomyhouseandaccusi
    ngmeof
    t
    hingsIknownothi
    ngof.Di
    dyoudoyourhomeworkgrandpa?
    ”

    Ismir
    kathim.IknowI
    ’
    m pi
    ssi
    nghi
    m of
    fandt
    hat
    ’st
    hepl
    an,
    Ili
    keseei
    nghi
    sbl
    oodpr
    essur
    e
    escal
    ate.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Don’
    tpl
    aygameswi
    thmeOkol
    i
    e.”

    Hebar
    ks.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tpl
    aygamesMkhi
    zeandwhenIdo,
    Idon’
    tpl
    ayni
    ce.
    ”

    Oneofhisguar
    dsst
    epsfor
    war
    dwhi
    l
    etaki
    ngoutagun.Ther
    e’sf
    iveoft
    hem i
    ncl
    udi
    ngMkhi
    ze
    agai
    nstmeandStyl
    es.

    St
    ylescackl
    es,
    Ijoi
    nhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    poi
    ntt
    hatt
    hingatme.Iwantt
    oseesomet
    hing.
    ”

    Thel
    ookonmyf
    acesay
    sI’
    m notki
    ddi
    ng.

    Heswal
    l
    owshar
    dandst
    epsbackt
    ohi
    sposi
    ti
    onaf
    terMkhi
    zegi
    veshi
    m anod.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Idon’
    thav
    eal
    ldayOkol
    i
    e,br
    ingbackwhat
    ’smi
    neandnoonewi
    l
    lgethur
    t.
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    sst
    atement
    .

    Me:
    “Unl
    essy
    ouar
    etal
    ki
    ngaboutt
    he100kIowey
    ou,
    then…”Ishr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    s.

    St
    yleshandsmeabagf
    ull
    ofmoneyandIt
    hrowi
    tatMkhi
    ze.

    Me:
    “Fet
    ch.
    ”Ihi
    ssandoneofhi
    szombi
    espi
    ckst
    hebagup.

    St
    yles:
    “Anangr
    yol
    dman?Nowt
    hat
    ’ssomet
    hingy
    oudon’
    tseeev
    eryday
    .”

    Mkhi
    zecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue,
    giv
    ingSt
    ylesabl
    ackl
    ook.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Don’
    tinsul
    tmeOkol
    i
    e,Idon’
    ttaket
    hem easi
    l
    y.”

    Dropsofsweathav
    ef or
    medonhi sforehead,
    itwon’tendwelli
    fheexplodes.I
    fpushcomest o
    shove,
    Iam sti
    l
    lcomingoutofthi
    saliv
    e.Noonei stakingwhatbel
    ongst ome.Iclai
    medithence,
    i
    tismine.It
    akeafewstepstowardshim butStyl
    esput shi
    shandout,stoppi
    ngmef rom goi
    ng
    anyf
    urt
    her
    .

    Me:“Wel
    l,
    Idon’tt
    aket
    hreatseasilygrandpa.Youdon’tt
    readonmyt
    err
    it
    oryandt
    hrow
    demandsl
    ikeyouownthisplace.LikeIsaid,
    Idon’
    tplaynice.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Thi
    sisnotov
    er,
    I’
    m comi
    ngbackf
    orwhat
    ’smi
    ne.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youcan’
    tcl
    aim whaty
    ounev
    erhadmsunu.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    esbef
    orewal
    ki
    ngoutwi
    thhi
    sgor
    il
    las.

    Ineedadr
    ink…bl
    oodyi
    diot
    .Whot
    hehel
    ldoeshet
    hinkhei
    s?

    Agl
    assofwhi
    skeyal
    way
    scal
    msme,
    Sty
    lespour
    shi
    msel
    fonet
    oo.Hel
    ooksagi
    tat
    ed.

    Sincewhenisheaf
    rai
    dofthatcockr
    oach?Igl
    areathim andheshr
    ugsbef
    oreset
    tl
    ingdownon
    thecouch.Imakemysel
    fcomfort
    abl
    eont heopposi
    tecouch.

    Me:
    “Andt
    hen?
    ”

    Hebet
    terhav
    eagoodexpl
    anat
    ionf
    ort
    hatf
    ool
    i
    shf
    acehe’
    swear
    ing.

    St
    yles:“
    Thatbast
    ardmeansbusi
    nessScar
    ,awarwi
    tht
    heMkhi
    zesi
    ssomet
    hingy
    oudon’
    twant
    .
    Hi
    sbr ot
    hersar
    ejustasf
    uckedupashim.”

    Me:
    “I’
    mreadyf
    orany
    thi
    ngSt
    yles,
    ifi
    tmeansIgett
    okeepwhatbel
    ongst
    ome.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whydon’
    tyouj
    ustgi
    vehi
    m whathewant
    s?”

    I
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngt
    ir
    edofSt
    yles’
    cowar
    dice.

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    opr
    etendy
    oudi
    dnotsayt
    hatt
    ome.
    ”

    Nx!

    St
    yles:
    “ButRandy
    …”

    Me:
    “Wher
    edi
    dyoul
    osey
    ourbal
    l
    sSt
    yles?
    ”

    Isnapathi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Fucky
    ouRandal
    l
    .”Hef
    rowns.

    Me:“
    No,f
    uckyouStyl
    es.I
    fyou’
    reacowardt
    hendon’
    tdr
    agmei nt
    oit
    ,I’
    m notweakandIwi
    l
    lnot
    bowdowntot
    hatbaboon.I
    ’v
    ebeeninthi
    sgamefort
    oolong,
    IknowwhatI’m doi
    ng.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “She’
    snotwor
    thi
    tman.
    ”

    Youknowwhat
    ?Nx!

    Me:
    “Ify
    oudon’
    twantmet
    obl
    owy
    ourbr
    ainsof
    f,t
    henshutt
    hef
    uckup.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m donet
    alki
    ng,
    noonehasasayi
    nthi
    smat
    terbutme.
    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    6*

    NOMBULELO*

    Ev
    ert
    on(
    Herf
    ather
    ’spl
    ace.
    )*

    Mar
    tha:
    <<Si
    thi
    sangomangi
    hlabel
    eamadl
    ozi
    ,

    ngobami
    na,
    hay
    izi
    yang’
    bhedel
    a.>>>

    Thesearemymot her’
    sfr
    iendsMarthaandTebogo,t
    heyar ecomplet
    elydr
    unk.Theyar
    edanci
    ng
    andsingi
    ngtoBrendaFassie’
    ssong,compl
    etel
    ymessingitup.Eachiscarr
    yingt
    wobottl
    esof
    bear.Ar
    etheynotashamed?Andont hestr
    eetsofal
    lplaces?

    Ther
    e’speopl
    etaki
    ngv
    ideosandpi
    ctur
    esoft
    hem whi
    l
    elaughi
    ng.

    Tebogo:
    <<<Awubhekebabamba’
    ama-l
    ott
    o,

    Abany
    e,babamb’
    um’
    chi
    na>>>

    Shejumpsi
    nwi
    ththatl
    i
    ne,herf
    ingerdi
    rect
    edatmyhouse.Theseol
    dwoment
    hough.Mar
    tha
    seesmeandgr
    absmyar m.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Nombul
    elo,
    come,
    come.
    ”

    Shest
    umbl
    es,
    almostf
    all
    i
    ngonme,
    Iqui
    ckl
    ysl
    i
    det
    othesi
    de.Shesmel
    l
    sli
    keabr
    ewer
    y.

    Martha:“
    Yourfat
    herisabl
    essert
    oday.Lookatus,
    sihappy
    , si
    grand,kumnandi
    ,fut
    h’asi
    na
    st
    ress.Dolol
    oprobl
    ems,dol
    olost
    ress.
    ”(Wearehappy,l
    i
    feisniceandwe’r
    estressfr
    ee.)

    Say
    sthewomanwhowasj
    ustsi
    ngi
    ngt
    oasongt
    hatt
    alksabouthav
    ingpr
    obl
    emsi
    nli
    fe.

    Shebur
    ps,
    loudl
    yso.

    Tebogol
    aughsather
    .

    Me:
    “Si
    s’Mar
    tha,
    whathappened?
    ”

    Mar
    tha:
    “Cal
    lmemam’
    Mar
    tha.Tel
    lme,
    howdoesMosesf
    eel
    aboutt
    aki
    ngasecondwi
    fe?
    ”

    Di
    dshej
    ust
    …

    Okay
    …May
    beI
    ’
    m hear
    ingt
    hings.

    Mart
    ha:“
    Wenamganeaw’funi
    ukus’
    j
    oinernoNt
    ombi
    ?Youcanbet
    het
    hir
    dwi
    fe.
    ”(Don’
    tyou
    wanttoj
    oinusmyf
    ri
    end?
    )

    Tebogo:“Cha,
    cha,chachomie.Ngiy
    abonga,
    uMosesus’
    dudlamaan.Hyisvet.Howwil
    lhe
    sat
    isfymeinbed?Cabanganje,whenhestart
    seat
    inghi
    smoney ,
    uzobeushadei t
    umbl
    edryer
    Martha.
    ”(Nothankyoumyf r
    iend,
    Mosesistoofat
    .He’
    ssti
    l
    lgoingtogai
    nmor eweight
    .)
    Mart
    ha:
    “Ohooo,
    uzoz’
    bona.Mi
    naI
    ’
    llbesi
    ngi
    ng<<<Ver
    saceont
    hef
    loor
    ,takei
    tof
    f,t
    akei
    tof
    ffor
    me>>>(
    Sui
    tyour
    sel
    f)

    Shesi
    ngsof
    ftunewhil
    etwist
    ingherhips,
    theyshouldbesuedforbei
    ngofft
    uneandf
    or
    messi
    ngupthesongstoo.Pl
    us,j
    ail
    timeforthoseterr
    ibl
    edancemoves.

    Whyam Ient
    ert
    aini
    ngt
    his?

    Ihav
    eseenandhear
    denought
    otr
    aumat
    izememywhol
    eli
    fe.

    STYLES*

    Hought
    on(
    Randal
    l
    ’shouse)
    *

    Nkomohasfi
    nall
    yli
    vedupt
    ohisname,hemessedupwit
    hthatstunthepul
    led.Randall
    isgoing
    t
    okil
    lhi
    m,IhaveknownRandal
    lal
    mostal
    lmyli
    feandIhaveneverseenhi
    ml oseitl
    ikethat
    .

    Whowoul
    d’v
    ethoughtt
    hecol
    dhear
    tedRandal
    lwoul
    dhav
    easof
    tspotf
    orawoman?

    I
    ’
    dbedamned.

    Thegi
    rli
    sunknowi
    ngl
    ymel
    ti
    nghi
    sicyhear
    t.

    Ihopeal
    loft
    hisi
    swor
    thal
    ltheenemi
    eswe’
    vegai
    ned.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wher
    eist
    hatasshol
    e?”

    Heshoutsashemar chesdownthest
    air
    s,not
    eRandall
    doesnotshout
    .Al
    thoughr
    uthl
    ess,
    heis
    cal
    m andsoftspoken.Thi
    sconf
    ir
    msmysuspi ci
    ons,
    he’
    scatchi
    ngfeel
    i
    ngswhichi
    ssomething
    hewouldneveradmitto.

    Me:
    “He’
    sonhi
    swayt
    othehospi
    tal
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Whydi
    dyoul
    ethi
    m go?
    ”

    Her
    umbl
    es.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tbi
    temyheadof
    fScar
    ,Ihadt
    odosomet
    hing.Youal
    mostki
    l
    ledt
    heguy
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Thatwast
    hef
    ucki
    ngpl
    anSt
    yles,
    thatbast
    arddeser
    vest
    obebur
    ntal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Hi
    swordsr
    emi
    ndmeofadr
    eadf
    ulpastI
    ’
    vewor
    kedsohar
    dtof
    orget
    ,henot
    icest
    hel
    ookonmy
    f
    ace.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m sor
    rybr
    uh,
    Idi
    dn’
    t…”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sokay
    ,don’
    tst
    ressabouti
    t.
    ”

    Iwalkoutt
    othebacky
    ardwi
    thagl
    assofwhi
    skeyi
    nhandandsi
    tononeoft
    hecouchesout
    side,
    hefoll
    owsme.
    There’
    sabi gingroundpool surr
    oundedbyhar dwooddecks,theinteri
    orher
    eist
    hatofalounge.
    I
    t’
    sacomf ort
    ablesetti
    ng,thankstotheglasswall
    ssurroundi
    ngthishouseyoucanseethe
    i
    nsidefrom here.Randall
    hasat asteofroyal
    tywhenitcomest obuy i
    ngahouseandint
    eri
    or
    decorat
    ions.Livi
    ngbigishismot t
    o,hedoesn’tdocheap.

    Isometi
    mesteasehim abouthowthi
    sroyal
    tythatr
    unsinhi
    sbloodwil
    ll
    eav
    ehi
    m bankr
    upti
    f
    thati
    satal
    lpossi
    ble,
    hemi ghtbeaspenderbutheusesmoneywisel
    y.

    Any
    way,i
    fyouwantt
    ogetal
    ongwi
    thRandal
    lUzeOkol
    i
    e.Donot
    ,Ir
    epeat
    ,donotment
    iont
    he
    wor
    droy
    alty
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Yougood?
    ”

    Hesi
    tsashel
    ooksatmewi
    thwor
    ry,
    he’
    saboutt
    ogomushyonme.

    Ideci
    denott
    oanswerhi
    m becauseIdon’
    tknowt
    heanswert
    othat
    .

    Me:
    “Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Hecl
    encheshi
    sfi
    st.

    Randal
    l
    :“Idon’
    tknow,Ican’
    tthi
    nkst
    rai
    ghtman.Ineedt
    ogetoutoft
    hishouse,
    Ikeepseei
    ng
    hi
    m ontopofher.I
    t’
    sdrivi
    ngmecrazy.
    ”

    Me:
    “May
    bey
    oushoul
    d,I
    ’
    llkeepaney
    eonher
    .Theguar
    dsar
    eher
    etoo…”

    Myphoner
    ingscut
    ti
    ngmeof
    f,i
    t’
    sKhet
    hukut
    hul
    a.Theonl
    ywomani
    nmyl
    i
    fe.

    Khethu:“St
    ylesyouhavetocomehome,y
    ourunclei
    shereagain.He’
    sdr
    unkandbangingont
    he
    door,I
    ’v
    ebeent ell
    i
    nghimtogoawaybuthewon’tbudge.He’
    scall
    edmebyeverypossibl
    e
    raci
    stnameIcant hinkof
    .”

    She’
    ssoundsf
    ear
    ful
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m onmyway
    .”

    Icutt
    hecal
    l
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Jul
    i
    us?
    ”

    Me:
    “Thatbast
    ardpr
    obabl
    ywant
    smoneyagai
    n.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    tyout
    hinky
    oushoul
    dst
    opgi
    ft
    inghi
    m wi
    thmoneyandt
    akehi
    mtor
    ehab?
    ”

    Me:“Andwherei
    sthef
    uni
    nthat
    ?Mywhol
    epl
    anofget
    ti
    nghi
    m addi
    ctedt
    odr
    ugsandal
    cohol
    wi
    ll
    bei nv
    ain.
    ”

    Randal
    l:
    “Yeahbuthe’
    saj
    unki
    enow,
    he’
    slostev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    ncl
    udi
    nghi
    swi
    feandki
    ds.I
    sn’
    tthat
    enoughpuni
    shment?”

    Me:
    “Nope,
    I’
    m st
    il
    lhav
    ingf
    unUze.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Fucky
    ou,
    don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”
    Il
    aughathi
    m.

    Di
    dIment
    ionnott
    ocal
    lhi
    m byhi
    snat
    ivenameaswel
    l
    ?It
    ’sconnect
    edt
    othatr
    oyal
    tyshi
    ttoo.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sy
    ourname?Embr
    acei
    t.
    ”

    Ipathi
    sback.

    Randal
    l
    :“No,
    it’
    smyf
    ather
    ’sr
    epr
    essi
    onov
    erme.
    ”

    Ishakemyhead.

    Me:“
    Ihavetogoman, ifyouneedabreat
    herthendoso.Wedon’
    twanty
    oul
    osi
    ngi
    tandscar
    ing
    t
    hatpoorgi
    rlagai
    n,she’sbeenthr
    oughenough.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Iheary
    ou.
    ”

    Me:“
    Andstayawayf
    rom Cow,
    Iknowy
    ouRandal
    l
    .You’
    veal
    readypl
    annedhi
    sdeat
    hint
    hatsi
    ck
    mi
    ndofyours.
    ”

    Hedoesn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngandIknowhewon’
    tli
    stent
    ome.

    NOMBULELO*

    Ev
    ert
    on*

    IthoughtIwasint
    roublebecauseitwaslateandIjustgothome,onl
    ytof
    indmypar entst
    oo
    stressedtocar
    eaboutmywher eabouts.Thehouseisamess, t
    here’
    semptybeerbott
    les
    scatteredev
    ery
    where,di
    rt
    ydishesallovertheki
    tchen.

    Mom shoul
    dknowI’
    m notgoi
    ngtocl
    eanthi
    smess,i
    t’
    snotl
    i
    keIwasi
    nvi
    tedt
    othepar
    tyany
    way
    .
    So,
    thi
    siswhereMart
    haandTebogo’
    sfunbegan?

    Wher
    edi
    dthesepeopl
    egett
    hemoneyt
    othr
    owapar
    tyandmakeal
    cohol
    rai
    nli
    kemanna?

    Dadi
    spassedoutont
    hecouch,
    itl
    ooksl
    i
    kehe’
    saboutt
    ofal
    lof
    f.

    Thi
    smant
    hough…Howmanyt
    imesdoIhav
    etot
    ell
    him he’
    stoobi
    gtosl
    eepont
    hecouch?

    I
    ’
    m notwaki
    nghi
    m upt
    oday
    ,ifhef
    all
    s,hef
    all
    s.

    Me:
    “Mama,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    She’
    sbeensi
    tt
    ingont
    hef
    loor
    ,dr
    inki
    ngbeerf
    rom t
    hebot
    tl
    e.

    Sincewhendoesshedri
    nkli
    ket
    hisany
    way?Shoul
    dIt
    ell
    herabouthermi
    nionswhoar
    e
    complet
    elydr
    unkoutsi
    deandhavi
    ngapar
    tyfort
    wo?

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Ourl
    i
    vesar
    eov
    erLel
    o,wear
    efi
    nishedmychi
    l
    d.Yourf
    atherhasr
    uinedus.
    ”

    She’
    sbeenr
    epeat
    ingt
    hesewor
    dsl
    i
    keshe’
    sinat
    rance,
    shehasn’
    texpl
    ainedf
    urt
    her
    .I’
    l
    ltal
    kto
    t
    hem t
    omor
    rowwhent
    heyar
    esoberandnor
    mal
    .

    I
    ’
    m st
    il
    lnotcl
    eani
    ngt
    hismess.

    Besides,Ihavebi
    ggerpr obl
    emst oworryabout .I
    ’m pregnant
    ,Idon’
    tknowhowithappened.
    ZumaandIhav ebeenv erycar
    eful,
    weusedpr otecti
    onalltheti
    me.Mom istoosof
    tbutmy
    fat
    her,aaii
    .Thatoldmani sgoingtokil
    lme,ifnott hrowmeoutoft hehouseandwhenhe’s
    donewi t
    hme, I’
    ll
    cringeatthethoughtofhavingsex.

    He’salwaysbeensi
    ngingprai
    sesabouthowproudheisofmeandthatIwi
    llbet
    heonetomake
    hi
    m ar espect
    abl
    emani nthecommunity.Myf
    atherhasanext
    remel
    yhighcaseof‘
    abant
    u
    bazothi
    ni’(
    whatwil
    lpeopl
    esay)syndr
    omeandi t
    ’ski
    ll
    inghi
    m.

    Ihav
    etot
    ell
    Zumaaboutt
    hispr
    egnancy
    ,I’
    m notsur
    eifIwanti
    tbuti
    t’
    sal
    soev
    idenceofourl
    ove.

    I
    fit
    ’saboy
    ,he’
    l
    llookli
    kehi
    m al
    thoughZumai
    snott
    hemosthandsomemanont
    hepl
    anetbut
    he’
    smyZumaandIl ovehi
    m.

    I
    fit
    ’sagi
    rl
    ,shewi
    l
    llookl
    i
    keme.Ionl
    yhopet
    heywon’
    tinher
    itt
    hei
    rfat
    her
    ’sbi
    ghead.

    Ial
    readyseeafut
    uret
    oget
    herwithhim,wit
    houtt
    heshackobv
    iousl
    ybecauset
    her
    e’snowayI
    ’
    m
    rai
    singmykidsi
    naoneroom ki
    tchen/bedr
    oom/sit
    ti
    ngroom.

    Me:
    <<<Weneedt
    otal
    k.>>>

    Itexthim,
    herepl
    iesi
    mmedi
    atel
    y.HeknowsIhat
    ebei
    ngbl
    uet
    ickedandf
    orsomeoddr
    eason,
    he’salway
    sonli
    ne.

    Zuma:
    <<<I
    ’
    mli
    steni
    ng.>>>

    Me:
    <<<I
    nper
    son,
    it’
    simpor
    tant
    .>>>

    Zuma:
    <<<What
    everi
    tis,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeani
    t.>>>

    I
    t’
    sphr
    asesl
    i
    ket
    heset
    hatmakemet
    hinkhe’
    supt
    onogood.

    Zuma:
    <<<Ihav
    etogobuyst
    ocki
    nthemor
    ning,
    youcancomear
    oundabi
    taf
    ter12pm.>>>

    Me:
    <<<Sur
    e.>>>

    Suddenl
    yI’
    m ner
    vous.

    KHETHU*

    Br
    yanst
    on,
    (St
    yles’
    house)
    *

    IloveSty
    leswit
    hever
    ybitofmebutIam t i
    redofhavi
    ngtodeal wit
    hhisuncl
    e,thi
    smancomes
    tothehousebangi
    ngont hedoorwhenev erhefeel
    sli
    keit.Idon’
    tknowhowhe’ sablet
    oopen
    thegate,he’
    ssl
    yli
    kethat.I
    ’
    m sit
    ti
    ngont hecouchwaitingforStyl
    es,i
    t’
    sbeentoolongandt
    he
    shouti
    ng,bangi
    ngandsingingofthatdr
    unkmanhasmehi ghl
    yfrust
    rat
    ed.
    Doesn’
    thegett
    ir
    ed?

    St
    yles:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    eJul
    i
    us?
    ”

    Oh,
    great
    !Fi
    nal
    l
    y,he’
    sher
    e.

    Jul
    i
    us:
    “St
    yles,
    myboy
    tji
    e.”

    Heshout
    s,hi
    svoi
    cei
    snat
    ural
    l
    yloud,
    Ithi
    nk.

    Juli
    usisAfri
    kaans,hehasthi
    sdeepAfr
    ikaansaccent.Hehatest
    hefactt
    hatI
    ’
    m dati
    nghis
    brother
    ’sson,appar
    entl
    yI’
    mtooblackf
    orhim.What evert
    hatmeans,t
    hatmanisasraci
    stas
    theycome.

    Ir
    ushtost
    andbythedoor
    ,Iwi
    ll
    notopenitj
    usti
    ncasehepl
    anst
    oat
    tack.Somet
    imesJul
    i
    us
    l
    ooksatmeli
    kehewantstomurderme.

    St
    yles:
    “Getoutofmypr
    oper
    tyJul
    i
    us.
    ”

    Jul
    i
    us:
    “Ist
    hist
    hewayt
    ospeakt
    oyourf
    ather
    ?”

    Hesoundssowast
    ed.

    St
    yles:
    “Youar
    enotmyf
    ather
    .”

    Icanheart
    heangeri
    nhi
    stone.

    Jul
    i
    us:“
    Heysonni
    e,y
    ourf
    atherdeni
    edy
    ouandbecauseI
    ’
    m hi
    sbr
    other
    ,thatmeansI
    ’
    mtheonl
    y
    pa’
    youhav
    e.”(
    Fat
    her)

    IknowSt
    ylesi
    sli
    vi
    dri
    ghtnow,
    butt
    hankf
    ull
    yhe’
    sal
    way
    sbeencal
    m sohe’
    l
    lhandl
    ethi
    swel
    l
    .

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    ret
    est
    ingmypat
    ienceJul
    i
    us.
    ”

    May
    beIspoket
    oosoon.

    Jul
    i
    us:
    “Okay
    ,okay
    .I’
    m gone,
    giv
    emeahundr
    edt
    her
    e.Ihav
    en’
    thadany
    thi
    ngt
    oeati
    nday
    s.”

    Samest
    oryal
    lthet
    ime.

    St
    yles:
    “Whyshoul
    dIgi
    vey
    oumymoney
    ?”

    Jul
    i
    us:
    “Comeon,
    don’
    tbel
    i
    ket
    hatSt
    ylesi
    e.”

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Jul
    i
    us:
    “I’
    l
    lst
    opi
    fyougi
    vemehundr
    edbucks.
    ”

    Ther
    e’ssi
    l
    encef
    oraf
    ewsecondsbef
    oreJul
    i
    usst
    art
    slaughi
    ng,
    Sty
    leshaspr
    obabl
    ygi
    venhi
    m
    themoney.

    St
    yles:
    “Her
    e,nowgo.
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.
    Jul
    i
    us:
    “Daarsy
    .I’
    l
    lbebackSt
    ylesi
    e.Yeses!You’
    rest
    ingyman.
    ”(Ther
    eyougo.
    )

    He’
    sungr
    atef
    ull
    i
    ket
    hat
    ,thedooropens.Ourey
    esmeetandI
    ’
    minhi
    sar
    msi
    nasecond.

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Hecar
    essesmycheek,
    Inod.

    Me:
    “Can’
    tyoudosomet
    hingabouthi
    m comi
    ngher
    e?”

    Iaskashel
    eadsmet
    othecouch,
    Isi
    tbesi
    dehi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Wespokeaboutt
    hisKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iknowbaby
    ,but
    …LookIcanspeakt
    omyf
    ather
    .”

    Myf
    atheri
    sapol
    i
    cecommi
    ssi
    oner
    .

    St
    yles:
    “YouknowIhat
    ethi
    s‘daddycanI
    ’mode,
    Idon’
    tneedhi
    shel
    p.”

    He’
    sinsul
    ti
    ngme.Nx!

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m notweakKhet
    hu,
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hthi
    smyway
    .”

    Fouryearsofmylif
    eIhavebeenwit
    ht hi
    smanandti
    ll
    todayIstr
    uggl
    etogetusedt
    ohi
    smood
    swings,t
    heychangeli
    ketheweat
    her.Styl
    esi
    sunpr
    edi
    ctabl
    e,younev
    erknowwhathe’
    sthi
    nki
    ng
    orwhathemi ghtdonext
    .

    Ihav
    en’
    texper
    iencedhi
    sangery
    et,
    somet
    hingt
    ell
    smehe’
    sbot
    tl
    ingi
    tupandoneday
    …

    Justoneday
    …

    Ionl
    yhopei
    tnev
    ercomes.

    Tobecont
    inued>>>
    7*

    RANDALL*

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    *

    I
    ’m atthehospi
    tal
    ,thati
    diotdeclaredwarwit
    hmewhenhel
    ethi
    slustcont
    rol
    him.St
    ylesmust
    notknowmei fhethinksIwill
    sitidleandl
    etthi
    ssl
    i
    de.

    Ther
    e’ssomeoneguardi
    ngthedoor
    ,IknowSt
    yleshasahandi
    nthi
    s.Hest
    opsmeasIpasshi
    m
    andatt
    empttoopenthedoor.

    Hi
    m:“
    You’
    renotal
    l
    owedt
    ogoi
    nsi
    r.
    ”

    Me:
    “Excuseme,
    doy
    ouknowwhoIam?
    ”

    He’
    sbl
    ocki
    ngt
    hedoornow.

    Hi
    m:“
    Iknowwhoy
    ouar
    e,t
    hat
    ’swhyIcan’
    tlety
    oui
    n.”

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    oseey
    oust
    opme.
    ”

    Hest
    andsst
    il
    lasIt
    ryt
    owal
    kpasthi
    m,t
    hisf
    ool
    hasadeat
    hwi
    sh.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lcr
    ushy
    ouboy
    ,gett
    hef
    uckoutofmyway
    .”

    Hi
    m:“
    Irespecty
    ouScarbutMr
    .Si
    shi
    gav
    emest
    ri
    cti
    nst
    ruct
    ionsnott
    olety
    oui
    n.”

    Hesoundsli
    kehe’
    spleadi
    ngwhichIdon’
    treal
    l
    ycar eabout
    ,he’
    spi
    ssi
    ngmeof
    fri
    ghtnow.My
    phoner
    ingsj
    ustasIam aboutr
    eadytopushhim aside…

    Per
    fectt
    imi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    heact
    ual
    fuckSt
    yles?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Getoutoft
    her
    eRandy
    .”

    Howdi
    dheknowI
    ’
    m att
    hehospi
    tal
    ?

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisbet
    weenmeandNkomo,
    youhav
    enot
    hingt
    odowi
    tht
    hisSt
    yles.
    ”

    Sty
    les:
    “Ihav
    eever
    ythi
    ngt
    odowi
    thi
    t,y
    ou’
    remybr
    otherandIwi
    l
    lnotwat
    chy
    oudosomet
    hing
    youwil
    lli
    vetor
    egr
    et.
    ”

    Me:
    “WhatIwi
    l
    lli
    vet
    oregr
    eti
    snotki
    l
    li
    nghi
    m whenIshoul
    dhav
    e.”

    Styl
    es:“Wehavebeenthroughal otwit
    hhim Randy
    ,youcan’
    tjustki
    l
    lhi
    mli
    ket
    hat
    .You’
    l
    lhat
    e
    yoursel
    fandIr
    efusetoletthathappen.”

    Me:
    “Thatbast
    ardmeansnot
    hingt
    ome,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotbeokayt
    il
    lIseehi
    sli
    fel
    essbody
    .”
    Styl
    es:“
    That’
    snoty
    out al
    ki
    ngbutScarandIknowhe’
    sangr
    yandwant
    srev
    engebuty
    ouhav
    eto
    takecont
    rol
    Randal
    l,t
    hinkthi
    sthr
    ough.
    ”

    Me:“Iam notachi
    l
    dSt
    yles,
    donotr
    epr
    imandme.Comehel
    lorhi
    ghwat
    ers,
    Nkomoi
    sgoi
    ng
    down.”

    St
    ylesl
    i
    kespr
    essi
    ngmybut
    tonsandhe’
    sbl
    oodypr
    essi
    ngt
    hewr
    ongoner
    ightnow.

    Styl
    es:
    “Justsoy
    ouknow,
    thatguar
    dist
    rai
    ned.He’
    sreadyt
    ori
    skhi
    sli
    fe,
    youar
    enotgoi
    ngi
    n
    ther
    eUze.”

    Nx!

    Me:
    “Fucky
    ou.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    twor
    ry,
    Khet
    hui
    soni
    tri
    ghtaf
    terIdr
    opt
    hisphonecal
    l
    .”

    I
    diot
    …

    Me:
    “Shebet
    terf
    ucky
    oubackt
    oyoursensesbecauseIam notbacki
    ngdownf
    rom t
    his.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsanddr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    .

    AMARA*

    Randal
    l
    ’shouse.
    *

    ThatRandal
    lguysaidgetcomf or
    tabl
    eandthat’
    swhatIhav edone,Ineededalongbathaft
    er
    notbat
    hingfort
    woday s.Ithel
    pedmer el
    ax,t
    heclosetissobigandf ul
    lofnewclot
    hes.My
    tast
    eandsizeactual
    ly
    ,it
    ’sli
    kealloft
    hiswasplanned.Ther
    e’sever
    y t
    hingini
    t,f
    rom dr
    esses,
    j
    eans,t
    racksuit
    sandsockst osleepwear.

    Knowinghowthishouseisfl
    oodedwit
    hmenwhosepl ansformeIknownothi
    ngof ,
    Ioptedf
    ora
    tr
    acksuit
    .Ihav
    et ohi
    demybody ,I
    ’v
    elostal
    otofweighti
    njustt
    hesetwodays.Ihavebags
    undermyeyes,I
    ’m dr
    ained,
    weakandmyspiri
    tisdown.

    Thebedr
    oom i
    sbiggert
    hanther
    oom Iwasl
    ockedi
    n,i
    t’
    swar
    m,hasapr
    operbedwi
    thbeddi
    ng
    andpi
    ll
    ows,
    whiteandTurki
    shbl
    uei
    ncolour
    .

    Twowoodenchair
    sarepl
    acedoneachsideoft
    hewindow,y
    es,
    ther
    e’sanor
    malbigwindow
    dr
    apedwi
    thaturquoi
    secur
    tai
    n.Ther
    e’sasmall
    tabl
    eandtwochai
    rsint
    hemiddl
    eoftheroom.

    Whoev
    erdecor
    atedt
    hisr
    oom hadt
    hewor
    dcomf
    yinmi
    nd.

    Ther
    e’sasl
    idi
    ngdoorleadi
    ngtoabalcony
    ,abeaut
    if
    ulgardenwit
    hlol
    l
    ipoptr
    eesanddi
    ff
    erent
    ki
    ndsoffl
    owersasthestarcastoft
    hatbr
    eat
    htaki
    nggarden.Thegar
    denermustl
    ovehi
    swork.

    Icanseet
    hehi
    ghwayf
    rom t
    hisv
    iew.I
    t’
    sver
    yfarf
    rom her
    e,t
    hati
    twoul
    dtakemet
    hewhol
    eday
    t
    opr
    obabl
    ygett
    her
    e.

    Idi
    dthinkofjumpi
    ngoutthebal
    conyandrunni
    ngoutt
    hatdoorbutt
    heyareal
    llocked.So,
    I’
    ve
    beenstandi
    ngbythesl
    idi
    ngdoor,st
    ari
    ngatthecar
    s.I
    t’
    stheonl
    ythi
    ngthatl
    ooksr eal
    tome
    ri
    ghtnow.

    Ther
    e’saknock,t
    henanelderl
    ywomanprobabl
    yinherear
    lyf
    if
    ti
    eswal
    ksi
    n.Idon’
    tknowwhy
    sheknocked,
    thedoorwasbloodyl
    ocked.

    Shesmi
    l
    est
    hemomentourey
    esmeet
    ,Idon’
    thav
    eiti
    nmet
    oret
    urni
    t.

    Her
    :“Hi
    ,youl
    ookr
    efr
    eshed.
    ”

    ShehasaNi
    geri
    anaccent
    ,Idon’
    tanswerher
    .I’
    m st
    il
    lst
    andingbythewi
    ndow,myar
    msfol
    ded
    acr
    ossmychest
    .Sheputsthetr
    ayofwarmfood,wi
    thaglassofjui
    ceonthet
    abl
    eandl
    ooksat
    me.

    Her:“
    Wordofadv
    icemygir
    l,y
    ouneedtostopthi
    nki
    ngal
    ot.I
    twi
    l
    lonl
    ymakey
    ousi
    ck.Li
    stent
    o
    Mr.Okol
    i
    e.Heonlywant
    swhat’sbestf
    ory
    ou.”

    Nx!AndBar
    akObamai
    smyf
    ather
    .

    Imi
    ghtbenaï
    vebutI
    ’
    m notst
    upi
    d.

    Me:
    “Bykeepi
    ngmel
    ockedupagai
    nstmywi
    l
    l?”

    Shel
    ooksatme,befor
    edr
    aggi
    ngherf
    eetoutt
    hedoor
    .Ihearherl
    ocki
    t,I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngtoeatthat
    st
    upi
    dfood.Iwi
    l
    lstarv
    emysel
    fti
    l
    lmybodygiv
    esuponme, Iwoul
    drat
    herdi
    ethanbehere.

    RANDALL*

    Atsomeapar
    tmenti
    nRandbur
    g.*

    Aftert
    hatphonecal
    lwi
    thSt
    ylesIdeci
    dedt
    ogobl
    owoffsomest eam,thest
    upidguardis
    stubbor
    n.Idon’
    tknowhowStyl
    esknewIwasatt
    hehospi
    tal
    ,thefactt
    hathe’
    sunpredict
    abl
    e
    fr
    eaksmeout .

    Wit
    hhim,youhavet
    otr
    eadcar
    eful
    l
    y.Onesl
    i
    pupandy
    ou’
    ref
    ucked,
    hecanbeasi
    ckbast
    ard
    whenprov
    oked.

    Atl
    eastI
    ’
    m comf
    ort
    edbyt
    hef
    actt
    hathewoul
    dtakeabul
    l
    etf
    ormeandIwoul
    ddot
    hesamef
    or
    hi
    m.

    I
    ’m atapl
    aceIshoul
    dn’
    tberi
    ghtnow,
    looki
    ngatthi
    ssexywomanstandingbefor
    eme.
    SomehowIalwaysfi
    ndmysel
    fherewhenI’
    m angr
    yandfeel
    li
    keI
    ’m abouttoexpl
    ode,
    she’
    snot
    theonl
    yone.

    I“
    puf
    fandpass”sot
    heydon’
    tcat
    chf
    eel
    i
    ngs.
    Thisonehasbeenaroundf orawhi
    le,she’
    sabitofahard-cor
    e,whichisgoodformebecause
    shewon’tbecat
    chi
    ngf eeli
    ngsanyti
    mesoon.Iwouldbel y
    ingifIsayIknowhername,Idon’
    t
    al
    lowthem tot
    alkt
    ome, ki
    ssingi
    snotallowedandtheyarenotall
    owedt ouncl
    othemeeit
    her.

    Wedowhatwedoandgooursepar
    ateway
    s.Icannameawhol
    elotoft
    hingswe’
    vedonei
    nthi
    s
    apar
    tment
    .

    Thatgazei
    nherey
    essay
    sshewant
    sme,
    she’
    sal
    way
    sreadyt
    oser
    viceme.

    I’
    vebeensit
    ti
    ngonthi
    sbedcontempl
    ati
    ngwithmy
    sel
    f,t
    her
    e’st
    hist
    hingf
    orci
    ngmet
    oleav
    ebut
    Iwil
    lnotbecont
    rol
    l
    ed,Iam myownperson.

    Shel
    ooksr
    est
    lessandi
    rr
    it
    atedasIkeepherwai
    ti
    ng.

    Her
    :“I
    …”

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttal
    ktome.
    ”

    JustwhenIt
    houghtshe’
    shar
    d-cor
    e,shet
    ri
    est
    obr
    eakt
    her
    ules.Shebet
    ternotbef
    eel
    i
    ngme.

    Me:
    “St
    ri
    p.”

    Icommandandshest
    ri
    psnakedwi
    thaseduct
    ivesmi
    l
    edanci
    ngonherf
    ace,
    Ifeel
    rat
    her
    annoy
    edbyit
    .

    Amaraoccupi
    esmymi ndandt
    hatf
    orcesmet otr
    ysomethi
    ngdif
    fer
    ent,
    justsoIcangetherout
    ofmymind.Ipul
    lthewomant omeandravenousl
    ykissher
    .Shesmil
    esthrought
    hekiss,her
    armsar
    ehookedar oundmyneck.

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveI
    ’
    m br
    eaki
    ngmyownr
    ules.

    Li
    keafreshmemory,
    Amara’
    ssweetinnocentf
    aceflashesbef
    oremecompel
    l
    ingmet
    ost
    op,
    I
    pusht
    heladyawayasIst
    aggerbackabit
    .Shefrowns.

    Her
    :“Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Iguessshethi
    nkstherul
    esareoffthetabl
    e,It
    akeherinmyarmsagain.Ther
    e’snofeel
    i
    ngin
    thi
    skiss,
    it’
    sdr
    yandmeani ngl
    ess.Ipushhertoli
    eonthebedandshesmi l
    eswidel
    y,I
    ’mtry
    ing
    byallmeansnott
    ot hi
    nkaboutAmar aandmay beaf
    terthi
    sshe’
    l
    lbeoutofmymi nd.

    Igeti
    nbet
    weenherl
    egsandbegi
    npl
    ant
    ingki
    ssesal
    lov
    erherbody
    .

    Her
    :“OhRandy
    .”

    Thesoundofherv
    oicei
    srui
    ningt
    hemomentsoIcov
    erhermout
    hst
    oppi
    ngherf
    rom speaki
    ng.

    IseeAmara’
    sfaceagai
    nandt
    hist
    imei
    tcompel
    smet
    ost
    op,
    Ijumpf
    rom t
    hebedandr
    ushout
    ofther
    e.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    8*

    Randal
    l
    *

    I
    ’
    m bei
    ngt
    ail
    ed,
    Inot
    icedt
    hebl
    ackcarwhenIent
    eredMal
    i
    bongweDR.

    Idecidednottodri
    vehomejusttoseeift
    hei
    diotwasreal
    lyonmytail
    .HereIam awhi
    l
    elat
    er
    sti
    l
    ldr i
    vi
    ngaround,Iknowi
    t’
    sthatbaboonMkhize.He’
    ssooldnowthathemakessuch
    mistakes.

    St
    yles:
    “Forapr
    ince,
    yourt
    imi
    ngsucks.
    ”

    He’sbreat
    hingheavi
    l
    y,t
    heidi
    oti
    shavi
    ngsex.Iknowheal
    way
    sanswer
    smycal
    l
    sont
    hesecond
    r
    ing,buthecouldhavej
    usti
    gnor
    edit
    .

    I
    ’
    m anunder
    standi
    ngper
    son.

    Me: “
    Forsomeonewhodoesn’tbeli
    eveinmarri
    age,
    you’
    resurehavi
    ngyourwaywithDladla’
    s
    daughter
    .Don’
    ttel
    lmeyou’
    restil
    latitSi
    shi
    .Letmeremindyouincaseyou’
    vefor
    gott
    en, her
    fat
    herisapoli
    cecommi
    ssioner.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantRandal
    l
    ?I’
    m busy
    .”

    Hesnaps,
    Ilaughathi
    m.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’samonkeyt
    ail
    i
    ngme.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Mkhi
    ze?
    ”

    “
    Babygetof
    fthephone.
    ”

    Khet
    hucompl
    ains,
    shesoundsf
    rust
    rat
    ed.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    l
    lcal
    lyoubackj
    ustnow.
    ”

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?Ar
    eyout
    hatf
    ast
    ?”

    Hel
    aughsanddr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    .I’
    m st
    il
    lbei
    ngf
    oll
    owed,
    soIsl
    owdownj
    ustt
    opasst
    ime.

    Normall
    yIwouldknowwhattodoi
    nasituati
    onl i
    kethisbut
    ,sinceAmara,Ihav
    etothi
    nktwi
    ce
    befor
    eacti
    ng.I
    fIdri
    vetomyhousewher
    et here’
    sguards,Icouldberi
    ski
    ngherlif
    e.Mkhi
    zei
    s
    aft
    erherwi
    thredeyesandIknowwhatt
    hef uckeriscapabl
    eof .

    IoweAmar amyli
    fe,shei
    smynumberonepr
    ior
    it
    y.Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ghtany
    onet
    opr
    otecther
    ,Iwi
    l
    lev
    en
    fi
    ghtheri
    fthatmeansshe’
    ssaf
    e.

    Ihadtot
    akeherbyf orce,I
    ’
    drat
    herhaveherthi
    nkshewasboughtt hanlett
    hatsicksonofa
    bit
    chMkhizetakeher.Ihadanopti
    onto,
    eit
    hertel
    lheraboutheruncle’
    sevi
    ltact
    icsandaskher
    tocomewi t
    hme.Whi chsoundsextr
    emelyi
    nsaneconsider
    ingthatI’
    m astr
    angerorIcoul
    dhave
    kil
    l
    edMkhize,butt
    hatwoul dmeananunendi
    ngwarwi t
    hhisfami l
    y.
    AMARA*

    Ij
    umpuptothesoundofgunshots,i
    tsoundsli
    keawaroutther
    eandIcan’
    tseem t
    omakeout
    what
    ’sr
    eal
    l
    ygoingon.Arethesepeopl
    efight
    ingeachot
    her
    ?Am Iindanger
    ?

    Iknowt
    hehousei
    ssurr
    oundedbybodyguar
    ds,thel
    adywhobroughtmef oodt
    oldmet
    his.She
    sai
    dIwon’
    tbeabl
    etoescapewi
    thoutbei
    ngseenso,Imi
    ghtaswellacceptmyfat
    e.

    Whatki
    ndofawomani
    sshe?

    Doesn’
    tshehav
    eki
    ds?

    It
    houghtshewouldhavemercyonmeandhelpmeescapeso, whenIhi
    ntedaboutf
    leei
    ngshe
    bl
    urt
    edoutthesewordstome.Icant
    ell
    shecaresaboutt
    hisRandal
    lguy
    .

    Idecidetopeept hr
    oughthewindowmay beI’
    l
    lcat
    chagli
    mpseofwhat’
    shappeni
    ngbutther
    e’s
    nothing,i
    tlookssopeaceful
    from t
    hisv
    iew,Ir
    untowar
    dsthesl
    i
    dingdoort
    oseeifther
    e’sal
    so
    anythingthere.

    ThemomentIpeek,Iseet
    histal
    lscarylookingwhiteman,heseesmeandabonechill
    i
    ngsmir
    k
    for
    msonhismouth.Iduckbutit
    ’stoolate,notl
    aterthanasecondIhearscr
    eamsofawoman.

    “
    Chest
    anzae?
    ”(Whi
    chr
    oom i
    sit
    ?)

    Al
    ouddeepmal
    evoi
    ceshout
    sinaf
    orei
    gnl
    anguage,
    itsoundsl
    i
    kehe’
    sout
    sidemydoor
    .

    Mysixthsensewor
    ksovert
    imetel
    li
    ngmeIshouldhideundert
    hebed,t
    her
    e’smorevoi
    ces.I
    can’
    treal
    lymakeoutwhatt
    heyaresay
    ingbutIknowtheyareher
    eformeandthei
    rint
    enti
    ons
    arenotgood.

    I
    fIwer
    efr
    om ar
    ichpower
    ful
    fami
    l
    yIwoul
    dthi
    nkt
    heyar
    eher
    etor
    escueme…

    Thedoorswi
    ngsopen.

    “
    Dev
    eesser
    equi
    .”(
    Shemustbei
    nher
    e.)

    Thesamev
    oicesay
    s,t
    her
    e’st
    wooft
    hem.Icanonl
    yseet
    hei
    rfeet
    .

    “
    Noncenessunoqui
    Franco.
    ”(Ther
    e’snooneher
    eFr
    anco)

    Theotherguysays,
    Ihav
    efi
    gur
    edoutt
    hatt
    heyar
    espeaki
    ngI
    tal
    i
    an.But
    ,whatcoul
    dthey
    possi
    blywantfr
    om me?

    There’
    sanuncomf
    ortabl
    esil
    encef
    orawhilebef
    oreIf
    eelsomeonesnat
    chmyleg,
    Iscr
    eam as
    theydr
    agmef r
    om undert
    hebed.I
    t’
    stheguyIsawoutsi
    de,hegi
    vesmethesamesmir
    k.

    “
    Ohcar
    a,eunabel
    l
    ezza.
    ”(Ohdear
    ,she’
    sabeaut
    y.”

    Hedi
    gshi
    sfi
    nger
    sdeepi
    ntomycheeksashesay
    sthat
    ,it
    ’spai
    nful
    butt
    oler
    abl
    e.
    Ihav
    en’
    tsai
    dany
    thi
    ngy
    et,
    fearhasmadememut
    e.Hegagsmymout
    hbef
    oreIcoul
    dscr
    eam.

    RANDALL*

    St
    ylescal
    l
    sback.

    Me:
    “Letmecal
    lyouback,
    I’
    vegotguest
    s.”

    I
    ’m sur
    rounded,t
    here’
    stwocar
    sbehindmeandanSUVinfront.Mkhi
    zest
    epsoutoft
    heSUV
    wit
    hhisbrotherMusaandson,Idon’
    tknowwhi
    chonebecausethedi
    ckheadhassomanyof
    t
    hem.Theyar earmed.

    Ij
    umpoutoft
    hecar,
    Ihavel
    i
    ttl
    eScaronmyhand,
    loadedandr
    eadyf
    oract
    ion.Theyhav
    ethei
    r
    gunsdr
    awnoutaswell
    .

    Me:
    “Damn!Wr
    ongdayt
    opi
    ssmeof
    fMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Gooddayt
    odi
    ethough?
    ”

    Il
    augh,
    he’
    sani
    dioti
    fhet
    hinkshecanact
    ual
    l
    yki
    l
    lme.

    Me:“
    Webot
    hknowifyouwantedt
    okill
    me,youwoul
    dhav
    epul
    l
    edt
    hatt
    ri
    ggeral
    ready
    .Youcan’
    t
    ki
    l
    lmeMkhi
    ze,
    eveninyourwi
    l
    destfant
    asi
    es.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Yout
    hinkI
    ’
    m af
    rai
    dofy
    ou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Iknowy
    ou’
    reaf
    rai
    dofme.
    ”

    Musa:
    “Baf
    oDubul
    alenj
    a.”(
    Brot
    her
    ,shoott
    hisbast
    ard)

    Me:“Ihi
    ghlydoubtthat
    ’sagoodi dea.Mydeathwill
    havey ourfami
    lycur
    sedf orgener
    ati
    onsto
    come,evenyourgreat,
    greatgrandchil
    drenwil
    lpayfori
    t.Tell
    him‘baf
    o’tel
    lyouril
    li
    ter
    atebr
    other
    whatkil
    l
    inganOkoliewill
    dot oyourfami l
    y.
    ”

    Isayl
    ooki
    ngatMkhi
    ze,
    ther
    e’sabi
    toff
    earr
    efl
    ect
    ingonhi
    sface.

    Musa:
    “You’
    rebl
    uff
    ing.
    ”

    Me: “Reall
    y?Tr
    ustme, y
    oudon’twanttof i
    ndoutifI
    ’m bluf
    fi
    ngornot .Ohand…Ialsohav ea
    brother.Thedi
    ff
    erencewit
    hmi neisthathecanturnintoafuckingpsychowhogoesar ound
    kil
    li
    ngany onewhowasi nv
    olvedinkil
    li
    nghisdearone.Theprobl em wi
    ththati
    s,chil
    drenalso
    fal
    lv i
    cti
    mt ohi
    sfury.Hewipesouttheentir
    egenerat
    ionandl eavesnostoneunturned.”

    Mkhi
    zeknowsexact
    lywhatI
    ’
    mtal
    ki
    ngabout
    ,hebecomesuneasyatt
    hesoundofmywor
    ds.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “You’
    renot
    hingwi
    thoutt
    hatboy
    .”

    Hedecl
    ares,
    asmuchasStyl
    esactsl
    ikeacoward.Peopl
    etr
    embl
    eatthement
    ionofhi
    m,hei
    s
    ver
    ymuchknownandfear
    edinthedarkworl
    dandwhathecanbecapabl
    eof.
    Me:
    “Ar
    en’
    tIj
    ustl
    ucky
    .”

    Ismi
    rk.

    Son:
    “Baba,whyar
    eyouwasti
    ngyourt
    imet
    alki
    ngt
    ohi
    m.He’
    sobv
    iousl
    yly
    ingt
    ous,
    we’
    ret
    he
    Mkhi
    zes.Ther
    eisnot
    hingwecan’
    tdo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Aww,
    daddybr
    oughtboyboyt
    owor
    k.What
    ?Wast
    hecr
    èchecl
    osedt
    oday
    ?”

    Son:“
    Ungang’
    jway
    eli
    kabi
    wena,
    Uzof
    akab’
    hlungu.
    ”(Don’
    tpi
    ssmeof
    f,y
    ou’
    l
    ldi
    eapai
    nful
    deat
    h.)

    Thi
    sli
    tt
    leboyisfunny
    ,hegotmel
    aughi
    ngoutl
    oud.Al
    thoughI
    ’
    m Ghanai
    an,
    Icanspeakal
    l
    el
    evenl
    anguages.

    Me:
    “Cont
    rol
    yourpuppyMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Awumewena.
    ”(Wai
    t.
    )

    Heshout
    sathi
    m

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “IgotwhatIwant
    ed.Ourj
    obher
    eisdone.
    ”

    Hewi
    nksatme.

    Hehast
    hatsmi
    l
    ethatsay
    s,Ihav
    ejustdef
    eat
    edy
    ou.

    Theni
    tcl
    i
    cks…Ohshi
    t.

    Me:
    “Youf
    ucki
    ngbast
    ard.
    ”

    Ir
    oarandrushtothecar
    ,leav
    inghi
    mlaughi
    ng.Ihav
    eaf
    ewmi
    ssedcal
    l
    sfr
    om St
    yles,
    hecal
    l
    s
    j
    ustasIdi
    alhisnumber.

    St
    yles:
    “Shi
    t!It
    houghtt
    heyhady
    ou.
    ”

    Me:“
    TheyhaveAmara,I
    ’v
    ejustbeenfuckedbr
    uh.Thebast
    ardwasst
    all
    i
    ngmej
    ustsoIdon’
    tgo
    t
    othehouse,
    heplannedthi
    sStyl
    es.HowdidInotseei
    t?”

    Iexpl
    ainasIspeedof
    f.

    St
    yles:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Dr
    ivi
    nghome,
    Ihav
    etogett
    oher
    .”

    Sty
    les:“
    No,
    theypr
    obabl
    ylef
    tthehouseal
    ready
    .Li
    stenr
    atherdot
    his,
    taket
    hef
    reewayt
    o
    Soweto.
    ”

    Ihearshuf
    fl
    ingi
    nthebackgr
    ound.

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    ySt
    yles?Agoosechase?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Iputat
    rackeronher
    .”

    Me:
    “What
    ?”
    SeewhyIsayhe’
    sunpr
    edi
    ctabl
    e.

    Styl
    es:“
    Thedayyousentmetobuyhercl
    othes,
    Ithoughti
    ttobeagoodi
    deat
    oputt
    racker
    son
    them.Youknow,
    justi
    ncase.
    ”

    Me:
    “They
    ’l
    lpr
    obabl
    yfi
    gur
    ethatoneout
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Ther
    e’soneort
    woonhert
    eet
    haswel
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “DoIwantt
    oknowhowy
    oupul
    l
    edt
    hatoneof
    f?”

    Styl
    es:
    “Itwasinhertoot
    hbrush,
    it’
    sli
    keamagnet .So,whenshewasbrushingherteet
    h,i
    tstuck
    tooneofthem.Theywon’tbeabletotracethisone,it
    ’sassmallasaspeckofdust.Pl
    us,t
    he
    l
    iqui
    dinhermout hworksasashield,
    itblocksouteverytypeofmachi
    netheycouldpossi
    bly
    usetotr
    acetracker
    s.”

    Okay
    …Thi
    sist
    oomucht
    ogr
    aspi
    nonego.

    I
    ’
    m notsur
    eIknowSt
    ylesatal
    l
    ,Iknowhe’
    sint
    ell
    ectbut
    …Thi
    s…

    IguessIhav
    ebeenunder
    est
    imat
    inghi
    m al
    lthi
    swhi
    l
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Thecari
    sheadedt
    owar
    dsNasr
    ec,
    theyar
    epr
    obabl
    ytaki
    nghert
    oKl
    i
    ptown.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’st
    inshackst
    her
    e,i
    twi
    l
    lbehar
    dtof
    indher
    ?”

    Styl
    es:“
    Plus,
    hegr
    ewupt
    her
    e,t
    hat
    ’shi
    ster
    ri
    tor
    y.I
    ftheymakei
    tther
    eScar
    ,you’
    l
    lnev
    ergether
    back.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,Iwi
    l
    lfacethedevi
    li
    fIhav
    eto.Amar
    aissl
    eepi
    ngathomet
    oni
    ght
    ,Iwi
    l
    ltur
    nthat
    t
    ownupsidedownjusttof
    indher
    .”

    St
    y l
    es:“
    Relax,
    let
    ’snotgetcar
    ri
    edaway
    .Weneedt
    omakesur
    ethatt
    heydon’
    tmakei
    tto
    Kl
    iptown.
    ”

    Idon’
    tunder
    standhowhecanbesocal
    minsi
    tuat
    ionsl
    i
    ket
    hese.

    Me:
    “Iseet
    hecar
    ,it
    ’soneofMkhi
    ze’
    scar
    s.”

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    tmakeanymov
    esScar
    ,Ij
    ustpassedGol
    dreefCi
    ty.We’
    l
    lcor
    nert
    hem att
    hebr
    idge.
    ”

    Me:
    “Butwhati
    fshe’
    sint
    hecar
    ?Icangetherout
    .”

    Sty
    les:“
    Yourstubbornnesswi
    llonl
    ymesst hi
    ngsup,Ihaveawomanwai ti
    ngformeathome
    Randall
    .She’
    sexpectingmetowalkthroughthedoortoni
    ghtandIwi
    l
    l,andyouhaveadaught
    er
    l
    asttimeIchecked.Let’
    snotberat
    ionalokay
    ? ”

    He’
    sri
    ght
    ,It
    endt
    oov
    err
    eactwhenI
    ’
    m underpr
    essur
    e.

    Me:
    “Noonei
    sdy
    ingt
    odaySt
    yles,
    we’
    remaki
    ngi
    toutal
    i
    vewi
    thAmar
    a.”

    Amar
    a*
    Tothi
    nkt
    hegagwasn’
    tenough,theyputabl
    ackcl
    othovermyheadwhenwegottot
    hecar
    .
    Ti
    mehassloweddownforme,secondsfeel
    li
    keminut
    es.Minut
    esfeel
    li
    kehour
    s.

    Idon’
    tknowwhati
    swhatany
    mor
    e.

    Al
    lI’
    mthi
    nki
    ngi
    nmyheadi
    sthatI
    ’
    m aboutt
    odi
    e,t
    hisi
    sit
    .

    Thi
    sishowmyl if
    eisgoi
    ngtoendIwil
    lnotbeabl
    etosaygoodby
    et omyauntandLel
    o,she’
    s
    mybestfr
    iend.Weweresupposedt
    oexperi
    encesomanythi
    ngstoget
    her
    .

    Wehadital
    lpl
    annedout
    ,shewoul
    dfini
    shherst
    udi
    es,getaj
    obandhel
    ppayformystudi
    es,
    t
    henmov et
    oCapeTownpermanentl
    y.Iwasgoi
    ngtobehermai
    dofhonourandshewouldbe
    mine.

    Ourhusbandswoul
    dbebestf
    ri
    endsandwewouldhavedatenightsev
    eryFri
    day
    ,gotosoccer
    matchesonweekends,
    onl
    ybecauset
    heyl
    ovesoccerbutSundayswouldbel
    ongtomeandher.

    Orkidswouldgotothesameschool
    andwe’dhav
    epl
    aydat
    esf
    ort
    hem,
    all
    oft
    hisi
    snot
    hingbut
    adream now,onethatwi
    ll
    nev
    ercometopass.

    I
    fany
    onet
    oldmet
    hatonedayIwoul
    dbei
    nsuchapr
    edi
    cament
    ,Iwoul
    dhav
    elaughedi
    nthei
    r
    f
    ace.

    Ther
    e’sprobabl
    yfourmenint
    hiscar
    ,Ihav
    ehear
    dfourdi
    ff
    erentv
    oices,
    thr
    eesoundf
    orei
    gnand
    onesoundsSouthAfri
    can.

    Ther
    e’saphoner
    ingi
    ng.

    “
    Baf
    o”

    Li
    stens*
    **

    “
    We’
    reonourway
    ”

    Li
    stens*
    **

    “
    Don’
    twor
    rywe’
    renotbei
    ngf
    oll
    owed”

    Li
    stens*
    ***

    “
    Thatf
    ool
    hasnochancebaf
    o”

    Li
    stens*
    ***

    “
    Ihearyou,theweddi
    ngwi
    l
    lbet
    oni
    ght
    .Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    sready
    .Byt
    het
    imehef
    indsher
    ,shewi
    l
    lbe
    Mrs.Mkhize.
    ”

    Helaughs,
    myheartdr
    opstothedept
    hsofmyst
    omachandapul
    sat
    ingheatgoest
    hroughmy
    ent
    ir
    ebody.Ipr
    ayheisnott
    alki
    ngaboutme.
    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    9*

    RANDALL*

    Ataxial
    mosthit
    sme, Il
    urchthecartot
    hesidealmosthitt
    inganot
    heroneinfr
    ontofme.I
    managetogaincont
    rolofmycar .Thet
    axi
    hoot sf
    ollowedbythedri
    vershowi
    ngmet hemi
    ddl
    e
    f
    inger
    .It
    ’sagoodthi
    ngI’m dr
    ivi
    nganSUVorel setheywouldhavecrashedme.

    Soonafter
    ,al
    mostal
    lthet
    axi
    sar
    esoundi
    ngt
    hehor
    n.I
    tfeel
    sli
    keI
    ’
    m atBr
    eedur
    ingmor
    ning
    rushhour.

    Whyi
    sther
    esomanytaxi
    sher
    e?Ican’
    tseethecarany
    mor
    e,t
    her
    ear
    etaxi
    sbl
    ocki
    ngi
    t.I
    nfact
    ,
    t
    heyar
    eall
    overt
    her
    oad.Mycari
    stheonlycarher
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?What
    ’st
    hatnoi
    se?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m st
    il
    lont
    hephonewi
    thSt
    yles.

    Me:
    “Ist
    her
    eat
    axi
    str
    iket
    oday
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Nott
    hatIknowof
    ,why
    ?”

    Me:“
    All
    lanesar
    eful
    loft
    axi
    s,t
    her
    e’smor
    ecomi
    ng.I
    ’
    mtheonl
    yonewi
    thacarher
    eandI
    ’
    vel
    ost
    Mkhi
    ze’
    scar.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Shi
    t!
    !!
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’shi
    staxi
    s,t
    heyar
    eal
    lwr
    it
    tenMkhi
    zet
    axi
    associ
    ati
    on.
    ”

    Thatsonofagun,
    hecar
    eful
    l
    ypl
    annedal
    loft
    his.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    dbedamned,
    theol
    dmanst
    il
    lhaswhati
    ttakes.
    ”

    Hesni
    gger
    s.

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisanambushSt
    yles.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“
    Atl
    eastweknowt
    heywon’
    tki
    l
    lyou,
    heknowswhatwi
    l
    lhappeni
    fany
    thi
    ngwer
    eto
    happentoy
    ou.”

    Suddenl
    y,al
    lfourl
    anesar
    eful
    loft
    axi
    sandnoneoft
    hem ar
    emov
    ing.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sur
    rounded,
    ther
    e’sat
    raf
    fi
    cjam.Ican’
    tmov
    efor
    war
    dorback,
    ther
    e’snowayoutbr
    uh.
    ”

    Sty
    les:
    “Dammit
    !Heknewwewer egoingt
    ofoll
    owhi
    m,thi
    sisaperf
    ect
    lythoughtoutpl
    an.I
    haveafeel
    i
    ngheisn’
    twor
    kingal
    one,Mkhi
    zeissmar
    tbutnott
    hatsmar
    t.”

    Hegoesqui
    etf
    orawhi
    l
    e,Iknowhe’
    shav
    ingamomentwi
    thhi
    sbr
    ain.

    St
    yles:
    “Fr
    anco,
    thatI
    tal
    i
    ansonofabi
    tch.Mkhi
    zet
    eamedupwi
    tht
    heI
    tal
    i
    ans.
    ”
    Me:
    “It
    ali
    ansornot
    ,noonei
    sst
    oppi
    ngme.I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    ohav
    etost
    artshoot
    ing.
    ”

    St
    yles:“
    No,theymi
    ghtbear
    med.Thesear
    etaxi
    dri
    ver
    sremember
    ,they
    ’l
    ltakey
    oudownwi
    thout
    athoughtt
    oi t
    .”

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hef
    uckdoy
    ouwantmet
    odoSt
    yles?Campher
    eandhopef
    ort
    hebest
    ?”

    I
    ’m sor
    il
    edbyt hi
    swholet
    hing,
    I’
    m al
    waysastepaheadMkhize.That
    ’swhyIwasabl
    etot
    ake
    Amarawithouthi
    m knowi
    ngabouti
    t.Howdi
    dIletthi
    shappen?

    St
    yles:
    “Ihav
    eapl
    an.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    drat
    hery
    ouseei
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Unl
    essy
    oucanf
    lyandgetmeoutofher
    e,Idon’
    tseeanot
    herwayout
    .”

    Styl
    es:
    “Hey!ChiefSegunOkol
    ie’
    sson.Youneedt
    ocal
    m down,thatgi
    rlhasyourmi
    ndin
    shambles.Wearedealingwi
    ththeI
    tal
    iansr
    emember
    ,theyar
    etheelephantsandMkhi
    zeisan
    antcomparedtothem.”

    Her
    etor
    ts.

    Hecanbedi
    srespect
    ful
    whenhewant
    sto.Thenagai
    n,he’
    sri
    ght
    .

    Mkhizeal
    onewoul
    dn’
    thav
    esucceededi
    ntaki
    ngAmar
    a.That
    ’showt
    ightsecur
    it
    ywasatmy
    house.

    I
    ’
    m al
    readypi
    ssedof
    fbyal
    loft
    hissoImi
    ghtaswel
    l
    .

    Isi
    ghheav
    il
    yinf
    rust
    rat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyounow?
    ”

    St
    yles:“Appr
    oachi
    ngBarat
    axi
    rank,
    theychangedt
    hecourse.Thecarisheadedtowards
    Pi
    mv il
    l
    e, i
    fmyplanwor
    ks.We’
    ll
    beabletoambushthem bef
    oretheyreachGraceBibl
    eChur
    ch.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sbet
    terwor
    kSt
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:“
    Wel l
    ,i
    fyoukeeptal
    ki
    ngtomei
    nst
    eadoflet
    ti
    ngmecutthecal
    lso,Icanwor
    k.Thi
    spl
    an
    mightbackfi
    re.I
    ftheyr
    eachhi
    shomet
    own,i
    t’
    stheendoft
    heroadforusandthebegi
    nni
    ngof
    Amara’snightmare.
    ”

    Her
    emi
    ndsmeofahear
    tthr
    obbi
    ngt
    rut
    h.

    Me:
    “Noti
    fIhav
    eany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    l
    lcal
    lyouback.
    ”

    Hedr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    ,ti
    mei
    snotonoursi
    de.

    NOMBULELO*
    Ij
    ustfi
    nishedpost
    ingaf
    ewpi ct
    uresofAmaraonal
    lmysocialmediaaccounts,
    aski
    ngfor
    peopl
    etocontactmeift
    heyhaveseenherorhel
    plookforheri
    fpossi
    ble.Ipl
    antogotothe
    pol
    icestati
    ontomorr
    owtoreporthermi
    ssi
    ng,t
    he78hourperi
    odhaspassed.

    Iwi
    shshehadaphone,
    butshewasn’
    tal
    l
    owedt
    ohav
    eone.Nowt
    hatIt
    hinkabouti
    t,dadhas
    al
    waysbeenawf
    ult
    oher.

    Icomeacr
    ossanot
    hermi
    ssi
    ngper
    son’
    spost
    .

    I
    t’
    sagirlsay
    ingshe’
    slooki
    ngforherbi
    gbrot
    herwhowentmissi
    ng16y ear
    sago.Apparentl
    yhe
    was18yearsoldwhenhelefthomeandtheyhav
    en’
    tseenhi
    m since,
    myheartbreaks.Iwoul
    d
    hat
    ethattohappenwit
    hAmar a.

    I
    t’
    sstart
    ingtogetdarkout
    side,mom passedoutont hefl
    oor
    .Itt
    ookforev
    ert
    ogethert
    owake
    upandgot obed,t
    alkaboutdri
    nki
    ngyoursorrowsaway .Asf
    ordad,he’
    ssnor
    inghi
    sli
    feaway
    onthecouch.Atl
    eastIwon’thavet
    ocook, I
    ’
    lljusthavebr
    eadandtea.

    Whatki
    ndofpar
    tydoesn’
    thav
    efood?Thef
    ri
    dgei
    spackedwi
    thal
    cohol
    .

    Iam somov
    ingoutonceIst
    artwor
    king.

    Ifi
    nal
    lygottheint
    ernshi
    patthehospit
    alandIst
    artthedayaft
    ert
    omorr
    ow.IguessIhav
    enev
    er
    beenthati
    ntell
    i
    gent,mymarksdidn’
    tall
    owmet ostudymedici
    nesobei
    nganursewasthe
    cl
    osestIcouldgettobei
    ngadoct or
    .I’
    l
    lworkmywayup.

    RANDALL*

    I
    t’
    snowdarkoutsi
    de,someofthesedri
    vershavef
    all
    enasl
    eep.Iseet
    heyar
    ev er
    ycomf
    ort
    abl
    e,
    bl
    oodyi
    diot
    s.Ihopewhatev
    erStyl
    esisplanni
    ngworks,
    he’
    staki
    nglongt
    hough.

    Unexpectedl
    y,pol
    iceandambul
    ancesi
    rensresonat
    e,t
    heyaret
    ryi
    ngtopassthr
    oughthi
    s
    congestedtr
    affi
    c.Iwoul
    dli
    ketoseet
    hem tr
    yt opasst
    hrought
    hesestubbor
    ntaxi
    dri
    ver
    s.

    St
    ylescal
    l
    sback.

    St
    yles:
    “Doy
    ouseei
    t?”

    Wai
    t!What
    ?

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisal
    lyou?
    ”

    I
    ’
    mimpr
    essed.

    Sty
    les:“Ther
    eshoul
    dbeaboutsixpoli
    cecarsandfourambulancesplus,
    twopol
    icehel
    icopt
    ers.
    You’l
    lseehowthedri
    ver
    swil
    lstartpani
    cki
    ng.Idoubttheywanttospendtheni
    ghtinj
    ail
    .”

    Ihearandseet
    hehel
    i
    copt
    ersappr
    oachi
    ng,
    thef
    lashl
    i
    ght
    sar
    eon.Thi
    smannev
    ersei
    zest
    o
    amazeme.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Iseeal
    loft
    hisbutwhati
    fthepol
    i
    cest
    artaski
    ngquest
    ions?Wedon’
    thav
    eti
    mef
    or
    t
    hat
    .”

    Styl
    es:
    “Thosear
    enotr
    eal
    copsman,
    wel
    loneoft
    hem i
    s.Heowesmeso,
    Ihadt
    ocol
    l
    ectont
    he
    fav
    our.
    ”

    Ther
    e’smov
    ement
    .

    Judgi
    ngbyt
    hel
    ooksoft
    heset
    wof
    ucker
    sonbot
    hmysi
    des,
    theyar
    eter
    ri
    fi
    ed.

    Me:
    “It
    ’swor
    king,
    thebl
    oodycowar
    dsar
    emov
    ing.Shi
    tyou’
    reagodbr
    uh.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    St
    yles:“
    Don’
    tsi
    ngmypr
    aisesy
    et,
    let
    ’sgety
    ourgi
    rlhomef
    ir
    st.Theny
    oucanbuymet
    hatSUV
    Maserati
    Lev
    ante.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Ibegooo,
    seey
    ourl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Hecackl
    es.

    Sty
    les:“
    Anothert
    hing,Imanagedt
    osetuparoadbl
    ockonChrisHani
    roadjusttostal
    lthem.
    Thi
    shasboughtussomet i
    meandt hef
    unpar
    taboutt
    hisi
    s,t
    heywon’tsuspectathi
    ng.Thisi
    s
    SouthAfri
    ca,r
    oadblocksarecommon.

    He’
    shav
    ingmor
    efunt
    hanIam,
    hisl
    aughst
    est
    if
    yoft
    hat
    .

    Me:
    May
    bey
    oudodeser
    vet
    hatSUV.
    ”

    Il
    ett
    hatgl
    i
    deoutamusedl
    y,causi
    nghi
    mtobr
    eakouti
    nlaught
    er.

    St
    yles:
    “Int
    hatcasel
    et’
    sdot
    hisshi
    t.
    ”

    Oncet
    het
    axi
    sbegi
    ndr
    ivi
    ngaway
    ,Ist
    eponi
    t,speedi
    ngat160.

    AMARA*

    Breat
    hinghasbecomelikeachall
    engeundert
    hismask.I
    ’m exhaustedandt
    hewill
    tof
    ight
    ref
    usestograntmeaccess,leav
    ingmewithonlyachoi
    cetobef rai
    l
    .Ihavef
    inal
    l
    ycomet ot
    he
    concl
    usionthati
    t’
    stheendforme.

    Thecari
    sst
    il
    lmov
    ing,
    it’
    sasmoot
    hri
    de.So,
    Ipr
    esumewe’
    reont
    het
    arr
    oad.

    Thesemensoundj
    oll
    yandabitdr
    unk,t
    heyar
    ehavingali
    tt
    lepart
    yinher
    e.Whi
    leI
    ’
    mt i
    edupl i
    ke
    awildani
    mal
    ,mybackhasbeguntohur
    tasI’
    vebeenlay
    ingonthesameposi
    ti
    onforwhathas
    seemedli
    keanet
    erni
    ty.
    Mywr
    ist
    sandankl
    esar
    ebur
    ningduet
    other
    opest
    ight
    lybi
    ndi
    ngme.

    Thecarsuddenl
    yhur
    tl
    esthrowingmeagai
    nstwhatIthi
    nkisthefr
    ontseat
    ,itscreechesand
    st
    ops.Anungentl
    egri
    pforcef
    ullyl
    i
    ftsmef
    rom t
    hefloorandputsmebacktot hepositi
    onIwas
    i
    n.

    Themensoundangr
    yandcussesf
    il
    lthecar
    .

    “
    Fuck,
    howdi
    dtheyf
    indus?
    ”

    TheSout
    hAf
    ri
    canguyshout
    s.

    “
    It
    ’sonl
    ytwooft
    hem,
    wecant
    aket
    hem down.
    ”

    ThemanwiththeIt
    ali
    anaccentdecl
    ares,
    hesoundssosur
    eofhi
    msel
    f.Ihav
    enocl
    uewhot
    hey
    aret
    alki
    ngabout
    .

    “Don’
    tunder
    minet
    hosef
    uckersFr
    anco,thet
    wooft
    hem ar
    emor
    edanger
    oust
    hant
    enmen.
    They’
    l
    lfuckusupi
    fwearenotcar
    eful
    .”

    TheSout
    hAf
    ri
    canguyr
    espondsi
    naf
    itofr
    age,
    hesoundsmor
    efr
    ust
    rat
    edt
    hant
    heI
    tal
    i
    ans.

    “
    Idon’
    tfucki
    ngcar
    e,Inev
    erl
    ose.Capi
    re?
    ”(Under
    stand)

    Fr
    ancoshout
    sback,
    Icansensef
    earandpani
    cint
    hei
    rvoi
    cesnow.

    Iheargunshot
    s, t
    heyaresoloudthatmyearsbegi
    ntohurt
    .Thesefool
    shavestart
    edshoot
    ing
    atwhoeveri
    safterthem,t
    here’
    smor egunshot
    s.Theseonessoundabitf
    ar.Ihearawi
    ndow
    smashingandglasseshi
    tti
    ngtheground.

    “
    Shi
    t,Mat
    teo!
    !!Theyf
    ucki
    ngki
    l
    ledMat
    teo.
    ”

    Oneoft
    heI
    tal
    i
    ansshout
    s,It
    hinkoneoft
    hem hasbeent
    akendown.

    “
    Thi
    sisnotwor
    thi
    t,f
    ancul
    o.”(
    Fucki
    t)

    Francogroans,
    Iheart
    hedooropenandapai
    rofheav
    yfoot
    stepsr
    unni
    ngf
    rom us.Ther
    e’st
    his
    coldwindembraci
    ngmybody.

    “
    Franco,
    youcan’
    tleav
    e.Youguy
    scan’
    tleav
    emehear
    .”

    TheSout
    hAf
    ri
    canguyr
    oar
    s.

    “
    Fanabl
    a.”(
    Got
    ohel
    l
    )

    Francoshout
    sasIhearanotherpai
    roffeetl
    eavingus,
    itmustbetheot
    heraccompl
    i
    ce.Iguess
    taki
    ngoneofthem downprovedthatt
    heydon’tknowwhotheyaredeal
    ingwit
    h.

    Ithi
    nkit
    ’sjustmeandtheguyfr
    om mzansi
    ,thecari
    sswiftl
    yfi
    ll
    edwithsoundsofpanicandhis
    heavybreathi
    ngandpr
    ofanesescapi
    nghi
    smout hoccasi
    onall
    y.I
    ffearhadavoi
    ce,thenitwoul
    d
    soundli
    ket hi
    s.

    Hekeepsshoot
    ingreckl
    essl
    ywi
    thoutst
    oppi
    ng.Eachbul
    l
    etsoundi
    saccompani
    edbya
    cowar
    dlyscr
    eam fr
    om him.
    Theothert eam hasn’
    tstoppedshooti
    ng,theyaref
    ighti
    ngbackjustashard.Aloudgr
    oan
    escapesthisman’ smout h,
    befor
    eaheav yobjectf
    all
    sont opofme.Iscream whil
    etr
    y i
    ngto
    shrugitoffofmebutt hegagr ej
    ect
    st hel
    ev el
    ofmyscr eams,l
    etti
    ngmegr umblei
    nsteadand
    theobjectistooheavythatmysmal lbodyhasnochanceagai nsti
    t.

    I
    tfeel
    sli
    keabodyandi
    t’
    snotmov
    ing,
    thet
    houghtofadeadper
    sononmei
    sasscar
    yasdeat
    h.

    “
    Amar
    a!!
    !Amar
    a!!
    !”

    Ihearhisvoice,i
    t’
    shim.Randall
    ishereandhe’
    sdesper
    atel
    ycall
    i
    ngouttome.Iwanttoscream
    andsayI ’
    m herebutI’
    mt i
    edupandl i
    mitedbyt
    hisgagonmymout h.Thecl
    othovermyheadis
    blocki
    ngmyv i
    sionandthere’
    sadeadmanont opofme,I’
    mi nahelpl
    essposi
    ti
    on.

    Igi
    veupt
    ryi
    ngt
    omov
    ebutI
    ’
    m st
    il
    lgr
    oani
    ngl
    oudl
    y.

    Ihearthesoundofthebackdooropeni
    ngandastrongwindwelcomesme.Theheavybodyis
    removedfrom mefoll
    owedbyal oudt
    humpandapai rofl
    argehandsgrabmyupperar
    ms,
    sit
    ti
    ngmeup.Icanheart hepersonwheezi
    ng,
    evi
    dencethattheyundoubt
    edl
    yrant
    othecar,
    theyhaven’
    tsai
    dany t
    hingyet
    .

    “
    Amar
    a.”

    Hi
    ssof
    twhi
    sper
    sti
    ckl
    emyear
    sandmyhear
    tst
    opsabi
    tatt
    hesoundofhi
    sfr
    etf
    ulv
    oice.

    If
    eelhi
    m pull
    theclot
    hf r
    om myheadandt hisbri
    ghtl
    ightbli
    ndsmyeyesf
    orasecond,bef
    ore
    hi
    sfaceappearst
    hroughthatsameli
    ght.Ifeelsobadforbeinggl
    adt
    oseehi
    m.Hel ooksatme
    wi
    thaconcernedexpressi
    onbutal
    so,there’
    srageinhiseyes.

    Heuntanglesthegagfrom mymouth,cutst
    heropesbi
    ndingme,wit
    hapocketkni
    fe.Al
    lthi
    s
    whi
    leI’
    ml eeri
    ngathim,hopingandpr
    ayingt
    hatthi
    sisnotadream.I
    ’m af
    rai
    dtoev
    enblinkl
    est
    ,
    i
    t’
    sall
    inmyi maginati
    on.

    Hepull
    smeint
    ohisar
    ms,cl
    aspi
    ngt
    hem ar
    oundme.If eel
    sosmalli
    nhishugear
    ms,
    somehow
    i
    tfeel
    sli
    ket
    hesaf
    estpl
    acei
    nthewor
    ldandther
    e’snowhereIwoul
    drat
    herbe.

    Howel
    sewoul
    dIf
    eel
    though?Ihav
    ebeent
    hroughhel
    landbacki
    nthehour
    sthatpassed.

    Ov
    erwhelmed,If
    indmysel
    fhol
    dinghi
    m backasIsnuggl
    eagai
    nsthi
    sneck.Ther
    ivercont
    aini
    ng
    mytear
    sisdry
    .Mor eov
    er,
    Idonothavethest
    rengt
    htocry.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m her
    e,y
    ou’
    resaf
    enow.
    ”

    Hewhisper
    sagainstmyear
    ,assur
    ingmeofwhatIal
    readyf
    eel
    .St
    rangel
    y,Ibel
    i
    evehi
    m andmy
    hear
    tsli
    psi
    ntocomf or
    t.

    Hepull
    sback,l
    ooksint
    omyeyesashebur
    iesmycheeksi
    ntot
    hepal
    msofhi
    shands.Hi
    swar
    m
    handsf
    eell
    ikevel
    vetonmyski
    n.

    Randal
    l
    :“Mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Anot
    hersof
    tmurmureludeshi
    smouthbef
    oreitr
    eachesmyears,Ican’
    thelpbutnot
    icet
    he
    gent
    lel
    ookinhi
    seyes.I
    t’
    salmostasi
    fImatt
    ertohi
    m andhecaresgenuinelyf
    orme.
    I
    t’
    sbeenal
    ongdayandI
    ’
    m pr
    obabl
    yhal
    l
    uci
    nat
    ing.

    Thef
    ear
    ,thehunger
    ,thepai
    nandexhaust
    ionconsumeme,
    causi
    ngmet
    opassout
    .

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    10*

    RANDALL*

    Wemanagedt oambushthecarastheyapproachedMaponyamal
    l,
    that
    ’swhenal
    lthechaos
    began.Pedest
    ri
    answerei
    njur
    edandpossiblytr
    aumati
    zed.Car
    swer
    edestr
    oyed,l
    eavi
    ngthe
    dri
    versandpassenger
    swoundedandinnocentli
    vesl
    ost.

    Atthatmoment
    ,Idi
    dn’tcar
    eaboutany
    thi
    ng.Al
    lIcoul
    dthi
    nkofwasget
    ti
    ngAmar
    aoutoft
    hat
    carali
    ve,
    shewasal
    lthatmatt
    ered.

    Idon’
    tknowthepainofl
    osingsomeonecloseandIhaveneverf
    eltany
    thi
    ngstr
    ongtowards
    anyoneasIhavebui
    ltwal
    lsaroundmyhearti
    nthepastyear
    s.Eventhewall
    sofJer
    ichowere
    notstr
    ongert
    hanthese,
    guardingmyhear
    t.

    But
    ,forsomer
    eason,t
    hethoughtoff
    indi
    ngAmar
    adeadi
    nthatcarki
    l
    ledme.That
    ’swhent
    he
    wal
    lsofmyheartcamecr
    ushingdown.

    Ial
    mostwentcr
    azycal
    l
    ingouthernameandshewasn’
    trespondi
    ng.Inev
    erwantt
    ofeel
    that
    wayagai
    n.

    Wedi
    dn’
    tknowhowmanypeopl
    ewer
    eint
    hecar
    ,Fr
    ancoandhi
    sst
    ooger
    anl
    i
    kecowar
    ds.

    Thatwasmi
    nust
    wopeopl
    e.

    AndIt
    houghthewast
    ough.Cowar
    d!!
    !

    Thecart
    heywer
    ein,
    isplasteredwi
    thbul
    l
    ethol
    es.So,
    Idi
    dn’
    tknowi
    fAmar
    awashi
    t.Al
    lIhadt
    o
    hol
    dontowashopethatshe’sokay
    .

    Awaveofr
    eli
    efwashedov
    ermewhenherbi
    gbr
    owney
    esmetmi
    ne,
    theywer
    ebur
    sti
    ngwi
    th
    f
    ear
    .

    Hereshei
    s,i
    nmyar ms.Ican’
    tlookanywhereel
    sebut,atheri
    mpeccablegui
    lel
    essf
    ace.Ial
    so
    can’
    thel
    pbutfeel
    li
    keshitf
    orev er
    ythi
    ngIhaveputherthr
    oughsi
    nce,Ihavecometoknowher.

    St
    ylesgotusanothercar,
    I’
    m doneaski
    ngmy
    sel
    fhowhedoesal
    ltheset
    hings.Hehasami
    nd
    nohumancanev ercrack.

    Ioptt
    osi
    tatthebackwi
    thanunconsci
    ousAmar
    awhil
    ehedriv
    esushome,
    herheadi
    srest
    ing
    onmylapandmyhandisonherback,sl
    owl
    ycr
    eati
    nggent
    leci
    rcl
    es.

    Me:
    “Thi
    swhol
    emessi
    sfuckedup.
    ”

    Imur
    murr
    efer
    ri
    ngt
    othemuddl
    ewej
    ustl
    eftbehi
    nd.

    Styl
    es:“Yeahandi
    t’
    sagoodt
    hingImanagedt
    owi
    peoutal
    lthesur
    vei
    l
    lancef
    oot
    agef
    rom ev
    ery
    angle.
    ”
    Me:
    “Whataboutt
    hewi
    tnesses?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Not
    hingaf
    ewhundr
    eds,
    won’
    tsol
    ve.Somewi
    l
    lbet
    oot
    raumat
    izedt
    ospeakabouti
    t.
    ”

    Me:“Yes,
    butther
    e’sr
    ubberneckswhol
    i
    kecapt
    uri
    ngeveryt
    hingoncamera.”St
    yles:
    “OhScar
    ,
    youknowsomet i
    mesithur
    tstoseehowyoust
    il
    ldon’
    tknowme.Idon’tknowIfIshoul
    dbe
    off
    endedornot.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs…Nx!

    Hiswindowissl
    ight
    lyopenandt hewindisvi
    olent
    lyki
    ssingmyface,
    Amaramustbecold.At
    l
    eastshe’swear
    ingatracksui
    t,Ipul
    lthehoodofherjacketov
    erherhead,
    cov
    eri
    ngthesideof
    herf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Cl
    oset
    hewi
    ndow,
    thebr
    eezei
    stoost
    rong.
    ”

    HedoesasIaskandt
    urnst
    heheat
    eron.

    St
    yles:
    “Issheokay
    ?”

    Me:
    “She’
    sal
    i
    ve,
    we’
    l
    lfi
    ndoutt
    her
    estwhenshewakesup.
    ”

    Sty
    les:“Ical
    l
    edMbusowhenyouwenttogetAmar
    aint
    hecarandaskedhi
    mtogot
    othehouse.
    You’l
    lfi
    ndhim wai
    ti
    ngf
    oryouther
    e.”

    Mbusoi
    sadoctor
    ,wegrewupinthesameci
    rcl
    e.Hewasn’taboutthehust
    le,
    homeboywant
    ed
    t
    omakehisf
    atherpr
    oudandbei
    ngadoctorwasadream hi
    sfatherhadforhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Thanksman.
    ”

    Sty
    les:“
    AsIwassay i
    ng.Isetupav i
    rus,
    ifanyoneat
    temptstoupl
    oadanyt
    hingf
    ort
    henex
    t
    sevendays,
    thei
    rphoneswillcr
    ash.I
    tdoesn’tmatt
    erwhattheposti
    s.”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    oinsul
    tyoubyaski
    nghowt
    hati
    spossi
    ble,
    Ial
    readyf
    eel
    stupi
    d.”

    Hel
    etsoutapr
    oudl
    augh.

    Styl
    es: “
    Youknowhowpeopl eli
    ketohashtagevery
    thingorelseitdoesn’ttrend.So,thathash
    tagitsel
    fwill
    complet el
    ycr
    ushwhat ev
    erdevi
    ceisusedtoupl oadthef ootage,r
    eject
    ingthe
    uploadintheprocess.Whetheritbeastat
    us,vi
    deo,orpict
    ure.Evenv oicenotesarenotsaf e
    from it
    .Andwordst hathaveanythi
    ngtodowithwhathappenedt here, wi
    llal
    sober eject
    ed,wit
    h
    orwithoutthehasht ag.
    ”

    I
    ’m ut
    terl
    ydumbstruckbyall
    ofthi
    s,thi
    sfr
    iendofmi
    neshoul
    dwor
    kfort
    heC.
    I.
    Aorsomet
    hing.
    Hecan’tl
    etsucht
    alentgotowaste.

    Me:
    “Sot
    hisgoesf
    ort
    hewhol
    ecount
    ry?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Si
    ncewedon’
    tknowwhowi
    tnessedt
    hecr
    imescene,
    ther
    ewasnoot
    herway
    .”

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,youcoul
    dhav
    ejustsetupGaut
    engal
    one.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    ttakechancesRandy
    .Ifapostf
    rom Eur
    opet
    akessecondst
    oreachSout
    hAf
    ri
    ca,
    i
    magi
    nehowl
    ongapostf
    rom Johannesbur
    gtoLi
    mpopowi
    l
    ltake.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iheary
    oubut
    ,whati
    fsomeonewasl
    i
    vest
    reami
    ng?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Okay
    ,nowI
    ’
    m of
    fended.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsandIshakemyhead.Thi
    sfool
    wil
    lmakemewantt
    ogobackt
    oschool
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    reani
    diot
    .”

    It
    easehi
    m ashecont
    inuest
    olaugh.

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyouexpl
    ainorl
    aught
    heni
    ghtaway
    ?”

    Hel
    aughsl
    ouder
    .

    Styl
    es:“
    Okayso,aswewereappr
    oachi
    ngt
    hosemonkey
    s.Iact
    ivat
    edt
    heel
    ect
    romagnet
    ic
    radi
    ati
    onfr
    om thi
    sdevi
    ce.
    ”

    Hehandsmeasmallr
    emotelooki
    ngt
    hingy
    ,ithast
    wobut
    tons,
    oner
    edandonegr
    een.Ihav
    eno
    i
    deawhatt
    heheckI
    ’
    ml ooki
    ngat.

    Styl
    es:“Theyareradiowaves,t
    heirwavelengthcanbeanywherefr
    om short
    erthanagrai
    nof
    ri
    cetolongerthanthediameteroftheearth.Theytr
    avelatt
    hespeedofli
    ghtinvacuum.The
    posit
    ionofanelectromagneti
    cwav ewiththeelect
    romagneti
    cspectr
    um canbecharact
    eri
    zed
    byeit
    heritsfr
    equencyofoscill
    ati
    on-.”

    I
    ’
    m sur
    pri
    sedhet
    hinksI
    ’
    mint
    erest
    edi
    nknowi
    ngt
    hedet
    ail
    sofhowi
    twor
    ks.

    He’
    scr
    acki
    ngmybr
    ain,
    Ithi
    nkI
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngaheadache.

    Me:
    “Engl
    i
    shpl
    ease.
    ”

    Isnapcut
    ti
    nghi
    m of
    f,hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Okay
    ,sor
    ry.Iwon’
    texpl
    aint
    hephy
    sicspar
    tofi
    tbecauseIknowy
    ouwi
    l
    lshootme.
    ”

    Me:
    “Damnr
    ightIwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Icl
    own.

    St
    yles:
    “Thosewav
    esi
    nter
    rupt
    edt
    hest
    reami
    ng,
    alsocausi
    ngt
    hedev
    icet
    ocr
    ash.
    ”

    Me:
    “Noonei
    ssaf
    efr
    om t
    hatbr
    ainofy
    our
    s.”

    St
    yles:
    “Theymustst
    opl
    i
    kingt
    hings,
    may
    beI
    ’
    llt
    akei
    tdownanot
    ch.
    ”

    Thenhesay
    sI’
    mthear
    rogantone.

    Me:
    “IguessI
    ’
    m st
    ayi
    ngawayf
    rom soci
    almedi
    afort
    henextsev
    enday
    s.”

    Ij
    oke.

    Styl
    es:
    “You’r
    enotevenonsoci
    almedi
    a.Speaki
    ngoft
    hat
    ,If
    eany
    iisati
    tagai
    n.Sheopeneda
    fewpages,samepict
    uresasl
    astt
    ime.
    ”
    Thi
    sist
    hepastIdr
    eadt
    alki
    ngabout
    .IfIwer
    etoer
    asei
    tper
    manent
    ly,
    Iwoul
    d.

    Me:
    “Thatgi
    rlwi
    l
    lbemydownf
    all
    ,thel
    astt
    hingIwanti
    sfort
    hatol
    dmant
    ofi
    ndme.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“
    Don’
    twor
    ry,
    Itookcar
    eofi
    t.Amar
    a’scousi
    npost
    edapi
    ctur
    eofhert
    oo,
    she’
    saski
    ng
    peoplet
    ohel
    pfi
    ndher.”

    That
    ’snot
    hingt
    owor
    ryabout
    ,hi
    sphoner
    ings.I
    t’
    sconnect
    edt
    otheBl
    uet
    oot
    h.

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Her
    eveal
    sasheaccept
    sthecal
    l
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Hey
    .”

    Khethu:“
    WhereareyouSt
    yles?It
    ’saf
    ter9pm andI
    ’m wai
    ti
    ngher
    eli
    keani
    diot
    ,youdi
    dn’
    tbot
    her
    tocallmeandexpl
    ainwhyyou’r
    enothomeatt hi
    sti
    me.”

    St
    yle:
    “Rel
    axwi
    l
    lyou,
    I’
    m wi
    thRandy
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Wel
    l
    ,youshoul
    dhav
    ecal
    l
    edandt
    oldmet
    hat
    .Whatwassohar
    dabouti
    t?”

    St
    yles:
    “Thi
    sisnott
    het
    imeKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:“Whenistheti
    meSt y
    les?DoIhavetobegyoutocommunicat
    ewit
    hme?Fouryear
    sof
    myli
    fe,
    Igaveittoyouinhopesthatonedayyou’
    l
    lbethemanIhadbeenpray
    ingf
    or.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Isai
    dthi
    sisnott
    het
    imewoman.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles-
    ”

    Styl
    es:“Fuck,
    don’tIcomehomet oy
    ouever
    yni
    ghtandsl
    eepbyyourside?Idon’
    tknowwhat
    thefuckyouwantf rom me,
    you’r
    egr
    il
    li
    ngmeKhet
    huandI’
    m get
    ti
    ngfrustr
    ated.I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    o
    contri
    butetoyourfoulmood.”

    Hedropst hecall
    , knowingKhethushewil
    lshouttil
    lsunri
    se.That’
    sthewomanshehasbecome
    ov
    erthey ears,Ithinkshewantsmor ei
    ntherelat
    ionshi
    pandt hismanheredoesn’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    n
    marr
    iage.Hel ovesherbutwi l
    lnevermarr
    yherorany oneforthatmatt
    er.

    Me:
    “Thatwashect
    ic.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    kabouti
    t.
    ”

    Hi
    stonehaschangednow,
    trustKhet
    hut
    orui
    nhi
    smood.Iknowwhent
    oshutup.

    Weev
    ent
    ual
    l
    yar
    ri
    vei
    nHought
    on,
    Sty
    lespul
    l
    sint
    othedr
    iveway
    .

    Me:
    “Justsoy
    ouknow,
    I’
    m goi
    ngbackt
    oschool
    .Youbl
    oodymademef
    eel
    uneducat
    ed.
    ”

    Ipr
    ocl
    aim asIcar
    eful
    l
    ytakeAmar
    aoutoft
    hecar
    .

    Iamusehi
    m,Isee.Heshakeshi
    sheadsni
    gger
    ing.

    St
    yles:
    “Iwoul
    dcomei
    nbut
    ,Ihav
    eacr
    azywomanIneedt
    oputt
    oor
    derathome.
    ”
    If
    rownathi
    spr
    ocl
    amat
    ionandhel
    aughswhi
    l
    eget
    ti
    ngi
    ntot
    hecar
    .

    Idon’
    twai
    tforhi
    mtodr
    iveof
    f.

    Icar
    ryAmarauptoherr
    oom.Youcan’tt
    ell
    thatawarhadbrokenouti
    nthi
    shouse,ev
    ery
    thing
    seemstobeini
    tspl
    ace.Ther
    ear
    eaf ewguardswhowereinjur
    edbutt
    hankful
    l
    y,noonedied.

    STYLES*

    Idi
    dn’
    twantt
    ogi
    veany
    thi
    ngouti
    nfr
    ontofRandybutI
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngpi
    quedbyKhet
    hu’
    sder
    ogat
    ory
    manner
    .

    Somehowshehasconv
    incedher
    sel
    fthatI
    ’
    m seeingotherwomenandhav
    enoi nter
    esti
    nher
    any
    more.Il
    ovet
    hatwoman,GodknowsIloveherbuthertant
    rumsar
    eunatt
    racti
    ve.

    Thehousel
    i
    ght
    sar
    est
    il
    lon,
    myhousei
    snot
    hingcompar
    edt
    oRandal
    l
    ’smansi
    on.

    I
    t’sabeautif
    ulhousethough,afiv
    ebedroomeddoublestory.Thefr
    ontwoodendoubl edoor
    l
    eadsy outothefoyerthemomenty oustepi
    n,wherethere’
    sanimperialstai
    rcase.Youarel
    ed
    totheloungeasyout urnri
    ghtandcoul
    dalsoseethekit
    chenf r
    om thelounge.It’
    sanopenfloor
    plan,
    Ilikebl
    ackandgr eysoIwentfort
    hesecolour
    sintermsofi nt
    eri
    ordecor s.

    I’
    vebeenliv
    ingwit
    hKhet hufortwoy ear
    snow,shemovedinwi
    thmewhenshet ur
    ned27.Her
    fat
    herwasagainstitbutthatgi
    rlcansurel
    yputupaf
    ight
    ,shei
    sthedaught
    erofapoli
    ce
    commi ssi
    oneraf
    terall
    .

    I
    ’
    m wel
    comedbyaspl
    ashofcol
    dwat
    eronmyf
    aceasIcl
    oset
    hedoorshut
    .

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hef
    uck?
    ”

    Ihol
    lerattheangr
    ylookingKhet
    hust
    andi
    ngbef
    oremewi
    thanempt
    yjugonherhand,
    shehas
    theotherhandonherhip.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    syourpr
    obl
    em?
    ”

    Shedoesn’tanswermebutwal ksawaymaki ngherwaytothekit


    chen.Thi
    sisthesecondstr
    ike
    ofdisr
    especttodayandI’m abouttobur
    st.Imarchbehindherandgrabherarm,for
    cinghert
    o
    facemejustasshepl acesthejugonthekitchencount
    er.

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?Col
    dwat
    er?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Woul
    dyour
    atherIusedhotwat
    er?
    ”

    Sheshout
    s,y
    anki
    ngherar
    m away
    .

    Me:
    “Ar
    ewebei
    ngchi
    l
    dishKhet
    hu?
    ”

    Isnapather
    ,I’
    m begi
    nni
    ngt
    olosemycool
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Chi
    l
    dish?Now,
    I’
    mtheonewhoi
    schi
    l
    dishSt
    yles?Ungazong’
    nyel
    awena.
    ”(You’
    re
    shi
    tt
    ingme)

    Ichuckl
    ecol
    dly
    .

    I
    ’
    m standi
    ngher
    eli
    steni
    ngandwat
    chi
    ngt
    hisgi
    rlbei
    ngi
    nsol
    ent
    .Idon’
    tknowhowmuchIcan
    t
    akeofthi
    s.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hef
    uckdi
    dyouj
    ustsayt
    ome?
    ”

    Ir
    umbl
    ethr
    oughgr
    eet
    edt
    eet
    hroughl
    ysei
    zi
    ngherar
    m agai
    n,causi
    nghert
    ofl
    i
    nch.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Don’
    tuset
    hatl
    anguagewi
    thme,
    Iam notoneofy
    ourf
    ri
    endsSt
    yles.
    ”

    Theimpudenceofthiswomani
    sget
    ti
    ngoutofhand.Icl
    aspt
    hegr
    iponherar
    m asherwor
    ds
    arousemoreangerinme.

    Shefrownsatmeasshet
    riestosnatchi
    tawaybutmyclenchi
    stooti
    ght
    .I’
    m gl
    ari
    ngi
    ntoher
    eyes,
    there’
    sabi
    toff
    eari
    nt hem.Iwantt
    ostopbutmyragewon’tl
    etme.

    Me:“
    Iam get
    ti
    ngti
    redofyourshi
    tKhet
    hu,
    nowy
    ou’
    regoi
    ngt
    otel
    lmewhaty
    ourpr
    obl
    em i
    sor
    gosl
    eept
    hissti
    nki
    ngatt
    it
    udeof f
    .”

    Idemand,shecanseet
    hatI
    ’
    m notki
    ddi
    ng.Notoncehav
    eIl
    aidaf
    ingeronherbutr
    ightnow
    she’
    sprov
    okingme.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Now,
    youwantt
    otal
    k?Youdi
    dn’
    tseem i
    nter
    est
    edwheny
    ouwer
    ewi
    thy
    ourf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ist
    hisaboutRandal
    l
    ?Youhav
    eapr
    obl
    em wi
    thhi
    m?”

    Ievent
    ual
    lyl
    ethergo,
    shest
    epsbackasshesendsherot
    herhandt
    orubt
    hedi
    scomf
    ortf
    rom
    herarm.

    Khet
    hu:“
    Youspendmor et
    imewi
    thhimthany
    oudowi
    thme,
    I’
    myourgi
    rl
    fr
    iendSt
    ylesnothi
    m.I
    gi
    veyoupleasur
    ethewhol
    eni
    ght
    ,nothi
    m.”

    Idon’
    tknowwhathappenedbutIl
    osti
    t,t
    henextt
    hingshe’
    sont
    hef
    loorr
    ubbi
    ngherhandonher
    ri
    ghtcheek.

    Myheartbr
    eaksseei
    ngherl
    ikethi
    s.Iwantt
    oapol
    ogi
    seandpr
    omi
    seheri
    twi
    l
    lnev
    erhappen
    agai
    nbutmyragedeniesmethewillt
    odoso.

    I
    nsteadofhel
    pingherupandcomf orti
    ngher,Iwalkaway
    .I’
    m soenr
    agedIneedtocoolof
    f
    befor
    eIdotheunthinkabl
    e.Ihat
    emy selff
    orputt
    ingmyhandonher.Khethuhasbeenagood
    womant omeanddoesn’ tdeser
    vethi
    s.Ilosti
    twhenshespokeaboutRandal
    lint
    hatmanner
    ,
    thatmanismybrother.

    Iwouldn’
    tbeheretodayifi
    tweren’
    tforhi
    m.HekeptmesanewhenIwasl osi
    ngmymi ndaft
    er
    mysister
    ’spassi
    ng,hehasprovedtomet i
    meandagai nthathehasmybackandhi sl oy
    alt
    yli
    es
    wit
    hme.Nowt hat’
    sabondnoonecanbr eak,notevenKhethuher
    sel
    f.RandallandIarenot
    bl
    oodr el
    atedbutourbondgoesbeyondblood,Iwi
    ll
    nottolerat
    eanydi
    srespecttowardshim.
    RANDALL*

    I
    ’
    vebeenwatchi
    ngMbusocheckonAmara,f
    orsomereasonIam veryanxi
    ous.Heaskedmet
    o
    l
    eav
    etheroom butIdecl
    i
    ned,
    Iwi
    ll
    notl
    eaveheral
    one,notaf
    terwhathappenedtoday
    .

    Me:
    “Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Ienqui
    reasIcov
    erherwi
    thasof
    tthr
    ow.

    He’
    sdoneandpacki
    nghi
    smedi
    cal
    bag.

    Mbuso:
    “She’
    sweakanddehy
    drat
    ed.
    ”

    Me:
    “Sher
    efusest
    oeatordr
    inkanyl
    i
    qui
    ds.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Youneedt
    omakesur
    esheeat
    sRandyorherhear
    twi
    l
    lgi
    veuponher
    ,leadi
    ngt
    odeat
    h.”

    Ir
    efuset
    olett
    hewor
    ddeat
    hbeassoci
    atedwi
    thhername.Thi
    sanger
    smeawhol
    elot
    .

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    tletany
    thi
    nghappent
    oher
    .”

    Hechuckl
    es.Idon’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngf
    unnyaboutt
    his.

    Mbuso:
    “You’
    renotGod.
    ”

    Her
    aisesaney
    ebr
    ow.

    Me:
    “ButIcanmaket
    hingshappen.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m okaywi
    thnotknowi
    ngwhatt
    hoset
    hingsar
    e.Whathappenedwi
    thherany
    way
    ?”

    Me:
    “Asknoquest
    ions,
    hearnol
    i
    es.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.He’
    sfor
    everl
    aughi
    ng,
    li
    keSt
    yles.

    Mbuso:“Makesureshegetsal
    lther
    estsheneeds.But
    ,whenshewakesup,
    youneedt
    ofeed
    herRandy.Conv
    inceheri
    fyouhaveto.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    l,l
    etmewal
    kyouout
    .”

    Il
    eadhi
    mtowar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Mbuso:“Takeiteasywi
    thher,
    don’
    ttr
    yany t
    hingthatwil
    ltr
    aumati
    zethepoorgi
    rl
    .Itmi
    ghtsend
    heri
    ntoshock.Ithi
    nkkeepi
    ngyourdi
    stancefrom herwi
    llhel
    pherfornow.
    ”

    May
    bemyear
    sar
    ecl
    ogged.

    Di
    dIhearr
    ight
    ?

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmewhatt
    odoMbuso.
    ”

    Nowayam Ist
    ayi
    ngawayf
    rom her
    .Whodoeshet
    hinkhei
    s?

    Mbuso:
    “Asadoct
    or,
    IsaydoasIsayandy
    ouwi
    l
    lthankmel
    ater
    .”
    Me:
    “Yeaht
    hat
    ’st
    hepr
    obl
    em wi
    thy
    oudoct
    ors.Yout
    hinky
    ou’
    ret
    hegodsofal
    lwi
    sdom.
    ”

    IannounceasIwal
    khi
    m downt
    hest
    air
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Iseey
    ou’
    rest
    il
    lconcei
    ted.
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    Ihat
    ebei
    ngt
    oldwhatt
    odo.
    ”

    Myf
    athert
    ri
    edi
    tonceandf
    ail
    edgr
    iml
    y.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    mtheonewi
    tht
    hepr
    ofessi
    onher
    e,Iknowwhatmypat
    ient
    sneed.
    ”

    Me: “
    Fir
    stl
    y,I
    ’m notyourfat
    her.Idon’tneedyoutoimpressmewithyourdoct
    orskil
    l
    sand
    secondl
    y,Amar aisnotyouranythi
    ng.You’rej
    usthel
    pingoutafr
    iend,
    youdon’twantmetost
    art
    namingthethingsIhavedonef oryou,ri
    ght?Iwoul
    dhat et
    ostar
    tcoll
    ect
    ingonthefavour
    s
    Mbuso.Itwon’tendwell.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    sey
    ebr
    ows,
    hecan’
    tbel
    i
    eveI
    ’
    mtal
    ki
    ngt
    ohi
    mli
    ket
    his.

    Idon’
    tcar
    e,Ihadashi
    tt
    ydayandt
    hisi
    sthel
    astt
    hingIneedr
    ightnow.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sur
    eyoust
    il
    lrememberhowt
    oopent
    hedoorr
    ight
    ?”

    Hesmi
    rks,
    thi
    sonei
    snoteasi
    l
    yof
    fended.Hedoesn’
    ttaket
    hingst
    ohear
    t.

    Mbuso:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Me:“
    Please,makesureyouclosemydooraswell.I
    ’
    llcal
    lyouwhenIneedyouandnextt
    ime
    l
    eav
    ey ouropi
    nionsi
    ny ourhouseoraskdaddyt
    opreservethem f
    ory
    ou.”

    Mbuso:
    “Youar
    rogantbast
    ard.
    ”

    Hecackl
    es.

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    bye.
    ”

    Il
    eavehim hal
    fwaydownt
    hest
    air
    sandwal
    kbackupt
    oAmar
    a,I
    ’
    drat
    herbewi
    thhert
    han
    ent
    ert
    aingarbage.

    Ihat
    enonsense.

    She’ssl
    eepingpeaceful
    l
    y,she’slostsomuchwei ghtandshel
    ookscompletel
    ydi
    ff
    erentf
    rom
    thedayshewasbr oughthere.Isti
    llcan’tbel
    i
    eveshe’
    sherei
    nmyr oom,onmybed.Ihadtogive
    upthisroom soshegetsallthecomf ortshedeser
    vesbut
    ,Iwon’
    tbestayi
    ngawayfortoolong.
    Thisiswhereshebelongs,withme.

    AsItakeherhandi
    ntomi
    neandsi
    tont
    heedgeoft
    hebed,
    Ifi
    ghtt
    heur
    get
    oli
    ebesi
    deherand
    cageheri
    nmyar ms.

    Mymindtakesmebacktoaf
    ewhour
    sbackwhenIhel
    dheri
    nmyar
    ms.I
    twast
    hemostbl
    i
    ssf
    ul
    t
    hingev
    er,i
    tfel
    tsor
    ight
    .
    TodayIutt
    eredsomethingtoher,somethingIhaveneversai
    dorfel
    ttowardsawoman.Ical
    l
    ed
    hermyqueen,thankf
    ull
    y,i
    twasi nAkan.Al anguageIpl
    antoteachheronceshebl
    endsi
    n,I
    can’
    twaitf
    orhertolookatmewi thdif
    ferenteyes.Ri
    ghtnowthegazeinhereyesbr
    eakmy
    hear
    tmakingmef eell
    ikeshitwhil
    eatit
    .

    I
    ’m notaverypat
    ientper
    son,It
    endtosaywhati
    sonmymindorinmyhear
    t.Butwi
    thher
    ,Ihav
    e
    beentry
    ingasIdon’twantt
    oov er
    whel
    m herwi
    thwhatmyhear
    thol
    ds.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    11*

    STYLES*

    I
    t’
    sbeenanhoursi
    ncet
    hef
    ight
    ,Ihadt
    ogol
    ookf
    orher
    .

    Iknewshewouldbei
    nourbedr
    oom, shelov
    esthi
    sroom.It
    ’swhereshefeel
    sthemost
    comfor
    tabl
    e,she’
    sst
    andi
    ngi
    nfrontofthebigl
    ongmirr
    or,
    twist
    inghernat
    uralhai
    r.

    Shedoesthateveryni
    ghtbefor
    ebed,shesay sherhairissocoursethati
    tbecomesamissi
    on
    togeti
    ttoli
    stentoherinthemorni
    ng.I
    ’veseent hest
    r essi
    tcausesher.I
    t’
    sfunnyand
    someti
    mesIt easehersayi
    ngsheshouldjustcutifof
    fandgobal d.That’
    shercrown,
    youdon’
    t
    messwiththequeen’scrown.

    She’
    sal
    readyi
    nhersl
    eepwear
    ,Iguessshe’
    shadhershower
    .

    Ipot
    terbehi
    ndherandwr apmyar msaroundherwai
    st,
    let
    tingmyhandsset t
    leonherst
    omach.
    Wemakeey econtacti
    nt hemir
    ror.Ibur
    ymyfaceonthecurveofherneckandplaceaclammy
    ki
    ss,whil
    eimpi
    shl
    ybi t
    ingherneck.Sheshi
    esaway,t
    hecolourofhercheeksgiv
    ingawayher
    bl
    ush.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Iwhi
    speri
    nherearandshepout
    s.

    Thi
    shasbecomeanor
    minthi
    srel
    ati
    onship,
    itst
    art
    swi
    thher
    ,losi
    nghercool
    andt
    alki
    ngshi
    t
    andendswi
    thmeapol
    ogi
    zi
    ngforwhatIdon’
    tknow.

    IknowonedayIwi
    l
    lgett
    ir
    edofpaci
    fyi
    ngher
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Met
    oo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yout
    oowhat
    ?”

    Ibi
    tehernecksof
    tl
    yandshegi
    ggl
    es,
    placi
    ngherhandsonmi
    ne.

    Khethu:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryt
    oo,Ididn’
    tmeant
    ospeakt
    oyoui
    nthatmanner
    .I’
    m scar
    edt
    hatI
    ’
    lll
    osey
    ou
    tosomeoneelseSt
    yles.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youar
    etheonl
    yonef
    ormeKhet
    hu,
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Shet
    urnsar
    oundt
    ofacemeatt
    hesoundofmyassur
    ance.

    Khet
    hu:“But
    ,whati
    fonedayyouwakeupwi
    thachangeofhear
    t?We’
    renotmar
    ri
    edSt
    yles,
    I
    can’
    tcl
    aimyouasmyown. ”

    Me:
    “Nott
    hatagai
    nKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Itoddl
    etotheoneseatercouchthat’
    sfaci
    ngthebedandsi
    t,Ihat
    ethi
    sconv
    ersat
    ion.She
    knowsittoobutshehasat endencyt
    obr i
    ngi
    tup.
    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m sousedt
    obei
    ngsomeoney
    oul
    oveandIdon’
    twantt
    hatt
    ochange.
    ”

    Me:
    “Andi
    twon’
    tchangebaby
    ,you’
    l
    lal
    way
    sbet
    hatsomeonef
    orme.Mar
    ri
    edornot
    .”

    We’
    vehadt
    hisconv
    ersat
    ionbef
    ore,
    eacht
    imeIkeepant
    ici
    pat
    ingt
    hatsheunder
    stands.

    Khet
    hu:“We’
    real
    readyl
    i
    vingt
    oget
    herSt
    yles.Whatdi
    ff
    erencewi
    l
    litmakei
    fweseal
    itwi
    tha
    marr
    iagecer
    ti
    fi
    cate?
    ”

    Me:
    “Exact
    ly,
    whatdi
    ff
    erencewi
    l
    litmake?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “YouknowwhatImean.
    ”

    Shesi
    tsont
    hebedf
    aci
    ngme,
    herey
    eshol
    dingbackt
    ear
    s.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwantt
    obel
    ongt
    osomeoneSt
    yles.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youdobel
    ongt
    osomeone,
    me.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Forasmar
    tmany
    ousur
    ear
    e-”

    Shest
    opsatthesi
    ghtofmyst
    ernl
    ook,
    sheshi
    ft
    suncomf
    ort
    abl
    yasIst
    andonmyf
    eet
    .My
    gl
    owerdi
    rect
    edtoher.

    Me: “KhethukuthulaDladla,Iloveyou.God,Ihaveneverl
    ovedanyonethewayIhav elovedyou.
    But,disrespectmeagai nandIwi llt
    hrowthatl
    oveinthetr
    ash.Iwil
    lwipeyououtofmyhear tso
    fasti
    twi lll
    eavey ourheadspi nning.I
    fyourfat
    herl
    etsyouspeaktohiml i
    kethat,
    don’tthi
    nkIwil
    l
    aswel l.Ihavebloodytoleratedy ourbit
    chi
    nessbecauseIlov
    ey oubutI’
    m aboutthi
    scloseto
    snappingandonceIsnap, there’
    snot urni
    ngback.
    ”

    She’
    slooki
    ngupatme,
    herl
    owerl
    i
    pisqui
    ver
    ing.Ihav
    ejusti
    nst
    il
    ledf
    eari
    nher
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    rySt
    yles.
    ”

    Herv
    oicebr
    eaks,
    shedr
    opsherey
    esasshamev
    isi
    tsher
    .

    Me:
    “Sinceyou’
    real
    way
    sfucki
    ngup,
    Isuggesty
    ousav
    ethatsor
    ry.Youonl
    yhav
    e,butaf
    ewof
    t
    hem l
    eft.
    ”

    Ipr
    ocl
    aim bef
    oret
    urni
    ngt
    owal
    kout
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesIapol
    ogi
    ze.
    ”

    Sheshout
    saf
    terme,
    butI
    ’
    m donet
    alki
    ngt
    oher
    .Ishutt
    hedoor
    .

    Idet
    esti
    mpudence.

    NOMBULELO*

    Ihavebeenli
    steni
    ngtomypar
    ent
    sargui
    ngf
    ortwohoursnow.Whendadwokeupfrom t
    he
    couch,hewentlooki
    ngf
    ormom.Shewasst
    il
    lasl
    eepbuthedi
    dn’
    tcar
    e,hi
    seff
    ortt
    owakeher
    upwasf ai
    li
    ngsohepushedherofft
    hebedandshefel
    lwi
    thathud.Ther
    ewasconf usi
    ononher
    faceforamomentbefor
    ehermi ndr
    egi
    ster
    edwhatwashappeni
    ng.Theybeganbarki
    ngateach
    other
    ,Icoul
    dn’
    tst
    anditsoIwalkedout
    .Theyhav
    ebeenateachother
    ’st
    hroatssi
    nce.

    Ican’
    ttel
    lwhatt
    heargumenti
    saboutbecauset
    heyar
    ebot
    hfi
    ght
    ingt
    obehear
    d,butIhav
    ea
    cl
    ueithassomethi
    ngtodowit
    hwhathappenedtoday
    .

    I
    ’m sur
    eMar
    thacanheart
    hem nextdoor
    ,andshe’
    spr
    obabl
    yhav
    ingsecondt
    hought
    sabout
    bei
    ngmyfat
    her’
    ssecondwif
    e.

    That’
    showcl oseherhouseis,Marthali
    vesaloneinaoneroomedRDPhouse.Act ual
    l
    yallthese
    housesaregov ernmenthouses,
    wear eoneoft hepeopl
    ewhower ef
    ort
    unateenoughtoext end
    thehouse.Twobedr oomswer eadded,abathroom wit
    hatoi
    letandaki
    tchen.Theori
    ginal
    r oom
    becamet hesit
    tingroom.

    Thisal
    lhappenedayearaft
    erAmaramovedinwit
    hus, atthebackofmymi
    ndIalwaysknew
    thatt
    heyusedheri
    nheri
    tance.Shenev
    ersawacent,shewasonl yal
    l
    owedt
    ostudyti
    l
    lgrade12
    andbecameahousehel pwhil
    eIwassenttost
    udyfurther
    .

    Iscurr
    youtofmyroom atthesoundofabot t
    lebr
    eaki
    ng,thei
    rbedroom i
    srightnexttomine.
    Dadissit
    ti
    ngonthefl
    oorwi t
    hhishandpressedonhishead,hi
    sfaceiscoveredinbloodand
    ther
    e’sbr
    okenpi
    ecesofglassaroundhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Mama,
    whathav
    eyoudone?
    ”

    Iscr
    eam ather,
    she’sstandi
    ngafewfeetf
    rom hi
    m,car
    ryi
    ngherhandsonherhead.Icansee
    herbodyshaki
    ngfrom here,andt
    ear
    shavetakenov
    erheral
    mostwrinkl
    edf
    ace.She’s
    over
    comebyf earandguilt
    .

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Moses,
    Mosesur
    ight
    ?”(
    Arey
    ouokay
    ?)

    Herv
    oicer
    efusest
    osuppor
    therwor
    dsasi
    tbr
    eaks.

    Dadl
    ooksoutofi
    t,Ir
    untohi
    m aft
    ergrabbi
    ngashi
    rtf
    rom t
    hewashi
    ngbasket
    .Iusei
    ttopr
    ess
    t
    hewoundonhishead,hegr
    oansinpain.

    Me:
    “Cal
    lanambul
    ancemama.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ructheri
    npani
    c.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Ngi
    zoy
    ichazakanj
    ani
    lendabaLel
    o?They
    ’l
    lsendmet
    ojai
    l
    .”(
    Howwi
    l
    lIexpl
    aint
    his?
    )

    Shestar
    tscry
    ingandit
    ’ssoannoy
    ing.Myf
    atheri
    sbadl
    yinj
    ured,
    he’
    slosi
    ngal
    otofbl
    oodand
    al
    lshecaresabouti
    shersel
    f.

    Me: “
    Wouldyourat
    herhedieskee?I
    fhedi
    esmamathenyoushoul
    dst
    artworry
    ingabout
    spendingl
    i
    feinj
    ail
    ,butr
    ightnowweneedtohel
    phi
    m.Iam notl
    osi
    ngmyfather.
    ”

    Ichast
    iseherwhi
    l
    eshout
    ingbutitseemsli
    keshe’
    snother
    e,allshe’
    sdoingi
    scr
    ywhi
    l
    e
    watchi
    nghim.Shedr
    opstoherknees,weepi
    ngli
    kesomeonejustdied.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    saMoses…Ngi
    xol
    elebabakaLel
    o.”(
    I’
    m sor
    ryMoses,
    for
    giv
    emeLel
    o’s
    f
    ather
    .)

    Shewai
    l
    slouderandIam br
    ownedof
    fbyt
    hesi
    ghtbef
    oreme.

    Thi
    sol
    dwomani
    sdr
    ivi
    ngmecr
    azy
    .Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erf
    orgi
    veheri
    fany
    thi
    ngbadhappenst
    omyf
    ather
    .

    Ispr
    intbacktomyr oom togetmyphone, Ihavet
    odoev eryt
    hingbymyselfi
    nt hi
    shouse.
    Sometimesitfeel
    slikeIl
    i
    v ewitht
    wot eenager
    swhor ef
    usetogr owup,Ist
    andwi t
    hmydecisi
    on
    tomov eout.We’l
    lseehowt heyputupwi t
    heachotherwit
    houtanysupervi
    sion.

    RANDALL*

    “
    Uzey
    ouneedt
    oeatandgot
    obed,
    youcan’
    tsi
    ther
    ethewhol
    eni
    ght
    .”

    Thi
    si sChioma,she’
    stheonl
    yoneall
    owedtocal
    lmebyt hi
    snati
    venamethatIdetest
    .Actual
    l
    y
    sheinsi
    sted,shesai
    dshewil
    lnotcal
    lmebyaEuropeannamebecauseI’
    m Afri
    can.Atfi
    rstI
    neverusedtorespondwhenshewouldut
    teri
    tbutgotusedtoi
    tasti
    mewentby .

    Sheli
    vesint
    heouthousejustout
    sidethismansi
    on.I
    thastwobedrooms,
    abat hr
    oom ki
    tchen
    andli
    vi
    ngroom.Iaskedhertomov eintothemansi
    ontemporar
    il
    ywhenIbroughtAmarahere,I
    neededhert
    otakecareofher.

    Chi
    omaisNiger
    ian,she’
    sbeenaroundforaslongasIcanremember.Shel
    ivedinthesamefl
    at
    wit
    hmeandSt y
    lesinHil
    lbr
    ow.Therewasaboutsixpeopl
    eshari
    ngthatoneflat
    .Itwasver
    y
    cr
    owdedandstuff
    y,andtheonl
    yprivacyyouwouldhavewaswhenyou’rei
    nthetoil
    et.

    Sheusedt
    ocookf orus,washourcl
    othesandsometimescl eant
    heroom weslepti
    n.Iknew
    shewasagenuinepersonwhensherefusedpaymentforhergooddeeds,shesaidbecausewe
    arel
    i
    keherchi
    ldren.Wegaveherthesenseofbeingamot herassheneverhadchil
    drenofher
    own.

    Sowhenmyli
    fet
    urnedar
    ound,
    Itookheri
    n.Shei
    saboutt
    hesameageasmymot
    her
    ,onl
    ythr
    ee
    year
    sol
    der
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m notl
    eav
    ingheral
    onema.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Not
    hingwi
    l
    lhappent
    oherUze.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    opt
    ryi
    ngt
    oconv
    incemebecausei
    twi
    l
    lnotwor
    k.”

    Ist
    andmygr
    ound,
    IrespectherbutI
    ’
    m notl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    oherwheni
    tcomest
    othi
    s.

    Shesi
    ghsheav
    il
    y.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    l
    lleav
    ethef
    oodher
    ejusti
    ncasey
    ouchangey
    ourmi
    nd.
    ”

    Shesqueezesmyshoul
    derbef
    orewal
    ki
    ngout
    .

    I
    ’
    m st
    il
    lhol
    dingAmar
    a’shand,
    Iwanthert
    oknowt
    hatI
    ’
    m her
    eandIdon’
    tpl
    anonl
    eav
    ingher
    si
    de.

    Myphoner i
    ngs,
    itsayspr
    ivat
    enumber
    .Amar
    ast
    ir
    sabi
    tatt
    hesoundoft
    hisl
    oudr
    ingt
    one,
    dar
    n
    i
    t!Ishoul
    dhaveputitonsi
    lent
    .

    Cur
    iosi
    tycompel
    smet
    oanswer
    ,Inev
    ergetpr
    ivat
    ecal
    l
    s.So,
    may
    bet
    hisi
    ssomet
    hingIwoul
    d
    wanttohear
    .

    Idashoutt
    hedoorqui
    etl
    ycl
    osi
    ngi
    t.

    Me:
    “Speak.
    ”

    Igi
    veoutanat
    ti
    tudej
    usti
    ncasei
    t’
    ssomef
    uckerwhot
    hinksI
    ’
    mthei
    rfr
    iend.

    “
    Notev
    ena‘
    goodev
    eni
    ng’
    toanol
    dfr
    iend.
    ”

    Iguessedr
    ight
    …

    Thi
    sIt
    ali
    ani
    diott
    hinksIhav
    eti
    met
    oent
    ert
    ainhi
    m.

    Me:“AndIt
    houghty
    ouranandhi
    dunderar
    ock.Youshoul
    dn’
    thav
    ecomeoutFr
    anco,
    unl
    ess
    youhaveadeat
    hwish.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Iwanty
    out
    oknowI
    ’
    m ont
    oyouOkol
    i
    e,y
    ouki
    l
    ledmycousi
    nMat
    teo.
    ”

    Hegr
    oans,
    het
    hinkshecani
    nti
    midat
    emewi
    thhi
    sugl
    yvoi
    ce.

    Me:
    “Youhadmywoman,
    any
    onewhot
    ouchesherdi
    es.Idon’
    tmakeexcept
    ionswheni
    tcomes
    t
    oher.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:“
    Thecol
    dhear
    tedOkoli
    eboyfinal
    lyhasaweakness,
    Ishoul
    dhav
    esl
    i
    thert
    hroatj
    ustt
    o
    makeyousuf
    fer
    .Pi
    tyI
    ’
    m onlybeingi
    nformednow.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyouf
    orsay
    ingt
    hatFr
    anco.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “I’
    m aghost
    ,youcan’
    ttouchme.
    ”

    Ther
    e’sanasser
    ti
    oni
    nhi
    svoi
    ce,
    her
    eal
    l
    ydoest
    hinkt
    hathe’
    sunt
    ouchabl
    e.

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmeagai
    nFr
    anco.What
    ’sy
    ourdeal
    ?”

    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    oheart
    hisone…

    Styl
    esandIusedtoworkcloselywit
    hFranco’
    sfat
    her
    ,itwasagoodr
    espect
    ful
    busi
    ness
    rel
    ati
    onshi
    p.But
    ,thi
    sfool
    hat edhisfat
    herandso,
    hekill
    edhi
    m.

    Hetookovert
    hef amil
    ybusi
    ness,creat
    edenemi esforhimselfi
    ntheunder
    worl
    d.Li
    keIsai
    d,he
    thi
    nkshe’
    suntouchabl
    ehence,cal
    lshimselfGhost.Unfort
    unatel
    yforhi
    m,nooneseemstobe
    acknowl
    edgi
    ngthisnameasweal lcontinuetocallhi
    m Franco.He’
    satoddl
    eri
    nabigman’s
    shoes.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”
    Fr
    anco:
    “Justt
    opi
    ssy
    ouof
    f.
    ”

    Di
    dInotsayhe’
    sat
    oddl
    er?

    Me:“
    Ibegt
    odi
    ff
    er.You’
    resucki
    ngdi
    cknowFr
    anco?Wow,
    you’
    resucki
    ngMkhi
    ze’
    sdef
    ormed
    di
    ck?
    ”

    Il
    augh,
    Iknowt
    hiswi
    l
    lsendhi
    m onahi
    ght
    ri
    pofr
    age.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Vaf
    fancul
    oOkol
    i
    e.”(
    Fucky
    ouOkol
    i
    e)

    Hegr
    umbl
    es.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lpass,
    Ipr
    eferwomen,
    thanks.
    ”

    It
    hrowawi
    secr
    ack.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Sei
    fot
    tut
    ament
    emor
    topezz
    odi
    mer
    da.
    ”(You’
    ref
    ucki
    ngdeady
    oupi
    eceofshi
    t.
    )

    Me:
    “Sognar
    eèbel
    l
    oav
    olt
    eragazzoFr
    anco.
    ”(Dr
    eami
    ngi
    sni
    cesomet
    imesFr
    ancoboy
    .)

    Ir
    ipost
    e.

    Fr
    anco:
    “I’
    m comi
    ngf
    ory
    ouOkol
    i
    e,y
    ouandt
    hatl
    i
    ttl
    ebeaut
    yyouhav
    ether
    e.”

    Hi
    sext
    ort
    ionsdon’
    tmov
    eme.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lsl
    i
    cey
    oubef
    orey
    ouev
    ent
    ouchher
    .”

    He’
    spissi
    ngmeof
    fbyt
    hreat
    eni
    ngAmar
    a,Ican’
    thearawor
    dagai
    nsther
    .Hel
    aughsatmy
    comeback.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Iwi
    l
    lpayami
    l
    li
    ont
    oseey
    ourf
    acewhenIhandhert
    oMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Me:“
    Thisi
    sSout
    hAf
    ri
    cay
    ouf
    uck,
    you’
    rei
    nmyt
    urf
    .Ev
    ent
    hatol
    dgeezerwon’
    tbeabl
    etosav
    e
    youf
    rom me.
    ”

    Thi
    sisonemi
    stakehemakes,
    het
    hinksbecausehi
    sfat
    herwasf
    ear
    ed,
    thesamewi
    l
    lappl
    yfor
    hi
    m.

    Fr
    anco:
    “I’
    m notaf
    rai
    dofadogwi
    thnot
    eet
    h.”

    Hei
    nsul
    tsme.

    Thener
    veoft
    hisasshol
    e.

    Me:
    “Ohbut
    ,thi
    sdoghast
    ransf
    ormedi
    ntoabeastandhe’
    sgotv
    enomousf
    angs.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Youi
    mpassi
    vebast
    ard,
    Iwi
    l
    ldest
    royt
    hatunf
    li
    nchi
    ngat
    ti
    tude.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m pl
    easedy
    ouknowmev
    erywel
    lFr
    anco,
    I’
    m noti
    nti
    midat
    edbyany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “You’
    regoi
    ngt
    opayOkol
    i
    e.”

    It
    hinkhe’
    soutofi
    nsul
    ts,
    hesoundsdef
    eat
    ed.
    Me:“
    Wor dofadvi
    ce,nev
    erst
    artsomet
    hingy
    oucan’
    tfi
    nishf
    ool
    .Hav
    efunpl
    ayi
    ngwi
    thMkhi
    ze’
    s
    ol
    dwrinkl
    edball
    s.”

    Iaccompanymysal
    l
    ywi
    thasubduedchor
    tl
    ebef
    oredr
    oppi
    ngt
    hecal
    l
    .

    Ithi
    nkI’
    vebeentoocomfort
    abl
    e,peoplethi
    nkt heycanjumpovermyhead.Mkhizedaredt
    o
    chall
    engemebycomi ngt
    omyhouseandt akingwhat’smine,
    nowthisidi
    ott
    hinksIhavet
    ime
    forgames.Ineedt
    ochangemode, Ican’
    taffordtobesoftorel
    seI’
    l
    lloseAmara.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    12*

    AMARA*

    Iwakeupfr
    om adeepsl
    umberfeel
    i
    ngwearyandsl
    uggi
    sh,It
    urnmyheadt
    oseehi
    m hol
    dingmy
    hand.Hi
    sheadr
    esti
    ngontheedgeoft
    hebedwhil
    ehesit
    sont hef
    loor
    .

    Il
    etmyeyesscanther
    oom andmyheartshatt
    ersatther
    eal
    izat
    ionthatI
    ’
    m sti
    l
    linthi
    sprison.
    Themorni
    ngli
    ghti
    sshini
    ngthr
    oughthewindow,al
    mostmakingthisenor
    mousr oom l
    ookl i
    ke
    heav
    en.Thecur
    tai
    nsareext
    ensi
    vel
    yopenandonewi ndowissli
    ghtl
    yopenenoughtoletairin.

    Il
    ookbackatthedaunti
    ngmanwhost i
    llhasmyhandint
    hegr
    ipofhiswarm hand,
    there’
    sa
    st
    rangef
    eel
    ingIcan’ti
    gnor
    ethatconv
    incesmethatt
    hisi
    swhereIbel
    ong.Ri
    ghtbesidehim.

    Ican’
    tshaket
    hisf
    eel
    i
    ngandIhat
    eitbecausei
    tiscont
    radi
    cti
    ngwi
    thmymi
    nd.

    Whyi
    sheher
    eany
    way
    ?

    Hepr
    etendst
    ocar
    eformebutr
    efusest
    orel
    easeme.

    Isawhiseyesl
    astni
    ght
    ,theyspeakataleofpassi
    on.Nev
    erhav eIseenal
    ookofloveinone’
    s
    eyesastheonehehadonwhileleer
    ingatme,itmademef eel
    li
    keIwaswortheverybeaut
    if
    ul
    thi
    nginthi
    sworl
    d.

    I
    fthi
    smanholdssomuchaf f
    ecti
    onforastr
    angerhedoesnotknow,
    whydoeshi
    sact
    ionsnot
    bot
    hert
    hatIam bei
    ngkeptagai
    nstmywill
    ?

    Helooksl
    i
    keanangel
    whi
    lesleepi
    ng.Thedar
    kauraandt
    hearr
    ogancear
    enotv
    isi
    bleatt
    he
    pr
    esentmoment
    ,heal
    mostseemsl i
    keanormal
    humanbeing.

    Li
    kehef
    eel
    smewatchi
    nghim,
    heopenshisheav
    y-l
    i
    ddedey
    es.Asmugsmi
    l
    edashest
    ohi
    s
    mout
    hcommandi
    ngmet or
    api
    dlyl
    ookaway.

    Tot
    hinkIwasal
    mostf
    ool
    edbyt
    hei
    nnocenceofasl
    eepi
    ngbeast
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Wel
    comeback.
    ”

    Hi
    ssmokyv
    oicef
    il
    lsmyear
    smaki
    ngmeshi
    ver
    .

    He’ssti
    l
    lhol
    dingmyhandandIhav
    enocluewhyIhav
    en’tclai
    medi
    tback,
    howev
    er,
    her
    eleases
    i
    tjustasmymi ndi
    sconvey
    ingamessaget
    omyhandt oletgo.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”

    Hesitsontheedgeoft hebedfaci
    ngme,
    hisgazei
    ntensi
    fyi
    ng.Iwantt
    olookawaybuthi
    sey
    es
    arespel
    lbi
    nding.It
    ’st
    oolatet
    opushmyheadbackasher eacheshi
    shandtotouchmy
    for
    ehead,checkingmytemperatur
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“You’
    rebur
    ningup.
    ”
    Idon’tknowhowt
    orespondt
    othat
    ,andt
    hel
    ookofunmi
    ti
    gat
    edadmi
    rat
    ioni
    nhi
    sey
    esi
    snot
    hel
    pingatall
    .

    I
    ’
    m pl
    anni
    ngonnotspeaki
    ngt
    ohi
    m atal
    l
    .

    Yes,
    thi
    siswhatIwantbutchancesar
    e,Iwi
    l
    lendupsay
    ingsomet
    hingt
    ohi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a,Ineedt
    oknowi
    fyou’
    reokayaf
    terl
    astni
    ght
    .”

    Lastni
    ghtfeel
    sli
    keadream,oneIdonotwantt
    orel
    iv
    e.I’m sti
    l
    lmysti
    fi
    edbytheev
    ent
    sthat
    happenedandImightnothav
    esaidthi
    soutl
    oudbutI
    ’m gratef
    ult
    hathesavedme.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    orsav
    ingme.
    ”

    Myunf
    ait
    hful
    mouthbl
    urt
    sthatoutunexpect
    edl
    yandagai
    nstmywi
    sh.Hi
    supperl
    i
    pcur
    lsbef
    ore
    asi
    desmil
    eformsonhi
    smouth.

    Thisdoesn’tchangeanyt
    hing,Isti
    l
    lwanttogobackhome.Iwantt
    oseemyf amily
    ,beingkept
    herehasmadewonderi fIwi l
    leverseet
    hem agai
    n.Dotheymi
    ssmeornot i
    cethatI’
    m not
    around.Iknowmyuncl ewilll
    i
    eaboutmywher eabout
    s,t
    hatgr
    eedyev
    ilbast
    ard.

    Whatdi
    dmyauntseei
    nhi
    m any
    way
    ?

    Me:
    “Whenwi
    l
    lyoul
    etmego?Iwantt
    oseemyf
    ami
    l
    y,Iwantt
    ogohome.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mtaki
    ngchancesher
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    sisy
    ourhomenowAmar
    a.”

    Me:“Whyar
    eyoukeepingmeher e?Idon’
    twanttobehereandthepoli
    cearepr
    obabl
    ylooki
    ng
    forme.I
    ’
    m sur
    ethere’
    spict
    uresofmesplashedall
    oversoci
    almedia.Pr
    ett
    ysoonthi
    splacewi
    ll
    beswampedwithpoli
    ce.
    ”

    Thepl
    ani
    stot
    aponhi
    sfearabi
    t,hopef
    ull
    yitwor
    ksandhel
    etsmego.

    Hef ur
    rowshi
    sbr
    owsli
    ght
    lyt
    il
    ti
    nghi
    sheadt
    othesi
    deandnotasecondaf
    ter
    ,ahaught
    ylaugh
    escapeshi
    smouth.

    Randal
    l:
    “Whichpolice?Pr
    incess,
    ifwe’r
    etalkingaboutSouthAfr
    icanpoli
    cethenI’m sor
    ry,
    you’
    rest
    uckhere.Letmejusteasey ourmindabi tbecauseyouseem tobestressi
    ngal ot
    ,no
    oneisl
    ooki
    ngf oryouAmar anotasingleperson.Takemyadv i
    cewill
    you?Andgetcomf ort
    abl
    e.”

    Hestr
    okesmycheekashecompl
    acent
    lyst
    atesahear
    tbreaki
    ngtrut
    h.I
    ’
    veseencasesl
    i
    ket
    his,
    wher
    ewomengomi ssi
    ngandar
    efounddeadinasecl
    udedarea.

    If
    eel
    ever
    ybonei
    nmegocol
    d.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme?
    ”

    Say
    ingi
    ttor
    ment
    sme.

    Helooksof
    fendedbythisquest
    ion,Icoul
    dbewrong.Inthet wodaysIhav
    eknownthi
    sman,I
    hav
    ecomet otheconclusi
    onthathe’stwodi
    ff
    erentpeople.Ihopehe’
    snotoneoft
    hosewi
    tha
    spl
    i
    tper
    sonal
    i
    tyot
    her
    wisemyl
    i
    fei
    sindanger
    .

    Randal
    l:
    “Idon’
    tbl
    amey
    ouf
    ort
    hinki
    ngt
    hat
    ,buti
    fIwant
    edy
    oudead,
    youwoul
    dn’
    tbeher
    eri
    ght
    now.”

    Hi
    swor
    dsar
    ebonechi
    l
    li
    ng.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoukeepi
    ngmeher
    ethen?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Topr
    otecty
    ouAmar
    a.”

    Hesay
    sitsensi
    ti
    vel
    yasi
    fmebei
    ngpr
    otect
    edmeanst
    hewor
    ldt
    ohi
    m.

    Me:
    “Fr
    om what
    ?Youdon’
    tev
    enknowme.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“You’
    l
    lfi
    ndoutsoonenough.
    ”

    Idon’
    ttr
    usthi
    m buthesoundsassur
    ing.

    Me:“
    Okaybut…please,
    canIseemycousi
    n,j
    ustonce?Iwon’
    tmakeascene,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.Iwon’
    t
    ev
    enhintt
    hatI
    ’m bei
    ngkepther
    eagai
    nstmywill
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youneedt
    oeat
    .”

    Hepr
    onounces,
    compl
    etel
    yignor
    ingmyr
    equest
    .

    Me:“
    Please,j
    ustonemeet
    ingwi
    thher.I
    ’l
    ltel
    lherthatwe’
    veknowneachotherforalongti
    me
    andwehav ef
    all
    eninl
    oveandwanttobetogetherand,t
    hereasonIdi
    dn’
    ttel
    lthem aboutyou
    wasbecauseIwasafr
    aidt
    hey’
    dneveracceptyou.”

    Iprat
    tl
    eon, i
    tsoundsper
    fecti
    nmyheadandI’
    m convi
    ncedi
    twi
    l
    lwor
    k.I
    fhecar
    esl
    i
    keIt
    hinkhe
    does,thenbytheendofthi
    sday.Iwi
    l
    lbet
    alki
    ngtoLel
    o.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yourbodyi
    sweak,
    itneedsnut
    ri
    ent
    s.Forhowl
    ongdoy
    oupl
    anonst
    arv
    ingy
    our
    sel
    f?”

    Real
    l
    y?

    I
    shegoi
    ngt
    oignor
    emel
    i
    keI
    ’
    m speaki
    nggi
    bber
    ish?

    If
    eel
    li
    kecr
    ap…Bei
    ngi
    gnor
    edi
    snotani
    cef
    eel
    i
    ng.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”

    Iscr
    eam athi
    m ast
    ear
    sst
    reakmyf
    ace,
    Ican’
    tcompr
    ehendwhyhe’
    sdoi
    ngt
    hist
    ome.

    Hef
    rowns,
    notoncehasher
    aisedhi
    svoi
    ceatme.

    Randal
    l:
    "Youneedtocal
    m downAmara,yourbodyissti
    l
    lweak.Eatf
    ir
    stt
    hen,
    youcant
    akeout
    al
    lyourfr
    ust
    rat
    ionsonme,whenyourst
    omachi sful
    l.
    ”

    Thear
    roganceofthisman,Igi
    veupandmydisl
    oyal
    tear
    shavebet
    ray
    edme.Thatadmir
    ati
    onhe
    hadi
    nhiseyesfeelsanci
    entastheynowwel
    comeacoldst
    are,
    Imadehi
    m angr
    ybyinsi
    sti
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ther
    e’syourf
    ood,I’
    l
    lgetsomeonet
    owar
    mitf
    ory
    ou.
    ”Hegest
    urest
    omyr
    ightsi
    de,
    I
    tur
    ntoseeaplateofoatmeal
    .
    Me:
    “I’
    m nothungr
    y.”

    Il
    i
    e,I
    ’
    mrav
    enous.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hungr
    yornot
    ,you’
    regoi
    ngt
    oeat
    .”

    Heaf
    fi
    rmsbef
    orewal
    ki
    ngout
    .

    Iknowhe’
    snotki
    ddi
    ng.

    NOMBULELO*

    Dadwasadmi t
    tedl astni
    ghtatSebokengHospital
    ,Ihadtoli
    etothenursesandsayhewas
    robbedwhilewalkinghomef rom work.Mom hasn’
    tstoppedcryi
    ngsince,I
    ’
    llbel
    yingifIsayI
    feelsorr
    yforher.Iwi sht
    heguil
    tconsumesherwhol ebeingbecauseshebroughtthi
    supon
    herself
    .

    Whatwasshet
    hinki
    ngwhenshet
    hrewabeerbot
    tl
    eatherhusband?

    I
    ’
    m nervousaboutthemeeti
    ngwi
    thZuma,Ihopehet
    akest
    henewswel
    l
    .Younev
    erknowwi
    th
    t
    hatgender,
    mybi ggestf
    eari
    shi
    m deny
    inghi
    sbaby.

    If
    indhi
    m outsi
    dehangi
    ngcl
    othesonthel
    i
    ne,
    ther
    e’sanabandonedpl
    ateofhal
    feat
    enpapand
    ki
    dneybeansonabenchcl
    osetothedoor
    .

    Heseesmeandsmi
    l
    es,
    that
    ’smyweaknessr
    ightt
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “Zuzu.
    ”

    Thi
    snamebeganwi
    thmet
    easi
    nghi
    m,hehat
    edi
    tfi
    rstbutIguessi
    tgr
    ewonhi
    m.

    Zuma:
    “You’
    reear
    ly.
    ”

    Heannouncesashecont
    inueshangi
    nghi
    scl
    othes.

    Me:
    “Itwasn’
    thar
    dget
    ti
    ngat
    axi
    .”

    Isitonthebench,accompanyi
    ngthedir
    typl
    ateoffood.Zumaisnott
    hetypeofmanwhowoul d
    attacky
    ouwi thahugorakisswhenheseesy ou,evenourgoodby
    esaredry
    ,unl
    essIi
    nit
    iat
    ethe
    fi
    rstmov e.Iwon’
    ttouchonthesextopi
    cbecause…

    Si
    gh!

    Il
    ovehi
    m andI
    ’
    m her
    e.

    Thel
    oveIf
    eel
    forhi
    m ov
    err
    idesev
    eryl
    ack.

    Zuma:
    “So,
    whatdi
    dyouwantt
    otal
    kabout
    ?”

    Hedoesn’
    twast
    eti
    me.
    Me:
    “Pl
    easecomesi
    twi
    thme.
    ”

    Hest
    opswhathe’
    sdoi
    ng,
    peekssi
    deway
    satmewi
    thaconcer
    nedexpr
    essi
    on.

    Zuma:
    “Whati
    sitLel
    o?”

    I
    ’
    m notsur
    eIl
    i
    ket
    het
    oneofhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Whyi
    shesuddenl
    ysoser
    ious?Ihav
    en’
    tbr
    okent
    henewst
    ohi
    myet
    .

    Hef
    oldshi
    sar
    msacr
    osshi
    schest
    ,int
    ent
    lyl
    ooki
    ngatme.

    Me:
    “I’
    m pr
    egnant
    .”

    It
    ’sbet
    tert
    ogeti
    tof
    fmychestt
    hanbeatar
    oundt
    hebush,
    whi
    chwi
    l
    lonl
    ymakememor
    e
    anxi
    ous.

    Zuma:
    “What
    ?”

    Theshocki
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Hi
    sfacedoesn’
    thi
    det
    heshockedex
    pressi
    onaswel
    landhel
    ooksabi
    ttr
    oubl
    ed.

    Me:
    “I’
    m pr
    eg-
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Ihear
    dyou.Congr
    atul
    ati
    ons,
    Iguess.
    ”

    Heshr
    ugs.

    Hi
    snextwor
    dshav
    emyey
    eswi
    deni
    ngi
    nshock.

    Zuma:
    “Who’
    sthef
    ather
    ?DoIknowhi
    m?”

    Real
    l
    y?

    Me:“Whatdoy
    oumean?You’
    ret
    heonl
    ymanIhav
    eev
    ersl
    eptwi
    th.ZumaIgav
    eyoumy
    vi
    rgi
    nit
    y.”

    I
    ’
    m onmyf
    eetnow,
    pani
    cki
    ngandt
    hisf
    ool
    looksascool
    asacucumber
    .

    Zuma:“
    Wherei
    stheproofoft
    hatNombul
    elo?Sel
    fi
    eny
    ana?Imeant
    hat
    ’swhaty
    ouwomendo,
    ri
    ght
    ?Youcapt
    ureev
    erythi
    ngoncamer
    a.”

    Myhear
    tbr
    eaksi
    ntoami
    l
    li
    onpi
    ecesatt
    hesoundofhi
    staunt
    s.Isowantt
    osl
    aphi
    mri
    ghtnow.

    Me:
    “Zuma?Sot
    hisi
    syousay
    ingal
    loft
    hist
    ome?
    ”

    Mymi
    ndst
    il
    lcan’
    tgr
    aspwhati
    shappeni
    ngandwhatI
    ’
    m hear
    ing.

    Zuma: “
    Yes,it
    ’sme.Lal
    elalaNombul
    elo,
    all
    thegi
    rlsIhav
    esleptwi
    thnevercamet ome
    cl
    aimingthattheyar
    epregnant
    .Andwenawhatareyoutryi
    ngtodoLel
    o?Yout hi
    nky ou’
    re
    cl
    everneh?Youwantt otr
    apmewi t
    hababy ?Her
    eIwast hi
    nki
    ngyouweresmar t
    .”(Li
    stenher
    e.)

    Me:“FusekiZuma,f
    useki
    yezwa?Youbl
    oodyshi
    t,Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveIgav
    emy
    sel
    ftoabast
    ardl
    i
    ke
    you.
    ”(PissoffZuma)
    Ishout
    ,helooksatmel
    ikehewantst
    ost r
    angl
    emebutIknowhewon’
    tdar
    etouchme,
    not
    whenther
    e’ssomanypeopleont
    hestreet
    s.

    Zuma:“Bast
    ardist
    hatt
    hingi
    nyourwomb.Hambal
    aNombul
    elo,
    gof
    indt
    hemanwhomade
    youpr
    egnant.
    ”(Go.
    )

    Ihat
    ehi
    m.

    Howdi
    dIf
    all
    inl
    ovewi
    thhi
    m?

    Ther
    emust
    ’vebeenr
    edf
    lags.Howdi
    dImi
    sst
    hem?

    Zuma:
    “Isai
    dgetoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Heshouts,gr
    abbi
    ngmyarm andbegi
    nst
    odr
    agmet
    owar
    dst
    hegat
    e.Zumai
    sbr
    eaki
    ngmy
    hear
    t,can’
    theseethat
    ?

    Peopl
    ear
    ewat
    chi
    ngandnoonedar
    est
    ost
    opt
    hismanwho’
    smanhandl
    i
    ngadef
    encel
    ess
    woman.

    Het
    hrowsmeont
    hegr
    oundandl
    ockst
    hegat
    e,l
    eav
    ingmecr
    ying.

    KHETHU*

    It’
    safter
    noonandIst i
    llhav
    en’theardfr
    om Styles,
    helefthomelastni
    ghtaftertheargument
    .I
    can’tcal
    lhim becausemyst upi
    dphonecr ashedwhenIat t
    emptedtopostapi ctur
    eofuson
    socialmedia.Thiswasaf i
    rstbecauseI’
    m notonet oadvert
    isemyli
    feinpubli
    cbutsomet hi
    ng
    tell
    smet hatI’
    m nottheonlyoneinhisli
    feandi ft
    hereisawhoreoutthere,
    sheshoul dknow
    thatheistaken.

    Styl
    eshasnev
    erspentt
    heni
    ghtawayf
    rom homebefor
    eanditbr
    eaksmyheartt
    hathewoul
    d
    dothist
    ome.IknowImessedupandpi
    ssedhim of
    fbutIwi
    l
    lnottol
    erat
    ethi
    ski
    ndoftr
    eat
    ment
    fr
    om him.

    Icoul
    dn’
    tst
    andbeinginthehouseanymore,
    timeseemedtoslowdownwhil
    ewai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    m.I
    email
    edmyfatheraski
    ngtomeetup,Ineedtospeaktosomeonewhowil
    ll
    ist
    ent
    ome.
    Alt
    houghst
    ri
    ct,heismybestfr
    iend.

    Ican’
    tsaythesamethi
    ngaboutmymotherwhojustwant
    stocontrol
    myl
    i
    fe,
    shehat
    esSt
    yles
    withapassi
    on.Ifi
    twer
    euptoher,
    Iwouldmarr
    ythepresi
    dent
    ’sson.

    I
    nherownwor
    ds,
    Icandobet
    tert
    hant
    his.

    Mymot herwasraisedwithasilv
    erspooninhermout h.Shegoteveryt
    hingshewantedandthat
    gavehertheimpressi
    onthatthewor l
    drevol
    vesaroundher,whichi
    sludacris.Myf
    atherwasin
    thepoli
    ceacademywhent heyf
    irstmet,
    accordi
    ngt ohi
    mi twasloveatfir
    stsit
    eIdon’
    tknow
    abouther.I
    ssheev encapableoflovi
    ng,al
    lshecaresaboutisherbusi
    nessesandsealingt
    he
    nextdeal.
    Dadsai
    dIwoul
    dfindhi
    m atMandel
    asquar
    e,hel
    ovest
    hecof
    feef
    rom Mugg&Bean.That
    ’s
    wher
    eweusual
    lyhaveourdat
    es.

    IwalkinandI ’
    mi mmedi atelyappr
    oachedbyawai tr
    ess,shegiv
    esmet heusual customersmil
    e
    andasksi fIwantat able.Iscanmyey esar
    oundandspotmydadsi t
    ti
    ngatat ableatthefar
    endcornerofther estaurant.Heseesmeandwav es,he’
    ssmili
    ngandalreadyIfeell
    ike
    everyt
    hingwillbeokay .Itel
    lthewait
    ressI
    ’m goodandt oddl
    etomyfather,he’
    salreadyonhis
    feetasIapproach.

    Dad:
    “Angel
    .”

    Hegi
    vesmeabr
    iefhugbef
    oreweset
    tl
    edown,
    he’
    sal
    readyor
    der
    edcof
    feef
    orus.

    Me:
    “Lookaty
    ou,
    you’
    regai
    ningwei
    ght
    .IsNobay
    eni
    final
    l
    ygr
    ant
    ingy
    ouadi
    vor
    ce?
    ”

    Hehatesi
    twhenIspeakil
    lofhi
    swi
    febutsti
    ll
    laughswhenImakesuchjokes.Idon’
    ttr
    ustthat
    woman,she’
    sneverhomeandwhensheis,
    she’sgrumpyandst
    art
    safightwithdadjustsoshe
    canhaveanexcusetol
    eave.

    Dad:
    “That
    ’sy
    ourmot
    herKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Irol
    lmyey es,
    Ireal
    l
    ydon’
    tcar
    e.I
    fsher
    ecogni
    zedmeasherdaught
    ermay
    beIwoul
    dshow
    respectt
    owardsher.

    Dad:
    “Speaki
    ngofher
    ,she’
    sbeenaski
    ngabouty
    ou.Whenar
    eyoucomi
    ngt
    othehouse?
    ”

    Me:“Remembershesai
    dasl ongasI
    ’
    m st
    il
    lwi
    thSt
    yles,
    Ishoul
    dn’
    tsetf
    ooti
    nherhouseandI
    don’
    tplanonl
    eavi
    nghim dad.”

    Hisfacechangest
    othatofannoy
    ance,
    he’
    sal
    sonotaf
    anofSt
    ylesbutt
    oler
    ateshi
    mformy
    sake.

    Dad:
    “Ist
    il
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouchoseamanov
    ery
    ourownmot
    her
    .”

    He’
    sst
    art
    ing.

    Me:“
    May beIwoul
    d’v
    echosenheri
    fshechosemewhenshebr
    oughtmei
    ntot
    hiswor
    ld,
    you
    pr
    act
    ical
    l
    yr ai
    sedmealonedad.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Thatdoesn’
    tchanget
    hef
    actt
    hatshe’
    syourmot
    her
    ,youneedt
    orespecther
    .”

    Me: “
    Nobayeni
    Dladl
    adoesn’
    tdeser
    vet
    obecal
    l
    edamother
    ,shedoesn’tevendeser
    vet
    obe
    yourwif
    e.Dadyoudon’
    tdeser
    vetobet
    reat
    edl
    i
    ket
    his,
    shedoesn’
    trespectyouand-
    ”

    Dad:
    “Enough,
    Iam notgoingtodiscussmymar r
    iagewi
    thyoukhet
    hu.You’
    reachi
    l
    dandy
    ou
    woul
    dn’
    tunderst
    and.I
    ’m notgoi
    ngt ohearany
    thi
    ngagai
    nstyourmother
    .”

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    Imumbl
    eaf
    terr
    oll
    i
    ngmyey
    es.

    Dad:
    “Howi
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    Ican’
    ttel
    lhi
    m af
    terbashi
    nghi
    m abouthi
    swi
    fe,
    he’
    l
    lcal
    lmeahy
    pocr
    it
    e.

    Me:
    “Not
    hing,
    Imi
    ssedy
    out
    hat
    ’sal
    l
    .”

    Dad:
    “May
    bey
    oushoul
    dcomehomemor
    eof
    ten.
    ”

    We’
    rebackt
    othat
    …

    Dad:“Yourmot
    heri
    shost
    ingherf
    ami
    l
    ynextweek,
    youshoul
    dcome.Yourgr
    andf
    atherwi
    l
    lbe
    ther
    e.”

    Il
    ovemygr
    andpar
    ent
    sbutt
    heyar
    ejudgement
    all
    i
    ket
    hei
    rdaught
    erso,
    I’
    ll
    pass.

    Me:“Dad,I
    ’l
    lexpl
    odeifIhearmoreof.
    ..{
    {{Whenareyouget
    t i
    ngmar
    ri
    edkhethu?Youshoul
    d
    l
    eavethatgoodfornothi
    ngboykhethu…You’ref
    rom awellofff
    ami
    l
    y,youshoul
    dmarryaman
    ofy
    ourstature.
    }}
    }That’
    sthesongtheyarealway
    ssingi
    ng.”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Dad:“
    Iwentthr
    oughthesamet hi
    ngwit
    hy ourmotheryouknow,herpar
    ent
    shat
    edme.Itwas
    onl
    ywhenyouwer ebor
    nthattheyfi
    nal
    l
    yst ar
    tedtoacceptme.Herfat
    herwasf
    orev
    ert
    hreat
    ing
    toendmyli
    febutmyloveforherwasstubborn.
    "

    Me:
    “Wasshewor
    tht
    hef
    ight
    ?”

    Hef
    rownsatmeandshakeshi
    sheaddi
    sappr
    ovi
    ngofmyat
    ti
    tudet
    owar
    dsmymot
    her
    .

    Dad:
    “Shewasandshest
    il
    li
    s,Ican’
    tseemyl
    i
    fewi
    thoutt
    hatwoman.I
    t’
    scompl
    etel
    ybl
    ank.
    ”

    Okay
    …andt
    heysaywomenar
    efr
    agi
    l
    e.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    13*

    RANDALL*

    Myfragil
    eAmara,she’
    sst
    rongerthanshelooks.Ihateseeingheri
    ntearsbutIhavenev
    erseen
    any
    thingmoreatt
    racti
    vei
    nmyl i
    fe.Hertear
    yey esswirl
    edwi t
    hherfi
    ghti
    ngspir
    itmakemelose
    mymi nd,maki
    ngmewantt otast
    eherbut ,
    Icannev erhaveherwit
    houtherconsent.

    Ican’
    taff
    ordtolosecontr
    olwi
    thher
    ,Iwantherheartaswell
    notj ustherbody.Thesi
    ghtofher
    tear
    sarousedsomethinginmeandall
    Icoul
    dt hi
    nkaboutwast akingherinmyar msand
    makingherminehence,Ihadt
    orushoutoftherebefor
    eIcoulddosomet hi
    ngIwouldregr
    et.

    Ihav ebecomeentir
    elyaddict
    edt ohertoapointthat
    ,notbeingbyhersidemakesmef eell
    ike
    mywor l
    disfall
    i
    ngapart.Ihaveaneedf orher
    ,oneIcannotcontrolanymoreanddi
    stancing
    my selff
    rom herwil
    lbeforthebestbutitwil
    lbeli
    kejumpingi nf
    rontofamov i
    ngtr
    ain.That
    optionisoutofthetabl
    e,Iwil
    ljusthavetofi
    ghtthisur
    ge.Ilovebeingi
    nhercompany .

    Iknowsheseesmeasahear
    tl
    essmonsterandi
    twi
    l
    lbedi
    ff
    icul
    ttoconv
    inceherot
    her
    wisebut
    ,
    onedayherhear
    twi
    l
    lknowmeandacceptme.

    Whenmyey eshadthepleasuretobehol
    dherbeauty,
    IknewIwoul dnev
    errestti
    llshewasmine.
    I
    twastwoweeksbacki nAucklandPark,whenshebumpedi ntomealmostfal
    li
    ngandIheldher
    handpr
    eventi
    ngthefal
    lfrom happeni
    ng,
    herlushl
    ipswhisperedt
    hewordsor r
    y,accompani
    ed
    byasof
    tlaughbuthereyesonlytookaglimpseofmebar el
    ynoti
    cingmypresence.

    Iwascapt
    ivat
    edasmyey
    esst
    uckonherbeaut
    y,heri
    nnocenceandki
    ndnessi
    l
    lumi
    nat
    ingf
    rom
    thei
    nsi
    de.

    Ihaven’
    tbeenatpeacesince,
    Ihadt
    oknowwhoshewasandt hat
    ’swhenIfoundoutabout
    Mkhize,herpastandt
    helif
    eshehadbeenaccust
    omedt o.Atfi
    rst
    ,itwasaboutsavi
    ngherf
    rom
    thosebastar
    dsbutIhavegrownsel
    fi
    shandneedythatherfr
    eedom hascomel ast
    .

    Nowshewant
    sleav
    emeandt hati
    ssomethi
    ngIcannotal
    l
    ow.Imi
    ghtaswel
    lsur
    rendermy
    sel
    f
    t
    omyenemiesandleti
    tbet
    heendofital
    l
    .

    Me:
    “It
    houghty
    ousai
    dyouwer
    egoi
    ngt
    oputhert
    oor
    der
    .”

    Ir
    emindStyl
    esoft
    hewordshespokelastni
    ght.Helooksli
    keshi
    t,hesay
    shecamet
    othe
    of
    fi
    cearound5am.Hewantedt
    oavoidanotherfi
    ghtwithKhet
    hu.

    I
    ’
    m wat
    chi
    nghi
    m st
    resseat
    ,it
    ’sanor
    m andhehat
    esi
    tbut
    …

    Ther
    e’sli
    ter
    all
    yeveryt
    hingonthi
    st able,f
    rom pi
    zza,donut
    s,burger
    s.You’
    dswearhe’spregnant
    ,
    i
    t’
    sagoodt hinghehasaf astmetabolism orel
    sehe’dbeobese.Peoplei
    nthecafet
    eri
    ahav e
    beenstar
    ingfrom t
    hemomentt hef oodwasbr oughttous.St
    ylesdoesn’
    tcar
    e,he’
    seati
    ngl i
    ke
    i
    t’
    stheendoft heworld.
    St
    yles:
    “Thatwast
    hepl
    anbutwhenIsawherf
    ace,
    Imel
    ted.
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    m buthe’
    snotl
    aughi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Ev
    enaf
    tershebapt
    izedy
    ouwi
    thwat
    er.
    ”

    St
    yles:“
    Worse,youdon’tknowhowmuchittookf
    ormenott
    otakeheri
    nmyar
    msandhav
    eher
    al
    lnight
    .Heraggressi
    venessdoest
    hingst
    omeman.”

    Icackl
    eathi
    sconf
    essi
    on.

    Me: “
    Yousee,Itol
    dyounottogoforaDladl
    a.Theyknowpeople,whoknowpeopl e,
    whoknow
    goodwi t
    chdoctor
    s.Thever
    ybestinAfri
    ca,
    lookatyou.You’
    rel
    ikeawoman, thenextt
    hing
    you’l
    lbewalki
    ngdowntheaisl
    ewhileshewaitsf
    oryouattheal
    tar.Ihavet
    osaythough,the
    thoughtofy
    oui nweddi
    ngdressi
    straumati
    zing,
    nowIhav et
    ounthinkthat
    .”

    Il
    augh.

    St
    yles:
    “Gof
    lyaki
    teRandal
    l
    ,you’
    ret
    alki
    ngr
    ubbi
    sh.I
    t’
    sagoodt
    hingy
    ou’
    regoi
    ngbackt
    oschool
    .”

    Hescof
    fsashet
    akesabi
    gbi
    teofhi
    sbur
    ger
    .

    Nx!

    Me:“Ontherealman,y
    oushouldmarryher
    .Khet
    huhasbeenaroundthr
    oughevery
    thing,
    she
    knowsaboutmostofyourshenani
    gansandshe’
    sst
    il
    lher
    e.I
    fitweresomeoneelsetheywoul
    d
    haverantodaddyandsni
    tched.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whati
    smar
    ri
    ageRandal
    l
    ?”

    Hequest
    ionsmewhi
    l
    esi
    ppi
    nghi
    smi
    l
    kshake.

    I
    fyouwantt
    ogetonhi
    sner
    vesment
    ionmar
    ri
    age.

    Me:“
    Commi t
    ment,gi
    vi
    nghertheri
    ghtt
    oeverypar
    tofy
    ou.I
    t’
    sthewayonesay
    sIneedy
    ouand
    l
    oveyouenought
    ospendforeverwi
    thyou.
    ”

    Di
    dthatj
    ustcomeoutofmymout
    h?Damn…

    Sty
    lesfr
    eezeswi
    ththest
    rawsti
    ll
    inhi
    smout
    h,hi
    sfacehast
    urnedpal
    eli
    kehe’
    sjustseena
    ghost
    .Beli
    eveme,I
    ’
    m shockedaswel
    l.

    Het
    urnsheadsashehowl
    sinl
    aught
    er,
    he’
    sal
    augherbutnev
    ert
    hisl
    oud.

    Isi
    tback,
    sippi
    ngonmycof
    fee,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ogi
    vehi
    mti
    met
    ohi
    msel
    fti
    l
    lhe’
    sdonebei
    ngani
    diot
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Wai
    t,whatdi
    dyoudot
    omyf
    ri
    end?
    ”

    Me:
    “Thatwasn’
    tme,
    thatwasAmar
    a’shear
    tspeaki
    ng.
    ”

    Honest
    ly…

    Hel
    ooksatmescept
    ical
    l
    ybef
    oreanot
    herl
    augher
    upt
    sfr
    om hi
    smout
    h.

    St
    yles:
    “So,
    you’
    ref
    inal
    l
    yadmi
    tt
    ingt
    haty
    oul
    oveher
    ?”
    Me:
    “Whoah,
    hol
    dit
    .Don’
    tlett
    hatmi
    l
    kshakegett
    oyourbr
    ain,
    you’
    respewi
    ngshi
    tnow.
    ”

    Hef
    rowns…

    Lov
    eisast
    rongwor
    d.

    Sty
    les:
    “Howwouldyouknowwhatl
    ovefeelsl
    ikewhenyou’
    venev
    ert
    ast
    edi
    t?AskmeIknow,
    youhaveal
    lthesy
    mptoms.You’
    rel
    ove-
    sickRandal
    lOkol
    ie.
    ”

    Imul
    lov
    erhi
    swor
    ds.Coul
    ditbet
    hatIhav
    ecomet
    olov
    eher
    ?

    Allt
    heseemoti
    onsIf
    eelt
    owar
    dsher
    ,bei
    ngsensi
    ti
    vewi
    thherandcr
    avi
    ngt
    obear
    oundher
    .Ar
    e
    theyreal
    l
    ysi
    gnsofl
    ove?

    Me:
    “Say
    sthemanwhoi
    sst
    resseat
    ingbecauseofadi
    sagr
    eementwi
    thhi
    swoman.
    ”

    Ir
    etor
    t,hechuckl
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Yeahei
    sh.
    ”

    Hecan’
    tst
    opeat
    ing.

    Me:
    “Weneedt
    odeal
    wit
    hMkhi
    zeman,
    webot
    hknowhe’
    snotgoi
    ngt
    otaket
    hisl
    yi
    ngdown.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Andnowt
    hathe’
    swor
    kingwi
    thFr
    anco,
    he’
    smor
    edanger
    oust
    hanbef
    ore.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thatbast
    ard.Iknowhe’
    spl
    anni
    ngsomet
    hing,
    hissi
    l
    encepr
    ovesi
    torel
    sehewoul
    d’v
    e
    r
    oar
    edbynow.”

    St
    yles:
    “Oh,he’
    sroar
    ingal
    ri
    ght
    ,it
    ’sj
    ustamat
    teroft
    imet
    il
    lwehearhi
    m.Ihopeheget
    sahear
    t
    at
    tackwhil
    eatit
    .”

    Woul
    dn’
    tthatmakeourj
    obeasi
    er?

    Styl
    es:“Youknowwheny oucamet omesay i
    ngIshouldlooki nt
    othisgir
    l,It
    houghtokay.But
    ,
    wheny ousaidyouwantedtosaveherfrom Mkhi
    ze,Iknewy ouwer elosi
    ngit.Dude,
    justone
    gli
    mpseofherhady ourunningaroundl
    ikeaheadl
    esschi cken.Andnowl ookatus,fi
    ghti
    nga
    taxibosstokeephersafeandtry
    ingnottogetuski
    lledintheprocess.I’
    m goingonvacati
    on
    onceallofthi
    sisover
    .”

    Hel
    i
    kesexagger
    ati
    ng.

    Me:“Inev
    erwould’
    vefor
    gavemy sel
    fifIsatbackandlethi
    mtakeher
    ,nowIli
    vetoprot
    ecther.
    Ther
    e’snotur
    ningbackSty
    les,
    wet ookast epandyouknowwedon’tl
    ookbackonceit
    ’sdone.
    ”

    Styl
    es:
    “If
    oresawt hi
    sdayyouknow?ThedaywhentheheartofRandall
    UzeOkoli
    ewoul
    dmelt
    andwhoknewsuchani nnocentf
    rai
    lgi
    rlwi
    l
    lbetheonetotakethecredi
    t.Remi
    ndmetothank
    heroneday,okay
    ?

    Heenj
    oysmocki
    ngme,
    I’
    ll
    leti
    tsl
    i
    debecausehe’
    sst
    upi
    dandf
    ragi
    l
    eatt
    hemoment
    .

    KHETHU*
    Iwaveatmyfatherashepul
    l
    soutoft hepar
    kingl
    ot,
    bef
    oreget
    tingi
    ntomycar
    .Hegav
    emehi
    s
    phonetousei
    nt hemeant
    ime,Ideci
    detocal
    lStyl
    esbef
    oredr
    ivi
    ngbackhome.

    Somethi
    ngtel
    l
    smet odri
    veandcal
    lhi
    m whenIgethome,
    Itur
    ntheigni
    ti
    ononandseea
    shadowfr
    om thecor
    nerofmi
    ne.It
    urni
    nst
    antl
    ytoseeamanwat chi
    ngme,he’
    saboutt
    he
    aver
    agehei
    ght.

    Hegest
    uresmet oopent hewindow,i
    tlooksl
    ikehewantstoasksomet
    hing.Ohwel
    l
    ,hedoesn’
    t
    l
    ookhar
    ml ess.So,
    Irol
    lthewindowjustenoughforhi
    m nottogr
    abme.

    Hi
    m:“
    Arey
    oukhet
    hukut
    hul
    aDl
    adl
    a?”

    Heasksi
    nagr
    ati
    ngv
    oice.

    I’
    m shakenbyhisquest
    ion.Howdoesheknowmyname?BecauseI
    ’
    m pr
    ett
    ysur
    eIhav
    enev
    er
    seenhim bef
    ore.

    Me:
    “Who’
    saski
    ng?
    ”

    Bei
    ngadaught
    erofacophast
    aughtmet
    obev
    igi
    l
    antandqui
    ckt
    othi
    nki
    ng,
    Ial
    readysmel
    lar
    at.

    Hi
    m:“
    Ihav
    eamessagef
    ort
    hatcol
    our
    edboy
    fri
    endofy
    our
    s.”

    Heannouncesandnowthathement
    ionedSt
    yles,
    I’
    m mor
    ecur
    ious.Coul
    dhebet
    heboy
    fri
    endof
    t
    hewhorehe’smessingwi
    th?

    Me:
    “St
    yles?Howdoy
    ouknowhi
    m?”

    Thi
    sissonotme,
    Idon’
    tent
    ert
    ainst
    rangemenatamal
    l
    ’spar
    kingl
    ot.

    Hi
    m:“
    Idon’
    t,
    mybossdoes.Tel
    lhi
    m Mkhi
    zesay
    snextt
    imehewon’
    tmi
    ss.
    ”

    Heal r
    eadyhasagunpoint
    edatmeashesay sthi
    sandshootsaft
    erhisannouncement
    .I
    scream,whil
    emybodygoesintoshock,
    stoppi
    ngmefrom ducki
    ng.Thesoundofagunshotand
    glassshat
    ter
    ingpi
    ercemyears.

    Bef
    oreIknowit
    ,mycari
    ssurr
    oundedbypeopl
    efussi
    ngov
    ermeandaskingi
    fI’
    m okay
    .Iunabl
    e
    tor
    espond,I
    ’
    m awhi
    mperingmess.Themanisgone,
    hemusthav
    eran.

    Every
    thinghappenedsofast
    .Mymi ndtel
    lsmethatIshoul
    dbecover
    edi
    nbloodorf
    eel
    i
    ngpai
    n,
    Istar
    tinspect
    ingmysel
    f.I
    ’m okay
    ,shakenbutokay
    .Heaimedfort
    hedashboar
    d.

    “
    Her
    e,dr
    inksomewat
    er.I
    twi
    l
    lhel
    peaset
    heshock.
    ”

    Somer
    andom guysay
    s,of
    fer
    ingmeabot
    tl
    eofwat
    er.Idon’
    twantwat
    er,
    Iwantt
    ogohomebut
    It
    akei
    tei
    therway.

    Hi
    m:“
    Doy
    ouwantmet
    ocal
    lsomeone?Youcan’
    tdr
    ivei
    nthi
    sst
    ate?
    ”

    St
    ylesi
    sthef
    ir
    stper
    sont
    hatcomest
    omi
    nd.

    Ishakemyhead.
    Me:
    “I’
    m okayt
    hanks.
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Arey
    ousur
    e?May
    beIcandr
    ivey
    out
    othehospi
    tal
    .”

    Heper
    sist
    s.

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    ner
    eal
    l
    y.”

    Ismi
    l
    egr
    atef
    ull
    y.

    NOMBULELO*

    Idi
    dn’tknowheartbr
    eakwouldbet hi
    spainf
    ul,
    mychesthurtsanditfeel
    sli
    keIcan’tbreathe.
    Zumahasshownmeadi f
    ferentsi
    det ohi
    m Ididn’
    tknowexi
    sted.I’
    m onl
    y19, howwill
    Iexpl ai
    n
    thi
    stomyf at
    her?Howwill
    Itellhi
    mt hatt
    hefatherofmybabyrefusestoacknowledgeit?

    I’
    vebeenwal
    kingf
    orawhil
    enowandIdon’
    tknowwher
    eI’
    m goi
    ngbutI
    ’
    m goi
    ngsomewher
    efar
    ,
    Iwanttowal
    kofft
    hishear
    tache.

    Acarhurt
    lest
    owardsmecausi
    ngmetofal
    lfl
    atonmybutt
    ,itst
    opsr
    ighti
    nfr
    ontofme.That
    wasaclosecal
    l,
    amanjumpsoutandr
    ushestome,pani
    cki
    ng.

    Hi
    m:“
    Arey
    ouokay
    ?”

    Hehel
    psmeup,
    Isnat
    chmyhandawayaf
    terI
    ’
    m st
    eady
    .

    Inod,
    Iwantt
    ochi
    dehi
    mforhi
    sreckl
    essdr
    ivi
    ngbutI
    ’
    minnomoodt
    otal
    k.

    Hi
    m: “
    Youmustwat chwher
    eyou’
    regoi
    ngsi
    si.I
    fyouhav
    eadeat
    hwi
    sh,
    thenpl
    easel
    eav
    eus
    i
    nnocentpeopl
    eoutofi
    t.
    ”

    Hecr
    acksandcl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue.

    Beingov
    erwhel
    medbyevery
    thi
    ngIbr
    eaki
    ntoal
    oudsob,
    it’
    sthest
    ress,
    thehear
    tbr
    eakandt
    he
    tr
    emorofalmostbei
    nghi
    tbyacar
    .

    Hefrownswhi
    lehi
    shandfl
    i
    estohi
    sbeardandherubsi
    t,suddenl
    ytheconfidencehehadwhen
    shouti
    ngatmehasgonewi
    tht
    hewind.Onl
    ypani
    choldsthelookonhisface.

    Hi
    m:“
    Ohshi
    t,l
    ookI
    ’
    m sor
    ry.Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    oshout
    .Nowst
    opcr
    ying.
    ”

    Idon’
    twantt
    ost
    opcr
    ying.Iwantt
    ocr
    yital
    lout
    ,iteasest
    hepai
    n.

    Ishakemyheadandcont
    inuesobbi
    ng.

    Hi
    m:“
    Hey
    ,Icangi
    vey
    oual
    i
    fti
    fyoul
    i
    ke.Wher
    edoy
    oul
    i
    ve?
    ”

    Nowayam Iget
    ti
    ngi
    nthatcar
    .

    Ishakemyhead.
    “
    Nombul
    elo?Whyar
    eyoucr
    ying?
    ”

    Ir
    aisemyt
    ear
    yey
    est
    omeetTebogo,
    whati
    sshedoi
    ngi
    nthi
    spar
    toft
    own.

    Hi
    m:“
    Ohgr
    eat
    ,youknowher
    ?”

    Hesoundsr
    eli
    eved.

    Tebogo:
    “Whatdi
    dyoudot
    oherwena?I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    ocal
    lthepol
    i
    ce.
    ”

    Shet
    hreat
    ens,
    I’
    m st
    il
    lcr
    yingandIwantt
    ost
    op.

    Whatwi
    l
    lIsayt
    omymot
    herwhenshef
    indsoutIwascr
    yingi
    npubl
    i
    c,i
    nfr
    ontofast
    rangeman?

    Hi
    m:“
    IswearIdi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    shandsi
    ndef
    ence.

    Hi
    m:“
    Shesuddenl
    yjumpedi
    nfr
    ontofmycar
    .”

    Heexpl
    ainshi
    sver
    sion.

    Tebogo:
    “Heee!
    !!Youhi
    therwi
    thacar
    ?”

    Shescr
    eamsandt
    heguyl
    ooksar
    oundl
    i
    kehe’
    saf
    rai
    dsomeonemi
    ghthav
    ehear
    d.

    Hi
    m:“
    No,
    no.She’
    sokay
    ,youcancheckhery
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Ial
    mostfeel
    sorr
    yforhim,y
    ou’
    dthinkhetr
    iedt
    oabductmet hewayTebogoisi
    nter
    rogat
    inghi
    m.
    Thehandonherwaistandt
    hefoottapi
    ngi
    sdrawi
    ngattent
    ion,nott
    omenti
    onherhighpi
    tched
    voi
    ce.

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    nesi
    sTebogo.
    ”

    Iassur
    eher
    ,tr
    yingt
    ost
    opmyt
    ear
    s.

    Hi
    m:“
    See?She’
    sfi
    ne,
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”

    Hetur
    nstoleav
    ebutTebogogr
    abshi
    sshi
    rtpul
    l
    inghi
    mtowar
    dsher
    ,hef
    li
    nches,
    conf
    usi
    on
    f
    il
    li
    nghisf
    ace.

    Hi
    m:“
    Hey
    .”

    Tebogo:
    “You’
    renotgoi
    nganywher
    e.Whodoyouthi
    nkwi
    l
    ldr
    opushomehuh?Thi
    schi
    l
    dis
    tr
    aumati
    zed.Doesshel
    ookli
    keshecanwal
    ktoyou?”

    Hi
    m:“
    Look,
    I’
    minahur
    ry.Icangi
    vey
    out
    axi
    far
    e.”

    Tebogo:
    “No,
    you’
    regoi
    ngt
    otakeushome.ComeLel
    o,t
    hismant
    hinkshecant
    akechances.
    ”

    Shecli
    ckshertonguewhi l
    emakingherwayt ot
    hecar,
    sheopensthepassengerdoorandsi
    ts.
    Herhandsarefoldedacrossherchest,
    Ithi
    nkTebogoj
    ustneededafr
    eeridehome.Shesawa
    chanceandtookit,she’
    sdramati
    clikethat
    .

    Themanl
    ooksbot
    her
    edbuthest
    il
    lst
    ret
    cheshi
    shandout
    ,gest
    uri
    ngmet
    ogeti
    nthecar
    .Ij
    ump
    att
    hebackandsl
    i
    pint
    orawsi
    l
    ence,
    mymi
    ndf
    lashesbackt
    oZuma.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    14*

    KHETHU*

    “
    Baby
    .”

    Hecomesr ushingt omeal mostbumpingi


    ntoanur se,hedoesn’tst
    opt oapol
    ogize.Hiseyes
    areonmeandhe’ spanickyandangry,het
    akesmei nhi sar
    mst i
    ght
    lyholdi
    ngme.I ’
    m guessi
    ng
    hedoesn’tseethi
    st al
    ldispl
    easedmani nasuitst
    andingbyt hebed,Iholdhi
    m backbutwi t
    h
    onlyonehand.Ithinkmyf atheri
    sal
    readyfeel
    i
    nguncomf or
    table.

    Me:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    It
    ryt
    owar
    nhi
    m buthe’
    snotl
    ett
    inggo,
    hisbodycl
    enchesandIcanf
    eel
    itt
    rembl
    i
    ng.

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Hei nspectsme, hishandscuppingmycheeks.Inodt r


    yingtopushbackmyemot i
    ons.My
    fatherclearshist hroat,
    that
    ’swhenSt y
    lesl
    ooksupanddr awsback.Hesuddenlylooks
    uncomf ortable,thest or
    ywiththem ist
    hattheydon’
    tgetalongwel
    l.Putt
    ingthem i
    nar oom
    togetherislikest ar
    tingafir
    e.Iwatchthem astheygl
    areateachother,
    waiti
    ngforoneofthem
    tosaysomet hi
    ng.Itseemsl i
    keI’m goi
    ngtowaitmywhol eli
    feher
    e,InudgeStyl
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Mr
    .Dl
    adl
    a.”

    He’sgreeti
    nghim bytheway ,
    myfatherscowls.He’
    sangry
    ,hegavemeal ongspeechwhenhe
    gothere.Ihaddecidedtodri
    vetothehospit
    aljusti
    ncaseIneededtreat
    mentandhewast he
    fi
    rstpersonIcal
    led.Accor
    dingtohim,Sty
    leswassupposedtobet heret
    opr ot
    ectme.

    Me:
    “Dad.
    ”

    Iwhi
    neasIsi
    tupont
    hebed.

    Thi
    sisnot
    imet
    obei
    mpol
    i
    te,
    what
    ’swr
    ongwi
    tht
    hisol
    dman?

    Dad:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    osayt
    hisst
    rai
    ghtSi
    shi
    ,mydaught
    eri
    scomi
    nghomewi
    thme.
    ”

    He’
    snotaski
    ng.

    Doeshet
    hinkt
    hisi
    sthepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    onwher
    ehedemandsandt
    hingshappen?

    Il
    ookatSty
    leswho’sfrowningnow,
    andtheworstpar
    taboutthi
    sist
    hat,
    hehasr
    ammedhi
    s
    handsi
    ntohispocket
    s,looki
    ngatmyfat
    herl
    ikehewantstotakeawayhi
    sfav
    our
    it
    etoy
    .

    I
    t’
    ssodi
    srespect
    ful
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Khet
    hui
    scomi
    nghomewi
    thmesi
    r.
    ”

    He’
    sal
    sonotaski
    ng.
    Dad:
    “Don’
    tmesswi
    thmeboy
    ,Iwi
    l
    lputy
    oubehi
    ndbar
    ssof
    asty
    ourheadwi
    l
    lspi
    n.”

    St
    yles:
    “MrDladl
    a,t
    hisol
    dtri
    ckdoesnotfazeme.I
    ’m notachi
    l
    dtobet
    hreat
    enedbyt
    imeout
    ,
    I
    ’m agrownmanwho’sful
    lycapabl
    eoftaki
    ngcar
    eofhi swoman.
    ”

    Thatt
    imehel
    efthi
    swomanal
    oneathomel
    astni
    ght
    .

    I
    ’m confused,noneofmyexeshav eneverstoodupt omyf at
    herli
    ket hi
    s.Bl
    ackmendon’ tdo
    thatri
    ght?Theyknowt heimport
    anceofrespectingyourpart
    ner’
    sfatherbecauseli
    keitornot,
    myf at
    herhast hef i
    nalsayastowhetherIwillspendmyl i
    fewit
    hthismanornot .Isitbecause
    he’snotplanningonmar ryi
    ngme?Heknowst her ei
    snochanceofl obolanegoti
    ati
    ons,that’
    s
    whyhe’sbei nginsolentt
    owardsmyf at
    her.

    Dad:
    “Yourwoman?
    ”

    Hehuf
    fs.

    Dad:“
    Whathavey oudonetomakehery ourwomanSi shi
    ?Shar
    ingsheet
    swithmydaughter
    doesnotgi
    veyout her
    ightt
    ocl
    aim herasy ourown.Icanendt
    hisl
    it
    tl
    efair
    ytal
    eofyour
    switha
    snapofafi
    nger.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wi
    thal
    lduer
    espectsi
    r.
    ”

    Okay
    ,he’
    sdef
    ini
    tel
    yaboutt
    osaysomet
    hingdi
    srespect
    ful
    .

    Styl
    es: “
    Idon’ttakeki
    ndlyt
    ot hreat
    s,soIwoul
    dappr
    eciat
    eiti
    fyouwoul
    dwithdr
    awfr
    om t
    hat
    andlikeIsaid,Ihavebeentakingcareoft
    hiswomanfortwoyear
    snow.Fr
    om wher
    eI’
    m
    standing,I
    ’
    m doi nghel
    lofagoodj ob.”

    May
    beIshoul
    dgobackt
    odat
    ingbl
    ackmen,
    myf
    atherdoesn’
    ttakeki
    ndl
    ytot
    hreat
    saswel
    l
    .

    “
    Ist
    hiswhaty
    ouhav
    echosenf
    ory
    our
    sel
    fBr
    idget
    te?
    ”

    Weal l
    turnt
    ot hesoundoft heangryvoi
    ce,it
    ’sNobayeni.She’
    sstandi
    ngbyt hecurt
    ain,
    looki
    ng
    poshasusual.Thisisthethingwit
    hNobay eniDl
    adla,
    she’snotthejeans,sweatpantst
    ype.
    Evenathome, Idoubtshe’severcomfort
    ableint
    hosef ormalcl
    othesbutwithherit
    ’sal
    labout
    l
    ookingthepart.Whateverthati
    s.Bri
    dgett
    eismysecondname, sheprefersitov
    erKhethu.

    Iwasnamedaf t
    ermygr andmotherwhopassedawaythedaybef or
    eIwasbor
    n.Mymot her
    l
    ovedherdear
    ly,sherai
    sedherandhersibl
    i
    ngswhi l
    ethei
    rparentswer
    ebusyfi
    l
    li
    ngthei
    rbank
    account
    sandshower edthem wi
    thmoneyandgiftstocompensate.Pr
    ett
    ymuchwhatshe’s
    donewithme,onlyInevergotgi
    ft
    stomakeupf orherabsenceinmyli
    fe.

    Nobayeniamblesinther
    oom andst
    andsnexttomyfat
    her
    ,don’
    texpectakissorhug.Thi
    s
    rel
    ati
    onshipisasdryasl
    eav
    esinwinter
    ,shel
    ooksdi
    sgust
    edbythesightofSty
    leswho’snotat
    all
    int
    imidatedbyher.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“I
    sthi
    sthet
    ypeofmeny
    ouat
    tract
    ?Whodi
    srespecty
    ourf
    ather
    ?”

    She’
    sonet
    otal
    k.

    Me:
    “Iam mymot
    her
    ’sdaught
    eraf
    teral
    l
    .”
    Mycomebackwi l
    lgetmeintroubl
    e,sherai
    sesherhandtosl
    apmebutStyl
    esshiel
    dsme
    standi
    nginfrontofme,Icanonlyseehisback.Ther
    iseandf
    all
    ofhi
    sshoulder
    sdemonst
    rat
    ing
    theextentofhi
    sanger.

    AMARA*

    Ther
    e’saknockont hedoor,Isi
    tupont hebedasIseeChiomaemer gefr
    om behi
    ndthedoor
    .
    Sofaronlytwopeopleentert
    hisroom, Chi
    omaandRandall
    .Ialwaysknowwho’saboutt
    oenter
    whentheycome, Randal
    ldoesn’tknock.Hebudgesi
    nasifI’
    m hiswif
    ewhileChi
    omaknocks
    ever
    ysingleti
    me.

    Shehasbr
    oughtfood,
    itsmell
    ssoni
    ce.Myst
    omachgr
    owl
    satthemout
    h-wat
    eri
    ngsmel
    lofi
    t.
    Shepl
    acesthet
    rayonthetabl
    eandl
    ooksatmewit
    hasmi
    le.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Imadesupperear
    lyt
    odayseei
    ngt
    haty
    oudi
    dn’
    thav
    ebr
    eakf
    astandl
    unch.Comeeat
    .”

    Shepointsatt
    het abl
    e,I’
    mt empted.Maybeit’
    stimeIabortmission,star
    vingmysel
    fisnot
    worki
    ngi nmyfavour.Randall
    ’
    swar ni
    ngthismor ni
    ngfri
    ght
    enedme, Iknowhewi l
    ldo
    somethingbadifIconti
    nuewi t
    hthishungerstr
    ike.Ial
    soknowt hathe’scapabl
    eofanythi
    ng,
    I
    meanlookwher eIam.

    Slowl
    y,Icl
    imboutofbed.Themomentmyf eett
    oucht
    hefl
    oor,If
    eel
    li
    ght
    -headed.Ist
    agger
    backabitandf
    allonthebed.Chi
    omarushestohel
    pbutIr
    aisemyhandstoppi
    ngher.

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    ne.
    ”

    Shest
    epsback.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Si
    t,I
    ’
    llbr
    ingt
    hef
    oodt
    oyou.
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    I’
    vebeenl
    yi
    ngont
    hisbedf
    ort
    ool
    ong.Mybodyi
    snumb,
    Ineedt
    ost
    ret
    ch.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Letmewal
    kyout
    her
    ethen.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lmanaget
    hanky
    ou.
    ”

    Shesi
    ghs,i
    fshewantstohel
    pt hensheshoul
    dgetmeoutofher
    e.Ibracemysel
    fasIpul
    lmy
    bodyupandtoi
    ltowar
    dsthetable.She’
    ssl
    owlywal
    ki
    ngbehi
    ndme, shethi
    nksI
    ’l
    lfal
    l
    .

    Thatwasn’
    tsobad…Ithi
    nkt
    omyselfasIsi
    tdownont hechair
    .Ican’
    thi
    det
    heconf
    usi
    ononmy
    faceasIl
    ookatthef
    oodbef
    oreme.Whatexact
    lyam Ilooki
    ngat?

    Chi
    oma:
    “Thi
    sischi
    ckennoodl
    esoup,
    youneedt
    oeatt
    hatf
    ir
    stsoy
    oudon’
    tgetst
    omach
    cr
    ampsfr
    om t
    heheavymeal.
    ”

    Ther
    e’smor
    ecar
    rot
    sthanchi
    ckeni
    nthi
    sthi
    ng.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Andt
    hisi
    sJol
    l
    ofr
    ice,
    it’
    saNi
    ger
    iandi
    sh.You’
    l
    llov
    eit
    .”
    Sheshoot
    smeawarm smil
    e,i
    tremindsmeofmymother
    .Hermemor
    yisst
    il
    lfr
    eshi
    nmymi
    nd,
    Iwi
    shshewasst
    il
    lher
    e,Iwoul
    dn’tbeint
    hispl
    ace.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Eaty
    oursoupbef
    orei
    tget
    scol
    d.”

    Igr
    abaspoonandt
    akeascoop,
    it’
    snotbadbutI
    ’
    m notf
    ini
    shi
    ngi
    t.

    Me:
    “Si
    twi
    thme.
    ”

    Iof
    ferbut
    ,sheshakesherhead.

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    m notal
    l
    owed.
    ”

    Sher
    eveal
    s.

    Me:
    “Bywho?I
    sitt
    hatman?
    ”

    Ican’
    tbr
    ingmy
    sel
    ftol
    ethi
    snamer
    oll
    outofmyt
    ongue.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Myj
    obi
    stomakesur
    eyou’
    reokayandwel
    lfed.
    ”

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmeabouthi
    m.Whatki
    ndofaper
    soni
    she?
    ”

    IknowwhatI
    ’
    m doi
    ng?

    Sheseemsshockedt
    hatI
    ’
    mint
    erest
    edi
    nknowi
    ngaboutRandal
    l
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Randal
    li
    sagoodman,
    hecar
    esabouty
    ou.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    taskt
    hat
    .

    Il
    eavet
    hesouphal
    feat
    enandst
    artdi
    ggi
    ngi
    nont
    her
    ice,
    it’
    sedi
    bleal
    thoughI
    ’
    m notar
    ice
    per
    son.

    Me:
    “Ineedsomeai
    r.
    ”

    Ipr
    ocl
    aim bet
    weenscoopsofr
    ice.

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    l
    lopent
    hesl
    i
    dingdoorbutIwi
    l
    lhav
    etocl
    osei
    tbef
    oreIl
    eav
    e.”

    Me:
    “Thatwon’
    tmakeadi
    ff
    erence,
    I’
    m suf
    focat
    ingi
    nthi
    sroom.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Youcanst
    andont
    hebal
    cony
    .”

    Thi
    swomani
    snothear
    ingme.

    Me:“Iwasthi
    nki
    ngmaybeIcantakeawal
    koutsidei
    nthegarden,
    it’
    sbeaut
    if
    ulandIwantt
    o
    expl
    orei
    t.I
    twouldbeni
    cei
    fIcouldsmel
    lthet
    reesandthefl
    owers.”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ican’
    tlety
    ououtmygi
    rl
    .”

    Me: “Pl
    ease,If
    eell
    i
    keapr i
    sonerinhere.I
    ’l
    lgocrazyifIdon’
    tletmyfeettastethegrass,
    prett
    y
    pleaseChioma.Youhavenoideahowi tfeelst
    obel ockedupinhere,notknowingwhatwi l
    l
    happent oyounext
    .Wakingupint hemorningthi
    nkingtodayi
    sy ourl
    ast,Ionlyhav
    emyscar y
    thoughtstokeepmecompany .”
    Idi
    dn’
    tpr
    epar
    ethi
    sspeechbuti
    tseemst
    obegoi
    ngwel
    l
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Randal
    lwi
    l
    lnev
    erhur
    tyou.
    ”

    Notconv
    inced.

    Me:“That’
    swhaty
    ousaybut
    ,ist
    hisnothurt
    ingme?He’
    salr
    eadykeptmefr
    om civi
    l
    izati
    on,at
    l
    eastletmemingl
    ewi
    ththebi
    rdsoutsi
    de.You’
    ll
    comewit
    hme, Iwon’
    ttr
    yanyt
    hingIpromise.
    ”

    Shepondersuponit,
    Ithi
    nkmypowert
    oper
    suadepeopl
    ehascomeoutt
    opl
    ay.Shepr
    essesher
    l
    ipst
    ogetherbefor
    enodding.

    Chi
    oma:“Okaybut
    ,heshoul
    dn’
    tfi
    ndoutaboutt
    hisorhe’
    ll
    kil
    lme.He’
    l
    lbehomei
    ntwohour
    sso
    weshoul
    dbequick,we’
    l
    lwalkar
    oundthencomeback.”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Ismi
    l
    eatherandsher
    etur
    nsi
    twhi
    l
    eshaki
    ngherheadner
    vousl
    y.

    NKOMO*

    Me:
    “Whenam Iget
    ti
    ngoutofher
    e?”

    Iquest
    iont
    henur
    sewhoi
    sbusydoi
    ngherr
    ounds.

    Her
    :“Wehav
    etowai
    tfort
    hedoct
    orsi
    r.
    ”

    Sher
    espondswi
    thoutl
    ooki
    ngatme.

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    ogohome,
    cal
    lwhoev
    ert
    hatdoct
    ori
    s.”

    Shet
    urnst
    olookatmet
    henr
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Her
    :“We’
    reher
    etowor
    kbhut
    i,nott
    akeor
    der
    sfr
    om pat
    ient
    s.”

    Me:“Hey
    ,don’
    tfucki
    nggi
    vemeanat
    ti
    tude.I
    ’
    llmessupt
    hatugl
    yhai
    rst
    yle,
    nowgocal
    lthe
    bl
    oodydoct
    or.
    ”

    She’
    ster
    ri
    fi
    edbymysuddenbur
    stofanger
    ,wi
    thf
    eari
    nherey
    esshedar
    tsoutoft
    her
    oom.

    I
    ’
    mlef
    ttoponderuponmyst
    upi
    dit
    y.

    It
    ’snotl
    ikemetobesocareless,
    Iletmylustgett
    hebestofme.I’
    vebeenfeeli
    nglikeshitsi
    nce
    Iwokeup, I
    ’
    m notev
    enangrythathebeatmeup.I ’
    m most
    lyangr
    yatmy sel
    f,Randallhasdone
    somuchf orme.Heonceri
    skedhislif
    eformine,wehadbecomebrothersandIbetrayedhim
    l
    ikethat
    .Iknewbett
    ert
    hantomesswi t
    hScar.

    Iknowwhathe’scapabl
    eof,
    it’
    sami raclethatI
    ’
    m sti
    llal
    i
    ve,t
    hankstoStyl
    es.Hecamet osee
    mey est
    erday
    ,sai
    dIshouldl
    aylowf orawhi l
    ebecauseScari
    sbayingformyblood.Knowing
    him,he’
    shadmyobi t
    uar
    ypri
    nted.Ican’truntomyfatheraswearenotongoodt er
    ms.
    Theysaywheny
    ouspeakoft
    hedev
    ilheappear
    s.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Hehuff
    sashewal kstowar
    dsme, usi
    ngthewalkingcaneashisthi
    rdleg.Tal
    kaboutdr
    ama,the
    manisperf
    ect
    lyhealt
    hybuthasbeenusi
    ngt hatcaneforaslongasI’
    veknownhim.Heonce
    sai
    ditmakeshi
    mf eelpowerf
    ulanditwi
    l
    l makepeoplerespecthi
    m,het hi
    nksthi
    sisamovi
    e.

    Thi
    siswhathappenswhenmoneyget
    sint
    oyourhead.

    Hi
    m:“Lookatyou,
    cowardlyl
    yi
    ngt
    her
    e.Don’
    ttel
    lmet
    hatboymessedy
    ouupl
    i
    ket
    his.Iknew
    t
    hisf
    ri
    endshi
    pwast oxi
    c.”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lcondescendi
    ngasal
    way
    s.

    Me:
    “Getout
    .”

    Ishout
    ,thesi
    ghtofhi
    m makesmegag.

    Hi
    m:“Cal
    m downson,Icamet
    oseehowbadi
    tis.Youshoul
    dn’
    tlett
    hati
    diotbossy
    ouar
    ound,
    st
    opbei
    ngweakson.”

    That’
    sthet hingwithScar,he’salway sbeentheleaderofthecrew.Hi sslynessand
    possessivenessgav ehimt hatrole.He’smoreli
    keanAl phamal e,he’sbold,aggr
    essiv
    eand
    unshri
    nking.Not hi
    ngmov est hatman, hecankil
    l youri
    ghtaft
    erl aughingwithyouandgoon
    abouthisbusi nessli
    kenothinghappened.Hehasdonet hi
    ngsthatl ef
    tStylesandIquesti
    oni
    ng
    oursanit
    y .Randallwil
    ll
    it
    erallydinewi t
    hthedevi
    l andacceptani nvi
    tet ot
    ourhellaf
    ter.

    Event
    hisol
    dmanhasunder est
    imat
    edhi
    m,moneycanbuyy
    ouev
    ery
    thi
    ngbuti
    tcan’
    tbuyt
    he
    ki
    ndofspir
    itRandal
    lhas.

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ngaboutmeandy
    ouhav
    enor
    ightt
    obeher
    e.”

    Hi
    m: “
    You’resti
    l
    ldi
    srespect
    ful
    Isee,It
    houghtti
    meawayf
    rom y
    ourf
    ami
    l
    ywi
    l
    lteachy
    ou
    manners.Yourmot
    hermustbet ur
    ninginhergr
    ave.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thev
    erysamegr
    avey
    ouputheri
    n.”

    Hescowl
    satmyaccusat
    ion.

    Hi
    m:“
    Youwi
    l
    lnotspeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hatboy
    ,I’
    myourf
    ather
    .”

    Her
    oar
    s.

    Me:
    “Yousei
    zedt
    obemyf
    athert
    hedayy
    oupl
    ott
    edt
    oki
    l
    lmymot
    her
    .”

    Ishootback.

    Hi
    m:“You’
    remot
    herwasaslutwhosl
    eptwi
    thev
    erymant
    hatwav
    edather
    ,I’
    m sur
    pri
    sedshe
    di
    dn’
    tmakeamoveonhersons.”

    Sonofabi
    tch.

    Ij
    umpathi
    m buthepi
    nsmebackdownwi
    thonehand.
    Hi
    m:“
    Iwi
    l
    lfi
    nishwhatt
    hatboyst
    art
    ed,
    don’
    tdar
    emeson.
    ”

    Myangerhasmegaspi
    ngf
    orai
    r.Howdar
    ehei
    nsul
    tmymot
    her
    ’smemor
    y?

    Me:
    “Ihat
    eyou.
    ”

    Ihi
    ss,
    heseestheful
    lext
    entofmyhat
    redrefl
    ecti
    nginmyey
    es.ForasecondIseeat
    wit
    chof
    hur
    tbuthequi
    ckl
    ybrushesi
    taway,
    heart
    lessbastar
    d.

    Hi
    m:“
    Okay…Nowsl eepmfanawam’,Iwi
    l
    lcomeseey
    ouagai
    n.Ubabauy
    akut
    handay
    ezwa?
    ”
    (
    Myboy)(
    Yourf
    atherlov
    esyou,okay
    )

    Hemocksmeashesmi rkswhi
    l
    epatt
    ingmyhead,
    thi
    smani
    sconf
    identt
    othepoi
    ntof
    i
    mpudenceandIam di
    sgust
    edbyi
    t.

    Me:
    “Hambauy
    ofa.
    ”(Goanddi
    e)

    Her
    eleasesascor
    nful
    laughandwal
    ksoutwi
    thi
    t.

    Ishoul
    dhav
    egr
    abbedt
    hatbl
    oodywal
    ki
    ngst
    ickandst
    abbedhi
    m wi
    thi
    t.Ihat
    ehi
    m.

    OnlyScarcanhel
    pmebr
    inghi
    m downbutchancesoft
    hathappeni
    ngar
    esl
    i
    m,af
    terwhatIhav
    e
    done.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    15*

    KHETHU*

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hui
    sthi
    sthewayt
    ospeakt
    oyourmot
    her
    ?”

    Helect
    uresme,
    Itr
    ytopushSt y
    lest
    othesi
    deashe’
    sblocki
    ngmyv i
    ewbuthedoesn’tmove.
    HowdoIspeaktomyparentsnowandthi
    smanofmi necanbest
    ubbor
    nasamul l,
    itcomes
    nat
    uralal
    ongwi
    thhi
    srudeness.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Whati
    sthi
    sthugdoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Ihearmymot
    her
    ’sdi
    sembodi
    edv
    oice,
    herr
    udenessmakesy
    ouwantt
    osmackheracr
    ossher
    face.

    Styl
    es:
    “Youcani
    nsul
    tmeal
    lyouwant
    ,ifi
    tmakesy
    ouf
    eel
    bet
    terabouty
    our
    sel
    fbut
    ,nev
    erl
    aya
    handonthi
    swoman.”

    Hedecl
    aresst
    ernl
    y.

    Nobay
    eni:“
    Real
    l
    y?Hewantstohitmenow.YouseeBri
    dgett
    e?Youseet
    heshamey
    ouhav
    e
    br
    oughtus?Doyout
    hinkt
    hisl
    it
    tl
    efli
    ngyout
    wohav ewi
    lll
    ast?”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    baby
    ,pl
    easemov
    e.”

    It
    ryt
    opushhi
    m asi
    debuti
    t’
    sli
    keI
    ’
    m st
    ruggl
    i
    ngwi
    that
    ree.

    Si
    gh!
    !!

    St
    yles:
    “Sheshoul
    dst
    epbackf
    ir
    st.
    ”

    Hest
    ates,
    Icant
    ell
    he’
    sgl
    ari
    ngatmymot
    her
    .

    Ittakesheral
    mostawhil
    etomov
    eback,
    Sty
    lescanbev
    eryi
    nti
    midat
    ing.Ev
    enmyf
    atherdoesn’
    t
    standachanceagai
    nsthi
    m.

    Nobayenil
    ooksli
    keshe’
    sabouttoexpl
    ode,
    hereyel
    asheshaven’
    tstoppedfl
    appi
    ng.Shedoes
    thatwhenshe’
    sextr
    emelyangr
    y.Ionl
    yhopeshedoesn’
    ttakei
    toutonmyf at
    her,
    it’
    sahabitof
    hers.

    Me:
    “Mom-
    ”

    It
    ryt
    ospeakbutshecut
    smeof
    f.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Neo,
    arr
    estt
    hisboy
    .”

    Me:
    “Forwhat
    ?”

    Ishout
    ,Iexpect
    edt
    hisf
    rom her
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Het
    hreat
    enedme,
    youal
    lhear
    dthat
    .”
    Me:
    “Nohedi
    dn’
    t.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m shout
    ing,
    Idon’
    tknowwhybutI
    ’
    m shout
    ing.

    Il
    ookatStyl
    esandhe’snotdistur
    bedbyallofthi
    s,he’
    sbacktosti
    cki
    nghishandsinhis
    pocket
    s.Ther
    e’saknotonhisforeheadandI’
    mf ai
    li
    ngtograspthel
    ookonhisface,Iwi
    shI
    knewwhathe’sthi
    nki
    ng.Thi
    sf amil
    ydramawi l
    lcostmetheloveofmyli
    fe.

    Whatnor
    mal
    per
    soncanendur
    esucht
    aunt
    sandi
    nsul
    ts?

    Dad:
    “Don’
    tbeabsur
    dNobay
    eni
    ,Ishoul
    dar
    resthi
    m onwhatgr
    ounds?
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Thr
    eat
    eni
    ngadef
    encel
    esswoman.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Real
    l
    ymom?It
    houghty
    ouwer
    ethesmar
    tonei
    nthef
    ami
    l
    y.”

    Ir
    ipost
    e,St
    ylessi
    deey
    esme.

    Hedoesn’
    tli
    kewhatIsai
    dandIdon’
    tcar
    e,Iwi
    l
    lnotl
    etmymot
    hert
    hinkshecancont
    rol
    our
    l
    iv
    es.

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hukut
    hul
    a?Wat
    chhowy
    ouspeakt
    omywi
    fe.
    ”

    Thi
    smant
    hough.

    Nobay
    eni:“
    Youknowwhat?Letusendt
    hisnow.Br
    idget
    te,
    it’
    sei
    thery
    ou’
    recomi
    nghomewi
    th
    usort
    hisboygoest
    ojai
    l
    .”

    St
    yles:“
    Ithi
    nkI
    ’vehadenoughofyoucal
    l
    ingmeboy.Mrs.Dladl
    aIr
    especty
    ouasKhet
    hu’
    s
    motherbutIwi
    l
    lnotwagmyt ai
    lli
    keadog,aty
    ourbehest
    .”

    Nobay
    eni
    :"Youcal
    lthi
    srespect
    ?”

    Shegi
    veshi
    m adi
    rt
    ylook.

    I
    ’
    m done.

    Nobayeni:“
    Idon’
    texpectmuchf
    rom y
    ouany
    way
    ,you’
    reanor
    phan.Ther
    ewasnoonet
    oteach
    yourespectandmanners.
    ”

    It
    hinkNobay
    eni
    justpr
    essedt
    her
    edbut
    ton.Shet
    ouchedont
    hewr
    ongt
    opi
    c.

    St
    yles:
    “Baby
    ,gety
    ourbag.We’
    rel
    eav
    ing.
    ”

    Heinst
    ruct
    s.Idon’
    tknowwhattodonow,mydadisl
    ooki
    ngatmewi t
    hpaininhisey
    es.He
    wantst
    osaysomet hi
    ngbutNobayeni
    wear
    sthepant
    sint
    hathousehol
    d,Iguesshe’
    swait
    ing
    f
    orhercommand.

    IwanttogowithSt
    yles,
    Ibel
    ongwi
    thhi
    m butIdon’
    twantt
    oleav
    emyf
    atherl
    i
    ket
    his.Asf
    or
    Nobayeni
    ,shecangojump.

    St
    yles:
    “Whyar
    eyoust
    il
    lsi
    tt
    ing?Isai
    dlet
    ’sgo.
    ”

    He’
    ssocal
    m butIknowhi
    sragehasbeenawakenedandt
    hesoonerwegetoutofher
    e,t
    he
    bet
    ter
    .Orel
    se,
    Sty
    leswil
    ldefi
    nit
    elyatt
    ackadefencel
    esswoman.Ican’
    thav
    ehim spendt
    he
    ni
    ghti
    njai
    l,
    Iwon’
    tbeabl
    et otakeit
    .Thethoughtofhi
    m behi
    ndbarsi
    sunbear
    abl
    e.

    Igr
    abmybagashet
    akesmyhandi
    ntohi
    sandbegi
    nsl
    eadi
    ngmeout
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Br
    idget
    te,
    ify
    ouf
    oll
    owt
    hatboyIwi
    l
    ldi
    sowny
    ouandt
    hist
    imei
    twi
    l
    lbef
    orgood.
    ”

    Thi
    sisal
    lsheknows,
    thr
    eat
    s.

    Istopatmytracks,
    lett
    inggoofSt
    yles’
    hand.Hegl
    ancesatmeashef
    rowns,
    heseesmy
    discomposur
    eandf ear
    s.

    Iwanttocrynow,Ican’
    tli
    vewithoutSt
    ylesandIcan’tl
    ivewi
    thoutmyfatherei
    ther
    .Hesighs,
    l
    ooksatmyf ather
    .Ithi
    nkthey’
    recommuni cat
    ingbecausedadgiveshi
    m anassuri
    nglook,he’
    s
    backtoluggi
    ngmet owardsthedoor.

    NOMBULELO*

    Me:
    “Baba?
    ”

    Heslowlytur
    nshisheadt
    olookatme,
    he’
    sly
    ingont
    hecouch.Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkhewasgoi
    ngt
    obe
    di
    schargedtoday
    .

    Ir
    usht
    ohi
    m whi
    l
    ehesi
    tsupandhughi
    m,I
    ’
    mint
    ear
    sasal
    lmyemot
    ionsengul
    fme.

    Moses:
    “I’
    m okaymychi
    l
    d,y
    oudon’
    thav
    etocr
    y.”

    I
    ’m notcr
    yingbecauseoft
    hatbutbecauseI
    ’
    minpai
    nandbeinginmyfat
    her’
    sarmsmakesme
    moreemot i
    onal
    ,Iwanthimtoprot
    ectmeandassur
    emethatevery
    thi
    ngwil
    lbeokay
    .

    Me:
    “DadImessedup,
    myl
    i
    fei
    sov
    er.
    ”

    Iadmi
    tsheepi
    shl
    y.

    Moses:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongLel
    o?Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m pr
    egnant
    .”

    Idi
    dn’tmeantosaythat,
    Iwast hi
    nki
    ngittheni
    tcameout.Mymi ndandmout hconspi
    red
    againstme,hesl
    owlyunwrapshisarmsfrom mebutIdon’
    tletgo.Idon’
    tknowwhathe’l
    ldo
    nextandIfeart
    helookofdisappoi
    ntmentinhi
    sface.

    Moses:
    “Lel
    o?”

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    odad.I
    tjusthappened…”

    I
    ’
    m st
    il
    lhol
    dingont
    ohi
    m andIcanf
    eel
    hischestbr
    iskl
    ymov
    ingupanddown.

    Moses:
    “LetgoNombul
    elo.
    ”

    Hecommands,
    Icant
    ell
    byt
    hesoundofhi
    svoi
    cet
    hathe’
    sangr
    y.
    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    rydaddy
    ,I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Icr
    ylouder
    .Hest
    andsupwi
    thmyar
    msar
    oundhi
    spl
    umpwai
    st.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    !!
    !Nt
    ombi
    !!
    !”

    Heshoutsf
    ormymot
    her
    .NowI
    ’
    m mor
    ethant
    err
    if
    ied,
    I’
    m dement
    edandbawl
    i
    ngl
    oudert
    han
    bef
    ore.

    Thi
    sol
    dmani
    sgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme.

    Mymot
    hercomesr
    unni
    ngf
    rom t
    heki
    tchen.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Yi
    niMo-
    ”

    Shest
    opsassheseesmewai
    l
    ingi
    nmyf
    ather
    ’sar
    ms.

    Moses:
    “Gety
    ourdaught
    erof
    fofmenow.
    ”

    Heor
    der
    s,angerv
    isi
    blei
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“What
    ’sgoi
    ngonNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Ther
    e’sf
    eari
    nherv
    oice,
    itmustbebecauseoft
    hest
    ateIam i
    n.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    rydad,
    pleaseunder
    stand.
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :"Lel
    oletgoofy
    ourf
    ather
    .”

    Sheshout
    s.

    Me:
    “No,
    he’
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohi
    tme.
    ”

    Ipr
    otest
    .

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Whywoul
    dhehi
    tyou?Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    ”

    She’
    sst
    andi
    ngbehi
    ndmenow,
    Idon’
    tanswer
    .Myt
    ear
    shav
    etakenov
    er.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Nombul
    elost
    opt
    hiscr
    azi
    nessandl
    etgoofy
    ourf
    ather
    .”

    Mymot hershout
    swhi
    legrabbingmywaistandstar
    tspul
    l
    ingmeback,
    Ifinal
    l
    yletgo.If
    eelahot
    sensat
    iononmycheekresult
    inginmeseeingst
    arsandI’
    m ont
    hefl
    oorinaspli
    tsecond,my
    cheeki
    sonf ir
    e.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Moses,
    whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Sheshout
    sathi
    m.

    Moses:
    “Thul
    awena.
    ”(Shutup)

    Her
    oar
    s.

    Il
    ookupatmyfat
    herwho’sonhi
    sfeetnow,
    Ihav
    enev
    erseent
    hatl
    ookbef
    ore.Ir
    eal
    l
    ymessed
    upandhewi
    ll
    neverfor
    giv
    eme.
    AMARA*

    I
    tfeel
    ssogoodtobeout side,thesunisalmostsett
    ingandI’
    vebeent r
    ail
    i
    ngitasi
    tfeel
    sgood
    onmyskin.Thegardenismor ebeauti
    fulfr
    om thi
    sviewbutthisisnotwhyI’
    m her
    e.Ihave
    i
    nspect
    edmysur r
    oundings,therearenoguardsonthissideofthehouse.We’v
    ebeenstrol
    li
    ng
    forawhi
    lenowandChi omal ooksanxious.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Weshoul
    dgobacknow,
    it’
    sget
    ti
    ngl
    ate.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Idon’
    twanthert
    osuspectany
    thi
    ng.

    Ismashherheadwit
    har ockIpi
    ckedupawhileago,shefal
    l
    sandpassesout .Ican’
    tescape
    thi
    sfeel
    i
    ngofguil
    tythat
    ’ssti
    ngi
    ngme, I
    ’
    m comfort
    edbythefactt
    hatIdidn’
    tbashherheadhard.
    Sheshouldbeawakewithi
    nthenext10minut
    es,Iwil
    lbegonebythen.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryChi
    oma.
    ”

    Iwhi
    spert
    oherasshel
    i
    esunconsci
    ousont
    hegr
    ound.

    Thi
    sismychance,
    justaf
    ewmor
    est
    epsandI
    ’
    m outofher
    e.

    If
    inal
    l
    ymakei
    toutt
    hegat
    ewi
    thoutany
    oneseei
    ngme,
    butwher
    edoIgo?

    Ican’tseethemainroadfr
    om here,
    it’
    sli
    teral
    l
    yaf orest.Themainroadi
    sprobablyontheother
    si
    deoft hehouseandIcan’tgother
    e.Iwill
    beseen, allofthi
    swil
    lbeinvai
    n.Icanprobabl
    ywalk
    aroundthisfor
    est
    ,Idoubtther
    e’swi
    ldanimals,consideri
    ngthatahousewasbuil
    there.

    Ifi
    ndmysel
    fpavingthr
    oughbushes,
    itfeel
    sli
    keit’
    sbeenawhil
    esinceIstar
    tedt
    hisj
    our
    ney
    .I
    can’
    thel
    pbutfeelt
    hatIhavebeenwalki
    ngincir
    clesandi
    t’
    sgett
    ingdark.

    MaybeIshoul
    dn’thav elef
    tthehouse,Iam terr
    if
    iedoft hedarkandnotoncedidt hi
    scrossmy
    mindwhenIwaspl anningmyescape.It rudgeon, desperatet
    obef r
    eeagain.I
    fluckisonmy
    si
    deIwil
    lmakeittot hemai nroadbef
    or eitget
    st oodar k.Att
    hispoi
    ntIcan’tr
    elyonfate,
    see
    wherei
    thasbroughtme.I fitgetsi
    tswayt oday,Iwillendupbackinthatbeast’
    shouse.

    Myheartj
    erkswhenIhearfootstepst
    rail
    ingtowardsme,I’
    m conf
    usedatfi
    rstasIcan’
    ttel
    li
    f
    theyar
    ehumanoranimal.Idecidetohidebehindsomet r
    ee,i
    t’
    sthi
    ckenoughtohideme.
    Probl
    em i
    s,Ican’
    tst
    opwheezingoutoff earoftheunknown.

    Mythought
    sareconst
    antl
    yrunningar
    oundRandal
    lforsomereason,
    Ikeepwonderi
    ngi
    fIwi
    l
    l
    ev
    erseehim agai
    n.Wi
    llImakeithomeorwil
    lIbedevouredbysomewildani
    mal?

    Wi
    l
    lhebet
    roubl
    edwhenhef
    indsmybody
    ?Wel
    l
    ,what
    everwi
    l
    lbel
    eftofi
    t.

    Wi
    l
    lhebl
    amehi
    msel
    fformydeat
    h?

    Thef
    oot
    stepsar
    eget
    ti
    ngcl
    oser
    ,Ihol
    dmybr
    eat
    hasIpr
    epar
    efort
    hewor
    st.I
    ’
    m st
    art
    ingt
    ohat
    e
    t
    hisf
    atet
    hing,
    it’
    smessi
    ngwi
    thmyhead.

    Suddenl
    yIl
    oseall
    sensest
    ostayal
    i
    ve.Whati
    sli
    feany
    way
    ?Ithasnev
    ercl
    aimedmenordoesi
    t
    wantme.So,whyshoul
    dIf
    ightf
    ori
    t?

    Ishr
    iekatthesoundofabr anchcrackingbehindme.What ev
    eriti
    s,i
    sbehindme.Iscr eam as
    someonegr absmywai stf
    rom behind,alar
    gehandcov ersmymout handmybr eat
    hiscaught
    i
    nmyt hroat.Iseem t
    orecognizetheholdbut,toot
    erri
    fi
    edtorecal
    lit
    .Hereleasesmymout h
    andIconti
    nuet ostr
    ugglei
    ntheirgrip,f
    ight
    ingformyli
    febuthe’shol
    dingonf ordearl
    ife.Iknow
    i
    t’
    samanbecauset hesearmsf eelbigwrappedaroundmywai standI’
    m power l
    essagainsthim.

    “
    Nor
    mal
    peopl
    edon’
    ttakest
    rol
    l
    sint
    hebushesmehemma,
    wehav
    epar
    ksf
    ort
    hat
    .”(
    Myqueen.
    )

    Hisf
    ier
    cevoi
    ceprickl
    esmyears,
    asenseofrel
    iefri
    pplesthr
    oughmeatt hesoundofit
    ,
    somehowIam ecstat
    ict
    hati
    t’
    shim.Al
    thoughhehasn’tconceal
    edthelevel
    ofhisi
    nfuri
    ati
    on
    fr
    om me.If
    all
    numbi nhi
    sarms,I’
    mtir
    edandgivingintothi
    sbeastseemslikemyonlyopti
    on.

    Het urnsmear oundwit


    houtlett
    inggo,hisfaceisv i
    sibl
    ebutIcan’tseehiseyesduetothe
    dar
    knesshov eringar
    oundus.If eel
    them stabbingmet houghandi t
    ’sint
    ense.Hisdarkaur
    ais
    weighingmedown, t
    her
    e’sthisheavypresencet hat
    ’ssurr
    oundinghim andit
    ’sscari
    ngtheli
    vi
    ng
    daylightsoutofme.Isenserageanddi sappointmentfrom hi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whati
    sthi
    spr
    incess?Wher
    ear
    eyouof
    fto?Whydoy
    ouwantt
    ogoawayf
    rom me?
    ”

    Heaskssof
    tl
    ybuthi
    sthr
    eat
    eni
    ngv
    oicegi
    veshi
    m awayasi
    tpai
    ntspi
    ctur
    esofhi
    swr
    ath.

    Het i
    ghtensthegriponmywai st,
    mybosom i spressedagai
    nsthischestashe’slookingdown
    atme.Unabl etotaketheheavypresencecomingfrom him,
    Idropmyheadbutheuseshi s
    foref
    ingert
    obr i
    ngmyf aceup,forci
    ngmet olookathim.Hisfaceistooclosetomi ne,Icanfeel
    hiswarm breat
    ht ast
    ingever
    yinchofmyski n.I
    thast hesmel
    lofnicoti
    neagain,t
    hist i
    mei t
    ’s
    mingledwithabitofmi nt
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Youcan’
    trunawayf
    rom meAmar
    a,Iwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sfi
    ndy
    ou.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    s,bur
    yinghi
    sfaceonmyneckandsni
    ff
    sit
    .

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease.
    ”

    Iwhi
    mper
    ,Idon’
    tknowwhyt
    hispl
    eal
    eakedf
    rom mymout
    h.

    Hedoesn’tr
    espondtoi
    tbutpicksmeupwi t
    heaseasifIweighnot
    hingandbegi nstr
    eadi
    ng
    thr
    oughthebushes,
    usi
    nghisbackt oshiel
    dmef rom t
    hedangli
    ngbranches.Ikeepmyhandsto
    my sel
    fandst
    if
    fenmybody.Ihaven’
    ttri
    edtof i
    ghthi
    m sincehewhi
    skedmeup, Idon’
    thav
    ethe
    str
    engthtodoso.Mymindisconfused,andmyhear ti
    sheavy.

    Weent erthroughthefrontgate,theguardsareall
    overt heyar
    d.Thereseemstobemoreof
    them now, bythelooksont hei
    rfaces,theyarei
    ntrouble.Thi
    smancar ryi
    ngmedoesn’
    teven
    turntolookatt hem,hi
    sgazei sfixedtowherehe’sgoing.Hekicksthedooropenasoneofthe
    guardsattemptt oopenit.Ifi
    nal
    lycatchagl i
    mpseofhi sfaceinthel
    ightashewal
    ksusupthe
    stair
    s,he’
    sl i
    vi
    d.
    Mybodybeginstotr
    embl eoutoffear
    ,Idon’tknowwhathe’sgoi
    ngt
    odot ome.Heki ckst
    he
    bedr
    oom dooropen,marchesinandreject
    smybodyont hebed.Isi
    twhil
    escooti
    ngbacktothe
    headoft
    hebed,thelookinhiseyessayshe’sgoingt
    oattackme.Hesneersbutcol
    dlyandmy
    bodyshi
    ver
    satthesightofthatevi
    lsmirk.

    Het
    urnsandwal
    ksout
    ,locki
    ngt
    hedooraf
    terbangi
    ngi
    t.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    16*

    RANDALL*

    Thisi
    sthesecondt
    imeIhavecomecl
    oset
    olosi
    ngAmara,i
    fIdi
    dn’
    tcomehomeearl
    yand
    foundChi
    omapassedoutandputt
    woandtwotoget
    her
    .Iwoul
    dbespeaki
    ngadi
    ff
    erentst
    ory
    .

    Thatgirl
    istesti
    ngmypat ience,Idon’twanttolosemycoolwithherbut ,
    whatshedidisstupi
    d
    anddanger ous.Iam bey
    ondmadandmi ghthavetopuni
    shherforthat.Thankf
    ull
    yChiomaisn’
    t
    badl
    yi nj
    ured,i
    t’
    sjustasmal lbumpj ustaboveherneck.Mbusoistakinghercareofheri
    nher
    bedroom, Ihopeshe’sawakebecauseIneedt oknowhowAmar amanagedt ol
    eavethehouse.

    Iwal
    kinj
    ustasMbusohandsheragl
    assofwat
    er,
    she’
    spr
    obabl
    ytaki
    ngherpi
    l
    ls.

    Me:
    “Good,
    you’
    reawake.
    ”

    Isaymaki
    ngmywayt
    owar
    dst
    hem,
    shel
    ooksatmewi
    thf
    eari
    nherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    thanky
    ou.Pl
    ease,
    leav
    eus.
    ”

    IseeChi
    omat
    rembl
    e,Idon’
    tknowwhybecauseIwon’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    oher
    .

    Mbusol
    ooksathert
    henatme,
    henot
    iceswhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon.

    Mbuso:
    “Youneedt
    ocal
    m downRandal
    l
    ,letherr
    ecov
    erf
    ir
    st.
    ”

    Me:
    “Isai
    dthanky
    ou,
    nowl
    eav
    e.”

    Isnap.

    Mbuso:
    “Randal
    lyoucan’
    ttr
    eatpeopl
    eli
    key
    ouownt
    hem.
    ”

    Me:“Youknowt
    hist
    hingofy
    out
    ell
    i
    ngmewhatt
    odoi
    sget
    ti
    ngol
    d,y
    ou’
    repi
    ssi
    ngmeof
    f
    Mbuso.”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    mtr
    yingt
    ohel
    pher
    eman.
    ”

    Thener
    veoft
    hisf
    ool
    .

    Me:“WhatIdoi
    nmyhousehasnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ou,
    gett
    hef
    uckoutofher
    ebef
    oreIt
    hrow
    youout
    .”

    He’
    spushi
    ngme.

    Helooksdef
    eat
    ed,
    sighst
    henwal
    ksout
    .Chi
    omasi
    tsupandshegul
    psasIgi
    veherani
    ntense
    gl
    are.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryUze,
    I-”
    Me:“Wil
    lyoutel
    lmewhathappenedorshoul
    dIgoaskAmar
    aandbel
    i
    eveme,
    shewon’
    tli
    kemy
    i
    nter
    rogat
    ion.
    ”

    Iknowshehasdev el
    opedasof
    tspotf
    orher
    ,she’
    sbeenbuggi
    ngmeaboutl
    ett
    inghergo.She’
    s
    cl
    uelessaboutwhat’
    sreal
    l
    ygoi
    ngon.

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    She’
    scryi
    ng,
    IknowIshoul
    dn’
    tbedoi
    ngt
    hisbutr
    ightnowt
    hisi
    stheonl
    ywayI
    ’
    llpaci
    fymy
    anger
    .”

    Me:
    “Yes,
    you’
    resor
    rybutIwantt
    oknowwhathappened.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Shesai
    dshewant
    edt
    otakeawal
    kint
    hegar
    den.
    ”

    Me:
    “Andy
    ouagr
    eedbecause?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Idon’
    tknowI
    -”

    Me:
    “Iwantanswer
    sChi
    oma,
    Idon’
    tknowi
    snotananswer
    .”

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoust
    opsay
    ingt
    hat
    ?”

    Iy
    ell
    andshef
    li
    nches.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Shesai
    dshecoul
    dn’
    tbr
    eat
    hei
    nthatr
    oom and.
    ”

    Me:
    “Int
    hatbi
    gassr
    oom?
    ”

    Shel
    ooksatmet
    hencont
    inues.

    Chi
    oma: “
    Shepromisedthatshewoul
    dn’
    ttr
    yany
    thi
    ngandIbel
    i
    evedher
    ,she’
    ssoi
    nnocentt
    hat
    shesoundedconv
    incing.
    ”

    Me:“
    You’
    reri
    ghtaboutt
    hatChi
    oma, sheisi
    nnocentandnaï
    ve.Shedoesn’tknowwhat’
    sgoing
    onar
    oundher,
    that
    ’swhyshe’
    shere.Exposi
    ngheroutsi
    dewascarelessandstupi
    d.Doyouhave
    anyi
    deawhatyou’
    vedone?I
    fIdi
    dn’tfi
    ndher,doyouknowwhatwoul d’
    vehappenedtoher
    ?”

    Sheshakesherheadwhi
    l
    ewi
    pinghert
    ear
    s.

    Me:“Thatgi
    rli
    syourr
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    tywhenI’
    m notar
    oundandi
    fany
    thi
    nghappenst
    oherwhi
    l
    eI’
    m
    nothere,
    youwill
    knowmeChioma.Doy ouhearme?”

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryUze.
    ”

    Icl
    enchmyey
    es,
    Ihat
    ethatwor
    d.

    Me:
    “Amar
    awi
    l
    lbesor
    ryonceI
    ’
    m donewi
    thher
    .”

    It
    hreat
    enbef
    oremar
    chi
    ngout
    .
    AMARA*

    I
    ’vebeenl
    ay i
    ngont
    hebedcr yingmysor r
    owsout
    ,asoundofheavyf
    oot
    stepst
    rampingtowards
    ther
    oom catchmyattent
    ion.Iknowit’
    shim,
    suddenl
    ymyheartst
    art
    sbeati
    ngf
    ast.Fearknocks
    andit
    ’sal
    readyi
    nbeforeIcouldrej
    ecti
    t.

    Thedoorfl
    iesopenandRandal
    lstor
    msint
    otheroom,
    trudgi
    ngtowardsmeandr
    agev
    isi
    bleon
    hi
    sface.I
    ’
    m onmyf eeti
    naninstant
    ,myhear
    traci
    ngt
    oitsful
    lspeed.

    Hiscoldangryeyesarefixat
    edonme.Idon’ tknowwhathe’ saboutt odobutthisbeastis
    scari
    ngme.Iscr eam ashef l
    i
    pst hebedwithnoef f
    ortatall
    .Iwatchitasitf
    all
    stothefloor.He
    l
    ooksl i
    kehe’sabouttoexplode,heturnstolookatmewi thascowl onhisfaceandbegins
    saunter
    ingtowardsme.Imov ebacktil
    lmybackcol l
    idesagainstthewall
    .Mybodyi str
    embl i
    ng
    andIcan’tstopi
    t .Hetowersoverme, bot
    hhi shandscagingmeont hewall
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Whydoy
    oul
    i
    kepi
    ssi
    ngmeof
    fpr
    incess?
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Idon’
    trespond,hiseyesar
    elooki
    ngdeepint
    omysoul,shreddi
    ngmeapar tandital
    mostfeel
    s
    l
    ikeeverypartofmeisexposedtohi
    m, ev
    enthemosthiddenpart
    s.Iwanttodropmyey esbut
    thei
    rtoostubborntoadher
    etomycommand.I nst
    ead,
    theywouldratherst
    areintot
    hescary
    eyesofthebeast.

    Randal
    l
    :“It
    hinky
    ouenj
    oypr
    essi
    ngmybut
    tons.Youl
    oveseei
    ngmeangr
    ydon’
    tyou?
    ”

    Hisvoi
    cequaverswi
    thr
    age,
    he’
    ssoscar
    yri
    ghtnow.Af
    rai
    dofwhathemi
    ghtdo,
    Ishakemy
    headvi
    gorousl
    y.

    Randall
    :“Youbett
    erl
    ist
    enandtakenot
    es,
    pul
    lthatst
    untagai
    nandIwi
    l
    lhav
    eyouf
    lyi
    ngt
    o
    Europe.I
    ’m notki
    ddi
    ngAmara,
    tryme.”

    Hethr
    eatensi
    nadeadpanvoi
    ce.There’sasuddenknockatt
    hedoor,
    someonei
    sst
    ruggl
    i
    ng
    wi
    ththehandl
    e.I
    tseemstobelocked,Idon’
    trememberhimlocki
    ngi
    t.

    “
    Uzeopent
    hedoor
    .”

    I
    t’
    sChioma,
    she’
    sbangi
    ngont
    hedoor
    .Herv
    oicei
    slacedwi
    thf
    earasi
    tfr
    ant
    ical
    l
    ycal
    l
    soutt
    o
    Randal
    l
    .

    Ihavef
    inall
    ydroppedmygazebuthi
    seyesseem t
    obestubbor
    n,theyref
    usetoletgoofme.I
    ’
    m
    sti
    l
    ldet
    ainedbyhishandsandthewarmthofhi
    sbreat
    hthat
    ’si
    nvadingmyface.Heappear
    sto
    beunbotheredbythecr
    iesoft
    heel
    derl
    ywoman.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Uzeopent
    hisdoorr
    ightnow.
    ”

    Herdemandforcesmetolookupint
    ohiseyes,
    hewouldreal
    l
    ybeamonsterifheignor
    est
    hat
    desper
    atecr
    y.Iseeat
    witchinhi
    seyes.Hepull
    sbacksl
    owly,hi
    sey
    esst
    il
    lexplor
    ingme.

    Randal
    l
    :“You’
    rej
    oini
    ngmef
    ordi
    nner
    ,thi
    sishowi
    t’
    sgoi
    ngt
    obef
    rom nowon.Iwon’
    tkeepy
    ou
    l
    ockedupanymore.Bythewaymehemma,ther
    eisnoescapi
    ngany
    mor
    eandI
    ’
    m sur
    eyou
    wouldn’
    twantt
    ochall
    engeme.”(
    Myqueen)

    Het
    urnst
    owal
    kaway
    ,Chi
    omai
    sst
    il
    lcausi
    ngdr
    amaatt
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tknowhat
    ingsomeonecoul
    dcomesoeasy
    .”

    Hestopsandi
    ttakeshi
    m aminut
    etot
    urnback.Hel
    ooksatmei
    ntent
    ly,
    hedoesn’
    tlook
    bot
    heredbymydeclar
    ati
    on.

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    twor
    rypr
    incess,
    we’
    l
    ldef
    ini
    tel
    ydosomet
    hingaboutt
    hathat
    red.
    ”

    Thear
    rogance…

    Hepopst hedooropenandChiomaj er
    ks,taki
    ngastepback.She’
    sst
    andingt
    herel
    ookingall
    workedup,shescanshereyesintheroom.There’
    srel
    iefi
    nhereyesastheymeetmine,Randal
    l
    passesheranddisappear
    sint
    ot hecorr
    idor.

    NOMBULELO*

    We’r
    eoutsi
    deandt hewhol
    enei
    ghbour hoodhascomeoutt owat ch,myf at
    herhasbeengoi ng
    i
    nandoutoft hehouset
    aki
    ngmycl othesandthrowingthem outsi
    de.Ikeepfol
    lowinghim
    scr
    eam cr
    yingandbeggi
    nghimtost op,hedoesn’twantmeinhishouseany mor e.Thi
    sisthe
    ver
    ysamemanwhowant edtoberespectedinthecommuni t
    y ,
    nowhe’ sshowcasingourli
    vesin
    publ
    ic.

    Igr
    abhi
    sar
    m ashet
    hrowsoutt
    hel
    astofmycl
    othes.

    Me:
    “Daddypl
    ease…”

    Iscr
    eam cr
    ybuthey
    ankshi
    shandaway
    .

    Moses:“
    Thisiswhaty
    oudot
    omeNombul
    elo,
    aft
    erwor
    kingmyassof
    ftoputy
    oui
    na
    pr
    ominentschool
    .”

    Ican’
    tspeak,
    all
    Idoi
    scr
    y.

    Moses:“
    Whatthehell
    areyouall
    looki
    ngat ?Don’
    tyouhavebett
    ert
    hingstodowithy
    our
    miser
    abl
    eli
    ves?Nit
    hand’i
    ndabazabantu.That
    ’swhynihl
    uphekazi
    nja.
    ”(You’
    ret
    oonosy
    ,that
    ’s
    whyyou’
    rel
    ivi
    nginpover
    ty.
    )

    Her
    oar
    satt
    hecr
    owd,
    somel
    aughwhi
    l
    eot
    her
    sgasp.

    Me:
    “DaddyI
    ’
    m sor
    ry,
    please.Wher
    ewi
    l
    lIgoi
    fyout
    hrowmeout
    ?”

    Idr
    optomykneesi
    nfrontofhi
    m,hel
    ooksdownatme.Thel
    ooki
    nhi
    sey
    esbr
    eaksmyhear
    t
    moret
    hanhi
    sacti
    ons.

    Moses:
    “Idon’
    tcar
    ewher
    eyougo,
    asl
    ongasy
    ou’
    renoti
    nmyhouse.
    ”
    Nt
    ombi
    :“Moses,
    don’
    tdot
    hispl
    ease.
    ”

    Mymot
    heri
    sbehi
    ndhi
    m weepi
    ng,
    hehadsai
    dhewi
    l
    lki
    ckherouti
    fshet
    ri
    est
    ost
    ophi
    m.

    Moses:
    “ShutupwenaNt
    ombi
    .”

    Hey
    ell
    satherbef
    oret
    urni
    ngt
    ome.

    Moses: “
    Wenauf i
    leki
    mi,Idon’
    thaveachi
    ld.Nt
    ombi,
    lookatthewomany ouhavebecome.
    You’r
    ebarrenNtombi,youcan’
    tsayyouhavegi
    venbi
    rthusholent
    o.”(
    You’
    redeadtome…
    Refer
    ringtothi
    s.)

    Heshat
    ter
    smysoulwi
    thhi
    swords.Mymot
    hercarr
    iesherar
    msonherheadandscreams
    bef
    orewai
    li
    ngl
    i
    keIhav
    ejustdi
    ed.Myownmotheri
    smour ni
    ngmewhi
    leI’
    m st
    il
    lal
    iv
    e.

    Myfat
    heri
    smeantt
    opr otectme,
    andt
    hreat
    ent
    hati
    diotZuma.I
    sn’
    tthatwhatf
    ather
    sdo?They
    goal
    loutf
    ort
    hei
    rdaughters.

    Moses:“
    IfIev
    erseey oui
    nmypremi
    ses,
    Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyouandt
    henki
    l
    lmy
    sel
    fbecauseIr
    efuset
    ogo
    t
    ojai
    lforauselesst
    hingl
    ikey
    ou.
    ”

    Heshout
    s,turnsandgr
    absmymother
    ’sar
    m.Hedr
    agshercr
    yingi
    ntot
    hehouse,
    leav
    ingmet
    o
    gat
    hermythingswitht
    ear
    sbul
    l
    yingme.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Hay
    i,uMosesuy
    enzani
    inganej
    esu?(
    Whati
    sMosesdoi
    ngt
    othi
    schi
    l
    d?)

    “
    Izoy
    aphi
    nkosi
    yam’
    .(Wher
    ewi
    l
    lshego?
    )

    Someoldwomanj
    umpsi
    n.Ther
    e’swhi
    sper
    sfr
    om t
    hecr
    owd,
    Ican’
    tmakeoutwhatt
    heyar
    e
    say
    ing.

    I
    ’ml ooki
    ngatthem,hopi
    ngoneoft hem wil
    loff
    ermeapl acetostayatl
    eastf
    orthenight
    .These
    peoplemightaswellhav
    eraisedme, Igr
    ewupar oundthem.Theyallgi
    vemepiti
    ful
    looks
    beforeeachonegoesintot
    heirrespect
    ablehomes,locki
    ngthedoorsbehi
    ndthem.

    Idon’
    tunder
    standwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Howdi
    dmyl
    i
    fet
    akesuchadr
    ast
    ict
    urn?Wher
    ewi
    l
    lIgoi
    n
    thi
    sni
    ght?

    I
    ’
    mlef
    twi
    thoneopt
    ion.

    STYLES*

    Khethuisnotokay.I
    ’
    velostcountoft
    henumberoft i
    mesIhav estolengl
    ancesatherfrom t
    he
    ti
    mewepul ledoutofthehospi
    talpar
    kinglot
    .Myhear thasbeenracingsi
    nceshecalledand
    tol
    dmewhathappened.HowcanIbesocar eless?Iwassocaughtupi nprotect
    ingAmarathat
    Icompletel
    yfor
    gotaboutmybaby .Mkhizehasmessedwi ththewr ongman,fir
    stIwil
    ldealwit
    h
    thebaboonwhoshotather .

    Khet
    huwal
    ksaheadofmeaswemakeourwayt
    othehouse,
    Irusht
    oopent
    hedoorf
    orher
    .
    Shehasn’
    tlookedatmesincewegoti
    nthecarandt
    her
    idewassi
    l
    entwhi
    chwasodd,
    oursi
    l
    ent
    momentsar enevert
    hatawkwar
    d.

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouneedany
    thi
    ng?
    ”

    Iaskasshesitsbackonthecouch,
    shedoesn’
    tlookatmebutsi
    ghsi
    nfr
    ust
    rat
    ion.Ihat
    eseei
    ng
    herl
    iket
    his.Iambletoherandsi
    tbesi
    deher.

    Me:
    “Baby
    -”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Wher
    edi
    dyousl
    eepl
    astni
    ghtSt
    yles?
    ”

    What
    ?

    Me:
    “Isl
    epti
    ntheguestr
    oom.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Don’
    tli
    etomeSt
    yles,
    youwer
    en’
    ther
    ewhenIwokeupt
    hismor
    ning.
    ”

    Me:
    “BecauseIl
    eftt
    hehouseear
    li
    ert
    hanusual
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesy
    ou’
    rel
    yi
    ngt
    ome.
    ”

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Whati
    sthi
    s?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwantt
    oknowwher
    eyouwer
    elastni
    ght
    .Whodi
    dyougoandsee?
    ”

    Iseewher
    eshe’
    sgoi
    ngwi
    tht
    his.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notcheat
    ingony
    oui
    fthat
    ’swhaty
    ou’
    ret
    hinki
    ng.
    ”

    Shel
    ooksatmeandcackl
    es.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tsayt
    haty
    ou’
    recheat
    ingonme.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youwer
    eimpl
    yi
    ngi
    t.
    ”

    Isnapandshegoesqui
    etf
    orawhi
    l
    e,It
    akeherhandi
    ntomi
    ne.

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,lookatme.
    ”

    Sher
    aisesherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Il
    ovey
    ou,
    Iwoul
    dnev
    erl
    ookatanot
    herwoman.You’
    remykhet
    hu,
    myonl
    yey
    e.”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Onl
    yey
    e?”

    Me: “
    Yes, meaningyouaretheonl
    yonef ormeandI ’
    m sor
    ryforbeinganass.”IexplainasIl
    ean
    overher,shesmi l
    es,herey
    esshyingawayf rom me.It
    ’samazinghowaf tersomanyy earsof
    beingtogetherIsti
    l
    lmakeherblush, andit
    ’ssti
    l
    lthemostperfectsightI
    ’
    v eeverseen.Myli
    ps
    softl
    ybrushherslongenoughtobr eatheherin.

    Me:
    “You’
    reokay
    ?”
    Iwhi
    speragai
    nstherl
    i
    ps.

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m okay
    .”

    Shewhisper
    sbackandIdon’ tgi
    veherti
    metobr eatheasIcaptureherli
    psint
    omine,ever
    ykiss
    wit
    hherfeel
    slikethefir
    st.Sheisabreat
    hoffreshai randIknowIdon’tneedmarr
    iagetoprove
    howmuchIl oveher,Iwishshewouldunder
    standt hat.Ipul
    lbackfi
    nishi
    ngtheki
    sswithapack
    onhernose,herpl
    um cheekshav etur
    nedashadeofpi nk.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Baby
    ,aboutwhathappenedatt
    hehospi
    tal
    -”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    kaboutt
    hat
    ,ther
    e’ssomet
    hingIneedt
    oasky
    ou.
    ”

    It
    akemyphoneandshowherapi
    ctur
    e.

    Me:
    “Themant
    hatshotaty
    ou,
    isi
    thi
    m?”

    Herf
    acegi
    vesi
    tawayashor
    rori
    sev
    identi
    nherey
    es.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Herv
    oicebr
    eaks.

    Me:
    “Khet
    huIwanty
    out
    oli
    stent
    ome.
    ”

    ImakesureIglanceint
    oherey
    esasIt
    akehercheeksi
    ntomyhands,
    sheneedst
    oseehow
    ser
    iousIam aboutthi
    s.

    Me:
    “Noonewi
    l
    lev
    ert
    hreat
    eny
    ouagai
    n,notasl
    ongasIam al
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ogooutf
    orabi
    t.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Nobaby
    ,leti
    tgo.
    ”

    That
    ’st
    het
    hing,
    Ican’
    tleti
    tgo.Iwon’
    tbeokayi
    fIi
    gnor
    ethi
    s.

    Me:
    “Don’
    twor
    ry,
    I’
    mjustgoi
    ngt
    oseeRandal
    l
    .”

    SheknowsI
    ’
    mly
    inghence,
    thet
    ear
    sinherey
    es.

    Khet
    hu:
    "Don’
    tdot
    hisSt
    yles.Whati
    fsomet
    hinghappenst
    oyou?Whatwi
    l
    lbecomeofme?
    ”

    Me:
    “Not
    hingwi
    l
    lhappent
    ome,
    Itol
    dyouI
    ’
    mjustgoi
    ngt
    oseeRandal
    l
    .”

    Shef
    oll
    owsmet
    othedoor
    .

    khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m comi
    ngwi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “No!It
    oldy
    ouI
    ’
    llbeback,
    didn’
    tI?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “ButSt
    yles.
    ”

    Me:
    “Got
    obedKhet
    hu.
    ”
    Ii
    nst
    ructanddashoutt
    hedoor,l
    eav
    inghercal
    li
    ngouttome.Khethudoesn’
    tunder
    stand,
    Mkhi
    zecrossedal
    lli
    mit
    stodayandIwil
    lnotsi
    tbackandputmyfeetup.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    17*

    NOMBULELO*

    Lif
    eshoul dr
    eallycomewi t
    hamanual ,t
    hisshi
    tishard.I
    fsomeonehadt ol
    dmet hatgr
    owingup
    woul dbethi
    shar d,Iwoul
    dhav easkedt
    or emainachil
    dforev
    er.NotsolongagoIwasonmy
    fathershoul
    derashespunmear oundli
    keIwasasl i
    ghtasaf eat
    her,
    thelooki
    nhiseyes
    promi sedpr
    otectionfr
    om al
    lthebadthi
    ngslif
    ehadtot hr
    owatme.

    Lookatmenow,Iam al
    one,walki
    nginthedarkwithnowher
    etogo.Noonetocal
    l,maybeI
    shoul
    dendi
    t.HowdoIliveaft
    eralloft
    his?IwishAmarawashere,
    atl
    eastIwoul
    dn’tbeal
    one.

    Myemot
    ionsshutdownandtheonl
    ythingIcant
    hinkofi
    sendi
    ngmyl
    i
    fe,
    Ifi
    ndmy
    sel
    fst
    andi
    ng
    i
    nthemi
    ddleoftheroadwi
    thmyluggageandgar
    bage.

    Ishutmyey
    esandwai
    tforwhat
    everwi
    l
    lcomet
    orunmeov
    er,
    itwi
    l
    lbebet
    teri
    fIdon’
    tseei
    t
    coming.

    ThatwayIwil
    lwakeupi
    nheaven,wel
    l
    ,that
    ’swhatIhope.I
    ’
    vebeenagoodgi
    rlandIl
    oveGod,
    sur
    elyHecan’
    trej
    ectmeaswell
    .

    Suddenly,I
    ’m notsosureaboutthi
    splotofmi ne.Iam notbr
    aveenoughtotakemyownl if
    e,I
    admitthatI’
    m acowar d.I
    t’
    stoolat
    etomov ebecauseIhearacar ,
    thedri
    verwon’tseemeas
    I’
    m wearingallbl
    ack.Icanseetheli
    ghtpier
    cingt hr
    oughthedarknessofmyv i
    sion,Icl
    enchmy
    eyesandpr eparefort
    hewor st
    .

    Iheari
    tscr
    eechandt
    heli
    ghthasbecomebr
    ight
    er,
    itwi
    l
    lbeov
    eranysecondnow.Iwai
    tfort
    he
    i
    nevit
    abl
    e,t
    here’
    snogoi
    ngbacknow.

    Okay
    ,I’
    m st
    il
    lst
    andi
    ng.

    Whyhasn’
    tithi
    tmey
    et?Iheart
    hesoundofacardooropen.

    Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sthi
    s?Ev
    endeat
    hrej
    ect
    sme?

    “
    Hey
    ,ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?”

    Iopenmyey estothethunderousmal
    evoi
    cebarki
    ngatme.I
    ’m unabl
    etomakeouthi
    sfacedue
    tothebrightli
    ght
    s.Hisvoicesoundsf
    amil
    i
    arthough,
    hemarchesuptome.Ist
    epbackasI
    detectangerinhisbodylanguage.

    Hi
    m:“
    Arey
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyour
    sel
    fandgetme_
    ”

    Hest
    opsasher
    ecogni
    zesme,
    it’
    sthatguywhoal
    mosthi
    tmewi
    thacarear
    li
    eron.

    Hi
    m:“
    Wow!
    !!
    ”

    Hechuckl
    esannoy
    ingl
    yso.
    Hi
    m:“
    You’
    vegott
    obeki
    ddi
    ngme,
    it’
    syouagai
    n.”

    Hesoundsshockedandbewi
    l
    der
    ed.

    Hi
    m:“
    Isi
    tanor
    mfory
    out
    ojumpi
    ntospeedi
    ngcar
    sory
    ouhav
    eadeat
    hwi
    shorsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ihav
    eadeat
    hwi
    sh.
    ”

    Ir
    espondcol
    dly
    .

    Hef
    rowns,
    I’
    m conf
    usi
    ngt
    heguy
    .

    Hi
    m:“
    Doy
    ouneedhel
    p?”

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouwoul
    drunmeov
    erwi
    thacar
    .Thatwoul
    dbegr
    eat
    .”

    I’
    m notpl
    ayi
    ng.Myfacei
    scol
    d,myemot
    ionsar
    etuckedawaysomewher
    eandmyt
    onei
    sas
    coldasacorpse.

    Hi
    m:“
    Sisi
    ,Idon’
    tknowwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngonwi
    thy
    oubut
    ,deat
    hisnev
    erananswer
    .”

    Me:
    “Iti
    stome.
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Thi
    nkofy
    ourf
    ami
    l
    y.Thepai
    ntheywi
    l
    lgot
    hroughwhen-
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    thav
    eaf
    ami
    l
    y.”

    Icuthi
    m of
    f.Her
    eleasesadef
    eat
    edsi
    gh.

    Hi
    m:“
    What
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”

    Het
    akesast
    epcl
    oser
    .

    Me:
    “Lel
    o.”

    Idon’
    tknowwhyI’
    mt el
    l
    inghim mynamebecauseIwi
    l
    lbedeadsoon.Maybehe’l
    lbetheonl
    y
    oneatmyfuner
    alsi
    ncemyf amil
    yhasdi
    sownedmeandprobabl
    ymymot her
    ,that’
    sifmyfat
    her
    al
    lowsher.

    Hi
    m:“
    Lel
    o,ni
    cet
    omeety
    ou.I
    ’
    m Mbuso.
    ”

    Hei
    ntr
    oduceshi
    msel
    fandI
    ’
    mleasti
    nter
    est
    edi
    nwhohei
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “It
    ’scol
    douther
    e,shal
    lwegeti
    nthecar
    ?”

    If
    ollowhi
    m anyway
    ,ifhet
    urnsoutt
    obesomepsy
    choser
    ial
    kil
    l
    ert
    henhoor
    ayf
    orme.Ist
    ruggl
    e
    abittocl
    i
    mbi nt
    ohi
    sSUV,It’
    swarminsi
    de.

    Mbuso:
    “Ar
    eyouwar
    m?”

    Inod.

    Mbuso:
    “Youseem l
    i
    keani
    cegi
    rlLel
    o.”

    Idon’
    tseeapoi
    ntt
    othi
    s.
    Mbuso:“Lif
    eisneverwhatwewanti ttobebut,
    thatdoesn’
    tmeanweshouldsuccumbtoi ts
    af
    fl
    icti
    ons.I’
    m pret
    tysur
    eyou’r
    estrongerthant
    hisLelo,
    youshoul
    dn’
    tgiv
    eintothosevoices
    whisper
    inginsi
    deyourhead.Theyutterpur
    enonsense,i
    tsl
    iesandi
    fyou’
    renotcar
    eful
    y ou’l
    l
    gi
    veintoit.
    ”

    Ist
    il
    lcannotseehi
    spoi
    nt.

    Me: “
    DoyouhaveanyideawhatIhavebeenthr
    oughint
    hepastf
    ewhours?Myli
    fet
    ookamajor
    U-t
    urnst
    rai
    ghti
    ntotr
    affi
    c.Ther
    e’snootherwayoutf
    ormebuttojumpandIhav
    eaccept
    edmy
    fat
    e.”

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    scan’
    tbey
    ourf
    inal
    dest
    inat
    ionLel
    o,y
    ou-
    ”

    Me:“Li
    steni
    fIneededaser
    mon,
    Iwoul
    d’v
    egonet
    ochur
    ch.Pl
    easespar
    emet
    hel
    ect
    ureI
    ’
    m
    okay
    .”

    Isnapathi
    m.Doesher
    eall
    yhavet
    ofr
    ust
    rat
    emel
    i
    ket
    his?Hegoesqui
    etf
    orawhi
    l
    e,he’
    s
    l
    ookingatmeandIl
    ookaway.

    Ther
    e’sanur
    get
    ocl
    i
    ckmyt
    onguebutIcan’
    taf
    for
    dtober
    udenotwhenI
    ’
    minhi
    scar
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Ist
    her
    eany
    wher
    eyoucangot
    o?Icandr
    opy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    osnap.Nowy
    ou’
    rer
    ushi
    ngt
    ogetr
    idofme.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “No,
    that
    ’snoti
    t.Ihav
    eapl
    anet
    ocat
    chi
    ntwohour
    sandIwoul
    dn’
    twantt
    omi
    ssi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Isi
    tanor
    mfory
    out
    ogoar
    ounddr
    oppi
    ngpeopl
    eof
    f.
    ”

    Ij
    oke,
    showi
    ngal
    i
    ttl
    elazysmi
    l
    e.Hechuckl
    es.

    Mbuso:“
    Sofar,
    it’
    sonl
    ybeeny
    ou.Ihopenextt
    imewemeeti
    twon’
    tbeunderdi
    re
    ci
    rcumst
    ances.
    ”

    Ishr
    ugmyshoul der
    sasIhavenoanswerf
    ort
    hat
    ,Idon’
    tknowi
    ftheywi
    l
    lbeanextt
    ime.Ist
    il
    l
    havetoponderuponhi
    spreachi
    ng.

    Mbuso:
    “Wel
    l
    ?”

    Hesnapsmeback.Ir
    ecal
    ltheopt
    ionIhadwhenIl
    efthome,
    IhopeIwon’
    tli
    vet
    oregr
    eti
    t.

    Me:
    “Yeah.
    ”

    I
    fthi
    sisl
    i
    fet
    hen,
    I’
    m good.

    RANDALL*

    TosayIf eel
    li
    kecrapisanunderst
    atement,
    thethi
    ngi
    sIlosti
    t.Icoul
    dn’
    tcomprehendthe
    thoughtofAmaraleavi
    ngthi
    splace.Thatwoul
    donlymeanthatshewouldbeawayf r
    om me,
    whichisanightmare.
    Whatwi ll
    Idowiththisaddict
    ionIhave?Theneedt obearoundher
    ,whatwi l
    lIdowhenitgr
    ows
    andshe’snowheret obefound?Ihadt orebukehersosheseeshowser i
    ousIam aboutthi
    s.I
    can’thonest
    lyt
    ellherthetr
    uthaboutwhat ’
    sgoingon,t
    hisistopr
    otectherandIhaveafeel
    ing
    thatshewon’tbel
    ievemei fIdotell
    her.

    Ihavehear
    dSt y
    lescomplai
    nabouthowKhethutakesfor
    ev ertogetready
    ,it
    ’satrai
    tthat
    womenhav e.I
    ’vebeenwait
    ingf
    orAmaratocomedownst airsfordi
    nner,
    Iwonderwhat ’
    s
    keepi
    ngher.Chiomahadsaidfi
    veminut
    es,Iguessfi
    veminut estowomeni sprobabl
    yanhour
    orfor
    everi
    ftheyfeell
    ikei
    t.

    IaskedChi
    omat ohel
    phergetready,
    sheshouldmakeherlookgood.Isai
    dtohert hatIwantto
    bespeechl
    esswhenIseeher,maybedressi
    ngupwi l
    lmakeherfeel
    abitbett
    er.Ihatethatshe
    str
    essesalotbut
    ,onedayshewill
    comet ounder
    standwhyIdidwhatIdidandhopef ul
    lyshe
    wil
    lthankme.

    Growi
    ngimpatient
    ,Igetuptogocheckonher ,
    Istopatthesightofherwal
    ki
    ngdownt hestai
    rs.
    Myheartdoessomet hi
    ngther
    e,Idon’
    tknowwhati ti
    sandIwon’ tdwel
    loni
    t.Herheadisbowed,
    shewalksl
    ikeshedoesn’twanttobeherebutshe’
    llgetusedtoit.

    Iknewredwil
    lbl
    endwellwi
    thherhazel
    nutski
    ncol
    our,
    I’m compl
    etel
    yspeechl
    essasIwatchher
    tr
    eaddownthoselongst
    air
    s.Iwanthert
    ogettomealreadysoIcanseeherfr
    om acloserange,
    henceImeetherhal
    fway
    .Herscentmeetsmebefor
    eIgett oher
    .

    Shedoesn’tl
    ookupatme, I
    ’
    mt empt edtoholdherinmyar msbutIdon’twanttoal
    arm her.I
    t’
    s
    badenought hatIl
    etherseethatsideofmet oday.It
    il
    tmyheadasIl eanover,
    let
    ti
    ngmyey es
    fol
    lowhers.Sherai
    seshersadpal eey est
    hatrevealt
    hestressandtr
    aumashe’sbeengoi ng
    thr
    ough.Theur get
    oembr acehergr owsbutI’
    m abletorestr
    ainmysel
    f.

    Me:
    “Mehemma.
    ”

    There’
    snoemot
    ioni
    nhereyes,ithurt
    smet oseeherl
    i
    ket hi
    s.Iwanttorel
    easehersoshecan
    gorestbutI
    ’
    mtoosel
    fi
    shforthat,Iwantt
    ospendtimewithher.Shehasbecomelikeadrugt
    o
    meandIneedmydoseofenergybef oret
    henighti
    sover
    .

    Iwanttotel
    lhershe’sbeauti
    fulbutsomethinginmer efusesmeaccess, i
    tmustbet hi
    sstupid
    i
    ceboxt hat
    ’swrestl
    i
    ngwi t
    hmyhear t
    .Ifi
    ndmy sel
    fsniffingherneck,l
    eavi
    ngt r
    ail
    sofwetkisses.
    Herbodystart
    strembli
    ngandshebui l
    dsabr i
    dgebetweenuswi t
    hherhands, shewantsmet o
    stop.Wit
    hgreatdif
    fi
    cult
    yIpullback,nowIseepanichast akenoverhereyes.Ionl
    yhopeshe
    doesn’
    tstar
    tcryi
    ngbecausehert earsaremyweakness, Iwil
    ll
    oseitandfi
    nallymakehermi ne.
    Ar i
    skIhopeIwil
    lnottake,she’
    st oofr
    agil
    eanddelicate.

    Me:
    “Mypr
    eci
    ousAmar
    a,shal
    lwesi
    t.
    ”

    Ir
    eachoutmyhand,
    shel
    ooksati
    t.Herey
    essayshe’
    scont
    empl
    ati
    ng,
    shet
    akesi
    trel
    uct
    ant
    ly.

    Thi
    shappensal
    lthet
    imewhenI
    ’
    m ar
    oundher
    ,somet
    hingseemst
    otakeov
    erandIcan’
    tcont
    rol
    whatIsayt
    oher.

    Ifeell
    ikeaki
    ngasIholdherhand,it
    ’swarmt
    honmyski nisunexpl
    ainabl
    e.Il
    eadhert
    ot he
    table,
    pull
    asitf
    orherandsi
    trightnextt
    oher,Ir
    efuset
    oletdi
    stancehavethi
    smoment .It
    ’smy
    momentandI
    ’
    m notl
    ett
    inggo.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    oudi
    dthi
    sMoses.Myonl
    ychi
    l
    d?”

    Moses:
    “Whatchi
    l
    d?Youdon’
    thav
    eachi
    l
    dNt
    ombi
    ,she’
    sdead.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youcan’
    tabandony
    ourowndaught
    erMoses,
    Godwi
    l
    lpuni
    shy
    ou.
    ”

    Moses:“
    Ify
    ouwanttomakefuneralar
    rangementssoyoucangetovert
    his,
    thenf
    inewewil
    ldo
    i
    t.Thewhol
    eshebang,
    wecanev enhaveat ombstonedonef
    orher.Wehavethemoneynow.”

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evehejustsai
    dthat
    ,he’
    ssit
    ti
    ngonthecoucheati
    ngli
    kehi
    sli
    fedependsoni
    twhi
    l
    e
    hischi
    l
    disoutt
    hereinthecol
    d.Whatki
    ndofademoni st
    his?Imar
    ri
    edthedevil
    .

    Me:
    “Moses?Vel
    eyouwantt
    omakemeachi
    l
    dlesswoman?
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m but
    ,hedoesn’
    tseem bot
    her
    edashecont
    inuest
    aki
    ngbi
    tesofhi
    smeat
    .

    Moses:“
    Youareachil
    dlesswomanNt ombi,
    weshouldhavehadaboy.Iknewhavi
    ngagirl
    was
    goi
    ngtobri
    ngmeshame, l
    ookatmenow.Ishouldhaver
    anwhenthetimewasright
    ,Iwoul
    dn’
    t
    bethi
    shumil
    iat
    ed.Nowev ery
    oneknowsthatIhadawhoreofadaught
    er.”

    Heconti
    nueswi t
    hhismouthfull
    whil
    etaki
    ngmor efoodintohi
    smout h.Thispigspeaksofmy
    daught
    eri
    npastt ense,
    hereal
    lyhasdecl
    aredherdead.I’
    m baf
    fl
    edbyal l
    oft hi
    s.Isthi
    sman
    awareofwhathe’ssayi
    ngorhashelosthismind?May beIhi
    thimt oohar dwiththatbot
    tl
    e.I
    shoul
    dhavekil
    ledhim,thesi
    ghtofhi
    m makesmenauseas.Ican’ tstandhi mrightnow.

    Ntombi
    : “
    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    osayt
    oyouany
    mor
    eMoses,
    butknowt
    his.MyGodsees
    ev
    eryt
    hing.”

    Moses:“Oh?Ngempel a?Likehowy ouhitmeontheheadwithabeerbott


    le?Ihaven’tforgot
    ten
    whatyoudi dwenaNtombi ,andoneofthesedaysI
    ’mtel
    li
    ngyou.Youwil
    lpayforthis,uyabona
    thi
    sscaronmyheadwi l
    l r
    emi ndmeofthekindofwomany ouar
    e.Ungang’bulal
    aphelawena.I
    havetosleepwithmyey esopennowbecauseIdon’ttr
    ustyou.
    ”(Real
    l
    y?Youar ecapabl eof
    kil
    l
    ingme.)

    Di
    sgust
    ingev
    ilbast
    ard.

    Icl
    i
    ckmyt
    ongueandwal
    ktot
    heki
    tchen.

    Moses:
    “Yeah,
    hambav
    ele.
    ”(Go)

    Hi
    svoi
    cef
    oll
    owsmet
    otheki
    tchen.

    RANDALL*
    Amarahasn’
    teatenmuch, Ihavebeenconversingwithmyself
    .Allshedoesi
    snodorshakeher
    headandI’
    mr emindedofthewor dssheut
    teredt omebeforeIlef
    therroom earl
    ier
    .It’
    snota
    ni
    cefeel
    ingknowingthatshehatesme.Iwill
    deal wi
    tht
    hatinti
    me, whatmatter
    satt hemoment
    i
    sthatshe’
    sherewi t
    hme.Al t
    houghhereyesr efusetomeetmine.

    Myphoneri
    ngsdistur
    bingmefr
    om t
    hisperf
    ectmoment,i
    fitwer
    einmypocketIwoul
    d’v
    e
    i
    gnor
    edit
    .Butseeingthecal
    l
    erI
    D,i
    tcouldbeimpor
    tant
    .

    Me:
    “Ol
    i
    via?
    ”

    Thiswomanget
    sonmyner
    vessomet
    imesbutIhav
    etot
    oler
    ateherf
    ort
    hesakeofmy
    daught
    er.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    lpl
    easecome,
    it’
    sJoseph.He’
    str
    yingt
    odr
    ownLi
    ya.
    ”

    Shesoundsf
    rantic,
    forasecondit
    ’shar
    dt obel
    iev
    ewhatshej
    ustsai
    d.Butknowi
    ngt
    hatj
    unki
    e
    boyf
    ri
    endofhers.Itol
    dhertokeephim awayfr
    om chi
    l
    d.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tst
    ophi
    m Randal
    l
    ,he’
    slockedupi
    nthebat
    hroom wi
    thherandIcan’
    tgeti
    n.”

    Ij
    umpupst
    art
    li
    ngaqui
    etAmar
    a.

    Me:
    “IswearOl
    i
    via,
    ift
    hatsonofabi
    tchhur
    tsmydaught
    er,
    Iwi
    l
    lfucki
    ngki
    l
    lyou.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Josephopent
    hedoor
    ,don’
    thur
    tmybabypl
    ease.
    ”

    Shescr
    eamsi
    nthebackgr
    ound,
    ther
    e’sal
    oudbangi
    ngaswel
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Ol
    i
    via!
    !!
    ”

    Ishoutbutal
    lIheari
    shersobsandpl
    eas.

    Amar
    aisl
    ooki
    ngatme,
    conf
    usi
    onwr
    it
    tenal
    lov
    erherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma!
    !!
    ”

    Sher
    ushesdownatmycal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Takecar
    eofher
    ,Ihav
    etogoout
    .”

    Idon’
    tgiveherachancetor
    espondasIrushoutoft
    hehouse.I
    ’m goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lOl
    i
    via,
    she’
    s
    stupi
    d.She’
    salwaysbeenst
    upidandIcurset
    hedayImether.

    Oli
    viawasaoneni ghtstand,Iwasdrunkandonet hingledt oanother.Fiveyearslater,
    she
    comest omewi thababycl ai
    mingthatshe’smi ne.Ofcour seIdidn’tbeli
    eveher,theDNA
    provedherwor dst obet rue.Shedeni
    edmet hewhol ef i
    vey earsofmydaught er’
    sli
    fe,whenI
    want edtotakeLi y
    anat olivewit
    hmeshedecl inedandt hreatenedtodi sappearwithmy
    pri
    ncess.Olivi
    ai swhite,andIwonder edwhyshewoul dgiveourdaught eraZul uname.She
    explainedabouthowshewasdat ingthisblackguyf orfoury ear
    s,hewaspossessi ve.Whenshe
    foundoutshewaspr egnant,hewasal r
    eadyi nherlif
    eandt hedatesdidn’taddup.Shehadno
    choicebuttopr esentmybabyt ohim ashis.Hel eftherwhenhef oundout ,t
    il
    ltodayitanger
    s
    methatanot
    hermanr ai
    sedmychildwhi
    leIwasdepri
    vedt
    hechance.Thatwomani
    sev
    il
    .It
    ’s
    f
    ouryearsl
    aterandI
    ’
    m stil
    lwor
    kingongett
    ingLi
    yanahome.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    18*

    STYLES*

    I
    tdidn’
    ttakelongf
    ormetogettoPret
    ori
    aEast
    .Forsomeonewhogoesar oundthr
    eat
    eni
    ng
    peopl
    eMkhi zesur
    eiscomf
    ort
    able,
    theol
    dmani snotv
    igi
    l
    ant.Icancounttheguar
    dsout
    sidei
    n
    j
    ustonehand.

    Iusemylaptopt
    odisengagetheelect
    ri
    cgate,theal
    arm sy
    stem andsecur
    it
    ycamer
    as.Wal
    ki
    ng
    i
    nt her
    ewil
    lbeaseasyassli
    dingintoaslayqueen’
    sDM’s.

    Mygunisreadyandl
    oaded,
    Ionl
    yneedone.Igr
    abmybackpack,
    Ithi
    nkwe’
    regoi
    ngt
    ohav
    ea
    par
    tyi
    nthere.

    Ient
    erthegatewit
    hsuchease,someguyi nbl
    ackcomesrunni
    ngtowar
    dsmeandIshoothim
    ontheheadwithasil
    encer
    ,hefal
    lsdead.Thehousei
    snotfarf
    rom t
    hegat
    e,Ispotanot
    her
    guardwalki
    ngbackandfor
    thatthefr
    ontdoor.

    It
    hinkofusingt
    hebackentr
    ancebutt
    akingoutt
    hatf
    ool
    aswel
    lwi
    l
    ldomegood.Idon’
    twantt
    o
    bedist
    urbedonceI
    ’
    mi nther
    ewithMkhize.

    It
    ipt
    oebehindhim,hecl
    ear
    lycannotdet
    ectanyt
    hing.Thi
    sisverycarelessofMkhize,
    hir
    ing
    i
    mmaturestoguardhi
    sfamil
    y.It
    aphim ontheshoulder
    ,hetur
    ns.Hel ooksstar
    tl
    edand
    i
    mmediatel
    yreachesf
    orhi
    sgunbutIshoothim ontheheadaswel l
    .

    I
    fli
    fewast
    hiseasy
    ,woul
    dn’
    twebeonef
    uckeduphumani
    ty.

    Thedoorisnotl
    ocked,I
    ’
    mi nt
    hehouse.Ther
    e’snooneinsi
    ght,t
    heloungeisemptybutthe
    l
    ight
    sareon.Ihearhummingcomi
    ngf r
    om behindme,
    Icanrecogni
    zethatscrat
    chythr
    oatfrom
    anywher
    e.

    Hehashisheaddippedi
    nthefr
    idge,he’
    sweari
    nghisni
    ghtgown.Ileanagai
    nstt
    hekit
    chen
    count
    erwait
    ingf
    orhimtocomeout .Hestopsasifhef
    eel
    smypr esenceandpeeksbehi
    ndthe
    opendoor
    .Ismir
    kathim ashefrownsuponseeingme.

    Me:
    “Hi
    i
    ii
    .”

    Ihum.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Shi
    t.
    ”

    Hegrunt
    sandt
    urnsi
    nanat
    temptt
    orunbutI
    ’
    m behi
    ndhi
    minaj
    i
    ffy
    ,mygunpoki
    nghi
    slower
    back.

    Me:
    “Rel
    axMkhul
    u,y
    ou’
    l
    lpassouti
    fyouov
    erwor
    kyour
    sel
    f.
    ”

    It
    aunthi
    m.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Howdi
    dyougeti
    nher
    e?”
    Me:“
    Doesn’
    tmat t
    er,
    whatmatt
    ersi
    sthatI’
    m her
    e.Youcal
    l
    edmedi
    dn’
    tyouMkhi
    ze?Ibel
    i
    eve
    youl
    eftamessagewithy
    ourer
    randboy.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “You’
    remaki
    ngami
    stakeSi
    shi
    .”

    Me:
    “Notf
    rom wher
    eI’
    m st
    andi
    ng.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Myf
    ami
    l
    yisher
    e,canwedot
    hissomewher
    eel
    se?
    ”

    Me:“Don’tbeaspoi
    leroldman,y
    ousummonedmeandsoIcameoutt
    opl
    ay.I
    twon’
    tbef
    un
    wi
    thoutthemightyMkhizest
    hough.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Don’
    tdot
    hisboy
    ,itwon’
    tendwel
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Youst
    art
    edi
    t,nev
    erst
    artaf
    ir
    eyoucan’
    tputoutmkhul
    u.”

    Ali
    tt
    leboyaboutt
    enyear
    sofagecomesr
    ushi
    ngi
    ntot
    heki
    tchen,
    Ihi
    demygunj
    usti
    nti
    me.He
    st
    opsatthesi
    ghtofme.

    Hi
    m:“
    Baba,
    ubani
    lo?
    ”(Whoi
    sthi
    sdad?
    )

    Me:
    “Hel
    l
    oboyboy
    .”

    Igr
    eet
    ,hesl
    owl
    yrai
    seshi
    shandandwav
    es.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    "Woza“
    kubabamf
    anawam’
    ”(Comet
    oyourf
    athermyson.
    )

    Iseewhathe’
    str
    yingt
    odo.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tev
    endar
    e,sendhi
    m away
    .”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Mf
    anawam…”(
    Myson-
    )

    Het
    hinksIwon’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    ohi
    minf
    rontofhi
    sson.Isl
    i
    pmygunoutandpr
    essi
    tonhi
    s
    l
    owerback.

    Me:“DaremeMkhize.Nowsendthi
    sboyawayorI ’
    l
    l st
    artser
    v i
    ngbull
    etsli
    kecandyatabi rt
    hday
    part
    y.Wewouldn’
    twantabloodbathnowwouldwe?Icanal readyseetheheadlines…<<<Taxi
    bossandfamil
    ykil
    l
    edexecuti
    onsty
    le>>>orbet
    teryet…<<<Taxibosskil
    lsfamil
    yt hentur
    nsthe
    gunonhimself
    >>>Iwil
    lmakeitagruesomedeatht
    hatthepresidentwil
    ldeclar
    et hisdaya
    publ
    icholi
    dayi
    nhonouroftheMkhi
    zemassacre.YouknowIcanmakei thappen”

    HeknowsI
    ’
    m notpl
    ayi
    ng.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Hambauy
    olal
    amf
    anawami
    .”(
    Got
    obedmyson)

    Me:
    “Goodni
    ghtboyboy
    .”

    Igr
    inatt
    heboyashewal
    ksaway
    .

    Me:
    “Awesome,
    we’
    real
    onenow.JustwhatIwant
    ed.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom meSi
    shi
    ?”

    Me:
    “Ij
    ustwantt
    otal
    kthat
    ’sal
    l
    .Her
    e’st
    hepl
    an,
    we’
    regoi
    ngt
    owal
    koutoft
    hishousewi
    thout
    any
    onenot
    ici
    ng.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Downmemor
    ylane.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ounj
    a.”(
    Dog.
    )

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tspeaknegat
    ivemkhul
    u.WhenIsaywear
    egoi
    ngt
    hen,
    wear
    egoi
    ng.Nowmov
    e.”

    Ipokehi
    m wi
    tht
    hegunbuthest
    if
    fenshi
    sbody
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Isai
    dI’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Her
    esi
    stsmaki
    ngmeangr
    y.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,letmegoseei
    fboyboywant
    stoaccompanydaddy
    .”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Okay
    ,okay
    …”

    Ismi
    rkatashebegi
    nsmov
    ingt
    owar
    dst
    hebackdoor
    .

    “
    Baba,
    inganei
    thi
    -”

    Awomanyoungenoughtobehi
    sdaught
    ercomesrunni
    ngandscr
    eamsassheseesme
    poi
    nti
    ngagunathi
    m.Iknowshe’
    shi
    swifebecauset
    hebast
    ardonl
    yhassons.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Thul
    a.”(
    Shutup.
    )

    Hesnapsatherandshecov
    ershermout
    h.

    Me:
    “Gr
    eat
    ,themor
    ethemer
    ri
    er.Hi
    .”

    Ismi
    l
    eatherbutshedoesn’
    tret
    urni
    t.

    Me:“
    Okay ,Iseemkhul
    u’
    ssourfacehasr
    ubbedinonhiswi
    fe.Soi
    t’
    struewhatt
    heysay,a
    marr
    iedcoupleevent
    ual
    lyst
    art
    slooki
    ngal
    ike.I
    nthi
    scasey
    ouabductedeachother
    ’sper
    sonas.
    Come,joi
    nus. ”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    herey
    esal
    mostpoppi
    ngoutofherey
    esocket
    s.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Thi
    sisbet
    weenmeandy
    ouSi
    shi
    ,l
    eav
    eheroutoft
    his.
    ”

    Me:
    “Rel
    ax,
    Ijustwantt
    oint
    roducemy
    sel
    fthat
    ’sal
    l
    .Thi
    siswi
    feynumber
    ?”

    Iwai
    tforananswerwhi
    l
    egl
    ari
    ngatt
    hesweat
    ingMkhi
    ze,
    ifey
    escoul
    dki
    l
    lIwoul
    dbedeadr
    ight
    now.

    Me:
    “Hel
    pmeoutMkhi
    ze,
    I’
    m cr
    acki
    ngmybr
    ainher
    e.”

    Hedoesn’
    trespondbutcont
    inuest
    oweart
    hedeadl
    yst
    are.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    l
    ldot
    hehonour
    sthen.
    ”

    Igest
    ureMkhi
    zet
    omov
    etowar
    dshi
    swi
    fe,
    andi
    nst
    ructt
    hem t
    ost
    andwi
    tht
    hei
    rbackagai
    nst
    t
    hewal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Youmustbewi
    fenumber4?
    ”

    Sheshedstear
    sassheclenchesonhisar
    m,hedoesn’
    thol
    dherback.I
    tappear
    sthathi
    s
    fr
    ust
    rati
    onswon’tl
    ethi
    m comforther
    .

    Me:“
    No?Okay3?Whatever
    ,you’
    rewif
    enumbersomet
    hing.Damn,youli
    kethem youngdon’
    t
    youMkhi
    ze?Yougr
    eedybastar
    d,tot
    hinky
    ousti
    l
    lwantt
    oaddt oyourcol
    lect
    ion.
    ”

    Ij
    umpont
    heki
    tchen-
    Isl
    andt
    osi
    t.

    Me:“Canhestil
    lgeti
    tup?Unlessy ou’
    remarr
    iedtothemoneyandnothi m,i
    t’
    seasi
    ert
    obar
    e
    any
    thingwhenmoneyi si
    nvol
    v ed.Am Iri
    ghtwif
    ey?Takei teasywi
    tht
    heoldman,wewoul
    dn’
    t
    wanthim get
    ti
    ngaheartat
    tack.Pleaseinf
    ormy oursi
    sterwivesaswel
    l.
    ”

    Her
    :“Pl
    easest
    op.
    ”

    Shepl
    eadsast
    ear
    sst
    reakherf
    ace.Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    osayI
    ’
    m mov
    edbutIl
    eftmyemot
    ionsat
    home.

    Me:
    “Don’
    twor
    ryt
    hisi
    saf
    ri
    endl
    yvi
    sit
    .”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Uny
    il
    eSi
    shi
    .”(
    You’
    rei
    nshi
    t.
    )

    Hegr
    oans,
    aloudl
    augher
    upt
    sfr
    om mymout
    hcausi
    nghi
    swi
    fet
    oscr
    eam i
    nfr
    ight
    .

    Me:“Ah!He’
    sacomedi an.Bor
    edom mustnotknowthi
    saddress,
    withamanl i
    kehi
    m,youal
    lar
    e
    al
    waysenter
    tained.Well
    ,si
    ncewe’
    reonthetopi
    cofenter
    tai
    nment.Let
    ’scal
    lthewhol
    efami
    l
    y
    outt
    opartyshallwe?”

    Mkhi
    zecl
    encheshi
    sjaw.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Leav
    emyf
    ami
    l
    youtoft
    hisboy
    ,youwi
    l
    lregr
    ett
    hisIpr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Me:
    “Shutupandmov
    e.”

    Il
    eadt
    hem t
    othel
    eav
    ingr
    oom.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbusodroppedmeatt hegate,It
    oldhi
    m hecangoI’
    llbefi
    ne.Besi
    des,thestr
    eetsar
    est i
    l
    l
    occupi
    edwit
    hpeople.Inot
    icethatthel
    i
    ghtisst
    il
    lon,
    thisbett
    ernotbackfi
    reorI’
    l
    lbesleeping
    onthestr
    eet
    stoni
    ght.

    Iknocktwi
    ce,
    thedoorswi
    ngsopenatmysecondat
    temptt
    oknock.Hel
    ooksshockedandnot
    happytomesee.

    Me:
    “Hi
    Zuzu.
    ”
    Zuma:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    thav
    eany
    wher
    eel
    set
    ogo,
    myf
    athert
    hrewmeoutoft
    hehouse.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Andy
    out
    houghti
    tbestt
    ocomeher
    e?”

    He’sblocki
    ngt
    hedoorwayandl
    ooki
    ngatmel
    i
    keIam somemonst
    erwhocamet
    ocol
    l
    ecthi
    s
    soul.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easeZuma,
    it’
    slat
    eandy
    ou’
    remyonl
    yhope.
    ”

    Hegl
    aresatmeasi
    fconsi
    der
    ingmyr
    equest
    .

    Zuma:
    “Ei
    sh,
    Nombul
    elo.Don’
    tyouhav
    eaunt
    sorcousi
    nsar
    oundher
    e?”

    Me:
    “YouknowIdon’
    tZuma,
    Iam beggi
    ngy
    ouf
    ort
    hesakeofourbaby
    .”

    May
    beIshoul
    dn’
    thav
    esai
    dthat
    ,hi
    sfacechangest
    othatofdi
    sgust
    .

    Zuma:
    “Hey
    ,hey
    .Don’
    ttel
    lmet
    hatshi
    twenamaan.
    ”

    Heshout
    swhi
    l
    epoi
    nti
    nghi
    sfor
    efi
    ngeratme.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,fort
    hesakeofwhatweonceshar
    ed.Iknowy
    oul
    ovemeZuma,
    Ist
    il
    lmat
    tert
    oyou.
    ”

    Ther
    ewasonceat
    imewhenhewaspr
    otect
    iveofme,
    Imi
    sst
    hoseday
    s.

    Zuma:
    “Youcanst
    ayf
    ort
    heni
    ghtbutIwanty
    ougonei
    nthemor
    ning.
    ”

    Youwoul dthi
    nkmyhear tisn’
    tbrokenalready,
    Idigmynai l
    sint
    othepalm ofmyhandtryi
    ngto
    stopmyselffrom sheddi
    ngat ear.Butl
    i
    keev eryt
    hingelsei
    nmyl i
    fethi
    sal
    sodisappoi
    ntsmeas
    atearsl
    ipsdownmycheek, Isendmyhandt oquicklywipei
    toffbef
    oreheseesit
    .Iwouldhat
    e
    tohavehimt hinkIam aweakling.

    Zuma:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    ost
    andt
    her
    eandcr
    yorcomei
    n?”

    Ileerathim gr
    atef
    ull
    yashepav esawayf ormetoenter.It
    ’salmosthar dt
    obelievethatt
    hisis
    thesamemanIwasl aughingwithj
    ustaf ewdaysago,hewaski nd,compassi
    onateand
    sensiti
    ve.Now,Idon’trecogni
    zewhat’sbeforemeandit’spainfultothi
    nkIhavelosthim.How
    doIgetmyZuzuback?Thesamemanwhopr omisedtomar rymewhenhi sli
    fegetsontrack.I
    wishIknewhi sreasonf orhi
    shosti
    li
    tytowardsme.

    Zuma:
    “Si
    ncei
    t’
    scol
    dyoucan’
    tsl
    eepont
    hef
    loorsowe’
    l
    lhav
    etoshar
    ethebed.
    ”

    Myheartji
    l
    tstomychest
    .Ir
    ememberat
    imewhenweusedtoshar
    et hi
    sverysamebedlovi
    ngl
    y.
    Nowit
    ’sjustgoi
    ngt
    obetwopeopl
    ewhoonl
    ytol
    erat
    eeachot
    herbecausether
    eisnootherway
    .

    RANDALL*

    Boksbur
    gist
    oof
    arf
    rom t
    henor
    th,
    Oli
    vi
    aandherst
    ubbor
    nnesst
    hough.Ionceof
    fer
    edt
    obuy
    herahouseinRi
    v oni
    ajustsomydaughtercanbecl osetomebutsher ef
    used.Tal
    ki
    ngabout
    howshecan’tl
    eav et
    hehousesheinheri
    tedfrom herparents,andsomethi
    ngaboutmemories
    andval
    ue.Idi
    dn’tcar
    emucht ol
    ist
    enf ur
    therasherinsistencefrust
    rat
    edme.

    Myphoner
    ingswhi
    l
    eI’
    m st
    il
    ldr
    ivi
    ngorspeedi
    ngr
    ather
    ,somet
    hingmustbewr
    ongi
    fKhet
    hui
    s
    cal
    l
    ingme.

    Me:
    “Mi
    ssK?
    ”

    Wearenotbestoff
    ri
    endsbutwet
    oler
    ateeachot
    her
    ,shemakesSt
    yleshappyandI
    ’
    m gr
    atef
    ul
    t
    oherfort
    hat.

    Khethu:“
    Randal
    l,
    youhavet
    ostopSty
    les.Hewentaft
    ersomeguy
    ,nowhe’
    snotanswer
    inghi
    s
    phone.Idi
    dn’
    tli
    kethel
    ookonhisf
    acewhenheleft
    .”

    She’
    snotmaki
    ngsense.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oumeanSt
    yleswentaf
    tersomeguy
    ?Whatguy
    ?”

    Khethu:
    “Iwasat
    tackedatt
    hemal
    lthi
    saf
    ter
    noon,
    themansai
    dhewassentbyhi
    sboss,
    Mkhi
    ze
    It
    hink…”

    Ohshi
    t!
    !!

    Me:
    “Di
    dSt
    ylessaywher
    ehe’
    sgoi
    ng?
    ”

    Khethu:“
    No,heshowedmeapi
    ctur
    eoft
    hatmanont hephoneaskingi
    fIrecogni
    zedhim.Then,
    heleft
    .Hesaidhewascomi
    ngt
    omeetyou.ButIknewhewaslying,pl
    easefi
    ndhim Randal
    l.
    ”

    Me:“Don’
    tworr
    y,Iwi
    l
    l.St
    ylesisasmartman.He’
    ssmar
    tert
    hanal
    lofuscombi
    ned,
    hewoul
    dn’
    t
    doanythi
    ngt
    hatwouldputhisli
    fei
    ndanger
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ij
    ustwanthi
    m homeRandal
    l
    .”

    Shesnor
    ts.

    Me:
    “Don’
    twor
    ry,
    I’
    ll
    gethi
    mtocal
    lyou.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Thanks.
    ”

    Shedr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    .

    Ifi
    ndOliv
    iawait
    ingout
    side,
    thegat
    eisal
    readyopensoIdr
    ivei
    n.sherunstomeasIpul lover
    ,
    shelooksli
    keamess.Shehasacutli
    p,aswoll
    eneyeandafiv
    efingerpr
    intonhercheek.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Hur
    ryRandy
    ,he’
    sinsi
    de.
    ”

    Shef
    ollowsmeasIr ushbefor
    eher,weenterthrought heki
    tchen.Myhear
    tdropstomy
    st
    omachatt hegri
    slydiscov
    eryaswet ur
    nleftintothebathroom.Ist
    aggerabitasmyl
    egsf
    ail
    meinresponsetowhatmyey esseebutref
    uset obelieve.

    Thedoori
    swideopen,
    Josephi
    ssit
    ti
    ngonthef
    loorhuggi
    nghiskneestohi
    schest
    .He’s
    rocki
    nghi
    msel
    fbackandfor
    thashewat
    chesLi
    yanawho’sly
    ingli
    fel
    essonthecol
    dti
    ledfl
    oor
    .
    Oli
    v i
    ascreamsatt hesight,
    Ipullmysel
    ftogetherandrushtoLiyana.Fi
    rstthi
    ngIdoisfeelher
    pulse.It
    ’sthere,f
    aintbutthere’
    shope.Oli
    viarushesinandstartsperf
    ormingCPRonher ,
    everythi
    ngar oundmest opsasIwatchmyl it
    tl
    egirl
    ’smini
    aturebodyhangont olif
    ebyat hr
    ead.
    I’
    m notev ensureifshe’sstrongenoughtof i
    ghtorsheunderstandswhat’sgoingon.She’
    sonly
    achildandknowsnot hing.

    Joseph:
    “It
    ri
    edt
    osav
    eher
    ,It
    ri
    edt
    obr
    ingherback.
    ”

    He’
    scr
    yingashesay
    sthi
    s.Il
    osei
    tandat
    tackhi
    m.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    lst
    op.
    ”

    ShescreamsbutI
    ’m consumedbyangerandIcan’
    tst
    opasIr
    eleaseal
    lmywr
    athonhi
    m.He
    doesn’
    ttryt
    ofi
    ghtback,butt
    akesev
    eryblowIthr
    owathi
    m.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    l
    ,she’
    sawake.She’
    sawake.
    ”

    Thosewordsareenoughtost
    opme, Itur
    ntoseeheri
    nOli
    vi
    a’
    sarmscoughingandspi
    tt
    inga
    smallamountofwatert
    hatwasbl
    ockingherl
    ungs.Ir
    usht
    oherabandoni
    ngabloodi
    edJoseph
    andtakeheri
    nmyar ms.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    lhe’
    sdead,
    youki
    l
    ledhi
    m.”

    Sheshout
    sasIr
    usht
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Hebet
    terbedeadorIwi
    l
    lfi
    nishhi
    m of
    f.
    ”

    Tobecont
    inued…
    19*

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “Gety
    ourf
    ami
    l
    ydownher
    e.”

    Ii
    nstr
    uctMkhi
    zeaswereachthel
    i
    vingroom andmoti
    onfort
    hem tosi
    tonthecouch.Idon’
    t
    wanttodothi
    sbuthef
    orcedmyhand,Ioncesworet
    hatIwil
    lnev
    ergobacktothi
    s.

    Mkhi
    ze:“I
    ’
    m war
    ningy
    ouSi
    shi
    ,l
    eav
    emyf
    ami
    l
    youtofoursquabbl
    es.Thi
    shasnot
    hingt
    odo
    wi
    ththem.”

    Ismi
    rkathi
    m.

    Me:“Yougotthem i
    nvol
    vedi
    nthi
    swhenyouthreat
    enedtoki
    l
    lmywoman,
    youi
    nvi
    tedhert
    othe
    par
    tysoit
    ’sonlyf
    airIi
    nvi
    tey
    ourfami
    l
    y.Atoothforatoot
    hri
    ght
    ?”

    Hi
    swi
    fehasn’
    tst
    oppedcr
    ying.

    Me:“
    MaMkhizewouldyouki
    ndlydousthehonourofbr
    ingi
    ngt
    hef
    ami
    l
    ydownher
    e.Yoursi
    ster
    wi
    vesandt
    hekids,
    let’
    shaveChri
    stmasinJuneshal
    lwe?”

    Shel
    ooksst
    rai
    ghtatmewi
    thoutbl
    i
    nki
    ng.

    Me:
    “She’
    saf
    eist
    yoneIsee.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoudoi
    torshoul
    dIusef
    orce?
    ”

    Ii
    nqui
    rei
    nacol
    dtone,
    shebl
    i
    nksaf
    ewt
    imesbef
    oreat
    tempt
    ingt
    ost
    andup.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Hl
    alaphansi
    wena.
    ”(Si
    tdown.
    )

    Mkhizegrowl
    sather
    ,shesi
    tsbackdown.Idon’
    tmi
    sst
    heconf
    usi
    onmocki
    ngherf
    ace,
    she
    doesn’
    tknowwhotolist
    ent
    o.

    Me:
    “Oooohhhh,
    mkhul
    u.I
    ’
    m wor
    ri
    edaboutt
    hathear
    tofy
    our
    syouknow.
    ”

    Mkhize:“
    You’
    reacowar
    dSi
    shi
    ,you’
    repower
    ful
    att
    hismomentbecauseoft
    hatpi
    stol
    iny
    our
    hand.”

    Me:“
    Idon’tknowaboutt
    hatbuti
    fyousayso.Nowar
    ewecal
    l
    ingt
    hef
    ami
    l
    yornot
    ,ti
    mei
    snot
    onmyside.”

    Theygl
    areatmewi
    thnor
    esponseandt
    hatj
    ustaggr
    avat
    esmef
    urt
    her
    .

    Me:
    “OhFami
    l
    y.Comeout
    ,comeoutwher
    every
    ouar
    e.”

    Ishout,
    loudenoughformyvoicet
    oreachupst
    airs,
    Mkhizel
    ooksl
    i
    kehe’
    sreadyt
    ojumpatme
    butIknowhe’snotthatst
    upi
    dbecauseonemistakeandhe’
    sagoner
    .
    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Imi
    sjudgedy
    ouSi
    shi
    ,youar
    ecr
    azi
    ert
    hant
    hatOkol
    i
    eboy
    .”

    Me:“
    No,thi
    sisj
    ustasl
    aponthewr
    istcomparedt
    owhathe’l
    ldotoyoui
    fyouf
    ighthi
    m.Imi
    ght
    aswel
    lconveyt
    hemessagesi
    nceI
    ’
    m here,
    stayawayf
    rom Amara.
    ”

    Hesmirksatmecol
    dly
    ,thesonofabi
    tch.Thel
    ookonhi
    sfacesay
    shewon’
    tgi
    veuphi
    sev
    il
    pl
    ans.

    Ir
    eturnthesmi r
    kbefor
    eturni
    ngont her
    adi
    oandblastthev ol
    ume,somesongIdon’tcareabout
    i
    splaying.I
    ’l
    lmakehim wishhenevermetme.Ishoul
    dt akeav i
    deoforRandal
    lsohesees
    Mkhize’shel
    plessf
    ace,i
    t’
    spricel
    ess.

    Isi
    tont hecoff
    eet abl
    efacingMkhizeandhi
    sli
    tt
    lewi
    fe,
    Iguessshe’
    sgrownti
    redofcr
    ying
    becausehertearshav edr
    iedup.Inawhil
    etheMkhi
    zeclancomesrushi
    ngdownthest
    airs,
    the
    fr
    ustrat
    ionontheirfacesi
    sev i
    dent.

    IshootMkhi
    zeasidel
    ookandwi
    nkathi
    m asIst
    andup,
    hel
    ookst
    err
    if
    ied.I
    ’
    m guessi
    nghe
    knowsit
    ’saboutt
    ogodown.

    Me:“Wel
    comef
    amily
    ,thepar
    tywasstar
    ti
    ngtogetbor
    ingwi
    thouty
    ou.Guesswhat
    ?It
    ’s
    Chr
    ist
    masandSant
    ahascomebearinggif
    ts.
    ”

    Iwavethegunar
    ound,t
    heyscr
    eam ast
    heyal
    lscur
    ryinonecorner
    .Thewomenshiel
    dthe
    chi
    ldr
    en,Mkhi
    zechar
    gestowar
    dsmebutIpushhim backandhefall
    sont
    hecouch.

    Me:
    “Comecl
    oser
    .”

    Ii
    nst
    ructt
    hem.

    Withfearseemingtoparal
    yzethem,theytoddl
    etothecouchSqueezi
    ngeachotheronthef
    ive
    seater.Someofthekidssi
    tont hef
    loorri
    ghtinfr
    ontoft
    heelder
    s,Iwantt
    hem whereIcan
    cl
    earlyseethem wi
    thouthavi
    ngt ot
    urn.

    Mkhi
    zehast
    hreemor
    ewi
    vesandIl
    osecountoft
    henumberofchi
    l
    dreni
    nmyat
    temptt
    ocount
    t
    hem.

    Me:“SomanykidsKhabazel
    a?What
    ?Ar
    eyoubui
    l
    dinganat
    ion?Youwantt
    obeAbr
    aham hey
    ,
    f
    atherofnat
    ions.
    ”

    Oneofhisoldersonsgi
    ggl
    es,
    probabl
    y17y
    ear
    sofage.Mkhi
    zesi
    deey
    eshi
    m causi
    nghi
    mto
    cl
    earhi
    sthroat.

    Me:
    “Il
    i
    ket
    hisone.
    ”

    Iannouncepoi
    nti
    ngatt
    heboywho’snowbi
    ti
    nghi
    snai
    l
    s,Mkhi
    zecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue.Sensel
    ess
    fool
    ,evenhi
    skidsar
    eafr
    aidofhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Whowant
    stohearast
    ory
    ?”

    Ipr
    oposet
    othef
    ami
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sagr
    eatone,
    you’
    l
    llov
    eit
    .”
    Ipusht
    hecof
    feet
    abl
    ebackt
    oaccommodat
    emyl
    ongl
    egs,
    Ineedt
    obecomf
    ort
    abl
    efort
    his.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whatar
    eyoupl
    ayi
    ngatboy
    ?”

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    lfi
    ndout
    .”

    Hecl
    encheshi
    sjawasIgr
    inathi
    m.

    Onceuponat imether
    ewasamanbyt henameofBangi zweMkhize,hewasajunki
    eandwoul
    d
    stealf
    rom hi
    smotherjusttogethi
    snextf
    ix.OnedayBangizwedecidedt
    oslaught
    erhi
    spoor
    vulner
    abl
    emot her
    ,hetatt
    ooedherbodywithmult
    ipl
    estabwounds.”

    MKhi
    ze:
    “Si
    shi
    !!
    !”

    Her
    oarswhi
    l
    eshi
    ft
    ingunner
    vingl
    yont
    hecouch,
    hemov
    est
    otheedgeoft
    heseatal
    mostr
    eady
    t
    ostand.

    Ichuckl
    eathi
    sshockedf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Howmanyst
    abwoundswer
    ether
    eMkhul
    u?If
    orgot
    .”

    Hechar
    gesatme,Ishootathi
    m bet
    weenhisfeetandev
    eryonescr
    eams.Notl
    ongaf
    ter
    ,the
    housei
    sfi
    l
    ledwi
    thsoundsofweeping.Thi
    sfamil
    yisget
    ti
    ngonmyner v
    es.

    Me:
    “Ev
    ery
    bodypl
    easeshutup?
    ”

    Theysupr
    esst
    hei
    rcr
    iesex
    ceptf
    ort
    hesmal
    lchi
    l
    dren.

    Me:“I
    fyourhusbandmov esagai
    n,Iwi
    l
    lbl
    owev
    ery
    one’
    sbr
    ainsof
    f.Iwasst
    il
    ltel
    l
    ingast
    oryand
    Ihat
    ebeingint
    errupt
    ed.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Pl
    easeSi
    shi
    ,you’
    reagoodman.Don’
    ttur
    nint
    oOkol
    i
    e,he’
    sapsy
    chobutnoty
    ou-
    ”

    Me:
    “Ohst
    opki
    ssi
    ngmyassMkhi
    ze,
    it’
    sdi
    stur
    bing.
    ”

    Icuthi
    m of
    f.

    Mkhize:“
    Ngi
    yakucel
    aSishi,
    don’tt
    ell
    t hem aboutthat.Youaretr
    aumati
    zi
    ngmyf ami
    ly,i
    ngan’
    zami.Howwil
    ltheyl
    ookatmeaf t
    erthis?Ratherkil
    lmeSi shi
    .Ngi
    bul
    aleonce.
    ”(I
    ’
    m begging
    you…mychil
    dren…ratherki
    llme)

    Hepl
    eads,
    Iwoul
    dlov
    etosayt
    hatIf
    eel
    sor
    ryf
    orhi
    m butdamn,
    I’
    m enj
    oyi
    ngt
    his.

    Me:
    “Oh!Howt
    hemi
    ght
    yhav
    efal
    l
    en.
    ”

    Hest
    art
    edaf
    ir
    ebutcan’
    tst
    andt
    heheat
    .

    Me:“
    Deathwil
    lbeaneasyescapef
    ory
    ouMkhi
    ze.Don’
    tst
    ress,
    Ihav
    ebet
    terpl
    ansf
    ory
    ou.You
    ar
    egoingtol
    oveit
    .”

    Idecl
    arewi
    thasl
    ygr
    in.

    “
    Mfanawam’ ay
    il
    ungi
    l
    elentooy
    enzayo.Usasemncanendodana,Uy
    amazi
    unkul
    unkul
    upho?
    (
    Thi
    sisnotr
    ightmyboy,youar
    esti
    ll
    y oung.DoyouknowGod? )
    I
    ’
    m guessingt
    hismustbethef
    ir
    stwi
    fe,
    shel
    ooksol
    dert
    hant
    heot
    hert
    hreeandshe’
    sseat
    ed
    r
    ightnextt
    oherhusband.

    Me:“Lal
    elalasalukazi.Iam noty
    ourboy
    ,andbeforey
    out r
    ytoeducatemeaboutGod.Rather
    st
    artwit
    hy ourhusband, unl
    essyouknowaboutall
    ofhisevi
    ldeeds.Ni
    zoshay
    azi.
    ”(Li
    stenher
    e
    ol
    dwoman…Youwi l
    lburn.)

    Theyl
    ookshockedbymyr
    etor
    t,somet
    hingt
    ell
    smet
    heywer
    enotexpect
    ingmet
    ospeakZul
    u.

    Me:“
    Tell
    megogo,whathappenedtoyoursi
    sterwi
    fe?Youknowtheonewhocameaf t
    eryou?
    Shewasyourbl
    oodsi
    sterr
    ightandyouhat
    edherbecauseyouhadtoshar
    eahusband?”

    Herey
    esexpandi
    nhor
    ror
    .Byt
    hel
    ookonMkhi
    ze’
    sface,
    heknowswhat
    ’scomi
    ng.

    Me:“
    So,y
    ouhelpedthi
    sfool
    i
    shthi
    ngyoucall
    ahusbandt
    ocov eruphermurder
    .Heki
    l
    ledhi
    s
    wi
    feandyoudugthegrav
    eandputheri
    n.Imean,
    youmightaswellhave.
    ”

    Her
    :“Hay
    ii
    i,
    hay
    ii
    i.
    ”

    Shescreamsinagonyandcover
    sherearsasshecan’
    tbeart
    het
    rut
    h.Funnyt
    hingaboutt
    he
    tr
    uth,
    it’
    sthemostpurethi
    ngbutcandest
    royl
    ives.

    Theot
    herwi
    vesbur
    sti
    ntosobsatt
    hement
    ionoft
    hehor
    ri
    fi
    cnews.

    Me:
    “Howdoy
    ousl
    eepatni
    ght
    ?”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ung’
    funani
    wemf
    anandi
    ni?
    ”(Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom meboy
    ?)

    Hey
    ell
    s.

    Me:
    “Mkhul
    us,
    I’
    mjustget
    ti
    ngst
    art
    ed.Phol
    a,mkhul
    u,phol
    ababa.
    ”(Rel
    axOl
    dman)

    Icantel
    ltheki
    dshavehadenough,t
    heycan’tstandbeingher
    eanymore.Twoofthem aret
    oo
    youngtounderst
    andwhat’
    sgoingon,astheysitontheirmot
    her
    ’sl
    apssucki
    ngtheirf
    inger
    s.
    Theolderoneshaveki
    l
    ledmewi t
    htheirgl
    ares.

    Me:“Thepart
    yisov
    erf
    ami
    l
    y,Ihav
    egi
    venoutgi
    ft
    s.Now,
    Sant
    ahast
    ogobackbuthe’
    staki
    ng
    daddywit
    h.”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Heroars,st
    art
    li
    ngt
    hechi
    l
    dren.They
    oungeronesr
    esumet
    hei
    rcr
    yingsessi
    ons.I
    ’
    m get
    ti
    nga
    headache.

    Ei
    therway
    ,Il
    aughatMkhi
    ze’
    sri
    post
    e,whi
    l
    edi
    ggi
    ngf
    orsomet
    hingi
    nmypocket
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    ref
    unnyMkhul
    u,Tr
    evorNoahhasgotcompet
    it
    ionher
    ehey
    .”

    Hecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongueshoot
    ingmeadeadl
    yst
    are.

    Me:
    “Youseet
    hisMkhi
    ze?Thi
    swi
    l
    lhel
    pthem sl
    eeppeacef
    ull
    y.
    ”

    Ihol
    dupagl
    asst
    ubewi
    thbl
    uel
    i
    qui
    dinsi
    de.
    Hej
    erksup,
    shockv
    isi
    bleonhi
    sface.

    Me:“
    Thisi
    smybestdi
    scov
    erysof
    ar,
    youseet
    hischemi
    cal
    isl
    ethal
    .Justonecr
    ack,
    thenpoof
    ,
    i
    t’
    sbyebyefami
    l
    y.”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Yoh!
    !!Ungenzani
    lomf
    ana?
    ”(Whati
    sthi
    sboydoi
    ngt
    ome?
    )

    Me:
    “Unf
    ort
    unat
    ely
    ,thi
    sisf
    ort
    hewi
    vesandki
    ds”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “St
    oppl
    ayi
    ngt
    hesegamesSi
    shi
    ,youdon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    redoi
    ng.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksl
    i
    keacr
    azyper
    sonr
    ightnow,
    thi
    sisexact
    lywhatIwant
    ed.Forhi
    mtol
    osehi
    smi
    nd.

    Me:“
    Idon’
    tplay‘
    house’
    Mkhize,
    youinvi
    tedmet
    ocomepl
    aysoher
    eIam.Thi
    sisagr
    own
    man’
    ssportbuty
    ou’r
    ebori
    ngmet odeath.
    ”

    Ii
    nfor
    m hi
    m asIt
    aket
    wogasmasksf
    rom mybackpack,
    Ihandi
    ttohi
    m.Het
    akesi
    thesi
    tant
    ly.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whati
    sthi
    sfor
    ?”

    Me:
    “You’
    reol
    denough,
    figur
    eitout
    .”

    Ihav
    ewast
    edenought
    ime,
    hel
    ooksati
    tli
    kei
    t’
    sgoi
    ngt
    oswal
    l
    owhi
    m al
    i
    ve.

    Me:
    “Puti
    tonOl
    dman.Shoul
    dIgui
    dey
    out
    hroughev
    ery
    thi
    ng?
    ”

    Hehesi
    tat
    esabi
    tbut
    ,gr
    udgi
    ngl
    ywear
    sitwi
    thoutat
    houghtt
    oit
    .

    Me:“Sorr
    yfami
    ly,
    itl
    ooksl
    i
    ket
    hemanoft
    hehousehaschosenhi
    msel
    fov
    ery
    ou.I
    twasni
    ce
    knowingyoual
    l
    .”

    Il
    ookatthem asconf
    usi
    onprocl
    aimswarwi
    tht
    hem, t
    heyhav
    en’
    tgr
    aspedwhat
    ’sr
    eal
    l
    y
    happeni
    ngandwhyIhavethi
    schemical
    inmyhand.

    Istr
    apmymaskonbef oresmashingthegl
    asstubeonthefl
    oorandsmokeemergesf
    rom the
    bluechemical
    .Thehouseisfi
    ll
    edwithagoni
    zi
    ngscreamsast hefamil
    yst
    andsupi
    nattemptsto
    runbutareknockedoutbefor
    etheycouldt
    akeanotherst
    ep.I
    tdiesoutal
    mosti
    mmediatel
    y,
    Mkhizefal
    lsonhiskneesandweepslikeachil
    d.Ismir
    kathim asIremov
    emygasmask.

    Me:
    “Remov
    ethatt
    hing,
    youl
    ookr
    idi
    cul
    ous.
    ”

    Hetakesi
    tof
    f,wi
    thhisheadst
    il
    lbowed,hi
    sshoul
    dersconv
    ulsi
    ngashecr
    iessi
    l
    ent
    ly.Iam not
    donewit
    hthi
    sidi
    ot.Hei
    sgoingtowishhenevermetme.

    RANDALL*

    Oli
    vi
    afol
    lowedmeoutoft hehouseleavi
    ngherboyf
    ri
    endbehind,Idon’
    tknowaboutthestate
    he’
    sinandIdon’
    tcar
    e.Itwasar el
    i
    efwhenIsawherr ushoutofthehouse,i
    twouldhurtLi
    yana
    i
    fsheweretofi
    ndoutthathermotherchoseamanov erher.Ol
    iv
    iahasn’tst
    oppedcryi
    ngsince
    Li
    yanawasrushedi
    ntotheER.Iseet hedoct
    orappr
    oachingandmeethim halfway,
    hespeaks
    bef
    oreIcoul
    daskany
    thi
    ng.

    “Yourdaughteri
    sfi
    nesi
    r,y
    oubr
    oughtheri
    njusti
    nti
    me.I
    t’
    sagoodt
    hingy
    ouper
    for
    medCPRon
    herorelse-
    ”

    Thedoct
    ori
    nfor
    msus.

    Bei
    ngi
    nthi
    swai
    ti
    ngr
    oom andnotknowi
    ngwhat
    ’shappeni
    nghasbeenut
    tert
    ort
    ure.

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    oseeher
    .”

    Icuthi
    m of
    f,I
    ’
    m noti
    nter
    est
    edi
    nhear
    ingt
    henegat
    ives.

    Doct
    or:
    “Sur
    e,y
    oucanbot
    hseeher
    .”

    Hei
    nfor
    msbef orehewal
    ksaway,
    I’
    m abouttol
    osemycoolandmypat
    iencehasal
    readybeen
    t
    est
    edtoday
    .Ifthiswomanf
    oll
    owsmei nthatr
    oom,Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    l her
    .

    Shemov
    eswi
    thmef
    orci
    ngmet
    ost
    op.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ngOl
    i
    via?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    lpl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wast
    hissomesi
    ckpl
    anofy
    our
    sOl
    i
    via?Youandt
    hatbast
    ardpl
    annedt
    oki
    l
    lmydaught
    er.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “What
    ?No.Howcoul
    dyouaskmet
    hat
    ?”

    Me:“Youl
    i
    edthatt
    hedoorwasl
    ocked,
    itwasbl
    oodyopenOl
    i
    via.Ar
    eyouf
    ucki
    ngt
    ryi
    ngt
    o
    col
    l
    ectonheri
    nsur
    ance?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “OhcomeonRandal
    l
    ,youwat
    cht
    oomuchTV.
    ”

    Igr
    abherhandandshewi
    ncesi
    npai
    n.

    Me:“Don’
    tfucki
    ngtel
    lmeshitwoman.Ar
    eyout
    hatdesper
    atef
    ort
    henextf
    ixt
    haty
    ouwoul
    d
    sacr
    if
    iceyourdaught
    er’
    sli
    fe?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “You’
    rei
    nsul
    ti
    ngmeRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Ihav
    en’
    tev
    enbegunt
    oinsul
    tyou.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    ll
    etgo,
    you’
    rehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”

    Shesnat
    chesherhandaway
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Iam notadr
    ugaddi
    ct.
    ”

    Me:“I
    ’mt aki
    ngmychi l
    dOl i
    vi
    a,Idon’
    tcarewhathappenstoyou.Li
    yanaistheonlyr
    easonyou’
    re
    st
    il
    lstandingher
    eafterthatshi
    tyoupull
    ed.I
    fyoudaretryt
    ofightme,Iwil
    lexposeyou.Andyou
    wi
    llneverseethatgi
    rlagain.
    ”

    Todayhasbeenhect
    ic,f
    irstAmaraescapesandnowmyl i
    ttl
    egir
    lisl
    yi
    nginahospi
    talbed.
    Ever
    ythi
    ngisover
    whelmingandIknowexact l
    ywhatwi
    llappeaseme,thepl
    ani
    storushhome
    andcatchagli
    mpseofher .Onl
    yshecanbringmethepeaceIneed,j
    ustbei
    ngi
    nherpr esence.
    Thisiswhatmymindhasbeendoingl
    atel
    y,get
    ti
    ngl
    osti
    nthought
    sofAmar
    a.Sheconsumes
    everyfi
    breofmybei
    ngandther
    e’snot
    hingIcandot
    ostopit
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    l
    !!!
    ”

    Ol
    i
    vianudgesmeandmyspi
    ri
    tdr
    opsatt
    hesi
    ghtofher
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Youzonedout
    ?”

    Me:
    “May
    beIdon’
    twanty
    out
    alki
    ngt
    ome.
    ”

    Isnap.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Wel
    l
    ,whet
    hery
    ouwantt
    ospeakt
    omeornot
    .Pl
    ease,
    lookwher
    eyou’
    redr
    ivi
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m doi
    ngy
    ouaf
    avourbydr
    oppi
    ngy
    ouhome,
    soshutupanddon’
    ttel
    lmehowt
    odr
    ive.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esatme.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whatt
    imewi
    l
    lyougot
    othehospi
    tal
    tomor
    row?SoIknowwhent
    ober
    eady
    .”

    Shecannotbeser
    ious.

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    ldr
    ivey
    our
    sel
    ftot
    hehospi
    tal
    Oli
    vi
    a.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Mycarbr
    okedownRandal
    landIcan’
    taf
    for
    dtof
    ixi
    t.
    ”

    Me:“
    Well
    ,maybeify
    oudidn’
    tgi
    vet
    hemoneyIsendy
    out
    othatl
    oserboy
    fri
    endofy
    our
    s,y
    ou
    woul
    dn’
    tbei
    nthisdi
    lemma.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Thati
    snotf
    air
    .”

    Me:
    “Li
    fei
    snotf
    air
    ,lookatme.Ihav
    etot
    oler
    atey
    oumywhol
    eli
    febecauseofmydaught
    er.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youknowshe’
    smydaught
    ert
    oo,
    ithur
    tsmewheny
    our
    efert
    oherasonl
    yyour
    s.”

    Il
    ookatherbr
    ief
    lybef
    oretaki
    ngmyeyesbackt
    other
    oad.Thet
    hingswedoi
    nthi
    swor
    ld.Ican’
    t
    bel
    iev
    eIhadachildwi
    ththiswoman.

    I
    ’
    m sav
    edbyKhet
    hu’
    sphonecal
    l
    .

    Shewil
    lwanttoknowifIhavespokent
    oSt y
    les,Ihav
    enoanswer
    sforherr
    ightnow.Iknow
    she’
    sagit
    atedbut
    ,IhavetospeaktoSt
    ylesfi
    rst
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Won’
    tyouanswert
    hat
    ?”

    Ii
    gnor
    eherasIdr
    iveon.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Isi
    toneofy
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iends?Tr
    oubl
    einpar
    adi
    se?
    ”

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyout
    alki
    ngt
    omeOl
    i
    via?Youar
    enotoutoft
    hewoodsy
    et.
    ”

    I
    t’
    sagoodt
    hingwear
    eher
    e.Ipar
    katt
    hegat
    eandwai
    tforhert
    ogetout
    .
    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Thanks,
    I’
    ll
    seey
    out
    omor
    row?
    ”

    Whyi
    sshest
    il
    li
    nmycar
    ?

    Me:“Iwantt
    hati
    dioti
    njai
    lbyt
    omor r
    owmor ni
    ng,Idon’
    tcarehowy
    oudoi
    t.Andy
    ouknow
    bet
    terthant
    ochal
    lengemeOli
    via.Nowgetoutofmycar .
    ”

    Ical
    lSt
    ylesasIpul
    loutanddr
    iveof
    f.

    St
    yles:
    “Randy
    ”

    Hesoundshappy
    .

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Taki
    ngadr
    ivewi
    thMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngSt
    yles?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Hav
    ingf
    un.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notki
    ddi
    ngSt
    yles,
    abor
    tmi
    ssi
    onnow.Thi
    sisnothowwedot
    hings.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Sor
    ryRandal
    l
    ,thesheepi
    ssai
    l
    ing.Ther
    eisnot
    urni
    ngbacknow,
    tel
    lhi
    m Mkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Thi
    sdemonki
    l
    ledmyf
    ami
    l
    y,hef
    ucki
    ngki
    l
    ledmyf
    ami
    l
    y.”

    Mkhi
    zeshout
    s,hi
    ssor
    rowf
    il
    ledv
    oicepenet
    rat
    ingt
    hrought
    hephone.

    St
    yles:
    “Hey
    ,lesst
    alki
    ngandmor
    edr
    ivi
    ngmkhul
    u.”

    Hi
    svoi
    cesoundssocol
    dthatIf
    indi
    thar
    dtor
    ecogni
    zehi
    m.

    Me:
    “Whathav
    eyoudoneSt
    yles?
    ”

    Myv
    oiceal
    mostcomesoutasawhi
    sper
    ,Ihearhi
    mlaughi
    ngl
    i
    kei
    t’
    sfunny
    .

    Me:“St
    yleswhathav
    eyoudoneman?It
    houghty
    ouwer
    edonewi
    tht
    hatl
    i
    fe.Wedon’
    tki
    l
    l
    i
    nnocentpeopl
    eStyl
    es.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Ther
    e’snot
    hingi
    nnocentaboutt
    hisbaboonRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Hi
    sfami
    l
    ybr
    uh,
    hisf
    ami
    l
    ywasi
    nnocent
    .Dammi
    t!Whathav
    eyoudone?
    ”

    Ishout
    ,I’
    m mor
    eaf
    rai
    dthanangr
    y.

    I
    tal
    mostfeel
    sli
    keadr
    eam.No,
    Sty
    lescoul
    dn’
    thav
    eunr
    avel
    l
    ed.Howdi
    dInotseet
    hiscomi
    ng?
    Thi
    sisf
    uckedup.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    20*

    RANDALL*

    I’
    m atalossforwor
    ds,honest
    ly.Howam Igoi
    ngtofi
    xthi
    s?Howwil
    lIbr
    ingmyfri
    endback
    fr
    om thisdar
    knesshehasfall
    eninto?I
    twasn’
    teasyl
    astt
    imeandI
    ’
    m notsur
    eifhewil
    l
    essent
    iall
    ycomeback.

    If
    eel
    apangofgui
    l
    tasitdawnsonmet hatIam responsibl
    eforall
    oft
    his,
    myobsessi
    onf
    or
    Amar
    ahasbi
    rt
    hedter
    ri
    bleresul
    ts.May
    beIshouldn’thavepursuedmydesir
    e.

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    Iwanty
    out
    omeetmeatmyhousenow.Weneedt
    ofi
    ndawayf
    orwar
    d.”

    St
    yles:
    “Andy
    ousayI
    ’
    mthesensi
    ti
    veone.Rel
    axRandal
    l
    .”

    Thi
    sishi
    sat
    temptt
    opi
    ssmeof
    f.

    Me:
    “Af
    terwhaty
    oudi
    d,y
    ouar
    etel
    l
    ingmet
    orel
    ax?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Theyar
    enotdead.
    ”

    Heshout
    s.

    Wai
    t!What
    ?

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”

    Heasksscept
    ical
    l
    y.

    St
    yles:
    “Yes,
    Mkhi
    ze.Yourf
    ami
    l
    yisv
    erymuchal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Hesoundsr
    eassur
    ingt
    hatIal
    mostbel
    i
    evehi
    m,butIdon’
    ttr
    ustt
    hest
    atehe’
    sin.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Buthow?Isawt
    hem.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisnot
    imef
    orj
    okesSt
    yles.
    ”

    Iy
    elp,
    net
    tl
    edbyhi
    sdr
    yst
    upi
    djokes.

    St
    yles:
    “YouknowmeRandall
    ,Ipr
    omi
    sednevert
    ogobacktot
    hatperson.ThatIwoul
    dfi
    ghthi
    m
    wi
    theveryt
    hingi
    nme.Idi
    dn’
    tgotoMkhi
    ze’
    shousewi
    ththei
    ntentt
    okill
    hisfamil
    y.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Butt
    hesmoke,
    theycol
    l
    apsedal
    loft
    hem.
    ”

    Styles:“YouknowIdidn’thavethepri
    vi
    legetogotopromi
    nentschools,Iwenttoaschooli
    n
    Jobur g.Centur
    ionColl
    egeinJoubertPark,ev
    erhear
    dofit
    ?Anyway ,
    therewer epost
    ers
    plasteredaroundtheschool.Withev
    eryturnyou’
    dberemi
    ndedthat‘schooliscool
    ,stayat
    school ’Iadher
    ed.That
    ’swhyI ’
    vegotbrai
    ns.”

    Tr
    ustSt
    ylest
    ogoof
    ftr
    ackatat
    imel
    i
    ket
    his.Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sheonaboutnow?
    ”
    Me:
    “Gett
    othepoi
    ntman.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Styl
    es:“ThechemicalIusedi
    snotl
    ethal
    ,i
    tjustputthem tosleepthat
    ’sal
    l
    .Andli
    stenMkhize,
    you’
    lll
    ovethispar
    t.Theywon’tr
    ememberany t
    hingthattookplacetoni
    ght
    .They’
    reprobabl
    y
    awakebynow, all
    ofthiswasdonetotor
    menty ou.Besides,y
    ourkidsaresoador
    able?”

    Hel
    aughs.

    I
    ’
    m done,
    I’
    m speechl
    ess.

    Ij
    ustwantt
    ogohomeandbewi
    thmysweetAmar
    a.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youar
    eev
    ilSi
    shi
    .”

    Me:
    “Ar
    esur
    eSt
    yles?Idon’
    tknowwi
    thy
    ouany
    mor
    e.”

    St
    yles:
    “Mkhi
    zecal
    lthem i
    fyoul
    i
    ke.
    ”

    Ther
    e’sabi
    tofsil
    encebefor
    eIhearMkhizegasp,i
    t’
    soverpoweredbyexcit
    ement
    .He’
    sact
    ual
    l
    y
    havi
    ngaconver
    sati
    onwithhiswif
    e,I’
    m notafanoftheguyandIloathehi
    m.But,
    Iwoul
    dn’
    twi
    sh
    deat
    huponhisfamil
    y.I
    t’
    snotthei
    rfaultt
    hatt
    heyhavehim asthei
    rleader
    .

    St
    yles:
    “SeeIt
    oldy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youneedpr
    ayer
    sbr
    uh,
    youar
    eonef
    uckedupf
    ool
    .”

    Hel
    aughs,
    thi
    sidi
    oti
    slaughi
    ngaf
    termessi
    ngwi
    thourmi
    ndsl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “So,
    wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    nghi
    m?”

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    twor
    ryabouti
    tRandy
    ,Mkhi
    zeandIar
    egoi
    ngt
    ohav
    esomef
    un.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    gohomet
    oKhet
    hu.She’
    swor
    ri
    edsi
    ck.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Khet
    hui
    sfi
    ne.
    ”

    Hedropsthecall
    denyingmeachancetospeaksomesensei nt
    ohi mfur
    ther.Wit
    hinabatofan
    ey
    e,Iam submergedbyawavepent-upfr
    ust
    rat
    ions.Thi
    sfr
    iendofmi nehasmanagedt omake
    meangry,conf
    used,annoy
    edandrel
    ievedwi
    thi
    naspaceofl essthan10mi nut
    es.

    Styl
    esSishihasal waysbeent hev oiceofreasonwhil
    eIwast heonewhobl ewt hingsoutof
    propor
    ti
    on, actedwithoutthinkingandhav emydesiresdevourme.IguessIwoul dreactthe
    sameifAmar ahadcomet hi
    scloset obeingki
    ll
    ed.Butnever
    thel
    ess,Iam disgruntl
    edwi t
    hthe
    wayhehasdeal twit
    ht hings.It
    ’scarelessofhimtogointowaralone,Mkhize’sbrotherswil
    l
    rai
    sehelloncet heyfi
    ndoutaboutt hisandpeacewi l
    lceaset
    oexistforusasanunendi ngwar
    will
    emergef rom thi
    sdi spute.

    Ioptedtodri
    vet
    oPr et
    ori
    afrom t
    hemomentStylesci
    tedthatMkhi
    ze’
    sfamil
    yissti
    l
    lali
    ve,
    Ihav
    e
    toseeformysel
    f.Normall
    yIwouldsendsomeonebutify
    ouwantthingsdoneri
    ght,y
    ouhavet
    o
    dothem your
    sel
    f.
    Igett
    heretofi
    ndthegatecl
    osed,
    itwon’
    tbeeasyt
    ogetin.Pl
    us,i
    t’
    salmostmi dni
    ght,an
    i
    nappropr
    iat
    etimetoknocki
    ntosomeone’
    shome.Thel
    ightsareonthough.Thatshouldbe
    somethi
    ng.

    Ideci
    detori
    ngthei
    ntercom.Imustnotbet
    hinki
    ngst
    rai
    ghtbut
    ,Iwon’
    tbeabl
    etor
    esti
    fmy
    uncer
    tai
    nti
    esar
    enotcleared.

    “
    Yebo.
    ”

    Av
    oiceofay
    oungmanechoest
    hrought
    hespeaker
    .

    Me:
    “Hi
    .Isy
    ourf
    atherhome?
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    No,
    he’
    snotar
    oundatt
    hemoment
    .Whoi
    sthi
    s?”

    Shoul
    dhebeaski
    nganadul
    tthat
    ?

    Me:
    “Af
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Icr
    ingeatt
    het
    hought
    .

    “
    Who’
    scal
    l
    ingatt
    hist
    imeoft
    heni
    ght
    ?”

    Af
    emal
    evoi
    ceshout
    sint
    hebackgr
    ound.

    That
    ’smycue.

    St
    yles,
    yousonofabi
    tch.

    Ihav
    etosay
    ,I’
    m ent
    hral
    l
    edbyt
    hewayhi
    smi
    ndwor
    ks.

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “Mommywe’
    rehome.
    ”

    Ishoutaswewal kthroughtheki
    tchendoor.Mkhizewant
    edtoturnbackwhenhenoti
    cedwe
    wereheadedtoKliptown,Icoul
    dalsotel
    lbythelookonhi
    sfacethathehadnoideawhat
    soev
    er
    aboutthedest
    inati
    on.

    Me:“
    Doy ourecognizethi
    splace?Itsmommy ’
    shouse,alt
    houghit’
    sabitunr
    ecognizabl
    edueto
    t
    heblackdust,cr
    umbl edwal
    lsandcharredf
    urnit
    ure.ThatboyBangizwewasfuckedup.Can
    youi
    maginehet r
    iedtohideevidencebybur
    ningthehousedown?Imanagedt ofixthel
    ight
    s
    t
    hough.”

    Hedoesn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngashehashi
    sey
    esscanni
    nghi
    ssur
    roundi
    ngs.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    easur
    pri
    sef
    ory
    ou,
    let
    ’smov
    etot
    hel
    i
    vingr
    oom shal
    lwe?
    ”

    Ipushhi
    m ashedr
    agshi
    sfeet
    ,Ihav
    enev
    erseent
    hismansodef
    encel
    essbef
    ore.

    Hegaspsandr
    eel
    sbackt
    othepoi
    ntofal
    mostf
    all
    i
    ng,
    behol
    dingt
    hescenebef
    orehi
    m.He
    st
    if
    lesasobt
    hat
    ’sst
    oppedbyhi
    shandsmashi
    ngagai
    nsthi
    smout
    h.

    Me:“
    Ithoughti
    twouldbeniceifwewentdownmemoryl
    ane.So,Igat
    heredpict
    uresofyouand
    mommyandwel l,
    plast
    eri
    ngthem ont
    hewallwasn’
    tmyi
    dea.I’
    dli
    ketotakethecredi
    tfort
    his
    wor
    kthough.”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whydi
    dyoubr
    ingmeher
    e?”

    Hi
    svoicebreaks,
    Iseet
    hepainIwashopi
    ngt
    oinf
    li
    cti
    nhi
    m.I
    t’
    sther
    eandnowIseet
    hat
    ev
    ery
    thingIdidwaswort
    hit
    .

    Me:
    “It
    oldy
    ou,
    abl
    astt
    othepast
    .Nowmov
    eandsi
    tont
    hatchai
    r.
    ”

    Ist
    raphishandsandlegsonametalchai
    r,i
    t’
    samazi
    ngthethi
    ngsy
    oucandowheny ouhavea
    guninyourhand.Hi
    sey eshav
    en’
    tst
    oppedscanni
    ngthepi
    ctur
    esonthewal
    l
    ,heappearst
    obe
    tor
    mentedbyhispastdemons.

    Thisi
    swhywearehere,t
    hismomentr
    ighther
    e.Thatl
    ooki
    nhi
    sey
    es.Iwanthi
    mtor
    emember
    thi
    sfort
    her
    estofhi
    slif
    e.

    Mkhize:“
    Awungazi
    Sishi
    ,Iknowpeopl
    ewhowi
    l
    lmakey
    ourl
    i
    feani
    ght
    mar
    e.”(
    Youar
    e
    underest
    imat
    ingme.)

    Hethr
    eatensasIfi
    nishbi
    ndi
    nghim,hischest
    ybreat
    hingv
    eri
    fyi
    nghi
    sexhaust
    ionduet
    othe
    ev
    entsthathadt
    akenplacei
    nthelastfewhours.

    Me:“Youmeant hosewit
    chdoct
    orsyoudancewithatnight
    ?I’
    m notafrai
    dofthem.Alloft
    hat
    mumboj umboisint
    hestat
    eofthemind,
    everheardofthel
    awofat t
    racti
    on?Youatt
    ractwhat
    youthinkaboutthemost
    .MarawhyMkhize?Whydi dyouhavetorubmeof ft
    hewrongway ?I
    hat
    et hisper
    sonIhavebecome.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksuncomf
    ort
    abl
    eandsqui
    rmsonhi
    schai
    r.

    Me:“
    Ihavetogo,seeing,y
    oudon’
    thaveanswersf
    orme.Yougett
    oli
    ve,i
    t’
    syourl
    uckyday
    Mkhi
    ze.Youshouldbuskonthesebeaut
    if
    ulpi
    ctur
    eswhi
    lewewaitf
    orthesuntocomeup.It
    wasfunwhil
    eitl
    asted.”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ar
    eyoul
    ett
    ingmel
    i
    ve,
    justl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”

    Me:
    “Unl
    essy
    oupr
    eferot
    her
    wise?
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “You’
    reacowar
    daf
    teral
    l
    .”

    Hi
    swor
    dshav
    emer
    aisemyey
    ebr
    owsi
    namazement
    .

    Me:“
    Wow, yousti
    l
    lgotball
    saf
    terwhatyouwentt
    hrought
    oday
    ?It
    houghty
    oul
    ostt
    hem al
    ong
    wi
    thyourdi
    gnit
    ywheny ouweptl
    ikeababy.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:“Youdoknowyouri
    skedital
    lbybr
    ingi
    ngmehere,
    Iownthi
    spl
    aceSi
    shi
    .Youwon’
    t
    makeitt
    il
    ldawn,y
    ourbodywil
    lbelay
    ingonthest
    reet
    sbymorni
    ng.
    ”

    Thi
    sol
    dgeezerhasmanagedt
    ocr
    ackmeupt
    oday
    ,he’
    scer
    tai
    nlyaf
    unnyman.Iwal
    kar
    ound
    hi
    m sl
    owl
    y.

    Me:“
    Myr easonf
    orsteppi
    ngint
    oyourterr
    it
    oryMkhi
    zewastoshowyout
    hatIam daunt
    ing.Ask
    t
    hatnephewofyour
    sy ousentt
    odoy ourdir
    tywor
    k,t
    hat
    ’si
    fhe’
    ssti
    l
    lal
    iv
    e.”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whatdi
    dyoudot
    ohi
    m?”

    Me:
    “Idel
    i
    ver
    edhi
    mtohi
    senemi
    esonasi
    l
    verpl
    att
    er,
    they
    ’l
    ldowi
    thhi
    m whatt
    heyseef
    it
    .”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youbet
    terr
    unboyandmakesur
    eIdon’
    tfi
    ndy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:“
    Goodni
    ghtmkhul
    u,andyoucanscream al
    lyoul
    i
    ke.Noonewi
    l
    lcomet
    oyourr
    escue,
    you
    mi
    ghtgetl
    uckyi
    nthemorni
    ngthough.
    ”

    RANDALL*

    “
    Wher
    ehav
    eyoubeenUze?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m shockedbyChi
    oma’
    squest
    ionandwhyi
    sshest
    il
    lawakeatt
    hist
    imeoft
    heni
    ght
    .

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyousi
    tt
    ingi
    nthedar
    k?”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Iwaswai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Sheget
    supfrom t
    hecouchandtoddl
    est
    owar
    dsme,
    Idon’
    tunder
    standt
    hepur
    poseofher
    want
    ingknowaboutmywhereabout
    s.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngonChi
    oma?I
    sitAmar
    a?Di
    dsomet
    hinghappent
    oher
    ?”

    Ican’
    tev
    enl
    etmy
    sel
    fent
    ert
    aint
    hought
    sofherbei
    nghur
    t.

    Chi
    oma:
    “She’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”

    Sheaf
    fi
    rms,
    looki
    ngupatme.

    Me:“
    Okaythen,
    whati
    sthi
    s?Whyar
    eyouquest
    ioni
    ngme?Si
    ncewhendoy
    ouaskaboutmy
    wher
    eabout
    s?”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Si
    ncey
    oubr
    oughtt
    hatpoori
    nnocentgi
    rli
    ntot
    hishouseandaskedmet
    olookaf
    ter
    her
    .”

    Me:
    “Yourpoi
    nti
    sChi
    oma?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “You’
    renev
    erar
    ound,
    Amar
    aishar
    dwor
    kUze-
    ”

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouhav
    eapr
    obl
    em wi
    thher
    ,theny
    ou’
    rewel
    comet
    oleav
    e.”

    Shef
    urr
    owsherbr
    ows,
    Iseeat
    wingeofhur
    tinherey
    es.

    Ihav
    eknownthiswomanlongert
    hanAmar
    abuti
    fthewor
    stcomest
    othewor
    st,
    Iam choosi
    ng
    Amaraoverev
    eryt
    hing.
    Chi
    oma:
    “Idon’
    thav
    eapr
    obl
    em wi
    thheri
    t’
    sjust
    -”

    Me:
    “It
    houghtasmuch.Goodni
    ghtChi
    oma.
    ”

    Ican’
    tbecominghomet osuchnonsense,hereyesfoll
    owmeasIwal kpasther
    .Sheknows
    bett
    erthantosayonemor ewordandchal l
    engeme, Idon’
    tunder
    standwhythesudden
    complaini
    ng.I
    sitbecauseherl
    if
    ewasr iskedtoday?

    IopenthedoortoAmara’sbedr
    oom barel
    yacrackandpeepinsi
    de,onlyt
    hesi
    delampison.
    Chiomahadment i
    onedthatAmarar
    ev eal
    edherphobi
    aofthedark.If
    indmysel
    fdrawntoher
    asIambleinsi
    de.

    Thi
    shasbeenonmylistoft
    hingstodo,
    wat
    chi
    nghersl
    eep.I
    t’
    stheonlythi
    ngthatmakessense
    tomeatt
    hispoi
    ntint
    imeotherwise,
    mywor
    ldi
    sspinni
    ngatafastpaceandIhatei
    twhenI
    hav
    enocontr
    olovert
    hingsar
    oundme.

    Thisdoll
    beforemehaschangedmyl if
    einmor ewaysthanone.Shefeel
    sl i
    kethi
    sisacursebut,
    Iseeitasablessi
    ngandIl ongf
    orthedayshewil
    lacceptmeandev eryt
    hingIcomewith.
    Lookingathernow,IknowIam readyt
    oloseital
    landIknowthereissomucht ol
    osebutalso,
    ther
    e’ssomuchmor et ogain

    KHETHU*

    Ihearthescrapofakeyi nthelock,
    it’
    shim.Iknowbyhowhet ur
    nsthekeyandhowheshuts
    thedoor.Irecognizethesoundofhisfoot
    steps.Icanhonest
    lysayt
    hatIcanrecogni
    zehi
    m wi
    th
    myey esclosed,ifthatmakessenseatall
    .

    Ideci
    detomeethim half
    wayandnotwaitforhi
    mi nthebedroom l
    ikeIusual
    l
    ydo,
    it’
    sint
    hewee
    hoursoft
    hemor ni
    ngandIhav en’
    tsl
    eptawinkatall
    .Worryandfearkeptmecompanyfr
    om t
    he
    ti
    mehewal kedoutofthehouse.

    Iapproacht oseehim st
    andi ngatthebott
    om oft hest airs,hi
    sheadbowedandhi sarm
    str
    etchedoutashi shandhol dsont othestairr
    ail.Her aiseshisheadasIbegintoslowl
    yguide
    myf eetdownt hestai
    rs,Idon’tl
    ikewhatIsee.Hel ooksbr oken,andtheimageofthi
    sshatter
    s
    myhear t.Hefli
    cksasmi lethatfl
    ashesonandof flikelightni
    ngonast ormynight
    .Hegivesme
    apeculiarlookasoureyesmeetl evel
    l
    yandi nstantly,Iknowt hatsomethi
    ngiswrong.He
    must ’
    vedonesomet hingthathenowr egr
    ets,Ishoul dhav efoll
    owedhim.

    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    It
    akehi
    scheeksi
    ntot
    hepalmsofmyhandsandmybodyshi
    ver
    satt
    hecol
    dnessofhi
    scheeks,
    i
    tmustbefr
    eezi
    ngout
    side.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Apuckergr
    owsbetweenhiseyebr
    ows, f
    oll
    owedbyaheadshake.Ipul
    lhi
    mtome,runmyhand
    onhi
    sheadandfeelhi
    m shiv
    eragainstme.Hebur
    ieshi
    sfaceonmychestandr
    eleasesa
    heav
    ysi
    gh,
    hiswar
    m br
    eat
    hsl
    i
    ther
    sonmybust
    .

    Her
    aiseshisheadtogazei
    ntomyeyes,
    giv
    ingmear egr
    ett
    edl
    ookofpain.Ican’
    thel
    pbutwant
    t
    ocarryhi
    sburden.Ihav
    eknownthi
    smanforfoury
    earsandnotoncehaveIseenhimthi
    slow.

    Whati
    sitt
    hatSt
    yleshasdone?

    Wil
    lIhavet
    hepol
    iceknocki
    ngatmydoort omorrowmorni
    ng?Cal
    lmeinsanebut,
    Iwil
    lpr
    otect
    hi
    m withev
    ery
    thi
    ngIhave,Iam notaboutt
    oletall
    they
    ear
    sspentwi
    thhim gotowast
    e.

    Hi
    slust
    ful
    eyesscanmyl
    i
    psbef
    orehewhi
    sper
    swor
    dsInev
    ersawcomi
    ng.

    St
    yles:
    “Makemef
    eel
    bet
    terKhet
    hu,
    makemef
    eel
    humanagai
    n.”

    Heleanscl
    osertomyfaceashesaysthisstr
    angerequestt
    hatleav
    esmefr
    ight
    enedt
    han
    scar
    ed.Surel
    ysomethi
    ngdidhappenbutIcan’
    tent
    ertai
    nthatr
    ightnow,
    heneedsmyatt
    ent
    ion
    andIwil
    lnotdepri
    vehi
    m ofthat
    .

    Befor
    eIknowi t
    ,ourl
    i
    psmeetandwear ecaughtinthi
    sinsat
    iabl
    eki
    ssthatl
    eavesusy ear
    ning
    formore.Hepull
    sout,l
    ooksint
    omyey esasifaskingorsear
    chingf
    orassur
    ance.I
    ’m stumped
    astowhy ,
    becausewehav edonet
    hissomanyt imes.

    Itakehi
    sl i
    psintomine,
    thi
    sismesay i
    ngIbelongt
    oyouandyoudon’
    thav
    etofeelt
    hiswayas
    l
    ongasIam ar ound.Iwanttofi
    l
    l t
    heholet
    hatwaspunchedi
    nsi
    deofhi
    m,theshal
    l
    owhole
    that’
    svi
    sibleeachti
    meIglanceintohi
    seyes.

    Hescoopsmeupintohi
    sar msandwal ksusupstai
    rs.Thisi
    sStyl
    esSishi
    ,themanwhodoesn’ t
    bel
    iev
    einhavi
    ngsexanywhereinthehousebutthebedroom.Hisreasonsare,
    itwoul
    dbe
    awkwardt
    oseeourguestsseatedonthesamecouchweshar edourmostsacredmoment s.
    Thesameexcusegoesforotherr
    oomsi nthehouse.It
    hinki
    t’
    stimeIbanpeoplefrom coming
    tomyhouse.

    Heputsmedownasweneart hebed, Idr


    opmygazebecausehiseyesaresearchi
    ngme.It
    ’sa
    l
    ookIhaveneverseenbef
    ore,onethatmakesmeshyawayf rom hi
    sgaze.Het i
    lt
    smychinwit
    h
    hi
    shandthencupsmycheekandbef oreIknowit
    ,ourl
    i
    psaredanci
    ngeffor
    tlessl
    yinone
    har
    mony.Wetaket i
    metokiss,f
    eelandexpl or
    eeachot
    her
    .

    Ihav
    eseenhim wit
    houthisshi
    rtbeforebutt
    oday,helooksdi
    ffer
    ent
    ,daunt
    ing,
    almostasi
    fI’
    m
    l
    ookingataper
    fectst
    ranger
    .Het akesastepback,hi
    sperver
    tedgazewil
    li
    ngmet osubmi
    tbut
    al
    sowantingt
    oshyawayasi tpenetrat
    estothedepthsofmysoul.

    St
    yles:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoul
    etmel
    ead?
    ”

    If
    rownatt
    hequest
    iont
    hathasputmei
    nabef
    uddl
    edst
    ate.

    St
    yles:
    “Letmel
    ovey
    ouKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Mybodyshuddersathi
    srequestt
    hatl
    eavesmegaspi
    ng.I
    sthi
    sarhet
    ori
    cal
    request
    ?Heal r
    eady
    l
    ovesme,helovedmefrom themomenthesawme.He’sbeenl
    ovi
    ngmeeverydaysince.
    Tobecont
    inued…
    21*

    KHETHU*

    St
    yles:
    “Undr
    essf
    ormebaby
    ,Iwantt
    oseey
    ou.Iwantt
    orel
    i
    vet
    hismomentf
    orev
    er.
    ”

    Thi
    sisafir
    st,
    he’snev
    eraskedmetost
    ri
    pforhi
    m andhe’
    snev
    ercar
    edt
    ost
    opandadmi
    remy
    bodyl
    ikehesayshewantstodo.

    Besi
    des,i
    t’snotl
    i
    kehehasnev
    erseenmenakedbef
    ore,
    Ist
    opmy
    sel
    ffr
    om shoot
    inghi
    ma
    st
    rangestare.

    Me:“Styl
    es,
    I’
    m notthe24yearoldyoumetyear
    sagoanymore.Ihav
    eputonwei
    ght,
    my
    st
    omachi snott
    ightanymore.Ihav
    estr
    etchmar
    ks,cel
    l
    uli
    teandfl
    absther
    eandt
    her
    e.I’
    vel
    et
    myselfgo.

    Sty
    les:“
    Undressformebaby,Iwantt
    oseeyou.Iwantt
    oreli
    vethi
    smomentfor
    ever
    .”
    Thi
    sisaf i
    rst
    ,he’snev
    eraskedmetostr
    ipf
    orhim andhe’
    snevercar
    edt
    ostopandadmi
    remy
    bodyli
    kehesay shewantstodo.

    Besi
    des,i
    t’
    snotl
    i
    kehehasnev
    erseenmenakedbef
    ore,
    Ist
    opmy
    sel
    ffr
    om shoot
    inghi
    ma
    st
    rangest
    are.

    Me: “Styl
    es,I’
    m nott he24yearoldyoumety earsagoany mor e.Ihaveputonwei ght,my
    stomachi snott i
    ghtany more.Ihavestretchmarks,cell
    uli
    teandf l
    absthereandt here.I
    ’v
    elet
    my selfgoSty l
    es.”
    Myi nsecurit
    iesspeakoutloudandIdon’ tknowwhyI ’
    mt el
    li
    nghi mthisbutmay beI ’
    m hopi
    ng
    thathewi l
    l f
    orgetaboutwant i
    ngt oseemynakedbody ,Idon’
    tev enl
    ookatmy selfnakedinthe
    mirror.
    Iseeat witchofdi sappoi
    ntmentinhisey es,hehatesitwhenI ’minsecure.Hetakesmyhand
    andpul l
    smei ntohisarmsast heycircl
    ear oundme, Iseemywor thi
    nhisey esast heygaze
    downatme.

    Sty
    les:“
    It
    ’sy
    oubaby,Ist
    il
    lseey
    outhewayIsawy outhef
    ir
    stt
    imeIl
    aidmyey
    esony
    ou.Onl
    y,
    youaremorematur
    ednowandi t
    ’sdar
    nhel
    latt
    racti
    ve.
    ”

    Me:
    “Butbaby
    -”

    Imi
    ghtspoi
    lthemoodwi
    thmybi
    gmout
    h,hi
    shandcr
    adl
    esmyf
    ace.
    Styl
    es: “Il
    ov eeveryinchofy ou,thelovehandl
    esy oucompl ai
    nabout,t
    hestr
    et chmar ksand
    what everelse.It
    ’sallapar tofyou.It
    ’swhatmakesy ou,youandbabyIwouldn’ thaveitany
    otherway .
    ”
    Myhear tisalr
    eadydanci ngonmychest ,i
    tfeelsli
    keit’
    saboutt oburst
    .Mydr essslipseasi
    ly
    from mybodyt ot hefloorasIpul li
    toff
    ,hehasgi venmet hisconfi
    denceandI ’
    m notlett
    ingitgo.
    I
    ’ml eftwithmyundergar ments,thankf
    ull
    yIav oi
    dedwear ingthosecomfort
    abl egrannypanti
    es
    today .Myspi r
    itmusthav epr edi
    ctedthismoment ,hisjawdr opswhil
    ehiseyesscanmywhol e
    bodymaki ngmener vous.
    Styl
    es: “Iam goingtocher ishthismomentf orever
    .”

    I
    tcomesoutasawhi sperasi
    ffl
    abber
    gastedbywhathe’
    sbehol
    ding,
    Ithi
    nkhe’
    sexaggerat
    ingi
    f
    youaskme.Iseethatl
    ookagai
    ninhiseyes,t
    hel
    ookthatsay
    sI’
    m worthi
    t.Mybodyquiv
    ersas
    goose-
    bumpsteaseeveryi
    nchofmyskin.

    Heplaceshishandsonmyhipsandpull
    smet ohim whi
    lehiseyesador
    eever
    ypartofmybody,
    hetouchesandkissest
    hemostsensi
    ti
    vepart
    sofmybody .Heni bbl
    esonmybrastr
    ap,
    gr
    aduall
    ypulli
    ngitdowntomyshoul
    derwit
    hhisteethandteasesmyshoul
    derwit
    hwetkisses.
    St
    yles:“
    You’r
    eagoddess.”

    Hel ooksi nt
    omyey esashedecl aresandInot icehowhi seyeshaveturnedfrom l
    ustt
    o
    desper ati
    onandhelplessness.Iknowt hathe’
    spr etendi
    ngbecausehei sthestr
    ongestmanI
    knowbut ,Iappr
    eci
    atehisgestureofwant i
    ngtomakemef eel l
    i
    keIam neededandI ’
    m ontopof
    thewor l
    d.
    Heki ssesmeagai n,slowandopen- mout hed,hisar mslooparoundmecr adli
    ngmyback.If eel
    him gripthehookofmybr aandunhooksi t
    ,heni bblesandbitesthecrookofmynecki nthe
    processandundoubt edl
    yleavi
    ngahi ckey.I’
    ml ettinghimleadlikeheasked,i
    tiswhathewant s.

    I
    ’
    m accommodat
    inghi
    m wi
    tht
    ouchesandki
    sses.

    Hegr azeshisli
    psf r
    om myneckdownt omychestmaki ngmykneesshake.Hebur i
    eshisface
    onmybr east
    ,snif
    fsandlooksupatmewi t
    hasi l
    l
    ysmi l
    eonhisf acethatl
    eavesmeblushi
    ng.
    Hehasaf eti
    shformybreast,hesaysi
    t’
    shismostfavouri
    tepartofmybody .Heki
    ssesmy
    bosom bef or
    etakingmynipplesint
    ohi
    smout honeatat i
    me,li
    ckingandsuckingt
    hem.Ishiver
    atthepleasureashismout hclai
    msmyskin.Hisli
    psmov etomine, he’
    ski
    ssingmeagain.

    Withhisbodyagai
    nstmine,If
    eelmyfeetswaybackwardsasi
    fI’
    mfl
    oati
    ng.Heleansoverme
    andinajif
    fyI’
    m onthebedlyi
    ngonmyback.Hisli
    psleavemymouthandfi
    ndtheirwaythrough
    mybody ,l
    eavi
    ngtrai
    lsofwetki
    ssesl
    i
    keapassionatepaint
    ert
    ell
    i
    nghi
    slovest
    orywithhis
    canvas.
    Hishandsl
    idesbet
    weenmyl
    egsbef
    oreheposi
    ti
    onshi
    msel
    f,Icl
    enchmyf
    inger
    sonhi
    sbackas
    hepusheshimsel
    fin.

    Theoccasi
    onal kisses,hereandthere.Thefeelofhiswarm skinonmine.Thegl
    ancesoflovei
    n
    hi
    seyes,hi
    swar m breathdanci
    ngonmyski nandhi ssoftmoansechoinginmyears.Theyhave
    mywor l
    dupsidedown, placi
    ngmeoncl oudnine.Thesaying‘If
    eell
    i
    keI’m ont
    opoft hewor
    ld’
    hascomet oit
    sf ullmanifest
    ati
    onast hisGreekgodwor shipsmybodywi t
    hhishands,hi
    sli
    ps
    andhisbody.Leav i
    ngmeont hev er
    geoft ear
    s.

    Hefeel
    sgoodi nsi
    demeandIlovehi
    m moret
    hanIdi
    dsecondsago.Hegr
    absapi
    l
    lowand
    pl
    acesitundermybum andt
    hrustsi
    nanupwardmot
    ion.

    Ican’
    thelpbutcryatthebeaut
    yofhisdeepthrust
    sthathav
    emef eel
    i
    ngl i
    keI’
    mlosi
    ngmymi
    nd.
    Hecatchesaglimpseofmyt earyeyesandstops,
    whichIwishhedi
    dn’t
    .Idon’
    twantthi
    s
    perf
    ectmomentt akenfrom me,Idon’
    twanti
    ttostop.

    Hel
    ookswor
    ri
    ed.

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?Am Ihur
    ti
    ngy
    ou?
    ”

    No,
    you’
    reper
    fect
    .

    Ishakemyheadnonetheless,
    Ican’tgetanythi
    ngoutofmymout h.Heclaimsmylips, f
    easti
    ng
    onthem.
    Hegoeson,ever
    ythrustandstrokeassuri
    ngmet hatanunt
    aint
    edpl easur
    eisyett
    ocome.I
    sendmyhandstohisbuttockspull
    inghim agai
    nstme,mybreat
    hi ngescal
    ati
    ngandt hesound
    ofmymoansf i
    ll
    i
    ngthissacredroom.Heconsumesmywhol ebeingasIf eel
    mysoul surgeto
    connectwi
    thhi
    s.

    If
    eel
    thi
    sgl
    ori
    oussensat
    ionl
    i
    keel
    ect
    ri
    cit
    ygusht
    hroughmywhol
    ebody
    .

    Iknowi nstant
    lywhenSt
    yleshashi ttheG- spotso,Iti
    ghtenmysel
    faroundhi
    m andridethi
    s
    pleasurabl
    ewav e.Wi
    theverythrustIlosecont r
    olofallmysenses.Mybodyshuddersunderhi
    m
    i
    nt hisglor
    iousmoment,hekissesmeandi t’
    sperfect
    .Iblar
    eouthisname,I
    ’m pant
    ingl
    ikeI
    havej ustr
    unamar at
    hon.Ifeelsomet hingwar m gl
    ideinsi
    demeasher el
    easesinsi
    deme.

    Heburieshi
    sfaceont
    hecur
    veofmyneck,
    hisheav
    ybr
    eat
    hingi
    nmyearsoundi
    ngsexi
    ereach
    second.
    St
    yles:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sandt
    hatf
    orcesasmi
    l
    eonmyf
    ace.Il
    ovet
    hisman.

    Iswear
    ,ift
    hisi
    snotpr
    ooft
    hatGodl
    ovesmet
    henIdon’
    tknowwhati
    s.

    *
    **

    I’
    m wokenupbymygr owl i
    ngstomach,t
    hehungerisstarti
    ngtohurtnowandi tfeel
    sli
    kemy
    stomachisonfi
    re.Irefusedfoodagainyest
    erdayandIhar dl
    yateanythingatdi
    nnerwit
    h
    Randal
    l.Iwasgl
    adt houghwhenhesai dI’dbehavingdinneroutsi
    dethisroom,t
    hiswil
    lgiv
    eme
    achancetoscanmysur roundi
    ngsandprobablyfi
    ndawayout .

    Itr
    yt ogetuptogetsomewatersincet
    hedoori
    sf or
    everl
    ockedandIcan’
    tgototheki
    tchen.I
    can’
    tmov e,t
    here’
    sthesel
    argearmsaroundmeandi mmediat
    elyIknowi
    t’
    shim,he’
    ssl
    eeping
    behindme.Howdi dInotf
    eelthi
    s?Andwhyishere?

    I
    tfeel
    ssostr
    angetohav eamanholdmel i
    kethis,Ihavenev erbeeninthi
    sstat
    einmylif
    e
    befor
    e.Wi
    theff
    ortIst
    ruggl
    einhi
    sar mstr
    yingtoloosemy sel
    fbuthet i
    ghtenst
    hegr
    ip.He
    nuzzl
    eshi
    sfaceonmyneckandki ssesme, mybodyr espondsbyt r
    embl i
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howdoesi
    tfeel
    whenIdot
    hispr
    incess?
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sinmyearasheni
    bbl
    esoni
    t,Ishi
    veri
    nembar
    rassment
    .

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease…”

    Ipl
    ead,I
    ’m al
    readyemot i
    onal.Ican’
    tperceiv
    ewhat ’
    sgoingonandwhyhei sdoi
    ngthi
    s?Itf
    eel
    s
    di
    ffer
    entt
    hough, it
    ’snotl
    ikewhenmyuncl etouchesme.Wi t
    hhim,Ialwaysfel
    tdi
    sgust
    edbut
    wit
    hRandall,
    itfeelsri
    ghtandIhatemy selffori
    tbecausethi
    sistheverysamebeastwho
    boughtmef r
    om myuncl e.

    Hetur
    nsmearound,he’
    sont opofmebeforeIcanbl
    ink.Myhear
    tracesasIfeel
    hisweighton
    meandmybodystif
    fens.He’sl
    ooki
    ngdownatmeandhi sey
    esaresmili
    ng.Iqui
    ckl
    ylookaway.
    Hecupsmycheekwithhishandgent
    lycar
    essingi
    t.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Myv
    oicef
    ail
    stosuppor
    tmywor
    dsasIaskt
    hisquest
    ion,
    hesmi
    rks.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    sitnotcl
    earwhatI
    ’
    m doi
    ngmehemma?
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    letmego.
    ”

    Myey
    esst
    il
    lref
    uset
    omeethi
    sgaze.

    Randal
    l:“
    Ihav
    eaneedf
    ory
    ouAmar
    a.Doy
    ouknowhowl
    ongIhav
    ebeencr
    avi
    ngt
    ohol
    dyou
    l
    ikethi
    s?”

    Hemov
    eshi
    sfi
    ngeral
    ongmyl
    i
    psandt
    hatf
    ri
    ssonofembar
    rassmentt
    ugsatmeagai
    n.
    Randal
    l
    :“CanIt
    ast
    ethem?
    ”

    Hi
    svoi
    cei
    spl
    eadi
    ng.Icl
    enchmyey
    esasIt
    rembl
    eunderhi
    stouch.

    He’
    stoocl
    ose,
    socl
    oseIcanheart
    hesoundofhi
    shear
    tthr
    obbingagai
    nsthi
    schest.I
    fthi
    s
    r
    oom di
    dn’
    thol
    dontot
    hepuresti
    ll
    nessoft
    hemorni
    ng,
    I’
    dthinkhedoesn’
    tpossessaheart
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    sisal
    lIcant
    hinkabout
    ,mymi
    ndcan’
    tseem t
    othi
    nkofany
    thi
    ngbuty
    ourpl
    ump
    l
    ips.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sashet
    akesmychi
    n,maki
    ngmef
    acehi
    m.

    Hebrusheshi
    sli
    psagai nstmine,Ican’tst
    opmybodyfr
    om t
    rembl
    ing.Myemot i
    onsareall
    over
    t
    heplaceandIdon’tknowwhat ’sgoingon.Iwanthi
    mtost
    opbutIdon’twanthi
    mt ostopand
    t
    hisbri
    ngsunsol
    ici
    tedtearstomyey es.

    Thedoorf l
    i
    psopenandIknowi t’
    sChioma, awaveofembar rassmentteasesmeandIwantt o
    hi
    deandnev err
    evealmyshamefulf
    ace.Youwouldthinkthismanwoul dmov ebutnotonly
    hasn’themov edaninch,hi
    sey
    esarestil
    lexpl
    ori
    ngmyf acialfeat
    ures.Theycan’
    tseem t
    oleave
    mylips,Ibr
    idgehimt r
    yingt
    opushhim buti
    tfeel
    sli
    keI’m pushingastandingwal
    l.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Uze.
    ”

    There’
    sshockandchasti
    sementi
    nhertone,butwhyisn’
    themov
    ingt
    hough.He’
    sst
    il
    lst
    ari
    ng,
    I
    ’veneverbeencaughti
    nsuchanuncomfort
    ablesi
    tuati
    on.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Uze?
    ”

    Shetri
    esonemor
    eti
    me,
    it’
    sal
    mostl
    i
    kehedoesn’
    thearher
    ,li
    kei
    t’
    sjustt
    het
    woofus.Thi
    sman
    i
    sinsane.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    getof
    fme.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadwithmyey esaswell
    ,hesighs,t
    il
    tshisheadt
    ot hesi
    deanddi
    psi
    tonmynecknest
    li
    ng
    hi
    sface.Ishi
    veratthewar
    mt hofhisbreat
    honmyski n.

    Heget supfr
    om mef i
    nall
    yandI’
    m soembarrassedt
    hatIcan’tev
    enlookathi
    m andChi
    omaso,
    Ikeepmyey esout
    sidethewindow.Ihearhi
    sheavyf
    ootstepsfar
    ingawayfr
    om meandafl
    ood
    ofrel
    iefri
    ppl
    esthr
    oughme.

    NOMBULELO*

    Zumawasn’ti
    nthehousewhenIwokeupthi
    smor ni
    ng,
    sot
    hatgav
    emet
    imet
    obat
    handcl
    ean
    upthi
    spl
    ace.Idon’
    tknowhowheli
    vesli
    keapig.

    Hewal
    ksi
    njustasIpourwat
    eri
    napot
    .

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,I’
    m maki
    ngpor
    ri
    dge,
    woul
    dyoul
    i
    kesome?
    ”
    Hescansmybody ,
    looki
    ngatmel
    ikeI
    ’
    m disgust
    ing,
    Idropmygazebecauset
    hisbr
    eaksmy
    al
    readybr
    okenheart
    .Imisst
    hel
    ookoflov
    einhiseyes.

    Hesaunt
    erstowardst
    hebedandstar
    tspicki
    ngoutcl
    othesoutofaroy
    albl
    uet
    runkcloset
    othe
    bed,
    that
    ’swherehekeepshi
    scl
    eanclot
    heswhil
    ethedirtyonesar
    ekepti
    nabucketnextt
    oit
    .

    Zuma:“Whatti
    meareyouleav
    ing?Ineedt
    ogot
    other
    ank.I
    t’
    srushhourandIwon’
    tsel
    lmuchi
    f
    Igett
    herel
    atert
    hanei
    ght.
    ”

    Il
    ookathi
    m ashecont
    inuest
    ost
    abmyhear
    twi
    thhi
    swor
    dsandcol
    dtone.

    Me:
    “It
    houghty
    ouwer
    elet
    ti
    ngmest
    ayt
    il
    lIf
    indmyf
    eet
    .”

    Hest
    opsandgi
    vesmeal
    ookt
    hatl
    eav
    esmef
    eel
    i
    ngst
    upi
    d.

    Zuma:
    “Hai
    bo!Yousai
    dyouwant
    edapl
    acet
    ocr
    ashf
    ort
    heni
    ght
    .”

    Me:
    “Iknowbut
    ,Idon’
    thav
    eany
    wher
    etogoZuma.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Manj
    emi
    nangi
    ngenaphi
    ?”(
    Howi
    sthatmypr
    obl
    em?
    )

    Me:
    “Zuma?
    ”

    Whathappenedt
    ohi
    m?

    Zuma:
    “WhatNombul
    elo?Ungangi
    bhor
    ituu.
    ”(Don’
    tbor
    emepl
    ease.
    )

    Igasp,
    it’
    sgoi
    ngt
    otakemef
    orev
    ert
    oacceptt
    his.

    Zuma:
    “Aski
    es,
    Eish.
    ”(Excuseme)

    Hehi
    ssesashepushesmesohecoul
    dpasst
    ogett
    otheot
    hersi
    deoft
    her
    oom.

    Me:
    “Zuma,
    whyusov
    eley
    ee?
    ”(Whyar
    eyoubei
    ngl
    i
    ket
    his?
    )

    Hef
    rownsatme.

    Zuma:“IwasokayNombulel
    oti
    ll
    wenaforsomereasondeci
    dedtofal
    lpr
    egnant
    .Youdi
    dn’
    t
    event
    hinkaboutme,usel
    fi
    shNombul
    elo,
    usel
    fi
    shmaan.”(You’
    resel
    fi
    sh.
    )

    Me: “Ideci
    dedt ofallpregnant?Zumadoy ouhearyour
    self
    ?You’renotmakingsense,mist
    akes
    happen.I’m notperfect,Iwasboundt omessupatsomepoi nt.Wenayouwer eexpecti
    ngmet o
    beasubmi ssi
    vegirlfr
    iendwhi chIbloodywasZuma.Iwasl oyalt
    oy ouandlovedyou,Igav
    ey ou
    everythi
    ng.Wenanj ewat hat
    hauthandol wam’walul
    axazali
    keitmeantnothingt
    oy ou.Whois
    self
    ishhereZuma? ”(Yout ookmyl oveandthrewitaway.
    )

    Hi
    sfacechangest
    othatofangerandannoy
    ance.

    Zuma:“
    Ungazong’t
    shelaamasi
    mbawenaLelo.Whatt hef
    uckdoyouknowaboutl
    ove?Ify
    ou
    l
    ovedme,youweregoingtot
    akecont
    racept
    ives.But
    ,yout
    houghti
    tbestt
    otr
    ickmewitha
    baby
    .”(
    Don’tt
    ell
    meshi t
    .)

    Me:
    “Oh,
    soy
    ouagr
    eet
    hatt
    hechi
    l
    disy
    our
    s?”
    Zuma:
    “Idon’
    tagr
    eet
    oshi
    t,I
    ’
    m donewi
    thy
    ou.Al
    lofy
    ou.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksatmyt
    ummyashest
    atest
    hel
    astpar
    t.

    Zuma:
    “Iwanty
    ougoneandInev
    erwantt
    oseey
    ouagai
    n.”

    Hiswor dsevokesomuchangerinmethatIwanttoburnhim wit


    hthewatert
    hat’
    sboil
    i
    nginthe
    pot.Iam temptedt
    opickt
    hispotupandthrowitathi
    sdisgusti
    ngface.HowdidIcometol
    ove
    thi
    sidiot?

    Me:“FuckyouZuma.Wher edoy ougetof


    ft el
    l
    ingmeallt
    hatshi
    t?Howdar eyouf
    orcemetobe
    okaywithalloft
    his?I’
    m st
    ressedaswel
    l,
    y outhi
    nkbei
    ngpregnantatayoungageisf
    un?You
    havenorighttosaythosethi
    ngstome,Ithoughtyoul
    ovedmeZuma. ”

    Hel
    aughsasi
    fit
    ’sf
    unny
    .

    Zuma:
    “Ut
    handoNombul
    elo?Howstupidcanyoube?JustbecauseImadeyouscr
    eam my
    namewhi
    l
    eIwasinsi
    deyou,i
    tgav
    ey outheimpr
    essi
    onthatIloveyou?
    ”(Lov
    e?)

    Hef
    ini
    sheswi
    thamocki
    ngl
    augh,
    Ilookatt
    heboi
    l
    ingpotofwat
    er,
    thenbackathi
    m.

    Gosh,
    theur
    gei
    sther
    e.

    Me:
    “Yout
    oldmey
    oul
    ovedme.
    ”

    Zuma: “
    Thoset
    hreesi
    mpl
    ewor
    ds?Pl
    ease,
    Icanev
    ensayt
    hem t
    othecockr
    oachesIshar
    ethi
    s
    room wit
    h.”

    Me:
    “Youbast
    ard,
    Ihat
    eyou.
    ”

    Hegri
    nsatme,Ihav
    eneverseenev
    ili
    nmyl
    i
    febuti
    fitexi
    stst
    henI
    ’
    m st
    ari
    ngati
    tri
    ghtnowor
    el
    seheisagoodactor
    .

    Zuma:
    “Ah!Thatwor
    d,t
    hat
    ’st
    her
    ightwor
    dtouse.Thef
    eel
    i
    ngi
    smut
    ual
    sisi
    wam’
    .
    ”(Mysi
    ster
    .)

    I
    thurt
    smor ethathejustref
    erredt
    omeashissi
    ster
    ,itmeanshedoesn’
    tseemeasawoman
    any
    mor e.Imanagetofightbackmytear
    s.

    Me:
    “Fucky
    ouZuma,
    fucky
    ouandy
    ourmat
    chboxofahouse.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Atl
    eastIhav
    eahouse.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    amusedl
    y.

    Me:
    “Uy
    inj
    ayezwa?
    ”(You’
    reabast
    ard.
    )

    Hegrowl
    sinangerashechar
    gesatme,
    I’
    m notshakenbecauseIknowhewon’
    thi
    tme.Hehas
    nev
    erlai
    dahandonmebef or
    e.

    Zuma:
    “Li
    stenher
    eNombul
    elo,
    Iam get
    ti
    ngt
    ir
    edofy
    ourshi
    t.Tal
    ktomel
    i
    ket
    hatagai
    nandIwi
    l
    l
    -
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatwi
    l
    lyoudoZuma?Whatwi
    l
    lyoudo?
    ”
    Thatt
    imeI
    ’
    m onhi
    sfacepoki
    nghi
    sheadwi
    thmyf
    oref
    inger
    .

    Zuma:
    “I’
    m war
    ningy
    ouNombul
    elo.
    ”

    Heshovesmyhandaway,hi
    sgazepi
    erci
    ngatme.Idon’
    tknowwhatcameovermebutIcan’
    t
    cont
    rol
    myanger,somehowprov
    oki
    nghim makesmefeelbet
    ter
    .It
    ’seasi
    ngt
    hepai
    ninmyheart
    .

    Me:
    “Doy
    ourwor
    stZuma.
    ”

    Ishoutmylungsout,
    resul
    ti
    ngi
    nhi
    m chuckl
    i
    ngcol
    dly
    .Hest
    epsbackasheshakeshi
    shead,
    defeatdecl
    ari
    nghi
    m aloser
    .

    Me:
    “It
    houghtasmuch.
    ”

    Mybodyistrembli
    ngfrom fear,i
    t’
    snotli
    kemet otakesuchri
    sks.Bei
    ngboldenought
    ostand
    uptothi
    sfool.Il
    eavehim speechlessasIt
    urntogetacontai
    nerofmeali
    emeal fr
    om t
    hetop
    cupboar
    d.I
    t’
    st oohi
    ghandmyhei ghtdoesn’
    tsupportme.

    AsItur
    ntogetachairsoIcancl i
    mb,Ifi
    ndhim gl
    ari
    ngatmeemot i
    onl
    essly.Ir
    ollmyeyesat
    hi
    m andcl
    ickmyt onguebeforecont
    inui
    ngwithmycooking.Icli
    mbont hechairandr
    eachmy
    handst
    ograbthecont ai
    nerbutastr
    ongv i
    gor
    oushandwr enchesmyt op,
    throwingmeont he
    fl
    oorwi
    thaloudthud.Ihearsomethi
    ngcrackasmybodycol li
    deswiththehardbase.

    BeforeIcouldspeak,hesmasheshi sfootonmyst omachf ollowedbymul t


    ipl
    eones, att
    his
    poi
    ntmyhandsar eonmyl owertorsoasIshi el
    dmywombf rom thi
    sbeati
    ng.Ieventuall
    y
    scr
    eam ashest raddlesmeandt hr
    owspunchesatmyf ace,Isendmyhandst omyf acet o
    coverupbutheshr ugst hem awayandcont i
    nuesboxi ngme.Mybodyhasbecomenumb, my
    vi
    sionblursandIdon’ tf
    eelthepainany moreasi tf
    eelslikeI’
    m dr i
    ft
    ingtoafarawayplace.Aft
    er
    he’
    ssat i
    sfi
    edwithhisani mosit
    y,hestops,standsandl ooksov ermewithragebutalsoapang
    ofregretonhisface.Hisfacethent ur
    nstopani cbeforehecowar dlyr
    unsoutleavi
    ngmei n
    agony,myheav yeyesf i
    nall
    yclose.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    22*

    RANDALL*

    I
    tfel
    tsogoodt
    ohol
    dAmar
    ainmyar
    msal
    lni
    ght
    .

    Lastni
    ghtwhi
    lewat
    chi
    nghersl
    eep,
    Icoul
    dn’
    tfi
    ghttheur
    getocli
    mbi ntobedwit
    hherand
    envel
    opheri
    nmyarms.Igavei
    ntomydesir
    eanditwasthebestfeel
    ingever
    .

    Igottof eelherskint
    oday,shetrembledundermyt ouchandIknewi twasn’tf
    rom f
    ear
    .Her
    breastsfelt
    ,sogoodpr essedagainstmychest.Thekisswasn’ tpl
    anned, t
    hemomentwas
    presented.Thet emptat
    ionoverpoweredmeandIsur rendered.I’
    m scarednowbecause,
    alt
    houghi twasamer ebrush,t
    helongingtotasteherl
    ipsfull
    yhasgr own.Iwanttoknowhow
    they’
    df eelastheyminglewithmineleadingusintoaperfectsubli
    meki ss.

    I
    ’mt err
    if
    iedofbeinggr
    eedyf
    orherandwant
    ingmor
    ethanshecanof
    fer
    .Whati
    fIl
    osecont
    rol
    overthi
    sobsession?

    Ihar
    dlynoti
    cedChi omawhenshewalkedi
    ntot
    heroom,
    sheal
    way
    sknocksandIdon’
    tknow
    whatgotintoher.Iref
    uset
    oletany
    thi
    ngcomebet
    weenmeandmyqueen.Ihadt
    oleavemy
    ownroom justtoaccommodateher.

    Iwasl
    osi
    ngmymi
    ndany
    wayandhadt
    ogetoutandcool
    off
    .

    Amarahasn’
    tbeentothissi
    deofthehouse,
    Ithi
    nkshewoul
    dlov
    ethepool
    alt
    houghi
    t’
    swi
    nter
    ,
    thesuni
    ssti
    llwar
    mi nthemorni
    ngs.

    I
    tsuddenl
    ydawnsonmet hatIhaven’
    tspokent
    oStylesyet
    ,Iknowhe’
    sokay
    .Idon’
    tknowabout
    Mkhi
    ze,hi
    sancest
    orsar
    epr obabl
    ythr
    owinghim awelcomi
    ngparty
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Howar
    eyouawakesoear
    lyi
    nthemor
    ning?
    ”

    Hi
    ssl
    eepyv
    oicecausesmet
    ofr
    own,
    it’
    s10am.

    Me:
    “BecauseI
    ’
    m notani
    ghtwal
    ker
    ,li
    kesomeoneIknow.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’st
    ooear
    lyf
    ory
    ourl
    amej
    okesRandal
    l
    ,Ihav
    en’
    thadbr
    eakf
    asty
    et.
    ”

    Me:
    “Gety
    ourassupandcomet
    omyhouse,
    weneedt
    otal
    kabouty
    ouknowwho.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ?”

    Hesoundsconf
    used.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tmakemesayi
    tov
    ert
    hephone.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Ist
    il
    lhav
    eaf
    ewt
    hingsIneedt
    odobut
    ,I’
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokayt
    hough?
    ”
    St
    yles:
    “I’
    mtal
    ki
    ngt
    oyouar
    en’
    tI?
    ”

    Me:
    “Smugmuch?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Me:
    “Wecandr
    ivet
    oget
    hert
    othehospi
    tal
    aft
    er.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    What
    ’satt
    hehospi
    tal
    ?”

    Me:
    “Li
    yana,
    shewasal
    mostdr
    ownedbyOl
    i
    via’
    sboy
    fri
    end.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Pl
    easet
    ell
    mey
    ouputabul
    l
    ett
    hroughhi
    shead.
    ”

    Hesoundsangr
    y.

    Me:
    “Hel
    l
    o?Who’
    sthi
    s?MayIspeakt
    oSt
    ylespl
    ease?
    ”

    Imockhi
    m,hecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue.

    St
    yles:
    “Layof
    fthej
    okesUze,
    you’
    renotf
    unnyman.
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    sannoy
    edt
    one.

    Me:“I
    tisyouStyles,It
    houghtI
    ’dl
    osty
    ouf
    orasecondt
    her
    e.YouknowhowIr
    ecogni
    zedy
    ou?
    You’
    resti
    l
    l assensit
    iveasshi
    t.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Di
    dyoucal
    ltopi
    ssmeof
    fRandal
    lbecausei
    t’
    swor
    king.
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    m…

    Hel
    aughsanddr
    opst
    hephone.

    Ther
    udeness.

    STYLES*

    “
    Baby
    ,won’
    tyoucomeal
    ready
    ?”

    Khet
    huy
    ell
    sfr
    om downst
    air
    s,herv
    oicei
    sspi
    kedwi
    thi
    mpat
    ience.

    Me:
    “I’
    m comi
    ng.
    ”

    Wakingupthi
    smor ni
    ngwasast r
    uggle,I
    ’m st
    il
    lshakenbywhatIdidl
    astni ght.I
    tli
    ter
    all
    y
    drai
    nedthel
    if
    eoutofme, seei
    ngthefearIi
    nstil
    l
    edonMkhi ze’
    sfamil
    y.Ididn’tcareabout
    anyt
    hingwhil
    eIwasther
    e, Iwasdri
    venbyrevengeandwr at
    hbuteveryt
    hinghi tmewhi l
    edri
    vi
    ng
    backhome.Thelookontheirf
    aces,t
    heircr
    iesandscreams.

    DidIev
    erment
    iont
    hatKhet
    hukut
    hul
    aDl
    adl
    aisabr
    eat
    hoff
    reshai
    r?Iwoul
    dcr
    umbl
    ewi
    thout
    her.
    “
    Ift
    hemount
    ainwi
    l
    lnotcomet
    oMuhammad,
    thenMuhammadmustgot
    othemount
    ain.
    ”

    It
    urnt
    okhet
    hu’
    svoi
    ce,
    she’
    sst
    andi
    ngi
    nthedoorwaycar
    ryi
    ngat
    rayoff
    ood.

    Me:
    “Babyy
    oudi
    dn’
    thav
    etobr
    ingi
    tupher
    e,I
    ’
    m al
    mostdone.Iwasj
    ustf
    ixi
    ngt
    hebed.
    ”

    Sheput
    sthef
    oodont
    het
    abl
    e.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwant
    edt
    o.”

    Shetreadstomewi thagent l
    esmil
    eonherf ace,myarmsgoar oundherwaistasshelooksup
    atme.Ileanin,somyf oreheadpr
    essesagainsther
    s.Sheslidesherhandsdownmyspi ne
    pul
    li
    ngmecl osertil
    lther
    e’snospacelef
    tbetweenus.Ourlipsfamil
    iar
    isewi
    theachother,I
    shi
    verashert onguepressesagai
    nsttheseam ofmylips.Shetast
    esofcoffee,
    shecan’tst
    art
    herdaywithoutacuport wo.

    Sheplungeshert
    ongueinmymout
    handi tpushesagai
    nstmine.Herki
    ssesarepr
    omising,
    they
    aref
    rom thehear
    tandtheyt
    ell
    methatIam l
    ovedbyher.Il
    oveitwhenshetakeschar
    ge.

    If
    eel
    hersmi
    l
    eagai
    nstmymout
    h,compel
    l
    ingmet
    osmi
    l
    eback.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Awhi
    sperdi
    schar
    gesf
    rom hermout
    h.

    Me:
    “Forwhat
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Lov
    ingme.
    ”

    HowcanInotl
    ovesuchawoman?

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ii
    nvi
    tedmyf
    atherf
    ordi
    nnert
    hisev
    eni
    ng.
    ”

    Shei
    ntr
    oduces,
    Ipul
    lawayf
    rom her
    .SheknowsIcannev
    ergetal
    ongwi
    thherpar
    ent
    s.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles?
    ”

    Me:
    “Whywoul
    dyoudot
    hatKhet
    huwi
    thoutt
    ell
    i
    ngme?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Hewant
    stoknowhowIam si
    nce,
    youknow.
    ”

    Me:
    “So,
    I’
    m supposedt
    oshar
    eat
    abl
    ewi
    thy
    ourf
    atherandpr
    etendt
    hatwel
    i
    keeachot
    her
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Pl
    ease,
    formysake.
    ”

    Shef
    lashesmeacutesmi
    leasshefl
    utt
    ersherlashes.Herhandsar
    eonherbackandshe
    sway
    sbackandfor
    thli
    keachi
    ldsul
    ki
    ngf orcandy.

    Howcany
    ousaynot
    othat
    ?

    Me:
    “Cant
    hoseey
    esgetanybi
    gger
    ?”

    Shef
    lut
    ter
    sherl
    ashesagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Fi
    ne,
    I’
    ll
    tryt
    obeonmybestbehav
    iourt
    oo.
    ”
    Shebeamsbef
    oreshr
    ieki
    ngwi
    thl
    aught
    erandt
    hrowi
    ngherar
    msar
    oundme,
    Ichuckl
    eather
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m br
    ingi
    ngmygunj
    usti
    ncase.
    ”

    Thel
    ookonherf
    acei
    spr
    icel
    ess.

    Me:
    “I’
    m ki
    ddi
    ngbaby
    .”

    Ipeckherl
    i
    psandshesmi
    l
    eswi
    del
    y.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iknowy
    ouar
    e.”

    NTOMBI
    *

    “
    WeNt
    ombi
    vul
    a.”(
    Open)

    Ei
    sh!
    !!

    Thatsoundsl
    ikemyelderbr
    otherMhambi,he’sbangi
    ngonmydoor .Thener
    veofthatman.He
    musthaveheardaboutAmarabeingmi
    ssing,Ihopehedidn’
    tbri
    nghisnosywif
    ePetuni
    a.That
    womant al
    kstoomuchthati
    t’snerv
    ewrecking,shecomplai
    nsaboutal
    mostevery
    thi
    ng.

    Gr
    eat
    !She’
    sher
    e.

    Herf
    acei
    sthef
    ir
    stt
    hingIseewhenIopent
    hedoorandanangr
    yMhambi
    rightbesi
    deher
    .

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    ?”

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    ?Whati
    sthi
    sIhearaboutAmar
    abei
    ngmi
    ssi
    ng?Wher
    eismybr
    other
    ’schi
    l
    d
    Nt
    ombif
    uthi
    .
    ”

    Hemakeshi mselfcomfort
    abl
    eonmysof aashedisr
    espect
    ful
    lyaskmethis.Pet
    uni
    aistheone
    l
    uggingthei
    rbags,shedropsthem onthefl
    oorandwithanatt
    it
    udemarchestomykitchen.She
    bet
    ternottouchmyt hi
    ngs,myeyesareengrossedonherasI’
    m moret
    hankeent of
    indouthow
    shecanstil
    lbesoar r
    ogantev
    enaftersomanyy ear
    s.

    Mhambi
    :“Wher
    eisMoses?
    ”

    Me:
    “He’
    sbat
    hing.
    ”

    Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    ktohi
    m.Justl
    i
    kePet
    uni
    a,Mhambi
    ist
    wiceasar
    rogantandr
    ude.

    Mhambi :“
    Whyarey
    oust
    il
    lst
    andi
    ngt
    her
    eNt
    ombi
    fut
    hi?Idi
    dn’
    tcomeher
    eforav
    acat
    ion.Cal
    l
    yourhusband.
    ”

    Yetyourwifei
    sinmykitchenprepar
    ingafeastf
    oryou.Ihearaplat
    eshat
    terandr
    unt
    othe
    ki
    tchen,t
    hisol
    dwitchhasdroppedthreeofmyexpensiveplat
    es.

    Me:
    “Pet
    uni
    a,mypl
    ates.
    ”

    Ishoutather
    ,sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.
    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Aski
    es.
    ”(Sor
    ry.
    )

    Shedoesn’
    tloset
    heat
    ti
    tude.

    Me:
    “Thosewer
    emyChr
    ist
    maspl
    ates.Whosai
    dyoumustuset
    hem any
    way
    ?”

    Petuni
    a:“
    YohNt
    ombi,y
    oucan’
    texpectmetoser
    vemyhusbandont
    hoseol
    dcr
    ackedpl
    ates.
    Yoh,maybef
    orMoseshay
    iuMhambi wami
    .”(
    NotmyMhambi.)

    It
    hinkI
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    olosemymi
    nd.Br
    eat
    heNt
    ombi
    ,br
    eat
    he.

    Dammi
    tI’
    m get
    ti
    ngol
    d,ev
    encont
    rol
    l
    ingmybr
    eat
    hingi
    sbecomi
    nghar
    d.

    Me:
    “Forhowl
    ongar
    eyoust
    ayi
    ngany
    way
    ?”

    Shef
    rowns.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Youdon’
    twantusi
    nyourhouseNt
    ombi
    ?”

    Shesay
    sasshepour
    stwocupsofr
    icei
    napotofboi
    l
    ingwat
    er.Thesepeopl
    ethi
    nkIhav
    e
    money.

    Me:
    “I’
    mjustaski
    ng.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    May
    bet
    woweeks.
    ”

    Shemumbl
    es…

    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    otel
    lmeMoses?
    ”

    WehearMhambi shoutbefor
    eIcoul
    dspeak,Ir
    ushbackt
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom.Pet
    uni
    adoesn’
    t
    bot
    her
    ,theypr
    obablyplannedthi
    sambush.

    Mhambi
    isonhi
    sfeetwhi
    l
    eMosesi
    sseat
    edonacouchopposi
    tehi
    m,l
    ooki
    ngunbot
    her
    edby
    Mhambi
    ’
    sdemeanour.

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    ,whati
    sthi
    sIhear
    ?”

    I
    ’
    m conf
    used,
    Idon’
    tknowwhatMosesmi
    ghthav
    esai
    dtohi
    m.

    Moses:“
    Amaraisnotasi
    nnocentasyoupeoplethi
    nk.Thatgir
    lusedtogal l
    i
    v antt
    hesestreet
    s
    wi
    thmen, y
    oucangoknocki
    ngonev er
    ydoorMhambi andtheywil
    ltel
    lyout hesamething.
    Ev
    eryboyinEver
    tonhast
    astedthatgi
    rl
    ,she’
    saloosecannon.Shefellpregnantandranaway
    wi
    ththefat
    her
    .”

    Ifeelsomet
    hingsti
    ngmyheartandIdropbackont
    hecouch.Mosesi
    sly
    ing,
    hecoul
    dhav
    e
    thoughtofabett
    erli
    ebutnott
    arni
    shthatgi
    rl
    ’si
    mage.

    Mhambi
    tur
    nshi
    sgazet
    ome,
    hel
    ooksasshockedasIam butourr
    easonsdi
    ff
    er.

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    ?Ist
    hist
    rue?I
    syourhusbandt
    ell
    i
    ngt
    het
    rut
    h?”

    HowdoIanswert
    hat
    ?

    HowdoIbet
    raymyl
    atebr
    otherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?
    Moses:
    “Yes,
    it’
    str
    ue.Nt
    ombi
    findsi
    thar
    dtospeakabouti
    tbecausei
    thur
    tsher
    .”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Thati
    sal
    i
    e.”

    Pet
    uni
    ashout
    sasshemar
    chesf
    rom t
    heki
    tchen.

    Pet
    uni
    aist
    hoset
    hickshor
    taunt
    ies,
    theonesy
    ouwoul
    dn’
    twantt
    omesswi
    th.She’
    sinhermi
    d-
    50’
    s.

    She’sl
    oudandv eryconfi
    dent.She’
    sMhambi ’
    sonlywife,therewereotherwomeni
    nhisli
    fe.
    Theygavehim chil
    dren,boyswhilePetuni
    aborehim gir
    ls.Hislongi
    ngforaboychi
    l
    ddrove
    Mhambi outsideofthemar r
    iagebutthewomennev erdaredt ostay
    ,thi
    swomanwouldrather
    burnmybr otheral
    ivethanhavehimt akeasecondwife.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Amangal
    awoMoses.
    ”(I
    t’
    sal
    ll
    ies.
    )

    Moses:
    “Hai
    bo!Andt
    hen,
    lona?Thi
    shasnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ou,
    you’
    rej
    ustani
    n-l
    aw.
    ”(Thi
    sone)

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    You’
    real
    soani
    n-l
    awMoses.
    ”

    Moses: “Petuni
    a,bukauNtombi .Notoncehasmywi ferai
    sedheropini
    onsincethemenst ar
    ted
    tal
    king.Wenaucabang’ ukut
    hi uwubani?Mhambi,khuzandoda.Hainiy
    aziukukhethashame,
    uhlazololu.Awomanwhodi sputeswithmen?”(LookatNtombi)(Whodoy outhinkyouare?)
    (Chasti
    seher )(
    Youknowhowt ochoosethem,suchanembar r
    assment)

    Pet
    uni
    a:“Yey
    i!
    !!Ung’
    hl
    any
    isi
    wenaMoses.Youwi
    l
    ltel
    luswhaty
    oudi
    dtot
    hatchi
    l
    d.”(
    Don’
    tpi
    ss
    meoff
    .)

    Moses:“
    Ang’
    suMhambi
    minaPet
    uni
    a,esami
    isandl
    asi
    yasebenza.
    ”(I
    ’
    m noty
    ourhusband,
    Iwi
    l
    l
    hi
    tyou.
    )

    Mhambi:“
    WhydoIf
    eelthatyourt
    alksar
    eofsomeonewhoistr
    yingtohi
    desomet
    hing?You’
    re
    at
    tacki
    ngmywif
    ebecauseyoudon’twantust
    oseethr
    oughyourli
    es.
    ”

    Moses:“HauMhambi,
    inmyownhouse.Okay,Isee.Sothi
    sisther
    easonyoucametomyhouse,
    t
    odowngr ademeandinsul
    tme.Al
    lthewayf
    rom KZN, ni
    zonyel
    aminaemzini
    wami.
    ”(Youcame
    t
    odisrespectmei
    nmyhouse.)

    Iam soembarr
    assedbyMoses, hedeser
    vesanOscarf orhi
    sacti
    ng.Butmybr
    othercansee
    ri
    ghtthr
    oughhi
    m, Ihopehedoesn’tt
    hrowthem out
    .Itwil
    lbetheendofme,Mosesisnot
    ashamedtoactst
    upidinfr
    ontofpeople.

    Mhambi:“Nt
    ombi
    arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    okeepqui
    etwhi
    l
    eyourhusbandspeakst
    oyourel
    derbr
    other
    l
    iket
    his?
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowwhatMhambi
    want
    sfr
    om me,
    it’
    snotl
    i
    kehedoesn’
    tknowhowMosescanbe.

    Moses:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwanthert
    odo?Nt
    ombi
    ismywi
    fe,
    soshe’
    sboundt
    otakemysi
    de.
    ”

    Lor
    dlett
    hisbi
    cker
    ingcomet
    oanendpl
    ease.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Itdoesn’
    tmat
    teri
    fNt
    ombi
    speaksornot
    .Shecansi
    tont
    hatsof
    afor
    everi
    fshel
    i
    kes,
    ok’
    sal
    ayoy
    oupeopl
    eknowwher
    eAmar
    aisandwewantherbackorIwi
    l
    lhav
    eyouar
    rest
    ed.
    ”

    Mosesbur
    stsouti
    nascor
    nful
    laughmaki
    ngMhambi
    andPet
    uni
    agl
    anceateachot
    heri
    n
    conf
    usi
    on.

    Ial
    socan’
    tcompr
    ehendhi
    sreasonf
    orl
    aughi
    ng.

    Moses:“
    Hawusukal awena,
    amabhodoay
    ashaekhi
    shi
    niPet
    uni
    a.”(
    Getoutofher
    e.Thef
    oodi
    s
    bur
    ningi
    ntheki
    tchen.)

    Heseemst
    obet
    ickl
    edbyhi
    sret
    ort
    .

    Me:
    “Mosespl
    ease,
    can’
    twe-
    ”

    Moses:“
    WhosaidyoucanspeakNtombi?Uyabonanjengi
    zamaukukhuzausis’
    Petuni
    abut
    youwanttobedi
    ff
    icul
    tnawe.Kant
    iabaf
    azibanj
    anihee?”(
    YoucanseethatI
    ’
    mt r
    yingt
    o
    r
    epri
    mandPetuni
    a.What’
    swr ongwi
    thwomen? )

    Mhambi
    :“Iwanty
    out
    oli
    stent
    omeMoses,
    Iam notl
    eav
    ingt
    hishouseunt
    ilIseeAmar
    a.”

    Moses:“
    Vel
    eveleMhambi,
    Whatdoyouwantf
    rom Amar
    a?Youwantt
    otakeherasy
    oursecond
    wi
    fe?IsPet
    uni
    atoooldf
    oryounow?
    ”

    Ther
    e’sal
    oudgaspi
    nther
    oom andMhambi fall
    sbackonthesof
    aasshocknumbshi
    sbody
    .
    Moseshascr
    ossedl
    imi
    tsi
    nhi
    slifebutt
    hissurpassesal
    loft
    hem,hehasadi
    rtymi
    nd.

    Petuniashakesherheadanddef eated,
    shegoesbackt othekitchen.Mhambi i
    sleftspeechl
    ess,
    hi
    sf aceisexpressionl
    ess.It hinkheisbey ondembar r
    assed,hefoldshi m ar
    msacr osshis
    chestwhileas,Idragmy selft othebedroom.I ’
    m goingtohide,may befortherestofmyl i
    fei
    f
    possibl
    e.Ican’
    tdeal wit
    ht his,Moseswi llsendmei ntoanear l
    ygrav e.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    23*

    NOMBULELO*

    “
    Hey
    ,wel
    comeback.
    ”

    Iwakeupt oseemyf riendKoketsointheroom,Iscanmysurroundi


    ngsandreali
    zethatI
    ’m at
    thehospi
    tal.Ev
    erythi
    ngcomesbackl i
    keawav eandIbursti
    ntoaloudsob,
    mybodyi si
    npain.
    Thenithi
    tsme, mybaby .Zumakickedmeonmyst omach.Myhandsgli
    detomyst omachasI
    prayandhopet hatmybabyi sokay.It
    ’st
    heonlythi
    ngIhaveofhim,theonl
    yevidenceIhaveof
    thelov
    eweonceshar ed.

    Me:
    “Mybaby
    ,mybaby
    .”

    Koket
    sol
    ooksshocked,
    shedoesn’
    tknowwhatt
    odo.

    Idi
    dn’
    ttel
    lherIwaspr
    egnant
    .

    She’
    smybestfri
    end,wemetingradeoneandhav
    ebeeni
    nsepar
    abl
    esi
    nce.Shel
    i
    vesi
    n
    Sebokengwi
    thherparent
    sandtwobrother
    s.

    Kokest
    o:“
    I’
    ll
    gett
    henur
    se.
    ”

    Sherunsoutoftheward,cal
    li
    ngoutfort
    henur
    se.Thet
    houghtofl
    osi
    ngmybabyhur
    tsmor
    e
    thanthephy
    sicalpai
    nthathasengul
    fedmybody.

    Me:
    “Mybaby
    ,nur
    sepl
    ease,
    tel
    lmemybabyi
    sokay
    .”

    Icr
    yasIseehercal
    mlywal
    kinwi
    thKoket
    sonotf
    arbehi
    nd.

    Nur
    se:
    “Rel
    axsi
    si,
    yourbabyi
    sokay
    .”

    Buthe…

    Isawhim,
    Ifel
    tthepai
    nful
    kicksonmyst
    omachashest
    ompedonmewi
    thcl
    ear
    lyanat
    tempt
    toki
    ll
    mybaby.

    Nur
    se:
    “Appar
    ent
    lyt
    hebat
    ter
    ingdi
    dn’
    taf
    fectt
    hebaby
    .It
    ’sami
    racl
    e.”

    IguessI
    ’
    m notascur
    sedasIt
    hought
    .

    Koket
    so:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tknowy
    ouwer
    epr
    egnantLel
    o.Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    me?
    ”

    Shelooksr
    atherhur
    tbythi
    s,whi
    chi
    sst
    range.Cometot
    hinkofit
    ,Ihav
    en’
    tseenherinamont
    h.
    EachtimeIwouldaskt
    hatwemeet,
    shecameupwi t
    hexcuses.I
    tcametoapointofher
    i
    gnoringmymessagesandcall
    s.

    Me:
    “Iwasgoi
    ngt
    otel
    lyou,
    ify
    out
    ookmycal
    l
    s.”

    Koket
    so:
    “Who’
    sthef
    ather
    ?”
    Me:
    “Whoel
    sewoul
    ditbeKoket
    so?I
    t’
    sZuma’
    sbabyhau.
    ”

    Whyi
    sshebeingl
    i
    kethi
    s?Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hewayshe’
    slooki
    ngatme.Herey
    esf
    oll
    owt
    henur
    se
    whoj
    ustwal
    kedoutbef
    oreshet
    urnst
    omewithafrownonherf
    ace.

    Koket
    so:
    “That
    ’si
    mpossi
    bleLel
    o,Zumawoul
    dnev
    ergety
    oupr
    egnant
    .”

    Whatt
    hehel
    ldi
    dshej
    ustsayt
    ome?

    Me:
    “Aski
    es?
    ”(Excuseme?
    )

    Koket
    so:
    “Isai
    dZumawi
    l
    lnev
    er-
    ”

    Me:
    “Wel
    lhedi
    dKoket
    so,
    Iam pr
    egnantwi
    thZuma’
    schi
    l
    d.Whati
    syourpr
    obl
    em?
    ”

    Koket
    so:
    “Mypr
    obl
    em i
    syouLel
    o,y
    out
    hinky
    ouar
    ebet
    tert
    hanev
    ery
    one.
    ”

    Me:
    “Koket
    so,
    wher
    eisthi
    scomi
    ngfrom?Idon’tunder
    standwhyyouar
    ebeinghost
    il
    etowards
    meandwhydi
    dyousayZumawil
    lnevergetmepregnant?Howdoyougett
    osaythesethi
    ngs
    t
    omewhenIdon’
    tshar
    esuchpr
    ivat
    ethingswi
    thyou?”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esandf
    oldsherar
    ms.

    Koket
    so:
    “Het
    oldmet
    hathewi
    l
    lnev
    err
    eleasei
    nsi
    dey
    ou.
    ”

    Mywor
    ldcr
    umbl
    esatt
    hesoundofherwor
    ds.

    What
    ’shappeni
    ng?

    Me:“
    Idon’
    tunder
    stand,whywoul
    dZumabet el
    l
    ingyousucht
    hings?Whywoul
    dheshar
    eour
    mosti
    nti
    matemoment swit
    hyou?Koket
    so,
    what ’
    sgoi
    ngon?”

    Myv
    oicei
    sdemandi
    ngnow,
    shel
    ooksl
    i
    keshedoesn’
    tcar
    ethatshe’
    shur
    ti
    ngme.

    Comet
    othi
    nkofi
    t…

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyout
    heonewhobr
    oughtmeher
    e?”

    Koket
    so:
    “Yes.
    ”

    She’
    ssnobbi
    shandIwanttowipethefl
    oorwi
    thherf
    aceasIhav
    efi
    gur
    edoutwhati
    sreal
    l
    y
    goi
    ngonbut,Iwantt
    ohearhersayit
    .

    Me:
    “Whatwer
    eyoudoi
    ngathi
    shouse?Howdoy
    ouknowwher
    ehel
    i
    ves?
    ”

    Koketso:
    “Ohenough, Zumaismyboyf
    riendokay
    .Hel ov
    esme, wenanjey ouwer
    ejusthi
    sside
    di
    sh.Whodoy outhi
    nkhasbeenkeepi
    nghim warm atni
    ghtwhil
    ey ouhadt or
    unbackhome
    becauseofyourstupidcur
    few?Hewasgoingtodumpy oueventuall
    y,t
    hiswasboundtohappen
    Lel
    o.Lethim go,l
    etthepoorguyl
    i
    vehisli
    fei
    npeace.”

    Sot
    hisi
    swhatl
    i
    fehasi
    nst
    oref
    orme,
    pai
    nandagony
    ?

    Me:“
    Koket
    soyou’
    resupposedtobemyfr
    iend,
    wegr ewuptoget
    her.Weshar
    edbat
    hstoget
    her
    ,I
    wast
    heref
    ory
    ouwheny ourpar
    ent
    sal
    mostdivor
    ced.Youwouldasktosl
    eepatmyhouse
    becauseyoucoul
    dn’
    tst
    andthei
    rbi
    cker
    ing.Yout
    hrowal
    lthatawayf
    oradi
    ckKoket
    so,
    fuck
    ther
    e’ssomanymeninthi
    scountr
    y.Whywouldyougof
    ormi ne?
    ”

    TosayIam hur
    tisanunder
    stat
    ement
    .

    Koket
    so:
    “Isaw,
    Ili
    kedandIt
    ook.Sor
    ryt
    hathet
    hinksI
    ’
    m hot
    tert
    hany
    ou.
    ”

    Me: “
    It
    ’snotevenaboutthatyoustupi
    dbi t
    ch,youplayedme.YouandZumapl
    ayedme, Ican’
    t
    bel
    ieveIdidn’
    tseethi
    scomi ng.Thesocialdi
    stanci
    ng,thebl
    ueti
    cks,
    all
    ofi
    twasbecauseofhim.
    Becauseyouwer ef
    uckingmymanbehi ndmyback? ”

    Koketso:“Yohhaikee,I
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngt
    ir
    edoft
    his.Ihopey
    ougetwel
    lsoonLel
    oandt
    haty
    ouf
    ind
    thefatherofyourbaby
    .”

    Me:
    “Getoutofmyr
    oom s’
    febe.
    ”(Bi
    tch)

    koket
    so:“That’
    srichcomi
    ngfr
    om agi r
    lwhodoesn’
    tknowwhot hefat
    herofherchil
    dis,st
    op
    cl
    aimingsisi
    .Leavemymanalone,orelseI
    ’
    llbur
    nthatugl
    yf aceofyourswit
    hacid.Remember
    howIcastratedmyunclewhomolestedmef ory
    ears?Iam capableofanyt
    hingLel
    o,trymeand
    Iwil
    lshowy ou.”

    Me:
    “Getout
    .”

    Ihat
    eher
    ,Ihat
    emyl
    i
    fe.

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esandl
    eav
    esmecr
    ying.

    Howisi
    tthatIam al
    onei
    nthewor
    ld?Amont
    hagoIwashappy
    ,Iwasl
    ovedandmyf
    utur
    ewas
    l
    ooki
    ngbri
    ght.

    AMARA*

    Chi
    oma:
    “Hey
    ,Ibr
    oughty
    ouanext
    rabl
    anket
    .”

    Chiomadeclar
    esasshewalksin,
    funnysheknockedthi
    sti
    me.Whatwashar dforhert
    odothat
    i
    nthemor ni
    ng?Iam st
    il
    lver
    ymuchembar rassed,
    Icansti
    l
    lfeelhi
    sli
    psonmine.Mybody
    shi
    v er
    soccasi
    onal
    l
    yasmymi ndt
    akesmeback, andthewordsheutt
    eredt
    omest il
    lri
    ngi
    nmy
    mind.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tneedi
    t.
    ”

    Irespondwi t
    houtlooki
    ngather,t
    hisspotbyt
    hewindowhasbecomemyf avour
    it
    espot.I
    somehowf eelatpeacewhenlooki
    ngatnatur
    eoutsi
    de,
    thebri
    ghtgr
    eenleav
    eshav est
    art
    edt
    o
    turnorange.It
    ’sbeauti
    ful
    tol
    ookatandt hebi
    rdsf
    lyi
    ngfr
    eel
    youtsi
    de,Iwi
    shtobeliket
    hem.

    Appar
    ent
    ly,
    breakf
    asti
    sst
    il
    lbr
    oughtt
    other
    oom whi
    l
    eI’
    mfor
    cedt
    ohav
    edi
    nnerwi
    thRandal
    l
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Don’
    tbesi
    l
    ly,
    it’
    swi
    nter
    .Youwi
    l
    lfr
    eezet
    odeat
    h.”
    Thedar
    kanddr
    yday
    sofwi
    nterar
    eappr
    oachi
    ng,
    theni
    ght
    sar
    emuchcol
    derandl
    onger
    .

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’saheat
    eri
    nther
    oom.
    ”

    It
    urnt
    olookather
    ,she’
    sst
    andi
    ngnex
    ttot
    hebedcl
    enchi
    ngonat
    hickgr
    eywi
    nterbl
    anket
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Iknowbut
    ,thet
    emper
    atur
    esdr
    opatni
    ght
    .”

    Shespr
    eadst
    hebl
    anketoutont
    hebed.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryf
    orwhatIdi
    d.”

    Iam soashamed.

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    ’sokay
    ,Iunder
    standy
    ourr
    easons.
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tlookatmeso,
    I’
    m notsur
    eifi
    treal
    l
    yisokay
    .

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma,
    whati
    smehemma?
    ”

    Thi
    shasbeenonmymi
    ndsi
    ncemor
    ning.

    Shel
    ooksatmeandsmi
    l
    es.

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    ’sAkanf
    ormyqueen,
    it’
    sawi
    del
    yspokenl
    anguagei
    nGhana.
    ”

    Me:
    “He’
    sGhanai
    an?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Awav
    eofsi
    l
    encepassest
    hrought
    her
    oom cr
    eat
    ingar
    atheruncomf
    ort
    abl
    eat
    mospher
    e.

    Me:
    “Whydoeshewantt
    oki
    l
    lme?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Who?
    ”

    Shemov
    escl
    oserasshegi
    vesmeani
    ntr
    igui
    ngl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Hi
    m,It
    hinkhewant
    stoki
    l
    lme.Hewant
    stot
    ort
    uremef
    ir
    stbef
    oreheki
    l
    lsme.
    ”

    Ir
    eveal
    whatIsuspectt
    obet
    het
    rut
    h.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Randal
    lwi
    l
    lnev
    erhur
    tyou,
    he’
    snotl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .NotmyUze.
    ”

    Me:“SadlyChi
    oma,behi
    ndav ei
    lofnor
    mal
    cyl
    i
    esapassionf
    ormurder
    .Ihav
    eseenhi
    s
    out
    bursts,t
    hewayhelooksatmewhenhe’
    sangr
    y.Thatmanwant
    smedead. ”

    “
    Whowant
    syoudead?
    ”

    Ijer
    kupatthesoundofRandal
    l
    ’sinqui
    sit
    ivev
    oice,
    Iturntoseehi
    m st
    andi
    ngrightbehi
    ndme.
    There’
    sapuckerbet
    weenhiseyebrowsandIam confusedastowhet
    herhe’
    supsetorhur
    t,hi
    s
    faceismy
    steri
    ousatthi
    smoment .

    Randal
    l
    :“Whowant
    syoudeadpr
    incess?
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sashebendsov
    erbr
    ingi
    nghi
    sfacet
    omi
    ne.Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingabouthi
    sey
    est
    hat
    f
    orcey
    out
    oleeri
    ntot
    hem,
    Imov
    emyheadt
    othesi
    dewhenhi
    snoseal
    mostt
    ouchesmi
    ne.

    Hecontinuesany way,sl
    ight
    lypressi
    nghisforeheadont hesideofmyf ace.Ishutmyey esand
    hopethatthisendsnow, Chiomai sher
    eandt hisisasembar rassi
    ngasthismor ni
    ng’sevents.I
    hearhim snif
    fasifbreathi
    ngmei nbeforesomet hingcoldandsofttugsatmycheek, inst
    antlyI
    knowit’
    shi sli
    ps.Ir
    ecognizethem from t
    hatdayt heycl
    aimedmyneckandt hi
    smor ni
    ngev en
    thoughitwasf oramer emoment .

    Ishi
    verandj
    umpt
    omyf
    eet
    .

    Ilookuponlyt
    ofindhi
    m st
    ari
    ngbackatme,
    Heramshishandsint
    oispocket
    sandr
    ightt
    hen,
    thedaunt
    ingimageappear
    smakinghi
    mlookal
    mostl
    i
    keagi ant
    .

    Randal
    :“Forhowlongwi
    lly
    oudwellonthi
    sabsur
    dfant
    asyt
    hatIam af
    teryourli
    fe?Youarenot
    goi
    ngtodie,Igowherey
    ougo.Evenifdeat
    hhappenst
    ocome,we’
    llembraceittoget
    her
    .”

    Mybloodr
    unscoldashiswordsdecl
    aremeweakandov
    erpower
    ed.Il
    ookawayf
    rom hi
    m,
    t
    ryi
    ngtocont
    rol
    myr aci
    ngheart
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    opf
    ight
    ingt
    hismehemma.
    ”(Myqueen)

    Me:
    “Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Isnapathi
    m, helooksshockedbymyr ipost
    e.Hef
    rowns,tur
    nshi
    sgazetol
    ookatChi
    omawho
    hasn’
    tsai
    dany t
    hingsincehewalkedin.Heknowsthatonl
    yshecoul
    dtel
    lmethemeani
    ng,
    Chiomadropsherheadshamef ul
    ly.

    Randal
    ll
    ooksbackatmeandsmi
    rks,
    wit
    houtawor
    d,het
    urnsandsaunt
    ersoutoft
    her
    oom.
    Leavi
    ngmewinded.

    Ihadbeenhol
    dingmybr
    eat
    h.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    InodasIgr
    abagl
    assofwat
    erandgul
    pitdowni
    nonego.

    Me:
    “Whyi
    shel
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ican’
    tanswert
    hatf
    ory
    oubut
    ,you’
    l
    lfi
    gur
    eitoutoneday
    .”

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,Idon’
    tpl
    anonst
    ayi
    ngf
    ort
    hatl
    ong.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Hewi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    ety
    ougoAmar
    a,Randal
    lnev
    ergoesbackonhi
    swor
    d.”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lleav
    ethi
    spl
    aceChi
    oma,
    onewayoranot
    her
    .”

    Therei
    sanotherwayandRandal
    lmightbeal
    lthatbutthi
    stime,
    hewon’tbeabl
    et odoany
    thi
    ng
    abouti
    t.Iwi
    l
    l goawayfr
    om hi
    mf or
    everandhe’
    llbelef
    twithnochoi
    cebuttowatchmeasI
    l
    eavehim.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    24*

    RANDALL*

    Il
    eav
    ether
    oom t
    obef
    oll
    owedbyChi
    omaasIappr
    oacht
    hebot
    tom oft
    hest
    air
    s.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingy
    ouneedt
    oknow.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    mli
    steni
    ng.
    ”

    Shef
    oll
    owsmet
    othef
    oyer
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Amar
    asai
    dsomet
    hingt
    hatmademet
    hinkshe’
    l
    ltr
    ytoescapeagai
    n.”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sal
    li
    nhermi
    nd,
    she’
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Thatgi
    rli
    ssmar
    tUzeandshe’
    sadamantonl
    eav
    ingt
    hispl
    ace.
    ”

    Ist
    opasIt
    urnedt
    oher
    ,I’
    m metbyherwor
    ri
    edexpr
    essi
    on.

    Me:
    “Smar
    tornot
    ,shewon’
    tsl
    i
    poutofmyhandst
    hist
    ime.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Somet
    hingt
    ell
    smet
    hatshe’
    spl
    anni
    ngsomet
    hing,
    Ihav
    eabadf
    eel
    i
    ngaboutt
    hisUze.
    ”

    Me:“Whatcouldshepossi
    blybeplanni
    ng?Amar
    aisnotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    eChi
    oma,
    Iwi
    l
    lsmel
    lher
    bef
    oreshestepsoutofthedoor.
    ”

    Iassur
    eher
    ,myphonesr
    ingsassheopenshermout
    htospeak.

    Me:
    “Excuseme,
    Ihav
    etot
    aket
    his.
    ”

    Shenodsandwal
    ksaway
    .

    Me:
    “Ol
    i
    viawhatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”

    She’
    sbeenbl
    owi
    ngmyphonesi
    ncemor
    ning.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Youneedt
    ocomet
    othehospi
    tal
    ,Li
    yanai
    saski
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lbet
    her
    elat
    er.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Thedoct
    orsai
    dwecant
    akeherhomet
    oday
    .”

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    Iwasatt
    hehospi
    tal
    thi
    smor
    ning.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    me?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ihav
    ebet
    tert
    hingst
    odowi
    thmyt
    imet
    hanr
    unaf
    tery
    ou.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Ar
    eyoust
    il
    lupsetaboutl
    astni
    ght
    ?Real
    l
    yRandal
    l
    ?Josephi
    sinj
    ail
    ,andLi
    yai
    sal
    i
    ve.
    Whyar
    eyoust
    il
    lgr
    umpy
    ?”

    Me:“Howdoesitf
    eelt
    obest
    upi
    dOl i
    via?Doyouexpectmetocongr
    atul
    atey
    ouf
    orput
    ti
    ngmy
    daught
    er’
    sli
    fei
    ndanger
    ?Iwi
    l
    lneverforgi
    vey
    ouforwhatyoudid.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Li
    yanai
    smybaby
    ,Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erdoany
    thi
    ngt
    oher
    .”

    I
    ssheki
    ddi
    ngme?

    Me:
    “Goodby
    eOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Wai
    t,ar
    eyoucomi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Di
    dInotsayI
    ’
    llbet
    her
    e.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Wel
    l
    ,youneedt
    ocomenowRandal
    l
    .Yourdaught
    erneedsy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tev
    ert
    ell
    mewhatt
    odo.
    ”

    Shesi
    ghsdeepl
    y.

    Oli
    vi
    a:“
    Look,I
    ’
    mjustwor
    ri
    edaboutourchi
    l
    d.Idon’
    twanthert
    obedi
    sappoi
    ntedbyy
    ounot
    bei
    nghere.
    ”

    Me:
    “Hav
    eIev
    erdi
    sappoi
    ntedherbef
    ore?
    ”

    Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sshet
    ryi
    ngt
    odo?

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “ThencomeRandal
    l
    ”

    Shecr
    acksandt
    hatj
    ustaggr
    avat
    esme.

    Me:
    “Ol
    i
    viaIsai
    dIwi
    l
    lcome,
    mustIdr
    opev
    ery
    thi
    ngaty
    ourcal
    l
    ?”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Youshoul
    ddr
    opev
    ery
    thi
    ngf
    orLi
    ya.
    ”

    Sheshout
    s.

    Me:
    “Iam notJoseph,
    youdonotgett
    ospeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Howdi
    dithappent
    hatIhadt
    ocr
    osspat
    hswi
    thherofal
    lpeopl
    e.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whati
    ssoi
    mpor
    tantt
    haty
    ourdaught
    erhast
    ocomesecond?
    ”

    Me:
    “Howdar
    eyout
    alkt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”

    Iy
    apather
    .

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyousobentonannoy
    ingmeOl
    i
    via?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “I’
    mjustwor
    ri
    edaboutLi
    ya,
    shewant
    stoseey
    ouRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:“
    Idon’
    tneedpar
    ent
    ingadv
    icef
    rom y
    ou,
    donotcal
    lmyphonei
    fyouhav
    enot
    hingbet
    tert
    o
    sayt
    ome.”

    I
    ’
    m donewi
    tht
    hatwoman.Thener
    veshehast
    ochal
    l
    engeme,
    andi
    mpl
    ythatIdonotcar
    e
    aboutmychi
    l
    d.Iwi
    l
    ltakeLi
    yanaf
    rom herandshewon’
    tbeabl
    etodoany
    thi
    ngabouti
    t.

    Ideci
    det
    ogocheckonAmar abefor
    eIleavethehouse,whatChiomasaiddi
    dn’tsi
    tinwel
    lwith
    me.Whatcoul
    dshebeplanni
    ng?Iwouldhateforhertotr
    yanythingt
    hatwil
    lgetheri
    ntot
    rouble
    wit
    hme,nothi
    ngcankeepherawayfrom me,notevenher.

    Iwal
    kint
    ohersl
    eepi
    ngpeacef
    ull
    yandwal
    kbackoutsoIdon’
    tdi
    stur
    bher
    .

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “Iswearbaby
    ,dr
    agmet
    oanot
    herst
    oreandIwi
    l
    lleav
    eyouher
    e.”

    We’
    vebeenati
    tforhour
    snow.

    Khethu:“
    Onlyyouwoul
    dsayt
    hatandy
    oushoul
    dn’
    t,
    onewoul
    dthi
    nkt
    hisi
    syourf
    ir
    stt
    imei
    na
    rel
    ati
    onship.
    ”

    Me:
    “Expl
    ain.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:“Al
    lmenhateshoppingbuti
    nsteadofv
    oici
    ngi
    tout
    ,theybar
    ethet
    ort
    urebuty
    ouMr
    .
    Si
    shi
    ,speakwi
    thoutacareintheworl
    d.”

    Shesay
    sasshepul
    l
    smei
    ntoanot
    hercl
    othi
    ngst
    ore.

    Isweari
    twi
    l
    lbeami
    racl
    eifI
    ’
    m seenatamal
    lagai
    nwi
    thKhet
    hu.

    Me:
    “Iam notal
    lmen.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Mypoi
    ntexact
    ly.Whatdoy
    out
    hinkaboutt
    hisski
    rt
    ?”

    Whyam Iher
    eagai
    n?

    Shehol
    dsi
    tup,
    looki
    ngatmel
    i
    kemyopi
    nionmat
    ter
    stoher
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’saski
    rt
    .”

    Ishr
    ug.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iknowy
    oudon’
    twantt
    obeher
    ebutal
    i
    ttl
    eent
    husi
    asm woul
    dbeni
    ce.
    ”

    Me:“
    Baby,
    Idon’
    tdoshoppi
    ng.AndwhydoIf
    eel
    li
    ket
    hisi
    sapuni
    shment
    ?Di
    dIdosomet
    hing
    wr
    ong?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Spendi
    ngt
    imewi
    thmei
    sapuni
    shment
    ?”

    Sheseemsabi
    thur
    tbyt
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tsayt
    hat
    .”

    Sheturnstoputitbackontheshel
    f,andshriekswhenanoddlooki
    ngmanbumpsi nt
    oher.I
    grabholdofherhandprevent
    ingherfrom f
    alli
    ngwhil
    e,t
    hei
    diotcont
    inuesonasi
    fnothi
    ng
    happened.

    Me:
    “Hey
    .”

    HepacesonasIcal
    loutt
    ohi
    m.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesdon’
    t.
    ”

    Shesaysbutit
    ’stoolate,
    I’
    m alreadyaft
    ertheguy.Thestorei
    scrowdedandhe’ sdodgi
    ng
    peopl
    ewhiletr
    yingtoescapef r
    om me, heincr
    easeshisstepanddisappear
    si nt
    othecr
    owd
    walki
    nginandoutoft hedoor.Ipavethroughthem t
    il
    lI’
    m out
    sidet
    hest or
    e,there’
    snowayIwi
    l
    l
    spothi
    mi nthi
    scrowdedmal l
    .

    Shi
    t!Khet
    hu.

    Ithi
    nktomyselfandhur
    rybackinsi
    de,If
    indherf
    rozenwhil
    eleer
    ingdownatsomepi
    eceof
    paper.Shel
    ooksupandI’m metbyhergl
    ossyeyesbeingbul
    li
    edbytear
    s.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Sheext
    endsherhand,
    giv
    ingmet
    hepi
    eceofnot
    e.

    I
    treads<<<Occhi
    operocchi
    o>>>(
    Aney
    eforaney
    e)

    Fr
    anco,
    I’
    dbedamned.

    Khet
    ho:
    “Whati
    sthi
    sSt
    yles?Ar
    eyoubacki
    ntot
    hatl
    i
    fe?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”

    Iknowexact
    lywhatshe’
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Wow.
    ”

    Me:
    “Canwegohomepl
    ease.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:“I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ouunt
    ily
    out
    ell
    mewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Whatdoest
    his
    mean?”

    Me:“Whatmakesyout
    hinkt
    hisi
    sforme?Youpi
    ckedi
    tupf
    rom t
    hef
    loordi
    dn’
    tyou?I
    tcoul
    d
    bel
    ongtoanyone.
    ”

    Khethu:“I
    ’
    m notst
    upi
    dStyl
    es,t
    hatmanwhor
    ani
    ntomedr
    oppedt
    hisnot
    e.Youwentaf
    terhi
    m
    forareasonandIdemandtoknowwhat
    .”

    Herat
    ti
    tudei
    sbegi
    nni
    ngt
    oshowandpeopl
    ear
    est
    ari
    ng.

    Me:
    “I’
    m nothav
    inganar
    gumentwi
    thy
    oui
    npubl
    i
    c.”

    Khethu:“
    Ther edoesn’
    thav et
    obeanar gument,
    justt
    ellmethet
    ruth.Wher
    edidyougolast
    nightSt
    yles?Whatisitthatyoudid,
    thatbr
    okeyousomuch?Di dyoukil
    lpeopl
    e?Randal
    lsent
    youtokil
    l someonedidn’the?Iknowhe’sacri
    minaland…”

    Ichuckl
    eindi
    sbel
    i
    ef.Khet
    huwi
    l
    lnev
    erchange,
    Idon’
    tknowhowIl
    etheri
    mpudencegett
    hisf
    ar.
    Nowshet
    hinksshecanspeakt
    omeany
    wayshel
    i
    kes.

    Istuf
    fmyhandinmypocketandcomeoutwiththecarkey
    s,It
    hrowt
    hem atherandwal
    kaway
    .
    I’
    m doneent
    ert
    aini
    ngheri
    mpudenceandat
    ti
    tude.

    NKOMO*

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkIwoul
    dfi
    ndRandal
    lsi
    tt
    ingcomf
    ort
    abl
    yinmyhouse,
    he’
    sev
    enhel
    pedhi
    msel
    fwi
    th
    mywhiskey.

    Randal
    l:
    “It
    houghty
    oumi
    ghtwantsomeonetowelcomey
    ouhome,
    ther
    e’snot
    hingwor
    set
    han
    cominghometoanempt
    yhouse,
    don’
    tyouthi
    nk?”

    I’
    m standi
    ngi
    nthedoorway
    ,thedoori
    sst
    il
    lopen.Onemov
    efr
    om hi
    m andIwi
    l
    lbeabl
    eto
    escape.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyougeti
    nher
    e?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Doesi
    tmat
    ter
    ?”

    Hegetsupandambl estowardsme,hi
    sey esar
    eli
    ketheey
    esofahunterwho’
    sjustspot
    tedhi
    s
    nextpr
    ey.Iseer
    ageandf ur
    yinthem.Sty
    leswarnedmetostaycl
    ear
    ,Randal
    lOkol
    iedoesn’
    t
    for
    getnordoesheforgi
    ve.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youl
    ookbet
    ter
    .”

    Ishr
    ug.

    Randal
    l
    :“Tel
    lmeNkomo,
    howdoy
    our
    eal
    l
    yfeel
    consi
    der
    ingt
    haty
    ouwer
    ehospi
    tal
    i
    zed?
    ”

    He’
    sloopi
    ngaroundmeashesaysthi
    s,If
    eelhisheav
    ypresenceandIhat
    etoadmi
    tthati
    t’
    snot
    ani
    cefeel
    ing.If
    li
    nchatt
    hesoundoft
    hebangingdoor.

    Hestopsatmysi
    l
    ence-t
    il
    tshi
    sheadt
    othesi
    de,
    scowl
    sbef
    oreagutknot
    ti
    ngsl
    ygr
    inembr
    aces
    hi
    sface.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ar
    eyour
    eal
    l
    y,goi
    ngt
    oletmer
    epeatmy
    sel
    f?”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sghost
    ly,
    mymi
    ndi
    sci
    rcl
    i
    ngar
    oundt
    hedoorbuthewi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmebef
    oreImakei
    tout
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m okay
    .”

    Thist
    imemyjawiscl
    enchedasangerhasconsumedme, Ihatethathei
    mpart
    sfeari
    nme.I
    grewupwi
    ththi
    sman,wewer ei
    nthesamecal i
    bre.So,
    thefactt
    hathedominat
    edussti
    l
    l
    puzzl
    esme.

    Randal
    l
    :“You’
    reokay
    ?”
    Henodsaf
    ewt
    imes.Idon’
    tseeRandal
    lany
    mor
    ebutScar
    ,themer
    cil
    essbast
    ard.

    Randal
    l
    :“Doy
    out
    hinkAmar
    aisokay
    ,af
    terwhaty
    oudi
    dtoher
    ?”

    Igul
    pasIdi
    dnotexpecthi
    mtoaskmet
    hat
    ,mysi
    l
    enceappear
    stobef
    uel
    l
    inghi
    sanger
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Doy
    ouwantmet
    omakey
    out
    alkNkomo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Getoutofher
    eScar
    .”

    Ihav
    etodi
    smi
    sshi
    m bef
    oreheput
    sabul
    l
    ett
    hroughmyhead.Het
    hrowsmeasmugsmi
    l
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“What
    ’swr
    ongNkomo?You’
    resweat
    ing.
    ”

    Andmyhearti
    spal
    pit
    ati
    ngagainstmychest
    ,Icanalmostfeel
    itst
    hudi
    nmyt
    hroat
    .If
    li
    ngmy
    handt
    owipethedr
    ibsofsweatloi
    ter
    ingonmyforehead.

    Me:
    “Look,
    I’
    m sor
    ryaboutwhatIdi
    d,okay
    ?Idon’
    tknowwhatcameov
    erme.
    ..
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youst
    il
    lhav
    en’
    tanswer
    edme.Howdoy
    out
    hinkAmar
    aisdoi
    ng?
    ”

    Hefol
    dshi
    sar
    msacrosshi
    schest
    ,apuckergr
    owsbet
    weenhi
    sey
    ebr
    ows.Thi
    smeanshe’
    s
    gr
    owingi
    mpat
    ient
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow.
    ”

    It
    akeast
    epbackt
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Hest
    aresdagger
    satme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youdon’
    tknow?
    ”

    Randall
    issoft
    -spokenbutthatshoul
    dnotbemistakenf
    ormodest
    y.I
    nsi
    de,
    hei
    sar
    oar
    ingl
    i
    on
    andthat’
    sthemostnerve-r
    ackingthi
    ngabouthi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iam sodi
    sappoi
    ntedi
    nyouNkomo.Youhav
    epr
    ovedt
    haty
    ouar
    eyourf
    ather
    ’sson.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam not
    hingl
    i
    ket
    hatmonst
    er.
    ”

    Ibar
    kathi
    m andher
    aiseshi
    sey
    ebr
    owsdi
    sbel
    i
    evi
    ngl
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iam notconv
    inced.
    ”

    Heturnsar
    oundandsaunt
    ersaboutt
    heloungebef
    orepouri
    nghi
    mselfanothergl
    assofwhi
    skey
    .
    Ihadanopport
    uni
    tyt
    ostri
    kehimfrom t
    hebackbutthatwoul
    dbesui
    cide.

    Me:
    “Icanhel
    pyout
    akehi
    m down.
    ”

    Ihav
    eonl
    yhissi
    devi
    ewasIwatchhi
    mr ai
    set
    heglasswit
    hthegoldenli
    qui
    d-st
    ir
    sabit
    ,takesa
    si
    p,t
    henl
    ooksatmebef
    oredr
    awinghi
    seyesbacktothegl
    ass.Heindul
    gesonanot
    hersip.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatmakesy
    out
    hinkIcan’
    tdoi
    tmy
    sel
    f?”

    Me:“
    Iknowyoucanbut
    ,youhav
    esomet hi
    ngv
    aluabl
    etoprotectandIcangety
    ouwhaty
    ou
    want
    .Hewantsmebackhome,I
    ’l
    lappr
    oachhi
    mi nthepr
    etextthatI
    ’m comi
    nghome.
    ”
    Heturnst
    ome, wit
    hthegl
    assst
    il
    li
    nhand,hepl
    ungest
    heot
    herhandi
    ntohi
    spocket
    .Knowi
    ng
    Scar
    ,anyt
    hingcancomeoutoft
    hatpocket
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m notst
    upidNkomo,Iknowt
    hatusel
    essf
    atherofy
    our
    swi
    l
    lnotal
    l
    owy
    oubacki
    nto
    hi
    shome.Hedoesn’tgi
    veashi
    tabouty
    ou,Ihav
    eseenit.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,youdi
    dn’
    tseehi
    m whenhecamet
    ovi
    sitmeatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”

    Hesmi
    rks,
    somet
    hingt
    ell
    smeheknowsaboutt
    hatv
    isi
    t.

    Randal
    l
    :“Cont
    inue.
    ”

    Me:
    “Heseemeddesper
    atef
    ormet
    ocomeback,
    Ithi
    nkhewant
    smet
    ohel
    phi
    m dest
    royy
    ou.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“Isee.
    ”

    Icl
    earmyt
    hroat
    .

    Howi
    nti
    midat
    ingcant
    hismanget
    ?

    Me:
    “Icanhel
    pScar
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Hescof
    fssof
    tl
    yyetwi
    thsomuchaut
    hor
    it
    y.

    Itakeastepbackasheambl estowardsme, Ihav


    et ostopact
    ingli
    keacoward.Thi
    smanf eeds
    onf ear
    ,he’
    sprobablyhavi
    ngatimeofhislif
    e.Hereachesformycheekandplaceshishand
    ri
    ghtbelowmyear ,hiscol
    deyesarepier
    cingdeepintomysoul.Anythi
    ngcanhappennow,I
    couldlosemylif
    eint hebl
    i
    nkofaney e.

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    tgoany
    wher
    eNkomo.I
    ’
    m wat
    chi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”

    Helightl
    ysl
    apsmycheekt
    hreet
    imes,
    it’
    spai
    nful
    butIt
    akei
    t.Hehandsmet
    hegl
    assof
    unf
    inishedwhi
    skey
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“That
    ’sgoodst
    uff
    .”

    Hecompl
    i
    ment
    s.

    Andwi
    tht
    hat
    ,hewal
    ksout

    Shi
    t!

    Tobecont
    inued…
    25*

    AMARA*

    If
    eel
    someonenudgemeasI
    ’
    mlosti
    nast
    ackofwor
    ri
    es.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Youdi
    dn’
    trespondwhenIknocked.What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    That
    ’sar
    het
    ori
    cal
    quest
    ion.

    Me:
    “I’
    mti
    redofbei
    ngher
    e,I
    ’
    mti
    redofbei
    ngl
    ockedup.Ican’
    tst
    andi
    tany
    mor
    eChi
    oma.
    ”

    Ipr
    otest
    .

    Shesighsasshegr absachai randsitsopposit


    eme, webothlookoutsidethewindow,withno
    wordssai d.Justthewinterafter
    noonsunpour i
    ngt hroughthewindowandki ssi
    ngmyski n.Thi
    s
    room,theat mosphereandt hescener yout
    sidemightbeper fectf
    orsomeonewhoact uall
    y
    wantstobeher e.But
    ,forakeptper sonli
    keme, it
    ’sapr i
    sonadornedwithbeauti
    fulornaments.
    Myhear tmi sseshomeandt heonesIcallmyown, Imisshavingthesenseofbelonging.But
    ,I
    am surroundedbyf acesmyhear tdoesnotrecognizeandtheonlythingIcanthi
    nkofi s
    escapi
    ng.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Won’
    tyougi
    vehi
    m achance?Hewant
    stot
    akecar
    eofy
    ou.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mjol
    tedbackbyherquest
    ion.

    Me:“Whatgav
    ehi
    mthei
    mpr
    essi
    ont
    hatIneedt
    obet
    akencar
    eof
    ?Howdoesheknowme
    any
    way?”

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    oldy
    ou,
    ther
    ear
    ethi
    ngst
    hatonl
    yhecant
    ell
    you.
    ”

    Me:“
    Buthe’
    snotsay
    inganyt
    hing,
    hedoesn’
    ttel
    lmewhyI
    ’
    m her
    e.Al
    lhedoesi
    slookatmewi
    th
    l
    usti
    fnotr
    age,
    heisnothi
    ngbutabeast
    .”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Thati
    snott
    rueAmar
    a.”

    Me:
    “Whati
    sthet
    rut
    hChi
    oma?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ican’
    tsay
    .”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhyIev
    enbot
    hert
    alki
    ngt
    oyou,
    he’
    syourbossr
    ight
    ?So,
    clear
    ly,
    youar
    eloy
    al
    t
    ohim.”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Icar
    eabouty
    out
    oo.
    ”

    Ihuf
    fatherwor
    ds.

    Me:“Youdon’
    tknowmeenought
    ocar
    eforme.WhatIsayr
    eal
    l
    ydoesn’
    tmat
    terbecauseI
    ’
    ma
    st
    rangert
    oyou.”
    Chi
    oma:
    “Okay
    ,tel
    lmeonet
    hingt
    hatRandal
    lhasdonet
    hathasst
    oodoutf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Whatissheonabout?Shelooksatme,
    eager
    lywait
    ingformyanswer.Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    osay
    ,
    Ihav
    en’tbeenar
    oundhimlongenoughtonot
    icet
    het hi
    ngshedoes.

    Butt
    her
    eisoneort
    wo.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Wel
    l
    ?”

    Me:
    “Hesav
    edmef
    rom t
    hisguywhowant
    edt
    o…”

    Ican’
    tbr
    ingmy
    sel
    ftosay
    ingi
    t,mybl
    oodboi
    l
    swhenIt
    hinkt
    hatIwasal
    mostr
    aped.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Di
    dyouseeabeastwhenhesav
    edy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whenhewasat
    tacki
    nghi
    myesbut
    ..
    ”

    Shoul
    dIr
    eal
    l
    ybesay
    inggoodt
    hingsabouthi
    m?Thesamemanwhohaskeptmepr
    isoner
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Butwhat
    ?”

    Me:“Idon’
    tknow,I
    ’
    m overwhel
    medbyev
    ery
    thi
    ngandIdon’tknowanythi
    nganymor
    e.I’
    m noti
    n
    aspacewhereIcantr
    ustpeopl
    eandasf
    arasRandal
    lgoes,Idon’
    tseehi
    m assomeonewho
    wantstoprot
    ectmebut,amonster
    .”

    Shedoesn’
    tlookhappywi
    thmyr
    esponse.

    Wef
    all
    int
    oanot
    herepi
    sodeofsi
    l
    ence.

    RANDALL*

    St
    ylespul
    l
    supj
    ustasIdr
    ivei
    n.

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hatl
    ookony
    ourf
    ace.
    ”

    Hedecl
    aresasIappr
    oachhi
    m,wewal
    ktoget
    heri
    ntot
    hehouse.

    Me:
    “Whatl
    ook?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Thatl
    ook,
    yourey
    esar
    ecol
    d.Di
    dAmar
    atr
    ytoescapeagai
    n?”

    Me:
    “Shewoul
    dn’
    tdar
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Thenwhati
    sit
    ?Youar
    epl
    anni
    ngsomet
    hingandi
    t’
    sdar
    k.”

    Me:
    “Iwentt
    oseeNkomo.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ?Pl
    easet
    ell
    mey
    oudi
    dn’
    tki
    l
    lhi
    m.It
    oldt
    hathal
    fwi
    ttogoi
    ntohi
    ding.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youknow,
    somet
    imesIwonderwher
    eyourl
    oyal
    tyl
    i
    es.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wel
    l
    ,st
    opwonder
    ingbecauseIam her
    e.Thatshoul
    dtel
    lyousomet
    hing.
    ”
    Hef
    oll
    owsmet
    otheki
    tchenandst
    opsatt
    heent
    rance.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Hel
    ooksspooked.

    St
    yles:
    “Whatar
    ewedoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Togetsomet
    hingt
    oeat
    ,I’
    m hungr
    y.”

    St
    yles:
    “Ihav
    enev
    erseeny
    oui
    ntheki
    tchenbef
    ore,
    bruh,
    cany
    ouev
    enboi
    lwat
    er?
    ”

    Ishootacol
    dst
    areathi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “No,ser
    iousl
    y.Apri
    ncedoesnotmakehi
    sownfood.Iwoul
    dn’
    tbesur
    pri
    sedi
    fyou
    br
    ainwashedChiomaint
    odoingourchor
    esbackt
    hen.
    ”

    Me:
    “May
    beIf
    eltsor
    ryf
    ory
    ousi
    nce,
    youdi
    dev
    ery
    thi
    ngbyy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Shi
    t!Thatusedt
    opi
    ssmeof
    f.Youwer
    eonel
    azymot
    her
    fucker
    .”

    Me:
    “St
    oppl
    ayi
    ngandt
    akeasi
    t.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    shandsdef
    ensi
    vel
    yashel
    aughsbef
    oreambl
    i
    ngt
    oachai
    r.

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyoul
    i
    kesomet
    hing?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “IfIwantsomet
    hingt
    oeat
    ,Iwi
    l
    lmakei
    tmy
    sel
    f.Idon’
    twantt
    odi
    eoff
    oodpoi
    soni
    ng.
    ”

    Igi
    vehi
    mthemi
    ddl
    efi
    ngerandheshakeshi
    shead.

    St
    yles:
    “So,
    whatdi
    dyoudowi
    thhi
    sbody
    ?”

    Me:
    “He’
    sst
    il
    lal
    i
    ve,
    fornow.Hewant
    stohel
    pinbr
    ingi
    ngdownhi
    sfat
    her
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m notsur
    pri
    sed,
    hehat
    est
    hatf
    ucker
    .”

    Me:“Iknowbutremember
    ,heal
    way
    shaddaddyi
    ssues.Whati
    stosayt
    hat
    ,hewon’
    ttur
    nonus
    att
    hel astmi
    nut
    e?”

    St
    yles:
    “Ther
    eisapossi
    bil
    i
    ty.
    ”

    Iset
    tl
    eopposi
    tehi
    m wi
    thapl
    ateofcheesesandwi
    ch,
    hef
    rownsatmyf
    ood.

    Me:
    “Sav
    eit
    .”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “LookwhatIhav
    e.”

    Heshowsmeachi
    p,t
    hesi
    zeofami
    crosi
    m.Igi
    vehi
    m ani
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    ook.

    St
    yles:
    “Thisi
    sachip,al
    lwehavet
    odoisi
    nser
    tthi
    sinMkhi
    ze’
    sphone.I
    twil
    lgi
    veusaccesst
    o
    hi
    semai l
    s,t
    extmessagesandwe’
    l
    lbeabl
    etor
    ecordev
    erycal
    lhemakes.
    ”
    Me:
    “But
    ,howar
    ewegoi
    ngt
    odot
    hat
    ?It
    ’snotl
    i
    kehe’
    l
    lhandov
    erhi
    sphonet
    ouswi
    thasmi
    l
    e.”

    St
    yles:
    “Ihav
    eapl
    anandi
    t’
    sal
    readyi
    npr
    ogr
    ess.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Ihav
    ehear
    dthatl
    i
    nebef
    oreandhenev
    erdi
    sappoi
    nts.

    Sty
    les:“
    Hisf
    ir
    stwi
    fei
    ssi
    ckso,
    Mkhi
    zehashi
    redal
    i
    ve-
    innur
    set
    olookaf
    terher
    .That
    ’swher
    e
    Kazicomesi
    n.”

    Me:
    “Kazi
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Si
    sikazi
    Shezi
    ,shewor
    kshandi
    nhandwi
    thMbuso.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sbl
    ank,
    sor
    ry.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Fuck!Br
    uh,
    youoncet
    appedher
    .”

    I
    t’
    sei
    therhe’
    scr
    azyorI
    ’
    mlosi
    ngmymemor
    y.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    enocl
    uewhoshei
    s.”

    Hel
    aughsandI
    ’
    mir
    kedbyal
    loft
    his.

    Styl
    es:“
    Youareamanwhor
    eRandal
    lOkol
    i
    e.Howmanygi
    rl
    shav
    eyouf
    uckedandcan’
    trecal
    l
    thei
    rnames?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tasknames.What
    ’st
    hepoi
    nti
    fIwi
    l
    lnev
    erseet
    hem agai
    n?”

    St
    yles:
    “Li
    keIsai
    d,manwhor
    e.”

    Me:
    “Cal
    lmeamanwhor
    eagai
    nandIwi
    l
    lshov
    ethi
    ssandwi
    chdowny
    ourt
    hroat
    .”

    Hel
    aughswhi
    l
    epassi
    ngmeapi
    eceofpaper
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’st
    his?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Yourf
    ri
    endFr
    anco,
    he’
    sst
    il
    ladamantont
    eami
    ngupwi
    thMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whydi
    dyouspar
    ehi
    sli
    feany
    way
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Deat
    hisaneasywayoutf
    ort
    hatbaboon,
    weneedt
    omakehi
    m suf
    ferf
    ir
    st.
    ”

    Me:
    “Isay
    ,wet
    aket
    hem downonceandf
    oral
    l
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “HencetheplanIor
    chest
    rat
    ed.Thisi
    sgoingt
    obefun,wearegoi
    ngtoat
    tackwhenthey
    l
    eastexpecti
    t.YouknowMkhizeact
    uall
    ygri
    nnedwhenIwarnedhi
    mt ost
    ayawayfrom Amar
    a.”

    Me:“I
    t’
    ssoli
    kehim,t
    hatsmugbast
    ard.Lett
    hem comeatmewi
    thev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    heygot
    ,Iwi
    l
    l
    f
    ightt
    hem t
    il
    ldeat
    h.”

    St
    yles:
    “Onl
    y,i
    twi
    l
    lbet
    hei
    rdeat
    h.”

    Me:
    “You’
    redamnr
    ight
    .”
    St
    yles:
    “Lett
    hegamesbegi
    n.”

    Hechuckl
    esasher
    ubshi
    shandst
    oget
    her
    .

    Hi
    sphoner
    ings,
    hel
    ooksati
    tandr
    eject
    sthecal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Won’
    tyout
    aket
    hat
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Andhav
    ehert
    alkt
    omel
    i
    keI
    ’
    m herf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youar
    eherf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Apai
    nedexpr
    essi
    onshadowshi
    sface.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m hermanbef
    oret
    hat
    .DoInotatl
    eastdeser
    veherr
    espect
    ?”

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dshedo?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    ogeti
    ntoi
    treal
    l
    y.”

    Hedismisses,
    Idon’
    tknowwhyIst
    il
    lbot
    heraski
    ng.Henev
    erdi
    scl
    osesmuchabouthi
    s
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    p.

    KHETHU*

    Styl
    esiscomplet
    elyignor
    ingmycall
    s,Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evehe’
    sdoi
    ngthi
    stomeagain.Nobayenihas
    beenjudgingmesincetheygother
    e,Idon’
    tknowwhydadbr
    oughtheral
    ongandhedidn’tt
    ell
    met hatshewascomi ng.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Forhowl
    ongwi
    l
    lthatboymakeuswai
    t?”

    She’sbeensippingonwinesincet
    heygotheretwohoursago,
    Ithi
    nkshe’
    sdr
    unknow.Sheev
    en
    tookoffherhil
    lsandst
    retchedherfeetoutonmywhit
    ecouch.

    Myf
    atherkeepsst
    eal
    i
    nggl
    ancesather
    .

    Me:
    “Hi
    snamei
    sSt
    ylesmom.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Hi
    snamei
    snoti
    mpor
    tant
    .”

    Shet
    ossesherhandl
    i
    kei
    t’
    snot
    hing.

    Ril
    edbyheri
    nsol
    ence,
    Ilookatmyf
    ather
    .Heshakeshi
    shead,
    gest
    uri
    ngt
    hatIshoul
    dn’
    t
    respond.

    Nobayeni
    :“Thi
    sishumi
    l
    iat
    ing,
    justthi
    sonet
    imey
    ourf
    athermanagest
    oconv
    incemet
    ogi
    ve
    t
    hatboyachanceandhedoest hi
    s.”

    I
    ’
    m honest
    lybei
    ngoff
    endedher
    eandI
    ’
    m aboutr
    eadyt
    osnap,
    there’
    sawayshesay
    sthese
    i
    nsul
    tst
    hattur
    nsever
    yknoti
    nme.Howisthi
    swomanmymot her
    ?
    Dad:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoucal
    m downNobay
    eni
    ?St
    ylesknowst
    hatwear
    eher
    e,he’
    spr
    obabl
    yonhi
    sway
    .”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Youar
    ejustl
    i
    key
    ourdaught
    erDl
    adl
    a,naï
    ve.
    ”

    Shepoi
    ntsanaccusat
    oryf
    ingeri
    nhi
    sdi
    rect
    ion.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tspeakt
    omyf
    atherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Shef
    rownsatmebef
    orer
    oll
    i
    ngherey
    es.

    Nobayeni
    :“Bri
    dget
    te,
    Iam y
    ourmot
    her
    .Ibr
    oughty
    oui
    ntot
    hiswor
    ld,
    speakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hatagai
    n
    andIwil
    ltakeyouout.
    ”

    Shesnapsl
    ooki
    ngsl
    i
    ght
    lymi
    ff
    ed.

    Me:
    “That
    ’st
    heonl
    ythi
    ngy
    oucont
    ri
    but
    edi
    ntobei
    ngamot
    her
    ,br
    ingi
    ngmei
    ntot
    hiswor
    ld.
    ”

    Noy
    abeni
    :“Whati
    swr
    ongwi
    tht
    hischi
    l
    d?Whot
    aughty
    out
    ospeakt
    ogr
    own-
    upsl
    i
    ket
    his?
    ”

    Shetar
    get
    satmeasshesay
    sthi
    s.Nobay
    eni
    mightbecl
    assybutshehasawi
    l
    dsi
    deandi
    t’
    s
    notani
    cesightt
    owat
    ch.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Dl
    adl
    a,i
    sthi
    showy
    our
    aisedher
    ?”

    Me:
    “Atl
    easther
    aisedme.Whatabouty
    ouNobay
    eni
    ?Youhav
    edonenot
    hingf
    orme.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hu?
    ”

    Nobayeni
    :“No,
    letherspeakherhear
    toutDl
    adl
    a.Thi
    sisherhouser
    ight
    ?Shecancl
    i
    mbont
    he
    r
    oofifshewantstoandtellt
    hewholeworl
    dwhatshethi
    nksofme.”

    Me:“
    That’
    sexact
    lywhatIwanttodo,
    tel
    lthewor
    ldhowbadofamothery
    ouar
    e.Nobay
    eni
    Dl
    adl
    a,t
    hegreatr
    espectedbusi
    nesswomansucksatbei
    ngamother
    .”

    Thi
    sisthefi
    rstt
    imeI’m cr
    yingi
    nfrontofherbecauseoft
    his,
    Iwasfil
    l
    edwit
    hsomuchanger
    bef
    orebutnow,it
    ’spai
    nandnegligencethat
    ’star
    geti
    ngatmyheartandi
    t’
    sunbear
    abl
    e.

    Me:“
    Irememberwhenyoudi
    dn’
    tcomet
    omysi xt
    eenthbirt
    hday.Iwai
    tedtil
    lmidni
    ghtforyouto
    comehome.Dadkeptt
    ell
    i
    ngmetogotobedbut,Ineededtoseeyou,Ineededtohearyouwish
    meahappybir
    thday
    .

    Thememor yofy oust umbli


    nginthehousedrunkisli
    keafr
    eshwoundthatwon’theal
    ,the
    disgust
    edlooky ougav eme.ButbecauseIwasachi l
    dandcoul
    dn’
    tseethehateinyoureyes.I
    rantoyouandt hrewmy sel
    finy
    ourarmsbuty oupushedmeandIfel
    l
    ,hit
    ti
    ngmybodyagai nst
    thestai
    rrai
    l.Ist
    illhav
    et hemarkofyourhat
    redmot her.
    ”

    Ist
    retchmyhandoutt
    oshowhert
    hescaronmyel
    bow,shedoesn’
    tlookl
    i
    keshecar
    es.She’
    s
    pouri
    nganot
    hergl
    assofwi
    ne,
    thebot
    tl
    eisal
    mosthal
    fempty
    .

    Me:“Iaskedyout
    hatni
    ghtwhyy
    oudi
    dn’
    tmakei
    ttomypar
    tyandy
    out
    oldmet
    omyf
    acet
    hatI
    shoul
    dn’thav
    ebeenborn.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Nobay
    eni
    ?”
    Hegr
    untsinashockedtone,It
    urnt
    ohi
    m.Myt ear
    sar
    ehav
    ingt
    hei
    rwayonmyf
    aceandIcan’
    t
    st
    opthem f
    rom cascadi
    ngdownmycheeks.

    Me:“Yes,dad.Yourwif
    ehere,sai
    dthatIwasamistake.Shet
    oldmehowmuchshehat
    esme
    andIshouldneverexpecthert
    obeamot herf
    igur
    et ome.”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“That
    ’senoughBr
    idget
    te.
    ”

    Shedemands,
    wewat
    chherasshepour
    sher
    sel
    fanot
    hergl
    assofwi
    ne.Compl
    etel
    yempt
    ying
    thegl
    ass.

    Me:“YousaidIshoul
    dspeakmyhear
    toutbecauseI
    ’minmyhouse,
    letmespeakmyheartout
    Nobayeni
    .Letmet el
    lmyfat
    herhowmuchyouhatehi
    sdaught
    erandhowyoudidn’
    twantto
    haveanymor echi
    ldr
    enaf
    terme.”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Br
    idget
    te,
    Isai
    dthat
    ’senough.
    ”

    She’
    sgl
    ari
    ngatmewi
    tht
    hesamehat
    redshehadt
    hatni
    ght
    ,Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erf
    orgett
    hoseey
    es.

    Me: “Dad,shet
    oldmethatsheti
    edhertubesaftershehadme,sheconfessedever
    ythi
    ngtome
    thatnight
    .Youweredr
    unkNobay eni
    ,Iwasjustachildbut
    ,youputthi
    sburdenonme.Iwas
    desperatefory
    oumother,Iwasdesper
    ateforyourlovebut
    ,yourej
    ectedmeandonlygaveme
    hatred.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“ShutupBr
    idget
    te,
    shutup.
    ”

    Sheshout
    s,t
    hrowi
    nghergl
    assatme.Iduckandi
    thi
    tsmyf
    atheronhi
    sar
    m,l
    ucki
    l
    y.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Youdemonchi
    l
    d,Ishoul
    dhav
    eki
    l
    ledy
    oubef
    orey
    ouwer
    ebor
    n.”

    Dad:
    “Nobay
    eni
    ?”

    Heshoutst
    hrowi
    nghishandatherandbefor
    eIknowi
    t,mymot
    heri
    sont
    hecouchwi
    thher
    headbowedandherhandrocki
    nghercheek.

    Dad:
    “It
    oldy
    outhatIwi
    l
    lpr
    otectt
    hischi
    l
    dwi
    thev
    ery
    thi
    ngIhav
    e,y
    ouwi
    l
    lnotdot
    hisNobay
    eni
    .
    Nott
    omydaughter
    .”

    Heyell
    sather
    ,sherai
    sesherhead.Myheartstopsassheglower
    satmewi t
    hadeadl
    ystare,
    shescr
    eamsandchar gesatme.Inasecondshehaschunksofmyhai ri
    nthegr
    ipofherhands,
    pul
    li
    ngandshouti
    ng.Theonlyt
    hingIcandoisscream andt
    rytogetheroffme.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Ihat
    eyou.
    ”

    Shepr
    ocl
    aimsatt
    het
    opofherl
    ungswhi
    l
    efi
    ght
    ingme.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    26*

    AMARA*

    Me:
    “I’
    m okayChi
    oma,
    youdon’
    thav
    etohel
    pme.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Iwast
    oldt
    ohel
    pyou.
    ”

    We’reinthewal
    k-i
    nclosetandshe’
    spicki
    ngoutadr
    essf
    ormebutIdon’
    twantt
    owearadr
    ess,
    Idon’twantt
    odressupf orany
    thi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lmanage,
    youcango.
    ”

    Shenods,Iwatchherasshewal ksout.Itur
    nt olookatmy selfinthemir
    ror
    .Mywei ghti
    ssti
    ll
    down,myey esareatt
    aini
    ngtheirnormalcolour.ButIstil
    ldon’tfeelfi
    neandnodressormake
    upinthi
    swor l
    dwillt
    akeawayt hissadnessthathast akenov ermyhear t
    .Iwil
    lwalkouti
    nthese
    tr
    acksui
    ts,t
    heyaretheonlythi
    ngcomf orti
    ngmer i
    ghtnow.I fnott hememoriesIhaveofLel
    o.
    SometimesIwakeupf eel
    ingli
    keIam f or
    getti
    ngherf aceandf orcemysel
    ftoremember.

    Iwalkoutoft
    hedressingroom tofindRandal
    lstandi
    nginthedoorway,dr
    essedinblack.I
    ’
    my et
    toseehiminadif
    ferentcolour
    .Lookingathim now,Ir
    eali
    zethathehasahabitoffoldi
    nghis
    armsacrosshi
    schestandscowl ing.Tender
    nessisonlybut,
    aguestonhisster
    nf ace.

    Hi
    sgazest
    absatmeandI
    ’
    mfor
    cedt
    olowermi
    ne.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whyar
    en’
    tyour
    eady
    ?”

    Hequer
    ies.

    Ir
    unmyey
    est
    ohi
    m wi
    thaser
    iousex
    pressi
    onandshr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a?”

    Hi
    svoi
    cedemandsananswer
    .

    Me:
    “Iam.
    ”

    Iwhi
    sper
    ,henods.

    Randal
    l
    :“Shal
    lwe?
    ”

    If
    rownasIam st
    umpedbyhi
    squest
    ion.

    Randal
    l
    :“Icamet
    ogety
    ou,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Iam nott
    aki
    ngt
    hathandhej
    ustst
    ret
    chedoutt
    ome.

    It
    oddl
    etohim,
    hesmil
    esasIappr
    oach.Iwantt
    opassbuthe’
    sbl
    ocki
    ngt
    heway
    .Hel
    i
    kes
    l
    ooki
    ngint
    omyeyesalot
    ,Idr
    opmygaze.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howhasy
    ourdaybeen?
    ”
    I
    sheser
    iousl
    yaski
    ngmet
    his?

    Me:
    “Ter
    ri
    ble.
    ”

    Ir
    espondal
    mosti
    mmedi
    atel
    y,poi
    nti
    ngoutt
    heobv
    ious.Iseeagl
    i
    ntofwor
    ryi
    nhi
    sey
    es.

    Hetakesmyhand,Iwanttosnatchitawayfrom hi
    m buthisgri
    pistoostrong.Mybodyshi v
    ers
    athist
    ouch,I
    ’
    m notcomfort
    ablewiththi
    sfeeli
    ngthat’
    swashingoverme.It ryonceagai
    nto
    cl
    aim myhandbackfrom hi
    m but,
    her ef
    usestoletgo,havi
    ngmegi veup.Wewal kdownthe
    stai
    rst
    othedini
    ngroom.Thefoodisal r
    eadyonthetable,
    alit
    tl
    etoomuchf ortwopeople.

    KHETHU*

    Dad:
    “Nobay
    eni
    lethergo.
    ”

    Myf
    atheri
    stry
    ingtopul
    lherawayfr
    om me,
    I’
    m cr
    yingandIdon’
    tunder
    standhowmyown
    mot
    herwouldatt
    ackmeliket
    his.

    Whati
    sshet
    hinki
    ng?

    What
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    hroughhermi
    nd?

    Ourv
    oicesar
    ewr
    est
    li
    ngeachot
    heraswecompet
    einascr
    eami
    ngcont
    est
    .

    Dad:
    “Nobay
    eni
    stop,
    stop.
    ”

    Itappearst
    hathecan’
    tpul
    lheraway
    ,withouthur
    tingmei
    nthepr
    ocessashergr
    ipi
    stoost
    rong.
    Ifeelafewstr
    andsofmyhairbei
    ngpluckedout.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Ihat
    eyouBr
    idget
    te,
    youcur
    sedchi
    l
    d.”

    Shescr
    eamswhil
    epull
    i
    ngmyhai
    r,I
    ’
    m st
    ruggl
    i
    ngt
    ogethergr
    ipof
    fofmewhi
    l
    e,myf
    atheri
    s
    al
    sofai
    li
    ngdi
    small
    y.

    Gosh!Ipr
    ayi
    t’
    stheal
    cohol
    tal
    ki
    ngandnother
    .

    Outofnowher e,
    aduosofst ronghandscl enchmywai standswi ft
    lybut ,
    gentl
    ypullmeback.
    Nobayenirel
    easesherstr
    onghol dandsl owlydrawsback, hereyesareampl if
    iedasshelooks
    overmyhead.Ther i
    seandf allofherchestandbreathlessness,di
    splayingfat
    iguefr
    om the
    att
    ack.Thegentlehandsarest i
    ll
    onmywai st,
    Iturnt
    oseeSt yl
    es.Thel ookonhisfaceis
    ter
    ri
    fyi
    ng,helooksli
    keheisr eadytokil
    lsomeone.Hisbl ackstareisfixedonNobay eni
    .

    I’
    m somadathi mthat,
    Ican’
    tev
    encr
    yonhischest
    .Iwanttocryandscr
    eam al
    lthesepai
    nful
    emotionsoutbut
    ,I’
    m al
    soashamedt
    hatmymotherandIturnedhi
    shousei
    ntoawr est
    li
    ngring.

    HowdoIexpl
    aint
    hisf
    ightandhowIl
    eti
    tgot
    hisf
    ar?

    Myfat
    heri
    ssi
    tti
    ngont
    hecouch,l
    ooki
    ngwhitewashed.Hi
    shandsar
    esupport
    inghi
    sheadashe
    hasi
    tbowedi
    nshame,Iknowhowhefeel
    s.Idon’
    tknowifSt
    yleswi
    llev
    erl
    ookathi
    mt hesame
    orasamanwhocan’
    tkeephi
    shousei
    ncheck.

    St
    yles:
    “Getoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Hedemandsi
    naf
    ir
    mvoi
    ce.Ihav
    enev
    erseent
    hissi
    deofhi
    m.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Br
    idget
    te…”

    Iseeanot
    heri
    nsul
    tscomi
    ng.

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    tev
    endar
    esayonemor
    ewor
    dtoher
    .”

    Hecut
    sherof
    f.

    HereIam, standi
    nginfrontofStyl
    es.Hi
    shandsar est
    il
    lgri
    ptonmywai standIknowhe’snot
    aboutt
    ol etgo.Icanfeelthem t
    rembli
    ng,that
    ’showangryheis.I
    ’
    ml ooki
    ngatmymot herwit
    h
    thesamehat redshe’
    sshowi nginhereyes.Iwishf
    ort
    histobeadr eam,Iwanti
    ttobenothi
    ng
    butadream.

    Ihopedandpray
    edthatmaybeonedayNobay
    eniwil
    lseeachil
    dinme,shewi
    ll
    final
    l
    yseeme
    asthebabyshecar
    ri
    edforni
    nemonthsandshowermewiththelov
    eIwasdepri
    vedof.

    Sty
    les:“
    Mr .Dladl
    a,pl
    ease,t
    akeyourwif
    eoutofmyhouse.Idonotwanttocomeacr
    ossas
    di
    srespect
    f ul
    but,i
    fneedbe, Iwi
    l
    lpr
    otectKhet
    hu.I
    tdoesn’
    tmat
    terwhatIhavet
    odoorwhat
    boundari
    esIhav etocross.
    ”

    Hest
    atesi
    nadar
    kthr
    eat
    eni
    ngt
    one.

    Hi
    swor
    dshav
    emei
    ntear
    s,t
    obel
    ovedandpr
    otect
    edl
    i
    ket
    hiscanonl
    ybeabl
    essi
    ng.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Whati
    sthi
    s?Dl
    adl
    a,wi
    l
    lyoul
    ett
    hisboy
    …”

    St
    yles:
    “Gett
    hehel
    loutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Hi
    st hunder
    ousr
    oarf
    il
    lst
    her
    oom, If
    li
    nchwhil
    eNobayenist
    epsback,
    lookingal
    armed.My
    f
    atherwalksupt
    omewi t
    hapai
    nfulexpr
    essi
    on,car
    essesmyfaceandkissesmyforehead.

    Dad:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryangel
    .”

    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    osayt
    ohi
    m so,
    Idon’
    trespond.Hel
    ooksatSt
    ylesr
    emor
    sef
    ull
    y.

    Dad:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryaboutal
    loft
    hisSi
    shi
    ,don’
    thol
    ditagai
    nstany
    one.I
    t’
    sonl
    yfami
    l
    ysquabbl
    es.
    ”

    Iwi
    sht
    hatwasal
    li
    twas.

    Nobay
    eni
    cackl
    es,
    myf
    athert
    urnst
    oher
    ,gr
    absherar
    m anddr
    agshert
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Dl
    adl
    a,l
    etgoofme.Doy
    ouknowwhoIam?Letgoofme,
    now.
    ”

    She’
    sscreami ngathim buthedoesn’
    ttakeheedtoherasheconti
    nuest ohaul
    heroutsi
    de.I
    shov
    eSt yl
    es’handsoff,theminut
    etheyclosethedoor.Nowthati
    t’
    sjustustwo,Iwanttocry
    andleti
    talloutbut,
    Iwon’ t
    .Seei
    ngthr
    oughme, hepul
    l
    smei ntohi
    sarmsbutIpushhi m away
    andrunupstairst
    othebedr oom.
    AMARA*

    Randall
    issit
    ti
    ngtoocl
    oseforcomfort
    ,heli
    ter
    all
    ypull
    edhi
    schaircl
    osertomine.Myhear
    thas
    beenracingsi
    nceandIdon’
    tunder
    standit
    ,he’
    sstar
    ingandI’
    m str
    uggl
    ingtogetanyf
    oodint
    o
    mymout h.

    Todaywe’ redinningintheindoorpati
    o,it
    ’sbeaut
    ifulImustsay.Theroom i
    swal l
    edwi
    thf
    aux
    bri
    cks,ithasav intagetouchtoit.Thedarkmahoganychairsareadornedwiththi
    ckgr
    eyand
    whit
    est ri
    pedcushi ons,ther
    e’sawoodent ablei
    nf r
    ontofus.Bigenoughtoaccommodatesi
    x
    people.Atiled-stone,wood-bur
    ningfir
    eplaceistheprimefocusofthispat
    io.

    Iwatchasthespar
    kshopabout,
    teasingthewoodthat
    ’srevol
    vingi
    ntoashadeofbl
    ack.The
    fl
    amesspr i
    ngi
    nanupsurgeandreducti
    onmotion,
    ineagernesstoaccompl
    isht
    hegoalon
    whichiti
    sseton.

    There’
    sabiggl
    asswallfacingus,youcanseethepalecol
    dmoonbeami ngdownonabl anket
    ofgreengr
    assinthegarden.Glanci
    ngatthebeauti
    ful
    scene,If
    eelanincredibl
    eint
    ense
    sensati
    onofwarmth.I
    talmostassuresmet hati
    t’
    sgoingtobeokay,Iwil
    l beokay.

    Randal
    l
    :“Won’
    tyoueat
    ?”

    Hi
    svoi
    cef
    il
    lsmyear
    s,haul
    i
    ngmeoutoft
    hisf
    ant
    ast
    ical
    wor
    ldIj
    ustbui
    l
    tformy
    sel
    f.

    Me:
    “Iam.
    ”

    Whyam Iev
    ent
    alki
    ngt
    ohi
    m?

    Randal
    l
    :“Onedayy
    ouwi
    l
    lunder
    standwhyI
    ’
    m doi
    ngal
    loft
    his.
    ”

    Heexpl
    ainsuponseei
    ngmygl
    oomyf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tpossi
    blyseeagoodj
    ust
    if
    icat
    ionf
    orhumant
    raf
    fi
    cki
    ng.
    ”

    Hegl
    ower
    satmeashi
    sgazei
    ntensi
    fi
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“HumanTr
    aff
    icki
    ng?
    ”

    I
    t’
    sal
    mostasi
    fhedoesn’
    tbel
    i
    evewhatj
    ustcameoutofmymout
    h.

    Me:
    “Myuncl
    esol
    dmet
    oyour
    ight
    ?”

    It
    osst
    hati
    nwi
    thouthesi
    tat
    ion.

    Hestaresatmewi t
    hbr oodingeyesast heybecomehar dandmel ancholy
    ,hebli
    nksonceaf t
    er
    whatseemsl i
    keami nute.Heclearshisthroat,sendi
    nghishandtopullanipofhisear
    lobe.He
    sl
    ouchesforwardasifleaningovertome, bringinghi
    sfacetomine.ForamomentIt hi
    nkhe’ s
    goi
    ngtokissmebuthepusheshi schairbackwi thhi
    slegs,
    standsstrai
    ghtandleer
    sdownat
    me.
    Il
    ookaway,Ican’
    tlooki
    ntothosepai
    nedeyes.Imadehi
    mli
    ket
    hat
    ,somet
    hingIsai
    dbeckoned
    sadnessi
    ntohi
    ssoul.If
    eelapangofguil
    tfl
    owt hr
    oughme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Justsoy
    ouknowAmar
    a,not
    hingi
    sasi
    tseems.Youshoul
    dponderont
    hatwheny
    ou
    gotobed.”

    Hedr
    opst
    hatandt
    urnst
    owal
    kaway
    ,leav
    ingmest
    umpedbyhi
    sri
    post
    e.

    “
    Randal
    l
    .”

    Atal
    lwhi
    tewomanwithredhai
    rcomesr
    unningi
    n,shethr
    owsherpet i
    tebodyathi
    m andbur
    st
    i
    ntoashowysob.Hi
    shandsgoupinanatt
    empttoholdherbutdoesn’
    t.

    Her
    :“He’
    sgoneRandal
    l
    ,Josephi
    sdead.
    ”

    Shewai
    l
    s.

    NOMBULELO*

    Theladynexttomehasnotst oppedcr yi
    ngsi nceshewokeup, t
    henursestri
    edtocal
    m her
    downbutsher efusestost
    op.Appar ent
    ly,herhusbandbeatheruponlybecausesheaskedhi
    m
    whyhedidn’
    tsleepathomef ortwoni ghts.Isthi
    swhatmar r
    iageisl
    i
    ke?Zumaseemedso
    sweetandkind,hewascompassi onate.Iwasconv incedt
    hathewouldn’thur
    tafly
    ,buthe
    tur
    nedouttobeawol fi
    nsheep’
    scl othi
    ng.

    Nur
    se:
    “Hai
    bosi
    si,
    it’
    senoughnow.Ur
    asel
    aabany
    eabant
    wana.
    ”(You’
    remaki
    ngnoi
    se.
    )

    Thenursechastisesher,sheli
    esdownont hebedandpull
    sthebedsheetup,
    cov
    eringherhead
    andcontinuessnivel
    li
    ng.I’
    m al
    sogett
    ingannoyedbyhercry
    ingandt
    ot hi
    nksher
    efusesto
    presschargesagainsthi
    m.

    Idon’
    tbl
    amehert
    hough,
    lov
    eisi
    gnor
    antandsel
    fl
    ess.Idon’
    tthi
    nkIwi
    l
    lbel
    ayi
    ngchar
    ges
    agai
    nstZuma.

    Nur
    se:
    “Yohhai
    ,thi
    swoman.
    ”

    Shel
    ooksatmewhi
    l
    eshaki
    ngherhead.

    Nur
    se:
    “Whatabouty
    ousi
    si?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notsur
    ewhatshewant
    s.

    Me:
    “Whataboutme?
    ”

    Nur
    se:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    olaychar
    gesagai
    nstt
    hemanwhodi
    dthi
    stoy
    ou?
    ”

    Ihav
    ethoughtabouti
    tandt heansweri
    sno,
    hemi
    ghtbeabast
    ardbutIcan’
    tseehi
    minj
    ail
    .I
    won’
    tfor
    givemyselfi
    fthathappens.

    Ishr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    sandshecackl
    es.
    Nur
    se:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    I
    fshewer
    einmyshoesshewoul
    dknowwhat
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thme.

    Me:
    “Tr
    ywal
    ki
    ngami
    l
    einmyshoest
    hen,
    askmet
    hatquest
    ionagai
    n.”

    Nurse:“Hayi
    ,ngiy
    abonga.Iwoul
    dneverl
    etamandothi
    stome,justt
    hinkaboutit
    .Nextt
    ime,
    he
    wil
    lkil
    lyou.Whichshoeswill
    youbewalki
    ngonwhenyou’
    rel
    yi
    ngdeadi nacoff
    in?”(
    No,t
    hank
    you.
    )

    Shel
    eav
    esmewi
    tht
    hosewor
    ds.

    AMARA*

    Her
    :“Ther
    ewasar
    ioti
    njai
    landhewasst
    abbed,
    he’
    sdeadRandal
    l
    .”

    Shecontinueswail
    i
    ngasshecl
    enchesonhimfordearl
    if
    e,Ifeel
    api nchofanuncomfor
    tabl
    e
    sensat
    ion.Randal
    ltur
    nshi
    sheadtolookatmewit
    hascowl onhisfaceandwhi l
    esti
    l
    lgawking
    atmehef l
    i
    ngshishandst
    oherupperar
    msandgentlypul
    lsherfrom hi
    m.

    Itt
    akesawhil
    eforhert
    oev ent
    uall
    yletgo,shehast
    hisconf
    usedl
    ookonherf
    acebut
    ,ital
    so
    showsthatmaybeshecrossedboundari
    es.

    Randal
    ltakesast
    epback,
    fol
    dshi
    sar
    msacr
    osshi
    schestasheogl
    esatt
    hecr
    yingwoman.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ol
    i
    via,
    sur
    elyy
    oucannotcomecr
    yingt
    omef
    ort
    hatbast
    ard.
    ”

    Hest
    atesi
    nasof
    tbutcol
    dtone.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Myhear
    tisbr
    okenRandal
    l
    ,andt
    hisi
    sal
    lyouhav
    etosayt
    ome?
    ”

    Herv
    oicei
    slacedwi
    thhur
    t.

    Randal
    l:“
    YouandIhavenor
    elat
    ion,
    nonewhat
    soev
    er.I
    ’
    m noty
    ourf
    ri
    endOl
    i
    viaory
    ourany
    thi
    ng,
    theonl
    ythingt
    hatwehavei
    ncommoni sLi
    ya.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whyar
    eyousocr
    uel
    ?”

    Shescr
    eamsathi
    m.

    Heseemst
    obeanger
    edbyherout
    bur
    st.

    Randal
    l:“
    Funny
    ,youshoul
    dsayt
    hat
    ,wheny
    ouandt
    hatsonofabi
    tchal
    mostki
    l
    ledmy
    daught
    er.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’tknowhehadachi
    l
    d,Iwonderwher
    ehi
    swi
    fei
    sori
    fhei
    smar
    ri
    ed.Ihav
    en’
    tseenar
    ing
    onhisfinger
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whyar
    eyout
    alki
    ngt
    omel
    i
    ket
    his?
    ”

    Shef
    inal
    l
    yacknowl
    edgesmypr
    esencei
    nther
    oom asherey
    esr
    unt
    ome,
    Idon’
    tunder
    standt
    he
    l
    ookonherf
    aceandIcan’
    texpl
    aini
    t.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Isi
    tbecauseofher
    ?”

    Sheswi
    ngsherhandmydi
    rect
    ion.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whyar
    eyoui
    nmyhouseOl
    i
    via?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “DoesLi
    yaknowabouther
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Howdar
    eyouquest
    ionme?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “I’
    m aski
    ngf
    orLi
    ya,
    Randal
    l
    .Iwi
    l
    lnotl
    ety
    oubr
    ing…”

    Randal
    l
    :“Fi
    nishi
    t,Idar
    eyout
    ofi
    nisht
    hatl
    i
    neOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    Herey
    espopopen,theyhavedri
    edup.Youcan’
    tsaythatshewascr
    yingawhi
    l
    eago,
    onl
    ythe
    pi
    nchofhernosest
    andwitnesstot
    hatasithast
    urnedpink.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Getoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Hedemands.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Mydaught
    eri
    sher
    e.”

    Shemustbehi
    swi
    feorex,
    byt
    hel
    ooksofi
    t.

    Randal
    l:“
    Andthi
    sisherhomenow,It
    oldy
    outhatLi
    yawi
    llbestayi
    ngwit
    hmenow.Youar
    enot
    tosetf
    ootinmyhouseOliv
    ia,
    ify
    ouwantt
    oseeLiyaIwi
    l
    lbringhertoy
    ou.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Youcan’
    tdot
    hist
    omeRandal
    l
    ,Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ghty
    oui
    ncour
    t.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Dar
    emeOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Youwanther
    ,tobeamot
    hert
    omychi
    l
    d.”

    Shegl
    aresatme.

    Iam cl
    uel
    essast
    owhatshe’
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    ttal
    kabouther
    ,don’
    tev
    enl
    ookather
    .”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    l
    ,whathasgot
    teni
    ntoy
    ou?Thi
    sisnoty
    ou.
    ”

    Randal
    l:“
    Youdon’
    tknowme.I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    ost
    andher
    eandent
    ert
    ainy
    ourbul
    l
    shi
    t,l
    eav
    emy
    house.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Li
    yast
    il
    lneedsme,
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Shef
    oldsherar
    msacr
    ossherchestshowcasi
    nganat
    ti
    tude.

    Randal
    l
    :“DoIhavetoputi
    tinwri
    ti
    ngthaty
    ouareadangertomychil
    dOli
    vi
    a?Youalmosttook
    mydaughterawayf
    rom me,andthati
    ssomet
    hingIwi
    llnev
    erfor
    giv
    e.Nowgetthehel
    loutof
    myhouse,you’
    repi
    ssi
    ngmeof f
    .”
    He’
    ssof
    tspokenbutst
    il
    lhol
    dst
    heanger
    .Ol
    i
    viagl
    aresatmet
    henbackathi
    m.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Thi
    sisnotov
    erRandal
    l
    ,I’
    m comi
    ngbackf
    ormychi
    l
    d.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Yeah,
    getout
    .”

    Shescur
    ri
    esout
    .

    Ihaven’
    tmov edani
    nchasI
    ’
    mlef
    tmy
    sti
    fi
    edbywhatj
    usthappened,
    Ihav
    eseenadi
    ff
    erentsi
    de
    toRandall
    today.

    HelooksatmeandIl
    ookaway,maybeIshoul
    d’v
    ewal
    kedoutwhent
    heyst
    art
    edquar
    rel
    l
    ingbut
    Iam notal
    l
    owedtomovewit
    houthi
    m sayi
    ngso.

    Randal
    l
    :“Shal
    lwego?
    ”

    Igetupandwal
    kbef
    orehi
    m,hi
    sey
    esar
    est
    abbi
    ngmef
    rom t
    hebackasIf
    eel
    him wat
    chi
    ngme.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    27*

    NTOMBI
    *

    If
    indMosesinthel
    iv
    ingroom,
    car
    ryi
    ngapl
    ast
    icj
    ugf
    il
    ledwi
    thbr
    owni
    shl
    i
    qui
    d.He’
    schant
    ing
    wordsIcan’
    tmakeout.

    Me:
    “Moses,
    whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    He’
    sst
    art
    ledasheswi
    vel
    sandal
    mostdr
    opst
    hej
    ug.

    Moses:
    “Ei
    sh,
    Ntombi
    maan.Uf
    unani
    ?”(
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    Hewhi
    spers,
    seemingl
    yannoyed.Iunder
    standther
    easonbehi
    ndhi
    m whi
    sper
    ingbecause
    MhambiandPetuni
    aaresl
    eepinginLel
    o’sbedr
    oom.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Imovecloserandgrabthej
    ugasheatt
    emptstopull
    away ,
    hel ooksner
    vousandhe’
    sst
    art
    ingt
    o
    sweat
    .Isnifft
    hejug,i
    tsmel
    lsl
    ikemut
    i(t
    radi
    ti
    onalmedi
    cine.)

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    tel
    lmet
    hisi
    snotwhatIt
    hinki
    tis.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Hey
    ,gi
    vemet
    hatwena.
    ”

    Hesnat
    chesi
    tandcl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue.

    Moses:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    eany
    way
    ?Youar
    esupposedt
    obesl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Andy
    out
    houghti
    twoul
    dgi
    vey
    ouachancet
    opr
    act
    icewi
    tchcr
    aft
    ,whi
    l
    ewear
    esl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”

    Thi
    sanger
    smeawhol el
    ot,
    Idon’
    tknowwhathi
    sint
    ent
    ionsar
    e.Idon’
    ttr
    usthi
    m any
    mor
    esi
    nce,
    hesol
    dmynieceof
    f.

    Moses:
    “Nx!Ungazobhedawena,
    wit
    chcr
    afty
    ani
    ?”(
    Don’
    tber
    idi
    cul
    ous.
    )

    Me:
    “Then,
    whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngMoses?
    ”

    Ir
    aisemyv
    oiceandhesmasheshi
    shandonmymout
    hinat
    tempt
    stoshutmeup.

    Her
    unshi
    sey
    est
    owar
    dsLel
    o’sr
    oom.

    Moses:
    “Youwi
    l
    lwaket
    hem up.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sbef
    oreIpushhi
    shandaway
    .

    Me:
    “Theyhav
    etowakeupv
    ele.Whaty
    ou’
    redoi
    ngi
    sev
    ilMoses.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    maan,
    lal
    ela.Thi
    sist
    owearof
    fev
    ilspi
    ri
    ts.
    ”(Li
    sten)

    Heexpl
    ainsandi
    tsoundscr
    azy
    .
    Me:
    “Whatev
    ilspi
    ri
    ts?
    ”

    Moses:
    “Iwentt
    oseeS’
    godi
    ,het
    old…”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lwhi
    sper
    ing.

    Me:
    “Thesangoma?
    ”

    Moses:
    “Yes,
    het
    oldmet
    hatMhambi
    andPet
    uni
    acameher
    ewi
    thbadi
    ntensi
    ons.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ini
    ?”(
    What
    ?)

    Idon’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    t.

    Moses:“Yes,
    theytookthi
    sAmar
    asi
    tuat
    ionasanoppor
    tuni
    tyt
    ocomet
    omyhouse.Ourhouse
    s’
    thandwasam’ andki
    ll
    us.”

    NowIknowhe’
    sly
    ing,
    het
    urnsi
    ntoasweetper
    sonwhenhel
    i
    es.

    Me:
    “Nev
    er,
    notmybr
    other
    .”

    Moses:
    “Lal
    elawena,theywantthi
    shouseandourmoney .Thepl
    ani
    stoki
    l
    lusandt
    akeov
    er,
    oncewearedead.Iam notgoi
    ngtolett
    hathappen.
    ”(Li
    sten.
    )

    Me:“
    Moses,
    aren’
    tyouashamedofl
    yi
    ng.Uphi
    l
    angamanganj
    e,t
    hat
    ’sal
    lyouknow.
    ”(You’
    re
    al
    waysl
    yi
    ng.
    )

    Moses:“Ohoo!I
    fyoudon’
    twanttobeprot
    ectedt
    hen,
    it’
    sfine.Bazokwenzaumkhov
    uwena,
    kodwaqhubeka.Mina,
    Iwil
    lpr
    otectmysel
    fandmyhome. ”(Theywil
    ltur
    nyouint
    oazombi
    e,but
    cont
    inue.
    )

    Me:
    “Iwill
    notletyoudothi
    sinmyhouseMoses,
    ift
    hiswast
    het
    rut
    hthenwhydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ake
    mealongwit
    hy outoseeS’
    godi
    ?”

    Moses:
    “Itj
    usthappenednje,Iwaspassi
    ngbyhi
    shouseandIdeci
    dedt
    ogogr
    eethi
    m.That
    ’s
    whenhetol
    dmeal lofthi
    s.”

    Yeahr
    ight
    …

    Me:“Moses,
    ang’dl
    ali
    nawe.Don’tspr
    inkl
    ethatt
    hingi
    nmyhouse.Si
    ncewhendowedosuch
    t
    hings?
    ”(I
    ’m notpl
    ayi
    ngwit
    hy ou.)

    Moses: “Sinceourl i
    vesturnedupsi dedown.LookatLel o,shef el
    lpregnantanddi sgr
    acedus.I
    wasf or
    cedt odisownmyonl ychild.Yout hinkIdidthatbecauseIwant edto?Itwasnota
    coinci
    dence?Theyobv iouslydidsomet hingNt ombi
    , t
    heyt urnedmei ntothi
    scoldheartedman.I
    refusetofallvi
    ct i
    mt owitchcraft.Yourf ami l
    yisevi
    lNt ombi .Doy our eal
    l
    yt hi
    nktheyare
    sleepi
    ngi nthere?Ibety ou,ifwegoi nt
    ot hatroom wewon’ tfindanyone.Theyar enightwal
    ker
    s
    thosetwo, bayat hakat
    hal abantu.”(Thosepeopl epractisewi t
    chcraft.)

    Nx!

    I
    ’
    mlef
    tspeechl
    ess,
    henceIwal
    kbackt
    othebedr
    oom.
    STYLES*

    Thi
    swholethi
    ngismessedup, Iwasshockedt
    ofi
    ndKhethu’
    smot heratt
    acki
    ngherwhi
    leshe
    wastr
    yingt
    opullofffrom hergri
    p.Howdoesamotherhateherchi
    ldli
    kethat
    ?Isawthehatr
    ed
    i
    nhereyesandit
    ’ssickeni
    ng.

    Somet
    hingi
    samissandIi
    ntendt
    ofi
    ndoutwhat
    .Thi
    sguy
    ’snumberi
    sonspeeddi
    al,
    hecanget
    mewhatIwant
    .

    “
    Bozzay
    amabozza.
    ”(Bossoft
    hebosses)

    He’
    salwayshi
    ghspiri
    ted,t
    hisi
    sNeo.HeownsanI Tcompanyi
    nPret
    ori
    a,westudi
    edphysi
    cal
    andbi
    ologi
    calsci
    encestoget
    her.Idon’
    tknowhowhetookt
    heI
    Troute,
    Iguessphysi
    cswastoo
    har
    dforhim.

    Me:
    “LetRandal
    lheary
    ousayt
    hat
    .”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Neo:
    “Ahbozza.Howi
    sogadoi
    ng?
    ”

    Thi
    sidi
    otandt
    hatt
    imehe’
    susi
    ngaNi
    ger
    ianaccent
    .

    Randal
    lhat
    edi
    twhenhecal
    l
    edhi
    mthat
    .

    Me:
    “Lethi
    m heary
    ousayt
    hataswel
    l
    .”

    Neo:“
    Eish,
    ent
    lekSty
    los,
    isdi
    emanokay
    ?He’
    stooser
    iousf
    ormyl
    i
    kingman.
    ”(Act
    ual
    l
    ySt
    yles,
    i
    sthatmanokay?)

    Hecompl
    ains.

    Randal
    ldoesn’
    tgel
    wel
    lwi
    thhi
    m,hef
    indshi
    mtoof
    orwar
    dandannoy
    ing.Whi
    chhei
    s.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tcal
    lyout
    otal
    kaboutRandal
    l
    .Ihav
    eaj
    obf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Speakt
    omeSt
    ylos,
    thumami
    na.
    ”(Sendme.
    )

    Hehumsi
    nahi
    gh-
    pit
    chedv
    oice.

    Me:
    “Ineedi
    nfor
    mat
    iononNobay
    eni
    Dladl
    a,f
    ormer
    lyknownasMdl
    uli
    .”

    Neo:“You’r
    eamast ermindSty
    los,youcanfi
    ndlegot
    lol
    amagouwabar ekeSt uartl
    i
    ttl
    eamong
    thoseratsi
    nAlex.Whyubatlagorekechunnespaanse?Don’ttel
    lmeyou’r
    elosingyourtouch
    bozza.Itmeansthere’
    snohopef orther
    estofusmoes,I’
    m notreadyt
    oreti
    renna.”(St
    uartli
    tt
    le
    themouse.)(Whydoy ouwantmet odothi
    sjob?)

    Me:
    “Fuckof
    fNeo,
    whydoy
    oul
    i
    keof
    f-
    rampi
    ng?
    ”(Goi
    ngof
    f-
    topi
    c)

    Hel
    aughs.
    Neo:“HadeSt
    ylos,
    energyyakaekocloudni
    nevandag.Eki
    sbai
    egel
    ukki
    g.”(
    Sor
    rySt
    yles,
    my
    ener
    gyisoncloudninetoday
    .I’
    mveryhappy
    .)

    Me:
    “Yourener
    gyi
    sal
    way
    sfucki
    ngt
    oohi
    gh,
    youbet
    ternotbeondr
    ugsnt
    wana.
    ”(Boy
    )

    Neo: “
    Me?Nev erSt
    ylos,mymot heri
    saChristi
    an.Di
    evroucanprayi
    ntongues,
    shewil
    lspot
    thatdemonfrom adistance.Youknow,
    speakingofdemons.Youshouldbr
    ingoga,
    soshe
    praysforhi
    m.Ipromisey ou,hewil
    lbel
    aughingli
    keanidi
    otonceshe’
    sdonewithhi
    m.”(The
    woman. )

    Me:“Uyi
    njant
    wana.May
    bey
    oushoul
    dcal
    lmewheny
    ou’
    vedeci
    dedt
    ogr
    owup.
    ”(You’
    rea
    bast
    ardboy)

    Neo:“
    Eish,aski
    esbozza.Youknowt hi
    sisasi
    ckness,
    Ican’
    tcont
    rol
    .It
    endt
    obl
    abber
    ,Iwas
    bor
    ntalki
    ngy ouknow.Mymot hersays…”(
    Sor
    ryboss.
    )

    Me:
    “Shutt
    hef
    uckup.
    ”

    Nx!

    Me:
    “Justgetmet
    hati
    nfoNeo,
    Iwanti
    tbef
    orey
    ougot
    obed.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Aah,
    olat
    ajy
    .I’
    m al
    readyi
    nbedSt
    ylos.
    ”(You’
    rel
    ate.
    )

    Ineedst
    rengt
    hfort
    his.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouev
    enl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ome?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Sho,
    shongaml
    a.”(
    Yes,
    boss.
    )

    Me:
    “Youar
    edr
    aini
    ngbr
    uh.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Neo:
    “Butwai
    t,Dl
    adl
    a?Key
    enamaO’
    l
    adywagaKhet
    humoes?
    ”(She’
    sKhet
    hu’
    smot
    her
    ?)

    Me:
    “Yeah.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Shi
    t!Whatdi
    dshedo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sj
    ustsay
    ,I’
    m aboutt
    otur
    nherwor
    ldupsi
    dedown.
    ”

    Hegoesi
    ntoanot
    herr
    oll
    ofl
    aught
    er.

    Neo:
    “GoeasyonherSt
    ylos,
    kemamazal
    iwagago.
    ”(She’
    syourmot
    her
    -in-
    law)

    Me:
    “Getoni
    tNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Sho,
    shobozza.
    ”(Yesboss.
    )

    Hesi
    ngs.

    Neo:“
    Keazwakaj ozi
    bekeelat
    elang.Pl
    easetel
    lChiomatoprepareegusi,soup,pepesoupand
    t
    hatri
    cetheyalwayseati
    nthemov i
    es.Theonewithonebigpieceofchicken.Joll
    ofri
    ce,yes.I
    wantt
    ofeelli
    keachiefhee,
    ChiefNeoChukwudoroUgezu.”(
    I’
    m comi ngtoJobur gnextweek.)
    Si
    gh.

    Whyam Ist
    il
    ll
    ist
    eni
    ngt
    ohi
    m bl
    abberon?

    Me:
    “Chukwuwhat
    ?”

    Neo:“ChukwudoroUgezu,myNigeri
    anname.Itseemslikeanyonecanbeachi
    efinNiger
    ia,
    soI
    mightjustbel
    ucky.Youshoul
    dthinkofonet
    oo, Icanhelpyou.Iknowal
    otofNi
    geri
    annames.”

    Ist
    opmy
    sel
    ffr
    om l
    aughi
    ngbecausehewi
    l
    lthi
    nkt
    hatIam cont
    ri
    but
    ingt
    ohi
    scr
    azi
    ness.

    Me:
    “Tost
    artof
    f,i
    t’
    speppersoupandt
    ell
    Chi
    omay
    our
    sel
    f.Iam noty
    ourer
    randboy
    .”

    Hel
    aughsbef
    oreIdr
    opt
    hecal
    l
    ,Neocangoont
    hewhol
    eday
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    Dladl
    a,hol
    dont
    oyourseat
    ,ther
    idei
    saboutt
    ogetbumpy
    .

    RANDALL*

    Thi
    sisnott
    hewayIwant
    edAmar
    atof
    indoutaboutLi
    yana.

    Now,I’
    m watchi
    ngherasshe’
    sper
    chedonthebed.Herheadisbowedandherf
    inger
    sar
    e
    keepi
    ngherhandcompanyasshesqueezest
    hem i
    nagitat
    ion.

    Iknowshe’swaiti
    ngformetoleavesoshecansl eep,butIcan’
    t.Myfeetaref
    rozen,Ican’
    t
    seem t
    owal koutoft
    hisroom.Somet hi
    ngdeeperthanmei sdrawingmet oher,
    allIcanthi
    nkof
    nowisbeinginherpr
    esence.EvenifIkeepmydistancefrom her,
    aslongasmyey escanst i
    ll
    seeher.

    Amar
    a:“
    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    ogetsomesl
    eep.
    ”

    Hersoftvoi
    cemakesmyhear
    tdance,
    shehar
    dlysay
    sawor
    dtomeandt
    hisr
    ighther
    e,means
    ever
    ythi
    ngtome.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notst
    oppi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”

    Sher
    aisesherhead,
    looki
    ngr
    atheral
    armed.Ismi
    rkatherandshedr
    opsherey
    es.

    Amar
    a:“
    Ican’
    tsl
    eepwhi
    l
    eyou’
    rei
    nher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Whynot
    ?”

    Herey
    esshootupagai
    n,t
    hist
    ime,
    annoy
    ancef
    il
    lherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Il
    i
    ket
    hismehemma.You,
    tal
    ki
    ngt
    ome.
    ”(MyQueen)

    Ii
    ntroduceasIwaddl
    etowardsher,shescootsawayfrom mewhenIsitnexther
    .Igr
    abholdof
    herhandasshetri
    estostand,shef
    allsonmychestandswi f
    tl
    ymovesback.Shecan’tgof
    ar
    becausemyarmi sci
    rcl
    edaroundherwaist.Iam mesmeri
    sedbyhersweetscent.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ngpr
    incess?Ij
    ustwantt
    oseey
    ouf
    rom acl
    oser
    ange.
    ”
    Ipul
    lhercl
    osert
    ome,
    thepl
    ani
    stoshutt
    hisspacebet
    weenus.

    Shel
    ooksanxi
    ous,
    Itakehercheeki
    ntot
    hepal
    m ofmyhand.I
    tfeel
    sli
    keshebel
    ongsher
    e,i
    n
    myarmsandIknowshedoes.

    Howdi
    dthi
    swomanchangemyl
    i
    fei
    nthebl
    i
    nkofaney
    e?

    Me:
    “Don’
    twor
    rymehemma,
    Iwon’
    ttouchy
    ouwi
    thouty
    ourper
    missi
    on.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    IdeclareasIpushmyf oreheadagainsther
    s,herl
    owerlipi
    squiveri
    ngandI’
    mt emptedtotake
    herli
    psi ntomine.If
    eel herbodytr
    embl eagai
    nstmine.Shehasherwr i
    stpr
    essedagainstmy
    chest,hereffor
    tstocreateahedgebet weenus.Ihatethat
    ,any
    thingthatwoul
    dthr
    eatenme
    gett
    ingcl osert
    oher.

    Me:“Tel
    lmepr
    incess.Howl
    ongwi
    l
    lyoust
    arv
    emeofy
    ou?Howl
    ongdoIhav
    etoendur
    ethi
    s
    suf
    feri
    ng?”

    Iwhi
    speri
    nherear
    ,herbodyshi
    ver
    sandIhol
    dhercl
    oser
    .She’
    sfi
    dget
    ing.

    Amar
    a:“
    Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom me?
    ”

    Herv
    oicehal
    ts,
    Iwoul
    dhat
    etoseehercr
    ybutIcan’
    tseem t
    omov
    eawayf
    rom her
    .

    Me:
    “Icr
    avef
    oryouAmara,
    Iwantt
    ofeel
    yourski
    nonmi
    ne.Iwantt
    otast
    eyourl
    i
    psandIl
    ong
    t
    oseeyousmil
    i
    ngbackatme.
    ”

    Ibl
    urtoutmydesi
    resandsel
    fi
    shnesswhi
    l
    elooki
    ngi
    ntoherey
    es.

    Amar
    a:“
    Iam noty
    our
    stohav
    eandIwi
    l
    lnev
    erbey
    our
    stokeep.
    ”

    Herr
    esi
    stanceonl
    ymakesmewanthermor
    e.

    Me:
    “Letmebet
    hej
    udgeoft
    hat
    .”

    Amar
    a:“
    Please,
    letmebe.
    ”

    Herey
    espl
    eadonherbehal
    f,andIhav
    enochoi
    cebutt
    ogr
    antherwi
    sh.

    STYLES*

    Ican’
    tst
    andt
    oseeKhet
    hucr
    y.

    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    She’
    sunderabedcov
    er,
    herwhol
    ebodycompl
    etel
    ycov
    ered.Iposi
    ti
    onmy
    sel
    font
    heedgeof
    thebed.

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    comeoutoft
    her
    e?”

    Shecont
    inuescr
    yingwi
    thoutawor
    d,t
    hisbr
    eaksmyhear
    t.
    Me:
    “Won’
    tyoul
    etmehol
    dyou?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “No.
    ”

    Shewhi
    mper
    s.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    e?”

    She’
    squi
    etf
    orawhi
    l
    e…

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwanty
    out
    ohol
    dmeSt
    yles.
    ”

    Me:
    “Then,
    comeoutoft
    her
    e.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “No,
    I’
    m embar
    rassed.
    ”

    Shev
    oicesout
    .

    Me:
    “Ofwhat
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ev
    ery
    thi
    ng,
    I’
    m sor
    rywedi
    srespect
    edy
    ourhouse.
    ”

    Me:“
    Youdon’thav
    etoapol
    ogi
    zemyl
    ove,
    I’
    m wor
    ri
    edabouty
    ou.Ican’
    timagi
    nehowy
    oumust
    bef
    eeli
    ngr
    ightnow.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwantt
    odi
    e.”

    Shecr
    ies.

    Herwordshav
    emepul l
    t hebedcov
    eroffastheymakemeangr
    y,shesi
    tsupr
    api
    dlyandl
    ooks
    atme.Herpai
    n-f
    il
    ledeyes,t
    urnedi
    ntoacir
    cusoftear
    s.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tev
    ersayt
    hatt
    omeagai
    n.Doy
    ouhearme?
    ”

    Shenods,
    suddenl
    yshockedbymyr
    etor
    t.

    Me:
    “Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngwi
    l
    lbeokay
    ,Iwi
    l
    lfi
    xthi
    sokay
    ?”

    Iassur
    eherasIcr
    adl
    ehercheeki
    nmyhand,
    shenods.

    Me:
    “Nowst
    opcr
    ying,
    itdoesn’
    tsui
    tyou.You’
    reoneoft
    heugl
    ycr
    ier
    s.”

    Shelaughsandhidesherf
    aceonmychestasIpul
    lheri
    ntomyar
    ms.Ipr
    essmychi
    nont
    het
    op
    ofherhead,whi
    l
    edr awi
    ngcir
    clesonherback.

    Me:
    “Youwi
    l
    lbeokaymyl
    ove,
    you’
    l
    lsee.
    ”

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    28*

    AMARA*

    Idon’tknowwhatRandallmeantbyt hewor dshespokeandmymi ndwast oooccupiedt o


    actuall
    ydwel
    lonthat.Ihavesetmypl ani
    nmot ion.I
    ’
    ml eavi
    ngt hi
    splace,al
    though,t
    hewayI
    havechosenisnotidealbut
    ,thereisnootherwayout .Thisplaceisahov el
    ,Ij
    ustwantt ofade
    awayi nt
    oobl
    ivi
    on,whereIwillceasetoexist.Then,we’
    llseehowpower f
    ulRandall
    thinksheis.

    Ever
    y t
    hingisthoughtofandready
    ,therewereafewbedsheetsIfoundsomewhereinthecl
    oset
    .
    Ihadtiedthem toget
    her,maki
    ngar opeandIfoundtheper
    fectspott
    odowhatIneedt odo.
    There’
    sacl ot
    hingrai
    linthecl
    oset,
    it’
    slongenough.It
    iet
    heropeImadeont her
    ail
    ,standona
    chai
    randputt henooseov ermyhead.

    Iam t
    err
    if
    iedt
    odeat
    hbut
    ,ther
    eisnowayoutoft
    his.

    Onl
    ydeat hcansetmef r
    ee.Ihavenevert
    houghtofdy
    ingorhowdeat
    hwoul
    dsummonme,
    nei
    therhaveIlookedi
    ntoli
    feaft
    erdeath.

    Wherewil
    lIgowhenmysoul
    leav
    esmybody
    ?Wi
    l
    litbet
    heendofmeor
    ,ist
    her
    eapl
    aceIgot
    o.
    Wi
    llIfi
    ndmyparent
    swai
    ti
    ngforme?

    Thet
    houghtofseei
    ngt
    hem agai
    nmakest
    hisal
    lwor
    thi
    t.

    Thisi
    smorepainf
    ulthanIthought,i
    twassupposedtobeeasy,painl
    essandquick.I
    t’
    stoolate
    totur
    nbacknow,I’
    vekickedthechairt
    othesi
    de.Myl egsaredangli
    ngfr
    om theground.Idon’
    t
    str
    ugglewi
    tht
    heropebecause, Iwanti
    ttobepainl
    ess.But
    ,I’
    mf ooli
    ngmysel
    f.

    Tearsgushoutofmyeyesas,
    Ifeel
    lif
    ebeingsuckedoutofme,t
    heroom becomesvagueandi
    t
    feel
    sli
    keit
    ’scl
    osingi
    nonme.Ifeeladeepfade-
    away.Randal
    l
    ’sf
    aceflashesbef
    oreme.

    Idon’tknowwhybut,Idon’tt
    hinkhe’sthel
    astper
    sonIwantt oseebeforeIdi
    e.Myj umbled
    brai
    ncanonl yent
    ert
    ainthoughtsofhiminthesel
    astmoment s,t
    hesoundofhi svoi
    ce.Hisarm
    onmywai st
    ,thef
    eelofhishandonmycheekandt hatbr
    ush.Thatgentl
    esoftbrushonmyl i
    ps,
    thatmademybodyshi verwithpleasur
    e.Iwasashamedt hatIwoul
    dfeelli
    kethatwitht
    hisman
    thatIdonotknow.

    Iheart
    hesoundoft
    hedoorbei
    ngki
    ckedopen,
    IrememberIhadl
    ockedi
    tfr
    om t
    hei
    nsi
    de.

    “
    AMARA!
    !!
    ”

    Hispani
    ckyvoi
    cebooms,Ihearhisheav
    yfeetr
    unni
    ngtowardst
    hecloset
    .Icouldbe
    hal
    luci
    nat
    ingormybrai
    nisshutt
    ingdownbut,f
    orasecondasIdri
    ftaway,
    Ilongtoseehi
    sface
    befor
    eIgoaway.

    Mywi
    shi
    sgr
    ant
    edashedashesi
    ntot
    hedr
    essi
    ngr
    oom,
    hisf
    acei
    sbl
    urr
    edandi
    mmedi
    atel
    y,my
    soul
    isj
    olt
    edaway
    .

    NOMBULELO*

    Nur
    se:
    “I’
    m sor
    rysi
    si,
    wecan’
    tkeepy
    ouher
    eforanot
    herni
    ght
    .Weneedt
    hebed.
    ”

    Me:
    “Pl
    easenur
    se,
    tryt
    ounder
    standmysi
    tuat
    ion.Ihav
    enowher
    eel
    set
    ogo.
    ”

    Sheseemsl
    ikeanur
    seper
    sonhence,
    I’
    m pl
    eadi
    ngwi
    thhert
    hatshel
    etsmest
    ayonemor
    eday
    ti
    l
    lImakeaplan.

    Nur
    se:
    “Thi
    sisnotahot
    el,
    ther
    ear
    epat
    ient
    swhoneedt
    hebed.
    ”

    Me:“Iam beggi
    ngyousi
    si,
    I’
    m pr
    egnantandVaal
    isnotasaf
    epl
    acef
    oray
    oungwomanl
    i
    keme.
    Idon’
    thaveanyone.
    ”

    Nur
    se:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Ican’
    taf
    for
    dtol
    osemyj
    ob.Pl
    ease,
    comesi
    gnt
    hedi
    schar
    gepaper
    s.”

    Myt
    ear
    sar
    enotbei
    ngf
    airr
    ightnow.

    Whatam Igoi
    ngt
    odo?

    May
    bei
    fIgobackhomet
    heywi
    l
    lletmei
    n,l
    i
    ket
    hesay
    ing‘
    Sleeponi
    t’
    .

    Hopef
    ull
    ymyf at
    herhassl
    eptoni
    tandhasreali
    zedhi
    smist
    akesasafather
    ,maybethi
    sti
    mehe
    wi
    llpr
    otectmeli
    kehewasmeantto.Ican’
    tli
    veli
    keanor
    phanwhenbothmyparentsar
    esti
    ll
    al
    iv
    e.

    Mybagi
    satZuma’
    spl
    ace.Howwi
    l
    lIt
    akei
    twi
    thoutseei
    nghi
    m?

    Thethoughtofseei
    nghim agai
    nmakesmyskincrawl,
    tot
    hinkthathe’st
    heonl
    yloveIhav eev
    er
    knownandwast hebestloveIhadev
    ert
    asted.Zumahadbroughtjoyuponmyl
    ife,hefil
    l
    edit
    wit
    hdreamsandhehadbecomemysaf ehaven.It
    rust
    edhewillcatchmewhenIfallbut,
    he
    hadnointent
    ionstocat
    chme.

    Inev
    erknewt
    hatsuchpai
    nexi
    sted.Ihadbeenaf
    ool
    ,bui
    l
    dingal
    lmyhopesar
    oundhi
    m.

    AsImul l
    ov erthewor dsofthenursef rom l
    astnight,Iwanttoflyawayandnev erlookbackbut,
    Zumahast akenmywi ngswit
    hhim.Hepl uckedthem outwi thnocareatal landi tscar
    esmet o
    thi
    nkthatIwoul dgoback.Bet r
    ayal anddishonesty,t
    hi siswherehedwel l
    snow.Thesehav e
    becomeclosestt ohisheartandheseemst olovethem mor ethanheev erlovedme.Hehas
    becomeast r
    angerwi thaheartofice.May beIneverr eall
    yknewhim but,whydoIwanthi m
    morethanIdi dbefore?Iwantmywi ngsbackandIy ear ntofl
    yagain,Ican’
    tst andt heground.I
    wanttobewher eheputmewhenhel ookedatmewi thloveinhiseyes,ri
    ghtupi nt heskyandI
    hatemyselfforseeingahumanbehi ndthatevil
    veil
    .

    NTOMBI
    *
    Pet
    uni
    ahasmademyki tchenhers,
    shehaspr
    eparedaful
    l br
    eakf
    astforherhusband.Moses
    andMhambiar
    eintheli
    vingroom,noonei
    stal
    kingtoanyone.MosesiswatchingTVand
    l
    aughi
    ngl
    ikehedoesn’
    tcare,i
    t’
    samockingl
    augh.Onethatsays,
    thi
    sismyhouse.

    Il
    etPetuni
    aservet
    hem,shef
    eel
    simpor
    tantwhenshe’
    sinchar
    ge.Bei
    ngahousewi
    fei
    sher
    speci
    ali
    tyandshel
    ovesi
    t.

    Mhambi
    :“Mywi
    feandIhav
    ebeent
    alki
    ng.
    ”

    Moseschuckl
    esandsi
    pst
    eal
    oudl
    y,hedoesn’
    tev
    enl
    ookatMhambi
    .Hi
    sey
    esar
    est
    il
    lgl
    uedon
    t
    heTV.

    Mhambi
    :“Wehav
    etof
    indmybr
    other
    ’schi
    l
    dbyal
    lmeansandt
    her
    e’sonl
    yonewayt
    odot
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Mhambi
    :“Aseer
    .”

    Moseschokesonhi
    sfood,
    wewat
    chhi
    m ashecoughs.Spi
    tt
    ingwhat
    everi
    sinhi
    smout
    hont
    he
    f
    loor
    .

    Me:
    “Moses?Yi
    ni?
    ”(What
    ’swr
    ong?
    )

    Ir
    ubhi
    sback,
    hepushesmyhandaway
    .

    Moses:
    "Ang’
    zwangaMhambi
    ,ut
    heni
    ?”(
    Idi
    dn’
    thearwhaty
    ousai
    d.)

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Youhear
    dhi
    m wel
    lMoses.
    ”

    Moses:“Habe!
    !!Ngabengi
    yal
    i
    ngway
    ini
    ?Youwantt
    obr
    ingawi
    tchi
    ntomyhouse?
    ”(Am Ibei
    ng
    t
    ested?
    )

    Heshout
    s.

    Mhambi
    :“Shei
    snotawi
    tchMoses,
    she’
    sasangomaandapr
    ophet
    .”

    Moses:
    “Ay
    ikhol
    ent
    oMhambi
    .”(
    Ther
    eisnosucht
    hing)

    Me:
    “Mosespl
    ease,
    li
    stent
    othem atl
    east
    .”

    Heshakeshi
    sheadbut
    ,li
    stensany
    way
    .

    Mhambi
    :“Shewi
    l
    ltel
    luswhathappenedt
    oAmar
    aandwher
    eshei
    s.”

    Moses:
    “Amasimbak’phel
    alawo.Ngini
    bheki
    leni
    nanobabil
    i.Youwanttobr
    ingbadspir
    it
    sinto
    myhouse.Ang’
    shongoNtombi,
    ang’shongo?
    ”(That
    ’sbul
    lshit
    )(Iam wat
    chi
    ngyouboth.
    )(Didn’
    tI
    t
    ell
    youNtombi?)

    Mhambi
    :“I
    habangel
    ani
    Moses?
    ”(Whyar
    eyouexagger
    ati
    ng?
    )

    Me:
    “Mosespl
    ease,
    don’
    tdot
    his.LetMhambi
    expl
    ain.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Soy
    ouwantmet
    osi
    ther
    eandl
    i
    stent
    othi
    snonsense?Angekeshame.
    ”(Nev
    er)
    Het
    akeshi
    spl
    ateandget
    sup.

    Moses:
    “Ican’
    teveneatinpeacei
    nmyownhouse.Whatki
    ndofnonsensei
    sthi
    s?Huhahh
    Mhambi,huhahhmaan.”(NoMhambi
    .)

    Hecompl
    ainsashemakeshi
    swayt
    otheki
    tchen.

    Pet
    unialooksshockedbyhisreacti
    ont
    owardsthewholei
    ssue,I
    ’
    m baf
    fl
    edaswel l
    .It
    ’sst
    range
    howheisagainstconsult
    ingaseerwhil
    ehewasbusyspri
    nkli
    ngmuti(
    tradi
    ti
    onal
    medi ci
    ne)l
    ast
    ni
    ght.It
    rustmybrotherandwear egoi
    ngtoseethatwoman.

    KHETHU*

    Thishasalwaysbeenadr
    eam ofmi
    ne,
    bei
    ngwokenupwi
    thki
    ssesl
    i
    kethi
    s.Andonl
    ybyt
    his
    beauti
    ful
    toplessmanont
    opofme,hesmi
    lest
    hemomentmyeyesmeethi
    s.

    St
    yles:
    “Hi
    .”

    Me:
    “Hi
    .”

    Honest
    ly,
    foury
    ear
    slat
    erandI
    ’
    m st
    il
    lbl
    ushi
    ng.

    Me:
    “You’
    reanear
    lybi
    rdt
    oday
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Youwer
    esnor
    ing,
    sot
    hatcont
    ri
    but
    edt
    omyl
    ackofsl
    eep.
    ”

    Het
    eases.

    Me:
    “Idonotsnor
    e.”

    Ipr
    otest
    ,def
    ensi
    vel
    y.

    St
    yles:
    “Iknewy
    ouwoul
    dn’
    tbel
    i
    evemeso,
    Irecor
    dedy
    ou.
    ”

    What
    ?Igaspi
    nshockandamusement
    .

    Me:
    “Youdi
    dn’
    t?”
    St
    yles:
    “Icanpl
    ayi
    tri
    ghtnow.
    ”

    Hesay
    s,r
    eachi
    ngf
    orhi
    sphone.

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    don’
    tev
    enhumour
    .”

    Il
    aughasIsl
    aphi
    shand,
    hesmi
    l
    esandput
    sthephonebackont
    hebedsi
    det
    abl
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m ki
    ddi
    ngbaby
    .”

    Hescansmyl
    i
    psashesay
    sthat
    ,Il
    ovehowhel
    ooksatmel
    i
    kei
    t’
    sthef
    ir
    stt
    ime.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoul
    ooki
    ngat
    ?”

    Iaski
    nasoftt
    one,
    myhear
    tisal
    readyt
    huddi
    ngagai
    nstmychest
    .I’
    m pr
    ett
    ysur
    ehecanf
    eel
    it
    ashe’
    sontopofme.

    St
    yles:
    “Myonl
    yey
    e.”

    Il
    augh,
    hehol
    dst
    hisser
    iousf
    ace.Hi
    sfi
    nger
    shav
    ebeenmassagi
    ngmyhai
    r.

    Me:
    “You’
    rest
    icki
    ngt
    othat
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Yes,
    onl
    ythi
    sway
    ,youwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sknowt
    hatIwi
    l
    lnev
    erf
    athom t
    olookatanot
    her
    woman.”

    Myheartl
    eapsinheari
    ngthosewords,
    Idon’tknowwhatIdi
    dri
    ghtt
    ohav
    ehi
    mlov
    emel
    i
    ket
    his.
    But
    ,whateveri
    tis,
    issur
    ewor ki
    ngi
    nmyf avour.

    Hi
    slipspressagai
    nstmi
    neandi
    nasecond,wearelostineachotherasheki
    ssesmel
    i
    kei
    t’
    s
    t
    helastti
    me.Hishandaut
    omati
    cal
    l
    yrunstomythighs,Ifeel
    itsl
    i
    therit
    swayup.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Iwhi
    sperasI
    ’
    m al
    mostoutofbr
    eat
    h.Hi
    sfacehol
    dsagent
    lef
    rown.
    St
    yles:
    “Hav
    ingmybr
    eakf
    ast
    .”

    Tr
    ustSt
    ylest
    osayt
    hat
    .

    St
    yles:
    “And,
    it’
    sagoodt
    hingy
    ousl
    eptnaked.Lesswor
    kforme.
    ”

    Lor
    dhel
    pme…

    Heut
    ter
    sandIf
    rownsmi
    l
    eathi
    sst
    upi
    dit
    y.

    Hedoesn’
    tgivemeachancet orespondbut,
    takesmylipsint
    ohi sagain.I’
    m notabouttoar
    gue
    wit
    hhim,notwhenhe’ski
    ssingmel i
    kethi
    s.Hepull
    sback,looksatmeandf l
    ashesaghostl
    y
    smil
    e,I
    ’mtoonervoustosmileback.Heusestheti
    pofhisindexfingertotracetheedgesofmy
    uppermouthbef
    oresubsti
    tuti
    ngitwit
    htheti
    pofhistongue,thi
    stimeonl ytraci
    ngtheendsof
    myupperli
    p.

    Atickli
    shfeel
    ingri
    pplest
    hroughmeandIshiverwit
    hdesir
    e.Hekissesmyli
    psplayf
    ull
    yov erand
    over,hisot
    herhandhasn’tl
    eftmyheadashegentlymassagesmyscalp.I
    ’
    m alr
    eadyturnedon
    byallthesesti
    mulati
    ons,
    Igiggl
    eatthef
    eelofhiswarmtonguebehindmyear.Hebit
    esmy
    earl
    obebef or
    enibbl
    ingonit.

    Me:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    Mydr
    ymout
    hrej
    ect
    smyv
    oiceasi
    tpushesout
    ,emi
    tt
    ingasagr
    ati
    ngsound.

    Hewhisper
    ssexythingsandwhathewant
    stodot
    omewhi
    l
    ebl
    owi
    ngmi
    l
    dlyi
    nmyear
    .
    Me:“
    IloveyouSt
    yles.”

    Imurmursof t
    lyi
    ntohisear.Withmyhandsgentlyf
    ondlingupanddownhi sspi
    ne,Ibrowset
    he
    i
    nsideofhisearwitht
    het i
    pofmyt ongue,bef
    orecapturi
    nghisearl
    obecasual
    lybetweenmy
    teet
    h.Ifeelhi
    m shi
    veragainstme,herai
    seshisheadandhi sl
    ust-f
    il
    ledey
    essmi l
    eatme.At
    thi
    spoint,myarousali
    sbuiltupandI’
    m aswetasal ake.

    Heplant
    strai
    l
    sofwetkissesupanddownmyneckt raci
    nghiswaydownt omychest.Hi
    s
    t
    ongueexplor
    esmycollarbone,
    playi
    ngaroundthegougethatli
    nksi
    twi
    thmyneck.Inthe
    meanwhil
    e,hetr
    ail
    shi
    si ndexfi
    ngerdownmyshoulderinacircul
    armot
    ion.Hi
    smouthoptsfor
    t
    hatspotonmyshoulderandbef or
    eIknowithe’sf
    oundhiswayt omybosom,hi
    sfavour
    ite
    pl
    aceasIknowi
    t.

    He’sni
    bbl
    ingandsucki
    ngonmynippl
    es,mybodyshi
    versasitf
    eel
    sli
    kethesensati
    onshave
    doubl
    ed.Helooksatmewit
    hamischi
    evoussmil
    e,bi
    teshi
    slowerl
    ipbef
    oremut t
    eri
    ngsoft
    ly.

    St
    yles:
    “Iwantt
    otast
    eyou.
    ”

    Allofthatcombineddri
    vemecrazy.Hegetsup,pull
    smybodyt otheedgeofthebed.Hegoes
    onhi sknees,pl
    ungeshist
    ongueinsi
    demeandIy elpasmyhipsbuckupt ohismouth.He
    presseshishandonmyst omach,keepi
    ngmer ootedwhil
    e,l
    unginghi
    stongueinandoutofme.
    Myl oudmoansf il
    lther
    oom asIcli
    ngonthebedsheet,hemoveshistongueout,
    leer
    satme
    andsmi rks.

    St
    yles:
    “Yout
    ast
    esogood.
    ”

    Ismi
    l
    e,t
    imi
    dly
    .

    Hisfingerser
    v esasasubst i
    tut
    ef orhistongue,
    ashepl ungesi
    tinsideme.Iam declared
    power l
    essinthissensati
    onalmoment -mysensesgoont i
    meout ,asheaddsanotherf i
    nger
    ,
    mov i
    ngt hem aroundmycl i
    tori
    sinat wisti
    ngmot i
    on.If
    eelapulsingti
    ckl
    ishhotwavef rom
    betweenmyl egsmov i
    ngtomyf i
    ngert i
    psandmyt oes.Asqueal fl
    oodsoutofmymout hasI
    orgasm andI’mf l
    atter
    edbyanot hersneerfrom hi
    m whenmyey esmeethis.If
    indmy self
    smili
    ngwhi l
    eshaki ngmyheadathi scr azi
    ness.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    29*

    NOMBULELO*

    Thetaxidr
    opsmerightatmyf at
    her
    ’sgat
    e,I
    ’
    m notsureifhe’shome.Comet
    othinkofi
    t,Idon’
    t
    knowwhathedoes.Hedoesn’thavenormalwor
    kinghours,he’
    sathomemore,
    thanhe’
    sat
    work.Thedoori
    snotlocked,
    itmeanssomeoneisathome.

    Me:
    “Mama.
    ”

    Idon’tknowwhyI ’
    m cal
    li
    ngoutt
    oherbecauseshe’
    susual
    l
    yatwor karoundthi
    sti
    me.Noone
    answer s,
    Ishouldbetr
    embli
    ngwithf
    ear
    ,sincet
    heevent
    sthathappenedlastti
    meIwasher
    e.
    But,Ifeelathome.

    Iam sohungry
    ,hopef
    ull
    yther
    e’sfoodl
    eftf
    rom t
    hismorni
    ng.Ilef
    tthehospit
    alaround9am and
    i
    t’
    salmost12pm now.There’
    sscrambl
    edeggslefti
    napan, t
    hiswil
    ldowithbread.Mymother
    must’v
    elef
    tthehouseinahurry
    ,sheal
    wayscleansherki
    tchenbefor
    egoingout.

    It
    rol
    lar
    oundt
    hehouse,
    asIwai
    tfort
    hemi
    crowav
    etocountdown.

    Theirbedr
    oom i
    sempty,
    good,
    becausether
    e’ssomet
    hingIneedj
    usti
    ncaset
    hingsdon’
    tgo
    accordi
    ngtopl
    an,Iwi
    l
    lneedpr
    otect
    ion.

    Imakeacupofr ooi
    bostea.But,
    thesmel
    lofeggsisgett
    ingtome.Ican’
    tseem t
    ostomachthe
    food,If
    orcethesournessdownandconti
    nueeati
    ng.Halfwaydone,If
    eelarushofbi
    lesur
    geup
    myst omach,asthenauseaclawsatmythroat
    .Imakeittothebat
    hroom i
    ntimeandmyheadis
    dippedinthetoi
    l
    etbowl i
    nasecond.

    Myst omachcontractsv i
    olent
    lyaschunksofpart
    iall
    ydigestedbr
    eadspewoutofme
    conti
    nuall
    y,Iheaveaf ewt i
    mest i
    l
    lonlyacl
    earli
    quidcomesout .Myabrasiv
    ethr
    oatdrownsi
    n
    sorenessandI’m di
    sgustedbyt hefoulsmel
    landnauseat i
    ngimagebeforeme.I
    tfor
    cesmeto
    heaveagainbut,nothingcomesout .Iswi
    ft
    lyshutthetoil
    etbowlandfl
    ushbefor
    epushingmy
    weakbodyt owardst hesinktori
    nsethebit
    tert
    asteinmymout h.

    “
    Wheny
    ou’
    redone,
    ngi
    cel
    aungi
    phumel
    ekwam’
    .
    ”(Pl
    easegetoutofmyhouse.
    )

    It
    urnfr
    ant
    ical
    l
    y,t
    omeetmyf
    ather
    ’ssul
    l
    enf
    ace.He’
    sst
    andi
    ngatt
    hedoorwayandhel
    ooks
    di
    sgust
    edbyme.

    Me:
    “Dad?
    ”

    Myt
    ear
    sseekat
    tent
    ioni
    mmedi
    atel
    y,wi
    thoutawar
    ning.

    Moses:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Dad…”

    Moses:
    “Whol
    ety
    oui
    n?”
    Me:
    “Thedoorwasopendadso…”

    Moses:
    “So,
    youbr
    okei
    ntomyhouseNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tbr
    eaki
    ndad…”

    Moses:“Ngempel
    a?Her
    eyouarest
    andi
    nginfrontofme.It
    oldy
    ounev
    ert
    osetf
    ooti
    nmy
    houseagainandy
    ougoagai
    nstmyword.
    ”(Reall
    y?)

    Me:
    “Dad,
    Idi
    dn’
    tgoagai
    …”

    Moses:“
    Thula!!
    !I’
    m sti
    l
    ltal
    ki
    ng.Ngi
    yal
    ubekanaweuyal
    ubeka?Ang’
    zwaninengane
    engal
    awuleki
    mi na.
    ”(You’
    requar
    rel
    l
    ingwit
    hme.)(
    Idon’
    tli
    keunrul
    ykids)

    Heshout
    s.

    Moses: “
    Nombulelo?Doy ouknowt hepai
    nyouhav
    ecausedme?Ungihlambalazi
    le
    emphakathi
    ni.Abantubaphuzait
    iyengamiNombulel
    o.Ibel
    i
    evedi
    nyou,Ithoughtyouwer
    e
    goingtoputmeont hemap. ”(
    Youembar r
    assedmeinthecommunit
    y,peopletal
    kaboutme
    behindmyback.)

    Moses:“Whydi
    dyoudot his?Whydidy
    ouhav
    et ogoandsl
    eeparoundl
    ikeapr
    ost
    it
    ute?Whati
    s
    i
    tthaty
    ourmotherandIdidn’tgi
    vey
    ouNombulel
    o?Youhadever
    ythi
    ng.
    ”

    Idon’
    thaveanswer
    sforhi
    m.HowdoIt
    ell
    myf
    athert
    hat
    ,hi
    sli
    tt
    legi
    rlf
    ell
    inl
    oveandgav
    eint
    o
    tempt
    ati
    onsanddesir
    es?

    Moses:
    “Ngi
    khul
    umanawe,
    ng’
    phendul
    e.”(
    I’
    mtal
    ki
    ngt
    oyou,
    answerme.
    )

    Hebar
    ksandIwi
    nceashi
    svoi
    cecat
    chesmeof
    fguar
    d.

    Me:
    “Buty
    ousai
    dIshoul
    dkeepqui
    et.
    ”

    IknowIshoul
    dn’
    thav
    esai
    dthat
    .

    Moses: “
    YaziLel
    o,inqodoawunazo.That
    ’swhyyou’r
    einthi
    ssi
    tuat
    ion,
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    osupport
    anotherman’schi
    ld.AndIcan’
    tlookpastyourmi
    stakes,
    youdr
    aggedmynamedownt hedrai
    n.”
    (Youdon’tt
    hink.
    )

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    rydad,
    pleasef
    orgi
    veme.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Youar
    enotmydaught
    eranymoreremember?You’r
    edeadNombul
    elo,
    youhav
    eno
    pl
    acewit
    hthel
    ivi
    ng.Soy
    ou’
    rewast
    ingyourti
    mewit
    hy oursobst
    ori
    esandf
    akeapol
    ogi
    es.
    ”

    Doest
    hisf
    atherhearhi
    msel
    f?

    Me:
    “Daddypl
    ease,
    Ihav
    enowher
    etogo.Zumahas…”

    Hi
    sdeepenshi
    sgazeonme.

    Moses:
    “Ist
    hathi
    sname?
    ”

    Inod.
    Moses:
    “Di
    dhedot
    hist
    oyou?
    ”

    Inodandmyt
    ear
    smockme.

    Moses:
    “Di
    dyour
    epor
    thi
    m?”

    IshakemyheadasIdr opmygaze.Ican’
    tst
    andt
    hewayhe’
    slooki
    ngatmer
    ightnow.Ihav
    e
    disappoi
    ntedhi
    m andbrokehi
    sheart
    .

    Moses:
    “Pl
    easego.
    ”

    Il
    eerathi
    m,dazedbyhi
    srequest
    .

    Me:
    “Daddy
    .”

    Moses:“
    Idon’
    twantt
    odr
    agy
    ououtNombul
    eloso,
    itwoul
    dbebet
    teri
    fyoul
    eav
    eony
    ourown
    accor
    d.

    Me:
    “Butwher
    eam Isupposedt
    ogodad,
    Idon’
    thav
    eapl
    acet
    osl
    eep.
    ”

    Moses:“
    Iwoul
    d’v
    ecaredi
    fyouwer
    emydaught
    erbut
    ,ri
    ghtnow,
    Idon’
    tknowt
    hiswoman
    st
    andi
    ngbefor
    eme.”

    So,Ihavebeenr
    elegat
    edf
    rom hi
    sli
    tt
    legi
    rlt
    oawoman.Iwassupposedt
    obehi
    sli
    tt
    legi
    rl
    for
    ever.

    Me:
    “Daddy
    ,you’
    rebr
    eaki
    ngmyhear
    t.
    ”

    Idecl
    areasIwi
    pemyt
    ear
    s.

    Moses:
    “Myhear
    tisbr
    okent
    ooNombul
    elo.I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    oasky
    ouagai
    n,l
    eav
    emyhouse.
    ”

    HedemandsandIknowhe’
    sdeadser
    ious,
    thel
    ookonhi
    sfacepr
    ovesi
    t.

    Me:
    “Daddyi
    t’
    sme,
    youpr
    eci
    ousLel
    o.”

    Ir
    emindhim ofwhatheusedt
    ocallmeasIpl
    odtowardshi
    m,Iseeagli
    ntofgui
    l
    tyinhi
    seyes.
    Maybethi
    sli
    ttl
    egir
    lmodeisworki
    ngonhi
    m aft
    eral
    l,
    ithast
    oorelseI
    ’
    llbeoutonthest
    reet
    s.

    Hegr abshol
    dofmyhandandbegi nstodragmeoutsi
    de,
    hepushesmeoutt hedoorandl ooks
    atmewi thpaininhiseyesbefore,shut
    ti
    ngthedooronmyface.Ibreakdownrightthere,
    wail
    ingformyf atherandthelov
    ehepr omisedme.Theworl
    dwi l
    lswall
    owmewi thouthis
    for
    ti
    ficat
    ion,
    Iwon’ tmakeitoutthere.Whywon’
    tyouseemyhear tdaddy?Whywon’ tyoushelt
    er
    me?

    AMARA*

    ItseemsIam f
    atedtobehere,deathhasfai
    l
    edme.Itempteditanditrej
    ectedmebef oreI
    couldevenembracei
    t.Iwasreadytoclai
    mitasmyownbut ,Iwasrepulsi
    vetoitasitspewed
    meoutlikebi
    tt
    ergourd.Tear
    sglideonthesideofmyfaceasIapprehendthatRandallwil
    l
    al
    way
    swi
    nov
    erme,
    hispoi
    sest
    andst
    hatev
    endeat
    hbowsdownt
    ohi
    m.

    “
    Hi.Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”

    Thedoctorsmil
    esatme, Ihavenev
    erseenhim bef
    ore.Thefactt
    hathe’
    shereprovesthathe
    worksforRandal
    l,orIwoul
    d’v
    ebeentakentothehospit
    al.Mythr
    oatispai
    nful
    so,Ican’tspeak.
    Heseesmer ubbingmyt hr
    oatandhandsmeagl assofwaterwit
    hast r
    aw.Hehelpsmet o
    dri
    nk…

    “
    AMARA!
    !!
    !”

    Ademonicgrowlechoesfr
    om thecor
    ri
    dorandshiver
    sr unst
    hroughme.Iscream andjump
    fr
    om thebedasweakasIam, whenhescurri
    esint
    ot heroom chargi
    ngatme.Helooksscary,
    I
    haveseenhi
    sangrysidesbut
    ,thi
    sonetakesthecup.He’swheezingandonl
    yangerresideson
    hi
    sface.

    Mybackhitsthewall
    andIstifl
    eascream, knowinghehascorner
    edme.Onemov eandI
    ’m
    dead,i
    fIsmart,
    Iwil
    lstandsti
    l
    l.Hepusheshi sbodyagai
    nstminecomplet
    elycr
    owdingmy
    space.Hegri
    psmyupperar msandIwi nceinpainandfr
    ight
    ,hiseyesl
    ookli
    ketheycoul
    dkil
    l
    .
    Theyareheavyandstony.

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    youdeci
    dedt
    oconsul
    tdeat
    h,t
    hinki
    ngi
    twi
    l
    lpav
    eawayf
    ory
    ourescape?
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    s.

    Doct
    or:
    “Randal
    l
    ,whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    ayoutoft
    hisMbuso.
    ”

    Her
    oar
    swhi
    l
    est
    il
    lvacant
    lygl
    ari
    ngatme,
    myey
    esar
    eonhi
    sast
    heywi
    l
    li
    ngmet
    oogl
    eint
    o
    t
    hem.

    Mbuso:
    “Randal
    lthi
    siswr
    ong,
    she’
    snotst
    rongy
    et.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“IswearMbuso,
    ify
    oudon’
    tfucki
    nggetoutofher
    e…”

    Hethreat
    ens,
    Ican’tseeMbusoashe’
    sst
    andi
    ngbehi
    ndRandal
    lbut
    ,hesoundsf
    ear
    ful
    ,notas
    t
    err
    ifi
    edasIam though.

    Mybodyhasn’ tstoppedpal
    pit
    at i
    ngwithhorr
    orwhile,
    myt ear
    sarepai
    nti
    ngmyf acewit
    hcolours
    offearandgriefandheisnotbot her
    ed.Hisangerhasconsumedhim,i
    thastakenful
    lcont
    rolof
    hi
    semot ions.Iseeiti
    nhiseyes,Ifeeli
    tinhi
    sheavybreathi
    ngasitemanat
    esinandoutofhis
    nostr
    il
    s,smashingagainstmyf ace.

    Mbuso:
    “NoRandal
    l
    …”

    Hest
    andsgr oundandt hat’
    swheneveryt
    hinggoesdownhi l
    l
    , asRandal
    lswi
    velsandchargesat
    hi
    mli
    kear agingbull
    that’sbei
    ngtaunt
    edwi t
    har edflag.Mbusostagger
    sback,hisf
    eetleadi
    ng
    hi
    mtowardst hedoor.Randall
    pusheshim outwithsuchforcethathest
    umblestoapointof
    al
    mostf
    all
    ing.

    Hebangst
    hedoorcl
    osedandl
    ocksi
    tbef
    orepr
    eyi
    ngonmeagai
    nbut
    ,thi
    sti
    mehesaunt
    ers
    towar
    dsme.Mymi ndisatsi
    xesandsevensasIf
    ailt
    oapprehendt
    hemoti
    vebehi
    ndhi
    swrath.I
    coowithf
    ri
    ghtasItr
    ytoruntowar
    dsthebathr
    oom andhegrabsme,hi
    sar
    mringi
    ngmywaist.

    Hepi nsmeagai nsthisbody,


    tight
    eni
    ngthegr i
    ponmywai st
    .He’slooki
    ngdownatmeandI
    don’thavethefortetolowermyhead,it
    ’sthathypnot
    icl
    ookthat’
    sgotmeint hi
    sshameful
    stance.Thatev
    eni fIwantto,Ican’
    tgetawayf r
    om hi
    m.Heder i
    vesapowerfuldar
    kauraandi
    t
    hasnumbedev er yboneinmybody .

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    tchal
    l
    engemeAmar
    a,t
    hebeasti
    nmei
    snott
    amed.You’
    rest
    andi
    ngoni
    tst
    ail
    and
    youwon’tl
    i
    kemygrowl.
    ”

    Myhear
    thi
    tsr
    ockbot
    tom athi
    swor
    ds.

    Iknewhewasabeastbut,
    thi
    sisbey
    ondme.Iam pet
    ri
    fi
    edbut
    ,looki
    ngi
    ntohi
    sst
    agnantey
    es,
    I
    seeatwi
    tchofangui
    sh.

    Igaspwhenmybackhitsagai
    nstthewall
    .Idon’tknowhowwemovedbut
    ,hi
    sbodyi
    spushi
    ng
    againstmi
    ne.Myhear
    tfeel
    sli
    keit
    ’sabouttojumpoutofmychest
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Howdar
    eyounotl
    i
    stent
    ome?
    ”

    Hegrumblesthroughgreet
    edteet
    h,Ican’
    tpushhi
    m away,
    norcanIaskhimtostop.I
    ’
    m
    boundedbyhiseyes-hisarms,hi
    sbodyandhiswordsoffur
    y.Ican’
    thel
    pbutnot
    icethi
    s
    el
    ephanti
    nther oom ashescansmyl i
    pswit
    hthatfr
    ownonhisface.Hecupsmycheekint
    he
    pal
    m ofhishand,myl i
    psquiv
    erasIpredi
    ctwhati
    saboutt
    ohappen.

    Randal
    l
    :“Dammi
    t,y
    oudr
    ivemecr
    azyAmar
    a.”

    Mymi ndgoesonv acati


    onwhenhesmasheshisli
    psagai
    nstmi ne,
    asiftr
    yingt
    oflat
    tenand
    aboli
    shmymout h.Idon’tr
    espondt
    oit
    ,inst
    eadtr
    ytopushhim back.Buti
    t’
    sfut
    il
    e,I’
    m atoddl
    er
    str
    uggli
    ngtopushat rai
    n.

    He’sst
    rong.Mykneesweaken, ashepusheshistonguethroughmycl enchedt
    eeth,l
    i
    keit’
    s
    desper
    atelysearchi
    ngformine.I
    ttr
    iumphsovermyst ubbornnessandIfindmysel
    fkissi
    nghi
    m
    back,i
    tfeelsl
    ikeIam f
    rozeninamomenti nt
    ime.

    Iswear,Icanhearhi
    shear tracingasifit
    ’scompet
    ingwithmi ne.If
    eelmyfeetl eavet
    heground,
    onlytoreal
    izehehaswinchedmeup.Igr abhol
    dofhisshoulderssoIdon’
    tf al
    l.Hisarmis
    supporti
    ngmyback, whil
    ehi shandcr adl
    esmycheek.Myf eettouchthegroundashepul lsback
    fr
    om thekiss,l
    eavi
    ngmebr eathlessandmywobblykneesf ai
    l t
    osupportmyl egs.Hestil
    lhas
    mei nhisarmsashe’sleeri
    ngdownatme.Ican’ tl
    ookathim, awav eofembar rassmenthas
    engulf
    edme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Tr
    yt hatst
    untagai
    nAmar
    aandIwil
    lbr
    ingy
    oubackfr
    om thedead.Idon’
    tknowhow
    but,
    Iwil
    ldoitsohelpmeGodandyouwi
    ll
    besorryy
    ouwentagai
    nstme.”

    Hemumbl esinadarkthreateni
    ngtonewhi
    lehi
    sfor
    eheadi
    spressedagai
    nstmi
    ne.Hereleases
    mefrom hi
    sclutch,
    stepsbackwi t
    hasmirkonhisf
    aceandwalksout
    .Mybodysli
    pstothef l
    oor
    asIt
    rytobalancemybr eathi
    ng.

    Whatt
    hehel
    lj
    usthappened?
    Ifel
    lweaki
    nhisar
    ms.Howwi ll
    Ilookathi
    m nowwi
    thoutf
    eel
    i
    ngawkwar
    d?Andt
    hatangerhe
    port
    rayedi
    ssomewhatst
    range.

    I
    tbaff
    lesmeast owhyRandal
    lgoesabsol
    ut el
    ymadaboutmyat t
    emptstoescape,t
    heyseem to
    bri
    ngoutthebeastinhim.I
    nhishumanday s,you’
    dwonderwhatli
    esbehi
    ndthatnormal
    unsmi
    lingface.Andthebl
    ackclot
    hingt
    hatseem tomatchhisdemeanour
    ,theyconcl
    udethat
    hewouldbeanawf ull
    yscar
    ymant olov
    e.Inmyconclusion,
    lov
    ingthi
    smanwoul dbeli
    kelovi
    ng
    ademon.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Ihadnochoicebuttogoagai
    nstMosesandbr i
    ngtheseert
    othehouse,
    may bewhenhesees
    herhewil
    lunderst
    andthatweneedhelp.Imi
    ghtnothavebeenagoodparentt
    oAmarabut,I
    oweitt
    omyl atebrot
    hertobr
    ingherbackhomeandMoseswi ll
    neverwi
    ll
    ingl
    ytel
    lmewhotook
    her.

    Me:
    “Youcant
    akeasi
    t,Iwi
    l
    lgocal
    lMoses.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ructtheseer,
    Mhambi andPet
    uni
    aleadhertot
    hel
    i
    vingroom whi
    l
    eIgof
    etchMoses.He’
    s
    pr
    obablysleepi
    ngbecauseIknowt
    hathedidn’
    tgot
    oworktoday
    .

    Myguessi
    sri
    ght
    ,he’
    ssnor
    ingl
    i
    kehi
    sli
    fei
    sper
    fect
    .

    Me:
    “Moseswakeup.
    ”

    Inudgehi
    m andheopenshi
    sey
    esi
    mmedi
    atel
    y.

    Moses:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Her
    ubshi
    sey
    esashesi
    tsup.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’sav
    isi
    tor
    ,pl
    easecomet
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Aai
    iNt
    ombi
    .Sot
    hisi
    swhyy
    ouwokemeup?
    ”

    Hequer
    ies,
    looki
    ngr
    atherannoy
    ed.

    Me:
    “Ei
    sh!Mosespl
    ease,
    don’
    tbedi
    ff
    icul
    t.Comeandhearwhatshehast
    osay
    .”

    Moses:
    “Whoi
    sthi
    simpor
    tantper
    sont
    hatIhadt
    obedi
    stur
    bedf
    rom mysl
    eep?
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    lsee.
    ”

    Hecli
    ckshi
    stonguebut
    ,getsoutofbedanywayandf
    oll
    owsmeouttotheli
    vi
    ngroom.He
    st
    opsatthedoorasheseesthewomandr essedi
    nAf
    ri
    cantr
    adi
    ti
    onal
    clot
    hes,weareal
    l
    st
    art
    ledasalaugher
    uptsfr
    om hismouth.

    Me:
    “Moses?
    ”

    Moses:
    “Don’
    tmi
    ndmemkami
    ,It
    hinkI
    ’
    mlosi
    ngmymi
    nd.Nt
    ombi
    ,awungi
    tshel
    e.I
    sther
    ea
    sangomasi
    tti
    ngonmycouchr
    ightnoworam Ist
    il
    lsl
    eepi
    ngandt
    hisi
    sabaddr
    eam?
    ”(Mywi
    fe.
    )
    (Ntombi
    tel
    lme.)

    Me:
    “Hau,
    Moses?Whatki
    ndofaquest
    ioni
    sthat
    ?”

    Thi
    smanhast
    oomuchdr
    amaf
    oranol
    dman.

    Moses:
    “Hai,ngi
    yabuzanje.Ngempela,ngempelamywordmeansnothinginthi
    shouseangit
    hi?
    Mhambiisnowt hemanoft hishouse?SizwangoMhambi manj
    e?Kukhalaesakheis’
    cat
    hul
    o?”
    (
    I’
    mjustaski
    ng.)(Honest
    ly)(Right
    .)(
    Mhambi set
    sther
    ulesnow,hei
    sthemanoft hi
    shouse?
    )

    Mhambi
    :“Moses,
    wear
    etr
    yingt
    ohel
    pAmar
    a.”

    Moses:
    “AAi
    iqhubekani
    .Akunanki
    nga.
    ”(Cont
    inue,
    ther
    e’snopr
    obl
    em.
    )

    Whatj
    usthappened?

    Ther
    e’snowayhecanagr
    eej
    ustl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    e?”

    Ihav
    etodoubl
    echeck.Younev
    erknowwi
    tht
    hisman.

    Moses:
    “Yes,
    sitdown.Iwi
    l
    lgoandmaket
    eaf
    orev
    ery
    one.
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    I’
    ll
    doi
    t.Yousi
    t.
    ”

    He’
    sact
    ingst
    range.

    Moses:
    “No,
    no.Nt
    ombi
    ,Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    t.
    ”

    Hegestur
    esmetosi
    tandIhav
    enochoi
    cebutt
    odoso.Mhambi
    andPet
    uni
    adon’
    tseewhatI
    see,
    thatmani
    suptonogood.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    30*

    RANDALL*

    Chiomaopenst
    hedoorf
    orSt
    yles,
    Ical
    l
    edhi
    m ov
    er.Ineedsomeonet
    otal
    ktoaf
    terwhat
    happened.

    Hesmi
    l
    esuponseei
    ngChi
    oma.

    St
    yles:
    “Wow,
    it’
    sfr
    eezi
    ngout
    side.
    ”

    Heannouncesasher
    ubshi
    shandst
    oget
    her
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ma?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “St
    yles,
    howar
    eyou?Ar
    ewepl
    ayi
    nghi
    deandseek?Idon’
    tseey
    ouar
    oundany
    mor
    e.”

    Hechuckl
    eswhi
    l
    emaki
    nghi
    swayi
    n,I
    ’
    m st
    andi
    ngi
    nthef
    oyerwai
    ti
    ngf
    ort
    hei
    rsal
    utat
    iont
    obe
    ov
    er.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m al
    way
    sher
    ema,
    thi
    sisbasi
    cal
    l
    ymysecondhome.You’
    ret
    heonewho’
    shi
    ding.
    ”

    Chi
    omal
    aughs.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ishoul
    dcookf
    ory
    ouoneoft
    heseday
    s,br
    ingKhet
    huwi
    th.Imi
    sshert
    oo.
    ”

    Sty
    les:
    “Thatwil
    lbegr
    eatandthatr
    emindsme,Neosai
    dhe’
    scomi
    ngov
    ernextweek.Hewant
    s
    youtoprepar
    eallt
    heNiger
    iandi
    shesf
    orhim.
    ”

    Okay
    ,thi
    sist
    aki
    ngl
    ongert
    hanIant
    ici
    pat
    ed.

    Chi
    omal
    aughsandshakesherhead.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Hedecr
    aze.
    ”(He’
    scr
    azy
    .)

    St
    ylessni
    gger
    satherr
    etor
    t.

    St
    yles:
    “Exact
    lywhatIt
    oldhi
    m.”

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma,
    pleasecheckonLi
    ya.
    ”

    Shel
    ooksatmewi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Sur
    e…I
    twasni
    ceseei
    ngy
    ouagai
    nmyson.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Li
    kewi
    sema.
    ”

    Heambl
    est
    owar
    dsmeassoonasChi
    omawal
    ksaway
    .

    St
    yles:
    “IcameassoonasIcoul
    d.Youl
    ookl
    i
    keshi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “If
    eel
    li
    keshi
    t.It
    hinkI
    ’
    mlosi
    ngmymi
    ndman.
    ”
    Iprocl
    aim whi
    lel
    eadi
    ngustotheloungearea.There’
    saguar
    dwhowal ksoutasweent
    er.I
    str
    idetothebarar
    eatopourussomewhi skey,Ineedsomet
    hingst
    if
    ftocal
    m down.

    St
    yles:
    “Yousmel
    ll
    ikeachi
    mney
    ,don’
    ttel
    lmey
    ou’
    rest
    il
    lst
    resssmoki
    ng.
    ”

    HespeaksoutasIhandhi
    m agl
    assandposi
    tonmy
    sel
    font
    heopposi
    tecouch.

    Me:
    “Andwhodi
    edandmadey
    ouChi
    efSegunOkol
    i
    e?”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evesheat
    tempt
    edsui
    cide.Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Me:
    “Al
    i
    veandi
    ndeepshi
    t.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whati
    sthatsupposedt
    omean?
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    opuni
    shher
    .”

    Hegl
    ower
    satme.

    Styl
    es:
    “Don’
    tber
    idi
    cul
    ousRandal
    l
    ,youofal
    lpeopl
    eshoul
    dunder
    standwhatshe’
    sgoi
    ng
    thr
    ough.”

    Me:
    “No,
    whatAmar
    adi
    disst
    upi
    dandsel
    fi
    sh.Sheneedst
    oaccountf
    orhermi
    stakes.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Doy
    ouheary
    our
    sel
    fRandal
    l
    ?Thatgi
    rlhasbeent
    hroughenough.
    ”

    Me: “
    Don’ty
    out
    hinkIknowthatSt
    yles?But
    ,itdoesn’
    tgi
    vehert
    her
    easont
    otakeherownl
    i
    fe.
    Fuck!Ial
    mostl
    ostmymi ndwhenIfoundherhanging…”

    Ican’
    tev
    ensayi
    t.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tthinkIwil
    lev
    ergett
    hatvi
    sionoutofmyhead.Ihav
    enev
    erbeenscar
    edofany
    thi
    ng
    i
    nmylif
    eStylesbut,
    whatIsawtodaykil
    l
    edme.”

    St
    yles:
    “Icanonl
    yimagi
    ne.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    tbeokayt
    il
    lIpuni
    shher
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “NoRandal
    l
    ,youwi
    l
    lnotexposeScart
    othatgi
    rl
    .She’
    stoof
    ragi
    l
    e.”

    Me:
    “Youwi
    l
    lnott
    ell
    mewhatt
    odoi
    nthi
    smat
    terSt
    yles,
    Ihav
    edeci
    ded.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryRandybut
    ,Iwon’
    tal
    l
    owy
    ou.
    ”

    Hear
    gues.Henev
    erdi
    sput
    eswi
    thme.

    Me:
    “Si
    ncewhendoy
    oucar
    eabouther
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sy
    ou,
    I’
    mlooki
    ngoutf
    ory
    ouRandal
    l
    .Iknowy
    ouwi
    l
    lhat
    eyour
    sel
    faf
    tert
    his.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam notaweakl
    i
    ngSt
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Noonesai
    dyouar
    ebut
    ,Iknowy
    oul
    ovet
    hatgi
    rlev
    ent
    houghy
    oudenyi
    t.Shel
    i
    vesi
    n
    y
    ouandy
    ouhav
    en’
    tacknowl
    edgedi
    tyet
    .”

    Me:“Don’
    tberi
    dicul
    ous.Myheartl
    eapsabi
    tatt
    hesi
    ghtofherandy
    oudi
    agnosei
    tasl
    ove.You
    knowIhaveneverbeenaboutt
    hatli
    fe.”

    St
    yles:
    “Iwoul
    dassumet
    hatScari
    stheonewho’
    sindeni
    alandnotRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Thatdoesnotev
    enmakesense.
    ”

    Thi
    sthi
    ngofhi
    m spl
    i
    tti
    ngmei
    ntot
    woi
    slameandi
    mpr
    udent
    .

    Sty
    les:
    “Itdoest
    ome.Look,Isuggesty
    outal
    ktoAmar
    aandexpl
    aint
    hewhol
    esi
    tuat
    iont
    oher
    .
    Tel
    lherwhyshe’sher
    e,t
    ell
    heraboutMosesandMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Ihav
    ethoughtoft
    hatbut
    …

    Me:
    “Amar
    adoesn’
    tseemeashuman,
    shewon’
    tbel
    i
    eveanywor
    dthatcomesoutofmymout
    h.”

    St
    yles:
    “Tr
    yher
    ,shemi
    ghtsur
    pri
    sey
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thenagai
    n,Idon’
    twanthert
    oli
    kemebecauseIsav
    edherf
    rom t
    hosemenbut
    ,forwhoI
    r
    eal
    l
    yam.”

    St
    yles:
    “Woul
    dthatbet
    heol
    dRandal
    lort
    heonewhobel
    ongst
    oAmar
    anow.
    ”

    Me:
    “Fuckof
    f.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Sty
    les:“
    Haveyoureal
    izedthatwi
    thev
    erywor
    dyousay
    ,youdecl
    arey
    ourl
    ovef
    orher
    ?Buty
    et,
    youinsi
    stt
    hati
    tisnotlove.
    ”

    HowcanIagr
    eet
    osomet
    hingIam notf
    ami
    l
    iarwi
    th?

    NTOMBI
    *

    Moseshasbeeni
    ntheki
    tchenf
    ort
    ool
    ong,
    wecan’
    tcommencewi
    thouthi
    m.Ihopehedi
    dn’
    tgo
    backt
    osleep.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Uphi
    uNombul
    elo?
    ”(Wher
    eisNombul
    elo?
    )

    Tr
    ustPet
    uni
    ator
    aiset
    hisconv
    ersat
    ion,
    Ihav
    ebeenav
    oidi
    ngi
    tsi
    ncet
    heycameher
    e.

    Mhambi:“
    Haibo!!
    !inganekamal
    umebandl
    a.Idi
    dn’
    treal
    i
    zethatwedi
    dn’tseeheri
    zolot
    he
    whol
    eday.Ithoughtshewasatschool
    but
    ,shewasn’
    thomethismor
    ning.”(
    Myniece)
    (
    Yest
    erday)

    Pet
    unia:
    “We’
    vebeencaughtuponfi
    ndi
    ngAmar
    athatwef
    ail
    edt
    orecogni
    zeherabsence.I
    phi
    i
    nganeNtombi
    ?”(Wher
    eisthechi
    ld?
    )

    Thewayt
    heset
    wogoon,
    youwoul
    dsweart
    hatLel
    oandAmar
    aar
    ethei
    rchi
    l
    dren.HowdoI
    ev
    enbegi
    ntot
    ell
    them t
    hatMosest
    hrewhi
    sdaught
    eroutoft
    hehouse?

    Ourf
    ocusi
    scapt
    uredbyt
    heseer
    ’sl
    oudgr
    oansandbur
    ping.

    Seer
    :“I
    phi
    inganesi
    si?
    ”(Wher
    eist
    hechi
    l
    d?)

    Gr
    eat
    !

    AsifPet
    uniaandMhambi
    aski
    ngmet
    hatwasn’
    tenough,
    nowImustanswert
    oher
    .She’
    l
    lknow
    whenI’
    ml y
    ing.

    Seer
    :“Youneedt
    obr
    ingherhome,
    ther
    e’sa…”

    Mosesdashesintot
    hel
    ivi
    ngr
    oom,he’scar
    ryi
    ngapotofsteamingwaterandhe’
    sheaded
    t
    owardstheseer.Weal
    lj
    umpupscreamingwhil
    esherunstowardst
    hedoorscreami
    ngout
    l
    oud.

    Me:
    “Moses!
    !!
    ”

    Ishout
    .

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    OhJesu!
    !!
    ”(Jesus)

    Shescr
    eams.

    Moses:
    “Voet
    sek,
    phumakwami
    .”(
    Pissof
    f,getoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Heat
    tempt
    stospl
    asht
    heboi
    l
    ingwat
    eronherandshest
    agger
    sbackscr
    eami
    ng.

    Me:
    “Moses,
    wenzani
    ?”(
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    )

    Seer
    :“Pet
    uni
    a,I
    sthi
    swhaty
    oucal
    l
    edmeher
    efor
    ?

    Mhambi
    :“Moses,
    ungay
    enzi
    lent
    o.Uzozi
    sol
    a.”“
    (Don’
    tdot
    hat
    ,you’
    l
    lregr
    eti
    t.
    )

    Moses:
    “Yeyi
    ,ningi
    jwayel
    akabi
    nina.Ngif
    unal
    omt
    hakat
    hiaphumeaphel
    eemzi
    niwam’
    manj
    e.”
    (
    Iwantthi
    switchoutofmyhouse,now.)

    Seer
    :“Ubi
    zabani
    ngo‘
    mthakat
    hi?
    ”(Whoar
    eyoucal
    l
    ingawi
    tch?
    )

    Moses:
    “Habe!
    !!Usasel
    a?”(
    You’
    rest
    il
    lher
    e.)

    Heshout
    s,he’
    sbeenshout
    ingandhe’
    snotaboutt
    ost
    op.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Thi
    smani
    scr
    azy
    ,thi
    sisi
    nsane.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Vel
    engi
    yahl
    any
    aPet
    uni
    a.Youwantt
    oseehowcr
    azyIam?
    ”(YesI
    ’
    m cr
    azy
    .)

    Hespl
    ashesthewat
    erontheseer
    ’sf
    eetandshejer
    ksupandrunsoutt
    hedoor
    .Mosesr
    ushes
    out
    ,It
    hinkt
    omakesureshegoesoutofthegat
    e.Wefol
    lowbehind.

    Seer
    :“Uzony
    awena,
    li
    bambel
    i
    ngashoni
    .”(
    Youwi
    l
    lregr
    ett
    his.
    )

    Sheshout
    sasshemar
    chesoutt
    hegat
    e.
    Moses:
    “Nawe,
    li
    bambel
    i
    ngashoni
    mthakat
    hi.
    ”(Yout
    oo,
    youwi
    tch)

    Heshout
    sback,
    wear
    elef
    tst
    unned.

    Moses:
    “Nx!Ngil
    angani
    .Onemor
    emov
    eMhambi
    andy
    ouwi
    l
    lleav
    emyhouse.
    ”(Ihav
    ehadi
    t
    wi
    thyoupeopl
    e.)

    Hecli
    ckshi
    stongue,
    spil
    lsthewat
    eronthegr
    assandwalksbackint
    othehouse.Asusual
    peopl
    earewatchi
    ngthi
    sdrama,wearenowknownas‘
    that’f
    amily
    .

    AMARA*

    Chi
    oma:
    “Howcany
    oubesost
    upi
    dandsel
    fi
    shAmar
    a?”

    Chi
    omay
    ell
    sasshewal
    ksi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    shedeci
    dednott
    oknockt
    oday
    .Isi
    tupf
    rom t
    hebed.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easel
    owery
    ourv
    oice,
    myheadi
    sachi
    ng.
    ”

    Idi
    scl
    ose,
    whi
    l
    emassagi
    ngmyhead.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Itshoul
    dhur
    t.Whatt
    hehel
    ldi
    dyouexpect
    ?”

    She’
    ssti
    ll
    shout
    ingandshe’
    sstandi
    ngbef
    oremewit
    hherhandsonherhi
    ps.If
    rownather
    angr
    yfaceasIf
    ailt
    ounderst
    andwhyshe’
    sacti
    ngupli
    ket
    his.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    out
    hinkIdi
    dbut
    ,Idon’
    tli
    key
    ourt
    oneChi
    oma.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “You’
    reachi
    l
    dAmar
    aandIwi
    l
    lchast
    isey
    oul
    i
    keone.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    tknowshecoul
    dbet
    hisst
    ri
    ct.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dIdo?
    ”

    Herf
    rowngr
    ows.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Wow!So,
    youdon’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngwr
    ongwi
    tht
    ryi
    ngt
    otakey
    ourownl
    i
    fe?
    ”

    Oh!
    !!

    Whyi
    sshemaki
    ngabigdeal
    outoft
    his?I
    fsheknewwhatIam goi
    ngt
    hrough,
    shewoul
    dn’
    tbe
    j
    udgi
    ngmel
    iket
    his.

    Me:
    “Whatwoul
    dyouhav
    emedoChi
    oma?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Doy
    ouheary
    our
    sel
    fAmar
    a?”

    Me:“Yes,
    Iwantt
    odi
    eChi
    oma.I
    t’
    stheonl
    ywayIwi
    l
    lbef
    reef
    rom t
    hispl
    ace.Idon’
    twantt
    obe
    her
    e.”

    Shest
    aresatmef
    orawhi
    l
    easi
    fsear
    chi
    ngf
    orsomet
    hingi
    nme.
    Chi
    oma:
    “So,
    you’
    rer
    eadyt
    oleav
    ehi
    m.”

    Idon’
    tknowwhatshe’
    sget
    ti
    ngat
    .

    Me:
    “Who?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Randal
    l
    ,you’
    rer
    eadyt
    owal
    kawayandf
    orgett
    hatheexi
    st.
    ”

    Me:
    “IfIsayy
    es,
    wil
    lhel
    etmego?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Whyar
    eyouaccust
    omedt
    opl
    ayi
    nggames?
    ”

    Me:
    “ Thi
    sisnotagame,t
    hisismyl
    i
    fe.Idi
    dn’
    taskt
    obeher
    eChi
    oma.Whyi
    sitabouthi
    m,when
    I
    ’mtheonewhowaswr onged?”

    Herr
    emar
    ksaboutRandal
    lar
    ebef
    uddl
    i
    ng,
    herwor
    dsar
    evagueasshe’
    snotcl
    earonspeci
    fi
    cs.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ihopey
    ouunder
    standwhaty
    ouhav
    edonebecauseUzewi
    l
    lnotl
    ett
    hispass.
    ”

    Herwordsshakethegroundunderneathme.Ihav
    eseenwhathei scapableof
    ,andi
    tscaresme
    tothi
    nkIwil
    lbepunishedfort
    his.Sheleavesmetomymi ser
    y,mymi ndgoesbackt
    othinki
    ng
    abouthi
    m.‘Nothi
    ngisasitseems’,thesearet
    hewordsheheldlastni
    ght
    .Whatcoul
    ditbe?
    Whyam Ibeingkeptinthedar
    k?

    RANDALL*

    St
    yles:
    “Ify
    ou’
    regoi
    ngt
    odr
    inkt
    hatmuch,
    stayawayf
    rom Amar
    a.Youmi
    ghtscar
    eherwi
    thy
    our
    dr
    unkeneyes.
    ”

    Hev
    oicesoutasIpouranot
    hergl
    assofwhi
    skey
    .

    HowcanInotdrink,thi
    sistheonlyt
    hingthati
    skeepi
    ngmesaneri
    ghtnow.Mymindi
    sall
    ov er
    t
    heplace,
    ther
    e’sthisthi
    ngthat’
    spushingagai
    nstmyhear
    tandI
    ’mtryi
    ngsohar
    dtofi
    ghti
    t.But,
    i
    tseemsIam losingtoit.

    Kissi
    ngAmar awasnotpl
    annedatal
    l
    ,Ihadpromisedt
    hatIwil
    lnevertouchherwit
    houther
    permissi
    on.Havi
    nghercl
    osetomeli
    kethat
    ,feel
    i
    ngherheartbeatagainstmychest.

    Thefearinherey
    es,hert
    rembl
    i
    ngli
    ps.IknewIhadtotast
    ethem orel
    seIwoul
    dregretiti
    fI
    didn’
    t.Ri
    ghti
    nthatv
    erymoment,If
    eltl
    i
    keatrav
    ell
    erlosti
    nadesertwi
    thnowaterorfoodto
    keepmeal i
    ve.

    Ineededtobreat
    he,Iwantedtoli
    veandonlysheheldthebreat
    hmysoulwasyear
    ningf
    or.I
    knewthatIwassuregoingtodieifIdi
    dn’
    ttastehert
    emptingli
    psandnow,
    whatIwasafrai
    dof
    hashappened.Myaddicti
    onforherhasreachedit
    smaximum.

    Imightdenyitt
    oSty
    lesandcannev
    ersayi
    toutl
    oudbut
    ,myhear
    tcannotdenywhati
    twant
    s
    anditi
    scall
    ingoutf
    orAmara.
    Me:
    “YouknowIf
    indy
    oursenseofhumourr
    athert
    ast
    eless.
    ”

    Helaughs,
    I’
    m usedtohi
    scr
    udejokes.Thisi
    swhathedoeswhenhesensest
    hatI
    ’
    mfl
    ust
    ered,
    i
    t’
    shiswaytotryandmakemefeelbetter
    .

    Whatabr
    otherhehasbeent
    omeandIcannotaskf
    orbet
    ter
    .

    St
    yles:“
    Youfi
    ndeveryt
    hingt
    ast
    eless.Youknow,
    Iwast
    alki
    ngt
    oNeo,
    appar
    ent
    lyhewant
    shi
    s
    mothertopr
    ayforyou.
    ”

    Idoubtt
    hisi
    ssomet
    hingIwantt
    oent
    ert
    ain.

    Me:
    “Whatf
    or?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youhav
    eademon.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs,
    Idon’
    tfi
    ndi
    tfunnyatal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Thati
    dioti
    sst
    il
    lal
    i
    ve?
    ”

    He’
    sanui
    sance,
    honest
    ly.

    St
    yles:
    “Yeahandhe’
    scomi
    ngt
    oJobur
    gnextweek.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’si
    fhi
    sbabymamal
    etshi
    m,t
    hatwomanhashi
    mti
    edar
    oundherwai
    st.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Iwonderhowhest
    il
    ltal
    kst
    oomuch,
    Ithoughthewoul
    dber
    est
    rai
    nedbynow.
    ”

    Ther
    aucoussoundofar
    ingi
    ngphonedr
    awsourat
    tent
    ion.

    St
    yles:
    “Wow.I
    t’
    shi
    m.”

    Hegi
    vesmeal
    ookIcannotmakeout
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ment
    iont
    hedev
    il
    ..
    .”

    Ichuckl
    eatt
    hei
    nsi
    dej
    oke.

    Me:
    “Andhewi
    l
    lappear
    .”

    Hesneer
    sashet
    akest
    hecal
    l
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Neo.
    ”

    Heput
    shi
    m onl
    oudspeaker
    .

    Neo:
    “Awe,
    awengaml
    a,or
    engbozza.
    ”(Howar
    eyou,
    boss?
    )

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    rel
    ate,
    Neo.
    ”

    Neo:“Sorr
    ybozza,eish.Mamazal acameoutcl
    eanso,Ihadtodigdeeper
    .Withthisone.Ihadt
    o
    putmyI Tski
    l
    lsont heshelf.Andgo1950’soni
    t.Youknowbef or
    ether
    ewast heinter
    netand
    shi
    t.So,mybrother
    ’sf r
    iend’
    sfri
    endhelpedmewitht
    hisone.Iemail
    edevery
    thingtoyou.”

    St
    yles:
    “Gr
    eat
    ,I’
    l
    lhav
    eal
    ookati
    t.
    ”
    Neo:“So, bonusnyanaSt
    ylos?Aker
    ewearedeal
    i
    nglemamazalamo, soei
    shdi
    espaanisnie
    pap‘nvleisnie.
    ”(HowaboutabonusSt
    yles)(
    Thi
    sjobi
    snoteasy,
    sinceyou’
    rei
    nvest
    igat
    ing
    yourmot her-i
    n-l
    aw.)

    Isawt
    hiscomi
    ng.Thi
    scl
    ownwi
    l
    lnev
    erchange.

    St
    yles:“
    Hey
    ,don’
    tpr
    act
    icey
    ourt
    sot
    sionmet
    wana.Bonusy
    amasi
    mba.
    ”(Youwantabonusf
    or
    what?)

    Neo:“
    Aiibophelobotatamaan,
    mot
    hoar
    eozamal
    i
    femo.Any
    way
    .Di
    dyougi
    veChi
    omamy
    message?”(Li
    feishard.
    )

    He’
    scompl
    aini
    ng,
    not
    hingwear
    enotusedt
    o.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantwi
    thChi
    oma?
    ”

    Ij
    umpi
    n.

    Neo:
    “Ahh!Oga?Howf
    ar?
    ”(Boss,
    howi
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ng?
    )

    Idon’
    tknowwhatgav
    ehi
    mthei
    deat
    hatI
    ’
    m Ni
    ger
    ian,
    thi
    sfool
    ist
    oomuch.

    Me:
    “Fucky
    ou.Whoi
    soga?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ahh,ahh!Oga,wet
    indeyhappen?Yout
    oodeyt
    earhead.
    ”(Boss,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Youar
    e
    t
    ooshort
    -t
    emper ed.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “Her
    ewego.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsashesay
    sthi
    s.

    Neo:“Weitsiubatl
    aspeit
    iorbrook-lux.Eish,
    buty ourwahalaistoobi goga.Ithi
    nkstaminawil
    l
    hel
    py ou,Idon’tknowifyouwill
    finditatcheckers.Butbadi reki
    samodi spazashop,Iwil
    lbr
    ing
    i
    twithmewhenIcomenextweek.Buty ouwill
    hav etopayme.Thr eetofourhoursi
    nthetoil
    et
    andyouwi ll
    comeouthol y,y
    ouwi llevenopenupachur ch.PastorUzeOkol i
    e.”(
    Youneed
    anema, butyourprobl
    em ist
    oobi gforthatboss.)(Theysellstaminaatthetuckshops.)

    Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sheonabout
    ?

    Me:“Theonewhoneedshel
    pher
    eisy
    ous’
    didi
    di.Whydoesy
    ourmot
    herl
    eav
    eyoubehi
    ndwhen
    shegoestochur
    ch?
    ”(Fool
    .)

    St
    ylesl
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “YouneedJesusnt
    wana,
    thatdemoni
    nyouwi
    l
    lgety
    ouki
    l
    led.
    ”(Boy
    .)

    Neol
    aughs,
    hedoesn’
    tseem t
    obeof
    fended.

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouknowy
    ou’
    reaf
    athernow?Sot
    hiscr
    azi
    nessy
    ouhav
    egoi
    ngont
    her
    emustst
    op.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Isabi
    .”(
    Iknow.
    )

    St
    ylesv
    ent
    sinl
    aught
    er.
    I
    ’
    m def
    eat
    edandwher
    ethehel
    ldi
    dhel
    ear
    nNi
    ger
    ianpi
    dgi
    n?

    Neo:“
    Imustgo,Ihaveworkt
    odo.Thepamperswon’tbuyt
    hemsel
    ves.Idon’
    tknowwhatIwas
    t
    hinki
    ngwhenIwasmaki ngababywi
    ththatcr
    azywoman,kest
    aki
    leleyenanoe.
    ”(Di
    aper
    s.)
    (
    I’
    m stuckwi
    thhernow.)

    St
    ylescan’
    tst
    opl
    aughi
    ngwhi
    l
    eIcan’
    twai
    tfort
    hiscal
    ltobeov
    er.

    St
    yles:
    “Yourcr
    azyassat
    tract
    edhercr
    azyass.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Eish,
    Styl
    os.Nowthaty
    ouputitthatway
    .Thet
    hingswedof
    orsex,
    nev
    eragai
    n.I
    ’
    m done,
    Iwi
    ll
    joi
    npastorUzeandbeabishop.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    ocutt
    hiscal
    lorshoul
    dIdot
    hehonour
    s?”

    Neo:
    “Rel
    axoga,
    ahah.
    ”

    Me:“
    Youfucki
    ngi
    diot
    ,remembery
    ou’
    recomi
    ngher
    enextweek.Youwi
    l
    ltel
    lmet
    omyf
    acewho
    ogai
    s.”

    Hest
    art
    slaughi
    ngl
    i
    ket
    hei
    diothei
    s.

    Neo:
    “Randy
    !Bozzay
    adi
    bozza.
    ”(Bossoft
    hebosses.
    )

    St
    y l
    esisser
    iousl
    yent
    ert
    ainedbyal
    loft
    hisandencour
    agi
    ngi
    t.Igetupandl
    eav
    ethem t
    othei
    r
    i
    diocy.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    31*

    NTOMBI
    *

    “
    WeNt
    ombi
    .
    ”

    Ihav esucceededinavoidingt
    hesewomant il
    lnow,Iam tooashamedtofacet
    hem.Howwi l
    l
    theylookatmeasawomanaf t
    erIstoodbackwhilemyhusbandthrewmydaughteroutoft
    he
    house?Whatbr eaksmet hemostisthat
    ,Ihaven’
    tspokentoLelosi
    nce?Idon’
    thavet
    hegutsto
    callher,
    IknowIwi l
    lbr
    eakdownatt hesoundofhervoice.

    Howwi l
    lIexpl
    aint
    omybabythatIhavefai
    l
    edherasamot her
    ?Ibroughtheri
    ntothisworl
    d
    onl
    ytoturnmybackonher,
    onlytochooseamanov erher
    .Herlov
    eformei sgenuineandpur
    e
    andIcan’
    tsaythesamef
    orMoses.

    Hemightwakeuponedayanddeci
    det
    oleav
    eme.Onl
    ythenwi
    l
    lIbepushedt
    omakeamends
    wi
    thLel
    o.

    Ist
    ophal
    fwayt
    othedoorandwal
    kupt
    othem,
    theyar
    est
    andi
    ngatt
    hegat
    e.Readyf
    orgossi
    p.

    Mar
    tha:
    “YohNt
    ombi
    ,yourhousei
    sfal
    l
    ingapar
    t.
    ”

    Tel
    lmesomet
    hingIdon’
    tknow.

    Tebogo:“Yousee,t
    hisi
    sli
    keanepi
    sodeofgener
    ati
    ons,
    ngi
    shophel
    atheol
    donewi
    thabo
    Ntsi
    kinaboKarabo.
    ”(Imean)

    Mart
    ha:
    “Yoh,
    uyakhumbulaTebogo?Thatwasrealdr
    ama,mor
    eli
    kewhat
    ’shappeni
    ngi
    nyour
    homeNtombi
    .Fi
    rstthatgi
    rlAmandagoesmissi
    ng…”(Your
    emember
    ?)

    Tebogo:
    “Huhwena,
    it’
    sAmar
    a.”(
    you)

    Mart
    ha:“
    Kant
    iakuf
    ani?ShealwaysrespondedwhenIcal
    ledherAmandamoes.Hayi
    ,ni
    yawa
    khet
    haamagamaNt ombi.
    ”(I
    sitnotthesame?)(Thenamesyougiv
    ey ourki
    dsNt
    ombi.
    )

    Nor
    mal
    l
    y,Iwoul
    dhav
    esai
    dsomet
    hing.Idon’
    thav
    eiti
    nmet
    odi
    sput
    eov
    ert
    hisnonsense.

    Tebogo:
    “Mosesi
    sdestr
    oyi
    ngy
    ourhomeNt
    ombi
    ,rememberIt
    oldy
    oul
    ongagot
    hathei
    sdodgy
    ?
    Nowlookwherey
    ouare.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oupeopl
    ewantf
    rom me?
    ”

    Mar
    tha:
    “Hai
    bo!Youpeopl
    e?”

    Tebogo:
    “Wehav
    en’
    tseeny
    oui
    nawhi
    l
    ehauNt
    ombi
    ,l
    et’
    sgot
    omyhousesowecancat
    chup.
    ”

    Iknowt
    heywantt
    obuskonmypr
    obl
    ems.

    Wol
    fsi
    nsheep’
    scl
    othi
    ng.
    Me:
    “Andwhywoul
    dIdot
    hat
    ?”

    Tebogo:
    “Ar
    ewenotf
    ri
    endsnow?
    ”

    Icackl
    eatherquest
    ion.

    Me:“
    Fri
    endsTebogo?Myfri
    endswoul
    d’v
    ehavest
    oodbymewhenmyhusbandwast hrowing
    mychil
    doutofmyhouse.Iexpect
    edy
    oupeopl
    etoatl
    eastt
    akeheri
    nunt
    ilImakeaplan.
    ”

    Mart
    ha:
    “ButNtombi,youknowmyhousei
    ssmal
    l
    .Wher
    ewasshegoi
    ngt
    osl
    eep?AndIdon’
    t
    hav
    eajob,Icanhar
    dlyfeedmysel
    f.
    ”

    Me:“
    It
    ’snotl
    i
    key
    ourhousei
    sthesi
    zeofat
    oil
    etMar
    thaandIwasgoi
    ngt
    ogi
    vey
    oumoneyf
    or
    f
    ood.
    ”

    Mar
    tha:
    “WhataboutMoses?Hewasgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lusf
    oraccommodat
    ingNombul
    elo.
    ”

    Me:“Whatdoyouhav
    etodowi
    thMosesMar
    tha?Hei
    snot
    hingt
    oyouso,
    whywoul
    dhe
    quest
    ionyou?
    ”

    Tebogo:
    “Wher
    eisNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Me:“
    Iwouldtel
    lyoui
    fIknew,Ionl
    yhopet
    hatboyt
    ookheri
    n.Thet
    houghtofmybabybei
    ng
    homel
    essbreaksmyheart
    .”

    That
    ’si
    t,Iwi
    l
    lhav
    etot
    ell
    Mhambi
    thet
    rut
    h.Ev
    eni
    fitcost
    smemymar
    ri
    aget
    hen,
    sobei
    t.

    NOMBULELO*

    Ican’
    tbeli
    eveIhavefoundmy sel
    fbackhere,I
    ’mjustgoi
    ngaroundincir
    clesl
    ikealostsoul
    .Ina
    wayIam, Ihavenot
    hinginthi
    swor l
    d,Ihavenoone.Iam l
    ikethewavesofthesea,goingback
    andfort
    hwi t
    hnodirect
    ionorpurpose.Apartf
    ormyf at
    her’
    shouse,t
    hisiswhatIknow.

    Thispl
    acewasonceashel
    terf
    orme, IcameandwentasIpl
    eased.I
    thasconver
    tedi
    ntoa
    graveandt
    helastt
    imeIwashere,
    Isucceededi
    njumpi
    ngoverthesi
    xfeethol
    eandcheat
    ed
    death.

    Whoi
    stoknowt
    hat
    ,thi
    sti
    meIwi
    l
    lfal
    ltomydemi
    se?

    Ithi
    nki
    twouldbebet
    ter
    ,Igrabmybagandleavebef
    oreZumacomesback,hewil
    ldef
    ini
    tel
    y
    takemyli
    fet
    hist
    imearound.Hekeepsakeyi
    nsideapl
    antt
    hat
    ’sbehi
    ndthehouse.

    Thepl
    acelooksclean,l
    ikeawoman’ stouchsweptt
    hroughherandI
    ’m conv
    incedt
    hati
    twas
    Koket
    so.Thatdesperat
    et hi
    rst
    ybi
    tch,shewil
    lgetwhat’
    scomingtoher
    .

    Ifr
    eezeasIbumpi
    ntohim att
    hedoor,
    he’
    slooki
    ngdownatme.I
    ’
    mfr
    ight
    enedoutofmywi
    ts
    but,Ihav
    esomanyquest
    ionsforhi
    m.

    Whatwentwr
    ong?Whati
    sitt
    hatIwasn’
    tdoi
    ngr
    ight
    ?Howdi
    dyourl
    ovef
    ormet
    urni
    nto
    ani
    mosi
    tyandcr
    uel
    ty?Howdoy
    ouexpectmet
    ogoonwi
    thouty
    ou?

    Justonel
    ookfr
    om you,
    onelookofl
    oveinyoureyesandIwil
    lfor
    giveyou,
    Iwil
    lthr
    owall
    thi
    s
    pai
    naway.Youdon’
    thavet
    osayanythi
    ng,Iwil
    ltakeyoubackl
    ikenothi
    nghappened.

    Theraw,hear
    tbreaki
    ngwor
    dsthatcannotbeunspoken,t
    hosehavebeenimpr
    int
    edi
    nmysoul
    but
    ,justonel
    ookfrom y
    ouandIwil
    llov
    ey oul
    ikeIhaveneverl
    ovedbef
    ore.

    Theseareonlyi
    nmymi ndanditfai
    l
    st ocol
    labor
    atewit
    hmymout handart
    icul
    atet
    hem.But,I
    needhimtoknowal l
    ofthi
    s.Heshatter
    smyhear twi
    ththeunsy
    mpathet
    icl
    ookonhisface,
    my
    hopeisgone.Iam st
    ri
    ppednakedofthisl
    it
    tl
    efai
    thIhad.

    Zuma:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Hi
    svoi
    cest
    il
    lhol
    dsaboxofi
    ceashi
    swor
    dscomeoutascol
    dasami
    d-wi
    nter
    ’sni
    ght
    .

    Myhear tcan’
    tkeepsti
    ll
    ,i
    t’
    salmostsuf
    focati
    ng.I
    tfeel
    sli
    keatr
    ucki
    sst
    andi
    ngonmychest.I
    tis
    saidthatGodislover
    ight?But,
    whydoest hi
    slov
    ehurtli
    kehel
    l
    ?Doesi
    thav
    etofeel
    li
    kea
    thousanddeaths?

    Me:
    “Icamet
    ogetmybag.
    ”

    Iexpl
    ainmyreasonfori
    nvadi
    nghispri
    vacythatoncebel
    ongedtous.Wewereoneperson,
    tr
    avel
    li
    ngatthesamespeedbuthehaschosent oleavemebehindandthepat
    hI’mj
    ourneyi
    ng
    oniseeri
    e.I
    thaslef
    tmeunsight
    ed,Ican’tseewhereIam goi
    ngnordoIknowifIwi
    l
    lgetther
    e.

    Zuma:
    “Ar
    eyoust
    eal
    i
    ngf
    rom meNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Hei
    nter
    rogat
    es,
    thehat
    redi
    nhi
    sey
    eshaski
    l
    ledme.

    Me:
    “HowcanIpossi
    blyst
    eal
    from y
    ouZuzu?
    ”

    Hef
    rowns.

    Me:
    “I…ImeanZuma.
    ”

    Icor
    rectmy
    sel
    f,sheepi
    shl
    y.

    Iwalkpasthi
    m wit
    hease.Foramoment
    ,I’
    mthinki
    nghewon’
    tfol
    l
    owmebut
    ,Icanhearhi
    s
    foot
    stepstr
    eadi
    ngbehi
    ndme.Ishri
    ekashegrabsmyarm.

    RANDALL*

    May beSty
    lesi
    sri
    ght,may
    beIshoul
    dtell
    Amar
    athet
    rut
    h.Thepr
    obl
    em i
    sthatshehat
    esme
    henceshewon’
    tbeli
    evewhat
    everIt
    ell
    her.

    Watchi
    nghersleepbr
    ingsmepeace,
    ithasdonewhatthewhiskeyfai
    ledtodo.Myheartfeel
    s
    l
    ight
    erandbreathi
    ngseemsl
    ikeawalkinthepar
    k,suddenl
    y.Thi
    sisinsane,
    itcan’
    tpossi
    blybe
    r
    eal.
    I
    t’
    sbeenawhil
    esi
    nceIcameint
    otheroom andshehasbeensleepi
    ngsince,
    Ifoughtand
    wrest
    ledwi
    thmyt
    enaci
    oushear
    tthatwassokeeninconvi
    nci
    ngmet otakeherinmyar ms.

    Herey
    esl
    idsfl
    utterafewti
    mesbef
    oreherey
    espopopen,
    shej
    erksupuponseei
    ngme
    st
    andi
    ngatherbedside.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,car
    eful
    .”

    Shef
    rowns,
    herey
    esar
    efi
    l
    ledwi
    thsor
    row.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Sheshr
    ugshershoul
    der
    swi
    thoutl
    ooki
    ngatme.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingy
    ouneedt
    oknow.Wi
    l
    lyoucomewi
    thme?
    ”

    Shegoggl
    esatmewi
    thani
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    ook.

    Amar
    a:“
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Herstubbornnessweakensmebut ,
    atthesamet i
    mei r
    ksme,maki
    ngmewantt ousef orcet
    o
    gethertoli
    stentome.But,Ican’
    tbri
    ngmy sel
    ftodothatasmyownhearthasdeclaredwar
    wit
    hme.Inev erl
    oset
    oany t
    hingbutatthi
    spoint
    ,Iseem t
    obepowerl
    essagai
    nstthisfor
    ce.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a…”

    Iam i
    nter
    rupt
    edbyaknock,
    Ihat
    ebei
    ngdi
    stur
    bed.Whoev
    eri
    tisbet
    terhav
    eagoodexpl
    anat
    ion.

    “
    Boss.
    ”

    I
    t’
    saguar
    d.Isaunt
    ert
    othedoorandopeni
    t,hel
    ooksdi
    str
    aught
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Isnapathi
    m.

    Hi
    m:“
    Ther
    e’sacr
    owdout
    sidet
    hegat
    e,i
    tappear
    stobeast
    ri
    ke.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Theyar
    ewor
    ker
    s,mostoft
    hem ar
    einuni
    for
    mswi
    thy
    ourl
    ogi
    sti
    cscompanynameoni
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,mov
    ethem.Whatt
    hehel
    ldoIpayy
    ouf
    or?
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Wet
    ri
    edboss,
    butt
    heyst
    art
    edt
    hrowi
    ngr
    ocksov
    ert
    hegat
    e.”

    Me:“
    Youpeoplearei
    ncompetent
    ,Idon’
    tknowwhyy
    ou’
    rest
    il
    lher
    ewhenIdoev
    ery
    thi
    ngmy
    sel
    f.
    Whothehel
    lrecommendedyouanyway?”

    It
    urnt
    oAmar
    a,she’
    sst
    ari
    ngi
    ntospace.Ihat
    etoseeherl
    ostl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “Amar
    a.”

    Shel
    ooksupatmewi
    thabl
    ankexpr
    essi
    on.
    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lbeback.
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tcare,
    Ileadtheguardoutandl
    ockthedoorbehi
    ndme.Itpai
    nsmet
    hatIhav
    eto
    keepherl
    ockedupintherebut,
    therei
    snootherwaytokeephersaf
    e.

    Me:
    “St
    ayher
    eandguar
    dthi
    sdoor
    .”

    Henods.

    Ir
    ushdownt
    hest
    air
    s,t
    aki
    ngt
    wost
    epsatat
    ime.

    I
    tsoundslikether
    e’sanupri
    singoutsi
    de,
    ther
    eistoomuchrackettoupsett
    heenti
    re
    nei
    ghbourhood.Ipasstwoguardsthatwerei
    nstr
    uct
    ednevertoleavet
    hedooratall
    cost.
    There’
    safewambl ingabouti
    nt heyar
    dandfourmoreatt
    hegate, t
    woofthem ar
    eengrossed
    onthecrowd.

    Ispottheoddoscill
    ati
    onoftheprotestor
    s,somethingdoesn’
    tseem ri
    ght.Thei
    rundulati
    on
    seemsoutofpl ace,l
    i
    keacoor di
    natedpiece.Ial
    sotakenoti
    ceoft hel
    ogoont hei
    runifor
    ms.It’
    s
    i
    mpr i
    ntedatthebackinboldlett
    ers.Theorigi
    nalonehastwoRs, eachfaci
    ngtheotherside,
    almostmakingitappearasabut t
    erfl
    y.

    IspotFranco’
    smi ni
    oninthecr
    owdandr eachf
    ormygun.That’swheneveryt
    hingfal
    l
    sapart.Al
    l
    fourguardsar
    etakendownatt hesametimewithsi
    l
    encer
    sasIdi dn’
    thearanygunshotsandI
    can’tt
    ellwhoshotthem.Thetr
    oopsdisarr
    ayasawarcrybreaksoutwhil
    e,chargi
    ngtowar
    ds
    thehugeblacksteelgat
    e.

    Theyar
    eat
    tempt
    ingt
    obr
    eaki
    tdownwhi
    l
    esomear
    ecl
    i
    mbi
    ngi
    t.

    Irunforcoverbehi
    ndoneoft het r
    eesthatser
    vesasadr i
    vewayaisl
    e,ateargasisthrownover
    thegateandthere’
    ssmokebef or
    eIcouldcall
    forbackup.Afewmor eguardscomer unni
    ng,
    theyarearmed.Oneoft hem getsshotonhischestandIopenfi
    re,t
    heguar dsdothesamebut,
    wecan’tseeany t
    hing.

    Wemi
    ghtaswel
    lbef
    ight
    ingghost
    s.

    Ther
    e’st
    oomuchsmokeandi
    tseemst
    obeexpandi
    ng.

    Ther
    e’sal
    oudcl
    unkasthegatedr
    opstothefl
    oor
    ,thesmokeseemst
    obecl
    ear
    ingabi
    tandI
    seet
    hemenrunastheyarer
    eadytoat
    tack.

    Rightnow,Icanonlythi
    nkofAmar
    a.Ihavetogettoher,
    thankful
    lymoreguar
    dshavecomeout
    toplay.Thi
    swi l
    lgi
    vemeachancetorunbackinthehouse,IknowLi
    yanaissaf
    ebecausei
    t’
    s
    Amar atheyareaft
    er.

    KHETHU*

    Honest
    ly,
    wehaven’
    tgoneoutj
    ustt
    het
    woofusinawhi
    l
    eandIwashappywhenSt
    yles
    pr
    oposedthatwedr
    essupandgooutf
    ordi
    nner
    .
    I
    t’
    swint
    erbut,
    Ifeltl
    ikewear
    ingshort
    sthi
    nki
    ngwewill
    beindoor
    sandi twon’
    tbet
    hatcol
    d.The
    pr
    obl
    em ist
    hat,Ikeeppul
    li
    ngthem downandhe’
    sbeenst
    eali
    ngglancesatme.

    Hehasn’
    tsai
    dany
    thi
    ngy
    etbut
    ,Iknowi
    t’
    scomi
    ng.

    Thestar
    esI’
    m get
    ti
    ngf r
    om t
    heopposi
    tessexisuncomfort
    abl
    e,Ihavelostcountofthenumber
    ofmenwhohav estr
    ippedmewit
    hthei
    rdisgusti
    nglust
    ful
    eyes.St
    ylesdetect
    edittoo,he’
    sbeen
    wear
    ingthi
    sgloweronhisf
    acesi
    nce.

    St
    yles:
    “Whydi
    dyouweart
    hem i
    fyou’
    l
    lkeeppul
    l
    ingt
    hem down?
    ”

    Ahh,
    ther
    eisi
    t.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tst
    artwi
    thmeSt
    yles.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m al
    readydi
    scont
    ent
    edwi
    tht
    hisweat
    herandt
    hebl
    oodyst
    ares.

    Styl
    es:“
    I’
    mj ustsay
    ing,
    nowl
    ookhowuncomf
    ort
    abl
    eyouar
    e.Cl
    ear
    ly,
    youar
    est
    ruggl
    i
    ngwi
    th
    thoseshor
    ts.”

    It
    hinkhe’
    spl
    anni
    ngonget
    ti
    ngonmyner
    vesandi
    t’
    swor
    king.

    Icont
    inuepl
    oddi
    ng,
    asIchoosenott
    odi
    gni
    fyhi
    sst
    upi
    dcommentwi
    thar
    ipost
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Shor
    tswi
    tht
    ight
    syesbut
    ,hav
    ingal
    lthesebaboonsst
    ari
    ngaty
    ou,
    hel
    lno.
    ”

    Di
    dhej
    ustsayt
    ight
    s?

    Act
    uall
    ytheent
    ir
    eremarki
    sstupi
    d.Il
    ookawayandr
    oll
    myey
    es.Heseesi
    thence,
    hegr
    absmy
    ar
    m andpull
    smeclosert
    ohim.

    Sty
    les:
    “Youshoul
    dteachmehowt
    hat
    ’sdone.Iwantt
    orol
    lmyey
    esaty
    ouaswel
    lso,
    youknow
    howitfeel
    s.”

    Her
    ejoi
    nder
    swi
    thami
    ff
    edt
    one.

    Hisatt
    it
    udeisannoyi
    ngsomet
    imesandcanbeunatt
    racti
    ve.Tear
    sfi
    l
    lmyeyesbut,Imanaget
    o
    bl
    inkthem away
    .Ican’
    ttwi
    gwhyI’
    m suddenl
    ysoemotional
    ,i
    t’
    ssounli
    kemetotearupovera
    tr
    ivi
    almatt
    er.

    St
    yles:
    “IknowImessedupy est
    erdayattheshopandIhavebeenmoodylatel
    y.Iwantedto
    makeituptoyoubyt aki
    ngy
    ouout ,
    Icouldn’
    tbuyyouagift
    .Youhaveever
    ythi
    ngbesides,
    you
    ar
    enoteasilyi
    mpressedbymateri
    althi
    ngsandIdidn’
    tknowhowelsetomakei tuptoyou.
    ”

    Anengagementr
    ingwoul
    dhav
    esuf
    fi
    ced.

    Sty
    les:“
    Iknow,
    Icanbeanasssomet
    imesbutbaby
    ,hav
    ingt
    hosemenst
    areaty
    oul
    i
    ket
    hati
    s
    tor
    turef
    orme.”

    NowImustst
    rokehi
    sego?

    Si
    gh!

    Me:
    “Andy
    ou’
    react
    ual
    l
    ybehav
    edhey
    ,orel
    sey
    ouwoul
    d’v
    ecauseddr
    ama.
    ”
    It
    hrowi
    naj
    oke,
    thi
    sismet
    ryi
    ngt
    oli
    ght
    enupt
    hemood.

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’snotf
    unnyKhet
    hu.
    ”

    I
    ’mt emptedt orol
    lmyey esagainbut,
    Ipushi taway.I
    t’
    sagoodt hingwe’r
    ealmostoutofthe
    mall,I
    ’
    m donewi t
    hhissulki
    ngandwhi ni
    ng.Can’tawomanwantt ofeel
    goodwi t
    houtsomebig
    babygrumbl i
    ngaboutit?Wewal koutandt hisst
    rongicywindsmashesagainstme,pushingme
    backal i
    tt
    le.Styl
    esrapi
    dlysnakeshisarm aroundmywai standpullsmeclosert
    ohimr i
    ght
    aft
    erputti
    nghi scoatoverme.

    Il
    ookupathi
    m andhe’
    sst
    il
    lsul
    ki
    ng.

    Me:
    “Andt
    hen?
    ”

    Apuckergr
    owsbet
    weenhi
    sey
    ebr
    owsashecont
    inuesl
    eadi
    ngust
    othecar
    .

    Ideci
    det
    olethi
    m be,
    I’
    minnomoodt
    ost
    rokeanego.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    32*

    NOMBULELO*

    Me:
    “Zumal
    etgoofmyhand,
    you’
    rehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”

    Ishoutathi
    m asIy
    ankmyhandf
    rom hi
    shol
    d.

    Zuma:
    “You’
    reat
    hiefnowNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Hesnapsatme.

    Whyi
    shesoangr
    y?

    Me:“Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyour
    avi
    ngonaboutZuma?WhatcanIpossi
    blyst
    eal
    from y
    ou?Youhav
    e
    not
    hing.
    ”

    Hecackl
    es,
    scor
    nful
    l
    y.

    Zuma:
    “Notf
    rom wher
    eI’
    m st
    andi
    ng.You’
    ret
    heonewhoseemst
    obedownandout
    .”

    Thi
    siswhathasbecomeoft
    hisman.Hespewsnot
    hingbutt
    rash.

    Me:
    “Koket
    sot
    aughty
    ouwel
    lhey
    ,youhav
    eaf
    oul
    mout
    hnowZuma.
    ”

    Hi
    seyeswidenasbi
    gasasaucer
    ,hebl
    i
    nksafewti
    mesasi
    ftr
    yingt
    oconceal
    asecr
    etf
    rom hi
    s
    ey
    es.Hebecomesnerv
    ousanddr
    awsbackabit
    .

    Zuma:
    “Ukhul
    umangani
    ?”(
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”

    Hest
    umer
    s.

    Me:“Don’
    tactdump,Iknowwhatyouandmysocalledfr
    iendhavebeendoingbehindmyback.
    Thatwhor
    ecouldn’
    tkeepherbigmouthshut
    ,shev
    entedev er
    ythi
    ngout.Howy outwohav
    e
    beenmakingafooloutofme.Koket
    soofall
    peopl
    eZuma?Wer eyouthatdesper
    ate?
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Hai
    ,she’
    sly
    ing.Iwoul
    dnev
    erl
    ookatherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ,fut
    hishe’
    snotmyt
    ype.
    ”

    Thef
    actt
    hathe’
    sref
    uti
    ngi
    thur
    tsev
    enmor
    e.

    Me:“What
    ’st
    hepoi
    ntofdeny
    ingi
    t,y
    ou’
    vedumpedmer
    ight
    ?So,
    youmi
    ghtaswel
    lcomeout
    andsayi
    t.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Hay
    isuka.Gi
    vemet
    hatbagLel
    o,Iwantt
    osear
    chi
    t.
    ”

    Hesay
    sashegr
    absi
    t.I
    ’
    m notaboutt
    obedi
    srespect
    edl
    i
    ket
    hisso,
    Iti
    ght
    enmygr
    iponi
    t.

    Me:
    “Zumawenzani
    ?Letgoofmybag.
    ”(Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    )

    Wet
    ugandpul
    landhe’
    snotaboutt
    oletgo.Howcanhet
    hinkIst
    olef
    rom hi
    m?
    Me:
    “Zumamaan.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam but
    ,ithasnoef
    fectonhi
    m.He’
    ssoadamantonsear
    chi
    ngmybag.

    Zuma:
    “ Uyi
    bullf
    ight
    ermanj
    eLel
    o?Uhl
    any
    akanj
    evel
    e?”(
    You’
    reaf
    ight
    ernowLel
    o?I
    sthi
    show
    cr
    azyyouget?
    )

    Itrytopushhim awaybut,hi
    sstubbor
    nnessi
    soverpoweri
    ngme.Mydi gnit
    yisatstakehence,
    I
    refusetobetai
    ntedlikeI
    ’
    m nothi
    ng.Event
    ual
    l
    y,herel
    easesandIfall
    ,hi
    tt
    ingthefl
    oorwitha
    thud.Ascream escapesmymout hasmybuttcol
    li
    deswiththehardconcret
    eground.

    “
    Aren’
    tyouashamedoff
    ight
    ingawoman?
    ”

    Ihearaf
    ami
    l
    iarv
    oice,
    it’
    sMbuso.

    I
    ’m bei
    ngli
    ft
    edupf
    rom t
    hegr
    oundbef
    oreIcoul
    dtur
    ntoseehi
    sface.Hest
    andsi
    nfr
    ontofme
    af
    terI’
    m st
    eady
    .

    RANDALL*

    IHopeSt
    yleshasseent
    heSOSt
    extIsenthi
    m.

    Li
    yanacomesr
    unni
    ngt
    omet
    hemomentIent
    ert
    hehouse,
    fol
    l
    owedbychi
    oma.

    Li
    yana:
    “Papa.
    ”

    Iwhi
    skherupasshest
    ret
    chesoutherar
    ms.

    Li
    yana:
    “I’
    m scar
    edpapa.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sokaypr
    incess.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Uze,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Me:
    “TakeLi
    yaandgot
    othebasement
    ,don’
    tcomeoutnomat
    terwhat
    .”

    Li
    yana:
    “Nopapa.
    ”

    Shecr
    iesasIt
    ryt
    oputherdown.

    Me:
    “Li
    ya,
    youneedt
    ogowi
    thChi
    oma.Iwi
    l
    lbebackIpr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Li
    ya:
    “But
    ,I’
    m scar
    ed.Whati
    fyoudon’
    tcomeback?
    ”

    Me:
    “Hav
    eIev
    erl
    i
    edt
    oyou.
    ”

    SheshakesherheadandIpl
    aceherdown.

    Me:
    “Good,
    nowgowi
    thChi
    oma,
    okay
    ?”

    Chi
    oma:
    “WhataboutAmar
    a?”
    Hence,
    I’
    mtr
    yingt
    ogett
    oher
    .

    Isi
    ghasIscanmysurroundi
    ngs,t
    her
    e’snotasingl
    eguardinthi
    shouse.I
    ’
    m di
    sappoi
    nted
    becauseoneoft
    hem wassupposedt
    obel ooki
    ngafterLi
    yana.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’sadoori
    nthebasement
    ,rememberi
    t?”

    Shenods.

    Me:“Youneedtogetint
    hereandl
    ockit.I
    tcanonl
    yunl
    ockfr
    om t
    heinsi
    deso,
    noonewi
    l
    lbe
    abl
    etogetin.Don’
    topenitChi
    oma,l
    estyouheremyvoi
    ceorSt
    yles.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Whatdoy
    oumeanorSt
    yles?Uze,
    youbet
    tercomebackf
    ort
    hischi
    l
    d.”

    Sheexcl
    aimswhi
    l
    ehol
    dingal
    ookofwor
    ryi
    nherey
    es,
    Ilookatmybabywhohasn’
    tst
    opped
    shadi
    ngtear
    s.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lal
    way
    scomebackf
    orher
    .Nowgo.
    ”

    Li
    yanawr
    apsherar
    msar oundmylowert
    orsoasshescr
    eams,t
    here’sst
    il
    lacommoti
    onout
    side.
    I
    fIdel
    ayanyf
    urt
    her
    ,thei
    rli
    veswi
    ll
    beindangerandIwon’
    tbeabl
    et osaveAmara.

    Me:
    “Li
    yana,
    gowi
    thChi
    oma.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “Daabi
    .”(
    No)

    Shescr
    eamsandIknowshei
    sscar
    edbut
    ,thi
    sisnot
    imet
    opaci
    fyher
    .

    Me:
    “Chi
    omat
    akeherawaypl
    ease.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadwit
    hher,t
    uggingascr
    eamingLiy
    anaawayf
    rom me,
    Chi
    omat
    akesherhandandl
    ugsher
    away.Myhear
    tbreaksassheyel
    psforme.

    Iheargunshot
    scomi
    ngf
    rom upst
    air
    sandAmar
    a’sear
    -spl
    i
    tti
    ngscr
    eam.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Moseshasn’ tstoppedcompl aining,Mhambi hasgivenuptry


    ingtomakehim seereasonand
    mysister-i
    n-lawisgi v
    ingherselftherapyinmyki t
    chen,
    cookingupastor
    m.Idon’tknowfor
    whatandI ’
    m surprisedMoseshasn’ tsaidanythi
    ngaboutherwasti
    ngawayhisfood,he
    complainsaboutev erythi
    ngevenhowt hetoi
    l
    etshouldbefl
    ushed.

    Moses:
    “Ineedsomeai
    r.
    ”

    Hei
    ntr
    oducesasheput
    sonaj
    acket
    .

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    If
    oll
    owhi
    mtowar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Moses:
    “Ngi
    the,
    Ineedsomeai
    r.
    ”(Isai
    d)
    Me:
    “Moses,
    youcan’
    tjustl
    eav
    eli
    ket
    hat
    .Weneedt
    otal
    kaboutt
    hisi
    ssueathand.
    ”

    Moses:
    “Di
    dIsayI
    ’
    m notcomi
    ngback?And,
    Iam donet
    alki
    ng.
    ”

    Me: “
    Whodidyoutal
    ktoMoses?Youwer
    escol
    dingusl
    i
    kewear
    eki
    ds,
    youdi
    dn’
    tgi
    veusa
    chancet
    oletonewordout
    .”

    Moses:
    “Ngi
    yak’cel
    aNtombi
    .Ungang’
    borit
    uu.Youpeopl
    ear
    esuf
    focat
    ingme,
    Ican’
    tbr
    eat
    hei
    n
    myownhouse.”(Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tboreme.)

    HelooksatMhambi
    whoi
    swashed-
    outont
    hecouch,
    ther
    e’snoemot
    iononhi
    sfacebutt
    hatof
    def
    eat.

    Moses:“Youbroughty
    ourbr
    othert
    omyhouse,
    sohecandi
    srespectme.I
    sthi
    swhatIdeser
    ve
    asyourhusbandNtombi?
    ”

    Hecomplains.Ihonest
    lydon’
    tknowwhatMoseswant
    sfr
    om me,
    Ican’
    tbepar
    tofhi
    sev
    il
    endeav
    ours.

    Me:
    “Youknowt
    hati
    snott
    rue.
    ”

    Hecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue,
    put
    sonhi
    scapandopenst
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Mosesungahambi
    .”(
    Don’
    tgo.
    )

    Ical
    laf
    terhi
    m but
    ,hedoesn’
    theedmypl
    ea.

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    hay
    i,wozauzohl
    alaphansi
    .Lethi
    m go.
    ”(Comeandsi
    tdown.
    )

    Icl
    oset
    hedooranddoast
    old.

    Mhambi
    :“Lal
    elaNt
    ombi,kusasal
    okhu,wearegoi
    ngtoseeanotherseer.Iheardt
    her
    e’saman
    byt
    henameofS’godi
    aroundhere,appar
    ent
    lyhe’
    spowerf
    ul.
    ”(Li
    sten,t
    omor row)

    Me:
    “Whataboutt
    hatl
    ady
    ?Wewr
    ongedherMhambi
    ,weneedt
    oapol
    ogi
    ze.
    ”

    Mhambi :“
    Andwewi ll
    but,Idoubtshewi l
    lwanttohelpusafterwhatMosesdi
    d.We’
    ll
    gosee
    S’godi
    tomorrow,don’
    ttel
    lhim anyt
    hing.IfMosesdidanyt
    hingtothatchi
    l
    d,hewi
    ll
    havet
    oface
    theconsequences.
    ”

    Iagr
    ee,
    thi
    ngswi
    l
    lfal
    lapar
    tifIcont
    inuet
    oletMosest
    aket
    hewheel
    .

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Iheary
    ou.
    ”

    Mhambi
    :“Jonaswi
    l
    lbeher
    etomor
    rowmor
    ning,
    Itol
    dhi
    m aboutev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Jonasisourbr
    other
    ,heli
    vesi
    nMpumal
    anga.Hasconst
    ruct
    ioncompany
    ,it
    ’snotoutt
    her
    eyet
    but,
    itput
    sfoodonthetabl
    e.

    He’
    snotmarr
    iedanddoesn’
    thav
    echi
    ldren.Hi
    sreasoni
    sthat,
    thewor
    ldi
    sadarkabode,
    where
    nohumandeser
    vestoli
    veandhewouldneverbr
    ingasoult
    otheworl
    dsotheycoul
    dsur
    fer
    .

    He’
    sdeepl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .
    Heistwoy ear
    soldert
    hanMhambi andcanbecrazywhenhewant sto.Mosesdoesn’tl
    ikehi
    m
    becauseonlyhecanstanduptohi
    m, andMhambi i
    stoosoftcomparedtoJonas.Theonlyti
    me
    JonasandMosesgetal ongi
    swhent heyar
    edr
    unk,becausethat
    ’stheonl
    ythingtheyhavein
    common.

    May
    bei
    t’
    sagoodt
    hinghecomesal
    though,
    thathusbandofmi
    newon’
    tbehappyabouti
    t.

    Mhambi
    :“Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingt
    heseersai
    dthathasbeenbot
    her
    ingme.
    ”

    Igi
    vehi
    m aqui
    zzi
    cal
    look.

    Mhambi
    :“Whathappenedt
    oNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    texpecthi
    mtoaskmet
    hat
    .

    Mhambi
    :“AndIwantt
    het
    rut
    hNt
    ombi
    .Wher
    eismyni
    ece?
    ”

    Me:
    “UMosesumxoshi
    l
    e.”(
    Mosest
    hrewherout
    .)

    “
    Ini
    ?”(
    What
    ?)

    It
    urnt
    othesoundofherdazedvoi
    ce,
    she’
    swal
    ki
    ngi
    nfr
    om t
    heki
    tchenwhi
    l
    ewi
    pingherhands
    wi
    thanapr
    onwr appedar
    oundher.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    It
    hiuy
    adl
    alaNt
    ombi
    .”(
    Tel
    lmey
    ou’
    reki
    ddi
    ng.
    )

    Mhambi
    :“Thatmanhasl
    osthi
    smi
    nd.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Whydi
    dhedot
    hat
    ?Whati
    shappeni
    ngi
    nthi
    shouseNt
    ombi
    ?”

    Ihav
    enochoi
    cebutt
    otel
    lthem t
    het
    rut
    h,t
    heyar
    eboundt
    ofi
    ndoutany
    way
    .”

    Me:“
    UNombul
    eloukhul
    elweandMosest
    hrewheroutwhenhef
    oundout
    .”(
    Nombul
    eloi
    s
    pr
    egnant
    .)

    Mhambi
    shakeshi
    shead.

    Mhambi:“Thatdoesn’
    tgi
    vehi
    mther
    ightt
    odowhathedi
    d.Whoi
    sshesupposedt
    otur
    ntoi
    f
    herf
    atherabandonsher?
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Andy
    oul
    eti
    thappen?
    ”

    Me:
    “YouknowhowMosescanbe,
    oncehe’
    smadeuphi
    smi
    nd,
    ther
    eisnot
    urni
    ngback.

    Petuni
    a:“
    Ok’sal
    ayoNtombi ,
    youwatchedherasshewasbeingchasedoutofherfat
    her
    ’shouse
    anddidnothi
    ng.Whatkindofamot herar
    eyou?Howdoy ouletyourdaught
    ersl
    eeponthe
    str
    eetswhil
    eyou’r
    etossingandt
    urningcomfor
    tabl
    yiny
    ourbed?”(Sti
    ll
    )

    She’
    sshout
    ingnow.

    Si
    gh!

    Me:“
    Don’tj
    udgemePetuni
    a,okay
    ?”Youdon’
    tknowwhatIhavebeenthr
    ough,y
    ouhavenoidea
    howIfeel
    .Lel
    oismybabyandIwaspowerl
    essagai
    nstMoses,Icoul
    dn’
    thel
    pherev
    enifI
    want
    edt
    o.”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Haisuka,
    ar ealmot
    herwoul
    dhav ef
    oll
    owedherchi
    l
    d.Youar
    enodi
    ff
    erentf
    rom
    MoseswenaNtombi.Niy
    afanamaan,nx.(
    You’
    rethesameasMoses.
    )

    Sheshout
    sasshemakesherwaybackt
    otheki
    tchen.

    OnedaywhenIl
    osemymi
    nd,
    Pet
    uni
    awi
    l
    ldef
    ini
    tel
    ybet
    hecauseofi
    t.

    Mhambi:“
    Wearebri
    ngi
    ngmyniecehome,
    Idon’
    tcar
    ewhatMosessay
    s.Orel
    sewear
    etaki
    ng
    herwi
    thusbackt
    oPongol
    a.”

    Thel
    ookonhi
    sfacehasmef
    eel
    i
    ngl
    i
    keaf
    ail
    ure.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbuso:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Inodwhiledust
    ingmysel
    f,hepi
    cksmybagf
    rom t
    hegr
    oundandhandsi
    ttome.If
    inditst
    range
    thatheseemstocreepupevery
    wher
    eIam,t
    hisi
    sthet
    hir
    dti
    mewehav emetandri
    ghtherein
    Vaal.

    Mbuso:
    “Howabouty
    oupi
    ckonsomebodyy
    ourownsi
    ze?
    ”

    Hewar
    nsZumawi
    thamenaci
    ngt
    one.

    Zuma:
    “Andt
    hen?I
    phuma’
    phi
    leny
    oni
    ?”(
    Who’
    sthi
    sidi
    ot?
    )

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    frowni
    ngathi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “Ubi
    zabani
    ngeny
    oni
    wenamgodoy
    i?”(
    Whoar
    eyoucal
    l
    ingani
    diot
    ,youbast
    ard?
    )

    Het
    aunt
    sashechar
    gesatZuma,
    Igr
    abhi
    sar
    m pul
    l
    inghi
    m back.

    Me:
    “He’
    snotwor
    thi
    tMbuso.
    ”

    Zumal
    aughsbut
    ,it
    ’snotahappyone.He’
    snar
    kedbyMbuso’
    sret
    ort
    .

    Zuma:
    “Iseey
    oufi
    nal
    lyf
    oundt
    hefatherofthatbast
    ardchi
    l
    dyou’
    recar
    ryi
    ng,
    congr
    atsndoda,
    i
    t’
    sapit
    yyou’
    l
    lbest
    uckwit
    hherf
    orever.
    ”(Man.)

    Mbusogaz
    esatme,Ican’
    treadhi
    sexpr
    essi
    onbut
    ,ei
    therwayt
    hegl
    arei
    nhi
    sey
    esf
    orcesmet
    o
    l
    ookawaymor
    tif
    ied.

    Whowoul
    dn’
    tbeashamedoft
    his?Tohav
    ethemany
    oul
    over
    ejecty
    ouandy
    ourbaby
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Sor
    ryt
    odi
    sappoi
    nty
    oumf
    anabut
    ,thi
    sisbl
    essi
    ngsonbl
    essi
    ngs.
    ”(Boy
    .)

    Hedecl
    aresasheplaceshi
    shandovermyshoul
    derandpul
    lmeclosetohim.Zumal
    aughsl
    i
    ke
    Mbusoj
    ustcrackedajoke,
    thi
    spr
    ovestomethathedoesn’
    ttakemeseri
    ous.
    Zuma:
    “What
    everr
    ocksy
    ourboat
    .”

    Her
    idi
    cul
    eswi
    thast
    upi
    dgr
    inaccompany
    inghi
    sface.

    Mbuso:“Youknowthesayi
    ng‘youdon’
    tknowwhaty ouhaveti
    l
    lit
    ’sgone’
    ?Thatdaywi
    llcome
    f
    ory ouandwhenyoureal
    i
    zewhaty ou’
    velost
    ,don’
    tevendaret
    rytolookf
    orherorIwi
    l
    lbutcher
    you.Iwi
    llst
    artwi
    tht
    hatsmall
    dickofyours.
    ”

    Zumasni
    gger
    sandi
    t’
    sbr
    eaki
    ngmeal
    lov
    ert
    oseehowhedoesn’
    tcar
    eaboutme.

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    odoesn’
    tseem t
    othi
    nkt
    hati
    t’
    ssmal
    l
    ,angi
    shoLel
    o?”(
    RightLel
    o?)

    Hesmi r
    ks,whi
    l
    eheleer
    satmewi
    thaper
    ver
    tedl
    ook.Icl
    enchmyey
    esashi
    swor
    dsshat
    termy
    hear
    tintoamil
    li
    onpi
    eces.

    Mbuso:“Uy
    isili
    masaani
    .Impil
    oyiv
    il
    iandi
    vi
    lil
    i
    yaj
    ika.”(
    You’
    reani
    diotboy
    ,li
    fei
    sli
    keawheel
    .
    Soonerorl
    ateritwi
    l
    lcomearoundt
    owhereyoust
    artedagai
    n.)

    Mbusot
    akesmybagandhandandl
    eadsmetowardsthegate,
    Ilumberbesi
    dehi
    m asZuma’
    s
    wor
    dshavel
    eftmef
    eeli
    ngnumb.Hehasev
    okedthisangeri
    nsi
    demeandIcan’tl
    etitgo.

    Zuma:
    “Enj
    oymyl
    eft
    over
    s.”

    Heshout
    safterusandthat
    ’swhenIl
    oseit–Istop,
    dropmybagandpul
    loutt
    hepi
    stol
    Itook
    f
    rom myfat
    her’sdr
    esser
    .Mbusoseesitanddr
    awsbackinfr
    ight
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o?”

    Hegul
    ps.

    Zumai smyt ar
    get,t
    heneurot
    icl
    ookonhisfaceseemstonudgeatmeperfect
    ly.Iwanthi
    mt o
    beafrai
    dofme, Iwanthimtosuff
    erthewayhehasmademesuf fer
    .Iwanthimt ocryt
    hesame
    pai
    nfultear
    sIcriedandIwanthi
    mt oregr
    etever
    yterr
    ibl
    ethi
    nghehasdonetome.Iwanthi mto
    begforhisli
    fe,
    li
    keIpleadedf
    ormybaby ’
    s.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    33*

    RANDALL*

    ThemanIhadinst
    ructedtoguar
    dAmara’
    sroom i
    slyi
    nginapoolofbl
    oodatt
    hetopoft
    he
    st
    air
    s.Myhear
    tisthuddingsohar
    dagai
    nstmychestthati
    t’
    sbegi
    nni
    ngtohur
    t.

    Thethoughtoff
    indi
    ngAmar
    adeadint
    her
    eisscari
    erthanany
    thingIhaveeverknown.Ij
    ump
    overt
    hedeadmanandt r
    eadtowar
    dst
    heroom,Ihavetobequietj
    ustincaseshe’
    snotalone.

    “Nonrender
    lodi
    ff
    ici
    l
    eperme,
    car
    o,nonmor
    der
    ò.”(
    Don’
    tmaket
    hishar
    dformedear
    ,Iwon’
    t
    bit
    e.)

    Bast
    ard!

    I
    t’
    sFr
    anco’
    sgof
    er,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lhi
    m.

    IhearAmar
    asni
    vel
    l
    ing.

    Ipeept
    hroughtheopendoor,Icanseehisbackandhe’sdr
    essedinall
    black.Amarai
    sthrowi
    ng
    pil
    l
    owsathim andhe’sdodgi
    ngt hem whi
    l
    elaughi
    ngasifhe’
    senjoyi
    ngeverysecondofi
    t.She
    seesmeandst ops,
    hereyespleadforhel
    p,t
    here’
    sabitofr
    eli
    efi
    nthem aswel l
    .

    Iplaceaf i
    ngeronmyl ip,mot
    ioni
    ngthatshedoesn’tsayawor dasIaim mygunattheman.
    Thef earf
    ullookinhereyesgi
    vesherawayandi nresult
    stothat,t
    heminionswiv
    els.Ipul
    lthe
    tr
    igger,notgivi
    nghim achancetoaim hi
    sgun.Hedr opsdeadrighti
    nfrontofAmara,she
    screamsandst agger
    sbackwhilecoveri
    ngherear
    swi thherhands.

    Irushinandenfol
    dherinmyarms,atfi
    rstshedoesn’tholdmebackbuteventual
    l
    y,If
    eelher
    smallarmswraparoundmybroadshoulders.Sheistrembli
    ngli
    kealeaf
    ,Ihol
    dherti
    ghterwhi
    le
    turni
    ngusaroundineff
    ortt
    oshi
    eldherfrom thecorpsebeforeher
    .

    Amar
    a:“
    Youki
    l
    ledhi
    m.”

    Shest
    ateswi
    thanunst
    eadyv
    oice.

    Me:
    “Oneofushadt
    odi
    eandIwasf
    ast
    er.
    ”

    Iexpresswhathappenstobet het
    rut
    h.Shetr
    iest
    opull
    outofmyhol
    d,sti
    ff
    eni
    ngherbodybut,
    I
    refusetoletgoasIseeFrancoandMusastepinf
    oll
    owedbytwoar
    medgoonsal soi
    nblack
    clothi
    ng.Theyguar
    dt hedoorwhil
    e,t
    hosetwosmugmonkeysambl
    einthebedroom.

    MusaisMkhize’
    slapdog,hedesperat
    elywantst
    obeli
    kehisbrot
    herandMkhi
    zeknowsi
    t.
    Hence,
    hemakeshi m doallhi
    sdi
    rtywork,knowi
    ngt
    hatwhentheworstcomest
    othewor
    st.
    Musawill
    takethefal
    l
    , whi
    l
    ehewal ksfr
    ee.

    Ibur
    ymyf
    aceont
    hecr
    ookofherneckandpl
    aceasof
    tki
    ss,
    herbodyl
    oosens.

    Iknowwhi
    chpl
    acest
    otoucht
    omakehermel
    tandshei
    snotawar
    eoft
    hepowerIhav
    eov
    erher
    .
    Thi
    sist
    hewrongti
    meformyfeel
    i
    ngst
    obeseekingatt
    enti
    onbut,
    Ican’
    thel
    pit
    .Iseemor
    e
    momentsl
    i
    kethi
    sone,
    herinmyarms,
    sur
    render
    inghersel
    ftome.

    Myhear
    tfl
    i
    cksatt
    het
    hought
    .

    Me:“Amar
    a,Ineedy
    out
    oli
    stent
    ome.Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    obet
    akenawaybut
    ,Ineedy
    out
    ost
    ay
    cal
    m.”

    Iwhi
    speri
    nherearandsher
    eleasesagasp.

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttr
    ytoputupaf
    ight
    ,theywon’
    thur
    tyou.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Shoul
    dwegi
    vey
    out
    wospaceorar
    eyoudone?
    ”

    Hemocks.

    Amar aquai
    l
    satthesoundofFr
    anco’
    svoi
    ceassher
    ecogni
    zesi
    t.Herar
    mscl
    enchar
    oundme,
    I
    feel
    herhandscl
    i
    ngont omyshirt
    .

    IshootFrancoadeadl
    ystare,
    inasecondnow,Amarawil
    lbeexposedtothei
    rmal
    evol
    entfaces.
    IfIcoul
    d,Iwoul
    dholdherli
    kethi
    sforev
    er,
    justt
    oprot
    ectherf
    rom thedar
    knesst
    hisworl
    dhas
    tooffer
    .

    Me:“Don’
    ttrustt
    hesemenorany one.Whatevert
    heywil
    lsaytoyoui
    sali
    e,donotl
    ist
    ent
    othem.
    Theywil
    ltr
    yt owinyourt
    rustbut
    ,it
    ’sal
    lafaçadetogetyoutodowhatt
    heywant.
    ”

    She’
    scryingnow,
    fearhasengul
    fedher
    .Ir
    ubherback,
    hopi
    ngt
    hati
    twi
    l
    lst
    opherbodyf
    rom
    shudder
    ing.

    Musa:
    “Hai
    bo!Kwanel
    e.”(
    That
    ’senough.
    )

    Musagrunt
    sashehurt
    lest
    owardsus.Het
    ri
    estograbAmarabytheshoul
    derandIsendmyl
    eg
    f
    orwar
    dwi t
    hafor
    ce,ki
    cki
    nghi
    mr i
    ghtonhi
    sstomach.Hefal
    lsbut
    ,get
    sbackupalmost
    i
    mmediatel
    y.

    Amaracan’
    tseeanyt
    hingasshehasherbackagainstthedoorbutshe’
    swhi
    mperi
    ngnow.She
    cansenset
    hedangerinther
    oom.Shehasn’tsai
    dany t
    hing,
    hercri
    esgiveat
    est
    imonyofher
    ter
    ror
    .

    Musat
    ri
    estochar
    geatmeagain,andisstoppedbyFr ancowho’
    sgr
    inni
    ngatme.Thest
    upi
    d
    l
    ookonhi
    sfacesayshehasdecl
    aredhimselfvi
    ctor
    ious.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndy
    oumehemma,
    nomat
    terwhat
    .Youbel
    ongwi
    thme.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Iassur
    eher
    .

    Francodr
    awsouthi
    sgunasheappr
    oachesus,
    hegr
    absAmar
    a’shand.Shescr
    eamsasshe
    holdsonti
    ght
    lyt
    ome.

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttouchhery
    oubast
    ard.
    ”

    Ir
    umbl
    e.
    Hel
    aughs,
    showi
    ngmehi
    sgunandsnat
    chesmi
    nef
    rom me.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Èf
    ini
    taOkol
    i
    e.”(
    It
    ’sov
    erOkol
    i
    e.)

    Hegrowlswhi
    l
    epull
    ingascr
    eamingAmarafr
    om myhold.Itdoesn’
    ttakel
    ongforMusat ohit
    mewithagunonmyheadandI ’
    mthrownonthef
    loorwit
    hasi ngl
    eknock.Amarareleases
    anot
    herscr
    eam,Il
    ookupatherandt
    hetear
    sinhereyesevokethatdarkf
    orceinsi
    deme.

    Me:
    “Sei
    mor
    toFr
    anco.
    ”(You’
    redeadFr
    anco.
    )

    Andt
    hisi
    sapr
    omi
    se.

    Ipul
    lmy
    sel
    fupasFr
    ancol
    aughsatmyt
    hreat
    .

    Fr
    anco:
    “You’
    reaf
    unnymanOkol
    i
    e.”

    Musa:
    “Deadmendon’
    tcr
    ackj
    okes.
    ”

    Musasay
    sashepoi
    ntsagunatme,
    thesef
    ucker
    swer
    einst
    ruct
    edt
    oki
    l
    lme.

    Amar
    a:“
    No,
    pleasedon’
    tki
    l
    lhi
    m.”

    Shepl
    eadsf
    ormysoulwhi
    lest
    ruggl
    i
    ngi
    nFr
    anco’
    shandsandI
    ’
    m ast
    oundedbyhercr
    ies.Now,
    I
    ’m mor
    eeagert
    osaveher
    .

    Franco:
    “Aww!Wouldy oul
    ookatt
    hat
    ,Jul
    i
    eti
    spl
    eadi
    ngf
    ort
    hel
    i
    feofherbel
    ovedRomeo.I
    fucki
    nghateShakesSpear
    .”

    Heder
    ideswi
    thanunemot
    ional
    tone.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndy
    ouAmar
    a,don’
    tfor
    gett
    hat
    .”

    Fr
    ancoandMusal
    augh.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Ki
    l
    lhi
    m.”

    Heinstr
    uctsMusawhost i
    ll
    hasagunpointedatme,Ican’
    tstandAmar
    a’scri
    esofagony.The
    tear
    sthatkissherey
    esli
    ds,ast
    heypushtoswayonherplumpcheeks,exposi
    ngthesecret
    sof
    herhear
    t.Icanbearany
    thi
    ngbut,notasi
    nglet
    eardr
    opi nhereyes.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    rymehemma.
    ”(Myqueen)

    Shescr eam cr
    iesandt
    hat’
    swhenMusapull
    sthetr
    igger,
    pier
    cingmychestwit
    habul
    let
    .Iheara
    fade-awayofthenextt
    hreegunshot
    scol
    l
    aborat
    edwi t
    hAmar a’shear
    twr
    enchi
    ngscr
    eamsandI
    blackout.

    NOMBULELO*

    Zuma’
    swordshav
    elef
    tmef eeli
    ngdesol
    ateandber
    eft
    ,thi
    sgnawi
    ngloveIhav
    ef orhi
    m has
    bi
    rt
    hedthi
    smomentri
    ghthere.Ihav
    epushedoutMbuso’svoi
    cet
    hat
    ’sdesper
    atelyt
    ryi
    ngto
    conv
    incemet
    odr
    opt
    hegun,
    Zumai
    sbef
    oremet
    rembl
    i
    ngl
    i
    keaf
    ool
    .

    Il
    ovethi
    smaninfr
    ontofmebut ,myhatef
    orhimisasstr
    ongasmylove.Noonehaseverhur
    t
    methewayhehas,Iam abrokensoul
    becauseofhi
    m andnowI’
    m st
    andingi
    nfr
    ontofhimli
    ke
    awrecki
    ngbal
    l
    .Iwil
    ldestr
    oyanyonewhostandsinmyway.

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,wenzani
    ?Whati
    sthi
    s?”(
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    )

    Her
    aiseshi
    shandsi
    nsur
    render
    .

    Me:“
    Thi
    siswhatyouhavepl
    ant
    edZuma.Youknowt
    hesay
    ing‘
    your
    eapwhaty
    ousow?I
    t’
    s
    t
    imetor
    eapyoubastar
    d.”

    Zuma:“Lelo,
    pleasebaby
    .Ngiy
    akucel
    as’
    thandwasam’
    beki
    s’bhamuphansi
    .”(
    I’
    m beggi
    ngy
    ou
    mylov
    e, putthegundown.”

    Nowheknowshowt
    obeci
    vi
    l?

    Bl
    oodyhy
    pocr
    it
    e.

    Me:“Don’tf
    ucki
    ngcall
    met hat.YaziZuma,Ilov
    edy ou.Bengi
    kuthand’ukuf
    aandwhatdi
    dyou
    do?Youdestroyedme,youri
    ppedmeapar tandt ookawayeverypartofme.Youki
    l
    ledme
    Zuma.”(YouknowIlovedyoubey ondany
    thing.
    )

    Iscream,dr
    awingat
    tent
    ionf
    rom by
    stander
    s.Idon’
    tcar
    ewhathappenst
    omer
    ightnow,
    Iwant
    thi
    sf ool
    toknowwhathehasdoneandhowIf eel
    .

    Zuma:“I
    ’
    m sor
    ryLel
    o,ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sas’
    thandwasam’
    .Idon’
    tknowwhatcameov
    erme,
    itwast
    he
    dev
    il
    .”

    Thi
    sanger
    sme,
    ever
    ywor
    dcomi
    ngoutoft
    hatl
    yi
    ngmout
    hofhi
    s.

    Me:“ThedevilZuma?Youidi
    ot,lookatyou.Ev
    enatdeat
    h’sdooryousti
    l
    lref
    usetot
    ake
    r
    esponsibi
    l
    ityofyourmi
    stakes.Iwanttoknowwhyy ouhavedest
    royedme,Iwantt
    oknowwhy
    youbetr
    ayedmewhenIl ovedy ou.”

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,putt
    hegundown.Weshoul
    dtal
    kli
    keci
    vi
    li
    zedpeopl
    e.”

    Me: “Nowt hatIhaveaguninmyhand, wehav etobecivil


    ?Whataboutwhenthismanwas
    ri
    ppingmyhear toutofmychest?Noonedar edt ocrycivi
    l,
    ever
    yaccusat
    oryfi
    ngerwaspointed
    atme, asifImademy sel
    fpregnant.Myownf atherchasedmeoutofhishouselikeImeant
    nothingtohim.Icamecr yi
    ngt oyouZuma, onlyforyoutousemeasapunchi ngbag.Am It
    hat
    worthlessthatyouhadt obehostil
    etowardsme? ”

    Zuma:
    “Nobaby
    ,youar
    ewor
    thi
    t.Youar
    ewor
    thev
    ery
    thi
    ng…”

    Me:
    “Shutup,
    stopl
    yi
    ngt
    omey
    oupi
    eceofshi
    t.
    ”

    Iscream athi
    m andhedr
    awsback,
    hisey
    eskeepr
    unni
    ngbackandf
    ort
    htot
    hegunt
    hen,
    tomy
    face.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o….
    ”
    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    Idon’
    twantt
    ohur
    tyou.Onemor
    ewor
    dfr
    om y
    ouandt
    hisgunwi
    l
    lgoof
    f.
    ”

    Iwar
    nhi
    m andhet
    akesaf
    ewst
    epsback,
    Zumadr
    opshi
    shandsandat
    tempt
    stochar
    geatme.

    Me: “
    Keepthoseusel
    esshandsupandi
    fyoumov
    eonemor
    eti
    me,
    yourmot
    herwi
    l
    lbur
    yyou
    nextweek.
    ”

    Ibar
    kandher
    aisest
    hem r
    api
    dly
    .

    I’
    m emot
    ionl
    essatt
    hemomentandit
    ’sal
    lhi
    sfaul
    tthatmyhear
    thasbecomepr
    otect
    iveofme,
    cagi
    ngmef r
    om al
    lemot
    ionst
    hatt
    ryt
    oengulfme.

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,l
    et’
    sgot
    alki
    nsi
    depl
    ease.You’
    l
    lgeti
    ntr
    oubl
    e,someonemi
    ghtcal
    lthepol
    i
    ce.
    ”

    Me:“
    LookatmeZuma.DoIlookl
    i
    keIcar
    eaboutany
    thi
    ngr
    ightnow?Youbr
    okemeand
    empt
    iedme.Iwanty
    outof
    ixme.”

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,comeon.HowdoIev
    endot
    hat
    ?’

    Me:“Idon’
    tknow,
    figur
    eitout
    .Iwantmysoulback,
    Iwanty
    out
    oputmyhear
    tbackt
    oget
    her
    agai
    n.Whatyoudidisi
    nhumaneZuma,it
    ’sev
    il.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m.

    Zuma:“AndIsaidI’
    m sor
    ryokay,Ididn’tmeananyofi
    tLel
    o.Iwasaf
    rai
    dokay
    .Ipani
    ckedwhen
    yout
    oldmet hatyou’
    repregnant
    ,Ifeltbetr
    ayed.
    ”

    Me:“Whatt
    hehel
    ldoest
    hatev
    enmean?Yout
    hinkIdi
    dn’
    tpani
    c?Ihadt
    ogot
    hroughev
    ery
    thi
    ng
    al
    one.”

    Zuma:
    “Iknow,
    I’
    m sor
    rybaby
    .Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tdot
    his,
    don’
    trui
    nyourl
    i
    fe.Thi
    nkoft
    hebaby
    .”

    Me:
    “WhatbabyZuma?Becauseaccor
    dingt
    oyouI
    ’
    m car
    ryi
    ngabast
    ard.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “It
    ’smeLel
    o,y
    ourZuzu.Pl
    ease,
    mybabyl
    owert
    hatt
    hing.
    ”

    Goodhe’
    spl
    eadi
    ngbut
    ,he’
    snotsay
    ingwhatIwantt
    ohear
    .

    Me:
    “Ihat
    eyouZuma,
    Ihat
    eev
    ery
    thi
    ngabouty
    ou.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mly
    ing,
    Ihat
    ehowmuchIl
    ovehi
    m.

    Zuma:
    “Andi
    t’
    smyf
    aul
    t,It
    akef
    ull
    responsi
    bil
    i
    tyoft
    hat
    .”

    Me:“
    Theonl
    yresponsi
    bil
    i
    tyIwanty
    out
    otakei
    soft
    hisbabygr
    owi
    ngi
    nsi
    deme,
    youneedt
    o
    manupZuma.”

    Zuma:
    “Iwi
    l
    l,Ipr
    omi
    se.Iwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofy
    ouandourbaby
    .”

    Me: “
    Yourpromisesmeannothi
    ngt
    ome,
    you’
    renot
    hingbutal
    i
    ar.Gi
    vemeonegoodr
    easonwhy
    Ishouldn’
    tpul
    lthi
    str
    igger
    .”

    Zuma:
    “You’
    renotamur
    der
    er.
    ”

    Me:
    “Notgoodenough.
    ”
    Idon’
    tknowhowbut ,
    Mbusogr
    absmefrom behi
    nd,
    andsnat
    chest
    hegunf
    rom me.Il
    ookatmy
    shakyhandsasIsi
    nkinhi
    sar
    msbawl
    ing.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    vegoty
    ou,
    it’
    sokay
    .”

    Heassur
    esmebut
    ,itdoesn’
    tfeel
    okay
    .Zumawal
    ksupt
    ome,
    wit
    hadi
    str
    aughtexpr
    essi
    on.

    Zuma:
    “Ir
    eal
    l
    yam sor
    ryLel
    o.”

    That
    ’sal
    lhehast
    osay
    ,sor
    ry?Ishoul
    dhav
    epul
    l
    edt
    hebl
    oodyt
    ri
    gger
    .

    Iwat
    chhi
    m ashewal
    ksbackt
    othehouse.

    MOSES*

    Ican’tbel
    iev
    et hatIam sur
    roundedbysensel esspeopl
    e,Ntombi’
    sfami
    l
    yisabunchofstupi
    d
    i
    diots.Ift
    heythinktheycanchall
    engeme, theyhaveanothert
    hingcomi
    ng.Iwi
    l
    lshowthem
    whatIam madeof .Ihadtoleav
    et hathouseorIwouldhav el
    ostmymind.

    Thisi
    smyhi deaway ,myhomeawayf r
    om home.Thi
    stav
    ern,
    Jaftamyoldfr
    iendi
    ntr
    oducedi
    t
    tomey earsback,Iwasstruggl
    i
    ngtogetaj
    obwhileNt
    ombiworkedasanurse.Myegowas
    brui
    sed,havi
    ngbeingf edbyawoman.Shebecamethemanofthehousewhil
    eIwasahouse
    husband,Iwouldcleanandcookandwaitf
    orhert
    ocomehomef rom wor
    k.

    I
    tcametoapointwher
    emyf ri
    endsstar
    tedmockingme,cal
    l
    ingmenamesandthatIl
    eta
    womandominateme.Thisal
    onegavemesleeplessni
    ght
    sandtheonl
    ywaytocopewastot
    urn
    t
    oabott
    leandboydiditcomfor
    tme,itcomf
    ortedmeinwaysNtombinev
    ercoul
    d.

    Butthatalsoledmet ogreed,Isoldmysoul t
    otherootofall
    ev i
    l
    , t
    hel oveofmoney.Gambli
    ng
    wast heeasiestwayt oat
    tai
    nmoney ,luckwasonmysi deforthefirstthr
    eetr
    ies,
    butthefourt
    h
    ti
    meIl osteveryt
    hing.Thi
    nki
    ngi twasn’tagooddayItr
    iedagain,onlytolosemanytimesafter
    that
    .

    I
    tst
    oppedbei
    ngaboutj
    ustt
    hemoneybut
    ,chasi
    ngt
    hatf
    eel
    i
    ngofwi
    nni
    ng.

    ThatiswhenImetMkhize,Jaft
    aint
    roducedhi
    mt ome.Ineededmoneytogambl
    eandNt ombi
    ’
    s
    purseswerenotofgr
    eathelpanymore,shest
    oppedcar
    ryi
    ngcash.Thatwomant
    hinksI
    ’
    m
    stupi
    d,Iwi
    llshowheronedaywhatI’
    m madeof .

    Mkhizelentmeagr eatamountofmoney ,myeyescoul


    dn’
    tbeli
    evewhatwasbef or
    eme.Iguess
    Iwasn’tthi
    nkingst r
    aightbecauseIgambl edi
    tall
    andMkhizewantedtokil
    lmebecauseI
    coul
    dn’tpayhi m back,that
    ’swhenmyl ightbul
    bwhenon.Knowingthathehadmanywi v
    esand
    l
    ikedthem young, Ishowedhi m Amara.Shewasgoingtobemyt i
    cketoutoft
    hisdebt
    ,hefel
    lfor
    heratfir
    stglance.

    Hisplanwastotakeherwhenshe’
    s18but,t
    hingst
    ookagreatt
    urnformewhenIwas
    approachedbyt
    hesemenwhohadani nt
    erestinAmar
    a.Theywouldn’
    ttel
    lmehowtheyknew
    her
    ,orwhatt
    heywant
    edwi
    thher
    .

    All
    theydidwasof f
    ermemoneyandnothingsmell
    ssoheavenl
    ylikeastackofbanknot
    es.I
    gaveinandagreed,besi
    des,
    Iwasn’
    tgai
    ningany
    thi
    ngwithMkhizealt
    houghIowedhim.Now,
    I
    ’mindeeptroubleandhavetot
    hinkofawaytopaythatol
    dfool.

    Icoul
    dbeoutoft
    hehook,
    asIhav
    en’
    tseenhi
    mlat
    ely
    .

    Ntombidoesn’
    tknowthatIspendmostofmymoneyatthet
    avern.Sher
    eal
    l
    ydoesn’
    thav
    eto
    knowaboutit,
    it’
    snotl
    i
    keit’
    sherbusi
    ness.Herj
    obi
    stobeawifetomeandjumpwhenIsay
    j
    ump.

    Ievengotmysel
    fsomeonetol
    oveont
    heside,
    IloveNtombii
    t’
    snotali
    ebut,shei
    snotthe
    samewomanImar ri
    edyear
    sagoandmyloveforheri
    skindofdi
    l
    utednow.Shedoesn’
    thave
    thatf
    ir
    eanymore.

    Therear
    edayswhenIst
    opmy
    sel
    ffr
    om st
    rangl
    i
    nghert
    odeat
    h,day
    swhensher
    ubsmeof
    fthe
    wrongway.

    Mashotohereisdi
    ff
    erent
    ,shegi
    vesmepeace.Shei
    sabr eathoffreshai
    r.Ihav
    et houghtof
    taki
    ngherasmysecondwi f
    e.But
    ,Ntombiwoul
    dkil
    lherbeforeshecansay‘Ido’andIwould
    probabl
    ybediggi
    ngmyowngr aveaswell
    .

    Me:
    “Uy
    abonabr
    awami
    ,thi
    sist
    hel
    i
    fe.
    ”(Yousee,
    myf
    ri
    end.
    )

    Jaft
    a:“Ungashofut
    hi.Si
    thi
    isi
    ngi
    si,
    youcannev
    ergetenoughofagoodt
    hing.
    ”(Youcansayt
    hat
    agai
    n.)(Ther
    e’sanEngli
    shsayi
    ng.
    )

    Iknowhe’
    saskingformorebeers,t
    hishasbeenanever
    ydaythi
    ngsi
    nceIbecameami l
    li
    onrand
    ri
    ch.Mycir
    cleoffr
    iendshasi
    ncreased,
    wedr i
    nkour
    selv
    essil
    l
    yalmostev
    erynight
    .It
    ’sagood
    thi
    ngIcanhandlemybeerorNtombi woul
    dgivemeanearfull
    .

    Jaf
    ta:
    “Wesi
    s’Br
    enda,
    somi
    l
    e.Fi
    l
    lupt
    het
    abl
    esi
    swam’
    .(Wear
    est
    il
    lthi
    rst
    y.)

    Jaf
    tahasnoli
    mit
    .IfheknewhowIgott
    hismoneyhe’
    senj
    oyi
    ng,
    wil
    lthosebeer
    sgodownt
    he
    samewaytheydonow.

    Mashot
    o:“
    HuhahJaf
    ta,
    youwantt
    ofi
    nishmyman’
    smoney
    .”

    Jaft
    a:“Kykhi
    erskat
    .Di
    tisbai
    elate,
    otherwomenar eathomewarmingupthebedf orthei
    r
    husbandswhoareoutdri
    nki
    ng.Sowena, angazi
    ufunani
    la”(
    Lookheresweet
    ie,
    it’
    sv er
    ylat
    e.)(
    I
    don’
    tknowwhaty ouwanther
    e.)

    He’
    sdr
    unk,
    het
    alksshi
    twhenhe’
    swast
    ed.

    Mashot
    o:“
    HeehJaf
    ta,
    heehJaf
    ta.Si
    ngaphaphel
    ani
    tuu.
    ”(Don’
    tbesmar
    twi
    thme.
    )

    Me:“
    Awungitshel
    eJaf
    ta,
    uzodlai
    mal
    iyami
    kuzekubeni
    ni.
    ”(Tel
    lmeJaf
    ta,
    howl
    ongdoy
    ou
    pl
    anonspendingmymoney?)

    Jaf
    ta:
    “HaiboMosesbr
    awam’ khohl
    walokho.As’
    phuzeni
    nabut
    shwal
    a.”(
    Moses,
    myf
    ri
    end.
    For
    getthat
    .Her
    e’st
    healcohol
    ,l
    etusdr
    ink.
    )
    Hest
    atesashegr
    absabot
    tl
    eofbeeraf
    terBr
    endapl
    acest
    hem ont
    het
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “Uzof
    ele‘
    tshwal
    eni
    ndoda.
    ”(Youwi
    l
    ldi
    eofal
    cohol
    .)

    Themusicsuddenl
    yst
    opsandthi
    sfeelsli
    kedéj
    àvu,
    asIseeMkhi
    zewal
    ki
    ngi
    nthet
    aver
    n,now
    I
    ’m conv
    incedt
    hatIwi
    l
    lneverbeatpeaceti
    ll
    Ipaymydebt
    .

    Noonedarestosayawor
    d,Mkhizeisfearedi
    nthisplace.Mykneesbeginshaki
    ngaster
    ror
    engul
    fsme,Iknowhi
    mtobeacol dheartedbast
    ard.Ihaveseenhim ki
    l
    lpeoplewhoowedhim
    money,hemademewatchjustsoIknowwhatwi llhappentomewhenIf ai
    ltopayhi
    m.

    Mkhi
    ze:“
    Wenj
    a,f
    orsomeonewhoi
    sindeepshi
    t,y
    ou’
    resur
    ehav
    inghel
    lofagoodt
    ime.
    ”
    (
    Bast
    ard.
    )

    Isl
    owl
    ypushmy
    sel
    fupashest
    andsi
    nfr
    ontofme.

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    ze?Iwasgoi
    ngt
    ocal
    lyouand…”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Di
    dIsayspeak?
    ”

    Heshout
    s,Ishakemyheadno.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youowemes’
    dudl
    a,don’
    tthi
    nkIhav
    efor
    got
    tenabouti
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iknowy
    ouhav
    en’
    t…”

    Oneofhi
    smenthr
    owsapunchatme, Ist
    umblebackandal
    mostfal
    lonMashoto.Shescreams
    assheget
    supf
    rom t
    hechai
    r.Jaf
    tahasmoved,Ican’
    tseewher
    eheisnow.Somef r
    iendheis.

    Cowar
    d.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “WhenIt
    alk,
    youl
    i
    sten.Si
    yezwana?
    ”(Doy
    ouunder
    stand?
    )

    Me:
    “Yebo.
    ”

    Ican’
    texpresshowembarrassedIam,every
    onei
    swatchi
    ngmetrembl
    ingbef
    oret
    hisman.At
    l
    easttheyareall
    drunk,
    chancesofthem r
    ememberi
    ngthi
    sepi
    sodear
    ezerotonot
    hing.

    Mkhize:
    “Lal
    elakes’phukuphuku.YouandIaregoingtotakealongdri
    v e,Ihaveasur
    pri
    sefor
    you.Thi
    sisonlytoremindyouthatIcandowhat everIwantandangi
    hlulway i
    lut
    homina.”
    (
    Listenyoui
    diot.
    )(Ther
    e’snothi
    ngIcannotdo.)

    Thisi
    sit,t
    hesear
    emylastmomentsonear
    th.Iknowhe’sgoi
    ngtoki
    llme,
    Mkhi
    zedoesn’
    tjust
    takedr
    iveswit
    hyou.Nooneev
    ercomesbackaliv
    efrom t
    hoseri
    des.

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    zengi
    yakucel
    akhabazel
    a,Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndherandbr
    …”(
    I’
    m beggi
    ngy
    ou.
    )

    Irecei
    veanot herpunchfr
    om t
    hesameguy ,t
    histi
    mehet hr
    owsinaki
    ckthemomentIf al
    l
    .I’m
    thi
    nkinghe’sgoingtostopbuthedoesn’
    t,
    he’shavi
    nghiswayonmybody.Punchingandkicki
    ng
    memer ci
    lessly
    ,Irai
    semyeyestolookatMashoto.She’
    ssobbi
    ngwhi
    le,
    frant
    ical
    l
    ywatchingthe
    wholething.

    I
    ’
    m soashamedt
    hatIwantt
    odi
    gahol
    eandhi
    de.Ev
    ery
    onei
    nthi
    spl
    aceknowst
    hati
    ftheydar
    e
    ut
    terasi
    ngl
    ewor
    d,Mkhi
    zewi
    l
    lshoott
    hem wi
    thoutat
    houghtt
    oit
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “St
    op.
    ”

    Hei
    nstr
    uct
    stheman,hepul
    lsbackwit
    hagrinonhi
    sface.It
    hinkIbr
    okear
    ib,
    it’
    sget
    ti
    nghar
    d
    t
    obreat
    heandmybodyfeel
    sli
    keit’
    sonfi
    re.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Indabaawul
    alel
    is’
    dudl
    a.WhenIsay
    ,youdon’
    topeny
    ourst
    inki
    ngmout
    hwhenIspeak,
    Imeani
    t.Now,howaboutwegofort
    hatri
    de.
    ”(Thet
    hingi
    syoudon’
    tli
    sten.
    )

    Thesmir
    konhi
    sfacesendschi
    l
    lsdownmyspine.I
    ’
    m agoner,
    Iwi
    l
    ldi
    eli
    keadog.Twobuf
    f
    men,gr
    abmyarmsanddragmeoutli
    keasackofpotat
    oes.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    34*

    AMARA*

    Somet
    hinggashedi
    nsi
    demewhenthatmanshotRandal
    landIcan’
    tseem t
    ofigureoutwhatit
    i
    s,t
    helastt
    imeIfel
    tsomuchpai
    nwaswhenIsawmypar ent
    slyi
    ngdeadintheirownblood.

    I
    tfel
    tli
    keIwaspl
    eadi
    ngf
    ort
    hei
    rli
    veswhenIi
    mpl
    ored,
    thatt
    heyspar
    eRandal
    l
    ’sl
    i
    fe

    Wear
    einawhi
    teJeep,
    dri
    vi
    ngont
    hef
    ourl
    anehi
    ghwayandal
    lhopei
    slost
    .

    Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    ethatIwatchedhi
    m di
    e.I’
    m st
    il
    lonthi
    smissi
    onoftr
    yingt
    ocatchmybreat
    h,If
    eel
    suff
    ocat
    edandIcan’tstopwonder
    ingwhyseei
    nghim di
    etookev
    erybreat
    hinsi
    deme.

    Mybrai
    nkeepsrepl
    ayi
    ngthatscene,
    Randal
    lbei
    ngshotandIbei
    ngt
    akenaway
    .Itsoundsso
    unr
    eal
    ,l
    ikesomebodyscr
    ipt
    editforme.

    Theskiest
    urnedbl
    ackli
    keaper
    fectst
    orm wascomi
    ng,
    whenwest
    eppedoutoft
    hehouseand
    i
    tstar
    tedrai
    ninggr
    eat
    lyasweenter
    edthecar.

    Ifi
    nditabi
    toddbecause,
    wear
    eint
    hemi
    ddl
    eofJuneandst
    ormsar
    einf
    requentatt
    hist
    imeof
    theyear
    .

    Therearethreepassengersi
    nthi
    sv ehicl
    e,i
    ncl
    udi
    ngme.Ir emembert hisFrancoguy,hemakes
    myskincr awl.I
    ’
    m sit
    ti
    ngwi t
    hhim atthebackwhil
    etheotherguyisdrivi
    ng.Francohasn’
    tsaid
    anythi
    ngsincewegoti nthecar
    ,hehasaguni nhishandandt hat’
    sat hreatonit
    sown.The
    dri
    verthough,hasn’
    tstoppedpl
    ayingloudmusicandsingi
    ngatt hetopofhi sl
    ungs,heappear
    s
    tobeonehappybast ard.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Tur
    ndownt
    hatshi
    t.
    ”

    Hewoofsathi
    m seemi
    ngl
    yfr
    ust
    rat
    ed-t
    hedr
    iverl
    aughs,
    til
    tshi
    sheadt
    otheback,
    thent
    urns
    t
    hevol
    umedown.

    Hi
    m: “
    Won’ty
    ouletmecelebr
    ate?Ihav
    eavengedmybr ot
    her
    ’sdeat
    h.Okol
    i
    eki
    l
    ledmybr
    other
    t
    hatni
    ghtandIhavebeenbayi
    ngforhi
    sbl
    oodev ersi
    nce.
    ”

    Hedecl
    ares,
    hemustbet
    alki
    ngaboutt
    heni
    ghtIwaski
    dnapped.

    Therewasonlyonebl ackmani
    nthatcarandhewasshotdead,Ican’
    tsayitwasRandal
    lwho
    ki
    ll
    edhim because,Iwasbli
    ndf
    olded.I
    t’
    sadif
    fer
    entst
    orytoday
    , asi
    ftheypercei
    vedt
    hatIwi
    l
    l
    notputupaf i
    ght.

    Fr
    anco:“
    Mybrother
    ’sdeathhasbeenavengedtoobut,
    youdon’
    tseemesingi
    ngoutl
    oudl
    i
    kea
    l
    unat
    ic,
    turnt
    hatmusicoffcomplet
    ely
    .It
    ’sbloodygi
    vi
    ngmeaheadache.

    Hi
    m:“
    Whati
    swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Youseem j
    umpyandspookedout
    .”

    Fr
    anco:
    “It
    hinkwef
    uckedupman.
    ”
    Hesoundshor
    ri
    fi
    ed,
    li
    ket
    heydi
    dagr
    eatbl
    under
    .

    Hi
    m:“
    Idon’
    tgeti
    t.
    ”

    Franco:“
    You’r
    estupi
    d,that’
    swhy .Mkhizespeci
    fi
    call
    ywarnedusnottoki
    l
    lthati
    diot
    ,youdon’
    t
    ki
    llanOkoli
    eman.Shi t
    !Myhear thasn’
    tstoppedbeati
    nghardsi
    nceyoupull
    edthetr
    igger
    .
    Somet hi
    ngdoesn’
    tfeelri
    ght,somethi
    ngdar ki
    scoming.”

    Asobsli
    psoutofmymouthasIam r
    emindedt
    hatRandal
    li
    sdead,
    Francot
    urnshi
    sheadand
    gl
    aresatmewit
    haslygr
    inonhi
    sface.

    He’
    ssweat
    ingandl
    ookski
    ndofner
    vous.

    Him:“That
    ’sal
    lamyt
    h.Whati
    she?God?Thatdumpheadisonhi
    swayt
    ohel
    landwe’
    l
    l
    cont
    inuewithl
    i
    feasi
    tis,
    not
    hingbadi
    sgoi
    ngtohappen.

    Thedr
    iverl
    aughsoutl
    oudaggr
    avat
    ingFr
    anco,
    afr
    owni
    sbor
    nonhi
    sface.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Di
    dn’
    tyourbr
    othert
    ell
    youwhathappenswheny
    ouki
    l
    lanOkol
    i
    e?”

    Him:“Hedidbut,
    Idon’
    tbeli
    evethatshit
    .Don’tbeapussyFr
    anco.Wehav
    eachiev
    edwhatmy
    br
    otherfai
    ledt
    odo,wekil
    ledthatbastard.He’
    llbepr
    oudofmewhenItel
    lhi
    m howIt
    ook
    Okol
    ie’
    slif
    eandther
    ewasnot hi
    nghecoul ddoabouti
    t.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Thi
    siswhyIsai
    dyou’
    rest
    upi
    d,y
    ouf
    ool
    .”

    Francobar
    ksandrightafterthat,
    li
    ghtningst
    ri
    kesinfr
    ontoftheJeep.Causi
    ngi
    ttoswerv
    eout
    ofcontr
    ol,
    whi
    lethedriverfightstogaincont
    rolofi
    tbut,
    isfai
    li
    ngandmybodyisknocked
    forwar
    dandsideways.

    Acarthat
    ’st
    rav
    ell
    i
    ngatahi
    ghspeedcl
    angsi
    ntoour
    s,f
    li
    ppi
    ngt
    heJeepov
    er.I
    tscr
    eechesoni
    ts
    back,
    onthehardt
    arr
    oad.

    Myheadsmashesagainstthewindowandtheloudgl
    assr
    esonates,myarmsandlegsare
    fl
    ounder
    inginadesper
    atesear
    chofsomethingtohol
    donto,andstopthemuddl
    edmov ement
    ofmybody .

    Thesceneoft
    heaccidenti
    sfi
    l
    ledwit
    hdeafeni
    ngv
    iolentbangofmetal
    s,asifi
    tishappeni
    ng
    ri
    ghti
    nsidemyhead,
    thesmellofbur
    ntt
    ir
    esandburningvehi
    clesi
    stooint
    enseforwords.

    Mymuscl esfeel
    liketheywerebeingseverel
    ysmashedbyabl untobject
    ,asmybodyi
    spinned
    agai
    nstt
    hecowl oft hecar
    .Icantastethecopperybloodfl
    oodinginmymout h,
    IseeFr
    anco
    wit
    hmyblurredvisionasmyheadf eelsli
    keevery
    thinginsi
    deitisstagnant
    .

    Thetormenti
    ngpainistheonl
    ythi
    ngthathasmedr i
    ft
    inginandoutofconsci
    ousness,
    it’
    s
    keepi
    ngmeawake, pull
    ingmefrom t
    hisgreatneedt
    osleep.I
    nthemeanwhi l
    eIhearhi
    sv oi
    ce
    fadeaway,asIsl
    i
    pi nt
    oaslurpi
    ngdarkness.

    STYLES*
    Khet
    hu:
    “OhmyGodSt
    yles.Whathappenedher
    e?”

    Ihadnochoicebuttobri
    ngKhethuwi t
    hme,ther
    ewasnot imetotakeherbackhome.Sheis
    horr
    if
    iedbythesceneaswedriv
    et hrought
    hecollapsedgateoftheOkoli
    eresi
    dence,t
    herear
    e
    deadbodiesscat
    teredev
    ery
    wher e.Somemenar ealiveandtheyar
    etryi
    ngtopickthemsel
    ves
    up.

    Itl
    ooksli
    keawarhadbrokenouti
    nthispl
    ace,t
    hebloodybast
    ardslef
    tustocl
    eanupthemess.
    IhavenoideahowRandal
    lisdoi
    ng,hebet
    terbeokay.It
    ri
    edtocall
    him,hi
    snumbersentme
    str
    aightt
    ovoicemai
    l
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles?
    ”

    Shetapsmyshoul derandI
    ’mj ol
    tedbacktowhatmymindwastr
    yingtopr
    otectmefr
    om,thi
    s
    gri
    slyscene.Icanonl
    ypraythatRandall
    andLiy
    anaar
    eokay,t
    hat
    ’stheonl
    ypowerIhaveatt
    his
    moment .

    Ipul
    l uponthedr
    iveway,
    jumpoutofthecarandscurr
    yinthehouse,
    leavingKhethubehi
    nd.I
    t’
    s
    rai
    ningcat
    sanddogsoutside,t
    her
    ewasnowar ni
    ngofhail
    stormstonightorrai
    natall
    .So,t
    his
    suddenchangeoftheweatheri
    ssomewhatpecul
    iar
    .

    Thescenei nthehousei sdif


    ferentfr
    om theoneoutside,i
    t’
    sspotl
    ess.Istar
    twit
    hthelounge
    andotherroomsdownst ai
    rs,beforeheadi
    ngupstai
    rst ocheckthebedrooms.Thedeafeni
    ng
    si
    lencecrackst heminusculehopeIhav eoffi
    ndi
    ngt hem al
    ive,
    noonei sansweri
    ngtomy
    desperat
    ecall asIshoutouttheirnames.

    Liy
    ana’
    sr oom i
    st hefi
    rstoneint
    hecor r
    idor,
    it’
    sempty.IrushoutandI’
    m metbyKhet
    huatthe
    topofthestai
    rs,shescreamswhenshet r
    ampl esonadeadbodyandf all
    sontopofi
    t.Ihel
    pher
    upswiftl
    y,t
    hedisturbedlookonherfacehasgr own.Ican’tmol
    li
    fyherr
    ightnow,
    sheneedsto
    bestr
    ong.Ineedhert obest r
    ongforme.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Wher
    eisRandal
    l
    ?”

    Me:
    “Al
    i
    ve,
    hopef
    ull
    y.
    ”

    Istat
    eandhopeasIsauntert
    owardsthebedroom Amarauses,
    myhear
    tisi
    nneedofgr
    eat
    att
    enti
    onasithasn’
    tst
    oppeddrummingagainstmychest.

    Khethugrabsmyar m,f
    oll
    owingbehindme.Ireelback,
    aghastbyRandal
    l’
    sbl
    oodi
    edbodyont
    he
    fl
    oor.Khethur
    eleasesagasp,shehooksherhandsonmyar m andburi
    esherf
    aceonmy
    shoulder
    .

    Gradual
    l
    y,Imov
    eawayfrom her
    .Makingmywayi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    ther
    eisnosi
    gnofAmar
    a.They
    t
    ookherandRandal
    lmusthavefoughtt
    osav
    eher
    …

    Thef
    ir
    stt
    hingIdoi
    stof
    eel
    hispul
    se,
    myhear
    tst
    opsasIf
    eel
    apul
    sat
    iononhi
    sneck.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ishe…”
    Shestopsandheavesasi
    gh,Ifeel
    hergent
    lehandonmyshoulder
    .Idi
    dn’
    treal
    i
    zeIwascr
    ying,
    thesear
    enotonlyt
    earsofsor
    rowbut,j
    oyaswell.Mybr
    otherl
    i
    ves.

    Me:
    “He’
    sal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Ii
    nfor
    m her
    ,mywor
    dscomf
    ort
    ingme.

    Shebr
    eat
    hesasi
    ghofr
    eli
    ef.

    Me:
    “I’
    dbedamned.
    ”

    Acackl
    egl
    i
    desoutofmymout
    hwhenIr
    iphi
    sshi
    rtopen.

    Khet
    hu:
    “He’
    swear
    ingav
    est
    .”

    Sheconf
    ir
    mswhatIal
    readyknow.

    Me:
    “Luckysonofabi
    tch,
    he’
    scheat
    eddeat
    honceagai
    n.”

    Ipr
    ocl
    aim,
    gladl
    y.

    Youcan’
    ttaket
    hisGhanai
    anPr
    incedown,
    theyhav
    etr
    iedandf
    ail
    edbl
    eakl
    y.

    Hehasaf
    leshwoundonhislef
    tshoul
    der
    ,abull
    ethol
    eonhisuppert
    highandt
    wobul
    l
    etsar
    e
    st
    uckont
    hebull
    etpr
    oofvestorel
    sehewould’
    vebeenagoner.

    Me:
    “Hel
    pmegethi
    m ont
    hebed.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Shoul
    dn’
    twecal
    lanambul
    ance?
    ”

    Me:
    “Andsaywhat
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Hel
    ostal
    otofbl
    oodSt
    yles,
    heneedsmedi
    cal
    treat
    ment
    .”

    Me:
    “Andt
    hat
    ,hewi
    l
    lget
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “How?You’
    renotadoct
    or.
    ”

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    hel
    pmegethi
    m ont
    hebed.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ruct
    ,fi
    rml
    y.

    Khet
    hu:
    “ButSt
    yles.
    ..
    ”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pmeornot
    ?Ther
    e’snot
    imet
    owast
    eKhet
    hu.
    ”

    ShelooksatmeasIshootherast
    ernl
    ook,
    shebendsandgr
    abshi
    slegswhi
    l
    eIl
    i
    fthi
    supper
    bodyandweplacehi
    m onthebed.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Shoul
    dIcal
    lanambul
    ance?
    ”

    Sheaskssof
    tl
    ywhi
    l
    elooki
    ngatRandal
    l
    .

    Me:“Getmeabowl
    wit
    hhotwat
    er,
    someger
    m di
    sinf
    ect
    ant
    sandacl
    oth,
    Ineedt
    ocl
    eanhi
    s
    wounds.”
    Ipaynoheedt
    oherquest
    ionasIunst
    rapRandal
    l
    ’sbul
    l
    etpr
    oofv
    est
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesy
    ou’
    reput
    ti
    nghi
    sli
    featr
    isk,
    you’
    renotadoct
    orandhav
    enoexper
    ience.
    ”

    Shi
    t!
    !!

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyougetmet
    hef
    ucki
    ngwat
    erorshoul
    dIdoi
    tmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Ishoutandshecr
    inges.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Don’
    tev
    er,
    speakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hatagai
    n.”

    Sher
    etor
    ts.IknowI
    ’
    mint
    hewr
    ongbut
    ,Iam f
    rust
    rat
    edandshei
    saddi
    ngt
    oit
    .

    Me:“
    I’
    m sor
    ry.LookIwi
    l
    lexpl
    ainev
    ery
    thi
    ngl
    aterokay
    .Wecan’
    ttakeRandal
    ltot
    hehospi
    tal
    ,
    t
    heywil
    lhav
    eusopenacase.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Myf
    atherwi
    l
    lhel
    pus,
    we’
    l
    lex
    plai
    nwhathappenedandhewi
    l
    lfi
    ndwhoev
    erdi
    dthi
    sto
    hi
    m.”

    Me:“Don’
    tbestupi
    dKhethu.Di
    dyouhappentoseethosedeadbodi
    esoutsi
    deorwasIseei
    ng
    t
    hings?Youar
    enott ot
    elly
    ourfat
    heraboutanyoft
    his,
    doyouunder
    stand?”

    Shel
    eer
    satme,
    hermout
    hnotpr
    omi
    si
    ngasi
    ngl
    ewor
    dfr
    om her
    .

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    Isai
    ddoy
    ouunder
    stand?
    ”

    Isnapandshenods.Khet
    hui
    sast
    rongwoman,
    notoncehassheshedat
    earduet
    othi
    sgr
    im
    discov
    ery
    .

    Me:“Ial
    mostf
    orgotLi
    yanaandchi
    oma,
    theyar
    epr
    obabl
    yint
    hebasement
    .Ineedy
    out
    ogoand
    gett
    hem.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Howdoy
    ouknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Me:“
    Ift
    hisi
    sy ourpl
    antomakemelosemymi nd,sweethear
    t,i
    t’
    swor
    king.You’
    rebl
    oody
    pi
    ssi
    ngmeof fri
    ghtnowKhet
    hu.Mustyoubediff
    icul
    t?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    Mynamewhooshesoutofhermout
    h,asi
    fshei
    sast
    oundedbyt
    hehar
    sht
    oneI
    ’
    m addr
    essi
    ng
    herwi
    th.

    Me: “
    Ineedy out
    owor kwit
    hmeher e,pl
    ease.GoandgetLi
    yanaandChi
    omaoutoft
    hat
    basement ,
    theymustbeterr
    ifi
    ed.MakesureLi
    yanadoesn’
    tcomeher
    eandi
    fsheaskswher
    e
    herfatheri
    s,makeupsomet hi
    ng.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Li
    kewhat
    ?”

    Me:“Idon’
    tknow,butitshouldbeconvi
    ncing.Iwil
    ltakecar
    eofRandal
    l.There’
    sanoldrust
    ed
    i
    rondoorinther
    e,turnleftaf
    teryout
    akethestair
    s.Youwon’tmi
    ssit,t
    helightswi
    tchi
    sont he
    l
    eft
    ,ri
    ghtaft
    eryout akethattur
    n.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Okay
    .”
    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Shehur
    ri
    esoutoft
    hebedr
    oom,
    leav
    ingmet
    ocal
    lMbuso.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbuso:
    “Comei
    n.”

    Mbusooffers,ashegestureswit
    hhishandst ret
    chedout
    .Iwalki
    nslowlyandimmediatel
    yscan
    mysurr
    oundi ngs.I
    t’
    sabachelorapart
    ment ,onthethi
    rdf
    loor
    .Theentr
    anceleadsyoutothe
    l
    iv
    ingr
    oom, af iveseat
    erroyal
    bluecornercouchissit
    uat
    edinthemiddleofther
    oom,wi t
    ha
    f
    ewmust ardcushionsdeckedoni t
    scorners.

    Whatanoddcol
    ourcombi
    nat
    ion.

    A32inchfl
    atscreent
    elev
    isi
    onposes,f
    aci
    ngt hecouchandthetwoshel
    fTVstand,
    hol
    dsaf ew
    booksandwhatappearstobeol
    dv i
    deocassett
    etapes.Ther
    e’saSonyVCRvi
    deocasset
    te
    pl
    ayerj
    ustonthebott
    om shel
    fandaDSTVdecodernextt oit
    .

    Theli
    ghtgreywal
    lsareornamentedwithafewf amil
    ypi
    ctur
    es,mostlyi
    t’
    sofhim andtwogir
    ls
    youngert
    hanhim.Theyhav ethesamefaci
    alfeatur
    eswit
    hslightdi
    ff
    erences,
    abigpict
    ure
    fr
    amewi t
    hanelderl
    ylookingcouplet
    akest
    hespotl i
    ghti
    nthisroom.

    It
    ’sonthewall
    rightabov
    ethecouch,i
    t’
    sthefir
    stthi
    ngyouseewheny
    ouwal
    kint
    othe
    apart
    ment.I
    fnotthosebli
    ndi
    ngcolour
    fulcouchcushi
    ons.

    Thetinyki
    tchenisbl
    endedwi t
    htheli
    vingroom but,st
    andsaloneont hefarendcorner
    ,justa
    fewstepsfrom t
    hedoor.Asingledoorstai
    nlesssteelf
    ridgeinhabi
    tsthatsmal
    lspaceand
    port
    ableredkit
    chencabinet
    swi t
    hstai
    nlesssteelappl
    iances.It
    ’saprett
    ykit
    chenforabachelor
    .

    Ther
    ear
    est
    air
    swi
    thmay
    bet
    enst
    epsl
    eadi
    ngupst
    air
    s.That
    ’sal
    lther
    eist
    othi
    spar
    toft
    hef
    loor
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Makey
    our
    sel
    fathome.
    ”

    Hel
    eadsmet
    othecouch,
    Itakeasi
    t,i
    tdoesn’
    tfeel
    li
    kehomeandmybodyl
    anguagesni
    tches
    onme.

    Mbuso:
    “Rel
    axLel
    o.”

    Hi
    sfr
    iendl
    ysmi
    l
    egr
    eet
    sme,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveIam t
    rust
    ingacompl
    etest
    rangerwi
    thmyl
    i
    fe.

    Mbuso:
    “Youcanst
    ayher
    e,unt
    ilwef
    igur
    eawayf
    orwar
    d.”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    oimpose.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “IfIt
    houghtso,
    thenIwoul
    dn’
    thav
    ebr
    oughty
    ouher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Look,
    Iwaspl
    anni
    ngongoi
    ngt
    omyuncl
    einPongol
    aso…”

    Mbuso:
    “Thebundus?
    ”(Ther
    ural
    areas?
    )
    Inod.

    Me:
    “Ineedabr
    eakf
    rom Gaut
    engany
    way
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Real
    l
    y?”

    Hesit
    snexttomeandl
    ooksatme,Idr
    opmygaze.He’
    sthatt
    ypet
    hatl
    eer
    sdeepi
    ntoy
    ourey
    es
    whenspeaki
    ngtoy
    ou,i
    tki
    ndofget
    suncomf
    ort
    able.

    Mbuso:“Youcan’
    tpossi
    blyt
    ell
    met
    haty
    ou’
    rer
    eadyt
    ogoandshar
    eahousewi
    thchi
    ckensand
    goat
    s.”

    Hesay
    ssmi
    l
    ing,
    Ilaugh.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’snot
    hingwr
    ongwi
    tht
    hat
    .”

    Mbuso:“Yesbut
    ,youdon’
    tlookl
    iket
    hetype.Imeant
    henei
    ghbour
    smightthi
    nky
    ouwer
    e
    ki
    dnappedorsomethi
    ng,i
    ftheyseeyout
    here.Yousi
    mpl
    ywill
    notbl
    endin.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’si
    nsane,
    giv
    emeaweekandIwi
    l
    llookl
    i
    keIwasbr
    edt
    her
    e.”

    Hislaughf
    il
    lstheroom,it’
    ssoothi
    ngandcomf or
    ti
    ng.May
    beInoti
    cebecause,hei
    sthefi
    rst
    persontot
    reatmewi thkindnesssi
    nceIbeganmypathonthi
    sdarkr
    oad.Ineedafri
    endl
    yface
    ri
    ghtnoworIwi l
    lcrack.

    Mbuso:
    “Iam y
    ett
    oseet
    hatdayal
    though,
    Idoubti
    twi
    l
    lcome.
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    reani
    ceper
    sonMbusoandIdon’
    twantt
    otakeadv
    ant
    ageofy
    ourki
    ndness.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Don’
    tbesi
    l
    ly.I
    fthat
    ’st
    hecaset
    hen,
    letme,
    takeadv
    ant
    ageofmyki
    ndness.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Thi
    sishi
    s…argh!I
    ’
    v el
    ostcountoft
    henumberofsmil
    eshisfacehasaccepted,sincewewer
    e
    i
    nthecaronourwayhere.WeareinRandburg,
    int
    heest
    atesofWindsoreast.I
    t’sanice
    compar
    tment,
    well
    -guar
    dedandv er
    ypri
    vate.

    Mbuso:
    “Besi
    des,
    whowi
    l
    lfeedy
    ourcr
    avi
    ngsi
    nthemi
    ddl
    eoft
    heni
    ght
    ?”

    Myheartl
    eapsasI
    ’
    mr emi
    ndedonceagai
    nthat,
    Ihaveahumangrowingi
    nsi
    deme.Whatwi
    l
    l
    becomeofmybaby?Howwil
    lIexpl
    ainhi
    sfat
    her’
    sabsencei
    nhi
    slif
    e?

    Mbuso:
    “And,Idoubty
    ouruncl
    eknowsanyt
    hingaboutpregnancyf
    oodcr
    avi
    ngs.Hewi
    l
    l
    pr
    obabl
    ytel
    lyoutodownitwit
    hsugarwat
    erorsomething.
    ”

    Heexpressesasheseesmygl
    oomymoodt
    akeov
    ermybody
    ,I’
    m abl
    etol
    etoutal
    aughi
    nthe
    midstofi
    t.

    Mbuso:“IwantyoutobefreeLel
    oandtr
    ynott
    ost
    resst
    oomuch,
    youhav
    esomeonet
    othi
    nk
    aboutnow.It
    ’snotj
    ustyouanymore.
    ”

    He’
    sri
    ght
    ,Iwoul
    dhat
    etol
    osemybaby
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowhowt
    othanky
    ouMbuso,
    honest
    ly,
    Ihav
    enowor
    ds.
    ”
    Mbuso:
    “Justt
    ryt
    obehappy
    ,thatwi
    l
    lbeenoughf
    orme.
    ”

    Hedecl
    ares.

    Mbuso:“Okay.So,t
    her
    e’st
    wobedroomsinthi
    sflat.Unf
    ort
    unat
    elywewil
    lhavetoshar
    ea
    bat
    hroom.I’
    ll
    t r
    ytobeascleanasIcansi
    nce,
    there’sal
    adynowinthehouse.
    ”

    Hear
    ti
    cul
    ateswhent
    hemomentt
    urnst
    heawkwar
    ddi
    rect
    ion.

    Mbuso:“Yousawthekit
    chenri
    ght
    ?Iusuall
    ydogrocer
    iesonceaweek.Thef
    ri
    dgeiskindof
    emptyr
    ightnowbut,t
    here’
    slef
    toverpi
    zzafr
    om l
    astni
    ghtwhich,
    Ial
    sohad…for…breakfast
    .”

    Hesendshi
    shandbehi
    ndhi
    sneckandr
    ubsi
    t,asi
    fashamedofhi
    sconf
    essi
    on.

    Ir
    espondwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    ltr
    ynott
    oli
    vel
    i
    keat
    rol
    l
    .”

    Hemakesagoof
    yfaceasheassur
    esme,
    itt
    ickl
    esmyl
    aughbone.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou,
    I’
    ll
    dot
    hewashi
    ngandcl
    eani
    ngsi
    nce,
    Ican’
    tpayy
    our
    ightnow.
    ”

    Mbuso:“
    Then,
    I’
    llbei
    nsul
    tedi
    fyoudothat
    .Iwanty
    outobemyroommat
    e, notmyhousehel
    p.
    Ther
    eissomeonewhocomest ocl
    eantwi
    ceaweek,y
    ourj
    obherei
    stor
    elaxandtakecar
    eof
    l
    it
    tl
    eGokuther
    e.”

    Ohhel
    lno!
    !!

    Me:
    “Ir
    ebuket
    hat
    .”

    Hel
    aughsoutl
    oud.

    Mbuso:
    “Why
    ?It
    ’sani
    cenamef
    orababy
    .”

    Me:“
    No,youcan’
    tcal
    lhi
    mthat
    .ThesenamesgrowandIwil
    lnothav
    emybabynamedaf
    ter
    somecr
    azyanimaefar
    mer,
    whofi
    ghtsvil
    l
    ainsf
    oral
    ivi
    ng.
    ”

    Hest
    aresamusedl
    yatme,
    bef
    orebr
    eaki
    ngi
    ntol
    aught
    er.

    Mbuso:
    “Iseey
    ou’
    rei
    nfor
    med.
    ”

    Hest
    ateswhi
    l
    ehi
    smout
    hhol
    dsachuckl
    e.

    Me:
    “YesandIst
    andagai
    nsti
    t.
    ”

    Her
    oll
    sint
    oanot
    herpat
    hofl
    aught
    er.

    Mbuso:
    “Youwi
    l
    lfi
    ndi
    tcut
    eoneday
    ,wheny
    ou’
    rehol
    dinghi
    miny
    ourar
    ms.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ist
    hisy
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    oconv
    incemet
    oconsi
    dert
    hisname?
    ”

    Henods,
    gleami
    ngatmeandIshakemyhead.

    Hi
    sphoner
    ings,
    taki
    ngusawayf
    rom t
    hispendantdebat
    eandhi
    sfacehaschanged.That
    f
    ri
    endl
    ysmi
    leisgonewit
    hthewi
    nd,
    he’sholdi
    ngaf r
    ownandfur
    rowedbrows.
    Hegest
    urest
    obeexcusedasheget
    supandst
    andsaf
    ewf
    eetawayf
    rom me.

    Mbuso:
    “St
    yles?*
    **What
    ?**
    *I’
    m onmyway
    .”

    Hedropsthecal
    lasheturnst
    ome.I’
    mtempt
    edt
    oaski
    fev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    sokay
    ,ashi
    stonegi
    vesan
    al
    armingmessage.But
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    opr
    y.

    Mbuso: “Ihav
    etogo, y
    ourbedr oom istheoneontheright.Ever
    y thi
    ngyouwill
    needisthere
    exceptforatoothbr
    usht hough,I
    ’l
    lpassbythegarageandgety ouone.I’
    m sureyouwon’tmiss
    thebathroom.It
    ’sonthef arendcornerri
    ghtaf
    teryourroom.I ’
    l
    l grabsometakeoutsonmyway
    back,i
    nt hemeantime,youcanf eastonthatl
    eftoverpizza.
    ”

    Hi
    sfacesay
    she’
    snotsur
    eaboutt
    hest
    alepi
    zza.

    Hemakesaf
    ace,
    hav
    ingmel
    aughwi
    thdel
    i
    ght
    .

    Me:
    “May
    benot
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “Yeah,
    hey
    .”

    Hi
    shandf
    li
    est
    othebackofhi
    sneckagai
    n,r
    ubbi
    ngi
    tti
    midl
    y.

    Mbuso:
    “Ther
    e’scer
    eal
    andmi
    l
    k.”

    Heel
    ect
    s.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notr
    eal
    l
    yhungr
    y,I
    ’
    llwai
    tfory
    ou.
    ”

    Il
    i
    e,myst
    omachi
    sgr
    umbl
    i
    ng.Ihav
    en’
    thadany
    thi
    ngt
    oeatsi
    nceIt
    hrewupt
    hismor
    ning.

    Mbuso:
    “Hey
    ,li
    keIsai
    d.Makey
    our
    sel
    fathome.
    ”

    Hel
    eav
    esmewi
    tht
    hat
    ,Iguessmyl
    uckhasn’
    trunouty
    et.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    34*

    AMARA*

    Somet
    hinggashedi
    nsi
    demewhenthatmanshotRandal
    landIcan’
    tseem t
    ofigureoutwhatit
    i
    s,t
    helastt
    imeIfel
    tsomuchpai
    nwaswhenIsawmypar ent
    slyi
    ngdeadintheirownblood.

    I
    tfel
    tli
    keIwaspl
    eadi
    ngf
    ort
    hei
    rli
    veswhenIi
    mpl
    ored,
    thatt
    heyspar
    eRandal
    l
    ’sl
    i
    fe

    Wear
    einawhi
    teJeep,
    dri
    vi
    ngont
    hef
    ourl
    anehi
    ghwayandal
    lhopei
    slost
    .

    Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    ethatIwatchedhi
    m di
    e.I’
    m st
    il
    lonthi
    smissi
    onoftr
    yingt
    ocatchmybreat
    h,If
    eel
    suff
    ocat
    edandIcan’tstopwonder
    ingwhyseei
    nghim di
    etookev
    erybreat
    hinsi
    deme.

    Mybrai
    nkeepsrepl
    ayi
    ngthatscene,
    Randal
    lbei
    ngshotandIbei
    ngt
    akenaway
    .Itsoundsso
    unr
    eal
    ,l
    ikesomebodyscr
    ipt
    editforme.

    Theskiest
    urnedbl
    ackli
    keaper
    fectst
    orm wascomi
    ng,
    whenwest
    eppedoutoft
    hehouseand
    i
    tstar
    tedrai
    ninggr
    eat
    lyasweenter
    edthecar.

    Ifi
    nditabi
    toddbecause,
    wear
    eint
    hemi
    ddl
    eofJuneandst
    ormsar
    einf
    requentatt
    hist
    imeof
    theyear
    .

    Therearethreepassengersi
    nthi
    sv ehicl
    e,i
    ncl
    udi
    ngme.Ir emembert hisFrancoguy,hemakes
    myskincr awl.I
    ’
    m sit
    ti
    ngwi t
    hhim atthebackwhil
    etheotherguyisdrivi
    ng.Francohasn’
    tsaid
    anythi
    ngsincewegoti nthecar
    ,hehasaguni nhishandandt hat’
    sat hreatonit
    sown.The
    dri
    verthough,hasn’
    tstoppedpl
    ayingloudmusicandsingi
    ngatt hetopofhi sl
    ungs,heappear
    s
    tobeonehappybast ard.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Tur
    ndownt
    hatshi
    t.
    ”

    Hewoofsathi
    m seemi
    ngl
    yfr
    ust
    rat
    ed-t
    hedr
    iverl
    aughs,
    til
    tshi
    sheadt
    otheback,
    thent
    urns
    t
    hevol
    umedown.

    Hi
    m: “
    Won’ty
    ouletmecelebr
    ate?Ihav
    eavengedmybr ot
    her
    ’sdeat
    h.Okol
    i
    eki
    l
    ledmybr
    other
    t
    hatni
    ghtandIhavebeenbayi
    ngforhi
    sbl
    oodev ersi
    nce.
    ”

    Hedecl
    ares,
    hemustbet
    alki
    ngaboutt
    heni
    ghtIwaski
    dnapped.

    Therewasonlyonebl ackmani
    nthatcarandhewasshotdead,Ican’
    tsayitwasRandal
    lwho
    ki
    ll
    edhim because,Iwasbli
    ndf
    olded.I
    t’
    sadif
    fer
    entst
    orytoday
    , asi
    ftheypercei
    vedt
    hatIwi
    l
    l
    notputupaf i
    ght.

    Fr
    anco:“
    Mybrother
    ’sdeathhasbeenavengedtoobut,
    youdon’
    tseemesingi
    ngoutl
    oudl
    i
    kea
    l
    unat
    ic,
    turnt
    hatmusicoffcomplet
    ely
    .It
    ’sbloodygi
    vi
    ngmeaheadache.

    Hi
    m:“
    Whati
    swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Youseem j
    umpyandspookedout
    .”

    Fr
    anco:
    “It
    hinkwef
    uckedupman.
    ”
    Hesoundshor
    ri
    fi
    ed,
    li
    ket
    heydi
    dagr
    eatbl
    under
    .

    Hi
    m:“
    Idon’
    tgeti
    t.
    ”

    Franco:“
    You’r
    estupi
    d,that’
    swhy .Mkhizespeci
    fi
    call
    ywarnedusnottoki
    l
    lthati
    diot
    ,youdon’
    t
    ki
    llanOkoli
    eman.Shi t
    !Myhear thasn’
    tstoppedbeati
    nghardsi
    nceyoupull
    edthetr
    igger
    .
    Somet hi
    ngdoesn’
    tfeelri
    ght,somethi
    ngdar ki
    scoming.”

    Asobsli
    psoutofmymouthasIam r
    emindedt
    hatRandal
    li
    sdead,
    Francot
    urnshi
    sheadand
    gl
    aresatmewit
    haslygr
    inonhi
    sface.

    He’
    ssweat
    ingandl
    ookski
    ndofner
    vous.

    Him:“That
    ’sal
    lamyt
    h.Whati
    she?God?Thatdumpheadisonhi
    swayt
    ohel
    landwe’
    l
    l
    cont
    inuewithl
    i
    feasi
    tis,
    not
    hingbadi
    sgoi
    ngtohappen.

    Thedr
    iverl
    aughsoutl
    oudaggr
    avat
    ingFr
    anco,
    afr
    owni
    sbor
    nonhi
    sface.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Di
    dn’
    tyourbr
    othert
    ell
    youwhathappenswheny
    ouki
    l
    lanOkol
    i
    e?”

    Him:“Hedidbut,
    Idon’
    tbeli
    evethatshit
    .Don’tbeapussyFr
    anco.Wehav
    eachiev
    edwhatmy
    br
    otherfai
    ledt
    odo,wekil
    ledthatbastard.He’
    llbepr
    oudofmewhenItel
    lhi
    m howIt
    ook
    Okol
    ie’
    slif
    eandther
    ewasnot hi
    nghecoul ddoabouti
    t.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Thi
    siswhyIsai
    dyou’
    rest
    upi
    d,y
    ouf
    ool
    .”

    Francobar
    ksandrightafterthat,
    li
    ghtningst
    ri
    kesinfr
    ontoftheJeep.Causi
    ngi
    ttoswerv
    eout
    ofcontr
    ol,
    whi
    lethedriverfightstogaincont
    rolofi
    tbut,
    isfai
    li
    ngandmybodyisknocked
    forwar
    dandsideways.

    Acarthat
    ’st
    rav
    ell
    i
    ngatahi
    ghspeedcl
    angsi
    ntoour
    s,f
    li
    ppi
    ngt
    heJeepov
    er.I
    tscr
    eechesoni
    ts
    back,
    onthehardt
    arr
    oad.

    Myheadsmashesagainstthewindowandtheloudgl
    assr
    esonates,myarmsandlegsare
    fl
    ounder
    inginadesper
    atesear
    chofsomethingtohol
    donto,andstopthemuddl
    edmov ement
    ofmybody .

    Thesceneoft
    heaccidenti
    sfi
    l
    ledwit
    hdeafeni
    ngv
    iolentbangofmetal
    s,asifi
    tishappeni
    ng
    ri
    ghti
    nsidemyhead,
    thesmellofbur
    ntt
    ir
    esandburningvehi
    clesi
    stooint
    enseforwords.

    Mymuscl esfeel
    liketheywerebeingseverel
    ysmashedbyabl untobject
    ,asmybodyi
    spinned
    agai
    nstt
    hecowl oft hecar
    .Icantastethecopperybloodfl
    oodinginmymout h,
    IseeFr
    anco
    wit
    hmyblurredvisionasmyheadf eelsli
    keevery
    thinginsi
    deitisstagnant
    .

    Thetormenti
    ngpainistheonl
    ythi
    ngthathasmedr i
    ft
    inginandoutofconsci
    ousness,
    it’
    s
    keepi
    ngmeawake, pull
    ingmefrom t
    hisgreatneedt
    osleep.I
    nthemeanwhi l
    eIhearhi
    sv oi
    ce
    fadeaway,asIsl
    i
    pi nt
    oaslurpi
    ngdarkness.

    STYLES*
    Khet
    hu:
    “OhmyGodSt
    yles.Whathappenedher
    e?”

    Ihadnochoicebuttobri
    ngKhethuwi t
    hme,ther
    ewasnot imetotakeherbackhome.Sheis
    horr
    if
    iedbythesceneaswedriv
    et hrought
    hecollapsedgateoftheOkoli
    eresi
    dence,t
    herear
    e
    deadbodiesscat
    teredev
    ery
    wher e.Somemenar ealiveandtheyar
    etryi
    ngtopickthemsel
    ves
    up.

    Itl
    ooksli
    keawarhadbrokenouti
    nthispl
    ace,t
    hebloodybast
    ardslef
    tustocl
    eanupthemess.
    IhavenoideahowRandal
    lisdoi
    ng,hebet
    terbeokay.It
    ri
    edtocall
    him,hi
    snumbersentme
    str
    aightt
    ovoicemai
    l
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles?
    ”

    Shetapsmyshoul derandI
    ’mj ol
    tedbacktowhatmymindwastr
    yingtopr
    otectmefr
    om,thi
    s
    gri
    slyscene.Icanonl
    ypraythatRandall
    andLiy
    anaar
    eokay,t
    hat
    ’stheonl
    ypowerIhaveatt
    his
    moment .

    Ipul
    l uponthedr
    iveway,
    jumpoutofthecarandscurr
    yinthehouse,
    leavingKhethubehi
    nd.I
    t’
    s
    rai
    ningcat
    sanddogsoutside,t
    her
    ewasnowar ni
    ngofhail
    stormstonightorrai
    natall
    .So,t
    his
    suddenchangeoftheweatheri
    ssomewhatpecul
    iar
    .

    Thescenei nthehousei sdif


    ferentfr
    om theoneoutside,i
    t’
    sspotl
    ess.Istar
    twit
    hthelounge
    andotherroomsdownst ai
    rs,beforeheadi
    ngupstai
    rst ocheckthebedrooms.Thedeafeni
    ng
    si
    lencecrackst heminusculehopeIhav eoffi
    ndi
    ngt hem al
    ive,
    noonei sansweri
    ngtomy
    desperat
    ecall asIshoutouttheirnames.

    Liy
    ana’
    sr oom i
    st hefi
    rstoneint
    hecor r
    idor,
    it’
    sempty.IrushoutandI’
    m metbyKhet
    huatthe
    topofthestai
    rs,shescreamswhenshet r
    ampl esonadeadbodyandf all
    sontopofi
    t.Ihel
    pher
    upswiftl
    y,t
    hedisturbedlookonherfacehasgr own.Ican’tmol
    li
    fyherr
    ightnow,
    sheneedsto
    bestr
    ong.Ineedhert obest r
    ongforme.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Wher
    eisRandal
    l
    ?”

    Me:
    “Al
    i
    ve,
    hopef
    ull
    y.
    ”

    Istat
    eandhopeasIsauntert
    owardsthebedroom Amarauses,
    myhear
    tisi
    nneedofgr
    eat
    att
    enti
    onasithasn’
    tst
    oppeddrummingagainstmychest.

    Khethugrabsmyar m,f
    oll
    owingbehindme.Ireelback,
    aghastbyRandal
    l’
    sbl
    oodi
    edbodyont
    he
    fl
    oor.Khethur
    eleasesagasp,shehooksherhandsonmyar m andburi
    esherf
    aceonmy
    shoulder
    .

    Gradual
    l
    y,Imov
    eawayfrom her
    .Makingmywayi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    ther
    eisnosi
    gnofAmar
    a.They
    t
    ookherandRandal
    lmusthavefoughtt
    osav
    eher
    …

    Thef
    ir
    stt
    hingIdoi
    stof
    eel
    hispul
    se,
    myhear
    tst
    opsasIf
    eel
    apul
    sat
    iononhi
    sneck.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ishe…”
    Shestopsandheavesasi
    gh,Ifeel
    hergent
    lehandonmyshoulder
    .Idi
    dn’
    treal
    i
    zeIwascr
    ying,
    thesear
    enotonlyt
    earsofsor
    rowbut,j
    oyaswell.Mybr
    otherl
    i
    ves.

    Me:
    “He’
    sal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Ii
    nfor
    m her
    ,mywor
    dscomf
    ort
    ingme.

    Shebr
    eat
    hesasi
    ghofr
    eli
    ef.

    Me:
    “I’
    dbedamned.
    ”

    Acackl
    egl
    i
    desoutofmymout
    hwhenIr
    iphi
    sshi
    rtopen.

    Khet
    hu:
    “He’
    swear
    ingav
    est
    .”

    Sheconf
    ir
    mswhatIal
    readyknow.

    Me:
    “Luckysonofabi
    tch,
    he’
    scheat
    eddeat
    honceagai
    n.”

    Ipr
    ocl
    aim,
    gladl
    y.

    Youcan’
    ttaket
    hisGhanai
    anPr
    incedown,
    theyhav
    etr
    iedandf
    ail
    edbl
    eakl
    y.

    Hehasaf
    leshwoundonhislef
    tshoul
    der
    ,abull
    ethol
    eonhisuppert
    highandt
    wobul
    l
    etsar
    e
    st
    uckont
    hebull
    etpr
    oofvestorel
    sehewould’
    vebeenagoner.

    Me:
    “Hel
    pmegethi
    m ont
    hebed.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Shoul
    dn’
    twecal
    lanambul
    ance?
    ”

    Me:
    “Andsaywhat
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Hel
    ostal
    otofbl
    oodSt
    yles,
    heneedsmedi
    cal
    treat
    ment
    .”

    Me:
    “Andt
    hat
    ,hewi
    l
    lget
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “How?You’
    renotadoct
    or.
    ”

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    hel
    pmegethi
    m ont
    hebed.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ruct
    ,fi
    rml
    y.

    Khet
    hu:
    “ButSt
    yles.
    ..
    ”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pmeornot
    ?Ther
    e’snot
    imet
    owast
    eKhet
    hu.
    ”

    ShelooksatmeasIshootherast
    ernl
    ook,
    shebendsandgr
    abshi
    slegswhi
    l
    eIl
    i
    fthi
    supper
    bodyandweplacehi
    m onthebed.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Shoul
    dIcal
    lanambul
    ance?
    ”

    Sheaskssof
    tl
    ywhi
    l
    elooki
    ngatRandal
    l
    .

    Me:“Getmeabowl
    wit
    hhotwat
    er,
    someger
    m di
    sinf
    ect
    ant
    sandacl
    oth,
    Ineedt
    ocl
    eanhi
    s
    wounds.”
    Ipaynoheedt
    oherquest
    ionasIunst
    rapRandal
    l
    ’sbul
    l
    etpr
    oofv
    est
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesy
    ou’
    reput
    ti
    nghi
    sli
    featr
    isk,
    you’
    renotadoct
    orandhav
    enoexper
    ience.
    ”

    Shi
    t!
    !!

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyougetmet
    hef
    ucki
    ngwat
    erorshoul
    dIdoi
    tmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Ishoutandshecr
    inges.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Don’
    tev
    er,
    speakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hatagai
    n.”

    Sher
    etor
    ts.IknowI
    ’
    mint
    hewr
    ongbut
    ,Iam f
    rust
    rat
    edandshei
    saddi
    ngt
    oit
    .

    Me:“
    I’
    m sor
    ry.LookIwi
    l
    lexpl
    ainev
    ery
    thi
    ngl
    aterokay
    .Wecan’
    ttakeRandal
    ltot
    hehospi
    tal
    ,
    t
    heywil
    lhav
    eusopenacase.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Myf
    atherwi
    l
    lhel
    pus,
    we’
    l
    lex
    plai
    nwhathappenedandhewi
    l
    lfi
    ndwhoev
    erdi
    dthi
    sto
    hi
    m.”

    Me:“Don’
    tbestupi
    dKhethu.Di
    dyouhappentoseethosedeadbodi
    esoutsi
    deorwasIseei
    ng
    t
    hings?Youar
    enott ot
    elly
    ourfat
    heraboutanyoft
    his,
    doyouunder
    stand?”

    Shel
    eer
    satme,
    hermout
    hnotpr
    omi
    si
    ngasi
    ngl
    ewor
    dfr
    om her
    .

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    Isai
    ddoy
    ouunder
    stand?
    ”

    Isnapandshenods.Khet
    hui
    sast
    rongwoman,
    notoncehassheshedat
    earduet
    othi
    sgr
    im
    discov
    ery
    .

    Me:“Ial
    mostf
    orgotLi
    yanaandchi
    oma,
    theyar
    epr
    obabl
    yint
    hebasement
    .Ineedy
    out
    ogoand
    gett
    hem.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Howdoy
    ouknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Me:“
    Ift
    hisi
    sy ourpl
    antomakemelosemymi nd,sweethear
    t,i
    t’
    swor
    king.You’
    rebl
    oody
    pi
    ssi
    ngmeof fri
    ghtnowKhet
    hu.Mustyoubediff
    icul
    t?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    Mynamewhooshesoutofhermout
    h,asi
    fshei
    sast
    oundedbyt
    hehar
    sht
    oneI
    ’
    m addr
    essi
    ng
    herwi
    th.

    Me: “
    Ineedy out
    owor kwit
    hmeher e,pl
    ease.GoandgetLi
    yanaandChi
    omaoutoft
    hat
    basement ,
    theymustbeterr
    ifi
    ed.MakesureLi
    yanadoesn’
    tcomeher
    eandi
    fsheaskswher
    e
    herfatheri
    s,makeupsomet hi
    ng.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Li
    kewhat
    ?”

    Me:“Idon’
    tknow,butitshouldbeconvi
    ncing.Iwil
    ltakecar
    eofRandal
    l.There’
    sanoldrust
    ed
    i
    rondoorinther
    e,turnleftaf
    teryout
    akethestair
    s.Youwon’tmi
    ssit,t
    helightswi
    tchi
    sont he
    l
    eft
    ,ri
    ghtaft
    eryout akethattur
    n.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Okay
    .”
    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Shehur
    ri
    esoutoft
    hebedr
    oom,
    leav
    ingmet
    ocal
    lMbuso.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbuso:
    “Comei
    n.”

    Mbusooffers,ashegestureswit
    hhishandst ret
    chedout
    .Iwalki
    nslowlyandimmediatel
    yscan
    mysurr
    oundi ngs.I
    t’
    sabachelorapart
    ment ,onthethi
    rdf
    loor
    .Theentr
    anceleadsyoutothe
    l
    iv
    ingr
    oom, af iveseat
    erroyal
    bluecornercouchissit
    uat
    edinthemiddleofther
    oom,wi t
    ha
    f
    ewmust ardcushionsdeckedoni t
    scorners.

    Whatanoddcol
    ourcombi
    nat
    ion.

    A32inchfl
    atscreent
    elev
    isi
    onposes,f
    aci
    ngt hecouchandthetwoshel
    fTVstand,
    hol
    dsaf ew
    booksandwhatappearstobeol
    dv i
    deocassett
    etapes.Ther
    e’saSonyVCRvi
    deocasset
    te
    pl
    ayerj
    ustonthebott
    om shel
    fandaDSTVdecodernextt oit
    .

    Theli
    ghtgreywal
    lsareornamentedwithafewf amil
    ypi
    ctur
    es,mostlyi
    t’
    sofhim andtwogir
    ls
    youngert
    hanhim.Theyhav ethesamefaci
    alfeatur
    eswit
    hslightdi
    ff
    erences,
    abigpict
    ure
    fr
    amewi t
    hanelderl
    ylookingcouplet
    akest
    hespotl i
    ghti
    nthisroom.

    It
    ’sonthewall
    rightabov
    ethecouch,i
    t’
    sthefir
    stthi
    ngyouseewheny
    ouwal
    kint
    othe
    apart
    ment.I
    fnotthosebli
    ndi
    ngcolour
    fulcouchcushi
    ons.

    Thetinyki
    tchenisbl
    endedwi t
    htheli
    vingroom but,st
    andsaloneont hefarendcorner
    ,justa
    fewstepsfrom t
    hedoor.Asingledoorstai
    nlesssteelf
    ridgeinhabi
    tsthatsmal
    lspaceand
    port
    ableredkit
    chencabinet
    swi t
    hstai
    nlesssteelappl
    iances.It
    ’saprett
    ykit
    chenforabachelor
    .

    Ther
    ear
    est
    air
    swi
    thmay
    bet
    enst
    epsl
    eadi
    ngupst
    air
    s.That
    ’sal
    lther
    eist
    othi
    spar
    toft
    hef
    loor
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Makey
    our
    sel
    fathome.
    ”

    Hel
    eadsmet
    othecouch,
    Itakeasi
    t,i
    tdoesn’
    tfeel
    li
    kehomeandmybodyl
    anguagesni
    tches
    onme.

    Mbuso:
    “Rel
    axLel
    o.”

    Hi
    sfr
    iendl
    ysmi
    l
    egr
    eet
    sme,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveIam t
    rust
    ingacompl
    etest
    rangerwi
    thmyl
    i
    fe.

    Mbuso:
    “Youcanst
    ayher
    e,unt
    ilwef
    igur
    eawayf
    orwar
    d.”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    oimpose.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “IfIt
    houghtso,
    thenIwoul
    dn’
    thav
    ebr
    oughty
    ouher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Look,
    Iwaspl
    anni
    ngongoi
    ngt
    omyuncl
    einPongol
    aso…”

    Mbuso:
    “Thebundus?
    ”(Ther
    ural
    areas?
    )
    Inod.

    Me:
    “Ineedabr
    eakf
    rom Gaut
    engany
    way
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Real
    l
    y?”

    Hesit
    snexttomeandl
    ooksatme,Idr
    opmygaze.He’
    sthatt
    ypet
    hatl
    eer
    sdeepi
    ntoy
    ourey
    es
    whenspeaki
    ngtoy
    ou,i
    tki
    ndofget
    suncomf
    ort
    able.

    Mbuso:“Youcan’
    tpossi
    blyt
    ell
    met
    haty
    ou’
    rer
    eadyt
    ogoandshar
    eahousewi
    thchi
    ckensand
    goat
    s.”

    Hesay
    ssmi
    l
    ing,
    Ilaugh.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’snot
    hingwr
    ongwi
    tht
    hat
    .”

    Mbuso:“Yesbut
    ,youdon’
    tlookl
    iket
    hetype.Imeant
    henei
    ghbour
    smightthi
    nky
    ouwer
    e
    ki
    dnappedorsomethi
    ng,i
    ftheyseeyout
    here.Yousi
    mpl
    ywill
    notbl
    endin.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’si
    nsane,
    giv
    emeaweekandIwi
    l
    llookl
    i
    keIwasbr
    edt
    her
    e.”

    Hislaughf
    il
    lstheroom,it’
    ssoothi
    ngandcomf or
    ti
    ng.May
    beInoti
    cebecause,hei
    sthefi
    rst
    persontot
    reatmewi thkindnesssi
    nceIbeganmypathonthi
    sdarkr
    oad.Ineedafri
    endl
    yface
    ri
    ghtnoworIwi l
    lcrack.

    Mbuso:
    “Iam y
    ett
    oseet
    hatdayal
    though,
    Idoubti
    twi
    l
    lcome.
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    reani
    ceper
    sonMbusoandIdon’
    twantt
    otakeadv
    ant
    ageofy
    ourki
    ndness.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Don’
    tbesi
    l
    ly.I
    fthat
    ’st
    hecaset
    hen,
    letme,
    takeadv
    ant
    ageofmyki
    ndness.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Thi
    sishi
    s…argh!I
    ’
    v el
    ostcountoft
    henumberofsmil
    eshisfacehasaccepted,sincewewer
    e
    i
    nthecaronourwayhere.WeareinRandburg,
    int
    heest
    atesofWindsoreast.I
    t’sanice
    compar
    tment,
    well
    -guar
    dedandv er
    ypri
    vate.

    Mbuso:
    “Besi
    des,
    whowi
    l
    lfeedy
    ourcr
    avi
    ngsi
    nthemi
    ddl
    eoft
    heni
    ght
    ?”

    Myheartl
    eapsasI
    ’
    mr emi
    ndedonceagai
    nthat,
    Ihaveahumangrowingi
    nsi
    deme.Whatwi
    l
    l
    becomeofmybaby?Howwil
    lIexpl
    ainhi
    sfat
    her’
    sabsencei
    nhi
    slif
    e?

    Mbuso:
    “And,Idoubty
    ouruncl
    eknowsanyt
    hingaboutpregnancyf
    oodcr
    avi
    ngs.Hewi
    l
    l
    pr
    obabl
    ytel
    lyoutodownitwit
    hsugarwat
    erorsomething.
    ”

    Heexpressesasheseesmygl
    oomymoodt
    akeov
    ermybody
    ,I’
    m abl
    etol
    etoutal
    aughi
    nthe
    midstofi
    t.

    Mbuso:“IwantyoutobefreeLel
    oandtr
    ynott
    ost
    resst
    oomuch,
    youhav
    esomeonet
    othi
    nk
    aboutnow.It
    ’snotj
    ustyouanymore.
    ”

    He’
    sri
    ght
    ,Iwoul
    dhat
    etol
    osemybaby
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowhowt
    othanky
    ouMbuso,
    honest
    ly,
    Ihav
    enowor
    ds.
    ”
    Mbuso:
    “Justt
    ryt
    obehappy
    ,thatwi
    l
    lbeenoughf
    orme.
    ”

    Hedecl
    ares.

    Mbuso:“Okay.So,t
    her
    e’st
    wobedroomsinthi
    sflat.Unf
    ort
    unat
    elywewil
    lhavetoshar
    ea
    bat
    hroom.I’
    ll
    t r
    ytobeascleanasIcansi
    nce,
    there’sal
    adynowinthehouse.
    ”

    Hear
    ti
    cul
    ateswhent
    hemomentt
    urnst
    heawkwar
    ddi
    rect
    ion.

    Mbuso:“Yousawthekit
    chenri
    ght
    ?Iusuall
    ydogrocer
    iesonceaweek.Thef
    ri
    dgeiskindof
    emptyr
    ightnowbut,t
    here’
    slef
    toverpi
    zzafr
    om l
    astni
    ghtwhich,
    Ial
    sohad…for…breakfast
    .”

    Hesendshi
    shandbehi
    ndhi
    sneckandr
    ubsi
    t,asi
    fashamedofhi
    sconf
    essi
    on.

    Ir
    espondwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    ltr
    ynott
    oli
    vel
    i
    keat
    rol
    l
    .”

    Hemakesagoof
    yfaceasheassur
    esme,
    itt
    ickl
    esmyl
    aughbone.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou,
    I’
    ll
    dot
    hewashi
    ngandcl
    eani
    ngsi
    nce,
    Ican’
    tpayy
    our
    ightnow.
    ”

    Mbuso:“
    Then,
    I’
    llbei
    nsul
    tedi
    fyoudothat
    .Iwanty
    outobemyroommat
    e, notmyhousehel
    p.
    Ther
    eissomeonewhocomest ocl
    eantwi
    ceaweek,y
    ourj
    obherei
    stor
    elaxandtakecar
    eof
    l
    it
    tl
    eGokuther
    e.”

    Ohhel
    lno!
    !!

    Me:
    “Ir
    ebuket
    hat
    .”

    Hel
    aughsoutl
    oud.

    Mbuso:
    “Why
    ?It
    ’sani
    cenamef
    orababy
    .”

    Me:“
    No,youcan’
    tcal
    lhi
    mthat
    .ThesenamesgrowandIwil
    lnothav
    emybabynamedaf
    ter
    somecr
    azyanimaefar
    mer,
    whofi
    ghtsvil
    l
    ainsf
    oral
    ivi
    ng.
    ”

    Hest
    aresamusedl
    yatme,
    bef
    orebr
    eaki
    ngi
    ntol
    aught
    er.

    Mbuso:
    “Iseey
    ou’
    rei
    nfor
    med.
    ”

    Hest
    ateswhi
    l
    ehi
    smout
    hhol
    dsachuckl
    e.

    Me:
    “YesandIst
    andagai
    nsti
    t.
    ”

    Her
    oll
    sint
    oanot
    herpat
    hofl
    aught
    er.

    Mbuso:
    “Youwi
    l
    lfi
    ndi
    tcut
    eoneday
    ,wheny
    ou’
    rehol
    dinghi
    miny
    ourar
    ms.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ist
    hisy
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    oconv
    incemet
    oconsi
    dert
    hisname?
    ”

    Henods,
    gleami
    ngatmeandIshakemyhead.

    Hi
    sphoner
    ings,
    taki
    ngusawayf
    rom t
    hispendantdebat
    eandhi
    sfacehaschanged.That
    f
    ri
    endl
    ysmi
    leisgonewit
    hthewi
    nd,
    he’sholdi
    ngaf r
    ownandfur
    rowedbrows.
    Hegest
    urest
    obeexcusedasheget
    supandst
    andsaf
    ewf
    eetawayf
    rom me.

    Mbuso:
    “St
    yles?*
    **What
    ?**
    *I’
    m onmyway
    .”

    Hedropsthecal
    lasheturnst
    ome.I’
    mtempt
    edt
    oaski
    fev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    sokay
    ,ashi
    stonegi
    vesan
    al
    armingmessage.But
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    opr
    y.

    Mbuso: “Ihav
    etogo, y
    ourbedr oom istheoneontheright.Ever
    y thi
    ngyouwill
    needisthere
    exceptforatoothbr
    usht hough,I
    ’l
    lpassbythegarageandgety ouone.I’
    m sureyouwon’tmiss
    thebathroom.It
    ’sonthef arendcornerri
    ghtaf
    teryourroom.I ’
    l
    l grabsometakeoutsonmyway
    back,i
    nt hemeantime,youcanf eastonthatl
    eftoverpizza.
    ”

    Hi
    sfacesay
    she’
    snotsur
    eaboutt
    hest
    alepi
    zza.

    Hemakesaf
    ace,
    hav
    ingmel
    aughwi
    thdel
    i
    ght
    .

    Me:
    “May
    benot
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “Yeah,
    hey
    .”

    Hi
    shandf
    li
    est
    othebackofhi
    sneckagai
    n,r
    ubbi
    ngi
    tti
    midl
    y.

    Mbuso:
    “Ther
    e’scer
    eal
    andmi
    l
    k.”

    Heel
    ect
    s.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notr
    eal
    l
    yhungr
    y,I
    ’
    llwai
    tfory
    ou.
    ”

    Il
    i
    e,myst
    omachi
    sgr
    umbl
    i
    ng.Ihav
    en’
    thadany
    thi
    ngt
    oeatsi
    nceIt
    hrewupt
    hismor
    ning.

    Mbuso:
    “Hey
    ,li
    keIsai
    d.Makey
    our
    sel
    fathome.
    ”

    Hel
    eav
    esmewi
    tht
    hat
    ,Iguessmyl
    uckhasn’
    trunouty
    et.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    35*

    STYLES*

    Mbusoslogsinthebedr
    oom l
    ooki
    ngf
    lushedandf
    lust
    ered,
    hisey
    esar
    etear
    yandr
    edandhi
    s
    cl
    othesaresoggy.

    Hef
    li
    ngshi
    shand,
    sendi
    ngi
    tagai
    nstt
    hewal
    lashet
    ri
    est
    ogai
    nbal
    ance.

    Me:
    “Whathappenedt
    oyou?
    ”

    Hegl
    aresatme,
    eyeswi
    deopen.

    Mbuso:
    “Whathappenedt
    ome?Whathappenedoutt
    her
    e?”

    Oh,
    Isee.

    Me:
    “Youwer
    enotsupposedt
    oseet
    hat
    ,It
    oldt
    hoseboy
    stocl
    eanupf
    ast
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “St
    yles,
    ther
    e’samassacr
    eoutt
    her
    e.”

    Me:
    “We’
    l
    ltal
    kaboutt
    hatl
    ater
    ,Randal
    lneedsy
    ourhel
    p.”

    Hef
    rownsatme,
    itl
    ookasi
    fhe’
    sgoi
    ngt
    othr
    owup.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lMbuso?
    ”

    Hewelcomesasourface,
    heav
    esaf
    ewt
    imesbef
    orer
    unni
    ngt
    othebat
    hroom.Iheart
    hesound
    ofr
    etchi
    ngaboutt
    hreeti
    mes.

    It
    houghtt
    hisguyi
    sadoct
    or.

    Thedoorf
    li
    esopenandhest
    epsout,
    hisfacei
    spal
    eanddri
    ppingsweatandt
    ear
    s.Hesni
    ff
    sa
    fewt
    imes,swi
    peshi
    snosewit
    hhisbackhand,
    whil
    ewal
    kingtowardst
    hebed.

    Il
    eeratRandal
    l,
    unconsci
    ous.Howi
    sMbusogoi
    ngt
    ohel
    phi
    m,whenhei
    sli
    ket
    his?May
    be
    cal
    li
    nghim wasabadidea.

    Me:“Ar
    ey ounotadoct
    orman?Don’
    tyouseedeadbodi
    esev
    eryday
    ?Youshoul
    dbeusedt
    oit
    bynow.”

    Her
    oll
    shi
    sey
    esandi
    gnor
    esme.

    Okay
    …

    He’
    sabi
    tsensi
    ti
    ver
    ightnowso,
    Ideci
    det
    olethi
    m be.

    Mbuso:
    “It
    houghty
    ouguy
    swer
    edonewi
    tht
    hatl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Heexpr
    esseswhathi
    sfr
    ail
    mindi
    scl
    ear
    lyent
    ert
    aini
    ng,
    ashei
    nspect
    sRandal
    l
    ’swounds.Thi
    sis
    abadti
    met obej
    udgi
    ngus.
    Me:“Nah,
    notreal
    ly.I
    t’
    stoomuchf unt
    hatwet
    hrewapar
    ty,
    justsowecoul
    dki
    l
    lev
    ery
    one.I
    ’
    m
    sor
    ryyoudidn’
    tgetaninvi
    tat
    ion.
    ”

    Nx!

    Hegr
    imaces,
    shoot
    ingmeadi
    sgust
    edl
    ook.

    Mbuso:
    “Hahaha,
    funny
    .”

    Ther
    egoeshi
    sey
    esagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Ist
    her
    esomet
    hingy
    ouwoul
    dli
    ket
    otel
    lme,
    Mbuso?
    ”

    Hi
    sat
    ti
    tudei
    sget
    ti
    ngt
    omenow,
    hel
    ooksatmeandcl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “No…no.
    ”

    Hest
    umer
    sandshr
    ugshi
    sshoul
    der
    s.

    Me:“Doyoureal
    l
    yt hinkRandal
    l woul
    dputhi
    schi
    l
    d’sl
    i
    featst
    ake?Anyonecanseet
    hatthey
    wereambushed,Idon’tunder
    standhowyoucanbeadoct
    orandsti
    l
    lbestupi
    d.Nowplease,
    hel
    phim.Hehasl ostalotofblood.
    ”

    Mbuso:“Well
    ,Idon’tunder
    standhowyouandRandal ltakejoyini
    nsul
    ti
    ngpeopl
    e,youseem t
    o
    hav
    eaj oyr
    ideasf arasmycar eeri
    sconcerned.Iam notsorr
    ythatIt
    ookadif
    fer
    entpathi
    nlif
    e,
    whi
    leyoutwower eheadedt heopposi
    tedir
    ection.
    ”

    Whatt
    hehel
    ldi
    dhej
    ustsay
    ?

    Me:“
    Fucky
    ouMbuso,t
    hisisnoti
    metobewear
    ingyourMr
    .Per
    fectcoat
    .Youdon’
    twantt
    o
    makememadman,shutthehel
    lupanddoy
    ourjob.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Youneedt
    ost
    epout
    .”

    Me:
    “Why
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “BecauseIcan’
    twor
    kwhi
    l
    eyou’
    reher
    e.”

    Me: “Yeah,I’
    veheardthatl
    i
    nebef or
    e.Youdoctorsactli
    keyouhavesomekindofsuperpower
    thatshouldn’tbeexposedtothehumaneye.Don’twor r
    y,Iwon’
    tsteal
    yourgi
    ft
    ,I’
    l
    ljustst
    and
    there.Youpr et
    endthatIam nother
    eandgof ull
    force.WhatIam notgoi
    ngtodoisleavemy
    brotheralone.”

    Mbuso:
    “Youknowy
    oursenseofhumouri
    scol
    danddr
    y.”

    Heshakeshi
    shead,t
    hesceneout
    sidemusthav
    egott
    ohi
    m pr
    ett
    ybad.Idon’
    tcar
    eany
    way
    ,I
    needRandal
    ltor
    ecov
    er.

    Me:“Whatwi
    l
    lbecol
    danddr
    yisy
    ourdeadbody
    ,ifRandal
    ldi
    es.Hebet
    termakei
    tMbuso,
    Iam
    notpl
    ayi
    ngwit
    hyou.
    ”

    Hehuf
    fs.

    Mbuso:
    “Iknowmyj
    obt
    hanky
    ou.
    ”
    Me:
    “Hence,
    you’
    reher
    e.”

    Ir
    etor
    tcol
    dly
    .

    Mbusoisaf r
    iendbut,wearenott
    hatcl
    ose.Reasonbei
    ng,het
    hinkshe’sper
    fect.Randal
    landI
    arecr
    iminal
    sasf arashe’
    sconcer
    ned,hewasprivi
    l
    egedtohav
    eev er
    ythingwhil
    esomeofus
    hadtohustl
    et ogettowhereweare.

    Mbuso:
    “Iwi
    l
    lneedanI
    Vdr
    ip,
    anoxy
    genmaskand…”

    Me:
    “Thosear
    ebei
    ngdel
    i
    ver
    edaswespeakanddon’
    taskmehow.
    ”

    Heshoot
    smeaj
    udgement
    algl
    are,
    Idi
    dsayt
    hat
    ,het
    hinkshewal
    ksonwat
    er.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    ngi
    yakucel
    atuu,
    hambauy
    ofunauMoses.
    ”(Pl
    ease,
    gol
    ookf
    orMoses.
    )

    Thi
    sismyt hi
    rdpleaandIthinkIhaveannoyedhim enough.Moses’phoneisonvoi
    cemai
    l
    .
    WhenIcall
    edhim atfi
    rst
    ,awomananswer ed.It
    ri
    edagainthinki
    ngIhaddiall
    edt
    hewrong
    numberanditsentmestraightt
    ov oi
    cemai l
    .

    Mhambi
    ref
    usest
    ogol
    ookf
    orhi
    m,Iknowhemi
    ghtbear
    ound.Somet
    hingi
    snotr
    ight
    ,Icanf
    eel
    i
    t.

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    khul
    uma.
    ”(Saysomet
    hing.
    )

    Heisnotacknowledgingmer ightnow,
    hiseyesaregl
    uedtot
    heTVscreenandIam sit
    ti
    ng
    opposi
    tehim andPetunia.Theyseem t
    obeenj oy
    ingt
    heshowthat
    ’spl
    ayi
    ng,becauset
    heyar
    e
    notbot
    heredaboutmyhusband’ swher
    eabouts.

    Petuni
    a:“Hayi
    Ntombi
    .Isi
    cefengesani
    ?UtheuMoses, hewantst
    obr
    eat
    he.So,
    whydoy
    ouwant
    tobotherhi
    m?”(Whyar
    ey oubeinganuisance?Mosessai
    d.)

    Iwi
    ll
    swi
    tchofft
    hebl
    oodyTVi fshecont
    inuestospeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    his.Thi
    sst
    upi
    dshowt
    hey
    ar
    eengr
    ossedonist
    hereasonMhambi won’tgetup.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Andt
    hen?
    ”

    SheasksasIst
    andi
    nfr
    ontoft
    heTV.

    Me:“Myhusbandisoutt
    hereandIdon’tknowifhei
    sal
    i
    veornotandni
    naar
    esi
    tt
    ingonhi
    s
    sof
    a,wat
    chinghisTVasifever
    ythi
    ngisokay.
    ”(You.
    )

    Myangerisevi
    dent
    ,Iwi
    llnott
    oler
    atet
    hisi
    nmyhouse.Pet
    uni
    alaughsoutl
    oudwhi
    l
    ecl
    appi
    ng
    herhands,
    herf
    acesuddenlyt
    urnscol
    d.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Bakul
    oyi
    l
    ewenaNt
    ombi
    .”(
    Youar
    ebewi
    tched.
    )

    Shepr
    edi
    cts.
    Mhambi
    giv
    esmeadi
    sappoi
    ntedl
    ookandshakeshi
    shead.

    Me:
    “Aski
    es?
    ”(Excuseme?
    )

    Petunia:“
    Aski
    esyokunuka.You’
    rehereworr
    iedsi
    ckaboutt
    hatself
    ishhear
    tl
    essman,
    whi
    l
    eyou
    don’tevenknowwhereyourchi
    ldis.Youhav
    eabigprobl
    em si
    si.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    ?Ar
    eyoul
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ohowshe’
    stal
    ki
    ngt
    ome?
    ”

    Mhambi :
    “Manj
    emi nangenzeni
    Ntombi
    ?Petuni
    aisonlystat
    ingthetrut
    h,Idon’tunder
    stand
    howy oucanworr
    yaboutMoseswhenLeloandAmar aaremi ssi
    ng.Notoncehav eIseeny ou
    cryovert
    hosegi
    rl
    s,Moseshasbeengoneforonl
    yafewhour sandy ouwantt ofli
    peveryrockin
    thi
    stown.”(
    Whatdoy ouwantmetodo?)

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    you’
    real
    soj
    udgi
    ngme,
    yoursi
    ster
    ?”

    Mhambi:“Of
    fenseist
    akenNtombinotgi
    ven,
    deepdownyouknowwhatyou’
    redoi
    ngi
    swr
    ong
    andnot
    hingwillev
    ergori
    ghti
    nthi
    shouseaslongasyouf
    oll
    owMoses.”

    Me:
    “UMosesungumy
    eni
    wam’
    ,Ihav
    etoabi
    debyhi
    srul
    es.
    ”(He’
    smyhusband.
    )

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hehehe!
    !!At
    hiabi
    debyhi
    srul
    es.
    ”

    Shecackl
    esassheget
    sup.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Wena,
    awuy
    azi
    impi
    l
    o.OnedayNt
    ombi
    ,oneday
    .”(
    Youwi
    l
    lregr
    ett
    hisNt
    ombi
    .)

    Iwi
    l
    ltaket
    hat
    ,asat
    hreat
    .

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Sal
    anal
    eTVy
    akho.Nx!
    ”(Youcanst
    ayher
    ewi
    thy
    ourTV.
    )

    Shecl
    i
    ckshert
    ongueandl
    eav
    es,
    Mhambi
    fol
    l
    owsher
    .If
    eel
    li
    keani
    diotr
    ightnow.

    MOSES*

    Myv isi
    onwasv aguebut,
    ifIr
    emembercor rectl
    y,t
    her
    ewasasi gnthatsaidJohannesbur
    g.I
    thoughtwewer eheadedther
    e,It
    houghtMkhi zewastaki
    ngmet otherankwher ehewill
    tort
    ure
    mebef oreki
    ll
    ingme.But,weareinWinchesternow.I
    ’m bei
    ngdraggedinsideahousebyt wo
    guards,ever
    ythi
    nginmybodyi st
    hrobbi
    ngandIknowI ’
    m atdeat
    h’sdoor.

    Theguar
    dsreckl
    essl
    yletmegoandmybodyt umblesri
    ghtinfrontofMkhi
    ze’sf
    eet
    ,he’
    ssitt
    ing
    onachai
    rinanoffi
    ceroom.Hi
    slegiscrossedovertheotherandhe’shol
    dingawal
    kingcane.
    I
    ’m onmyknees,l
    ooki
    ngupathim.Str
    angehowheal waysbri
    ngsmet omyknees.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “I’
    m sur
    eyou’
    reaski
    ngy
    our
    sel
    fwhaty
    ou’
    redoi
    ngher
    e.”

    Hehol
    dst
    hispr
    oudl
    ookonhi
    sfacel
    i
    ke,
    hei
    saboutt
    oannouncesomet
    hingbi
    g.

    I
    ’
    m notaboutt
    otal
    kbecauseoft
    het
    hrashi
    ngIr
    ecei
    vedbackatt
    het
    aver
    n.”
    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Wel
    l
    ,Moses.Ihav
    efi
    nal
    l
    ytakenwhatbel
    ongst
    ome.
    ”

    Ican’
    tgr
    aspwhathe’
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Consi
    dert
    hisasaspeci
    ali
    nvi
    tat
    iont
    otheMkhi
    zeweddi
    ng.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es,
    scor
    nful
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “Aweddi
    ng?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m conf
    used.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Yes.I
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    edandguesswhot
    hebr
    idei
    s.”

    Hel
    aughs,
    Ithi
    nkheenj
    oyst
    hesoundofhi
    slaugh.

    Me:
    “DoIknowher
    ?”

    Mkhize:“Ar
    ghs’dudla.Forsomeonewhowassmar tenought
    oattai
    nhimsel
    fami l
    l
    ionrand,you
    cannotbeaskingthatstupi
    dquestion.I
    t’
    syourni
    ece,rememberher
    ?Theoney ousol
    dt othose
    boys,If
    inal
    lygotherback.You’
    reluckywenja,
    youknowIhadabul l
    etwit
    hyournameoni t.
    ”
    (Bast
    ard.)

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evewhathe’
    stel
    l
    ingme.Howdi
    dhemanaget
    otakeAmar
    afr
    om t
    hosemen?

    Me:
    “Wher
    eisshe?Wher
    eisAmar
    a?”

    Iwantt
    oseef
    ormy
    sel
    f.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “WhyMoses?Youwantt
    olustaf
    terheragai
    n?”

    Heget
    supasheasksmet
    his,
    myey
    eswi
    den.Whywoul
    dheaskmesuchaquest
    ion?

    Mkhize:“
    Oh,don’
    tlooksur
    pri
    seds’
    dudl
    a.Iknowwhaty
    ouhav
    ebeendoi
    ngt
    oherandy
    ouar
    e
    goi
    ngt opayfori
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    ze,
    ngi
    yakucel
    a.I
    ’
    m sor
    ry,
    Idon’
    tknowwhatgoti
    ntome.
    ”(Pl
    ease.
    )

    Mkhi
    ze:“Youdon’
    tknowwhatgoti
    ntoy
    ou?Youdar
    edt
    olayy
    ourf
    il
    thyhandsonmypr
    oper
    ty
    Moses.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es,
    col
    dly
    .

    Me:“
    I’
    m sorryMkhi
    ze,khabazel
    a.Youhav
    eAmar
    anowandhowwi
    l
    lshef
    eel
    whenshef
    indsout
    t
    hatherhusbandki
    l
    ledheruncle.
    ”

    Hest
    ri
    kesmeont
    heheadwi
    thhi
    scane,
    itsendsmecr
    ashi
    ngonmysi
    de.

    Mkhi
    ze:“
    Don’ttal
    kshi
    tmgodoyi
    .Youarel
    uckyt
    hatIam gi
    vi
    ngy
    ouaf
    ewday
    stol
    i
    ve,
    youwi
    l
    l
    payf
    orbetr
    ayingmeMoses.
    ”(Bast
    ard.
    )

    Hegestur
    esthetwomentohel
    pmeup,
    theydoascommanded,
    placi
    ngmebackonmyknees.
    Hesquatsbef
    oreme,gr
    absmebyt
    hecoll
    arofmyshi
    rt
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Thi
    siswhati
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oacceptmoneyf
    ori
    l
    obol
    a.Then,
    you
    ar
    egoingt
    owal
    kAmar adowntheai
    sl
    ebeforewalki
    ngt
    oy ourdeat
    h.Yourl
    i
    fei
    sint
    hepal
    m of
    myhandsnowMosesandther
    eisnot
    hingyoucandoaboutit
    .”

    Hiswordssendchi
    l
    lsdownmyspi
    ne,
    Ihadmadeadeal
    wit
    hthedev
    ilandnowhehascomet
    o
    col
    lect
    .

    Me: “
    Itdoesn’
    thav
    etocometothi
    sMkhize.Look,
    Iknowt
    hatAmar
    awi
    l
    lnev
    eragr
    eet
    omar
    ry
    you.HowaboutIconvi
    nceheri
    nexchangeformyli
    fe?
    ”

    Hel
    aughsashest
    andsup.

    Mkhize:
    “Thatgir
    lhasnochoi
    cenow,shewil
    lmarr
    ymewhet hershewantstoornot.Youarei
    n
    noposit
    iontolaydowndemandss’
    dudla,
    I’
    minchargeher
    e.Youwill
    stayhereunt
    ilthedayof
    thewedding.
    ”

    Me:
    “Butmywi
    fe,
    she’
    l
    lbewor
    ri
    edMkhi
    zengi
    yakucel
    a.”(
    Please.
    )

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Whoi
    sreal
    l
    ythewi
    fei
    nthathouse?Youorher
    ?Becausey
    ousoundl
    i
    keawomanr
    ight
    now.
    ”

    Hei
    nsul
    tsmeandt
    her
    eisnot
    hingIcandoabouti
    t,Iam power
    lessagai
    nstt
    hisman.

    Mkhize:
    “Don’
    tworry
    ,theywon’
    tmi
    ssy
    ouandwhatwi
    l
    lbet
    hepoi
    ntofgoi
    ngbackhomei
    fyou
    wi
    llbedeadinthr
    eedays.”

    Me:
    “Thr
    eeday
    s?”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Yes,
    theweddi
    ngi
    sint
    hreeday
    s.”

    Oneofhi
    smenscur
    ri
    esi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    hehol
    dsani
    mper
    ati
    vel
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Kwenzenj
    ani
    ?”(
    Whathappened?
    )

    Hi
    m:“
    Ther
    e’sbeenanacci
    dentboss.
    ”

    STYLES*

    Khet
    hu:
    “Baby
    ,Nkomoi
    sher
    etoseey
    ou.
    ”

    Sheannouncesasshehur
    ri
    esi
    ntot
    hebedr
    oom.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Howi
    she?
    ”

    Sheinqui
    reswhi
    lelooki
    ngatRandal
    l,hehasn’
    tbl
    i
    nkedorshownanysignsthathe’
    scl
    ose.Ihat
    e
    seei
    nghiml i
    ket
    his,Mkhi
    zehasigni
    tedafir
    ehewon’tbeabl
    etoext
    inguish.

    Mbuso:
    “Hewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”

    Me:
    “Howi
    sLi
    ya?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “She’
    ssl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thChi
    oma,
    shewant
    edt
    oseeherf
    athert
    hough.
    ”
    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,hei
    sherf
    ather
    .”

    Ican’
    timagi
    nehowshemustbef
    eel
    i
    ng.

    Khet
    hu:
    “It
    hinkweshoul
    dcal
    lOl
    i
    viat
    ocomeandgether
    .”

    Me:
    “Nothappeni
    ng.
    ”

    Khethu:
    “Sheneedshermot
    herSty
    les,
    Randal
    lisi
    nabadstat
    eri
    ghtnowandLi
    yanawi
    l
    lwake
    uptomorrowmorning,
    want
    ingt
    oseehi m.Whatwi
    ll
    yousayt
    oher?”

    I
    tmakessensebut
    ,Iam notl
    ett
    ingt
    hatwomanany
    wher
    enearLi
    yana.

    Me:
    “Li
    yai
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    eKhet
    hu,
    shei
    sst
    ayi
    ngher
    e,wher
    eherf
    atheri
    s.”

    Idecr
    eef
    ir
    mly
    ,st
    arr
    ingatRandal
    l
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwasj
    ustgi
    vi
    ngasuggest
    ionSt
    yles.
    ”

    It
    urnbackt
    oKhet
    hu,
    alr
    eadygr
    ouchi
    ng.Hert
    ear
    yey
    esgl
    ari
    ngatme.Idon’
    thav
    eti
    mef
    ort
    his.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Isher
    eal
    l
    ygoi
    ngt
    obeokayMbuso?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Hel
    ostal
    otofbl
    oodbut
    ,hewi
    l
    lpul
    lthr
    ough.He’
    saf
    ight
    er.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es.It
    houghthehat
    edus.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Thati
    sar
    eli
    ef.
    ”

    Shest
    ateswhi
    l
    eleer
    ingatme.Thelookonherf
    acesay
    s,sheknowsIwi
    l
    lnev
    erbet
    hesamei
    f
    somet
    hingwer
    etohappentoRandall
    .

    Me:
    “Excuseme.
    ”

    Iambl
    eout
    ,leav
    ingt
    hem gl
    anci
    ngatRandal
    l
    ,asi
    fwai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    mtoopenhi
    sey
    es.

    Therewasnootheropti
    onbuttocall
    Nkomoov er
    ,Randal
    lwouldhav
    evotedagai
    nsti
    t.My
    handsaret
    iedatthi
    spointandwecanuseall
    thehelpwecanget.Mkhi
    zetookAmarawit
    hthe
    i
    ntentt
    hathewil
    lnotloseheragai
    n,i
    tmeanstheywil
    lbewatchi
    ngusli
    kehawks.

    If
    indNkomoi
    nthel
    ounge,
    he’
    ssi
    tt
    ingonacouchandhasadr
    inki
    nhi
    shand.

    Hej
    erksupasheseesmeappr
    oachi
    ng.

    Nkomo:
    “Whyam Iher
    e?”

    Hei
    snotwast
    ingt
    ime.

    I
    mpr
    essi
    ve.

    Me:
    “Rel
    ax,
    Randal
    li
    sinj
    uredandhedoesn’
    tknowt
    haty
    ou’
    reher
    e.”

    Iseehi
    sbodyeaseabi
    t,asher
    eleasesasi
    l
    entsi
    ghofr
    eli
    ef.

    Nkomo:
    “Whathappened?
    ”
    Me:
    “Hewasambushed,
    byMkhi
    ze’
    smen.Theyt
    ookAmar
    aandl
    eftRandal
    ltodi
    e.”

    Nkomo:
    “Okaybut
    ,whyam Iher
    e?”

    Me:“Youowehim NkomoandIam col


    l
    ect
    ingonhi
    sbehal
    f.Iknowhewoul
    dn’
    tli
    ket
    hisbut
    ,we
    needyourhel
    p.”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Nkomo:“
    Nowondert
    hest
    orm out
    side,
    thegr
    eatSt
    ylesSi
    shi
    hasbeenhumbl
    ed.Younev
    erask
    f
    orhel
    p.”

    Iwoul
    dlaughi
    fitwer
    efunnybut
    ,Iam i
    nnomoodf
    orj
    okes.

    Me:“
    Mybrotheri
    sly
    ingupst
    air
    s,wounded.I
    fIhadnotgot
    tenthemessagehesentme,he
    woul
    dhavebledt
    odeath.Doyouknowhowmucht hataggrav
    atesme?Ican’
    tthi
    nkofanyt
    hing
    el
    sebutt
    oseeMkhizebegformercywhil
    eItor
    tur
    ehim.”

    Thebast
    arddi
    dn’
    tlear
    nhi
    slessont
    hel
    astt
    ime.

    Nkomo:
    “But
    ,Randal
    lhat
    esme,
    hewi
    l
    lnev
    eracceptmyhel
    p.”

    Me:
    “Her
    eal
    l
    ydoesn’
    thav
    eanopt
    ionnow.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Whatdoy
    ouneedmet
    odo?
    ”

    Me:“Fi
    rst
    ,Iwanty
    outoassur
    emet hatyouareint
    hisahundr
    edper
    cent
    ,ther
    eisnot
    urni
    ng
    backaf
    terthi
    sNkomoandifyoubet
    rayus,Iwil
    lki
    l
    lyou.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tdr
    eam ofi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youhav
    eahi
    stor
    yofy
    ourwor
    dsnotmat
    chi
    ngy
    ouract
    ions.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Iwantt
    ohel
    pSt
    yles,
    may
    bet
    hiswi
    l
    lhel
    pgetbackmyf
    ri
    endshi
    pwi
    thRandy
    .”

    Me:
    “Ihi
    ghl
    ydoubtbut
    ,ift
    hatmot
    ivat
    esy
    ou,
    gowi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    Hef
    rownsatme.

    Me:“
    Iwil
    lfi
    l
    lyouupont
    hepl
    anonceRandal
    lregai
    nsconsci
    ousness,
    itwon’
    tbehar
    dtof
    ind
    t
    hem.”

    Nkomo:
    “Theyar
    einPr
    etor
    ia,
    obv
    ious.
    ”

    Me:“
    It
    ’sagoodt
    hingy ou’
    renotasol
    dier
    ,youwouldn’
    thav
    emadei
    t.Ineedy
    ouputy
    ou’
    reA
    gameonNkomo,pleaseusethatbr
    ainofyour
    s.”

    Nkomo:
    “Di
    shi
    ngouti
    nsul
    tsIsee.
    ”

    TodayIam sur
    roundedbysensi
    ti
    vepeopl
    e.

    Me:“
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngtobenur
    singany
    one,
    thi
    siswarandIneedwokepeopl
    ebymysi
    de.Mkhi
    ze
    i
    snotstupi
    denought
    otakeAmaratohi
    shouse.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Okay
    .But
    ,howdoy
    ouknowwher
    etheyar
    e?”
    Me:
    “Youwi
    l
    lonl
    yknowwhatIf
    eel
    youshoul
    dknow.
    ”

    Iam nott
    aki
    nganyr
    isks.

    Nkomo:
    “Wher
    eist
    het
    rust
    ?”

    Me:“Idon’
    ttr
    ustyouNkomo.Fi
    rst
    lybecauseyoubetray
    edRandall
    wit
    houtthi
    nkingtwi
    ceabout
    i
    t,y
    ou’reasnake.Ser
    vant
    sdonotdinewithr
    oyal
    ty.Secondl
    y,t
    hatmonkey
    ’sbloodrunsi
    nyour
    vei
    ns.”

    It
    ouchedaner
    vet
    her
    e,hel
    ooksl
    i
    kehei
    saboutt
    oexpl
    ode.

    Nkomo:
    “Iam nothi
    m.”

    Me:“Rel
    axspot
    .Iknowbut,
    Iam yett
    oseeadr
    opofkindnessi
    ntheMkhi
    zef
    ami
    l
    y.I
    ncl
    udi
    ng
    you,
    asyouhaveprovedt
    ousthatyouar
    enot
    hingbutshi
    t.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Doy
    ouandScarr
    eal
    i
    set
    hatar
    rogancei
    snotpower
    .”

    Hegr
    owl
    s,Ican’
    tgr
    asphi
    ssuddenanger
    .Thet
    rut
    hisonepai
    nful
    bast
    ard.

    Me:“
    Ohsucki
    tup,
    thi
    sisnotadaycar
    e.I
    fyou’
    regoi
    ngt
    obesensi
    ti
    veal
    lthet
    ime,
    thent
    akea
    hi
    ke.
    ”

    Idecl
    areasIt
    oil
    tot
    hebarar
    ea,
    Ineedast
    if
    fdr
    ink.Thi
    sfool
    isget
    ti
    ngonmyner
    ves.

    Nkomo:
    “Wow.
    ”

    Real
    l
    y?

    Ichosetopr
    etendhedi
    dnotsaythat
    .It
    urnt
    ohim scowl
    i
    ngatme,
    he’
    spl
    acedhi
    msel
    font
    he
    arm oft
    hecouch.Pr
    obabl
    ydr
    ainedbymyhonest
    y.

    Me:“Byt
    heway
    ,youwi
    l
    lbeanorphanaf
    teral
    lthi
    s,becauseIam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyourf
    atherand
    any
    onewhoget
    sinmyway.Mkhi
    zeisgoi
    ngtopay .
    ”

    Hegul
    psandshi
    ft
    suncomf
    ort
    abl
    yonhi
    sseat
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    36*

    KHETHU*

    Styl
    esseemsdif
    fer
    entsincewegottoRandal
    l’
    shouse,Idon’tknowhi
    mt obeliket
    his.He
    snapsatmeateverychancehegets,hei
    ssomewhataloof.IknowheregardsRandallashi
    s
    brot
    herbut
    ,heshouldthi
    nkabouthimsel
    faswell
    .Ihopehedoesn’tcl
    oseoffcompletely
    becauseIf
    eelhi
    m dri
    ft
    ingawayfrom meever
    ysecondhesi t
    sonRandall’
    sbedside.

    Ihadtocookforever
    yoneinthehouse,Nkomowil
    lbestayi
    nghereti
    l
    lRandal
    lregains
    consci
    ousnessanddecidesi
    fhewantshim her
    e.Mbusoisalsost
    ayi
    ngtheni
    ght ,
    hedidn’
    twant
    toandStyl
    esbeingStyl
    esfor
    cedhim andhehadnochoicebuttoagr
    ee.

    Thi
    smanandget ti
    nghi
    sway,Iwonderwhypeopletrembl
    eatt
    hesightofhi
    m.Ionlyhopehei
    s
    notbacktohi
    soldways,
    Ilov
    ehim but
    ,IdoubtIwil
    lbeabl
    etostaywit
    hhim.Ir
    efuset
    oliv
    emy
    l
    if
    einfearofwhati
    f.

    Hesti
    l
    lhasn’texpl
    ainedthebl
    ood-
    bat
    hwef oundout
    side.Iwi
    l
    lhavetof
    orcei
    toutofhi
    m,whi
    ch
    wi
    ll
    beat askbecauseitseemsli
    kehedoesn’
    twantanyonenearhi
    m.

    Ifi
    ndStyl
    esi
    nRandal
    l’
    sbedr
    oom,
    he’
    ssi
    tt
    ingathi
    sbedsi
    deandhasaknotonhi
    sfor
    ehead,
    as
    he’
    slosti
    ndeept
    hought.

    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    Isnaphi
    m backt
    oreal
    i
    ty,
    hebl
    i
    nksonceandf
    lashesaf
    eignsmi
    l
    eashel
    ooksatme.

    Me:
    “Her
    e,y
    ouneedt
    oeat
    .”

    Ihandhi
    m apl
    ateofwar
    mfood,
    heogl
    esati
    tandshakeshi
    shead.

    Me:
    “Youneedt
    oeat
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Ihav
    emuchmor
    epr
    essi
    ngt
    hingst
    owor
    ryaboutt
    hanf
    il
    li
    ngmyst
    omach.
    ”

    Me:“Ther
    eisnot
    hingwecandof
    orRandal
    lri
    ghtnow,
    exceptt
    owai
    tandy
    oushoul
    deati
    nthe
    meanti
    me.”

    Ipr
    ess.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m nothungr
    ybaby
    .”

    Hi
    sstubbornnessfr
    ustratesmesomet
    imes.Notwant
    ingt
    opushhi
    m anyf
    urt
    her
    ,Ipl
    acet
    he
    pl
    ateonthebedsidetable.

    Hesi ghsasIbrushhi
    sheadandsi tonhisl
    ap.Ienci
    rcl
    emyarmsaroundhisneckandpressmy
    foreheadagai
    nsthim.I
    ’m wait
    ingforhi
    mt ohol
    dmebackbut,nothi
    ng.I
    tsti
    ngsali
    ttl
    easthe
    reali
    zati
    onofwhatIwasaf r
    aidofhit
    smel i
    keasplashofwat
    er.He’
    sdri
    ft
    ingawayfrom meand
    Ineedt opul
    lhi
    m back.
    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    Iwhi
    sperwi
    thmyey
    escl
    osed,
    hei
    snotsay
    ingany
    thi
    ngandi
    thur
    tsev
    enmor
    e.

    Me:
    “Ineedy
    out
    obeokaySt
    yles,
    don’
    tdr
    if
    tint
    othatdar
    kpi
    t.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghsandIcanf
    eel
    hisbur
    denandhi
    spai
    n.

    Ipr
    essmyli
    psonhis,
    inashor
    tsweetki
    ssandonl
    ythen,doIfeel
    hisarmsenfoldaroundme.
    Heburi
    eshi
    sheadonmyneckandwedwellint
    hatpostur
    eforawhile,
    welcomingthesil
    ence.

    Irunmyhandonhi
    sheadandheshi
    ver
    s,t
    hisi
    smywayofcomf
    ort
    inghi
    m andassur
    inghi
    m
    thatIam her
    e.

    “
    Sty
    les.
    ”

    Wearebr
    oughtbackbyMbuso’
    svoi
    ce,
    hei
    sst
    andi
    ngatt
    hedoorwi
    thanawkwar
    dlookonhi
    s
    f
    ace.

    Mbuso:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    St
    ylesget
    sup,
    li
    ft
    ingmeupwi
    thhi
    m andgent
    lypl
    acesmenextt
    ohi
    m.

    St
    yle:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Helooksal
    armed,
    Idon’
    tknowwhyhe’
    sexpect
    ingbadnews.Mbusosai
    dRandal
    li
    sgoi
    ngt
    obe
    okay.

    Mbuso:
    “Neoi
    sher
    e,Icoul
    dn’
    tlethi
    m comet
    othebedr
    oom because…”

    Neo:
    “Aski
    esdokot
    ela.
    ”(Excusemedoct
    or.
    )

    Hedoesn’
    tfi
    nishspeaki
    ngbecauseNeopusheshi
    mtot
    hesi
    deashedashesi
    ntot
    her
    oom.

    Neo:“Unahanahorennaket l
    amamelawena.Lehor el
    ejoangl
    enabongaka.Di
    tismyOga
    hawu.Utl
    amonal editwangtwangtsahao.Yeykusemzansil
    a,youwi
    l
    ltwangtheremoCuba
    whereyoul
    earntt
    hisdoctor
    ism ofy
    oursnxa.
    ”

    (
    Doy out
    hinkIwi
    l
    lli
    stentoyou?What’
    swr ongwithyoudoctors?Thi
    sismyboss.Youthi
    nkyou
    wil
    lcomeherewi
    thyourhighcl
    assEngl
    ish,thi
    sisSouthAfr
    ica.Youwil
    lpr
    act
    icethi
    sEngl
    ishof
    your
    sinCubawhereyoustudi
    edtobeadoct or.
    )

    Ial
    mostf
    orgothe’
    saclown,Ican’
    thelpbutsmi
    l
    e.St
    ylesl
    ooksabi
    trel
    axednowwi
    thaghost
    ly
    smil
    eonhi
    sface.Mbusocli
    ckshistongue.

    Mbuso:
    “You’
    rest
    il
    lcr
    azyev
    ennowNeo?
    ”

    Neo:“
    Nyuar est
    il
    lnwazyNyeo,nxa.Waconti
    nualent
    wintwit
    sahao.Hait
    wana,udli
    si‘
    team.
    LookatSty
    loshere,
    he’swhi
    teandblackbutyoudon’
    thearhi
    m ar
    entwint
    wi.Hoetsahalangka
    uenamara?”

    (
    You’r
    esti
    l
    lcrazyNeo.Youconti
    nuespeaki
    ngt
    hatEngl
    i
    shofy
    our
    s.You’
    reembar
    rassi
    ngus
    man.What’
    swr ongwi
    thyou?)
    Mbuso:
    “Voet
    seksaani
    .”(
    Pissof
    fman.
    )

    Exci
    ted,
    Neojumpsup,
    jol
    tshi
    sfi
    stt
    owar
    dsMbusowhoj
    ustgl
    aresati
    twi
    thoutanypr
    omi
    sing
    movement.

    Neo:
    “Nouoabuasaan’,
    thi
    siswhatIwantt
    ohear.Bar
    engkasizul
    u,ei
    sh?Uhl
    ukanenobul
    ungu.
    ”
    (
    Yousee.
    )(Whatdotheysayi
    nIsi
    zul
    u?Stoptr
    yingt
    obewhit
    e.)

    Hej
    ustbut
    cher
    edmyl
    anguage.

    Mbuso:
    “Uy
    inj
    aboy
    .”(
    You’
    reabast
    ard.
    )

    Neo’
    ssmi
    l
    egr
    ows,
    heseemst
    obeenj
    oyi
    ngwhathe’
    shear
    ingf
    rom Mbuso.

    Neo“
    Sho,
    shont
    wana.Lewenauhond.
    ”(Yes,
    boy
    .You’
    reabast
    ardt
    oo.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “It
    houghty
    ouwoul
    dleav
    eyourcr
    azyper
    sonai
    nPr
    etor
    ia.
    ”

    Sty
    lessay
    sashesmi
    l
    esathi
    m,i
    tfeel
    sgoodt
    oseehi
    m smi
    l
    e.Hehasn’
    tdonet
    hatsi
    ncewegot
    here.

    Neo:“Persona?Sty
    los?Keot sepi
    lekakanaandwenauyang’phoxa,
    Ijustpr
    aisedyouinf
    rontof
    dokotel
    amo.Andwenauy ang’phikantwana.
    ”(It
    rust
    edyouStyl
    esandy oudisappoi
    ntme.
    )(I
    prai
    sedyoui nfr
    ontofthedoctorandyoudenyme. )

    St
    yles:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyout
    alki
    ngaboutnow?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Per
    sona?
    ”

    Hesay
    sitwi
    thanEngl
    i
    shaccent
    .

    Neo:
    “Wati
    sdi
    t?Oabona,y
    oumustst
    ophangi
    ngaroundwi
    ththi
    scheeseboy
    .Ot
    lal
    iupgr
    ader
    t
    omacoconut
    s.”(
    Whatist
    hat
    ?Hewil
    ltur
    nyouint
    oacoconut
    .)

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    recr
    azyt
    wana.
    ”

    Neo:
    “You’
    respeaki
    ngmyl
    anguagenowbecauseKeat
    sebat
    wana.
    ”(Iknowt
    hewor
    dtwana.
    )

    Cansomeonehav
    esomuchener
    gy?Hehasn’
    tnot
    icedmeunt
    ilnow,
    ashegoogl
    esatmewi
    tha
    si
    ll
    ysmil
    e.

    Neo:
    “Awui
    siphal
    aphal
    asent
    ombi
    ,awusukamadoda.Myl
    ady
    ,howar
    eyou?
    ”

    (
    Comeonnow,
    suchabeaut
    if
    ulwoman.
    )

    Hi
    saccenthassuddenl
    ychanged,
    hesoundspol
    i
    teandposhnow.

    Het
    akesmyhandi
    nanat
    temptt
    oki
    ssi
    tbut
    ,St
    ylesshr
    ugshi
    shandaway
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Iwi
    l
    lbur
    nthosebi
    gli
    psNeo.
    ”

    Het
    hreat
    ens,
    Neosmi
    l
    es.

    Neo:“Ei
    sh,Phol
    abozza.Uupt
    ighttoomuchmaan.I
    ’
    m al
    lowedt
    oappr
    eci
    ateubuhl
    ebent
    ombi
    .”
    (
    Relaxboss,youar
    etooupti
    ght.
    )(Thebeaut
    yofawoman.)
    Hesmi
    l
    esatme,
    I’
    m notsur
    eIknowhowIf
    eel
    aboutt
    his.

    Neo:“Ainojeal
    ousdown,Jobur
    gwomenar ebeaut
    if
    ul.WenaStyl
    osleOgamo, thunderfir
    eyou.
    Youletmemov etoPretor
    ia,
    knowingverywell
    thatt
    herearebeaut
    iful
    gi r
    lsmoJozi .Ai
    ino
    maan,keahana.Entl
    ekwhathappenedtothebrocodev el
    e?Lenaletl
    a’ng’bodi
    sa.”(St
    ylesand
    theboss.)(
    Iref
    use.
    )(Youtwowouldkil
    lme.)

    Mbuso:
    “Youknowwecandi
    agnosey
    ouwi
    thament
    ali
    l
    lness?You’
    renotnor
    mal
    ntwana.
    ”(Boy
    .)

    Het
    urnst
    olookatMbuso,
    thenbackatmeandSt
    yleswhi
    l
    ehol
    dingaf
    rownonhi
    sface.

    Neo:“
    Or engo?Goretheonl
    ythi
    ngekeut
    loi
    l
    ekent
    wanaf
    ela.
    ”(Whati
    shesay
    ing?Theonl
    y
    t
    hingIheardi
    sntwana.{Boy
    })

    Il
    augh.

    Neo:
    “Us’
    kangbor
    adokot
    ela.
    ”(Don’
    tbor
    emedoct
    or.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “Okayt
    hat
    ’senough.
    ”

    St
    ylesdi
    smi
    sses.

    Mbuso:
    “Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tmakenoi
    se.Randal
    lneedshi
    srest
    .”

    Mbusolookspi
    quedbyNeo’
    sfor
    war
    dness,
    Ithi
    nki
    thassomet
    hingt
    odowi
    thSt
    ylesf
    orci
    ng
    hi
    mt osl
    eepover.

    Neo:“
    No,youshoul
    dgor est
    .Gr
    avi
    tyegobont
    sadi
    flamest
    wana.You’
    ret
    alki
    ngshi
    tnow.I
    t’
    s
    pasty
    ourbedti
    me.”(Youmustbesleepy
    .)

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    Itr
    ynott
    olaughbecauseMbusoi
    sal
    readyof
    fended.

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyouher
    etoseeRandal
    lorar
    guewi
    thMbuso?
    ”

    Het
    urnst
    olookatRandal
    landhi
    sfacesuddenl
    ybecomesser
    ious.

    Neo:
    “Chai
    .Whatki
    ndofnonsensei
    sthi
    s?Chi
    neke.
    ”(God.
    )

    Hesnapshi
    sfi
    nger
    sonce.Youwoul
    dthi
    nkhewoul
    dbeser
    iousatat
    imel
    i
    ket
    his.

    Neo:
    “Haishame,
    is’
    aram senkosi
    .Kemangachunnedaai
    dingSt
    ylos?
    ”(Poorsoul
    .Whodi
    d
    t
    hist
    ohim?)

    Therei
    sawor r
    iedexpr
    essi
    ononhi
    sface,
    butIcan’
    tseem t
    otakehi
    m ser
    ious.I
    t’
    sami
    ssi
    on,
    especi
    all
    ynotwit
    hthetonehei
    susi
    ng.

    St
    yles:
    “Mkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Daaigr
    oot
    man?Ai
    manoat
    sebakemgi
    j
    imi
    daai
    man?
    ”(ThatOl
    dman?Youknowhe’
    sa
    zombi
    e?)

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ’st
    hat
    ?”

    Neo:
    “Mgi
    j
    imi
    Sty
    los,
    Mpi
    yakhekoI
    sibay
    a.Li
    yenaanal
    etaxi
    boss.
    ”(Fr
    om I
    sibay
    a,hewasal
    so
    at
    axi
    boss.
    )

    Mbuso:
    “Whatdoest
    hathav
    etodowi
    thMkhi
    ze?
    ”

    Neo:“Nwy
    eny
    wenywenywe,t
    samaya…uyo…robal
    a…dokot
    ela.Hau,
    sikgoasahausi
    ya
    kheny
    amaan.
    ”(Got
    obeddoct
    or,
    yourEngl
    ishi
    sbori
    ng.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “Neo.
    ”

    Hest
    opshi
    m butt
    hisi
    sNeo,
    youcannev
    erf
    il
    terhi
    smout
    h.Neouncensor
    ed.

    Neo:“Ei
    shbozza,wehav
    etof
    indast
    rongsangomatohel
    poga.Wemustst
    rengt
    henhi
    m
    becauseMkhizeotl
    amonkaamoetsemgij
    imi.
    ”(Mkhi
    zewil
    ltur
    nhi
    mint
    oazombie.
    )

    Me:
    “Neo,
    arey
    ouokay
    ?Doy
    ouneedany
    thi
    ng,
    foodorsomet
    hingt
    odr
    ink?
    ”

    Ihav
    etost
    opt
    his.

    Hesmi
    l
    esatmewi
    del
    y.

    Neo:
    “Ah,
    nkosazana.Whatdi
    dyouhav
    einmi
    nd?
    ”

    Ioptt
    obr
    ushoutwhatmymi
    ndi
    str
    yingt
    otel
    lme.

    St
    yles:
    “Fucky
    ouNeo,
    utl
    ony
    ant
    wana.
    ”(Youwi
    l
    lbesor
    ry.
    )

    St
    ylesbar
    ksathi
    m andNeol
    aughs.

    Neo:“Hai
    bobozzayaka,
    highhi
    ghiyakhuphuka.Youwantt
    ojoi
    nogat
    her
    e,ebi
    l
    ether
    e’senough
    space.
    ”(Myboss,y
    ourbloodpr
    essurewil
    lri
    se.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m notpl
    ayi
    ngNeo,
    thi
    sismywoman.Wat
    chy
    ourmout
    h.”

    Neo:“Ekhetniksgedoennie.Jaiv
    ekehor eonahanakadi nt
    hotsatl
    oft
    lof.Letloli
    malaStyl
    os,
    hi
    ghhi ghhaenachomi e,haikhethi
    .”(
    Ididn’
    tdoanyt
    hing.Theprobl
    em isthatyouarethi
    nki
    ng
    aboutsexualt
    hings,y
    ou’l
    lgethurtStyl
    es.Bloodpr
    essuredoesn’
    thavefavouri
    tes.
    )

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    ost
    andf
    ort
    his,
    clear
    lyt
    hisguyi
    scr
    azy
    .”

    Mbusosaysashemar
    chesout
    ,he’
    ssensi
    ti
    vet
    oday
    .He’
    seasi
    l
    yof
    fended,
    may
    beNeor
    ubshi
    m
    of
    fthewrongway.

    Neo:
    “Oabona?
    ”(Yousee?
    )

    Hepoi
    ntsatt
    hedoorwi
    thhi
    shand.

    Neo:
    “Kementi
    on-at
    loft
    lofy
    enaoav
    aya.Ut
    shabat
    loft
    lofbar
    ieo.
    ”(Iment
    ionsexandher
    uns,
    t
    hati
    dioti
    saf
    rai
    dofsex.
    )

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ousomet
    hingt
    oeat
    .”

    Hewear
    sthatpol
    i
    tesmi
    l
    eagai
    n.

    Neo:
    “Yebonkosazana.
    ”(Yes,
    myl
    ady
    .)
    St
    ylesgi
    veshi
    m acol
    dst
    are,
    bef
    orecl
    i
    cki
    nghi
    stongue.

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh,
    Ogamadoda.Ebi
    l
    ehasemot
    soanel
    ent
    hoena,
    enkar
    eut
    loj
    umperar
    e‘who’
    soga?
    ’

    Mkhi
    zeut
    lony
    eladaai
    moor skont
    .Ket
    lamobont sam’ae.Otl
    autl
    oaekaoacha,
    wemustdeal
    wi
    thhi
    mtr
    adit
    ional
    l
    ybozza.That’
    shi
    slanguage,
    thatmadafukha.
    ”

    (Mybossguys)(Thisdoesn’
    tsui
    thi
    m, i
    tlookslikehe’l
    lj
    umpupandsay‘
    who’
    soga?
    ’Mkhi
    zewi
    l
    l
    besor
    ry.
    )(Iwil
    lteachhim al
    esson,
    thatmot herfucker
    .)

    Neoistoomuchf
    orme,Ican’
    tseem t
    ogr
    asphowhecanhol
    dsuchaser
    iousf
    acewhi
    l
    e
    spewi
    ngsuchwor
    dsfr
    om hismouth.

    St
    yles:“
    Wedon’tneedthatNeo.WhatMkhizeneedsi
    stortur
    ebefor
    ewesendhi
    mtot
    he
    af
    terl
    if
    e.Hi
    sdeathwill
    besogr i
    slyt
    hatev
    enhellwil
    lrej
    ecthi
    m.”

    Shi
    versri
    pplet
    hroughmeatthesoundofhi
    scol
    dwor
    ds,
    Sty
    lesj
    ustconf
    ir
    medmybi
    ggestf
    ear
    .
    Theyarebacki
    ntothatl
    i
    feofcri
    me.

    Neo:“
    Leavei
    ttomebozza,Ketsebasangomatsebli
    nd.I
    nfact,
    baloibat
    opsStyl
    os.Ketsho
    t
    heonesbaflay
    akanali
    ti
    .Mkhizeutl
    onyela,
    batl
    amov urvaya.
    ”(Iknowgoodwitchdoct
    ors/
    t
    radi
    ti
    onal
    i
    st.Wit
    chesact
    uall
    y,t
    heonesthatfl
    ywit
    haneedle.Mkhizewil
    lbesor
    ry

    St
    yles:“Neo,youknowRandal
    li
    snotaboutt
    hatl
    i
    fe.I
    fyouwantt
    opi
    sshi
    m of
    fthencont
    inue
    wi
    thy ourstupi
    dplans.
    ”

    Neo:“Joang?Whataboutthethingserelibonamodi movi
    nit
    sakoNigeri
    a?Wadl
    alawena
    Sty
    los,Ogaotsebaboloi
    firsthand.Mmot se.”(
    Buthow? )(
    WeseeinNiger
    ianmov
    ies.You’
    re
    notseri
    ousStyl
    es,
    bossknowswi tchcr
    aftfi
    rsthand.Askhim)

    Hesayspoi
    nti
    ngatRandal
    l
    ,Mbusowasr
    ight
    .Thi
    smanneedst
    obedi
    agnosedsohecanbe
    t
    reat
    ed.

    And,
    hest
    il
    lthi
    nksNi
    ger
    iaandGhanaar
    ethesame.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    please.Comewi
    thmet
    otheki
    tchenso,
    Icangi
    vey
    ousomet
    hingt
    oeat
    .”

    Thesmi
    l
    eagai
    n.

    Neo:“Ndl
    ovukazi
    ,youcangi
    vemeanythi
    ngt
    oeat
    .Lebhekami
    nangedwa,
    Iwi
    l
    lev
    enaskf
    or
    seconds.
    ”(Myqueen.Evenal
    ovepot
    ion.
    )

    Hehasmegi
    ggl
    i
    ngathi
    swor
    ds,
    Sty
    lesf
    rownsatme.

    St
    yles:
    “Di
    dIt
    ell
    yout
    hatIhav
    eagunandIknowhowt
    oshootpeopl
    e?”

    Sty
    lest
    hreatens,Neoisnotfazed.Het
    hrowshi
    sheadback,alaugher
    upt
    ingf
    rom hi
    smout
    h.
    Thatwasloud,IglanceatRandall
    whoissl
    eepi
    ngpeacef
    ull
    y.

    If
    indSt
    yleslooki
    ngathi
    m aswel
    l
    ,asItur
    ntohim,hef
    lashesaquicksmil
    ethatdi
    sappear
    sli
    ke
    i
    twasnev ert
    here.Cr
    avi
    ngtof
    eel
    hisl
    ipsonmine,
    Ishi
    ftcloserandl
    eanuptokisshi
    m.

    Neo:
    “Goshar
    p,ket
    soer
    eker
    esemar
    ayohechesa.
    ”(I
    ’
    m hol
    dingacandl
    ebut
    ,it
    ’shot
    .)
    Hedecl
    ares,
    Imuf
    fl
    eal
    augh.AsIwal
    koutoft
    her
    oom,
    hef
    oll
    owsbehi
    ndmel
    eav
    ingSt
    yles
    al
    one.

    NOMBULELO*

    There’
    saknockont hedoor,i
    tmustbethedeli
    ver
    yman.Mbusoor deredthefood,hehadcall
    ed
    mesay i
    nghewon’ tbebackti
    llt
    omorr
    ow.Foramomentt her
    e,Ithoughtheoptedtosleepover
    athisgi
    rl
    fr
    iend’
    shouse.Ifel
    tsobadthatIwasreadytoleavethenextmor ni
    ng,i
    twasuntilhe
    tol
    dmet hatafr
    iendissickandhehastotakecareofthem.

    Hedi
    dnotgi
    vemuchdet
    ail
    andIdi
    dn’
    tcar
    etoaskanyf
    urt
    her
    .Iti
    snoneofmybusi
    nessany
    way
    .

    Tomor
    rowIhavetogot
    othehospi
    tal
    andseeifIst
    il
    lhav
    ethati
    nter
    njob.Imi
    ssedaf
    ewday
    s,I
    wassocaughtupi
    nmymiser
    ythatIf
    orgott
    orepor
    ttowork.

    Bei
    ngindoorscanbesuf
    focat
    ing,
    especi
    all
    ywhenyouhavesomuchonyourmind.Youonl
    y
    hav
    ey ourdi
    sconcer
    ti
    ngt
    houghtst
    okeepy oucompany
    .Itf
    eel
    sli
    ket
    hesewall
    sareclosi
    ngi
    non
    mey et
    ,Ihav
    ebeenheref
    oronlyafewhours.

    Thefoodi
    snott
    hatbad,al
    thoughIwoul
    dpreferany
    thi
    ngbut
    ,pi
    zza.I
    fwi
    sheswer
    ehor
    ses,
    beggar
    swoul
    dri
    de.Beingpickyi
    snotanopt
    ion.

    Myphoner
    ings.

    Whatdoesshewant
    ?Notoncehasshecall
    edmesinceIwasthrownoutofmyfat
    her’
    shouse.
    I
    ’m ev
    enfor
    gett
    ingt
    hesoundofherv
    oice,
    Ithi
    nkofnotanswer
    ingbut
    ,sheismymother.

    Me:
    “Hel
    l
    o.”

    Imakei
    tapoi
    ntt
    hatshet
    akesnot
    eofmycol
    dtone.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Ohmybaby
    .Unj
    ani
    sthandwasam?
    ”(Howar
    eyoumyl
    ove?
    )

    Me:
    “Whati
    sitmom?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    opr
    etendwi
    thher
    .

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Lel
    o,wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”

    I
    sshebei
    ngser
    iousr
    ightnow?

    Me:
    “Idon’
    thav
    eti
    mef
    orchi
    tchatmom,
    tel
    lmewhaty
    ouwant
    .”

    Shebr
    eaksi
    ntoasob,
    nor
    mal
    l
    yIwoul
    dfeel
    sor
    ryf
    orher
    .

    Nt
    ombi
    :“OhLel
    o,y
    ourf
    atheri
    smi
    ssi
    ng.
    ”

    Wow.

    Iwasaf
    ool
    tot
    hinkshel
    ovedme.
    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouki
    ddi
    ngmer
    ightnowmom?
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“NoLel
    o,I
    ’
    m ser
    ious.Hel
    efther
    eaf
    ewhour
    sagoand…”

    Me:“YouhavegottobekiddingmeNt ombi.Doyouknowwhereyourdaught
    eris?Doyouknow
    whatshehasbeenthrough?Notoncehav eyoucal
    ledmetoaskifIwasokay,i
    fIhadaplaceto
    l
    aymyheadonori fIhadeat en.Andtheonlyti
    mey ourememberthaty
    ouhaveadaughteris
    whenyourhusbandgoesmi ssingjustforafewhours.
    ”

    Icannotexpr
    esst
    heamountofangerIam f
    eel
    i
    ng.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Nombul
    elohl
    e…”

    Me:
    “Youpeopl
    edi
    sownedmer
    emember
    ,Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ouany
    mor
    e.”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Lel
    o…”

    Idropt
    hecallbeforeshecanspeakanyfur
    ther
    .Thi
    spainhereexceedstheoneZumadr i
    ll
    edi
    n
    meAm Ithatbadofaper sonthatevenmyownmot herr
    ejectsmeli
    kethis?I
    tfeel
    sli
    keI’
    m
    drowni
    ngandt hereisnoonetopull
    meup.HowdoIdeal wi t
    hthesedemonssur r
    oundi
    ngme?

    Ican’
    tfi
    ghtbackt
    hetear
    sanymor
    eso,Ibursti
    ntotear
    s,rel
    easi
    ngever
    ythi
    ngout.Sobst
    urni
    nto
    wail
    s,whicht
    urni
    ntoscr
    eamsofangui
    sh.Iwantitt
    ostop,Iwantt
    hepaintost
    op.

    Me:
    “God,
    ify
    ou’
    ret
    her
    etakei
    tal
    laway
    .”

    Iscr
    eam i
    tal
    lout
    .

    HowcanIsuff
    erli
    kethi
    swhenmyGodi sali
    ve?Ican’
    tcar
    ryt
    hisbur
    denany
    mor
    e,i
    t’
    sheav
    ier
    t
    hani
    tshouldbe.I
    fthi
    sisat
    est
    ,thenIhavefai
    led.

    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    37*

    NOMBULELO*

    I
    ’
    m wokenupfrom adeepslumberbyaloudknockont
    hedoor
    ,myheadf
    eel
    sheav
    y.I
    tmustbe
    f
    rom t
    hecr
    yingmarathonIhadl
    astnight
    .

    Idr
    agmy
    sel
    foutofbedandt
    rudgeoutofmyr
    oom.

    “
    Mbusoopent
    hisdoor
    .”

    Awoman’
    svoi
    cesoundsfr
    om theot
    hersi
    deoft
    hedoor
    .Iopeni
    tandmeetami
    ddl
    eaged
    womanwhofr
    ownsatthesi
    ghtofme.

    Her
    :“Whoar
    eyouandwher
    eismyson?
    ”

    Shepushesmet otheside,
    forci
    nghersel
    finsi
    detheapartment.Il
    etherbesi
    nceshe
    mentionedthatsheisamot hert
    ot heownerofthi
    splace.Thelooksheisgi
    vi
    ngmemakesme
    uncomf or
    tabl
    ei nal
    lty
    pesofway s.I’
    m weari
    ngat-shir
    tthatcover
    smeupt omykneesandI
    cannotcompr ehendwhyshei sl
    ookingatmel i
    keI
    ’m aprosti
    tut
    e.

    Her
    :“Iaskedy
    ouaquest
    ionnt
    ombazane.
    ”(Gi
    rl
    .)

    Me:
    “Mynamei
    sLel
    omaandMbusoi
    s…”

    HowdoIsayt
    his?MbusoandIar
    enotexact
    lyf
    ri
    ends.

    Her
    :“Youmustbet
    hemai
    d.”

    Sheconcl
    udesandIdon’
    thav
    eiti
    nmet
    oar
    gue.

    We’
    l
    llethert
    hinkt
    hatf
    ornow.

    Her
    :“Gomakemesomet
    ea,
    blackwi
    tht
    wot
    easpoonsofsugar
    .”

    Okay
    …Wear
    egi
    vi
    ngor
    der
    sal
    ready
    .

    Me:
    “YeboMa.
    ”

    Shescowl
    sandsqui
    ntsherey
    esatme.

    Her
    :“Iam noty
    ourmot
    her
    ,I’
    m Mr
    s.Xabat
    oyou.
    ”

    Shecor
    rect
    smewi
    thanat
    ti
    tude,
    shei
    swaydi
    ff
    erentf
    rom Mbuso.Iwoul
    dn’
    tbesur
    pri
    sedi
    fshe
    i
    stheaunt.

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    Myhor
    monesar
    eal
    soknocki
    ngt
    ooandshewi
    l
    lknowmeoncet
    heymani
    fest
    .Iwat
    chheras
    shetr
    eadstot
    hecouchandt
    hrowsher
    sel
    foni
    t,shegr
    abst
    heTVr
    emot
    eandst
    art
    schannel
    sear
    ching.

    Her
    :“Whatar
    eyouwai
    ti
    ngf
    or?Isai
    dgomakemesomet
    ea.
    ”

    Shecommands,
    rudel
    y.

    It
    urnandr
    oll
    myey
    esasIl
    ugmyf
    eett
    otheki
    tchen.

    Her
    :“Isawt
    hat
    ,nx!
    ”

    Sheshout
    saf
    terme.

    Gosh…

    Mbusobett
    ercomebackear
    ly,
    Idonothav
    ethest
    rengt
    htodeal
    wit
    hthi
    swomansoear
    lyi
    nthe
    morni
    ng.

    STYLES*

    Thet
    rackerIputonAmarasayst
    hatshe’
    satBar
    ahospi
    tal
    ,somet
    hingdoesn’
    taddup.Why
    woul
    dshebeatt hehospi
    tal
    ?

    Ispentt
    henighti
    nRandal
    l
    ’sroom wai
    ti
    ngforhimtowakeup,Iwant
    edtobeherewhenhe
    openshisey
    es.Mbusoconfi
    rmedthatheisokayandshoul
    dbeawakebynow,hecan’
    tex
    plai
    n
    though,
    whyhehasnotopenedhiseyesyet.

    “
    Isi
    tsaf
    etosayt
    haty
    ourat
    tachmentt
    oRandal
    li
    sst
    range?
    ”

    Nkomosay
    sashewal
    ksi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    hei
    scar
    ryi
    ngt
    wocupsofcof
    feeandhandsmeone.

    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    odr
    inkt
    hat
    .

    It
    akei
    tany
    wayandpl
    acei
    tont
    het
    abl
    e,het
    akesasi
    tbesi
    deme.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotdi
    gni
    fyy
    ourquest
    ionwi
    thananswer
    .”

    Nkomo:
    “Youhav
    ebeenont
    hatl
    apt
    opsi
    ncel
    astni
    ght
    .”

    Hegur
    gles,
    Idon’
    tknowwhy
    .

    Nkomo:
    “Anyl
    uckwi
    thf
    indi
    ngher
    ?”

    Me:
    “It
    hinkIhav
    esomet
    hing,
    itcoul
    dbeat
    rapt
    hough.
    ”

    Neo:
    “WhathappenedtoyouSty
    los?Thi
    swasyourthing,
    bamonki
    l
    ejoangdaai
    cher
    iehaone
    olet
    eng?
    ”(Howdi dtheyt
    akeAmarawhil
    eyou’
    rehere?)

    Neov
    oicesout
    ,hej
    ustwal
    kedi
    nandhe’
    snotal
    one.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Ii
    nqui
    re,l
    ooki
    ngatt
    heel
    der
    lywomanhei
    swi
    th.Shei
    swear
    ingal
    ongwhi
    ter
    obwi
    thawhi
    te
    headwrap.

    Neo:
    “KeMaSont
    oo,
    shei
    sapr
    ophet
    .It
    oldy
    ougor
    eket
    sebabat
    ho.
    ”(It
    oldy
    ouIknowpeopl
    e.)

    Me:
    “Neo,
    whati
    sshedoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Neo:
    “Bozzaohl
    okami
    thandazoSt
    ylos,
    MaSont
    owi
    l
    lhel
    phi
    m.”

    Nkomo:
    “Hecoul
    dber
    ighty
    ouknow,
    hisi
    njur
    ieswer
    enott
    hatbad.Heshoul
    dbeawakebynow.
    ”

    Ithi
    nkt hatIam sur
    roundedbycl
    owns,
    it’
    sti
    mesl
    i
    ket
    hesewhenImi
    ssmybr
    other
    .He’
    sthe
    onlyreasonabl
    epersonIknow.

    Her
    :“Whoi
    sthi
    sman?
    ”

    Sheasksasshegl
    ancesatRandal
    l
    .

    Neo:
    “KeUzeMaSont
    o.”(
    It
    ’sUze.
    )

    Her
    :“Imean,
    wher
    eishef
    rom?Hei
    snotsupposedt
    obeher
    e.”

    Ohshi
    t!
    !!

    Neo:
    “Ogai
    sfr
    om Ghana.
    ”

    Me:“Thedoct
    oradv
    isedt
    hatweshoul
    dn’
    tcr
    owdRandal
    lso,
    Neoi
    twoul
    dbebestt
    haty
    oushow
    herout.
    ”

    Thi
    sismet
    ryi
    ngt
    ogetr
    idofher
    .

    Shelooksatme,herey
    esaresearchi
    ngmysoul .Noonehasev ercompel
    ledmet odropmy
    gazebut,t
    her
    eissomethi
    ngpower f
    ulaboutt
    hiswoman.Ican’tputmymi ndtoit
    ,it
    ’sli
    keshe
    knowseverybadthi
    ngIhaveeverdoneinmyli
    fe.Shejustdugintomydeepestdarkestsecr
    ets.

    Her
    :“St
    ophi
    dingt
    hingsf
    rom meSi
    yabonga.
    ”

    Shedecl
    ares,havi
    ngmegulpinfear.Howthehel
    ldoessheknowthatname?Nooneknows
    abouti
    t,notevenRandal
    l
    .It
    ’sahiddenpastt
    hatshoul
    dstayhi
    dden.

    Feardoesn’
    tknowme.Whoi st
    hiswomanthathasfearchal
    l
    engeme?Neohast
    hisr
    egr
    etf
    ul
    l
    ookinhiseyes,Iam goi
    ngt
    ofuckhi
    m upf
    orthis.

    Neo:
    “MaSont
    o,webr
    oughty
    ouher
    eforoga.Notboz
    za.
    ”

    Her:
    “Neo,t
    hisi
    sbiggerthanme.Thismanneedstogobackhome,hispeoplearesear
    chi
    ngf or
    hi
    m.Hewaschosenbef orehi
    sbirt
    htoleadhi
    speopl
    e,not
    hinghasgonerightbackhomesince
    hi
    sdepart
    ure.I
    fheconti
    nuestoignorehi
    scal
    l
    inghewil
    ldi
    e.”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisi
    nsane.Whaty
    ouar
    esay
    ingdoesn’
    tmakesense,
    it’
    sLudacr
    is.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Eish,
    bozzaaski
    es.Kopasekeoaboasekgoasedeep.MaSont
    ohaautl
    oe.
    ”(Pl
    ease
    don’
    tspeakdeepEngl
    i
    sh,MaSontodoesn’
    tunder
    standwhaty
    ouar
    esayi
    ng.
    )
    Me:“Fuckt
    hisshi
    tokay
    .Di
    dInott
    ell
    younott
    odot
    hisNeo?Ispeci
    fi
    cal
    l
    ytol
    dyout
    hatIwi
    l
    l
    handl
    eever
    ythi
    ng.
    ”

    Neo:“
    NoStylosmaan,oangdi
    sappoi
    nt-
    a.Pl
    easeshowrespectkoMaSonto.Phel
    ashe’
    sa
    pr
    ophet,
    herGodwill
    stri
    keyouwit
    hli
    ghtni
    ng.Don’
    tsayIdi
    dn’tt
    ell
    youbozza.”(
    You’
    re
    di
    sappoi
    nti
    ngmeSt y
    les.
    )

    Nkomo:
    “Look,
    IknowIhav
    enosaywheni
    tcomest
    oRandal
    lbut
    …”

    Me:
    “Thenshutt
    hef
    uckup.
    ”

    Ibar
    kathi
    m,her
    aiseshi
    shandsi
    ndef
    ence.

    Her:
    “Youareusi
    ngy
    ourangerasanescapef
    rom t
    het
    rut
    h,y
    oucan’
    tpr
    otecthi
    mfor
    ever
    Si
    yabonga.
    ”

    Ihat
    ethatname.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    asshecl
    osesherey
    es.

    Her
    :“Icanseehi
    ssoul
    ,hi
    sgr
    andf
    atherr
    efusest
    olethi
    m go.
    ”

    Shestar
    tsgroani
    ngandfal
    l
    sonherknees,
    it’
    ssof
    astt
    hatwedon’
    thav
    eti
    met
    ocat
    chher
    .Her
    bodyconvul
    seswhil
    e,shemummerswordswecan’
    tmakeout
    .

    Neo:
    “Bl
    oodofJesus.
    ”

    Heexpr
    essesl
    oudl
    yasher
    unst
    ohi
    debehi
    ndme.

    Neo:
    “MaSont
    o.”

    Thefeari
    nhisvoi
    cegiv
    eshim away.Ican’
    tputi
    ntowordswhati
    shappeni
    ngher
    e,I
    ’mj
    ustas
    shockedasNeo.Nkomothough,doesn’
    tseem f
    azed,
    hekneel
    sinfr
    ontofMaSont
    o.

    Neo:
    “Oet
    sangbar
    isee?Nkomontwana,
    sekeoachunnadaai di
    ng.Utl
    akhaut
    heka.Kel
    i
    ntho
    t
    sabodemonit
    se.
    ”(Nkomodon’
    tdothat
    ,you’
    l
    lgethur
    t.Thesearedemoni
    cthi
    ngs.)

    Nkomo:“Guy
    s,Iknowwhati
    sgoingon,myfamil
    yisver
    ytr
    adit
    ional
    .Igr
    ewupar oundt
    hese
    t
    hings,
    MaSontoismani
    fest
    ing.Aspi
    ri
    thascomefor
    thanditwantstospeak.
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tpl
    ayusNkomo,
    it’
    snotf
    unny
    .”

    Nkomo:“Thi
    sisreal,
    shewil
    lremai
    ninthisposi
    ti
    onunt
    ilwespeakt
    othespi
    ri
    t.I
    twi
    l
    lnotdepar
    t
    unt
    ili
    tsayswhatitwant
    s.Getonyourkneesnow.”

    Heexpl
    ainsandr
    equest
    s.

    Neogr
    absmyar
    m andIpul
    li
    taway
    .

    Neo:
    “Oahl
    any
    aNkomosaani
    ,I
    ’m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    enearher
    .”(
    Youar
    ecr
    azyNkomo.
    )

    Nkomo:
    “Yout
    ooar
    ejustwast
    ingt
    ime.
    ”
    Masont
    ost
    art
    sgr
    oani
    ngagai
    nwhi
    l
    eherbodyshudder
    s.

    Neo:
    “No,keshar
    p,Iwi
    llsi
    tnextt
    oogathere.Yout
    wocont
    inue,
    I’
    ll
    wat
    chf
    rom adi
    stance.
    DemonsandIarenotf
    ri
    ends,i
    t’
    salongstory.
    ”

    Heexpl
    ainswhi
    l
    emov
    ingt
    owar
    dst
    hebedandsi
    tsont
    opofi
    t.

    Nkomo:
    “Whoar
    eyou?
    ”

    Nkomosay
    stoMaSont
    o.

    Shelaughsbuthervoi
    cesoundsdeepandthi
    ck,
    forasecondt
    her
    eIt
    hinkamal
    espi
    ri
    thas
    takenoverher
    .Thenagai
    n,thi
    sisal
    lcr
    azyandunreal
    .

    Her
    :“Okol
    i
    eOkol
    i
    e.”

    Thedeepv
    oiceechoesi
    ntheroom bef
    oreal
    aughevadeshermout
    h,myhear
    tst
    ops.Okol
    i
    e
    Okol
    iei
    shi
    sgrandfat
    her
    ,butIknowhimtobeali
    ve.

    Neo:
    “St
    ylos.
    ”

    Neonudgesme.

    Whendi
    dhegetbehi
    ndme?

    Neo:“
    Ketl
    ocheckerKhet
    hukaki
    chineng,
    sekeoawar
    aka‘
    naneh.
    ”(I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    ocheckon
    Khet
    huint
    hekit
    chen.Don’
    twor
    ryaboutme.)

    Hewhi
    sper
    s.

    Igr
    abhi
    shandandpul
    lhi
    m down,
    hef
    all
    sonhi
    sbut
    t.

    Hebr
    oughtt
    hiswomanher
    e,sohemustswal
    l
    owt
    hepi
    l
    l.

    Neo:“
    Styl
    osuntseuetsangntwana,
    I’
    m comi
    ngbackrel
    exa.MaybeMaSont
    owi
    l
    lwant
    somethi
    ngtoeataf
    tert
    his.
    ”(Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngStyl
    es?rel
    ax.)

    Me:
    “Youar
    enotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    eNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh,
    wenabozza.Youwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmeoneday
    .Iwi
    l
    lhauntst
    ruu.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”

    Her
    :“Thati
    smygr
    andsonont
    hatbed.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Whoi
    syourgr
    andson?
    ”

    Her
    :“UzeOkol
    i
    e.”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Her:
    “HeisaKing,hi
    ssoul i
    swithhi
    speoplenow.Itwasappointedtohi
    mf r
    om hi
    smot her’
    s
    wombthathewillbealeaderbutheranf
    rom hisr
    esponsi
    bil
    it
    ies.Mysoulhasnotbeenatrest
    si
    nceIt
    ookmyl astbreat
    h.Ihavebeensearchi
    ngti
    rel
    essl
    yforhim andnowthatIhavefound
    hi
    m Iwi
    llnotl
    ethi
    m go.”
    Neo:“
    Hayibozza,whenIsaidket
    sebabaloi,
    Ididn’
    tmeanthi
    s.Thi
    sishighergradewitchcr
    aft
    maan.NnakebatlahotsamaeaStyl
    os.I
    fhecant akeoga’
    ssoulwhil
    eheisstil
    lali
    ve,i
    magine
    hor
    enaoltaleetsaeng”(Iknowwit
    chcraftbutthi
    soneisupgr
    aded,IwanttogoSt y
    les.
    I
    maginewhathewi l
    ldotous.)

    Noneoft
    hismakessense.

    Me:
    “Randal
    li
    snotdead,
    hishear
    tisst
    il
    lbeat
    ing.Howcanhi
    ssoul
    bewi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Her
    :“Hi
    ssoul
    iswi
    thme,
    heneedst
    omakeadeci
    sionandhehast
    ochoosewi
    sel
    yorIwi
    l
    lnot
    l
    ethi
    m go.
    ”

    Thi
    sanger
    smegr
    eat
    ly.

    Nkomo:
    “Okay
    ,weheary
    ou.But
    ,howdowebr
    inghi
    m back?
    ”

    Her
    :“Hi
    sfat
    herhast
    ocomeher
    e,hewi
    l
    lknowwhatt
    odo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thatwi
    l
    lnothappen,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotal
    l
    owi
    t.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “St
    yles…”

    Me:
    “NoNkomo,
    Randal
    lwant
    snot
    hingt
    odowi
    tht
    hosepeopl
    e.”

    Her:
    “Ifheremai
    nsinthisst
    ate,
    hewi
    llneverbefreefrom me.Thest
    orm wi
    l
    lnotcease,
    itwi
    l
    l
    r
    aineverydayunt
    ilwhatshoul
    dbecl
    earediscleared.
    ”

    IhearNeogaspi
    nshockbehi
    ndme.

    Neo:“OabonanoeSty
    los,oabona.Thisisnotnormalman,soy oumeantherai
    noutsidewas…
    Aii
    inomaan.Whatsortofwit
    chcraf
    tisthis?Styl
    osaretsamaeantwana,r
    etloheleNkomole
    mkuluoaOga.Oabonahor ehe’
    susedt othis.
    ”(YouseeSty
    les?Let
    ’sgoStyl
    es,Nkomowill
    handl
    ehim.)

    Idon’tcar
    ewhati
    shappeni
    ng,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotal
    l
    owt
    hatmanany
    wher
    enearRandal
    l
    .Ther
    eisa
    reasonhelef
    thi
    sfami
    ly.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Wewal kthrought hegateatS’ godi’shouse,heinstruct


    sust oremov eourshoesbef or
    eenteri
    ng
    hishut.Thisoldmanhasar ondav eli
    nhisbacky ard,it
    ’snotweirdbecausehei sknownasa
    witchdoctorar oundVaal.Therear especulati
    ons,thatheismor ethanaheal er
    .Thehuti sabi
    t
    darkinsi
    de, i
    tlookslikeyourtypicaltr
    aditi
    onalshed.Ther oom isornamentedwi t
    hmedi ci
    ne-
    fi
    ll
    edbot t
    les,weirdlooki
    ngscul pturesthatsendchillsdowny ourspine.Thi
    sisit,t
    hereisno
    turni
    ngbacknow.

    Weassembleonatr
    adi
    ti
    onal
    Zul
    umat(
    icansi
    ),Pet
    uni
    aandIshar
    eonewhi
    l
    eMhambi
    isgi
    vena
    newspapert
    osi
    ton.
    S’
    godi
    thr
    owshi
    sbones,
    hegr
    unt
    saf
    ewt
    imes.

    S’
    godi
    :“Vumani
    bo.
    ”

    Us:
    “Si
    yav
    uma.
    ”

    Wechor
    us.

    Ifeelaquiv
    eri
    ngsensati
    oninsi
    demyabdomen, andmychesti
    sti
    ghteni
    ng.Ican’
    tcomprehend
    thereasonbehi
    ndit,
    ther
    e’sthi
    sfeart
    hathasengul
    fedmeandIcan’
    tshakeitoff
    .Sgodirai
    ses
    hisheadandhiseyesfal
    lonme, myheartst
    opsasthel
    ookinhi
    seyesincr
    easesthefearthat
    hasclaimedme.

    S’
    godi
    :“Yourhusbandknowswhyy
    ourchi
    l
    dissuf
    fer
    ing.
    ”

    Myst
    omachknot
    sinr
    esponset
    ohi
    sannouncement
    .

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Bengazi
    .”(
    Iknewi
    t.
    )

    Nx!

    She’
    stoof
    orwar
    d.

    S’godi:
    “Wesisi
    .Tell
    yourhusbandtoconf esswhathedi
    dt othatchi
    l
    dandwher ehet ookher.I
    f
    thetrut
    hisnotrev
    ealed,i
    nganeyakhoayisozeyabanokuthul
    a.Amadlozi
    athukuthelengenxa
    yendlel
    ayonkeint
    oephethwengay o.
    ”(Yourchil
    dwill
    neverbeatpeace,t
    heancest orsar
    eangry
    becauseofthewayev er
    ythi
    ngwashandl ed.”

    Me:
    “Angi
    qondi
    .”(
    Idon’
    tunder
    stand.
    )

    Petunia:“Ushoukut
    hiniukuthi
    awuqondi
    Ntombi
    ,Kucacenj
    e?”(
    Whatdoy
    oumeany
    oudon’
    t
    understandNtombi?It’
    sclear.
    )

    S’
    godi
    :“Ngi
    khulumil
    e,t
    her
    eisnot
    hingel
    seIcandof
    ory
    ou.Thi
    sisal
    lthathasbeenr
    eveal
    edt
    o
    me.”(
    Ihavespoken.
    )

    Igl
    anceatMhambi ,hi
    ssil
    encescaresme.IwishIknewwhatisr unni
    ngthroughhi smind.
    Amarameantsomucht ohim,sheresembl
    esourlatebr
    otherandMhambi feltaconnecti
    on
    wit
    hhim wheneverhewasar oundAmara.Nowhehasnot hi
    ngt oholdonto, not
    hingbut
    pi
    ctur
    esthatarefr
    ozeninti
    me.Ani magethatwil
    lremai
    nthat,animage.

    KHETHU*

    Li
    y anai
    sdiff
    icul
    ttoday,shehasn’tst
    oppedaskingforherfat
    her.Idon’tknowwhattotellher
    any mor
    e,Sty
    lesspecifi
    call
    ytol
    dmet okeepherawayf rom Randall
    ’sroom.Call
    ingOli
    viawould
    bebest,onl
    ysheknowshowt ocomfortherchi
    ld.Iki
    ndoffeelsorr
    yforChi omatoo.Pl
    ayingher
    grannyrol
    etoLiyana,sheappearstobedr ai
    nedandbleak.SheunderstandsthatRandall
    wi l
    lbe
    okaybut,t
    hereisabitofdoubttuggingather.
    Sheexcl
    aimedt
    hati
    fRandal
    li
    sokayt
    hen,
    whyi
    shenotawakey
    et.

    Li
    yana:
    “Aunt
    yKhet
    hu,
    yousai
    dpapawi
    l
    lbebackl
    aterr
    ight
    ?”

    Ishoul
    dhavecomeupwi
    thadi
    ff
    erentexcuse.Howwi
    l
    lIexpl
    ainwhyhei
    snotbackf
    rom wher
    e
    hesupposedl
    ywent
    ?

    Inod,asIfil
    lherbowl wi
    thanotherscoopoficecream.Chiomaadv i
    sedmeagainsti
    tbecause
    i
    t’
    swi nt
    er.Idon’thaveanyotheropti
    on,thi
    sistheonlyt
    hingthat,cancomposethist
    eny earol
    d
    gir
    l.Iam outofideasandherfeti
    shforicecream i
    smymostf av
    our i
    tethi
    ngatt
    hemoment .

    Li
    yana:
    “It
    ’sl
    aternow.Canwegoseei
    fhe’
    sback?
    ”

    Myheartbr
    eaksasshelooksupatmewi
    thheri
    nnocentci
    nnamoney
    es.Ly
    ingt
    oki
    dsal
    way
    s
    backf
    ir
    es,t
    hisi
    sproofr
    ighther
    e.

    Me:
    “Sweet
    ie,
    he’
    snotbacky
    et.YouknowhowIknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    herey
    esf
    il
    li
    ngwi
    tht
    ear
    s.

    Me:
    “Becausewhenhecomesback,
    thef
    ir
    stt
    hinghewi
    l
    ldoi
    slookf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Shepushest
    hebowl
    tot
    hesi
    de.

    Me:
    “Won’
    tyoueaty
    ouri
    cecr
    eam Li
    ya.
    ”

    Sheshakesherheadandat
    eardr
    opsf
    rom herey
    e.

    Li
    yana:
    “Idon’
    twanti
    tany
    mor
    e,Iwantmypapa.
    ”

    Shesobs.Idon’
    tknowhowt opaci
    fyherany
    mor
    e.There’
    sanincomi
    ngcal
    lonmyphone,i
    t’
    smy
    fat
    her
    .Liyana’
    seyesl
    ightup,
    theyf
    oll
    owmyhandgrabbingt
    hephonefr
    om t
    heki
    tchencount
    er.

    Me:
    “Hel
    l
    o.”

    Li
    yana:
    “Isi
    thi
    m.”

    Shesmileswidel
    y,If
    eel
    badf
    orhav
    ingt
    obr
    eakherl
    i
    ttl
    ehear
    t.Shej
    olt
    sfr
    om t
    hechai
    randr
    uns
    offwhenIshakemyheadno.

    Randal
    l
    ,youbet
    terwakeup.

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hu,
    wher
    eisSi
    shi
    ?”

    Thet
    oneonhi
    svoi
    cei
    snotsoci
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “He’
    sar
    ounddad.Whathappened?
    ”

    Ihopehehasn’
    tfoundoutaboutSt
    yle’
    sshenani
    gans.

    Dad:
    “Gethi
    mtocal
    lme,
    it’
    sur
    gent
    .”

    Me:
    “Icanpasst
    hemessaget
    ohi
    m,he’
    ski
    ndofbusyl
    atel
    y.
    ”

    Dad:
    “No,
    justt
    ell
    himt
    ocal
    lme.
    ”
    Hedi
    smissesmebef
    oredr
    oppi
    ngt
    hecal
    landI
    ’
    mlef
    tper
    plexed.Whatcoul
    dhepossi
    blywant
    f
    rom St
    yles?

    Now,
    Ihav
    etof
    indLi
    yana.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    38*

    MOSES*

    Mkhizelef
    tthisplacescreamingli
    keamonkey ,Ihat
    ethatman.Ittur
    nsoutthecarAmarawas
    i
    ncrashed,Ican’tsaythatIam worri
    edabouther.Honestl
    y,Inev
    erreal
    lyl
    ookedatherasmy
    ni
    ece,noneofNt ombi’
    sf amil
    ymat t
    erst
    omeandIcan’ tst
    andherbrother
    s.Especi
    all
    yMhambi
    andJonas,theygetonmyner ves.

    I’
    m stuckinthisr
    oom andt
    her
    eisnowayout,ther
    e’sabounceroutsi
    dethedoor
    .Hewasgiv
    en
    str
    ictinst
    ruct
    ionsnott
    oopenthedoor
    ,thebl
    oodyidiot
    sdi
    dn’tevenatt
    endtomywounds.

    WhenIescapefrom t
    hispl
    ace,
    Iwil
    lhav
    etogobackt oS’godi
    forstr
    ongermut
    i(t
    radi
    ti
    onal
    medi
    cine)
    .Theonehegav emelastt
    imeforpr
    otect
    ionseemst obeweari
    ngof
    f.Ihavetomake
    i
    toutofhereal
    i
    ve.

    Mkhizeisful
    lofit
    ,hewant smetowalkthatst
    upi
    ddumbgi r
    ldownt heai
    sle.I
    fitwasn’
    tformy
    greedformoney,IwouldhavetakenAmaraasmywife.Ihadthoughtofi
    twhenNt ombicame
    homewi thher
    ,thenightherpar
    entswer
    ekill
    ed.

    Theplanwast odisposeofNtombionceNombul
    elomovedoutandt
    akeAmar
    aasmywi fe,but
    greedgottome.NowI ’
    m st
    uckwit
    hascrawnywoman.Howshemanagedtol
    osesomuch
    weightovert
    hey ears,
    puzzl
    esme.Shefai
    lst
    ogainevenani
    nchandIhav
    etoendur
    ethatfor
    therestofmylif
    e.

    Mashotomakesupforitinal
    lway sthanone,herful
    lfi
    gure,herthi
    ckt
    highsandmyf avour
    it
    ei s
    herfl
    abbyst
    omach.Il
    ov ehowi tf
    eelsagai
    nstme, andIlovehowshet akescar
    eofme.Ican’ t
    saythesameaboutNt
    ombi ,I
    ’
    mt i
    redanddrai
    nedbyherf ami l
    ydrama.Iblamethem f
    orthelack
    oflovet
    hatIf
    eelt
    owardsher,theyhavedestr
    oy edmymar r
    iage.

    NOMBULELO*

    “
    Hai
    bogi
    rl
    y!Ar
    eyoust
    il
    lwashi
    ngt
    hosecl
    othes?Howl
    ongdoesi
    ttaket
    odot
    hewashi
    ng?
    ”

    Youheardri
    ght.Shei
    smakingmewashMbuso’
    sclot
    hes,wi
    thmyhands.I
    tbeat
    smewhyI
    haven’
    ttol
    dherwhoIam,Ihaveaf
    eel
    ingshewon’
    tbel
    iev
    emeevenifIdo.

    Me:
    “Kodwama,
    thewashi
    ngmachi
    newoul
    dhav
    ebeenf
    ast
    er.
    ”(But
    .)

    I
    ’m bendingov
    erthebathtub,scrubbi
    nghisjeans.Shethr
    ewthem atme,say
    ingtheywere
    greasyandhadtoughstai
    ns.I
    st hishowwomenwhoar emar
    riedt
    ot al
    lbi
    gbonedhusbands
    feelwhenhandwashingthei
    rclothes.Thi
    sispuretort
    ure.

    Her
    :“Uy
    akhononda?Ut
    heuf
    unaumsebenzi
    ,Sebenzakegi
    rl
    .”(
    Arey
    oucompl
    aini
    ng?Yousai
    d
    y
    ouwant
    edaj
    ob,
    youmustwor
    know.
    )

    Shecli
    ckshert
    onguebef
    orewal
    kingoutofthebat
    hroom,
    IheartheTV.She’
    swatchi
    ngt
    he
    news,t
    hisgi
    vesmetimetorunt
    omyr oom andcal
    lMbuso.Imustinf
    orm hi
    mthathi
    smotheri
    s
    her
    e,andisonapowertr
    ip.

    Heisnotansweri
    nghi
    sphone,Iwi
    l
    lnotdi
    alhi
    snumberagain.Iam notaboutt
    ogoal
    l‘
    gir
    lf
    ri
    end’
    onhim.Imightaswel
    lgof
    ini
    shtheworkIwasappoi
    ntedt
    o.

    DoIr
    eal
    l
    ylookl
    i
    keahousekeeper
    ?Ori
    shi
    smot
    heroneoft
    hosewomenwhoenj
    oyr
    epr
    essi
    on?

    Myphoner
    ingsasIwal
    kint
    othebat
    hroom,
    it’
    shi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Iwasdr
    ivi
    ngsoIcoul
    dn’
    ttakey
    ourcal
    l
    .Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Me:
    “Iam,
    ther
    e’sawomanher
    e.It
    hinkshe’
    syourmot
    her
    .”

    Hesi
    ghs,
    Ithi
    nkhe’
    sfr
    ust
    rat
    ed.

    Mbuso:
    “Whyi
    sshet
    her
    e?”

    Howam Isupposedt
    oknow?

    Me:
    “Shedi
    dn’
    ttel
    lme.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “No,
    Ijustt
    houghtoutl
    oud.
    ”

    Wei
    rd.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m out
    side,
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ouj
    ustnow.
    ”

    Whydidhecal
    lmeifhewasjustout
    side?Ihearv
    oicesdownst
    air
    s,he’
    sint
    hehouse.NowI
    don’
    tknowi
    fIshoul
    dcont
    inuewitht
    hisorleavei
    t,Ist
    il
    lhav
    etogotoSebokengHospi
    tal
    .

    “
    Lel
    o,l
    eav
    eal
    loft
    hatpl
    ease.
    ”

    It
    urnt
    ohisvoice.Whendidhegether
    e?Idi
    dn’
    thearhi
    m wal
    kupt
    hest
    air
    s?I
    tmustbebecause
    oft
    heloudscr
    ubbingofthej
    eans.

    That
    ’sr
    ight
    ,I’
    m usi
    ngabr
    ush.

    She’
    sal
    soher
    eandl
    ookspi
    ssed.

    Her
    :“Hai
    boMbuso,
    it’
    sherj
    obandt
    hisi
    showj
    eansar
    ewashedany
    way
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Ma,
    Lel
    oisnotahousekeeper
    .She’
    smyf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Heexpl
    ains,
    gent
    lyso.

    Her
    :“Ohh,
    ngempel
    a?”(
    Isi
    t?)

    Shelooksatmel
    i
    keIam cov
    eredi
    nfaeces,
    heropi
    nionofmedoesn’
    tmat
    terany
    way
    .Idon’
    t
    knowher.

    Mbuso:
    “Yesmom.
    ”
    Her:
    “Hay
    ikee,minaIthoughtshewast
    hehi
    redhel
    p.Shel
    ookst
    hepar
    tthoughso,
    youcan’
    t
    bl
    amemef orassuming.
    ”

    Shei
    sst
    il
    lhol
    dingt
    hatl
    ook,
    asshear
    ti
    cul
    ateswhatshet
    hinksofme.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,I
    ’
    m sor
    ryf
    oral
    loft
    his.
    ”

    Her:“
    Mbuso,
    Ididn’
    tknowt
    hatf
    ri
    endsoft
    heopposi
    tesexl
    i
    vet
    oget
    her
    .Ist
    her
    esomet
    hingI
    shoul
    dknow?”

    Ihopeshei
    snott
    hinki
    ngwhatIt
    hinkshei
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m hel
    pingoutaf
    ri
    endma.Am Inotal
    l
    owedt
    odot
    hat
    ?”

    Thi
    sisget
    ti
    ngawkwar
    d.

    Her:
    “Afri
    endwithbenefi
    ts,that
    ’swhaty
    ouy oungst
    erscal
    li
    tr i
    ght
    ?Howcany oubesocar
    eless
    Mbuso?Ingabeuyazazi
    izif
    o?You’readoct
    orforgoodness’sake.
    ”(Ar
    eyounotawar
    eof
    di
    seases?”

    Sheseemsconvi
    ncedbyherassumpt
    ions,
    Ineedapl
    acet
    ohi
    de.TosayIam hi
    ghl
    yof
    fendedi
    s
    anunder
    stat
    ement.

    Mbusohuf
    fs,
    ril
    edbyhi
    smot
    her
    ’spr
    edi
    cti
    ons.

    Mbuso:“Ma,
    youareembarr
    assingmyfr
    iend.Thisisthetwent
    yfir
    stcent
    ury,amananda
    womancanbefri
    endswit
    houtitmeani
    ngany t
    hing.IfIwashel
    pingaguyfri
    end,y
    ouwoul
    dn’
    tbe
    l
    iket
    his.
    ”

    Her
    :“Hay
    isuka.I
    t’
    snott
    hesameandy
    ouknowi
    t.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Doesdadknowt
    haty
    ou’
    reher
    e?”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esandcl
    i
    ckshert
    ongue.

    Her:“
    Ihav
    ealifemychi
    l
    d.Shoul
    dIbest
    rappedony
    ourf
    ather
    ’sbackal
    lthet
    ime?Ungazo
    bhedawena.
    ”(Don’
    tber
    idi
    cul
    ous.
    )

    Sher
    ipost
    es.

    Mbusogest
    urest
    hatIshoul
    dwal
    kout
    ,hi
    smot
    herwal
    ksawayf
    ir
    st.

    Mbuso:
    “Pl
    easedon’
    tmi
    ndher
    ,ol
    dagei
    snotki
    ndt
    oher
    .”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Whydoy
    ouhav
    esuchheav
    yjeans?
    ”

    It
    easeandhei
    ntr
    oducesal
    augh.

    Inot
    icet
    hathedoest
    hist
    hingofr
    ubbi
    ngt
    hebackofhi
    sneck,
    itcoul
    dbeduet
    oner
    vousness.

    Mbuso:
    “Hey
    ,thosear
    ethemostcomf
    ort
    abl
    ejeans.
    ”

    Me:
    “Andheav
    y.”
    Anot
    herl
    augh.

    Mbuso:
    “Hence,
    thewashi
    ngmachi
    ne.
    ”

    Headdsashel
    eadsmeoutoft
    hebat
    hroom.

    Mbuso:
    “Hav
    eyouhadbr
    eakf
    asty
    et?
    ”

    Me:
    “Yes,
    yourmi
    l
    kisof
    fbyt
    heway
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Yeah,
    thet
    hingi
    s,I
    ’
    m nev
    erhome.Don’
    ttel
    lmey
    ouat
    ecer
    eal
    wit
    hst
    alemi
    l
    k.”

    Me:
    “Wat
    er.
    ”

    Iconf
    ess,
    aswet oil
    sluggi
    shlydownthest
    air
    s.Hi
    smot
    heri
    sbackt
    owat
    chi
    ngt
    henews.She
    giv
    esmeal ookIcannotunderst
    and.

    Mbuso:
    “Tel
    lmey
    ou’
    rej
    oki
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Itwasn’
    tbad.
    ”

    Il
    i
    e.Icoul
    dn’
    tfi
    nishi
    tso,
    Idi
    sposedofi
    t.

    Mbuso:
    “Noway
    ,I’
    mtaki
    ngy
    ououtf
    orbr
    eakf
    ast
    .”

    Me:
    “Ican’
    t,
    Ihav
    etogot
    othehospi
    tal
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Why
    ?Isi
    tthebaby
    ?”

    Me:
    “No,
    Ihav
    etochecki
    fIst
    il
    lhav
    eaj
    ob.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Youwor
    katt
    hehospi
    tal
    ?Whi
    chone?
    ”

    Me:“Sebokengandno,Idon’
    tworkt
    her
    eyet.Iwasacceptedasani
    nterni
    nnur
    singandwas
    meanttoreportt
    oworkaf ewday
    sback.I
    ’
    m notsureifIsti
    l
    lhav
    ethejob.
    ”

    Iexpl
    ainmysadbor
    ingst
    ory
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Iwor
    katt
    hehospi
    tal
    too,
    I’
    m adoct
    or.
    ”

    Mr
    s.Xabadi
    dment
    iont
    hat
    .

    Me:“That
    ’sni
    cebut
    ,shoul
    dn’
    tyoubel
    i
    vingi
    nsomeni
    cebi
    ghouseorsomet
    hing?Whyan
    apar
    tment?”

    Hestopshal
    fwaydownthest
    air
    sandt ur
    nstolookatme.Judgi
    ngbyt
    hel
    ookonhi
    sface,
    I
    t
    hinkhedoesn’
    twanthi
    smothertohearwhathehastosay.

    Mbuso:
    “Iwor
    kforapr
    ivat
    epr
    act
    ice,
    it’
    snotr
    eal
    l
    ymaki
    ngmuchbut
    ,Il
    ovemyj
    ob.
    ”

    Hi
    swhi
    sper
    sconf
    ir
    m mysuspi
    cions.

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Iwhi
    sperback.
    Mbuso:
    “Icanhel
    pyouwi
    tht
    hati
    nter
    njob,
    youknow.
    ”

    Me:“Wel
    l,nowt hatyoutoldmey ou’
    readoctor,
    y esIknow.But
    ,youhavedoneenoughforme
    andIwanttodot hismyself.Ihavetolearntost
    andonmyownt wofeet
    .Ihav
    ebeenliv
    ing
    undermyfather’
    swi ngmywhol el i
    fethat
    ,Idi
    dn’thaveti
    met ol
    earnhowtoberesponsi
    ble.Thi
    s
    i
    smychance, thanksfortheof f
    erthough.”

    Heshr
    ugsandsmi
    l
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m st
    il
    ltaki
    ngy
    ououtf
    orbr
    eakf
    ast
    .”

    Hei
    nsi
    stsashecont
    inuesdownt
    hedownst
    air
    s.

    Me:
    “I’
    m okay
    .Iswear
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Wel
    l
    ,youmi
    ghtbeokaybut
    ,notGoku.
    ”

    If
    rownathi
    sret
    ort
    .

    Me:
    “Jesusf
    ixt
    his.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Her
    :“Di
    dn’
    tyourpar
    ent
    steachy
    ounott
    otakeGod’
    snamei
    nvai
    n?”

    Thi
    sismycue,
    Ican’
    ttol
    erat
    eherany
    mor
    e.

    I
    ’
    mreadyt
    oleav
    e,myhandi
    sal
    readygr
    iptont
    hedoorhandl
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “Maasambe.
    ”(Let
    ’sgo.
    )

    Her
    :“Gowher
    e?”

    She’
    sconf
    used.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    mtaki
    ngy
    oubackhomeMa,
    ther
    ewon’
    tbeany
    oneher
    etol
    ookaf
    tery
    ou.
    ”

    Idoubtshe’
    sreadyt
    oleav
    e.

    Her
    :“Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Mbuso:“You’
    rewr
    ong,
    Iam t
    aki
    ngy
    ouhome.Look,
    Idon’
    tmi
    ndy
    ouv
    isi
    ti
    ngmebut
    ,nowi
    snota
    goodti
    me.”

    Am Itheonlyonewhoisnoti
    cingt
    hisbi
    gel
    ephanti
    nther
    oom?Ihopeshedoesn’
    tthi
    nkI
    ’
    mthe
    reasonheistaki
    ngherbackhome.

    Shegi
    vesmeherf
    amousl
    ookagai
    n.

    Her
    :“Mbuso,
    Iwaspl
    anni
    ngonst
    ayi
    ngf
    oratl
    eastaweek.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Ist
    hatso?Wher
    ear
    eyourbagst
    hen?
    ”

    Shef
    oldsherar
    msacr
    ossherchest
    .
    Her
    :“Yourf
    atherwi
    l
    lbr
    ingt
    hem.
    ”

    Shest
    utt
    ersassheexpl
    ainsherabsentl
    uggage.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m notbuy
    ingi
    tma.
    ”

    That
    ’sar
    espect
    ful
    wayoft
    ell
    i
    nganadul
    tthatt
    heyar
    ely
    ing.

    Mbuso:
    “Iknowt
    hatol
    dmancannotst
    ayawayf
    rom y
    ou.Hewon’
    tlety
    ousl
    eepov
    erher
    e,l
    et
    al
    onest
    ayaweek.”

    Shesi
    ghs…

    Thei
    rrel
    ati
    onshi
    pisadmi
    rabl
    e,y
    oucant
    ell
    thatMbusohassomuchr
    espectf
    orhi
    smot
    her
    .

    STYLES*

    MaSont oshudder
    saf ewti
    mesbef oreshecomesbacktohersenses.AfterwhatIhavejust
    seen,Isti
    l
    lfi
    ndithar
    dt obel
    iev
    eit.Suchthi
    ngscannotbereal
    ,i
    nmyopi nion,Randal
    lwould
    rat
    herdiethanhavehisfat
    hercomeher e.I
    ’
    m atacrossr
    oadandwhat ev
    erIdecide,Ihopehe
    wil
    lcomet oforgi
    veme.

    Neo:
    “MaSont
    o?Keuenaeo?I
    sthedemongone?
    ”(I
    sthaty
    ou?
    )

    Howam If
    ri
    endswi
    tht
    hisman?

    MaSontoissti
    llt
    ryi
    ngt
    ogatherher
    selfup,Nkomogl
    aresatNeol
    i
    kehei
    scr
    azy
    .Neoshr
    ugshi
    s
    shoul
    ders,
    respondi
    ngtot
    heunpleasantlook.

    Neo:“Heeh!MntwanakaMkhi
    ze,
    nisi
    boni
    sani
    ent
    lekheh?Nt
    wekeengmar
    aguy
    s?”(
    Mkhi
    ze’
    s
    son.Whatarey
    oushowingus?Whati
    sthi
    s?)

    Hesaysashebringshi
    mselfup,Nkomoisl
    eftspeechl
    ess.HehelpsMaSont
    oupandt hat
    ’s
    whenLiy
    anarushesint
    otheroom,herey
    esfi
    ndherf at
    herfi
    rst
    .Sherunst
    ohim andj
    umpson
    t
    hebed.

    Neo:
    “Ei
    shsaan.
    ”

    Neoexpr
    essesashecar
    ri
    eshi
    shandsonhi
    shead.

    Iknowwhathemeans,
    thi
    sismessedup.

    Li
    yana:
    “Papa,
    wakeup.
    ”

    Thetoneonhervoiceshowst
    hatshedoesn’
    tknowwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon,
    alt
    hought
    heoxy
    genmask
    anddri
    pspeakvolumes.

    Me:
    “Li
    ya.
    ”

    Iambl
    etoher
    ,shedoesn’
    tlookatme.
    Li
    yana:
    “Wakeuppapa.
    ”

    Sheshr
    ugshi
    mvi
    gor
    ousl
    y,i
    tal
    mostseemsl
    i
    keRandal
    lwi
    l
    lopenhi
    sey
    esandsmi
    l
    eather
    .

    Me:
    “Li
    yacomewi
    thme.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “No.”

    Shescr
    eamswhenIt
    ryt
    otakeher
    .

    MaSont
    o:“
    Leav
    ethechi
    l
    d.”

    Shei
    nst
    ruct
    s,Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hewayshe’
    slooki
    ngather
    .

    Li
    yana:“Papawakeup.Whyar
    eyounotmov
    ing?Yousai
    dyouwi
    l
    lcomebackf
    orme.Why
    di
    dn’ty
    oucomeback? ”

    Hermi
    ndhasconv
    eyedt
    hemessageast
    owhati
    sreal
    l
    yhappeni
    ng.

    That
    ’si
    t.

    Ican’
    ttaket
    hisany
    mor
    e,It
    akeheri
    nmyar
    msandshescr
    eams,
    thr
    owi
    ngat
    ant
    rum.

    Li
    yana:
    “No,
    Iwantmyf
    atheruncl
    eSt
    yles.Tel
    lhi
    mtowakeuppl
    ease.
    ”

    I
    t’
    sget
    ti
    nghar
    dert
    ocar
    ryherasshe’
    ski
    cki
    ngandf
    ight
    ingme.

    Nkomo:
    “St
    yles,
    Ithi
    nky
    oushoul
    dletherbe.
    ”

    Iputherbackont hebedandshel aysherheadonhischestcr


    ying,myhear
    tbreaksseei
    ngher
    l
    ikethi
    s.Khethustreaksin,shemakesagestureofapol
    ogywhensheseest hechagri
    nedlook
    onmyf ace.Thisissocarelessofher
    ,Chiomadashesinaft
    erher.Thel
    oudshrieksofLi
    yana
    musthavebr oughtherhere.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Li
    ya,
    comewi
    thme.
    ”

    Li
    yanaal
    l
    owsChi
    omat
    otakeher
    ,Khet
    huf
    oll
    owst
    hem ast
    heywal
    kout
    .

    Me:
    “It
    hinkev
    ery
    oneshoul
    dleav
    ether
    oom now.
    ”

    Ihav
    ehear
    denough.

    MaSonto:
    “Siyabonga,
    thatchi
    ldshoul
    dbetakentoherf
    ather
    ’sl
    and.Ican’
    tseeherf
    uture,
    kunet
    hunziel
    i
    mny amaelisi
    bekel
    ekonke.
    ”(Ther
    e’sadar
    kshadowthat’scl
    oudi
    ngeveryt
    hing.
    )

    Her
    eshegoesagai
    n.

    Neo:“
    MaSontooqalahape?Thatdemonwil
    lcomebackmoes, assebli
    eftuu,
    that
    ’senough
    bopor
    ofet
    avandag.
    ”(You’
    rest
    art
    ingagai
    n?Pl
    ease,
    that
    ’senoughpr opheci
    esfort
    oday.)

    Inev
    ert
    houghtIwoul
    dseeadaywhensomet
    hingsensi
    blewoul
    dcomeoutofhi
    smout
    h.

    Me:
    “Iagr
    eewi
    thNeo,
    please.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadwi
    thheri
    nhopest
    hatshewi
    l
    lunder
    stand.
    MaSont o:“
    Awukwazi ukubalekelaiqini
    soSiy abonga.Iam tell
    i
    ngy oual
    lofthisbecauseyouar e
    l
    ikeasecondf athertothatchild.Herfeetneedt okisst hesoi
    lwhereherfatherwasborn.Ifyou
    cannott akehert herenow, shisaizi
    nkuni,uthatheuml othauwusebenzi
    seemzi mbeni wakhe
    i
    zi nsukuezintathu.Shemustdr inkital
    so,mi xasmal lamounti nwarm waterandgiveher,doit
    fort hr
    eeday s.Thiswi l
    lprotectherfrom thedar kshadowt hatfol
    lowsher.
    ”(Youcan’trunaway
    from thetruth.)(Burnwood, taketheashesandappl yi tonherbodyforthr
    eeday s.
    )

    Idon’
    tbeli
    eveinthesethi
    ngsandIwil
    lnotbedoi
    ngwhatsheisi
    nst
    ructi
    ng,may
    beChi
    oma
    mightunderst
    andbut,not
    hingwi
    llbedonetoLi
    yanai
    nherfat
    her
    ’sabsence.

    Neo:“MaSonto,
    Obuakameri
    tiel
    efi
    finou?Thisi
    stoomuch,Li
    yanakengwanamaan.Ent
    lek
    hoetsahal
    angmoGhana?
    ”(Youaret
    alkingaboutdar
    kshadowsnow?Liy
    anaisachi
    ld.What
    ’s
    goi
    ngoni nGhana?
    )

    Nkomo:
    “Iadv
    iset
    haty
    out
    aket
    hisser
    iousSt
    yles.
    ”

    Me:“YouarethelastpersonIshoul
    dbeget t
    ingadv
    icef
    rom Nkomo,
    not
    hingwi
    l
    lbedonet
    othat
    chi
    l
    duntilherfat
    herregainsconsci
    ousness.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Dowhaty
    oumustbut
    ,don’
    tsayy
    ouwer
    enotwar
    ned.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ev
    ery
    onegetoutnow,
    yout
    ooNeo.Don’
    tev
    erpul
    lthi
    sst
    untagai
    n.”

    Hef
    rownsatmyf
    ingerpoi
    nti
    ngathi
    m.

    Neo:“
    Ulakangol
    aniSty
    los?Don’
    tsayInev
    erdi
    danyt
    hingfory
    ou,thi
    sismycutoffl
    i
    mi t
    .Doyou
    knowhowhar di
    tistofi
    ndaprophet
    ?Ihadtogot
    oHill
    browtocheckthosef
    lyer
    sonthest
    reet
    s.
    Heebozza,j
    yvegvirdi
    elewe.
    ”

    (
    Whyar
    eyouangr
    ySt
    yles?Youf
    ightf
    orl
    i
    fe.
    )

    He’
    sdr
    ivel
    l
    ingonaboutt
    hingst
    hatdonotmakesense.

    MaSonto:
    “NeoUmsebenzi
    wami
    uphel
    i
    le,
    theywi
    l
    ldeci
    dewhatt
    odonext
    .”(
    Myj
    obher
    eis
    done.
    )

    Sheannounces.

    Neo:“AiiMaSontolewena,
    warni
    ngnyanahor
    eutl
    oet
    elameea.Yazimot
    hooafeel
    a.Onshar
    te
    salstopman, ni
    eMaSonto,ni
    emaan.
    ”(MaSontoy
    oudon’
    twarnusthaty
    ou’
    regoi
    ngtovi
    sitt
    he
    spi
    rit
    s,youjustfal
    l
    .)

    Shelaughsasshefindshisstupidi
    tyf
    unny.Nkomolooksdef
    eat
    ed,Idon’
    tbl
    amehi
    m.May
    bewe
    needNeo’svi
    brantpersonal
    i
    tyrightnow,ever
    ythi
    ngseemssodarkandgl
    oomy.

    MaSont
    o:“
    Siy
    abonga.
    ”

    Ist
    opmysel
    ffr
    om shout
    ingather
    .Whydoesshef
    eel
    thatshehast
    her
    ightt
    ocal
    lmebyt
    hat
    name?

    Neo:“
    Entl
    ekkemangSiyabonga?Esal
    eureSiyabonga.Styl
    oskelekgoaMaSont
    o.Haat sebe
    l
    ethokabodarki
    e.”
    (WhoisSi
    yabonga?Youkeepsayingthatname.Sty
    lesi
    swhit
    e,hedoesn’t
    knowany
    thi
    ngaboutbl
    acks.
    )

    Nkomo:
    “Hay
    iNeo!Musty
    oul
    ovebei
    ngt
    hecent
    reofat
    tent
    ion?
    ”

    Neoscowl
    sathi
    m,shakeshi
    sheadandl
    aughs.

    Neo:“
    Nkomo, keatsebahor
    entateoahaukemoloi
    ,maraungangiphaphel
    i.Ngiphethe
    umaSontonou.Wenal eMkhi
    zeletl
    onyel
    asaan.
    ”(Iknowyourfat
    herisapower fulwizar
    d,but
    don’
    ttestme.Ihav
    eMaSont obymysidenow.YouandMkhizewillshi
    tyoursel
    ves.)

    Nkomo:
    “Youar
    eluckyIr
    espectMaSont
    o,onedayNeo.
    ”

    Neo:“EetsangonedayNkomo?Hai,
    ler
    atahobastari
    ng.Phol
    ant
    wana,
    tel
    lhi
    m St
    ylos.
    ”(What
    aboutoneday?Youactli
    keyouar
    ebett
    erthanme.Rel
    axboy.)

    Nkomochar
    gesathi
    m andher
    unst
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    ,hei
    sli
    keachi
    l
    d.

    Neo:
    “MaSont
    oasambe,
    honal
    emademoni
    mona.TheMkhi
    zeshav
    ecomeoutt
    opl
    ay.
    ”

    Heshout
    sfr
    om t
    hedoor
    ,MaSont
    otur
    nst
    ome.

    MaSont
    o:“
    Yourfri
    endwi
    llnevergi
    vemeachancet
    ospeak,
    youneedt
    ocomeseeme.Ther
    e
    ar
    ethi
    ngsIcan’
    tsaytoy
    oui nfr
    ontoft
    hem.
    ”

    Iwoul
    dsayIam dazedbyherwor
    dsbut
    ,Icannotf
    orcemy
    sel
    ftobel
    i
    evei
    nthi
    ngst
    hatdonot
    makesenset
    ome.

    Neo:“MaSont
    o,usenyanakoeahauleena.Hewil
    lnevercometoseeyou,
    he’
    sasci
    ent
    ist
    .He
    doesn’
    tbel
    iev
    eini
    siko.
    ”(You’
    rewast
    ingyourt
    imewithhim.)(
    Tradi
    ti
    on.
    )

    Neoi
    sri
    ght
    ,shei
    swast
    inghert
    ime.Shesmi
    l
    esatme.

    MaSont
    o:“
    Ther
    eissomuchy
    oudon’
    tknowSi
    yabonga,
    onedayy
    ouwi
    l
    llookf
    orme.
    ”

    Shet
    urnsandIwat
    chherasshewal
    ksaway
    ,leav
    ingmymi
    ndmuddl
    ed.

    Neo:
    “Nkomont
    wana,
    keat
    lahond.
    ”(Nkomoboy
    ,I’
    m comi
    ngdog.
    )

    Hey
    ell
    swi
    thast
    rai
    ghtf
    acebef
    oref
    oll
    owi
    ngMaSont
    oout
    ,Nkomogi
    vesnor
    eact
    iont
    ohi
    m.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    39*

    NTOMBI
    *

    Noonehassai dany t
    hingsi
    ncewecamebackf rom S’
    godi
    ’
    shouse,
    Ithinkweareall
    afrai
    dto
    confrontt
    hetrut
    h.AtleastIknowIam,IdoubtIhav
    eitinmet
    oquestionMoses.Petuni
    awent
    str
    aighttotheki
    tchen,she’
    scooki
    ngagain.HowmuchdoesMhambi eatany
    way ?

    Now,I’
    m start
    ingtothi
    nkshei scooki
    ngforhersel
    fandusesmybr ot
    herasanescapegoat.
    Thi
    smor ningshemadehi m breakf
    astwi
    thfoureggsandsixsl
    icesofbread,
    tothi
    nkMhambi
    wil
    lsaysomet hi
    ng.No,heatetohishear
    t’scontent
    .I’
    m onl
    yanursenotadoctor,
    thesepeopl
    e
    mustleavemyhousebef oretheysuckmedr y.

    Petuni
    a:“WeNtombi
    ,If
    orgott
    otel
    lyou.Thebr
    aai
    packi
    sfi
    nished,
    Ineedmoneyso,
    Icangot
    o
    themallandbuymor
    e.”

    Shest
    ri
    desintomyr
    oom wit
    houtknocki
    ngandsay
    sthi
    stome.HowdoIdeal
    wit
    hthi
    swoman?
    I
    t’
    sapityshe’
    smybrot
    her
    ’swif
    e.

    Me:“
    Ibraai
    packiphel
    il
    ePet
    uni
    angobay
    ouar
    eal
    way
    scooki
    ngupast
    orm asi
    fit
    ’sChr
    ist
    mas.
    ”
    (
    It
    ’sf
    ini
    shedbecause…)

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    You’
    recompl
    aini
    ngf
    orf
    ood?Haaawukahl
    eNt
    ombi
    .”(
    Stopi
    t.
    )

    Me:“I
    ncaseyouhaven’
    tnoti
    cedPet
    uni
    a,Iam t
    heonl
    ypersonbri
    ngi
    ngmoneyint
    othehouse.
    Mosesdoesnothi
    ngtohelpme,i
    t’
    sbadenoughnowthatIhav
    efourmout
    hstofeed,
    plus
    Jonaswhoisontheway.”

    Ihavebeenwanti
    ngtosaythis,
    Moseshashi
    ddent
    hatmoneyhegotf
    rom sel
    l
    ingAmar
    aof
    f.I
    haven’
    tseenacentofi
    t.Iknowhei
    snotaboutt
    ospendi
    tonme.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    ,i
    fyoudon’
    twantusi
    nyourhouse,
    sayi
    tandwewi
    l
    lleav
    e.”

    Sheshout
    s,It
    hinkshewant
    sMhambi
    tohearus.

    Me:“I
    fyouconti
    nuetoputwor
    dsinmymouth,maybeImightj
    ustsayi
    t.Thi
    nkwhat
    every
    ou
    wantPetuni
    a,t
    hefactoft
    hematt
    eri
    sangi
    nayoimali
    .”(
    Idon’
    thavemoney.)

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Manj
    euzodl
    ani
    uMhambi
    ?”(
    Whatwi
    l
    lMhambi
    eat
    ?)

    Par
    tofmebel
    i
    evest
    hat
    ’sal
    lshecar
    esabout
    ,feedi
    ngherhusband.

    Me:“
    I’
    m notbot
    heredaboutt
    hat,
    izi
    ntozimbisi
    si,
    wenaokukhat
    hal
    elay
    oyi
    braai
    pack.
    ”(Thi
    ngs
    ar
    ebadandallyoucar
    eaboutisabraaipack.
    )

    Pet
    unia:“
    Yeyi
    ,umyeni
    wamiuyenaengi
    mkhat
    hal
    elay
    o.YouknowMhambi
    doesn’
    teatr
    edmeat
    .”
    (Myhusbandi
    stheoneIcar
    eabout.
    )

    Sheshout
    sandIhav
    ehadi
    twi
    thher
    .
    Me: “
    Whataboutmyhusband?Idon’ tev
    enknowi fheissti
    ll
    aliv
    e,hl
    ukananamipansiPet
    unia.
    All
    youeverthinkaboutisfood,y
    ouhaven’tlef
    tmyki t
    chensinceyoucamehere.Ican’
    tmakea
    cupofteawithoutyoucrowdingmyspace, haiPetuni
    a.Askyourhusbandt
    obuildyouakit
    chen
    andstayoutofmi ne.Nxa!
    ”(Leavemealone.)

    Ishoutback,
    Ihav
    etot
    ell
    herwhathasbeeneat
    ingmeup.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ukhul
    umanami
    kanj
    aloNt
    ombi
    ?”(
    Youar
    etal
    ki
    ngt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?)

    Iguessshei
    stheonl
    yonewhoi
    sal
    l
    owedt
    orai
    seherv
    oice.

    Shet
    readst
    owar
    dsme,
    poi
    nti
    ngherf
    inger
    .Iseeasl
    apcomi
    ngandIt
    akeast
    epback.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    ,ngi
    theukhul
    umanami
    kanj
    alo?
    ”(Isai
    dar
    eyout
    alki
    ngt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .)

    Shegr
    abst
    hef
    ri
    ngeofmyj
    erseyandpul
    l
    smecl
    osert
    oher
    .

    Me:
    “Pet
    uni
    aleav
    emeal
    one.
    ”

    Iy
    ell.Thet
    rut
    hist
    hatIam af
    raidofher
    ,shecoul
    dbeatmet
    oapul
    pifI
    ’
    m notcar
    eful
    wit
    hmy
    wordsandMhambiwouldprobabl
    ycheerheron.

    Petuni
    a:“Whot
    hehel
    ldoy
    out
    hinky
    ouar
    ewenaNt
    ombi
    ?Ukhohl
    waukut
    hingi
    ngubani
    .”(
    You’
    re
    for
    gett
    ingwhoIam?)

    Me:
    “Ngi
    dedel
    ePet
    uni
    a.”(
    Letmego.
    )

    Iscr
    eam asIt
    ryt
    omov
    eawayf
    rom herbut
    ,hergr
    ipi
    stoot
    ight
    .

    Petuni
    a:“
    Ngi
    zokukhombisaabant
    unamuhl
    a,y
    ouwi
    l
    llear
    nhowt
    orespectpeopl
    e.”(
    Iwi
    l
    lshow
    youwhatIam madeoftoday.
    )

    Shethr
    owsmetothefl
    oor
    ,st
    raddl
    esmeandst
    art
    ssl
    appi
    ngmer epeat
    edl
    y.Al
    lI’
    m abl
    etodoi
    s
    scr
    eam andt
    ryt
    opushherof
    fme,ever
    ysl
    apbur
    nsmycheeks.

    “
    Pet
    uni
    awenzani
    ?”

    That’
    sMhambi he’
    spul
    li
    nghiswifeof
    fofmeandsomeonei
    shel
    pingmeup.Mybr
    aincomes
    backtoi
    tssensesandIseeJonas.

    Jonas:
    “Mnt
    asenguwel
    o?Il
    eav
    eforaf
    ewmont
    hsandy
    out
    urni
    ntoawr
    est
    ler
    ?”

    He’
    scr
    azy
    .

    Am It
    heonl
    yonewhocanseet
    hatPet
    uni
    aissi
    cki
    nthehead?

    AMARA*

    Thel
    astt
    hingIr
    ememberi
    stheacci
    dent
    ,Idon’
    tknowwhathappenednext
    .Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    sbl
    ank.

    I
    ’
    minahospi
    tal
    room andt
    her
    eist
    hisol
    dmanst
    andi
    ngonmybedsi
    de.Hei
    sst
    ari
    ngatmeand
    If
    indi
    twei
    rd.

    Hi
    m:“
    Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”

    Isenseabi
    tofconcer
    ninhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Hi
    m:“
    Nodi
    fyouar
    eokayandr
    aisey
    ourhandi
    fyou’
    renot
    .”

    Whyishesayingthat
    ?I t
    ’snotli
    keIhavel
    ostmyvoi
    ce,
    I’
    m notsay
    inganythi
    ngbecauseIdon’
    t
    knowhim.Myt hr
    oatthough,feel
    sdry,
    adropofwat
    erwouldbeni
    ce.Il
    ickmyli
    ps,wipi
    ngout
    theev
    idenceofdehydrati
    on.

    Thepai
    nswampi
    ngmybody
    ,makesmedesi
    redeat
    hsobad.

    Hi
    m:“
    Shoul
    dIcal
    ladoct
    or?
    ”

    Il
    ookaway
    ,hei
    sast
    rangerandIhav
    en’
    thadmuchl
    uckwi
    thst
    ranger
    slat
    ely
    .

    Hedr
    awsadeepshudder
    ingbr
    eat
    he.

    Ifeel
    apri
    ckofresent
    mentt
    owar
    dsany
    onewhohasev
    ercal
    l
    edmef
    ami
    l
    y.Whati
    sfami
    l
    y
    anyway?Whati
    slove?

    All
    thesethi
    ngsareafaçadet
    hatfat
    ethr
    owsatusso,
    weacceptt
    hisappal
    l
    ingt
    hingwecal
    ll
    if
    e.
    Iam evenashamedthatGodseesmeinthi
    sdar
    kworl
    d.

    Whyar
    ewegi
    venpeopl
    etol
    ovewi
    thoutl
    i
    mit
    s,i
    ftheywi
    l
    lbet
    akenawayf
    rom us?

    Suchcr uel
    tyt
    odelicat
    efragil
    eheart
    s,humansaremeanttobehandl
    edwit
    hcare.But,
    hereIam,
    beingthrownaroundbylif
    easi fIwi
    llnotbr
    eak.Deat
    hisal
    sonotl
    ivi
    nguptoi
    tspurpose,
    ithas
    provedt omethatisafeebleenemy.

    “Ohdeathwher
    eisyoursti
    ng?Youhav
    ebeendecl aredpower
    less,
    youhavebecomeamocker
    y
    andasham.Ichal
    lengeyouonthi
    sdaythaty
    out akemeasy ourown,i
    fli
    fecont
    inuest
    o
    redi
    cul
    eme.Icannotbeprecl
    udedbyl
    if
    eandy ou.”

    “
    Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”

    It
    urnt
    otheol
    dmanashebawl
    satme.If
    ail
    tounder
    standwhathei
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    ?

    Hi
    m:“
    Arey
    out
    est
    ingdeat
    h?”

    Hebar
    ks,
    soundi
    ngannoy
    ed.

    Di
    dIsayt
    hatoutl
    oud?

    Mymi
    ndhasdonei
    tagai
    n,conspi
    ri
    ngagai
    nstmewi
    thmymout
    h.

    Hi
    m:“
    Whatt
    hehel
    li
    syourpr
    obl
    em?Doy
    ouknowhowl
    uckyy
    ouar
    etobeal
    i
    ve?
    ”

    Idon’
    tfeel
    lucky
    .

    Hi
    m:“
    Whatsaneper
    sonwoul
    dwi
    shdeat
    hupont
    hemsel
    ves?
    ”

    Hecont
    inuesbar
    king,
    annoy
    ingt
    hehel
    loutofme.Ihav
    enowor
    dsf
    orhi
    m andIdon’
    tcar
    ewhy
    hei
    sher
    eorwhohei
    s.Thenur
    sedar
    tsi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    shedoesn’
    tlookhappy
    .

    Nur
    se:
    “Si
    r,pl
    easekeepi
    tdown.Thi
    sisahospi
    tal
    ,ther
    ear
    emanypat
    ient
    sher
    e.”

    Shecoospol
    i
    tel
    y.

    Iam act
    ual
    l
    ynott
    heonl
    yonei
    nthi
    swar
    dandt
    hisol
    dmani
    scausi
    ngascene.

    Hi
    m:“
    Hay
    isuka.
    ”

    Herugshi
    shandatherandlooksatmeasheisreadyt
    osaysomet
    hing.Hi
    sey
    esbuckf
    ora
    minut
    eandwit
    hanangrylookheturnsandwal
    ksaway.

    Nur
    se:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Herwar
    m smi
    l
    efi
    l
    lsherf
    ace.Inod.

    Iam notokayt
    hough.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Iknowwhathappened,
    atl
    eastIt
    hinkknowbut
    ,Ineedt
    oheari
    tfr
    om someonewhoi
    sst
    abl
    e.

    Nur
    se:
    “Youwer
    einacaracci
    dent
    ?Amanbr
    oughty
    ouher
    e?Don’
    tyour
    ememberany
    thi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Thememor
    yisv
    ague.Whoi
    sthatol
    dman?
    ”

    Myquest
    ionseemst
    osur
    pri
    seherassheshoot
    smeadumbf
    oundedl
    ook.

    Nur
    se:
    “Ishenoty
    ourf
    ather
    ?”

    Me:
    “No,
    Ihav
    enev
    erseenhi
    minmyl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Sheshr
    ugs.

    Mywor
    ldmi
    ghtbecol
    l
    idi
    ngbut
    ,Iknowt
    hatst
    ranger
    sar
    enotper
    mit
    tedt
    oseepat
    ient
    s.

    Me:
    “MayIpl
    easeusey
    ourphone.
    ”

    Ineedt
    ocal
    lLel
    oandi
    nfor
    m herofmywher
    eabout
    s.

    Nur
    se:
    “Sor
    rysi
    sibut
    ,it
    ’sagai
    nstt
    her
    ules.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,wher
    ecanIf
    indone?
    ”

    Shegivesani
    mpressiont
    hatsheisnotcomf
    ortabl
    ewit
    hthi
    sconv ersat
    ion,
    shetur
    nstolookat
    theentr
    ancet
    hen,backatme.Ifi
    ndherdemeanourqui
    etst
    range,
    y ouwouldthi
    nkthatIam i
    n
    bondageagai
    nandunderstr
    ictwatch.

    Sheshr
    ugsbef
    orest
    reaki
    ngoutoft
    hewar
    d,l
    eav
    ingmeconf
    oundedandhur
    t.

    Over
    whelmedbylif
    e’sendeav
    our
    s,If
    eel
    apenet
    rat
    ingdesol
    ati
    on.I
    t’
    smashi
    ngmysoul
    ,not
    pr
    omisi
    ngabettertomorrow.

    Myhear
    tspl
    i
    nter
    sast
    het
    houghtofRandal
    lcomest
    omi
    nd,
    it’
    sst
    il
    lsohar
    dtobel
    i
    evet
    hathei
    s
    gone.I
    tall
    feel
    sli
    keadream,Icanst
    il
    lseet
    hel
    ookonhisfacebef
    orehewasshot
    .Foronl
    y
    thatgi
    venmoment,If
    eltl
    i
    keImatter
    edandmaybesomeonewouldfi
    ghtf
    orme.

    I
    nhisl
    astmoments,
    heonlycaredaboutmeandmysaf
    ety
    ,Iwonderwhati
    tisabouthi
    mthat
    hi
    sdemisemakesmefeel
    likeIcan’
    tbreat
    he.

    Iguessmyhateforhi
    m shr
    oudedmymi ndandnow,
    all
    Iwantistoseehi
    sface.Justonemor
    e
    ti
    me, may
    bemyquestionswil
    lbeanswered.May
    bemyuncer
    tai
    nti
    eswil
    lbeclear
    ed.Andmaybe
    thi
    sdarkhol
    einsi
    demewi l
    lbefi
    ll
    ed.

    STYLES*

    Idi
    dn’
    twanttol eavethehouse,l
    estRandal
    lwakesup.Khet
    hu’sfat
    hercanbedi
    ffi
    cul
    t,het
    hinks
    hecancontr
    ol mel i
    kehecontrol
    sthosecockroacheswhoworkforhi
    m.Heinsi
    stedt
    hatImeet
    hi
    m atthepol
    icest at
    ion,
    itgotmethinki
    ngthoughthat,
    maybemypasthascomebackt ohaunt
    me.Thenagain,it’
    simpossibl
    ebecauseRandallandIal
    wayscl
    eanup.

    Afterwefi
    ndAmaraandMkhizehasbeendeal
    twit
    h,wehavetostepawayfr
    om t
    hisl
    if
    e,leavi
    ng
    thehouseever
    ydayandnotknowi
    ngifyouwil
    lcomebackbecausether
    eisabul
    l
    etoutthere
    withyournameoni
    t.

    I
    ’
    m si
    tt
    ingi
    nMr
    .Dl
    adl
    a’
    sof
    fi
    ce,
    hesummonsmet
    henmakesmewai
    t.

    “
    Sishi
    .”

    Heutt
    ersashewal ksinandclosesthedoorbehindhim,Istandandstr
    etchmyhandouttohim.
    Hescrut
    ini
    zesi
    t-huffs,t
    henwalksaroundthesmal lwoodentablel
    eav
    ingmehanging.Thi
    sis
    pr
    oofthatwewil
    lnev erbefr
    iendsandtheonlythingwehavei ncommoni sKhet
    hu.

    Itur
    ntohi
    m ashedrawsouta.
    23cal
    ibergun,
    heloadsitandpl
    acesi
    tont
    het
    abl
    e,t
    hebar
    rel
    faci
    ngmydir
    ect
    ion.Twocanpl
    ayt
    hatgamebut ,
    Iwil
    lnotgiv
    ein.

    Hegesturesmetot
    akeasit
    ,Igl
    areathi
    scol
    dface.Ican’
    tfi
    gur
    eouthi
    sfaci
    alexpr
    essi
    on,
    exceptf
    orthegl
    owerhe’
    saddr
    essi
    ngmewi t
    h.

    Lei
    sur
    elyandwithmyey
    esgl
    uedonhi
    m,Iset
    tl
    eont
    hemet
    alst
    ool
    .Het
    akeshi
    sti
    mebut
    ,
    ul
    ti
    matelysi
    ts.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Howi
    smydaught
    er?
    ”

    Hecoul
    dhav
    easkedmet
    hisov
    ert
    hephoneorcal
    l
    edherr
    ather
    .

    Me:
    “Youspoket
    ohert
    hismor
    ning,
    youshoul
    dknowhowshei
    s.”

    Hi
    sey
    esshootupi
    nshock.

    Dladl
    a:“
    Ihaveal
    way
    sfoundy
    ourar
    roganceappal
    l
    ing.I
    tst
    il
    lbaf
    fl
    esmeast
    owhatmydaught
    er
    sawinyou.
    ”
    Ihuf
    fandhef
    rownsatme.

    Me:
    “Whyam Iher
    ecommi
    ssi
    oner
    ?”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lwear
    ingt
    hescowl
    onhi
    sface.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Whatdoy
    ouwantwi
    thmywi
    feSi
    shi
    ?”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notsur
    eIf
    oll
    ow.
    ”

    Dladl
    a:“
    You’
    reasmartmanSishi
    ,surel
    y,youcannotst
    allt
    hisconv
    ersat
    ion.Webot
    hhav
    e
    thi
    ngstodo,
    right
    ?So,gett
    othepointandtel
    lmewhaty ouwantwithmywi f
    e.”

    Iam noti
    nti
    midat
    edbyhi
    m atal
    l
    ,ift
    hat
    ’swhathet
    hinks.

    Me:“Mr.Dl
    adl
    a,youaretheonewhoseemstobestal
    li
    ngthisconver
    sat
    ion.Ihavenoi
    deawhyI
    am her
    eandfrom whatIhaveconcl
    uded,
    youwantt
    oplaytheguessi
    nggame. ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Don’
    tpl
    aysmar
    twi
    thmeboy
    ,Inev
    erl
    i
    kedy
    ouandInev
    erwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yourpoi
    nt?
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Mypoi
    nti
    sthatIdonotl
    i
    key
    ouf
    ormydaught
    er.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youcoul
    dhav
    etol
    dmet
    hisov
    ert
    hephone.Whydi
    dyouhav
    etocal
    lmeher
    e?”

    Hesni
    gger
    scol
    dly
    .

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Iheary
    ouhav
    ebeensnoopi
    ngar
    oundSi
    shi
    .”

    Me:
    “Enl
    i
    ght
    enme.
    ”

    Hest absatmewithablackstar
    e,reachesouthishandandl
    ugsthegunt
    owardshim.Hi
    s
    foref
    ingeri
    sonthetr
    iggerandhiseyesaresti
    llonme,myunshri
    nki
    ngatt
    it
    udeappear
    stobe
    pissi
    nghim of
    f.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Youbl
    atantbast
    ard.
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Thi
    swaterandoi
    lrel
    ati
    onshi
    pisprobabl
    ywhatmakesmewantKhet
    huev
    enmor
    e,Iwi
    l
    lpr
    ove
    toDl
    adl
    athatIam goodenoughf
    orhisdaught
    er.

    Me:“
    Commissioner
    ,whenyourdaughtert
    oldmethat,
    youwanttoseeme.Shef
    orgott
    o
    ment
    iont
    hatyouwillbedi
    shi
    ngoutinsult
    s.Am It
    hatbadofaperson?
    ”

    Hi
    sfor
    eheadcr
    eases.

    Me:
    “Car
    eful
    wit
    hthatf
    urr
    ow,
    youmi
    ghtev
    ent
    ual
    l
    yhav
    eaper
    manentsur
    pri
    sedl
    ook.
    ”

    Ist
    ate,I
    ’mtir
    edofhi
    sat
    ti
    tude.Her
    aisest
    hegun,
    poi
    nti
    ngi
    tatme.Ihav
    eagoodmi
    ndt
    owal
    k
    outofhere.

    Dladla:“
    YouknowIcanshooty
    our
    ightnowandcr
    ysel
    f-
    def
    ence?Youar
    einmygr
    oundsSi
    shi
    ,
    anythingispossi
    ble?
    ”
    Me:
    “Thi
    sisget
    ti
    ngbor
    ingMr
    .Dl
    adl
    a.Whyam Iher
    e?”

    Iinqui
    renotshowi
    ngf
    earorhesi
    tat
    ioni
    nthef
    aceofdanger
    ,hepl
    acest
    hegunbackont
    he
    table.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Iwantal
    lthei
    nfor
    mat
    iony
    ougat
    her
    edonmywi
    fe.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thati
    snotgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.
    ”

    Hemustbecr
    azyi
    fhet
    hinksIwi
    l
    ldot
    hat
    .

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Doy
    ouknowhowmuchi
    twi
    l
    ldest
    royKhet
    hui
    fthet
    rut
    hwer
    etocomeout
    .”

    Me:
    “Iam notcar
    eless,
    Khet
    huwi
    l
    lnev
    erf
    indoutaboutt
    his.
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Whydi
    dyougoar
    oundsnoopi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Oner
    easononl
    y,t
    opr
    otectt
    hewomanIl
    ove.
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Hav
    ingt
    het
    rut
    hri
    ghtunderhernose,
    ispr
    otect
    ingher
    ?”

    Me:
    “Li
    keIsai
    dMr
    .Dl
    adl
    a,Iam notcar
    eless.Unl
    essy
    ourwi
    fecr
    acksandspi
    l
    lst
    hebeans.
    ”

    Iexcl
    aim.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Iwi
    l
    lnev
    eral
    l
    owt
    hatt
    ohappen.
    ”

    Me:
    “Good.
    ”

    Ipusht
    hechai
    rbackasIgetup.

    Me:
    “Iguesswear
    edoneher
    e.”

    Ipr
    edi
    ctandwal
    kout
    ,notgi
    vi
    nghi
    m achancet
    oinsul
    tmeanyf
    urt
    her
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    40*

    STYLES*

    Neo:“
    Bozzauhokae?Ot samai
    l
    enakoet el
    ele,
    youknowyoushouldneverl
    eaveabeauti
    ful
    womanlikeKhet
    hualonehonalebathobatsoanangl
    eNkomo.”(Whereareyou?Youhave
    beengonefort
    oolong.
    )(Whenther
    earepeopleli
    keNkomo.
    )

    I
    ’
    mtheonewhocal
    l
    edhi
    m but
    ,hedoesn’
    tgi
    vemeachancet
    ospeak.

    Me:
    “Youmeanpeopl
    eli
    key
    ou.
    ”

    Neo:
    “ St
    ylos,u’
    skaechunnadaaidi
    ng.Ketsoanalebr
    otheroahau,
    angekengi
    kudlei
    thende.
    )
    (
    Don’tdot hatSt
    yles,
    Iam l
    i
    keyourbrot
    her
    .Iwill
    neversnatchy
    ourwomanfrom you.
    ”

    Ibel
    i
    evehi
    m but
    ,hei
    sst
    il
    lst
    upi
    d.

    Me:
    “IfIam l
    i
    key
    ourbr
    othert
    hen,
    Khet
    hui
    syoursi
    ster
    .”

    If
    li
    nchathi
    shi
    gh-
    pit
    chedv
    oice.

    Neo:“Thedev
    ili
    sal
    i
    ar,
    abomi
    nat
    ion.St
    ylosnomaan.Uj
    oangmar
    ahee!
    ”(What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    th
    you?
    )

    Me:“Iam wat
    chi
    ngy
    ouNeo,
    stayawayf
    rom Khet
    hu.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lInnocent
    iaandt
    ell
    herwhat
    you’
    redoi
    ng?”

    Neo:“
    Eish,
    whyot
    lamehahoi
    nvol
    v-abat
    hobabangbozza.
    ”(Whymusty
    oui
    nvol
    veot
    her
    peopl
    e?)

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Meetmeatt
    her
    anki
    nfi
    ft
    eenmi
    nut
    es.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Whi
    chr
    ankbozza?Usuhambaamar
    anknou?
    ”(You’
    regoi
    ngt
    oranksnow?
    )

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ocheckt
    hatl
    ead,
    Imi
    ghtneedbackup.Br
    ingNkomowi
    th.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh,
    arey
    ousur
    ehor
    erekat
    s’epal
    eret
    eeaMkhi
    ze?(
    Arey
    ousur
    ewecant
    rusthi
    m?

    Me:“Nkomocoul
    dbeouronl
    yhopeNeo,
    heisMkhize’
    ssonaf
    teral
    l
    .Iknowt
    hehospi
    tal
    is
    heav
    il
    yguar
    dedso,i
    twon’
    tbeeasyt
    ogetint
    her
    e.”

    Neo:“Thatmakessensebozzamar
    a,It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dcheckt
    hecoastf
    ir
    st,
    wecan’
    tjust
    at
    tackoutofthebl
    ue.”

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    thatsonofabi
    tchMkhi
    zehaspr
    ovedt
    obesmar
    t.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Mkhi zeisnotassmartashewantsustot
    hink,sekaoamofacredi
    t.I
    t’
    sthatI
    tali
    anshi
    t
    headFranco.Yesi
    s,Ist
    il
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    evethathemanagedtogeti
    ntooga’
    shouse.
    ”(Don’tgi
    vehi
    m
    cr
    edi
    t.
    )

    Me:
    “Ismel
    lar
    atNeo,
    thi
    shasOl
    i
    via’
    sfi
    ngerpr
    int
    sal
    lov
    er.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Butwhywoul
    dshedot
    hat
    ?”

    Me:
    “Rev
    enge.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh!Basadi
    bamakgoa.
    ”(Whi
    tewomen.
    )

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoudonewi
    tht
    hatt
    ask?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Thecamer
    ashav
    ebeeni
    nst
    all
    edal
    lar
    oundt
    hehousebozza.
    ”

    Me:
    “Good,
    I’
    vegott
    ogo,
    I’
    m att
    hehospi
    tal
    now.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Don’
    tgoi
    nSt
    ylos,
    thatmonkeywi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyou.
    ”

    Me:“Ihav
    eapl an,
    rel
    ax.Besi
    des,
    Ican’
    twai
    tfory
    ou.Neoy
    out
    alkt
    oomuch,
    you’
    resupposedt
    o
    behereal
    readybut…”

    Neo:“
    Eish!WhenIheart
    hatsl
    ogan,
    onkgopot
    sa007.Ar
    e,Ihav
    eapl
    an.
    ”(Your
    emi
    ndmeof
    JamesBond.)

    Hemi
    micsmyv
    oice.

    Neo:
    “Fi
    l
    lmei
    nbozza.
    ”

    Me:
    Let
    ’sj
    ustsay
    ,Iknowsomeonewhowor
    ksatasnakepar
    k.”

    Ichor
    tl
    eatmypl
    an.

    Neo:“
    Ebeubatl
    ahoreket l
    emoo?Kegr andStyl
    os,nnahaketl
    e,Nkomootl
    atl
    a.I
    ’
    m sureore
    t
    loaet
    sel
    int
    hotseo.Taimalahaekemoloimoes.”(Thenyouwantmetocomet
    here?I
    ’
    m okay,
    Nkomowill
    come.Hei susedtothem.Hisf
    atheri
    sawi t
    ch.)

    Me:
    “Fi
    ne,
    tel
    lhi
    mtomeetmeatt
    her
    ank.Wena,
    justwat
    chov
    erRandal
    lokay
    .”

    Neo:
    “Uabuanou.
    ”(Nowy
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ng.
    )

    Hest
    art
    slaughi
    ngandIcan’
    tfi
    ndar
    easonbehi
    ndhi
    sst
    upi
    dgi
    ggl
    e.

    Me:
    “Shar
    ethej
    oke.
    ”

    Neo:“Eybozzaus’kakwataneh.Kenekenahanahor emmeoahaudr oopedyouatbir


    th.Phel
    a
    wenaoahl anya.You’
    reapsychoStyl
    os,Li
    nohabozza?Aiikebosat
    anebozza.”(
    Don’
    tbeangry
    boss,Iwasthinki
    ngthaty
    ourmot herdr
    oppedyouatbir
    th.Youarecr
    azy,deal
    i
    ngwithsnakes.
    That’
    ssatanicboss.)

    Hegi
    bber
    s.

    Neotendstojabbert
    hatsomet
    imeshecr
    ossest
    hel
    i
    mit
    ,thi
    sisasensi
    ti
    vet
    opi
    candIwi
    l
    lnot
    engageini
    t.
    KHETHU*

    I
    ’m si
    tt
    ingonthekit
    chencounterwatchi
    ngChi
    omaprepar
    esupper,Li
    yanai
    ssleepingi
    nher
    room.Poorchi
    ld,
    shecrieseveryti
    meshewakesup.I
    t’
    ssadthatshehastogothroughthi
    s,
    Styl
    esfor
    bidmefrom call
    i
    ngOl i
    vi
    a.

    Me:
    “Yourf
    oodsmel
    l
    sni
    ceChi
    oma.
    ”

    Shegi
    vesmeawar
    m smi
    l
    e.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Neor
    equest
    edi
    t,hesai
    dhewant
    stoeatl
    i
    keachi
    ef.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Hesai
    dthat
    ?”

    Shenods,
    smi
    l
    ingst
    il
    l.

    Me:
    “Whyam Inotsur
    pri
    sed?Hei
    ssomet
    hingel
    se.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.
    ”

    Ther
    eissomet
    hingIhav
    ebeenmeani
    ngt
    oaskherandi
    t’
    sbot
    her
    ingme.

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “You’
    rewonder
    ingaboutt
    hatwomant
    hatwasher
    e?”

    Shepr
    edi
    cts.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouknow?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Ican’
    tst
    opt
    hinki
    ngabouthert
    ooandwhyshewasbr
    oughther
    e.”

    Me:
    “Doy
    out
    hinkRandal
    l
    ’si
    ssuei
    sspi
    ri
    tual
    ?”

    Shecl
    osest
    hepotandt
    urnst
    ofaceme,
    thel
    ookofwor
    ryappar
    entonherf
    ace.

    Chioma:“I
    tcr
    ossedmymindandit’
    spossible,
    Randal
    li
    sver
    ymy ster
    ious.Iwoul
    dn’
    tsaythatI
    tr
    ulyknowhim,hehasal
    waysbeenclosed.SameasStyl
    es,
    theyletmeknowwhatt heyf
    eltI
    neededtoknow.”

    Me:
    “Somet
    hingi
    sdef
    ini
    tel
    yupChi
    oma,
    didy
    ouseehowt
    hatwomanwasl
    ooki
    ngatLi
    yana?
    ”

    I
    tmademyhear
    tdr
    op,
    shel
    eer
    edatherasi
    fshewasi
    ndangerorsomet
    hing.

    Chioma:“
    Idi
    dandIdi
    dn’
    tli
    keit
    ,wehav et
    ogoseeherandfi
    ndoutwhati
    sreal
    lygoingon?
    Thesemenwill
    nev
    ertel
    lusanyt
    hingandwecan’
    treal
    l
    ygri
    l
    lthem,ast
    heyareengrossedon
    fi
    ndingAmar
    a.”

    Shesmashesherhandonhermout
    h,seal
    i
    ngi
    tasi
    fanabomi
    nat
    ionescapedoutofi
    t.

    Me:
    “Who?
    ”
    Sheswi
    ft
    lyt
    urnsandopensthesteamingpot
    ,herey
    eshi
    dingf
    rom me.Thi
    swomancannot
    maskasecr
    et,ev
    enifshewantedto.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sAmar
    aChi
    oma?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Di
    dIsayAmar
    a?”

    Shequest
    ionswi
    thoutl
    ooki
    ngatme.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Iwast
    hinki
    ngaboutt
    hisshowt
    hatIwaswat
    chi
    ngt
    oday
    .”

    She’
    sly
    ingt
    ome.

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma,
    yousai
    dtheyar
    elooki
    ngf
    orAmar
    a.Whoi
    ssheandwhyar
    etheyl
    ooki
    ngf
    orher
    ?”

    “
    IfIknewther
    ewer
    ebeaut
    if
    ulwomenint
    hiskit
    chen,Iwoul
    dhav
    ecomeher
    eal
    ongt
    imeago.
    Whoeversai
    dmendonotbel
    ongi
    ntheki
    tchenisafool.
    ”

    WeturntoNeo’
    sloudv
    oice,
    hesmi
    l
    esandy
    oucan’
    thel
    pbutsmi
    l
    eback.Hi
    ssmi
    l
    eis
    cont
    agious.

    Neo:
    “Ndl
    ovukazi
    ,l
    ewenamama.
    ”(Queenandy
    out
    ooma.
    )

    Hegreet
    s,asheappr
    oaches.Wer
    espondwi
    thbeams.Het
    akesmyhandandki
    ssesi
    tandIl
    et
    hi
    m because…i
    t’
    sNeo.

    Neo:“
    HowistheQueendoing?Styl
    osotl
    ohetseol
    emong?Cabanganj
    e,bannababangba
    dom maan.
    ”(St
    ylesl
    efty
    oualone?Imagi
    ne,
    somemenarestupi
    d.)

    Thi
    sist
    hepar
    twher
    eIshoul
    dbeof
    fendedbut
    ,thewayhesay
    siti
    ssof
    unnyso,
    Ilaugh.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lmakesur
    etopassont
    hemessaget
    ohi
    m.”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    Neo:“
    Yeah,mojoet
    se.Hakemot sabe.Youseeify
    ouweremywoman,
    Iwoul
    dcar
    ryy
    ouonmy
    headandtakey
    oueverywher
    eIgo.”(Tel
    lhi
    m,I’
    m notaf
    rai
    dofhi
    m.)

    Ther
    eisdef
    ini
    tel
    ynot
    hingwr
    ongwi
    thwhathej
    ustsai
    d,atl
    eastI
    ’
    llpr
    etendt
    hati
    t’
    snor
    mal
    .

    Me:
    “Whyam Ibei
    ngcar
    ri
    edony
    ourhead,
    ifImayask?
    ”

    Hi
    sfacel
    i
    ght
    sup.

    Neo:“I
    sthatevenaquest
    ion?You’
    reabeauti
    ful
    woman, Imustshowyouofft
    otheworld.Mara
    St
    yles,
    keDr acul
    a,ot
    samaeaaleonesetlael
    ase.”(
    Sty
    lesisal
    way st
    rav
    ell
    i
    ngalone,
    thatfool
    .)

    Chi
    omanudgesmeasIt
    hrowmyheadbackandl
    augh,
    Ican’
    thel
    pit
    .Neoi
    sani
    diotandi
    t’
    s
    amusi
    ng.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Wi
    l
    lyousayt
    hati
    nhi
    sface?
    ”

    Hepucker
    satherquest
    ion.

    Neo:
    “Ahahmama,
    Ial
    mostf
    orgoty
    ou’
    reher
    e.”
    Shesmilesandrol
    lshereyes.Neoki
    ssesheront
    hecheekandpul
    lsheri
    ntoashor
    thug,
    he
    opensherpotsoneatatimeashedipshisheadi
    n,sni
    ff
    ingi
    nthearoma.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Hey
    ,peopl
    ear
    egoi
    ngt
    oeatt
    hat
    .”

    Shesl
    apshi
    shandsandhet
    it
    ter
    s.

    Neo:
    “Mama,
    hungerdeyt
    earmybel
    l
    e.Iwanchop.
    ”(I
    ’
    m hungr
    y,Iwantt
    oeat
    .”

    Hesay
    sinaNi
    ger
    ianaccent
    ,I’
    m compl
    etel
    ylost
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Naso?
    ”(I
    sthatso?
    )

    Neo:
    “Yesmama.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Youwantmyf
    oodbut
    ,youdi
    dn’
    tgr
    eetme.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ahahmama,
    howna?
    ”(Howar
    eyou?
    )

    Chi
    oma:
    “Iam noty
    ourf
    ri
    endNeo,
    greetmewi
    thr
    espect
    .”

    Neo:
    “Mamawet
    inwahal
    ana?Not
    inspoi
    l
    ?”(
    Whati
    sthepr
    obl
    em?Al
    li
    swel
    l
    ?)

    Chiomashakesherheadanddeci
    dingtoi
    gnor
    ehi
    m,shet
    akesal
    lherf
    ocusbackont
    hepot
    s.
    That’
    sNeo,hecanbedrai
    ningsometi
    mes.

    Neo:
    “Maaamaaa.
    ”

    Hehums…

    Chi
    omai
    ssul
    ki
    ng,
    thi
    sishowt
    heyar
    e.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    whoi
    sAmar
    a?”

    Mymindkeepsponder
    ingar
    oundthatnameandt hi
    sismychancetoaskplus,
    I’
    m ki
    ll
    i
    ngt wo
    bi
    rdswi
    thonestonebysavi
    ngchi
    omaf rom hi
    snagging.Orel
    se,
    hewil
    lnev
    erstoptal
    king.

    Neo:
    “Whati
    sthat
    ?Kemot
    ho?
    ”(I
    sitaper
    son?
    )

    Hefrownsatmeashesays,
    Icanal
    mostbel
    iev
    ethathedoesn’
    tknowwhatIam t
    alki
    ngabout
    .
    Thenagai
    n,Iknowt
    hatt
    heydon’
    thi
    det
    hingsfr
    om eachot
    her.

    Me:
    “Somet
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngoni
    nthi
    shouseNeoandIwantt
    oknowwhat
    .”

    Neo:
    “S’
    momondi
    yasikaStyl
    os,
    omot
    lehahol
    ohor
    eokast
    ress-
    a.”(
    Sty
    les’
    beaut
    if
    ull
    ady
    ,you’
    re
    t
    oopret
    tyt
    obest
    ressing.
    )

    Me:
    “Neo…”

    Myphoner
    ingst
    aki
    ngmeawayf
    rom t
    hisunr
    esol
    vedconv
    ersat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Dad?
    ”

    Igr
    eetasIanswer
    .
    Dad:
    “Yourgr
    andf
    atherhasbeenar
    rest
    ed.
    ”

    Ij
    erkfrom t
    heki
    tchencount
    er,
    shockwr
    it
    tenonmyf
    ace.I
    t’
    simpossi
    ble,
    thatmanwi
    l
    lnev
    erdo
    anyt
    hingwrong.

    NOMBULELO*

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkt
    hatmi
    ssi
    ngaf
    ewday
    swoul
    dbeapr
    obl
    em.
    ”

    IexpresstoMbusoaswewal koutofthehospit
    al,
    wecameher eafterhavi
    ngbr eakf
    ast.I
    actuall
    yoptedf orLina’
    sfatcakes,noonemakest hem l
    ikeshedoes.Iusedtobuyt hem ever
    y
    dayonmywayt oschool,
    Amar awasal soafan.Wewoul dwakeupat6am, justtobeont i
    me
    forthefreshestones, t
    hengooursepar atewaysaft
    er.

    Amarawoul
    dgobackhomewhi l
    eItookataxitoschool,
    bei
    ngther
    ewithMbusobr oughtback
    somanymemories.Ihav
    ebeensocaughtupinmypr obl
    emsthatIf
    orgotabouther,
    therei
    sno
    newsonsoci
    almediaaboutt
    hepostIupl
    oaded.Imisshersomuchithurt
    s.

    Mbuso:“
    It
    ’snott
    heendoft
    hewor
    ld,
    ther
    ear
    esomanyi
    nter
    nshi
    psonl
    i
    ne.Iwi
    l
    lhel
    pyoul
    ook
    f
    orthem.”

    Me:
    “Iguessbut
    …”

    Thesightbef
    oremeblocksmywordsf
    rom depar
    ti
    ngfr
    om mymouth,myfeetf
    ail
    measthey
    ref
    usetomov e.Il
    osemymindatt
    hereal
    i
    zationt
    hati
    t’
    sreal
    l
    yhappeni
    ngandit
    ’sover
    .

    Mbusost
    ops.

    Mbuso:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Me:
    “Zuma.
    ”

    Igaspt
    hewor
    dsout
    .

    Hi
    stur
    nshi
    shead.

    I
    t’
    sZuma, he’
    swi t
    hKoket
    soandt heyl
    ookhappy.Myheartsuddenl
    yfeel
    sheavyandit’
    sgett
    ing
    har
    dtobreathe.I
    twashardtobeli
    evethatt
    heywereact
    uallyanit
    em whensheconfessedbut,
    nowthatIseethem.I
    thurt
    smor eandIcan’tt
    akei
    t.

    Howdar
    etheyl
    aughwhi
    l
    eIam i
    nsomuchpai
    n?

    Thatshoul
    dbemeholdi
    nghi
    shand,
    itshouldbemel
    aughi
    ngathi
    sst
    upi
    dlamej
    okes.Nother
    ,
    shedoesn’
    tev
    endeserv
    eapi
    nchofhappiness.

    Mbuso:
    “Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Hesay
    sbut ,Ican’tmove.Myf
    eetar
    enumb, Iwanttoscr
    eam andshoutandcussatt
    hem.I
    hat
    emy sel
    frightnow,Ihat
    emysel
    fforl
    ovi
    nghimt hewayIdoandallowi
    nghimtohurtme.
    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o?”

    Hebr
    ingsmyat
    tent
    ionbackwhenhepr
    odsme.

    Mbuso:
    “Don’
    tdot
    hist
    oyour
    sel
    f,hei
    snotwor
    thi
    t.
    ”

    Hetr
    iest
    oassur
    emebut
    ,Iam notconv
    inced,
    Iam l
    ooki
    ngatamanIl
    ovemakeanot
    her
    womansmil
    e.

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisnotf
    airMbuso,
    shedoesn’
    tdeser
    vet
    hatsmi
    l
    eonherf
    ace.
    ”

    Myey
    esar
    est
    il
    lgr
    iptont
    hem.

    Mbuso:
    “No,
    theydonotdeser
    vey
    ouLel
    o.Ther
    eal
    loser
    sher
    ear
    ethem andnoty
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ift
    hati
    sthecase,
    thenwhyam Ihur
    ti
    ngl
    i
    ket
    his?WhydoIf
    eel
    li
    ket
    hel
    oser
    ?”

    Il
    etmyt
    ear
    spar
    adeonmyf
    ace,
    Iwantcr
    y.I
    tist
    heonl
    ythi
    ngt
    hatmakesmef
    eel
    bet
    ter
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    olookatme.
    ”

    Ican’
    tlookanywhereel
    sebutatthem ast
    heyapproachus,theyseeme.Koket
    sosmir
    kswhil
    e
    Zumahast hi
    sshockedexpressi
    on.Mbusotakesmycheeksi nt
    othepal
    m ofhi
    shandsand
    tur
    nsmyf acetohim,hi
    seyesholdanannoyedappearance.

    Mbuso:
    “Youar
    est
    rongert
    hant
    hisNombul
    elo.
    ”

    Heswi
    peshi
    sthumbsov
    ermycheeks,
    remov
    ingt
    heev
    idenceofmypai
    n.

    Mbuso:“
    Youwillnotcryi
    nfrontoft
    hosei
    diots,
    you’r
    estrongert
    hanthi
    sLelo,
    Ihaveseeni
    t.You
    wi
    llbet
    hebiggerpersonandnotgiv
    ethem thesat
    isfact
    ionofseei
    ngyouhurt
    .Youhearme?”

    Iwantt
    osayy esbut
    ,Iwoul
    dbel
    yi
    ng,
    Idon’
    tev
    enf
    eel
    str
    ong.If
    eel
    li
    keaf
    ail
    ure,
    Ifeel
    stupi
    d
    andwort
    hless.

    “
    Aren’
    twecosy
    ?”

    Itryt
    oturnmyheadtol
    ookathim,Ihavebeenwait
    ingforhi
    mt ogether
    ebut,Mbusostil
    lhas
    hishandsbur
    iedonmycheeks.He’
    slookingi
    ntomyeyes,asifwai
    ti
    ngforassur
    ance.Igi
    vehim
    thenodhewantedandassoonashel et
    ’sgo,
    Iswif
    tlyt
    urnandmyey esmeetZuma’s.

    Theyar
    est
    il
    ltheey
    esofast
    rangerasIf
    ail
    tor
    ecogni
    zet
    hem.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    41*

    RANDALL*

    Ihaveheardpeopletal
    kaboutbei ngst uckinabaddr eam andnomat terhowmuchy outr
    y,
    wakingupbecomesami ssion.Thisist hecasewi t
    hme, IcancountthestepsIhav
    edril
    l
    ed
    aroundthi
    splacewithmyf eet.Ihavebeenci rcl
    ingthisbi
    gmount ai
    n,eachtimethi
    nki
    ngIwil
    l
    reachmydestinat
    ionbut,eventuall
    yfindmy selfinthesameplaceIstarted.

    Ther
    ear
    ethi
    ckbi
    gtr
    eesat
    tendi
    ngt
    oit
    ,asi
    fshi
    eldi
    ngi
    t.

    I’
    m st
    uckinthedeadofnight,Ithi
    nkit’
    sbeenafewday sI’
    m notsurebut,i
    tfeel
    sli
    keaneter
    nit
    y.
    Thesunrefusestoshowitsgloryasifiti
    stooshytoshine,
    onlythestarsgl
    eam sobri
    ght
    ly,
    cover
    ingthedim skyl
    i
    keabl anketthatst
    ret
    chestotheendsoftheear t
    h.Therei
    ssomanyof
    them t
    hatIhavekeptmyselfbusytryi
    ngtocountthem.

    Thecr
    escentmoonshi
    nessobr
    ight
    lyi
    ntheni
    ghtskyl
    i
    kei
    t’
    str
    yingt
    oshowof
    f.

    Mymindcan’tfathom t
    hebeautyt
    hati
    sbefor
    emebut,
    Ican’
    tignor
    ethisvoi
    dthatkeepsdr
    il
    li
    ng
    i
    ntomysoul.Myear sarefi
    l
    ledwit
    hcri
    esofawoman,
    Ifai
    ltor
    ecognizehervoi
    cebut,myheart
    cr
    ackswi
    thev eryyel
    pthatfi
    ll
    smyears.

    Iwantt
    ohel
    pherbut
    ,Ican’
    tseem t
    ofi
    ndher
    .Iti
    spur
    etor
    ment
    ,onet
    hathasmysoul
    shat
    ter
    ed.

    “
    Uze!Uze!Uze!
    ”

    Ij
    erkt
    othebonechi
    l
    li
    ngwhi
    sperofamal
    evoi
    cecal
    l
    ingoutmynat
    ivename.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sther
    e?”

    Ishout
    ,thi
    sisnott
    hef
    ir
    stt
    imeIhavehear
    dthi
    svoi
    cecal
    l
    ingoutt
    ome.Whoev
    eri
    tis,
    theyar
    e
    toocowardl
    ytoshowt
    hemsel
    ves.

    “
    Uze!Uze!Uze!
    ”

    I
    fthei
    rpl
    ani
    stoi
    mpar
    tfeari
    nme,
    theni
    tiswor
    king.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    showy
    our
    sel
    f.Whoar
    eyouandwhatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom me?
    ”

    IshoutasloudasIcoul
    dinhopesthathewi
    llanswer
    ,suddenl
    yastr
    ongwindt
    hrowsmeont
    he
    fl
    oor.Droppi
    ngmeonmyknees, i
    tdiesouti
    njif
    fyasi
    fitwasnevert
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    ify
    ou’
    ret
    her
    e,showy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadwi
    tht
    heunknownandwai
    tforar
    esponse.

    I
    t’
    sgone.Iam l
    eftal
    oneagai
    nint
    hedusk,
    thepi
    erci
    ngsi
    l
    enceseeksmycompanyandIam
    f
    orcedt
    oindul
    gei ni
    t.
    STYLES*

    Iar
    ri
    veatthehospital
    ,IknowMkhize’scarsnow.Therearethreeofthem parkedout
    sideanda
    car
    avan,i
    thashislogoont hewi
    ndshield.Oneminuteyouthinkheissmar t,
    thenhegoesand
    makessuchmistakes.It’
    sagoodthingtheyareobli
    vioust
    oAmar a’stracker
    s,thi
    smakesmy
    j
    obeasier
    .

    Ican’
    tseeanyoft
    hegoonsout
    side,
    bigbuf
    fmeni
    nbl
    ack,
    guar
    dingapubl
    i
    chospi
    tal
    woul
    dlook
    suspi
    cious.

    I
    ’
    dbedamned,
    hisbr
    aindoeswor
    kaf
    teral
    l
    .

    Ir
    ecei
    veacal
    lj
    ustasI
    ’
    m aboutt
    ojumpoutoft
    hecar
    ,it
    ’sNkomo.Hemustbeher
    e.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Aer
    oton.
    ”

    Me:
    “Meetmeatt
    hehospi
    tal
    ,I
    ’m goi
    ngi
    n.”

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ’st
    hepl
    anSt
    yles?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    thav
    eti
    met
    ofi
    l
    lyoui
    n.”

    Nkomo:
    “Neot
    oldmeabouti
    t.Whatar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odowi
    thasnake?
    ”

    Me:
    “Whosai
    dit
    ’sasnake?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “I’
    m notsur
    eIf
    oll
    ow?
    ”

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    thav
    eto.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “St
    yles,
    youcan’
    tdot
    hat
    .It
    ’sgov
    ernmentpr
    oper
    ty,
    youwi
    l
    lgeti
    ntr
    oubl
    e.”

    Hesnapsi
    napani
    cki
    ngt
    one.

    Me:
    “IknowwhatI
    ’
    m doi
    ngr
    elax.
    ”

    Nkomo:“Peopl
    ewi
    l
    ldi
    eSt
    yles,
    doy
    ouev
    enknowi
    fthosesnakesar
    epoi
    sonousornot
    ?Thi
    sis
    astupi
    dplan.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tseey
    oucomi
    ngupwi
    thany
    thi
    ng,
    letmedowhatIhav
    eto.
    ”

    Imadeami
    stakebycal
    l
    ingt
    hisi
    diot
    .

    Nkomo:“Whataboutal
    lthosepeopl
    eint
    hehospi
    tal
    ?Yout
    hinkt
    hosesnakeswi
    l
    ltel
    lthem apar
    t
    f
    rom Mkhize’
    sgoons?”

    Me:
    “Dude,calm down.Yousoundl
    i
    keanaggi
    ngwi
    fe,
    jeez.I
    twi
    l
    ljustbeont
    hatwar
    dandnot
    t
    hewholebloodyhospit
    al.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “So,
    thewar
    dshei
    sinhasr
    obot
    s?”
    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lputt
    hem t
    osl
    eeponceIhav
    eAmar
    awi
    thme.
    ”

    Nkomo:“Thatdoesn’
    tev
    enmakesense,
    you’
    reeducat
    edSt
    ylesbut
    ,youdi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkt
    his
    t
    hrough.
    ”

    Heshout
    s,Iwi
    l
    lleti
    tsl
    i
    de.

    Me:“
    Nkomo,y
    oushoul
    dknowmebynowt hat
    ,Inev
    erdoany
    thi
    ngwithoutt
    hinki
    ngi
    tthr
    ough.
    Myplot
    sal
    waysi
    ncl
    udeastar
    t,mi
    ddl
    eandend.Thi
    sonei
    swellt
    houghtof.
    ”

    Whyam Iev
    enexpl
    aini
    ngt
    hist
    ohi
    m?Hi
    ssensel
    essbr
    ainwon’
    tev
    enbeabl
    etogr
    aspi
    t.

    Nkomo:
    “Howmanysnakesar
    ewet
    alki
    ngsi
    ncey
    ouar
    esosur
    eofy
    our
    sel
    f?”

    Hi
    sannoy
    ingv
    oicei
    sget
    ti
    ngonmyner
    vesnow.

    Me:
    “Fi
    ft
    ytosi
    xty
    ,thekeeperwasal
    i
    ttl
    evagueonspeci
    fi
    cs.
    ”

    Nkomo:“
    What?Howt hehell
    areyougoingtoputsi
    xtysnakest
    osl
    eep?Howwi
    l
    lyouev
    enst
    op
    t
    hem f
    rom sl
    i
    ther
    ingaroundthehospi
    tal
    ?”

    Hecont
    inuest
    oyel
    l
    .

    Me:“
    Wil
    lyoust
    opshout
    ingatme?Iam notst
    upi
    dNkomo,
    Itol
    dyouIknowwhatIam doi
    ng.I
    f
    youf
    eel
    li
    keyoucan’
    tdothi
    sthen,
    gobackhome.”

    Ir
    etur
    nthebar
    k.

    Nkomo:“
    I’
    m al
    mostt
    her
    eso,Imi
    ghtaswell
    .Atl
    east
    ,tel
    lmehowy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    oputt
    hem t
    o
    sl
    eepandwhat
    ’st
    heuseoft
    hem any
    way?
    ”

    Myplansfort
    odaydi
    dnoti
    ncl
    udebei
    ngi
    nter
    rogat
    edbyt
    hisf
    ool
    whi
    l
    e,I
    ’
    m par
    kedout
    sidet
    he
    hospi
    tal
    .

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’st
    hischemi
    cal
    Ihadmadeatt
    hel
    ab,
    askdaddydear
    est
    ,hewi
    l
    ltel
    lyouwhati
    tdoes.
    ”

    Icont
    inuet
    oexpl
    ain.

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ?”

    Iknewt
    hathewoul
    dn’
    tunder
    stand.

    Me:“
    Timeisnotonmysi
    de,Ihavetogeti
    nther
    e.IhopeIwil
    lfi
    ndy
    ouwai
    ti
    ngf
    ormewhenI
    comeout
    .Ineedaget
    awaycarjusti
    ncaseI’
    m bei
    ngfol
    lowed.
    ”

    Iexpl
    ainandhopehei
    sint
    his.

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ever
    .Thi
    sst
    upi
    dpl
    anofy
    our
    sbet
    terwor
    k.”

    Hedr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    .

    Idonothavet
    imetodwel
    lonhim,Ican’
    tlosef
    ocusnow.Iputonacapandt
    hehoodofmy
    j
    acket
    ,theywon’
    tseemecoming.
    AMARA*

    Thi
    soldmani sbackbut
    ,heisnotalone,Francoiswi t
    hhim.Thesl
    ightbrui
    sesonhisfacegiv
    e
    evi
    dencethathewasinanacci
    dent.Hegi v
    esmeanauseat i
    ngsmugasmyey esmeethis.My
    worl
    dshakesasIcomprehendwhati shappening,Francotookmefrom Randall
    andnowhei s
    her
    ewi t
    hthisol
    dman.Theylookcosy ,
    li
    keol dfr
    iends.

    FearconsumesmeandIgr aspthat
    ,Iactual
    l
    yf el
    tsaf
    ewithRandall
    ,healway
    sgavean
    i
    mpr essi
    onofsomeonewhowasbentonpr otecti
    ngme.Icannotsaythesameaboutt
    hese
    men, t
    hei
    rlookssendchi
    l
    lsthr
    oughev er
    ybonei nmybody.

    IclosemyeyesasIsearchf
    orRandal
    li
    nmyt houghts,maybeIwi
    llf
    eelsafe.Hisf
    acei
    ssur
    eto
    soothemebut,not
    hingcomestomindexceptt
    hatinsati
    abl
    estol
    enkissthathadmeweakin
    theknees.

    Thewayhesuckedonmyl owerl i
    pwhilemybodypr essedagainsthis,
    asi fi
    tweretheonly
    thi
    ngwecoulddo,t
    hefeelofhiswarmt onguecrudelybl
    endingwithmi ne.Thesoftmoanhe
    sti
    fl
    edthr
    oughtheki
    ss,confi
    rmingthathewasenj oyi
    ngme.I tl
    eftmewant i
    ngmor eand
    thi
    nki
    nghowhewoul df
    eel i
    nsi
    deme, howhi sski
    nwoul dfeelonmi neandhowhi shandswoul
    d
    worshi
    peveryi
    nchofmybody .

    Howdi
    dmymi
    ndbl
    ockal
    lthi
    sout
    ?Howdi
    dImi
    ssal
    loft
    his?

    WasIsobentonhat
    inghi
    mthat
    ,If
    ail
    edt
    oseewhatwasbei
    ngshownt
    omei
    naf
    orm ofa
    beast
    ?

    Thati
    soner
    iddl
    eIwoul
    dnev
    erhav
    ebeenabl
    etocr
    ack.

    Now,Iwil
    lnev
    erknowwhati
    tisabouthi
    mthathasal
    lthesemy
    ster
    iousf
    eel
    i
    ngscomeatme
    l
    ikeafl
    ood.

    Suddenl
    y,thi
    sdeepneedtot
    ast
    ehi
    sli
    psagai
    nnudgesatme.Theset
    hought
    sabouthi
    m br
    ing
    met hepeaceIwasseeki
    ng.

    “
    Amar
    a?”

    Iopenmyeyest
    oseethemanwhojustj
    olt
    edmeoutofmyf
    ant
    asy
    ,Icanonl
    yshownot
    hingbut
    ,
    angert
    owar
    dstheset
    woani
    mals.

    Hi
    m:“
    What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Igl
    areathi
    m andFr
    ancowhoi
    sst
    il
    lhol
    dingt
    hesmugonhi
    sface.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Itappear
    sthatpr
    incessi
    sdaydr
    eami
    ng.
    ”

    Hemocksmeashesmi
    rks,
    col
    dly
    .

    Theol
    dmanl
    ooksathi
    m wi
    thdeadey
    es.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oupeopl
    ewantf
    rom me?
    ”
    Fr
    ancochor
    tl
    es.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Woul
    dn’
    tyoul
    i
    ket
    oknow?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ou,
    pleasel
    etmego.
    ”

    Iseem t
    oamuseFr
    ancobecauseher
    upt
    uresi
    ntoal
    aught
    er.

    Him:“
    And,
    wherewoul
    dyougoAmar
    a?Youhav
    enoone,
    youruncl
    esol
    dyout
    othatev
    ilman
    andwesavedy
    oufr
    om hi
    m.”

    Hedeclares,
    try
    ingt
    oconv
    inceme.I’
    m notst
    upid,
    Ihear
    dwhatFr
    ancoandt
    hatot
    hermanwer
    e
    say
    ing.Iknowtheyhav
    ebadint
    ent
    ionstowardsme.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oumeany
    ousav
    edme?
    ”

    Iaskany
    way
    .

    Him:“
    Randal
    landhi
    sf r
    iendStyl
    esareintohumant
    raff
    icki
    ng,
    theytar
    getyoungandinnocent
    gi
    rl
    sli
    keyouandsellt
    hem tothehighestbi
    dder
    .Fr
    ancoandIbeingagai
    nstitandknowinghow
    col
    dhear
    tedtheyar
    e,wesav edyou.”

    Heexpl
    ainsandj
    ust
    if
    ieshi
    smal
    i
    ciousdeeds.

    Me:
    “Thati
    sal
    i
    e.Youdon’
    tknowmeso,
    whywoul
    dyouwantt
    osav
    eme?
    ”

    Him:“Yourfatherwasmycl osestfri
    end,Iwantedtotakey ouinaft
    erthei
    rdeathbutyouraunt
    anduncl er
    efused.Theyhidyoufrom meAmar a,Iwaswi l
    l
    ingtogiveyouthebesteducati
    on.
    Havey oueverwonderedwhyt heydidn’tall
    owy outostudyfurt
    her?Whytheirchi
    ldgot
    ever
    ythingwhileyouhadtoset t
    leforherleft
    overs?Theonlyreasontheykeptyouwasbecause
    ofyourinheri
    tance,
    yourfatherl
    eftyouagr eatamountofmoneyandt hehouse.Mosessoldit
    andusedt hemoneyf orhi
    sownsel f
    ishneeds.”

    Hesoundssoconv
    inci
    ngt
    hatIal
    mostbel
    i
    evehi
    m.

    Me:
    “HowdoIknowt
    haty
    ou’
    ret
    ell
    i
    ngt
    het
    rut
    h?Youcoul
    dbel
    yi
    ngt
    ome.
    ”

    HelooksatFrancowhoisnowl eani
    ngagainstthewall
    wit
    hasmuglookonhisface,
    forawhi
    l
    e
    ther
    e,It
    hinkheisgoi
    ngtolaugh.Francopusheshishandi
    ntohi
    spocketandcomesoutwi
    tha
    photogr
    aph,hehandsi
    ttotheoldmanwhogi vesitt
    ome.

    IfearwhatIam behol
    ding,i
    t’
    sapictureofmyf at
    her.Heisexact
    lyhowIrememberhi m-
    averageheight
    ,bal
    dheadandhi sroundchubbyface.Hewasmyt eddybear,Idi
    dn’t
    compr ehendhowmuchImi ssedhimt il
    lnow.Myhear tbr
    eaksandcravesforhislove,hi
    shugs
    hewoul dsmouldermyeightyearoldbodyin.

    Hi
    m:“
    That
    ’sme,
    nextt
    ohi
    m.”

    Hesay s,
    asifdesperatet
    oconv i
    nceme.Iraisemyeyestoscanhi
    sface,t
    henbackatt
    he
    pict
    ure.I
    tishim andyoucanseet hei
    rcl
    osenessi
    nthispi
    ctur
    easmyf at
    herhashi
    shand
    rest
    ingonthisman’sshoulder
    .
    I
    ’
    m conf
    used,Idon’tknowwhattot
    hinkany
    mor
    e.It
    ryt
    ohol
    dont
    oRandal
    l
    ’swor
    ds“
    Don’
    ttr
    ust
    t
    hesemen,whatevertheysayi
    sali
    e.”

    Iam sur
    roundedbyl
    i
    es.

    Thatki
    sswi t
    hRandal
    l
    ,it
    ’ssomet
    hingt
    hatcannotbedeni
    edev
    eni
    fIwant
    edt
    obecausesof
    ar,
    it
    i
    sthetruestthi
    ngt
    ome.

    KHETHU*

    Me:
    “Dad,
    whathappened?
    ”

    Hemeet
    smehal
    fwayasIappr
    oachhi
    m andl
    eadsmet
    ohi
    sof
    fi
    ce.

    Dad:
    “Yourgr
    andf
    atherhasbeenaccusedofr
    api
    nga16y
    earol
    dgi
    rl
    .”

    Whathesay
    stomecr
    umbl
    esmywor
    ld.Notmygr
    andf
    ather
    .Hei
    sthemostunt
    aint
    edper
    sonI
    know.

    Me:
    “No,
    thati
    sal
    i
    edad.
    ”

    Idebat
    e.

    Dad:
    “Idoubti
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?Dady
    ouknowhewi
    l
    lnev
    erdot
    hat
    .”

    Ir
    aisemyv
    oiceathi
    m.

    Dad:“
    Khethu,
    Isawthegi
    rl
    .Shewasshakenandshewoul
    dn’
    tst
    opcr
    ying.Youcan’
    tfake
    somethi
    ngli
    kethat
    .”

    Me:“
    Wel
    l
    ,may
    beshe’
    smi
    staken.May
    bei
    twassomeoneel
    seandshe’
    sput
    ti
    ngt
    hebl
    ameon
    hi
    m.”

    Hel
    ooksatmel
    i
    keIam l
    osi
    ngmymi
    nd,
    may
    beIam.

    Dad:
    “Thati
    sst
    upidandy
    ouknowi
    t.Youar
    eawomanKhet
    hu,
    youshoul
    dknowt
    hatnowoman
    canf
    akesucht
    remor.
    ”

    Hei
    sri
    ghtbut
    …

    Me: “
    OhmyGod, hemustbebroken.Honourabl
    eJudgeAsandaMdl uliarr
    est
    edforrape?Doyou
    knowwhatt hatwil
    ldot
    ohim andhiscareer
    ?No, Irefuset
    obeli
    evethat.Hecannotbecapabl
    e
    ofrape.Thatmanisanangel
    ,helovespeople.Idon’tknowany
    oneascompassi onateashim.
    ”

    Heof
    fer
    sal
    ookt
    hatsay
    shebel
    i
    evest
    heaccusat
    ions.

    Me:
    “Dadno,
    hei
    syourf
    ather
    -in-
    law.Youknowhi
    m bet
    tert
    hant
    his.
    ”

    Iwhi
    mperi
    nsobsandhepul
    l
    smei
    ntohi
    sar
    ms.
    Mymot
    herwal
    ksi
    n,herf
    acedi
    spl
    ayi
    ngabl
    ankl
    ook.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“So,
    it’
    str
    ue?
    ”

    Dadpul
    lsmeoutofhi
    sar
    ms,
    tur
    nst
    omymot
    herandnods.Theyexchangeal
    ookIcannot
    makeout.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“May
    bet
    hatbast
    ardwi
    l
    lfi
    nal
    l
    yroti
    njai
    l
    .”

    Shest
    atescool
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyousohear
    tl
    ess?He’
    syourf
    ather
    .”

    Iy
    ell
    ather
    .

    Thel
    astt
    imeIsawherwaswhenwehadt
    hatf
    ight
    .

    Nobayeni
    :“He’
    sar
    api
    st,
    asi
    ck-spi
    nel
    esspaedophi
    l
    ewhodeser
    vest
    oroti
    njai
    lfort
    her
    estof
    hi
    sli
    fe.”

    Sheshout
    sback.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notsur
    pri
    sedt
    haty
    ouwoul
    dsayt
    his,
    youdon’
    tcar
    eaboutany
    onebuty
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Lel
    o,t
    hisi
    snott
    het
    ime.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“You’
    reachi
    l
    dBr
    idget
    te,
    youdon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Me:“Iknowt hatmygrandf
    atheri
    sinnocent
    ,hei
    snoty
    ouNobay
    eni
    .You’
    recapabl
    eofany
    thi
    ng,
    youdon’tdeserveaf
    atherl
    ikehim.
    ”

    Shecackl
    esscor
    nful
    l
    y,t
    aki
    ngdel
    i
    ghti
    nmydecl
    arat
    ion.

    Nobayeni
    :“Thi
    sist
    hemostsensi
    blet
    hingy
    ouhav
    esai
    dtomesof
    ar,
    youar
    eri
    ght
    .Ideser
    ve
    bet
    ter
    .”

    Me:
    “Oneday
    ,kar
    mawi
    l
    lvi
    si
    tyouandy
    ouwi
    l
    lbesor
    ry.
    ”

    Nobayeni:
    “Whyisthi
    schil
    dsodisr
    espect
    ful
    ?Iam noty
    ourf
    riendBr
    idget
    te,
    incasey
    ouhav
    en’
    t
    not
    iced.Iwil
    lputy
    ouinyourpl
    aceri
    ghtnow,dar
    emey oust
    upidchi
    ld.
    ”

    Shepokesmyheadwithherf
    orefi
    ngerwhi
    leshout
    ingatme,
    Ishr
    ugi
    tawayandshegr
    umbl
    es.
    Myfatherst
    andsasabri
    dgebetweenus.

    Dad:“
    Iam notgoingt
    oal l
    owthisinmyplaceofwor
    k.Don’
    tyout
    wohav
    eanyshameatal
    l
    ?
    Bi
    ckeri
    ngwitheachotherli
    keanimal
    s?”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Teachy
    ourdaught
    ersomer
    espectDl
    adl
    a,orIwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Ihat
    eher
    .

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    oseemygr
    andf
    ather
    .”
    Dad:
    “Idon’
    tthi
    nkt
    hati
    sagoodi
    dea.
    ”

    Me:
    “Why
    ?”

    Nobay
    eni
    huf
    fs,
    Icant
    ell
    thatshei
    shi
    dingsomet
    hing.

    Dad:
    “It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dgohome,
    Iwi
    l
    ltakey
    out
    oseehi
    m whent
    het
    imei
    sri
    ght
    .”

    Whatt
    hehel
    ldoest
    hatev
    enmean?

    Me:“DadIwanttoseehi
    m, I
    ’m notgoi
    ngany
    wheret
    il
    lIseemygr
    andf
    ather
    .Idon’
    twanthi
    m
    t
    hinki
    ngthatIhav
    ealsoabandonedhimli
    kesomepeopl
    e.”

    Nobay
    eni
    shoot
    smeadeadl
    ygl
    areandcl
    i
    ckshert
    ongue,
    Irol
    lmyey
    esather
    .

    MyfatherknowsIcanbestubbor
    nandIwil
    lnotbackdown.Hefol
    lowsmeoutasImakemy
    waytowardsthehol
    dingcel
    ls,
    Idon’
    tcar
    etocheckifNobay
    enii
    staggi
    ngal
    ong.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    42*

    STYLES*

    Kgot
    soi
    swai
    ti
    ngf
    ormeatt
    heent
    rance,
    hehast
    hepackagewi
    thhi
    m.

    Kgot
    so:
    “Monna.
    ”(Man.
    )

    Hegr
    eet
    s.

    Me:
    “Howmany
    ?”

    kgot
    so:
    “Si
    xty
    .”

    Li
    keIpr
    edi
    cted.

    Me:
    “Al
    ll
    ethal
    ?”

    Kgot
    so:
    “Ev
    erysi
    ngl
    eoneoft
    hem.
    ”

    Me:
    “Good.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Kgot soisdressedasamai nt
    enanceguyandbecauseoft hat,wepasst hr
    oughr ecept
    ion
    withoutanyhassles.Wetakethestair
    st othefour
    thf
    loor,Igest
    urethathestopsaswer each
    there.Icheckthecoastandtherearefourguardsont
    heent ir
    efloor,
    theyaredressedinnormal
    clothing.Onewouldthi
    nkthattheyarejustordi
    nar
    yci
    tizensbut,IknowMkhi ze’
    smi ni
    ons,they
    l
    ookl i
    kebouncersandthatgi
    veshim away .

    It
    urnt
    okgot
    sowho’
    sawai
    ti
    ngmycommand.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyouwhent
    orel
    easet
    hem.
    ”

    Hel
    ookswor
    ri
    edandedgy
    .

    Kgot
    so:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    ethesubst
    ancewi
    l
    lputt
    hem t
    osl
    eep?
    ”

    Hepr
    obes,
    per
    spi
    rat
    ionr
    unni
    ngdownhi
    sfor
    ehead,
    showi
    ngt
    hemagni
    tudeofhi
    sagi
    tat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Yes,
    Ijustneedt
    ocauseacommot
    iont
    hengetwhatIwant
    .”

    Henods,
    whi
    l
    edabbi
    nghi
    sfor
    eheadwi
    thhi
    scoat
    -sl
    eev
    e.

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyour
    elax?You’
    l
    lfuckupi
    fyou’
    resoj
    umpy
    .Her
    e,putt
    hisi
    nyourear
    .”

    Ihandhi
    m aNanowi
    rel
    essear
    piece.

    Me:
    “Wai
    tformycal
    l
    .”

    Ipul
    lthecapal i
    ttl
    elowertomyfaceandlei
    sur
    elywal
    kdownthepassage,Imakesur
    enotto
    makeey econtactwitht
    hegoons.Fr
    ancowalksoutoft
    hechamberI’
    m headedto,
    helooksat
    meandIt rynottolookcyni
    cal
    ashewal kst
    owardsmeandkeepsaguardedgazeonme.
    Heslowl
    ywalkspastwhi l
    eglari
    ngatme, ifherecognizesmethenmyplanwil
    lberui
    ned.I
    br
    eatheasighofrel
    iefwhenhef inall
    ywalkspast.JustafewmorestepsandIwi
    ll
    bei n
    Amara’
    sroom,that’
    swhenIwi llgivekgot
    sot hegoahead.Oncethesnakesar
    eout,t
    hepart
    y
    st
    art
    s.Thoseli
    tt
    ledevil
    swi l
    lbeagr eatdi
    stract
    ion.

    “
    HEY!
    !!
    ”

    Shi
    t!That’
    sFr
    anco.Ii
    gnor
    ehi
    m andkeeponwal
    ki
    ng,
    Ipul
    loutagunasIpr
    epar
    efort
    he
    i
    nevit
    able.

    “
    Hey
    ,St
    yles.
    ”

    Fr
    ancoshoutsagai
    n,i
    fIconti
    nuewal ki
    ng,t
    hesonofabi t
    chmightshootmef
    rom behi
    nd.
    Mkhizewal
    ksoutofAmara’sroom justasI
    ’m aboutt
    oturn,
    herecogni
    sesmeandhurr
    iesback
    i
    n.Iguessmydisgui
    seisnotthatgood.

    Me:
    “Now.
    ”

    Iwhispert
    hroughtheearpi
    ecebef oretur
    ningandopeni
    ngfir
    e,taki
    ngtwogof er
    sout.Irunfor
    coverdodgi
    ngFranco’sbul
    lets,
    there’schaosever
    ywher
    e.Peoplear er
    unni
    ngandscr eaming,
    thi
    siswhatgetsblackpeoplekil
    led.Inst
    eadofrunni
    ngforcover,t
    heyscat
    terever
    ywher e.

    Fr
    anco:
    “St
    ylesy
    ou’
    redeadany
    way
    ,youmi
    ghtaswel
    lcomeout
    .”

    Hey
    ell
    s.

    I’
    mi nsi
    dearoom andther
    earefi
    v epatient
    sgatheredinacor ner,t
    heylookdi
    str
    aughtasthey
    glanceatmewithfeari
    nthei
    reyes.Itrytomov ebut,I’
    m stoppedbyt hi
    sexcr
    uciat
    ingpai
    non
    myabdomen.Isendmyhandt oinspect,andfli
    nchast hepainreactstothet
    ouchofmyf i
    ngers.
    Ifeelawarmthi
    ckslimyli
    qui
    dandr eali
    zet hatI
    ’vebeenhit
    .

    NOMBULELO*

    Wear
    est
    andi
    ngi
    nthepar
    kingl
    ot,
    ZumaandKoket
    soar
    est
    il
    lhol
    dinghandsandi
    tst
    ings.

    Mbuso:
    “Itwoul
    dbebesti
    fyouwal
    kaway
    ,wedon’
    twantt
    ost
    artt
    roubl
    e.”

    Mbusomakesthefir
    stmove,
    IdoubtIwasgoi
    ngt
    osayany
    thi
    ng.Iwasr
    eadyt
    ocr
    yforhi
    m and
    askhi
    mifheenjoy
    shurti
    ngme.

    Zumachor
    tl
    es,
    respondi
    ngt
    oMbuso’
    sdemands.

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,i
    nyoni
    yakhoi
    yakukhul
    umel
    amanj
    e?”(
    Thi
    sbi
    rdspeaksf
    ory
    ounow?
    )

    It
    hinkIwil
    lcr
    yanymi
    nut
    enow,
    myey
    esar
    est
    uckonhi
    m andIcan’
    tseem t
    ogetawor
    doutof
    mymout h.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Icanhearhisvoicebutit’
    sfar
    ,myeyesref
    uset
    oleav
    eZuma’sface.I
    t’
    sli
    keIam stuckandhave
    for
    gottenhowt omov e.He’sl
    eer
    ingdownatmeashesmi
    rksfoll
    owedbyawi nk.Bast
    ard,
    he’s
    enjoy
    ingseeingmel i
    kethis.

    Koket
    so:
    “Babyl
    et’
    sgo.
    ”

    Herri
    li
    ngvoi
    cegivesmyey esbackt
    hepowertheywereseeking,theyfallonherfaceandIl
    ose
    i
    t.Thenextt
    hingIknowmyhandi sspl
    ashi
    ngagainstherskel
    etalface,sheletsgoofZuma’s
    handasascream soar
    soutofhermouth.Sheret
    urnstheslapjustashar d,andIstumbl
    eback
    ali
    tt
    leandgainmybalance.

    Control
    ledbymyemotions,Ij
    umponher,pull
    ingheruglywi
    goffandexposi
    nghershorthair
    .
    Shetightl
    ysei
    zesmydreads,Icoul
    dfeelt
    hest r
    andsofmyhairsnappi
    ngonmysculp.Iscream,
    fl
    ail
    i
    ngmyhandsandl etti
    ngthem hi
    twherev
    ert heyl
    andonherbody.

    Ev
    ery
    thi
    nghappenedsof
    astt
    hatt
    heboy
    swer
    ebemused,
    theydi
    dn’
    thav
    eti
    met
    oact
    .

    Zuma:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    syourpr
    obl
    em?
    ”

    Heshout
    satmeashesnatchesmyar
    m,pul
    l
    ingmeawayf
    rom Koket
    so,
    Mbusopul
    l
    smef
    rom
    hi
    m andst
    andsbet
    weenus.

    Mbuso:
    “Don’
    tcr
    ossy
    ourl
    i
    mit
    sboy
    .”

    Het
    hreat
    ensandZumal
    aughs,
    der
    isi
    vel
    y.

    Zuma:
    “Orwhat
    ?Yout
    hinkI
    ’
    m scar
    edofy
    oucheeseboy
    ?”

    Heasks,
    inani
    nsul
    ti
    ngmanner
    .IgawpatKoket
    sonextt
    oZumaasshef
    ixesherwi
    g.

    Iam sol
    ivi
    dri
    ghtnowt hat
    ,Ican’
    tev
    enthi
    nkst
    rai
    ght
    .Ther
    e’ssomuchangerpl
    ast
    eredonher
    facebut
    ,shecannotbeasangryasIam.

    Koket
    so:
    “You’
    regoi
    ngt
    opayf
    ort
    hiswenas’
    febe.
    ”(Youbi
    tch.
    )

    Shet
    hreat
    ensassheshoot
    smeanev
    ilst
    are,
    I’
    m nott
    hrownbyherempt
    ythr
    eat
    s.

    Me:“I
    s’
    febenguweKoketso.Howdar eyoudothi
    stome?Youwantedt
    oeatfr
    om atabley
    ou
    werenoti
    nvi
    tedtoso,y
    out houghti
    tbesttol
    urkbehi
    ndmybackandst
    eal
    from me.Uzonya
    wena.
    ”(Youwil
    lgetwhat’
    scomi ngt
    oy ou.
    )

    Ir
    etur
    nthet
    hreat
    .

    Koket
    so:“
    Ngizokut
    rapa,
    Iseey
    oudi
    dn’
    tfeel
    any
    thi
    ngwhenZumahi
    tyou,
    youwantmor
    e
    aker
    e?”(
    Iwil
    ltr
    ashy
    ou.)

    Sheyel
    l
    s,r
    emi
    ndingmeofapai
    nful
    memor
    y.Mbusomi
    l
    dlyshov
    esmebehi
    ndhi
    m asIat
    tempt
    toj
    umponheragai
    n.

    Mbuso:
    “Cont
    rol
    yourpestboy
    ,uzol
    i
    mal
    a.”(
    Shewi
    l
    lgethur
    t.
    )

    He’
    ssti
    l
    lst
    andi
    ngr
    ighti
    nfr
    ontofhi
    m,Ican’
    tseehi
    sfacebutonl
    yZuma’
    s.He’
    sscowl
    i
    ngat
    Mbuso.
    Koket
    so:
    “Whoar
    eyoucal
    l
    ingapestwenas’
    l
    ima?
    ”(Youi
    diot
    .)

    Shescr
    eamsheri
    nsul
    tathi
    m,Mbusodoesn’
    tev
    enacknowl
    edgeherpr
    esence.

    Zuma:
    “Awumekancanewena.
    ”(Wai
    t.
    )

    Her
    epr
    imandsherandshecl
    i
    ckshert
    ongue.

    Mbuso: “It
    hinkIdi
    dn’
    tment
    ionthi
    sthelastt
    ime,
    stayawayfr
    om Nombulel
    o.Whenyouseeher,
    walktheotherway.Don’
    tev
    enletthet
    houghtofherent
    ert
    hatemptyheadofyour
    s,pr
    etendshe
    doesn’texi
    st.”

    Whatt
    hehel
    li
    shedoi
    ng?

    Thi
    sisnotwhatIwant
    ,may
    bei
    t’
    snotbut
    ,I’
    m notr
    eadyf
    orZumat
    ofor
    getaboutme.

    Zuma:
    “Orwhat
    ?”

    He’
    sasbol
    dasbr
    ass.Thi
    sishowhe’
    sal
    way
    sbeen,
    stubbor
    n,ar
    rogantandegocent
    ri
    c.

    Mbuso:
    “Iknowpeopl
    ent
    wanaandbel
    i
    eveme,
    youwoul
    dn’
    twantt
    hem t
    oknowy
    ou.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    s,i
    nadeadpanv
    oice.

    Ihav
    enocl
    uewhathemeansbyt
    hisbut
    ,hi
    swor
    dsar
    edi
    stur
    bing.

    IseeZumagul
    pandt
    hatundaunt
    edat
    ti
    tudehewasf
    launt
    ingi
    sgone.

    Hecl
    ickshi
    stongue,
    giv
    esmeawarningl
    ookthatassuresmet
    hat,t
    hisi
    snotthel
    astIseeof
    hi
    m.Zumaisnotonetobethr
    eat
    enedandlet
    sitgo,Iknowhewil
    lwantt
    ohurtMbuso.

    Mbusoturnst
    omeassoonast
    heywal
    kaway
    ,he’
    swear
    ingaf
    rownofdi
    str
    essandl
    ooks
    of
    fended.

    Mbuso:
    “Ihav
    etobesomewher
    eso,
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    fathome.
    ”

    Hespeaks,
    ser
    ious-
    faced.

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    thatf
    ight
    …”

    Mbuso:
    “Youdon’
    thav
    etoexpl
    ainany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    But
    ,Iwantt
    oexpl
    ain.

    Me:
    “Thatwasnotme,
    Iswear
    .It
    ’sj
    ustt
    hat
    ,whenIhear
    dhercal
    lhi
    m baby
    ,Il
    osti
    t.
    ”

    Ij
    ust
    if
    ymyv
    iol
    entact
    ions.

    Iknow,Idon’
    towehim anexpl
    anat
    ion.Ij
    ustwanthi
    mtoknowt
    hatIdon’
    twal
    kar
    ound
    randomlyat
    tacki
    ngpeopl
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    oit
    ’sokay
    ,honest
    ly.Iunder
    standwher
    eyouar
    ecomi
    ngf
    rom.
    ”

    Inod.
    Mbuso:
    “Shal
    lwego?Orel
    seIwi
    l
    lbel
    ate.
    ”

    Hesay
    sashef
    ixesmydr
    eads,
    Inod.

    Wewal
    kqui
    etl
    ytot
    hecar
    ,thi
    sisawkwar
    d.

    NTOMBI
    *

    JonasandMhambi havesatusdown,petuniaisnextt
    oherhusband.Whil
    e,Iam si
    tt
    ing
    opposi
    tethem,Mhambi l
    ooksver
    ydisappointedi
    nme.Iknowf orafactt
    hatheblamesmef
    or
    thi
    sfi
    ght,
    het hi
    nkshi
    swifeisper
    fect
    .

    Jonas:
    “You’
    ref
    ight
    ingy
    ourel
    der
    snowNt
    ont
    o?”

    Thatquest
    ioni
    sinconsequent
    ial
    andIfai
    ltoappr
    ehendwhyhewoul
    dwantt
    oaskmeandnot
    her
    ,she’st
    heonewhowent‘ Chri
    sBrown’onme.

    Me:“Beforeyouaskmet
    ri
    vi
    alt
    hings.Hasany
    oneev
    enbot
    her
    edt
    otr
    yandf
    indoutwher
    emy
    husbandis?”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Yey
    eni
    .”

    Shecackl
    esl
    oudl
    y,asshecl
    apsonce.

    Jonas:
    “Pet
    u,Iknowy
    oul
    oveat
    tent
    ionbut
    ,wai
    tforNt
    ombi
    tof
    ini
    sh.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esathi
    m.

    Jonas:
    “Mhambi
    ,khuzamf
    owet
    hu.
    ”(Appr
    ehendhermybr
    other
    .)

    Hegiv
    esherthatf
    ir
    m gl
    arethat
    ,makesyouwi
    thdr
    awfr
    om what
    every
    ouwantt
    osay
    .Jonasi
    s
    st
    ri
    ctl
    iket
    hatbut,
    hecanalsobeaclownwhenhewant
    s.

    Mhambi
    wil
    lnotdi
    sput
    ewi
    thhi
    sbr
    other
    ,thi
    sishowmuchher
    espect
    shi
    sopi
    nion.

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ont
    o,wear
    eli
    steni
    ng.
    ”

    Me:“BhutiJonas,myhusbandhasbeenmissingsinceizoloanduMhambi doesn’
    twantt
    ohelp
    l
    ookforhim, i
    nstead,
    hejustsi
    tsandlet
    sPetuniadowhat evershepleasesinmyhouse.Huhah
    minangikhathel
    eBhuti,
    Ican’
    thandl
    eevery
    thingalone.
    ”(I’
    mt ir
    edbrother.
    )

    Iexpl
    ainmyt
    roubl
    esi
    nant
    ici
    pat
    iont
    hat
    ,Jonaswi
    l
    lpi
    tyme,
    puthi
    shat
    easi
    deandhel
    plookf
    or
    Moses.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    issel
    fi
    sh.
    ..
    ”

    Jonasr
    aisesahandandsheshut
    sherbi
    gmout
    h.

    Jonas:
    “Pet
    uwai
    t,Iwantt
    ohearwhatshehast
    osay
    .Nt
    ombi
    mustexpl
    aint
    omewhymyki
    ds
    ar
    enotathome.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    aisr
    eadyt
    orol
    lherey
    esbut
    ,sher
    efr
    ainsf
    rom i
    t.

    Thi
    sismychancet
    oint
    roducemyt
    ear
    stohi
    m.

    Jonas:
    “Isi
    ttr
    ueNt
    ontot
    haty
    oul
    ett
    hatgoodf
    ornot
    hingmanoustmychi
    l
    doutoft
    hehouse?
    AndwhereisAmar
    a?”

    Thel
    ooki
    nhi
    sey
    escommandsanswer
    s.

    Me:
    “It
    ri
    edbhut
    i,y
    ouknowhowMosescanbe.
    ”

    Iwhi
    ne,
    cry
    ing.

    Mhambi:“
    Enoughwi
    thy
    ourexcusesNt
    ombi,t
    ell
    Jonasthewhol
    etruth.Tel
    lhi
    m howyoul
    ost
    AmaraandhowMosesbani
    shedNombulel
    ofrom t
    hehousewhi
    le,
    y oustoodt
    hereand
    wat
    ched.”

    Heshoutsasheshif
    tstotheedgeofthecouch,Mhambi hasn’tbeenthi
    sangrysi
    ncet
    heycame
    here.I
    tappear
    sheislosi
    nghi
    spati
    enceorlostitr
    ather.MaybeIshouldtel
    lthem t
    het
    rut
    h
    aboutAmara.Whati
    fMosesdoesn’tcomeback?And, Iam protecti
    ngsomeonewhois
    probabl
    youtther
    espendi
    nghismoneywithotherwomen.

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ont
    o,Uzokhul
    umanomacha?
    ”(Wi
    l
    lyouspeakornot
    ?)

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    SuddenlyIseemyf atheri
    nhim,heist
    heexactr
    epli
    caofVusamazulu.Thatmanimplant
    ed
    patr
    iar
    chyinmybr others,
    Jonasadapt
    edtoitwhi
    le,
    Mhambi showednoi nt
    eresti
    nbecoming
    themanmyf at
    herwas.

    Me:“
    Ngiyaxol
    i
    sabhut
    i,I
    ’
    m powerl
    esswheni
    tcomestoMoses.Please,
    Itr
    iedt
    opr ot
    ectAmara.
    It
    ookherinasmyownandlovedherbut
    ,Moseshadev
    ilpl
    ansforher.
    ”(I
    ’
    m sorr
    ybrother
    .)

    Theirf
    aceschangeast heylookatmeinantici
    pati
    on,
    youwoul dt
    hinktheyknowwhatIam
    abouttosay.Iheaveasighasmyhear tisbeat
    inghar
    dagainstmychest ,t
    hisrevel
    ati
    onwi
    l
    l
    changeeveryt
    hing.Itwi
    ll
    changehowt heyseemeast hei
    rli
    tt
    lesi
    ster.Ican’
    ttakethei
    r
    condemnatorystaresso,I
    ’mforcedt
    odr opmygazeinshame.

    Me:
    “Moses…gav
    eAmar
    a…away
    .”

    I
    ttakesev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    nmet
    ospi
    l
    loutt
    hisconf
    essi
    on.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ini
    ?”(
    What
    ?)

    Herl
    oudv
    oicef
    il
    lst
    her
    oom

    Jonas:
    “Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”

    Her
    oar
    sandMhambi
    chor
    tl
    es,
    inf
    uri
    ated.

    Jonas:
    “Khul
    uma!
    !!
    ”(Speak.
    )
    Herumblesashechargesatme,IscreechasIj
    oltfrom myseat.Mhambiisalsoonhisfeet
    ,he
    knowswhatJonasiscapabl
    eof.Heisnotafrai
    dtoputany onei
    nt hei
    rpl
    ace,Ihavebeena
    vi
    cti
    m ofhi
    shardhandbeforeandIrefuset
    oletthathappenagain.

    Myf
    eetl
    eadmebackbut
    ,Ican’
    tseem t
    oescapeJonasashekeepsmov
    ingcl
    oserwi
    thev
    ery
    mov
    eImake.

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    Khul
    uma,
    whatdi
    dMosesdowi
    tht
    hatchi
    l
    d?”(
    Speak.
    )

    Myt
    earsseekf
    ull
    att
    enti
    on,Ican’tcont
    rol
    them.Iknowi
    fIl
    ett
    hesedr
    eadf
    ulwor
    dsr
    oll
    outof
    myt
    ongueJonaswil
    lnothesi
    tatetohitme.

    Me:“Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sabhut
    i,Idi
    dn’
    tknowwhatMoseswasplanni
    ng.Heconfessedev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    ome
    af
    terhecamehomethatdayandhadabagful
    lofmoney.”(
    I’
    m sor
    rybr
    other.
    )

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hay
    i,ohJehov
    a.Si
    xol
    elebaba.
    ”(Godf
    orgi
    veus.
    )

    Shescr
    eamsasshecar
    ri
    esherhandsonherhead,
    ali
    tt
    ledr
    amat
    ici
    fyouaskme.

    Mhambi
    :“Abagofmoney
    ?”

    Hebar
    ks,
    shockmar
    kedonhi
    sface.

    Jonas:“
    Ntombi,
    uthewenaMosesgav
    eheraway
    .Isi
    khwamasemal
    isi
    ngenaphi
    manj
    e?”(
    Why
    areyoumenti
    oningabagofmoney
    ?)

    HeknowswhatImeant
    ,hi
    sfacesay
    sit
    .Hej
    ustwant
    smet
    osayi
    tagai
    n.

    Ist
    aggerback,
    myey
    eswi
    denedi
    nfearofwhatmybr
    otherwi
    l
    ldoandt
    ear
    sst
    reaki
    ngmyf
    ace.

    Me:“Jonas,Mhambi Iswear
    .Bengingazingecebolakhe.Ngif
    ungaamathunakaNkosiy
    abo
    kanyenoFiki
    l
    e.Iwil
    lneverdoanythi
    ngt ohurtthei
    rchil
    d.”(
    Ididn’
    tknowanyt
    hingabouthi
    spl
    ans.
    IswearonNkosiyaboandFikil
    e’
    sgr av
    es.)

    Jonassl
    apsmesohar
    dIt
    umbl
    etot
    hef
    loor
    .

    Jonas:
    “Ungal
    ingeubandakanyeumfowet
    hukul
    okhu.Theyhav
    enot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ourev
    il
    waysNtombi.
    ”(Don’
    tyoudar ei
    nvol
    vemybrot
    heri
    nthis?)

    Her
    oar
    s,ashepoi
    ntsanaccusat
    oryf
    ingeratmeandgr
    absmyhand,
    pul
    l
    ingmebackup.

    Jonas:
    “Whatdi
    dyoutwodot oAmaraNtombi?Wheredidt
    hemoneycomef
    rom?Youbet
    ter
    thi
    nkbefor
    eyouanswerorIswear
    ,Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lthepol
    ice.

    I
    ’
    m weepi
    ngnowandmyt
    ear
    sref
    uset
    opl
    eadJonasonmybehal
    f,hei
    snotf
    all
    i
    ngf
    ort
    hem.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    43*

    STYLES*

    Twobl
    ackfemal
    enur
    sesr uni
    nscreaming,
    theyseemest
    andi
    ngwi
    thmybackagai
    nstt
    hewal
    l
    andaguni
    nmyhand,theyatt
    empttorunbackout.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,hey
    .”

    It
    argett
    hegunatt
    hem andt
    heyst
    op.I
    ffearcoul
    dspeak,
    itwoul
    dbecal
    l
    ingoutt
    othem.

    Me:
    “Comeher
    e.”

    Theygl
    anceateachot
    hert
    henbackatme,
    wit
    hthei
    rey
    espoppedoutandshaket
    hei
    rheadsi
    n
    uni
    son.

    Me:
    “Isai
    dcomeher
    e.”

    Oneoft
    hem st
    art
    scr
    ying.

    Nur
    se:
    “Pl
    easesi
    r,pl
    easedon’
    tki
    l
    lus.
    ”

    Shepleadsanditfr
    ust
    ratesmetothecoreplus,theagoni
    zi
    ngbur ni
    ngpai
    nonmywoundadds
    tomyf r
    ustr
    ati
    ons.Mylegsloset
    heircapabi
    li
    tytostandasthelossofsomuchbl
    oodhasmade
    meweak, Il
    etmybodysl i
    dedowntot hefl
    oor.Thegunissti
    ll
    aimedattheset
    wohorr
    if
    ied
    l
    adies.

    Me:
    “Shutupandcomeher
    e.”

    Theyl
    umbert
    owar
    dsmeatmyst
    ri
    ctdemand.

    Me:
    “Ineedt
    ocl
    eanupt
    hiswound,
    getmesomeant
    isept
    icsandbandages.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ruct
    ,shenodsswi
    ft
    lyandmar
    chest
    othecabi
    net
    s.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”

    Nur
    se:
    “Set
    hu.
    ”

    Shest
    utt
    ers,
    herey
    esgl
    i
    steni
    ngwi
    tht
    ear
    s.

    Me:
    “Set
    hu,
    don’
    tbeaf
    rai
    d.Iwon’
    thur
    tyou,
    youseet
    hemenoutt
    her
    e?”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “Theyar
    ever
    ydanger
    ousmen,
    nowIneedy
    ourhel
    p,okay
    ?”

    Shenodsagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Ineedy
    out
    opeekoutt
    her
    eandt
    ell
    mewhaty
    ousee.
    ”
    Set
    hu:
    “Whati
    ftheyseeme?Theywi
    l
    lki
    l
    lme.
    ”

    Me:“
    Theywon’
    tseey
    ou, Ican’
    tmoveduetothi
    spai
    n.You’
    remyonlyhopenowSet
    hu,
    ift
    hose
    mengether
    e,t
    heywi
    llki
    l
    l ever
    yonei
    nthi
    sroom.Doyouunder
    stand?”

    Sher unshereyest
    ot hegroupofpeoplegather
    edatt hecornerthen,
    backatme.Shet
    rai
    l
    s
    them tomyt or
    soandasof tfr
    ownbuildsuponherf ace,sheattemptstol
    if
    tmytopupandI
    pressmyhandoni t.Thereissomuchbl oodoozingthroughthegunwoundandleaki
    ngdown
    myj eans.

    Set
    hu:
    “Iwantt
    oseei
    fit
    ’si
    nfect
    ed.
    ”

    Herl
    i
    psqui
    verasshev
    ali
    dat
    esheri
    nqui
    sit
    ive.

    Me:
    “It
    ’saf
    reshwound.
    ”

    I
    tcan’tbeinfect
    edyet
    ,mybodythoughi
    sswelteri
    ng.Myv
    isi
    oni
    sal
    i
    ttl
    ebl
    urr
    edandIf
    eel
    li
    ght
    -
    headed.Ican’tr
    eal
    l
    ysayIseeagoodendingt
    ot hi
    s.

    Set
    hu:
    “It
    ’sadeepwound,
    youneedt
    ogett
    reat
    edory
    ouwi
    l
    lgoi
    ntoshockanddi
    e.”

    Ifrownatherpredi
    cti
    on,funnyi
    t’
    showIf eel
    rightnow.Icl
    ampmyteethatthebur
    ningand
    sti
    ngingsensat
    ion,
    dribsofsweatareoccasi
    onallyfal
    li
    ngf
    rom myf
    ace.Sherunst
    oanearby
    drawerandcomesbackwi t
    habandageandst artswipi
    ngmysweat
    .Theothernur
    sehurri
    es
    backwiththemedicalki
    tandIgesturet
    hatshehel psme.

    Me:
    “Set
    hu,
    Ineedy
    out
    opeekoutt
    her
    eandt
    ell
    mewhaty
    ousee.
    ”

    “
    Boss,
    let
    ’sgetoutofher
    e.Joj
    ohasbeenbi
    tt
    enbyabl
    ackmamba.
    ”

    Oneoft
    hegoonsshout
    sfr
    ant
    ical
    l
    y,Set
    hukeepsheral
    armedey
    esonme.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Noonei
    sfucki
    nggoi
    ngany
    wher
    e,ki
    l
    lthem i
    fyouhav
    eto.
    ”

    Francoshout
    sandi
    t’
    sfol
    l
    owedbymul
    ti
    plegunshot
    s,Kgot
    sowi
    l
    lhav
    etof
    orgi
    vemef
    ort
    he
    deadsnakes.

    Thet
    urmoi
    landcommot
    ionhasdi
    eddown,
    thewar
    dmustbeempt
    y.

    Fr
    anco:
    “St
    ylesy
    ousi
    cksonofabi
    tch,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lthesesnakesandy
    ournext
    .”

    Me: “
    Iwoul
    dbecarefuli
    fIwereyouFr
    anco.You’
    reinthepr
    esenceoft
    hewor
    ld’
    sdeadl
    i
    est
    snake,t
    heycanbeveryaggr
    essi
    vewhenthreat
    ened.”

    Iyel
    lback,hedoesn’
    trespond.Ionl
    yheargunshotsnow.Thenursedressi
    ngmywoundis
    fi
    dgety,
    herhandsaretrembli
    ngandt ear
    sfl
    owingdownhercheeks.Iwinceatt
    hest
    ingoft
    he
    anti
    septi
    c.

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyour
    elax?You’
    reanur
    sef
    orgoodness’
    ssake.
    ”

    Ibar
    katherduet
    otheagoni
    zi
    ngpai
    n,sheshr
    ieks.Dammi
    t!

    Set
    hu:
    “Lebor
    elax,
    it’
    sokay
    .”
    Set
    hucomf
    ort
    sherandshenods,
    wipeshert
    ear
    sandcont
    inues.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easecheckandt
    ell
    mewhaty
    ousee.
    ”

    Shedi
    psherheadt
    hrought
    hedoor
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Ther
    e’sawhi
    teman,
    he’
    sal
    oneandhe’
    scomi
    ngt
    hisway
    .”

    Sheexpl
    ains.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hatal
    l
    ?”

    Set
    hu:
    “Besi
    dest
    hesnakessl
    i
    ther
    ingar
    ound,
    yest
    hat
    ’sal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tyouhav
    esomet
    hingst
    rongf
    ort
    hepai
    n?”

    IaskLebo,Ican’
    tbaret
    hepai
    nanymor
    e.Shenodsandrunsbackt
    othemedi
    cinecabi
    net
    .My
    phoneri
    ngs,ItmustbeNkomo,t
    ookhi
    mlongenough.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easegetmyphonef
    orme.
    ”

    Sethuramsherhandinmylef
    tpocketandcomesoutwi
    thmyphone,
    sheswi
    pest
    hef
    lashi
    ng
    greenbutt
    onandplacesi
    tonmyear.

    Nkomo: “Whatt
    hehell
    ishappeni
    ngStyl
    es?Peopl
    earegatheredoutsi
    de,
    sayi
    ngthere’
    sa
    shootouti
    nther
    eandsnakesallar
    oundthehospi
    tal
    .Ther
    ear enewsanchor
    severywhere.Do
    youreali
    sewhatthi
    smeans?Thepoli
    cewill
    behereanymi nutenow.”

    Nkomoi
    stoonegat
    ivef
    ormyl
    i
    king.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lpr
    obabl
    ybedeadbyt
    het
    imet
    heygether
    e.”

    Il
    augh.

    Nkomo:
    “Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”

    Me:“Iwashi
    t,Fr
    ancoisonestepawayfrom mebut
    ,that
    ’snotapr
    obl
    em.Iwon’
    tgodown
    wi
    thoutafi
    ght,I
    ’
    mt aki
    ngthatfuckerwi
    thme.”

    Nkomo:
    “No,
    youcannotdi
    e,r
    ememberwhyy
    ou’
    ret
    her
    e.”

    Her
    emi
    ndsmewhyI
    ’
    m doi
    ngt
    his,
    Ican’
    tfai
    lRandal
    l
    .Ihav
    etogetAmar
    a.

    Me:“Youneedtogether
    eNkomo,i
    fyoufi
    ndmepassedout
    .Doany
    thi
    ngt
    obr
    ingmebackokay
    ?
    St
    ylesSi
    shiisnotgoi
    ngoutl
    i
    keacoward.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “I’
    m comi
    ng.
    ”

    Imot
    iont
    hatSet
    hudr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’sagl
    asst
    ubei
    nmypocket
    ,pl
    easet
    akei
    tout
    .”

    ShedoesasIsay
    .

    Me:
    “Iwanty
    out
    othr
    owt
    hisoutt
    hedoorwi
    thf
    orce,
    makesur
    eyousmashi
    tagai
    nstt
    hewal
    l
    .
    Then,
    shutt
    hedoori
    mmedi
    atel
    y.
    ”

    Herey
    eswi
    den.

    Set
    hu:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?Isi
    tabomb?Ican’
    tdoi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thosesnakesoutt
    her
    ewi
    l
    lsoongether
    e,i
    fyouwantt
    obesaf
    ethen,
    youwi
    l
    ldoasIsay
    .”

    Shegul
    ps,
    hesi
    tant
    lyget
    supandt
    hrowst
    hegl
    assout
    ,Iheari
    tbr
    eak.

    Sheshut
    sthedoorandsquat
    sinf
    rontofme,
    herhandsar
    eshaki
    ngwi
    thf
    ear
    .

    Fr
    anco:
    “Funcul
    o!!
    !Whati
    s…”(
    Fuck.
    )

    Hi
    svoi
    cedi
    mini
    shes,
    thesmokehasknockedhi
    m out
    .

    Me:
    “IfIpassout
    ,Iwanty
    out
    ouseadef
    ibr
    il
    lat
    ort
    obr
    ingmeback.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mlosi
    ngmyst
    rengt
    hwi
    thev
    erywor
    dIut
    ter
    ,thankf
    ull
    yFr
    ancohasbeendeal
    twi
    th.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m notadoct
    orsi
    r,Imi
    ghtev
    enl
    osemyj
    ob.
    ”

    Shepani
    cs.

    Me:“Iwil
    lmakesur
    ethatdoesn’
    thappen,
    rememberwhatIsai
    dSet
    hu.Thosemenar
    e
    danger
    ousandI’
    mt heonl
    yonewhocanst opthem.
    ”

    Shenodsbut,t
    her
    eissomuchdoubtwri
    tt
    enonherf ace.If
    eelmyselfdr
    if
    ti
    ngi
    ntoadeepsl
    eep
    but
    ,themissi
    onathandkeepsbr
    ingi
    ngmeback.IdoubtIwil
    ll
    astlong.

    AMARA*

    Theoldmancomesr unni
    ngbackin,hedrawsoutagunandpeoplei
    nthewar dst
    artscreaming
    andrunningforcov
    er,i
    mmediatel
    ytherearesoundsofgunshot
    soutsi
    detheroom.Itrytoget
    mypainfulbodyoutofbedbut,
    hegrabsmyar m, st
    oppi
    ngmef r
    om moving.

    Hi
    m:“
    Youneedt
    ocomewi
    thme.
    ”

    Hecommandsf
    rant
    ical
    l
    y,Isnat
    chmyar
    mfr
    om hi
    m.

    Me:
    “Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Him:
    “Amar
    athi
    sisf
    ory
    ourowngood,
    themenIt
    oldy
    ouaboutar
    eher
    e.Theywantt
    otakey
    ou
    away
    .”

    Randal
    li
    nst
    ant
    lyf
    il
    lsmymi
    ndbut
    ,Iknowi
    tcan’
    tbehi
    m becauseIwat
    chedhi
    m di
    e.

    Me:
    “Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ou,
    Idon’
    tev
    enknowy
    ou.
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Itol
    dyout
    haty
    ourf
    atherwasmyf
    ri
    end,
    mygoal
    ist
    opr
    otecty
    ou.
    ”
    Thet
    oneofhi
    svoi
    cesay
    sthathei
    slosi
    nghi
    spat
    ience.

    Me:“Idon’
    tbeli
    eveyou,
    Iwastol
    dabouty ourl
    i
    es.Justbecauseyoushowedmeaphot
    ogr
    aph
    ofy
    oust andi
    ngnexttomyfat
    her,doesn’
    tmeanthatIcantrusty
    ouwithmyli
    fe.
    ”

    Hegr
    absmyar
    m agai
    n,t
    hist
    imepul
    l
    ingmeof
    fthebed.

    Me:
    “You’
    rehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”

    Iy
    elpi
    npai
    n,buthedoesn’
    theedt
    omycr
    ynordoesher
    ecogni
    zet
    hef
    actt
    hatIam i
    njur
    edand
    i
    nsomuchpain.

    Myheadspi
    nsandmykneesar
    ewobbl
    yasmyf
    eethi
    tthegr
    ound.Ial
    mostf
    all
    ,hecat
    chesme
    andt
    hrowsmeacoat
    .

    Hi
    m:“
    Weart
    his.
    ”

    Iputi
    tonassl
    owasIcan,
    ever
    yli
    mbi
    nmybodyhur
    tswi
    thev
    erymov
    e.

    Il
    ookatt
    hedoct
    orwhoi
    shi
    dingunderabed,
    hisf
    acei
    sthatofhor
    ror
    .Iunder
    standt
    hisman
    hasagunbut
    ,al
    it
    tl
    ehel
    pwi
    ll
    do.

    Hel
    ugsmet
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    ,someonepushesi
    topenandhel
    urchesback.

    St
    ylesl
    impsinandaimshi
    sgunatt
    heoldmanwhohookshi
    sar
    msar
    oundmyneckandpul
    l
    s
    mei nf
    rontofhi
    m,usi
    ngmeasashiel
    d.

    St
    yles:
    “Hi
    dingbehi
    ndawomanmkhul
    u?Shame.
    ”

    Hemockswi
    thasmirkonhi
    sface.Helooksweakandpal
    e,hi
    shandsandcl
    othesar
    ecov
    ered
    i
    nbl
    oodandIswearhewoul
    dfallanysecondnow.

    Hi
    m:“
    Youar
    enomat
    chf
    ormeSi
    shi
    ,l
    ookaty
    ou?Youcan’
    tev
    enst
    andst
    rai
    ght
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Youshoul
    dknowbynowt
    hatInev
    ergodownwi
    thoutaf
    ight
    ,handherov
    erMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Hecommandswi
    thgr
    eataut
    hor
    it
    y,t
    hisMkhi
    zemanl
    aughs.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youmustbestupi
    dify
    outhinkIwi
    ll
    dothat
    ,Amar
    aiscomingwi
    thme.Whatwil
    lyou
    dowi
    thherany
    way,Okol
    iei
    sdead.Sheisnouset
    oyouandIknowshei
    sn’
    tyourt
    ype.
    ”

    St
    yleshasal
    i
    ttl
    esmugsmi
    l
    eonhi
    sface,
    Iwi
    shIknewt
    her
    easonbehi
    ndi
    t.

    Iam disgust
    edbythewordscomingoutofMkhize’
    smout h,
    myhear tthudsagai
    nstmychestas
    Iam remindedofRandal
    l
    ’sdeat
    h.Thethoughtofnotseei
    nghim againissuf
    focat
    ing.

    Styl
    es:“Asy
    oucanseeMkhize,Idon’
    thavemucht
    ime.Onethi
    ngIknowisthatIam notl
    eav
    ing
    thi
    splacewit
    houtt
    hisgi
    rl
    .So,ar
    ewegoi ngt
    odothi
    stheeasywayorthehardway?”

    Mkhize:“
    Youmustbel
    osi
    ngy
    ourmi
    ndi
    fyout
    hinkIam i
    nti
    midat
    edbyy
    ourt
    hreat
    sSi
    shi
    ,you
    hav
    el ost
    ,gi
    vei
    tup.
    ”

    IseeFr
    ancol
    eisur
    elywal
    kinwi
    thagunpoi
    ntedatSt
    yles.
    Fr
    anco:
    “Dr
    opi
    tdi
    ckhead.
    ”

    “
    Youdr
    opi
    tdi
    mwi
    t.
    ”

    I
    t’
    sNkomo,hepresseshisgunonFranco’
    shead.Iam dumbf
    oundedt
    hathei
    sst
    il
    lar
    ound,
    I
    hav
    en’
    tseenhi
    m sincetheatt
    ackandInevercar
    edtoaskhowhewasdoing.

    St
    yles:
    “Howdi
    dyouescapet
    hesmokey
    oushi
    thead?Youshoul
    dhav
    eyourmemor
    ywi
    pedout
    .”

    St
    ylesgr
    owl
    sandFr
    ancoi
    sti
    ckl
    edbyhi
    swor
    dsasaconcei
    tedl
    aughev
    adeshi
    smout
    h.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Youar
    enott
    heonl
    yonewi
    thbr
    ainsSt
    yles.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Fr
    ancoshoott
    hisi
    diot
    .”

    Mkhizecommands,I
    ’m st
    andingherebaf
    fl
    edbyever
    y t
    hingthatishappeni
    ng.Havi
    ngagun
    poi
    ntedatyouandnotknowingift
    odayyouwil
    lbr
    eathemyl ast.I
    talmostfeel
    sli
    keamov i
    e,
    any
    timenowsomeonewi ll
    saycut.ThisMkhi
    zewaslyingtomeal lal
    ong,Randal
    lwasr
    ight.

    Nkomo:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tdot
    hati
    fIwer
    eyou.
    ”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youar
    eadi
    sgr
    acet
    othef
    ami
    l
    yNkomo.Howl
    ongwi
    l
    lyoubet
    hisboy
    ’sl
    apdog?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Youdonotgett
    otal
    ktomey
    oubast
    ard.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    s,Isenseal
    ott
    ensi
    onbet
    weent
    hem.

    St
    yles:
    “Thi
    sisnot
    imef
    oraf
    ami
    l
    yreuni
    on,
    Iam l
    osi
    ngmypat
    ienceol
    dman.
    ”

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    letmego.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadbut
    ,mycr
    yfal
    l
    sondeafear
    s.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Dr
    opt
    hegunSi
    shi
    .”

    Styl
    eshasthi
    ssmugl
    ookofv
    ict
    ory
    ,Idon’
    tunder
    standi
    tbut
    ,heknowshei
    swal
    ki
    ngoutofher
    e
    tr
    iumphant
    .

    Mkhi
    zebur
    stsouti
    naf
    itofl
    aught
    erwhi
    chl
    eav
    esev
    ery
    oneconf
    used.

    Mkhize:
    “Youpeoplearest
    upid.Doyoureall
    ythi
    nkthatIwil
    lgi
    veherupsoeasi
    ly
    ?Ihavewai
    ted
    fort
    hismomentandnowt hatIhaveher
    , I
    ’
    m notbackingdownSishi
    .Mybrot
    herdiedt
    ryi
    ngt
    o
    bri
    nghertome,hisdeathwil
    lnotbeinv
    ain.”

    Idi
    dn’tknowthedr
    iverdi
    ed,
    Francoescapedwi
    thaf
    ewscr
    atchesandIt
    houghtt
    hesamet
    hing
    happenedwit
    hhim.

    Styl
    es:
    “Yourbrot
    her’
    sdeathi
    snotthelastofitMkhize,theOkol
    i
    esareravi
    ngmad.Theyseek
    rev
    engeforthei
    rson.Youseethi
    srai
    noutside?It
    ’sevidenceoft
    hei
    rwrath.
    ”

    I
    tissti
    llr
    aini
    ngoutside,
    Ihear
    dsomenur sescomplai
    ningabouttherai
    n.Somesayi
    ngthei
    r
    t
    ownshipsareasdr yasadesertwhi
    l
    e,somesaiditwashardf orthem t
    oleav
    ethehouseduet
    o
    t
    hefloodedstreet
    s.
    Franco:“
    YouAfr
    icanshavetojust
    if
    yevery
    thi
    ngwit
    htradi
    ti
    on,t
    hat’
    sbullshi
    t.Ar
    ethesnakesa
    partofyourv
    oodoopract
    isesaswell?Canyoubel
    i
    evethi
    sfuckerr
    eleasedsnakesal
    loverthe
    hospit
    al?”

    Hestat
    es,quest
    ionsandr
    eveal
    sashepokeshi
    sgunonSty
    les’
    head,
    Sty
    lesgr
    owl
    sandshoot
    s
    hi
    m acoldstar
    e.Nkomodoesthesamethi
    ngtoFr
    anco.

    Nkomo:
    “Yey
    ,yey
    ,mgodoy
    i.Shuty
    ourpi
    ehol
    e.”(
    Bast
    ard.
    )

    Fr
    anco:
    “Fucky
    ou.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    s.

    Mkhize:
    “YouknowmeSishi,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotv
    aci
    l
    lat
    ebet
    weenki
    l
    li
    ngherandwal
    ki
    ngoutofher
    ewi
    th
    her
    .Ihavenot
    hingt
    olose.
    ”

    Hethr
    eatensandIknowi
    t’
    sover
    ,Styl
    escl
    ampshisj
    aw.It
    hinkheknowst
    her
    eisnoot
    herway
    out
    ,helooksatmeandIseer
    egretonhi
    sface.

    St
    yles:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    Hesi
    gnst
    hewor
    dswi
    thhi
    smout
    h.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Theroom i
    ssil
    entandonl
    ymysobsareheard,
    ev er
    yoneislooki
    ngatme,
    wai
    ti
    ngf
    ormy
    expl
    anat
    ion.I
    tpai
    nsmet othi
    nkt
    hatt
    hiswil
    lbreakthei
    rhearts.

    Jonas:
    “Don’
    tfor
    cemyhandagai
    nsi
    swam’
    Iam l
    osi
    ngmypat
    ience.
    ”

    Her
    oar
    sashegr
    absmyar
    msandshakesmev
    igor
    ousl
    y.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,okay
    .”

    Iscr
    eam cr
    yandhel
    etsgo.

    Me:“Jonasplease,
    li
    stentomebhut
    iwam’Ihadnoparti
    nthi
    s.Idi
    dn’
    tknowMoseswas
    pl
    anningtosellAmaratosomemen.Heonl
    yexplai
    nedwhenIaskedhi
    m wher
    ehegotsomuch
    moneyfrom.”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    OhNkosi
    yami
    .”(
    OhmyGod.
    )

    Shescreams,buryi
    ngherf
    aceinherhands.Mhambidropsdownonhi
    skneesandsobsquiet
    ly
    andJonasisgobsmacked,shocki
    sevidentonhi
    sface.Hi
    schesti
    sri
    singandf
    all
    i
    ngunderhi
    st
    -shi
    rtwhi
    lehelooksatmeli
    keIkil
    l
    edsomeone.

    Jonas:
    “Iwashopingy
    ouwoul
    dsaysomet
    hingel
    sebut
    ,thi
    s?Ai
    ungi
    phoxi
    l
    emt
    akababa.
    ”(You
    havedi
    sappoi
    ntedmemysist
    er.
    )

    Me:
    “Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sabhut
    iJonas.
    ”(I
    ’
    m sor
    rybr
    otherJonas.
    )
    Jonas:
    “Uxol
    i
    saamasi
    mba,
    Iam ashamedt
    hatweshar
    ethesamef
    atherNt
    ombi
    .”

    Hebarksatme,al
    lIcandoiscr
    yandi thur
    tsthatMhambi
    issobbi
    ngaswel
    l
    .Iknowhi
    mtobe
    st
    rongandver
    ypriv
    ate,Ihav
    eneverseenhim cry
    .

    Me:“Mhambi,ungakhal
    i
    .Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sabhut
    i,ngi
    cel
    auxol
    o.”(
    Pleasedon’
    tcr
    yMhambi
    ,I
    ’m sor
    ry.
    Pl
    easefor
    giv
    eme. )

    Ibeseechi
    ntear
    s.

    Petuni
    arushest omeandslapsmeacrossmyf ace,Idi
    dn’tseeitcomi ng.I
    tev
    okessomuch
    angerinmet hatIt
    rytoj
    umpatherbut
    , Jonaspushesmeback, t hrowingmeont hef
    loor.Il
    ook
    upathimlikeachildwhoisbei
    ngscol
    dedbyherf at
    her,thehatei nhiseyespi
    ercest
    hroughmy
    soul.

    Jonas:“
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    opayf
    ort
    hisNt
    ombi
    ,asf
    orMoses,
    Iwi
    l
    lshowhi
    m howpeopl
    ear
    e
    tr
    eated.
    ”

    Hi
    swor
    dssendawav
    eofpai
    ninmyhear
    t,Ikneel
    bef
    orehi
    m.

    Me:“Bhut
    i,IknowMoseshasdonestupi
    dthi
    ngsi
    nhi
    sli
    feandmadesomanymi
    stakesbut
    ,
    pl
    easesparehim.I
    twasami st
    akebhuti
    .”

    IknowJonas,
    hewi
    l
    lhav
    eMoseski
    l
    led.Pet
    uni
    acackl
    esl
    oudl
    y.

    Petuni
    a:“
    Yohhay
    i,yi
    fi
    li
    ml e.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evemyear
    s,Ntombiar
    eyouser
    iousl
    ypl
    eadingfort
    he
    l
    if
    eofMoses?Afterever
    ythinghehasdoneNt
    ombi?
    ”(Thi
    sisascenef
    rom amovie.)

    Me:
    “Youwon’
    tunder
    standPet
    uni
    abecausey
    ourl
    i
    fei
    sper
    fect
    .”

    Shei
    sal
    way
    squi
    ckt
    ojudgemeandIhat
    eher
    .

    Jonas:“ShutupNtombi,shutup.Youaresti
    lldi
    srespectf
    ulaft
    erwhatyouhavedone?Iwill
    deal
    withMoseshowIpl easeandy oubett
    ernotsayany thi
    ngtohim orIswearNt
    ombi,Iwil
    ldi
    sown
    you.Iwil
    lmakesur et
    hewhol efamil
    ywil
    ldisowny ou,uzosal
    anoMoseswakho.That ’
    sifhewil
    l
    sti
    ckaroundbecauseIdon’tseethismarr
    iagemov ingforwar
    d.”(Moseswil
    lbetheonl
    yone
    you’l
    lbelef
    twith.
    )

    Mhambi:
    “Jonas,
    wehav et
    odosomething.Wehavet
    obri
    ngourchi
    l
    dhome,
    Ican’
    tev
    en
    i
    maginewhatsheisgoi
    ngthr
    ough.Whattheyar
    edoi
    ngt
    oher.
    ”

    Hebr
    eaksi
    ntoanot
    hersob,
    Pet
    uni
    atoddl
    est
    ohi
    m andst
    art
    spat
    ti
    nghi
    sshoul
    der
    .

    Jonas:“Don’
    tworryMhambi
    ,onceIam donewi
    thMoses,
    hewi
    l
    lcomet
    ouswi
    l
    li
    ngl
    yand
    confessever
    ythi
    ng.

    Hedeclareswhil
    eglari
    ngatme, Iseetheser
    iousnessi
    nhi
    sfaceandIam af
    rai
    dformy
    husband.Iunderst
    andthatwhathedidiswrongandheshoul
    dbepunishedbutMosesi
    snaï
    ve.
    Heisnotashar mfulastheyper
    ceivehimtobe.
    Tobecont
    inued.
    ..
    .
    44*

    RANDALL*

    “
    Uzewakeup.
    ”

    Iopenmyey
    est
    omeetmygr
    andf
    ather
    ’sf
    ace.Whati
    shedoi
    ngher
    e?

    Me:
    “Nana?
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Hehel
    psmeupandwal
    kst
    osi
    tar
    oundabonf
    ir
    e,i
    twasn’
    ther
    ebef
    ore.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    ComeJoi
    nme.
    ”

    Hewav
    eshi
    shandandIdoast
    old.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Ihav
    enev
    erbeent
    hisconf
    usedi
    nmyl
    i
    fe.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Youar
    ewher
    eyoubel
    ongnowUze.
    ”

    Me:“Idon’
    tunder
    stand,
    nanaIhav
    ebeenst
    ucki
    nthi
    sisol
    atedpl
    acef
    ormont
    hsnow,
    ifnota
    year
    .Iwanttogohome.”

    Thi
    sdar
    kpl
    acehasmef
    eel
    i
    nggl
    oomyandal
    one.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    It
    ’sonl
    ybeenaf
    ewday
    sUze.
    ”

    Hesay
    s,t
    her
    eisnosenseofemer
    gencyi
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Howi
    sthatev
    enpossi
    ble?Coul
    dIhav
    ecal
    cul
    atedwr
    ong?

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Thi
    sist
    hespi
    ri
    treal
    m,adayf
    eel
    sli
    keanet
    erni
    tyher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Iheary
    ou.But
    ,whyam Iher
    e?”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Itol
    dyouUze,
    thi
    siswher
    eyoubel
    ong.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyousay
    ingt
    hatI
    ’
    m dead?
    ”

    Okol
    ie:
    “No,yoursouli
    sbeingkepther
    e.Yourancest
    orsareangr
    yUze.Youranf
    rom y
    our
    r
    esponsibi
    l
    iti
    es,
    leavi
    ngtur
    moilandanguishbehi
    nd.Yourpeopl
    eneedyou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam nott
    heonl
    ysonofOkol
    i
    e,Uzomai
    sol
    dert
    hanme.Heshoul
    dbeappoi
    ntedmonar
    ch.
    ”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Uzomadoesnothav
    etheOkol
    i
    ebl
    oodr
    unni
    ngi
    nhi
    svei
    ns.
    ”

    Her
    eveal
    sasecr
    etandIam shockedatt
    hisr
    evel
    ati
    on.
    Me:
    “How?Doesagy
    aknow?
    ”(Fat
    her
    ?)

    Okol
    ie:
    “Heknows,
    onl
    ytheki
    dsar
    ekepti
    nthedar
    k.Yourf
    atheri
    sonhi
    swayt
    oyourhouse
    Uze.
    ”

    Heut
    ter
    sandIcan’
    tacceptt
    his.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twanthi
    minmyhousenana.
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Youhav
    enochoi
    ce,
    ifhedoesn’
    tgett
    her
    eyouwi
    l
    ldi
    e.”

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    drat
    herdi
    ethen.
    ”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Andspendal
    let
    erni
    tywonder
    ingar
    oundt
    hismount
    ain,
    li
    keal
    ostspi
    ri
    t?”

    Hej
    usthadt
    opai
    nti
    t.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    hatmanany
    wher
    enearme.
    ”

    Okol
    i
    e:“Thi
    nkofthepeopleyoul
    eftbehi
    ndUze,
    theywi
    l
    lper
    ishwi
    thouty
    ou.Youar
    ether
    ope
    t
    hathol
    dsthem al
    ltoget
    her.
    ”

    Mymi
    ndi
    mmedi
    atel
    yremi
    ndsmeofaf
    ami
    l
    iarf
    aceIhav
    ebeent
    ryi
    ngsohar
    dtor
    ecal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Amar
    a.”

    Iwhi
    sperhernameout
    .

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Youwentabouti
    tthewr
    ongwayUze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwast
    ryi
    ngt
    opr
    otecther
    .”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Andy
    ourhear
    tpul
    l
    edy
    out
    oher
    ,youl
    oveher
    .”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tsayt
    hat
    .”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Youdon’
    thav
    etosayi
    t,y
    ourhear
    tspeaksf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Hei
    sexagger
    ati
    ngi
    t.

    Me:
    “Theyt
    ookhernana.HowdoIsav
    eher
    ?”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Don’
    twor
    ry,
    shewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thatdoesn’
    tcomf
    ortme.
    ”

    Het
    it
    ter
    s.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Iknowbut
    ,cal
    myourhear
    t.I
    t’
    snewt
    othi
    shence,
    yousuckatusi
    ngi
    t.
    ”

    Hemustf
    indhi
    msel
    ffunny
    .

    Okoli
    e:“Youhav
    ealway
    sbeeni
    mmunet
    ofeel
    i
    ngs,
    that
    ’swhyi
    twassoeasyf
    ory
    out
    oleav
    e
    yourfamil
    ybehi
    nd.
    ”

    Me:
    “If
    eltsuf
    focat
    edbyt
    hem,
    theyex
    pect
    edt
    oomuchf
    rom me.Agy
    atr
    eat
    edmel
    i
    keIwasa
    r
    obot
    ,hewant
    edmet
    obeper
    fect
    .”(
    Fat
    her
    .)

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Hewaswr
    ongonhi
    spar
    t,t
    hingsar
    edi
    ff
    erentnowUze.Youdon’
    thav
    etor
    unany
    mor
    e.”

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oumeant
    hingsar
    edi
    ff
    erent
    ?”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Thatgi
    rlbr
    okedownt
    hewal
    l
    syoubui
    l
    t,shei
    syourchosenone.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dthi
    nkt
    haty
    ouandSt
    ylesar
    etwi
    ns,
    yousoundl
    i
    kehi
    mri
    ghtnow.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Okolie:“Youaretheonl yoneobli
    vi
    oustowhati shappeningaroundyou,openyourheartand
    stopf i
    ghti
    ngy ourfeeli
    ngs.Yes,
    youcanr ul
    ethekingdom but,i
    twon’tbepossibl
    ewithouther.
    Youwi llbeadespondentKi ngandeventual
    lyrunawaylikeyoudi dy
    earsago.Thatishowy ou
    will
    spendy ourlif
    e, r
    unningaway.Happi
    nesswi l
    lneverfi
    ndy ou,nomatterhowmuchy ouwi sh
    forit
    .Yourwi sheswi l
    lfal
    londeafear
    s.”

    I’
    m notsureIknowhowIfeel
    abouthiswords,
    thethoughtofbei
    ngwit
    houtAmarais
    suffocat
    ing.Whywoul
    dIbewithouther
    ?Iwil
    lneverl
    etheroutofmysi
    ght,notev
    endeat
    hwi
    l
    l
    takeherfrom me.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Youwoul
    dki
    l
    lyour
    sel
    fjustt
    opr
    ovet
    odeat
    hthati
    tcannotdef
    eaty
    ou?
    ”

    Hest
    atesasi
    fher
    eadmymi
    nd.

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Youhavealway
    sgottenwhatyouwantandyourst
    ubbornnessknowsnobounds,
    but
    r
    ememberUze.Don’
    tmist
    akeyouregofory
    ourhear
    t,i
    twil
    lbeyourdownfall
    .”

    Hedecl
    aresandI
    ’
    mlef
    tper
    plexedbyhi
    swor
    ds.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyouher
    e?”

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Onl
    yyourf
    athercanbr
    ingy
    ouback,
    remembert
    oli
    stent
    oyourhear
    t.
    ”

    Heget
    supandwal
    ksawaywi
    thoutt
    urni
    ngback.Hecompl
    etel
    yignor
    edmyquest
    ion.

    KHETHU*

    “
    I’
    m sor
    rybut
    ,youcannotseej
    udgeMdl
    uli
    .Hehasbeent
    ransf
    err
    edt
    othemaxi
    mum pr
    ison.
    ”

    Thepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cer
    ’swor
    dsshockme.

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Dad:
    “Onwhosecommand?
    ”

    Myf
    atherj
    umpsi
    n.
    Pol
    ice:
    “Themini
    sterofPol
    icesi
    r,hegavest
    rictcommandst
    hatt
    hejudgeshoul
    dbetr
    ansfer
    red
    wit
    himmediat
    eeffectandundernocir
    cumstancesshoul
    dhebeal
    lowedtomeetwi
    thanyone.”

    Me:“Thati
    sinsane,
    itdoesn’
    tev
    enmakesense.Hehasn’
    tbeenpr
    ovengui
    l
    tyy
    et,
    thatmeanshe
    i
    sinnocent
    .”

    Ishoutandturnheadsasever
    yoneatt
    hest
    ati
    ongl
    areatmel
    i
    keIam l
    osi
    ngmymi
    nd.Factof
    thematteri
    s,Iam l
    osingmymind.

    Dad:
    “Rel
    axKhet
    hu,
    wewi
    l
    lfi
    xthi
    s.”

    IspotNobay
    enisi
    tt
    ingonachairwi
    thherar
    msfol
    dedacrossherchestandasmugsmi
    l
    e
    keepi
    nghercompany.Sheget
    sup,assheseesmemarchingt
    oher.

    Me:
    “Youdi
    dthi
    s,di
    dn’
    tyou?Youpul
    l
    edsomest
    ri
    ngsandgotmygr
    andf
    athert
    ransf
    err
    ed.
    ”

    Shecackl
    es.

    Nobayeni
    :“OhBri
    dgett
    e,IwishIcoul
    dtakethecr
    edit
    .Imustcommendwhoev
    erdi
    dthi
    sthough.
    Imean,evenIdon’
    thavesuchcontact
    s,consi
    der
    ingall
    themoneyIhav
    e.”

    Me:
    “Youar
    ely
    ing.
    ”

    Ishout
    ,Ican’
    tst
    op.Iam sol
    i
    vid.

    Nobayeni
    :“DoIhav
    ear
    easont
    oli
    e?I
    ’
    m gl
    adI
    ’
    m nott
    heonl
    yonewhoseeshi
    mfort
    hemonst
    er
    heis.
    ”

    Shel
    aughsandt
    hatj
    ustsendsmet
    othef
    inal
    li
    mit
    .

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    syourpr
    obl
    em?
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    ,asIchar
    geatherandmyf
    atherpul
    l
    smeback.

    Dad:
    “That
    ’si
    t,I
    ’
    m done.Yout
    woar
    epi
    ssi
    ngmeof
    fnow.
    ”

    Hepr
    ocl
    aimswi
    thaut
    hor
    it
    y.

    Me:
    “But
    ,dad.
    ..
    ”

    Dad:“GohomeKhet
    hu,
    Iwi
    l
    lseewhatIcandor
    egar
    dingy
    ourgr
    andf
    ather
    .I’
    l
    lcal
    lyouwhenI
    hearsomethi
    ng.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Yeah,
    gohomeBr
    idget
    te.Youhav
    enobusi
    nessbei
    ngher
    e.”

    Thi
    swi
    tch.

    Me:
    “Hewi
    l
    lneedal
    awy
    er,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ocal
    lMbongeni
    .”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“That‘
    l
    egal
    wise’
    lawy
    erwi
    l
    lnotgethi
    m outoft
    hismess,
    trustme,
    hei
    sdoomed.
    ”

    Shesay
    swi
    thsomuchpr
    ideandar
    rogance.

    Dad:
    “Gokhet
    hu.
    ”
    Khet
    hu:
    “Someonewi
    l
    lhav
    etocal
    lugogoandt
    ell
    her
    .”

    Dad:
    “Yourmot
    herwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Nobayeni
    roll
    sherey
    eswhi
    l
    eshehol
    dsaconcei
    tedat
    ti
    tude.Ihav
    etogetoutofher
    ebef
    oreI
    at
    tackher.

    AMARA*

    Mkhizemov esinthedir
    ectionofthedoor,hi
    sarmisstil
    lti
    ght
    lyhookedar
    oundmyneckanda
    gunpressedonmyt emple.FrancopushesNkomot owardsSt
    ylesandhebumpsonhim.St
    yles
    wincesinpainandpushesNkomoaway .Theybot
    hstil
    lhavet
    heirgunsdr
    awnout
    ,weexitt
    he
    doorenter
    ingthecorri
    dor.

    Sty
    lesi
    sf ol
    lowi
    ngus,hi
    sblackst
    areisf
    ixedonMkhi
    zewhil
    eNkomokeepshi
    sonFr anco.
    Sty
    leskeepssteal
    inggl
    ancesatme,asi
    fassuri
    ngmethati
    t’
    sgoi
    ngt
    obeokay,Idon’tknowi
    fI
    cantr
    ustthatri
    ghtnow.

    Hi
    scrimsonbloodisleavi
    ngtrai
    lsofhi
    sbigfootpr
    int
    sbehind.I
    ’
    m stunnedbyhowhei
    sstil
    l
    al
    iv
    e,hisl
    ipsarepalewhiteandhecan’
    twalkwithouthol
    dingontothewall
    .Nkomonot
    iceshi
    s
    weaknessandmov esclosertohel
    phim but
    ,Sty
    lespusheshim of
    f.

    We’rearemov i
    ngbackwar
    ds,faci
    ngStyl
    esandNkomo.Fr ancoisworki
    ngasashiel
    d,ashei
    s
    toi
    li
    ngbackwardsinfr
    ontofus.Hisgunreadyf
    oranyt
    hing.Isteponsomethi
    ngsqui
    shyand
    sli
    my ,
    Ican’
    tlookdownbecauseofthegunpressedonmyhead.

    Aswemov emoresteps, Iseethem.Snakesbut,t


    heyaren’
    tmov i
    ng.Theyl
    ookreal
    thoughand
    theyf
    eltr
    ealundermyf eet,Iscream asIst
    eponmor e.Myheartisraci
    ngf
    astandinmywildest
    i
    maginati
    onIcan’ti
    magi newhyt her
    earesnakesatt
    hehospit
    al?

    St
    yles:
    “Rel
    axAmar
    a,i
    t’
    sokay
    .”

    Heguar
    ant
    eesme.Howdoesheknowt
    hati
    t’
    sokay
    ?

    Nkomo:
    “Thatguyi
    ssupposedt
    ocol
    l
    ectt
    hem bef
    oret
    heycome-t
    o,wher
    ethehel
    li
    she?
    ”

    Nkomodeclar
    esogli
    ngatSt
    ylesl
    i
    kehe’scrazy
    ,St
    ylesdoesn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ng.Hi
    sey
    esar
    e
    engr
    ossedontheset
    womenwhoar eluri
    ngmeaway .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youar
    eat
    hreatt
    ohumani
    tySi
    shi
    ,Ishoul
    drepor
    tyout
    otheaut
    hor
    it
    ies.
    ”

    St
    ylessmi
    rksathi
    m.

    St
    yles:“
    Theny
    oushoul
    dknowt
    hatIwi
    l
    lnotl
    etgoeasi
    l
    ymkhul
    u,dammi
    t!Ishoul
    d’v
    eki
    l
    ledy
    ou
    l
    asttime.
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youwon’
    tmakei
    toutoft
    hishospi
    tal
    ali
    ve,
    you’
    readeadmanwal
    ki
    ngSi
    shi
    .”
    Franco:“
    Yourst
    ubbor
    nnessi
    ssomet
    hingt
    oadmi
    reSt
    yles,
    atl
    easty
    ouwi
    l
    lgodownwi
    tha
    bang.”

    Hel
    aughsoutl
    oud.

    Nkomo:“Areyouev
    eninthi
    scountr
    ylegall
    yyoupieceofshi
    t?St
    yles,
    Ithi
    nkweshoul
    dcal
    l
    i
    mmi gr
    ati
    on.Someonehasover
    stayedthei
    rvi
    sit
    .”

    Nkomosuggestswhi
    chaggr
    avatesFranco,
    heshoot
    sbet
    weenNkomo’ sfeetandIscr
    eam at
    t
    heloudpi
    erci
    ngsoundofagunshot.Nkomojumpsupi
    nfri
    ghtbut
    ,escapesunharmed.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Wat
    chi
    tyoubast
    ard,
    that
    ’smysony
    ou’
    reshoot
    ingat
    .”

    Mkhi
    zegr
    owl
    sathi
    m.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Heshoul
    dn’
    tbeher
    eifhecan’
    ttakeabul
    l
    et.
    ”

    Fr
    ancol
    aughs,
    he’
    senj
    oyi
    ngt
    his.

    Nkomo:
    “Fucky
    ouFr
    anco.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    s.

    Amancomesrunni
    ngt
    owar
    dsusasweappr
    oacht
    heel
    evat
    or,
    hewi
    denshi
    sey
    esuponseei
    ng
    t
    hegunsandst
    ops.

    Hi
    m:“
    Sty
    les?
    ”

    Hi
    svoi
    ceshakes.

    St
    yles:
    “Youcant
    akey
    ourbabi
    esnowKgot
    so,
    wel
    ostaf
    ewbut
    ,youwi
    l
    lli
    ve.
    ”

    St
    ylessay
    swi
    thoutl
    ooki
    ngathi
    m,hehasn’
    tremov
    edhi
    sey
    esof
    fofMkhi
    zeandhi
    sguni
    sst
    il
    l
    dr
    awnout.

    Hisvoi
    cethough,
    givesawayt
    hathei
    sweak.Iwantt
    oscr
    eam andaskf
    orhel
    pbut
    ,noonewi
    l
    l
    darecometomyr escue.

    MKhizepressesabutt
    onanditdoesn’tt
    akeasecondforthel
    if
    ttoopen,
    twopoli
    cemenarein
    t
    here.Mkhizeshoot
    sthem bot
    hast heyaimt
    heirgunsatus,t
    heyfal
    ltot
    hei
    rdeath.Fr
    anco
    l
    aughs,t
    hisisall
    ajoketohim.

    Iscr
    eam asIam hor
    ri
    fi
    edbywhathejustdi
    d,thel
    astper
    sonIsawkil
    lamanwasRandall
    .He
    wastry
    ingtopr
    otectmebut
    ,whatjust
    if
    icat
    iondoesMkhi
    zehaveforki
    ll
    i
    ngt
    hesei
    nnocentcops.

    Mybodyi
    str
    embl
    i
    ngwi
    thf
    earandIam i
    nsomuchagonyt
    otopi
    tof
    f,I
    ’
    m whi
    mper
    ingi
    ntear
    s.

    St
    yles:
    “Youneedt
    ocal
    m downAmar
    a,y
    ou’
    renotr
    ecov
    eredy
    et.
    ”

    Me:
    “Pl
    easehel
    pme.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadwi
    tht
    ear
    sst
    reami
    ngdownmyf
    ace.

    St
    yles:
    “Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouback,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”
    Heassur esme, onl
    ydoubtisplay
    ingar
    oundmeatthi
    spoi
    ntandIdon’tseemyselfsur
    viv
    ing
    this.Mkhizepushesusint
    ot heel
    evat
    orandi
    tdawnsonmethatt
    hisistheend,oncethi
    sdoor
    closes,Iam donefor.

    Iwasbet t
    eroffwit
    hRandall,alt
    houghImadei tmymi ssiont
    oescapeev eryday
    .Hehadthis
    thi
    ngofmaki ngmef eelsaf
    ej ustbybei ngar
    oundme, Ihatedmy sel
    fthatti
    meforenj
    oyi
    nghis
    presencebut,nowIreal
    isethatitisallIwanted.AndIneeditri
    ghtnow, Ineedt
    ofeel
    safe.Then
    again,hei
    sgone.Hel ef
    tmet ofightbattl
    esIam notstrongenoughtoface.

    Fr
    ancoi
    str
    ail
    i
    ngsl
    owl
    ytot
    heent
    rance.He’
    sst
    il
    lai
    mingatNkomoandSt
    yles.

    St
    yles:
    “Howaboutal
    i
    ttl
    egi
    ftt
    oremembermeby
    ?”

    Styl
    essaysasFrancopressest
    he1stbutt
    onandt hedoorst
    art
    sclosing.St
    ylesshoot
    s,pier
    cing
    Francoonhi
    st hi
    gh.Hescreamsasthebull
    etsendshim ont
    hefloor
    ,therei
    snot i
    met oreact
    .
    Thedoorisshutandwe’removi
    ng.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Fucki
    ngshi
    t.
    ”

    Her
    oar
    swhi
    l
    ecl
    aspi
    ngonhi
    sleg.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    45*

    STYLES*

    Nkomo:
    “Yougothi
    m.”

    Hedecl
    areswi
    thasmugl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Thatdoesn’
    tchange…t
    hef
    act
    …that
    …Il
    etMkhi
    zewal
    kaway
    …wi
    thAmar
    a.”

    Mybodyf
    ail
    smewi
    tht
    hesewor
    ds,
    Nkomocat
    chesmebef
    oreIhi
    tthegr
    ound.

    Nkomo:
    “Weneedt
    ogety
    out
    reat
    ed.
    ”

    Hehel
    psmet
    osi
    tont
    hef
    loor
    .

    Kgot
    so:
    “Shi
    tman,
    younev
    ersai
    dany
    thi
    ngaboutpeopl
    ebei
    ngshotandki
    l
    led.
    ”

    Me:
    “Get
    …yoursnakes…andgetout
    …ofher
    e.”

    Nkomo:“
    Ithi
    nkweshoul
    dgetoutofhere,
    thi
    spl
    acemustbesur r
    oundedwit
    hthepoli
    cefor
    ce
    andi
    t’
    sbadenought
    hatMkhi
    zehaskill
    edtwoofthem.I
    ftheyf
    indushere,
    theywi
    llpi
    nitonus.
    ”

    Kgot
    so:
    “Thi
    smanneedsahospi
    tal
    monnaandy
    ou’
    rei
    nit
    .”(
    Man.
    )

    Kgot
    sogi
    veshi
    stwocent
    s.

    Nkomo:
    “Hey
    ,gety
    ourbl
    oodysnakesandgetofher
    e.Thi
    shasnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Nkomoshout
    sathi
    m,Kgot
    sor
    aiseshi
    shandsi
    ndef
    enceandmov
    esback.

    It
    urntomylef
    tandseeSethur
    unni
    ngt
    ous,
    she’
    str
    yinghar
    dnott
    otr
    ampl
    eont
    hesnakes
    whil
    ewear
    ingasourface.

    Nkomo:
    “Her
    e’sanur
    se,
    may
    beshecanhel
    pus.
    ”

    Sethu:
    “Si
    r,t
    her
    e’sapri
    vater
    oom ont
    hef
    if
    thf
    loor
    ,I’
    m pr
    ett
    ysur
    ethepol
    i
    cewon’
    tlookt
    her
    e.
    Thatwardwasn’
    tevacuat
    ed.
    ”

    Shesay
    sasshet
    akesi
    nqui
    ckbr
    eat
    hs.

    Nkomo:
    “Whywoul
    dyouwantt
    ohel
    pus?What
    ’si
    nitf
    ory
    ou?
    ”

    Set
    hui
    sfr
    ight
    enedbyNkomo’
    sout
    bur
    st,
    shedr
    awsbackabi
    tasshewel
    comesal
    ookoff
    ear
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’s…okay
    …lether
    …hel
    pus.
    ”

    Myt
    hroatf
    eel
    sdr
    ierwi
    thev
    erybr
    eat
    h,myv
    isi
    onbl
    ursandIf
    eel
    Ican’
    thol
    donany
    mor
    e.

    Nkomo:
    “Br
    ingast
    ret
    chert
    hen.
    ”

    Nkomocommandswi
    thacol
    dtone,
    Idon’
    tgetwhyhei
    sbei
    ngmeant
    oher
    .Set
    hul
    ooksatme
    andIgi
    vehert
    hegoahead,
    sher
    unsbackt
    othedi
    rect
    ionshecamef
    rom.

    Kgot
    soisalmostdonecol
    lect
    inghi
    sdevi
    ls,
    hedoesn’
    tlookhappyaboutt
    hedeadones,
    ashe
    l
    ooksatthem di
    spl
    easedandshakeshi
    shead.

    Nkomo:
    “Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    Mkhi
    zeRandal
    li
    sal
    i
    ve?
    ”

    Me:“
    Hedoesn’
    tneedtoknowthat,
    lethi
    m assumeot
    her
    wiseandt
    hinkhehaswon.Thi
    swi
    l
    l
    gi
    veust
    imetoplanournextmove.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Butther
    eisnoti
    me, Ispoket
    omybrotherear
    li
    er.Het
    oldmethat
    ,thatol
    dfool
    is
    get
    ti
    ngmarr
    iedinthr
    eedays.Hehasobvi
    ousl
    yplannedtheweddi
    ng.
    ”

    Honest
    ly,
    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nki
    twoul
    dbet
    hissoon.Randal
    lhast
    owakeupbef
    orei
    t’
    stool
    ate.

    Me:“Iswear,
    Iwi
    l
    lbl
    owhishouseupwi
    thhi
    sfami
    l
    yini
    t,i
    fIhav
    eto.Mkhi
    zewi
    l
    lnothav
    eAmar
    a,
    Iswearitonmymot
    her
    ’sgr
    ave.”

    Nkomobecomesuneasyatmywor
    ds,
    Iknowhel
    oveshi
    ssi
    bli
    ngsbut
    ,Ihav
    eaf
    ami
    l
    yofmy
    owntopr
    otect
    .

    KHETHU*

    St
    yles’
    habitofnotanswer
    inghisphonei
    sannoying,
    Ihat
    eit
    .It
    sthi
    ngsli
    ketheset
    hatbr
    ingout
    myinsecur
    iti
    es.Whatam Isupposedtot
    hinkwhenhegoesanddoesthi
    s?

    Ical
    ledMbongeniandhesaidtomeetupi nhisoff
    ice,he’
    sacrimi
    nall
    awyer
    ,hewor ksforone
    ofSouthAfri
    ca’
    sbiggestl
    awfi
    rmsandi fIknowany onewhocanhelpmygrandfathert
    hen,it
    ’s
    defi
    nit
    elyhi
    m.Mbongeni i
    safami
    lyfr
    iend,wegr ewupt oget
    hersi
    ncepri
    maryschool.

    Thei
    rof
    fi
    cesar
    esi
    tuat
    edi
    nSandt
    onRi
    voni
    a.

    I
    t’
    saf
    ter6pm so,
    hissecr
    etar
    yisnotatherdesk.

    Iknockinhisoff
    iceonce,befor
    elett
    ingmyselfin,
    hei ssit
    ti
    ngonachairandther
    eisawoman
    sitt
    ingonhisl
    apandt hei
    rkissi
    ng.I
    tlooksheated,theystopatmyexpenseastheyturnto
    glanceatme.Embarrassed,Iswif
    tl
    yoffermyapol ogiesandwalkbackout
    .Dammi t
    ,thiswil
    l
    teachmet oknocknextti
    me.

    I
    ’m sti
    ll
    standi
    ngatthedoorwhenheopensi
    twi
    thasmi
    l
    eonhi
    sface,
    may
    beIshoul
    dhav
    e
    mov edtosomecorner.

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hukut
    hul
    aDl
    adl
    a?”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    Me:
    “Hi
    .”

    If
    eel
    mycheeksheatup,
    Icannotcompr
    ehendt
    hel
    evel
    ofmor
    ti
    fi
    cat
    ionIf
    eel
    rightnow.
    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Ishoul
    dn’
    thav
    e…”

    Mbongeni
    :“Ishoul
    dbesor
    ry,
    thi
    sisapl
    aceofwor
    kandIshoul
    dn’
    thav
    e…”

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    ttel
    li
    fyoudon’
    t.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mbongeni
    :“Myl
    i
    fesav
    er.Whatwoul
    dIdowi
    thouty
    ou?
    ”

    Heteasesasheplaceshi
    shandonhischestwithasmile,
    Ilaughathisfai
    ledatt
    emptto
    act
    uall
    ycrackaj
    oke.Weturntosomeoneclear
    ingthei
    rthroat,
    it’
    shi
    sgirl
    fr
    iendorwhatever
    .
    She’
    sprett
    yImustsay,dr
    essedfor
    mall
    y,shecouldbeonet heemployeesinthi
    splace.

    Shescansherey
    esal
    lthr
    oughmybodywi
    thanunpl
    easantl
    ookonherf
    acebef
    ore,
    tur
    ningt
    o
    hi
    m.

    Her
    :“Babe,
    I’
    m goi
    nghome,
    seei
    ngt
    hatwewer
    erudel
    yint
    err
    upt
    ed.
    ”

    Shemumbl
    es,
    giv
    ingmet
    hel
    ookagai
    n.

    Mbongeni
    :“Khensani
    ,thi
    sismyl
    ong-
    ti
    mef
    ri
    endKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Hei
    ntr
    oducesashesmi
    l
    esatme,
    Ismi
    l
    eatherbut
    ,sher
    espondsbyr
    oll
    i
    ngherey
    es.

    Okay
    !Iguessshei
    snotaf
    anofhi
    m hav
    ingf
    emal
    efr
    iends,
    whi
    chIcompl
    etel
    yunder
    stand.

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hu,
    thi
    sis…”

    Hepausesandglancesather
    ,shef
    rownsandst
    epsawayf
    rom hi
    m,f
    oldi
    ngherar
    msacr
    oss
    herchesti
    ntheprocess.

    Khensani
    :“Hi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”

    Shethrowsthewordsoutofhermouthwi
    thanatti
    tude,Ihonestl
    yfel
    tthat
    .Thegi
    rli
    smar ki
    ng
    herspotandit
    ’sj
    usti
    fi
    abl
    e,Mbongenii
    salooker
    .At hi
    rt
    yy earol
    dsuccessful
    lawy
    er,he’
    stal
    l,
    caramelski
    nnedandabachelor
    .So,agi
    rl
    ’sgott
    odowhatagi rl
    ’
    sgottodo.

    Khensani
    :“Mr.Nong,
    I’
    m goinghome.So,
    youknowwher
    etof
    indmewheny
    ouf
    inal
    l
    ydeci
    de
    whichspotIhol
    dinyourl
    if
    e.”

    Shedecl
    aresandwal
    ksawaywi
    thoutacknowl
    edgi
    ngmypr
    esenceatal
    l
    .

    I
    ’
    m okay
    .

    Mbongenishakeshi
    sheadandi
    ndi
    cat
    esthatIgoi
    n,hecl
    osest
    hedoorbehi
    ndhim.It
    ’sanice
    l
    it
    tl
    eoffi
    cewithasmallt
    abl
    eandachai
    r,afewbooksont
    heshel
    fsandhi
    sgraduat
    ionpict
    ures
    onthewall
    .

    NTOMBI
    *
    I
    ’
    mly
    ingi
    nmybedwhenJonasknocks,
    thedoori
    sopenso,
    hewal
    ksi
    n.

    Jonas:
    “Awor
    d?”

    Isitupasheapproachest
    hebed,
    hest
    andswi
    thhi
    shandsf
    oldedacr
    osshi
    schest
    .Thel
    ookon
    hisfacest
    il
    lbr
    eaksme.

    Jonas:
    “Iwasaski
    ngaroundi
    fanyonehasseenMoses,
    itwasn’
    thar
    dbecausey
    ourhusbandi
    s
    knownaroundher
    e.Thankst
    othatmil
    li
    onhescor
    edhimsel
    f.”

    Hecl
    encheshi
    sjaw.

    Jonas:
    “Hewasl
    astseenatthet
    avern,
    that
    ’sal
    lIcoul
    dget
    .Byt
    hel
    ooksofi
    t,peopl
    ewer
    e
    afr
    aidt
    ogiv
    eoutmoreinf
    ormati
    on.But,
    wewi l
    lfi
    ndhi
    m.”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    oubhut
    i.
    ”

    Jonas:“No,
    noNt ombi.Iam notdoi
    ngt hi
    sf ory
    ou,i
    t’
    sformyni
    eceAmar a.Moseshast
    ocome
    andaccountforhisevi
    ldeeds,Iwantyoutoknowt hatIwi
    l
    lenj
    oytor
    tur
    inghim andt
    hebest
    partaboutt
    hisisthat
    ,Iwil
    lnotevenli
    ftafinger
    .”

    Thelookonhisfacesendsshi
    ver
    sdownmyspine,mymindisunawar
    eofwhathei
    spl
    anni
    ng.I
    canneverf
    igur
    eJonasout ,
    heist
    oomyst
    eri
    ousitcanbeannoyi
    ngsomet
    imes.

    Me:“Bhut
    i,Iknowyoul
    oveme.Iam y
    ourl
    i
    ttl
    esi
    ster
    .Rememberhowy
    our
    aisedmewhenour
    par
    entspassedon?Yougavemeawayonmyweddingdayand…”

    Jonas:
    “Shutup.
    ”

    Hehowl
    s.

    Jonas:“Emoti
    onalblackmailwil
    lnotworkonme, y
    ouhaveki
    ll
    edthatl
    oveIhadfory
    ouNt ombi
    wit
    hy ourst
    upidi
    ty.TomorrowIam goi ngtof
    indNombul
    eloandIwil
    lbr
    ingherhome,Ihate
    nonsenseNtombi andIwil
    l nott
    olerat
    eit.
    ”

    Hecli
    ckshist ongue,gi
    vesmeabl acklookandwal ksawaybangingthedoorbehi ndhim.Ihave
    cri
    edar i
    versincemyconf essi
    on,Ididn’tt
    hinkwhatMosesdi dwasthatbad,ti
    lltoday.Ican’
    t
    shakethi
    sv astamountofgui l
    tthattauntsme, If
    eel l
    i
    ketheworl
    d’sbiggesti
    diotforcoveri
    ngup
    forMoses.Stil
    l,Ican’
    tshakethi
    slov eIfeelforhi
    m, heismyhusbandaf t
    eral
    l.

    KHETHU*

    Mbongeni
    :“Sowhatbr
    ingsy
    out
    omyof
    fi
    cel
    ateatni
    ght
    ?”

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    rybut
    ,Icoul
    dn’
    twai
    tti
    l
    ltomor
    row.Tat
    ahasbeenar
    rest
    edf
    orr
    ape.
    ”

    Say
    ingt
    hesewor
    dsmakesi
    tseem r
    eal
    andIcan’
    tev
    enf
    athom hi
    m doi
    ngsomet
    hingsohor
    ri
    ble.

    Mbongeni
    :“What
    ?”
    Justt
    heexpr
    essi
    onIexpect
    ed,
    hei
    sshocked.

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    right
    ?It
    ’si
    nsane,
    hewi
    l
    lnev
    erdosuchat
    hing.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Thi
    siscr
    azyKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmeabouti
    t,Ineedy
    out
    orepr
    esenthi
    mincour
    t.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Me,r
    epresentj
    udgeMdlul
    i?Wow, Idon’
    tknow.Thi
    sishuge.Whatabouthi
    slawy
    er
    Mr.Cr
    awford?Heisthebestandhasneverl
    ostacase.”

    Me:
    “You’
    recl
    osert
    ohomeMboso,
    thepossi
    bil
    i
    tyofuswi
    nni
    ngt
    hiscasei
    shi
    gh.
    ”

    Hewel
    comesast
    upi
    dsmi
    l
    eonhi
    sface,
    Ifr
    ownathi
    m.

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Mbongeni
    :“Youj
    ustcal
    l
    edmeMbo.
    ”

    Hi
    ssmi
    l
    egr
    owsashesay
    sthi
    s.

    I
    sthi
    sni
    ggabl
    ushi
    ng?

    Me:
    “So,
    it’
    snot
    hingnew.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Iknowbut
    ,it
    ’sbeenawhi
    l
    esi
    nceIhear
    dyoucal
    lmet
    hat
    .It
    ’smusi
    ctomyear
    s.”

    Hechor
    tl
    escausi
    ngmet
    orol
    lmyey
    es.

    Mbongeni
    :“And,
    it’
    sbeenawhi
    l
    esi
    nceIhav
    eseeny
    our
    oll
    yourey
    esl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Heaccept
    sanot
    herchuckl
    e,hi
    spl
    ant
    omakemesmi
    l
    eiswor
    king.

    Mbongeni
    :“Whyhav
    eyoubeenhi
    dingy
    our
    sel
    fany
    way
    ?Ihav
    en’
    tseeny
    ousi
    ncet
    hatboyy
    ou’
    re
    dat
    ing.
    ”

    Now,
    we’
    reget
    ti
    ngt
    ooper
    sonal
    .

    Me:
    “Hei
    snotaboy
    ,It
    akeof
    fencei
    nthat
    ,justsoy
    ouknow.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Youst
    il
    ldef
    endhi
    m,wow.Somet
    hingsnev
    erchangehey
    .”

    Hel
    aughs,
    het
    hinksi
    t’
    sfunny
    .

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sdef
    endhi
    m,hei
    sthemanIl
    ove.
    ”

    Hi
    ssmi
    l
    evani
    sheswi
    thmywor
    ds,
    andhet
    akesal
    ookofannoy
    ance.

    Mbongeni
    :“Doeshemakey
    ouhappy
    ?”

    Whyi
    sheaski
    ngmet
    his?

    Me:
    “Yes.
    ”

    HemustknowandIhopeIsoundconv
    inci
    ng.
    Mbongeni
    :“I
    ’
    m notconv
    inced.Ir
    ememberhowy
    ou’
    veal
    way
    swant
    edt
    obeawi
    fe,
    ahousewi
    fe
    t
    obeexact.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsandshakeshi
    sheadatt
    hel
    astst
    atement
    .Iwasy
    oungandst
    upi
    d.

    Mbongeni
    :“Idon’
    tseear
    ingony
    ourf
    inger
    .”

    Hef
    ini
    shes.

    Me:
    “Inev
    ersai
    dIwant
    edt
    obeawi
    fe.
    ”

    IdenywhatIknowt
    obenot
    hingbutt
    het
    rut
    h.

    Mbongeni
    :“Pl
    ease,
    youcoul
    dn’
    tst
    opr
    avi
    ngabouti
    t.Yougotmedr
    eami
    ngt
    her
    e,y
    ouknow?
    ”

    Hei
    ntr
    oducesat
    opi
    cIam notsur
    eIwantt
    ogeti
    nto.

    Me:
    “Dr
    eami
    ng?
    ”

    Mycur
    iosi
    tywi
    l
    lbet
    hedeat
    hofme.

    Mbongeni
    :“Al
    i
    fewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Gosh!

    May
    beIshoul
    dn’
    thav
    easked.

    Me:
    “Wewer
    eki
    dsMbo…”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Me:
    “Mbo…nge…ni
    .”

    Hi
    ssmi
    l
    etur
    nsi
    ntoal
    augh.

    Mbongeni
    :“Fai
    renoughbut
    ,youdi
    dgi
    vemeachanceonce,
    til
    lthat
    …”

    Ir
    aisemyey
    ebr
    owsathi
    m andher
    ephr
    ases.

    Mbongeni
    :“Ti
    l
    lSt
    ingscameandt
    ooky
    ouf
    rom me.
    ”

    Iam bei
    ngmocked,
    may
    beMr
    .Cr
    awf
    ordwoul
    d’v
    ebeeni
    deal
    fort
    hiscase.

    Me:“Wi
    llyouevergethi
    snamer i
    ght?Ifeeli
    nsul
    tedyouknow?HisnameisSt
    ylesSi
    shiandhe
    l
    ovesmelikeIhaveneverbeenl
    ov edi
    nmyl if
    e.HemakesmehappyMbongeni andIwould
    appr
    eci
    ateiti
    fwedr opthi
    stopi
    c,Ihat
    et al
    ki
    ngabouthim behi
    ndhi
    sback.
    ”

    Iv
    oiceoutandaf
    lashofhumi
    l
    iat
    iont
    arget
    shi
    m asi
    tshowsonhi
    sface.

    Mbongeni
    :“Sor
    ryMaDl
    adl
    a,IhopeIdi
    dn’
    tcr
    ossmyl
    i
    mit
    s.”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lhol
    dingont
    othatnamehedubbedmewi
    th.

    Me:“
    Canwet al
    kaboutTat
    a’scasepl
    ease,
    hewast
    ransf
    err
    edt
    oamaxi
    mum pr
    ison.I
    sthat
    ev
    enpossi
    ble”
    Mbongeni
    :“Nott
    hatIknowof
    ,hei
    sinnocentt
    il
    lpr
    ovengui
    l
    ty.
    ”

    Me:“
    Ist
    her
    eanyt
    hingwecandotogethim outonbail
    ,atl
    east
    ?Theof
    fi
    cersai
    dnoonei
    s
    al
    l
    owedtomeetwi
    thhim.Ihav
    eafeel
    ingNobay eni
    isbehi
    ndthi
    s.”

    Mbongeni
    :“Yout
    woar
    est
    il
    latdagger
    sdr
    awn?Whenwi
    l
    lyoucal
    lat
    ruce?
    ”

    Me:
    “Notany
    timesoon,
    ifshehasany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Youshoul
    dtr
    y,may
    beshewi
    l
    lopenup.
    ”

    Iam nother
    efort
    hatev
    ilwoman.

    Me:
    “CanwegetTat
    aoutornot
    ?”

    Mymoodhaschanged,
    suddenl
    yIdon’
    twantt
    obeher
    e.

    Mbongeni
    :“Iwi
    l
    lseewhatIcando.Todayi
    saThur
    sdayso,Iwil
    lspeakt
    othej
    udget
    omor
    row.
    I
    fhedoesn’
    tgetbai
    l,
    hewil
    lhavetospendt
    heweekendi
    njail
    .”

    Me:
    “Hei
    shonour
    abl
    eJudgeMdl
    uli
    ,hi
    snamewi
    l
    lspeakf
    orhi
    m.”

    Het
    it
    ter
    sandshakeshi
    shead.

    Mbongeni
    :“That
    ’snothowt
    hel
    awwor
    ks.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    rusty
    ou.
    ”

    Thisi
    smesay i
    ngdon’tdi
    sappoi
    ntme.Hehasn’
    tst
    oppedf
    lashi
    ngasmi
    l
    esi
    nce,
    hesawme.I
    getupasIgetreadyt
    oleave.

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    ’
    llwal
    kyouout
    .”

    Heof
    fer
    sget
    ti
    ngupf
    rom hi
    sseat
    .

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    thav
    eto.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Iwasonmywayhomeany
    way
    .”

    Ishrugmyshoul
    der
    s.Wehol
    daconv er
    sat
    ionaswet
    oil
    outoft
    hebuil
    dingt
    otheparki
    ngl
    ot,
    he
    opensanumbrel
    lawhi
    lewewal
    k.Therear
    emanycar
    shereandpeopl
    ehavedepar
    tedtot
    hei
    r
    respect
    abl
    ehomes.

    Mbongeni
    :“Thi
    srai
    nisst
    rangedon’
    tyout
    hink?
    ”

    Normall
    y,conversat
    ionsabouttheweat
    herconv
    eyanawkwar
    dmomentbet
    weent
    wopeopl
    e
    but
    ,thi
    sweat herisactual
    l
    ystrange.

    Me:
    “Iti
    s,Godmustbeangr
    yaboutsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Il
    ett
    hatout
    .

    Mbongeni
    :“Someoneupther
    eisdef
    ini
    telyfuri
    ous,
    Ihaven’
    tseenthi
    smuchrai
    nsi
    ncecy
    clone
    I
    DAIin2019.Thatwasahect
    icone,
    Ididn’tthi
    nkIwoul
    dmakei ty
    ouknow.”
    Me:
    “That
    ’sov
    erexagger
    ated.
    ”

    Il
    aughandhechor
    tl
    es.

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisme.
    ”

    Imumbl easwereachmycar ,
    hei
    nstant
    lypul
    lsmei nt
    oat i
    ghthug.My
    sti
    fi
    edbythissuddenact
    ,
    Idon’
    tholdhi
    m back.Helet
    sgogradual
    lyandbrusheshisli
    psonmycheek,hi
    seyesmeetmi ne
    andatwitchofgui
    ltmocksme.It
    akeaf ewstepsback,sendi
    ngmyeyesevery
    wherebut,hi
    s
    di
    rect
    ion.

    Me:
    “By
    e.”

    Thisisal
    l Iam goi
    ngt
    osaytohi
    m,thi
    sfri
    endshi
    pthi
    ngcannev
    erwor
    k.Mbongeni
    sti
    l
    lhas
    expectat
    ionsandIcan’
    tli
    veupt
    othem,Ibel
    ongtoanot
    herman.

    Hewat
    chesmeasIpul
    loutoft
    hepar
    kingl
    otanddr
    iveof
    f.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    46*

    AMARA*

    “
    AMARA!
    !!
    ”

    Ij
    oltupfrom mysleepatthesoundofmynamebei
    ngwhisper
    edinmyear ,
    itsoundsl
    i
    ke
    Randall
    ’
    sv oi
    ce.Icanst
    il
    lhearitechoi
    ngi
    nmyear
    drum,
    Ifindmysel
    ftear
    ingupasmemor i
    esof
    hi
    mf il
    lmymi nd.

    Ican’
    tseem t
    ogetoverhisdeat
    h,i
    thurtssobadandIdon’
    tunder
    standit
    .Whyam If
    eel
    i
    ngli
    ke
    thi
    s?Whyam Iunablet
    ogr aspf
    oraireachti
    meIthi
    nkofhi
    m?Whati sthi
    spowert
    hathehol
    ds
    overmeevenfrom t
    hegrave?

    Wi
    l
    lIev
    erbeabl
    etof
    orgethi
    m?

    Ihav
    en’thadtheni
    ghtmareaboutmyparent
    ’sdeat
    hsi
    nceIcamet oRandal
    l
    ’shouse,
    Ithi
    nkonl
    y
    hegavemet hepeaceIneededhence,
    thedr
    eamscoul
    dn’thauntmeanymore.

    Theneedt
    oseehi
    m agai
    nisgr
    eat
    ert
    hanme,
    Iam l
    osi
    ngmysani
    tyatt
    his.

    NowIam st
    uckwi
    tht
    hisol
    dman,
    wit
    hnoonet
    ohel
    pme.

    St
    ylesdi
    dn’
    tlookpr
    omi
    sing,
    hiscondi
    ti
    onwassobad.

    TherewasaQuant um wai
    ti
    ngforuswhenwegotoutofthehospi
    tal
    ,wewentoutt
    hrought
    he
    groundpar
    king.Ther
    ewerefourmeninsi
    deandal
    ldressedi
    nblack.

    Fr
    ancowasdr
    oppedatanear
    byhospi
    tal
    ,hewasbl
    eedi
    ngpr
    ofusel
    y.

    We’r
    einPret
    ori
    anow.Iam beingkepti
    nabedroom, Idi
    dn’tseeanyonei
    nthehousewhenwe
    came.If
    eell
    ikeapr
    isoneragain,
    maybethi
    sisreal
    l
    ymyf ateandIshoul
    dstar
    taccept
    ingi
    t.

    Li
    fewi
    l
    lnev
    erbeki
    ndt
    ome.

    Theambiancei nthisroom i
    sdark.I’
    mlyi
    ngonadoublebed,i
    thascar
    amelandtor
    ti
    ll
    abeddi
    ng.
    Thecurt
    ainsarepl ai
    npeachandt herei
    sabigwar
    drobenexttodoort
    hatpr
    obabl
    yleadst
    othe
    bat
    hroom, Idon’twanttobehere.

    IwassedatedandIhav ebeendrif
    tinginandoutofconsci
    ousness,
    ther
    eisanur
    sehere.She
    saidhernameisKazi,
    shei syoung.Probabl
    yaround25,maybeshecanhelpmeescapethis
    place.Shecoul
    dunderstandmyst ory,
    consi
    deri
    ngthatsheisawoman.

    Thedooropens,
    it’
    sher
    .

    Kazi
    :“Hi
    ,you’
    reawake?Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    ogohome.
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lnotst
    ret
    cht
    hisandIdon’
    twantt
    ohav
    eameani
    ngl
    essconv
    ersat
    ion.
    Shehol
    dsal
    ookofgui
    l
    tonherf
    ace.

    Kazi
    :“I
    ’
    m sor
    ry,
    ther
    eisnot
    hingIcando.Iam j
    ustanempl
    oyeeher
    e.”

    Shest
    ates.

    Me:
    “Buty
    oucanhel
    pmeescaper
    ight
    ,theywon’
    thav
    etoknow.
    ”

    Kazi
    :“Ev
    eni
    fIdo,
    youwon’
    tgov
    eryf
    ar.Youwer
    ebadl
    yinj
    ured,
    yourbodyi
    sst
    il
    lver
    yweak.
    ”

    Me:“YesandIshoul
    dbei
    nthehospi
    tal
    ,nother
    e.Thatmant
    ookmebyf
    orceandbr
    oughtme
    her
    e.”

    It
    earupatthethoughtofbei
    ngki
    dnappedagai
    n.Whoev
    eri
    swr
    it
    ingmyl
    i
    fest
    oryneedst
    oedi
    t
    i
    t,t
    hescr
    iptiswrong.

    Kazi
    :“I
    ’
    m sor
    rysi
    si,
    Iwi
    shIcanhel
    p.”

    Shemummer s,
    leer
    ingatmel i
    keshepi
    ti
    esme.Shehandsmeat
    issuet
    owi
    pemyt
    ear
    s,Idon’
    t
    takei
    t.Idon’
    tneedatissue,
    Ineedtogetoutofher
    e.

    Kazi
    :“Look,
    Iknowsomeonewhomi ghthel
    pyou.He’
    sgoodatt
    hingsl
    i
    ket
    his,
    I’
    ll
    hav
    eawor
    d
    wit
    hhim.But,I
    ’m notpr
    omi
    singany
    thi
    ng.”

    Inod,
    wipi
    ngmyst
    ubbor
    ntear
    s.

    Me:
    “Cany
    oucal
    lhi
    m now?
    ”

    Ipl
    ead,
    shef
    rownsatmebef
    oreshaki
    ngherhead.

    Kazi
    :“Youbet
    terthankGodfort
    hatinnocentf
    aceofy
    our
    s, orel
    seIwoul
    dn’
    tri
    skmyli
    fel
    iket
    his.
    Mr.Mkhizewi
    llki
    l
    l me,he’
    saverydangerousmanandwi
    llnothesi
    tat
    etoputabul
    l
    ett
    hrough
    myhead.”

    Shet
    ell
    smeat
    aleIexper
    iencedf
    ir
    st-
    hand.

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    Isawhi
    m ki
    l
    ltwoment
    oday
    .Hehasnoconsci
    ousatal
    l
    .”

    Kazi
    :“So,
    youknowwhatmi
    ghthappeni
    fhef
    indsout
    ?”

    InodandI
    ’
    m notf
    azed,
    ifdeat
    hcomest
    heni
    twi
    l
    lcome.Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    oli
    vef
    orany
    way
    .

    Shetakesoutherphoneandf
    iddl
    esoni
    tbef
    orepl
    aci
    ngi
    tonherear
    ,shewai
    tsawhi
    l
    ebef
    ore
    tr
    yingagai
    n.

    Iam glanci
    ngatherwi
    thant
    ici
    pat
    ion,
    Ihav
    ebui
    l
    tthi
    shopei
    nmyhear
    tasIseemy
    sel
    foutof
    thi
    splace.

    Kazi
    :“He’
    snotanswer
    ing.
    ”

    Sheannounces,
    breaki
    ngt
    hatl
    i
    ttl
    ehopeIhad.

    KHETHU*
    Imissmyhome,Ihav
    etospeaktoSt
    ylesandconv
    incehi
    mt hatwegobackhome.Hecan
    al
    wayscomebackthenextmor
    ningt
    ocheckonRandall
    ,thi
    sisnotourpl
    ace.

    If
    indNeosi
    tt
    ingonthecouchwi
    thLi
    yanaonhi
    slap,
    she’
    sfi
    ddl
    i
    ngonhi
    sphonewhi
    l
    ehe’
    sal
    so
    i
    rr
    egul
    arl
    yscr
    oll
    ing.

    Asweetli
    tt
    legi
    ggleescapeshermouthinresponsetoast
    atementheut
    ter
    ed.Iwonderwhathe
    sai
    dtothepoorchi
    ld,hecanneverbeseri
    ousevenifhewantedt
    o.

    Chi
    omai
    sseat
    edonat
    woseat
    ercouch,
    herey
    esar
    eengr
    ossedont
    henewschannel
    .

    Me“
    Wher
    eisev
    ery
    one?
    ”

    Byev
    ery
    one,
    ImeanSt
    yles.

    Igai
    nthei
    rat
    tent
    ionast
    heyal
    ltur
    nthei
    rheadsandgl
    areatme.

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    ’sj
    ustus,
    Mbusoi
    supst
    air
    swi
    thUze.
    ”

    That
    ’sodd.

    St
    ylesl
    efther
    esay
    inghe’
    sgoi
    ngt
    omeetupwi
    thmyf
    atherandhei
    snotbacky
    et.

    Me:
    “Di
    dSt
    ylescomebackbyanychance?
    ”

    Ienqui
    reandhopeshewil
    lsayy
    es,
    Ican’
    tthi
    nkwhathecoul
    dpossi
    blybedoi
    ngwher
    everhei
    s
    andatthi
    sti
    meofthenight
    .

    Chi
    oma;
    “No.
    ”

    Neo,
    iskeepi
    nghi
    msel
    fbusywi
    thLi
    yana.Iknowhei
    sav
    oidi
    ngme.

    Me:
    “Neo?
    ’

    Itoddl
    etosi
    tnextt
    ohi
    m,Li
    yanal
    ooksatmeandgoesbackt
    owhat
    evershei
    sdoi
    ngont
    he
    phone.

    Neo:
    “Ndl
    ovukazi
    ?”(
    Queen?
    )

    Heut
    ter
    swi
    thoutl
    ooki
    ngatme.

    Me:
    “Wher
    eisSt
    yles?
    ”

    Neo:“
    YouknowIshouldbeoff
    ended,
    youcomehereandt
    hefi
    rstt
    hingyoudoisaskf
    orthat
    f
    oolStyl
    es.Notoncehav
    eyouaskedi
    fIwasokay
    .Shoul
    dIbel
    ookingforanot
    herwoman?”

    Thef
    actt
    hathej
    ustspokeEngl
    i
    shwi
    thoutmi
    xi
    ngi
    twi
    thv
    ernacul
    arpr
    ovest
    hat
    ,heknows
    wher
    eheis.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    notnow.Iam noti
    nthemood.Wher
    eisSt
    yles?
    ”

    Idemandandhebet
    tert
    ell
    me,
    ifheknowswhat
    ’sgoodf
    orhi
    m.
    Neo:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    asy
    oucanseeIhav
    ebeenher
    ethewhol
    edaywi
    thChi
    omaandTi
    nker
    bel
    l
    .”

    Hetickl
    esherashesay
    sthi
    s,shel
    aughswhi
    l
    eshr
    uggi
    ngherbody
    ,herey
    esar
    est
    il
    lont
    he
    phone.

    Li
    yana:
    “Iam notTi
    nker
    bel
    luncl
    eNeo.
    ”

    Shel
    aughsi
    tout
    .

    Neo:
    “You’
    reapr
    incesssoy
    es,
    youar
    eTi
    nker
    bel
    l
    .”

    Hesay
    sti
    ckl
    i
    ngheragai
    n,t
    hist
    imeshedoesn’
    tlaughasmuch.

    Li
    yana:
    “You’
    resi
    l
    lyuncl
    eNeo,
    Tinker
    bel
    li
    saf
    air
    y,notapr
    incess.
    ”

    Shecor
    rect
    shi
    m andhesni
    gger
    s.

    Neo:
    “Samet
    hingnana.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lsomeonet
    ell
    mewher
    eSt
    ylesi
    s.”

    Idemand,
    Ifeel
    li
    keani
    diotasIam bei
    ngi
    gnor
    ed.

    Mbusorunsdownt
    hest
    air
    s,hegest
    uresagr
    eet
    ingandIcl
    i
    ckasmi
    l
    ewhi
    chdoesn’
    tst
    ayonmy
    mouth.

    Mbuso:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Me:
    “May
    bey
    oucoul
    dtel
    lmewher
    eSt
    ylesi
    s.”

    Hef
    rownsandIknowt
    hathedoesn’
    thav
    eacl
    ue.

    Mbuso:
    “Iwoul
    dtel
    lyoui
    fIknew,
    Ihav
    etogo.Pl
    easekeepaney
    eonRandal
    l
    ."

    Neo:
    “Ogaoj
    oangcheeseboy
    ?"(
    Howi
    sboss,
    cheeseboy
    ?)

    Mbusohuf
    fs.

    Mbuso:
    “St
    il
    lthesame.
    ”

    Her
    espondswi
    thabi
    tofanat
    ti
    tude,
    theset
    woar
    enev
    eri
    ngoodt
    erms.

    Neo:
    “Aweawecheeseboy
    ."

    Hesay
    sandMbusoshakeshi
    sheadbi
    dsusgoodby
    eandl
    eav
    es.

    Chi
    oma:
    “OhmyGod,
    look.
    ”

    Sheyel
    ls,
    get
    ti
    ngourat
    tent
    ionandt
    urnsupt
    hev
    olume.I
    t’
    sthenewsandt
    her
    ewasashoot
    out
    atBar
    ahospi
    tal
    .

    MOSES*
    Iwasbr
    oughttoPret
    ori
    abyMkhize’sgoons,
    Ithi
    nkweareinhi
    shouse,i
    tlooksli
    keafami
    l
    y
    homeandit
    ’sbi
    g.Iwouldhonest
    lygetl
    ostheret
    ryi
    ngt
    ofindmywayt oacertai
    nroom.

    Nowwe’
    rewai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    minhi
    sof
    fi
    ce,
    I’
    m bei
    ngguar
    dedbyt
    women.

    Howthemightyhav
    efal
    l
    en,
    lookatmebei
    ngcont
    rol
    l
    edl
    i
    keapuppet
    .Moses,
    seey
    ourl
    i
    feand
    whatyouhav
    ebecome.

    Thedooropensandhewal
    ksinfir
    stwit
    hhiscaneashist
    hir
    dleg,fol
    l
    owedbyanot
    hert
    all
    bouncer
    .Thetwowhoareguar
    dingthedoormaint
    aint
    hei
    rposit
    ions,whi
    l
    ethi
    sonewal
    ks
    behi
    ndhim.

    Mkhize:
    “You’r
    esit
    ti
    ngcomf or
    tablyonachairIboughtwit
    hmymoneymgodoy
    i?Ani
    mal
    s
    bel
    ongont hefl
    oor,
    rightnexttotheirmast
    er’
    sfeet.
    ”(bast
    ard.
    )

    Hepr
    ocl
    aimsashegi
    vesmeadi
    rt
    ylook.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Usahl
    eli
    wenj
    a?Sukumaman!
    !!
    ”(You’
    rest
    il
    lsi
    tt
    ingdog?Getup.
    )

    Ij
    erkupal
    mostt
    ri
    ppi
    ngonmyownf
    eet
    ,hel
    aughsmocki
    ngl
    yandsi
    tsonhi
    shi
    ghchai
    r,f
    aci
    ng
    me.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Howdar
    eyoust
    andi
    nmypr
    esencemgodoy
    i?”(
    Bast
    ard.
    )

    Hegr
    owl
    sandIdr
    opt
    omyknees,
    anot
    hermocki
    ngl
    aughent
    ert
    ainshi
    m.

    Mkhize:“
    OhSdudl a,i
    t’scl
    earnowwhyy ou’
    reunemployed.Udom man,
    yeses.Iwoul
    dhavegi
    ven
    youajobatthet axir
    ank,justt
    owashthetaxi
    sbut,youremptybrai
    nwon’tbeabl
    etofi
    ndit
    s
    waythroughthat.Lookaty ouSdudl
    a,y
    ou’r
    eanembar rassmentt
    ousmen.Isaidanimal
    s
    bel
    ongont hefloor,r
    ightnextt
    othei
    rmaster’
    sfeet
    .”(You’
    redul
    l.
    )

    Hesay
    sandIl
    ookathi
    sfeet
    .Li
    fe,
    whati
    sthi
    syouar
    eshowi
    ngme?

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ngekengi
    phi
    ndeSdudl
    a.”(
    Iwon'
    trepeatmy
    sel
    f.
    )

    Het
    hreat
    ens.Igetupandat
    temptt
    owal
    ktohi
    m,her
    aiseshi
    shand,
    gest
    uri
    ngt
    hatIst
    op.

    Mkhize:
    “Ani
    malsdon’thavet
    wol
    egs,
    Iam y
    ett
    oseeone.Iwanty
    out
    ocr
    awl
    tomel
    i
    ket
    he
    goodmgodoyiy
    ouar e.”(
    dog)

    Tof
    acesuchhumi
    l
    iat
    ionasaman.

    Whatwi
    l
    lNt
    ombi
    andMashot
    osaywhent
    heyhearaboutt
    his?

    Hesi
    tant
    ly,
    Idr
    opt
    omykneesandbegi
    ncr
    awl
    i
    ng.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “St
    op.
    ”

    Hesay
    saf
    terIhav
    etakent
    wost
    eps.

    Mkhi
    ze:“Iwanty
    outohangy
    ourt
    ongueout
    ,you'
    readogr
    ight
    ?Andal
    ldogswal
    kar
    oundwi
    th
    t
    hei
    rtonguesout.
    ”

    Theguar
    dsl
    aughatmyexpense.Il
    ookupatMkhi
    ze,
    Iam notdoi
    ngt
    his.Myegohasbeen
    br
    uisedenoughal
    ready
    .Mkhi
    zef
    rownsatme.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Sdudl
    a,angi
    nasoi
    sikhat
    hi.
    ”(Idon'
    thav
    eti
    me.
    )

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Ihav
    enochoi
    cebutt
    osagmyt
    ongueout
    ,Icr
    awl
    towar
    dshi
    m.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Wai
    t.
    ”

    Hest
    opsmeagai
    n.

    If
    earwhathei
    saboutt
    oasknext
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Iwanty
    out
    obar
    k,dogsbar
    kri
    ght
    ?”

    Hi
    sgoonscan’
    tst
    opl
    aughi
    ng,
    Mkhi
    zehast
    hiscol
    dlookonhi
    sface.Iseet
    hehat
    ehehasf
    or
    me.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Khonkot
    hawenj
    a!!
    !”(
    bar
    kdog)

    Heshout
    sandIst
    artbar
    kingwhi
    l
    ecr
    awl
    i
    ngt
    ohi
    m.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “St
    op,
    youbar
    kandhangy
    ourt
    ongueout
    .Andsmi
    l
    ewhi
    l
    eyou’
    rei
    t.
    ”

    Hedemands,whichi
    sfol
    lowedbyanot
    herr
    oll
    ofl
    aught
    erf
    rom t
    hesebl
    oodygoons.Howt
    he
    hel
    ldoesheexpectmetodothat
    ?

    Me:
    “KodwaMkhi
    ze?
    ”(But
    .)

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Voet
    sek!
    !!
    ”

    Her
    oar
    s.

    Mkhi
    ze:“
    Dogsdon’
    tspeak,
    hai
    bonay
    iimi
    hlol
    a.Wher
    ehav
    eyouseenadogt
    hatspeaks?
    ”
    (
    Abominat
    ion.
    )

    Hemocksandmydi
    gni
    tyhasgonedownt
    hedr
    ain.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “NowdoasIsay
    .”

    Hedemands,Ifol
    lowhi
    scommandsasIcr
    awl
    ,bar
    k,hangmytongueoutandt
    rytosmi
    leal
    li
    n
    one.Theguar
    dslaughasi
    ftheyar
    ewat
    chi
    ngacomedyshow,
    Ifinal
    l
    ygettohi
    m andhesmir
    ks.

    Mkhize:“
    That
    ’sagoodboy
    ,Iwasst
    arti
    ngtothi
    nkyouar
    eincompet
    ent
    .Shel
    ter
    sfordogsdonot
    adoptusel
    essdogs,
    Iwasgoi
    ngtoexecut
    eyou.Now,si
    t.
    ”

    Hepoi
    ntsnextt
    ohi
    sfeet
    ,Isi
    tfaci
    ngt
    hedoor
    .Hepat
    smyhead,
    slowl
    y.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ungangi
    camel
    iwenj
    a.”(
    Don’
    tpeeonmedog.
    )

    Iam br
    okenbey
    ondr
    eason.

    Mkhize:“
    Now,l
    ist
    en.Mybri
    dehascome,sheissomewher
    eint hi
    shouse.Unfort
    unat
    ely
    ,the
    weddinghast
    obepostponed.Mybeaut
    yisnotfeel
    i
    ngwel
    l,butnextweekend,umshadolent
    o.”
    (
    Ther
    ewi
    l
    lbeaweddi
    ng.
    )

    Hei
    sobv
    iousl
    ytal
    ki
    ngaboutAmar
    a,hi
    sobsessi
    onov
    erheri
    scr
    azy
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youwi
    l
    lst
    il
    lgi
    veheraway
    ,li
    keweagr
    eed.
    ”

    Wedi
    dn’
    tagr
    eet
    oany
    thi
    ng.Nx!

    Mkhize:
    “Whensheisbett
    er,Iwanty
    out
    oconv
    incehert
    hatt
    hismar
    ri
    agewi
    l
    lbegoodf
    orher
    ,
    okay
    ?Nof unnybusi
    nessSdudla.
    ”

    Hepat
    smyhead.

    Amarawil
    lnottr
    ustme,notwhenIsol
    dher
    .May
    beIcanuset
    hisoppor
    tuni
    tyt
    oconv
    incehert
    o
    pl
    eadthi
    sevil
    manf ormyli
    fe.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “You’
    reagooddogar
    en’
    tyou?
    ”

    Hecont
    inuest
    opatmyhead,
    thi
    sti
    met
    appi
    nghi
    sfi
    nger
    soneatat
    ime.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Howdodogsr
    espondSi
    ka?
    ”

    Heaskst
    hisi
    diotnextt
    ohi
    m.

    Si
    ka:
    “Theybar
    kbaba.
    ”

    Her
    espondswi
    thadeept
    hroat
    yvoi
    ce.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Then,
    whyi
    sthi
    sonenotbar
    king?
    ”

    Si
    ka:
    “Mhl
    awumbeuy
    isi
    mungul
    u.”(
    May
    behei
    sdumb.
    )

    Theybur
    stouti
    nlaught
    erexceptf
    orMkhi
    ze,
    Ilookupathi
    m andhehast
    hishaught
    ysmi
    rkon
    hi
    sface.

    Mkhi
    ze:“
    Unl
    essy
    oureal
    lyar
    edumbmgodoy
    i,Iwanty
    out
    orespond.Ihat
    ebei
    ngi
    gnor
    ed,
    it
    makesmewantt
    oki
    l
    l.”

    Hest
    atesi
    nahost
    il
    etone.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Letmer
    ephr
    ase,
    you’
    reagooddogar
    en’
    tyou?
    ”

    Ibar
    konceandt
    heyl
    augh.

    Mhkize:
    “You’
    realazydog.Onebar
    knj
    e?HaiSdudl
    a,t
    wony anaatl
    east
    ?Orthree?Yes,
    giv
    eme
    t
    hreegoodbarksanddon’tmakemeaskagai
    nbecauseIcandothi
    sthewholeday.”

    Heaf
    fi
    rms.

    Ibracemy sel
    f,Ihavel
    ostmysel
    f-
    respectso,
    Imi
    ghtaswel
    l
    .Ibar
    kloudl
    ythr
    eet
    imes,
    sendi
    ng
    thebloodyfoolsonanot
    hert
    ri
    poflaughter
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    47*

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbusocamehomewi thgroceri
    es,hesaidhe’
    scookingtoday
    .Iwantedtoprotest
    ,consi
    der
    ing
    t
    hathel
    ivesoncereal
    anddr ypi
    zza.I’
    m sit
    ti
    ngonaki t
    chenbarstool
    whil
    ewat chi
    nghim dohi
    s
    magi
    c,f
    orlackofabetterwordbecauseIhavenocluewhatwi l
    lcomeoutofthosepots.

    Ifi
    ndmy selfadmir
    inghiminanapronashemov esaboutinthekitchen,
    Iam awomanandmy
    eyeswonderwhenIseeoneofGod’ sshowoffs.Thewayhi slegsmov einthoseti
    ghtjeans,
    theydon’
    tlookheav yf
    rom t
    hisvi
    ew.Thefurr
    owonhi sforeheadwhenhei sfocussed,
    andt he
    l
    itt
    levi
    ctorydancehedoesaf t
    ert
    astinghi
    sfood,thi
    nki
    nghenai l
    edit.

    Het
    urns,
    cat
    chesmest
    ari
    ngandsmi
    rks.I
    tmakesmeshi
    ver
    .

    Il
    ookawayandcl
    earmyt
    hroat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Shoul
    dn’
    tyoubemaki
    ngt
    hegr
    avy
    ?”

    Theamusementi
    nhi
    svoi
    cei
    sloudert
    hant
    henoi
    seoft
    hemor
    ningt
    raf
    fi
    cinJobur
    g.

    Me:
    “No,
    yousai
    dyou’
    reapr
    o.Letmenotgeti
    ntheway
    .”

    Ir
    ipost
    e,t
    ryi
    ngt
    ogetmyey
    est
    obehav
    eso,
    Ist
    opl
    ooki
    ngl
    i
    keani
    diot
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Thr
    owi
    ngmeundert
    hebusIsee?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Me:“
    Youoff
    eredMr
    .XabaandIdonoti
    nvol
    vemy
    sel
    finpeopl
    e’
    smat
    ter
    s.Il
    ett
    hem dowhat
    t
    heywantt
    odo.”

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    sendshi
    shandbehi
    ndhi
    sneckandr
    ubsi
    t.

    Mbuso:
    “Wow,
    Miss…”

    Henar
    rowshi
    sey
    esatme.

    Me:
    “Mngoma.
    ”

    Mbuso:“
    MissMngoma,
    you’
    resomet
    hingel
    sear
    en’
    tyou?Now,
    Iknowwhonott
    ocal
    lwhenI
    needt
    ohideabody.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Justknowmynumberwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sbeonv
    oicemai
    l
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Appr
    eci
    atet
    heheadsup,
    samegoesf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m gl
    adwe’
    reont
    hesamepage.
    ”
    Hesneer
    swhil
    e,asIl
    augh.Hetur
    nst
    oopent
    hef
    ri
    dge,
    dipshi
    sheadandcomesoutwi
    thaj
    ug
    off
    reshl
    ooki
    ngmangojuice.

    Me:“
    Youknow,I
    ’m sti
    l
    lint
    hedar
    kaboutwhat
    ’sont
    hemenu,
    Isawy
    out
    hrowi
    ngi
    nsomest
    icks
    andy
    ouhaven’
    tstoppedst
    ir
    ri
    ng.
    ”

    Hef
    rownsatmewhi
    l
    epour
    ingt
    hej
    uicei
    nagl
    ass.

    Mbuso:
    “Hahaha,
    funny
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    m hungr
    y,t
    hesmel
    li
    smaki
    ngmymout
    hwat
    er.
    ”

    Iconf
    ess.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m al
    mostdone,
    justhav
    etol
    ett
    hemeat
    bal
    l
    ssi
    mmer
    .Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    olov
    ethi
    s.”

    Me:
    “Spaghet
    tiandmeat
    bal
    l
    s?I
    ’
    m notaf
    an,
    I’
    m mor
    eofapapt
    ypeofgi
    rl
    .”

    Hehandsmet
    hegl
    assandIsmi
    l
    eathi
    ski
    ndness.

    Mbuso:
    “Wai
    tti
    l
    lyout
    ast
    emyf
    ood,
    noonecooksl
    i
    keme.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksi
    mpr
    essedwi
    thhi
    msel
    f.

    Me:
    “Concei
    tedar
    en’
    twe?
    ”

    Het
    it
    ter
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “So,
    howol
    dar
    eyou?
    ”

    Heasksashesi
    psonagl
    assofwi
    ne,
    that
    ’sr
    ight
    ,Igett
    ohav
    ethi
    cksweetj
    uicewhi
    l
    eheenj
    oys
    areal
    dri
    nk.

    Me:
    “Ni
    net
    een.
    ”

    Hechokesonhi
    sdr
    inkandl
    ooksatmewi
    they
    eswi
    deopen.

    Iam conf
    usedbyt
    hehor
    ri
    fi
    clookonhi
    sface.

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “You’
    resoy
    oung.
    ”

    Hegaspsoutwhathi
    sbr
    aincont
    ained.

    Me:
    “Youngadul
    t.
    ”

    Icor
    recthi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “Yeahbut
    ,Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouhav
    ebeent
    hroughsomuchatsuchay
    oungage.
    ”

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    tei
    ther
    .

    Me:
    “Li
    fer
    eject
    edmeatanear
    lyageIguess.
    ”

    Ishr
    ug,
    het
    oddl
    est
    omeandl
    eansov
    ert
    hecount
    erf
    aci
    ngme.
    Mbuso:
    “Don’
    tsayi
    tli
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Her
    epr
    imandsme.

    Me:
    “Howol
    dar
    eyou?
    ”

    Ideci
    denott
    oponderuponmysadness.

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    rt
    ythr
    ee.
    ”

    Her
    eveal
    swi
    thouthesi
    tat
    ion.

    Me:
    “You’
    resur
    elyt
    reat
    ingt
    hatt
    hir
    tyt
    hreepr
    ett
    ywel
    lhey
    .”

    Idon’
    tknowwher
    ethatcamef
    rom andi
    t’
    stool
    atet
    otakei
    tback.

    Hesmir
    ks,hav
    ingmer ol
    lmyeyes.Thesil
    encewelcomesanel
    ephanti
    nther
    oom,
    tooawkwar
    d.
    Mbusocl
    earshist
    hroatandamblesbacktothest
    ov e.

    Mbuso:
    “It
    hinki
    t’
    sdone.
    ”

    Hepredi
    ctsonhi
    swayther
    e,Iwat
    chhi
    m asheopenstheli
    danddi
    pshisnosein.Hegrabsa
    spoon,t
    ast
    esthef
    oodandther
    egoest
    hatdanceagai
    n.Igi
    ggl
    eatwhatIam observ
    ing.

    I
    tdoesn’
    ttakel
    ongf
    orMbusot
    odi
    shup,
    we’
    reseat
    edt
    oget
    hernowandt
    hef
    oodsmel
    l
    sdi
    vi
    ne.

    There’
    sthi
    sbot
    tl
    eofwineont
    hetabl
    ethathasmynameoni
    tbut
    ,Icannoti
    ndul
    gebecauseof
    thi
    sbigheadgr
    owingi
    nsi
    deme.

    Mbusol ooksatmei
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    yasItast
    ethefood,
    Icl
    osemyey esatt
    hemout h-
    water
    ing
    sensati
    oninmymouthanddoal i
    tt
    ledance.Ipopt
    hem openwhenIhearhi
    m breat
    heasighof
    rel
    ief
    .

    KHETHU*

    Newsanchor
    :ITI
    SSAI DTHATTHEREWASASHOOTOUTATCHRI SHANIBARAGWANATH
    HOSPITALTODAY.THEWI TNESSESSAYTHEGUNSHOTSBEGANAROUND4PM,TWOPOLICE
    OFFI
    CERSWEREKI LLEDINTHELINEOFDUTYANDNOSUSPECTSWEREFOUNDATTHE
    SCENEOFTHECRI ME!!
    !

    Me:
    “WhydoIhav
    eaf
    eel
    i
    ngt
    hatt
    hishasSt
    yles’
    namewr
    it
    tenoni
    t.
    ”

    Neol
    aughsasi
    fIcr
    ackedaj
    oke.

    Neo:“
    Yohhai nahanangoana,
    Sty
    loskelehl
    anya.OtsebaengkashootouttsoahoSoweto.
    Kusekasil
    apha,diepl
    eketsabodarki
    e.Whatdoesheknowaboutt er
    ror
    ism?You’r
    egiv
    inghim
    toomuchcreditnow.Iknowkemothooahaumar ay oh,
    kant
    iler
    atoleso?Reajut
    hanafela?Hai
    keaetsabatl
    oftlof
    .”
    (
    Imaginebabe,
    Styl
    esisanidiot
    .Whatdoesheknowaboutshoot
    out
    sfr
    om Sowet
    o?That’
    sthe
    t
    ownshipandblackpeopl
    elivether
    e.Iknowt
    hathei
    syourmanbut,
    wow.I
    slovel
    iket
    his?We
    misl
    eadeachother?Ir
    espectsex.)

    Me:
    “Ther
    eisachi
    l
    dher
    eNeo,
    wat
    chwhaty
    ousay
    .”

    Neo:
    “Haaut
    loel
    ethooe.
    ”(Shecan’
    thearany
    thi
    ng.
    )

    Li
    yana:
    “Whati
    stl
    oft
    lofuncl
    eNeo?
    ”(Whati
    ssex?
    )

    Sheasksasshel
    ooksathi
    m,t
    hisi
    sexact
    lywhatIwasaf
    rai
    dof
    .

    Neo:
    “Kekgogonana,
    eeal
    oma.
    ”(I
    t’
    sar
    oachbabyandi
    tbi
    tes.
    )

    Me:
    “Neo?
    ”

    Isnapathi
    m.

    Neo:“Thechi
    l
    dasked,keet
    seng.Ther
    e’snot
    hingwr
    ongi
    nteachi
    ngheraboutt
    hebi
    rdsandt
    he
    bees.
    ”(Whatshoul
    dIdo?)

    Iam def
    eat
    ed,
    Ican’
    t,
    real
    l
    y.

    Li
    yana:
    “Bi
    rdsandbees,
    that
    ’ssexr
    ight
    ?”

    OhLor
    d.Whati
    shappeni
    ngher
    e?

    Neocov
    ershermout
    hwi
    thhi
    shand.

    Neo:
    “Kengoanaoamangoe?Someonemustcomegett
    hei
    rchi
    ld.Chi
    omat akethi
    schi
    l
    dto
    bedt
    uu,r
    eutloal
    i
    nthomona.”(
    Whosechi
    l
    disthi
    s?Wearehear
    ingthi
    ngshere.
    )

    Hesay
    slooki
    ngshocked.

    Chi
    omai
    sjustsi
    tt
    ingt
    her
    ewat
    chi
    ngt
    henewsasi
    fherl
    ongl
    osthusbandi
    ssett
    oappear
    .

    Howdoesshenotf
    indt
    hisappal
    l
    ing?

    Me:
    “Li
    ya,
    wher
    edi
    dyouheart
    hatwor
    dfr
    om?
    ”

    Li
    yana:“
    Uncl
    eJoseph,Iwasinmyroom andIhear
    dmommyscr eaming.So,Ir
    antocheckand
    sawhim ont
    opofheronthecouch.WhenIcri
    edandbeggedhimt ostop,hesaidt
    heyare
    havi
    ngsexandit
    ’snor
    mal f
    oradul
    ts.Hel
    ockedmeoutsi
    deafterthatandsaidhewill
    letmein
    whenheisdonemakingmommyhappy .”

    Chi
    oma:
    “What
    ?”

    Now,
    shedeci
    dest
    oengage.

    Ial
    socannotbel
    i
    evewhatIam hear
    ing.

    Neo:
    “KemangJosef
    a?Ut
    lany
    ela,
    masi
    paaehae.
    ”(Whoi
    sJoseph?Hewi
    l
    lregr
    ett
    his.
    )

    Heissoangr
    yri
    ghtnowandit’
    ski
    ndofstrangebecauseNeoi
    salwaysthi
    sjoll
    yper
    son.It
    akea
    conf
    usedLi
    yanaf
    rom hi
    slapandcar
    ryherinmyarms.Chiomaisonherfeetgawki
    ngatus.
    Neoisnowpacingupanddown,
    Ithi
    nkhe’
    str
    yingt
    ocal
    m hi
    msel
    f.He’
    smumbl
    i
    ngwor
    dsI
    cannotmakeout.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Li
    yababy
    .Whatdoy
    oumeanhel
    ockedy
    ouout
    side?
    ”

    Shet
    akesherf
    rom me.

    Liy
    ana:
    “Hesai
    dImustst ayout
    sideunti
    lhe’
    sdonemaki
    ngmommyhappyandt
    hatIwon’
    thear
    thi
    ngst
    hatIam notsupposedt
    ohear.”

    Whyi
    sshemaki
    ngt
    hechi
    l
    drepeather
    sel
    f?

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma,
    takehert
    obedpl
    ease.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Wai
    t.
    ”

    Het
    akesaf
    ewst
    epst
    othem.

    Neo:
    “Nana,
    diduncl
    eJosephev
    ert
    ouchy
    ouwher
    ehei
    snotsupposedt
    o?”

    Shel
    ooksconf
    usedbut
    ,shakesherheadany
    way
    .

    Ididn’
    tknowNeowast hi
    sprotect
    iveofthi
    schil
    d,Iknowhe’
    smorecl
    oset
    oSt
    ylest
    hanRandal
    l
    .
    Itcoul
    dbethatRandal
    ldoesn’
    tentert
    ainhi
    sclowningmoments.

    Neo:
    “Okay
    ,goodni
    ghtnana.
    ”

    Hebr
    ushesherhead,
    Chi
    omawal
    ksawaywi
    thheri
    nherar
    ms.

    Me:
    “OhmyGodNeo.Whathav
    etheydonet
    othi
    schi
    l
    d?”

    Neo:
    “Haket
    sebeNdl
    ovukazi
    mar
    abat
    lany
    ela.
    ”(Idon’
    tknowqueenbut
    ,theywi
    l
    lpayf
    ort
    his.
    )

    Me:
    “Wehav
    etot
    ell
    Randal
    l
    .”

    Neo:
    “No,
    ogaot
    lahl
    any
    a,ot
    lababhodi
    sa.
    ”(Bosswi
    l
    lgocr
    azy
    ,hewi
    l
    lki
    l
    lthem.
    )

    “
    Whoi
    sRandal
    lki
    l
    li
    ng?
    ”

    Wet
    urnt
    oNkomo’
    svoi
    ce,
    he’
    ssoaki
    ngwetandhi
    scl
    othesar
    ebl
    oodi
    ed.

    SETHU*

    Mr.MkhizeaskedthatIwatchoverhi
    sfri
    end,hesaidhewil
    lpaymef orovert
    ime.Heisbei
    ng
    kepti
    napr i
    vateroom andIdon’
    tknowhowMr .Mkhizegotadoct
    ort otr
    eathi
    m.Hewast aken
    tosur
    geryandt hebul
    letwasremoved.Ever
    ythi
    ngwasdonepr i
    vat
    elyandIknowt heyar
    ehidi
    ng
    somethi
    ngbut,ithasnothi
    ngtodowi t
    hme.

    Hi
    srecov
    eryt
    hough,
    lookspr
    omi
    sing.

    Ihav
    ebeenwat
    chi
    ngov
    erhi
    m si
    nce.
    It
    urnt
    othesoundoft
    hedooropeni
    ng,
    Lebof
    rownsatme.

    Lebo:
    “You’
    vegott
    obeki
    ddi
    ngme,
    you’
    rest
    il
    lher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Am Isupposedt
    obesomewher
    eel
    se?
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Yes,
    home.Wewer
    etol
    dtogohome,
    remember
    ?”

    If
    rownather
    ,fai
    l
    ingt
    ocompr
    ehendwhyshei
    ssowor
    kedup.

    Me:
    “Ev
    ery
    thi
    nghaspassedLebo,
    att
    heendoft
    hedaywehav
    ewor
    ktodo.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Ar
    gh,
    Idon’
    tunder
    standhowy
    ouagr
    eedt
    ohel
    pthi
    sman.Weal
    mostdi
    edSet
    hu.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Foranur
    sewhohel
    pedhi
    m,y
    ousur
    esoundhost
    il
    e.”

    Lebo:“May
    beifhedidn’
    thav
    eaguni
    nhi
    shandIwoul
    dhav
    ehel
    pedhi
    m whol
    ehear
    tedl
    y,he’
    s
    nothi
    ngbutacri
    minal.
    ”

    Me:
    “Hecanheary
    ou,
    youknow?
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Idon’
    tcar
    e.Whati
    swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Whydoy
    ousuddenl
    ycar
    eaboutt
    hisst
    ranger
    ?”

    Me: “
    Unli
    keyouLebo,
    thisisnotjustaj
    ob,I’
    m passi
    onateabouthelpi
    ngpeopl
    e.Yes,what
    happenedtodaywast
    raumat i
    c.But,weshouldn’
    tgoaroundjudgi
    ngpeoplewi
    thoutknowi
    ng
    ful
    lywhytheydowhattheydo.”

    Shel
    aughsoutl
    oud,
    notmi
    ndi
    ngt
    hesl
    eepi
    ngpat
    ient
    .

    Lebo:
    “Mot
    herTer
    esa,
    you’
    recr
    azyi
    fyout
    hinkt
    hismani
    sagoodper
    sonaf
    terwhaty
    ousaw.
    ”

    Sheexpr
    esses,
    IknowLebot
    obenegat
    iveandherat
    ti
    tudet
    owar
    dst
    hismandoesn’
    tsur
    pri
    se
    me.

    Me:
    “Whenwi
    l
    lyoust
    artseei
    ngpeopl
    easpeopl
    eLebo?Notev
    erymani
    sli
    key
    ourf
    ather
    .”

    Shegaspsi
    nshockatmypr
    ocl
    amat
    ion.

    Thi
    sisasensi
    ti
    vet
    opi
    cforher
    ,Lebo’
    sfat
    heri
    sadr unkar
    dwhophy
    sical
    l
    yabuseshermot
    her
    andsomet
    imestur
    nshi
    shandonherandhersibl
    i
    ngs.

    Meandmybi
    gmout
    h…

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    t…”

    Lebo:
    “Voet
    sekSet
    hu,
    Voet
    seky
    ezwa?
    ”(Pi
    ssof
    fSet
    hu.
    )

    Shecussesf
    uri
    ousl
    yandst
    ormsoutoft
    her
    oom.

    FRANCO*
    Ij
    umpupf
    rom t
    hehospi
    tal
    bedasIf
    eel
    ahar
    dsl
    aponmycheek.Ther
    oom i
    sempt
    y,i
    t’
    sjust
    me.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sther
    e?”

    Ishout,
    asIfr
    ant
    ical
    l
    yinspectmysur
    roundi
    ngs.I
    t’
    sdeadqui
    et,
    may
    beIhadadr
    eam whi
    chf
    elt
    real
    .So,Il
    i
    eonmyback.

    Theli
    ghtfl
    icker
    sonce,
    Idon’
    tpayheedtoit
    .Thesebloodyhospi
    tal
    s,i
    t’
    sti
    meIgobacktoIt
    aly.
    Myjobhereisdoneanyway,
    Okol
    ieisdeadbut,
    fir
    stIneedtodealwit
    hStyl
    es.I
    fhei
    snotdead,I
    wil
    lki
    llhi
    m.

    Acol
    dshiverr
    ippl
    esthr
    oughmeandIshudderonce,
    myhear
    tst
    art
    sthuddi
    ngheav
    il
    yagai
    nst
    mychest
    ,Icouldl
    it
    eral
    l
    yheari
    t.

    Itf
    eelsl
    ikeit
    ’sabouttosnapoutofmyr ibcage.Suddenl
    yIfeel
    aheav
    ynegati
    vepresencei
    n
    theroom andagr eatf
    eel
    ingoffearengul
    fsmet othepointt
    hat,
    mystomacht
    urns,t
    hereis
    someonei ntheroom.Icanfeel
    italt
    hough,Ican’
    tseethem.

    I
    t’
    sal
    mostl
    i
    ket
    heyar
    ecl
    oset
    omyf
    ace,
    star
    ingr
    ighti
    ntomyey
    es.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sther
    e?”

    Ishoutagai
    n,myv
    oicet
    rembl
    i
    ngasi
    tgi
    vesoutmypani
    c.

    Thi
    shastobeadream,Ishoul
    dwakeupanymi
    nut
    enow.Thel
    i
    ghtf
    li
    cker
    stwi
    cebef
    ore
    compl
    etel
    ygoi
    ngoff,
    leav
    ingmeinthedar
    k.

    Withfearlaughingatme, Isitupandshoutfort
    henursebut,myvoi
    cewon’tcomeout .There
    arewordsbut ,noaudio.Ifeelsomeoneswooshpastmeandt r
    ytogetupbut,Ican’
    tmov e.My
    feetar
    en’tworking,t
    heyar eparal
    yzed.Idon’
    tunder
    stand,
    theywereokayafewmi nutesago.

    ThenIseei
    t,ashadowont hedoor
    .Iyelpi
    nfearandmybodyi
    strembl
    ing.I
    tmustbeademon,
    i
    trai
    sesapoint
    edfingeratme.Iwanttoscr
    eam but,
    myvoi
    ceisgone.

    Myspiri
    tfi
    ghts,
    whileIam lyi
    ngont hi
    sdamnbed,defencel
    ess.Suddenl
    yIfeelsomet
    hingpul
    l
    t
    hebedsheetandat i
    ghtgri
    pclutchesonmyneck,i
    tdepriv
    esmeofai randIfailt
    ofi
    ghtagai
    nst
    i
    t.Ican’
    tevensti
    fl
    eascr eam asIam bei
    ngst
    rangl
    edbyaf orceIcannotsee.

    “
    Sirwakeup.
    ”

    Ij
    umpt othevoi
    ceofafemalenurse,
    I’
    m wheezi
    ngandpani
    cki
    ngasIam st
    ruggl
    i
    ngt
    obr
    eat
    he
    whil
    e,t
    ryi
    ngtogetupfr
    om thebed.

    Her
    :“Si
    r,y
    ouwi
    l
    lri
    pthest
    ichesopeni
    fyoukeepmov
    ingl
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Shepi
    nsmedown.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e…i
    s…somet
    hingher
    e.”

    Shef
    rownsatmydecl
    arat
    ion.
    Her
    :“Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tfucki
    ngknowokay
    ?Thi
    sbl
    oodyr
    oom i
    shaunt
    ed,
    Iwantt
    obet
    ransf
    err
    ednow.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    andshel
    aughs.

    Her
    :“Ar
    eyouondr
    ugssi
    r?Becauset
    heyar
    enotal
    l
    owedi
    nher
    e.”

    Shel
    ooksatmel
    i
    keI
    ’
    m aj
    unki
    e.

    Me:“Whatthef
    uckar
    ey outal
    kingabouty
    oustupi
    dbitch?I’
    mtell
    i
    ngy outhatt
    hisroom i
    s
    haunt
    ed,Idemandat
    ransferr
    ightnoworIwi
    ll
    suet hi
    sbloodyhospi
    talandevery
    oneinit
    .”

    Sheti
    lt
    sherheadbackwi
    thanatt
    it
    udeandal
    aughf
    lar
    esoutofhermout
    h.Shemar
    chest
    othe
    doorst
    il
    ll
    aughi
    ngandopensi
    t.

    Her
    :“WeMpumi
    ,wozauzobona.
    ”(Mpumi
    ,comeandsee.
    )

    Good,she’scal
    l
    ingt
    hedoct
    or.I
    ’
    m conf
    usedwhenanot
    hernur
    sewal
    ksi
    n,wear
    ingacur
    ious
    expr
    ession.

    Her
    :“Hesay
    sthi
    shospi
    tal
    ishaunt
    ed.
    ”

    Theychor
    usi
    nlaught
    er.

    Her
    :“Cabangachomi
    e.”(
    Imagi
    nemyf
    ri
    end.
    )

    “
    Sirwedon’
    tcondonedr
    ugsher
    e.”

    Thesecondnur
    sest
    atesandIam anger
    edbyt
    hei
    rat
    ti
    tudet
    owar
    dst
    his.

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouf
    ucki
    ngknowwhoIam?Iwi
    l
    lhav
    eyourj
    obs.
    ”

    Her
    :“Ohplease,
    goahead.It’
    snotl
    i
    kewe’
    rehappyher
    e.Yohamadr
    ugsngi
    yawasabachomi
    e.”
    (
    I'
    m scar
    edofdrugsmyfriend.)

    Thepierci
    ngl
    aught
    erf
    il
    lst
    her
    oom hav
    ingmef
    eel
    li
    keani
    diot
    .May
    bei
    treal
    l
    ywasadr
    eam,
    orI
    am l
    osingmymind.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    48*

    KHETHU*

    Me:
    “Whathappenedt
    oyou?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Ther
    ainhappened,
    shi
    titget
    swor
    seatni
    ght
    .”

    Me:
    “Andt
    hebl
    ood?
    ”

    Neo:
    “ Nkosazanaukamobot sajoangnthoeoutsebahorekwaMkhizebapract
    is-adi r
    it
    ual
    s.
    Thewitchcr
    aftint
    hatfami
    l
    ywi l
    lmakey oumov ei
    ntoachurchanduphelel
    ebarutif
    eela.
    ”(How
    canyouaskhi mthat
    ?KnowingthattheMkhizespr
    acti
    ceri
    tual
    s.)(
    Andli
    vewit
    hpastors.)

    Me:
    “Don’
    tbesi
    l
    lyNeo.
    ”

    Neo:“Si
    ll
    y?Don’tcal
    lmewheny oucan’
    tsleepatnightbecauseobatl
    ahot
    sebakabophel
    oba
    bonabehindcl
    oseddoors.Keengkhomo?Oneont seonwamadi ?”(
    Youwantt
    oknowabout
    thei
    rsecr
    etli
    ves.Whati
    sitcow?Wer eyoudrinki
    ngblood?”

    Nkomo:
    “Ot
    lony
    elasaani
    .”(
    Youwi
    l
    lshi
    tyour
    sel
    f.
    )

    Nkomor
    etor
    tsannoy
    edbyNeo’
    sfor
    war
    dness.Iwon’
    tli
    e,i
    t’
    sget
    ti
    ngonmyner
    vesr
    ightnow.

    Neo:
    “Bat
    hat
    heNkomos.
    ”(Showt
    hem Nkomo.
    )

    Me:
    “NotnowNeo,
    Iswearonemor
    ewor
    dfr
    om y
    ouandIwi
    l
    llosei
    t.
    ”

    Ishoutathi
    m andhei
    snotdazedatal
    l
    .

    Neo:
    “Yohmoshebel
    le.Ikeepsayi
    ngthatSt
    ylesl
    eogaarenotgoodcompany,
    ever
    y oneis
    gr
    umpynow.Whodowet al
    ktointhi
    shouse?Iam goi
    ngtosi
    twithUze,
    atl
    eastorobetseso,
    I
    won’
    thavet
    ofacehi
    sdar kat
    ti
    tude.(
    Lookather.
    )(He’
    ssl
    eepi
    ng.)

    Hesaysashest
    art
    sstr
    oll
    i
    ngaway
    ,heexchangesagl
    ancewi
    thNkomoandIj
    ustknow
    somet
    hingwassai
    d.

    Me:
    “Whatwast
    hat
    ?”

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ?”

    Iknowhewi
    l
    lnotgi
    vemeananswer
    .

    Me:
    “Wher
    eisSt
    yles?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Busi
    nesst
    ri
    p.Ther
    e’ssomet
    hinghehast
    otakecar
    eofso,
    hewon’
    tbecomi
    nghome.
    ”

    Imustbehear
    ingt
    hings.

    Me:
    “That
    ’si
    t,I
    ’
    m done.Iwi
    l
    lnott
    oler
    atet
    hisany
    mor
    e.”
    Nkomo:
    “Whatdoy
    oumean?It
    oldy
    ouSt
    yleshasbusi
    nesst
    otakecar
    eof
    .”

    Hei
    sly
    ingt
    ome.

    Me:“St
    opcov
    eri
    ngupf
    orhi
    m Nkomo,
    Sty
    lesi
    snot
    hingbutal
    i
    ar.He’
    swi
    thanot
    herwomani
    sn’
    t
    he?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “That
    ’sal
    i
    ttl
    eabsur
    ddon’
    tyout
    hink?
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lshowhi
    m absur
    d.

    Me:“
    Whenyourf
    ri
    endhashadal
    lthef
    unanddeci
    desi
    t’
    sti
    met
    ogr
    owup,
    tel
    lhi
    m heknows
    wher
    etof
    indme.”

    It
    urnt
    owal
    kbut
    ,hecl
    utchesmyar
    m andIy
    anki
    tfr
    om hi
    m.

    Nkomo:
    “It
    ’snotwhaty
    ou’
    ret
    hinki
    ng,
    Iswear
    .St
    yleswoul
    dnev
    erdot
    hatt
    oyou.
    ”

    Me:“Thenwherethehellis?Iknowther
    eisnobusinesst
    rip,si
    ncewhendoeshegoon
    busi
    nesstr
    ips?I’
    m notstayingonemoresecondinthi
    splace,t
    hatmanisungrat
    eful
    .If
    oll
    owed
    hi
    m herebecausehisfr
    iendneededhim,Ihavebeentaki
    ngcareofthi
    ngsinthi
    shouseNkomo
    andthi
    sishowSt yl
    esthanksme.Iam donewi t
    hhim.”

    Iy
    ell
    atadef
    eat
    edl
    ooki
    ngNkomo.

    “
    Nev
    ermakeami
    stakeofdi
    srespect
    ingy
    ourmanl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    It
    urnt
    oChi
    oma’
    svoi
    ce,
    she’
    str
    udgi
    ngdownt
    hest
    air
    s.

    Me:
    “Excuseme?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:“Youheardme,
    hewillmeetsomeonewhor
    espectshi
    m.Respecti
    sabigdeal
    tomen
    Khet
    hu,
    Iam tel
    li
    ngyout
    hisbecauseyouar
    eli
    keadaught
    ertome.Justashei
    slikemyson.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    yleswi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    eav
    eme.
    ”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    esather
    .

    Chioma:“That
    ’sanot
    hermistakewomenmake,youwalkal
    loverhi
    mt hinki
    nghewi l
    lneverl
    eave
    youbecausehelovesyou.Youarenott
    heonl
    ywomant osaythisandhav ethei
    rmenleave
    them.Evenhusbandshaveseparat
    edfr
    om t
    hei
    rwivesbecauseoflackofrespecti
    ntheunion.
    ”

    Me: “
    Soyouwantmet osubmi tt
    ohim,andlethi
    m dowhat
    everhewant
    swhi
    l
    e,Isi
    tbackand
    cheerhi
    m on?Thati
    spatri
    archyandIwil
    lnotbowdowntoit.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:“
    Idi
    dn’
    tsayt
    hatKhet
    hu,y
    ouar
    enotl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ome.Remembert
    hat
    ,not
    hingbi
    ndsy
    ou
    tot
    hatman,
    any
    onecantakehi
    m.”

    Me:“Iwi
    llnothavef
    ouryear
    sofmyli
    fegodownt
    hedr
    ain,
    Iam notl
    osi
    ngSt
    ylest
    oanywoman
    andIref
    usetolethi
    m dowhatev
    erhewant
    s.”

    Nkomohasgonequi
    etandIhav
    eaf
    eel
    i
    nghei
    snotaboutt
    osayany
    thi
    ng.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Peopl
    ecr
    yov
    ersev
    ent
    oteny
    ear
    sofwast
    edt
    imei
    nrel
    ati
    onshi
    ps,
    womenar
    elef
    tto
    besinglemothersandwi vesdi
    v orcees.Thi
    sistherealworl
    dmychi l
    d,wecan’tcl
    aimthi
    ngs.
    Nothingisevert
    rulyy our
    sandbyt her at
    eyou’r
    egoing,St
    yleswill
    soongetti
    redofyour
    i
    mpudence, i
    twilldrainhim.Al
    thoughi twil
    lbehardforhi
    mt oleaveyou,
    anotherwomanwill
    gi
    vehi mthatstr
    engt handthefinalpush.”

    Me:
    “Whydoest
    hissoundl
    i
    keacur
    seChi
    oma?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “It
    ’snotKhet
    hu,
    shei
    sshowi
    ngy
    out
    hel
    i
    ghtasanel
    derwi
    thl
    i
    feexper
    ience.
    ”

    It
    houghthewasst
    ayi
    ngoutoft
    his,
    spoket
    oosoon.

    Me:“
    Whatexper
    ience?Asf
    arasIknowChi
    omahasnev
    erbeenmar
    ri
    edso,
    Idon’
    tneedadv
    ice
    f
    rom awomanwhohasneverhadamantokeep.
    ”

    Myresponsebr
    eaksher
    ,ast
    earsswellupinhereyes,i
    nst
    ant
    lyIr
    egr
    etmywor
    dsoff
    ury
    .Li
    ke
    t
    hestrongwomanIknowhertobe,shefi
    ghtsthem back.

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    'sokaymychi
    l
    d,j
    ustheedmyadv
    ice.Idon’
    twanty
    out
    obehear
    tbr
    oken.
    ”

    Shepat
    smycheekandwal
    ksbackupst
    air
    s.

    Nkomol
    ooksatmel
    i
    keIam t
    hewor
    ld’
    smeanestper
    son.

    Nkomo:
    “Wow!
    ”

    AMARA*

    Kazi
    :“Iwast
    oldt
    ost
    ayi
    nher
    ewi
    thy
    out
    hewhol
    eni
    ght
    ,justi
    ncasey
    oumi
    ghtneedsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Shesay
    sasshepr
    epar
    esanaer
    ospacebed,
    it’
    scomf
    ort
    ingt
    oknowt
    hatIwon’
    tbeal
    onei
    nthi
    s
    cr
    eepyroom.

    Me:
    “Doy
    oupossi
    blyhav
    eacl
    ueast
    owhyMkhi
    zet
    ookme?
    ”

    Shepausesandl
    ooksatme,
    Iseepi
    tyi
    nherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ?”

    Kazi
    :“Ihear
    doneofhi
    swi
    vessay
    ingt
    hat
    ,ther
    ewi
    l
    lbeaweddi
    ngaf
    tert
    hef
    uner
    al.
    ”

    God!Pl
    easet
    ell
    meshe’
    snotsay
    ingwhatIt
    hinkshei
    s.

    Me:
    “Weddi
    ng?
    ”

    Iwhi
    spert
    hewor
    dsout
    .

    Kazi
    :“Hi
    sbr
    otherdi
    edandthefuner
    alwil
    lbet
    hisSundayandaf
    ewday
    saf
    tert
    hef
    uner
    al,
    ther
    e
    wil
    lbeaweddi
    ng.Yourweddi
    ngAmar a.
    ”

    Myhear
    tst
    ops.
    Me:
    “What
    ?No,
    Ican’
    tgetmar
    ri
    ed.Towho?I
    shemar
    ryi
    ngmeof
    ftosomeone?
    ”

    Kazi
    :“Unf
    ort
    unat
    ely
    ,he’
    sthegr
    oom.
    ”

    Shesay
    sitoccasi
    onal
    l
    yli
    kei
    t’
    snotabi
    gdeal
    .Iwoul
    drat
    herdi
    ethanbemar
    ri
    edt
    othatol
    dman.

    Ol
    ivi
    awalksi
    ntheroom st
    oppingmef r
    om r
    espondi
    ngt
    othatawf
    ulnews.She’
    swear
    inga
    pr
    oudlookonherf
    ace,Iam surpr
    isedt
    oseeherher
    e.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Ifi
    tisn’
    tthef
    utur
    eMr
    s.Mkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Shet
    aunt
    s.

    Ican’
    tcomprehendwhyshei
    shereandwhyt
    hesmugl
    ook.Il
    ookatKazi
    whot
    urnsawayand
    conti
    nuesf
    ixi
    ngherpl
    aceofsl
    eep.

    Me:
    “You’
    reOl
    i
    viar
    ight
    ?Randal
    l
    ’s…”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Themot
    herofhi
    schi
    l
    d,t
    heonl
    ywomanwhoshoul
    dbei
    nhi
    sli
    fe.
    ”

    Sheplodst
    othebedandsi
    tsontheedge,shest
    art
    strai
    li
    ngherf
    inger
    sinosci
    l
    lat
    iononmyar
    m.
    Heracti
    onspr
    omptanunset
    tl
    ingsensat
    ionasIgl
    areatherwi
    thajumbledl
    ook.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Ol
    iv
    ia:“
    I’
    mt her
    easonyou’
    reher
    e.YouknowwhenIsawy
    oui
    nRandal
    l
    ’shouset
    hatday
    ,Iknew
    t
    hatIhadtogetri
    dofy
    ou.

    Ihatecompeti
    ti
    onAmaraandhav i
    ngbeentheonl
    ywomani nhi
    sli
    fe,
    Icoul
    dn’
    tst
    andthathis
    eyeswerewonderi
    ng.Thatmanhasalwaysbeenstonecol
    dbut
    ,Isawthewar
    mthinhiseyes
    thatdayandhowhedefendedyou.

    Hewantedy outotakemyplaceinmydaughter’
    slif
    e,Ican’thavet
    hat.That’
    swhenImetI
    Fr
    anco,Idon’tknowhowhef oundmebut,ourpathsmet .Itol
    dhim aboutRandal
    landhe
    i
    ntr
    oducedmet oMkhizeandtheresti
    shi
    stor
    y.”

    Shel
    aughs,
    Irunmyey
    est
    oKazi
    whoi
    snowgl
    anci
    ngatus.Shel
    ooksshocked.

    Kazi
    :“Randal
    l
    ?Randal
    lOkol
    i
    e?”

    Ol
    i
    viat
    urnst
    oherandgi
    vesheradi
    rt
    ylook.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “YouknowmyRandal
    l
    ?”

    Okay
    .

    Kazi
    :“Yes,
    yes,
    Iknowhi
    m.He’
    sfr
    iendswi
    thSt
    yles,
    I’
    vemethi
    m acoupl
    eoft
    imes.
    ”

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evewhatIam hear
    ing,
    all
    thi
    swhi
    l
    eIwast
    alki
    ngt
    oherandsheknewRandal
    l
    .

    Kazi
    :“Amar
    a,howdoy
    ouknowRandal
    l
    ?”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Yes,
    Amar
    a,t
    ell
    ushowy
    ouknowRandal
    l
    .”

    If
    rownather
    ,Iwi
    l
    lnotr
    espondt
    othi
    snonsense.
    Me:
    “So,
    it’
    syourf
    aul
    tthatMkhi
    ze’
    sbr
    otherki
    l
    ledRandal
    l
    ?”

    Herj
    awdr
    opsasshegasps.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    li
    snotdead.
    ”

    Shedeni
    esbut
    ,doubtdecl
    aresherst
    upi
    d.

    Me:
    “Iwast
    her
    e,t
    hatmanf
    ir
    edmul
    ti
    plebul
    l
    etsandhe…Isawhi
    m…t
    ake…hi
    slast
    …”

    Ahugel
    umpbui
    ldsuponmythr
    oatast
    hememor
    yofhi
    sdeadbodyf
    lashesi
    nmymi
    nd,
    it’
    stoo
    l
    atet
    oholdmyt
    earsback.

    Oli
    vi
    a:“Thati
    sal i
    e,Randal
    lcan’
    tbedead.Iwoul
    d’v
    eknown,someonewoul
    d’v
    etol
    dme.My
    daught
    erisinthathouse,t
    heywoul
    d’vecal
    ledmetocomfor
    ther.
    ”

    Idon’
    tcar
    ewhatshet
    hinkssheknows,
    Randal
    ldi
    edbecauseofher
    .

    Me:
    “Kar
    mawi
    l
    lvi
    sity
    ouOl
    i
    via,
    youandt
    hoseev
    ilmenFr
    ancoandMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Sheget
    supandf
    uri
    ousl
    ymar
    chesoutoft
    her
    oom.

    Kazi
    :“Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveRandal
    li
    sdead.
    ”

    Shesay
    s,sof
    tl
    y.

    NKOMO*

    Whatthehel
    li
    sgoingon?There’
    ssomeoneknockingdownst
    air
    sasi
    ftheyownt
    hishouse.The
    owneroft
    hehouseisunconsci
    ousasfarasIknow.

    Icheckt
    het
    imeonmyphoneandi
    t’
    saf
    ter2am.Whocoul
    ditbel
    ateatni
    ght
    ?

    Ir
    undownst
    air
    stof
    indNeo,
    Khet
    huandChi
    oma.

    Neo:
    “Nkomo,nt
    anteoahaookantl
    e.Tsenakel
    i
    nakotseobademonibahaebasar
    obal
    a.”
    (
    Yourfat
    heri
    soutsi
    de,
    thesear
    etheti
    meswhenhisdemonsdon’tsl
    eep.
    )

    I
    t’
    s2am.

    Whobl
    abber
    ssomuchi
    ntheear
    lyhour
    soft
    hemor
    ning?

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoust
    opandopent
    hedoor
    ?”

    Thebangi
    ngi
    sget
    ti
    ngl
    ouder
    .

    Neo:
    “Whynna?Babat
    lauena.
    ”(Whyme?I
    t’
    syout
    heywant
    .)

    Me:
    “Youar
    est
    upi
    d,y
    ouknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Cansomeoneopent
    hedoorpl
    ease?
    ”
    Isaunt
    erandopeni
    tbar
    elyacrack,t
    wodarkski
    nnedmenleeratme.Ispotanot
    herbehi
    nd
    them,he’
    scar
    ryi
    nganumbrel
    l
    a, shel
    ter
    ingt
    hem f
    rom t
    heheavyrai
    n.

    Oneoft
    hemenpushest
    hedoorwi
    deopenbef
    oreIcoul
    daskwhot
    heyar
    eandwhatt
    heywant
    .

    Me:
    “Excuseme?Whoar
    eyou?Youcan’
    tjustbudgei
    ntopeopl
    e’
    shousesl
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Kemangkhomo?
    ”(Whoi
    sitcow?
    )

    Hey
    ell
    sfr
    om t
    hest
    air
    s.

    Theystepi
    nandt
    heguywi
    tht
    heumbr
    ell
    aremai
    nsout
    sideandshut
    sthedoor
    ,If
    indal
    lthi
    sver
    y
    st
    range.

    Thesetwoar edressedinNigeri
    antradi
    tionalcl
    othi
    ng,i
    fIam notmistaken.NowthatIl
    ookat
    them undertheli
    ght,onei
    solder.Probablyar
    oundSi xt
    yandtheothercouldbethi
    rt
    yfiv
    e.What
    baff
    lesmei sthat,
    theybothlookli
    keRandal l
    .

    “
    Wher
    eismyson?
    ”

    Theol
    dermanasks,
    Neoandt
    hecr
    ewt
    oddl
    etous.Theyal
    sol
    ookasbewi
    l
    der
    edasIam.

    Neo:
    “Kemango?Ehnt ante,
    entlekut
    soakae?Thi
    sisMzansi,wedon’tgoar
    oundrekokot
    anj
    e
    i
    npeopl
    e’shousesbosi
    u.Batlauchesa.
    ”(Whoist
    his?Si
    r,wheredoyoucomefrom?)
    (
    Knocki
    ng.)(
    Theywil
    lburnyou.)

    Theol
    dmanshoot
    shi
    m onecol
    dlookandIi
    mmedi
    atel
    yseeRandal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Ohshi
    t.
    ”

    Iexpr
    ess,
    hef
    rownsatme.

    “
    Ist
    hishowpeopl
    ear
    egr
    eet
    edi
    nthi
    scount
    ry?
    ”

    Hi
    m agai
    n.

    Neo:
    “Ent
    lek…”

    Me:
    “Neo,
    Iwoul
    dn’
    tifIwer
    eyou.Thi
    sisRandal
    l
    ’sf
    atherandIpr
    esumey
    ou’
    rehi
    sbr
    other
    ?”

    Ipr
    obe,l
    ooki
    ngattheyoungman.Henodshi
    sheadhaught
    il
    y,wow.NowIseewher
    eRandal
    l
    get
    shisdemeanourf
    rom.

    Neo:
    “Oh!
    !Nnai
    ,you’
    rewel
    come.
    ”(El
    der
    .)

    Heext
    endsahandbut
    ,Mr
    .Okol
    i
    edoesnotacknowl
    edgei
    t.

    Mr
    .Okol
    i
    e:“
    IfIam notmi
    staken,
    mysonl
    i
    vesher
    e.Mycont
    act
    sledmet
    othi
    spl
    ace.
    ”

    Hi
    scont
    act
    shesay
    s.

    Howcomehewasabl etofi
    ndRandal
    lthi
    sti
    mear
    ound,
    he’
    sbeenhi
    dinghi
    swhol
    eli
    fe.If
    indi
    t
    st
    rangeandIdonotcar
    etoask.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easecomei
    nsi
    r.
    ”
    Il
    eadt
    hem t
    othel
    ounge.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easesi
    t.
    ”

    Mr
    .Okol
    i
    e:“
    Takemet
    omyson.
    ”

    Il
    ookatNeoheshr
    ugs,
    heseemshumbl
    edsuddenl
    y.

    Me:
    “Fol
    l
    owme.
    ”

    Theyf
    oll
    owmeupt
    hest
    air
    s,t
    rustNeot
    otr
    ail
    behi
    ndus.Chi
    omaandKhet
    hur
    emai
    n.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    49*

    NOMBULELO*

    Ikeeptossi
    ngandtur
    ning,
    I’
    m unabletosleepbut,
    ital
    sof
    eelsli
    keI’
    m sl
    eepingandhavi
    nga
    baddream.Therei
    sawomanout si
    dethewi ndow,t
    hecur
    tai
    nisdrawnbut,Icanseeher
    .Ican’
    t
    makeoutherface,
    herbodythough,Ihaveseenhersomewhere.

    Mymindcan’
    tgr
    aspwhere.Shekeepspaci
    ngupanddownasi
    ftr
    yingt
    ofi
    gur
    eoutawayt
    o
    comein,
    myroom i
    spi
    tchblackandIsuddenl
    yfeel
    uneasy
    .

    Ishoul
    dgetupandcal
    lMbuso,
    may
    behewi
    l
    lchaseheraway
    .

    Forastr
    angereasonmybodyfeelsheavyanditt
    akesf or
    everandall
    thestrengt
    hinmetoget
    outofbed,
    Iclomptowardst
    hedoorthemomentmyl egshitthefl
    oor.I
    tgetshardert
    omove
    wit
    heverysecondandIendupdraggingmyfeetasiftheyhavelosti
    tsfeel
    i
    ng.

    Me:
    “Mbuso.
    ”

    IchokeasIst
    if
    lehi
    sname,
    myv
    oiceboxi
    sbl
    ockedbysomet
    hingIcan’
    texpl
    ain.

    Me:
    “Mbuso.
    ”

    Imuf f
    leagainandthetight
    nessonmyt hroatgrows.If
    inal
    l
    ygettothedoorbut
    ,toopenit
    becomesami ssi
    on.Ifeelaneedtopeekthroughthekeyholeso,
    Islouchai
    mingmyey eont
    he
    spot.Iseethatwomanagai n,she’
    sout
    sidemydoornow.Mybodybecomesheav yuponseei
    ng
    her,
    Ifeelaforceweighingmedown.

    It
    ryt
    oscr
    eam but
    ,not
    hing.Al
    lther
    eis,
    ispi
    erci
    ngsi
    l
    ence.

    Her
    :“Iwantt
    hatbabyi
    nyourwomb,
    giv
    eitt
    ome.
    ”

    Shewhi
    sper
    sinav
    oicet
    hatdoesn’
    tsoundhuman,
    shef
    lashesasmi
    l
    ethatsendsshi
    ver
    sdown
    myspi
    ne.

    Me:
    “Mmmhh,
    mmmhhh,
    mmmhhh.
    ”

    Thisi
    stheonlysoundIam abletogetout
    ,asIpushtospeakandcal
    loutforhel
    p.ThenI
    remember,
    thereispoweri
    nt hi
    snameandonl yHecangetmeoutofthissit
    uati
    on.

    Me:
    “Jesus.
    ”

    I
    tcomesoutasawhi
    speratf
    ir
    stbut
    ,atl
    eastIam abl
    etospeaknow.

    Me:
    “Jesus,
    Jesus.
    ”

    If
    inal
    lyscr
    eam andsurgef
    rom mydr
    eam l
    i
    kesomeonewokemeup.Ibrowset
    hrought
    her
    oom
    whil
    e,wheezi
    ngforai
    randmyheartr
    aci
    ngfast
    ,I’
    mrel
    i
    evedt
    hati
    twasreall
    yadr
    eam.

    Thenextt
    hingIknow,
    Ihearaknockont
    hedoor
    ,theper
    sonknocksagai
    nandopensasI
    ’
    m
    aboutt
    oinv
    itet
    hem i
    n.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o?”

    Hepeekst
    hrough.

    Mbuso:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ,Ihear
    dyouscr
    eami
    ng.
    ”

    Inod.

    Me:
    “Ihadabaddr
    eam.
    ”

    I
    tfel
    tsor
    eal
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Youneedsomecompany
    ?”

    Her
    ephr
    asesasheseesmybl
    ankst
    are.

    Mbuso:
    “Idon’
    tmeani
    tli
    ket
    hat
    …Si
    ncey
    ouhadani
    ght
    mar
    eyou’
    repr
    obabl
    yfeel
    i
    ngscar
    ed.
    ”

    Iam act
    ual
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    imei
    sit
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “Al
    i
    ttl
    eaf
    ter2am.
    ”

    Me:
    “IdoubtIwi
    l
    lbeabl
    etosl
    eepaf
    tert
    hatdr
    eam,
    I’
    ll
    goandwat
    chTVf
    orawhi
    l
    e.”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    lkeepyoucompany
    ,Ican’
    tsl
    eepei
    ther
    .May
    be,
    youcant
    ell
    meaboutt
    hatdr
    eam
    ov
    eracupoftea.
    ”

    Ishr
    ugandf
    oll
    owhi
    m out
    .

    RANDALL*

    Ifeelmybodyresti
    ngonasof tsur
    face,
    it’
    sdarkandIcan’
    tseeanyt
    hing.Icanhearconv
    ersant
    voices,
    exchangi
    ngdial
    og.TheyspeakalanguageIam famil
    i
    arwit
    hthough, i
    tishar
    dto
    understandwhatt
    heyaresayi
    ng.

    Abr
    upt
    ly,
    anunf
    ami
    l
    iarst
    rongsmel
    lfi
    l
    lsmynost
    ri
    ls,
    compel
    l
    ingmet
    osneeze.

    “
    Uze.
    ”

    Thedeepervoi
    cesaysandIcan’tshakethef
    eel
    i
    ng,Ihavehear
    dthi
    svoi
    cebefor
    e.Mynostr
    il
    s
    i
    tch,prompt
    inganot
    hersneeze.Isl
    owlyopenmyey
    est obemetbyabri
    ghtl
    ightso,
    Ishutt
    hem
    swif
    tly
    .

    “
    Uze,
    openy
    ourey
    es.
    ”

    Thev
    oiceagai
    n.
    Onemoretr
    y,Ir
    ubawaytheir
    ri
    tat
    iononmyey esasIful
    l
    yopenthem onl
    ytoseeafigureofa
    fami
    l
    iarman.Myfat
    her
    ,SegunOkoli
    e,st
    andi
    ngov ert
    hebed.Hefl
    ashesasoftbut
    ,dist
    antsmil
    e.

    Segun:
    “Uze,
    myson.
    ”

    Ishoul
    d’v
    est
    ayedasleep,
    I’
    m suddenl
    yremi
    ndedofmygr
    andf
    ather
    ’swor
    ds.Ist
    il
    ldon’
    twant
    thi
    smananywherenearme.

    “
    Randy
    ?”

    Rav
    eni
    sal
    soher
    e,he’
    sgr
    ownsi
    nceIl
    astsawhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Shi
    t,y
    oul
    ookl
    i
    keanol
    dman.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsatmyr
    etor
    t.

    Rav
    en:
    “Ol
    dman?Isee,
    amonkeyi
    slaughi
    ngathi
    smi
    rr
    orr
    efl
    ect
    ion.
    ”

    Her
    ipost
    es.

    Me:
    “You’
    reher
    e?”

    Rav
    en:
    “I’
    m her
    e.”

    Themomentbecomesemot
    ional
    ,hel
    eansov
    erandt
    akesmei
    nahug.Wehol
    ditf
    orawhi
    l
    e
    bef
    orepul
    l
    ingaway.

    Me:
    “Youknowy
    oucoul
    dhav
    ewai
    tedf
    ormet
    osi
    tup,
    I’
    m notani
    nval
    i
    d.Icanst
    il
    lmov
    e.”

    Rav
    en:
    “Thatsl
    i
    ngony
    ourshoul
    dert
    ell
    sadi
    ff
    erentst
    ory
    .”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Segun:
    “Wi
    l
    lmypr
    esencebei
    gnor
    ed?
    ”

    Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    osayt
    ohi
    m.

    Segun:
    “Uze?
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Isnap.Rav
    enpat
    shi
    sshoul
    derwhenhedr
    awsback.

    Rav
    en:
    “Fat
    her
    ,hej
    ustwokeup.Let
    ’snotsuf
    focat
    ehi
    m.”

    Segun:“
    Suff
    ocatehi
    m?Ihavewait
    edsixt
    eenyear
    stoseemysonandyoutel
    lmeI
    '
    m
    suff
    ocat
    inghim.Whatdi
    dyouthi
    nkUze?Thatyouwi
    llr
    unawayf
    orev
    er?”

    Rav
    en:
    “Fat
    herpl
    ease.
    ”

    Segun:“
    Uzoma, wai
    t.Ihav
    et osaythi
    s,heisamanr ight
    ?Hewi llt
    akei
    tli
    keaman.Sixt
    een
    year
    sUze,si
    xteenyearsIprayedandlongedforthi
    sday.ThereweredayswhenIwouldpr
    ayf
    or
    youtohaveaneardeathexperiencej
    ustso,Iwil
    lbeledtoyou.”

    Whatt
    hehel
    ldoest
    hatev
    enmean?
    Me:
    “Youwi
    sheddeat
    huponme?
    ”

    Segun:
    “Notdeat
    hbut
    ,thi
    s.Onl
    ythi
    srai
    nwoul
    dleadmet
    oyou,
    andIeager
    lywai
    tedf
    ori
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Rav
    en,
    pleaset
    ell
    yourf
    athert
    hatIam t
    ir
    edandwoul
    dli
    ket
    ogetsomer
    est
    .”

    Rav
    ensi
    ghs,
    theybot
    hknowmyst
    ubbor
    nnesshasal
    i
    feofi
    tsown.

    Segun:
    “Uze…”

    Me:
    “Andpl
    ease,
    tel
    lhi
    mtor
    efr
    ainf
    rom cal
    l
    ingmet
    hat
    .”

    Segun:
    “Whati
    swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ouson?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Fat
    her
    ,that
    ’senough.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmewhatt
    odo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Leav
    emyr
    oom,
    Rav
    enpl
    easest
    ay.
    ”

    I
    fhet
    hinksIwi
    l
    lent
    ert
    ainhi
    m,t
    henIam nothi
    sson.Icanbet
    wiceasst
    ubbor
    n.

    Segun:
    “We’
    l
    ltal
    kint
    hemor
    ning.
    ”

    Heannouncesandwal
    ksout
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Doy
    oubel
    i
    evet
    hiswhol
    esagaaboutt
    her
    ain?
    ”

    Hepul
    l
    sachai
    rtosi
    t.

    Me:
    “That
    ’samy
    th.
    ”

    Raven:“Idoubt
    ,Idon’
    theari
    tany
    mor
    e.I
    t’
    sbeenr
    aini
    ngcr
    azysi
    ncewegother
    efr
    om Ghana
    yest
    erday.”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouf
    indme?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Hesai
    dnanat
    oldhi
    minadr
    eam wher
    etol
    ocat
    eyou.
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Me:“Thi
    sist
    oomucht
    ogr
    aspandwhywoul
    dnanaspeakt
    ohi
    minadr
    eam whenhecoul
    d
    hav
    e….”

    Raven:“
    He’sdeadRandy
    ,hedi
    edayearaf
    tery
    oul
    eft
    .Hemy
    ster
    iousl
    yfel
    lsi
    ck,
    doct
    orscoul
    dn’
    t
    expl
    ainwhatwaswrongwit
    hhim.
    ”

    No,
    that
    ’swhyhedi
    dn’
    ttel
    lmewhyhewast
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryIwasn’
    tther
    e.”

    Rav
    en:
    “Enoughaboutt
    hat
    ,we’
    l
    ltal
    kint
    hemor
    ning.Youneedt
    ogetsomesl
    eep.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatt
    imei
    sit
    ?”

    Rav
    en:
    “Wi
    tchhour
    .”

    Hechor
    tl
    es,
    thedoorswi
    ngsopenandNeodi
    pshi
    sheadi
    n.Hesmi
    l
    esasheseesmeandl
    ets
    hi
    msel
    fin.

    Neo:“
    Hee,theresur
    rectedone,
    Mr .Di
    ehar
    d.wenal
    eSt
    ylos,sameWhat
    sAppgr
    oupneh.You
    werevacat
    ioni
    ngwiththeghosts?Wasitt
    hatni
    cey
    oudi
    dn’twantt
    ocomebacktous?
    ”

    Ican’
    thel
    pbutsmi
    l
    eathi
    sst
    upi
    dit
    y,Inev
    ert
    houghtIwoul
    dsayt
    hisbut
    ,it
    ’sgoodt
    oseehi
    m.

    Chi
    omaandKhet
    hufol
    lowbehi
    nd,
    Sty
    lesmustbeher
    easwel
    l
    .Iper
    usemyey
    esont
    hedoor
    ,
    wai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    mt ost
    ri
    dein.

    Khet
    hu:
    “He’
    snother
    e,he’
    sonabusi
    nesst
    ri
    p.”

    Sheexpl
    ainsasshenot
    icesmyr
    est
    lessness,
    it’
    sfol
    l
    owedbyaheav
    yey
    erol
    l
    .Somet
    hingi
    sup.
    Whatbusi
    nesstri
    p?

    Igl
    anceatNeoandhebl
    i
    nksonce,
    Sty
    lesbet
    terbeokay
    .Ican'
    tev
    enaskanyoft
    hem about
    Amara.

    MKHI
    ZE*

    “
    Wakeup.
    ”

    Aghostl
    ywhispert
    icklesmyearscausingmet oarousefr
    om adeepslumber.MaSibi
    yai
    s
    sl
    eepi
    ngsoundlybesideme,It
    urntothewi ndowandnot i
    cethatthesl
    i
    dingdoorl
    eadi
    ngtot
    he
    bal
    conyiswi
    deopenast hewi
    ndisvigorousl
    yblowingthecurt
    ain.

    Me:
    “Thi
    swomanl
    eftt
    hedooropen.
    ”

    Imummertomy
    sel
    f,t
    her
    ainhasst
    opped.I
    t’
    sst
    il
    lcl
    oudyt
    hough,
    Ishutt
    hedoorandf
    ixt
    he
    cur
    tai
    ns.

    NowIcansl
    eep.

    “
    Wakeup.
    ”

    Ihearanotherwhi
    sperandi
    gnor
    eit
    ,itmustbebecauseIam sosl
    eepyhence,
    I'
    m st
    art
    ingt
    o
    hearthi
    ngs.

    “
    WAKEUP!
    !!
    ”

    Anaut
    hor
    it
    ati
    vev
    oiceboomsi
    nmyearasi
    frepr
    imandi
    ngmef
    orsl
    eepi
    ng.

    Ij
    umpi
    nfr
    ight
    ,MaSi
    biy
    adi
    dn’
    theari
    t.She’
    sst
    il
    lsnor
    ingasi
    fther
    e’snot
    omor
    row.

    Me:
    “MaSi
    biy
    a.”

    Inudgeher
    ,shedoesn’
    tmov
    e.

    Me:
    “MaSi
    biy
    a,v
    ukamaan.
    ”(Wakeup.
    )

    Shet
    ossesandt
    urnst
    heot
    herway
    ,cont
    inueswi
    thhersnor
    es.
    Dammi
    t,Iknowt
    hiswomant
    obeal
    i
    ghtsl
    eeper
    .What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thhert
    oday
    ?

    Icoul
    dbehall
    uci
    nat
    ing,
    Ineedt
    osl
    eepi
    tof
    f.Icl
    osemyey
    esandf
    eel
    mysel
    ffal
    l
    ingi
    ntoani
    ce
    deepslumber
    .

    “
    WAKEUP!
    !!
    ”

    Thesamecommandingv
    oicej
    olt
    smef r
    om t
    hesleepandaglassshatt
    ersasi
    fsomeonet
    hrew
    i
    tagai
    nstt
    hewal
    l.It
    urnt
    omyleft,t
    her
    earepi
    ecesofglassonthefl
    oor.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sther
    e?”

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Me:
    “Showy
    our
    sel
    fyoucowar
    d?”

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Thi
    swomandoesn’
    twakeupaf
    teral
    lthi
    s,whatt
    hehel
    li
    swr
    ongwi
    thher
    .

    Me:
    “Vukamf
    azi
    .”(
    Wakeupwoman)

    Ishoutnudgi
    ngher
    ,shetossesagai
    nbut
    ,doesn’
    twakeup.Ioptnott
    owakeheragai
    n.Howwi
    l
    l
    Iexpl
    ainthi
    s?Shewil
    lthi
    nkI’
    m goi
    ngcr
    azy.

    Igetofft
    hebed,
    takei
    ncense(
    impepha)f
    rom t
    hedrawerandburni
    t,t
    hesmokehov er
    sar
    ound
    theroom.NowIwil
    lsl
    eepli
    keababy,t
    hoseevi
    lspi
    ri
    tshavenochanceagai
    nstt
    his.

    “
    WAKEUP!
    !!
    ”

    Me:
    “Shi
    t!
    !!
    ”

    Iscr
    eam asIj
    umpfrom t
    hebed,
    sweati
    ngandbreathless.I
    t’
    sli
    ghtout
    side.Thi
    sshi
    thappened
    thewhol
    enight
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tsl
    eepawink.MaSi
    biy
    aturns,openshereyesandsitsup.

    MaSi
    biy
    a:“
    Goodmor
    ningbaba.
    ”

    Me:
    “Nxa.
    ”

    If
    uri
    ousl
    ygetof
    fthebedandl
    eav
    ether
    oom.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    50*

    MBUSO*

    I
    ’
    m wokenupbymyphoner
    ingi
    ngandanswerwi
    thoutchecki
    ngt
    hecal
    l
    erI
    d.

    Me:
    “Yes.
    ”

    “
    Hey
    ,weneedy
    ouher
    e.”

    I
    t’
    sNkomo.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Igetupf
    rom t
    hef
    loor
    ,Lel
    oissl
    eepi
    ngont
    hecouch.Wemust
    ’vef
    all
    enasl
    eepwhi
    l
    ewat
    chi
    ng
    TV.

    Me:
    “IsRandal
    lokay
    ?”

    Nkomo:
    “He’
    sver
    ymuchokay
    .He’
    sawakeandhi
    sfat
    heri
    sher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,gi
    vemeanhour
    .”

    Nkomo:“Anothert
    hing,
    somet
    hinghappenedt
    oSt
    ylesandIneedy
    outotel
    lRandal
    lthenews.
    Hedoesn’tt
    rustmeandIknowhewi l
    lthr
    owmeoutthemomentheseesmeinhishouse.”

    Me:
    “Whathappenedt
    oSt
    yles?And,
    whycan’
    tyouaskNeot
    otel
    lhi
    m.”

    Nkomo:“Neoi
    saclown,
    he’
    snott
    hebestper
    sont
    obr
    eakt
    henews.Iwi
    l
    lfi
    l
    lyoui
    naboutSt
    yles
    whenyougether
    e.

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Lel
    oopensherey
    esj
    ustasIbi
    dNkomogoodby
    e.Sheswi
    pest
    hebackofhandov
    erhermout
    h
    andhi
    desaway.

    Me:
    “Tool
    ate,
    Isawy
    ourcr
    ust
    yface.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youdon’
    tlookanybet
    ter
    .”

    Shet
    hrowsbackasshegl
    ancesatme.

    Me:
    “Di
    dyousl
    eepwel
    l
    ?”

    Shesi
    tsupandst
    ret
    chesherbodywhi
    l
    e,y
    awni
    ng.

    Lel
    o:“
    Idi
    dthanks.
    ”

    Me:
    “Good,
    becauset
    hatscr
    eam scar
    edme.Honest
    ly,
    Iwasaf
    rai
    dtogobackt
    osl
    eep.Who
    scr
    eamsl
    i
    ket
    hatany
    way
    ?”

    Theat
    temptt
    omakeherl
    aughwor
    ks.

    Lel
    o:“
    Liar
    .”

    Me:
    “Woul
    dIl
    i
    etoy
    ou?
    ”

    Isi
    ngt
    hewor
    ds,
    causi
    nghert
    olaugh.

    Me:
    “I’
    m maki
    ngbr
    eakf
    ast
    .”

    Lel
    o:“Don’
    tgetmewrong,
    y ou’
    reagoodcookandIenj
    oyedl
    astni
    ght
    ’ssupperbut
    ,Idon’
    tthi
    nk
    Spaghet
    tiandmeat
    ball
    sareideal
    forbr
    eakf
    ast.
    ”

    If
    rownathersal
    l
    y.

    Me:“
    Hey
    ,Iboughtgrocer
    iesy
    est
    erdayr
    emember
    ?Ify
    out
    hinksupperwasni
    ce,
    youhav
    en’
    t
    t
    ast
    edmyFrenchtoast.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Real
    l
    y?”

    Me:
    “Yes,
    nowgoandt
    akeabat
    h.Youhav
    eani
    nter
    viewat12pm.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    NoIdon’
    t.
    ”

    If
    orgott
    otel
    lher
    .

    Me:
    “Ispoket
    oadoct
    orf
    ri
    endofmi
    ne,
    shewor
    ksatt
    hathospi
    tal
    youl
    ovesodear
    ly.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es,
    smi
    l
    ing.

    Me:
    “So,
    youmi
    ssycoul
    dbeempl
    oyedbyt
    heendoft
    oday
    .”

    Lel
    o:“
    OhmyGod,
    Mbuso,
    thanky
    ousomuch.Iowey
    oual
    ot.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    yeah.Nowgoandt
    aket
    hatbat
    h.”

    Shel
    aughsandhur
    ri
    esupst
    air
    s.

    AMARA*

    Mkhi
    zeambl
    esi
    ntot
    her
    oom andshut
    sthedoor
    ,Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hel
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Myhear
    tst
    art
    sraci
    ng.

    I
    fhet
    ri
    esany
    thi
    ng,
    Iwon’
    tbeabl
    etoescapeasIam st
    uckont
    hisbed.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Mkhize:“
    You’
    regoi
    ngtobemywi
    feAmar
    a,soonwe’
    l
    lbeshar
    ingabedandt
    hisv
    erybedr
    oom.
    I
    ’m al
    lowedtobeher
    e.”
    Heambl
    est
    omeandf
    ort
    hel
    i
    feofme,
    Iwantt
    oscr
    eam.

    Hesitsontheedgeoft
    hebedandst
    art
    sst
    roki
    ngmybr
    aids,
    Iam di
    sgust
    edbyhi
    stouch,
    it’
    s
    nauseat
    ing.

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttouchme.
    ”

    Ishakemyhead.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Myt
    ouchwi
    l
    lbeal
    lyou’
    reget
    ti
    ngaf
    tert
    heweddi
    ng.So,
    whynotst
    artnow?
    ”

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    Idon’
    twantt
    his.Idon’
    twantt
    obeher
    e.”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Iknowbut
    ,thi
    spl
    acewi
    l
    lgr
    owony
    ou.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”

    Ifeel
    mytear
    sbuil
    dup,Iwil
    lnotcr
    yinf
    rontofhi
    m.Ichast
    isemy
    sel
    f,i
    fIwantt
    omakei
    toutof
    here,
    Ihav
    etoremainst
    rong.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Youruncl
    eowesme,
    hecoul
    dn’
    tpaymeandy
    ouwer
    etheonl
    ypr
    icel
    esst
    hinghehad.
    ”

    Me:
    “Sot
    hest
    oryaboutknowi
    ngmyf
    atherwasal
    i
    e.”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mkhize:
    “Ah,
    Zulu.Thatmanwasweakandhet
    rust
    edpeopl
    etoomuch,Iknewitwasgoi
    ngto
    behisdownfal
    l
    .Iknewhim pr
    ett
    ywel
    l,
    wewerebestoff
    ri
    endsandst
    artedataxi
    busi
    ness
    toget
    her.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youhadhi
    m ki
    l
    led?I
    twasy
    ouwhoki
    l
    ledmypar
    ent
    s?”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Oh,
    Amar
    a.Idi
    dn’
    tsayt
    hat
    ,it
    ’swr
    ongt
    ogoar
    oundassumi
    ngt
    hings.
    ”

    Heget
    sup,
    leav
    ingmeconf
    used.

    RANDALL*

    Ravenjoinsmeont hebalcony,Ihavebeensitt
    ingheresi
    nceIwokeup.Thesuni
    soutinallof
    i
    tsglor
    y .Ihar
    dlysl
    eptlastni
    ghtthinki
    ngaboutAmar a,t
    hisr
    oom r
    emindsmeofher.Herscent
    st
    il
    lhover sar
    ound,andIfeelsuff
    ocatedthatsheisn’
    twithme.

    Me:
    “Br
    o.”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Rav
    els:
    “Itf
    eel
    sgoodt
    oheary
    oucal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    If
    orgothowmushyhei
    s.
    Ir
    epl
    ywi
    thadi
    stantsmi
    l
    e.

    Rav
    en:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?Somet
    hingi
    sbot
    her
    ingy
    ou?
    ”

    Heasksasheseest
    hroughme.

    Me:
    “Someonewast
    akenf
    rom me.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Andt
    hatsomeonehol
    dsy
    ourhear
    t?”

    Iscowl
    athi
    squest
    ion.

    Me:“Al
    lIknowi
    s,i
    tfeel
    sli
    kesomethingheav
    yissi
    tti
    ngonmychest
    .Iwasspoi
    l
    ed,
    Igotso
    usedtobei
    ngar
    oundher.Now,shefeel
    sli
    keadist
    antmemor
    y.”

    Rav
    en:
    “Shef
    ell
    foranot
    herman?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’ssomuchIneedt
    ofi
    l
    lyouon.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “I’
    m al
    lear
    s.”

    Ineedt ospeaktoStyl
    esfirstbef
    oreair
    ingoutevery
    thingtoRaven,Ihaven’
    tseenhiminy ears.
    Hepr obablyvent
    severyt
    hingt ot
    hatoldman,myf atheri
    sagodasf arasRavenisconcerned.I
    will
    nott r
    ustbli
    ndl
    y,he’
    smybr ot
    herbut,t
    hatal
    someansnot hing.Bloodisnotal
    waysthicker
    thanwat er
    .

    Me:
    “Wher
    eist
    hatman?
    ”

    Hesneer
    s.

    Rav
    en:
    “Thatmani
    syourf
    ather
    .”

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    you’
    remaki
    ngmeuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Rav
    en:
    “Youcan’
    trunawayf
    rom hi
    m Uze.
    ”

    He’
    samusedbyhi
    msel
    f.

    Me:
    “Fuckof
    fUzoma.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Shi
    t,Ihat
    ethatname.
    ”

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.
    ”

    Rav
    en:“
    Youneedtospeaktohi
    m,youknowhewillnev
    erl
    etanyonet
    akeov
    ert
    het
    hrone.You
    wer
    echosenhei
    rappar
    ent,
    youcan’
    tescapef
    rom y
    ourbir
    thr
    ight.
    ”

    Hedi
    vesi
    ntoaconv
    ersat
    ionIdespi
    se.

    Me:
    “Ify
    ou’
    reonhi
    ssi
    desomuch,
    whydon’
    tyout
    akeov
    erf
    rom hi
    m?”

    Rav
    en:
    “Youknowt
    hat
    ’snothowi
    twor
    ks.
    ”
    Me:“Maybey
    oushoul
    djoi
    nyourf
    atherwher
    everhei
    sbecausey
    ou’
    rest
    art
    ingt
    ogetonmy
    ner
    ves.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    es,
    Idon’
    tseewhat
    ’sf
    unnyaboutwhatIsai
    d.

    Rav
    en:
    “You’
    rest
    il
    lar
    rogantIseeandt
    heangeri
    nyourhear
    tref
    usest
    odepar
    tfr
    om y
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Rav
    ,notnowbr
    o.”

    Raven:“ThenwhenRandy?Fat
    heri
    snotwi
    l
    li
    ngt
    ost
    ayi
    nthecount
    ryf
    orl
    ong,
    hehas
    responsi
    bil
    it
    iesbackhome.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thenheshoul
    dgohome.What
    ’sst
    oppi
    nghi
    m?Ihav
    emyownshi
    ttodeal
    wit
    h.”

    Isnapathi
    m.

    “
    Papa.
    ”

    Li
    yana’
    ssweetvoi
    cedragsusawayf
    rom t
    hisgnawi
    ngsubj
    ect
    ,Ravengr
    absherandput
    sheron
    hi
    slap,
    asshejumpstothrowher
    sel
    finmyarms.Shef
    rownsathi
    m.

    Rav
    en:
    “Hi
    ,pr
    incess.
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tlookhappy
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Dammi
    tRandy
    ,she’
    sthespl
    i
    tti
    ngi
    mageofy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Shoul
    dIbewor
    ri
    ed?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Rav
    en:
    “Wel
    l
    ,shemi
    ghtl
    ookl
    i
    key
    oubut
    ,shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”

    Het
    aunt
    sme,
    Liy
    anashuf
    fl
    esasshet
    ri
    est
    ogetof
    f.

    Rav
    en:
    “Yourf
    atheri
    sst
    il
    li
    npai
    npr
    incessso,
    becar
    eful
    wit
    hthathug.
    ”

    Shest
    il
    lthr
    owsher
    sel
    fatme.

    Me:
    “Howar
    eyoumybaby
    ?”

    Li
    yana:
    “Fi
    ne.
    ”

    Sher
    espondspl
    ayi
    ngwi
    tht
    heshoul
    dersl
    i
    ng,
    suppor
    ti
    ngmyar
    m.

    Li
    yana:
    “Isi
    tpai
    nful
    .”

    Me:
    “Al
    i
    ttl
    e.”

    Li
    yana:
    “Whathappenedpapa?
    ”

    Me:
    “If
    ell
    .”

    Il
    i
    e.

    Li
    yana:
    “Ist
    hatwhyy
    ouwer
    esl
    eepi
    ng?It
    houghty
    ouhaddi
    edandwentt
    oheav
    en.
    ”
    Il
    ookatRav
    en,
    apuckerhasgr
    ownbet
    weenhi
    sey
    ebr
    owsshowcasi
    ngconcer
    n.

    Me:“
    RememberwhatIsai
    dpr
    incess,
    Iwi
    l
    lal
    way
    scomebackf
    ory
    ouandpapaal
    way
    skeepshi
    s
    pr
    omises.
    ”

    Shenodsandr
    est
    sherheadonmychest
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “I’
    m st
    il
    lwai
    ti
    ngf
    ormyi
    ntr
    oduct
    ion.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youst
    il
    ll
    ovebei
    ngt
    hecent
    reofat
    tent
    ion?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Iam myf
    ather
    ’sson.
    ”

    HelaughsandIrecal
    lmygr
    andf
    ather
    ’swor
    ds.Rav
    enwor
    shi
    psmyf
    ather
    ,itwi
    l
    lbr
    eakhi
    mift
    he
    t
    rut
    hwer etocomeout .

    Me:
    “Funnyhowwel
    ookmor
    eli
    kemot
    hert
    hanwedohi
    m.”

    It
    hrowaj
    okei
    n,t
    obr
    ushof
    fthi
    sawkwar
    dmoment
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Il
    ookmor
    eli
    kemot
    herwhi
    l
    eyouar
    ethatol
    dman’
    stwi
    n.”

    Me:
    “Ir
    efuse.
    ”

    Looki
    ngatRavennow,Iseet
    hathedoesn’
    thaveasingl
    eti
    ntofmyfather
    'sfeat
    ures.I
    t’
    sagood
    thi
    nghim andIl
    ookal
    i
    keorelsehewould’
    venoti
    cedhowheisdif
    fer
    entfrom al
    ltheOkoli
    e
    chi
    ldr
    en.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    51*

    STYLES*

    Ihavenev
    erbeensocl
    osetodeat
    hbeforeandwhatIwentthr
    oughhasmademeseelif
    eina
    dif
    fer
    entl
    ight
    .Nkomoprov
    edhimsel
    floy
    al,Icanonl
    yhopeRandal
    lwil
    lseet
    hataswel
    l
    .

    Sethuwalksinasthedooropens,
    herey
    eswi
    denwhent
    heyf
    all
    onme.I
    ’
    m guessi
    ng,
    she
    thoughtIwouldn’
    tbeawakesosoon.

    Set
    hu:
    “Goodmor
    ningsi
    r.
    ”

    Shedr
    opshergaze,
    losi
    ngt
    othest
    ari
    ngcont
    est
    .

    Me:
    “Hi
    .”

    Set
    hu:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nky
    ouwoul
    dcomebackt
    oussosoon.
    ”

    Sheexpr
    essesasshet
    oddl
    est
    owar
    dst
    hebedandst
    art
    sfi
    xi
    ngt
    hesheet
    s.

    Me:
    “Iwasn’
    tfi
    ght
    ingal
    oneso,
    Icoul
    dn’
    tdi
    sappoi
    ntt
    hosewhower
    ecount
    ingonme.
    ”

    Shest
    opsandgl
    ancesatme,
    Ican’
    treal
    l
    ymakeoutt
    hel
    ooki
    nherey
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Youar
    eluckyt
    ohav
    epeopl
    ebyy
    oursi
    de,
    thatt
    hingi
    srar
    e.”

    Me:
    “Youhel
    pedmeal
    ott
    ooandIdon’
    tknowhowt
    othanky
    ou.
    ”

    Herey
    esmustl
    ovewhat
    everi
    sont
    hef
    loor
    .

    Me:
    “Set
    hu.
    ”

    Sher
    aisest
    hem.

    Me:
    “Youar
    ear
    arebr
    eedy
    ouknowt
    hat
    ?Iwoul
    dn’
    tbeal
    i
    vei
    fitwer
    en’
    tfory
    ou.
    ”

    Ther
    etheygotothefl
    ooragai
    nandasl
    ightsmil
    eflashesonherf
    ace,
    herhandf
    li
    est
    oher
    mouthandinagi
    tat
    ionst
    artsbi
    ti
    ngt
    henailonherpinkyf
    inger
    .

    I
    ’
    m pr
    obabl
    ymaki
    ngherj
    umpy
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “It
    ’snot
    hingsi
    r,Iwasdoi
    ngmyj
    ob.
    ”

    Sheexpr
    esseswhi
    l
    eindul
    gingonhernai
    l
    ,it
    ’ski
    ndofawei
    rdt
    hingt
    oobser
    ve.

    Me:“Trust
    ingamanwi thaguninhi
    shandandabul
    lethol
    eonhisst
    omachwhi l
    ethere’
    sa
    shoot
    ingthat,
    clear
    lyi
    sbraver
    y.I
    fyourj
    obt
    it
    ler
    equi
    resthatt
    hen,
    damnIrespectnurses.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esandcont
    inuesonhernai
    lbi
    ti
    ngv
    oyage.

    Me:
    “DoImakey
    ouner
    vousSet
    hu?
    ”
    Shegl
    ancesatmeandshakesherheadner
    vousl
    y.

    Me:
    “Youseem t
    oenj
    oybi
    ti
    ngont
    hatnai
    l
    ,car
    eful
    ,youmi
    ghteaty
    ourwhol
    efi
    nger
    .”

    Sher
    api
    dlyr
    emov
    esi
    tandhi
    desherhandi
    nthepocket
    sofherscr
    ubs.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    I’
    mjust
    …”

    Me:
    “Ner
    vous?
    ”

    Shet
    urnsandchecksont
    hedr
    ip,
    myassumpt
    ionsar
    econf
    ir
    med.

    Me:
    “Hasany
    onecomet
    oseeme?
    ”

    Ishoul
    ddi
    ver
    ttheconv
    ersat
    ion,
    thepoorgi
    rli
    suncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “Nosi
    r.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ineedt
    ogohome.
    ”

    Shet
    urnsback,
    herey
    esar
    eonmebut
    ,theyal
    sokeepr
    unni
    ngev
    ery
    wher
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “Youcan’
    t,
    youj
    usthadsur
    ger
    y.”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lheal
    athome,
    mybr
    otherneedsme.
    ”

    Shegr
    absmyhandasIt
    ryt
    opul
    loutt
    heneedl
    est
    ucki
    nmyv
    eins,
    Ifr
    ownather
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Ifany
    thi
    nghappenst
    oyou,Iwi
    llbeblamedsi
    r.Mr.Mkhizesai
    dt olookaf
    tery
    ou.Your
    l
    if
    eisi
    nmyhandsrightnowandIcan’
    tlety
    ouleavet
    hishospi
    tal.Pl
    ease,don’
    t.
    ”

    Shepl
    eads,
    asasmallcreasefor
    msbetweenhereyebrows,hert
    ir
    edey
    esstandi
    ngi
    n
    agr
    eementwit
    hherwords.Igl
    anceatherhandonmine,wi
    ththesamefr
    ownonmyfaceand
    shel
    etsgo.

    Me:
    “Wer
    eyouwor
    kingt
    hegr
    aveshi
    ft
    ?”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “Shoul
    dn’
    tyoubeathomesl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Iwi
    l
    lgoaf
    terMr
    .Mkhi
    zehascomesi
    r.
    ”

    Me:
    “Cal
    lmeSt
    yles,
    youmakemef
    eel
    oldwheny
    oucal
    lmesi
    r.Sur
    ely
    ,Idon’
    tlookt
    hatol
    d.”

    Shef
    ight
    sasmi
    l
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “Mr
    .St
    yles,
    Iwi
    l
    lgoandcal
    lthedoct
    or.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Mi
    ssSet
    hu.
    ”

    Herey
    eswi
    denatmyr
    esponse.

    Me:
    “Youar
    ebei
    ngf
    ormal
    so,
    it’
    sfai
    rthatIr
    etur
    nthecour
    tesy
    .”

    Shet
    ri
    est
    ofi
    ghtanot
    hersmi
    l
    ebut
    ,fai
    l
    sdi
    smal
    l
    y.
    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    rysi
    r…ImeanSt
    yles.
    ”

    Sheshi
    esawayasmynamel
    eav
    eshermout
    handhur
    ri
    esoutt
    hedoor
    .

    RANDALL*

    Ihavebeentr
    yingtocallSt
    ylesbut
    ,hi
    snumberringsunanswered.Ravenandmyf at
    herwent
    backtothehotelt
    ofreshenupbecauset
    heydidn’tbri
    ngthei
    rluggage,ev
    enift
    heydid,I
    wouldn’
    tal
    lowhimt ostayi
    nmyhouse.Neosaunt ersint
    omyr oom, hi
    shabi
    tofnotknocki
    ng
    wil
    lpissmeoffoneday .

    Neo:
    “Bozza,
    ugr
    andmar
    a?”(
    Arey
    ouokay
    ?)

    Heset
    tl
    esonachai
    rbesi
    deme.

    Me:
    “DoIl
    ookokayNeo?
    ”

    Neo:“Iknowhoreleoatl
    aleol
    elebelenki
    lemot
    hooahau,
    butwewi
    l
    lgetherback.Don’
    twor
    ry
    bozza.”(
    Thatugl
    yf ool
    tookyourper
    son.)

    HowcanInotwor
    rywhenAmar
    aisal
    onewi
    tht
    hatpi
    g?

    Me:
    “You’
    redamnr
    ightIwi
    l
    lgetherback,
    Mkhi
    zewi
    l
    lpayf
    orwhathedi
    d.”

    Neo:“
    Keautl
    oabozza.Entl
    ektel
    lmeaboutt
    herai
    n.Thatt
    hingonl
    yhappensonTV,
    ziy
    awae
    Ghananeh.
    ”(Iheary
    ou,boss.
    )(I
    t’
    sfal
    l
    ingi
    nGhana.
    )

    I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    oent
    ert
    ainhi
    scr
    azi
    ness.

    Me:
    “Hav
    eyouspokent
    oSt
    yles?Di
    dhesaywhatt
    imehe’
    l
    lbeher
    e?”

    Neo:
    “Bozza,
    Sty
    losey
    y…”(
    Boss,
    Sty
    leshey
    .)

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Thel
    ookonhi
    sfacesay
    sit
    ’sbad.

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh,
    Styl
    osoneanahanahor
    ekeRabobi
    but
    ,theyshowedhi
    mfl
    ames.
    ”(St
    ylest
    hought
    hewasSpi
    der
    manbut,
    theydeal
    twi
    thhi
    m.)

    Hepr
    att
    lesonandIf
    ail
    topi
    ecehi
    swor
    dst
    oget
    her
    .

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lsomeonet
    ell
    mewher
    ethef
    ucki
    sSt
    ylesandwhydoesmyhouser
    eekofaMkhi
    ze?
    ”

    Iask,
    uponseei
    ngNkomowal
    kin,
    thener
    vehehast
    obeundert
    hesamer
    oofasme.

    Nkomo:
    “That
    ’sf
    airandIdeser
    vei
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yougotgut
    sMkhi
    ze.
    ”
    Hescowl
    satme.

    Nkomo:
    “Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “Youcannotdenywhaty
    ouar
    e.”

    Igr
    abmycr
    utchandusei
    ttost
    andup,
    Neogr
    absmyhandsot
    ohel
    p.

    Me:
    “Don’
    t.
    ”

    Ist
    ophi
    m andhepul
    l
    saway
    .

    Neo:
    “Uze,
    what
    ’swr
    ong?Whysomuchangerbozza?
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Me:
    “Fuckof
    fNeo,
    gett
    hef
    uckoutofmyf
    ace.Doy
    ouknowwhatt
    hissonofabi
    tchdi
    d?”

    Ir
    umbl
    e,hest
    epsback.

    Nkomo:
    “St
    ylescal
    l
    edmeher
    e.”

    Ichor
    tl
    eatt
    hisdi
    scl
    osur
    e.

    Me:
    “Hewoul
    dn’
    tdot
    hat
    ,heknowshowmuchIdespi
    set
    hegr
    oundy
    ouwal
    kon.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Randal
    l
    …”

    Me:
    “Sur
    elyNkomo,
    youdonott
    hinkIhav
    efor
    giv
    eny
    ourl
    i
    ttl
    est
    unt
    ?”

    Nkomo:
    “That
    ’si
    nthepastRandal
    l
    …”

    Me:“Thepast
    ?Youbet
    ray
    edmey
    oupi
    eceofshi
    t,Iwoul
    dn’
    tbesur
    pri
    sedi
    fyoubr
    oughtFr
    anco
    her
    etotakeAmara.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Bozza…”

    Me:
    “St
    ayoutoft
    hisNeo,
    ithasnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Itwasami
    stakeRandal
    l
    ,It
    oldy
    ou.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    svoi
    ce,
    he’
    sluckyI
    ’
    minj
    ured.

    Me:“
    Itwasn’tamistake,
    it’
    sclear
    lywhoyouar
    e.I
    t’
    sinyourblood.Okay
    ,let
    ’ssaySty
    lesdi
    dask
    youf
    orhelp.Whatistosay,youwill
    nott
    urnonhi
    m wheny ou’
    reputonthespot?”

    Nkomo:
    “Iwoul
    dnev
    erdot
    hat
    ,Idespi
    seMkhi
    zej
    ustasmuchasy
    oudo,
    ifnotmor
    e.”

    Ihuf
    f.

    Me: “Letmer emindyouNkomo,Sty l


    escanbeapsychowhenpr
    ovokedandMkhizehasa
    tendencyofrubbinghim of
    fthewrongway .Hecan’
    tst
    op,i
    t’
    sal
    mostli
    kehe’
    sobsessedand
    knowi ngStyl
    es,hewill
    punishMkhize’
    skin,j
    ustt
    oseetheol
    dmansuffer
    .Ar
    eyouwi l
    l
    ingt
    o
    sti
    ckar oundforthat
    ?”

    Hegul
    ps,
    thi
    sst
    atementi
    smaki
    nghi
    m uncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.
    Me:“That
    ’sr
    ight,
    t hi
    nkabouti
    t.Will
    youstandbackwhileStyl
    estortur
    esy oursibl
    i
    ngs?Thatol
    d
    manisagoodf ather,Ihav
    etogivehimthat
    .Hemi ghthaveki
    ll
    edy ourmot herbut,damnhe
    l
    ovesyouandwoul dt
    akeabulletf
    oryou.So,whoknows?Wemi ghtjustusey ouasbait
    .”

    Neo:“Shi
    t,ogay
    ou’
    rescaringmenow.Har
    eji
    kel
    ani
    bozza,
    senasewr
    ong.
    ”(Bosswedon’
    ttur
    n
    ourbacksoneachother
    ,thisi
    swrong.
    )

    Me:
    "Tel
    lthatt
    othi
    sbast
    ard,
    hedoesn'
    tknowwhatl
    oyal
    tyi
    s."

    Neo:
    "For
    giv
    eandf
    orgetbozza.
    "(Boss.
    )

    Ishoothi
    m acol
    dst
    are.

    Hemov
    esback,
    hishandsr
    aised,
    apol
    oget
    ical
    l
    y.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Wear ehav
    inglat
    ebreakf
    asti
    nfr
    ontoftheTV,t
    here’
    saknockatthedoor.Pet
    uniagetsupto
    open.Atal
    lful
    lfi
    gur
    edwomanwal ksi
    n,shel
    it
    eral
    l
    ypushesPetuni
    aaside,asshelet
    shersel
    f
    i
    ntomyhouse.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hai
    bosi
    si?Kwenzakal
    ani
    egol
    i
    ?”(
    What
    ’shappeni
    ngi
    nJohannesbur
    g?)

    Me:
    “Andt
    hen,
    ungubani
    wena?
    ”(Whoar
    eyou?
    )

    Shef
    rownsatmeandIcoul
    dswear
    ,Isawherr
    oll
    herey
    es.

    Her
    :“Sani
    bonani
    .”(
    Greet
    ings.
    )

    Shegr
    eet
    sMhambi
    andJonaswi
    thr
    espect
    .

    Jonas:
    “Whoar
    eyou?
    ”

    Jonasdoesnotl
    ookhappy
    .

    Mashot
    o:“
    Mynamei
    sMashot
    o.

    Jonas:
    “Okayt
    hatdoesn’
    texpl
    ainwhyy
    ouj
    ustt
    hrewy
    our
    sel
    finher
    e.”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Fut
    hisi
    yadl
    a,uy
    adel
    elawenangane.
    ”(Wear
    eeat
    ing,
    youhav
    enor
    espectchi
    l
    d.)

    Me:
    “Ngi
    cel
    aungi
    phumel
    ekwami
    wesi
    si.
    ”(Pl
    easegetoutofmyhouse.
    )

    IshoutasIgetuponmyf
    eet
    ,shegi
    vesmet
    hedi
    rt
    ylookagai
    n.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hai
    bo!Phumant
    ombazane.
    ”(Getoutgi
    rl
    .)

    Mhambi
    :“Pet
    uni
    awai
    t,t
    her
    e’sar
    easonwhyshei
    sher
    e.”

    Jonas:“Kumel
    eashokeisi
    zat
    hosakhe.Wi
    l
    lyoust
    andt
    her
    ethewhol
    edayandnotsay
    anyt
    hing.”(
    Shemustst
    ateherreason.
    )
    Her
    aiseshi
    svoi
    ce.

    Mhambi
    :“Khul
    umant
    ombazane,
    ufunani
    ?”(
    Speakgi
    rl
    .Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    Mashot
    o:“
    Iam Moses’
    wif
    eandI
    ’
    m pr
    egnantwi
    thhi
    sbaby
    .”

    Shedr
    opsabombt
    hatspi
    nsmywor
    ldandt
    hrowsmeont
    hef
    loorasIf
    aint
    .

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbusodroppedmeatthehospit
    al,
    hesai
    dhe’
    l
    lfet
    chmewhenIam done.Ihadt
    odecl
    i
    ne,I
    ’m
    usedt
    otakingtaxi
    sandIdon’
    twanttobet
    obespoil
    ed.Hepr
    obabl
    yhasthi
    ngst
    odoanyway.

    It
    readt
    otheof
    fi
    cewher
    ehesai
    dI’
    dfi
    ndt
    hedoct
    or.

    “
    Comei
    n.”

    Afemininevoi
    ceyell
    sfrom theot
    hersideofthedoor
    ,Iopeni
    tandwalkint
    ofi
    ndanel egant
    youngblackwoman,dressedinawhitedoctor’
    scoat
    .Sherai
    sesherey
    ebrows,Idon’
    tseea
    smilecomingoutofthathaught
    yface.

    Me:
    “Goodday
    .”

    Her
    :“Yes.
    ”

    Shesay
    slooki
    ngatmel
    i
    keIbat
    hedi
    nmud,
    bef
    orecomi
    ngher
    e.

    Me:
    “MbusoXabasentmeher
    e.”

    If
    eel
    awkwar
    dst
    andi
    ngbyt
    hedoor
    .Wi
    l
    lsheev
    erof
    fermeaseat
    ?

    Her
    :“Doct
    orXaba?
    ”

    Inod.

    Her
    :“Mmmmhhh,
    so,
    you’
    ret
    hei
    nter
    n?”

    Idon’
    tknowi
    fshe’
    saski
    ngort
    ell
    i
    ngme.

    Idon’
    trespond.

    Her
    :“Ar
    eyouj
    ustgoi
    ngt
    ost
    andt
    her
    eorsi
    t?Yourcont
    racti
    sready
    ,youj
    ustneedt
    osi
    gni
    t.
    ”

    Ial
    readyfeel
    int
    imi
    datedbyher,
    thel
    ookshe’
    sgivi
    ngmei sn’
    thel
    pingatal
    l
    .It
    oddl
    etot
    hechai
    r
    andsett
    ledown.She’
    sglar
    ingatmeandit
    ’saheavygl
    are.

    Me:
    “Yourname?
    ”

    Shei
    nqui
    reswi
    thanat
    ti
    tude,
    asshehandsmet
    hecont
    ract
    ,ithasf
    ourpagessoIdon’
    treadi
    t.

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyounoti
    nter
    viewmef
    ir
    st?
    ”
    Her
    :“Thecont
    racti
    sinf
    rontofy
    out
    hat
    ,cl
    ear
    lyst
    atesy
    ouwon’
    tbei
    nter
    viewed.
    ”

    Someonewokeupont
    hewr
    ongsi
    deoft
    hebedt
    oday
    .

    Her
    :“Si
    gnont
    hef
    ir
    stpageandi
    nit
    ial
    ther
    est
    .”

    Idoasshesay
    s.

    Her
    :“Ist
    il
    ldon’
    thav
    eyourname.
    ”

    Thatt
    imeIseei
    twr
    it
    tenont
    hecont
    ract
    .

    Me:
    “Nombul
    elo.
    ”

    It
    ell
    herany
    way
    .

    Her
    :“Iseeso,
    whatdi
    dyoudof
    orMbusot
    ogety
    out
    hisj
    ob?
    ”

    Me:
    “Excuseme?
    ”

    Her:“Hedidn’
    ttel
    lyou?You’r
    enotaninter
    nsisi
    ,youst
    artworktomorrowasanurse.Hespoke
    t
    ot hehigherpowers,sur
    elyyoumusthavedonesomething.Youscr
    atchmyback,Iscr
    atch
    yoursty
    peoft hi
    ng?”

    Iam shockedbyherassumpt
    ions.

    Me:
    “Iam nott
    hatt
    ypeofaper
    sondoct
    or,
    Mbusoi
    smyf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Now,
    Icansayi
    twi
    thconf
    idence.

    Shecackl
    es.

    Her:“Yeah,
    sureheis.Idoubtitt
    hough,you’
    renotthety
    peofpersonhehangsar
    oundwith.
    Beli
    eveme, Ihavemethisfri
    ends.You’
    remor eofakasity
    peofgir
    lwhi
    leMbusois.
    ..wel
    l
    ,you’
    ve
    seenhimr i
    ght.
    ”

    Shespewst
    hewor
    dsoutwi
    thsomuchat
    ti
    tudeandagr
    incl
    i
    cksonhermout
    h.

    Me:
    “Mbusot
    oldmet
    haty
    ou’
    readoct
    or,
    Idi
    dn’
    tknowy
    ourj
    obent
    ail
    sjudgi
    ngpeopl
    easwel
    l
    .”

    Shef
    rownsatmyr
    etor
    t,Isl
    i
    det
    hepaper
    stoher
    .

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    ory
    ourt
    imedoct
    or,
    Iwi
    l
    lrepor
    tforwor
    ktomor
    rowmor
    ning.
    ”

    Ir
    ejoi
    nderandl
    eav
    e.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    52*

    RANDALL*

    Thefactt
    hatNkomoi
    sthi
    nki
    ngaboutthi
    sanddoesn’
    thav
    eananswerf
    orme,
    showst
    hat
    ,
    whenpushcomestoshov
    e,hewi
    llbet
    rayus.

    Me:
    “Gett
    hef
    uckoutofmyhousenow.
    ”

    Icommand.

    Nkomo:“
    Idon’
    twantt
    obeher
    eei
    ther
    ,St
    yleswant
    edhel
    pwheny
    ouwer
    eshotandAmar
    awas
    t
    aken.
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tfucki
    ngsayhernamey
    oupi
    eceofshi
    t.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ogapl
    easenow,
    biko.Let
    ’scal
    m down.
    ”(Pl
    ease.
    )

    Me:
    “Neo,
    youdon’
    twantt
    opi
    ssmeof
    f,bel
    i
    eveme.
    ”

    Neo:“Iknowyou’
    reangrybut
    ,thi
    swillnotsolveanyt
    hinganditcert
    ainl
    ywil
    lnotbr
    ingAmara
    back.Youtwohavetoputasi
    dey ourdif
    ferencesandworktogether
    .Styl
    osisoutofthegame
    andwecan’tfaceMkhizel
    impingli
    kethis,
    hewi l
    l…”

    Me:
    “Wai
    t.Whatdoy
    oumeanSt
    ylesi
    soutoft
    hegame?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Hewasshotwhenhewentt
    orescueAmar
    aatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”

    Whatam Ihear
    ing?

    Me:
    “Amar
    aisi
    nthehospi
    tal
    ?Whyi
    sshei
    nthehospi
    tal
    ?”

    Theygoqui
    etonmeandIam l
    osi
    ngi
    t.

    Me:
    “Iaskedy
    ouaquest
    ion?Whyt
    hef
    ucki
    sAmar
    aint
    hehospi
    tal
    ?”

    Nkomo:“
    Theyhadanacci
    dentt
    hatsameni
    ght
    ,Musadi
    dn’
    tmakei
    tandFr
    ancoescapedwi
    tha
    f
    ewscrat
    ches.
    ”

    Me:“Idon’
    tcar
    eaboutt
    hoset
    wof
    ucker
    s,Iwantt
    oknowi
    fAmar
    aisokayandwher
    eismy
    br
    other?”

    Neo:“
    Mkhi zet
    ookherUze,St
    ylost
    ri
    edhisbest.It
    oldhi
    m nott
    ogoal one,
    vel
    e,whogoestowar
    al
    one?Nahanabozza,Sty
    loseneenaleli
    noha.Bomablackmamba,anacondadaar.That
    ,shi
    t
    headFrancoshothi
    m andMkhizewalkedawaywithAmara?”(
    Heunleashedadenofsnakes.
    )

    Myheadspi
    nsasIf
    ail
    toappr
    ehendwhatNeoi
    stel
    l
    ingme,
    Isi
    tbackont
    hechai
    r.

    Nkomo:
    “Youwer
    enott
    her
    eNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Keat
    seba,
    Ist
    il
    ltel
    li
    tbet
    tert
    hany
    ou.
    ”(Iknow.
    )
    Me:
    “Pl
    easet
    ell
    mehe’
    sal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Myhear
    tdr
    opsatt
    het
    houghtofhi
    mly
    ingdeadi
    nacof
    fi
    n.

    Nkomo:
    “Hei
    s,he’
    satBar
    a.”

    Me:
    “Neo,
    takemet
    ohi
    m.”

    Neo:
    “ShoshoUze.
    ”(OkayUze.
    )

    Me:
    “Cal
    lmeUzeagai
    n.”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Me:
    “No,
    cal
    lmeUzeagai
    n.”

    Hel
    aughsashescr
    atcheshi
    shead.

    Neo:
    “Sor
    rybozza.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Mbusowal
    ksi
    n,Iguessmyr
    oom bel
    ongst
    othepubl
    i
    cnow.

    Neo:
    “Wedon’
    tneedy
    ounowdokot
    ela,
    ungaphi
    ndel
    aemuv
    a.”(
    Youcangobacknowdoct
    or.
    )

    Mbuso:
    "I’
    m nother
    efory
    ou.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Whi
    l
    eyou’
    reher
    e,may
    bey
    oushoul
    dcheckonNeo’
    sbr
    ain.Heneedst
    reat
    ment
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    sonei
    sbey
    ondhel
    p.”

    Neo:
    “It
    ’sokay
    ,I’
    m usedt
    ohav
    inghat
    ers.Uze,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “I’
    m comi
    ngwi
    th.
    ”

    Whyam It
    oler
    ati
    nghi
    m?

    Mbuso:
    “Wher
    eisev
    ery
    onegoi
    ng?
    ”

    Neo:
    “ToseeSt
    ylosatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Randal
    lcan’
    tgoany
    wher
    e,y
    ouj
    ustwokeup.Youneedt
    otakei
    teasy
    .”

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouknowIwi
    l
    lnotl
    i
    stent
    oyou.Whydoy
    oubot
    her
    ?”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “Yep,
    thi
    sist
    heRandal
    lIknow,
    rudeasf
    uck.
    ”

    Neo:
    “It
    hinkIhav
    ehear
    denoughswear
    ingt
    oday
    ,youguy
    sar
    etoxi
    c.”

    Me:
    “Canwegopl
    ease.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m comi
    ngt
    oo.
    ”

    Wi
    thgreatdi
    ff
    icul
    tyImanaget
    omakei
    tdownt
    hest
    air
    s,Chi
    omaseesmef
    rom t
    heki
    tchenand
    mar
    chestome.
    Me:“Iam goi
    ngout,i
    fmyfat
    hercomesaroundmakesur
    ehedoesn’
    tmeetLi
    yana.Rav
    eni
    s
    i
    nfor
    med, Idon’
    twanthi
    mtoseeheryet
    .”

    Chi
    oma:
    “WhyUze?
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sf
    ami
    l
    ymat
    ter
    sChi
    oma,
    justkeepmydaught
    erawayf
    rom t
    hatman.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Isheadangert
    oher
    .”

    Me:“What
    ’swi
    tht
    hecuri
    osi
    ty?Can’
    tyoudoasIsay
    ?Ihav
    esomucht
    odeal
    wit
    hri
    ghtnow,
    wil
    l
    youhel
    pmewitht
    hisatl
    east
    .”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Sor
    ry,
    I’
    ll
    dot
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou,
    thatwasn’
    thar
    dnowwasi
    t?”

    NTOMBI
    *

    Thi
    shomewreckerwasmadetosi
    t,Idon’
    tknowwhyJonashasn’
    tthr
    ownheroutofthehouse.
    Pet
    uni
    apour
    edcoldwateronmyface,t
    hisi
    showIwaswokenupandIhavebeencr y
    ingsince.

    Jonas:
    “Whatdi
    dyousayy
    ournamewasagai
    n?”

    Mashot
    o:“
    Mashot
    oMugwena.

    Mhambi:
    “Didn’
    tyourpar
    ent
    steachyouanyrespectMashoto?Isthi
    swhati
    sdonei
    nthe
    Mugwenafamil
    y,youwalki
    npeople’
    shouseswithoutbei
    nginv
    itedi
    n?”

    Mashot
    o:“
    Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sabababut
    ,thi
    sismyhouset
    oo.Mosesi
    smyhusband.
    ”

    Sher
    etor
    tsr
    udel
    y,wi
    thherheadbowedst
    il
    l.

    Me:
    “Uy
    ahl
    any
    a,Mosesi
    smar
    ri
    edt
    omeandonl
    ymesi
    si.
    ”(You’
    recr
    azy
    .)

    Iy
    ell
    atherwhi
    l
    etr
    yingt
    ofi
    ghtt
    heur
    get
    oat
    tackher
    .

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    awumet
    uu.
    ”(Nt
    ombi
    wai
    t.
    )

    Jonas:
    “Awushosi
    si,
    whatbr
    ingsy
    ouher
    ereal
    l
    y?”(
    Tel
    lus.
    )

    Mashoto:
    “Moseshasbeenpayinglobol
    aininst
    almentf
    orthepastsi
    xmont
    hs,
    yest
    erdaymy
    f
    athercal
    l
    edmeandt ol
    dmet hatithasbeenpaidinf
    ull
    .”

    Pet
    uni
    alaughsoutl
    oud.

    Petuni
    a:“
    Ayi
    kholento,
    ntombazane?You’
    resay
    ingy
    ourl
    obol
    awaspai
    dini
    nst
    alment
    s?Thi
    s
    hastobeajoke.
    ”(Therei
    snosucht hi
    ng.
    )

    Jonas:
    “Mosesi
    scapabl
    eofany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Mashot
    o:“
    Ihav
    eal
    ett
    erf
    rom myf
    atherexpl
    aini
    ngev
    ery
    thi
    ng,
    he’
    sinVendaandhecoul
    dn’
    t
    comet
    ojobur
    gduet
    omymot
    herbei
    ngsi
    ck.
    ”

    Shet
    akesoutawhi
    teenv
    elopf
    rom herbag.

    Jonas:
    “Suchdi
    srespectwesi
    si.Li
    stenher
    e,y
    ouhav
    eappr
    oachedt
    hewr
    ongpeopl
    e,wear
    ehi
    s
    i
    n-l
    aws.Youseethiswoman.”

    Hepoi
    ntsatme,
    sheknowsmeal
    ri
    ght
    .Thedi
    sgust
    edl
    ookonherf
    acesay
    sso.

    Jonas:“Thi
    sisMoses’wif
    e,t
    heyhavebeenmar ri
    edforfi
    ft
    eeny ear
    s.Youcomehereandcl
    aim
    thaty
    ouar emarr
    iedtoMosesandar ecarr
    yinghi
    schil
    dwithoutanyproofandt
    hismanyou
    seek,i
    snotheretoconfi
    rmyoural
    legati
    ons.”

    Mashot
    o:“
    Iheary
    oubababut
    …”

    Jonas:“Angiy
    enaubabawakho.Isuggesty
    oul
    eave,Iwil
    ltel
    lMosesyouwereherewhenhe
    getsbackfrom wher
    everhei
    s.Asfornow,wecannotentert
    ainy
    ou.
    ”(Iam noty
    ourfat
    her
    .)

    Mashot
    o:“
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e,t
    hisi
    smyhusband’
    shouse.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hai
    bont
    ombazane,
    hamba.
    ”(Leav
    egi
    rl
    .)

    I
    ’
    mtonguet
    ied.

    Mhambi:“
    Ntombazane,gohomebecausethi
    swill
    notendwell
    .Cal
    lyourf
    atherorwr
    it
    ehima
    l
    ett
    erorwhateveri
    tist
    hatyoupeopl
    edoandlethi
    m knowthatheneedst
    ospeaktothe
    Mngomafami l
    y.Wehavenothi
    ngtodowit
    hthat.
    ”(Gi
    rl
    .)

    Shefoldsherarmsacr
    ossherchestandsit
    sback,gest
    uringthatshe’
    snotmov i
    ng.Ifeel
    ever
    y
    i
    nchofmebur ni
    ngwit
    hrage,
    Igrababutterkni
    feonthetableandtargether
    .Shescreamsand
    runsoutthedoor.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lki
    l
    lyoui
    fyoucomebackher
    eagai
    n.”

    Ishoutwi
    thr
    age.

    Mashot
    o:“
    I’
    ll
    comeback,
    Mosesi
    smyhusbandwhet
    hery
    oul
    i
    kei
    tornotandIwi
    l
    lpr
    ovei
    t.
    ”

    Sheyell
    sbefor
    ewalki
    ngaway .IseeMart
    hapeeki
    ngthr
    ought
    hefence,
    sheseesmeandwav es
    withasmileonherf
    ace.Iknowshetakesjoyi
    nseei
    ngmehurt
    ,Irol
    lmyeyesatherandshut
    thedoor.

    JonasandMhambi
    aresti
    l
    lseat
    edasifnothi
    nghappened,
    Pet
    uni
    aisf
    ini
    shi
    ngupherf
    ood.They
    havenocar
    eint
    heworl
    daboutwhatwasjustrev
    eal
    ed.

    Me:“Iknowy ouguy
    shateMosesbut
    ,Iam y
    oursi
    sterandwej
    ustf
    oundoutt
    hatmyhusband
    gotanotherwomanpregnant
    .Whyar
    eyounotal
    armed?Youshoul
    dbegoi
    ngcrazy
    .”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Notonl
    ydi
    dhegetherpr
    egnantNt
    ombi
    ,hemar
    ri
    edheraswel
    l
    .”

    Shesay
    ssmi
    rki
    ng,
    asshegul
    psonagl
    assofj
    uice.

    Whyi
    sthi
    smaki
    ngherhappy
    ?
    Me:
    “Bhut
    i?”(
    Brot
    her
    .)

    Jonas:“
    Ihear
    dyouNtombi
    ,letuswaitf
    orMosestocomeback.Hi
    sfamil
    ywil
    lhav
    etobe
    i
    nformedaboutt
    hismat
    ter
    .It’
    shisj
    obtodothat
    ,Iwil
    lnoti
    nvol
    vemysel
    fint
    hei
    rmatt
    ers.
    ”

    Def
    eat
    edandhur
    t,It
    hrowmy
    sel
    font
    hecouch.

    Mhambi
    :“It
    hinki
    t’
    sti
    mewegett
    hepol
    i
    cei
    nvol
    vedi
    nthi
    s,Moseshasbeengonef
    ort
    ool
    ong.
    ”

    Jonas:“Doyouknowhowmanymi ssi
    ngper
    sons’
    fil
    esar
    estackedupatt
    hepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    on?I
    t
    wil
    ltakefor
    evert
    ofi
    ndhim.Iknowhowtobri
    ngMosesback.”

    Mhambi
    :“Whatdoy
    oumeanJonas?Whatdoy
    ouhav
    eupy
    oursl
    eev
    e?”

    Jonas:
    “Let
    ’sj
    ustsay
    ,ourdearl
    atebr
    otherwi
    l
    lbr
    ingMosesbackhome.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs,
    Iam scar
    edt
    oev
    enaskwhathemeansbyt
    hat
    .

    STYLES*

    Ihearv
    oicesout
    sidemydoor
    ,Neo’
    svoi
    cei
    sthel
    oudest
    .DoIev
    enhav
    ethest
    rengt
    hforhi
    m?

    Myjawli
    ter
    all
    ydr
    opswhenmyey
    esf
    all
    onRandal
    l
    .Neo,
    NkomoandMbusoar
    efol
    l
    owi
    ng
    behi
    ndhi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youst
    ubbor
    nbast
    ard,
    youescapedf
    rom t
    hecl
    utchesofdeat
    h.”

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    Ilaughathi
    scomment
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    ret
    hest
    ubbor
    none,
    deat
    hhady
    oubyt
    heneckbut
    ,lookaty
    oust
    andi
    ngher
    e.”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Neo:
    “Awww,
    Ijustl
    ovehappyr
    euni
    ons.Yout
    woar
    etoocut
    eman.
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lhav
    etoendur
    ehi
    sfool
    i
    shness,
    Iguess.

    Me:
    “YouscaredmeRandy
    ,It
    houghty
    ouwer
    edeadwhenIf
    oundy
    ou.Iswear
    ,Inev
    erwantt
    o
    f
    eell
    i
    kethatagai
    n."

    Randal
    lchor
    tl
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“It
    hinkt
    hatbul
    l
    etdi
    danumberony
    ou.Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyousay
    ingt
    ome?
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    sst
    upi
    dret
    ortandwi
    ncei
    npai
    n.

    Me:
    “I’
    mjusthappyt
    hatmybr
    otheri
    sal
    i
    veandwel
    l
    .”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    Randal
    l
    :“Met
    oo.
    ”
    Neo:
    “Okay
    ,reshebel
    l
    eday
    sofourl
    i
    vesnow.BoBr
    adyl
    eJohnBl
    ack,
    youcancuti
    toutnow.
    ”

    Mbusol
    aughswhi
    l
    eNkomoshakeshi
    shead.

    Me:
    “You’
    rest
    il
    lst
    upi
    d.”

    Nkomo:
    “St
    yles,
    youwer
    eoutf
    oraday
    ,somet
    hingswi
    l
    lnev
    erchange.
    ”

    Neogl
    aresathi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “Youl
    ookbet
    ter
    ,forsomeonewhoal
    mostdi
    ed.
    ”

    Me:
    “If
    eel
    bet
    ter
    .”

    Neo:“
    Whathappenedtothesnakes?Ent
    lekStyl
    os,
    whatwer eyouthi
    nki
    ngvel
    e?Iheardy
    ouhad
    peopl
    einwheel
    chair
    srunning.You’
    reamiracl
    eworker
    ,theyshoul
    dpayyoufort
    his.
    ”

    HowcanInotlaughatt
    his?IseeMbusostr
    uggl
    ingwit
    hhisl
    aughwhile,
    Nkomoi
    slaughi
    ng
    f
    reel
    y.Randal
    ll
    ooksdef
    eated,i
    tmustbethewholeAmarasi
    tuat
    ion.

    Nkomo:
    “Nt
    wana,
    whydoy
    oukeepchangi
    ngt
    hest
    ory
    ?You’
    l
    llendusi
    njai
    lwena.
    ”(Boy
    .)(
    You.
    )

    Neo:
    “That
    ’swhaty
    out
    oldmeNkomo,
    sekeoahana.
    ”(Don’
    tdenyi
    t.
    )

    Me:
    “Ineedal
    apt
    op,
    ther
    e’snot
    imet
    owast
    e.Mkhi
    zepl
    ansonmar
    ryi
    ngAmar
    aint
    hreeday
    s.”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduce,l
    eer
    ingatadist
    ressedRandal
    l.Hescowl
    s,hear
    ingmyannouncement
    .Hewi
    l
    lnev
    er
    beatpeaceunt
    ilhehasAmar abyhi
    sside.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thatsonofabi
    tch.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    sasheset
    tl
    esdownonachai
    r.

    Mbuso:
    “Iknowsomeonewhowor
    ksher
    e,Icanbor
    rowt
    hei
    rlapt
    op.
    ”

    Nkomo:“
    Theweddi
    nghasbeenpostponed,
    myuncl
    e’
    sfuner
    alwi
    l
    lbet
    hisweekend.So,
    the
    weddi
    ngissett
    obenextSat
    urday
    .”

    Nkomor
    eveal
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howdoy
    ouknowal
    loft
    his?
    ”

    Iseet
    hehat
    redhehasf
    orhi
    minhi
    sey
    es,
    Nkomowi
    l
    lnev
    ergai
    nRandal
    l
    ’st
    rust
    ,nomat
    terwhat
    hedoes.

    Nkomo:
    “Mybr
    other
    .”

    Randal
    lsni
    gger
    scol
    dly
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Ist
    il
    lsaywecan’
    ttr
    usthi
    m St
    yles,
    Idon’
    tknowhowy
    oubr
    oughthi
    mint
    omyhouse.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ist
    il
    lsayf
    orgi
    veandf
    orgetboz
    za.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Neoj
    umpsi
    n,Randal
    ldoesn’
    tpayheedt
    ohi
    sremar
    k.
    Me:“
    Ihadnoot
    herchoi
    ceRandy
    ,al
    othashappened.Ihadt
    othi
    nkf
    ast
    ,ifIwasn’
    tshot
    ,Amar
    a
    woul
    dbewit
    hyou.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Wehav
    etogetherSt
    yles,
    it’
    sbeent
    ool
    ong.I
    ’
    mlosi
    ngmymi
    ndher
    e.”

    Nkomo:
    “Wewi
    l
    lgetherbackRandal
    l
    .”

    He’
    sreal
    l
    ytr
    yingt
    oreachoutbutRandal
    lwi
    l
    lnothav
    eit
    .

    Me:“He’
    sri
    ght
    ,Mbusogetmethatl
    aptop.Ineedt
    otraceher
    ,Mkhi
    zel
    i
    kesambushi
    ngpeopl
    e
    r
    ight
    ?It’
    sti
    metogi
    vehim at
    asteofhi
    sownmedi ci
    ne.”

    Neo:
    “OabonaSty
    los,j
    oaleuabua.Dokot
    elasi
    cel
    ail
    apt
    op.
    ”(YouseeSt
    yles,
    nowy
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ng.
    Canwepl
    easehavethelapt
    opdoctor?
    )

    Mbusosaunt
    ersoutoft
    her
    oom.

    MKHI
    ZE*

    Fr
    ancocomesl
    i
    mpi
    ngi
    ntomyof
    fi
    ce,
    hel
    ooksl
    i
    kehel
    l
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Ar
    eyouondr
    ugs?
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Isweari
    fsomeoneasksmet
    hatagai
    n,Iwi
    l
    lputabul
    l
    ett
    hrought
    hei
    rhead.
    ”

    Me:“
    Franco,
    youlookl
    ikeadr
    ugaddict
    .Howel
    sewoul
    dyouexpl
    aint
    hispani
    cony
    ourf
    ace?
    Ar
    en’
    tyousupposedtobeint
    hehospit
    al?
    ”

    Hewi
    peshi
    ssweataway
    .

    Franco:“Youhav etohelpmeman, t
    here’
    sanoldmanandhe’sf
    ollowi
    ngme.Icoul
    dn’
    tstayin
    thathospitalanymore,i
    t’
    shaunt
    ed.Whateverwasi
    nthatr
    oom,keepsfol
    l
    owingme.Ihadto
    changehot elroomst hr
    eeti
    mes,Idon’
    tknowwhattodoanymore.Hewon’tl
    eav
    emeal oneand
    hewon’ tletmesleep.”

    Me:
    “You’
    redef
    ini
    tel
    yondr
    ugs.
    ”

    Hegr
    abst
    hecol
    l
    arofmyshi
    rt
    ,rageandt
    err
    orwr
    it
    tenonhi
    ssweat
    yface.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Iam notonf
    ucki
    ngdr
    ugsman,
    ther
    eissomet
    hingoutt
    her
    eandi
    t’
    saf
    termyl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Ipushhi
    m of
    fofme.

    Me:
    “It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dgohome.
    ”

    Hef
    reezesashi
    sey
    eswi
    denl
    i
    kehe’
    sseei
    ngaghost
    .

    Fr
    anco:
    “Doy
    ouheart
    hat
    ?”

    Hesay
    sandt
    urnst
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    .
    Fr
    anco:
    “It
    ’scomi
    ng,
    dosomet
    hingpl
    ease.Makei
    tst
    op.
    ”

    May
    bet
    her
    eissomet
    hing,
    hei
    sengul
    fedbyf
    earandt
    hati
    ssomet
    hingonecannotf
    ake.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    ldoy
    ouwantf
    rom me?Gett
    hef
    uckoutofher
    e.”

    Heshout
    swhi
    l
    egl
    anci
    ngatt
    hedoor
    .

    Or
    ,may
    behei
    sseei
    ngt
    hings.Ther
    eisnoonet
    her
    e.

    Hest
    aggersbackandf
    all
    sonhi
    sbut
    t,ascr
    eam escapeshi
    smout
    hashecov
    ershi
    sfacewi
    th
    hi
    shands.

    Fr
    anco:
    “No,
    leav
    emeal
    one.Leav
    emeal
    one.
    ”

    Hescr
    eams,
    Iam st
    andi
    ngher
    emy
    sti
    fi
    edbyev
    ery
    thi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Fr
    anco?
    ”

    Ishout
    .Hedoesn’
    trespondbutcont
    inuesscr
    eami
    ngandcur
    singasi
    fIam noti
    nther
    oom.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Getawayf
    rom mey
    oudev
    il
    .”

    Hescreams,
    suddenl
    yIf
    eel
    aheav
    ypr
    esencehov
    eri
    ngabout
    ,int
    her
    oom.Chi
    l
    lsr
    unt
    hroughmy
    body
    .

    Me:
    “Whoar
    eyou?Getoutofmyhouse,
    youhav
    enobusi
    nessher
    e.”

    Iexpr
    ess,
    feari
    stuggi
    ngatmeaswel l
    ,itt
    akesawhil
    eforwhateveriti
    stodepar
    t.Fr
    ancol
    ooks
    upatme,hisbodyqui
    ver
    ing.Ihav
    eneverseenhi
    m soafr
    aidbefore.

    Fr
    anco:
    “He’
    sgonebut
    ,hewi
    l
    lcomeback,
    heal
    way
    scomesback.
    ”

    Heexpr
    esses.

    Whatt
    hehel
    lj
    usthappened?

    Tobecont
    inued…
    53*

    AMARA*

    Iam sof
    rust
    rat
    ed,
    Ihat
    ethatIam her
    eandIhatet
    hatIam st
    uckont
    hisbed.Thi
    sroom i
    s
    suf
    focat
    ingmeandIam l
    osi
    ngmywi tst
    ryi
    ngtogr
    aspforair
    .

    Kazi
    :“Amar
    a.”

    Kaziwhi
    spersasshedashesint
    other
    oom,shehast
    hisexci
    tedl
    ookonherf
    ace.Il
    eerather
    bounci
    ngtowardsme,shehandsmeaphone.

    Kazi
    :“Someonewant
    stospeakt
    oyou,
    bequi
    ckI
    ’
    llwat
    choutf
    ort
    hedoor
    .”

    Shesay
    sinanemer
    gencyt
    one,
    Idon’
    tunder
    standast
    owhowoul
    dwantt
    ospeakt
    ome.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sit
    ?”

    Kazi
    :“Justt
    akei
    t.
    ”

    Shepushesi
    tinmyhand,
    gest
    urest
    hatIshoul
    dspeakandhur
    ri
    est
    oguar
    dthedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Hel
    l
    o.”

    “
    Mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Myheartthudssohar
    dagai
    nstmychestt
    hati
    tfeel
    sli
    keI
    ’
    m aboutt
    ohav
    eahear
    tat
    tack.I
    t
    can’
    tbe,no,unl
    essi
    twasal
    lanact
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a?Hel
    l
    o?”

    Ihearpani
    cinhi
    svoi
    ceasIgosi
    l
    ent
    ,I’
    mtooshockedt
    ospeak.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hel
    l
    o?”

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    I
    t’
    shi
    stur
    ntogoqui
    et.

    Randal
    l
    :“Pl
    easesayt
    hatagai
    n.”

    Hepl
    eads,
    almostsoundi
    ngemot
    ional
    .

    Randal
    l:
    “Yousai
    dmynameandGod,
    itsoundedsogoodcomi
    ngf
    rom y
    ourmout
    h.Pl
    easesay
    i
    tagainmehemma.”(
    Myqueen.
    )

    Iam over
    whel
    medbythesoundofhi
    svoi
    ce,Randal
    li
    saliv
    e.Hei
    sal
    i
    ve,
    Ifeel
    myemot
    ionsbui
    l
    d
    upintoapower
    ful
    sur
    ge.Theyengul
    fmewit
    hinaminiscul
    e.

    Kazi
    looksatmewi
    thwor
    ry.
    Randal
    l:
    “Amara,Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ououtoft
    her
    e.Remembermypr
    omi
    se,
    youbel
    ongwi
    thmeandIam
    comingfory
    ou.”

    Heassur
    esmewhenhef
    indsar
    easonbehi
    ndmysuddenbur
    stoft
    ear
    s.

    Me:
    “You’
    real
    i
    ve?
    ”

    If
    inal
    l
    ysay
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m her
    e.”

    Thet
    houghtmakesmet
    earupagai
    n,Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkIwoul
    dhearhi
    svoi
    ceagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,thi
    smansay
    she…”

    Randal
    l:“
    Iknow,
    don’
    tworry,
    Iwill
    getyououtoft
    here.Don’tt
    ryany
    thi
    ngasy
    et,
    Mkhi
    zei
    s
    danger
    ousandhewon’thesi
    tat
    etokil
    lyoui
    fyoupisshim off
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    mti
    red.
    ”

    Iconf
    essmywear
    iness.

    Randal
    l
    :“YouhavebeenthroughsomuchAmarawhenal
    loft
    hisi
    sov
    er,
    Ipr
    omi
    se,
    Iwi
    l
    lgi
    ve
    younot
    hingbutpeace.You’
    regoi
    ngtobeokay
    ”

    Hesay s,
    Icanonlyshedtearsatthesoundofhisvoi
    ce.Kazijer
    ksi
    nshockandr unstome,she
    grabsthephonefrom myhand.I’
    mt akenbyheractasIlookupather,
    thenIhearvoicesf
    rom
    outsi
    dethedoor.Shequickl
    yhidesthephoneinherpocketandkeepshersel
    fbusyasshe
    checksmyt emperat
    ureandpulse.ThedooropensandMkhi zewalksi
    n,hetakesafewsteps
    towardusandstopsfarenough.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Nur
    se.
    ”

    Kazi
    tur
    nst
    ogawkathi
    m.

    Kazi
    :“Yes,
    sir
    .”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Kazi
    :“She’
    sget
    ti
    ngbet
    ter
    .”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    es.

    Doesheev
    encar
    e?Thi
    sseemst
    obemor
    eaboutf
    ulf
    il
    li
    nghi
    ssi
    ckdesi
    res.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Goodbecausewehav
    eaweddi
    ngnextweekend.
    ”

    Igagatt
    het
    hought
    ,Iwoul
    dli
    ter
    all
    y,r
    atherdi
    e.

    Mkhi
    ze:“Thehousewi
    llbecr
    owdedfr
    om toni
    ght,
    fami
    lymembersarecomingformybrot
    her
    ’s
    f
    uner
    al.TomorrowIwantyoutost
    aywit
    hAmar a,
    nooneel
    seshouldentert
    hisroom.
    ”

    Kazi
    :“Yessi
    r.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksatmebef
    orewal
    ki
    ngout
    .
    Kazi
    :“Thatol
    dmanmakesmyski
    ncr
    awl
    .”

    Sheshi
    ver
    sasshedecl
    ares.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyougett
    oRandal
    l
    ?”

    Ihav
    ebeenmeani
    ngt
    oask.

    Kazi
    :“Wel
    l
    ,Sty
    lessentmeheretospyonMkhi
    ze.Thi
    swasbef
    orey
    ouwer
    eki
    dnapped.
    RememberhowIcouldn’
    tgetahol
    dofhim?
    ”

    Me:“
    Yes,St
    yleswasshot
    .Thel
    astt
    imeIsawhi
    m,hewasn’
    tlooki
    nggood.So,
    Iki
    ndoff
    igur
    ed
    t
    hatmaybehedied.
    ”

    Kazi
    :“Well
    ,he’
    sverymuchal
    i
    ve.Heactual
    lycal
    ledmewhi
    l
    eIwasi
    ntheki
    tchenandsai
    d
    Randal
    lneededtospeakt
    oyou,Iwasshocked.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evehe’
    sal
    i
    ve.NowI
    ’
    m mor
    eeagert
    oleav
    ethi
    spl
    ace,
    Iwantt
    oseehi
    m.”

    Iconf
    esswhatmyhear
    thol
    ds,
    shesmi
    l
    es.

    Kazi
    :“Youwi
    l
    l,soon.Fornow,
    youj
    usthav
    etoendur
    ethi
    spr
    ison.
    ”

    Isi
    gh,
    assher
    emi
    ndsmeofmycur
    rentsi
    tuat
    ion.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mymooddroppedsi
    ncet
    heint
    ervi
    ew,Ihavetri
    edtothi
    nkpositi
    vebut,t
    hedoctorr
    eall
    ygott
    o
    me.Iopt
    edt
    ocleant
    hehouse,
    Ineedt okeepbusy
    .Itwil
    ldefi
    nit
    elyhel
    pmef or
    get,Imiss
    Amarasomuch.Wewoul
    dbelaughingthi
    swholethi
    ngoff,Iwouldevenfor
    getwhyIwasupset
    .

    Mbusowalksi
    njustasIfi
    nishcl
    eani
    ngt
    hel
    ounge,
    hel
    ookssur
    pri
    sed,
    probabl
    ybecausehe
    sai
    dnott
    ocleanthehouse.

    It
    ossmy
    sel
    font
    hecouchandheav
    easi
    ghofexhaust
    ion.

    Mbuso:
    “Andt
    hen?
    ”

    Ishr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    s.

    Me:
    “Ar
    en’
    tyousupposedt
    obeatwor
    k?”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m onalunchbreak,Iwant
    edt
    ocheckony
    ouandhearhowt
    hei
    nter
    viewwent
    .You
    wer
    enotansweri
    ngy ourphone.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sont
    hechar
    gerupst
    air
    s.”
    Mbuso:
    “Okay
    .Whyar
    eyoucl
    eani
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Tocl
    earmyhead.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Di
    dn’
    tyougett
    hej
    ob?
    ”

    Heset
    tl
    esnextt
    ome.

    Me:
    “Youmeant
    hej
    obIgotbef
    oreIev
    ensi
    gnedt
    hecont
    ract
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “Ist
    hatwhyy
    ou’
    rebl
    ue?
    ”

    Me:
    “CanIasky
    ousomet
    hing?
    ”

    Henods.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    out
    hinkofme?
    ”

    Hi
    sey
    esbuck,
    Icaughthi
    m of
    fguar
    dwi
    tht
    hisone.

    Mbuso:
    “Wher
    eist
    hiscomi
    ngf
    rom?
    ”

    Me:
    “Justat
    hought
    .”

    Hecl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oatandshi
    ft
    sonhi
    sseat
    .

    Me:
    “For
    getIasked.
    ”

    Ipr
    ocl
    aim andat
    temptt
    ogetup,
    hegr
    absmyar
    m gent
    ly,
    pul
    l
    ingmebackdown.

    Okay
    .

    He’
    slooki
    ngi
    ntomyey
    esandIshoul
    dbel
    ooki
    ngawayr
    ightaboutnow.

    Idon’
    t.

    Mbuso:
    “Wher
    eist
    hiscomi
    ngf
    rom Lel
    o?Di
    dNamhl
    asaysomet
    hing?
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’shername?
    ”

    Hef
    urr
    owshi
    sey
    ebr
    ows.

    Mbuso:
    “Shesai
    dsomet
    hing,
    didn’
    tshe?
    ”

    Me:
    “Isai
    dfor
    geti
    tMbuso,
    it’
    snoti
    mpor
    tant
    .It
    endt
    oov
    ert
    hink,
    it’
    smybi
    ggestt
    rai
    t.
    ”

    Itr
    ytogetupbut,hegrabsmyhandagai nandpullsmetohim.Ifal
    l onhi
    schestandhe
    smasheshisli
    psonmi ne,befor
    eIcouldscootawayfr
    om him.I’
    mt ooshockedtoret
    urnt
    he
    ki
    ssbut,he’
    snotstopping.Iam compel
    ledtoret
    urni
    tashistongueplungesint
    omymout h,
    causi
    ngmet omoan.

    Mycheeksareburi
    edonhi spalms, Ifi
    ndmy selfleani
    ngbackont hecouchashegentl
    ypushes
    agai
    nstme.Hishandleavesmycheekandhedi psitundermyt-
    shirt
    .If
    eelati
    ngli
    ngfeel
    ingon
    myst omachwhenhiswar m handleisurel
    ysli
    desup, makingi
    tswayt omybust.Thekiss
    deepensandIknowifIleti
    tcontinue,itwil
    lescalatetosomethi
    nghemi ghtr
    egret
    .He’s
    pr
    obabl
    ydoi
    ngmeaf
    avour
    .

    Isei
    zehi
    shandt
    hemomenthegr
    absmybr
    eastandpushi
    tawaywhi
    l
    e,t
    ryi
    ngt
    opul
    loutf
    rom
    theki
    ss.

    Me:
    “Mbuso.
    ”

    Imuffl
    eagai
    nsthisli
    ps,hepul
    l
    sbackandlooksatme.He’
    saf ewi
    nchesf
    rom myf
    ace,
    Ican
    feel
    hiswarm br
    eathfanni
    ngmyface.Aghostl
    ysmil
    edancesonhi
    smouth.

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    s,i
    swhatIt
    hinkofy
    ou.
    ”

    Hepecksmyl
    i
    psaf
    tert
    hatsof
    twhi
    spert
    hathasmeshi
    ver
    ing.

    Mbuso:“
    You’r
    eabeauti
    ful
    womanLel
    o,don’
    tev
    erl
    etanyot
    herwomanconv
    incey
    ouot
    her
    wise.
    Banomona.
    ”(Theyar
    ejeal
    ous.
    )

    Hef
    ini
    shes,
    hav
    ingmegi
    ggl
    e.

    Ibeli
    evehi
    mt hough,thelookinhiseyessaysIshould.Hisweightissti
    l
    lonmeandI ’
    m notlyi
    ng
    whenIsayitfeel
    sright.Hiseyesscanmyl i
    psandIf oreseeanotherki
    sscomi ng.My
    predi
    cti
    onscomet opass, ashetakesmyl i
    psagainsendi ngmeonanot herrol
    lofexci
    tement.
    Theonlyli
    psIhaveev ertast
    edwer eZuma’sandthisfeelsdif
    fer
    ent.Inaniceway ,
    dif
    ferent
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Ihav
    ebeenwant
    ingt
    odot
    hisf
    orawhi
    l
    enow.
    ”

    Ishyawayathi
    sremar
    k.

    Mbuso:
    “AndIwantt
    odot
    hisev
    eryday
    ,ify
    ouper
    mitme.Ipr
    omi
    set
    onev
    erst
    opki
    ssi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”

    Hi
    sst
    atementt
    hrowsmei
    ntoast
    ageofl
    aught
    er.

    Me:
    “Whi
    chshowdi
    dyougett
    hisl
    i
    nef
    rom?
    ”

    Het
    it
    ter
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Hey
    ,Iusedt
    obeapoetbacki
    ncol
    l
    ege.Ibel
    i
    eveIst
    il
    lhav
    eit
    .”

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,Mr
    .Poet
    .Yourl
    i
    neneedspol
    i
    shi
    ng,
    it’
    stoosoapy
    .”

    Hel
    aughsbef
    orehewel
    comesaser
    iousl
    ook.

    Mbuso:“
    Iknowyou’
    reafr
    aidLelobecauseofwhatyouhavebeent
    hrough,Ihav
    eseent
    hef
    ear
    i
    nyoureyes.I
    ’
    venot
    icedhowy ouwouldzoneoutanddri
    fti
    ntonot
    hingness.
    ”

    Heget
    supandpul
    l
    smewi
    thhi
    m,Imakemy
    sel
    fcomf
    ort
    abl
    eaf
    terpul
    l
    ingmyt
    -shi
    rtdown.

    Mbuso:
    “Iknowthati
    t’
    stoosoonfory
    outojumpint
    oanotherr
    elat
    ionshi
    pbut,
    Iwantt
    obethat
    per
    sonyoucancounton.Iwantt
    obetheonethatt
    akesy
    ourpainaway ,
    ify
    ouwouldl
    etme.”

    Ibl
    i
    nki
    nat
    temptt
    ofi
    ghtmyt
    ear
    s.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,thi
    sonei
    sdef
    ini
    tel
    yfr
    om amov
    ie.
    ”

    Icr
    ackaj
    oke,
    hel
    aughs.
    Mbuso:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoul
    etme?
    ”

    He’
    snotl
    ett
    ingt
    hisgo.

    Iwantto,If
    indhi
    mv er
    yattr
    act
    iveandIam dr
    awntohim.Ihavewonder
    edhowitwouldbel
    i
    ke
    tobelovedbyapersonli
    keMbusobut,myhearty
    ear
    nsforthelov
    eoftheonewhobrokeme.

    Inod,
    Ideser
    vet
    obehappy
    .

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    genui
    nel
    yandpul
    l
    smei
    ntoanot
    heri
    nsat
    iabl
    eki
    ss.

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “Issheokay
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“It
    hinkso,
    wegotdi
    sconnect
    ed.Wehav
    etogetherout
    .”

    Me:“Youknowi
    tmi
    ghtt
    akeusawhi
    l
    eri
    ght
    ?I’
    l
    lspeakt
    oKazi
    ,wehav
    etof
    indawayt
    ost
    all
    the
    wedding.
    ”

    Randal
    l:
    “Ifanyonecandoit
    ,theni
    t’
    syou.
    ”NeoNkomoandMbusol
    eftawhi
    l
    eago,
    Randal
    l
    ref
    usestoleav
    emysi de.

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    zet
    hinksy
    ou’
    redeady
    ouknowt
    hatr
    ight
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    sn’
    tthatgoodnews?Ican’
    twai
    ttoseehi
    sfacewhenheseesme.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thi
    swari
    swei
    ghi
    ngmedownnow,
    Ithi
    nki
    t’
    sti
    meIf
    inal
    l
    yst
    artaf
    ami
    l
    y.”

    Randall
    :“Afamil
    y?This,f
    rom amanwhodoesn’tbel
    i
    evei
    nmar
    ri
    agenordoeshewantki
    ds?
    Francoshould’
    veshotyousooner
    ,thi
    sisgr
    eatman.”

    Hel
    aughsashemocksme.

    Me:
    “Neardeat
    hexper
    iencescanhav
    eahugei
    mpactony
    ourl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Bel
    i
    evemeIknow,
    Mr.Okol
    i
    eisi
    nthecount
    ry.
    ”

    Hedi
    scl
    oses.

    Me:
    “Oh!Ihopey
    out
    wodi
    dn’
    thav
    eawr
    est
    li
    ngmat
    ch.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Randal
    l
    :“No,
    Ithi
    nkhecomesi
    npeace.Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingInev
    ert
    oldy
    ouSt
    yles,
    I’
    m mar
    ri
    ed.
    ”

    Hesay
    sitl
    i
    kei
    t’
    snotshocki
    ng.

    Me:
    “What
    ?”
    Iam per
    plexed,
    hehaul
    sasi
    gh,
    asher
    oughl
    ybr
    usheshi
    shead.

    Randall
    :“Yeah,tr
    adit
    ionall
    y.Iwokeuponedayandwast oldthatI
    ’m ahusbandt osomeoneI
    havenev ermet,Iwaseighteen.Appar
    entl
    y,whoev
    erwil
    ltakeoverfr
    om t hethr
    one,awifei
    s
    chosenforhim.Ihaveal waysknownthisgrowi
    ngupbut,wasagainstit.Fat
    herknewIdidn’t
    wantit,mymot herwasagai nsti
    taswell
    .Wecamet oanagr eementthatwewi l
    lnolonger
    pract
    icethiscustom,Idon’tknowwhatcli
    ckedinmyfat
    her ’
    shead.”

    Me:
    “Hemar
    ri
    edy
    ouof
    f?”

    Henodssadl
    y.

    Me:
    “Wai
    t,Idon’
    tunder
    stand.Howdi
    dyougetmar
    ri
    edwi
    thoutbei
    ngpr
    esentatt
    heweddi
    ng?
    ”

    Myquest
    iont
    ickl
    eshi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ther
    e’ssomerit
    ualtheydowi
    tht
    hegi
    rl
    ’sf
    ami
    l
    y,i
    fyourchi
    l
    disabsenty
    ourf
    athercan
    gi
    veconsentonyourbehal
    f.
    ”

    Me:
    “So,
    itwasat
    radi
    ti
    onal
    weddi
    ng?
    ”

    Randall
    :“Ifyoucanputi tthatway,that’
    stheni
    ghtIdeci dedt
    orun.IknewIwouldneverbefree
    from hi
    scont rol,hewouldalwaysmakedeci si
    onsforme.That ’
    swhyIhatedbeingreminded
    thatI
    ’mr oyalt
    y ,i
    tbroughtbackallt
    hosememor ies.IlookeduptothatmanSty
    les,wewer e
    i
    nseparableandl eavi
    ngmyf amil
    ybr okeme.Myf ather’
    sbetr
    ayalhasmademet hepersonIam,
    Ihavebot t
    ledt hi
    supmywhol eli
    fe.
    ”

    Iseeapangofhur
    tinhi
    sey
    es,
    Randal
    lhasnev
    erbeent
    hisemot
    ional
    bef
    ore.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappennow?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Whydoy
    out
    hinkhe’
    sher
    e?Hewant
    smeback,
    nooneel
    secant
    akeov
    ert
    het
    hrone
    butme.”

    Me:
    “Yourbr
    othercanst
    epi
    nony
    ourbehal
    f.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“He’
    snotmyf
    ather
    ’sson,
    alt
    houghhei
    srecogni
    zedasone,
    theywantanOkol
    i
    ebl
    ood.
    ”

    Me:“
    Randall
    ,youneedt
    ospeakt
    ohi
    m,t
    ell
    him howy
    ouf
    eel
    .NowIseet
    her
    easonbehi
    ndy
    our
    br
    okenness.
    ”

    Hef
    rowns.

    Randal
    l
    :“Br
    okenness?
    ”

    Me:“Yes,l
    ackoftr
    usti
    npeople.Thewratht
    hat’
    sholdi
    ngyoucapti
    vat
    eandshutti
    ngpeopl
    eout.
    Al
    lthesearetheemoti
    onsyoufeelt
    owardsyourfat
    herhence,
    youref
    lectt
    hem onot
    herpeopl
    e.
    Bot
    tli
    ngthi
    ngsuponlybreaksyoubruh.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    esal
    i
    ttl
    eashecar
    eful
    l
    yscansme,
    Ilaughathi
    sst
    upi
    dit
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Doct
    orSi
    shi
    ?”
    Het
    aunt
    s,Iknowwhathe’
    sget
    ti
    ngat
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Ir
    especthospi
    tal
    s,wow,
    you’
    reapsy
    chol
    ogi
    stnow.
    ”

    Me:“Hey,
    youknowI ’
    mright
    .Thi
    nkabouti
    tRandy
    ,ify
    ouwantAmarai
    ny ourl
    ifey
    ouhavet
    o
    healf
    orher.Yourwr
    athwil
    lcometopl
    ayonceinawhil
    eandAmarawi
    llgetti
    redofi
    tandl
    eav
    e
    you.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Thanky
    ouf
    orpai
    nti
    ngt
    hepi
    ctur
    e.”

    Hehat
    est
    het
    houghtofbei
    ngwi
    thouther
    ,Iknowhi
    mtoowel
    l
    .

    Me:“
    Peoplej
    udgey
    ouf
    rom adi
    stancebecauset
    heydon’
    treal
    l
    yknowy
    oubut
    ,Iknowy
    ou’
    renot
    t
    hatbad.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Fr
    ankl
    y,Icoul
    dn’
    tcar
    elesswhatpeopl
    ethi
    nkofme.
    ”

    Tr
    uebut
    …

    Me:“Iknowbut ,
    weneedpeopl
    e.Nooneisaloneri
    nthiswor
    ldandy
    oubei ngdrawnt
    oAmar
    a
    pr
    ovesit.Speaki
    ngofAmara,y
    ouneedtodi
    vorcethatwomanwhoeversheis.
    ”

    Il
    aughcausi
    nghi
    mtoshakehi
    sheadi
    ndi
    str
    ess.

    Randall
    :“Divorce?Abloodcov enantwasmadebet weenus,rememberIsai dawi feischosen
    foryouatbi r
    th.That’
    swhent heycallapri
    estwhoperfor
    mst heri
    tual
    ,twoi nnocentinf
    antswho
    havenocl uewhati sbei
    ngdonet ot hem.Ift
    hat
    ’snotwit
    chcraf
    tthen,Idon’tknow.Onlyapr i
    est
    canbreakt hatcovenant
    ,ift
    hegi r
    l’
    sf ami
    lydecl
    i
    nes.Theyrequestareplacement,ithastobe
    someonewhoi saft
    ermeorbef oreme. ”

    Me:
    “Iny
    ourcaseRav
    en?
    ”

    Hel
    aughsasi
    fit
    ’saj
    oke.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hel
    ovesmyf
    atherbut
    ,hewoul
    dnev
    eragr
    eet
    othi
    s.Rav
    encanal
    sobest
    ubbor
    n.”

    Me:
    “Hel
    ovesy
    out
    oo,
    may
    behej
    ustmi
    ght…”

    Heponder
    suponi
    tashest
    aresi
    ntospace.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ican’
    tbewi
    thoutAmar
    abr
    uh,
    Idon’
    tseemy
    sel
    fwi
    thany
    oneel
    sebuther
    .”

    Hi
    sconf
    essi
    onshocksme.

    Me:
    “Andwhendi
    dwedeci
    det
    his?Youhav
    eal
    way
    sbeendeny
    ingt
    haty
    oul
    oveher
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youar
    enott
    heonl
    yonewi
    thaneardeat
    hexper
    ience.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Randal
    l:
    “Thatni
    ghtwhent
    heytookher
    ,thef
    eari
    nherey
    esandwhenshepl
    eadedf
    ormyl
    i
    fe.
    Somethi
    ngpoppedandIknew.
    ”

    Me:
    “ThankGod,
    Iwasbegi
    nni
    ngt
    owor
    ry.
    ”
    Hesni
    cker
    s.

    Me:
    “Itt
    ookusbei
    ngshott
    ovi
    ewl
    i
    fef
    rom adi
    ff
    erentper
    spect
    ive.
    ”

    “
    Youwer
    eshotSt
    yles?
    ”

    Shi
    t!Khet
    hu.

    She’
    sst
    andi
    ngatt
    hedoor
    ,herhandsf
    oldedacr
    ossherchest
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    54*

    NKOMO*

    IwentbacktoRandall
    ’shouse,
    hemi
    ghtnotwantmeher
    ebut
    , Iam notabor
    ti
    ngmi
    ssi
    on.Iwi
    l
    l
    seethi
    sthrough,
    itcoul
    dalsobemychancet
    oavengemymother’
    sdeath.

    Iwal
    kint
    ofi
    ndChi
    omaar
    gui
    ngwi
    thOl
    i
    viai
    ntheki
    tchen.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Iwantt
    oseemychi
    l
    dandt
    hiswomanwi
    l
    lnotl
    etme.
    ”

    Iknowhert
    obenot
    hingbut
    ,di
    srespect
    ful
    andr
    ude.Shet
    hinkst
    hewor
    ldoweshersomet
    hing.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Shei
    snotal
    l
    owedany
    wher
    eneart
    hechi
    l
    d.”

    Oli
    via:“
    She’
    smydaught
    er,
    Ihav
    eev
    eryr
    ightt
    oseeher
    .Nowt
    hatherf
    atheri
    sgone,
    I’
    mtheonl
    y
    parentshehas.
    ”

    St
    ylescoul
    dber
    ight
    ,may
    beOl
    i
    viai
    sthemol
    e,t
    ell
    i
    nghert
    het
    rut
    hwoul
    dber
    isky
    .

    Me:
    “It
    hinki
    t’
    sbet
    teri
    fyoul
    eav
    e.”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Who’
    sgoi
    ngt
    omakeme?Icangety
    oupeopl
    ear
    rest
    edf
    orki
    dnappi
    ngachi
    l
    d.”

    If
    orgott
    oment
    iont
    hatshecanbecr
    azyt
    oo,
    Ihav
    etot
    hinkf
    ast
    .

    Me:
    “Li
    yanai
    snother
    e,hergr
    andmot
    hert
    ookher
    .”

    Shescowl
    sandmakesaf
    ace.Sheknowsnot
    hingaboutRandal
    l
    ’sl
    i
    fe,
    thi
    sshoul
    dwor
    k.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whatgr
    andmot
    her
    ?Ihav
    en’
    tmetanyofRandal
    l
    ’sr
    elat
    ives.
    ”

    Imanaget
    ocauseconf
    usi
    oni
    nherhead,
    Ishoul
    dpol
    i
    shi
    tnow.

    Me:
    “Whenhi
    sfami
    l
    yhear
    dofhi
    sdeat
    h,t
    heycameandt
    ookLi
    yana.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Wher
    edi
    dtheyt
    akemybaby
    ?Ihav
    etogetherback,
    shecan’
    tli
    vewi
    thst
    ranger
    s.”

    Done…

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowbut
    ,Ipr
    omi
    set
    ofi
    ndoutf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Howcoul
    dRandal
    ldot
    hist
    ome?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Whatdi
    dRandal
    ldoOl
    i
    via?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Het
    ookmybabyf
    rom meandt
    henget
    shi
    msel
    fki
    l
    led.
    ”
    Me:“
    Whot ol
    dyouRandal
    lwaski
    l
    led?Hecould’
    vedi
    edinhi
    ssl
    eeporhadahear
    tat
    tack.Wher
    e
    di
    dyouhearthenewsf
    rom?Nooneelseknowsbutus.
    ”

    Shebecomesr
    est
    lessandcl
    ear
    shert
    hroat
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Ihav
    etogo.
    ”

    Sheannouncesandpouncesoutt
    hedoor
    ,leav
    ingChi
    omaandIst
    unned.

    Chi
    oma:
    “ThatwomanhasexposedLi
    yat
    osomedi
    sgust
    ingt
    hings.
    ”

    Shest
    ates,
    shel
    ookspeev
    edbyt
    het
    houghtofOl
    i
    via.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    sgust
    ingt
    hings?
    ”

    Shehuf
    fs.

    Chi
    oma:
    “AskNeo,
    he’
    l
    ltel
    lyou.
    ”

    NOMBULELO*

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyounotgoi
    ngbackt
    owor
    k?”

    We’
    vebeensi
    tti
    ngont hecouchshari
    ngever
    ythi
    ngther
    eistoknowabouteachot
    her.Mbusoi
    s
    l
    yi
    ngdownwithhisfeetstr
    etchedoutandhi
    sheadrest
    ingonmythi
    ghs,hi
    shandskeep
    t
    hemsel
    vesoccupiedwiththestr
    andsofmydreads.

    Mbuso:“Whywoul
    dIwantt
    ogobackt
    othatbor
    ingpl
    acewhenIcanspendt
    imewi
    thmy
    gi
    rl
    fr
    iend?”

    Ismi
    l
    eathi
    m.

    Me:
    “Yousai
    dgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Yes,
    you’
    remygi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”

    Me:
    “Il
    i
    ket
    hesoundoft
    hat
    ,boy
    fri
    end.
    ”

    Il
    eanoverandpeckhisl
    i
    ps,hedeepenst
    heki
    sswhenIt
    ryt
    opul
    lout
    .If
    eel
    myhear
    tbangi
    ng
    agai
    nstmychestwit
    heverymove.

    Mbuso:
    “Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ogett
    ir
    edoft
    his.
    ”

    Hear
    ti
    cul
    ateswi
    thasmi
    l
    eonhi
    sface.

    Me:
    “Yeahr
    ight
    ,Iwi
    l
    lmakesur
    etor
    emi
    ndy
    ou,
    whenIhav
    efor
    got
    tenhowy
    ourki
    ssest
    ast
    eli
    ke.
    ”

    Mywor dshavehi
    m sni
    cker
    ing,
    IhavecometoknowthatMbusoisalaugherandit
    ’ski
    ndof
    ther
    apeuti
    c.Hehasanunquest
    ionabl
    eposi
    ti
    vedemeanour
    ,itmakesmewantt obearoundhi
    m
    allt
    heti
    me.
    Mbuso:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotgi
    vey
    ouachancet
    ocompl
    ain.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mmmhhh?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    mtaki
    ngy
    ououtonadat
    etoni
    ghtbyt
    heway
    .”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,that
    ’ssudden.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Notr
    eal
    l
    y,Ihav
    ewast
    edenought
    ime.
    ”

    Me:
    “Meani
    ng?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Accordi
    ngtomycal
    cul
    ati
    ons,
    we’
    resupposedt
    ohav
    esexaf
    tert
    hreedat
    es.So,
    we’
    re
    goi
    ngoutt
    onightandt
    wicet
    omorr
    ow.”

    Thi
    sisfunny
    ,hesmi
    l
    eswhenIguf
    fawandst
    art
    slaughi
    ngaswel
    l
    ,asIst
    ruggl
    etocont
    rol
    mysel
    f.

    Me:
    “It
    hinky
    ou’
    rei
    nthewr
    ongpr
    ofessi
    on,
    youshoul
    dtakeupcomedyr
    eal
    l
    y.”

    I
    ’m bei
    ngsar
    cast
    icandhegetsi
    tashesnigger
    s.Itakehislef
    thandt
    oinspecthi
    sfi
    ft
    hfi
    nger
    ,
    wanti
    ngtoknowthest
    orybehi
    ndhi
    mlosinghalfofhisnail
    .

    Me:
    “Whathappenedher
    e?”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    Mbuso:“
    Ialmostfor
    gotaboutthi
    s,i
    twassuchalongti
    meago.Iwasar
    ebel
    l
    iouschi
    l
    dwho
    di
    dn’
    tli
    stentohi
    smot herwhenshesai
    ddon’tpl
    aywit
    hsci
    ssor
    s.”

    Me:
    “And,
    youcuty
    ourf
    inger
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “Iwast
    ryi
    ngt
    ofi
    xmybi
    ke,
    thatpl
    andi
    dn’
    tgowel
    l
    .”

    Hel
    aughs,
    ther
    e’sal
    oudknockatt
    hedoor
    .Hef
    rownsseemi
    ngl
    yannoy
    edbyi
    t.

    Mbuso:
    “Theowneroft
    hehousei
    sher
    e,weshoul
    dev
    acuat
    e.”

    Hepunsasheget
    sup,
    Ilaughi
    nresponset
    oit
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Ser
    iousl
    y,whoknocksl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”

    Me:
    “Thel
    andl
    ord.
    ”

    Irespondwit
    halaugh,heopenst
    hedoor
    .Atal
    lmaninablacksui
    tandav
    int
    agecapst
    andsat
    thedoor,hegr
    imacesatMbusothemomenthi
    seyesfal
    lonhim.

    Mbuso:
    “Baba?
    ”

    Mbusot
    urnst
    omeandIj
    umpf
    rom myseat
    .

    STYLES*
    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    Shef
    rowns.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Don’
    tbabymeSt
    yles.Whati
    sgoi
    ngon?Whoshoty
    ou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouknowwher
    etof
    indme?
    ”

    Shewal
    ksi
    n.

    Khet
    hu:
    “If
    oll
    owedRandal
    landt
    heguy
    s,Ihear
    dthem t
    alki
    ngabouty
    oui
    nhi
    sroom.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youwer
    eeav
    esdr
    oppi
    ng?
    ”

    Pr
    ivacyi
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    oRandal
    l
    ,heappear
    stober
    il
    edbyKhet
    hu’
    scur
    tness.

    Khethu:
    “Iwaspassingthat
    ’swhenIhear
    dNkomot
    ell
    i
    ngy
    out
    hatSt
    yleswasshot
    .Ican’
    t
    bel
    ieveyoukeptt
    hisfrom me.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    twanty
    out
    owor
    ry.
    ”

    Khethu:
    “Iwasworri
    edsti
    l
    l.What
    ’sgoi
    ngSt
    yles?Fi
    rstRandywasshot
    ,theny
    ou?Ar
    eyout
    wo
    backinthatl
    i
    feagai
    n?”

    Thi
    siswhatIwast
    ryi
    ngt
    oav
    oidandhergi
    vi
    ngmeaspeechaboutbei
    ngabet
    terper
    sonand
    l
    ivi
    ngbyt
    helaw.

    Me:
    “No,
    youknowwel
    eftt
    hatl
    i
    feal
    ongt
    imeago.
    ”

    Il
    i
    e,shewi
    l
    lnev
    erunder
    stand.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Randal
    l
    ,IknowSt
    yleswi
    l
    lnev
    ert
    ell
    met
    het
    rut
    h.”

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    yleswi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    i
    etoy
    ouKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Khethu:“Heisl
    yingt
    omer
    ightnow.I
    sthi
    saboutAmar
    a?I
    sshet
    her
    easonwhyy
    out
    woar
    ein
    thi
    ssituati
    on?”

    Randall
    glancesatme, Ial
    sodon’tknowhowsheknowsabouther.So,Ishr
    ugmyshoulder
    s.
    Khethuwill
    gocrazyifshefindsoutthatRandal
    lwaskeepi
    ngagi
    rlagai
    nstherwi
    sh.Shemight
    cr
    ackandpr obabl
    ytellherf
    ather.

    Me:
    “Baby
    …”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Bef
    orey
    ousayany
    thi
    ngSt
    yles,
    justknowt
    hati
    fyoul
    i
    etome.Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndoutt
    het
    rut
    h.”

    Wehav
    edonesuchagr
    eatj
    obi
    nhi
    dingt
    hisf
    rom hersof
    ar.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whot
    oldy
    ouaboutAmar
    a?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Itdoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    .Appar
    ent
    ly,
    yout
    woar
    elooki
    ngf
    orher
    .Whoi
    sshe?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“She’
    smygi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    Thatwasf
    ast
    ,heogl
    esatme,
    gest
    uri
    ngwi
    thhi
    sey
    est
    hathe’
    sgott
    his.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wehadali
    tt
    lef
    ightandshel
    efti
    naf
    itofr
    age,
    shet
    urnedof
    fherphoneandnoone
    knowswher
    esheis.
    ”

    It
    hinkshebel
    i
    evesi
    t.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youhav
    eagi
    rl
    fr
    iendRandal
    l
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youknowme,
    Ili
    ket
    okeepmyl
    i
    fepr
    ivat
    e.”

    Herey
    esl
    ockwi
    thmi
    neandi
    nasecondt
    heyar
    etear
    y.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Aww,
    mypoorbaby
    .”

    Sheswoopstomeandcr adl
    esmei nahug,
    Iwi
    denmyey
    esatRandal
    landheshr
    ugshi
    s
    shoul
    der
    s.HelooksasconfusedasIam.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Lookaty
    ouSt
    yles,
    Idon’
    tli
    keseei
    ngy
    oul
    i
    ket
    his.Doesi
    thur
    t?”

    Shecupsmycheeks.

    Me:
    “I’
    m okaybaby
    .”

    Shepr
    essesherl
    i
    psonmi
    ne,
    theki
    ssl
    i
    nger
    sont
    il
    lRandal
    lcl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    fyout
    wowantmet
    otakepi
    ctur
    es,
    Idon’
    tmi
    nd.Ij
    ustdi
    dn’
    tbr
    ingmyphonet
    hough.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Funny
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Wat
    chi
    ngt
    wopeopl
    eki
    ss?Ther
    e’snot
    hingf
    unnyaboutt
    hat
    .”

    Hej
    osher
    s,causi
    ngmet
    ochor
    tl
    e,Khet
    huaccept
    sasmi
    l
    e.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Yousti
    ll
    haven’
    ttol
    dmeaboutt
    hebl
    oodbat
    hwef oundatRandal
    l
    ’shouseandwhyy
    ou
    twower
    eshot.Cl
    ear
    lyyouguysar
    eatwarwi
    thsomeoneoutther
    e.”

    Shewon’
    tlett
    hissl
    i
    de,
    IhearRandal
    lrel
    easeasi
    ghofdef
    eat
    .

    Me:“Therear
    esomet hingsy
    oushoul
    dn’
    tknowKhet
    hu,
    fory
    ourownpr
    otect
    ion.Iwoul
    dn’
    tbe
    abl
    etot akei
    t,i
    fany
    thingweret
    ohappentoyou.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Sot
    her
    eissomet
    hing?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Whodoesn’
    thaveenemi
    es?We’
    rebusi
    nessmenandi
    t’
    snor
    mal
    thatwehav
    eri
    val
    s
    whowanttotakeusdown.
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tlookconv
    inced.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youwor
    ryt
    oomuch,
    rel
    ax.You’
    rest
    ressi
    ngSt
    ylesout
    ,lookathi
    m.Poorbaby
    .”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esandpecksmyl
    i
    psbef
    oret
    aki
    ngal
    ookofwor
    ry.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Tat
    ahasbeenar
    rest
    ed,
    hewast
    ransf
    err
    edt
    opr
    ison.Theywon’
    tletusseehi
    m.”
    I
    ’
    m notsur
    pri
    sedbyt
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “Oh!
    ”

    Herf
    rownsay
    sshedi
    dn’
    texpectt
    hisr
    eact
    ionf
    rom me.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ist
    hati
    t?Oh?Mygr
    andf
    atherhasbeenar
    rest
    edSt
    yles.Won’
    tyouaskwhyorhowhe
    i
    s?”

    Me:
    “Whywashear
    rest
    ed?
    ”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    Khethu:“
    Rape.Canyoubel
    iev
    ethat?It
    ’sj
    ustimpossibl
    e,t
    atai
    stoomuchofagoodper
    son
    Sty
    les.Peopl
    eloveandr
    especthi
    m, hewouldneverdosuchaheinousact
    .”

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,may
    beweshoul
    dlett
    hecour
    tdeci
    det
    hat
    .”

    Sher
    eleasesani
    ncr
    edul
    ousgasp.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ar
    eyousay
    inghe’
    sgui
    l
    ty?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tsaythat
    ,peopl
    earenev
    erwhowethinkt
    heyare.Youthi
    nkyouknowsomeoneonl
    y,
    t
    ofi
    ndoutt
    hattheywereli
    vi
    ngadoubl
    eli
    fe,
    snakesar
    erealbabyand…”

    Khet
    hu:“Ican’tbel
    i
    evey ouSty
    les,
    youj
    ustcal
    l
    edmygr
    andf
    atherasnake.Yout
    hinkhedi
    dit
    ,
    yout
    hinkher apedthatgir
    l.
    ”

    Tear
    sfi
    l
    lupi
    nherey
    esasshegl
    ancesatmewi
    thnot
    hingbutdi
    sappoi
    ntment
    .

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu.
    ”

    It
    akeherhandandshey
    anksi
    taway
    .

    Me:“I
    ’
    mj ustst
    ati
    ngmyopi
    nionI
    ’
    m notconv
    ict
    inghi
    m so,
    itr
    eal
    l
    ydoesn’
    tmat
    terwhatIt
    hink,
    doesi
    t?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Itdoest
    ome,
    Ineedy
    out
    osuppor
    tmei
    nthi
    s.”

    Me:“AndIdo,
    whol ehear
    tedl
    y.Iwoul
    dn’
    twanty
    out
    obehur
    torany
    thi
    ng,
    youknowIwi
    l
    ldo
    any
    thingt
    oprotectyoumylove.”

    Shesof
    tensup,
    thenodshegi
    vesmepr
    ovesi
    t.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwantt
    oseehim,dadhasbeentr
    yingbut
    ,nol
    uck.Howdot
    heyt
    ransf
    erhi
    mtoa
    maxi
    mum pri
    sonSt
    yles?Can’
    tyoudosomethi
    ng?”

    She’
    saski
    ngf
    ort
    hei
    mpossi
    ble.

    Me:
    “WhatcanIdo?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youknowpeopl
    eri
    ght
    ?Usey
    ourconnect
    ionsandl
    etmemeetwi
    thhi
    m.”

    Thenmypl
    answi
    l
    lbei
    nvai
    n,t
    hatbast
    ardbel
    ongsi
    npr
    ison.
    Me:“
    Idon’
    tknowKhet
    hu,Ithi
    nkweshoul
    dwai
    tforhi
    sbai
    lhear
    ing.I
    fit
    ’spr
    ohi
    bit
    edt
    omeet
    wi
    thhimthen,
    weshoul
    dn’tri
    ski
    t.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “So,
    youdon’
    twantt
    ohel
    pme?
    ”

    Shest
    epsbackasshepout
    s.

    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Fi
    ne,
    I’
    ll
    askMbongeni
    tohel
    pme.I
    ’
    m sur
    ehewon’
    tev
    ent
    hinkt
    wiceabouti
    t.
    ”

    Thi
    sisherwayofpr
    ovoki
    ngme.

    Me:
    “Wher
    eist
    hatcomi
    ngf
    rom Khet
    hu?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    mjustsay
    ingSt
    yles,
    mymandoesn’
    twantt
    ohel
    pme.Iwi
    l
    lasksomeoneel
    set
    hen.
    ”

    Shei
    smakingmeangr
    yri
    ghtnow,
    Randal
    lcl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    .Thet
    urnoft
    hisconv
    ersat
    ioni
    s
    maki
    nghi
    m uncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    opi
    ssmeof
    fKhet
    hu?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    yles,
    Ithi
    nky
    oushoul
    dconsi
    der
    .”

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    oknowwhyshei
    sbr
    ingi
    ngt
    hatmani
    ntot
    his?
    ”

    khet
    hu:
    “Iaskedhi
    mtor
    epr
    esentt
    ata,
    heagr
    eed.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Isee.Whyaskmef
    orhel
    ptheni
    fyouhav
    efoundsomeonet
    ohel
    pyou?
    ”

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Me:
    “We’
    remut
    enowKhet
    hu?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwasj
    ustsay
    ingSt
    yles.Babyl
    ook,
    Iknowhi
    m okay
    ?Hei
    snotar
    api
    st,
    hecan’
    tbe.
    ”

    Me:“Noonesai
    dhewas,Iwasonl
    ystat
    ingthatweshoul
    dlett
    hecour
    tprovehi
    sinnocence.
    HowMbongenidiv
    edi
    ntothi
    sconv
    ersat
    ionbeatsme.Usi
    ngemoti
    onalbl
    ackmaili
    schil
    dish,
    you
    know?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    Shef
    oldsherar
    msacr
    ossherchestandput
    sast
    ropon,
    Ican’
    tseeherupset
    .

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lseewhatIcando.
    ”

    Shesnapsabi
    gsmi
    l
    e,hermoodf
    luct
    uat
    ingl
    i
    keachamel
    eonchangi
    ngcol
    our
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Thanky
    oubaby
    .”

    Shetat
    toosmyfacewi
    thki
    sses,
    Icanonl
    yhopethatIwon’
    tli
    vet
    oregr
    ett
    his.Hav
    ingJudge
    Mdlul
    iarr
    est
    edwastheonl
    ywayhecouldbest
    opped.
    Tobecont
    inued…
    55*

    NKOMO*

    Ideci
    dedtotai
    lOl
    ivi
    aaftershel
    eftthehouse,
    somethingabouthermademev erysuspici
    ous.I
    wasprovenri
    ghtwhenIsawherdr i
    veuptomyf at
    her’
    shouse.Tot hi
    nkAmar
    ai sinthathouse,
    I
    havealway
    sknownOl i
    vi
    at obesl
    ybut ,
    shehasoutdonehersel
    fthi
    stime.

    IaskedmybrotherZwel
    ethut
    omeetout
    side,
    IknowMkhi
    zei
    sathomeandhei
    sthel
    ast
    personIwantt
    osee.

    JustasIt
    ryt
    ocal
    lZwel
    ethu,
    hecomesr
    unni
    ngf
    rom t
    hegat
    e.

    Zwe:
    “Sor
    ry,
    maneededhel
    pwi
    thsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yeahr
    ight
    ,you’
    rest
    il
    lfol
    l
    owi
    ngherar
    oundatt
    hisage.Umdal
    andoda.
    ”(You’
    reol
    dman.
    )

    Het
    it
    ter
    satmyr
    esponse.

    Zwe:
    “I’
    m onl
    ytwent
    yone,
    giv
    emeabr
    eak.Ist
    il
    lneedmymot
    her
    ’sl
    oveandhercooki
    ng.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    eswi
    del
    y,r
    eveal
    i
    ngal
    lhi
    sgr
    ownmant
    eet
    h.He’
    scr
    azy
    .

    Me:
    “If
    eel
    sor
    ryf
    ort
    hewomany
    ouwi
    l
    lmar
    ry.
    ”

    Zwe:
    “Whywoul
    dyouf
    eel
    sor
    ryf
    ort
    hel
    ucki
    estwomani
    nthewor
    ld?
    ”

    Hi
    squest
    iont
    ickl
    esmyl
    aughbone.

    Me:
    “Uy
    azi
    thandamt
    wanakamaSi
    biy
    a.”(
    MaSi
    yi
    ba’
    schi
    l
    d,y
    oul
    ovey
    our
    sel
    f.
    )

    Hel
    aughs.

    Zwe:
    “Ngi
    yi
    ndodanakaMkhi
    ze.
    ”(Iam t
    hesonofMkhi
    ze.
    )

    Hesay
    sitpr
    oudl
    y,i
    fonl
    yheknew.

    Me:
    “Thati
    snot
    hingt
    obepr
    oudof
    .”

    Isquel
    chi
    nannoy
    ance.

    Zwe:“Kunganiungamxol
    eli
    uyi
    hlo?I
    ’
    m sur
    ehe’
    ssor
    ryaboutwhat
    everhedi
    d.”(
    Whydon’
    tyou
    for
    giv
    ey ourfat
    her?)

    Me:
    “Angi
    nababa.
    ”(Idon’
    thav
    eaf
    ather
    .)

    Zwel
    ethui
    sal
    way
    spushi
    ngmet
    owar
    dst
    hatman.HowcanIl
    oveamanwhoki
    l
    ledmymot
    her
    ?

    Zwe:
    “Bhut
    i…”(
    Brot
    her
    .)

    Me:
    “I’
    m nother
    efort
    hatZwe,
    theweddi
    ngi
    snextweekandIwantaccesst
    othehouse.
    ”
    Zwe:
    “It
    ’sy
    ourf
    ather
    ’shouse,
    youcangoi
    nandoutasy
    ouwi
    sh.
    ”

    Zwel
    ethuhasnocl
    ueaboutwhati
    sgoi
    ngonar
    oundhi
    m.

    Me: “
    Zwey ouknowIcan’
    t,
    Ihav
    en’
    tbeenher
    einy
    ear
    s.I
    fyourf
    atherseesmeher
    e,hewi
    l
    l
    suspectsomethi
    ng.
    ”

    Zwe:
    “What
    ’supwi
    tht
    hisweddi
    ngany
    way
    ?”

    Me:
    “Thel
    essy
    ouknow,
    thebet
    ter
    .”

    Zwe:“Yourf
    atheri
    ssti
    l
    ltaki
    ngmor
    ewi
    vesathi
    sage,
    imal
    ii
    hlany
    isaabant
    umadoda.
    ”(Money
    dr
    ivespeopl
    ecrazy.
    )

    Heshakeshi
    sheadsmi
    l
    ing.

    Me:
    “Uy
    ihl
    olowo,
    he’
    sgr
    eedyl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .Wi
    l
    lyoubeabl
    etogetmei
    nther
    e?”(
    That
    ’sy
    ourf
    ather
    .)

    Zwe:
    “Umasaiditwi
    llbeapr
    ivat
    eweddi
    ngonl
    yfami
    l
    yandy
    ouknowhowbi
    gtheMkhi
    zesar
    e,
    weareanat
    iononit
    sown.”

    Thi
    sboyi sf
    ull
    ofj
    okes,
    I’
    m gl
    adt
    hathei
    sahappychi
    l
    d,despi
    tehav
    ingashi
    tt
    yfat
    herl
    i
    ke
    Mkhize.

    Zwe:“I
    ’
    llseewhatIcando,
    youshoul
    dcomeseet
    hef
    ami
    l
    y.Someoft
    hem wi
    l
    lbear
    ri
    vi
    ng
    toni
    ght
    .”

    Tr
    ustMkhi
    zet
    ogetmar
    ri
    edaf
    terbur
    yinghi
    sbr
    other
    ,hi
    sbr
    other
    scan’
    tbehappyaboutt
    his.

    Me:
    “I’
    m okay
    ,I’
    l
    lseey
    ouatt
    hef
    uner
    alt
    hough.
    ”

    Hef
    ail
    stohi
    det
    hedi
    sappoi
    ntedl
    ookonhi
    sface.

    KHETHU*

    I
    ’
    m puti
    nawai
    ti
    ngr
    oom,
    mygr
    andf
    atherwal
    ksi
    n,accompani
    edbyt
    hewar
    den.

    Myheartbr
    eaksatt hesightofhi
    m, helooksbr
    okenanddistr
    essed.Hisbodyissl
    ouchi
    ngashe
    walkst
    owardsme, asifdefeatandshamear eheav
    il
    yseatedonhisshoulder
    s.He’sweari
    ng
    for
    malpantsandhi scr
    ispyblueshi
    rthangsoverhi
    strouser
    s,thepri
    m andproperj
    udgeMdluli
    hasbeendegraded.He’snotthestr
    ongmanI ’v
    eknownhi mtobe,ifmygrandmotherwereto
    seehimri
    ghtnow, shewoulddie.

    Me:
    “Tat
    a.”

    Ipul
    lhi
    minahug.

    Asanda:
    “Mybaby
    .”

    War
    den:
    “Not
    ouchi
    ngal
    l
    owedsi
    r.
    ”
    Headdr
    esseswi
    thr
    espect
    ,wepul
    loutandsi
    t.

    Me:
    “Unj
    ani
    ?”(
    Howar
    eyou?
    )

    Asanda:
    “Angi
    khonondi
    .Unj
    ani
    ugogowakho?
    ”(I
    ’
    m notcompl
    aini
    ng.Howi
    syourgr
    andmot
    her
    ?)

    Me:
    “Ihav
    en’
    tspokent
    ohert
    ata.
    ”

    Asanda:
    “Idon’
    twanthert
    ofi
    ndoutaboutt
    his.
    ”

    Me:
    “Howwi
    l
    lwekeepi
    tfr
    om her
    ?It
    ’sal
    lov
    ert
    henews.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghsandbr
    usheshi
    sbal
    dhead.

    Asanda:
    “Idoubtshewi
    l
    lbel
    i
    evewhatsheseesonTV,
    shewi
    l
    lwantt
    oaskmemy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Thet
    rustmygr
    andmot
    herhasonhi
    m put
    sasmi
    l
    eonhi
    sfacebut
    ,it
    ’sahear
    tbr
    eaki
    ngone.

    Asanda:
    “Ugogowakhouy
    edwa.Won’
    tyoust
    aywi
    thherunt
    ilt
    hisbl
    owsov
    er?
    ”(Your
    gr
    andmotheri
    salone.
    )

    Hepl
    eads.

    Me:
    “Sur
    e,I
    ’
    lldot
    hat
    .”

    ThenIr
    emember
    ,St
    ylesi
    sinj
    ured.Heal
    soneedsme,
    Ican’
    tdi
    sappoi
    ntmygr
    andf
    athert
    hough.

    Me:
    “Tat
    a?Whyar
    etheysay
    ingy
    oudi
    dthi
    s?”

    Hedr
    opshi
    sgaze.

    Asanda:
    “Iwi
    shIknewmychi
    l
    d,ev
    ery
    thi
    ngwi
    l
    lbeokay
    .Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Theconf
    idencei
    nhi
    svoi
    cet
    hatmadehi
    m whohei
    s,hasabandonedhi
    m.

    Me:“Howdoyouknow?Youwer
    etr
    ansf
    err
    edt
    othi
    spl
    acewi
    thoutbei
    ngconv
    ict
    ed,
    someonei
    s
    outt
    heret
    ogetyou.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    esl
    i
    ght
    ly.

    Asanda:
    “Youwat
    cht
    oomuchTVmybaby
    .”

    Me:
    “Howel
    sedoweexpl
    aint
    his?
    ”

    Asanda:
    “Idon’
    tknowKhethu,
    thiswi
    llbl
    owoff.Youshouldn’
    tworr
    yaboutme,
    Iwi
    l
    lbeokay
    .
    Justt
    akecareofyourgr
    andmother
    ,thi
    sisnotgoodforherheal
    th.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    War
    den:
    “Yourt
    imei
    sup.
    ”

    Me:
    “Best
    rongt
    ata,
    Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouout
    .Mbongeni
    iswor
    kingoni
    t.
    ”

    I
    tseemshedoesn’
    thav
    ehopei
    nMbongeni
    ,orhe’
    slosthopei
    nthi
    scasei
    ngener
    al.

    Asanda:
    “Takecar
    eofy
    our
    sel
    fmybaby
    ,Il
    ovey
    ou,
    don’
    tev
    erf
    orgett
    hat
    .”
    Me:
    “Tat
    a?”

    Whydoesi
    tsoundl
    i
    kehe’
    ssay
    inggoodby
    e.

    Me:
    “Tat
    awewi
    l
    lgety
    ououtofher
    e,Mbongeni
    iswor
    kingoni
    t.Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tlosehope.
    ”

    Hecupsmycheek.

    Asanda:
    “Umt
    shel
    eugogowakhoukut
    hingi
    yamt
    handa.
    ”(Tel
    lyourgr
    andmot
    hert
    hatIl
    oveher
    .)

    Me:
    “Ngi
    zomt
    shel
    a.Iwi
    l
    lal
    sot
    ell
    hert
    haty
    ouwi
    l
    lbehomesoon.
    ”(Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lher
    .)

    War
    den:
    “Si
    r,y
    ourt
    imei
    sup.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Wegetupandhehugsmel
    i
    kei
    t’
    sthel
    astt
    ime,
    Ifeel
    him shov
    esomet
    hingi
    ntomypocket
    .

    Asanda:
    “Gi
    vet
    hisl
    ett
    ert
    oyourgr
    andmot
    her
    ,itexpl
    ainsev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Hewhisper
    sint
    omyearandpul
    l
    soutoft
    hehug,
    Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hel
    ookonhi
    sface.Icr
    yasIwat
    ch
    hi
    m walkaway.

    MBUSO*

    Thisi
    sratherawkward,
    weareseat
    edonthecouchandnoonei
    ssay
    ingany
    thi
    ng.Myf
    ather
    ’s
    eyeskeeprunni
    ngfrom met
    oLelowhoissi
    tt
    ingri
    ghtbesi
    deme.

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyoul
    i
    keany
    thi
    ngt
    odr
    inkbaba?
    ”

    Xaba:
    “CanIspeakt
    oyoui
    npr
    ivat
    e.”

    If
    indt
    hisr
    udeandj
    udgi
    ngbyt
    hel
    ookonhi
    sface,
    hei
    snotf
    ondoft
    hiswomansi
    tt
    ingbesi
    de
    me.

    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    ll
    got
    omyr
    oom.
    ”

    Sheof
    fer
    swhi
    l
    est
    andi
    ngup.

    Xaba:
    “Youl
    i
    veher
    e?”

    Theshockonhi
    sface.

    Lel
    olooksatme,
    shedoesn’
    tknowhowt
    oanswerhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Yes,
    she’
    srent
    ingt
    heext
    rabedr
    oom.
    ”

    Shi
    t!Thi
    smani
    sint
    imi
    dat
    ing.Thankf
    ull
    yLel
    oisunder
    standi
    ng.

    Wi
    thascowl
    onhi
    sface,
    hewat
    chesherwhi
    l
    eshewal
    ksupt
    hest
    air
    sti
    l
    lshei
    soutofsi
    ght
    .

    Xaba:
    “Yi
    ntombi
    yakho?
    ”(I
    sshey
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    )

    Thi
    smant
    hough,
    Ican’
    thi
    deawayf
    rom t
    his.
    Me:
    “Yebobaba.
    ”(Yesdad.
    )

    Hi
    sfr
    owngr
    ows.

    Xaba:
    “Mmhh!Ngi
    yabona.
    ”(Isee.
    )

    Hegoesqui
    etf
    orawhi
    l
    e,l
    osti
    nthought
    .

    Xaba:
    “UNomasont
    oyena?
    ”(WhataboutNomasont
    o?)

    Me:
    “Wenzeni
    baba?
    ”(Whatabouther
    ?)

    Xaba:“Angi
    yonaint
    angay
    akho,uzokhul
    umanami
    ngenhl
    oni
    pho.Si
    yezwana?
    ”(I
    ’
    m noty
    our
    fr
    iend,
    y ouwi
    lladdr
    essmewit
    hr espect
    .Ar
    ewecl
    ear
    ?)

    Lel
    o’spr
    esencei
    nthi
    shousehasputhi
    minaf
    oul
    mood.

    Me:
    “Yebobaba.
    ”(Yes,
    dad.
    )

    Xaba:
    “Mbuso?
    ”

    Me:
    “Baba?
    ”(Dad?
    )

    Xaba:“
    Howwi l
    lyouexpl
    ainal
    loft
    hist
    oNomasont
    o,herf
    atheral
    readyhashopest
    haty
    out
    wo
    wil
    lonedaygetmarr
    ied.
    ”

    Me:“
    Ican’
    tmarr
    yherbaba,youhaveseenhowspoi
    ledshei
    s.Al
    lshet
    alksabouti
    sshoppi
    ng
    andt
    henextt
    ri
    ptoEurope,
    wehav enothi
    ngincommon.”

    Heknows,
    he’
    sseenherandhowcl
    uel
    essshei
    s.

    Xaba:
    “Doy
    oul
    ovet
    hisgi
    rl
    ?”

    Toosoonf
    ort
    hatbut
    …

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    obel
    i
    eveso.
    ”

    Iknowshehol
    dsaspeci
    alpl
    acei
    nmyhear
    t.

    Xaba:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    ogetinv
    olvedi
    nthisMbuso,y
    ouhavemadeyourbedandy
    ouwi
    l
    lhav
    eto
    l
    ieonit
    .IknowNomasont
    o’sfat
    herwil
    lnott
    akethi
    sly
    ingdown.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lhandl
    ethem don’
    twor
    ry.
    ”

    Hef
    rowns,
    hedoesn’
    ttr
    ustme.Thi
    smanst
    il
    lseesmeasachi
    l
    d.

    RANDALL*

    Neocamet of
    etchmeatt
    hehospital,hehasn’
    tstoppedtalki
    ngsincewegotint
    hecar
    .Ihave
    gi
    venupcomplaini
    ng,
    hej
    ustdoesn’tcareatal
    l.Iseetheroyalguar
    dsout
    sideaswepull
    in,
    I‘
    m
    notsur
    pri
    sed.
    Neo:
    “Theki
    ngi
    sher
    e.”

    Het
    ell
    smewhatIal
    readyknow.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    ofacehi
    mri
    ghtnow.
    ”

    Isi
    gh.

    Neo:
    “Ent
    lek,
    jai
    vekeeng?
    ”(What
    ’st
    hepr
    obl
    em?
    )

    Me:
    “It
    ’sal
    ongst
    ory
    ,I’
    l
    ltel
    lyouabouti
    t.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Whenbozza?Iwantt
    oheari
    tnow.
    ”

    Me:
    “Asy
    oucansee,
    wehav
    evi
    sit
    ors.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ai
    ,s’
    fel
    ani
    .”(
    Whyar
    ewesuf
    fer
    ing?
    )

    Wemakeourwayt
    othehouse,
    Rav
    enandmyf
    atherar
    eint
    hel
    ounge.Chi
    omai
    sser
    vingt
    hem
    dr
    inks.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    pleaseexcuseus.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Awe,I
    ’m surether
    e’sj
    oll
    ofri
    celef
    tint
    heki
    tchen.Chi
    omai
    smybi
    gpi
    eceofmeatt
    her
    e?
    YouknowIdon’tpl
    aywithmyf ood.
    ”

    Chi
    omasmi
    l
    es,
    sheseemsski
    tt
    ish.

    Neowal
    ksawaybl
    abber
    ing.

    Segun:
    “Youhav
    eadaught
    erUze?
    ”

    Heint
    roducesasIappr
    oacht
    hem,
    Chi
    omal
    ooksatme.Shewant
    stoexpl
    ain.What
    ’st
    heuse?
    Thetr
    uthisout.

    Igest
    uret
    hatshel
    eav
    esusal
    one.

    Segun:
    “Youwentandhadachi
    l
    dUze?
    ”

    Her
    epeat
    shi
    msel
    f,Iset
    tl
    eonaoneseat
    err
    ightopposi
    teRav
    en.

    Me:
    “Iam ofage,
    asf
    arasIknow.
    ”

    Theangeronhi
    sfacei
    sev
    ident
    .

    Segun:
    “Whatabouty
    ourwi
    fe?
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatwi
    fe?
    ”

    Segun:
    “You’
    remar
    ri
    ed,
    incasey
    ouhav
    efor
    got
    ten.
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erseepeace.

    Me:
    “Donott
    ell
    met
    hat
    .”

    Igr
    unt
    .
    Rav
    en:
    “Randyhearhi
    m out
    .”

    Me:
    “Rav
    ,unl
    essy
    ouknowhowi
    tfeel
    stobemar
    ri
    edof
    fwi
    thouty
    ourconsent
    .Shutup.
    ”

    Ichast
    isehi
    m,hesi
    tsbackandcr
    osseshi
    slegov
    ert
    heot
    herwhi
    l
    ecar
    eful
    l
    yscr
    uti
    nizi
    ngme.

    Me:
    “Iwaswr
    ongedf
    atherandnotoncehav
    eIhear
    dyousayy
    ou’
    resor
    ry.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Sor
    ryf
    orwhatUze?Forf
    oll
    owi
    ngt
    radi
    ti
    on?
    ”

    Me:
    “Tr
    adi
    ti
    on,
    Iwant
    ednot
    hingt
    odowi
    th.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    sheadi
    ndi
    sappr
    oval
    .

    Segun:
    “Youcan’
    trunf
    rom y
    ourdest
    inyUze.
    ”

    St
    yles’
    wor
    dsr
    epl
    ayi
    nmymi
    nd.

    Ihav
    etospeakt
    omyf
    atherandonl
    yheknowst
    hepr
    iestwhoper
    for
    medt
    hecer
    emony
    .

    Me:“
    Ihav
    eapr oposi
    ti
    on,
    Iwi
    l
    ltakeov
    erf
    rom y
    oui
    fyoubr
    eakt
    hiscov
    enantandl
    etmechoose
    myownwife.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Ist
    her
    esomeone?
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    sbr
    owsashequest
    ionsme,
    hisf
    aci
    alexpr
    essi
    onsay
    stheansweri
    sal
    readyno.

    Me:
    “Yesf
    atherandIwoul
    dli
    ket
    omar
    ryher
    .”

    Hepausesf
    orawhi
    l
    eashebr
    oodsov
    ermywor
    ds,
    Rav
    engl
    ancesatme,
    hel
    ooksner
    vous.

    Segun:“Uze?Youcan’
    taskmet oabandonourcust
    oms, ourpeopl
    eexpectustol
    iv
    ebyt he
    book.Thisishowi
    t’sbeendone,thesamet
    hinghappenedwithyourmotherandme.Your
    grandparent
    sandthei
    rparent
    s.”

    Isi
    ghheav
    il
    y,he’
    snotl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ome.

    Me:“
    Clear
    ly,
    Iam wast
    ingmyt
    ime.Fat
    herIj
    ustt
    oldyouthatIam wi
    l
    li
    ngtotakeupt
    het
    hrone,
    j
    ust
    ,letmemarr
    ythewomanIwant.Br
    eakthi
    scovenantandsetmefree.
    ”

    Segun:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryson,
    it’
    snoti
    nmypowert
    odoso.
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    ret
    heki
    ng.
    ”

    I
    sheki
    ddi
    ngmer
    ightnow?

    Me:
    “Tr
    uebut
    ,theel
    der
    shav
    easayi
    nthi
    saswel
    l
    .”

    Rav
    en:
    “Fat
    heri
    tisy
    ouwhot
    akest
    hef
    inal
    deci
    sion.Can’
    tyoucompr
    omi
    sef
    ory
    ourson?
    ”

    Rav
    enj
    umpsi
    ntomyr
    escue.

    Rav
    en:
    “Woul
    dyour
    atherl
    osey
    oursonov
    ert
    hiswi
    fewedonotknowof
    ?”

    Thi
    sshoul
    dgi
    vehi
    m somet
    hingt
    othi
    nkabout
    .
    Segun:“
    Ihav
    espoken,
    thi
    swil
    lnotbedi
    scussedagai
    n.Uzey
    ouneedt
    opr
    epar
    e,wewi
    l
    lbe
    l
    eavingf
    orGhanai
    ntwoweeks.
    ”

    Hecommandsandwal ksawaydepr
    ivi
    ngmeachancetodisput
    e,andIam expectedtof
    oll
    ow
    hi
    scommandsj ustl
    i
    kethat
    ?Iref
    usetobewi
    thoutAmara,
    notevenSegunOkol i
    ewill
    keepme
    awayf
    rom her
    .

    Me:“
    DidyouseethatRav
    ?Thati
    sther
    easonIr
    an,
    itwi
    l
    lbeacol
    ddayi
    nhel
    lbef
    oreIl
    ett
    hat
    mancont
    rolme.”

    Rav
    en:
    “I’
    m sor
    rybr
    o.”

    Me:
    “Speakt
    oyourf
    atherRav
    enorhewi
    l
    lnev
    erseemeagai
    n.”

    Tobecont
    inued…
    56*

    *
    NOTFORSENSI
    TIVEREADERS*

    MKHI
    ZE*

    Todayweburymyy oungerbr
    otherMusa,
    thi
    sdayi
    sgl
    oomy
    .Myhousei
    sful
    lofpeopl
    eIdon’
    t
    know,hi
    sfr
    iendsandcoll
    eagues.

    Imustsay,
    mysleephasbeenpeacefulf
    orthepasttwoni
    ghts,
    Ican’
    tsaythesameabout
    Fr
    anco.He’
    sbeencal
    li
    ngmenonest op,say
    ingthere’
    ssomeoneinhi
    shotelroom,Idon’
    tknow
    whathel
    ptogethi
    m.Hedoesn’tbel
    ieveint
    radi
    ti
    onalheal
    i
    ng,hewil
    lj
    usthavet ogotochur
    ch.

    Peopl
    earegat
    her
    edi
    nthel
    i
    vingr
    oom,
    ther
    ewi
    l
    lbeabodyv
    iewi
    ngbef
    orewedepar
    ttot
    he
    cemeter
    y.

    Theuncl
    esareinfor
    medtoopenthecof
    fin,
    theroom f
    all
    sint
    opani
    candhor
    rorwhent
    hecof
    fi
    n
    i
    sfli
    ppedopen.It
    ’sempt
    y,Musa’
    sbodyisnotther
    e.

    Me:“
    Mthunzi,
    kwenzakal
    ani
    ?Si
    phi
    isi
    dumbusomf
    owet
    hu?
    ”(What
    ’sgoi
    ngonMt
    hunzi
    ?Wher
    eis
    mybrot
    her’
    sbody?”

    Iaskmybr
    otherwhoi
    sst
    andi
    ngnextt
    ome.

    Mt
    hunzi
    :“Angazi
    .”(
    Idon’
    tknow.
    )

    Me:
    “Ngabeucabangaukut
    hibenzei
    phut
    hae-
    mor
    tuar
    y?”(
    Doy
    out
    hinkt
    heymadeami
    stakeat
    mor
    tuar
    y?)

    Wehearascream f
    rom upst
    air
    s,Mt
    hunzif
    oll
    owsmeasIr
    unt
    ocheck.I
    tsoundsl
    i
    keMaDl
    ami
    ni,
    she’
    sst
    il
    lbl
    ari
    ngwhenwegett othetopoft
    hestai
    rs.

    Thescream i
    scomi ngfrom myyoungestson’
    sroom,wescur
    ryi
    n.Myancestorshav
    enot
    prepar
    edmef orthi
    s,theyhavef
    ail
    edme.Iam t r
    aumati
    sedbywhatwesee,Mthunzi
    rel
    easesa
    di
    sbeli
    evinggasp.

    Musa’sbodyisly
    ingonthebed,r
    ightnexttomytwel
    vey earol
    dsonLunga.Myheartracesf
    ast
    thatIst
    ruggl
    etobreat
    he,MaDlaminii
    stooshockedtotakeLunga.Ir
    ushtothebedandscoop
    him up,
    caref
    ulnottot
    ouchMusa’sbody .Ir
    eal
    i
    sethatLungaissti
    ffasIhol
    dhiminmyar ms.

    I
    nasecond, mybrothershav eoccupi edthebedroom, somear escr
    eamingwi ththeirhandson
    thei
    rheads.Somehav efallenont hei
    rknees,theireyespoppedoutoftheirsocketsasshock
    andhor r
    oriswri
    ttenont heirfaces.Onlythestrongonesappr oachthebody,theycov eri
    tup
    withacloth.Thi
    sisanabomi nati
    on,Isti
    l
    l hav
    east if
    fLungainmyar msandIcan’ tgraspwhy
    mypr eci
    oussoni snotbr eathing.
    He’
    snotmov
    ing.

    Me:
    “Lunga,
    mfanawami
    ,vul
    aamehl
    o.”(
    Lungamyson,
    openy
    ourey
    es.
    )

    Idon’
    twantt
    othinkt
    heworst
    ,MaDlami
    nii
    swai
    l
    ingr
    ightbesi
    deme,
    asshegl
    ancesatherson.
    Herface,
    car
    ryi
    nghorr
    orandpai
    n.

    Mt
    hunzi
    :“Yi
    nibaf
    o?Kwenzenj
    ani
    ?”(
    What
    ’swr
    ongbr
    other
    ?)

    Me:“
    Lungavukaboy
    ,boy.Ubabaukhonamanj
    e,v
    ukaMkhi
    zeomncane.
    ”(WakeupLunga,
    dad
    i
    sherenow.Wakeupli
    tt
    leMkhize.
    )

    Myhear
    thasn’
    tst
    oppedbeat
    ingf
    astandIf
    eel
    itbr
    eaki
    ngi
    npi
    eces.

    MaDl
    ami
    ni:
    “Hay
    i,i
    ndodanay
    ami
    .”(
    No,
    myson.
    )

    Shescr
    eams,
    car
    ryi
    ngherhandsonherhead.

    Ipl
    acehim downandperform CPRonhimt onoavai
    l
    ,theroom f
    all
    sint
    oloudcriesof
    l
    amentat
    ion.Mysoni sdead,i
    t’
    sunexpl
    ainabl
    eandIcan’
    tseem tocomprehendwhatthecour
    se
    ofi
    tmightbe.Ifal
    lbackonmybut t
    ,mywat er
    yeyestr
    ansf
    ixedonmyson' sl
    ifel
    essbody
    .
    MaDlamini
    noticesmydefeat,
    shescowlsatme.

    MaDl
    amini
    :“Babawenzani
    ?ULungausal
    ele,
    mvuse.
    ”(Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngmyhusband?Lunga
    i
    ssti
    l
    lsl
    eepi
    ng,wakehim up.
    )

    Shepl
    eadsasshescr
    eamsatme,
    Ishakemyheadi
    ndef
    eat
    .

    Me:
    “Usi
    shi
    yi
    leMaDl
    ami
    ni.Usi
    shi
    yi
    leumf
    anawet
    hu.
    ”(He’
    sgone,
    ourboyi
    sgone.
    ”

    Ihol
    dmyt
    ear
    sbackasIbr
    eakt
    hisnewst
    oher
    .

    MaDlamini
    :“Hay
    i,hayi
    .Nkul
    unkul
    ungenzeni
    ukut
    hiuzongi
    j
    ezi
    sakanj
    ena?
    ”(Godwhathav
    eI
    donethaty
    ouwillpuni
    shmel i
    kethi
    s?)

    Shescr
    eamsl
    i
    keshei
    slosi
    nghermi
    nd,
    mybr
    otherMsi
    zit
    ri
    est
    ohol
    dherbut
    ,she’
    sunset
    tl
    ed.

    Msi
    zi
    :“Si
    sincese.
    ”(Sor
    ry,
    sis.
    )

    Hegi
    vesup.

    Mt
    hunzi
    :“Baf
    ohhay
    ikanj
    ena.Wenzeni
    baf
    o?”(
    Notl
    i
    ket
    his.Whathav
    eyoudonebr
    other
    ?)

    I
    ’m swampedbysomuchangert
    hatIcan’
    tevenspeak,
    I’
    m onlyabl
    etogl
    areatmyson'
    s
    minuscul
    ebody
    .Hel
    ookssopeacef
    ul,i
    tseemsli
    kehewi l
    lopenhisey
    es.

    Msi
    zi
    :“Ukhul
    umangani
    baf
    o?”(
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngaboutbr
    other
    ?)

    Mthunzi
    :“Ngamtshel
    aukuthiakahlukanenal
    omfana.Bhekamanj
    e,bhekakwenzekeni
    .”(
    Itol
    d
    hi
    mt ostayawayfrom t
    hatboy,lookwhathashappenednow.)

    Onl
    ynowithi
    tsme,every
    thi
    ngthathasbeenhappening,i
    sbecauseofRandall
    ’sdeath.Iki
    ll
    ed
    anOkol
    i
    eandbroughtthi
    stur
    moiluponmyf ami
    ly.Ispil
    l
    edtheirbl
    oodandthiscursewillf
    oll
    ow
    meandmygenerat
    iontocome.IhadwarnedMusaandFr anco,It
    oldt
    hem nottotouchan
    Okol
    i
    e.Howam Igoi
    ngt
    ofi
    xthi
    snow?

    Funani
    :“Ushoukut
    hikungenxay
    alokho?
    ”(Doy
    oumeani
    t’
    sbecauseoft
    hat
    ?)

    Mt
    hunzi
    :“Yi
    nieny
    eokungabay
    iyo?
    ”(Whatel
    secoul
    ditbe?
    )

    Theydebat
    eagainstthemsel
    ves,thecommot i
    oninthi
    sr oom isgiv
    ingmeaheadache.
    MaDlamini
    hasn’tst
    oppedwaili
    ng, MaSibi
    yawalksi
    ntother oom wit
    hZwelethu.Shegrasps
    whathashappenedandimmedi atel
    ytakesasheetandcov ersLunga,MaDlaminiscr
    eams
    l
    ouderassheseeshersoncov eredwithaclot
    h.

    Zwel
    ethu:
    “Mamawenzani
    ,nguLungal
    o?”(
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngmom?Thi
    sisLunga.
    )

    Theshockandpai
    ninhi
    svoi
    cebr
    eaksmyhear
    t.

    MaSi
    biy
    a:“
    Uhambi
    l
    euLungawet
    humf
    anawami
    .”(
    OurLungai
    sgonemyboy
    .)

    Zwel
    ethu:
    “NoLungano.
    ”

    Hey ell
    sashedr opstohiskneesinfrontofLunga’
    sbodyandcri
    esoutloud.Hiscri
    esev okeso
    muchpai nineveryone'
    sheart
    sandt heroom fal
    lsi
    ntol
    oudsobsandsniffs,
    it'
    sreal
    ,mysoni s
    dead.MaDl amini
    ’scri
    estur
    nintolaughs,weallgl
    anceatheri
    nastoni
    shment.She’slaughing
    wit
    ht earsstr
    eamingdownherf ace.

    Funani
    :“Manj
    e?”(
    Andnow?
    )

    Funani
    voi
    ces,
    baf
    fl
    edbyhersuddenout
    bur
    st.

    MaDlami
    nisit
    sfl
    atont
    hefl
    oor
    ,herlegsst
    ret
    chedforwar
    dandmul t
    ipl
    eloudcackl
    eser
    uptf
    rom
    hermout
    h.Itt
    akesawhi
    lef
    orever
    yoneintheroom t
    oreal
    iset
    hatshehaslosthermi
    nd.

    MaSi
    biy
    a:“
    MaDl
    ami
    niasambeuy
    ophumul
    akancane.
    ”(Let
    ’sgo,
    soy
    oucanr
    estal
    i
    ttl
    e.)

    MaDl
    ami
    ni:
    “Ungangi
    bambi
    .”(
    Don’
    ttouchme.
    )

    Shescr eamsatherinangerbefor
    etaki
    ngthatr
    oadoflaught
    eragain.Thi
    sisbeyondme,
    Iam
    theeldestofmyfiv
    ebr ot
    hersandIhavefai
    ledt
    hem.Theyareglar
    ingatmewi t
    hsomuch
    hatr
    edi nthei
    rey
    es,it’
    sbadenoughthatMusadiedonmywat ch.

    Zwelethugetsupenragedandrunsoutt hedoor ,nooneissaneenoughtorunafterhi


    m.There
    aretwodeadbodi esi
    nthisroom andarespect ablewomanwhohasl osthermind,duetoher
    son’sdemise.Thesoundofmour ningi
    sl ouderthananythi
    ngIhaveeverhear
    d,nowmyt hree
    wivesaretry
    ingtocalm MaDlaminibut
    ,shei shav i
    ngnoneofit
    .

    AMARA*

    Therei
    ssomuchl amentati
    oninthi
    shouse,i
    tfi
    rstbeganwit
    hawoman’ sscr
    eams.Mkhize’
    s
    brot
    hermusthavebeenlovedsomuch,Kaziwenttocheckwhatishappeni
    ng.Alt
    houghshe
    wastoldnott
    oleavetheroom,she’
    sadaredevi
    l.Thedoorswingsopen,
    shestr
    idesi
    n,herhand
    i
    sonherchestandshe’
    sbug-
    eyed.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Kazi
    :“Lungaj
    ustdi
    ed.
    ”

    Shesay
    sincr
    edul
    ousl
    y.

    Me:
    “Lunga?
    ”

    Ihav
    enocl
    uewhohei
    s.

    Kazi
    :“He’
    sMkhi
    ze’
    sson,
    hewasonl
    ytwel
    veandhi
    sli
    fehadbar
    elyst
    art
    ed.
    ”

    Sher
    esponds,
    Ithi
    nkshehadbui
    l
    taf
    ri
    endshi
    pwi
    tht
    hisboy
    .

    Me:
    “OhmyGod.Whathappened?
    ”

    Shesi
    tsont
    hebed,
    faci
    ngme.

    Kazi:“
    I’
    m notsur
    eaboutthedet
    ail
    s,Zwel
    ethutol
    dmet
    his.Poorboy
    ,her
    anoutoft
    hehouse
    fur
    ious.Ihopehedoesn’
    tdoanyt
    hingst
    upid.
    ”

    Ican’
    tev
    encompr
    ehendwhathi
    smot
    hermustbef
    eel
    i
    ng.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sur
    eheneedst
    imeal
    one.
    ”

    Shenodsandwesl
    i
    dei
    ntoawav
    eofsi
    l
    ence.

    Kazi:
    “Oh,Ifor
    gott
    otel
    lyou.Randal
    ltext
    ed,
    hesai
    dhewi
    l
    lcal
    lsoonandIshoul
    dmakesur
    e
    thatI
    ’m ar
    oundyouwhenhedoes.”

    Myhear
    tjumpst
    omyt
    hroatatt
    hement
    ionofhi
    sname,
    feel
    i
    ngheatt
    hreat
    eni
    ngmycheeks,
    I
    l
    ookaway.

    Kazi
    :“You’
    rebl
    ushi
    ng?
    ”

    Shet
    easesandIr
    oll
    myey
    esather
    .

    Me:
    “NoI
    ’
    m not
    .”

    Imut
    ter
    .

    Kazi
    :“You’
    recut
    e.”

    Shelaughs,
    herphoneri
    ngsandIinst
    ant
    lybecomeappr
    ehensi
    ve.Shesmi
    l
    es,
    swi
    pest
    hegr
    een
    but
    tonandhandsmet hephone.

    Kazi
    :“Khul
    umanomunt
    uwakho.
    ”(Speakt
    oyourper
    son.
    )

    Shelaughsandambl
    est
    othedoor
    ,I’
    m suddenl
    ydumbst
    ruck.Ihav
    en’
    tspokent
    ohi
    m si
    ncet
    hat
    dayhecall
    ed.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hel
    l
    o?”
    Myhear
    tdoest
    hatt
    hingagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Mehemma.Howar
    eyou?
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    itf
    eel
    sli
    keIwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    eav
    ethi
    spl
    ace.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    Randal
    l:
    “Icanonl
    yimaginehowy oufeel
    ,i
    fIcoul
    d,Iwouldli
    ter
    all
    ywalkinthereandtakey
    ou
    withme.ThatmanisdangerousAmaraandwehav etotreadcaref
    ull
    y,Ican’
    tbecarel
    esswit
    h
    you.Hemighthur
    tyou,seei
    ngthathe’
    sbeingdef
    eated.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iunder
    stand.Whydi
    dn’
    tyoucal
    lyest
    erday
    ?”

    Idon’
    tknowhowt
    hatescapedmymout
    h.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youwer
    ewai
    ti
    ngf
    ormycal
    l
    ?”

    Hesoundsconfused,t
    helastt
    imewewer
    eint
    hesamer
    oom t
    oget
    her
    .Iwant
    ednot
    hingt
    odo
    wi
    thhim but
    ,nowallIwantishi
    m.

    I
    ’
    m sur
    eaboutonet
    hingt
    hough,
    Imi
    sshear
    inghi
    svoi
    ce.

    Randal
    l:
    “Ipr
    omi
    sey
    out
    hatt
    hist
    imenextweek,
    youwi
    l
    lbewi
    thmeandIwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    ety
    oul
    eav
    e
    myside.
    ”

    Me:
    “Can’
    tyoucomesoonerRandal
    l
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a?Di
    dthatmant
    ouchy
    ou?Iswear
    ,Iwi
    l
    l…”

    Me:
    “No,
    ”

    It
    hinkIsentof
    fthewr
    ongmessagewhenIpl
    eadedf
    ormyr
    escue.

    Hebr
    eat
    hesoutasi
    ghofr
    eli
    ef.

    Randal
    l:“
    Iwil
    lmakeri
    ght
    ,ever
    ybadt hi
    ngIdidt
    oyou,
    we’regoi
    ngtost
    artoverandIwi
    l
    lgiv
    e
    youthebestofme.Youwon’
    teverhavetoshedat
    earagainmehemma, asl
    ongasIam wit
    h
    you.
    ”(Myqueen.)

    If
    eel
    agr
    eatundul
    ati
    onofshi
    ver
    sgot
    hroughmybodyashi
    spr
    omi
    segi
    vesmehope.

    Me:
    “Whenwi
    l
    lyoucome?
    ”

    Ican’
    twai
    tanyl
    onger
    ,theneedt
    oseehi
    misout
    growi
    ngme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Li
    keIsai
    d,weneedt
    otr
    eadcar
    eful
    l
    y.Soonmehemma,
    don’
    tgr
    owwear
    y.”(
    Myqueen.
    )

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Ihav
    enot
    hingel
    set
    osay
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    onag.

    Randal
    l
    :“Doy
    ouknowt
    hisi
    sthemostwehav
    esai
    dtoeachot
    hersi
    ncewemet
    .”
    He’
    sdecl
    ares.

    Wedi
    dn’
    tnecessar
    il
    ymeet
    ,Iwasbr
    oughtt
    ohi
    m.

    Me:
    “Iti
    s.”

    Nowt
    hathesay
    sit
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Ican’
    twai
    ttohav
    eyouwi
    thmeAmar
    a,not
    hingseemsr
    ightwi
    thouty
    ou.
    ”

    Hepour
    shishear
    toutandIwantt
    odot
    hesamebut
    ,I’
    mtooent
    hral
    l
    edbyal
    ltheseemot
    ions.I
    ogl
    eatKazi
    ,shewinksatme.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    twai
    ttoo.
    ”

    Kazi
    :“Hur
    ryupgi
    rl
    ,someonemi
    ghtwal
    kin.
    ”

    Shewar
    ns.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    etogonowbef
    orehecomesback.
    ”

    Hegoesqui
    etf
    orami
    nut
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    swi
    l
    lendsoon,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.Thatmanwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    ayhi
    sey
    esony
    ouagai
    n.”

    Hegr
    unt
    s,hi
    smooddev
    iat
    esasmywor
    dsmakehi
    m di
    sconsol
    ateandIcanunder
    standwhy
    .

    Me:
    “By
    e.”

    Imut
    tersadl
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Notby
    e,seey
    ousoonmehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Thephonegoesdead,
    hedi
    dn’
    tev
    enhesi
    tat
    etodr
    opi
    t.

    KHETHU*

    SinceStyl
    esisatthehospit
    al,Imovedinwi thmygrandmother.Ihaven’
    tgivenherthelet
    teryet
    ,
    I
    ’m afr
    aidthati
    tscontent
    smi ghtharm herhealt
    h.Mbongeniadv i
    sedmet hatIshouldgiv
    eitto
    her,i
    tmightbesomethingimpor t
    ant.Iaskedhimtocomeov erjustincaseImi ghtneedhelp
    withconsoli
    ngher.Hegotherethirt
    ymi nutesagoandIst
    il
    lhav en’
    tdoneit.

    MygrandmotherknowsaboutTat
    a’sar
    restbut
    ,she’
    snoti
    nfor
    medaboutt
    heful
    lst
    ory
    .She
    pr
    obablyt
    hinkshewasspeedingorsomethi
    ng,t
    hankGodshedoesn’
    twat
    chTV.

    We’
    resi
    tt
    ingi
    nthel
    i
    vingr
    oom,
    chat
    ti
    ngt
    hedayaway
    .

    Gr
    anny
    :“You’
    renotwor
    kingt
    odayMbo?
    ”

    Mbongeni:
    “Ngi
    yasebenzagogo,
    Ijustwant
    edt
    ovi
    sity
    ou.Imissedmybeauti
    ful
    grandmot
    her
    .
    Doestat
    aknowhowl uckyheist
    obemar ri
    edt
    oabeauti
    ful
    womanl i
    keyou?
    ”
    Shel
    aughs.

    Gr
    anny
    :“Ungadl
    ali
    ngami
    wenaMbongeni
    .”(
    Don’
    tpl
    aywi
    thme.
    )

    She’
    sbl
    ushi
    ng,
    Idi
    dn’
    tknowol
    dpeopl
    ebl
    ush.

    Mbongeni
    :“Hawu,
    angi
    dlal
    igogo,
    iqi
    nisonj
    ena.
    ”(I
    ’
    m notpl
    ayi
    nggr
    andmot
    her
    ,it
    ’st
    het
    rut
    h.)

    Mbongeni
    looksatmeandgest
    urest
    hatIshoul
    dgoahead.

    Me:
    “Gogo?
    ”(Gr
    andmot
    her
    .)

    Ihandhert
    hewhi
    teenv
    elope,
    shet
    akesi
    t.

    Gr
    anny
    :“Yi
    nil
    ena?
    ”(What
    ’st
    his?
    )

    Me:
    “Yi
    ncwadi
    ,ev
    elakut
    ata.
    ”(I
    t’
    sal
    ett
    erf
    rom gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Gogo:“
    Ohmychi
    l
    d,angi
    senawoamehl
    o.Howam Igoi
    ngt
    oreadt
    his?
    ”(Ican’
    tseecl
    ear
    ly
    anymor
    e.)

    Shegrabsherr
    eadinggl
    assesandputsthem on,
    Mbongeni
    andIwatchherasshet
    akesher
    ti
    met osear
    cheachword.SheisaneducatedwomanandI’
    m pr
    ett
    ysureshecanst
    il
    lseewi
    th
    thosegl
    asseson.

    I
    ’
    m sounset
    tl
    ed,
    Ican’
    twai
    ttof
    indoutwhati
    swr
    it
    tent
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “Whatdoesi
    tsay
    ?”

    Iaskanxi
    ousl
    y,Mbongenil
    ooksatmeandIroll
    myey esathi
    m.Mygr andmother’
    sface
    changest
    osadnessandtearsst
    reakdownherface.Igetupalmosti
    mmedi at
    ely,t
    hiscal
    m
    womanwi l
    lnotr
    evealany
    thi
    ng.Shetr
    iest
    osnatchthelett
    erasIgrabitf
    rom herhold.

    Gr
    anny
    :“OhKhet
    humychi
    l
    d,don’
    treadt
    hatpl
    ease.
    ”

    Shepl
    eadsi
    nadef
    eat
    edt
    one,
    Ileerathert
    henbackatt
    hel
    ett
    er.

    Me:
    “Whygogo?
    ”

    Gr
    anny
    :“Ngi
    yacel
    anganey
    ami
    .”(
    Pleasemychi
    l
    d.)

    Shebeseeches,
    car
    ryi
    ngal
    ookofwor
    ry.

    Thi
    smakesmemor
    ecur
    ious.Whati
    swr
    it
    teni
    nthi
    slet
    tert
    hathasherdi
    str
    essedl
    i
    ket
    his?

    Mama

    First
    lyIwanttothankyouforbei
    ngthebestpar
    tneranymancanev eraskfor
    .Mybestday
    s
    werespentbyy oursi
    de,y
    oulovedmeandgav emet herespectandposi
    ti
    onIdeser
    vedasyour
    husband.Idi
    sgracedyoumkami andfai
    l
    edy oui
    nmor eway sthanone.
    Ihaveademon, It
    ri
    edtofighti
    tbut,t
    hisevil
    li
    vesinmeandi t
    ’satt
    achedtoeverycel
    li
    nmy
    body .Pl
    easepleadNobayeniforme,askhertof or
    giv
    eme.Shel i
    stenstoyou,
    Ihavesinned
    againsther,
    againstyouandagainstGod.Ididthemostdespi
    cablethingafat
    hercandot ohi
    s
    chi
    ld.Ihurtourbaby.Shewasonl yei
    ghteenwhenIov er
    poweredher.

    Khet
    hukuthul
    aist
    heresul
    toft
    hatmonstr
    ousact,
    askhert
    ofor
    givemeaswell
    .Bytheti
    meyou
    gett
    hisl
    etter
    ,Iwi
    l
    lbewithmyancest
    ors,
    it’
    sti
    meIover
    powert
    hisdemonandtheonl
    ywayi
    sto
    endmylif
    e.

    Al
    so,
    Icannotf
    acet
    hewor
    ldaf
    tert
    hisscandal
    .

    Iam tooshamedmkami,
    ngi
    xol
    elest
    handwasami
    .Uhambol
    wami
    luphel
    elal
    apha.Angi
    sakwazi
    ukuqhubekaphambi
    l
    i.

    (
    For
    giv
    ememyl
    ove,
    myj
    our
    neyendsher
    e,Icannotcont
    inuef
    orwar
    d.)

    Baba.

    I
    tfeelsl
    ikeav ol
    canojusteruptedaroundme,myheadspinsasIt r
    yt ograspever
    ythingIjust
    r
    ead.Iglanceatmygr andmot her
    ,herheadi
    sbowed.Ican’treal
    l
    yt el
    lwhatshe’
    sfeeling,Irun
    myey estoMbongeni who’sfrowningatmeinconf
    usi
    on.Ir eadthelett
    eragai
    n,may beIreadit
    wrong.Everywordissti
    llt
    hesame.

    No,t
    hiscannotbepossibl
    e,t
    hisexpl
    ainsNobay
    eni
    ’
    shatr
    edtowardsme.It
    ’shi
    sfaul
    tthatIgr
    ew
    upwit
    houtmymot her.Ist
    aggerbackasmykneesgiv
    euponmeandt hrowmeont hefloor
    .
    Mbongenirushest
    ome, hetr
    iestohelpmeupbut,
    Ipushhi
    m off
    .

    Gr
    anny
    :“Thet
    hel
    elanganey
    ami
    ,fi
    ndi
    tiny
    ourhear
    ttof
    orgi
    vey
    ourf
    ather
    .”(
    For
    giv
    emychi
    l
    d.)

    Di
    dshej
    ustsaymyf
    ather
    ?

    Iam l
    i
    vingi
    nadr eam,
    someonehast
    owakemeup.Iam tooshockedandangr
    ytoshedt
    ear
    s.
    Thedooropens,
    Nobayeni
    andmyfat
    herwal
    kin.Heseesmeont hefl
    oorwi
    tht
    hisl
    ett
    eri
    nmy
    handandfl
    ashestome.

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hu?Whathappened?
    ”

    Hesquatsbefor
    emeandgr absthel
    etter
    ,ashesuspect
    sthereasonbehi
    ndmyshock,Ist
    udy
    hisfacewhi
    lehereadsi
    t.Heknew,i
    t’
    swr i
    tt
    enal
    loverhi
    sface.Hecarr
    iesal
    ookofpi
    tywhenhe
    rai
    seshisey
    estoglanceatme.

    Dad:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryangel
    ,youwer
    enotsupposedt
    ofi
    ndoutt
    hisway
    .”

    Onl
    ynowIf
    eel
    myt
    ear
    sbui
    l
    dup,
    heenf
    oldsmei
    nhi
    sar
    msasIsobl
    i
    keachi
    l
    d.

    Hisvoi
    ceaggr
    avat
    esmer i
    ghtnow,
    thesepeopl
    ehavel
    iedtomemywholeli
    fe.Nooneev
    en
    caredt
    otel
    lmethetr
    uth,
    Ipushmyfatherawayandbr
    ingmysel
    fupf
    rom t
    hefloor
    .
    Me:
    “Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    me?
    ”

    Iaskhi
    m,hecan’
    tlooki
    ntomyey
    es.

    Me:
    “Youl
    i
    edt
    omedad,
    youal
    ll
    iedt
    ome.Ihav
    ebeenl
    i
    vingal
    i
    eal
    lmyl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Ican’
    tsay
    ,somet
    hingi
    nthatl
    ett
    erhasmadeugogoandKhet
    huv
    eryupset
    .”

    Mbongeni
    expl
    ains.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Al
    ett
    erf
    rom who?
    ”

    Shesnatchesthepi
    eceofnot
    efr
    om myfat
    herandreadsi
    t,t
    her
    eisnoexpr
    essi
    ononherface,
    onl
    ycoldness.Shecar
    ri
    essomuchhat
    einherhear
    tandIknowshewil
    lneverf
    orgi
    vehi
    m.

    Shegoesqui
    etforawhi
    l
    ebeforecl
    ickinghert
    ongue,
    I’mthi
    nki
    ngshewil
    lconsol
    emebut
    ,her
    eyeshav
    en’
    ttast
    edmey et
    .Sheist
    ryingsohardtoavoi
    dlooki
    ngatme.

    Sheseatsnexttograndmotherwholooksl
    ikeshehasgivenuponl
    i
    fe.Iknowhowmuchshe
    respect
    edmygr andfat
    her
    ,shelit
    eral
    l
    yworshipedt
    hegroundhewal
    kedon.Thesepeopl
    ehav
    e
    beenmar r
    iedf
    orov erf
    ort
    yy ear
    s.

    Nobayeni
    :“Mom I
    ’
    m sorr
    ythatyourhusbandwasacowar
    d,hef
    eltt
    hatsui
    cidewast
    heonl
    yway
    out
    ,inst
    eadofowninguptohi
    smi st
    akes.”

    Whati
    sshesay
    ing?Il
    ookatmyf
    ather
    .

    Dad:
    “Tat
    awasf
    oundhangi
    ngi
    nhi
    scel
    lthi
    smor
    ning.
    ”

    Myhear
    tdr
    ops.

    Me:
    “Dad?
    ”

    Iwhi
    spert
    hewor
    dsout
    .

    Dad:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryKhet
    hu,
    I’
    m sor
    ryf
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ngangel
    .”

    Itdoesn’
    tmakeitanybet
    ter
    ,mytearstakeadv
    ant
    ageoft hi
    ssi
    tuat
    ionast
    heypar
    adedownmy
    cheeks.HowdoIbegintomournforthemanwhov i
    olat
    edmymot her?Al
    so,
    howdoIfor
    gett
    he
    l
    ov ehehasshownmemywhol elif
    e?

    Iwhizzt
    omygr
    andmot
    her
    ’ssi
    de,
    shel
    ooksemot
    ionl
    ess.One,
    woul
    dthi
    nkt
    hatsheexpect
    ed
    t
    his.

    Me:
    “Gogo?
    ”(Gr
    andmot
    her
    )

    Shet
    urnsandl
    ooksi
    ntomyt
    ear
    yey
    es,
    herhandf
    li
    est
    omycheekandshegent
    lycupsi
    t.

    Gr
    anny
    :“You’
    reast
    rongwomanKhet
    hu,
    youwi
    l
    lov
    ercomeal
    loft
    his.
    ”

    Hert
    enaci
    oust
    ear
    sonl
    ydeci
    det
    oshowupnow.Iwi
    pet
    hem away
    .

    Gr
    anny
    :“Iam t
    ir
    edmychi
    l
    d,t
    akemet
    omyr
    oom.Ineedt
    orest
    ,wewi
    l
    ltal
    kwhenIwakeup.
    ”
    Shedecl
    aressof
    tl
    y,myhear
    tbr
    eaks,
    seei
    ngherl
    i
    ket
    his.

    Tobecont
    inued…

    57*

    NOMBULELO*

    Thismanwant smet ohav


    edinnerwit
    hhim andhisparents,
    it’
    stoosoonifyouaskme.Isaw
    Namhlaagai nandi
    t’
    sdeci
    ded,thewomanhat esme.Mbusoexpl ai
    nedthatt
    heyoncehada
    thi
    ng,sheclearl
    yst
    il
    lhasf
    eeli
    ngsforhi
    m.IpityherthoughbecauseIam notwalki
    ngawayfr
    om
    thi
    sman, Ican’
    trememberthel
    astti
    meIwast hi
    shappy.

    Iam abl
    etogothroughadaywit
    houtt
    hinkingaboutZuma,Imi
    ghtst
    il
    lbebrokenandhav
    etrust
    i
    ssuesbut,
    Mbusoi shel
    pingmeheal
    .Wor khasbeenhecti
    cbut
    ,Il
    oveit
    .IfAmarawashere,
    she
    wouldbeproudofme.

    Ij
    ustf
    ini
    shedmyr
    oundsandI
    ’
    mreadyt
    ogo,
    hesai
    dhe’
    sfet
    chi
    ngmeaf
    terwor
    k.

    He’
    snother
    eyetso,
    Iwai
    tforhi
    m out
    side.

    “
    Nombul
    elo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Mal
    umeJonas?
    ”(Uncl
    e.)

    Iam shockedt
    oseehi
    m her
    e,het
    akesmei
    ntoahug.

    Jonas:
    “You’
    rehi
    dingher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Ij
    ustst
    art
    edwor
    kingher
    e.”

    Jonas:
    “Lel
    o,y
    ousuf
    fer
    edwhi
    l
    eyourf
    atheri
    sal
    i
    ve.Whydi
    dn’
    tyoucal
    lme?Iwoul
    d’v
    ecomet
    o
    you.
    ”

    Me:“
    Idon’
    tknowmal
    ume,
    Iwasov
    erwhel
    medbyev
    ery
    thi
    ng.Idi
    dn’
    tknowmyf
    atherwoul
    dtur
    n
    onmeli
    kethat
    .”

    Jonas:
    “Yourf
    atherwaswr
    ongLel
    o,Iwantt
    oapol
    ogi
    seonhi
    sbehal
    f.
    ”

    Ihav
    enoanswerf
    ort
    hat
    ,Iam anor
    phanasf
    arasIknow.

    Jonas:
    “Wher
    edoy
    oul
    i
    ve?Comehome,
    wewi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofy
    ou.
    ”

    Ican’tgohome,notwhenIhavestar
    tedt
    oheal
    .Iwi
    l
    lberemindedofmyf
    ather
    ’shat
    red,
    Iknow
    uncleJonaswil
    lfor
    cehimtotakemebackbut,
    hewil
    lneverl
    ookatmewit
    hloveagai
    n.Ever
    y
    dayIwi l
    lber
    emindedofhi
    shatred.
    Me:
    “Ican’
    t,
    myf
    atherbannedmef
    rom t
    hehouse.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Iknowal
    loft
    hatLel
    o,l
    i
    keIsai
    d,Iam her
    enow.Iwi
    l
    lpr
    otecty
    ou.
    ”

    If
    indmy
    sel
    fint
    ear
    s,Iwi
    shmyf
    atherwasl
    i
    kehi
    m.HowIl
    ongt
    ohearhi
    m sayt
    hesewor
    dst
    o
    me.

    Jonas:“Yourfat
    heri
    smi
    ssi
    ngLel
    o,nooneknowswher
    ehei
    s.It
    hinkher
    anawayf
    rom hi
    s
    responsi
    bil
    it
    ies.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mom cal
    l
    edmeoncet
    otel
    lmet
    his.
    ”

    Ishownoi
    nter
    esti
    nthi
    smat
    ter
    .

    Jonas:
    “Youcancomehomenow.
    ”

    Iknowt
    hisi
    scomi
    ngf
    rom agoodpl
    ace.

    Me:“Youhavenoi deahowmuchIwant edtohearmyfatherutt


    erthesewordsmalume.I
    year
    nedforthem somucht hat
    ,it
    ’sal
    lIt
    houghtabout
    .Iam fi
    ndingmy sel
    fnowmal ume, Ihav
    ea
    j
    obandI’m pregnant.Anewl i
    feawait
    smeandIneedt ostandonmyownt wofeet
    ,ifIcome
    home,Iwil
    lonlystressal
    lthetimebecauseIknowthatIam notwantedthere.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Lelo,
    Ihavebeensear
    chingfory
    ou.Won’
    tyouatl
    eastcomehomef
    ormysake?
    Mhambi andPetuni
    aareal
    sothere.
    ”

    Me:“
    Malumeplease,
    don’
    tforceme.Iwi
    l
    lvi
    sithome,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.Onl
    ywhenIam r
    eadyt
    hough,
    myhear
    tisst
    il
    ltonetopi
    eces.”

    Iexpl
    aini
    nhopest
    hathewon’
    tcont
    inuet
    opush.

    Jonas:
    “Iunder
    stand,
    I’
    m gl
    adt
    hatIf
    oundy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Met
    oo.Howi
    smahol
    dingup?
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Jonas:
    “Thi
    ngsar
    ebadLel
    o,t
    hingsar
    ereal
    l
    ybad.
    ”

    Thi
    ngsgotbadwhenAmar
    awentmi
    ssi
    ng.

    Me:“
    AndAmar
    a?Di
    dshet
    ell
    youabouther
    ?She’
    smi
    ssi
    ngmal
    umeandnooneknowswher
    e
    shei
    s.”

    Hel
    ooksdi
    str
    aught
    .

    Jonas:
    “Ther
    eisnonewsy
    etbut
    ,wewi
    l
    lfi
    ndher
    .Tr
    ynott
    owor
    ryokay
    .”

    Inod,
    Ihopeshei
    snotdead.

    IseeMbuso’
    scarpullup,Lor
    d,Ihopehedoesn’
    tcomehere.UncleJonasisver
    yol
    dfashi
    oned,
    hewil
    lfl
    i
    p.Hewon’tcaretoaskwhohei s,
    thefactt
    hatIam bei
    ngfetchedbyamanisenough
    forhi
    mtospecul
    atethatheismyl ov
    er.
    I
    fIwasn’
    tinthesi
    tuat
    ionIam i
    nnow,
    hewoul
    d’v
    esai
    dsomet
    hingaboutmeget
    ti
    ngpr
    egnantat
    ayoungage.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    etogomal
    ume,
    myUberi
    sher
    e.”

    Het
    urnshi
    sheadt
    othepar
    kingl
    ot,
    Iwon’
    tev
    enpoi
    ntoutt
    hecarandIhopehewal
    ksawayf
    ir
    st.

    ThankGodMbusoi
    ssi
    tt
    ingi
    nthecar
    ,he’
    slooki
    ngatuscur
    iousl
    y.He’
    saqui
    ckt
    hinker
    ,Il
    i
    ke
    that
    .

    Jonas:
    “Okaymychi
    l
    d,dot
    akecar
    eofy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lmal
    ume.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Won’
    tyout
    akemynumber
    ?”

    Her
    eachesouthi
    shand,
    hewant
    smyphone.Ifi
    ddl
    einmybag,andhandi
    ttohi
    m.Het y
    pesin
    t
    henumber,
    bidsmegoodby
    eandwal
    ksaway.Imarcht
    othecar,t
    hemomentheisoutofsi
    ght.

    STYLES*

    Sethuhasbeenkeepi
    ngmecompany,Iwoul
    d’v
    ediedofboredom i
    nthi
    shospi
    tal
    .Shecomesto
    checkonmeal mostal
    lthet
    imeandI
    ’
    m worri
    edthatmaybe,she’
    snegl
    ect
    ingherwor
    kjustt
    o
    takecar
    eofme.

    Sethu:“
    I’
    mt el
    l
    ingyou,
    mymot heristhefunni
    estpersonIknow.Thi
    soneti
    memysistercomes
    homecr yi
    ngbecauseherboy
    fri
    endcheatedonher .Shesai
    dandIquote‘
    hepr
    omisedme
    heavenandearth,
    ’mymotherrespondedbysayingUbaniowabonaeni
    kezwai
    zul
    unohlaba.
    ”
    (Whohav eyouseenbei
    nggivenheavenandearth?)

    Shev
    ent
    sint
    olaught
    er,
    Ican’
    thel
    pbutl
    aughal
    ong.

    Me:
    “NowI
    ’
    m conv
    inced,
    shei
    sfunny
    .”

    Set
    hu:
    “It
    oldy
    ou.
    ”

    Sheshakesherheadwhi
    l
    eponder
    ingonsomet
    hingonl
    ysheknows.

    Me:
    “Yourmot
    herseemsl
    i
    keaf
    unper
    sont
    obear
    ound.
    ”

    Set
    hu:“
    Sheisbut
    ,canbeannoyi
    ngsometi
    mes.Youknowwhatt heysay
    ,noonecangetony
    our
    ner
    vesl
    ikey
    ourmotherandtheper
    sonyou’
    redat
    ing.Youmusthavenoti
    cedi
    tri
    ght
    ?”

    Shel
    aughsatherownwor
    ds.

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    ddoany
    thi
    ngt
    ohav
    emymot
    herannoyme.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Ify
    ourmot
    heri
    snotannoy
    ingt
    hen,
    youar
    elucky
    .”

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tknow.
    ”
    Suddenl
    yherbusyey
    espauseonmi
    ne,
    she’
    str
    yingt
    ofi
    gur
    eoutwhatImeantbyt
    hisst
    atement
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Oh!Whydoy
    ousayso?
    ”

    Sher
    eveal
    shercur
    iosi
    ty.

    Me:
    “Mymot
    herdi
    ed.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Iam sosor
    ry.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sokay
    ,itwasal
    ongt
    imeago.Iwasf
    our
    ,shedi
    edgi
    vi
    ngbi
    rt
    htomysi
    ster
    .”

    Idon’
    tknowwhyIam openi
    ngupt
    oher
    ,If
    eel
    li
    keIcant
    ell
    herany
    thi
    ng.

    Set
    hu:
    “Youwer
    esoy
    oung.
    ”

    Me:“
    Atl
    eastIhadmemoriesofherf
    acebut
    ,mysist
    ernev
    ergottomeether.Herfat
    herwas
    ar
    oundt
    hough,hepl
    ayedbothrol
    esi
    nherli
    feandmadesureshedi
    dn’
    tlackanyt
    hing.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Herf
    ather
    ?”

    Me:
    “Yes,
    unf
    ort
    unat
    elymyf
    atherr
    anawayf
    rom hi
    sresponsi
    bil
    i
    tiesbef
    oreIwasev
    enbor
    n.”

    I
    tsti
    ll
    hur
    tstotal
    kaboutt
    his,
    rej
    ect
    ioni
    snotani
    cef
    eel
    i
    ng.Ev
    enatt
    hisage,
    Icr
    avef
    ort
    hel
    ove
    ofbot
    hparent
    s.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Shegi
    vesani
    mpr
    essi
    ont
    hatshedoesn’
    tknowwhatt
    osay
    .

    Me:“Mystepf
    atherdi
    edaf
    ewyear
    slater
    ,wewer etakent
    oanor
    phanage.Somehow,wewere
    nev
    erseparat
    ed.Shewasmyr
    easonforbreat
    hingandIwoul
    ddoanythi
    ngtoprot
    ecther
    .”

    Set
    hu:
    “Youwentt
    hroughsomuch,
    Ican’
    timagi
    nemyl
    i
    fewi
    thoutmypar
    ent
    s.”

    Me:
    “That
    ’sl
    i
    fe,
    ever
    yonegoest
    hrought
    ri
    alsandt
    ri
    bul
    ati
    onsandonl
    ythest
    rongestsur
    viv
    e.”

    Set
    hu:
    “Wher
    eisy
    oursi
    ster
    ?Ihav
    en’
    tseenherher
    eyet
    .”

    May
    bei
    t’
    sti
    mewedr
    opt
    his,
    remi
    nisci
    ngont
    hepastwi
    l
    lonl
    yev
    oket
    hepai
    nIhav
    ehi
    ddenaway
    .

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmeabouty
    ourpar
    ent
    s.Doy
    oust
    il
    ll
    iv
    ewi
    tht
    hem?Wher
    ear
    ethey
    ?”

    Herf
    acel
    i
    ght
    sup.

    Sethu:
    “No,
    Ili
    vealone.Myparentsl
    ivei
    nMer
    edalewit
    hmyt woy
    oungersi
    ster
    s,t
    her
    ear
    efour
    ofus.Mymothergracedmyfather’
    shomewi
    thfourgi
    rl
    s.”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esatt
    het
    hought
    .

    Me:
    “Thatmustbet
    oughf
    orhi
    m,sur
    roundedbyf
    ivewomen.
    ”

    It
    easeandshet
    hrowsherheadbackl
    aughi
    ng,
    it’
    sacut
    elaugh.

    Set
    hu:
    “Webul
    l
    yhi
    m,y
    ouknowhowus,
    womencanbe.
    ”
    Shej
    okes,
    smi
    l
    ing.

    Me:
    “Thepowery
    ouhol
    dov
    ermen?Yes,
    Ihav
    eexper
    iencedi
    t.
    ”

    Ir
    etor
    tcausi
    nghert
    ogi
    ggl
    eshy
    lyatmyr
    esponse.

    Sethu:“
    Wel
    l
    ,myf
    atheri
    sapr
    inci
    pal
    andmymot
    heri
    sat
    eacher
    .They
    ’vebeenmar
    ri
    edf
    or17
    years.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’sadmi
    rabl
    e.”

    Set
    hu:“
    Iti
    s,Idon’
    tthi
    nkther
    eisamanoutt
    her
    ewhol
    oveshi
    swi
    fet
    hewaymyf
    atherl
    ovest
    hat
    woman.She’
    sluckyandsheknows.
    ”

    Iseet
    hel
    oveshehasi
    nherey
    esf
    ort
    hem.

    Me:
    “Yousai
    dther
    ear
    efourofy
    ou?
    ”

    Shenods.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ihav
    eanel
    dersi
    ster
    ,uheav
    enandear
    th.
    ”

    Shel
    aughs,
    it’
    sador
    abl
    ethatshef
    indsher
    sel
    famusi
    ng.

    Sethu:
    “That’
    swhatwecal l
    herathome,she’
    sthi
    rt
    yandl i
    vesinPortEl
    i
    zabeth.If
    oll
    owed,f
    ive
    yearsl
    ater
    .Myparentstookabreakf
    orsixt
    eenyears,
    itwasjustustwoti
    ll
    theydecidedt
    hat,
    theywerenotcomplet
    eandneededtwomor ebrat
    s.”

    Sethuisreall
    yf unny
    ,shetal
    ksalott
    oo.ShecameacrossasshywhenIfi
    rstmether
    ,nowshe
    can’tst
    opt al
    king.Hershy
    nesstendstoseekat
    tent
    iononcei
    nawhile.

    Me:
    “Sot
    hebr
    atsar
    etwi
    ns?
    ”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Sethu:
    “No,t
    heyar
    etwoy
    ear
    sapar
    t.Ti
    mewasnotonmymot
    her
    'ssi
    de,
    menopausewas
    knocki
    ng.
    ”

    Ithi
    nkshespeakswi t
    houtthi
    nkingori
    sitbecauseshe’
    sanurseandisusedtobeingar
    ound
    peopleandconver
    singwiththem.ShecovershermouthwhenIlaughatherst
    atement.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Ital
    ktoomuchdon’
    tI?AndI
    ’
    mrev
    eal
    i
    ngmor
    ethanIshoul
    d.”

    Shewear
    sasof
    tli
    tt
    lef
    rown.

    Me:
    “Notatal
    l
    ,youar
    eabr
    eat
    hoff
    reshai
    rSet
    hu.
    ”

    Theshy
    nessIspokeof
    ,pushest
    hrough.

    Webothtur
    ntothedooratt
    hesoundofsomeonecl
    ear
    ingt
    hei
    rthr
    oat
    ,Randal
    lst
    ands
    embr
    acingaconfusedl
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Sethuj
    umpsupfr
    om t
    hechai
    rasi
    fshewasn’
    tsupposedt
    obesi
    tt
    ing,
    herf
    acef
    all
    sandher
    fi
    ngerf
    li
    est
    ohermouth.
    Randal
    l
    :“I
    sitsaf
    etocomei
    n?”

    Bast
    ard…

    Nor
    mal
    l
    yIwoul
    dlaughbut
    ,thepoorgi
    rll
    ooksner
    vous.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ihav
    ewor
    ktodo,
    excusemeMr
    .St
    yles.
    ”

    Sheannouncesandpouncesoutt
    hedoor
    ,Randal
    lgi
    vesmeal
    ookandIknowhe’
    saboutt
    osay
    somethi
    ng.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbuso:
    “Hel
    l
    ochubbycheeks.
    ”

    HegreetsasIj
    umpint
    hecarandpecksmyli
    ps,
    ifIwasal
    readyshowi
    ngIwoul
    dbeof
    fended.
    He’
    sluckyIhav
    en’
    tgai
    nedbabywei
    ghtyet
    .

    Me:
    “NowI
    ’
    m chubbycheeks?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Thecut
    estchubbycheeks,
    Ijustwantt
    osqueezet
    hem.
    ”

    Hesay
    sfl
    i
    ngi
    nghi
    shandt
    omycheek,
    Ishr
    ugi
    tof
    fandsul
    k.

    Mbuso:
    “It
    ’swor
    sewheny
    ou’
    resul
    ki
    ng,
    hav
    eyouseenany
    thi
    ngsocut
    einy
    ourl
    i
    fe?
    ”

    Heal
    way
    sgoesanext
    rami
    l
    etomakemesmi
    l
    eandI
    ’
    m gl
    eami
    ngl
    i
    keaf
    ool
    rightnow.

    Mbuso:
    “Yoh!
    !!Magwi
    nya.
    ”(Fatcakes.
    )

    Heexpr
    essesandIl
    aughathi
    sidi
    ocy
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Now,
    thewor
    ldseemsal
    otl
    i
    ght
    er.
    ”

    Hedecl
    ares,
    glanci
    ngatmewit
    hal
    ookonl
    yhecanexpl
    ain.Ionl
    yknowt
    hatIf
    eel
    ampl
    i
    fied
    whenheleer
    satmel i
    ket
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “Canwegonow,
    Trev
    orNoah?
    ”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    esathi
    m asIr
    ipost
    e.

    Hechor
    tl
    esandst
    art
    sthecar
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Whowast
    hat
    ?”

    Me:
    “Myuncl
    e,hewant
    smet
    ocomehome.
    ”

    Hegi
    vesmeabr
    iefl
    ook.

    Mbuso:
    “And?
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notr
    eady
    .”
    Heseemsabi
    trel
    i
    eved.

    Mbuso:
    “YouknowIwi
    l
    lsuppor
    tanydeci
    siony
    oumake,
    right
    ?”

    AndIam gr
    atef
    ulf
    ort
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “Yesandt
    hanky
    ou,
    forev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Mypol
    i
    tenesscauseshi
    mtof
    rown.

    Mbuso:
    “Itf
    eel
    swei
    rdwheny
    out
    hankme,
    IdowhatIdobecauseIcar
    eabouty
    ouandIwant
    yout
    obehappy.

    Me:
    “IknowandI
    ’
    m gl
    adt
    hatweshar
    eev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Hecl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Now,
    thaty
    out
    ouchedont
    hatsubj
    ect
    .Ther
    eissomet
    hingy
    ouneedt
    oknow.
    ”

    Thi
    sdoesn’
    tsoundgood.

    Me:
    “I’
    m al
    lear
    s.”

    Mbuso:
    “Ther
    e’sanex.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    tseet
    hiscomi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Namhl
    a?”

    Hemakesaf
    ace.

    Mbuso: “
    No, hernamei sNomasonto.Weactuall
    ydatedbackincol
    lege,i
    twasalongt erm
    rel
    ationship.Wet houghti
    twouldlastandwell
    ,sheknewmypar ent
    s,Iknewhers.Itcamet oa
    pointwher etheythoughtwewer egoingtogetmarr
    iedbut,webothwanteddi
    ff
    er entthi
    ngsin
    l
    ifeso, wewentoursepar ateways.”

    Idon’
    tknowwhyhe’
    stel
    l
    ingmet
    his,
    I’
    m uncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Mbuso:“
    Wepartedonagoodnotebut
    ,shehadatendencyofcomingbackandaski
    ngt
    hatwe
    t
    ryagai
    n.Sheev
    enwenttotheext
    entofaski
    ngherfat
    hertospeaktomyfather
    .”

    Ismel
    lpsy
    cho.

    Me:
    “That
    ’sal
    i
    ttl
    eext
    reme.
    ”

    Mbuso:“
    Iknow,Iam complet
    elyoverher.Ourpar
    ent
    sthougharest
    il
    li
    nthatrel
    ati
    onshi
    p,t
    hey
    wi
    llev
    entual
    l
    ygetoverit
    ,hopeful
    ly
    .Myf atheri
    sseei
    ngtheli
    ght
    ,hej
    ustneedstopullt
    heother
    s
    wi
    thhim.AsforNomasonto,sheneedshel p.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,shoul
    dIt
    aket
    hisasawar
    ningt
    hatt
    her
    ewi
    l
    lal
    way
    sbeacr
    azyex?
    ”

    Hegi
    vesmet
    hatbr
    iefgl
    anceagai
    n,Iam st
    il
    ltr
    yingt
    ofi
    gur
    eoutwhati
    tmeans.

    Mbuso:
    “Iwon’
    tletherany
    wher
    eneary
    ou.
    ”
    I
    t’
    snotl
    i
    kewe’
    real
    way
    stoget
    her
    .

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    Ihopet
    her
    ewon’
    tbeanyconf
    li
    cts.
    ”

    Mbuso:“Iheardmom sayshemov edtoCapeTown,therewon’tbeanyconf l


    ict
    s.Thi
    siswhyI
    wantyoutomeett heparent
    sasthewomaninmyl i
    fe,dadaccepteditthatday.I
    twasn’
    twhole
    heart
    edl
    ybut ,
    hewantsmet obehappy.Mom sti
    l
    lneedsal i
    tt
    lework,she’snotfondoftheway
    dati
    ngisconductedwit
    hinourgener
    ati
    on.
    ”

    Ipr
    ayshe’
    snotamonst
    eri
    n-l
    aw,
    Ihonest
    lydonothav
    ethest
    rengt
    hforbat
    tl
    es.

    Me:
    “CanwepassbyShopr
    it
    e,Iwantf
    ish.
    ”

    Enoughaboutt
    hecr
    azyex.

    Mbuso:
    “Fi
    sh?Youwantt
    ohav
    efi
    shf
    orsupper
    .”

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    ohav
    efi
    shnowt
    hat
    ,fr
    iedonef
    rom Shopr
    it
    e.”

    Mbuso:
    “Okay
    ,Gokuhasst
    art
    eddemandi
    ngIsee.
    ”

    Het
    eases.

    Me:“
    Mbuso,y
    ouwi
    l
    lfeel
    mywr
    athi
    fmychi
    l
    disbei
    ngt
    easedatschool
    becausehi
    sfat
    hercal
    l
    s
    hi
    m Goku.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksatmei
    ntent
    lyashest
    opsatat
    raf
    fi
    cli
    ght
    ,Ismashmyhandagai
    nstmymout
    h.

    Whatt
    hehel
    ldi
    dIj
    ustsay
    ?

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Imumbl
    e,wi
    thoutl
    ooki
    ngathi
    m.

    Hechor
    tl
    esaf
    teral
    ongsi
    l
    entmoment
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Gokuwi
    l
    lbet
    hemostpopul
    arki
    dinschool
    ,j
    ustbecausehi
    snamei
    sGoku.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs,
    I’
    m gl
    adhebr
    ushedof
    ftheawkwar
    dness.

    RANDALL*

    Me:
    “You’
    reabr
    eat
    hoff
    reshai
    r?”

    Hef
    rownsatme.

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    t.
    ”

    Hewar
    ns,
    Iwantt
    olaughbut
    ,Icur
    bit
    .

    Me:
    “Mr
    .St
    yles?
    ”
    Hesi
    ghsdeepl
    y.

    Whatdi
    dIj
    ustwal
    kint
    o?

    St
    yles:
    “Randy
    ,don’
    t.
    ”

    Me: “
    Hey,youshoul
    dbethanki
    ngmethatIwal
    kedi
    nandnot‘Sher
    lockHol
    mes’
    Khet
    hu.That
    gi
    rlshoul
    d’vebeenadet
    ecti
    ve,
    worki
    ngri
    ghtal
    ongherf
    ather
    .”

    Hel
    aughsatmysuggest
    ion.

    St
    yles:
    “That
    ’smygi
    rly
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngabout
    .”

    Iposi
    ti
    onmy
    sel
    font
    hechai
    r.

    Me:
    “Shoul
    dIsi
    ther
    eori
    sMi
    ssSet
    hucomi
    ngbackMr
    .St
    yles?
    ”

    Icl
    own,
    hechor
    tl
    es,
    giv
    ingmeawar
    ningl
    ook.

    St
    yles:
    “Fucky
    ouUze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Fucky
    out
    ooMr
    .St
    yles.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Cuthersomesl
    ack,
    thegi
    rli
    sshyokay
    .”

    Hespeaksf
    orher
    ,Ismel
    lsomet
    hingf
    ishyher
    e.

    Me:
    “What
    ’st
    hedeal
    wit
    hyout
    wo?
    ”

    Styl
    es:
    “Idonotknowwhaty
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngabouthence,
    Iam notj
    ust
    if
    yingy
    ourquest
    ionwi
    than
    answer.
    ”

    Her espondsbrushi
    ngmeof f,
    thi
    sisthesameStyl
    eswhodidn’
    tshar
    ehisl
    if
    ewi thanyone
    before.Heck,
    Iwasal sokepti
    nthedarkaboutt
    heprobl
    emshehadwi t
    hKhethu.It
    ’sagood
    thi
    ngIseet hr
    oughhim.

    Me:
    “Mdl
    uli
    gav
    ein.
    ”

    Ii
    ntr
    oducet
    hesadnews,
    apuckergr
    owsbet
    weenhi
    sey
    ebr
    ows.

    St
    yles:
    “JustwhatIwashopi
    ngf
    or,
    thebast
    ardwasn’
    tasst
    rongashemadet
    hewor
    ldbel
    i
    eve.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ir
    espect
    edthatman,
    til
    lyoutol
    dmewhathedi dt
    oKhet
    hu’
    smom andt
    hosel
    i
    ttl
    egi
    rl
    she
    mol
    est
    ed.Hedidn’
    tcomeacrossasapaedophi
    l
    e.”

    Styl
    es:“I
    t’
    snotl
    iket
    heywalkaroundwit
    hbannerswri
    tt
    enpaedophi
    l
    e,hewi
    llpayforhi
    ssi
    nsi
    n
    hel
    l.Ihopethef
    irei
    shotenough.Thenumberofgi
    rl
    swhosuffer
    edinhi
    shandsishugeman,
    I
    can’
    tevenimagi
    newhattheyaregoingthr
    ough.
    ”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dheev
    engett
    hem t
    osweart
    osi
    l
    ence?
    ”

    Sty
    les:“
    Probabl
    ythr
    eatenedtoki
    llt
    hem orthei
    rpar
    ent
    s,youknowhowinnocentki
    dsare.They
    bel
    ieveanyt
    hinganadultsay
    s.Thatbast
    ard,hewasafamousjudgeso,
    heusedhisfamet o
    l
    uret
    hem wi t
    ht hepret
    extofachil
    dren’
    sshow,amodellingcar
    eerandsomesi nging
    compet
    it
    ionwher ethewinnerwalksawaywithagreatamountofmoney .There’
    sast udi
    o
    wher
    ehef ulf
    il
    ledhissi
    ckdesires,
    hewouldtakeadvantageofthem andthendropthem off
    wher
    ehepi ckedthem orwhereverhefel
    twasokay.”

    St
    ylesi
    scl
    ear
    lyanger
    edbyal
    lthi
    s.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouf
    indoutany
    way
    ?”

    Styl
    es:“
    Neodidmostofthework,Ipol
    ishedi
    t.WhenIfoundoutthatMdlul
    iisKhethu’
    sfat
    her,
    I
    knewtherehadtobesomethi
    ngelseso,Idugdeeper.Whatsi
    ckbastardwouldrapehisown
    chi
    ld?Youwouldthi
    nkwhatshewentthroughwasn’tenough,
    shefell
    pregnantandbytheti
    me
    shefoundout,
    itwastool
    atetoabortt
    hebaby .

    Shewasf
    orcedt
    oli
    vewi
    tht
    her
    emi
    nderofwhatherf
    atherdi
    dtoher
    .

    I’
    m notbashingKhethuatall
    ,she’sanamazi ngwoman.ButRandy,thetraumaNobay enimust
    havegonet hrough,
    shecouldn’ttel
    lanyoneabouti
    tandshehadtosi tatthesametablewit
    h
    him ever
    ynightandpretendthateveryt
    hingwasokay.Meanwhil
    e,shewasdy i
    ngi
    nside,she
    couldn’
    treportther
    ape.Now, Iunderst
    andheranger.

    Shehadnoone, Mdl
    uli
    hadallt
    hemoneyi ntheworldbut
    ,di
    dn’
    tthinkhi
    schi
    ldneededt oseea
    psychologi
    st.Nobay
    eniisav
    icti
    minall
    oft hi
    s,sheneedshel
    p.Dladl
    ahasdoneagr eatjobi
    n
    keepinghersaneorshewould’
    vehav
    ecr ackedlongago.
    ”

    Me:
    “WhataboutKhet
    hu?Remembert
    hiswasaboutpr
    otect
    ingherf
    rom t
    het
    rut
    h.”

    St
    yles:
    “Protect
    ingKhet
    huwasthesameashandi
    ngt
    hosegi
    rl
    sov
    ert
    othatev
    ilman.Henev
    er
    would’
    vestopped,t
    hiswast
    heonlywayout
    .”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyougethi
    mtr
    ansf
    err
    edt
    oamaxi
    mum pr
    ison?
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Sty
    les:“
    Uze,
    I’
    m apeopl
    e’
    sper
    son.Imakef
    ri
    endswhi
    l
    eyou’
    renotbot
    her
    edt
    oev
    ensmi
    l
    eat
    anyone.
    ”

    Me:
    “So,
    I’
    m supposedt
    olaughatt
    hat
    ?”

    He’
    sani
    diot
    ,it
    ’spr
    ovenwhenhel
    aughsatmycomeback.

    St
    yles:
    “Toanswery
    ourquest
    ion,
    let
    ’sj
    ustsayt
    hemi
    nist
    erandIar
    eacquai
    ntances.
    ”

    Me:
    “YouknowKhet
    huwi
    l
    lneedy
    oumor
    ethanev
    ernow?
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    St
    yles:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    ohur ther
    ,somethi
    nghadtobedone.Icoul
    dn’
    tlett
    hosegi
    rl
    ssuf
    ferany
    l
    onger,t
    hei
    rheal
    i
    ngwi
    llbeginnowthathe’
    sgone.
    ”

    Me:
    “Any
    thi
    ngdonei
    nregar
    dst
    othat
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Yes,
    Ihadal
    adyf
    ri
    endofmi
    net
    akeov
    ert
    hiscase.She’
    sasoci
    alwor
    ker
    ,shewi
    l
    lvi
    sit
    t
    hef
    ami
    l
    iesandpr
    obabl
    ygett
    hegi
    rl
    stot
    alk.
    ”

    Me:
    “Letmeguess,
    youhadsomet
    hingt
    odowi
    tht
    heonewhocamef
    ort
    h?”

    Styl
    es:“
    Hermot herworksatthel
    ogi
    sti
    cs,
    shehadsai dsomet hi
    ngabouthowherdaught
    eri
    s
    al
    way slockedupinherroom.Shewasabubbly,t
    alkat
    ivegir
    l,ti
    l
    lonedayherdemeanour
    changed,shestar
    tedtal
    kingl
    essandsoci
    aldi
    stancedherselffr
    om t
    hefamil
    y.

    Hermar
    ksdr
    oppedandshepushedal
    lherf
    ri
    endsaway
    .

    Herdressi
    ngchanged,shewoul donl ywearclot
    hest hatcoveredupherbody.That
    ’swhenthe
    motherdecidedtoconf
    rontherbut ,shewouldbur sti
    ntotearseachti
    me.Thi st
    imeIal
    ready
    knewaboutMdl ul
    iandtheskeletonsi nhi
    scloset.Ispoketotheladyfr
    iend,wewenttothei
    r
    houseandthat’swhentheli
    tt
    legirlcameout ,aft
    ermuchr eassurancethough.

    Randall
    ,youshouldhaveseenherwhenshesawme.Poort hi
    ngwastrembli
    ngli
    kealeaf
    ,she
    bursti
    ntotearsandhidbehi
    ndhermot herwhoexplai
    nedthatanymal
    epresencefr
    eaksherout
    .
    Ihadtowai ti
    nthecarandbeli
    eveitornot,
    Iwassocl oset
    ogoingtoMdlul
    i’
    shouseandputa
    bull
    ett
    hroughhishead.MyloveforKhethucloggedme.”

    Myskinisf
    il
    ledwithgoosebumpsatt hement
    ionofthi
    s,myhear
    tbr
    eaksf
    ortheli
    tt
    legir
    l.I
    ’
    ma
    fat
    hermysel
    fandwoul dli
    ter
    all
    yki
    llf
    ormydaughter
    ,Ican’
    tev
    enimagi
    neanyt
    hingl
    ikethi
    s
    happeni
    ngtoher.Thethoughtofi
    tki
    ll
    sme.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tfat
    hom whatshemustbegoi
    ngt
    hrough.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“She’
    sget
    ti
    nghelpandsowi l
    ltheothergir
    ls,ift
    here’
    sanythi
    ngIcandot ostopthese
    paedophil
    esandmolester
    s,Iwoulddoit
    .Ihadasi steronceandwoul d’
    vepr
    otectedherfrom
    suchmenwi thmyli
    fe.Andthere’
    sourbeauti
    fulLi
    y ana,Isweart
    here’
    sabull
    etinmydr awerfor
    anyfuckerwhowil
    lmesswi thher
    .”

    Heexpr
    essest
    hroughgr
    eet
    edt
    eet
    h,Li
    yanai
    sluckyt
    ohav
    etwof
    ather
    s.

    Me:“
    Whydoy out
    hinkIhadJosephki
    ll
    edinpri
    son?Het ouchedherman,
    somet hingdiedi
    nme
    t
    hatni
    ghtIf
    oundherly
    ingonthefl
    oornakedandthatsonofabitchwasjustwatchingherl
    ikei
    t
    wasnor
    mal.
    ”

    Hecl
    ampshi
    steet
    hinanger
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Fact
    sbr
    uh,
    ify
    oudi
    dn’
    tdoi
    t,Iwoul
    d’v
    e.”

    Me:“Thosegir
    lsneedsomeonetostandupfort
    hem andI
    ’m gl
    ady
    ou’
    ret
    aki
    ngast
    and,
    Iknew
    youshould’
    vebeenadoctor
    .See,nooneknowsyouli
    keIdo.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsbut
    ,ther
    eissadnessi
    nit
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Khet
    humustbehur
    ti
    ngr
    ightnowandIam st
    ucki
    nthi
    sbed.
    ”

    Me:“You’r
    egoi
    nghomet omorr
    owandspeaki
    ngofgoi
    nghome,
    weneedt
    ost
    artwi
    tht
    hepl
    an
    ofgett
    ingAmaraoutoft
    here.
    ”
    St
    yles:
    “Yeah,
    Ihav
    eapl
    an.
    ”

    Thi
    ssay
    ingofhi
    swi
    l
    lnev
    ergr
    owol
    d.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yes,
    Mr.St
    yles.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Pi
    ssof
    f.
    ”

    Tobecont
    inued…
    58*

    MKHI
    ZE*

    Icoul
    dn’
    tproceedwit
    hthef
    uner
    al,Il
    ostall
    myst r
    engt
    h.Mybr
    otherstookover
    ,theyall
    went
    andIwasleftbehi
    ndwit
    hmysorrows.Ihavebeendri
    nki
    ngmysel
    fsil
    l
    yi nmyoffi
    ce,hopingt
    he
    painwi
    ll
    goaway .

    Ther
    e’saknock,
    Sikawal
    ksi
    n.

    Me:
    “Uf
    unani
    ?”(
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    Si
    ka:
    “Baba,
    thatmani
    sher
    eagai
    n.Hel
    ookscr
    azi
    ert
    hanbef
    ore.
    ”

    Fr
    anco,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lhi
    m.Thi
    sisal
    lhi
    sfaul
    t.

    Me:
    “Thatbast
    ard,
    tel
    lhi
    mto…”

    Francopushesintheofficebef
    oreIcouldfi
    nishmysentence.He’
    sroughlooking,di
    rt
    yand
    unshaven.Thesamef earheheldthatdaysti
    lll
    urksar
    oundhim.Sikaposi
    tionshimselfatt
    he
    door,he’
    sreadyforanythingj
    usti
    ncaseFrancot ri
    essomethi
    ngstupi
    d.

    Fanco:“Mkhi
    ze,Ihavel
    osteveryt
    hing.Mymoneyandmybusiness.Mypeopl ehavet
    urned
    agai
    nstme, t
    hosefucker
    ssayI ’
    m crazyandv
    otedmeoutofthebusiness.Ibui
    ltt
    hem,thi
    sis
    myf at
    her’
    sbusi
    nessbut,theyhadthenervet
    oturnagai
    nstme.
    ”

    Het
    alesi
    naf
    rant
    icmanner
    ,Idet
    estt
    hesi
    ghtofhi
    mri
    ghtnow.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    eFr
    anco?
    ”

    Fr
    anco:“Youhavet
    ohelpmeplease,
    IneedmoneyMkhize.Atl
    eastifIgobacktoI
    taly,
    Ican
    st
    artov
    erf r
    om t
    her
    e,thi
    soldmansti
    llf
    oll
    owsme.Ihav
    et r
    iedal
    lchurches,
    Ievent
    riedBuddah.
    Hel
    pmepl ease,
    dothosetr
    adi
    ti
    onalt
    hingsyoudo.
    ”

    Hepl
    eadsdesper
    atel
    y.

    Me:
    “Nowy
    ouwantt
    radi
    ti
    onal
    hel
    p?WhenIof
    fer
    edi
    tbef
    ore,
    youi
    nsul
    tedmycust
    omsFr
    anco.
    ”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Shi
    t.
    ”

    Hescr
    eams.

    Franco:
    “Look,
    Iwasn’
    tinmyr
    ightst
    ateofmi
    nd.Iknownowt
    hatt
    her
    e’snowayout
    ,Ineedhel
    p
    andmoney .
    ”

    Me:
    “Fr
    anco,
    you’
    rest
    upi
    dyouknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Hef
    rownsatmydecl
    arat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dIsaywheny
    ouwentt
    ogett
    hatgi
    rl
    ?Di
    dInotf
    ucki
    ngsaydon’
    ttoucht
    heOkol
    i
    e
    boy?Donotevenputasingl
    escr
    atchonhi
    m?But
    ,no.Youwant
    edt
    odot
    hingsy
    ourway
    becausey
    ou’r
    eanidiot
    .”

    Ishoutathi
    m,hel
    ooksbaf
    fl
    edbywhatIam t
    ell
    i
    nghi
    m.

    Fr
    anco:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngonMkhi
    ze?Whatdoest
    hatdeadf
    ool
    hav
    eany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    tht
    his?
    ”

    Me:“
    Itol
    dyoudammi tthaty
    oudonotkil
    lanOkoli
    ebut
    ,Isentt
    woboy st
    odoagr ownman’
    sjob.
    Youf
    ail
    edFrancoandthismist
    akeorwhatev
    eryoucal
    li
    twil
    lhaunty
    ouunti
    lyourdeat
    h.Myso…”

    Ican’
    tbr
    ingmy
    sel
    ftosay
    ingi
    t,Isi
    ghasr
    eal
    i
    tyhi
    tsmeagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Mysoni
    sdead,
    hedi
    edamy
    ster
    iousdeat
    h.”

    Fr
    anco:
    “Okay
    ,Ist
    il
    ldon’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    nthi
    sMkhi
    ze.I
    tcan’
    tbet
    rue,
    that
    ’sal
    lmumboj
    umbo.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    tsi
    gnor
    ant
    ly.

    Me:“
    Ift
    hisi
    snotreal
    thentheol
    dmanhaunt i
    ngy
    oui
    snotr
    eal
    .Gett
    hef
    uckoutofmyof
    fi
    ce,
    ifI
    ev
    erseeyourf
    acehereagai
    n,Iwi
    ll
    kil
    lyou.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m.

    Franco:
    “Youcan’tdot
    hist
    omeman,Iputmyownl i
    featr
    iskbyhel
    pingy
    ou.Okol
    i
    ecould’
    ve
    ki
    lledmebut,
    Iriskedmyli
    fef
    ory
    ouMkhize.Youowememan, yougotwhaty
    ouwantedsopay
    up.”

    Hescrat
    cheshisheadroughly
    ,asheyel
    lsatt
    hetopofhisl
    ungs.Hehascl
    ear
    lyl
    ostit
    ,Ihavea
    goodmindtoputabull
    etthroughhi
    shead.I
    tishi
    signor
    ancethathasl
    edmetothi
    ssituat
    ion,
    he’
    sthereasonIhavel
    ostmyson.

    Me:“
    Idon’
    toweyoushi
    tFr
    anco,
    Ican’
    tst
    resst
    hesameabouty
    ou.Youowememyson’
    sli
    fe,
    a
    l
    if
    eforal
    if
    eri
    ght
    ?”

    Franco:
    “Youknowwhat
    ,Idon’
    tneedy
    ouokay
    ?Fucky
    ouMkhi
    zeandgot
    ohel
    lal
    ongwi
    thy
    our
    fucki
    ngson.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dyousayt
    ome?
    ”

    Igr
    abmygunf
    rom t
    het
    abl
    eandai
    mitathi
    m.

    Fr
    anco:
    “Isai
    dfucky
    ouandf
    ucky
    ourson.Vai
    all
    ’
    inf
    ernoMkhi
    ze.
    ”(Got
    ohel
    l
    .)

    Hecl
    ear
    lyhasadeat
    hwi
    sh.

    Franco:“You’
    renotgoi
    ngtoshootme,y
    oudon’thaveiti
    nyou.Thi
    siswhyyousendpeopl
    et o
    doy ourdir
    tywork,y
    ou’
    renotmenenough.Youhidebehi
    ndyourmoneyandthetaxi
    bossstatus,
    that’
    swhatpeoplefear
    ,notyou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Feart
    his,
    youbast
    ard.
    ”

    Ipul
    lthetr
    iggerandshoothi
    m bet
    weent
    heheadandasi
    ngl
    ebul
    l
    ett
    akeshi
    m downashi
    s
    bl
    oodsplatter
    sallov
    ermyf l
    oor
    .
    Me:
    “Si
    ka,
    khi
    phal
    enj
    a.”(
    Taket
    hisdogoutofher
    e.)

    Si
    ka:
    “Yebobaba.
    ”(Yessi
    r.
    )

    KHETHU*

    Nobay eni i
    ssitt
    ingonthecouchli
    keshedoesn’tcare,
    shest
    il
    lhasn’tl
    ookedatmeandIam
    brokenbyt hatf
    act.Ij
    ustfoundoutt
    hatmygr andf
    atheri
    sal
    somyf at
    her,myfat
    herisnotmy
    realfatherandmymot herismysist
    er.Thet
    houghtofiti
    ssi
    ckening,Idon’
    tunderst
    andhowI
    am stil
    l saneaftert
    hisrevel
    ati
    on.

    Mbongenii
    sstil
    lher
    e,Iwi
    shhedi
    dn’
    thav
    etoseeanyoft
    his.Iam soembar
    rassedt
    hatIhav
    ea
    dy
    sfunct
    ional
    family
    .

    Dad:
    “Her
    e.”

    Hehandsmeacupofcof
    fee.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantcof
    fee,
    Iwantanswer
    sdad.Shoul
    dIev
    encal
    lyout
    hat
    ?”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m asIpushhi
    shand,
    thecupf
    all
    sandbr
    eaksi
    ntopi
    eces.

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hu,
    Ithi
    nkweshoul
    dtal
    kaboutt
    hisathome.
    ”

    Hesay
    s.

    Me:“Whathome?Idon’
    thav
    eahome,
    Iwaschasedoutbymymot
    herorsi
    ster
    .Idon’
    tknow
    whattocal
    lher
    .”

    Iv
    ent
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Br
    idget
    te!
    !!
    ”

    Shescr
    eams,
    that
    ’swhenhercol
    dey
    esf
    inal
    l
    ynot
    iceme.

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hu,
    thi
    sisnott
    her
    ightt
    ime.Yourgr
    andf
    atherj
    ustdi
    ed,
    wehav
    etor
    especthi
    shome.
    ”

    Hegi
    vesmeadi
    sappoi
    ntedl
    ook.

    Me:“Tel
    lmedad.HowlongwasIgoi
    ngtobekeptinthedarkaboutmyt
    ruei
    dent
    it
    y?I
    sthi
    swhy
    Nobayenihat
    esme?Ir
    emindherofmygrandf
    ather
    ’sshame.”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Dl
    adl
    ayoubet
    terspeakt
    oyourdaught
    err
    ightnowor
    …”

    Me:
    “OrwhatNobayeni
    ?Whatwi
    ll
    y oudo?Haven’
    tyoudoneenough?Youshoul
    dhav
    eabor
    ted
    me,
    Iwoul
    d’ver
    atherdi
    edt
    hantofacethi
    shumili
    ati
    on.
    ”

    Iyell
    ,Ican’
    tstop.Thi
    sangeri
    seat
    ingmeupi
    nsi
    deandIhav
    etov
    enti
    tal
    loutont
    heones
    responsibl
    e.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“May
    beIshoul
    d’v
    eabor
    tedy
    ouandspar
    edmy
    sel
    fthehumi
    l
    iat
    ionofhav
    inga
    daught
    erl
    i
    key
    ou.
    ”

    Sheshout
    sback.

    Me:
    “Ihat
    eyouNobay
    eni
    .”

    Iscr
    eam atherasherwordsbr eakmecausi
    ngmetolashouti
    nanger,Mbongeni
    tri
    estot
    ake
    myhandandIy ankitaway.Iknowheisaboutt
    orepr
    imandme,Iam noti
    nthemoodt obetol
    d
    whattodo.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Thef
    eel
    i
    ngi
    smut
    ual
    Bri
    dget
    te.
    ”

    Sher
    ipost
    escol
    dly
    .

    Gr
    anny
    :“Khet
    hunganey
    ami
    .”(
    Mychi
    l
    d.)

    It
    urnt
    othesoundofmygr
    andmot
    her
    ’sf
    rai
    lvoi
    ce,
    she’
    ssl
    owl
    ytoi
    l
    ingt
    owar
    dsme.

    Granny:“
    Pleaseiront
    hisshi
    rt
    .Yourgrandfatherwillweari
    ttoworktomor
    row,t
    hisi
    shi
    s
    favour
    it
    eshirt.Ir
    ememberwhenIcamehomewi thit
    ,hehatedit
    .Iknewt
    hatonedayi
    twi
    l
    lbe
    oneofhispricedpossessi
    onsbecauseit
    'sthef i
    rstgif
    tIevergothi
    m.”

    Shehandsmeav
    int
    agepi
    tchcol
    l
    aredshi
    rt
    ,weal
    ll
    eeratherbaf
    fl
    ed.

    Me:
    “Gogo,
    utat
    au…”

    Gr
    anny
    :“Hel
    pmet
    othecouchmychi
    l
    d,myf
    eetar
    eki
    l
    li
    ngme.
    ”

    Shest
    ret
    chesoutherhandt
    omeandIt
    akei
    trel
    uct
    ant
    lyandl
    eadhert
    othecouch.

    Shesi
    tsbackandsi
    ghsdeepl
    y.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokaygogo?
    ”(Gr
    andmot
    her
    .)

    Granny:"
    Yebonganey
    ami
    ,don’
    tfor
    gett
    oir
    ony
    ourgr
    andf
    ather
    ’sshi
    rt
    .Hewi
    l
    lbeupsetwhenhe
    fi
    ndsitnoti
    roned.
    ”

    Shest
    atessof
    tl
    y.

    Me:“Yebogogo.Ngi
    kwenzel
    eit
    iye?Awubukeki
    ulungi
    l
    e.”(
    Shoul
    dImakey
    ousomet
    ea?You
    don'
    tlookokay
    .)

    Granny:“Ayi nganey ami,kuyashisangi


    right.Nobayenimtwanawami ,khululainhl
    izi
    yoy akho.
    Igcweleulaka, khulul
    ainhli
    zi
    y oyakhos’thandwasami .Awuhlal
    iwedwakul omhl aba,udi
    nga
    abantu.Godwor ksthr
    oughpeopl emychi ld.Howwi l
    lyouhealifyoudon’tletanyonein? ”(
    No,
    I
    ’m okay.It’
    shot .Nobay enimychi l
    d,r
    eleasey ourheart
    ,It
    ’sf
    ullofanger
    .Youdon’ tl
    i
    v ealonei
    n
    thisworl
    d, youneedpeopl e.
    )

    Nobay
    eni
    rol
    l
    sherey
    es.Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hewaymygr
    andmot
    heri
    sspeaki
    ng.

    Me:
    “Gogo,
    arey
    ouokay
    ?”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.
    Granny
    :“Khethu,
    youkeepaski
    ngmei
    fI’
    m okay
    .Whywoul
    dn’
    tIbe?Ngi
    funaukul
    alakancane.
    ”(I
    wanttosleepali
    ttl
    e.)

    But
    ,shej
    ustwokeup.

    Gr
    anny:“
    Pleasewakemeupwhenyourgr
    andf
    athercomesbackfr
    om work,
    don’
    tfor
    gett
    oir
    on
    hi
    sshi
    rtandleav
    ehisf
    oodi
    nthepot.Iwi
    l
    ldi
    shupf orhi
    m.Shedecl
    ares.

    Me:“Gogo,akesi
    hambekancaneukuz
    eut
    hol
    eumoy
    aomusha.
    ”(Let
    ’st
    akeawal
    kabi
    t,soy
    ou
    cangetfr
    eshair.
    )

    Isuggest
    ,sheshakesherheadasshepat
    smyt
    high.

    Gr
    anny
    :“Cha,
    ngi
    khat
    hel
    e.”(
    No,
    I’
    mti
    red.
    )

    Sheshut
    sherey
    eswhi
    l
    edecl
    ari
    ng.

    Igl
    anceatmyf
    ather,
    hehasthesameworri
    edlook.Nobayeni
    seemstosuspectsomet
    hingas
    wel
    l.Iwat
    chmygrandmot
    heratt
    enti
    vel
    yandshedoesn’tl
    ookokay.

    Me:
    “Dad.
    ”

    Ipani
    c,her
    ushest
    oherandf
    eel
    sherpul
    se.

    Thi
    sti
    meI
    ’
    m heav
    ing,
    I’
    m st
    ruggl
    i
    ngt
    obr
    eat
    he,
    itf
    eel
    sli
    keat
    rucki
    ssi
    tt
    ingonmychest
    .

    Hest
    epsback,
    hisheadbowedandsi
    ghs.

    Dad:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sunderhi
    sbr
    eat
    h.

    Aloudscr
    eam ev
    adesfrom mymout
    h,Mbongeni
    cat
    chesmei
    ntohi
    sar
    msasIst
    aggerback
    al
    mostfal
    li
    ngonthefl
    oor.

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    ’
    vegoty
    ou.
    ”

    Iwai
    li
    nhi
    sar
    ms.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Dl
    adl
    awhati
    sit
    ?”

    Dad:
    “She’
    sgoneNobay
    eni
    .
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“What
    ?Dl
    adl
    ayou’
    ret
    oool
    dforj
    okes,
    don’
    tyout
    hink?
    ”

    Shesay
    s,whi
    l
    eshest
    ri
    dest
    othecouchwher
    emygr
    andmot
    heri
    sandnudgesher
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Mom.
    ”

    Dad:
    “She’
    sdeadNobay
    eni
    ,I
    ’m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Hedecl
    aresashepul
    l
    sherbackbut
    ,shef
    ight
    shi
    m.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“NoDl
    adl
    a,don’
    ttouchme.Mymot
    heri
    snotweakl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ,shecan’
    tjustdi
    e.”
    Hervoi
    cebreaksasheremoti
    onstakeov
    erher
    .Myf
    atherhugsherf
    rom behi
    ndandhepul
    l
    s
    herawayf
    rom mygrandmother.

    Shelet
    soutapai
    nfulheartwr enchi
    ngcry,
    Ifeel
    aneedtocomf
    ortherasIhav
    eneverseenmy
    mothersoemot
    ional
    bef ore.But,Iam t
    ooweakt omov
    e.Howcansomuchheart
    achehappen
    i
    naday ?

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tbr
    eat
    he,
    MboIcan’
    tbr
    eat
    he.
    ”

    Iexpr
    essasIpul
    lawayf
    rom hi
    sar
    ms.

    Myf
    atherl
    ooksatme,
    Iknowhe’
    swor
    ri
    edbut
    ,hecan’
    tleav
    ehi
    shy
    ster
    ical
    wif
    e.

    Mbongeni
    cupsmycheeks.

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hu,youneedt
    ocal
    m down.You’
    rehav
    ingapani
    cat
    tack,
    Ineedy
    out
    obr
    eat
    he
    okay
    .Foll
    owmyl ead.
    ”

    If
    oll
    owhi
    sleadashecount
    smybr
    eat
    hing.

    Mbongeni
    whisksmeupi
    nhisar
    ms, t
    hemomentI’m st
    eadyandt
    akesmet oaguestbedr
    oom.I
    di
    dn’
    twanttoleav
    emygr
    andmother
    ’ssi
    debutal
    so,Ican’
    tst
    andtoseeherli
    ket
    hat.

    NKOMO*

    Zwel
    ethucall
    edmecryingandIhadt
    ofet
    chhi
    m andbr
    inghimtomyhouseasIcoul
    dn’tt
    ake
    hi
    mtoRandal l
    ’
    s.Hehasn’tt
    oldmewhatt
    hepr
    obl
    em i
    s,it
    ’sl
    atenowandIknowt
    hathismother
    i
    sworri
    edsick.

    Hehasnotst
    oppedplay
    ingvi
    deogamessinceIbr
    oughthi
    m home,her
    efusest
    oeat
    .Hi
    stear
    s
    ar
    eoccasi
    onal
    lyf
    all
    i
    ngfrom hi
    seyesandhehasgivenupwipi
    ngt
    hem.

    Me:
    “Youneedt
    oeatZwe.
    ”

    Hedoesn’
    trespond,
    hisey
    esar
    eengr
    ossedont
    heTVscr
    een.

    Me:
    “Zwe?
    ”

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Thi
    sisenough.

    It
    urnof
    ftheTV,
    hesi
    tsbackandf
    oldshi
    sar
    msacr
    osshi
    schest
    ,Isi
    tbesi
    dehi
    m.

    Me:
    “Whati
    sitZwe?Di
    dsomet
    hinghappenathome?
    ”

    Henodsandmuf
    fl
    esacr
    y.

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyout
    ell
    meorshoul
    dIkeepaski
    ng?
    ”

    Zwe:
    “It
    ’sLunga,
    he…he…”
    Hefall
    sint
    oapainfulcr
    yandIfai
    ltounder
    standwhathashappenedt
    hathasupsethi
    m.Ihol
    d
    hi
    mi nmyar msandlethi
    m cr
    yitout.

    Me:“Zwe,maisprobablywor
    ri
    edsickabouty
    ou.Yourphonehasbeenof
    f,don’
    tyout
    hinky
    ou
    shoul
    dinf
    orm herofyourwher
    eabouts?
    ”

    Zwe:
    “Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Hest
    ateswi
    thanabr
    asi
    vet
    hroat
    .

    Me:
    “Tal
    kmebaf
    o.Whathappenedt
    oLunga?
    ”(Br
    other
    .)

    Zwe:
    “He’
    sdeadbhut
    i.
    ”(Br
    other
    .)

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Thi
    snewsi
    sear
    thshat
    ter
    ing.

    Me:
    “How?
    ”

    Heshr
    ugs.

    Zwe:
    “Idi
    dn’
    task,
    Iranoutoft
    hehouse.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youknowy
    ouhav
    etogohomer
    ight
    ?”

    Zwe:
    “Ican’
    tgobackt
    her
    ebhut
    ipl
    ease,
    letmest
    ayher
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Fi
    ne,
    youcanst
    aybut
    ,youhav
    etocal
    lmaandl
    etherknowt
    haty
    ou’
    reokay
    .”

    Zwe:
    “Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Ihav
    etof
    indoutwhathappenedt
    omybr
    other
    .

    RANDALL*

    Segunwil
    lnotl
    eavemeal
    one,
    it’
    sfunnyhowIal
    way
    sfi
    ndt
    hismani
    nmyhouse.Weshoul
    djust
    agreet
    odisagr
    ee.

    Me:
    “YouknowRav
    en,
    youshoul
    dchoosewher
    eyourl
    oyal
    tyl
    i
    es.Wi
    thmeorwi
    thy
    ourf
    ather
    .”

    Istat
    easIj
    oint
    hem i
    nthepat
    io,
    thewaySegunhasmadehi
    msel
    fcomf
    ort
    abl
    e,y
    ou’
    dswearhe
    support
    smecomplet
    ely
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “IfIam f
    orcedt
    opi
    cksi
    des,
    Imi
    ghtaswel
    lspl
    i
    tmy
    sel
    fint
    otwo.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    ts.

    Segun:
    “Don’
    tber
    idi
    cul
    ousUze.
    ”

    Hegr
    imacesatme.
    Me:“
    Ohfather,
    howIwi shyouwoul
    ddoawaywi ththatname.I
    tisareminderthaty
    ouwi
    l
    l
    al
    wayshav
    et heupperhand,ev
    eninyourdeat
    h,Iknowy ouwi
    ll
    neverlett
    hisbe.”

    Segun:“
    Youspeakofmydeat
    hwhi
    l
    eIst
    andbef
    orey
    ouUze?I
    sthi
    swhaty
    ouwi
    shf
    ory
    our
    fat
    her?
    ”

    Me:“
    HowcanIwi
    shsomethingIhav
    enev
    ertast
    ed?Ihav
    ebeengonef
    rom y
    ouf
    ort
    ool
    ongso,
    whet
    hery
    oul
    iv
    eorper
    ish.I
    twill
    makenodif
    fer
    encetome.”

    Hescowl
    sandshi
    ft
    stot
    heedgeofhi
    sseat
    .

    Segun:“
    Iseethi
    sli
    fey
    ouhavechosenhastaughty
    ouimpudence,t
    her
    ewasatimeyounev
    er
    tal
    kedbackatme.Youobey
    edeverywordIgavewit
    hnocomplaint
    swhat
    soev
    er.”

    Thi
    sisexact
    lywhathewant
    s,ar
    obothecancont
    rol
    .

    Me:“Li
    keyousaidf
    ather
    ,ther
    ewasat
    imeandIwasaboyt
    hen,
    Iam amannow.I
    ’
    m capabl
    eto
    t
    hinkformysel
    fandmakemyowndecisi
    ons.
    ”

    Segun:“
    Yetyourwordsprov
    eother
    wiseUze,y
    ouclai
    mtobeamanbuty ouhav
    echosenal
    i
    fe
    ofcri
    me.Reall
    yUze?Bloodmoney?Ist
    hishowyouhavebui
    l
    tyourl
    i
    fe?
    ”

    Il
    eeratRav
    en,
    heshr
    ugsandcl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    .

    Me:
    “Ist
    her
    eany
    thi
    ngy
    oucandowi
    thy
    ourt
    imef
    atherbut
    ,inv
    est
    igat
    eme?
    ”

    Segun:“Idi
    dwell
    byi
    nvest
    igat
    ingyouUze,l
    ookatthemessyouhavemadewithy
    ourl
    if
    e.You
    weresafeundermywi
    ngbut,l
    ikeastupi
    dli
    tt
    leboyyour
    anthinki
    ngyouwoul
    dmakeitout
    ther
    e.”

    Me:
    “Fat
    herdonotr
    epr
    imandmeasi
    fIam achi
    l
    d,Idonott
    akel
    i
    ght
    lyt
    oinsul
    ts.
    ”

    Isnapathi
    m,heget
    suponhi
    sfeetasheaccept
    sal
    ookofr
    age.

    Segun:
    “Li
    stent
    oyou,speaki
    ngt
    oyourf
    atherasi
    fheisyourmate.Igav
    eyouev
    ery
    thi
    ngson,
    youhadal
    lthemoneyinthewor
    ldUz
    e.Whysettl
    efort
    hisl
    ife?
    ”

    Me:
    “Donotcal
    lmet
    hat
    ,fat
    her
    .”

    Thi
    sishi
    m say
    ingIcont
    rol
    you,
    notoncehasheev
    ercal
    l
    edmebymyf
    ir
    stname.

    Segun:
    “Iwi
    l
    lcall
    youwhat
    everIwant
    ,youar
    emyson.Igav
    eyout
    hisbl
    oodyname,
    youwi
    l
    lnot
    tel
    lmewhattodo.Doy
    ouhearmeboy ?”

    Heshout
    s,Rav
    enget
    sup,
    hewant
    stoj
    umpi
    nbut
    ,hei
    saf
    rai
    dofst
    andi
    ngupt
    othi
    sman.

    Ineedtocontr
    olmysel
    f,mymotherwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmewhenshef
    indsoutt
    hatIr
    aisedmyv
    oiceather
    husbandevenworse,
    theki
    ng.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoui
    nmyhouseFat
    her
    ?”

    Iaskcal
    mly
    .

    Segun:
    “Ist
    hiswhaty
    ouhav
    ebecomeUzeOkol
    i
    e?Acr
    imi
    nal
    wit
    hnor
    espectandhasnor
    egar
    d
    f
    orhumanli
    fe?Whatdi
    dn’
    tIgi
    vey
    ouson?Whatmadey
    ousuccumbt
    othi
    ski
    ndofl
    i
    fe?Don’
    t
    y
    oufeart
    hegods?”

    Il
    aughathi
    squest
    ion.

    Me: “
    Thegods?Thi si
    swhyIr an,youpushingthingsdownmyt hroat
    .Thestupidwifeyou’
    re
    obsessedabout ,cust
    omsandy ourr
    epression.Iwantedtobef reeandbemyownper son,I
    wantedtodot hingsinmyownt erms.Withnoonet odictat
    emyl i
    fe,
    youdon’tknowhow
    peacefulIhav
    ebeenl i
    ving.Ineveraskedtobeapr i
    nce,Idon’
    twantt otakeoverfr
    om youifI
    havetojumpaty oureverycommand.Ir efuset obeyouf at
    her.AskRaven,heisafteral
    lyour
    shadow.Noof fenseRav .”

    Rav
    en:
    “Nonet
    akenbr
    o.”

    Her
    aiseshi
    shandswi
    thasmi
    rk.

    Istaggerbackali
    tt
    leasahotsensat
    ionki
    ssesmycheek,
    damn,
    thi
    sol
    dmani
    sst
    il
    lst
    rong.I
    didn’
    tseethatsl
    apcoming.

    Segun:
    “Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyoubef
    oreIl
    ety
    oudi
    srespectmel
    i
    ket
    hat
    ,youhear
    ?”

    Heshout
    s.

    Rav
    en:
    “Fat
    her
    ,whathav
    eyoudone?Youj
    usthi
    tyourownson.
    ”

    Ravenisshockedatt
    his,notoncehasthi
    smaneverl
    aidafi
    ngeronanyofhischi
    ldr
    en.He
    mightbehardandstr
    ictbut,cor
    poral
    puni
    shmenti
    snotsomethi
    nghepract
    ised.

    Me:“Fat
    her,Iwanty
    outolist
    entomeandli
    stenwell
    .Ihavefoundloveformy
    self
    ,Iam goi
    ngto
    bri
    ngherandy ouwi
    llbl
    essus.Ot
    herwi
    seIam notSegunOkoli
    e’sson,i
    fyout
    hinkyou’
    rehar
    d
    headedthen,y
    oudonotknowme. ”

    Segun:
    “Ar
    eyout
    hreat
    ingmeboy
    ?”

    Hescowl
    satme.

    Me:“
    HowcanIthr
    eatenmyownfather
    ?Iam j
    ustst
    ati
    ng.Iwil
    lnotli
    vemyli
    fewi
    thoutt
    his
    woman,
    ifi
    tmeansIhavet
    odief
    ighti
    ngtobewit
    hherthen,i
    tshall
    bedone.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Whoi
    sthi
    sjezebel
    thathas…”

    Me:
    “SEGUN!
    !!
    ”

    Iy
    ellathi
    m asIgrabhim byhisshi
    rt
    ,Rav
    eni
    sbet
    weenusi
    nfl
    ash.He’
    spul
    l
    ingmeawayf
    rom
    hi
    m but,myhandsholdat i
    ghtgri
    p.

    Rav
    en:
    “Randal
    l
    ,Li
    yai
    sher
    e,l
    etgoofhi
    m.”

    Hewhispers.It
    urnt
    omybabywho’
    sgl
    anci
    ngatuswi
    thf
    eari
    nherey
    es,
    Ipul
    lbackswi
    ft
    lyand
    hur
    ryt
    ot akeherinmyar
    ms.

    Segun:
    “Uze.
    ”
    Hecal
    l
    smeasIat
    temptt
    owal
    kaway
    ,Ist
    opandt
    urnt
    ohi
    m.

    Segun:
    “Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    omeether
    ,shei
    spar
    tofy
    ouandIcannotdenyher
    .”

    ThismandoesnotknowwherehestandsandIam notsur
    eIwanthim any
    wherenearmychi
    l
    d.
    IleeratLi
    yanawhohasherar
    mshookedaroundmyneck,Ican’
    treal
    l
    yhideherf
    rom hi
    m
    forever
    .”

    Me:
    “Pr
    incess,
    Iwanty
    out
    omeetsomeone.
    ”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduce.

    Li
    yana:
    “Whoi
    sitpapa?I
    sitt
    hemanwhohi
    tyou?Idon’
    twantt
    omeethi
    m.”

    Shesawal
    loft
    hat
    ?Ihat
    eexposi
    ngmychi
    l
    dtosucht
    hings.

    Me:
    “It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dmeethi
    m,hei
    snotabadper
    son.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “Buthehi
    tyoupapa.
    ”

    Shecar
    essesmyt
    hrobbi
    ngcheek,
    Ismi
    l
    eather
    .

    Me:“
    Yousee,j
    ustasy
    ouar emydaught
    erandIcanchast
    isey
    ou,
    hei
    smyf
    atherandhe’
    s
    al
    l
    owedtorebukemeifIam wr
    ong.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “St
    il
    l,
    hehi
    tyou.Younev
    erhi
    tmepapa.
    ”

    Shei
    sanOkol
    i
    eal
    ri
    ght
    ,herst
    ubbor
    nnesst
    est
    if
    iesf
    orher
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Pr
    incess,
    won’
    tyoul
    ethi
    m expl
    ainswhyhedi
    dwhathedi
    d?”

    Rav
    enspeaks,
    he’
    sal
    way
    sjumpi
    ngt
    omyr
    escue.Li
    yanaponder
    suponi
    t,t
    hennodsonce.

    Iputherdownandmyf
    atherambl
    est
    oherandt
    akesherupi
    nhi
    sar
    ms.

    IhopeIdonotl
    i
    vet
    oregr
    ett
    his.

    Hesi
    tsdownwi
    thheronhi
    slap,
    Liy
    anal
    ookscomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Segun:
    “Doy
    ouknowwhoIam pr
    incess?
    ”

    Sheshakesherhead.

    Segun:
    “Iam y
    ournana.
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Hesay
    s.

    Li
    yana:
    “Gr
    andf
    ather
    ?”

    Henodswi
    thanemot
    ional
    smi
    l
    eonhi
    sface.

    Li
    yana:
    “Youar
    emypapa’
    sar
    gya.
    ”(Fat
    her
    .)

    Heshoot
    smeapr
    oudl
    ook,
    it’
    scl
    earhedi
    dn’
    texpectt
    ohert
    oknowt
    hatwor
    d.

    Segun:
    “Yes,
    I’
    m aki
    ng,
    yourpapai
    sapr
    inceandy
    oumyl
    ovear
    eapr
    inc…”
    Me:
    “Okay
    ,that
    ’senough.
    ”

    Itakeherfr
    om hi
    m,Liy
    anadoesn’
    tknowanyt
    hingaboutt
    hisroy
    alty
    .Onl
    yIwil
    ltel
    lherwhenI
    feelt
    hetimeisri
    ght
    ,Seguni
    sagreatmani
    pulat
    orandIcannottr
    usthi
    m att
    hismoment.

    Tobecont
    inued…

    59*

    RANDALL*

    St
    ylesi
    sbei
    ngdi
    schar
    gedt
    oday
    ,fi
    nal
    l
    ywecangetonwi
    tht
    hispl
    an.IneedAmar
    awi
    thme.

    I
    t’
    saMondayaf
    ter
    noon,
    rightaf
    ter12pm.Ihav
    etobeatt
    hehospi
    tal
    around2pm.

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma.
    ”

    Ishoutf
    orherasIsaunt
    erdownt
    hest
    air
    s,shehur
    ri
    est
    omef
    rom t
    heki
    tchen.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Uze?
    ”

    Me:
    “Wher
    eisLi
    ya,
    Ican’
    tfi
    ndherany
    wher
    e.”

    Chi
    oma:
    “She’
    sint
    hepat
    iowi
    thNeo.
    ”

    Ther
    e’saknockatt
    hedoor
    ,shehur
    ri
    est
    oopen.

    Nkomomar
    chesi
    nlooki
    ngf
    lust
    ered,
    IthoughtIt
    oldhi
    mtol
    eav
    emyhouse.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Nkomo:
    “Whatdi
    dyout
    omybr
    othery
    oubast
    ard?
    ”

    Hegr
    oanswhi
    l
    ewal
    ki
    ngt
    owar
    dst
    hest
    air
    s,Imeethi
    m hal
    fway
    .

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”

    Nkomo:
    “Youki
    l
    ledmybr
    otherScar
    .”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”

    Nkomo:“Whatshoul
    dIcal
    lyou?I
    tiswhoy
    ouar
    e.Ahear
    tl
    essbast
    ardwhoki
    l
    lsi
    nnocent
    chi
    ldr
    en.
    ”

    Ihav
    enoi
    deawhathe’
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    .

    Me:
    “Nkomo,
    ify
    oucamet
    omyhouset
    oinsul
    tme.Rat
    herl
    eav
    ebef
    oreIhur
    tyou.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Tel
    lmewhyy
    oudi
    dit
    .Whatdi
    dthati
    nnocentboydot
    oyou?
    ”
    Me:“Whatthef
    uckar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?Wi
    l
    lyoust
    andt
    her
    eandcr
    yli
    keabi
    tchorexpl
    ain
    your
    sel
    f?”

    Nkomo: “Myl
    it
    tl
    ebrotherdiedsuddenl
    y,yest
    erday,
    nooneknowshowhisdeathcameabout
    .I
    knowi twasy
    ouRandall,y
    oumanagedt ogeti nt
    othathouseandki
    l
    lhi
    m.Iknowhowyour
    bloodymindworks,
    you’r
    esi ckl
    iket
    hat.
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    satme,
    Ihuf
    f.

    Me:“Don’
    tyout
    hinkifIhadfoundmywayi
    ntoMkhize’
    shouse,theonlyt
    hingIwoul
    d’v
    edone
    wastogetAmara?Idon’tpl
    aygamesNkomo,al
    lIcareaboutr
    ightnowisgett
    ingAmaraoutof
    t
    here.Iwoul
    dappreci
    ateit
    ,ify
    ouwoul
    dnotcometomyhouseandf ucki
    ngtel
    lmeshit.
    ”

    Hegl
    aresatmef
    orawhi
    l
    e.

    Me: “Look,Idon’
    tli
    key ouandIdoubtIeverwil
    l.But,Ihav
    eachildNkomoandIwoul dnev er
    thinkofhurti
    ngany one’schil
    d.Cometothi
    nkofi t
    ,Iwarnedyourfatherbefor
    e.Youdonot
    challengetheOkolies,Iguesshetookmeforaf oolandnowhe’spay ingfori
    t.I
    fanyoneistobe
    blamedher e,i
    t’
    sthatol dmanofy our
    s.Hebroughtthisuponyourfami l
    y,f
    oroldti
    me’ssakeI
    am sor r
    yforyourloss.”

    IguessIshoul
    dknowhowhef
    eel
    s,Iwoul
    dbr
    eaki
    fIwer
    etol
    osemybr
    other
    s.

    Nkomosi
    ghs,
    stepsbackandset
    tl
    esonachai
    r.Hebur
    ieshi
    sfacei
    nhi
    shands.

    “
    I’
    dbedamned,
    UzeOkol
    i
    eknowshowt
    oapol
    ogi
    se.
    ”

    Onl
    yonepersonisfondofsayi
    ngt
    hesewor
    ds.Asmil
    efl
    ashesonmyf aceasIturnt
    omeet
    St
    yles,
    he’
    sstandi
    nginthefoy
    erwi
    thSet
    hu.Hi
    shandisoverhershoul
    derashe’
    sunabl
    eto
    st
    andonhisown.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyougether
    e?It
    houghty
    ouwi
    l
    lbedi
    schar
    gedatt
    hree.
    ”

    Iut
    terwi
    thexci
    tementasIsaunt
    ert
    ohi
    m andt
    akeov
    erf
    rom Set
    hu.

    St
    yles:
    “Iwassi
    ckoft
    hatpl
    ace,
    Icoul
    dn’
    twai
    tany
    mor
    e.”

    Heexpl
    ainswhi
    l
    eIl
    eadhi
    mtot
    hecouch,
    hesi
    tsbackandsi
    ghssof
    tl
    y.

    Me:
    “So,
    youaskedMi
    ssSet
    hut
    oaccompanyy
    ou?Whathappenedt
    oUber
    ?Youcoul
    d’v
    ecal
    l
    ed
    measwell
    .”

    Iwhi
    spert
    ohi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Shehasacarandof
    fer
    edt
    otakemeso,
    Iagr
    eed.
    ”

    Hetur
    nstot
    hedoorwher
    eSet
    hui
    sst
    il
    lst
    andi
    ngwi
    thherheadbowedandherhandsf
    idget
    ing
    wi
    theachot
    her
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Set
    hu,
    comei
    n.Thi
    sfool
    mayl
    ookscar
    ybut
    ,hedoesn’
    tbi
    te.
    ”

    Het
    eases,
    Nkomof
    oll
    owsbehi
    ndwhi
    l
    eChi
    omast
    ri
    desbackt
    otheki
    tchen.
    Me:
    “Youf
    orgott
    oleav
    eyourdr
    yjokesatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Whowi
    l
    lmakey
    oul
    aughi
    fIhaddonet
    hat
    ,Iknowy
    ouf
    indmef
    unny
    .”

    Her
    ipost
    ewi
    thapi
    nchofsar
    casm,
    Ichor
    tl
    e,Icannotexpr
    esshowcr
    azyt
    hisf
    ool
    is.

    Nkomo:“
    Youl
    ookbet
    terman.
    ”

    Nkomost
    ates.

    Styl
    es:
    “I’
    m sur
    pri
    sedy
    out
    wohav
    en’
    tki
    l
    ledeachot
    her
    ,I’
    m expect
    ingheav
    ythunderst
    orms
    toni
    ght
    .”

    Anot
    herdr
    yjoke,
    Nkomochor
    tl
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ihav
    etogobacknow,
    myshi
    fti
    snotov
    ery
    et.
    ”

    Me:
    “Oh,
    you’
    real
    l
    owedt
    oleav
    ewor
    kpr
    emi
    sesdur
    ingwor
    kinghour
    s?Thatmustbeni
    ce.
    ”

    St
    ylesshoot
    smeacol
    dst
    are,
    Ismi
    rkathi
    m.

    Set
    hu:
    “It
    ’smyl
    unchbr
    eaksi
    r.
    ”

    Sheexpl
    ains,
    shy
    lydr
    oppi
    nghergaze.

    Me:“
    No,cal
    lmeMr .Randal
    l
    .Si
    rist
    oof
    ormal
    ,you’
    reMr
    .St
    yles’
    fri
    endandt
    hatmakesy
    oumy
    f
    ri
    end.Ri
    ghtSt
    yles?
    ”

    Hi
    sshar
    pgazepi
    ercesme,
    Ichor
    tl
    einr
    esponse.

    Me:
    “I’
    m ki
    ddi
    ngSet
    hu,
    I’
    mjustt
    ryi
    ngt
    ogety
    out
    orel
    ax.Youar
    etooedgy
    .”

    Iexpr
    ess.

    Nkomo:
    “Wehav
    en’
    tbeenf
    ormal
    l
    yint
    roduced,
    I’
    m Nkomo.
    ”

    Hereacheshi
    shandoutt
    oher,
    sheshakesi
    t.St
    ylesexchangesagl
    ancewi
    thme,
    Iknowhe
    doesn’
    ttr
    ustNkomoaswell

    Set
    hu:
    “Set
    hu.
    ”

    Shei
    ntr
    oducesshy
    lybef
    orecl
    aimi
    ngherhandback.

    St
    yles:
    “Nkomo,
    keepy
    ourey
    est
    oyour
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Hewar
    ns,
    yeahIsawt
    hatl
    ookt
    oo.

    St
    yles:
    “Set
    hudoesn’
    tdof
    uckboy
    sandshe’
    snotat
    tract
    edt
    ocowsaswel
    l
    .”

    Hest
    ates.WhydoIsenseapangofj
    eal
    ousy
    ?

    Nkomo:
    “Randywasr
    ight
    ,youshoul
    d’v
    elef
    tyourdr
    yjokesatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Ohbut
    ,I’
    m notj
    oki
    ng.I
    ’
    m deadser
    iousNkomo,
    keepawayf
    rom her
    .”
    Icl
    earmyt
    hroatwhi
    l
    egl
    anci
    ngatSt
    yles,
    heal
    mostr
    oll
    shi
    sey
    est
    her
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Thanky
    ouSet
    hu.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Nopr
    obl
    em si
    r.
    ”

    Shest
    atesassheglancesathi
    m,t
    her
    e’sast
    rangeey
    egl
    arebet
    weent
    hem t
    hatcausesmet
    o
    cl
    earmythroatagai
    n.

    Shebi
    dsusgoodby
    eandl
    eav
    es.

    Me:
    "Wel
    l
    ,nowt
    hatt
    hedi
    str
    act
    ioni
    soutoft
    heway
    .Let
    ’sgett
    obusi
    ness.
    ”

    St
    ylescl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue.

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    reaf
    ool
    Uze.
    ”

    Me:“
    Youneedt
    obecar
    eful
    Sty
    les,
    Idon’
    tseeKhet
    hubei
    ngcomf
    ort
    abl
    ewi
    tht
    hisnewf
    ound
    f
    ri
    endshi
    p.”

    St
    yles:
    “What
    every
    ou’
    rei
    mpl
    yi
    ngi
    sal
    li
    nyourhead.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Whati
    shet
    alki
    ngaboutSt
    yles?
    ”

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoust
    il
    lher
    e?”

    Iquest
    ionNkomowhogl
    aresatmebl
    ankl
    y.

    “
    Ameet
    ingwi
    thoutme,
    ouchIam hur
    t.
    ”

    Neost
    ateswal
    ki
    ngi
    n,handi
    nhandwi
    thLi
    yanawhoscur
    ri
    est
    oSt
    ylesuponseei
    nghi
    m.

    Li
    yana:
    “Uncl
    eSt
    yles.
    ”

    Shechi
    rpsandengul
    fshi
    mi nahug, heti
    tter
    sandshower
    sherwi
    thki
    ssesal
    lov
    erherf
    ace.Her
    gi
    ggl
    esfil
    lther
    oom,Inot
    icethatherclot
    hesareal
    lmuddy.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    real
    l
    y?Mud?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Thechi
    ldwant
    edt
    obui
    l
    dmudcast
    les,
    shameony
    ouUze.Youhav
    enev
    ert
    akent
    hechi
    l
    d
    t
    othebeach.
    ”

    Me:
    “Pr
    incess,
    got
    oChi
    omasoshecangety
    oucl
    eanedup.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “But
    ,Iwantt
    ost
    aywi
    thuncl
    eSt
    yles.
    ”

    Shepout
    s,St
    ylesdoesn’
    tseem t
    omi
    ndt
    hathe’
    snowcov
    eredi
    nmud.

    Me:
    “Li
    ya?
    ”

    Igi
    veherast
    ernl
    ook.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    l
    lbeher
    ewheny
    ou’
    redonepr
    incess,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “Okay
    .”
    Shej
    umpsdownf
    rom hi
    slapandcl
    ompst
    otheki
    tchen.

    Neo:
    “St
    ylos,
    youshoul
    dgety
    our
    sel
    fcl
    eanedup.
    ”

    Her
    ewego.

    St
    ylesdoesn’
    tacknowl
    edgehi
    m,hel
    ooksdi
    str
    aught
    .

    AMARA*

    EverydayIwakeupt hi
    nki
    ngtodayist hedayRandallwil
    lcomef orme,andeverydayendswith
    medi sappoi
    nted.Mkhizehasn’tcomet omyroom, thankful
    l
    y.Kazisay
    shel ooksli
    kehell
    ,Idon’
    t
    feel
    sor r
    yforhim atall
    .Kazi
    nev ert
    alksaboutthefamilywit
    hme, sheknowsitmakesme
    uncomf or
    tabl
    eandIwoul drathernothearwhattheMkhi zesareupto.

    Ihav
    ehealedwell,
    I’
    m abl
    etomov
    eaboutt
    her
    oom.Ihav
    eal
    sobeenseei
    ngl
    essofKazi
    ,It
    hink
    shewastoldnotatt
    endtomeasmuch.

    I
    ’
    m standi
    ngbyt
    hewi
    ndowasIheart
    hedoorcr
    ackopen,
    Itur
    ntomeetMkhi
    ze’
    sdi
    sconsol
    ate
    f
    ace.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ihav
    easur
    pri
    sef
    ory
    oumybr
    ide.
    ”

    Hesmi
    rks.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Won’
    tyouaskmewhati
    tis?Youdon’
    tev
    enl
    ookeagert
    oknow.
    ”

    Hepr
    onounceswhenIdon’
    trespond.

    Mkhize:“
    Fine,peopl
    esayI
    ’
    m acr
    uel
    bast
    ardbut
    ,Ibegt
    odi
    ff
    er.Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    olov
    ewhatI
    hav
    ef oryou.”

    Hi
    smout
    hfor
    msasl
    ygr
    in.

    Shoul
    dn’
    tthi
    smanbemour
    ninghi
    schi
    l
    d?

    Hemov
    est
    othesi
    deanddecl
    ares.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “NgenaSdudl
    a.”

    Hecommands, myjawdr opswhenIseemyuncletr


    eadin.Hisheadisbowedinshameandhe
    l
    ooksdi
    ff
    erent
    .He’slostabitofwei
    ght,hi
    sfacei
    sgrubby,i
    tlooksli
    kehehasn’thadabathi
    n
    day
    s.Mkhi
    zetight
    lypresseshist
    wof i
    nger
    sonhisnostr
    il
    s,i
    ndicati
    ngthatt
    here’safoul
    smell
    .

    Mkhize:“
    Sorr
    yaboutthatAmar
    a,mydoghasn’
    thadhi
    sbat
    hyet
    .Butdon’
    twor
    ry,
    hewon’
    tcome
    nearyoubecauseheknowsIwil
    lki
    l
    lhi
    m.”

    Hedecl
    ares,
    Iam di
    sgust
    edbyt
    heset
    women.Myuncl
    eisnodi
    ff
    erentf
    rom Mkhi
    ze.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Happyf
    ami
    l
    yreuni
    on,
    don’
    tbel
    ongsdudl
    a.I
    ’
    llj
    ustbeout
    sidewhi
    l
    eyout
    wocat
    chup.
    ”
    Hechor
    tl
    esbefor
    eploddi
    ngoutandshut
    sthedoorbehi
    ndhi
    m,Ir
    eal
    i
    set
    hatIam st
    il
    lter
    ri
    fi
    edof
    t
    hisman.Ihav
    enothi
    ngbut,
    ter
    ri
    blememoriesofhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouher
    etot
    akemehome?
    ”

    Ibr
    eakt
    hesi
    l
    ence,
    seei
    ngt
    hathe’
    ssheepi
    sh.

    Her
    aiseshisl
    assi
    tudeeyesandfeart
    easesme,
    thosear
    ethesameey
    est
    hatal
    way
    slookedat
    mel
    ustful
    l
    y.Todayther
    eisnoli
    feinthem.

    Moses:
    “Amar
    ayouhav
    etohel
    pme.
    ”

    Hepl
    eads,
    desper
    ati
    oncl
    eari
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Moses:
    “Thatmani
    sev
    ilAmar
    a.”

    Me:
    “Bi
    rdsoft
    hesamef
    eat
    herf
    lockt
    oget
    her
    .”

    It
    hrowt
    hati
    n.

    Moses:
    “IknowIdi
    dyouwr
    ongmychi
    l
    dandI
    ’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam noty
    ourchi
    l
    d,y
    oudeci
    dedt
    hatt
    hedayy
    oumol
    est
    edme.
    ”

    Thethoughtmakesmeemoti
    onal
    but
    ,Iwi
    l
    lnotcr
    yinf
    rontofhi
    m.Ir
    efuset
    ogi
    vehi
    mthe
    grat
    if
    icat
    ionofseei
    ngmecr
    y.

    Moses:
    “Amara,
    I’
    m amanandwhatIdi
    dtoyouisnotnew.Mostmendoi t
    ,wegivei
    ntothe
    l
    ustoft
    hefl
    eshandhur
    tthepeopl
    ewel
    ove.I
    t’
    syourjobtounder
    standandfor
    giv
    eus.”

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hosewor
    dsj
    ustl
    efthi
    smout
    h,t
    hef
    actt
    hathe’
    sjust
    if
    yinghi
    sact
    ionsi
    s
    appal
    li
    ng.

    Me:
    “Youaremor
    erev
    olti
    ngthanIthought
    ,you’
    rei
    nhumane.Iam ashamedt
    hatmyf
    ami
    l
    yhas
    t
    oberel
    atedt
    oamonsterli
    keyou.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m ast
    ear
    sgushdownmyf
    ace.

    Moses:“
    Amarali
    stentomeokay ,I
    ’m sor
    ry,Idon’
    tknowwherethatcamefrom.Lookatme
    Amara,t
    hatmanisalsokeepingmecaptive.Hebroughtmeheretoconvi
    nceyoutomarryhi
    m,
    hewil
    lki
    llmeaf
    terthewedding.But
    ,Ineedy outobeghimformylif
    eplease.
    ”

    Iam nott
    ouchedbyhi
    spl
    easatal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotdot
    hat
    ,Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    odowi
    thy
    ouandt
    hatman.
    ”

    Moses:“
    Whatiswrongwi
    thy
    oustupi
    dchild?Doy
    ouli
    keseeingmel i
    kethi
    s,huh?Thi
    nkofy
    our
    aunt
    ,shehasn’
    tseenmei
    ndaysAmara.Shemustbewor
    riedsickaboutme.”

    Me:“Youaret
    hemostsel
    fi
    shpersononthef
    aceoftheear
    th,
    youdon’
    tcar
    eaboutany
    onebut
    your
    self
    .Notoncehav
    eyouaskedmeifIwasokay
    .”

    Hi
    scol
    dlaughsendsshi
    ver
    sdownmyspi
    ne,
    ifev
    ilhadanamet
    henMoseswoul
    dbei
    t.
    Moses: “
    Amar a?Sothi
    sisyou?Youhaveavoicenowandy oucanstanduptome?Inever
    thoughtIwouldli
    vetoseet
    hisday.Tel
    lme,whoisit
    ?Whoi sthefoolt
    hatgaveyout
    his
    courage?BecauseIknowit
    ’snotMkhizet
    hat,
    fooldoesn’
    thaveiti
    nhimtosati
    sfyayoungf
    resh
    gir
    lli
    keyou.”

    Heexclai
    ms,
    rubbi
    nghischi
    nandhi
    seyeslust
    ful
    lyst
    abbi
    ngme.Isuddenl
    yfeelaneedtocover
    up.If
    oldmyarmsacr
    ossmychestandtakeastepback,
    asIl
    ookawayf r
    om thatper
    ver
    ted
    gaze.

    Me:
    “Getout
    .”

    Myvoi
    cequav
    erswi
    thr
    age,
    Kazi
    rushesi
    nandst
    opsatt
    hedooratt
    hesi
    ghtoft
    hisdi
    sgust
    ing
    manbefor
    eme.

    Moses:
    “Whoar
    eyou?Can’
    tyouseewear
    est
    il
    ltal
    ki
    ng?Getout
    .”

    Hebel
    l
    owsather
    ,shey
    elpsi
    nfr
    ightbut
    ,doesn’
    tmov
    eani
    nch.

    Moses:
    “Isai
    dgetoutofher
    e.”

    Her
    epeat
    s,Kazi
    wil
    lnotmov
    easl
    ongasshest
    il
    lseest
    hisf
    eari
    nmyey
    es.

    Kazi
    :“Si
    r,Idon’
    tknowwhoyouar
    ebut
    ,Isuggesty
    oul
    eav
    ethi
    sroom becausey
    oudonotknow
    whoyou’r
    emessi ngwi
    th.
    ”

    Shet
    hreat
    enshi
    m,Ihav
    enoi
    deawhatshemeansbut
    ,shei
    sdeadser
    ious.

    Moses:
    “Amar
    a,y
    iphel
    alakhol
    eli
    ?”(
    Ist
    hisy
    ourcockr
    oach?
    )

    Hemocks,hi
    seyesscrut
    ini
    zi
    ngev
    eryi
    nchofher
    .Kazi
    isnotdaunt
    ed,
    shest
    andsgr
    oundt
    il
    l
    Mkhi
    zefl
    iesi
    ntother
    oom.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Kwenzakal
    ani
    la?
    ”(What
    ’sgoi
    ngonher
    e?)

    Hecamebackwear
    inganangr
    ylook.

    Moses:
    “Si
    qedi
    l
    eukukhul
    umababa.
    ”(Wear
    edonet
    alki
    ngsi
    r.
    )

    Mosesf
    lasheshi
    m abi
    gsmi
    l
    e.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Voet
    sek,
    ngubani
    ubabawakho?
    ”(Whoi
    syourf
    ather
    ?)

    Her
    oar
    s,Mosesdr
    opshi
    shead.Thatar
    rogancehehadi
    sgone,
    li
    kei
    twasnev
    ert
    her
    e.

    Moses:
    “Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sa.
    ”(I
    ’
    m sor
    ry.
    )

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sabani
    ?”(
    I’
    m sor
    rywho?
    )

    Mosesl
    ooksatme,he’
    swear
    ingacr
    ownofshamenow.Hedr
    opshi
    sgaze,
    Inev
    ert
    houghtI
    woul
    dseetheday
    .

    Moses:
    “Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sankosi
    .
    ”(I
    ’
    m sor
    rymast
    er.
    )

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Idi
    dn’
    theary
    ou,
    sayi
    tlouder
    .”
    Mkhi
    zegr
    unt
    s,t
    hisi
    swei
    rdImustsay
    .

    Mosesheav
    esasi
    gh.

    Moses:
    “Ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sankosi
    .
    ”(I
    ’
    m sor
    rymast
    er.
    )

    Hebel
    l
    ows.

    Whateveri
    shappeni
    nghere,
    hedeser
    vesi
    tandIam notgoi
    ngt
    opl
    eadf
    orhi
    sli
    fe.Myauntwi
    l
    l
    bebett
    eroffwi
    thouthi
    m any
    way.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Asambesdudl
    a,Ihopemybr
    idewi
    l
    ltaket
    oconsi
    der
    ati
    onwhaty
    ousai
    d.”(
    Let
    ’sgo.
    )

    Hest
    atesl
    eadi
    ngMosesout,
    Idr
    opt
    omykneesasIam f
    inal
    l
    yabl
    etobr
    eat
    he.Kazi
    rushest
    o
    meandhel
    psmetoachair
    .

    Kazi
    :“Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Ishakemyheadposi
    ti
    vel
    y.

    Kazi
    :“Whoi
    sthatman?Somet
    hingabouthi
    misnotr
    ighthey
    .”

    Me:
    “Myuncl
    e.”

    Kazi
    :“Youruncl
    e?”

    Shesay
    sitl
    i
    kesheknowshi
    m,Icanonl
    ywonderwhati
    sbehi
    ndt
    hel
    ookonherf
    ace.

    RANDALL*

    St
    yles:
    “Ineedt
    ogoseeKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Heexpl
    ainst
    her
    easonbehi
    ndhi
    smel
    anchol
    ymood.

    Me:
    “Hav
    eyouspokent
    oher
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “She’
    snott
    aki
    ngmycal
    l
    s,Il
    eftmul
    ti
    plemi
    ssedcal
    l
    sbut
    ,shehasn’
    trespondedt
    oany
    of
    fthem.”

    Hest
    atesl
    owl
    y.

    Neo:“
    Whathappenedtoheri
    ssadgent
    s,l
    i
    fei
    snoone’
    sfri
    end.I
    maginef
    indingoutyourl
    if
    eis
    notwhaty
    outhoughti
    twasthen,
    loset
    hemosti
    mpor
    tantpeopl
    einy
    ourli
    fe.Khethuisastr
    ong
    womangents.
    ”

    He’
    sri
    ght
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ihav
    eaf
    eel
    i
    ngshei
    sshut
    ti
    ngmeoutandIwantt
    obet
    her
    eforher
    .”

    Me:
    “YoucanSt
    yles,
    she’
    spr
    obabl
    ytoost
    ressedt
    ospeak.
    ”
    St
    yles:
    “Thati
    sthesamewomanwhol
    i
    ter
    all
    yshar
    edev
    ery
    thi
    ngwi
    thme.
    ”

    Hef
    ail
    stohi
    det
    hesadnessi
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Neo:“
    Marabozza,youneedtounderstand.Thatol
    dfoolMdl
    uli
    hunghimsel
    f,t
    hebastar
    dknew
    hi
    swifewassickandhisdeat
    hcouldcauseherheal t
    htodet
    eri
    orat
    e.Howself
    ishcanaper
    son
    behee?Youknowwhat ,If
    eelKhet
    hu’spain.”

    Hesni
    ff
    s,wegl
    areathi
    m,t
    ryi
    ngt
    ofi
    ndamot
    ivat
    ionbehi
    ndhi
    stear
    s.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoucr
    yingNeo?
    ”

    Hesendshi
    shandt
    ohi
    sfaceandswi
    pesi
    tonceov
    erhi
    sey
    es.

    Nkomo:
    “Thi
    sgr
    ownassmani
    scr
    ying?
    ”

    Hest
    ateswi
    thabaf
    fl
    edl
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Neo:
    “Voet
    sek,
    I’
    m notcr
    ying.Youmor
    skont
    .”

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    thebr
    eaki
    ngofhi
    svoi
    cepr
    oveshi
    m al
    i
    ar.

    Neo:
    “Imi
    ssmymot
    hergent
    s.”

    Hesni
    ff
    sasheget
    supf
    rom hi
    sseat
    ,ourey
    esf
    oll
    owhi
    smov
    ement
    .

    Neo:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ocal
    lmymot
    her
    .”

    Hedecl
    ares,sni
    ff
    ingawaytotheki
    tchen,
    Nkomocan’tcont
    rol
    himsel
    f.Hebl
    aresi
    nlaught
    er,
    I
    t
    urntoSt
    y l
    eswhoi swrest
    li
    ngwit
    hhisownhil
    ari
    ty.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lj
    usthappened?
    ”

    Ienqui
    reasIam st
    il
    lconf
    oundedbyNeo’
    semot
    ional
    epi
    sode.

    St
    yles:
    “Neohasf
    eel
    i
    ngsaf
    teral
    l
    ,It
    houghtt
    heguywasonl
    yacl
    own,
    li
    ter
    all
    y.
    ”

    Asil
    entmomenttakesov
    ert
    her
    oom aswemul
    lov
    ert
    hepastev
    ent
    sandt
    heef
    fect
    stheyhad
    onourlov
    edones.

    Nkomo:
    “Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingy
    ouguy
    sshoul
    dknow.
    ”

    Nkomoi
    ntr
    oduces.

    Nkomo:
    “TheambushandAmar
    abei
    ngt
    akenwasal
    lOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    Hespewst
    hewor
    dsout
    ,leav
    ingmedazed.

    Me:
    “Howdoy
    ouknow?
    ”

    Nkomo:“Shewasherewhenyouwereatthehospit
    alwit
    hSty
    les,
    apparent
    lyshefoundout
    abouty
    ourdeat
    handcamet ogetLi
    yana.If
    oll
    owedherwhenshel ef
    tthehouseonlyf
    orhert
    o
    l
    eadmet oMkhize’
    shouseso,
    Iputt
    woandt wot oget
    her.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lthatwoman.
    ”
    Ir
    umbl
    e,j
    umpi
    ngupt
    omyf
    eet
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Youar
    enotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    eRandy
    ,notnow.
    ”

    Hepr
    onouncesst
    ernl
    y.

    Me:“Whatt
    hehel
    lSt
    yles?Shei
    sther
    easonAmar
    aisnotwi
    thmeandy
    ouexpectmet
    oleti
    t
    go.
    ”

    Sty
    les:“
    Idi
    dn’
    tsayl
    eti
    tgoman,j
    ustdon’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngir
    rati
    onal
    now.YouheardwhatNkomo
    sai
    d,she’
    sworki
    ngwit
    hMkhi
    ze.Onemist
    akeandyouwil
    lputAmar
    a’sl
    if
    einjeopar
    dy.
    ”

    Iunderst
    andwhathe’ssayingbut
    ,Oli
    viai
    stesti
    ngmeandIswearshewil
    lpayf
    ort hi
    s.Isee
    Chiomamar chi
    ngtotheloungewit
    hNeof oll
    owingbehi
    nd,
    he’
    str
    yingt
    ostopher.But,shei
    snot
    havingit
    ,somethi
    nghasupsethergreatl
    y.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Ienqui
    ret
    hesecondshest
    opsi
    nfr
    ontofme.

    Chioma:“
    Uze,Ifeel
    badf
    orkeepi
    ngt
    hisf
    rom y
    ou,
    asLi
    yana’
    sfat
    hery
    ouhav
    eev
    eryr
    ightt
    o
    knowthetrut
    h.”

    Shei
    sscar
    ingmer
    ightnowandIdonotscar
    eeasi
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    rut
    hChi
    oma?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh.
    ”

    Hescr
    atcheshi
    sheadi
    nfr
    ust
    rat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sgoi
    ngon?
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Li
    yanawasexposedt
    osomet
    hingnochi
    l
    dshoul
    dev
    erhav
    etosee.
    ”

    Me:
    “WhatwasLi
    yanaexposedt
    o?”

    Sheappear
    stobet
    ooaf
    rai
    dtospeak.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    whati
    sChi
    omat
    alki
    ngabout
    ?Whatwasmybabyexposedt
    o?”

    Neo:
    “Ei
    shChi
    omai
    sput
    ti
    ngmeont
    hespotnow.Thi
    sthi
    ngwi
    l
    ldr
    ivey
    oucr
    azybozza.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Idon’
    tgetwhyt
    heywoul
    dint
    roducet
    hist
    omeonl
    ytost
    all
    it,
    theyar
    edr
    ivi
    ngmei
    nsaner
    ight
    now.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    I’
    m al
    readygoi
    ngcr
    azy
    .Whatt
    hehel
    lhappenedt
    omybaby
    ?”

    Ir
    umbl
    e.

    Neo:
    “Ol
    i
    viaandJosephexposedLi
    yanat
    othei
    rsexual
    scenes.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Neopl
    easet
    ell
    meIhear
    dwr
    ong.
    ”
    St
    ylesgr
    unt
    sashepul
    l
    shi
    msel
    fup.

    Chioma:“Li
    yatol
    dusev
    eryt
    hing,
    howshewalkedi
    nont
    hem i
    nthel
    i
    vingr
    oom andJoseph
    explai
    nedtothechi
    l
    dwhatt
    heyweredoi
    ng.
    ”

    If
    eel
    myheadspi
    nni
    ngatt
    hesoundofChi
    oma’
    swor
    ds.

    St
    yles:
    “Whatdoest
    hatmean?Youpeopl
    ear
    enotmaki
    ngsense.
    ”

    Neo:“Howelseshoul
    dweexpl ai
    ni tSt
    ylos?Thechil
    dsawt hosetwohavi
    ngsexandnotoneof
    them wasashamed,i
    nsteadthatfoolJosephlockedheroutsi
    de,
    aft
    ertel
    l
    ingthechi
    l
    dthathe
    needstofi
    nishwhathestar
    ted.”

    Thi
    sishowi
    tfeel
    swhenpeopl
    epokey
    ou.

    Igr
    abmykey
    sfr
    om t
    het
    abl
    eandhur
    tl
    etowar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    lwher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Heshout
    saf
    terme.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    eani
    tchandI
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    oscr
    atchi
    t.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    back.

    Iheart
    hei
    rfeett
    readi
    ngbehi
    ndme,
    noonewi
    l
    lst
    opme.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    60*

    RANDALL*

    I
    ’m dr
    ivi
    ngf
    ull
    speedtoBoksbur
    g,Iswit
    chedoffmyhumani
    tywhenNeoexpl
    ainedt
    omewhat
    Li
    yanawassubject
    edt
    o.Myphonesr i
    ngs,i
    t’
    sSty
    les.

    Iknowhewi
    l
    lwantt
    ost
    opme,
    heal
    way
    sdoest
    his.

    Ianswerany
    way
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Youwi
    l
    ltur
    nthatcarar
    oundRandal
    landcomebackhome.
    ”

    Hedemands.

    Me:
    "Thati
    snothappeni
    ng.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    l
    ,shei
    sthemot
    herofy
    ourchi
    l
    d.Doy
    ouwantLi
    yanat
    ogr
    owupwi
    thouta
    mother?
    ”

    Me:
    “Li
    yanadeser
    vesbet
    tert
    hanOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “YoumeanAmar
    a?”

    Me:
    “Youdamnr
    ight
    .”

    Styl
    es:“Iknowy
    ouloveAmaraRandallbut
    ,shecannev
    erbeLi
    yana’
    sreal
    mot
    her
    .Whatwi
    l
    lyou
    tel
    lthechil
    dwhensheasksabouther
    ?”

    Dammi
    t.

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    ist
    hisy
    ourwayoft
    ryi
    ngt
    otal
    kmeoutoft
    his?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “YouknowI
    ’
    mtel
    l
    ingt
    het
    rut
    h,t
    hough.
    ”

    Andi
    tannoy
    smesomet
    imes,
    thef
    actt
    hathecant
    alkmeoutoft
    hings.

    Me:
    “WhatdoIdowi
    tht
    hisr
    agei
    nsi
    demeSt
    yles?Ineedt
    ofeedi
    t.
    ”

    Styl
    es:
    “Fornow?Nothi
    ng.Gobackhomet oLiyana,
    sheneedsy ou.Remember,
    Oliv
    iat
    hinks
    you’
    redead.Appr
    oachi
    ngherli
    kethi
    swil
    lalar
    m Mkhize,
    rightnowhisguardi
    sdown.Wear e
    tal
    ki
    ngaboutyourAmaraRandy,l
    et’
    ssav
    eherf ir
    stt
    hen,wewi l
    ldealwi
    thOli
    vi
    a.”

    Thi
    smanneedst
    oshutupbef
    oreIchangeImi
    nd.

    Me:
    “Musty
    oual
    way
    sbet
    hatv
    oiceofr
    eason?Can’
    tyoubeont
    heot
    hert
    eam f
    oronce?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Someonehast
    obeont
    hegoodsi
    de.
    ”

    If
    indmy
    sel
    fpul
    l
    ingupatt
    hegat
    e,t
    hehousel
    i
    ght
    sar
    eon.
    Me:
    “Tool
    ate,
    I’
    m her
    e.”

    St
    yles:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lRandal
    l
    ,tur
    nthatcarar
    ound.
    ”

    Me:“
    Rel
    ax,I
    ’
    llj
    usthav
    ealitt
    lefun.Iwon’
    tki
    ll
    her,Oli
    vi
    awill
    begmetokil
    lheronceI
    ’
    m done.As
    f
    orherr
    unni
    ngtoMkhize,
    that’
    sawi shshewil
    lneverget
    .Iwil
    li
    mpr
    isonheri
    nherownhouse.”

    St
    yles:
    “Whatar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odot
    oher
    ?”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    areal
    mannev
    erki
    ssesandt
    ell
    .”

    Hesi
    ghsatmyr
    esponse.

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    l
    …”

    Icutt
    hecall
    beforehespeaksf
    urt
    her
    ,thatangel
    sideofhi
    m mi
    ff
    smeatt
    imes.I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    o
    needbackuphere,Iknowwhotocal
    l
    .

    “Umkhontoomkhul
    uowanqobai
    zi
    thazakheezi
    namandl
    a.”(
    Thegr
    eatspeart
    hatconquer
    edhi
    s
    str
    ongestenemi
    es.
    )

    Thi
    smani
    sal
    way
    sext
    reme,
    thi
    sishowheanswer
    shi
    sphone.

    Me:
    “Mkhont
    o,br
    ingt
    woofy
    ourbestguy
    s.Iwi
    l
    lsendy
    out
    hel
    ocat
    ion.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“Whoist
    hef
    ool
    thathasdughi
    sowngr
    ave?I
    ’
    m cr
    avi
    ngaf
    uner
    al.Whenl
    astdi
    dIeat
    sev
    encolour
    s?”

    I
    ’
    llsayi
    tagai
    n,hei
    sext
    ra.

    Me:
    “Sor
    ryt
    odi
    sappoi
    nty
    ouman,
    youwon’
    tbef
    eedi
    ngy
    ourcr
    avi
    ngt
    hist
    ime.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Eish,
    ngaml
    a.You’
    reanenemyofpr
    ogr
    essy
    azi
    .”(
    Boss.Youknow.
    )

    Her
    etur
    ns.

    Me:
    “Gi
    vemey
    ourbestMkhont
    o,Idon’
    twantr
    atswho’
    l
    lmessupmypl
    ans.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Uphet
    hwey
    imi
    ngaml
    a.”(
    Igoty
    ou,
    boss.
    )

    Iknowhedoes.

    Thegat
    eisnotl
    ockedasal
    way
    s,It
    readi
    nandknock.

    Thedoorcracksopen,
    herey
    eswi
    deni
    nshockandherj
    awdr
    opsatt
    hesi
    ghtofme.Igr
    eether
    wit
    hasmi r
    k.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Sheal
    mostchokesmynameout
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongOl
    i
    via?Youl
    ookl
    i
    key
    ou’
    veseenaghost
    ?”

    ItauntasIamblei
    n,shepl
    odsback,
    hergazest
    il
    lonme.Iusemyl
    egt
    oshutt
    hedoor
    ,whi
    l
    eI
    toil
    towardsher
    .
    STYLES*

    Idi
    dn’
    texpectt
    hisfoolMbongenitoopenthedoor
    ,Ihadt
    ogot
    oKhet
    hu.Icoul
    dn’
    tsl
    eep
    wit
    houtseei
    ngher.Hisfacechangeswhenheseesme.

    Mbongeni
    :“Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Thener
    ve.

    Me:
    “Icamet
    oseemywoman.Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hui
    ssl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    ljoi
    nhert
    hen.
    ”

    Hebl
    ockst
    hedoorasIt
    ryt
    owal
    kin.

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouwantmet
    owal
    kov
    ery
    ourdeadbodyt
    hat
    ,canbeeasi
    l
    yar
    ranged.
    ”

    Hehuf
    fs.

    Mbongeni
    :“Youar
    enothi
    ngbut,
    awhi t
    ecoll
    arcr
    iminal
    ,youandthat,
    what’
    shi
    sface?You
    commitwhit
    ecoll
    arcr
    imesandthati
    stheonlyr
    easonyouarenotlockedupi
    npri
    sonwhere
    youbel
    ong.
    ”

    Hehast
    hener
    vet
    otauntme.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tli
    key
    ourf
    aceboy
    ,nowmov
    ebef
    oreIr
    ear
    rangei
    t.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Iam notaf
    rai
    dofy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:“Whot
    hefuckdoyouthi
    nky
    ouar
    e?Khet
    hudoesn’
    tneedy ouhere,
    ifmymemor
    yser
    vesme
    r
    ight
    .Shel
    efty
    ouforme,nowgr
    owapai
    randgett
    hehelloutofhere.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“OnedayKhet
    huwi
    l
    lseey
    ouf
    ort
    het
    rashy
    our
    eal
    l
    yar
    e.”

    Me:
    “Wow,
    Trash?Fancy
    .Gett
    hef
    uckoutofmyway
    .”

    Ipushhi
    m asi
    deandhepushesme.Thatal
    onei
    senoughf
    ormet
    oret
    ali
    ate,
    Ipunchhi
    m and
    myblowsendshi
    m cr
    ashi
    ngonthefloor
    .

    Hedi
    rect
    shi
    shandt
    ohi
    smout
    handwi
    pesoutt
    hebl
    oodt
    hathaspai
    ntedhi
    sli
    ps.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tfi
    ghtl
    i
    ttl
    eboy
    s,Iputt
    hem i
    nacor
    ner
    .Now,
    godoy
    ourt
    imeoutmf
    ana.
    ”(Boy
    .)

    Nobay
    eni
    comesr
    unni
    ng.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Whathav
    eyoudone?
    ”

    Shehel
    pshi
    m up.
    Me:
    “I’
    m her
    etoseeKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“You’
    renotwel
    comeher
    e,getout
    .”

    Shesnapsatme,
    Iunder
    standherangerbut
    ,I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.

    Mbongeni
    :“Thi
    smanj
    ustassaul
    tedme,
    arr
    esthi
    m commi
    ssi
    oner
    .”

    Hesni
    tcheswhenDl
    adl
    ast
    rol
    l
    sint
    other
    oom.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Sty
    les?
    ”

    Hegl
    ancesatme,
    themanl
    ooksbr
    oken.

    Me:
    “I’
    m her
    etoseeKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Khet
    hui
    sinherr
    oom.
    ”

    Hepoi
    ntsi
    tout
    .

    Mbongeni
    :“Commi
    ssi
    oner
    ,Iwantt
    opr
    esschar
    ges.Thi
    scr
    imi
    nal
    assaul
    tedme.
    ”

    Hecr
    iesl
    i
    keababy
    .

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Ididn’
    tseeanyt
    hingMbongeni
    ,ifyouwanttopresschar
    gesyouknowwher
    ethest
    ati
    on
    i
    s.Mychi
    ldisi
    ntherehurt
    ingandyou’
    rehereact
    ingl
    ikeahormonalt
    eenager
    .”

    Mbongeni
    glar
    esatme,
    hecan’
    tbel
    i
    eveDl
    adl
    aiscensur
    inghi
    m.Ismi
    rkathi
    sst
    upi
    dit
    y.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Nooner
    espect
    smymot
    her
    ’shouse.
    ”

    Shewhi
    ngeswhi
    l
    ewal
    ki
    ngaway
    .

    Nobay
    eni
    wal
    ki
    ngaway
    ?That
    ’saf
    ir
    st.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    GoaheadSi
    shi
    ,she’
    sbeenwai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    I
    t’snothardtofi
    ndKhet hu’sr
    oom.Thehousei sasinglestoryhouse,i
    t’
    sbigal
    ri
    ght,her
    grandmotherappar
    entlywasn’tfondofstair
    s.So,
    Mdlulibuil
    therthi
    sfamil
    yhome.Thi si
    s
    wher eKhet
    humost l
    ygrewup, she’salwaysbeentheonlychil
    d.Nobayeniwastoobrokento
    mot hermoreki
    ds,shefailedt
    omot herKhet
    huandhavingmor echil
    drenwouldhavebeentoxi
    c
    forherandthechil
    dren.

    Iguessshedi
    dwel
    lbyt
    yinghert
    ubes.

    IopenthedoortoKhethu'
    sbedroom,she’scur
    ledupi naballonherbed.Herpuff
    yr edey
    esfal
    l
    onmeandmypr esenceseemstoconjurethepain,asaheartbreaki
    ngsobgustoutofher
    mouth.Myheartbreaksashercri
    esf
    illmyears,Iscrambleonthebedandt akeherinmyarms.
    Shedescendsinmyencircl
    ementandholdsont omel ikeshe’
    safrai
    doflet
    tinggo,assheyowl
    s
    onmychest .

    Me:
    “I’
    m her
    enow,
    I’
    m her
    emyl
    ove.
    ”
    Iassur
    eher
    .Howdoy
    oucomf
    ortsomeonewhohasl
    ostl
    ovedones?

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbusobroughtpi
    zzahome,Iswearthi
    seccent
    ri
    cfeti
    shhehasf
    orPi
    zzai
    ssuper
    fl
    uous.He
    shoul
    ddoawaywi t
    hit
    ,foradoct
    or,heeat
    sunhealt
    hy.

    We’r
    ewat chi
    ngamovi
    eonthecouch,
    whil
    ehe’shavi
    ngal oveaf
    fairwit
    hsli
    cesofpizza.The
    onl
    ythingIcanst
    omachatt
    hemomentisthi
    sfishIbought,
    Idon’tthi
    nkIhavet
    astedany t
    hing
    sodivi
    ne.

    If
    eel
    hisgazest
    abbi
    ngmef
    rom t
    hesi
    deofmyf
    ace,
    Itur
    nandf
    indhi
    m gl
    ari
    ngatmyf
    ood.

    Me:
    “Youcanaski
    fyouwantsome.Ther
    e’smor
    ewher
    ethi
    scamef
    rom.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m okayt
    hanks.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .Whyar
    eyoust
    ari
    ngt
    hen?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Ist
    hatal
    lyou’
    regoi
    ngt
    ohav
    e?”

    Hemakesaf
    ace.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sbet
    tert
    hant
    hatpi
    zzay
    ou’
    rest
    uff
    ingy
    ourf
    acewi
    th.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Notf
    rom t
    hisv
    iew,
    fishf
    ace.
    ”

    Heboosandhasmel
    aughi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Cal
    lmef
    ishf
    aceagai
    nandIwi
    l
    lshov
    ethi
    sfi
    shbonedowny
    ourt
    hroat
    .”

    It
    hreat
    enwi
    tht
    hebonei
    nhand,
    Mbusogur
    glesandr
    aiseshi
    shandsi
    nsur
    render
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Il
    i
    ket
    hisy
    ouknow?
    ”

    Hebl
    urt
    soutaf
    terr
    ecei
    vi
    ngaser
    iousl
    ook,
    Ismi
    l
    ewai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    mtoexpl
    ainhi
    srandomness.

    Mbuso:“You,
    us.Ili
    kehowy ou’
    renotupt
    ightandar
    efr
    ee-
    spi
    ri
    ted.Youmakeamanwantt
    o
    sendcowstoy ourf
    ather
    .”

    Hespews,
    Iseehim hol
    dingal
    aughbut
    ,minei
    sdisrespectf
    ul.I
    tsur
    gesoutofmymout
    honl
    y
    f
    oritt
    obecontagi
    ousasMbusodivesi
    ntoatr
    undleoflaughter
    .

    Me:
    “Youar
    ethecheesi
    estper
    sonIhav
    eev
    ermet
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “And,
    whosai
    ddoct
    orswer
    eser
    ioussnor
    tybr
    ats?
    ”

    Igi
    ggl
    eathi
    squest
    ion.

    Me:
    “That
    ’st
    heat
    ti
    tudey
    oual
    lcar
    ry.
    ”
    Mbuso:
    “Wesav
    eli
    vesf
    oral
    i
    ving,
    we’
    ret
    her
    eal
    superher
    oes.Letuswal
    konwat
    er,
    please.
    ”

    He’sfunny.I
    ’
    m sti
    ll
    baffl
    edbythethoughtt
    hatthi
    smani smi ne,heli
    ter
    all
    ysawmeandwant ed
    me.Mbusoi snotfrom aweal
    thyfamil
    y,hi
    sparent
    sar epensioner
    swhowor kedhardtoput
    thei
    rchil
    dthroughmedical
    school
    .Hence,thesmallapart
    mentandnotwor kingatalar
    ge
    hospit
    al.Heisashumbledastheycome.

    Me:
    “Noonei
    sst
    oppi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”

    Hiseyesscanmyli
    ps,hel
    eansoverandpeckst
    hem.Ther
    e’st
    hatt
    hingt
    hatsaysIwantmore
    so,Ist
    raddl
    ehi
    m andcagehisl
    i
    pswi t
    hmine.Hi
    shandsgri
    pmywaistashedeepenstheki
    ss,
    hepull
    sbackandmakesaface.

    Mbuso:
    “Yout
    ast
    eli
    kef
    ish.
    ”

    Don’
    tIknowt
    hissaga?Il
    aughandcov
    ermymout
    h,It
    otal
    l
    yfor
    gotaboutt
    hest
    ubbor
    nsmel
    l
    andt
    asteoff
    ish.

    Mbuso:
    “Tel
    lGoku,
    I’
    m nothappywi
    thhi
    sfoodcr
    avi
    ngs.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lpassont
    hemessage.
    ”

    Hesni
    gger
    sbef
    orepul
    l
    ingmebacki
    ntoanot
    herdeepki
    ss.

    Mbuso:
    “Gosh,
    Iwanty
    ousobad.
    ”

    Hisdecl
    arati
    onsendsasur geofshiver
    sdownmyspi ne,I
    ’mlostinhi
    skissesinajif
    fy.Ici
    rcle
    myarmsar oundhisneckashistongueinmymout hdropsmybodyi ntoapool ofheat.Withhis
    handsonmywai st,helay
    smedownont hecouchwit
    houtbreakingt
    hekiss,hi
    shandt rav
    elsup
    fr
    om myst omachtofindthatt
    reasurehehadbeensearchi
    ngf orwhenwef i
    rstki
    ssed.He’s
    tr
    iumphantinat
    tai
    ningit,
    I’
    m wearingabra.Hestops,
    rai
    seshisheavy-l
    i
    ddedey estogoggleat
    me.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    61*

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryIwasn’
    tther
    ewheny
    ouneededme.
    ”

    Herheadisr
    est
    ingonmychest
    ,shehasstoppedcry
    ingbut,
    herbodyist
    rembli
    ng.It
    hought
    hol
    dingheri
    nmyarmswil
    lmakeitst
    op,sheistooshakenandIfeel
    li
    keafai
    lur
    e.

    Khet
    hu:
    “You’
    reher
    enow.
    ”

    Sher
    espondswi
    thal
    owhuskyt
    one.

    Me:
    “AndIwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sbeher
    e.”

    Ipr
    essmyl
    i
    psont
    het
    opofherhead.

    Me:
    “Howi
    syourmot
    herhol
    dingup?
    ”

    Shemustbet
    aki
    ngi
    thar
    d.

    Khethu:“
    Idon’tknow,
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkitmat
    ter
    stomehowsheis.Thatwomanhat esmeSty
    les,
    evenaft
    erfindi
    ngoutthet
    rut
    h,she’
    ssti
    l
    lhost
    il
    etowar
    dsme.Isi
    tmyf aul
    tthatmygr
    andfat
    her
    rapedher?”

    She’
    sbecomi
    ngemot
    ional
    agai
    n.

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,don’
    t.Idon’
    twanty
    ouget
    ti
    ngupset
    ,youknowIcan’
    tseet
    ear
    siny
    ourey
    es.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Whyam Ii
    nsomuchpai
    nSt
    yles?Whatwr
    ongdi
    dIdot
    odeser
    vesuchpuni
    shment
    ?”

    Me:“
    YouareagoodwomanKhethukut
    hul
    aDl
    adl
    a,don’
    tev
    erdoubtt
    hat
    .And,
    you’
    renotal
    one
    i
    nthi
    s.I
    ’
    m her
    e,yourpar
    ent
    sar
    ehere.”

    Sherai
    sesherhead–tear
    swellupi
    nherpuff
    yredey
    es,
    herl
    owerl
    i
    pqui
    ver
    s.Shescr
    unches
    herj
    aw,asift
    oholdbackthet
    earst
    hreat
    eni
    ngherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,no.
    ”

    Iwhi
    spersof
    tl
    yandshebur
    sti
    ntoi
    nconsol
    abl
    etear
    s,Ipul
    lherbacki
    ntomyar
    ms.

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    rySt
    yles,
    thi
    sisal
    ltoomucht
    otakei
    n.”

    Shesay
    sthr
    oughhersnuf
    fl
    es.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tdot
    hist
    oyour
    sel
    fbaby
    ,pl
    ease.
    ”

    Ther
    e’saknockatt
    hedoor
    ,Dl
    adl
    awal
    ksi
    n.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Iwoul
    dli
    keamomentwi
    thmydaught
    erpl
    ease.
    ”
    Khet
    hul
    ooksupathi
    m wi
    thaf
    rownonherf
    ace.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”

    Shesni
    ff
    s.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Iwantt
    omakesur
    eyou’
    reokayangel
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    mfi
    ne.
    ”

    Sheswi
    pesherhandov
    erherey
    es,
    wipi
    ngawayhert
    ear
    s.

    Dladl
    a:“Iwast
    hinki
    ngwecoul
    dtakeawal
    kint
    hegar
    den,
    you’
    vebeenl
    ockedupi
    nthi
    sroom f
    or
    hours.
    ”

    He’
    str
    yingt
    oreachoutt
    oher
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    mfi
    nedad,
    please.
    ”

    Itdoesn’
    tseem l
    ikeDl
    adl
    aisaboutt
    ogi
    veuponhi
    sdaught
    er.May
    beIshoul
    dgi
    vet
    hem space,
    Ijumpoffthebed.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Shef
    rownsatme.

    Me:
    “Gi
    vi
    ngy
    ouspace.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Idon’
    twanty
    out
    ogoSt
    yles.
    ”

    Okay
    ,Il
    ookatDl
    adl
    a.Hescansmewi
    thani
    ntr
    usi
    vel
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Whathappenedt
    oyou?Youl
    ookpal
    e.”

    I
    fhef
    indsoutIwasshot
    ,hewi
    l
    lwantt
    opl
    aypol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cer
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    ne.
    ”

    Act
    ual
    l
    y,Ishoul
    d’v
    erest
    edabi
    t.Mybodyi
    snotst
    rongenoughy
    et.Het
    urnst
    oKhet
    hu.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Angel
    ,I
    ’l
    lmaket
    hatspeci
    alcof
    feey
    oul
    i
    ke.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Idon’
    twantany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Thi
    sisgoi
    ngt
    obeal
    ongr
    oad.

    WhenKhet
    hushut
    sdown,
    shepushesev
    ery
    oneaway
    .Ihopet
    hiswi
    l
    lnotaf
    fectourr
    elat
    ionshi
    p
    i
    nthel
    ongrun.

    Me:
    “He’
    str
    yingKhet
    hu,
    won’
    tyoumeethi
    m hal
    fway
    ?”

    Iaddmyopi
    nion,
    shehat
    eswhatIj
    ustsai
    d.Herf
    acedoesn’
    thi
    deheremot
    ionspr
    ett
    ywel
    l
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    ifIwantcof
    fee,
    Iwi
    l
    lmakei
    tmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Sher
    etor
    ts,
    Dladl
    alookshur
    t.
    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Okayangel
    ,Iwi
    l
    lbeher
    eify
    ouneedany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Hesl
    ouchest
    opeckherf
    oreheadbut
    ,shet
    il
    tsherheadt
    othesi
    de.

    He’
    shur
    tbyhergest
    ure,
    hesaunt
    ersoutoft
    her
    oom andcl
    osest
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Yourf
    atheri
    shur
    ti
    ngt
    oo,
    youknow?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Hehasbeenl
    yi
    ngt
    omemywhol
    eli
    fe.
    ”

    Me:“
    Onl
    ytopr
    otectyoufr
    om t
    het
    rut
    h,t
    hiswoul
    d’v
    ehur
    tyouany
    wayKhet
    huandt
    hisi
    swhat
    hewast
    ryi
    ngt
    oav oi
    d.”

    Ican’
    tletherf
    indoutt
    hatIknew,
    itwi
    l
    ltakeourr
    elat
    ionshi
    ptoapoi
    ntofnor
    etur
    n.

    Khethu:“
    Youdon’tthinkIdeservedtoknowwhymyownmotherhat
    edme, Ispentmyli
    fet
    ryi
    ng
    togethertol
    ovemeSt yl
    es.Clearl
    yIwasthef
    ool
    ,i
    twasnev
    ergoingtohappenbecauseI
    remindherofapainfulpast.
    ”

    Me:
    “Let
    ’snott
    alkabouti
    tany
    mor
    e,i
    t’
    sonl
    ymaki
    ngy
    ouupset
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Pr
    omi
    sey
    ouwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    i
    etomeSt
    yles.
    ”

    Shel
    ooksi
    ntomyey
    es,
    assheasksf
    ort
    hei
    mpossi
    ble.HowcanImakeapr
    omi
    seIcan’
    tkeep.

    Isett
    lebackont
    hebedandt
    akeherhandi
    nmi
    ne,
    Isendi
    ttomymout
    handpl
    antaki
    ssonher
    palm.

    Me:
    “YouknowI
    ’
    m notper
    fectr
    ight
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iknow,
    Ial
    soknowy
    ouwi
    l
    lnev
    erhur
    tmei
    ntent
    ional
    l
    y.”

    Tr
    ue.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erdr
    eam ofhur
    ti
    ngy
    oubaby
    .Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”

    Ipeckherl
    i
    ps.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Won’
    tyouhol
    dme?
    ”

    Icr
    adl
    eheri
    nmyar
    ms,
    assher
    est
    sherheadonmychest
    ,wef
    all
    int
    osi
    l
    ence.

    RANDALL*

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “It
    houghty
    ouwer
    edead.
    ”

    Shedecl
    areswhi
    l
    emov
    ingback.

    Me:
    “Justl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?Ol
    i
    via,
    youmustt
    hinkl
    i
    ttl
    eofme.Iam sodi
    sappoi
    ntedi
    nyou.
    ”
    Shesqueal
    sasherbackhi
    tsagai
    nstt
    hewal
    l
    ,Ihav
    ehercor
    ner
    ed.

    Icl
    enchmyhandonherneckandsqueezet
    ight
    ,depr
    ivi
    ngherofbr
    eat
    h.Shegr
    absmyhandas
    shefr
    ant
    ical
    l
    ytr
    iest
    opullaway.

    Me:“
    Youwantedtoseemywrathr
    ight
    ?Youwant
    edt
    oseet
    hisper
    sonst
    andi
    ngbef
    orey
    ou?I
    t
    oldyounott
    otestmeOli
    vi
    a.”

    Sof
    ar,
    Iam cal
    m,despi
    tet
    hisf
    uryi
    nsi
    deme.

    Hereyespopoutandherfacet
    urnsblue.She’
    ssmot
    her
    ingandIseem t
    olikewhatIsee.Il
    et
    hergo,shef
    all
    sdown,coughscr
    udelyandwheezeswhi
    l
    er ubbi
    ngawaythepainonherneck.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyoudoi
    ngRandal
    l
    ?Youal
    mostki
    l
    ledme.
    ”

    Shecoughsoutt
    hewor
    ds.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    en’
    tst
    art
    edwi
    thy
    ouy
    et.
    ”

    Herey
    eswi
    deni
    nshock.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whatdi
    dIdo?
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’swhaty
    oudi
    dn’
    tdo,
    youf
    ail
    edt
    opr
    otecty
    ourchi
    l
    dfr
    om t
    hatf
    ool
    ,Joseph.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whatdi
    dLi
    yat
    ell
    you?She’
    sly
    ing.
    ”

    Shest
    umer
    s.

    Me:
    “Howdoy
    ouknowshel
    i
    ed,
    ify
    oudon’
    tknowwhatshet
    oldme?
    ”

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Me:
    “I’
    mli
    steni
    ng.
    ”

    Isaycal
    mly
    .

    Oli
    via:
    “Well
    ,whatev
    eri
    tis.Shel
    i
    ed,
    Liy
    ali
    esal
    otRandal
    l
    .Sheev
    engoti
    ntr
    oubl
    eatschool
    becauseofthat
    .”

    Me:
    “That
    ’senough,
    Iwi
    l
    lnother
    eanot
    herwor
    dagai
    nstmychi
    l
    d.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “It
    ’st
    rueRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Enoughwi
    tht
    hegamesOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    Igr
    abherhandandpul
    lherup.

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    oheary
    oupl
    eadf
    ory
    ourl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randypl
    ease,
    I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    shei
    mpl
    oresassheseest
    heser
    iousnessonmyf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Takeof
    fyourcl
    othes.
    ”
    Mycommandhasherf
    rowni
    ngi
    nconf
    usi
    on.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “What
    ?”

    Me:
    “Youhear
    dme.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randypl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “Isai
    d…t
    ake…of
    f…y
    ourcl
    othes.
    ”

    Igr
    owl,shescr
    eamsandheedsmycommand.She’ slef
    tinherundergar
    ment
    s,Igr
    abherhand
    andlughert
    otheki
    tchen.Ipusht
    heki
    tchenchai
    rtoher.

    Me:
    “Si
    t.
    ”

    Sheogl
    esatmei
    nshockbut
    ,si
    tsany
    way
    .

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmeOl
    i
    via.Doy
    ouknowhowdr
    owni
    ngf
    eel
    sli
    ke?
    ”

    Sheshakesherhead.

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyoul
    i
    ket
    oexper
    iencei
    t?”

    Ishootherasl
    ygr
    in.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Pl
    easeRandal
    l
    ,I’
    m sor
    ry.Yes,
    I’
    m abadmot
    herbut
    ,Il
    ovemybaby
    .”

    Me:
    “ShutupOl
    i
    via.Whatdoy
    ouknowaboutl
    ove?
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Iwashi
    ghandi
    tnev
    erhappenedagai
    nIpr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Shef
    inal
    l
    yrev
    eal
    sthet
    rut
    h.

    Me:
    “Now,
    you’
    reaccept
    ingt
    haty
    ou’
    reaj
    unki
    eandy
    ouexposedLi
    yat
    oshi
    t.
    ”

    Sheshakesherhead.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “I’
    m onl
    yhuman,
    Iwast
    empt
    ed.
    ”

    Shej
    ust
    if
    ieshermal
    i
    ciousact
    s.

    Me:
    “Tempt
    ed?Isee.
    ”

    Iopenthepantr
    yandfi
    nda5l
    i
    trebucket
    ,If
    il
    li
    twit
    hcoldwaterandice.Ipl
    acei
    tonthekit
    chen
    tabl
    e.All
    thi
    swhile,
    shei
    swat
    chingmymov ement
    sinsuspense.ShehasnocluewhatIhavei
    n
    stor
    eforher.

    If
    indacl
    othi
    noneoft
    hecabi
    net
    s,i
    t’
    sbi
    genoughso,
    itwi
    l
    ldo.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whatar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odowi
    tht
    hoseRandal
    l
    ?”

    Herv
    oicequi
    ver
    swi
    thf
    ear
    .

    Me:
    “Dr
    owni
    ngl
    essons,
    youneedt
    hem,
    right
    ?”

    Sheopenshermout
    htospeakbut
    ,not
    hingcomesout
    .Tear
    swel
    lupi
    nherey
    es,
    sheknowsI
    ’
    m
    notpl
    ayi
    ng.

    Ther
    e’saknockatt
    heki
    tchendoort
    hat
    ,mustbeMkhont
    o’smen.

    Me:
    “Comei
    n.”

    Isi
    ngwhi
    l
    egr
    inni
    ngatat
    err
    if
    iedOl
    i
    via.Twobi
    gmenwal
    kin.

    Me:
    “Justi
    nti
    me,
    ther
    e’sahosepi
    peout
    side,
    plugi
    tont
    het
    apandbr
    ingi
    ther
    e.”

    Ii
    nst
    ructoneoft
    hem,
    henodsandambl
    esout
    .

    Me:
    “Pl
    acet
    hisov
    erherhead.
    ”

    Acommand,
    tot
    heot
    herguyasIhandhi
    mthet
    owel
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    lpl
    ease,
    thi
    nkofLi
    yana.Don’
    tdot
    his.
    ”

    Herv
    oicei
    sst
    art
    ingt
    oannoyme.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hishowLi
    yanapl
    eadedwheny
    ourboy
    fri
    endwasdr
    owni
    ngher
    ?”

    Thetoweli
    splacedoverherhead,Isetat
    imert
    o30seconds,
    grabt
    hebucketofwat
    erandpour
    i
    toverherheadwhil
    ethisguyholdsherdown.

    She’
    sretchingandfl
    ail
    i
    ngherar
    ms.Thet
    imerst
    ops,
    Iremov
    ethet
    owel
    .Iwat
    chherasshe
    desper
    atelytr
    iest
    ocatchherbr
    eat
    h.

    Me:
    “Howi
    stheexper
    ience?
    ”

    Shest
    if
    lesasob.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Pl
    ease,
    nomor
    e.”

    Me:“
    But,youhaven’
    tanswer
    edmeOl
    i
    via.I
    sthi
    showmybabypl
    eadedf
    orherl
    i
    fewhenJoseph
    wasdrowningher
    ?”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Idon’
    tknowRandal
    l
    ,Idon’
    tknow.
    ”

    Me:“
    Youaredi
    sgust
    ingOli
    vi
    a.Youexposedy
    ourchi
    ldt
    othi
    ngsshe’
    snotmeantt
    osee.Why
    woul
    dyoubesoheartl
    esst
    owardsyourownfl
    eshandbl
    ood?”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Iwasani
    diot
    ,If
    ail
    edherasamot
    her
    .Josephwant
    edt
    oexpl
    ore,
    he…”

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmet
    hatshi
    t.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youknowwhat
    ?Youar
    enotwor
    thi
    t,i
    fyouwer
    enotLi
    yana’
    smot
    hery
    ouwoul
    dbedead.
    ”

    Theguycomesbackwi
    tht
    hehosepi
    pe.

    Me: “Leavethat,
    Iwanty
    outopul
    loutever
    yt el
    ephonecabl
    einthi
    shouse.I
    fther
    e’sWi
    -Fi
    disconnectit
    .Thiswomani
    snottoleav
    ethishouse,Idon’
    twantanyl
    oopholes.Youwil
    lguar
    d
    thisplaceti
    l
    l It
    elly
    ouot
    her
    wiseandburnthosephonesalongwit
    hhers.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    boss.
    ”

    Theoneguyr
    espondsandt
    heyscat
    terar
    oundt
    hehouseatmycommand.

    Me:
    “Goputonsomecl
    othes.
    ”

    Shej
    umpsandscur
    ri
    esbackt
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom,
    Ifol
    l
    owbehi
    nd.She’
    sdonei
    nnot
    ime.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “You’
    renotgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme?
    ”

    Sheappear
    stobet
    hri
    l
    ledbyt
    het
    hought
    .

    Me:“Luckyf
    ory ou,
    Liy
    ananeedsyou.But
    ,youaresti
    l
    l goi
    ngtopayf
    orwhatyouandJosephdi
    d.
    Ial
    soknowt hatyouworkedal
    ongwithMkhizeandFranco,Amarai
    snotwit
    hmebecauseof
    you.
    ”

    Herj
    awdr
    ops.

    Me:“Whathappened?YouthoughtIwoul
    dneverf
    indout
    ?Iwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sbeast
    epaheadofy
    ou
    Ol
    iv
    ia,nowyouwi l
    lbel
    ockedupinthishouse.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Youcan’
    tdot
    hatRandal
    l
    .”

    Me: “
    Wat chme, Iknowyoudon’thaveanyone.Josephwast heonlythi
    ngy ouhadinli
    feso,no
    onewi l
    lbev i
    sit
    ingyou.I
    fyouthi
    nkMkhizewi l
    lcomet oyourrescuethen,youhaveanother
    thi
    ngcomi ng.Thatoldgeezeri
    sbusynursinghisbrokenheart.I
    fyoutryanythi
    ngOli
    via,t
    hose
    menwi llki
    ll
    you.Youwon’ tmakeitt
    othegate.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Ify
    oul
    etmego,
    Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouAmar
    a.Iwi
    l
    lbr
    inghert
    oyou,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    “
    Doneboss,
    ther
    e’sonl
    yonet
    elephoneandnoWi
    -Fi
    .”

    Oneoft
    hemenst
    atesast
    heymar
    chbackt
    otheki
    tchen.

    Me:
    “Good,
    gett
    oyourposi
    ti
    ons.
    ”

    Theynodandwal
    kout
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    l
    ,youcan’
    tleav
    emeal
    onewi
    tht
    hosemen.
    ”

    Me:“
    Thisi
    stomakesurethaty
    oudon’tl
    eavethehousebecauseIam notdonewi
    thy
    ou,
    don’
    t
    wor
    ry,t
    heywon’
    tbot
    heryou.Aslongasyoubehave.
    ”

    Herey
    esscr
    eam hat
    red.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “You’
    reamonst
    erRandal
    l
    ,Ir
    egr
    etev
    ermeet
    ingy
    ou.
    ”

    Ichor
    tl
    eatherwor
    ds,
    ifonl
    ysheknew.

    Me:“OhOli
    vi
    a,Il
    iket
    hesoundofthat
    .Buthey,whatcanwedo?Yousawabeastandcoul
    dn’
    t
    cont
    roly
    ourhormones.Look,
    wherewearetoday.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Ihat
    eyou.
    ”

    JustwhatIwant
    ed.
    Me:
    “Pl
    easesayi
    tagai
    n,Ihav
    enev
    erhear
    dasweet
    ersoundt
    hant
    his.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esi
    nfr
    ust
    rat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Ishoul
    dgetgoi
    ng.Ti
    l
    lwemeetagai
    nbabymama.
    ”

    Ipathercheek,sheshrugsmyhandawaywi thadi
    sgustedlookonherface.Thi
    sismycue,
    thoughIam notsatisfi
    edwithwhatIhav
    edone.Thiswrathstil
    lbur
    nsinme, Sty
    lesj
    usthadt
    o
    behimself.Iwould’
    vedealtwit
    hOli
    viamyownway ,Iam sickofherthi
    nki
    ngshecangetaway
    withanyt
    hingonlybecauseshei st
    hemot herofmychi
    ld.Onemor esli
    pupf r
    om herandIwi
    l
    l
    haveherreunit
    edwi thJoseph.

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbuso:
    “Iwantt
    ofeel
    yourski
    nonmi
    neLel
    o,Iwantt
    omakel
    ovet
    oyou.
    ”

    It
    hinkhe’
    saski
    ngf
    orappr
    oval
    ,thi
    sisaf
    ir
    stf
    orme.

    Ismil
    e,gestur
    ingmyconsent
    .Heper
    ksmyli
    psbef
    orer
    emovingmyt
    -shi
    rt
    ,hetakesoffhisand
    smir
    ksatme.Hebur ieshi
    sheadont
    hecur
    veofmyneckashepl
    ant
    swetkissesthat
    ,leavemy
    bodycoveredingoodbumps.

    Irai
    semyupperbodyatt hefeel
    ofhishandonmyback, al
    lowinghimtounstrapmybr a.I
    t
    l
    oosensi nonecl
    ipandIgaspasIseeitfl
    yacr osstheroom.Notwast i
    ngany ti
    me, hi
    shand
    reachesfort
    hattr
    easur
    eithadbeenlongingfor.Ishiv
    eratt hefeel
    ofi
    shandr ubbi
    ngand
    squeezingmybreast
    ,whil
    ehisli
    pskeepmyf aceent ert
    ainedwi t
    hwetkisses.

    Hescrapeshisli
    psonmyneck, ki
    ssi
    ng,bi
    tingandblowingsoftbr
    eaths.Iam helpl
    essunder
    hi
    m, t
    hereisnoturni
    ngbacknow.Hi smout hfi
    ndsitswayt omyli
    psagainandhi stongue
    pl
    ummet sint
    omymout h,i
    nadesper at
    esearchformine.Myheartfl
    utters,
    Ihav eneverbeen
    ki
    ssedli
    kethisbefor
    e.Idi
    dn’tevenknowsuchki ssesexist
    ed,Mbusohasbui l
    tthisdeepneedin
    meandIwantmor eofhim wit
    hev er
    ytouch.

    Me:
    “Mbuso.
    ”

    Ii
    ntone.

    Ial
    mostcannotr
    ecogni
    zehi
    m wi
    tht
    hosesmal
    ley
    es.
    Mbusoget supandIbashf ul
    lywat
    chhi mremovehisjeans,hiseyesareonmebutt heykeep
    wonderingabout.He’sdoneinaji
    ffyandj
    umpst omyj eans,Iseehim gul
    pashenot i
    cesIhav e
    nounder wearon.He’sti
    midl
    ystar
    ingdownthere,I
    ’mthinki
    nghewi llgetoverwhatheisseei
    ng.
    But,he’
    snotmov ing.I
    ’mlyi
    ngonmyback, onthisbl
    uecouchl ikeathanksgivi
    ngtur
    keythat’
    s
    readytobeputint heoven.

    Me:
    “Mbuso.
    ”

    Isnaphi
    m outofwher
    everhewas,
    hebl
    i
    nks.Good,
    he’
    sst
    il
    lal
    i
    ve.

    He’
    sontopofmeagain,t
    here’
    salookbet
    weenusandIhavenocl
    uewhati
    sbei
    ngsai
    d.The
    momentisr
    atherawkwar
    d,hewantstoki
    ssmeagai
    n,Iseei
    tinhi
    sey
    es.

    Whyi
    shenotdoi
    ngi
    tthen?

    Thenakednessbetweenusseemst ohav
    emadehim ner
    vous,y
    ouwoul
    dt hi
    nkhei
    savi
    rgi
    n.
    Thi
    sisthesamemanwhowaski ssingmedef
    iant
    lyawhil
    eago.May
    be,Ishoul
    dmaket
    hefir
    st
    move,t
    hisstar
    ingcontestwi
    l
    lnottakemetomydesti
    nat
    ion.

    Ourt
    eet
    hcol
    l
    ide,
    aswebot
    hreachf
    ort
    hatki
    ss.Ipul
    lback,
    samet
    imeashi
    m,hef
    rownssof
    tl
    y.

    Whatt
    hehel
    lMbuso?

    Whathappenedt
    othatbol
    dnessy
    ouhel
    daf
    ewsecondsago?

    Thi
    smani
    sbegi
    nni
    ngt
    oannoyme,
    hebet
    terr
    idt
    hatawkwar
    dlookonhi
    sface.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Ihopehehasagoodanswerf
    ort
    his,
    hecl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oatandhi
    sey
    esbuck.

    Mbuso:
    “Sor
    ry,
    I’
    mjustner
    vous.
    ”

    Hemut
    ter
    s,cl
    ear
    inghi
    sthr
    oat
    .Iwantt
    orol
    lmyey
    essobadr
    ightnow.

    Me:
    “May
    beweshoul
    dst
    op.
    ”
    Iwearmyi
    rr
    it
    ati
    ononmyf
    ace.

    Mbuso:
    “No…Iwantt
    odot
    his.
    ”

    Inar
    rowmyey
    esathi
    m,hi
    swei
    ghti
    sonmeandhi
    swar
    m br
    eat
    hishi
    tt
    ingmyf
    ace.Thi
    scannot
    beinvai
    n.

    Me:
    “DoImakey
    ouner
    vous?
    ”

    Thet
    hroatagai
    n.

    Iwi
    l
    ltaket
    hatasay
    es.

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    odot
    his,
    Iwantt
    obey
    our
    sMbuso.
    ”

    Someonehast
    otakeast
    and.

    Mywor
    dsseem t
    ogi
    vehi
    mtheconf
    idencehehadl
    ost
    .

    Hetakesmyl i
    pspri
    soneragai
    n,noteethshat
    ter
    ingthi
    stime.Hegr azeshi
    sli
    psdowntomy
    chest,
    hiswarm br
    eathwhif
    fi
    ngmyski nandheslowlyl
    icksmyni pples,
    Ishi
    verashesl
    urpsmy
    ni
    pple.Whil
    e,hi
    swarm manlyroughhandhassettl
    edformyt hi
    ghs.

    He’
    stouchi
    ngmeinallt
    herightplaces,myhandpl
    aysaparti
    nrubbinghi
    shead,he’
    sbackupi
    n
    aji
    ff
    y,l
    eavi
    ngki
    ssesher
    eandt here.Igl
    i
    demyhandsuponbothsidesofhischest
    .Runni
    ng
    t
    hem downtohi
    slowertor
    so, hischocolat
    ebr
    ownskingl
    eams,Icouldal
    mostli
    ckit.

    Me:
    “Youbel
    ooki
    ngl
    i
    keasnack.
    ”

    Itease,
    wit
    hanaughtysmile,hechor
    tlesandgr
    insatme.It
    ast
    ehi
    sli
    ps,
    thei
    nsat
    iabl
    eki
    ss
    buil
    dsanelect
    ri
    fyi
    ngsensati
    onallov
    ermybody .

    I
    ’m wetandreadyforhi
    m,Iopenmylegswider,
    giv
    inghi
    m accesstomymostsacr edpar
    t.Igr
    it
    myhandsonhi sbackashesli
    psi
    n.Ifeel
    streamsofsensualpl
    easur
    er unthr
    oughmybodyas
    hethr
    ustsinandoutofme,nowI’
    m convi
    ncedthathewasbeinganidiot.
    I
    ’
    m moani
    ngandhe’
    sgr
    oani
    ng,
    it’
    sanexper
    iencel
    i
    kenoot
    her
    .

    Noot hermanhasev erenter


    edmebesi desZumaandt hi
    sfeelsjustri
    ght,i
    t’sl
    ikeheknowshow
    Iwantt obetouchedandki ssed.Thesoftwhisper
    sinmyear ,
    Idon’tknowwhathe’ ssayi
    ng
    but…babyy es…
    Ifeel
    anadr enali
    nlight-
    headedrushtomyheadandat hrobbingfrom betweenmyl egs.I
    t
    gushest hr
    oughmywhol ebody ,
    buil
    dingadeepphy si
    calrel
    i
    ef ,
    li
    kescreami ng.Idi
    gmynai l
    son
    hi
    sbackasIt akeinthisstar
    tl
    ingfeel
    ingthathasmepower lessandscr eamingformore.

    Imoanlouder,
    asIreachmydesti
    nation,
    whil
    ehegroansinmyear.Hepull
    soutandfal
    lsback
    ontheothersi
    deofthecouch,
    theroom isf
    il
    ledwi
    ththesoundofourheav
    ybreat
    hing.

    Me:
    “Thatwassomet
    hing.
    ”

    Iut
    terbet
    weendeepbr
    eat
    hs,
    Mbusor
    aiseshi
    sheadandl
    ooksatmewi
    thadi
    stantsmi
    l
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “Itwas?
    ”

    He’
    slooki
    ngf
    orassur
    ance.Iknowhewasamazi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Itwas.
    ”

    Ir
    espond,
    blushi
    ngl
    y.Asi
    l
    lysmi
    l
    eembr
    aceshi
    sface.

    Me:
    “Ist
    il
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    eveImakey
    ouner
    vous.
    ”

    Het
    it
    ter
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Made.Pastt
    ense,
    itwon’
    thappenagai
    n.”

    Me:
    “Ok’
    sal
    ayoandI
    ’
    m notconv
    incedt
    hati
    twon’
    thappenagai
    n.”(
    Sti
    l
    l.
    )

    It
    easeandgi
    ggl
    eashej
    umpsonme.

    Mbuso:
    “Let
    ’sdoi
    tagai
    n.”
    Hepr
    oposes,
    hisdi
    ssi
    pat
    edey
    esst
    abbi
    ngatmev
    oraci
    ousl
    y.

    Me:
    “Justt
    opr
    ovemewr
    ong?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “May
    be.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    esandst
    eal
    smyl
    i
    ps.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    62*

    KHETHU*

    Ican’
    treall
    ygetasecondwi
    thStyl
    es,
    wi t
    houtRandal
    ljumpi
    ngi
    n.Hehasbeenonthatphone
    cal
    lforawhi l
    enowandIam get
    ti
    ngfrustr
    ated.I
    ’
    ml y
    ingonmybackonthebed,
    waiti
    ngforhi
    m
    tofi
    nishthephonecal
    l.

    He’
    sleani
    ngagai
    nstt
    hebedheadboar
    d,hi
    slegbentandt
    heot
    herst
    ret
    chedout
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Pl
    easet
    ell
    mey
    oudi
    dn’
    tdoi
    t.
    ”

    {
    List
    ens.
    }

    St
    yles:
    “Wel
    l
    ,I’
    m gl
    ady
    ouchangedy
    ourmi
    nd.
    ”

    {
    List
    ens.
    }

    St
    yles:
    “No,
    I’
    m sl
    eepi
    ngov
    er.Khet
    huneedsme.
    ”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Sur
    ebr
    o,makesur
    eLi
    yai
    sokay
    .”

    Igi
    vehi
    m ami
    ff
    edl
    ook,
    hebi
    dshi
    m goodby
    eanddr
    opst
    hecal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Wast
    hatRandal
    l
    ?”

    Iknowi
    twashi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Me:
    “Hecan’
    tgoadaywi
    thoutt
    alki
    ngt
    oyou,
    hey
    .”

    Hef
    urr
    owshi
    sbr
    owswhi
    l
    ejudgi
    ngmewi
    thhi
    sey
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    li
    sgoi
    ngt
    hroughsomet
    hingKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m al
    sogoi
    ngt
    hroughsomet
    hingSt
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Iknow,
    that
    ’swhyI
    ’
    m her
    e.”

    Me:
    “It
    ’snotenoughi
    fyouspendmostoft
    het
    imet
    alki
    ngt
    ohi
    m.”

    St
    yles:
    “Canwenotgot
    her
    e,pl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “What
    everSt
    yles.
    ”

    Hegr
    imaces,
    hedoesn’
    tli
    kemywor
    ds.

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ’st
    hepr
    obl
    em?
    ”
    Me:
    “Not
    hing.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Doy
    ouknowRandal
    lcar
    esabouty
    our
    ight
    ?”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    tgety
    ouri
    ssuewi
    thhi
    m,he’
    snotabadper
    son.
    ”

    Thi
    s,r
    ighther
    eiswhatIhat
    e,St
    ylesal
    way
    sst
    andi
    ngupf
    orRandal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Yeahsur
    ehe’
    snot
    .”

    Ihuf
    f.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m st
    il
    lwai
    ti
    ngf
    ort
    hepar
    twher
    eyout
    ell
    mewhaty
    ourpr
    obl
    em wi
    thRandal
    li
    s.”

    DoeshenotseewhatIsee?

    Me:
    “Exceptf
    ort
    hef
    actt
    hathebossesov
    ery
    ou.Not
    hing.
    ”

    Hi
    sfacechangesashesneer
    satme.

    St
    yles:
    “Wher
    edi
    dyougett
    hati
    deaf
    rom?
    ”

    Me:
    “Iseei
    t.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    reseei
    ngt
    hings.
    ”

    Hepul
    l
    sback,
    thi
    siswhatpi
    quesme.Hi
    smoodchangeswhenIt
    ryt
    owar
    nhi
    m abouthi
    sfr
    iend.

    Me:“
    I’
    m not
    , St
    yles.WhenRandall
    cal
    ls,
    youjump.Whenhesayscome,your
    untohi
    m wi
    thouta
    t
    houghttoi
    t.Youf or
    getev
    eryt
    hingar
    oundyouandRandal
    lbecomestheonl
    ythi
    ngt
    hat
    matt
    ers.
    ”

    Il
    eti
    tal
    lout
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ify
    ouhadsi
    bli
    ngs,
    youwoul
    dunder
    stand.
    ”

    Her
    eact
    sthr
    oughgnashedt
    eet
    h,he’
    supset
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    renotr
    elat
    edt
    oRandal
    lSt
    yles,
    youdon’
    thav
    etol
    ethi
    m cont
    rol
    you.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“Iam r el
    atedt
    ohi m,he’
    smybr other.YouknowIhadnoonewhenImetRandal l
    ,hewas
    theonlyper sonwhoact ual
    l
    yst ay
    edwhenev ery
    oneleft
    .Evenmysi
    sterl
    eftmeKhet
    hu,Randal
    l
    wast here.Ihadconvincedmy sel
    fthatIwascur sedandgaveuponl
    ifebut,
    hest
    ayed.Youhave
    noideawhatwehav ebeenthroughtogether.
    ”

    Me:
    “So,
    hef
    eel
    sli
    key
    ouowehi
    m?That
    ’sl
    ow.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wow!I
    ’
    m nothav
    ingt
    hisconv
    ersat
    ionwi
    thy
    ouKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Me:“
    Well,
    toughSt y
    les,
    we’regoi
    ngt
    ohavethi
    sconversat
    ionbecauseIam t
    ir
    edofcompeting
    wi
    thyourfr
    iend.Iam mourni
    ngandgoi
    ngthr
    oughshitbut
    , Ican’
    tev
    enhaveallofy
    ou.For
    ,how
    l
    ongmustwespl ityoui
    ntotwo?”
    Styl
    es:
    “Notl
    ongenoughifyoukeepthisatt
    it
    ude,Iam t
    ir
    edofthisKhethu.You’r
    eseeingt
    hings
    andmakingupyourownconclusi
    ons,Idon’
    twanttofi
    ghtwithyou.You’r
    einpain,can’
    tI
    suppor
    tyouinpeace?Thi
    sli
    tt
    leobsessionyouhaveoverRandal
    lmustst op,i
    t’
    sunattr
    act
    ive.
    ”

    Hesnapsatme,ther
    ewasatimeIsai
    d,I
    ’myett
    oexper
    iencehi
    swr
    athandIt
    hinki
    t’
    sref
    lect
    ing
    i
    nhiseyesr
    ightnow.Heget
    supandplodst
    owardst
    hedoor.

    Me:
    “St
    yleswai
    t.
    ”

    Het
    urnst
    ome,
    Ipout
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Iwon’
    tbr
    inghi
    m upany
    mor
    e.”

    Hel
    eansbackagai
    nstt
    hedoorandr
    eleasesal
    ongsi
    ghofexhaust
    ion.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ogetsomeai
    r.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    mti
    redofbei
    ngi
    nthi
    sroom.Canwegooutf
    orsomeai
    rtoget
    her
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Wher
    edoy
    ouwantt
    ogo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Any
    wher
    ebut
    ,her
    e.”

    Her
    eacheshi
    shandoutt
    ome,
    Ijumpf
    rom t
    hebedandt
    akei
    t.

    RANDALL*

    Day
    slat
    er.

    Todayisthedayweexecut
    eourplan.Myhousei
    stoocrowdedso,wearegat
    heredatSt
    yles’
    house.Khethui
    snothome,shei
    sathergrandmot
    her
    ’shouse.Thefuner
    alwasonWednesday ,
    sheistaki
    ngevery
    thi
    ngbad.

    Shehasbecomet hi
    sangr
    ypersonandrefusest
    ospeaktosomeone,
    Sty
    leshasgi
    venuptry
    ing.
    Heseemsdrainedaswell
    ,he’
    snottheSty
    lesIknow.It
    hinkt
    heyar
    ehavi
    ngprobl
    ems,St
    yles
    hasn’
    trev
    eal
    edmuch.

    Justthatshewatcheshi
    mli
    keahawk,
    cal
    l
    shim nonest
    opwhenhe’
    snothomeandst
    art
    s
    unnecessaryf
    ight
    s.We’r
    egat
    her
    edint
    hel
    ounge.

    Mymi
    ndi
    smuddl
    edasInot
    icescr
    atchmar
    ksonhi
    sar
    m.

    Me:
    “Di
    dyougetacat
    ?”

    Ipr
    y,heisnotacatper
    son.Hefr
    ownsatme,
    conf
    usi
    ont
    easi
    nghi
    mforamomentt
    her
    e,bef
    ore
    hefi
    guresoutt
    hereasonformyi
    nqui
    ry.

    St
    yles:
    “No.
    ”

    Hesay
    sashepul
    l
    sdownt
    hesl
    eev
    esofhi
    st-
    shi
    rt
    ,thosel
    ookl
    i
    kenai
    lmar
    ks.
    Me:
    “Whathappenedt
    oyourar
    mthen?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Imusthav
    escr
    atchedmy
    sel
    forsomet
    hing,
    Idon’
    tknowRandal
    l
    .”

    Hi
    svoi
    cesay
    sst
    opgr
    il
    li
    ngme,
    Iwon’
    tcont
    inuebut
    ,IknowKhet
    hudi
    dthi
    stohi
    m.

    Neo:
    “Whatar
    eyout
    wowhi
    sper
    ingabout
    ?”

    Me:
    “Who’
    swhi
    sper
    ing?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Uenal
    eSt
    ylos.
    ”(YouandSt
    yles.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “Canwegetst
    art
    ed?
    ”

    If
    orgott
    oment
    iont
    hathe’
    sbeengr
    umpy
    .

    Neol
    ooksatmeandpoi
    ntsatSt
    yleswi
    thhi
    sey
    ebr
    ows,
    Ishr
    ug.Ihav
    enoexpl
    anat
    ionf
    orhi
    s
    moodswings.

    St
    yles:“
    Thi
    siswhat
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.Ther
    ewi
    l
    lbeapol
    i
    cer
    aid,
    Ihav
    ethewhol
    eswar
    tteam
    onstandby
    .”

    Neo:
    “Swar
    tteam St
    ylos?Ihaveafami
    lyntwana,
    mmewakaobatlahoreketr
    oue.Thatol
    d
    womanwantsadaughterin-
    law.Howwil
    lIgi
    veheronewhenI
    ’
    mlockedupinjai
    l
    ?”(Mymother
    want
    smetogetmar r
    ied.”

    St
    yles:
    “Whywoul
    dyougot
    ojai
    l
    ?”

    Neo:
    “Bat
    hobaohabanthat
    eSt
    ylos,
    youwon’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    heencount
    ersIhav
    ehadwi
    tht
    hem.
    ”
    (
    Thosepeopl
    edon’
    tli
    keme.
    )

    Nkomo:
    “Neo,
    I’
    m pr
    ett
    ysur
    ethosear
    en’
    treal
    cops.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Theyar
    e.”

    Me:
    “Ist
    hatagoodi
    deaman?
    ”

    St
    ylesandhi
    sdeal
    i
    ngs,
    Iknowhehasconnect
    ionsbut
    ,wehav
    etobecar
    eful
    aboutt
    his.

    St
    yles:
    “Youguy
    shav
    en’
    tli
    stenedt
    omypl
    any
    et.
    ”

    Neo:
    “It
    ’senought
    haty
    ousai
    dswar
    tteam,
    itcan’
    tbegood.
    ”

    Me:“Iagr
    eewit
    hNeo,
    we’
    regoi
    ngaf
    terMkhi
    ze.I
    t’
    snotgoi
    ngt
    obeapr
    ett
    yscene,
    peopl
    ewi
    l
    l
    endupdead.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoupl
    easel
    i
    sten.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    svoi
    ce,
    wegi
    vehi
    mtheat
    tent
    ionheseeks.

    St
    yles:
    “Randy
    ,remembert
    hatguywhohookedusupwi
    tht
    hepol
    i
    cecar
    sandhel
    i
    copt
    ers.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yeah.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “He’
    sabi
    goneatt
    hest
    ati
    on.Hegotust
    hewhol
    eswar
    tteam,
    theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    orai
    d
    Mkhi
    ze’
    shouse.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Rai
    d?”

    St
    yles:
    “Yes,
    adr
    ugr
    aid.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Letmegett
    hisst
    rai
    ght
    ,youpl
    ant
    eddr
    ugskwaMkhi
    ze?Nkomo,
    didy
    ouheart
    hat
    ?”

    Neot
    hough.

    St
    yles:
    “Damn!Ishoul
    d’v
    edonet
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “Sot
    her
    ear
    enodr
    ugs?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Thepl
    anoft
    heswar
    tteam i
    stodi
    str
    actt
    hem whi
    l
    ewegoi
    nandgetAmar
    a.”

    Nkomo:
    “Cool
    ,thatsoundsgood.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Manasl
    ongast
    hosepeopl
    est
    ayoutofmyway
    ,thenI
    ’
    min.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ’supwi
    thy
    ouandt
    hemeni
    nbl
    ue?
    ”

    Neo:“Ihavefoundmyselfonthewrongsideoft
    helawplent
    yofti
    mes.Wher edoyouthi
    nkIgot
    moneyt obuil
    dthatl
    it
    tl
    ebusinessIhave?Thi
    sisthereal
    worl
    dman, onahanahoreHarr
    iet
    Khozaor at
    ahobadr ugqueen?Cleanmoneydoesn’tcomeeasy
    .”(DoyouthinkHar
    ri
    etKhoza
    l
    ovesbeingadr ugqueen?)

    He’
    sri
    ght
    .

    Me:
    “Noonei
    sper
    fecti
    nthi
    sroom,
    weal
    lhav
    eourf
    laws.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Bozza,
    I’
    m anangel
    compar
    edt
    oyouandSt
    ylos.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yout
    alkt
    oomuchNeo.
    ”

    Hehuf
    fs.

    St
    ylesspr
    eadsamapoutont
    het
    abl
    e.

    Neo:
    “St
    ylos,
    amapmar
    a?You’
    rel
    osi
    ngy
    ourt
    ouch.Whathappenedt
    otechnol
    ogy
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    "Neoshuty
    ourassup.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Neo:
    “Desper
    atet
    imescal
    lfordesper
    atemeasur
    es,
    babol
    elasena.
    ”(Theymeant
    his.
    )

    St
    ylessi
    ghsbef
    orehecont
    inuest
    odr
    awont
    hemap,
    wegl
    ancei
    nsuspense.

    Styl
    es:
    “Thi
    sisthemaptohishouse,
    we’
    regoi
    ngt
    oent
    ert
    hrought
    hewestwi
    ng.Ther
    ear
    e
    aboutt
    wentyguardst
    her
    e.”

    Neo:
    “Twent
    yguar
    dsandf
    ourofus?Thi
    sisadeat
    hchase.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Notonl
    yar
    ether
    etwent
    yguar
    dsNeo,
    ther
    e’sar
    medt
    axi
    dri
    ver
    saswel
    l
    .”
    Me:
    “Wecangethel
    p,Mkhont
    ocanbr
    inghi
    scr
    ew.
    ”

    Isuggest
    .

    St
    yles:
    “No,
    wecan’
    ttr
    ustany
    one.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Wecant
    aket
    hem down,
    we’
    vedonet
    hisbef
    ore.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “He’
    sright
    .Amar ai
    sbeingkepti
    ntheeastwing,
    there’
    sthesamenumberofguards.
    Twoofthem areguar
    dingherdoor
    ,Kaziwil
    lbewait
    ingforusther
    e.Shewi
    ll
    dealwi
    ththem.”

    Neo:
    “Joang?
    ”(How?
    )

    St
    yles:
    “Sheknowswhatt
    odo.
    ”

    Neol
    aughs.

    Neo:
    “Ai
    thatot
    hergender
    .”

    Nkomochuckl
    es,
    he’
    sbegi
    nni
    ngt
    ofi
    ndNeoamusi
    ng.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lgetAmar
    a.”

    Iof
    fer
    .

    St
    yles:
    “NoRandy
    ,you’
    ret
    ooemot
    ional
    l
    yinv
    olv
    edi
    nthi
    s,y
    oumi
    ghtr
    iski
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m get
    ti
    ngAmar
    a,St
    yles.
    ”

    Ipush,
    ster
    nly
    .Hegl
    ancesatmef
    orawhi
    l
    e,t
    henshr
    ugs.

    St
    yles:
    “Okay
    .We’
    l
    lgoi
    nsepar
    atecar
    s,wecan’
    tri
    skr
    idi
    ngt
    oget
    her
    .Itwi
    l
    llooksuspi
    cious.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Wi
    thNkomoi
    nthecar
    ,yes,
    itwi
    l
    llooksuspi
    cious.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Uy
    inj
    ant
    wana.
    ”(You’
    readog.
    )

    Sty
    les:“Guysl
    i
    sten,wehavet
    obesmar taboutthi
    s.Randall
    ,aft
    eryougetAmar
    a,usetheback
    door.Therewi
    llbeacarandadr
    iverwait
    ingforyou,
    I’
    m prett
    ysureMkhizewi
    ll
    beafteryou.

    Me:
    “Goti
    t.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Nnaket
    laet
    saeng?
    ”(Whatwi
    l
    lIdo?
    )

    St
    yles:
    “We’
    l
    lbeonst
    andbyj
    usti
    ncaseourcov
    eri
    sbl
    own,
    that
    ’swhent
    hepar
    tywi
    l
    lbegi
    n.”

    Hesni
    gger
    s.

    Neo:
    “Can’
    tIbei
    nthecarwai
    ti
    ngf
    orUzeandhi
    sMi
    ss?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “No.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Umuntuuyafamoesnamhlanj
    e.I
    ’m goi
    ngtocal
    lmymotherso,
    shecanl
    eadmet
    othe
    sal
    vat
    ionpr
    ayer
    .IfIdi
    eatl
    eastI
    ’
    llgotoheaven.
    ”(I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    odietoday.
    )

    Hemumbl
    esasheget
    sup,
    Nkomol
    aughs.
    MOSES*

    <<<Thul
    athul
    ,thul
    ababa,
    thul
    asana.>>>(
    Keepqui
    etmychi
    l
    d.Keepqui
    etmybaby
    .)

    <<<Thul
    ’
    ubabuzof
    ika,
    ekuseni
    .>>>(
    Bequi
    et,
    daddywi
    l
    lbehomebydawn.
    )

    Ihav
    ebeenhearingthissongf orthepastf
    ewdays,
    Ithi
    nkI’
    ml osingmymi ndduetobeing
    l
    ockeduphere.Atfi
    rstitsoundedl i
    kei
    twasinmyheadbut,i
    tgetsr ealwi
    theachpassi
    ngday.I
    mustbelosi
    ngmymi ndhonest l
    y.Whowouldn’
    t,
    aft
    erbei
    ngincarceratedi
    naroom assmallas
    atoi
    let
    ?Mybedr oom isbiggerthanthi
    sdump.

    There’
    sasinglemetalbedandabl anket
    ,thebastar
    ddidn’
    tgiv
    emeapill
    owt orestmyheadat
    ni
    ght,Ihavet
    ousemyar m.Theygav emeabuckett ousewhenIneedtogo.Mkhizesaidwhy
    shouldIl
    iv
    elikeaki
    ngwhenI ’m goingtodiesoon?Thatmanhassomuchhat redinhi
    sheart
    ,
    hehasnocompassi on.Atti
    mesIwonderhowhewasabl etofi
    ndwi
    vesforhimself
    ,nohuman
    wouldwanttoassociatet
    hemselveswi t
    hsuchanev il
    man.

    Ishutmyear
    str
    yingt
    ocl
    ogt
    hesong,
    it’
    sget
    ti
    ngl
    ouder
    .

    Wai
    t!Thatv
    oice,
    Iknowt
    hatv
    oice.

    <<<Thul
    athul
    ,thul
    ababa,
    thul
    asana.>>>(
    Keepqui
    etmychi
    l
    d,keepqui
    etmybaby
    .)

    <<<Thul
    ’
    ubabuzof
    ika,
    ekuseni
    .>>>(
    Bequi
    et,
    daddywi
    l
    lbehomebydawn.
    )

    No, Ir
    ecognizet
    hisv oi
    ce.Ihavehear ditsomewhere.Whydoesitinst
    ilf
    eari
    nme?Igetupfrom
    thebedast hesinginggetslouder,
    Ithinkther
    e’ssomeoneintheroom withme.Icanf
    eel
    their
    presence,t
    hesingingturnsintosni
    ffs.

    Me:
    “Hay
    yi!
    !!
    ”

    Iscr
    eam andj
    erkbackasamal efi
    gureappear
    snexttome,he’
    ssitti
    ngonthefl
    oor.Hi
    sbacki
    s
    agai
    nstt
    hewallandhisheadisbowed,l
    ikehe’
    sinagony.Hi
    spresenceal
    oneisenoughtomake
    mybodyshudderinfear
    ,dri
    psofsweatinst
    ant
    lyfal
    lfr
    om myface.

    Me:
    “Ungubani
    wena?
    ”(Whoar
    eyou?
    )

    If
    orcemyv
    oiceoutandi
    tbr
    eaksasi
    tleav
    esmymout
    h.

    “
    Inganey
    ami
    iyakhal
    a,mt
    hul
    i
    se.
    ”(Mychi
    l
    discr
    ying,
    paci
    fyher
    .)

    Hesni
    vel
    swi
    thabr
    okenhear
    t.

    Iknowt
    hatv
    oice,
    mymi
    ndf
    ail
    stor
    ecal
    lwher
    eIhav
    ehear
    dit
    .

    Me:
    “Ungubani
    ?”(
    Whoar
    eyou?
    )

    Thi
    sist
    heonl
    ythi
    ngIcansay
    ,I’
    mtoopet
    ri
    fi
    edt
    oconv
    ersewi
    tht
    hiscel
    est
    ial
    bei
    ng.
    Her
    aiseshi
    sheadandIscr
    eam i
    nfr
    ightandt
    umbl
    eont
    hef
    loorwhenmyey
    esr
    ecogni
    zet
    he
    f
    amil
    iarf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Hay
    yi,
    Vusamazul
    u?Hay
    yi,
    ufi
    l
    ewena,
    ufi
    l
    e.”(
    No,
    you’
    redead.
    )

    Iscr
    eam.

    Zul
    u:“
    Inganey
    ami
    iyakhal
    aMoses,
    mthul
    i
    se.
    ”(Mychi
    l
    discr
    yingMoses,
    paci
    fyher
    .)

    Me:
    “Hay
    yi,
    is’
    poki
    ,hay
    yi,
    hay
    yi.Si
    zani
    ,si
    zani
    .”(
    No,
    aghost
    .Hel
    p,hel
    p.)

    Zul
    u:<<<Thul
    athul
    ,thul
    ababa,
    thul
    asana.>>>(
    Keepqui
    etmychi
    l
    d,keepqui
    etmybaby
    .)

    <<<Thul
    ’
    ubabuzof
    ika,
    ekuseni
    .>>>(
    Bequi
    et,
    daddywi
    l
    lbehomei
    nthemor
    ning.
    )

    Hesingsashedr
    opshi
    sheadandv
    ani
    shesl
    i
    kehewasnev
    ert
    her
    e,Isquawkandev
    ery
    thi
    ng
    bl
    acksout.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    63*

    NTOMBI
    *

    “
    Jonasut
    hiwenzeni
    ?”(
    Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    )

    IshoutasIt
    readbehi
    ndhi
    m,hecametomyroom anddr
    oppedabombonmethathewentt
    o
    seesomeonewhocastaspel
    lonMoses.Hei
    snotevenashamedoft
    ell
    i
    ngmethi
    s.

    Hest
    opsandt
    urnsf
    uri
    ousl
    y,t
    hel
    ooki
    nhi
    sey
    eshasmest
    agger
    ingbacki
    nfear
    .

    Jonas:“Ut
    hiJonaskubani
    wena?Usuy
    adel
    elaNt
    ombi
    neh?
    ”(Whoar
    eyoucal
    l
    ingJonas?You’
    re
    di
    srespect
    fulnow?)

    Me:
    “Howwi
    l
    lIr
    espectsomeonewhodoesn’
    trespectmyhome?
    ”

    Ishout
    ,hel
    aughsandt
    urnst
    opr
    oceedwi
    thhi
    swal
    k.

    Me:“
    Jonasngi
    khul
    umanawe?Wenzeni
    kumy
    eni
    wami
    ?”(
    I’
    mtal
    ki
    ngt
    oyouJonas.Whatdi
    dyou
    dot
    omyhusband?)

    Iscr
    eam behi
    ndhi
    m,wegett
    othel
    i
    vingar
    ea,
    thi
    siswhenhest
    opst
    ogi
    vemet
    heat
    tent
    ionI
    want.

    Jonas:“Ungizwil
    eNt ombi,thatuselesshusbandofy ourswill
    payforallhi
    sevil
    deeds.
    UzohlanyauMoses, uzozulazulaemi gwaqweni,ememezai zonozakhe.UyabonayonkeleVaal
    ?
    Theywi ll
    knowhowev i
    lMosesi s,NginguJonaskay ionemina,uphunyukabamphethe.”(
    Moses
    wil
    llosehismi nd,hewil
    lroam ar oundthestreetsconfessi
    nghissins.Al
    lofVaalwi
    llknow
    aboutit.Noonemesseswi thme. )

    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evemybr
    otherhasdonet
    hist
    ome.

    Me:“Jonas,ngi
    yakucel
    abhutiwami ,r
    eversethecur
    sepl
    ease.Mosesi
    smyhusband,
    ngi
    zoyit
    holaphi
    enyeindoda.Lookatme, I
    ’
    m damagedgoods.Whowil
    ll
    ovemeli
    kethi
    s?”
    (Pl
    easemybr other
    .WherewillIgetanotherman?)

    Jonas:
    “Eyy!Wazewangi
    phoxawesisi
    ,vukaNt
    ombi.I
    mpi
    loakuy
    onai
    ndoda.
    ”(Youhav
    e
    di
    sappoint
    edmesist
    er,wakeup.Li
    fei
    snotall
    aboutaman.
    )

    Me:
    “Jonasungay
    enzi
    lent
    ongi
    yakucel
    a.”(
    Pleasedon’
    tdot
    his.
    )

    Jonas:
    “It
    ’sdoneNt
    ombi
    ,uVusamazul
    uuzodeal
    ernay
    euMoses.
    ”(Vusamazul
    uwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    h
    Moses.)

    Me:
    “Hay
    yibhut
    i.
    ”(Nobr
    other
    .)

    Iwai
    lasIseeMhambi
    wal
    kint
    hehousewi
    thPet
    uni
    a.

    Mhambi
    :“Manj
    e?”(
    Andt
    hen?
    )
    Ir
    usht
    ohi
    m.

    Me:“Mhambi,
    ubhut’
    Jonasuphazami
    saumphef
    umul
    owakaNkosi
    yabo.
    ”(Jonasi
    sdi
    stur
    bing
    Nkosi
    yabo’
    ssoul
    .)

    Mhambi
    :“Hai
    bo!Kanj
    ani
    ?”(
    How?
    )

    Jonas:“Bengi
    shil
    oMhambi ukuthi
    uZuluuzodeal
    ernoMoses.Sesi
    fi
    ki
    lei
    sikhathi
    mf owet
    hu,
    oShengebazoyil
    walempi.”(It
    oldyouMhambithat
    ,Zul
    uwil
    ldealwi
    thMoses, t
    hetimehas
    comef orourancest
    orst
    of i
    ghtourbat
    tl
    es.
    )

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouhearhi
    m Mhambi
    ?Ubut
    hakat
    hil
    obu.
    ”(Thi
    siswi
    tchcr
    aft
    .)

    Mhambi :
    “HayiNtombi,y i
    ceboeli
    hlelel
    i.Umyeniwakhousihluli
    le.NkosiyaboVusamazul u
    Buthel
    ezi
    ,il
    weleindodakazi y
    akho.Lwelaigazi
    lakhoShenge, Sokwalisa,Phungashe,Mnyamana
    kaNgqengelel
    e!Mnandi ngamondi!Wen’ owadl
    iwa‘zi
    ndlovukazi zamlobolel
    a!Ninaziny
    awo
    ezi
    mahhele,enaganis’
    izintombinanganyenangambili
    .Angekeuzeusi phoxeZulu,buyi
    sa
    i
    ndodakaziyakhoekhay a.”

    (No,Nt ombi.Thi
    sisagoodi dea,yourhusbandhasdefeat
    edus.Nkosi
    yaboVusamazul
    u
    Buthelezi,
    fightf
    oryourdaughter
    .Fightforyourbl
    ood.
    )(Cl
    ansprai
    ses.
    )(Youwil
    lnev
    er
    disappointusZulu,
    bringyourdaughterhome. )

    Iscream andcar
    rymyhandsonmyhead,
    myhear
    tbr
    eaksf
    orMoses.Ev
    enMhambi
    hast
    urned
    hisbackonme.

    Jonas:
    “Makubenj
    alo.
    ”(Leti
    thappen.
    )

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    wenzani
    ?Wenzani
    Mhambi
    .”(
    Mhambi
    whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    )

    Iy
    ell
    ,theygl
    areatme,
    asi
    fIam cr
    azy
    .

    Theydon’
    tcar
    eaboutt
    heset
    ear
    sst
    reami
    ngdownmyf
    ace.WhodoIt
    urnt
    owhenev
    ery
    onehas
    tur
    nedagai
    nstme?

    Petuni
    a:“
    ThulaNtombi,okok’
    qal
    ay ouar
    enotaBut helezi
    wena.Usuyi
    ngxeny
    ey omndeni
    wakwa
    Mngoma.That’swhyyoudon’tcareaboutAmara,ubusyMosest hi
    s,Mosesthat
    .
    UzokungwcabayedwaloyoMosesndi ni
    .”(
    ShutupNt ombi,f
    ir
    stl
    y,y
    ouarenotaButhel
    ezi
    .
    Moseswillbur
    yyoualone.)

    Shescr
    eamsatmeandt
    hataggr
    avat
    esme.

    Me: “
    Ukhulumangani wenaPet uni
    a.Justbecauseyou’
    remar r
    iedtomybr other,
    doesn’
    tmean
    youcancomeher ewi t
    hy ourtwocents.You’r
    eanon-factorPetuni
    a,youdon’taddval
    uetot his
    famil
    y .Youcouldn’
    tevengi v
    eubhut i
    izi
    nganezesil
    i
    sa.Umuzi wakhougcwel eizi
    ntombizodwa,
    kuyafananokuthiuyinyumbawena. ”(Whyar eyoutal
    kingPetunia?Youfai
    ledtogivemybr other
    malechi l
    dren,
    youarel i
    keabar renwoman.)

    Iy
    elpbackatherwi
    thsomuchr
    age,
    Idon’
    tcar
    ewhatany
    onet
    hinksany
    mor
    e.

    Jonassl
    apsmeacr
    ossmyf
    ace,
    hissl
    apsendsmet
    othef
    loor
    .
    Il
    ookupathi
    m,t
    hisi
    sthesecondt
    imehehasl
    aidhi
    sfi
    l
    thyhandsonme.

    Jonas:“
    Ngi zokubul
    alawenaNt ombi
    ,yezwa?Qhubekangal
    okuhlanyakwakho,
    Iwill
    notallow
    youtodisrespectmybr otheri
    nmypresence.Mhambii
    squietandsoftbut,
    Iwil
    lnottol
    erate
    yourbul
    lshit.
    ”(Iwil
    lki
    ll
    y ouNtombi
    ,youhear?Carr
    yonwithyourcrazi
    ness.
    )

    Me:
    “Uy
    angi
    shay
    aJonas.
    ”(Youhi
    tmeJonas?
    )

    Jonas:
    “Uyaqhubekanokungi
    bizaJonas?Uhl
    any
    isway
    ini
    Not
    mbi
    ?Tel
    lusso,
    wecangety
    ou
    hel
    p.”(
    Youcontinuet
    ocallmebymyname?What ’
    smaki
    ngy
    oul
    oseyourmi
    nd?
    )

    Me:
    “Ngi
    cel
    ani
    phumekwami
    ,nonke.
    ”(Getoutofmyhouseal
    lofy
    ou.
    )

    Ihowl
    asIbr
    ingmy
    sel
    fupf
    rom t
    hef
    loor
    .

    Jonas:“WenanoMosesniyasi
    kwel
    eta,
    wear
    enotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    eunt
    ilAmar
    awal
    kst
    hrough
    thatdoor.
    ”(YouandMosesoweus.)

    Me:“Ni
    funaukubonaubuthakat
    hi?Ngi
    zoni
    khombi
    saubut
    hakat
    hi.
    ”(
    Youwantt
    oseewi
    tchcr
    aft
    ?I
    wi
    ll
    showy ouwitchcr
    aft
    .

    Jonashasdonehi
    swor
    st,
    Iam nol
    ongeraf
    rai
    dofhi
    snextmov
    e.

    Ist
    orm outoft
    hehouseandbangt
    hedoorbehi
    ndme.

    STYLES*

    Mymoodhasgot t
    enbetter
    ,spendingti
    mewi t
    htheseidi
    otshashelped.Theyli
    ter
    all
    ypushmy
    t
    roubl
    esaside.Theplanison,wear ewait
    ingf
    ornightti
    methen,westrike.Wearesti
    ll
    hangi
    ng
    i
    nthelounge,conver
    singandreminisci
    ngonoldti
    mes.Ican’tbel
    i
    ev eIgrewupwi t
    hthesei
    diot
    s.

    Neo:
    “St
    ylos,
    doy
    our
    emembert
    hatsugarmamay
    oudat
    ed.
    ”

    Whati
    sli
    fewi
    thoutNeo?

    Nkomo:
    “Whosay
    ssugarmamaany
    mor
    e,i
    t’
    sbl
    ess-
    er.
    ”

    Nkomocor
    rect
    shi
    m.

    Neo:“Blessery
    aniwena,thatwomanwasj
    ustol
    dwi
    thnomoney
    .Whatdi
    dshebl
    essy
    ouwi
    th
    St
    ylos?”(Whatbless-
    er?
    )

    Hef
    rownsatme,
    Ishakemyhead.Heexpect
    smet
    oanswert
    hat
    ?

    Randal
    l
    :“Mont
    hlygr
    ocer
    ies,
    20r
    ands,
    ifhewasl
    ucky
    ,50r
    ands.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    ’sr
    esponseearnshi
    m aster
    nlookfr
    om me,he’
    ssupposedt
    obeonmysi
    de.Neoi
    s
    aboutt
    ogri
    ll
    me, hecan’
    tbr
    eathewit
    houtdoi
    ngit
    .

    Neo:
    “Yoh,
    Sty
    los.Unol
    edesper
    ateneh.
    ”(Youwer
    edesper
    ateSt
    yles.
    )
    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    oupeopl
    ear
    etal
    ki
    ngabout
    .”

    Ideny
    .

    Neo:
    “Suchaf
    reshmemorymaraStyl
    os,
    wenal
    eUzel
    i
    vedi
    nHi
    l
    lbr
    ow.Remembert
    hatol
    d
    womanComfortman?
    ”(YouandUze.
    )

    Nkomo:“
    Neo,arey
    ousurei
    twasSty
    lesandnoty
    ou?I
    ’
    m sur
    pri
    sedt
    haty
    our
    ememberher
    nameyet
    ,itwasal
    ongti
    meago.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Pl
    easeaskhi
    m,Ial
    sowantt
    oknow.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m gl
    adt
    oseet
    hatRandal
    li
    sst
    art
    ingt
    owar
    m upt
    oNkomo.

    Neor
    oll
    shi
    sey
    es,
    li
    ter
    all
    y.Hi
    sbabymamamustbebehi
    ndt
    his.

    Neo:“
    Kemubiso?Phel
    adi
    magr
    izabenebar
    atal
    egoa.
    ”(Ugl
    yli
    ket
    his?Theol
    dwomenl
    oved
    t
    hiswhit
    eman.
    )

    Nkomocr
    acksup.

    Nkomo:“It
    houghtIwast
    heonl
    yonewhosawy
    ourugl
    i
    ness,
    honest
    lynt
    wanaIdi
    dn’
    tknowhow
    t
    otell
    you.”

    Neo:
    “Ok’
    sal
    ayohakeof
    eti
    seoena,
    eey
    ytheMkhi
    zesar
    eugl
    ygent
    s.”(
    I’
    m notasugl
    yasy
    ou.
    )

    Nkomocl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue,
    it’
    sgoodnott
    oar
    guewi
    thNeo,
    hedel
    i
    ver
    spai
    nful
    comebacks.

    Randal
    lchuckl
    esatNeo’
    sresponse,
    thi
    sisaf
    ir
    st.

    Me:
    “Iwasapl
    ayerbackt
    hen,
    butKhet
    hucameandt
    amedme.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Mor
    eli
    keputy
    ouonal
    eash.
    ”

    Whateverhemeansbyt hat,
    Ichoosenottotakei
    ttoheart.Khethuisstr
    ong-wi
    l
    ledbut,t
    hat
    tendstogetint
    oherheadandi tcl
    asheswit
    hherinsecur
    it
    ies.Imisshersomuch, Imi
    ssthe
    KhethuIfel
    linl
    ovewith.TheKhethuIknewbefor
    ehergrandparentsdied,t
    heKhethuIknew
    beforehert
    rueident
    it
    ywasr ev
    ealed.

    Ifeel
    li
    keIli
    vewithaNobayenii
    nmyhouse,
    it’
    sonl
    ybeenaf
    ewday
    sandshehast
    urnedi
    nto
    thi
    sangrypersonIcannotr
    ecogni
    ze.

    Shefi
    ghtsmeatev
    erychancesheget s,
    ift
    her
    eisnothi
    ngtofightabout
    ,shewil
    lfi
    ndsomet hi
    ng.
    Ican’
    tshar
    ethi
    swi
    thRandalloranyone.HowdoItel
    lmybrotherthatmywomanput sher
    handsonmeandIcannotbri
    ngmy selft
    orest
    rai
    nher?Il
    ethergetawaywi t
    hit
    ,may bethi
    sis
    herwayofdeal
    i
    ngwit
    hherpain.

    Neo:“Sty
    los,
    tel
    lushowy
    ouf
    oughtComf
    ort
    ’shusband?Iheart
    hatol
    dmant
    hrewmean
    punches.
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erheart
    heendoft
    his.

    Me:
    “Whot
    oldy
    out
    hat
    ?”
    Hel
    ooksatRandal
    lwhocl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oatwi
    thaghost
    lysmi
    l
    eonhi
    sface.

    Me: “Hey,shel
    i
    edaboutbeingmarr
    iedokay.Idon’
    tknowwhatgotint
    ome,sleepingwit
    han
    olderwoman.Eish,
    thatoldmanal
    mostdi sl
    ocatedmyjaw,
    sometimesIcanstil
    lfeel
    thepai
    n.I
    neverlookedatanolderwomanfr
    om thatday.
    ”

    Thesef
    ool
    sar
    elaughi
    ngatme,
    Randal
    laccept
    sal
    owchor
    tl
    e.Hebet
    ternotl
    aughoutl
    oud.

    Neo:
    “Mr
    .Casanov
    a,Mr
    .Lov
    er-
    lov
    er.
    ”

    Neohums.

    Me:
    “Iwasi
    nmyear
    lyt
    went
    ies,
    don’
    tbehar
    donme.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Eyy!But,y
    oulivedStyl
    os.Someofusmadebabi
    eswitht
    hefi
    rstwomanwebanged.
    Tshi
    diudom gents,
    yoh.Ihavenevermetawomanasstupi
    dasher
    .”(Tshi
    dii
    sdumb.
    )

    Heexpr
    esses,
    hisf
    aci
    alexpr
    essi
    oni
    sthef
    unni
    est
    .

    Nkomo:
    “Udom v
    ele,
    anywomanwhoopensherl
    egsf
    ory
    ouhast
    obedumb.
    ”(Shei
    sdumb.
    )

    NeoandNkomo’
    slov
    e-hat
    erel
    ati
    onshi
    pwi
    l
    lnev
    ergr
    owol
    d.

    Neo:
    “Nkomo,us'
    kangtesternt
    wana.IknowIT,y
    ou’l
    lwakeupamar
    ri
    edmani
    nthemor
    ning,
    aan‘
    nouvroue.
    ”(Don’
    ttestmeNkomo. )(Toanoldwoman.)

    Nkomol
    ooksatmeandInodt
    ryi
    ngt
    osupr
    essmyl
    augh.

    Neo:“Er
    easkiesbhutiNeoandIwil
    lhavemercyonyou.Anyway,Iwi
    llbedoi
    ngyouafavour,
    seei
    ngthatyourf
    atherwantstobeJacobZuma.Idoubttherear
    ewomanl ef
    toutt
    here.Ei
    sh!I
    shoul
    d’v
    emadeamov eonKhethu,
    befor
    eSty
    losshowedhi sugl
    yass.Nooff
    encebozzabut,I
    am morehandsomet hanyou.
    ”

    Hesmi
    rksatme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Onl
    ySt
    yles,
    canhandl
    eKhet
    hu.Neo,
    respecther
    .She’
    staken,
    knowy
    ourl
    i
    mit
    sman.
    ”

    Randal
    lphr
    asesasheshif
    tst
    otheedgeofthecouch.He’sseat
    edonaoneseater,si
    ppingona
    gl
    assofWhiskey
    .Iknowhimtosmokehissorr
    owsawaybut ,ri
    ghtnowheisonhisthi
    rdglass.
    Therei
    snosignofhi
    m bei
    ngti
    psyt
    hough,wekeeplosinghimtonothi
    ngnessashezonesout .

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouRandy
    .St
    opl
    ooki
    ngatmywomanwenaNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Nwanky
    ouNwandy
    .”(
    Thanky
    ouRandy
    .)

    Hei
    mit
    atesmei
    namocki
    ngway
    .

    Nkomo:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhi
    chbl
    ackmagi
    cwi
    l
    lrest
    rai
    nyouNeo,
    Igi
    veup.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Sty
    los,
    Uze,y
    ouhear
    ditf
    rom t
    hehor
    se’
    smout
    h.Bay
    aloy
    akwaMkhi
    ze.
    ”(Theypr
    act
    ice
    bl
    ackmagicatt
    heMkhi
    zes.
    )

    Nkomoi sof
    fi
    cial
    l
    ydr
    ained,
    thelookonhisfacesayshe’
    sdefeated.Il
    eeratRandall
    ,hekeeps
    checki
    ngtheti
    meonhiswristwatch.He’
    srest
    lessandIknowthereasonbehindthat.
    Me:
    “Ift
    hatwat
    chcoul
    dspeak,
    itwoul
    dtel
    lyout
    ost
    opst
    ari
    ng.
    ”

    It
    hrowt
    hati
    n,her
    aiseshi
    sey
    est
    oogl
    eatme.

    Randal
    l
    :“It
    hinki
    t’
    sbr
    oken,
    timei
    snotmov
    ing.
    ”

    Wel
    aughathi
    m.

    Me:
    “Don’
    twor
    ryRandy
    ,youwi
    l
    lbewi
    thAmar
    atoni
    ght
    .”

    Hewor
    ri
    est
    oomuch.

    Neo:
    “Lov
    ehumbl
    esmenl
    i
    keUze,
    thewor
    ldi
    scomi
    ngt
    oanend.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Yourwor
    ldwi
    l
    lcomet
    oanendi
    fyoudon’
    tshutup.
    ”

    Nkomosni
    cker
    sandNeogi
    veshi
    m abl
    ackl
    ooki
    nret
    urn.

    Neo:
    “Ut
    sehaeng?
    ”(Whatar
    eyoul
    aughi
    ngat
    ?)

    Theat
    mospher
    echangeswhent
    hef
    rontdooropensandKet
    huwal
    ksi
    n.shegl
    aresatus.

    Neo:“Ndl
    ovukazi
    .Yazi
    ngi
    bonaumunt
    uumangi
    bonawena.
    ”(Queen,
    IseeahumanwhenIsee
    you.
    )

    Tr
    ustNeot
    obet
    hef
    ir
    stt
    oopenhi
    sbi
    gmout
    h.

    Shedoesn’
    tacknowl
    edgehi
    spr
    esence,
    herey
    esar
    egl
    uedonme.

    Neo:
    “Andt
    hen?
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    stoRandal
    lwhodoesn’
    trespond.

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tknowy
    ouwer
    ecomi
    ngt
    oday
    .Youshoul
    d’v
    ecal
    l
    edme,
    tof
    etchy
    ou.
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tsayanyt
    hingbut
    ,tr
    eadsuptheupstai
    rs.Iwon’
    tli
    e,Iam embarr
    assedbyher
    i
    mpudence.Sheisnotafanofthesemenbut,
    greeti
    ngwouldn’thav
    ekil
    ledher.

    IknowIshoul
    dfol
    l
    owherbyt
    hel
    ookshegav
    eme.

    Me:“Sorr
    yguy
    s,shemusthav
    ehadabadday
    ,youknowhowhar
    dthi
    ngshav
    ebeenf
    orher
    l
    atel
    y.”

    Ij
    ust
    if
    yheri
    nsolence.Theydon’tr
    espondbut,st
    areatme.Ican’
    treal
    l
    ytel
    lwhatNeoand
    Nkomoaret
    hinkingbut,Randal
    l
    ’sglar
    escreamspity
    .

    Igetupandf
    oll
    owKhet
    hu.

    Myspi
    ri
    tdr
    opsasIt
    rampupt
    hest
    air
    s,Iknowshei
    supsetandIwi
    l
    lhav
    etopaci
    fyher
    .

    NOMBULELO*
    I
    ’m wokenupbyMbuso,Idon’tknowwhenIf
    ell
    asl
    eep.Ihav
    ebeensl
    eepi
    ngal
    otl
    atel
    y.If
    rown
    athi
    m, seei
    ngt
    hathe’
    salldr
    essedup.

    Mbuso:
    “Wakeupchubbycheeks.
    ”

    Me:“You’
    reonl
    ywaki
    ngmeupnow?Youbat
    hedandgotdr
    essedwhi
    l
    eIwassl
    eepi
    ng,
    you
    shoul
    d’v
    ewokenmeup.”

    Mbuso:
    “Anddi
    stur
    byoursnor
    ingsessi
    on?Idon’
    tthi
    nkso.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tsnor
    e.”

    Igasp.

    Mbuso:
    “AndI
    ’
    m notadoct
    or.
    ”

    Hesni
    gger
    s,hav
    ingmer
    oll
    myey
    esathi
    m.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    IqueryasIsi
    tupfr
    om thebed,
    weshar eabednow.If eell
    ikethi
    ngsaremovingt
    oofastandno
    matterhowIwantt
    oslowdown, Ican’
    t.Iam atmyhappiestandIhavebecomeaddi
    ctedtoit
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Ihav
    etogot
    owor
    k,t
    her
    e’sanemer
    gency
    .”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    l
    lgobackt
    osl
    eept
    hen.Iwon’
    tcookbyt
    heway
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “That
    ’sal
    lri
    ght
    ,I’
    l
    lbr
    ingpi
    zza.
    ”

    Thet
    houghtofpi
    zzamakesmegag.

    Me:
    “Whatshoul
    dIcook?PaporRi
    ce?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mbuso:
    “Youshoul
    dtakeawal
    korsomet
    hing.Don’
    tsl
    eepy
    ourl
    i
    feaway
    ,you’
    l
    lfal
    lasl
    eepwhen
    gi
    vi
    ngbir
    th.
    ”

    Hi
    sst
    atementt
    hrowsmei
    ntoar
    oll
    ofl
    aught
    er.

    Me:
    “That
    ’si
    snotpossi
    ble,
    doc.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Asazi
    .”(
    Wedon’
    tknow.
    )

    Me:
    “Br
    ingmet
    hatf
    ish,
    please.
    ”

    Hemakest
    hatf
    aceagai
    n.

    Mbuso:
    “Howaboutt
    innedf
    ish?Youcaneati
    twi
    thpap,
    thatt
    hingcannotbeheal
    thyf
    orGoku.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sal
    lhewant
    sandhe’
    sincont
    rol
    ,notme.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “It
    hinkIshoul
    dref
    ery
    out
    oadi
    eti
    cian.
    ”

    Me:
    “Letmeguess,
    doct
    orf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    Henods.

    Me:
    “Femal
    e?”

    Hesendshi
    shandbehi
    ndhi
    sneckandr
    ubsi
    twhi
    l
    esni
    cker
    ingl
    i
    keani
    diot
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Wel
    l
    ,yes.
    ”

    Thi
    schangesmymood.

    Me:
    “Mmmhhh,
    anot
    herNamhl
    a?”

    Hesi
    tsnextt
    ome.

    Mbuso:
    “No,
    notanot
    herNamhl
    a.”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “Ar
    ewej
    eal
    ous?
    ”

    Nonsense.

    Me:
    “Mi
    na?Jeal
    ousofwho?Hav
    eyouseenmeMbuso?
    ”

    Het
    hrowshi
    sheadbackandl
    aughsl
    i
    keaki
    d.

    Mbuso:
    “Yes,
    Ihav
    eseeny
    ou.Iseey
    ouandmyey
    esl
    i
    kewhatt
    heysee.
    ”

    Hegivesmeanaught
    ysmi leasher
    unshi
    shandonmyt
    high,
    hedi
    pshi
    sheadont
    hear
    cofmy
    neck,
    leav
    ingt
    rai
    l
    sofkisses.

    Me:
    “Ar
    en’
    tyougoi
    ngt
    owor
    k?”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    lbequi
    ck.
    ”

    Hecont
    inueski
    ssi
    ngmyneckt
    rai
    l
    ingdownt
    omycol
    l
    arbone,
    Ishi
    verathi
    swetki
    sses.

    Me:
    “Mbusoy
    ou’
    l
    lbel
    ate.
    ”

    Mychesti
    sri
    singandf
    all
    i
    ngasIhav
    ebecomebr
    eat
    hless.

    Mbuso:
    “Twomi
    nut
    es.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    s,Ipushhi
    m of
    fofme.Hi
    sfacewel
    comesaconf
    usedf
    rown.

    Me:
    “Twomi
    nut
    eswi
    thwho?
    ”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lconf
    usedasher
    aiseshi
    sey
    ebr
    ows.

    Mbuso:
    “Okayt
    hreemi
    nut
    es.
    ”

    He’
    sst
    upi
    d.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotputoutf
    ory
    ou,
    got
    owor
    k.”

    Het
    it
    ter
    sbef
    oret
    aki
    ngi
    nal
    augh.
    Mbuso:
    “But
    ,Iwon’
    tbeabl
    etof
    ocus.I
    fapat
    ientdi
    es,
    itwi
    l
    lbeony
    ou.
    ”

    Di
    dIsayhe’
    sst
    upi
    d?Isayi
    tagai
    n,Mbusoi
    sst
    upi
    d.

    Icheerhi
    sst
    upi
    dit
    yon,
    asIf
    ail
    tosupr
    essmyl
    augh.

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    got
    owor
    k.”

    Hechuckl
    es,
    pecksmyl
    i
    psandget
    sup.

    Me:
    “Li
    sten.
    ”

    Het
    urnst
    ome.

    Me:
    “Comebackear
    ly.
    ”

    Igest
    ureasecret
    ,hegrinsi
    mpi
    shl
    y.Jogsbackt
    omeandsmasheshi
    sli
    psonmi
    ne,
    theki
    ss
    l
    eavesmewi t
    hhotflashes.

    Mbuso:
    “Thesur
    ger
    ywi
    l
    ltaket
    hreemi
    nut
    es.
    ”

    Hecl
    owns,
    he’
    sfunny
    .Iwat
    chhi
    m ashewal
    ksoutt
    hedoor
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    64*

    NTOMBI
    *

    Thehousehasbeenquietsi
    ncethati
    nci
    dentwi
    thmybrot
    hers,JonasandMhambi wentout
    ,I
    havenoideawher
    etheyare.Pet
    uniai
    sinmykit
    chenasusual,
    Ithinkshehasgai
    nedweight
    si
    ncetheycamehere.

    Wit
    htherateshe’
    sgoing,
    shewon’ tfi
    tinhercl
    othesbyt
    het i
    metheyl
    eav
    emyhouse.I
    ’ml
    yi
    ng
    onthecouchwatchi
    ngTV, Ineedt
    ogetmymi ndoffoft
    hingsandsof
    arthi
    sist
    heonl
    yway.
    Someoneknocksatthedoor,Iam toolazyt
    ogetup.

    Me:
    “Pet
    u,Ngi
    cel
    auv
    uleumy
    ango.
    ”(Pl
    easeopent
    hedoor
    .)

    Ishoutt
    oher
    ,Icanheart
    hel
    oudsoundofdi
    shes.

    Ther
    e’snor
    esponsef
    rom her
    ,she’
    sst
    il
    langr
    y.

    Idragmybodyupandt
    readtowar
    dst
    hedoor
    .I’
    m al
    readyf
    rust
    rat
    edbyt
    hel
    oudknocki
    ngand
    Pet
    unia’
    snoi
    sei
    ntheki
    tchen.

    Me:
    “Hai
    bo,
    don’
    tbr
    eakmydi
    shes.
    ”

    Iyel
    l,
    shedoesn’trespondbut
    ,thenoi
    segetsl
    ouder
    .Ir
    oll
    myey
    es,
    crackt
    hedooropenand
    herei
    sMartha,standingonmydoorstep.

    Me:
    “Uf
    unani
    ?”(
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    Mar
    tha:
    “HawuNt
    ombi
    .CanIcomei
    n?”

    Shepushesherwayi
    n,bef
    oreIcoul
    dinv
    iteher
    .

    Me:
    “Uf
    unani
    Mar
    tha?
    ”(Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    Mar
    tha:
    “Icamet
    ocheckony
    ouhawu.Unj
    ani
    chomi
    eyami
    ?”(
    Howar
    eyoumyf
    ri
    end?
    )

    Shesi
    tsonmysof
    a,gr
    abst
    heTVr
    emot
    eandst
    art
    schannel
    sear
    chi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Mar
    thawhati
    sthi
    s?”

    I
    ’
    m conf
    usedbyhersuddenv
    isi
    t.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Hl
    alapansi
    weNt
    ombi
    ,si
    xoxe.
    ”(Si
    tdownNt
    ombi
    andl
    et’
    schat
    .)

    Seei
    ngt
    hatshei
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e,Isi
    tnextt
    oher
    .

    Mar
    tha:
    “Howi
    sev
    ery
    one?
    ”

    Okay
    .
    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyouaski
    ngmet
    his?
    ”

    Thi
    sisv
    eryodd.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Am Inotl
    i
    kef
    ami
    l
    y?”

    No,
    you’
    renot
    .

    Me:
    “Mar
    tha,
    Idon’
    thav
    eti
    met
    oent
    ert
    ainy
    ou.
    ”

    Mar
    tha:
    “Howi
    sLel
    o,Nt
    ombi
    ?Whydoesn’
    tshev
    isi
    tyou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Hai
    bo,
    youknowwhy
    .”

    Mar
    tha:
    “Hay
    yi,
    ngi
    yabuzanj
    e.Howi
    sherbaby
    ?Isi
    tgr
    owi
    ng?
    ”(I
    ’
    mjustaski
    ng.
    )

    Whyi
    sshebei
    ngRandom?

    Me:“Mar
    tha,Idon’
    tknowwhyy
    ouar
    einmyhouseandwhyy
    ou’
    rebr
    ingi
    ngLel
    oup.Your
    suddenv
    isi
    tnjeisst
    range.
    ”

    Mart
    ha:“Kant
    iwhyusoNtombi
    ?Awungi
    niki
    ngishoneOr
    os.Myt
    hroati
    sdr
    yyazi
    .”(
    Whyar
    eyou
    l
    iket
    his?Youwon’
    tevengiv
    emeaglassofOros.)

    Thiswomani
    sannoyi
    ngme,Pet
    uniastr
    oll
    sint
    otheroom.Theyexchangel
    ookswi
    thMar
    tha,
    theset
    wohav
    enevermetbef
    orebut,
    itl
    ooksli
    ketheyhat
    eeachother.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    ,unesi
    vakashi
    ?”(
    Youhav
    eav
    isi
    tor
    ?)

    Shegi
    vesMar
    thaadi
    rt
    ylook.

    Mar
    tha:
    ”I
    siv
    akashi
    la,
    nguwe.
    ”(Thev
    isi
    tori
    syou.
    )

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hai
    bo!Awuhl
    ali
    lawenanj
    e.”(
    Youdon’
    tli
    veher
    e.)

    Me:
    “Doy
    out
    woknoweachot
    her
    ?”

    Theykeepqui
    etf
    orawhi
    l
    e,Pet
    uni
    acl
    i
    ckshert
    ongueandwal
    ksbackt
    otheki
    tchen.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Lomf
    azi
    .Ngi
    yam’
    zonda,
    ngi
    yam’
    zonda.
    ”(Ihat
    ethatwoman.
    )

    Sheexpr
    essesi
    nahi
    ghpi
    tchedv
    oice.

    Howcanshehat
    esomeoneshehasnev
    ermet
    ?

    Me:
    “Howdoy
    ouknowPet
    uni
    a?”

    Shehi
    desherf
    aceawayf
    rom me.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Idon’
    tknowher
    .”

    Me:
    “But
    ,yousai
    dyouhat
    eher
    .”

    Mar
    tha:
    “Di
    dIsayt
    hat
    ?Imeantshehasanannoy
    ingf
    ace.
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngonandwhyMar
    thai
    sly
    ingaboutknowi
    ngPet
    uni
    a.
    Mart
    ha:“
    LetmegoNt ombi,Ihavetocookbeforel
    oadsheddi
    ng.Youknowwearenotsaf
    ein
    t
    hispl
    ace,i
    fit
    ’snotel
    ect
    ri
    cit
    y,it
    ’st
    hewater.That’
    sthepr
    icewepayforbei
    ngpoor
    .”

    Ir
    efuseandIr
    eject
    .

    Me:“
    Martha,
    ifyouwantt
    ospeakpov
    ert
    yint
    oyourl
    i
    fe,
    donoti
    nvol
    vemei
    nit
    .I’
    m notsuf
    fer
    ing,
    myhusbandhasmoney.”

    Shebet
    terknow.

    Shel
    aughsoutl
    oud.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Yi
    phii
    ndodaNtombi
    ?Ever
    yoneknowsthathei
    smi
    ssi
    ng,
    asazi
    ifhe’
    smi
    ssi
    ngorhe
    r
    anawaywit
    hanotherwoman.
    ”(Whi
    chhusband?)

    She’
    ssay
    ingt
    hist
    omei
    nmyhouse.

    Me:
    “HambaMar
    tha,
    leav
    emyhouse.
    ”(Go.
    )

    Mar
    tha:
    “Don’
    twor
    ry,
    Iwasl
    eav
    ingany
    way
    .”

    Sheget
    sup,
    Ifol
    l
    owhert
    othedoor
    .Shest
    ops,
    tur
    nst
    ome.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Tel
    lNombul
    elot
    ocal
    lmeorgi
    vemehernumber
    s.”

    She’
    shonest
    lyact
    ingwei
    rd.

    Me:
    “Uy
    ifunani
    inganey
    ami
    Mar
    tha?
    ”(Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom mychi
    l
    d?)

    Mar
    tha:
    “Lel
    oisl
    i
    kemychi
    l
    dNt
    ombi
    ,Ij
    ustwantt
    oknowi
    fshei
    sokay
    .”

    Me:
    “She’
    sfi
    ne.By
    eMar
    tha.
    ”

    Ishutt
    hedooronherf
    ace.

    Whatonear
    thdi
    dshewant
    ?

    STYLES*

    If
    indKhet
    husi
    tt
    ingont
    hebed,she’
    swaiti
    ngforme.Herdemeanouri
    sthatofanger
    .Shel
    ooks
    upatmeasIcl
    osedoor
    ,Iam notupfort
    his.

    Me:
    “Whatwast
    hatabout
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Whatar
    etheydoi
    ngher
    eSt
    yles?
    ”

    Her
    ewego.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    oumeanbyt
    hat
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Yourf
    ri
    endsar
    eal
    lov
    ert
    hehouseSt
    yles,
    thenextt
    hingt
    heywi
    l
    lexpectmet
    ocookf
    or
    t
    hem.
    ”

    Me:
    “Nooneexpect
    syout
    ocookf
    ort
    hem Khet
    hu.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “IfIdon’
    tcook,
    theywi
    l
    ljudgemeandsayI
    ’
    m abadwomanbecauseIdon’
    tcookf
    ormy
    manandhisfri
    ends.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    l
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “YouknowI
    ’
    mri
    ghtSt
    yles.
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    Idon’
    t.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “So,
    you’
    resay
    ingI
    ’
    m maki
    ngt
    hingsup,
    you’
    recal
    l
    ingmecr
    azy
    .”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tputwor
    dsi
    nmymout
    hKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Khethu:‘
    What
    ever
    ,Iwanty
    ourf
    ri
    endsoutoft
    hehouse,
    it’
    sget
    ti
    ngl
    ate,
    I’
    mti
    redandIhav
    ea
    headache.
    ”

    Thi
    siswhatIhav
    etoputupwi
    thev
    eryday
    .

    Me:“Theyar
    enotgoi
    ngany
    where,
    Idon’tknowwhaty
    ourpr
    oblem i
    sKhethubut,
    youcan’
    t
    comehereandmakedemandsl
    i
    ket hat
    .Yousai
    dyouwil
    lbeatyourgr
    andmother’
    shousef
    ora
    week…”

    Shej
    erksupf
    rom t
    hebed,
    herf
    acecar
    ryi
    ngnot
    hingbut
    ,rage.

    Khethu:“
    Oh!Youdon’
    twantmei
    nyourhouseany
    mor
    e?I
    sthati
    t?Woul
    dyour
    atherl
    i
    vewi
    th
    thosegangst
    ers?
    ”

    Shecut
    sme,
    bef
    oreIf
    ini
    shandshout
    swhi
    l
    eati
    t.

    Me:
    “Donotr
    aisey
    ourv
    oiceatme,
    Iam notachi
    l
    d.”

    Isnapather
    .

    Khet
    hu:“Iwi
    llr
    aisemyv oi
    ceatyouStyles.Whathappenedtoyou?Thisisnotyou,youarenot
    thet
    ypeofpersonthathangswi
    thagr oupofpeople.Youdon’
    tsitidl
    einthehouse,entert
    aini
    ng
    your
    sel
    fwithalcohol
    andmeaninglessconversat
    ions,
    lookwhattheyhavetur
    nedy ouinto.
    ”

    Sheshout
    s,Ihav
    elethergetawaywi
    thshout
    ingatme.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hef
    ucki
    swr
    ongy
    ou?
    ”

    Khethu:“
    Whatiswrongwithmei sthat
    ,Ihavet
    akenabackseati
    nyourli
    fe,
    Iwashomealone
    Sty
    les.Doyouknowthat?Iexpectedyoutocomeandbewithme,that
    ’swhyIcamebackher
    e.I
    di
    dn’tknowyourat
    tent
    ionwasal r
    eadytakenbyRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sal
    way
    saboutRandal
    l
    ,isn’
    tit
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:“Yes,
    youmadei tabouthi
    m.I
    fRandal
    lwasawoman,youwouldcheatonmewithhi
    m
    andnotbesorryabouti
    t.Thi
    sishowdeephei
    sinourl
    i
    vesandfrankl
    yI’
    m get
    ti
    ngti
    redofhi
    m.”
    Thi
    swomani
    slosi
    nghermi
    nd,
    Idon’
    tknowwhenshebecameobsessi
    vebut
    ,it
    ’snotacut
    e
    si
    ght.

    Me:
    “KHETHU!
    !!
    ”

    Irai
    semyhandi nanat
    tempttosl
    apherbut,hert
    erri
    fi
    edfacest
    opsmeasshewi ncesbef
    oreI
    coul
    dtouchher.Isi
    ghdeepl
    yandstepback,
    it’
    sonlybeenoncethatIhav
    elai
    dahandonher
    andIhat
    edmy selff
    ori
    t.

    Whydoesshehavet
    obel
    ikethi
    s?Ican’
    tev
    ent
    ell
    any
    oneabouti
    tlest
    ,theyseemeasaman
    whocan’
    tkeephi
    shomei
    ntact.

    Me:“
    YouarenotthewomanIfel
    li
    nlovewith,
    youhavebecomethi
    sbitt
    erper
    sonwho
    compl
    ainsaboutev
    ery
    thi
    ngandever
    yone.Iam t
    ir
    edofthi
    sshi
    tKhethu.
    ”

    It
    hrowt
    hesewor
    dsi
    nherf
    ace,
    sher
    oll
    sherey
    esatme.Cl
    ear
    lymywor
    dsmeannot
    hingt
    oher
    .

    Me:
    “Youknowwhat
    ?I’
    m gl
    ad,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmar
    ryy
    ou,
    Iwoul
    dhav
    esubj
    ect
    edmy
    sel
    ftoal
    i
    feof
    i
    mpri
    sonment
    .”

    Herj
    awdr
    opsatmywor
    ds.

    Dazed,
    sheogl
    esherbi
    gey
    esatme.

    I
    ’m notst
    ayi
    ngforthi
    s,we’
    real
    way
    sgoingaroundi
    ncir
    cles.Tal
    ki
    ngaboutt
    hesamet
    hing,
    it
    appearst
    hatshedoesn’
    twantt
    heargument
    stoend.

    Me:“
    I’
    m done,
    youwantusoutoft
    hehouser
    ight
    ?Wewi
    l
    lleav
    ethehouse,
    youcanst
    ayher
    e
    al
    onesi
    nceyouenj
    oyyourowncompany.
    ”

    Ist
    ri
    detowardst
    hedoor,bef
    oreImakeitther
    e,somet
    hingwhacksmyhead.Idr
    opmyheadt
    o
    seeashoe,shej
    ustt
    hrewoneofherheelsatme.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    he…”

    Shescur
    riestomeandbeginsthr
    owi
    ngpunchesandsl
    apsonmyf aceandchest
    .Ihol
    dher
    ,
    const
    rai
    ningherhandsbut
    ,she’
    ssoadamanti
    nrel
    easi
    ngherangeronme.

    Me:
    “Khet
    hust
    op.
    ”

    Isnap.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ihat
    eyouSt
    yles,
    Ihat
    eyou.
    ”

    Shescr eamswhilefi
    ght
    ingme, shepushesmeagainstt
    hewallandconti
    nueswi t
    hherpunches,
    Idon’tknowwher eshegetsthestr
    engthfr
    om.Ifi
    nall
    ypushherback,shescreamsandtarget
    s
    meagai n.Khet
    hui ssoadamantinwantingtoi
    mpartpai
    nonme, it
    ’snotthepunchest
    hathurt
    but-heracti
    ons,herwordsandherinsol
    ence.

    Herbodygiv
    esupasshel osesstr
    ength.Shefi
    nal
    l
    ydrawsback,
    theriseandfal
    lofherchest
    vi
    sibl
    eunderhershi
    rt
    .It
    akeast eptowardsher
    ,Iwantt
    oholdher.Ididn’
    tmeantopushher.

    Khet
    hu:
    “You’
    reani
    diot
    .Howdar
    eyousayt
    hist
    ome?I
    fyounev
    erwant
    edt
    omar
    ryme.Whydi
    d
    y
    oul
    etmef
    all
    fory
    ou?
    ”

    Shescreamswhilesway
    ingherhandsaround.Thisi
    snotnormal,Khet
    huisbat
    tl
    ingdemons
    andIhavetohelpher
    .Heratt
    it
    udeisjust
    if
    iabl
    e,Ihav
    etogiveherallmysuppor
    t.Sheist
    hough,
    makingithar
    dformebecauseshepushesmeawaywhenIt ry.Asdrai
    nedandti
    redasIam,it
    hur
    tsmet oseeherli
    kethi
    s.

    Me:
    “Baby
    .”

    It
    akeherhandandshey
    anksi
    taway
    ,herangeri
    sst
    il
    li
    ncont
    rol
    .

    Khet
    hu:“
    Don’tbabyme,
    Igav
    eyouev
    ery
    thi
    ng.Al
    lofme,
    foury
    ear
    sofmyl
    i
    feSt
    ylesandt
    hisi
    s
    howyouthankme? ”

    She’
    scr
    ying,
    Ihat
    eseei
    ngheri
    ntear
    s.

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    I’
    m sor
    ry.Idi
    dn’
    tmeanwhatIsai
    d,y
    ouknowIl
    ovey
    ou,
    right
    ?”

    Shehuf
    fs.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youhav
    eaf
    unnywayofshowi
    ngi
    t.
    ”

    Ishoul
    dav
    oidget
    ti
    ngherupset
    .

    Me:“Li
    sten,
    theguy
    sandIhadameeti
    ng.Wewereinthemiddl
    eofi
    twheny
    ouwal
    kedi
    nand
    si
    nceyouneedspace,
    we’
    llgof
    ini
    shi
    tatRandal
    l
    ’shouse.
    ”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduce,
    Idoubtshel
    i
    kest
    hei
    dea.Shef
    uri
    ousl
    ymar
    chest
    othedoor
    ,locksi
    tandput
    sthe
    keyi
    nherbust
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Randal
    lagai
    nSt
    yles,
    real
    l
    y?Whyar
    eyouobsessedov
    erhi
    m?”

    I
    ’
    m done.

    Me: “
    Youknowwhat , gi
    venachoi cetochoose, IwouldchooseRandalloveryou.Youknowwhy
    Khethu?Herespect
    sme, hetreat
    smel ikeI’
    m human.Allthoseguysintheli
    vingroom, gi
    veme
    thepeacethatyoufailt
    ogi ve.Ally
    oudoi snagandi t’
    sexhausti
    ng.Dammi t,
    Iam tryi
    ngher e.I
    wanttoloveyouandt akecar eofyouandy ou’
    renotlet
    ti
    ngme.Youhav ebui
    ltthi
    swall ar
    ound
    youandbyGodKhet hu,Ihopebyt hetimey oudecidetobreakitdown,i
    twon’ tbetoolate
    becauseIam ti
    redofbei ngont heothersideofthewall.
    ”

    Tot
    hinkshewoul
    dunder
    stand,
    no.Shecackl
    esandcl
    apsonce.

    Khet
    hu:
    “OhSt
    yles,
    ify
    ouev
    erchooseRandal
    lorany
    oneov
    erme.Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youwoul
    dn’
    tdar
    e.”

    Khethu:“
    Tr yme,t
    hisrel
    ati
    onshi
    pisfor
    everSt
    yles.Ti
    l
    ldeat
    hdouspar
    t,mar
    ri
    edornot
    .Noone
    wil
    lreapfrom whereIhavesown.”

    Me:
    “Whoar
    eyouandwhatdi
    dyoudot
    omyKhet
    hu?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “YourKhet
    hui
    sst
    il
    lher
    e,she’
    sjustt
    ir
    edofy
    ourbul
    l
    shi
    t.
    ”
    Sheut
    ter
    s.

    RANDALL*

    Khet
    huissoloud,theonlyvoi
    cewecanheari
    shers.Shehasbeenati
    tforawhi
    l
    enow.St
    yles
    i
    ssoftspokenhence,Khethumist
    akest
    hatf
    orweakness.

    It
    hinki
    t’
    sti
    meIint
    ervene,
    bef
    oret
    heyki
    ll
    eachother
    .Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evethi
    sist
    hesameKhet
    huwho
    wasqui
    etandki
    nd,shehadamouthal
    ri
    ghtbut
    ,shehadli
    mitst
    oo.

    Now,shespeakstoStyl
    esany
    wayshel
    i
    kes.Ihav
    eaf eel
    i
    ngt
    hatsheabuseshi
    m phy
    sical
    ,
    Sty
    leswil
    lnotspeakout
    .Hehasani
    magetouphold,
    hewon’
    tbethefi
    rstmantobeavict
    im of
    domesti
    cviol
    ence.

    Ther
    earemenoutther
    ewhocan’
    tputt
    hei
    rhandsonawoman, St
    ylesi
    soneofthem.Khethu
    cl
    ear
    lyknowst
    hathence,
    shet
    akesadv
    ant
    ageofthatanddoeswhatev
    ershepl
    easeswithhi
    m.

    Nkomo:
    “May
    beweshoul
    dgi
    vet
    hem space,
    thi
    shasbecomeuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.”

    Iwi
    sht
    heydi
    dn’
    thav
    etoheart
    his,
    Ihat
    ewhati
    shappeni
    ngt
    omybr
    other
    .

    Neo:“From whatIam hear ing,Khethuistheloudest.She’


    sbreathingfireandfrom whatIhave
    seenont hoseserialki
    ll
    erdocument ar
    ies,t
    hewomanendsupki l
    li
    ngt hemani nafitofrageand
    cri
    esself-
    defenceandy ouknowwhatsoci etywil
    ldo?Wewi l
    lbel
    iev eherbecausesheisa
    woman.Menar eal r
    eadypai ntedasmonst ersbecauseofthemenwhof all
    undert
    hesay i
    ng
    ‘
    menar et r
    ash’
    .Goodornot , wearedemonsi nt
    heey esofthewor ld.I
    fsomet hi
    nghappensto
    Styl
    os,bozza,hisnamewi l
    lbedr aggeddownandbur iedwit
    hhim.Whi l
    et heworl
    dcall
    sKhethu
    aheroforfighti
    ngf orherself
    .”

    Neohasnev
    erspokensomuchsensei
    nhi
    sli
    fe,
    nowayam Igoi
    ngt
    oletany
    thi
    nghappent
    omy
    br
    other
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ost
    opt
    his.
    ”

    IannounceasIgetup.

    Neo:
    “Whoi
    sgoi
    ngt
    osav
    eAmar
    awhenKhet
    hucut
    syourheadof
    f?”

    Ipr
    aisedhi
    mtoosoon.

    Nkomo:
    “It
    hinkRandyshoul
    dint
    erv
    ene,
    clear
    lyt
    hisi
    snotst
    oppi
    ng.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Don’
    tsayIdi
    dn’
    ttel
    lyou.Passmet
    her
    emot
    e,It
    hinkChi
    efsi
    spl
    ayi
    ngt
    oday
    .”

    I
    t’
    sri
    ghti
    nfr
    ontofhi
    m.Ii
    gnor
    ehi
    m andscur
    ryupt
    hest
    air
    s.

    St
    yles:
    “Khet
    hugi
    vemet
    hekeynow.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “NoSt
    yles,
    wewi
    l
    lst
    ayi
    nthi
    sroom t
    oget
    hery
    ou’
    renotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”
    St
    yles:
    “Isai
    dgi
    vemet
    hekey
    ,opent
    hisdamndoor
    .”

    Itappearsshehaslockedthem i
    nsi
    de,
    may beIshoul
    dbr
    eaki
    tdown.St
    ylescannotl
    i
    vel
    i
    ket
    his,
    Ican’tl
    etthi
    shappent ohi
    m.Hedeservesbett
    er.

    Iknockt
    wiceandt
    heygoqui
    et.

    Me:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    IhearKhet
    hul
    etoutamocki
    ngcackl
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Whati
    sitRandal
    l
    ?”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouguy
    sokay
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “We’
    ref
    ineRandal
    l
    ,leav
    eusal
    one.
    ”

    Khet
    huy
    ell
    sinannoy
    ance,
    I’
    m notl
    eav
    inghi
    mint
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “St
    ylesopent
    hedoor
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    lwe’
    rest
    il
    lbusy
    ,I’
    l
    lbedowni
    nawhi
    l
    e.”

    Iknowhedoesn’
    twantmetoseet
    hepai
    ninhi
    seyes,
    ifIcoul
    d,Iwoul
    dri
    poutt
    hel
    ovehehas
    forKhet
    hui
    nhishear
    t.Thi
    swomanhaspr
    oventobet
    oxic.

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    it’
    sei
    thery
    ouopent
    hedoororIwi
    l
    lbr
    eaki
    tdownandy
    ouknowIwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Thi
    siswhatIwassay
    ingSt
    yles,
    hewon’
    tleav
    eusal
    one.
    ”

    Igr
    abt
    hedoorhandl
    eandt
    wisti
    t,Iam get
    ti
    ngSt
    ylesoutoft
    her
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Randyr
    elax,
    I’
    ll
    opent
    hedoor
    .”

    Hesoundsannoy
    ed.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Gi
    vemet
    hekey
    .”

    Hedemands,
    itt
    akesawhil
    eforhi
    mtoopen.Heimmediat
    elydr
    opshi
    sey
    est
    hemomentt
    hey
    meetmi
    ne,hi
    sfacei
    sfl
    ushedandpai
    ntedwi
    thscrat
    ches.

    Khet
    hui
    ssi
    tt
    ingont
    hebedwi
    thherar
    msf
    oldedacr
    ossherchest
    ,shel
    ooksv
    eryupset
    .

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youguy
    sgoahead,
    I’
    ll
    meety
    ouatt
    hehouse.
    ”

    Hemustbei
    nsane,
    ifhet
    hinksIwi
    l
    lleav
    ehi
    m al
    onewi
    tht
    hiscr
    azywoman.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notl
    eav
    ingt
    hishousewi
    thouty
    ouSt
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    l
    ,Isai
    dIwi
    l
    lmeety
    ouatt
    hehouse.
    ”

    Me:
    “And,
    Isai
    dI’
    m notl
    eav
    ing.
    ”
    Hesi
    ghs,
    tur
    nst
    olookatKhet
    hu.Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hel
    ookshe’
    sgi
    vi
    nghi
    mri
    ghtnow.

    St
    yles:
    “Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Hewalkspastme,Khet
    hulookssur
    pri
    sed.Shewantstost
    ophi
    m but,
    myf
    ir
    mlookpr
    event
    sher
    f
    rom doi
    ngso.If
    oll
    owSt y
    les,
    wemanaget omakeitoutoft
    hehouse.

    Me:
    “If
    orgotmyphone.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Hur
    ry,
    kel
    api
    l
    e.Iwantt
    oeatbef
    orewego.
    ”(I
    ’
    m hungr
    y.)

    Iscurr
    ybacktot
    hehouse,t
    hepl
    ani
    st otal
    ktoKhethu.Iwantt
    oknowwhatherpr
    oblem i
    s,Isee
    herrunni
    ngdownthest
    air
    sasIwal
    kin.Sheprobabl
    ythoughtt
    hat
    ,shewi
    l
    lstopSty
    les.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoul
    ooki
    ngf
    orSt
    yles?
    ”

    Shegl
    aresatmewi
    thoutanswer
    ing.

    Me:“Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    repl
    ayi
    ngatKhet
    hubut
    ,St
    ylesi
    sagoodman.Hedoesn’
    tdeser
    ve
    whatyouaredoi
    ngtohi
    m.”

    Shecackl
    es.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Thi
    sisi
    roni
    c,Ihav
    eal
    way
    sknownt
    haty
    ouar
    ethet
    hir
    dper
    soni
    nthi
    srel
    ati
    onshi
    p.”

    Me:
    “If
    eel
    sor
    ryf
    ory
    ou.Whendi
    dyoubecomet
    hisper
    son?
    ”

    Shecr
    ossesherar
    msov
    erherchestandscowl
    s.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Di
    dSt
    ylessendy
    oubackher
    e?”

    Sher
    aisesherey
    ebr
    ows,
    thei
    mpudence.

    Me:
    “You’
    repat
    het
    ic,
    youknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Khethu:“
    NoRandall
    ,Idonotknowt
    hat
    .But
    ,Iknowt
    hatt
    hreei
    sacr
    owd.Youneedt
    obut
    tout
    ofourrel
    ati
    onshi
    p.”

    Shedecl
    aresf
    oul
    l
    y.

    Me: “Li
    stenher
    ewoman,ifIf
    indoutt
    hatyou’
    reabusi
    ngt hatman.Iwil
    lfucky
    ouup.Theonly
    reasonSt y
    lesl
    etsy
    ougetawaywithever
    ythi
    ngisbecausehelovesyou,mybrot
    herdeser
    ves
    better.
    ”

    Shef
    rownsatmyf
    inger
    ,poi
    ntedather
    .

    Khethu:
    “Oh,pl
    ease.Whatdoyouknow?This,
    from amanwhodoesn’
    tknowhowt olovea
    woman.Forhowl ongwil
    lyouhi
    deundert
    hatbrot
    herti
    tl
    e?Iknowt
    hat
    ,youjustwanttocont
    rol
    Sty
    lesandhavehim doal
    lyourdi
    rt
    ywork.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”

    Shehuf
    fs.
    Khethu:“I
    ’
    m notaf
    rai
    dofy
    ouRandal
    l,yourt
    hreat
    sdon’tf
    azeme.Myf at
    herisapol
    ice
    commi ssi
    oner
    .Remember
    ,Iknowaboutall
    yourshenani
    gans.I
    fyoucont
    inuel
    iket
    hisRandal
    l
    ,I
    wil
    lsingli
    keabir
    d.”

    Herwor
    dshav
    emechuckl
    i
    ngi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.

    Me:“List
    enher
    esisi,
    Iam notSt
    yles.Youwi l
    lnottal
    ktomel i
    ket
    hat
    ,cont
    inuewi
    thy
    ourshi
    tand
    notevenyourf
    atherwil
    lst
    opmef rom teachi
    ngy ourespect
    .”

    Shecackl
    es,t
    hiswomanhassur
    elychanged.Thi
    sundaunt
    edat
    ti
    tudehasheronahi
    ghhor
    se,
    I
    wil
    lbr
    inghercrashi
    ngdown.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Pl
    ease,
    getoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Shedemandswithsomuchar
    rogance,
    Ismi
    rk,
    asIt
    oil
    towar
    dsher
    .Shet
    akesonest
    epback,
    feart
    easi
    ngherabitt
    her
    e.

    Me:“Oh,Khet
    hukuthul
    a.WhatsadnessIseeuponyou.Icanonl
    yhopethat,
    youwi l
    lheedmy
    words.I
    ’
    m anicepersonKhet
    hubut ,
    IcanbeabeastwhenIwantt oandtr
    ustme, youdonot
    wanttoseethatsi
    deofme.Touchmybr otherandwe’r
    egoingshoppi
    ngforyourcoff
    in.
    ”

    Shest
    epsback,
    herey
    espoppedoutandgul
    psi
    nfear
    .

    Me: “Onemorethi
    ng,Styl
    esdoesn’
    thavet
    oknowaboutthi
    sdiscussion.Youar
    ealr
    eady
    steppingonhisdi
    gnit
    y,wedon’twanty
    oucrushi
    ngi
    tanyfur
    ther.Ihopewewon’thavet
    his
    conversat
    ionagai
    n.”

    Il
    i
    ket
    hef
    eari
    nherey
    es,
    ifonl
    ysheknewhowIf
    eedoni
    t.Iambl
    eout
    ,leav
    ingt
    hedooropen.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    65*

    MKHI
    ZE*

    Thi
    sfool
    fai
    nted,
    appar
    entl
    ytheguar
    dsaidheheardhi
    m scr
    eam andwhenhecamet
    ocheck,
    Moseswasly
    ingfl
    atonthefl
    oor
    .Iuset
    heoldtr
    icktowakehim up…Col
    dwater
    .

    Me:
    “Wakeupsdudl
    a.”

    Hej
    umpsast
    hewat
    erspl
    ashesov
    erhi
    sface.

    Moses:
    “Vusamazul
    u.”

    Hescr
    eamswhi
    l
    ebr
    owsi
    ngt
    her
    oom,
    hel
    ooksl
    i
    kehehasseenaghost
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Moses:
    “Mkhi
    ze,
    getmeoutoft
    hisr
    oom pl
    ease.Vusamazul
    uwasher
    e.”

    Hepl
    eadsashegr
    absmyl
    eg,
    Ipushhi
    m of
    fandhef
    all
    sback.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?Zul
    uisdead.
    ”

    Ir
    emi
    ndhi
    m.

    Moses:
    “Isawhi
    m,hewasher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Ar
    ghshame,
    sol
    i
    tar
    yconf
    inementi
    sabi
    tch.Lookaty
    ousdudl
    a,y
    ouar
    elosi
    ngy
    ourmi
    nd.
    ”

    “
    Baba.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Si
    kashout
    sashedashesi
    n.

    Me:
    “Yi
    ni?
    ”(Whati
    sit
    ?)

    Si
    ka:
    “Thepol
    i
    cear
    eher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Amapoy
    isa?
    ”(Thepol
    i
    ce?
    )

    Si
    ka:
    “Theysai
    dtheyhav
    easear
    chwar
    rant
    .”

    Thi
    spuzzl
    esmebecauseIhav
    ebeencar
    eful
    wit
    htheset
    hings,
    Ihav
    erat
    swhowor
    kwi
    tht
    he
    pol
    i
    ce.

    Me:
    “Somet
    hingi
    supSi
    ka.I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    ofi
    ndoutwhatt
    hisi
    sal
    labout
    .”

    Moses:
    “Mkhi
    zepl
    ease,
    don’
    tleav
    emei
    nher
    e.”

    Hepl
    eads,
    cowar
    d.

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sgoSi
    ka,
    lockt
    hedoorbehi
    ndy
    ou.
    ”
    Ihav
    ebet
    tert
    hingst
    owor
    ryabout
    .

    AMARA*

    Thedooriski
    ckedopenandmyhear tj
    umpstomyt hroat
    ,asafamil
    iarf
    igur
    etowersoverme
    andswif
    tl
    ybut,gradual
    l
    ypushesmeagainstt
    hewall.Il
    ookupatthefaceIhadmissedso
    muchandmymi ndcannotcompr
    ehend,howhecouldbestandi
    ngbeforeme.

    Ihadbeenrest
    lessl
    ywaiti
    ngf
    orthisdayt
    hatitseemssounreal
    r i
    ghtnow.Irai
    semyhandt o
    hisf
    ace,
    let
    ti
    ngmyf inger
    ssof
    tl
    ytrail
    ever
    yinchofhisski
    n.Asoftfr
    ownt akesoverhi
    sfaci
    al
    expr
    essi
    on.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Ial
    mostcannotr
    ecogni
    semyv
    oiceasIwhi
    spert
    henamet
    hathasbeenmyhopef
    ort
    hepast
    days.

    Hi
    sey
    esbecomewat
    ery
    ,hebl
    i
    nksonce,
    try
    ingt
    ohol
    dbackt
    het
    ear
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“Mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Hewhi
    sper
    ssof
    tl
    y.

    Thi
    snamehasneverdoneany
    thi
    ngt
    omebef
    ore,
    todayi
    thasmef
    eel
    i
    ngov
    erwhel
    medand
    weaki
    ntheknees.

    Hegr absmywaistandIshi
    verathiscoldhandsonmyski n.He’sgl
    ancingintomyeyes,he
    scansmyl i
    psbefore,
    rav
    enousl
    yclaimingthem.I
    ’m caughtoffguar
    d…Atf ir
    stit
    ’saweir
    d
    feel
    ingbut
    ,I’
    m knockedi
    ntomysensesbymyhear t
    .Thesearet hever
    ylipsIhadbeenlongi
    ng
    for.

    Ifeel
    atingl
    i
    nginmyst
    omachandarushofbl
    oodi
    nmyv ei
    nsmaki
    ngmehotduet
    ohi
    ski
    ss
    andhishandsi
    nsi
    demytop,
    gent
    lyci
    rcl
    i
    ngonmyskin.

    Awei
    rdsensat
    ionr
    unst
    hroughmybodyashepusheshi
    stonguei
    nmymout
    h.

    Att
    hispoi
    nt,
    mybr
    eat
    hingi
    sraci
    ngatt
    hesamer
    atewi
    thmyhear
    t.

    Icanfeel
    mybodyt
    rembl
    i
    ngathi
    stouch,
    asheki
    ssesmewi
    thoutgi
    vi
    ngmeachancet
    o
    breat
    he.

    Hef
    reesmyl
    i
    psl
    eav
    ingmepant
    ingandmychestheav
    ing.

    Ifl
    i
    nchatthesuddensoundofgunshots,
    Randal
    ltakesmyhandandl
    ugsmeoutsidet
    he
    bedroom.I
    tisonl
    ynowt hatInot
    icet
    heguni
    nhishand,Idi
    dn’
    tseehi
    m pul
    li
    tout
    .

    We’
    remar chi
    ngdownal ongcor
    ri
    dor,he’
    swal
    ki
    ngf
    astandIhav
    etoj
    ogoccasi
    onal
    l
    yasmy
    smal
    lfeetfai
    ltokeepupwithhi
    space.
    Ihav
    en’
    tseenKazi
    today
    ,itcoul
    dbeherdayof
    f.

    Amanwit
    hagunapproachesfrom t
    hecor
    ner
    ,Randal
    ltakeshi
    m downwi
    thoneshot
    .Hel
    ooks
    atmeasi
    ftochecki
    fIam okay
    , hel
    eadsmetowar
    dsabackdoor .

    Thegunshot sseem t obecomingfrom behindus,Ihavenoideawhatisgoingon.I‘


    mt err
    if
    ied
    tomywi t
    s,Ihav
    en’thadmuchl uckl
    ately.Icouldbeshotfr
    om thebackatthisescape,my
    biggestfeari
    sdying.Befor
    e,Icoul
    dlookdeat hintheeyeandmocki tbut
    ,nowt hatIhavefound
    thispersonwhocoul dpossi
    blybemyr easonf orl
    ivi
    ng,
    deathhasbecomeanenemy .

    Wet
    readdownt
    hemet
    alst
    air
    s,Il
    ookathi
    shandhol
    dingmi
    ne.

    Iam f
    oll
    owi
    ngt
    hismanwhoi
    sluggi
    ngmet
    oapl
    aceIdonotknow,
    heappear
    stobeunf
    li
    nchi
    ng.

    Howcanhebecal m atat i
    meli
    kethi
    s?Anot
    hermanapproachesr
    unningupt
    hest
    air
    s,he
    shootsatus.Randallpushesmetothesi
    deasheshoot
    st hi
    sman,Ifall
    onmybut
    tandgrabt
    he
    stai
    rrai
    li
    ngforbalance.

    Themant umbl
    esdownt
    hest
    air
    s,he’
    sdead.Randal
    ltakesmyhand,
    bri
    ngsmeandi
    nspect
    sme
    fori
    njur
    ies.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ar
    eyoual
    ri
    ght
    ?”

    Me:
    “Cany
    oust
    opki
    l
    li
    ngpeopl
    e.”

    Hefr
    ownsatmeandcont
    inuesdr
    aggi
    ngmedownt
    hest
    air
    s.Weexi
    tthr
    oughsomebr
    owndoor
    andi
    tleadsust
    oabacky
    ard.

    It
    ’sni
    ghtti
    meandt hi
    sareai
    ssurroundedbybrightl
    i
    ghts,thegunshotssoundlouderfr
    om her
    e,
    i
    t’sal
    mostdeafeni
    ng.Twomendr essedinpol
    iceunif
    orm arestandi
    ngatthegate,oneoft
    hem
    spotsusandnudgeshispar
    tner
    .Theyapproachus,wemeethal fway.

    I
    tregi
    ster
    sinmymi
    ndt
    hatIhav
    ebeenr
    escuedandwi
    l
    lbesentbackt
    omyf
    ami
    l
    y.

    “
    Randal
    l
    ?”

    Randal
    lfr
    ownsandnods.

    Whyi
    shenothi
    dingt
    hisgun?

    “
    We’
    rewi
    thSt
    yles,
    thecari
    sready
    .”

    Thecopcont
    inues.

    Randal
    lnodsagai
    n,hehasn’
    tletgoofmyhand.Wef
    oll
    owt
    hepol
    i
    cement
    hroughasmal
    lgat
    e.

    “
    OKOLI
    E!!
    !”

    Weallt
    urnt
    othesoundofMkhi
    ze’
    sroar
    s,heopensf
    ir
    eandsodot
    hecops.Randal
    lpul
    l
    sme
    behi
    ndawall
    .

    Oneoft
    hemeni
    sshot
    ,Ican’
    tseewher
    ebut
    ,he’
    sst
    il
    lal
    i
    ve.

    “
    Go,
    Iwi
    l
    lhol
    dhi
    m back.
    ”
    Hegroansashe’
    slyi
    ngontheground,Mkhizei
    sst
    il
    lshoot
    ing.Hecan’
    tseeusthough,we
    fol
    l
    owt heot
    hercoptoapol
    icecar.Hegetsint
    hedri
    ver
    'sseat,
    Randal
    landIj
    umpi ntheback,
    andwespeedoff.

    Iturnbacktosee,
    Mkhizeshoott
    hepol
    icemanweleftbehi
    nd,mul
    ti
    pleti
    meswit
    houtr
    emorse,
    twomor ebigmenjoi
    nhim,theyj
    umpintoacart
    hat’
    sparkedonthesideoft
    her
    oad.Theyar
    e
    foll
    owingus.

    It
    urnt
    olookatRandal
    l
    ,he’
    sal
    soseei
    ngwhatIsee.

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    twor
    ry,
    itwi
    l
    lbeov
    ersoon.
    ”

    Heassur
    esme.

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    epi
    tupman.
    ”

    Hecommandst
    hecop,
    henods.

    “
    Theycoul
    dcat
    chup,
    thi
    scari
    snott
    hatf
    ast
    .”

    Themanr
    esponds.

    Ican’
    tseem t
    otwi
    gwhati
    sgoi
    ngon,
    ift
    hesemenar
    epol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cer
    s.Wher
    eist
    hebackup?

    Ev
    eni
    nmybef
    uddl
    edst
    ate,
    Ihav
    equal
    msaboutt
    hissi
    tuat
    ion.

    Randal
    l
    :“Shi
    t!Wher
    eisSt
    yles?
    ”

    Randal
    lgr
    owl
    s.

    “
    Wel
    efthi
    m behi
    nd,
    it’
    sawarzoneoutt
    her
    e.”

    Iscr
    eam andduckasabul
    letpi
    ercest
    hroughther
    earwindshi
    eld.Randal
    lpl
    aceshi
    shandon
    myback,shi
    eldi
    ngmyupperbodywhichlandsonhi
    slap.

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    aydownAmar
    a.”

    Thecarbeginslur
    chingoutofcont
    rol,
    Irai
    semyheadt oseet hecopsl
    ant
    edov
    ertothe
    passenger’
    ssi
    de.Thebulletwentt
    hroughhishead,
    Iscream andsmashmyhandagainstmy
    mouth,sil
    enci
    ngmy sel
    f.

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    aydown,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    otakeov
    ert
    hewheel
    ."

    Hejumpsov ert
    othedr
    iver
    ’ssi
    de,
    pushesthedeadbodyt
    othepassenger
    ’ssi
    de.Heopenst
    he
    dooranduseshi
    sfoott
    opushhim out
    ,thati
    sahumanbeinghej
    ustabandonedther
    e.

    Hespeedsof
    f,t
    her
    ear
    est
    il
    lgunshot
    scomi
    ngf
    rom behi
    ndus.Mkhi
    zeandhi
    smenar
    est
    il
    l
    shoot
    ing.

    KHETHU*
    Ihavelostmycoolcal
    li
    ngStyl
    es,
    heisnott
    aki
    ngmycall
    s.Si
    ncehelef
    tthehousewit
    hhis
    fri
    ends,i
    t’
    spast10pm,he’
    susual
    lyathomear
    oundt
    hist
    ime.Ihav
    ebeenbadt ohi
    ml at
    ely
    ,I
    real
    lydon’tknowwhat
    ’swrongwit
    hme.

    Iseem t
    ohav
    ethi
    sur
    get
    ofi
    ghtwi
    thhi
    m,andIam st
    il
    lbaf
    fl
    edbyt
    hef
    actt
    hathet
    oler
    atesmy
    shit
    .

    Ifearl
    osi
    ngStyl
    estosomeoneelse,If
    earlosi
    nghimt oRandall
    .Heseemst olovehim mor
    e
    thanme,IknowheregardsRandal
    lashisbrot
    her.Ij
    usthatethebondtheyhave,Randal
    li
    sa
    badboy.Hehidesbehi
    ndhismoneyandhi scal
    mnessbut ,
    Iseet hr
    oughhim.Iknowwhatthey
    usedtodo,howtheymademoneyf orali
    ving.

    Drugdeali
    ngs,smuggli
    nggunsandRhinopoaching,tonameaf ew.Whentheyopenedt he
    l
    ogisti
    cscompany ,
    Styl
    espromisedt
    hathewillnevergobacktotheli
    feofcri
    me.Ican’treal
    l
    y
    tr
    ustthat
    ,Ihaveafeeli
    ngthatsomet
    hingbi
    gisgoi ngonatRandall
    ’shouseandStyl
    esisapar t
    ofit
    .Ican’
    ttel
    lhim any
    thi
    ngashealwaystakeshisside,hecan’
    thearawordagainstRandall
    .

    Idi
    sli
    ket
    hatandi
    tjustmakesmehat
    eRandal
    l
    .

    Myphoner
    ings,
    itmustbeSt
    yles.

    Gosh!

    Whatdoeshewant
    ?

    Me:
    “Mbongeni
    .”

    Mbongeni
    :“Youdon’
    tsoundhappyt
    ohearf
    rom me.
    ”

    Whyi
    shecal
    l
    ingmeatt
    hist
    imeoft
    heni
    ght
    ?

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouknowwhatt
    imei
    tis?Ihav
    eamanMbongeni
    ,youcan’
    tbecal
    l
    ingmeatt
    hist
    ime.
    ”

    Mbongeni:
    “Sor
    ry,Iwantedtocheckupony
    ou.Iwasatgogo’
    shouseandy
    ourf
    athersai
    dyou
    wentbacktoSt
    ina’shouse.
    ”

    Iknowhepr
    etendsnott
    oknowhi
    sname.

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    hisnamei
    sSt
    ylesandy
    es,
    Iwentback.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Whyar
    eyouwi
    tht
    hatmanKhet
    hu?Hei
    snotgoodf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Thi
    smani
    saddi
    ngupt
    omyf
    rust
    rat
    ions.

    Me:
    “I’
    m wai
    ti
    ngf
    oraphonecal
    lMbongeni
    ,sor
    ryIcan’
    tchat
    .”

    Mbongeni
    :“CanIatl
    eastt
    akey
    ououtf
    orcof
    feet
    omor
    row?
    ”

    Me:“
    Wher
    eisy
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iendMbo?Idoubtshei
    sokaywi
    thy
    oucal
    l
    ingmeatt
    hist
    imeoft
    he
    ni
    ght
    .”

    Mbongeni
    :“We’
    renotser
    ious.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thati
    snotwhati
    tlookedl
    i
    ket
    ome.
    ”
    Mbongeni
    :“Weagreedon,
    nost
    ri
    ngsat
    tached,
    Ihav
    en’
    treal
    l
    ybeeni
    naser
    iousr
    elat
    ionshi
    p
    si
    nceyoul
    eftme.”

    Canhegetov
    ert
    hatal
    ready
    ?

    Me:
    “Look,
    Ihav
    etogo.St
    yleswi
    l
    lcal
    lmeandf
    indt
    hephonebusy
    .”

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    shenothome?I
    fIwasy
    ourman,
    Iwoul
    dbehomewi
    thy
    our
    ightnow.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    isdr
    aini
    ngme.

    Me:
    “Goodby
    eMbongeni
    .”

    Mbongeni
    :“Okay
    ,I’
    l
    lcal
    lyour
    egar
    dingourcof
    feedat
    e.”

    Idr
    opt
    hecal
    l
    ,Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thhi
    m.

    Wher
    ethehel
    li
    sSt
    yles?Whyhasn’
    thecal
    l
    edmey
    et?

    RANDALL*

    Mkhizei
    sst
    il
    ltai
    l
    ingus,hehasseizedfir
    e.Thatoldmanj
    ustwon’
    tgiveup,
    hewon’
    taccept
    def
    eat.Hei
    snotgett
    ingAmara,nowt hatIhaveher,
    Iwi
    ll
    notl
    etheroutofmysi
    ght
    .

    She’
    slyi
    ngonthebackseatofthecar
    ,Isawf
    eari
    nherey
    es.I
    ’
    m sur
    pri
    sedt
    houghbyher
    st
    rengt
    h,sheseemsdif
    fer
    ent.

    Sheisnott
    hefr
    agil
    eAmar at
    hatStyl
    esbroughttomyhousethatni
    ght,
    Iam gladinaway .You
    canimagi
    nehowastoundedIwaswhenshet ouchedmyfaceandretur
    nedmyki ss.Shedidn’
    t
    pushmeawaythisti
    me,atfi
    rsti
    tfel
    tsur
    realasIfai
    l
    edtograspwhatwasgoingon.

    St
    yleshadgi
    venor
    der
    saccor
    dingt
    ohi
    spl
    an,
    getAmar
    aandgetout
    .

    TheplanwentoutthewindowwhenIsawher,
    ever
    ythi
    ngfel
    laway.I
    twasjustmeandher.My
    hear
    tdancedtothesoundofhervoi
    cecall
    i
    ngoutt
    ome, mynamer ol
    li
    ngoutofhermout
    h,onl
    y
    mademewantt otasteherli
    ps,
    itwasal
    lmymindcoul
    doccupy.

    Now,
    Icanbar
    elyt
    hinkst
    rai
    ghtaf
    tert
    hatki
    ss.

    Me:
    “Taket
    his,
    don’
    tgetup.Pr
    ess4andt
    heputt
    hephoneonspeakerwhenSt
    ylesanswer
    s.”

    Ihol
    dhert
    hephone,
    hisnumberi
    sonspeeddi
    al.

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Heanswer
    simmedi
    atel
    y,Icanheargunshot
    sint
    hebackgr
    ound.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Hechuckl
    es.
    St
    yles:
    “I’
    mtal
    ki
    ngt
    oyouar
    en’
    tI?
    ”

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    zei
    saf
    terus,
    yourmenar
    edown.
    ”

    Idel
    i
    vert
    hesadnews.

    St
    yles:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyouguy
    s?”

    Me:“We’
    reheadedforthehi
    ghway
    ,thi
    sisr
    iskySt
    yles.Thatmonkeywi
    l
    ldr
    awusat
    tent
    ion,
    and
    we’
    redri
    vi
    ngapolicecar.
    ”

    Sty
    les:
    “Iwantyoutotakeal
    eftbefor
    etheofframp.There’
    sabr
    idget
    her
    e,y
    ouwon’
    tmi
    ssi
    t.
    Therewil
    lbeaboutt
    enbusesparkedinatr
    iangul
    armotion.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    wewon’
    thav
    eti
    met
    ogetoutoft
    hecarandhi
    dei
    nsi
    deabus.
    ”

    Sty
    les:“Youwon’
    thavet
    ogetoutoft hecar,
    y oukeepdri
    vi
    ngandwe’l
    lmeetatt
    heagreed
    l
    ocation.Ther
    ewil
    lbeachopper
    ,ifIam nottherei
    nfif
    teenmi
    nutes,
    youtwoshoul
    dleave.The
    guysandIwi l
    lmakeapl
    an.”

    Me:
    “Iam notl
    eav
    ingwi
    thouty
    ouSt
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Yourst
    ubbor
    nnessRandywi
    l
    lgetuski
    l
    led.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    Iam ser
    ious.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wel
    l
    ,soam I
    .GetAmar
    ahome,
    she’
    sbeent
    hroughsomuch.
    ”

    Dammi
    t,heknowshowt
    ogett
    ome.

    Me:
    “Youbet
    termakei
    toutoft
    her
    eSt
    ylesorIwi
    l
    lcomet
    ohel
    landgety
    oumy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    es,
    hedoesn’
    ttakemeser
    ious.

    St
    yles:
    “Hel
    li
    snotr
    eadyf
    ormebr
    o,Ist
    il
    lhav
    eMkhi
    zet
    odeal
    wit
    h.”

    I
    fIknowSt
    yles,
    hewon’
    tgethi
    msel
    fki
    l
    led.

    Styl
    es:“So,youtur
    nlef
    tatthebridge,
    thedriv
    ersknowabouty ourarr
    ival
    .Theyarearmedj ustin
    case,mkhulutri
    essomething.Theyknowwhi chcaryou’
    redri
    vingbut,
    justtobesure,hootthree
    ti
    mes.Theywi ll
    makeawayf oryouandblockMkhize’scar
    .Themomentheappr oaches,they
    wil
    lblasttheheadli
    ght
    s,there’
    saguyonst andbywithaspotli
    ghtaswel l
    .Thiswil
    lgi
    v eyou
    ti
    met oescape.”

    Hef
    ini
    shes.

    Me:
    “Whendi
    dyout
    hinkoft
    his?
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    St
    yles:
    “Youst
    il
    ldon’
    tknowmeRandy
    ,I’
    m ser
    iousl
    ygoi
    ngt
    odi
    sowny
    ou.
    ”

    Styl
    esgoesquietf
    orawhil
    e,wehearmor
    egunshot
    sint
    hebackgr
    ound.It
    hinkhe’
    sina
    shootoutwi
    thsomeone.
    Me:
    “St
    ylesar
    eyout
    her
    e?”

    Ibr
    ief
    lyl
    ookbackatAmar
    a,shel
    ooksshakenasherhandi
    str
    embl
    i
    ngi
    nfear
    .

    Me:
    “Gi
    vemet
    hephonemehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Shehandsi
    ttome.

    Me:
    “We’
    l
    lbeoutoft
    hissoon.
    ”

    Ieaseherwor
    ri
    esi
    nhopest
    hatshewi
    l
    ltakecomf
    orti
    nmywor
    ds.

    Me:
    “St
    yles?
    ”

    Ihopehei
    sokay
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Randy
    .”

    Hesoundsoutofbr
    eat
    h.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Il
    eert
    hrought
    her
    earv
    iewmi
    rr
    or,
    Mkhi
    zei
    sst
    il
    lbehi
    ndus.Thathar
    d-headedbast
    ard.

    St
    yles:“
    Yeah,thi
    sisthemostf
    unIhavehadinmonths.Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    met
    hatgunshoot
    ing
    i
    stherapeut
    ic?It
    ’sev
    enbett
    erwhenyouhitt
    hetar
    get.
    ”

    Me:
    “P.
    I.
    Cman.
    ”(PassengerI
    nCar
    .)

    Amar
    awi
    l
    lthi
    nkust
    obemonst
    erswhoenj
    oyki
    l
    li
    ngpeopl
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    Hesni
    cker
    s.

    Me:
    “You’
    resi
    cky
    ouknowt
    hat
    ,youshoul
    dgopai
    ntbal
    l
    ing.That
    ’swhatnor
    mal
    peopl
    edo.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Sty
    les:
    “Youshoul
    dseeNeoman,runni
    ngaroundl
    i
    keaheadlesschi
    cken.Thatmanisacowar
    d
    but,
    heducksbull
    etsl
    i
    keapr
    o.Deathischasi
    nghi
    m buthey
    ,themanisfast.Hewantst
    oli
    ve.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsuncont
    rol
    l
    abl
    y.

    Me:
    “Wher
    eishe?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    Isawhi
    mrunt
    oNkomoawhi
    l
    eago.He’
    susi
    nghi
    m asashi
    eld.
    ”

    Thi
    shasmel
    aughi
    ng,
    Icanal
    mostseeNeo.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    bet
    tercomebackal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Hewi
    l
    l,don’
    twor
    ry.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mkhont
    owi
    l
    lbet
    her
    ewi
    thhi
    smen.
    ”
    Iknowhesai
    dhedoesn’
    ttr
    usthi
    m,Ido.Mkhont
    oisl
    oyal
    onl
    yify
    ou’
    rel
    oyal
    tohi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Good,
    weneedmor
    emen.
    ”

    Okay
    …

    Me:
    “Iseet
    hebr
    idge.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Howf
    ari
    sMkhi
    ze?
    ”

    Il
    eert
    hrought
    her
    earv
    iewmi
    rr
    or.

    Me:
    “Nott
    hatf
    ar,
    I’
    m sur
    pri
    sedhehasn’
    topenedf
    ir
    e.”

    St
    yles:
    “Ther
    ear
    ecamer
    asont
    hatr
    oad.Shi
    t,I
    ’
    llcal
    lyoubackRandy
    .”

    Hedr
    opst
    hecal
    laf
    tergr
    unt
    ing.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a,ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    She’
    stooqui
    et.

    Amar
    a:“
    Yes.
    ”

    Shewhi
    sper
    ssof
    tl
    y.

    Me:
    “Iknowy
    ou’
    rescar
    edbut
    ,not
    hingwi
    l
    lhappent
    oyou.Thatmanwon’
    tgett
    oyou.
    ”

    Shedoesn’trespond,Iturnthecarl
    eftli
    keSt y
    leshadsai d.Ican’
    tseeMkhi
    ze’
    scaranymore,
    it
    takesawhiletil
    lIseethebuses.Theyar eblockingtheroad,Ihootthr
    eet
    imes,t
    hefi
    rstf
    ourin
    frontmov
    e.Theyopenasmal lapath,enoughf orthecartopass.Theycl
    osethepat
    hthe
    momentwear einthear ch.

    Me:
    “Youcansi
    tupmehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Sheget
    sup,
    Icanseehert
    hrought
    hemi
    rr
    or.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Shenods.

    Ther
    ear
    enocar
    sont
    hissi
    deoft
    her
    oad.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    66*

    NKOMO*

    Iknewt hereweregoi
    ngtobeal otofmeninthi
    sy ar
    d, notthi
    smucht hough.Ihavebeen
    runningaroundshoot
    ingatpeople,
    Styl
    esdoesitsoflawlesslyli
    keit
    ’sav i
    deogame.Ihav en’
    t
    seenMkhi zeanywher
    e,hemusthav egoneaft
    erRandal l
    .Thatbastardisdisgusti
    ng,chasi
    ng
    afterayounggirl
    .Weneedbackuporel sewearenotmaki ngitoutofhere.

    Ihaven’
    tseenmyf amil
    y,Mkhi
    ze’
    sbrot
    hersarenotinsi
    ghtaswell
    .Theymusthav
    et ur
    nedon
    him whenLungadied,
    theyall
    knewabouttheOkoli
    ecurse.Myf
    atheri
    sjustt
    oostubbornt
    o
    l
    istentoanyone.

    “
    Nkomo.
    ”

    Itur
    ntoseeNeoruntome, I
    ’
    m hi
    dingbehi
    ndabeam.Theshooti
    ngi
    sst
    il
    lgoi
    ngon,
    it’
    sagood
    thi
    ngtheswar
    tteam l
    eft
    .Thi
    swoulddefi
    nit
    elybeont
    he8pm news.

    Neocr
    ashesont
    opofmeassoonasheget
    stome.

    Neo:
    “Yohnt
    wana,
    gwany
    iwamo.
    ”(I
    t’
    sbad,
    her
    eboy
    .)

    He’
    sheav
    ingandhel
    ookst
    err
    if
    ied.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Heogl
    esatmel
    i
    keIcussedathi
    m.

    Neo:
    “DoIl i
    keokayt
    oyouNkomo?Ikil
    ledt
    wopeopl
    etodayntwana,Ihavenev
    erki
    l
    ledany
    one
    i
    nmyl i
    fe.Notevent
    hoseannoy
    ingf
    li
    esatmymother
    ’shouse,t
    odayIkil
    l
    edawholehuman.”

    Hesoundsf
    rant
    ic.

    Me:
    “Rel
    ax,
    you’
    l
    lgetov
    eri
    t.
    ”

    Neo:“Getoverwhat
    ?Thi
    sisthesameassel
    li
    ngmysoult
    ot hedev
    il
    ,ohmodi
    mo.I’
    m goi
    ngto
    hel
    l,
    Iwon’tsurvi
    vei
    nhel
    lNkomo.Thedevi
    lwil
    lmakemehisplayt
    oy,I
    ’
    mtoohandsomeforhel
    l
    nna.
    ”(Oh,God.)

    Thedr
    ama.

    Me:
    “Cal
    m downNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “YohModi
    mo.
    ”(God.
    )

    Hescreamswhenabul
    lethi
    tsthet
    opofthisst
    ructur
    ewe'releani
    ngon,
    shi
    eldi
    ngbehi
    ndme.I
    t
    urntoseeamanshooti
    ngatus,Iopenfi
    reandtakehim downwitht
    wobull
    ets.I
    ’
    m sur
    pri
    sed
    t
    heneighbour
    shav
    en’
    tcall
    edthepoli
    ce.

    Neo:
    “It
    hinkweshoul
    dsur
    render
    ,St
    ylosi
    soutt
    her
    epl
    ayi
    ngwi
    thbul
    l
    etsl
    i
    kei
    t’
    snewy
    ear
    ’sev
    e.
    Dai
    manwi
    l
    lgetuski
    l
    ledNkomo.Hakebat
    lehoshoanna.Let
    ’ssur
    render
    .”(
    Idon’
    twantt
    odi
    e.)

    Hegabbl
    esonpani
    cky,
    Igr
    abhisshi
    rtandpul
    lhi
    m backasheget
    supwi
    thhi
    shandsr
    aised.
    Thi
    sfool
    wil
    lgethi
    msel
    fki
    ll
    ed.

    Me:
    “You’
    regoi
    ngt
    ogetuski
    l
    led.Whatt
    hehel
    li
    syourpr
    obl
    em?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Nt
    wana,
    whet
    herwesur
    renderornot
    .Wear
    edy
    ingt
    oday
    .”

    Neoi
    ssuchacowar
    d,Ihav
    enev
    erseensomuchf
    eari
    none’
    sey
    esbef
    ore.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowabouty
    oubut
    ,Iam wal
    ki
    ngoutoft
    hisal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Nkomontwana,
    borr
    owmey ourphoneIwantt
    ocal
    lmymot
    herandt
    ell
    herIl
    oveher
    .
    Minef
    ell
    whenIwasducki
    ngbul
    l
    ets.”

    Henudgesme.

    Me:
    “Neomanst
    op.
    ”

    Ispotamansneaki
    nguponus,
    he’
    sonNeo’
    ssi
    de.Hecan’
    tseehi
    m becausehe’
    soccupi
    ed
    wit
    hhisbl
    abber
    ing.

    Me:
    “Neowat
    chout
    .”

    Ihowl
    ,ast
    hemanai
    mst
    hegunathi
    m,Neot
    urnsr
    api
    dlyandshoot
    shi
    m.Thatwasagoodone.

    Neo:
    “Yourshi
    t,ny
    amao.
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    satt
    heman.

    Okay
    …He’
    spani
    cki
    ng.

    Neo:
    “Nna,
    Idi
    dn’
    tsi
    gnupf
    ort
    hisman.I
    fIdon’
    tmakei
    t,f
    indKhensani
    andt
    ell
    herIl
    oveher
    .”

    Me:
    “Who’
    sKhensani
    ?”

    Igi
    vehi
    m aconf
    usedl
    ook.

    Neo:
    “She’
    sthi
    sbeaut
    if
    ulgi
    rlwhol
    i
    vesnextdoormyhouse,
    Ical
    lhert
    hundert
    highs.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Me:
    “DoesKhensani
    knowt
    haty
    ouexi
    st?
    ”

    Hemopesatme.

    Neo:
    “Shewi
    l
    l,oncey
    out
    ell
    heraboutme.Tel
    lherIdi
    edaher
    o.”

    Icanonl
    yshakemyheadathi
    sabsur
    dit
    y.

    IseeSt
    ylesrunni
    ngpastthegate,
    hisbodyishunchedashe’
    sducki
    ngbul
    l
    ets.He’
    sshoot
    ing
    ever
    ywhereandanywherehit
    ti
    ngthetarget
    sateveryai
    m.

    Howt
    hehel
    li
    shesogoodatt
    his?
    Whi
    l
    eNeoandIar
    ehi
    dingl
    i
    kecowar
    ds.

    Neo:
    “tj
    eer
    ,cav
    aSt
    ylosnt
    wana.KeChuckNor
    ri
    s.”(
    LookatSt
    yles,
    he’
    sli
    keChuckNor
    ri
    s.)

    Heexpr
    essesi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.

    St
    ylesseesusandf
    rowns,
    I’
    m sur
    ehei
    spr
    obabl
    ywonder
    ingwhywear
    ehi
    ding.

    Neo:
    “Ai
    Sty
    los,
    thi
    sishi
    sdai
    l
    ybr
    eadmoes.
    ”

    Hecont
    inues,
    Icanonlysquathereinshame.Weneedtogetbacki
    nthegame.Peopl
    edr
    op
    deadwhereeverSt
    ylespasses,
    he’sli
    keabl
    oodypl
    ague.

    He’
    sreal
    l
    yhandl
    i
    nghi
    sgunwel
    l
    ,Iwoul
    dn’
    twantt
    ocr
    osshi
    spat
    h.

    Wetur
    nourheadsaswehearaloudhoot,t
    woQuant umsdri
    vei
    n.Ther
    ear
    emeni
    nsi
    de,
    some
    ar
    epeeki
    ngoutthewi
    ndowswit
    hdiff
    erenttypesofgunsdr
    awnout.

    Neo:“Yoh,
    Yoh,
    Yoh.Haimadoda,sat
    aneoangmpatl
    avandag.Keakol
    ihel
    eng,thi
    siswhat
    happenswhenyou’
    resur
    roundedbyZul
    umen.”(
    Thedevi
    lwantsmetoday,I
    ’m goi
    ngtohel
    l.
    )

    I
    ’m choosingt
    oignorehi
    m,MkhontojumpsoutoftheQuant
    um.Hehasawhol eteam wi
    thhi
    m
    whost ar
    tshooti
    ngthemomentthei
    rfeethi
    ttheconcr
    etegr
    ound.Randal
    lmusthavecal
    l
    edhim.

    Hel
    ooksatmeandsmi
    rks.

    Me:
    “Now,
    thef
    unbegi
    ns.
    ”

    Idecl
    areasIj
    umpupandbegi
    nshoot
    ing,
    leav
    ingNeol
    eani
    ngagai
    nstt
    hebeam.

    MOSES*

    I
    ’m wal
    kingdownt hedar
    kemptystr
    eet
    softhi
    ssubur
    bancommuni t
    y,t
    herearenotmuchcar s
    passi
    ngby.I’
    mt r
    yingtohi
    tchhi
    ke,
    nooneisst
    oppi
    ngforme.Theyprobablyt
    hinkI’
    m cr
    az y
    anyway-adi
    rtybl
    ackman, wal
    ki
    ngdownthestr
    eet
    sofari
    chneighbourhood,
    tryi
    ngtocatcha
    ri
    de.

    Homeisfarfr
    om her
    e,Idon’
    tknowwheretowni s.Pr
    etor
    iai
    snewtome,i
    fithappensthatIget
    t
    othetown.Iwil
    lhav
    etobegf ormoneyso,Icantakeataxi
    home.Sameappli
    es,whenIgetto
    j
    obur
    g.

    MosesMngoma,
    youhav
    emoneystackedupsomewher ei
    nyourhousebut
    ,youhav
    ebeen
    degr
    adedt
    oabeggar
    .What
    ’st
    heworstthatcoul
    dhappennow?

    ThatevilmanMkhi
    ze,
    trampl
    edonmydi gni
    ty.Il
    efti
    tsomewherei
    nhishouse.WhenIgethome,
    Iwil
    ltakemymoneyandIwil
    lrun.Mkhi
    zewillki
    l
    lmei fhef
    indsme.

    Thankf
    ull
    yfort
    hest
    reetl
    i
    ght
    s,Idon’
    thav
    etowal
    kint
    hedar
    k.
    Imanagedt oescapethathovelwhenoneoftheguardsbroughtmefood,
    Iov
    erpower
    edhi
    m
    andtookadv ant
    ageofthecommot ionout
    sidet
    oescape.OnmywayoutIspot t
    edAmara,
    wit
    h
    somef ool
    draggingher.Idon’
    tknowifshewasbeingrescuedorwhat.

    WhydoIf
    eel
    li
    kesomeonei
    sfol
    l
    owi
    ngme?

    It
    urnar
    ound,
    ther
    e’snoone.

    Thequi
    etnessofthenightsuddenl
    yseemsscar y,thehai
    rsonthebackofmyneckstand.Isend
    myhandt orubofftheunset
    tl
    ingfeel
    i
    ngandpi ckupmypace.Outoft hebl
    ue,mybodyis
    swel
    ter
    inganddr i
    bsofsweatleakdownt omyey es,it
    sbit
    ter
    nessbli
    ndsmecausingmet orub
    myeyes,bri
    skly
    .It
    ’sinthemiddl
    eofwi nt
    er.Icannotexpl
    ainwhyI’
    m sweat
    ingandburni
    ng.

    Ihearapairoff
    ootpri
    ntstr
    eadbehindme,I’
    mt ooter
    rif
    iedt
    oturnandinspect
    ,notknowing
    whatIwil
    lsee.Idoubl
    emyst eps,
    walki
    ngfastert
    hanInormall
    ywould.Thefootst
    epspickupas
    well
    ,att
    histimemyt -
    shi
    rti
    sdampf rom myperspi
    rat
    ion.

    Shoul
    dIt
    urnandsee?

    I
    fitwereaperson,theywoul
    dhav esai
    dsomethingbynow.Theonl
    ysoundsresonat
    ingaremy
    deepbreat
    hs,thefootst
    epsandmyhear tr
    obust
    ly,t
    huddi
    ngagai
    nstmychest
    .Fearisdensel
    y
    hover
    ingabout,asifi
    twereteasi
    ngme.

    Iscr
    eam asIfeelacoldhandgr
    abmyarm,
    forci
    ngmeswivel
    .Ther
    e’snoone,t
    hedim st
    reet
    s
    areempt
    y ,
    Ican’theart
    hegunshot
    sany
    more.Imustbef
    arfr
    om Mkhize’
    shouse.

    Whogr
    abbedmyar
    mthough?

    Itur
    nt ot
    rekfastert
    hist
    ime,mykneesarewobblyandIfeelaneedtostopandtakeabreakbut
    ,
    Iam toohorr
    ifi
    ed.Mystomachisi
    nknots,duetothefearthathasengul
    fedme,
    causingmeto
    rel
    easegas.Irubmyhandsatthediscomfortonmybelly.

    <<<Thul
    athul
    ,thul
    ababa,
    thul
    asana.>>>(
    Keepqui
    etmychi
    l
    d,keepqui
    etmybaby
    .)

    <<<Thul
    ’ubabuzof
    ika,
    ekuseni
    .>>>(
    Bequi
    et,
    daddywi
    l
    lbehomei
    nthemor
    ning.
    )

    Me:
    “Hay
    yi.
    ”(No.
    )

    He’
    sback,
    Vusamazul
    uisback.

    “
    Moses,
    Moses.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    smynamewi
    thaghost
    lyv
    oice.

    If
    eelasphy
    xiat
    edbyt hehor
    rort
    hathascomeuponme,
    somet
    hingi
    scompel
    l
    ingmet
    otur
    n.I
    swi
    ngaroundpivot
    ingonmyheel.

    Me:
    “Zu…Zul
    u.”

    Myv oi
    ceshakesasIgasphisnameinf
    ear
    ,he’
    sstandingbefor
    emewi thhisheadbowed.I
    can’
    tseehisface,
    theonl
    ythi
    ngIseear
    edropsofbloodfal
    li
    ngfrom hi
    sfacetothetopofhi
    s
    shoes.
    Zulu:
    “Indodakazi
    yamii
    l
    ahl
    eki
    l
    e,i
    ndodakazi
    yami
    il
    ahl
    eki
    l
    e.I
    ndodakazi
    yami
    il
    ahl
    eki
    l
    e.”(
    My
    daughterismissi
    ng.
    )

    Hewhisper
    sthesewor
    dsr epeat
    edl
    y,t
    hisi
    sal
    laboutAmara.EvenwhenIhav
    egott
    enridofher
    ,
    shewon’tl
    etmebeinpeace.Iopenmymouthtospeak,
    Ican’tgetawor
    dout.Myt
    hroati
    s
    cl
    oggedbyfear
    .

    Zul
    u:“
    Buy
    isai
    ndodakazi
    yami
    ekhay
    a.”(
    Takemydaught
    erbackhome.
    )

    Hi
    swhi
    sper
    sar
    ebonechi
    l
    li
    ngandIcan’
    tgr
    asphowIam st
    andi
    ngbef
    oreaghost
    .

    Me:
    “Ng…ngi
    yeke…angi
    siy
    e…owakubul
    ala.
    ”(Leav
    emeal
    one,
    Iam nott
    heonewhoki
    l
    ledy
    ou.
    )

    Herai
    seshisf
    aceandIscream att
    heghast
    lyvi
    ew,
    bloodi
    soozi
    ngoutofhi
    sey
    es.He’
    scr
    ying
    bl
    oodtear
    sashisfacehol
    dsalookofagony.

    Me:
    “Hay
    yi…Zul
    u…hay
    yi.
    ”(NoZul
    u,no.
    )

    Iscream,tr
    yingt
    omovebut
    ,myfeetar
    est
    uckt
    othegr
    ound.Hesl
    owl
    yti
    l
    tshi
    sheadt
    othesi
    de,
    hisbloodshotey
    esgl
    ari
    ngatme.

    Zul
    u:“
    Indodakaziy
    amiil
    ahl
    eki
    l
    e,busi
    yai
    ndodakazi
    yami
    ekhay
    a.”(
    Mydaught
    eri
    smi
    ssi
    ng,
    bri
    ng
    mydaughterbackhome.
    )

    Heechoesl
    i
    keabr okenrecord,
    Ipr
    essmypal
    msonmyear
    sandcl
    enchmyey
    esashi
    svoi
    ce
    t
    ormentsme.Suddenly
    ,itgoesqui
    et.

    Gradual
    ly
    ,Iopenmyeyestoseenoonebefor
    eme.He’
    sgone.Thetrai
    lsofbloodaregone,
    I’
    m
    l
    eftquesti
    oni
    ngmysanit
    y.If
    eelasoggi
    nessonmypant
    s,onl
    ytoreali
    sethatIhavewetmyself
    .

    STYLES*

    Thatwasahecti
    cbattl
    ewehadbackthere,I
    ’
    m gl
    adwemadei
    toutal
    i
    v e.Alotofpeopl
    edi
    ed,
    Mkhontocamethroughwi
    thhispeopl
    e.Nkomodrov
    ehomewi
    thNeo,Itol
    dhimt ogotohi
    s
    houseashispr
    esencewil
    lal
    arm Amara.

    I
    t’sri
    ghtaft
    er2am,Ihavesomanymissedcal
    lsfr
    om Khethu.Iwastoobusytoatt
    endtot
    hem,
    I
    hopeshewi l
    lunder
    standbut
    ,Iknowt
    hatIam f
    ooli
    ngmy sel
    f.Thatworddoesn’
    texi
    sti
    nher
    vocabul
    aryanymore.

    Inot
    icesmokecomi
    ngf
    rom myhouse,
    asIt
    urnonmyst
    reet
    .

    Ther
    e’saf
    ir
    e,myhousei
    sonf
    ir
    e.

    Godno,
    Khet
    hui
    sther
    e.

    Wai
    ti
    ngf
    ort
    hegat
    etoopeni
    staki
    ngl
    ongert
    hanusual
    ,asmyi
    mpat
    iencehasgr
    own.
    Idashoutoft hecarandnoti
    cet
    hatthesmokeiscomingfr
    om behindthehouse.Ir
    ushther
    e,
    onlyt
    ofindKhet hustandi
    ngi
    nfrontofabi
    gfi
    re,shehasabott
    leofgasoli
    neinherhandanda
    boxofmat ches.Thi
    nkingshewantstoj
    umpin,Irusht
    oherandpullheraway.

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Icr
    adl
    ehercheeksi
    nthepal
    m ofmyhands,
    she’
    sbeencr
    ying.Herey
    esar
    ered.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Wher
    ehav
    eyoubeenSt
    yles?
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwaswi
    thRandal
    l
    .”

    Herf
    acechanges.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ist
    hatwhyy
    ouwer
    enotanswer
    ingy
    ourphone?
    ”

    Hercal
    mnessi
    sscar
    ingme.

    Me:“Myphonewasi
    nthecar
    ,I’
    m sor
    rybaby
    .YouknewIwascomi
    ngback,
    that
    ’snor
    easont
    o
    wanttoj
    umpinthef
    ir
    e.”

    Shepushesmeaway
    ,af
    rownbui
    l
    dinguponherf
    ace.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ohno,
    thatf
    ir
    eisnotf
    orme.
    ”

    Shest
    atescol
    dly
    .

    Me:
    “Whatwer
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    hen?
    ”

    Nowt
    hatshement
    ionedi
    t,i
    tdoesn’
    tsmel
    ll
    ikewoodbur
    ningt
    her
    e.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Al
    lyourcl
    othesar
    eint
    hatf
    ir
    eSt
    yles,
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    otakey
    ourshi
    t.
    ”

    Thebombshedr
    opsl
    eav
    esmeast
    ounded.

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Ipr
    obabl
    yhear
    dwr
    ong.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Yes,
    Ibur
    ntal
    lyourcl
    othes.
    ”

    Shesay
    sitsocal
    mlyasi
    fit
    ’sanor
    mal
    thi
    ngt
    odo.

    Khethu:
    “Youknowt hati
    rking,aggravat
    ingfeel
    ingwheny oucallsomeoneandt heydon’
    t
    answerthei
    rphone.Thatfeeli
    ngst i
    ngs,Sty
    les.Al
    l Icoul
    dthinkaboutwast hatyou’r
    eprobabl
    y
    fucki
    ngsomebitch,whil
    eIwai tforyouathomel ikeastupid,cl
    ueless,submissi
    vehousewife.I
    wantedtoburnyoubut,Il
    ov eyout oomuchso, Iopt edf
    oryourclothes.”

    Sheexpl
    ainsheri
    nsani
    tywi
    thabl
    ankexpr
    essi
    ononherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu?
    ”

    Isayi
    nagasp.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Hay
    isuka.
    ”(Getouther
    e.)
    Shepushesme, makingwayforhert
    opassandwal ksawayleavingmebewilder
    ed.Ihav
    eto
    getoutofhere,
    I’
    m aboutthi
    scl
    osetoretal
    iat
    ing.Thenagain,shemightbur
    nmyhousedowni f
    Il
    eave.Ihavenochoicebut,
    togointhathouseandf aceherdemons.

    RANDALL*

    Wefinallymadei thomesaf e,Ihav


    en’theardfr
    om Styl
    esy et.Ihavetocallhi
    m onceAmarahas
    set
    tl
    edi n.Thehousei sdark,Iopenthedoorandl eadheri
    n.She’ stoddl
    ingandscanningher
    sur
    roundi ngs,asifthi
    sisherfir
    stt
    imeher e.Ir
    eachforthelightswitchonthewall,
    closet
    othe
    door.Shet urnstolookatmeasshehol dsalookofconfusion.

    Me:
    “Whati
    sitmehemma?
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Sheshakesherhead.

    Me:
    “Somet
    hingi
    sony
    ourmi
    ndAmar
    a.Won’
    tyout
    ell
    mewhati
    tis?
    ”

    Amar
    a:“
    I’
    mjustaf
    rai
    dthatIwi
    l
    lwakeupt
    omor
    rowonl
    ytof
    indt
    hat
    ,thi
    sisal
    ladr
    eam.
    ”

    Shest
    atesshy
    ly,
    Ismi
    rkatherf
    ear
    s.

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisnotadr
    eam,
    you’
    reher
    e.”

    It
    akeherhand,
    shel
    ooksati
    t,t
    henatme.

    Amar
    a:“
    Whati
    fhecomesback?Hewasabl
    etogett
    omei
    nthi
    shouse.
    ”

    Iunder
    standherwor
    ri
    es.

    Me:“Thatwil
    lnothappenagainmehemma, you’r
    ebackwithmeandIam notl
    ett
    ingyougo.
    Thi
    sisthebeginningofever
    ythi
    ng,anewli
    feforusAmara.Iwi
    l
    lwipeawayall
    yourtear
    s,Iam
    notperf
    ectbut,Iwil
    ltr
    ytobethebestper
    sonforyou.
    ”

    Ii
    nter
    twinemyfi
    ngerswi
    thher
    sandcar
    eful
    l
    yexami
    neherexpr
    essi
    on,
    Ithoughtshewoul
    dbe
    uncomfort
    abl
    eatthi
    s.

    Amar
    a:“
    Thanky
    ouf
    orsav
    ingme.
    ”

    If
    lashherasi
    mper
    ,shedoesn’
    treal
    l
    yhav
    etot
    hankme.

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouneedt
    otakeabat
    h?”

    Sheshakeshead.

    Me:
    “Letmet
    akey
    out
    obedt
    hen.I
    t’
    sal
    mostdawn.
    ”

    Withherhandi
    nmine,
    Ileadherupt
    hest
    air
    s.Isneeratt
    het
    houghtt
    hat
    ,shel
    etsmehol
    dher
    hand,t
    hiscoul
    dmeanthatshei
    sbegi
    nni
    ngtotrustme.

    Wegett
    othebedr
    oom.
    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoubeokay
    ?”

    Sher
    aiseshereyestoleeratmeandnodsr
    eluct
    ant
    ly,
    beforet
    urni
    ngtolooktowardsthebed.I
    t
    hi
    tsmet hat
    ,thel
    astti
    meshewasher e,
    Iki
    l
    ledamani nherpr
    esence,
    righti
    nthi
    sr oom.

    Me:
    “May
    beadi
    ff
    erentr
    oom wi
    l
    ldo.
    ”

    Isuggestandl
    eadherout
    ,bef
    oresher
    esponds.

    Theroom i
    scomfort
    abl
    eandhasever
    ythi
    ng,herf
    aci
    alexpr
    essi
    onconf
    ir
    mst
    hatshewi
    l
    lbe
    okay
    .Iwatchherasshetoddl
    est
    othebedandsit
    s.

    Ican’
    tbr
    ingmy
    sel
    ftol
    eav
    ingheral
    one,
    she’
    slooki
    ngatmeandt
    heneedt
    obewi
    thhergr
    ows.

    HowdoIwal
    koutnow?

    Myphonebeeps,
    it’
    samessagef
    rom St
    yles.

    St
    yles:
    {Homesaf
    e,t
    alkt
    omor
    row.
    }

    Me:
    {Myhousear
    ound12pm.
    }

    Ir
    aisemyheadt
    olookatAmar
    a.

    Me:
    “CanIasky
    ousomet
    hingmehemma?
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Amar
    a:“
    Yes.
    ”

    Shewhi
    sper
    ssof
    tl
    y,Iseeabi
    tofshy
    nessi
    nher
    .

    Isaunt
    ert
    oher
    ,shedr
    opshergazeasmyst
    abbi
    nggawphol
    dsherey
    es.

    Me:
    “CanIhol
    dyou.
    ”

    Hereyesr
    ushup,shel
    eer
    satme.Theworstt
    hingri
    ghtnowwouldbeforhertor
    ejectme.
    Pat
    iencei
    snofri
    endofmine,
    Iwon’
    tbeabl
    etosleepwit
    houtherbymyside.

    Shedoesn’tsayanythi
    ngbut ,
    crawlsonthebedandl i
    esdown.Idon’tknowift
    hisi
    say es,
    Iam
    wil
    li
    ngtotakeachancet hough.Ikickof
    fmyshoesandascendont hebed,Icageherinmy
    arms.She’
    sabi tsti
    ffso,knowingherweakness,Ibur
    ymyf aceonthecrookofherneckand
    pl
    antasoftkiss.Sheloosensupandi nawhileIhearhersoftsnor
    es.

    STYLES*

    Weneverhavevi
    sit
    orssl
    eepoverso,t
    heguestbedr
    oomshavenobeddi
    ng.Idr
    ead,havi
    ngt
    ogo
    i
    ntomybedroom t
    ogetablanket
    ,I’
    m notgoi
    ngtosl
    eepi
    nthesameroom asKhethu.

    Iwalkintofi
    ndherl
    ayi
    ngonthebed,she’
    sinhersleepwear.Shesi
    tsupandwatchesmeasI
    saunteri
    n.Igr
    abtheext
    rabl
    anketonthebedwithoutmakinganyeyecontact
    .
    Khet
    hu:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Theguestr
    oom.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “You’
    venev
    ersl
    epti
    ntheguestr
    oom bef
    ore.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’saf
    ir
    stt
    imef
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    youar
    enotl
    eav
    ingmeal
    onei
    nthi
    sroom.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam notsl
    eepi
    ngi
    nthesamer
    oom wi
    thy
    ourcr
    azyass.
    ”

    It
    oil
    towar
    dst
    hedoor
    ,sher
    unsbef
    oremeandl
    ockst
    hedooragai
    n.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hef
    uckKhet
    hu?Thi
    sagai
    n?”

    Shesnat
    chest
    hebl
    anketf
    rom meandt
    ossesi
    tont
    hebed.

    Khet
    hu:“Iam notgoi
    ngt
    osl
    eepal
    onei
    nourbedSt
    yles.Whywoul
    dyouwantt
    odot
    hist
    ome?
    I
    sthereanotherwoman?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ift
    hisi
    scandi
    dcamer
    athen,
    thej
    okei
    sonme.Igi
    veup.
    ”

    Ist
    ate,
    asIbr
    owsar
    oundt
    her
    oom.

    Khet
    hu:
    “It
    ’snotf
    unnySt
    yles.
    ”

    Shesnaps.

    Me:“I
    fther
    ewasanotherwoman,Iwoul
    dbewithherri
    ghtnow.Ican’
    tbecominghometot
    his.
    You’
    redri
    vi
    ngmecrazyKhethu,
    onewouldt
    hinkyou’
    repossessed.Whati
    swrongwit
    hyou?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Not
    hingi
    swr
    ongwi
    thme.
    ”

    Shef
    rownsi
    nthat
    .

    Me:“
    Ther
    e’snot
    hingwr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Youbur
    ntal
    lmycl
    othesandy
    ousayt
    her
    e’snot
    hing
    wr
    ongwit
    hy ou.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youcompell
    edmetodoi
    t,i
    nawayit’
    syourfaul
    t.Whatmancomeshomet
    ohi
    s
    womanat2am?Ify
    oubehav
    eStyl
    es,Iwi
    l
    lal
    sobehave.”

    Ihonest
    lyhav
    enowor
    dsf
    ort
    his.

    Me:
    “Iam behav
    edKhet
    hu,
    you’
    ret
    heonewhoi
    slosi
    nghermi
    ndher
    e.”

    Sherai
    sesherhandt
    oslapme,
    Ibl
    ocki
    tbef
    orei
    treachesmycheek.Shewi
    densherey
    esatme
    bef
    oreaccept
    ingafr
    own.

    Shegrabsmyl
    efthandanddi
    pshert
    eet
    hinmyt
    humbj
    oint
    ,If
    eel
    them si
    nki
    nasIt
    ryt
    opul
    lher
    headaway.

    Me:
    “Khet
    hust
    opi
    t.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    ,ast
    hepai
    nshoot
    sthr
    oughmywhol
    ear
    m,Iwoul
    dn’
    tbesur
    pri
    sedi
    fshecomesbackwi
    tha
    pi
    eceoff
    lesh.If
    inal
    l
    ypushheroff,
    she’
    sheav
    ingasshelooksatmewi
    thr
    age.Ii
    nspectmy
    handt
    hat
    ,nowhaspr int
    sofhert
    eeth,
    Ineedt
    oputthi
    sinice.

    Me:
    “Youneedhel
    pkhet
    hu.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ir
    efuset
    obet
    reat
    edl
    i
    ket
    rashSt
    yles.DoInotdeser
    vey
    ourr
    espect
    ?”

    Suchhy
    pocr
    isy
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’s2i
    nthemor
    ningandy
    ouhav
    etheener
    gyt
    ofi
    ght
    ?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m notf
    ight
    ingSt
    yles,
    Iam st
    andi
    ngupf
    ormyr
    ight
    s.”

    Whatt
    hehel
    ldoesshemean?

    Me:
    “Whatr
    ight
    s?Whati
    sitt
    hatI
    ’
    m doi
    ngwr
    ong?
    ”

    Khet
    hu: “
    Myr i
    ght
    sasy ourwoman.Youdon’
    ttr
    eatmer
    ightSt
    yles,
    youhav
    eadopt
    edt
    his
    dominantbehavi
    our
    .”

    Shescr
    eams,
    Idon’
    thav
    ethest
    rengt
    htoar
    gueback.

    Me:
    “Gi
    vemet
    hekey
    ,Iam t
    ir
    edandIwantt
    ogot
    obed.
    ”

    SheFr
    ownsatmeandr
    oll
    sherey
    esi
    nthepr
    ocess.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Theonl
    ybedy
    ouwi
    l
    lbesl
    eepi
    ngon,
    ist
    hisone.
    ”

    Shestates,
    pointi
    ngatt
    hebed.Thekeyisbackinherbustagain,
    shetoddlest
    obedandget
    s
    underthecovers.I
    ’
    mleftst
    andi
    nginthemiddl
    eoftheroom, f
    labber
    gasted.

    Whyam Inotabl
    etoputhert
    oor
    der
    ?

    Ihat
    ethatIl
    ovehersomuch.

    Khethu:“
    Wil
    lyoust
    andt
    her
    eal
    lni
    ghtorcomet
    obed?And,
    pleaseswi
    tchof
    fthel
    i
    ght
    ,it
    ’st
    oo
    br
    ight.
    ”

    Sheasksandcommandsassher
    aisesherhead,
    nowayam Isl
    eepi
    ngont
    hatbedwi
    thher
    .

    Igr
    abt
    heextr
    abl
    anket,
    spreadi
    tont
    hef
    loor
    ,dr
    opt
    hepi
    l
    lowandl
    i
    edown.She’
    swat
    chi
    ngme
    wit
    hadi
    sgust
    edl
    ook,asIdothi
    s.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    67*

    Aweekl
    ater
    .

    NOMBULELO*

    “
    Iwantt
    hatbabyi
    nyourwomb,
    giv
    eitt
    ome.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mbuso!
    !!
    ”

    Ij
    umpupscr
    eami
    ngf
    rom t
    hebed,
    waki
    ngMbusoupaswel
    l
    .

    Mbuso:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Heput
    shi
    shandonmyback.

    Me:
    “Ihadt
    hatdr
    eam agai
    n.”

    Myhearti
    sbeat
    ingfastandmykneesar
    eweak,
    thi
    shappensev
    eryni
    ghtnow.Ikeepdr
    eami
    ng
    oft
    hatwoman,sayi
    ngshewantsmybaby.

    Mbuso:
    “Wehav
    etodosomet
    hingLel
    o,hav
    ingt
    hesamedr
    eam r
    epeat
    edl
    ycannotbegood.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ineedwat
    er.
    ”

    Hereachest
    ohissideoft
    hebedandgetsmeagl ass.MbusoandIhav
    ebeenshar
    ingabed
    si
    nce,hewasri
    ghtaboutt
    hener
    vousnessnothappeningagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Thanks.
    ”

    Igul
    pitdowni
    nonego.

    Mbuso:
    “Whatdoy
    out
    hinkt
    hiscoul
    dbe?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    ifIdi
    d,Iwoul
    d’v
    efoundasol
    uti
    on.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “May
    bey
    oushoul
    dseesomeoneabouti
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Asangoma?
    ”(At
    radi
    ti
    onal
    heal
    er?
    )

    Mbuso:
    “Whoev
    ery
    ou’
    recomf
    ort
    abl
    ewi
    th.
    ”

    Thi
    scoul
    dbespi
    ri
    tual
    ,may
    beIshoul
    dconsi
    deri
    t.

    Me:“Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingIcan’
    tshakeof
    f,t
    hiswomant
    orment
    ingmydr
    eams.It
    hinkIhav
    eseen
    hersomewhere.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Sheshowsherf
    acenow?
    ”

    Me:“No,
    herfaceisalwayshi
    dden.Herbodyt
    hough,
    MbusoIhav
    eseenherbef
    orebut
    ,Ican’
    t
    putt
    hepuzzl
    et oget
    her.
    ”
    Mbuso:
    “Ihav
    eaf
    ri
    endwhoknowssomeone,
    thewomani
    sapr
    ophet
    .Wecangoseeher
    .”

    Me:
    “Iguessi
    t’
    sti
    meIf
    indcl
    ari
    fi
    cat
    ion.
    ”

    IhopeZumahasnot hingt
    odowi t
    hthi
    s,hewasint
    omuti(t
    radi
    ti
    onalmedici
    ne.)Hesai
    dhis
    mot hert
    oldhi
    mthat,90%ofpeopl
    euseitandwhenyoudon’t
    ,al
    lthei
    rbadluckfal
    l
    sony ou.I
    thoughti
    ttobeabsurd.

    Mbuso:
    “Yeah,
    Idon’
    twantany
    thi
    ngbadt
    ohappent
    oyouandGoku.
    ”

    Ismi
    l
    eandr
    oll
    myey
    es.

    Me:
    “Eyt
    hatname.I
    fIwant
    edt
    odat
    eaJapanese,
    Iwoul
    dhav
    e,y
    ouknow?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mbuso:
    “Huh!
    !!Poorguy
    ,hewoul
    dn’
    thav
    ebeenabl
    etohandl
    east
    rong,
    phenomenal
    black
    woman.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    tknowt
    hisi
    showhet
    hinksofme.

    Me:
    “Youar
    ear
    omant
    ic,
    youknowt
    hat
    ?”

    Hegr
    ins.

    Mbuso:
    “Isai
    dther
    ightwor
    dsandear
    nedmeat
    it
    least
    hewor
    ld’
    smostr
    omant
    icman.
    ”

    Het
    apshi
    sshoul
    der
    ,Il
    aughathi
    m.

    Me:
    “Rel
    ax,
    don’
    tgetcar
    ri
    edaway
    .I’
    m notdone.
    ”

    Hef
    rowns.

    Me:
    “Youar
    ear
    omant
    ic,
    youj
    ustdon’
    tshowi
    tof
    ten.I
    t’
    shi
    ddenbut
    ,Il
    i
    key
    out
    hewayy
    ouar
    e.”

    Mbuso:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    orbur
    sti
    ngmybubbl
    e.”

    Hepout
    s.

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tchangeat
    hingabouty
    ou,
    you’
    reper
    fect
    .”

    Thatsmi
    l
    eonhi
    sface.
    ..

    Mbuso:
    “Idi
    dn’
    theart
    hat
    ,sayi
    tagai
    n.”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    esasIsmi
    l
    eathi
    ssi
    l
    li
    ness.

    Me:
    “You’
    reper
    fect
    .”

    Hest
    andsont
    hebedashej
    umpswi
    thexci
    tement
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Youheart
    hatwor
    ld?Mywomant
    hinksI
    ’
    m per
    fect
    .”

    Heannouncesl
    oudl
    y,i
    fitwasn’
    tinweehour
    soft
    hemor
    ning,
    thenei
    ghbour
    swoul
    dbeknocki
    ng
    onourdoor.
    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    youdor
    eal
    i
    zet
    hat
    ,it
    ’si
    nthemi
    ddl
    eoft
    heni
    ght
    ,ri
    ght
    ?”

    Hekneel
    sinf
    rontofme,
    hisey
    essmi
    l
    ingatme.

    Mbuso:
    “Idon’
    tcar
    e,peopl
    emustknowt
    hatIam t
    hel
    ucki
    estmanal
    i
    ve.
    ”

    Asi
    deIdon’
    tseeof
    tenashe’
    sal
    way
    scl
    owni
    ng.

    Me:
    “You’
    resweet
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Iknowr
    ight
    ?”

    Hepecksmyl
    i
    ps.

    Thi
    shappinessscar
    esme,i
    talmostf
    eel
    sli
    keitwi
    l
    l besnat
    chedawayfrom melikeevery
    thi
    ngI
    hel
    ddear.Idon’
    tknowwhatIwoul
    ddoifIwer
    etolosethi
    sman,I’
    m notprepar
    edf ori
    t.

    STYLES*

    Iwakeupwi
    thKhet
    hust
    raddl
    i
    ngmeandpl
    ant
    ingki
    ssesonmybody
    ,shesmi
    l
    eswhenmyey
    es
    meether
    s.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ki
    ssi
    ngmyman.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    esandpecksmyl
    i
    pswhi
    l
    etr
    yingt
    otakeof
    fmyt
    -shi
    rt
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m noti
    nthemood.
    ”

    It
    ryt
    opushherof
    f,shecl
    enchesherl
    egsar
    oundmywai
    st.

    Khet
    hu:
    “ComeonSt
    yles,
    Ineedy
    ou.Whatdoy
    ouwantmet
    odowi
    thmy
    sel
    f?”

    Shetat
    tooski
    ssesall
    overmyfaceandgent
    lybi
    tesmyear,usual
    l
    ythi
    swoul
    dmakemeweak
    andIwouldgi
    veintoher
    .TodayIam r
    epul
    sedbyherki
    sses.

    Me:
    “Isai
    d,I
    ’
    m noti
    nthemood.
    ”

    Ipushherof
    fhar
    dert
    hist
    imeandshef
    all
    stohersi
    deoft
    hebed,
    Iqui
    ckl
    ygetupandputonat
    -
    shi
    rt.

    Khethu:
    “Now,
    you’
    renotmanenought
    omakel
    ovet
    oyourwoman?Youcan’
    tgeti
    tupany
    mor
    e
    Sty
    les?”

    Herwordsbr
    eakmeandaggravat
    emeatthesameti
    me.Igr
    ipherarm,pull
    i
    ngherof
    fthebed,
    shecr
    ushesonmychest
    .She’sgl
    ari
    ngupatmewit
    hasmugl ookonherface.

    Me:
    “Howdar
    eyousayt
    hatt
    ome?Ihav
    etol
    erat
    edy
    ournonsensel
    ongenough.
    ”
    Igr
    ate.

    Khethu:“Whatwilly
    oudoSt yles?Hitme?Doit,hi
    tmeSt yl
    es.RememberI’
    m awoman, the
    momentIr unoutoft hi
    shouseandscr eam GenderBasedViol
    ence.Peopl
    ewi l
    lcomet omy
    rescue,att
    hispoint
    ,thewholecount r
    yisagai
    nstyou.Therearetr
    endsgoi
    ngon, onsocial
    medi a,
    I’
    m sureyou’veseenthem.‘Howaboutifyouseeawomanabused, beatthatni
    gga
    chall
    enge.’
    Noonewi l
    lbeli
    eveamanov erawomant hankstotheGBVcampai gn.”

    Ipushherof
    f.

    Me:
    “You’
    resi
    ck.
    ”

    Igr
    abmyphoneandmar
    choutoft
    her
    oom.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ngSt
    yles?
    ”

    Shestri
    desaftermeasIscurr
    ydownthestairs.Igr
    abt
    hecarkey
    sfr
    om t
    heki
    tchencount
    er,
    shetr
    iestotakethem f
    rom mebut
    ,isunsuccessful
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles!
    !!
    ”

    Shescr
    eamsatme,
    Iignor
    eherasIt
    readout
    side.Mycari
    spar
    kedi
    nthedr
    iveway
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesdon’
    tgo.
    ”

    Shescr eams,asIplodtothecar
    .Shepicksupast oneandt hr
    owsitatme.Iduckandithit
    sthe
    carwindow, she’
    sonmyf acebythetimeIbri
    ngmy sel
    fup.Shecat
    chesmeof fguardand
    tackl
    esme, pushingmeont heground.Shest
    raddlesmeasshet hr
    owspunchaf terpunchon
    myf ace.Myhandsar eonherwaist,t
    ryi
    ngtopull
    herof fofme.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youar
    etr
    ashSt
    ylesSi
    shi
    .”

    Shescr
    eamsr
    epeat
    edl
    y.

    Imanagetoli
    ftherupandshovehert
    ot hesi
    de.Sheri
    psoffthesl
    eev
    eofhertop,i
    tbeat
    sme
    whereshegotthestr
    engt
    hfrom.Shestart
    spushingmeagainstt
    hecarandboxi
    ngmewi thher
    ti
    nyhands.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Genderbasedv
    iol
    ence.Hel
    p,genderbasedv
    iol
    ence.
    ”

    Shescr
    eamsherl
    ungsout
    ,whi
    l
    ethr
    owi
    ngher
    sel
    fatme,
    maki
    ngi
    tlookl
    i
    keI
    ’
    m at
    tacki
    ngher
    .

    Me:
    “Khet
    hust
    op.
    ”

    Ir
    estr
    ainherhands,
    inhopest
    hatshewi
    l
    lcal
    m downbut
    ,thi
    sjustmakesherscr
    eam ev
    en
    l
    ouder.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Genderbasedv
    iol
    ence.
    ”

    Shecar
    ri
    esonwi
    tht
    hisr
    epet
    it
    ion.

    Iseeacouplef
    rom acr
    osst
    hestr
    eetmarchoutofthei
    rhouse.Thi
    sisbadf
    orme,
    theywi
    l
    l
    beli
    eveherwor
    ds,t
    heonlyt
    hingi
    stogetoutofher
    e.
    “
    Hey
    ,whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Themany
    ell
    s,asher
    unt
    ous.

    IshoveKhet
    hutotheside,
    gent
    lyandj
    umpinthecar
    .Herfacesaysshecan’
    tbeli
    evet
    hatI
    ’
    m
    l
    eaving.Myphoneri
    ngsasIdri
    veaway
    .Icheckt
    hecall
    erI
    d,hopingi
    t’
    snother.

    I
    t’
    sSethu,
    we’
    veactuall
    ybeental
    ki
    ngalmostev
    erydaynow.Wehav
    ehungoutacoupl
    eof
    t
    imes,
    sheisafunpersontobearound.

    Me:
    “Nur
    se.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ij
    ustt
    houghtofy
    ouandhadt
    ocal
    l
    .”

    Shest
    ates,
    thi
    sisnew.She’
    snotusual
    l
    ythi
    sbol
    d.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sgoodt
    oknowt
    hatsomeoneoutt
    her
    e,i
    sthi
    nki
    ngofme.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “CanIt
    ell
    yousomet
    hing?Pl
    easedon’
    tlaughort
    hinkI
    ’
    m wei
    rd.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m al
    lear
    s.”

    Set
    hu:
    “Whi
    l
    erunni
    ngmyr
    ounds,
    Ifel
    tthi
    sneedt
    opr
    ayf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    That
    ’sal
    sonew.

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    HowdoIr
    espondt
    othi
    s?

    Set
    hu:
    “Ar
    eyouokayMr
    .St
    yles?Somet
    hingi
    snotr
    ight
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    ne.
    ”

    Il
    i
    e,I
    ’
    m act
    ual
    l
    ydy
    ingi
    nsi
    de.Mypr
    idewon’
    tletmespeakout
    .

    Sethu:“
    Okay
    ,youknowyoucant
    alkt
    ome,
    right
    ?Mypast
    or’
    sfav
    our
    it
    esay
    ingi
    s‘apr
    obl
    em
    sharedi
    saprobl
    em sol
    ved.
    ”

    Thesoundofherv
    oicehol
    dsasmi
    l
    e.

    Me:
    “You’
    reachur
    chgi
    rl
    ?”

    Idi
    dn’
    tknow,
    shel
    aughs.

    Set
    hu:“I
    fthat
    ’sathi
    ng,
    yes,
    Igot
    ochur
    chonSunday
    swhenI
    ’
    m notwor
    king.Youshoul
    dcome
    wit
    h,sometime.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notr
    eal
    l
    yachur
    chper
    son,
    Godwoul
    dli
    ter
    all
    ysendSt
    .Mi
    chael
    tost
    opmef
    rom
    ent
    eri
    ngt
    hosedoor
    s.”

    It
    hinkshewoul
    dlaughbut
    …

    Sethu:“Godisnotar
    espect
    erofper
    sonsMr.Sty
    les.Heaccept
    susal
    lwi
    thourf
    lawsand
    mistakes.Hewantsyouj
    ustthewayyouar
    e.”

    Thi
    sisget
    ti
    nguncomf
    ort
    abl
    eforme.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hisaf
    reeser
    monorshoul
    dIt
    it
    heaf
    tert
    his?
    ”

    Ij
    okeandt
    hist
    imeshel
    aughs.

    Set
    hu:
    “You’
    ref
    unny
    .”

    Speaki
    ngtoher
    ,Ir
    eal
    izet
    hatIhav
    eforgot
    tenaboutmytroubl
    es.Myhear
    tfeel
    sabi
    tli
    ght
    erand
    ther
    eseemstobeatadbi
    tofhopethatev
    eryt
    hingwil
    lbeokay.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    ort
    hecal
    lSet
    hu.
    ”

    Imeani
    t.

    Set
    hu:
    “Nopr
    obl
    em,
    I’
    m her
    eify
    ouwantt
    otal
    kandI
    ’
    m pr
    ayi
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Thi
    smeansal
    otal
    though,
    Iam notabel
    i
    ever
    .

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “By
    e.”

    Icutt
    hecal
    landmyphoner
    ingsagai
    n,i
    t’
    sKhet
    hu.Iputi
    tonsi
    l
    ent
    ,Iam donewi
    thher
    .

    RANDALL*

    Styl
    eslooksli
    kehel
    l
    ,thatwomanhasf i
    nal
    lymanagedtodraghim down.It’
    sbeenovert
    endays
    andKhethuissti
    l
    latit
    ,sherefusest
    ogethelp.St
    ylesspendsmostofhist i
    meinmyhouse,i
    f
    he’snother
    e,he’
    swithSethu.Thei
    rfr
    iendshi
    phasblossomed,hi
    sf acel
    ightsupwhenshei
    s
    broughtup.

    Het
    ell
    smeast
    oryabouthowKhet
    huat
    tackedhi
    m atar
    est
    aur
    ant
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ideci
    dedt
    hatwegoout
    ,may
    bespendi
    ngt
    imet
    oget
    herwaswhatweneed.
    ”

    {
    FLASHBACK}

    Thewaitr
    esstakesouror
    der
    s,thist
    imeInoti
    cethatherat
    ti
    tudehaschanged,
    shekeeps
    shoot
    ingdaggersatmeandeyeingthepoorl
    ady
    .Thewai t
    ressgi
    vesmet hefr
    iendl
    ycust
    omer
    smil
    eandwal ksoff
    .
    khet
    hu:
    “Whatwast
    hat
    ?”

    I
    ’
    m al
    readyt
    akenabackbyherconduct
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Isenseanargument
    ,Iknowhowherf
    acel
    ookswhenshe’
    saboutt
    ost
    art
    .Shehasbecome
    content
    ious.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youwer
    elooki
    ngatherSt
    yles.I
    sshepr
    ett
    y?Yout
    hinkshe’
    spr
    ett
    y,r
    ight
    ?”

    Me:
    “Pl
    easedon’
    tst
    art
    .”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m notst
    art
    ingany
    thi
    ng,
    youst
    art
    edi
    tbyundr
    essi
    ngt
    hewai
    tr
    esswi
    thy
    ourey
    es.
    ”

    Isi
    ghheav
    il
    y.

    Me:
    “Khet
    huy
    ou’
    reseei
    ngt
    hings,
    we’
    rei
    npubl
    i
    c,donotst
    artanar
    gumentwi
    thme.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:“Whydon’
    twecal
    lheroverso,
    youcant
    ell
    herhowbeaut
    if
    ulshei
    s.Whoknows,
    may
    be
    youcangoshagheri
    nthetoi
    l
    ets?”

    Icl
    enchmyj
    awatherwor
    ds.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tfucki
    ngt
    alkt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Igr
    owl
    ather
    ,sher
    espondswi
    thagr
    in.

    Khet
    hu:
    “That
    ’st
    het
    rut
    h,y
    ou’
    recl
    ear
    lyanaspi
    ri
    ngmanwhor
    eli
    key
    ourf
    ri
    endRandal
    l
    .”

    Shespewsoutt
    hewor
    ds,
    I’
    m nothur
    tbyheri
    nsol
    enceany
    mor
    e.I
    tnowaggr
    avat
    esme.

    Me:
    “Got
    ohel
    lKhet
    hu,
    I’
    m outofher
    e.”

    Igetup,
    shej
    umpsandpushesmebackont
    heseat
    .Shehast
    hiscol
    demot
    ionl
    essexpr
    essi
    on.

    Khet
    hu:
    “You’
    renotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e,we’
    regoi
    ngt
    osi
    tdownandeatl
    i
    kewepl
    anned.
    ”

    She’
    ssay i
    ngthiswhil
    ethrowi
    ngsl
    apsatme, Ishiel
    dthem wi
    thmyhands.Peoplear
    ewatching,
    somear etaki
    ngvideosandpi
    ctur
    es.Thisiswhent hemanagercomesandaskshert ol
    eavethe
    eat
    ery.She’sadamantandref
    usestoleave,Iwalkedoutanddri
    vehome,l
    eavingherscr
    eaming
    myname.

    {
    ENDOFFLASHBACK}

    Styl
    es:“I
    ’mti
    redRandy,
    peoplekeepempoweri
    ngourwomenbut
    ,whocomest
    otal
    ktousabout
    regai
    ningourdi
    gni
    tyandlendsali
    steni
    ngear
    .”

    He’
    sfi
    nal
    l
    yopeni
    ngupt
    ome,
    aft
    erbei
    ngi
    ndeni
    alf
    orsol
    ong.

    Ifoundhi
    m wai
    ti
    ngf
    ormeinthebackyar
    d,Ihav
    etogi
    veitt
    oSt
    yles.Onewoul
    dtur
    ntoal
    cohol
    ordrugsj
    ustt
    onumbthepai
    nyet,
    heremainedwhohei
    s.
    Styl
    es:“Idon’
    tknowthatwomani nmyhouse, she’
    smani
    pul
    ati
    veandabusive.Shedragsme
    downatev erychancesheget
    s,Ihaven’
    tbeenabletot
    ouchheryouknowandt hathas
    fr
    ustrat
    edhersomuch.Shewoul dinsultmymanhoodtoapointwhereIgi
    veinandsl eepwi
    th
    her,
    andbel i
    evemewhenIsay ,If
    eelli
    keshitaft
    er.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lthatwoman,
    Ihadnoi
    deai
    thadcomet
    hisf
    ar.

    Sty
    les:
    “Menhav ebeensexual
    l
    yabusedinconfl
    ict
    s,i
    t’
    snotcompletel
    youtt
    her
    ebecauseit’
    sa
    hi
    ddenissue.I
    t’
    snotli
    keIcan’
    tfi
    ghtback,
    Iguessmyl ov
    eforherhasledmehere.Il
    etherget
    awaywithever
    ythi
    ng.”

    Me:“
    It’
    snotloveany
    mor ebr
    uh,i
    t’
    spit
    y.Youf
    eell
    ikeyouoweher,y
    ouhav
    ebeent
    oget
    herf
    or
    ov
    erfouryearsandl
    ett
    inggoofalongter
    mrel
    ati
    onshipi
    snoteasy.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs,
    asheponder
    suponmywor
    ds.

    Styl
    es:“YouknowIl etherdowhat evershewant sbecauseIt houghtsheneededt ohealfr
    om
    l
    osinghergr andparentsbut,itdi
    dn’tst
    op.Shest artedwi t
    hpi nchingmeev eni
    npubl i
    c.I
    tturned
    toscratches,thenoutburstofangerandescal atedt opunchesandsl aps.Shewoul datt
    ackme
    forspeakingtoaf emaleandassumet hatIam sleepingwi t
    ht hatperson.Ican’tevensl
    eepi n
    theguestr oom becauseshel ocksthedoorandwhenI ’m abletogetout ,shefoll
    owsmet here.
    Stati
    sti
    cssuppor tthefactthatwomenmakeupt hemaj ori
    tyofv ict
    imsofgenderbased
    viol
    encebut ,whataboutmenandboy swhoar eal sov i
    cti
    ms? ”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisenoughSt
    yles,
    youcannotl
    i
    vei
    nbondage.Khet
    humustgo.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Wher
    ewi
    l
    lshegoRandy
    ?I’
    m al
    lsheknows.
    ”

    Me: “
    StylesI’
    m notkiddi
    ngman,getthatwomanoutofy ourhouseorIwilldoi
    t.Shewon’
    tbe
    thefi
    rstwomant obedumpedafteralongter
    mr el
    ati
    onship.Khethuisol
    denoughtobeheld
    accountableforheracti
    ons,
    youbothconsentedtot
    hisrelat
    ionshipandyoudon’
    towehershit
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Khet
    hui
    sbr
    okenRandal
    l
    ,Ineedt
    ohel
    pher
    .”

    Me:“Youseethis,
    righther
    e?This,
    isthehol
    dshehasony ou.She’
    sgotyoubythehookandshe
    knowsit
    ,Styl
    esIam notgoingtoburyyou.Doyouhearme?Shewi l
    lev
    entual
    l
    ykil
    lyou,y
    ou
    knowthatr
    ight?
    ”

    He’
    snotsay
    ingany
    thi
    ng.

    Me: “Okay,youwantt otalkstati


    stics?Let ’
    stalkst ati
    sti
    cs,St
    y l
    es.You’r
    enott hefir
    stmant obe
    av i
    ctim ofdomesticviol
    ence, 40%ofmenar ev ictimsofgenderbasedv i
    olenceandmenar e
    mor eli
    kelytobekill
    eddur ingencount ers.IfyoudonotsendKhet huaway ,shewi l
    lki
    lly ou.I
    knowasamani t
    ’shar dtospeakout ,peoplewi lll
    aughi nyourfaceandsayy ou’renotman
    enough.Whydoy oulety ourwomanweart hepant sinthehouse?Theywi l
    l callyouall sortof
    names.Theyspeakf rom adi st
    ancebecauset heyar enotinyoursituat
    ion.It’
    snotbecause
    you’reweakbut,you’rear ealman.Theoneswhomocky oufornothitt
    ingawoman, theyar e
    halfmen.I t
    ’st
    hem whom womenshoul dbeaf raidofbecausei ftabl
    eswer et urned,clearlythey
    woul dturntovi
    olence.I’
    m notgoi ngtol iebruh, t
    hewor ldneedsmor emenl ikey ou,you’ r
    ea
    protectorandIam fuckingpr oudofy ou.”
    At
    earf
    all
    sfr
    om hi
    sey
    e,hewi
    pesi
    tof
    fswi
    ft
    ly.

    Styl
    es:“
    Myspiri
    tisbrokenRandal
    l
    ,Ist
    ayawakeev er
    yni
    ghtthi
    nkingofwaystoki
    l
    lmy sel
    f.I
    havefal
    leni
    ntodepressi
    on,Il
    ostmysel
    f-
    respectandmydigni
    ty.Thatwomanhaslef
    tme
    feel
    ingpower
    lessandempt y.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wewi
    l
    lgety
    ouhel
    p.”

    St
    yles:“
    No,Idon’
    twantany
    oneknowi
    ngaboutt
    his.Pr
    omi
    semeRandal
    l
    ,youwi
    l
    lnott
    ell
    a
    si
    nglesoul
    ,notev
    enNeoandNkomo.”

    Me:“
    Iwil
    lnev
    ert
    odot
    hatt
    oyou,
    we’
    rebr
    other
    sandI
    ’
    vegoty
    ou.CanIasky
    ouf
    orsomet
    hing
    t
    hough?
    ”

    Hescowl
    satme.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    letmegett
    hatdemonoutofy
    ourhouse,
    onceI
    ’
    m donewi
    thher
    …”

    Styl
    es:“
    No,
    Iknowhowy
    oudeal
    wit
    hpeopl
    e.Iam donewi
    thKhet
    hu,
    Iwi
    l
    lsendherbackt
    oher
    fat
    her.
    ”

    Me:“
    Khethui
    sadi
    sgr
    acet
    owomen,
    ther
    ear
    ewomanwhoar
    esuf
    fer
    ingoutt
    her
    eint
    hehands
    ofmonst
    ers.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Cany
    oubel
    i
    eveshe’
    susi
    ngt
    heGBVcampai
    gnasherdef
    ence.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thati
    slow,
    I’
    m st
    il
    lwai
    ti
    ngf
    orper
    missi
    ont
    odeal
    wit
    hher
    .”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    St
    yles:“
    Iknowhowyoudealwi
    thpeopl
    e,l
    ookwhaty
    ou’
    vedonewi
    thOl
    i
    via.Youhav
    ekepther
    pr
    isoneri
    nherownhouse.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notdonewi
    thhery
    et.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Iknow.Howi
    sAmar
    a?”

    Myf
    avour
    it
    ethi
    ngt
    otal
    kabout
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouhav
    eawomani
    nyourbed,
    nowomanhasev
    ergr
    acedy
    ourbed.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wear
    ebackt
    obei
    ngi
    diot
    s?Thanksf
    ort
    hememo.
    ”

    Hemi
    ghtl
    aughbut
    ,Icanseet
    hepai
    ninhi
    sey
    es.

    Me:
    “Amar
    aisokay
    ,she’
    sset
    tl
    ingi
    n.If
    eart
    hatshemi
    ghtwantt
    oseeherf
    ami
    l
    y.”

    St
    yles:
    “Hasshebr
    oughti
    tup?
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    Iknowshe’
    sthi
    nki
    ngabouti
    tthough.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Doy
    out
    hinkmay
    bey
    oushoul
    dtakehert
    her
    e?”

    Badi
    dea.
    Me:
    “No,
    thatbaboonMkhi
    zei
    sst
    il
    loutt
    her
    eandt
    hatsonofabi
    tchMoses.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“Mkhi
    zeisasslyasafox.Hewon’tshowhimselfanyti
    mesoon, he’
    sashamed.Hel
    osta
    batt
    le,hi
    swifehasgonecrazyandhisbr
    other
    shaveturnedagainsthi
    m.Hedoesn’thavet
    he
    couragetoshowhisfacebut,Iknowhewil
    lbebackforrevenge.
    ”

    Me:
    “Can’
    twej
    ustki
    l
    lhi
    m?”

    St
    yles:
    “Thatsonofabi
    tchhasescapeddeat
    hmanyt
    imes,
    hisancest
    orsar
    ewi
    thhi
    m.”

    Thatmeansnot
    hing.

    Me:“
    Ithi
    nki
    t’
    sti
    mewet
    urnt
    het
    abl
    es,
    lethi
    m bewi
    thhi
    sancest
    ors.I
    ’
    mti
    redofseei
    nghi
    sugl
    y
    f
    ace.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    esandshakeshi
    shead.

    Styl
    es:“Youneedt ocontr
    olthathungert
    hat,mansti
    ll
    hastosuf f
    er.Iwantevery
    onehehol ds
    deartoturnagainsthi
    m, i
    ncl
    udinghisfamil
    y.Famil
    ymeansal ottoMkhize,younoticedhowhe
    coul
    dn’tdealwithNkomot urni
    ngagainsthi
    m.Oncehe’sallal
    one,weat t
    ack.Wet akehis
    busi
    nessandl eavehim wit
    hnot hi
    ng.IwanttoseeMkhizewashingtaxi
    sattherank, Iwantt
    o
    seehim begformoney .Iam goingtotur
    nthatmanintoahobo.”

    Me:
    “Il
    i
    ket
    hesoundoft
    hat
    .So,
    youwantt
    otakeov
    erhi
    sbusi
    ness?
    ”

    Sty
    les:
    “Whatwill
    Idowithataxi
    busi
    ness?Iknowaguy
    ,Kennet
    hMkhi
    ze.Heownst
    axi
    s,hei
    s
    onerut
    hlesssonofagun.”

    Me:
    “Gr
    eat
    !Anot
    herMkhi
    zeman?
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Theyar
    enotr
    elat
    ed,
    Kennet
    hwoul
    dreal
    l
    ylov
    ethi
    sgi
    ft
    .”

    Me:
    “Isee.Whoi
    she?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youdon’
    twantt
    oknowhi
    m,t
    rustme.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    hatmeansbut
    ,Iknowt
    hatMkhi
    zedeser
    vesev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    hat
    ’scomi
    ngt
    ohi
    m.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    68*

    RANDALL*

    ThingswithAmaraaregoi ngokay,wearetaki
    ngitonestepatatime.Shehasawkwar d
    moment swhichItryt
    obr ushoff,
    she’sabitshyaroundme.But,shewil
    lgetahangofit.Il
    i
    ke
    seeingherbei
    ngfreearoundthehouse,it
    ’sdif
    fer
    entbecausethi
    st i
    me,she’
    snotlockedupina
    room.

    Speaki
    ngofaroom,myobsessi
    onoverherhasbroughtmet
    oherbedr
    oom ev
    eryni
    ght
    .The
    l
    ongingtohol
    dheri
    nmyarmsi sal
    waysgreatert
    hanme.

    Iseeherpl
    oddi
    ngdownt
    hef
    oyer
    ,she’
    sheadedupst
    air
    s.

    Isneakupbehindherandcor
    nerheragai
    nstt
    hewal
    l
    ,shest
    if
    lesay
    elp.Hermi
    ndwas
    somewhereelse.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sj
    ustme.
    ”

    Isaysof
    tl
    y.

    Thi
    szombi
    emodeofher
    swor
    ri
    esme.

    Amar
    a:“
    Youscar
    edme.
    ”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    Me:
    “Youshoul
    dst
    opt
    hinki
    ngal
    ot,
    yourbr
    ainwi
    l
    lbur
    st.
    ”

    Shef
    orcesasmi
    l
    e.

    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oaskwhatthepr
    obl
    em i
    sbecauseIcan’
    tfi
    xitatt
    hemoment
    .But
    ,Icanassur
    e
    hert
    hat,shewi
    l
    lseeherf
    amil
    yoneday
    .

    Me:
    “Youknowwhyy
    oucan’
    tseet
    hem r
    ight
    ?”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ,mehemma?Tel
    lmeandIwi
    l
    lgi
    vei
    ttoy
    ou.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Sheshakesherhead.

    Amar
    a:“
    Not
    hing,
    thef
    actt
    hatI
    ’
    m her
    ewi
    thy
    oui
    senough.
    ”

    Ismi
    rkatheranswer
    ,Idi
    dn’
    texpecthert
    osayt
    his.Ther
    eismor
    ethough,
    herey
    essayi
    t.

    Shesilentl
    yglancesatme, Ican’
    ttel
    lwhatshe’
    st hi
    nki
    ng.Iwishshewouldtel
    lmewhatison
    hermi nd.Bei
    ngt hi
    sclosetoherIam overcomebyt heurgetokissher
    .Sheseesme
    scrut
    inizi
    ngherlips,Ici
    rcl
    emyhandonherwai standpullhercl
    osetome,shutt
    ingt
    hespace
    betweenus.Herhandsf al
    lonmyupperar ms,she’sdi
    ffi
    dentl
    yglanci
    ngupatme.
    Me:
    “You’
    remi
    net
    okeep,
    mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Shecl
    oseshereyesandbitesherlowerli
    pwhenIl eanovertot
    akeherl
    ipsintomi ne.Herbody
    tr
    emblesundermytouch,asIsuckonherl i
    ps.Ismirkt
    hroughtheki
    sswhenIr eali
    zethat,she’
    s
    notl
    ett
    ingmein.So,Ini
    pherlowerlip,
    shest i
    fl
    esamoanandI ’
    mi n.Mytonguefindshersand
    i
    namomentwear elosti
    nthisunquenchablekiss.

    “
    Getar
    oom.
    ”

    Amar
    afl
    i
    nchesandpul
    l
    sbackatt
    hesoundofRav
    en’
    svoi
    ce,
    thi
    smanhasbadt
    imi
    ng.

    It
    urnar
    oundandher
    ehei
    s,i
    nmyf
    oyerwi
    thagr
    inonhi
    sface.

    Igr
    owl
    athi
    m,hel
    aughsi
    nret
    urn.

    Me:
    “It
    hinki
    t’
    sti
    meIgetadog,
    forunwant
    edv
    isi
    tor
    s.”

    Hel
    aughsandt
    oddl
    est
    ous.

    Rav
    en:
    “So,
    thi
    sist
    hewomanwhohaskeptmybr
    otheri
    nexi
    l
    e?”

    Het
    hinkshe’
    sfunny
    ,Amar
    asmi
    l
    es.

    Raventakesherhandandki
    ssesit
    ,Idon’tknowwhyheshoul
    dpr
    act
    icehi
    scour
    tesyonot
    her
    peopl
    e’
    swomen.Amar ast
    il
    lhol
    dsawel comingsmi
    le.

    Rav
    en:
    “Rav
    enOkol
    i
    e,t
    hehandsomebr
    other
    .”

    Hei
    ntr
    oduces.

    Rav
    en:
    “YoumustbeAmar
    a?”

    Amar
    a:“
    Yes,
    pleasur
    etomeety
    ouRav
    en.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Thepleasur
    eismine.Iknowmybrotheri
    sugl
    ybut,youdon’
    thav
    et odohi
    m af
    avour
    .
    We’
    dunder
    standifyoul
    eavehim,thi
    nkoft
    hekids.Or
    ,isi
    tthei
    rpr
    oblem?”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Amar
    a:“
    It
    ’st
    hei
    rpr
    obl
    em.
    ”

    Sher
    espondswi
    thal
    augh,
    asshegl
    ancesatme,
    Ishakemyhead.Rav
    eni
    scr
    azy
    .

    Me:“I
    fIr
    emembercor r
    ect
    ly,
    Iboughtanaxelastweek.I
    twill
    sli
    cet
    hrought
    hathandni
    cel
    y,
    keephol
    dingherhandRav
    .Iwil
    ldothehonoursofremovingit
    .”

    Idecl
    are,
    theybot
    hlaugh.

    Amar
    a:“
    Whowi
    l
    lgr
    eetmel
    i
    ket
    hisi
    fyoucutof
    fhi
    shand?
    ”

    Ismi
    rkather
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m her
    e,ar
    en’
    tI?Youdon’
    tneedhi
    sol
    dbr
    it
    tl
    ehand.
    ”

    Shel
    aughswhi
    l
    eRav
    enchor
    tl
    es.
    Rav
    en:
    “You’
    reahat
    er.
    ”

    Me:“
    Now,t
    hatyoutwohavemet.Rav
    enplease,
    lety
    ourf
    eetl
    eady
    oubackwher
    eyoucame
    f
    rom,wewerei
    nthemiddl
    eofsomething.
    ”

    Iwi
    nkatAmar
    a,sheshi
    esawayf
    rom mewhi
    l
    e,t
    ryi
    ngt
    osupr
    essasmi
    l
    e.

    Rav
    en:
    “Pl
    ease,
    stop.I
    ’
    m st
    il
    li
    nther
    oom andI
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Hemakesaf
    ace.

    Amar
    a:“
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    ofi
    ndChi
    oma.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanksal
    otRav
    en.Whyar
    eyoui
    nmyhouse,
    agai
    n?”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Rav
    en:
    “Itwasni
    cemeet
    ingy
    ouAmar
    a.”

    Amar
    a:“
    Likewi
    se.
    ”

    Sher
    espondsasshebeamsatmer
    eti
    cent
    ly.Iwat
    chherwal
    kupt
    hest
    air
    sti
    l
    lshe’
    soutofsi
    ght
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Ti
    eherar
    oundy
    ourwai
    st,
    whydon’
    tyou?
    ”

    Hemocksme.

    Me:
    “Pi
    ssof
    f.
    ”

    Hesneer
    sandf
    oll
    owsmet
    othepat
    io.

    Me:
    “Wher
    eisy
    ourf
    ather
    ?”

    Ii
    nqui
    reasIposi
    ti
    onmy
    sel
    fonachai
    r.

    Raven:“He’
    snotbackyet.Gr
    andmaissi
    ck,Randal
    l,she’
    sbeensickforawhi
    lenow.The
    doctor
    shadgivenhersixmonthst
    oli
    ve,she’
    ssti
    ll
    hol di
    ngon.Shesaysshewil
    lnotj
    oinher
    husbandunti
    lsheseesyou.”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    t.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Why
    ?”

    Hef
    rowns.

    Me:“Raven,
    thatmanwi
    l
    ldoany
    thi
    ngf
    ormet
    ogobackt
    oGhana.Heck,
    he’
    l
    lev
    enf
    akehi
    sown
    deat
    h.”

    Rav
    en:
    “But
    ,it
    ’st
    rueRandy
    .”

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?Wher
    eisshe?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “She’
    satsomehospi
    tal
    inAccr
    a.”

    Me:
    “Hav
    eyoubeent
    her
    etoseeher
    ?”
    Rav
    en:
    “Notr
    eal
    l
    y,f
    athersai
    dsomet
    hingaboutherbei
    ngunderquar
    ant
    ine.
    ”

    Hi
    sfacehol
    dsdeepexpr
    essi
    onsofconf
    usi
    on.

    Me:
    “Ir
    estmycase.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Whywoul
    dhel
    i
    eabouthi
    smot
    herl
    i
    ket
    his?
    ”

    Me:“Becauseheisasicknar
    cissi
    st,
    whotakespr
    idei
    ndominat
    ingov
    erpeopl
    e.I
    ’
    m sor
    ryRav
    but
    ,yourfatheri
    smessedup.Tellhi
    mtostayawayfr
    om meandheshoul
    dstayi
    nGhana.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Whatabouty
    ourcal
    l
    ing?
    ”

    Me:“Whatcal
    l
    ing?Funnyhownanasai
    dAmaraismychosenonebut
    ,yourf
    atherkeeps
    pushi
    nghisbr
    idedownmyt hr
    oat
    .Iam t
    ir
    edRav
    en,Idon’
    twantt
    ofi
    ghthim.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead,
    hedi
    sagr
    eeswi
    thme.I
    fitwer
    ehi
    minmyshoes,
    hewoul
    dadher
    ethatol
    d
    man’
    scommands.

    Raven:“It
    hinkyouandfatherneedt
    ocometoaconclusi
    on,
    Idon’
    twanthi
    mtobedisappoi
    nted
    Randy.Everyt
    hinghe’
    severdoneisforhi
    ski
    ds,
    thel
    eastwecandoisbeopenmi
    ndedabout
    thi
    s.”

    Hi
    sst
    atementhasmesni
    gger
    ingi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.

    Me:
    “Ify
    ou’
    regoi
    ngt
    otel
    lmet
    hatshi
    t,t
    henst
    ayawayf
    rom me.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Uze.
    ”

    Hegasps.

    Me:
    “Youar
    eyourf
    ather
    ’sson,
    Iseehehast
    aughty
    ouwel
    l
    .”

    Rav
    en:
    “Wi
    l
    lyour
    eal
    l
    ysi
    tther
    eandi
    nsul
    tme?Iam y
    ourel
    derbr
    other
    .”

    Me:“I
    ’m noti
    nsul
    ti
    ngyouUzoma,Iam j
    uststati
    ngthetr
    uth.Doy
    ouknow,
    yousoundl
    i
    kehi
    m
    r
    ightnow?Iwouldthi
    nkhecl
    onedhimselfbefor
    eleavi
    ng.
    ”

    Het
    it
    ter
    s.

    Rav
    en:
    “Youar
    est
    ubbor
    nasshi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Il
    ear
    ntf
    rom t
    hebesthence,
    fat
    herandIcannev
    ergetal
    ong.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghsdeepl
    yashesi
    tsbackont
    hechai
    r.

    Rav
    en:
    “Igi
    veup.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    NTOMBI
    *
    Mybr
    other
    sthoughtt
    heyhadt
    heupperhand,
    Iwi
    l
    lshowt
    hem t
    hatIcandoj
    ustasmuch.

    Ical
    ledMoses’sunclesov er,
    Itoldt
    hem everyt
    hingthatJonasandMhambi havedonet othei
    r
    son.Jonas’f
    aceispricelessri
    ghtnow,hewasshockedwhenZakhel e,Moses’br
    otherand
    Ndumisohisunclewal kedthroughthedoorearl
    ythismorning.Theyhavebeengoingbackand
    for
    thaboutthi
    sissue,Idon’tcarehowt heycomet oaconclusi
    on.Iwantmyhusbandf oundand
    homesaf e.

    Thi
    sli
    vi
    ngroom,suddenl
    yseemssmall
    erwithev
    eryoneinit
    .Pet
    uni
    a,li
    kethegoodwif
    esheis,
    i
    sinmykit
    chenworkinghar
    dtoi
    mpressthesepeople.WhenMosesisfoundIwantt
    hem outof
    myhouse.

    Zakhel
    e:“
    Thi
    sisat
    oughi
    ssue.Howar
    ewegoi
    ngt
    osol
    vei
    t?”

    Thi
    soneli
    kesspeaki
    ngEngl
    ish,
    he’sthemiddl
    echil
    d.Mosesisthefir
    stbornandtheyhavea
    si
    ster
    ,whol
    ivessomewher
    einthiscount
    ry.Wearenotbestoff
    riendsso,Idon’
    tbotherabout
    her
    .

    Jonas:“Theonl
    ywaytosol
    vethi
    s,i
    sforMosestocomeandat
    onef
    orhi
    ssi
    ns.Yourbr
    other
    hassinnedagai
    nstmyfami
    ly,
    hesoldourchi
    l
    d.”

    Jonashasasmar
    tmout
    h.

    Zakhel
    e:“
    I’
    m sur
    ether
    eisanexpl
    anat
    ionforthi
    s,yousayt
    hatourbri
    deistheonewhotol
    dyou
    thi
    s?Moseswasnotaroundt
    ospeakforhimsel
    f,Ntombimusthaveexagger
    atedt
    hingsabi
    t.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Awukahl
    ewena.Abi
    t?Yourbr
    othert
    raf
    fi
    ckedourchi
    l
    d,f
    ini
    shandkl
    aar
    .”(
    Hol
    don.
    )

    Idon’
    tknowwhyuncleNdumisoi
    squiet
    ,he’
    sbeendri
    nkingthatbeersi
    ncetheysatdown.
    Jonasoff
    eredt
    hem al
    cohol
    ,heknowsoncetheyar
    edrunk,i
    twillbeeasyt
    ogetthroughtot
    hem.

    Me:
    “Tr
    aff
    ickedbhut
    i?Hai
    bo,
    ihaba?
    ”(You’
    reexagger
    ati
    ngi
    t.
    )

    Hegi
    vesmeacol
    dlook.

    Mhambi
    :“Ufunanil
    aNtombi?You’
    resupposedt
    obei
    ntheki
    tchen,
    hel
    pingPet
    uni
    acook.
    ”(What
    ar
    eyoudoinghereNtombi
    ?)

    Me:“I’
    m standi
    ngi
    nformyhusband, Iknowbadt
    hingswi
    l
    lbesai
    dabouthi
    minhi
    sabsence.I
    am heretomakesurethatdoesn’
    thappen.
    ”

    Ir
    espondwhi
    l
    egl
    ari
    ngatJonas,
    heshakeshi
    sheadi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.

    Jonas:“Uyabonal
    e,y
    inki
    ngay
    akhoNt
    ombi
    .Yout
    hinky
    oucanst
    andupagai
    nstmewena?
    ”(You
    see,t
    hisisyourpr
    obl
    em.)

    Me:
    “Bhut
    i,y
    ouputacur
    seonmyhusband.Doy
    ouexpectmet
    olaughaboutt
    hat
    ?”

    Zakhel
    e:“Idon’
    tbl
    ameNt
    ombi
    forst
    andi
    ngupf
    orherhusband,
    iti
    sherdut
    yashi
    swi
    fet
    ofi
    ght
    hi
    sbattl
    es.”

    Mhambi
    “Hey
    i,amasi
    mbal
    awo.Ut
    hiudadewet
    huasekel
    eudot
    i?”(
    That
    ’sbul
    l
    shi
    t.You’
    resay
    ing
    mysi
    stershoul
    dsuppor
    tshi
    t?)

    Nj
    abul
    o:“
    Baba,
    asi
    l
    wi.Yehl
    i
    saumoy
    a.”(
    Cal
    m down,
    wear
    enotf
    ight
    ing.
    )

    Now,
    hedeci
    dest
    ospeak.

    Jonas:“Lal
    elani
    la,
    theonl
    yreasonyoupeoplearest
    il
    lcal
    m aboutt
    his,
    isbecausewe
    thr
    eatenedtogetMosesarrest
    ed.
    ”(Li
    stenhere.
    )

    He’
    sright
    ,theywerel i
    vi
    dwhentheygother
    e.Ti
    l
    lJonastol
    dthem hewil
    lopenacaseagai
    nst
    Moses,onl
    yt hen,
    didtheywanttospeaki
    naciv
    il
    izedmanner
    .Iti
    ssafetosayt
    hatmybrother
    s
    hav
    ebecomemybi ggestenemi
    es.

    UncleNjabul
    oandZakhel
    ehavedr
    oppedt
    hei
    rheadsi
    nshame.Thei
    rvi
    siti
    ssupposedt
    obe
    workinginmyfav
    our,
    I’
    m star
    ti
    ngt
    othi
    nkImadeamistake.

    Nj
    abul
    o:“
    Kukhonai
    ndl
    elaesi
    ngal
    ungi
    sisangay
    olendaba.
    ”(Ther
    eisawaywecanf
    ixt
    his.
    )

    Mhambi
    :“Qhubeka.
    ”(Cont
    inue.
    )

    Nj
    abul
    o:“
    Wecanaskt
    heancest
    orst
    ofi
    ndherf
    orus.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Who’
    sancest
    ors?
    ”

    Hegr
    imacesatt
    hem.

    Zakhel
    e:“
    Yourancest
    orsbecauseshei
    sofy
    ourbl
    ood.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Shame,
    myancest
    orsar
    ebusy
    .Iam notgoi
    ngt
    odi
    stur
    bthem ov
    ernonsense.
    ”

    Zakhel
    e:“
    Pleasebafo,
    let
    ’stal
    kli
    kemen.Sur
    elyy
    oucannotletmybrot
    hersuf
    ferl
    i
    ket
    his.My
    fat
    hermustbeturni
    nginhisgrav
    e,Moseswashisf
    avour
    it
    echild.
    ”

    Jonas: “Lethimturn,hemustt urni


    nhisgraze.Hissonhasbecomeadisgrace.Imar
    ri
    edmy
    sistertoy ourf
    amily,
    thinkingyouwil
    lprot
    ecther.Lookwhatyouhav
    eturnedherint
    o,a‘y
    es
    woman’ .Sheagreeswi t
    hev er
    ythi
    ngMosesdoes, shethi
    nksthewor
    ldofthatman.Howdoy ou
    thinkthatmakesusf eel?
    ”

    Hei
    ssodr
    amat
    ic.

    Me:
    “Bhut
    ipl
    ease,
    don’
    tspeakaboutmeasi
    fIam noti
    nther
    oom.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Ntombi,
    ngicel
    asi
    ngaxabani
    tu.Iknowy ouwantusoutofy
    ourhouseandwewi
    l
    lgo
    onceourchi
    ldhascomehome.”(Let
    ’snotargueplease.
    )

    Zakhele:
    “Bafo,
    onbehalfofmybrot
    her
    ,wewouldli
    ket
    oapologi
    sef
    orwhathashappenedt
    o
    yourfamil
    y.Iam aski
    ngthatwewor
    ktoget
    heri
    nthi
    s,l
    et’
    shel
    peachot
    her.
    ”

    Mhambi
    :“Ai
    Jonas,
    labant
    uangat
    hiabasi
    zwa.
    ”(Thesepeopl
    ear
    enotl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ous.
    )

    Wear
    edi
    stur
    bedbyal
    oudknockatt
    hedoor
    .Thi
    shousei
    sal
    way
    sbusy
    .

    Igetupt
    oopen.
    Me:
    “Tebogo?Uf
    unani
    ?”(
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    She’
    swheez
    ing.

    Tebogo:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,hur
    ry.Mosesi
    sout
    sidehe’
    stal
    ki
    ngt
    ohi
    msel
    fandchasi
    ngpeopl
    e.”

    STYLES*

    Iregr
    etgoingbackhome,Khet
    hubeganbar
    kingatme,themomentIst
    eppedi
    ntot
    hehouse.I
    foundhersit
    ti
    ngonthecouchli
    keshewaswaiti
    ngforsomet
    hing.

    We’
    vebeenati
    tsi
    nceandIhav
    emadeadeci
    sion,
    thi
    sisnott
    hel
    i
    feIwant
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’sov
    er,
    Iwanty
    ououtoft
    hehousebymor
    ning.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Oh,
    yesy
    ouar
    e.”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Thi
    sol
    dtr
    ick.

    Me:
    “Goahead,
    thewor
    ldwoul
    dbeamuchbet
    terpl
    ace.
    ”

    Herj
    awdr
    ops.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    youdon’
    tmeant
    hat
    .”

    I
    fonl
    ysheknew.

    Me:
    “Imeanev
    erywor
    d,y
    ou’
    reabusi
    veKhet
    huandi
    t’
    ssi
    ckeni
    ng.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    rySt
    yles,
    lookI
    ’
    llchange.I
    ’
    llbebet
    terf
    ory
    ou,
    forus.
    ”

    Shepl
    acesherhandsonmychest
    ,Ipusht
    hem of
    f.

    Me:
    “Ther
    eisnousany
    mor
    eKhet
    hu,
    it’
    stool
    atet
    ofi
    xany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Don’
    tyoul
    ovemeany
    mor
    e?”

    She’
    scr
    ying,
    hert
    ear
    sdon’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    omeany
    mor
    e.Shecancr
    ymear
    iverandIwi
    l
    lnotbe
    thr
    own.

    Me:“
    No,
    Idon’
    t.Yout
    ooky
    ourl
    oveback,
    li
    ter
    all
    yri
    ppedi
    toutofmyhear
    t.Al
    lthatIhav
    efory
    ou
    nowi
    spi
    ty.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesy
    oucan’
    tdot
    hist
    ome.
    ”

    Shescr
    eamswi
    tht
    ear
    sst
    reaki
    ngdownherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Wat
    chme.
    ”
    Shegr
    absacushi
    onandt
    hrowsi
    tatme,
    Icat
    chi
    tandt
    ossi
    tbackont
    hecouch.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lDaddyev
    ery
    thi
    ngIknowabouty
    ouandRandal
    l
    ,IswearSt
    yles.Don’
    tdar
    eme.
    ”

    Me: “IdareyouKhet hu,goahead.Itwi l


    lbelikesingi
    nghim al
    ull
    aby ,
    Dladl
    awon’tbeabletodo
    anything.YouthinkI’m ascient
    istforshow?Nobaby ,Ihavet
    hewor ldi
    nthepal
    m ofmyhand.I
    havet ol
    eratedyourbullshitl
    ongenough.If eltsorr
    yforyouKhethubecauseofwhatyou’vebeen
    thr
    ough.And, y
    ouusedt hattodestroyme.LookatmeKhet hukuthul
    a.Youki
    ll
    edme, Ican’twalk
    i
    npubl icwithoutfeeli
    nglikepeoplearejudgingmeandcanseemyshameandmydownf all.I
    can’
    twal kwi t
    hmyheadhel dhi
    ghbecauseofy ou.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    ather
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    rySt
    yles,
    please.Youcan’
    tleav
    eme,
    I’
    ll
    diewi
    thouty
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’snotmypr
    obl
    em any
    mor
    e.”

    Shegr
    absherhai
    randscr
    eams.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    youcan’
    tdot
    hist
    ome.
    ”

    Watchingherpaceupanddownt heli
    vingroom li
    keacr azyperson,
    prov
    estomet hatshe
    needshelp.Shefur
    iousl
    ymarchestothekitchen,t
    hisdoesn’tl
    ookgood.Ist
    aggerback,asshe
    runsbackwithabreadknif
    einherhand,shet ar
    getsme.Igrabherhandandpulli
    tawayf rom
    her.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ihat
    eyou.
    ”

    Shey
    ell
    s,I
    ’
    m usedt
    ohear
    ingt
    hesewor
    ds.

    Me:“
    I’
    m goi
    ngout
    ,don’
    twai
    tup.I
    ’
    m notcomi
    nghomet
    oni
    ghtandIwanty
    ououtofmyhouse
    bymorni
    ng.
    ”

    Iannouncef
    ir
    mly
    ,andt
    oddl
    etot
    hedoor
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesdon’
    tleav
    emepl
    ease,
    don’
    tleav
    eme.
    ”

    Shescream cri
    es,asshedropstoherknees,theol
    dSt
    yleswouldt
    urnandembraceheri
    nhis
    arms.But,sheki
    ll
    edhim.Ishutthedoorbehindmeanddasht omycar
    ,Icanhearhercr
    ies
    fr
    om here.Iwil
    lhavetocal
    lDladl
    a,comfort
    ingheri
    shi
    sj obnow.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Ever
    yoner anoutofthehousetoseewhatTebogowast al
    kingabout ,wefindMosesont he
    st
    reetschasingpeople.He’
    sscreamingatthem,try
    ingtohighfivethem andlaughi
    ngatt hem.I
    al
    mostcan’ trecogni
    zehim,he’
    sdirt
    y,unshavenandhe’sl
    ostal otofweight.Myhear tbr
    eaks
    i
    ntoat housandpieces,Igl
    anceatJonasandMhambi whohav eslygrinsontheirf
    aces.Petuni
    a
    i
    salsoher e,she’
    sogli
    ngatMosesi nwonder,herhandspastedonherhi psandherj awdropped.
    Nj
    abul
    oandZakhel
    elookdef
    eat
    ed,
    IguessIcal
    l
    edt
    hem l
    ate.Myhusbandhasl
    osthi
    smi
    nd.

    Me:
    “OhMosesNkosi
    yami
    .”(
    MyGod.
    )

    Iexcl
    aimi
    ntear
    s.

    Moses:
    “Isol
    dher
    ,Isol
    dAmar
    a.”

    Hekeepsgr
    abbi
    ngpeopl
    e’
    shandswhi
    l
    econf
    essi
    nghi
    sini
    qui
    ti
    es.Somescr
    eam,
    whi
    l
    eot
    her
    s
    pushhi
    m.

    Me: “
    Jonasi
    sthiswhatyouwanted?Youwant edtoembarr
    assmeli
    kethi
    s?Now, I
    ’
    m goi
    ngto
    bealaughi
    ngstocki
    nthiswholeneighbour
    hood.Myenemiesar
    erej
    oici
    ng,t
    heyhavewai
    tedf
    or
    thi
    sdayandmydearbr ot
    herhasmadei tpossi
    blefort
    hem.”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m,hef
    rownsatmel
    i
    keI
    ’
    m cr
    azy
    .

    Jonas:
    “Thi
    sisnot
    hingNt
    ombi
    ,buka.
    ”(Wat
    ch.
    )

    Hehasnocareatal
    l,Ist
    andont hest
    reetshel
    plesswhil
    emyhusbandisbei
    nglaughedat
    .I
    spotMart
    haacr
    ossthestreet
    ,she’sl
    aughingdeli
    ght
    ful
    l
    y.Ihav
    enocluewhatIhavedoneto
    thatwoman,
    herhat
    redformeseemst orundeep.

    Moses:
    “Isol
    dAmar
    a,ngi
    m’t
    hengi
    sil
    e.”(
    Isol
    dher
    .)

    Hel
    aughsoutl
    oudasi
    fhe’
    sbei
    ngt
    ickl
    ed.

    Moses:
    “Isol
    dAmar
    a.”

    Het
    urnsi
    tint
    oasongashebr
    eaksi
    ntoadance.Thi
    sisembar
    rassi
    ng.

    Imarchtohi
    m andgr
    abhishand,hef
    rownsatme,
    conf
    usi
    onbui
    l
    dinguponhi
    sface.Ther
    e’sa
    ter
    ri
    blef
    oulsmell
    comingf
    rom hi
    m.

    Whathappenedt
    oyouMoses?

    Me:
    “Moses,
    asambe.
    ”(Let
    ’sgo.
    )

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ?”

    Hesay
    ssof
    tl
    y,l
    eer
    ingatmel
    i
    kehe’
    srecal
    l
    ingsomet
    hing.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,Isol
    dAmar
    aformoney
    .We’
    rer
    ichNt
    ombi
    ,don’
    ttel
    lany
    oneokay
    .”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sandpr
    esseshi
    sfor
    efi
    ngeronhi
    sli
    ps.

    Moses:
    “Sshhh.
    ”

    Hedoest
    hedanceagai
    nandst
    ops,
    peopl
    ear
    elaughi
    ngandt
    aki
    ngv
    ideos.

    Mosesbursti
    ntoanot
    herepi
    sodeofcrazyl
    aught
    er,i
    tdimini
    shesi
    naflash.Het
    ransf
    ixeshi
    s
    gazenextt
    ome, f
    orawhil
    ethere,
    itseemsli
    kehe’
    sseeingsomeone.I
    t’sj
    ustme,nooneis
    brav
    eenoughtocomeclosetohim.Notevenhi
    sbrotheranduncl
    e.

    Moses:
    “Zul
    u,ul
    a?”(
    Zul
    uyou’
    reher
    e?)
    It
    urnt
    omysi
    de,
    ther
    e’snooneher
    e.

    Moses:
    “Zul
    ungi
    yi
    thengi
    sil
    eindodakazi
    yakho.
    ”(Zul
    u,Isol
    dyourdaught
    er.
    )

    Hecont
    inueswi
    thhi
    sdance,
    aft
    erex
    pressi
    ngl
    oudl
    y.

    Iam f
    ini
    shed.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    69*

    STYLES*

    Ifi
    ndmy sel
    fparkedoutsi
    deSet
    hu’sbui
    ldi
    ng,t
    hisi
    swhereIwasl
    ed.Idon’
    tknowwhetherby
    angerormyhear t
    .Atthi
    smomentitappearst
    hat,
    onl
    ythiswomancangiv
    emet hepeaceI
    need.Ihavebeenhereonce,
    todropheroff
    .

    Itaket
    heel
    evat
    ortothesecondf
    loor
    ,af
    ewmor
    est
    epsbr
    ingmei
    nfr
    ontofherdoor
    .Fl
    at
    number23,
    IhopeIgotitr
    ight
    .

    Iknockt
    wice,
    ther
    eisnoanswer
    .May
    bet
    hiswasabadi
    dea,
    Icannotber
    unni
    ngt
    oanot
    her
    womanforcomfort
    .

    Myf
    eetl
    eadmedownt
    hepassage,
    asIsaunt
    erbackt
    otheel
    evat
    or,
    Ihav
    etogetoutofher
    e.

    “
    Mr.St
    yles.
    ”

    HersweetvoicenumbsmybodyandIcannotwalkfurt
    herso,It
    urn.Shesmil
    esatmeandthis
    i
    swhenithitsme.Thatpeaceful
    lookonherf
    aceiswhatIcameher efor
    .It
    readbackt
    oher,
    she’
    sholdi
    ngt hebur
    glardoor
    ,whil
    est
    andi
    nginthedoorway.Hereyesdropwhenmygaze
    ref
    usestol
    eav eherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Hi
    .”

    Isof
    tl
    ygr
    eet
    ,sher
    aisesherey
    esandt
    her
    e,i
    sthatsmi
    l
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “Hi
    .
    ”

    We’
    rest
    andi
    ngher
    ewi
    thnowor
    dssai
    d,onl
    ygl
    anci
    ngateachot
    her
    .She’
    sthef
    ir
    stt
    ogi
    vei
    n.

    Set
    hu:
    “Woul
    dyoul
    i
    ket
    ocomei
    n.”

    Inod,
    respondi
    ngt
    oherquest
    ion.

    Shest
    epsasidetoletmei nbut,
    Igestur
    ethatshegoesi
    nfi
    rst.It
    readaf
    terherandshet
    urnst
    o
    cl
    osethedoorbeforeleadi
    ngmet otheli
    vi
    ngroom.Thecor
    ridori
    ssmall
    ,itonl
    ytakesaf
    ew
    st
    epstogettotheli
    vingarea.

    Set
    hu:
    “CanIgety
    ouany
    thi
    ngt
    odr
    ink?
    ”

    Ishakemyhead,
    negat
    ivel
    y.

    Set
    hu:
    “Okay
    ,youcanhav
    easi
    t.
    ”

    Shepoi
    ntst
    oat woseat
    err
    edcouch,ther
    e’sasmal
    ltabl
    eint
    hemi
    ddl
    eoft
    her
    oom andaone
    seat
    erbl
    uecouch.I
    t’
    sacol
    our
    fulspace.

    Me:
    “We’
    rey
    oubusy
    ?IhopeIdi
    dn’
    tint
    err
    uptany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    IaskandsaywhenIseeamov
    iet
    hathasbeenpaused.

    Set
    hu:“
    Iwasbor
    edso,
    Iwast
    ryi
    ngt
    opusht
    ime.Idon’
    treal
    l
    yhav
    emuchf
    ri
    ends,
    thi
    siswhatI
    doinmyspar
    eti
    me.
    ”

    Inod,
    asIt
    akeasi
    t.Sheset
    tl
    esatt
    hef
    arendcor
    neroft
    hecouch.

    Me:
    “Whatmov
    iei
    sit
    ?”

    Hersmi
    l
    efi
    l
    lsherf
    ace.

    Set
    hu:“50fir
    stdates,
    it’
    sachi
    ckfl
    ick.I
    ’
    m ahugef
    an,
    Iact
    ual
    l
    ybi
    ngeonchi
    ckf
    li
    cks.Theyar
    e
    ver
    ytherapeut
    ic,
    youshouldtr
    yit
    .”

    Thi
    siswhatIl
    i
    ke,
    hert
    alkat
    ivenessandhowshei
    ssounawar
    eofi
    t.

    Me: “
    Wat chpeoplef
    alli
    nandoutoflovewhil
    eplayi
    nghardtogetwit
    heachot
    her
    ,notmyidea
    oftherapy.Thest
    oryli
    neisalwayspr
    edict
    able,
    youcantel
    lfr
    om themomentt
    heysayhi
    toeach
    otherthattheset
    wowi l
    lei
    therenduptoget
    herornot.
    ”

    Shel
    aughsandt
    hatj
    ustt
    ickl
    esmyhear
    t,t
    heheav
    inessIf
    eltwhenIdr
    oveher
    eisper
    ishi
    ng.

    Set
    hu:
    “Okay
    ,nowy
    ou’
    respoi
    l
    ingi
    tforme.
    ”

    Me:“It
    ’struet
    hough.Letmeguess, 50fir
    stdat
    es,t
    hegirl
    hasashor
    t-t
    erm memoryl
    oss.She
    can’
    trememberany t
    hingthathappenedthedaybefor
    e,soever
    ymorningt
    heguyhastowoo
    heragain.Hewinsherattheendandt heysai
    lawayonaboatandli
    vehappil
    yev
    eraft
    er.
    ”

    Shefall
    sbackonthecouchlaughi
    ng,
    Icanonl
    ysi
    ther
    eandwat
    chwi
    thasmi
    l
    eonmyf
    ace.Can
    anyt
    hingeverbesopeacef
    ul?

    Set
    hu:
    “Youhav
    ewat
    chedi
    tri
    ght
    ?”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twat
    chTV,
    I’
    drat
    herr
    eadabookori
    nventsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    esgent
    ly,
    wehav
    ethatqui
    etmomentt
    hatal
    way
    sseemst
    osneakuponus.

    Set
    hu:
    “So,
    whatbr
    ingsy
    ouher
    e?I
    t’
    snotev
    erydayIam gr
    acedwi
    thy
    ourpr
    esence”

    Me:
    “Ial
    sodon’
    tknow,
    Iwasdr
    ivi
    ngandf
    oundmy
    sel
    fher
    e.”

    Themomentagai
    n,shecl
    ear
    shert
    hroatasshel
    ooksawayf
    rom me.

    Set
    hu:
    “Okay
    ,si
    ncey
    ou’
    renotf
    ondofwat
    chi
    ngTV.Howaboutsomemusi
    c?”

    Me:“
    No,don’
    tst
    opt
    hemov
    ieonmyaccount
    .May
    bei
    t’
    sti
    meIbecomehumananddowhat
    humansdo.
    ”

    Thel
    aughembr
    acesheragai
    n,shef
    indsmest
    ari
    ngandst
    ops.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoual
    way
    sthi
    shappy
    ?”

    Shesmi
    l
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “li
    fei
    shar
    denough,
    wecan’
    tbegr
    umpyal
    lthet
    ime.
    ”
    Me:“Wel
    l,y
    ourpresencei
    sheal
    i
    ng.Yougi
    vemesomuchpeaceSet
    hu,
    itcoul
    dbebecause
    you’
    reanurse.
    ”

    It
    hrowt
    hati
    n,t
    ori
    dtheawkwar
    dness.

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Me:
    “You’
    resoador
    abl
    ewheny
    oul
    augh,
    you’
    real
    i
    keaki
    tt
    en.Myl
    i
    ttl
    eki
    tt
    en.
    ”

    Shedr
    opsherey
    esandt
    hatnai
    lbi
    ti
    nghabi
    tvi
    sit
    sheragai
    n,ashercheeksf
    lush.

    Ishi
    ftcl
    osert
    oherandr
    emov
    ethehandf
    rom hermout
    h,sher
    api
    dlyl
    ooksupatme.

    Me:
    “It
    houghtt
    hatpi
    nkyf
    ingerhasl
    osti
    tst
    ast
    e.”

    Iut
    ter
    ,st
    il
    lhol
    dingherhandi
    nmi
    ne,
    shesmi
    l
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “For
    ceofhabi
    t.
    ”

    Shedecl
    ares.

    Me:
    “Doy
    oudot
    hatwi
    thev
    ery
    one,
    ori
    sitj
    ustme?
    ”

    I’
    m notget
    tingananswer,Itakeherchinandbr i
    ngherfaceup.Herbrowney
    esshylyl
    eeratme.
    Ibri
    ngmyf acecl
    oset ohers,shecloseshereyesandherlipsf
    orm anO,i
    nvi
    ti
    ngmet okissher
    .
    Ismirkatt
    hisdelect
    ablegesture,
    Itaketi
    met ostudyherfaceasshehashereyescl
    osed.

    Thisi
    swhatIwant
    ,thisi
    swhatIwoul
    dwanttocomehomet oever
    yni
    ght.Sheeventual
    lyopens
    hereyest
    ofi
    ndmest ari
    ng,
    theshy
    nesst
    easesheragai
    n.Shedr
    opsherheadblushi
    ngly
    , Ibr
    ing
    i
    tupyetagai
    n.

    Me:“
    Set
    hu,
    I’
    m ast
    raightf
    orwar
    dperson.Iwanttoki
    ssyousobadri
    ghtnowbut
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    o
    t
    akeadv
    ant
    ageofyou.YouknowthatIwasseeingsomeoner
    ight
    ?”

    Shenods,
    seemi
    ngl
    ylooki
    ngsad.

    Me:“Iwasi
    natoxi
    crel
    ati
    onshi
    p,Icoul
    dn’
    tleav
    ebecauseIhadbeenwit
    hherf
    oralongti
    me.I
    t
    houghtIowedi
    ttoher
    ,tofi
    ghtforusbut
    ,Iwasonl
    yfooli
    ngmyself
    .Remembert
    hatdaywe
    met?
    ”

    Shel
    ooksupatmeandnods.

    Set
    hu:
    “Thedayy
    oupl
    ayedJamesBond?
    ”

    Shel
    aughs,
    hav
    ingmesni
    ggeri
    nret
    urn.

    Me:“Somet hi
    ngaboutyoucapturedme, Idi
    dn’tknowi
    tthenbut,asIgott oknowy ou,i
    tstart
    ed
    r
    eveali
    ngitself
    .Iwouldl
    ookforyouinev ery
    thi
    ngandeveryone,Iwouldheary oursweetlaughter
    i
    npubliconlytoturnandbedisappoi
    nted.Thisismesayingthat,
    y ouarethatmissi
    ngpiecein
    myli
    feSethu, t
    here’
    sthi
    svoi
    di nmethatonl yyoucanf
    il
    l.Iknowt hisbecauseIfeelcomplete
    whenI’
    m wi thyou.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    osay
    .”
    Me:
    “Sayy
    ouwi
    l
    lbemi
    ne,
    Iwanty
    out
    obemyki
    tt
    en.Wi
    l
    lyoubemyki
    tt
    enSet
    hu?
    ”

    Tearsdropfrom herey
    es,shebrushest
    hem awayandsni
    ff
    s.I
    ’mlooki
    ngather
    ,wai
    ti
    ngforan
    answer.Idon’tknowwhatIwil
    ldoifshedeni
    esme,aft
    erpour
    ingmyhear
    toutli
    ket
    his.

    Set
    hu:
    “Thelastrelat
    ionshipIwasi
    n,Iwashur
    treal
    bad.Ipr
    omi
    sedmy
    sel
    fthatIwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    eta
    manhurtmelikethatagain.”

    Icanseet
    hepai
    nshehol
    dsi
    nherey
    es,
    shemusthav
    ebeenr
    eal
    l
    yhur
    tbyt
    hisper
    son.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dhedot
    oyou?
    ”

    Herf
    acet
    akesasof
    tfr
    own.

    Set
    hu:“If
    oundhi
    mi nbedwi
    thLebo,i
    nthi
    sver
    yhouse.Theywerehavi
    ngsexonmybed, he
    wasn’
    tevensor
    ry.Hesai
    dIl
    ackedsomethi
    ngthatLebohad,
    Iwasn’
    topenminded,
    Iguess.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wai
    t!Lebo,
    yournur
    sef
    ri
    end?
    ”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “Yout
    woar
    est
    il
    lfr
    iends?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m puzzl
    edbyt
    hisf
    act
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “She’
    sact
    ual
    l
    ymycousi
    n,Ican’
    treal
    l
    ydi
    sownf
    ami
    l
    y,canI
    ?”

    Onwhi
    chpl
    anetdoest
    hisgi
    rll
    i
    ve?

    Me:“
    Toxi
    cistoxi
    cSethu,f
    amil
    yornot.Doy
    our
    eal
    i
    zet
    haty
    ou’
    rei
    nthecompanyofasnakeand
    i
    twon’
    tbelongti
    l
    litbi
    tesyouagai
    n?”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    Sethu:
    “Mymom sai
    dIshouldforgi
    veher,shei
    shersi
    ster
    ’schi
    l
    d.Shesai
    dmi st
    akeshappen
    andthaty
    oucannevert
    urnagainstyourbl
    ood,
    youneverknowwhatli
    femightbr
    ingyou
    tomorr
    ow.”

    Theonemi
    stakepar
    ent
    smake.

    Me: “That’
    sbullshit,
    nooffencetoyourmom.Sethu,par
    entsar enotalwaysri
    ght.Wi sdom isnot
    one’sage, j
    ustbecausesomeonei solder,
    itdoesnotmeant hattheyknowbetter.Childrenhave
    foundt hemselvesindiresit
    uati
    onsbecauseofthedeci
    sionsmadebyt hei
    rparents,thinki
    ng
    theyknowbet ter.IfIwereyou,Iwoul
    ddoawaywi thLebo.I’
    m notsayinghateher,justdistance
    yourselffr
    om her .
    ”

    Shemul
    l
    suponmywor
    dsasshebi
    tesherl
    owerl
    i
    p,I
    ’
    mtempt
    edt
    otast
    ethem.

    Set
    hu:
    “Iwi
    l
    lthi
    nkabouti
    t,shei
    snotabadper
    sont
    hough.
    ”

    Me:
    “Howdoy
    oudot
    hat
    ?Howdoy
    ouseegoodi
    nev
    ery
    one?
    ”

    Sheshr
    ugs.
    Me:
    “You’
    reagoodwomanSet
    hu,
    ify
    oul
    etmei
    n.Ipr
    omi
    set
    hatIwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofy
    ourhear
    t.
    ”

    Sethu:
    “You’
    reawonder
    fulmanStyl
    es,
    youhav
    eaki
    ndhear
    tbut
    ,It
    hinky
    ouneedt
    oheal
    bef
    ore
    youjumpint
    oanot
    herrel
    ati
    onshi
    p.”

    Thatst
    ings…

    Me:
    “Heal
    ?”

    Sethu:“
    Yes,youneedt
    ogetoverherf
    ir
    st.I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    obear
    ebound.Icanbeaf
    ri
    end
    though,I
    ’
    llbeher
    ewhenev
    eryouneedme. ”

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    ltaket
    hat
    ,fornow.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Me:
    “Youwon’
    tgi
    veuponmer
    ight
    ?”

    IknowIhav
    eal
    ongwayt
    ogo.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    vegoty
    ou.
    ”

    Il
    i
    ket
    hesoundoft
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “Int
    hatcase,
    playal
    lthechi
    ckf
    li
    ckmov
    iesy
    ougot
    .They
    ’ret
    her
    apeut
    ic,
    right
    ?”

    Shel
    aughsandnods.

    NOMBULELO*

    I
    t’
    smylunchbr eak,
    I’
    m standi
    nginthecor
    ri
    dorswi
    thmycol
    l
    eagueBr
    endaandwe’
    reaboutt
    o
    gooutf
    orlunch.She’shasn’
    tcl
    ockedoutyet
    .

    Me:
    “Tenmi
    nut
    eshaspassedal
    ready
    ,hur
    ry,
    I’
    m hungr
    y.”

    She’
    ssi
    gni
    ngsomepaper
    sthatwer
    emeantt
    obesubmi
    tt
    edbef
    orel
    unch.

    Br
    enda:
    “Rel
    axsana,
    thewayy
    ou’
    regoi
    ngon,
    onewoul
    dthi
    nkt
    haty
    ou’
    repr
    egnant
    .”

    Iam pr
    egnant
    …Idon’
    ttel
    lhert
    hat
    ,though.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,I’
    m hungr
    yBr
    enda,
    hau.
    ”

    Namhl
    a:“
    Aski
    essi
    si.
    ”(Excuseme.
    )

    Br
    endaandIt
    urnt
    olookather
    ,she’
    speeki
    ngt
    hroughherof
    fi
    cedoor
    .

    Namhl
    a:“
    Comet
    omyof
    fi
    ce.
    ”

    Shedemands,
    shest
    il
    lhol
    dst
    hatat
    ti
    tude.Il
    ookatBr
    endawho’
    sal
    soannoy
    edbyt
    his.

    Me:
    “Isshecal
    l
    ingmeory
    ou?
    ”
    IaskBr
    enda,
    sheshr
    ugshershoul
    der
    sandr
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Thenewcomer
    .”

    Shest
    atespoi
    nti
    ngatmebef
    oregoi
    ngbackt
    oherof
    fi
    ce.

    Ohnoshedi
    dn’
    t…

    Br
    endar
    oll
    sherey
    esagai
    n.

    Br
    enda:
    “Namhl
    aissuchabi
    tch.
    ”

    Shest
    ates.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sherpr
    obl
    em any
    way
    ?”

    Br
    enda:
    “Thedoct
    ort
    it
    lehasherf
    lyi
    nghi
    gh,
    shef
    ucki
    ngt
    hinksshe’
    sbet
    tert
    hanev
    ery
    one
    ar
    oundher
    e.”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Di
    dyouj
    ustsayt
    heFwor
    d?”

    Br
    enda:
    “Don’
    tyousayi
    t?”

    Me:
    “It
    ’snoti
    mpr
    int
    edonmyt
    ongue,
    itt
    endst
    ocomeoutwhenI
    ’
    m ext
    remel
    yangr
    y.”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Br
    enda:
    “Oh,
    youi
    nnocentsoul
    .Howol
    dar
    eyou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y,Br
    enda?
    ”

    Myquest
    ionamusesher
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “I’
    m ki
    ddi
    ng,
    youshoul
    dgoseewhatt
    hatbi
    tchwant
    s.”

    Ili
    ket
    hisgi
    rl
    ,Brendajusttur
    ned35.Shel
    i
    esaboutheragethoughandt
    ell
    speopl
    ethatshe’
    s
    twent
    yone.She’sfunny,
    shesaysthewor
    ldi
    syours.Youcanbewhatev
    eryouwanttobe.

    Me:
    “I’
    m al
    readybor
    ed.Whatcanshepossi
    blywant
    ?”

    Br
    enda:
    “Gof
    indout
    ,int
    hemeant
    ime,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    oor
    derf
    ishandchi
    ps.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    l
    lmeety
    out
    her
    e.”

    Shenods.Iwal
    kinNamhl
    a’
    sof
    fi
    cet
    ofi
    ndhersi
    tt
    ingbackonherchai
    r.Shegi
    vesmeher
    famousstar
    e.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Youdi
    dn’
    tknock.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thedoorwasopen.
    ”

    Namhl
    a:“
    Thatdoesn’
    tgi
    vey
    out
    her
    ightt
    ojustbudgei
    nher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Youcal
    l
    edmeher
    e.”
    Shescabsmybodyfr
    om t
    optobot
    tom, Iam notbot
    her
    edbythat
    .Shet
    akesherwal
    l
    etf
    rom t
    he
    tabl
    e,pul
    l
    souta100r
    andnot
    eandreachesoutherhandtome.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Getmeacupofcof
    feeandsomesnacks.
    ”

    Wow.

    Me:
    “Excuseme?
    ”

    Namhl
    a:“
    Isai
    d…”

    Me:
    “Ihear
    dwhaty
    ousai
    ddoct
    or,
    Idonotr
    uner
    randsf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Namhl
    a:“
    What
    ’sy
    ournameagai
    n?”

    If
    eel
    li
    kesmacki
    ngt
    hatsmugof
    fherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o.”

    Namhl
    a:“
    Yeah.I
    ’
    m abusydoct
    or,
    okay
    ?Ihav
    eli
    vest
    osav
    es.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’smypr
    obl
    em because?
    ”

    Namhl
    a:“
    Yourr
    udenessi
    snotcut
    e.”

    Me:
    “I’
    m nott
    ryi
    ngt
    obecut
    edoct
    or.
    ”

    Shegr
    imacesatme.

    Namhl
    a“IwonderwhatMbusohasseeni
    nawomanl
    i
    key
    ou.
    ”

    Me:“
    Holditrightt
    her
    esi
    si,
    youknownot
    hingaboutme.Iwoul
    dappr
    eci
    atei
    t,i
    fyoukeepoutof
    mypri
    vat
    el i
    fe.”

    Namhl
    a:“
    Mmmhhh,
    unoml
    omoneh?
    ”(Youhav
    easmar
    tmout
    h.)

    Me:
    “Ar
    ewedonedoct
    or?I
    t’
    smyl
    unchbr
    eakandIneedt
    oeat
    .”

    Shedoesn’
    trespond,
    inst
    eadgl
    aresatme.Thatl
    ooki
    sdeadl
    y.

    Namhla:“
    Doyouknow,y
    ouarenotquali
    fi
    edtobeaf
    ull
    ti
    menur
    se.You’
    reonl
    yher
    ebecauseof
    Mbuso,ot
    her
    wiseyouwoul
    dbemoppi ngfl
    oors.
    ”

    Thi
    swoman…

    Shehaspr
    obabl
    yseenmyageandt
    hinksshecanspeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    his.

    Me:
    “Doct
    oruy
    amf
    unauMbuso?
    ”(Doy
    ouwantMbuso?
    )

    Herey
    esbuckandherj
    awdr
    ops.Ibombedherwi
    tht
    hisone.

    Me: “
    No,I’
    mj ustasking.Youcan’
    tinsul
    tme,wi
    thoutmenti
    oni
    nghim.Icameheretowork,
    not
    toquarr
    el overaman.I fMbusowant sy
    ou,hewil
    lappr
    oachyou.Asforme,l
    eavemeoutofthi
    s.
    Iam notabouttofightoveramanwi tha29yearoldwoman.Umdaladoct
    or,acty
    ourage.
    ”
    (You’
    reold.)
    Namhl
    a:“
    Howdar
    eyouspeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    his?Iwi
    l
    lhav
    eyour
    epor
    ted.
    ”

    Shegr
    owl
    s,Idon’
    tcar
    e.She’
    snotmyboss.

    Me:“
    Goahead,you’
    ret
    heoneharassingme.Thi
    sisagov ernmenthospi
    tal
    ,noty
    ourpr
    ivat
    e
    pr
    act
    ice.I
    fyouwantanassi
    stant
    ,hi
    reone.I
    ’
    m notint
    erested.
    ”

    Shecli
    ckshertongueandrol
    lsherey
    esatme,
    Iroll
    minebackbef
    orewalki
    ngout
    .Icr
    ushi
    nto
    BrendathesecondIexi
    tthedoor,
    sheal
    mostf
    all
    sbut,
    regai
    nsherbal
    ance.

    Br
    enda:
    “Damnsana.
    ”(Fr
    iend.
    )

    Me:
    “We’
    rey
    oul
    i
    steni
    ngi
    n?”

    Shel
    aughsandappl
    audsme.

    Br
    enda:
    “Youputheri
    nherpl
    ace.Thatbi
    tchwi
    l
    lnev
    eropenherbi
    gmout
    hagai
    n.”

    Me:
    “She’
    sful
    lofshi
    t.
    ”

    Ionl
    yreal
    i
    zenowt
    hat
    ,shehasmademeupset
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “Shei
    syenashame,
    sov
    eley
    ou’
    redat
    ingDoct
    orMbuso?
    ”

    Igi
    veheraquest
    ioni
    ngl
    ook.Howdoessheknowhi
    m?

    Br
    enda:
    “Heusual
    l
    yhel
    psoutatt
    hishospi
    tal
    wheni
    t’
    sbusy
    .”

    Me:“
    Oh,anddoct
    hinksshehassomehol
    dov
    erhi
    m.Idon’
    tev
    enwantt
    oknowwhatt
    heyhad
    t
    oget
    her
    .”

    Br
    endalaughs,I
    ’m notsur
    pri
    sedbyherappr
    oachonNamhl
    a.Thatwomanl
    ooksdownon
    ev
    eryoneinthi
    splace.

    Br
    enda:
    “Let
    ’sgoeat
    ,Iwantt
    ohearev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Shel
    aughsasshet
    akesmyhand.

    AMARA*

    I
    t’sbeenaweeksinceIwasrescued.Ican’
    tr eal
    lysay
    ,howlif
    eisl
    ikewithRandal
    l.Iknow
    thoughthat
    ,Ienj
    oybei
    ngaroundhim, hewon’ tl
    eavemyside.Heobsessesovereveryt
    hing,
    I
    haveneverhadsomeonecareformel iket
    his.

    Someti
    mesIfeel
    him wat
    chi
    ngme,
    onl
    ytot
    urnandf
    indhi
    m gl
    anci
    ng,
    Inot
    icedhowhedoesn’
    t
    smil
    emuch.

    He’
    sfunnyt
    oobut
    ,hedoesn’
    tknowi
    t.

    Thi
    soneti
    meIlaughedatsomethi
    nghesaid,hehadt
    hisshockedlookonhi
    sf ace.Then,
    went
    ontoaski
    fhehadsaidsomethi
    ngwrong.That,
    wasmor ehi
    lar
    iousthant
    hejoke.
    Iwasint
    roducedtoLiy
    ana,she’
    sasweethear
    t.SheandChiomaarei
    nsepar
    able,
    Liy
    anaf ol
    l
    ows
    herev
    erywhere.It
    oldRandal
    laboutseei
    ngOl
    ivi
    aatMkhize’
    shouse,
    hedidn’
    tsayanyt
    hing.

    Ihav
    egott
    enusedtol
    ivi
    nghere,
    Ist
    il
    lhavethi
    sdesi
    retoseemyfami
    l
    y.I’
    myett
    obr
    ingi
    tup,
    somehowIfeel
    li
    kei
    tisasensi
    ti
    vet
    opicbecauseofhowourpat
    hsmet.

    Hedi
    dexpl
    ainwhyIcan’
    tseet
    hem now.

    IswearChiomawatchesmoretelev
    isi
    onthananyoneIhav
    eev ermet.Li
    yanaiswit
    hher
    ,she’
    s
    slant
    ingbackont
    hecouch,l
    ookingbored.Shegi
    vesmeal azysmil
    e,asIwalkint
    othel
    i
    ving
    room.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Iset
    tl
    enextt
    oher
    ,sheshi
    ft
    scl
    oset
    omeandpl
    acesherheadonmyshoul
    der
    .

    Li
    yana:
    “Chi
    chi
    won’
    tletmewat
    chcar
    toonsMar
    a.”

    Shecal
    l
    smeMar
    a.

    Chi
    oma:
    “You’
    reonl
    yal
    l
    owedt
    hir
    tymi
    nut
    esofTV,
    yourt
    imei
    sup.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m sur
    ewecancompr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Chi
    omal
    ooksatmeandshakesherhead,
    youcan’
    ttakeherawayf
    rom hershows.

    Idon’tknowwhatshe’
    swatchi
    ngbut,IdoubtLiy
    anashouldbeseei
    nganyofthi
    s.Itl
    ooksli
    kea
    Telenovel
    aaboutsomedr
    ugcartel
    .Ican’tsayanyt
    hingl
    est,
    shethi
    nksIwanttocontr
    olthi
    ngs.

    Mi
    ssyi
    ssul
    ki
    ngher
    ebesi
    deme.

    Li
    yana:
    “Mommyhast
    hatwhi
    tepowdert
    oo,
    sheput
    siti
    nmydi
    nner
    .”

    Thechi
    lddr
    opsabomb,
    Chi
    omat
    urnst
    oheri
    mmedi
    atel
    ywhi
    l
    eI’
    m st
    il
    ltr
    yingt
    ogr
    aspwhatshe
    j
    ustsai
    d.

    “
    What
    ?”

    WejerkupatthesoundofRandal
    l’
    svoi
    ce.Hisfacei
    scarr
    yingdaggers,
    Ihaveseenthatl
    ook
    bef
    ore.ThatdaywhenIat
    temptedtoki
    l
    lmy sel
    f,her
    ushestoLiyanaandkneel
    sbeforeher
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatdi
    dyousaypr
    incess?
    ”

    Thi
    schi
    l
    dknowsnot
    hing,
    herf
    acei
    ssoi
    nnocent
    .

    Li
    yana:
    “ThatpowderonTV,
    mommyhasi
    t.Ihav
    eseenherputi
    tinhernoset
    oo.
    ”

    Sher
    epeat
    s,Randal
    ll
    ooksscar
    yri
    ghtnow.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yousai
    dsomet
    hingel
    se,
    thatsheput
    siti
    nyourf
    ood?
    ”

    Shenodsi
    nnocent
    ly,
    asshepl
    ayswi
    tht
    hesl
    eev
    esofherj
    ersey
    .It
    hinkhe’
    sscar
    ingher
    .

    Li
    yana:
    “Whatisi
    tpapa?Mommydi
    dn’
    ttel
    lmewhati
    twas,
    sheonl
    ysai
    d,i
    twi
    l
    lhel
    pmesl
    eep.
    I
    sitmedici
    ne?
    ”
    I
    ’
    m wat
    chi
    ngRandal
    l
    ’sexpr
    essi
    on,
    hisr
    agei
    ntensi
    fi
    es.Hedr
    opshi
    shead,
    hidi
    nghi
    sfacef
    rom
    t
    hechi
    l
    d.

    Me:
    “Li
    ya,
    arey
    ousur
    eitwasn’
    tsal
    torsugar
    ?”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    asshel
    eer
    supatme.

    Li
    yana:
    “Itdi
    dn’
    ttast
    eli
    kei
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Di
    dsheonl
    yputi
    tiny
    ourf
    ood?
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “Yesbut
    ,sheanduncl
    eJosephputi
    tint
    hei
    rnose.
    ”

    Shedeclar
    es,Randal
    lrai
    seshi
    shead.Iseethetear
    sthathav
    ewell
    edupinhi
    seyes.If
    eelan
    uneasi
    nessinmyheart,somehowIdon’tl
    i
    kethosetear
    s.Ipl
    acemyhandonhisshoul
    derand
    herunshiseyestome.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Iwhisper
    ,hedr
    opshisey
    es.TakesLi
    yanai
    ntohi
    sarmsandsi
    tsfl
    atont
    hef
    loor
    .Shecar
    ri
    es
    thi
    sconfusedl
    ook,
    asshecan’tgr
    aspwhati
    swrongwi
    thherf
    ather
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Li
    ya?
    ”

    Hecal
    l
    soutt
    oher
    ,herheadi
    srest
    ingonhi
    schest
    .

    Li
    yana:
    “Yes,
    papa.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m sor
    ryIcoul
    dn’
    tpr
    otecty
    ou,
    mypr
    incess,
    I’
    m sor
    ryIwasn’
    tther
    etokeepy
    ousaf
    e.”

    Heexpr
    essesemot
    ional
    l
    y,Li
    yanat
    ri
    est
    omov
    eoutofhi
    sar
    msbut
    ,he’
    snotl
    ett
    inggo.

    Li
    yana:
    “Papammhhmmhh.
    ”

    He’
    shol
    dingheral
    i
    ttl
    etoot
    ight
    .

    It
    hinkhe’
    scr
    ying,
    Ican’
    tseehi
    sface.

    Il
    eeratChioma,shehast
    urnedof
    ftheTV.She’
    salsowat
    chi
    ngt
    hem,
    Liy
    anal
    ooksscar
    ed,
    she
    doesn’
    tunderst
    andwhat’
    swrongwit
    hherfat
    her.

    Me:
    “Randy
    ,you’
    rescar
    ingher
    .”

    Ipl
    acemyhandonhi
    sshoul
    deragai
    n.Hepul
    l
    sheroutofhi
    sar
    ms,
    kisseshercheek.

    Randal
    l
    :“Got
    oChi
    omapr
    incess.
    ”

    Sheskipstoher
    ,Randal
    ltur
    nst
    ome.Aknotst
    andsonhi
    sfor
    ehead,
    fort
    hef
    ir
    stt
    imehi
    sey
    es
    arenotlooki
    ngst
    rai
    ghtatme.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m goi
    ngoutf
    orawhi
    l
    e.Wi
    l
    lyoubeokay
    ?”

    Inod,
    Ican’tst
    ophimfrom goingoutbut
    ,Ihavemi
    sgi
    vi
    ngsaboutt
    hisout
    ingofhi
    s.Her
    ises
    fr
    om thef
    loor,
    Igetupaswel l
    andtailhi
    m ashemosey
    stothedoor
    .
    Het
    urnst
    ome,
    hisey
    esar
    econceal
    i
    ngsomet
    hing.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    .”

    Ineedt
    oknowt
    his.

    Apuckergrowsbet
    weenhi
    seyebrows,bef
    orehi
    smout
    hacceptsasneer,heleansoverand
    br
    ushesmycheekwi t
    hhi
    sli
    ps.Hi
    scheekfall
    sonmi
    neandIhearhi
    m breatheasighof
    l
    assi
    tude.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    llbeokay
    .”

    Hest
    atessof
    tl
    yandr
    ushesoutoft
    hedoorwi
    thoutmeet
    ingmyey
    es.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    70*

    RANDALL*

    Myt ear
    sarebli
    ndingmyv i
    sion,
    wi pi
    ngt hem haspr
    ov enfut
    il
    e.Ihadt
    orushoutofthehouse,
    I
    didn’
    twantAmar atoseemei ntears.Thereisati
    ghteningonmychestthatmakesmewantt o
    scream,thi
    srageissuff
    ocati
    ngme.

    Dammi
    t!
    !!

    Ihavetocal
    lSt
    yles,maybehi
    ssanit
    ywill
    cal
    m medown.Li
    yana’
    swordskeeprepl
    ayi
    nginmy
    mind,t
    heyaret
    or ment
    ingme.I’
    m dr
    ivi
    ngonthef
    ourl
    anehi
    ghway ,
    headedtoBoksbur
    g.

    I
    ’mlosi
    ngmymi ndatthethoughtofLi
    yanabei
    ngf
    eddr
    ugs,
    ther
    ewer
    enev
    ersi
    gns.Unl
    essI
    wastoobusyt
    onoticethem.

    Aloudhonkjol
    tsmebackfrom t
    hepai
    nfulmemor
    ylane.Ilur
    chthecartothesi
    de,
    asIdodgea
    bi
    gt r
    uckandparkont
    hesideofther
    oad.Myhear
    tisvigor
    ouslythuddi
    ngagai
    nstmychest
    .The
    dr
    iverst
    ickshi
    shandoutandshowsmet hemi
    ddl
    efinger.

    Thatwasacl
    oseone.

    Ispeeddi
    alSt
    yles,
    heanswer
    simmedi
    atel
    y.Henev
    erdi
    sappoi
    ntsmewi
    tht
    his.

    St
    yles:
    “Wai
    t,pausei
    t.
    ”

    Hesoundshappy
    .

    Me:
    “Pausewhat
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m nott
    alki
    ngt
    oyou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ol
    i
    viaf
    edLi
    yanadr
    ugs.
    ”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduce.

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ?”

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lher
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Me:
    “ThereasonIam t
    ell
    i
    ngyouthi
    sisbecauseyou’
    remybr
    otherandIdon’
    twanty
    out
    hinki
    ng
    t
    heworstofme,whenyoufi
    ndoutwhatIhavedone.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Hol
    don.
    ”

    Ihearshuf
    fl
    ingi
    nthebackgr
    ound.

    St
    yles:
    “Randy
    .”
    Me:
    “Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”

    Sty
    les:
    “Sethu’
    s,Ihadtogooutsi
    deforpr
    ivacy
    .Randal
    l
    ,Ithi
    nky
    oushoul
    dgetherar
    rest
    ed.If
    ear
    youmighthateyoursel
    fforki
    l
    li
    ngthemotherofy
    ourchil
    d.”

    Ishoul
    dn’
    thav
    ecal
    l
    edhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Whent
    hatl
    oanshar
    kki
    l
    ledAsaandy
    ouwentf
    orhi
    swhol
    efami
    l
    y.Di
    dIobj
    ectSt
    yles?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “That
    ’snott
    hesameRandy
    ,thatbast
    ardmeantnot
    hingt
    ome.
    ”

    Me:Oli
    vi
    ameansnot
    hingt
    ome,
    Iwassor
    eadyt
    ogi
    vei
    tal
    lupandf
    orgett
    heol
    dRandal
    lfor
    Amara.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “YoumeanScar
    ?”

    Me:
    “Hewant
    sbl
    oodandIhav
    etof
    eedhi
    m.”

    St
    yles:
    “Randydon’
    t,
    youwi
    l
    lhat
    eyour
    sel
    faf
    tert
    his.
    ”

    Hehasgonecr
    azy
    .

    Me:“No,y
    ou’
    renotst
    oppi
    ngmet
    hist
    imeSt
    yles.Unl
    essy
    ouhav
    eanot
    herwayt
    opaci
    fyt
    his
    anger
    .”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hisr
    uthl
    esssi
    deofy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:“
    Peopl
    easkf
    orit
    .HaveyouseenLi
    yanaSt
    yles?She’
    sababy
    .Il
    etev
    ery
    thi
    ngOl
    i
    viadi
    dto
    mychil
    dsl
    i
    debut
    ,notthi
    sti
    me.”

    St
    yles:
    “Icanonl
    yhopet
    haty
    ouwon’
    tli
    vet
    oregr
    ett
    his.
    ”

    Me:
    “By
    eSt
    yles.
    ”

    Icutt
    hecal
    l
    ,hi
    swor
    dsal
    way
    sgetmet
    hinki
    ng.

    May
    bet
    odayi
    snotherdayt
    odi
    ehowev
    er,
    Iwi
    l
    lmakeherwi
    shf
    ordeat
    h.

    Mbusomi
    ghthav
    ewhatIneedt
    omakeOl
    i
    viasuf
    fer
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Thi
    sishowheanswer
    smycal
    l
    s.

    Me:
    “IknowI
    ’
    m noty
    ourf
    avour
    it
    eper
    son,
    atl
    eastsoundhappyt
    ohearf
    rom me.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “Cal
    l
    sfr
    om y
    ouar
    enotal
    way
    spl
    easant
    .”

    Me:
    “It
    ’sgoodt
    oknowy
    ouunder
    standmesowel
    l
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Whoshoty
    out
    hist
    ime?
    ”
    Me:
    “You’
    reaf
    unnydoct
    or,
    nice.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Yet
    ,Iwai
    tfort
    hedayy
    ouwi
    l
    llaughatmyj
    okes.
    ”

    Isneerathi
    ssal
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “Ineedadef
    ibr
    il
    lat
    orA.
    S.A.
    Pandanadr
    enal
    i
    n.”

    Mbuso:
    “Why
    ?You’
    renotadoct
    or.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pmeornot
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “RandyIdon’
    twantt
    ogeti
    ntot
    roubl
    epl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “Tr
    oubl
    ewi
    thwho?Mbusoy
    ou…nev
    ermi
    nd.
    ”

    Idr
    opt
    hecal
    l
    ,I’
    m aski
    ngt
    hewr
    ongper
    son.

    Me:{Youwanty
    ourpr
    eci
    ousOl
    i
    viaal
    i
    ve,
    hav
    eadef
    ibr
    il
    lat
    orandanadr
    enal
    i
    ndel
    i
    ver
    edather
    house.
    }

    It
    extSt
    yles.

    NTOMBI
    *

    There’
    sacommot ioninthel
    i
    vingr
    oom, mybrother
    sareargui
    ngwit
    huncl
    eNjabul
    oandZakhel
    e.
    Seeingthest
    ateMosesisin,madethem angr
    y.Uncledemandst
    heypayacowforthedamage
    theydidtoMoses.JonasandMhambi ar
    enothav i
    ngit.

    Me:
    “Ei
    sh!Mosesst
    opspl
    ashi
    ngmewi
    thwat
    er.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m bat
    hinghim, If
    inall
    ymanagedtogethi
    minthehouse.Hehasn’
    tstoppedsi
    ngi
    ngandtal
    king
    t
    oNkosiyabo.Idon’tknowi
    fhe’sr
    eal
    lyher
    e,maybel
    osinghi
    smi ndhasmadehim hal
    l
    uci
    nate.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    wear
    eri
    ch.
    ”

    Hespl
    asheswat
    eronmyf
    aceashesay
    sthi
    s.

    Me:
    “Mosesman.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksatmeandl
    aughs.

    Me:
    “Sukuma.
    ”(Getup.
    )

    Ii
    nst
    ructhi
    m,asIhol
    dhi
    m agown.

    Moses:
    “Eyy
    ,si
    zothi
    ni.Bat
    hi si
    sukumeZulu,nal
    amanzi
    asey
    abanda.
    ”(WhatcanwesayZul
    u,
    t
    heywantustogetupandt hiswateri
    scold.
    )

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    es,
    I’
    mti
    redoft
    his.
    Iwrapthegownar
    oundhi
    m,wepasst
    hel
    i
    vingr
    oom onourwayt
    othebedr
    oom.Pet
    uni
    a
    cackl
    esloudl
    y.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Yeahneh,
    yimpi
    l
    oyasegol
    il
    e.Ngi
    yay
    ivuma.
    ”(Thi
    sist
    hej
    obur
    gli
    fe.
    )

    Moses:“Jonas,
    akekhouAmar
    a.Ngi
    yi
    thengi
    sil
    eley
    angane.Isol
    dyourni
    eceJonas.
    ”(Amar
    ais
    nother
    e,Isoldher
    .)

    Helaughsasheclapshi
    shands,
    Jonascl
    i
    ckshi
    stonguei
    nret
    urn.Mosesat
    tent
    ivel
    ygl
    aresat
    Mhambi,asifsear
    chi
    nghim.

    Moses:“Mhambi
    ,usasel
    a?Uhambani
    nikant
    iwena.MywifeandIwantt
    oenj
    oyourmoneyi
    n
    peace.
    ”(Mhambi
    ,you’
    resti
    l
    lher
    e?Whenareyouleav
    ing?
    )

    Canheshutupal
    ready
    ?He’
    smaki
    ngt
    hingswor
    se.

    Me:
    “Mosest
    hul
    a.”(
    Keepqui
    et.
    )

    Jonasshakeshi
    shead.

    Jonas:“
    Thi
    sshouldbealessont
    oal
    levi
    lpeopleoutt
    her
    e,i
    mpil
    oakuyonai
    ntoyokudl
    ala.The
    bi
    blesayswhatgoesar
    oundcomesbackaround.
    ”(Li
    fei
    snott
    obeplayedwit
    h.)

    Whi
    chbi
    blei
    sher
    eadi
    ng?

    Zakhel
    e:“
    Arey
    oui
    nsul
    ti
    ngusbaf
    o?”

    Jonas:
    “No,
    I’
    mtel
    l
    ingt
    het
    rut
    h.”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Chabhut
    i.I
    tsay
    sther
    eisnopeacef
    ort
    hewi
    cked.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    aandherbi
    gmout
    h,Ihat
    eher
    .

    Jonas:
    “Yest
    hat
    .Moseswi
    l
    lnev
    erseepeace,
    unt
    ilAmar
    aisbackhome.
    ”

    Hei
    nsi
    sts.

    Moses:
    “Isol
    dAmar
    a,she’
    snotcomi
    ngback.
    ”

    Hesi
    ngs,
    Ismashmyhandonhi
    smout
    htosi
    l
    encehi
    m.Iam t
    ir
    edofhear
    inghi
    m chantt
    hese
    wor
    ds.

    Me:
    “Tomor
    rowIam t
    aki
    ngmyhusbandtoseeS’
    godi
    ,hewil
    lfi
    xhim.Bhuti
    Jonas,
    youar
    enot
    t
    heonl
    yonewhocanconsul
    t.WhenMosesi
    sbet
    ter
    ,hewil
    ldealwi
    thall
    ofyou.
    ”

    Jonasl
    aughs.

    Jonas:
    “Yenzaokubonay
    oNt
    ombi
    .”(
    Dowhaty
    ouseef
    it
    .)

    Mhambi
    :“Uy
    adlal
    alo?Doy ouknowtheButhel
    eziswena?Ithi
    nky
    ouhav
    efor
    got
    tenwhi
    ch
    f
    amil
    yyouwerebornin.Asi
    dlal
    i
    ,si
    yany
    athela.
    ”(Wedon’tpl
    ay.
    )

    Petuni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    awusho?Iphii
    nganeyakho?Didyoutell
    youri
    n-l
    awsthaty
    ouandy
    our
    husbandoust
    edyouronl
    ychi
    ldoutoft
    hishouse?”(Tel
    lme,whereisy
    ourchi
    ld?
    )
    Zakhel
    e:“
    What
    ?Nt
    ombi
    ?Yousai
    dLel
    ofoundaj
    obandmov
    edoutsoshecanbecl
    osert
    o
    work.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    svoi
    ceatme,
    Pet
    uni
    alaughsoutl
    oudandcl
    apsherhands.

    Icl
    i
    ckmyt
    ongueandl
    eadMosest
    oourbedr
    oom.

    Iwi
    shhecanst
    opsi
    ngi
    ng.

    STYLES*

    Spendi
    ngt hedaywi
    thSet
    huwasj
    ustwhatIneeded,
    sher
    eal
    l
    yisabr
    eat
    hoff
    reshai
    r.Ihav
    en’
    t
    fel
    tatpeaceinawhil
    e.

    Whoneedst herapywhenIhaveher?Ihavefacedenoughhumili
    ati
    onwithKhethuandI’
    m gl
    ad
    thatIfi
    nal
    lyendedthi
    ngswithher
    ,Ihavenor egr
    etsaboutmydecisi
    on.Though,If
    eelsor
    ryf
    or
    her.Shehasbeenapar tofmyli
    feforalongtime,Ihadgot
    tenusedtoher.

    I
    ’m dr
    ivi
    ngtoahot
    el,
    Iwoul
    d’v
    egonet
    oRandal
    l
    ’shousebut
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    ocr
    owdhi
    sspace.
    Amaraneedsti
    metoadj
    ust
    .

    Ist
    il
    lcan’tbel
    iev
    ewhatOl
    ivi
    adid,
    Iwoul
    dkil
    lforLi
    yanaandIknowOl
    i
    viahast
    opayf
    orwhat
    shedid.But,t
    hegir
    lwi
    l
    lneedhermot
    heroneday.

    Judgi
    ngfrom t
    hetextRandal
    lsent
    ,itseemshehasthoughtt
    wiceaboutki
    l
    li
    ngher
    ,hehas
    somethi
    nginthatsi
    ckmindofhisthough.Iknowheisgoi
    ngtotor
    tureher
    .

    Myphoner
    ings,
    it’
    sDl
    adl
    a.IhopehehasdonewhatIaskedhi
    mto.

    Me:
    “Dl
    adl
    a.”

    Igr
    eet
    .

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Whathav
    eyoudonet
    omydaught
    erSi
    shi
    ?”

    Thesoundofhi
    svoi
    cei
    snotwel
    comi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dshet
    ell
    you?
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Youaskedhert
    oleav
    eyourhouse.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    d.”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Wil
    lyouexpl
    ainwhathappenedorweary
    ourar
    roganceony
    oursl
    eev
    e?”

    Me:
    “Yourdaught
    erneedshel
    pDl
    adl
    a.”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Arey
    ousay
    ingshe’
    scr
    azy
    ?”

    Me:
    “Howev
    ery
    ouwantt
    oputi
    t.
    ”
    Hehuf
    fs,
    Icansenseangeri
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.Khet
    humusthav
    ecookedupsomest
    ory
    .

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Inev
    erl
    i
    kedy
    ouSi
    shi
    .”

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmesomet
    hingIdon’
    tknow.
    ”

    Dl
    adla:
    “YouusedKhet
    huandnowt
    haty
    ou’
    redonewi
    thher
    ,yout
    hrowherawayl
    i
    keshe’
    ssome
    pi
    eceoftr
    ash.
    ”

    Thi
    smani
    scl
    ear
    lyi
    nthedar
    k.

    Me:
    “Noonehasev
    erl
    ovedt
    hatwoman,
    thewayIl
    ovedher
    .Mar
    ri
    edornot
    ,Khet
    huwasmyl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Was?You’
    reat
    ypi
    cal
    manSi
    shi
    .Whathappenedt
    othatl
    ove,
    then?
    ”

    Me:“WhatdidKhethutel
    lyouexact
    lyDl
    adla?Imean,i
    tdoesn’
    tmat
    terwhatIsay
    ,youhav
    e
    al
    readydeci
    dedthatIam tobl
    amef ort
    hisfai
    l
    edrel
    ati
    onship.
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Shehasnor
    easont
    oli
    etome.
    ”

    Thi
    sisawast
    eoft
    ime.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,int
    hatcase,
    Ihav
    enot
    hingel
    set
    osayt
    oyou.
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Ifany
    thi
    nghappenst
    omydaught
    er,
    Iam comi
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    You’
    reapi
    eceofshi
    t,y
    out
    hat
    ?”

    Me:“Gety
    ourdaughteroutofmyhouseDl adl
    a.Iwantnothi
    ngtodowithher,
    sitKhethudown
    andaskherwhatreal
    lyhappened.Getherhel
    pbeforesheunrav
    elsandstopassumingthi
    ngs.
    ”

    Dladl
    a:“
    Fine,Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    .IfIf
    indoutt
    haty
    ouhav
    ebeenabusi
    ngher
    ,Iwi
    l
    lputy
    oubehi
    nd
    barsandthrowawaythekey
    .”

    Me:
    “We’
    redoneher
    e.”

    Ihangup,Khethuhasbeencall
    i
    ngmesi
    nce.Ther
    eisapartofmethat
    ,want
    stoknowhowshe
    i
    sdoing.But,
    answeringhercal
    l
    swi
    ll
    beli
    ketaki
    ngtenst
    epsback.

    NOMBULELO*

    Brendal
    ivesint
    heCBD,shet
    akestaxi
    s.So,Ideci
    dedtotakeat
    axi
    home.Itext
    edMbusoand
    tol
    dhim nottof
    etchme,her
    epl
    iedwit
    h‘okay’
    .Idon’
    tknowwhathemeantbythat
    ,Ideci
    dednot
    todwell
    oni t
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “Ar
    eyouwor
    kingt
    omor
    row?
    ”

    Me:
    “No.
    ”
    Br
    enda:
    “Canweexchange?Ineedadayof
    f.
    ”

    Me:
    “Nope.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esasshej
    umpsi
    ntohert
    axi
    .

    Me:
    “By
    e.”

    Iwav
    easIwal
    kpast
    ,taxi
    stoRandbur
    gar
    eont
    het
    hir
    dlane.

    “
    Nombul
    elo.
    ”

    Dammi
    t,Iknowt
    hatv
    oice.I
    t’
    sMar
    tha,
    Iignor
    eherandpi
    ckupmypace.

    “
    Nombul
    eloMngoma,
    Iknowi
    t’
    syou.
    ”

    Shi
    t!
    !!

    Ist
    opandt
    urnt
    ofi
    ndhermar
    chi
    ngt
    owar
    dsme.

    Whatdoesshewant
    ?

    If
    eignasmi
    l
    e.

    Me:
    “Mam Mar
    tha.
    ”

    Sheput
    sherhandonmyshoul
    derasshest
    opsbef
    oreme.

    Martha:“Yohngi
    khathelenganeyami.Myfeetar
    ekil
    li
    ngme,Ij
    ustcamef
    rom t
    hehospi
    tal
    .My
    poorfeetareswol
    len,Ican’
    tevensleepatni
    ght.
    ”(I
    ’
    mt i
    redmychi
    ld.
    )

    Imov
    ebackal
    i
    ttl
    e,gest
    uri
    ngt
    hat
    ,sher
    emov
    esherhandf
    rom me.

    I
    ’
    m al
    sot
    ir
    ed.

    Me:
    “Oh,
    aski
    es.
    ”(Sor
    ry.
    )

    Mar
    tha:
    “Di
    dyouheart
    haty
    ourf
    atheri
    sbackhomeandhehasl
    osthi
    smi
    nd?
    ”

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Iknowhewasmi
    ssi
    ng.

    Mar
    tha:
    “If
    eel
    sor
    ryf
    ory
    ourmot
    her
    ,theshameshemustbegoi
    ngt
    hrough.
    ”

    Ihav
    etogoseehi
    m,hei
    smyf
    atherandhest
    il
    lhol
    dsaspeci
    alpl
    acei
    nmyhear
    t.

    Me:
    “Mam Mar
    tha,
    Ihav
    etogo.Ther
    e’sonet
    axi
    lef
    t.
    ”

    Idon’
    thav
    eti
    mef
    ornei
    ghbour
    hoodgossi
    psandknowi
    ngMar
    tha,
    shenev
    erst
    ops.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Ohokay
    ,kodwawenaunj
    ani
    ?Howi
    syourbaby
    ?”(
    Howar
    eyou?
    )

    Shesl
    ouchesandplacesherhandonmybel
    l
    y,If
    eel
    aneedt
    odr
    if
    tback.Sher
    isesandl
    ooksat
    mebut,notdi
    rect
    ly.
    Me:“
    I’
    m okaymam Mar
    tha,
    youknowIhavebeenhav
    ingast
    rangedr
    eam,
    aboutawoman
    comi
    ngtome,sayi
    ngshewant
    smybaby .
    ”

    Martha:“
    I’
    m sureit
    ’sj
    ustadr
    eam Lel
    o.Youshoul
    ddr
    inkwar
    m mi
    l
    kbef
    oregoi
    ngt
    obed,
    itwi
    l
    l
    hel
    py ousleeppeacef
    ull
    y.
    ”

    Sheut
    ter
    swhi
    l
    e,t
    ryi
    ngsohar
    dtoav
    oidl
    ooki
    ngi
    ntomyey
    es.

    Me:
    “Idoubti
    t’
    sjustadr
    eam,
    itkeepsr
    epeat
    ingi
    tsel
    f.Ther
    eisobv
    iousl
    ysomet
    hingher
    e.”

    Herey
    esmeetmi
    neandshei
    nst
    ant
    lydr
    opst
    hem andwal
    ksawaywi
    thoutsay
    ingawor
    d.

    AsIwat
    chher,Ir
    eal
    iset
    hatherbodyst
    ruct
    urei
    sthatoft
    hewomani
    nmydr
    eams.Icoul
    dbe
    seei
    ngt
    hingst
    hough.

    Ij
    umpi
    nthet
    axi
    ,I
    ’mt
    hel
    astonei
    nso,
    wemov
    e.

    Suddenl
    y,If
    eelmyheadspi
    nning,
    andadiscomfor
    tinmybell
    y.I
    tsuff
    ocat
    esmeabit
    .Icr
    acka
    windowopen,j
    ustenoughf
    orsomeair
    ,knowingpeopl
    ewi
    llcomplai
    naboutt
    hewi
    nd.

    Ir
    estmyheadont
    hewi
    ndowasIt
    ryt
    obr
    eat
    he.

    “
    Uri
    ghtsi
    si?
    ”(Ar
    eyouokay
    ?)

    Al
    adynextt
    omeenqui
    res.Inod.

    I
    ’
    mly
    ing,
    I’
    m notokay
    .Itf
    eel
    sli
    keIwi
    l
    lpassoutany
    time.

    “
    Youdon’
    tlookf
    ine,
    you’
    resweat
    ing.Her
    e,dr
    inksomewat
    er.
    ”

    Shehandsmeawat erbot
    tl
    e,Idon’
    twantt
    oseem wei
    rdso,
    Itakei
    t.I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    odr
    inki
    t
    though,
    I’
    m pr
    egnantandt
    hewor l
    disanevi
    lpl
    ace.

    If
    iddl
    eformyphonei
    nmybag,
    Ineedt
    ocal
    lMbuso.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouhome?
    ”

    Iaskwhenheanswer
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Yes.Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Inat
    axi
    .Pl
    easemeetmeatt
    hegat
    e,I
    ’
    m notokay
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    Ithi
    nki
    t’
    ssomet
    hingIat
    e.”

    Mbuso:
    “Okay
    ,you'
    l
    lfi
    ndmet
    her
    e.”

    If
    eel
    creepedoutaf
    termeet
    ingupwi
    thMar
    tha,
    Ican’
    tshaket
    hef
    eel
    i
    ngt
    hatshe’
    sthewomani
    n
    mydreams.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    71*

    OLI
    VIA*

    Ist
    il
    lcan’
    tbeli
    evethatRandall
    putmeunderl
    ockdowni
    nmyhouse,
    ther
    ear
    emenguar
    dingt
    he
    houseandthathasmadei thardf
    ormetoescape.

    Randallsaidhei
    snotdonewi t
    hmeandIfearwhathemighthav
    ei nmind.I
    ’
    mlockedupi
    nmy
    bedroom, bei
    ngsur
    roundedbystr
    angemenIdonotknowisscary.Ij
    umpf r
    om t
    hebedwhenI
    hearthedoorshut,
    whoev eri
    sinmyhousej
    ustbangedt
    hedoor.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sther
    e?Whatdoy
    ouwanti
    nmyhouse?Randal
    lsai
    dyou’
    renotal
    l
    owedt
    oent
    er.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    ,Idonott
    rustt
    hem atal
    l
    .

    “
    Notev
    enmeOl
    i
    via?It
    houghty
    oumi
    ghtneedt
    oseeaf
    ami
    l
    iarf
    ace.
    ”

    Randal
    lspeaksfr
    om t
    heothersi
    deoft
    hedoor,t
    hisi
    smychancetopleadhim,t
    oletmego.I
    openthedoorandfal
    lonmykneesinf
    rontofhi
    m,Ihopehef
    all
    sformyt ear
    s.

    Me:“Randal
    l,
    I’
    m sor
    ry.Pl
    easefor
    giveme,Ihavel
    ear
    ntmyl
    esson.Letmemakeupf
    ormy
    mi
    stakes,Iwi
    llbeabett
    ermothertoourbaby.
    ”

    Icr
    y,gr
    ippi
    ngonhi
    sleg.

    He’
    snotsay
    ingany
    thi
    ng,
    itf
    eel
    sli
    kef
    orev
    er.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Ican’
    tcomprehendwhyhe’ssoquiet.If
    eelaheavypresencewhi chcompelsmetol
    ookup.I
    meethissl
    ygrin,i
    tsendsshi
    versdownmyspi ne.Ibr
    ingmy sel
    fupf rom t
    hefl
    oor
    .Helooks
    scary
    ,he’
    sholdingasuper
    iorconf
    idencegest
    ure.Str
    aightpose,andhishandsonhi
    sback.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoubackRandal
    l
    ?”

    Het
    il
    tshi
    sheadt
    othesi
    deashi
    sgr
    ingr
    ows.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youdi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkIwoul
    dabandony
    ounow,
    didy
    ou?I
    ’
    m sor
    ryIt
    ookt
    ool
    ong.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hel
    ookony
    ourf
    ace.
    ”

    Hei
    sscar
    ingme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatl
    ook?
    ”

    Hebr
    ingshi
    shandsf
    orwar
    d,r
    eveal
    i
    ngar
    ope.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngwi
    tht
    hat
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Howdi
    dthosedr
    owni
    ngl
    essonsgot
    hel
    astt
    ime?If
    orgott
    oask.
    ”
    Me:
    “Randy
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Ineedt
    oknowi
    fwe’
    remaki
    ngpr
    ogr
    ess.
    ”

    Hehassomethinguphi
    ssleeveandIcan’
    tpossi
    blemakeoutwhatitcouldbe,
    hisf
    aceand
    demeanourar
    ecalm,hespeakswit
    hasofttoneasifhav
    ingaconversat
    ionwit
    hafri
    end.

    I
    ’
    m donef
    eigni
    ngt
    ear
    s,r
    eal
    onesshowupandpar
    adeonmyf
    ace.

    Het
    akesupal
    ookofconf
    usi
    on.

    Randal
    l
    :‘Whathappened?Whyar
    eyoucr
    ying?
    ”

    Hei
    nter
    rogat
    es,
    sof
    tl
    y.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odowi
    tht
    hatr
    opeRandal
    l
    ?”

    Icr
    y.

    Randall:“
    Oh, Oli
    via.Whydoy ouwantmet okeepr epeati
    ngmysel
    f?It
    oldyou,
    drowni
    ngl
    essons
    orbreathi
    ngl essonsrather
    .Youneedt opassthem thisti
    me,
    okay?We’regoi
    ngtotr
    ya
    di
    fferenttechnique,nothar
    dbut,abitcompli
    cated.”

    Heut
    ter
    s.It
    hinkofr
    unni
    ngbut
    ,wher
    ewi
    l
    lIgo?Thehousei
    sheav
    il
    yguar
    ded.

    Me:
    “RandyI
    ..
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Who’
    sRandy
    ?I’
    m Randal
    ltoy
    ou,
    we’
    renotf
    ri
    ends.
    ”

    Thedooropensandoneoft
    hemenwal
    kin,
    car
    ryi
    ngasmal
    lbox.

    “
    Boss,
    yourpackagehasar
    ri
    ved.
    ”

    Heannounceswhi
    l
    estandi
    ngbehi
    ndhi
    m,Randal
    lti
    l
    tshi
    sheadt
    othesi
    det
    oleeratt
    heman.He
    sl
    owlyt
    urnstomeandsmirks.

    Randal
    l
    :“Per
    fect
    ,wecanbegi
    n.”

    Hehandshi
    mther
    ope,
    themant
    akesi
    tandt
    iesi
    tint
    oanoose.I
    thi
    tsmenow,
    hewant
    sto
    hangme.

    Itur
    nandrun,headedt
    otheki
    tchen.If
    eel
    anar
    mroughl
    yci
    rcl
    ear
    oundmywai
    standpul
    lme
    back.Il
    ookuptoseeRandal
    l.

    Randal
    l
    :“Cl
    assi
    snotov
    erOl
    i
    via,
    Idon’
    trememberdi
    smi
    ssi
    ngy
    ouei
    ther
    .Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Hewhisperssoft
    ly.It
    hinkIwouldbelessafr
    aidifheshout
    satmeandifhe’
    sangershowedon
    hi
    sface.Thisqui
    etnessofhis,
    isthescari
    estthi
    ngIhaveeverseen.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tki
    l
    lme.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadashel
    ugsmebackt
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom.

    Randal
    l
    :"Whosai
    dany
    thi
    ngaboutki
    l
    li
    ng?Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyou.
    ”
    Igl
    areathi
    m ashestandswi
    thhi
    shandsi
    nhi
    spocket
    s.Themani
    nst
    ruct
    edt
    oti
    ether
    opei
    s
    donewit
    hhistask.

    Me:
    “Then,
    whati
    sther
    opef
    or?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ll
    ust
    rat
    ions.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”

    Hegr
    ins.

    Randal
    l
    :“Il
    ovet
    hist
    eacher
    ,st
    udentr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.YouaskandIanswer
    .”

    Col
    dunset
    tl
    ingchi
    l
    lsr
    usht
    hroughme,
    athi
    sanswer
    .

    Ir
    unmyey esbacktothemanwhohast
    iedt
    her
    opeov
    ert
    hewoodenbeam ont
    hecei
    l
    ingand
    pl
    acedachairunderi
    t.

    Me:
    “Randal
    lpl
    ease,
    tel
    lmewhatIdi
    d,soIcanaskf
    orf
    orgi
    veness.
    ”

    Icr
    y,Ican’
    tst
    op.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whaty
    oudi
    dcannotbef
    orgi
    venOl
    i
    via?
    ”

    He’
    sst
    art
    ingt
    oannoymewi
    thhi
    scal
    m demeanour
    .

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,Ihav
    ebeenl
    ockedupher
    e,Idi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    .Hel
    ooksatmel
    i
    keIam l
    osi
    ngmymi
    nd.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ohr
    eal
    l
    y?Whataboutf
    eedi
    ngdr
    ugst
    oa10y
    earol
    d?”

    OhGosh!Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkLi
    yanawoul
    dknowwhati
    twas.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whathappened?Youcan’
    tspeaknow?
    ”

    Isi
    gh.

    Me:
    “Whydoy
    oukeepl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    oLi
    yaRandal
    l
    ?She’
    sachi
    l
    d,shedoesn’
    tknowhowt
    ospeak
    t
    hetr
    uth.
    ”

    Hi
    sexpr
    essi
    onchanges,
    onl
    ynowhi
    sraget
    akesov
    erhi
    sface.

    Randal
    l:
    “Don’tfuckwi
    thmeOli
    via.Chi
    l
    drenonl
    yspeakt
    het
    rut
    h,Li
    yanai
    sten.Shedoesn’
    t
    knowthedif
    ferencebet
    weenr
    ightandwrong.
    ”

    Me:
    “Li
    yanai
    sapr
    obl
    em chi
    l
    d,y
    ou’
    l
    lseef
    ory
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Hegr
    imacesatme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Woman,
    youbet
    terst
    opl
    yi
    ng.You’
    reonl
    ypi
    ssi
    ngmeof
    f.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notl
    yi
    ng.
    ”

    Ibel
    l
    owathi
    m.
    Randall:
    ‘FuckyouOli
    vi
    a.Notoncehasthatchi
    ldaskedforyou.Whyi
    sthat
    ?Chil
    drenare
    closesttothei
    rmother
    s,theydon’
    tgoadaywithoutwanti
    ngthem.Li
    ya’
    sstoryi
    sdif
    fer
    ent,
    I
    thoughtitwasbecauseChiomaf i
    l
    ledt
    hatvoi
    dbut,no.Shehasnoconnect
    ionwit
    hyou,you
    fuckingabusedmybaby .
    ”

    Hegr
    it
    shi
    steet
    h,hi
    sey
    esr
    edandf
    ull
    off
    ury
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryRandal
    l
    ,I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Randal
    l:
    “Theper
    sony oushouldbeapologi
    singt
    o,i
    snothere.Iswear,
    Iwi
    l
    lmakesur
    ethatshe
    for
    getsyouev
    erexi
    sted.Iwil
    lwipeoutever
    ymemor yshehasofy ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youcan’
    tdot
    hat
    ,Imot
    her
    edher
    .She’
    smybaby
    .”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m.

    Randal
    l:
    “Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tdi
    sgr
    acer
    eal
    mot
    her
    soutt
    her
    e.You,
    clai
    mingt
    obeamot
    heri
    s
    bl
    asphemy.
    ”

    Heglancesatt
    hemanguardi
    ngtheropeandnods,
    Idon’tknowwhatthatmeans.Theman
    marchestowar
    dsme,Itr
    ytorunbut,
    hegrabsmeandpinsmeagai nstt
    hewall
    .Iscream ashe
    bi
    ndsmyhandsf r
    om t
    heback.Heturnsmebackaroundanddragsmet ot
    hetraptheyhave
    l
    aidforme.

    Me:
    “Randal
    lI’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam,hi
    sfaceisimpassi
    ve.Themanl
    i
    ftsmeupandpl
    acesmeont
    hechai
    r,Iwi
    ggl
    emy
    bodyandhecatchesmeasIfall
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Wecandot
    hist
    hewhol
    eni
    ghtOl
    i
    via,
    Igott
    ime.
    ”

    Hesmi
    rksatme,
    ashedel
    i
    ver
    swi
    thadeadpanv
    oice.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    I’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Ipl
    ead.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    odi
    e.”

    Themanput
    smeupont
    hechai
    ragai
    nandpl
    acest
    henooseov
    ermyneck.

    I
    ’
    m desper
    atel
    yst
    ari
    ngatRandal
    l
    ,cr
    yingmyey
    esout
    .

    Me:
    “Randypl
    ease,
    don’
    tdot
    his.Yousai
    dyouwon’
    tki
    l
    lme.
    ”

    Hei
    gnor
    esmel
    i
    keIam notev
    enher
    e.

    Hetakestheboxf r
    om t
    hetable,
    ripsitopenandpul
    l
    soutadefi
    bril
    l
    atorandanadr enal
    in.I
    wat
    chi nhorr
    orasmymi ndcannotgr aspwhathepl
    anst
    odowi t
    ht hose.Helooksatthisman
    whoisconstrai
    ningmeonthischairandnods.ThemanpushesthechairandIdangleintheai
    r,
    ast
    henoosecl enchesar
    oundmyneck.

    If
    eel
    pressur
    einmyt
    hroatandmyey
    esbegi
    ntowat
    er,
    Iam ov
    ert
    akenbyt
    hedesper
    ateur
    get
    o
    breat
    h.I
    nawhile,
    Itastesomet
    hingext
    remel
    ysouri
    nmymout h.Suddenl
    y,i
    ffeel
    sli
    keamatch
    hasbeenli
    tint
    hemi ddl
    eofmychestandthefi
    regr
    ows.If
    eel
    myl ungsstar
    ti
    ngtoclose.

    Igul
    pandgaspforbreat
    h,myheadspi
    nsasItrygaspi
    ngforai
    r.Thef
    astr
    ateofmyhear
    tsl
    ows
    i
    nbeat.If
    eel
    li
    fesli
    ppingaway
    ,asmysightst
    artst
    ocloseinonme.

    Thi
    sisi
    t.Thi
    sist
    heendofme.

    Isl
    i
    pint
    odar
    kness.

    NOMBULELO*

    I
    ’m cur
    ledup,
    halfnakedontheti
    ledfl
    oorinthelivi
    ngroom.Mybodyisswel
    teri
    ngandmy
    wombf eel
    sli
    ke,
    it’
    sbeingsl
    icedwitharazorblade.I
    ’v
    ebeentossi
    ngandtur
    ning,Mbusohas
    l
    osthope.Hesayshecan’tseeanythi
    ngwr ongwithmeandIcan’tt
    akeanypil
    lsduetobei
    ng
    pr
    egnant.

    Atf
    ir
    st,
    IthoughtIwashav
    ingami
    scar
    ri
    agebut
    ,I’
    m notbl
    eedi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Mbuso!
    !!
    ”

    Iscream,asIf
    eelanexcruci
    atingpai
    ninmywomb,hecomesrunni
    ngwit
    habucketofwat
    er
    andat owel
    .He’
    sbeencool i
    ngmybodywi t
    hacol
    dtowel,
    notoncehav
    eIshedatear
    .Thepai
    n
    i
    st oomuchthatmytearshav efai
    l
    edme.

    Mbuso:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Heasks,
    hisey
    esar
    ewi
    denedi
    nfear
    .

    Me:
    “Ithur
    ts.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    thewor
    dsout
    .

    Hekneelsi
    nfr
    ontofme,wri
    ngsthet
    owel
    andst
    art
    stappi
    ngmybody
    .Ishr
    ughi
    shandawayas
    t
    hecoldnessi
    ntensi
    fi
    est
    hepai
    n.

    Me:
    “Wai
    t,Mbusot
    her
    e’ssomet
    hingi
    nthi
    sroom.
    ”

    Hecar
    ri
    esaconf
    usedl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Cany
    ouheart
    hat
    ?It
    ’sababycr
    ying.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    other
    e’snot
    hing.Ican’
    thearany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Li
    stenman.
    ”

    Icanheari
    tloudandcl
    ear
    ,it
    ’si
    nther
    oom andi
    tscr
    iesar
    eagoni
    zi
    ng.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,t
    her
    e’snot
    hing.
    ”
    Me:
    “Howcany
    ounotheari
    t?Unl
    ess?OhGod,
    I‘
    mlosi
    ngmymi
    nd.
    ”

    Iexpr
    essi
    nfear
    ,hewi
    pest
    hedr
    ibsofsweatonmyf
    orehead.Ishr
    ughi
    shandagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Geti
    ttost
    op.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam asIcov
    ermyear
    s,hedoesn’
    tknowwhatt
    odo.Iseei
    tonhi
    sface,
    he’
    spani
    cki
    ng.

    Me:
    “AAHHH!
    !!
    ”

    Iscr
    eam,
    asanot
    herpai
    nsl
    i
    cesov
    ermywomb.

    Me:
    “Mybaby
    ,Ican’
    tlosemybaby
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Cal
    m downLel
    o,pl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyounotdoi
    ngany
    thi
    ng?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantmet
    odo?
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    sback,
    looki
    ngdef
    eat
    ed.

    Me:
    “Maket
    hatbabysoundst
    op,
    it’
    stor
    ment
    ingme.
    ”

    Ishoutandcl
    enchmyarmsaroundmystomach,
    thepai
    nistoomuch.Icannotl
    osethi
    sbaby,I
    havegrowntolov
    eit
    .Isendmyhandsbackonmyears,
    try
    ingtocl
    ogthecryi
    ngbabysound.

    Me:
    “Makei
    tst
    oppl
    ease.
    ”

    Ipl
    ead,myhandskeepgoi
    ngbackandf
    ort
    hbetweenmystomachandmyears.Mbusopr
    esses
    hi
    spalmsonmyear sasIgr
    abmystomach,t
    hepainf
    eel
    sli
    kestr
    ongper
    iodpains,
    onl
    ya
    hundr
    edti
    meswor se.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,t
    ell
    mewhatt
    odo.Ican’
    tst
    andt
    hisany
    mor
    e.”

    Hel
    ookshel
    pless.

    Me:
    “Doy
    oubel
    i
    evei
    nGod?
    ”

    Henodsswi
    ft
    ly.

    Me:
    “Thenpr
    ayf
    orme.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam.

    Hehasal
    i
    ghtbul
    bmoment
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Mymot
    her
    ,shegoest
    ochur
    ch.
    ”

    Heexpr
    essesasher
    ushest
    ogethi
    sphoneont
    heki
    tchencount
    er.

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    ther
    e’ssomet
    hingi
    nthi
    sroom.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    .Thisheav
    ypresenceisthesameastheoneIf
    elti
    nmydreams.Onlyt
    hist
    imei
    tfeel
    s
    morerealt
    hanany
    thing,hekneel
    sbefor
    emeashedi al
    sanumber.Hehasputt
    hephoneon
    l
    oudspeaker
    .

    Mom:
    “Mbuso?
    ”

    Shesoundswi
    deawake.

    Mbuso:“
    Mom, ther
    e’ssomethi
    ngwr
    ongwi
    thLel
    o.She’
    sinpai
    nandshe’
    shear
    ingt
    hings.It
    hink
    she’
    sunderaspir
    it
    ualatt
    ack.
    ”

    Heexpl
    ainsi
    napani
    ckyt
    one.

    Mom:
    “So,
    whatdoy
    ouwantmet
    odo?
    ”

    Icl
    enchmyt
    eet
    handgr
    oanasanot
    herexcr
    uci
    ati
    ngpai
    nhi
    tsme.

    Mbuso:
    “Pl
    easepr
    ayf
    orher
    .”

    Mom:
    “Doy
    ouknowwhatt
    imei
    tis,
    Mbuso?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Mom,
    she’
    spr
    egnantandshe’
    sbeendr
    eami
    ngofawomanaski
    ngf
    orherbaby
    .”

    Thi
    sishowwebr
    eakt
    henews,
    shei
    snotgoi
    ngt
    oli
    ket
    his.

    Mom:“I
    ni?Mbuso,uyahl
    any
    a?Sowuhambaumi
    thi
    sawena?
    ”(Ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?So,
    nowy
    ougo
    ar
    oundplant
    ingbabi
    es.)

    Sher
    aisesherv
    oice,
    thi
    sist
    hel
    eastofmywor
    ri
    esr
    ightnow.

    Me:
    “God,
    makei
    tst
    op.Pl
    easemaket
    hatsoundst
    op.Ican’
    ttakei
    tany
    mor
    e.”

    Ihowli
    nagony ,
    tossingandtur
    ningonthecol
    dfl
    oor.Thi
    scryofababyseemstobegett
    ing
    l
    ouderanditi
    ntensif
    iesthepai
    ninmywomb.Ihav eneverhadanabor
    ti
    onbut
    ,Iam sur
    ethi
    sis
    howitf
    eelsli
    ke.It
    ’sasifsomeoneispull
    i
    ngthef
    etusout.

    Mbuso:
    “Mom pl
    ease,
    notnow.Ineedy
    ou,
    ther
    eissomet
    hingi
    nthi
    shouseandIcanf
    eel
    itt
    oo.
    ”

    Hepl
    eadsdesper
    atel
    y,ashel
    ooksatmepi
    ti
    ful
    l
    y.

    Mom:
    “Okay
    ,putt
    hephoneonspeaker
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “It
    ’sonspeaker
    .”

    Mom: “Si
    si,wear
    egoi ngtopray.Ineedyoutoopenyourhear
    tandreceivethi
    sprayer,y
    ouhave
    t
    obelievewithal
    lyourheartandhav enodoubt
    s.Theenemyfeedsonf earanditsenseswhen
    you’
    redrenchedi
    nf ear.
    ”

    Sheexpl
    ains.

    Chil
    l
    srippl
    ethr
    oughmewhenIper
    cei
    vet
    hat
    ,ther
    eissomeoneoutt
    her
    e,whoi
    sreal
    l
    yaf
    termy
    baby.

    Inodvigor
    ousl
    y,asIcl
    enchmyey
    esduet
    othepai
    nonmybel
    l
    y.Godpl
    ease,
    letmybabybe
    okay.

    Mbuso:
    “Sheagr
    eesmom.
    ”
    Hespeaksonmybehal
    f.

    Mom:
    “Joi
    nhandsandpl
    acey
    ourhandonherwomb,
    weneedt
    ost
    andi
    nagr
    eement
    .”

    Het
    akesmyhandandpl
    acest
    heot
    heronmyst
    omach,
    Irestmyhandont
    opofhi
    s.

    Mom:“Fat
    herwecomebeforeYouint
    henameofYourSon,JesusChr
    ist
    .Wet
    hankYouLor
    d
    t
    haty
    ouareableandt
    her
    ei snot
    hingi
    mpossi
    blewi
    thyou.

    Whoel secanwet urnt obutYou, t


    heaut horandt hef i
    nisherofourf aith?FatherIbr ingy our
    belovedNombul elo,beforeYou.Fightf orherLord.Yourwor dsay s‘Ihav egi
    v eny ouaut horit
    yto
    tr
    ampl eunderser pentsandscor pi
    onsandal lofthepoweroft heenemyandnot hingshal lby
    anymeanshur ty ou.’Rightnowi nthenameofJesusChr istandwi ththisauthor i
    tyYouhav e
    bestoweduponusLor d,Icomeagai nstev er
    ywor ksofdar kness.Ispeakdeat hov erever y
    poweroft heenemy ,Ideclarei
    tpower l
    essandnul landv oid.Youev il
    andf oul spiri
    t,Icommand
    you,ri
    ghtnowt ol oosey ourgri
    pov erthischil
    dandgobackt ot hepi
    tsofhell wher ey oucame
    fr
    om.Youhav enor i
    ghtov erherandherchi l
    d, l
    ooseandl etgoi nthenameofJesus.Nombul el
    o
    Icoveryouwitht hebl oodofJesus, Ispeaklif
    eov ery ouandy ourbaby .Youshal lli
    veandnot
    die,i
    nthenameofJesus.Wet hanky ouLor dthatitisdone, inJesus’ namewepr ay.Amen. ”

    Mbuso:
    “Amen.
    ”

    Hedeclareswhi
    l
    eanxiousl
    ylooki
    ngatme,thesoundoft hebabycry
    ingstoppedwhenshe
    star
    tedcommandingandtheheavypr
    esenceseized.Thepainisst
    il
    lher
    ebut ,i
    t’
    sbear
    abl
    e.I
    canbreat
    henow.

    Mbuso:
    “Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”

    Hei
    nqui
    resashesi
    tsmeup.

    Mom:
    “Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    oumama,
    thepai
    nissubsi
    ding.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Andt
    hebabycr
    ying?Cany
    oust
    il
    lheari
    t?”

    Me:
    “No,
    it’
    sgone.
    ”

    Mom: “
    Mbuso,
    takeaglassofwat
    er.Pr
    ayov
    eri
    tandspr
    inkl
    ethewat
    eri
    nev
    eryr
    oom.Dot
    his,
    bef
    oreyougot
    obed.”

    Mbusohel
    psmet
    othecouch,
    whi
    l
    ehi
    smot
    hergi
    vesi
    nst
    ruct
    ions,
    heset
    tl
    esnextt
    ome.

    Mbuso:
    “Okay
    .”

    Mom:
    “Comeandseemet
    omor
    rownent
    ombi
    yakho.
    ”(Wi
    thy
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    )

    Weexchangegl
    ances,
    hesuddenl
    ylooksner
    vous.

    Mbuso:
    “Yesmom.
    ”

    Mom:
    “Ai
    Mbuso,
    nihambani
    j
    olanani
    .”(
    Yougoar
    ounddat
    ingwhoev
    er.
    )
    Mbusochor
    tl
    es,
    itmustbeaj
    oke.Iacceptasmi
    l
    e.

    Mom:
    “Ni
    l
    alekahl
    e.”(
    Goodni
    ght
    .)

    Mbuso:
    “Goodni
    ghtmom.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouagai
    n,mama.
    ”

    Shehangsup.

    Mbuso:
    “Youshoul
    dtakeabat
    h,bef
    oregoi
    ngt
    obed.
    ”

    Igi
    vehi
    m aweaksmi
    l
    e.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lwast
    hat
    ?”

    Mbuso:
    “Idon’
    tknowandIdon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwer
    ehear
    ingbut
    ,If
    eltsomet
    hingi
    nthi
    shouse.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wehav
    etoseekhel
    p,Iam notl
    osi
    ngmybabyMbuso.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Youwon’
    t,
    Gokui
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.Tomor
    rowaf
    terseei
    ngmom,
    we’
    l
    lgoseet
    hat
    pr
    ophet
    .”

    Inod,
    thenIr
    emember
    .

    Me:
    “It
    hinkIsawhert
    oday
    ,thewomani
    nmydr
    eams.She’
    smymot
    her
    ’sf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Hewel
    comesaconf
    usedexpr
    essi
    on.

    Mbuso:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    e?”

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    shecouldn’
    tlookmestr
    aighti
    ntheey
    e.If
    eltst
    rangewhenshet
    ouchedmybel
    l
    y,
    t
    hat
    ’swhentheuneasi
    nessbegan.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Real
    l
    yLelo?Thebumpisnotev
    envisi
    bley
    etandy
    oul
    etpeopl
    etouchy
    ourst
    omach.I
    t
    di
    dn’
    tcr
    ossyourmindthatmay
    besomethi
    ngisup?”

    Me:
    “Shecaughtmeof
    fguar
    dthatwi
    tch.Ihopeshe’
    sbur
    ningwher
    evershei
    s.”

    Mbuso:
    “Whatcanshepossi
    blywantf
    rom y
    ou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Beat
    sme.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    Mbuso:
    “Gobat
    h,whi
    l
    eIspr
    inkl
    ethewat
    er.Yousmel
    ll
    ikesweat
    .”

    Me:
    “Onl
    ynowy
    ounot
    ice.
    ”

    Hesni
    gger
    s.

    RANDALL*
    Oli
    vi
    aisbroughtdownandlai
    donthefl
    oor,
    herfacehastur
    nedi
    ntoasi
    ckeni
    ngcol
    our
    .Icheck
    herpul
    se,
    there’
    snothi
    ng.Shehasgonei
    ntocar
    diacarr
    est.

    Me:
    “Passmet
    hedef
    ibr
    il
    lat
    or.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ructt
    heguar
    d,hel
    eer
    satmei
    nconf
    usi
    on.

    Me:
    “Thatmachi
    neont
    het
    abl
    e.”

    Henodsandr
    ushest
    ogeti
    t,hehandsi
    tme.

    Iturnitonbypressingthegreenbut
    ton,Ipeel
    offthesti
    ckypadsandatt
    achthem oneachside
    ofherchest,af
    terteari
    nghershir
    toff.ImovebackasIwaitfort
    hedefi
    bri
    ll
    atort
    oshockher,it
    sendsamessaget hattheshockhasbeendeli
    vered.Ther
    earenosignsofl
    ifeso,Ir
    epeatt
    he
    process.

    Herchestexpandsali
    tt
    leasherbr
    eat
    hisbr
    oughtbacki
    ntoherbody
    .She’
    sweakandunabl
    eto
    openhereyesfull
    y.

    “
    What
    ’st
    hatf
    orboss?
    ”

    Theguar
    denqui
    res,
    asheobser
    vesmepr
    epar
    etheadr
    enal
    i
    n.

    Me:“Thisi
    smymagi cwand,thi
    sbabyri
    ghther
    ewill
    re-
    dir
    ectbloodtowar
    dsherhear
    tandher
    l
    ungs.Itwi
    llgetherbloodpumpingandgi
    veoxygentoherbrai
    n.Themomentitr
    eachesher
    hear
    t,t
    hehear twi
    llr
    ushoxygenatedbl
    oodtohermuscl
    es.”

    Iexpl
    ainwhi
    l
    eIi
    njectt
    headr
    enal
    i
    nint
    oherv
    eins.

    “
    So,
    you’
    rebr
    ingi
    ngherbackt
    oli
    fe?
    ”

    Hi
    svoi
    cei
    scov
    eredi
    nshock.

    Me:“Yes,t
    hisi
    sthecherr
    yont op,
    Iwi
    l
    lmaket
    hiswomant
    ast
    edeat
    handj
    ustassheembr
    aces
    i
    t,Iwi
    llbr
    ingherbackt
    olif
    e.”

    “
    Eishsaan.
    ”(Man.
    )

    Heexpr
    essesi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.

    Wi
    de-
    eyed,
    Oli
    vi
    ajol
    tsupr
    ightwi
    thagasp.Shei
    nst
    ant
    lygr
    ipsmyhand,
    herey
    esar
    eenf
    lamed.

    Me:
    “Wel
    comeback.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Pl
    easeRandal
    l
    .”

    Shecr
    ies,
    graspi
    ngt
    hepl
    anIhav
    eforher
    .

    Me:
    “Youwantt
    ogoagai
    n?That
    ’st
    hepl
    anany
    way
    .”

    Sheshakesherheadcr
    ying.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Don’
    t,
    please,
    rat
    herki
    l
    lmeonce.
    ”

    Ipushherof
    fofme.
    Me: “I
    ’
    m sorr
    ytobethebarri
    erofbadnewsOlivi
    abut,
    deat
    hwil
    lnev
    erf
    indyou.Notanyt
    ime
    soonany way,
    youwilll
    ookfori
    t.Youwil
    lcr
    avefori
    tandwhenyout
    ast
    eit,
    Iwill
    jol
    tyoubackt
    o
    l
    ife.Thankst
    ot hi
    sli
    tt
    lepar
    tnerofmineher
    e.”

    Ihol
    dupt
    hedef
    ibr
    il
    lat
    or,
    shegl
    aresati
    twi
    thherey
    espoppedout
    .

    Me:
    “Technol
    ogyi
    sabi
    tch,
    isn’
    tit
    ?”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “You’
    reev
    il
    .”

    Shescr
    eamsi
    nmyf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Keept
    hei
    nsul
    tscomi
    ng,
    theywon’
    tchangey
    oursi
    tuat
    ion.
    ”

    Igetupandambl
    etowar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Me:“
    OhbythewayOl
    i
    via,
    sincey
    oul
    i
    kedr
    ugssomuch.Myf
    ri
    endher
    e,wi
    l
    lsuppl
    yyouwi
    thas
    muchasy
    oulike.
    ”

    Herj
    awdr
    ops,
    Ithi
    nkIj
    ustbr
    oughtChr
    ist
    masr
    ightatherdoorst
    ep.

    Il
    eeratt
    heguar
    dandhenods.

    Me:
    “Met
    hamphet
    ami
    neandcocai
    ne,
    thesear
    ethedeadl
    i
    est
    .Whi
    chonedi
    dyouf
    eedmybaby
    ?”

    Shedr
    opsherheadi
    nshame.

    Me:“Okay,pi
    ctur
    et hi
    sOl
    iv
    ia.Cardi
    acdamage-elev
    atedhear
    trat
    e,conv
    ulsi
    on,
    str
    okeandev
    en
    aheartat
    tack.Thesetwodrugsarethedev
    ilhi
    mself.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Iwon’
    ttaket
    hem.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    thav
    eachoi
    ce,
    real
    l
    y.Thi
    sgent
    lemanwi
    l
    lpumpt
    hem i
    nyoursy
    stem.
    ”

    Sheshakesherheadi
    ndi
    sagr
    eement
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Me:
    “Gr
    eat
    ,Iknewy
    ouwoul
    dlov
    ethegameofl
    i
    feanddeat
    h.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Hav
    emer
    cyonmepl
    ease,
    letmeat
    onef
    ormysi
    ns.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lseey
    ounextt
    ime,
    weneedt
    ocont
    inuewi
    thourl
    essons.
    ”

    Shescr
    eam cr
    ies,
    asIexi
    tthedoor
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    BEAUTYTAMESTHEBEAST*

    72*

    AMARA*

    Ijer
    kupf r
    om mysl eepasifIhadforgot
    tensomethi
    ng,
    onl
    ytoreal
    i
    zethat
    ,If
    ell
    asl
    eepwai
    ting
    forRandal
    l.Hisbedsidei
    sempt y,
    Ileeratt
    heclockont
    hebedsi
    detabl
    easItur
    nonthesi
    de
    l
    amp.I t
    ’s3:30am.

    Maybehe’
    ssleepi
    nginhisr
    oom,Isti
    ll
    can’
    tbr
    ingmy
    sel
    fint
    oent
    eri
    ngt
    hatr
    oom.Icanst
    il
    lsee
    t
    hatman’sdeadbodyly
    ingonthefl
    oor.

    AsIj
    umpof
    fthebed,
    Iseehi
    m.He’
    ssi
    tt
    ingi
    nthebal
    cony
    .

    I
    t’
    scol
    dout
    side.Whyi
    shesi
    tt
    ingt
    her
    e?

    Itoddlet
    hereandopenthedoor
    ,hetur
    ns.He’
    ssmoki
    ng,Ihaveneverseenhim smokebef
    ore
    but,Ihav
    esmel tt
    heni
    coti
    neonhim.Hepressest
    heci
    garet
    teontheasht r
    ay.Iwatchi
    tasthe
    smokedi esdown.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Hegetsup,he’
    swear i
    ngthatusualfr
    ownonhi
    sface.Het
    akesmyhandint
    ohisandpul
    lsmeto
    hi
    m.Thestrongsmellofnicoti
    nehit
    smynostr
    il
    s,i
    t’
    safamil
    i
    arsmel
    lbut
    ,Ihav
    eneversmelti
    t
    sost
    rongl
    ybefore.Todayit’
    snauseati
    ng.

    I
    ’m abl
    etoconquerthestomach-
    tur
    ningf
    eel
    ingasIrestmyheadonhi
    schest
    ,Icanheart
    he
    beati
    ngofhi
    sheart.It
    ’sf
    orcef
    ull
    ypoundi
    ngagai
    nsthischest
    .

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Thisthi
    ngwithLi
    yanamusthavehi
    thim har
    d,Ihav
    enot i
    cedhowhet
    reat
    sherl
    i
    kesomet
    hing
    thatwouldcr
    ackthemomentitdr
    ops.Heissosensit
    ivewit
    hher.

    Imov
    eoutofhi
    sar
    ms,
    whenhedoesn’
    trespond.

    Hedoesn’tl
    ookdi
    rect
    lyatmebut
    ,takesasitandpul
    l
    smet osi
    tonhisl
    ap.Iputmyar
    m over
    hi
    sshoulders,
    ashi
    slargear
    mscir
    clearoundmywaist,
    heburi
    eshi
    sheadonmychestandwe
    si
    tther
    ewi t
    hnowordssaid.

    I
    t’
    scoldouther e,
    thisbodyheatisnothel
    ping.Wemi ghtaswell
    besitt
    inginthefreezer.Iwant
    t
    otellhi
    m but,Isensehe’semotional
    andpr obabl
    y,t
    hishel
    pshim.Hiscoldhandsgl i
    deunder
    mynightwearandt heysettl
    eonmyst omach,hist
    ouchalwaysmakesmeshi v er
    .Her eachesup
    t
    okissmyneckandgr azeshisl
    i
    psdownt omycol l
    arbone,heplant
    saf ewsoftkissesthere.

    Idon’
    tknowwhathe’
    sthi
    nki
    ngorwhathewant
    s,butt
    hisgest
    urehasmybodyt
    rembl
    i
    ng.
    Il
    ookathi m andherai
    seshisheadt ogazeatmer aptl
    y.Hepul
    l
    smyf acecl
    oserandhisl
    i
    ps
    brushonmi ne.Notateaserbut,passionateanddemandingwhatheknowstobehis.I
    ’
    m
    al
    readylostinhisembrace.Mysensesar eonvacati
    onatthi
    spoint
    ,asmybrai
    nhasshutthem
    down,compel l
    ingmenott othi
    nkst r
    aight.

    Thi
    smanisnottal
    kat
    ive,
    Ihavecometofi
    ndthathespeakswit
    hhi
    sheart
    .Thi
    sslowandsoft
    ki
    ssisf
    ull
    ofpr
    omises,hewantsthi
    sandIhaveneverf
    eltmor
    ewantedi
    nmylif
    e,thanatt
    his
    moment.

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a.”

    Hewhisper
    ssl
    owly
    ,eachl
    ett
    erli
    nger
    ingunderhisbr
    eathasi ft
    osav ort
    hemoment .Inuzzl
    ehi
    s
    cheekonmyhandandwebreakapar
    tforai
    r,Ishi
    ftf
    rom hislapasheget sup.It
    hinkIknow
    whathisey
    esar
    esayi
    ngtome,hetakesmyhandandl eisurel
    yleadsmebacki nt
    ot hebedroom.

    Ibar
    elyhav
    et i
    metoreact
    ,bef
    oreher
    amshi
    sli
    psonmi
    ne,
    hav
    ingmegasp,
    ast
    hebr
    eat
    hfr
    om
    mylungsascends.

    Igul
    p,whi
    l
    ewatchi
    nghi
    m st
    ri
    poffhi
    st-
    shi
    rt
    ,hi
    shandsdr
    opt
    omyhi
    psandhepul
    l
    smet
    ohi
    m
    andmypalmsf
    allonhi
    sbar
    echest.

    Hesnuggl
    eshi
    sfaceonmyneck,dr
    oppi
    ngwetkissesandl
    eadshisli
    pstomine,
    Ilockmy
    handsar
    oundhi
    sneck,
    feebl
    ypul
    l
    inghi
    m down.Hehasmei nthatheat
    edki
    ssinasecond.

    Gent
    ly,
    hepushesagainstme.I
    ’
    mly
    ingont
    hebed,
    onmybacki
    nani
    nst
    ant
    ,wi
    tht
    hewei
    ghtof
    hi
    sbodytender
    lyhol
    dingmedown.

    I’
    m overwhelmedbyhi sinsat
    iabl
    eappet i
    te,
    ashishandsmapev er
    ypartofme.Hist
    ongue
    pushesagai nstt
    her
    idgeofmyl i
    ps,si
    nkingitswayi
    nt omymouth.He’
    sgrindi
    ngonmel ei
    sur
    ely
    andmymi ndcompletelyshutsoffasIlosemysanity.Arushofwarmt
    hf i
    l
    lsmyheadand
    spreadsthroughmybodyi naminiat
    ure.Itr
    ailmyfi
    ngersupanddownhisspinei
    nacircul
    ar
    mot i
    on,

    Icannotr
    ecal
    lat
    imewhenheki
    ssedmewi
    thouthi
    stonguecl
    aimi
    ngmi
    ne.

    Hi
    skissisnotscri
    ptedl
    i
    kethoseoft
    elenovel
    asbut,dr
    enchedini
    tsownsizzl
    ingpassi
    on.I
    ttel
    l
    s
    hi
    sstoryt
    hat,t
    hisiswhoheis,i
    mper
    fect.Heisnotarobotoradupl
    icat
    eofthoseromanti
    c
    i
    dols.

    Hi
    sli
    psdepartf
    rom mi
    ne,leav
    ingi
    tsmemor
    ybehi
    ndandanumbnessf
    rom t
    hatr
    avenouski
    ss.
    I
    nsoli
    tt
    leti
    methishasbecomemyobsessi
    on,
    Icanhar
    dlybr
    eat
    hewhenheisar
    oundme.

    Ishiv
    erathissmi r
    kandmyeyesshyawayf rom hisi
    ntensegaze.Iraisemyhandsashest ri
    ps
    offmyclothi
    ng,leavi
    ngmebare,wit
    hjustanundergarmenton.Thisisasi ghtthathasonl
    y
    beenexposedtomeandhav i
    nghi mleeri
    ngatmewi t
    hthoseheavy-li
    ddedey es,causesmeto
    gli
    demyar m overmybust
    .It
    ’sthatl
    ookandt hatsmirkonhisfacethat,hasbirthedthi
    ssudden
    shyness.Hetakesmyhandaway ,r
    eveali
    ngmybr easts.

    Ashudderhi
    tsmewhenhegoesont
    obi
    temyneckandIy
    api
    npai
    nandpl
    easur
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“Di
    dyoul
    i
    ket
    hat
    ,mehemma?
    ”(Myqueen.
    )
    Hewhi
    sper
    sandIshi
    veratt
    hesat
    isf
    yingwav
    eofchi
    l
    ls,
    rushi
    ngt
    hroughmybody
    .

    Hegrazeshi
    slipsdownt omybust,mybodytr
    emblesuncont r
    oll
    ablyunderhi
    m, ashiswar
    m
    br
    eathfansmychestandt hewarmthofhi
    stonguetastemybr east.Hesl
    uggishl
    yl i
    cksmy
    br
    eastandIgrabhisshoulderwhi
    mperi
    nginpl
    easure,Iam notpreparedfort
    his,Isear
    chf
    ort
    he
    ur
    getopushawaybut ,can’tf
    indi
    t.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Iwhisper,
    att hef eel
    ofhishandonmyhi p.Igul
    pashegripsmyunder wearsl
    owly,pushingit
    down.I’m compl etel
    yexposed,Iraisemyheadt oseehimt racehislipsdowntomybel ly.He
    gradual
    lycircl
    eshi swarmt onguear oundmybel l
    ybut
    tonandIf eelatickl
    i
    shsensat
    ioninmy
    stomach.Her aiseshiseyesandgi vesmeasmi r
    kbef
    ore,continuingtodrawthewetcircles
    aroundmybel lybut t
    on.Myheadf all
    sbackandIam declaredpower less.

    Hegent
    lyi
    nser
    tsaf i
    ngeri
    nsideme,Iwi
    nceinpai
    npressi
    ngmythi
    ghstoget
    her.Ir
    aisemyhead
    t
    omeetthesoftscowlonhisface,
    thel
    ust
    full
    ookinhi
    seyescompel
    met odropmyheadback.

    Hecont
    inuestogent
    lypushhi
    sfi
    ngeri
    nsi
    deme,Icl
    enchmyeyesatt
    heuncomf
    ort
    ablefeel
    ing
    whi
    chvanishest
    hemomenthebeginsj
    olt
    inghi
    sfi
    ngeri
    nandoutofme.Wi
    thhi
    sotherhandhe
    r
    ubsmyabdomen.

    Heli
    ghtlybit
    esandnibblestheski
    nonmyst omachbeforehepr
    esseshi
    stongueinmybel
    l
    y
    but
    ton.Ilosemymi ndinthi
    seuphori
    csensati
    onandthetoecurl
    i
    ngexper
    ience,
    ashemoves
    hi
    sfingeraroundandaddsanotherone.Ibi
    temylowerli
    pbefor
    ealoudmoanescapesmy
    mouthashi sthr
    ustsi
    ncrease.

    Herubshishandar
    oundmybell
    ybutt
    onli
    kehe’
    smassagi
    ngme,
    I’
    m ar
    ousedbyt
    hismot
    ion
    andIfeel
    myabdomi nal
    muscl
    escont
    ract
    .

    Myorgasm engulf
    sme, forci
    ngascream t
    oeruptfr
    om mymout h,myvisi
    ondimsabi
    tdueto
    somuchpleasure.Ir
    aisemyheadt olookupathim andfi
    ndhim st
    ari
    ngwithasmi
    rkembraci
    ng
    hi
    sface.Hebringshi
    msel fupandtakesmeintoanwolfykiss

    MBUSO*

    Ist
    ri
    dei
    ntot
    hebedr
    oom,
    tomeetLel
    osi
    tt
    ingup.Shesmi
    l
    esasourey
    esmeet
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    rest
    il
    lal
    i
    ve?
    ”

    It
    ease,
    set
    tl
    ingont
    heedgeoft
    hebedandsher
    espondswi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Thi
    swomangav
    emesuchaf
    ri
    ghtl
    astni
    ght
    ,Ihav
    enev
    erf
    eltsohel
    plessi
    nmyl
    i
    fe.

    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    m st
    il
    lal
    i
    ve.
    ”
    Me:
    “Ey
    ,Gener
    ati
    onshadnot
    hingony
    ou,
    idr
    amasi
    si.
    ”(Youwer
    esodr
    amat
    ic.
    )

    Sheshakesherhead,
    smi
    l
    ing.

    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    m st
    il
    lcr
    eepedouty
    ouknow.Howcanpeopl
    ebesoev
    il
    ?”

    Me:
    “It
    ’ssad.Di
    dyousl
    eepwel
    lthough?
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    es,
    genui
    nel
    y.

    Lel
    o:“
    Likeababy
    .”

    Me:
    “We’
    l
    lgot
    othehospi
    tal
    ,bef
    oregoi
    ngt
    omymom’
    s.Thenl
    ater
    ,we’
    l
    lgoseet
    hepr
    ophet
    .”

    Lel
    o:“
    Whyt
    hehospi
    tal
    ?I’
    mfi
    ne.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ij
    ustwantt
    oseei
    fGokui
    sst
    il
    lcr
    avi
    ngf
    ri
    edf
    ish.
    ”

    Shedr
    opsi
    ntol
    aught
    er.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youhav
    edef
    eat
    edmewi
    tht
    hisname.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    oldy
    ou,
    I'
    m st
    icki
    ngt
    oit
    .”

    Lel
    o:“
    Luckyme.
    ”

    Sher
    ipost
    es,
    assher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Me:“
    Youknowi
    fIwaspai
    dat
    housandeacht
    imey
    our
    oll
    edy
    ourey
    es,
    Iwoul
    dbear
    ichmanby
    now.
    ”

    Ispewt
    hewor
    dsout
    ,causi
    nghert
    olaugh.

    Lel
    o:“
    It
    ’sbet
    tert
    hanswear
    ing,
    don’
    tyout
    hink?
    ”

    Thi
    sgi
    rlt
    hough.

    Me:“
    Iwoul
    dn’tknow,ont
    herealt
    hough.I’
    m gl
    adyou’
    reokay,
    yougavemeafr
    ightl
    astni
    ght
    .
    WhatwasIgoingtosayt
    oyourparent
    sifsomethi
    nghadhappenedt
    oyou?
    ”

    Herf
    acechangest
    othatofsadness.

    Lel
    o:“
    Bel
    i
    eveme,
    mypar
    ent
    shav
    ebet
    tert
    hingst
    owor
    ryabout
    .”

    Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hat
    ,itneedst
    ochange.

    Me:
    “Gi
    vet
    hem t
    ime,
    theywi
    l
    lcomear
    oundev
    ent
    ual
    l
    y.”

    Shenods.

    Lel
    o:“
    Letmebat
    hso,
    wegetgoi
    ng.Doy
    out
    hinkIshoul
    dbr
    ingsomet
    hingf
    ory
    ourmom?
    ”

    Me:
    “Li
    ke?
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Idon’
    tknow,
    wine?That
    ’swhatt
    heydoonTVr
    ight
    .”
    Me:
    “It
    ’snotdat
    emyf
    ami
    l
    y,shej
    ustwant
    stot
    alk.
    ”

    Myr
    etor
    thasherl
    aughi
    ngoutl
    oud.

    Lel
    o:“Hopef
    ull
    y,Idoubtshe’
    l
    lbet
    hri
    l
    ledt
    oknowt
    haty
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iendi
    spr
    egnantwi
    thanot
    her
    man’schi
    ld.
    ”

    Knowi
    ngmymom,
    shemi
    ghtwantt
    odi
    smi
    sst
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.

    Me:
    “We’
    readul
    ts,
    shehasnosayi
    nthi
    s.”

    Lel
    o:“DoyouknowAf
    ri
    canmoms?Theycanbeaspeci
    alki
    ndofcr
    azywheni
    tcomest
    othei
    r
    bel
    ovedsons.
    ”

    Tr
    ue.

    Mymom canbeal
    i
    ttl
    etoocont
    rol
    l
    ingandobsessi
    vesomet
    imes.

    Lel
    o:“
    Lel
    o0andNomasont
    o1.
    ”

    Shemocks.

    Me:
    “YoumeanLel
    o100andNomasont
    omi
    nuszer
    o.”

    Ir
    efuset
    oletherdr
    ownov
    ert
    his,
    shesmi
    l
    esandl
    eansov
    ert
    opeckmyl
    i
    ps.

    Lel
    o:“
    Thanky
    ouf
    orbei
    ngmycr
    utch.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ouch!
    !!Acr
    utch,
    real
    l
    y?Thi
    siswhatIhav
    ebecome?
    ”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Lel
    o:“
    You’
    remysuppor
    terhau,
    andIappr
    eci
    ateev
    ery
    thi
    ngy
    oudof
    orme.
    ”

    We’
    reget
    ti
    ngdeep.

    Me:
    “And,
    Iwi
    l
    lcont
    inuet
    odomor
    e,i
    fyoukeept
    hosechubbycheeks.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Me:
    “And,
    ify
    oust
    opr
    oll
    i
    ngt
    hoseey
    es.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Ai,
    let
    ’sl
    eav
    eitt
    hen.
    ”

    Shej
    umpsof
    fthebedwi
    thagi
    ggl
    e.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappeny
    ouknow?
    ”

    Iut
    terasshest
    epsoutoft
    hebedr
    oom.

    Lel
    o:“
    Nev
    er.
    ”

    Shehol
    l
    ersback.Imi
    ghtbesmi
    tt
    en.
    STYLES*

    I
    t’
    smi
    ddayandhopef
    ull
    yKet
    hui
    sgone,
    Dladl
    ahadsai
    dhewasgoi
    ngt
    ofet
    chher
    .Ihopehedi
    d.

    Khethul
    eftt
    hegat
    ewi
    deopen,
    shewaspr
    obabl
    yangr
    y.Idon’
    tbl
    amehert
    hough,
    Ithi
    nkIwas
    rat
    herhar
    donher.

    Iduckasabr
    ickhi
    tst
    hewi
    ndshi
    eldofmycar
    ,jol
    ti
    ngmebackt
    oreal
    i
    ty.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    l
    ?”

    Icusswhenmyey esf all


    onKhet hu,she’
    sstandingi
    nfrontofthecarwithabasebal
    lbati
    nher
    hand.She’
    ssti
    ll
    wearingy est
    erday
    ’sclot
    hes,j
    eansandashi rt
    .Herhairi
    sallmessedup.Al
    l
    thoughhar
    dtomai nt
    ai n,thi
    swomanhasal wayskepthercrownneat.Idon’
    tknowwhatison
    hermindbut,
    Idon’tl
    iket helookinhereyes.

    Whyi
    sshest
    il
    lher
    e?

    Sheswi
    ngsthebat,hi
    tt
    ingt
    hebonnetoft
    hecar
    .Sher
    unst
    omysi
    deandsmashest
    hewi
    ndow,
    l
    eavi
    ngabigcrack.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Getoutoft
    hecarSt
    yles.
    ”

    Shescreams,asshebashesmycarwit
    hthebat
    ,thewi
    ndshi
    eldr
    ecei
    vest
    womor
    ebl
    ows.The
    bonnetisdent
    ed,shehascompl
    etel
    ydest
    roy
    edit
    .

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Ihowl
    ather
    ,shecan’
    thearmeduet
    oherscr
    eams.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Yout
    hinky
    oucanusemeandt
    hrowmeawayl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”

    Shey el
    l
    sbashingthecaroncemore.SuddenlyIhearaloudscreechi
    ngsoundofacar.It
    l
    urchesinfull
    speedasitparksi
    nfrontofmine,i
    t’
    sRandallandNeoi swi
    thhim.Hefuri
    ousl
    y
    dashesoutofthecarandchargestowardsKhethu,f
    earisvi
    sibl
    einhereyesasshestagger
    s
    back.KnowingRandal
    lhe’snotgoi
    ngtohavemer cyonher.

    Hesnatchest
    hebasebal
    lbatfr
    om herandt
    ossesitt
    ot hesi
    de,myjawdropswhenonehard
    sl
    apsendsKhethuf
    lyi
    ng.Thatl
    ookonRandall
    ’
    sface,Isawitthedayheatt
    ackedNkomofor
    assaul
    ti
    ngAmara.

    Hechar gesheragai n,
    shescootsback,
    usingherhandsandl egs.Ihav
    enev erseensuchf eari
    n
    herey es,Khet
    huwi ncesi
    npainasRandallgrabsherbythehairandbeginsdraggingher
    towardst hehouse.Shehasherhandsgriptonhiswrist
    ,tr
    yingtogethim of
    fofher .Atthis
    pointI’m out
    sidethecar,
    standi
    ngnexttoNeowhohashi shandsonhi sheadandwat chingthi
    s
    unfoldwi thwonderandshock.

    Neo:
    “St
    ylos,
    ogaot
    lobhodi
    samedi
    eahao.Most
    ope.
    ”(Bosswi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend,
    stophi
    m.)
    I
    t’
    smi dday
    ,thenei
    ghbour
    sareatwor
    kandt
    hest
    reet
    sar
    eempt
    y.Thesenei
    ghbour
    sar
    etoo
    nosy
    ,someonemi ghtbewat
    chi
    ngthr
    ought
    hewi
    ndow.

    I
    tpuzzl
    esmet
    hat
    ,Khet
    hui
    snotscr
    eami
    ng,
    onl
    ysi
    l
    entcr
    iesl
    eav
    ehermout
    h.

    Me:
    “Randy
    ?”

    Iy
    ell
    ,rushi
    ngaf
    tert
    hem,
    hel
    ugshert
    othebacky
    ard.

    Me:
    “Randal
    lst
    op.
    ”

    Icommand.

    Hepaysnoheedtome,Khet
    huisintear
    sandbloodisl
    eaki
    ngfr
    om hermouth,f
    rom t
    hatsl
    ap
    hegav
    eher.Hepull
    sherupandsendsanot
    herslapontheot
    hercheekandi
    tthr
    owsherdown.

    Ij
    umpi
    nfr
    ontofhi
    m whenheat
    tempt
    stogr
    abherhai
    ragai
    n.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?She’
    sawoman,
    youcoul
    dgetar
    rest
    ed.
    ”

    Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hel
    ooki
    nhi
    sey
    es,
    hegr
    imacesatmeandgr
    owl
    s.

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyoucal
    m downRandal
    l
    ?”

    Il
    ookatKhet
    huwhoi sonthefl
    oorwit
    hherheadbowed,
    she’
    ssni
    vel
    l
    ing.Iwoul
    dthi
    nkshe
    woul
    dbebowlinghereyesoutaf
    tert
    hosesl
    aps.

    Randal
    lpushesmeasi
    deagai
    nandat
    tempt
    stogr
    abher
    ,Neoj
    umpsonhi
    m andpul
    l
    shi
    m back.

    Randal
    l
    :“Getof
    fme.
    ”

    Hegr
    oans,
    ashepushesNeo.

    Randal
    l
    :“Nextt
    imey
    oudar
    edot
    hatt
    omybr
    other
    ,Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyou.
    ”

    Hequi
    etl
    ygr
    unt
    satherbef
    ore,
    mar
    chi
    ngt
    othehouse.

    Me:
    “Neof
    oll
    owhi
    m,Iwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    eSt
    ylos?
    ”

    I
    tdoesn’
    tlookl
    i
    kehet
    rust
    sher
    .

    Me:
    “Justgo.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Ifyoudieatt
    hehandsofawoman,Iwil
    lnotbecomi
    ngt
    oyourf
    uner
    al.Yourobi
    tuar
    ywi
    l
    l
    beenoughformetopaymylastr
    espect
    s.”

    Hest
    ateswhi
    l
    egl
    ari
    ngatKhet
    hu,
    Ithoughthehadacr
    ushonher
    .

    Me:
    “Neo…”

    Neo:
    “Hai!
    !LewenaSty
    los,
    oratanal
    elehl
    any
    a?Phel
    aTshi
    dioso.
    ”(You’
    redat
    ingacr
    azy
    woman,Tshi
    dii
    salsol
    iket
    his.
    )
    Her
    etor
    tswhi
    l
    e,Ihel
    pKhet
    hugetup.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Shedoesn’tr
    espond,onl
    yhertear
    sspeakf
    orher
    .Neoi
    sgi
    vi
    ngherawei
    rdl
    ookwhi
    l
    ehe
    scr
    uti
    nizesherfr
    om headtotoe.

    Neo:
    “So,
    beaut
    if
    ulgi
    rl
    sar
    ecr
    azyv
    ele?NnaIwon’
    tdi
    eforabeaut
    if
    ulgi
    rl
    ,St
    ylos.
    ”

    Somet
    imesIf
    orgett
    hathenev
    erst
    ops.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Pi
    ssof
    fNeo.
    ”

    Sheshout
    sathi
    m.

    Okay
    …

    Neo:
    “Yoh,
    aski
    es.Shar
    pSt
    ylos.
    ”(Sor
    ry,
    byeSt
    yles.
    )

    Hehur
    ri
    esi
    ntot
    hehouse.

    Shepushesmeof
    fthemomenthe’
    soutofsi
    ght
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youseewhaty
    ourf
    ri
    enddi
    dtomeSt
    yles.
    ”

    Shey
    ell
    s.

    Me:
    “Whataboutwhaty
    oudi
    dKhet
    hu?Whatt
    hehel
    lwast
    hat
    ?”

    Shewear
    saf
    rown.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Youdi
    dn’
    tsl
    eepathomeandy
    ouwer
    enott
    aki
    ngmycal
    l
    s.Whatdi
    dyouexpectmet
    o
    do?”

    Thi
    sgi
    rlhasl
    osthermi
    nd.

    Me:
    “Ser
    iousl
    y?Whatpar
    tofi
    t’
    sov
    er,
    don’
    tyouunder
    stand?
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Idon’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouSt
    yles,
    youl
    ovemet
    oomucht
    oletmego.
    ”

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu,
    Idon’
    twanty
    ouany
    mor
    e,y
    ouneedt
    ogobackhome.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iknowy
    ou’
    reangr
    ySt
    ylesandImessedupbut
    ,wecanf
    ixt
    his.Wecanf
    ixus,
    please.
    ”

    Shepast
    esherhandonmychestandl
    eansupt
    opeckmyl
    i
    ps,
    Ishi
    ftbackbef
    oreherl
    i
    pscoul
    d
    brushmi
    ne.

    Me: “
    Thi
    scannotbefi
    xedanymore,
    ther
    ewasatimewhenIpl
    eadedwit
    hyouKhet
    hut
    hatwef
    ix
    us.Iwasdesper
    ateandneededy
    oubut,youwer
    etoosel
    fi
    sht
    ounderst
    and.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylespl
    ease…”

    Shewr
    apsherar
    msar
    oundmywai
    st.

    “
    Gety
    ourf
    il
    thyhandsof
    fofhi
    m.”
    Randal
    lgr
    unt
    sfr
    om behi
    nd,It
    urnt
    omeethisscowl
    edface.He’
    sstandi
    ngwi
    thhi
    shands
    rammedinhi
    spocket
    s.Khet
    huqui
    ckl
    ypul
    lsawayandstepsback.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,I’
    vegott
    his.
    ”

    Heambl
    est
    owar
    dsus.

    Randal
    l
    :“That
    ’snotwhati
    tlooksl
    i
    ke,
    from wher
    eI’
    m st
    andi
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam notachi
    l
    d.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Iam st
    il
    lol
    dert
    hany
    ouso,
    thatmeansIcanchast
    isey
    oui
    fyou’
    ret
    readi
    ngont
    he
    wrongpath.
    ”

    Hecanbeannoy
    ingsomet
    imes.

    Khet
    hu:
    “YouseeSt
    yles?Thi
    siswhatIwast
    alki
    ngabout
    ,hewant
    syout
    obehi
    srobot
    .”

    Thi
    sdoesn’
    tev
    enmakesense.

    Randal
    lgl
    ower
    sather
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Youneedt
    ogety
    ourshi
    tandgetoutoft
    hishouse.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Randy
    ,I’
    vegott
    his.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Si
    si,
    let
    ’sgo.Iwantt
    oseey
    oupackandIwi
    l
    lper
    sonal
    l
    yseey
    ouout
    .”

    Thi
    smancanbesost
    ubbor
    n.

    Me:
    “Randal
    lwoul
    dyoust
    op.
    ”

    Whyi
    shesoangr
    y?

    Randall
    :“I
    fIl
    etthi
    sgo, t
    hiswomanwill
    wakeupinyourbedtomorrowmorni
    ng.Sheusedtobe
    yourweakness,
    remember ?Khet
    huknowswhichbutt
    onstopress,
    togety
    out odowhatshe
    wants.Whoknows, shemightev
    enstabyoui
    nyoursleep.
    ”

    Heexpr
    esses,Khet
    huseemst
    ooaf
    rai
    dtospeak.Idon’
    tunder
    stand,
    she’
    snev
    erbeent
    hisqui
    et
    i
    nRandall
    ’
    spresence.

    Neo:
    “Isi
    tsaf
    etocomeout
    ?”

    Hepeekst
    hrought
    hedoor
    ,Khet
    hur
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hey
    ,let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Hegrabsherar
    m andl
    ugsheri
    ntot
    hehouse,
    Isi
    ghandf
    oll
    owt
    hem i
    n.Randal
    lcanbeso
    st
    ubborn.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    73*

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbuso’smothercanpray,Ihavet ogiv
    ehert hat.But,
    thewomani snotki
    nd.Youwoul dthi
    nk,
    therear
    etwodiff
    erentpeople.Thelookshei sgivingmer i
    ghtnow,i
    fIcoul
    dhide,Iwould.We’r
    e
    i
    nt hesi
    tti
    ngr
    oom, Mbusoi ssitt
    ingbesideme, he’sholdi
    ngmyhandandIdon’ tknowwhy .Iam
    alr
    eadyuncomfort
    ablewithhismot her,gl
    ari
    ngatmel i
    keIwanttotakeawayherf av
    ouri
    tetoy.

    Mom:
    “Ist
    her
    ear
    easont
    ohol
    dhands?Shei
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e,unf
    ort
    unat
    ely
    .”

    Idon’
    tknowwhatshemeansbyt
    hat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    s,i
    sfi
    nemom.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    Itr
    ypul
    l
    ingmyhandbut
    ,hi
    sgr
    ipi
    stoost
    rong.

    I
    ’
    m exper
    ienci
    nghi
    sst
    ubbor
    nnessf
    ort
    hef
    ir
    stt
    ime.

    Mom:
    “Mmhhh,
    awushoMbuso.Whati
    sther
    ush?Whydi
    dyougetherpr
    egnant
    ?”(
    Tel
    lme.
    )

    St
    rai
    ghtt
    othepoi
    nt,
    Isee.

    Mbuso:
    “Mom t
    hisi
    sbet
    weenLel
    oandI
    ,i
    t’
    sourpr
    ivat
    emat
    ter
    .”

    Mom:
    “Yourpr
    ivat
    emat
    ter
    ?Ist
    hishowy
    out
    alkt
    omenow?
    ”

    Hedi
    dn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngwr
    ong.

    Me:
    “Mama,
    hedi
    dn’
    tmeani
    tli
    ke…”

    Mom:
    “Iwasn’
    ttal
    ki
    ngt
    oyount
    ombazane.
    ”(Gi
    rl
    .)

    Okay
    …

    Mbuso:
    “May
    beweshoul
    dgo,
    seei
    ngt
    hatwear
    enotwant
    edher
    e.”

    Hesuggest
    s.IhopeMbusodoesn’
    tcausedrama,Idon’
    twanttobethatgi
    rl
    fr
    iend,
    theonewho
    hasbeefwi
    thherboy
    fri
    end’
    smother.Myli
    feiscompli
    catedenough.

    Hegetsup,
    pul
    l
    ingmewi
    thhi
    m.Ist
    if
    fenmybody
    ,I’
    m notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.Hemustspeakt
    ohi
    s
    mother
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yourmot
    heri
    snotdone,
    Mbuso.
    ”

    Ipl
    eadwi
    thmyey
    es,
    hef
    rowns,
    sighsandsi
    tsbackdown.

    Mom:
    “Mbuso,
    youar
    ebei
    ngcont
    rol
    l
    edbyawomannow.
    ”
    May
    beweshoul
    dgo.

    Mbuso:
    “Mom,
    wil
    lyoust
    op,
    please?Yousai
    dyouwant
    edt
    oseeus,
    right
    ?We’
    reher
    enow.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m al
    soannoy
    edbyher
    .

    Shecacklesandcl
    apsonce,
    Ihav
    enoi
    deawhatt
    hatmot
    ionmeans.Shedoesn’
    tli
    keme,
    though.

    Mom: “
    IspoketoZodwa,
    she’
    sapr
    ophet
    essatmychur
    ch.It
    oldherabouty
    ouri
    ssueandasked
    hert
    ocomeov er.
    ”

    That
    ’sni
    ceofher
    ,may
    beshe’
    snotsobad.

    Me:
    “Si
    yabongama.
    ”(Thanky
    ou.
    )

    Shescr
    uti
    nizesme,
    bef
    orer
    oll
    i
    ngherey
    es.

    Mom:
    “I’
    m doi
    ngt
    hisf
    ormyson,
    Idon’
    twanty
    ourdemonsf
    oll
    owi
    nghi
    m.”

    Shesay
    sIhav
    edemons.

    Wow.

    Mbuso:
    “Mom enoughwi
    tht
    hei
    nsul
    ts,
    please.
    ”

    Mom:
    “Ngi
    yashonj
    e.”(
    I’
    mjustsay
    ing.
    )

    “
    Koko,
    koko.
    ”(Knock,
    knock.
    )

    Awomanshout
    sfr
    om t
    heki
    tchen.

    Mom:
    “NgenaZodwa.
    ”(Comei
    nZodwa.
    )

    Sheshout
    sback.

    Anaveragehei
    ght
    ,chubbywomanwal
    ksi
    n,shehasachur
    chout
    fi
    ton.Adr
    esst
    hatcov
    ersher
    kneesandaheadwrap.

    Shesi
    tsnextt
    oMbuso’
    smom.

    Zodwa:
    “Sani
    bonani
    .”(
    Greet
    ings)

    Shegr
    eet
    sandwer
    etur
    nthesal
    utat
    ion.

    Mom:
    “Zodwa,
    thi
    sisher
    .”

    Thiswomandoesnotwastet
    ime.Zodwagl
    ancesatmewi thafrown,shesi
    ghsandshakesher
    head.Mbusol
    ooksatme,he’
    sworri
    edandI
    ’mterr
    if
    ied,
    clearl
    ythiswomanisseei
    ngsomething.

    Zodwa:
    “Okay
    ,letmegett
    oit
    .Ihav
    eapr
    ayermeet
    ingt
    ogett
    o.”

    Sheannounces,
    asshest
    andsandwal
    kst
    ome.

    Zodwa:
    “Guqasi
    si.
    ”(Kneel
    )
    Ikneel
    ont
    hecar
    pet
    ,Mbusomov
    est
    hecof
    feet
    abl
    etomakespace.

    Zodwaputsherhandonmyheadandpr
    aysi
    ntongues.Whenshe’
    sdone,
    shei
    nst
    ruct
    sthat
    ,Isi
    t,
    asshegoesbacktoherseat
    .

    Zodwa:“Iseeawoman,shel
    ivesamongyou.Youknowhert
    obekindbut
    ,shehidesbehi
    ndthat
    ki
    ndness.Thiswomanisj
    eal
    ousofyourmother,
    shewant
    sherl
    i
    fe.She’
    sthereasonthef
    ather
    ofyourchil
    dtur
    nedagai
    nsty
    ou.”

    Great
    ,nowMbuso’smom knowsthat
    ,thebabyi
    snothi
    s.I
    ’
    m af
    rai
    dtoev
    enr
    aisemyhead,
    knowingherl
    ookwil
    lsendmetoanearlygr
    ave.

    Zodwa:“Unesi
    chi
    thosisi
    ,herplanisthat,nothingshouldgowell
    foryou.Nomat terwhatyoudo.
    Mbusowi l
    lal
    soeventual
    lytur
    nony ou, notbecausehewant stobut,
    it’
    sthatcursethathas
    beencastuponyou.Thefatherofyourchi l
    dlov esyou,
    hehadplanstomar r
    yy ou.Shesawthat
    andcursedyourr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.”(Youhav eacur se.)

    Il
    osemysanit
    ytowhatI
    ’
    m hear
    ing,
    IlookatMbuso.Hei
    snotahappyper
    sonr
    ightnow,
    hisj
    aw
    i
    sclampedandhe’
    sgl
    ari
    ngatZodwa.

    Me:
    “Whoi
    sshe?Whyi
    sshedoi
    ngt
    hist
    ome?
    ”

    Zodwa:“
    Icannotgi
    vehernamebut,Icandescr
    ibeher.She’stal
    l
    ,bigbonedandi salways
    weari
    ngthesamedoekonherhead.Thatwomani sforeveraski
    ngabouty ourwell
    being,
    she
    vi
    sit
    syourmotheri
    nthepret
    extoff
    riendshi
    pwhil
    e,shewant stoseeifhercurseisworki
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “But
    ,whatdoesshewantf
    rom me?Whydoesshehat
    eme?
    ”

    She’
    sdef
    ini
    tel
    ydescr
    ibi
    ngMar
    tha.

    Zodwa:“I
    t’
    snotyoushehates,i
    t’
    syourmother
    .Sheknowsthatseei
    ngyousuf
    ferwi
    l
    lbr
    eaky
    our
    mother
    ’shear
    t.You,
    prosperi
    ngmeans,yourmotherwi
    ll
    prosperaswel
    l
    .”

    Idon’
    tunder
    stand.

    Me:
    “But
    ,why
    ?”

    Zodwa: “Mydear,y
    ouwoul dbesurpri
    sedbywhatjeal
    ousymakespeopledo.I
    tisafteral
    l,one
    ofthesev endeadl
    ysi
    ns.Thiswomanhasnot hing,
    nochil
    dren,
    nohusband.Shewant syour
    mot hertobeli
    keher,
    andshewi l
    lstopatnot
    hingtomakeithappen.Ri
    ghtnowt her
    eisawarat
    home, youareawayfrom homebecauseofher.Yourfat
    herbei
    ngthepersonthatheis,i
    sallher
    doi
    ng. ”

    Me:
    “Howdowef
    ixt
    his?
    ”

    Zodwa:
    “Iwil
    lneedt
    ospeaktoyourparent
    sfi
    rst
    ,fornowt
    hisi
    sal
    lIwasshown.May
    bemor
    e
    wil
    lber
    eveal
    edwhenIseeyourparent
    s.”

    Me:
    “Whataboutt
    hedr
    eams,
    ther
    e’sawomani
    n..
    .”

    Zodwa:
    “That
    ’sher
    ,shewant
    syourbaby.Shewant
    stoturni
    tint
    oazombie.Thebabywillgi
    ve
    hert
    hepowersheneedst
    ofi
    nal
    lydestr
    oyyourf
    amily
    ,shewil
    lcont
    rol
    ever
    ythi
    nginthathouse.
    Fr
    om f
    inancest
    odeci
    sionmaki
    ng,
    ever
    ythi
    ngwi
    l
    lfal
    lapar
    t.
    ”

    Thi
    sist
    oomucht
    otakei
    n,Mbusol
    ooksspooked.

    Zodwa:“
    Ineedy
    outogetawhit
    eclot
    h,br
    ingi
    ttomeandIwil
    lpr
    ayfori
    t.Puti
    tony
    ourpi
    l
    low
    whenyougotobedorwr
    apitar
    oundyourbel
    l
    y.Shewon’
    tbeabl
    etogettoyou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Zodwa:“
    Mbusowil
    lneedtobecleansedaswell
    ,yout
    wohav econnect
    edt
    hroughi
    nti
    macy
    .Thi
    s
    cur
    sefol
    lowshi
    m,hi
    slif
    ewil
    leventual
    lyspi
    ral
    outofcont
    rol
    .”

    Mom:
    “Kanj
    ani
    manj
    eZodwa?
    ”(How?
    )

    Zodwa:
    “Li
    keIsai
    d,t
    hei
    rsoul
    sconnect
    edwhent
    heysl
    eptt
    oget
    her
    .”

    Mom:
    “So,
    mysoni
    sunderacur
    se?Mbuso,
    uyabonaukut
    hiwenzeni
    ?”(
    Lookwhaty
    ou’
    vedone.
    )

    Sher
    aisesherv
    oice.

    Mbuso:
    “Whatdi
    dIdo?Ican’
    tchoosewhot
    olov
    emom,
    Lel
    oisher
    eandshe’
    snotgoi
    ng
    any
    where.
    ”

    Di
    dhesayl
    ove?

    Mom:
    "Whataboutt
    hef
    atherofherchi
    l
    d?"

    Mbuso:
    "Whatabouthi
    m?"

    Mom:
    "Youcan'
    trai
    seanot
    herman'
    schi
    l
    d."

    Mbuso:
    "Asf
    arasIknow,
    Lel
    oisexpect
    ingmychi
    l
    dandIwi
    l
    lnothav
    ethi
    sconv
    ersat
    ionwi
    th
    you.
    "

    Igl
    anceathi
    m andIam comf
    ort
    edbyt
    hel
    ookonhi
    sfacet
    hatsay
    s,hewi
    l
    lhel
    pmet
    hrough
    thi
    s.

    Mom:
    “Asazi
    .”(
    Idon’
    tknowany
    mor
    e.)

    Thi
    sisoneunhappywoman.

    NTOMBI
    *

    TothinkS’
    godiwasgoingtohelpme, t
    hatwizardpr
    ovedtobeusel ess.Hesai
    dt her
    e’snot
    hing
    hecandot ohel
    pMoses, onl
    ythepersonwhocastthecur secanreverseit
    .Moseswi l
    lnev
    erbe
    fr
    eef r
    om Nkosi
    yaboandunti
    lAmarai sfound,hewi
    llnotgainhissanit
    y.HowcanJonasbeso
    evi
    l?NowIunderstandwhyhelaughedwhenIannouncedt hat
    ,IwasgoingtotakeMosest oa
    healer
    .
    Walkingdownthestr
    eet
    swithhi
    missodif
    fi
    cul
    t,hekeepschasi
    ngpeople.Theyr
    unandhe
    stopsandlaughsatt
    hem,hepi
    cksupsomeli
    tt
    lekidonthestr
    eet,
    who’sabout5or6year
    sol
    d
    andst ar
    tsspi
    nni
    nghim.

    Moses:
    “Hel
    loboy,
    boy
    .Hel
    l
    o,mubi
    za.Mf
    anakababa,
    umf
    anakababawena.
    ”(Daddy
    ’sboy
    ,you
    ar
    edaddy’
    sboy.
    )

    Hepl
    ayswi
    thhi
    m,t
    hel
    i
    ttl
    eki
    dlookspuzzl
    ed.

    Me:
    “Moses,
    puthi
    m down.
    ”

    Icommand.

    Moses: “
    Ntombi,awuboni
    ifananamil
    engane?Yinganeyamile.Ngasho,kuSusanukut hi
    ngeyami l
    engane,y
    enawaphika,at
    hiyi
    nganeyakaJaft
    a.Cabanganje,Jaft
    acan’ thavechil
    dren,
    he’
    sinfert
    il
    e.”(
    Itol
    dSusanthat,
    thi
    sismychil
    d.Shedenieditandsaidhe’sJafta’schi
    ld.
    I
    magi ne.
    )

    Thi
    sjustmakesmesoangr
    y,i
    fitwer
    enotf
    ort
    hel
    oveIhav
    eforhi
    m.Iwoul
    d’v
    eki
    l
    ledhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Yehl
    i
    sal
    enganemaan.
    ”(Putt
    hechi
    l
    ddown.
    )

    Moses:
    “By
    e,by
    eboy
    ,boy
    .Ubabauzokubonay
    ezwa?
    ”(Dadwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    .)

    Heput
    shi
    m downandt
    heboyscur
    ri
    esawayt
    ohi
    shouse.

    Ihavehear
    dpeoplesaySusan’
    schi
    l
    dlooksl
    i
    keMoses,IguessIdi
    dn’
    twantt
    obel
    i
    evei
    thence,
    I
    brushedt
    hem of
    f.Nowthathe’
    smenti
    onedi
    t,t
    her
    esemblanceisgr
    eat
    .

    Idon’
    tknowhowl
    ongIwi
    l
    lbeabl
    etohol
    dont
    othi
    sman.

    Jonas:
    “Ahhseni
    buy
    il
    e?”(
    You’
    reback.
    )

    Heexpr
    essesaswewal
    kthr
    ought
    hedoor
    .

    Moses:“Jonas,yaziumangibonawena,
    inhl
    i
    ziy
    oyamii
    yaj
    abulamaan.Awushos’bal
    i
    ,
    uzongi
    thengel
    ani ni
    ingudu?
    ”(Myheartj
    umpswhenIseeyou.Tel
    lme,whenwil
    lyoubuymea
    bott
    leofbeer?)

    Hesaysashethrowshi
    mselfonthecouch,hi
    sbrotheranduncl
    earestil
    lhere.Icanseehow
    t
    hishur
    tsthem.Mhambiiswatchi
    ngTV,him andPetuni
    aarecharact
    ers.She’sobsessedwi
    th
    mykit
    chen,whi
    leMhambican’
    tstopwatchi
    ngmyTV.

    Jonas:
    “You’
    rest
    il
    lcr
    azyMoses?It
    houghty
    ourwi
    fesai
    dshewi
    l
    lfi
    xyou.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs,
    ashel
    eer
    satme.

    Me:
    “S’
    godi
    can’
    thel
    pme,
    athi
    onl
    yyoucanr
    ever
    set
    hiscur
    seorAmar
    a’sr
    etur
    n.”

    Hel
    aughs,
    he’
    senj
    oyi
    ngt
    his.

    Moses:
    “Ssshh,
    uZul
    uuy
    akhul
    uma.
    ”(Zul
    uist
    alki
    ng.
    )

    He’
    sst
    ari
    ngatt
    heempt
    yspacebesi
    dehi
    m.
    Weal
    lgl
    anceathi
    m,t
    hisi
    snol
    ongershocki
    ng.

    Moses:
    “Ohh,
    ushouAmar
    aZul
    u?”(
    YoumeanAmar
    a?)

    Hebur
    stsi
    ntol
    aught
    er.

    Moses: “
    Hay imadoda, l
    ey angane.Ubengibambakamnandi ,t
    heprobl
    em isthatherhandswere
    tooshakymaan, shit
    .Ihatedhowshecr iedalot,‘
    nyweny weuncl
    eplease,stop.Don’
    tdothi
    s,I
    don’twant,stop.Nyweny we.Yohbekungathingi
    ngam’bulal
    a.Kodwahay i
    ,uMosesomcane
    yena,hayishame.Ubey if
    unal eyanganekodwake, ngebhadilami,
    wayelokhuewa, whenI
    wantedtopenet rateher,angazikanj
    ani
    .Mangi t
    hingiy
    ifakaemlomeni,yoh,yoh,yohi
    memeze
    i
    ngane.”

    (Thatchil
    dguys,
    sheusedt otouchmei
    naniceway.
    )(If
    eltl
    i
    kekil
    li
    ngher
    ,Iwasarousedbyher
    .
    But,Icoul
    dn’
    tgetitup.Idon’
    tknowwhy
    .WhenItr
    iedtoputi
    tinhermout
    h,shewouldscr
    eam.)

    Ther
    eisadeadlysi
    lenceintheroom,evenPet uniawhocamef rom t
    heki t
    chenlooksshocked.
    Sheusual
    lyscr
    eamswhenabombi sdropped, t
    odaysheistonguetied.Jonashashisjaw
    cl
    enched,Mhambiholdsanimpassiveexpression.Moses’br
    otherandunclecarrydi
    sappoint
    ed
    l
    ooks,Iwoul
    dn’
    tbesur pr
    isedi
    ftheywalkoutonhi m.

    Ihav
    ealwaysbeenaf
    rai
    dthi
    sdaywouldcome,Moseshaski
    ll
    edme.Pet
    uni
    aandIscr
    eam
    whenJonasjumpsonMosesandpuncheshi
    m ashestr
    addl
    eshi
    m.

    Me:
    “Jonasl
    eav
    ehi
    m.”

    Iscr
    eam,
    Ican’
    tgetanycl
    oser
    .He’
    stoov
    iol
    ent
    .

    Hekeepsthr
    owingpunchesatadef
    encel
    essMoses,
    themani
    sment
    all
    ydi
    stur
    bed.Hecan’
    t
    def
    endhimself
    .

    Me:
    “Zakhel
    e,hel
    phi
    m pl
    ease.Jonasi
    sgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lhi
    m.”

    Zakhel
    elooksaway
    .

    Iwon’tev
    enbotherwi
    thNj
    abul
    o,he’
    swast
    ed.Thesemenar
    ecal
    mlysi
    tt
    ingdown,
    whi
    l
    emy
    husbandisbei
    ngbeat
    en.

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    pleasest
    ophi
    m,pl
    ease.
    ”

    Ipl
    ead,
    Mhambi
    wal
    ksaway
    .

    Icar
    rymyhandsonmyhead,
    feel
    i
    ngdef
    eat
    ed.Zakhel
    efi
    nal
    l
    yget
    supandpul
    l
    sJonasback.

    Jonas:
    “Ngi
    yeke,
    ngi
    zoy
    ibul
    alal
    enj
    a.”(
    Leav
    eme,
    Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lthi
    sbast
    ard.
    )

    Hef
    ail
    stopushhi
    m away
    ,Zakhel
    eisbi
    gbonedcompar
    edt
    oJonas.

    Theroom er
    upt
    swithscr
    eamsandgaspswhenMhambi marchesbackwithagunai
    medat
    Moses,I
    ’minfr
    ontofhi
    mi naf
    lash.Mosesl
    ooksconf
    used.Hedoesn’
    tseem t
    oknowwhati
    s
    goi
    ngon.

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    wenzani
    ?”(
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    )
    Iscr
    eam athi
    m,hi
    sfacei
    ssocol
    d.I
    fImov
    efr
    om MosesMhambi
    wil
    lki
    l
    lhi
    m.

    Mhambi
    :“Mov
    eNt
    ombi
    .”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Me:
    “No,
    you’
    regoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lmyhusband.
    ”

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    Isai
    dmov
    eorIwi
    l
    lgot
    hroughy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    ngi
    yakucel
    a.Hedi
    dn’
    tmeananyoft
    his.
    ”(Pl
    ease.
    )

    Ipl
    ead.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    ubuwazi
    ?”(
    Youknew?
    )

    Ican’
    tmi
    sst
    heshocki
    nherv
    oice,
    sheshoul
    dn’
    tev
    ent
    alkt
    ome.

    Jonas:
    “Isi
    ttr
    ueNt
    ombi
    ?YouknewMoseswasmol
    est
    ingAmar
    a?”

    Hi
    svoi
    cei
    scoat
    edwi
    thpai
    n,Idr
    opmyheadi
    nshameandPet
    uni
    ascr
    eams.Dammi
    t…

    Whyi
    ssheal
    way
    sscr
    eami
    ng?

    Mhambi
    :“Nt
    ombi
    ?Nganekababa?Wenzeni
    ,wenzeni
    Ntombi
    ?”(
    Whathav
    eyoudonemysi
    ster
    ?)

    Onl
    ynow,
    hisf
    acebecomesemot
    ional
    .

    Jonas:
    “Khul
    umaNt
    ombi
    ?YouknewMoseswasmol
    est
    ingt
    hatchi
    l
    d?”

    Hehowl
    satme,
    ashegr
    absmyar
    msandshakesme.

    Me:
    “Yebo,
    yebobengazi
    .”(
    Yes,
    Iknew.
    )

    Iscr
    eam outl
    oud,
    ever
    yonegaspsi
    nast
    oni
    shment
    .

    Myfamoust
    ear
    sparadedownmycheeks,
    Ihavenoneedf
    ort
    hem any
    mor
    e,ast
    heyal
    way
    sfai
    l
    me.Ther
    ewasonceati
    mewhentheywouldpl
    eadforme.

    Me: “
    Ihavealway sknownt hathehasawonder ingeye,Iendureditaslongas, hedi dn’tcheaton
    meandi fhedid, itwasbet t
    erthatIdidn’tknow.ThischangedwhenwehadNombul elo,Ial
    way s
    wonderedwhyhenev erwant edtochangeherdi apers.Hewoul dwalkoutoft her oom whenI
    undressher,ortakeat owel andcov erher.It
    houghthewasbei ngprotect
    iveasamansi nce,the
    rat
    eofsexual violenceinthiscountryisamongt hehi
    ghestinthewor l
    d.But,asshegr ewup, he
    wouldlookatheri nastrangeway .Ididn’
    tunderstandit
    ,ti
    llIl
    i
    teral
    lysawhi sey estur nlustf
    ul.
    Mywor ldshatteredthat,myhusbandwoul dundressatenyearold,hisownchi ldwi thhisey es.”

    Petuni
    aisi
    ntear
    s,t
    hemenaregl
    ari
    ngatmewithshock.I
    ’
    m am sti
    l
    lshiel
    dingmyweakened
    husbandfr
    om Mhambi
    ’
    sgun.Si
    nceIhav
    estar
    tedthi
    s,Imightaswell
    fini
    shit.

    Me:“Iwasafr
    aidt
    hatoneday
    ,hewi
    l
    lfor
    gethi
    sfat
    her
    lyl
    oveandgi
    vei
    ntohi
    sdesi
    res.Iknew
    aboutAmara.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    youknew?
    ”
    Me: “
    Yesandf ormeitwasbet t
    erbecauseLel
    owassafe.Isawhim onedaymast
    urbat
    ingwhil
    e
    watchingAmar at
    akeabath,that’
    swhenIfoundout
    .Shewasf our
    teenbut,
    Ihadmysuspici
    ons
    bef
    oret hat
    .Youcan’
    timaginehowshockedIwasbut,thatmeantmyLelowassafe.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    .Howcoul
    dyou?
    ”

    Hequer
    iessof
    tl
    y,Iseedef
    eatcov
    eri
    nghi
    m.

    Me:“Howcoul
    dIwhatJonas?Howcoul
    dIpr
    otectmydaught
    er?I
    fgi
    venachance,
    Iwoul
    ddoi
    t
    agai
    n.”

    Petuniarushestomeandsl
    apsme,
    Ifal
    lbackonMoseswhopushesmeof fofhim.HowdoI
    neverseeherslapscomi
    ng?Thi
    swi
    tchwil
    lpayonedayf
    oreachone.I
    ’
    m surpr
    isedMoses
    hasn’tsaidaword.

    Mhambi:“
    Ist
    hiswhyyout ookAmara?Youdi
    dn’twantustotakeherbecauseofthisNtombi?
    Yousai
    ditwi
    llbebet
    ter
    ,ifshegrowsupinJoburgwherether
    e’sbet
    teropport
    unit
    iesandthat
    Nombul
    eloneededafri
    end.Kant
    i y
    ouwantedtofeedyourhusband’
    ssickdesi
    res.
    ”

    Heyell
    satme,Mhambineverr
    aiseshisv
    oice.Thatgunonhi
    shandl
    ooksl
    i
    kei
    t’
    saboutt
    ogo
    of
    f,t
    heangerhi
    sfacehol
    dsisscary.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Ihadt
    opr
    otectmychi
    l
    d.”

    Petuni
    a:“Whatchi
    l
    d?Thever
    ysamehusbandyou’
    reprot
    ecti
    ng,thr
    ewherout.Moseshas
    al
    way sbeentr
    ashNtombi
    andyouhav
    ealwayscheeredhim on,
    usaqhubeka.
    ”(Youcont
    inuet
    o
    cheerhi
    m on.)

    Mhambi
    :“Nomor
    e,t
    hisendsher
    enow.
    ”

    Hescr
    eamsbef
    oreagungoesof
    f.

    KHETHU*

    Randall
    cal
    ledmyfat
    herov
    er,
    hemadesur
    ethatal
    lmybagsar
    epacked.Ihat
    ehi
    m,hewi
    l
    lpay
    fort
    hisoneday.

    Randall
    :“Idon’
    tunder
    standwhyy
    ouseekanswer
    sfr
    om St
    yles,
    yourdaught
    erhol
    dsev
    ery
    thi
    ng
    thaty
    ouneedt oknow.”

    Hespeakswithsomucharrogance,
    myf at
    herwasn’
    tevenof
    feredaseatoragl
    assofwat
    er.
    We’
    reallst
    andingi
    nthel
    i
    vingroom, t
    hrowi
    ngwordsateachother.

    Dad:
    “Whoar
    eyou?Whatpar
    tdi
    dyoupl
    ayi
    nthi
    srel
    ati
    onshi
    p?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Doesi
    tmat
    ter
    ?”

    Idon’
    tknowwhyhet
    hinkshecanst
    andupt
    omyf
    atherandt
    hosehandsi
    nhi
    spocket
    sscr
    eam
    di
    srespect
    .
    Dad:“I
    tmat
    ter
    sal
    ri
    ght,
    Iwi
    l
    lsquashy
    ouboy
    .Noonehur
    tsmychi
    l
    d,Icanar
    resty
    ouf
    or
    assaul
    ti
    ngawoman.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Byal
    lmeans,
    goahead.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Dl
    adl
    a,wedon’
    twantanyt
    roubl
    e.”

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    yles,
    thesepeopl
    ear
    enot
    hingt
    oyouany
    mor
    e.Youdon’
    thav
    etot
    aket
    hei
    rshi
    t.
    ”

    Dad:“
    There’
    stwoofyouSi
    shi
    but
    ,thi
    sonei
    swor
    se.Idi
    dn’
    tknowt
    heyst
    il
    lmakey
    ourki
    nd.
    You’
    reful
    lofshi
    tboy
    .”

    Hemocks.

    Randal
    ll
    :“St
    yles.I
    sthi
    swhaty
    ouhadt
    oputupwi
    thf
    orf
    oury
    ear
    s?Bul
    l
    shi
    tfr
    om f
    atherand
    daught
    er?”

    St
    yles:
    “Randyno.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thati
    snotf
    air
    ,Ihav
    ebeenagoodwomant
    oSt
    yles.Igav
    ehi
    m mywhol
    eli
    fe.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Noonehasdi
    sput
    edt
    hatKhet
    hu,
    it’
    swhaty
    ouhav
    ebecomet
    hatwedonotcondone.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sthatsupposedt
    omean?
    ”

    Hemov escl
    osertoRandal
    lwhoi
    snotatall
    daunted,t
    osayIhat
    ethi
    smanwoul
    dbean
    under
    stat
    ement.Sty
    leswoul
    dbewit
    hmei fitwer
    en’tf
    orhi
    m.

    Randall
    :“Commi
    ssi
    oner,
    I’
    m prett
    ysur eyouhaveseent heredfl
    ags.Yourdaught
    erisobsessed
    withthi
    smanandwekeept el
    li
    ngy ou.I’
    m notsur
    eifthathasregist
    eri
    nginyourhead,
    yet.
    Every
    onehasseeni
    t,sur
    ely
    , y
    ourfatherl
    ylovecannotblindyoul
    ikethat
    .”

    Me:“
    He’sly
    ingdad,it
    ’sbecauseofhi
    mthatSt
    ylesandIhav
    ebr
    okenup.Hemani
    pul
    atedhi
    m
    andt
    urnedhim agai
    nstme.”

    Randal
    lsni
    gger
    s,ashegl
    aresatme.

    St
    yles:
    “St
    opl
    yi
    ngKhet
    hu.Whenwi
    l
    lyouownupt
    oyourmi
    stakes?
    ”

    Me:“WhatmistakesStyl
    es?Al
    lIev
    erdidwasloveyou,f
    orf
    oury
    ear
    sIputupwi
    thy
    ou.Ist
    ayed
    andcompromised,evenwhenyoudidn’
    twanttomarryme.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Oh,
    her
    ewego.
    ”

    Me:“I
    fitweren’
    tforRandal
    l
    ,wewoul
    dbef
    ixi
    ngt
    hings.Randal
    li
    scont
    rol
    l
    ingy
    ou,
    that
    ’swhyy
    ou
    t
    reatmelikethi
    s.”

    St
    yles:
    “Youseet
    hisDl
    adl
    a,t
    hisi
    swhyIcan’
    tdot
    hisany
    mor
    e.Yourchi
    l
    dhasnor
    espectf
    or
    me.”

    Dad:
    “Respecti
    sear
    nedboy
    ,nott
    aken.
    ”

    IseeRandal
    l
    ’sf
    acechange.
    Randal
    l
    :“That
    ’si
    t,gety
    ourdaught
    erandl
    eav
    enow.
    ”

    Hecommands.

    Dad:
    “Youdon’
    tgett
    ospeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Canwenotpl
    ayhouse,
    commi
    ssi
    oner
    ?Takey
    ourdaught
    erandgetout
    .”

    Me:
    “St
    yles?Wi
    l
    lyoul
    ethi
    m speakt
    omyf
    atherl
    i
    ket
    his?Igav
    eyouf
    oury
    ear
    sofmyl
    i
    feand…”

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    sisget
    ti
    ngbor
    ing,
    sisi
    takey
    ourf
    oury
    ear
    sandl
    eav
    emybr
    other
    ’shouse.
    ”

    Il
    ookatdad,
    he’
    sdef
    eat
    ed.

    Me:
    “Daddy
    ?”

    Dad:
    “Let
    ’sgoangel
    .”

    Hedecl
    ares.

    Me:
    “No,
    daddy
    .Iam notl
    eav
    ingSt
    yles,
    he’
    smyl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hut
    her
    e’snot
    hingwecandonow,
    let
    ’sgoandst
    opembar
    rassi
    ngy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Het
    akesmyhand,
    Iyanki
    tawayi
    nst
    ead.

    Me:
    “No,
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hust
    op!
    !!
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    s.

    Dad:
    “Youhav
    ehumi
    l
    iat
    edmeenough,
    nowgety
    our
    sel
    fint
    hecar
    .”

    Thi
    smanhasnev
    ery
    ell
    edatmel
    i
    ket
    his.

    Il
    ookatStyl
    es,hi
    seyesarecold.Thespar
    khehadbefore,i
    snolongerpresent,henowlooksat
    mewiththeeyesofastr
    anger.Ilovet
    hisman,
    Ican’
    tleavewit
    houthim.Thet houghtofbei
    ng
    wi
    thouthi
    m kil
    lsme.

    Me:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    Idr
    oponmykneesbef
    orehi
    m,hest
    epsback.

    Neo:“Ai
    mi ssK,noman.Wher
    eisy
    ourdi
    gni
    tymaan?You’
    reembar
    rassi
    ngy
    our
    sel
    f,comeon,
    havesel
    f-
    respect.
    ”

    Neocompl
    ains,
    ashewal
    ksi
    nfr
    om t
    heki
    tchen,
    Ishoothi
    m abl
    ackl
    ook.

    St
    yles:
    “khet
    hugetup.
    ”

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,lookatme.I
    t’
    sme,
    youronl
    yey
    e,r
    emember
    ?Youl
    ovemeSt
    yles,
    wel
    oveeachot
    her
    .”

    Iscr
    eam,
    whenIfeel
    someonecl
    utchmyar
    m andpul
    lmeup.I
    t’
    sRandal
    l
    ,he’
    sdr
    aggi
    ngme
    towar
    dst
    hedoor
    .
    Me:
    “Letmego.
    ”

    Ishout
    .

    Hel
    ugsmeout
    side,
    dadf
    oll
    owsbehi
    ndhi
    m wi
    thmyl
    uggage.

    It
    ryt
    orunbacki
    nbut
    ,Randal
    lbl
    ockst
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    babypl
    ease.Don’
    tdot
    hist
    ome.
    ”

    Ipeeki
    n,cr
    yingoutt
    oSt
    yles,
    het
    urnsaway
    .

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmy
    sel
    fSt
    yles,
    mydeat
    hwi
    l
    lbeony
    ou.
    ”

    Randal
    lshut
    sthedooronmyf
    ace.Howdar
    ehe?
    ”

    Ibangt
    hedoorandt
    ryt
    oopeni
    t,hehasl
    ockedi
    tfr
    om t
    hei
    nsi
    de.

    Me:
    “St
    ylespl
    ease,
    opent
    hisdoor
    .”

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hust
    op,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Hegr
    absmyhandandIy
    anki
    t.

    Dad:“
    Iwi
    llt
    reaty
    ouli
    keachi
    ldi
    fyoui
    nsistonacti
    ngl
    i
    keone.YouknowIhav
    enev
    erl
    aidahand
    onyouKhet
    hubut,y
    ouaref
    orci
    ngmerightnow.”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tcar
    e,ki
    l
    lmei
    fyouhav
    eto.Iam notl
    eav
    ingSt
    yles.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m.

    Hedoesn’
    tunder
    standmyf
    eel
    i
    ngs,
    noonedoes.

    Dad:
    “Ket
    hukut
    hul
    a,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”

    Hecommands,
    Iknowt
    hatv
    oice,
    he’
    sangr
    y.

    Me:
    “St
    ylesopent
    hedoorpl
    ease.
    ”

    Icr
    yasIbangont
    hedoor
    ,myf
    athergr
    absmyhandanddr
    agsmet
    othecarscr
    eami
    ng.

    Me:
    “Letmego,
    dadpl
    ease,
    letmego.Youdon’
    tunder
    stand,
    Ineedhi
    m.”

    Heopenst
    hepassengerdoor,shov
    esmei
    nsi
    deandcl
    osesi
    t.Iopent
    hedoor
    ,hegi
    vesmea
    st
    ernl
    ookandpushesitshut
    .

    Dad:
    “Opent
    hatdoorKhet
    huandIwi
    l
    lbeaty
    ourassupont
    hisst
    reet
    .”

    Hi
    sthr
    eat
    sfor
    cemetoremain,
    myhear
    tisbreaki
    ngandIcan’
    tbreat
    he.Howwil
    lIl
    eav
    ewi
    thout
    t
    helov
    eofmyli
    fe?OhGod!Howwi
    ll
    Iendurewakingupwit
    houthim nextt
    ome?

    Tobecont
    inued…
    74*

    MKHI
    ZE*

    MaSibi
    ya:
    “Baba,
    umaDlami
    niakaphi
    l
    il
    e.Kuzof
    anel
    eat
    hol
    eusi
    zo.
    ”(MaDl
    ami
    nii
    snotwel
    l
    ,she
    wi
    llhav
    etogethelp.
    )

    Me:
    “Usi
    zo,
    ninani
    khonanj
    e?”(
    Hel
    p,wheny
    ouguy
    sar
    eher
    e?”

    MaSi
    biy
    a:“
    Usey
    asi
    hlul
    ababa,
    wet
    ri
    edkodwahay
    i.
    ”(Shehasbecomedi
    ff
    icul
    t.
    )

    Me:“MaSi
    biy
    a,i
    nkingaikuphi?Ngobaanisebenzi
    ,you’
    realwayssit
    ti
    ngathome,gossipingthe
    whol
    eday.UmaDlami ningumnewenu,kuzomelenim’nakel
    ele.
    ”(MaDlami
    nii
    syoursister-
    wife,
    youhavet
    olookafterher.”

    MaSibi
    yahasbecomeanui sance,shecomest omyof f
    iceeverydayt
    otel
    lmet hesamethi
    ng.
    MaDlamini’
    ssituat
    ionhasworsened, shethr
    owstantr
    ums.Shehi t
    shersi
    ster
    -wiv
    esand
    someti
    mes, wewoul dwakewi t
    hloudmusi cplay
    ing,
    tofindherdanci
    ngandcookingupastor
    m
    i
    nthekitchen.Herreasonwouldbet hat,i
    t’
    sChri
    stmas.Ithascometoapointwherewel
    ockher
    upinherroom, whenwegot obed.

    Me:“
    MaSibi
    ya,
    youaretheeldestandIexpectbet
    terf
    rom y
    ou.MaDl
    ami
    niwi
    l
    lgethel
    p,don’
    t
    wor
    rythi
    ngswi
    llgobacktonormal soon.
    ”

    MaSi
    biya:
    “Wenababauhl
    ezi
    uthi
    soon,
    kodwaay
    ifi
    kil
    eyosoon.
    ”(You’
    real
    way
    ssay
    ingsoon
    andi
    t’
    snothappeni
    ng.
    )

    She’
    ssul
    ki
    ng.

    Me:“WeMaSibi
    ya,
    ngicel
    auphumela.Phuma,Idon’
    twantt
    oseey
    oui
    nmyof
    fi
    ceagai
    nunl
    ess,
    you’
    rebr
    ingi
    ngmefood.Nxa.
    ”(Pl
    easegetout
    .)

    Ihowl
    ather
    ,shef
    rownsandmar
    chesoutwi
    thherl
    i
    pspout
    ed.

    Thesewomanwi
    l
    ldr
    ivemecr
    azy
    .

    “
    Baba.
    ”

    Si
    kasay
    sashewal
    ksi
    n.

    Si
    ka:
    “Mkhont
    oisher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Lethi
    min.
    ”

    Hehesi
    tat
    es,
    hehassomet
    hingi
    nhi
    smi
    nd.

    Me:
    “Uf
    un’
    ukut
    hini
    ?”(
    Whatdoy
    ouwantt
    osay
    ?)

    Sika:
    “Ingabey
    iceboel
    ihl
    elelobaba?Messi
    ngwi
    thScari
    sdanger
    ous,
    lookwhathappenedt
    o
    LungaandMaDl amini
    .”(
    Isthi
    sagoodidea?)
    Me:“I
    ngakhonj
    engi
    funaukuphi
    ndi
    sel
    a.Myboydiedbut,
    Okoli
    eisst
    il
    lal
    iv
    e.Thist
    imeIwil
    lgo
    t
    owarwi t
    htheMkhi
    zes,myancest
    orswi
    ll
    notfai
    lmet hi
    sti
    mearound.
    ”(That
    ’swhyIwant
    r
    evenge.
    )

    Si
    ka:
    “Ingabel
    i
    thi
    nii
    cebol
    akhobaba?
    ”(Whati
    syourpl
    an?
    )

    Me: “
    Iwil
    lhaveOkol ie’schi
    l
    d, Iwil
    lrai
    seherinmyownway .Iwantt
    ot urnherint
    oaki l
    li
    ng
    machine,Iwil
    linsti
    lsomuchhat redinherhear
    tforherfat
    her.Iwi
    llmakeherbel i
    evehesol dher
    tome.Sithii
    siZulu‘sigoqesisasemanzi.Thatl
    i
    ttl
    egir
    lwill
    bemyr evenge,shewillki
    llherown
    fat
    her.ThenIwantt osee, i
    ft heOkoli
    ecursewil
    lfal
    luponher.Won’tthatbeacher r
    yont op,
    kil
    l
    ingtwobirdswi t
    honest one? ”(Ther
    e’sasayi
    nginZulu‘fol
    ditwhil
    eit’
    sstil
    lwet.)

    Si
    ka:“Lihl
    eicebol
    akhobaba,
    kodwakee,
    uMkhont
    oangi
    m’t
    hembi
    .”(
    Yourpl
    ani
    sgoodbut
    ,I
    don’
    ttrustMkhont
    o.)

    Me:“Mkhont
    olovesmoney
    ,hegr
    ewupi
    nthesl
    umps.Thosei
    diot
    swi
    l
    ldoany
    thi
    ngf
    ormoney
    ,
    showhim at
    housandr
    andandhewi
    l
    lgocr
    azy.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    Si
    ka:
    “Ley
    anganey
    ona?Theyt
    ookherbaba.
    ”(Whataboutt
    hatgi
    rl
    ?)

    Me:“Ungakhathazekingal
    oyo,Isti
    ll
    havemydogMoses.Hecanr unbut,
    hecan’thi
    de.Moses
    owesmeandonewayort heot her
    ,hewillpaymeback.Ev
    eni
    fitmeans,Ihav
    etotakehi
    s
    daught
    er,Iwil
    ldoit.”(
    Don’tworryabouther.)

    Hel
    aughs.

    Si
    ka:
    “Ey
    ybaba,
    youl
    i
    ket
    hem y
    oungneh.
    ”

    Me:“
    Uyabonaumuzi wamiugcwelei
    zal
    ukazi
    ,ngi
    saf
    unaukuphi
    l
    ami
    naSi
    ka.
    ”(Myhousei
    sful
    lof
    ol
    dwomen, Ist
    il
    lwanttoenj
    oyli
    fe.
    )

    Hel
    aughs.

    Si
    ka:
    “Hai
    kee,
    letmecal
    lthi
    sfool
    .”

    Heopenst
    hedoorandgest
    urest
    hatMkhont
    ocomesi
    n.

    Igetupashest
    ri
    desi
    n.Thi
    sbast
    ardhasnothear
    dwhatIhav
    etosaybut
    ,he’
    sal
    readygr
    umpy
    .

    Me:“
    UMkhontoomkhulu,
    owanqobai
    zi
    thazakheezi
    namandl
    a.”(
    Thegr
    eatspeart
    hatconquer
    ed
    hi
    sstr
    ongestenemi
    es.
    )

    Hef
    rownsatmyf
    ri
    endl
    yface.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Yimi
    lo.
    ”(That
    ’sme.
    )

    Hegr
    oans,
    ashescowl
    satme.Si
    kadoesn’
    tli
    ket
    his.

    Me:
    “Hl
    alapansi
    nsi
    zwa.
    ”(Si
    tdownman.
    )

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Angi
    hlal
    inezi
    thazami
    .”(
    Idonotdwel
    lwi
    thmyenemi
    es.
    )
    Me:
    “Hai
    bo!Kusekel
    ani
    nisi
    yi
    zi
    tha?
    ”(Si
    nce,
    whenar
    eweenemi
    es?
    )

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Ufunani
    Mkhi
    ze?
    ”(Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?)

    Me:“Okay,l
    etmegett
    othepoi
    nt.Ther
    e’sacockr
    oacht
    hatwon’
    tleav
    emyhouse,
    Ineedy
    out
    o
    squashitf
    orme.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Wenauhl
    ulway
    ini
    ?”(
    Whycan’
    tyoudoi
    t?)

    Me:“
    Icandoit
    ,kodwangi
    yazi
    ukut
    hiwenaungay
    enz
    aumsebenzi
    ongcono.
    ”(Iknowy
    ouwi
    l
    ldo
    abet
    terj
    ob.
    )

    Hest
    aresf
    orawhi
    l
    easi
    fmul
    l
    inguponmywor
    ds.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Igama?
    ”(Name?
    )

    I
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngt
    hrought
    ohi
    m.

    Me:
    “Scar
    .”

    Hi
    sfr
    owngr
    ows.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Okol
    i
    e?”

    Me:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Hesmi
    rksandIknowi
    t’
    sdone.

    Me:
    “Ngi
    funai
    ndodakazi
    yakhe.
    ”(Iwanthi
    sdaught
    er.
    )

    Ii
    ntr
    oducemypl
    an.

    Me: “
    IknowabouttheOkol
    i
    ecurse.Youcannotshedt
    hei
    rbl
    ood,
    sot
    her
    ewon’
    tbeanybl
    ood-
    shed.Iwantt
    hatchil
    dinmyhouse.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Angi
    sebenzi
    mahal
    aMkhul
    u.”(
    Idon’
    twor
    kforf
    ree.
    )

    Iknewi
    t.

    Me:
    “Si
    ka?
    ”

    Hegr
    absabagofmoneyf
    rom undert
    het
    abl
    eandpl
    acesi
    tont
    op.

    Me:
    “Ngi
    yazi
    ukut
    hil
    olul
    uli
    mil
    wakho.
    ”(Iknowt
    hisi
    syourl
    anguage.
    )

    Hecr
    umpl
    eshi
    sey
    ebr
    ows.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Ngi
    yabona,
    fut
    hii
    nukakamnandi
    .”(
    Iseeandi
    tsmel
    l
    sni
    ce.
    )

    Me:
    “Ibal
    e.”(
    Counti
    t.
    )

    MKhont
    o:“
    Awut
    hingi
    yodl
    aamat
    hambowenqoda.
    ”(Letmegot
    hinkabouti
    tfi
    rst
    .)

    Idi
    dn’
    texpectt
    his,
    IleeratSi
    kawhor
    aiseshi
    sey
    esbr
    owsi
    nret
    urn.

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttakel
    ong.
    ”
    Henodsandt
    urnst
    owal
    k.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Awusukeendl
    eni
    mfana.
    ”(Getoutoft
    hewayboy
    .)

    HegrowlsatSi
    kawho'sst
    andi
    ngatthedoor
    ,Mkhontoisasscaryashesounds.Helooksl
    ike
    thety
    peyouwouldrunawayfr
    om whenyoumeethim onthestr
    eets.Si
    kamoves,l
    ookingl
    i
    ke
    he’sr
    eadytofi
    ght
    .Mkhontot
    urnst
    olookatme.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Ngi
    zol
    i
    nyat
    hel
    aiphel
    alakho.
    ”(Iwi
    l
    lsquashy
    ourcockr
    oach.
    )

    Hedecl
    aresbef
    orewal
    ki
    ngaway
    .

    Si
    ka:
    “Nj
    a,nxa.
    ”(Dog.
    )

    Il
    aughathi
    m,he’
    sint
    imi
    dat
    edbyMkhont
    o.

    AMARA*

    Randallwasn’
    tinbedwhenIwokeupt hi
    smorning.IwasgladinawaybecauseIwasalit
    tl
    e
    embarrassedaboutwhathappenedbetweenus.Ididn’
    tknowhowIwouldfacehi
    mt hi
    s
    morning,i
    twasallIcoul
    dthi
    nkabout
    ,asIlai
    donhi schestlastni
    ght
    .

    Tothi
    nkIwantedmor
    eandIthoughthewouldgofur
    ther
    ,Iwasali
    ttl
    edi
    sappoi
    nted.That
    ’s
    whentheshamewasbui
    l
    t,wanti
    ngmor eofhi
    m.Ihaveneverwant
    edanyt
    hingsobadinmyl i
    fe.

    I
    t’
    sgetti
    nglat
    enowandhe’snothomey
    et,
    Ihav
    ebeenst
    ret
    chi
    ngmyneckatt
    hesoundofev
    ery
    dooropeni
    ngoradoorbel
    l
    .

    Icanonl
    yent
    ertaint
    hought
    sofhi
    m,If
    indmy
    sel
    fbi
    ti
    ngmyl
    i
    pswhenIt
    hinkaboutt
    hatt
    oe
    curl
    i
    ngexper
    ience.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Youhav
    egr
    ownr
    est
    lesswai
    ti
    ngf
    orUze.
    ”

    I
    ’m si
    tt
    ingwi t
    hChiomainthel
    i
    vingroom,she’
    sbingingagai
    n.Liy
    anaissl
    eepi
    ngi
    nherr
    oom,
    Randal
    l hasn’
    tseenhersi
    ncey
    ester
    day,Ihopehe’snotavoi
    dingher
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m notwai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    m.”

    Il
    i
    e.

    “
    Whoar
    eyounotwai
    ti
    ngf
    or?
    ”

    Itur
    ntomeethi sface,cl
    oseenoughtof eelhi
    sbreat
    honmyf ace.Hesuddenl
    ycagesmeon
    thecouch,hiseyesperusi
    ngmylips.Igulpasmyhear tt
    hudsagai
    nstmychest,Il
    ookaway
    whil
    ehel eanscl
    osertomyf ace,
    thetipofhisnosetouchi
    ngmine.Thi
    sisawkward,Chi
    omais
    sti
    ll
    sit
    ti
    ngr i
    ghtacrossme.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,Chi
    omai
    sher
    e.”

    Iwhi
    sper
    .
    Randal
    l
    :“I
    t’
    sjustus,
    mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Hest
    ates,
    hisl
    ust
    ygazest
    abbi
    ngme.It
    il
    tmyheadt
    othesi
    de,
    tof
    indChi
    omagone.

    Icanbarelyt
    akemyey esoffofhis,ashecrawlsont hecouch,adj
    usti
    nghimsel fonme.He
    burr
    owshi sfaceont hecur
    veofmyneckandbegi nsbit
    ingandkissi
    ngit,
    anunwel comedmoan
    escapesmymout h,asanupsurgeofheatr ushesinmybody .Isupportmyselfwithmyelbows,
    ashisbodygent l
    ypressesagainstmine,pushingmedown.Myef for
    tsarefruit
    less,whenmy
    backcrashesont hecouch,declar
    ingRandallvict
    ori
    ous.

    I’
    m heavingandbreat
    hless,
    ashecar
    ri
    esont
    obi
    teandsuckonmyneckandIcanhar
    dlyt
    hink
    str
    aightduetothi
    ssuddenacti
    on.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ?”

    Iwhi
    sper
    ,tr
    yingt
    ocat
    chmybr
    eat
    h.

    Randal
    l
    :“Mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Hewhisper
    sback,
    bef
    orehebi
    tesmyear
    lobe,
    andcont
    inuest
    opl
    antki
    ssesont
    hemost
    sensi
    ti
    vepar
    tsofmyneck.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Mybr
    eat
    hlessnesshasmef
    eel
    i
    ngmor
    ti
    fi
    ed.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwanty
    ou,
    Amar
    a.”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sint
    omyearandIf
    eel
    ati
    ntofwar
    m moi
    stashel
    i
    cksi
    t.

    Hebringshisf
    acetomineandt akesmyl owerli
    pwithhi
    steeth,gent
    lybiti
    ngit
    ,Ifeelhi
    m smi r
    k
    atthi
    sscenewhil
    eheslowlypullsmylip.Mybodyshuddersandhet akesmyl i
    pspr i
    soner,not
    gi
    vingmeachancet oprot
    est.Histonguefindsmineinaji
    ff
    y,ashegr eedil
    yki
    ssesme, li
    kehe’s
    beencravi
    ngfori
    t.Idi
    dsaythisismyobsessi on,
    Icanonl
    ybr eathei
    nt hi
    smoment .

    Myheart
    beatquickensal
    ongwi t
    hmypul se,
    mybloodpressurer
    ises.If
    eelat
    hrobbi
    ngonmy
    cl
    it
    ori
    sandasuddenwet ness.Theshudderi
    ngofmybodyi nt
    ensif
    ieswhenhesli
    pshishand
    undermyshi
    rt
    ,leadingi
    ttowardsmybreastandsoft
    lygrabsi
    t.

    “
    Thi
    sisnothowIi
    magi
    nedmeet
    ingmybr
    otheraf
    tersomanyy
    ear
    s.”

    Afemalesvoicepul
    lsusoutofthi
    sheatedmoment .IpressmyhandonRandall
    ’
    schest,
    asItr
    y
    togethi
    m offme.He’snotmov i
    nginst
    ead,nuzzl
    eshisfaceonmyneckandsighsdeepl
    y.Hi
    s
    handisst
    il
    lresti
    ngonmybr east
    ,li
    kehedoesn’twanttoletgooft
    hismoment.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,ther
    e’ssomeone.
    ”

    Icanonl
    ywhi
    sper
    ,asi
    tfeel
    sli
    kesomet
    hinghascl
    oggedmyt
    hroat
    .

    Hepresseshisli
    psonmyneckandtheyl
    i
    ngeron.Nowmybodyt
    rembl
    esf
    rom t
    he
    embarrassmentofhav
    inghi
    m ont
    opofmewi t
    hsomeonest
    andi
    ngint
    her
    oom.

    Whoev
    ert
    heyar
    e,cl
    ear
    sthei
    rthr
    oat
    .
    Me:
    “Randy
    .”

    Anot
    herdesper
    atewhi
    sper,
    hegroansandmov
    esf
    rom me,
    pul
    l
    ingmeupwi
    thhi
    m.Hedoesnot
    l
    ookli
    keahappyman,Ifi
    nditabitf
    unny.

    Wet urnt
    oseeay ounggi
    rl
    ,pr
    obabl
    yinherl
    atet
    eeny
    ear
    s.Shest
    andswi
    thherhandspast
    edon
    herhipsandagentl
    ysmil
    eonherface.

    “
    But,car
    ryonandpr
    etendIam noti
    nther
    oom.I
    ’
    llj
    ustst
    andher
    eandwat
    ch,
    thi
    sisbet
    tert
    han
    Nol
    l
    ywood.”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    thi
    sist
    het
    ypeoft
    hingy
    ouwat
    chonTV?Doesmot
    herknowt
    hisorshoul
    dIt
    ell
    her
    ?”

    Hepusheshi
    shandsi
    nthepocketofhi
    sjeans,
    ashequest
    ions.

    “
    Shewat
    chesi
    twi
    thme,
    inf
    act
    ,she’
    stheonewhogotmeaddi
    cted.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Wel
    l
    ,may
    beIshoul
    dsendy
    out
    oboar
    dingschool
    .”

    “
    Tool
    ate,
    yourf
    atherbeaty
    out
    oit
    .”

    Sheresponds,
    Istandbesidehi
    m confused,wi
    thathuddi
    nghear
    tandmybloodpressur
    e
    sl
    owingdown.Thehotflashesaresti
    l
    l t
    hreat
    eni
    ngmeandIcanonlythi
    nkofhi
    ding.Theyar
    e
    havi
    ngast r
    angeconver
    sat i
    onandIcan’tmakeoutwhati
    t’sr
    eal
    l
    yabout
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    feany
    i?”

    Hermout
    hfor
    msawi
    desmi
    l
    e.

    I
    fe:
    “Int
    hef
    lesh.
    ”

    Herushest oher,put
    shishandsonherwai standswoopsherup.Hetwir
    lsherar
    oundasshe
    gi
    ggleslikeachil
    d,Ihaveseenhim dothi
    swi t
    hLiyana.Hepl
    acesherdownandpull
    sheri
    ntoan
    emotionalhug,Ihearhersni
    ff
    ,sof
    tl
    y .

    I
    fe:
    “Whatki
    ndofabr
    otherar
    eyou,
    leav
    inghi
    ssi
    sterbehi
    nd?
    ”

    Sheexpr
    esses,
    whi
    l
    ehol
    dingont
    ohi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    twasn’
    tmyi
    ntent
    iont
    ohur
    tyou.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Wel
    lyoudi
    dbut
    ,that
    ’sal
    li
    nthepast
    .”

    Shepul
    l
    soutandwi
    peshert
    ear
    s.

    I
    fe:
    “Iknowy
    ou’
    rehappyt
    oseemebr
    otherbut
    ,cont
    rol
    youremot
    ions.
    ”

    Shelaughsthr
    oughhert
    ear
    s,Randal
    lshakeshi
    shead.Iam y
    et,
    toseehi
    mlaughorsmi
    l
    e
    genuinel
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :"You’
    rest
    il
    lfor
    war
    d,Isee.Lastt
    imeIsawy
    ou,
    youwer
    est
    il
    lsucki
    ngy
    ourt
    humband
    t
    rai
    l
    ingbehi
    ndmot
    herwi
    thy
    ourgr
    iponherski
    rt
    .”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Ihav
    egr
    own.
    ”

    Shet
    wir
    lsf
    orhi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“And,
    youl
    ookl
    i
    key
    ourmot
    her
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Onl
    ypr
    ett
    ier
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwon’
    ttel
    li
    fyoudon’
    t.
    ”

    Shel
    aughs.

    I
    fe:“
    Myl i
    psar
    eseal
    ed,
    thatwomanhassnowwhi
    tet
    endenci
    es.Shewon’
    tleav
    ethemi
    rr
    or
    al
    one.”

    Randal
    l
    :“It
    houghtshewoul
    dgr
    owoutofi
    t.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “That
    ’sMr
    s.Okol
    i
    efory
    ou.
    ”

    Herey
    esf
    all
    onmeandshesmi
    l
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Who’
    sthat
    ?”

    Shemov
    esawayf
    rom hi
    m andmar
    chest
    ome.

    I
    fe:
    “Hi
    .”

    Sheext
    endsherhand,
    she’
    sabubbl
    yone.

    I
    fe:
    “If
    eany
    iOkol
    i
    e.Youcancal
    lmeI
    fe,
    ify
    oul
    i
    ke.Iam Randy
    ’sf
    ir
    stl
    ove.
    ”

    Shei
    ntr
    oduces.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a,Iguess,
    I’
    m hi
    ssecondl
    ove.
    ”

    Thatj
    ustsli
    ppedoutofmymout
    h,Ir
    unmyey
    esatRandal
    landhesi
    mper
    s,l
    ooki
    ngsel
    f-
    sat
    isf
    ied.

    I
    fe:
    “You’
    recut
    e.”

    Shest
    ates,
    smi
    l
    ing.

    I
    fe:
    “Di
    dyouheart
    hatbr
    other
    ?Mypl
    acei
    nyourl
    i
    fei
    ssecur
    ed.
    ”

    Randal
    lwal
    ksupt
    ous,
    scowl
    i
    ngsof
    tl
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“We’
    l
    ljustl
    ety
    oubel
    i
    evet
    hat
    .”

    Het
    easesandshel
    aughs,
    aft
    err
    oll
    i
    ngherey
    es.

    Wesett
    ledownonthecouch,
    shesit
    snexttoRandal
    lwit
    hherar
    m aroundhi
    sandherheadon
    hi
    sshoul
    der.I
    ’
    m onthef
    arendofthecouch,hest
    ret
    cheshi
    shandtotakemineandshi
    ft
    sto
    meabi
    t.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howdi
    dyougether
    e?”

    I
    fe:
    “Icamewi
    thar
    gya,
    he’
    satt
    hehot
    elwi
    th.
    ..
    ”(Fat
    her
    .)

    Shepauses,r
    aisesherheadt
    oleeratme.Isenset
    hatshewant
    stosaysomet
    hingbut
    ,noti
    n
    mypresence.

    Inot
    icet
    hatRandal
    l
    ’sf
    aci
    alexpr
    essi
    onhaschanged.

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a,t
    hisi
    sthebabyoft
    hef
    ami
    l
    y.”

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m notababy
    .”

    Randal
    l:“Shehasasmartmout
    h,don’
    tmi
    ndher.I
    fyoufeel
    li
    key
    ou’
    reannoy
    edbyher
    tal
    kat
    ivenessplease,
    dot
    ell
    her
    ,orshewi
    l
    lnev
    erstop.
    ”

    Icanonl
    ylaughathi
    swor
    ds.

    NOMBULELO*

    Theridehomewasquiet
    ,there’
    sthisawkwardnessbet
    weenus.Thi
    sisafi
    rst
    ,thi
    smant al
    ksa
    l
    ot.Iguessi
    tmustbewhatt heprophet
    esssaidaboutZuma,
    Inoti
    cedhowhisfacechanged
    whenshementionedhi
    m.

    Hewentupstai
    rsandIhavebeenstandingi
    nthekit
    chen,t
    ryi
    ngtogat
    hermythoughts.Iam st
    il
    l
    baff
    ledbyev
    eryt
    hingandIcan’
    tgrasphowallofthi
    sishappeni
    ngtome.Thefactt
    hatMbuso
    coul
    dbecursedbecauseofme,doesn’tsi
    twell
    withme.

    “
    What
    every
    ou’
    remaki
    ng,
    Iwoul
    dli
    kesomet
    oo.
    ”

    It
    urnt
    oMbuso’
    svoi
    ceandIr
    eal
    i
    zet
    hat
    ,I’
    m hol
    dingal
    oafofbr
    ead.

    Me:
    “Br
    eadandf
    ishpast
    e?”

    Hef
    rowns.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    lwai
    tforsuppert
    hanks.
    ”

    Hewal
    ksupt
    omeashesay
    sthi
    s,Iwantt
    olaughbut
    ,myhear
    tisheav
    y.Hest
    opsbef
    oreme.

    Mbuso:“
    Idon’
    tcar
    ewhatt
    hepr
    ophet
    esssai
    d,Iam notl
    ett
    ingy
    ougoLel
    oandnoonei
    staki
    ng
    youawayfr
    om me.”

    Iknowwher
    ethi
    siscomi
    ngf
    rom.

    Me:
    “Byany
    one,
    youmeanZuma?
    ”

    Hegl
    aresatme.
    Mbuso:
    “Imeanany
    one.
    ”

    Me: “
    Mbuso,Iwil
    lnev
    ergobackt
    ohim.Idon’
    tcar
    eifhedi
    dal
    loft
    hatwi
    l
    li
    ngl
    yorunderacur
    se,
    I
    ’m herewi
    thyou.Thi
    siswher
    eIwantt
    obe.”

    Iassur
    ehi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “Itbet
    terbe.
    ”

    He’
    sgoi
    ngbackt
    otheMbusoIknow.

    Mbuso:“Or,Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndt
    hatwi
    tchandaskhert
    oteachmebl
    ackmagi
    cso,
    Icanmaket
    hatf
    ool
    di
    sappear.
    ”

    And,
    he’
    sback.

    Me:
    “Nah,
    badj
    oke.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Real
    l
    y?”

    Hemakesaf
    ace.

    Inod,
    smi
    l
    ing.

    Mbuso:
    “Dammi
    t,j
    ustwhenIt
    houghtIwasget
    ti
    ngbet
    ter
    .Iwasr
    eadyt
    ojoi
    nTr
    evorNoah.
    ”

    Il
    augh,
    thi
    sist
    heMbusoIknow.Hewel
    comesaser
    iousl
    ook.

    Mbuso:
    “Wewi
    l
    lfi
    ghtt
    hist
    oget
    herLel
    o,Ipr
    omi
    se.Wewi
    l
    lfi
    ghtt
    hiscur
    seandwhoev
    ert
    his
    womanis.
    ”

    Ibel
    i
    evehi
    m.

    Me:
    “And,
    yourmot
    her
    .”

    Hesi
    ghsandsl
    oucheshi
    sbody
    ,hi
    shandsdangl
    i
    ngi
    nai
    r.Ican’
    thel
    pbut
    ,laugh.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m al
    readydr
    ained.
    ”

    Hemocks.

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    sheknowst
    haty
    ou’
    renott
    hef
    atheroft
    hebaby
    .”

    Het
    akesmyhandi
    ntohi
    s.

    Mbuso:“Whoeversai
    dGokuisnotmysoni sali
    ar.Idon’
    twanttoheart
    hesewordscomeoutof
    yourmouthLel
    o.Ihavecommitt
    edmy sel
    ftoyouandev er
    ythi
    ngyoucomewith,
    Gokuwil
    lnot
    knowthatIam nothi
    sfat
    herunt
    ilhei
    sofage.”

    Deep.

    Me:
    “Youspeakoff
    orev
    er?
    ”

    Isayi
    tinaf
    orm ofaquest
    ionj
    usti
    ncase,
    I’
    m bei
    ngt
    oof
    orwar
    d.
    Mbuso:
    “Yout
    hinkt
    hisi
    sagame?Gi
    rly
    ougotmehooked.
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    sret
    ort
    .

    Me:
    “MbusoXaba,
    youar
    eonecr
    azyman.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Ihav
    ebeencal
    l
    edmanyt
    hingsi
    nli
    fe,
    thi
    sisnotnew.
    ”

    Hecl
    owns.

    Mbuso:
    “YouknowI
    ’
    vegoty
    our
    ight
    ?”

    Inod,
    wehar
    dlyev
    erhav
    etheseser
    iousmoment
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Comeher
    e.”

    Heenf
    oldsmei
    nhi
    sar
    ms.Wehav
    eal
    ongwayt
    ogo.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    75*

    NTOMBI
    *

    Someonecalledthepoli
    ceuponhearingagunshot, Isuspectt
    hatgossiperMar
    tha.Shealway
    s
    hasherheadov ermyfence.Ican’
    tbeli
    evemybrothershotatme.I fhehadmov edhishandan
    i
    nch,t
    hebulletwould’
    vehitme.Jonasisoutsi
    detalkingtothepol
    ice,Iwishhewouldstandup
    forme,t
    hewayhedoesf orMhambi .

    Mhambi’sgunisr
    egist
    ered,Jonasexplai
    nedthatitwentoffwhenMhambi wascleani
    ngit.
    Maybeanightinj
    ail
    willdohim good.Mosesissleepi
    ng,inourroom.Ev eni
    nhissleephekeeps
    chant
    inghissi
    nsandcalli
    ngouttoNkosiyabo,It
    hinkIshouldcallupontheButhel
    eziancest
    ors
    andaskthem t
    opardonmyhusband.IknowMosesi snotperf
    ectbut ,
    thatmanismyhusband.

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    ,tomor
    rowmor
    ningIwanty
    ouandPet
    uni
    aoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    acackl
    esl
    oudl
    y.

    Petunia:
    “Wear
    enotl
    eavi
    ngNt
    ombi
    ,khohl
    wasi
    si.Angi
    m’boni
    minauAmar
    ala.
    ”(For
    geti
    t,I
    don’tseeAmar
    aher
    e.)

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tcar
    ePet
    uni
    a,Leav
    emyhouse.Wheny
    ourdar
    li
    ngAmar
    acomesback,
    Iwi
    l
    lsendher
    t
    oyou.
    ”

    Mhambi
    thi
    nkshecanshootatmeandgetawaywi
    thi
    t?

    Mhambi:
    “Ntombi
    ,ngi
    yakuthandasisi
    ,kodwauzof
    akabuhl
    unguwena.Ial
    readyseey
    ourend
    andi
    t’
    snotgood.
    ”(Il
    oveyoumysi sterbut
    ,youwi
    lldi
    eapai
    nful
    death.
    )

    Me:
    “Mhambi
    you’
    recur
    singme?
    ”

    Mhambi
    :“Iam notcur
    singy
    ouNt
    ombi
    ,thi
    sist
    het
    rut
    h.Youwi
    l
    lpayf
    orwhaty
    ouandMoses
    di
    d.”

    Hy
    pocr
    it
    e.

    Me:
    “Whataboutwhaty
    oudi
    dMhambi
    ?”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Whatdi
    dhedo?
    ”

    Me:“Heal
    mostkil
    l
    edmeandt
    hati
    sacr
    ime.Ihav
    eagoodmi
    ndt
    ogooutt
    her
    eandt
    ell
    the
    pol
    i
    cethetr
    uth.
    ”

    Mhambi
    :“You’
    readi
    sgr
    acet
    othef
    ami
    l
    y.”

    Hesnapsatme.

    Zakhel
    e:"
    Let
    'scal
    m down,
    fight
    ingli
    ket
    hiswil
    lnotsol
    veany
    thing.What
    ’sdonei
    sdone.What
    weneedtodonowi scomeupwi t
    hasolut
    ion,
    Mosescannotremainint
    hisposi
    ti
    on.
    ”
    Njabulo:“
    Ngivumel
    ananoZakhele,
    ingakhobengi
    khul
    umanomfowet
    hunamhlanj
    e.Wehav
    e
    decidedtotakeMosesbackt
    oKZN, t
    hereisamantherewhowi
    ll
    hel
    phim.
    ”(Iagr
    eewit
    h
    Zakhele.Iwastal
    ki
    ngtomybrothertoday.
    )

    Uncl
    eNj
    abul
    ohassai
    dsomet
    hingsensi
    blef
    oronce,
    hei
    susef
    ulaf
    teral
    l
    .

    Me:
    “That
    ’sagoodi
    dea.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “No,
    it’
    snot
    .”

    Hedecl
    ares,
    ashecl
    osest
    hedoorshutandpl
    odst
    oaseat
    ..

    Jonas:“
    Niy
    amt
    handal
    oMoseswenu.Thi
    smani
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”(
    Youl
    ovet
    hisMosesof
    your
    s.)

    Zakhel
    e:“
    Youcan’
    tst
    opus.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Yout
    hink?
    ”

    Me:
    “Bhut
    iyi
    nii
    nki
    ngay
    akhov
    ele?
    ”(What
    ’sy
    ourpr
    obl
    em br
    other
    ?)

    Jonas:
    “Ungazongi
    buzaudot
    i,wenaNt
    ombi
    .”(
    Don’
    taskmeshi
    t.
    )

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    youcan’
    tseewhat
    ’shappeni
    ngher
    e?Youar
    est
    andi
    ngupf
    oranabuser
    .”

    Me:“NoPet
    uni
    a,Iam st
    andingupf
    ormyhusband.Mi
    nanoMoses,
    siy
    ofas’
    l
    ahl
    ane.My
    husbandwi
    l
    lbeokay.
    ”(Ti
    lldeat
    hdousapar
    t.)

    Jonas:“
    Kant
    iumendouso?Mhambi
    ,ani
    sangi
    tshel
    i
    ?”(
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    met
    hatmar
    ri
    agei
    s
    l
    ikethi
    s?)

    Mhambi:“
    ChaJonas,udl
    isi
    wel
    omunt
    u.Ay
    ikhol
    endabay
    akhenoMoses.
    ”(Shewasgi
    venal
    ove
    por
    ti
    on.Thi
    sisi
    nsane.)

    Moses:“Akadl
    isi
    weuNtombiMhambi.Angazi
    ngoPetu,
    Pet
    u,ngobahayiuyal
    i
    thandaIkishil
    ami
    .
    Thewayt oaman’shearti
    sthr
    oughhi
    sstomachandPetui
    sli
    vinguptoit
    ,inmykitchen,
    cooki
    ngmyf ood.Howmuchdoy oueatMhambi?”(
    Shewasn’
    tfedaloveport
    ion,
    Idon’tknow
    aboutPetuni
    awhoshelovesmykit
    chen.)

    Whendi
    dhewakeup?Thenagai
    n,henev
    ersl
    eepsf
    orhour
    s.

    Jonas:
    “Yohangeke,
    Zakhel
    ekhuzani
    bo.
    ”(War
    nhi
    m.)

    Mosesset
    tl
    esnextt
    oNj
    abul
    o.

    Moses:
    “Jonasbuka.
    ”(Look.
    )

    Heshowshi
    mthescaronhi
    sfor
    ehead,
    Jonasf
    rownsathi
    m.

    Moses:“
    Ntombi di
    dthi
    stome.Yohunamandl
    alomfazi,yi
    mbokodo.Ungamboniezacil
    e.She’
    s
    abul
    lfi
    ghtert
    hisone.
    ”(Thi
    swomanisstr
    ong,
    she’
    sar ock.Don’
    tlethersmal
    lbodyfoolyou.
    )

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Kwasukal
    okhu.
    ”(Her
    ewego.
    )
    Me:
    “Moses,
    let
    ’sgot
    obed.
    ”

    Moses:
    “ChaNt
    ombi
    ,I
    ’mt
    ell
    i
    ngmyi
    n-l
    awsabouty
    ouhau.
    ”(No.
    )

    Hedi
    smi
    ssesme.

    Moses:
    “Mhambi
    awusho,
    uPet
    uukewakubekai
    sandl
    a?”(
    HasPet
    uni
    aev
    erhi
    tyou?
    )

    Mhambi
    :“Idon’
    thav
    eti
    mef
    ort
    his.
    ”

    Hecl
    i
    ckshi
    stongue,
    get
    supandwal
    kst
    ohi
    sroom.

    Moses:“Ohho.Ngi zoxoxelawenakeJonas.I t’
    si mportantthatyouknowthetypeofawoman
    yoursi
    steris.UNtombi l
    o, engam’lobol
    angenkomoezi yiseven.KodwaJonas,uzocel
    aisi
    baya
    sonke?Lalelaphela,l
    omf aziuyadelel
    a.AkangiboniuNtombi .”(I
    ’
    llt
    ell
    Jonasthestory
    .Ipai
    da
    bri
    depri
    ceofsev encowsandNt ombi isdi
    srespectful
    .)

    Thi
    sfool
    …

    Youwoul
    dthi
    nkhewasgi
    venat
    rut
    hser
    um.

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ?”

    Me:
    “Yi
    nibhut
    i.Thi
    sisy
    ourdoi
    ng,
    deal
    wit
    hit
    .”(
    Whatbr
    other
    ?)

    Moses: “
    Malum’uNj
    abulo.I
    t’
    sagoodthingthatyou’
    reher
    e,ukhonaumuntuesengim’
    boni
    le.
    Isphal
    aphal
    aseNtombi.UMashotowami,eeyy,l
    owamfazi
    .Youshouldseeherwhenshewalks,
    kunyakazaumhl
    aba.”
    (Ihavefoundabeauti
    fulwoman,myMashot o.Theear
    thshakeswhenshe
    walks.
    )

    Mosesdoesnotr
    espectme.Howdar
    ehedot
    hist
    ome?

    Hav
    eInotbeenembar
    rassedenough?

    Me:
    “ungi
    j
    way
    elakabi
    wenaMoses.Uz
    ony
    ayezwa?
    ”(You’
    redi
    srespect
    ingmeMoses.
    )

    Ishoutathi
    m.

    Nj
    abul
    o:“
    Habe!Makot
    i.
    ”(Real
    l
    y?Myi
    n-l
    aw?
    )

    Me:“
    Hayimal
    ume,ngi
    khathel
    emi
    nangoMoses.Al
    lhedoesi
    scheatonmeandIhav
    etoputup
    wi
    thi
    t.”(
    I’
    mti
    redofMoses.)

    Moses:“Uyabonamal
    ume,
    ngi
    shi
    l
    oukut
    hiuNt
    ombi
    uyadel
    ela.
    ”(Idi
    dsayt
    hatNt
    ombi
    is
    di
    srespect
    ful.
    )

    Me:
    “Br
    ingMashot
    otot
    hishouseandIwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lher
    ,tr
    ymeMoses,
    tryme.
    ”

    Ishout
    .

    Jonas:
    “UMashot
    owenzeni
    Ntombi
    ?It
    ’sy
    ourhusbandwhocan’
    tseem t
    okeephi
    spant
    sdown.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Athi
    ukhat
    hel
    engoMoses.
    ”(Shesay
    s,she’
    sti
    redofMoses.
    )

    Shecackl
    es.
    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    But,youcont
    inuetoprot
    ecthi
    m.Dowelookl
    ikef
    oolst
    oy ouNtombi
    ?Youseem t
    obe
    enj
    oyi
    ngt
    his,
    you’r
    ebusyhidingbehi
    ndMoses’
    potbel
    l
    y,pl
    ayi
    ngtheperf
    ectwi
    fe.
    ”

    Me:
    “Atl
    eastIst
    andupf
    ormyhusband.
    ”

    Petuni
    a:“Pl
    ease,ngiy
    akucel
    a.Stopusi
    ngthatt
    it
    le,youmi ghtaswel
    ltakeadogfr
    om t
    hestreet
    s
    andcalli
    tyourhusband.Awushadil
    ewenaNtombi ,
    mar r
    iageisabeauti
    ful
    thi
    ngandIdon’
    t
    knowwhatt ocal
    l t
    histhi
    ngyouhavewithMoses.”(You’
    renotmarri
    ed.)

    Me:
    “Yourt
    ruecol
    our
    skeepr
    eveal
    i
    ngt
    hemsel
    vesPet
    uni
    a,y
    ouar
    eanev
    ilwoman.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Uthi
    ni?
    ”(Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?)

    Sheshout
    satme.

    Me:
    “Youhear
    dme.
    ”

    Ir
    etor
    t.

    Zakhel
    e:“
    Thi
    sisbey
    ondme,
    Idon’
    tknowany
    mor
    e.”

    Igr
    abMoseshand.

    Me:
    “Asambewena.
    ”(Let
    ’sgo.
    )

    Hel
    aughsasheget
    sup,
    wedepar
    ttoourr
    oom.

    RANDALL*

    IknewAmar awasmi net


    ohav ethemomentIlai
    deyesonher,
    myneedforherhasgr
    ownaft
    er
    l
    astnight.Iwantedtoconquerherbodyandf
    inal
    lymakeherminet
    ocl
    aim but
    ,shewasf
    eebl
    e,
    asshetrembl edinmyarms.

    Icoul
    dn’texposehertomyhugeframe,soIopt
    edforadif
    fer
    entfor
    m ofpleasur
    e.Iwanthert
    o
    getusedtothefeel
    ing,shemi
    ghtappearst
    rongbut
    ,Ist
    il
    lseeherasmyfragil
    eAmar a.

    Ihadtoleaveearl
    ythi
    smor ningbecauseIknewthatIwoul
    dstr
    uggletokeepawayfrom her.I
    coul
    dhar dl
    ysleepawinklastnight,
    try
    ingt
    ofightt
    heurget
    otakeherint
    omyar ms.Iwas
    wronginthinki
    ngthat
    ,herkisseswereenough.Theygi
    vemelif
    e.But,
    Iam convi
    ncedthatthere
    i
    sat hi
    rstinmesodeept hat,itcanonl
    ybequenchedbyoursoul
    sconnecti
    ng.

    Icoul
    dhardl
    ycont
    rol
    myselfwhenIsawher
    ,asIwal
    kedt
    hrought
    hedoor
    ,ev
    ery
    thi
    ngar
    oundme
    fel
    lawayandshewasal
    lIcoul
    dsee.

    Theurgetohaveheri
    ntensif
    ied,Ibecamesel
    fi
    shasIpushedt
    ofeedt
    heneedt
    hat
    ,Ihav
    efor
    her
    .Iam sel
    fi
    shwithher,Ionlywanthert
    omy sel
    f.

    Thefactthat
    ,shesomet
    imesdr
    if
    tsawayi
    ntot
    hought
    sofherf
    ami
    l
    y,ev
    okesaki
    ndofj
    eal
    ousyI
    haveneverknown.
    Iwanthert
    oyear
    nforme,
    toneedmeandl
    etmel
    ovehert
    hewayIwoul
    d.

    Myf at
    herbei
    ngbackf r
    om Ghanaisnotagoodt hing,
    Iwishhewould’
    vestayedther
    e.Hewil
    l
    causenothi
    ngbut ,conf
    li
    ctformeandAmar a.Idon’twanttofi
    ghthi
    m but,
    ifpushcomesto
    shove,Iwi
    llf
    ightforwhatisri
    ghtf
    ull
    ymine.Ican’tcomprehendwhyheinsi
    stsonpushingt
    his
    womanonme, Iwil
    lnotgi
    veintohisways.

    Rav
    enjustcame,we’
    reseat
    edinthebacky
    ardwi
    thI
    fe.Iopt
    edf
    ort
    hispl
    aceasIdon’
    twant
    Amaratoover
    hearourconv
    ersat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Thatmannev
    erl
    i
    stens.
    ”

    Theyj
    ustt
    oldmet
    hathebr
    oughthi
    sbr
    idewi
    th.

    I
    fe:
    “Ar
    gyahasdef
    eat
    edmot
    her
    .Whoar
    eyou?
    ”(Fat
    her
    .)

    Me:
    “Hi
    sson,
    hebet
    ternotmesst
    hingsupf
    orme.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Don’
    tyouwantt
    omeether
    ,atl
    east
    ?”

    Rav
    enhasi
    ssues,
    honest
    ly.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hiswhyy
    oucamet
    omyhouse?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “I’
    mjustaski
    ngRandy
    ,IknowIwoul
    dwantt
    omeetmysupposedwi
    fe.
    ”

    Myt
    rustf
    orRav
    eni
    sbegi
    nni
    ngt
    owav
    er,
    hegi
    vest
    hatmant
    oomuchcr
    edi
    t.

    Me:“No,Rav
    .Idon’
    twanttomeether.Iwantnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thher
    ,Iwi
    l
    lel
    i
    minat
    eany
    thi
    ngt
    hat
    t
    hreatensmyrel
    ati
    onshi
    pwit
    hAmar a.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Whywouldy
    ouev
    enaskhi
    mthat
    ,Rav
    en?Thi
    sist
    hesamer
    easonhel
    eftus,
    youwanthi
    m
    t
    orunagai
    n?”

    Hermoodhaschanged.

    Me:“Ther
    ewon’
    tbeanyrunni
    ngt
    hist
    imeI
    fe,
    Iwi
    l
    lst
    andgr
    ound.Day
    sofSegun,
    cont
    rol
    l
    ingme,
    f
    ell
    away16yearsago.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Ther
    emustbeanot
    herwayf
    ory
    out
    akeupt
    het
    hroneandnotbewi
    tht
    hatwoman.
    ”

    Herwor
    dsgetmet
    hinki
    ng.

    Me:
    “Fi
    ndt
    hepr
    iestwhoper
    for
    medt
    her
    it
    ual
    andhav
    ehi
    m br
    eakt
    hecov
    enant
    .”

    Rav
    en:
    “Wher
    ewi
    l
    lwef
    indhi
    m?Nooneknowshi
    m,exceptf
    orf
    ather
    .”

    Me:“Nanasai
    dsomethi
    ngtomewhenIwasinacomma,onl
    yAmar
    awi
    l
    lhel
    pmer
    ule.That
    ,
    wi
    thouther
    ,Iwil
    ll
    osemysel
    fandnot
    hingwi
    l
    lgor
    ightf
    orme.
    ”

    If
    e:“
    Amarai
    sforyoubrot
    her,cl
    earl
    ythegodsgav
    ehert
    oyou.Idon’
    tunder
    standwhyar
    gyai
    s
    sohunguponthatwoman.”(
    Father
    .)

    Whocanev
    erunder
    standt
    het
    hingshedoes?Hei
    sadi
    ctat
    oraf
    teral
    landdoesn’
    tcar
    eabout
    any
    one’
    sopi
    nion.

    I
    fe:
    “Tel
    lmebr
    other
    .Howdi
    dyoucour
    tAmar
    a?”

    Me:
    “Cour
    t?”

    I
    fe:
    “Gosh!Don’
    ttel
    lme,
    youdon’
    tknowt
    hatawomanhast
    obepur
    suedbef
    orey
    oucl
    aim her
    .
    Howdidyoutwoenduptoget
    her
    ?”

    Me:
    “It
    ’snoneofy
    ourbusi
    ness.
    ”

    I
    fe:“Br
    othercomeon,
    pleaset
    ell
    me.Iwantal
    lthedet
    ail
    s,Iwantt
    oknowhowr
    omant
    icmy
    brot
    heris.
    ”

    Rav
    enl
    aughs.

    I
    fet
    alkst
    oomuch.

    Rav
    en:
    "UzeandRomance?That
    ’sl
    i
    kewat
    erandoi
    l
    .”

    I
    fer
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    I
    fe:“
    Ohplease,notev
    ery
    onei
    sli
    key
    ou.Besi
    des,
    hegr
    ewupher
    eandIhearSout
    hAf
    ri
    canmen
    ar
    eromantic.
    ”

    Idoubtt
    hisi
    sar
    ightconv
    ersat
    iont
    ohav
    ewi
    thasev
    ent
    eeny
    earol
    d.

    Me:
    “Whatmen?Ar
    eyoul
    ooki
    ngatmennowI
    fe?
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    I
    fe:“
    Arghbr
    otherpl
    ease,
    Iam at
    eenagerandmyhor
    monesar
    eact
    ive.Shootmef
    orbei
    ng
    human.”

    Raven:
    “ Myfri
    endshutup.Whathormones?Idon’
    tbl
    amey
    ou,
    Ibl
    amey
    ourmot
    her
    .These
    tel
    enovelasar
    egett
    ingint
    oyourhead.
    ”

    Hesnapsatheri
    nannoy
    ance.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easet
    ell
    mef
    athersenty
    out
    oaconv
    ent
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Whywoul
    dhedot
    hat
    ?It
    ’sbadenought
    hatIwassentt
    oaboar
    dingschool
    .”

    Shepout
    s.

    Me:
    “Rav
    ,tal
    ktoy
    oursi
    ster
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Pl
    ease,
    Iam okay
    .”

    Shecompl
    ains.

    If
    e:“
    Ican’
    tsaythesameaboutyou.Youknowagir
    lisnotyoursunt
    ily
    ouact
    ual
    l
    ywooherand
    expr
    essyourundyi
    nglov
    eforher,
    other
    wiseyouar
    esingl
    ebr ot
    her.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowt
    hisl
    anguagey
    ouspeakI
    fe.WhatIknowi
    sthatAmar
    aismi
    ne,
    pur
    suedor
    not
    .”

    I
    fe:“
    Argh,Ifeelsor
    ryf
    orher
    .Imagi
    neaguycl
    aimi
    ngy
    out
    obehi
    s,andhedi
    dn’
    tev
    enwor
    kto
    getyou.That’
    sbori
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Bor
    ingi
    sthatmout
    hofy
    our
    sthat
    ,won’
    tkeepshut
    .”

    “
    Uze,
    youhav
    eav
    isi
    tor
    .”

    It
    urnt
    oChi
    oma’
    svoi
    ce,
    toseeMkhont
    ost
    andi
    ngnextt
    oher
    .

    Whyi
    sher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Excuseme.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngokay
    ?”

    Nott
    hatIwoul
    dtel
    lhi
    mifi
    twer
    en’
    t,
    he’
    smyf
    ather
    ’sst
    ooge.

    Hav
    ingnoanswerf
    orRav
    en,
    Iwal
    kupt
    oMkhont
    o.

    Me:
    “You,
    inmyhousecannotbegood.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Awor
    d?”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sway
    .”

    Hef
    oll
    owsmet
    othepat
    io.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Mkhi
    zeappr
    oachedmet
    oday
    .”

    Hei
    ntr
    oducesaswegett
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “Isee.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Hewant
    stobr
    ingy
    oudown.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notsur
    pri
    sed.

    Me:
    “And,
    hewant
    syout
    odoi
    t?”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Yes,
    he’
    saf
    tert
    hel
    i
    ttl
    emi
    ss.Idon’
    tknowwhathe’
    spl
    anni
    ngbut
    ,itseemsbi
    g.”

    JustwhenIt
    houghtt
    heol
    dmanhadgr
    ownt
    ir
    ed.

    Me:
    “Thatsonofabi
    tch,
    hebet
    ternotbeey
    eingmychi
    l
    d.Iwi
    l
    lpl
    uckhi
    sey
    esout
    .”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Idoubthewant
    stomakeherhi
    swi
    fe.
    ”

    Me:
    “Expl
    ain.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Iov
    erhear
    dhi
    m sayt
    hat
    ,hewi
    l
    lmakeheraki
    l
    li
    ngmachi
    ne,
    shewi
    l
    lbet
    heonet
    oki
    l
    l
    you.
    ”

    Me:
    “Bl
    oodycowar
    d.Whatabouty
    ou?
    ”
    Hef
    rowns.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Whataboutme?
    ”

    Me:“
    Mkhizeobv
    iousl
    ypr
    omi
    sedt
    opayy
    ouhandsomel
    y,webot
    hknowy
    ouneedt
    hemoney
    .
    Whysni
    tch?”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Let
    ’sj
    ustsayI
    ’
    m notaf
    anofsnakes,
    Idon’
    ttr
    usthi
    m.”

    Me:
    “Isee.
    ”

    Mkhonto:
    “I’
    m seri
    ousScar,
    Iwil
    lnott
    akethi
    sdeal
    .Icameheretowarnyou,
    thatol
    dmani
    s
    hungr
    yforrevenge.Isawi
    tinhi
    seyesandhewil
    ldoanyt
    hingtotast
    eit
    .”

    He’
    sri
    ght
    ,Icannev
    erunder
    est
    imat
    eMkhi
    ze.

    Me:
    “Thanksf
    ort
    heheadsup,
    Iwon’
    tfor
    gett
    his.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Shosho.
    ”

    Het
    urnsandbegi
    nst
    owal
    kaway
    .

    Me:
    “Youwon’
    tnamey
    ourpr
    ice?
    ”

    Hest
    opsandl
    ooksatme.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Justl
    oyal
    tyScar
    ,Iknowoneday
    ,Iwi
    l
    lneedaf
    avourf
    rom y
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Fai
    renough.
    ”

    Henodsandcont
    inuest
    owal
    kaway
    ,Ihav
    etocal
    lSt
    yles.

    KHETHU*

    Me:
    “Whatar
    ewedoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Myfat
    herjustpul
    ledupoutsidehishouse.Ican’
    tgobacki nt
    ot hathouse, consi
    deringthewayI
    l
    eft
    .NobayeniandIhadahugef ightaboutStyl
    esandpainfulwor dswer esaid,wordsthatcan
    nev
    erbetakenback.Now, Iam backhereanditisembarrassi
    ngf orme.Ihav efai
    l
    edt okeepa
    manandNobay eniwi
    llt
    hrowherf avour
    it
    ewor dsinmyface, ‘
    Itoldy ouso’
    .

    Dad:
    “Thi
    sisy
    ourhouseangel
    .”

    Me:
    “No,
    thi
    sisNobay
    eni
    ’
    shouse.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Don’
    tyout
    hinki
    t’
    sti
    mey
    out
    womaket
    hingsr
    ight
    ?Shei
    syourmot
    herKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    thherandIam notgoi
    ngi
    nthathouse.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs.
    Dad:
    “Khet
    huIam t
    ir
    ed,
    okay
    ?Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwantf
    rom me,
    I’
    mtr
    yingt
    ohel
    pyouher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouwantt
    ohel
    pmedadt
    hen,
    giv
    ememySt
    ylesback.
    ”

    Myhear
    tisshat
    ter
    edandnooneunder
    standsi
    t.

    Dad:
    “Hedoesn’
    twanty
    ouany
    mor
    e.”

    Me:“Don’tt
    ell
    met hatdad,hel
    ovesme,
    Iknowhedoes.We’
    regoi
    ngt
    hroughar
    oughpat
    ch,
    it
    happens.Norelat
    ionshipisper
    fect
    .”

    Ther
    eisst
    il
    lthi
    shopei
    nsi
    demet
    hat
    ,St
    yleswi
    l
    lcomebackt
    ome.

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hu,
    ift
    hatmanl
    ovesy
    ou,
    hewoul
    dn’
    thav
    ethr
    owny
    ououtofhi
    shouse.
    ”

    Me:
    “St
    ylesdi
    dn’
    tthr
    owmeout
    ,itwasRandal
    l
    .Thi
    sisal
    lhi
    sfaul
    t.
    ”

    Isi
    tbackandf
    oldmyar
    msacr
    ossmychest
    ,Icanf
    eel
    hisgazeonme.

    Dad:
    “I’
    vehadenough,
    getoutoft
    hecar
    .”

    Hecommands,
    fir
    mly
    .

    Me:
    “Isai
    d,Iam notgoi
    ngi
    nthathouse.Takemebackt
    oSt
    yles.
    ”

    Hej
    umpsoutoft
    hecar
    ,rushest
    omysi
    deandpul
    l
    smeout
    ,af
    teropeni
    ngt
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Dadno,
    letmego.
    ”

    “
    You’
    reback?
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    utt
    ersassheappear
    sthr
    ought
    hegar
    agedoor
    .Ir
    oll
    myey
    esather
    .

    Me:
    “Dad,
    canIhav
    eyourcarkey
    s.”

    Ineedt
    ogetoutofher
    e.

    Dad:
    “Why
    ?”

    Me:
    “Justgi
    vemet
    hekey
    s.”

    Ir
    aisemyv
    oiceathi
    m,Nobay
    eni
    chor
    tl
    es.

    Dad:
    “Whydoy
    ouhav
    etobesodi
    ff
    icul
    t?Letmehel
    pyouKhet
    hu.
    ”

    I
    sheki
    ddi
    ngme?

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tneedhel
    pdad,
    theonl
    ythi
    ngIneedr
    ightnowi
    sSt
    yles.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Woul
    dyoust
    op?Iam t
    ir
    edofhear
    ingt
    hatname.
    ”

    Nobayeni
    :“Whathashappenedt
    oyouBri
    dgett
    e?Youar
    enott
    hesameper
    sont
    hatl
    eftt
    his
    houseyear
    sago,it
    ’sasifl
    if
    ehasdeal
    twi
    thyou.”

    Whoi
    sshe,
    tot
    alk?
    Me:“Youhappenedt
    omeNobayeni
    ,youdidthi
    stome.Youbr okemewi
    thy
    ourl
    ackofl
    ove,
    you
    t
    reat
    edmel i
    keIwasthewor
    stt
    hingthathaseverhappenedt
    oy ou.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Thi
    sisr
    ich,
    you’
    rebl
    ami
    ngmef
    ory
    ourf
    ail
    ures.
    ”

    Me: “Iam bl
    ami
    ngyou,Ihav
    etrustissuesbecauseofyou.Ihav
    ealwaysbeenaf
    rai
    dthatSt
    yles
    wil
    lleavemeandbecauseofthat,Icouldn’
    tbethebestf
    orhim.Icoul
    dn’
    tlov
    ehimthewayhe
    deservedtobel
    oved.
    ”

    Nobay
    eni
    :“Oh,
    Bri
    dgett
    e.Youar
    eyourf
    ather
    ’schi
    ld,
    hewasahy
    pocr
    it
    etoo,
    youknow?Thought
    hewasbet
    tert
    hanever
    yoneandhedamnedwalkeditt
    oo.
    ”

    Dad:
    “KHETHU!
    !!
    ”

    Heshout
    s,ashecatchesNobayeni
    ,aft
    erIhavepunchedher
    .She’
    shol
    dingherey
    e,whi
    l
    e
    gl
    ari
    ngatme.Ithappenedsof
    ast,herwordsmademesoangr y.

    Dad:
    “Whathav
    eyoudone?Whatt
    hehel
    li
    swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    s.

    Me:
    “Youpeopl
    ear
    ewhat
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thme,
    Ihat
    eyouandIdon’
    tneedy
    ou.
    ”

    Ishoutbef
    oregr
    abbi
    ngmybagf
    rom t
    hecar
    .I’
    m get
    ti
    ngoutofher
    e.

    Nobay
    eni
    :“That
    ’sr
    ight
    ,run.I
    t’
    sal
    lyouev
    erdoany
    way
    .”

    Shey
    ell
    saf
    terme,
    asIwal
    kaway
    .

    Dad:
    “Khet
    hucomeback,
    don’
    tleav
    eli
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iam donedad.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    back.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    76*

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “Whenar
    eyougoi
    ngbackt
    oPr
    etor
    ia?
    ”

    Neohasmovedi
    n,hedi
    dn’
    taskmei
    fhecoul
    d.Theguycamewi
    thabagandchoseabedr
    oom
    f
    orhi
    mself
    .

    Neo:
    “Youdon’
    twantmeany
    mor
    e?”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twanty
    ou?
    ”

    If
    rownathi
    m,hegi
    vesmeast
    rangel
    ook.

    Neo:“
    AiSty
    los,
    siesman.Thet
    hingsyouenter
    tai
    nint
    hatmindofyours.I
    tshoul
    dbeil
    legal
    .
    Anyway,
    Ican’
    tgotoUze’
    shouse.ThewholeofGhanaist
    here,
    hisfat
    herisscar
    yyouknow.”

    Heexpl
    ainshi
    sreasonf
    orbei
    ngi
    nmyhouse.

    Me:
    “So,
    yout
    houghti
    tbestt
    ocomeandt
    akeov
    ermyki
    tchen.
    ”

    He’
    scooki
    ngpap,
    ort
    ryi
    ngt
    orat
    her
    .Idon’
    tknowi
    fitshoul
    dsmel
    ll
    iket
    his.

    Neo:
    “Khet
    hui
    sgone,
    other
    wiset
    hiski
    tchenwi
    l
    lbeabandoned.
    ”

    Her
    emi
    ndsme,
    Ican’
    tthi
    nkaboutherr
    ightnow.Shei
    sasensi
    ti
    vet
    opi
    c.

    Icl
    earmyt
    hroat
    .

    Me:
    “Li
    sten,
    I’
    m goi
    ngoutf
    orawhi
    l
    e.”

    Neo:
    “ToseeUze?
    ”

    Me:
    “Myl
    i
    fedoesnotr
    evol
    vear
    oundRandal
    l
    .”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Neo:“Whot ol
    dy outhat
    ?Wenal eUzengamat
    henoli
    mi.YouknowKhethuwaski
    ndofri
    ghti
    n
    way,bybeingjealousofyourf
    ri
    endshi
    p.Yout
    wocan’
    tstayawayf
    rom eachot
    her
    .”(
    Youand
    Randal
    lareinseparabl
    e.)

    Hedoesn’
    tknowwhatKet
    huandIhav
    ebeengoi
    ngt
    hrough.

    Me:
    “Youshoul
    dlear
    ntoshutupsomet
    imes,
    Neo,
    ithel
    ps.Gohi
    ki
    ngorsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Neo:“Dint
    hotsamakgoa?I
    fIwanttotakeawal k,I’
    l
    lwal
    kt ot
    hetaxi
    rank.WhymustIr i
    sk
    bophelobakabywal
    kingupahi
    llf
    ullofrocks?
    ”( Thoset
    hingsar
    eforwhitepeopl
    e.)(
    Myl i
    fe.
    )

    Igi
    veup.
    Me:
    “I’
    m out
    ,don’
    tbur
    nmyhousedown.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Whoar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    oseeSt
    ylos?
    ”

    Me:
    “Goodby
    e,Neo.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    I
    tdoesn’
    ttakel
    ongt
    ogett
    othesout
    h,i
    t’
    saSat
    urdayandt
    her
    e’sl
    esscar
    sont
    her
    oad.

    Somethi
    ngkeepsl
    eadi
    ngmet othi
    swomanandwhat ev
    eri
    tis,
    iswaybey
    ondme.Iwon’
    ttr
    yto
    fi
    ghti
    t,t
    hisi
    swhatIwant
    .Iwanttofeel
    ali
    veagai
    n.

    Iseeher
    ,she'
    sst
    andi
    ngwi
    thLebo.Shecan’
    tseemeso,
    Isneakupbehi
    ndher
    .

    Me:
    “Hey
    .”

    Iwhi
    spersof
    tl
    yinherear
    ,sheswi
    vel
    sandImeetherwi
    deey
    es.Shesi
    ghs,
    inr
    eli
    ef.

    Me:
    “Di
    dIscar
    eyou?
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    esandshakesherhead.

    Lebo:
    “Set
    hu,
    we’
    rest
    il
    lbusy
    .Cany
    ouent
    ert
    ainy
    ourv
    isi
    torl
    ater
    ?”

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    l
    lbewi
    thy
    ounow,
    youcangoahead.
    ”

    Lebor
    oll
    sherey
    esbef
    ore,
    wal
    ki
    ngof
    f.

    Set
    hu:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    eMr
    .St
    yles?
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    houghtIshoul
    dcomeseey
    ou.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m atwor
    kso,
    Ican’
    treal
    l
    ychat
    .”

    Me:
    “Iknowbut
    ,yourshi
    ftst
    art
    sat5pm,
    right
    ?”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “Gr
    eat
    ,thatgi
    vesust
    ime.
    ”

    Sheaccept
    saconf
    usedl
    ook.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ti
    mef
    orwhat
    ?”

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    otakey
    ousomewher
    e.”

    Set
    hu:
    “Ican’
    tgoany
    wher
    eatt
    hemoment
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    obel
    atef
    orwor
    k.”

    Me:
    “Youwon’
    t,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Shehesi
    tat
    es,
    herexpr
    essi
    onsay
    sshe’
    skeen.

    Set
    hu:
    “Okay
    .”

    Shesmi
    l
    es,
    Ithi
    nkIcangetusedt
    othi
    ssmi
    l
    e.
    Me:
    “Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Letmei
    nfor
    m Lebo,
    shewi
    l
    lbeupseti
    fIdon’
    ttel
    lhert
    hatI
    ’
    m goi
    ngout
    .”

    Me:
    “Shewon’
    tev
    ennot
    icet
    haty
    ou’
    regone.
    ”

    It
    akeherhand,
    shel
    eer
    sati
    t,t
    henbackatme.

    Me:
    “MayIpl
    ease,
    hol
    dyourhandMi
    ssSet
    hu?
    ”

    Shedr
    opshergazer
    eti
    cent
    ly,
    Iwi
    l
    ltaket
    hisasay
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”

    Shedi
    gs,
    aswegeti
    nthecar
    .

    Me:
    “Foxst
    reet
    .”

    Set
    hu:
    “InJobur
    g?”

    Me:
    “Yousoundsur
    pri
    sed.
    ”

    Igi
    veherabr
    iefl
    ookasIpul
    loutf
    rom t
    hepar
    kingl
    ot.

    Set
    hu:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkwewoul
    dbegoi
    ngt
    hatf
    ar.
    ”

    Sher
    esponds,
    anxi
    ousl
    y.

    Me:
    “It
    ’snotf
    ar,
    it’
    sjust10mi
    nut
    esawayf
    rom her
    e.”

    Sher
    eleasesawor
    ri
    edsi
    gh.

    Set
    hu:
    “What
    ’st
    her
    e?”

    Me:
    “Food,
    ther
    e’sapl
    acecal
    l
    edMadGi
    ant
    ,theyhav
    ethebestbur
    ger
    s.You’
    l
    llov
    ethem.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,di
    dIj
    ustscor
    emeapoi
    nt?
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esagai
    n.

    Set
    hu:
    “Sayf
    oodagai
    nandy
    ou’
    l
    lscor
    eyour
    sel
    fanot
    herpoi
    nt.
    ”

    Thi
    sact
    ual
    l
    ymakesmel
    augh.

    Me:
    “So,
    you’
    reaf
    oodi
    e?”

    Set
    hu:“Whoisn’
    t?Ther
    eissomethi
    ngint
    imat
    eaboutone’
    srel
    ati
    onshi
    pwi
    thf
    ood,
    for
    get
    pai
    nti
    ng,poet
    ryorwri
    ti
    ng.Foodi
    sart.
    ”

    Il
    eerathert
    ofi
    ndhersmi
    l
    ing,
    ther
    e’sapassi
    ononherf
    aceasi
    fshet
    alksaboutherf
    ir
    stl
    ove.

    Me:
    “Youmustr
    eal
    l
    ylov
    efood,
    then.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Iact
    ual
    l
    ywant
    edt
    obeachefbut
    ,mydadsai
    dit
    ’snotsomet
    hingIcoul
    dleant
    owar
    ds,
    car
    eerwise.Idi
    dn’
    tknowwhatelsetodoandnur
    singwast
    henexti
    nter
    est
    ingt
    hingIcoul
    dfi
    nd.
    Il
    oveitt
    oobut ,
    cul
    inar
    yismyfi
    rstlov
    e.”

    Me:
    “May
    beonedayI
    ’
    llgett
    otast
    eyourf
    ood.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es,
    shedoesal
    otoft
    hose.

    Set
    hu:
    “May
    be.
    ”

    Me:
    “We’
    reher
    e.”

    Iannounce,asItakeatur
    nintotheparkingl
    ot.I
    tdoesn’
    ttakeuslongtogetourfood,wesett
    le
    i
    nside.Iknewshewoul dl
    oveit,
    theli
    ttl
    esmileonherfacesaysi
    t.Ihaveneverseenanyoneso
    happywheneat i
    ng,it
    ’sabeaut
    iful
    sighttobehol
    d.Shestopsasshefindsmewat chingher
    ,her
    gazedrops.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “You’
    rest
    ari
    ng.
    ”

    Herdecl
    arat
    ionhasmesneer
    ing.

    Me:
    “Iwasn’
    tst
    ari
    ngaty
    oubut
    ,yourf
    ood.Iwantt
    otast
    eit
    .”

    Iexpr
    esssof
    tl
    y,herey
    esshootupt
    oleeratme.Iknewt
    hiswoul
    dgetherat
    tent
    ion.

    Set
    hu:
    “Idon’
    tshar
    emyf
    ood.
    ”

    Sherespondsnervousl
    y,assherai
    sesherhandtohermouthi
    nattemptstolickof
    fthesour
    ce
    thathasglazedt
    hetipsofherfi
    nger
    s.Igr
    abherhandtostopher
    ,hergazerisesagai
    nto
    encountermyint
    enseglance.Thi
    sti
    meherey esar
    ecoatedwi
    thintr
    over
    sion.

    Me:
    “Letmedot
    hehonour
    s.”

    Iof
    fer
    ,myv
    oicecar
    ryi
    ngasof
    ttone.

    Ibri
    nghert humbt omymout hbef or
    eshecouldpr ot
    est,want
    ingtoseeherreacti
    on,Ikeepmy
    gazeonher .Shedr awsadeepshudder i
    ngbreath,asIsuckonherthumb,thi
    scausesmet o
    smirk.Thisact,l
    eav esaleni
    entfrownonherf ace.Shehasfal
    lenundermyhy pnoti
    cgaze,as
    shefailst
    ol ookaway .Usuall
    y,hereyeswouldbeal lov
    ertheplacebynow.Iclearmythroat
    ,
    sheblinksandleisurelypul
    lsherhandaway .

    Me:
    “It
    ’snotbad.
    ”

    Iexpr
    ess.Herfi
    ft
    hfi
    ngerseeksr
    efugebet
    weent
    heseamsofherl
    i
    ps,
    shewi
    l
    lnev
    ergetov
    er
    thi
    shabitofbi
    ti
    nghernai
    l
    .

    If
    rownathershy
    ness.

    Me:
    “Mi
    ssSet
    hu,
    I’
    m compl
    etel
    ysur
    ethat
    ,thef
    oodt
    ast
    esbet
    tert
    hant
    hatnai
    l
    .”

    Iwi
    n,asasmi
    l
    efl
    ashesonherf
    ace.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m suddenl
    yful
    l
    .”
    Me:
    “Okay
    ,we’
    l
    lgett
    akeaway
    ?”

    Sheagr
    eeswi
    thanod,
    Ili
    kehershynat
    ureandheri
    nnocence.

    AMARA*

    If
    li
    nchwhenapai rofl
    argearmst
    ight
    lygr
    ipmywai
    standt
    urnmear
    ound.Il
    ookupt
    osee
    Randal
    l
    ’sspel
    l
    bindingeyes.

    Me:
    "Randal
    l
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Ar
    eyouhi
    dingf
    rom me?
    ”

    Hebr
    ingshi
    sfacecl
    osert
    omi
    neashei
    nqui
    res,
    Ishakemyhead.Myhear
    tisal
    readypal
    pit
    ati
    ng.

    Ilookforawayoutofhi
    sembracebut
    ,can’
    tfi
    ndany
    ,ashehasmecagedi
    nhi
    sar
    ms.We’
    rei
    n
    thekit
    chenandanyonecanwal
    kin.

    Me:
    “Iwas…goi
    ngt
    omakesomet
    hingt
    oeat
    .Ar
    eyouhungr
    y?”

    Iannouncebet
    weenmybr
    eat
    hs,
    try
    ingt
    omov
    emyf
    aceawayf
    rom hi
    s.

    Hecl
    utchesmycheekswi
    thhisf
    ingers,
    til
    tsmyheadtot
    hesideandcar
    essest
    heareaar
    ound
    myneckbefor
    eburyi
    nghi
    sfaceonit.Hedoesn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngbut,ni
    bbl
    esonmyneck.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Igaspouthi
    sname,
    ashi
    sgr
    iponmywai
    stt
    ight
    ens.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m hungr
    yfory
    ou,
    Amar
    a.”

    Heni
    bbl
    es,
    li
    cksandbl
    owsont
    henapeofmyneck.

    I
    fmyheartdi
    dn’
    tfl
    att
    eratt
    hesightofhi
    m.Iwoul
    dthi
    nkhi
    mtobeaper
    ver
    t,hehasan
    i
    nsat
    iabl
    eappet
    it
    eandcan’
    tkeephishandst
    ohimsel
    f.

    Ifeel
    myf eetl
    eavethefl
    oor,onlytoapprehendt
    hat,hehasslight
    lyl
    ift
    edmeup.Igasp,ashe
    pinsmeagainstt
    hewal landsmasheshi sli
    psonmi ne,
    hiskissisgentl
    ebut
    ,fi
    rm.Myfeettast
    e
    thegroundagai
    n,befor
    ehepr esseshisbodyagainstmine.

    Hest
    rayshiski
    ssest
    omyneck, earsandcheeks.Thet
    ipsofhisfi
    ngersgl
    idedownmyar m and
    f
    indt
    heirwaytomypelvi
    cbone.Thesensati
    onofhiswarm breat
    handhislipsonmyskin,send
    meonaj our
    ney,
    Iam unabl
    etoretur
    nfrom.Icanbarel
    yholdsti
    ll
    ,asIgetarousedbyt
    his,
    ithas
    mecrav
    ingforhi
    m morethananythi
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ihav
    eaneedf
    ory
    ouAmar
    a,Iwantt
    otast
    eev
    eryi
    nchofy
    ourbody
    .”

    Hedecl
    aresi
    nunder
    tone,
    ashedomi
    nat
    esov
    erme.Mybr
    eat
    hinghasgoneonapat
    hofi
    tsown,
    wi
    thhi
    s,r
    ushi
    ngbehi
    nd.Mykneeswobbl
    e,ashi
    sst
    rongar
    mti
    ght
    lygr
    ipsar
    oundmywai
    st.

    Imanagetotapbacktoreal
    it
    y,whenIfeel
    hishandsi nkthroughthewaistofmypants.Thi
    sis
    ri
    sky,
    ther
    eisachildi
    nthehouse.Igetaquickescapefrom hishungryclut
    ches,andt
    rudge
    towar
    dsthesink,
    whil
    etryi
    ngsohardtopullmyselftogether.I
    t’
    ssuddenlyhoti
    nhereandIneed
    tocat
    chmybr eat
    h.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youcan’
    tescapef
    rom mef
    orev
    er,
    youknow?
    ”

    Hedecl
    aresunderhisbreath,
    Iturnt ofi
    ndhi
    m smir
    kingatmewhil
    e,st
    andingwithhi
    shands
    rammedinhispockets.I
    naf l
    ash, Ihavemyheaddi
    ppedinthef
    ri
    dge,asifsear
    chingfor
    somet
    hing.I
    ’
    mt ryi
    ngt ostopmy selffr
    om bl
    ushi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyoul
    i
    kesomet
    hingt
    oeat
    ?”

    If
    indawayoutoft
    hisembar
    rassi
    ngsi
    tuat
    ion,
    hedoesn’
    trespond.

    Okay
    …

    He’
    spr
    obabl
    ynothungr
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Tel
    lmeaboutt
    hiscour
    tshi
    p?”

    Hei
    ntr
    oduces,
    Igl
    anceathi
    m ashecar
    ri
    esani
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    ook.

    Me:
    “Cour
    tshi
    p?”

    Icl
    oset
    hef
    ri
    dge,
    andl
    eanagai
    nstt
    hesi
    nk,
    faci
    nghi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yes,
    appar
    ent
    lywomenwantt
    obecour
    tedbef
    ore,
    theybel
    ongt
    osomeone.
    ”

    Ismi
    l
    eathi
    m.Howdoeshenotknowt
    his?

    Me:
    “Hav
    eyounev
    ercour
    tedawomanbef
    ore?
    ”

    Hedoesn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngbut
    ,rat
    herst
    aresatme.It
    hinkI
    ’
    m supposedt
    oguesshi
    sanswer
    .

    Me:
    “Cour
    tshi
    piswheny
    ouseekt
    heaf
    fect
    ionsofawoman,
    takeheroutondat
    es.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Li
    kecof
    fee?
    ”

    Hei
    scl
    uel
    ess.

    Me: “
    Yes,ordinner
    .Surpri
    seherwi t
    hgif
    ts,itdoesn’thavet
    obeextreme.Womenl i
    kethe
    si
    mpl estt
    hingsinl
    ife,l
    i
    kef l
    owers,aboxofchocol ates.At
    ext
    ,outoftheordinary.I
    tletsus
    knowt hat
    ,youhaven’tfor
    gottenourexi
    stence.Also,wekeeparespectf
    uldistancewi t
    hlit
    tl
    e
    i
    ntimacyornoneatal l
    .”

    Hescowl
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whocameupwi
    tht
    hisnonsense?Howwi
    l
    lIgoadaywi
    thoutt
    ouchi
    ngy
    ou?
    ”

    Il
    aughathi
    sst
    atement
    .

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,it
    ’showt
    hingsar
    e.”
    Randal
    l
    :“Okay
    ,basi
    cal
    l
    y,t
    hisi
    sal
    laboutget
    ti
    ngat
    tent
    ionr
    ight
    ?”

    Me: “
    Inawaybut
    ,it
    ’snotasbadasy
    oumakei
    tsound.I
    t’
    sni
    cet
    ofeel
    want
    edbysomeone
    speci
    al,
    asenseofbel
    onging.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Can’
    tIj
    ustt
    ell
    yout
    hatIwanty
    ou?Thatshoul
    dbeenough.
    ”

    He’
    sfunny
    .

    Me:
    “Youar
    enotschool
    edi
    nthi
    s,ar
    eyou?
    ”

    Hewalksuptome,sendshi
    shandonmywai
    standpul
    l
    smet
    ohi
    m.Icr
    ushonhi
    schest
    ,I’
    m
    af
    rai
    dtolookupathi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Shoul
    dn’
    tthi
    sbeenough?Thebur
    ningdesi
    rewehav
    eforeachot
    her
    ?”

    Hesay
    ssoftl
    y,myhearti
    sget
    ti
    ngt
    ooexci
    ted.IdoubtIwantt
    otaket
    hatt
    ri
    pagai
    n,IknowIwi
    l
    l
    f
    ail
    tocont
    rolmysel
    fthi
    sti
    me.

    Me:
    “Itshoul
    dbut
    ,thi
    srel
    ati
    onshi
    pthi
    ngi
    scompl
    i
    cat
    ed.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Wewi
    l
    luncompl
    i
    cat
    edi
    t.
    ”

    Il
    eerupathi
    m,asagi
    ggl
    eswooshesoutofmymout
    h.Now,
    Ican’
    tlookaway
    .Hi
    sent
    hral
    l
    ing
    gazehasnumbedme.

    Randall
    :“Idon’
    tknowwheny
    oubecameimport
    anttomeAmar
    abut
    ,IknowIwantt
    obewi
    th
    you.Ihavebeenlongi
    ngf
    ort
    his,
    Ihav
    ebeensearchi
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Notamanofmanywor dsandIcer
    tai
    nlydidnotexpectthi
    s,Idon’tknowwhattosay
    .He’
    s
    al
    waysspokenofhi
    sfeel
    ingsi
    naninsati
    ablewayandt hi
    sgentlenessisnew.

    Randal
    l
    :“Won’
    tyout
    eachmehowt
    olov
    eyou,
    mehemma?Iwantt
    odot
    hisr
    ight
    .”(
    Myqueen.
    )

    Icuddl
    ehischeeksi
    nmyhands,
    ashel
    eanshi
    sfacecl
    osert
    omi
    ne.It
    hinkIwantt
    otast
    ehi
    s
    ki
    sses,agai
    n.

    “
    Don’
    tyouguy
    shav
    ear
    oom?Youcant
    akemi
    ne.
    ”

    Wet
    urnathercal
    l
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Whydoy
    ouhav
    ear
    oom i
    nmyhouse?
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Iti
    smybr
    other
    ’shouse,
    Ioughtt
    ohav
    eone.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Yourt
    imi
    ngI
    feany
    i…”

    He’
    smi
    ff
    ed.

    I
    fe:
    “Isper
    fectr
    ight
    ?”

    Shegr
    insathi
    m.It
    ryt
    opul
    loutofRandal
    l
    ’sar
    msbut
    ,he’
    snotl
    ett
    inggo.

    Randal
    l
    :“Pl
    ease,
    fol
    l
    owy
    ourf
    ather
    .”
    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Ibegj
    o,I
    ’
    mti
    redoft
    hatf
    ace.I
    ’
    vebeenl
    ooki
    ngati
    tmywhol
    eli
    fe.
    ”

    Shest
    ri
    desi
    nandpul
    l
    smeawayf
    rom hi
    m,het
    akesupaf
    rown.

    I
    fe:“
    Amara,don’
    tletthi
    smanf ool
    y ou.Hehast
    owor
    ktogety
    ou,
    giv
    ehi
    m ahar
    dti
    me.Make
    hi
    m beg,
    trustme,you’l
    lthankmelater
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    siswhatt
    heymeanwhent
    heysayt
    hedev
    ilcomest
    odest
    roy
    .”

    Shest
    ickshert
    ongueoutathi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whyar
    eyoui
    nmyhousedaught
    erofSegun?
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Uze’
    sfat
    heri
    sher
    e,hewant
    stoseey
    ou.
    ”

    Randal
    lgl
    ancesatme,
    ashehol
    dsagl
    oomyexpr
    essi
    on.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    llbet
    her
    e.”

    ShenodsandIt
    hinkt
    hegl
    oweronhi
    sfacehasherwal
    ki
    ngaway
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs,
    heav
    il
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwanty
    out
    omeetmyf
    ather
    .”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Hedoesn’
    tseem happy
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“What
    everhesay
    s,don’
    ttakei
    ttohear
    t.He’
    sol
    dandt
    hataf
    fect
    shi
    sbr
    ain.
    ”

    Ishoul
    dbel
    aughi
    ngatt
    hisbut
    ,Idon’
    t.Isuddenl
    yfeel
    agnawi
    ngpai
    ninmyst
    omach.

    Me:
    “Shoul
    dIbewor
    ri
    ed?
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    sheadwi
    thaf
    rownt
    hat
    ,seemsper
    manent
    .

    NOMBULELO*

    Ihav
    ebeendel
    ayi
    ngt
    ocal
    lmyuncl
    e,Ineedt
    oannouncemyar
    ri
    val
    bef
    oregoi
    ngt
    her
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “Wi
    l
    lyout
    akeadayof
    ftomor
    row?
    ”

    Me:
    “Yes,
    Iwantt
    odot
    hisandgeti
    tov
    erwi
    th.
    ”
    Mbuso:
    “Icant
    alkt
    othesuper
    visori
    fyoul
    i
    ke.
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    youhav
    edoneenoughf
    orme.Idon’
    twantpeopl
    ethi
    nki
    ngt
    hatIgetspeci
    alt
    reat
    ment
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Speci
    alt
    reat
    menti
    sforspeci
    alpeopl
    eandy
    ou,
    chubbycheeksar
    especi
    al.
    ”

    Hedecl
    ares,ashetur
    nsf r
    om thebathroom mi
    rr
    ort
    ogl
    anceatme.I
    ’
    m si
    tt
    ingontheedgeofthe
    bat
    htub,watchi
    nghim shavehisbeard.Hecal
    l
    edmeinher
    etoaskmethi
    s,thi
    smancouldn’
    t
    wai
    ttofi
    nishandcomet othelivi
    ngroom.

    Me:“You’
    resweet
    nessseemstobegr
    owi
    ngl
    atel
    y,t
    akei
    tdownanot
    ch.Wedon’
    twantpeopl
    e
    t
    hinki
    ngIgaveyoulov
    eporti
    on.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mbuso:
    “Nev
    er,
    thoset
    hingsdon’
    twor
    konme.Mymot
    heri
    sapr
    ayerwar
    ri
    or.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    tswi
    thi
    rony
    .

    Me:
    “Thatshei
    s.”

    Andapai
    n.

    Mbuso:
    “Whatt
    imedoesy
    ouruncl
    egot
    obed?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    why
    ?”

    Hi
    squest
    ionput
    saf
    rownonmyf
    ace.

    Mbuso:
    “Youhav
    en’
    tcal
    l
    edhi
    myet
    .”

    Isi
    gh.

    Me:
    “Letmedoi
    tnow.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Puthi
    m onspeaker
    ,justi
    ncaseIneedt
    odef
    endmybaby
    .”

    He’
    scrazy
    ,Il
    ookathi
    smi
    rr
    orr
    efl
    ect
    ionaswewai
    tformyuncl
    etoanswer
    .Heappear
    sanx
    ious
    whi
    lel
    eeri
    ngatme.

    Jonas:
    “Nombul
    elo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mal
    ume,
    unj
    ani
    ?”(
    Howar
    eyou?
    )

    Jonas:
    “Yi
    mpi
    l
    onganey
    ami
    .Ngabey
    onkei
    ntoi
    ri
    ght
    ?”(
    It
    ’sl
    i
    fe.I
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngokay
    ?)

    Me:“Notreal
    l
    ymal
    ume,
    Ineedt
    ocomeandseey
    out
    omor
    row.Act
    aul
    l
    yumanobaba.
    ”(Mom
    anddad.)

    Jonas:
    “Yourf
    atheri
    snotwel
    latt
    hemoment
    .”

    Heconf
    esses.

    Me:
    “Iknowbut
    ,thi
    sisi
    mpor
    tant
    .Pl
    ease,
    letmom know.
    ”
    Jonas:
    “Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ngi
    yabongamal
    ume.
    ”(Thanky
    ouuncl
    e.)

    Jonas:
    “Okaymychi
    l
    d,Iwi
    l
    lseey
    out
    hen.By
    e.”

    Me:
    “By
    e.”

    Ihangup.

    Mbuso:
    “Thatwentwel
    l
    .”

    Me:“I
    tdi
    d.I’
    m notlooki
    ngfor
    wardtotomor
    row,
    Idr
    eadgoi
    ngt
    othathouse.Thememor
    iesI
    hav
    eofthatplacearenotpl
    easant
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Icancomewi
    th,
    ify
    oul
    i
    ke.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es,
    ashesl
    umpsov
    ert
    owashhi
    sface,
    he’
    ssi
    l
    ly.

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouwantt
    obeav
    ict
    im ofmyuncl
    e’
    sbel
    tthen,
    yes.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mbuso:
    “You’
    regoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine,
    you’
    l
    lsee.
    ”

    Het
    akesmyhandandl
    eadsmeoutoft
    hebat
    hroom.

    Me:
    “Ihopeso.
    ”

    Wet
    rampdownt
    hest
    air
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Ify
    ourf
    athert
    ri
    esany
    thi
    ng,
    remembert
    hatGokui
    sasupersai
    yan.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ohgosh!
    !!Ngaf
    angoGoku.
    ”(MustIsuf
    ferwi
    tht
    hisname?
    )

    Il
    augh,
    andhepul
    l
    smei
    ntohi
    sar
    ms.

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    swasmypl
    an,
    Imi
    ssedy
    ourl
    aught
    oday
    .”

    If
    rownathi
    scasual
    ness.

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “Youl
    ooksomuchbet
    terwheny
    oul
    aughandIl
    i
    kei
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanks…Iguess.You’
    rebei
    ngwei
    rd.
    ”

    Apuckergr
    owsbet
    weenhi
    sey
    ebr
    ows,
    ashet
    ight
    enshi
    sar
    msar
    oundme.

    Mbuso:
    “Oho,
    I’
    mtryi
    ngt oberomanti
    chere.Idon’
    twantyout
    ost
    artcompl
    aini
    ngand
    compar
    ingmetoAzwindini
    ,myact
    ingisbad,youknow.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mthr
    owni
    ntoast
    ageofl
    aught
    er.
    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m ser
    ious.
    ”

    I’
    m done,
    andf inal
    lydeclaringhim cr
    azy
    .Idon’tknowwhybut ,
    thewayhe’shol
    dingmei s
    seri
    ousl
    yturningmeonr ightnow.Hiseyessurfmylips,we’
    rethi
    nki
    ngthesamet hi
    ng.Heleans
    downandt akesov ermyl ips,hi
    shandsareti
    ghtlygr
    iptonmywai st
    .Ist
    andonmyt oesasIloop
    myar msoverhi sneck,somewhatdr awinghi
    m down.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    77*

    RANDALL*

    Iwal
    kintot
    heloungewit
    hAmaratr
    ail
    i
    ngbesideme,
    Seguni
    sseat
    edont hecouchwithLiy
    ana
    onhisl
    ap.Hegri
    macesuponseei
    ngAmara.Liy
    anaj
    umpsfr
    om hi
    slapandskipstowardsme,I
    cat
    chherandscoopherup.

    Li
    yana:
    “Papa,
    nanasai
    dhewi
    l
    ltakemet
    oGhanat
    omeetmygr
    andmot
    her
    .”(
    Grandf
    ather
    .)

    Heri
    ntr
    oduct
    iondoesn’
    tsi
    twel
    lwi
    thme.

    Isendmygazet
    ohi
    m,he’
    sgl
    ari
    ngatme.

    Me:
    “If
    e,pl
    easet
    akeLi
    yawi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “But
    ,Iwantt
    osi
    twi
    thnana.
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    I
    fe:
    “Li
    ya,
    let
    ’sgogetsomei
    cecr
    eam.We’
    l
    lbr
    ingnanasome,
    too.
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Ipl
    aceherdownandshescur
    ri
    esawaybef
    oreI
    fe.

    Me:
    “Fat
    her
    ,Iwoul
    dappr
    eci
    atei
    tify
    ouwoul
    dst
    opf
    il
    li
    ngmydaught
    er’
    sheadwi
    thnonsense.
    ”

    Iwar
    nhi
    m,hedoesn’
    tseem f
    azed.

    Segun:
    “Whoi
    sthemai
    denwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    He’
    sheldthi
    squesti
    onfrom t
    hemomentwewalkedin,Igl
    anceatAmarawho’
    sholdi
    ngal ook
    ofwor
    ry.Shemightsti
    l
    lbedwell
    i
    nguponthewordsIint
    roduced,
    bef
    orewelef
    ttheki
    tchen.

    Me:
    “Thi
    sisAmar
    a,shei
    stheoneIhav
    ebeent
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ouabout
    .”

    It
    akeherhandi
    ntomi
    net
    oreal
    i
    zet
    hather
    sist
    rembl
    i
    ng.Myf
    atherappr
    ovi
    ngherwoul
    dmeana
    l
    ottome.

    Hescowl
    satmyr
    epl
    y.

    Segun:
    “Youdi
    dnotment
    ionanywomant
    ome.
    ”

    Her
    ejoi
    nder
    srudel
    yandl
    i
    esi
    nthepr
    ocess.

    Me:“Befor
    ewehavethi
    sconver
    sat
    ion,
    beari
    nmi
    ndt
    hatwear
    eal
    ladul
    tsandIwi
    l
    lnott
    oler
    ate
    anydisr
    espectt
    owar
    dsAmara.”

    Segun:
    “Ar
    eyouchast
    isi
    ngmeUze?
    ”

    Iguessmyr
    equestf
    ell
    ondeafear
    s.

    Me:
    “Fat
    her
    ,Ineedy
    out
    orespectmyhomeandt
    hepeopl
    eini
    t.That
    ’sal
    lIask,
    pleasesi
    t.
    ”
    Hehesi
    tat
    esbef
    oreset
    tl
    ingdown,
    Amar
    aposi
    ti
    onsher
    sel
    fnextt
    ome.

    Segun:
    “Uze,
    ther
    eissomeoney
    ouneedt
    omeet
    .”

    Isawt
    hiscomi
    ng,
    Amar
    acannotknowaboutt
    hatwoman.Wehav
    ebar
    elyst
    art
    edandIcan’
    t
    l
    oseher
    .

    Me:“Thi
    stopi
    cisof
    fthet
    abl
    efat
    her
    ,canwepl
    easenotbr
    ingpeopl
    ethatar
    enother
    eint
    othi
    s
    conv
    ersat
    ion.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Howdoy
    ouexpectmet
    oignor
    esomet
    hingt
    hati
    sther
    e?”

    Hegr
    owl
    s,he’
    squi
    ckt
    oanger
    .

    Me:“Theonl
    ythingthatexi
    stsf
    ormeatt
    hismomenti
    sthi
    swomanr
    ighther
    e,Idon’
    tknow
    any
    thingel
    se,buther.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Uze,
    yousur
    elycannotdenyy
    ourdest
    iny
    .”

    He’
    sbei
    ngadamant
    .

    Me:
    “Fat
    her
    ,Ihav
    eint
    roducedAmar
    atoy
    ou.Notoncehav
    eyouacknowl
    edgedherpr
    esence.
    ”

    Segun:“Ihavenotcomef
    ort
    hatUze.Whoi
    sthi
    sAmar
    ayouspeakof
    ?Fr
    om whi
    chbl
    oodl
    i
    nei
    s
    shefrom? ”

    Amar
    a:“
    But
    hel
    ezi
    sir
    .I’
    mfr
    om t
    heBut
    hel
    ezi
    clan.
    ”

    Heranswerput
    saf
    rownonhi
    sface,
    Itakeherhandi
    ntomi
    neandt
    hisappear
    stoaggr
    avat
    e
    Segun.

    Segun:
    “Whogav
    eyouper
    missi
    ont
    ospeak?
    ”

    Hel
    ashesoutather
    .

    Me:
    “SegunOkol
    i
    e,mi
    ndwhoy
    ou’
    respeaki
    ngt
    o?’
    ’

    Ir
    etur
    nthel
    ash,
    asIpul
    lAmar
    aupwi
    thme.

    Segun:
    “Mysubj
    ect
    sdonotaddr
    essmeunl
    essgi
    venper
    missi
    on.
    ”

    Hi
    sst
    ubbor
    nnesst
    akesov
    er.

    Me:
    “Howdar
    eyou?Gett
    hehel
    loutofmyhouse.
    ”

    Igr
    owl
    athi
    m andheshoot
    supf
    rom t
    heseatashi
    sfaceshowsnot
    hingbutr
    age.

    Amar
    a:“
    Randal
    l
    ?”

    Shegaspsi
    nshock.

    Segun:“
    Uze,
    Idon’
    tcar
    ehowol
    dyout
    hinky
    ouar
    e.Iam st
    il
    lyourf
    ather
    ,youdonott
    alkt
    ome
    l
    ikethat
    .”

    Me:
    “Youar
    enot
    hingbut
    ,adi
    ctat
    or.
    ”
    Hesi
    ghsdeepl
    y.

    Segun:
    “Li
    stent
    omeson,
    Icameher
    einpeace.Yourbr
    ide…”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tsayi
    t,don’
    tev
    ensayi
    t,orIswearIwi
    l
    lfor
    gett
    haty
    ourbl
    oodr
    unsi
    nmyv
    eins.
    ”

    Ihowl
    athi
    m.

    Amar
    a:“
    Randy
    .”

    Shenudgesmyhandasshewhisper
    smyname,Iseet
    hefearshehasf
    ort
    hisman.Thi
    sis
    SegunOkol
    ie,
    hecanbei
    nti
    midati
    ng.Hence,
    Rav
    enbowsdownt ohi
    m.

    Segun:
    “Nochi
    l
    dofmi
    nehasev
    erspokent
    omei
    nthi
    smanner
    .”

    I
    femar
    chesi
    ntot
    her
    oom,
    angerpl
    ast
    eredonherf
    ace.

    I
    fe:
    “Amar
    a,comewi
    thme.
    ”

    Shet
    akesherhandandl
    eadsherawayaf
    tergi
    vi
    ngmyf
    atheranunpl
    easantl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Ionl
    yaskedy
    ouf
    oronesi
    mpl
    ethi
    ngandy
    oucoul
    dn’
    tgi
    vei
    ttome.
    ”

    Segun:
    “HowdoIgi
    vet
    hei
    mpossi
    bleUze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whati
    ssoi
    mpossi
    bleaboutr
    espect
    ingAmar
    a?”

    Segun:
    “Whoi
    sshet
    hatIhav
    etor
    especther
    ?”

    Heshout
    s.

    Me:“
    She’
    stheonl
    ywomanwhoholdsmyheartandfat
    hermar
    kthi
    s.Todayist
    helastdayy
    ou
    ev
    ergett
    otal
    ktoheri
    nmanner
    .Thisi
    snotGhana,y
    oudonotcal
    ltheshot
    shere.
    ”

    Segun:“
    Youar
    emysonandy
    ouwi
    l
    ldowhat
    everIt
    ell
    you,
    Ibr
    oughtRut
    htomeety
    ouandshe’
    s
    outsi
    deint
    hecar
    .”

    Hedar
    edt
    obr
    ingheri
    nmypr
    emi
    ses.

    Me:
    “Youdi
    dwhat
    ?”

    Segun:
    “MeetherUze,
    you…”

    Me:
    “Getheroutofher
    e.”

    Igr
    owl
    .

    Segun:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotdot
    hat
    ,thatgi
    rli
    syourwi
    feUze…”

    Hesnaps.

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmet
    hatshi
    t,getoutofmyhouse.
    ”

    “
    Randal
    l
    !!!
    ”

    I
    ’
    m aboutt
    hiscl
    oset
    odi
    sowni
    ngRav
    en,
    Iswearheget
    sonmyner
    veseacht
    imehest
    andsup
    f
    ort
    hisman.

    Rav
    en:
    “Youseem t
    obef
    orget
    ti
    ngt
    hatt
    hisi
    syourf
    ather
    ,youcannotspeakt
    ohi
    mli
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Wow.

    Me:
    “Rav
    en,
    stayoutoft
    his.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “HowcanIsi
    tbackwhi
    l
    eyoudi
    srespectourf
    ather
    ?”

    Hesaunt
    erst
    owar
    dsmeandst
    andsr
    ightbef
    oreme,
    hisexpr
    essi
    onsay
    shewant
    stof
    ightme.

    Me:
    “Getoutofmyf
    aceRav
    en.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Someoneneedst
    oknocksomesensei
    ntoy
    ouRandal
    l
    ,youhav
    egoneov
    erboar
    d.”

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”

    Raven:
    “Bro,
    youranfr
    om home.Fr
    om y
    ourr
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    ties,
    youdi
    sobey
    edy
    ourf
    atherand
    chosetobeaprodi
    galson.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ichoset
    obef
    ree,
    Rav
    en.
    ”

    Raven:“
    No,youchosetobeselfi
    sh.Doyouknowhowi tfel
    ttol
    iveunderyourshadow?
    Every
    thi
    ngIdid,Iwascomparedtoyou.‘
    IfUzewashere,hewoul
    dhav edonethis.Uzedoesn’t
    speaktomelikethi
    s.Uzedoesitbett
    ert
    hanyou.’Thi
    shasbeenmyl i
    feforthepastsixteen
    year
    sRandall
    ,Icouldnev
    erbebetteri
    ntheeyesofevery
    one.Iwasovershadowedbyy ourghost
    ,
    fat
    herdoesnotseeme.Allhecaresaboutisyou.
    ”

    Heconf
    essesi
    nanger
    .

    Me:
    “Youbl
    amemef
    oral
    lthat
    ?”

    Rav
    en:
    “Yes,
    Ibl
    amey
    ouUze.Youdon’
    tcar
    eaboutany
    onebuty
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Me: “
    May bey
    oushould’
    vedonebet
    terRav
    ,donotdr
    agmei
    ntoy
    ourpr
    obl
    ems.Iwasl
    i
    ving
    peaceful
    l
    yunti
    lyoupeopl
    ecame.”

    Segun:
    “Iam donewi
    thy
    ourst
    ubbor
    nnessUze,
    Rut
    hisy
    ourwi
    feand…”

    Igr
    abhi
    m byt
    hescr
    uffofhi
    sshi
    rt
    .

    Me:
    “Sayt
    hatt
    omeonemor
    eti
    me,
    sayi
    tfat
    her
    .Idar
    eyou.
    ”

    Igr
    owl
    athi
    m,Rav
    enpushesmebackbut
    ,mygr
    iponSegunst
    ands.

    Rav
    en:
    “Thi
    sisi
    nsaneUze,
    letgoofhi
    m now.
    ”

    Me:“Yourf
    atherkeepsspewi
    ngshi
    t,war
    nhi
    m Rav
    en.Ihav
    enowi
    fe,
    thewomanoutt
    her
    e
    meansnothi
    ngt ome.”

    Segun:
    “Itdoesn’
    tmat
    terwhaty
    ousay
    ,yout
    woar
    ebondedbybl
    ood.
    ”

    Thi
    sisnotwor
    thi
    t,t
    hisol
    dmani
    snotdaunt
    edandhest
    andsbyhi
    sdeci
    sion.
    Rav
    enf
    inal
    l
    ymanagest
    opushmeaway
    ,Ipushhi
    m backandhest
    agger
    s.

    Me:“I
    sther
    esomet
    hingIneedt
    oknowUzoma?Di
    dyousl
    i
    theri
    nmyhouseory
    oucameasa
    br
    other
    ?”

    Hecl
    encheshi
    steet
    hwhi
    l
    egl
    ari
    ngatme,
    prov
    idi
    ngnoanswert
    omyquest
    ion.

    Segun:
    “Thi
    sangerofy
    our
    swi
    l
    lnotgety
    ouany
    wher
    e.”

    Me:“Youseem t
    obeconceal
    i
    ngasecr
    etSegun.Whati
    sitt
    haty
    ouhav
    edone?Whyar
    eyouso
    bentonmebeingwi
    ththi
    swomanIhavenevermet?
    ”

    Segun:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouar
    etal
    ki
    ngabout
    .”

    Me:“Real
    ly
    ?Yourey
    esspeakadi
    ff
    erentst
    ory
    ,Ihopey
    oudi
    dnotsel
    lmysoul
    fory
    ourev
    il
    desi
    res.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Uze,
    Iam y
    ourf
    ather
    .”

    Me:“Thatdoesnotmeananythi
    ngifyourefuset
    oactt
    hepar
    t.Youdi
    dsomethingal
    lthose
    year
    sagoandy ou’
    reafr
    aidt
    hatifIdon’
    ttakethi
    swoman,
    somethi
    ngwil
    lhappentoyou.Iwil
    l
    notpl
    aythisgamewithyouSegun,l
    eavemyhouse.”

    Segun:“
    Youwil
    lregr
    ett
    hisUze,
    Ipr
    omiseyouanddon’
    tthi
    nkIam l
    ett
    ingt
    hisgo.Onedayy
    ou
    wil
    lcomebeggi
    ngandIwillbewai
    ti
    ngforyou.
    ”

    Ichor
    tl
    eathi
    sresponse.

    Me:
    “GetoutofmyhouseandRav
    en,
    fol
    l
    owhi
    m.”

    Hegivesmeabl
    ackl
    ookbef
    ore,
    hef
    uri
    ousl
    ymar
    chesout
    .Rav
    enf
    oll
    owsbehi
    ndhi
    m,IguessI
    am onmyownnow.

    KHETHU*

    Thesmel loffr
    eshcoff
    eeti
    ckl
    esmynostr
    il
    s,sl
    owlypul
    l
    ingmeoutofadeepslumber.I
    remembert hi
    sscent.I
    t’
    sbeenl
    ongsi
    ncehe’smadeitf
    orme.HeknowsthatIcan’
    tstar
    tmyday
    withouti
    t,Ismil
    easIopenmyeyes.

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    you…”

    Mymout
    hrej
    ect
    smywor
    dsatt
    hesi
    ghtofMbongeni
    ,he’
    shol
    dingacupofcof
    fee.

    Dammi
    t…

    ForamomentIwasbackhomewi
    thSt
    yles.

    Mbongeni
    :“Sor
    ryi
    t’
    sjustme.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    Ibr
    ingmybodyup.
    Me:
    “Whatt
    imei
    sit
    ?”

    Mbongeni
    :“Ni
    ne,
    Imadey
    oucof
    feej
    ustt
    hewayy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t.
    ”

    Heholdsmet hecup,Itakei
    tandplaceitonsideoft
    hebed.Yest
    erdayIcall
    edMbongeni
    toget
    me,Ineededafri
    end.Someonewhowi l
    lli
    stenandnotj
    udgeme.Iknowhewant stobemore
    t
    hanfriendsandsl
    eepingoverhasprobablygiv
    enhimthewrongi
    mpr essi
    on.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ryIt
    ookov
    ery
    ourbedl
    astni
    ght
    .”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Mbongeni
    :“Youdon’
    thearmecompl
    aini
    ng.Howdi
    dyousl
    eep?
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Iguess.Wher
    eismyphone?
    ”

    If
    iddl
    eont
    hesheet
    sinsear
    chf
    ori
    t.

    Mbongeni
    :“Idon’
    tknow,
    itmustbeundery
    ourpi
    l
    loworsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’snother
    e.”

    Ij
    umpofft
    hebedasIgrabt
    hepi
    l
    low,
    Ipani
    cwhenIdon’
    tfi
    ndi
    t.Ist
    ri
    pthebed,
    tossi
    ng
    ev
    ery
    thi
    ngonthef
    loor
    .

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hucal
    m down.
    ”

    Whyi
    shet
    ell
    i
    ngmet
    his?

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tfi
    ndmybl
    oodyphonedammi
    t.
    ”

    If
    eel
    at i
    ghteni
    ngonmychest,mybreat
    hingqui
    ckens.Whati
    fit
    ’sof
    fandSt
    ylesi
    scal
    l
    ingme?
    Hewil
    lthi
    nkthatIdon’
    twantt
    ospeaktohim?

    Me:
    “No,
    no,
    no.
    ”

    Ikneel
    byt
    hef
    ootoft
    hebed,
    asIpeekunder
    neat
    hit
    .

    Myanxi
    etygr
    owswhenIf
    indnot
    hing.

    Mbongeni
    :“What
    ’sgoi
    ngonKhet
    hu?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tfi
    ndmyphoneMbo,
    hel
    pmef
    indi
    tpl
    ease.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    t’
    sobv
    iousl
    ysomewher
    eint
    hehouse,
    rel
    ax.
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmet
    orel
    ax,
    Sty
    lesmustbecal
    l
    ingme.He’
    spr
    obabl
    ywor
    ri
    edsi
    ck.
    ”

    Hef
    oll
    owsme,
    asImar
    choutoft
    hebedr
    oom t
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom.

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    huy
    oucan’
    tdot
    hist
    oyour
    sel
    f,t
    hisi
    snotokay
    .”

    Me:
    “What
    ’snotokay
    ?Ij
    ustwantmyphone,
    wil
    lyouhel
    pmel
    ookf
    ori
    tornot
    ?”

    Mbongeni
    :“Ther
    e’sy
    ourphonet
    her
    e,ont
    heki
    tchencount
    er.
    ”
    It
    urnt
    owar
    dst
    heki
    chen,
    myhear
    trel
    axes,
    asIseei
    t.Mbongeni
    wat
    chesmeasIr
    usht
    ogr
    abi
    t.

    Therear
    enomessagesfrom Styl
    es,
    theonl
    ythi
    ngi
    thol
    dsar
    eendl
    essmessagesf
    rom my
    fat
    herandmi
    ssedcal
    ls,
    thisbreaksme.

    Ir
    aisemyey
    est
    oleeratMbongeni
    ,Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    hatl
    ookmeansandIdon’
    tcar
    e.

    Mbongeni
    :“Youdeser
    vebet
    tery
    ouknow.
    ”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    es.

    Me:
    “St
    ylesi
    sthebet
    tert
    hatIdeser
    ve.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Howcany
    oust
    il
    lwanthi
    m af
    terhowhet
    reat
    edy
    ou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ngMbongeni
    ,Icamet
    oyoubecauseIneededaf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“And,
    Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    obet
    hatf
    ri
    endKhet
    hu,
    thatmanhasal
    way
    sbeenal
    oser
    .Honest
    ly,
    Isawthi
    sdaycoming.
    ”

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    notnow.
    ”

    Iut
    ter
    ,asIt
    readbackt
    othebedr
    oom t
    ogetmybag.

    Mbongeni
    :"Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Why
    ?Youwantt
    okeept
    absonme?
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    t’
    sst
    il
    lear
    lyKhet
    huandy
    ouhav
    en’
    thadany
    thi
    ngt
    oeat
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    m nothungr
    y.”

    Istr
    oll
    outaf
    terput
    ti
    ngonmyshoes,
    Mbongeni
    keepst
    rai
    l
    ingbehi
    ndmeandi
    t’
    sget
    ti
    ng
    annoyi
    ng.

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hupl
    ease,
    don’
    tgo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Ipaceoutoft
    hedoor
    ,leav
    inghi
    m st
    andi
    ngt
    her
    e.

    AMARA*

    Me:
    “Chi
    oma.
    ”

    Ical
    lasIpl
    odi
    ntot
    heki
    tchen,
    she’
    spr
    epar
    ingbr
    eakf
    ast
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “You’
    reupear
    ly.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wher
    eisRandal
    l
    ?”
    Chi
    oma:
    “Hel
    eftear
    lyt
    hismor
    ning,
    hesai
    dsomet
    hingaboutameet
    ing.Hedi
    dn’
    tgi
    vedet
    ail
    s.”

    Sheexpl
    ains.

    Me:
    “Isheal
    way
    sli
    ket
    his?
    ”

    Sheshoot
    smeaquest
    ioni
    ngl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Hedoesn’
    tcommuni
    cat
    e,It
    hinkhe’
    scl
    uel
    esswheni
    tcomest
    orel
    ati
    onshi
    ps.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    es.

    Chi
    oma: “
    Idon’
    treal
    lyknowmuchabouthi
    spr i
    vat
    eli
    feorhowhe’sl
    i
    kewhenhe’
    swi
    thagi
    rl
    .
    Thethi
    ngwithhi
    mi sthathe’
    smyst
    eri
    ous,
    it’
    shardtoreadhi
    m.”

    I
    febol
    tsi
    ntot
    heki
    tchen,
    singi
    ngatt
    het
    opofherl
    ungs.Chi
    omaf
    rownsatherandshel
    aughs.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Notev
    ery
    onei
    samor
    ningper
    son,
    Ife.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “It
    hinkev
    ery
    oneshoul
    dupgr
    adet
    othat
    .”

    Shegr
    eet
    smewi
    thasmi
    l
    e,Ir
    etur
    nit
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Wher
    eisbr
    other
    ?”

    She’
    saski
    ngmebyt
    heway
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Howcany ounotknowwherey
    ourmani s?Gir
    l,youmustt
    rackhi
    m down,knowhisev
    ery
    move.Howmanyst epshet
    akesaday,howmanydr opsofwat
    erhedrinksandmost
    i
    mpor t
    ant
    ly,
    howmanywomenhet alksto.Tr
    ustme,peopl
    earethi
    rst
    youtthereandt
    heywant
    t
    odrinkfr
    om yourcup.
    ”

    Thi
    shasmel
    aughing,
    Ifeiswaydi
    ff
    erentf
    rom Randal
    l
    .Shei
    soutt
    her
    e,whi
    l
    ehe’
    sreser
    ved,
    Rav
    enisami
    xtur
    eofbot h.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Howol
    dar
    eyouagai
    n?”

    Chi
    omacan’
    tbel
    i
    evewhatshej
    ustsai
    dthat
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Sev
    ent
    eenandl
    ovi
    ngi
    t.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    eswi
    del
    y,Chi
    omashakesherheadandcont
    inueswi
    thhercooki
    ng.

    Amar
    a:“
    You’
    rehappyt
    hismor
    ning,
    consi
    der
    ingwhathappenedy
    est
    erday
    .”

    Thi
    sishowIchooset
    oint
    roducet
    het
    opi
    c,Ineedt
    oknowwhatt
    hedr
    amawasabout
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Li
    fei
    stooshor
    ttot
    akeSegunOkol
    i
    eser
    ious.
    ”

    Shepul
    l
    sachai
    randsi
    ts,
    Iposi
    ti
    onmy
    sel
    fopposi
    teher
    .

    Me:
    “Whatwast
    hatabout
    ?”
    Herf
    acechangest
    othatofconcer
    n.

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    otherdi
    dn’
    ttel
    lyou?
    ”

    Hewoul
    d’v
    eifhespokemuch.

    Me:
    “No,
    thel
    astt
    imeIsawhi
    m waswheny
    oupul
    l
    edmeaway
    .”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    I
    fe:
    “Idon’
    tknowt
    hen,
    wai
    tforhi
    mtocomeback,
    hewi
    l
    lexpl
    ain.
    ”

    Shei
    shi
    dingsomet
    hing.

    I
    fe:
    “Mybr
    otherneedsDr
    .Lov
    e.”

    Shest
    atesr
    andoml
    y.

    Me:
    “Whyi
    sthat
    ?”

    I
    fe:“Hesucksatthi
    slovethi
    ng,
    Ibet
    ,youfeel
    li
    key ou’
    redat
    ingaZombi
    e.He’
    stooser
    ious,
    he
    doesn’
    trepor
    thiscomingsandgoi
    ngs.Heiscluel
    esswhenitcomest
    orel
    ati
    onshi
    ps.
    ”

    Me:
    “Andy
    out
    hinkDr
    .Lov
    ewi
    l
    lfi
    xhi
    m.”

    I
    fe:
    “Wi
    thasnapofaf
    inger
    .”

    Il
    augh.

    Howcanonehav
    esomuchener
    gy?

    I
    fe:
    “Whathashebeendoi
    ngal
    lthi
    sti
    me?He’
    s34f
    orcr
    yingoutl
    oud.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:“Youshouldstar
    tacti
    ngyourageI
    feany
    i,y
    oursmar
    tmout
    hwi
    l
    lgety
    oui
    ntot
    roubl
    e.
    Uzei
    syourelderbr
    other,
    watchwhatyousayabouthi
    m.”

    Chi
    omar
    epr
    imandsher
    ,Idoubtshemeantanyhar
    m.

    Me:
    “IsLi
    yanast
    il
    lsl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”

    Ideci
    det
    ochanget
    het
    opi
    c,I
    fedoesn’
    tseem t
    oli
    kebei
    ngr
    epr
    oached.

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    l
    lgocheck.
    ”

    Shest
    rol
    l
    soutandI
    fer
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Ol
    dpeopl
    ear
    ebor
    ing.
    ”

    Shedeclar
    esasshet oddl
    estoopenChi
    oma’spots,herf
    aceli
    ghtsupinseeingthecont
    entsof
    i
    t.IcanonlysithereandwonderwhereRandal
    lmightbe.Theargumenthehadwi t
    hhisfat
    her
    hasmewor r
    ied,i
    tseemst heyar
    eatl
    onger-
    headswitheachotheraboutsomethi
    ngdeep.

    NOMBULELO*
    Nt
    ombi
    :“Lel
    o?”

    Iwashopi
    ngshewon’
    tbet
    heonet
    oopent
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Hi
    mom.
    ”

    Ther
    e’sanawkwar
    dmomentbef
    oreshet
    akesmei
    ntoanembr
    ace.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Comei
    n”

    Shepavesawayforme, thi
    sisaful
    l house.Thefi
    rstper
    sonIseeismyfather
    ,he’
    ssit
    ti
    ngon
    thecouchandhelooksoutofit
    ,ashe’sstari
    ngint
    ospace.Ithur
    tstoseehimli
    kethi
    sandI
    wanttoembracehim so,
    heknowst hathe’snotal
    one.

    Jonas:
    “Ungakhal
    iLel
    o,y
    ourf
    atherwi
    l
    lbeokay
    .Li
    fei
    snotal
    way
    ski
    nd.
    ”(Don’
    tcr
    y.)

    Hest
    ateswhenIwi
    pemyt
    ear
    s.

    Mhambi
    :“Ohmychi
    l
    d,howar
    eyou”

    Ishakehi
    shandwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    neMal
    ume.
    ”(Uncl
    e.)

    AuntPetuni
    ahugsme, Ipr
    oceedt
    ositnexttomyf at
    her
    .Iknowhei
    sthel
    astper
    sonIwant
    edt
    o
    seebut,
    nowt hatIseehi
    m.Myheartbreaksforhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Whathappenedt
    ohi
    m mom?
    ”

    Shehuf
    fs.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Asky
    ouruncl
    e,het
    ell
    sthest
    orybet
    ter
    .”

    Okay
    .

    Ther
    eist
    ensi
    oni
    nthi
    sroom.

    Jonas:
    “Don’
    tst
    resst
    hechi
    l
    dNt
    ombi
    .
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Lel
    o,mychi
    l
    d.Woul
    dyoul
    i
    kesomet
    hingt
    oeatordr
    ink?
    ”

    Mymot
    herf
    rownsather
    ,Ihav
    enoi
    deawhat
    ’sgoi
    ngher
    e,i
    tseemsbi
    gthough.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“UNombul
    elongey
    ami
    ingane,
    Iwi
    l
    lmakehersomet
    hingt
    oeat
    .”(
    She’
    smychi
    l
    d.)

    Iseeuncl
    eJonasshakehi
    sheadi
    ndi
    sappr
    oval
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    nemom.
    ”

    Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sgoi
    ngon?

    Moses:
    “Nombul
    elo?Nt
    ombi
    ,wher
    eismybaby
    ?”

    Heseemst
    obebackt
    ohi
    ssenses.
    Me:
    “I’
    m her
    ebaba.
    ”

    Het
    urnst
    ome,
    hisey
    esf
    il
    lupwi
    tht
    ear
    s,ashecr
    adl
    esmycheeks.

    Moses:“Mybaby,y
    oucameback?Ubabauy
    axol
    i
    sa,
    ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sast
    handwasami
    .”(
    Dadi
    ssor
    ry,
    I
    ’m sor
    rymylove.
    )

    Tear
    scascadedownhischeeks,
    Ifai
    ltocompr
    ehendwhyhei
    semot
    ional
    .Lastt
    imeIwasher
    e
    heoust
    edmeoutlikeImeantnothi
    ngtohim.

    Me:
    “Baba?
    ”(Dad?
    )

    Myt
    ear
    sfai
    lmeaswel
    l
    .

    Moses:
    “Ubabauzokusaecrèche,
    yez
    wa?AndIwi
    l
    lfet
    chy
    ou,
    thenwe’
    l
    lgoandbuyi
    cecr
    eam.
    ”
    (
    Dadwillt
    akeyoutocrèche.
    )

    Hi
    swor
    dspr
    ovet
    hathei
    snotatal
    lnor
    mal
    .

    Mhambi
    :“Nombul
    elosukal
    apho.
    ”(Mov
    efr
    om t
    her
    e.)

    Idon’
    tunder
    standhi
    srequest
    .

    Me:
    “Yi
    ndabamal
    ume?
    ”(Whyuncl
    e?)

    Moses:
    “Hay
    iMhambi,umonangowani
    ?Nombul
    eloi
    smychi
    l
    d,y
    oul
    efty
    our
    sbacki
    nthebush.
    ”
    (
    Whyareyoujeal
    ousMhambi
    ?)

    Jonas:
    “Mhambi
    rel
    ax,
    thi
    sisnott
    het
    ime.
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Lel
    o,y
    ousai
    dther
    e’ssomet
    hingi
    mpor
    tanty
    ouneedt
    oshar
    e.”

    Sheget
    stoi
    t.

    Me:
    “Yes,
    Ihav
    ebeenhav
    ingdr
    eamsofawomanaski
    ngf
    ormybaby
    .”

    Myf
    atherr
    est
    shi
    sheadonmyshoul
    derasIi
    ntr
    oduce,
    hest
    art
    shummi
    ngal
    ull
    aby
    .

    Me:
    “Thedr
    eamshappenever
    ynightandsoIdeci
    dedt
    oseeapr
    ophetandshet
    oldmet
    hat
    t
    her
    e’sawomanwhoisaft
    eryou,mom.”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Mi
    na?
    ”Shel
    ooksshocked.

    Me:
    “Yes,
    shewant
    stoseey
    ourdownf
    all
    .She’
    sther
    easonbehi
    ndy
    oursuf
    fer
    ing.
    ”

    Theyl
    i
    stenat
    tent
    ivel
    yasInar
    rat
    ethesaga.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ithi
    nkIknowwhoi
    tis.
    ”

    Al
    ley
    esf
    all
    onheratherdecl
    arat
    ion.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Tel
    lus.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Yourf
    ri
    endNt
    ombi
    ,theonewhoi
    sal
    way
    sher
    e.”
    ShemeansMar
    tha,
    Tebogoi
    shar
    dlyev
    erher
    e.

    Me:
    “That
    ’swhatIguessedt
    oo.
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Mar
    tha?
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Yes,
    Ioncesawherj
    umpov
    ert
    hef
    encei
    nthemi
    ddl
    eoft
    heni
    ght
    .”

    Huh!
    !!

    Ntombi
    :“Yoh,
    yoh,
    yoh.Pet
    unia,wenabowuyaphingal
    esosikhat
    hi?Uy
    avukanawekant
    i?”
    (
    Wherewer ey
    ougoingatt
    histi
    meofthenight?Areyoualsoawi t
    ch?”

    Mymot
    herl
    ooksshockedwhi
    l
    e,asPet
    uni
    aispi
    quedbyherassumpt
    ions.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    ,j
    ustsoy
    ouknow.Iseet
    hings,
    Ihav
    eat
    hir
    dey
    e.”

    Ntombi
    :“I
    li
    hlol
    esi
    that
    huPet
    uni
    a,hay
    isuka,
    ungazodl
    alangat
    hiwena.
    ”(At
    hir
    dey
    e,pl
    ease.
    You’
    reki
    ddingus.
    )

    Shelaughs,
    Iseet
    hetensi
    onbet
    weent
    heset
    wo.Theyhav
    enev
    erbeenbestoff
    ri
    endsbut
    ,
    peacewaskeptamongthem.

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    lal
    elat
    uu.
    ”(Li
    sten.
    )

    Ntombi
    :“Li
    stentowhatBhut
    iJonas?Petuniaj
    ustconf
    essedt
    hatshe’
    sawi
    tchandshegoeson
    t
    osaythatMarthai
    stheoneaftermyli
    fe.”

    Mhambi
    :“Pet
    uni
    aisr
    ight
    ,shehasagi
    ftofseei
    ngt
    hesuper
    nat
    ural
    .”

    Mymot
    heraccept
    saf
    rown.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“I
    sthatwhyMar
    thasai
    dshehat
    esy
    ou?
    ”

    Petunia:
    “Yes,
    it'
    sbecauseIsawher
    .Actual
    l
    y,shecomesher
    eev
    eryni
    ghtandt
    urnsbackwhen
    shefindsmeawake.Thatwomanwi l
    lnotgi
    veup.”

    Jonas:
    “Nombul
    elo,
    goaheadandt
    ell
    hert
    hatwewoul
    dli
    ket
    oseeher
    .”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,may
    beshewi
    l
    lhel
    pdadaswel
    l
    .”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Jonas:“
    Yourfat
    herwi
    l
    l gethel
    psomewher
    eel
    se,
    don’
    twor
    ryaboutany
    thi
    ng.Wewi
    l
    lfi
    xthi
    s
    andyourbabywil
    lbef
    ine.”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Whywoul
    dMar
    thadot
    hist
    ome?Whatdi
    dIev
    erdot
    oher
    ?”

    Shesoundsext
    remel
    yhur
    t.Theyhav
    ebeenf
    ri
    endsf
    orav
    eryl
    ongt
    ime.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    78*

    STYLES*

    Ther
    e'saknockatt
    hedoor
    .

    Neo:
    “I’
    l
    lgeti
    t.
    ”

    Heof
    fer
    stoopen.

    Me:
    “No,
    I’
    ll
    geti
    t.
    ”

    Ir
    usht
    owar
    dst
    hedoorbut
    ,hebeat
    smet
    oit
    .

    Me:
    “Don’
    topenmydoorshi
    rt
    less,
    Neo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Tool
    ate.
    ”

    Hegr
    insasheswi
    ngsi
    twi
    deopen.Randal
    lwal
    ksi
    n,her
    aiseshi
    sbr
    owsashegl
    aresatNeo.

    Neo:
    “Someonedi
    dn’
    tgeti
    tal
    lthi
    smor
    ning.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“What
    ’supwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Hescowl
    sathi
    sappear
    ance.

    Neo:
    “What
    ’supwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Randal
    lshakeshi
    sheadandgl
    ancesatme.

    Me:
    “Youl
    ookl
    i
    key
    ou’
    vebeenhi
    tbyat
    ruck.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    vebeenhi
    tbyr
    eal
    i
    ty.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Neo:“
    DidInotsayit
    ?Yout woareal
    way
    stoget
    her
    ,It
    hinkI
    ’
    m al
    soget
    ti
    ngj
    eal
    ous.Am It
    he
    ot
    herfr
    iend,
    their
    rel
    evantone?
    ”

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?”

    Neo:“
    KeabotsaSt
    ylos.Ogay
    enaohear
    tbr
    okenandt
    hef
    ir
    stper
    sonhet
    hinksabouti
    syou.
    ”(I
    ’
    m
    j
    ustaski
    ng.
    )

    Randal
    l
    :“Whoi
    shear
    tbr
    oken?
    ”

    Hel
    aughsashest
    epsbackf
    rom Randal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sgot
    otheki
    tchen,
    Iwasgoi
    ngt
    omakesomet
    hingt
    oeat
    .”
    Neogr
    ins.

    Neo:
    “Yes,
    yes.I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    oenj
    oyl
    i
    vingher
    e.”

    Heexpr
    essesi
    nexci
    tement
    .

    Me:
    “Don’
    tgetusedt
    oit
    ,I’
    minagoodmoodt
    oday
    .”

    Neo:
    “Isi
    tthatl
    adyy
    ouwentt
    oseey
    est
    erday
    ?”

    He’
    stoof
    orwar
    d.

    Randal
    l
    :“Who?
    ”

    Heasksi
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    yashesi
    tsonahi
    ghchai
    r.

    Neo:
    “St
    yloshadadat
    elastni
    ght
    ,hecamehomel
    ate.
    ”

    Randal
    lfr
    ownsathi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Okay
    ,you’
    redat
    ing?
    ”

    Heshoot
    smeaconcer
    nedl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Itwasn’
    tadat
    e,Iwentt
    oseeSet
    hu.Wewentoutf
    oranear
    lysupper
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    itwasadat
    e?”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotanswert
    hat
    .”

    Neo:“
    Wabona,secr
    etsbozza.Ther
    e’sonl
    yoneexpl
    anat
    ion,
    bay
    ajol
    a.”(
    He’
    skeepi
    ngsecr
    ets.
    Theyar
    edat
    ing.
    )

    He’
    sdi
    ggi
    ngi
    nmyf
    ri
    dge.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    stayoutofmybusi
    ness.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Takei
    teasySt
    yles,
    youj
    usthady
    ourhear
    tbr
    oken.
    ”

    Het
    endst
    owor
    ryt
    oomuch.

    Me:
    “IknowwhatI
    ’
    m doi
    ngRandy
    ,If
    eel
    ali
    vewhenI
    ’
    m ar
    oundher
    .”

    Neo:
    “Al
    i
    ve?Oamor
    ataSt
    ylos?
    ”(Youl
    oveher
    ?)

    Hequest
    ions,
    bef
    oregul
    pingdownmi
    l
    kfr
    om t
    hecont
    ainer
    ,Ican’
    tfi
    ndt
    hest
    rengt
    htost
    ophi
    m.

    Randall
    :“IseewhereNeoi sgoingwit
    ht hi
    s,hemightnotsayi
    tdirectlybecausehe’sstupid.
    Khethujustmov edout,
    youneedt i
    met oyoursel
    f.Youcan’
    tseeksol acefrom anotherwoman.
    Reboundsar eli
    kethi
    s.Theyfeelgr
    eat,becausethatper
    sonwashesawayt hepaininyourhear
    t.
    Theymakey oufeell
    i
    keeveryt
    hingisokayandoncey ou’
    rehealed,you’l
    lleavethepoorgirl
    hear
    tbroken.”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erdot
    hatt
    oher
    ,she’
    stoopr
    eci
    ous.
    ”
    Neo:
    “Pr
    eci
    ous?
    ”

    Hecackl
    es.

    Me:
    “Whati
    sthatsupposedt
    omean?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Not
    hingbozza.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Me:
    “Spi
    titout
    ,now.
    ”

    Neo: “
    Ifyousayyoucareaboutthisgir
    l,t
    henIsuggesty
    oukeepyourdi
    stancef
    rom herSt
    ylos.I
    havebeenar eboundbeforeanditneverendswell
    .Yoh,Il
    ovedt
    hatgi
    rl
    .Shewentbacktothat
    foolaft
    erImendedherbr okenheart
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youwenti
    n,knowi
    ng?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Iwaskepti
    nthedar
    k,womenar
    eev
    ilkeauj
    oet
    sa.
    ”(I
    ’
    mtel
    l
    ingy
    ou.
    )

    Thi
    sisadi
    ff
    erentNeo.

    Me:“Bel
    iev
    emewhenIsaySet
    hui
    sdi
    ff
    erent
    ,IknowwhatI
    ’
    m doi
    ng.Iwon’
    tjumpi
    nal
    akef
    ull
    of
    cr
    ocodil
    es.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Hai,r
    atherj
    umponce,
    becausewomen..
    .Ent
    lekwenawhyurat
    aboSet
    huleboKhethu?
    Thi
    salmostseemsli
    keyou’
    rer
    eplaci
    ngKhet
    huforSet
    hu.”(
    Whydoyoul
    i
    kethenamesKhethu
    andSethu.
    )

    Randal
    l
    :“Thatwaspr
    obabl
    ybychanceNeo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Itwas,
    Set
    hui
    sdi
    ff
    erent
    .She’
    sfr
    agi
    l
    eandi
    nnocentandshespeakst
    omel
    i
    keIact
    ual
    l
    y
    mat
    ter.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Uskakhaut
    angwanaoabat
    hont
    wana.
    ”(Don’
    thur
    tthepoorchi
    l
    d.)

    Me:
    “Neo,
    am It
    hatbad?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Neo:
    “Ar
    etse.
    ”(Wedon’
    tknow.
    )

    Randal
    l
    :“Ihopey
    ouknowwhaty
    ou’
    redoi
    ngSt
    yles.
    ”

    Randal
    lhasbecomet
    oosensi
    ti
    vesi
    ncet
    heKhet
    hui
    ssue.

    Me:
    “IknowwhatI
    ’
    m doi
    ng,
    Iwi
    l
    lpr
    otectherf
    rom myhear
    t.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwi
    shIhadt
    heconf
    idencet
    osayt
    hesameaboutAmar
    a.”

    Me:
    “Why
    ?Isi
    tMkhi
    zeagai
    n?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Segun,
    hebr
    oughtt
    hatwomanwi
    thhi
    m.”

    Iwasaf
    rai
    dthi
    sdaywoul
    dcome.
    Me:
    “Letmeki
    l
    lher
    .”

    Hescowl
    satmeasheswi
    peshi
    shandov
    erhi
    shead.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”

    Neo:
    “Mr
    .Peacemaker
    ?Keuenao?
    ”(I
    sthi
    syou?
    )

    Iknowi
    t’
    sshocki
    ngbut
    ,it
    ’snott
    hatbad.

    St
    yles:
    “Youwoul
    dki
    l
    lformer
    ight
    ?Letmeki
    l
    lher
    .”

    Randal
    lsmi
    rks.

    Randal
    l
    :“Musi
    ctomyear
    s.”

    Neo:
    “Noman,
    wehav
    en’
    thadbr
    eakf
    asty
    etandy
    ouwantt
    oki
    l
    lpeopl
    e.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Il
    i
    ket
    hei
    deabut
    ,I’
    l
    ldoi
    t.Ican’
    tlety
    ouki
    l
    lforme.
    ”

    Heof
    fer
    s.

    Me:
    “Hearmypl
    anf
    ir
    st,
    itwon’
    tbeanor
    dinar
    ydeat
    h.”

    Theyl
    ookconf
    used,
    Ihav
    etoset
    tl
    edownf
    ort
    his.

    Me:
    “Shewi
    l
    ldi
    eofanunknownv
    irus.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Cor
    ona?
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    thi
    sonewi
    l
    leatawayherf
    lesh.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“HowSt
    yles?
    ”

    Me: “Hav
    ey ouseensomeonewi thLeprosyorboil
    s?Wear egoi
    ngtogivehert hebestofboth.
    Thesy mptomswillbethatofl
    eprosy,bl
    ister
    s,weightl
    ossandpainfulj
    oints.Thedif
    ferenceis
    that,t
    her
    eisnocuref orthi
    svi
    rus,it
    ’sabacteri
    athatwill
    eatherupfrom theinsi
    de.Itwill
    crush
    allheror
    gansti
    llt
    heyshutdown, thedoctorswon’tevenfi
    ndanythi
    ng.”

    Neo:
    “St
    ylosy
    ouneedJesuswena.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Il
    i
    ket
    hepl
    ant
    hough.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Nooga,thi
    siswahala.UneulekaemaobaneStyl
    os?BecauseIswearyouweredinni
    ng
    wit
    hthedev
    ilandnotSet
    hu.”(Thi
    sisapr
    obl
    em boss.Wherewereyouyest
    erdaySt
    yles?
    )

    Me:
    “FunnyNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “NoSt
    ylosman,
    ser
    iousl
    y.Youar
    esi
    ck.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notsi
    ck,
    Ijustcomeupwi
    thpl
    ans.Whi
    l
    eyout
    alkt
    oomuch.
    ”

    Hesni
    gger
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“WhataboutSegun?Hei
    ssoobsessedov
    ert
    hatwoman.
    ”
    Me:
    “Segunmustgobackt
    oGhana,
    youknowIdon’
    ttouchf
    ami
    l
    yri
    ght
    ?Neocandeal
    wit
    hhi
    m.”

    Neo:“Obatl
    annakebhodi
    setai
    may aoga.Never,Ir
    efuse.Iseethedev
    ilgav
    eyouamessage,
    t
    ellhi
    my oudidn’
    tfi
    ndme.
    ”(Youwantmet oki
    l
    l Randall
    ’
    sf at
    her?
    )

    Randal
    l
    :“Neowoul
    dyoust
    opbei
    ngdr
    amat
    ic?
    ”

    Me:
    “Yeahr
    elax,
    youj
    usthav
    etobl
    ockhi
    mfr
    om ent
    eri
    ngt
    hecount
    ry.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Oh!UabuanouSt
    ylos.
    ”(Now,
    you’
    ret
    alki
    ng.
    ”

    Iknewhewoul
    dlov
    ethi
    s.

    Me: “Youneedt
    ochangetheexpi
    rydateonhisvi
    sa,I
    fewil
    lgetushi
    spassport
    .Oncehe
    reachesGhana,
    weblockhimfrom ent
    eri
    ngthecount
    ry.Wewipehim of
    fthesyst
    em
    compl et
    ely
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“But
    ,he’
    l
    lbeabl
    etoappl
    yforanot
    herv
    isa.
    ”

    Me:“
    Weblockevery
    thi
    ng,
    bir
    thcer
    ti
    fi
    cat
    eandI
    dnumber
    .MrSegunwi
    l
    lbecomeapr
    isoneri
    n
    hi
    sowncountr
    y.”

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    we’
    recompl
    etel
    ywi
    pinghi
    m of
    f?”

    Me:
    “Notr
    eal
    l
    y,hej
    ustwon’
    tbeabl
    etoappl
    yfort
    rav
    eldocument
    s.”

    Neo:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    m goodwi
    thI
    Tbut
    ,nott
    hatgood.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lgui
    dey
    oudon’
    twor
    ry.Ihat
    ethatman,
    noof
    fenceRandy
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Nonet
    aken.Thatmani
    shol
    dingadeepsecr
    etSt
    yles,
    Ineedt
    oknowwhati
    tis.
    ”

    Me:
    “Goti
    t.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Let
    ’sdoi
    t,t
    henwecandeal
    wit
    hMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Leav
    eMkhi
    zet
    omeRandy
    ,youconcent
    rat
    eonAmar
    a.”

    Hesmi
    rks.

    NOMBULELO*

    UncleJonasoff
    eredtodr
    opmeof fathome,leavi
    ngmyfatherwashard.Ist
    il
    lcannotseem t
    o
    grasphi
    sstate,
    heisli
    keachil
    dandwoul doccasi
    onal
    l
    ylosetouchwit
    hr eal
    i
    ty.Ihaveafeel
    i
    ng
    somethingbi
    gishappeni
    nginthathouse.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    ordr
    oppi
    ngmeof
    f.
    ”

    Hej
    ustpul
    l
    edupatt
    hecompl
    exgat
    e.
    Idon’
    twanthi
    mtodr
    ivei
    nlest
    ,heseesMbuso.

    Jonas:
    “Wi
    l
    lyouwal
    kfr
    om her
    e?Idon’
    tmi
    nddr
    ivi
    ngi
    n.”

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    ner
    eal
    l
    ybesi
    des,
    Ineedt
    hewal
    k.”

    Jonas:
    “Okay
    ,letmegetgoi
    ngt
    hen.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Ij
    umpoutoft
    hecaraf
    terbi
    dinghi
    m goodby
    e.

    He’
    snotdr
    ivi
    ngaway
    .He’
    swat
    chi
    ngme,
    letmewal
    kfast
    erso,
    hel
    eav
    es.

    Iscr
    eam whenIf
    eel
    ati
    ghtgr
    ipenci
    rcl
    ear
    oundmywai
    stf
    rom t
    heback.

    “
    Hey
    ,it
    ’sme.
    ”

    Mbuso…

    Gosh!

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngsneaki
    nguponmel
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?Myuncl
    eisher
    e.”

    Iwhi
    speri
    nhopest
    hathewi
    l
    lletgo.

    Mbuso:
    “Wher
    eandwhyar
    ewewhi
    sper
    ing?
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    sback.

    Me:
    “Behi
    ndy
    ou.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Yey
    iwenamf
    ana,
    wenzani
    ?”(
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngboy
    ?)

    Mbuso:
    “Shi
    t!
    ”

    Hecussesi
    naghost
    lyt
    one.

    Mbusopul
    l
    sawayf
    rom mei
    nfl
    ashandswi
    vel
    stomyuncl
    e.Thi
    smanwasnotmeantt
    osee
    t
    his.

    Mbuso:
    “Unj
    ani
    baba.
    ”(Howar
    eyousi
    r?)

    Asoundofner
    vousnesscov
    ershi
    svoi
    ce.

    Jonas:
    “Angi
    yenaubabawakho.
    ”(Iam noty
    ourf
    ather
    .)

    Her
    etor
    tswi
    that
    emper
    .

    Me:
    “Uncl
    e,t
    hisi
    smyf
    ri
    endMbuso.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Mbusof
    rom wher
    e?Doy
    oul
    i
    vewi
    tht
    hisboyLel
    o?”

    He’
    sdi
    sappoi
    nted.

    Mbusogl
    ancesatme.
    Me:
    “Wedon’
    tli
    vet
    oget
    her
    ,weshar
    eaf
    lat
    .”

    Myturntoli
    e,t
    hismanwi
    l
    ldr
    agmebackt
    omyf
    ather
    ’shousei
    fhef
    indsoutwe’
    rei
    na
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    p.

    Mbusost
    eal
    sagl
    ancef
    rom me,
    Ihopeheunder
    stands.

    Jonas:
    “Isi
    tjustthet
    woofy ou?Lel
    oyoucan’
    tbel
    i
    vingwi
    thaboy
    ,theset
    hingsdon’
    tknowhow
    tocont
    rolt
    heirhormones.
    ”

    Iam nott
    ryi
    ngt
    ohearanyoft
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “No,
    ther
    e’sanot
    hergi
    rl
    .It
    ’sj
    ustt
    het
    hreeofus.
    ”

    Hesqui
    ntshiseyes,hedoesn’
    tbeli
    eveme.I’
    m badatl
    yi
    ng,Mbusoshoul
    dcomeupwi
    th
    somet
    hingtoo.Inudgehim,hesl
    ightl
    yshr
    ugshisshoul
    der
    s.

    Jonas:
    “Wher
    eist
    hisgi
    rl
    ?Iwantt
    oseeher
    .”

    Not
    hingpr
    epar
    edmef
    ort
    his.

    Mbuso:
    “She’
    satwor
    kbaba.
    ”

    Gr
    eat
    ,hi
    sbr
    ainst
    il
    lwor
    ks.Uncl
    efr
    ownsatMbuso,
    thepoorguyi
    sner
    vousenough.

    Jonas:
    “Wher
    eist
    hef
    atherofy
    ourchi
    l
    d?I
    sitt
    hisf
    ool
    ?”

    Iknewi
    t…

    Thi
    smani
    stoosmar
    tforme.

    Me:
    “Mal
    ume?
    ”(Uncl
    e?)

    Jonas:
    “Ungi
    zwi
    l
    e.”(
    Youhear
    dme.
    )

    WhatdoIsay?Ial
    readyl
    iedaboutMbusonotbei
    ngmypar
    tnerandIam notaboutt
    oment
    ion
    t
    hati
    diotZuma,hedoesn’tdeser
    vet
    hist
    it
    le.

    Jonas:
    “I’
    m wai
    ti
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    kabouti
    t.
    ”

    Imummerundermybr
    eat
    h.

    Jonas:
    “Angi
    zwanga.
    ”(Idi
    dn’
    theary
    ou.
    )

    Me:
    “Isai
    dIdon’
    twantt
    otal
    kabouti
    t.
    ”

    Isay
    ,loudenoughf
    orhi
    mtohear
    .

    He’
    snothappy
    .

    Jonas:
    “Whatdoest
    hatmean?Iwantt
    oknowwhot
    hef
    atheroft
    hatbabyi
    s.”

    Hei
    nsi
    sts.
    Mbuso:
    “Baba.
    ..
    ”

    Uncl
    e’
    srai
    sedhand,
    prev
    ent
    sMbusof
    rom speaki
    nganyf
    urt
    her
    .

    Jonas:
    “Iam nott
    alki
    ngt
    oyou,
    boy
    .Yousai
    dyou’
    rer
    oommat
    es,
    right
    ?”

    Mbusonods,
    we’
    rei
    nadi
    l
    emma.Aposi
    ti
    onwher
    ewecan’
    tsayorgest
    ureany
    thi
    ngbut
    ,Mbuso
    i
    snoddi
    ng.

    Thi
    smant
    hough.

    Ineedagr
    eatescape,
    uncl
    eJonaswi
    l
    lnotl
    ett
    hisgo.

    Jonas:
    “Whyar
    eyoust
    il
    lher
    ethen?Go.
    ”

    No,no.Hecan’
    tleav
    emet
    ofacehi
    m al
    one,
    Ishi
    ftabi
    tcl
    osert
    ohi
    m,mot
    ioni
    ngt
    hathebet
    ter
    notmoveaninch.

    Jonas:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    He’
    stoosuspi
    ciousf
    ormyl
    i
    king.

    Me:
    “Not
    hing.
    ”

    Wher
    eismymannaf
    rom heav
    en?Thi
    smani
    sst
    ressi
    ngmeout
    .

    Hi
    sphoner
    ings.

    Ther
    eiti
    s,Iam sav
    ed.

    MbusoandIexchangegl
    ances,
    he’
    salsowonderi
    ngwhyt
    hisol
    dmani snotanswer
    inghi
    s
    phone.I
    nst
    ead,
    he’sgl
    ari
    ngatusli
    kewe’l
    lrunt
    hemomenthebli
    nks.

    Me:
    “Mal
    umey
    ourphonei
    sri
    ngi
    ng.
    ”

    Hef
    rownsatusbef
    oreat
    tendi
    ngt
    ohi
    scal
    l
    s,i
    tseemst
    obei
    mpor
    tant
    .

    Jonas:
    “Ihav
    etogoLel
    o,I
    ’
    m notdonewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Uhambekahl
    emal
    ume.
    ”(Goodby
    euncl
    e.)

    Hegi
    vesMbusoanuncomf
    ort
    abl
    elook,
    Ili
    ter
    all
    yfel
    tit
    .

    Wedon’
    twai
    tforhi
    m but
    ,inuni
    sont
    urnandbegi
    ntr
    eadi
    ngt
    owar
    dst
    hegat
    e.

    Mbuso:
    “So,
    whenIcomet
    opayl
    obol
    a.Wi
    l
    lhebepr
    esent
    ?”

    Thehi
    ntst
    hismangi
    vesl
    atel
    y,Il
    ovehowheseesaf
    utur
    ewi
    thme.

    Me:
    “Fr
    ontr
    owsi
    t,he’
    l
    lbet
    heonel
    eadi
    ngev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Dammi
    t,Idon’
    tseehi
    m gi
    vi
    ngy
    ouaway
    .”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lner
    vous.

    Mbuso:
    “Doy
    out
    hinkhe’
    sst
    il
    lther
    e?Ihav
    eaf
    eel
    i
    nghe’
    swat
    chi
    ngus,
    Ifeel
    hisey
    esst
    abbi
    ng
    me.
    ”

    It
    urnt
    ocheck.

    Mbuso:
    “No,
    don’
    tlook.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    s.

    Iknewhewasscar
    edofhi
    m backt
    her
    ebut
    ,hey
    ,thi
    smani
    ster
    ri
    fi
    ed.

    Me:
    “Mal
    ume.
    ”

    Ical
    lout
    .

    Mbusoswi
    vel
    stof
    indnoone.Hel
    aughswhenIbur
    stoutl
    aughi
    ng.

    Mbuso:
    “Thi
    sisnotgood,
    I’
    m adoct
    orbut
    ,Ican’
    tst
    opmy
    sel
    ffr
    om get
    ti
    ngahear
    tat
    tack.
    ”

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”

    Iexpr
    essi
    namusement
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Youruncl
    eissomet
    hingel
    se.
    ”

    Hedecl
    areswi
    thagent
    lesmi
    l
    e.

    I
    sitpossi
    blef
    oronet
    obesohappy
    ?Somet
    imesi
    tfeel
    sli
    keadr
    eam andIwi
    l
    lwakeupt
    o
    r
    eali
    ty.

    Me:
    “Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”

    Irememberday
    swhenmymotherwouldr
    epri
    mandmeformyforwardness,Ishoul
    d’v
    eli
    stened.
    Lookwherei
    thasgot
    tenmet
    oandthisawkwardl
    ookonhi
    sfaceisnothelpi
    ngatall.

    Iwalkon,duetohi
    ssi
    l
    ence,
    leav
    inghi
    m behi
    nd.Idon’
    tknowi
    fIcaughthi
    m of
    fguar
    dorhe
    doesn’
    tfeelt
    hesame.

    If
    eel
    li
    keani
    diot
    .

    AMARA*

    Li
    yanacomesr
    unni
    ngt
    omeandhandsmeasunf
    lower
    ,Ismi
    l
    eather
    .

    Me:
    “What
    ’st
    hisf
    or?
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esandpoi
    ntsbehi
    ndme,
    Itur
    ntof
    indRandal
    lwat
    chi
    ngme.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouLi
    ya.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esandr
    unsof
    f.

    It
    urnbackt
    oRandal
    lwhoi
    sambl
    i
    ngt
    owar
    dsme.
    Me:
    “What
    ’st
    hisf
    or?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m cour
    ti
    ngy
    ou,
    yousai
    dit
    ’st
    hesi
    mpl
    ethi
    ngst
    hatcount
    ,ri
    ght
    ?”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Hekeepsani
    ntensegazeonme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingIneedt
    otel
    lyou,
    mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    I
    ’
    m notsur
    eifIshoul
    dthi
    nkser
    iousoft
    hismat
    ter
    ,hi
    sexpr
    essi
    onhasn’
    tchanged.

    Me:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Let
    ’ssi
    t.
    ”

    Hepul
    l
    smedownnextt
    ohi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ihav
    en’
    ttol
    dyoumuchaboutmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Act
    ual
    l
    yhehasn’
    ttol
    dmeany
    thi
    ngabouthi
    msel
    f,Idon’
    trespondbut
    ,wai
    tforhi
    mtocont
    inue.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thatmany
    ousawy
    est
    erdayi
    smyf
    ather
    ,SegunOkol
    i
    e.”

    If
    igur
    edt
    hatoneout
    .

    Randall
    :“Thisi
    sapastIdon’tl
    iketotalkaboutbut,Ican’tkeepthi
    sfrom y
    ou.Iwasbor ni
    nto
    royal
    ty,
    beingthesecondsonofmyf at
    her.From bir
    th,Iwaschosent ot
    akeov erf
    rom hi
    m.It
    hasbeenf orgener
    ati
    onsthat,
    theonewhoi sheirapparent,awif
    eischosenforhim.Ihave
    alwaysbeenagainsti
    tandmyf atherunderstood.Weagr eedthatIwoul
    dchoosemyownwi f
    e.
    Segunbeinghimselfdeci
    dedtogoagai nstmeandmar r
    iedmeof f
    .”

    Hi
    swor
    dsshaket
    heear
    thf
    rom beneat
    hme.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notsur
    eIf
    oll
    ow.
    ”

    Hecl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    ,asheshuf
    fl
    esonhi
    sseat
    .

    Randall
    :“Idon’
    tknowhowitwasdonebut
    ,wi
    tht
    hehel
    pofatr
    adi
    ti
    onal
    i
    st,
    myf
    atherper
    for
    med
    amar r
    iagerit
    ualwher
    e,Iwasmar
    ri
    edofft
    osomewoman.”

    Me:
    “Youhav
    eawi
    fe?

    Hef
    rowns.

    Randal
    l
    :“No,
    Idon’
    thav
    eawi
    fe.
    ”

    Hesquel
    chesbet
    weenhi
    steet
    h,at
    test
    ingt
    hisasensi
    ti
    vet
    opi
    c.

    Me:
    “Buty
    ouj
    ustsai
    d.”

    Randall
    :“Iknow, Idon’tknowwhathappenedt hatday.Iwasn’tthereAmara.Myfamil
    ybeli
    eves
    i
    ncustomsandt r adit
    ions,
    it’
    sbeenpract
    icedforcentur
    ies.Whatmyf at
    herdi
    disafi
    rstt
    hough,
    forsomer easonhei sdesperat
    eformetoacceptt hi
    sper son.Idon’tmi
    ndtaki
    ngoverfr
    om him,
    i
    fIhavetodoi twi t
    htheonemyhear tchose.Icouldn’
    tkeepy ouinthedark.
    ”
    Heexpl
    ains.

    Mymi
    ndi
    sbl
    ank,
    Ihav
    enowor
    dsatal
    l
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Saysomet
    hing.
    ”

    Hi
    sey
    essear
    chf
    oranswer
    sinmi
    ne.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    osay
    .”

    Icanf
    eel
    atwi
    tchofhur
    tinmyhear
    t.

    Me:
    “Whatdoest
    hismeanf
    orus?
    ”

    Ihav
    egot
    tenusedt
    ohi
    minsol
    i
    ttl
    eti
    me.Wi
    l
    lIbeabl
    etobeawayf
    rom hi
    m?

    Randal
    l
    :“Not
    hingwi
    l
    lchangeAmar
    a,I
    ’
    m notl
    ett
    ingy
    ougo.
    ”

    Hedecl
    areswi
    thasober
    edexpr
    essi
    on.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hatwhyy
    ourf
    atherwassay
    ingt
    hoset
    hingst
    ome?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Yeah,
    he’
    snotl
    ett
    ingt
    hisgo.
    ”

    Me:
    “But
    ,Idon’
    tunder
    stand.You’
    remar
    ri
    ed?
    ”

    Mymi
    ndi
    sbuf
    fer
    ingmef
    rom t
    hisi
    nfor
    mat
    ion.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iam notmar
    ri
    ed,
    li
    keIsai
    d.Iwasn’
    tpr
    esentwhent
    hisr
    it
    ual
    tookpl
    ace.
    ”

    Al
    loft
    hisdr
    ainsme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ineedy
    out
    otr
    ustme,
    Iwi
    l
    lfi
    xthi
    s.”

    Me:
    “How?Randal
    l
    ,you’
    remar
    ri
    ed.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m st
    il
    ltr
    yingt
    ogr
    aspt
    hiswhol
    ethi
    nghence,
    ther
    epet
    it
    ion.

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    opsay
    ingt
    hatpl
    ease.
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s,ashegi
    vesmeashar
    plook.Heappear
    stobef
    rust
    rat
    edbyt
    his.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwoul
    drat
    herwet
    alkaboutsomet
    hingel
    se.
    ”

    Hestat
    es,st
    udyi
    ngmyface.Mybl
    oodchur
    nsashel
    eanshi
    sfacecl
    osert
    omi
    ne,
    Iscootaway
    ,
    onl
    yforhi
    mt opul
    lmebacktohi
    m.

    Me:
    “Can’
    tyout
    hinkofany
    thi
    ngel
    sebut
    ,thi
    s?Yourani
    mal
    lustcont
    rol
    syou.
    ”

    Imumbl
    eashi
    sli
    psmeanderov
    ermyf
    ace,
    hesni
    gger
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iam f
    asci
    nat
    edbyy
    ouAmar
    a.”

    Hegi
    vesar
    easonf
    orhi
    sper
    ver
    tedr
    andom act
    s,ashet
    rai
    l
    sthet
    ipsofhi
    sfi
    nger
    sonmycheek.
    Tobecont
    inued…
    79*

    SETHU*

    WhenIfir
    stmetMr.Styl
    es,
    Ihadnoideathatwewouldbethi
    sclose.Myl i
    fehaschangedsi
    nce
    hecame,Ilookf
    orwardtot
    henextdaybecauseIgett
    oseehim.Ihaven’tdiscl
    osedmy
    br
    okennesstohi
    m, i
    t’
    sbeenoverayearsi
    ncethebetr
    ayal
    andIcan’tseem togetoveri
    t.

    EachtimeIseeLebo,t
    heimageofherandNtokozonakedinmybedf l
    ashesoverme.Idon’
    t
    knowifIshoul
    dhateherf
    orwhatshedid,mymot herhasf
    orcedmetoov erl
    ookhermist
    akes.I
    tr
    ustthatwoman’
    sjudgement,shei
    smymot herandshewillnev
    erdoanythi
    ngtohurtme.
    Alt
    hough,i
    tseemsshelovesLebomore.

    Ther
    ear
    eti
    meswhenIwoul
    dcat
    chLebogl
    ari
    ngatme,
    herl
    ookscanbebonechi
    l
    li
    ng.

    Lebol ovest
    hespotl
    i
    ght,
    shef al
    l
    ssi
    ckwhennoonegivesherat
    tenti
    on.It
    hinksheisconvi
    nced
    thatli
    feisacompeti
    ti
    on,choosi
    ngt
    hesamecareerwasn’
    tbychance.Shewasstudyi
    ngbeauty
    therapyandthemomentnewsgotoutthatIwasst
    udyi
    ngNursi
    ng,shedroppedhercourseand
    camet onur
    sing.

    IrememberwhenIboughtmycar
    ,somethi
    ngsmall
    togetmef r
    om AtoB.Hercommentwas
    that
    ,shecandobet
    ter
    .Af ewmont
    hslat
    ershewentandgothersel
    fabi
    ggercar
    .

    Thesamehappenedwit
    hNt okozo,only
    ,shedi
    dn’
    tgetsomeoneelse.Shewentf orhi
    m, af
    ter
    monthsoft
    ryi
    ngtoconvi
    ncemet hathewasbadforme.Shewouldtellmestoriesabouthow
    shesawhim wi
    thsomegirl
    andhowNt okozowoul
    dmakepassesather .Herinputputastrai
    n
    i
    nourrel
    ati
    onshi
    p,Nt
    okozoandIwer eoneachot
    her’
    sthr
    oatsal
    lthetime.

    Peaceceasedtoexi
    sti
    nourr
    elat
    ionship,i
    tcametoapoi ntwher
    ehewouldlayahandonme.
    Oneslapbecametwoandbef
    oreIknewi t,hewouldhavehiswaywit
    hme.Iwoul dl
    eavehi
    m
    onl
    ytogobackwhenhecomespl eading.Theabusedidn’
    tstop,
    Ist
    ayedbecauseIl
    ovedhi
    m.

    Sl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmycousi
    nwast
    hef
    inal
    str
    aw,
    Ilef
    tandnev
    erl
    ookedback.

    Lebo:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Shebudgesi
    ntomyhouse, Iam usedtot hi
    s.Lebohar
    dlyeverknocks,t
    herear
    eday
    swhenshe
    woul
    dsleepoverwi
    thoutasking.Ican’
    treal
    lyprot
    estbecauseshe’
    sf amil
    y.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dIdo?
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Wi
    tht
    hatmanSet
    hu.Isawy
    oul
    eav
    ewi
    thhi
    m.”

    Oh,
    that
    .

    Me:
    “He’
    smyf
    ri
    end,
    so?
    ”
    Amocki
    ngl
    aughescapeshermout
    h.

    Lebo:“You’
    vegott
    obeki
    ddi
    ngme.Sur
    elyy
    oucan’
    tbet
    hisst
    upi
    d,amanl
    i
    kehi
    m doesnot
    befr
    iendgir
    lsl
    ikey
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Gi
    rl
    sli
    keme?
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es,
    it’
    sherf
    avour
    it
    ethi
    ngt
    odo.

    Lebo:
    “Yeah.YouknowwhatImean.
    ”

    Me:
    “NoLebo,
    Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    oumean,
    pleaseexpl
    ain.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Youdon’
    thav
    etobedr
    amat
    icaboutt
    hisSet
    hu,
    Iam j
    ustl
    ooki
    ngoutf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Sher
    ipost
    esasshescansmybodywi
    thherey
    es.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tneedy
    oul
    ooki
    ngoutf
    orme,
    I’
    vegott
    his.
    ”

    Lebo:“
    That
    ’snotwhati
    tlooksl
    i
    ke,
    may
    beIshoul
    dtel
    launtt
    hat
    ,you’
    reent
    ert
    aini
    ngmeni
    nyour
    house.
    ”

    Thi
    sisher
    ,thi
    sist
    het
    ypeofper
    sonshei
    s.

    Me:
    “Whati
    syourpr
    obl
    em wi
    thhi
    m?Hedi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    oyou?
    ”

    Shei
    susedt
    ocal
    l
    ingt
    heshot
    s.

    Lebo:“
    I’
    mtr
    yingt
    olookoutf
    ory
    ouSet
    hu,
    Iknowhownaï
    vey
    oucanbe.Yout
    hinkev
    ery
    onehas
    ahalo.
    ”

    Me:
    “Li
    ke,
    howIt
    houghty
    ouhadahal
    o,bef
    orey
    ousl
    eptwi
    thmyboy
    fri
    end.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esatme.

    Lebo:
    “Thatwasami
    stake.
    ”

    Shemumbl
    esasshet
    hrowsher
    sel
    fonmycouch.

    Me:
    “Okayso,
    yousl
    i
    ppedandf
    ell
    onhi
    sdi
    ckmor
    ethanonce?
    ”

    Ir
    etur
    nrudel
    y.

    Lebo:
    “Hey,
    youdon’thav
    etospeakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .And,
    whymusty
    oudwel
    lont
    hepastSet
    hu?
    Geez,
    getoveri
    tal
    ready.
    ”

    Shespi
    tst
    hewordsoutasshef
    oldsherarms.Leboi
    sar
    rogantandcondescendi
    ng,
    she’
    s
    i
    nconsi
    der
    ateandt
    hinkst
    heworl
    dofherself
    .

    Me:
    “Iwasaboutt
    ogot
    obed,
    Ihadal
    ongni
    ght
    .Pl
    easel
    eav
    e.”

    Shet
    il
    tsherheadsl
    i
    ght
    lyt
    othesi
    deandnar
    rowsherey
    esatme.

    Lebo:
    “Ngempel
    a?You’
    ret
    hrowi
    ngmeoutofy
    ourpl
    ace?
    ”(Real
    l
    y?)
    Me:“I
    ’
    m nott
    hrowi
    ngy
    ouout
    ,I’
    m si
    mpl
    yaski
    ngy
    out
    oleav
    ebecauseI
    ’
    mti
    redandIneedt
    o
    sl
    eep.
    ”

    Shegi
    vesmeanunpl
    easantst
    arebef
    orecl
    i
    cki
    nghert
    ongue.Shej
    umpsup,
    Idr
    awbackwhen
    shef
    uri
    ousl
    ytr
    eadst
    owardsme.She’
    sknowntobevi
    olent
    .

    Lebo:
    “Wena,
    uzony
    a.Thatl
    owl
    i
    fewi
    l
    ldest
    royy
    ou,
    wat
    ch.
    ”(Youwi
    l
    lregr
    ett
    his.
    )

    Shebangsmydooronherwayout
    .

    AMARA*

    IthoughtIwasokaybut,nowit’
    sbegi
    nningt
    ocutsodeep.Thet
    houghtofRandal
    lbel
    ongi
    ngt
    o
    someoneel sesuf
    focat
    esme, Iknowhesayshewant
    snot hi
    ngt
    odowi t
    hher.Am Iwr
    ong
    though,t
    owanthimt obelongtomealone?

    Hisf
    athercarr
    ieshat
    redi
    nhiseyesandthati
    senoughtoknowthathi
    sbl
    essi
    ngswil
    lnever
    dwel
    lamongus.Whatpat hwil
    lwetakewhenherefusest
    oacceptme?Wecan’tgoast
    ray,
    I
    woul
    ddef i
    nit
    elyl
    osemyway .

    Randal
    l
    :“Amar
    a,Amar
    a.”

    Ibl
    i
    nkatt
    hesoundofhi
    svoi
    cecal
    l
    ingme,
    ashewav
    eshi
    shandt
    osnapmeout
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    vebeent
    alki
    ngt
    oyou,
    youdr
    if
    tedaway
    .”

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry.Whatwast
    hat
    ?”

    Wehav
    en'
    tl
    eftt
    hel
    ounge.

    Randal
    l
    :“You’
    rel
    osti
    nthought
    .”

    Hegi
    vesmeast
    ernl
    ookasher
    eachesf
    ormyhand.

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    otherhur
    ryi
    t’
    sLi
    yana.
    ”

    I
    fescur
    ri
    esdownt
    hest
    air
    s,.

    Randal
    l
    :“What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thLi
    ya?
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “She’
    shav
    ingasei
    zur
    e,Idon’
    tknowwhathappened.
    ”

    Sheexpl
    ains.

    Randal
    l
    :“What
    ?”

    Randal
    lj
    umpsupandscut
    tl
    esupt
    hest
    air
    s,t
    aki
    ngt
    wost
    epsatat
    ime.
    Wer
    ushaf
    terhi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Li
    ya!
    ”

    Hehowlsdashi
    ngi
    ntoherr
    oom,
    hert
    inybodyi
    sconv
    ulsi
    ngont
    hef
    loorandhermout
    his
    f
    orming.

    Randal
    l
    :“Li
    yana.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    wewer
    esi
    tt
    ing,
    thenshej
    ustf
    ell
    and.
    ..
    ”

    Hersobst
    akeov
    erherwor
    ds.

    Randal
    l
    :“Cal
    lanambul
    ance.
    ”

    Heinst
    ruct
    s,st
    rangehowpani
    cisnotv
    isi
    bleonhi
    m.Thi
    scal
    m demeanourofhi
    sscar
    esme
    someti
    mes.

    I
    ferunsoutoftheroom,
    Ithi
    nkt
    ogetherphone.Randal
    lgent
    lyt
    urnsLi
    yaont
    oonesi
    dewhi
    l
    e
    hol
    dingherhead.

    Randal
    l
    :“Passmet
    hepi
    l
    low.
    ”

    Iobl
    i
    ge,
    hecushi
    onsherheadwi
    thi
    t.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thher
    ?”

    Iaskt
    heobv
    ious.

    Randal
    l
    :“Idon’
    tknow,
    thi
    shasnev
    erhappenedbef
    ore.
    ”

    Chi
    omal
    urchesi
    ntot
    her
    oom andi
    mmedi
    atel
    yfal
    l
    sint
    oapani
    cmode.

    Randal
    l
    :“Dammi
    t.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    sseei
    ngt
    hathi
    smet
    hodi
    sfai
    l
    ing,
    ast
    hesei
    zur
    esi
    ncr
    ease.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,tel
    lmewhatt
    odo.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “Whati
    shappeni
    ngt
    oher
    ?”

    Shequer
    ies,
    Randal
    ll
    ookshel
    pless.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wher
    eisI
    fe?
    ”

    Hepaysnoat
    tent
    iontoourinter
    rogat
    ion.I
    fehasbeengonef
    ort
    ool
    ong,
    sheshoul
    dbebackby
    now.Ibumpi
    ntoher,
    asIstarttofl
    eetowardsthedoor
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    other
    ,agy
    awant
    stospeakt
    oyou.Ibr
    oughtbasi
    l
    ,hesai
    dtomakehersni
    ffi
    t.
    ”(Fat
    her
    .)

    Hepeekssi
    deway
    sather
    ,wi
    thami
    ff
    edexpr
    essi
    on.

    Randal
    l
    :“Di
    dyoucal
    lanambul
    ance?
    ”
    Hebl
    atant
    lyi
    gnor
    esherannouncement
    .

    I
    fe:“
    Agyacall
    edbeforeIcoul
    ddoi
    t,hewant
    stospeakt
    oyou.Hecanhel
    pLi
    ya.Pl
    easegi
    veher
    t
    hisbrot
    her
    .”(Fat
    her.
    )

    Randal
    lhesi
    tat
    es,
    Iknowhe’
    saboutt
    opr
    otest
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Chi
    oma,
    cal
    lanambul
    ance.
    ”

    Shef
    iddl
    esf
    orherphoneathi
    scommand.

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    other
    …”

    It
    aket
    hebasi
    lfr
    om I
    fe,
    usemyf
    inger
    stosquashi
    tandbr
    eaki
    tint
    opi
    eces,
    rel
    easi
    ngt
    hear
    oma.

    IknowRandal
    li
    satdagger
    s-dr
    awnwi
    thhi
    sfat
    herbut
    ,thi
    sisnott
    het
    imet
    obesel
    fi
    sh.

    Withmyeyespl
    eadi
    ngonbehalfoft
    hischil
    dwho’scaughtupbet
    weentheset
    women,Ir
    each
    outmyhandtoRandal
    l
    ,heneedstoputhisstubbor
    nnessasi
    deandthi
    nkofLi
    yana.

    Hegr
    imacesatmeasi
    fchi
    dingme.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easet
    akei
    t,doi
    tforLi
    ya.
    ”

    Ibeseech,
    desper
    atel
    y.

    Reluct
    ant
    ly,
    hesnat
    chesi
    t.Wewatch,ashewav
    esitov
    erhernost
    ri
    ls,
    itdoesn’
    ttakel
    ongf
    or
    thesei
    zur
    et osl
    owdown.She’
    sfi
    nal
    lyabl
    etobr
    eat
    heonherown.

    Randal
    l
    :“Pr
    incess.
    ”

    Hesi
    tsherup,
    bef
    orescoopi
    ngherupi
    nhi
    sar
    msandl
    aysheront
    hebed.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Shenodssl
    owl
    y,f
    ati
    gueshowi
    ngonherf
    ace.

    STYLES*

    Thepl
    ant
    odest
    royMkhi
    zei
    sinmot
    ion,
    Ical
    l
    edKennet
    hov
    er.Li
    keNeo,
    Kennet
    hisanol
    dfr
    iend.

    Neohasbeendi
    stantsi
    nceKennet
    hgother
    e,hecan’
    tbel
    i
    evehowt
    heguyhaschanged.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    youneedt
    ost
    opst
    ari
    ng.You’
    remaki
    ngt
    hemanuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.”

    Neo:
    “St
    ylos,
    Idon’
    tunder
    standt
    hef
    ri
    endsy
    oukeep.Youl
    i
    kedev
    ilwor
    shi
    pper
    s,neh?
    ”

    It
    hinkKennethheardhim.Idon’
    tknowabouthi
    m bei
    ngadevi
    lworshi
    perbut,
    Iknowheispart
    ofabrot
    herhood.Ihavenoideawhatisbei
    ngdonether
    e,t
    hechur
    chorgatheri
    ngrat
    her
    ,isat
    ni
    ght.
    Me:
    “St
    op.
    ”

    Neo:
    “It
    hinkI
    ’
    mtheonl
    ynor
    mal
    fri
    endy
    ouhav
    e,l
    eUzei
    sal
    mostl
    i
    ket
    hisone.
    ”

    Hecont
    inues,
    hispr
    att
    li
    ngwi
    l
    lgethi
    mint
    roubl
    eoneday
    .

    Kennet
    hcanhearev
    ery
    thi
    ng,
    thescowl
    onhi
    sfacesay
    she’
    snott
    hri
    l
    led.

    Me:
    “You’
    reembar
    rassi
    ngme.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Kennet
    hnt
    wana,
    oreng?I
    t’
    sbeenl
    ong,
    you’
    vechangedhey
    .”(
    Howar
    eyou?
    )

    Now,
    he’
    ssmi
    l
    ing.It
    houghtKennet
    hcr
    eepedhi
    m out
    .

    Kennet
    h:“
    You’
    rest
    il
    lthesame.
    ”

    Her
    efusest
    oret
    urnt
    hesmi
    l
    e,Idoubtheknowshowt
    o.

    Neo:
    “Yeah,
    blackdon’
    tcr
    acknt
    wana.
    ”(Boy
    .)

    I
    t’
    sti
    meIwr
    apt
    hisup.

    Neo:
    “Doy
    ouknowNkomo,
    he’
    sal
    soaMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Thenagai
    n,Neowi
    l
    lnotgi
    vemeachance.Kennet
    hshakeshi
    shead,
    negat
    ivel
    y.

    Neo:
    “Youshoul
    dmeethi
    m,may
    bey
    ou’
    l
    lseear
    esembl
    ance.
    ”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Iwoul
    dknowi
    fMkhi
    zewasmyf
    ather
    .”

    Neo:
    “Oh,
    kannet
    e?Joang?
    ”(Real
    l
    y?How?
    )

    Kennet
    h:“
    Myf
    atherdi
    ed,
    Iki
    l
    ledhi
    m.”

    Hedel
    i
    ver
    shi
    sri
    post
    einadeadpanv
    oice.Neogul
    ps,
    that
    ’senought
    oshuthi
    m up.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Sty
    les,
    I’
    ll
    hearf
    rom y
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Sur
    e,I
    ’
    llcal
    lyou.
    ”

    Neo:
    “ShoshoKenny
    .”

    Badmov
    eNeo,
    hedet
    est
    sbei
    ngcal
    l
    edt
    hat
    .

    Kennet
    h:“
    Youshoul
    dcomet
    omychur
    chNeo,
    you’
    l
    llov
    eit
    .”

    Hi
    ssmi
    rkshut
    sNeoup,
    Ihav
    enev
    erseenhi
    m speechl
    essbef
    ore.I
    t’
    ski
    ndoff
    unny
    .

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lmakesur
    etodr
    ophi
    m of
    f,y
    ousai
    dit
    ’sat12am r
    ight
    ?”

    Neo:
    “Huh?
    ”

    Hi
    sey
    espopopen.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Ont
    hedot
    .”

    Neo’
    sfacei
    spr
    icel
    essr
    ightnow.
    Neo:“Sty
    los,IknowIcanbeapai nint
    heassmar antwana,uskaichunnadai
    ding.Thatmanis
    adevi
    l worshi
    pperandyoujustaccept
    edaninv
    itati
    ontohischurch.Youknowtheytakethese
    t
    hingsseriousri
    ght?
    ”(Don’
    tthat.
    )

    Hecompl
    ainsasIshutt
    hedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Rel
    ax,
    hewaski
    ddi
    ng.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Oh,
    okay
    .But
    ,isher
    eal
    l
    yinacul
    t.
    ”

    Hedi
    gs.

    Me:
    "May
    be.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Neo:
    “Eh,
    eh,
    Sty
    los.Bonal
    ehl
    any
    alahao.
    ”(Lookaty
    ourcr
    azygi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    )

    It
    urnt
    owher
    ehe’
    spoi
    nti
    ng,
    toseeKhet
    hupeeki
    ngt
    hrought
    heki
    tchenwi
    ndow.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sshedoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Imar
    cht
    owar
    dst
    heki
    tchen,
    shesmi
    l
    esandwav
    es,
    assheseesmeappr
    oachi
    ng.

    Neo:
    “Er
    engnumbery
    akoSt
    erkf
    ont
    ein?
    ”(What
    ’sSt
    erkf
    ont
    ein’
    snumber
    ?)

    Hepul
    l
    southi
    sphone,
    Igi
    vehi
    m awar
    ningl
    ook.

    Khethusmi
    l
    eswi
    del
    yasIopent
    hewi
    ndow.Iwon’
    topent
    hedoorf
    orherl
    est
    ,sheseesi
    tasan
    i
    nvit
    e.

    Khet
    hu:
    “Hi
    .”

    If
    eelapangofhurtasmyeyesscanherbody
    ,herey
    esf
    all
    heav
    ywi
    thexhaust
    ion,
    shel
    ooks
    dr
    ainedandnoti
    nherri
    ghtst
    ate.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “CanIpl
    easecomei
    n?”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyougett
    hrought
    hegat
    e?”

    Khet
    hu:
    “Iusedmykey
    s.Won’
    tyoul
    etmei
    n?”

    Thesmi
    l
    est
    il
    lremai
    ns.

    Me:
    “GohomeKhet
    hu.
    ”

    Herey
    eswat
    eri
    nresponset
    omyr
    equest
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “Ihadaf
    ightwi
    thmymot
    her
    ,Ican’
    tgobackt
    her
    e.”

    Idon’
    tthi
    nkIcanst
    andt
    his.Whathav
    eIdonet
    othi
    swoman?

    Khet
    hu:
    “Rememberhowy
    ouusedt
    omakemef
    eel
    bet
    terwhenshewoul
    dfi
    ghtme,
    you
    pr
    otect
    edme.Imi
    sst
    hatSt
    yles,
    Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”

    Tear
    sshowupandst
    ri
    dedownhercheeks,
    shedoesn’
    tbot
    hert
    owi
    pet
    hem.

    Iknowhowhurtshewouldbe,aft
    erNobay
    eni
    hashadherwaywi
    thher
    ,Icanal
    mostf
    eel
    the
    paint
    hathasgl
    ossedhereyes.

    Me:
    “Youcancomei
    n,I
    ’
    llcal
    lyourf
    ather
    .”

    Neo:
    “Heeh!Comei
    nwher
    e?Shei
    snotent
    eri
    ngt
    hishouse.
    ”

    Neopr
    otest
    s,If
    orgothewasst
    andi
    ngher
    e.

    Me:
    “Neo,
    sheneedshel
    p.”

    Neo:
    “Hel
    peaeng,
    shemustgot
    oherf
    ather
    ’shousef
    orhel
    p.”(
    Hel
    pforwhat
    ?)

    Khet
    hu:
    “Neo,
    thi
    sisnoty
    ourhouse.Whyar
    eyouher
    eany
    way
    ?”

    Shear
    gues.

    Neo:
    “Uenaubat
    laengmona.
    ”(Whatdoy
    ouwanther
    e?)

    Choosi
    ngt
    oignor
    ehi
    m,It
    oil
    towar
    dst
    heexi
    tdoor
    .Her
    unsaf
    termeandbl
    ocksmyway
    .

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Ihav
    enev
    erseenhi
    m soangr
    y.

    Neo:“
    Not hi
    ng,
    marasomethingisdefi
    nit
    elywr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou.Ir
    especty
    ouSt
    ylosbut
    ,ify
    ouopen
    f
    orlehlanyaeoIwi
    ll
    …’’
    (Thatcrazyper
    son.)

    Me:
    “Whatwi
    l
    lyoudo?
    ”

    Iaskf
    ir
    mly
    .Hescr
    atcheshi
    sheadner
    vousl
    y.

    Neo:“
    Eishsaan!Iwi
    ll
    cal
    lUze,
    hewon’
    thesi
    tat
    etoputheroutandIhopehet
    eachesy
    oua
    l
    essontoo.Youdeser
    veabeat
    ingf
    orbei
    ngbli
    ndedbyher.
    ”

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    open.
    ”

    Sheknocksont
    hewi
    ndow,
    Itwi
    stmyheadt
    oogl
    eather
    .She’
    sdesper
    ate,
    I’
    m caughtbet
    ween
    arockandahar
    dpl
    ace.
    ”

    Neoi
    sser
    iouswi
    tht
    hist
    hreat
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesopen.
    ”

    Shehasgr
    ownr
    est
    less.

    Neo:
    “Yeyt
    samaea,
    har
    enahoubul
    ela.
    ”(Getoutofher
    e,we’
    renotopeni
    ng.
    )

    Hey
    ell
    s.

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    ylesbaby
    ,openpl
    ease.
    ”
    Neo:
    “Ket
    laf
    onel
    aUzenou.
    ”(Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lUzenow.
    )

    Me:
    “You’
    ref
    ull
    ofshi
    t.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Yeah,
    ok’
    sal
    ayo,
    hanahokena.
    ”(She’
    sst
    il
    lnotget
    ti
    ngi
    n.)

    Ioptt
    owal
    kawaybef
    oreIgi
    vei
    ntot
    hisweaknessIhav
    eforher
    .

    Khet
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Sheshout
    saf
    terme.

    Neo:“
    Styl
    esyaeng,st
    ylesy
    aeng?Tsamaeasi
    sihar
    eubat
    lemona.
    ”(St
    opcal
    l
    ingSt
    yles,
    go,
    we
    don’
    twantyouher
    e.)

    Thewayhegoeson,
    Iwoul
    dthi
    nkheknowsaboutt
    heabuse.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    80*

    NOMBULELO*

    Mbusoissomet
    hingel
    se,t
    hisisthesecondt
    imeheisbei
    ngawkwardwithme.Fi
    rsti
    twas
    whenwemadelovefort
    hefirstt
    ime,nowthi
    s.Iexpr
    essmyf
    eel
    ingsforhi
    m andhegoes
    zombi
    eonme.

    Me:
    “Mbuso?
    ”

    He’
    sint
    heki
    tchen,
    Idon’
    tknowwhathe’
    smaki
    ng.Ihav
    eaf
    eel
    i
    nghe’
    sav
    oidi
    ngme.

    Mbuso:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Hedoesn’
    ttwi
    rlt
    olookatme,
    thi
    scompel
    smet
    orel
    easeasi
    gh.

    Me:
    “Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”

    Iexpr
    ess,
    thi
    soughtt
    ogethi
    sat
    tent
    ion.Hest
    opsandf
    inal
    l
    yacknowl
    edgesme.

    Me:
    “Won’
    tyousaysomet
    hing?
    ”

    Hedoesthatt
    hingwhenhe’sner
    vous,
    fli
    ngshi
    shandbehi
    ndhi
    sneckandr
    ubsi
    t.Iwat
    chhi
    m
    ashest
    roll
    stome,hetakesmyhand.

    Mbuso:
    “Ihear
    dwhaty
    ousai
    dLel
    o.Doy
    oumeani
    tthough?
    ”

    Whati
    sheaski
    ngme?

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    thav
    esai
    diti
    fIdi
    dn’
    t.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “You’
    reast
    rongwomanLel
    o,i
    t’
    soneoft
    het
    hingsIadmi
    reabouty
    ou.I
    ’
    m notsur
    e
    t
    hough,
    ifyouar
    eoverhi
    m…”

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?”

    Idr
    awmyhandaway
    ,Ishoul
    d’v
    eknownt
    his.

    Me:
    “Yout
    hinkI
    ’
    m st
    il
    lhunguponZuma?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Nothungupbut
    ,Lel
    oyourwoundswer
    esodeep.Inur
    sedt
    hem r
    emember
    .”

    Me:
    “YesandIam heal
    ed.MbusoIwoul
    dn’
    tsaysomet
    hingIdon’
    tmean.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Ij
    ustwanty
    out
    obesur
    eaboutt
    his,
    thehear
    tisaf
    ragi
    l
    eor
    gan.
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tpl
    aydoct
    orwi
    thmeMbuso.Whati
    sthepr
    obl
    em her
    e?I
    sitbecauseIsai
    ditf
    ir
    st?
    ”

    Ipul
    lbackf
    rom hi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “Youknowi
    t’
    snot
    .”
    Me:
    “Thenwhati
    sit
    ?”

    He’
    snotpr
    ovi
    dingmewi
    thananswer
    .

    Me:
    “Wow.
    ”

    Iam socl
    oset
    ocl
    i
    cki
    ngmyt
    ongue,
    he’
    sannoy
    ingme.

    Hi
    st i
    ghtgri
    ponmyar
    m st
    opsmef
    rom wal
    ki
    ngaway
    ,Iwr
    iggl
    eforf
    reedom,
    hepr
    ovest
    obe
    st
    ronger.

    Mbuso:
    “Don’
    twal
    kawaypl
    ease,
    letmeexpl
    ain.
    ”

    Hef
    reesmyhandf
    rom hi
    scl
    utch,
    Ist
    epbackasIcr
    ossmyar
    ms.Thi
    sbet
    terbegood.

    Mbuso:“
    Thatdaywhenyouwer
    ereadyt
    okil
    lthatman,Isawhowdeephecuty
    ouandIknewi
    t
    wi
    llt
    akeawhil
    eforyout
    ogetoverhi
    m.I
    thasn’tbeenl
    ong…”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyousay
    ingi
    t’
    simpossi
    blet
    olov
    esomeonei
    nasmal
    lspaceoft
    ime?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “No.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyousay
    ingt
    hen,
    Mbuso?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m get
    ti
    ngf
    rust
    rat
    ed.

    Mbuso:
    “Lov
    eisabeaut
    if
    ult
    hingLel
    oandIknowi
    t’
    swhatIf
    eel
    fory
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whati
    sthepr
    obl
    em t
    hen?You’
    ret
    alki
    ngMbusobut
    ,you’
    renotmaki
    ngsense.
    ”

    Heopenshi
    smout
    htospeakandi
    sst
    oppedbyhi
    sphoner
    ingi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easedon’
    tansweri
    t.
    ”

    Iwantcl
    ari
    ty,
    hecan'
    tl
    eav
    emehangi
    ng.

    Hecheckst
    hecal
    l
    erI
    dandsi
    ghs.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Ihav
    etot
    aket
    his.
    ”

    Iwatchhim asheanswer
    sthecal
    l
    ,Iwantt
    owal
    kawaybut
    ,Ineedt
    oknowaboutt
    hist
    hinghe
    keepsinhi
    sheart.

    Mbuso:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    <Li
    stens>

    Mbuso:
    “Can’
    tyout
    akehert
    othehospi
    tal
    ?”

    <Li
    sten>

    Hehuf
    fs.

    Mbuso:
    “Tr
    usty
    out
    ogi
    vesuchar
    epl
    y.
    ”

    Iam gr
    owi
    ngi
    mpat
    ient
    .
    Mbuso:
    “Rel
    ax,
    I’
    m onmyway
    .Youknowi
    tst
    imey
    ouacceptt
    haty
    ouar
    enot
    hingwi
    thoutme.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    esbef
    orehangi
    ngup.

    Me:
    “You’
    rel
    eav
    ing?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Ihav
    eahousecal
    l
    .Canwef
    ini
    sht
    hiswhenIgetback?
    ”

    Me:
    “Go.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Iwon’
    tbel
    ong.
    ”

    Ishr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    sandt
    oddl
    etosi
    tont
    hecouch.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o.”

    Hewant
    stosaysomet
    hing.

    Me:
    “HambaMbuso.
    ”(Go.
    )

    Hesi
    ghsashel
    etshi
    sfeetgui
    dehi
    m out
    .

    AMARA*

    Liy
    anaaisbett
    ernow,she’
    ssit
    ti
    ngonherbedwithherheadrestingonRandal
    l’
    schest
    .Randal
    l
    ref
    usestospeaktohi
    sf at
    her
    ,hedoesn’
    twantt
    ohearany t
    hing.Iplant
    oconvi
    ncehim,hi
    s
    fat
    herseemstoknowsomet hi
    ngaboutLi
    yana'
    ssuddenseizure.WeknowLiyanatobeas
    healt
    hyasahorse.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyourf
    atherknowt
    hatbasi
    ll
    eav
    eswi
    l
    lwor
    k?”

    IaskasIset
    tl
    eont
    hebedopposi
    tehi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Beat
    sme.
    ”

    Heshowsl
    ackofi
    nter
    est
    .

    Me:
    “Don’
    tyout
    hinky
    oushoul
    dspeakt
    ohi
    m.”

    It
    akehi
    shand,
    hekeepshi
    sgazet
    ransf
    ixedonme,
    ashi
    sfi
    nger
    sfondl
    ydanceonmi
    ne.

    Randal
    l
    :“Idoubt
    ,Iwantt
    ohearwhathehast
    osay
    .”

    Me:
    “Whati
    fit
    ’saboutLi
    ya?I
    tcoul
    dbei
    mpor
    tant
    .”

    Heaccept
    saf
    rown,
    I’
    m pr
    obabl
    yannoy
    inghi
    m.

    Me:
    “Bef
    orey
    ousayany
    thi
    ng,
    thi
    nkabouti
    tpl
    ease.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghs.Hedr
    awshi
    shandaway
    ,Icanst
    il
    lfeel
    thet
    rai
    lofhi
    sfi
    nger
    sonmi
    ne.

    Imi
    ghtbepushi
    nghi
    mtodosomet
    hinghedoesn’
    twant
    .
    Thi
    smanneedst
    olear
    nhowt
    ocommuni
    cat
    ethough.

    I
    fepl
    odsi
    nther
    oom,
    hol
    dingupaphone.Thegi
    rll
    ookssapped.

    I
    fe:“Br
    other
    ,SegunOkol
    iei
    sgoi
    ngtomakemyheadexpl
    ode.IswearI
    ’
    mthi
    scl
    oset
    otur
    ning
    offmyphone,he’
    sint
    err
    upt
    ingmyl
    i
    v est
    ream.
    ”

    Shecomplai
    ns,hol
    dingoutt
    hephonet
    oRandal
    l
    .He’
    snott
    aki
    ngi
    t,i
    nst
    eadcont
    inuest
    ocar
    ess
    Li
    ya’
    sback.She’sf
    all
    ingasl
    eep.

    I
    fe:“
    Thisi
    sadisast
    er,
    theset
    womenwantt
    oseemedead.Br
    otherIcannotbest
    ressi
    ngl
    i
    ke
    t
    his,
    I’
    ll
    agefast
    .”

    Ismi
    l
    eatheri
    nnocence,
    Randal
    lst
    il
    lhol
    dsapucker
    edbr
    ow.

    Randal
    l
    :“Dr
    opt
    hecal
    lIf
    eany
    i.
    ”

    Hedemandsst
    ernl
    y.

    Shecar
    ri
    esani
    rkedl
    ook,
    bef
    orer
    oll
    i
    ngherey
    esathi
    m,he’
    snotmov
    edatal
    l
    .

    Idon’
    tknowi
    fIshoul
    dint
    erv
    ene.Seei
    nghowherbr
    otheri
    sunwav
    eri
    ng,
    Ifepl
    acest
    hephoneon
    herear
    .

    I
    fe:“
    Yourhi
    ghness,
    theprinceref
    usest
    ospeaktoyou.Pl
    easeIbeg,
    leav
    emyphoneal
    one.I
    hav
    ealif
    eagyaandy ou’
    redist
    urbi
    ngme.”(
    Fat
    her.
    )

    Sheexpr
    esseswi
    thanoteofsarcasm,dropst
    hecal
    l
    ,ogl
    esatRandal
    landr
    oll
    sherey
    esbef
    ore,
    wal
    kingout
    .Hedoesn’
    tseem t
    ocar eatall
    .

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,mayIpl
    easehav
    eawor
    dwi
    thy
    ourst
    ubbor
    nness?
    ”

    Ij
    est
    .

    Wi
    thonebr
    owcur
    ved,
    hest
    udi
    esmyf
    eat
    ures.Ishyawayf
    rom hi
    sint
    ensegaze.

    Randal
    l
    :“Il
    i
    kei
    twheny
    ousaymyname.
    ”

    Hispromi
    nentsmi
    rktakesoverhi
    smout
    h,Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    ohol
    daser
    iousconv
    ersat
    ionandhe
    choosest
    otakeadif
    ferentr
    oute.

    “
    Guy
    s.”

    Mbusosaunt
    ersi
    n,Igetupf
    rom t
    hebedt
    ogi
    vehi
    m space.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yousur
    elyt
    ooky
    ourt
    ime.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “ItshowsIdi
    dn’
    tfl
    yher
    e,I
    ’
    m human.
    ”

    Hi
    scomebackhasRandal
    lsni
    gger
    ing.

    Mbuso:
    “Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Me:
    “She’
    shasn’
    tsai
    dany
    thi
    ngy
    et.
    ”
    Randal
    l
    :“Sheseemst
    obeokayt
    hough,
    shedoesn’
    thav
    eat
    emper
    atur
    e.”

    Randal
    lgent
    lyl
    aysLi
    yana'
    sheadonthepil
    l
    owandgi
    vesspacef
    orMbusot
    odohi
    sjob.
    Watchi
    nghim wor
    kremindsmeofLelo,
    shelov
    esmedi
    cine.

    Me:“
    MycousinLel
    owant
    edt
    obeadoct
    or,
    Iremembergr
    owi
    ngup,
    howshewoul
    dpl
    aydoct
    or
    wi
    thherdol
    l
    s.”

    Iexcl
    aim,
    asIf
    ail
    tohol
    dbackmyt
    hought
    s.

    Mbuso:
    “Wai
    t!Di
    dyousayLel
    o?”

    Hel
    eer
    satmewi
    thhi
    sey
    espoppedout
    .

    Me:
    “Yes,
    youknowher
    ?”

    Hegl
    aresatRandal
    l
    ,theyexchangel
    ooks.

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouknowNombul
    elo?
    ”

    Ipryasmyimpati
    encegrows,maybethi
    scoul
    dbemychanceofseei
    ngherwit
    houtgoingtomy
    house.May
    beMbusocanbr inghertome,Mkhi
    zemusthav
    enoknowledgeofNombulelohence,
    hehasnoreasontohaveherfol
    lowed.

    Mbuso:
    “No…MyLel
    ois…Nompumel
    elo.
    ”

    Hest
    ammer
    sandpopsmybubbl
    ewi
    thhi
    sresponse.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howi
    sshe,
    Mbuso?
    ”

    Hei
    nqui
    res,
    aboutLi
    yana.

    Mbuso:
    “Ihonest
    lydon’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngwr
    ongwi
    thher
    ,may
    bey
    oushoul
    dtakehert
    othehospi
    tal
    j
    ustt
    obesure.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Ar
    eyoudoubt
    ingy
    ourski
    l
    lst
    her
    e,doc?Nev
    ert
    houghtIwoul
    dseet
    heday
    .”

    Heder
    ides,
    hav
    ingMbusochuckl
    einr
    eact
    ion.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    mthebesty
    ougotbut
    ,asecondopi
    nionwoul
    dbegood.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Ahh!Ther
    eiti
    s,y
    oucan’
    treal
    l
    yletgooft
    hatego.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “WhatcanIsay
    ,Iam abl
    essi
    ng.
    ”

    Heretor
    tsashewrapsup,
    leav
    ingRandal
    lspeechl
    ess.Thet
    wohav
    eawei
    rdf
    ri
    endshi
    p,i
    fI
    coul
    dcalli
    tthat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Lethersl
    eepf
    ornow,
    ther
    e’snot
    hingwr
    ongwi
    thher
    .”

    Me:
    “Howdoweexpl
    aint
    hef
    it
    s?”

    Mbuso:
    “Hence,
    Isai
    dgetasecondopi
    nion.Hav
    eyout
    houghtt
    hat
    ,may
    bet
    hiscoul
    dbe
    spi
    ri
    tual
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Spi
    ri
    tual
    how?
    ”

    Hehasal
    readydeci
    dedt
    hathedoesn’
    tli
    ket
    hisconv
    ersat
    ion.

    Mbuso:
    “Youknow,
    ancest
    orsandst
    uff
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Whendi
    dyouupgr
    adet
    obei
    ngat
    radi
    ti
    onal
    i
    st?
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Thet
    hingsI
    ’
    vehear
    dandseen,
    thepastf
    ewday
    stappedmebackt
    omyr
    oot
    s.”

    Hei
    l
    lumi
    nat
    es,
    Randal
    li
    snotokaywi
    tht
    his.

    Randal
    l
    :“That
    ’sgoodf
    ory
    ou,
    notf
    orme.I
    ’
    m keepi
    ngmydaught
    erawayf
    rom t
    hoset
    hings.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Iunder
    standbut
    ,youknowsomet
    imeschi
    l
    drenpayf
    ort
    hei
    rpar
    ent
    ’smi
    stakes.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatar
    eyoui
    mpl
    yi
    ngMbuso?
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Hedi
    dsayt
    hat
    ,he’
    snotf
    ondoft
    radi
    ti
    onandcust
    oms.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    mjustshadi
    ngl
    i
    ght
    ,thi
    nkabouti
    t.I
    ’
    llt
    akemyl
    eav
    e.”

    Chi
    omawal
    ksi
    nasRandal
    ll
    eadsMbusoout
    .

    Chi
    oma:
    “Issheokay
    ?”

    Me:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    ’sst
    rangehowt
    hissuddenl
    yjusthappened,
    ther
    e’ssomet
    hinggoi
    ngonher
    e.”

    Shev
    oices.

    Me:
    “Mbusoment
    ionedt
    hati
    tcoul
    dbespi
    ri
    tual
    .”

    Chi
    oma:
    “It
    ’spossi
    ble.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,what
    everi
    tis.Randal
    lwi
    l
    lfi
    xit
    ,hehast
    o.”

    Shesmi
    l
    esatme.

    Chi
    oma:
    “Youhav
    egr
    ownf
    ondofhi
    m?”

    Okay
    .

    Me:
    “He’
    sbecomev
    eryi
    mpor
    tantt
    ome.
    ”

    Chi
    oma:
    “I’
    m gl
    ad,
    youbot
    hdeser
    vet
    obehappy
    .”

    Me:
    “Iguess.
    ”

    “
    Amar
    a.”

    Il
    eerov
    erashi
    svoi
    cecal
    l
    soutt
    ome,
    he’
    sst
    andi
    ngatt
    hedoorway
    .
    Randal
    l
    :“Comewi
    thme.
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    lst
    aywi
    thLi
    yana?
    ”

    Shenods,
    smi
    l
    ing.If
    oll
    owRandal
    ltoourbedr
    oom.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ihav
    esomet
    hingf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Hest
    ateswhenwegett
    her
    e.

    Ismi
    l
    eathi
    sannouncement
    ,asher
    amshi
    shandi
    nhi
    spocket
    .

    Me:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Hecomesoutwi
    tht
    hispi
    eceofchompchocol
    ateandhandsi
    ttome.

    Me:
    “Chomp?
    ”

    Thi
    siswhyhepul
    l
    edmeoutofLi
    yana’
    sroom.Wow.
    ..

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    tdoesn’
    thav
    etobebi
    gri
    ght
    ?”

    Il
    aughathi
    ssweetgest
    ure.

    Me:
    “Iknowt
    hisi
    sn’
    tyouri
    dea,
    whodoIgi
    vecr
    edi
    tto?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs,
    fort
    hef
    ir
    stt
    ime,
    hel
    aughs.

    Randal
    l
    :“Li
    ya,
    shesai
    daf
    lowershoul
    dcomewi
    thchocol
    ate.
    ”

    Me:
    “She’
    ssweet
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Yourl
    i
    psar
    esweet
    .”

    Heut
    ter
    sashe’sdr
    awnbacki
    ntot
    hatwor
    ldofl
    ust
    ,thi
    smanandhi
    swol
    fi
    shnat
    ure.HowdoI
    ev
    enquenchi
    t?

    Hegr
    acef
    ull
    ycat
    chesmebyt
    hewai
    st,
    pul
    l
    ingmet
    ohi
    m andIcol
    l
    idewi
    thhi
    schest
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“CanIt
    ast
    ethem?
    ”

    Moment
    ari
    l
    y,hedr
    opshi
    sgazet
    omymout
    handt
    akeshi
    sti
    met
    oleanov
    ermyf
    ace.

    I
    ’
    m deni
    edachancet
    oref
    usehi
    m whenheki
    ssesme.

    SETHU*

    Ir
    usht
    othesi
    tt
    ingar
    eaatt
    hesoundofmyphoner
    ingi
    ng,
    it’
    smymot
    her
    .

    Me:
    “Mom.
    ”

    Igr
    eet
    .
    Mom:
    “Whati
    sthi
    s,IhearSet
    hu?
    ”

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Mom:
    “You’
    regal
    l
    ivant
    ingwi
    thsomedr
    ugdeal
    er.Howcany
    oubesocar
    eless?
    ”

    Thi
    sscr
    eamsLebo,
    shel
    i
    esl
    i
    ket
    his.

    Me:
    “Letmeguess,
    Lebot
    oldy
    out
    hisr
    ight
    ?”

    Mom:
    “Doesi
    tmat
    ter
    ?You’
    renotev
    engoi
    ngt
    odenyi
    tSet
    hu?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngwr
    ongmom,
    Leboi
    sly
    ing.Rememberhowshel
    i
    edaboutNt
    okoz
    o.”

    Mom:
    “Whywoul
    dshel
    i
    etome?
    ”

    Sheal
    way
    stakeshersi
    de.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow.Whydoy
    ouchooset
    obel
    i
    eveherov
    erme?
    ”

    Mom:
    “Don’
    tst
    artSet
    hu,
    youknowInev
    ert
    akesi
    des.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’snothowi
    tseemst
    ome,
    youbel
    i
    eveev
    erywor
    dthatcomesoutofhermout
    h.”

    Mom:
    “Youal
    sodi
    dn’
    tdenyt
    heaccusat
    ion.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ihav
    etogetr
    eadyf
    orwor
    k.”

    Mom:
    “Yourf
    athersay
    syoushoul
    dcomehomenextweek,
    hewant
    stospeakt
    oyou.
    ”

    Idon’
    twantt
    oknowwhathewant
    s.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    tmakei
    t,Ihav
    ewor
    k.”

    Mom:
    “You’
    l
    ltakeadayof
    f.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notshockedbyhersuggest
    ion.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    ttakeadayof
    fmom,
    I’
    vet
    akent
    oomuchoft
    hose.
    ”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    Mom:
    “Onemor
    ewi
    l
    lnothur
    t.
    ”

    Shewi
    l
    lnev
    erunder
    stand.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lseewhatIcando,
    bye.
    ”

    Ihangupbefor
    eshespeaksfur
    ther
    ,Lebowentandranhermouth.Shetwist
    edt
    hewhol
    ethi
    ng,
    Ihavenoti
    cedhowshedespi
    sesStyl
    es.Iwi
    l
    lnotheedheradv
    ice,Styl
    eshascomet
    obe
    i
    mpor t
    anttomeint
    hissmall
    spaceoftime.

    Ithi
    nkheneedsafri
    endasmuchasIdo.Hemi ghtnotsayi
    tbut
    , Ihavenoti
    cedhowhur thei
    s.
    Hedoesn’thav
    ethatpoi
    sehehadwhenIfi
    rstsawhim,heappearstobebr okenandIam wil
    l
    ing
    tohelphi
    mt hr
    oughwhatev
    erhe’
    sgoi
    ngthr
    ough.Iftabl
    eswereturned,Iam undeni
    abl
    y
    conf
    identt
    hat
    ,hewi
    l
    ldot
    hesame.

    NOMBULELO*

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    youf
    orgoty
    ourkeyag…”

    Ther
    e’sat
    all
    blackmanonmydoorst
    ep,It
    houghti
    twasMbuso.He’
    sbeengonef
    ort
    ool
    ong,
    maybemyimpatiencei
    sdr
    aggi
    ngt
    heti
    me.

    “
    SawubonaNkosazana.
    ”(Gr
    eet
    ingsl
    ady
    .)

    Hegr
    eet
    swi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Me:
    “Hel
    l
    o.”

    “
    IsMbusoar
    ound?
    ”

    Me:
    “He’
    snot
    ,sor
    ry.
    ”

    Hest
    aresf
    orawhi
    l
    e,t
    hisi
    suncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    “
    Isi
    tokayi
    fIwai
    tforhi
    m?Ican’
    tgetahol
    dofhi
    m.”

    Hi
    squest
    ionhasmescowl
    i
    ng.

    Me:
    “Youcan,
    out
    side.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    “
    Okay
    ,you’
    rebei
    ngcaut
    iousandt
    hat
    ’swi
    se.Thewor
    ldi
    sasi
    ckpl
    ace.
    ”

    Whyi
    shest
    il
    ltal
    ki
    ngt
    ome?Idon’
    trespond,
    I’
    mtr
    yingt
    obepol
    i
    tebutmyr
    udenessi
    sknocki
    ng.

    “
    Ngi
    yabonga,
    I’
    ll
    tryhi
    snumberagai
    n.”(
    Thanky
    ou.
    )

    Heut
    ter
    s,hol
    dingont
    othatsmi
    l
    e.

    Me:
    “Dot
    hat
    .”

    Ipushthedoorcl
    ose,somethi
    ngi
    sjammingit
    .Isendmyey
    estoi
    nspect
    ,thi
    sstrangeri
    s
    bl
    ockingitwi
    thhi
    sfoot.Il
    ookupathi
    m andhehasthi
    ssmir
    konhi
    sface,hethi
    nksthisi
    s
    amusing.

    Me:
    “CanIhel
    pyoubhut
    i?”

    Hegr
    ins.

    “
    Bhut
    i?”(
    Brot
    her
    ?)

    Inar
    rowmyey
    esathi
    m.

    “
    Iwasn’
    ttol
    dIhav
    easi
    steroutt
    her
    e,asf
    arasIknow,
    myf
    atherhassons.Thi
    sdef
    ini
    tel
    ycal
    l
    s
    f
    oraf
    ami
    l
    ymeet
    ing.
    ”

    Thestupi
    dsmileonhisf
    acesay
    s,he’
    str
    yingt
    ocrackajoke.Idon’
    tknowthismanandIdon’
    t
    knowwhyhet hi
    nkshecanconv
    ersat
    ewithme.Thi
    sisSouthAfri
    ca,I
    ’m al
    readyatr
    iskby
    standi
    ngher
    ewi t
    hhim.

    Me:
    “Bhut
    i,Mbusoi
    snotar
    oundatt
    hemoment
    .Pl
    ease,
    I’
    ll
    lethi
    m knowy
    ouwer
    eher
    e.”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    “I
    ’
    m sorr
    y,Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    omakey
    ouuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.I
    t’
    sjustnotev
    erydayt
    hat
    ,Icomeacr
    ossa
    pret
    tyl
    ady.
    ”

    Heexpr
    esseswi
    thal
    owt
    one.

    I
    she?No…He’
    snotf
    li
    rt
    ingwi
    thme,
    right
    ?

    Iam of
    fi
    cial
    l
    yuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “Goodby
    e,bhut
    i.
    ”(Br
    other
    .)

    Hegr
    inswi
    del
    y.

    Ishutt
    hedooronhi
    sface,
    Iam notonet
    oent
    ert
    ainst
    rangemen.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    81*

    AMARA*

    I
    fe:
    “Whatdi
    dyousayhegav
    eyou?
    ”

    Thewor
    dsswi
    rl
    swi
    thamusementwhi
    l
    eshegi
    vesmeani
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    ook.

    Randal
    li
    ssomethingelse,
    heisdefini
    tel
    ydif
    fer
    entandt
    hat’
    swhatmakeshi m special
    .Ihav
    e
    cometoli
    keever
    ythingabouthi
    m, i
    ncludi
    ngthatper
    manentpuckerbet
    weenhisey ebrows.
    Therei
    sabitofi
    nnocenceinhim anditcomesoutwhenhe’scourt
    ingme,he’
    slikealit
    tl
    ekid
    whohasnocluehowt owooagi r
    l.

    I
    fef
    oundmesmi l
    i
    ngt
    omysel
    fint
    hel
    i
    v i
    ngroom andhercuri
    osi
    tytookov er.She’
    sseatedon
    t
    hecouchacr
    ossme,
    ogl
    i
    ngatmeasifI
    ’m aboutt
    onarrat
    ethegreateststoryevert
    old.

    I
    fe:
    “He’
    shopel
    ess,
    Igi
    veup.
    ”

    Shet
    hrowsherhandsupi
    ndef
    eat
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’sy
    ourf
    aul
    t.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Whatdi
    dIdo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Youputt
    hesei
    deasi
    nhi
    shead,
    nowhe’
    str
    yingt
    oohar
    d.”

    Ial
    mostf
    eel
    forhi
    m,myhear
    tisal
    readyhi
    sandIdon’
    tmi
    ndi
    fhepur
    suesmeornot
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Tr
    ustme,
    youwi
    l
    lthankme,
    thel
    astt
    hingy
    ouwanti
    stobemar
    ri
    edt
    oamanwhoi
    snot
    r
    omanti
    c.”

    Me:
    “Randal
    li
    sromant
    ic.
    ”

    Idef
    endhi
    m,shemakesaf
    ace.

    I
    fe:
    “Yeahr
    ight
    ,tel
    lmeoner
    omant
    ict
    hinghe’
    sdone.
    ”

    Icant
    hinkofmany
    .

    I
    fe:“
    Anddon’tt
    ellmeaboutthosest
    olenki
    sses,
    themoment
    swher
    ehecor
    ner
    sandt
    hesweet
    not
    hingshewhisper
    sinyourear.
    ”

    That
    'sact
    ual
    l
    yther
    out
    eIwast
    aki
    ng.

    Shewav
    esherhandatt
    his.I
    ssheev
    enal
    l
    owedt
    oobser
    veherbr
    otherl
    i
    ket
    his?

    I
    fe:
    “Thati
    snotr
    omance,
    it’
    shi
    m bei
    nghotbl
    ooded.
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tgi
    vemeachancet
    odef
    endRandal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,that
    ’senough.
    ”
    Shel
    aughs.

    I
    fe:
    “It
    ’st
    ruet
    hough.
    ”

    Shepr
    otesti
    namusement
    .

    Me:
    “Youdoknowt
    hisi
    syourbr
    otherwe’
    ret
    alki
    ngaboutr
    ight
    ?”

    I
    fe:
    “And,
    we’
    rebot
    hgi
    rl
    sso,
    thi
    sconv
    ersat
    ioni
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”

    She’
    ssmar
    t.

    I
    fe:
    “CanIseei
    t?”

    Shecan’tst
    opl
    aughing,
    Ipul
    loutt
    hechocol
    atef
    rom mypocketandshegr
    absi
    twi
    thasmi
    l
    e
    pl
    aster
    edonherface.

    I
    fe:
    “Keepi
    t,t
    hiswi
    l
    lbeani
    cest
    oryt
    otel
    lyourki
    dsoneday
    .”

    Myheartjumpsinexci
    tementatt
    hethoughtofhavingRandal
    l
    ’ski
    ds,
    Ihav
    en’
    tthoughtt
    hatf
    ar
    yetandIdon’
    tknowifhedreamsofbeingafatheroneday.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hatev
    enpossi
    ble,
    itwi
    l
    lhav
    emoul
    dsbyt
    hen.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Itdoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    ,peopl
    ekeepdeadr
    osesf
    ory
    ear
    s.”

    Sheexpr
    esses.

    Shebursti
    ntolaught
    erwhensheseesRandal
    lwal
    kint
    othel
    ounge,
    theconf
    usedl
    ookonhi
    s
    facei
    shumor ous.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatar
    ewel
    aughi
    ngat
    ?”

    Hei
    nqui
    resashesi
    tsbesi
    deme.

    I
    fe:
    “Chomp,
    brot
    her
    ?”

    Sheaddsmoreli
    fetoherlaugh.Randal
    lgl
    ancesatme,
    hisf
    acecar
    ryi
    ngal
    eni
    entf
    rown.He
    doesn’
    tfi
    ndt
    hisfunnyatall
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Youl
    aughatany
    thi
    ngso,
    I’
    m notsur
    pri
    sedt
    haty
    ouwoul
    dfi
    ndt
    hisf
    unny
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “But
    ,iti
    sfunnybr
    other
    ,Ineedt
    otweett
    his.
    ”

    Herphonei
    sal
    way
    sonherhand.

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    yout
    alkaboutmewhenI
    ’
    m notar
    ound?Il
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Hequest
    ionswhi
    l
    egi
    vi
    ngmeaseduct
    ivesmi
    l
    e,Ishi
    ftbackashel
    eanscl
    oser
    .

    Me:
    “No,
    Idon’
    t.
    ”

    Ipr
    otest,hedoesn’
    tbel
    iev
    emeashechortl
    es.Hishandgoesaroundmywaistandhepul
    l
    sme
    cl
    oser.Hegentlybi
    tesmyearl
    obe,
    hiswar
    m breat
    honmyski nhasmeshiv
    eringand
    embarrassmentwashesoverme.
    Randal
    lhasnot
    imi
    ng.It
    il
    tmyheadtogl
    anceatI
    fe,
    she’
    sengr
    ossedonherphone,
    thankf
    ull
    y.
    Thi
    sgivesmeachancet
    orepr
    imandhi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwantt
    oki
    ssy
    our
    ightnow,
    Ican'
    tbr
    eat
    he.
    ”

    Hewhi
    sper
    ssof
    tl
    yinmyear
    ,andt
    heshuddert
    arget
    smeagai
    n.Thi
    smancan’
    tcont
    rol
    himsel
    f.

    Iusemyhandst
    obuil
    dabr i
    dgebet
    weenus,
    it’
    suncomfor
    tabl
    eenought
    hatI
    fei
    sher
    e.He’
    snot
    backi
    ngdownashecont
    inuestopr
    esshi
    sbodyonmine.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Myv oi
    cehasgiv
    eni nt
    ohim.He’snotstoppingbut
    ,cont
    inuest
    oshowermewi t
    hkisses.My
    hear
    tthumpsagainstmychest
    ,ashenuzzl eshi
    sheadonmyneckandpl acesali
    ngeringkiss
    onthespacebetweenmyneckandcollarbone.Heknowswheremyweaknessis.Hemi l
    dly
    bl
    owsont hesamespotandhisbreat
    hhi t
    ti
    ngagainstmychestdecl
    aresmepowerless.

    Icl
    utchmyhandonhi
    slapasIheav
    eforbr
    eat
    he.

    Me:
    “If
    e…i
    sher
    e.”

    Myst
    upi
    dvoi
    cegi
    vesmeawayasi
    ttel
    l
    shi
    mthatIam t
    urnedonbyt
    hisact
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Ser
    iousl
    y,i
    fIhav
    etoseey
    out
    woki
    ssi
    ngagai
    n,Iwi
    l
    lhangmy
    sel
    f.Ihav
    eseenenoughf
    or
    t
    heday.
    ”

    Ipul
    lawayf
    rom hi
    sti
    ghtgr
    ipi
    naj
    i
    ff,
    Idr
    opmygazeasIf
    eel
    mycheeksbur
    nup.Ineedapl
    ace
    tohi
    de.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    siswhathappenswheny
    oumov
    eint
    osomeone’
    shomewi
    thoutt
    hei
    rper
    missi
    on.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    nothi
    dinghi
    spi
    quedt
    one.I
    fegi
    ggl
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Ihav
    etogi
    vei
    ttoy
    oubr
    other
    ,youar
    ethecl
    i
    ngi
    estmanIknow.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youknowcl
    i
    ngymenI
    feany
    i?”

    Thi
    sisf
    unny
    ,shet
    akesdeepbr
    eat
    hsi
    nsear
    choft
    ranqui
    l
    li
    ty.

    If
    e:“
    Wow, onecan’
    tsayanythi
    nginthi
    shousewi
    thoutherwor
    dsbei
    ngt
    wist
    ed.Br
    other
    ,youdo
    knowthatIwi
    llst
    artdat
    ingsoon,
    right
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Noti
    fIhav
    eany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Iknewi
    t,Iknewi
    t.Youwantt
    oki
    l
    lmeabi
    ?”(
    Right
    ?)

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    ldi
    eify
    oudon’
    tdat
    e?”

    I
    fe:
    “Ofembarr
    assment
    ,yes.Iam t
    hiscloset
    obeinganI
    nst
    agr
    am i
    nfl
    uencer
    .Thati
    sonet
    ough
    j
    obtohave,
    Ineedamant ocompletetheimage.
    ”

    Sheexpl
    ains,
    mucht
    oRandal
    l
    ’sannoy
    ance.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wi
    l
    lyoushutup?Whenar
    eyougoi
    ngbackt
    oGhanaany
    way
    ?”
    I
    fe:
    “Notany
    timesoon.
    ”

    Speaki
    ngofGhana.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Het
    urnshi
    sgazet
    ome.

    Me:
    “I’
    vebeent
    hinki
    ng,
    may
    beIshoul
    dhav
    eat
    alkwi
    thhi
    m.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Who?
    ”

    I
    feany
    igi
    vesmeal
    ookIcannotmakeoutbut
    ,It
    hinksheknowswhoI
    ’
    mtal
    ki
    ngabout
    .

    Me:
    “Yourf
    ather
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“No.
    ”

    Me:
    “May
    be,
    Icangett
    hrought
    ohi
    m.”

    I
    fe:“
    For
    geti
    t,noonecangetthr
    ought ot
    hatol
    dman.Hiswifest
    andsdef
    eat
    edt
    il
    ltoday
    ,one
    per
    sonyoucangett
    hroughtoisthatwomantheycal
    lRut
    h.”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    feany
    i.
    ”

    Hechi
    desher
    .

    I
    fe:
    “It
    ’sj
    ustasuggest
    ionbr
    otherandshe’
    sint
    hecount
    ryso…”

    Me:
    “She’
    sher
    e?”

    Randal
    lheav
    esadeepsi
    ghofi
    nfur
    iat
    ion.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yesandy
    ouar
    est
    ayi
    ngawayf
    rom her
    .”

    Hecommandsf
    ir
    mly
    ,Ihav
    enot
    icedhowt
    hisi
    ssuebr
    ingsouthi
    sbeast
    lysi
    de.

    Me:
    “It
    hinki
    t’
    sagoodi
    dea.
    ”

    Het
    hinksi
    t’
    sst
    upi
    d.

    Randall
    :“Well
    it’
    snot
    ,youdon’
    tknowherAmar a.Whatifshewastaughtt
    obet
    err
    it
    ori
    al?Ihav
    e
    afeel
    ing,shegrewupinthecl
    utchesofSegun.Thi
    scouldberi
    sky
    .”

    Me:
    “Youcoul
    dcomewi
    th.
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowwhyI
    ’
    minsi
    sti
    ngsomuch,
    whatIknowi
    sthat
    ,I’
    m af
    rai
    dImi
    ghtl
    osehi
    m oneday
    .

    I
    fe:“
    Iagreewit
    hbrother,
    thi
    scouldputy ourli
    featr
    isk.Agy
    aandRuth’spar
    entswoul
    dhave
    di
    nnerpart
    iesatt
    hehouse, t
    heyareclose.Youwouldswearshe’
    shisdaughter
    ,mom hasnev
    er
    beenfondofher,
    though.Possi
    bil
    i
    tiesare,she’
    sarobotwhoagreestoever
    ythi
    nghesays.
    ”

    Me:
    “Howdowef
    ixi
    tthen?
    ”

    Hescr
    uti
    nisesme,
    sear
    chi
    ngf
    orananswerast
    owhyI
    ’
    m pushi
    ngt
    his.
    Randal
    l
    :“Whoar
    eyouandwhathav
    eyoudonet
    omyf
    ragi
    l
    eAmar
    a?”

    Idon’
    tknowwhathemeansbyt
    his.

    Me:
    “I’
    m ser
    iousRandal
    l
    .”

    I
    fe:“
    She’
    swor
    ri
    edBr
    other
    ,Iwoul
    dbet
    oo.Rut
    hisl
    uckyshehast
    ofacey
    ou.Iwoul
    dknockal
    l
    hert
    eet
    hout
    .”

    Shepul
    l
    saf
    aceatt
    hisdecl
    arat
    ion.

    Me:“
    Ihav
    eafeeli
    ngRuthwasconv
    incedt
    haty
    ouar
    eint
    hisaswel
    l
    .Shepr
    obabl
    ythi
    nksy
    ou
    r
    egar
    dherasyourwi
    fe.
    ”

    Hehat
    eswhatIj
    ustsai
    d,t
    hef
    urr
    owedbr
    owt
    est
    if
    iesofi
    t.

    I
    fehuf
    fs.

    If
    e:“
    Havey oumetRuth?YouseeBar bi
    eandRut h?Putt
    hem inthesameroom andtheywi
    ll
    matchperf
    ectl
    y.Thatgi
    rlwastaughttowalk,
    talkandfl
    oatl
    ikeapri
    ncess.Shecan’
    tseewhere
    she’
    sgoingbecausehernosegoesbef or
    eher,she’
    sconcei
    ted.
    ”

    Shespeaksofherwi
    thsomuchr
    esent
    ment
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Ineedy
    out
    ost
    opwor
    ryi
    ngAmar
    a,It
    oldy
    ou,
    Iwi
    l
    lfi
    xthi
    s.”

    Il
    ookdowni
    ndef
    eat
    ,her
    aisesmyheadt
    ogi
    vemeanassur
    inggl
    ance.It
    endt
    owor
    ryt
    oomuch.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    vegott
    his,
    youhav
    etot
    rustme.
    ”

    Hi
    spi
    erci
    nggazeassur
    esme.

    I
    fe:“
    Don’
    twor
    ry,
    Segunwil
    lonedaygrowti
    redoff
    ight
    ing.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveRav
    eni
    sst
    il
    ltr
    ail
    i
    ng
    behi
    ndhi
    m,gr
    ovell
    i
    ng.Hei
    sshameless.
    ”

    Shegr
    acesuswi
    thherey
    erol
    l
    ingmoment
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Rav
    eni
    syourbr
    otherandwedon’
    tbasheachot
    her
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    mjustsay
    ingbr
    other
    ,itmakesmesoangr
    y.”

    Shegr
    umbl
    es.

    Randal
    l:
    “ Youwil
    ltal
    ktohim,
    ifyouf
    eel
    thathehasdoney
    ouwr
    ong.Myquar
    rel
    swi
    thRav
    en
    havenothingt
    odowi thy
    ouIfe.
    ”

    Hechi
    desherf
    ir
    mly
    .Ihav
    enot
    icedsomet
    hingabouther
    ,shehat
    esdi
    sci
    pli
    ne.

    I
    fe:
    “What
    ever
    .”

    “
    HowcomeIdi
    dn’
    tgetani
    nvi
    tet
    othef
    ami
    l
    ymeet
    ing?
    ”

    Styl
    es’voi
    cecat
    chesourat
    tenti
    on,he’
    swi
    thamanaboutt
    hesameageashi
    m.Hecar
    ri
    esa
    fr
    iendl
    yfaceandapermanentsmil
    e.
    Randal
    l
    :“Idi
    dn’
    tknowy
    ouwer
    ecomi
    ngov
    er.
    ”

    “
    Sty
    losmi
    ssesy
    ouoga,
    Iwasl
    i
    ter
    all
    ydr
    aggedoutoft
    hehouse.
    ”

    Hi
    sgi
    vesanexpl
    anat
    ioni
    nasar
    cast
    ict
    one.

    St
    yles:
    “Neoi
    sexagger
    ati
    ng.
    ”

    St
    ylesdeni
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Whoi
    sthi
    s?”

    I
    fejumpsinassheoglesatSt
    yles.Idon’tknowwhenshegott
    ohi
    m but
    ,she’
    sst
    andi
    ngbef
    ore
    hi
    m, shamel
    essl
    ychecki
    nghim out.St
    ylessmilesather
    .

    St
    yles:
    “If
    eany
    iOkol
    i
    e,wef
    inal
    l
    ymeet
    .”

    Herj
    awdr
    ops.

    I
    fe:
    “Youknowmyname?Heknowsmyname.
    ”

    Theexci
    tementi
    nhert
    onei
    sloud,
    Sty
    leschuckl
    es.

    Sty
    les:
    “OfcourseIknowyourname.You’
    ret
    hegi
    rlwhogav
    emeahar
    dti
    meonsoci
    almedi
    a,
    younevergav
    euppost i
    ngyourbr
    other
    .”

    Shegasps.

    I
    fe:
    “Thatwasy
    ou?You’
    ret
    heonewhobl
    ockedmypages?
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“Icoul
    dn’
    tri
    sky
    ourf
    atherf
    indi
    ngme.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Mmhh,
    amanwi
    thbr
    ains,
    Ili
    ke.
    ”

    ShereachesoutherhandtoSty
    lesassheshoot
    shim seduct
    ivesmil
    e.Am It
    heonl
    yonewho
    canseethatthi
    schil
    disfl
    i
    rti
    ngwitht
    hisman?Styl
    esshakesherhand.

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sf
    inal
    l
    yni
    cet
    omeety
    ou.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    ylesisl
    i
    keabr
    othert
    ome,
    meani
    ngt
    hathe’
    syourbr
    othert
    ooandy
    ouwi
    l
    laddr
    ess
    hi
    m asbrot
    her.”

    Yeah!Hesawt
    hatt
    oo.

    I
    fe:“What?Noway,I
    ’m notdoi
    ngthat.Ther
    e’sar
    easonGoddi
    dnotmakeussi
    bli
    ngs.Pl
    ease
    brot
    her,
    let’
    snotmesswithGod’swil
    l
    .”

    Herr
    ipost
    ehasmel
    aughi
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whati
    syourpr
    obl
    em?Iwi
    l
    lpl
    uckt
    hoseey
    esouti
    fyoukeepgl
    ari
    ngathi
    mli
    ket
    hat
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    otherpl
    ease,
    letmeappr
    eci
    ateGod’
    scr
    eat
    ion.
    ”
    Sheper
    sist
    ,If
    eist
    heepi
    tomeoft
    eenager
    .Herhor
    monesar
    eonanot
    herl
    evel
    .

    St
    ylesshoul
    dbeuncomfor
    tabl
    ebut
    ,he’
    snot.He’
    sact
    ual
    l
    ybl
    ushi
    ng,
    Idon’
    tbl
    amehi
    m.Who
    wouldn’
    tbl
    ushwhenbei
    ngcompli
    mented?

    Neo:
    “Lett
    hesi
    sterappr
    eci
    ate,
    brot
    herahah.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m guessi
    nghel
    i
    kescl
    owni
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thi
    sisNeo.
    ”

    Neo:
    “I’
    mthehandsomeone.
    ”

    Hest
    ret
    chesouthi
    shandt
    ome,
    Ithi
    nkhewi
    l
    lshakei
    tbut
    ,ki
    ssesi
    tinst
    ead.

    Neo:
    “Wef
    inal
    l
    ymeet
    ,thewomanwhohasmel
    tedt
    hehear
    tofUzeOkol
    i
    e.”

    Ismi
    l
    eathi
    ssal
    utat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Ni
    cet
    omeety
    ouNeo.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Neo,
    letgooft
    hathand.
    ”

    Neo:
    “I’
    m wai
    ti
    ngf
    ormehemmat
    otel
    lme.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    St
    yles:
    “WrongmoveNeo,
    Imi
    ghthav
    etol
    erat
    edi
    twi
    thKhet
    hubut
    ,Uzei
    sadi
    ff
    erentst
    ory
    .Hi
    s
    j
    eal
    ousyrunsdeep.
    ”

    St
    ylesst
    ateswhi
    l
    elaughi
    ng.

    Neo:
    “Ai
    mehemma,
    didy
    ouheart
    hat
    ?Ifany
    thi
    nghappenst
    ome,
    Uzedi
    dit
    .”(
    Myqueen.
    )

    He’
    sfunny
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    yles,
    yousur
    eknowhowt
    ospoi
    lsomeone’
    sday
    .Whydi
    dyoubr
    inghi
    m?”

    St
    ylesl
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Howar
    eyou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Fi
    ne,
    thel
    astt
    imeIsawy
    ou,
    youwer
    epl
    ayi
    ngher
    o.”

    Hechor
    tl
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    tremi
    ndme.
    ”

    KHETHU*

    Iwassoclosetogett
    ingbackwithSt
    yles,Isawhowi
    thur
    thimtoseemei ntear
    s.Ifi
    tweren’
    t
    forNeo,
    Iwouldbewithhim now.Whydoeshekeepthefr
    iendshehas?Theydon’
    tsupporthi
    m
    andthedeci
    sionshemakes.Timeandt i
    mehehaschosenthem ov
    erme,Ihavealwayscome
    secondi
    nhi
    sli
    fe.Ir
    efuset
    oletgoofhi
    m,St
    ylesi
    smi
    neandnoonewi
    l
    lkeepusapar
    t.

    Ifi
    ndmy selfbackatMbongeni
    ’spl
    ace,t
    hisi
    sbet
    tert
    hanbei
    ngsur
    roundedbymypar
    ent
    ’s
    negat
    ivi
    ty.Idon’tneedt
    hatki
    ndofstr
    ess.

    “
    Hey
    .”

    Igr
    eetwhenheopenst
    hedoor
    ,he’
    snotsur
    pri
    sedt
    hatIcameback.

    Mbongeni
    :“Comei
    n.”

    Hepav
    esawayf
    ormeasIst
    ri
    dei
    n.

    Mbongeni
    :“Iwasaboutt
    oeat
    ,woul
    dyoul
    i
    ket
    ojoi
    nme?
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m nothungr
    y.”

    Mbongeni
    :“What
    ’swr
    ongKhet
    hu?
    ”

    Heseest
    hepai
    ninmyey
    es.

    Me:
    “Ithur
    tsMbo,
    I’
    minsomuchpai
    nandIcan’
    ttakei
    tany
    mor
    e.”

    Myt
    ear
    sfai
    lmeasIbur
    sti
    ntoapai
    nful
    sob.

    Hepul
    lsmeint
    oat
    ightembr
    aceandl
    i
    kemyemot
    ionscoul
    dsenset
    hat
    ,I’
    m bei
    ngcomf
    ort
    ed,
    t
    heyengul
    fme.

    Mbongeni
    :“Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngwi
    l
    lbeokay
    ,Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Me:
    “How?Ij
    ustwantt
    hingst
    ogobackt
    othewayt
    heywer
    e.IwantmySt
    ylesback.
    ”

    Ij
    erkoutofhi
    sar
    ms.

    Me:
    “Noonetoldmeheart
    breakwoul
    dhurtt
    hismuch,Ican’
    tbr
    eat
    heMbongeni
    .If
    eel
    li
    ke
    t
    her
    e’ssomet
    hingst
    uckonmychest,myhearti
    sheav
    y .
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    hu,
    don’
    tdot
    hist
    oyour
    sel
    fpl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “Pl
    easehel
    pmeMbo,
    hel
    pmegethi
    m back.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Howwi
    l
    lIdot
    hatKhet
    hu?Youknowwedon’
    tseeey
    etoey
    e,y
    ouneedt
    ofor
    get
    hi
    m.”

    Me:
    “You’
    reaski
    ngmef
    ort
    hei
    mpossi
    ble.
    ”

    It
    houghthewoul
    dmakemef
    eel
    bet
    ter
    .

    Mbongeni:
    “Iti
    spossibl
    e,youneedtoputyoursel
    ffi
    rstandforgetabouthi
    m.It
    ’st
    heonl
    yway
    youwil
    lbeabletoheal,
    yourhearti
    sbrokenanditwantshim but,youneedtot
    akecont
    rol
    .Don’
    t
    beaslavetoheart
    ache.”

    Thi
    sisnotwhatIwantt
    ohear
    .

    Me:
    “Whydon’
    tyouunder
    standmeSt
    yles?
    ”
    Aknotbui
    l
    dsuponhi
    sfor
    ehead.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    ImeantMbongeni
    ?”

    Hesi
    ghsdeepl
    y.

    Mbongeni
    :“Iwi
    l
    lhel
    pyougett
    hrought
    his,
    you’
    renotal
    one.Icanassur
    eyout
    hat
    .”

    Het
    akesmebacki
    ntohi
    sar
    ms.

    NOMBULELO*

    “
    Lel
    o,wakeup.
    ”

    Iopenmyey
    est
    othesoundofMbuso’
    svoi
    ce.

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “IswearIwi
    l
    lnev
    ergetusedt
    oyourcr
    ust
    yface.
    ”

    Hemocks,
    ashet
    akest
    her
    emot
    etot
    urnof
    ftheTV.

    Me:
    “You’
    reback?Ther
    ewassomeoneher
    elooki
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Isay
    ,br
    ingi
    ngmy
    sel
    ftoasi
    tt
    ingposi
    ti
    on,
    whi
    l
    eleer
    ingupathi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “Who?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    task,
    hewascr
    eepi
    ngmeout
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “Oh.
    ”

    Heacceptsamomentofsi
    l
    ence,
    I’
    m donewi
    tht
    heser
    andom awkwar
    dmoment
    s.Weshoul
    dbe
    pastt
    hatstageal
    ready
    .

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tcook,
    Iwast
    ir
    ed.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “That
    ’sal
    ri
    ght
    ,Ibr
    oughtf
    ood.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    .”

    Mbuso:
    “CanIasky
    ousomet
    hing?
    ”

    Heseemsner
    vous,
    Igest
    uret
    hathecont
    inues.

    Mbuso:“
    Whatwasy
    ourcousi
    n’
    sname?Theonewhowentmi
    ssi
    ng,
    younev
    ert
    oldmeher
    name.
    ”

    Whendi
    dwegether
    e?

    Me:
    “Amar
    a,why
    ?”
    Mbuso:
    “Not
    hing,
    I’
    mjustaski
    ng.Hav
    etheyf
    oundhery
    et?
    ”

    HeknowsIwoul
    d’v
    etol
    dhi
    m,It
    alkabouthermor
    ethanany
    thi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Nope.
    ”

    Thesi
    l
    entmomentagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Mbuso…”

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o,I
    ’
    m sor
    ryf
    orbei
    ngaj
    erk.
    ”

    Hedr
    opsnextt
    ome.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,I’
    m of
    fended.That
    ’smymany
    ou’
    recal
    l
    ingaj
    erk.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Mbuso:
    “Youmeansomucht
    ome,
    alt
    houghImi
    ghtnotsayi
    tmuchof
    ten.Idon’
    twantt
    orush
    t
    his.
    ”

    Me:
    “Tool
    ate,
    wehadsexandI
    ’
    m pr
    egnant
    .”

    Hel
    aughs,
    genui
    nel
    y.

    Mbuso:
    “Damn,
    arewet
    hatf
    ari
    n?Idi
    dn’
    treal
    i
    sei
    t.
    ”

    Hejest
    s,Il
    ovehowhemakesmel
    augh.Il
    ovet
    hismanandIwi
    shhecoul
    dseehowhe’
    sinmy
    hear
    t.

    Mbuso: “
    Ilovey
    ou,IknowIloveyoubecauseyouareal
    lIthi
    nkabout.Youmakemel aughand
    bri
    ngoutthebestinme.You’rel
    it
    erall
    ytheonl
    yonewholaughsatmyst upi
    dit
    y.Yougetmy
    l
    amej okesandIlovethatl
    it
    tl
    esparkinyourey
    eswhenyoulookatme.Dammi t
    ,it
    ’st
    hebest
    feel
    i
    ngint heworl
    d.You’r
    econst
    antlyonmymi ndandy
    ou’retheonl
    ywomanwhohaswant ed
    mef orme.”

    Ist
    if
    leasob,
    thesear
    etear
    sofj
    oy.

    Mbuso:“
    You’
    recr
    ying?Thi
    siswhyIdi
    dn’
    twantt
    otel
    lyout
    hatIl
    ovey
    ou,
    Iknewy
    ouwer
    egoi
    ng
    t
    ocry.
    ”

    Ev
    eni
    nser
    iousmoment
    s,hemustcr
    ackaj
    oke.

    Ij
    abhi
    sshoul
    der
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Ouch.
    ”

    Her
    ubst
    hepai
    naway
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Somepeopl
    egetki
    ssesaf
    terexpr
    essi
    ngt
    hei
    rlov
    eandIgetapai
    nful
    blow.
    ”

    Hecl
    owns,
    Ican’
    thel
    pbut
    ,laugh.

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry.
    ”
    Icr
    adl
    ehi
    scheeksi
    ntomypal
    ms,
    hisey
    esr
    emai
    nonmi
    ne.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    orl
    ovi
    ngme,
    Ipr
    omi
    set
    otr
    yandbet
    hebestf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    sheadi
    ndi
    sappr
    oval
    .

    Mbuso:“Youar
    ethebestformeLel
    oandIdon’
    twanty
    outotryandbesomet
    hingy
    ou’
    renot
    .I
    doubtIwoul
    dli
    keyou,i
    fyouweresomeoneel
    se,Il
    i
    ket
    hisv
    ersionofy
    ou.”

    Het
    hrowsi
    naj
    estatt
    heend.

    Me:
    “Il
    ovey
    ouXaba.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “And,
    Ilov
    eyou,
    mychubbycheeks.
    ”

    Hesqueez esmycheekscausingmetol
    augh,thi
    sisbefor
    ehecaptur
    esmyli
    psandwefalli
    nto
    aninsat
    iableki
    ss.Suddenl
    ytheki
    ssf
    eel
    sdiff
    erent,
    ithasmyhear
    tthuddi
    ngagai
    nstmychest
    andmyv einspulsat
    ingbri
    skl
    y.

    Mbuso:
    “Shoo,
    nowt
    hat
    ,that
    ’soutoft
    heway
    .Icanbr
    eat
    heandeatwi
    thoutmyst
    omach
    t
    urni
    ng.
    ”

    Hest
    atesashej
    umpsf
    rom t
    hecouch.

    I
    ’
    m sel
    l
    inghi
    m.Ican’
    t…

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?You’
    vegott
    obeki
    ddi
    ngme.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Hey
    ,Iwashol
    dingmybr
    eat
    hthewhol
    eti
    me.
    ”

    Heconf esseswhil
    epl
    oddingtot heki
    tchen.Igl
    idebehi
    ndhim andI’
    m stoppedbythearomaof
    pizzaasitti
    ckl
    esmynost r
    il
    s,thi
    smanwant stokil
    lme.Anuncomfortablequeasyf
    eel
    ing
    nudgesatme, thebat
    hroom istoofarandIwon’ tmakei
    t.Nauseascrabblesatmythr
    oat,It
    ry
    toforcethebil
    edownbut,itsubduesme.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    o?”

    Imakei tt
    othekitchensi
    nkandlur
    chforwardasmystomachcont
    ract
    svi
    olent
    ly,
    for
    cing
    ever
    ythingout
    .IspotMbusowi t
    hthecornerofmyeye,
    he’
    sstandi
    ngbesi
    deme.Igentlypush
    hi
    m off.Hecan’tseethi
    s,i
    t’
    srevol
    ti
    ng.Hepersi
    stonst
    ayi
    ng.

    Heopenst het
    apwatertowashouttherepulsivechunksoff
    oodthathasspl
    att
    eredinthesink,
    whi
    lerubbingmyback.Thepungentst
    enchpl undersmynostr
    il
    s,f
    orci
    ngmet oret
    chrepeatedly
    t
    il
    l,
    onlyclearl
    i
    quidevadesf
    rom mymout h.Myt hroatbur
    nsfr
    om thest
    omachacid,Iwashmy
    mouthandgurgle.

    Mbuso:
    “Her
    edr
    inkt
    his.
    ”

    Hehol
    dsoutagl
    assofwat
    er,
    Igl
    anceathi
    m asIwi
    pemyt
    ear
    yey
    es.

    Thewat
    ereasest
    hedi
    scomf
    orti
    nmyt
    hroat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Youokay
    ?”
    Me:
    “Yeah.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “It
    ’st
    hepi
    zza,
    right
    ?”

    Idon’
    tgethi
    sobsessi
    onwi
    tht
    hatgr
    easyf
    ood.

    Me:
    “CanIopent
    hedoor
    ,thesmel
    li
    sst
    il
    lhov
    eri
    ngabout
    .”

    Ipl
    eadatt
    hef
    eel
    ofmyst
    omacht
    urni
    ngagai
    n.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    ldoi
    t,comesi
    t.
    ”

    Heleadsmetoacouch,
    befor
    egli
    dingt
    oopenthedoor.Hetur
    nstomeandsmi
    lesl
    i
    keanidi
    ot,
    Idon’
    tknowwhyhe’
    ssmili
    ngbuti
    thasmelaughi
    ng.He’scut
    eandst
    upi
    dandI’
    minlov
    e.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    82*

    RANDALL*

    Neo:
    “What
    ’sf
    orsupper
    ?Imi
    ssChi
    oma’
    scooki
    ng.
    ”

    Neoexcl
    aimsasweent
    ert
    hepat
    io.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    youcangoandaskher
    .”

    Neo:
    “No,
    I’
    ll
    lethersur
    pri
    seme.Thef
    oodt
    ast
    esbet
    terl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Weset
    tl
    edownont
    hechai
    rs,
    whi
    l
    eSt
    ylest
    hrowswoodi
    ntot
    hef
    ir
    epl
    ace.

    Neo:
    “Youseem di
    stantoga,
    what
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Inot
    icedt
    oo.
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    sLi
    ya,
    hercondi
    ti
    onwor
    ri
    esme.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Ical
    l
    edDoct
    orLawsonaf
    tery
    ousentmet
    het
    ext
    ,you’
    reschedul
    edf
    or12pm t
    omor
    row.
    ”

    Heannouncesasheset
    tl
    esdown.

    Me:
    “IfMbusosay
    shecan’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngt
    hen,
    Idoubthewi
    l
    l.
    ”

    Ipr
    otest
    ,Idon’
    twantmychil
    dtobepr
    ickedwi
    thneedl
    esandpumpedwi
    thmedi
    cat
    ion.Li
    yana
    hasbeenthr
    oughenough.

    Neo:
    “Yeah,
    dokot
    elaoat
    sebadi
    nthot
    sahae.
    ”(Thedoct
    orknowshi
    sst
    uff
    .)

    Me:
    “Mbusot
    hinksi
    tcoul
    dbespi
    ri
    tual
    .
    ”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduce,
    thi
    shasbeenonmymi
    nd.

    Neo:
    “It
    ’spossi
    ble,
    remembermaSont
    o,St
    ylos?
    ”

    Nar
    ked,
    Sty
    lesscr
    atcheshi
    shead.He’
    sal
    sonotaf
    an.

    Sty
    les:“
    Shesai
    dLiyaneedst
    ogot
    oGhanat
    hat
    ,ther
    e’sadar
    kcl
    oudf
    oll
    owi
    ngherandt
    hisonl
    y
    putsherl
    if
    eindanger
    .”

    Heexpl
    ainsashedi
    gsi
    ntomymemor
    y.

    Me:“
    Youtoldmethat
    ,Idoubti
    t’
    sthecase.TheOkol
    i
    esprot
    ectthei
    rown,
    theydonoti
    mpl
    ant
    f
    earorhar
    m.Ift
    heyhaveamessage,theyfi
    ndwaystogeti
    tthr
    ough.”

    Thi
    siswhatIknow.

    Styl
    es:
    “Youshoul
    dlookatotheral
    ter
    nati
    vesRandal
    l
    .Whatexpl
    ainst
    hissuddensei
    zur
    e?I
    s
    ther
    eahist
    oryofepi
    lepsyi
    ny ourf
    amil
    y?”
    Me:
    “Notatal
    l
    ,somehowSegunknewwhatwashappeni
    ngt
    oLi
    ya.
    ”

    Thi
    sbugsme.

    Neo:
    “Li
    keav
    isi
    on?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ify
    ouwantt
    oputi
    tli
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Neo:
    “Uze,
    whati
    fthi
    sishi
    swayofget
    ti
    ngt
    oyou?
    ”

    Thi
    smanget
    swi
    serev
    eryday
    .

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    oumean?Yout
    hinkhedi
    dsomet
    hingt
    omychi
    l
    d?”

    Styl
    es:
    “It
    ’spossi
    ble,
    yourol
    dmanwant sy
    oubackinGhana,byhookorcrookandheis
    desper
    ate.Hewill
    doanythi
    ngtogety
    outher
    e,evenhur
    thisgrandchi
    l
    d.From whaty
    ouhav
    e
    tol
    dmeabouthi m,hedoesn’
    thav
    eabackbone.”

    Iseewher
    eSt
    ylesi
    sgoi
    ngwi
    tht
    his.

    Me:
    “Ift
    hat
    ’st
    rueSt
    yles,
    thenIwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lhi
    m.”

    Neo:
    “Ther
    e’sapr
    obl
    em t
    her
    e,ki
    l
    li
    nghi
    m woul
    dbedeadl
    ytoy
    ouandy
    ourf
    ami
    l
    y.”

    Neoseemst
    obegr
    owi
    ngupandIam l
    i
    kingt
    henewv
    ersi
    onofhi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “May
    bey
    oushoul
    dspeakt
    omaSont
    o.”

    Me:
    “Tr
    adi
    ti
    on,
    Sty
    les?
    ”

    Neo:“Whynot?Youbeli
    evethattheOkol
    i
    eancest
    orspr
    otecty
    ou,
    ist
    hisnott
    hesameas
    bel
    iev
    ingi
    ntradi
    ti
    onalheal
    ing?”

    Me:
    “It
    houghtIwasbegi
    nni
    ngt
    oli
    ket
    hemat
    uredy
    oubut
    ,Ichangemymi
    ndnow.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Neo:
    “Ihav
    eal
    way
    sbeenmat
    uredbozza,
    yout
    wowant
    edmet
    oactdi
    ff
    erentnj
    e.”

    Hedef
    endshi
    msel
    f.

    St
    yles:
    “Yeahr
    ight
    ,youcan’
    tbemat
    uredev
    eni
    fIpai
    dyouami
    l
    li
    on.
    ”

    St
    ylesr
    etor
    ts,
    Isenseabi
    toft
    ensi
    onbet
    weent
    hem.

    Neo:
    “Fi
    rst
    ly,
    haunami
    l
    li
    oneoso,
    thatst
    atementi
    sof
    f.
    ”(Youdon’
    thav
    ethatmi
    l
    li
    on.
    )

    I
    '
    m pr
    ovenr
    ight
    ,St
    ylesi
    sbot
    her
    edaboutsomet
    hingandNeohast
    hisIdon’
    tcar
    eat
    ti
    tude.

    Me:“Okay,
    spiti
    touty
    out wo.I
    thasn’
    tbeenaweeksi
    ncey
    oumov
    edi
    ntoget
    herandy
    ou’
    re
    al
    readyhavi
    ngacouple’
    squarr
    el.
    ”

    St
    ylesgi
    vesmeani
    rkedl
    ook,
    hef
    indsmysar
    casm r
    atherdr
    y.

    Neo:
    “St
    ylosoangkoat
    elebozza,
    becauseIchasedt
    hatcr
    azygi
    rlaway
    .”(
    Sty
    lesi
    supsetwi
    th
    me.
    )

    Neoexpl
    ains.

    Me:
    “Khet
    hu?
    ”

    Iknewshewoul
    dcomebackbut
    ,nott
    hissoon.

    Neo:“
    Shecamet othehousethi
    smorning.AreStylesI’
    my ouronl
    yeye,openforme.Nahana.
    Kabonahor eSt
    ylosmo, mongol
    eahaeat et
    ebel
    a.Uze, nnahakedlal
    intwana.Ihadt
    oactfast
    .”
    (I
    magine.Isawthathiskneeswereweak.Idon’
    tplay.)

    St
    yles:
    “Neo,
    Itol
    dyout
    okeepy
    ourmout
    hshut
    .”

    Hegr
    owl
    sathi
    m.

    Neo:
    “Heehbozza,
    Uzemustknow.
    ”(Noboss.
    )

    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    youcan’
    tdot
    hatt
    oyour
    sel
    f.Khet
    hui
    sadangert
    oyou,
    youneedt
    ost
    ayaway
    .”

    Hehat
    esthatI
    ’m censur
    inghim but
    ,whenSt
    ylesf
    all
    sinl
    ove,
    hef
    all
    shar
    d.IknowKhet
    hust
    il
    l
    hol
    dsaspeci
    alpl
    acei nhishear
    t.

    Sty
    les:“
    Thatwomanwasonceev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    ome,
    Ican’
    tabandonherwhenshe’
    sgoi
    ngt
    hrough
    somethi
    ng.”

    Hest
    ates,
    he’
    sser
    iousaboutt
    his.

    Neo:
    “It
    ri
    edogaandI
    ’
    mti
    red,
    speakt
    oyourf
    ri
    endt
    uu.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Hewav
    eshi
    shand,
    dismi
    ssi
    ngt
    hesubj
    ect
    .

    Me: “
    Styl
    es,I
    ’
    m notgoingt
    ogiv
    eyoualect
    ure,y
    ou’reagrownassmanandIwil
    lnotrunaf
    ter
    you.Butknowthi
    s,i
    fthatwomandar
    estohurtyou.IswearSt
    yles,
    Iwi
    l
    lmakeherpayandnot
    evenyou,wil
    lst
    opme.”

    Hegri
    macesatmeashet i
    l
    tshisheadt
    othesi
    de,If
    indhi
    sact
    sinscr
    utabl
    e.Af
    terwhatKhet
    hu
    di
    dtohim,heshoul
    dwantnot
    hingtodowit
    hher.

    St
    yles:
    “We’
    renother
    efort
    hat
    ,yousai
    dMbusoi
    sdat
    ingAmar
    a’ssi
    ster
    .”

    Igl
    areathi
    m,Iknowt
    hatl
    ook.Hewi
    l
    lgi
    vei
    ntoKhet
    hu’
    scr
    ies.

    Neo:
    “Dokot
    elaoaj
    ola?
    ”(Thedoct
    ori
    sinar
    elat
    ionshi
    p?”

    Whyi
    sheshocked?

    Me:
    “It
    hinkso,
    thel
    ookonhi
    sfacesai
    dit
    .”

    Neo:
    “Yahneh,
    homonat
    emo.
    ”(I
    t’
    sni
    ceher
    e.)

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’snotr
    eal
    l
    yabi
    gdeal
    ift
    heyar
    edat
    ing,
    Amar
    awon’
    tleav
    eyou.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notr
    eal
    l
    ysur
    eaboutt
    hat
    ,Amar
    ahasn’
    ttr
    ulyexpr
    essedherf
    eel
    i
    ngs.
    Me: “
    AmaracravestoseeherfamilyagainandI’
    m afrai
    dthatifshemeetsupwithhercousi
    n,
    shewill
    convi
    ncehertogobackhome.Iwon’ tbeabletoprotectherwhenshe’
    sfarfr
    om me.
    Mkhizeisasi
    ckbastardwhopr ey
    sony oungwomen, hefoughttogettoAmara.Heli
    ter
    all
    y
    tookherfr
    om undermynose,shewon’ tbesafeinthathouse.”

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    rer
    ight
    ,weneedt
    odeal
    wit
    hMkhi
    zef
    ir
    st.Speakt
    oMbusoandt
    ell
    himt
    okeephi
    s
    mouthshut.
    ”

    Neo:
    “Dokot
    elaoaj
    olav
    ele?
    ”(Thedoct
    ori
    sreal
    l
    yinar
    elat
    ionshi
    p?)

    Hest
    il
    ldwel
    l
    sont
    hat
    .Ican’
    t,
    wit
    hNeo.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Idon’
    tknowwhattodowi t
    hMosesanymor e,
    hiscondit
    ionisdeteri
    orat
    ing.Hesl eepsl
    ess,i
    f
    notmore.Hewouldgoadayortwowithoutsleepi
    ngatall
    ,Petuniadoesn’twantt ohel
    pmewi t
    h
    hi
    m.Ihadt otakel
    eavef
    rom wor
    k,soIcanlookafterhi
    mf ul
    lt
    ime.Hisbr otherandunclewent
    backhome, wi
    thapromi
    sethatt
    heywil
    lcomeback.Idoubt ,t
    hough.

    Ihardl
    ytakeMosesoutforwal
    ks,hest
    ill
    chasespeopl
    eandenj
    oysi
    twhent
    heyr
    unf
    rom hi
    m.
    He’sli
    keapuppythatwantst
    oplayal
    ltheti
    me.

    Moses:
    “Zul
    uist
    ell
    i
    ngmet
    ogof
    indhi
    schi
    l
    d.”

    Nkosi
    yabohaski
    l
    ledme,
    hewi
    l
    lnotl
    eav
    emyhusbandi
    npeace.

    Me:
    “Ut
    hini
    Moses?
    ”(Whatar
    eyousay
    ingMoses?
    )

    Ist
    il
    lent
    ert
    aint
    hisnonsense.He’
    sseat
    edont
    hef
    loorent
    ert
    aini
    nghi
    msel
    fwi
    thGodknows
    what.

    Moses:
    “HesaysImustgofi
    ndhischil
    d,Nt
    ombi
    awut
    shel
    euZul
    uukut
    hiasi
    yi
    funi
    ley
    anganel
    a.”
    (
    Tell
    himthatwedon’
    twantt
    hatchil
    dhere.
    )

    Thi
    sisdrai
    ning,Ihadtot
    akeMosestoourr
    oom becauseJonaswascompl ai
    ningabouthi
    s
    guf
    fawi
    ng.Hedi dthi
    stomyhusbandandst
    il
    lwhines.Ihav
    elosthope.Wherewil
    lwebeginto
    l
    ookforAmar a?

    Moses:“
    HayiZul
    u,hayi
    .Iki
    ngayakhoukuthiawulal
    eli
    ?Ngi
    yakut
    shel
    aukut
    hiuAmaraasi
    m’f
    uni
    l
    a.”(
    Yourpr
    oblem i
    sthatyoudon’tl
    i
    sten,
    Itoldyouthatwedon’
    twantAmaraher
    e.)

    Hescr
    eamsashecov
    ershi
    sear
    s.

    Me:
    “Moses,
    yini
    ?”(
    Whati
    sit
    ?)

    Moses:“
    Ntombi
    ,tshel
    auZul
    umaan,
    tel
    lhi
    m Idon’
    twantt
    obr
    ingt
    hatchi
    l
    dinmyhouse.
    ”(Tel
    l
    Zul
    u.)

    He’
    sangr
    y,Ihav
    en’
    tseenhi
    mthi
    supsetsi
    ncehe’
    slosthi
    smi
    nd.
    “
    Ntombi
    ,what
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    arunsi
    nmyr
    oom asi
    fit
    ’sher
    s.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Uf
    unani
    Pet
    uni
    a?”(
    Whatdoy
    ouwantPet
    uni
    a?)

    Iy
    ell
    ather
    .

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ihear
    dMosesscr
    eam.
    ”

    Si
    ncewhendoesshecar
    eaboutmyhusband?

    Me:
    “So?
    ”

    Iwantheroutofmyr
    oom.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hai
    boNt
    ombi
    !Whatwr
    onghav
    eIcommi
    tt
    ed?
    ”

    Thisonl
    ymakesmesoangry,i
    t’
    sthei
    rfaul
    tthatmyhusbandhaslosthi
    smind.Nkosi
    yabowon’
    t
    l
    eav ehi
    minpeace,
    IhopeMoseswill
    recov
    erfrom t
    hishor
    ri
    fi
    cexperi
    enceorhewil
    lneverbe
    thesameagai
    n.

    Me:
    “Pet
    uni
    avoet
    sek.
    ”(Pi
    ssof
    f.
    )

    Herey
    espopopen.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ntombi
    uyangi
    thuka?
    ”(You’
    reswear
    ingatme?
    )

    Shegaspsi
    nshock.

    Moses:“Yeahvoet
    sekPet
    uni
    a,wenanoMhambi
    ,voet
    sekani
    emzi
    niwami
    .”(
    Yes,
    pissof
    f
    Pet
    unia.YouandMhambimustleav
    emyhouse.
    )

    Me:
    “Umzi
    l
    we,
    umy
    eni
    wami
    .”(
    Youhear
    dmyhusband.
    )

    Igi
    veherapat
    roni
    singgl
    are.

    Petuni
    a:“
    Hayike,
    wenanal
    omy
    eni
    wakho,
    nizoqi
    na.Wear
    enotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”(
    Youandy
    our
    husbandwil
    lbestr
    ong.
    )

    Me:
    “Getoutofmyr
    oom Pet
    uni
    a.”

    Ishout,
    seei
    ngherst
    andi
    ngt
    her
    emakesmewantt ogag.Howdidthesepeopleent
    ermyhouse?
    Every
    thi
    ngwentdownhi
    ll
    whent
    heyshowedup.Moseswouldn’
    tbeinthi
    ssit
    uati
    on.

    Moses:
    “Zul
    unawehay
    i.I
    sicef
    engesani
    sbal
    i
    .”(
    Whyar
    eyoubei
    nganui
    sancebr
    otheri
    n-l
    aw?
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    s.

    Me:
    “Pet
    uni
    aphuma.
    ”(Getout
    .)

    Ishoutather
    ,thi
    sshoul
    dbeenought
    ogetheroutofmyr
    oom.Shecl
    i
    ckshert
    ongueasshe
    str
    oll
    sout.

    Moses:
    “Zul
    uangi
    funi
    ,I
    ’m notgoi
    ngt
    olookf
    orher
    .”
    He’
    sannoy
    ingmer
    ightnow.

    Me:
    “Thul
    anawemaan.
    ”(Keepqui
    et.
    )

    Isnapathi
    m.For,howlongdoIhavet
    oendurethi
    s?I’
    m notabadperson,
    Idon’
    tdeser
    vet hi
    s.
    Marthai
    stobl
    amef orthi
    sdarkcl
    oudovermyfamil
    y.Iwi
    llshowherwhatIam madeof,she
    l
    ikesbei
    ngawitch,r
    ight
    ?

    Iwi
    l
    lshowherwhatwedot
    owi
    tchesi
    nthi
    spl
    ace.

    SETHU*

    LeboandIhav
    ebeenargui
    ngi
    nthepar
    kingl
    ot,
    shest
    oppedmewhenIj
    umpedoutoft
    hecar
    .I
    thi
    nkshewaswai
    ti
    ngforme.

    Lebo:
    “Ihadt
    otel
    launt
    ,may
    beshewi
    l
    lknocksomesensei
    ntoy
    ou.
    ”

    Sher
    aisesherv
    oice,
    Icannev
    erhav
    eanor
    mal
    conv
    ersat
    ionwi
    thher
    .

    Me:“
    Youdidn’
    thav
    etot
    ell
    herany
    thi
    ngandy
    oul
    i
    ed,
    youmadeupast
    oryaboutSt
    ylesbei
    nga
    dr
    ugdeal
    er.
    ”

    Shehuf
    fs,
    itstat
    esthatshecar
    esnot
    hingaboutme.Ican’
    trecal
    ladaywhenLebor
    espect
    ed
    meandmyf ri
    ends.

    Lebo:
    “Itwast
    heonl
    ywayt
    heycoul
    dtaket
    hisser
    ious.
    ”

    Herr
    easoni
    ngi
    sst
    upi
    dbut
    ,thi
    sisLebo.Shet
    hinksher
    sel
    ftobewi
    se.

    Me:
    “Whydoy
    ouwantmet
    ost
    ayawayf
    rom St
    yles?Whydoy
    ouhat
    ehi
    m somuch?
    ”

    Isear
    ch,
    Ican’tf
    indabet
    terreasonf
    orherbi
    tt
    erness.I
    fitwer
    eupt
    oher
    ,Iwoul
    dbel
    ockedupi
    n
    aboxawayfrom humani
    ty.

    Lebo:
    “Pl
    ease,
    Idon’
    tev
    enknowt
    heguy
    .”

    Herey
    esf
    li
    cker
    ,Iknowt
    hisl
    ookpr
    ett
    ywel
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Exact
    ly,
    youdon’
    tknowhi
    myet
    ,youhav
    emadeupy
    ourmi
    ndt
    hathei
    sabadper
    son.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Madeupmymi
    nd?Youwer
    ether
    edur
    ingt
    heshootoutandwhyi
    shenoti
    njai
    l
    ?”

    Sheshouts,herv
    oicehastobelouderthanmi
    neanyway
    .It
    ’st
    hewayshewant
    sit
    ,it
    ’sbad
    enoughthatshehasahigh-
    pit
    chedv oi
    ce.HowdoIcompet
    ewitht
    hat
    ?

    Me:
    “Don’
    tbel
    i
    ket
    hatLebo,
    youhav
    enoi
    deawhatwashappeni
    ngt
    hatday
    .”

    Ir
    etor
    t,suddenl
    yaf
    rai
    dofwhatherconni
    vi
    ngmi
    ndi
    sent
    ert
    aini
    ng.

    Lebo:“IknowwhatIsawandIheardther
    e’sani
    nvest
    igat
    iongoi
    ngon.I
    fIgot
    othepol
    i
    ce
    stat
    ionandtel
    lthem whatIknow…”
    Heardfrom who?Unlessshe’
    sbeenst
    alki
    nghim.She’
    scapabl
    eofany
    thi
    ng,
    Iwoul
    dn’
    tbe
    sur
    prisedi
    fLeboisthesnakewhogaveEv et
    heforbi
    ddenfr
    uit
    .

    Me:
    “Youwoul
    dn’
    tdar
    e.”

    Lebo:
    “Tr
    yme.
    ”

    Thecol
    dcur
    tnessi
    nhert
    oneshakesme.

    Me:
    “Doi
    tLeboandy
    ouwi
    l
    lsee.
    ”

    Iknowhowt
    ost
    andupf
    ormy
    sel
    f,Ij
    ustwantpeacet
    orei
    gni
    nthi
    sdy
    sfunct
    ional
    fami
    l
    y.

    Lebo:
    “Whatwi
    l
    lyoudoSet
    hu?I
    ’
    m notaf
    rai
    dofy
    ou,
    Iwi
    l
    lrepor
    tthatt
    hug.Hebel
    ongsi
    njai
    l
    .”

    But
    ,thenagai
    n.Shewi
    l
    lnotl
    etpeaceembr
    aceus.

    Shepushesonwant
    ingt
    ogetSt
    ylesar
    rest
    ed.

    Me:
    “Youst
    ayt
    hehel
    lawayf
    rom St
    yles,
    youhearme?
    ”

    Idi
    dnotf i
    ghtforNtokozo,hehadcrushedmysoulandbr
    okemyst r
    engthwhil
    eati
    tbut,Iwi
    l
    l
    fi
    ghtforStyl
    es.Cousindearestwi
    l
    lnotharm hi
    m.I
    fIhavetopushagai
    nstherdemons,
    thenso
    beit
    .

    Shecackl
    esasshecl
    apsonce.

    Lebo:
    “You’
    redef
    endi
    nghi
    m now?I
    sli
    tt
    leMi
    ssSet
    hucat
    chi
    ngf
    eel
    i
    ngs?
    ”

    Shemocksme,
    thi
    sissochi
    l
    dish.

    Idon’
    thaveti
    mef orthi
    s.Iwi
    l
    lnotent
    ert
    ainher
    ,Iswi
    vel
    towal
    kawaybutsher
    ushesaf
    terme
    andblocksmyfootpath.

    Imovetothesideandshemoveswit
    hme,
    shehast
    hissmugonherf
    aceandIwantt
    owi
    pei
    t
    of
    fbut,
    Irefusetostoopt
    oherl
    evel
    .

    Me:
    “LetmepassLebo.
    ”

    Idemandster
    nly,
    I’m notav
    iol
    entper
    son.She’
    spr
    ovoki
    ngme,
    Ist
    il
    lref
    uset
    odebasemy
    sel
    f.I
    am bet
    tert
    hanthis.

    Lebo:
    “We’
    renotdone.
    ”

    “
    Ithi
    nky
    ouar
    e.”

    Whendi
    dhegether
    e?

    Iforgothesai
    dhewascomi ng,
    Lebor ol
    l
    sherey
    esandf
    uri
    ousl
    ysl
    i
    ther
    saway
    .Whowoul
    d’
    ve
    thought?Thefear
    lessLeboi
    sdeter
    red.

    St
    yles:
    “Youcannotl
    etherspeakt
    oyoul
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Helooksdownatmeaft
    erambl
    ingtowardsme.Recogni
    zi
    ngtheworryi
    nhistone,
    Ibecome
    def
    ensiv
    e.Hehastoomuchonhispl
    ate,
    Iwouldn’
    twanthimt
    ostressaboutme.
    Me:
    “Icanhandl
    eher
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Iknowbut
    ,you’
    rel
    ett
    ingherbul
    l
    yyou.Youshoul
    dn’
    ttakeshi
    tfr
    om her
    .”

    Me:
    “Mr
    .St
    yles,
    let
    ’snott
    alkaboutherpl
    ease.Mydayhasgonedownt
    hedr
    ain.
    ”

    Idi
    smi
    sshi
    m,cur
    tl
    y.Lebosur
    eknowshowt
    ocr
    ushone’
    sspi
    ri
    t.

    St
    yles:
    “Howaboutwedosomet
    hingaboutt
    hat
    ?”

    Heof
    fer
    ssmili
    ngdownatme, I
    ’
    m cluel
    essastowhathe’
    spl
    anni
    ng.Hei
    smy
    ster
    iousaf
    teral
    l
    .
    Hi
    sexpr
    essi
    onsarecapped,
    hehidesthem wel
    l
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m noti
    nthemoodf
    orany
    thi
    ngMr
    .St
    yles.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“
    Iwi
    l
    lnottaket
    hat
    ,you’
    rewor
    kingt
    hegr
    aveshi
    ftandmel
    anchol
    yisnotagoodf
    ri
    endt
    o
    keep,t
    heni
    ghti
    slong.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Pl
    ease,
    letmemakey
    ourdaybet
    ter
    .Iwantt
    otakecar
    eofy
    ouki
    tt
    en.
    ”

    Myhear
    tisf
    orwar
    d,Idon’
    tknowwhyi
    t’
    sjumpi
    ngl
    i
    ket
    his.I
    tbet
    ternotgetmei
    ntr
    oubl
    e.

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    ouhav
    einmi
    nd?
    ”

    HowcanIsaynowhenhe’
    slooki
    ngatmel
    i
    ket
    his?Heaccept
    sagent
    lesmi
    l
    e,i
    t’
    scont
    agi
    ous
    asIr
    etur
    nit
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Wher
    eisy
    ourcar
    ?”

    It
    wistmyheadbackt
    opoi
    ntati
    t.

    St
    yles:
    “Gi
    vemet
    hekey
    s,I
    ’
    lldr
    ive.
    ”

    Me:“
    Whydon’twet
    akey
    our
    s?Ionl
    yhav
    eenoughf
    uel
    togetmebackhome,
    pat
    rol
    isnotki
    nd
    t
    heseday
    s.”

    Helaughs,I
    ’v
    enot i
    cedhowhelaughsatmyj
    okes.I
    ’
    m nott
    hef
    unni
    estper
    sont
    owal
    kthef
    ace
    oft
    heear t
    h.Ntokozowoul
    dli
    teral
    lyt
    ell
    metostopi
    tandgr
    owup.

    St
    yles:
    “We’
    l
    lfi
    l
    lupont
    heway
    .”

    Hetakesmyhandandleadsmetomycar,thi
    sisahabithehasadapted.Andhehasn’
    tst
    opped
    hol
    dingmyhand,
    I’
    m notcompl
    aini
    ng.Thi
    sishopethat
    ,ther
    earekindpeoplewhoresi
    dei
    nthis
    worl
    d.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    83*

    SETHU*

    Wegett oourdesti
    nat
    ion,It
    houghtweweregoingtoanot hereat
    ery
    .I’
    m sur
    pri
    sedthathehas
    broughtmetoadogshel t
    er,t
    hismanisf
    ullofsur
    prises.Iwatchhiminwonderashejumpsout
    ofthecar,
    he’snotgoi
    ngtoexplai
    nwhywear ehere.Ifoll
    owbehindandwaitforhi
    m ashe
    st
    r i
    destome.

    Me:
    “Dogshel
    ter
    ?”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Styl
    es:
    “Ihearpet
    saret
    her
    apeut
    ic,
    theycanreducestr
    ess,anxi
    etyanddepr
    essi
    on.You’
    re
    feel
    i
    ngdownso, t
    hiswi
    l
    lhel
    pandgetthi
    s,i
    talsoeaseslonel
    iness.
    ”

    Me:
    “Lonel
    i
    ness?I
    ’
    m notl
    onel
    y.HowcanIbe,
    wheny
    ou’
    rewi
    thme?
    ”

    Il
    eerupathi
    m asIdecl
    are,
    hesmi
    l
    esandci
    rcl
    eshi
    shandonmywai
    st.Hepul
    l
    smei
    ntohi
    m,
    myhandsfal
    lonhi
    schest.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m notusual
    l
    yat
    tract
    edt
    oshor
    tgi
    rl
    sbut
    ,youdoi
    tforme.You’
    recut
    eandador
    abl
    e.”

    Di
    dhej
    ustsaycut
    eandador
    abl
    e?

    Iwi
    l
    llett
    hissl
    i
    de.

    Me:“
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkIappreci
    atebei
    ngcal
    l
    edshort
    ,I’
    mt heav
    eragehei
    ght
    .Thenor
    mal
    hei
    ght
    ,
    whi
    l
    ey oudeci
    dedthatGodneededt
    ogoalit
    tl
    ehigher.
    ”

    Hel aughs,befor
    ethere’saquietmoment.Westil
    lgetmanyoft hose,hiseyesfi
    ndmyli
    psandI
    am t emptedtotastehis.Thi
    scouldbeamistake.Heprobablyhasn’tgott
    enoverthewoman
    thatheoncel oved.Ihavebeenhurtbef
    oreandIwillnotsetmyselfupforanother
    disappointment.

    Ipul
    lawayf
    rom hi
    sar
    ms,
    lastt
    imeIcheckedwewer
    efr
    iends.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,Ihopey
    ouwon’
    tmakemegetadog,
    I’
    mter
    ri
    fi
    edofdogs.
    ”

    Ist
    ateaswegl
    i
    det
    otowar
    dst
    heent
    rance.

    Hel
    aughsatmyst
    atement
    .

    Idon’
    tneedpett
    her
    apy
    ,hi
    slaughi
    smor
    ethanenough.

    St
    yles:
    “Why
    ?Dogsar
    ecut
    e.”

    Me:
    “Li
    key
    ousai
    d,I
    ’
    m shor
    tandshor
    tgi
    rl
    scan’
    trun.I
    ’
    llbei
    ntr
    oubl
    eift
    hedogchasesme.
    ”

    Hi
    sheadf
    all
    sback,
    ashei
    ndul
    gesonanot
    herr
    oll
    ofl
    aught
    er.
    We’reapproachedbyaguydressedinuni
    form,wholeadsustothecages.Igettopataf
    ew
    puppies,onl
    yones,It
    hinkwon’
    tbit
    eme.St y
    lesi
    sri
    ght ,
    theyar
    ether
    apeutic.Ihavemyown
    demonsI ’mfi
    ghti
    ngandhehasnocl uehowmucht hismeanstome, t
    herearet i
    meswhenIf
    eel
    l
    ikegivingup.

    Mr.St
    ylesremindsmeofhowGodwor ksthroughpeople,hemustbetheonesenttogui
    deme.
    Thi
    sjustprovestomethat
    ,whenGodshowsup, heshowsof f.Noonehaseverbeensogentl
    e
    andki
    ndt ome.Af t
    erNt
    okozo,
    Icoul
    dn’tl
    etanymani n.Iwasterr
    if
    iedofmenandthoughtt
    hey
    wereal
    l monster
    swhowereouttogetme.

    HowIl
    ett
    hisonei
    n,i
    samy
    ster
    y.May
    bei
    tcoul
    dbet
    hat
    ,wear
    ebot
    hbr
    okenandi
    nneedofa
    f
    ri
    end.

    St
    yles:
    “Car
    etoshar
    eyourt
    hought
    s?”

    Hesnapshi
    sfi
    nger
    swhenhenot i
    cesmest
    ari
    ngint
    ospace,
    we’
    reseat
    edataneat
    eryi
    nPar
    k
    Town.Iwi
    ll
    bel
    ateforwor
    kifIkeepfol
    l
    owi
    nghim.

    Me:
    “Iwast
    hinki
    ng,
    howl
    uckyIam t
    ohav
    ea…”

    St
    yles:
    “Pl
    easedon’
    tsayf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Hecut
    smeashepr
    edi
    ctsmywor
    ds.

    St
    yles:
    “Youcan’
    tcomebackf
    rom t
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouknowwhatIwasgoi
    ngt
    osay
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Isawi
    tcomi
    ngandIwi
    l
    lnotl
    ety
    ouf
    ri
    endzoneme.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    treal
    i
    zet
    hat
    ’swhatIwasaboutt
    odo.

    Me:
    “Whatdowecal
    lthi
    sthen?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sunt
    it
    ledatt
    hemomentandI
    ’
    m comf
    ort
    abl
    ewi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m okaywi
    thi
    ttoo,
    asl
    ongashe’
    sher
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ’sy
    ourdeal
    breakeri
    nar
    elat
    ionshi
    p?”

    Thi
    sisr
    atherr
    andom.

    Me:
    “Wel
    l
    ,cheat
    ing.I
    ’
    m notgoodatshar
    ing.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “That
    ’si
    t?”

    Me:
    “There’
    smorebut
    ,Ican’
    tthi
    nkofanythi
    ngri
    ghtnow.Ihav
    en’
    treal
    l
    ythoughtaboutdat
    ing,
    I
    ’mtr
    yingtost
    aysi
    ngl
    eso,Icanfi
    ndmy self
    .”

    Di
    dIj
    ustr
    eveal
    that
    ?

    Thei
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    ookonhi
    sfacesay
    she’
    saboutt
    oaskwhyI
    ’
    m onapat
    htosel
    f-
    discov
    ery
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Whatl
    edy
    out
    othi
    spat
    h?”
    Isai
    dit
    .

    Me:
    “Theex,
    het
    ooksomet
    hingf
    rom me,
    somet
    hingIcannev
    ergetback.
    ”

    I
    tst
    il
    lfeel
    sli
    key
    est
    erdaywhent
    hishappened,
    ther
    eisnoget
    ti
    ngov
    eri
    t.

    St
    yles:
    “Whatdi
    dhedo?Wasi
    tthecheat
    ing?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notr
    eadyt
    oshar
    ethedet
    ail
    s.

    Me:
    “No,
    may
    be.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youcant
    alkt
    omeabouti
    t,y
    ouknowt
    hatr
    ight
    ?”

    Andt
    hisi
    swhatIappr
    eci
    ateabouthi
    m.

    Me:
    “Ido.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Thi
    sseemsdeep,
    didy
    ougethel
    p?”

    Me:“YouknowAf
    ri
    canPar
    ent
    s,t
    heywi
    l
    ltel
    lyout
    hatt
    her
    apyi
    sforwhi
    tepeopl
    eandweshoul
    d
    sl
    eepitof
    f.
    ”

    It
    hinkI
    ’
    m becomi
    ngemot
    ional
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Yeahbut
    ,thati
    swr
    ong.Youneedt
    ospeakt
    osomeoneabouty
    ourpr
    obl
    ems.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mymot herusedtosayt
    akey
    ourpr
    obl
    emst
    oGodandgot
    osl
    eep.Thi
    sishowIwasabl
    e
    t
    ostor
    ethem away.”

    St
    yles:
    “Won’
    tyout
    ell
    mewhati
    tis,
    Iwantt
    ohel
    pyou.Iwantt
    oremov
    ethatpai
    niny
    ourey
    es.
    ”

    Thismakesmemor eemot i
    onal
    .Ishakemyhead,maybeonedayIwil
    lopenuptohim.Thisi
    s
    thefi
    rstt
    imeIam giv
    enaplatf
    ormt oshar
    emypainandtheurgei
    stherebut
    ,IknowthatIwi
    ll
    breakdown.Fornow,thememoryisbett
    erhi
    dden.

    Me:
    “Lookatt
    het
    ime,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    obel
    ate.
    ”

    IinspectmyphoneasIut
    ter
    ,hedoesn’
    trespondbut
    ,leer
    satme.Idon’
    tknowwhathe’
    s
    thinki
    ng.

    Ibr
    ingmy
    sel
    fupf
    rom t
    hechai
    r,t
    hisi
    swhenhemov
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Wheni
    syourbi
    rt
    hday
    ?”

    Hequer
    iesashet
    akesmyhand,
    leadi
    ngmeout
    side.

    Me:
    “Oct
    obert
    hir
    d,why
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m get
    ti
    ngy
    ouapuppy
    .”

    Hel
    lno.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ewi
    l
    lthatpuppyst
    ay?Iknowi
    tdef
    ini
    tel
    ywon’
    tbei
    nmyhouse.
    ”
    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “We’
    l
    lseeaboutt
    hat
    ,wheny
    ouf
    all
    inl
    ovewi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idoubtt
    hatwi
    l
    lhappen.
    ”

    Idr
    eadgoi
    ngbackt
    owor
    k,Leboi
    sther
    eandshe’
    sthel
    astper
    sonIwantt
    osee.

    AMARA*

    If
    indIfeinherroom,she’
    slayi
    ngonthebedwit
    hherf
    eetup,whi
    l
    el i
    steni
    ngtoBobMar
    ley
    .I
    di
    dn’texpectt
    hishonestl
    y,t
    hisi
    snotthet
    ypeofmusi
    cheragegrouplist
    ensto.

    Me:
    “Youhav
    egr
    eatt
    ast
    e.”

    Sher
    aisesherheadatt
    hesoundofmyv
    oice.

    I
    fe:
    “Hey
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tseey
    out
    her
    e.”

    Me:
    “CanIcomei
    n?”

    I
    fe:
    “Sur
    e.”

    Ist
    ri
    dei
    nandsi
    tmy
    sel
    font
    heedgeofherbed.

    Me:
    “So,
    BobMar
    ley
    ?”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    I
    fe:“
    Iam yet
    ,tohearamusi
    cianwi
    thsuchpur
    eharmony
    ,hi
    ssongsar
    ecl
    ean.Ther
    e’snov
    ulgar
    ,
    not
    hingt
    hatwill
    bringmei
    ntoadepressi
    onmode.
    ”

    Peopl
    ecansur
    pri
    sey
    ou.

    Me:
    “Wow,
    I’
    mimpr
    essed.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Yout
    houghtIwasi
    ntot
    rapmusi
    c?”

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    tli
    e.”

    Shel
    aughs.

    I
    fe:
    “Wher
    eisbr
    other
    ?I’
    m sur
    pri
    sedhel
    ety
    ououtofhi
    ssi
    ght
    .Yout
    woar
    etoomuch,
    real
    l
    y.”

    I
    fet
    alksal
    ot,
    sheal
    way
    shassomet
    hingt
    osay
    .

    Me:
    “Hewentout
    ,Ineedt
    oasky
    ousomet
    hing.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m al
    lear
    s.”

    Thi
    sisi
    t,Ihav
    etov
    oiceoutmywor
    ri
    es.
    Me:
    “Ineedt
    omeetupwi
    thRut
    h.”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduce,
    hermout
    hfl
    i
    esopen.

    I
    fe:“
    Doyouhaveadeathwish?Brot
    herwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyou,
    Iknowy
    ou’
    rehi
    sweakness.Ihav
    eseeni
    t
    but
    ,don’
    tuset
    hatt
    oy ouradvant
    age.
    ”

    Ihav
    en’
    tsai
    dmuchandshehasal
    readyconcl
    uded.

    Me:
    “If
    e,t
    hisi
    stheonl
    yway
    ,yousai
    dity
    our
    sel
    fthat
    ,Icanact
    ual
    l
    ygett
    hrought
    oher
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Yesbut
    ,he’
    sagai
    nsti
    t.Youwantt
    odot
    hiswi
    thouthi
    sknowl
    edger
    ight
    ?”

    Inod.

    Sur
    pri
    singl
    y,thi
    sistor
    ment
    ingme.Ican’
    tgeti
    toutofmymi
    nd,
    Randal
    li
    sroy
    alt
    y,i
    t’
    shi
    sdest
    iny
    andhecan’tdenyit
    .

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m sor
    rybut
    ,Ican’
    tlety
    oudot
    hat
    .”

    Me:
    “If
    epl
    ease,
    notknowi
    ngwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngoni
    stor
    tur
    e.”

    Ipl
    ead,
    desper
    atel
    y.

    I
    fe:
    “Igetwher
    eyou’
    recomi
    ngf
    rom Amar
    aandIcompl
    etel
    yunder
    standbut
    ,br
    otherf
    orbi
    dit
    .”

    Sher
    eleasesaheav
    ysi
    gh.

    I
    fe:
    “You’
    reaf
    rai
    dofl
    osi
    nghi
    m,ar
    en’
    tyou?
    ”

    Ihav
    enev
    erbeenaf
    rai
    dofany
    thi
    ngi
    nmyl
    i
    fe.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’sabi
    gpossi
    bil
    i
    tyt
    hatoneday
    ,hewi
    l
    lagr
    eet
    oyourf
    ather
    ’sdemands.
    ”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    thedi
    sappoi
    ntedl
    ookonherf
    ace,
    hasmedr
    oppi
    ngmygaze.

    I
    fe:“Yousee,thi
    siswhyy outwoneedtodate.Got hroughthecourtshi
    pstage,gettoknoweach
    other.Amara,
    whaty ou’
    retel
    l
    ingmenow, pr
    ov esthatyoudon’tknowhi m atall
    .Brotherst
    ands
    upforwhathebel i
    evesi
    n.Hedoesn’tf
    oll
    ow, he’
    sal eader.Myfathermighttryeverytri
    cki
    nthe
    bookt ogethi
    mt odowhathewant sbut,
    brotherwillnotbend.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iheary
    ou,
    Idon’
    tknowhowt
    ost
    opwor
    ryi
    ng.I
    t’
    sal
    lIt
    hinkaboutI
    fe.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Li
    stent
    oBobMar
    leyandst
    opat
    tract
    ingnegat
    iveener
    gy.
    ”

    Il
    aughatherr
    etor
    t.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    oloseRandal
    l
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Youwon’
    tnow,
    stopwor
    ryi
    ng.You’
    reonl
    ytor
    ment
    ingy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    She’
    sri
    ght
    .

    Ther
    e’sasuddenknockont
    hedoor
    ,Randal
    li
    sback.
    I
    fe:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Sheyells,myheartstart
    shammer i
    ng.I
    ’m suddenlynervousandeagertoseehisf
    ace.I
    tall
    comescr ushi
    ngdownwhenRav enstepsin,helookswear yandangerr
    esidesonhisf
    ace.He
    bri
    efl
    ygl aresatme,beforetur
    ninghiseyestohissister
    , I
    ’
    m notcer
    tai
    naboutthescowlonhis
    facethat,hasmef eel
    ingli
    keIhavedonesomet hi
    ngwr ong.

    Rav
    en:
    “Wher
    eisUze?
    ”

    He’
    supset
    ,hi
    svoi
    cesni
    tchesonhi
    m.

    I
    fe:
    “Wear
    enotr
    obot
    sbr
    other
    ,sur
    elyy
    ouwon’
    tdi
    eify
    ougr
    eetus.
    ”

    Hegr
    imacesather
    ,he’
    snother
    eforchi
    tchat
    .If
    ail
    tof
    indt
    hef
    ri
    endl
    yfacehei
    sknownf
    or.

    Rav
    en:
    “Wher
    eisUze?
    ”

    Her
    epeat
    s,compl
    etel
    yshut
    ti
    ngherout
    .

    I
    fe:
    “You’
    rehi
    sbr
    other
    ,youshoul
    dknowwher
    ehei
    s.”

    Raven:“I
    feany
    i,don’
    tpi
    ssmeof
    f,f
    atherwant
    stospeakt
    ohi
    m.Whyhashenotbeent
    aki
    nghi
    s
    cal
    l
    s? ”

    I
    fer
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Idon’
    tknowRav
    en,
    youshoul
    daskhi
    mthat
    .”

    Me:
    “It
    hinkhewentt
    oseeaf
    ri
    endorsomet
    hingl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Hi
    sey
    esf
    inal
    l
    yfal
    lonmebut
    ,it
    ’snotacor
    dial
    mien.

    I
    fe:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    syourpr
    obl
    em Rav
    en?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “What
    ?”

    Hegr
    owl
    s.

    I
    fe:
    “Amar
    aist
    alki
    ngt
    oyou,
    ther
    e’snor
    easonf
    ory
    out
    ober
    ude.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Pl
    ease,
    Idonotent
    ert
    ainpeasant
    s.”

    Wow.

    Idi
    dn’
    texpectt
    hisfr
    om hi
    m,Ravenofal
    lpeopl
    e.Hel
    ovesRandal
    l
    ,hewas,
    fort
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.
    Whathashappenednow?Whyishecall
    i
    ngmenames?

    I
    fej
    umpsf
    rom t
    hebed.

    I
    fe:
    “Whatdi
    dyousayUzoma?
    ”

    Shet
    oddl
    est
    owar
    dshi
    m,she’
    supset
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Whosesi
    dear
    eyouonI
    feany
    i?Hav
    eyouseeny
    ourf
    atherandhowmi
    ser
    abl
    ehei
    s?”
    I
    fecackl
    es,
    I’
    m onmyf
    eetnowasI
    fel
    ooksl
    i
    keshe’
    saboutt
    oat
    tackherbr
    other
    .

    I
    fe:“Si
    deRav
    en?Thisisnotaboutt
    aki
    ngsides,
    thi
    sisaboutr
    ightandwr
    ong.Mybr
    otheri
    snota
    puppet,
    hewil
    lnotbecont
    roll
    edbySegun.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Wat
    chy
    ourmout
    hli
    tt
    legi
    rl
    ,thati
    syourf
    athery
    ou’
    readdr
    essi
    ngbyname.
    ”

    Hesnapsather
    ,ashemov
    esf
    rom t
    hedoorway
    ,tr
    eadi
    ngt
    owar
    dsher
    .Thi
    sdoesnotl
    ookgood.

    I
    fe:
    “Iwi
    shhewasn’tmyfat
    her
    ,canonebesounl
    uckytobefat
    her
    edbySegunOkoli
    e?Andyou,
    Rav
    en.Youhav
    ealwaysbeenhi
    sshadowbut,
    Inevert
    houghty
    ouwoul
    dturnonyourbr
    other
    .”

    Sher
    aisesherv
    oice,
    hiswor
    dshav
    eev
    okedacer
    tai
    nangeri
    nher
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Li
    keIsai
    d,y
    ou’
    reachi
    l
    dIf
    eandy
    ouwi
    l
    lnotunder
    standany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Iam notachil
    d,Iseewhatishappeni
    ng.Yout
    hinkIhav
    en’
    tseenbr
    other
    ’spai
    n,i
    thur
    tshi
    m
    t
    hathisbrot
    herandfatherdonotsuppor
    thim.”

    May
    beIshoul
    dint
    erv
    ene,
    thi
    sar
    gumenti
    sget
    ti
    ngheat
    ed.

    Me:
    “If
    e…”

    Rav
    en:
    “Youst
    ayoutoft
    his,
    it’
    sbecauseofy
    out
    hat
    ,Uzer
    efusest
    oseer
    eason.
    ”

    Okay
    ,Ishoul
    dhav
    ekeptmymout
    hshut
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Don’
    tspeakt
    oherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ,youseem t
    ofor
    getwhosehousey
    ou’
    rei
    n.”

    Raven:“
    List
    en,Iam notf
    azedbyyourthreat
    sIfeany
    i,Ihav
    etol
    erat
    edy
    ourt
    onel
    ongenough.I
    ’
    m
    yourel
    derbrot
    her,y
    ouneedtoshowr espect.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Wel
    l
    ,youneedt
    oactl
    i
    keanel
    derbr
    other
    .”

    Shey
    ell
    sathi
    m.

    Raven:
    “If
    eanyi
    ,speakt
    omel
    i
    ket
    hatagai
    nandIwi
    l
    lsmacky
    oubackt
    oyourmot
    her
    ’s
    compound.”

    Hey
    ell
    sbackashechar
    gesather
    .Fearpl
    ast
    eredonherf
    ace,
    shet
    akesaf
    ewst
    epsback.

    I
    feisaudacious,she’
    safi
    ghterli
    keRandall
    .Heresheis,st
    andingupagainstherbrother.If
    ail
    to
    fi
    ndamot i
    vebehindRav
    en’sblat
    antbehavi
    our,i
    tcouldbethathisf
    atherhasgottent ohim.
    Justyester
    day,hewasonRandal l
    ’
    sside.If
    earthatSeguncouldhavethesameef fecton
    Randall
    ,heappearstobegoodatbr ai
    nwashingpeopl
    e.

    I
    fe:
    “Getoutofher
    e,Rav
    en,
    leav
    e.”

    Shepoi
    ntst
    othedoorasshey
    ell
    sathi
    m.

    Rav
    en: “
    Iwil
    lbeback,t
    ell
    thatbr
    otherofyour
    sthathi
    sdaysofdi
    srespect
    ingmyfatherar
    eov
    er.
    Iwi
    llnotsi
    tandwatchmyf at
    herdrowninsorr
    owsbecausehi
    ssonr ef
    usestosubmit.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    satherbef
    orest
    ormi
    ngout
    ,wi
    thoutasmuchacknowl
    edgi
    ngme.
    Me:
    “If
    e.”

    She’
    str
    yingt
    ocal
    m her
    sel
    fdownasshecount
    sherbr
    eat
    hs.

    I
    fe:
    “Ihat
    ehi
    m.”

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    tmeant
    hat
    .”

    Shet
    urnst
    olookatme.

    If
    e:“OhIdo,youdon’
    tknowthethi
    ngstheyhav
    edonewi t
    hfather
    .Thosepeopl
    eareevi
    lAmara,
    Iheardt
    hingsint
    hathouse.Thi
    ngsyouwouldbeshockedtohear,
    theyt
    hinkI
    ’minthedar
    k.”

    She’
    sscar
    ingmer
    ightnow.Whatcoul
    dshepossi
    blybet
    alki
    ngabout
    ?

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hingsI
    fe?
    ”

    Ipr
    obabl
    yshoul
    dn’
    tbepr
    ying.

    Shesi
    ghsandwal
    kst
    osi
    tonherbed,
    myey
    eswat
    chhermov
    ement
    sasIwai
    tforananswer
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Ican’
    ttel
    lyou,
    itwi
    l
    lonl
    yputy
    ourl
    i
    fei
    ndanger
    .”

    Sher
    aisesherey
    est
    olookatme.

    I
    fe:
    “Pl
    ease,
    don’
    ttel
    lbr
    otherwhatIsai
    d.”

    Shepl
    eads,
    thi
    sseemsdeep.

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    t.
    ”

    It
    houghtIwaswor
    ri
    edbutnow,
    mymi
    ndi
    smuddl
    ed.Thi
    sisbi
    ggert
    hanme.

    Wi
    l
    lRandal
    landIev
    erhav
    epeace?

    MBUSO*

    TrustRandal
    ltoexpectmet
    ojumpwhenhebar
    ks,IhadtoleaveLel
    oaloneathomeashe
    commandedt hatwemeet.He’
    swai
    ti
    ngformeatacoffeeshop,he’
    sseatedi
    nsi
    dewit
    hawhi
    te
    coffeemugbeforehim.

    Theplacei
    snotcr
    owded,
    it’
    sapeacefulspace.Ishoul
    dbringLeloher
    e,somewhereawayf
    rom
    ther
    abblei
    nRandbur
    gandSebokeng.Sheneedst odist
    ress,she’
    sgoi
    ngthroughsomuch.

    Randal
    lseesmeandgi
    vesmeasmugl
    ookasIappr
    oach.

    Me:
    “Youknowy
    oushoul
    dst
    opcommandi
    ngmear
    ound,
    Ihav
    eal
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Icompl
    ain,
    asIgett
    ohi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wel
    l
    ,you’
    reher
    e,I
    fyouhadapr
    obl
    em,
    youwoul
    dn’
    thav
    ebot
    her
    edt
    ocome.
    ”
    Thesmug,
    Ithi
    nkIknowwhatt
    hisi
    sabout
    .Hegest
    urest
    hatIsi
    t,Iset
    tl
    edownopposi
    tehi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Cof
    fee?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    ospoi
    lmyappet
    it
    e,Lel
    ocooked.
    ”

    It
    hrowt
    hati
    n,knowi
    ngt
    hathe’
    sputt
    woandt
    wot
    oget
    her
    .Hesneer
    satme.

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    it’
    str
    ue?
    ”

    Me:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Whatar
    eyoupl
    anni
    ngt
    oachi
    evewi
    tht
    his?
    ”

    Randal
    ldoesn’
    tsur
    pri
    semeany
    mor
    e.

    Me:“Idon’
    tknowwhatyoumeanbyt hatandbef
    orey
    ousum upy
    ourownconcl
    usi
    ons,
    Idi
    dn’
    t
    knowtheywererel
    atedwhenImether.”

    Randal
    l
    :“Now,
    youknow.
    ”

    Idon’
    ttr
    ustt
    hel
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Me:
    “I’
    m notsur
    ewhaty
    ou’
    ret
    ryi
    ngt
    osay
    .”

    Heslouchesov
    er,
    placeshi
    sar
    msont het
    ableandogl
    esint
    omyey
    es.I
    nti
    midat
    ed?Yes.
    Ther
    e’sawayhelooksatyout
    hatmakesyoufeel
    small
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Mbuso,
    Idon’
    twantt
    hatgi
    rlknowi
    ngAmar
    a’swher
    eabout
    s.”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouaski
    ngmet
    okeepasecr
    etf
    rom her
    ?”

    Hesmi
    rks.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m notaski
    ngMbuso,
    I’
    mtel
    l
    ingy
    ou.
    ”

    Me:
    “IfIsayno?
    ”

    Hesi
    tsbackandscr
    uti
    nizesmeunderani
    ntensegaze,
    ithasmef
    rowni
    ngasI
    ’
    m st
    ruggl
    i
    ngt
    o
    r
    eadhisexpr
    essi
    on.

    Randal
    l
    :“Idoubtt
    hat
    ’ssomet
    hingy
    ouwoul
    dli
    ket
    oknow.
    ”

    Sonofabi
    tch.

    Me:“Ican’
    tli
    etoher,
    wejustst
    art
    edsomet
    hinggr
    eat
    .Youshoul
    dunder
    standsi
    ncey
    ouhav
    e
    f
    all
    eninlove,your
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Randal
    l:
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmeshi
    t,Mbuso.Idon’
    twantt
    obet
    her
    easony
    ourf
    li
    ng,
    doesn’
    tmakei
    ttosi
    x
    months.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyout
    hreat
    eni
    ngme,
    Randal
    l
    ?”

    Heshakeshi
    sheadi
    ndeni
    al,
    thesmugbast
    ard.He’
    sdi
    shi
    ngoutt
    hreat
    s.
    Hedr
    opshi
    sey
    esont
    het
    abl
    e,IseeanA4br
    ownenv
    elop.

    Randal
    l
    :“Goahead,
    indul
    ge.
    ”

    Hepl
    aceshi
    spal
    m oni
    tandsl
    i
    desi
    tacr
    osst
    het
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “What
    ’si
    nthi
    s?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Openi
    t.
    ”

    Hesay
    s.

    Mycuri
    osi
    tycont
    rol
    smeasIf l
    i
    pitopen,t
    hecont
    ent
    sshakemywor l
    d.It
    ’spi
    ctur
    esof
    Nomasont
    o,she’
    swithal
    it
    tl
    eboyabouttheageoft
    hree.Idon’
    tunder
    standwhyhe’
    sshowi
    ng
    methi
    s.Coul
    dthi
    sbe?Irai
    semyey estohi
    m.

    Canhegetr
    idoft
    hatsmi
    rkonhi
    sface?

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    li
    sthi
    s?”

    Randal
    l
    :“That
    ’sy
    ourcol
    l
    egesweet
    hear
    t,y
    oudon’
    trememberher
    ?”

    Me:“Don’
    tpl
    aygameswit
    hmeRandal
    l
    .Whyar
    eyoushowi
    ngmet
    hesepi
    ctur
    es?WhatdoI
    hav
    et odowit
    hherandt
    hiski
    d?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Iknowi
    t’
    snotmypl
    acet
    otel
    lyoubut
    ,congr
    atul
    ati
    ons.You’
    reabi
    gbr
    other
    .”

    Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngar
    oundmecol
    l
    apses.Whatdoeshemeanbybi
    gbr
    other
    ?

    Me:
    “Wher
    edi
    dyougett
    his?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Ihav
    emyway
    s.”

    Me:
    “Woul
    dyoust
    opandt
    ell
    mewher
    eyougott
    his.
    ”

    Randal
    l:“
    Whathel
    pwi
    l
    lthatdoMbuso?Daddyhadanaffairwi
    thyourmi
    ssandababycameout
    ofthat
    .Iknowmommyisfr
    agil
    eandherhear
    twil
    lnotsurv
    ivet
    hisnews.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youwoul
    dn’
    tdar
    e.”

    Hescowl
    satme.

    Randall
    :“Idon’
    tpl
    ay,whenitcomestoAmara,tell
    i
    nghercousinaboutthi
    swillonl
    ybr
    ing
    tr
    ouble.Youknowwhatshewi ll
    do?Shewill
    leavey oubecauseyouli
    edtoher,
    thepoorgi
    rlhas
    beenthroughenoughalr
    eady.Acheat
    ingabusiveex,doyouthinkshewil
    lst
    aywi t
    hali
    ar?
    ”

    Me:
    “HowdoIknowt
    hatt
    hechi
    l
    dismyf
    ather
    ’s?I
    tcoul
    dbeany
    one’
    s.
    ”

    Randal
    l:
    “Youmi ssedapapert
    her
    e,r
    ightbet
    weenthoset
    wophotogr
    aphs.That’
    stheDNAt est
    ,
    i
    t’
    samat ch.Thelit
    tl
    emanisaXaba,Iwasshockedtooy
    ouknow.Whowoul d’
    vethoughtt
    hat
    Mr.Xabawould…”

    Me:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom me?
    ”

    Icuthi
    m of
    f,Ir
    espectmyf
    atherandknowi
    ngsuchabouthi
    m,makesmeseehi
    m di
    ff
    erent
    ly
    Randal
    lsneer
    satme,
    heenj
    oyst
    ort
    uri
    ngpeopl
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“Now,
    we’
    rer
    eachi
    ngacompr
    omi
    se.Keepy
    ourmout
    hshutaboutAmar
    ati
    l
    lIknow
    she’
    ssafe.
    ”

    Hecommands.

    Me:
    “DoneandI
    ’
    m keepi
    ngt
    hese.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Sui
    tyour
    sel
    fbut
    ,ifmommydear
    estf
    indst
    hem,
    what
    everhappenst
    oherwi
    l
    lbeon
    you.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thati
    sformet
    owor
    ryabout
    .”

    Ican’
    tleti
    thappen,
    shewil
    ldie.Iknowmyfatherhasawonder
    ingeye,he’
    shadaffai
    rsbef
    ore.I
    can’
    tgraspwhyhewouldgof ormyf or
    merl
    over,mymotherwon’
    tsurv
    ivethi
    s.Shelovest
    hat
    man,herwholeworldi
    sbui
    ltaroundhim.

    Randal
    l:
    “Okay,
    onemor
    ethi
    ng.Ther
    e’smor
    ewher
    ethatcamef
    rom,
    justi
    ncasey
    oudeci
    det
    o
    changeyourmi
    nd.
    ”

    Bast
    ard.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    hisRandal
    l
    ?”

    Randall
    :“Iwouldn’
    thav edoneit,i
    fyoudidn’
    tfal
    lforAmara’scousi
    n.You’reanhonestman
    Mbusoandy oucan’tli
    et osaveyourl
    if
    e.Amar aandmydaught er’
    slivesar
    eindanger,asl
    ong
    asMkhizeisoutt here,Ineedtodealwit
    hhimf ir
    st.Then,
    yourgir
    lf
    riendcanhavethefamil
    y
    reuni
    onshe’sbeendr eami ngof.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youknow,
    whatl
    yi
    ngt
    oherwi
    l
    ldot
    ous?
    ”

    Whyam Iaski
    nghi
    mthi
    s,hedoesn’
    tcar
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’m surey
    oucanmakeherseer
    eason,
    shemi
    ghtbeangr
    yadayort
    wobut
    ,she’
    l
    l
    comearound.”

    Hedoesn’
    tknowwhathe’
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    ,Lel
    owi
    l
    lnev
    ert
    rustmeagai
    n.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ihav
    etogo,
    thi
    swasni
    ce.Weshoul
    ddoi
    tagai
    n,l
    i
    keol
    dpal
    s.”

    Heexcl
    aimsbef
    orest
    ri
    dingaway
    .Ineedt
    ospeakt
    omyf
    ather
    ,thatol
    dshamel
    essbast
    ard.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    84*

    STYLES*

    Igethomear ound9pm tofindNeoont hecouch,l


    yi
    ngonhi sback.Hehasawett owel
    overhi
    s
    faceandli
    keal ways,he’
    st-
    shir
    tl
    ess.Ibangthedoorshut
    ,togethisatt
    ent
    ion.Hejumpsupin
    fri
    ght
    ,ter
    rorplaster
    edonhisface.Heeaseswhenheseesme, standi
    ngbeforehi
    m.

    Me:
    “It
    hinkImi
    ghtst
    opcomi
    nghome,
    ift
    hisi
    swhatIwi
    l
    lfi
    nd.
    ”

    Herel
    easesadeepsighashel
    iesbackdown,i
    ttell
    smet hatsomethi
    ngi
    snotokay
    .Neoi
    s
    al
    waysjol
    ly
    ,not
    hingcanbri
    nghim down.Youl
    i
    teral
    lyhav
    et oworkhardf
    ori
    t.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Neo:
    “Ei
    shSt
    ylos,
    Tshi
    diwant
    stokeepmychi
    l
    dawayf
    rom me.
    ”

    Hi
    swor
    dshav
    emyey
    eswi
    deni
    ngi
    nshock,
    Neol
    oveshi
    schi
    l
    d.Hewoul
    ddi
    efort
    hatl
    i
    ttl
    eboy
    .

    Me:
    “Shecan’
    tdot
    hat
    .”

    Neo:
    “Shecan,
    she’
    sthemot
    her
    .”

    Hest
    atesi
    nasad,
    lowt
    one.

    Me:
    “Whydoesshewantt
    odot
    his?
    ”

    Hehuf
    fsasher
    emov
    est
    het
    owel
    from hi
    sface,
    he’
    sbeencr
    ying.Hi
    sey
    esar
    ered.

    Neo:
    “Mosadi
    oubat
    lachel
    ete.
    ”(Thatwomanwant
    smoney
    .)

    Me:
    “Neo,
    youhav
    etopaymai
    ntenance,
    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nky
    ouwoul
    dbet
    hisi
    rr
    esponsi
    ble.
    ”

    Neo:“Ipaypapgel
    dev
    erymonthwit
    houtf
    ail
    Stylos,
    Iworkmyassoffformyson.Ido
    ever
    ythingf
    orhi
    m,maraTshi
    diubat
    lamore.
    ”(Ipaymaint
    enance,
    butTshi
    diwantsmore.
    )

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tunder
    standNeo,
    shecan’
    tdot
    hist
    oyou.
    ”

    Thenagai
    n,Tshi
    dii
    sascrazyastheyget
    .Sheonceover
    dosedt
    hechil
    dwit
    hcoughmedici
    ne
    j
    usttogetNeo’
    satt
    ent
    ion,shecal
    ledhi
    mi nt
    hemiddl
    eoftheni
    ght
    ,sayi
    ngthebabywassi
    ck.

    Neo: “
    There’snothingIcandoSt y
    los,Ihavet
    ogotoPretori
    ainthemorni
    ng.Shesaidt
    hat
    ,she’
    s
    taki
    nghimt ohermot heri
    nP.E.Tshidiutl
    onyel
    akeaujoetsa.Thi
    sisnott
    hefir
    stti
    meStyl
    os.
    Tellme,howdoIdeal wi
    ththi
    s?Iam tir
    edofhavi
    ngtobeghert oseemyson.Didshemake
    thatchil
    dalone?Ihav eneverseenawomangether sel
    fpregnant,
    marawit
    hTshidiany
    thi
    ngis
    possibl
    e.”(Tshi
    di wil
    lpay,I
    ’
    mt el
    li
    ngy ou.)

    Att
    heendoft
    heday
    ,hei
    sst
    il
    lNeo.Hi
    sper
    sonal
    i
    tyi
    ssomet
    hingel
    se.

    Ihav
    etohi
    ndermy
    sel
    ffr
    om l
    aughi
    ng.
    Me:“Youcanf
    ightf
    orcust
    ody
    ,pr
    ovet
    hatshei
    snotagoodmot
    her
    .Thecour
    twi
    l
    lrul
    einy
    our
    f
    avour.
    ”

    Herubshi
    sheadashemul
    l
    sov
    ermywor
    ds.Ibr
    ingmy
    sel
    fdownonaoneseat
    er,
    Iwi
    sht
    her
    e
    wasawaytohelphi
    m.

    Neo:“That
    ’sagoodideabut,mychil
    dneedshi
    smother
    .Idon’twanthimtogrowupwi t
    houther
    St
    ylos.Igr
    ewupwithoutaf at
    herandIknowhowi
    tfeel
    stocravefortheot
    herhal
    f.Idon’
    twant
    mysont ogothr
    ought hat
    .”

    Iknowv
    erywel
    lwhathe’
    stal
    ki
    ngabout
    .Igr
    ewupwi
    thoutbot
    hpar
    ent
    s.

    Me:
    “Gi
    vehert
    hemoneyt
    hen,
    ther
    e’snoot
    herway
    .”

    Neo:
    “Yoh,
    tenst
    inaev
    erymont
    h.Wher
    ewi
    l
    lIgett
    hatki
    ndofmoney
    ?”(
    Tent
    housand.
    )

    Ial
    mostchokeonmyspi
    tashement
    ionst
    his.

    Me:
    “Thatwomanhasl
    osthermi
    nd.
    ”

    Neo:“Shelosthermindalongtimeago, haketsebehorenekeet sanghakerobolaleeena.I


    musthav ebeendrunkthatdaybecausehakemoshebanou, Iaskmy sel
    fdi
    dIreal
    lytakeoff
    myclothesforthatf
    ool.Ait
    loft
    lofemonat iSt
    ylosbutithasit
    sconsequences.
    ”(Idon’tknow
    whatIwasdoi ngwhenIsleptwithher.
    )(WhenIl ookathernow.)(Sexisni
    ceSt
    y l
    es.)

    Ihav
    ehear
    dmor
    ethanenough,
    mypoorear
    s.

    Me:
    “Fucky
    ouNeo,
    you’
    rer
    eveal
    i
    ngt
    oomuchman.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    esashel
    ooksatme.

    Neo:
    “HauSt
    ylos,
    we’
    rebot
    hadul
    tsher
    e.”

    Her
    etor
    ts,
    wit
    haconf
    usedl
    ook.Her
    eal
    l
    ydoesn’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngwr
    ongwi
    thwhathej
    ustsai
    d.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    llett
    hissl
    i
    debecausey
    ou’
    resad.
    ”

    Hel
    i
    esbackont
    hecouch.

    Neo:
    “Ei
    sh,
    bophel
    obakabof
    edi
    l
    e.”(
    Myl
    i
    fei
    sov
    er.
    )

    He’
    sexagger
    ati
    ngi
    tabi
    t.

    Me:
    “Yourl
    i
    fei
    snotov
    erNeo.
    ”

    Neo:“
    Iti
    sSty
    los,
    tenst
    ina?Wher
    ewi
    l
    lIgett
    hat
    ?Mycompanybar
    elymakesenough.
    ”(Ten
    t
    housand.
    )

    Me:
    “May
    beIcanhel
    p.”

    Heswi
    ft
    lyj
    umpsandscowl
    satme.

    Neo:
    “That
    ’swhyKhet
    hui
    sli
    ket
    hat
    ,it
    ’st
    hatst
    upi
    dsof
    thear
    tofy
    our
    s.”

    I
    nsul
    ts?Real
    l
    y?
    Me:
    “I’
    m of
    fer
    ingmyhel
    pandy
    out
    rashmyhear
    t?”

    Neo:“No,
    notatal
    l
    .Sty
    los,
    youwanttogi
    veTshiditent
    housand.Thatwomanhasaboyfri
    end.
    Doyouknowwhattheywil
    ldowi
    ththatmoney
    ?I t
    ’snotfort
    hebaby,it
    ’sf
    orherandt
    hatugly
    pi
    g.”

    Me:“
    Iwasn’
    tgoingtogivehermoney
    ,may
    becometoanagr eementwi
    thher
    .Tshi
    dimusthav
    e
    adar
    kpastNeo.There’
    ssomethi
    ngwecanuseagai
    nsther
    ,surel
    y.
    ”

    Hef
    rownsatt
    hesoundofmywor
    ds,
    I’
    m notcer
    tai
    nifhel
    i
    kest
    hei
    dea.

    Neo:
    “I’
    l
    lhav
    eal
    ooki
    ntoi
    t,Ist
    il
    lhav
    etogoandst
    opher
    ,fr
    om t
    aki
    ngmysonaway
    .”

    Me:
    “Dot
    hat
    ,youhav
    eri
    ght
    sov
    erhi
    m ashi
    sfat
    her
    ,asmuchasshedoes.
    ”

    Neodoesn’
    tdeser
    veanyoft
    his,
    ifTshi
    didoesn’
    tfal
    ter
    ,Iwi
    l
    lhav
    etot
    akemat
    ter
    sint
    omyown
    hands.

    Neo:“Wheredi
    dyougoStylos?Ididn’
    tcook,
    youknowIcanonl
    ymakepapandI ’
    mt i
    redof
    eati
    ngamasibecausewenay oucomehomewi thaful
    lst
    omach.Youdon'
    tbot
    hertobringme
    food.
    ”(Sourmi
    lk.
    )

    He’
    sbackt
    ohi
    scr
    azysel
    f.

    RANDALL*

    Iwal
    kint
    heroom tof
    indAmaraseatedonthebed,
    she’
    sal
    readyi
    nherni
    ghtwear
    .Herf
    ace
    car
    ri
    esaghostofasmil
    eassheglancesupatme.

    Me:
    “Hey
    .”

    Amar
    a:“
    You’
    reback?
    ”

    Me:
    “Canwet
    alk?
    ”

    Ipl
    acemy
    sel
    fbef
    oreher
    .

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmehowy
    ouf
    eel
    aboutnotseei
    ngy
    ourf
    ami
    l
    y?”

    Amara:“
    Well
    ,It
    hinkaboutt
    hem ev
    eryday
    ,especi
    all
    yLel
    o.Shewasmybestf
    ri
    endandIcan’
    t
    expr
    esshowmuchImi ssher.
    ”

    Thi
    spr
    ovesmer
    ight
    ,shecr
    avest
    oseet
    hem agai
    n.

    Me:
    “Youraunt
    ?Tel
    lmeabouther
    .”

    Mysuddeni
    nter
    esti
    nherf
    ami
    l
    y,hasherf
    rowni
    ngi
    nconf
    usi
    on.

    Amara:
    “Auntwashardl
    yathome,she’
    sanurse.I
    twasmost
    lyLel
    oandIandmyuncl
    e.Imiss
    hert
    oothough,
    she’
    sthecl
    osestt
    hingIhav
    et oamother
    .Ar
    eyousur
    eIcan’
    tmeetupwit
    h
    t
    hem?
    ”

    Thedesper
    ati
    oni
    nherv
    oicewor
    ri
    esme.

    Me:“Youwill
    seet
    hem soon,
    Mkhi
    zei
    sav
    erysmar
    tman.Wecannotunder
    est
    imat
    ehi
    m,he’
    s
    ver
    ydevious.
    ”

    HowdoItel
    lhert
    hat
    ,I’
    m bei
    ngself
    ishwit
    hher?Amaradoesn’
    texpressher
    sel
    fmuch,
    her
    shy
    nessst
    il
    lhol
    dspoweroverher
    .I’
    m notsur
    eaboutherf
    eeli
    ngstowardsme.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a,t
    hisi
    saf
    ir
    stf
    ormey
    ou,
    know?
    ”

    Amar
    a:“
    What
    ?”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sthi
    ng.
    ”

    Shef
    rownsatme,
    I’
    m cl
    ear
    lynotmaki
    ngsense.HowdoIsayt
    his?

    Me:
    “Myhear
    tfeel
    sthi
    ngsIam notf
    ami
    l
    iarwi
    th.
    ”

    Amar
    a:“
    Likel
    ove?
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    texpecthert
    osaythis,
    Ihav
    ealwayssway edawayfr
    om t
    histopicwhenSt
    yleswoul
    d
    bri
    ngi
    tup.Todayiti
    sst
    aringatmeinthefaceandther
    eisnoescapingit
    .

    Amara:
    “Youseem t
    obecluel
    essast owhatl
    oveisMr.Okol
    i
    e,y
    ou’
    redi
    ff
    erent
    .Youexpr
    ess
    your
    sel
    fphysi
    cal
    l
    ywhil
    e,normalpeopleusewor
    ds.”

    Shespeaksi
    nasof
    tvoi
    ce.

    Amar a:“Loveismor ethanjustbei nginterestedinsomeonephy sical


    ly,
    it’
    sanemot ional
    attachment.Lelowasdat ingt hi
    sguy ,shespokeabouthi m al
    l t
    het i
    me.Someday sIwoul dfall
    asleepwhi l
    e,sherecit
    esherdayt odayl if
    ewi thhim.Therewast hissparkinherey es,whenshe
    ment i
    onedhi sname.Shel ov edhim.Iwasobl i
    vi
    oustothefeeli
    ngandt hewor ditself.Iknewit
    from herandshewoul dtellmet hatloveist wosided,youbothneedt obeont heboatandshar e
    thestir
    ri
    ngwheel .Youcan’ tbetoodemandi ngandy ouneedtounder st
    andt hatyourpar tner
    hadal i
    febef or
    ey oucameandaski ngthem t ogivei
    tupisselfi
    sh.”

    Isi
    ghasIseeherpoi
    nt,
    mysel
    fi
    shnesscont
    rol
    sme.

    Me:“IguessIam self
    ish,
    Iam sel
    fi
    shwi
    thy
    ouAmar
    a.I
    tbot
    her
    smet
    hat
    ,wheny
    oumeett
    hem
    youwill
    forgetaboutme.”

    Iut
    terasIj
    ust
    if
    ymygr
    eed,
    shet
    akesmyhandi
    ntoher
    s.

    Amara:“
    HowcanIf
    orgett
    heoneper
    sonwhohaschangedmyl
    i
    fe?I
    sitev
    enpossi
    blef
    ormet
    o
    for
    gett
    heonewhohasmyheart
    ?”

    WhenIfir
    stsawAmara,shegavet
    hei
    mpressi
    onofadeli
    cat
    eandfr
    ail
    soul.Imusthav
    e
    mi
    sjudgedher,
    hert
    rueselfl
    eav
    esmeindi
    sbeli
    efeacht
    imeiti
    srev
    ealed.

    Iam t
    akenbyherconfessi
    on,whi
    leas,Ican’
    tbr
    ingmy
    sel
    ftoexpr
    essmyf
    eel
    i
    ngs.Iscootcl
    oser
    toher
    ,ter
    minat
    ingthedist
    ancebetweenus.
    Amar
    a:“
    Wej
    ustspokeaboutt
    his.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    thel
    pit
    ,youdot
    hingst
    ome.
    ”

    Myr
    esponse,
    asIpul
    lheral
    i
    ttl
    ecl
    oser
    .

    “
    Arey
    ouguy
    sdr
    essed?CanIcomei
    n?”

    If
    e’svoi
    cestopsmeasI
    ’
    m aboutt
    ocl
    aim Amar
    a’sl
    i
    ps,
    Irunmyey
    est
    oherandshehast
    his
    smileonherface.

    Me:
    “You’
    resmi
    l
    ing?Thegi
    rlhasbadt
    imi
    ng.
    ”

    Shet
    wit
    ter
    s.

    Amar
    a:“
    Shecal
    l
    sitper
    fectt
    imi
    ngi
    nherwor
    ld,
    andwear
    e,i
    nIf
    e’swor
    ld.
    ”

    Ishakemyheadatherwor
    ds.

    I
    fe:
    “Ar
    eyoudr
    essedy
    et?I
    ’
    mti
    redofcov
    eri
    ngmyey
    es.
    ”

    Herstupidst
    atementi
    saccompaniedbyagiggl
    e,t
    hischi
    ldref
    usestoseemehappy .Itur
    nto
    glanceather
    ,she’
    sstandingatt
    hedoorwi
    thherhandoverhereyes,
    Ihaveneverseensuch
    crazi
    nessinmylif
    e.There’sabi
    tofmymotheri
    nherandsomehowherpr esenceinthi
    shouse
    easesmyhear t
    .

    Me:
    “Myf
    ri
    endr
    emov
    ethathand,
    youdecr
    aze.
    ”(Ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?)

    Sher
    api
    dlyr
    emov
    esi
    tandherj
    awdr
    opsi
    nst
    ant
    ly.

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    other
    ?Youcanspeakpi
    dgi
    n?”

    TheshockinhervoicehasAmar
    alaughi
    ng,
    Ifet
    oddl
    es,
    asof
    tlaughescapi
    nghermout
    hwi
    th
    ever
    ystepshetakes.

    Me:
    “Neot
    aughtme.
    ”

    Thatmanspeakspi
    dgi
    nli
    kei
    t’
    shi
    ssecondl
    anguage,
    hei
    ssmar
    tli
    ket
    hat
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Neoi
    sthatcut
    eguyr
    ight
    ?”

    She’
    sst
    art
    ing.

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    lnotj
    ust
    if
    yyourst
    upi
    dquest
    ionwi
    thananswer
    .”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Amar
    a:“
    Yes,
    Neoi
    sthecut
    eone.
    ”

    Amar
    ajumpsi
    nwi
    thanamusedt
    one,
    shesmi
    l
    esandshr
    ugshershoul
    der
    swhenIgl
    anceather
    .

    Amar
    a:“
    If
    esai
    dit
    ,notme,
    Iwasj
    ust
    …”
    If
    e:“
    No,
    youdidn’
    tsayanyt
    hingwrongAmara.Br
    otherneedst
    oknowt
    hat
    ,wear
    ewomen,
    we
    see,
    weappr
    eciat
    eandifpossi
    ble,
    wetouch.
    ”

    Shest
    ates.

    Howdoesshehol
    dahappynot
    eal
    lthet
    ime?Iwi
    shIwasf
    ree-
    spi
    ri
    tedasher
    ,wi
    thnocar
    ein
    t
    heworl
    d.

    Me: “
    Well,y
    oubot
    hneedt
    oknowt
    hatwheny
    out
    ouch,
    youwi
    l
    llosey
    ourf
    inger
    sandi
    fpossi
    ble
    yourli
    fe.
    ”

    Theyl
    augh.

    I
    fe:
    “Wewi
    l
    ldi
    ehappywoment
    hen.
    ”

    ShouldIbewor ri
    edaboutherragi
    nghormones,Segunandmotherar
    etoof ocusedwi t
    ht hei
    r
    l
    ives.Itmakesmewonderi ftheyr
    aisedthi
    schi
    l
    dr i
    ght,
    Ihopetheydi
    dn’tnegl
    ecther.Ifeanyii
    s
    goodathi di
    ngheremotions.Shehidesbehi
    ndt
    hatbubblyper
    sonal
    it
    y.Iknowonet hingt hough,
    Iwill
    pr ot
    ectherwit
    hmyl i
    fe.

    I
    fe:“Though,Ipref
    erSt
    yles.Ishoul
    d’v
    ecomet
    othecount
    rysooner
    .Hecanbemyi
    nst
    abae,
    I
    wil
    ldresshim and…”

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,Iwi
    l
    lst
    it
    cht
    hatmout
    htoget
    herandy
    ouwi
    l
    lnev
    ersayanot
    herwor
    dagai
    n.”

    Hermout
    hfli
    esopen,bef
    oreshesmashesherhandoni
    t.Amarai
    sencour
    agi
    ngI
    fe’
    scr
    azi
    ness
    wit
    hherl
    aughter
    .Ij
    erkupwhenAmarascreamsanddashest
    owardsI
    fe.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Amar
    a:“
    Ther
    e’ssomet
    hingont
    hebed.
    ”

    Sher
    espondsi
    npani
    c.

    I
    fepeeksov
    erandgasps.

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    other
    ,somet
    hingi
    smov
    ingundert
    hesheet
    s.”

    Theybothlookalarmed,
    Itakeaglanceandseei
    t.Scr
    eamser
    uptf
    rom t
    hei
    rmout
    hswhenIpul
    l
    thesheet
    s,reveal
    ingagreensnake.

    Me:
    “St
    epback.
    ”

    Ii
    nst
    ructasIt
    osst
    hesheetbackont
    hebed,
    tocov
    ert
    hesnake.

    I
    fe:
    “Howdi
    dasnakegether
    e?”

    Amar
    a:“
    I’
    vebeensi
    tt
    ingont
    hatbedf
    orov
    ert
    hir
    tymi
    nut
    es.
    ”

    Shepr
    ocl
    aimsi
    nagasp,
    asshecl
    i
    ngsont
    oIf
    e.

    Me:
    “Whowasher
    e?”

    Theygl
    areateachot
    her
    ,wor
    dsunspokenbutt
    hei
    rey
    essayenough.
    Me:
    “Someonewasher
    e.Whowasi
    t?”

    I
    fe:
    “Rav
    enbut
    ,Idoubtheent
    eredt
    her
    oom.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dhewant
    ?”

    Theyexchanget
    hegl
    anceagai
    n.

    I
    fe:
    “Hesai
    dagy
    awant
    stoseey
    ou.
    ”(Fat
    her
    .)

    Iknowt
    heyar
    econceal
    i
    ngsomet
    hingf
    rom me.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a,t
    ell
    mewhatRav
    enwant
    ed.
    ”

    Sheopenshermout
    htospeakbut
    ,If
    enudgesher
    .

    Me:
    “Isawt
    hatI
    feany
    i.Look,
    ther
    e’sasnakei
    nthi
    sroom andsomeoneputi
    ther
    e.”

    Thi
    sisaguestroom andRav
    endoesn’
    tknowthatIshar
    earoom wi
    thAmar
    a.I
    tcoul
    dbet
    hat
    Segunsenthi
    m.Iknowmybr ot
    her
    ,hewil
    lnev
    erdot hi
    stome.

    I
    fe:“
    Brot
    her,
    Ravenwasangr
    y.Hesai
    dalotofthi
    ngsandthaty
    ouneedtostopstr
    essi
    nghi
    s
    f
    ather
    .Apparent
    ly,
    hebl
    amesAmarafory
    ourbehavi
    ourt
    owardsagy
    a.”(
    Father
    .)

    Me:
    “Youguy
    sgetoutofher
    e,Iwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eoft
    his.
    ”

    Iwat
    cht
    hem ast
    heyt
    urnt
    owal
    kaway
    .

    Me:
    “Amar
    a.”

    Sheswi
    vel
    s.

    Isaunt
    ert
    oherandf
    ramehercheekswi
    thmypal
    ms.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    Amar
    a:“
    Yes,
    I’
    mfi
    ne.Youshoul
    dbecar
    eful
    .”

    Ipeckherl
    i
    psbef
    oregest
    uri
    ngt
    hat
    ,theyl
    eav
    e.I
    t’
    sti
    meIpaySegunav
    isi
    t.

    MBUSO*

    I
    nsomni
    ahasdeci
    dedt
    opaymeav
    isi
    ttoni
    ght
    ,mymi
    ndi
    sdi
    sar
    ray
    ed.Myf
    ather
    ’sdi
    sgust
    ing
    act
    sar
    ekeepi
    ngmyheadbusy
    .

    Leloissleepingpeacefulnexttome, youwouldswearthatshehasnocar eintheworl


    d.These
    tri
    alswe’regoingthroughcannotbei nvai
    n,somethi
    nghast opayoff.Ihopewewi l
    lmakeitti
    l
    l
    theend.Zodwa’ swor dshaven’tl
    eftme.ShesaidIwil
    ll
    eav eLel
    ooneday ,itseemsi
    mpossible
    from t
    hisv i
    ew.HowcanIl eavetheonlyper
    sonwhomakesmef eel
    alive?

    Thef
    actt
    hatZumal
    oveshermakesmybl
    oodboi
    l
    ,hecan’
    thav
    elov
    einhi
    shear
    tfort
    his
    woman,
    notaf
    terwhathedi
    dtoher
    .IswearIwi
    l
    lpr
    otectherf
    rom hi
    m.

    WearesettoseeZodwainthr
    eedays,
    thi
    swil
    lbebeforeshemeetsLel
    o’sf
    ami
    ly
    .Itur
    nt o
    gl
    anceatLel
    oasshetossesandtur
    nsonthebed,
    itappearst
    hatshe’
    shavi
    ngabaddream.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o.”

    Inudgeher,
    shestops.I
    tmustbeov er
    , Itur
    ntoswi
    tchonthebedsi
    delamp.It
    hinkI’
    m not
    seeingcl
    ear
    ly,
    herbodyisvi
    brat
    ing.I
    t’
    st oosubt
    let
    oseeso,Izoom i
    nalit
    tl
    ecl
    oser.Acrease
    formsonhersweatyfor
    eheadassher eleasesl
    i
    ghtmoans.She’
    sfi
    ghti
    ngsomethi
    nginher
    dream.

    Me:
    “Lel
    owakeup.
    ”

    Ishr
    ugherhar
    dert
    hist
    ime,
    inst
    eadshet
    ossesandt
    urns.I
    tcan’
    tbet
    hatwomanagai
    n,Ihav
    e
    haditwi
    thher
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso!
    !!
    ”

    Sheshout
    sasshej
    erksupf
    rom t
    hebed.

    Me:
    “I’
    m her
    eLel
    o.”

    Irubherbackatthi
    sdecl
    arat
    ion.Herbr
    eat
    hingqui
    ckensandfeart
    akesov erherf
    ace,
    tear
    s
    threat
    enhereyes.Hermi
    ndistell
    i
    nghersomethi
    nganditdoesn’
    tlookgood.

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso,
    tur
    nont
    hel
    i
    ght
    .It
    ’st
    oodar
    k,Ican’
    tseeany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Herdi
    sembodi
    edv
    oiceswooshest
    hroughmyear
    s,causi
    ngconf
    usi
    oni
    nmymi
    nd.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o,t
    hel
    i
    ghti
    son.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Whyi
    sitdar
    kthen?Mbuso,
    whyi
    sitdar
    k?”

    Hervoicesquav er
    sinter
    rorandshock,thi
    scan’tbe.Ikneelbeforeher,
    tear
    st or
    rentdownher
    cheeks,reveal
    ingthel
    evelofherf
    ear.Herquickbreathesheighten,
    sheflai
    l
    sherar msinsear
    ch
    ofme.It akethem ast
    heyf i
    ndmyf ace,
    thi
    sinducesherpani c.Shegraspsthathereyesi
    ght
    haslefther.

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso.
    ”

    Shecr
    ies.

    Mbuso:
    “Lel
    ocal
    m down,
    Ineedy
    out
    ocal
    m.”

    Lel
    o:“
    Ican’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngMbuso.Whycan’
    tIseeany
    thi
    ng?
    ”

    Herf
    inger
    sdesper
    atel
    yfal
    lonherey
    es,
    vigor
    ousl
    yrubbi
    ngt
    hem.Igr
    abherhandst
    ost
    opher
    .

    Me:
    “Lel
    ocal
    m downpl
    ease.
    ”

    Ir
    aisemyv
    oice.I
    ’
    m al
    sot
    err
    if
    iedbut
    ,Ican’
    tlosei
    tnow,
    notwhensheneedsme.

    Shet
    akesi
    tdownabi
    tbut
    ,pani
    cst
    il
    lcl
    aimsherf
    ace.
    Me:
    “Cl
    osey
    ourey
    esf
    ormel
    ove.
    ”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    Ifr
    ameherf
    acei
    nmyhands.

    Me:
    “Ineedy
    out
    owor
    kwi
    thmeLel
    o,I
    ’
    m her
    e.”

    Shesl
    owl
    ycl
    osest
    hem,
    Idoacount
    downf
    rom f
    ive.

    Me:
    “Opent
    hem.
    ”

    Lor
    dlett
    hiswor
    k,anxi
    ousl
    yIgl
    anceather
    ,hopi
    ngf
    ort
    hebest
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Ican’
    tseeany
    thi
    ng,
    Ican’
    tsee,
    Mbuso.
    ”

    Shecr
    iesl
    oudl
    ythi
    sti
    me.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,li
    sten.I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    ogetmybagso,
    Icanchecky
    ourey
    es,
    okay
    ?”

    Herhandf
    indsmi
    neasshegr
    ipsi
    t,sheshakesherhead.

    Me: “
    Lel
    o,Iknowy
    ou’
    rescar
    ed.Iwon’
    tleav
    ether
    oom,
    it’
    sint
    hewar
    drobe.I
    twi
    l
    lonl
    ytakea
    second.
    ”

    Shegraduall
    yletsgo,shehasn’
    tstoppedcr
    ying.Igr
    abt
    hesl
    itl
    ampandr ushbacktoher
    ,she
    fi
    ndsmyhandagai nashefeelst
    hebedmov ing.Thi
    swomanisst
    rong,
    any onewoul
    dbegoing
    crazyatt
    hisrevelat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    m goi
    ngt
    oinspecty
    ourey
    es.
    ”

    Shenods,
    whilesheswipesherhandoverherf
    ace,wi
    pingthet
    earst
    hathavetakenoverher
    pl
    umpcheeks.I’
    m notaneyedoctorbut
    ,Iseenot
    hingwrongwit
    hhereyes.Theyareperf
    ect
    ly
    fi
    ne,
    hersuddenbli
    ndnesscomesasashock.

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso?Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Heri
    mpat
    iencespeaksouti
    nal
    owdesper
    atet
    one.

    Me:
    “Uhh…Ther
    e’snot
    hingwr
    ong,
    wit
    hyourey
    es.
    ”

    Ispewoutt
    hewor
    ds,
    anxi
    etyt
    arget
    sheragai
    n.

    Lel
    o:“
    Then,
    whati
    swr
    ongwi
    thme?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowLel
    o.”

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbusoy
    ou’
    ret
    hedoct
    or,
    dosomet
    hing.
    ”

    Shescream cri
    esassheshakesmyhand,
    myhear
    tbr
    eaksf
    orher
    .Thi
    scoul
    dbet
    hatwoman,
    ther
    e’snootherexpl
    anat
    ion.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o,wehav
    etogot
    othehospi
    tal
    .”

    Lel
    o:“
    Whatwi
    l
    ltheydof
    ormet
    her
    eMbuso,
    yousai
    dmyey
    esar
    eper
    fect
    lyf
    ine.
    ”

    Me:
    “Weneedt
    ocal
    lZodwa.
    ”
    Iof
    fer
    .

    I
    fmypr
    edi
    cti
    onsar
    eri
    ghtt
    hen,
    Zodwawi
    l
    lhel
    pLel
    o.

    Lel
    o:“
    Yout
    hinki
    t’
    sher
    ,shedi
    dthi
    stome?
    ”

    Isensepai
    nandhur
    tinherv
    oice.

    Me:
    “I’
    mthi
    nki
    ngoutoft
    hebox.
    ”

    Shest
    if
    lessobsast
    ear
    scont
    inuet
    ost
    reakdownherf
    ace.

    Lel
    o:“
    It
    ’snotf
    airMbuso.Whatdi
    dIdotothatwoman?Wetrustadul
    tsbecauset
    heyaremeant
    tol
    ookaft
    erus.Whatdowedowhent heytur
    nonusli
    ket
    his?IgrewupinherpresenceMbuso.
    Whyisshesobentonhurt
    ingme?”

    Hercri
    esl
    eav
    eme,
    feel
    i
    ngweak.Iwantt
    opr
    otectherf
    rom al
    lthebadt
    hingst
    hiswor
    ldhast
    o
    of
    fer.

    Me:“
    Thi
    swi
    l
    lpassLel
    o,i
    fiti
    sacur
    se,
    youwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Ipr
    omi
    se,
    Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ghtt
    hisbat
    tl
    ewi
    thy
    ou,
    l
    ove.
    ”

    Iassur
    eher,
    pull
    ingheri
    ntomyar
    ms.Myphoneri
    ngs,
    Lel
    ohol
    dsontomewhenItryt
    ogr
    abi
    t.
    Hercri
    eshaveoccupi
    edthi
    sbedr
    oom,
    ift
    herewasawaytomakeherst
    opIwoul
    d.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o,l
    etmegett
    hephone.
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowi
    fit
    ’smysi
    xthsensebut
    ,somet
    hingur
    gesmet
    oanswert
    hecal
    l
    .

    Shebr
    eaksoutoft
    hehugsl
    owl
    y,herhandt
    hough,
    ref
    usest
    oletgoofmi
    ne.

    Thi
    ngsar
    eget
    ti
    ngst
    rangerbyt
    hemoment
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’smam Zodwa.
    ”

    IannounceasIanswerandputheronspeaker
    ,Lel
    oaccept
    sar
    est
    lessexpr
    essi
    on.

    Me:
    “Mam’
    Zodwa?
    ”

    Zodwa:“Mbuso,
    whathashappenedt
    othatchi
    l
    d?Ihear
    dav
    oicet
    ell
    i
    ngmet
    owakeupandpr
    ay
    forher
    .”

    Shest
    ates,
    Lel
    olooksasshockedasIam.

    Mbuso:
    “Mam ‘
    Zodwa,
    Lel
    ohasl
    ostherey
    esi
    ght
    .”

    Zodwa:
    “Wher
    eisshe?
    ”

    Me:
    “She’
    sher
    e.”

    Myey
    esar
    ekeptonher
    ,Ihat
    ethef
    earandpai
    nthathasengul
    fedher
    .

    Zodwa:“Lel
    o,mychil
    d.Youarenotalone,someoneupthereisl
    ookingaft
    eryou.Youwil
    lcome
    outvi
    ctori
    ous,y
    ourenemieswil
    lnotdanceony ourgr
    avebecauseyouwi l
    ll
    iv
    eandnotdie.
    Shamewi l
    lnotknowyoumychild,i
    twillembraceonl
    yyourenemies.Takehear
    tthat
    ,youare
    notal
    one,
    someonei
    sfi
    ght
    ingf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Zodwa’
    swor
    dsbr
    ingheri
    ntoar
    iveroft
    ear
    s,It
    akeherhandi
    nmi
    ne.

    Me:
    “Whatshoul
    dwedomam’
    Zodwa?Lel
    oist
    err
    if
    ied,
    pleasehel
    pus.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso,
    myey
    esar
    eonf
    ir
    e,myey
    esar
    ebur
    ning.
    ”

    Shescr
    eams,
    whi
    l
    erubbi
    ngherey
    es.

    Zodwa:
    “Theenemyi
    sfi
    ght
    ing,
    theyknowt
    haty
    ouar
    eawar
    eoft
    het
    rut
    h.”

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbusohel
    pme,
    please.
    ”

    Shescr
    eams.

    Dammi
    t!
    !!Igr
    abt
    hegl
    assofwat
    eront
    hebedsi
    deandbegi
    ntospl
    ashi
    tov
    erherey
    es.

    Zodwa:
    “Mbusodi
    dyoubuyt
    hewhi
    tecl
    oth?
    ”

    Me:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Zodwa:
    “Takei
    tnowandpl
    acei
    tov
    erherhead,
    Iwi
    l
    lpr
    ayf
    orher
    .”

    Ij
    umpandr ushtothedrawer,myheartbr
    eakseacht
    imeLelo’
    spainfulcri
    esfi
    ll
    myears.She’
    s
    l
    yingonthebednow, herhandspr
    essedonhereyes,
    tossi
    ngandturning.Zodwapr
    oceedsto
    comfor
    therwithherwords.

    Isi
    tupasobbi
    ngLel
    oandpl
    acet
    hecl
    othov
    erherhead.

    Me:
    “I’
    m donemam’
    Zodwa.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso.
    ”

    Mynamedesper
    atel
    yescapeshermout
    hinapai
    nful
    sob.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    obeokayLel
    o,y
    ou’
    regoi
    ngt
    obeokay
    .”

    Idon’
    tknowifitwil
    lbeokay
    ,myhopehasbeshat
    ter
    edbyherhear
    twr
    enchi
    ngcri
    es.
    Comfort
    ingherisal
    lIcando.Asadoct
    or,
    Ihav
    enevercometoaposi
    ti
    onwher
    eIfel
    tusel
    ess.

    Zodwa:
    “Pl
    acebot
    hyourhandsonherhead,
    Iwi
    l
    lpr
    aynow.
    ”

    Idoasshesay s,
    theur
    getoholdLel
    oinmyarmshasescal
    ated.Ineedhertobeokay
    .Howcan
    onegothroughsomuchinli
    fe?Ist
    hist
    hepr
    iceshehastopayforherparent
    s?Whatabouther
    i
    nnocence?

    Sheisonl
    yachildwhoisst
    il
    ldi
    scov
    eri
    ngher
    sel
    f.Iwi
    l
    lmakesur
    eshedoesn’
    tshedanyt
    ear
    s
    aft
    eral
    lofthi
    sisover
    .

    Weagr
    eewi
    thZodwawhenshe’
    sdone.

    Zodwa:“
    Youcanr
    emov
    ethecl
    othbut
    ,pl
    acei
    tonherpi
    l
    lowwhenshesl
    eeps.Howar
    eyour
    eyesLel
    o?”
    Lel
    o:“
    Ther
    e’sani
    rr
    it
    ati
    onbut
    ,thef
    ir
    eisgone.
    ”

    Sher
    espondsi
    nahuskyt
    oneasherv
    oicet
    ri
    est
    orecov
    erf
    rom t
    hatgr
    uel
    l
    ingcr
    yingmar
    athon.

    Zodwa:“
    Youwon’
    tregainyoursi
    ghtnow, i
    tcoul
    dbeinthemorni
    ng.I
    fyouwakeupl
    i
    ket
    his,
    cometomefi
    rstt
    hing.Don’twonderaboutbut,
    cometomefir
    st.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,butwi
    l
    lshebeokay
    .”

    Igl
    anceatherasshesni
    ff
    saway
    ,cal
    mnessappear
    stobet
    aki
    ngov
    erher
    .

    Zodwa:“
    Shewi l
    lbefi
    ne,t
    heenemyhasbeenmovedoutoft
    heway
    ,shehasgr
    ownt
    ir
    ed.Lel
    o
    wil
    lsl
    eeppeaceful
    l
    y,al
    lofthi
    swi
    ll
    beoversoon.
    ”

    Myhopei
    srest
    oredwi
    tht
    hesewor
    ds,
    ItakeLel
    o’shandi
    ntomi
    ne.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    oumam’
    Zodwa.
    ”

    Lel
    ofai
    l
    stogetawor
    dout
    .

    Zodwa:“I
    ’m expect
    ingy
    oui
    nthemor
    ning,
    don’
    tdr
    agt
    hisanyl
    onger
    .Thi
    siswarandy
    ouwi
    l
    l
    conquer
    .”

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouma.
    ”

    Ihangupandpul
    lLel
    oinmyar
    ms,
    shecl
    apsmyt
    -shi
    rtassher
    est
    sherheadonmychest
    .

    Me:
    “Youwi
    l
    lbeokay
    ,Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Ii
    ntendt
    okeept
    hispr
    omi
    se.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    85*

    MBUSO*

    Myeyessl
    owlyopenandinst
    ant
    lymeetthegl
    ori
    ousmorni
    ngl
    ight,
    thecurt
    ainsaredrawnand
    Lel
    oisst
    andi
    ngbythewindow.Icanonl
    yseeherback,
    myheartdropsasyest
    erday’
    sevent
    s
    fl
    ashi
    nmyhead.

    Ipraythatshehasgainedhersi
    ghtback,
    Igetoutofbedandtrai
    ltowar
    dsher
    .Shefl
    inches
    whenIhol dherf
    rom behind,
    myhandssettl
    eonherstomach.Inuzzlemyf
    aceonthecrookof
    herneck.

    Me:
    “Mor
    ningGoku’
    smom.
    ”

    Shepl
    acesherhandsonmi
    neandr
    eleasesadeepsi
    gh.

    Lel
    o:“
    Hey
    ,di
    dthel
    i
    ghtwakey
    ou?I
    ’
    m sor
    ry.Iwant
    edt
    oembr
    acei
    t,Ican’
    tgetenoughofi
    t.
    ”

    Ij
    erkfr
    om t
    heembraceandgr
    aduall
    ytur
    nhertofaceme, shesmi
    leswitht
    ear
    sinherey
    esas
    herey
    esmeetmine.Ihav
    eneverseenamorepeaceful
    sightinmyli
    fe.

    Me:
    “Youcansee?
    ”

    Shenods,
    hersmi
    l
    ewi
    deni
    ngasmor
    etear
    sofj
    oygushoutofherey
    es.

    Lel
    o:“
    Icanseey
    ourf
    ace.
    ”

    Shet
    racest
    heedgesofmyf
    acewi
    thherf
    inger
    s.

    Lel
    o:“
    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkIwoul
    dseet
    hisannoy
    ingf
    aceagai
    n.”

    Il
    aughatherst
    atement
    ,shel
    etsherf
    inger
    spl
    ayar
    oundmyear
    s.

    Lel
    o:“
    Andt
    hesebi
    gear
    s."

    Shet
    ickl
    esmyl
    aughbone.

    Lel
    o:"
    IthoughtIwoul
    dnev
    erseemyson’
    sfaceMbuso.
    ”

    Isendmyhandt
    oherf
    acet
    owi
    pehert
    ear
    saway
    .

    Me:
    “St
    opcr
    yingnow,
    yourey
    eswi
    l
    lcompl
    ain.Theyhav
    ebeent
    hroughenoughal
    ready
    .”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Me:“I
    ’
    m gl
    adyou’
    reokay
    ,youscar
    edmeLel
    o.Youcan’
    tdot
    hatt
    oagr
    ownassman,
    Iwi
    l
    ldi
    e
    bef
    oremyti
    me.”

    Shepl
    acesherhandonmymout
    hasascowl
    takesov
    erherf
    ace,
    sheshakesherhead.

    Lel
    o:“
    Don’
    tsayt
    hat
    ,pl
    ease.Ter
    ri
    blet
    hingshav
    ebeenhappeni
    ng,
    wecan’
    tjokel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    Me:
    “Sor
    ry.Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ngt
    hough?
    ”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    Lel
    o:“
    Tir
    edanddr
    ained.
    ”

    I
    tshowsonherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Thi
    swi
    l
    lbeov
    ersoon.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Yeah.Di
    dyousl
    eepwel
    l
    ?”

    Shewor
    ri
    esaboutme,
    whi
    l
    eshe’
    stheonesuf
    fer
    ing.

    Me:
    “Idi
    d,Iseey
    ou’
    vebat
    hed.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Iwokeupv
    eryear
    lyt
    oday
    .”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,letmegetr
    eady
    .”

    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    ll
    makesomet
    hingt
    oeatwhi
    l
    eyoubat
    h.”

    Me:
    “Wecanhav
    elastni
    ght
    ’sl
    eft
    over
    s,y
    ou’
    ret
    ir
    ed.Youshoul
    dn’
    tbesl
    avi
    ngi
    ntheki
    tchen.
    ”

    Shef
    rownsi
    nresponse.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youandl
    eft
    over
    s,I
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    omakebr
    eakf
    ast
    .”

    Me:
    “Justsoy
    ouknow,
    lef
    tov
    ersar
    ethebest
    .”

    Shemakesaf
    ace.

    Lel
    o:“
    Notev
    ery
    onewi
    l
    lagr
    eewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,ki
    ssmebef
    oreIgo.
    ”

    Shef
    rownsandpul
    l
    sback.

    Lel
    o:“
    Kisswho?
    ”

    Me:
    “Themanwhol
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”

    SheshakesherheadasIpoutmyl
    i
    ps.

    Lel
    o:“Themanwholov
    esmeshoul
    dbr
    ushhi
    steet
    hfi
    rst
    ,I’
    vebeenhol
    dingmybr
    eat
    hsi
    ncey
    ou
    tur
    nedmearound.
    ”

    Il
    aughatherr
    etor
    t.

    Me:“Thi
    sisthesamewomanwhocan’
    tgetenoughofmyki
    sses,
    I’
    m goi
    ngonst
    ri
    ke.Idon’
    t
    wanttohearanycompl
    aint
    s.”

    Lel
    o:“
    Whatar
    ewest
    ri
    ki
    ngf
    or?
    ”
    Me:“Noki
    ssi
    ngbecauseIhav
    ebeent
    old,
    Ihav
    emor
    ningbr
    eat
    h,Iwantanapol
    ogyandki
    sses
    ev
    erymorni
    ngwhenIwakeup.”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Lel
    o:“
    Hay
    ist
    ri
    keondoct
    or.May
    beonedayy
    ourcr
    ieswi
    l
    lbehear
    d.”

    Shemocks.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o,I
    ’
    m notent
    eri
    ngt
    hatbat
    hroom unt
    ilIgetmygoodmor
    ningki
    ss.
    ”

    Shebl
    owsmeaki
    ss.

    Lel
    o:“
    Hambogezake.
    ”(Gobat
    hthen.
    )

    Shehasmel
    aughi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Fi
    ne,
    I’
    m st
    il
    lst
    ri
    ki
    ng.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Okaymba.
    ”(Apeck.
    )

    Me:
    “Mba?
    ”(Apeck.
    )

    Icompl
    ain.

    Lel
    o:“
    Ngi
    kuni
    kai
    sandl
    a,uf
    unai
    ngal
    oyonke,
    habe.
    ”(Igi
    vey
    ouahand,
    youwantt
    hewhol
    ear
    m.)

    Thi
    swomant
    hough.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,mba.
    ”(Apeck.
    )

    shel
    eanscl
    osert
    opeckmyl
    i
    ps,
    Ipul
    lheri
    ntoadeepki
    ss.

    Lel
    o:“
    Mmmhhmmhh.
    ”

    Shemoansasshefi
    ght
    stopushmeback,
    notgi
    vi
    ngal
    lherst
    rengt
    hont
    his,
    let
    smeknowt
    hat
    shewant
    sitasmuch.

    Me:
    “Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”

    Iexpr
    essasIpul
    lawayf
    rom t
    heki
    ss.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youcheat
    edMbuso,
    nowIwi
    l
    lgoonst
    ri
    ke.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    oseey
    out
    ry.
    ”

    Ipeckherl
    i
    psbef
    oret
    readi
    ngt
    owar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso.
    ”

    Ist
    opandswi
    vel
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    whowoul
    dn'
    tl
    ovemeany
    way
    ?”
    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esatme,
    bef
    oreIt
    oil
    outoft
    hebedr
    oom.

    STYLES*

    “
    I’
    m comi
    ng.
    ”

    Hervoiceresoundsf
    rom t
    heothersi
    deofthedoor
    ,myheartl
    edmetoherdoorstepagai
    n.The
    urget
    oseeheragai nwasgreat
    ,Icoul
    dn’
    tfi
    ghti
    tanymor
    e.Ismil
    east
    hedoorfli
    esopenand
    shestandsbeforeme.

    Set
    hu:
    “You’
    reher
    e.”

    Me:
    “Ibr
    oughtbr
    eakf
    ast
    ,Ihol
    dupabr
    ownpaperbagwi
    thmuf
    fi
    nsi
    nsi
    de.

    Shesmi
    l
    esandpav
    esawayf
    ormet
    ogeti
    n.

    Me:
    “Ihopey
    ouhav
    ecof
    fee,
    Idon’
    tdowel
    lwi
    tht
    eabags.
    ”

    Iannounce,
    shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ihav
    ecof
    fee.
    ”

    If
    oll
    owhert
    otheki
    tchen,
    theket
    tl
    eisonandt
    her
    e’sacupont
    hecount
    er.

    Set
    hu:
    “Iwasaboutt
    omakesomet
    ea,
    yourt
    imi
    ngi
    sper
    fect
    .”

    Me:
    “Youj
    ustgohome?
    ”

    Shenods.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ican’
    tsl
    eepwi
    thoutacupoft
    ea.
    ”

    Af
    actr
    eveal
    ed.

    Me:
    “It
    akehal
    fat
    easpoon.
    ”

    Isay
    ,whenshegr
    absacupf
    orme.

    Set
    hu:
    “Whatdi
    dyoubr
    ing?
    ”

    Shetakest
    hepaperbagfrom t
    hecount
    erandopensi
    t.Shedi
    psherheadandasmi
    l
    eembr
    aces
    herf
    aceasshesnif
    fsin,
    thearoma.

    Set
    hu:
    “Bl
    ueber
    rymuf
    fi
    ns?Myf
    avour
    it
    e.”

    Shest
    ates,
    bef
    oremov
    ingt
    opourt
    heboi
    l
    ingwat
    eri
    nthecup.

    Wepl
    odt
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom wi
    thourf
    ood.

    Me:
    “Howwaswor
    k?Di
    dthet
    her
    apywor
    k?”
    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Itwasokay
    ,It
    hinkt
    het
    her
    apywor
    ked.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m gl
    ad.Wheni
    syourdayof
    f?”

    Set
    hu:
    “Todayact
    ual
    l
    y,whydoy
    ouask?
    ”

    Me:
    “BecauseIwantt
    ospendt
    hedaywi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Iwon’
    tbegoodcompany
    ,I’
    l
    lpr
    obabl
    ybesl
    eepi
    ngt
    hewhol
    eti
    me.
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tmi
    nd,
    asl
    ongasI
    ’
    m her
    ewi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “It
    ’sst
    rangehowwemetandt
    odayy
    ou’
    resi
    tt
    ingi
    nmyl
    i
    vingr
    oom.
    ”

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    itf
    eel
    sli
    keal
    ongt
    imeago.
    ”

    Ir
    espondwi
    thasmi
    l
    e,sher
    etur
    nsi
    t.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m gl
    ady
    ou’
    reher
    e,Mr
    .St
    yles.
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    m gl
    adI
    ’
    m her
    ewi
    thy
    ou,
    MissSet
    hu.
    ”

    Shedropshergazeasmyeyesr
    emai
    nonher,
    Icanonl
    ysmirkatheri
    nnocence.Wear
    e
    di
    stur
    bedbyasuddenknockatt
    hedoor
    ,shet
    akesupasof
    tfrown.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”

    Shesi
    ghs.

    Set
    hu:
    “Iknowt
    hatknock,
    ther
    e’sonl
    yoneper
    sonwhoknocksl
    i
    kesheownst
    hispl
    ace.
    ”

    Igi
    veheraquest
    ioni
    ngl
    ookasIwai
    tforherexpl
    anat
    ion.

    Set
    hu:
    “Mydearcousi
    n.”

    Shesay
    sassheget
    sup.

    Me:
    “Shoul
    dn’
    tshebehomesl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Shel
    i
    vesi
    naf
    latopposi
    tet
    hisone.
    ”

    Sheroll
    shereyesatt
    his,
    somet
    hingi
    supwi
    tht
    hisgi
    rl
    .Isi
    tbackont
    hesof
    aasSet
    hut
    oil
    sto
    openthedoor.

    Lebo:
    “Il
    eftmyl
    unchboxt
    heot
    herday
    .”

    Icanhearherf
    rom her
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “No,
    youdi
    dn’
    t.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Idi
    d,t
    hepur
    pleTupper
    war
    e.”
    Set
    hu:
    “Idoubtbut
    ,Iwi
    l
    llookf
    ori
    tandbr
    ingi
    ttoy
    ou.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Mmhh,
    okay
    .CanIuset
    het
    oil
    et?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Youj
    ustl
    efty
    ourpl
    aceLebo.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “So,
    Ineedt
    ouset
    het
    oil
    etnow.Whyar
    eyoubl
    ocki
    ngt
    hedoorway
    ,any
    way
    ?Whoar
    eyou
    wit
    h?”

    Herv
    oicehasbecomedef
    ensi
    veandhost
    il
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “Goodby
    eLebo.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Hel
    lno,
    Iwantt
    oseewhoy
    ou’
    rehi
    dingi
    nther
    e.”

    Set
    hu:
    “Pl
    easemov
    eyourf
    ootf
    rom t
    hedoor
    .”

    Shepl
    eads,
    soundi
    ngmi
    ff
    ed.

    Lebo:
    “No,
    Iwantt
    oseewhoi
    sint
    her
    e.”

    MaybeIshoul
    dindulgehersi
    nceshe’
    ssopersi
    stent
    ,Igetupandambl
    etowar
    dstheexi
    t.Bug-
    ey
    ed,herjawdr
    opsuponseeingme.Istandbehi
    ndSethuandwr apmyar
    m ar
    oundherwaist
    ,I
    pl
    aceakissonthetopofherhead.

    Me:
    “Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngokay
    ,Ki
    tt
    en?
    ”

    Shedoesn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngf
    orawhi
    l
    ebef
    oresheanswer
    sinawhi
    sper
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Yes,
    Lebowasj
    ustl
    eav
    ing.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,yourt
    eai
    sget
    ti
    ngcol
    d.”

    Thi
    sist
    opissLebomor
    e,Idon’
    tunder
    standherbul
    l
    yingt
    hisi
    nnocentsoul
    .Herday
    sar
    e
    number
    ed.

    Lebo:
    “Set
    hu?
    ”

    Shesay
    sinagasp,
    almostunabl
    etogr
    aspwhatshe’
    sseei
    ng.

    Lebo:
    “Youwentagai
    nsty
    ourownmot
    herand…”

    Ishutt
    hedooronherf
    ace,
    stoppi
    ngherf
    rom speaki
    nganyf
    urt
    her
    .

    Set
    huj
    erksoutofmyhol
    dandt
    urnst
    oleerupatme.

    Set
    hu:
    “Whathav
    eyoudone?Shewi
    l
    lrunandt
    ell
    mypar
    ent
    s.”

    Thef
    eari
    nherey
    esi
    svi
    sibl
    e.

    Me:
    “So?You’
    ret
    went
    yfi
    veSet
    hu,
    you’
    real
    l
    owedt
    ohav
    eamani
    nyourl
    i
    fe.
    ”

    Lebo:“Set
    huopenthedoornow,y
    ou’
    react
    ingl
    ikeabit
    chy
    ouknowt
    hat
    ?You’
    resel
    l
    ingbody
    Sethu?Auntwi
    llbedi
    sappoi
    ntedi
    nyou,
    Sethuopen.
    ”
    Shey
    ell
    s,f
    uri
    ousl
    yasshebangst
    hedoor
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “YouseeSt
    yles?Thi
    sisbad,
    thi
    sisbad.
    ”

    Iseet
    hepani
    cinherey
    es.

    Me:“Rel
    axSethu,youneedtoputyourfootdownandstandupagai
    nstthatbul
    ly
    ,okay?Iwant
    youtoopenthatdoorandtel
    lhert
    ogetl ostbef
    oreIdr
    agherout
    .Sheturnstoopenthedoor,
    Leboisst
    il
    lstandi
    nghere.Herf
    aceholdsanangr yl
    ook.

    Lebo:
    “Usuy
    afebaSe…”(
    you'
    reapr
    ost
    it
    utenow?
    )

    Shedoesn’
    tfi
    nishwi
    thherr
    udewor
    dsasSet
    hul
    apsheracr
    osst
    hef
    ace,
    shehol
    dshercheeki
    n
    di
    sbel
    ief
    .

    Lebo:
    “Set
    hu?
    ”

    Leboi
    sfi
    ndi
    ngi
    thar
    dtobel
    i
    evewhatj
    usthappened.

    Sethu:
    “Don’tevercal
    lmeaprosti
    tut
    eagai
    n,I
    ’
    m donewi
    thyouLebo.It
    houghtIwoul
    dnev
    ersay
    thi
    sbut,Iam cutt
    ingt
    ieswi
    thyou.You’
    ret
    oxi
    c,y
    ouandIar
    enolongerrel
    ated.
    ”

    Set
    hur
    emai
    nscal
    m al
    though,
    angeri
    svi
    sibl
    einhert
    one.

    Lebo:
    “Ther
    e’snosucht
    hing,
    I’
    myourcousi
    nSet
    huwhet
    hery
    oul
    i
    kei
    tornot
    .Youcannev
    erget
    ri
    dofme.”

    Herwor
    dspr
    ovet
    hatshe’
    ssel
    f-
    cent
    red.

    Set
    hu:
    “YesIcanandIjustdi
    d.Don’tcometomyhouseany
    mor e,
    don’
    tcall
    me.Whenyousee
    meatwork,
    turnt
    heotherdir
    ect
    ion.Iam donewi
    thy
    ou,makingmefeell
    i
    keIam wor
    thl
    ess.
    ”

    I
    nhav
    enev
    erbeensopr
    oudi
    nmyl
    i
    fe.

    Lebor
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Lebo:“Whendidy
    oubecomesobol
    d?I
    sitt
    hedi
    ck?I
    t’
    sbeent
    ool
    ongsi
    ncey
    ouhadi
    tandj
    ust
    onetasteSet
    hu,y
    ougrowwi
    ngs.
    ”

    Shesendsacont
    empt
    uousl
    augh.

    Thi
    sli
    ttl
    ebit
    ch,Ihavetost
    opmy sel
    ffr
    om sl
    appingheracr
    osstheface.Idon’
    twantt
    oscar
    e
    Set
    hu,she’
    sbeent hr
    oughenoughwit
    hthatpeaceofshi
    tNtokozo.

    Me:
    “Getoutofher
    e.”

    Isnapather
    ,sher
    espondswi
    thabl
    ackl
    ook.

    Set
    hu:
    “You’
    redeadt
    omeLebo.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Youcan’
    tdot
    hat
    ,Iwi
    l
    ltel
    launtev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Goahead,
    Idon’
    tcar
    eany
    mor
    e.”

    I
    ’
    mtempt
    edt
    obangt
    hisdoorshutbut
    ,Set
    huneedst
    ospeakhermi
    nd.
    Lebo:“
    Yout
    hinkt
    hismanwi
    l
    llov
    eyou?Hewi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    oul
    i
    keahotpot
    atoe,
    you’
    renotl
    ovabl
    e
    Sethu.
    ”

    Shey
    ell
    sinherf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,fuckof
    f.
    ”

    Igrowlather
    ,sherai
    sesherey
    estoglar
    eatme.Iseeat
    intoff
    earonherf
    ace,
    her
    stubbor
    nnessrubsmeoffthewrongway.

    Set
    hu:“If
    eelsor
    ryforyouLebo,y
    ou’
    remiser
    abl
    e,t
    hat
    ’swhyyou’r
    esoobsessedwi
    thmyl
    i
    fe.
    WhatIdoisnotyourbusi
    ness,y
    oustayt
    hehell
    awayfrom me.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Set
    huy
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngt
    ome…”

    That
    ’si
    t,I
    ’
    m done.Ishutt
    hedooronherf
    ace,
    Set
    hut
    urnst
    ogl
    anceatme.

    Ishr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    s.

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry,
    herv
    oicewasannoy
    ingme.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es,
    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkshewast
    hisst
    rong.

    Set
    hu:
    “Thatact
    ual
    l
    yfel
    tgood,
    tel
    l
    ingherof
    f.Ihav
    edr
    eamtoft
    hisday
    .”

    Ismi
    l
    eatherconf
    essi
    on.

    Me:
    “I’
    m pr
    oudofy
    ou,
    youdi
    dgood.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mrewar
    dedwi
    thasmi
    l
    eformywor
    ds.

    Set
    hu:
    “Nowt
    hat
    ,that
    ’sdone.Letusf
    ini
    shourbr
    eakf
    ast
    .”

    Shest
    atesasshet
    oddl
    esbackt
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom.

    Me:
    “Ineedanot
    hercup,
    Ihat
    elukewar
    mtea.
    ”

    Myprocl
    amationhasherlaughi
    ng,
    Lebodoesn’thav
    ethecour
    agetoknockagain.Shebett
    er
    wal
    kaway ,
    IthinkIshoul
    dpayherali
    tt
    lev
    isi
    t.Iknowshewil
    lnotst
    opharassi
    ngSet hu.

    AMARA*

    Icangetusedt othi
    s,wakingupwithhim nextt
    ome.HadIimaginedt
    hisbefor
    e?Well
    ,my
    ci
    rcumstancesdidnotallowme.Ifail
    edtoimaginel
    i
    febeyondthewall
    sofmyuncle’
    shouse,
    beyondhisdepravedlustandassaul
    t.Fat
    ekeptmeincar
    cerat
    edinall
    ofthatandmademe
    beli
    evet
    hat,thatwasallther
    ewast oli
    fe.

    Peopl
    edef
    ini
    tel
    ymeeti
    ndi
    ff
    erentway
    s,ourmeet
    ingwasn’
    tnor
    mal
    norbl
    i
    ssf
    ul.

    I
    t’
    snotaperfectst
    oryt
    oboastaboutbut
    ,it
    stur
    nsbr
    oughtaboutt
    hismomentr
    ighther
    e.Tosay
    I
    ’
    m grat
    eful
    ,wouldnotbeenough.
    He’sl
    yingonhi
    sback,
    hisonehandsuppor
    ti
    nghi
    sheadandt
    heot
    hersomewher
    ebet
    weent
    he
    sheet
    s.

    Ipl
    acemyhandonhi
    schestaf
    terscoot
    ingcl
    osert
    ohi
    m,asIi
    nspecthi
    sfaci
    alf
    eat
    ures.

    Ismil
    etomy sel
    fatthepermanentpuckeronhi
    sforehead,hefr
    ownsal otandnow, i
    twon’
    t
    depar
    tfr
    om him.Asi fhef
    eel
    smewat chi
    nghim,hi
    sey esslowl
    ybut,sur
    elyopen.Icanonl
    y
    smil
    eathim ashisgazehasme, shy
    ingawayli
    keal ovest
    ruckteenager
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    sthi
    swhatagoodmor
    ningl
    ooksl
    i
    ke?
    ”

    Hi
    sfi
    rstwor
    ds.

    Ifr
    ownathim ashisquesti
    onl
    eav
    esmeinawav eofconf
    usion.Hegrabsmyar
    m andpul
    l
    sme
    tohim,
    thesechestcol
    li
    dingmoment
    shappenf
    requent
    ly,
    I'
    velostcount
    .

    Randall
    :“Ihavealwayswonderedwhat ’
    sgoodaboutamor ni
    ngwhenpeoplewouldutt
    erthose
    words,I
    ’vethoughtthem t
    obest upi
    dreall
    y.Now,Iseewhattheymeant
    ,theymust’
    vehave
    exper
    iencedsuchmoment si
    nt hei
    rli
    ves.Towakeupbesideawomanwhohol dsyourheart.
    ”

    Thatwasamouthful
    l,
    he’
    slear
    ning.Pr
    ett
    ysoonhewi
    l
    lbeexpr
    essi
    nghi
    msel
    fver
    bal
    l
    yandnot
    j
    ustwit
    hphysi
    calt
    ouch.

    Me:
    “Di
    dyour
    eci
    tet
    hosei
    nyourdr
    eams?
    ”

    Hi
    sbr
    owcur
    vesasi
    fpr
    obi
    ngf
    orananswert
    omysar
    cast
    icquest
    ion.

    Me:
    “Youseem t
    obepoet
    ict
    hismor
    ningmypr
    ince.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    li
    ter
    all
    y.

    TodayI
    ’
    mint
    hepr
    esenceofadi
    ff
    erentRandal
    l
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Sayt
    hatagai
    n.”

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Pr
    ince,
    yousai
    dI’
    myour
    ..
    .”

    Thest
    upi
    dsmi
    l
    eonhi
    sfacer
    emai
    ns.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    edoneenoughegost
    roki
    ngf
    ort
    heday
    ,It
    hinkI
    ’
    llr
    eti
    ref
    ornow.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    esl
    owl
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Egohuh?
    ”

    Hebr
    ingshi
    sfacecl
    osert
    omi
    neasi
    fwant
    ingt
    oki
    ssme,
    hebur
    iesmycheeki
    nhi
    shand.

    Me:
    “Yes,
    ego…Youseem t
    obesel
    f-
    assur
    edt
    hismor
    ning.
    ”

    Todenyt
    hatI
    ’
    mlosi
    ngi
    twi
    tht
    hesegest
    uresofhi
    s,woul
    dbest
    upi
    dofme.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yougi
    vemet
    hatconf
    idencemehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )
    Hi
    sey
    esabandont
    hej
    okeri
    nhi
    m ast
    heyacceptadeepappear
    ance.

    Randal
    l
    :“Besi
    des,
    whoel
    set
    ost
    roket
    hisegoy
    ouspeakof
    ,ifnoty
    ou?
    ”

    Hesmi
    rks,
    bit
    inghi
    slowerl
    i
    p.Thedeepst
    arei
    sgone,
    onl
    yal
    ust
    ful
    gazecl
    aimshi
    sey
    es.

    Me:
    “Weshoul
    dgetup,
    I’
    m hungr
    y.”

    Igulpashi
    sclosenesshasmenervous.Mypal
    msaresweat
    ing,
    myhear ti
    spal
    pit
    ati
    ng.My
    breathi
    ngi
    sonaf astl
    anetogod-
    knowswhere,t
    het
    ipofhi
    snosetouchesminebefor
    ehisl
    i
    ps
    brushagai
    nstmine.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    m hungr
    ytoo.
    ”

    Hedecl
    aresagai
    nstmyl
    i
    ps,
    seduct
    ivel
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“Letmet
    ast
    eyou,
    mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen)

    Hewhi
    sper
    ssof
    tl
    y,bef
    orecapt
    uri
    ngmyl
    i
    ps.

    Caughtupi
    nthemoment ,
    Ifi
    ndmysel
    fmoaningsof
    tl
    ytohiswolfi
    shki
    ss.Mychesti
    sagai
    nst
    hi
    s,ashe’
    sti
    ghtl
    yhol
    dingme.Canakissbesodeepthati
    tleav
    esmeemot i
    onal
    ?

    Hesupport
    smybackashef l
    ipsusoverwithoutbreaki
    ngthemomnet ,hi
    sweightholdsme
    down.Ourtonguesduel,creatingahar
    monyi nt hi
    sheatedki
    ss.Hi
    shandgoesi nsearchof
    somethi
    ngundermyt -shir
    t,itgli
    desupandi nspli
    tamomentmybr easti
    scuppedint hepalm
    ofhi
    shand.Hislipsl
    eavemi netoexpl
    orepar t
    sofmyf ace,t
    heygrazemychinandset t
    leonthe
    cur
    veofmyneck.Thisi smyweakspot ,i
    tleavesmykneeswobbl yandmybl oodpressur er
    isi
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwantt
    owor
    shi
    pev
    eryi
    nchofy
    ou.Tel
    lmehowt
    hisf
    eel
    s,mehemma.
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Hewhi
    sper
    sashel
    i
    ght
    lycar
    essesmybr
    eastandni
    ppl
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwantt
    otouchy
    our
    ight
    ,coachme.
    ”

    Hi
    svoi
    ceandwar
    m br
    eat
    hti
    ckl
    i
    ngmyearhasmeshudder
    ingwi
    thpl
    easur
    e.

    HowdoIgi v
    ear eplyt
    ohi
    sstat
    ementwhenhe’
    slef
    tmebr
    eat
    hless?Isi
    nkmyhandsunderhi
    st-
    shi
    rtbef
    oretheycreat
    eari
    seandf
    allonhi
    sbar
    eback.

    Ther
    e’sasuddenknockatt
    hedoor
    ,Iwai
    tforhi
    mtost
    opbut
    ,hedoesn’
    t.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    ,ther
    e’saknock.
    ”

    Iwhisper,
    fight
    ingt
    ocat
    chmybr
    eat
    h,hei
    gnor
    esmeashecont
    inueswi
    thadesper
    ateneedt
    o
    reachhisgoal.

    Whoev
    eri
    soutt
    her
    e,i
    snotl
    eav
    ing.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Heent
    icesmei
    nanot
    herav
    idki
    ss,
    asi
    fsi
    l
    enci
    ngme.

    “
    Papa,
    opent
    hedoor
    .”
    Hest
    ops,
    rai
    seshi
    sheadt
    ogl
    anceatmewi
    thhal
    f-
    li
    ddedey
    es.

    Randal
    l
    :“That
    ’si
    t,ev
    ery
    onei
    smov
    ingoutoft
    hishouse.
    ”

    He’
    spi
    qued,
    Icanonl
    ysmi
    l
    eathi
    scr
    azi
    ness.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    86*

    STYLES*

    I
    ’m attheri
    ghtplace,t
    hedoorswingsopenaf
    tert
    woknocks.Herphy
    sical
    demeanourandher
    bodylanguagetellme,shewasn’
    texpect
    ingt
    oseemehere.

    Me:
    “Hi
    ,Lebo.
    ”

    Ismi
    l
    eather
    ,she’
    shol
    dsont
    oaf
    rown.

    Me:
    “CanIcomei
    n?”

    Lebo:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Sheasks,
    eacht
    imeImeether
    ,she’
    sal
    way
    sfei
    styandr
    ude.Now,
    shest
    andshumbl
    edbef
    ore
    me.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’snopr
    ivacyi
    nthi
    scor
    ri
    dor
    ,won’
    tyoul
    etmei
    n.”

    Ismi
    l
    ewar
    mly
    ,thecr
    easesonherf
    oreheadl
    i
    neupandt
    hef
    rowndi
    sappear
    s.

    Shemakeswayf
    ormet
    oent
    er,
    Ist
    ri
    dei
    nandsheshut
    sthedoor
    .

    Isl
    apheracr
    osst
    hef
    acej
    ustasshet
    urns,
    shescr
    eamswhi
    l
    eshef
    all
    s.

    Me:
    “That
    ,isf
    orcal
    l
    ingSet
    huapr
    ost
    it
    ute.
    ”

    Shel
    ooksupatme,
    herhandpast
    edonhercheek.

    Me:“Sor
    ry,
    Idon’
    tusual
    l
    ydot
    his.Myhandwasi
    tchi
    ngso,
    Ineededt
    oscr
    atchi
    t.Thanksf
    ort
    he
    hel
    p.”

    Sheget
    supwhi
    l
    egi
    vi
    ngmeacol
    dlook.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongLebo?You’
    real
    way
    sbl
    abber
    ing,
    youcan’
    tspeaknow?
    ”

    Sheshakesherheadasherey
    esr
    ecei
    veaf
    loodoft
    ear
    s.

    Me:“St
    ayawayf
    rom Set
    hu,
    thatsl
    apshegav
    eyouwi
    l
    lbenot
    hingcompar
    edt
    owhatIwi
    l
    ldot
    o
    you.
    "

    Lebo:
    “Howdar
    eyou…”

    Shebar
    kst
    hewor
    dsout
    .

    Me:“Youcansti
    ll
    speak?Wow.Sot
    ell
    meLebo,
    howmuchdi
    dthatcaroutt
    her
    ecost
    ?Sur
    ely
    nur
    singdoesn’
    tpayt
    hatmuch.
    ”

    Lebo:
    “Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    Angerhast
    akenov
    erherv
    oice.

    Me:
    “No,
    rel
    ax.That’
    syourprobl
    em,
    y oualway
    swantt
    otal
    k.Won’
    tyoul
    i
    stenf
    oronce?Today
    wet
    urnt
    hetabl
    es,Ispeakandyoul
    isten.
    ”

    Shewi
    peshert
    ear
    sasshet
    ri
    est
    olookdaunt
    ed.

    Lebo:
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantf
    rom me?
    ”

    Idi
    dsayshe’
    sst
    ubbor
    n.

    Me:“Let’
    sseewhatwehave,it
    ’spri
    ntedinmymi nd.Theil
    legal
    abor
    ti
    onsoperatedatt
    he
    hospit
    al,
    sell
    i
    ngnewbornbabiesandpr esent
    ingt
    hemot herswit
    hdeadones.Theli
    sti
    sendl
    ess,
    Ithi
    nkI’
    mf orget
    ti
    ngsomet
    hingelse.
    ”

    Ihav
    enev
    erseenf
    earembr
    aceone,
    sobeaut
    if
    ull
    y.

    Me:
    “Remi
    ndmeLebo,
    somet
    hingaboutwor
    kingal
    ongwi
    thGr
    eenPast
    uresbur
    ial
    s.”

    Herj
    awdr
    ops,
    ifherey
    escoul
    dgowi
    der
    ,theywoul
    d.

    Me:
    “It
    ’scomi
    ngt
    ome.
    ”

    Iti
    l
    tmyheadt
    othesi
    deasIshootherasl
    ygr
    in,
    shest
    if
    lesasobandcov
    ershermout
    hwi
    thher
    hand.

    Me:“Yes,Ir
    emembernow.Thatol dbastardCelepaysyoutogethim deadbodi esf
    orhis
    f
    uneralparl
    ourandy ouplayGodwithpeopl
    e’sli
    ves,
    youdecidetheirf
    ate.Iam shockedreall
    y,
    whowoul d’
    vethought?Youlookli
    kethegir
    lnextdoor,
    soinnocent.Whatwi l
    lyourmotherthi
    nk
    whenshef i
    ndsoutthat,herl
    it
    tl
    egirl
    kil
    l
    speopleandsellsbabi
    esforal i
    ving?”

    Lebo:
    “That
    ’sal
    lal
    i
    e,y
    ou’
    ret
    ryi
    ngt
    oscar
    eme.
    ”

    Shehowl
    s,herv
    oicequav
    erswi
    thf
    ear
    .

    Me:
    “Oh,
    isi
    t?Cel
    eisi
    npol
    i
    cecust
    odyaswespeak,
    heconf
    essedev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Shegaspsi
    nshock.

    Lebo:
    “Pl
    ease,
    don’
    trepor
    tme.Idon’
    twantt
    ogot
    ojai
    l
    .”

    Now,
    sheconf
    esses.

    Me: “
    Youdeserveapuni
    shmentworsethanjai
    l
    ,alsoitwouldbeani
    nsul
    ttodeat
    hify
    ouwere
    kil
    l
    ed.Whatisityouwer
    esayi
    ngtheotherday?I’
    l
    l gethi
    m arr
    est
    ed?Theonewhowil
    lbegoi
    ng
    tojai
    lher
    eisyou.”

    Lebo:
    “I’
    l
    lsni
    tchony
    ou,
    I’
    ll
    tel
    lthepol
    i
    ceev
    ery
    thi
    ngIknowabouty
    ou.
    ”

    Shey
    ell
    s,she’
    ssodr
    amat
    ic.

    Me:
    “Whati
    sitt
    haty
    ouknowaboutme?Dot
    ell
    .”

    Lebo:
    “Theshoot
    ingatt
    hehospi
    tal
    ,thesnakesandt
    het
    wopol
    i
    cemenwhower
    eki
    l
    led.
    ”
    Me:“
    Whatshoot
    ing?Asfarasever
    yoneisconcer
    ned,t
    herewasnoshoot
    ing.Thepol
    i
    ce
    of
    fi
    cersdi
    eddur
    ingadrugrai
    dinAlex.Wer
    ey ounoti
    nfor
    med?”

    She’
    stonguet
    ied.

    Lebo:
    “Sethui
    sdamagedgoods,nomancaneverl
    ookather
    .Hasshet
    oldy
    ouaboutt
    hescar
    s
    onherbody?Nomancanbarethatr
    evol
    ti
    ngsi
    ght.
    ”

    JustwhenIt
    hinkshewi
    l
    lst
    op,
    Igr
    abherneckandpi
    nheragai
    nstt
    hewal
    l
    .

    Icl
    utchmyhandonherthr
    oat
    .Thiscomesasashockt
    oher
    ,herey
    esar
    ewi
    dened.Shegr
    abs
    mywr i
    st,
    try
    ingt
    oloosent
    het
    ightgri
    p.

    Me:
    “Li
    stent
    omey
    oust
    upi
    dbi
    tch,
    onemor
    ewor
    dagai
    nstt
    hatgi
    rl
    .Isweart
    ogod,
    Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyou.
    ”

    Shest
    ruggl
    esagai
    nstmyhand,
    Iletgoandshedr
    opst
    othef
    loor
    .

    Lebo:
    “I’
    m notscar
    edofy
    ou.
    ”

    Shecoughsoutt
    hewor
    ds,
    I’
    m act
    ual
    l
    yimpr
    essedbyherf
    ight
    ingspi
    ri
    t.

    Me:
    “IfIwer
    eyou,
    Iwoul
    dbescar
    edofme.
    ”

    Ther
    e’saknockatt
    hedoor
    ,shegl
    aresatmeandscr
    eams.

    Lebo:
    “Hel
    p,he’
    str
    yingt
    oki
    l
    lme.Hel
    pmepl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ah,
    stopwi
    tht
    hedr
    ama,
    I’
    m act
    ual
    l
    yexpect
    ingaguest
    .”

    Shegasps.

    Iopent
    hedoorf
    orMphoj
    a,he’
    sadet
    ect
    iveandanacquai
    ntance.

    Me:
    “Per
    fectt
    imi
    ngskhul
    u.”

    Hechuckl
    es.

    Mphoj
    a:“
    Wel
    l
    ,youl
    eav
    emenochoi
    ceSi
    shi
    .”

    Hewal
    ksi
    n.

    Mphoj
    a:“
    Ist
    hisher
    ?”

    Heasksuponseei
    ngLebo.

    Me:“Yep,i
    t’
    stimewelettheskel
    etonsoutoft
    hecl
    oset
    .Makesur
    esher
    otsi
    njai
    l
    ,ifshecomes
    out
    ,Iwill
    kil
    lhermysel
    f.
    ”

    Mphoj
    a:“
    Done.
    ”

    Me:
    “Doy
    ourj
    obskhul
    u.”

    Mphoj
    a:“
    Yey
    ,mov
    eousi
    e.”(
    Sist
    er.
    )

    Hegr
    absheri
    nanat
    temptt
    ohandcuf
    fher
    ,shepusheshi
    m of
    fbut
    ,hemanagest
    orest
    rai
    nher
    .
    Lebo:
    “No,
    please.Idi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng,
    I’
    minnocent
    .”

    Shescr
    eamsasshe’
    sbei
    nghandcuf
    fed.

    Lebo:“
    PleaseSt
    yles,
    don’
    tdot
    his.Set
    huwi
    l
    lhat
    eyouwhenshef
    indsoutwhaty
    oudi
    dtoher
    cousi
    n.”

    Me:
    “Taket
    het
    rashoutman.
    ”

    Mphoj
    adr
    agsheroutscr
    eami
    ngandpl
    eadi
    ng.

    NOBAYENI
    *

    Successisnot
    hingwhenyoudon’thaveyourlovedoneswithyou.Iam v er
    ymuchawar eof
    whatIhavedonetoBri
    dgett
    e,t
    heneglectshehadt oendureallherli
    fe.Iknowshecrav
    esfora
    mother’
    sloveandIwantt
    ogiveittoherbut,Ican’
    tlookatherwithoutseeingmyfat
    her
    assaul
    ti
    ngme.Thishasbir
    thedthehatredIhaveforher.

    Dladl
    ahasbeenagoodman,
    heaccept
    edmychil
    dandl
    ovedhermor
    ethanIcoul
    d.HowdoI
    helpBri
    dget
    te,
    whenIhav
    emyowndemonstoface?

    Ther
    ewasat i
    mewhenIwasmadl
    yinl
    ovewi
    thDl
    adl
    abut
    ,Iwast
    oobr
    okent
    ogi
    vemy
    sel
    fto
    someonecomplet
    ely
    .

    Me:
    “Dl
    adl
    a.”

    He’
    sint
    heki
    tchencooki
    ng.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    I’
    m maki
    ngKhet
    hu’
    sfav
    our
    it
    e.”

    Shehasn’
    tcomehomey
    et.

    Me:
    “Isee,
    hav
    eyouspokent
    ohert
    hough?
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    No,
    atl
    eastshe’
    swi
    thMbongeni
    ”

    Hedr
    awsadeepsi
    gh.

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    Ineedy
    out
    ospeakt
    oher
    .”

    Me:
    “Whyme?
    ”

    Dl
    adl
    a:“
    You’
    rehermot
    herNobaandsheneedsy
    our
    ightnow.
    ”

    If
    indi
    thar
    dtobel
    i
    evehi
    swor
    ds,
    IdoubtsheandIwi
    l
    lev
    ermakepeace.

    Me:
    “Af
    terwhatshedi
    dtomeDl
    adl
    a,Idon’
    tthi
    nki
    t’
    swi
    set
    hatIappr
    oachher
    .”

    Hewalksuptome,t
    akesmyhandandleadsmetoachair
    .Heset
    tl
    esopposit
    eme,
    Dladl
    aisa
    gent
    lesoul
    .Ihav
    ebeentoocaughtupi
    nmywarsthat
    ,If
    ail
    edt
    oappreci
    atehi
    m.
    Dladl
    a:“I
    t’
    sti
    meNoba,it
    ’sti
    mef oryoutost
    opfi
    ghtingt
    hisandembr
    aceyourchi
    l
    d.Ihaveseen
    howy oupushherawaywit
    hy ourwordsandact
    ionsbut
    ,deepdownyouwanttomotherher
    .”

    Hei
    sri
    ght
    ,Ican’
    tseem t
    oletheri
    nandIbl
    amemy
    sel
    fforherl
    i
    fespi
    ral
    l
    ing.

    Me:
    “It
    ’snoteasyDl
    adl
    a,I
    ’
    m br
    oken.Iwi
    l
    ljustdr
    agherdownwi
    thme.
    ”

    Dladl
    a:“
    Thenwegety oubothhelp,y
    ounev erheal
    edaft
    ert
    heassaul
    t.Youbottl
    edeveryt
    hing
    i
    nsideandyourragef
    elluponyourchil
    d,i
    t’
    sbeentoolong,
    it’
    sti
    metoletgo.Khethuneedsyou,
    Ican’
    thel
    pher.”

    HowdoIf
    ixwhatIhav
    ebr
    oken?Wher
    edoIev
    enbegi
    n?

    RANDALL*

    It
    hinkIspendmostofmyt
    imewi
    thSt
    ylest
    hanIdoathome,
    hecal
    l
    edmeov
    erandi
    tsounded
    ur
    gent.

    Me:
    “St
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Justi
    nti
    me.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ti
    mef
    orwhat
    ?”

    Hesmil
    esandmakeswayf
    ormet oenter,
    there’
    samanseatedont hecouch.He’saboutt
    he
    sameageasus,
    hisdar
    kcl
    othesseem t
    omat chhisdemeanourandhisfaceisunwelcomi
    ng.

    It
    urnt
    oSt
    ylesasheshut
    sthedoor
    .

    Me:
    “Ar
    ewehav
    ingapar
    ty?
    ”

    St
    yleschuckl
    es,
    themanget
    supandcar
    ri
    eshi
    shandsonhi
    sback.

    St
    yles:
    “Randal
    l
    ,meetKennet
    hMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Okay
    ,thi
    sist
    hegr
    eatKennet
    hI’
    vebeenhear
    ingabout
    .

    Kennet
    h:“
    JustKennet
    h.”

    Her
    espondswi
    thadar
    ktone,
    Idon’
    tli
    ket
    heaur
    ahov
    eri
    ngar
    oundhi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Yes,
    sor
    ry.Thi
    sismybr
    otherRandal
    lOkol
    i
    e,t
    heoneIt
    oldy
    ouabout
    .”

    Inot
    iceat
    wit
    chi
    nhi
    sey
    esatt
    hement
    ionofmyname.

    Me:
    “JustRandal
    l
    .”

    Ir
    espond.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Isee.
    ”
    St
    yles:
    “Let
    ’ssi
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ihav
    eameet
    ingwi
    thRav
    enandSegun,
    canwemaket
    hisqui
    ck?What
    everi
    tis.
    ”

    Kennet
    hcl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oataswesi
    t,heseemst
    obeabi
    tuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngokayMkhi
    ze?
    ”

    Hescowl
    satme.

    Kennet
    h:“
    LikeIsai
    d,j
    ustKennet
    h.”

    Me:
    “Mybad,
    Kennet
    h.Youseem edgy
    .”

    St
    ylescl
    ear
    shi
    sthr
    oat
    ,Igl
    anceathi
    m andheshakeshi
    shead.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Sty
    les,
    whyam Iher
    e?”

    Heseemst
    ooeagert
    oleav
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Okay
    ,letmenotbeatar
    oundt
    hebush,
    tel
    lmeaboutSegunOkol
    i
    e.”

    Hesay
    swhi
    l
    egl
    ari
    ngatKennet
    hwhogi
    veshi
    m adeepf
    rown.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Whoi
    sthat
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “ComeonKennet
    h,l
    et’
    snotpl
    aygames.
    ”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Noonei
    spl
    ayi
    nggamesher
    e.”

    St
    ylesi
    sont
    osomet
    hing,
    henev
    ert
    ell
    smehi
    spl
    ans,
    hej
    ustdr
    agsmei
    ntot
    hem.

    Me:
    “You,
    seem t
    obepl
    ayi
    nggamesMkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Ioptt
    opl
    ayal
    ong,
    Itr
    ustt
    hisbast
    ardofmi
    ne.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Whot
    hef
    ucki
    sthi
    sidi
    ot?
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    satme,
    ther
    eissomet
    hingheknowsaboutSegun.

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    tmi
    ndhi
    m pl
    ease,
    he’
    srudel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Wel
    l
    ,Iknowhowt
    odeal
    wit
    hrudepeopl
    e.”

    Isneerathi
    swor
    ds,
    ift
    hisf
    uckerhasany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    thmyf
    ami
    l
    y.Hebet
    terspeakuporso
    helpmeGod.

    Me:
    “Li
    stenher
    eMkhi
    ze…”

    St
    yles:
    “Randy
    ,notev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    sanambush.Rel
    ax,
    Kennet
    hismyf
    ri
    endj
    ustasy
    ouar
    e.”

    Me:
    “Nonsense.
    ”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Wat
    chy
    ourbackboy
    .”

    Het
    hreat
    ens,
    I’
    mfazed.
    Me:
    “St
    yles,
    speakt
    oyourf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Gosh,
    canwepl
    easehav
    eanor
    mal
    conv
    ersat
    ionher
    e.”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Whyar
    eyoupoki
    ngasnakei
    nahol
    e,St
    yles?I
    twi
    l
    lbi
    tey
    ou.
    ”

    Ther
    eiti
    s.

    Me:“
    So,
    youdoknowSegunOkol
    i
    e?Thi
    snamehasmadey
    ouuncomf
    ort
    abl
    efr
    om t
    hemoment
    i
    twasment
    ioned.
    ”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Youpeopl
    edon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    remessi
    ngwi
    th.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatorwho?
    ”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Ishoul
    dtakemyl
    eav
    e.”

    Heget
    supal
    ongwi
    thSt
    yles.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tleav
    eonmyaccount
    .”

    Ist
    ate.

    Whyi
    sher
    unni
    ngaway
    ?

    St
    yles:
    “Kennet
    h,I
    ’
    m sor
    ry.Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    omakey
    ouuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.”

    Kennet
    h:“
    Whosai
    dIwasuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e?Yourf
    ri
    endher
    est
    inks,
    Idon’
    tli
    kehi
    sst
    ench.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    satme,
    ther
    e’sadar
    kpr
    esencet
    hatseem t
    oaccompanyt
    hisbast
    ard.

    Me:
    “Thef
    eel
    i
    ng’
    smut
    ual
    ,Mkhi
    ze.
    ”

    Ir
    ipost
    ewhi
    l
    eget
    ti
    ngup,
    hegr
    imacesatme.Hi
    sbl
    ackst
    aredoesn’
    tshakeme.

    Kennet
    h:“
    Mkhi
    zesepoes.
    ”(Mkhi
    zei
    syourass.
    )

    Hi
    srej
    oinderhasmesni
    cker
    ing.

    St
    yles:
    “Gr
    owupguy
    spl
    ease,
    thi
    sisnotani
    cesi
    ght
    .”

    St
    ylesj
    umpsi
    n.

    Styl
    es:
    “We’
    llbeworki
    ngtoget
    heri
    nbr
    ingi
    ngMkhi
    zedownandy
    out
    woar
    eal
    readyt
    hrowi
    ng
    dagger
    sateachother
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notwor
    kingwi
    tht
    hisasshol
    e.”

    Igr
    unt
    ,Kennet
    hhuf
    fs.

    Kennet
    h:“
    You’
    repl
    ayi
    ngwi
    thf
    ir
    eboy
    ,wat
    chy
    ourmout
    h.”

    Hesaunt
    erst
    owar
    dsme.

    Me:
    “Youwat
    chy
    ourmout
    hMkhi
    ze.
    ”
    Iknowt
    hisnameaggr
    avat
    eshi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyout
    wodonewi
    thy
    ourl
    i
    ttl
    eromanceorshoul
    dIgety
    ouar
    oom?
    ”

    Ihuf
    fathi
    squest
    ion.

    Wher
    edi
    dhegett
    hisi
    diot
    ?

    Kennet
    h:“
    I’
    m outofher
    e.”

    Heambl
    esoutandl
    eav
    est
    hedoorwi
    deopen,
    Sty
    lesmov
    est
    ocl
    osei
    t.

    St
    yles:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lRandal
    l
    ?Thatmani
    sinacul
    t.Doy
    ouknowwhatt
    heydot
    her
    e?”

    He’
    sfr
    eaki
    ngout
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tcar
    e,keephi
    m awayf
    rom me.
    ”

    Hel
    aughscol
    dlyasheposi
    ti
    onshi
    msel
    fdown.

    Me:
    “Whywer
    eyouaski
    ngaboutSegun?Whatdoeshehav
    etodowi
    thhi
    m?”

    Stl
    yes:“
    Ithi
    nkSegunandravenar
    epar
    toft
    hatcul
    t,I
    ’
    m notsur
    eyet
    .Appar
    ent
    lyt
    he
    headquart
    ersar
    einGhana.
    ”

    Me:
    “Acul
    t?”

    St
    yles:
    “Thatol
    dmani
    scapabl
    eofany
    thi
    ng,
    youshoul
    dknowt
    hatbynow.
    ”

    Tr
    ue.

    Me:
    “Ther
    ewasasnakei
    nAmar
    a’sbedl
    astni
    ght
    ,It
    hinkRav
    enputi
    tther
    e.”

    Thi
    nki
    ngabouti
    tmakesmesoangr
    yal
    lov
    eragai
    n.

    St
    yles:
    “I’
    m notsur
    pri
    sedhey
    ,thoset
    woar
    eev
    il
    .”

    Me:
    “Itdef
    ini
    tel
    ysui
    tsSegunnotRav
    en.He’
    smybr
    otherSt
    yles.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“Blooddoesnotmakeyouf ami
    ly,
    y oulear
    ntthatt
    hehar
    dwaywithSegunyear
    sago.The
    bastar
    di ssti
    ll
    aftery
    ou,hewil
    lneverr
    est.Nowt hatweknowwhathe’
    supto,weneedtof
    ind
    hi
    smot ivebehind,want
    ingt
    ouniteyouwiththatwoman.”

    Me:
    “Icoul
    djustki
    l
    lhi
    myouknow.
    ”

    Theur
    gei
    sther
    e.

    Styl
    es:“
    Itwon’
    tbeeasy
    ,it
    ’sadi
    ff
    erentst
    orywi
    thRut
    h.Thev
    irusi
    sready
    ,it
    ’sj
    ustcr
    avi
    ngf
    ora
    host.
    ”

    Hechuckl
    es,
    het
    akespr
    idei
    nhi
    sinv
    ent
    ions.

    Me:
    “Thatwasqui
    ck.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youknowme,
    Idon’
    twast
    eti
    me.
    ”
    Me:
    “Howwi
    l
    lshebeexposedt
    oit
    ?”

    Styl
    es:“That’
    sthetri
    ckypart
    ,Ithoughtapairofear
    ingswil
    ldo.Themomentshewearst
    hem,
    thevi
    ruswi ll
    spreadtoherears.I
    tonlysur
    vivesi
    nwar m pl
    acesandt
    hespr
    eadwill
    takeabouta
    fewmi nutes.
    ”

    Ishoul
    dbeter
    ri
    fi
    edofthi
    sman.You’dt
    hinkhe’
    sweakwhenKhet
    hui
    sinv
    olv
    edandt
    henhe
    goesanddoessomet
    hingli
    ket
    his.

    Me:
    “Howwi
    l
    lshegett
    heear
    ri
    ngs?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youar
    enotgoi
    ngt
    oli
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hel
    ook,
    he’
    sgi
    vi
    ngme.

    St
    yles:
    “Wel
    l
    ,si
    nceshei
    sher
    efory
    ouRandy
    ,It
    houghtmay
    be…”

    Isawt
    hiscomi
    ng.

    Me:
    “For
    geti
    t,Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    enearher
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’st
    heonl
    ywayRandal
    l
    .”

    Me:
    “Ther
    ehast
    obeanot
    herwaySt
    yles,
    Iwantnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thher
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “IknowandIgety
    oubr
    uhbut
    ,wecan’
    taskI
    fe.Youknowwomen,
    shewi
    l
    ltr
    ythem on.
    ”

    Me:
    “If
    eisout
    ,she’
    stooi
    nnocent
    .”

    Styl
    es:“
    Mypointexact
    ly,
    soy ouwil
    lappr
    oachherwi
    thagif
    t.I
    ’m pret
    tysureshehasn’
    tbeen
    tol
    dhowy oureal
    lyf
    eelaboutthi
    sarr
    angement,
    shewil
    lbeecstat
    ic.She’
    ll
    probabl
    yevenwear
    them ev
    eryday.
    ”

    Hesni
    gger
    s.

    I
    sitokayt
    hathe’
    senj
    oyi
    ngt
    his?

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknowSt
    yles,
    Idon’
    twantt
    oseeherf
    ace.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whatshoul
    dwedot
    hen?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    you’
    ret
    hegeni
    us,
    thi
    nkofsomet
    hing.
    ”

    Hegr
    owl
    s,I
    ’
    m annoy
    inghi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Yourst
    ubbor
    nnessst
    inks.
    ”

    Hehi
    sses.

    St
    yles:
    “Howi
    sitgoi
    ngwi
    thI
    feget
    ti
    ngt
    hepasspor
    t?”

    Me:
    “Shedoesn’
    twantt
    oseehi
    m,wehav
    etot
    hinkofsomet
    hingel
    se.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    twor
    ry,
    I’
    ll
    makeapl
    an.Neoi
    soccupi
    edatt
    hemoment
    .”
    Hei
    ntr
    oduces.

    Me:
    “Isheokay
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Tshi
    diwant
    stokeephi
    m awayf
    rom hi
    sson,
    shewant
    smoney
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    m notsur
    pri
    sed,
    thatgi
    rli
    sinsane.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Yeah,
    Neoi
    sst
    rong.Hewi
    l
    lfi
    ndawayout
    ,hebet
    terorhewi
    l
    lnev
    erbet
    hesamei
    fhe
    l
    osesthatboy
    .”

    Thi
    sist
    hehonestt
    rut
    h,Neol
    i
    vesf
    ort
    hatboy
    .

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    he’
    ssmar
    t.Hewi
    l
    lthi
    nkofsomet
    hing.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Al
    thoughIhav
    epl
    anBj
    usti
    ncasehi
    s,doesn’
    twor
    kout
    .”

    Hest
    ateswi
    thagr
    in.

    Me:
    “Doesn’
    tthatbr
    ainofy
    our
    sev
    ergett
    ir
    ed?
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Thatwoul
    dbet
    heendofme.
    ”

    Iact
    ual
    l
    ybel
    i
    evet
    hatt
    oo,
    thi
    sisSt
    yles.I
    t’
    swhohei
    sandi
    t’
    swhathedoesbest
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    87*

    MBUSO*

    We’redri
    vi
    nghomefrom Zodwa’
    shouse,shegav
    eLel
    ohol
    ywat
    erandpr
    ayedov
    ert
    hewhi
    te
    cl
    oth.Shesai
    dtouseitf
    ortheti
    mebeing.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    fathome,
    Ineedt
    omeetupwi
    thmyf
    ather
    .”

    Ipr
    esentmyst
    oryt
    oher
    ,Lel
    ohasbeent
    ooqui
    etsi
    ncewegoti
    nthecar
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Okay
    .”

    Igi
    veherabr
    iefl
    ook.

    Me:
    “Doy
    ouwantt
    otal
    kabouti
    t?”

    Shesi
    ghsheav
    il
    y,she’
    shar
    dlyev
    ersad.

    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    m wor
    ri
    edaboutmybaby
    .”

    Me:
    “He’
    sfi
    ne,
    youhav
    enot
    hingt
    owor
    ryabout
    .”

    Thesi
    ghagai
    n.

    Lel
    o:“Idon’
    tknowMbuso,somuchhasbeenhappeni
    ng.Youknowmyprobl
    emsbeganwhenI
    fel
    lpr
    egnant.Fi
    rstAmar
    awentmissi
    ng,
    Zumaturnedouttobetr
    ashandnowthi
    s.”

    Ihat
    eitwhenshement
    ionst
    hati
    diot
    ’sname.

    Me:
    “Tr
    ynott
    othi
    nksomuchLel
    o,st
    ressi
    snotgoodf
    ort
    hebaby
    .”

    Lel
    o:“
    Ican’
    thel
    pit
    ,Mbusowhati
    fmysoni
    scur
    sed?
    ”

    Isensewor
    ryi
    nhert
    one.

    Me:“Don’
    tsaythatpl
    ease,
    mam’ Zodwaexplai
    nedwhyalloft
    hisi
    shappeni
    ng.Ther
    e’sawicked
    womanoutt her
    e,whodoesn’
    twanttoseeyouhappy.Shewil
    lbedeal
    twit
    h,shewil
    lpayf
    orall
    herevi
    ldeeds.
    ”

    Ihat
    ei twhenLel
    ost
    ressesliket
    his.It
    akeherhandi
    ntomi
    newhi
    l
    etr
    yingt
    ofocusont
    her
    oad,
    sheglancesatmeandflashesaquicksmil
    e.

    Me:
    “YouknowGokuwi
    l
    lhav
    egr
    eyhai
    rwhenhe’
    sbor
    n?”

    Thi
    soughtt
    ogetherat
    tent
    ion.

    Lel
    o:“
    What
    ?”

    Herbr
    owsr
    iseasherf
    acet
    akesupaconf
    usedexpr
    essi
    on.
    Me:“
    Yes,
    you’
    llgi
    vebir
    thtoanol
    dman.Whatdot
    heycal
    lthem?Soncl
    e,ababywhol
    ooksl
    i
    ke
    anol
    dman.”(
    Son/uncl
    e.)

    Shegaspsi
    nshock,
    tear
    sfi
    l
    lupi
    nherey
    es.Wr
    ongt
    imet
    ocr
    ackaj
    oke,
    she’
    ssensi
    ti
    veatt
    he
    moment.

    Lel
    o:“
    Didmam’
    Zodwat
    ell
    yout
    his?
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    I’
    m ki
    ddi
    ng.Iwasj
    ustt
    ryi
    ngt
    omakey
    oul
    augh.
    ”

    Shecl
    enchesherey
    esandbr
    eat
    hesdeepl
    y.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    t…”

    Lel
    o:“
    It
    ’sokay
    ,mymi
    ndi
    soccupi
    edt
    hati
    tfai
    l
    edt
    oaccepty
    ourbi
    l
    tongj
    oke.
    ”

    Okay
    .

    Contr
    oll
    ingmylaughhasbecomeami ssi
    on,shelooksatmewithasweetsmi
    leonherface.
    Usual
    lyshe’
    dlaughal
    ongwithme,todayshecanonl yst
    ret
    chasmil
    e.I
    ’
    llt
    akeanyt
    hingshe
    gi
    ves,i
    fitmeansherhear
    tisgr
    ati
    fi
    edatthispresentmoment.

    Me:
    “Ar
    emyj
    okest
    hatdr
    y?”

    Shenods.

    Lel
    o:“
    Sodr
    y.”

    Shecl
    owns.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,I’
    l
    lst
    op.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    No,
    no.Theymi
    ghtbedr
    ybut
    ,theygetmet
    hrought
    heday
    .”

    Me:
    “Isee,
    int
    hatcase,
    begme.
    ”

    Shemakesaf
    ace.

    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    m sor
    ry,
    what
    ?”

    Me:
    “Begmet
    okeept
    hem comi
    ngorI
    ’
    llst
    op.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Shame,
    Ihav
    eal
    readynur
    sedt
    hatbi
    gheadofy
    our
    s.I
    fIkeept
    hisup,
    itwi
    l
    lsur
    elyex
    plode.
    ”

    Shest
    atesinasar
    cast
    ict
    one,
    sway
    ingheraway
    ,fr
    om herpr
    obl
    emswor
    ked.Herf
    acenol
    onger
    hol
    dsafrown.

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbusowat
    chout
    ?”

    Shescr
    eams,ther
    e’saloudscr
    eechi
    ngsoundasIl
    urchthecartot
    heside,shi
    rki
    ngtheman
    who’
    scrossi
    ngthestr
    eet.Imanaget
    ogaincont
    rol
    ofitandparkonthesideofther
    oad.

    Me:
    “Lel
    oar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    She’
    smyf
    ir
    stt
    hought
    ,shenodswhi
    l
    etr
    yingt
    ocat
    chherbr
    eat
    h.
    Lel
    o:“
    I’
    mfi
    ne,
    arey
    ouokay
    ?”

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    whoi
    sthati
    diot
    ?”

    Sheshr
    ugshershoul
    der
    s,Idashoutoft
    hecart
    ochecki
    fIdi
    dn’
    thi
    tany
    one.

    I
    ’
    m bei
    ngt
    est
    edher
    e.

    “
    Whatt
    hehel
    lwer
    etr
    yingt
    odo?
    ”

    It
    wistmyheadbacktothecar,
    Leloisfr
    ozenIdon’
    tknowifshe’
    sshockedorafr
    aidbut,her
    ey
    esareampli
    fi
    ed.Theyareengrossedonthi
    sidi
    ot.Wehadtobumpintohimtoday,ofallday
    s.

    Zuma:“Werey
    outr
    yingt
    oki
    l
    lme?Thi
    sist
    hepr
    obl
    em wi
    thpeopl
    ethathav
    ecar
    s,y
    out
    hinkt
    he
    roadbel
    ongst
    oyou.
    ”

    He’
    syel
    l
    ingandIf
    ail
    tof
    indt
    her
    easonbehi
    ndt
    hat
    .Themani
    snoti
    njur
    edatal
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Look,
    I’
    m sor
    ry.Idi
    dn’
    tseey
    out
    her
    e.”

    Zuma:
    “Sor
    ry?Ishoul
    drepor
    tyouf
    orr
    eckl
    essdr
    ivi
    ng.
    ”

    Whyishepushingthi
    s?Myey eskeepgoingbackandf ort
    h, f
    rom hi
    mt oLelo.Shehasn’
    t
    r
    emov edherey
    esf r
    om him, Ican’
    tseem tograspwhatthismeans.Zodwa’ swordsfl
    oodmy
    mindandawav eofwor r
    yrushesov erme.Isshestil
    laff
    ectedbyhim?Hedoesn’ tdeser
    vet
    hose
    t
    earsfloodi
    ngi
    nherey es,t
    hef actt
    hatshe’scryi
    ngforhim cutsdeep.Thi
    sonei st
    oobusy
    f
    ocusedoncompl ai
    ningthathecan’tseeLelointhecar.

    Me:
    “Look,
    Isai
    dI’
    m sor
    ry,
    excuseme.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Wai
    t,Iknowy
    ouf
    rom somewher
    e.”

    HespeaksasIst
    artt
    owal
    kaway
    ,Iwashopi
    ngt
    hathewoul
    dn’
    trecogni
    zeme.

    Zuma:
    “You’
    re…”

    Li
    kehefi
    guredoutsomethinghet
    urnshi
    sheadt
    othecar
    ,hi
    smout
    hfor
    msagr
    inashi
    sey
    es
    fi
    ndLel
    o.She’
    ssniver
    ingnow.

    Whydoessheal
    l
    owhi
    mtoseeheri
    ntear
    s?Hewi
    l
    ltakej
    oyi
    nthem.

    Zuma:
    “Nombul
    elo?
    ”

    Me:
    “Youst
    ayawayf
    rom her
    .”

    Idemand,Iknowt
    hatl
    ook.Mosti
    diot
    shav
    ethem,
    he’
    saboutt
    oappr
    oachherandapol
    ogi
    sef
    or
    hi
    sstupi
    dity.

    Zuma:
    “Nombul
    elo.
    ”

    Her
    ushest
    ohersi
    deoft
    hecar
    ,shet
    urnsherheadt
    olookathi
    m.

    Whyi
    ssheent
    ert
    aini
    nghi
    m?

    Thi
    smanwasonceherweakness,
    Isawhowshecr
    iedf
    orhi
    m.
    Me:
    “Hey
    ,getawayf
    rom her
    .”

    Iy
    ell
    asIr
    usht
    ohi
    m,Iam r
    eadyt
    ofi
    ghtf
    orher
    .

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,howar
    eyou?I
    ’
    vebeenl
    ooki
    ngf
    ory
    ou.Canwet
    alk,
    sthandwasam’
    ?”(
    Myl
    ove.
    )

    Mybiggestfearj
    ustcametopass,t
    hisi
    swhenIwishwehadn’tmetZodwa.Lel
    owasbet
    terof
    f
    t
    hinki
    ngthismanhat edher
    ,nowsheknowshehaslov
    eforherinhi
    sheart
    .

    Me:
    “Pi
    ssof
    fman.
    ”

    Ipushhi
    m andhepushesmeback.

    Zuma:
    “Wat
    chi
    tcheeseboy
    ,that
    ’smywomani
    nther
    e.”

    Me:
    “Shei
    snot
    hingt
    oyou,
    youbast
    ard.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Whoar
    eyou?
    ”

    Hebar
    ksatme.

    Me:“
    Themani nherl
    i
    fenowandIwil
    lpr
    otectherf
    rom t
    hel
    i
    kesofy
    ou.Youwi
    l
    lnev
    er,
    ever
    comenearherasl
    ongasI’
    m ar
    ound.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbusol
    et’
    sgo.
    ”

    Whendi
    dshegetoutoft
    hecar
    ?”

    She’
    sst
    il
    li
    ntear
    s.

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,canwet
    alkbabypl
    ease?Tal
    ktoy
    ourZuzu,
    sthandwasami
    .”(
    Myl
    ove.
    )

    Ican’tstandtohearhim cal
    lherthat
    ,Iturnt
    owalkbackt
    ot hecar.Hehur
    ri
    esaft
    erme,headed
    forLelo.Shestandsfrozen,
    tearsstr
    eakingherf
    aceandwide-ey
    ed.Herbodyi
    strembl
    i
    ng,I
    can’ttel
    lifi
    t’
    sfrom f
    earorhistouch.

    Zuma:
    “Lel
    o,ar
    eyouokay
    ?I’
    m sor
    ry,
    I’
    m sor
    ryf
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ngIdi
    dtoy
    ou.
    ”

    Hepleadswhil
    eleeri
    ngint
    oherey
    es.Whyi
    sshenotpul
    l
    ingawayfr
    om hi
    m?Sheshoul
    dbe
    di
    sgustedbyhi
    st ouch,
    thi
    smanisther
    eal
    embodi
    mentoftr
    ash.

    Ihav
    enev
    eraccept
    edsuchangerbef
    ore.

    Ipushhi
    m awayf
    rom her
    ,fol
    l
    owedbyabl
    owt
    hatsendshi
    m cr
    ashi
    ngont
    hef
    loor
    .

    Me:
    “Howdar
    eyout
    ouchher
    ?”

    Ihowl
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Mbuso?
    ”

    Shescreamsasitsuddenl
    yregi
    ster
    stoherwhatIhav
    edone, she’
    ssquatt
    ingbeforehi
    min
    fl
    ash,i
    nspect
    inghi
    swoundedl i
    p.Myhear
    thasneverfel
    tsuchpainbefor
    e,Ineversawthi
    s
    coming.
    Lel
    o:“
    Arey
    ouokay
    ?”

    Henodswhi
    l
    ecol
    dlygl
    ari
    ngatme,
    shehel
    pshi
    m up.

    Me:
    “Lel
    o,whati
    sthi
    s?”

    Lel
    o:“
    Youdi
    dn’
    thav
    etohi
    thi
    m.”

    Herey
    esabandonmeasshesay
    sthi
    s,i
    t’
    sasi
    fhe’
    sal
    lshecoul
    dseeandIhav
    eceasedt
    oexi
    st
    i
    nherwor
    ld.

    Zuma:
    “I’
    mfi
    nest
    handwasami
    .”(
    Myl
    ove.
    )

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoust
    opcal
    l
    inghert
    hat
    ?”

    Isnap,Ican’
    tloseher
    ,especi
    all
    ynott
    othi
    sidi
    ot.Howdoesshest
    il
    lcar
    eforhi
    m af
    terwhathe
    didtoher?

    Me:
    “Lel
    olet
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Zuma:
    “Pl
    ease,gi
    vemeachancetoexpl
    ain.Ihaven’
    tbeenabl
    etosl
    eepLelo,Iwentt
    oEverton
    i
    nsear
    chforyoubut
    ,youruncl
    eswer
    ethere.Icoul
    dn’
    tgeti
    nthehouse,
    Ijustneedoneminute.
    ”

    Hepleads,
    Icanhearthedesperati
    oninhistone.That’sit
    ,Iwi
    llnotstandforthi
    s.Ir
    ushtoher
    andgrabherhand,
    shedoesn’tprotestasIl
    ughert owardsthecar .Iopenthedoorf
    orherand
    waitf
    orhertogeti
    n,shetur
    nsbackathi m andanot hersti
    ngtargetsmyhear t
    ,

    Itol
    dher ,It
    oldLelothatshehasn’theal
    edyet.Thi
    sismyfault
    ,Itookthi
    ngst
    oofast
    .I
    expressedmy selftoosoon.Icoul
    dn’twai
    ttohaveherthat
    ,Ipushedreal
    it
    youtt
    hewindowand
    nowI ’
    mf acingtheconsequencesofmyact i
    ons.Onedayeveryt
    hingseemsperf
    ectandthenext
    i
    tallcomescr ashingbeforeyou.

    Thi
    sisgoi
    ngt
    obeal
    ongdr
    ivebackhome.

    STYLES*

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,IcameassoonasIcoul
    d.”

    We’r
    eatBarahospi
    tal,
    Set
    hucal
    ledmesay
    inghermot
    herwasbr
    oughtt
    othehospi
    tal
    .Ihadt
    o
    dr
    opever
    ythi
    ngandr usht
    oher.

    Set
    hu:
    “Mom i
    snotokay
    ,shehadapani
    cat
    tack.
    ”

    Iseehermot
    heri
    sasdr
    amat
    icasLebo.

    Me:
    “Why
    ?”

    Set
    hu:“
    Shewaswithmyauntwhensher
    ecei
    vedacal
    lthatLebohasbeenar
    rest
    ed.Cany
    ou
    bel
    i
    eveLebohasbeenar
    rest
    ed?
    ”
    Me:
    “Notr
    eal
    l
    y,i
    tsui
    tshert
    hough.
    ”

    Shegasps.

    Me:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    ist
    her
    eany
    thi
    ngIcando?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “You’
    reher
    e,i
    t’
    smor
    ethanenough.
    ”

    Me:
    “Hav
    eyouhear
    dany
    thi
    ngsi
    ncey
    oubr
    oughtherher
    e.”

    Set
    hu:
    “No,
    myf
    atheri
    sont
    heway
    .Hewasatwor
    kwhenwehear
    dthenews.
    ”

    If
    indi
    tst
    ranget
    hathermot
    herwoul
    dbet
    hishur
    tbyherni
    ece’
    sar
    rest
    ed.

    Me:
    “WhataboutLebo’
    smom?
    ”

    Shet
    urnst
    opointatawomanwho’ sseat
    edonabench,shecoul
    dbeinherl
    atef
    if
    ti
    es.Shehas
    acal
    m poi
    se,
    you’dsweart
    hatherdaught
    eri
    snotcaughtupinsomeshi
    t.

    Me:
    “That
    ’sLebo’
    smot
    her
    ?”

    Shenods.

    Me:
    “DoessheknowaboutLebo?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Yes.”

    Imightbereadingtoomuchint
    othisbut
    ,theset
    wowomenareconceal
    i
    ngasecr
    et.Howi
    sshe
    cal
    m whil
    eSet hu’
    smothersuff
    ersanatt
    ackuponhear
    ingt
    henews?

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,isi
    twi
    sef
    ormet
    obeher
    e?”

    Set
    hu:
    “Idon’
    tunder
    stand?
    ”

    Me:
    “Yousai
    dyourf
    atheri
    sonhi
    sway
    .”

    Shebit
    esherpi
    nkyfi
    nger
    ,Ihaven’
    tseenthatinawhil
    e.Itakeherhandandsheglancesupat
    me,Ismil
    eathershy
    ness.Shewil
    lneverletgooft
    histr
    ait,IdoubtIwanthert
    ochange.

    Me:
    “Di
    dIt
    ell
    youhowmuchIl
    i
    key
    ou?
    ”

    Shet
    akesasof
    tfr
    ownduet
    omyr
    andom quest
    ion.

    Me:
    “Il
    i
    key
    oual
    ot,
    youhav
    enoi
    dea,
    youar
    esuchgr
    eatcompanyandIenj
    oyt
    alki
    ngt
    oyou.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    esanddr
    opshergaze.

    “
    Set
    hu?
    ”

    Thef
    ir
    mfemi
    ninev
    oice,
    compel
    shert
    opul
    lherhandawayf
    rom meandswi
    vel
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Aunt
    y.”

    Aunt
    :“Whoi
    sthi
    syoungman?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Aunt
    y?”
    I
    ’m standi
    ngnexttoSethu,t
    oocloseifImightaddandt hi
    sisprobabl
    ysendingthewr
    ong
    messaget othewoman.Sethuseemst ohav eacertai
    nfearforherel
    ders,i
    tcoul
    dberespect
    ,
    I
    ’m notquit
    esure.Icanhearherbreat
    hingquicken,
    confir
    mingherfears.

    Aunt
    :“Themannextt
    oyou,
    hewashol
    dingy
    ourhand.I
    shemysoni
    n-l
    aw?
    ”

    It
    hinkI
    ’
    m goi
    ngt
    oli
    keaunt
    y.

    Set
    hu:
    “No,
    aunt
    yhe’
    smyf
    ri
    end.
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lpr
    etendt
    hatshedi
    dn’
    tsayt
    hatwor
    d.

    Herauntsmi
    l
    esatme.

    Aunt
    :“I
    sthatwhati
    t’
    scal
    l
    ednow?I
    nmyday
    sitwascal
    l
    edar
    elat
    ionshi
    p.”

    Set
    hudr
    opshergazer
    eti
    cent
    ly.

    Aunt
    :“Youngman,
    youhav
    emydaught
    erbl
    ushi
    ng.What
    ’st
    hest
    ory
    ?”

    She’
    scar
    ri
    esawar
    m wel
    comi
    ngsmi
    l
    e,she’
    sof
    fi
    cial
    l
    ymyf
    avour
    it
    e.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e'sast
    orybr
    ewi
    ngbut
    ,shewon’
    tadmi
    ttoany
    thi
    ngaunt
    ybecauseshe’
    sshy
    .”

    Set
    hul
    ooksupatme,
    shesmi
    l
    eswhenIwi
    nkather
    .

    Aunt
    y:“
    Iknowher
    ,she’
    sver
    yshy
    .Mychi
    l
    ddeser
    vest
    obehappy
    ,tr
    eatherr
    ightmyson.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    launt
    y.”

    Idecl
    areasIt
    akeSet
    hu’
    shand,
    shet
    ri
    est
    opul
    li
    taway
    .Mygr
    ipst
    ands.

    Set
    hu:
    “Aunt
    y,i
    t’
    snotl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”

    Aunt
    y:“
    Imi
    ghtbeol
    dSet
    hubut
    ,Iseet
    heset
    hings.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    owal
    khi
    m out
    .”

    Aunt
    y:“
    Okay
    ,gowel
    lyoungman.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwi
    l
    launt
    y.”

    Set
    hu:
    “Whatwast
    hat
    ?”

    Sheasksaswewal
    kaway
    .

    Me:
    “Thet
    rut
    h.”

    Set
    hu:
    “No,
    youl
    i
    edt
    omyaunt
    .”

    Me:
    “CanIhol
    dyourhand?I
    ’
    m usedt
    ohol
    dingy
    ourhandwhi
    l
    ewewal
    k.”

    Ideci
    det
    omov
    eawayf
    rom t
    hist
    opi
    c.

    Ir
    eachf
    orherhand,
    shehi
    desi
    tfr
    om me.
    Me:
    “Don’
    tbeshyki
    tt
    en.
    ”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Set
    hu:
    “Ar
    eyout
    eami
    ngupwi
    thmyauntt
    omockme?
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tdot
    hat
    .”

    Sethu:
    “Thatwomani sfunnythough,she’
    sdi
    ff
    erentfrom mymother.Don’tgetmewrongIlove
    mymot herbut,
    she’sal
    way spoint
    ingoutmymistakes.It
    hinksheexpectsmet obeperf
    ectand
    for
    getsthatI
    ’m human.
    ”

    Me:
    “Shepr
    obabl
    ywant
    sthebestf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Shehuf
    fs.

    Sethu:“
    Iwi
    shIsawi
    tli
    ket
    hatbut
    ,that
    ’snott
    hemessageshebr
    ingsacr
    oss.Aunt
    yisdi
    ff
    erent
    ,
    she’sal
    way
    sencour
    agi
    ngme.”

    Me:
    “Youseem t
    obef
    ondofher
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Iam,
    she’
    smor
    eli
    keamot
    hert
    ome.
    ”

    Ir
    eachouttotakeherhand,
    shedoesn’
    tobj
    ectbut
    ,asmi
    l
    epassest
    hroughherf
    ace.It
    hinkI
    ’
    m
    wi
    nningherheart
    .

    Me:
    “Hav
    eyoubeencampi
    ngbef
    ore?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “No.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    akey
    oucampi
    ng.
    ”

    It
    akeherot
    herhandaswest
    opatt
    heexi
    tdoor
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Int
    hewoods?
    ”

    Hert
    onehasmel
    aughi
    ng.

    Me:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    tht
    hewoods?
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “You’
    reaski
    ngabl
    ackper
    son,
    what
    ’swr
    ongwi
    tht
    hewoods?
    ”

    Me:“
    Hey,it
    ’sapeacef
    ulpl
    ace.You’
    resur
    roundedbynatur
    eandever
    ythi
    ngel
    sef
    all
    saway
    ,ify
    ou
    t
    houghtpuppi
    eswerether
    apeuti
    c,wai
    tti
    l
    lyougettothewoods.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    dchoosepuppi
    esany
    time.
    ”

    Shest
    atesi
    nasar
    cast
    ict
    one.

    Me:
    “You’
    remi
    ssi
    ngouty
    ouknow.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “It
    ’sf
    ine,
    letmemi
    ssout
    .”

    Shehasmel aughi
    ng,t
    hisi
    speaceri
    ghther
    e.Iam si
    ckoft
    ryi
    ngtopret
    endthatIcanli
    ve
    wit
    houther
    ,ifIcoul
    dtel
    lherwhat
    ’si
    nmyheart,Iwoul
    ddoitwit
    houtanyhesi
    tat
    ion.Her
    shy
    nessder
    idesherasmydeepgazest
    absherey
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Thanky
    ouf
    orbei
    ngher
    e.”

    Shepr ocl
    aimsbashf
    ully
    ,att
    hispointIam temptedtohol
    dher.Ii
    ncir
    clemyarmsaroundher ,
    pull
    ingherint
    oabear-hug.I
    ttakesawhi l
    eforhertohol
    dmeback, Ismil
    easherarmshook
    aroundmyneck.Thisisthefi
    rstti
    meIhol dherli
    kethi
    sanddamn, i
    tfeel
    ssogood.Ev er
    ythi
    ng
    aroundmef adesawayandonl ysheexisti
    nthismoment.Not
    hingelsematt
    ersbut,havi
    ngher
    i
    nmyar ms.

    If
    eelafor
    ceful
    gri
    passhe’
    sbeingpul
    l
    edawayfr
    om me,Il
    ookuptoseeami
    ddl
    eagedmen.He
    l
    ooksangryashel
    l
    ,Set
    huister
    ri
    fi
    edasshe’
    sbei
    nghaul
    edawaybythi
    sman.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”

    Hest
    opsandshoot
    smeast
    abbi
    nggaze.

    Hi
    m:“
    Youst
    ayt
    hehel
    lawayf
    rom mydaught
    er.
    ”

    Hegr
    owlswhi
    l
    epointi
    ngatmewithhisfor
    efi
    nger
    .Thi
    sisherf
    ather
    ?Whati swrongwi
    tht
    his
    f
    amil
    y?Thi
    sgi
    rli
    soldenough,
    sheisnotachil
    d.Whyaret
    heysoprotect
    iveofher
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Dadpl
    ease,
    you’
    rehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”

    Hehasat
    ightgr
    iponherupperar
    m.

    Him:“
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngtotal
    ktoyounow,wewil
    ltal
    kathome.Yourmot
    heri
    sly
    ingonahospi
    tal
    bedandyou’
    rebusyhuggi
    ngstr
    angemeninhospit
    alcor
    ri
    dor
    s.”

    Hesnapsather
    ,shef
    li
    nchesashet
    ight
    enst
    hegr
    iponherar
    m.

    Thesepeopl ear
    eobsessedoverthi
    sgir
    l,t
    her
    eisnoquesti
    onthat
    ,Set
    hu’
    sli
    fei
    sl oadedwi
    th
    ri
    ddles.Diggi
    nginherpr
    ivacywouldbewrongofme,Iwanthert
    ocomplet
    elyt
    rustmeand
    hopefull
    yonedayshewi l
    lopenup.

    Me:
    “Si
    ryou’
    rehur
    ti
    ngher
    .”

    Hescowl
    s.

    Hi
    m:“
    Stayawayf
    rom mydaught
    er.
    ”

    Hedemandsashel
    ugsheraway,
    sheoglesatmeandgest
    uresthatshe’
    ssorr
    y.Ican’
    tst
    ay
    away
    ,Iam mor
    eeagernow,
    tohaveheri
    nmyl i
    feandt
    hisf
    amilywil
    lhandhertome.

    RANDALL*

    Ioptedt
    hatwemeetatarestaur
    antthanatmyhouse,Ipl
    ant
    oconf
    rontRav
    enabouthi
    s
    suddenchangeofchar
    act
    er.I
    tworr
    iesmet hathe’
    snotonmysi
    de.

    Iseehi
    m wal
    ki
    ngi
    nwi
    thSegun,
    Rav
    enbesi
    deshi
    m asi
    fSeguni
    samagnett
    hatpul
    l
    shi
    m cl
    oser
    .
    Icanhar
    dlyr
    ecognizehi
    m, t
    hisol
    dmaniscontr
    oll
    ingmybrot
    herandIwil
    lhav
    et or
    escuehim
    fr
    om hi
    sclut
    ches,SegunknowsRaven’
    sweaknessandhe,
    himselfi
    sthat
    .Sur
    elyanarci
    ssi
    st
    l
    ikehi
    m can’
    tcareaboutsomeonewhoisnothi
    sblood.

    Iwi
    l
    lhav
    etoaskmot
    herhowRav
    enwasbr
    oughtabout
    .

    Ir
    iseupast
    heyappr
    oachmyt
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “Br
    other
    .”

    Henods,
    nothi
    susual
    greet
    ing.Idon’
    tbl
    amehi
    m but
    ,thi
    sol
    dmanbesi
    dehi
    m.

    Segun:
    “Youar
    eat
    oughmant
    oreachUze,
    youbannedmef
    rom y
    ourhouseandr
    efuset
    omeet
    wit
    hme. ”

    He’
    sal
    way
    scr
    abby
    .

    Me:
    “We’
    reher
    enowf
    ather
    ,let
    ’sgett
    oit
    .Ihav
    ethi
    ngst
    odo.
    ”

    Isi
    t,t
    heyf
    oll
    owaf
    ter
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    ost
    ret
    cht
    his.Whatwasy
    ourgoal
    wheny
    oupl
    ant
    edt
    hesnakei
    nmyhouse?
    ”

    Rav
    endr
    opshi
    sgaze,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotbl
    amehi
    mfort
    his.

    Segun:
    “Whatar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    osayUz
    e?Whendi
    dIcomet
    oyourhouse?
    ”

    Hewi
    l
    ldenyi
    t,i
    t'
    sagi
    ven.

    Me:
    “Yousentmybr
    othert
    omyhouset
    odoy
    ourdi
    rt
    ywor
    kSegun.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Ist
    hiswhaty
    out
    hinkofmeUz
    e?”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tbl
    amey
    ouRav
    en,
    fat
    herhasbr
    ainwashedy
    ou.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Ar
    eyousay
    ingIcan’
    tthi
    nkf
    ormy
    sel
    f?”

    Me:“I
    ’m cl
    earl
    ysayi
    ngthatfat
    heri
    susingyou,
    you’
    remybr
    otherRav
    .Wegr
    ewupt
    oget
    her
    ,I
    don’
    tknowy outobethi
    stypeofaperson.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Peopl
    echangeUze,
    youl
    eftandIhadt
    ogr
    owup,
    thatmeantchange.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Uze,
    thi
    sisnotwhywewant
    edt
    omeet
    .”

    Me:
    “Whyam Iher
    ethen?
    ”

    Segun:
    “Yourgr
    andmot
    herhaspassedaway
    ,sur
    elyy
    oucan’
    tmi
    ssherf
    uner
    al.
    ”

    Thi
    scan’
    tbet
    rue.

    Me:
    “You’
    rel
    yi
    ng.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Wecangety
    ourmot
    heronv
    ideocal
    lnow,
    ify
    oudon’
    tbel
    i
    eveme.
    ”

    Il
    ookatRav
    en,
    hisey
    esar
    ered.He’
    sbeencr
    ying.
    Rav
    en:
    “It
    ’st
    rue,
    she’
    sgoneman.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ist
    hisaj
    okef
    ather
    ?Howf
    arwi
    l
    lyougot
    ogetmet
    oadher
    etoy
    ourdemands?
    ”

    Segun:
    “Whywoul
    dIl
    i
    eaboutmymot
    herUze?
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    obel
    i
    eve,
    thel
    ookont
    hei
    rfacesar
    ethatofsadness.Thenagai
    n,t
    heycoul
    d
    belyi
    ngtome.

    Segun:
    “Li
    yana’
    sli
    fei
    satr
    isk,
    youhav
    etobr
    ingherhome.
    ”

    Me:
    “Shei
    shome.
    ”

    Segun:
    “YouknowwhatImean.
    ”

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouknowshewassi
    ckt
    hatday
    ?”

    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    oheart
    hisone.

    Segun:
    “Justl
    i
    keIknewwher
    etof
    indy
    ou.
    ”

    Thi
    smani
    squi
    ckt
    othi
    nki
    ng.

    “
    Ifi
    tisn’
    ttheOkol
    i
    ebast
    ard.
    ”

    Il
    ookupt
    oseeMkhi
    ze,
    thi
    sfool
    hast
    heaudaci
    tyt
    oappr
    oachme.

    Me:
    “Youhav
    esomener
    ve,
    comi
    ngher
    e.”

    Ipul
    lmychai
    rbackasIgetup.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Thi
    sisapubl
    i
    cspaceOkol
    i
    e.”

    Her
    etor
    ts.

    Me:
    “Keepy
    ourdi
    stancef
    rom me,
    Idon’
    tgetwhyy
    out
    houghty
    oucoul
    dappr
    oachme.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mkhize:
    “Justtotel
    lyout
    hatI
    ’
    m ont
    oyouOkol
    i
    e,y
    oucan’
    tst
    eal
    from meandt
    hinkIwi
    l
    l
    appl
    audy oufori
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    ze,
    getoutofmysi
    ghtbef
    oreIl
    osemycool
    wit
    hyou.
    ”

    Segun:
    “Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngokay
    ?”

    Hest
    andsupasheenqui
    res.

    Me:
    “Not
    hingIcan’
    thandl
    e.”

    Ir
    espond,
    dismi
    ssi
    nghi
    ssuddenneedt
    ohel
    p.

    Mkhize:
    “ I
    ’
    llbeoutofy
    oursi
    ght
    ,don’
    twor
    ry,
    justknowt
    hatIam notaqui
    tt
    erOkol
    i
    e.Iwi
    l
    lhav
    e
    whatbelongstome.”

    Segun:
    “Ar
    eyout
    hreat
    eni
    ngmyson?
    ”
    Hegr
    owl
    sathi
    m,Mkhi
    zegr
    insi
    nret
    urn.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Notat
    hreatbut
    ,apr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Me:
    “Ov
    ermydeadbody
    .”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Oh,
    Okol
    i
    e.Car
    eful
    whaty
    ouwi
    shf
    or.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youhav
    eadeat
    hwi
    shMkhi
    ze,
    tal
    ki
    ngt
    omel
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Hel
    aughsbef
    orewal
    ki
    ngaway
    .Wher
    edi
    dhegett
    heconf
    idencet
    hathecar
    ri
    es.

    Segun:
    “Uze.
    ”

    Me:
    “Rav
    en,
    canIhav
    eawor
    dwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Segunbet
    ternoti
    nter
    fer
    einmyl
    i
    fe.

    Rav
    enhesi
    tat
    esabi
    t.

    Rav
    en:
    “I’
    l
    lbebackf
    ather
    .”

    Segunappear
    stobeagai
    nstt
    his,
    insi
    l
    enceweambl
    eoutoft
    her
    est
    aur
    ant
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Heasksaswegett
    othecar
    ,ther
    e’scol
    dnessi
    nhi
    svoi
    ce.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngonwi
    thy
    ouRav
    en?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”

    Hi
    sdemeanourt
    ell
    smet
    hathei
    snoti
    nter
    est
    edi
    ntal
    ki
    ngt
    ome.
    ”

    Me:“You’
    vechanged,Idon’
    tunder
    stand.You’
    renott
    heRavenImetwhenIopenedmyey
    est
    hat
    day
    ,thatwasmybr ot
    herandIdon’tknowwhoI ’
    mlooki
    ngatri
    ghtnow.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Ihav
    en’
    tchangedbr
    o,t
    hisi
    sther
    eal
    me.Whi
    l
    eyouont
    heot
    herhand.
    ”

    Me:“Raven,
    don’
    tyouseewhathe’
    sdoi
    ng?Don’
    tlethi
    m comebet
    weenus,
    you’
    remybr
    other
    andIneedyouonmyside.
    ”

    Raven:
    “FatherandIneedy
    ouonoursi
    det
    ooRandy
    ,can’
    tyoust
    opf
    oronceandseet
    hings
    fr
    om hi
    sv i
    ew? ”

    Iam t
    alki
    ngt
    oawal
    lher
    e.

    Me:
    “Youwantmet
    oacceptt
    hatwomanasmywi
    fe?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “No,
    that
    ’snoti
    t.Iwanty
    out
    ogi
    vef
    atherachance.
    ”

    Me:
    “Rav
    ,youknowv
    erywel
    lthatf
    atherwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    etmemar
    ryt
    hewomanIhav
    echosen.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Wecanconv
    incehi
    m,af
    tery
    ouhav
    ebecomeKi
    ng,
    hishear
    twi
    l
    lbeatpeacewhen
    y
    ou’
    reseat
    edont
    het
    hrone.He’
    l
    lhav
    etoagr
    eet
    oyourneeds.
    ”

    Hei
    snotmaki
    nganysense,
    clear
    lyt
    hiswi
    l
    lnotbl
    owov
    eranyt
    imesoon.

    Me:
    “Youknowt
    aki
    ngupt
    het
    hronewoul
    dmeant
    hatIgi
    veconsentt
    othi
    ssham ofamar
    ri
    age.
    ”

    It
    ryt
    omakehi
    m seer
    eason,
    henods.

    Raven:“
    Iknowy
    oul
    oveAmar
    aandonedayy
    ouwi
    l
    lgett
    obewi
    thher
    ,justf
    ulf
    ily
    ourdut
    iesf
    ir
    st
    then…”

    Hehascear
    lyl
    osthi
    smi
    nd.

    Me:
    “Youwantmet
    oaskhert
    owai
    tformewhi
    l
    eIl
    i
    vewi
    thanot
    herwoman?
    ”

    I
    ’
    mt ryi
    ngtomakesenseoft
    his,
    mymi
    ndst
    il
    lref
    usest
    oacceptt
    hatmybr
    otherhast
    urnedt
    o
    t
    hisperson.

    Rav
    en:
    “Ifshel
    ovesy
    ou,
    shewi
    l
    lwai
    t.
    ”

    Thener
    veoft
    hisman.

    Me:“
    You’
    recrazy,
    Idon’
    tknowwhatSegunhasbeenf
    eedi
    ngy
    oubr
    otherbut
    ,youhav
    esur
    ely
    l
    osty
    ourmind.”

    Hechor
    tl
    es,
    Idon’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngf
    unnyher
    e.

    Raven:
    “I’
    mtheonlyonewhoi
    ssaneatt
    hemoment
    ,you’
    ret
    hinki
    ngwi
    thy
    ourhear
    tRandy
    ,whi
    l
    e
    fat
    heri
    scontr
    oll
    edbyhisr
    epr
    essi
    on.
    ”

    Me:“
    Whaty
    ou’
    ret
    ell
    i
    ngmeRavshowst
    hat
    ,youdon’
    tcar
    eaboutAmar
    a,i
    sthi
    swhyy
    out
    ri
    edt
    o
    ki
    l
    lher?
    ”

    Hef
    li
    cker
    shi
    sey
    esashet
    ri
    est
    ohi
    det
    hem f
    rom me.

    Rav
    en:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngabout
    .”

    Ofcour
    sehewi
    l
    ldenyi
    t.

    Me:
    “Takey
    ourf
    atherbackt
    oGhanaandIwon’
    tmakei
    ttot
    hef
    uner
    al.Sendmycondol
    encest
    o
    mot
    her.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    Randal
    ldon’
    tdot
    his,
    you’
    remaki
    ngami
    stake.
    ”

    Hecal
    l
    soutasIj
    umpi
    ntot
    hecar
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    88*

    KHETHU*

    Mbongeni
    :“Canwepl
    easet
    alkaboutwhathappened?You’
    vebeencr
    yingsi
    ncet
    hismor
    ning.
    ”

    Iscootawayf rom hi
    m ashesit
    snexttome, Ican’tlookathimrightnow.WhathaveIdone?I
    wouldnev erdothi
    s, Iwoul
    dneverdothi
    stoSt yl
    es.Iwokeupnakedi nMbongeni
    ’sar
    mst hi
    s
    morning,Iwasdr i
    nkingmysorr
    owsawayl astnight.Idon’tknowwhathisexcusewasbut,we
    must’vebeent oodrunk.Onet
    hingledtoanotherandIf eelsodi
    rty,
    Ihavel
    ostthestr
    engthto
    mov efrom thi
    scouch.

    Me:
    “Whydi
    dyoul
    ett
    hishappenMbongeni
    ?Howcoul
    dyoul
    ett
    hishappen?
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Khet
    huIswear
    ,yougav
    econsent
    .Idi
    dn’
    tfor
    cemy
    sel
    fony
    ou,
    Iswear
    .”

    Hepani
    cs.

    Me:“Iknowdammitbut,
    Iwasv
    ulner
    abl
    e.YouknowIwoul
    dnev
    erhur
    tSt
    ylesl
    i
    ket
    his,
    you’
    re
    supposedtobemyfri
    end.”

    Iy
    ell
    athi
    m,hei
    ssuchani
    diot
    .

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    ’
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Me:“Sor
    rydoesn’
    tfi
    xthi
    s.HowdoIt
    urnbackt
    imenow?Whatwi
    l
    lhet
    hinkofmewhenhef
    inds
    out
    ?”

    Iwipemyt
    ear
    sasIl
    ookathi
    m,hedoesn’
    tcar
    eaboutt
    his,
    he’
    slooki
    ngatmel
    i
    keIhav
    elostmy
    mind.

    Mbongeni
    :“Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    hist
    oyour
    sel
    f?”

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”

    Mbongeni
    :“Thi
    sobsessi
    onyouhav
    eov
    ert
    hatman,
    hedoesn’
    twanty
    ouKhet
    hu.Howel
    sedo
    youwanthi
    mt ospel
    litf
    ory
    ou?”

    Idon’
    tli
    kehi
    stone.

    Me:“
    Youwouldn’
    tunderst
    andMbongeniandIam notobsessedoverhi
    m, Il
    ovehi
    m.I
    tsnott
    he
    samethi
    ng,
    Styl
    eslovesme.Ihaveseenhowhelooksatme, thewayhetouchedmewhenhe
    madelov
    etome.Ifthat
    ’snotl
    ovethenIdon’
    tknowwhatis.”

    Hecl
    encheshi
    sjawuponhear
    ingmywor
    ds,
    Idon’
    tgethowt
    hisof
    fendshi
    m.

    Mbongeni
    :“Yourf
    athert
    hinksy
    ouhav
    etogof
    ort
    her
    apy
    .”

    Hespi
    tst
    heshocki
    ngwor
    dsout
    .
    Me:“
    Soy
    ouandmyf
    atherhav
    ebeendi
    scussi
    ngme?Doesheknowt
    hatwesl
    eptt
    oget
    heras
    wel
    l
    ?”

    Hi
    smout
    hsl
    i
    ght
    lyopens,
    he’
    sdumbf
    oundedbymychoi
    ceofwor
    ds.

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    sthi
    syourmi
    ssi
    onnowKhet
    hu,
    pushi
    ngev
    ery
    oneaway
    ?”

    Me:“
    Idon’tknowwhatyou’r
    etal
    kingabout
    ,suddenl
    ypeopl
    ethi
    nkthatIhavel
    ostmymi
    ndand
    t
    hatIneedtherapy
    .Ther
    e’snot
    hingwrongwithme.Gobackandtel
    lmyf at
    hert
    hat.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“It
    hinkyoudo,you’
    rehunguponthatguywhodoesn’
    tcar
    eaboutyou.Thi
    sisnot
    youKhet
    hu,Iknowy outobestr
    ongandindependent
    .Youar
    enotdef
    inedbyaman, y
    ouare
    Khet
    hukut
    hulaDladl
    a.”

    Heremindsmeofmypastsel
    f,Iam nol
    ongerli
    vingi
    nthater
    a.Thatwasbefor
    emywholeli
    fe
    r
    evolv
    edaroundSt
    yles,
    Iwasy
    oungandt houghtIhadtheworl
    dinthepal
    m ofmyhands.

    Me:
    “Cany
    ounotdot
    hispl
    ease,
    Ineedt
    ogetoutofher
    e.”

    Hesi
    ghs,
    Ican’
    tst
    ayher
    ewi
    thhi
    m any
    mor
    e.

    Mbongeni
    :“Wher
    ewi
    l
    lyougo?Iwantt
    otakecar
    eofy
    ou,
    please.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youcan’
    ttakecar
    eofmeMbongeni
    ,Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndmyownwayoutoft
    hissi
    tuat
    ion.
    ”

    Mbongeni:
    “Khet
    huplease,
    letmei
    n.Maki
    nglov
    et oy oul
    astni
    ghtwast
    hebestf
    eel
    i
    ngi
    nthe
    wor
    ld,youdon’
    tknowhowmuchIhav el
    ongedforthatmoment.”

    Het
    akesmyhandint
    ohi s,
    Iknowthathe’
    salway
    shadf
    eel
    i
    ngsf
    ormebut
    ,Ican’
    treci
    procat
    e.
    Myhear
    tlongsf
    orSt
    yles,i
    tknowshi
    m alone.

    Mbongeni
    :“Letmehel
    pyouheal
    andIpr
    omi
    se,
    Iwi
    l
    llov
    eyoul
    i
    kenoonehasev
    erbeenl
    oved
    bef
    ore.
    ”

    He’
    slooki
    ngi
    ntomyey
    es,
    hemeanswhathesay
    sbut
    ,Ican’
    t.

    Me:
    “You’
    reagoodmanMbobut
    …”

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    ’
    m notgoodenoughf
    ory
    ou?
    ”

    Hi
    svoi
    cei
    slacedwi
    thdi
    sappoi
    ntment
    .

    Me:
    “Oneday
    ,youwi
    l
    lfi
    ndsomeonewhowi
    l
    llov
    eandappr
    eci
    atey
    ou.
    ”

    Mbongeni
    :“Whycan’
    titbey
    ou?
    ”

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    tbeabl
    etol
    ovey
    oul
    i
    key
    ouwantmet
    o.”

    Mbongeni
    :“I
    ’
    llt
    akeany
    thi
    ngy
    ougi
    vemeKhet
    huandgr
    adual
    l
    y,Iwi
    l
    lwi
    nyourl
    ove.
    ”

    Hebur
    iesmycheeksi
    nhi
    shandsandl
    eanscl
    oser
    ,Ican’
    tmaket
    hesamemi
    staket
    wice.

    Me:
    “Mbongeni
    please,
    stop.
    ”

    Imov
    eawayf
    rom hi
    sembr
    ace,
    hesi
    ghsi
    nfr
    ust
    rat
    ion.
    Mbongeni
    :“That
    ’sokay
    ,Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tfory
    ou.OnedayIwi
    l
    lbeal
    lyouneed.
    ”

    Idon’
    tseet
    hathappeni
    ng.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easet
    akemet
    omygr
    andmot
    her
    ’shouse.
    ”

    Henods.

    HowcanIaccepthi
    slov
    e?Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    ogi
    vehi
    minr
    etur
    n.

    NTOMBI
    *

    Thishousehasbecomeawarzone,t
    her
    eisnopeace.Thesepeoplecamewithadar
    kcloudi
    n
    myhouse, i
    fit
    ’snotMosesscr
    eami
    ngandshout
    ingl
    ikealunat
    ic,
    it’
    sPetuni
    aandIoneach
    other
    ’sthr
    oats.

    Irushtot
    hel
    i
    vingr
    oom t
    ogett
    hedoor
    ,thesepeopl
    edon’
    tev
    enbot
    hert
    ogetupandopent
    he
    door.

    Me:“Am It
    heonlyonewhocanheartheknock?Ihav
    etor
    unf
    rom myr
    oom j
    ustt
    oopent
    he
    doorwhi
    leyoupeoplear
    esi
    tt
    ingi
    dle.
    ”

    Ir
    aisemyv oi
    ceatthem onl
    ytorecei
    vebl
    ankst
    ares.I
    fonl
    yMosescoul
    dregai
    nhi
    ssenses,
    he
    wouldchasethem outi
    naspli
    tsecond.

    Me:
    “It
    ’smyhouseany
    way
    ,Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    tmy
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Ir
    etor
    twhent
    heydon’
    tsayany
    thi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Ngi
    yeza.
    ”(I
    ’
    m comi
    ng.
    )

    Ishout
    .

    Whoi
    sbangi
    ngmydoorl
    i
    ket
    his?

    If
    uri
    ousl
    yopenthedoor,r
    eadyt
    ogiv
    ethem apieceofmymi
    nd.Myhear
    tdr
    opst
    othepi
    tofmy
    st
    omachatthesightofMkhi
    zeonmydoorstep.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Sani
    bonani
    ekhay
    a.”(
    Greet
    ings.
    )

    Lor
    dno,whati
    shedoi
    ngher
    e.Mosesscur
    ri
    est
    ohi
    debehi
    ndme,
    he’
    sst
    upi
    d.Heshoul
    d’v
    eran
    tot
    hebedr
    oom.

    Mkhize:
    “ Bengisacel
    ausizo,
    ngil
    ahl
    eumgodoyi
    wami.Ngi
    yat
    hembaukuthi
    y i
    woloyaocashe
    emvakwasi s’
    Ntombi.”(
    Mayy oupl
    easehel
    pme,Il
    ostmydog.Ihopet
    hat
    ’stheonehidi
    ng
    behi
    ndy ouNt ombi.)

    Hegr
    insatme,
    IhearMosessni
    vel
    l
    ingbehi
    ndme.

    Jonas:
    “Whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    JonasandMhambi ar
    eont hei
    rfeet
    ,theyar
    epuzzl
    edbyt
    hepr
    esenceoft
    hisol
    dman.He’
    slet
    hi
    mselfin,
    alongwi
    thhisguard.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Sor
    ry,
    Ishoul
    d’v
    eint
    roducedmy
    sel
    f.I
    gamanguMkhi
    ze.Mosesi
    smypr
    oper
    ty.
    ”

    Thi
    sisbad,
    Iknewt
    hisdaywascomi
    ng.

    Jonas:
    “Howcananot
    hermanbey
    ourpr
    oper
    ty?
    ”

    Jonasi
    sbol
    dtobet
    alki
    ngt
    othi
    sman,
    I’
    mfai
    l
    ingt
    ogetawor
    dout
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Cl
    ear
    ly,
    hedi
    dn’
    ttel
    lyou.Moses,
    tel
    lthem t
    haty
    oubel
    ongt
    ome.
    ”

    Hepeeksovertocat
    chagl
    impseofMoseswhoi
    scl
    utchi
    ngmyj
    erseyl
    i
    keal
    i
    ttl
    eki
    dandhi
    s
    headi
    spressedonmyback.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easeMkhi
    ze,
    Mosesi
    snotwel
    latt
    hemoment
    .”

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Pl
    easewhat
    ?Idon’
    tunder
    standwhaty
    ouar
    esay
    ingNt
    ombi
    .”

    Angertakesov
    erhi
    sexpr
    essi
    on,
    Ihav
    etopr
    otectMoses.Thi
    smani
    scr
    uel
    ,hewi
    l
    lki
    l
    lmy
    husband.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easegi
    veust
    imet
    opayy
    ouback.
    ”

    Hecatchesmeoffguar
    dwi
    thhi
    sloudmocki
    ngl
    aught
    hat
    ,hasmest
    agger
    ingback,
    Moses
    moveswi t
    hme.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Wher
    ewi
    l
    lyougett
    hatki
    ndofmoneysi
    si?
    ”

    Me:
    “Wewi
    l
    lmakeapl
    an.
    ”

    Het
    akesanot
    herj
    oyr
    ideofl
    aught
    er.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Si
    ka,
    umhlabauzokut
    hoba.Unur
    seathi
    shewil
    lmakeaplan,
    cabanga,
    onemi l
    li
    onSi
    ka.
    ”
    (
    Theworl
    dwil
    lhumbley
    ou,thenur
    sesaysshewill
    makeaplanofget
    ti
    ngonemi l
    l
    ion.
    )

    Mhambi
    :“Whati
    sgoi
    ngonher
    e?Whatmoneyi
    shet
    alki
    ngaboutNt
    ombi
    ?”

    Theuni
    ver
    sehasconspi
    redagai
    nstme.

    Jonas:
    “Ist
    hist
    hemanwhoboughtAmar
    a?”

    He’
    sgl
    ari
    ngatmewi
    thdi
    sgusti
    nhi
    sey
    es.Moseshasf
    ini
    shedme,
    it’
    spr
    obl
    em af
    terpr
    obl
    em
    wit
    hhi
    m.

    Mkhi
    ze:“Chabhuti,
    Idi
    dn’
    tbuyher
    .Thi
    smanowesmeandwhenhecoul
    dn’
    tpay
    ,hepr
    omi
    sed
    methatgir
    l.Ihav
    ecometocoll
    ect
    .”(
    Nobr
    other
    .)

    Petuni
    a:“Laphobengi
    cabangaukut
    hisengi
    zwi
    l
    ekonke,
    youpeopl
    ear
    eev
    il
    .”(
    JustwhenI
    thoughtIhavehear
    dital
    l.
    )

    Sheal
    way
    shassomet
    hingt
    osay
    .

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,thi
    siswhaty
    ouhav
    ebeenupt
    o?”
    Hey
    ell
    s,Jonasmustknowt
    hatIam nothi
    schi
    l
    d.

    Mhambi:“
    Thatpoorgi
    rlhasenduredsomuch,
    shewasl
    efti
    nthehandsoft
    hedev
    il
    .Ishoul
    d’v
    e
    known,
    Ishoul
    d’v
    eprotectedher
    .”

    Si
    ncewheni
    sMhambi
    sosensi
    ti
    ve?

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,howcoul
    dyou?Howcoul
    dyoudot
    his?
    ”

    Me:
    “Itwasn’
    tmebhut
    i,i
    twasMoses.
    ”(Br
    other
    .)

    Iwi
    l
    lnott
    aket
    hebl
    amef
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ng.

    Jonas:
    “Youencour
    agedi
    t,j
    ustl
    i
    key
    ouencour
    agedev
    eryev
    ilt
    hinghedi
    d.”

    Heshout
    s.

    Iwi
    l
    lbedeafbyt
    het
    imet
    heyl
    eav
    emyhouse,
    Iam al
    way
    syel
    l
    edat
    .

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Moses,
    whyar
    eyouhi
    dingbehi
    ndy
    ourwi
    fe’
    sski
    rt
    ?Comeoutoft
    her
    e.”

    Mosesst
    if
    lesasob.

    Me:
    “Mosesi
    ssi
    ckpl
    ease,
    spar
    ehi
    m.”

    Ipl
    eadonhi
    sbehal
    f.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ngi
    size.
    ”(Hel
    pmeNt
    ombi
    .)

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Isayhemustt
    akehi
    m,Mosesdeser
    veswhat
    everpuni
    shmentheget
    s.”

    Jonas:
    “Youwil
    lbur
    ninhel
    lwenaMoses,
    ther
    emusthav
    ebeenr
    edf
    lags.Igav
    emyi
    nnocent
    si
    stert
    oyou,l
    ookwhatyouhav
    edonetoher.
    ”

    He’
    sst
    il
    lshout
    ing.

    Me:
    “Jonaspl
    ease,
    you’
    rescar
    inghi
    m.”

    Jonas:
    “Hay
    ivoet
    sek,
    youar
    est
    upi
    dNt
    ombi
    .”

    Hemar
    chest
    owar
    dsmeashey
    ell
    s,Iwi
    l
    lnotl
    ethi
    m sl
    apmet
    hist
    ime.

    Jonas:“
    Lal
    elalaNt
    ombi,Iam di
    sowni
    ngy
    ou.Wear
    enol
    ongersi
    bli
    ngsandIwi
    l
    lmakesur
    ethat
    thefami
    lybackhomedoesthesame.”

    IknewJonaswasangr
    ywi
    thmebut
    ,hei
    staki
    ngi
    ttoof
    ar.

    Me:
    “Jonasy
    oucan’
    tdot
    hat
    .”

    Iam qui
    ckt
    ocr
    y.

    Mhambi
    :“Hedi
    dandIagr
    eewi
    thhi
    m.”

    Me:
    “Bhut
    ino.Ni
    ngangi
    l
    ahl
    ingi
    yani
    cel
    a.”(
    Don’
    tabandonme,
    please.
    )

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Idr
    amauy
    ayi
    thandaweNt
    ombi
    ,angazi
    ukut
    hiukhal
    elani
    .Youbr
    oughtt
    hisupon
    y
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Canone’
    svoi
    cebesoannoy
    ing?

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Ar
    ghshame,
    Idon’
    twantt
    oint
    rudebut
    ,ngi
    cel
    auMoses.
    ”(CanIhav
    eMoses?
    )

    He’
    snotl
    ett
    ingt
    hisgo.

    Me:
    “No.
    ”

    Icr
    y,myt
    ear
    smeannot
    hingt
    ohi
    m.I
    t’
    swor
    that
    ry,
    hemusthav
    easof
    tspoti
    nhi
    shear
    t.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Si
    ka,
    that
    hal
    enj
    asi
    hambe.
    ”(Taket
    hisdog,
    sowecango.
    )

    Hecommands,Si
    kapushesmeasidebut
    ,Mosescl
    aspshisar
    msaroundme,
    ashebegi
    nst
    o
    cr
    y.Ther
    e’sat
    ugofwarasSikapul
    lsast
    ubbor
    nMosesfrom me.

    Me:
    “Mkhi
    zepl
    ease,
    tel
    lhi
    mtost
    op.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam ashi
    stear
    sbr
    eakmyhear
    t.

    Si
    ka:
    “Yekal
    omunt
    uwena.
    ”(Lett
    hisper
    songo.
    )

    Hecommandsst
    ernl
    y.

    Moses:
    “Mkhi
    zengi
    yaxol
    i
    sa,
    ngi
    yaxol
    i
    sa.
    ”(I
    ’
    m sor
    ryMkhi
    ze.
    )

    Thehousei
    sfi
    l
    ledwi
    thourcr
    ies,
    mysi
    bli
    ngsar
    ewat
    chi
    ngwi
    thbl
    ankst
    ares.

    Me:
    “Bhut
    iJonas,
    msi
    ze.Ngi
    yacel
    abhut
    i,si
    zaumy
    eni
    wam.
    ”(Pl
    easehel
    pmyhusband.

    Iscr
    eam f
    orhel
    p,Mhambi si
    tsandf
    oldshi
    sarmsacr
    osshi
    schest
    ,Pet
    uni
    aiswat
    chi
    ngi
    n
    wonderwhi
    leJonasshakeshi
    sheadindi
    sgust
    .

    Si
    ka:
    “Inenkani
    lenj
    ababa.
    ”(Thi
    sdogi
    sst
    ubbor
    nboss.
    )

    Hepr
    ocl
    aimswhi
    l
    epul
    l
    ingMosesawayf
    rom me.

    Mkhi
    ze:
    “Si
    ka,
    ungehl
    ulway
    il
    ababant
    u?”(
    Youcan’
    tbedef
    eat
    edbyt
    hesepeopl
    e.)

    Si
    kapushesmeawayandIl
    andont
    hef
    loor
    ,Icr
    yasIwat
    chhi
    m dr
    agmyhusband.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,don’
    tlett
    hem t
    akemeaway
    ,sav
    emepl
    ease.
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    s,hi
    svoi
    cei
    scoat
    edwi
    thf
    ear
    .

    Me:
    “No,
    pleasedon’
    ttakehi
    m.”

    Icr
    awl t
    oMkhizeandkneelbefor
    ehim,
    justawhi
    l
    eagoi
    twasMoses,
    kneel
    i
    ngbef
    oret
    hisman
    andtodayIam pl
    eadi
    ngforhisli
    fe.

    Me:“Pl
    ease,Mkhi
    ze.Iam beggingyou,don’
    ttakehi
    m away.Moseshaslosthi
    smi nd,
    he’
    ssick.
    Heisli
    keachil
    d,hedoesn’tunderst
    andwhatishappeni
    ng.Heisnotawareofhissurr
    oundi
    ngs,
    pl
    easesparemyhusband.”
    Ipl
    ead,
    hegr
    imaceswhi
    l
    egl
    ari
    ngdownatme,
    bef
    oreasl
    ygr
    inappear
    sonhi
    smout
    h.

    Mkhi
    ze:“
    HawuNtombi
    ,awushonganiukuthi
    lent
    oisi
    yahl
    any
    a?Whatwi
    l
    lIdowi
    thacr
    azydog?
    ”
    (
    Whydidn’
    tyout
    ell
    methat
    ,hehaslosthismind?)

    Hel
    aughsasi
    fhef
    indst
    hisf
    unny
    ,Moseshasn’
    tst
    oppedcr
    yingl
    i
    keachi
    l
    d.

    Mkhize:
    “Okay
    ,Iwi
    l
    lleav
    ehi
    mfornow.Kodwauhl
    alewazi
    ukut
    hiuy
    angi
    kwel
    etaandIwi
    l
    lbe
    back.
    )

    InodasIwi
    pemytear
    s,Mkhi
    zepl
    odsoutfol
    lowedbySi
    ka.Mosesrunsandf
    all
    sbef
    oreme,
    he
    putshi
    sar
    msaroundmewhil
    eweepi
    ng.Ican’
    thel
    pbut,
    weepwithhim.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Hehehe,
    hai
    suka.
    ”(Getoutofher
    e.)

    IhearPet
    uni
    acackl
    e,t
    heycant
    hinkwhat
    evert
    heywant
    .Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ghtf
    ort
    hisman.

    AMARA*

    I
    ’
    m standi
    ngbehi
    ndthestov
    echecki
    ngont
    hef
    ood,
    Iopt
    edt
    ocookt
    oday
    .Chi
    omawasagai
    nst
    i
    tbut
    ,sheevent
    ual
    lyagr
    eed.

    Igapeintotheblankspacesbetweent hest
    oveandthesubwaytil
    edwall
    ,mymi ndtravel
    li
    ng
    entert
    aini
    ngthoughtsofRandall
    ,there’
    sawayhehandlessit
    uati
    ons.Heremainscalm about
    everyt
    hing,t
    herecouldbeaf i
    rearoundusbut,her
    emainsunfl
    inchi
    ng.Heishurtandfeels
    betray
    edbyhi sbrothert
    urni
    ngonhi m,hedoesn’
    tshowitbut
    ,Iseeiti
    nhiseyes,eachtime
    Raven’snamei sbroughtup.

    “
    Woment
    endt
    obur
    npot
    s,whent
    heyt
    hinkt
    oomuchwhi
    l
    ecooki
    ng.
    ”

    Randal
    l’
    svoi
    cesoundsf
    rom behi
    ndme,
    for
    cingmet
    otur
    nwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.Ihav
    ebeenl
    ongi
    ngt
    o
    seehim.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    t’
    sthesameaswomenchat
    ti
    ngonWhat
    sAppwhi
    l
    ecooki
    ng.
    ”

    Headds.

    Onewoul
    dsayhe’
    sser
    ious,
    looki
    ngatt
    hatwr
    inkl
    eonhi
    sfor
    ehead.

    Me:
    “Whataboutmen?Don’
    ttheygetl
    osti
    nthei
    rthought
    sandbur
    npot
    saswel
    l
    ?”

    Ir
    ipost
    e,wi
    thmyf
    ist
    spr
    essedonmyhi
    ps.Randal
    lsni
    cker
    sandbegi
    nst
    opot
    tert
    owar
    dsme.

    Randall
    :“Theproblem thereisthat,
    mencannotmul ti
    task,wefini
    shwhat everwe’
    redoing,
    befor
    emov i
    ngont othenextt askandthati
    ncludesgettingl
    ostinourownt houghts.Wethi
    nk
    aft
    erwe’veateandcl earedthedishes.That
    ’swhenwet aketi
    met oourselv
    es,eit
    heronthe
    couchorany whereyouf eelcomf or
    tabl
    eandthethinki
    ngbegins.”
    Hesay
    sst
    il
    lmov
    ingcl
    oset
    ome,
    Icat
    cht
    hef
    ami
    l
    iargl
    ancei
    nhi
    sey
    es.

    Il
    aughathi
    scomebackasIhav
    enev
    erhear
    ditbef
    ore.

    Me:“Wow,
    nowI
    ’
    m conv
    incedt
    hatment
    endt
    othi
    nkal
    ot.Howdoy
    oudoi
    t?What
    ’sbot
    her
    ing
    you?
    ”

    Hest
    andsbef
    oremeandsmi
    rksasIl
    ookupathi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Mul
    ti
    plet
    hings.
    ”

    Hesay
    s,ponder
    ing.

    Me:
    “And,
    yety
    oucannotmul
    ti
    task.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Idon’
    tknowaboutot
    hermenbut
    ,Idon’
    tst
    ruggl
    ewi
    thMul
    ti
    taski
    ng.
    ”

    Her
    esponds,
    droppi
    nghi
    sey
    esonmyl
    i
    psasi
    fwant
    ingt
    otast
    ethem.

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?I
    ’
    llbel
    i
    evei
    t,t
    hedayIseei
    t.
    ”

    Mycomment
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Whywai
    t?Icanshowy
    ounow.
    ”

    Heof
    fer
    sashi
    sar
    msswi
    rlar
    oundme.

    Thi
    sti
    me,
    Ifi
    ndmy
    sel
    fgi
    ggl
    i
    ngasIgr
    aspwhatmi
    ghtbeonhi
    smi
    nd.

    Me:
    We’
    rei
    nthe…”

    Mywordsarejammedbyhi sli
    psclaimingmine,
    atenderbut,
    slowfer
    ventki
    ss,
    oneIwoul
    d
    st
    ruggl
    etogetoutofbecausehiskisseshav
    ebecomemyv eryowndrug.

    Mybacki sagai
    nsttheki
    tchencabinetashisbodypr essesonmi ne,
    herunshishanddownt o
    myt hi
    ghanditsettl
    esonmybar eskin.I
    tgentlyundulatesonmyt hi
    ghwhileheconti
    nuesto
    ki
    ssme.Hesav agesmymout hwit
    hhi stongue,for
    cingasof tdeepmoanoutofme.Asudden
    heatrushest
    hroughmybodyashi shandt ravel
    supt omyhi pbone,theneedforhi
    mi ncr
    eases.

    Myhear tjumpst omythroatwhenhegrabsthehem ofmyunderwear


    .Thecurr
    entheatof
    energyincreasesashebringsmylegtostr
    addlehi
    shipandpusheshi
    shandsbeneathmy
    undergarment ,
    gent
    lysqueezingmybutt
    .Igaspwhenhewhiskmeupandpl acesmeont he
    counter.

    I
    ’
    vel
    ostmysani
    tybut
    ,mymi
    ndst
    il
    lwor
    ksasi
    tremi
    ndsmet
    hatwear
    eint
    heki
    tchen.

    Hedoesn’
    tgi
    vemeachancetospeakashe’
    sbacktokissi
    ngmeravenousl
    ythi
    sti
    me,
    hisone
    handi
    sli
    ghtl
    ygr
    ippedofmybr
    aidsandt
    heothersqueezi
    ngmyt
    high.

    Alt
    houghhestar
    tedthegame,
    Ican’
    tignor
    ethef
    actt
    hatIwanthi
    m sobadinthemi
    dstofal
    l
    thi
    sint
    imacy
    .Icl
    utchmyhandsonhisbackashepul
    lsmyhairal
    it
    tl
    eti
    ghter
    .

    Hi
    sli
    psf
    indt
    hei
    rwayt
    othesensi
    ti
    vepar
    tsofmyneck,
    leav
    ingmegaspi
    ngf
    orai
    randmychest
    i
    nari
    seandf
    all
    movement
    .
    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Awhi
    sperel
    udesf
    rom mymout
    h.

    Whydoeshemakemesoweak?Ishoul
    d’v
    est
    oppedhi
    m whenIgr
    aspedt
    hel
    ust
    ful
    looki
    nhi
    s
    ey
    es.

    Randal
    lli
    kestotakecont
    rol
    but
    ,heknowswhentost op.Att
    hispointi
    tfeel
    sli
    kenothi
    ngi
    s
    encour
    aginghi
    mt odoso.Hist
    ouchandki
    ssestell
    met hatnothi
    ngintheworl
    dwillst
    ophi
    m
    fr
    om gett
    ingwhathewantsbut
    ,ther
    ear
    epeopleinthehouse,anyonecouldwalki
    n.

    Mymindisver
    ymuchawareoft
    hisfact
    ,thewi
    ll
    tost
    ophi
    m hasabandonedme.If
    eel
    hy
    pnoti
    zedatt
    hismomentashetakesovermywhol
    ebei
    ng,
    incr
    easi
    ngmysexualdesi
    re.

    Hel
    uresmei ntoanot
    herki
    ss,hi
    stonguewast
    ingnoti
    mei
    nfi
    ndi
    ngmi
    ne.Hegl
    i
    deshi
    shandup
    t
    omybr east
    ,thisi
    sapartheneverf
    orget
    stoworshi
    p.

    Mymi
    ndi
    stel
    l
    ingmet
    hingsandIam compel
    l
    edt
    oaccede.

    Try
    ingtotakehist-
    shi
    rtof
    fnow,wouldbeawrongmov
    ebut,myhandsbet
    raymeasIbegi
    nto
    pul
    litup.Theshockonmyf acewhenhepul
    l
    sbackmustbeembarr
    assi
    ng.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    ogetmenaked,
    mehemma?
    ”(Myqueen.
    )

    Hewhisper
    sasheleanscl
    oser,
    brushi
    nghisl
    i
    psonmi ne.Iam heav
    ing,
    myhear
    tisdr
    ummi
    ng
    agai
    nstmychestandmybloodisashotasamid-summer ’
    sday.

    Me:
    “Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    hist
    omeRandal
    l
    ?”

    Iask,f
    eeli
    ngvul
    nerabl
    eanddef
    eat
    ed.Hebi
    tesmyl
    owerl
    i
    pandIf
    eel
    him smi
    rk,
    henev
    ersmi
    l
    es
    sothat,t
    heor
    yisout.

    Mynippl
    esconspi
    reagai
    nstmet ooastheyhar
    denfrom hi
    stouch.AsmuchasIam arousedby
    al
    lofthi
    s,i
    t’
    snotokayt
    hatwearedoingiti
    nhere.Iwoul
    dneverbeablet
    olookatanyoneifthey
    weretofi
    ndusinthi
    sconcededposi
    ti
    on.

    Il
    etmymindwonderfor
    saki
    ngt
    hatbl
    i
    ssf
    ulmomentabit,beforehi
    stonguesendsmeback
    wi
    thsof
    tmoans.Icl
    ingtohi
    sar
    msasthi
    sgl
    ori
    ous,
    pleasurablesensat
    ionengul
    fsme.

    Andbecauseheknowswhathe’ sdoi
    ng,he’sabl
    etopul
    lawayfrom t
    heki
    ss.Let
    ti
    nggoof
    ever
    ythinghishandscl
    aimed,Igaspforai
    r.Eyeswi
    denedandpanti
    ngli
    keIhavejustr
    una
    marathon,Istar
    eathim whi
    lehesmil
    esdownatme.Iseeanot herki
    sscomingashecupsbot
    h
    mycheeks.

    Randal
    l
    :“It
    oldy
    ouIcanmul
    ti
    task.
    ”

    Hesaysandnuzzl
    eshi
    sfaceonmyneck,
    plant
    ingal
    i
    nger
    ingki
    ss.Hewant
    stoki
    l
    lme,
    thi
    sis
    hi
    splan.

    Me:
    “I’
    m conv
    inced,
    youj
    ustwant
    edt
    opuni
    shmef
    ort
    alki
    ngt
    oomuch,
    right
    ?”

    I
    ’
    m sur
    pri
    sedt
    hatIcanst
    il
    lspeak.
    Hechortl
    esandshakeshi
    shead,
    I’
    mlef
    tnumbbyt
    hewav
    eofpl
    easur
    e.Wi
    l
    lIev
    erbeabl
    eto
    quenchhisi
    nsat
    iabl
    eappet
    it
    e?

    Randal
    l
    :“Il
    i
    kei
    twheny
    out
    alkt
    ome,
    don’
    tev
    erst
    op.
    ”

    Heexcl
    aimssof
    tl
    y,whi
    l
    etat
    tooi
    ngmewi
    thki
    sses.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    89*

    NOMBULELO*

    Ireal
    lymessedupwithMbuso,
    Idon’tknowwhathappenedwhenIsawZuma.Mymi ndf
    roze,
    every
    thi
    ngaroundmecamet oastandsti
    ll
    andIfoundmysel
    fcry
    ingasal
    lthepai
    nful
    memor i
    es
    camef l
    oodi
    ngin.Iwasr
    eli
    vi
    ngthepainatthatmoment.

    Myt earswer
    enotbecauseofseei nghim but
    ,thesecondmyey escaughtagli
    mpseofhim,I
    coul
    dseeev eryt
    hingheev erdidtome.Itwasasi fabi
    gscreenwasplacedbefor
    emeandmy
    pastwasonr epl
    ay .Him,
    mocki ngmeanddeny inghischi
    l
    d.Thebatter
    ing,
    thecheat
    ingandt
    he
    pai
    nf ul
    wordsthatleftmebr oken.St
    il
    l,
    Icouldn’tseehi
    m hurtwhenMbusopunchedhim.

    Zumahurtmeandthati
    ssomethi
    ngIcanneverl
    ookpast,
    Ihavel
    earntt
    opushhim outofmy
    hear
    tint
    hisl
    i
    ttl
    espaceoft
    imeandIam cer
    tai
    n,wit
    houtadoubtt
    hatmyheartbel
    ongsto
    Mbuso.

    He’saloofandhasn’
    tsai
    dawor dtome, wej
    ustarr
    ivedathomeandtr
    eadingupt hestair
    sto
    ourapar t
    ment.I
    ’
    m qui
    etl
    ytoddl
    ingbehi
    ndhim,accompaniedbyapangofguil
    tythatrefusest
    o
    mov efrom me.Mbusoopensthedoor,hemakeswayf ormetowal
    kin.Icanfeelhisheavy
    presenceasIswooshpasthim,thi
    sishowangryheis.

    Itakeasi twhil
    ewatchinghim cl
    osethedoor,hi
    sey esr ef
    uset oacknowledgemeashe
    mar chesupstair
    s.I’
    ml ef
    tsi
    tti
    nghereandcontempl ati
    nghowIwi ll
    explainmystupi
    dit
    y.My
    hear tst
    opsasIheart hesoundofhisfootst
    epstreaddownt hestair
    s,hestandsbefor
    emeina
    j
    iffy.Ican’
    ttakethelookofpaini
    nhisey es,
    Iputi
    tt here,Ihurtthemant hatIl
    ove.

    Me:
    “Mbuso.
    ”

    Mbuso: “
    I’
    m goingtomeetupwit
    hmyf at
    her
    ,don’
    tfor
    gettost
    eam yourbodyl
    i
    kemam’Zodwa
    sai
    d.Also,spr
    inkl
    ethehol
    ywaterar
    oundthehousebef
    oreyougotobed.Shesai
    dtost
    art
    upst
    air
    s.”

    Hi
    svoi
    cehasnev
    ersoundedsol
    ow,
    itst
    ingsmyhear
    teacht
    imei
    tresoundsi
    nmyear
    .

    Me:
    “Ar
    en’
    tyoucomi
    ngback?
    ”

    Hecan’
    tleav
    emeal
    onei
    nthi
    shousebesi
    des,
    Ineedt
    oexpl
    ainmy
    sel
    f.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    lpr
    obabl
    ybel
    ate,
    don’
    twai
    tup.
    ”

    Het
    urnsandst
    art
    stowal
    kaway
    .

    Me:
    “Mbusowai
    t.
    ”

    Ir
    isef
    rom myseat
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”
    Hest
    opsi
    nhi
    str
    acksbut
    ,deni
    esmet
    oseehi
    sface.

    Me:
    “Canwet
    alkbef
    orey
    ougo,
    Ineed…”

    Mbuso:
    “Ican’
    tbeher
    eri
    ghtnowLel
    o,If
    eel
    suf
    focat
    edbyev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Heexcl
    aimsbef
    orest
    ri
    dingoutt
    hedoor
    .Howam Igoi
    ngt
    ofi
    xthi
    s?

    Myphoner
    ings.
    ..

    It
    ’smymot
    her
    ,shei
    sthel
    astper
    sonIwantt
    otal
    ktor
    ightnowbut
    ,Ineedt
    oupdat
    eheronhow
    Iwent
    .

    Me:
    “Yebo.
    ”(Yes.
    )

    Igr
    eet,
    Iwillnotgett
    oof r
    iendl
    ywi
    thher
    .Ev
    enafterseei
    ngme,shehasn’
    tinqui
    redaboutmy
    wel
    lbei
    ngnorhassheaskedaboutmybaby .Thi
    sgoestoshowthatshecaresnothi
    ngabout
    me,myf at
    herisherpri
    ori
    ty.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Hawu,
    Lel
    omybaby
    .Ist
    hishowy
    ougr
    eety
    ourmot
    her
    ?”

    Me:
    “Howel
    seshoul
    dIgr
    eety
    oumom?
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Atl
    eastsoundhappyt
    ohearf
    rom me.
    ”

    Me:“Happy?Doy
    ouknowwher
    eIl
    i
    vemom?Doy
    ouknowi
    fIhav
    efoodonmyt
    abl
    e,aj
    obori
    fI
    am saf
    e?”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Wher
    eist
    hiscomi
    ngf
    rom Lel
    o?”

    I
    sshet
    hisi
    gnor
    ant
    ?

    Me: “
    Mom,Icamehomet heotherdayandnotoncedi dyoupull
    measideandaskmehowIwas.
    All
    Ihear
    dwasy ourfatherthi
    s,yourf
    athert
    hat.He’sal
    lthatmatt
    erst
    oyou,Ihav
    ebeent
    hrough
    hel
    landIam notokay.ThisisnothowIpict
    uredleavi
    ngmyf at
    her’
    shouse.
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Iwasgoi
    ngt
    ocal
    lyouLel
    oandaski
    fcoul
    dcomehomesowecant
    alk.
    ”

    She’
    sly
    ing.

    Me:
    “Ohr
    eal
    l
    y?When?
    ”

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Wear
    etal
    ki
    ngnow,
    right
    ?”

    Isi
    ghatherr
    esponse.

    Me:
    “ Whathappenedt
    oyoubei
    ngaprot
    ector
    ?WasIonlysaf
    einy
    ourwombmom?Youbrought
    meintot
    hisworldtof
    eedmetothewol
    ves,y
    ouabandonedmewhenIneededy
    out
    hemost.
    ”

    Myemot i
    onsseekatt
    entionandIcannotdenythem.Iwantt
    otakeoutal
    lmyfrust
    rat
    ionsonher
    ,
    i
    t’
    sherfaultt
    hatIam i
    nt hi
    sdi
    lemma.Ifshefoughtformeandkeptmesafei
    nherhomel i
    kea
    mothershoul
    d’v
    e,Iwouldn’
    tbefeel
    ingl
    ikeanorphan.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Yi
    nii
    nki
    ngaLel
    o?Whyar
    eyousuddenl
    ysodeep?
    ”(What
    ’st
    hepr
    obl
    em?
    )
    Me: “
    Wow, thi
    sist
    hefi
    rstt
    imeI
    ’
    m expr
    essi
    ngmy
    sel
    ftoy
    ouaf
    terIwast
    hrownoutandt
    hisi
    s
    yourresponsetoi
    t.
    ”

    Ihat
    ethatI
    ’
    m cr
    ying,
    shesummonedt
    heset
    ear
    s.

    Ntombi:“
    Leloawumekancanet uu,ungi
    bangel
    aumsi ndo.Youknowthatyourfatherisnot
    feel
    i
    ngwell andIhavetotakecar
    eofhim,Ihar
    dlyhav eti
    metodoany t
    hingelse.Petuni
    a
    doesn’
    thelpme, al
    lshedoesiscookandeatmyf ood.Iam st
    ressedLel
    oandIdon’ tneedyou
    addi
    ngtomypr obl
    ems.”

    Fr
    ust
    rat
    ed,
    shesnaps.

    Me:“Yousoundsoselfi
    shri
    ghtnowmom, al
    lIheari
    sme,me,me.Dadi
    sallt
    hatmatt
    erstoy
    ou
    anyway.You’
    reafr
    aidt
    hathewil
    lleav
    eyouandyouwill
    bel
    eftal
    oneso,
    it’
    sbet
    tert
    hatyou
    negl
    ectyourchi
    ld.
    ”

    It
    ryt
    omakeherseehermi
    stakesasamot
    her
    .

    Ntombi:“
    Lel
    o.Youknowthatyouwi
    l
    lgetmarri
    edonedayandIwi
    l
    lbealonei
    nthi
    shouse.What
    i
    swr ongwit
    hmeholdingontomyhusband?Doyouwantmetodi
    ealonemychil
    d?”

    Sheanswer
    s,soundi
    ngannoy
    ed.

    Me:
    “There’
    senoughy
    out oaccommodatej
    ustdadi
    nyourli
    fe,
    Ineedyoutoomom.Ineeda
    mot
    her,
    Idon’thav
    eanyonetotal
    kto.WhodoIrunt
    oifyouhaveputupthi
    shedgear
    oundyou?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m donef
    ight
    ingwi
    thmyt
    ear
    s,Il
    ett
    hem doast
    heypl
    easei
    nmyey
    es.

    Ntombi:“Yazi
    ,uyakhulumakodwa, angizwisi
    siukuthiut
    hini
    .Ngizwaumsindonje,
    ikhandalami
    l
    iyadumaNombul el
    oandI ’
    mt i
    red.Lalela,
    Iwillcal
    lyoutomorrow.Ihavetofeedyourfat
    her.
    ”
    (You’
    respeakingbut,Idon’
    tunderstandwhaty ou’r
    esay i
    ng.Al
    lIhearisnoi
    seandIhav ea
    headache.)

    It
    houghtasmuch,
    Iam appal
    l
    edbyheri
    gnor
    ance.

    Me:
    “Whencanmam’
    Zodwacomet
    her
    e?Wehav
    etof
    ini
    sht
    hist
    hing.
    ”

    IaskasIst
    rayawayf
    rom t
    hepai
    nful
    topi
    c.

    Nt
    ombi
    :“Angazi
    ,may
    bet
    hiscomi
    ngweekend.
    ”(Idon'
    tknow.
    )

    Sheseemsnott
    ocar
    eaboutt
    his.

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,by
    e.”

    Idr
    opthecal
    l
    ,andsitbackont
    hecouch.IguessIl
    ostmymot
    hert
    hedayIwasoust
    edoutof
    myfat
    her’
    shouse.

    AMARA*
    Theconver
    sationkeepsgoi
    ngbackandf ort
    hbetweenRandal
    landLi
    yanaaswe’reseat
    edata
    di
    nnertabl
    e.Givenachance,Li
    yanatal
    ksalotandRandal
    ldoesnotmind.Hecalml
    yenter
    tai
    ns
    her
    ,it
    ’scut
    e.Chiomai st
    ooquietformyli
    ki
    ngtoday,t
    henagai
    n,shehardl
    yeversay
    smuch
    whenhe’saround.Ihopeal
    li
    swel lwi
    thher.

    Li
    yana:
    “Mar
    a?”

    Iseeaf
    loodofquest
    ionscomi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Yes,
    Liy
    ababy
    .”

    Li
    yana:
    “Ar
    eyoumynewmommy
    ?”

    Ichokeonmyf
    oodasherquest
    iondr
    ibbl
    esme,
    Ihav
    etoadmi
    tthat
    ,Idi
    dnotseet
    hiscomi
    ng.

    Ir
    unmyey
    est
    oRandal
    ltomeetasmugl
    ookonhi
    sface,
    ashest
    eal
    sgl
    ancesatme.

    Me:
    “Whydoy
    ouaskLi
    ya?
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “Youshar
    eabedr
    oom wi
    thpapa,
    andmar
    ri
    edpeopl
    eshar
    eabedr
    oom.
    ”

    Sheexpl
    ains,
    innocent
    ly.Howdoessheknowt
    his?

    IogleatRandal
    landgest
    uret
    hathesayssomet
    hing,heshrugshi
    sshoul
    derashet
    hrowsa
    chuckofmeatintohi
    smouth.He’
    sthr
    owingmetot hewolv
    es,Isee.

    Me:
    “Baby
    ,noonecanev
    ert
    akey
    ourmot
    her
    ’spl
    ace.
    ”

    Li
    yana:
    “Iknow.
    ”

    Okay
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Youdo?
    ”

    Now,
    hegi
    vest
    heat
    tent
    ionIhav
    ebeenaski
    ngf
    or.

    Li
    yana:
    “Yesbut
    ,Idon’
    tmi
    ndhav
    ingt
    womommi
    es.
    ”

    I
    sshet
    enorsi
    xteen?

    Randal
    landIexchangegl
    ances,
    he’
    sal
    soi
    ntr
    iguedbyt
    hisl
    i
    ttl
    emi
    ss.

    Randal
    l
    :“Twomot
    her
    s,wher
    edi
    dyouheart
    hat
    ?”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Li
    yana:“
    Ifetol
    dme,sheaskedmehowIwoul
    dfeeli
    fyoumarryanotherwoman.Shesai
    dit
    ’s
    okaytohavetwomommi esandt
    hatIwi
    l
    lbel
    uckybecauseIhavetwomot her
    swholoveme.”

    I
    feisasweetheart,Ican’ttel
    lwhatRandal
    li
    sthinki
    ng.Hi
    sst r
    aightfaceclogswhat ’
    sonhis
    mind.Maybeit’
    stimehet ell
    sherwhyIam her
    eandwhatt hefutureholdsforus.Iam notsur
    e
    myselfwhatthefuturelookslike,
    hehasn’
    tsai
    dmuchr eal
    ly.Ifol
    lowhim ashel eadsme,maybe
    i
    t’
    stimeIcatchagl impseoft hemap.

    I
    fe:
    “Fami
    l
    y.”
    Shehumswit
    hahigh-pi
    tchedv
    oiceasshestr
    oll
    sint
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom,
    engr
    ossedonherphone.
    She’
    ssmi
    li
    ngandblushi
    ngatwhateveri
    sther
    e.

    I
    fe:
    “Sor
    ryI
    ’
    mlat
    e.”

    Shet
    akesasi
    tnextt
    ome.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wher
    edi
    dyougo?
    ”

    Herj
    awdr
    opsbef
    oresher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    I
    fe:
    “Ihav
    eal
    i
    febr
    other
    .”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youhav
    ealif
    ebacki
    nGhana,
    nother
    e.Whodoy
    ouknowher
    e?And,
    don’
    ttel
    lmey
    ou
    werewit
    hRaven,
    Ispoket
    ohim.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Imetsomenewf
    ri
    endswhenIwentt
    othemal
    ltheot
    herdayso,
    wewe’
    rehangi
    ngout
    .”

    Sheexpl
    ainswithoutl
    ooki
    ngupathim asherphonekeepsherbusy.Afrowndeepenson
    Randal
    l’
    sforeheadashegivesherashr
    il
    ll
    ook,whil
    edissect
    ingherunderhi
    sgaze.

    Randal
    l
    :“Whoar
    ethosef
    ri
    ends?Iwantt
    omeett
    hem andt
    heybet
    terbegi
    rl
    s.”

    Herey
    esbuck,
    shei
    sbr
    owned-
    offbyhi
    sinst
    ant
    aneousi
    nter
    rogat
    ion.

    Herv
    oicemuf
    fl
    esasshef
    rownsathi
    m.

    I
    fe:
    “Am Inotal
    l
    owedt
    ogooutoft
    hishousebr
    other
    ?”

    Randal
    l
    :“Youar
    e,asl
    ongasi
    t’
    snott
    omeetboy
    s.”

    Li
    yana:
    “CanIcomewi
    thI
    fe,
    yousai
    dyou’
    l
    ltakemet
    oseeamov
    ie.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “We’
    l
    lhav
    etoaskShakaZul
    u,her
    e.”

    Shegr
    owl
    sassher
    oll
    sherey
    es,
    Randal
    li
    sbei
    ngt
    oohar
    donher
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    ’
    mtr
    yingt
    okeepy
    ousaf
    eIf
    e,Idon’
    twantany
    thi
    ngt
    ohappent
    oyou.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Not
    hingwi
    l
    lhappent
    omebr
    other
    .”

    Randall
    :“That
    ’swhatyousay
    .You’r
    einafor
    eigncountr
    yandy oudon’
    tknowany
    oneher
    e.How
    wil
    lIexplai
    ntomotherwhathappenedt
    oheronlydaughter
    ?”

    I
    fe:
    “Thesamewayy
    ouexpl
    ainedwhathappenedt
    oUche.
    ”

    Herfr
    ustr
    ati
    onstakeov erassheproclaimswit
    hsomuchbrashness,
    Ican’
    tfi
    ndareason
    behi
    ndherhosti
    l
    ity.Shesomehow, feelsdef
    ensi
    veov
    ert
    his.I
    t’
    snotreal
    lyt
    hatbi
    gofabigif
    Randal
    lwantst
    omeetherf r
    iends.

    Hi
    sexpr
    essi
    onsay
    she’
    snothappyaboutherr
    etor
    t.

    Randal
    l
    :“Thati
    snotf
    air
    .”

    Hi
    stonehassuddenl
    ydr
    opped,
    Isenseapangofhur
    t.
    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m sor
    rybr
    other
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    osayt
    hat
    .”

    Hesi
    ghsbef
    oreget
    ti
    ngup.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iwantt
    omeett
    hosef
    ri
    endsy
    ouspeakof
    .”

    Hecommandsandwal
    ksaway
    ,suddenl
    ythement
    ionoft
    hisUcheper
    sonhasspoi
    l
    edhi
    smood.

    Li
    yana:
    “Whoi
    sUche?
    ”

    Sheal
    way shasquest
    ions,I
    fesi
    ghs,dropsherphoneonthetabl
    eandburi
    esherf
    acei
    nthe
    pal
    m ofherhands.Mymi ndhov
    ersaroundRandall
    ,Ineedt
    oseei fhei
    sokay
    .

    Ifi
    ndhimi nthebackyar
    d,Icanonl
    yseehisbackandacl
    oudofsmokehov eri
    ngaroundhim.
    Hetil
    tshisheadtothesi
    deandIgetagli
    mpseofhi mi
    nhal
    ingthesmoulder
    edcigarett
    e,he
    puff
    soutt hestr
    essinafor
    m ofsmoke.I
    tseemstoeasewhateverbur
    denhe’scarr
    yingonhis
    shoul
    ders.

    Me:
    “Randal
    l
    .”

    Hetwi r
    lsatt
    hesoundofmyv oi
    ceandturnsbackaroundasheconti
    nuestosmoke.Ibegint
    o
    pott
    ertohisdir
    ecti
    onanduponheari
    ngmyf ootst
    eps,hedr
    opstheci
    garett
    e,st
    ubsitoutusi
    ng
    hi
    sf ootandtur
    nstome.Henarrowshiseyesthemomenttheymeetmi neashisf
    orehead
    crumplesandIrespondwi
    thasmile.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?”

    He’
    snotex pressi
    onal
    hence,Ican’
    ttel
    lwhathe’st
    hinki
    ngbut,heogl
    esatmewithconf
    usi
    onon
    hi
    sface.Thiscouldbeanissuehewouldratherav
    oid,hi
    smoodseemedt ochangewhenI
    fe
    menti
    onedUche.There’sastorybehi
    ndthatnameandi t
    ’snotagoodone.

    Me:
    “You’
    resmoki
    ng.
    ”

    Itryt
    ohintthathecantell
    mewhat
    everi
    tist
    hat
    ’sbor
    inghi
    m.Humansmakebet
    terl
    i
    stener
    s
    thantheashesofacigarett
    e.

    Hefl
    ashesaqui
    cksmir
    kthatdi
    sappear
    sasfastasi
    tcame.Feel
    i
    ngt
    heneedt
    ocomf
    orthi
    m,I
    enwr
    apmyarmsaroundhiswai
    standpeepupathim.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hav
    eInev
    erbeenokay
    ?”

    Het
    ri
    est
    ohi
    dehi
    ssadnessbehi
    ndhi
    sresi
    l
    ience.

    Me:
    “You’
    rehumanRandal
    l
    ,you’
    real
    l
    owedt
    ohur
    t.Doy
    ouwantt
    otal
    kabouti
    t?”

    I
    ’m hopinghewoul
    dsayy es,
    Ineedhimtoopenuptome.Heshakeshi
    shead,
    bef
    orepul
    l
    ing
    mei nt
    oahug.Iwon’tbegett
    ingany
    thi
    ngoutofhi
    mt oni
    ght
    .

    NTOMBI
    *
    Ihaveanangrymobgat heredonmystr
    eet,Ihav
    emanagedt
    oconv
    incet
    hem t
    hatMar
    thai
    sa
    wit
    ch.It
    ’spast8pm andtodayIwi
    ll
    notgiv
    eherachancetof
    lyt
    omyhouse.

    Me:“Mart
    haisthereasonourliv
    esarestagnant,herj
    eal
    ousywon’
    tletherseeanyonehappyi
    n
    t
    hisnei
    ghbourhood.Youcan’tevenbuybreadatthespazashopwi
    thouthergivi
    ngy ouev
    il
    l
    ooksbecauseshedoesn’thavethemoneyt ofeedhersel
    f.
    ”

    Iy
    ell
    outl
    oud.

    “Iagr
    ee,Mar
    thamustgo.Mysixyearol
    dsont
    ell
    smet
    hat
    ,shecomest
    otakehi
    m ev
    eryni
    ght
    andtheygotopeopl
    e’
    shouses.
    ”

    Ar
    andom womani
    nthecr
    owdv
    oicesout
    .

    “
    She’
    susi
    ngourki
    dst
    odoherev
    ildeeds,
    shehascr
    ossedt
    hel
    i
    mit
    .”

    Amal
    evoi
    cef
    rom t
    hebackhol
    l
    ers.

    “Yeah,Mar
    thavi
    sit
    smyhouseev eryday,sheneverl
    eaveswi
    thoutaski
    ngforthetoi
    let
    .Ist
    art
    ed
    noti
    cingwhi
    tebeadsj
    ustlay
    ingaroundinthehouse.Howdidtheygetther
    e?Isuddenlyl
    ostmy
    j
    obandIhav ebeenworki
    ngther
    ef ort
    eny ear
    s.”

    Anot
    hercompl
    aintf
    rom t
    hecr
    owd.

    Me:
    “Ni
    yabonakee,
    uzosi
    qedal
    omf
    azi
    .”(
    Thatwomanwi
    l
    lfi
    nishus.
    )

    “
    Yeah,
    makashe.
    ”(Letherbur
    n.)

    Ev
    ery
    oneshout
    sinagr
    eement
    .

    “
    LETHERBURN!
    !!
    ”

    Weal
    lchantinachor
    usaswemar
    cht
    owar
    dsMar
    tha’
    shouse,
    wear
    eful
    l
    yequi
    pped.Tor
    ches,
    t
    ir
    es,
    rocks,
    tonameaf ew.

    Me:
    “MARTHAPHUMA!
    !!
    ”(ComeoutMar
    tha.
    )

    Ishoutaswegett
    othegat
    e,t
    her
    eisenoughnoi
    set
    oal
    arm her
    .

    “
    MAKAPHUME!
    !!
    ”(Shemustcomeout
    .)

    Thecrowdshoutsinanger
    ,thedooropensbar
    elyacr
    ack.Shepeeksoutasshecar
    ri
    esa
    conf
    usedexpressi
    on.

    “
    THERESHEI
    S!!
    !”

    Theyshoutuponseei
    ngher
    .

    Mar
    tha:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,kwenzakal
    ani
    ?”(
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    )

    Shesl
    uggi
    shl
    ytr
    eadsout
    ,herf
    acesay
    sshehasnocl
    ueast
    owhat
    ’shappeni
    ng.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Whatar
    eyoupeopl
    edoi
    ngher
    e?What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Shef
    oldsherar
    msacr
    ossherchest
    .

    Me:
    “Enoughi
    senoughMar
    tha,
    sikhat
    hel
    enguwe.
    ”(Wear
    eti
    redofy
    ou.
    )

    Mar
    tha:
    “Hai
    bo,
    ngi
    yenzeni
    ?”(
    Whatdi
    dIdo?
    )

    Me:
    “You’
    reawi
    tchMar
    tha.
    ”

    Thi
    swomani
    sgoodatact
    ing,
    shest
    andsl
    ooki
    ngi
    nnocent
    .

    Martha:"
    Ntombi,
    Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngabout
    .Thi
    sisacr
    ime,
    youdon’
    tgoar
    ound
    cl
    aimingpeopl
    earewit
    ches.
    ”

    “
    Yey
    ,uy
    aloy
    awesi
    si.
    ”(You’
    reawi
    tch.
    )

    Someguygr
    owl
    sather
    .

    Mar
    tha:
    “Nt
    ombi
    nguwel
    oongenzakanj
    e?”(
    Ntombi
    ,you’
    redoi
    ngt
    hist
    ome?
    )

    Shet
    akesupal
    ookoff
    ear
    .

    Me:
    “Ishoul
    dbeaski
    ngy
    out
    his,
    Ithoughty
    ouwer
    emyf
    ri
    end.Howcoul
    dyoubesoev
    ilMar
    tha?
    ”

    Mar
    tha:
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    ngabout
    ,I’
    m notawi
    tch.
    ”

    Shecr
    ies.

    Me:
    “Hay
    isuka,
    mthat
    heni
    .”(
    Takeher
    .)

    Ii
    nst
    ruct
    ,twomengr
    abherandbegi
    ntol
    ughert
    othest
    reet
    s.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Nt
    ombi
    stopt
    hem,
    I’
    minnocent
    .Idi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Shescr
    eams,
    myhumani
    tyhashal
    ted.Iseekr
    evengeandj
    ust
    ice,
    justast
    hesepeopl
    edo.

    Theyar eshouti
    ng,pushi
    ngandscreami
    ngather .I’
    ml eadingthecrowdaswet akehertothe
    streets,
    peoplewil
    llear
    ntodayhowwedeal wi
    thwi tches.Someonepushesherandshecr ashes
    ont heground,t
    hisseemstofuelt
    heother
    sast heyat tackher.Somet hr
    owstonesather,
    othersarekicki
    ngherasshe'scur
    ledi
    naballont hetarr oad,
    shiel
    dingherbodyfr
    om these
    beating.

    Mar
    tha:
    “Si
    zani
    ,si
    zani
    .”(
    Hel
    pme.
    )

    Shescr
    eams.

    Me:
    “Noonei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pyouMar
    tha,
    youwi
    l
    lbur
    ntoday
    .”

    Herey
    eswi
    denatmydecl
    arat
    ionasshel
    i
    esi
    njur
    edont
    hegr
    ound.

    Ar
    ubbert
    ir
    efi
    l
    ledwi
    thpet
    rol
    isneckl
    acedar
    oundherchestandar
    ms.

    Martha:“
    Ntombi
    ,ngi
    yakucel
    a.Tel
    lthem t
    ost
    op,
    please.I
    ’
    minnocent
    ,I’
    minnocentbandl
    a.”(
    I’
    m
    beggingyou.
    )

    Herscr
    eamsar
    eenought
    owaket
    hewhol
    enei
    ghbour
    hood,
    Ist
    andher
    ewat
    chi
    ngasmyf
    ri
    end
    i
    spleadi
    ngforherl
    if
    e.Iprov
    okedthisangrycrowd,t
    herei
    snotur
    ningbacknowandIam
    cert
    aint
    hatt
    hisisj
    usti
    ce.Wewil
    lfinal
    lybefreeofher,
    thi
    siswor
    thit
    .It
    ’st
    heri
    ghtt
    hingt
    odo,
    I
    knowit.

    Icannotexpr
    esstheamountofhateIf
    eelt
    owardsheratthi
    smoment ,
    Ihav
    ebl
    ockedher
    screamsfrom myear
    sasIthinkofwhatmyfamil
    yisgoingthr
    ough.

    Ther
    e'sbl
    oodoozi
    ngf
    rom hermout
    handt
    hisscenei
    swor
    that
    housandpi
    ctur
    es.

    “
    Ntombi
    wenzani
    .”(
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    )

    It
    urnt
    oTebogo’
    sdesper
    atescr
    eam,
    sher
    ushest
    oshi
    eldMar
    thaf
    rom t
    hemob.

    Me:
    “Tebogomov
    e,wedon’
    twantt
    ohur
    tyou.
    ”

    Icommandwi
    thast
    ernv
    oice.

    Tebogo:
    “NoNtombi,y
    oudon’tknowwhaty
    ou’
    redoi
    ng.Thi
    siswr
    ong,
    youhav
    enopr
    ooft
    hat
    Marthai
    sdoi
    ngthesethi
    ngs.
    ”

    Shepl
    eadsdesper
    atel
    yforher
    .

    “
    Sisi
    ,wedon’
    twantt
    ohur
    tyou.Mov
    efr
    om her
    e,uzol
    i
    mal
    a.”(
    Youwi
    l
    lgethur
    t.
    )

    Thi
    sist
    hemanwhopour
    edpet
    rol
    onMar
    tha,
    hel
    ooksasl
    i
    vidasIam.

    Tebogo:
    “Youpeopl
    ear
    emaki
    ngami
    stake,
    pleasespar
    eher
    .”

    If
    indi
    toddt
    hatTebogoi
    simpl
    ori
    ngonMar
    tha’
    sbehal
    f.

    Me:“Wehav
    esuff
    eredenoughwitht
    hiswomanTebogo,
    itendst
    oday
    .Whyar
    eyouf
    ight
    ingf
    or
    her
    ?Youtwoar
    eincahootstoget
    her
    ?”

    Sheshakesherheadv
    igor
    ousl
    y.

    Tebogo:
    “No,
    Mar
    thai
    syourf
    ri
    endNt
    ombi
    .”

    Me:
    “Yohhay
    i,Tebogouy
    adi
    namaan.Shei
    snotmyf
    ri
    end,
    Mar
    thai
    sawi
    tch.
    ”(You'
    reannoy
    ing.
    )

    Tebogoi
    sget
    ti
    ngi
    nthewayofmypl
    ans.Thi
    scr
    owdi
    shungr
    yforj
    ust
    iceandsoam I
    .

    “
    Wewi
    l
    lbur
    nheraswel
    li
    fshedoesn’
    tmov
    efr
    om her
    e.”

    Af emalevoi
    ceshoutsoutinangerandcausesanuproarastheychargeatt
    hem andattack
    them.Tebogoisinnocentsheshoul
    dn’tbecaughtupinthi
    s,ev
    eryt
    hingismessedup.Icanhear
    herscreamsasIstandpower l
    ess,t
    hesepeopleareoutofcont
    rol
    .

    Me:
    “STOP,
    STOP!
    !!
    ”

    Iscr
    eam att
    het
    opofmyl
    ungs,
    tonoav
    ail
    .IseeJonasandPet
    uni
    arunt
    owar
    dsme.

    Jonas:
    “Whati
    syourpr
    obl
    em Nt
    ombi
    ?Ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?”

    Her
    oughl
    ygr
    absmyar
    m andIwi
    ncei
    npai
    n.
    Me:
    “Bhut
    i,hel
    pTebogo.Theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lher
    .”

    Ibegwi t
    htearsrunni
    ngdownmycheeks, suddenl
    yther
    earepol
    i
    cesir
    ens.Ispotapoli
    cev
    an
    l
    urchingtowardsourdir
    ect
    ion,
    theyscur
    ryoutofthecarandi
    mmediat
    elystar
    tshoot
    ingwit
    h
    rubberbull
    ets.

    Jonas:
    “Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    Heshoutsashelugsmeaway,It
    urnbacktoseet
    hecrowdscatt
    eri
    nmay hem.Tebogoi
    sly
    ing
    unconsci
    ousbesi
    deMart
    ha,
    theykil
    l
    edher.Howwill
    Igetov
    erthi
    sguil
    t?

    Tobecont
    inued…
    90*

    SETHU*

    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveyou,
    Sethu,af
    terever
    ythi
    ngy ouhavebeent
    hrough,
    youl
    etamancomei
    ntoy
    our
    l
    i
    fe.Whyarey
    oucarel
    ess?Hav ey
    ounotl earnedal
    esson?
    ”

    Myf at
    herhasbeenchast
    isi
    ngmesincewegothome,Idon’
    tknowwhyhebroughtmetohis
    house.Idon’
    twantt
    obeher e,
    Iwantt
    ogohome.Imissmyspace,t
    hesepeoplesuf
    focat
    eme.

    Mymot heri
    ssitt
    ingont hecouchwi t
    hherheadsl antt
    ot hesi
    de,shelooksbr
    okenandoutofi t
    .
    I
    ’m si
    tt
    ingonthef arendofit,
    it’
    sathreeseater.Myfatheri
    sposit
    ionedonhisfavouri
    techai
    r,
    t
    hesepeoplehavehadt hesamesofasf oraslongasIcanr emember.Likemostoldpeople,
    t
    heyrefuset
    oembr acechange.Ionceof f
    eredtobuythem newfurnit
    urebut,
    myf atherdecl
    i
    ned.
    Hesaiditwi
    llnotfeelthesameast heywer eusedtotheseones.

    Me:
    “Hei
    snotNt
    okozodad,
    hewi
    l
    lnev
    erhur
    tme.
    ”

    Thi
    sisoneangr
    yol
    dman.

    Dad:“
    Howdoy ouknowt hi
    s?Youoncesai
    dthesameaboutNtokozo,heabusedyouandy ou
    cl
    aimedt
    hathediditoutoflov
    e.Wealmostbur
    iedy
    ouSethu,
    Iwillnotgothr
    oughthatagain.
    ”

    He’
    sli
    ter
    all
    ysay
    ingt
    hat
    ,Ishoul
    dst
    ayawayf
    rom men.

    Me:
    “Youwon’
    tdad.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead,
    ther
    e’snor
    easoni
    ngwi
    tht
    hisman.

    Dad:
    “I’
    m nott
    aki
    ngchanceswi
    thy
    ou,
    Iwanty
    out
    ost
    ayawayf
    rom hi
    m.”

    Myey
    esi
    tch,
    Iwantt
    orol
    lthem sobad.

    Me:
    “Butdad,
    Sty
    lesi
    snotl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .He’
    sagoodman,
    Ijustknowi
    t.
    ”

    Ican’
    timagi
    nenotseei
    nghi
    m agai
    n.

    Dad:
    “Set
    hu,
    you’
    redi
    sput
    ingwi
    thme?
    ”

    Thi
    sishowi
    tfeel
    sbei
    ngt
    hedaught
    erofapr
    inci
    pal
    ,myf
    atheri
    sst
    ri
    ctandwant
    sthi
    ngst
    ogo
    hi
    sway.

    Me:
    “I’
    m not
    .”

    Idr
    opmygaze,
    thi
    siswhathedoestome.Iendupsubmi
    tt
    ingt
    ohi
    m.Thi
    sist
    her
    eason,
    Idi
    dn’
    t
    wantt
    ocomebackhome,theywantt
    ocont
    rolmyli
    fe.

    Dad:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    ohearaboutt
    hisany
    mor
    e.”

    Me:
    “So,
    Iwi
    l
    lst
    aysi
    ngl
    emywhol
    eli
    fe?Don’
    tyout
    hinkt
    hatIwantaf
    ami
    l
    yofmyown?
    ”
    Dad:
    “Youwi
    llhav
    eyourownfamil
    y,chooseany
    onef
    rom chur
    ch.Ther
    ear
    egoodboy
    sther
    e,
    whocomefr
    om goodfamil
    i
    es.”

    Nev
    er.

    Me:
    “Chur
    chboy
    s,dad?
    ”

    Hef
    rownsatmyquest
    ion.

    Dad:
    “Yes,
    Iwi
    l
    lnotacceptany
    oneel
    seasmysoni
    n-l
    aw.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mom pl
    ease,
    tal
    ktodad.
    ”

    Shet
    urnst
    ogazeatmewi
    thagl
    oomyl
    ook.

    Mom:
    “Li
    stent
    oyourf
    atherSet
    hu,
    he’
    sal
    way
    sri
    ght
    .”

    Sheprocl
    aimssoftl
    y,she’
    sst
    il
    lmull
    i
    ngoverLebo’
    spr
    edi
    cament
    .Theyar
    esobentondest
    roy
    ing
    myli
    fe,I’
    m notgoi
    ngtodowhattheywant
    .

    Me:
    “Pl
    easet
    akemehomedad.
    ”

    Ilef
    tmycaratthehospi
    tal
    ,myf at
    herinsi
    stedthatIdr
    ivehomewit
    hthem,
    hedi
    dn’
    ttr
    ustmet
    o
    foll
    owbehi
    nd.Trut
    hbetold,Iwasgoingtodriv
    ehomet omyplace.

    Dad:
    “No,
    you’
    l
    lsl
    eepher
    etoni
    ght
    .We’
    regoi
    ngt
    oseeLebot
    omor
    row.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    her
    e.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    ewor
    kdad,
    Ican’
    tgo.
    ”

    I
    ’
    mly
    ing,
    I’
    m act
    ual
    l
    yof
    fwor
    kfort
    hreeday
    s.

    I
    ’
    m notr
    eadyt
    oseeherandIdoubtt
    hatIwi
    l
    lev
    erv
    isi
    ther
    .

    Mom:
    “OhLebo,
    nkosi
    yam’
    .Whathasshedonet
    hathasl
    andedheri
    njai
    l
    ?”(
    MyLor
    d.)

    She’
    stappedbackt
    oreal
    i
    tyatt
    hement
    ionofLebo’
    sname.Ishoul
    dbej
    eal
    ousbut
    ,Iam usedt
    o
    thi
    s.

    Me:
    “Dadpl
    ease,
    dropmeof
    f.
    ”

    Iwi
    l
    lnotspendt
    heni
    ghther
    e,mymot
    her
    ’smoodi
    sdr
    aini
    ngme.

    Dad:
    “Whymusty
    oubest
    ubbor
    nSet
    hu?Younev
    erl
    i
    stent
    ome,
    Isai
    d..
    ”

    He’
    sget
    ti
    ngupset
    .

    Me:“Il
    oveandrespecty
    oudadbut,Iam notoneofyourst
    udents.I
    ’myourchi
    l
    dandI
    ’
    m ol
    d
    enoughtomakemyowndeci si
    ons.Ihav
    ewor kint
    hemor ni
    ng,Ican’
    tsl
    eepover.
    ”

    Mom:
    “Whyar
    eyoust
    ubbor
    nSet
    hu?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m done.
    Me:“I
    ’
    llr
    equestforanUberandwai
    tfori
    tout
    side.Tel
    lthegi
    rl
    sIsai
    dhi
    andIwi
    l
    lvi
    sitt
    hem
    whenI’
    mf r
    ee.”

    Thei
    reyesfoll
    owmeasIst andandbegi nt
    owalkout ,
    theydon’tsayanythi
    ng.Thestreetsare
    emptyso,Iopttostandinsidethegate,
    whil
    eIrequestaride.Inoti
    ceafamili
    arcarparked
    acr
    ossthestreet
    ,it
    sheadlightsareon.ThedooropensandSt ylesjumpsout,hewaveswi t
    ha
    smil
    e.Whatishedoi nghere?Howdi dheknowt hatIwoul
    dbeher e?

    It
    wistmyheadbacktothehousetoseeifmyfat
    herisnottr
    ail
    i
    ngbehindme,t
    hatmant
    reat
    s
    melikeababywhoneedsnursi
    ng.I
    t’
    sall
    Ntokozo’
    sfault
    ,heinf
    li
    ctedt
    hisf
    eari
    nhim.

    Imarchout
    sidethegat
    einfeart
    hatmyfat
    herwi
    llseeSt
    yles,
    Ihav
    eal
    readybeenwar
    nedabout
    hi
    m andhewi l
    lnotr
    epeathi
    mself
    .Hedoesnotr
    epeathi
    mself.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    IaskSt
    ylesasIcr
    osst
    her
    oad,
    headedt
    ohi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Ist
    hishowy
    ouwel
    comey
    ourpot
    ent
    ial
    ?”

    Hedoesn’
    tseeany
    thi
    ngwr
    ongwi
    tht
    his.

    Me:
    “Mr
    .St
    yles…”

    Heput
    shi
    sfor
    efi
    ngeragai
    nstmymout
    h,pushi
    ngmywor
    dsback.

    St
    yles:“Fr
    om thisdayf or
    th,
    youwil
    lnotaddressmeasMr .Styl
    es.Iam St
    ylest
    oyouorcal
    lme
    Si
    shiifyouprefer.IspeakmymindSethu,rememberIt
    oldy outhi
    s?I’
    m doneplay
    inggames,
    I
    am goingtopursuey ouandIwil
    lhaveyou.
    ”

    Wher
    eist
    hiscomi
    ngf
    rom?Shoul
    dIt
    ell
    him whatmyf
    athersai
    d?

    Me:
    “Mr
    .St
    yles.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whoi
    sthat
    ?”

    Il
    augh.

    Me:
    “St
    yles…”

    I
    sthi
    smeagr
    eei
    ngt
    ohi
    m pur
    sui
    ngme?I
    tissomet
    hingt
    hatIwantt
    hough,
    I’
    m sur
    eofi
    t.

    Me:
    “Howdi
    dyouf
    indme?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “If
    oll
    owedy
    ou.
    ”

    Her
    epl
    i
    es,
    li
    kef
    oll
    owi
    ngpeopl
    eisnor
    mal
    ,Igi
    vehi
    m aqui
    zzi
    cal
    star
    e.

    Styl
    es:“Iknowt
    hissoundswei
    rdbut
    ,Ididn’
    ttr
    usty
    ourfat
    heraft
    erhepull
    edy
    ouawayl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .I
    thoughthewasgoingtobeaty
    ouup,thelookonhi
    sfacegavehim away
    .”

    Heexpl
    ains.

    Me:
    “Andy
    ouwoul
    d’v
    ehear
    dmescr
    eam f
    rom her
    e?”
    Thi
    sispr
    obabl
    ywhatheconcl
    uded,
    hepi
    nchest
    het
    ipofhi
    snoseashecl
    encheshi
    sey
    es.

    Yeah,
    her
    eal
    l
    ydi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkaboutt
    his.

    Me:
    “Myf
    athermi
    ghtbest
    ri
    ctbut
    ,hewi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    ayahandonme.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“
    I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    oinv
    adey
    ourpr
    ivacy
    .Iwaswor
    ri
    edandneededt
    oseei
    fyou’
    re
    okay.
    ”

    Me:
    “Asy
    oucansee.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ’st
    hest
    orywi
    thhi
    m any
    way
    ?”

    Me:
    “Theusual
    over
    prot
    ect
    ivef
    ather
    .”

    Hesmi
    l
    esandt
    akesmyhand.

    St
    yles:
    “You’
    regoi
    nghome?
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’st
    hepl
    an.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Letmet
    akey
    ou,
    then.
    ”

    Heof
    fer
    s.

    Me:
    “Whocansaynot
    oaf
    reer
    ide?
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    myf
    atheri
    saski
    ngmet
    ost
    ayawayf
    rom t
    his.I
    t’
    simpossi
    ble,
    hewi
    l
    lhav
    etof
    orgi
    ve
    me.

    AMARA*

    Thecol
    dbreezeisget
    ti
    ngstr
    ongerasthenightgrows,wearest
    il
    linthebackyar
    d.I
    ’m si
    tt
    ing
    besi
    deRandal
    lwithmyheadrest
    ingonhisshoulderandmyarm wrappedaroundhi
    s,the
    sol
    it
    udeandsil
    enceoftheni
    ghtkeepsusentert
    ained.I
    t’
    sbeenoveranhourandIhavechosen
    tost
    ayherewit
    hhim.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tyouwantt
    ogoi
    nsi
    de?
    ”

    I
    t’
    sfr
    eezi
    ngouther
    e.

    Randal
    l
    :“Yougo,
    I’
    ll
    fol
    l
    owabi
    tlat
    er.
    ”

    Hest
    aresi
    ntospaceasher
    epl
    i
    es.

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    lcat
    chacol
    dyouknowandIam notbaby
    ingany
    one.
    ”

    Fi
    nal
    l
    y,hel
    ooksatme,
    orgl
    ower
    srat
    her
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Baby
    ing?
    ”
    Me:“Yes,
    Isawi
    twithmyf at
    heronce.Theworl
    dhadtostopjustbecausehehadacol
    d,y
    ou’
    d
    swearhewasdy
    ing.Itannoy
    edmymot heral
    otbut
    ,shesti
    l
    ltookcareofhim.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Wel
    l
    ,youwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofmet
    oo,
    right
    ?”

    Hebr
    owsesmyl
    i
    psashel
    eanscl
    oser
    ,thi
    sist
    heRandal
    lIknow.

    Me:
    “Nah,
    li
    keIsai
    d.I
    ’
    m notbaby
    ingany
    one.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“But
    ,I’
    m notany
    one.
    ”

    He’
    sst
    il
    ll
    eani
    ngcl
    oser
    ,onemor
    emov
    eandIgett
    otast
    ehi
    sli
    ps.

    Me:
    “Whoar
    eyout
    hen?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    fIr
    emembercor
    rect
    ly,
    I’
    mtheonewhohol
    dsy
    ourhear
    t.
    ”

    Hewhisper
    sandi
    nst
    ant
    lyhi
    sli
    psbr
    ushagai
    nstmi
    ne,
    hecupsmycheekwi
    tht
    hepal
    m ofhi
    s
    hand.

    Randal
    :“Fem’
    ano.
    ”(Ki
    ssme.
    )

    Hemur
    mur
    s,bef
    orecagi
    ngmyl
    i
    ps,
    Idon’
    tknowwhathesai
    dbut
    ,itdi
    dsomet
    hingt
    ome.

    “
    Brot
    her
    .”

    I
    fe’
    svoi
    cecompelsmetomov eawayfr
    om hisar
    ms,Randal
    lsi
    ghsashelooksawayf
    rom her
    .
    She’
    sfi
    ddl
    i
    ngwithherf
    inger
    swhil
    eleer
    ingathi
    m wi
    thguil
    tonherf
    ace.

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m sor
    rybr
    other
    .”

    Shesay
    ssof
    tl
    y,hedoesn’
    tacknowl
    edgeher
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Excuseme.
    ”

    Heget
    supandwal
    ksaway
    .Whati
    sgoi
    ngonwi
    thhi
    m?

    I
    fe:
    “Lethi
    m be.
    ”

    Shest
    opsmeasIst
    artt
    ofol
    l
    owhi
    m.

    Me:
    “Ihav
    etoseei
    fhe’
    sokay
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “He’
    l
    lbeokay
    ,gi
    vehi
    m space.
    ”

    Me:“What’
    sgoi
    ngonI
    fe?Whydi
    dhi
    smoodchangewheny
    oument
    ionedUche?Whoi
    sthi
    s
    per
    son?”

    Shesi
    ghsasIbombar
    dherwi
    thquest
    ions,
    shet
    akesmyhandandpul
    l
    smet
    oaseat
    .

    If
    e:“Uchewasoursi st
    er,shewasf ouryearsyoungert hanbrother.Theywereinseparabl
    e,she
    fol
    lowedhim every
    where.Brotherdidn’
    tmi nd,helovedhav i
    ngherar ound.Onedayhehadan
    argumentwithagyaandr ushedoutofthehousei naf itofrage.Het ookhiscarwithouthi
    s
    permissi
    on,Iguesshewant edtogof oradr i
    ve,onlytoreali
    sethatUchewashi dingintheback
    seat.Hesayshehear dsobbingandhet urnedt ofi
    ndhert here,t
    hat’swhenat r
    uckcameoutof
    nowher
    eandcrushedagainsthi
    scar
    .Uchedi
    dn’
    tmakei
    t,shedi
    edi
    nst
    ant
    ly.Br
    otherhas
    bl
    amedhimsel
    fsince.
    ”(Father
    .)

    She’
    sonthev
    ergeoft
    ear
    sassher
    eci
    test
    hissadt
    ale.Ican’
    timagewhatRandal
    lmustbe
    feel
    i
    ng.

    Me:
    “If
    eI'
    m sor
    ry.
    ”

    Sheshr
    ugshershoul
    der
    s,t
    aki
    ngal
    ookofsadness.

    I
    fe:
    “Itwasal
    ongt
    imeago.
    ”

    Yesbut
    ,Randal
    li
    snotov
    eri
    t.

    Me:
    “WhataboutRandal
    l
    ?Hemustbef
    eel
    i
    ngbadr
    ightnow.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “IknowandIswear
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    obr
    ingi
    tup.
    ”

    Me:
    “Tel
    lmewhatt
    odo.HowdoIhel
    phi
    m?”

    I
    fe:
    “Lethi
    m bef
    ornow,
    he’
    l
    lbeokay
    .”

    WhydoIf
    indi
    thar
    dtobel
    i
    evet
    his?

    Me: “CanItr
    yandtal
    ktohim?Sometimeswethi
    nksomeoneneedstobealonebut,
    onthereal
    ,
    theyneedashouldert
    ocryon.Randal
    li
    saloner
    ,he’
    snott
    hetypethat
    ,wouldopenl
    yexpr
    ess
    hisfeeli
    ngs.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Lookaty
    ou,
    knowi
    ngy
    ourmanal
    ready
    .”

    Ial
    mostf
    orgotf
    oramomentt
    hat
    ,shei
    scr
    azy
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    dbesur
    pri
    sedbywhaty
    ouwoul
    dlear
    nfr
    om someonei
    naday
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Goahead,
    may
    behewi
    l
    lopenupt
    oyou.
    ”

    I
    t’
    swor t
    hat r
    y,Il
    eaveheroutsideasIpl
    odbacktot hehouseinsearchofhim.Thereheis,l
    aid
    backonthecouch.Hisfeetareonthecoff
    eetableandhisarmsfoldedacrosshischest
    .Ifeela
    needtotakeawayhispain.It
    oddletohim,hedoesn’tl
    ookup.Hiseyesarefarawayashi smind
    i
    slostsomewhere.Irestmyheadonhi sshoul
    derasIsitbesi
    dehim but,
    thereisnomov ement
    fr
    om him.

    Randal
    l
    :“Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    kabouti
    t.
    ”

    Hepr
    edi
    cts.

    Me:
    “If
    etol
    dmewhathappened.
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Iknowandwear
    enotgoi
    ngt
    otal
    kabouti
    t.
    ”

    Hedi
    smi
    ssesandt
    hat
    ’si
    t,Ican’
    tpushanyf
    urt
    her
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Ineedcof
    fee.
    ”

    Hesay
    saf
    teral
    ongsi
    l
    entmoment
    ,Iwat
    chhi
    m asheget
    sup.
    Randal
    l
    :“Doy
    ouwantany
    thi
    ng?
    ”

    That
    ’sf
    unnybecausehedoesn'
    tknowhi
    swayar
    oundt
    heki
    tchen.

    Me:
    “Cany
    oumakecof
    fee?
    ”

    Randal
    l
    :“Imaket
    hebest
    .”

    That
    ’sal
    i
    e.

    Hetakesmyhandandl
    eadsmet
    otheki
    tchen.Hopef
    ull
    yonedayhewi
    l
    ltel
    lmewhathe’
    s
    bot
    tl
    inginsi
    de.

    MBUSO*

    Icoul
    dn’tgot
    omyfather
    ’shouse,
    Ineedt
    ospeaktoLelo.Iwalki
    ntofindhersi
    tt
    ingonthesofa,
    watchi
    ngTV,shel
    ooksupatmeandsmi l
    es.Ican’
    tret
    urnitev
    enifIwantto,
    myheartisheavy
    .

    Me:
    “Canwet
    alk?
    ”

    Shet
    urnsof
    ftheTVasIset
    tl
    ebesi
    deher
    .

    Me:
    “Whati
    sitt
    haty
    ouwant
    ,Lel
    o?”

    Lel
    o:“
    Idon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wi
    thme,
    whatar
    eyouri
    ntensi
    ons?
    ”

    Shet
    akesmyhand,
    I’
    m notsur
    ewhatt
    hismeans,
    especi
    all
    yaf
    terwhathappenedt
    oday
    .

    Lel
    o:“
    Iwantt
    obewi
    thy
    ouMbuso,
    Iwanty
    ou.
    ”

    Nott
    heanswerIwashopi
    ngf
    or.

    Me:“That
    ’snotenough,
    itdoesn’
    tmeanany
    thi
    ng.Yousayy
    ouwantmebut
    ,youract
    ionssay
    somethi
    ngelse.
    ”

    Shedr
    opshergazeandshakesherhead.

    Lel
    o:“
    Iwasn’
    tcr
    yingf
    orhi
    m Mbuso,
    Iwoul
    dnev
    erdoy
    oul
    i
    ket
    hat
    .WhenIsawZu…”

    Thatname…

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    let
    ’sr
    efr
    ainf
    rom say
    inghi
    snamef
    ornow.
    ”

    Shel
    eer
    satmewi
    thasof
    tfr
    own,
    bui
    l
    dinguponherf
    ace.

    Lel
    o:“Iwascry
    ingbecauseofthepain,seei
    nghim,br
    oughtbackallt
    hosepai
    nful
    memori
    es.
    Theyengul
    fedmesomucht hat,
    Ifoundmy sel
    fint
    ears.IswearMbuso,i
    t’
    snotwhaty
    out
    hink.
    Youmeansomucht omeandI ’
    m sorry
    .”
    Sheexpl
    ains,
    Idon’
    tknowwhattobel
    iev
    e.Herey
    eshol dani
    mageofsi
    ncer
    it
    y,Iwantt
    obel
    i
    eve
    herbut
    ,IknowwhatIsawandIcan’
    tseem t
    ogetitoutofmymind.

    Me:“Lel
    o,y
    oudoknowt hatIam notpassi
    ngti
    mewi
    thy
    ou.We’
    rebot
    hadul
    tsher
    eandt
    hisi
    s
    notagame,peopl
    e’
    sfeeli
    ngsareinvol
    vedLel
    o.”

    Imakesur
    etol
    ooki
    ntoherey
    es,
    shehast
    oseehowser
    iousIam.

    Lel
    o:“
    Iknow,
    IknowandI
    ’
    m ani
    diot
    .”

    Me:
    “You’
    renotani
    diot
    .”

    Tear
    sfi
    l
    lupi
    nherey
    es,
    shedoesn’
    tusual
    l
    ygi
    vei
    ntoheremot
    ions.

    Lel
    o:“
    Iam,
    Ihur
    tyouandonl
    yani
    diotwoul
    dhur
    tagoodmanl
    i
    key
    ou.
    ”

    Imanaget
    olaughatt
    his.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youf
    orgi
    veme?
    ”

    Shecr
    adl
    esmycheek,
    Itakeherhandandpr
    essmyl
    i
    psonherpal
    m.Adi
    stantsmi
    l
    etakesov
    er
    hermout
    h.

    Me:
    “Notunt
    ily
    ouknowt
    hat
    ,Iam i
    nthi
    sandi
    t’
    shect
    ic.
    ”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Me:“
    Onthereal
    Lel
    o,don’
    tbr
    eakmyheart
    .Iwon’
    tbeabl
    etot
    akei
    t,t
    odayIf
    eltapangofwhati
    t
    woul
    dfeel
    li
    keandi
    t’
    stheworstf
    eel
    i
    nginthewor
    ld.
    ”

    Hert
    ear
    spar
    adedownhercheeks.

    Lel
    o:“
    Iwon’
    tMbusoandI
    ’
    m sor
    ry,
    Iwon’
    tst
    opsay
    ingi
    tti
    l
    lyourhear
    tfeel
    sbet
    ter
    .”

    Shepout
    swhi
    l
    efl
    i
    cker
    ingherl
    ashes.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youhav
    en’
    ttol
    dmet
    haty
    oul
    ovemet
    oday
    ,I’
    m notokay
    .”

    Ismi
    l
    eathersi
    l
    li
    ness.

    Me:
    “YouknowIl
    ovey
    ou.
    ”

    Shescoot
    scl
    osert
    omeandpr
    essesherf
    oreheadagai
    nstmi
    ne.

    Lel
    o:“
    Ilov
    eyou,
    Ilov
    eyousomuchi
    t’
    snotev
    enf
    unnyany
    mor
    e.”

    Herdecl
    arat
    ionhasmesni
    cker
    ing,
    Itaket
    hisoppor
    tuni
    tyt
    otast
    eherl
    i
    ps.

    Imi
    ghtactl
    i
    keI
    ’
    m okaybut
    ,itwi
    l
    ltakemeawhi
    l
    etogetov
    ert
    his.

    Lel
    o:“
    Youcamebackear
    ly.Di
    dyoumeetupwi
    thy
    ourf
    ather
    ?”

    Sheenqui
    resasshepul
    l
    sbackf
    rom t
    heki
    ss.

    Me:
    “Am It
    hatbadatki
    ssi
    ngt
    hat
    ,yout
    hinkofmyf
    atherdur
    ingsuchasacr
    edmoment
    ?”
    Shemakesaf
    ace.

    Lel
    o:“
    Anot
    herbadj
    oke.
    ”

    Sheshakesherhead,
    smi
    l
    ing.

    Me:
    “Dammi
    t.
    ..
    ”

    Shel
    aughsbef
    orer
    est
    ingherheadonmychest
    ,Icl
    aspmyar
    msar
    oundherasIhol
    dhercl
    oser
    .

    Lel
    o:“Youknowwheny
    ouwal
    kedoutt
    hatdoor
    ,It
    houghtIwoul
    dnev
    erseey
    ouagai
    n.Iwas
    ter
    ri
    fi
    ed.”

    Sheconf
    esses.

    Me:
    “Wher
    ewoul
    dIgol
    eav
    ingmyhouse?
    ”

    She’
    samusedbymyquest
    ion.

    Lel
    o:“
    Nextt
    imewehaveadisagreement
    ,rat
    hergosomewher
    eint
    hehouse,
    ify
    ouf
    eel
    li
    key
    ou
    wantt
    obeawayfr
    om me.Just,don’
    twal
    koutonme. ”

    Idi
    dn’
    tknowt
    hisi
    showshef
    eel
    s.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    ltr
    y,myf
    eetcont
    rol
    mey
    ouknow.Theydon’
    tcal
    lmeMr
    .Longl
    egsf
    ornot
    hing.
    ”

    Shepul
    l
    soutoft
    heembr
    aceandpi
    nchesmyar
    m.

    Me:
    “Ouch.
    ”

    Lel
    o:“
    Wil
    lyoubeser
    iousf
    oronce?
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    mtr
    ying,
    Mar
    thamust
    ’vegot
    tent
    ome.Iam f
    ini
    shed.
    ”

    Shef
    all
    sbackonthecouchasshecascadesi
    ntoapl
    easurabl
    elaugh,
    Icannotl
    oset
    hese
    moments.Iwi
    l
    lhol
    dont oherandt
    hisfeel
    i
    nginmyheart
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    91*

    RANDALL*

    I
    f ehadtoremindmeofapastIhadtri
    edhar
    dt oforget,mysweetUchel
    eftme.My
    reckl
    essnesscosther,
    herl
    if
    e.Shewasonl
    yeleveny ear
    soldwhenherli
    fewascutshor
    t,Ican
    neverfor
    givemyself
    ,Iknowmyparent
    swil
    lneverforgiv
    emeei t
    her.

    IlovehowAmar aisworr
    iedaboutme,i
    ttell
    smet hatsheisf al
    li
    ngforme,Ihavekeptt
    his
    feeli
    nginmyhear tfort
    oolong.Maybeit
    ’saboutti
    meIexpr essmy sel
    fbut,howdoIevendoi t
    ?
    Wor dsfailmewhenshei saround,
    Icanonlythi
    nkofhavingher .Hol
    dingherinmyarmsev er
    y
    nightwithoutbei
    ngabletohaveherist
    ortur
    e,Ithi
    nksheisr eadyformethough.

    I
    ’
    m atashoppi
    ngcent
    rei
    ntheSout
    h,Ij
    ustmetupwi
    thSt
    yles.

    Me:
    “Howar
    eyouher
    e?”

    St
    yles:“
    Yousai
    dtohav
    eIf
    efol
    l
    owedr
    ight
    ?Youwon’
    tbel
    i
    evewhoshe’
    sbeenhangi
    ngar
    ound
    wi
    th.”

    Hereveal
    saswesaunt erinsi
    det
    hemall,
    Ifehasbeeni
    nandoutofthehousef
    requent
    ly.I
    tgot
    mewor ri
    edbecauset
    il
    l t
    odaysheref
    usestoletmemeetherf
    ri
    ends.Ihav
    eafeeli
    ngthatshe
    mightbeseei
    ngsomeone.

    Me:
    “I’
    mthi
    nki
    ngi
    t’
    ssomeoneIknow.
    ”

    Mydaycannotgetworset
    hanthi
    s,mymooddr
    opsatt
    hesi
    ghtofRav
    en.He’
    swal
    ki
    ngt
    owar
    ds
    us,
    Ican’
    ttur
    nback,hehasseenme.

    Me:
    “Rav
    .”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    Rav
    en:
    “Uze.
    ”

    Iseehe’
    sev
    enadapt
    edt
    othi
    sname,
    Segunmustbepr
    oud.

    It
    ’shardtoi
    gnorethemaidenbesidehim becauseshe’
    ssmil
    ingatme,notoncehasshe
    removedhergazefrom me.She’
    saboutt hesameheightashim,shel
    ooksposhandcarr
    iesa
    confi
    dencethatscr
    eamsself-
    assurance.

    St
    ylesandIexchangegl
    ancesaswehaveputt
    hepuzzlet
    ogether,Iscowl
    atRav
    enwho’
    s
    smirki
    ngatme.Thewomani sst
    il
    lst
    ari
    ngandherst
    areaggr
    av at
    esme.

    Me:
    “Hav
    en’
    tyourpar
    ent
    stol
    dyout
    hati
    t’
    srudet
    ost
    are?
    ”

    Shedr
    opshergazebut
    ,keepst
    hesmi
    l
    e.

    Her
    :“Kosekaf
    raokunu.
    ”(I
    ’
    m sor
    rymyhusband.
    ”
    Herwor
    dsev
    okeacer
    tai
    nangerwi
    thi
    nme.

    Me:
    “Whatdi
    dyoucal
    lme?
    ”

    Sherai
    seshereyesanddr
    opst
    hem agai
    n,Ihat
    etheassur
    ancet
    hatshecar
    ri
    es.Theydef
    ini
    tel
    y
    gotherhopesup.

    Raven:“Rel
    axbro,
    she’sjusthappyt
    oseey
    ou.Shehasonl
    yseeny
    oui
    npi
    ctur
    esandmustbe
    overwhelmedbyyourpresence.”

    Iam t
    empt
    edt
    opuncht
    hesmugl
    ookonhi
    sface,
    Ifbet
    ray
    all
    i
    vedi
    nabodyt
    henRav
    eni
    sthe
    car
    ri
    er.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngRav
    en?Whati
    sthi
    s?”

    Ican’
    texpr
    esst
    hel
    evel
    ofmyanger
    ,itf
    eel
    sli
    kei
    thasal
    i
    feofi
    tsown.

    Rav
    en:
    “IfMohammedcan’
    tcomet
    othemount
    ain…”

    Me:
    “Fucky
    ou,
    Rav
    en,
    youhearme.
    ”

    Ist
    ophi
    m bef
    orehef
    ini
    sheshi
    sst
    upi
    dli
    ne.

    St
    yles:
    “Cal
    m downbr
    o,t
    hisi
    snotwor
    thi
    t.
    ”

    Ican’
    tcal
    m down.

    Rav
    en:
    “YoumustbeSt
    yles,
    I’
    vehear
    dal
    otabouty
    ou.
    ”

    Hef
    ami
    l
    iar
    izesashest
    ret
    chesouthi
    shandt
    ohi
    m,St
    ylesgr
    imaces.

    St
    yles:
    “Unf
    ort
    unat
    ely
    ,Ihav
    ehear
    dnot
    hingbutshi
    tabouty
    ou.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    tst
    hroughgr
    it
    tedt
    eet
    h,Rav
    enchor
    tl
    esasheshakeshi
    shead.

    Rav
    en:
    “Ican’
    tbet
    hatbad.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Hav
    eyoudowngr
    adedf
    rom apr
    incet
    oapr
    ivat
    einv
    est
    igat
    orRav
    en?
    ”

    Iunder
    standhi
    squest
    ions.Whyi
    sRav
    eni
    ntheSout
    handwhyi
    sheher
    ewi
    thher
    ?

    Rav
    en:
    “Mybr
    otherher
    edi
    dn’
    twantt
    omeetRut
    hso,
    Ihadt
    obr
    inghert
    ohi
    m.

    Me:
    “You’
    rest
    alki
    ngmeUzoma?
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tcal
    li
    tst
    alki
    ng,
    justkeepi
    nganey
    eonmyl
    i
    ttl
    ebr
    other
    .”

    Whyi
    shesosur
    eofhi
    msel
    f?Ican’
    tseem t
    oputmyf
    ingert
    oit
    .

    Me:
    “Youst
    ayawayf
    rom me,
    Uzoma.Iwantnot
    hingt
    odowi
    tht
    his.
    ”

    Rav
    en:
    “Thi
    s,asy
    oucal
    li
    tbr
    otheri
    syourdest
    iny
    ,youcanr
    unbuty
    oucan’
    thi
    def
    rom i
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sgoSt
    yles.
    ”

    Myt
    racksar
    est
    oppedbyasmal
    lhandgr
    abbi
    ngmyar
    m,Iknowi
    t’
    sRut
    h.Iy
    ankmyhandaway
    asIt
    urnback.

    Me:
    “Howdar
    eyout
    ouchme?
    ”

    Shedr
    opshergaze.

    Rut
    h:“
    I’
    m sor
    rymyhusband.
    ”

    Me:“
    Don’tcallmethat
    ,Iam not
    hingt
    oyou.Whatevert
    hesepeopl
    etol
    dyouIhav
    enot
    hingt
    odo
    wi
    thi
    t.Idon’tknowyouandIhavenoint
    eresti
    nyou.”

    Ihopeshei
    ssensi
    ble,
    unl
    i
    kemybr
    otherandf
    ather
    .

    Rut
    h:“
    But
    ,whatwi
    l
    lIdoi
    fyour
    ejectme.Igr
    ewupknowi
    ngy
    ouasmyhus…”

    Me:“Ican’
    ttaker
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    tyf
    oryouandwhathappensi nyourl
    i
    fe,y
    ouneedt
    ogobackwher
    e
    youcamef r
    om andwhatiti
    syout
    hinkmighthappen,
    fleefr
    om it
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Shel
    ooksl
    i
    keasmar
    twoman,
    I’
    m sur
    eitwon’
    tbehar
    dforher
    .”

    Rut
    h:“
    Iapol
    ogi
    zebut
    ,Iwi
    l
    lhav
    etodecl
    i
    ne.Ican’
    twal
    kawayf
    rom t
    his.
    ”

    Theyt
    aughthert
    obest
    ubbor
    naswel
    l
    .

    Rav
    en:
    “You’
    reonl
    ywast
    ingy
    ourt
    imeUze.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    tswi
    thasmi
    rkonhi
    sface,
    he’
    sgott
    obehy
    pnot
    ized.

    I
    ’
    m act
    ual
    l
    ywast
    ingmyt
    imebyent
    ert
    aini
    ngt
    hem andIam done.

    It
    urnandt
    readof
    f,t
    heybet
    ternotst
    opme.

    St
    yles:
    “Yourbr
    otherhasl
    osthi
    m mi
    nd.
    ”

    Hest
    atesasheambl
    esbesi
    deme.

    Me:
    “Iwasi
    nthepr
    esenceofSegun,
    notRav
    en.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Thatbast
    ardi
    sdar
    ngood.
    "

    Suddenl
    y,i
    tfeel
    li
    ket
    her
    eisnowayoutoft
    his.Ther
    eisoneper
    sonwhocangi
    vemebackmy
    hope.

    Me:
    “Ineedt
    ocal
    lAmar
    a.”

    St
    yles:
    “Whati
    shedoi
    ngher
    eany
    way
    ?”

    I
    ’
    m aski
    ngmy
    sel
    fthesamet
    hing.

    Me:
    “Isweart
    hosepeopl
    ear
    edr
    ivi
    ngmecr
    azy
    .”

    Igr
    untaswet
    urnacor
    ner
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Ify
    out
    hinkt
    hatt
    heyar
    edr
    ivi
    ngy
    oucr
    azy
    ,hav
    eal
    ookov
    ert
    her
    e.”

    Hepoi
    ntst
    owar
    dst
    hef
    oodj
    oint
    ,IspotI
    fewi
    thMkhont
    o.Theyar
    ecosyandt
    oocl
    osef
    ormy
    l
    i
    king.shescr
    eamsasIgr
    abherar
    m.

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    other
    ?”

    Shedi
    dn’
    texpectt
    oseemeher
    e.

    Me:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    lIf
    e?Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngwi
    tht
    hisman?Doy
    ouknowwhohei
    s?”

    Isnapather
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    other
    ,letgoofmyhand.
    ”

    Mkhont
    odoesn’
    tlookhappyt
    oseemeori
    sitt
    hewayI
    ’
    m handl
    i
    ngI
    fe.

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Eishbossman.
    ”

    Me:“Don’
    tyoutal
    ktome.Howdar
    eyouMkhont
    o?Whathappenedt
    oloy
    alt
    y?She’
    smysi
    ster
    ,
    she’
    sonlysev
    enteen.
    ”

    Mkhont
    o:“
    Hadebossman,
    itj
    usthappened.
    ”

    Whendi
    dtheyev
    enmeet
    ?

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngt
    odeal
    wit
    hyoul
    ater
    .Asf
    ory
    ouI
    feany
    i.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Br
    otherI
    ’
    m sor
    ry,
    Iwant
    edt
    otel
    lyou.
    ”

    She’
    scr
    ying.

    Me:
    “Ist
    hiswhyy
    oudon’
    twantt
    ogobackhome?
    ”

    Shef
    inal
    l
    ypul
    l
    sawayf
    rom mygr
    ip.

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngbackt
    her
    e,myl
    i
    fei
    sher
    enow.I
    t’
    swi
    thhi
    m.”

    Shestat
    eswit
    hanatti
    tudeasshepoint
    satMkhonto,Idon’
    tknowwhyhe’
    sst
    il
    lher
    e.Ichar
    geat
    herandshehi
    desbehi
    ndStyl
    es,usi
    nghim asashi
    eld.

    Me:
    “Youbet
    terf
    oll
    owmet
    othecari
    fyouknowwhat
    ’sgoodf
    ory
    ou.
    ”

    Ibegi
    ntost
    rol
    laway
    ,Iam sodi
    sappoint
    edint
    heset
    wo.Mkhontoisnotthet
    ypeofamanI
    wouldsi
    twi
    thatadi
    nnert
    ableandli
    stentohi
    mtel
    lmestor
    iesabouthi
    smarriedl
    i
    fewi
    thmy
    si
    ster
    .

    NOMBULELO*

    Br
    enda:
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ourl
    i
    fei
    samov
    ieLel
    o.”

    Me:
    “I’
    m st
    il
    lshockedt
    il
    ltoday
    .”

    I
    t’
    slunchhour
    ,Br
    endaandIar
    eint
    hecant
    een.Ihav
    ejustnar
    rat
    edt
    ohermyr
    easonf
    ormi
    ssi
    ng
    wor
    kforaf
    ewday
    s.

    Br
    enda:
    “Andy
    ouknowt
    hiswoman?
    ”

    Me:
    “Mymot
    her
    ’sbestf
    ri
    end,
    peopl
    ear
    eev
    ilBr
    enda.
    ”

    Br
    enda:
    “Iknowr
    ight
    .It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dst
    artat
    tendi
    ngchur
    ch.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    tseet
    hiscomi
    ng,
    especi
    all
    yfr
    om her
    .

    Me:
    “Inev
    ert
    houghtoft
    hat
    .”

    Br
    enda:
    “Li
    key
    ousai
    d,i
    t’
    saspi
    ri
    tual
    war
    far
    e.Thi
    sishowy
    ouf
    ightback,
    trustmeIknow.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    tknowshewasachur
    chaper
    son.

    Br
    enda:
    “Icani
    ntr
    oducey
    out
    oonei
    fyoul
    i
    ke.
    ”

    Sheof
    fer
    s.

    Me:
    “Yougot
    ochur
    ch?
    ”

    I
    ’m st
    il
    lshocked,Br
    endaswearsli
    keit
    ’sthemill
    enni
    um andthewor
    ldisendi
    ng.Shet
    alksabout
    ot
    herpeoplethananyt
    hingel
    se,basi
    call
    y,she’
    sthecomplet
    eopposi
    teofachurchgi
    rl
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “Yes,
    Igot
    ochur
    ch.I
    t’
    smyhome,
    ifI
    ’
    m notatwor
    k,I
    ’
    m atchur
    ch.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m st
    il
    ldumbf
    ounded.I
    sthi
    swhatchur
    chi
    slat
    ely
    ?

    Me:
    “Wher
    eist
    hispl
    acey
    ouwantt
    oint
    roducemet
    o?”

    Shesmi
    l
    es.

    Br
    enda:
    “Doest
    hisy
    ou’
    rekeen?
    ”

    Me:
    “I’
    mjustaski
    ng,
    IdoubtIwi
    l
    lhav
    eti
    met
    ogot
    ochur
    ch.
    ”

    Mymotherusedt
    otel
    lthaty
    oudon’
    tgoat
    tendi
    ngchur
    ches,
    younev
    erknowwhati
    sreal
    l
    ybei
    ng
    donet
    here.

    Brenda:“
    It
    ’ssomewher
    einJobur
    g.Howabouty
    oucomewi
    thonSundayandy
    ou’
    l
    ldeci
    dei
    fyou
    l
    ikeitornot.
    ”

    Sher
    eal
    l
    ywant
    smet
    ocomet
    othi
    schur
    chofher
    s.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    letmet
    hinkabouti
    t.
    ”

    Myi
    ntui
    ti
    oni
    snudgi
    ngatme,
    hersmi
    l
    efadesi
    nst
    ant
    ly.

    Me:
    “Andt
    hen?
    ”

    Br
    enda:
    “Not
    hing.
    ”

    She’
    ssuddenl
    ygr
    ouchy
    .

    Me:
    “It
    ’snotr
    eal
    l
    yabi
    gdeal
    ifIcomeornot
    .”
    Sheshr
    ugs.

    Me:
    “Fi
    ne,
    I’
    ll
    comewi
    th.But
    ,Ihopei
    t’
    snotchur
    chest
    hatgot
    hewhol
    eday
    .”

    Shesmi
    l
    eswi
    del
    y.

    Br
    enda:
    “Thr
    eehour
    sandwer
    edone.
    ”

    Me:
    “May
    beMbusocant
    agal
    onghey
    .”

    Br
    enda:
    “Ify
    ouwantbut
    ,Idoubtt
    hedoct
    orwi
    l
    lbekeen.
    ”

    Howdoessheknowhi
    s?

    Br
    enda:
    “It
    ’schur
    ch,
    he’
    l
    lbebor
    edt
    odeat
    h.”

    Sheexpl
    ains,
    Idon’
    tknowi
    fthat
    ’st
    rue.

    Me:
    “I’
    l
    lint
    roducet
    hei
    deat
    ohi
    m andsee.
    ”

    Br
    enda:
    “Ify
    ouwant
    .Howi
    sthegooddoct
    orany
    way
    ?”

    Me:“Thi
    sisalsoonet opi
    cshenevermisses,
    thequesti
    ons,t
    heprobi
    ngandherinquisi
    ti
    veness
    i
    nourrelati
    onshi
    p.Icouldbereadi
    ngtoomuchintoit
    ,Mbusoi saknownDoctoratthishospi
    tal
    .
    Al
    though,he’
    safreelancer
    .Ispoketohi
    m aboutt
    his,i
    t’
    sti
    meheget saj
    obatabi ggerhospit
    al.

    Me:
    “He’
    sal
    ri
    ght
    ,It
    hinkourl
    unchbr
    eaki
    sov
    er.Shal
    lwego?
    ”

    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oent
    ert
    ainher
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “Comeon,
    wehav
    etenmi
    nut
    esl
    eft
    .”

    Me:
    “Yeah,
    Ineedt
    hebat
    hroom.
    ”

    Brenda:
    “Isi
    tthef
    ishagai
    n?Youshoul
    dst
    opf
    eedi
    ngt
    hepoorchi
    l
    dfi
    sh,
    it’
    sal
    mostsady
    ou
    know.”

    Whosebabyi
    sitagai
    n?

    Me:
    “Igi
    veGokuwant
    shewant
    sorel
    sehewi
    l
    lgi
    vemehar
    dti
    me.
    ”

    DidIjustsaythatnameoutl
    oud?Shelaughs,i
    t’
    snotreall
    ythatf
    unny.She’
    snotst
    oppingso,
    thisi
    swhatmybabywi l
    lgothr
    ough.Peopl
    elaughi
    ngathisname, It
    oldMbusobut,hechoset
    o
    staywithitandit
    ’sst
    uckinmymind.Idon’
    tseemy sel
    flet
    tinggoofit
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “You’
    renami
    ngy
    ourchi
    l
    daf
    teracar
    toonchar
    act
    er?
    ”

    She’
    sst
    il
    ll
    aughi
    ng,
    Imadeherdaywi
    tht
    hisone.

    Me:
    “Hi
    sfat
    hercal
    l
    shi
    mthat
    .”

    Br
    enda:
    “Cut
    ethough.Howdi
    dyout
    wof
    all
    pregnantsof
    ast
    ?”

    She’
    sint
    hedar
    kaboutmydr
    eadedpast
    .
    Me:
    “Howdoesacoupl
    efal
    lpr
    egnantBr
    enda?
    ”

    Sher
    aisesherhandsi
    ndef
    ence.

    Br
    enda:
    “Don’
    tbi
    temyheadof
    f,I
    ’
    m onl
    yaski
    ng.
    ”

    Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    kabouthi
    m wi
    thher
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngbacki
    n,I
    ’
    llseey
    ou.
    ”

    Iseeaguyappr
    oachmeasIgetup,
    hel
    ooksf
    ami
    l
    iar
    .Hesmi
    l
    esbef
    oreheget
    stome,
    I’
    m
    alr
    eadynar
    ked.

    Hi
    m:“
    Nkosazana.
    ”(Lady
    .)

    I
    t’
    sthei
    diotwhocamel
    ooki
    ngf
    orMbusot
    heot
    herday
    ,Ir
    ecogni
    zet
    hatZul
    uaccent
    .

    Me:
    “CanIhel
    pyou?
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Isawaf
    ami
    l
    iarf
    aceandt
    houghti
    twoul
    dber
    udeofmei
    fIdon’
    tgr
    eet
    .”

    Hedoesn’
    tknowme.

    Me:
    “Yousawmeonce.
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    And,
    woul
    dyoul
    ookatmyl
    uck?Theuni
    ver
    sei
    sonmysi
    de.
    ”

    He’
    ssmi
    l
    ingatmeandIam notr
    etur
    ningi
    t.

    Me:
    “Excuseme.
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Won’
    tyoul
    etmebuyy
    oul
    unch.
    ”

    HespeaksasI
    ’
    m aboutst
    ri
    deof
    f.

    Me:
    “Ij
    usthadl
    unch.
    ”

    Hi
    m:“
    Howaboutdi
    nner
    ?”

    Br
    endal
    ooksj
    ustasannoy
    ed,
    ifI
    ’
    mreadi
    ngherexpr
    essi
    oncor
    rect
    ly.

    Me:
    “Whywoul
    dIwantt
    ohav
    edi
    nnerwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Whyam Ient
    ert
    aini
    nghi
    m?

    Hi
    m:“
    BecauseI
    ’
    m aski
    ngni
    cel
    y,sur
    elyy
    oucan’
    tdenyt
    hissmi
    l
    e.”

    Hepoi
    ntst
    ohi
    smout
    h,Ir
    oll
    myey
    esathi
    m.I
    ’
    vebeenwant
    ingt
    o.

    Me:
    “Wasi
    tnoty
    ouwhocamet
    omyhousel
    ooki
    ngf
    orMbuso?
    ”

    Hesqui
    ntshi
    sey
    es.

    Hi
    m:“
    Int
    hef
    lesh.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thoughtasmuch,
    excuseme.
    ”
    Iwal
    kpasthi
    m,t
    ohav
    eBr
    endamar
    chbehi
    ndme.

    Br
    enda:
    “Andt
    hen,
    lona?
    ”

    Sheasks,
    try
    ingt
    okeepupwi
    thmyf
    astpace.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow.
    ”

    Brenda:“Yoh,
    peopleliketaki
    ngchances.Wor
    dofadvi
    ce,don’
    teverdateaZul
    uguy.Hewi
    ll
    sweepy ouoffyourfeetwithhischarmsandt
    hedeepaccent,
    youwillmel
    tandyouknowwhat
    he’l
    ldo?Uzokukoroba.”(He’l
    lmopy ou.
    )

    Whatdi
    dshej
    ustsay
    ?

    Me:
    “Tool
    ate,
    I’
    m dat
    ingone.
    ”

    Myi
    nst
    inctt
    ell
    smet
    ost
    aycl
    earoft
    hatman.

    SETHU*

    I
    t’
    sbeenaweeksinceLebo’
    sarrest,
    sheref
    usestot
    ell
    uswhatshedi d.Iheardrumoursatwork
    t
    hatshewasint
    oshadydeal
    ings,thegossi
    per
    swerealitt
    levagueonspecif
    ics.Ihav
    en’tbeen
    t
    oseeher,
    thetemptat
    ioni
    sthere.Sheismycousi
    nafterall
    andIkindoffeelbadforher.

    “
    Set
    hu.Di
    dyouseet
    hepaper
    stoday
    ?”

    Tracy
    ,oneofmycolleaguessays,I
    ’minapati
    ent
    ’sroom andIdoubtt
    hisi
    sthet
    imetogossi
    p.
    Thankful
    l
    ythepat
    ientissleepi
    ng,
    IsighasIpr
    eparetogi
    v ehert
    heatt
    enti
    onshewant
    s.

    Me:
    “Whati
    sit
    ?”

    Shehandsmet
    hel
    ocal
    newspaper
    ,dat
    edt
    oday
    .Itst
    atesLebo'
    ssi
    ns.

    OhmyGod,
    thi
    sisbad.

    Tr
    acy:“
    It
    ’ssadyouknow,
    Ial
    way
    sfoundhert
    obeabi
    tchbut
    ,Inev
    eri
    magi
    nedt
    hatshewoul
    d
    dosuchathing.
    ”

    Igl
    anceather,
    Idon’
    tcareaboutherj
    udgement
    .I’
    mfl
    abber
    gast
    edr
    ather
    ,thi
    sisnotmycousi
    n.
    Shewouldn’
    tbethi
    scruel
    ,wouldshe?

    Me:
    “Whoel
    seknowsaboutt
    his?
    ”

    Tr
    acy:“
    Basi
    call
    ythewholehospi
    tal
    ,rumourhasi
    tthatDoct
    orMay
    iwast
    heonebehi
    ndt
    he
    i
    ll
    egal
    abort
    ion.Lebowashispuppet
    .”

    Shest
    ates

    Ihav
    etogethome.Mypar
    ent
    shav
    etoseet
    his.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easecov
    erf
    orme.
    ”
    Tr
    acy
    :“Wher
    eaey
    ougoi
    ng?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ineedt
    ogohome,
    canIbor
    rowt
    hispaper
    ?”

    Tr
    acy
    :“Sur
    ebut
    ,youcan’
    tleav
    e.You’
    l
    lgeti
    ntr
    oubl
    eSet
    hu.
    ”

    Iknowbut
    ,thi
    sisi
    mpor
    tant

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    Tracy
    .I’
    l
    lowey
    ouone,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Istat
    eurgent
    lyasIrushoutoft
    heroom,Ineedtogethome.Theyhav
    etoseet
    his.Wegett
    o
    thecorr
    idort
    oseethepoli
    cedraggi
    ngDoctorMayiaway.

    May
    i:“
    Don’
    ttouchme,
    Iwi
    l
    lsuey
    ou.
    ”

    Hey
    ell
    swhi
    l
    etr
    yingt
    oresi
    star
    rest
    .

    Tr
    acy
    :“Yeahneh.Thedr
    amai
    nthi
    spl
    ace.
    ”

    Shecl
    apsonce,
    Ist
    il
    lhav
    eaj
    our
    neyt
    otake.

    Idri
    vehomei nful
    lspeed, t
    hegateisopen.Myf at
    hermustbehomewhi chisgood.Iwalkinthe
    l
    ivi
    ngr oom tomeetat ypicalspr
    ingcl
    eaningcommonpl ace,RebeccaMalopeispl
    ayinginthe
    backgr ound.Thecurt
    ainshav ebeenremoved,thesofasaredisorgani
    zedandtheli
    vingroom i
    s
    bri
    ghterthanusualduet othesunli
    ghtil
    l
    umi nat
    ingthr
    oughthenakedwi ndows.

    Me:
    “Mom.
    ”

    Ispothersquat
    ti
    ngbehi
    ndt
    hecouch,she’
    smopping.Shepeeksov
    erandsmi
    l
    esatme,
    itf
    all
    s
    awaywhenshenot i
    cest
    hegri
    m expr
    essi
    onthathascapt
    uredmyface.

    Mom:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Sl
    owl
    y,sher
    isesf
    rom t
    hef
    loor
    ,leer
    ingatmeasI
    ’
    m aboutt
    ogi
    vehert
    hewor
    stnews.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sLebo.
    ”

    Shepani
    cs,i
    t’
    svisi
    blet
    hroughherchestasi
    tri
    sesandf
    all
    srobust
    ly.It
    hinkshe’
    saboutt
    oget
    anot
    herat
    tack.

    Mom:
    “Whathappenedt
    oLebo?Whathappenedt
    omybaby
    ?”

    Shehasal wayscal
    ledherthat.Ireachoutmyhandt oher
    ,shetoddlestowardsmeand
    snatchesthepaperfrom myhand, li
    ter
    all
    y.Iwat
    chherexpressi
    onchangetohorrorasshe
    readsit,
    every
    thi
    nghappensi nslowmot i
    on,i
    tmustbeduet oshock.Thepapergoesdownfi
    rst
    ,
    foll
    owedbyher ,
    Ibarelyhav
    eachancet ocatchher
    .

    Me:
    “Dad.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam f
    ormyf
    atherasIkneel
    bef
    oremymot
    her
    .Myf
    atheri
    spr
    obabl
    ysomewher
    eint
    he
    house.

    Me:
    “Dad,
    dad.
    ”
    Iscr
    eam oncemore.Bei
    nganurse,
    panici
    sthel
    astt
    hingt
    hatshoul
    dcometomindbut,asa
    daught
    erit
    ’st
    hefi
    rstthi
    ngIl
    eti
    n.Irai
    semyheadtoseemyfatherr
    ushi
    nfr
    om out
    side,
    he
    must’
    vebeenint
    heback.

    Dad:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Me:
    “Shef
    oundoutt
    het
    rut
    haboutLeboandf
    aint
    ed.
    ”

    Dad:
    “How?Ihav
    ebeenconceal
    i
    ngi
    tfr
    om hersi
    ncemor
    ning.
    ”

    Wai
    t!What
    ?

    Thesepeopl
    edon’
    ttel
    lmeany
    thi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Ibr
    oughtt
    hepaper
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tknowt
    hati
    twoul
    daf
    fectherl
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Ei
    shSet
    hu.
    ”

    Me:
    “Shewi
    l
    lbef
    inedad,
    let
    ’sgethert
    obed.
    ”

    Ihookmyhandsunderherar
    mpi
    tswhi
    l
    ehegr
    absherankl
    es,
    wel
    i
    ftherupandcar
    ryhert
    obed.

    Me:
    “What
    ’sgoi
    ngondad?Whyi
    smom soaf
    fect
    edbyLebol
    i
    ket
    his?Idon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghsashesi
    tsont
    heedgeoft
    hebed.

    Dad:
    “Yourmot
    heri
    snotwel
    l
    ,wecant
    alkaboutt
    hissomeot
    hert
    ime.
    ”

    He’
    sdi
    smi
    ssi
    ngme.

    Me:
    “Iwantt
    oknownow.
    ”

    Hesneer
    satme.

    Dad:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Whyhav
    eyoubecomest
    ubbor
    n?”

    Whendi
    dthi
    sbecomeaboutme?

    Dad:
    “Isi
    tthatboy
    ?Iknowt
    haty
    ou’
    rest
    il
    lseei
    nghi
    m.”

    Gosh…

    Me:
    “It
    houghtwewer
    etal
    ki
    ngaboutLebo.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Iwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofy
    ourmot
    her
    ,youshoul
    dgobackt
    owor
    k.”

    He’
    schasi
    ngmeaway
    .

    Me:
    “WhataboutLebo?Wi
    l
    lyougetheral
    awy
    er?
    ”

    Dad:
    “Herf
    athershoul
    dtakecar
    eoft
    hat
    .”

    Thatl
    oser
    .

    Me:
    “Youknowhewon’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Dad:
    “Idon’
    tknowSet
    hu.
    ”

    Mom:
    “Pl
    easehel
    pLebo.
    ”

    Mymot
    herhasr
    egai
    nedconsci
    ousness.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokaymom?
    ”

    Mom:
    “Mybaby
    ,pl
    easehel
    pyourcousi
    n.Getheroutoft
    hatpl
    ace.
    ”

    Whati
    ssheaski
    ngme?

    Ther
    e’sdesper
    ati
    oni
    nherey
    es.

    Okay
    …I’
    m of
    fi
    cial
    l
    yjeal
    ous.

    Me:
    “Whatwi
    l
    lIdo?
    ”

    Shet
    akesmyhand.

    Mom:
    “Getheragoodl
    awy
    er.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wher
    ewi
    l
    lIgetmoneyf
    oral
    awy
    ermom?
    ”

    Mom:“IknowwhatI’
    m abouttoasky
    ouiscrazybutLeboneedsy
    ou.Youareherl
    asthope
    Set
    hu,
    herfatheri
    sadrunkar
    d,he’
    susel
    essandmysi st
    eri
    sunemployed.
    ”

    Ican’
    tfi
    ndawaythr
    oughherwor
    ds,
    it’
    sdar
    k.Iogl
    eatmyf
    ather
    ,thel
    ookonhi
    sfacesay
    she
    knowswherehi
    swif
    eistr
    eadi
    ng.

    WhydoIhav
    eaf
    eel
    i
    ngt
    hatIwi
    l
    lnotl
    i
    ket
    his?
    ”

    Mom: “Iknowt
    haty
    ouhav
    edr
    eamsandonedayy
    ouwi
    l
    lful
    fi
    lthem butnow,
    thi
    nkofy
    our
    cousi
    n.”

    Todayi
    s‘l
    et’
    sconf
    useSet
    huday
    .’Whydoesn’
    tshecomeoutandsayi
    t?

    Me:
    “Whati
    sitt
    haty
    ou’
    reaski
    ngmet
    odomom?
    ”

    Sheglancesatmyfather
    ,thenbackatme.Herexpr
    essi
    onsay
    ssheal
    readyknowsmyanswer
    ,
    al
    thoughobli
    vioust
    oherquesti
    ons.

    Mom:
    “Usey
    ouri
    nvest
    ment
    s.”

    Idon’
    tknowi
    fIshoul
    dlaugh,
    cryorcal
    lhercr
    azy
    .

    Me:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    odot
    hat
    .”

    Mom:
    “Set
    hupl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “No,
    that
    ’smymoney
    .Iwor
    kedhar
    dfori
    t,i
    t’
    smyf
    utur
    emom.
    ”

    Mom:
    “Iknowbabyandwewi
    l
    lpayi
    tback,
    Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”

    Ihat
    ethatshe’
    spl
    eadi
    ngf
    orLebo.
    Me:
    “Ar
    eyoui
    nont
    hisdad?
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Dad:
    “I’
    m onl
    yhear
    ingabouti
    tnow.
    ”

    Thenwhyi
    shesocal
    m abouti
    t?Am It
    heonl
    yonewhoseeshowcr
    azyt
    hisi
    s?

    Me:
    “You’
    reaski
    ngt
    ohel
    pthev
    erysamewomanwhohasmademyl
    i
    feal
    i
    vinghel
    l
    .”

    Mom: “Youcan’
    tst
    il
    lbeli
    vi
    ngint
    hepastSet
    hu,
    youneedt
    omov
    eon.Youcan’
    tabandony
    our
    si
    sterwhensheneedsyou.”

    Wow.

    Me:
    “Shei
    snotmysi
    ster
    ,she’
    saf
    leat
    hatsucksal
    lthebl
    oodi
    nyou.
    ”

    Dad:
    “Set
    hust
    opi
    t.
    ”

    Shegr
    owl
    satme.

    Me:“No,
    mom needst
    ost
    op.Whywoul
    dyouwantt
    odot
    hist
    ome?DoImeant
    hismucht
    oyou
    guy
    s?”

    Ir
    efuset
    ocr
    yov
    ert
    his.

    Mom:
    “Mybaby
    .”

    Me:
    “Lebomeansnot
    hingt
    ome,
    ify
    oupeopl
    ewantt
    ohel
    pher
    ,goahead.But
    ,countmeout
    .”

    Dad:
    “Wear
    est
    il
    lyourpar
    ent
    s,y
    oungl
    ady
    ,showr
    espect
    .”

    Hesnapsatme.

    Me:
    “I’
    m goi
    ngbackt
    owor
    k.”

    Iannouncesof
    tl
    ybef
    orewal
    ki
    ngaway
    .

    Mom:
    “Thi
    sist
    hesecondt
    imeshe’
    swal
    ki
    ngoutonus.
    ”

    Iheart
    heangeri
    nmymother
    ’sv
    oiceasIwal
    kout
    .Noti
    nmywi
    l
    destdr
    eamsdi
    dIt
    hinkt
    hatI
    wouldl
    ivet
    oseethi
    sday
    .

    Tobecont
    inued…
    BEAUTYTAMESTHEBEAST*

    92*

    AMARA*

    I
    ’
    m wit
    hChi
    omainthekit
    chenaswehearal
    oudcommot
    ioncomi
    ngf
    rom t
    hef
    oyer
    ,itsounds
    l
    i
    keIf
    eandshe’
    scr
    ying.

    Me:
    “That
    ’sI
    fe.
    ”

    WescurryouttomeetRandallcast
    igati
    ngIf
    e,she’
    sleani
    ngagainstt
    hestai
    rrail
    ,herarms
    f
    oldedacrossherchestassheentert
    ainsafl
    oodoftears.St
    ylesi
    ssit
    ti
    ngont hestai
    rcasewhi
    l
    e
    watchi
    ngthewholethingunf
    old.

    Randal
    l
    :“Youli
    edtomeI f
    eanyi,
    Iaskedy ou,
    whowerethosefri
    endsy ou’
    real
    way
    swit
    handyou
    si
    mplysaidt
    hattheyar
    ey ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iends.But,y
    ou’
    regal
    l
    ivant
    ingaroundtownwit
    hanoldman.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “He’
    snotol
    d,he’
    s29.
    ”

    Sher
    espondswhi
    l
    ewi
    pingawayherst
    ubbor
    ntear
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“I
    feanyi
    ,you’
    reonl
    ysevent
    een.You’
    rebarel
    ydonewi
    thschool
    ,Iwoul
    dunder
    standi
    f
    youwereseei
    ngsomeoney ouragenotMkhonto.
    ”

    Hehowl
    s.

    I
    fegoesqui
    etonhi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Howl
    onghav
    eyout
    wobeenseei
    ngeachot
    her
    ?”

    Si
    l
    ence.

    Randal
    l
    :“Iaskedy
    ouaquest
    ion?Howl
    onghav
    eyoubeenseei
    ngt
    hatf
    ool
    ?”

    Hesnapsatherandshef
    li
    nches.

    I
    fe:
    “It
    ’sbeenawhi
    l
    e,t
    hreeweeksIt
    hink.
    ”

    Randal
    lhuf
    fs,
    heranswerseemst
    oaggr
    avat
    ehi
    m.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wher
    edi
    dyout
    womeet
    ?”

    Sherunsherey
    estome,
    Ithi
    nksheneedsanescape.Ican’
    treal
    l
    ygeti
    nvol
    vednotwhenher
    brot
    heri
    schidi
    ngher
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Wi
    l
    lyouspeak?You’
    reonl
    ymaki
    ngt
    hingswor
    sef
    ory
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    I
    fe:
    “Whenhecamet
    othehouse.
    ”

    Shemut
    ter
    ssheepi
    shl
    y.

    Randal
    l
    :“What
    ?”

    Hescowl
    satherashet
    akesast
    epcl
    oser
    ,Ihopehedoesn’
    tlayahandont
    hepoorchi
    l
    d.

    I
    fe:
    “Whenhecametothehousetheot
    herday
    ,hef
    oundmeher
    eint
    hef
    oyerandwespokef
    ora
    whi
    le.Youwer
    eout
    sidewi
    thRavenand…”

    Randal
    lscr
    uncheshi
    sjaw,
    ever
    ywor
    dseemst
    ofuel
    hisanger
    .

    Randal
    l:
    “Thatbast
    ard,
    hecomestomyhouseanddisr
    espectsmeli
    kethi
    s.Whati
    swr ongwi
    th
    youIf
    e?Didyoureal
    lyf
    indanyoft
    hisnor
    mal
    ?Didi
    tnotcrossyourmindt
    hathecoul
    dbeusing
    you?”

    I
    fe:
    “He’
    snotusi
    ngme.
    ”

    Hi
    swor dsupsetherasshepushesoutherr
    esponsei
    nfrust
    rat
    ion,
    IseeSt
    ylesshakehi
    shead
    i
    ndisagreement
    .Theymustknowt hi
    sMkhontoguypret
    tywell
    .

    Styl
    es:“
    That
    ’st
    hethi
    ngI
    fe,y
    oudon’tknowwhaty
    ou’
    reget
    ti
    ngyour
    selfi
    nto.Thatmanisknown
    tobeawomaniser
    ,al
    mostever
    ysecondwomanyoubumpinto,
    wil
    ltel
    lyouthei
    rstor
    yabout
    him.”

    Li
    kehi
    sfr
    iend,
    theyspeaki
    nacal
    m manner
    .Randal
    l
    ’sv
    oicet
    hough,
    iscoat
    edwi
    thr
    age.

    I
    fe:
    “That
    ’snotwhatIsawi
    nhi
    sey
    es,
    Imeansomet
    hingt
    ohi
    m.Ij
    ustknowi
    t.
    ”

    She’
    ssoadamantwi
    tht
    his,
    shemustl
    i
    kehi
    m al
    ot.

    Randal
    l
    :“So,
    you’
    rer
    eadyt
    opl
    ayst
    epmot
    hert
    oabunchofki
    ds.
    ”

    Thi
    scomesasashockt
    oherasherey
    eswi
    den.

    Randal
    l
    :“Hedi
    dn’
    ttel
    lyou,
    didhe?
    ”

    Shet
    akesupaf
    rownandsul
    ksatt
    hesamet
    ime.

    I
    fe:
    “He’
    sst
    il
    lgoi
    ngt
    otel
    lme.
    ”

    Shebel
    i
    eveshi
    mtobeagoodman,
    thewayshest
    andsupf
    orhi
    m pr
    ovesi
    t.

    Randal
    l
    :“St
    il
    l?
    ”

    Hi
    sbr
    owsshootupashebecomesof
    fi
    cious,
    nowaywi
    l
    lhel
    ett
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    pfl
    our
    ish.

    Randall
    :“Whatev
    ery
    out
    wower
    etr
    yingt
    obui
    l
    disov
    erI
    feany
    i,Idon’
    twanty
    ouany
    wher
    enear
    thatbast
    ard.
    ”

    I
    fea:
    “Youcan’
    tkeepmeawayf
    rom hi
    m br
    other
    ,Ir
    eal
    l
    yli
    kehi
    m,pl
    ease.Iknowhel
    i
    kesmet
    oo.
    ”

    Her
    aiseshi
    shand,
    dismi
    ssi
    ngher
    .
    Randal
    l
    :“Sparemeplease,
    Idon’
    twantt
    ohearany
    thi
    ngaboutt
    hatf
    ool
    .Doy
    ouhearmeI
    feany
    i?
    Youwil
    lneverseehi
    m agai
    n.”

    Thef
    loodi
    ngofhert
    ear
    sdoubl
    eupast
    heyspeakf
    ort
    hepai
    ninherhear
    t.

    Randal
    l
    :“Ev
    eni
    fitmeansIhav
    etokeepy
    oul
    ockedupi
    nthi
    shouse,
    Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    t.
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “Youcan’
    tdot
    hat
    ,Ican’
    tli
    vel
    i
    keapr
    isoner
    .”

    Sher
    aisesherv
    oice.

    Randal
    l
    :“Wat
    chme.
    ”

    Hest
    epsbackashef
    oldshi
    sar
    msacr
    osshi
    schest
    ,he’
    saboutt
    owr
    api
    tup.

    I
    fegl
    ancesatmebef
    oreswooshi
    ngt
    omysi
    de,
    shet
    akesmyhandsi
    ntoher
    s.

    I
    fe:
    “Amar
    apl
    ease,
    hel
    pme.Tal
    ktobr
    otherf
    orme,
    hel
    i
    stenst
    oyou.
    ”

    Shepl
    eads,Iwantt
    ohelpbut,
    thelookonRandal
    l’
    sfacesaysnott
    odi
    sput
    e.I
    sittoosoonf
    or
    metosaythatIhav
    ebecomehi sweaknessandhestr
    ugglest
    odenyme?I
    ferest
    sherheadon
    mychestasshecri
    esherheartout
    ,Iwrapmyarmsaroundher.

    Il
    ookatRandal
    lwi
    thsoftey
    es,hescowlsashel
    ooksaway
    .Ifmygazecan’
    tdot
    hej
    ob.What
    wi
    llmywordsdoastheywil
    lfal
    londeafear
    s?

    Chi
    oma:
    “Uze,
    won’
    tyougi
    vehi
    m achance.
    ”

    Het
    urnshi
    sheadt
    oher
    ,gi
    vi
    ngherast
    ernl
    ook.

    Randal
    l
    :“Doy
    ouknowany
    thi
    ngabouthi
    m Chi
    oma?
    ”

    Hegr
    unt
    s.Chi
    omashakesherhead,
    hispi
    erci
    nggazehasherdr
    oppi
    ngher
    s.

    Randal
    l
    :“Noonewi
    l
    lvoi
    ceoutaboutt
    his,
    Ihav
    emademydeci
    sion.
    ”

    Thi
    sfuel
    sIf
    e’ssobs,
    shepul
    l
    soutofmyembr
    acet
    oleeratherbr
    other
    .

    I
    fe:
    “Thi
    sisnotf
    airbr
    other
    ,you’
    reahy
    pocr
    it
    e.”

    Shey
    ell
    sathi
    m.

    Chi
    oma:
    “If
    eany
    i.
    ”

    Chi
    omay el
    l
    sather
    ,Chi
    omar
    egar
    dsRandal
    lashersonandanydi
    srespectt
    owar
    dshi
    m,she
    di
    smissesi
    t.

    I
    fe:
    “No,Chi
    oma.Amar
    aisalsoyoung,
    she’
    sei
    ght
    een.I
    fshecanbewi
    thsomeoney
    ourage.
    WhyIcan’
    tIbewi
    thMkhont
    o.”

    Iwi
    shshedidn’
    tusethi
    sasanescape,Randal
    l
    'sfur
    rowedbrowsi
    ntensi
    fyashechar
    gesatI
    fe.
    Shest
    epsbackinfearf
    all
    i
    ngbackint
    omyar ms,Randal
    lst
    ops.

    Randal
    l
    :“Don’
    tgetsmar
    twi
    thmeI
    feany
    i,Iwanty
    out
    ogetal
    lyourt
    hings,
    you’
    regoi
    ngbackt
    o
    Ghana.
    ”
    Hecl
    ampshi
    steet
    hashedecl
    ares.

    I
    fe:
    “What?No,
    I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    her
    e.I
    ’
    drat
    hergoandl
    i
    vewi
    thagy
    aify
    oudon’
    twantmeher
    e.”
    (
    Father
    .)

    There’
    sabi
    tofresi
    stanceinhisey
    es,hecan’
    tloseI
    fet
    oo.Thi
    swi
    l
    lhur
    thi
    m mor
    e,Rav
    enhas
    tur
    nedagai
    nsthi
    m andI f
    eistheonlysi
    bli
    nghe’
    slef
    twi
    th.

    Me:“I
    fecal
    m downpl
    ease,yourbrotherisonl
    ylooki
    ngoutf
    ory
    ou.He’
    sdoi
    ngt
    hisbecausehe
    car
    es,orel
    sehewoul
    dn’tbotheratall
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “NoAmar
    a,hedoesn’
    tcar
    eaboutmyf
    eel
    i
    ngs.Br
    otheri
    ssel
    fi
    sh.
    ”

    Shecri
    es,Chi
    omashakesherheadandst
    rol
    l
    sbackt
    otheki
    tchen.Shehasgi
    venup
    repr
    imandi
    ngIfe.

    Randal
    l:
    “Cal
    lmeany thingy
    ouwantIf
    e,Iwil
    lnotal
    l
    owy ouanywherenearyourfat
    herandyour
    brot
    her
    .Iwil
    lseetoitthaty
    ougetint
    heplane,mydeci
    sioni
    sfinal
    anddon’tthi
    nkofrunni
    ng
    away.Aguar
    dwi l
    lbeappointedt
    oyouinthemeanti
    me,thi
    sisforyoursaf
    ety.
    ”

    I
    tisr
    atherabi
    ttoomucht
    hough.

    I
    fe:
    “Youcan’
    tdot
    hat
    .”

    Hehuf
    fsbef
    oredashi
    ngupt
    hest
    air
    s,myey
    esf
    oll
    owSt
    ylesasheambl
    est
    ous.

    St
    yles:
    “Oneday
    ,youwi
    l
    lunder
    standwhyhe’
    sdoi
    ngal
    lthi
    s.”

    Hepat
    shershoulderashepul
    l
    soutari
    ngi
    ngphonef
    rom hi
    spocket
    .Hel
    ooksatt
    hecal
    l
    erI
    d
    andapuckerf
    ormsbetweenhi
    seyebr
    ows.

    St
    yles:
    “Excuseme,
    pleaset
    ell
    RandyIwi
    l
    lcal
    lhi
    m.”

    Hedecl
    aresandsaunt
    ersoutoft
    hehouse,I
    fei
    sst
    il
    lhol
    dingont
    ome,
    hersobsar
    ehear
    t
    br
    eaki
    ng.MaybeIshoul
    dspeaktoRandal
    l.

    Me:
    “St
    opcr
    yingI
    fe,
    you’
    rebr
    eaki
    ngmyhear
    t.
    ”

    Ist
    rokeherbackt
    ocal
    m herdown.

    I
    fe:
    “Ihat
    ehi
    m.”

    Me:
    “Youdon’
    tmeant
    hat
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “Ido.
    ”

    Sher
    etor
    ts.

    Me:
    “If
    e,l
    ookatme.
    ”

    Shemov
    esoutofmyar
    ms,
    Ibur
    yhercheeksi
    nthepal
    m ofhands.

    Me:
    “Yourbr
    otherl
    ovesy
    ou,
    youknowt
    hat
    ,ri
    ght
    ?”

    Sheshakesherheadasshedi
    sagr
    eeswi
    thme.
    I
    fe:
    “Whyi
    shedoi
    ngt
    hist
    hen?
    ”

    Me:“
    Toprot
    ectyou,
    Mkhont
    oishi
    sfr
    iendandhecl
    ear
    lyknowshi
    m bet
    ter
    .Ifhewasagood
    man,doy
    outhi
    nkRandal
    lwoul
    daskyoutost
    ayawayfr
    om him?”

    Shecov
    ershermout
    hwi
    thherhandasshemul
    l
    suponmywor
    ds.

    I
    fe:
    “Then,
    whatshoul
    dIdowi
    tht
    hesef
    eel
    i
    ngsAmar
    a?He’
    smanagedt
    ocr
    eepi
    ntomyhear
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “Insol
    i
    ttl
    eti
    me?
    ”

    I
    fe:
    “I’
    m aPi
    sces,
    wef
    all
    easi
    l
    y,f
    astandhar
    d.I
    tsucks,
    Iknow.
    ”

    Herr
    esponsehasmel
    aughi
    ng.

    I
    fe:
    “Ican’
    tpr
    etendt
    hathenev
    erexi
    sted,
    myhear
    twi
    l
    lremi
    ndmeofhi
    m wi
    theachbeat
    .”

    Me:
    “You’
    reaPi
    scesal
    ri
    ght
    ,youf
    all
    foraguyandsuddenl
    ythepoet
    icsi
    deofy
    ouunr
    avel
    s.”

    Shel
    aughswhi
    l
    ewi
    pinghert
    ear
    s.

    Me:
    “Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngwi
    l
    lbeokay
    ,you’
    l
    lsee.May
    beRandal
    lneedst
    imet
    oadj
    ustt
    othi
    s.”

    I
    fe:
    “Hebet
    ternott
    akehi
    sti
    me,
    Ican’
    tst
    ayawayf
    rom Mkhont
    o.”

    Me:“Youneedtobepat
    ientwit
    hhim aswel
    l
    ,heyandi
    fyouwanttogobackt
    ohi
    sgoodbooks,
    youneedtoapol
    ogi
    zeforlyi
    ngtohi
    m.Youknowhehatesli
    esr
    ight?
    ”

    Shenods.

    I
    fe:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    o,Iknewt
    hatbr
    otherwoul
    dbeagai
    nstt
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.”

    Me:
    “Becausey
    ou’
    reat
    eenager
    .”

    I
    fe:
    “You’
    real
    soat
    eenager
    ,dat
    inga34y
    earol
    d.”

    Shedi
    sput
    es.

    Me:“
    I’
    m ninet
    eeni
    ntwomont
    hs,
    besi
    des,
    thel
    awst
    atest
    hatI
    ’
    m anadul
    t.I
    fe,
    hasMkhont
    o
    t
    ouchedyou?”

    Herey
    esbuckforami
    nut
    easshet
    readst
    osi
    tont
    hest
    air
    way
    ,Igl
    i
    deaf
    terherandposi
    ti
    on
    mysel
    fnextt
    oher.

    Me:
    “If
    e,don’
    ttel
    lmet
    haty
    ou’
    vesl
    eptwi
    thhi
    m.”

    Sheshakesherhead.

    I
    fe:
    “Iwant
    edt
    obut
    ,hesai
    dweshoul
    dwai
    tti
    l
    lI’
    m 18orwhat
    ever
    .”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Okay
    ,may
    behe’
    snotabadguyaf
    teral
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Iagr
    eewi
    thhi
    m,gi
    vei
    tti
    me.Randal
    lwi
    l
    lcomear
    oundy
    ou’
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    Hert
    ear
    sar
    eback.

    I
    fe:
    “Hewant
    stosendmebackt
    oGhana.
    ”

    Shesni
    ff
    s.

    Me:
    “Don’
    twor
    ryaboutt
    hat
    ,I’
    l
    lspeakt
    ohi
    m.”

    Ipul
    lherbacki
    nmyar
    ms.

    NTOMBI
    *

    TebogoandMarthawer et
    akent othehospi
    talt
    hatday,t
    heyar
    ebothst
    il
    lali
    ve.Idon’
    tcare
    aboutMart
    ha,Iwishshediedthatnight
    .TebogoistheoneI
    ’m wor
    ri
    edabout.HowwillIexpl
    ain
    myselft
    oher?Shewillnev
    erforgiv
    eme.

    Jonasissti
    l
    lupsetwit
    hme, al
    thoughhedi
    sownedme, hest
    il
    lcar
    esaboutme.Mhambi
    shows
    noint
    eresti
    nmyl i
    fe,
    he’sal
    laboutAmaracomingback,t
    hesamegoesforPetuni
    a.

    Ihaven’
    tcontactedthi
    sZodwaper sonLelospeaksof
    ,somethi
    ngkeepsdelayi
    ngme.Eachti
    me
    Igrabmyphonet ocal
    lher
    ,Iseem toforgetwhoIwantedt
    ocallorI
    ’
    mr emindedofsomethi
    ngI
    hadtodointhehouse.Mypl anistoaskhert ohel
    pMoses,I’
    m si
    ckandti
    redofseeinghi
    mlike
    thi
    s,hedoesn’tdeserv
    ewhat’shappeningtohim.

    Eat
    ingt
    imei nt
    hishousehasbeenqui
    etl
    atel
    y,t
    ooawkwardifyouaskme.Ifi
    twer
    en’
    tfor
    Mosesblabber
    ingorsi
    ngingdur
    ingt
    hist
    ime,wewoul
    dli
    teral
    lyheart
    hesoundoff
    oodgri
    ndi
    ng
    i
    nourmout hs.

    We’r
    ehavi
    nglunchandguesswhocooked,thehouseexecut
    ive,
    Pet
    uni
    a.IdoubtIr
    emember
    howtoswit
    chonmyst ove.I
    fshecl
    eansthehousethewayshecooks,
    Iwouldreal
    lyappr
    eci
    ate
    i
    tbutPet
    uniahastobeinthepot
    s.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ,bukal
    eny
    ama.
    ”(Lookatt
    hismeat
    .)

    Heholdsupapi
    eceofmeatt
    omyf
    ace,
    almostsmacki
    ngmewi
    thi
    t.It
    il
    tmyheadbacki
    n
    annoy
    ance.

    Me:
    “Ei
    shMoses.
    ”

    Al
    ley
    esar
    eonhi
    m now.

    Moses:
    “Whatisthi
    sNtombi
    ?Inyamaencanekanj
    e?HayiPet
    u,Pet
    u,t
    hisi
    swhyIhav
    elostso
    muchweight
    .”(
    It
    ’ssuchasmal
    lpieceofmeat
    .NoPetuni
    a.)

    Het
    hrowst
    hemeati
    ntoherpl
    ate.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Moses!
    !!
    ”

    Sheshout
    sathi
    m.Whot
    hehel
    ldoesshet
    hinkshei
    s?Hasshehear
    dmeshoutatherhusband?
    Me:
    “Hay
    iPet
    uni
    a,don’
    tshoutathi
    m.Youknowt
    hathe’
    snotwel
    l
    .”

    Moses:
    “Angekengidl
    elent
    omi naPetu,
    bukai
    nyamay akaMhambi
    .Twobigpi
    eces,whi
    leIget
    t
    hissmall
    thi
    ng.I
    dlewena.”(Iwon’
    teati
    t,y
    oudo.LookhowMhambi hasabi
    gpieceofmeat.
    )

    Mhambi
    scowl
    sathi
    m,cl
    i
    ckshi
    stongueandt
    hrowsaspoonf
    ulofr
    icei
    ntohi
    smout
    h.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ukhal
    elaukudl
    aMoses?
    ”(You’
    recompl
    aini
    ngaboutf
    ood?
    )

    Whyi
    ssheaski
    nghi
    mthi
    s?Sheknowshe’
    snotwel
    l
    .

    Me:“
    Whydi
    dy ougiv
    ehim asmall
    piecePet
    unia?Youknowhel
    oveshi
    smeatandMosesi
    sthe
    manoft
    hehouse,ever
    ybi
    gpieceofmeatbelongst
    ohim.”

    Shehoot
    s,scor
    nful
    l
    y.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Themanofwhat
    ?”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Me:“Whati
    sthatsupposedt
    omean?Thi
    sismyhusband’
    shomeso,
    hei
    sthemanoft
    he
    house.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Umaushokewena.
    ”(I
    fyousayso.
    )

    Me:
    “Whati
    syourpr
    obl
    em Pet
    uni
    a?”

    Shel
    aughsasshecont
    inuest
    oeat
    .

    Moses:“
    HawuNt ombi,kant
    inaweuyabonaukut
    hiuPetuunenki
    nganami?Kudal
    angimbona
    ukut
    hiuyangi
    funal
    o.”(
    Cany oual
    soseethatPet
    uniahasaproblem wi
    thme?I'
    venot
    icedt
    hat
    shewantsme.)

    Hepoi
    ntsather
    ,thi
    siswhenhet
    endst
    obeannoy
    ing.Whenhespewsnonsenseoutofhi
    s
    mout
    h.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ini
    ?”(
    What
    ?)

    Shey
    ell
    s.

    Mhambi
    :“Ut
    hini
    wena?
    ”(Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    )

    Hegr
    owl
    satMoses.

    Moses:“
    PholaMhambi,
    phol
    abo.Yourwi
    fehat
    esmebecauseIam mar
    ri
    edt
    oNt
    ombi
    andnot
    her
    .”(
    RelaxMhambi
    .)

    Jonas:
    “Ukut
    hat
    haphi
    lokhu?
    ”(Wher
    edi
    dyougett
    hat
    ?”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Thi
    siswhati
    thascomet
    oNt
    ombi
    ?You’
    redi
    srespect
    ingusl
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Ir
    oll
    myey
    esather
    .

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    letmeeati
    npeace.Idon’
    twantt
    ochokeonmyf
    ood.
    ”
    Mhambi:
    “You’
    recondoni
    ngthi
    snonsenseNtombi?Pet
    uni
    ai smywi
    feandanydi
    srespect
    t
    owardsheri
    sdisr
    espectt
    owardsme,Iwil
    lnotst
    andfort
    his.”

    Moses:“Cha,chaMhambi .Asi
    l
    wi s’
    bal
    i
    ,idl
    ainyamayakho.I
    pheminakeeumaungayi
    funi
    .
    Unkosi
    kaziwakhoust i
    ngyman.”(We’r
    enotfight
    ingMhambi,eaty
    ourmeat
    .Gi
    veitt
    omei fy
    ou
    don’
    twantit,
    y ourwi
    feissti
    ngy.
    )

    May
    beMosesshoul
    dshuthi
    smout
    h.

    Me:
    “Bhut
    iJonasi
    stobl
    amef
    ort
    his,
    he’
    stheonewhodr
    ovemyhusbandcr
    azy
    .”(
    Brot
    her
    .)

    Jonasr
    aiseshi
    sey
    es,
    hegi
    vesmeabl
    ackst
    are.

    Moses:
    “HuhNtombi,usadelelanamanj e?Ubani
    uhl
    any
    a?Jonas,t
    alktoyoursi
    ster
    .
    Ngi
    zomshaya.
    ”(You’
    resti
    lldisrespect
    fulNtombi
    .Whoiscr
    azy?Iwil
    lhi
    ther.
    )

    Hepokesmyheadwi
    thaspoon,
    Ishr
    ughi
    shandaway
    .

    Me:
    “YouseeJonas,
    youbet
    terf
    ixmyhusband.Iam t
    ir
    edoft
    his.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    escol
    dly
    ,Ican’
    tli
    vel
    i
    ket
    hisany
    mor
    e.

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Shame.
    ”

    Sheal
    way
    shasacomment
    .

    We’r
    edist
    urbedbyaloudknockonthedoor
    ,IguessIhav
    etogeti
    t.Pet
    uni
    aisnotl
    eav
    ingt
    hat
    pl
    ateal
    oneasifshe’
    sagreatcook.

    Me:
    “Yoh,
    yoh,
    yoh.
    ”

    Ishoutatthesi
    ghtofMashot
    oonmydoorst
    ep,
    thi
    swomanhasnoshame.She’
    swi
    tht
    wo
    middleagedmen.

    Me:
    “Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Wit
    harepul
    sedl
    ookonherf
    ace,
    shescansmywhol
    ebodyf
    rom headt
    otoebef
    orer
    oll
    i
    ngher
    ey
    es.

    Mashot
    o:“
    I’
    m her
    eformyhusband.
    ”

    Shepushesmeasi
    deasshesl
    i
    ther
    sint
    omyhouse.

    Me:
    “Yeywena.
    ”(Heyy
    ou.
    )

    Igr
    abherbr
    aids,
    pul
    l
    ingherback.Shescr
    eamsasshecl
    utchesmyhand.

    Me:
    “Ungi
    j
    way
    elakabi
    wenasf
    ebe.
    ”(You’
    reget
    ti
    ngf
    orwar
    dwi
    thme,
    youbi
    tch.
    )

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    stop.
    ”

    Jonasshout
    sashej
    olt
    supf
    rom hi
    sseat
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    hishomewr
    eckeri
    nmyhouse.
    ”
    Iy
    ell
    whi
    l
    epul
    l
    ingherbyherhai
    r,she’
    sscr
    eami
    ngandgr
    owl
    i
    ng.

    Moses:
    “Shot
    os,
    sthandwasami
    .”(
    Mashot
    o,myl
    ove.
    )

    Her
    ushest
    ous.

    Mashototur
    nsandwit
    houtwast
    inganyt
    imeshegr
    ipsmyhai
    r,wewr
    est
    lewhi
    l
    escr
    eami
    ngand
    shout
    ingateachot
    her
    .

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ayi
    khol
    ent
    o.”(
    Ther
    eisnosucht
    hing.
    )

    Me:“Uzonyawenasfebe,Iwi
    l
    lshowy
    out
    oday
    .Awungazi
    ,nj
    a.”(
    Youwi
    l
    lregr
    ett
    hisy
    oubi
    tch,
    youdon’tknowme,dog.)

    Iscream atherwhil
    etight
    eningt
    hegriponherbraids,
    Iflai
    lmylegtogettoherst
    omach.The
    planhereistokickherashardasIcould,Iwantt
    ogetr i
    dofthatbabyshecl
    aimsli
    esi
    nher
    womb.Myl egcanonlyreachherupperthi
    ghsasshedodgesev erybl
    ow.

    Mashot
    o:“
    Moses,
    bambal
    enj
    amaan.Shewi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyourbaby
    .”(
    Gett
    hisdogMoses.
    )

    Shescr
    eamsasshepul
    l
    smyhairti
    ght
    er,
    oneofheruncl
    esgr
    absherar
    m andhepul
    l
    sheraway
    fr
    om mygri
    p.If
    eel
    someonepul
    lmeback,It
    urnt
    ofi
    ndJonas.Hel
    ooksangr
    yashel
    l.

    Me:
    “Ngi
    yekeJonas,
    letmet
    eacht
    hiswhor
    eal
    esson.
    ”(Letmego.
    )

    Ichar
    geatherbutJonaspul
    l
    smeback,
    shecl
    i
    ckshert
    onguewhi
    l
    efi
    xi
    ngherhai
    r.

    Jonas:
    “Uy
    ahl
    any
    a?Thi
    sisnothowwet
    reatv
    isi
    tor
    s.”(
    Arey
    oui
    nsane?
    )

    Hegr
    unt
    s.

    Me:
    “Whatv
    isi
    tor
    ?Shel
    i
    ter
    all
    ypushedher
    sel
    fint
    omyhouse.
    ”

    Mashot
    o:“
    Thi
    sisal
    somyhouse,
    Mosesi
    smyhusband.
    ”

    Shehast
    heaudaci
    tyt
    oyel
    latmei
    nmyhouse,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lher
    .

    Me:
    “Mosesonl
    yhasonewi
    feandt
    hat
    ’sme.
    ”

    Ican’
    tstandthatJonasi
    shol
    dingmeback,
    Mhambi
    isqui
    etl
    ysi
    tt
    ingont
    hechai
    randeat
    ingl
    i
    ke
    ther
    e’snothi
    nggoingonher
    e.

    Mashot
    o:“
    Mosesbaby
    ,tel
    lthi
    sol
    dwomant
    haty
    ou’
    remyhusband.
    ”

    Shet
    urnst
    ohi
    m,t
    hisi
    diothasbeenl
    aughi
    ngsi
    ncewest
    art
    edf
    ight
    ing.

    Moses:“YeahNtombi
    ,Moshot
    oismywi
    fe.Yout
    woshoul
    dn’
    tfi
    ght
    ,it
    ’snotr
    ightt
    ofi
    ghtov
    er
    yourhusband.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.It
    hinkt
    hesepeopl
    ehav
    en’
    tgr
    aspedt
    hatt
    hismanhasl
    ostt
    ouchwi
    thr
    eal
    i
    ty.

    Theunclesl
    ookdispl
    easedbyt
    hisscene,
    clear
    lyt
    hisi
    snotwhatt
    heyexpect
    edt
    oseewhen
    theycamehere.

    Me:
    “IswearMoses,
    Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lher
    .Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lthi
    swoman.
    ”
    Isqueal
    whi
    l
    efi
    ght
    ingt
    ogetoutofJonas’
    gri
    p.

    Jonas:
    “Nt
    ombi
    maan.Whathasgot
    teni
    ntoy
    ou?
    ”

    Her
    oughl
    ypushesmeback.

    Me:
    “Bhut
    ’Jonas,
    youshoul
    dbet
    hrowi
    ngt
    hishomewr
    eckerout
    .”

    Jonas:
    “Iam nott
    hrowi
    ngany
    oneout
    ,thi
    shasnot
    hingt
    odowi
    thme.
    ”

    Me:
    “Bhut
    i?”

    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Ithi
    nktheel
    dersshoul
    dtakeasi
    t,pl
    easef
    orgi
    veus.Thi
    sisnothowv
    isi
    tor
    sar
    e
    wel
    comedinthi
    shouse.
    ”

    Pet
    uni
    ajumpsi
    nwi
    thhert
    wocent
    s,Ishoul
    dki
    l
    lheraswel
    l
    .

    Me:
    “Noonei
    ssi
    tt
    ingdown.
    ”

    Mashot oturnstowardst
    hecouch,Iref
    uset olethersitonmycouch.Imanaget oloosefr
    om
    Jonas’holdandj umponMashotof r
    om behind.Shescr eamsasshef al
    l
    s,I'
    m st
    raddli
    ngher
    whilepull
    ingherhair
    .Shelosesafewbraids,IhearMosesl aughoutl
    oudandasuddenl oud
    commot ionintheroom.Herunclesarecompl ai
    ning,Petuni
    aisscr
    eamingatmet ell
    ingmeto
    stop.Jonasi sbehi
    ndme,hisgri
    ponmywai stashepul lsmebackfrom her.

    Mashot
    oishel
    pedupbyoneofheruncl
    es.

    “
    Ist
    hiswhaty
    oubr
    oughtusher
    efor
    ,Mashot
    o?Suchembar
    rassmentanddi
    srespect
    .”

    Theuncl
    echast
    isesher
    ,she’
    scr
    ying.

    Me:
    “Ngi
    yekebhut
    i.
    ”(Letmegobr
    other
    .)

    Ishr
    ugmy
    sel
    ffr
    om hi
    m.

    Pet
    uni
    a:"
    Ntombi
    thi
    siswr
    ong.
    ”

    Me:
    “Shutup,
    Pet
    uni
    a.”

    Iyel
    l,sher
    oll
    shereyesatme.Twopolicemenwal
    kint
    hehouse,
    IKnowt
    hedoori
    swi
    deopen
    but,
    peopleshoul
    dlear
    nhowt oknock.

    “
    Sani
    bonani
    .”(
    Greet
    ings.
    )

    Oneoft
    hem say
    s,t
    hehousei
    ssuddenl
    yqui
    et.

    “
    Wear
    elooki
    ngf
    orNt
    ombi
    .”

    Me:
    “I’
    m Nt
    ombi
    .”

    Ir
    espond,
    Ican’
    tseem t
    ogr
    aspwhyt
    heyar
    elooki
    ngf
    orme.

    “
    TebogoMal
    ahasl
    aidachar
    geofassaul
    tagai
    nsty
    ou.
    ”

    What
    ?
    Pet
    uni
    a:“
    Whenwi
    l
    lthi
    sev
    erend?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “It
    oldy
    ouNt
    ombi
    thaty
    ouract
    ionswi
    l
    lbeart
    err
    ibl
    eresul
    ts.
    ”

    “
    You’
    reunderar
    rest
    ,youhav
    ether
    ightt
    oremai
    nsi
    l
    ent
    .Any
    thi
    ngy
    ousaycanbeusedagai
    nst
    y
    ouincourt
    .”

    Hehandcuf
    fsme.

    Me:
    “No,
    please.I
    ’
    minnocent
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Mhambiisnowonhisfeet
    ,Jonashashi
    sfaceburi
    edi
    nthepalm ofhi
    shands.Pet
    uni
    ais
    car
    ryi
    ngherhandsonherheadwhil
    eshaki
    ngitandMoseshol
    dsaconf usedl
    ookonhi
    sface.

    Me:
    “Bhut
    i,pl
    ease.Tel
    lthem t
    heyar
    emi
    staken,
    I’
    minnocent
    .”

    Icr
    yasIpl
    eadi
    ndesper
    ati
    on.

    Moses:
    “Wher
    ear
    etheyt
    aki
    ngNt
    ombi
    ?”

    Hi
    sconf
    usi
    ongr
    owsast
    hepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cerbegi
    nst
    olugmeout
    side.

    Me:
    “Moses,
    hel
    pmepl
    ease.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam cr
    y.

    Her
    unsaf
    terusandt
    akesmyhand.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    ungahambi
    ,ungahambi
    Ntombi
    .”(
    Ntombi
    don’
    tgo.
    )

    He’
    scr
    ying,
    Moseshasbecomev
    erysensi
    ti
    vel
    atel
    y.

    Mashot
    o:“
    Mosescomeback.
    ”

    Shestandsonmydoorst
    epleer
    ingout
    sideathi
    m,Moseswon’
    tletgoofmyhand.Thewhol
    e
    fami
    lyisnowout
    side,
    watchi
    ngmebeingtakenaway
    .Thi
    shastobeanight
    mare.

    Me:“Mhambi
    ,ngi
    size,
    ngi
    yacel
    a.Ican’
    tgot
    ojai
    l
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    ogot
    ojai
    l
    .”(
    Mhambi
    hel
    pme
    pl
    ease.
    )

    Iy
    ell
    int
    ear
    s.

    Theyal
    llookpowerl
    essandthi
    siswhenIloseallhope,
    theonlyper sonf
    ighti
    ngformeisMoses
    andheisnotsaneenoughtounder
    standwhatishappening.Rightnow,helooksli
    keachi
    ld
    beggi
    nghismothertostay
    .Thepol
    iceoff
    icerpusheshi
    m of f
    ,helandsont hegr
    ound,but
    tfi
    rst
    .

    Me:
    “MOSES!
    !!
    ”

    Iscr
    eam cr
    y,he’
    scr
    yingwi
    thhi
    shandst
    ret
    chedoutt
    ome.

    Moses:
    “Nt
    ombi
    comeback,
    buy
    aNt
    ombi
    .”(
    Comeback.
    )

    Hecr
    iesoutl
    oud.
    Icat
    chagl i
    mpseofMarthafrom t
    hecornerofmyeye,Ihav
    etot akeasecondl
    ook,onlytofi
    nd
    hersmir
    kingatme.Herstar
    essendcoldshiver
    sdownmyspi ne.Shemusthaveconvinced
    Tebogotodothi
    s.Shehasabandagear oundherheadandherfaceisbrui
    sed.

    Me:
    “Martha,I
    ’
    m sorr
    y.Speakt
    othem pl
    ease,
    bat
    shel
    eukut
    hiangi
    yenzangal
    utho.
    ”(Tel
    lthem
    t
    hat
    ,Idi
    dn’tdoanyt
    hing.
    )

    Sheroll
    shereyesandl
    impsbacktoherhouse,
    thewholeneighbour
    hoodhascomeoutto
    watch.Thesearet
    hesamepeoplewhowereonmysi dethatdayandtodayt
    heyst
    areatmel
    i
    ke
    I
    ’m amonst er
    .

    Mywhol
    ewor
    ldcomescr
    ushi
    ngdownwhenI
    ’
    mthr
    owni
    ntoapol
    i
    cev
    an.

    STYLES*

    IhadtorushtoSethuwhenshecall
    edme,
    soundi
    ngupset
    .Thedoorswi
    ngsopenaf
    tert
    wo
    knocks,
    there’
    ssadnessi
    nhereyes.

    Ipul
    lheri
    ntomyarmsthemomentsheopenst hebur
    glarbar.Wi
    deey
    ed,
    shegazesupatme.I
    canheart
    hesoundofherhear
    tthuddi
    ngagai
    nstherchest.

    Me:
    “Hi
    .”

    Ismi
    l
    e,shegul
    psi
    nret
    urn.

    Set
    hu:
    “Hi
    .
    ”

    Hervoi
    ceseemstofai
    lherashersal
    utat
    ioncomesouti
    nasof
    twhi
    sper
    ,Igr
    adual
    l
    yleanov
    ert
    o
    herf
    ace.Iwantt
    otast
    eherli
    ps.

    Shegulpsashereyescl
    ose,hermout
    hisinv
    iti
    ngmei
    n.Ourl
    i
    psl
    i
    ght
    lybr
    ush,
    asIpr
    essmy
    for
    eheadonhers,herbr
    eat
    hingqui
    ckensatt
    his.

    Me:
    “Howar
    eyouki
    tt
    en?
    ”

    Iwhi
    spersof
    tl
    yagai
    nstherl
    i
    ps,
    herar
    msenf
    oldar
    oundmyuppert
    orsoandIpul
    lheri
    ntoan
    i
    nti
    matehug.

    Ipushthedoorcl
    osed,wit
    hherst
    il
    li
    nmyarms.West
    ayi
    nthi
    smomentf
    orwhatseemsl
    i
    kea
    minutebef
    oresherel
    easesadeepsigh.

    Shemov
    esoutofmyar
    msandgl
    ancesupatme.

    Set
    hu:
    “Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Shepr
    ocl
    aimssof
    tl
    y.

    Me:
    “Whathappened?
    ”

    Shel
    eadsmet
    othel
    i
    vingr
    oom,
    Iset
    tl
    ebesi
    deher
    .
    Set
    hu:
    “Idon’
    tunder
    standmypar
    ent
    sany
    mor
    e,t
    heywantmet
    ogetLeboal
    awy
    erandpayf
    ori
    t
    aswel
    l.
    ”

    Me:
    “That
    ’sabsur
    d.”

    Sethu:“Iknowright,
    Idon’tknowwhattodoanymor
    e.Mymotheri
    sdeter
    minedtogetLeboout
    ,
    shelit
    erall
    ysaidthatIshouldusemyinvest
    ment
    s.Whatki
    ndofamotherdoest
    hat?I
    ’m her
    daughter,nother.
    ”

    Ihav
    en’
    tseenhert
    hisupset
    .

    Me:“Yourmothermustbever
    yworri
    edaboutLebo,
    it’
    sunder
    standabl
    e.Shei
    shersi
    ster
    ’schi
    l
    d.
    But
    ,askingy
    out ouseyourmoneyi
    sinsane.
    ”

    Somet
    hingi
    supwi
    tht
    hatwoman.

    Me:“
    Youcan’
    thel
    pthatgi
    rlSet
    hu,
    shewi
    l
    lhav
    etof
    indawayout
    .Thecour
    twi
    l
    lpr
    ovi
    deherwi
    th
    al
    awyer
    .”

    Set
    hu:“Iwon’
    tli
    ftafi
    nger,
    IknowLebowi
    l
    lthr
    owi
    tbacki
    nmyf
    ace.Onceshe’
    sout
    ,shewi
    l
    ltel
    l
    methatshedidn’
    taskfori
    t.”

    Soundsl
    i
    keher
    .

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tli
    kei
    twheny
    ou’
    reupset
    ,pl
    easet
    rynott
    othi
    nkaboutanyoft
    his.
    ”

    Shesi
    ghsasIt
    akeherhandi
    ntomi
    ne.

    Set
    hu:
    “HowdoIdot
    hat
    ,wheni
    t’
    sal
    lIt
    hinkabout
    ?”

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sdot
    his,
    howaboutImakey
    ouacupofcof
    fee?I
    twi
    l
    lhel
    pyour
    elax.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Idon’
    tdr
    inkcof
    fee.
    ”

    Me:
    “Iknow,
    ther
    e’saf
    ir
    stt
    imef
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    Shesmi
    l
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    l
    ldoi
    tandgety
    ouacupaswel
    l
    .”

    Ipul
    lherbackdownasshet
    ri
    est
    ogetup.

    Me:
    “Iof
    fer
    ed,
    yousi
    tbackandr
    elax.Letmet
    akecar
    eofy
    ou.
    ”

    Set
    hu:
    “Okay
    ,Icangetusedt
    othi
    s.”

    Sheannouncesassheput
    sherf
    eetont
    hecouch,
    Ismi
    l
    eather
    .

    Me:
    “Youshoul
    dgetusedt
    oit
    ,I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    ost
    op.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es,
    Iambl
    etot
    heki
    tchen.Ihav
    ebecomef
    ami
    l
    iarwi
    thev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    nit
    .

    Al
    lofasuddent
    hedooropens,
    Ipeekt
    hroughatt
    hesoundoff
    oot
    steps.Ther
    e’sawomani
    n
    t
    hecor
    ri
    dor
    ,shesmi
    l
    esatme.

    “
    Hi.
    ”

    Shest
    ret
    chesoutherhandt
    owar
    dsme.

    Me:
    “Hi
    ?”

    Mysal
    utat
    ionescapesi
    naf
    orm ofaquest
    ion.

    “
    Thi
    sisnew,
    it’
    snotev
    erydayt
    haty
    ouf
    indamani
    nmysi
    ster
    ’shouse.
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowwhatshemeansbythis,
    sheseemsli
    keachirpyone.Herhi
    gh-
    pit
    chedv
    oicei
    s
    l
    ouderthani
    tshoul
    dbe.She’
    sdef
    init
    elySet
    hu’
    sopposi
    te.

    “
    Set
    hu,
    ther
    e’sasnacki
    nyourki
    tchenandi
    t’
    smaki
    ngt
    ea.
    ”

    Shey
    ell
    s,Ial
    mostcl
    ogmyear
    s.

    Set
    hui
    sint
    hecor
    ri
    dori
    naf
    lesh,
    herj
    awdr
    opsasherey
    esf
    all
    onhersi
    ster
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “Ay
    ize?Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Ay
    ize:
    “It
    ’sni
    cet
    oseey
    out
    oosi
    ster
    .”

    Shepul
    l
    sSet
    hui
    nforaqui
    ckhug.

    Set
    hu:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    it’
    sjustt
    hat
    ,Iwasn’
    texpect
    ingy
    ou.
    ”

    Ay
    ize:
    “Yourpar
    ent
    ssummonedme,
    appar
    ent
    lyi
    thassomet
    hingdot
    owi
    tht
    hatl
    eech,
    Lebo.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es,
    it’
    sconf
    ir
    medt
    hatLeboi
    snotl
    ovedher
    e.

    Set
    hu:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkt
    heywoul
    dcal
    lyou.
    ”

    Ay
    ize:
    “Her
    eIam.
    ”

    Fr
    ust
    rat
    iont
    akesov
    ert
    one.

    Ay
    ize:
    “Enoughaboutt
    hem,
    Idon’
    twantmyappet
    it
    espoi
    l
    ed.
    ”

    Shegl
    ancesatmewi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    Ay
    ize:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoui
    ntr
    oducemeorshoul
    dIdot
    hehonour
    s?”

    Set
    huSmi
    l
    es.

    Set
    hu:
    “Mr
    .St
    yles,
    thi
    sismysi
    sterAy
    ize.
    ”

    I
    twi
    l
    ltaket
    imef
    orhert
    oaddr
    essmei
    nfor
    mal
    l
    y.

    Ay
    ize:
    “Mr
    .St
    yleshuh?
    ”

    I
    ’
    m notsur
    ewhatt
    omakeofherexpr
    essi
    on.

    Set
    hu:
    “Si
    s,t
    hisi
    sMr
    .St
    yles.
    ”
    Thehandagai
    n,It
    akei
    tthi
    sti
    me.Shehol
    dsont
    oitasIt
    ryt
    opul
    laway
    .

    Ay
    ize:
    “And,
    whoi
    sMr
    .St
    yles?
    ”

    She’
    ssmili
    ngatmeandherey
    esar
    eal
    lov
    ermybody
    .Set
    hupul
    l
    sherhandawayasshecl
    ear
    s
    hert
    hroat
    .

    Set
    hu:
    “He’
    smy
    …”

    Wor
    dsfai
    lher
    ,sheknowsIr
    efuset
    obecal
    l
    edaf
    ri
    end.Shegl
    ancesupatmeandIf
    eel
    aneed
    t
    oanswerf
    orher.

    Me:
    “I’
    m herSt
    yles.
    ”

    Set
    hudr
    opshergazebl
    ushi
    ngl
    y.

    Ay
    ize:
    “Mmmmhhh,
    Miss.Shasf
    oundher
    sel
    faMr
    .St
    yles.Il
    i
    ke,
    Ili
    ke.
    ”

    Sheexcl
    aimsl
    oudl
    y,shenudgesSet
    huwho’
    sshy
    lysmi
    l
    ingbesi
    deme.

    Tobecont
    inued…
    94

    RANDALL*

    Ihavealway
    swant
    edAmara’
    shear
    tformy
    sel
    f,IknewIconqueredherhear
    twhenshe
    screamedmynameandhel
    dontomeasIdominatedoverher
    .

    Ial
    way
    sknewt
    hatmyhear
    tbel
    ongst
    oherbutt
    odayIam compl
    etel
    yconv
    inced.

    Inevert
    houghtthatIwoul
    dact
    ual
    l
    yut
    tert
    hesewor
    ds,
    Iwasshockedaswel
    lwhenmyhear
    t
    pushedthem out.

    Now, shel
    iesnakedi
    nmyar msandi t
    ’st
    hegreatestf
    eel
    i
    nginthewor
    ld.Iam t
    emptedbeyond
    anythi
    ngtowakeherandhav eheragai
    n,Iwanttomakelov
    etoheral
    lnight
    .Now,t
    hatIhave
    tast
    edher,I’
    m af
    rai
    dithasbecomemyobsessi on.

    Itakeherhandt hat’
    srestingonmychestandshoweri twithkisses,Imov emylipst
    oher
    foreheaddownt ohercheeks.Shest ir
    sabitandcont
    inueswi thhersleep,Ideci
    detotr
    ya
    diff
    erenttechnique.Leisurel
    y,Ipushheroutofmyarms, Iwaittoseei fshewil
    lmoveandshe
    doesn’t.Igiv
    eami schievoussmileatwhatmymi ndi
    spl anning.She’slayi
    ngonherbackso,
    I
    plantslowdel i
    catekissesonherr ibcagedowntoherbelly.Itakeasecondt oadmir
    eheras
    thisfeelsl
    ikeadr eam, thi
    sishowi tmustfeel
    tobeont opoft hewor l
    d.

    Iki
    ssherlowerbell
    yasItrailmykissesdownandgent lyopenherlegs.Il
    i
    ghtl
    ybr ushmyhand
    upanddownhert hi
    ghs,creati
    ngaci rcul
    armotionwhil
    eplant
    ingkissesonthem.Iknowt he
    i
    nnerthi
    ghispersonal
    ,i
    t’
    spl easingtothetouch,t
    histi
    meshest ar
    tsmov i
    ng.If eelar
    ousedas
    myhanddancesonheri nnerthighs,mylipscoverever
    ysquareinchofherskin.Thisgetsme
    exci
    tedasmysensual t
    hought sincr
    ease.

    Ikissherdownt her
    e,bef
    oreIslowlysl
    idemyhandonherl owerback,l
    i
    fti
    ngherbodyupandI
    plungemyt ongueinsi
    deher.Ihearhershr
    iekbef
    oreherhandssmoothlyfall
    onmyheadasher
    hipsbuckup.Hersweetmoanst ur
    ntoloudmoanst heminuteIbegi
    nmov ingmytonguei
    nand
    outofher.

    Amar
    a:“
    OhRandal
    l
    .”

    Herbr
    eat
    hheav
    esmynameoutofhermout
    h,nev
    erhasi
    tsoundedsweeti
    none’
    sli
    psbef
    ore.

    Imakequi ckdashi
    ngmotionswithmytongue,f
    li
    cki
    ngfastal
    ongthelengt
    hofherclit
    ori
    s.I
    placemypal m bel
    l
    owherbel l
    ybutt
    ontokeepherhi
    pssteadyastheymoverobustl
    y.Ist
    opmid-
    thrustandrai
    semyheadtocat chagli
    mpseofher,shehasherey
    esclosed,herl
    owerlip
    betweenherteethasshebitesit
    .

    Sherai
    sesherheadandImeett
    heconf
    usedl
    ookonherf
    ace,sheknowsI’
    m notdoneandIl
    i
    ke
    thei
    nquisi
    ti
    vel
    ookshe’
    sgiv
    ingmenow.Sheshi
    esawayf
    rom myimpishsmil
    e.

    Imov
    ebackt
    oki
    ssi
    ngheri
    nnert
    highsmappi
    ngmywaydownt
    oher
    .Igosupersl
    ow,
    ent
    eri
    ng
    heri
    nchbyi
    nchwi
    thmyt
    onguef
    orwhatseemsl
    i
    keaf
    ewmi
    nut
    es.

    Ilei
    surel
    ymovemymout haroundhercli
    tori
    s,thi
    sappear
    st osendherovert
    heedge.WhenI
    seethatshe’
    slosi
    ngi
    t,Igent
    lytapwit
    hmyf ingert
    ipi
    nacircul
    armotionandgiveherafewlong
    l
    icks.She’
    smoaningl
    ouderwitheachquickthrust
    ,fi
    l
    li
    ngtheroom witht
    hisbeaut
    if
    ulharmony.

    Shey el
    l
    swithpleasureandthi
    siswhenIknowI’
    vehitt
    hetarget,
    myhandkeepst hegri
    pbellow
    herbell
    ybut
    tonasherbodyshudders.Irai
    semygazeather,she’spant
    ingandheavi
    ng.Iseem
    toli
    kewhatIsee, If
    indmywaybacktoherbody.Herhal
    f-
    li
    ddedey esmeetmineandasmi le
    embracesherface.Iletmyhandpl
    ayaroundherski
    nasIwai tf
    orhertogetbacktohersenses.

    Me:
    “IfIknewy
    out
    ast
    ethi
    sgood,
    Iwoul
    d’v
    etast
    edy
    oul
    ongago.
    ”

    Iexpr
    esssof
    tl
    y,hershynat
    urecomest
    opl
    ayasshemakesaf
    ace.

    Amar
    a:“
    Ify
    oukeept
    hisup,
    Imi
    ghtj
    ustbecomeaddi
    cted.Wi
    l
    lIbeabl
    etogowi
    thouti
    t?”

    Sheasksi
    nqui
    sit
    ivel
    y,t
    hishasmechor
    tl
    ing.Il
    i
    ket
    hissi
    deofher
    ,fi
    erceandnotaf
    rai
    dtospeak
    out
    .

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”

    Ipeckherl
    i
    psbefor
    eshoweri
    ngherf
    acewithl
    i
    nger
    ingki
    ssesandshehol
    dsherfi
    ngert
    ipsr
    ight
    abovemyskinmovi
    ngherhandsupanddownmyspine,
    thi
    sisbyfart
    hebestf
    eel
    ing.

    NOMBULELO*

    I
    ’
    m att
    her
    ecept
    ionar
    eawi
    thBr
    endapr
    epar
    ingt
    ocl
    ockout
    .

    Me:
    “Youcan’
    tbeser
    iousBr
    enda.Howcoul
    dyoudot
    hatt
    oyouraunt
    ?”

    Shoul
    dIev
    ensaywhatshej
    ustt
    oldme?I
    thast
    obei
    l
    legal
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “I’
    mtel
    l
    ingy
    ousaana.Whatwasshedoi
    ngdatingamanyoungert
    hanher
    ?Theboy
    was23,
    it’
    sagi
    vent
    hathewil
    lcr
    aveforf
    reshmeatandoncewe…”

    Shet
    wir
    ls,
    looki
    ngpr
    oudofher
    sel
    f.

    Br
    enda:
    “…wal
    kthr
    ought
    hedoor
    ,heseest
    hegl
    owandwant
    stobei
    nthel
    i
    ght
    .”

    Thi
    swoman.

    Me:
    “So,
    yout
    ooky
    ouraunt
    ’sboy
    fri
    endf
    rom her
    ,ri
    ghtunderhernose?
    ”

    Ther
    e,Isai
    dit
    .

    Br
    enda:
    “Idi
    dn’
    ttakehi
    m,hewasl
    uredi
    n.”

    Me:
    “Bywhat
    ?”

    IsnapatherasIst
    andshockedbyt
    hiswoman.
    Brenda:
    “I’
    my oungandfresh,
    isitnotobv
    ious?Besi
    desmyauntdoesn’
    thavewhatitt
    akesto
    keepaman.Thatol dwomanneedst osti
    cktoheragegroup,
    aboKennethMashaba.Maybe,
    oneofthem wil
    lfi
    nall
    yputaringonit.
    ”

    I
    sshebei
    ngser
    iousr
    ightnow?

    Me:
    “Noti
    fyouhav
    eany
    thi
    ngt
    odowi
    thi
    t.
    ”

    Shegi
    ggl
    esl
    i
    kei
    t’
    saj
    oke.

    Brenda: “
    Whatwi l
    lIdowit
    hanoldman?Iwantmybedt omovewithmesaana,Idon’
    twantto
    l
    iet her
    elikeacorpsewhil
    ethei
    dioti
    sontopofme,fi
    ghti
    ngt
    oreachhishappyendi
    ngand
    forgett
    ingthatIhaveagoalt
    oo.Thenextt
    hing,
    heget
    saheartat
    tackasifhedi
    dsomething.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es,
    Ihav
    ehear
    dital
    lbut
    ,thi
    s.

    Me:
    “Doy
    our
    eal
    l
    yhav
    etopai
    ntt
    hepi
    ctur
    e?”

    Shel
    aughs.

    Br
    enda:
    “Rel
    ax,
    you’
    reol
    denought
    ohearsucht
    hings.
    ”

    I
    ’
    m dubbi
    ngher‘
    thecr
    azybi
    tch.
    ’

    Me:
    “Ibetf
    ami
    l
    ygat
    her
    ingsar
    eawkwar
    d.”

    She’
    shav
    ingaf
    iel
    dday
    .

    Brenda:“Hi
    lar
    iousIt
    ell
    y ou,t
    hisonetime,Iactuall
    ytookhim homeforChri
    stmas.Myauntwent
    ball
    ist
    ic,
    wehadaoneononei nthekit
    chen.Plateswerethrownaroundandpotswereburni
    ng,
    wet ur
    nedthatkit
    chenintoawr est
    li
    ngring.Easter
    nCapehasnev erbeenthesameaftert
    hat,
    shedoesn’tcomehomef ort
    heholidaysanymor e.
    ”

    Shel
    aughsasshewav
    esherhand,
    she’
    snotashamedofi
    t.

    Me:
    “Youf
    oughtwi
    thanel
    der
    .”

    Br
    enda:
    “She’
    sonl
    yteny
    ear
    sol
    der
    ,it
    ’snotabi
    gdeal
    .
    ”

    Me:
    “Hai
    bo!Ok’
    sal
    ayo.Yout
    ookhermanandhadt
    hener
    vet
    ofi
    ghtherst
    il
    l.
    ”(St
    il
    l.
    )

    Br
    enda:
    “Chi
    ni,
    it’
    snotabi
    gdeal
    .Ithappensev
    eryday
    .”

    No,
    itdoesn’
    t.Herr
    esponsehasmesi
    ghi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Wher
    eist
    hisi
    diot
    ?”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    es.

    Br
    enda:
    “Hebor
    edme,
    webr
    okeupt
    hreemont
    hsl
    ater
    .”

    Ir
    estmycase.

    Me:
    “You’
    resomet
    hingel
    se.
    ”
    Br
    endashocksmeev
    eryt
    ime.

    “
    Chubbycheeks.
    ”

    Iswi
    vel
    toMbuso’
    svoi
    cet
    ickl
    i
    ngmyear
    ,hepecksmyl
    i
    pst
    hemomentImeethi
    sface.

    Me:
    “Hey
    ,you’
    reear
    ly.
    ”

    Idi
    dn’
    texpecthi
    mtocomeinsi
    det
    hehospi
    tal
    .Heal
    way
    swai
    tsi
    nthecar
    ,ther
    ear
    evul
    tur
    esi
    n
    thi
    spl
    ace,namel
    y,Namhl
    a.

    Mbuso:
    “Iwasdonewi
    thwor
    kandt
    houghtIshoul
    dcomeear
    ly.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,letmewr
    apupher
    e,t
    henwecango.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Sur
    e,I
    ’
    llbesi
    tt
    ingr
    ightt
    her
    e.”

    Hepoi
    ntst
    oabenchwher
    eaf
    ewv
    isi
    tor
    sar
    eposi
    ti
    oned.

    Br
    enda:
    “Doct
    orXaba,
    howar
    eyou?I
    ’
    m Br
    enda,
    hercol
    l
    eague.
    ”

    Sher
    eachesoutherhandt
    ohi
    m,Br
    endai
    sfor
    war
    d.Ir
    eal
    l
    ywasn’
    tpl
    anni
    ngoni
    ntr
    oduci
    ngt
    hem.

    Mbuso:
    “Hi
    .”

    Hesmi l
    esather
    .Hemust ’vesmil
    edatNamhl ali
    kethi
    shence, shecan’tstopbl
    abberi
    ngabout
    hi
    m.Ithinkmyjealousyr
    aiderj
    ustwenton,Ihaveneverfelti
    nsecureabouthimtal
    kingtoother
    women.May beotherwomenwi l
    ldo,nott
    hisloud-
    mout hforwardladybeforeme.She’sago
    get
    ter,
    Iknowwhensheseessomet hi
    ngshel i
    kes,not
    hingwillst
    opherf r
    om havi
    ngit.Thestor
    y
    shetol
    dmepr ovesit.

    Br
    enda:
    “Wehav
    en’
    tseeny
    ouar
    oundi
    nawhi
    l
    e.Whenwi
    l
    lyougr
    aceuswi
    thy
    ourpr
    esence?
    ”

    She’
    ssmi
    l
    ingathi
    m.

    Mbuso:
    “That
    ’supt
    othest
    aff
    ,ify
    ouguy
    sfeel
    thaty
    ou'
    reunderpr
    essur
    e.”

    Shegi
    ggl
    es.

    Br
    enda:
    “Wel
    l
    ,we’
    real
    way
    sbusyandshor
    tofst
    aff
    .May
    be,
    ify
    oucoul
    dpopi
    nonceaweek.
    ”

    Am Ist
    andi
    ngher
    ewat
    chi
    ngherf
    li
    rtwi
    thhi
    m?I
    sshef
    li
    rt
    ingorar
    emyi
    nsecur
    it
    iesmocki
    ngme?

    Me:
    “Doct
    orXabai
    sbusy
    ,thi
    sIknow.Hebar
    elyhast
    imef
    ormeaswel
    l
    .”

    It
    akehi
    shandasIdecl
    are,
    andgest
    uret
    hatsheshoul
    dst
    op.Shecl
    ear
    shert
    hroatandr
    oll
    sher
    ey
    esatme.

    Mbuso:
    “Nowy
    out
    ell
    me,
    Ishoul
    dcheckmyschedul
    eandseewher
    eIcansqueezey
    oui
    n.”

    He’
    sst
    art
    ing.

    Me:
    “Ir
    efuse,
    Ishoul
    dbeatt
    het
    opoft
    hatschedul
    e?”

    Hesmi
    rks,
    mov
    escl
    oserandt
    oucheshi
    scheekonmi
    newi
    thhi
    shandar
    oundmywai
    st.
    Mbuso:
    “Asl
    ongasIgett
    obeont
    opofy
    ou.
    ”

    Hewhisper
    sinmyearandt
    hisgetsmeweti
    nstant
    ly,
    IhearBr
    endacl
    ear
    ingherdr
    ythr
    oat
    .I
    pushMbusoofft
    omeetanaughtygr
    inonhi
    sface.

    Me:
    “I’
    m st
    il
    latwor
    k,don’
    tgetcar
    ri
    edaway
    .”

    Hepul
    l
    smebacki
    ntohi
    sar
    ms,
    hisar
    m cl
    utchesar
    oundmywai
    st.

    Mbuso:
    “Let
    ’sgohomet
    hen,
    Imi
    ssy
    ouandIwantt
    oshowy
    ouhowmuch.
    ”

    Pr
    egnantwomanal
    ert
    …

    Thesegestur
    esarenothel
    pingwi
    thmyhor
    mones,
    Ismi
    l
    e,Iknowt
    hatIshoul
    dn’
    tbe
    encour
    aginghim.

    Br
    enda:
    “Someofusar
    esi
    ngl
    eandt
    hisi
    snotapr
    ett
    ysi
    ght
    .”

    Br
    endar
    etor
    tshav
    ingmepul
    lawayf
    rom Mbuso.

    Me:
    “Passmemybag,
    please.
    ”

    Sher
    oll
    sherey
    esatmebef
    orehandi
    ngi
    ttome.

    Me:
    “Seey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”

    Br
    enda:
    “Won’
    tyouguy
    sdr
    opmehome?
    ”

    Andt
    hen?

    Me:
    “Youl
    i
    vei
    nJobur
    g.”

    Br
    enda:
    “Yes.
    ”

    Iwasn’
    taski
    ngher
    .

    Me:
    “Yes,
    we’ r
    einSebokeng.So,
    wehav etodri
    vetoJobur
    gthenbackt
    oRandbur
    g.That
    ’sl
    i
    ke
    t
    wotri
    psplus,t
    her
    e’str
    affi
    c.Sor
    rybabe,maybenextt
    ime.
    ”

    Ornev
    er.

    Br
    enda:
    “What
    ever
    ,I’
    l
    lseey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”

    Okay
    .

    “
    Mbuso.
    ”

    Namhl
    acansmel
    lpeopl
    enow,
    I’
    m notsur
    pri
    sed,
    that
    ’sherj
    ob.

    Mbuso:
    “Hi
    .”

    Maybeheshoul
    dlayl
    owont
    hesmi
    l
    e,shesl
    i
    ther
    stohi
    m andt
    hrowsher
    sel
    finhi
    sar
    ms.Iam
    cal
    m,noworri
    es.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Howar
    eyou?
    ”
    Sheaskswhi
    l
    est
    il
    lhol
    dingont
    othi
    sonewayhug.

    Ishoul
    dbemar
    kingmyt
    err
    it
    ory
    ,ri
    ghtaboutnow.

    Mbusoist
    hefi
    rsttopull
    away ,
    heglancesatme.It
    rynottobeobvious,thi
    sisal
    lnewt
    ome.I
    nev
    erhadcompetit
    ionwithZuma,Iwastheonl
    yone.Li
    ttl
    edidIknowt hat,
    mycompeti
    torwas
    myfri
    end,
    wholurkedinthedarkl
    i
    keademon.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m okay
    .Yougood?
    ”

    She’
    sgl
    eami
    ngf
    rom eart
    oear
    ,thi
    sist
    hef
    ir
    stt
    imeI
    ’
    m act
    ual
    l
    yseei
    nghersmi
    l
    e.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Nev
    erbeenbet
    ter
    ,especi
    all
    ynowt
    hatI
    ’
    m seei
    ngy
    ou.
    ”

    Br
    endadoest
    hatt
    hroatthingagai
    n,It
    urnt
    oherandshehasthi
    sdi
    sgust
    edl
    ookonherf
    ace.I
    ’
    m
    gl
    adtoknowt
    hatI
    ’m nottheonlyonewho’
    sappal
    ledbyt
    hiswoman.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Mymot
    herhasbeenaski
    ngabouty
    ou,
    youshoul
    dvi
    sithersomet
    ime.
    ”

    Shest
    ates,
    shehasn’
    tlookedatmeonce.

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    m act
    ual
    l
    yki
    ndofbusy
    ,hey
    .”

    Namhl
    a:“Okay
    ,we’
    rehav
    ingabr
    aai
    thi
    sweekend.Youshoul
    dcomet
    hrough,
    shewi
    l
    lbehappy
    t
    oseeyou.”

    Theset
    wodat
    edandhadsex.Whyi
    sshehunguponhi
    m?

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    lsee.Whatdoy
    out
    hinkLel
    o?Shoul
    dwego?
    ”

    Hetakesmyhandintohi
    s,Namhl
    aalr
    eadyhat
    esmef
    orwhat
    everr
    easonandIam notshocked
    byt
    heblackl
    ook,she’
    sgivi
    ngmeri
    ghtnow.

    Me:
    “Wehav
    ethatt
    hingr
    emember
    ?”

    Hef
    rownsatmebef
    orehej
    umpsi
    nthet
    rai
    nwi
    thme.

    Mbuso:
    “Yes,
    thatt
    hing.Sor
    ry,
    wecan’
    tmakei
    t.
    ”

    Herdayhasbeenr
    uined.

    Namhl
    a:“
    Okay
    ,letmeknowwheny
    ouchangey
    ourmi
    nd.
    ”

    Shest
    ates,
    Ithi
    nkt
    hisi
    sourcue.

    Mbuso:
    “By
    e.”

    Shewav
    esbef
    oresl
    i
    ther
    ingbackt
    owher
    eshecamef
    rom.

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?Youshoul
    dvi
    sitmymot
    her
    ?”

    Ii
    ntr
    oduceaswet
    rol
    ldownt
    hecor
    ri
    dor
    .

    Hel
    aughs,
    it’
    snotf
    unny
    .
    Mbuso:
    “Hermot
    heri
    sar
    eti
    rednur
    se,
    sheusedt
    owor
    katt
    hishospi
    tal
    .”

    Heexpl
    ains.

    Me:
    “But
    ,gi
    rlseemst
    obet
    err
    it
    ori
    al.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    kabouther
    ,let
    ’st
    alkaboutusandt
    het
    hingsIwantt
    odot
    oyou.
    ”

    Hi
    shandgoesar
    oundmywai
    stashepul
    l
    smecl
    oserandki
    ssesmycheek.

    Me:
    “We’
    rei
    npubl
    i
    c,Mbuso.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “So?
    ”

    Me:
    “Ther
    ear
    eadul
    tsar
    oundandt
    heyar
    est
    ari
    ng.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Lett
    hem,
    may
    bet
    heywi
    l
    llear
    nat
    hingort
    wo.
    ”

    Ipushhi
    m of
    f,he’
    scr
    azy
    .

    RANDALL*

    Ireceivedacall
    from oneoftheguy ssayi
    ngOliv
    iawasgivi
    ngthem t
    rouble.Ihavetoadmitthat,
    Ienjoyseeinghersuff
    er.I
    fIdidn’tseeLi
    yana'
    spainwhenIlookatOli
    vi
    amay be,Iwouldhave
    mer cyonher.Herli
    feishangingbyat hr
    ead,shehasbeggedmet oenditandt hat
    ’ssomething
    Iwillnotdo.Il
    eavethattoher,she’st
    oomuchofacowar dtotakeherownl if
    e.

    Thehousel
    ooksl
    i
    keamess,
    ther
    e’saf
    oul
    smel
    lthathasmegagi
    ngt
    hemomenti
    thi
    tsmy
    nost
    ri
    ls.

    She'
    slay
    ingont
    hecouch,
    herbodyf
    aci
    ngup,
    seemi
    ngl
    ylosti
    naf
    loodoft
    hought
    s.

    Me:
    “Honey
    ,I’
    m home.
    ”

    Shej
    erksupandi
    nst
    ant
    lyt
    ear
    sst
    ream downhercheeks.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randy
    .”

    Shewhi
    sper
    sinahoar
    sev
    oice.

    Me:
    “Coul
    dn’
    tyoucl
    eanupOl
    i
    via?Thi
    spl
    acel
    ooksl
    i
    keapi
    gst
    y.”

    Shepl
    odst
    owar
    dsme,
    desper
    ati
    onpast
    edonherf
    ace.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    "Randy
    ,hel
    pme.Ineedaf
    ix,
    thesemendon’
    twantt
    ogi
    veme.I
    ’
    m goi
    ngcr
    azyher
    e.”

    Herskini
    sdull
    ,shehasself
    -i
    nfl
    i
    ctedwoundsf rom pi
    ckingatherf
    ace.Iknowthi
    slookpret
    ty
    wel
    l,addi
    ctst
    endtopickatthei
    rski
    nthinki
    ngbugsar ecrawli
    ngunderit
    .Herski
    nhasacne
    br
    eakoutsandneedl
    emar ks.Mostofherhairhasfal
    lenoutandshelooksthi
    nandskelet
    al.

    Me:
    “Ther
    e’snot
    hingIcandoOl
    i
    via,
    I’
    m nott
    heonewi
    tht
    hedr
    ugs.
    ”
    Shecl
    encheshert
    eet
    h.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Pl
    ease,
    I’
    ll
    doany
    thi
    ng.Lookatme,
    I’
    m amess.
    ”

    Sheswipesherhandov
    erherdr
    ymout
    hbef
    orepr
    essi
    ngi
    tonhernoseandr
    ubsawayt
    he
    i
    rri
    tat
    ion.

    Me:“
    Didn’
    tyouthi
    nkthat
    ,thi
    siswhatwoul
    dhappent
    oLi
    yai
    fyoucont
    inuedt
    ofeedherdr
    ugs?
    Orworse,
    shecoul
    d’v
    edied.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Li
    ya,
    mybaby
    .She’
    sfi
    ner
    ight
    ?Letmeseeher
    ,Iwantt
    oseeher
    ,justt
    hisonce.
    ”

    Shespeaksr
    api
    dlywi
    thoutst
    oppi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Isai
    ditl
    astt
    imeOl
    i
    via,
    youwi
    l
    lnev
    erseet
    hatl
    i
    ttl
    egi
    rlagai
    n.”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Okay
    ,that
    ’sf
    ine.Gi
    vemeaf
    ixRandal
    lthenIwi
    l
    lst
    oppur
    sui
    ngher
    .”

    Shepl
    eadsi
    ndesper
    ati
    on.

    Me:
    “Ican’
    thel
    pyour
    eal
    l
    y,t
    hepoweri
    snoti
    nmyhands.
    ”

    Shescr
    atchesher
    sel
    f,shel
    ookscompl
    etel
    youtofi
    t.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Thi
    sisal
    lyourf
    aul
    t.
    ”

    Shescr
    eamsatmewhi
    l
    ebur
    yingherf
    acei
    nherhands.

    Ol
    iv
    ia:
    “I’
    m sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeant
    oscr
    eam.YouknowIl
    ovedy
    ouRandy
    ,Iwoul
    d’v
    egi
    veny
    out
    he
    wor
    ld.
    ”

    Sheput
    sherar
    msar
    oundmywai
    standl
    ooksupatme.

    Me:
    “Don’
    ttouchme.
    ”

    Ipushherback,
    sheal
    mostf
    all
    sbutmai
    ntai
    nsherbal
    ance.

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Icanmakey
    ouf
    eel
    goodRandy
    ,letmemakey
    ouhappy
    .”

    Shegr
    absmycoati
    nanat
    temptt
    otakei
    tof
    f,Ir
    oughl
    ygr
    abherar
    ms.

    Me:
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    ttouchy
    ou,
    eveni
    fyouwer
    enaked.
    ”

    Shef
    rownsatmygr
    unt
    .

    Oli
    vi
    a:“I
    t’
    sfine,Idon’
    tmi
    nd.Youcandoany
    thi
    ngt
    ome,
    I’
    m awomanRandal
    landIknowt
    hat
    youcan’
    tresistawoman.
    ”

    Shest
    atesassheunbut
    tonshershi
    rt
    ,shel
    etsi
    tsl
    i
    ptot
    hef
    loor
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Remembert
    his,
    youwant
    edt
    hist
    hedaywemadeLi
    yana.
    ”

    Whatt
    hehel
    l
    ?

    Me:
    “Idi
    dn’
    tev
    enknowy
    ou,
    unt
    ily
    oucamet
    omecl
    aimi
    ngwehadachi
    l
    dtoget
    her
    .Cov
    erup
    Ol
    i
    via,
    you’
    reonl
    yembar
    rassi
    ngy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Whyar
    eyousocr
    uel
    ?”

    Shescr
    eamsasshegr
    ipsherhai
    r.

    Me:“Thi
    sisonl
    ythet
    asteofit
    ,Icamet
    oseei
    fyou’
    rest
    il
    lal
    i
    ve.Iam di
    sappoi
    nted,
    Ithoughtt
    hat
    youwouldgi
    veandki
    lly
    oursel
    f.
    ”

    Shesl
    owl
    ypi
    ckshershi
    rtandwear
    sit
    .

    Randal
    l
    :“Youwoul
    ddoal
    lofusaf
    avour
    .”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “I’
    m notgoi
    ngt
    odi
    e,mybabyneedsme.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whatbaby
    ?Youdon’
    thav
    eababy
    .”

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Youcan’
    tdenymemychi
    l
    dRandal
    l
    .”

    Shegoesonthescr
    atchjour
    neyagai
    n,sheappearsf
    rust
    rat
    edbywhat
    everi
    seat
    ingherup.She
    ti
    ght
    ensherarmsaroundheruppert
    orsoandsnif
    fs.

    Me:
    “Ir
    eal
    l
    yhav
    etogoOl
    i
    via,
    I’
    m sor
    ryt
    hatIcan’
    tst
    ay.
    ”

    Shegr
    ipsmyar
    m asIst
    artt
    oambl
    etowar
    dst
    hedoor
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “No,no,no.Pl
    ease,
    don’
    tleavemeli
    kethi
    s.Iwon’
    tsur
    viv
    eanot
    hersecond,
    atl
    eastgi
    ve
    meapill
    .Coughmedici
    neoranythi
    ngpl
    ease.
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    repat
    het
    icOl
    i
    via,
    gocl
    eany
    our
    sel
    fandt
    idyar
    oundher
    e.”

    Iy
    ankmyhandf
    rom her
    .

    Ol
    i
    via:
    “Randal
    l
    !!!
    ”

    ShescreamsoutasIshutt
    hedoorbehindme.Ican’
    treal
    l
    ysayt hatIpit
    yher,
    shedeserves
    what’
    shappeni
    ngtoher.I
    fshecanthi
    nkofharmingherchil
    d,i
    tclearl
    ystat
    esthatshe’
    snota
    goodparent
    .Gi
    venachance,shewi
    lldoitagai
    n.

    Idr
    ivet
    oSt
    yles’
    house,
    het
    ext
    ed,
    say
    ingsomet
    hinghappenedt
    oNeo.

    Whatcoul
    dpossi
    blyhappent
    othatman?Hei
    smor
    ecaut
    ioust
    hanany
    oneIknow.

    Iwal
    kint
    omeetNkomoseat
    edont
    hecouchsi
    ppi
    ngonagl
    assofWhi
    skey
    ,henods.

    Me:
    “You’
    reback?
    ”

    Iambl
    ein,
    justasSt
    ylesst
    rol
    l
    sinf
    rom t
    heki
    tchen.

    Nkomo:
    “Yeah.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “It
    houghty
    ou’
    dbeher
    eawhi
    l
    eago.
    ”

    Hesi
    tsopposi
    tesme.
    Me:
    “Ihadt
    oseeOl
    i
    via.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Howi
    sshe?
    ”

    Ihopehi
    ssof
    tsi
    dei
    snotaboutcomeout
    .

    Me:
    “Doesi
    tmat
    ter
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “May
    bey
    oushou…”

    Isawt
    hiscomi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Don’
    tbot
    her
    ,it
    ’snothappeni
    ng.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    shead.

    Me:
    “Whathashappenedt
    oNeo?Wher
    eishe?
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Tshi
    dihappened,
    he’
    satt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”

    Heanswer
    sandIcan’
    tseem t
    oputt
    oget
    herwhatexact
    lyt
    hatwomandi
    dtohi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Shebur
    nthi
    m wi
    thboi
    l
    ingwat
    er.
    ”

    Ican’
    tsayInev
    ersawt
    hiscomi
    ng.Tshi
    dii
    sadi
    sast
    erwai
    ti
    ngt
    ohappen.

    Me:
    “Thatbi
    tch.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Youcan’
    tputany
    thi
    ngpasther
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “NkomoandIar
    egoi
    ngt
    oseehi
    mtomor
    row.Wi
    l
    lyoubeabl
    etomakei
    t?”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tseewhynot
    ,ifIdon’
    t,
    Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erheart
    heendofhi
    scompl
    aini
    ng.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “He’
    l
    lev
    enbr
    ingi
    tupaty
    ourf
    uner
    al.
    ”

    That
    ’sNeoal
    ri
    ght
    .

    Me:
    “Hewon’
    tletmer
    esti
    npeace.
    ”

    St
    ylesl
    aughs.

    St
    yles:
    “Neodoesn’
    tdeser
    vet
    his,
    hewi
    l
    lhav
    etol
    i
    vewi
    tht
    hosescar
    shi
    swhol
    eli
    fe.
    ”

    St
    ylesi
    shur
    tbyt
    his,
    he’
    ssensi
    ti
    vel
    i
    ket
    hat
    .

    Me:
    “He’
    l
    lbeal
    ri
    ght
    ,Iknowhi
    mtobest
    rong.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“
    WhataboutAmar
    aandLi
    yana?RememberMkhi
    zei
    saf
    tert
    hem,
    youcan’
    tleav
    ethem
    unprot
    ected.
    ”

    Her
    emi
    ndsoft
    hedanger
    sthatl
    i
    eahead.

    Me:
    “Iwon’
    tbest
    ayi
    ngt
    her
    e,I
    ’
    llheadbacksoonaf
    terIseehi
    m.”

    Nkomo:
    “Thatol
    dmanj
    ustwon’
    tgi
    veup.
    ”
    He’
    scl
    ear
    lyanger
    edbyhi
    sfat
    her
    ’sact
    ions.

    Me:
    “He’
    snotdoi
    ngi
    tbecausehewant
    sher
    ,it
    ’sal
    laboutpower
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Ican’
    twai
    ttoseet
    hatol
    dfool
    crash.
    ”

    Thecol
    dnessi
    nhi
    stonebear
    swi
    tnessoft
    hehat
    redhehasf
    orMkhi
    ze.

    Me:
    “I’
    mti
    redofbei
    ngsur
    roundedbyenemi
    es,
    Iwantt
    ost
    artmyl
    i
    fewi
    thAmar
    a.”

    St
    yles:
    “We’
    l
    lel
    i
    minat
    ethem oneatat
    ime.
    ”

    Hegi
    vesasl
    ygr
    in.

    St
    yles:
    “It
    hinkIhav
    etheper
    fectper
    sonwhowi
    l
    lappr
    oachRut
    hwi
    tht
    hisgi
    ft
    .”

    Ani
    deaj
    ustfl
    ashedt
    hroughhi
    sbrai
    n,l
    eav
    ingaf
    rownonhi
    sface.Her
    unshi
    sey
    est
    oNkomo,
    whoi
    sunawareofhi
    stwist
    edpl
    an.

    Me:
    “No,
    thatwon’
    twor
    k.”

    Idi
    sput
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Itwi
    l
    l,Ihav
    eal
    way
    sknownhi
    mtobeasmoot
    htal
    ker
    .Heknowshi
    swayar
    ound
    women.”

    Nkomonot
    icest
    hathe’
    stheor
    deroft
    opi
    c,hescowl
    sandshr
    ugshi
    sshoul
    der
    s.

    May
    beSt
    ylesi
    sri
    ght
    .

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sdone.
    ”

    Hesmi
    l
    esashegul
    psonagl
    assofwhi
    skey
    .

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ’sdone?Whatar
    eyout
    woonabout
    ?”

    St
    ylesl
    etshi
    minont
    hepl
    an.

    Nkomo:
    “Hel
    lno,I
    ’
    m notdoi
    ngt
    hat
    .Ift
    hiswomani
    ssoent
    hral
    l
    edbyRandal
    l
    ,thenshewon’
    t
    gi
    vemeasecondlook.
    ”

    Styl
    es:“She’
    sawomanNkomo, tel
    lherwhatshewantstohear.Makeherkneesweak,makeher
    giggl
    e.You’v
    edoneitbef
    ore,andwheny ouhaveherwrappedaroundyourl
    it
    tl
    efi
    nger.You
    showerherwi t
    hgi
    ft
    sbeforepresenti
    ngtheul
    timat
    egift
    .”

    St
    ylesi
    shav
    ingat
    hri
    l
    latt
    his,
    hel
    ovesi
    twhenhi
    spl
    ansar
    ecomi
    ngt
    oget
    her
    .

    Me:
    “Don’
    tcat
    chf
    eel
    i
    ngs,
    you’
    reaMkhi
    ze.Youl
    otar
    eweakasf
    uck.
    ”

    Hechor
    tl
    esasher
    ubshi
    sneck.

    Nkomo:
    “Idon’
    tli
    ket
    his.
    ”

    He’
    shesi
    tant
    .
    St
    yles:
    “Whenl
    astdi
    dyouhav
    eawomani
    nyourbedNkomo,
    thi
    sisy
    ourchance.
    ”

    St
    ylesi
    sani
    diot
    .Nkomosneer
    sathi
    m.

    Nkomo:
    “Fucky
    ou.
    ”

    Hi
    sfr
    owni
    sfi
    erceashegr
    owl
    satSt
    yleswhosni
    gger
    sinr
    etur
    n.

    St
    yles:
    “Sor
    ry,
    Iwast
    ryi
    ngt
    oconv
    incey
    ou.
    ”

    Nkomo:“Fi
    ne,
    Iwil
    ldoit
    .Don’twor
    ryaboutmecatchi
    ngfeel
    i
    ngs,Ial
    readyhav
    emyeyesseton
    someone.Worr
    yaboutRut
    h,Iwil
    lnotent
    ert
    ainherwhenmymissioniscompl
    ete.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Don’
    twor
    ryaboutt
    hat
    ,shewon’
    tli
    vet
    ool
    ongt
    ochaseaf
    tery
    ou.
    ”

    Nkomo:
    “Howam If
    ri
    endswi
    thy
    ou?
    ”

    Hi
    squest
    ionhasSt
    yleschor
    tl
    ing,
    Itendt
    oaskmy
    sel
    fthesamequest
    ion.

    Me:
    “Ineedadr
    ink.
    ”

    Myheadf eelsheavyandl
    i
    ght-
    headedatt
    hesametime,Idon’
    tknowwhat’
    swrongwi
    thme.I
    staggerbackalit
    tl
    easIbri
    ngmybodyup,St
    ylesj
    erksf
    rom hi
    sseatandhashi
    shandonmy
    shoulderi
    naf l
    ash.

    St
    yles:
    “Whatwr
    ong?
    ”

    Me:
    “Myheadi
    sspi
    nni
    ng.
    ”

    Ir
    ubmyf
    oreheadwi
    tht
    het
    ipsofmyf
    inger
    s.

    St
    yles:
    “Takeasi
    t,I
    ’
    llgety
    ouagl
    assofwat
    er.
    ”

    Her
    ushest
    otheki
    tchenwhi
    l
    eIsi
    tback,
    myv
    isi
    onbl
    ursal
    i
    ttl
    e.

    Nkomo:
    “What
    ’swr
    ongman?
    ”

    Ishr
    ugmyshoul
    der
    s,It
    urnt
    oSt
    yleswhohol
    dsoutagl
    assofwat
    ert
    ome.

    I
    thel
    psabi
    tasi
    teasest
    hel
    i
    ght
    -headedness.

    St
    yles:
    “Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”

    Hei
    nspect
    smyf
    ace.

    Me:
    “I’
    mfi
    ne.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Good,
    forasecondt
    her
    e,It
    houghty
    oucoul
    dbepr
    egnant
    .”

    HeandNkomol
    augh,
    he’
    scr
    azy
    .

    Me:
    “Ihav
    en’
    thadany
    thi
    ngt
    oeatsi
    ncemor
    ning,
    it’
    spr
    obabl
    ythat
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Int
    hatcase,
    I’
    m goi
    ngt
    omakey
    ousomet
    hing.
    ”

    Heambl
    esbackt
    otheki
    tchen,
    hewor
    ri
    est
    oomuchsomet
    imes.
    Tobecont
    inued…
    BEAUTYTAMESTHEBEAST*

    95*

    NOMBULELO*

    Me:
    “Mbuso,
    that
    ’smyuncl
    e.”

    Hepar
    ksatt
    hegat
    e,wej
    ustgothomef
    rom t
    hehospi
    tal
    .

    Mbuso:
    “Whati
    shedoi
    ngher
    e?”

    Me:
    “Beat
    sme.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Shoul
    dIdr
    ivet
    hroughandpr
    etendwedi
    dn’
    tseehi
    m?”

    He’
    ski
    ddi
    ng.

    Me:
    “Hel
    ooksbot
    her
    ed.
    ”

    Mbusopar
    ksthecaronthesi
    deoftheroad,
    Uncl
    eJonasmakeshi
    swayt
    ous.Thef
    rownonhi
    s
    f
    acesayshedoesn’
    tli
    kewhathe’
    sseei
    ng.

    Me:
    “Mal
    ume?
    ”(Ij
    umpoutoft
    hecar
    .)

    Jonus:
    "Thesecur
    it
    yisv
    eryst
    ri
    cther
    e,t
    heywoul
    dn'
    tl
    etmei
    n."

    Me:
    "Theyar
    edoi
    ngt
    hei
    rjobuncl
    e."

    Jonas:
    “Somet
    hinghashappenedwi
    thy
    ourmot
    her
    .”

    Myhear
    tdr
    ops.

    Me:
    “Yi
    nimal
    ume?
    ”(Whati
    situncl
    e?)

    Hesi
    ghs.

    Jonas:
    “She’
    sbeenar
    rest
    ed.
    ”

    Me:
    “What
    ?”

    Mbusost
    ri
    dest
    omysi
    de,
    myuncl
    eshoot
    shi
    m acol
    dst
    are.

    Mbuso:
    “Sawubonamal
    ume.
    ”(Gr
    eet
    ingsuncl
    e.)

    Jonas:
    “Boy
    .”

    That
    ’shi
    m gr
    eet
    ingback.

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tunder
    stand.Howdi
    dthi
    shappen?
    ”
    Jonas:
    “Mart
    haandt
    hatwomanTebogower
    eat
    tackedbyanangr
    ymob,
    yourmot
    heri
    stheone
    behi
    ndit.
    ”

    Me:
    “Mymot
    herwoul
    dn’
    tdosomet
    hingl
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Iwast
    her
    e,Isawi
    tmy
    sel
    f.Tebogol
    aidchar
    gesagai
    nsther
    .”

    Me:
    “Uncl
    e,wehav
    etogetherout
    ,shewon’
    tsur
    viv
    einj
    ail
    .”

    Hesi
    ghs.

    Jonas:
    “Iknow,
    Icameher
    ebecauseIcoul
    dn’
    tgett
    hrought
    oyourphone.
    ”

    Me:
    “Sor
    ry,
    mybat
    ter
    yisdead.
    ”

    Mbuso:
    “Ist
    her
    eany
    thi
    ngwecando?
    ”

    Jonas:
    “Thi
    sisaf
    ami
    l
    ymat
    ter
    ,itwoul
    dbeni
    cei
    fyoudon’
    tint
    erf
    ere.
    ”

    Iam of
    fendedr
    eal
    l
    y.

    Me:
    “Hej
    ustwant
    stohel
    puncl
    e.”

    Hel
    ooksatmel
    i
    keIhav
    ejustsai
    dsomet
    hingst
    upi
    d.

    Jonas:
    “Iwast
    hinki
    ngt
    hat
    ,Icoul
    dconv
    inceTebogot
    odr
    opt
    hechar
    ges.
    ”

    That
    ’sani
    deabut
    …

    Me:
    “Howar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odot
    hat
    ?”

    Jonas:
    “Thewomanl
    ovesherbot
    tl
    e,i
    twi
    l
    lspeakf
    orme.
    ”

    Ismi
    l
    eatt
    hisconni
    vi
    ngol
    dman.

    Me:
    “Pl
    easedot
    hatuncl
    eandgetmom out
    ,dadneedsher
    .”

    Hi
    sexpr
    essi
    onchangesatt
    hement
    ionofmyf
    ather
    .

    Jonas:
    “Ihav
    etogo,
    it’
    sget
    ti
    ngl
    ate.
    ”

    Me:
    “Okay
    ,thanky
    ou.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksatMbuso,
    thenbackatme.

    Jonas:
    “Wheni
    sZodwacomi
    ngt
    othehouse?
    ”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    Iwaswai
    ti
    ngf
    ormom.
    ”

    Jonas:“I
    ’
    llspeakt
    oyourmotherandlety
    ouknow.Af
    teral
    loft
    hisi
    sov
    er,
    thi
    sboymustt
    ake
    responsi
    bil
    it
    yofyouandt
    hischil
    d.”

    Mbuso:
    “I’
    l
    ldot
    hatmal
    ume.
    ”(Uncl
    e.)

    Henods.
    Jonas:
    “Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyoumychi
    l
    d.”

    Me:
    “By
    e.”

    Wewat
    chhi
    m ashej
    umpsi
    ntohi
    scaranddr
    ivesof
    f.

    SETHU*

    IspotSt
    yleswai
    ti
    ngf
    ormeatt
    hegat
    e,i
    t’
    sopenso,
    Idr
    ivei
    nandpar
    kinf
    rontoft
    hegar
    age
    door.

    Hesmi
    l
    esasIj
    umpoutoft
    hecar
    .

    St
    yles:
    “Youf
    oundi
    t?”

    Hepul
    l
    smei
    nforahug.

    Me:
    “Thankst
    otheGPS.
    ”

    Iut
    terasIpul
    lawayf
    rom hi
    swar
    m embr
    ace.

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sgoodt
    oseey
    ouher
    e.”

    Hesmi
    l
    es,
    Idon’
    tknowwhathemeansbyt
    hisbuti
    t’
    sgoodt
    obeher
    e.

    St
    yles:
    “Di
    dyoubr
    ingy
    ourov
    erni
    ghtbag?
    ”

    Me:
    “It
    ’si
    ntheback.
    ”

    Heopenst
    hebackdoorandpul
    l
    soutmybag.

    Me:
    “Ist
    il
    ldon’
    tunder
    standwhyy
    ouwantmet
    osl
    eepov
    er.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “BecauseI
    ’
    m goi
    ngawayt
    omor
    row.
    ”

    Hel
    eadsmet
    othehouse.

    Me:
    “It
    ’snotl
    i
    key
    ou’
    renotcomi
    ngback.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Younev
    erknowhey
    ,thi
    smi
    ghtbet
    hel
    astt
    imey
    ouseeme.
    ”

    Me:
    “Don’
    tsayt
    hatpl
    ease.
    ”

    Ican’tstandthet
    houghtofnotseei
    ngagai
    n,I
    ’
    m notsur
    eaboutt
    hel
    ookhe’
    sgi
    vi
    ngme.Ipl
    ace
    my selfonthesof
    a.

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    osi
    tther
    eli
    keabr
    ide?
    ”

    Heasksashesmi
    l
    esatme.

    Me:
    “Funny
    .”
    Hesni
    gger
    s.

    St
    yles:
    “Ineedhel
    pwi
    tht
    hef
    oodi
    ntheki
    tchen.
    ”

    Thi
    sinst
    ant
    lyput
    sasmi
    l
    eonmyf
    ace.

    Me:
    “Real
    l
    y?Whatdi
    dyoumake?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Not
    hingy
    et,
    Ibr
    oughtgr
    ocer
    ies.
    ”

    Hesi
    tsont
    hear
    m oft
    hechai
    rbesi
    deme.

    Me:
    “Whydoy
    ouneedmyhel
    p?”

    Hel
    aughs.

    Me:
    “I’
    m aguest
    ,Iwi
    l
    lnotbet
    ouchi
    ngany
    thi
    ngi
    nthi
    shouse.
    ”

    Ir
    etor
    tasIsi
    tback.

    St
    yles“
    Ican’
    tpr
    omi
    segr
    eatf
    oodhey
    ,I’
    m notgoodatcooki
    ng.
    ”

    Me:
    “Wi
    l
    lyoul
    etmebet
    hej
    udgeoft
    hat
    ?”

    Hegr
    absmyhandasher
    ises,
    pul
    l
    ingmeupwi
    thhi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Bummer
    ,It
    houghtt
    hatIwoul
    dfi
    nal
    l
    ytast
    eyourf
    oodt
    oday
    .”

    Me:
    “Sad,
    Iknow.May
    benextt
    ime.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “That
    ,may
    be,
    isst
    andi
    ngi
    nmyway
    .”

    Me:
    “Icanmaket
    hesal
    ad,
    lesswor
    kforme.
    ”

    Hepul
    l
    smet
    otheki
    tchenwi
    thhi
    m.

    St
    yles:
    “Gr
    eatandmor
    eforme.
    ”

    Hecompl
    ains.

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    teatsal
    ady
    ouknow,
    Idon’
    tli
    kei
    t.
    ”

    Me:
    “You’
    l
    llov
    emi
    ne,
    wai
    tti
    l
    lyout
    ast
    eit
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Thi
    ssoundspr
    omi
    sing,
    Ili
    ke.
    ”

    Ther
    e’sl
    i
    ter
    all
    ygr
    ocer
    iesont
    het
    abl
    e,Igi
    vehi
    m anenqui
    ri
    ngl
    ook.

    St
    yles:“
    What
    ?Ididn’
    thav
    eti
    met
    opackt
    hem.It
    houghtmay
    bey
    oucoul
    dpr
    epar
    eyour
    si
    gnatur
    edi
    sh.”

    Me:
    “And,
    howdi
    dyouknowwhi
    chi
    ngr
    edi
    ent
    stoget
    ?”

    St
    yles:
    “Idi
    dn’
    t,
    Ihear
    dthatchef
    scanwor
    kwi
    thany
    thi
    ng.Thi
    swon’
    tbehar
    dfory
    ou.
    ”

    Her
    espondssmi
    l
    ingdownatme,
    ifonl
    yheknewwhathi
    ssmi
    l
    edoest
    ome.Ther
    e'samoment
    andi
    thasmecl
    ear
    ingmyt
    hroat
    .

    Me:
    “Let
    ’sseewhatwecancomeoutwi
    th.
    ”

    Hegleams.Thi
    siswhatIneedafteralongdayatwor
    k,I
    ’
    m ablet
    oforgetaboutmyprobl
    emsas
    Ikeepbusyi
    ntheki
    tchen.St
    yleshasleftev
    ery
    thi
    ngtome,he’
    ssi
    tti
    ngdown, si
    ppi
    ngonacupof
    coff
    ee.

    Ishould’v
    eseent hi
    scomi ng,mymot herwoul
    dl i
    ter
    all
    ychasti
    seme, i
    fsheseesmei nthis
    sit
    uati
    on.Hel eavesthekit
    chent oatt
    endtoacall,i
    t’
    sagoodt hi
    ngI’m al
    mostdone.I
    ’m sti
    rr
    ing
    thegravyinthepotasIspotaf i
    gureoutsi
    dethewindow,may beI’
    m seei
    ngthi
    ngsduet othe
    darkness.Izoom myey es,ther
    e’ssomeonethere.Ican’
    ttel
    li
    fit’
    samanorawoman, theyare
    faci
    ngt hi
    sdirect
    ion.

    Set
    hu:
    “St
    yles,
    ther
    e’ssomeoneout
    side.
    ”

    Iscr
    eam outf
    orhi
    m,hecomesr
    ushi
    ngi
    n.

    St
    yles:
    “What
    ?”

    Me:
    “Isawsomeoneout
    side.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    e?”

    Hepeeksoutt
    hewi
    ndow,
    asInod.

    Her
    ushesout
    sidet
    ocheckwhi
    l
    eIanx
    iousl
    ywai
    tforhi
    m.He’
    sbacki
    nnot
    ime.

    Me:
    “And?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Ther
    e’snoone.
    ”

    That
    ’si
    mpossi
    ble.
    .

    Me:
    “IsawsomeoneSt
    yles,
    Iswear
    .”

    Myv
    oicebr
    eaks,
    het
    akesmyhand.

    St
    yles:
    “Hey
    ,what
    ’swr
    ong?You’
    reshaki
    ng.
    ”

    Hepul
    l
    smet
    oaseat
    .

    Me:“I
    ’
    m sor
    ry,If
    reakedout
    .It
    ’sj
    ustthat
    ,I’
    vebeengett
    ingthesecal
    l
    sint
    hemi
    ddl
    eofni
    ght
    .The
    per
    sonwouldbreatheov
    erthephonewithoutsay
    inganyt
    hing.”

    St
    yles:
    “Whendi
    ditst
    art
    ?”

    Me:
    “Aweekago,
    somet
    imesIf
    eel
    li
    keI
    ’
    m bei
    ngf
    oll
    owed.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Youshoul
    d’v
    etol
    dme.
    ”

    Hecar
    ri
    esawor
    ri
    edl
    ook.

    Me:
    “It
    ’spr
    obabl
    ynot
    hinghey
    ,letmef
    ini
    shupwi
    tht
    hecooki
    ng.
    ”
    There’
    sal oudcrashasIgetup,
    Sty
    lesshi
    eldsmeashepul
    l
    smeback.Wet
    urnt
    oseeabr
    ick
    onthefloor.Someonesmasheditt
    hroughthewi
    ndow.

    St
    yles:
    “Whatt
    hehel
    l
    ?”

    Hegr
    unt
    sashescur
    ri
    esbackout
    sideandshut
    sthedoorbehi
    ndhi
    m.

    Me:
    “St
    yleswai
    t.
    ”

    Ishoutaft
    erhim,hepr
    obabl
    ydidn’
    thearme.Thi
    sisdanger
    ous,
    ther
    eissomeoneoutt
    her
    e.
    Whatiftheyhurthi
    m?WhatshouldIdo?

    Iwanttogoaf
    terhi
    m but
    ,theper
    soncoul
    dbeany
    wher
    e.Ipani
    casIwai
    tforhi
    mtocomeback,
    he’
    staki
    ngfor
    ever.

    Isuddenl
    yhearfootsteps,Igr
    abaf r
    yingpan,st
    epbackandpreparemy sel
    fforany
    thi
    ng.My
    hearti
    sonmyt hroat.Ichargetowar
    dst hedooronl
    ytor
    eali
    zethatit
    ’sStyl
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “It
    ’sme.
    ”

    Hel
    ooksf
    lushed.

    Me:
    “Ar
    eyouokay
    ?Iwaswor
    ri
    ed.
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Whoev
    erwasoutt
    her
    eisgone.
    ”

    Me:
    “Whocoul
    ditbe?
    ”

    St
    yles:
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    thi
    sisr
    atherst
    range.
    ”

    Me:
    “May
    beweshoul
    dcal
    lthepol
    i
    ce.
    ”

    Heshakeshi
    sheadatmysuggest
    ion.

    Sty
    les:“I
    ’l
    ltakecareoft
    hisdon’
    twor
    ry,l
    etmepat
    cht
    hatwi
    ndowt
    hen,
    wecangobackt
    oour
    date.Ir
    efusetoletsomeidi
    otrui
    nourday.
    ”

    Idon’
    tknowi
    fI’
    l
    lbecomf
    ort
    abl
    e.

    Me:
    “Dat
    e?”

    Hesmi
    l
    es.

    St
    yles:
    “Yes,
    dat
    e.”

    Me:
    “Idon’
    tremembery
    ouaski
    ngmeout
    .”

    St
    yles:
    “Thi
    sshoul
    dcountasadat
    eri
    ght
    ?Iwaspr
    obabl
    ymi
    sinf
    ormed.
    ”

    Me:
    “Youwer
    edef
    ini
    tel
    ymi
    sinf
    ormed.
    ”

    Hel
    aughs.
    RANDALL*

    Thehouseiscompl
    etel
    yempt
    yandIcan’
    tfi
    ndAmaraanywher
    e,Ihavesear
    chedeveryr
    oom i
    n
    thehouse.Thel
    i
    ght
    saredi
    m andt
    heatmospher
    eisnotwel
    coming,i
    tgiv
    esastrangeaur
    a.

    Igett
    oourr
    oom andpushi
    topen,
    she’
    sher
    est
    andi
    ngbyt
    hewi
    ndow,
    Icanonl
    yseeherback.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a,I
    ’
    vebeenl
    ooki
    ngf
    or…”

    Ist
    opasIseeastr
    angewomanst andi
    ngbef
    oreher
    ,shehasakni
    fei
    nherhandandt
    hel
    ookon
    herf
    acei
    sdeadl
    y.Inst
    ant
    ly,
    Iknowwhatsheplanst
    odo.

    Me:
    “Getawayf
    rom her
    .”

    Iyel
    l
    , t
    hewomangiv
    esabonechil
    l
    inggri
    nbefor
    eplungingthekni
    fei
    ntoAmar
    a’sst
    omach,
    she
    heavesforbr
    eat
    hasift
    aki
    ngherl
    astandfal
    l
    stothefloor.

    Me:
    “Amar
    a.”

    Ir
    usht
    oherandt
    akeheri
    nmyar
    ms.

    Me:
    “Amar
    aopeny
    ourey
    es.
    ”

    Ipl
    eaddesper
    atel
    y,she’
    snotmov
    ing.

    Me:
    “No,
    Amar
    agetup,
    getup.
    ”

    Feart
    akesov
    ermywhol
    ebei
    ng,
    herbodyi
    scol
    dandshehasnopul
    se.

    Ilookupt oseet hewomanwalkt owardsme,she’


    snownakedandhasaseduct i
    vesmil
    eonher
    face.Ican'
    tmakeoutherf ace,If
    eeladeepragewithi
    nme, oneIcan’
    tcont
    rol
    .Iwantt
    otur
    n
    awaybut ,ther
    e’saforcet
    hat’
    sstoppingmefrom moving.

    Anol dmancomesi nfr


    ontofme.Herai
    seshi shandashepoint
    satt hewoman,shescr
    eams
    andv ani
    shesli
    keshewasneverher
    e.HeturnsandIseemygr andfather
    ,hewear
    sagloomy
    face.Suddenl
    yIbegi
    ntogaspandmyhear tfeel
    slikei
    t’
    sbei
    ngprickedwithat
    housandneedl
    es.

    Me:
    “I…can’
    t…br
    eat
    henana.
    ”(Gr
    andf
    ather
    .)

    Her
    eacheshi
    shandoutt
    ome.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Eat
    .”

    He’
    sref
    err
    ingt
    othegr
    eenl
    eafonhi
    shand.
    ”

    Itakei
    tandthr
    owi ti
    nmymout
    h,it
    sbi
    tt
    ernessmakesmewantt
    ospi
    titout
    .Mybr
    eat
    hinggoes
    backtonor
    mal af
    terIswal
    l
    owi
    t.

    Okol
    i
    e:“
    Prot
    ecther
    .”

    Hedecl
    aresandbegi
    nst
    owal
    koutoft
    her
    oom.

    “
    Randal
    lwakeup.
    ”
    Ij
    oltupt
    othesoundofaf
    ami
    l
    iarv
    oice,
    Igl
    areatAmar
    aasshehol
    dsaconf
    usedl
    ook.

    Amar
    a:“
    Youwer
    ecr
    yingi
    nyoursl
    eep.
    ”

    Shestates.Thedream f
    eltsor eal
    ,Icanst
    il
    ltastethebi t
    ternessinmymout h.Ifeelariseinmy
    stomachandar ushofgullforcingmet or
    unt othebat hroom.Wi thoneviolentcontracti
    on,t
    he
    content
    sofmyst omachgushoutofmymout h.Iclosethet oi
    letseatasIfeelAmar a’shandon
    myshoul der
    ,Iri
    nsemymout hinthesinkbef
    or eIturntomeetherconcer nedexpr essi
    on.

    Ihav
    enocl
    uewhatj
    usthappenedorhowt
    oexpl
    aini
    t.

    MKHI
    ZE*

    Imustsayt
    hatIhavefoundagreatal
    lyt
    ohel
    pmegetmyrev
    enge.I
    ’
    m expect
    inghi
    m any
    minut
    enow,ther
    e’saknockbef
    oreSikawal
    ksint
    omyof
    fi
    ce.

    Si
    ka:
    “Yourguesti
    sher
    e,baba.
    ”(Boss.
    )

    Me:
    “Lethi
    min.
    ”

    Hehesi
    tat
    es,
    hedoesn’
    ttr
    ustmydeci
    sions.

    Si
    ka:
    “Ar
    eyousur
    eaboutt
    hisone?Thel
    astonet
    urnedoutt
    obeasni
    tch.
    ”

    Me:
    “Thi
    sonei
    sdi
    ff
    erentSi
    ka,
    heappr
    oachedmehi
    msel
    f.
    ”

    Si
    ka:
    “Let
    ’shopet
    hathedoesn’
    thav
    ebadi
    ntent
    ions.
    ”

    He’
    sal
    way
    sdoubt
    ful
    .

    Me:
    “Rel
    ax,
    lethi
    min.
    ”

    Hesi
    ghsandopenst
    hedoorf
    ormyguest
    ,Igetupf
    rom myseatandshakehi
    shandashe
    wal
    ksuptome.

    Me:
    “That
    ’saf
    ir
    m one.
    ”

    Ir
    efert
    ohi
    shandshake,
    hegr
    ins.

    Hi
    m:“
    Youshoul
    dknowt
    hatImeanbusi
    ness.
    ”

    Her
    etor
    ts.

    Me:
    “Pl
    ease,
    hav
    easi
    t.
    ”

    Hepul
    l
    sachai
    r.

    Me:
    “Thanky
    ouSi
    ka,
    youcanl
    eav
    eusnow.
    ”

    Henodsandwal
    ksout
    .
    Me:
    “Imustsay
    ,Iwasshockedwheny
    oucameupwi
    tht
    hisof
    fer
    .”

    Hi
    m:“
    Aman’
    sgott
    odo,
    whathe’
    sgott
    odo.
    ”

    Iagr
    ee.

    Me:
    “It
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    obef
    undoi
    ngbusi
    nesswi
    thy
    ou.
    ”

    Hegr
    ins.

    Hi
    m:“
    Idoubti
    t,Iheary
    oucanbeapai
    nint
    heass.
    ”

    Isni
    ggerathi
    sanswer
    .

    Me:
    “Thosear
    ejustr
    umour
    s.”

    Hi
    m:“Remember,wehavedi
    ff
    erentr
    easonwhywear
    edoi
    ngt
    hisandt
    hispar
    tner
    shi
    pdoesnot
    meanthatwear
    efri
    ends.
    ”

    Me:
    “Icompl
    etel
    yunder
    stand.
    ”

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