#292

I headed straight home.

I swear to you if I were to meet anyone who'd step on my toes I'd lash out. Terribly. When I reached
home I went to stand under a cold shower,it cooled me a bit ndaphuma and went to make myself a
snack
... A few minutes I heard a car then a hoot -_- I stood up and checked :)andamhoya tu,he
hooted again I pretended like I didn't hear him wafouna

Me:"Ta Beast"
Him:"I'm outside"
Me:"okay"

He was silent for a minute...I waited

Him:"haibo babe vula kalok"

Me:"ooh,but akhange utsho"
Him:"yho"!

Hm...something was up with him. I opened the gate and waited. He walked in with a Charlie's Cake
Angels bag and handed it over to me as he kissed my cheek

Him:"I didn't know which to take: red velvet or black forest so I took them both"
Me:"thank you"

Wahlala phantsi... Nyhani! Something was up with him,he seemed angry,or tense...or something. I'm
not really sure. So I left him there and went to make him some food. When I was done I took his
food to him in a tray ndamnika watya

Him:"thanks"
Me:"sure"

I got busy on my phone while keeping an eye on the TV coz I wanted him to relax and talk coz
ndiyabona inkulu lento imtyayo.

Him:"ninjani"?
Me:"hm"?
Him:"how's the baby keeping you"?
Me:"oh,we're fine. Unjani wena"?
Him:"good"
Me:"babuya nini Oo Sino "?
Him:" xakuzovulwa izkolo,you miss them"
Me:"yeah"

He ate finish wayobeka isitya sakhe and came back to sit next to me,I looked at him quizzically

Him:"what"?
Me:"really,what is wrong with you today"?
Him:"nothing,I'm just tired"
Me:"just tired huh"
Him:"come here"

I responded to his kiss,his lips were dryer than they looked but fortunately he had fresh breath.
Me:"mmh..u sure u right"
Him:"yes bendkhumbula wena qha"
Me:"i wish I believed you"
Him:"you're just paranoid baby...so,did you go see your dad again"

Immediately my mood changed...I'm sure my face changed too

Him:"and the answer is yes"

Me:"I'd rather not talk about him"
Him:"I uhm... have some news for you"
Me:"in conjunction with what"?
Him:"him"
Me:"I think I know enough about him for now baby. Let's change the subject"
Him:"are y-"
Me:"please"
Him:"okay. So what do we do now"
Me:"you go home,attend to whatever it is that needs your attention. I'll just sit here and eat my
cakes"
Him:"uyandigxotha kengok"
Me:"no I'm permitting you to go. Big difference "
Him:"and if I don't want to go"?
Me:"we'll just sit here and eat cake kalok no problem"
Him:"let's go over to my place and chill there"
Me:"andsonqeni upakisha"
Him:"I'll bring you over late you don't need to pack"
Me:"wena? Undibuyise? That's a first "
Him:"ouch"
Me:"and besides,we're going to the doctor tomorrow so it wouldn't hurt sleeping at your place"
Him:"well you invited yourself for the sleepover,mna ndithe we'll just spend the day...not that I'm
complaining"
Me:"eshe"

I got up and went to pack a few items and medication then I took one cake and packed it in the
fridge,took the second one with us. We locked Luke's house and left in bae's car. Aphendleleni
ndabawela lanyama bendiyitye izolo ko Vince ndamjonga :) I knew he'll say something

Him:"you're staring"
Me:"can we go over to the ShisaNyama "
Him:"you're hungry"?
Me: "no but ndbawela inyama"

Wathula...and changed lanes so he can drive to the place.

Me:"thank you"
Him:"shot"

We drive for a few minutes and got off,I went to a vacant table...he was following slowly behind me.
Some guy,waiter, came to my service I asked for yesterday's special wathi asikho,ndamcenga ba
andenzele I know it was a one day promo thing but wathi akazokwazi and he offered me today's
special. I was upset
Him:"and that face"?
Me:"masambe ayikho lento bendizoyfuna"
Him:"inyama ayikho"?

The guy explained it to him,he asked ba asinike a few minutes so long makandiphathele I cream soda
nyhani la waiter yahamba

Him:"babe"
Me:"I know,can we just go? Sorry I wasted your fuel "
Him:"ndiyabuya"

He left me there and went inside. The guy returned with my soda...after a couple of minutes Ntando
came out with a tray and put it in front of me. My face cracked up :)

Him:"its not fresh ke"

Me:"yho! Doesn't matter. Thank you. How did you get it"?
Him:"u Vince uthi ebezibekele izolo so we kinda had to warm it up"
Me:"enkosi ntwana yam "

He watched me admiringly as I ate...I think I was more drawn by the sauce more than anything.
Halfway I stopped and took a couple of breaths...I then realized I haven't been breathing

Him:"better"?
Me:"much better,awfuni"?
Him:"I'm cool"
Me:"well we can go,I'll finish this in the car "
Him:"uzongcolisa imoto yam with your saucy hands"

I rolled my eyes at him and got up,walked towards his car and I knew he'd follow. Its not like he has a
choice. We drove home I was tired,I went to his bed ndagqibezela ukutya lanyama and cleaned after
myself ndalala. He came up and sat next to me

Him:"u sharp"
Me:"I just wanna take a nap"
Him:"I'll be downstairs "
Me:"mmh"

He left And closed the door...I closed my eyes ndalala.

#293

He woke me up three hours later,I sat up and looked at him,still sleepish

Him:"hay kudala ulele kalok vuka"

Me:"uyahamba"?
Him:''ha.a"

I stretched...yawned and rubbed my eyes. Andiyifuni kele nto ayenzileyo. I don't like being woken
up,never have and probably never will.

Me:"can you give me a few more minutes? please"

Him:"okay"
He lay next to me busy on his phone,I covered my head ndaphinda ndalala. Somehow I was more
tired than I thought. And having him here meant I could rest without worry,I knew I was safe. A
couple more minutes then my phone rang... I searched for it from under my pillow then answered
without checking the called ID

Me:"mh"
Him:"I'm sorry. About everything "

I sat up confused.
I checked my screen...damn! I never gave this dude my number! Faith must have coz Soso would
never do that to me. I took a deep breath,Ntando eyed me

Me:"I thought I made myself perfectly clear last time we spoke"

Him:"you did,but ndicela uxolo anyway. I know I should have told you ngok wam but I couldn't. I'm
sorry"
Me:"should have,could have,would have..I don't care. All I know is I want nothing to do with you or
your family. In fact anyone related to you"
Him:"Sibongile please,I know its not easy finding out you're a child of ra-"
Me:"hold it right there fella! You know nothing! You know what? You're a coward! A selfish
bastardized coward"

Wathula!
I was pumping up...I could feel my cheeks going from pink to blood red ngumsindo.

Me:"you don't get to call me and tell me,ME? That you know its not easy yet it was easy for you to
do what you did and then disappear to God knows where"!
Him:"mntanam ndce-"
Me:"unomtana wena? Umthathaphi?"

Wathula...again.

Me:"don't call me again,if I decided to see you again I'll come to you. If I don't,then move on with
your life"

I hung up and went to the bathroom. Ndabuya and checked messages from my other phone,Ntando
was awfully quiet.

Me:"have you eaten"?

Him:"I was waiting for you...who was that"
Me:"K wakho"

Lol I answered without even thinking about the consequences of the answer :)

Him:"ndino K nah"
Me:"now you know. Let's go downstairs I want some fruit cocktail"

He watched me leave,I reached the kitchen engeka fiki I made myself fruit salad with
icecream,xandizophuma wathi gqi

Him:"so who's child we're y'all talking about"

Me:"there's only one child here"
Ndamshiya and went to the lounge,put my feet up ndatya,Lol I'm sure he was growing some anger
somewhere deep in his belly. Yinton le ikhweletisayo mvanje? Uqale ku Soso now he suddenly
wanna know who I'm talking with on MY phone? Haibo.

Him:"babe"
Me:"hm"
Him:"nguban lo ubuthetha naye"

I looked at him...something fishy is really going with him. My instincts never lie.

Me:"why unje"?
Him:"ndinjani"
Me:"unje! Uyakhweleta,u sensitive,u tense. What's going on here? Are you hiding something from
me"?
Him:"heh haaikengok. Hiding something like what? Why are you changing the subject"?

I studied him...uyaxoka u Ntando une cherry stru'bob!

Me:"I'll find out what you're hiding,rather who you're hiding. She better be ready ke sana coz asoze
ndsokole kangaka ndimithe nomitha kanti ndizogezeleka mna"
Him:"erh I kinda think you're overreacting baby wam"
Me:"for your sake let's hope I'm really overreacting Ntando nyhani coz uyobona into ubungayazi"

Wathula...
Heh mtchana asoze kalok. I've been around. The sudden engagement? The doubt in his friend's
voices when I picked up the call? His mood? Yhu! And I swear ndizombona ubumuncu if he thinks I
won't find out what he's doing. If he's really doing it.

Him:"back to your call"

Me:"mxm ngu malume ka Soso man Iowa "
Him:"oh...uyfumenephi inumber yakho"
Me:'I don't really care"

Waphakama and brought food for us

Me;"I'm not hungry"

Him:"ulibonile ixesha? Oko ubutye inyama kwa Vince"
Me:"now I'm eating fruit that should count for something "
Him:"you know you're eating for two right"

Ndamjamela.

Him:"just reminding you"

My iPhone rang -_- yho tata ka Moses! Yhini yhini zinkosi zam! Umntu no dadwabo in one day?

I picked up the call ndathula qha

Her:"Trina"

Ndathula mna,phof I was eating my fruit

Her:"I know you're listening. Look I'm sorry. It wasn't my place to say anything that's why I wanted
you to meet him before his release so that you can make peace"
Me:"Ndoyisiwe ke nini uyayaz"
Her:"we're a family and all families have their own struggles and problems"
Me:"I've known families to have that one black goat,and then somehow I've only met two members
from your family and both of you are black goats. What does that say about the rest"?

She went silent...

I waited...

Her:"insulting us won't take away the pain you're feeling nor will it erase our blood in your blood
system"
Me:"insulting you? If I started to insult you I promise you wouldn't have reached that sentence
where you mention blood"
Her:"ufuna ndithini ke Trina? I didn't send him to rape your mother! I never asked for him to be a
thug! I understand you're hurting but I'm also hurting okay,I sacrificed my whole life for him and he
threw that back to my face but I still forgave him coz he's my brother and family always sticks
together no matter how bad a person may be"
Me:"I never asked you to rehearse that speech for me,but thank you. I almost felt it,just that I've
been around the block for a while now and I've come to understand one or two things"
Her:"what's that supposed to mean"
Me:"it means get lost. Pretend you never knew me,never saw me. Move on with your lavish life"
Her:"Trina pls"
Me:"I want nothing to do with you or your twisted family. I have enough drama in my life as it is,I
dong need you or your brother to be additional cast members."

I hung up and went to rinse my bowl.

I came back and Ntando was texting...

Me:"pls borrow me your car keys"

Him:"uyaphi"?
Me:"around. I need some air"
Him:"let's rather take a walk. Together"
Me:"leave your phones behind"

He smiled and left the 1 phone he had in his hand, I wore a hoodie then sahamba.

#294

We walked for more than forty five minutes in silence. I had a lot to think about, my life nje was a
mess. You know,though I was angry,I had to look at this on a different angle. I had a father. How
many people out there would kill to have that? It must have been the love I received from the
Smiths coz I didn't feel like a child of rape. Even when my mother was still alive,I never sensed some
regrets or detest towards me. I felt loved throughout entire life. Maybe I needed time to process this
whole thing,maybe I will forgive him and accept that he is part of my life. A huge one that is.

I looked around,we were at some park...I don't know when we left the main road but hey,this was
more relaxing

Me:"I'm tired,can we find a place and sit down"

Him:"there's a bench on your left,behind that bush"

We walked over there and sat down,I had my face between my hands. I took in a couple of breaths
and looked ahead.
Him:"wanna talk it out"
Me:"do you think I was irrational towards him"?
Him:"babe..."
Me:"look,he served his sentence neh? For whatever crimes he committed but he's still my dad.
Right"?
Him:"before I answer... Tell me,what did you find out about him"?
Me:"a lot of things,mainly his crimes phofu. Why"
Him:"and I guess you found out about you,how you came about"
Me:"yes"
Him:"oh-kay... That's all"?
Me:"is there more"?

He didn't answer...I looked at him quizzically.

Me:"Ntando what do you know that I don't know"?

Him:"look babe, this whole thing sounds like a story from an ancient book and somehow it needs
vigilance and wisdom"
Me:"what whole thing"?

He looked more serious than I've ever seen him. I was now scared of what I don't know.

Him:"your dad, he's uhm... He's Gudda's dad too"

Me:"what"!?!
Him:"yeah"

Okay now my mind was going I'm circles. I have a brother who's already a gangsta,I have a father
who was or still is a gangsta, I have a fiancé who is "Thee" gangsta and now what? I have another
brother who's a gangsta? A biological brother? Well half-brother but still. Uligintsa naye!

Me:"does he know that we somewhat share a father"?

Him:"he does now,he was there when Ranger was doing the research and I got some things from
him"
Me:"this is some deep ish"

I closed my eyes...

Me:"I need to speak to Marcus"

Him:"sure,I'll go find something to eat"

I nod and took out my phone,dialed Marc and waited in anticipation

Him:"look who remembered she has a big brother"

Me:"hey. Hoe gaan dit "?
Him:" goed, you don't sound too lekker what's up"
Me:"I need you. Can you come to Jo'burg "?
Him:" hey,what's wrong? Tee"?

I swallowed a lump in my throat.

Him:"Trinalique Smith "

Me:"I just need someone to talk to"
Him:"okay,but I thought your boyfriend is that side"
Me:"he is"
Him:"or did you guys fight"
Me:"no"

He was silent for a minute...

Him:"okay,I'll come down tomorrow midday"

Me:"thank you"
Him:"keep strong"
Me:"ayt"

We hung up.
Soso called... I hesitated a bit but realized that I owed him. He was on my corner when his family
wasn't.

Me:"mpintsham"
Him:"gcwala! U sharp"
Me:"grand mtchana wena"
Him:"ndi sharp mfethu, I'm just checking on you"
Me:"ndi grand san"
Him:"okay ke "
Me:"thanks for everything."
Him:"always pleasure"
Me:"sharp"

We hung up,Ntando returned with a Chicken licken bag,water and a bunch of bananas :) Lol I
needed the water more than the food.

Me:"so this is dinner huh"?

Him:"I don't think we'll get to cook anything today"
Me;"enkosi"

I took a banana and drank half the bottle.

Me:"I'm going home straight after the doctor's appointment neh"

Him:"okay,you're brother's coming over"?
Me: "yes"
Him:"sho"

He ate in silence. His phone rang,he rejected the call quickly,I ignored that as if I didn't see it. Maybe
it wasn't as important. It rang again,he rejected it again. Then kwangena I text... Ndamjonga nje. I
guess I was dumb to think he'd leave all his phones behind. Ushiye le ebeyiphethe wemka nezi
bezisepokothweni

Me:"we've walked enough. Masigoduke"

He was busy texting back whosoever texted him... Ndaphakama and walked towards home,bumping
onto Chloe I just walked passed her. He came behind me

Him:"undishiyeleni"
Me:"you were busy on your phone"
Him:"iyakhweleta leh"
Me:"nyhani"?
Him:"oh cummon babe"
Me:"let's just go home and rest,I feel tired. Emotionally"

Wathula.
Thank God,coz I was losing my talking-mood already.

295

Following Day

I woke up early and prepared for our appointment with u doctor, I didn't wake him up coz he also
kinda needed the rest.

I went to make myself muesli with plain yoghurt and tucked in,then I cooked oats for him and as
soon as I finished dishing up, He came down dressed already and somehow we matched. I was
surprised he added a bit of color to his attire coz I had all black with Blue and white Adidas kicks,he
obviously had on all black just with a blue muscle hugging v-neck T-shirt

Me:"semhle"
I kissed his cheek ndamnika kutya kwakhe and left him

Him:"enkosi"

He followed watya as I busied myself on my phone.

Him:"babe"
Me:"mh"?
Him:"something needs my attention in East London so ndizojika no Mo xa ezise u Marcus"
Me:"uzobuya nini"?
Him:"ndizoza I'm not sure okwangoku but ndzoqala e Kapa"
Me: "kay"

He ate up,we headed to the doctor and had my examination done. He asked his questions, received
his answers then I was given a new date and ofcoz new meds then we headed back to his crib
ndiyothatha impahla zam after that he took me home and went to wait for Mo somewhere else
while I waited in anticipation for my brother.

Two hours later Marc arrived,I received a text from bae ba he's gone.
Wafika u Marcus sancokola njee for a while

Him:"okay,why am I here? I'm sure its not just for some pep talk"

Here goes...

Me:"okay,firstly,I am pregnant. Don't say it,I know. Secondly,I'm engaged. Thirdly,I have found my
uhm,father who somehow happens to be Gudda's dad too "

Cwaka sana u mntase khaya.

Me:"well...say something "

Him:"he's marrying you? Are you sure its what you want"?
Me:"I don't know"
Him:"but you have his ring on your finger? Really"

Now was my turn to be quiet...

Him:"so bra Bongs is your dad"
Me:"you...know him"?
Him:"heard of him. Yho! This is not good"
Me;"tell me about it. Oh and on top of that,I found out that I'm a rape child"

He looked at me

Him:"you mean your mother was raped? She conceived you out of rape"
Me:"uh yep"!
Him:"yho"

We sat in silence.
I went to drink water,I thought Marc would have all the answers as usual but today he seemed out
of his league. I came back and sat down

Him:"are you okay? In all of this"?

Me:"I don't know anymore. I want to be okay,I want to accept things the way they are coz I can't
change them but its hard"
Him:"I know...come here"

I moved closer and we hugged.

Now I felt the need to cry. Heee! I let loose,my eyes balled out everything inside those sockets until I
felt free and light I moved away from Marc and cleaned myself up

Him:"I'm sorry you have to go through all of this,but this is how we grow. We learn from these
things"
Me:"yeah"
Him:"what I can tell you is that give yourself time. It might not look like it now but eventually you
will forgive him. And hey,look on the bright side. You have a third brother "
Me:"who also happens to be a gangsta. No offense intended"
Him:"no taken. Well you are surrounded by thugs...how did that happen"!?!
Me:"you can ask that again...I don't know man,I seem to be attracting a lot more drama than any of
you guys"
Him:"don't mention that,its hectic out there. Atleast Evelyn seems to have settled"
Me:"yeah, thanks to the Royal family "

Wahleka...
We cooked and had lunch and supper together coz the following day he was going back to CT.
Uyigqibile ebezoyenza. Luu came by to give me grocery money before Marc left then he went back
to his new house with his newly pregnant wife. Marc gave me pocket and fuel money which I tried to
refused and he just told me that until I'm officially a Ntabeni I'm still his responsibility so yeah I took
that money

-
THREE MONTHS DOWN

School was surprisingly easy this year. I had few classes to attend which made me bond with my
bundle more often. I hadn't heard from Faith or his brother since early January and I was glad. Life
had to go on. So now I was on my blessed forth month and a week or two in this pregnancy so I
really had hope that I will reach la six months and beyond,as long as I follow doctors orders and most
importantly pray to God.
On a Friday we went to an expo at Legal Wise in prep for the upcoming internship at the end of the
year and I was sold! Period! I wanted to be part of that program so bad and I knew with just a Lil bit
of determination I had a big chance in being selected among other students. When we came back I
was tired AF but I missed my niqqa lawei...

I ran myself a bath and soaked myself in then called him...

Him:''Lil miss Smith "

Me:"ntate,how are you "
Him:"I'm great,how's my baby"
Me:"we're fine,just missing you"
Him:"really"?
Me:"hah! Whatchu mean really"?
Him:"well...babe cummon"

I exhaled.
No,like I perfectly understand where he's coming from.

Me:"I guess I deserve that"

Him:"u Gudda ukufumene"?

Okay. Subject changed.

Me:"ebendifuna phi"?
Him:"ulapho e Jo'burg uze ku tatakhe"
Me:"mna ndingena phi kengok "
Him:"you're asking the wrong person"
Me:"kay"

Well what I called to say was dismissed so why not just hang up?

Me:"I uhm,have to go"

Him:"when is your doctor's appointment "?
Me:" its in two months,I'll text you the exact date"
Him:"two months uzobe ukwi six months mos"
Me:"yes"
Him:"sure,I have a trip coming up and u Sino wants to spend the upcoming June holiday with you"
Me:"oh"
Him:"are you up for it"?
Me:"khamcele aze ngo December torho"
Him:"oh okay sure ke"
Me:"sharp "

I hung up.

#296

I bathed finish then went to make myself a fruit smoothie before attempting on doing my
homework. Whilst busy,I heard a hooting car outside and looked through the visual intercom I only
saw a black car so being a thug's fiancé I knew how dangerous it was to just open up to strange cars.
The car hooted again I just didn't mind it,I knew if it was anyone serious s/he'll call and right then,my
phone rang
Me:"low"
Him:"hey,ndim Gudda can you open the gate"
Me:"kay"

I opened the gate for him and then in a matter of seconds he walked in,looking so much in distress
than I actually thought he would be

Him:"molo"
Me:"eweke"

He sat down nervously

Me:''should I make you anything to drink? Eat"?

Him:"water will be fine thanks"

I went to fetch him a bottle of cold water ndamnika and sat down waiting...he drank a couple of
gulps down then he lifted his eyes and looked at me. Concerned.

Him:"few months back I found out we're half-siblings"

Me:"yeah"
Him:"funny how life works. Zange apha ebomini ndicingele ba you'd be my sister or I'd have a sister
as a matter of fact. Yes I knew there's a high possibility that dad could have more than one children I
just didn't think one of them could be this close"

I didn't know what to say...

Me:"you grew up with him"?

Him:"yes. Along with my two younger brothers"
Me:"you have brothers? Baphi"?
Him:"they study overseas thanks to your boyfriend "

Whoa wait.
Ntando knows Gudda has brothers? Bafundiswa nguye? Then how come he didn't know Gudda's
dad? Ooooh wait... Maybe he did know Gudda's dad qha ebengafuni ukutsho kum! Damn! But
shame man,he never said he doesn't know him. Ndiyamtyhola ngoku.

Me:"that's kind of him. Where's your mother"?

Him:"PE,she lives there"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"look,I know you also didn't expect any of this but dad is on the verge of being released this
month and he'd like us all to start afresh"
Me:"I'm certain you can start afresh without me,I mean,your family is complete already"
Him:"but now you're part of it too"
Me:"I'm sorry Gudda but I don't think I want to"
Him:"Tee please"
Me;"what's your real name,by the way"?
Him:"Ayabonga"
Me:"Aya,I don't mean to be insultive or insensitive but I don't think I can be part of your family. Your
father,is your father. I buried my own father"

He kept quiet for a long time.

Me:"I'm sure nonwabile now that he's coming back"
Him:"ikhona lanto kuthwa yi second chance mfethu"
Me:"I know"
Him:"then mnike,just get to know him. Get to know us"
Me:"yaz bra,akho nto indenza confused more than having Soso as my cousin and you as my brother
you know? And then on top of it all,Marcus is still my brother"
Him:"the Titus kid? He doesn't even know we're cousins. Babese muncu ugqibela kwethu kokwabo"
Me:"yet you've seen him e Kapa,awthethi "
Him:"we were never a close family. Umamakhe lives to please her husband,I tell it like it is so
akandiginyi ncam"
Me:"hm. It's like Ntando is running some sort of shelter for this dysfunctional family of mine. He
must be a hero"
Him:"he had a difficult upbringing and it has humbled him. He's a good man,with a good heart If you
obey him"
Me:"and you do look obedient "
Him:"I try. I've seen his bad side so I try to keep in my lane at all times"
Me:"you speak so heroic of him. Does your father know you're associated with him? That you're also
a gangsta "?

He chuckled.

Him:" he knows,he's not happy about it but he knows"

Me:"I wouldn't want my child leading this kinda life"
Him:"we wouldn't either,that's why we save up every cent for the future"

I looked at him,I've never seen Gudda in this light. He was different from the Gudda I know

Me:"do you have a family of your own"?

Him:"two sons in a six years of a relationship "
Me:"wow,why don't you just marry her"?
Him:"we married in court,just that her family doesn't like me"
Me:"so they won't accept lobola"
Him:"yeah"

Haha typical.
It felt right to also open to him

Me:"since we're sharing,your boss proposed"

I showed him my hand. He smiled.

Him:"he's a good man,though I wouldn't have wanted any of my family to be in this but
asinobasayithini coz he's mad about you"
Me:"wish I could change him"
Him:"don't,many have tried. Just love him for who he is. And learn to listen to him,I noticed that's a
weakness you have"

I laughed. That's true

Me:"well thanks for the advice. It might not be a bad idea having an additional brother after all"
Him:"just find a place to forgive your father. I know awunangxaki nam"
Me:"let's not push it,one step at a time"
Him:"fair enough. Can I treat you to early dinner then"?
Me:"if sizotya inyama then I don't mind"
Him:"ayt then,get your shoes"

:)

I went to wear pumps and a coat then we drove out in his car to some pub and grill downtown, I
don't know why I trusted him so easily. Maybe its because he's also one of Ntando's men? I don't
really know. We had a few laughs over dinner then he drove me home and went his way. Once alone
at home,I missed Ntando so much it hurt but I wasn't gonna call him again. I changed into PJs and
tucked myself in bed with my laptop and movies. Nearing midnight, he called.

Me:"hm"?
Him:"ulele"?
Me:"no I'm just finishing off a movie,sup "?
Him:"ndiyakukhumbula"

I swear my heart smiled...

Me:"ndiyakukhumbula nam"
Him:"I'm serious ke yaz"
Me:"ndi serious nam nje baby"
Him:"worse this bed suddenly became a Lil too big for me"
Me:"how's the weather"
Him:"worse"
Me:"maybe that's why you miss me,you miss the cuddling more than the person"
Him:"nguwe umntu we cuddling mna ndikhumbula wena"
Me:"mmh you know where to find me "
Him:"if I could I swear I'd come ngoku,don't quote me on this but I even long to hear your moans,
your soft cries of ecstasy "
Me:"babe don't. I don't have a spare you here kalok"
Him:"nam nje,I'm just tryna draw this picture for you"
Me:"I know"
Him:"pity I can't ask what you're wearing coz you have to keep my baby warm"
Me:" ewe kalok awukho wena with your kisses and warm hands to rub my stomach and lower..to
warmth"
Him:"yho"
Me:"heee wakhuza kodwa undiqale ndizihlele"
Him:"ungumntu owayethathwaphi babe"?
Me:"why d'you wanna know? Can't find anyone with a body as hot,sexy and real as I am"?
Him:"haven't found anyone who keeps me awake at night not only thinking about making love to
her but just simply thinking about her"
Me:"mmh I guess I'm the lucky one mos,to have you thinking about me,randomly? Kodwa ke I'm
your fiancé so vele umelwe ku ndicinga "

He chuckled, heartfelt.

Him:"you've turned me into a hopeless romantic"

Me:"I'm glad,and I proudly take all credit"
Him:"yeah whatever,lala ngoku my child needs to rest"
Me:"ulele ngoku lomntana wakho. Lala nawe"
Him:"ndiyalala fondin. Kule bed ivele yankulu miraculously "
Me:"hahaha I love you vha"
Him:"ndiyaqina ngawe"

We hung up.
I knew I was gonna have the sweetest dreams ever. Having Ntando to confess like that takes a lot
more than you think

297

A week later my dad was released from prison,actually a day before his release he called to inform
me ndathi okay. I had nothing else to say to him. Yet.

Faith and her husband came to fetch him baya naye eMonti bamenzela yonkinto. I called a call from
Gudda three days later...

Me:"bhut' Aya "

Him:"heee! Wow, unjani"
Me:"I'm cool wena"
Him:"I'm good,I guess you know dad is out"
Me:"yep,he called me"
Him:"oh great,so niyathetha"?
Me:"no"

He became silent for a minute.

Him:"well I wanted to inform you that he has called a family meeting for month end"
Me:"iyani kalok"
Him:"including you"
Me:"Gudda please. Khanimeni I have a lot on plate I can't deal with him right now,makandilinde
ndibe right then maybe I'll come around eventually "
Him:"okay okay,I'm sorry"
Me:"yho"
Him:"I don't mean to put pressure on you okay"
Me:"yeah whatever "
Him:"I'll call you some other time"
Me:"sharp"

He hung up.
Yhu!

So when Ntando said he has an upcoming trip he meant a trip to Malawi. And somehow the trip had
to be now of all times,and all I had to do as usual was to understand his line of business. He was
gone for those two whole months and came back for two weeks,one in which we were going to go
for an appointment with the gynecologist. He landed in Jozi on the exact appointment day and came
straight to the doctor's office coz mna ndiziyele since I thought he wouldn't be coming and ufike
sendizogqiba

Him:"I'm sorry I'm late,hey"

We looked up,the doctor and I,u Chetty wamncumela I just looked at him.

Doc:"you're in time for the sonar Mr Ntabeni "

Him:"oh good"
He sat down and watched,somehow my baby was growing immaculately despite what the doctors
said. When they were done showing each other what was what, I got dressed and sat on the bed

Me:"so what do we do now"

Doc:"we give you another month,your womb seems to be gracious despite our fears. But,you'll have
fortnight checkups now"
Me:"like,every second week I have a check up"?
Doc: "yes. Please lift your arm"

He removed the pressure stick and conducted her report

Doc:"I'll be back in a moment"

Me:"sure"

She left us. I wore my sneakers,gloves and beanie coz it was wintery.

Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"Ntando"
Him:"I'm sorry I was late okay"
Me:"I heard you the first time"
Him:"then utshintshele ntoni"?
Me:"am I supposed to crack up noba akho need"?
Him:"heh! I've been gone for what,two months? And this is a welcome I get"?
Me:"I'm sure you didn't expect a bunch of roses and a chocolate bar though"

Wathula. I sat on the same position and texted Soso ba the baby is fine,he responded nge call :)

Me:"hey"
Him:"hey,got your message. So does it mean you're not having a caesarean section ngoku"?
Me:"for now no"
Him:"thank God! Unjani wena"?
Me:"I'm relieved yho,you have no idea"
Him:"I can only imagine. Mamela ke I'm coming to Jo'burg next week u Lindo uza kwi tournament ye
hockey"

Doctor Chetty walked back in...I don't know what she was saying ku Ntando but he signed something

Me:"ooh okay"
Him:"you owe me lunch"
Me:"for ntoni ngoku"
Him:"just for being Soso"
Me:"heee! Okay,we'll talk xasele ulapha"
Him:"okay bye"
Me:"sure"

I hung up and looked at Ntando

Me:"yinton le buyi signa "?

Him:" something about le operation yakho. If it comes to that"
Me:"operation? Why izofuna i signature yakho kengok kodwa ndim umntu ozosikwa"?
Him:"I'm the father of the baby,remember? It concerns me too"

I just rolled my eyes.

Doc:"okay we're done for the day, when you come back in two weeks I'll have your blood tests ready
Ms Smith"
Me:"thank you so much"
Doc:"pleasure"

We walked out,settled the bill and I went to my car he just watched me with his hands on his waist

Him:"so that's how its gonna be now"?

I got inside and lowered the window

Me:"well I'm going home,unless you wanted to take me out for lunch"
Him:"oh uyayifuna yona ilunch kodwa you're ignoring me"
Me:"andizongayifuni ilunch baby,oh by the way if you are taking me for lunch pls fill up my fuel tank"

He looked at me amazed,I saw him shaking his head as he walked closer to my car and leaned over
sajongana

Him:"so awnayo ne petrol phezukwale yoba ufuna ndikukhuphe"?

Me:"correction,ndinayo ipetrol but it won't be enough to drive around njee. Otherwise izofika
endlini and take me to school na ngomso"
Him:"I don't know why I bother"
Me:"uthanda idrama,that's your problem"

He transfered money into my account,my phone beeped I smiled and looked at him

Me:"andazi ke noba yeye fuel okanye yeye lunch"?

Him:"uske wathini nah S'bongile wah sarcastic namhlanje"
Me:"am I"?

He looked at me...la cold look indenza ndigodole namathumbu

Him:"fill up your tank and meet me at John Dory's "

Me:"sea food is not right for umntana,he could contact polio"
Him:"steak and ribs are worse"
Me:"worse? Hay hay red meat is not sickness related in anyway"
Him:"obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes. Should I continue "?

Ndamjamela nje

Him:" John Dory's "

Then he left...I went to fill up my tank ndahamba ndaya kulo JD wakhewakhe ndafika sephaya

Me:"have you ordered yet"?

Him:"no"

I lifted my hand and a waitress came to attend to us

Him:"double platter on today's special"

Me:"extra large fries and appetizer "

She took notes and left

Me: "so,how's Malawi"

Hahaha! Mxm.
He studied me. I don't know why he does that

Him:"business as usual"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"unjani wena "
Me:"I'm good"
Him:"how good"
Me:"very good especially now that I can carry my baby another month AND I've been accepted as an
intern kwa Legal Wise "
Him:"really? So when do you begin"
Me:"November "
Him:"uzawube sewbelekile by then,so what are you deciding ngomntana"?
Me:"oh that"
Him:"yes that"

Our food came ndatya chips zam,I was serious. I'm not eating any sea foods while pregnant I don't
care whether its a truth or a myth. My phone rang,I looked at him. It was Kuhle and normally they
call when they're in deep shit

Me:"I have to take this,sorry"

Him:"take it kalok"
..
Me:"hey"
Him:"hey,how are you"
Me:"I'm great sani wena"
Him:"I'm great,when were you planning on telling us"?
Me:"telling you what"?
Him:"that you're pregnant, and engaged "
Me:"heee! It slipped my mind,I'm sorry"
Him:"mh,so when is the baby due"?
Me:"in about two to three months"
Him:"well I'll be there with his first car,zomthengela I range efana neka tatakhe"
Me:"haha but uzoyikhwela njani na fondin"
Him:"izomlinda tchin "
Me:"well thank you,but...I have to go"
Him:"heee! I called you"
Me:"I know,but andfunuphelelwa ngumzi ungekaqali fondin"
Him:"ooh you're with the big guy "
Me:"yep"
Him:"khamnike iphone khendimgezele"

I looked at Ntando ndamnika,he looked at the screen and a smiled crept out of the corners of his
mouth. As they were talking,I was eating. Bagqiba uthetha he returned my phone

Him:"I'm still waiting"

Me:"on what"
Him:"now that you'll be working,uzomthini umntana "?
Me:" is your offer still standing"?
Him:"ewe"
Me:"I'll take you up on it"
Him:"good decision"
Me:"eshe"
Him:"what changed your mind,if I may ask"
Me:"my life"
Him:"your life"?
Me:"I don't want my child to experience even a quarter of what I experienced in life,generally so it
will be better if ukhulela kum"
Him:"I hear you,have you seen your father yet"
Me:"no"
Him:"baby"
Me:"ha,a Ntando,don't go there. I'm dealing with this the best way I know right now I don't need
pressure. Please"

He ate up. In silence.

#298

When he was done we just sat there

Him:"I know Gudda told you about his brothers who are living abroad"
Me:"yeah"
Him:"I know you prolly think I knew about your dad,well partly I did qha bendingamaz ba ngu
tatakho nawe"
Me:"you don't have to explain, I knew somehow soze ungamazi so I decided not to ask you anything.
I respect your business ethics"
Him:"yho,and here I thought ucaphukiswe yilonto"
Me:"Ntando I've grown,for this short while. I just don't know how we'll separate business with
family when I have my brothers working with you"
Him:"they know how this business works"
Me:"then I guess we won't have problems ke xa utshoyo,I just don't wanna be involved naxa seku
bad ke mntaka malume"

Wandijonga akathetha

Me:"uhamba nini apha"?

Him:"sendikudikile nah fondin"
Me:"no man,I just wanna spend time with you qha andifuni ukubambezela if ungxamile"
Him:"masambe ke syobeka imoto yakho then we'll go back to the apartment in my car"

I got up...andi understand why ku funeka ndiqale ndcele when I wanna spend time with him. But
hey,I'm getting what I want anyway.

We drove to my home,I parked the car in the garage then I went inside and packed a weekend bag
though I didn't really know how long he'll be here then ndaphuma and went to him in his car

Him:"a weekend bag"?

Me:"bendikubuzile uhamba nini awandiphendula "

I put it next to me at the back passenger seat, sahamba. Safika kwakhe kukho two guys waiting at
the door
Me:"who are those people"
Him:"I don't know,just stay close"

We staying close I did,I held his hand and his other hand was carrying my bag as we walked towards
the door

Him:"sure gents"
Guy:"sure ta, sithunywe kuwe ta"
Him:"nguban"?
Guy:"ngu Bra Bongs"

He looked at me

Him:"okay"

He opened the door sangena sonke I went to put my bag upstairs he attended to these guys ndithe
xandbuya abasekho

Me:"your guests gone already "?

Him:"yeah,I need to take a quick shower"
Me:"sure"

He went upstairs to shower,I sat on the couch and searched the TV for something watchable until he
came back wearing shorts and sandals,carrying his T-shirt.

Him:"baby I have to dash for an hour or even less yabo? Ndizobuya gou-gou"
Me:"hay kodwa Ntando fondin ndize kuwe apha"
Him:"I know, ndiyosabela kalok ndibizwa ngumntu omdala"
Me:"ufuna nton kuwe lotata? Khona ebengayanga Monti nah "?
Him:" I thought we don't talk about business even if it involves family"

Ndathula.
There was nothing I could say that will change his mind,makenze ke. He sat down and looked at me,I
looked at the TV

Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"baby"
Him:"ndiyosabela qha then ndibuye"
Me:"hamba kalok"
Him:"ndingabuyi uhambile ke apha"
Me:"andimuncwanga Ntando"
Him:"akhanditsho ba umuncu I'm just saying ndibuye usekhona"

Ndathula mna still. He got up,took his car keys and left. I got up and went to take sour worms from
my bag and dialed Gudda, it rang once and he picked up

Him:"Lil sis"
Me:"hey,unjani"
Him:"I'm good unjani wena"
Me:"not so good,I hear your dad is here"
Him:"erh,about that..."
Me:"wait,you knew"?
Him:"yes. He wants to meet ta Beast that's all"
Me:"meet him? In connection with what"?
Him:"well I'm sorry,I can't say"
Me:"Gudda please"
Him:"Tee,don't get involved and don't even think of asking ta Beast. If he wanna tell you he
will,don't nag him about it. For your own good "

Mxm.
So much for being a caring brother!

Me:"sharp"
Him:"I love you okay"
Me:"mxm bye bye"

Wahleka -_- nton ehlekisayo? I had no choice but to wait for Ntando and in that process I had to
make Gudda's advice useful. I couldn't wait up for le chap I somehow fell asleep on that couch with
the TV still playing and some time later i felt him covering my legs with a blankie i opened my eyes

Me:"hey,you're back"
Him:"ndikuvusile"?

I shook my head and just turned to face the other way,ndaphinda ndalala. Must have been the tests
kwa gqirha that got me so tired. I slept until midday :v I'm real good. When I woke up,I could hear
some other voices inside the house.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes then I went upstairs, it was time to drink one of the pills..the most bitter
of em all. Then I went to the bathroom ndabuya ndehla I wanted fruit xandfika Ranger and Gudda
were there,eating.

Me:"Molweni"
Them:"sure"

I went to the kitchen and took two bananas and a glass of water xandizophuma,ta Beast walked in
and held my waist. I didn't even give him a chance to speak,I locked lips with him I heard him groan
deeply. I drank in that hungry manly sound,he wrapped his arms tighter and pulled me closer to
himself. I knew I've been driving him crazy lately with my never settling moods. He bent his head and
took my mouth,drinking in my sigh of surrender as he caught my upper lip, sucking it gently making
me moan from the depths of my throat as he even went further to spear his tongue inside. He
somehow managed to take over,he was now controlling this moment that I found myself moaning
some more,pressed my body on his, forgetting that there's his guys e lounge. I broke free and looked
at him

Him:"don't do that,come here"

Me:"behave,you have visitors"

I kissed his cheek and left him still holding his lips ndayohlala elounge with the others though I didn't
even converse much coz I was on WhatsApp most of the time

"For a pregnant woman,you look too beautiful"

I looked up... Gudda was smiling at me,Ntando walked in and sat next to me

Me:"hm"?
Him:"you're too beautiful for a pregnant woman"
Me:"beautiful? You're just saying that"
Him:"why would I lie"?
Me:"I don't know,why do men lie"?

Ranger wahleka...

Range:"no no no let's rephrase that question,why do people lie "?

Me:"haike andiyaz"
Gud:"you don't lie"?
Me:"no"

Ntando coughed :v I nudged him with my elbow kwahlekwa wonke umntu

Me:"okay okay,maybe I do lie. But only When I feel it's necessary "
Range:"so you do lie"
Me:"Ranger don't "
Range:"haha! Kalok I wanna make sure I heard you properly "

We had some nice time before they decided to leave us in peace. Ntando locked,Lol kuse early,past
six then he closed all curtains and windows.
He came to sit next to me,kissing my neck...

Him:"masigqibezele lanto besiyenza kalok babe"

I looked at him ndaphela yintsini! Really?

Me:"let's rather cook supper,my baby is getting hungry"

Him:"you just had two bananas I'm sure he'll survive a few minutes"

I touched his face and kissed him once more,he must have been craving it these past few months so
why deprive him of his goods?

#299

We kissed,he lifted me up and carried me up the stairs to our room,there he undressed me bit by bit
throwing my clothes on the floor and making sure that each and every reachable part is not left
without notice.

Me:"babe"

He kissed my lips,opening em a Lil just to gain excess inside. I accepted his invitation and went along
with his enthusiasm. It must have been the long time of drought coz it felt so good,like the first time
back in CT. After a couple of minutes we lay next to each other,he was heaving for breath. I just
wanted to cuddle. I gave him a few minutes to catch his breath then I moved closer and lay my head
on his chest,kissing him before closing my eyes and drinking in this magnificent scent through my
nostrils. I was satisfied. Through and through. He kissed my forehead and drew me even closer,I
wasn't sleepy but I felt that he wanted to sleep

Me:"I love you"

Him:"hm"?
Me:"I love you, for real"
him:"I love you too,lets sleep baby"
Me:"andozeli mna"
Cwaka...

Me:"ulele"?

Lol Ntando walala sana,I drew sweet nothings on his chest. Then ndadinwa and got up ndazenzela
igreen tea and took rusks then I walked back upstairs ndisitya fika iphone yam ikhala I put the cup
down and picked up the call

Me:"mmlow"?
Him:"hi. Please don't hang up"
Me:"erh,who am I speaking to"?
Him:"ndim uta- ndim u Bonginkosi "
Me:"oh"
Him:"can we talk? Please"
Me:"about what"
Him:"S'bongile ndcela uxolo again and I'll probably keep asking for your forgiveness until you forgive
me "

I put the saucer with rusks down,got in bed and covered my lower body supporting my back with
two pillows

Me:"I don't know what you want from me"

Him:"I might not deserve to say this but you're my daughter. My only daughter"
Me:"so far"
Him:"well so far, I want to have a relationship with you. Get to know you and be involved in your
life"
Me:"be involved in my life? How"?
Him:"I don't know anything about you so I just want an opportunity to get to know you, I've heard
ngo Ayabonga you're a good person"
Me:"so niyand discusser ngoku"?
Him:"no,besincokola and you came up"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"so can we meet? While I'm still around"
Me:"I don't know,I'll see"
Him:"okay ke,you'll call me kule number when you make a decision"
Me:"sure"
Him:"have a goodnight"
Me:"thanks"

I hung up ndagqibezela iirusks zam.

I was busy browsing on my tablet when I noticed that Anelisa was in town,I kinda guessed une ndoda
entsha ke coz she's way too Dependant on men. Its in her nature,I liked that status and browsed
through... Saw amanda's post about her engagement to X :o . when I was tired of all of this
browsing I put the phones aside ndazama ulala kwaske kwakhala iphone ka Ntando, I checked the
caller first and answered

Me:"Ranger"
Him:"hey,uphi u bruh"?
Me:"ulele,should I take a message or ndimvuse"?
Him:"ndcela umvuse mfethu"
I shook him a bit,he opened one eye ndamnika iphone yakhe

Him:"hm"?
Range:"grootman,we're in deep shit. U Blaq-Mamba ulapha"

Waxhuma loh ebhedini...

Him:"what the fuck does this niqqa want from me now"

Range:"bruh,he's with four other guys they're pacing outside. Two in the backyard and two with him
efront"
Him:"kay ndiyeza"
Range:"sho ta"

Waphakama and got dressed, I watched coz I knew not to ask. His facial expression said a lot nje on
its own. He bent under the bed and removed a rusty briefcase wayivula and removed two loaded
pistols,a packet of spikes and explosives then lastly a machete. Okay I was scared neh,but ndoyika
nophoxwa if I asked kwenzeka ntoni. When he was done he sat down and called his guys from
Soweto to "help" him,as he said then wabeka iphone and looked at me. I was cuddled up in my
corner just looking at him...

Him:"come lock up,I'll be back before midnight"

Me:"kay"

He must have noticed ba ndiyoyika coz once we were downstairs he turned and cupped my face
then kissed me,I felt some heat in my belly maybe it was fear I don't know

Him:"I love you,uyayaz lonto right"?

I nod
Him:"good,if you notice anything weird while I'm gone send me a text. Don't call neh? I'll call you"
Me:"so you're telling me I could be in danger"?
Him:"I'm not sure at the moment but,keep your ears on the ground"

I nod and kissed him,for a sec then he left,I locked up and went back upstairs where I received a text
from Gudda so I texted him back

Me:"am I also in danger"?

Him:"we're all in danger,ungalali just keep awake until he comes back"
Me:"uyandoyikisa fondin"
Him:"I know,but that's the reality of our lives. But right now,don't think about that,hlala in one place
and keep alert vha"
Me:"sho"

I put my phone aside.

I kept wondering why is it that when I'm pregnant with his child kwasoloko kusenzeka ezizinto? I was
close to delivery when Chuma wanted to burn me with the house,now this again? Killa is dead for
sure but his people are not dead. A gangsta never keeps one team,he's got niqqa all around the
universe if ke he's as sophisticated as ta Beast. But what if ayingo Killa? What if ngu tata ka Gudda? I
don't trust that guy! But why would he put his son's life in danger? Just this wondering was driving
me nuts. I took Ntando's laptop and opened it,password hasn't changed then I went through the non
private stuff just to keep myself from sleeping. After an hour and a half he called...yho my heart
almost jumped out of my chest
Me:"baby? Are you okay"?
Him:"hey relax I'm fine,I'm on my way back. Can you get me the first aid kit uyibeke elounge"
Me:"oh kay"
Him:"and then fix up the spare room asseblief"
Me:"okay"
Him:"sharp"

I went to fix up the spare room which had two double beds,then I took the first aid kit ndayibeka
elounge and waited for a knock. The knock only came after thirty full minutes ndavula bangena,
Ranger had a wound on his left shoulder so Gudda nursed it and bandaged it banyuka bayolala. I
went upstairs too,I felt nausea,must have been the sight and smell of blood nyhani when I was about
to get in bed,I felt all the food coming up I ran to the bathroom,bumping onto Ntando coming out
ebevasa. I knelt in front of the toilet seat and out came everything. He walked back in and gave me a
glass of water,I rinsed my mouth ndaphakama ndayolala

Him:"u sharp"?
Me:"yeah,goodnight"
Him:''night"

I covered myself ndalala,he got busy on his laptop I don't know until when but when I woke up the
following morning...he wasn't in bed. I was hungry neh,but I went to brush my teeth and wash my
face right after I had made the bed then I walked downstairs yho ndafika elounge kugcwele kuthe
qhu! I just greeted and went to make myself food e kitchen then my newly found brother walked in

Him:"hey"
Me:"hey"
Him:"did you sleep well"?
Me:"yeah,Nina"?
Him:"nathi"
Me:"besenityile"?
Him:"ha.a but we're still in a meeting and kusekho abezayo from the Cape "
Me:"yho,so anizotya until bafike"?
Him:"if uzosenzela singatya I'm sure the big guy won't mind,if nawe you don't mind"

Ndamjonga, akamcume :v I just smiled ndabe sendisitya I oatmeal breakfast yam with plain
yoghurt

Me:"rephrase what you just said"

Him:"will you please make us breakfast "
Me:"very good,into endingazoyenza inye kuba yi waitress yenu ke mna"
Him:"no don't worry about that,we'll sort ourselves out"
Me:"sharp,nizolinda coz I have to take a quick shower before that"
Him:"no problem"

I smiled and walked out,back upstairs where I finished my breakfast and then took a
shower,ndanxiba an oversized white T-shirt with black track pants and slippers then I went to make
okukutya. Seeing that baninzi I had to think wisely otherwise kuzophela ukutya kuka Ntando
ebengakhange akongeze ke futhi...coz his fridge was almost empty. How do you make breakfast
without eggs? I took a sticky note pad and wrote down everything I needed then texted Gudda again
weza e kitchen followed by the man of the house
Him:"kuthen namane nidibanela e kitchen lam,nine side meetings ngoku Gudda"?
Gud:"heeeh"!
Me:"babe ndcela unike u Gudda imali there's some things I need him to buy for me "
Him:"oh,malini"?
Me:"I don't know...a grand maybe"

Wakhupha I card wamnika then he kissed me waphindela elounge.

Gud:"so what do you need"?

I gave him the note wahamba so so long I started on chicken livers with caramelized onions
zaninzi,after that I grilled sausage then I had to wait for Gudda to come back with other things I sat
on the high stool and responded to texts zayizolo,phof bendincokola no Amanda ndimbuza ngala
post ndiyibone ku fb. Ntando walked in again

Him:"kunuka ka mnandi apha"

I looked up and smiled. Who in this stone age feels comfortable walking around other men in shorts
only? Yes he has a very good body,but :/ even homosexuals can be hood!

Me:"awbaweli unxiba iskipa? Usuke kulombiza Ntando please"

Him:"nope"

He took a spoon wakha kwi livers...Gudda walked in

Me:"thanks"
Him:"sure,nipheka nobabini"?
Bae:"khawhambe uye kwamanye amadoda magadandile"

Wavela wahleka umntaka dad waphuma,loh washiyeka ethe nca kum

Him:"Mrs Beast "

Me:"khawhambe nawe uye kwamanye amadoda anxibileyo"

Wahleka,he kissed my neck and went to take a vest upstairs wabuya enxibile and proceeded with
the meeting. When I was done I cleaned the plates for them,packed them next to the big serving
bowls which contained of their food then I cleaned the kitchen. Bazobona imihlola if batye balishiya
lingcolile ela kitchi. Just when I thought I'm going to rest,kwathi gqi umntaka Smith emnyango e
kitchen :D

Him:"heee! So jy maak die kombuis ruik so lekker huh"?

I turned and ran for a hug!

Mna no Marcus singumtya nethunga,just like Evelyn and Luke.

Me:"lemme guess,y'all came to this meeting"?

Him:"yeah,this baby is good to you. Even your complexion has changed"

We hugged once more then wabuyela elounge,I asked him to call Gudda nyhani weza

Me:''here's your food. When y'all have eaten finish,I want this kitchen to be exactly like this"
Him:"yes ma'am"

Ndamshiya and went to do nothing upstairs, giving them the space they needed to do izinto zabo.

#300
I stayed with u Ntando for a week then I moved back home coz he was going back to CT. A day after
he left I called Bonginkosi up,I don't know why I did but I did anyway. We set to meet that same day
for lunch,in a public area of my choice which couldn't be Vince's place coz I know how news
travel,ingangathi I was out on a date xabeyithetha kuye. I chose a steakhouse close by so I didn't
have to drive a long way around the etolls. I decided to be late. Just to test his patience,ndafika
ehleli waiting patiently ndabulisa and sat down,a waiter came with a menu ndacela i citrus juice
while going through imenu

Him:"you're pregnant "?

I looked up at him... Kungona ayibonayo lonto? My juice returned then I ordered sticky ribs with
sweet potato fries.

Me:" are you not going to order"?

Him:"today's special please"

The waiter took back the menus and left.

Me:"unjani"?
Him:"I've been better,you"
Me:"I'm good. So why are we here today"
Him:"to start afresh I guess"
Me:"well we can only do that if you're willing to first go back and tell me everything I need to know"
Him:"about"?
Me:"are you serious? The only reason I'm here if you didn't know is to find out how I was
conceived,why I was conceived that way and why were you never there"
Him:"its not easy talking about these things,even for me so how much more kuwe"
Me:"erh,I don't mean no disrespect but I do think I'm big enough to think about myself"
Him:"and I'm your father,I should know what's best for you"
Me:"you're right,you should. But you don't. And uhm,that word 'father' can't just be thrown
around,you gotta earn it"

Our food came,I started with the fries,I was starting to worry that I might give birth to an obese
child. Ndlela le ndizitya ngayo iifries.

Him:"your mom...she was uhm,my neighbor's niece"

Me:"uh-huh"
Him:"I would confess my love for her on time to time and she'd reject me"
Me:"why"
Him:"because I was a ganglord and back then,no one wanted to be seen or associated with one"
Me:"kay"
Him:"I was already dating u Ntsiki, mama ka Ayabonga she already had u Aya and semdala kwayena.
Sihlalisana"
Me:"so wait,lemme get this straight. The time you were going after my mother,you were already
dating someone and unomntana naye"?
Him:"ewe,its not uncommon for a gangsta to have more than one girlfriend or children from
different women"
Me;"yho "
Him:"so a year if not two later,I was coming from Dimbaza it was late. I saw your mother endleleni,I
stopped the car and one of the guys I was with grabbed her wamfaka emotweni and we drove out of
that area to our safehouse which was a few kilometers away from where we lived"
I had stopped eating by now...I was just listening.
He stopped talking

Me:"and then what"?

He exhaled...

Him:"and then they uhm,carried her inside,drugged her to calm down a bit coz she was kicking and
screaming. They tied her to the bed and locked us inside. It was after the act that I realized she was a
virgin coz there was so much blood on the bed"
Me:"okay stop. I've heard enough"

I called the waiter and paid for both of us then ndahamba. I left him there. How could he be so calm
about his cruelty? I couldn't listen anymore,I felt dirty myself. He ran after me as I got into my car
wafika xandivala icango

Him:"S'bongile please"

I started the ignition and drove back home. Xandfika nanku u Soso in his dad's car hooting nonstop. I
opened the gate and he drove in first,I was a mess. Tears, nose... And I was glad that it was Soso that
I found atleast he will not nag me to say anything but he'll be the comforting that I need. I got out of
my car same time as he got out of his,I didn't even go to him I just went for the door ndangena
endlini and went straight to the bathroom ndakhupha everything that I had eaten that day,he came
running in calling my name but I couldn't respond. He knelt down next to me,gave me a glass of
water and a clean cloth to clean myself up then we walked together to my room.

Him:"okay Tee what's going on! Why are you like this"?
Me:"I -"

I couldn't say anything else,he pulled me closer and hugged me. I cried kakhulu kengok coz ndithe
nca emnwtini. He pulled my drawers in search of paracetamol capsules and found a small tub of
Panado he gave me two I drank with water ndakhwela ebhedini and closed my eyes. How I prayed
that this was just a nightmare. The detail? The details made me feel dirty. Atleast it was not in a bush
but yerrr it was still in a storehouse where they probably raped other women or killed other human
beings.

Later on when I woke up,Soso was still there watching me. I went to the bathroom and came back to
find a bowl of chopped fruit and a 1litre yoghurt tub waiting for me. I sat down next to him ndatya
without saying a word. He watched me eat half of that,I took a break and breathed.

Him:"feeling better"?
Me:"yeah thank you"
Him:"so tell me what happened"
Me:"I went to meet your uncle,I wanted to know how I was conceived. It just got too much I couldn't
handle it all so I walked out on him ndabuya"
Him:"I'm glad you finally met him,its one step closer to healing"
Me:"healing Soso? I'm broken right now,I feel dirty, I feel unworthy. Yho you have no idea"
Him:"I know I have no idea but being a rape child isn't your label. It doesn't have to be who you are"
Me:"you watch too much TV babe,this is reality. My reality. One that I can't even stomach"
Him:"give yourself time"

Ndathula mna
Him:"kudala iphone'a indodakho"
Me:"ufuna nton"?
Him:"ufuna wena duh"
Me:"mxm"

I continued eating the fruit ndagqibezela nge yogurt, Soso oko endijongile

Him:"things are still okay between you two"?

Me:"uyaxela"?
Him:"I'm asking"
Me:"si right mfethu"
Him:"when is he sending delegations for your lobola"?
Me:"yenye leyo Soso. Izosiwa kuban ilobola yam? Now that I suddenly have a father"?
Him:"wena ufuna isiwe kubani"?
Me:"Luke and Marcus. They have my best interests at heart but knowing u Ntando is a traditional
man, izobanzima lonto especially since another brother is in the picture"
Him:"another brother "?
Me:''Gudda"
Him:"Gudda as in thug Gudda? Thee Gudda"?
Me:"ewe Lwandiso thee Gudda is your cousin"
Him:"how did I not know kengok "?
Me:" hah! You see how stupid my life looks? I three brothers from six different parents,two sisters
from their own different parents. A father who used to be a ganglord, a fiancé who is a ganglord and
somehow all these brothers that I have met,are working for this fiance. Then there's two who are
abroad,thanks to my babydaddy Explain that honey"

Even Soso was dumbfounded.

Him:"but babe kuyo yonke lento you have them,akfani nongabinamntu at all"
Me:"and then there's you"
Him:"hay ndithe ni mna"?
Him:"you're always here when I need you,mxm you should have been my boyfriend kwa kuqala yaz
Lwandiso"
Him:"yho ngesikwi moemishi that is bigger than this Tee. Unlike Landile I know I would have slept
with you,back in EL"
Me:"yho.. And then we find out we're cousins"
Him:"yho mfethu! Thank God you dated Laa. He saved all of us from a lot of unforseen danger"
Me:"yeah say that ag-"

Ntando called...

Me:"babe"
Him:"kunini ndifouna, ufuna nton u Titus apho kodwa wena ulele"?
Me:"I'm good thanks,I'm sure you're fine too. By the sound of your voice"

Soso got up and went downstairs...

Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"baby when will you stop ukhweletela u Soso? Relax mtchana,we're cousins remember "?

He exhaled :o heee! Mara kwenzekani nah phandlapha!?

Him:" unjani u mntanam "?
Me:" she's fine "
Him:"what's up with your voice"?
Me:"bendilila"
Him:"ubulila? Kubhubhe ban"?
Me:"khayeke wethu,uzoza for I check up"?
Him:"no babe I won't make it,I called to inform you ndiyahamba late ndiya e Niger"
Me:"uya e Niger? For what"?
Him:"business"
Me:"ooh,uhambe kak'hle ke"
Him:"sho,mamela ke ndizokuthumelela imali for the doc neye fuel pha late"
Me:"izoba yimalini"?
Him:"it will be enough"
Me:"sho acus"
Him:"ungazula zuli man S'bongile pls,andinaye nomntu endinomthumela azokugada while I'm gone"
Me:"heee haibo,I only go to class nako Vince for inyama qha nje"
Him:"rather call Vince to bring you inyama. I need to know you're safe all the time meaning qho late
you'll text me before you sleep"
Me:"yes sir"
Him:"okay,sharp ke"
Me:"Ntando"?
Him:"huh"?
Me:"I love you"
Him:"ndiyakuthanda nam babe"
Me:"sharp ke"
Him:"sho"

When he hung up I went to join Soso ndafika esitya.

Me:"when are you going back to CT"?

Him:"I don't know,but i know I can't leave you all alone here. Why ubuza"
Me:"well you could spend a few days. If your chick won't mind"
Him:"I'll talk to her don't worry"
Me:"enkosi sani"

I texted Eve,she didn't respond. I called her, she didn't pick up. What the hell happened to her?
Unyaka wonke oko ehlala no Lwando? Hay unesibindi umtase stru'bob!

301

That evening Gudda called,while I was washing supper dishes with Soso

Me:"low"
Him:"hey,you okay"?
Me:"yeah you"?
Him:"I'm cool. Dad told me about your meeting today"
Me:"I don't wanna talk about it. Please"
Him:"I'm sorry okay"
Me:"khayeke bro"
Him:"okay,so what now"?
Me:"I don't know. All I know is I just wanna give birth and see how my life goes. Enye nenye makhe
indimele ngoku"
Him:"you mean utatakho makhe akumele"

I sighed.
I wasn't really in the mood for arguments namhlanje.

Me:"goodnight Gudda"
Him:"haibo sisathetha nje"
Me:"I'm exhausted and you're not helping either so..."

He continued talking I just put the phone on the kitchen counter ndagqibezela le bendiyenza
uzozibona ba uthetha yedwa. When we were done Soso went to his room, one that I prepared for
him,I went to mine. I ran myself a bath with relaxing salts then I took my phone and called Keri while
soaking myself in the bubbled water.

Her:"hey you"
Me:"hey you,how you holding up"
Her:"I'm fine how's the little one"?
Me:"he's been treating me good sis"
Her:"okay,I'm sensing some weird vibes from you. What's up"?
Me:"yho,where do I start"?
Her:"from the top"
Me:"okay so uhm,I found a man who's supposedly my father. Then I found out that I'm a rape child.
Then I have about three brothers,and one more thing,he used to be a gang lord".
Her:"you're kidding,right"?
Me:"I wish I was,I sooo wish I was kidding"
Her:"where's Evelyn ? I haven't heard from her for a month now"
Me: "last time I saw her was in December when we were with you"
Her:"so you've been alone all this time? Through what you're telling me "?
Me:" I now know that I'm a big girl coz I'm still standing"
Her:"I'm proud of you baby,I don't know what else to say but to just keep strong and know that I'm
here"
Me:"thanks for listening hey"
Her:"anytime sweetie"
Me:"good night then,kiss the little one for me"
Her:"will do,night"

When I hung up there were bank notifications, Ntando had sent the money so I called to thank him

His phone rang twice then cut off,I decided not to recall. Uyawthi xa engekho busy aphinde
andfounele ngokwakhe. I dried myself up and went to my room,got dressed in PJs then I turned off
the lights. I received a message from Gudda's father " I'm sorry if I scared you,I didn't want to
disclose such delicate info to you but since you persisted I told you. Don't get me wrong,its not your
fault, its all mine. Hope you'll contact me again so we can move on. Have a good night".

I didn't know what to say on response. I don't even think I wanted to respond. I just put my phone
on silent ndalala.
The following morning I woke up at 03:00 am and just allowed myself some reality check,you know?
Going through each and every detail in my miserable life. No man,my life wasn't as bad as I saw it to
be. I realized that even if I wouldn't publicly admit it,I was blessed beyond measure. I had Luu and
Marc in my corner,then the additional three brothers from my dad. Then there's Eve and Keri. What
more am I looking for in life? Coz I have family. I have my own little family in progress too,maybe
soon we'll tie the knot and then there's Sino and Owe. I know with Ntando I don't really have to
work,but I wanted to. I know very well that he has the capabilities of providing for the whole
Nkandla if he wanted to but I wanted my own money,maybe if I don't get to work I'll start my own
business but I wanted my own money. Life taught me it's good to be independent. After some time
of thinking going back and forth,I went to the bathroom, came back and checked my phone :o I
had tons of messages and missed calls from the big guy and I knew he'll act up. I dialed his number
and called him back,jonga it was a half-ring if ikhona then he picked up

Him:"S'bongile,I've been calling you nonstop! I even texted you awphenduli? What's wrong with
your phone? Or awphenduli on purpose"

Oh-kay :/ what ever happened to 'hello' ke atleast? I sighed and answered in the lowest of tones
that I've ever had

Me:"I'm sorry,bendilele and the phone was on silent "

Him:"well you should put it on ascending or vibration right after this call"
Me:"kay"

He exhaled.
I waited for him to recollect himself... It seemed like a long wait and I knew if he doesn't talk,I'll drift
off to sleep pretty soon. Somehow though I was awake when I called him,now that I've heard his
voice I suddenly became drowsy and sleepy all over again.

Him:"baby"
Me:"love"
Him:"ndiyakucela kak'hle, when I call you fumaneka. Or atleast if u busy respond noba kunge
message,at all times I need to know you're safe"
Me:"okay"
Him:"why you awake this time though"?
Me:"I couldn't sleep anymore"
Him:"something bothering you"?
Me:"its nothing I can't handle,don't worry about it"
Him:"babe ubukhe wathi ubulila,now you can't sleep. Are you sure you can handle whatever it is
that is bothering you"?
Me:"I'm certain, just do whatever it is you're doing apho and come back. I need you"
Him:"okay now I'm worried.you've never actually said that out loud before"
Me:"what"?
Him:"that you need me"
Me;"well I'm just telling the truth. I need you. For cuddling qha"

Wahleka :)

Him: "ooh so I'm some sort of a cuddle bear to you"

Me:"you are not some sort, you are MY cuddle bear of all seasons"
Him:"I'll be back quicker on one condition"
Me:"what's that"?
Him:"uzandibekela ntoni"?
Me:"wena ufuna nton"?
Him:"you know what I want"
Me:"then you'll get what you want,problem solved"
Him:"hm,okay. But you have to sleep now"
Me:"sure"
Him:"call me in the morning"
Me:"its morning already fondin khayeke ndilale kancinci"
Him:"heh,call me ovuka kwakho ke"
Me:"sho"
Him:"yho uyozela ngoku,ndiva kwa ilizwi lakho"
Me:"bye bye babe"
Him: "sho"

I hung up,babuya bonke ubuthongo bam.

302

When I woke up the following morning I went downstairs ndafika sevukile u Soso esitya

Me:"morning"
Him:"hey,you slept well "?
Me:" yep,you"
Him:"yep. U Lindo wants to come here"
Me:"here as on Jo'burg or here aphendlini"?
Him;"both"
Me:"mmkay"
Him:"you don't mind"?
Me:"cherrie yakho at the end of the day"
Him:"kay thanks,I'll be out ke most of the day but you will call me xa udinga anything right"?
Me:"yeah,don't forget your changing clothes"
Him;"I won't"

He ate finish and went to shower,I called ta Beast

Him:"hm"?
Me:"I'm awake"
Him:"oh sure baby"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up.
They must have been up the whole night xa esalele by that time.

A few days later, Lindo came to spend the weekend with us. I was cool,I didn't mind at all.
Yamoshakala yonke lonto on Sunday morning when my beloved sister decided to come back home. I
had just woken up, bathed and was now going down to make myself oatmeal breakfast when I heard
her cross-questioning Lindo who was sweeping the lounge. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs
ndabajonga and she saw me before Lindo did

Her:"who the hell is she? And what is she doing here in such skimpy clothes"?
Me:"morning Evelyn. Lindo yeka love I'll sweep up"

Wayeka and went back to Soso,I went to the kitchen. Eve followed and stood there just watching
me, I didn't mind her,I just made my porridge in silence. I know I was wrong even for allowing Soso
in here,worse kengok with his girlfriend coz this is not my house. I know Luu wouldn't mind coz he
knows Soso very well ,but still.

Her:"I saw your missed call"

I wanted to ask why didn't she respond but I just decided against it. She doesn't have to respond to
anything if she doesn't feel like.

Her:"Tee"?
Me:"Eve"
Her:"I'm sorry,okay"
Me:"about what"?
Her:"about not being around. I heard from Keri. Are you okay"?
Me:"I'm fine"

Wakhe wathula.

Her:"who's the Lindo girl"?

Me:"Lwandiso's girlfriend "
Her:"oh,he's here too"?
Me:"yes"
Her:"I see"

Ndaphaka ndamphakela,she took her bowl and we followed each other to the lounge. My phone
beeped,I notification of a missed call.I returned Ntando's call

Him:"hey, ubukhe wandfounela today"?

Me:"haikengok! You don't recall"?
Him:"well I thought I was dreaming,I guess not"
Me:"your business is messing with your head I'm telling you"
Him:"is that you saying I must come back"?
Me:"you know I want you back nje"
Him:"ndiyeza sungxama"
Me: "kay I gotta go"
Him:"u sharp "?
Me:" I'm fine "
Him:"okay sho"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and attended to my food. Soso walked down fully dressed

Him:"morning,hey Eve "

Her:"hey, uright "?
Him:"I'm cool you"?
Her:" I'm good,please apologize to your girlfriend for me. I didn't know anything about y'all being
here"
Him:"no pro'm"

He went straight to the kitchen...u Eve ebezokwazi ntoni when she's hardly home? Doesn't respond
to messages? Doesn't pick up calls? Heh!

Her:"so I see you're engaged. Congratulations "

Me:"thank you"
Her:"okay I'm getting irritable of this tension. What must I do to show that I'm sorry"?
Me:"why do you keep apologizing for what you wouldn't have been able to stop even if you were
here"?
Her:"fact is I wasn't here when you needed me most okay,I feel guilty because of that and you seem
tense. I don't know,its like you're asking yourself why am I back all of a sudden"
Me:"I don't know where you get your ideas but its your brothers house you're allowed to do as you
please I'm sure"
Her:"you see? That! That's what I don't like"
Me:"honesty"?
Her:"no,that tone you used and your choice of words"

I got up...

Me:"if you fought with Lwando don't worry you still have a bed here,I don't know what you are
talking about"

I went to rinse my bowl and drank my meds. Soso had made breakfast for him and Lindo then took it
upstairs. I went back to the lounge and watched TV.

Lwando hooted outside she got up and opened for him, Soso and Lindo came down.

Me:"have you guys eaten"?

Her:"yeah"
Me:"anibaweli siye caweni Soso"?
Him:"huh?"

Lindo laughed... Lwando walked in followed by Eve ,he greeted an sat down.

Me:"alright,lemme leave y'all and go get dressed"

Eve:"going somewhere"?
Soso:"yeah,uhm... We're going to church. Sho mzala"
LD:"sho ndoda"

Lol we headed back to our rooms,I got dressed for church ndagqiba then I went down,Soso was
down already waiting for his girlfriend

LD:"so everyone is going to church"?

Soso:"yep,u bra G oko wayendilindile charlie I think its time ba ndide ndiyombona"

LD wam jonga and shook his head,then looked at me

Him:"can we tag along? I mean,we initially came to spend the day with you"
Me:"sure"

He looked at his girlfriend

Him:"go get dressed we're going with the others"

Her:"can't I wear my jeans"?
Him:"while everyone else is wearing dresses? Really"?

She ran upstairs to change,Lindo returned and now we had to wait for Eve.

303
We all got in LD's car coz it was bigger then we headed to church. It was fun,refreshing even. After
church we headed back to the car, I bumped onto Libo ehamba no Chloe also coming from church.

Libo:"hey Tee, awsemhle"

Me:"thanks"

I took a few steps before I heard Chloe

Her:"must be nice huh,having your man fight your battles"

I turned, Soso was a step ahead naye wama and looked at them

Me:"Libhongo, I'd suggest you talk to your friend"

Her:"what? You want Libo to fight your battles too? there's no need honey"
Libo:"don't mind her,masambe man wena you'll get us in trouble"
Her:"get in trouble? Even if she were to convince Vince to fire me he wouldn't, I'm irreplaceable
baby. Your man knows that Tee, ask him"

Then they left.

I looked at Soso and headed straight to the car.

Soso:"aniwubaweli umojo"?
LD:"ndiyawubawela mna,know of a good place"?
Soso:"yep,lemme drive"
LD:"besekukade"

They exchanged seats,we went to the ShisaNyama and my prayer was that ibe kanti abantwana
babini bebezophangela . When we got there,there was no space. The tables were occupied,well
most of the big ones and only a few of the small ones.

Lindo:"sooo,we're too many for those tables"

Eve:"Tee,can't you speak to Vince"?

I called him on phone

Him:"Tee"?
Me:"hey,we're actually outside. We need a table can you help us"
Him:"how many are you"?
Me:"hay khawphume uzosibona,undigqibela iairtime"
Him:"heee! Yes ma'am"

I smiled and hung up,he came out yhooo bangxola ke no Soso :o I'd forgotten about their little
friendship thanks to the twins!

Vince:"wait, Titus went to church"?

Soso:"hah! You underestimate me young V"
Me:"hello? A table. Please"
Soso:"nako ke uthethile u boss lady ntangam"

Vince laughed and combined two tables for us,we sat down

Soso:"I don't know if you've met already,this is Lwando my cousin and this is the main
lady,Lindokuhle. Lady and gentleman,this niqqa over here is sir Vincent,the manager of this place
AND brother-in-law to my favorite other newly found cousin... Trinalique "
Gosh u Soso! Why does he talk nonstop though?

Vince:"wait,you're cousins? Tee"?

LD:"heee! This is news to me too"
Eve:"oh-kay! The holy spirit just came down on all of us"

I smiled...shyly,I swear this whole family was a coincidence. These cousin issues :v

Me:"Vince what's on special today"?

Soso:"no no no,we don't want any specials. We want our very own special special"
Me:"Lwandiso"
Soso:"hay hay... Heh Vee, ikhona la cherry yakho"?
Him:"she just came on shift"
Soso:"thank God! I want her and that friend of hers to service us today"

Vince looked at me :) I know what game Soso is playing and that means my own agenda has to
stop for a minute

Vince:"okay,I'll call them"

Soso:"thank you"

Vince left,sashiyeka sancokola and I swear I avoided the cousin top very well. I didn't wanna talk
about it,especially now that Eves boyfriend has the potential possibility of being my own cousin. No
man,this family was getting too close to the skin for comfort stru'bob!

Libo came with another girl,not Chloe they gave us menus

Soso:"where's your friend"?

Her:"excuse me"?
Soso:"kukho umoya apha guys"?
LD:"I don't feel anything"
Soso:"are you suddenly partially deaf "?
Her:"no,I just didn't hear you properly"
Soso:"yho nono,andikonqeni kemna ukhwaza,sundithuma pls. Iphi la ntombi ubuhamba nayo
ecaweni"

Libo looked at me,I just busied myself on my phone pretending not to hear anything

Her:"she's working inside today"

Soso:"will you please go to your boss,tell him I would like,wait. We would like you and her at our
service today. Please. No offense my dear"

The other lady smiled and nod,Libo nod and left us with the menus.

Lindo:"what was that about"?

Soso:"they need to learn a Lil something"
Me:"don't be harsh on them niqqa"
Lindo:"haibo Sbosh,you're also in this? What's happening with you guys today"
Eve:"I'd rather not know, Soso and Tee in a team? I bet you those girls are gonna regret whatever
they did"

Sathula thina,Libhongo akaphuma but we saw Chloe coming with a note pad wabulisa with a serious
face :v
LD:"nizotya ntoni guys? I feel like tenderized braaied beef in sweet chilli sauce along with hotbuns
then a carry pack of Hunters Gold"
Chloe:"beef? That will take longer than pork"
LD:"which is why I said tenderized nontombi "

She smirked and noted down what he said then she looked at Soso

Her:"what would the others like"

Lindo:"Eve,let's eat together"
Eve:"bottle of icecold grapetizer,and pork and sausage for two"
Lindo:"and a bottle of water "

Chloe: "okay,next one"

Lol you could see isgezo from Soso brewing

Chloe:"or you guys are done"?

Soso:"no,I'd like matured steak half done in peri-peri sauce,a kg of ribs on sweet and sour
sauce,chakalaka saisage and a loaf of uncut brown bread"

Chloe was still writing... Lol everyone was looking at Soso :v :v

Him:"then bring me a bottle of your most expensive champagne. I'm done,you can go"

She was still noting down... Libo came to her rescue

Libo: "your orders have been taken I take it"?

Soso:"would you make yourself useful and brink us cocktails so long,your friend over here seems to
be sloping"

Lindo hit Soso on the arm...

Libo:"coming right up,Tee u Vince ucela ukubona privately "

Me:"sure"

Ndaphakama and went to his office,leaving Chloe on the mercy of Lwandiso. Fika le looking stressed.

Him:"Libo told me what happened after church"

Me:"huh"?
Him:"I know why you guys requested both Libo and Chloe. Please stop Soso coz I know he can be
crazy AF"
Me:"is that why you called me over here"?
Him:"Tee pls,she's got two written warnings already and the big guy said I must release her a long
time ago but I can't"
Me:"that's why she thinks she's irreplaceable "

Him:"that's what she said''?

Me:"actually yes,utshilo"
Him:"yho andiyaz ingxaki yalomntana"
Me:"can I give you a Lil something to ponder on"?
Him:"shoot"
Me:"I know Libhongo is also not in Ntando's good books,if I tell him what they're doing anytime they
see me together then not only Chloe will loose his job,your girlfriend too"
Him:"Trina please"
Me:"now I don't wanna be petty,but I'm getting sick of Chloe acting like u K wam. If she is,which I
wouldn't put past her,then we'll have to settle it aside as women"

I walked back to my people and half our orders were through :v Soso was ranting about his meat
being too bloody,not matured enough. He was just causing a scene. Making sure that he belittles
both of them without mercy.

Me:"didn't you order chakalaka sausage Soso"?

Him:"tyhini mntase! Lomntana u dead I swear, heh Cleopatra izapha"
Lindo:"the name is Chloe babe"

Chloe came to our table...

Soso:"did I not order chakalaka sausage"?

Her: "yes"
Soso:"then what's this? This tastes like Vuyo's tomato sausage "
LD:"oooooh Vuyo,is such a biiig big dreamer"!

Baphela bonke laughing whole heartedly :v :v

Soso:"I'm not paying for this,take it back and bring me what I ordered. While you at it,make sure my
steak doesn't get well done or you'll be paying for that too"
Her:"what am I supposed to do with a half eaten sausage"?
LD:"pay for it"
Her:"what the hell? No no, Vince must hear this I'm not paying for it"
Soso:"go tell him,but first.I want my meat,I'm starving"

She hissed and went to the office...

Me:"LD don't entertain Soso"

Lindo:"Soso needs no entertainment mntase,I'm just worried ngabantwana babantu who'll lose their
jobs after today"

Lol in a sec, Chloe came out with Vince and they headed towards our table.

#304

Thank God my nigga called right when they reached our table,I took my phone and moved away
from them coz I know Soso won't back down and quite frankly Vince knows what's to be done...

Me:"baby"
Him:"hey,how are my babies"
Me:"we're fine,how's daddy"?
Him:"I'm lovesick"
Me:"you're what? Baby is that word even a word phof"?
Him:"I don't know,all I know is I'm lovesick"
Me:"then come home,I told you I need you. And now that you're lovesick,I'll give you some love"
Him:"yho baby ndlela le ndidinwe ngayo I really feel like leaving these guys here. Anyway,enough
about my whining. How's your Sunday"

I just laughed... He doesn't wanna know.

Him:"haibo,wavela wahleka babe what's going on there"?

Me:"its a long story babe,but the shorter version of it is that my Sunday has been fun. Still is"
Him:"hay babe gimme a Lil more than that fondin "
Me:"hahaha! Yho,mamela ke lovie so I went to church with Soso,his girl,LD and Eve"
Him:"wait, did you just mention Soso and church in one sentence "?
Me:" unbelievable, I know"
Him:"I'm glad you have people around you. Don't repeat this,but I'm also glad Soso is there for
you...especially now"
Me:"haaaaa! What did you say? Babe I didn't hear you correctly "
Him:"yazbona ke "
Me:"ha.a man babe pls repeat what you just said"
Him:"I'm not doing that,look I have to go now"
Me:"well thanks for the call baby daddy"
Him:"keep my baby safe will ya"
Me:"I'll try,just finish up whatever you're doing and some home"
Him:"home huh? A niqqa has got a fiancé waiting for him to come home"

I chuckled

Me:"yeah whatever! I have to go,bye bye"

Him:"sharp"

I hung up and went back to the table. Vince was still tryna put out fires and Soso wasn't backing
down,somehow Chloe was in tears

Me:"why's she such a mess"?

Vince just shook his head,hands on both sides of his waist

Me:"erh...guys. I think we should just go,I need my afternoon nap"

Lindo:"khawthethe nalomntakwenu"

I looked at him

Me:"sambeni dude"
Him:"who's gonna pay for that"?
Vince:"I will,thank you for coming guys"

We took our things and left. I knew Ntando won't miss this one... He will call me again afunukwazi
what happened.

We hadn't even reached the car when Soso noticed that his wallet was missing

Him:"ooh tata ka Yakobi! La Cleopatra fingered my wallet! Yuh"

Lindo:"babe don't accuse umntana bantu without proof,let's just go back and look for it"
Him:"Soso loves you okay,but you stay here. I can handle this"

He went back... We could hear him from the parking lot >_<

Vince:"oh God Titus! Again? Really"?

Him:"uh-uh nigga,don't go British on me. Cleopatra fingered my wallet and I want it back"
Vince:"who the hell is Cleop- argh! You mean Chloe? Why would she do that? You know she could
lay charges against you for false accusations "
Him:"well if its not her its you,is it you"?
Vince:"okay, lemme just get her. Stay here. And keep calm,yho une drama man"
Him:"you haven't seen nun mtchanam, read my lips, ndakuyenza mi-za-re-ble iLife yalankazana I'm
telling you"

Vince went to check on Chloe,they came back together Vince with the wallet. Vince was
numb,exhausted even.

Vince:"thetha"
Her:"I'm sorry"
Soso:"no no no sweetie,you are only sorry because you got caught."

He took his wallet and counted his bank cards,intact. He counted his money and looked at her

Him:"Cleopatra "
Her:"Chloe"
Him:"Cleopatra. Andiphazami, this wallet had R2 576.80 and now there's R2 270.80"

Vince stepped in...

Him:"I three klippa ayiyo le ithenge inyama mfethu"?

Soso:"I swiped"

Bajonga ku Chloe bobabini

Her:"I don't know what happened to it,I swear I didn't take it''
Vince:"stay here ndiyabuza u Libo"

He left the two of them together and went to call Libhongo,while he was gone. Soso took the
opportunity with both hands

Soso:''Patty-patty,I don't recall introducing myself. My name is Lwandiso Titus. And I promise
you,you can be cocky and cheeky with Tee and Young V but I will put you in your place. Okay"?

She smirked and blew a bubble gum,that ticked Soso off. Wrongly!

Him:"I see you don't have manners too,lemme give you a word of advice. When you reach your crib
tonight,close all holes in it. Were your smelly traditional attire and burn incense. You will need
intervention from your ancestors when things go from bad to worse for you tomorrow morning"

Vince appeared with Libo

Him:"Chloe Libhongo knows nothing about the wallet"

Her:"I gave him his wallet.but I swear I didn't take no money"
Libo;"what were you doing with his wallet in the first place Chloe man"?
Soso:"okay. I'm leaving without my money. Whoever took it must just appease with the ancestors to
avoid bad luck. Imali ka Titus ayibiwa banta bam. Iyasetyenzelwa,just don't call me crying ucela uxolo
ksasa"

He took his wallet and left them...now we really drove out of that place,akangxoli phof u Soso
kulemoto oko simhleka.

#305

We reached home and we laughed about it oko... Dammit Soso can really be dramatic!

Him:"guys mamela ni,lamntana uzoza apha ksasa with my money nizobona"

LD:"I doubt that,lamntana will use that money kwa namhlanje"
Him:"mzala, imali yasekhaya mfethu cannot be wasted. That chick heee,you don't play with Titus
money. Stru nasi guys, oootatomkhulu bazomtywatyusha athi saa ebsuku"
Me:"well I'm actually hoping what you're saying is true. You guys have no idea how miserable those
girls made my life"
Soso:"nalo ka Vincent"?
Me:"first it was her,then she stopped. Chloe just came out of the blue"
Eve:"talking about Chloe..."
Soso:"no man you guys,its Cleopatra "

:v we all burst out, he was darn serious!

Eve:"thank you honorable speaker,talking about Cleopatra. That girl is either crushing on your man
or she hit it with him already"
Lindo:"I was gonna say that,her attitude says a lot more"
LD:"guuuys! Whether she has a crush or had maybe slept with your man,what matters is that you're
his fiancé. You're carrying his baby"
Me:"and,if she did or is sleeping with my man then I'm going to find out. Trust me on that"
Soso:"you got detective Titus on call,when we do find out sizomtrapa like nobody's business ahambe
ayobuza ku Chuma"
Me:"haha! Don't bring that one up"
LD:"now who's that"?
Soso:"some ratchet ass we once knew who vanished into thin air"
Lindo:"swiftly changing the subject... Sihamba nini babe"
Him:"tomorrow morning, I have to see Cleopatra knocking on that door ksasa"

Lol I went to change and wore comfortable clothing,everyone else in fact changed besides LD ofcoz.
Then we chilled. I was pondering kule ndaba ka Chloe and the idea of her and Ntando and why Vince
"can't" fire her even after he was instructed to. It wasn't long before Ntando called, like I expected

Me:"guys,shush"
Eve:"ta Beast"
Me:"yep,I'm sure he heard about today''
Soso:"faka ku loud"
Me:"uyagula ufunuva xandphoxwa...khanmeni"

..

Me: "baby"?
Him:" I just got a call from Vince"
Me:"about"?

Lol Soso came closer to my ear :v

Him:"about what happened today,with you and your friends"

Me:"oh"
Him:"that's all you're gonna say? Oh"?
Me:"I don't know what I'm expected to say kalok babe"
Him:"I asked you nicely,don't go to the ShisaNyama, rather call Vince I know he won't mind
delivering for you and you said okay,I trusted that undivile but then you go and do the exact
opposite"
I was quiet.
Soso looked at me and moved back to his place...I didn't wanna argue with Ntando in front of them. I
know our arguments can get quiet ugly.

Him:"S'bongile "
Me:"baby"
Him:"don't baby me,just answer what the hell happened? Ubufuna ntoni pha in the first place"
Me:"don't b- yho!"
Him:"and then,this Chloe thing iphinde yavuka nini ngoku? I thought that was settled a long time
ago"

Ndaphakama...walked upstairs to my room

Me:"talking about that,tell me something"

Him:"what"?
Me:"what is happening between you and Chloe? Or,what happened between you and her"?
Him:"I'm losing you,what are you saying"?
Me: "Ntando"?
Him;" S'bongile "
Me:"uyayaz mos we have passed the stage where we lie and cover up neh"?
Him:"what's that got to do with lento sithetha ngayo kengok "?
Me:" everything. I am asking you again,is there or was there anything that happened between you
and Chloe"?

He was silent.

Me:"the truth"
Him:"babe..."
Me:"a minute ago you said I shouldn't baby you,now you're babying me"?
Him:"nothing is happening between us,she was once a one night fling"
Me:"oooh"
Him:"kudala babe man,ngokuya sasohlukene. And it ended there"
Me:"mmh,so that's why she said she's irreplaceable and I must ask you,you know"
Him:"okay,I flopped. I didn't tell you coz I knew uzo reactor babe,but kuyo yonke lonto I love you"
Me:"mamela ke Z'khali"
Him:"ndimamele baby "
Me:"I want her fired with immediate effect "
Him:"I will have to talk to Vince about that but he'll need a replacement and that might be
immediate"
Me:"honey"?
Him:"babe"?
Me:"you will call Vince now,he will fire Chloe today. Okay"?

He exhaled...

Him:"okay"
Me:"good,now was there anything else you wanted to talk bout"?
Him:"no"
Me:"later then"
Him:"I love you"
Me:"I know "
Then I hung up and walked back downstairs :v oonomdaba stopped talking the minute I walked
down the stairs

Eve:"and"?
Me: "he says they had a once off thing during that period we had broken up"
Lindo:"bend'tshilo"
Eve;"so what now"?
Me:"well I want her fired "
Soso:"you and the Beast''
Me:"we're cool,its not like he cheated. We had broken up for almost a year if not two so I can't really
be angry over that,and besides...it was long ago"
LD:"he is actually the one who should light up incense and thank his ancestors for you"
Soso:"jonga,avase ngo s'xhwaphaxhwapha mzala xa egqibo qhumisa"
Lindo:"yho this Chloe chick brought this on herself,yet I actually feel sorry for her"
Me:"kuse ksasa,now that I know where the problem lies,I'm coming for her. Yhu indiqhelile la
ntombi guys you have no idea"
Soso:"kuboooo mntakza! Kubo"

306

We chilled throughout but Lwando left so we all departed to our rooms. One hour later I received a
call from the King himself

Me:"low"
Him:"babe,Ndiyabuya ngomso"
Me:"sho"
Him:"okay goodnight ke"
Me:"night"

Wakhe wathi cwaka. I had a lot to say to him but I didnt wanna start it ibengathi ndinochuku so I just
waited patiently for him coz I knew he was only coming back home so soon because of this thing
yakhe no Chloe.

Him:"baby"
Me:"love"
Him:"pls dont mind lento ka Chloe,theres nothing to it"
Me:"you forget that I know you,usamane undenza muncu but its okay,we just have to wait and see
who'll be the stupid one in the end"
Him:"baby asoze ndikwenze muncu,I love you and you alone. Nguwe umama wabantwana bam
nje,believe me,i love you"
Me:"I don't doubt your love for one second,my problem is honesty and commitment qha"
Him:"I am 100% committed to you Nalique,trust me on that"

I kept quiet. How do I trust him when I know he's lying to me even now? My instinct doesn't lie,he's
still sleeping with her and I swear she's the one he was chatting with the othe day. Why else would
she say she's irreplaceable I must ask my man? Nxa!

Me:"goodnight babe"
Him:"i love you,remember that"
I hung up ndalala. I later woke up past three in the morning,my phone was making my own life
miserable. I looked at bright light of the screen and cursed under my breath before i picked up la
call...

Me:"ulibonile ixesha Libo"?

Her:"I'm so sorry Tee,could we come to your crib? Chloe needs to see your friend Soso"
Me:"who told you uSoso uhlalapha kengok"?
Her:"sivela kulandlu yakokwabo akhomtu bra,please"

I remembered Soso ebetshilo ba sizovuswa ngulomtana :v

Her:"i know you are not her biggest fan but am begging you,pls"
Me:"whats the urgency at this time of the morning na libo"?
Her:"ndivuswe nguye ucela ndimkhaphe azise imali ka soso"
YES!! :D :p
Me:"well andizovukela lonto mna,zenize past eight xasivukile"
Her:"oyhini Tee mfethu,we're already close to your house"
Me:"Libhongo"
Her:"yah"
Me:"uChloe stole that money on her right minds evha ke nono? I don't like her,probably never will
ke futhi so into engazokwenzeka kuba ndivukela ububhanxa bakhe mna. Ndaziphi ba akezanga just
to bewitch me? Hay pls bethuna,sanusihambela nge odd hours apha"
Her:"ok. I'm sorry"

I hung up and tried my utmost best to go back to sleep,and i did.

I later woke up with some stupid morning sickness then i went downstairs,Lindo was making
breakfast ndabulisa and made myself bushtea ndayohlala elounge,a car hooted outside,Lindo
opened kwangena u LD followed by a blue mini cooper. They walked in...

LD:"morning,I found them outside"

I looked at Libo and her friend as they sat down. Lindo came to give LD his food just as Eve came
down and sat next to him

Her:"and then? What brings you night girls here so early"?

Libo:"we would like to see Soso plz,we're sorry for coming here this time"
Lindo:"yinton le ibonwayo ku Soso engaguli nje"?
Libo:"uhm,my friend overhere has something in her possession that does'nt belong to her"
Eve:"you look ashamed shame Libo man"
Me:"well you should,le yakho ichomi eyazithanda izinto that don't belong to her"
Chloe:"oh pls white girl,stop acting like a saint here and I have never taken anything belonging to
you"

Soso walked in wearing denim shorts and sandles

Him:"you think we don't know you're fucking ta Beast"

Wanquma.. Libo looked at her in some kind of unbelief.
Lindo wasinika sonke ukutya besides these two

Soso:"yinton wanyaba Cleopatra,ufunani khona apha ekuseni"

Her:"I came to apologize and return the money I stole from your wallet izolo"

Yho sajongana sapheeeela yintsini

Me:"rha Soso uyathakatha"
Him:"akwehlanga lungehliyo bangcwele"

Watsho ethatha imali yakhe,counted it and then looked back at them...

LD:"iyokunceda ke Patra into yokuba uyo resigna ku ta Vince namhlanhe,thats if unayo i atom ye
wisdom in that rotten brain of yours"
Her:"umuncu. I will never resign and I know asoze ndigxothwe mna phaya. you guys are just wasting
your time"
Soso:"mamela ke Cleopatra,I won't lie to you. I detest you uyevha? And todat I will go to the
ShisaNyama ndiyokoja,mntaka dabawo andizokubhalela leta mna ndifuna uyazi into yokuba
ndizokunyisa qha qwaba"
Libo:"soso pls,she brought your money back and apologized nje"
Eve:"its no longer about the money sweety"
Libo:"then what's it about ke guys"?
Lindo:"tyhini amuncu amantombi ase goli ungatsho nje,awuva ba sithi le bestfriend yakhi ilala ne
fiance ka Sibo"?
Libo:"haibo Chloe is this true"?
Her:"ndithini ke xa emshiya ekhona afounele mna u ta Beast Libo? Yindoda kalok leya and
andizongamphi lento imnandi xa eka Trina ibanda chomi"

Lol ndaze ndagezeleka egoli. Libhongo just got up and went to her car,I don't know when Eve went
to the kitchen but when Chloe got up to leave,we heard a splash of water,a cry and
screams...xasisithi siyajonga,u eve umbhake umqolo nge ketile yonke ebilileyo ndothuka ndoma.
Lwanda grabbed the kettle from her eyomisa amanye while she ra to libo's car they drove out.

Me:"but Eve you didnt have to do that,she's gonna open a case of assault against you and then
what"?
Soso:"uright wena Eve uyevha? You did the right thing my love"
LD:"and besides,we'll tell the cops she came to assault you kokwenu. SHe doesn't have a case"

A part of me was glad coz iyandiqhela lantombi,strubob. We ate finish and discussed how we were
going ti answer anyone who would ask about the incident,we orchestrated our story sa solid then
we drove Soso and his girl to the airport..Lwando dropped me off endlini and left with his girfriend.

I Received a call from my other brother

ME:"Gudda"
Him:"heee,andsengo bhuti Aya ngoku? uNJan"?
Me:"i'm okay unjan wena"?
Him:"i'm cool. i told my brothers about you,bazobuya in three months time bazokubona"
Me:"yey."
Him:"i know you don't really wanna be part of this family but you can't wash us anywhere,singo
bhuti bakho and we would like to be part of your life too"
Me:"I'm okay with knowing you,i know where you stand with my life choices. i can't really have
another brother-duo express their opinions about how I should live my life"
Him:"thats what you get for being the youngest kaloku,look,just be open minded and give them a
chance. okay"?
Me:"okay"
Him:"alright,enjoy the rest of your day"
Me:"thanks for calling"
I spent the rest of the day indoors,mainly just resting and revising my work ,early preparation for the
exams. In the evening i called Vince...

Him:"hey Tee"
Me:"vince,ndcela undenzele i sausage ye R30 and deliver it pls"
Him:"yhooo Tee,andizokwazi ngiI'm on my way to check on Chloe and uLibo akazokwazi uhamba
phaya abantu bambalwa"
Me:"okay no problem"
him:"sho ke sisi''

I
DIALEd Libo...

Her:"hello TEE''
me:"hey,ndcela undenzele i sausage ye R30 takeaway i'll pick it up just now"
Her:"okay,nothing else? oh and which flavour''?
me:"periperi lovie"
her:"okay sharp"
Me:"sho''

WE hung up.
NTando wabuya nyhani late,lol and wafiika kanye xandinxiba kuba ndisiyothatha la sausage,he
walked in kissed me,i hugged him .....

HIM:"going somewhere this late''?m

ME:"going to pick up my supper koo Vince''
Him:"oh"
Me:"we can go together if you want to"
HIM:"pack a weekend bag sobuyela pha kum''
Me:"mandicelwe kalok mandingathunywa mtasekhaya''
HIM:"please''
ME:"thank you''

He just smiled at me,I went to pack then went to pick up my meat and headed to his crib. HE went to
freshen up,i just sat elounge ndatya leaving im a few pieces then i got busy on my phone. HIs tablet
rang,I waited for the caller id to show...and then yavela ba ngumntu oyi female some "Xolelwa'' and
then a message from Ta Bongs ndadikwa kengoku. I went upstairs ndakhulula ndalala,he came out
and came around the bed to kiss my forehead

ME:"xolelwa called,ta bongs sent a text"

Him:"bazolinda,i miss my babies"
Me:"masilale babt,im exhausted"
Him:"ubusenzani kanti ude ube exhausted"?
Me:"you dont wanna know,I dont wanna bore you with the details''
HIm:"try me"

he got in bed,i turned and faced himm

ME:" i was busy digging up some dirt on Chloe"

HIM:"chloe? why would you do that"??
ME:"she practically told me that ndiyabanda,thats why undishiya apha uyolalala naye. ndikhona"
Wathula,he was slowly turning navishly purple and thats how I KNew Ndichane ucwethe emsileni.
HOW do you explain his reaction? IF CHLOe is lying then uNTando ucaphukiswa yintoni? i kissed him
goodnight and lay my head on his chest ndalala.

307

I was woken up by the smell of fresh coffee,I turned around and met his face somewhat glowing this
morning. Even before I could greet him,he kissed my lips. I smiled and went to the bathroom then
came back and took a cup with rooibos ndamnika the one with coffee then i supported my back with
a continental pillow ndathula.

Him:"babe"
Me:"mh"?
Him:"ndiyakuthanda"
Me:"sho"
Him:"i don't blame you for not believing me,but ndiyakuthanda and i dont wanna loose you"
Me:"why would you loose me Ntando"
Him:"i know you know the truth about Chloe,i don't have an excuse but i guess i thought it was just
harmless fun at the time"
Me:"harmless fun neh? Ungatsho nje u life wakho u sweet zkhali"
Him:"u sweet coz i have you on my side"
Me:"u sweet coz unayo ne chance to have harmless fun that involves sexual intersexion with
multiple partners Ntando. Do you realize that you are not only putting your life at risk,but my own
too. Andizothetha ke ngomntwana"
Him:"i'm sorry"
Me:"kay"
Him:"nyhani baby"
Me:"okay kaloku fondin"

I got off the bed and went downstairs,i wanted to eat something sweet namhlanje so i just looked
through everything in the fridge but nothing was touching my sweettooth,le chap khange ithenge
kwa kutya apha... Just as he walked downstairs we heard a knock so he went to open the door,i was
still in the kitchen. Vincent walked in bancokola,i walked in on them esithi "ey bhuti I don't know
what happened but uth utshiswe ngu Eve"

Me:"morning Vince"
Him:"hey"

I looked at his brother..

Me:"babe akho kutya apha,can we go to town"?

Him:"okay gimme a few minutes ndsathetha no Vince babe"
Me:"Vince can wait,my baby can't. Okanye ke just gimme your car ndizihambele"
Him:"uzihambele? Ayizokwenzeka lonto"
Me:"phakama ke sihambe in two minutes i'll be down here dressed already"

I didn't wait for him to respond,when I was done i walked down and caught him ekhupha u Vince,i
gave him a t-shirt saphuma sahamba. We drove in silence until we reached the parking lot

Him:"Vince says Chloe was burnt yesterday and she has been hospitalized"
Me:"good for her"
Ndohlika,he followed and we followed each other in the store until he caught up

Him:"uth utshiswe ngu Eve babe"

Me:"wena no Vince ningenaphi kengok"?
Him:"haibo babe she's our employee,what kinda employers will we look like if we don't care
esezintlungwini"
Me:"I thought we understood each other when I said I want her out with immediate effect"
Him:"since when do you tell me how to run my businesses na S'bongile"?
Me:"oh cut me some slack please,now you do business with tramps? Sluts? Tchin, awna ethics mos
kwa wena! Move out of my way"

I moved to another aisle,he followed with the trolley

Him:"this is not a place for this discussion"

I didn't answer him,we bought a couple of household primary groceries coz i didn't know how long
he'll be around. I bought myself some baking treats,we payed and left.

Him:"you are slowly turning into something I don't think I like"

Me:"you are gradually showing me your true colors"

He looked at me and shook his head,my phone rang and I didn't want him to know its Soso...

Me:"hello"
Him:"mfethu,are you sitting down"?
Me:''yes why''
Him:"I found out that Cleopatra has a one year old son,supported by your man but actually belongs
to Vince"

I took a second to register all of this...

Him:"yes,I think I need you to speak more clearly pls"

Him:"you are with ta Beast right"?
Me:"yes"

Ntando stole a look at me and focused back on the road

Him:"ndithe nqa uske wa stiff nje,ndithi ke lomntana unomntwana no Vincent but waxoka ku ta
Beast wathi umithiswe nguye so uyamondla ke nge maintainance support"
Me:"well I won't lie Iam not surprised,its not unexpected"
Him:"Libhongo utyelwa right under her nose,thats why engagxothwa lamntana ngu Vince"
Me:"mmh,thanks for letting me now. If I think or find anything I will inform you as well"

Waske wahleka u Soso bethuna

Him:"yaz uligqwirha mntasekhaya? Lendoda yakho inoba ayilibali uthetha into enengqondo kule
phone"

Lol i hung up and texted him on whatsapp,meanwhile besesifikile nasendlini I helped ntando offload
sangena endlini. By now i was really hungry,I was even a little dizzy so i sat down and drank a glass of
water,he walked in and sat down on a bar stool across mine

Him:"ugrand"
Me:"dizzy kancinci"
Him:"inoba ulambile kakhulu,uzotya nton ndikwenzele"
Me:"no I'll manage"
Him:"heh haikengok"
Me:"u sure"?
Him:"babe uzotya ntoni"?
Me:"okwangoku I could do with an omelette,but i wanted something sweet"
Him:"oh thats why you bought those baking mixtures"
Me:"yep"

Waphakama and made my breakfast,I just watched him wondering how can a man so wise be played
by a girl like Chloe? A thug so ruthless iqhathwe yi tramp yase Goli man. How did that happen?

HIM:"that look isnt as comforting as I would like it to be"

I snapped outta my thoughts and faked a smile,i texted soso andizamele iproof and mail it back to
me then i got up and went to check what bae was making. I tasted the ome

HIM:"you know you're not supposed to eat from the pot neh"
Me:"ndiyafa fondin,khand'phakele"

He kissed my cheek and dished up for me then made food for himself,we sat down around the
kitchen satya. I ate half and drank my juice then i mixed the chocolate mousse cake mixture

Me:"so what are we doing today"?

Him:"I don't know,what do you have in mind"?
Me:"the usual,all phones off and chilling indoors. You game"?
Him:"do I have a choice"?
Me:"you always have a choice nje babe,are you game nah"?
Him:"I miss you,so yeah. LEts do this"
Me:"good,now pls spray the cake pan sizoqala sibhake before we chill"
Him:"...oh-kay..."

LOL i think he only obliged because he didn't know what I knew,or how much I know so he just kinda
wanted to stay close maybe? I don't really care as long as he was here with me. I had come to notice
that everytime he returned from his trips,we somewhat would have a silly fight brew up between us
instead of embracing each other kucace ba besikhumbulana. After baking the choc cake he helped
me dress it it up in mousse and choc chips then i cut my slice thicker than his,poured ourselves fruit
juice then we went to chill e lounge listening to Jazz

Me:"please switch off your phones"

Him:"ndizoshiys one on,for business"
Me:"they can manage without you for one day Ntando,please. I also need your undivided attention
fondin"

He reached out and turned them off,i did so too kwezam and rested my legs on his lap eating my
cake,he watched me while eating his

Me:"ndikutyela kamnandi neh"

Him:"you have no idea"
Me:"awbaweli ukundityisa"?
Him:"uthen utefa kangaka namhlanje"?
Me:"I don't know,ndiyak'dika"?
Him:"i'm just saying,khandithi uyandidika"
Me:"mmmh,so tell me,including the ones you already have...how many kids do you wanna have in
total"?
Him:"six is enough babe,how many are you thinking of having"?
Me:"just two for me ndiberight coz we already have u SIno no Owe in the picture to make it four"
Him:"so baphelele apho? YOU Don't want more''?
ME:"ha.a tyhini,i'm still young fondini. HOw will I manage a career with abantwana abangaka and
still perform my wifely duties kuwe and ontop of that I'll be umolokazana to your family''
HIM:"you do make a good point,speaking about that topic. I think we should begin with the lobola
negotiations pretty soon coz we do have three months before you give birth,maybe we could take
advantage of that and getting you in a wedding gown ngoku umithi"
Me:"and who's gonna plan a wedding in two months''??
Him:"a wedding planner,relax. You won't even lift a finger"
Me:"mmh,gimme some time to think about it"
hIm:"mmkay"

WE decided to take a nap together,I Knew he needed the rest as much as I did.

#308

When I had rested enough I woke up esalele,left him there and went downstairs ndavula iphone
yam and the Godsent Lwandiso Titus had sent me all the proof I needed on this Chloe chick,I took his
car keys and my phone,one of his phones ndaphuma. I texted Vince asking him which hospital she
was in and all the neccessary details. Isimuncu esingu Vincent sent me everything,lol phofu he
probably thought I'm the owner of the phone. I drove myself there,walked in and straight to her
ward ndafika eyedwa elele ngesisu coz the burns were on her back. I walked up to her
ndamjonga,ndavela ndacinga u Chuma.

Me:"Chloe"
she blinked a few times after opening her eyes,i sat down and looked at her horrified face

Me:"you look like you've seen a ghost,u sharp"

Her:"I need you to leave or i will press this button"
Me:"I am not leaving,just yet. And you are not pressing any buttons until I finish what I came here
for"

She panicked and fiddled trying to find whatever button she was looking for,I watched just smiling
wancama wa calm.

Me:"good,now we can start. Lovie,I came to tell you that you are going to resign e ShisaNyama.
Today"
Her:"I'm going to resign? Says who"?
Me:"says me"

Wandijonga wahleka,I watched her laugh coz i knew i will laugh the most in the end.

Her:"what gives you the idea that I will listen to you? Yho umuncu mntanomntu
ndikuncamile,ucingba just because your sister burnt me with water I will just back down? Umuncu"
Me:"between you and me andimazi oyena umuncu right nowbut thats okay. I understand where
you're coming from"

She looked at me in disgust...

Her:"forget it,i will not resign and indoda yona yeyethu. Keep the ring,I don't care coz he knows my
door when he needs the real deal"

I got up and smiled at her,I knew Ntando was probably awake now.

Me:"I know your dirty little secret. You fucked Ntando while fucking Vincent,got pregnant by Vince
and lied to Ntando about it. He pays maintainance to a child you made him believe is his but its
actually his brother's"

Her face had now transformed...

Me:"I don't know what would Libo say or do if she were to find out. But I know Beast doesn't take
kindly to betrayal...call Vince tell him you want to resign with immediate effect or you will see the
female Beast unleashed coz I will never share a man with you,not now,not in eternity"

I walked towards the door... And stopped

Me:"by immediate effect I mean today,before eleven fifty-nine pm. You dont want your dirty
laundry hung on these Maboneng streets"

I left and went past doctor Chetty's office ndazikhalazisa ngentloko and morning sickeness just so I
could get some prescribtion. Into yongena endlini wethu,she gave me pills and liquid medication
ndahamba ndabuyela ku Ntando ndfika engqengqe on the couch,he looked up as I kissed him and
sat on the other couch with my pharmeutical brown bag with the meds

Him:"you okay? Uvelaphi phof"?

Me:"you already know an answer to that nje...what are we eating for supper"?
Him:"supper? Ndilambe ngoku mna babe,asinozama some lunch kqala"
Me:"did you see time? Ulele right through lunch time kalok wena"
Him:"I'll make the snacks if you agree to make dinner"
Me:"alright,go ahead"

He got up and went to the kitchen,i removed my shoes and bra then I went to make myself a
smoothie whilst waiting for the snacks.

Me:"don't tell me you're making sandwiches"

Him:"snacks madam,snacks"

I took my smoothie back to the lounge and had a chat with Soso on WhatsApp. After a few minutes
Ntando immerged with the snacks and I ate just s few

Him:"ndcela iphone yam"

Me:"i have to make a phone call zokunika"
Him:"transfer airtime to your phone babe undinike iphone"
Me:"I have airtime qha ndfuna u phone'a ngale yakho"

Right then i called Vincent...

Him:"grootman"
Me:"not him,look,i need a favour"
Him:"oh,Tee. What's up"?
Me:"I need to know if Ntando told you that Chloe is no longer working for you"

Ntando looked at me,emotionless.

Him:"erh,no. May I ask why"?
Me:"Tomorrow morning I'll be at the spot,I need to see that she's out of your books"
Him:"Tee that's not how we do business,she could drag us to the CCMA if we don't follow proper
procedures"
Me:"I wasn't asking your opinion,you are the manager you will know how to handle it"
Him:"What's going on? Coz this sounds personal"
Me:"pls tell libhongo I'd like to see her before lunchtime tomorrow"
Him:"Libo? Why? Should i be worried"?
Me:"maybe,but thats none of your business,deal with Chloe then i'll be outta your face"

He breathed...

Him:"okay"
Me:"thank you"

I hung up and gave Ntando his phone...

Him:"I know u hurt but i don't like what you are doing or how you're doing it"
Me:"what meat would you like to eat babe"?
Him:"beef,undimamele phof"

I smiled at him and went to start with dinner preparations. He walked in with our plate and
glasses,rinsed them and sat down

Him:"uphez'kwantoni S'bongile"?
Me:"tiles"
Him:"you know what am talking about"
Me:"actually I dOn't,induldge me love"
Him:"you've been quiet about this Chloe thing,thats kinda unusual from you"
Me:"quiet? I've been nagging you to release her eversince i found out,kanti ufuna ndithini? Stand on
the roof"?
Him:"i don't know okay. I'm used to you throwing tantrums,ultimantums and all of that but now
you're acting weird around this issue,giving orders"
Me:"have you ever thought of the fact that people grow"?

He shook his head and left me to cook in piece. If Chloe didn't resign ngoku i swear her life was on
the brink of its miserable begining.

309

I cooked in silence ndagqiba then I dished up for both of us in one plate then took the food to the
lounge. He wasn't there,i put the food on the table and went upstairs ndafika he was panting to and
fro talking on the phone I just stood by the door,leaned on it and waited for him to notice that I'm
here and he did

Him:"babe just gimme a few minutes"

Me:"kay"

I went back downstairs and had my dinner,he came down and threw his phone on the other couch
and I gave him the whole plate coz I was already full. I got up

Him:"sew'yolala"?
Me:"yeah"
Him:"I have somewhere to be for a couple minutes,but I won't be long"
Me:"mmh"

I went upstairs,changed and got in bed then I called my brother..the newly found brother.

Him:"mtasekhaya"
I don't know why that word made me emotional.. I suddenly had a lump on my throat.
Me:"hey you,unjani"?
Him:"i'm good,uthen umtana ingath ukhathazekile nje"
Me:"umtana udiniwe bhuti"
Him:"talk to your brother,whats up"

I took a deep breath...

Me:"I have tried,but its still hard to forgive and forget what your dad did to my mother including
how I was conceived"
Him:"give it time,I can only imagine what its like but in the end akho mlambo uzamvasa kuwo he is
your father too"
Me:"I don't have that kinda time ngoku,Ntando wants to begin with the negotiations"
Him:"doesn't he know le situation ukuyo kanti"?
Me:"uyamazi u Ntando Gudda fondini"
Him:"so what do you have in mind ke"
Me:"would you mind going with Luu and Marc for me? Thats just what i can come up with right
now"
Him:"I'm honored that you even considered me but singabaXhosa mtase we have to do the right
thing,the right way"
Me:"so thats a no"?
Him:"I could only stand in for dad if he was still in prison"
Me:"i get you,well I guess I should just stick to my lane and let my two brothers handle everything"
Him:"if that will make you happy then do it,look,I hope you don't feel like I don't wanna help you"
Me:"no I understand bhut' don't worry about it"
Him:"once again,don't rush into anything. Especially just to keep a man"
Me:"thank you,good night neh"
Him:"goodnight sis"

I hung up and called Marcus

Him:"little sister"
Me:"hey boet,how are you"
Him:"goed en jy"
Me:"goed...I have a bone to pick with you"
Him:"okay shoot"
Me:"Ntando wants to begin the lobola negotiations..do you know what that is"
Him:"oh cummon,I'm blacker than you ever could be"
Me:"haha I just had to ask"
Him:"are you ready to be his wife though"?
Me:"I wouldn't be wearing his ring if I wasn't ready"
Him:"true,I just don't see the rush. You just found your dad, I'm sure he can wait till you settle and
get used to that idea of having another family besides the Smiths"
Me:"he wanted the child to be born into a solid home though"
Him:"what difference will that make? Look,if he loves you for real then he will understand and wait
for the right timing"
Me:"i hear you"
Him:"I hope you understand I want whats best for you"
Me:"I do,and I love you"
Him:"alright goodnight"
me:"night bro"

so after hanging up,I realized that the timing really wasn't right. What's the rush? I have this Chloe
drama on top of my list and my baby on the way so nyhan man I needed to take things slow and on
top of all these things,I had this new family to sort out and maybe bond with if it even comes to that.
Nando returned after an hour and i was fast asleep,I felt him getting in the covers but I didn't move
an inch. The following morning I was woken up by a ringing phone

Me:"mh"?
Him:"Tee,Chloe doesn't want to resign. My hands are tied"
Me:"mxm"

I hung up and got off the bed,I went to bath ndabuya and called Libhongo while sitting on the bed

Her:"hey Tee,I got your message from Vince izolo"

Me:good,but I'd like us to meet for breakfast. Not lunch"
Her:"oh,okay. Should I be worried"?
Me:"I don't know,can we meet"?
Her:"sure,text me the place I'll be there"
Me:"sure"

I hung up and got dressed,Ntando was awake...

Him:"going somewhere"?
Me:"good morningyes I'm going out for breakfast and I'm taking your car. Bye,love you"

I kissed his dry lips and left him right there,he followed and met me at the parking lot

Him:"here"

He gave me his black card

Me:"thanks"

I started the car and left,he didn't say much like I expected he would. On the way i texted libo our
meeting place then i went toprint out my proof for her, shame ndafika sephaya.

I greeted and ordered,she did so too then satya senza some small talk until we were both halfway

Her:"okay,i know we're not friends so why are we here"?

Me:"have you seen umntana ka chloe"?
Her:"yes why"?
Me:"do you know the father"?
Her:"no,she's always been cagey and mysterious about him"

I gave her the documents wazithatha

HER:"what's this"?
Me:"proof that Chloe's child is your boyfriend's child"
Her:"what"?
Me:"Vincent,is her babydaddy sweedy"!

If there was no proof I knew she wouldnt believe me,but right now...all proof was here,what choice
did she have?

#310

Her:"no,no,no. This can't be true. Vince would never do this to me"

Again she looked at the papers,a tear dropped as reality kicked in.

Her:"That bitch played me like a fool"

Me:"I'm sorry"
Her:"how could I have been so clueless? Stupid?"
Me:"she's clearly a master at these things,don't blame yourself"
Her:"Le ngane ay'ngazi kahle ngizoy trappa like nobody's business but ngizoqala ngo Vince. How
could he"?

I kept quiet
She cleaned herself up,downed her juice and packed the documents in her bag wahamba. I ate my
food finish,taking my time then I settled the bill and left. I drove to Wimpy for their chocolate shake
then straight to Ntando's apartment. He was busy on his laptop,I knew for sure he was tracking my
movement coz his car has a tracker. I hung the keys and sat down drinking my shake,he closed the
laptop packed it away and looked at me

Me:"sup"?
Him:"ngendbuza kuwe,what exactly are you orchestrating S'bongile"?
Me:"i have checkup nextweek uzobe uselapha"?
Him:"you see? Once again you're changing the subject"
Me:"oh-kay. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed"

I put his card on the table

Me:"thanks alot"
Him:"are you ever gonna answer me"?
Me:"I do not have the energy Ntando. Are we going to go back and forth with the same question
everyday"?
Him:"If you answered me kwayizolo I would have dropped it"
Me:"haike"
Him:"so that means nangoku aw'zondiphendula? Should I leave,give you space"?
Me:"uyaphi"?
Him:"eKapa ofcoz,ndize kuwe apha but clearly you are too busy with whatever it is that occupies
you"
Me:"really Ntando? Like,nyhani"?
Him:"really what baby? talk to me,scream shout,do whatever it is that you wanna do,do it then we
can move on"
Me:"you wanna talk huh?"
Him:"yes"
Me:"okay,tell me ke Z'khali why did you lie to me about Chloe?"
Him:"we're going there again? Good Lord"!
Me:"uh-uh,not so fast. Tell me baby,what is it that she has that I don't? What is it that she does for
you that I have never done"?
Him:"this is ridiculous,I apologized about this. Why are we going back to it now again"?
Me:"you wanted to talk,now talk"
Him:"watch your tone S'bongile"
Me:"or what? Heh Ntando,yaz u busy uzenza isgora apha kum kodwa umuncu"?
Him:"did you just say ndimuncu S'bongile"?
Me:"I think we should close all windows kungena umoya klendlu,awutsho wena babe"?

He got up and went to the kitchen,wabuya and looked at me

Him:"did you just tell me ndimuncu? As in Stupid"?

Me:"uyay'bona lento ndiy'thethayo? Umuncu babe as in sour"
He sat on the edge of the couch and buried his face between his knees before looking up at
me,speaking in an angry,icy,steel voice

Him:"don't ever repeat it. I don't care how hurt you are,but don't ever repeat that sentence"
Me:"oh okay,so xandfunukuthi umuncu funeka ndithini? Ndithi u domu"?

He chuckled,getting angrier every minute that passed by

Him:"mas'yeke. Before I do something I will later regret"

Me:"awnothi mandithethe and then when I do uthi mas'yeke. Unless ke when you look at me you
see a wireless radio that you can turn on and off anytime you feel like"
Him:"this is not talking,you are insulting me qha into oyenzayo. Obubumuncu bungaka obubone nini
khona''?
Me:"if this is not talking then clearly I need a degree for sign langauge. Ke le yokuba muncu
ndiyibone ngoske wondlele u Vincent umntwana"
Him:"what?''
Me:"erh,bekhe ndathi we should close these windows,uyazbona ba awuva ngoku"?
Him:"uthi ndondlela u Vince umntana? Ngumntaka ban lowo"?
Me:"lo wakhe no Chloe"
Him:"so lemme get this straight...you knew everything about this child and yet kungona
undixelelayo? How dies Vince fit in here? How did you even find out"?
Me:"baby baby! Do you now realize that umuncu? U dom infact"?

He sat down and looked at me,on my way home I had made copies for him too coz I knew he
wouldn't believe me.

Me:"I need to take a nap,ina z'bonele ba umuncu ude wabonwa nayi tramp yase Goli yakutya yade
yakukhukhuza ntwana yam. Ndiselapha kemna nobanda kwam"

I put the papers on the table and went upstairs.

#311

A few minutes after I left him I heard the door bang,then the car screeching out. I turned my phones
off ndalala,I wasn't gonna stress myself ngomtu omdala with his own brain,mind and sense of
reasoning. An hour and a half later I woke up and went downstairs, Vince was there with Ntando
ndabulisa and went straight to the kitchen where I made myself something to eat gqiba ndayityela
pha I wasn't in the mood to talk to any of those two. Ndithe ndsatya I saw Ntando coming in
enyoshoza ngath yinja ebe amaqanda,he sat right across me
Him:"babe"
I just looked at him.
Him:"I need to know how you found out bout leway yalomtana coz no Vince ebengayaz ba
ngowakhe"
Me:"uyand'qhela kodwa Ntando,out of everything that you should be to me right now und'buza
obobubhanxa? Really"?
Him:"okay,okay I'm sorry babe. I'm sorry"

I got up and rinsed my utensils then I went back upstairs ndapakisha into zam. Vince walked in

Him:"she resigned"

I don't know why ezoxelela mna coz not so long ago ebethe she doesn't want to resign so I just
continued with what I was doing

Him:"I'm sorry Tee,I know I should have listened to you from the word go"

I took my bag downstairs and Ntando got up in shock and came forward taking my bag into his hands

Me:"babe khasuke tana"

Him:"babe you are being irrational now,look,ndiyayaz ndenze rongo but pls baby lets find a way to
work through this like we always do"
Me:"uzand'godusa or should I call a cab"?
Him:"Nalique pls don't do this"
Me:"a cab it is"

I slightly pushed him out of my way and called a cab,Vince followed me ezond'cenga

Him:"Tee don't do this mfethu"

I wanted to answer him but kwathi gqi uLibo waphuma out of her car with a washing basket full of
clothes and two suitcases that she threw right at Vince and got back into her car and left,Ntando saw
all of this coz naye ebesephumile

Me:"hm,jonga lomntu umcengelayo akaku cengeli wena. Khandyeke ndihambe,and leave yall with
your troubled souls"

the cab came through ndakhwela ndagoduka.

...
Ntando spent two months in Joburg tryna fix le mess he got himself into,I lived my normal daily life
like nothing happened and on top of it all,I was just glad I was a month away from delivery so very
soon I was to be a mother. I had something to look forward to,something greatly beautiful and
precious. On the day of his departure to Cape Town Ntando went to my crib fika ndingekho so he
called...

Me:"ta Beast"?
Him:"hey,I'm at your frontgate ndcela uvule"
Me:"andikho"
Him:"oh,uphi"?
Me:"ufuna nton charlie"?
Him:"I want us to talk. Please"
Me:"hay fondin I dont wanna talk to you"
Him:"baby please"
Me:"say what you wanna say undiyeka ndifunde mtchana I have an exam coming up"
Him:"ndiyahamba namhlanje there's something that needs me in Cape Town"
Me:"that's it"?
Him:"yes,I was hoping we could resolve a couple of issues before I go"
Me:"I have no issues to resolve with you sthandwa sam"
Him:"have you spoken to your brothers"?
Me:"regarding"?
Him:"regarding the negotiations"
Me:"oh that,it will have to wait. We still some growing to do before we commit our lives to each
other forever"
Him:"haibo baby"
Me:"ndlela ntle tata"
Him:"Nalique ndiyakucela. The nigga grovelling here, pls"
Me:"I have to go,text me ofika kwakho so that I know uhambe kakuhle nyhani"

Then I hung up.

With me Ntando doesn't do texting,he calls. Kakade ufundiswe zezi nyatsi kwa oko texta so he did
call wath ufikile ndathi sho and hung up. For the last month of my pregnancy I buried myself in my
books coz I really needed Good marks for the LegalWise internship. I wrote my exams in a good
space,varsity closed for winter holidays then I decided to go to East London khendiyohlala ekhaya,i
was glad that the house hadn't been sold just yet. Felt good to be back home..the memories were
mixed from happy to sorrowfully painful but I guess that's what I needed ek'gqibeleni coz this is the
only home I know. After two weeks I received a call from Luu

Me:"Lulu"?
Him:"hey where are you"?
Me:"East London,why"
Him:"no I just popped in and found the house empty"
Me:"oh sorry man,I needed a breather"
Him:"otherwise all is good"?
Me:"yep,everything is fine"
Him:"okay then,enjoy"
Me:"thanks"

We hung up...right after that Soso called

Me:"Lwandiso Titus"
Him:"hay ungak'linge undenzele lonto mna yinton ngoku"
Me:"fokof Soso man"
Him:"eshe! Heh wethu awbaweli ndizokuhlalisa? Lindo has gone home again and CT Can be boring"
Me:"iza babe,if awonqeni udibana no mamakho every now and then"
Him:"what is she doing in Jozi"?
Me:"ndim ose Monti"
Him:"yhooo! Worse ke lamajita asemzinakho ebefuna ubangapha for a week"
Me:"mmh,why don't you go to Durbs kubo wena"?
Him:"those Zulu girls will make me unfaithful mtase,andfuni tu ukuya pha"
Me:"aw'muncu mfethu"
Him:"haska! Mamela,I'll tell them I was forced to go to EL yabo,if bathi nabo bayeza then sofikela
endlini but I'm sure we'll probably spend the days with you"
Me:"mmkay,ndizova ngawe ke darly"
Him:"sharp ntwana"
Having the twins here meant Ntando will know my whereabouts,my every move. Not that I care or
that ndiyamfihlela but I enjoy hearing the uncertainity of his voice when he's clueless. But I couldn't
say no ku Soso, i just had to wait and see how it plays out.

So the guys came on the last week of my stay in EL Bafikela kulo Soso but as he promise they spent
every day with me bagoduke ngoyolala. Even Landile joined them,somehow things weren't as
awkward between us anymore thanks to Kuhle who made us talk like adults should,at the end of the
day we had a past that we couldn't change. Life goes on. On the fourth day we decided to go to Haga
Haga nje just to play some games and have fun with nature... They met ladies :v I met animals. On
our return home we stopped at Steers for a bite,sohlika sonke and found a table while Kay and Laa
went to order for us...then I looked outside for a second and saw a convoy of black cars parked on
the other side. I knew immediately that any minute I will spot a gangsta...here. Sancokola njee
namajita and then I heard a familiar voice

Her:"but daddy you are unfair,you promised to take us back for the rollercoaster ride"
Him:"but Sino ku late ngoku and your brother needs to take his meds"

Sihle turned and looked at their direction while I buried my face kwi tab yam Soso was busy on the
phone with his girl,the kids saw Sihle and came running then they saw me. I looked up acting
surprised as we hugged and kissed

Owe:"awusemhle sisi"
Me:"thank you boy,nibahle nani"
Sino:"mama ufike nini eMonti"?
Me:"erh..not so long ago nana"
Sino:"ooh,Daddy was gonna borrow me his phone tonight I wanted to call you"
Me:"luckily here I am"

She hugged me again then Ntando asked me aside for a minute so we left the kids with the guys and
walked to his car outside. I merely touched the car with my back when I felt his lips on mine. The
shock and adrenaline rush plus the intimacy and hunger in his kiss really caught me offgaurd but got
me engaged and somehow excited. I allowe him to kiss me right in that public space,and I kissed him
back pulling him even closer..then we slowed down and stopped.

Him:"each and everyday that passes I love you more and more. Please,forgive me once again. One
last time"
Me:"you've gotta earn my forgiveness this time around"
Him:"I'll do whatever it takes"

I lifted up my face and kissed him one more time before leaving him wanting more,he called his guys
baphuma nabantwana bahamba I ate my food with my niggas sagoduka.

#312

We spent the last few days together then the double twin pack flew to Durban while I flew to
Jo'burg. My last checkup with the doctor was in two days and I wasn't gonna call Ntando coz he
knows my dates,he insisted on diarizing them so when the day finally came,I drove myself to the
doctors office and did my thing then I was given another date incase I didnt give birth as yet. When I
left that office I went straight to Mugg and Bean,I have been craving their cheese cake for weeks
now. A waitor came to my table,I ordered the cheesecake as a takeaway and then a glass of mango
juice while waiting. To my displeasure,the guy wasn't the one who brought the juice,Chloe did.
Her:"here's your juice"

I looked up surprised that she found a job so quick...then i just got up and took my bag

Her:"Trina I'm sorry. For everything"

I turned and gave her one helluva klap between the eyes,before she could even scream in shock i
splashed her with that juice ndamshiya ejongwe ngabantu,got in my car and drove to the
ShisaNyama and found an empty table ndahlala. A new girl came to take my order then she left,Libo
walked in for her shift and she spotted me weza

Her:''hi"
Me:"Libhongo"
Her:"I never really got a chance to thank you"
Me:"it was never about you in the first place"
Her:"I kinda figured that out,but thank you once again for opening my eyes"
Me:"mmh,ni grand no Vince"?
Her:"I don't know,I asked for space. I need time to think about everything"
Me:"don't break up with him if you still love him,that will make your dear friend victorious"
Her:"I don't trust him,and I don't wanna be that insecure girlfriend I was when we first got to know
you"
Me:"I'm sorry. Genuinely"
Her:"yeah well,this is life. Bye bye before I become late"
Me:"sure"

My takeaway came ndagoduka.

....
Varsity reopened and then hard work was just my daily meal. Seeing that Ntando had the ability to
cheat like he did no Chloe was more the motivation I needed to be independant so my mission was
to get that internship and save money for my child coz I don't really know what the future beholds.
On the first week of August I had a scare while in class,an ambulance was called for me I went to the
hospital but the doctor said it was still too early and that I should go home and rest,he even gave me
iphepha to submit at school gqiba ndiyohlala endlini. That same week I later recieved an email that I
was chosen to be among the five students who were selected by LegalWise to take part in the
internship...in Port Elizabeth :o yes I was excited but that meant I was gonna work double if not
triple coz by the time the internship starts,my baby will hopefully be in his/her third month and I will
have to submit my last modules via faxes and emails every night after work.

Ntando came to Jozi weza endlini I opened for him and returned to the couch I was on

Him:"unjani"?
Me:"good you"?
Him:"I'm good,sorry I missed your checkup"
Me:"sho"

Wakhe wathi cwaka...

Him:"I brought you these"

I took the shopping bag and took out the contents,cake from Charlies,a batch of Lindt
chocolate,grapes and plain yoghurt,strawberries and two Ultramel custards.
Me:"thanks"
Him:"am I forgiven"?
Me:"forgiveness isn't bought Ntando,its earned just like respect"
Him:"okay ke baby what do I have to do so that ubone ba I'm really sorry"?
Me:"I don't know,but I uhm,need the keys to my house though"
Him:"your house? The one in PE"?
Me:"thats the only house I have"
Him:"ohkay,uzoya nini"?
Me:"I'm not sure but before the year runs out"
Him:"uyohlala babe or uya for a holiday"?
Me:"babe uzandinika these keys or what"?
Him:"ndizakunika kalok,I just wanna know"
Me:"mmh"

He spent that day,and the next ekhaya then he went to attend to his businesses. On the 8th of
August ekuzeni kusa I knew I was in labour...the pain I was in,my waist and back were killing me but
nonetheless I woke up and bathed,I got dressed and took everything I knew I would need then I
walked slowly down the stairs. I thought I would be able to drive myself but I saw the impossibility of
that when I took more than fifteen minutes just to get to the bottom of the stairs so I called
Ntando,he picked up after one ring

Him:"baby"?

Ooh I thanked God that he wasn't asleep

Me:"uphi"?
Him:"I'm on my way to the airport love,why"?
Me:"geez Ntando its past three am uyaphi"?
Him:"the Cape,what's up? Uthen ukhefuzela na"
Me:"ndiyalunywa fondin"!
Him:"wha- whoah okay,okay lemme drop ezi chap at the airport then I'll come straight to you"

Then my water broke,I swear that scared the shit outta me

Me:"Ntando"
Him:"Baby"?
Me:"my water just broke. If you don't get here now I swear I'm gonna give birth right here"
Him:"shit! Okay sulila kalok ndiyeza"
He hung up,i leaned towards the wall. I couldn't sit down... I walked to the kitchen and boiled water
ndenza i herbal tea with honey,ndthe ndsaqala uphunga I heard a hooting car outside,I opened the
gate yangena. He rushed to the door wafika ndphunga lol watyhafa

Him:"oh kay... Uyaphunga"

Me:"can we go"?
Him:"sure,wheres your bag"?

I pointed at the bag he took it. I took my flask mug and locked the house then got in the back
passenger seat where there were two other guys,I greeted and asked one to take the front seat
yaphephetheka imoto ka Ntando ukuya esibhedlele. Jonga ukungena pha,to find a wheelchair and
actually take me to maternity all happened in a matter of seconds. I got there and changed into a
gown then got on the bed,the doctor checked the centimetres only to find the head already peeping
Doc:"okay young lady,at the count of 10 push hard"

I just nod and did my part,after a couple of pushes I heard a baby cry. It is only when they gave
Ntando the baby that I realized he's been here all along. As he took his son I saw a bright sparkle in
his eyes,something I haven't really seen ever. Just as I thought all was over...
Doc:"erh,I'm gonna need you to push again Miss Smith. I think there's still something in there"

My jaw dropped.
Like,I was already feeling like I ran a marathon and now I had to go through all of that again? Ntando
looked at my reluctant face

Him:"you can do this baby,just take a deep breath"

The doctor urged me once again,I obliged and pushed a few more times. This time I didn't have
much strength and all that pushing was accompanied by tears

Doc:"just one more push young lady,5,4,3,2, and push"

I pushed with all my might then I heard a lazy cry,I couldn't believe it.

Nurse:"congratulations,its another boy"

She put the baby on my chest,i couldn't help but cry even more. How could I possibly thank God for
such great gifts? I felt Ntando kissing my forehead ndamjonga with teary eyes

Him:"enkosi baby"

I didn't really have any words,he followed the nurses bayovasa abantwana while I went to bath
myself and returned to a new ward ndafika ndalala. When I woke up, he was still here

Him:"hey"
I smiled faintly
Me:"hey"
Him:"how are you feeling"?
Me:"painful...and hungry"
Him:"I got you food"
Me:"enkosi"
Then I went to the bathroom and came back

Me:"i must say,I thought you would be in CT by now"

Him:"the gents can handle things without me"
Me:"don't stay on my account,you know I'm a big girl"

I searched for my bag in the locker next to the bed and took out my own warm gown ndanxiba along
with socks and slippers

Him:"I want to be here. With you and my boys"

I weighed what he was saying...
Him:"you don't believe me do you"?
Me:"speaking of my boys,baphi"?
Him:"base nursary,lets go fetch them"
We walked in silence alongside each other safika pha ndaxakana nento,its not even funny. Ntando
just stood there and watched me,he was actually enjoying this,seeing me out of my depth and
almost confused. How does one recognise their own child when almost every baby looks the same?

#313

He stood next to me,still with that amused smile

Him:"don't tell me aw'baboni abantwana bakho"

There were about fifteen other newborn babies so I took a walk all the nursary and then smiled to
myself as I bent down slowly picking one,lol I first checked his arm band and saw my name on it. He
took the second one sabuyela back to my ward there I got a chance to look at them properly as they
next to each other,a tear trickled down my cheek I wiped it away

Me:"I feel like God has been there from day one...is it possible that He is closing juniors gap"?
Him:"maybe,truth is He's always there"

I asked for my phone wandinika,I took a picture and sent to all my brothers and sisters and ofcoz
Soso. He was the first one to call...

Me:"hey"
Him:"hewethu,like really ntwana yam"?
Me:"really Soso"
Him:"twins? Yhooo. Isn't it painful though"
Me:"heee,so I'm supposed to discuss birthpains with you? Really"?
Him:"no darly what I meant to say is congrats,I'll come see them next month okay"
Hahaha
Me:"ayt man"

We hung up... I could see Ntando wanted to say or ask something

Me:"say it"
Him:"say what"?
Me:"whatever it is thats goin on in your head"

He took a deep breath..

Him:"I was wondering if you have thought or decided on names yet"

Me:"names"
Him:"names yes. For the babies"

I wasn't given a chance to do that :v I hadn't really thought about anything,I was still in awe of this
whole thing. I looked at him and shrugged wahleka

Me:"suhleka fondin,I was never expecting twins okay? I'm still in shock"
Him:"the Home Affairs lady will be here by two to make certificates"
Me:"ohkay,what do you have in mind? Not that I'm gonna use it,but maybe it could trigger
something"
Him:"anything with Thando or Ntando"
Me:"I should have known"

Wahleka.
I gave him their clothes abanxibise while I took a couple of bites kokukutya that he had bought for
me. When they were done and I had eaten,I tried breastfeeding and it wasn't as easy as it looked.
Look,I tried but how do you teach a baby how to suckle? I swear I never thought it would be this
frustrating, I gave up ndababeka next to each other gqiba ndathula

Him:"baby"
Me:"save it"

He moved from his chair and came to me,he lifted my chin forcing me to look at him.

Him:"you don't have to give up so easily,wait for the nurse I'm sure they'll guide you"
Me:"dude,isn't this supposed to come naturally? But look at me,I cant even do it"
Him:"once they guide you,it will come naturally babe don't stress yourself about it"

I had a lump in my throat,I was saved by a nurse who walked in. Ntando told her andkwaz uncancisa
and she gladly showed me the ropes but one twin didn't even make an effort so we fed him with the
syringe. Later Ntando left,Luu and Cve came to check on me they laughed when I told them I didn't
have names. The Home Affairs lady also came and left coz I still didn't know what to call them.
Second day,Marc came with Liz,Gudda,Eve and Lwando and they were all in much shock like I was.
Later they all left me with my babies,I got a call from Keri

Me:"big sis"
Her:"congratulations sweety"
Me:"thanks hey"
Her:"so what are their names"?
Me:"erh...now thats a problem"
Her:"a problem"?
Me:"I don't have names yet,all their father wants is anything with his name or anything similar to it"
Her:"haha! All men want that,take your time you will get em eventually"
Me:"yeah"
Her:"do you want me to come over and help you or you'll still bring them this side"?
Me:"ey I don't know. Ntando said he'll hire a helper but I don't know if he's still on that"
Her:"alright then"
Me:"thanks for the call ey"
Her:"anytime. Goodnight love"
Me:"night sis"

What kinda mother doesn't know what to name her own babies?

#314

Ntando called to check up on me,then I slept throughout the night.

Woke up the following morning,fed my babies and then went to bath them. Ntando called while I
was dressing his babies

Me:"Ntabeni"
Him:"Mrs,I'm about to leave the house is there anything you want"?
Me:"erh...cela uye ekhaya call Eve ayokuvulela and bring me leggings"
Him:"yho u Eve yityhin'iphi can't I just buy them"?
Me:"if you wanna"
Him:"kay,anything to eat"?
Me:"I don't know,anything without too much fat"
Him:"alright,see you just now"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and put them back to sleep,that HA lady walked in and made me fill in some forms to
make certificates then she left. I wanted Ntando to come already coz I wanted to go and bath but I
didn't wanna leave my babies all alone. I lay next to them finally having named them and I admired
their cute little faces,our doctor walked in smiling

Doc:"Miss Smith,how are you today"?

Me:"all will be good if I could go home doc"
Doc:"just wait for the birthday certificates then I'll discharge you"
Me:"oh Thank you so much"
Doc:"you're welcome,take care of these cuties"

I just smiled,she did her checks thoroughly then left just as Ntando walked in and came to kiss his
babies then tried to kiss my lips I gave him my cheek I know that upset him but I wasn't tryna upset
him,it just happened.

Him:"your food"
Me:"thanks"

I took the food,put it on top of the locker he gave me another packet from which I removed my new
leggings,he had bought two so I put it aside then I went to bath leaving him with his kids. I returned
and saw an envelope in his hands

Me:"what's that"?
He gave me the envelope,I opened it and saw the certificates
Him:"nice names"
Me:"thanks"

We just sat in this silence. Awkward silence that is.

Him:"S'bongile"?
Me:"Ntando"
Him:"what is it that I must do to be forgiven by you"?
Me:"what are you talking about"?
Him:"you know very well what I'm talking about,you don't engage or communicate any more. That's
not you"
Me:"but siyathetha ngoku"
Him:"only because I spoke first"
Me:"okay I forgive you,can we move on now"?
Him:"you see"?
Me:"Haike I don't know what you want from me"
Him:"I wanna know how you feeling,talk to me. Don't just throw me with forgiveness"

I just shook my head and started packing,the doctor did say I'm going home right after I have
received the certs so akhonto ndiyihleleleyo apha.

Him:"Nalique"
I stopped and looked at him..

Me:"would you still be here if I wasn't pregnant"?

Him:"huh"?
Me:"you've always told me how much you love me but your actions will speak something else,which
makes me wonder if you really love me or you're still sticking around because of this,these children
that we made"
Him:"S'bongile I love you,I am with you because I love you. It was never about the pregnancy from
the begining"
Me:"if you say so"
Him:"what does that mean kengok"?

The doctor walked in with my discharge papers,I signed saphatha one-one and he also took the bag
saphuma,got in his car then we drove in silence for a while until he spoke up

Him:"where am I taking you"?

Me:"home"
Him:"how will you manage alone with twins uqala noba nabantwana"?
Me:"I don't know okay,I don't know. If you knew better then why ask me in the first place"?
Him:"mxm"
Me:"mxm yourself"

He looked at me through the rear mirrow waqhuba imoto wayondibeka ekhaya then he helped me
inside with my things. Upstairs I made the bed then turned on the heater oko ndthule

Him:"if there's nothing else ndiyahamba"

Me:"sizozithenga nini izinto zabantwana"?
Him:"write down what you need I'll bring em ksasa"
Me:"am I still getting a helper"?
Him:"we never really concluded on that remember"?
Me:"oh-kay"
Him:"I'll do some research then we'll conduct an interview of the top 3"
Me:"kay...thanks"
Him:"night"
Me:"night"

He left,after I heard his car leave I went to lock up. Ndabuya ndazama ulala but I couldn't coz the
kids suddenly couldn't sleep,they were crying nonstop and I didn't know what to do anymore. After
two and a half hours Ntando called and by now I was also crying

Me:"e'low"
Him:"are you crying? Kuthen abantwana belila"?
Me:"I don't know,they don't wanna sleep"
Him:"but they were asleep when I left nje"

Ndathula mna,bendinesingqala crying silently.

Him:"do you want me to come over"?

I don't know. Do these babies hate me already? Why bezokhala kangaka xabehleli nam qha?

315

He waited for an answer

Me:"if you don't mind ndcela uzos'thatha"

Him:"uyay'bona lento bendiy'thetha"
Ndathula and just went to open the gate for him,he hung up with a hiss. I took one baby and
breasfed him but wakhala still,even though he was suckling. I fed the other nge sarinji that we got
from the hospital,I heard Ntando driving in and in a few minutes later I heard his footsteps then
wangena and took the baby on the bed wamthuthuzela. When he was quiet I gave him the second
one then I packed my things,they only had two pairs of rompas since I had bought a set of two zikwi
special kwa Earth Child,plus the other vests,socks and beanies that my fam bought for them when
they went to visit. Ndapakisha ke nezinto zabo zothambisa abazthengelwa ngu Eve,by the time I was
done packing bekuthe nkcwee ngath akho bantwana kulendlu

Me:"we can go"

Him:"everything packed"?
Me:"yeah"

He picked up Ubabalo(Favour/Grace) and took my bag,I took Uvelile(He has appeared) and their bag
since it was smaller and less heavier. I locked the house sahamba saya kwa Ntando ndafika mna
ndayobeka umtana e bedroom then I took out the list of meds that Keri gave me,apparently you had
to have them just incase and there was some camphor i had to mix with their Vaseline,kwatsho
umama ka Ntando ke kuleyo. I restructured the list and included everything I thought they would
need.
After ebeke umtana he came to the computer desk I was busy on

Him:"andphekanga ke apha,awlambanga"?
Me:"no ndi grand thanks"

He went to bed ndashiyeka mna ndibusy constructing this list,when I was done I went to make
myself rooibos tea and sat down e lounge. I must have blacked out there coz ndothuswa ngu Ntando
waking me up,umtana elila I just looked at him and went to put the cup e kitchen then came back

Him:"ulele on the couch? Do you know what time it is"?

Me:"I must have dozed off Ntando I'm sorry okay"
Him:"yeah whatever,ina ncancisa umtana"

I looked at my hands,they were suddenly fidgety,like I was nervous.

Him:"S'bongile ina umtana ufuna uncanca"

I tried to take the child but I couldn't,my hands suddenly weakened...the baby almost fell down
Ntando wamganga and looked at me with a mixture of anger,disappointment and confusion then he
took the baby back upstairs. Ndehla ngodonga,my hands were quivering like crazy and then I was
suddenly emotional...I cried my heart out,wabuya and knelt down infront of me hugging me until I
had no more tears. Then I got up and sat on the couch hugging my knees

Him:"what's going on witchu"?

Me:"I don't know"
Him:"uphantse wamwisa umtana S'bongile kodwa you don't know? If this one of your stunts you
better stop now"
Me:"they hate me okay,those babies hate me Ntando"
He looked at me,I knew if he had the guts he'd klap the hell outa my brains.

Him:"uphambene S'bongile"?
I just looked at my toenails
Him:"they are what? A week old? If not less,how in the world is it possible for them to hate you"?
Me:"explain why bekhala xabe kum bathule kuwe? Can't you see that they don't like me"?
He took a deep breath...

Him:"look at me...baby look at me"

I lifted my wet,red eyes sajongana

Him:"your babies don't only love you they need you,you hear me"?
I just looked at him

Him:"lets go upstairs,you'll see what I'm talking about"

I reluctanty walked infront of him as we went up,when we reached the bedroom I sat down and
looked at their innocent little faces but somehow I felt like I wasn't good enough for them. I couldn't
really explain these surfacing strange feelings but I kinda felt rejected,Ntando being didn't count one
bit. He sat down and admired them then looked me

Him:"talk to me,what is going on in your mind right now"?

If only I could explain it,not so long ago I was over the moon when I looked at them,what changed?
When? And why?

I just got up and went to shower,bekusile already. I took a whole hour then ndaphuma

Him:"I need to go and buy these things,will you be okay"?

Me:"yeah you can go"

He kissed them then came to kiss my lips and left. I was left alone again nabantwana,I prayed to God
bangavuki coz I hated having to shush them and they just don't cooperate yet Ntando only puts
them on his chest bathule. What was wrong with my own chest dan? Speaking of chest,my boobs
were sooo painful and the nurse told me that only happens when they are full :/ now i had to
breastfeed? I wasn't gonna wake these babies up engekho u Ntando mna. Tu.

316

Its like they heard my prayers,an hour passed belele so I just lay next to them just watching them. I
feared falling asleep what if I wake up and they are gone? What if I sleep through and not here them
cry? I was in this dark place of not understanding myself at all. Ntando came in exhabashile

Him:"did they wake up"?

Me:"ha.a"
Him:"okay,I made some groceries,lets go have breakfast then we'll bath the kids"
Me:"I'm not hungry and you can bath them,I'll mix the water for you"

He didn't answer me but he undressed his sons,he got up and went to mix water in their new bath
tub then I mixed their bathing foam just a little then I watched him bath the First one,then the
second one. I detached tags from their clothes as he lotioned them

Him:"come here"
Me:"baby please"
Him:"just come closer"

I stepped closer to them

Him:"put his nappy on"
Me:"he's gonna cry nje,please just do it yourself"
Him:"you're his mother,their mother. They need their mother to nurture them ndiyak'cela Khwalo
please"

I took the nappy ndanxibisa owokuqala,he didn't cry but I did. Then I moved on to the second
one,I'm sure my hands were coldish coz he flinched a few times while I wore him the nappy then just
as I finished he started crying ndamyeka. Ntando pulled my arm ndaphinda ndamthatha and actually
took him to my chest wancanca. I was having shortness of breaths but I didn't wanna say
anything,just incase he doesn't believe me. I've always feared rejection. And uphoxwa was not on
the cards. When I thought he was full I removed him,put him to bed and went to clean myself up
ndachitha amanzi and cleaned up the room,when Ntando got bored of watching me he went to
make breakfast for himself
....
Three weeks later,my behaviour had escalated from bad to worse. I had eating and sleeping
disorders,Ntando had to cancel anything and everything that he had lined up coz he too was
confused by my behaviour until one day he decided to take me to the doctor to have me checked
out. Well I didn't know we were going to the doctor until we parked outside.

Me:"what are we doing here"?

Him:"ndizise wena"
Me:"uzise mna? You know you could have just asked me instead of this ambush"
Him:"I don't wanna fight,I'm just tryna find out what's wrong witchu okay? Now please lets go
inside"

We got out and walked side-by-side into the doctors office. Ntando had a chat with the doctor about
me then all questions were referred to me.

Doc:"tell me how are you feeling right now"

Me:"overwhelmed"
Doc:"okay,how do you feel when you see your new borns"
Me:"can we please not go there"
Doc:"and why's that"?
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes,tryna stop the tears threatening my eyes with such high
force

Doc:"Ms Smith"
Me:"I...they...babe This is hard"
Doc:"take your time"

I drank half glass of water

Me:"sometimes I feel like the world is slowly turning on me. The kids,I uhm,we don't connect,they
love him more than me so its much easier when and if he spends his time with them. I'm
incompetent okay,I want to hold them,but my arms won't let me.I wanna love them like they should
be loved,but there seems to be a barrier between me and them. I don't know,maybe I wasn't cut out
for this,I'm really sorry Ntando I know how bad you want this but...I can't.I'm sorry "

She asked me even more questions,I ended up being too emotional And then the doctor made the
diagnosis
Doc:"Mr Ntabeni,I'm afraid that Ms Smith has Postpartum Depression"
We looked at each other,so for me this was a shock but Ntando seemed to be confirming what he
already knew or maybe suspected.

Me:"what's that? What causes it"?

Doc:"it a form of depression that new mothers often get,at times it can be caused by having
miscarried before,a still-birth or normal yet unsuspected stress caused by finances,family and so
forth"
Me:"oh"
Him:"so now that we now what's wrong,what's next"?
Doc:"I would advise Ms Smith to surround herself with people who love and care for her,that will
help as emotional support and help her generally with everything so that she doesn't feel like she
has to do all the work alone and most importantly,talk. Find someone to talk to"
Me:"thats a tough one"
Doc:"why do you say so"?
Me:"all the people in my life have their own lives,I'll just have to beat this on my own as usual"
Doc:"can you elaborate"?

I just looked outside the window

Him:"she uhm,she lost her mother doing the sixth grade,got adopted and later got pregnant,was
almost burnt down with a house then she miscarried"
Doc:"where's her family? Sisters or brothers"?
Him:"she always had the adoptive family,those folks passed on too but one of her adoptive brothers
is married,one is in CT,one sister is married the other is with her boyfriend here"
Doc:"father"?
Him:"he just resurfaced,was in prison for all of her life and she hasn't really spoken to him or rather
reconciled with him..long story"
Doc:"I see"

The doctor scribbled on her notepad

Doc:"Ms Smith"
Me:"doctor"
Doc:"I'm gonna refer you to a psychologist,doctor Bangani for some counselling sessions"
I looked at Ntando anxiously
Me:"I won't have time"
Him:"doc is it possible that you could refer us to a doctor in PE? She'll be staying there in a month's
time"
Doc:"alright lemme check a few that I know then I'll email you the details"
Him:"thank you so much doc"

She smiled at him,no wait I think she blushed at him :/ is that flirting? She aint got no shame! The
drive home was a silent one,even ofika kwethu pha I just sat alone in my own couch,he put his kids
on their mini wooden cot then went upstairs and came back with a couple of paperwork

Him:"mamakhe"?

I snapped out and looked at him

Him:"can you help me with typing these? If you don't mind"
Me:"sure,iza ne charger ye laptop yakho"
Him:"nantsi"

Since when does he come prepared? I smiled and took everything then I got busy. He knows I love
snacking when I'm busy so I wasn't surprised to see a tray of food next to me,just snacks and finger
foods with a glass of water and a juice jug infront of me. Before I knew it the tray that was once filled
was now empty,then I realized that this was his plan in the first place...to get me to eat. Well it
worked.
When I was done I went upstairs ndafika elele with his sons. I just looked at them and put his things
on the computer desk ndaphinda ndaphuma.

I had to go back to school,catch up on a couple of modules so ndaqala ndambuza coz I didn't wanna
inconvenience him

Me:"baby"
Him:"hm"?
Me:"ubuyela nini eKapa"?
Him:"ndizoya before uye e Bhayi,why ubuza"?
Me:"thing is,I need to return to class"
Him:"mmkay,lets do these interviews ngomso then we'll see the way forward"
Me:"I hope...mxm never mind"
Him:"you hope"?
Me:"no forget it..."

He looked at me,okay now I just blurted it out.

Me:"I understand that you're here because you want to,I just hope I'm not inconveniencing you or
am not too much of a burden"
Him:"where's this coming from"?
Me:"I can see how this is taking a strain on you,and I know that you have businesses to run. What
I'm tryna say is,I'll understand if udiniwe and maybe you wanna go out and have some fresh air.
Maybe even go to Vinceg,nje just to breath"
He exhaled and looked at his hands then at me,damnit,seeing his face...yho hay shame umtwana
womyumfazi

Him:"I understand you and thanks but I'm fine with you guys here,I get business reports every
evening so don't worry yourself about it. What you can do for me is to cook,ndagqibela kdala utya
ukutya kwakho"
Me:"I can do that"
Him:"thats all,don't forget ngomso senza ezi interviews nee helpers neh"
Me:"enkosi babe,just for being here"

He got up and came to kiss me,for once I allowed him to,I let him. He then looked at me and
smiled,but I guess it was still too early to say thats progress.

317

Well I went to cook for him,we ate and went to chill with his sons.

Me:"have you told your mom,about me"?

Him:"no,akho need but she wanna see abantwana"
Me:"they can come to PE ayongxaki leyo"
Him:"u sure"?
Me:"I'm sure,even the kids will enjoy time with their blood relative more than the helper"
Him:"ndizomxelela ke ba nge Christmas baya eBhayi"
Me:"cool"
....
Following day we had interviews with three beautiful women. When I saw the first one I knew nje ba
she's not the one. Who comes to an interview with excessive makeup? Revealing clothes? Hay
mtrinity,she was out even before she could sit for the interview kum. Out of the three I only liked
one,Ntando liked two so now we had to deliberate on who we're calling for assessment

Him:"so I have Katleho and Sis Fatima"

Me:"I have sis Fatima only"
Him:"really? Did you check Katleho's CV"?
Me:"I did,but I'm still vouching for Sis Fatima"
Him:"okay,tell me why you think she'd be more suitable for this job"?
Me:"okay firstly ngumXhosa lo sisi,she's older and experienced coz unabantwana abathathu. She's
got good referances and lastly,I won't be at work wondering what trick she's cooking to lure you into
her web,when you've come to visit"
Him:"ooh"
And then he laughed at me,I put on a serious pout. Seriously. These younsters are troublesome.

Him:"okay we'll call sis Fats then"

Me:"good"

We called sis Fatima the following day then Ntando interviewed her eyedwa,I interviewed her
ndedwa too and when the interview was over I remembered one more question

Me:"would you have a problem relocating"?

Her:"no ma'am,my youngest child is in grade 11 so that wouldn't be a problem"
Me:"who would you leave the child with"?
Her:"I live with the last two,the first born is married so I live with the two. Don't worry they can take
care of each other as long as I send them money and see them once in a while"
Me:"alright thank you sis,pls await our call neh"
Her:"thank you"

So we called Fatima and she started for that one last week then when we moved to PE a month
earlier,she was already familiar with me and Ntando. I got the referrance from the doctor for the
counselling sessions,that was another reason why I moved a month earlier so I could familiarize
myself with the area. Ntando made arrangements for my car to be transported to PE as well,I don't
wanna lie I was positive about all of this coz for me this was a new start. A new begining for me,us.
Ntando spent the first two weeks with us then he had to fly down to CT and somehow the therapy
sessions,relying on someone for help and expressing myself were helping coz now I had and could
spend time with my sons without the anxiety or panic. This holiday house was massive,just above
the beach. I could walk at the back yard and see people on the beach,feel the refreshing sea breeze.
Soso called ndityisa abanta bam...

Me:"ta soso"?
Him:"bheyibhi,unjani"?
Me:"ndi grand love wena"
Him:"ndi sharp,ndiyeza ke ngomso pls don't go anywhere"
Me:"oooh kanene...uphi ngoku"?
Him:"ndsendlini eMonti"
Me:"well thats easy,I'm in PE so I'll text you the address uze straight apha"
Him:"PE? Uhlala khona or you're on an early holiday"?
Me:"ndizohlala,I got an internship kwa Scorpion so I'm starting work nextmonth"
Him:"oh wow congratulations,how does ta Beast feel about it though"
Me:"yintwana yam estrongo leyana Soso,he understands and is very supportive"
Him:"i'm glad,okay ke text me the address I'll be there"
Me:"sharp sani"

After hanging up I returned to my babies and just watched em,the joy in my heart just by looking at
them. Made me wonder what the hell was going on with me earlier? Atleast I got back to my mind
on time,I realized how much I'm blessed though. Blessed to have the things I have,the people I have
in life and the opportunities that present themselves. Ntando called...

Me:"babe"?
Him:"hey,unjani"?
Me:"I'm okay,wena"?
Him:"I'm good,I'm just checking up on y'all baryt abantwana"?
Me:"yeah si grand ntwana"
Him:"u sure? Is sis Fats helping out kak'hle"
Me:"she's fine Ntando"
Him:"okay ke,I uhm...I'm going to Canada kle weekend uzoba right"?
Me:"do you have to"?
Him:"ewe babe,andizohlala I'm sure by the time you start at work I'll be back already"
Me:"kay ke"
Him:"you're not upset now are you"
Me:"no I'm cool,go do your thing"
Him:"I love you okay,I'll come back to my babies very soon"
Me:"we love you even more,goodluck"
Him:"sharp"

Now I missed him even more now that I know I won't see him anytime soon. The following
afternoon,me and my kids we just napping when Fatima came into the nursery with Soso band'vusa

Her:"S'bongile,you have a visitor"

I stopped her from calling me madam -_- undenza mdala. Though shame sometimes she'd rather
call me mama we twins :) I looked up and saw Lwandiso ndahleka and woke up

Me:"ey you,enkosi sisi ndcela usenzele ii snacks torhwana"

Soso:"with a lot of meat please"
Her:"okay bhuti,anything else"?
Me:"no enkosi"

She turned and walked out,soso and I hugged then he took one baby as he sat down on the bean
bag

Him:"they are so cute,this house is huge. Heh ntombi,wamtyisa ntoni u ta Beast"?

Me:"I don't know hey but its working whatever it is"
Him:"so is this yours"?
Me:"yeah,he bought it during that first pregnancy"
Him:"ooh I remember,so who's this and who's that one"
Me:"that's Uvelile and this one is Ubabalo"
Him:"I was afraid there might be a Ntando Junior1 and Junior2"
Me:"hay soze tchini,there's already an Owentando kalok "
Him:"lamtana ka Chuma kanene...abasebahle man Tee. U maka Laa uve ngaban ba you gave birth"?
Me:"I don't know,maybe she guessed. What did she say"?
Him:"she asked ba bazintoni abantwana bakho,told her I don't know she said she'll call you"
Me:"she hasn't"
Him:"umalume"?
Me:"what about him"?
Him:"he's in Joburg,apparently uyobona wena. I was surprised when you said you're here"
Me:"if he was serious he would've called,or Gudda told him ba ndiphi"

He took his bag and retracted a golden medium sized box. Wandinika

Me:"and this"?
Him:"gift for my sons"
Me:"you didn't have to Soso. But thank you"
Him:"awsathandi uba modest mfazi"

I smiled and opened the box to two beautiful pais of Jordan Air kicks

Him:"they'll probably wear them when they're a year or so"

Me:"they're cute,enkosi Titus"

He just smiled.
Its very weird having a quiet Soso,stru. Today as much as I knew he was in awe of these babier,it felt
weird that he's not being dramatic about anything. He spent the week there then he flew back to CT
mna ndaya kwi induction on the first of November,my car arrived on the second, Ntando came back
on the fourth and I was at work already so ufike ndingekho. On my lunch I called sis Fats just to
check on my sons then she told me she went to deposit money for her kids,abam bashyeke notata
wabo so I called Ntando

The phone rang alone,no one answered so I called his second and third phone nix uphendulwa. I
panicked,I tried him again same story ndancama and called Fats again and told her to call me again
when she's at home since ndingamfumani u Ntando. Naye she never called me back yade yaphela ne
lunch yam...mara why u baby engand'founeli when he gets the missed call notifications?

#318

I worked and finished my dues ndagqiba and then headed home,on the way I saw text ka Ntando but
the traffic was too much I couldn't read it until I drove into my garage. The message only said they
were sleeping when I called akhonto bendizoyenza about it now coz I was here now,I took my bags
(handbag and laptop bag) and phones then I walked into my house,Ntando was lying on the lounge
floor with his sons on pillows next to him

Him:"wangen' u madam"
Me:"hey"
I knelt down and kissed all three of em,got up and went to shower and change into comfortable
clothes..I wanted to cook for my man. After getting comfortable I went to the kitchen fika u sis Fats
ezaw'misa iimbiza

Me:"hi sisi,don't worry about dinner,I'll take care of it"

Her:"okay ndzozphakela from the leftovers ke mna"
Me:"I'll make enough for all of us don't worry"
Her:"no no don't worry sisi ndizobaright,and I need to go to bed kwa early xasend'fumene ne
chance"
Me:"okay ke"

I started cooking,she warmed her leftovers and left for her flat. Ntando walked in and came behind
me...how I missed those arms God!
Him:"mntu wam"
He nibbled on my ear
Me:"mmh"
Him:"do you know how much I missed you"?
Me:"nope"
Him:"this much..."

In a flash he flung me around and kissed me full on the lips at the same time lifted me up so my legs
swung and curled around his waist just as he put me on the kitchen counter

Me:"baby the pots are gonna get burnt"

Him:"turn em off"
Me:"sis Fats will walk in here"
Him:"mmh.hm baby"

We continued kissing until I stopped him again

Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"mh"?
Me:"khand'jonge"
He did,yho uNtando ebeqobeke! He was like a puppy
Me:"we have enough time for this"
Him:"but I want you now baby"
Me:"baby"

Thank God one of his sons cried,he looked at me in disappointment then left. I felt guilty but
continued cooking anyway,I wasn't sure if I wanted to have sex just yet coz it had only been three
months since I gave birth so I was only gonna do it because bend'cingela u Ntando and I was hoping
he'll be as gentle as he's become lately. After cooking I went to change into lingerie and a satin gown
then I dished up,he went to bath abantwana bakhe and came back while I was doing the finishing
touches on our private dinner,I felt his presence so I turned and saw him

Me:"you can come in"

He walked in and sat down,amused

Me:"dinner is served"
Him:"smells divine..."
We ate and had a light chat,with every laugh I made sure I showed more skin moving now and then
so my boobs peek at those moves and I knew very well he noticed and he was enjoying the good
show.

Him:"thank you,I think I should go away more often mos if I'll get this welcoming"
Me:"not so fast,we still have time for dessert"

I saw the cheesiest smile creep at the corner of his lips as I collected the dishes back to the kitchen
and locked the house then I returned to him empty handed

Him:"I thought you mentioned dessert"

Me:"I think I did too..."
Him:"you think"?

I removed the gown and tossed it onto the other chairs

Me:"thought this is your kinda dessert ntwana yam"

He got up and came to touch my skin,smelling way different than it was earlier in the kitchen. He
kissed and bit it slowly

Him:"new perfume"?
Me:"you like"?
Him:"mmmh"

He kissed me slowly and seductively,slowly stripping my lingerie off.

Me:"lets...go..aaah! Upstairs"
Him:"hm.mh...ssshh"

So I shut up and enjoyed the ride,he took me to places I've been afraid to reach,we did things in that
dining room...things that I knew would haunt me even the following day. He later lifted me up and
carried me upstairs where we continued with the more sensual side of things. It had been a long
time since I lay my head on his chest and felt so damn good

Me:"baby"
Him:"hm"
Me:"I'm gonna need the morning-after pill"
Him:"oh shit! Awngeni ngomso"?
Me:"ha.a day off"
Him:"okay,I'll get it ksasa"
Me:"mmh"

I closed my eyes and dozed off,only woke up when I heard one of my sons making lil cries. I fed and
changed his diaper then I rocked him to sleep,just after I put him to bed my phone rang I looked at
the caller ndanovalo,why would Gudda call me this time of the night?

Me:"hi"
Him:"Tee ukuwe u ta Beast"?
Me:"ewe why do you ask"?
Him:"look,do me a favour and keep him indoors until I call you again"
Me:"whats going on? And ulele lomtu akazoya ndawo anyway now"
Him:"I'm talking about tomorrow,I have to go. Later"
Okay.
I got in bed and just watched him sleep,what has he done now? My fear was that he'd already
stepped on someones toes kweli Bhayi,ndiyamaz uNtando. He could have easily just terrorized
someone in his territory gqiba azo actor innocent aphendlini.
That morning I woke up while he was still sleeping and went to get the pill,returned home ndafika
xezophuma wothuka

Him:"uvelaphi"?
Me:"chemist,uyaphi"?

He shook his head and walked back inside.

Me:"have you eaten"?

Him:"ha.a sis Fats usavasa abantwana"
Me:"mmh"

I went to the kitchen and cooked oatmeal ndamnika and then I went to check on my babies ndafika
bencanciswa ii bottles zabo ndabayeka coz bebezolala after that,I ate my own breakfast still
wondering what really is going on

Him:"everything okay"?
Me:"yeah,why ubuza"?
Him:"you're awfully quiet,hope its not about last night"
Me:"last night was great babe"
Him:"then what's got you like this"?
Me:"I like having you around,just that whenever I get used to that idea uvele uhambe"
Him:"oh...but you do know that I love you and I think about you all the time even if andikho lapha
with you guys"
Me:"its about love,its about making time. Availabilty"
Him:"I'm here now"
Me:"yeah..so what are we doing today"?
Him:"there's someone I'm supposed to meet kwa Zakhele but after that I'll be all yours"
Me:"ndcela ungayi"
Him:"huh"?
Me:"pls don't go,call that someone and cancel or reschedule"

He stopped eating and looked at me in silence...

Him:"why"?
Me:"please,you know very well I never say anything kwinto zakho but today I'm begging you to not
go"

Wakhe wathula,he went to the kitchen wabuya

Him:"well I guess I can spend the day with yall"

Me:"thank you"

Now that I managed to get him to stay I had to figure out a way of keeping him here,I don't take
instructions lightly especially from people Gudda,Ranger and Marc coz they are his frontmen and
they know I don't like being ordered around so the most convenient way to get me to listen is to not
give me details,leave me wondering and that alone makes me nervously anxious.
#319

We just chilled inside and enjoyed each others company until late. He offered to cook dinner so I
took a moment and chilled with my sons ndimane ndiyomjonga. As much as I enjoyed having him
around,I kinda panicked when Gudda didn't call coz I was curious whats going on. Right then I
recieved a call from my big bro

Me:"Polo"
He laughed
Him:"hey you,is Beast still with you"?
Me:"yep,sup"?
Him:"no I'm just making sure,can't really talk now. Later"
Me:"wait"!
Him:"huh"?
Me:"where are you"?
Him:"am here in PE but I really have to go okay"

He hung up on me,I put my phone away just as bae came with dinner,something was up and I hoped
that they weren't doing anything crazy that could backfire or they weren't ganging up against him,I
think he would have mentioned that my brother was around but then again he didn't even mention
that he's back. Which all goes back to my first instinct that ikhona into ayenzileyo or someone is
after him...
Me:"that was fast"
Him:"andinguwe mna,and even if I have to say so myself,it tastes even better than it looks"

Heee,I tasted.
He was right,it tasted divine. We ate sancokola then I went to wash the dishes while he went bath
his sons and put them to sleep,I went to help him then we went to bed and just lay there...

Him:"what are your long term goals"

Me:"hm"?
Him:"long term goals"
Me:"I don't know,why? What are yours"?
Him:"so you mean to say you don't know what your aspirations are"
Me:"I guess I just never put much thought into it"
Him:"well I wanna open a trust account for all my children,bangasokoli when I'm no longer here"
Me:"thats a good idea"
Him:"ngxaki babe I don't want any of them in this kinda life that I'm living"
Me:"but you too can still come out,its not too late"
Him:"there are only two ways out babe,jail or death and I don't think you guys would survive any of
those"
Me:"tjo"

That got me thinking...

Me:"I need your opinion on something"

Him:"okay"
Me:"this issue that I have with my dad,I feel like I will be failing my mom if I forgive him. But on the
other hand,I think I should give him a chance"
Him:"I would say give him a chance,you know how faulty I am I have no grounds to say grudge on
him"
Me:"why then is it so hard"?
Him:"go back to him,ask him everything ude uxole nawe then you'll learn to forgive him"
Me:"if it weren't for Soso...I don't think I'd want anything to do with that family"
Him:"Soso is a good guy,he's even bettering oo Kuhle"
Me:"bettering who? Haha asoze babe"
Him:"nyhani love,its been ages since I got a call from em needing saving"
Me:"that don't mean they're better babe,uyamaz u Soso"?
Him:"kodwa ke babe ndiyabazi xabesengxakini"
Me:"baby don't underestimate Lwandiso,he will get you in and out of trouble within a blink of an
eye"
Him:"hay suka lantwana"
Me:"heee,uyawze ubone one day when we gang up on you sikubulale and bury you under the bed"

Waphela yintsini uNtando,akazi kwa Soso stru bob.

Me:"on the real now,Soso is well connected babe. I know what I'm talking about"
Him:"I won't be surprised if he's always with his dad,that man has connections in and out of the
country"
Me:"he is..."

I lay my head on his arm sajongana

Him:"you're beautiful you know that"?
Me:"I am"?
Him:"lawei,and you're smart,intelligent. I'm sure my boys will take all'o that from you"
Me:"makes you wonder how I ended up with a beast of a gangsta xakanti ndi smart"
Him:"you couldn't resist the beast charm,at the end of the day every beauty needs a beast"
Me:"yeah whatever,masilale"
Him:"its still early,I still wanna look into those sparkling eyes"
Me:"tyhini"!
Him:"and there's something I've been meaning to ask you"
Me:"oh-kay"
Him:"tell me the truth,why didn't you want me to leave earlier"? Just then my phone rang... Gudda

Me:"hey"
Him:"hey,yonkinto igrand vha"
Me:"sharp"
Him:"thank you and goodnight"
Me:"night"

Then I shifted my attention back to him

Me:"busithini babe"?
Him:"who was that"?
Me:"my brother"
Him:"ooh,bend'buza why ungakhange ufune ndihambe today"
Me:"oh bend'tshilo nje ba I wanted to spend time with you and our sons"
Him:"ha.a baby maan"
Me:"do you believe that I love you,like manyhani"?
Him:"haibo is that a trick question"?
Me:"okay then,I wanted you here coz I was made to believe you're in some sort of danger"
Him:"made by whom"?
Me:"my brothers"
Him:"mmh,but you should have just told me"
Me:"but uyazazi nje love ba unenkani what if I had told you and then ufunuhamba and put your life
in danger"?
Him:"ndinenkani ngok' baby"?
Me:"yhuuuu!!! Don't let me start on you"
Him:"okay okay fine,I get you"
Me:"you see now why I got you spending your entire day with us"
Him:"yeah and thank you,as much as I don't know anything yet,just for holding me down"
Me:"always"
Him:"ndikwenzele icard lakho,endizok'fakela kulo your monthly allowance"
Me:"oh thank you"
Him:"I thought you would protest yaz"
Me:"hay ndiyay'dinga kalok ngoku mtchana and I can't keep on asking my brothers even worse now
that I have your babies"
Him:"heke! Oh I thank God for this day,wena wonke? Uthi uyay'dinga imali yam"?
Me:"oh cummon Ntando fondin we both know I need that money,I've just started working and mna
imali nd'zoba nayo month end"
Him:"baby,all I know is that I told you you don't have to work ndikhona I'll support you and the kids"
Me:"enkosi nge card Ntando,goodnight yho"
Him:"ubaleka lento ngok? Mk. Goodnight babe"
.....
My first month at Scorpion was just easy,we were skivies but mostly data capturers for the first
three months then as time passed we got mentors to shade and in that process was my graduation
back in Jozi but after that I just settled in PE. I made peace with my dad,met my other siblings no
mama ka Gudda apparently they were a reunited family and he was now starting a legit business
with the skills he learnt in jail. Even though I had sorted my family issues,I still wanted to wait and
not rush into marriage kwangoku especially after dad found out I'm with a Gangsta khange aphinde
abe right. Kept on telling me I deserved better,that I should atleast rethink this life changing decision
that I'm about to make as the wife of a gangsta...that got Ntando worked up the bad way. I
understood my dad,he knew what he was talking about but I also made him understand that you
can't choose whom to love,and on top of that this niqqa has been there for me. I don't wanna
believe he's just a gangsta coz kum he's my man,my babydaddy,my future hubby and I wouldn't
leave him now coz I knew what I was getting myself into from the begining. Apparently ke uthe
wondincama wathuma unyanakhe to speak to me but kwayena he knew my answer and then they
went behind my back bathetha no Ntando telling him to be there for his kids in all aspects but to
leave me alone,I deserved better than him. When Ntando visited and told me this I acted cool
infront of him tried to calmly tell him baphambene I'm not going anywhere,the minute he left the
house I called Gudda ndivutha ngumsindo

Him:"mtase"
Me:"heh Aya,nehlelwa yinton ngoku bethuna"?
Him:"utsho kanjan ngoku"?
Me:"nigrand no tatakho"?
Him:"Beast told you"
Me:"duh! Explain to me,nigrand? Like,manyhani ni sharp"?
Him:"we're just looking out for you,we know how dangerous this life is and we don't want you to
experience that"
Me:"oooh,so its better if you tell my fiancé to stay away from me? I can say I expected this from
your dad,but you? Yho"
Him:"I know it doesn't seem like that now but I swear I just wanna protect you. I know Beast more
than you ever could,mamela mna S'bongile"
Me:"you know Beast more than I ever could? Heh mtchana who is this Beast we're talking about? is
this the same guy you're working for? Same guy who's paying for your brothers' tuition and
accommodation overseas? Same guy who encouraged you to go back to school? Same guy w-"
Him:"okay I get it! Yho"
Me:"where's your loyalty Gudda? Leave the family excuse aside coz you've always been like this oko
ndakwazi"

He was silent

Me:"exactly. You too can see that you've never been loyal to him despite everything that he's done
for you and your family"
Him:"it's not like I don't appreciate what he does for us S'bongile"
Me:"you sure have a funny way of showing it,mamela ke ndoda: Ntando was there for me when no
one else was,when I was suffering from PPD he gave me his time,love and support when I felt
defeated and out,he dropped everything and stuck to my side until he was sure ndi grand. You and
your dad don't get to come out of nowhere nifike seni predict'a my life telling me who to and not to
love. On top of that anindazi kwa nina but I guess I should appreciate what yall are doing,but cela
nindiyeke ndenze iimpazamo zam and learn from em. Plz"
Him:"fair enough"
Me:"and you better respect my wishes,nobabini"

I hung up.
Yhini,kuske kwathini ngoku?

#320

I don't know man. My own life was steady,why on earth couldn't my family see that? My dad came
to see me in PE caba khand'vakale on the phone,he wanted to come to the house but I told him to
meet me during my lunch hour emsebenzini. Kwangoku ndiyakuye I was fed up already,why the
sudden interest in my life? He decided to be in prison all my life now that he's back he wants to man
up? How? Anyway I met up with him...

Him:"thank you for meeting me,unjan"?

Me:"I'm good unjan wena"
Him:"banjan abantwana"?
Me:"bayakhula"

Okay,so we were about to fall into that silent pit when I decided to just cut to the chase

Me:"I only have an hour for lunch,I'd like us to go straight to why you're here"
Him:"mntanam,I don't want you to feel like we're predicting your life for you"
Me:"but"?
Him:"but,I just don't understand how you could possibly want to spend the rest of your life with a
hardcore gangsta"
Me:"have you ever thought maybe I love him"?
Him:"you could find love with somebody else so easily,you're smart and beautiful. It wouldn't be
hard to find Somebody in your own calibre,who shares the same vision for life,with the same goals"
Me:"I'm sorry but,I am just fine with Ntando"
Him:"my child,I need you to think ahead,think for the future. I've been a gangsta all my life and I
know all the implications that come along with this life"
Me:"I understand you,but I have a question for you"
Him:"okay"
Me:"have you asked Ntando to stop paying for your boys tuition overseas"?
Him:"no"
Me:"are you planning on paying him back all that money,including the one he gave to Gudda to go
back to school and his mother to start a business"?
Him:"I don't know"
Me:"you don't know? That's a shock,considering how much you hate the guy"
Him:"hate is such a strong word,I just don't like him with you"
Me:"why"?
Him:"besides the fact that he's dangerous,what more do you want"?
Me:"I want you and Gudda to stop trying to run my life for me"
Him:"who's Gudda"?
Me:"yho! Awmaz kwa u Gudda? Your son Aya,Beast's friend and one of his topdogs? That,is Gudda"
Him::"he's still working with him"?
Me:"correction,he's working for him. Speaking of calibre,I don't know what kind is my calibre if
Ntando doesn't cut it with his degrees and PhD's but I guess you know better. Along with Gudda"
Him:"I don't trust him,thats all. A man like that cannot be trusted mntanam,you don't know when
he'll turn around and become the beast on you"
Me:"a man like that? Heee! You people,why ninje bethuna? That man is my fiancé guys,the father to
my children incase we're forgetting those massive details"
Him:"I don't know what to say to you anymore"
Me:"true,you've said enough and I appreciate it all but ndizocela one thing from you usukela ngoku"
Him:"what is it"?
Me:"can you let me make my own life mistakes? Allow me to learn from them? Could you do that
for me"?
Him:"all I ever want is to protect you,I'm sorry but I don't think I can my baby"
Me:"I needed your protection 20,21 years ago,after that,I grew up. I became a woman,an aunt,a
mother,a fiancé,an employee... I don't think uyandiva kak'hle"

Wathula,I got up and took my phone and wallet.

Me:"if you're so eager on protecting me,pls,take us back to when I lost the only person I loved,the
person that you ruined and left alone to fend for herself. Find me then and protect me. Pls"

I left and went back to work. I couldn't work,my mind was running around this whole issue. Maar
why now? What has Ntando done for them to treat him kanje? Why befuna to kill my happiness
mara? The time to go home came so quickly,and I had to go home to a moping Ntando. Andaz noba
he didn't believe in us anymore or maybe he thought I'd side with my dad over this coz naye maan
uvele wa weak. I drove home feeling the exhaustion,parked and got inside. Fatima had already
cooked dinner coz ndfike sekunuka kamnandi,Ntando was not in the lounge but the kids were. I
kissed them and went to the kitchen

Me:"molo sisi,uph' utatalapha"?

Her:"eweke sisi,ulele upstairs"
Me:"oh,okay"
I went upstairs fika uNtando elele nyhani,I changed then sat next to him and woke him up...he half-
opened his eyes and half-smiled. I kissed him,Gosh! I've been through a lot to know that he's got me.
Like,left,right and center I know he got me.

Him:"who upset you"?

Me:"who said I'm upset"?

He kissed me full on the lips then sat up and pulled me closer

Him:"I know when you're upset"

Me:"I'm okay,I just had a long day. Why ulele emini wena"?
Him:"I guess I'm tired and bored,there's nothing to do here"
Me:"mmh,lemme go check on my babies ke"
Him:"bring em here"
Me:"sure"

I went downstairs and went back up with the kids he took em both and lay em on his chest,bevusa
nezinkcwe. We just chilled together,5 minutes was enough kungekakhali phone but this time it was
mine and a very unpleasant caller -_-

Me:"Faith"?
Her:"hello unjani"
Me:"I'm good"
Her:"I'm good too thank you for asking,your dad told me he came to see you"
Me:"so"?
Her:"he asked me to talk to you"
Me:"hayini ninani,nehlelwa yinton phakokwenu mvanje?"
Her:"I don't understand you"
Me:"I don't care,I'm tired of repeating the same thing oko. My answer is still the same. Now have a
good night"

I hung up
I could feel Ntando's eyes but I didn't wanna talk,instead I went down to fetch our dinner satyela
eroomini. After eating I just got in bed and looked the other way,nyhan I was tired of all these
people sticking their nose in my business. I could hear that my kids were asleep,Ntando moved them
to their cot and came to hug me from behind salala. Ndambulela silently coz I really didn't feel like
explaining this whole situation right now,it would make me all emotional and andiy'thandi lonto
caba funeka kucengwana nam oko. We slept till midnight ndothuka mna ndphelelwe bubuthongo
and turned ndafika naye ehleli

Me:"hey"
Him:"hey"
Me:"what got you up"?
Him:"I've been thinking"
Me:"about"?

He sat up,I followed and rubbed my eyes

Him:"Gudda is finally showing his true colors"

Me:"do we need him"?
Him:"no,but I can't just let him go,he knows too much"
Me:"so what do we do"?
Him:"we keep an eye on him for now,wait on him singamngxameli or sizombhuda"
Me:"nd'kruqukile mna babe ngaba bantu"
Him:"family yakho"
Me:"don't say that,they've been family for what? A minute now they acting like izgora kum"?
Him:"I won't say I'm surprised babe"
Me:"odikwa kwam mna yiyo yonke lento nd'zofaka umntu imbhumbhulu ohlukane nam qha"
Him:"you don't mean that"

Ndathula.
Kanti ndi serious,oyena mntu ndimfunayo ngula Gudda ungena mqolo.

Him:"baby"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"you don't mean that,neh"?
Me:"ha.a babe"
Him:"good,guns are dangerous ay'zonto zodlala"
Me:"I know that"

Like I know that,I killed Killa with a gun remember? And at this rate I wouldn't think twice,njee
ndimdlalise umntu and not kill him

#321

I was more worried about Ntando's businesses than our relationship,I kinda had this weird feeling
that Gudda had the capability of destroying Ntando but he kinda felt the guilt coz I'm in the picture.
Which means I'm the only thing stopping him,or them if he's working with his father. The following
morning I went to work ndamshiya nabantwana bakhe,during my lunch hour I called Ranger
He was surprised...

Him:"boss lady,yonkinto igrand"?

Me:"hey,I need a favour and don't tell taBeast I asked this of you"
Him:"that's gonna be hard mtwana,you know andkwazi umfihlelanto"
Me:"cummon Ranger ndiyakucela"
Him:"I'm not promising anything"
Me:"I'm not asking you to kill anyone here,I just want you to keep an eye on Gudda for me"
Him:"Gudda? Why"?
Me:"I don't trust him,I'm convinced he has some agenda but I'm not sure for now thats why I need
you to keep an eye on him"
Him:"agenda on whom? Why not ask Polo to do that"?
Me:"if aw'zoyenza lento itsho bro ndizikhangelele omnye umntu"
Him:"no I'll do it...do you think he could go against us kule agenda yakhe"?
Me:"that's what I wanna find out,and I need you to be a step ahead of him"
Him:"okay,I'll keep you posted"
Me:"thank you"
Him:"ayt"

I could've just asked Soso but yi family yakhe naye le indenza kanje,and on top of that I can't involve
him in Beast's business unless its between life and death serious or I can't find someone else
manyhani. I swore I was gonna beat those two at their own game,maybe not alone but I swore that
if they are really doing all of this just so they could get to Ntando then ndizobafumana. Which made
me wonder if Ntando had maybe had a beef with this ta Bongs in the past...I didn't know what to
think but I had to weigh all posibilities. When I got home after work,I asked him wathi akhonto
eyakhe yabadibanisa. He said I should drop this,if Gudda wants out uzotsho and he won't stop
him...ngxaki is that no one ever left a crew without blood being shed,to complicate all of this kukho
mna in the picture. Here I thought finding a family would be exciting,andaz le ndiyfumeneyo.
The worst part of it all yile yokuba I didn't trust them,ndizolotyolwa kuban when the people who are
supposed to accept it besenza kanje? Kuyacaca ba they would reject it xabengamfuni kangaka u
Ntando. Lahamba ixesha till kwasondela i first birthday yamawele now I didn't want anything big,for
me a cake and drinks was enough coz they don't even know whats going on...but Ntando wanted a
big thing which meant we had to invite all his friends,our families and almost everyone we knew

Me:"izokwenzelwaphi kengok lento yakho"?

Him:"apha endlini fondin"
Me:"you mean apha kwam? Hell no"
Him:"aw baby,the house is big and has a great seaview"
Me:"this is our private space,my private space. I'm not gonna have strangers swamped here besenza
unothanda mtaka dabs"
Him:"so we hire a venue"?
Me:"why don't we use your house in CT"
Him:"so we fly to the Cape just for iparty"?
Me:"kanti Ntando where are most of your friends? The only other people you have to fly in are your
kids and mom qha"
Him:"okay,on one condition"
Me:"unesbindi soba nee conditions nge nto efunwa nguwe"
Him:"baby cummon"
Me:"lets here it"
Him:"you'll organise everything"
Me:"then gimme your black card"
Him:"why that one,I can always transfer imali to you nje"
Me:"black card baby"

Wahleka walikhupha.
Then I started by meeting a graphic designer for invitations that I were to mail to people,when they
were done we started with our list of people then sent the invitations. Having received so many
RSVP's I realised that the house would be jammed,so I telephonically booke the parked then hire the
whole playland equipment,bo jumping castles and slides then a person who was going to do the
decor with Legion of Heroes theme. As the days came close I realised I won't manage with the
catering so I had to outsource that too,and other small things that were on my list. Ntando's mom
came to fetch the kids then they all flew to Cape Town ndashyeka mna coz I was still working and I
was gonna fly down Thursday night,phof Ntando came back for me Tuesday. Ndafika esendlini
phof,Fatima was in Cape Town with umama so this gave us some alone time thouh bendothukile ba
ubuyeleni msinya. I prepared supper then went to bath before dishing up

Him:"mas'tyele eroomini"
Me:"uzophinda uzise izitya"?
Him:"yes madam"
We took our food and followed each other to the bedroom and got in bed satya,I was the touchy-
touchy one. Broody. Even he couldn't understand,but I just missed him. His strong arms,hands...
When I was done eating ndakhwela phez'kwakhe just giving him enough space to eat finish

Him:"baby"?
Me:"just eat finish mfethu"
Him:"u grand ntwana"?
Me:"ndi grand,khaw'de ugqibe yho"

When he realised what was going on,he teased me :'( Ntando hates me shame. He took his time
wade wagqiba,yho when he put his plate down I got up and sat down on him with my legs on both
sides of his waist ndakhulula the pj vest I had on

Him:"the way you're acting baby ingath ukwi desert"

Me:"baby don't talk,its okay if you don't wanna do anything. Just lie down,I'll do all the work myself"

With that I went for his lips,we kissed. I ripped his vest off and continued with the foreplay,jonga I
wasn't just hungry I was thirsty for him, I wanted him so bad,I was craving for him like a pregnant
woman. When I was moist between the legs,I undressed us both and then guided him inside me...I
felt like heaven when I felt his fullness go deep inside,I dug my nails deep onto his chest flesh as I felt
the waves of ecstacy shooting through my entire body.

I went at it,harder with every stride until I reached my breaking point. Then I flopped beside
him,cuddled and drifted off to sleep. He later woke me up,horny AF! I couldn't say no,the feeling
tended to be mutual coz the minute he indicated...my body reacted maliciously. We went at it until
we both peaked and drowned in satisfaction saphinda salala.

I woke up the following morning and called in sick then ndaphinda ndalala,he woke me up an hour
later

Me:"hm.mh hm.mh"
Him:"vuka S'bongile"
Me:"hm.mmmna baby"
Him:"uzoba late baby if you don't wake up now"
Me:"not going"
Him:"awphangeli? Babe"?

I turned to face the other way and covered my head with the blankie ndaphinda ndalala. Later I
woke up and he was awake,just not in bed. I went downstairs ndafika esenza ukutya,I walked up to
him and hugged his bare back,taking in his fresh scent

Him:"good morning to you too"

Me:"I love you"
Him:"I must have done it good last night,uvuke in this mood"?
Me:"I wouldn't mind getting it all over again,come here"

He put the spatula down,turned around and lifted me up as I smashed my lips onto his,sucking him
my arms groping around his neck keeping us glued together. He took me right there in that stylish
kitchen,I swear Ntando gave me a love potion :'( he needs to tell me truth angekhe. Why is that I
never get enough of him? I went crazy just as he climaxed and screamed my name with that deep
groan,I followed right after him saying his name like a love smitten teenager. He picked me up from
the floor,went all the way to the lounge and put me on that one long couch as we finished off what
we had started. After that I went to take breakfast,we ate it while naked on that seaview lounge.

Me:"what time will Mo be here"?

Him:"I haven't called him,ndikwaz uhamba ngomso late kalok mna"
Me:"mmmh"

We ate finish ndayovasa,he followed savasana then we came out and got dressed

Him:"you've been quiet"

Me:"hm"?
Him:"u sharp"?

I just nod and looked for sandals,something was suddenly bothering my spirit but I couldn't point out
exactly what ndimaz ke no Ntando uzoth I'm paranoid. When I was done I called his mom and
checked on my kids,he sat down next to me and waited ndancokola nomama wakhe until I hung up

Him:"talk to me,what's bothering you"?

Me:"I don't know baby maan,but umama uth abantwana ba grand so I guess I should relax"
Him:"lets go out,its been a long time since we did that. Maybe uzoba grand obuya kwethu"
Me:"mmh,where are you taking me"?
Him:"soqala kwa Charlies then I'll take you to a place that sells 'confused cake' for dessert"
Me:"Charlies uphi and what kinda food is sold there"?
Him:"yho uyambuza babe umntu,can't you just wait and see"
Me:"aw baby"

He got up and took his keys,I follow with my puppy face wandihleka. He wasn't giving away lendawo
yakhe tu.

#322

He took us to Charlies Pizza and Pasta,very nice place. We both ate lamb shank pizza ophuma
kwethu pha sakhe sa cruise'r around sizulisela u Mo othe uzoza late. When we were done with the
cruising we went to Friendly Stranger for my confused cake then we returned home where we just
chilled on the couch sharing the cake, Kuhle called

Me:"sir Kay"
Him:"boss lady,unjani"?
Me:"I'm good ntwana,unjan wena"?
Him:"i'm good,I got a call from Vince regarding the upcoming party"
Me:"what about it"?
Him:"hey andiyiva man lento ithethwa ngulomjita,apparently he won't come kuba engazokwazi
ushiya u Libo behind"
Me:"why tell you kengok"?
Him:"ebefuna undinikela i gift kalok"
Me:"I don't want his gift,he must keep it. Kakade I didn't invite him,if he didn't wanna come he
should've just told ubhut' wakho lo um'invitileyo qha"
Him:"ndiske ndamuncu kengok"
Me:"niyeza nina"?
Him:"yeah uSihle is already that side ku Soso,sesi grand nange accommodation ungazi stress"
Me:"okay cool,see you then"
Him:"sharp sisi"
I hung up,Ntando wand'jonga enombuzo

Him:"yinton ngxaki ngoku"?

Me:"Vincent akezi"
Him:"ngoba"?
Me:"umenywe nguwe,mbuze"

Wand'jonga and dialed his brother,owam umntu wafaka ku loud speaker sana :p.
Me:"why unje baby? Thetha naye wedwa fondin"
Him:"ssshh"

Lol Vincent picked up

Him:"bhuti"?
Bae:"Vince,ugrand ndoda"
Him:"ndisharp kunjan kuwe bhuti"
Bae:"ndi grand,ndizama ukwenza ii arrangements ze accommodation for le weekend,ithin nto
yakho"
Him:"andiz'qondi yaz bra,but ndizozama uthumela i gift ye boys"
Bae:"awuz'qondi? Why"?
Him:"I can't really say,I'm sorry"
Me:"uyeva ke babe? ...akho need wethu Vincent"
Him:"cummon Tee,andenzi ngamabom mfethu"
Me:"uright kalok I'm not saying explain yourself ndithi akho need qha"
Him:"yho...okay"
Bae:"okay,hope whatever ekwenza ungazazi ba uyeza is worth it"
Me:"uzothini ungabi worth it u Libhongo na babe?"
Him:"ayingo Libo Tee,I have a couple of things to do if ndigqibe early ndizoza noba nd'fike Saturday"

I looked at Ntando
Me:" ikhona enyinto buzay'thetha ku Vince babe"?
Bae:"uhm..no,sharp Vince ntwana"
Him:"sho bhut',Tee ndizozama nyhan ukuza mfethu it has absolutely nothing to do with Libo"

I took the phone and hung up,naxesha labantu abadlalisa undize mna while I have bigger problems
in life. Ntando just looked at me wathula,Mo called so we packed and headed to the airport. Oko
sithule akhomntu uthethe nomnye until we got in the jet,he settled while I poured myself a tizer
ndasela then I went to sit next to him and gave him a glass of whiskey on the rocks

Him:"enkosi"
Me:"babe"
Him:"hm"?
Me:"I need to know something from you,assurance"
Him:"of what"?
Me:"that you will always have my back,always. No matter what happens"
Him:"are you telling me you're still not sure nangoku"?
Me:"Ntando"
Him:"Nalique I got you okay,I've told you before and I'm telling you now. Nothing and no one is
gonna change that"
Me:"good,coz I have this strong feeling that Gudda and his dad are trying to break us up so they can
get to you without hurting me"
Him:"I know. Just don't let it get to you"
Me:"how can you be so calm about this"?

He downed his whiskey and exhaled

Him:"ta Bongs won't do anything esandophuma e jail uzothumela u Gudda,yena ndiyamazi ke inside
out u Gudda akanamqolo"
Me:"please don't underestimate your rivalries,what if they team up noo Yanga"?

He kept quiet for a minute,then lifted my face up and planted a kiss

Him:"for now lets focus on this party,I will deal with the rest afterwards"
Me:"just be alert nakule party,andaz man babe ayindonwabisanga yonke leway"

He pulled me closer ndathula,I guess I just have to work with him this time around. Which meant I
had to push Ranger for some info,so to help Ntando be alert and ahead at all times from now on. I
cuddled on him until we landed,a car was already waiting for us so we got in sagoduswa and my
God :D I never realised how much I missed my babies until now their faces lit up and cracked open
the minute we walked in. Uba came crawling to me and caught my leg,I swear I dropped everything
and picked him up

Me:"pharuza za mamakhe you missed mommie more than daddy neh"

Ntando kissed his son while in my hands and went to take the other one as we sat on one couch
kweza noo Sino. It was a very nice,joyful and intimate moment for the first time to have almost
everyone under the same roof. I later prepared dinner,after we ate we chilled e lounge. I somehow
felt comfortable around mother-in-law,she's just a cool woman to be around...some time later we all
headed to our separate bedrooms ndakhe ndayovasa kemna. I only realized after bathing that the
cot was left in PE so that meant solala nabantwana

Me:"siy'libele njan icot baby"?

Him:"doesn't really matter now,bazolala nathi"
Me:"obviously"

Sino and Owe slept with their granma,I lotioned,wore pj's and got in bed. Uve crawled to my
chest,giving his dad a chance to go shower and me a chance to bond with both my sons. Sancokola
into engavakaliyo until my phone rang...

Me:"Ranger"
Him:"hey,I got something I think you might find interesting"
Me:"oh-kay"
Him:"uzokwaz uphuma ksasa without the big guy asking questions"?
Me:"uhhmmm...that's not gonna be easy unless we meet at the bakery coz I have to go and check
the cake"
Him:"I can do that"
Me:"okay,I'll text you the time"
Him:"and specific bakery"

Ntando came out of the shower

Me:"yeah that too,look I have to go now. Sothetha ngomso"

Him:"alright"
I hung up and dialed Lwandiso

Bae:"who was that"?

Me:"one of the organisers...hey ntwana unjani"
Soso:"ndi excitos bheyibi,ninjan nina"
Me:"si grand,are you busy tomorrow"?
Soso:"ha.a ndzokhawlela omye wosbari bakho e airport qha"
Me:"cool,lets meet up I need your assistance on something"
Him:"okay call me when you wanna"
Me:"will do"

I hung up,Ntando came to bed,his babies abandoned me and went crawling back to him

Him:"should I be worried"
Me:"nganton ngoku"
Him:"ever since we landed I keep having this feeling you're hiding something from me"
Me:"why would I do that? And even if I was hiding something from you it wouldn't be to hurt you in
anyway"
Him:"S'bongile size apha for iparty qha,nothing else pls"

Ndathula mna,ndaz'lalisa futhi

Him:"baby"
Me:"hm"
Him:"you're not hiding anything,right"?
Me:"no"
Him:"good"

I fell asleep and woke up the following,I went to bath ndabuya ndanxiba when I was ready to go I
woke him up

Me:"ndiyahamba,can I take your car pls"

Him:"kay"
I kissed him and looked at his sleepy eyes

Me:"I love you,okay"

Him:"love you"

I kissed him again ndahamba ndaqala ngothumelela u Ranger GPS Coordinates zalendawo s'odibana
kuyo,I went to the bakery payed for the cake then met him outside he gave me a brown envelope
sohlukana mna ndayokwenza i verification at the park then tied up loose ends to the preparations of
the party. I called my bae when everything was in order

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"hey,ndigqibile these things I came to do here ndiniphathele nton"
Him:"thenga u KFC for everyone"
Me:"and for you"?
Him:"ribs,between Steers and Spur"
Me:"sharp sharp"
Him:"sho"
I went to Spur k'qala ndamthengela ne steak and extra large chips then I went to buy la KFC for the
rest of the fam then I headed home la envelope inside my bag. I reached home and asked Fatima to
share the meat for everyone but Ntando wasn't there

Me:"uph utata ka Sino mama"?

Him:"oko ebese roomini mtanam"

I went upstairs with his meal ndafika e busy on the phone,he was beyond angry then for a minute I
thought what if he found out ngaleway ndiycele ku Ranger? Then I'm in deep shit! I put is food next
to the bed,went back downstairs ndabuya ne plate and juice for him ndafika ndamenzela kakuhle
ukutya kwakhe ndamlinda athethe agqibe

Me:"everything okay babe"?

Him:"NO! Yeses u X umuncu yerrr"!

I gave him his food,he sat down and ate. I sat there with him,I wanted to be there for him as a sound
box incase he needed one. Watya wandishiyela and got up,wanxiba...I knew something was going to
go down

Me:"wanna talk about it"?

Him:"I might not be home until late,don't stay up"

I put the plate aside and stood up,I clutched on his t-shirt and looked at his fuming eyes

Me:"please don't go hurt yourself okay"

Him:"I won't,but now I really have to go"

I lifted my face,our lips met as we shared a kiss for a couple of seconds then we stopped. He kissed
my forehead and left,I sat down ndagqibezela okwakutya ndakhupha la envelope and saw pictures
of Gudda with Yanga and two other guys on different occasions.... Then there was a flash,I knew new
immediately that I was right about him.

#323

I ate that food finish then I sat on the bed,took his laptop and plugged the flash ndamamela yonkinto
and watched the watchables then I took notes,the way I was disgusted ngu Gudda was unspeakable.
After everything Ntando has done for him and his family over the years now that his father is out he
spits him out and thank him like this? I started getting ready for bed,Sino and Owe brought the twins
who were already in pj's
Sino:"mama can we sleep with you tonight"?
Me:"erh...okay"
Owe:"uzolalaphi utata kengok Sino"?
Me:"this bed is big enough for all of us boy,go brush your teeth and come to bed"

They went to brush their teeth while I texted Soso rescheduling to the following day since I couldn't
meet him namhlanje. The kids came back salala,I only realized ekseni that Ntando didn't come home
at all so I called him,he didn't pick up ndamyeka ndabuyela ndalala just for one more hour. After an
hour I woke up kunuka yena nje iroom yonke,I went to open the windows then heard a whistle in
the shower,I woke Sino and Owe up bayochama eroomini yabo then I changed my boys waphuma
uNtando ephole ku medulla

Him:"nanku mfazi womntu"

I ignored him,wabuya wazohlala next to me,still wrapped in a bath towel one of his sons came
crawling to him getting up using his back for support

Him:"you didn't sleep well"?

Me:"I slept fine"
Him:"then uqumbeleni"?
Me:"you should have atleast told me aw'zobuya last night"
Him:"but I texted you,kwi iPhone"

I didn't even know ba iphi kwalo phone yes'bini,maybe its in my bag.

Me:"I'm gonna need your car again,if you don't mind"

Him:"babe"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"this has nothing to do with last night does it? Utheni"?
Me:"andinanto man,I guess I'm anxious about this party"
I got up,he followed and pulled my arm

Him:"come here"
He turned my face and then kissed me full on the lips then held the kiss,I breathed in his scent it
filled all corners in my body loosening all knots like a massage would. It wasn't hard to believe that
Ntando was my drug and somehow I was addicted to him, the minute our tongues colided we both
forgot that we had babies in the same room,clothes flew and bodies melted together and for a few
minutes we drowned in a sea of lust. When we were done I cleaned myself up and got dressed,I had
things to do and people to meet.
Once I was ready...

Me:"baby car keys ziphi"

Him:"jacket"

I kissed all three of them,took the keys and left. I went to finish off a few things before meeting up
with Lwandiso by lunch time and I was already tired,I missed my own house

Him:"ntwana yam why u hot kanje? I King ikuyeka njan maan uphume unje kwezi wolves zingaka"?

I couldn't help but laugh,how can Soso say this.

Me:"hau dude,don't do that worse I'm not even that beautiful"

We hugged and ordered lunch

Him:"hewethu,I said hot! Une figure ngath' uyakhweleta"

Me:"ndizothini unga khweleti ndine ndoda na"

Our food came through

Him:"hhmmm...thank you. So cuz,what's this you wanna tell me"?
Me:"yho mfethu,I've had enough of your relatives"
Him:"so early? What have they done to you"?
Me:"more like what are they planning to do"
Him:"ndimamele"
Me:"your uncle and his son want me to leave ta Beast,then destroy him"
He stopped eating wand'jonga
Him:"u Gudda loh ugrand mtase?"
Me:"hey Soso andimaz mtchana,ndoyisiwe qha mna"
Him:"maybe he has a death wish,so tell me,what should I do"
Me:"dig up Gudda,I want anything and everything about him. Especially if it won't link taBeast"
Him:"how much time are you giving me"?
Me:"I don't have time Soso,I want all of this before I return to PE"
Him:"okay I can do that,but,I'm gonna need you to take your inlaws ubase kwakho coz I don't want
no destructions"
Me:"akho problem,I'm sure no mama will be glad to have a full house"

We ate our lunch then headed to his flat,two minutes was enough ndingenile and Ntando called

Me:"ntwana yam"
Him:"hey,uphi"
Me:"uzand'thini"?

Just then his brothers appeared...

Him:"I want you to fetch o Kuhle kwa Titus,niye kwa X khona izonto zam end'funa nindphathele zona
pha"
Me:"zinton zona"?
Him:"uzaz'bona xa ufika pha"
Me:"mmkay"
Him:"uthi u Sino ucela umphathele iiwings kwa Chicken Licken"
Me:"sure,u Owe"?
Him:"ice cream"
Me:"but icecream ikhona nje endlini,ndcela uba khelele bendthenge ne syrup ezimbini"
Him:"okay,mna kthen ndingabuzwa ba ndfunani"?
Me:"there's no need,I know ufuna mna wena"
He chuckled
Him:"cummon babe"
Me:"am I lying?"
Him:"no,but ndcela und'phathele nee ribs mfethu"
Me:"ha.a babe yonke lento niyfunayo ikhona apho endlini"
Him:"uzondenzela obuya kwakho ke"
Me:"eshe,did you tell your brothers bahamba nam"
Him:"ewe I just called them before calling you"
Me:"okay,gotta go now"
Him:"sho"

I hung up and hugged abo sbari sancokolani for a few minutes then we went to X and upon arival we
were awaited by four brown boxes.
Me:"what's this X"?
Him:"I didn't open them sisteri"
I went to open one box ndabona utywala :/ well I should have known,but I told him we won't
have booze here... The twins loaded in the car
Me:"is Amanda coming"?
X:"yeah uzoza nam kwaksasa ngomso"
Me:"sure" sahamba sagoduka. Nd'the ndifika endlini kwabe kugcwele nje kumnyama kwi parking,we
offloaded,I locked the car and went inside bumping onto him ephuma,he tried kissing my lips I
looked the other way he met my cheek
Him:"gents,take those boxes to the basement"

I gave him his keys wahamba,I went to change ndanika u Sino iiwings zakhe then I went to the
lounge

Ma:"heh makoti"?
Me:"mama"
Ma:"I'm sure you won't mind preparing supper for us tonight,khesim'phumze u aunty"
Me:"oh,no akho problem ma"
Ma:"ebethe u Ntando kuzoza no Kuhle ke ubabale xa upheka"
Me:"sebekhona mama"
Ma:"ooh okay"

I was tired neh,but I couldn't say no to her maybe if it was my fiancé I would have protested. I rested
for a few minutes then I went to cook,first defrosted iiribs for umntu wonke then I made pap and
chakalaka ne grilled boerwors with icecream and either chocolate or caramel syrup/sauce for
dessert then later at supper time I dished up for wonke umntu walapha and served. When they were
done I collected and washed the plates,Gudda walked in ndsavasa izitya

Him:"mtakza"

I ignored him,wabuya and stood next to the sink

Him:"ugrand Tee"?
I continued with what I was doing as if he wasn't here let alone saying something.

Him:"did you guys fight? Uk'bethile? Cummon Tee tell me why you're upset pls,I can't help you if you
don't talk"

When I was done packing the plates I left him there,took my kids who were bathed and in Pj's
already sayolala. I wasn't sleepy but I was tired,just as my kids were dozing off their father walked in

Him:"babe ulele"?
Me:"hm.mh"
Him:"your brother wants to see you"
Me:"which one"?
Him:"Polo"

I got out of bed and wore slippers

Me:"where is he"?
Him:"basement"
I wore my gown
Him:"u sharp"?

I just nod and left him ndaya ku Marc fika ehleli yedwa we hugged and sat down facing each other

Him:"are you okay? I mean,happy"?

Me:"yes why do you ask"?
Him:"I don't know,I just have a feeling that you're in danger"
Me:"as you can see,I'm still in this whole piece"
Him:"are you sure everything is okay,even between you and Beast"?
Me:"I'm sure boet,we've never been this happy"

Whathula and studied my face,maybe he was just tryna read my soul through my eyes. I don't know.
Him:"okay then,but know that I'm always a phone call away"
Me:"you're even on speeddial on my phone"
Him:"good,now come gimme a hug"

We hugged and left the basement,on our way out we bumped on Gudda,Beast and Ranger. Gudda
pulled me aside bahamba abanye ndamjamela,Ntando turned and our eyes met waphinda wahamba

Him:"okay,we're alone tell me what's going on with you,either you are deliberately avoiding me or
you're hiding something"
Me:" khand'yeke Gudda ndoda"
Him:"Tee,I can see right through this façade. Please don't protect him if he's abusing you,that man
has no mercy he is beyond dangerous"

I yanked my arm away from him in disgust wand'jonga taken back a bit

Me:"that man is the same man whose blood you and your fucking parasite family are sucking and
incase you forgot,he is my fiancé so please stop it okay! Stop it and leave me the hell alone"
Him:"protecting him won't help you yaz S'bongile and it won't change the fact that he is dangerous"
Me:"dangerous? Uyamaz ba u dangerous kanti"?
Him:"trust me,I know him better than you ever could. He doesn't think twice when he's out to kill"
Me:"then why the fuck would you have secret meeting with his rivals Gudda"?
Him:"wha-"
Me:"cut the act will ya! I know about your numorous secret meetings with Yanga okay!? You can
fool everyone around here but not me,you know what go tell your daddy that I said if anything
wrong happens ngomso kule party I will come after the both of you with everything and the very last
drop of my blood"

Oko ekhamisile... I took a step and stopped,turned and faced him

Me:"if you think yall are going all gangsta on me and my family,think again...I was subconscious
when I killed Killa but I promise you,I wouldn't take even a minute of hesitation to kill the two of you
ngokwam. You ungrateful pigs"

I left him standing kulo passage ndayolala,fika uNtando ethuthuzela u Uvelile

Me:"utheni"?
Him:"sshush,uyalala"

Well I got in bed and faced the other way,he came and sat on the covers

Him:"you okay"?
Me:"i just need some good sleep thats all"
Him:"mmmh,night ke"

I didn't respond.
Waphakama,turned off the light wahamba.

#324

I tossed and turned the whole night kunzima nolala. Oko ndihleli till midnight ndancama
ndamfounela

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"baby ndcela ubuye"
Him:"haibo,sew'vukile"?
Me:"I didn't sleep a wink"
Him:"why? What's wrong?"
Me:"yho ungafika umntu sebhubhile"
Him:"okay ndyeza"

I hung up ndaphakama and went to make myself ginger tea ndathatha iirusks and went back
upstairs,Ntando walked in ndisando ngena. He went to look at his sons then came to sit next to me...

Me:"you were drinking"

Him:"sise basement nje babe I wasn't driving"
Me:"mmmh"
Him:"soooo...I'm here,what's up"?
Me:"there's something I have to tell you"
Him:"owkay"

I ate all my rusks ndagongqoza i tea yam,I wanted to say this the correct way carefully thought coz
Ntando is still Beast and I don't want him to get angry infront of me. I suddenly grew some fear...

Him:"baby thetha kalok"

Me:"Ntando ndoyika okay"
Him:"uyoyika? Woyika ntoni"
Me:"wena"
Him:"woyika mna? Haibo"!

I moved and supported my back with the headboard,I looked at my hands and fiddled with my nails

Me:"I know you said I shouldn't involve myself in your business but in this case I guess I acted in the
moment because of anxiety and anger"
Him:"ndimamele"
Me:"I uhm... I went out of my way and found something that might or might not be useful to you or
us"
Him:"uthetha nganton kengok S'bongile"

I went to take his laptop and plugged the flash

Me:"watch this"
He took it to his lap and watched,I went back to the same position. After watching he closed it
wayoyibeka and came back to sit down

Him:"how did you get this"?

Me:"doesn't matter"

Wakhe wathula...

Me:"I'm sorry but I thought you needed to know"

Him:"thank you"
Me:"you're not angry with me"?
Him:"no"
Okay now I was shocked! What the hell just happened? I'm sure he saw the shock in my face when
he turned and looked at me,I just didn't know whether to be even more scared or just hug him.
Him:"hey,come here...sondela"
I slid on the sheet and went closer to him then we kissed gqiba wand'jonga

Him:"when we gave ourselves a second chance we agreed on no secrets so thank you,nyhani"

Me:"so what now"?
Him:"I need time to think"
Me:"don't kill them,please"

He looked at me sternly,kissed me more then got up,ndamlandela and held his arm
Me:"baby please,don't do it"
Him:"go back to sleep my love,we will come back to this when we're in PE. Focus kule party,make
sure everything goes well"

I just nod,Ntando waphinda wahamba mtchana. I won't lie,I panicked. What made me even more
afraid now is the chill in his voice and all over his face,he didn't give away any sign of anger or fued
uvele nje wangu Ntando. Worst part is,I couldn't unshow him this...he's seen it and there's nothing I
can or will do about it. I knew Gudda will be on his toes from now on coz he knows what I know
Ntando knows,I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't pitch for the party,to go and cover his tracks or
recreate their plan benoyise.

I decided to sleep,tomorrow is another big day that needs my full attention and energy.

Woke up ksasa and prepared everyone and everything that needed me then I went to check on the
venue ndafika kukho oo Ntando I first went to speak to the organizer just to find out if everything is
ready nah... Ranger came to me as I was walking to the jumping castles to see if nyhan ku ready

Him:"Tee,ugrand"
Me:"hey,ndishap bhut' ugrand wena"
Him:"not ncam mfethu"
Me:"what's up"?
Him:"please don't show the big guy those vids and pictures"
Me:"erh,why"?
Him:"I don't want to be guilty of anything,ndibaqhaphele phezolo naksasa vandag. They were
working very close together"
Me:"so you will be guilty of what"?
Him:"if the big guy sees ezaway uzomsusa immediately mfethu"
Me:"don't worry 'bout it,look I gotta go neh"

I left him and went out,bumped on Ntando and Gudda walking together laughing,okay now I was
afraid of what's going on in Ntando's head.. I felt Ranger's concern the most coz I know that akhonto
angayaziyo u Ntando now why ezoba cozy no Gudda? They looked up as I approached them,I faked a
smile and walked into Ntando's embrace
He whispered: "you don't have to fake that beautiful smile" I giggled and whipered back: "what are
you up to"?
Wahleka and released me

Me:"ntwana yam,Anisebahle"
Bae:"uyaphi"?
Me:"eshe,I have a home incase we forgot"
Bae:"eshe? Really now"
Me:"excuse me gentlemen,I other have priorities waiting for me. 'twaz nice seeing yall"
He kissed my cheek and let me go,I went to where I parked his car and got in xand'vala ucango I saw
Gudda approaching I just started the ignition and reversed ...
Unfortunately he caught me xand'qala ungathi ndiyaphuma wena infront of the car,I abruptly
stopped and cursed.

He came to my side,the window was already rolled down.

Him:"Tee,I just wanted to apologise about last night"
Me:"what happened last night"?
Him:"erh...la convo bes'nayo. I would like to explain laway yee meetings no Yanga"
Me:"what meetings are you talking about Gudda"?
Him:"our convesation izolo,you said you knew about my secret meetings. You don't remember"?
Me:"heh mtase,either I was sleepwalking or whatever you're smoking is too much for you"
He looked very confused at me...
Me:"and whatever it is you should stop it,otherwise izok'faka ejaivin"

I started my car again

Me:"wait,did you say you had meetings with Yanga"?
He snapped out of the confusion box

Him:"no..no mtakza forget I said anything. Sharp,drive safe"

Me:"mmmkay sharp"

I laughed as I drove home,uphambene yaz u Gudda. Ucing'ba yena ndakhe nda sleep walker ngenye
imini? I arrived home and made food for myself ndatya,I heard a knock u Sis Fatima went to check
then came back

Her:"sisi unamandwendwe"
Me:"nd'cela ubazise ngapha sisi"

The way I screamed when I saw Amanda and her son walking in,we hugged then bahlala phantsi

Me:"heh man,awsemhle"
Her:"enkosi babe,kodwa wena u worse"
Me:"unjalo ke Amanda,khame nd'yabuya"

I went to the kitchen coz I haven't seen umama oko ndbuyile

Me:"...sisi uph' umakhulu"

Her:"ebenxibisa abantwana upstairs"
Me:"ooh okay,ndcela wenzele oo Amanda something to eat if awkho busy sisi"
Her:"okay sisi akho ngxaki"

I returned to Amish and her son with juices

Me:"ung'bani gama lakho ndoda"?

Him:"ngu Axolile sisi"
Me:"heee hamba Amanda,nenze i combination yamagama enu"
Her:"undimele ke friend please,ikhona indaw' yolala? We need to catch up,manyhani"
Me:"izobakhona if X won't mind you sleeping here"
Her:"He knows"

Fatima came with their food batya sancokola for a couple of minutes then Ntando walked in and
stood next to my chair wadlala nomntwa ka X
Him:"molweni...Amish,yey indala lentwana"
Her:"ukhule msinya nyhani"
Him:"andilambe babe,unxiba nini kanti"
Me:"I'll get dressed now now,ndcela ubuze iimpahla ku Fats bendcele yena for ironing"
Him:"mmh,sharp Amanda"
Her:"okay bhuti"

He left and went upstairs...

Amanda oko endijongile,ndamhlaka coz I knew what she was going to say

Me:"thetha friend"
Her:"usenjena lomntu wakho? How do you deal with that"?
Me:"he's actually a nice person kanti chomi"
Her:"hay ithi uyamthanda,akatshintshi tu u ta Beast. He still sounds like that control freak ndimaz
eyiyo chomi"
Me:"oh-kay,let me leave you before we go sentimental here. Ndizobuya xase sizohamba,if you need
anything pls talk to sis Fats neh"
Her:"kay"

I left her ndayokwenzela u bae something to eat then I took it up to our room ndafika evasa,our
clothes were layed on the bed,I undressed and went to join him in the shower. We shared a sponge
in silence... Then he spoke up

Him:"usadika lamntana nangoku"

Me:"who"?
Him:"Amanda,she was doing great ngok beninqabelene"

I didn't answer him,when I was done I went out and lotioned in our room,he followed wafika
nd'nxiba wathambisa naye wanxiba,I had decided that we wear blue jeans,white sneakers,white t-
shirts and matching caps each written our titles: King,Queen,Prince Uba and Prince Uve.

Him:"uqumbeleni kengok"?
Me:"andiqumbanga mna"
Him:"okay uthuleleni ke"

Again ndathula and just finished off my make up,I wanted to tell him Amanda wants to sleep over
but after what he said in the shower I couldn't,and to make matters worse I missed Amanda now
uvele wandenza dom.

Him:"okay baby something is definately wrong,what is it"

Me:"Amanda wants to sleep over,I already said akho ngxaki but now I'm not so sure"
Him:"oh,I didn't realize"
Me:"yep,I'm done here. Meet you downstairs"

He held my arm ndamjonga

Him:"she can come,I'll probably spend the night with the gents at the basement"
Me:"kay"
Him:"I'm sorry,I know you probably missed her"
Me:"cool,naku ukutya kwakho"

He let go of my hand wathula.

Ndathula nam.
#325

I left him and went to check on his kids ndabuyela to our room to pack their bags with changing
clothes and diapers...their dad had just finished eating

Him:"baby"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"come here"
Me:"Amanda is waiting for me downstairs babe"
He took my hand and drew me close looking deep into my eyes
Him:"I don't remember telling you I love you today"
Me:"doesn't matter wethu"
Him:"to me it does,I love you Mam'Zangwa,Khwalo,Ncuthu"
I blushed...who wouldn't,ebizwa kamnandi kangaka.

Him:"ndiyakuthanda nyhan and I don't ever wanna see you unhappy,especially not today"
Me:"yes sir,now can I go or we'll be really late"
Him:"not before I do this"

He smothered me with kisses I had to pull myself away from him wash'yeka encumile

Me:" uzohamba ngo Ranger mos wena babe"

Him:"baby I don't have to go with anyone...I've got cars,remember"
Me:"good,ndimkile ke nale yethu imoto"

Whatever he said after that I didn't even wanna hear it,I took all my children,umakhulu wabo no Fats
then Amanda and his son. Range ka bae iyokhala if iyikwazi but imeko ibisitsho. I drove us to the
park,umakhulu the kids and I went to sit at the main table and besekuqaliwe. As I sat down I saw
Eve,Keri,Joe,Luu and Sive in a nearby table. Now that's my family. I winked at Luu,he responded with
a smile... I got the shock of my life when I saw that Soso was made u MC :o Ntando said he would
handle the MC thing ngok'ya bendisenza iplanning,and even when I walked in ndimbonile ejaiva pha
no Kuhle qha bend'ngakhange ndimcingele nje kwaphela. He did his thing ndaxola nam,and I'm sure
everyone else was satisfied kuhleka nje kodwa. At the end he gave us,the parents,to say something.
A vote of thanks is what he called it but Ntando was nowhere to be found so I gave his mom the
opportunity wathetha ke nje ngamzali then lastly was my turn... I didn't even prepare a speech.
Me:"uhm...molweni firstly,I'd like to appreciate all of you most especially everyone who came from
out of town including my family,the Smiths. I know how busy your lives are but today you guys left
everything to be here and celebrate with these two princes,thank you guys so much. Erh... I'd like to
also appreciate my inlaws,umakhulu has been here the whole week making sure things are in order
while I was at work,Kay and twin thank you guys ningo tamnci for real; I won't be able to name every
single person but I am grateful to all of you,you have made this day extra special...one day once
they've grown nabo bazozbonela that they have such wonderful people in their lives,uncle Soso and
your craziness,Lindo thank you for sharing him with me babe I know sikhe sidike at times. Lastly,I'd
like to thank Ntando,worse andimboni ke,nonetheless I wanna thank him for his support throughout
the whole pregnancy alone coz it wasn't an easy one. Any other man would have run away..."
Soso:"ngaphandle kwam"
Me:"yes ngaphandle kwakho,enkosi marn mtase...for everything..."

Ntando walked in with a glass of whiskey and it wasn't the first one,I could see it in his eyes...the
screams and applause from the people almost threw me offguard :o since when is he famous na
ngoku? He came to stand next to me,not forgetting to kiss my forhead baphinda ba scream'er aba
bantu

Me:"as I was saying..."

Him:"kuthethwa nganton babe"?
Me:"umbulelo"
Him:"oh I arrived at the right time mos...okay,lemme start by appreciating all of you from the
highest to the lowest. The tallest to the shortest,the fat and the slim,rich or poor...thank you for
dropping everything and making my sons birthday your priority just for today"

>>applause<<
Just like that Ntando stole my moment,yangath andikho :v

Him:"having said all of that,I have to thank this beautiful woman next to me. Ungamboni
engaka,ethule she's one helluva strong woman. What you don't know is that the doctors told her she
will be blessed if she carried up to six months,when she did carry up and beyond God blessed her
even more with twins coz we were expecting umntwana omnye. It wasn't an easy road,people close
to us will know what I'm talking about... Partner in crime ka uncle Soso ke leh. I'm still trying to figure
out who is more stout between the two,what I know is that apho omnye amosha khona,one will
cover the tracks of the other. Enkosi Khwalo. Ngento yonke"

Suddenly there was silence,aba bantu bebesando hleka ngok'ngok were now emotional.

Me:"ahem,well he said it all. Enkosi kumntu wonke once again,and let the kids have fun"

Soso took over again,there was a self service buffet but kwaqala thina and family then everyone else
followed. After eating,Ranger came to fetch the kids wayobadlalisa kwi jumping castles,swings etc
then I had a chance to go mingle with my family but ndafika uLuu kuthwa umke no Ntando

Eve:"nice words he said outhere,heartfelt and believeable"

Me:"he was saying the truth, we had the most difficult pregnancy yet"
Keri:"you look beautiful and happy,all difficulties must have disappeared after you gave birth"
Me:"hm"
They gave me the look...

Me:"did you guys bring your kids"?

Sive:"yeah bayadlala,why do I feel like we're missing something"?
Me:"I wouldn't know,I'll be back now ndfuna u Soso"

I left them and went looking for Soso,and only saw Laa sancokola wand'khapha sakhangela uSoso
sadibana no Ntando ndambona ba uyoyika u Landile

Bae:"babe"
Me:"mh"
he kissed me,on purpose. Andaz,maybe okukhweleta kwakhe was in the blood

Bae:"Titus"
Him:"sho ta"
Bae:"where are you taking my wife"
Me:"we're looking for Soso,khange umbone"?
Bae:"he's at that braai area with Sihle"
Me:"sho,sambe Landile"
He followed behind me...

Me:"don't show him uyamoyika Laa,he'll intimidate you oko"

Him:"I can't help it mfethu,and I don't understand why he does that coz we're cousins now
akunabakho nocela i loveback"
Me:"all I'm saying is don't show him your fear,or else uzongcungcutheka every time you see him"

He kept quiet sade safika koo Soso

Me:"I've been looking for you"
Him:"andiyo ndodakho kemnake,mnka! By fire"!

We laughed

Me:"eintlik uyand'lahla Soso? During the peoples nogal"?

Him:"Fire! Fire! Ooh guddagudda fire! This woman wants me dead,can you help her find her man"
Me:"do you really have to be this dramatic? Dude,I just came to thank you"
Him:"rabarabaraba! Kharakharakhalakatha!"
Sihle:"don't mind him,he's been like this all week after we went to check out chicks at some other
church"
Me:"heee! Let me leave you guys, I think I'll see you ngomso ke"
Sihle:"sharp sisteri"

I left them and went to mingle with other people,I had enough of this mingling I wanted my quiet
alone time,in my own bed,under the covers and just block everything out. It had been a long
tiresome day and bekusebusuku ngoku I looked all over but couldn't find my kids so I called their dad

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"I can't find your kids,I wanna go home"
Him:"I took them home with granny and Fats"
Me:"baby you should have told me though"
Him:"I thought you'd want some time out and catch up with your people,why sew'funa ugoduka so
early"?
Me:"I'm tired babe,lemme check Amanda then go"
Him:"mmmkay"

I hung up and called Amanda,she came with her son sahamba. My sisters had gone to Sleep at
Marc's place...safika thina endlini and went straight to bed but I first took her son to the other
children in the other room then we changed into pj's I called Ntando again,angafiki apha s'lele afune
ibed yakhe

Him:"hay kodwa ndya hlukunyezwa namhlanje"

Me:"eshe,s'yalala thina I just wanna make sure we understand each other nge sleeping"
Him:"hay ndi grand lalani"
Me:"sharp skeem"
Him:"ayt"
He hung up
Amanda got in bed,I followed

Her:"uyamthanda nyhan friend"

Me:"haha,you don't know half of it"
Her:"I listened to what he said at the party,akadlali ngawe shame ubhut' wabantu. Und'phoxile ke
kona"
Me:"uphoxe alot of people kanti,don't feel bad about it"
Her:"mmh.hm neh,so Tee tell me konke mngane. What have you been up to"

We began from the top ndam'balisela almost everything,there are some things she don't need to
know no matter how much of a friend she is.

#326

Sithe sisancokola,my phone rang...

Me:"Hello"
Eve:"is Amanda with you"?
Me:"yes,why"?
Eve:"damn! Look,we're coming over okay? Get out of bed and tell her she can't sleep there"
Me:"what's going on"?
Eve:"I'll explain later,just do as I'm saying"
Me:"oh-kay"

I hung up and got out of bed ndakhulula ipj pants and wore the jeans I had worn emini

Me:"I'm sorry friend but kuzofuneka unxibe,my sisters are on their way to fetch me"
She didn't move an inch...

Her:"niyaph? But I thought tonight would be about us just chilling and catching up"
Me:"as you can see Amanda that has now changed,pls get dressed uyothatha u Axo kula room"
Her:"hey hay sana"

She got out wanxiba then went to take umntanakhe,my sisters arrived with Marcus and curiosity
was killing me I swear

Me:"guys what's going on"?

Marc:"urhm,Amanda right? Come lemme take you home"
Her:"is everything okay"?
Eve:"nothing a family can't handle sweetie,now off you go. Goodnight"
Her:"oh-kay...Tee I'll call you ksasa"
Me:"okay,be safe"

Marc drove them home, I was left staring at Eve and Keri. Eve just opened the fridge and removed
the icecream tub,5L wathatha her spoon and went to sit at the lounge. Keri and I took our own and
followed,we ate a couple of spoons akhomtu uthethayo,I stopped and looked at both of them

Me:"Eve? Keri? What's going on"?

Eve:"its a long story,but here's a short version of it: she's working with some of ta Beast's men
against him"
Keri:"so basically what Eve is saying is that,she was sent as a spy to steal inside info from you or
documents around the house"
Eve:"anything that will take him down"
Me:"no"
Eve:"yep,eat up mtase"
Me:"no man guys,Amanda would never do that. Like,no I know her she'd never do that"
Keri:"people change my dear"
Ndlela le bendimathe ngayo,I hate it when Ntando is right. Even this icecream became rock hard
ayakwaz nokwehla sis'gquku ebendinaso,Marc returned and told me the whole story and how he
found out about it then asked Eve to call me coz this friend of mine was a wolf in sheep skin. I swear
if I had magic I'd change Ntando angabi yi gangsta,coz now I'm suddenly making unneccessary
enemies with the people I'm supposed to trust,family and friends. I wished it wouldn't come to the
point where Ntando is the only person I have in my life coz I knew if it comes to that uzogeza with a
ground to stand on eyazi ba I have no one else but him. After a long series of chatting they left and
returned to Marc's place,it was almost morning (past 3am) when they left so ndavela ndenza i spring
cleaning,when I was done I cooked porridge,made english breakfast for everyone ndakhupha i
laundery and started washing it. When I was done I went to hang it outside,ikhona i dryer but I just
wanted something to do and ingqondo yam was going back and forth on how easy it must have been
for Amanda to agree to do this without considering our friendship at all,at the end of the day she
never liked Ntando,but at the begining of our relationship she kept the pretense which made me
believe she had no problem with him anymore. Moreover,this meant Ntando had bigger problems
than Gudda alone. X was in this too,who else was in this engavelanga?

Him:"S'bongile"

I snapped and looked at Gudda,what is he doing here this time?

Him:"ugrand? Why you hanging clothes this time"?

Me:"what are you doing here this time"?
Him:"bend'shaya iround nje,ta Beast said I should come check on yall"
Me:"Ntando sent you? Uph yena"?
Him:"erh...u busy"

Mxm
I just continued what I was doing,and watched him go. When I was done with the clothes I went
upstairs and made my bed,I almost slipped on something,when I looked down I saw Amanda's
phone. I sat down and tried opening it but it had a pass lock... I dialed Soso,he didn't pick up the
phone it diverted to his twin way'bamba

Him:"hello"
Me:"hey,uph u Soso"?
Him:"he's around is he not picking up"?
Me:"ha.a worse I need him"
Him:"I don't think he'll be any useful,he's kinda wasted right now"
Me:"tjo,okay."
Him:"ubufunani maybe I can help"
Me:"do you know anything about phones,technology"
Him:"you mean you wanna break into someones phone"
Me:"something like that"
Him:"I could try but not now"
Me:"thank you, text me the time and place to meet ozoba comfortable kuyo"
Him:"okay sharp...one more thing,if the phone is not yours pls remove the battery incase of
tracking"
Me:"oh okay,thanks"
Him:"sharp"
I removed the battery ndafaka la phone kwi hand bag yam then I went to soak myself in the bath.
After two hours I got out and went to the bedroom ndfika u Ntando ekhulula

Me:"good morning"
Him:"I thought you said your friend is sleeping over"
Me:"change of plans"

He undressed and wore a gown,I lotioned my body and searched for clothes to wear. He came to
stand behind me,and pulled me close. He reeked of alcohol,good thing I was looking the other way
and not at him directly,he kissed my neck

Me:"don't you think you should freshen up first"

Him:"andi fresh mamakhe"
Me:"baby pls,unuka ubila no tywala tana"

He kissed my neck and whistled to the bathroom,I got dressed in high waisted white denim
shorts,pink lace top and white sneakers. I wore a gown over this outfit and went to check on my
babies fika besalele ndabashiya and went to the lounge umama was already there,I greeted her and
went to dish up and served everyone who was awake. I took my fiancé's food upstairs ndafika
sengena ezingubeni ezolela

Me:"tatakhe aw'zotya k'qala"

Him:"hm.mh,later"
Me:"okay,zokucika apha"
Him:"mh"

I put his food on the bedside table ndathatha iporridge ndayisa ezantsi. The time was now past eight
and Laa texted me the place to meet,I figured I might as well have breakfast there. I removed the
gown,took the keys and handbag ndahamba ... Umama wand'bona and came after me wafika
xandingena emotweni

Her:"haibo! Makoti,awkwaz uhamba unjalo. Did Ntando see you? Uhamba ze noko mtanomtu"

Lol I wanted to laugh... But I contained myself

Me:"he knows I dress like this mama,don't worry yourself about it"
Her:"uyakuyeka unje? Hay hay hay,soze! Ubungeno nxiba a longer trouser ke sisi!Kalok sekufana
noba ungumfazi womntu ngok,futhi ke uzele. Awnokwazi uhamba eztratweni unje. Hay noko"

I got out of the car,I went to change into cut-out white skinny jeans ndahama,still didn't see no
difference coz kwezi cutouts my thighs were showing. Anyway I went to meet Landile,we ordered
breakfast then ndamnika le phone. He said he'll need about thirty minutes with it I told him
ndizoyilinda so he suggested we go to Soso's flat enzele khona leway safika kulele wonke umntu,I
woke Sihle up while Landile went to his room eyokwenza lento. Sihle half opened his eyes and
mumbled something waphinda walala :/ I just focused on my phone coz there was nothing else I
could do. Nd'the ndsahleli ndabawela i icecream I got up and went to scavage Soso's fridge and
found a tub unopened...nday'vula and scooped up for myself and went to sit down. Landile came out
with the phone

Him:"okay,done"
Me:"oh that was fast. Thank you"
Him:"pleasure"
I took the phone,put it in my bag ndagqibezela i icecream yam sincokola and laughing..when I was
done he accompanied me to the car kwavuka no Soso esimve ngelizwi sendingena emotweni

Him:"I thought I heard your voice,why ungand'vusanga"?

Me:"hey buddy,you look terrible"

He came forward with a big brown envelope and stood next to his twin

Him:"i party yakwakho made me look like this fondin"

Me:"yeah whatever,uvuke send'hamba ke mfethu"
Him:"bungezanga kum dan"?
Laa:"nope,she came to see me"
Him:"eshe,uright. Wipe that smirk off your face Landile awsoze ndishiywe nguwe ku bheyibhi wam"
Me:"about that,you dumped me izolo kukho ichom zakho sooo..."
Him:"kengoku? Hewethu I can dump you ndbuyelane nawe anytime I want."
Laa:"ncooh look at you,are you crying"?
Him:" Uyi rebound Laa thula"
Me:"you guys look cute though"

He pouted and handed me the envelope

Him:"here"
Me:"thank you...see yall"

I got in my car and drove to the beach,I removed my shoes,took my phone and took a walk in the
beach. I needed a clear head... So much has been going,still is going on infact. I had forgotten about
time and responsibilities just for a while and I seemed to be enjoying it. I found a rock and sat
down..looked ahead at the sea.

Me:"I wonder where I draw this strength and determination. Will it even be beneficial in the long
run? What if..."

I sighed and closed my eyes,I could feel danger ahead. Exactly the kinda danger that my brother was
talking about just that I couldn't make out where exactly the danger is. Or to whom it may be.
Lwandiso kept on calling me but I didn't feel like talking to him right now,I didn't feel like being
dramatic or like laughing I just wanted this peace. A private call came through,I didn't pick up until
caller Id showed X on my screen...

Me:"X"
Her:"Trina ndim Amanda"
Me:"oh,hey what's up"?
Her:"chomi khange uy'bone i phone yam pha kwakho"?
Me:"ha.a when last did you see it"?
Her:"ey andkho sure,maybe I lost it at the park yaz. Okay sharp friend"
Me:"have you tried tracking it"?
Her:"ewe asiyfumani ithi tracker disabled"
Me:"yho xolo chomi"
Her:"khayeke neh"
Me:"sharp"
Uzoyazi indaw'yakhe.
I saw an icecream man and went to buy one nda stroller,after some time I went back to that rock
just one more time before I head home... If only life could be this peaceful.

#327

I decided to go back home,it was close to lunch time. I parked the car and took out Amanda's
phone,paged through it. I read all her messages and obviously saw personal things that I wasn't
supposed to see. I read her emails and whatsApp texts,thats where I saw the conversations about
this plan of theirs against Ntando,the way I wanted to leave Cape Town? Mh! When I had had
enough I put it back inside my bag,got out locking the car gqiba ndangena endlini I just wanted my
bed. When I passed by the lounge I heard Ntando and his mom having a serious convo ndadlula
ndaya eroomini,removed my shoes and jeans then got in bed covering myself with the shawl. It
wasn't long when I felt someone inside the room,I waited to hear anything since I thought it was
Ntando but I just felt the presence no sound whatsoever,I uncovered my head and saw a shadow by
the window almost as if someone had jumped off the balcony. I got up and went to check the
window,then I saw lomntu enyubeleza and jumped over to the other side of the fence laqala uvalo,I
swung a gown over my body and went for the door only to be met by Ntando's hard torso
Him:" hey,when did you come back? U right? You look flushed"
Me:"someone was in here,just now I saw him jumping over that fence"

He went to the window and got out wema kwi balcony then came back inside calling someone

Him:"Ranger,phaa ezkhathini I need you to go to the old warehouse in Mossel Bay"

Range:"sho ta,ndihamba nabani"
Him:"wedwa,I'll follow"
Range:"ude wayaz' ba nguban lo umke nale way"?
Him:" ngu Ocean,uphumapha ngok ebezoy'beka"

I was scared out of my boots. What happened to him having a tight security nah? Unless this was
someone who knows the system,is that what he meant when he mentioned Ocean in that
phonecall? I went to the bathroom ndabuya and sat down,he was busy on his tablet then noticed I'm
waiting for him way'beka ecaleni.

Him:"how was the beach"?

He knows I know all his cars have trackers,but does he have to make it that obvious that
uyand'khangela when I'm not around?
Me:"tonight we're going back to PE"
Him:"oh, umakhulu ebebawela umboleke abantwana for the rest of the year"
Me:"yho that's like four whole months?"

I got up and started packing our clothes,except for his.

Him:"so what's your answer"

Me:"she already has two kids to look after,how will she manage with four"?
Him:"I don't know"
Me:"I'll have to think about it,but now I need to get out of Cape Town and back to my own space"
Him:"kay"

I realized that I wasn't gonna be told about this 'thing' so nam mandvele ndithule and keep to
myself. When I was done packing I went to lie on my back on the bed
Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"Ntando"
Him:"u grand"
Me:"tchi haikengok,yinton le und'buza yona"
Him:"und'phoxelani kengok"
Me:"khand'yeke mfethu"
Him:"ndingu mfowenu ngoku"?
Me:"I really don't feel like talking. Please tatakhe"
Him:"uyanqumnka"?

:o
I didn't answer him,my phone rang ndaphendula knowing uzond'yuca u Soso k'qala.

Me:"Titus"
Him:"kunini ndikufounela mfaz' ndini"
Me:"ubuzothini"?
Him:"you won't even apologize for deliberately not answering my calls Trinalique"?
Me:"no Lwandiso I won't apologize okay,idlulile leyo now we're talking. What's up"?
Him:"rhaaaa! Yaz uyand'qhela mtase! Njeng'ba u ta Beast ekwenza i first born yakhe,andkazali
kemna. Tchin,yhin'le ndagezelwa nguwe nge cawe ezintsukwini"
Me:"uzothi xa u serious ke uphinde u foune mtaka dabs"

I hung up
Ntando eye'd me

Him:"nixabene"?
Me:"no"
Him:"then why umphoxa uSoso"
Me:"ayikufuni suy'ngena. Have you told Mo syahamba"?
Him:"utheni nah wanolaka namhlanje"?
Me:"Mo babe? Umxelele"?

He shook his head and called his pilot ndaphakama and went to my babies kwenye iroom fika u Uba
elele I took his twin brother and went back to my room with him,his face lit up when he saw his dad.
Thirty minutes was a lot ndidlala nomtanam when Fats came to my room saying I have a
visitor,Ntando asked ba ngubani she said ngu Soso ndaphela yintsini and told her to tell him andikho
wahamba wayomxelela.

Ntando waphakama waphuma,I knew he was gonna tell Soso ndikhona so I remove the gown and
wore trackpants and followed them ndafika enyabe u Soso elounge

Me:"Ntwana yam"
Him:"I hate you right now"

I put Uve on his dad's lap and went to sit next to Soso,taking his hand

Me:"but why would YOU hate me,I'm supposed to hate you"

Him:"hate me? Why? What have I done to you"?
Me:"you chased me away ngee tongues ulibele? And said I should go find my man. I found
him,nanku so wena ufuna nton kum? I'm pretty sure and'fani no Lindo"
Him:"shit! Not that again,Tee sudlala ngam mfethu. Do you know how much you cost me,nje by not
picking up my call"?
Me:"I'm sure you will tell me"
Him:"dude I lost a bet ngenxa yakho now I have to buy Hennessy ne KWV 10 for those flippen
morons"

I laughed at him,I could see the confusion in Ntando's eyes. But I told him not to get involved
:p soze ay'passe

Me:"if ungandenzela nje i favour encinci then I could buy one of those bottles for you"
Him:"I would do anything for you uyayaz nawe lonto"
Bae:"would you even smoke weed for her"?
Him:"as soon as they legalize it grootman,uzobana thul'ubheke"
Bae:"hm,would you even kill? I mean you said anything"
Me:"hah! Baby"
Him:"no offense ta Beast but if I kill for her wena uzobasenza ntoni"?
:v
Ntanda wahleka
Me:"khona inyama that needs to be braaied,ungayenza"?
Bae:"uyeka mna ndikhona ufuna yenziwe ngu Soso"?
Him:"ta Beast,grootman. Uyayaz siyakuncanywa xas'dibene right? But Sometimes you gotta read
between the lines,in silence"

I went out leaving the two of them to argue,I defrosted the meat and marinated it then called Soso
to go start the fire. While he was braaing Kuhle and the others came to the house,Ntando
entertained them phof uqale wabavasisa iimoto. I left them and went to my room,I didn't have time
to read through the envelope contents earlier so now was my only chance,phof I could have read
these things nase Bhayi but before I got down to that I copied everything to my flash,making sure I
have even the slightest of detail aw'ngekhe wazi when you'll need to use these things hey...when I
was done copying I put the phone back in my bag

I didn't hear Ntando come in,I didn't know how long he had been watching me ndive ngaye
sez'khohlelisa ndothuka. I looked at him then back to the documents infront of me

Him:"what are you reading"?

Me:"how long have you been standing there"?
Him:"you haven't answered my question"

I collected everything and put them back inside the envelope

Me:"something I've been researching"

Him:"is it work related"?
Me:"ha.a"
Him:"so you left us outside for something that's not work related kodwa nguwe owenza i braai"
I got off the bed,put the envelope back into my bed ndakhupha la phone ka Amanda and handed it
to him

Him:"yeka bani"?
Me:"give it to X,yeka Amanda"
Him:"why ungamniki ngokwakho kengok? What is it doing here"?
Me:"she forgot it here. Please just give it to X babe"

He could tell I was up to something,but couldn't pin point what exactly.

Him:"uyabizwa zi guys phandle,X and Amanda are there too so you can give them yourself"
Me:"who invited them"?
Him:"I did...is there something you're not telling me"?
Me:"but you don't like her,why would you invite her apha Ntando"?

Wathula wand'jonga qha,I took the phone and went to give it to Amanda. Told her I found it under
the bed icimile,she looked very uncomfortable but appreciated ba ndimnikile. I mingled just for a
few minutes then took my portion of the meat and went back inside,to our room... Ntando was
going through those documents without my consent

Me:"I see you have been scratching in my bag"

Him:"what are you doing with these? S'bongile what are you up to now?"
Me:"getting to know my brother"
Him:"getting to know your brother by digging up dirt on him? Haibo"
Me:"but I was trying to help. You"
Him:"help me how? By researching my workers"

I took a deep breath..

Me:"if you read carefully you will know that he has been milking you for fifteen years,has built a
fitness business center using your resources and registered it under his baby mamma. He has
invested in a jewellery shop,brought shares at DMC and Lastly..."
Him:"whoah,stop"!
Me:"mmmkay"

He looked at the papers and then after a few minutes threw them across the room in anguish
ndothuka and had my back to the wall and my hands covering my mouth

Him:"when were you planning to tell me? How long have you known about this"?
Me:"I was gonna tell you once I verified everything"

I have never been so afraid of the man that I love in my entire life,he had turned navy ngumsindo
now I didn't know whether he was angry because I did the research and didn't tell him,or he was
angry because of the findings. I took a deep breath and turned,walked to the door but before I could
open it,he spoke up...nda freeza!

Him:"Uyaphi"?
I slowly turned and looked at him,almost trembling just at the sound of his voice.

Me:"going downstairs,giving you space"

Him:"lock that door and come sit down"
Me:"baby..."
Him:"I will not repeat myself"
Me:"do we have to lock the door"?

The rage in his eyes answered my question,I locked the door and went to sit down. He paced up and
down the room until he finally smashed the mirror with his fist I almost screamed,I covered my
mouth coz I didn't want to draw attention from around the house not while his mother was still in
the other room. She doesn't know this other man in his son...

Me:"pl-pl-please calm down"

Him:"calm down? Calm down? Next thing you are going to tell me not to kill him coz he's your
brother? S'bongile do you have any idea how much I've lost all these years? The merchandize I lost
all because of your stupid brother? Kwa wena ngoku sew'yazi you don't tell me"?
Me:"but baby I was gonna tell you,I just found out when you walked in on me earlier"
Him:"so that justifies it? Okay. I'm giving you an opportunity right now to tell me what you know"
Me:"what I know"?
Him:"yes. Everything"
Me:"b-b-but baby uz'bonele everything was in there"
Him:"Amanda's phone"?
Me:"what about it"?
Him:"ibifuna nton apha"?
Me:"I told you she forg-"
Him:"yhooo! S'bongile don't patronize me okay? Please,not right now. Not today"
Me:"please don't shout at me"
Him:"khaw'thethe man!!"

I almost jumped of the bed,felt like he was roaring! Heee zange ndamoyika uNtando kangaka in my
entire life.

Me:"X is in this too and he was using Amanda to get some sort of info kum,she really left her phone
so I saw the opportunity coz I wanted proof from her phone"

He shook his head

Him:"when did you become like this"?
Me:"like what babe"?
Him:"like this,sneaky. This is not you,andkwazi unjena mna S'bongile"
Me:"mara baby you are ungrateful,I did all of this for you,to help you realize what kind of people you
have around you and this is the thank you I get?"
Him:"ndcela uthule. Please,shut up! Okay"

He paced up and down again... I kept on breathing in and out slowly stabilizing myself.

#328

After some time...he sat down with his head between his knees. It was now dawning on him that
akanabantu,almost everyone he was working with was turning against him

Him:"go"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"phuma"

I got up and walked to the door...bt I couldn't get out. Ndema for a few minutes

Him:"alivuleki elicango"?
I turned and looked at him

Me:"I know you said I mustn't get involved but you know what,thank you for showing me the real
you ekudala ndixelelwa ngaye. Here I was,being in your corner,rooting for you,trying to protect your
interests but ungu Beast mos wena? You don't need to be protected by me,who am I to protect you
khona? Well mamela ke ndoda take a look around,point just one person who's got your back more
than I do! I disobeyed my brother's orders and advise for you,I know I forgave you sadlula nakulonto
but fact is I lost my first baby because of you and your crazy baby mama,when you were stabbed
here I risked my life and came to check on you"

He groaned ekula kona...

Me:"I welcomed and accepted your children as my own ndigezelwa ngoo nina,I risked my life and
health and got pregnant for you again and I know you never asked me to,it was both our
carelessness. I forgave you when you cheated,I opened your eyes when Chloe and your brother
played you,I exposed Gudda k'qala and I'm doing it again,now you know that even X and Ocean are
perpertrators thanks to me mahn!"

I didn't see him get up,I just suddenly felt his strong hand on my neck,My face was a mess,tears and
runny nose dominating

Him:"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Before I do something we will both regret"

He had pinned me against the door but the grip wasn't tight,I could still move

Me:"For fuck's sake Ntando I am the only person who has got your back why can't you see that? I am
the only person who is still in your corner,awuy'boni wena lonto Huh"?

I could feel his hand tightening a bit around my neck ndenyuka ngocango squealing kancinci...

Me:"uyand...krwitsha Ntando"
He came close to my ear and whispered in my ear...
Him:"I said shut up. If you don't,I will help you to"

Thank God someone knocked right then,he let go of me hissing and then he went to the bathroom. I
wiped my face,took a deep breath and opened the door ndagangwa bubuso buka X

Me:"now is not a good time"

X:"oh sorry,ndcela zuxelele i King uth u Ranger he has been calling him"
Me:"sho"
X:"an-"

I closed that door right then,I don't have time for pretenders and hypocrites. His tablet rang,I went
to check who the caller is and picked up since ingu Mo. He told me he's ready for us to go,yho
ndathatha izinto zam ngathi ndigxothiwe and went to put them in the car. When I was doing the last
run on the luggage ndafika uNTANDO eme by the window

Him:"ask Kuhle to drive you to the airport"

Me:"mh"

I took my things and my kids,asked Kuhle to drive me andabisatsho nako mama ba ndiyahamba into
endi sure ngayo is that my nanny and my kids are with me. The trip to the airport was a quiet
one,safika pha boarded and went home. I slept throughout the flight I only woke up when Fats said
we had landed,I just called a cab and it took us home...ndathatha abantwana bam and went to my
room,locked us in there ndabalalisa then ndalala.
We woke up three hours later,Uba was hungry und'vuse ngempama eshushu ndaphaphama
nd'caphuka I felt like slapping the lights outta him.

Me:"ufuze uy'hlo kak'bi maan wena"

Him:"mama mutsa"
Me:"mxm"

I took him and went downstairs ndamenzela ukutya and fed him. He melted my heart,he was making
cute conversations throughout the feeding wade wayogqiba ukutya. When he was done I made food
for his brother then prepared supper andmaz uphi u Fats but I practically didn't care ngalamzuzu. I
dished up,took my food,Uve's food and my child upstairs safika esalele. I went to look for my phone
in my bag and saw quite alot of missed calls but I only returned eka Marcus,I was still scared of
Ntando

Him:"finally,hoe gaan dit met jou"?

Me:"I'm okay"
Him:"are you sure? Beast told me everything"
Me:"I'm fine Marc"
Him:"he is sorry baby girl,I know you saw another side of him that you've never seen before and it
scared you but believe me,he is sorry"
Me:"how can you speak for him when he almost strangled me? You're supposed to be on my side
broer"
Him:"I am on your side Trina,I'm always on your side"
Me:"yeah whatever"
Him:"are the kids asleep"?
Me:"yes,goodnight"
Him:"I'll call you again tomorrow"
Me:"I'll be at work"
Him:"in the morning"
Me:"kay"

I hung up,changed into sleepwear and changed both my sons ndavusa ndatyisa u Uvelile sahlala
sancokolani until they fell asleep again then I just lay there. Every time I closed my eyes I would see
Ntando's angry face,his bloodshot eyes,the veins, the smashed mirror,the cuts in his hand,the mirror
pieces scattered all over near the bed... His anger stuck out the most. I couldn't understand why he
was angry with me... I wanted to understand it,I really did but as much as I tried,I couldn't. I didn't
see myself at fault at all,I was the righteous one here... Until I remembered that kwakuqala I was
told to not interfere. That was my mistake. Interfering. As I was thinking,tears were rolling down my
cheeks wetting my pillow on both sides. Past 12 midnight,I could hear my phone ringing but I didn't
wanna talk to anyone... I just wanted to be left alone. I tried my best to ignore the caller but he was
so persistant,I took the phone and looked at the screen my heart broke into a million pieces. The
time ndisabela, besendinesingqala
I couldn't say hello,I didn't wanna say hello

Him:"baby"?

But u Ntando us'thathaphi isibindi sokuthi baby after almost sucking life out of me?

Him:"I know you're scared of me right now,I don't blame you I just want to say I'm sorry about
earlier,I didn't mean to take out my anger on you. I'm really sorry"
I sniffed...
Me:"scared of you? You have no idea what you're talking about"

I was now reliving that moment,I couldn't stop wondering whether he would have really strangled
me if X hadn't knocked? Fearing the answer to that question brought tears to my eyes,and that
bitter lump in my throat

Him:"I don't know what you want me to say"

Me:"you don't know what I want you to say? Niqqa have you no shame? No guilt inside? you almost
strangled me for Christ sake Ntando"
Him:"baby ndcela uxolo"
Me:"no I'm sorry. I'm sorry,for loving you"
Him:"don't say that"
Me:"I have to go,I have work tomorrow"

I hung up.
Ndazama ulala kunzima phof. Ek'sen I woke up and prepared for work,Fats was up already making
porridge for my sons ndahamba ndaphangela. When I got to work I recieved a call from Sihle

Me:"Sihle"?
Him:"hey,unjani"
Me:"ndi right unjan wena"
Him:"ndi sharp,nilele kak'hle"
Me:"ewe Sihle"
Him:"I was just checking on you akhonto"
Me:"thank you,but I'm okay"
Him:"sharp ke,enjoy your day"
Me:"you too"

I worked throughout the day,throughout the week and throughout the month no sign of u Ntando. I
couldn't make out whether he was avoiding me or he was doing a follow up on what I left him
with,some days I would return from work and hear he called to check on his sons and that would
hurt me in some way coz I took it as akand'khathalelanga mna all he cared about were his
sons,ndamyeka ke nam. Some days I missed him,his touch,his laugh,his scent and mostly just his
presence. After about two months I heard there was bloodwar in Cape Town,I heard ndise
msebenzini from other provincial lawyers who apparently had clients in that battlezone. That day I
couldn't work... I knocked of by tea time ndafika endlini and called Ntando yangena ku voicemail,I
called Marcus same thing,Ranger,Gudda and even X zonke zitsho ku vm. I panicked and paced up
and down my room,I called Lwandiso kuba ese Kapa oh I thanked the good Lord when he picked up
after one ring

Him:"bheyibhi"
Me:"hey,uphi"?
Him:"ndise ndlini,why do you sound anxious,u right"?
Me:"andikho right chap,I think u Ntando is in danger when last did you speak to him or see him"?
Him:"errh it has been a while,ndigqibele kdala kwa uphuma apha mna"
Me:"Gosh! Worse his phone is on voicemail I've been calling him"
Him:"yhooo...now that you mention danger,I think ngabo aba benza udushe yaz kweli Kapa Mtase"
Me:"udushe lwantoni na Soso"
Him:"okay,don't overeact neh but there's been a bloodwar here since yesterday apparently ke its
some gangsta's"
Me:"oh God! Okay,sharp"

I hung up esathetha
I tried Ntando again in vain. I tried Gudda,nix. I sat in that room not knowing what to do but later
turned on the tv and watched news hoping to see something,atleast a lil broadcast on the matter
but nix... Again I tried Ntando but nothing.

I drank two capsules and got in bed ndalala,after four hours of sleep I was woken up by Marcus
calling tjoh I jumped up and answered

Me:"Marc are you okay? I've been calling you,where is your phone? Where are you? Dude I've been
worr-"
Him:"hey,hey I'm okay. Slow down"
I was breathing heavely

Me:"Marcus I can't get hold of Ntando,have you seen him? Please tell me he's okay"
Him:"he's fine,he's just a bit too preoccupied. He'll call you when he has a chance"
Me:"are you sure he's okay? Marc please tell me the truth, asseblief"
Him:"ek sê mos he is fine,tell you what, I'll tell him to call you"
Me:"thank you"
Him:"sharp"

He hung up,I waited in anticipation. I hadn't seen my babies and I wasn't in a state to see them,I just
needed to know if daddy is really fine. Fifteen minutes passed and this nigga wasn't responding... I
got up to go to the bathroom my phone rang sendi half-way I ran back to the bed and picked it up

Me:"baby"?
Him:"your brother says you're worried. Ndi grand otherwise"
Me:"but why didn't you return my calls? Do you know I've been worried sick Ntando? Akwehli noku
tya kum yet you had to wait for Marcus to tell you how worried I am for you to return my calls? I had
to hear emsebenzini about some bloodwars in Cape Town gqiba all your phones are off"?

I could hear him release a long breath...

Him:"ndithe ndi grand,andyaz kele yongehli kokutya ba ndizoy'thini mna"

Me:"mxm,akhonto iku khathalela wena kanjan"
Him:"take care of my kids. And yourself. Sharp"

He hung up.
I looked at the screen and smiled at how stupid I felt.

329

I sat in that position for a few minutes figuring what just happend :/ told myself to get over it.

***

After three months Ntando came back,without telling anyone phof. I just returned from work and
found him playing in the lounge with his sons,I couldn't look him in the eye,I guess I was still angry
with him so I just walked through to my bedroom ndakhulula and went to bath. Ogqiba kwam I wore
my pj's,took my laptop sat on my bed and started on my work. When I left work I was looking
forward to going home,having a home cooked meal and just having a bubbly moment with my sons
before rocking them to bed. But now that he was here,all that went down the drain. I buried myself
in my work until I heard them coming into the room...

Him:"nanku mama wabantu"

He came to put his sons on the bed,immediately Ubabalo came crawling to my laptop. I took it and
got off the bed collecting my documents that were scattered all around and across the bed,wore my
slippers then took my phone and headed for the door

Him:"haibo S'bongile"

Ndaphuma mna and went straight to the study and finished off my work there,when I was done I
went to make myself tea ndatya ne rusks. Ntando walked,I wasn't gonna stop eating and go to the
other room ngenxa yakhe...kwam? Soze!
Him:"your food is in the oven"
I ignored him
He came to sit across me wand'jonga,I just looked ahead and drank my tea in silence

Him:"for how long will you keep quiet?"

I just did not want to talk...at all

Him:"S'bongile ndiyathetha"

My phone rang,taka Gudda -_- ndsabele only because I wanted a distraction from this guy infront
of me...

Me:"low"
Him:"unjani"
Me:"I'm well unjani wena"
Him:"I'm good,my guess is that you heard"
Me:"about"?
Him:"your brother"
Me:"what about him"?
Him:"I thought he would have also called you,he's been at the hospital since a month ago"

I looked at Ntando,I just knew he had something to do with this. Guess I should be thankful he didn't
kill him,judging by the amount of anger he had when I last saw him but I told myself andizombuza tu
u Ntando,he'll tell me xa efuna.
Me:"I'm sure he's out by now"
Him:"he's not,what's worse is that these people who put him in there have burnt down his
businesses as well"
Me:"mmmh"
Him:"that's all you're going to say,mmmh? This is your brother S'bongile"
Me:"what do you want me to say kanti? Those are the repurcussions of the life he's living,but I'm
sure you know that very well"
Him:"you know that you are not safe too right"?
Me:"thank you for reminding me"
Him:"if Beast can do that to your flesh and blood without thinking twice what more of you who lives
in the same house as him"?
Me:"I believe he's still breathing,right"
Him:"oh so that justifies it"
Me:"ufuna ndithini ke"?
Him:"ndifuna uphume kule relationship mtanam kwa ngoku usakwaziyo,that man is dangerous. Take
it from me,I have been in his level before I know what I am taking about"

I looked at Ntando...
Ndaphakama and went back to the study,locked myself inside and took a deep breath

Me:"we've been through this before,I told you I can't leave him"
Him:"you can't or you won't"
Me:"I don't want to,beside him being my fiancé and the father of my children I love him. I really do,
inzima lento undicela yona I don't wanna lie"
Him:"it is for your own good mtanam,and I wouldn't call that thing you have love. Infactuation
maybe,gangstas don't love,they don't fall inlove mtanam,they play with people's feelings and I don't
want that to happen to you"
Me:"if you were able to fall inlove with Gudda's mom then why does it seem impossible for him to
fall inlove with me"?
Him:"it was never easy angakuxelela naye,do you wanna go through everything she went through? I
wouldn't want my own child going through what I put her through"

I just kept quiet,he continued talking and talking until Ntando knocked

Me:"I have to go"

Him:"just think about what I'm saying,you have a bright future ahead of you don't jinx it"
Me:"kay"

I got up,opened the door wangena u Ntando ndaphuma mna,I went straight to our room and he
followed

Him:"S'bongile"?
I closed the curtains
Him:"S'bongile khandihoye"
I took a doek and tied my hair
Him:"Nalique please"
I removed my slippers and got in bed,he sat next to me
Him:"baby mahn,are you going to punish me ngale silent treatment"?

I plugged headsets and listened to music until I fell asleep,I am not very sure if he slept but ndivuke
ekseni ehleli I prepared for work and went to check on Fatima her cottage was locked ndabuyela
endlini and called her
Her:"hello madam"
She sounded asleep
Me:"hi cc there are a few things I'd like you to do for me,uphi"?
Her:"heee, utatakhe wamawele said I should visit my family. Didn't he tell you"?
Me:"so you mean you're in Joburg right now"?
Her:"ewe sisi,I'm sorry I thought you knew"
Me:"don't worry about it,uthe uzobuya nini kengok"?
Her:"after two or three weeks,uthe uzand'founela"
Me:"okay ke sisi,enjoy"
Her:"enkosi"

I hung up,I was fuming but I contained myself. I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction. I took a
stickie pad and wrote down all the things Fatima was going to do for me,left my bank card on the
table,Fatima knows my pin but Ntando doesn't so uyozibona ba uzoytholaphi or he'll call her I don't
know and left for work. After work I headed to the library just for an hour of peaceful working,went
to Spur and bought myself ribs,fried onion rings,extra large fries and greek salad then headed home
ndafika kungekho mntu.

I freshened up and sat on my bed ndatya,he sent Fatima home? Then he can do her duties. When I
was done ndangqengqa and called Gudda

Him:"Trina"
Me:"uth' utatakho use hosy"
Him:"sendizophuma"
Me:"what happened"?
Him:"I'd rather not talk about it"
Me:"mmh,sharp ke ndoda"
Him:"thank you for calling though"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up.
I heard a car pull up in the driveway ndaz'lalisa :p they were talking and laughing ungena kwabo
until they came to the bedroom band'khwaza -_- as he put them on the bed Uve pulled the cover
and kissed my nose,I opened my eyes and smiled at him he pulled his brother naye wazophuza
umamakhe

Uba:"mamam"
Me:"phuz'mamakho"

They both kissed me at the same time,band'ncokolela lonto ingavakaliyo I had to sit up coz they both
were pulling to have a piece of me. Their dad had went showering so that gave me a moment to
enjoy whatever they were telling me... He came out and lotioned his body infront of us but we didn't
pay any attention we just laughed at our silly conversations until he spoke up

Him:"we ate out and brought your own,its downstairs"

Me:"batye nton abantwana out"?
Him:"batye childfriendly food cummon"

I didn't believe this,I felt their stomach,zipatyupatyu kodwa kuthwa bahluthi? Heh!

Me:"these kids are hungry nje Ntando"

Him:"but bebetyile nje baby"
Me:"mxm"

I got out of the bed and went to make them porridge,he followed and stood at the entrance

Him:"you know it could help us both if you could just say whatever it is you're saying inside"
Me:"so you actually left the kids alone be phez'kwebhedi"?
Him:"abazokuwa"
Me:"u sure"?
Him:"ndcela uthethe,express the feelings you have bottled up"
Me:"uyi psychologist mvanje? Khand'yeke mfethu"

I took the bowl and went to feed my kids,lendoda followed behind me. Oko ethetha ngok ndityisa
abantwana ndade ndabalalisa kwi cot and went back to bed

Him:"how long are you going to ignore me"?

Me:"for as long as I want"
Him:"don't you think that's a bit pathetic"?
Me:"what's really pathetic is you Ntando,I guess I have to learn not to catch feelings kule
relationship"
Him:"what are you talking about"?
Me:"you either suck at playing dumb or you're just plain dumb"
Him:"uthini S'bongile"?
Me:"you strangled me remember"?
Him:"almost"
Me:"you're not gonna deny it? Heee you have some nerve,gqiba kwakho wand'phoxa ndamanzi
ndine worry ngawe and then you come here months later expecting me to jump up and down?
Aw'guli perhaps"?
Him:"okay,I am sorry"
Me:"now that's good. Be sorry,ube rongo,uright kengok ube sorry mntanomtu"
Him:"now you're being sarcastic,I really am sorry"
Me:"I heard you the first time,its such a pity I had to tell you urongo. Umdala unje you don't know
when you're wrong but then again you are the boss. Good night"
Him:"sisathetha nje babe"
Me:"difference between me and you is that you are on vacation,I have work tomorrow"

Wathula and got in bed,I slept on my side of the bed until the morning ndavuka engokho aphe
bhedini but I could hear there was someone in the bathroom. I walked in there wancuma,he had run
me a bath so the minute I walked in he took my hand and led me to the bath ndangena,ndse dom ba
kwenzeka ntoni he left me there.
By the time I came out,my clothes were on the bed ironed,I smelt bacon ndancuma secretly. Now
this was his own way of apologizing and at this rate I wasn't gonna stop him,I might as well just enjoy
it so I took out my not so dirty clothes which made a gruesome pile. After getting dressed I took my
bags,walked down the stairs and found him in boxers and an apron

Him:"hey,goodmorning"
Me:"hey,ndcela uxelele u sis Fats andvasele ezampahla ndiz'khethile zisecaleni"
Him:"about that.... I sent her home,just for a week or two ahlale ne family yakhe"
Me:"ooh,but you never told me.. so who will do her chores kengok"?
Him:"I can do a few,but not everything baby"
Me:"okay,but enye i everything izokwenziwa nguban baby coz mna andikho the whole week and
some errands can't wait for the weekend"
He gave me breakfast I sat down ndatya

Him:"sizobona as time goes mamakhe"

Me:"thank you for breakfast"
Him:"my pleasure. Am I forgiven now"?
Me:"I don't know"

I ate finish ndathatha zinto zam and headed for the door

Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"hm"?
Me:"ogqiba kwakho whatever you will be doing pls defrost the beef in the bottom drawer,along with
the mixed veg"
Him:"mh,mmkay"
Me:"akakhalazi ke u sis Fats"
Him:"and'khalazi nam"
Me:"mmmh,see you guys later"
Him:"later"

I left and went to work,even before lunchtime I recieved a dozen of fresh white roses along with
chocolates. S'busiso,my colleague read the card out loud:
"To our Queen
Have a wonderful day
We love you
N"

I was blushing as the entire office oozed at that,I grabbed my flowers and looked for a vase.

330

When I couldn't find the vase I just gave Cindy the flowers but kept my chocolates,work continued as
usual until knock off time,while packing my stuff I received a call from Elizabeth -_- you know
when you have your own life drama going on then you have those people who are just a nuisance in
life...generally. It took a couple more rings before I even attempted to pick up,bt then I decided to
pick up once i got inside my car...

Me:"Liz"
Her:"hey,I have been calling you"
Me:"I know"
Her:"oh,you just practically ignored me this whole time"?
Me:"Elizabeth,why did you call me"?
Her:"why are you being rude"?
Me:"because I don't have time to have a chit chat with you okay? Just say what you wanna say and
leave me the hell alone! Gosh"

I think she was shocked at how my tone came across coz she suddenly fell into some sort of
unbearable silence for a few seconds

Me:"if you don't talk,I'm hanging up okay"

Her:"pls don't"
Me:"good now talk,what's up"?

I was now approaching my house...

Her:"I need your help.I know I haven't been the best sister in-law but I really need your help. I caught
Marcus cheating on me,countless times I confronted him but he is not backing down even now"
Me:"we get cheated on everyday Liz,what's new now"?
Her:"that still doesn't make it right though"
Me:"I know but truth remains,we date gangstas who probably have girlfriends all over this
continent."
Her:"you know I thought Eve was the bitter one,I honestly thought you would understand since we
are in the same lane in this love game"
Me:"I still don't know why you called me,Marcus is my older brother and I don't get involved in his
love life"
Her:"you've changed you know"
Me:"its called growth Elizabeth some of us go through it incase you skipped it,not that it matters
kuwe coz you just need acceptance"
Her:"acceptance? To what"?
Me:"either you accept your livelihood or change it,I don't know how but that's up to you"
She must have been thinking about this coz she was silent,ndabe send'fika nasendlini

Her:"maybe you're right"

Me:"I know I am right but I have to go"
Her:"okay,thank you for listening"
Me:"sharp"
I hung up,turned off the ignition and lay my head on the headrest of my chair and breathed.
Yho,such drama though? Like,I have my dislikes towards her. Infact we have our differences but still
ukhetha uxelela mna bekhona oKeri who are perfect and who have a perfect relationship and
perfect life as a whole. Though I didn't wanna give Liz ammunition,I knew her pain very well coz I've
been there but I don't go around telling people ingxaki zam I'd rather die in silence coz once you tell
umntu your problems ujikela behind your back and laugh at you. As I sat there I closed my eyes caba
ndiye ndalala... I was woken up by Ntando banging on my windows,I rolled one window down
ndamjonga and I was sure my eyes were red coz it had been a while

Me:"uzokwephula festile zam fondin"

Him:"ulaleleni wena emotweni"
Me:"I'm not sleeping babe I'm just thinking"
Him:"khaw'phume emotweni babe man"

I was kinda confused at his reaction but ndaphuma,locked my car and gave him my laptop bag
ndaphatha i purse yam we followed each other inside. I didn't even shower I just undressed and got
under the covers ndazi gquma,he came in and opened a small gap kwezi ngubo wand'kroba

Him:"ntwana yam"
Me:"hm.mh hm.mh"
Him:"u grand"?
Me:"ndi grand I just need a nap"
Him:"oh-kay"

He left me and went downstairs,I drank two tablets and fell into a deep peaceful sleep. About three
or four hours later into the night I heard my phone ascending in vibration and when it started to ring
it sounded like it was far away,that took me further into my sleep until I snapped and realized that
my phone was really ringing...

Me:"mh"?
Her:"chomi"
Me:"Amanda"
Her:"Trina,chomi they... Oh my God! I need your help. They...u X... Yho...I'm in deep shit"
I sat up,rubbed my eyes and yawned... That moment I realized Bae hadn't been in bed.

Me:"Amanda,you are not making sense okay"

She started sobbing... Terribly
Me:"andikuva ke ngok"

I waited for her to cry finish then wathetha

Her:"u X...they...they shot X,aphendlini. Yho and'soyiki"

Me:"yho,was he in a fight? And who's they"?
Her:"he wasn't in a fight oko ebehleli nathi aphendlini,I don't know who the guys were I only saw
shadows when they were running away"
Me:"wait,you were there when he got shot but you didn't call for help? Nor did you get to see their
faces"?
Her:"they must have used a silencer or something coz akhange ndibave tu"
Me:"i hope you called the police,his friends and or family"
Waphinda wakhala -_- I had to wait again,and I was getting hungry by the minute
Her:"I called Ocean,he said I shouldn't involve the police... I just don't know what to do now"
Me:"oh,then take him to the hospital kaloku"
Her:"you don't get it do you? He is dead! Trina,my boyfriend was shot dead,he's corpse is still here in
our apartment"!
Me:"tchini Amanda,I am no freaken mortician fondini how the hell am I supposed to help you worse
ndise Bhayi mna"
Her:"I don't know..."
Me:"nontombi,either you call abantu bakokwabo or you sleep in the same house with a dead body.
Akhonto ndizokunceda ngayo mna"
Her:"okay..."
Me:"I'll call you again ksasa"
Her:"okay chomi"

Tshini!
I got out of bed and went to look for my King,found him snoring in the couch the TV still on
Supersport. I left him and went to look for food,ndatyela e kitchen then I went to wake him up,he
blinked a few times then got up and made space so I could sit down.

Him:"utyile"?
Me:"yeah,why ulelapha"?
Him:"bend'ngalelanga I was just resting my eyes"

He got up,went to the kitchen and came back with the icecream tub and two spoons wandinika mine
and took his.

Him:"uyaphangela ngomso"?
Me:"and'phangeli nge weekend"
Him:"can we go to Jo'burg"?
Me:"entweni"?
Him:"just to unwind,we need a break,you need a breather"
Me:"if you want a break then hamba,si grand thina apha"
Him:"baby pls don't be like this,I'm trying here"
Me:"kuzothini when you get tired of trying? What then"?
Him:"can you pls be open minded about this? I know I will always make mistakes,act out of anger
and maybe hurt you in some way but okwangoku ndiyaphinda ndiyaxolisa,I was angry okay. I was
betrayed by the people I trusted with my life and to top it all I never suspected anything,I felt weak
especially in my own field"

Ndatya i icecream lena...

Him:"when you showed me those documents,I was angry that I have changed you without noticing
it. You were never like this,I was angry with myself. I still am."
Me:"anditshintshwanga nguwe mna"
Him:"baby you grew up well,yonke lento uyenze ngoske udibane nam. And I am sorry"
Me:"like I said,if you want a break you can go breath in Jo'burg mna nabantwana bam si right apha"
Him:"mmh"

Satya i icecream in silence.

Me:"X was shot dead in his flat a few hours ago"

Whathula...
Me:"but I guess you already knew that"

He just continued eating the icecream...

Me:"you could have atleast considered his son you know"

Him:"so you're actually insinuating that I killed him"
Me:"cummon,it wouldn't be farfetched"
Him:"so you think I actually flew with my kids to Cape Town,killed X and flew back ndazo zilalisa kule
couch"
Me:"did you"?
Him:"you give me too much credit baby but that's a good thing,shows how much you believe in me"
Me:"you know this is not about you right? Its about umtana ka X ongazoba natata all of a sudden"
Him:"I have three sons and a daughter,andiyaz ke ba ndingena phi kule theory yakho"
Me:"look me in the eye and tell me you had nothing to do with this"
He looked at me,straight in the eyeballs

Him:"I had nothing to do with X's death"

I breathed...

Him:"do you believe me now"

Me:"I don't know if I should,but yes. For now"
Him:"hm"

Waphakama and went upstairs,I took the icecream tub and put it back into the freezer then I went
upstairs and got in bed waiting for him to come out of the shower...he came out and came to bed

Me:"I'm sorry I didn't believe you"

Him:"water under the bridge"
Me:"I was gonna take the kids out ngomso since I haven't been spending much time with
then,singahamba sonke if you're keen"
Him:"you really don't wanna go to Jo'burg"?
Me:"ha.ana. We have everything we need here"
Him:"okay,I'll go with yall on one condition"
Me:"you have no ground for conditions,don't push it"
Him:"yes ma'am"

We got in bed and fell into deep personal thoughts. You know I wanted to ask him more about this X
thing coz I knew deep down that he had a hand in this,but I couldn't put more strain to my
relationship than we already have. But why did I feel guilty then? Maybe its because I am the one
who snitched on them... I could have been the reason why Axolile doesn't have a dad,Amanda
doesn't have a boyfriend but here I am wanting to kiss,cuddle and make love to the same man who
could have killed X.
I recieved a call from a private number,I learnt a long time ago not to answer private calls so I looked
at Ntando ndamnika iphone,he pressed the answering button,put the phone on loud speaker
wayijongisa kum

Me:"hello"
Her:"am I talking to Trina"?
Me:"yes"
Her:"how do you sleep at night?"
Me:"excuse me"
Her:"you have no shame nala ndoda yakho yebhongo nizenza ipower couple yobubhanxa,I don't give
a fuck whether he's a ganglord or gangsta I don't care. Thina we have to suffer,play hide and seek all
the time coz soyika ukufa while you rest on your man every night! Jonga ke nono,mna andingo
Amanda I will not watch my man die gqiba ndithule. I've been through alot with Ocean and I will not
watch him live life like a chicken"
Me:"I still don't understand why you're telling me all of this"
Her:"I want you to tell that animal you call a boyfriend that if he dare goes after my man,I will have
the entire Western Cape rip him into pieces"
I looked at Ntando...

Him:"uviwe ndim"
Her:"ooh crap,ta Beast"?
Me:"well message delivered I guess,thank you for calling"

I hung up my phone... Ntando just closed his eyes and exhaled. I put my phone away and looked at
the ceiling,deep down again I knew if Ocean is still alive this present moment then ksasa sizovuka
kuthethwa enyinto. Ntando is one man who doesn't take instruction worse kengok this unfriendly
and very unwelcome instruction came with insults that he heard straight on,undiluted insults. Part of
me felt sorry for her but part of me felt more scared than sorry coz I have had a glimpse of the Beast
and I didn't like it. The chill he was on right now was sending chills up my spine.

#331

I had to drink my anxiety pills to go to sleep,I was so darn freaked out yilento yonke good thing I
wasn't going to work the following day.

In the morning I woke up to find myself alone in the room,I made the bed,opened windows then
went downstairs but there was no one in the house and that made me panic,I ran back upstairs to
fetch my phone then called him...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"niphi na"?
Him:"sise back,phuma"

The relief.
I hung up and went back downstairs,out the back door ndababona at the far end of the backyard
bedlala ibhola. When my kids saw me they started running towards me leaving their dad with the
ball,I knelt down and hugged them for dear life then we walked over to where their dad was sahlala
phantsi he joined wand'jonga

Him:"uphakuphaku"
Me:"do you blame me"
Him:"I told you I had nothing to do with it nje baby"
Me:"I want to believe you too,if only I hadn't given you that info"
Him:"don't stress yourself over nothing okay,I haven't used that info and I'm not planning to use it
anytime soon"
Me:"so what happened to Gudda? was that a coincidence"?
Him:"no baby,that one was an unfortunate accident,I think the police are still investigating that"

What was the use of arguing with him? He had every answer to every question I threw his way,when
he saw that I had stopped interrogating him he passed me a fruit bowl,yoghurt and spoon
ndazgalelela ndatya. My heart along with one half of my head didn't wanna believe that this man,my
man,was and is a vulture but half of my head gave me warning bells...who ever listened to their
heads though? Especially when the heart wants what it wants. I ate a few spoons of this healthy
breakfast while thinking over these things...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"hm"
Him:"ucingaphi"?
Me:"more like nd'cinga ntoni"
Him:"ucinga ntoni ke ke"

His sons were playing not very far away from us,I made a move on him,kissed his lips and looked at
his eyes
Him:"oh-kay"

We resumed back to the kissing...just a little more intimate than the first attempt

Me:"I know how odd this will sound but,I can't seem to picture my life without you"
Him:"I am not going anywhere,I know someday you will dump me but you must know ndizokuthi nca
okwekhalane enkomeni"
Me:"that's not a very nice picture you're painting"
Him:"its called reality"

He kissed me before I could utter another word,I held my breath. His hands,I mean his strong
masculine hands moved across my back as I sat on one of his laps and kissed him back. At the back of
my head I replayed what that chick said last night,that they live playing hide and seek while I rest on
my man every night...pity none of that was true. Ntando has been here for close to three months if
I'm not mistaken but I haven't for one night rested my head on his chest. We have been living in
tension eversince he came here,reasonable tension futhi,that shows ba there's no perfect
relationship whatsoever but the upside was that he had been bonding with his sons more, he made
up for the time he had been away and he always does that,he makes sure he gives his kids enough
time with their dad even Sino and Owe know that very well.
I pulled away from the kiss,he bit the corner of my bottom lip his eyes half-open

Me:"don't get over excited now"

Him:"Ndiyak'thanda fondin nd'zothini ungabi excited"

I felt butterflies in my belly...

Me:"do you know how real that sounds when you say it in your mother tongue"
Him:"it should sound not only sound real but feel real too"

I kissed him again then sat infront of him,between his legs the crown of my head right under his
chin. His arms embraced me as we sat and watched our sons playing together...the sea breeze
blowing my hair

Me:"buzoyothini e Jo'burg"?
Him:"I just wanted to take you out"
Me:"mmmh,we can still go out nalapha its been a while since my kids went to watch movies"
Him:"they look like they're enjoying themselves right here"
Me:"they're comfortable baby,they need to get out and meet other children of their age"
Him:"masambeni ke"
We got up,he took both of them and headed inside. I took them ndabavasa,he followed right after
them and bathed while I dressed them when he was done ndamshiya nabo ndayovasa. We got
dressed in almost similar clothing...the kids wore navy chino shorts,v-neck short sleeved t-
shirts,denim waistcoats and those Jordan sneakers uncle Soso bought. He wore Chino pants,same t-
shirt and sneakers then I wore white skinny jeans with matching vest,navy Roche kicks and a NY navy
cap. We headed out him driving my car coz he didn't have any form of vehicle here,not that he
needed one though. We went to watch movies first,then he suggested we go to Bocadillos Bakery
and Café in Walmer for treats before I could protest we were already at their parking lot. We got out
and walked inside,welcomed with not only by the sweet smell but by the beauty and elegance of this
place. It seemed childfriendly enough,we ordered lunch and asked the waitress to pack a takeaway
dessert for the two of us sancokola while having the lunch

Him:"I've been thinking..."

Me"bout"?
Him:"leway ye lobola,and umakhulu is asking questions"
Me:"you mean she's putting pressure on you"
Him:"in a way yes"
Me:"well you could arrange with my dad,I'm not sure if he'll listen to you though coz they still want
you away from me"
Him:"its worth a try,if abavumi uzothini u option two"?
Me:"I don't think we should think about option two before even attempting on option one"
Him:"maybe Polo and Luke could be our fall back"
Me:"babe,khaw'qale uzame uta Bongs. Change his mind about you,convince him, make him see the
man I love"
Him:"okay. I'll send a letter ndihambe noo malume ke next week"
Me:"so quick"?
Him:"haibo mamakhe we've been waiting,its not that quick"
Me:"yeah well...pity Soso can't have a say in this particular situation"
Him:"yeah,but lemme try my luck though we both know utatakho hates my guts"
Me:"with reason,I guess"

We continued eating...
I knew my last response hurt him but I was just being honest,not that I agree with them but I know
they do have reason to hate him because they are selfish. After eating I fed both my sons,he settled
the bill then we headed home.

After three weeks Fatima returned coz Ntando had left a week before,right after he had sent his
uncle to deliver the letter. He had to be in East London for the negotiations akhe adlane iindlebe
nabantu abakhulu bakokwabo. I continued with my normal life,Amanda didn't tell me
nangomngcwabo ka X but I didn't really care coz I wasn't gonna attend anyway. Time passed and
Ntando wasn't filling me in on anything so I figured everything was going smoothly on the other
side... A week into the next month I recieved a call from Soso :D

Me:"Lwandi"
Him:"and'funi noteketiswa nguwe mna"
Me:"and'sakukhumbuli bhey'bhi"
Him:"uqhele ubaqhatha,mxm, how are you? Unqabile"
Me:"I'm surviving mtase,just busy with work. You"?
Him:"I'm great,graduated and got an internship for next year in Portugal"
Me:"Portu- wha-? You're pulling my leg right"?
Him:"haha! I'm afraid not,thats what you get for being a top student"
Me:"yho,uzond'shiya ndedwa apha kengok mna"
Him:"ukhona u ta Beast nje mtase futhi he has a private jet so if I get a full time job you can always
visit"
Me:"yho shame u Lindo yinto azoyithini le"
Him:"she says she understands,if ebegqibile naye ufunda ebezohamba but ke"
Me:"yho ndizoba lonely mtase"
Him:"you can always call nje mtase,and for now,ndingeza kwakho for a week"
Me:"really"?
Him:"yeah,just verify with your man then I'll be there"
Me:"akekho and there's no need to verify with him uza kum apha"
Him:"phantsi kwala meko yoba siyazi injan indodakho mtase,I don't want no nasty surprises"
Me:"but why do you have to make him out to be a bad person"?
Him:"he's bad duh,gangstas are bad incase you forgot but, that's not what I meant"
Me:"start packing ke,I will call him"
Him:"sure lovie"

We hung up I called Ntando...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"mntu wakhe,unjan"
Him:"surviving,ninjan nina"
Me:"si right,babe uSoso ucela uzo spender a week with us before he goes to Portugal"
Him:"why does he have to ask my permission to visit you"?
Me:"lento bendimbuza yona nam"
Him:"heh"
Me:"skipping that one,how's everything going? Are you still in East London"?
Him:"yeah ndselapha your dad is giving me a hard time,but my uncles are as stubborn as he is so
ndiyekele kubo nam"
Me:"nyamezela I guess"
Him:"a man's gotta do what he gotta do,bendiyaz nam akuzoba easy convincing him"
Me:"so who's taking care of business"?
Him:"Polo went to Niger on my behalf last week and Ranger is holding the fort in the Cape my other
guys are reporting everything so akukabikho nto ifuna mna"
Me:"okay fill me in with the proceedings"
Him:"ayt"
Me:"I love you,we love you"
Him:"I love you more"
Me:"bye"

We hung up
The following week Lwandiso called to say I should go pick him up,I had to leave on tea time and he
wanted to go see my workplace I knew immediately that as'phindi senzento pha coz uzophazamisa
abantwana babantu. On our way there he asked me to drive to the florist,he bought pinkish lillies
then sahamba

Me:"I don't recall you having friends here,uzaz'thini ezi flowers"?

Him:"you'll see,so tell me,who among your colleagues is more welcoming to handsome nikkas like
me"?
Me:"you'll see"

He told me about the Portugal internship all the way safika and he got out first wangena k'qala,as I
walked closer to the entrance I could hear a blast of laughter I smiled to myself knowingly. I walked
in and found even the MD was in stitches with Soso being the center of attention,Cindy had the
lillies in her hands and she was blushing uncontrollably I laughed my way to my desk...abazi kwa
Soso aba. I pushed myself to work till lunchtime through that noise

Me:"ntwana,masambe"
Him:"siyaphi chap"?
Me:"its lunch time"
Him:"ooh,do you mind going alone? Cindy and her friends over there have already offered to take
me out"
Me:"oh,okay. No akho problem as long as you know they are much older than you"
Him:"bheyibhi,indoda indala no matter the age"

I gave up ndamshiya,I craved a McDonalds chicken wrap. I took a walk over there,made my order
and called Luu. I missed him:

Him:"heeey you"
Me:"you're still crazy"
Him:"you're still serious"
Me:"how are you Lulu"
He blurted with laughter :)

Him:"I'm great,I'm gonna be a daddy"

If I wasn't eating out I swear I would have screamed

Me:"congratulations big boy, have you checked the gender yet? How far is Sive"?
Him:"we wanna be surprised so we are not checking anything"
Me:"I'm gonna be an aunt again? Wow,congrats guys"
Him:"thank you sis,what's going on in your life"?
Me:"erh...does drama describe anything to you"?
Him:"you and Evelyn always have some sort of drama in your lives though"
Me:"haha! I know hey,well Ntando is currently trying to negotiate for my lobola"
Him:"that's a good thing, finally a wedding to look forward to"
Me:"but my newly found dad hates Ntando's guts and I hear he's giving him a hard time"
Him:"its good for a man to work hard,even suffer for what he wants so that when he finally gets it he
will treasure it and take good care of it"
Me:"I guess that makes sense"
Him:"don't worry everything will work itself out"
Me:"thanks hey"
Him:"anytime"

We hung up ndatya i lunch yam,got a call from Landile

Me:"Lelele"
Wavela waphela yintsini

Him:"don't tell me you still remember that name"

Me:"I still remember everything"
#331

I had to drink my anxiety pills to go to sleep,I was so darn freaked out yilento yonke good thing I
wasn't going to work the following day.

In the morning I woke up to find myself alone in the room,I made the bed,opened windows then
went downstairs but there was no one in the house and that made me panic,I ran back upstairs to
fetch my phone then called him...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"niphi na"?
Him:"sise back,phuma"

The relief.
I hung up and went back downstairs,out the back door ndababona at the far end of the backyard
bedlala ibhola. When my kids saw me they started running towards me leaving their dad with the
ball,I knelt down and hugged them for dear life then we walked over to where their dad was sahlala
phantsi he joined wand'jonga

Him:"uphakuphaku"
Me:"do you blame me"
Him:"I told you I had nothing to do with it nje baby"
Me:"I want to believe you too,if only I hadn't given you that info"
Him:"don't stress yourself over nothing okay,I haven't used that info and I'm not planning to use it
anytime soon"
Me:"so what happened to Gudda? was that a coincidence"?
Him:"no baby,that one was an unfortunate accident,I think the police are still investigating that"

What was the use of arguing with him? He had every answer to every question I threw his way,when
he saw that I had stopped interrogating him he passed me a fruit bowl,yoghurt and spoon
ndazgalelela ndatya. My heart along with one half of my head didn't wanna believe that this man,my
man,was and is a vulture but half of my head gave me warning bells...who ever listened to their
heads though? Especially when the heart wants what it wants. I ate a few spoons of this healthy
breakfast while thinking over these things...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"hm"
Him:"ucingaphi"?
Me:"more like nd'cinga ntoni"
Him:"ucinga ntoni ke ke"

His sons were playing not very far away from us,I made a move on him,kissed his lips and looked at
his eyes
Him:"oh-kay"

We resumed back to the kissing...just a little more intimate than the first attempt

Me:"I know how odd this will sound but,I can't seem to picture my life without you"
Him:"I am not going anywhere,I know someday you will dump me but you must know ndizokuthi nca
okwekhalane enkomeni"
Me:"that's not a very nice picture you're painting"
Him:"its called reality"
He kissed me before I could utter another word,I held my breath. His hands,I mean his strong
masculine hands moved across my back as I sat on one of his laps and kissed him back. At the back of
my head I replayed what that chick said last night,that they live playing hide and seek while I rest on
my man every night...pity none of that was true. Ntando has been here for close to three months if
I'm not mistaken but I haven't for one night rested my head on his chest. We have been living in
tension eversince he came here,reasonable tension futhi,that shows ba there's no perfect
relationship whatsoever but the upside was that he had been bonding with his sons more, he made
up for the time he had been away and he always does that,he makes sure he gives his kids enough
time with their dad even Sino and Owe know that very well.
I pulled away from the kiss,he bit the corner of my bottom lip his eyes half-open

Me:"don't get over excited now"

Him:"Ndiyak'thanda fondin nd'zothini ungabi excited"

I felt butterflies in my belly...

Me:"do you know how real that sounds when you say it in your mother tongue"
Him:"it should sound not only sound real but feel real too"

I kissed him again then sat infront of him,between his legs the crown of my head right under his
chin. His arms embraced me as we sat and watched our sons playing together...the sea breeze
blowing my hair

Me:"buzoyothini e Jo'burg"?
Him:"I just wanted to take you out"
Me:"mmmh,we can still go out nalapha its been a while since my kids went to watch movies"
Him:"they look like they're enjoying themselves right here"
Me:"they're comfortable baby,they need to get out and meet other children of their age"
Him:"masambeni ke"

We got up,he took both of them and headed inside. I took them ndabavasa,he followed right after
them and bathed while I dressed them when he was done ndamshiya nabo ndayovasa. We got
dressed in almost similar clothing...the kids wore navy chino shorts,v-neck short sleeved t-
shirts,denim waistcoats and those Jordan sneakers uncle Soso bought. He wore Chino pants,same t-
shirt and sneakers then I wore white skinny jeans with matching vest,navy Roche kicks and a NY navy
cap. We headed out him driving my car coz he didn't have any form of vehicle here,not that he
needed one though. We went to watch movies first,then he suggested we go to Bocadillos Bakery
and Café in Walmer for treats before I could protest we were already at their parking lot. We got out
and walked inside,welcomed with not only by the sweet smell but by the beauty and elegance of this
place. It seemed childfriendly enough,we ordered lunch and asked the waitress to pack a takeaway
dessert for the two of us sancokola while having the lunch

Him:"I've been thinking..."

Me"bout"?
Him:"leway ye lobola,and umakhulu is asking questions"
Me:"you mean she's putting pressure on you"
Him:"in a way yes"
Me:"well you could arrange with my dad,I'm not sure if he'll listen to you though coz they still want
you away from me"
Him:"its worth a try,if abavumi uzothini u option two"?
Me:"I don't think we should think about option two before even attempting on option one"
Him:"maybe Polo and Luke could be our fall back"
Me:"babe,khaw'qale uzame uta Bongs. Change his mind about you,convince him, make him see the
man I love"
Him:"okay. I'll send a letter ndihambe noo malume ke next week"
Me:"so quick"?
Him:"haibo mamakhe we've been waiting,its not that quick"
Me:"yeah well...pity Soso can't have a say in this particular situation"
Him:"yeah,but lemme try my luck though we both know utatakho hates my guts"
Me:"with reason,I guess"

We continued eating...
I knew my last response hurt him but I was just being honest,not that I agree with them but I know
they do have reason to hate him because they are selfish. After eating I fed both my sons,he settled
the bill then we headed home.

After three weeks Fatima returned coz Ntando had left a week before,right after he had sent his
uncle to deliver the letter. He had to be in East London for the negotiations akhe adlane iindlebe
nabantu abakhulu bakokwabo. I continued with my normal life,Amanda didn't tell me
nangomngcwabo ka X but I didn't really care coz I wasn't gonna attend anyway. Time passed and
Ntando wasn't filling me in on anything so I figured everything was going smoothly on the other
side... A week into the next month I recieved a call from Soso :D

Me:"Lwandi"
Him:"and'funi noteketiswa nguwe mna"
Me:"and'sakukhumbuli bhey'bhi"
Him:"uqhele ubaqhatha,mxm, how are you? Unqabile"
Me:"I'm surviving mtase,just busy with work. You"?
Him:"I'm great,graduated and got an internship for next year in Portugal"
Me:"Portu- wha-? You're pulling my leg right"?
Him:"haha! I'm afraid not,thats what you get for being a top student"
Me:"yho,uzond'shiya ndedwa apha kengok mna"
Him:"ukhona u ta Beast nje mtase futhi he has a private jet so if I get a full time job you can always
visit"
Me:"yho shame u Lindo yinto azoyithini le"
Him:"she says she understands,if ebegqibile naye ufunda ebezohamba but ke"
Me:"yho ndizoba lonely mtase"
Him:"you can always call nje mtase,and for now,ndingeza kwakho for a week"
Me:"really"?
Him:"yeah,just verify with your man then I'll be there"
Me:"akekho and there's no need to verify with him uza kum apha"
Him:"phantsi kwala meko yoba siyazi injan indodakho mtase,I don't want no nasty surprises"
Me:"but why do you have to make him out to be a bad person"?
Him:"he's bad duh,gangstas are bad incase you forgot but, that's not what I meant"
Me:"start packing ke,I will call him"
Him:"sure lovie"

We hung up I called Ntando...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"mntu wakhe,unjan"
Him:"surviving,ninjan nina"
Me:"si right,babe uSoso ucela uzo spender a week with us before he goes to Portugal"
Him:"why does he have to ask my permission to visit you"?
Me:"lento bendimbuza yona nam"
Him:"heh"
Me:"skipping that one,how's everything going? Are you still in East London"?
Him:"yeah ndselapha your dad is giving me a hard time,but my uncles are as stubborn as he is so
ndiyekele kubo nam"
Me:"nyamezela I guess"
Him:"a man's gotta do what he gotta do,bendiyaz nam akuzoba easy convincing him"
Me:"so who's taking care of business"?
Him:"Polo went to Niger on my behalf last week and Ranger is holding the fort in the Cape my other
guys are reporting everything so akukabikho nto ifuna mna"
Me:"okay fill me in with the proceedings"
Him:"ayt"
Me:"I love you,we love you"
Him:"I love you more"
Me:"bye"

We hung up
The following week Lwandiso called to say I should go pick him up,I had to leave on tea time and he
wanted to go see my workplace I knew immediately that as'phindi senzento pha coz uzophazamisa
abantwana babantu. On our way there he asked me to drive to the florist,he bought pinkish lillies
then sahamba

Me:"I don't recall you having friends here,uzaz'thini ezi flowers"?

Him:"you'll see,so tell me,who among your colleagues is more welcoming to handsome nikkas like
me"?
Me:"you'll see"

He told me about the Portugal internship all the way safika and he got out first wangena k'qala,as I
walked closer to the entrance I could hear a blast of laughter I smiled to myself knowingly. I walked
in and found even the MD was in stitches with Soso being the center of attention,Cindy had the
lillies in her hands and she was blushing uncontrollably I laughed my way to my desk...abazi kwa
Soso aba. I pushed myself to work till lunchtime through that noise

Me:"ntwana,masambe"
Him:"siyaphi chap"?
Me:"its lunch time"
Him:"ooh,do you mind going alone? Cindy and her friends over there have already offered to take
me out"
Me:"oh,okay. No akho problem as long as you know they are much older than you"
Him:"bheyibhi,indoda indala no matter the age"

I gave up ndamshiya,I craved a McDonalds chicken wrap. I took a walk over there,made my order
and called Luu. I missed him:

Him:"heeey you"
Me:"you're still crazy"
Him:"you're still serious"
Me:"how are you Lulu"
He blurted with laughter :)

Him:"I'm great,I'm gonna be a daddy"

If I wasn't eating out I swear I would have screamed

Me:"congratulations big boy, have you checked the gender yet? How far is Sive"?
Him:"we wanna be surprised so we are not checking anything"
Me:"I'm gonna be an aunt again? Wow,congrats guys"
Him:"thank you sis,what's going on in your life"?
Me:"erh...does drama describe anything to you"?
Him:"you and Evelyn always have some sort of drama in your lives though"
Me:"haha! I know hey,well Ntando is currently trying to negotiate for my lobola"
Him:"that's a good thing, finally a wedding to look forward to"
Me:"but my newly found dad hates Ntando's guts and I hear he's giving him a hard time"
Him:"its good for a man to work hard,even suffer for what he wants so that when he finally gets it he
will treasure it and take good care of it"
Me:"I guess that makes sense"
Him:"don't worry everything will work itself out"
Me:"thanks hey"
Him:"anytime"

We hung up ndatya i lunch yam,got a call from Landile

Me:"Lelele"
Wavela waphela yintsini

Him:"don't tell me you still remember that name"

Me:"I still remember everything"

#332

Him:"our long beach walks"

Me:"our shoppings,with Soso forcing himself in"
Him:"which memory really stuck with you"?
Me:"the day Kamva visited and you were all cagey 'bout it"
Him:"au man,you could've chosen something positive"
Me:"haha,I know but that day stuck lawei. Yho,its pretty much unforgetable"
Him:"you know everyday I regret how I treated you"
Me:"we had good times Landile,don't be so hard on yourself I forgave you k'dala"
Him:"its easy for you to say coz you finally found real love...with a gangsta though. Now that,I still
don't understand how it happened"
Me:"well if you must know,I met him while I was still with you"
Him:"uyaxoka"
Me:"seriously,remember Eve and I went to CT nge holiday ka December? Thats the first time I met
him"
Him:"was it love at first sight"?
Me:"I don't know yaz but I was charmed I don't wanna lie,maybe because I was still with you and my
brother was protecting us against them that's why I never reacted to that charm immediately"
Him:"well he saved us both from one helluva taboo"
Me:"yho Laa mfethu say that again"
Him:"anyway,ndibuzisa ngo Lwandiso I can't get hold of him"
Me:"mxm esos'bhanxa,ulapha"
Him:"why am I not surprised? Yayaz ba umama is on her way here to congratulate him njeng'ba
elapho yena"
Me:"hay wena! Yayaz' ba he took over my workplace? Oko efikile khange kuphinde kubekho mntu
usebenzayo pha"
Him:"lemme guess,you are alone and he's with the office's popular team"
Me:"uyaz' kak'hle"
Him:"uzoqina,when he comes back pls tell him to return my calls"
Me:"alright sharp"
Him:"cheers"

I paid,bought a Cream Soda and walked back to the office,the MD had also just got back from Lunch
but the entire office was empty so I just walked over to my own cubicle and attempted to finish off
my days work before my phone rang -_- I didn't even try to pick up. Nothing positive ever comes
out of Liz's mouth and right now I had a lot of things going on I wasn't about to add my cheating
brother on the list.

I put the phone on silent and got on with my work,Soso and the girls came back he went to chill in
the waiting couch emane encokolisa u Cindy no Lauren until home time. We got into my car and
headed straight home ndamlungisela a room while he played with the boys then I went to prepare
dinner satya sonke and headed to our seperate rooms. I bathed,put my kids to sleep and just rested.

....

Thursday while at work my dad called me...

Me:"hello"?
Him:"hello unjani mtanam"
Me:"ndiphilile unjan wena"
Him:"ndiphilile nam,I am sure you know uNtando ebehamba apha these past few weeks"
Me:"bekungekho ngxaki"?
Him:"ha.a akhongxaki,ebefuna your hand in marriage"
Me:"nyhani? Uyambona ke ba u serious about me"?
Him:"that will never happen"
Me:"what"!?
Him:"I told him where to get off,I told you he doesn't deserve you"
Me:"so wait,you're telling me that you turned Ntando down"?
Him:"ewe tyhini"
Me:"you're kidding me! Umjika on what grounds kengok? Did you even consider my feelings? The
fact that I have children with him"?
Him"umtana akayo ring Sibongile,I thought you knew that"
Me:"which is why he is asking for my hand in marriage,he knows umtana akayo ring"
Him:"into endingasoze ndiyenze kukuthengisa ngomtanam kwi gintsa, hay mntanam andinokwazi"
Me:"but I told you I love him, how could you do this to me? You are deliberately doing this because
of his issues with your son huh"?
Him:"maybe"
Me:"that's dumb,now I have to take a fall for Gudda? Haibo unjani kanti?"
Him:"I am a father protecting my daughter,my family infact and I will do whatever it takes to make
sure ni safe"
Me:"tchin Thixo,nanku mhlola"

I hung up...fuming with rage. I called Ntando it went straight to VM I tried two more times on
different phones but with the same result so I let him be,ndakhe ndamyeka. I couldn't get any work
done that day,I was even the first one to evacuate the office when the clock striked four. The drive
home was the shortest one I've ever had yet I felt like I had taken a walk,fika u Soso epheka no Fats
ndabulisa and went straight upstairs thats when Ntando returned my calls and I had given up on
him :/

Me:"low"
Him:"hey"
Me:"hey"
Him:"u grand"
Me:"I'm okay. You"?
Him:"I'm good. You called earlier"
Me:"yeah"
Him:"everything okay"?
Me:"ewe"
Him:"how are the boys"?
Me:"ba right"
Him:"I'm getting some cold feedings from you,u sure u grand"
Me:"how are the negotiations coming along"?
He sighed...

Him:"not good"
Me:"...meaning"?
Him:"your family didn't make things easy for me,they kept on making crazy absurd demands until
your dad bluntly told my uncles that he will never allow us to get married"
Me:"so that means the negotiations stopped already"?
Him:"ewe"
Me:"okay,what's next now"?
Him:"I don't know,I did everything,gave everything he asked but still he wouldn't budge"
Me:"so you're giving up"?
Him:"u suggesta ba ndithini ke"?

I felt a huge lump building up in my throat...

Me:"and'yaz Ntando"
Him:"then your dad won, akhonto ndingayenza nam coz ndizamile ukumkholisa but..."
Me:"...kay"
Him:"I swear I tried but sothetha obuya kwam"
Me:"uphi"?
Him:"I'm in Congo"
Me:"uzobuya nini"?
Him:"I don't know yet,maybe in the next three weekends"
Me:"kay"
Him:"I love you,okay"
Tears were freely playing jazz on my cheeks,the lump in my throat was getting bigger and bitter... I
couldn't respond immediately,I had to swallow a few times.

Him:"baby"
I just cried more...
Him:"mamakhe,we knew this won't be a walk in the park. Ndcela ungalili,I love you and thats what
matters right now"

Me:"I know"
Him:"utatakho no Gudda are on some crazy shit to break us up,but kuyo yonke lonto ndiyakuthanda
mfethu"
Me:"ndak'thanda nam fondin"
Him:"be safe ke,ndizobuya we'll see what should be the next step"
Me:"kay,ube safe nawe"
Him:"okay sharp"
Me:"sharp"

When he hung up I started crying all over again,Soso walked in he just came to hug me without
asking questions. I cried till I had hiccups waphakama wand'phathela amanzi,I calmed down and
narrated the story to him

Me:"I am convinced that your uncle is out to make my life miserable"

Him:"for a second there I thought ta Beast is dead"

I gave him a death stare!

Him:"xolo mtase,but seriously? Ulilela ungatshatwa ngu ta Beast? Cummon"

Me:"mxm. You wouldn't understand"
Him:"oh I don't understand honey but what I do understand is that you guys love each other,so this
is just a minor hiccup"
Me:"major stumbling block Soso,ayo hiccup lena"
Him:"however you wanna see it babe but ke what really matters is,what's the next step"?
Me:"and'yaz mtchana. Andiyazi nyhani"
Him:"have you tried talking to your brothers? Like all of them"?
Me:"Gudda is gonna take his dad's side obviously,my last hope is the Smith's"
Him:"ndyamaz ke umalume ngoba pigheaded"
Me:"uzand'bona kemnake ba I can be more pigheaded"
Him:"I know kuthwa love can make one do crazy things but,don't go do anything stupid,okay?"
Me:"hm"

I just prepared to go to bed wand'gcwalisela ke before I got in bed ndalala,he took the boys walala
nabo.

......

Lwandiso left,I told myself I won't call Gudda. I won't call anyone qha ndzotshata mna ndifuna nje
utshata. Three weeks after Soso left I started researching wedding planners,I wanted something
elegant and private with just a couple of friends and family and then I asked Sive to witness for me
whilst Ntando said he would ask Ta Ace (hypothetically speaking) ,one of his headers in Durban so I
noted that down. He didn't know I was planning umtshato,I knew ndizomxelela when he returned
okwangoku I had things to do and people to meet. When he finally came back I was already done
with everything,kushota nje i confirmation and payment from him...day one ebuyile passed
ndisazama ucinga indlela yomxelela what I had done. On day three ndaz'ncama ndabuya early from
work just so we could talk....
I first got into comfortable clothes then I joined him in the nursery. The kids were asleep,he was
lying on his back on the fluffy grey mat on the floor. He played with my hair in silence...

Me:"how was your day"?

Him:"we had fun,running around the backyard"
Me:"mmh"

Then there was this awkward silence...

Him:"something is eating you up"

Me:"there's something I wanna tell you"

He kissed me between my eyes,on the nosebridge... I closed my eyes for half-a-moment...

Him:"I know,what is it"?

Me:"okay uhm,after you told me what happened and then with my dad's call I decided to take
matters into my own hands. Qha kengok I don't know whether I did the right thing na"
Him:"wenzeni babe"?
Me:"I kinda organized us a wedding"

I expected an outburst...waske waphola wadlala ngenwele zam :/ i frowned.

Him:"kinda"?
Me:"well okay,I organized us a wedding"
Him:"okay"
I waited... Nothing.

Me:"I'm waiting for you to freak out"

Him:"hay sundenza igeza"
Me:"I'm sorry,now please say something other than okay"
Him:"do you think what you did is good? Or will yield good results in the long run"?
Me:"I don't know...are you suggesting that umtshato wethu might be a mistake"?
Him:"ngalendlela wenzeka ngayo,yes"
Me:"oh,okay"

I was bummed,what happened to being spontanious?

Me:"I guess we're done here"

Him:"we don't have to rush into anything,lets just wait and see how this will turn out"
Me:"as long as you know I won't be engaged to you forever"
Him:"it won't be forever. I promise"

I exhaled...
Now I had to email all these people and cancel,hm. Cancel huh? Hm.

333

Well I didn't wanna cancel,I wasn't gonna cancel tchi. I wanted to get married...
I stood up ndahamba ndayopheka,after about thirty minutes I got a call from Marcus

Me:"hey"
Him:"you sound...defeated. What's up"?
Me:"I'm good,how are you"
Him:"I'm pissed off! What's the issue with your dad"?
Me:"Ntando is the issue"
Him:"why didn't you tell me he's making things difficult for you"?
Me:"Didn't wanna bother you, but Luu knows. Thought he'd tell you"
Him:"you know Luke will chill on it till the second coming of Jesus"
Me:"so who told you"?
Him:"your man"
Me:"oh-kay...so what happens now"?
Him:"let me see what I can do,I promise you,you will get married with or without that scumbag"
Me:"you don't think I'm acting desperate"?
Him:"aw Trina,no"
Me:"how much is Ntando actually paying you for this"?
Him:"I am doing this for you,you are my lil sis and I want to see you happy"
Me:"thank you boet"
Him:"ayt,I'll call you tomorrow for an update"
Me:"sharp"

A smile crept across my face,I knew Marc always keeps a promise and he always delivers so I had
faith in him. I cooked,dished up and served them ndatya in silence he kept on eyeing me,when I was
done I went straight to bed ndayolala but I didn't sleep as yet coz Anelisa gave me a surprise call.

Me:"hello"
Her:"hey,unjani"?
Me:"I'm great,you"
Her:"I'm good,I was wondering if ungand'thethela no Ntando andboleke u Sino for the upcoming
holz"
Me:"oh okay"
Her:"thank you Trina"
Me:"I'm not promising anything but ndizozama"
Her:"enkosi sisi"
Me:"sharp"

We hung up,I covered my head ndaphinda ndazama ulala. I heard him come up,showered,and came
to bed. He knew I wasn't really asleep,I felt him pulling me close then I felt him breathing softly right
infront of my nose and eyes. It felt like he wasn't fazed by all this drama going on,made me kinda sad
that I am the one who seems to want this more. For us.

Him:"babe"

I kept quiet... I didn't even move. My eyes were shut.

Him:"i know you're not asleep,just open your eyes ndfuna s'thethe"
Me:"I don't wanna talk,masilale baby"
Him:"okay just hear me out"
Me:"kay"
Him:"you know that I am from a very traditional family and we just wanna do things the right way"

I opened my eyes...
Him:"but having seen how selfish your dad is,I have asked your brother Marc for advice and he said
they'd gladly represent your family. Afterall,you grew up with them,they know you better than
anyone else so I was kinda hoping you haven't cancelled the plans you had made"

I couldn't believe my ears...

Me:"wait,so you're saying we're getting married"?

Him:"if Polo pulls through then yes,we're getting married"
Me:"I hope you don't feel pushed into this"
He kissed my lips and held the kiss without breathing,then he pulled back and removed a strand of
hair away from my face

Him:"you know I wanted this more than you do now from the begining"
Me:"awoyiki utshata"?
Him:"I should be asking you"
Me:"I mean,you will be officially tying the knot and settling down. No more foul play with the
nyatsis"

Wahleka :v

Him:"I'm not cheating incase that's what you're tryna find out"
Me:"haha! I never asked but thanks for affirming that"
Him:"unjena nakwi clients zakho at work"?
Me:"good thing I don't have actual clients as yet.Talking about something else,I received a call from
Anelisa"
Him:"uthini?"
Me:"uboleka umtana for the upcoming holidays"
Him:"what did you tell her"?
Me:"I told her ndizothetha nawe k'qala"
Him:"mmh"
Me:"so..."?
Him:"nd'zothetha no makhulu k'qala"
Me:"kay,can I sleep now"?
Him:"can I have my kiss first"?
I smiled,broadly...

Him:"cummon"
Me:"you don't deserve it"
Him:"what? Babe udlala ngam kodwa ngoku,after yonke lento ndiyenzayo"

I kissed his lips,turned the other way and covered my face. He tickled me thinking I'll give
in,wancama and just cuddled me from behind salala.

...

I was woken up by Luu's call...

Me:"mmh"?
Him:"gosh,wake up you sleepy head"
Me:"did you see the time Lukas"?
Him:"I am the one who called you remember,now sit up"

I sat up,yawning...
Me:"okay,I'm up"
Him:"good. Marcus told me about your dad's drama so today we're actually going to uncle Vee"
Me:"really"?
Him:"thought you'd be happy"
Me:"I just don't understand,so you are saying you're actually coming to EC"?
Him:"with Joe and my brother-in-law too"
Me:"you know I'm not really a morning person Luu neh"
Him:"what's that got to do with anything now"?
Me:"don't tell me jokes this early bro"
Him:"you are too slow for me,what happened to you? Parenthood?"

I smiled alone,turned and looked at Ntando who was fast asleep

Me:"thank you guys,you don't know how that makes me feel"

Him:"finally she catches on"

I laughed,covering my mouth with a near corner of the cover

Him:"we might not be the perfect family but we are family and family sticks together. No matter the
season"
Me:"you just made my day,my entire week infact"
Him:"I'm glad,now make sure you do enjoy your day. Leave the stress to us"
Me:"I love you boet. All of you"
Him:"cheers"

I almost shrieked with excitement,I planted a kiss on the king's partly open lips not one but two
kisses then I went to bath I had work to get to. When I came out of the bathroom his phone
rang,without even lifting his head he extended his hand and rejected the call waphinda walala. I got
dressed,took my bags and left them ndafika ndazenzela i cereal downstairs while Fats cooked oats
for themselves. When I was done I left for work...

I was optimistic that whole week. Ntando got a call from his uncles regarding these
negotiations,things were looking up so when the negotiations were finally over my brothers wanted
to meet me which meant I had to go to East London coz zabafune ukuza eBhayi. I put in a week's
leave ndahamba,leaving Ntando in PE nabantwana bakhe. I met with my brothers unfortunately
uncle Vee had already returned back to his farm,Joe and Sive's cousin brother had returned back to
work...

Luu:"so uhm...all went well"

Me:"oh-kay"
Marc:"we have discussed and decided that you should bank this money,invest it for future purposes"
Luu:"and as a gift from us to you,we'll pay for your wedding gown"
Me:"how much is the money"?

Bajongana...

Me:"Marc? Luu?"
Luu:"ahem,its R120K "
Me:"what? That's too much guys! Yhuuu,you guys practically cleaned umtana bantu"
Marc:"argh plz,he has more than enough. I'm sure that's petty cash to him"
Luu:"and besides,you deserve it"
Me:"but guys you could atleast have considered that he bought me a car and a house already"
Luu:"if I recall properly those were gifts"
Marc:"they don't count that much here"
Me:"who suggested the amount? And why engaka? I'm just curious"
Marc:"we all did"
Luu:"uncle Vee added the damages of your first pregnancy,and this one since they weren't taken
care off in the first place"
Me:"still feel like you guys robbed these people...but thank you. I know you had my best interests
when you went into that negotiation process...thank you so much"
Marc:"that's what we're here for"
Luu:"I actually thought your dad would use this as an opportunity to build a closer relationship with
you not destroy the little you were still trying to accept and take in"
Me:"which is why I gave him the opportunity in the first place...guess it was too good to be true"
Marc:"now that this is over, Gudda is gonna come after us like a hungry dog"
Me:"I can handle him,if he comes to you then he's a coward"
Luu:"alright then,I think we're done"

I stayed for two more days,banked the money then I went back home,Ntando wayond'khawlela.

Me:"how are my kids?"

Him:"ba grand,how's EL"
Me:"same old"
Him:"so now that this is over,when do you think we should get married"
Me:"how's November the 12th with you"?
Him:"sure"

I honestly thought he'd be bickering about lemali ayibizwe ngoo Luu but he didn't...yet. I didn't
wanna bring it up too coz I wasn't supposed to know about it in the first place. We drove straight
home,my kids were out no sis Fats so I just freshened up, wore black skinny jeans,matching cropped
top with beige knee length sleeveless coat and matching stils.

Him:"siyaphi?"
Me:"ndiyo order icake and I'm going to pay up everything else that needs to be paid"
Him:"nam ndifuna uhamba"
Me:"uyaph' kengok wena"?
Him:"ndihamba ne credit card yam fondin"
Me:"ooh,then change ke tata. Aw'zohamba nam unjalo"

He looked at himself then back at me...with a frown

Him:"what's wrong with these"?

Me:"hay babe awkho serious."
Him:"okay ke babe nd'khuphele impahla"

I gave him beige chino and matching ripped t-shirt with black Jordan kicks and no coat or jacket coz
it was hot already. Wanxiba wagqiba and had to add a gold chain on top :( we left,me driving. We
first went to the venue,I went to show him the decor I chose and then we conducted the menue
together since he wasn't here the first time then we paid and went to order our cake ophuma
kwethu we went out for lunch...

Me:"well baby thank you for coming along, we're done for today"
Him:"but we haven't been to your dresses"
Me:"aw'ngeni ndawo kwi lokhwe babe"
Him:"but I'm buying?"
Me:"nope,my family is buying that. I don't want bridemaids too but,on our way home soyojonga
eyakho isuit"
Him:"suit?"
Me:"you won't wear jeans and Tees on my wedding day libala ndoda"
Him:"but they're comfortable"
Me:"and ghetto"
Him:"well I'm ghetto too incase we are forgetting that"
Me:"ha.a babe you get to be ghetto everyday of your life, on my day you will be
elegant,sophisticated and dapper"
Him:"you mean on our day"
Me:"haha! Watch and see,aw'zobonakala wena ngalamini. I'll be the ray of sunshine everyone will
be talking about"
Him:"that's unfair"
Me:"ndadlala"!
:v
We had our lunch,headed to the boutique they took his measurements then we headed home
ndakhe ndahlala nabantwana bam. He came to join us...

Him:"you look relaxed around them"

Me:"they're my world. You all are"
Him:"which is why I want nothing but the best for y'all"
Me:"i know..."
Him:"and,Tomorrow ndiyahamba"
Me:"uyaphi"?
Him:"I have to wrap up a couple of things in Congo,ship some merchandize to Niger and Namibia"
Me:"do you have to go ngomso kengok"?

He took a deep breath and took Uve who was on my lap wasondela...

Him:"I also hate having to leave you guys but I have to"
Me:"I know...but babe I was hoping you could stay much longer. I miss spending time with
you,alone"
Him:"babe"
Me:"but its fine,as long as you'll be here for the wedding"
Him:"I'm sure Marc'O'Polo would kill me with his bare hands if I didn't pitch"
Me:"he wouldn't,but I would. Right after Eve eku trappile straight"
Him:"yho,Eve uya trender ngamanzi abilileyo"

I kissed him,took a good look at his eyes then kissed him again until Uve pushed him samhleka

Him:"heee,u pusher u tatakho kwedini"?

Me:"mommy's protector"

334

Ntando gave me his guest list before he left the following day,I returned to work and later on sent
invitations via email. I just wanted close family and friends,just a private intimate ceremony so I sent
out our less than 50 invites and went to check on my dress. In three weeks I was called for cake
testing,I couldn't really go immediately so I asked to reschedule to two days later bavuma. A day
before the tasting I got a call from Evelyn

Me:"hey Eve"
Her:"hey,I need you to pick me up"
Me:"pick you up where"?
Her:"the airport"
Me:"you do know I'm no longer in Jozi right"?
Her:"you can be slow when you want to,I'm in PE okay. Now can you come and pick me up"?
Me:"oh okay. I'm at work so just gimme a few minutes"
Her:"okay"

I wrapped up and went to fetch her,took her to lunch then drove her home ndabuyela emsebenzini
mna. When I got to work I called sis Fats to prepare dinner for us then I continued with my work
until knock off time then on my way home I received a call from my king ...

Me:"babe"
Him:"hey,how are you"?
Me:"I'm okay,unjan wena"
Him:"I'm nervous,u okay njan wena with just a few weeks of independance"?
Me:"haha! You're kidding, my independance aint dying anytime soon"
Him:"ndiyak'khumbula yaz"
Me:"nam fondin,I'm going for cake testing tomorrow"
Him:"I'm sorry I can't be there with you"
Me:"its okay,Eve's here. She'll go with me"
Him:"oh that's good,ufike nini"?
Me:"today"
Him:"okay ke,what else needs to be done"?
Me:"I'm not really sure right now but we've covered most of the priorities kwangokuya ubulapha"
Him:"alright,kiss my babies for me"
Me:"will do,I'll call you if ndifike behleli I know they miss daddy's voice"
Him:"yho babe bazoxabana ngalo phone"
Me:"yho Uve yi bully ke sana but ndizobanika anyway"

He was silent for a while...

Me:"you still there"?

Him:"yeah,you just remind me of how lucky I am"
Me:"aw Ntando"
Him:"I love you"
Me:"I love you too baby"
Him:"ndi serious mfethu,about us. Our family,Our future"
Me:"baby,u grand"?
Him:"ndi grand fondin,I'm just...I feel like I need to remind you incase you're having second
thoughts"
Me:"uyandoyikisa kalok when you talk like that especially when you're out of the country"
Him:"akho need yokoyika,siyancokola mos"
Me:"well I appreciate you being serious about me,us. It means a lot to hear it"
Him:"you know we gotta do this thing,make it work,for all the right reasons. And most
importantly,make it work for ourselves"
Me:"you sound like someone has been giving you a hard time about this whole relationship of ours.
Again"

Wathula...

Me:"baby"?
Him:"hm"
Me:"you do realize that we're both adults neh? We decided to be honest with each other,we don't
choose whom to fall inlove with but when did fall inlove we decided to love each other hard,against
all odds and we have decided to get married even when it seemed it was impossible. I don't think we
have a gap kengok to involve anyone else in our business let alone be manipulated by anyone"
Him:"I know,thank you for never changing. Despite our countless challenges"
Me:"I love you,I hate it when you sink into this dark hole coz I know I want to be with you"
Him:"you know I am glad I'm finally marrying you and I know its not a mistake"
Me:"thank you for saying that"
Him:"alright now I have to go"
Me:"send'fikile endlini though"
Him:"ikhona into edinga i attention yam,pls call me before they're bedtime"
Me:"sharp,love you"
Him:"love you"

We hung up just as I parked. I could smell beef right there, took my bags and walked inside my
house but the house was awfully quiet until I reached the stairs to my room,I could hear my boys
laughing with Eve in their nursery. I peaked,didn't see them so I figured they were bathing
ndahamba ndayokhulula in my own room and went to check on Fats I was going to help her but she
said she was almost done so I returned to the nursery ndabalinda,the came out and came to me with
their hands in the air and screams of excitement filled the room. I took each one up to my lap as
their aunt went to fetch their lotioning kit,after that sabanxibisa and went to eat. Fats fed the
boys,when all of us were done I took them to their room and called their father...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"hope aw'kho busy"
Him:"wassup"?
Me:"naba abantwana bakho"

I put the phone on loud speaker ndabanika and started tidying the room,I smiled to myself as I heard
their senseless conversation and heartfelt laughters. After some time the room was dead silent,I
went to check on them ndafika belele I took my phone and saw that Ntando hadn't hung up

Me:"ubenzeni abantwana bam"?

Him:"bes'ncokola bavela bathula"
Me:"balele ke goodnight"
Him:"sharp"

We hung up,I went to get changed into PJ's then I went to join Eve in the guest room.

Her:"your kids have grown so much"

Me:"yeah,so what's up? Where have you been? Whatchu been up to?"
Her:"I've been working in and out of Joburg,thats why I've been scarce"
Me:"mmmh,how's LD doing"?
Her:"he's good,we're great. Enough about me,soooo, you're really getting married huh"
Me:"yep"
Her:"you're still glowing,its like the first time you actually admitted to falling for him"
Me:"haha! Dude,I'm still pinching myself. I really do love him"
Her:"there's no doubt there's no turning back,you're already too deep"
Me:"I'm in it for the long haul niqqa"
Her:"so,what still needs to be done before your wedding"?
Me:"tomorrow we're going for cake tasting and pick up Ntando's suit,then later on in the week I
have to pick up my dress"
Her:"cake,yummy! I envy you, my lil sis is actually getting her dream wedding. A big,luxurious
wedding that is"
Me:"actually we're having a small intimate ceremony with just close family and friends"
Her:"small? Lemme guess,that was your idea"
Me:"yes,I just don't want no drama"
Her:"drama"?
Me:"marrying a gangsta is dramatic on its own,keeping my wedding intimate is kinda my own way of
making our day ours. With less drama coz yona soze ingabikho,I can never run away from that"
Her:"but why are you doing this to yourself? Are you prepared to live your entire life ducking and
diving? Not knowing what will happen next"?

I stopped myself halfway from answering her... We've been through this already.

Her:"I know you love him and I don't dispute that, but have you really thought this whole thing
through? Are you really going to live your life in uncertainity on daily basis? Not knowing if he'll
return in a body bag or not"?

I knew everything she was saying was the truth but...

Me:"I know you mean well but I can't help how I feel,I know the dangers that come with loving this
man. I promise you,I am well aware"
Her:"there's nothing I can say that will change your mind"
Me:"just say you'll still support me even when things go downhill for me"

She opened her arms and we hugged

Her:"there's no perfect relationship,yours might be more dangerous but they're all alike"
Me:"thank you,just for being here. Means a lot to us"
Her:"you mean to you"
Me:"to us,he's glad you're here because I was supposed to go cake tasting with him and he's out of
the country"
Her:"I don't know how you do that...the way you trust him baffles me"
I smiled... :)

Me:"ndisemncinci Eve okay,I don't wanna die because of high stress levels"
Her:"thats why I hate long distance relationships. I can't deal with not knowing his whereabouts and
daily activities...even being here right now is gonna be a struggle"
Me:"it was never easy,especially after the Chloe saga. But I learnt to trust him,we learnt to trust
each other"
Her:"he's a lucky man. He should count you three times when counting his blessings"
Me:"I know you won't agree but I'm lucky to have him too. He's the best thing that ever happened to
me,after the Smiths ofcoz"
She laughed,we lay there and eventually fell asleep. The following day I was woken up by Ntando's
call,worse it was still too early for me to wake up...

Me:"hmlow"?
Him:"hey,good morning"
Me:"mh"
Him:"cummon wake up"

I swear....
Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"geez Ntando did you check the time before calling"?
Him:"khaw'vuke ibalulekile lento nd'funa ukuxelela yona"
Me:"yho fondin can't it wait till I'm fully awake? Like emini kanje"
Him:"uhleli mos ngoku"
Me:"you're so flippen unfair yaz"
Him:"anyway,I hear your dad found out about the wedding and uthi over his dead body"
Me:"maybe he has a death wish fondin Ntando,und'vusele lonto qha?"
Him:"you do realize that this is serious,right"?

I sighed and sat up...

Me:"ufuna ndithini ke Ntando"?

Him:"and'xabenanga nawe mna sund'buza olohlobo"
Me:"and'xabenanga nawe mos nam qha ndiyabuza ufuna ndithini?"
Him:"I don't know"
Me:" I'm getting tired of defending our love to nosy people who have their own problems but can't
deal with them bazixakekise ngezam"
Him:"khaw'zame uthetha naye,I might be gangsta and all that ish but I wouldn't like to see blood on
my wedding day"
Me:"kay"
Him:"sharp"
Me:"sho"

335

After hanging up from Ntando I felt heavy,maybe I was stressing too much about this... I don't know.
All I knew was I didn't have the energy and strength for Gudda's dad. I took a deep breath... Got out
of the bed,got into my gym gear and went for a jog on the beach. The sea breeze seemed to be
cleansing my inner person,my mind and soul. I went for close to 50km then I sat down on a rock and
caught my breath,lifting up my eyes to sea the calm sea waters resting without any disturbance from
humanity somehow gave me hope. Solidarity. After fifteen minutes I jogged back home, ndafika
kusalelwe I made breakfast for all of us. I had a big and busy day ahead,I needed to be fit and ready
for it.

While making breakfast I saw Uve walking down the stairs with a teddy and one sock

Me:"marara ka mama"
Him:"hm"?
Me:"ulambile wena"?
Him:"tatam"
Me:"eshe"
Him:"itata"

I ignored him and made him porridge,cooled it down and fed him. He was in a fowl mood but he ate
finish. I wasn't gonna call Ntando mna,I had a lot in my plate already. When he was done I cleaned
him up and let him go play in the lounge,I opened curtains and windows for fresh air then went to
bath. Eve woke up xand'gqiba and she made the bed and went to shower,I lotioned,wore underwear
and a gown then I went to wake Uba up and fed him. When he was done Fats went to bath them,Eve
and I had breakfast then sayonxiba sahamba.

We started with the cakes,tasted and approved then we went to pick up iimpahla and lastly we went
to make sure the decor company was ready with everything I required...by lunch we were done. We
went to grab a bite...

Her:"you are not your usual self today"

Me:"just got alot on my mind"
Her:"you're about to get married,its understandable"
Me:"yeah...lets eat finish,I wanna spend time with my sons"
Her:"Vee was in a mood this morning"
Me:"he misses his dad,he'll be like that until he comes back"
Her:"he got that from you,you were always like that with dad"
Me:"haha,I know hey. I miss him so much. Especially now"
Her:"you probably wouldn't have found out about your dad if dad was still around"
Me:"I wish I hadn't found him"
Her:"you don't mean that"
Me:"I mean every word,I wish they could imprison him again just in a foreign country this time
around"
Her:"just give him time babe, maybe just needs to digest everything"
Me:"that man d-"
My phone disturbed us ndavela nda naar immediately

Me:"hello"
Him:"hey,u grand"
Me:"I'm cool"
Him:"unqabile,you don't call anymore"
Me:"what do you want"?
Him:"heh haibo S'bongile,can't I call my sister and find out how she's doing"?
Me:"Ayabonga"
Him:"akusekho nes'maphambili ngoku"?
Me:"Ayabonga"
Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"I don't time to waste on people like you okay,so lets not beat around the bush"
Him:"did you just say people like me"?
Me:"another thing,ima kwindawo ene signal eright or osuke emoyeni andizomane ndphinda phinda
into enye mna"
Him:"I will just pretend like I didn't hear that,just clarify this for me,what kinda people are you
talking about"
Me:"now I see why you're your dads puppy"
Him:"whoah wait,I don't know what or who upset you but suyikhuphela kum"
Me:"then this conversation is over"
Him:"S'bongile pls"
Me:"bendikubuze usaqala uthetha ba ufuna ntoni awayazi,u pls lona ucela amalizo wantoni
unabazali"?
Him:"what's going on with you? Andkwazi unjena mna"
Me:"1st mistake that you and that douchbag you call a father made,you don't know me"
Him:"did you just call dad a douchbag? okay something is definitely wrong with you"
Me:"I am perfectly fine,don't pretend like you care. We both know you don't care,you don't have a
heart nor do you have a concious ufuze uyihlo. You are the exact epitome of your father,true what
they say. Igqabi aliweli kude emthini walo"
Him:"S'bo-"
Me:"since you don't why you called let me tell you one thing before I hang up: akuphuncuki mnwe
xandingathethi nani, andinovuka ndingena nwele xandino kwamkela ukuba ifamily enini andinayo so
from today onwards please,if you still address Ntando as the King then its only relevant that to you
I'm the Queen if not then be free to call me by any of my names; Sibongile Trinalique Smith. Akho
nom-di na mtase mos emagameni wam uvile neh? Enkosi ngo mamela"

I hung up... Eve was done eating. Even ate my own plate.

Her:"that sounded intense"

Me:"masambe Ms Smith"

She shook her head smiling as she followed me. When we reached home I saw a glimpse of Uba
running aftera ball coz was playing at the backyard,we took the clothes,I went to hang them then
changed into shorts and a vest accompanied by slippers then I went to the back yard and joined my
sons,Fats who was with them left us and went inside. Eve came out with my phones...

Me:"someone called"?
Her:"the two most important men in your life"
Me:"I have em right infront of me"
Her:"your fiancé and your dad"
Me:"oh God!"

I stared at my phones wondering whom to call first then Ntando called ndsazijongile...

Me:"hi"
Him:"hey"
Me:"sup"?
Him:"might be coming home sooner than expected"
Me:"kay"
Him:"u good"
Me:"yea. Why do you ask"?
Him:"you sound... I don't know,offish"
Me:"just had a long day babe"
Him:"you guys went cake tasting"
Me:"yeah and had to finalize a couple more other things"
Him:"so that means nigqibile"
Me:"yeah,they'll deliver and set the cake at the venue on the wedding day"
Him:"good work"
Me:"thank you"
Him:"how are the boys"?
Bonginkosi called me on the second phone...

Me:"Uve uvuke wand'funa wena"

Him:"why didn't you call me"?
Me:"I didn't have the time"
Him:"cummon babe"
Me:"thetha naye ngokt,I have another call to take"
Him:"mnike iphone"

I called Uvelile,sat him down and gave him the phone then I took the second one and moved away
from him,redialled ta Bongs and waited:

Him:"S'bongile"!
Me:"hay sundikhwaza"

He exhaled... :o

Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"ndim loh"
Him:"kunini ndikufounela"
Me:"into echaza ukuba either ndi busy or I don't wanna talk to you"
Him:"unjan kodwa"?
Me:"ndilelahlobo bendililo ugqibela kwethu uthetha"
Him:"ooh ndiyabona,hay nathi siyaphila"
Me:"anenzi mahluko ke nakoko kuphila kwenu nivale nje ispace sabantu abafunu kwenza i impact.
How may I help you"?
Him:"andikuvanga pha ekuqaleni,ubusithini ke"?
Me:"ay'senamsebenzi. Mas'ncedane kule uy'vileyo"
Him:"ndiva kuthwa uyatshata"
Me:"ngubani lo unolwimi"?
Him:"hay ntombam ayilo lwimi,ndiva ngo dabawo wakho"
Me:"unalo keyena andothuki, ukuxelela ba maw'thini mhlaw'mbi"?
Him:"so you're not denying it"?
Me:"am I supposed to"?
Him:"after I told you that will never happen,you went behind my back ngalento"
Me:"who are you kanene"?
Him:"yinton le und'buza yona"?
Me:"it's called a question, phez'kwalowo ungekaw'phenduli how old am I lento ndizaw'kwenzelwa
nguwe iidecisions about my life"?
Him:"mtanam,ndinguyihlo. Aw'soze naninina ube mdala ukwedlula mna"
Me:"erh...there seems to be a mistake somewhere. Utata endimaziyo ndaa mngcwaba, so
khaw'phinde uthethe into evakalayo"
Him:"S'bongile"
Me:"ndim nge nkqu loh"
Him:"I know how hard it is for you to accept how you were conceived but that doesn't change the
fact that I am your father. Akho lwandle uzandivasa kulo,you are my daughter"
Me:"mamela ke ndoda,uyabona mna ndingu Smith through and through. When I had no one,the
Smiths became my family aba dad'wenu bebhongo bekhona betshone amaqokobheni. Through
everything endidlule kuyo ebomini bam The Smiths were there,even when YOU my so called,self-
acclaimed father couldn't handle one simple task yondimela the Smiths negotiated my lobola. They
proved to be more of a my family than my own blood. Now,I want you to stay the hell away from
me. You are nothing to me,you actually mean nothing to me because you are just a sperm donor.
Ulivolontiya nakwi sperm donors,so masiyeke udlala ngexesha lethu pretending to be a happy father
and daughter coz we are not,I'm far away from being happy after finding you. To answer your
question,yes I am getting married your evil sister wasn't lying. Please go buy a new suit and attend,I
want you to show me what you're made of ngalamini. Cause drama,cause chaos,bring it all I wanna
see it first hand coz it might be the last time I see you so please,go buy a tuxedo. Funeka
ndibenomfanekiso wakho wokugqibe omhle"

He was quiet...

Me:"ndivakele neh"?
He cleared his throat...

Me:"oh and which back are you refering to? I didn't go behind your back,awna mqolo kalok wena"

I hung up
Took my kids inside.

...

November 12th was approaching,Ntando had returned but wabuyela kokwabo promising to come
with his family this side. Nge 08th bafika :) my house was like a madhouse! But I enjoyed
returning from work to cheerful warm people... Nge 9th I called Soso,it has been a long time

Him:"my person"
Me:"bheyibhi,how are you"
Him:"ndi right mfaz'wethu unjani wena"
Me:"I'm sad,aw'zobakho emtshatweni wam"
Him:"haaayi! Utshata nini"?
Me:"in three days fondini"
Him:"now I'm sad"
Me:"but its okay,I know you'd be here if you were around"
Him:"are the twins coming"?
Me:"yeah bazofika ngomso"
Him:"nd'zobaxelela to send me pictures"
Me:"alright ke lovie"
Him:"mamela ke"
Me:"ndimamele darling"
Him:"I hope ikhona ke la cake ihlala for more than three years coz ndizobuya and demand my piece"
Me:"haha yhu uphambene Soso three years"
Him:"ewe kalok,if you were a virgin ubuzoy'gcina niyitye xa uzele. So as we both know akho bu virgin
ngandawo apho,lo cake izobekelwa u uncle Soso"

I couldn't stop laughing :p !

336

I signed a leave form at work on the tenth,Keri and Sive arrived that same day then we went to the
spa. Later on Marc arrived with his girlfriend,along with two other ladies and I was on top form this
time around,I wasn't gonna take no shit from no one. I specified on the invitations that everyone
should RSVP for venue and catering purposes so they decided to bring other people without
informing me bazozibona ke.

Fats cooked with Keri's nanny since we were a full house,I went upstairs, Ntando followed wafika
ndivasa ubuso

Him:"u grand"?
Me:"yep"
Him:"u sure"
Me:"ndi grand Ntando,why don't you join the other guys"?
Him:"ndbona oko uthule ungena ko brother wakho"
Me:"hay ndi grand mna"
Him:"u sure babe"
Me:"ndi sure baby man"
Him:"okay,I'm leaving you alone ke. U grand mos noba ndikushiye wedwa"

Ndamjonga

Him:"okay,okay"
Me:"tchi"

He came to kiss my lips wand'jonga and kissed my forehead

Him:"I love you,okay"

Me:"I know tatakhe"
Him:"okay ndiyahamba ke"
Me:"hamba"

He smiled and left me,I changed into pj's wore a gown along with slippers then I went to join the rest
of the people for dinner. We had dinner,everyone was in high spirits even the strangers were jolly.
Marc came in evela phandle

Him:"can we talk"?
Me:"sure"

He walked back out,I followed right behind him saphuma phandle

Me:"what's up"?
Him:"I just... How do you feel about these extra people"?
Me:"how am I supposed to feel"?
Him:"I guess what I'm trying to do is apologise for bringing extra people without informing you"
Me:"I don't mind as long as you accommodate them"
Him:"oh"
Me:"and since I wasn't told,you guys should figure out how tomorrow will work out coz the venue is
set for a specific number of people"

Wathula...
Ndamjonga

Him:"I'll talk to Liz about that"

Me:"thank you"
Him:"I hope you're really not upset about this"
Me:"I expected nothing less from Liz,don't stress yourself 'bout it"
Him:"alright,I love you okay"
Me:"love you boet"

We walked back inside,I finished off my food then everyone headed to their alocated rooms. I went
to my room with my boys,Booboo and Keri's two kids coz some people were gonna sleep in the
nursery. A few minutes after we settled in bed I heard a knock and went to open the door

Me:"Elizabeth"
Her:"hey,I have a small problem"
Me:"oh-kay"?
Her:"the ladies I came with,have nowhere to sleep"?
Me:"okay"
Her:"can you organize something for us"?
Me:"talk to Marcus"
Her:"oh okay"
Me:"sharp"
Her:"night"

I closed the door and got in bed.

....

The following day I was woken up by all the young females in the house...

Me:"okay what's going on"?

Keri:"we have decided to make you a lil kitchen party,right here right now"

I yawned,rubbed my eyes and looked at everyone in the room,they all had giftbags in their hands. I
smiled and got out of bed...

Me:"thank you guys,but,can I atleast wash my face"?

Her:"sure"

When I came back,the kids were out,the bed was made but all of us were in pjs. Sive was the madam
speaker for the "party" haike yaqala into. Ndayalwa ke,ndanikwa ii gifts... Ntando knocked once and
opened the door wothuka bamtshatshalaza

Him:"I'm sorry girls,I didn't know nilapha"

Sive:"well now you know"
Him:"can I have a word with my wife"?
Eve:"don't you know its bad luck to see your fiancé a day before the wedding"?
Him:"hay man Eve khayeke"

Ndaphakama and went to him while they were still arguing

Me:"5 minutes guys"

Saphuma and stood in the passage,I kissed him wancuma

Him:"nenza i party na"?

Me:"yeah,bandenzela a small kitchen party"
Him:"mmh,ndcela undkhuphela impahla siya e Walmer namajita"
Me:"entweni"?
Him:"don't worry 'bout it,its nothing illegal"
Me:"don't get yourselves in trouble please"

He kissed my lips
I left him ndayomkhuphela impahla,kissed him one more time then returned to the ladies we
continued with the party... Only people missing here were Liz and her friends and I didn't mind at all.

Later on,after the party we departed and went to bath sayotya and mingled with the rest of the
people endlini. My brothers returned with every other guy...
I was at the backyard when Kuhle came looking for me

Him:"you know you can still backout,there's still enough time"?

I turned and smiled wearily,he came to sit next to me

Me:"hey buddy"
Him:"you don't look like an excited bride to be,anything I can help with"?
Me:"naah,err'thang will work itself out"
Him:"ngu bra"?
Me:"no,ayinguye ntwana yam...its my newly found family"
Him:"abafuni utshate no bra"?
Me:"nope"
Him:"will they attend"?
Me:"I don't know,I hope not. I don't want drama here,my dad has already sworn over his dad body
that I won't marry your brother"
Him:"don't worry about it, nothing will happen tomorrow. You will get married in a peaceful and
merry environment"
Me:"thank you Kay"
Him:"you are welcome,hug"?

I moved closer we hugged, wand'shiya ke ndahlala ndedwa a couple more minutes kwafika u Luke...

Him:"I've been searching this whole house for you"

I turned and my heart dropped to my stomach,I got up and ran to hug him. Tightly.

Him:"hey hey,its okay"

I swear I cried,his hug made me cry..emotional.

We sat down

Him:"your man is also looking for you,he's been calling you"

Me:"left my phones inside"
Him:"don't worry about tomorrow,we're here for you"
Me:"thank you"

We spent a few more minutes there then sangena endlini. Ntando was in a couch with his family,I
just walked to my room,bathed,drank two panado capsules and got in bed ndalala.
I felt him get in bed and hug me from behind but I was too deep asleep,thank God he didn't wake
me up coz I wasn't really in the mood to talk to him.

When I woke up on my wedding day,he wasn't in bed. I went to bath then went downstairs ndafika
wonkumntu exakekile ku busy,I saw my mother in law with all four of her grandkids sebegqibe
nonxiba ndothuka and returned to my room ndaz'phosa on my bed with a sigh
I took my phone and called the hubby. Someone else answered his phone

Him:"madam,khaw'bambe kancinci uyeza u bra"

Me:"Sihle"?
Him:"yep that's me... Senguyelo no bra"

... The phone exchanged hands

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"hey,umke nini? Ndivuke ungekho"
Him:"ndimke early usalele"
Me:"aw'zoza apha"?
Him:"ha.a we'll meet at the venue..."
Me:"kay"
I had a lump in my throat...a tear trickled down my cheeks :'(

Him:"why,is everything okay"?

Me:"I'm scared"
Him:"baby maan"
Me:"nyhani...what if this day doesn't end well"?
Him:"It will end better than well,believe me. I promise you that"

Ndathula...

Him:"I promise"
Me:"kay"
Him:"I love you sweety"
Me:"did you just call me sweety"?
He laughed :)

Me:"gosh what have I done to you"?

Him:"und'dlisile fondin"
Me:"ncooh babe,I love you uyeva"
Him:"now get dressed,we have a wedding to go to"
Me:"who said I'm not dressed"?
Him:"I know you're not dressed,you're probably on your back phez'kwe bhedi right now"
Me:"uyadika uyeva"
Him:"babe which is which,uqale ngokuth' uyand'thanda now ndiyadika"
Me:"I love you nodika kwakho Z'khali"
Him:"uyekile ukoyika babe"?
Me:"enkosi sthandwa sam"
Him:"now get up,get dressed lets meet at the alter"
Me:"yassur"!

We hung up ndanxiba,the ladies came to assist me with the make up then when everybody including
me was done we headed to the venue.

#337
I was the quiet one I think it was nervs,everyone was excited. When we reached the venue they left
me and went inside I needed time to myself just g few minutes before I commit my entire life to a
gangsta,Marc came to the car

Him:"hey lil sis"

Me:"hey boet"
Him:"ready to get hitched"?
Me:"as ready as can be"
Him:"are you sure about this? You can still turn back if you want"
Me:"thank you boet but this is it,there's no turning back now"
Him:"good,come let your big brother walk you down the aisle"

I smiled,got out of the car and took a deep breath checking out myself and reapplied my lipgloss. He
fixed my hair and took my hand sahamba,immediately when we walked into the venue I swear the
atmosphere changed,the music changed and the people stood up. I took one last look at Marc's
broad smile and then we walked in step by step side by side towards the alter. I couldn't believe my
eyes when I saw Ntando... I swear the suit plus the glory of the day made him look more of the king
and business man he is than all this gangsta facade ish. Our eyes locked for a second,he smiled and
looked down I thought I saw a glimpse of tear glasses around the corners of his eyes and my heart
melted I'm the emotional partner here,how can a Beast feel that much for me? That moment I
realized that he loved me more than I actually believed. When we reached the alter Marcus looked
at me and whispered "are you sure"? I nod with a smile,he returned the smile and kissed my
cheek...he turned,shook Ntando's hand wayohlala phantsi then I walked up to him and we turned to
face the pastor

Him:"you may all be seated. Greetings beloved,Today we are blessed to have gathered here for the
holy matrimony of Mr Ntando Ntabeni and Ms Sibongile Trinalique Smith. Now if there's anyone
amongst us who believes these two should not continue in this union pls speak now or forever hold
your peace"

My heart started beating fast,I swear if anyone stood up I would've fainted right there. I counted
from one to ten in my head... Lord I didn't need no drama,not today of all days. I eyed Ntando,he
was just not fazed :o uphola njan umntu kwi meko enjena?

Him:"okay,now we can proceed,the couple have decided to make their own vows so Mr Ntabeni as
the head of the house please go first"

We were now facing each other,he took a deep breath and lifted his eyes sajongana as he held both
my hands. Even now I could see that he was overwhelmed

Bae:"The struggles we had to go through,the hardships we faced coming to this day,the wars we had
to fight,the people we had to defy...honestly I didn't think we were strong enough".

He paused...I just smiled

Bae:"You have loved me when I was least loveable,to tell you the truth,when we met I was in bad
space and I can say the timing was wrong but even through that you made me love again. I saw
uthando lwakho when love my kids as if they were your own. I might not tell you everyday or should
I say I haven't told you that when I met you I couldn't trust a woman because of my previous
relationships but you changed that. You changed me,you showed me that love has no age and above
all,love conquors everything. Today as I wed you,I first want to say thank you for loving a ruined man
like me,I know its not easy but I also know we have it under control coz we got each other. I love
you"

My face was a mess...

Good thing Sive got those expensive 24hr makeups otherwise ngendinemihlisela emnyama
yenyembezi
The pastor indicated that it was now my turn... I took a deep breath ndamjonga,I sniffed and looked
at him with a smile

Me:"dude you just ruined my makeup"

He chuckled...

Me:"People even now are still critical about our relationship,some have told me I'm with you
because of your money and some have insinuated otherwise but we both know why we are here,
how we got here and what got us here. People might see you as a beast or a boss but in you I see my
person. We have had times where you had to be a father not only to your sons but to me as well,the
struggles we've been through were supposed to tear us apart yet they brought us together. I walk
into this path with you knowing that there are greater battles ahead but I don't fret coz I know
you've got me tight and I've got you,my man,my king,my baby daddy,my hubby but most
importantly my best friend. I love you,I have tried many times not to but I do and today I am the
happiest woman in here just to take your last name".

The pastor blessed the rings and gave Ntando,he spoke after the pastor as he inserted it into my
finger then it was my turn ndenza the same thing.

Pstr:"Mr Ntabeni,you may now kiss your bride"

He took a step closer savela sahleka...then he just pecked my lips and moved away.

Pstr:"Mr and Mrs Ntabeni"

They applauded sayohlala on our main table,starters were served while our friends delivered their
speeches. By the time the main dish was served our family members were talking; kwaphakama u
Kuhle

Him:"molweni,ndingu Kuhle and this is my big brother... Ingqawa yethu pha ekhaya. Ndithunyiwe ke
apha ngu Soso bro uthe I should read this to you: grootman,I wish you all the best but one thing I
think you should keep in mind is that you married intwana yam so lonto ithi ke bhuti utshate nam.
Xand'buyile ndizo demand'er i cake yam and most importantly iroom yam pha kwakho not i spare
room,a Soso customized room. Thank you"

Everyone was laughing...ba worse when Eve took to the stand:

Her:"I'm Evelyn,I just wanna congratulate my lil sister today,I knew from that first time you saw each
other that one day I'll be giving a speech on your wedding day congrats baby. Big guy"?
Bae:"uh-oh here comes trouble"
:v
Her:"all you have to do is treat her well with respect and appreciation then love her like there's no
tomorrow . If you do that I won't have to shower you with a kettle of boiling water"
Me:"hay Eve"
Her:"I'm just being honest here,although I don't think we'll need the water coz your wife has a black
belt in karate so u sorted"
With that she passed on the mic to other people.
It was now our turn for thanksgiving speech he said I should speak on his behalf...

Me:"good evening friends and family. It is our great pleasure to have spent this day with all of you
and we both appreciate you being here. My husband is acting shy right now so I'm going to also
speak on his behalf but first I wanna thank my family for always being there for me and then my new
family abantu bakwa Ntabeni,thank you for accepting me as your daughter. Sino and Owe,thank you
for loving me as you would love your own biological mothers. Once again,to all our friends and
colleagues thank you guys. Luu and Sihle have organised an after party so enjoy yourselves"

After everything was said and done we returned home,I headed straight to our room ndakhulula,he
walked and came behind me biting and kissing from my neck,ears and cheeks

Me:"you owe me a kiss"

Him:"you owe me more than a kiss"
Me:"pls help me with the zip,tjo iyasinda le lokhwe"
Him:"I brought you changing clothes,our flight is ready for us"
Me:"flight? Are we going somewhere"?
Him:"xa abantu begqibotshata I think its customary for them to go the honeymoon"
Me:"yhooo! Yaz I didn't even think of that,but sizobathini abantu? My babies"?
Him:"everyone here will take care of the kids,besides,this is still our day"
Me:"mmh I hear you sir,let me shower and change then"
Him:"akho need yovasa just change babe man"
Me:"eshee"

We both changed into jeans and white tees mine was written "His wife" and his was written "her
husband" in the fron,chest area. Then we went downstairs,kissed the kids goodbye sahamba,Mo
was ready for us as usual. When we reached the airport exactly where the jet was parked there were
about eight men in black...

Me:"babe are these your men"?

Him:"eerh... I don't know who these people are"

Ndamjonga...

Him:"don't panic,nothing is gonna happen"

Me:"your jet is surrounded by strangers and you're telling me to not panic"?
Him:"babe calm down,lemme call Mo"

He dialled Mo it went straight vm

Me:"I should've known"

He dialed someone else,I dialed my brother.

Him:"Tee,whats up"?
Me:"we just arrived at the airport and the jet is surrounded by up to eight men and Ntando doesn't
know who they are"
Him:"okay stay in the car,we'll be right there"
Me:"kay"

Ntando was still on the phone... I swear my nerves were on breaking point.

#338
Ntando put his phone down,got out of the car and went to the back passenger seats underneath
them wakhupha two fully loaded guns...

Me:"is that neccessary? Uyaphi?"

Him:"stay in the car,lemme talk to these people"
Me:"guns don't talk baby ndcela ulinde o Marc,they said they're on the way here"
Him:"I can handle this myself"
Me:"heh Ntando I don't wanna cancel my honeymoon and mourn your death,pls. Waiting a few
more minutes won't hurt"

He came to my side,kissed me so deep and looked me in the eyeballs

Him:"Beasts don't die. Just stay put"

Me:"ba-"

He was gone,I watched from a distance and saw him talking to two of the guys. His phone rang...

Me:"Mo hi uphi"?
Him:"I'm on my way to the airport ma'am,how far are you and the big guy"?
Me:"we're at the airport,you're on your way from where"?
Him:"I went to buy a few items I needed,is there a problem"?
Me:"nah I'm sure its nothing Ntando can't handle. Sharp"
Him:"ok I'm sorry to keep yall waiting"
Me:"don't worry 'bout it"
Him:"okay"

I hung up and waited in anticipation as I saw Ntando's entourage of black cars driving in,I looked at
Ntando and saw him slapping one of the guys,the other seven removed guns from their waists and
pointed at Ntando. I looked behind me and saw Ranger with four guys getting out of Rangers car
then they started walking towards the jet. Then four other guys from another car,then Marcus came
to the car and knocked,I unlocked the door and got out he hugged me.

Him:"relax,everything is fine"
Me:"come on Marc,Ntando just slapped the lights out of that guys head. I know everything is not
fine"
Him:"come on Tee relax,I got you okay"
Me:"who are those people anyway"?
Him:"I don't really care as long you're safe"
Me:"so you'll wait here with me"?
Him:"yeah,we will wait here with you. Ranger and the rest can handle whatever is going on there"
Me:"thank you"

We got inside the car saz'valela pha...

Me:"can I ask you something"?

Him:"oh-kay"
Me:"are you and Liz okay"?
Him:"why do you ask"?
Me:"is that you answer"?

He sighed...
Him:"okay...we're kinda going through a rough patch right now"
Me:"are you the reason"?
Him:"maybe,but why are we talking about my relationship"?
Me:"you know,she loves you. Very much so"
Him:"she has a very strange way of showing that,not that I care anyway"
Me:"since when"?
Him:"its been a while"
Me:"Liz has been there for you,with you in your highs and lows don't do this to her. We both know
she can be a lizard sometimes but you know more than anybody else that she's got a good heart"
Him:"did you just say she can be a lizard"?
Me:"who me? Liz a lizard? No I would never say such a horrible thing about your future wife...now
don't change the subject"
Him:"yeah man,I know she's a good person. Its just...I don't know how to put this,we are bored of
each other"
Me:"bored? So you are cheating on each other? That's the lamest excuse I've heard"
Him:"I'm not cheating I'm just having fun Tee"

I looked at him and shook my head in unbelief

Him:"I guess since you're married now I can say confess to you,Liz doesn't want me to touch her,she
is no longer taking care of herself,she has stopped going out but she fills my house with these extra
cousins and friends I've never met"
Me:"do you give her money to take care of herself,go out or even visit some friends and family"?
Him:"its even on debit order,I give her 10k every month but I don't see what she's doing with it"
Me:"just know that you can't afford to loose her"
Him:"if she doesn't change then I will,she's not the only woman outhere"
Me:"you don't mean that"
Him:"hm"
Me:"what about junior"?
Him:"he will be well taken care off"

Ay ndathula
I looked towards the jet and saw Ntando coming towards the car

Me:"just give her a chance boet,and another thing,also take responsibility coz you also played part in
how things are right now"
Him:"yeah yeah,here comes your man"

We both got out of the car...

Me:"what's going on"?

Bae:"Polo please take our luggage to the jet my man"

I looked at him with my arms folded,did he just ignore me? Marc took our mini luggage and walked
away sash'yeka sijamelene. He pulled me close by the waist...

Him:"everything is cool,we are going away from all of this to enjoy our honeymoon neh"
Me:"who are those guys"?
Him:"they're not important right now,masambe u Mo ume ngathi"

He kissed between my eyes sahamba hand-in-hand. When we got there I hugged my brother then
we boarded ne king yam,after a few minutes Mo started picking up the machine...and then it
steadied. I got up from my own couch and went to sit with him,I took his tablet from his hand and
put it on the small cabinet-like shelf and actually sat on his lap

Him:"aw babe,bendisathumela an important message"

Me:"is it important ukodlula mna"?
Him:"no"
Me:"good,now remove your hand"
Him:"mmh,sew'qala kwa ngoku"
Me:"I told you,you owe me,now is the perfect time to redeem your debt"
Him:"yes ma'am"

I lowered my head,my lips met his lips. We kissed. We kissed,and kissed and then we made out right
on that couch. I felt like he was punishing me for umlambisa kangaka,his kisses were seductively wet
and he dragged them from the neck to the lips making me gasp for breath inbetween moans,sighs
and groans. He grabbed my behind and pulled me closer as he sucked my tongue in..just as our
blood was hot and flowing I pushed him back ndamncumela,got up and went the mini bar fridge...
Needed water,this jet was somehow getting hotter and hotter :v xand'buya wavela wahleka

Him:"I paid my dept,now you owe me"

Me:"phola,when I repay you.you will beg to be indebted to me forever"

I just went over and cuddled on him until Mo said sifikile,hours later. I got up stretched and headed
towards the exit ndaphuma. He followed with our luggage,a car was already waiting for us sangena
went to this secluded vintage white house that looked very old on the outside but when we walked
it had a very stylish royal presence... A porter took our luggage and lead us to our room and it took
my breath away it was elegant..massive and beautiful. I went to the window,the sun was coming out
at the horizons of a peaceful beautiful island beach oko ndincumile as he tipped the porter,locked
door and came behind me

Me:"baby this is beautiful"

He kissed the back of my neck

Him:"asoze ifike kuwe"

I turned and kissed him,we kissed for a while before he lifted me up and put me on the bed,he took
his time kissing from my lips,neck and down until he had to strip me naked still kissing my entire
body yet giving attention to those sensitive delicate areas.

Him:"I'm sooo going to enjoy this payback"

Me:"mmmh"

Wahleka and got up,I opened my eyes ndamjonga :'( he took the phone and ordered breakfast coz
we flew throughout the night, I was sure there'll be a big wet spot on my underwear but ndaz'cenga
and sat up,crossing my legs after I took his tab and took nude selfies. He came back wakhulula i vest
safota

Me:"what did you order"?

Him:"full english breakfast and champagne"
Me:"make another order,I want whipped cream,melted chocolate and a punnet of strawberries"
Him:"isn't that supposed to be some sort of dessert"?
Me:"says who"?
Him:"I don't know ndiyabuza nam nje"
Me:"babe pick up the phone and order"
Him:"you're bullying me right now"
Me:"payback for getting me wet and leaving me hanging"

He bit my shoulder and called the kitchen,I was tempted to call anyone at home and ask about my
kids. I missed them,I usually normally see them every day before I go to bed and before I leave for
work. He saw me dialing and took the phone away from me

Him:"ha.a babe,we agreed not to do that"

Me:"but I miss my babies Ntando"
Him:"I miss them too but we're not calling them"

I sulked,then we heard a knock waphakama and went to get the food. I took a gown and draped it
around my body gqiba kwethu satya sancokola

Me:"so how long do I have you all to myself"?

Him:"how long do you want to have me"?
Me:"haha uyayaz nje,just gimme the timeframe"
Him:"a week or two,if you're enjoying yourself"
Me:"its not about me but us"
Him:"I've been here before ndfuna wena wonwabe"
Me:"we could go on and on around this you know"
Him:"ok ke babe sohlala as long as we want to"

We ate the breakfast finish then he went to bed while I tidied up the plates,then I took the whipped
cream and associates to bed and squatted on him,drippled the melted choc from his bottom lip
down to his navel he wasn't smiling but I could feel the heat. I dipped the strawberries into the
cream and positioned each exactly on the chocolate base
I removed the gown,tossed it aside and started eating my dessert from the bottom all the way up to
his lips. I teased him with bites here and there,not really kissing him

Him:"baby"
Me:"ssshhh"

I continued with what I was doing,my mistake was to put the bowl on the bedside table...he saw an
opportunity and turned us around,I was battling him laughing until I couldn't anymore I gave up.

Him:"uzoyazi i torture baby"

Me:"ah babe,you're spoiling the fun now"
Him:"fun? Baby you're killing me here"

Before I could answer he stuffed my mouth with creamed strawberry.

339

I almost choked on that berry coz I was laughing...he smothered my boobies with the cream then he
added the chocolate and then lastly he licked it off. Slowly. I couldn't help but squirm when he
bit,sucked and pulled my nipples... He took satisfaction from that and punished me more by taking
his time until he finished the cream. My eyes were closed until I felt something like sticky liquid on
my mound I opened my eyes and saw him pouring the melted chocolate delicantly on me,he placed
the remaining strawberries on the chocolate and ate them off my body. In a matter of minutes I felt
his tongue groping in my mound,digging for the chocolate that sunk in there I opened wide for him
to go deeper as I bucked and gasped for air I pulled the sheets on one side,the other hand pushed
his head to reach the depths of my cookie jar. He abruptly stopped wand'jonga

Me:"baby pl- please"

Him:"hm"?
Me:"I wanna feel you inside"
Him:"you have to learn to chill"

With that he came up to my lips,kissed me for a while then I felt him going deep inside of me. The
way he was so good with this I had my nails clawed deep into his flesh...
He had me saying things I know I wouldn't say even when I am drunk,made me do things I've done
before, things I never thought I'd find myself doing... I was going crazy over this niqqa all over again.
He made real love to me,slow motion,got me thinking and believing there's no greater love outhere
besides the one I'm getting.
...

We spent a week indoors doing everything and anything newlyweds would do then the following
week we either went out for a walk on the beach,went sight seeing or just went for a swim and took
picture whilst at it. We even had our own lil braai at the beach on our second to the last day in the
evening...

I saw an opportunity to ask him about utata ka Gudda right after sigqibotya,just chilling on camp
chairs sipping on champagne

Me:"my love"
Him:"sthandwa sam"
Me:"akhonto ubawela und'balisela yona"?
Him:"nothing in particular,why do you ask"?
Me:"there's something you or ta Bongs are not telling me. Why does he hate you so much"?
Him:"I don't know baby"
Me:"nyhani mfethu"
Him:"umfo wenu ngu Gudda not me"
Me:"argh cummon now don't try to change the subject"
Him:"but baby I wasn't"
Me:"khand'jonge"

Wand'jonga wahleka...

Me:"I've been around for a while so ndiyamazi umntu oxokayo no phosisayo babe"
Him:"is there supposed to be a difference between those words"?
Me:"I can see uyaxoka right now,please just tell me the truth babe"
Him:"do we have to talk about him on our honeymoon though"?
Me:"no we don't have to,but we already have so pls dont dodge the question"

He channeled the fire,sending sparks up into the sky

Him:"your dad and I know each other from a lifetime ago"

Me:"know each other from where"?
Him:"around"

I stopped eating ndamjonga

Me:"sundenza muncu mfethu"
Him:"again,umfo wenu ngu Gudda,not mna baby"
Me:"nazanaphi no Bong'nkosi Ntando"
Him:"babe can we not talk about this here,now? Please"
Me:"then tonight you better book yourself into another room"
Him:"that's unfair"

I got up and walked towards the house but stopped after a few steps away from him

Me:"you know what's unfair? You. Making me believe we are through with keeping secrets from
each other yet you can even lie about this to my face. Makes me wonder what other lies have I been
fed"

Ndamshiya apho. I knew very well that this was an unneccessary tantrum but I wanted to know the
truth and I had no other plan but this one. I had a feeling that he was keeping a secret from
me,judging by the way he dodged the question,after a few seconds I heard his footsteps behind me
wandfumana and stopped me wema phamb'kwam

Me:"khand'yeke Ntando"
Him:"I'll tell you"

I folded my arms ndamjonga

Him:"ta Bongs ngu tata ka Anelisa"

Me:"Anelisa? Anelisa waphi"?
Him:"Anelisa,mama ka Sino"

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets,my jaw dropped...

Me:"I don't believe you"

Him:"ndthetha inyani"
Me:"okay,but how did you get into the picture"?
Him:"when he was first arrested back then waye waphuma after 10 years I think,then he committed
another offence while he was still on parole wabuyela ngaphakathi. By the time I started dating
Anelisa he was already back in there,6 years later weva ba Anelisa is pregnant and umithiswe ndim
wavuya coz bendingavelanga ba I'm also what he is so I guess he found comfort in knowing his
daughter found a decent man"
Me:"say it,gangsta"
Him:"yes that"

I chuckled...so he can't even say he's a gangsta now?

Him:"so after alot of fights and all those messy stuff I went through with his daughter sohlukana
wabe u ta Bongs wayefuna ndimtshate umtanakhe and that was impossible. Our relationship had
turned toxic"
Me:"how did he find out about the breakup"?
Him:"Gudda"
Me:"why am I not surprised"
Him:"yeah so yilo way ke"
Me:"and now you are with me maybe he thinks you will break my heart like you did his other
daughter"
Him:"she was never hearubroken,u Anelisa wayesele esenza unothanda in this relation wa worse
kengok when she befriended Chuma bafuna und'tshisa nendlu"

I took a moment to digest all of this...

Me:"so you are telling me that I share a father with your baby mama,that I just got married my half-
sisters ex boyfriend, and that I'm actually umakazi ka Sino"?
Him:"...yeap"

I found a rock and sat down...

Me:"this explains your reaction that day I told you about him"
Him:"thought you didn't notice"
Me:"you should have told me,even if ibingazotshintshanto but still. You should have told me"
Him:"I thought uzode akuxelele ngokwakhe"
Me:"we're in a relationship, I would like you to trust me enough to tell me anything. I hate having to
dig and beg for you to be open and be honest about anything and everything. Especially if it involves
either one of us"
Him:"babe I expected your dad to tell you ngokwakhe,but I'm sorry I never told you sooner"
Me:"kay"

This made me think,there's probably a good chance abantwana balendoda bathe saaa phandl'apha
abazani into ezokwenzeka bazozalisana qha coz nathi no Anelisa asazani ba singabomntu omnye.
Well I know now.
I got up...

Me:"should we go inside"?
Him:"lets take a walk on the beach"

He reached for my hand sahamba in silence for a couple of minutes

Me:"you never told me anything about your father, infact you never talk about him"
Him:"there's not much to talk about"
Me:"uyamazi"?
Him:"vividly yes"
Me:"ooh...atleast you know ayingo Bong'nkosi"
Him:"nah ayinguye,even if ibinguye besophela siqina enyaleni"

I looked at him :v I couldn't contain my laughter :p

Him:"nyhani fondin,aba jikwa ndawo abantwana mos so bekungazobakho reason for us to breakup
sesizele"
Me:"what a taboo"!
Him:"speaking of abantwana, am expecting triplets nine months from now"
Me:"triplets? From where"?
Him:"from you,boys only"
Me:"uselishweni ntwana yam that's not happening anytime soon"
Him:"haibo fondin ndsebenze kangaka this past week"
Me:"ubusenza abantwana kanti? I thought you were just showing your wife a good time"
Him:"that too"
Me:"well its still too early babe,Uba and Uve still need my time,love and undivided attention"
Him:"you know thats the smartest way of telling me you're on birth control"
Me:"you're a smart man. One other thing I wanted to discuss with you"
Him:"as long as it won't have us arguing like maniacs"
Me:"it shouldn't... I was thinking,we should open a trust fund for the boys AND I think now I'm ready
to go into the business I once spoke about"
Him:"what about work"?
Me:"internship iyaphela in two weeks,but even if ndiye ndaqeshwa pha I still want something of my
own"
Him:"so you basically need funding"?
Me:"something like that"
Him:"okay,here's what we will do. When we return home you will conduct a research on what
business you really wanna get into,make a business plan and lastly draw up a business proposal for
me to look at"
Me:"okay,thank you"
Him:"trust fund send'benzele bonke,I'm busy saving imali yabo yofunda ngoku"
Me:"ooh,okay"
Him:"but I wanted us to upgrade our cars this December"
Me:"I love my car just as it is,if you wanna upgrade me then buy me a Range too. As my second car"
Him:"a Range"?
Me:"yep,or undiphe la Range yakho ise Joburg. The drop top"
Him:"uthanda i Range or kuba iyi coup babe"?
Me:"both babe"
Him:"alright,zok'khangelela eyakho when I return to the Capeg but it won't be black"
Me:"nah,I want red or white"
Him:"mmkay"

We walked back to the house, washed our feet and got in bed.

#340

We spent one more day then sagoduka,I really missed my sons. When we landed,one of his guys had
already been waiting for us so we got in the car and were taken home. Safika kuthe nkcwee ngathi
akho bantu,I left him esakhupha impahla ndaya emnyango,it was locked. He also came to the door
wand'jonga

Him:"don't you have a spare key"?

Me:"I do,singaphakathi"
Him:"yho"

He called someone
I called Fats,her phone didn't even ring. I called mama ka Ntando yakhala yodwa and then hit VM,I
looked at Ntando until wagqiba uthetha on the phone.

Me:"okay,where's everyone"?
Him:"we've been gone for two weeks babe abantu bagodukile"
Me:"oh? Abantwana bam bona babephi kulomgoduko kengok"?
Him:"uzofa umncinci yaz babe,breath"
Me:"hay man Ntando,how can I breath xand'fikela endlini ekhal'umoya"?
Him:"see what I mean? Uzokhula grey hairs soon"
Me:"okay okay. I'm calm,now pls tell me you know where my kids are"
Him:"bahambe no makhulu"
Me:"heee I just called her akay'bambi i phone"
Him:"inoba kungok' bend'thetha naye. We also have to get going"
Me:"siyaphi kanene"?
Him:"siya eMonti"
Me:"oh okay"

He turned and returned to the car,ndashyeka ndinyoshoza emva kwakhe. The guy drove to eZwide
wohlika leaving Ntando to drive :o

Me:"sooo we're driving to East London baby"?

Him:"yep"
Me:"oh-kay"

I kinda dozed off half of the drive,only woke up at a garage ndayothenga amanzi coz bekushushu
lawei on top of that lendoda yadlala i jazz.
Me:"baby nd'lambile mna"
Him:"ufuna utya ntoni sthandwa sam"?
Me:"anything as long as it is food"
Him:"okay,just wait a few more minutes"
Me:"kay"

I took his tablet and browsed the net,I was bored okay. Usually we use flight almost everywhere,this
was new to me...

Him:"uthen"?
Me:"I'm hungry and bored"
Him:"nyamezela"
Me:"I don't have a choice nje"

He looked at me and smiled waqhuba until we got to Nandos wayomisa kwi parking area tjo ndakhe
ndaphuma and stretched my arms and legs then we walked in,I ordered quarter chicken for the both
of us sahlala satya.

Him:"buthathe ileave engakanani"?

Me:"iyaphela next week,then I work one last week pha kuphele i internship"
Him:"mmh"
Me:"why do I get a feeling ba sizohlala apha babe"
Him:"not indefinately"
Me:"okay for how long"?
Him:"andaz' sizova ngo makhulu"
Me:"sizova ngo makhulu? Okay"
Him:"ikhona enyinto esizoyenza that might take time"
Me:"yinton yona"?

He kept quiet and ate his meal...

Me:"babe"
Him:"okay listen carefully I'll explain this to you"
Me:"...oh-kay"
Him:"traditionally neh,after getting married you're supposed to be welcomed ekhaya as umakoti
unxityiswe amadakhi,utye utsiki unxibe ne black doek"
Me:"summarize babe"
Him:"okay,uyonxityiswa ke. Take it as a second wedding"
Me:"as in the makoti thing you just spoke about"?
Him:"yeah"
Me:"oh"
Him:"masitye s'hambe I still have to pick up a couple of things ezifunwa ngumakhulu"
Me:"okay"

We ate finish then sahamba... In the car we were silent,he was thinking his own stuff and I was
thinking my own. Until I snapped...

Me:"baby"!
Him:"hm"?
Me:"so I am going to wear a black doek? And what else? How long am I supposed to wear these
things"?

Wand'jonga wahleka...

Me:"cummon baby"
Him:"you'll see"
Me:"please mfondin"
Him:"Kalok and'yaz mna baby,uzubuze umakhulu when we get to the house"
Me:"kay"

Again we drove in silence :( this thing got me worried. I didn't want to stay here more than I am
required but I didn't wanna be the unruly bride. As much as I didn't know much about this whole
thing,I was curious and wanted to do it to my utmost best not only because I have to please my
inlaws but because I know I want to learn about my culture too,I want my husband to be proud and
glad of his decision and most importantly I will be taught on how to be a real wife to my husband.
We drove to an African boutique

Him:"aw'fun'kohlika"
Me:"sizothini apha k'qala"
Him:"sizothatha impahla zakho"
Me:"ooh nyhan? Nd'yafuna"

We both got out and went inside,kuyo yonke lehambo yethu I was wearing a mint summer dress
that reached just above the knee with sandals. We walked inside,an African guy who introduced
himself as Ike gave us our package,I saw a blue one piece dress eyenziwe ngamajar'mani at the
corner ndaya kuyo. It looked beautiful,modern yet with that traditional feel.

Him:"you want"?
Me:"I don't know about wanting but I like"
Him:"its beautiful don't you wanna try it on? Maybe you will want it"
Me:"neh?"

He asked for my size Ike went to fetch it from the store room then showed me the fitting room I
went in ndanxiba,it really was beautiful. Especially on me now. I came out to show tatakhe,the smile
that crept onto his face said it all.

Me:"you like"?

Wancuma,Ike came to put a matching doek on my head. Damn,I killed it! One look at my husband
confirmed what I was feeling
Him:"I love"
Me:"uzand'thengela"?
Him:"you feel comfortable in it"?
Me:"very much so... I don't wanna take it off :'( "
Him:"hah! Just now you were sceptical about these things"
Me:"eshe,uzama uzenza juicy ngam kengok? Uzand'thengela ne babe wam"?

He looked at Ike

Him:"we're taking this"

Ike:"no be problem ma broda"

I couldn't control my smile,I went to change ndabuya ndanika u Ike he packaged it and gave
us,Ntando paid sahamba. I couldn't understand why I never looked at such clothing before :p

Me:"so where are we going to right now"?

Him:"I'm not sure,siyephi between Spar and PnP?"
Me:"are we buying groceries"?
Him:"just cereals zabantwana kuthwa z'phelile"
Me:"I think SPAR will be fine"
Him:"kay"

We drove to Spar,sayothenga ezizinto ebez'xela,I also added a few items I needed ne choki :p

Me:"babe abantwana sobaphathelani?"

Him:"nguwe umama,you should know"

Utsho kuban? I took everything I could put my hands on thinking uzonqanda but he didn't then
sagoduka straight after that. When we got there, there were people... I mean,a lot of people
kugcwele nje ngumntu kula yard. Okay I got a lil intimidated kengok...

Me:"you never told me you have such a big family"

Him:"family friends,extended family members who couldn't attend our white wedding and our
neighbours who couldn't afford to go to PE"
Me:"so all these people came here because of okukunxityiswa kwam"?
Him:"you can call it a traditional wedding"

Again I looked outside...the women were ululating,singing pure Xhosa song, they were celebrating. I
tooka deep breath before we left the car...

Him:"you need to chill"

Me:"awazi indlela endoyika ngayo babe"
Him:"come gimme a kiss before s'phume,might never get a chance"

Well I wanted to be kissed,I knew I'll be calm after lo kiss. We kissed for close to thirty seconds then
sohlika,some kids came running bezophatha oo plastic,some women who were also singing and
dancing came to me bandisa e flattin' :o sad part yayo yonke lento all my phones were with
Ntando so I couldn't text him ndimbuze kwenzeka ntoni ngoku or why ndizobekwa kule flat.
Someone who looked exactly like his mom walked in with that bag we went to fetch ku Ike,I was
then told to undress ndanikwa impahla from that bag ndanxiba,after that they fastened a scarf
around my waist bend'xelela ba what it means,then a towel across my upper body then ixakatho on
my shouldes lastly bandijikelisa. Then they said I should sit on the floor kwi khuko until late then
they took me to the main house apho ndiyalwe khona. There was one woman who said something I
couldn't believe would come out of an elderly woman :p

Her:"indoda ayilanjiswa ke makoti,akukhathaliseki nokuba nixabene kwaqhuma uthuli kodwa indoda

mayifumane ukutya kwayo apha endlini"

I found that very sensible...until she continued :o :p

Her:"funeka umphekele atye amunce iintupha mtanam,naxa umnika okwase kamereni ukutya
umnike ade afune nohamb'ekhangela i glue yoz'ncamathelisa kuwe"

Hay ndahleka kengok :v but I made sure andivakali.

Her:"enyinto nina bantu batsha nicing'ba indoda iyabotshelelwa,mtanam, uNtando

ndiyamzala,ndingu ninakazi. Ndiyamaz' umtanam ulunge xa elele uwathanda ukufa amankazana.
Ungakulinge kewena uleqeke emva kwakhe,apha koo Jojo oo Z'khali ooTiyeka sazi wena
molokazana. Futhi ke sizo jonga kuwe naxa uphela umzi wakho okanye xa sibona umtana wethu
ehebuka namadikazi phandl'apha"

Alot of them said alot of things,I was given my new name :D Luthando. Even coming to that was a
battle :( one woman suggested I be called Nobandla,another said
Amandisa,Nosakhe,Nolukholo,Nobuhle :'( I wouldn't have minded Buhle hay with the 'no' infront.
But omny'utata suggested Luthando and gave reasons then kwavunywa. After all of that kwathiwa I
should go and make tea for everyone ndayoyenza

That night Ntando sent my hand bag my luggage was already here,We texted throughout the night
oko end'cenga wanting to know my name andamxelela tu. I was finally genuinly happy coz I got to
sleep with my sons

Following morning I woke up and went to make tea,then I made breakfast then started preparing for
lunch. Ntando walked into the kitchen while I was preparing lunch,he came up and kissed my cheek

Me:"hey stranger"
Him:"Luthando wam"

I blushed ^_^

Me:"eshe uxelelwe nguban"?

Him:"makazi. You're glowing kwezimpahla yaz babe.Ubutyile?"
Me:"yep"
Him:"mmh,Let me leave you before I'm chased out"
Me:"akho nalo kiss'nyana kengok"?

He first stole a look outside then kissed me.

#341

Spent my last week of leave with the inlaws,Ntando had to go back to the Cape so he left me and my
kids behind. I emailed my boss ba andizokwaz' ubuyela espan for the lastweek of our internship.
After one month I heard ba bathathiwe abany'abantwana ebend'phangela nabo,as much as it hurt I
knew very well that there was nothing I could do about it now. On the second month ndihleli
eMonti,on just another casual day as I was busy researching my new business ventures and drafting
a business proposal for the "sponsor" I recieved a call from Faith -_- you know, when some people
call you and you just know its either drama or total bullshit! After a couple of rings I decided to pick
the call up

Me:"Mrs Titus"
Her:"hey,unjan sisi"

Thank God she didn't act all diva on me for taking my time to pick up her call coz bendizom'lungisa
namhlanje

Me:"I'm okay. Wena?"

Her:"I'm good,I wanted to congratulate you on your nuptials"
Me:"oh-kay"
Her:"and since we were not invited,I'd like to do something for you. Maybe take you shopping I'm
sure you're going to need change of clothes now that you're on a new and exciting journey of life"
Me:"you want to take me shopping"?
Her:"ewe why do you sound surprised"?
Me:"just so we're clear,you and your family weren't invited on purpose"
Her:"I'm well aware of that thank you"
Me:"good atleast we're on the same page,now on the shopping thing...thank you for the offer but
no thanks I'm sorted"
Her:"come on S'bongile,when will you accept that we're family? That I'm your aunt? I'm trying here
Please"
Me:"I don't want to be indebted to anyone,so please keep your money to yourself or go find
homeless kids to sponsor ndi sorted mna"
Her:"andyazi uba funeka senze njani to accommodate you,make you feel like part of the family that
you already are"
Me:"oh good Lord,who said I wanted to be accommodated by anyone from your family"?

She kept quiet for a sec...

I waited for her,ready!

Her:"Sibongile"
Me:"ndisengu Trina"
Her:"Sibongile"
Me:"Faith"
Her:"please. I know I was never your fan nor am I your favourite person"
Me:"okay"
Her:"but I still want to build a relationship with you coz I'm your aunt. I know aw'funi nto idibene
notatakho but that doesn't mean you should isolate all of us. You might not need us now,but life has
its own ways of humbling a person. Inyawo alina mpumlo sisi Trust me,I know. I am not tryna
blackmail you into liking or accepting us,but ndikuxelela into endiyaziyo"

Now was my turn to be quiet...

Her:"if going shopping with me is too much then can we atleast go out maybe grab a coffee or lunch.
I can come to PE akhongxaki...akhonto ndiy'funayo besides having a relationship with you qha"

I took a deep breath...

Me:"we can do lunch. Tomorrow,and I'm in East London so there's no need to go to PE"
Her:"oh thank you so much. Pls think this through then text me time and place noba ku ksasa"
Me:"okay"
Her:"alright ke bye"
Me:"sharp"

After hanging up I realized that maybe I might have been acting snobbish somehow...maybe she is
right. We don't know what life will bring k'sasa,we just live by grace. I exhaled and continued with
what I was doing until Ntando called me, yet another disturbance so I picked up the call and started
packing my things coz I knew andizophinda ndibene chance kuzofuneka ndipheke i supper

Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"tjo and'sakukhumbuli fondin"
Me:"shame"
Him:"s'thandwa sam"
Me:"mh"?
Him:"aw'fun' ubuya ngoku"?
Me:"wouldn't make no difference,use Kapa wena mna nd'zobe nd'buyela eBhayi remember"?
Him:"so aw'baweli nokuza apha kum even if its just one week nje"?
Me:"ay'kapheli i three months mtshanam"
Him:"why do I feel like ndim lo ukhumbula wena,and not the other way round"?
Me:"hahaha just because I didn't say I missed you doesn't mean I don't"
Him:"kalok itsho nam ndikuve ba uyand'khumbula fondin"
Me:"aw'sanditefeli tata ka Sino"
Him:"ndithini ke baby,awu understand wena yaz"
Me:"I understand very well kanti coz I also miss my own cars,and house. My own space"
Him:"that don't mean uyand'khumbula though,more especially when you mention your material
things"
Me:"you know I love you right"
Him:"I do?"
Me:"heeee,bakwenze nton' love kule Kapa"?
Him:"oobani"?
Me:"aba bantu ukubo,kuthen' ngok' awayazi noba ndiyak'thanda"?
Him:"it's been a while since I heard you say that word"

Uqale nini utefa uNtando bethuna :/

I got up,locked my room and went to start with supper preparations while talking to him on the
phone

Me:"baby"
Him:"hm"
Me:"I know you're probably lying on your back in your apartment and you wanna have a nice chat
with your wife. That's cute,but can I call you later? I have to cook now"
Him:"can't you multitask though"?
Me:"I misplaced my bluetooth earpiece and I lent umama my headsets ebezomamela i radio"
Him:"you're just dismissing me"
Me:"I love you vha"
Him:"mmh"

I hung up.
I missed him so much but I had gotten used to it, for a long time during our dating period we spent
months apart and to be accurate we only spent more time together once we got pregnant and
engaged. All of that made me strong, and to make things easy for me I had the most amazing
mother-in-law and a bunch of cheerful kids to brighten my gloomy days. I started with supper... Sino
walked in and sat on the high stool

Her:"mama"
Me:"baby"
Her:"can we talk,please"

I closed the lid and went to sit opposite her

Me:"okay I'm all ears"

Her:"okay so Owe and I were wondering if we could go live with you"?
Me:"you mean for holidays right"?
Her:"no I mean permanently. Sifunde phaya e Port Elizabeth"
Me:"permanently you say? May I ask why"?
Her:"we would just like to stay with you and the twins, maybe we'll even get to see daddy more
often"
Me:"Oh'kay...but umakhulu uzosh'yeka nabani"?
Her:"we'll come and visit her kaloku mama"

Ndathula and continued peeling veggies... I was just thinking coz ndiyamaz' uNtando akazovuma
lonto. Well,atleast I was hoping angavumi coz I didn't wanna live with all the kids indefinitely as yet.
Holidays are fun, but not the permanent situation when I still had the twins to nurture and my
upcoming businesses to get off the ground. This was not going to end well...let alone work for me.

Me:"okay,gimme some time to talk to your dad about it"

Her:"okay "

She went outside wayodlala. I cooked ndagqiba,dished up for everyone and served. When we were
done I collected and washed the dishes,when I was done I turned off the lights and went passed the
lounge to my room ndabizwa ngumama xand' dlula

Her:"ngomso ndiya e Matatiele,ndizohlala iveki pha"

Me:"oh okay,akhonto imbi phofu"?
Her:"umzala wam ubhujelwe ngumyeni ebene swekile"
Me:"shame,okay mama akhongxaki"
Her:"remember to lock the gate right after abantwana bemkile you will open it again xabe buya"
Me:"okay"
Her:"alright ungayolala ke sisi"

Iwent to my room fika abantwana bam bedlala nge phone zam ndaz'thatha

Uve:"mama afona itatam"

Me:"come lets bath then we'll call daddy"
Uba:"baf mama"?
Me:"yes my prince,come bath with mama"

I undressed both of them nam then we went to bath together. I let them play for a while then
saphuma,we lotioned and wore Pjs ndazama ubalalisa

Uve:"itata Ube"
Me:"khaw'lale Uvelile"
Uve:"tatam"
He started sulking and even trying to cry,I took the phone and dialed his father yakhala yodwa,I tried
the second and third phone without any luck

Me:"nana utata ulele"

Uba:"tatam mama"

Then one started crying :o xandizomthuthuzela they started crying together in a melodic
unison -_- soprano ne alto...at first I tried calming them down but they were just going on and on
ndabayeka. Ndacima isibane ndalala mna ...

My phone rang...Ntando

Me:"babe"
Him:"hey I just saw your...wait,batheni abantwana bekhala nje"
Me:"ubufunwa ngabo...khaw'thethe nabo"

I put the phone on loud speaker and put it between them

Him:"Uvelile? Ubabalo"?

They didn't hear him,how could they? Bengxola kangakaya already.

Me:"Nank' utata wenu kaloku thulani yho bafondini"

Him:"don't scorn my kids mfondin"
Me:"bayangxola Ntando"
Him:"obviously coz nawe aw'bathuthuzeli"
Uba:"tata"?
Him:"my lord"
Uve:"apuya tata"
Him:"ufuna utata abuye wena"
Uba:"e.e puye itata Uba"
Uve:"hay yi tata Ube yena"
Uba:"tatam"?
Him:"ndoda"
Uve:"tatam"?
Him:"ndoda"

Yho -_- Really?

I drifted off besenza lonto...well for a few minutes before one of them put the phone on my ear and
tried waking me up with a hot klap on my lips

Me:"mh.hm na maan nina"

Him:"hay hay"

I turned around and saw that they were slowly drifting off to sleep,I covered them

Him:"usekhona"?
Me:"yeah bend'bombathisa"
Him:"mmh"
Me:"what were you doing when I called you"?
Him:"I was busy attending to a lil something"
Me:"yinton' yona kaloku"?
Him:"hay babe its business"
Me:"for your sake I hope its business nyhani babe"
Him:"uyakhweleta babe"
Me:"looking out for my assets ayikokhweleta babe don't get that twisted"
Him:"boss lady man!"
Me:"how much time do you have? There's something I wanna discuss with you"
Him:"I'm the boss,time is not an issue thetha mntu wam"
Me:"Sino wants to live with me,us,actually both of them but kuze u Sino kum"
Him:"as in bahlale nawe eBhayi"
Me:"thats what she said"
Him:"uth' why befun'uhamba"?
Me:"and'mazi babe"
Him:"hay ay'zokwenzeka lonto,bazom'shiya naban' umama kengok"?

YES!!!! :D :D

Me:"I don't know,but Sino spoke about visiting"

Him:"ha.a thats not gonna work babe,mxelele nditsho"
Me:"kay,good night ke"
Him:"ubuthe sizoncokola babe late,ku late ngoku"

I swear I sighed :'( why did I say later? Ndozela blind ngok'.

Me:"did I say that"?

Him:"uyaz'bona ke babe"
Me:"kay okay,lets talk"
Him:"very well,so tell me..what are you wearing"?
O.o really though?
Me:"unfortunately for you I'm not wearing anything appealing"
Him:"arg babe,ngewund' qhathile ke atleast"

#342

We conversed for about an hour or so but I fell asleep during our convo,I knew uzokhalaza ksasa but
bendimxelele I'm tired I needed my rest bo. Following day I woke up and prepared for the school
children,makhulu left kwa early ndash'yeka nabantwana bam. Sis Fats was back in Joburg coz akho
msebenzi okwangoku. During the day I continued with my research for possible businesses and their
properties or rather possible locations in and or around PE... I had three in mind now I had to
compile business plans and proposals for all three of them. I called Ntando...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"hey,u right?"
Him:"ndi grand babe,wena"?
Me:"nam,I was wondering whether it would be possible that you could ask one of your friends to
check availability of property in PE for me"
Him:"property for what now"?
Me:"for my business"
Him:"oh...what kinda property are we talking about"?
Me:"safe,yet easily accessable and it must be in good health"
Him:"property in good health babe? How"?
Me:"yho I mean good condition san"
Him:"okay...I'll call you back with an answer later on"
Me:"thank you baby"
Him:"sharp"

We hung up
When I was done with all three business plans I realised that I would need to go and learn certain
required skills for the second of the three business ideas and I could only do that in June which
would give me enough time to focus on opening business number one if Hubby decides to fund me
phof. Past 10:00am I remembered I had promised Faith lunch but then again bend'cingela
nabantwana bangabuyi kungekho bantu endlini so I called her,way' bamba shame

Her:"hellow"
Me:"Faith hi,I was wondering if we can make it brunch? Nd'cingela abantwana babuye ndingekho"
Her:"whatever suits you sisi"
Me:"lets make it 11:30 to 12 at Grazia"
Her:"oh okay"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and went to bath with my sons,we came out,lotioned and then we all got dressed in navy
shorts; white sneakers,caps and matching vests. I made snacks for the school kids then we left safika
sekhona she took one child as we hugged,a waitress brought me the child feeder chairs for the kids.
We ordered sancokola

Her:"aw'semhle mani,I've never imagined you in these clothes"

Me:"enkosi"
Her:"so tell me,uzoba lapha for how long"?
Me:"one more month then I change these clothes ndibuyele eBhayi"
Her:"are you still working"?
Me:"no,internship iphele ngoku ndilapha"
Her:"yho uzokwenza njan kengoku"?
Me:"I'll see what to do xase ndiphaya wethu"
Her:"well if you need anything don't hesitate to call me,ningade nilale ngamanzi"
Me:"thank you,but ukhona noko uNtando asinode silale ngamanzi"
Her:"o haike"

We spent close to two hours with her then we went back home safika bengeka buyi abanye,I put
these two to bed for their midday nap then I rested... And called my king. It took a couple of rings
before he picked up

Him:"hello"?

He sounded sleepy :'(

Me:"were you sleeping"?

Him:"napping,wassup"?
Me:"nothing...I just have nothing else to do"
Him:"ooh so ndizok'chitisa isyalu mna"?
Me:"maybe"
Him:"unfortunately for you I have a meeting to go to"
Me:"but uvuswe ndim nje baby"
Him:"just a minute before my alarm though"
Me:"yaphosisa Ntando kodwa"
Him:"I have to go neh,I'll call you again obuya kwam"
Me:"mmh"

He hung up on me ndash'yeka ndijonge iphone, I closed my eyes for a sec before my phone rang

Me:"mmh"
Him:"don't tell me uyalala"
Me:"you don't wanna talk to me kalok"
Him:"uyalila kengok"?
Me:"ufuna nd'lile wena"?
Him:"babe man,mas'ncokole ke"
Me:"what about your meeting"?
Him:"I was pulling your leg,I have no meeting to go to"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"so tell daddy how was your day"?
Me:"it was actually interesting,we had lunch with aunty Faith"
Him:"mama ka Titus"?
Me:"yep,the one and only"
Him:"wow,that's progress nje baby. How was it? Did you enjoy yourself"?
Me:"as suprised as I am,I did enjoy it"
Him:"I'm proud of you"
Me:"I'm proud of myself too,I guess I have nothing to loose ngom'nika a chance"
Him:"yeah,just be careful with her"
Me:"I know,what were you up to"?
Him:"nothing...oko nd'hleli apha endlini"
Me:"kumnandi uba yi boss neh"
Him:"not when you have to leave your family and go on a life threatening job"
Me:"its the life you chose ntwana yam"
Him:"well it has its perks... Saw your new brother yesterday"
Me:"uthini"?
Him:"he dogded me thinking andimbonanga but I just pretended not to see him too"
Me:"that's so imature though"
Him:"I don't wanna start up trouble,but I am ready for him coz I know he will slip up eventually"
Me:"save me the details babe,I don't wanna know"
Him:"why am I even telling you nyhan? Where are the kids"?
Me:"twins are sleeping,aba badala are still at school"
Him:"umakhulu uth' uzokukhulula obuya kwakhe"
Me:"but she's only staying a week pha"
Him:"maybe two"
Me:"that still doesn't cover three months though"
Him:"uyak'cingela babe"
Me:"you didn't push her"?
Him:"push her? Haibo s'thandwa sam"
Me:"we both know umama eats from the palm of your hand Ntando"
He laughed

Me:"uhleka ntoni Ntando"?

Him:"don't let her hear you say that,uzand'moshela izinto"
Me:"haha yeses ungcolile babe"
Him:"I love you too,so lets make a deal"
Me:"ha.a I don't wanna make deals witchu,they normally backfire"
Him:"heee,khand'xelele ufumene omnye umyeni S'bongile"?
:p
Me:" iyellow bone mtshana"
Him:"babe andidlali"
Me:"heh,ndiyadlala mna"?
Him:"ndaw'za emonti ngoku mna ndimqhekeze ubuchopho lo yellow bone wakho angakholelwa"
Me:"ndizomfihla aw'soze umfumane"
Him:"I've never looked for anything and not find it"
Me:"there's a first time for everything"
Him:"okay... Can we move on from this"?
Me:"yeah,aw'baweli undipha imali mntu wam"?
Him:"uzakuyenzan' imali uhleli endlini babe"?
Me:"ndizoz'khupha na bantu bam,we get bored just sitting here doing the same thing day in and day
out"
Him:"ooh"
Me:"if aw'funi then I'll use my own,but you will have to pay me up tripled"
Him:"okay lemme get this right..you want to take your people out,with my money? If you use your
own money I will have to repay you three times the value you used"?
Me:"yassur"
Him:"you're starting to sound like an opportunist baby and I don't think I like that"
Me:"ouch"
Him:"I was just being honest though"
Me:"no I get you,we can forget I said anything. Uzoya nini ePE my car needs to go to servicing next
week Thursday"
Him:"I can get someone to take it for you"
Me:"hay ayizokwaz' intoba imoto yam iqhutywe ngomnye umtu besides you"
Him:"okay ke but I won't be here the whole of next week,sihamba nge weekend till the following
weekend"
Me:"kay,I'll take it xand'buyile ke"

I heard a hooter outside...moto yo Owe.

I got up and went to open the gate

Me:"I uhm,have to go now"

Him:"going somewhere"?
Me:"why do you ask"?
Him:"I just heard a hooter in your background"
Me:"oh that"
Him:"yes that. Ngu ban"?
Me:"yho u insecure wena maani u wes mvanje,yi moto yo Sino bra"
Him:"ooh,don't hang up I wanna speak to them"

Owe walked in k'qala

Owe:"afternoon sisi"
Me:"afternoon boy,ina. Your dad wanna speak to you"
He took the phone and sat down

Owe:"dad"?
Him:"junior,u njani"?
Owe:"I'm well dad how are you"
Him:"I'm good,I hear nifuna uyohlala eBhayi"
Owe:"siyabawela tata"
Him:"yintoni ingxaki"?
Owe:"there's no problem dad,we just wanna see you more often"
Him:"but I don't live in PE and you guys know that"
Owe:"usahlala eKapa na"?
Him:"ewe boy"
Owe:"ooh okay ke. We thought uhlala no sisi in PE"
Him:"mamela boy"
Owe:"ewe tata"
Him:"you guys must live with makhulu for now,you can always visit me or your mom whenever you
want. Okay"
Owe:"okay...ngo June ke s'cela uza kuwe eKapa"
Him:"no problem"

Sino walked in and listened...

Owe:"okay bye bye,nank' uSino"

He gave her the phone wahamba wayokhulula.

Her:"daddy"
Him:"baby girl,how are you"?
Her:"I am fine daddy,when are you coming back"
Him:"Ngo March,why do you ask mtanam"
Her:"I wanted to ask you something,but I think umama has told you already"
Him:"yeah and I've spoken to your brother about it"
Her:"oh...so I guess that means aw'vumanga ne tata"
Him:"for now no baby girl"
Her:"but we can still visit for holidays ne"?
Him:"anytime my love,I hope you're not upset with daddy"
Her:"no I'm not relax daddy,as long as uzobuya nyhani in March"
Him:"I promise my love"
Her:"okay ke bye bye"
Him:"bye bye,nika umamakho i phone"

She gave me the phone and went to their room

Me:"mntu wam"
Him:"I love you"
Me:"love you more"
Him:"will call you later"
Me:"I'll be waiting babe"

We hung up.

#343
Later on that day I decided to drive and went to buy a kfc barrel,I wasn't gonna cook noba akekho
umama noko. On my way out of kfc I got a bank notification of R5000 deposit from Ntando I sent it
back to him,xand'fika endlini waphinda way'thumela nam ndaphinda nday'thumela back to him. He
said I sounded like an opportunist,hello? I'm his wife so kucacile ba andizocela nto kuye mos without
sounding like an opportunist. Or yindlela endiy'cele ngayo? Eintlik,I didn't care one bit. I walked into
the house then he called...

Me:"babe"
Him:"I tried sending you money it doesn't go through"
Me:"oh hay man,iyafika I just send it back to you"
Him:"haibo,why would you do that"?
Me:"because baby,I realized I can still take care of myself"
Him:"okay,I don't get you right now"
Me:"it don't matter wethu baby"
Him:"if it don't matter then I'm sending it again"
Me:"baby don't. Okay? Sesi grand so really akho need"
Him:"but ubuyicelile lemali nje S'bongile why ungayifuni ngoku? Or ubudlala ngam?"
Me:"bendingadlali ngawe myenam qha bendikudlalisa... Lonto ufun' udliwa"
Him:"aliqheleki el'gama lakho litsha kalok"

And just like that I changed the subject... Sancokola nje for a while then we hung up. I divided the
meat among all of the kids and kept mine in the oven,I wasn't hungry. They ate,went to bath and
went to bed. I sat in the lounge after I collected their books and toys ndafounela u Soso,I really
missed him

Him:"bheyibhi wam aw'nqabe yinton' kangaka"

Me:"I can see undilahlile shame"
Him:"hay don't get emotional on me,yinton? Uyaqhitswa emzini? Khona what name did they give
you? Oh gracious good Lord I hope they didn't take you to the 70's tu"
Me:"I am great thank you Soso how are you"?

He chucked and calmed down :) even his voice was low this time

Him:"ndi right mtase unjan' wena"?

Me:"sendikuxelele, how's work"?
Him:"work is work babe,how's everything with you? Are you still working"?
Me:"no,internship ended ndisemendweni so andiqeshwanga elohlobo pha"
Him:"I'm sorry to hear that,I know how much you want your financial independance"
Me:"yeah well,it will probably take a while but I will definitely get there"
Him:"why don't you start a business"?
Me:"bend'cinga ngalonto mtasekhaya and I have business proposals and plans already conducted"
Him:"qha ubanjwe yintoni kengok? Worse its still the begining of the year"
Me:"the money I have saved up won't be enough for either one of these businesses I have in mind
and I initially wanted my husband to fund me,but I no longer think that's a good idea"
Him:"well if thats what you think then I could lend you a couple of thousands uyaz'ba you will refund
me when the business is steady"
Me:"hay mtase"
Him:"do you have a better plan ke"?
Me:"not yet,but I'm sure something will come up"
Him:"okay,I'm giving you one week to think about my offer. After that I'm sending you the money
uy'funa ungayifuni"
Me:"okay Lwandiso"
Him:"I love you mtase and I don't want you to do anything that will make you compromise"
Me:"I know,thank you. Just for being real with me"
Him:"I'm always here for you"
Me:"thank you hey,and I really have to go for now"
Him:"alright mtase"

We hung up
I went upstairs and ran myself a bath,if bendikwam I'd be pouring myself a glass of wine but ke I
wasn't in my own place and there wasn't even a glinch of alcohol in this house. After bathing I went
to bed ndazama ulala though my mind was flooded with thoughts but I eventually fell asleep.

...

Eight days later wabuya umama,a lil ceremony/ritual was made ukunditshintsha impahla neqhiya
infact then I prepared to return back to PE. Good thing I was permitted to wear anything I wanted to
wear as long as it wouldn't defy me or show any form of disrespect to my husband and inlaws... Well
I particularly knew ii bumshorts zi out this time around but I knew I'll find my way around cropped
tops. Well bendingazizelanga e Monti so there was noway bendizoz'hambela ngemali yam,I called
him once everything was done and setted

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"tatakhe,unjani"
Him:"ndi grand babe ninjan nina"
Me:"we're good,babe nd'cela uthethe no Mo azos'thatha"
Him:"you guys are going back already"?
Me:"what do you mean 'already' kunini silapha fondini"
Him:"besend'xela nje,nifuna uhamba nini kengoku"
Me:"hey uyand'bhida ndoda mvanje...sifuna uhamba namhlanje"
Him:"haibo ndenzeni ngoku"?
Me:"can he come"?
Him:"I'll call him just now"
Me:"thanks"

I was about to hang up...

Him:"babe uqumbele ntoni ngoku"?

Me:"who said I'm upset na Ntando"?
Him:"your tone and choice of words"
Me:"I am not upset ke,just call Mo azos'thatha neh"
Him:"I will,qha and'funi ibengath' andikuhoyanga kuba use khaya"
Me:"okay sho"
Him:"pls call me when you reach PE,I need to talk to you kak'hle"
Me:"kay"
Him:"alright sharp"

I hung up and made sure all our things were packed,Sino walked into my room and sat on my bed. I
only joined her when I was done with everything...
Her:"nihamba namhlanje"?
Me:"ewe love"
Her:"I wish I could go with you yaz mama"
Me:"I know baby,but you know you can visit anytime"
Her:"yeah...but it won't be the same after you leave"
Me:"how so? I thought nihleli kamnandi no makhulu nje"
Her:"sihleli kamnandi,kalok the house will be quieter now. And we won't come back from school to
see our brothers like we've come to get used to"
Me:"I'm sorry baby,come here"

We hugged intensely but I wasn't about to change my mind andihambi nabo and thats that. After
that we went downstairs I went to pour us juices then sahlala e lounge no makhulu who noticed that
her granddaughter was actually upset

Her:"uthen' na mantombi wakhathazeka kangaka"?

Sino:"andina nanto makhulu"
Her:"Sinothando"

She took a sip from her juice

Sino:"I wanted to go to PE no mama qha udaddy akafuni makhulu"

Her:"daddy will be here next month and you can always visit them on holidays nje sisi"
Sino:"that's what daddy said too"
Her:"you see? There's no need to be upset now"

She nod and downed her juice waphuma wasishiya. Umama wand'jonga encumile

Her:"don't mind her,she'll be fine"

Me:"I'm actually worried now,she seemed understanding when she was speaking to her dad about
this"
Her:"she's just a child,she'll get over it"

I kept quiet and drank my juice... I waited and waited uMo only sent a text in the afternoon ba
ukhona I should head to theairport. I was driven to the airport ngomnye wo driver that Ntando
assigned to keep an eye on his family. The guy drove us to the airport,we boarded and flew back
home yho I felt so free just being back into my own space but my kids were tired balele from the
airport to the house. I ran myself a warm bubble bath,poured myself a glass of red wine then I took
my phone to the bathroom and called Ntando while soaking myself in

Him:"hey"
Me:"sifikile"
Him:"good,ndiyeza I hope you don't already have plans I want to take you guys out"
Me:"uyaphi? Khaw'goduke Your kids miss you eMonti fondini"
Him:"I told them I'll be there next month,ngoku nd'funa ukuza kuwe"
Me:"mmh kay"
Him:"we'll talk later then"
Me:"sharp"

We hung up
I drank my wine,I don't know maybe it was distance and time but I suddenly saw myself touching my
body in the most sensitive areas dragging myself into an orgasmic collision. In my head my
hands,fingers were his lips. I missed having him around... I missed having him in my arms,in my
bed,in my everything. I drained the water and got dressed in a maxi dress and slippers,took my
laptop and went to work on my proposals just one last time. After that I just napped at the patio coz
it was cooler there and I could just feel the sea breeze.

...

Ubabalo woke up and came looking for me he's not the crying nor loud type and I'm sure he must
have searched the entire house before coming into this room

Him:"mamam"
Me:"mtanam,izapha"

He walked up to me ndamfunqula and put him on my thighs while lying on my back

Him:"Mama Uba food"

Me:"first tell mommy you love her"
Him:"Uba yav mama Uba"
Me:"mommy loves Uba too much"
Him:"apuya tata Uba"
Me:"yep,daddy is coming back home today"

He took my phone and gave me,I dialed his dad

Him:"wifey"
Me:"Ubabalo wants to speak to you"
Him:"yho babe I can't, ndisendleleni"
Me:"mxelele ngokwakho,uzokhala kum"
Him:"bu-"

I gave Uba the phone ndambona encuma when he heard his dad's voice. I left him there and went to
check on his brother who was still fast asleep then I went to make him food... We needed to buy
groceries yet Ntando had not deposited his monthly installation for the kids since December,I have
never asked for lemali he offered and I had gotten used to it coz ibindinceda here and there,I told
myself andizothetha and I won't buy food ngeyam imali now that he is coming here we will buy food
using his own money. I came back Uba was still laughing with the phone,decided not to disturb them
ndamlinda wagqiba then I fed him andabisajonga ne phone if utatakhd had hung up or what. When
he was done I went to make for Uve ndayomvusa,fed him then we played.

Past five I saw a car parking in the driveway wohlika with a sportsbag -_- I knew uzohlala for a
while maybe until he goes to EL. The front door was open and Uve was now on the stoop watching
his brother playing in the garden. I heard him screaming and running towards his dad,followed by his
twin bangena ebafunqule bobabini.

Uve:"mama,tata apuya"
Him:"hey"

He put them down and kissed my cheek.

Me:"hey"

Damn!
Everytime he comes back it looks like his muscles are becoming bigger. Makes ones mind think of all
things dirty :p .
344

Him:"baby you need to do your hair...how've you been though"?

Me:"si grand,how have you been"?
Him:"been missing yall"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"sooo,can you dress the kids sihambeni"
Me:"kuyiwaph' so late though"?
Him:"I doubt ikhona i grocery apha,unless ubuye way'thenga ngokwakho ke"
Me:"and'bawel'kuya ndawo mna why not take your sons uhambe nabo?"
Him:"heh haikengok,utheni na"?
Me:"like I said, I don't feel like going anywhere today"
Him:"okay,so sizotya ntoni for supper"?
Me:"I'm not hungry"
Him:"well I am"
Me:"either uzayozithengela itake-away or you go buy groceries,undikhuphe mna apho"
Him:"heh,hamba S'bongile"

I got up and went to the bedroom,ndakhulula and wore pj's and got in bed. I faced the other
way,heard him coming in wath' 'mxim' waphinda waphuma then I vaguely heard a car leaving the
yard. Ndalala mna,didn't even hear him come back but when I woke up midnight he was busy on my
laptop,I went to the bathroom ndabuya ese busy

Me:"what are doing eb'suku"

He ignored me and continued what he was doing,I sat in bed and rubbed my eyes. The only light in
the room being that of the laptop

Me:"Ntando"
Him:"hm"
Me:"wenzani"?
Him:"go back to sleep"

Tchin lendoda :o his voice was stern and tense.

Me:"baby what are you doing with my laptop at night?"

Him:"I'm busy"
Me:"you're busy? Doing what? How did you even unlock it"?

He ignored me once again I got up and went to look at what exactly was he doing,ndafika egqibezela
a tracker installation :o I cancelled it seyiku 89% loading wand'jamela

Him:"wenzantoni"?
Me:"u installer i tracker kwi laptop ka bani"?
Him:"do you know long I've been working on that"?
Me:"I don't care,if its important install it kweyakho mtak'za"

I snatched my laptop from him ndayolala nayo

Him:"Yinton' ingxaki yakho S'bongile"?

Me:"nguban othe ndinengxaki"?
Him:"oko nd'fikile i attitude yakho iyanuka,uthen' ufumene indoda entsha ngoku ungu makoti"?
Me:"caba umntu onendoda entsha une attitude enukayo"
Him:"igezisa kanobom indoda entsha,or aw'yaz' lonto wena"
Me:"inoba ndingumarhosha ungatsho nje"
Him:"then what the fuck is your problem?"
Me:"I said I aint got no fucken problem,now please leave me alone"
Him:"don't raise your voice at me"
Me:"nd'bone kuwe"
Him:"unengxaki ne... And uzay'thetha"
"
I didn't answer him,he started pulling the blankets roughly. Tyhini mntu wakulo Moses ndaphakama
and pulled it towards me haike mtrinity satsalana ke and we were both getting angrier ndiyabona ba
besekuphele nesosinquntu sekhandlela kwi ngelosi yel'khaya;we continued this ish until I let go of
the blanket and unintentionally pushed him off the bed... Waphakama wand'jonga. Truth is,I was
scared AF kengok,I was shaking in my boots! We were both on opposite sides of the bed...

Him:"so you wanna fight me now huh? Udinwe kukundi delela uqond'ba mawukhe undive amandla
mnkam"?
Me:"but babe that was unintentional... Ndiyaxolisa"
Him:"hm,and I've noticed kudala ufuna und'bona qha andide ndikunike lento uy'funayo"

He threw the blanket on the bed,still keeping an intenseteye contact. The moment I realise
ndiyamoyika I remembered the day he almost strangled me ndajonga umnyango wabe ukude
kum,ukwelicala ame kulo. He must have read my mind coz healso looked at the door and laughed as
he looked at me and put his hands in his pockets. He was half naked,just in jeans and secret socks

Me:"nd'cela ulala torho"

Him:"uzolala right after we wrap this up,what is your problem"?

I took a deep breath in...

Me:"you called me an opportunist,andiy'thandanga lonto. You now very well azange ndakucela mali
yet the only time endiy'cele ngayo I'm suddenly an opportunist. Secondly I know you and Anelisa
have been having secrete meetings eKapa nayo leyo andiy'thandi it makes me very uncomfortable.
There you have it now can I sleep"?
Him:"so lemme get this straight,everytime you feel uncomfortable with the people I have meetings
with sizokwenza lento"?
Me:"no babe get this straight ,everytime you have secret meetings with any of your exes sizobane
ngxaki. Enkulu futhi"
Him:"ikhona ineed though? You could have just told me how you felt singabe sisenza obu bubhanxa
man"

I just got in bed...andizokoyikana no Ntando kwam mna. I pulled the blanket up ndazama uphinda
ndilale

Him:"so yilonto le ikwenza ufune i capital for starting your business ku Titus ndikhona?"
Me:"how the hell did you know about that? You know what,don't answer that. And yes,atleast Soso
understands where I'm coming from ontop of that he doesn't need me to draw up business plans
and proposal because he trusts me"
Him:"and you reckon I don't"
Me:"tracker? If you trusted me do you think ubunode ungalali trying to crack my code and the install
a tracker in my laptop"?
Him:"udibanisa izinto ezingadibaniyo kengok"
Me:"baby nd'cela ulala"
Him:"lala S'bongile"

I pulled the blanket over my head ndalala. He took a duvet cover and went to sleep e guest room.
In the morning I was woken up by a call from a private number,I had a little hesitance but ended up
taking the call...

Me:"private hello"
Her:"heh Sibongile Trinalique Smith,umthetho lo wakho uzibona uyi queen neh"?

I looked at the screen confused

Me:"nd'thetha nabani"
Her:"tshin mxm,uqale nini ungandazi"
Me:"Chuma. Yinton ngxaki?"
Her:"akho ngxaki marara,but very soon you will see for yourself"
Me:"you're speaking in parables Chuma"

She hung up,I went to bath ndayophekela abantwana bam i oats. Ntando came downstairs with
them,ndamphakela and served him then ndapholisela abantwana and went to feed them.
Xand'gqiba,Ntando put his bank card on the coffee table

Him:"wenze uhambe uyothenga ukutya"

Me:"mna"?

Wand'jonga
I collected the bowls and went to wash them,went upstairs and bathed then ndahamba ndayothatha
ela card,kissed him and my sons then I left them. I also wanted to service my car but today was not a
good day coz ndingahlala pha half the day phinde ibe yenyinto leyo. I drove my car out,went to fill it
up then I went to Greenacres.
I bought everything we usually need then when I was done with food I took my own card and went
to withdraw some cash,you know I could have just went into a shop and swiped? But something told
me to go to an ATM xand'fika mali yam ay'phumi but ikhona. I went inside the bank kwathwa my
money has been frozen xand'buza nguban' ayaziwa so I asked them to unfreeze it they said they're
working on it. I knew ngu myeni wam lo wenze lento no doubt :v I saw this as his way to humble
me. Well now I had no option but to call him coz I needed a few clothing items and they were on
special,I called him:

Him:"hm"?
Me:"babe nd'cela uthenga a couple of clothes,bekuthwe I can't wear ezi bendiz'nxiba ndiyintombi
impahla"
Him:"kay"
Me:"enkosi"

I hung up and walked into Foschini

Then I felt my phone vibrating,I took it out :/ Ntando? Lol ndoyika

Me:"babe"?
Him:"und'phathele ii toiletries"
Me:"okay,anything else"?
Him:"ha.a"
Me:"sharp"

He hung up,I continued with my business and went to buy his toiletries then I headed back to my
car. As I was packing the bags into my car,I heard someone calling my name ndabheka

Me:"Anelisa"?
Her:"hey,aw'semhle. Congratulations"
Me:"erh...thank you. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Cape town"
Her:"Ooh,I came here to see you"
Me:"see me? How did you know I'll be here today"?
Her:"no man not like that,nd'fike izolo. I thought Ntando would have told you by now"
Me:"Ntando? Wait...ufike naye izolo"?
Her:"ewe,but I slept e Garden Court kuba ebesith' ufuna uqale athethe nawe alone then namhlanje
ke ndize"
Me:"okay... Is there something wrong that I should know about"?
Her:"erh no nothing is wrong"
Me:"okay...I uhm, I have to go it was nice seeing you"
Her:"you going straight home"?
Me:"yes"
Her:"andino hamba nawe? Bend'hleli ndizoya kwakho anyway"
Me:"oh okay,mas'hambe ke"

She got into the car,back passenger seat. Sahamba. Oko nd'thule mna,thinking. I drove into my
driveway,weather yase bhayi was changing :'(there was this cold breeze and soft drizzles. She
helped me with the shopping bags sangena endlini...the house was a bit quiet except for i sound ye
TV in the lowest of volumes,knowing them I concluded ba baphinde balala. I took my bags and his
toiletries then we went to the lounge ndafika bebukele i movie

Me:"mommy is back"
Uba:"mamam Uba"

I kissed him,Anelisa greeted and sat down,I went to kiss Uve on the other couch ndagqibela ngo
daddy then I went to put the bags in our bedroom,changed shoes and went to the kitchen ndidlula
bencokola aba babini. I packed the groceries into the cupboards ndazenzela i fruit smoothie,took a
tray and took drinks and cookies to the lounge for Ntando and his baby momma. Xand'phindela e
kitchen wand'biza ndamjonga

Him:"aw'kazogqiba u unpack'er"?
Me:"I'm done qha bend'cinga ukwenza ilunch"
Him:"that can wait, pls sit down Anelisa has something to tell us"
Me:"oh"

I went to sit next to Uvelile with my smoothie coz he was alone in his couch.

Him:"Anelisa"
Her:"okay,uhm... Sibo,besendidibene no Ntando ndathetha naye about this but he prefered ba size
nakuwe since you also played a big role in my childs life"
Me:"played"?
Him:"still playing"
Me:"ooh"
Her:"anyway,I'm going to the US and I've decided to take Sino with"
Me:"ooh"
Her:"ooh? Thats all you're going to say"?
Me:"what am I supposed to say na"?
Her:"I don't know,but aleast a demonstration of interest would do"
Me:"why does it matter what I say when you've already decided"?
Him:"I actually don't want any of my children living in another country,especially not overseas"
Me:"so u ucinga uthini?"
Him:"I want us to adopt her"
Her:"I don't like the idea one bit coz nam ndiyafuna ukhendibene bond naye,but it will give me some
sort of solidarity knowing ndimshiya in a stable home"
Me:"ooh"

Bajongana...
I really didn't know what to say. I was surprised okay.

#345

Her:"if you guys decide to adopt her then kuzofuneka ahlale nani full time. I know uhleli kakuhle no
makhulu but I would like her to experience the love of both parents"
Me:"so sizoxelelwa nguwe how to live our lives? What do you even know about both parents love
seeing that you abandoned her first"
Her:"with all due respect you don't get to throw my past up into my face,I made a mistake that I
regret but that doesn't give you the right to think that I never loved her. Ngumntwana wam
uSinothando lonto asoze ijike"

Lol oh-kay.
Here I was,caught between this drama :v knowing fully well that I don't wanna live with any other
child beside my own but I couldn't deny my husband the opportunity or possibility of having his child
here indefinitely. I could be the only legal channel for him to keep her here coz I knew very well that
akasoze axakwe kugcina u Sino here...

Her:"so guys what will it be"?

My eyes moved from her to Ntando,I just took my smoothie ndasela

Him:"Luthando"?
Me:"babe"?
Him:"what do you say"?
Me:"uhm...I don't know guys."
Him:"do you wanna think 'bout it atleast"?
Me:"yes"

He looked at Anelisa,she nod

Me:"if we're done can I be excused"?

Him:"sure"
Me:"Anelisa,uzohlala for lunch"?
Her:"well I have nothing else to do and flight yam is in the afternoon...that's if you guys don't mind"
I looked at Ntando,he didn't seem to mind.
I got up and went to the kitchen,I started with grilled chicken and veg kebabs only coz my kids loved
veggies and I just missed being creative in my own kitchen. While the kebabs were grilling I decided
to clean my fridge. I removed everything that was inside,cleaned it thoroughly and returned
everything back to its place then I chopped fruit into its bowl,refridgerated it. I took out the different
meat and divided it into portions for daily usage... Ntando walked in xand'khupha eza kebs

Him:"u grand"?

I looked up and nod with a smile

Me:"here,I forgot your bank card. Thank you"
Him:"keep it,you still need to do your hair"
Me:"enkosi"

I made green veggie salad just for the side

Him:"bendizok'xelela izolo"
Me:"intoni"?
Him:"lento ka Sino"
Me:"its okay"

He went outside and came back

Him:"you didn't service your car ne sticker sakho siphelelwe"

Me:"I can still go during the week babe"

I don't know why but I felt like he kinda felt guilty about all of this which he should,I stopped what I
was doing and went to him

Me:"hey"
He turned around,I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him

Me:"I'm sorry 'bout izolo"

He was about to answer when I kissed him again,I didn't want him to say anything right now coz I felt
guilty enough already. After kissing him we hugged for a moment then ndasuka and went back to
preparing the lunch

Him:"I'll be upstairs with the kids,khange sivase"

Me:"be quick,I'm almost done here"
Him:"sharp"

He kissed my cheek and went to take his kids bayovasa. When I was done I poured cereal into its
glass containers ndaqoqosha... Anelisa came down

Her:"need any help"?

Me:"I'm done thanks,we can return to the lounge"

We followed each other to the lounge... I wanted to have a woman to woman talk with her

Me:"so,uya e Melika"
Her:"yes,my dad just came back after a long time of absence and gave me money to go study at
Oxford"
Me:"your dad? Where was he"?
Her:"prison,I still don't know how he has so much money in such a small space after his release"

I guess she still had no idea that we're sisters.

Me:"mh...so tell me,honestly woman to woman now."
Her:"yeah"
Me:"you are the same person who warned me against trusting exes so pls enlighten me,what game
are you playing at right now"?

She fringed her brows taken back

Her:" I don't think I understand what you are insinuating kengoku"

Me:"I know you met up with Ntando in CT couple of times this week before flying with him here..."
Her:"its not my fault you don't trust indodakho nontombi"
Me:"oh I trust him enough to know that there's more to this than what I'm being told and you
Anelisa,are as cunning as they come"

She took a deep breath

Me:"not so long ago he couldn't stand you,when you wanted anything regarding your daughter I had
to be the middle man ngoku nidibana behind my back?"
Her:"look I don't mean to stir trouble,I just want whats best for my daughter"
Me:"what's best for your daughter you say? mmkay,then you better be prepared coz if we do decide
to adopt her asizohlala naye kuba kusitsho wena. Uzohlala kulandawo akuyo just like Owe
akazofumana special treatment apha"
Her:"haike ay'zokwenzeka lonto"
Me:"izokwenzeka babe and uzozivela nawe since you won't be here to see it"
Her:"but why did you pretend you love those children? Ooh I see now,you wanted to get married
ngabo coz you know Ntando loves his kids"
Me:"honey I don't pretend,which is why I'm letting you know that even if we do opt to adopt
her,nothing is going to change. Uqale nini ungamazi uNtando ba uhlala eKapa ngoku? Or kuba
ujongele phantsi landawo ahlala kuyo and ufuna umntanakho azohla apha uzenza muncu "
Her:"haike that means I'm leaving with her"
Me:"we both know that's just a pipe dream and besides we will have to wait and here from the
person in question"
Her:"I'm her mother Trina,its a given ba uzokhetha mna"
Me:"I'm not disputing that you are her mother,all I'm saying is lets wait and hear from her"
Her:"utheni na waske wa vicious mvanje"?
Me:"you wanna know vicious? Keep up with these stupid tricks of yours you will know what that
word means and believe me,Ntando will NOT protect you but into eyokunceda would be to team up
with Chuma atleast she has a score to settle with me. Oh and ask her what vicious means when
refering to me uzakucacisela kakuhle. I will not be dictated to by you darling,uyophelela pha ku
Ntando"

Ntando came back nabantwana bakhe,smelling fresh

Me:"that's my cue to bring lunch, Nelisa, what are your preferances kwi drink babe"?

For a second she seemed a bit taken back,I saw her swallow hard before answering

Her:"do you perhaps have any citrus juice"?

Me:"coming right up"

I went downstairs,returned with the lunch then I went upstairs ndayothatha a shawl to lay on the
floor for my kids then I put them down batya. For a few seconds there was tension in the lounge but
it soon died out sancokolani.
Her:"thank you guys but I have to get going now"
Me:"thank you for stopping by sweetie"
Her:"I guess I will await your call ngalento besithetha ngayo"
Him:"sure"

She left,I started collecting the plates ndaz'vasa nd'thule. When I was done I went upstairs
ndangqenda pha,I needed to think clearly ngayo yonke lento. After a few minutes I felt them coming
into the room,one of the boys crawled onto my back and lay his head. I let him be,Ntando sat down

Him:"baby"
Me:"mh"
Him:"can we talk"?

I slowly turned ndathatha u Uve and put him next to me

Me:"bout what"?
Him:"leway iza no Anelisa"
Me:"that...I'm curious yaz,tell me niqale nini uvana ngoku"?
Him:"its not like we're friends, she said she wanted us to talk so I just gave her a chance
ndam'mamela"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"you know I'd hate to have any of my children live oceans apart, that's why I think we should
adopt her"
Me:"I understand"
Him:"but"?
Me:"babe...don't get me wrong okay,I love your kids very much. But I don't want to live with them
yet,I have enough burden ngaba babini I can't add more and then on top of that we can't bring in
abantwana aba bhadlileyo when we have constant fights just like last night emva kwayo yonke lonto
you will just up and leave and return to Cape Town like nothing happened"
Him:"but its not like we fight everyday"
Me:"true,but still I need time to work on my marriage,our marriage without the pressure of having
to look after four children. Already it feels like we've been married for a decade"
Him:"so what do we do now"
Me:"we adopt her if that's what you want,but she continues living with your mom"
Him:"umvile u Anelisa utheni"
Me:"since when do you play by the rules? Infact since when does what she says matter"?

He kept quiet...

Me:"I'm sorry babe but I'm not about to let your ex dictate my household,if she wanna dictate to
you and you allow her fine,but count me out of it. I'm not having that ish in my house".
Him:"ndiyakuva"
Me:"okay"

I lay on my back,he was on his back with Uba on his chest.

Him:"I miss you yaz"

Me:"I'm right here"
Him:"aw'kamdingi u Fats"?
Me:"not until I find property for my business"
Him:"ooh that,I found indawo but bendsafuna uyoy'jonga ngokwam"
Me:"mmh...so when are you going to unfreeze my account"
Him:"what account"?
Me:"are we gonna play dumb now"?
Him:"I really don't know what you're talking about babe"
Me:"mmh"

I just decided to not argue anymore with this gangsta man of mine otherwise we'll start all over
again with these nonsensical fight we seem to be embracing whenever we are supposed to be in a
good space.

346

We just lay there conscious of each others presence but not communicating anything verbally then
after a couple more minutes of silence I decided to tell him nge call ka Chuma.

Me:"you know,maybe I'm being paranoid but today has just been odd"
Him:"how so"?
Me:"first I get a call from Chuma,then Anelisa arrives here,on top of that my account is frozen and
uthi ayinguwe who froze it"
Him:"ebefuna ntoni uChuma kuwe kengok"?
Me:"I don't know...she was speaking in parables"
Him:"naye ufuna u Owentando"
Me:"are they together in this"?
Him:"yeah... Phof I think so"
Me:"you better be a step ahead, you don't want them working against you at the same time"

Wathula...

Me:"is she back"?

Him:"yes"
Me:"how long have you known"
Him:"doesn't matter"
Me:"kay"

Like...okay nyhani. After some time of thinking I got off the bed,took my phones and left him with his
sons.

Him:"uyaphi kengoku"?
Me:"I need a drive"

He put his sleeping son next to his twin and came following behind me,he caught my arm on the
passage

Me:"Baby pls,I'll be back after a few minutes I just need some air"
Him:"we have enough air for both of us right here"
Me:"Ntando pls now"
Him:"ha.a Luthando ha.a,I'm not going to let you do this again. Next thing uzofuna a break? Okay ke
Tell me,which relationship doesn't have fights,arguments and disagreements? Why ungavumi babe
ukhula? Or ubungayazi uba kuzobanzima kanje ukhula"?
Me:"so uth' and'khuli lilonke"?

His silence said it all I wanted to leave but I was pinned to the wall,I looked aside avoiding to look at
his eyes. He let go of my arm,turned my face back to face him
Him:"you know you don't have to put up this strong façade for me,ndiyakwazi and I know something
is bothering you"
Me:"I'm scared,these people are out for vengeance. What else could explain yonke lento
yenzekayo"?
Him:"do not even go there intsha le yoo Chuma, you are the problem here. Fondin this is reality,we
don't live in fairytales apha. This is not meant to offend you okay? But you have stop thinking like a
teenager and adapt into the mother and wife you are"

Ndaginya ingwiqi :'( I swore if he said anything else I'd cry.

He kissed me,the minute I closed my eyes I felt warm fluids flooding out of the corners of my eyes.
His tongue pierced through my tightly closed lips,his hands slid down my sides. I had sudden
hiccups,released a soft cry as he bit my bottom lip and pulled back a bit before resuming back to the
actual kissing. We kissed for a few seconds before I pulled back and took a deep breath,my hand
shaking on his breastplate

Me:"pls...stop"
Him:"what is it"?
Me:"I... I just,I don't know... I think I'm overwhelmed"
Him:"then don't push me away,we're in this together remember."
Me:"we both know I've never had good reaction to secrets, especially when I feel intimidated or
when I feel like my territory is threatened"
Him:"you just tend to overreact okay,I came here to tell you everything. The least you could have
done izolo was wait for me,ubone ba andizok'xelela na instead of ba ndifike sew'ngekho kwa kwi
mood yam kodwa sigqibelene k'dala"
Me:"okay there I admit I was wrong. I wasn't thinking straight,I was upset"
Him:"the sooner you learn to use 'we','our' and 'us' in your sentences the better progress we will
have"
Me:"yho hay pheza kalok ngoku ndikuvile"
Him:"good, now how about we forget everything and shift the focus back to us... Believe me I know
how much you hate not being in control but just for today,let me be in control,let me worry about
your safety and everything else that you're worrying yourself about,but most importantly just let me
be the man here,in this house and in this relationship"
Me:"bu-"
I bit my tongue ndizomphendula,he raised an eyebrow in question I just shook my head and got out
of his embrace... I scooped icecream for myself in silence,took it to the lounge and cleaned myself up
before I indulged. He came to sit next to me

Him:"do you regret getting into lomtshato"?

Me:"no...no babe,why would you even think that"?
Him:"I just need to know if we're still on the same page"
Me:"I know this will sound like a cliché but ndiyakuthanda like for real and I'm still saying I cannot
imagine life without you even if I only get to see you after three to four months,and yes I might be a
bit unstable right now or maybe I'm always unstable I don't know but I don't regret being your wife.
Not one bit. Do you regret marrying me? And be honest pls"
Him:"no I don't,uyayaz' nawe ndikuthanda sewugeza wagqithisela..but we seem to be moving at a
snails pace. We're actually going in circles babe"

I nod
Me:"uyayaz' apho ikhoyo ingxaki babe? And don't get me wrong,I'm not trying to shift blame to
anyone"
Him:"we both know iproblem isengu tatakho nangoku and if uyamvumela then usezoba yi
problem,ndisatsho ba you need to release him,forgive him coz i anger yakho towards him
uy'khuphela kum ngoku and that is going to ruin us if it continues. I can't take a fall for him all the
time coz ngoku ndiyabona ba every small misunderstanding turns into an unneccessary fight,ibekanti
sibafundisa ntoni abantwana? Their minds capture everything even if they'll only vaguely remember
it but izobakhona la memory of their fighting parents and they won't remember mommy being on
the wrong,the fault will be on daddy as usual"

Ndathula mna... :'(

Him:"Nalique"?
Me:"hm"
Him:"siyakhula,sizele,we can't keep taking two steps forward and four back. If not for us then for our
children,we have to move forward. We just got married,we're supposed to be enjoying this time as
newly weds coz its still our honeymoon phase. Umncinci,you should be enjoying this time the most. I
know very well how much you want your independance though I would still gladly support you and
our kids. Speaking of that,when I said ingath' uyi opportunist I thought you'd stand your ground as
my wife because it is your right to ask money from me irregardless the reason and it is my duty as
your husband to ensure that you are financially secure,I was just testing you and I am sorry if you
took offence. That was not my intention."

Wakhe wamuncu?
I was dumbstruck,I always use icecream as my scapegoat but right now my bowl was empty and I
couldn't get up to go and refill it,bend'satyiwa ngamazwi ka hubby.

Him:"say something"
Me:"I'm sorry"

He removed the bowl from my hands and came closer...sometimes I doubt Ntando is a ganglord.
How can he be that and on the other hand abe this loving and understanding?

Him:"babe I don't want you to feel guilty,I know nam ndibe faulty for leaving you behind eMonti at
such a fragile time and I'm sorry for that. I won't blame work this time,I know now I could've sent
someone else on my behalf"

Heh andaz' noba bekusenzekani kum. I was just lost for words,everytime he spoke he baffled me
with every sentence and for a second I wanted to believe ndilaliswa uboya but then I figured that he
seemed sincere from the begining of this conversation.

Me:"I really don't deserve you"

Him:"no I don't deserve you, life ruined me already"
Me:"guess we're two ruined people trying to get this right as one person then"
Him:"I am here and I'm not going anywhere,I know the struggles of a single parent thats why I took
my kids to my mother ndimthembile engqeqeshweni they won't grow up with the mentality that
daddy has money but they will know daddy was seldom home coz he was making money for them to
have a better life. That's why ndifuna kwawena ungasokoleli nto,I still want to help you with capital
uziqalele your businesses nokuba zingaphi as long as izizinto that are close to your heart and once
you start generating enough revenue you can pay me back. I wouldn't make you a housewife even if
I wanted to"
A smile crept at the corners of my mouth...

Him:"I still wanna see my superwoman rocking either Js or louboutins and those skinny jeans
angaz'funiyo umakhulu,walking into a room full of men who are willing to listen to her command like
the bosslady she is. Baby I want us to build an empire,ilifa labantwana bethu and we can only do that
if we work together"
Me:"you amaze me you know"
Him:"ndenzeni"?
Me:"you just amaze me... I don't know how to explain it but..you do"
Him:"in a positive way I hope"

I let go of his hands and hugged him,sisamandelwe njalo his phone rang waphakama wayosabela in
another room. I took my bowl to the kitchen and went to sit by the pool at the back,I called Gudda
yangena ku voicemail I called Marcus way'bamba on the third ring

Him:"lil' sis"
Me:"hey how are you"
Him:"i'm okay,whats up? Marriage life getting to you already"?
Me:"haha! Wouldn't you like to know? Wait now that I'm married I'm not allowed to miss you"?
Him:"you got me there,how are the kids"?
Me:"they're growing,how's Liz"?
Him:"mxm,I don't know"
Me:"what do you mean you don't know? Aren't you two living together"?
Him:"I haven't been home much lately"
Me:"you mean you've been neglecting your son"?
Him:"not neglecting,I've been busy with work. You should know coz your husband has been with us
for some time too"
Me:"I hate this work of yours shame"
Him:"it brings in dollars though...anyway,when last did you speak to Eve"
Me:"its been a long time,I'll call her after I've called Luu"
Him:"when are you planning to visit me"?
Me:"when are you planning to inviting me boet"?

He cracked up wahleka

Him:"heeh! I'm inviting you now then"

Me:"I might just come with Ntando,but I'm not promising anything yet"
Him:"that's cool,don't leave the boys behind when you do come"
Me:"if I do come"
Him:"okay,I'll take that"
Me:"ayt...bye bye"
Him:"bye bye"

I hung up

Him:"If you do go where"?

I turned and saw Ntando walking barefoot

Me:"hah,beng'ngakhulumi nawe"
Him:"ngiyazi nje nami,couldn't help but overhear"
He sat down next to me

Me:"Marc wants me to visit em"

Him:"mmh,so what did you tell him"?
Me:"that I'll think about it"
Him:"okay..."
Me:"what would you like to have for dinner"?
Him:"you"
Me:"I come with dessert babe,now, what would you like to eat"
Him:"awonqeni upheka"?
Me:"I want to cook for you"
Him:"lets rather go out,you can cook any other day uqala ngomso"
Me:"mmkay,I think we should go inside abantwana bakho must be up "

He got up first,I extended my hand so he could pull me back up and that ended with a kiss. For a
minute I forgot about the kids...I was in the strong arms of the love of my life and it felt great.

347

He really pulled me close,I swear I could feel his heart beating like an African drum in tune with my
own;our tongues dancing to the beat like the young Zulu women during the umemulo and our souls
embracing this beautiful moment like tourist would admire the sacred Ndebele prints. It was
phenomenal... He was sooo calm and gentle,made me forget about all my issues and troubles just
for a second. You could take us as we were and put us at the center of a railway and we wouldn't
notice coz we were so deep into a world of our own that the actual word kinda vanished.
After that kiss ndasuka kuye with a smile of satisfaction then ndamshiya eme apho,he chuckled and
followed at a fair distance taking his time. When I got inside Uvelile was already starting to act up,he
must have been looking all over the house for us coz ongena kwam he dropped his Muscle Man
doll/statue and ran to me as tears were threatening his eyes

Him:"mama afuna itatam"!

Me:"uye-"

Just then Ntando walked in,waxhuma ngapha kwam u Uve sana waqala ek'qala nokulila oko. Ntando
took him wamthuthuzela and went to the lounge with him while I went to fetch his twin whom I
knew was also probably up qha uyaz'thanda umntanam xa ethanda. I took him down too then I went
back to my room,ran myself a bath while undressing then I bathed once again,took out clothes for
myself and my sons then I just sat on the edge of my bed thinking... The Chuma who's dad I
'mistakenly' killed,the very same Chuma I deliberately ran over with a car,the same Chuma whose
joints I poisoned while she was hospitalized is back in town or rather in the country and my beloved
husband didn't think of the importance of informing me earlier? The same Chuma who along with
Anelisa ochestrated against Ntando and almost burnt him down,the same Chuma who almost burnt
me down,succeded to kill my son... This woman is back ufuna umntanakhe,neh? Well I have no right
to stand in her way,but something wasn't adding up here. Why am I uneasy around this whole
situation? Why is Ntando chilled? Mxm, when is he never chilled though. He walked in xand'nxiba,I
wasn't even in the mood to go out,I had amanwele man about this whole thing.

Me:"uzovasa nabo babe"?

Him:"yebo yes mamakhe"
Me:"sho"
He undressed them and went to the bathroom with them,I wore beige Chinos,matching strappy stils
and white chiffon top. Combed my natural hair and neatly tied it into an upstyle bun then I applied
minimum make-up. Ntando came out nabantwana bakhe we helped each other with dressing them
sincokola njee. Then he got dressed,we got into my car and he drove us to this child friendly
restaurant for our family dinner date. We had starters then during our main course I excused
myself,I needed to go to the bathroom. I left my phone behind ndaya e bathroom..did my business
and came out of the cubicle to wash my hands only to find about six guys two of whom who had
guns pointed at me,for a second I was shocked and confused,I thought maybe I came into a wrong
restroom. I looked them and then back to the gender specification sign above the mirrors

Me:"eerh gents...wassup"?
1Guy:"Trina right? Lets make this as clean and as fast as possible,sizophuma nawe apha. One wrong
move,anything close to a scream you're dead"

I looked around...
Couldn't recognise any of them. Somehow I wasn't afraid or scared right then,I was just thinking
about my kids coz I just knew z'shubile ngoku... As I was still trying to figure out this situation they
grabbed my arm and dragged me out of that bathroom,through the backdoor,into a black Hummer
that was already waiting in motion and then with a blink of an eye we were out of the building. Once
we got into the car one of the guys ducktaped me xand'qala ubuza what's going on,that is actually
when I started to panic. We drove for a very long time,to a point I eventually felt drousily
sleepy...the drive was just too long and everyone in this car was just busy with tapping onto laptops
not making any verbal conversations atleast phone calls so that nam ndizoba ne clue of where
they're taking me . After hours and hours of driving,falling asleep for a minute and waking up the
next hoping that when I opened my eyes this will all be a dream,we reached our supposed
destination then I felt my arm pulled painfully as I was being dragged out of the car and led to a dim
lit old farmhouse I knew immediately that I'm in for some big shit. I had to either grow some spine
right away or be a puppet to these people. We walked in through a back door,walked through a
looong dark passage that led to near end room that was apparently my new "home". A very dark yet
spacious room that had three wooden bunk beds,a bucket,one pillow and blanket one each bed and
a candle next to each bed.

1Guy:"this is going to be your home for now,get yourself comfortable sweetie"

2Guy:"don't worry you won't be bored,by this time tomorrow you'll have two other housemates"

The other guy who ducktaped me removed the tape from my mouth forcefully then balandelelana
baphuma before I could utter a word and they locked me in there. I looked around,no painting no
window. There was absolutely nothing in this room besides the ones I had already mentioned. I sat
down trying to think of a strategy to get myself out of this bungalow but my mind was blocked yi
image yabantwana bam befuna unina wabo. Uzobathini uNtando yedwa? Akho no Fats to help
him,yena uzocing'ba ndiyephi khona? Especially xandizoshiya all my phones? That moment I realised
that I am just a mere mortal being,I am nothing as a matter of fact and I have nothing. No power or
control over my life. I remembered mom and dad pushing and nagging us to go to church,I never
knew there'd actually come a day when I would actually need Jesus' intervention like this day. I knelt
down for the first time after a long time and offered a prayer unto the Lord:

"In the name of the Father,the Son and Holy Spirit

I kneel down before your presence O God knowing fully well I do not deserve to
In Your word You said we should ask and we shall be given
Tonight all I wanna ask is for Your grace of protection of my children
Yes we may not be perfect parents but by Your grace we are blessed to even be parents
You O God knows all our transgressions but you don't love us any less
I ask of Your mercy upon my life and of those who will be joining me here
May You not allow us to be subjected to any sort of pain or dreadful death..."

... That made me cry. Deep down I knew Ntando will try to find me though I didn't see that
happening anytime soon coz I had no phone,no car..nothing that he could use to track me faster.
Ngalamzuzo I began to be grateful of the good times I've had with him,I felt very much appreciative
of his love now coz I realized that ingomso alaziwa,unyawo aluna mpumlo.

"I pray that you guide my husband,my brother and the whole team as they will make ways to find
me
The dangers they will stumble on O God,may they not cost them their lives
I pray again for protection and safety for my sons.
All this I ask hopeful in faith
In the name of the Lord Jesus.
AMEN"

I got up,removed my shoes and sat on the bed with my back towards the wall and my cuddled knees
up my chin. Each time I closed my eyes I would see Uve's teary face,it broke me down. My heart was
shattered.

...

Ntando only noticed after close to ten minutes that something was off here. He got up and went to
check the bathrooms,leaving the kids at the kids corner playing with other kids, unfortunately there
was no one at the toilets. He went back to our table and found my clutch and phones still intact
wakhe wahlala phantsi trying to gather his thoughts and make sense of this whole dilemma then he
asked a waitor to call him a manager yeza

Mng:"molo mnumnzana,I am Lazola Mnguni. My waitor tells me you asked for the manager"?
Him:"mnumzana,ndingu Ntando. Yeah I called for you andaz' qha noba ungakwazi na ukundi nceda
coz what I'm about to ask you is very unusual but izond'nceda kakhulu"
Mng:"I'm here to help and serve my brother,how can I help you"?
Him:"I need to see your CCTV footage,my wife went to the bathroom about fifteen to twenty
minutes ago xandiyomjonga ngoku akhekho"
Mng:"have you perhaps tried calling her"?
Him:"nazi zonke iphone zakhe,I have the car keys with me"
Mng:"I understand your frustration sir but I'd suggest ba khaw'mlinde just a few more minutes
maybe usabethwa ngumoya"
Him:"ndoda ndiyamaz' umkam okay? Something is wrong here so uzandisa kule CCTV okanye
ndiziyele"?
Mng:"ndilandele"

The manager led the way,Ntando followed bafika and rewinded the bathroom footage until Ntando
recognized me xand'phuma kwi cubile they zoomed it in and played wabona yonkinto,thanked the
shocked and traumatized manager then he went to take abantwana bakhe and went back home. He
called Mo engena nje endlini

Mo:"ta Beast"
Him:"uphi"?
Mo:"ndiselapha eBhayi, ikhona ingxaki"?
Him:"get yourself to that Jet right now,I'll be there in fifteen"
Mo:"roger"

Ntando packed impahla zabantwana nokutya kwabo then wabanxibisa warm fluffy jackets and
beanies and drove them to the airport wafikisana no Mongezi

Him:"I need you to take these guys to EL,I'll contact the niggaz that side bakukhaw'lele e airport. Call
me xa ufika endlini"
Mo:"Okay"

The both walked inside the jet and prepared the travelling cots babalalisa then Ntando wabalinda to
get off the ground before he went back to the house where he informed his Durban and Cape Town
teams of what happened.

#348

As time went by I was really falling asleep,I took the blanket and covered myself ndazama ulala. I
would sleep for a couple of minutes and then abruptly wake up,I was having nightmares in this place
already. What if Ntando doesn't find me soon enough? What will happen to me? I went through
these thoughts over and over again till morning when I heard someone unlocking the door I sat up
and waited for them to walk in.

2Guy:"here's breakfast"
Me:"what do you people want from me"?
2Guy:"what do you have that we could want from you"?
Me:"nothing"
2Guy:"exactly that,nothing"

Then waphuma
I didn't even look at the food nd'vele ndaphinda ndalala,actually cried myself to sleep. When I was
tired of lying in bed I got up and analyzed the room,the thickness of the door I was trying my best to
strategize my way out of here but there wasn't any way out. I gave up and returned to bed ndahlala
njee pha and decided to offer a morning prayer to the Lord once again so I knelt down...

"Bawo wethu ose Zulwini

Igama maliphathwe ngobu ngcwele
Ubukumkani bakho mabufike
Intando yakho yenziwe
Emhlabeni njengoko isenziwa emazulwini
Siphe namhlanje esethu isonka
Uxolele amatyala ethu nobugwenxa bethu
Uxolise neentliziyo zethu sikwazi ukuxolela nabo basonayo
Uze usisindise kwinkohlakalo ungasingenisi nase kulingweni kongendawo
Ngokuba amandla ngawakho
Kanye nobungcwalisa
Kude kubesemaphakadeni
Amen"

Then I got into bed again.

Later on that day I heard women kicking the walls and sceaming,the sounds were coming closer and
closer making 'em louder and louder until they stopped infront of the door,unlocked it and roughly
pushed two cursing women inside then closed the door bahamba. The room was dark right? I didn't
put my candle alight since last night and right now I wanted to listen to these two strangers just to
see if I recognized them and if I did,who were they? I was certain they had no idea I was here,I heard
them moving and they made shuffling sounds so I thought maybe they were cuddling to each other
until I heard one of them speaking ndayaz' nje ba kuzonuka inja kule room and whoever was behind
this had done a very good and thorough research and it was now clear to me that these guys were
seriously not after me,Ntando was the target. Why else would they have all his baby mommas and
wife gathered in one room?

Chu:"are you sure uNtando didn't suspect anything ngoku ubuye phaya"?
Lisa:"uyamaz' nje uNtando Chuma when it comes to his kids but umntu ongathi didn't buy to that
story ngula Trina her answers were not promising"
Chu:"then that means again she is messing with me,iyand'khangela lantombazana yaz Anelisa"
Lisa:"you think Ntando is behind this"?
Chu:"who else would get us locked up in a dungeon if not Ntando? That man is ruthless ndaz'bonela
ngawam amehlo engena sizi end'susa umnwe as if ususa ikhalane enjeni"
Lisa:"are you sure akuthethi bitterness Chuma right now? We both know you still think he's your Mr
Right which I still fail to understand coz two wrongs can never make a right. I mean,akhonto
anoy'funa kuthi ngoku uNtando he has Trina and she is good to him and our children"
Chu:"if awnanto ingcono onoy'thetha then you better shut up okay! And don't mention that bitch's
name phamb'kwam again"
Lisa:"u bitter. Yaz bendingakuqhapheli until now"
Chu:"ungazenzi ngcono ngam apha,if you weren't bitter too you wouldn't have agreed to the plan"
Lisa:"umuncu Chuma,I told you I'm only agreeing because I want full custody of my daughter. Wena
umuncu,tartarically sour mtchana if you think he will leave his wife for you. Aw'saziboni ba you got
nothing on her na wena"?
Chu:"don't compare me to that white trash ke pls coz asikho compatible one bit,she's sooo fucken
fake and Ntando is blinded by infactuation for now but uzambona soon"
Lisa:"heh sana,lakurwaya elaxhwele lakho vha coz lomntu undingxolela ngobu fake bakhe
bendimbonile mna with her natural hair engezo kwa ezi nails unazo wena. Chomi yam,ku Ntando we
are used goods...I accepted that a long time ago,you should too"
Chu:"you don't know half of what you're talking about so just shut up"
Lisa:"kanti umuncu kangaka na Chuma,or u desperate? Akho madoda phandl'apha or kuba uNtando
eyimali ezizelayo?"
Chu:"Nelisa I miss my house okay? I miss my lifestyle"
Lisa:"your dad left you money,why didn't you buy yourself these things xa uz'thandayo"?
Chu:"ndiz'thenge ngemali yam? Soze kaloku"
Lisa:"Haike uyi prostitute ungatsho nje"

Ndisamamele mna iindaba ezi ndava ngesthonga sempama haike babhuqana on the floor
exchanging cursing words,secrets were exploding all over the room. I would be lying if I said I didn't
enjoy that,I did pity I couldn't see I could only imagine what was going on though they were probably
right infront of me and I was anticipating the hour when the guys would come in and put the candles
alight sibonane... I wanted to see the disgust in their faces when they realize that I am also here with
them,that I've been here the whole time and I wanted to see their faces when they realize that their
beloved Ntando is not behind all of this. They did this dogfight of theirs until they were both tired
atleast thats what I thought when I heard their silence. Es'daleni I heard Chuma:
Chu:"this is actually stupid"
Lisa:"you got us into this stupidity Chuma,admit that shit and grow a spine dammit"
Chu:"izos'nceda ngantoni kengoku lento siyenzayo? We need to find a way out of this place and fast"
Lisa:"cinga Chuma chomi and fast"
Chu:"why must I think kodwa we're here together"?
Lisa:"uyi master planner kalok nje,uz'libele ba uhambe uqhatha abantu wazenza okwi wheelchair
kodwa wenza i operation wafakwa iintsimbi to strengthen your bones? aw'noxakwa
yilento,ngamanzi amancane kuwe la"
Chu:"believe me Nela...once we get outta here,ndine worry ba ndizamnyisa lanontorotyi ungu Trina.
Rha"
Lisa:"and here I thought we were planning a way out"
Chu:"Anelisa,that woman stole my man,got me trapped into a wheel chair noba khand'hlale for long
ke,she killed my father. Ucing'ba ndizovele ndilibale nje?"
Lisa:"point of correction,I was with Ntando before her so beef'er nam uyeke umtana womntu"
Chu:"why umthethelela? Yaz ingenzeka silapha nje nguwe nokuzenza compassionate kwakho
kuxokayo"
Lisa:"you seem to be forgetting the fact that lomntu umbiza unontorotyi uthi uzamnyisa ukondlela
ukunxibisela umntwana"
Chu:"ha.a ha.a don't even go there. Undondlela ngemali ay'thathaphi? u Owentando wondliwa
yimali kayise Anelisa,that bitch is just there spending that same money on stupid weaves and cars.
Nyife nyife my foot,yi trophy nyife nangoku lanjakazi"
Lisa:"can we just drop this? Please. We have more pressing matters than to discuss our ex's marriage
life"

Then again there was silence. It was that silent for a couple more hours until three guys came into
the room carrying a big lantern ndatsho ndaba bona...they were cuddled up in the center of the
room

1Guy:"molweni mmh akuse cozy apha... I should think you girls have met already right? Uyabona ke
chomi I kept my promise ndakuphathela oo roomie"

Watsho ehleka as he lifted the lantern up and hung it from a wire at the center of the room kwa
bright all over,the two on the floor sat up. Anelisa saw me first waxhuma

Her:"Trina"!

Chuma waxhuma right next to her and our eyes met I could feel the hatred and disgust in them,I was
still cuddled up to myself. My knees up against my chin ndibajonge njee.

Chu:"you've been here the whole time"?

1Guy:"oh it looks like you girls haven't seen each other? Cummon man,kutheni nisenza abantu ababi
girls? We got this room specially prepared for yall, get up from the floor,your beds are overthere"

Baphakama,still in shock. The guy who brought me breakfast took the untouched plate and left with
it only to return ne lunch for the three of us then baphinda bahamba leaving the house pitch black.
Anelisa walayita her candle as soon as we heard the click of the door being locked

Chu:"heh Trina njakazi ndini ufuna ntoni apha? What sick game are you two playing"?

I just kept my mouth shut,I had more important things to think about other than entertaining her.
Within a second she flung from her bed across the room to mine and grabbed my white top
yakrazuka. Anelisa came to seperate us wamfaka impama wayokuwa on the wooden floor wangena
kum,I didn't give her chance. Especially when I realized she had a weave on,I sunk my hands on
it,grabbed it so tight and pulled with all my might ndayiva iyavuma I pulled harder ndamva xa ekhala
I knew I got it right. I pulled it off while she was busy trying to get my face without any luck. We went
at it like stray dogs until I pushed her off the bed wathukisela as she went to her own bed then
kwathi cwaka,I think reality was setting in now. We sat in that silence for a little while,my top was
torn. And I loved it so much :'( It was the first time I had worn it bendiy'thenge ngoku bend'cele
uthenga nge card lika Ntando :( yho I had a lump in my throat. A huge lump,I wanted to cry so bad
but bendingasoze ndizenze weak phamb'kwabo.

Lisa:"S'bongile ufuna nton apha"?

I didn't wanna talk...bend'khathazeke kakhulu for ube ndisenza ifoolish talk nezibhanxa
zamankazana ka Ntando.

Lisa:"Trina"?
Me:"hay fokof hlukana nam Anelisa"
Chu:"ubuy'thethelela ke lenjakazi jonga ngoku iyakuphoxa"
Lisa:"khaw'me maan wena. Trina,please silapha sonke I know but I don't understand why nawe
uzobalapha. Uzothini wena"?
Me:"kanti wena uzothini na Anelisa apha"?
Her:"I don't know kaloku...okay so this means Ntando has nothing to do with this... Yho Thixo wam
sisenjeni kengoku"
Chu:"wha-"

Waz'bamba ezothetha and thank God coz I wasn't really interested to hear the rubbish will exit from
her rotten mouth. Then there was silence...it dawned on all of us now that we're in deep shit.

348

As time went by I was really falling asleep,I took the blanket and covered myself ndazama ulala. I
would sleep for a couple of minutes and then abruptly wake up,I was having nightmares in this place
already. What if Ntando doesn't find me soon enough? What will happen to me? I went through
these thoughts over and over again till morning when I heard someone unlocking the door I sat up
and waited for them to walk in.

2Guy:"here's breakfast"
Me:"what do you people want from me"?
2Guy:"what do you have that we could want from you"?
Me:"nothing"
2Guy:"exactly that,nothing"

Then waphuma
I didn't even look at the food nd'vele ndaphinda ndalala,actually cried myself to sleep. When I was
tired of lying in bed I got up and analyzed the room,the thickness of the door I was trying my best to
strategize my way out of here but there wasn't any way out. I gave up and returned to bed ndahlala
njee pha and decided to offer a morning prayer to the Lord once again so I knelt down...

"Bawo wethu ose Zulwini

Igama maliphathwe ngobu ngcwele
Ubukumkani bakho mabufike
Intando yakho yenziwe
Emhlabeni njengoko isenziwa emazulwini
Siphe namhlanje esethu isonka
Uxolele amatyala ethu nobugwenxa bethu
Uxolise neentliziyo zethu sikwazi ukuxolela nabo basonayo
Uze usisindise kwinkohlakalo ungasingenisi nase kulingweni kongendawo
Ngokuba amandla ngawakho
Kanye nobungcwalisa
Kude kubesemaphakadeni
Amen"

Then I got into bed again.

Later on that day I heard women kicking the walls and sceaming,the sounds were coming closer and
closer making 'em louder and louder until they stopped infront of the door,unlocked it and roughly
pushed two cursing women inside then closed the door bahamba. The room was dark right? I didn't
put my candle alight since last night and right now I wanted to listen to these two strangers just to
see if I recognized them and if I did,who were they? I was certain they had no idea I was here,I heard
them moving and they made shuffling sounds so I thought maybe they were cuddling to each other
until I heard one of them speaking ndayaz' nje ba kuzonuka inja kule room and whoever was behind
this had done a very good and thorough research and it was now clear to me that these guys were
seriously not after me,Ntando was the target. Why else would they have all his baby mommas and
wife gathered in one room?

Chu:"are you sure uNtando didn't suspect anything ngoku ubuye phaya"?
Lisa:"uyamaz' nje uNtando Chuma when it comes to his kids but umntu ongathi didn't buy to that
story ngula Trina her answers were not promising"
Chu:"then that means again she is messing with me,iyand'khangela lantombazana yaz Anelisa"
Lisa:"you think Ntando is behind this"?
Chu:"who else would get us locked up in a dungeon if not Ntando? That man is ruthless ndaz'bonela
ngawam amehlo engena sizi end'susa umnwe as if ususa ikhalane enjeni"
Lisa:"are you sure akuthethi bitterness Chuma right now? We both know you still think he's your Mr
Right which I still fail to understand coz two wrongs can never make a right. I mean,akhonto
anoy'funa kuthi ngoku uNtando he has Trina and she is good to him and our children"
Chu:"if awnanto ingcono onoy'thetha then you better shut up okay! And don't mention that bitch's
name phamb'kwam again"
Lisa:"u bitter. Yaz bendingakuqhapheli until now"
Chu:"ungazenzi ngcono ngam apha,if you weren't bitter too you wouldn't have agreed to the plan"
Lisa:"umuncu Chuma,I told you I'm only agreeing because I want full custody of my daughter. Wena
umuncu,tartarically sour mtchana if you think he will leave his wife for you. Aw'saziboni ba you got
nothing on her na wena"?
Chu:"don't compare me to that white trash ke pls coz asikho compatible one bit,she's sooo fucken
fake and Ntando is blinded by infactuation for now but uzambona soon"
Lisa:"heh sana,lakurwaya elaxhwele lakho vha coz lomntu undingxolela ngobu fake bakhe
bendimbonile mna with her natural hair engezo kwa ezi nails unazo wena. Chomi yam,ku Ntando we
are used goods...I accepted that a long time ago,you should too"
Chu:"you don't know half of what you're talking about so just shut up"
Lisa:"kanti umuncu kangaka na Chuma,or u desperate? Akho madoda phandl'apha or kuba uNtando
eyimali ezizelayo?"
Chu:"Nelisa I miss my house okay? I miss my lifestyle"
Lisa:"your dad left you money,why didn't you buy yourself these things xa uz'thandayo"?
Chu:"ndiz'thenge ngemali yam? Soze kaloku"
Lisa:"Haike uyi prostitute ungatsho nje"

Ndisamamele mna iindaba ezi ndava ngesthonga sempama haike babhuqana on the floor
exchanging cursing words,secrets were exploding all over the room. I would be lying if I said I didn't
enjoy that,I did pity I couldn't see I could only imagine what was going on though they were probably
right infront of me and I was anticipating the hour when the guys would come in and put the candles
alight sibonane... I wanted to see the disgust in their faces when they realize that I am also here with
them,that I've been here the whole time and I wanted to see their faces when they realize that their
beloved Ntando is not behind all of this. They did this dogfight of theirs until they were both tired
atleast thats what I thought when I heard their silence. Es'daleni I heard Chuma:

Chu:"this is actually stupid"

Lisa:"you got us into this stupidity Chuma,admit that shit and grow a spine dammit"
Chu:"izos'nceda ngantoni kengoku lento siyenzayo? We need to find a way out of this place and fast"
Lisa:"cinga Chuma chomi and fast"
Chu:"why must I think kodwa we're here together"?
Lisa:"uyi master planner kalok nje,uz'libele ba uhambe uqhatha abantu wazenza okwi wheelchair
kodwa wenza i operation wafakwa iintsimbi to strengthen your bones? aw'noxakwa
yilento,ngamanzi amancane kuwe la"
Chu:"believe me Nela...once we get outta here,ndine worry ba ndizamnyisa lanontorotyi ungu Trina.
Rha"
Lisa:"and here I thought we were planning a way out"
Chu:"Anelisa,that woman stole my man,got me trapped into a wheel chair noba khand'hlale for long
ke,she killed my father. Ucing'ba ndizovele ndilibale nje?"
Lisa:"point of correction,I was with Ntando before her so beef'er nam uyeke umtana womntu"
Chu:"why umthethelela? Yaz ingenzeka silapha nje nguwe nokuzenza compassionate kwakho
kuxokayo"
Lisa:"you seem to be forgetting the fact that lomntu umbiza unontorotyi uthi uzamnyisa ukondlela
ukunxibisela umntwana"
Chu:"ha.a ha.a don't even go there. Undondlela ngemali ay'thathaphi? u Owentando wondliwa
yimali kayise Anelisa,that bitch is just there spending that same money on stupid weaves and cars.
Nyife nyife my foot,yi trophy nyife nangoku lanjakazi"
Lisa:"can we just drop this? Please. We have more pressing matters than to discuss our ex's marriage
life"

Then again there was silence. It was that silent for a couple more hours until three guys came into
the room carrying a big lantern ndatsho ndaba bona...they were cuddled up in the center of the
room

1Guy:"molweni mmh akuse cozy apha... I should think you girls have met already right? Uyabona ke
chomi I kept my promise ndakuphathela oo roomie"

Watsho ehleka as he lifted the lantern up and hung it from a wire at the center of the room kwa
bright all over,the two on the floor sat up. Anelisa saw me first waxhuma

Her:"Trina"!

Chuma waxhuma right next to her and our eyes met I could feel the hatred and disgust in them,I was
still cuddled up to myself. My knees up against my chin ndibajonge njee.
Chu:"you've been here the whole time"?

1Guy:"oh it looks like you girls haven't seen each other? Cummon man,kutheni nisenza abantu ababi
girls? We got this room specially prepared for yall, get up from the floor,your beds are overthere"

Baphakama,still in shock. The guy who brought me breakfast took the untouched plate and left with
it only to return ne lunch for the three of us then baphinda bahamba leaving the house pitch black.
Anelisa walayita her candle as soon as we heard the click of the door being locked

Chu:"heh Trina njakazi ndini ufuna ntoni apha? What sick game are you two playing"?

I just kept my mouth shut,I had more important things to think about other than entertaining her.
Within a second she flung from her bed across the room to mine and grabbed my white top
yakrazuka. Anelisa came to seperate us wamfaka impama wayokuwa on the wooden floor wangena
kum,I didn't give her chance. Especially when I realized she had a weave on,I sunk my hands on
it,grabbed it so tight and pulled with all my might ndayiva iyavuma I pulled harder ndamva xa ekhala
I knew I got it right. I pulled it off while she was busy trying to get my face without any luck. We went
at it like stray dogs until I pushed her off the bed wathukisela as she went to her own bed then
kwathi cwaka,I think reality was setting in now. We sat in that silence for a little while,my top was
torn. And I loved it so much :'( It was the first time I had worn it bendiy'thenge ngoku bend'cele
uthenga nge card lika Ntando :( yho I had a lump in my throat. A huge lump,I wanted to cry so bad
but bendingasoze ndizenze weak phamb'kwabo.

Lisa:"S'bongile ufuna nton apha"?

I didn't wanna talk...bend'khathazeke kakhulu for ube ndisenza ifoolish talk nezibhanxa
zamankazana ka Ntando.

Lisa:"Trina"?
Me:"hay fokof hlukana nam Anelisa"
Chu:"ubuy'thethelela ke lenjakazi jonga ngoku iyakuphoxa"
Lisa:"khaw'me maan wena. Trina,please silapha sonke I know but I don't understand why nawe
uzobalapha. Uzothini wena"?
Me:"kanti wena uzothini na Anelisa apha"?
Her:"I don't know kaloku...okay so this means Ntando has nothing to do with this... Yho Thixo wam
sisenjeni kengoku"
Chu:"wha-"

Waz'bamba ezothetha and thank God coz I wasn't really interested to hear the rubbish will exit from
her rotten mouth. Then there was silence...it dawned on all of us now that we're in deep shit.

#349

The crew in Cape Town couldn't come down to PE,they were halfway to Congo on a merchandize
export mission and they couldn't turn back the jet nor could they promise to return back
immediately without accomplishing the mission coz that would cost them. Half of the crew in
Durban had left the previous week to Niger and he was informed about that,infact he approved their
trip bona bahambe nge business jet while oo Marc noo Ranger behambe ngo Mo,he couldn't take
the guys in East London that would leave his family naked without protection so the last option was
to call the guys in Gauteng and he had to wait for them to drive from Jozi to PE since ijet zingekho in
the country. As frustrating as the situation was for him,he had to take time out;plan and think this
through,he had to think every little move into detail. As he was busy on his master plan and trying to
research the faces he saw on the CCTV footage,one of the guys called him lo kanye who seems to be
the "manager" in this whole thing...not knowing the number,he connected it to the tracker before
taking the call

Him:"yah"?
1Guy:"Beast"
Him:"speak"
1Guy:"injani i grootman? Wait,I know the answer to that...i frustrated i Beast"
Him:"who are you and what do you want"?
1Guy:"so the question is,izokwenzani iBeast xa i frustrated"?
Him:"ndizokubuza again,who are you"?
1Guy:"and the answer to that is iBeast ayizukwenza fokol...so that means in order for the beast to
act we have to provoke the beast huh? Make it angry sizoy'bona kengok ingqawa"
Him:"who the fuck are you dammit"?!
1Guy:"I am me and I don't want anything yet relax madala unganyukelwa yi swekile. But I do believe
you lost a jewel,or two. Or is it three"?
Him:"I don't know what you're talking about,care to elaborate maybe"?
1Guy:"I don't have much time right now,but I'll call you again later...oh and,don't waste your time
tracing this call coz you won't find anything on it. Have a good day"

He hung up even before Ntando could answer him. Despite being told not to try and trace the call he
did try unsuccessfully though. Ntando has this frustrating personality that just relaxes,he likes taking
his time even in pressing matters but right now he had no choice but to chill...maybe it works for
him.
The guys came to give us breakfast bakhupha ne bucket to empty it and returned with warm water
in a 20L bucket,another 20L of cold water and a second empty one. They gave us bath towels,soaps
and overalls and then they sat down

3Guy:"bath time babies,one at a time...khaw'fake umculu nigga"

The 2Guy put on dancehall music kwi mini speaker savela sabajonga nje thina

1Guy:"so who's going first ladies? Or you need help undressing"?

2Guy:"I think they need help,or a little motivation"
Chu:"we're going to bath with all three of you here? Watching us"?
2Guy:"you have a problem with us watching yall"?
Chu:"well yes,I can't bath infront of strangers. Especially men"
2Guy:"well if we can't watch yall we have to help yall bath,get up kuqale wena futhi. Uthetha too
much"

He got up and mixed enough water for her coz there was one vaskom then he waited for her,there
was no backing out of this. She undressed slowly wavasa ubuso and all eyes were on her until she
washed the lower parts of her body then that guy stepped infront of her,took the towel from her
hand as she was about to dry herself wamosula ngokwakhe sana lamfana! I just knew siyaqhelwa nje
apha ndalala and ndazigquma mna ndingazobukela nonsense nje...then I heard Chuma breathing
heavely,then I heard her moaning ndaphakamisa intloko and saw the guys hand between her open
legs,her eyes were shut and head thrown back... I rolled my eyes covered my head again and just
wondered what sick games were these guys playing or planning to play on us. Chuma must have
been having the time of her life coz her moans were getting louder and louder,even close to screams
getting applause from the guys until they stopped.
2Guy:"who's up next"?

Anelisa didn't answer,I wasn't going to. I felt someone pulling my blanket I didn't even lift up my
head,I wasn't gonna feed their egos with satisfaction that ndiyaboyika

1Guy:"are you not bathing first lady"?

I shook my head
1Guy:"u sure? You can only get hot water after three days"

I didn't answer him,he threw back the blanket nday'tsala and covered myself again. Anelisa said she
didn't need no help uzoz'vasa she'd rather be watched than molested,bamhleka wavasa wagqiba
they went to throw away the water leaving la angekasetyenziswa amanzi then locked us up again.
Yet another day,and another passed kusenzeka the same thing until one night when I couldn't sleep
no more, I woke up while the other girls were sleeping I poured the cold water evaskomini ndavasa
thoroughly ndavasa nempahla zam zonke and hung them up. Atleast we had soap and they had
custom made us a lil washing line at the very end of the room to hang our towels the only air being
that of the ventilators. I wore the overalls and hung my things ndabuyela ebhedini ndacingana nento
zam...it was clear that ndizogqiba iveki mna apha with these two psychos. What killed me the most
was thinking about my children,what they were doing,where and with who :( . I fell asleep until I
heard the door unlocking ndavuka and sat up,I don't like nasty surprises so I'd rather be awake and
conscious all the time coz I don't know what these peopleare planning. He put a bowl of cereal next
to me,gave me a glass of milk then sat on the edge of my bed

3Guy:"I've been told you haven't eaten eversince you got here"

Since I didn't know what was expected of me to repsond and say,I rather kept quiet.

3Guy:"don't punish yourself for what you don't know,how long do you think you will starve yourself?
You don't even know if anyone will come to your rescue in time,eat and be strong for your own sake.
Here,its not pap,I kinda figured you'd appreciate cereal"

I took the bowl ndatya,I was really hungry by now. He waited for me to eat finish,took the glass then
he left. Eziz'bhanxa were snoring :o how do they get comfortable in such situations? Phof
baqhelile uhlala ngaphandle kwabantwana babo but kengok aboyiki? Mk! The second guy brought
them breakfast akand'nika obviously waphinda waphuma not forgetting to lock the door -_-

Lisa:"Trina why ungatyi"?

Me:"ndi grand"
Chu:"umhoye nganton,inoba usa slimmer i babyfat"
Lisa:"imuncu ke kodwa lento uy'phendulayo Chuma. Trina,u right?"
Me:"Anelisa"
Lisa:"yeah"
Me:"ndi right,thank you for asking. Now,we both know that uyi puppet ka Chuma ne,can you pls just
let me be? Ibengath' andikho lapha pls"
Chu:"aha! All hail Miss universe"

Savela sathula emva kwaleyo...how I missed the scent of my husband's aftershave :'( in such
situations uvele ukhumbule even the simplest of things,ezanto ungazihoyiyo and mostly the things
and moments you don't normally appreciate.
Es'daleni,think it was close to the lunch hour ndeva umntu ozohlala on my bed ndavuka ndamjona
uAnelisa ndi confused
Me:"mh,yinton' ngoku"?
Lisa:"I know this is probably the dumbest question to be asked under the circumstances,but uright"?
Me:"again,ndi grand"
Chu:"khaw'yekane no Trina wethu Anelisa lenjakazi ay'saboni noba kwalomntu inethemba lakhe
ubusy ukhangelana naba fresh probably has forgetten about her"
Me:"umuncu ke"
Chu:"and'fiki kuwe...khona wena Anelisa yinton was'ke wakhathala too much mvanje"?
Me:"nyhani"
Lisa:"I just... Look Tee I know very well I haven't been appreciative bra kodwa you had my back when
Ntando wouldn't let me see my child"
Me:"kengok you tryna tell me you suddenly grew isazela coz und'bonisile mos oyena Anelisa,now
can we just move on? We're stuck here for God knows how long,being reminiscent won't help us
anyway"
Lisa:"...okay fair enough...just so you know I'm not proud of my lastest act and I want to apologize.
For everything"
Chu:"uph-"
Lisa:"you shut the fuck up andikathethi nawe okay? Ndiyeza kuwe"

Wathula...

Lisa:"umtanam uthi mama kuwe umlomo ugcwale and I don't blame her,ndakubona ba umthanda
nyhani. You gave her what I couldn't, uthando. And for that I'll forever respect you"
Me:"its okay Anelisa,I know uthethiswa kuba silapha sonke coz not so long ago ubund'accuser of
using abantwana benu to get married. But its fine wethu"
Lisa:"forget about that ndithetha inyani ngoku,you have played a massive role in my daughter's life
and somehow changed her father kwalento abambe icall yam ade avume nokundibona"

I sighed ndombhatha ndalala mna. All this talking was just reminding me of home,Ntando this,Sino
that! Gosh,nam ndinabantwana bam who are probably wondering where's 'mamam'. Okay. We
heard the guys coming,bavula nyhan bangena three of them bephethe a chair and a closed bucket
ne rope

1Guy:"Chuma,izapha"

Waphakama,ndothuka kwalento aphakame so fast without even asking questions,she sat on the
chair wothuka when they tied her hands to the chair

Her:"what are guys doing to me"

They continued tying her ankles too sekhala ezama nokhabalaza,she was making one helluva noise I
don't wanna lie and as irritated as I was,I emphathized with her once one of the guys got even more
fedup wamfaka impama zambini zalandelelana. Xa esothuka iimpama they splashed her with ice cold
water ndane worry. The 3Guy took out his phone and dialed someone then put the phone on loud
speaker...I heard my man's voice zisuka nje

Him:"hello"
3Guy:"Beast"
Him:"what do you want now"?
3Guy:"mamela"

The second guy wafaka impama ku Chuma wakhala,Ntando wathi cwaka akabinayo ne reaction
nyana nje. What if ibindim?
3Guy:"we have a lot more of that and we don't mind entertaining ourselves all day all night"
Him:"so niyi group? Mh"
3Guy:"uyi taima e grand grootman,ndiyaz'buza ba uzothini kulantwana yakho xa ibuza umama
ngenyimini"
Him:"nifuna nton' majita"
3Guy:"what can you offer us grootman"?
Him:"for u Chuma I have nothing to offer you"
3Guy:"eish,lilishwa lethu kengok. No don't worry,we will call again when we have something worth
an offer"
Chu:"Ntando pls"
Him:"pls ntoni"?
Chu:"pls do it for Owe bra...these guys will kill us"
Him:"who's us"?

Before Chuma could answer they snatched the phone and hung up. I could hear Ntando was under a
lot of stress,umntu ongamaziyo could easily mistake that to arrogance.

350

Three more days passed singanikwa kutya,no visitations from the guys just silence and isolation.
Now and again I would hear Anelisa joining in on my daily prayers,maybe she realised that
akhothemba lophuma apha but mna bendinalo,I knew Ntando wouldn't be able to live with himself
if he didn't atleast try to save me especially since he continuosly tells me that he will always protect
me no matter the situation and besides,I had Marcus who treats me like his little egg I knew
uzophambana once he hears I've been kidnapped. On the forth day our kidnappers came in,Chuma
was bed stricken yi flu ngemxa yalamanzi abandayo they splashed on her that day. These guys came
with a dark vintage marble table,they were six this time around. They dragged Anelisa from the bed
to the table ekhala umtanabantu bamvithisa ngempama wathi cwaka as they stripped the overall off
her upper body and then chained her on the table lying on her back. They plugged a welding
machine then called Beast again

Him:"I'm getting tired of this sudden relationship of ours now"

3Guy:"it will be over soon grootman"

Then he signaled for one of the two guys with the welding machines to go ahead...yaz when they
strapped Chuma to the chair I silently wished it was me,atleast her torture wasn't so bad. They
started burning the iron chunks on Anelisa's arm,the second she felt the heat creeping and scorching
into her flesh she screamed her lungs out trying to move but she couldn't. They let go of that one
and went to the other wrist waphinda waqala ek'qala ukhala ekhwaza no Ntando lowo ecela
amaxolo and pleading with him. Angazange ay'thethe wayilibala umntanomntu... They stopped and
went back to the phone

3Guy:"enjoyed that"?
Him:"was I supposed to"?
3Guy:"tyhini grootman,sakuzama ngezinto zakho awabina mbulelo"
Him:"mamela ke whoever you are,masingaqhelan' ikaka. Thetha lento uy'funayo kum and stop
fucken calling me with alien numbers"
3Guy:"we want three bil,tonight"
Him:"you really expect me to just throw away three billion rands for Anelisa? What are you guys
smoking"?
The 3Guy indicated again to the guys,behla bayotshisa amaqatha. Anelisa's cry was unbearable
zinkosi zam,bekhala kabuhlungu I was praying uNtando avume sizophuma apha but naah,that was
just hopeless praying but I realised their plan. Lamajita were just punishing us we were their
bargains,I figured they knew Ntando would do anything for me thats why ndisekugqibeleni meaning
a greater torture was awaiting me emva ko Anelisa :'(

3Guy:"ukhala kabuhlungu shame lo sisi,its a pity we don't have hearts. Just like you"
Him:"mxm"

He hung up
They dialed Gudda,naye ndimve on the 'hello' they didn't even respond bavela batshisa iintsimbi
zabo ezi kwi joints ku Anelisa

Him:"hello,who is this"?
Her:"Gu- aaahahaha! You have to Heeelp meeeee! These men are gonna kill meeeee"
Him:"Anelisa, uphi? Whats happening to you"?
Her:"I- I - I don't know...we're trapped somewhere aaaaaawch"

They removed the phone from her

3Guy:"so Gundagunda njayam z'yathini ndoda"

Him:"who the hell are you and what the fuck do you want? Nigga if you dare hurt her nd'zakucubha
ngezandla umamele sani"
3Guy:"argh stop with the threats, you don't scare me. I want three bill,tonight"
Him:"what? Are you mad? Where am I supposed to get three billion tonight"?
3Guy:"if you want to see your sister again then you will make a plan acus"
Him:"who the fuck are you"?
3Guy:"I'll email you the bank details at 6 in the evening. Oh and holler at your daddy ta
Bongs...mxelele iya salute'r i team"

Then he hung up
It was clear to me now that Gudda knew about Anelisa from the begining but what made me wonder
was why he never disclosed this to me when he told me about his brothers? That even these guys
knew these two were family but I didn't know their knowledge about me yet coz I was secluded.
When they were done they left her strapped and locked us there. She was crying horribly it pained
me to a point where a part of me wanted to tell her we're actual sisters maybe that would comfort
her somehow but I rethought that and realized that it wasn't my place and the timing was off
,Chuma went to her bakhala bobabini yangathi andikho mna. I was used to the idea of being by
myself,even endlini bend'hlala nabantwana bam badlale balale then I would enjoy the silence. Some
time later the guys came back with food bamkhulula uAnelisa and gave the two of them food,they
even waited for them to eat bagqiba and took the plates waphinda wahamba. I wanted to cry...for
goodness sake silambe sonke bo :'(

Chu:"Why unganikwangu ukutya Trina"?

Lisa:"aw'tyanga"?
Chu:"akatyanga"

I didn't respond to them,I just pulled the blankie over my head ndazama ulala. Though that was
pointless coz my stomach was rumbling... Hours later saphathelwa ukutya nam ndatya then one
other guy came in and pulled a chair wahlala right infront of me

Him:"you look very beautiful, fair and soft skinned. Umhle nyhani"
I put the plate down ndathula,I retracted as he tried touching my face.

Him:"you're my last hope for getting that three bill,maybe we could work together and get more"

I pulled my blanket ndaphinda ndazama ulala. My body was sore from sleeping,but its not like I had
a choice for doing so. There was nothing else I could do...
I heard the door opening,then mechanical sounds. Ndsamamele njalo I heard them discussing but I
couldn't hear the exact words then suddenly I felt a hand forcefully grabbing my arm,I obliged coz
unlike these two other ladies I had no energy for crying AWOL. Two guys helped each other to tie me
onto a chair

3Guy:"you know you have such a pretty face? I hate my job sometimes...but then again,it pays well
so sisiza lets help each other here. I give you an instruction and you say exactly what I tell you to or
there'll be consequences"
2Guy:"bring the gag skeem"

One guy brought the gag :o it smelt like sewage from a distance nda naar ingeka fiki, without
knowing they pulled my head backwards and stuffed my mouth with that stinking gag I felt my eyes
rolling backwards,I salivated intliziyo yahlamba and without having anything besides what seemed
like rotten socks to stop me from vomiting kwabuya konke ukutya but since there was a bearer some
ended up coming out through my nose. The 3Guy wore latex gloves and removed the gag kwaphinda
kwanyuka konke...that was their chance of calling Ntando,while dialing,the other guy lo ebehleli
infront of my bed told me to cry ku Ntando and tell him I needed saving so he should just give these
guys the three bill for my freedom. But I knew I wouldn't be able to,right now my head was doing
runs at Moses Mabhida staduim

3Guy:"tell him you miss your babies"

..
Beast:"you know some of us have work to do"

Band'jonga expecting me to say something but mna ndathula nje.

3Guy:"well I guess you need a lil motivation"

Beast:"huh"?

Yangena impama ndothuka, that klap alone motivated more vomit instead of what they expected
from me. I vomited until there was nothing else,xand'qhala uphefumla ndothuswa ngenye impama
instead of crying again ndakhupha but this time there was blood coz andinakutya esiswini. I was sure
Ntando could hear the sounds I was making,or my breathing coz anyway the phone was very close

Beast:"wait... Baby"?

That's when I started crying,voice kunzima nokuyikhupha kengok but ndinesingqala

Beast:"Baby"?
Me:"hm"?
Beast:"I'll get you out of that place I promise okay"
Me:"mm"
3Guy:"ubaby wakho u feisty huh? Just like you. Mamela ke grootman,the price is no longer three
bill...we want five now"
Beast:"sure"
Then he hung up
They called him again akayibamba three times bamncama,I thought ndizophumla after that but I
found myself being moved from this wooden chair to another chair...I saw a familiar hat and BAM! I
realized it was an electric hat for electrocution ndaqala ndoyika kengoku coz I had only seen this hat
when I researched gangstas uqala kwam ubano Ntando. I suddenly had shortness of breath just by
remembering what this chair does :'( they strapped me and plugged everything I felt the
electricity biting into my body bandyeka mna feeling the shocks from head to toe baphinda bazama
uNtando send'khala nyani this time my voice almost hoarse, with luck they got him... And a bit of a
suprise

Beast:"Zoro"!
Bothuka bonke bajongana

Beast:"Is that my wife that I'm hearing? On an electric chair? Yhuuu Zoro Zoro Zoro! Guqa uthandaza
ndoda coz nd'phez'kwakho. iMossel Bay ndizoyenza ncinci kwedini uzoyeka uva amabali
ndizokwenza imbali wena ubuqu"

The minute he hung up,the electric chair was immediately pulled off the plug,suddenly kwa busy
they were panicking blind making calls all over. I overheard one of the guys talking about moving us
to an abandoned warehouse in the Northen Cape. I prayed Ntando would come as fast as
possible,like he was my only hope to freedom :'( but what if he comes late? What if now that he
knows who these people are wabaxelela bazos'bulala? What if I don't get to see my children grow? I
started to cry so hard when these thoughts started to dominate my mind. Anelisa came to my
bed,she hugged me salila sobabini

Me:"what if Ntando becomes to late"?

Her:"he'll come through"

Chuma joined us,suddenly we united against our biggest fear. We hugged...cried and then sothuka
xasizothathwa. Six guys divided themselves into two's each two taking one of us leading us back to
that looong dark passage besize ngayo. Once outside we sat down on a cement looking like chair
then our ankles and wrists were tied nge rough rope. Those six were assigned to keep an eye on us
while the rest of the guys loaded the equipment into their cars and then suddenly we heard
cars...since we heard and saw the guys making phone calls we thought isekwangabanye babo until
we saw the cars. Not one,two or three cars but an army of ten black cars. Four Hummers,two Range
Rovers and four Mahindras zafika ndabona one of these six running back inside eyoxela. Ukhubone
when you're stuck between fear and excitement? It was getting a bit darker and the fact that the
house was old and surrounded by bushes and big tall trees wasn't helping one bit. We heard doors
open and close but we didn't see people coming out,beze kuthi ke atleast coz I know uRanger
eyedwa angekhe ohluleke by these five people. As I counted the minutes kungade kwenzekento
even they kidnappers came out of the dungeon with guns,I mean real big guns haike I lost all hope
until I heard Ranger... Sabe sesigxavulwa sikhonjwa ngemipu ezintloko

Range:"Mzoristo...mmh,I gotta give it to you njayam. You have grown in the game"

So now I figure Zoro must be la guy ibiqala ukuza,lo ebendincoma ubuhle. Ngokucacileyo nguye
ophethe le crew coz he also came forward wamela at a fair distance from Ranger with his gun ready
for action

Him:"exile does that to you"

Range:"so you say...tell me,how's your wife? Is she still living in Grahamstown? Oh kanene...mxm ey
into zoguga,you moved her and the kids to North West right? Clever move nigga. Very clever mood"
Him:"I don't have time to chit chat Ranger,where's Beast? Nd'funa yena"
Range:"Beast? Where is Beast kanene? Ey I don't know skeem,but he sent me to deliver this"

He threw two briefcases towards Zoro,he instructed the 3Guy to check ba yimali yamanyhani na

Range:"now is your turn to give me what I want"

Him:"release the two,keep the wife"

Those guys released Chuma and Anelisa,two guys from Beasts side led them to the cars

Range:"Zoro what game are you playing now"?

Him:"told you I wanted Beast himself,I want him to see his beautiful wife die right before his own
two eyes"
Range:"ooh okay,lemme arrange that for you. Gunja bring me my laptop ngqina"

A muscular guy brought out an Apple laptop,Ranger punched something for a few seconds gqiba
wanika u Zoro, obviously he had to put it on the ground the 2Guy picked it up,gave it to his Boss

Range:"touch the screen"

Him:"I still don't understand what the fuck a laptop has got to do with speaking to Be- wai' wai' wai'
wait! what the fuck?"
Beast:"kwedin' Zoro"
Him:"what on earth are you doing in my house? How the fuck did you find it?"
Beast:"wait on a sec... Akhumzi,izobulisa utata"

Ntando was playing mind games nale chap...somehow he knew his weekness and wazixelela ba
uzothi nca kuyo. After the kids spoke briefly to their father it was back to business

Him:"if you dare touch even one string of hair on my family..."

Beast:"I gave you your five bill,now let go of my wife"
Him:"that easy huh"
Beast:"heh ndithi ndiyakuzama uyand'xhomela. Okay ke, just don't go around saying I'm heartless
bendikunikile ichance so now we'll do it your way. The bloody hard way"

Yacima ilaptop,Zoro smashed it on the floor...andazanga who shot first but shots fired,ngokothuka I
fell off the cement chair and landed on my knees ndaziqhotha as I knelt on the ground saying my last
prayer for the day.

351

There were gunshots everywhere,but there were no voices just sounds zeenyawo marching and
chasing. I tried getting up and maybe sneak out but a strong hand pulled me up ndsazama
uziphakamela,the man scooped me up and ran the other way sayofika into a big vehicle,since
bekumnyama I kinda figured yi truck ndaphoswa ngaphezulu I landed on what felt like hay. Then the
truck moved,first it moved slowly then raced out of the place knocking me from side to side I'm
certain I had bruises on my body coz okukungqubeka was now extreme and nendlela imbi. We drove
for a while before the truck abruptly stopped,I faintly heard voices then kwazovulwa ingcango
kwangena two guys who dragged me out of the truck to another heavy weight car that was already
waiting. I knew that these were not Ntando's people,they were manhandling me kak'bi.
Yaphephetheka nalena imoto,I couldn't see ba siphi or siyaphi coz kumnyama. I cried silently,just
when I thought uNtando uzond'sindisa ndivele nd'phuncuke ezandleni zakhe kanje? We drove to
another desserted warehouse ndafakwa pha ndashiywa ebumnyameni. My feet were still tied
together,so were my hands ndashiywa on the floor. When I heard the car leaving I crawled to what
seemed like a metal object,it shone because of what seemed like a crack near the roof,ndaythatha
and felt the edges ndeva ba yimela. I cut the ropes on my hands first then the ones on my feet
ndaphakama and roamed around in this dark room trying to find a switch...I found it
sendiy'ncama,turned it on and went to try on the door but akwenzeka niks,I looked at landawo
ibingene a light ukuze nd'bone lamela ndaya kuyo and kicked as hard as I coulf for a couple of
minutes,I looked around and saw a chair ndas'thatha ndabetha ngaso yabhidlika. I went to turn off
the light then took the knife ndaphuma ndibaleka not knowing where I'm going but ndabaleka still. I
ran till I found tar road ndaphumla behind a danger box contemplating whether to go North or South
but the plan was to walk forward while hiding behind the trees until I could see umzi ndiyocela
indawo kuwo,noba nd'cela ufouna ke if abana ndawo yokuba nd'beke intloko till the morning. I
commenced with my plan,running towards the south but not on the road,just along the bushy trees
so as to be discreet. I ran for what must have been three hours with no sight of houses ndahlala
phantsi ndaphumla my feet were killing me,my mind kept on playing Ntando's voice: "baby,I will get
you out of that place I promise" and now that I had gotten myself out how will he find me? After
taking a break ndaphinda ndathathisa, at a far distance I could see houses and street lights and that
was enough motivation to keep going. As I was still walking I heard cars from lendlela ndiya
ngakuyo,I ran into the bushes ndazilinda I saw the lights coming,I couldn't peep out and jeopardise
my chances of escaping indefinitely. When all the sounds had subsided I started on my journey again
until I reached the houses ndaphinda ndaphumla. I wanted to immediately knock on the first house
but a sixth sense told me not to so I continued walking just slowly now...my thought was maybe seku
midnight or after midnight now bekunini ndihamba? I walked for about two more hours ndabona
iskolo... I walked past it until I reached a decent looking house with a chained dog,I had no more
strength by now to run away from the barking dog ndavela ndawa a few feet from the gate. The dog
continued barking incediswa nazezinye but I was too weak to get up and run ndavela ndacinyelwa
zizibane.

It felt like my feet had needles underneath,they were pricking on the most sensitive parts of my skin.
I felt warm... I moved my hands just to feel lendawo ndikuyo but it felt too soft and cottonish than
ground should. So I opened my eyes and realised that I'm in someones bed,covered in someones
blankets ndothuka and tried getting up but a woman was busy with my feet..she had a bowl next to
her,a towl in her hand

Me:"uhm,hi"

She got up and came to help me sit up wandipha amanzi

Her:"my name Nosipho,my husband see you out the gate"

Me:"enkosi mama"
Her:"ooh,ungumXhosa"?
Me:"ewe ma...tjo my feet"
Her:"bendisakukhupha ameva...uze njani apha? Ungowaphi? Ubusiyaphi"?

Then my reality sinked in... Andizazi noba ndiyaphi let alone knowing ba ndiphi right now. It was
understandable why my feet had blisters and thorns,ucanda amathafa ongawaziyo ngobusuku ube
ungazazi noba uphi usiyaphi. Remembering last night brought tears to my ears,she hugged me
calming me down wand'phinda ngamanzi then she left me wahamba wabuya with a tray ene papa
ka mealie-meal with rooibos tea
Me:"thank you"
Her:"itya sisi,if awonelanga undixelele ndikwenzele amaqanda"
Me:"okay ma,enkosi kwakhona"

She then left me to eat,yho yangas'ke ndixhumaxhume mntak'lo Yesu. It has been too long...ndatya
ndagqiba ngoku ngoku. I took my time drinking the tea,when I was done I tried getting up but the
minute my feet hit the floor the pain shot straight up to my nerves. I almost cried...

Her:"hay mtanam khwela ebhedini soze ukwazi uhamba ngezonyawo"

She took the tray ndaphinda ndakhwela ebhedini and took a deep breath,xa ebuya u mam'Nosipho
wabuya nesonka,eggs,cheese grillers and orange juice then she sat down next to me,kwangena
umyeni wakhe wabulisa wabuza impilo...

Him:"ungowaphi ke nontombi,ungu bani igama"?

Me:"ndingu Sibongile Luthando Ntabeni ndingowase monti tata,qha ndihlala e Bhayi"
Him:"yhu ungowakude,uzofika njani apha"?

I started narrating the story to them,mamalapha walila,I helped cry along with her.

Him:"yabuhlungu kelento uyibalisayo mntanam,kengoku unaye umntu oyaziyo inumber yakhe

umxelele ukuba ulapha"?
Me:"ewe tata,umyeni wam"
Him:"unaso isiqinisekiso so'ba uzaw'kwazi ukuza apha azokulanda"?
Me:"ewe tata"

He gave me his phone I dialed Ntando coz I know about three of his numbers by heart. It rang four
times yathi cwaka,I tried the next number yakhala yodwa I hung up and tried eyokugqibela
endiyaziyo,I was even panicking now but I knew Marcus soze ndingamfumani yena

Him:"yah"

He was agitated... Very much so. I took a deep breath

Him:"helowu"?
Me:"hey"

My voice was more of a whisper but wandiva

Him:"S'bongile"?
Me:"mh"?
Him:"Good God! Uphi? I've been into each and every room kule warehouse awufumaneki, bakusephi
baby? And who's phone are you using"?
Me:"relax I'm safe. I ran away...last night. Uphi wena? Can you come fetch me"
Him:"ndingeza nangoku ndisekule warehouse yo Zoro, uphi ndize kuwe"?
Me:"just outside Cape Town...ima ndinike utatalapha he will direct you"
Him:"oh okay mnike"

I gave the phone to umntu wayo he directed Ntando while mam'Nosipho rubbed my now swollen
feet with rubbing stuff,it was painful coz ebecinezela but it was not as painful as the past few weeks
have been. I rested and waited for Ntando to come fetch me ndakhe ndalala,I was tired.
Physically,emotionally and psychologically... Tired. I had daymares,reliving my marathon hide-and-
seek night and in this dream the cars were actually chasing me and I couldn't run any
faster,bezind'fumana. I suddenly jolted up straight ndothuka with a bit of relief when I realised that
it was just a dream and then I heard real cars coming into the yard... Then kwathi cwaka.
Nosipho walked in with her husband,Ntando,Marcus,Thriller and Ranger following right behind her. I
had no tears now,even those of joy. Ntando came to me first,he hugged me without saying a
word,my body was sore so I kinda pushed him back a lil with a whince

Him:"I'm sorry baby"

Me:"its okay"

He moved away,I hugged my brother while Ntando went to talk to the owners of the house. Marc
was relieved shame,inoba ebengasalali kwasendlini yakhe kweziveki.

Him:"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner"

Me:"you're here now boet"

We hugged again
Nosipho came to my feet no Ntando wazityhila and showed him

Her:"kuzofuneka nimse kwagqirha ke ndoda,uyaz'bona zinjani"

Him:"ndizomsa ofika kwethu eKapa mama...enkosini kakhulu ngento yonke"
Her:"nomnye umntu ebenoyenze lento siyenzileyo mtanam"

Wathula uNtando,the look on his face was of sorrow,mixed with pain and guilt. Bathetha ke bagqiba
nam ndabulela,Marcus wand'funqula wayond'faka emotweni eqhutywa ngu Ntando...there were
three cars,well they could have just taken one bebezokwanela. After he put me inside he went to his
own car,Ntando came in waqhuba saphumani kula yard and drove to his apartment where he just
parked,came out to my side and took me inside wayond'beka e bedroom then he went to run me a
Savlon bath

Him:"uhm,nd'cela ukhulule the bath is ready"

I didn't answer him,I undressed ndagqiba again wandisa e bathroom wand'faka emanzini...heeeey!
The way the anticeptic bit into my sores I screamed and hung onto his neck for dear life,he tried
getting me into the water

Him:"baby kalok you have to bath in this water,I can make you a bubble bath later"
Me:"Ntando lento itshisa amanxeba bra"
Him:"I know but izowapholisa msinya and prevent infection"

I mumbled but ndangena emanzini anyway,groaning in pain as my entire body got covered my the
anticeptic water. I closed my eyes and allowed the water to soothe my sores,mzimba loh wonke was
painful,I felt Ntando lifting my feet up wazivasa one by one taking his time... I looked at him

Me:"babe"

He snapped and looked at me quizzically

Me:"thank you"
Him:"babe don't... I feel bad enough already"
Me:"but you kept your promise"
Him:"not soon enough though..."
Me:"stop it,okay? Just stop"
He bit his tongue ezothetha,I got up,infact out of the bathing tub my feet were better. I wrapped a
towl around my body and walked myself to the bedroom ndahlala nje looking at my reflection in the
mirror,he sat down next to me looking down at his hands...feeling remorseful I should think

Him:"andiyazi noba ndiqalephi ngokuxolisa kuwe"

Me:"you've apologised already"
Him:"I am feeling guilty baby because you suffered a great ordeal on my account"
Me:"there's no need to feel guilty,it might have been because of you but it wasn't your fault"
Him:"why are you not angry with me"?
Me:"I don't know why you think I should... Where are my babies"?
Him:"baku makhulu"
Me:"ooh"
Him:"ndiyobathatha"?
Me:"no...not just yet. I need to fully recover"
Him:"kay...ufuna ntoni ke,what kinda food or anything oy'funayo nd'kwenzele yona"?
Me:"I'm not really hungry,but thanks for offering"
Him:"meat? Yoghurt? Fruit?"

I smiled faintly... He was trying.

Me:"since you're insisting ke yoghurt will be fine"

Him:"mand'yoyithatha ke. Get dressed ne,ikhona i tracksuit yakho e blue on the top drawer kwi
chest of drawers"

I smiled and nod. I waited for him to go downstairs then I went to look for le track suit nday'nxiba ne
vest yakhe. He came back with a bunch of red seedless grapes,a banana,the yoghurt and a spoon
wafika sendombhathile he also got under covers saqala nge grapes,I'd eat my yogurt inbetween.

Him:"on the bright side,une khom-khom babe. Uyaz'bona"?

Ndamhleka :p

Me:"nd'zothini oko bend'valelekile mfondin"

#352

I could feel I really needed to see a doctor,my body was just not alright and I suspected I might have
caught an infection too. I slept through that day,woke up engekho the following day so I just went to
bath,came out xa engena with an Identity shopping bag

Him:"you're up already,good morning"

Me:"hey"

We hugged,he gave me the bag I checked its contents and smiled,there was a Clicks plastic bag
inside caba he had bought toiletries.

Me:"thank you"
Him:"don't,please"

I lotioned in silence,my whole body was in pains. I couldn't point out exactly which part of my body
was painful or hurt the most but bendiqaqanjelwa for real. His silence was awkward,the kinda
silence that drew me to think he was full of regret. Wayenje nangesa spin so bra Killa but atleast
wakhe wamane end'buza until I burst out on him,maybe now he was afraid of uphoxwa again. When
I was done dressing I took a brush,sat down infront of the dressing table and took time combing my
hair backwards. I was looking at my reflection infront of me,blankly wondering how is it possible that
I survived so long in that slump? That moment right then I realised that God has no favours coz if he
did then I wouldn't be here I,back home. Alive and sound. I thought of everything those faggots
could have done to me but they didn't,I thought of everything that could have happened the night I
ran away endaweni endingayaziyo and ran into a strangers house... Nothing happened to me coz
God was there with me,every day. Going through these thoughts brought bittersweet tears to my
eyes along with a huge lump in my throat,he must have gotten up from the bed coz I felt his
presence closer around me,I swallowed hard trying so hard not to make a sound or a sniff. I wiped
my tears with the back of my hand,my eyes still closed. When I eventually opened my eyes he was
infront of me almost about to hug me.. I don't know,but I got up and turned to the bathroom for a
proper face clean-up xand'gqiba he was right behind me,just watching yet again...and blocking my
way.

Me:"oh-kay,what's up"?

He stepped forward and held my waist,wabanda wonke umzimba wam and he felt it

Him:"I understand maybe its still too soon for you to talk but I wish no actually I would like you to be
free around me"
Me:"I am free around you nje"
Him:"Nalique"?
Me:"hm"
Him:"its me...Ntando,your husband. Okay? I've told you countless times that You don't have to put
on this strong façade nakum,I know you're hurt baby and I wish I could take that pain away from
you,I really do s'thandwa sam. Please ju-"

I just broke down esathetha,he pulled me close so I got to bury my face in his chest clutching on
both sides of his sweatshirt ndakhala nyhani. He let me,for a very long three minutes he just let me
cry brushing my back yet keeping me tight onto him. I calmed down,moved away from him and
attempted to clean myself again ndonele kukosula impumlo he took my hand and led us to the
bedroom where I sat cross-legged on the center of the bed wiping my eyes ngezandla,he sat right
infront of me.

Him:"can I say I'm sorry for the last time"?

I tried a chuckle... I hate apologies,maybe that's why its even harder when I have to do one myself.

Him:"wanna talk it out"?

Me:"no,but I'd like to see a doctor"
Him:"wait,did you just say you wanna see a doctor? oh,okay. Singaya ngoku if u ready"
Me:"I'm ready"
Him:"but first you'll have to eat cereal"
Me:"I'm not hun-"
Him:"that was not a question,iza ndik'nxibise i takkie"
Me:"I uhm...thanks but I think I'll wear my slippers"
Him:"remind me to buy you flops on our way back"
Me:"akho need,but sure"

I fixed the bed,wore slippers and followed behind him. My feat didn't hurt that much now,but
umzimba :o . He made the milk lukewarm and gave me cereal,he made himself instant Jungle
Oats satya right after that we headed to see the doctor and because we did not think of making an
appointment we had to wait in line. Ngoku sihleliyo pha I could feel within me or rather sense that
he wanted to reach out and say something but he didn't know how to? Or if ndizomphendula na so
to clear the thickness that was building up I spoke first...

Me:"umama zang' abuze nto when you took the kids to her"?
Him:"uhm... I couldn't exactly take them myself. Mo took them to her"
Me:"but you called her...right"?
Him:"yeah I did,she didn't ask but bend'zoxoka anyway if ebebuzile"
Me:"I miss them"
Him:"I'll go fetch them xa u strong and ready"
Me:"and I wanna go home"

Akaphendula...Then it was our cue to go in,waphakama k'qala wand'linda sengena emnyango so I

walked in first and sat on the bed,he sat on the chair next to the bed

Dr:"Good day,I'm doctor Lauren Xavier...how can I assist you today"?

Him:"uhm..my wife has been through some...babe khacacise"
Me:"I feel weak doc,my uhm urine is strong and itchy and my entire body is painful"
Dr:"okay,lets run some tests and take it from there"

She gave me a small container to urinate in,ran some blood tests then she saw the bruises on my left
arm wand'jonga but didn't ask,Ntando was suddenly impatient

Him:"so when can we get the results"?

Dr:"inbetween ten and fifteen minutes sir so long you can wait here,I'll be back"
Him:"oh"

She left with the samples to be tested,giving us yet another moment together and I still wanted to
know nd'goduka nini mna

Me:"baby you haven't answered me"

Him:"we'll talk about that endlini"
Me:"ooh"
Him:"aw'lambanga"?
Me:"ha.a but nd'cela undiphe amanzi"

He got up and went to pour me a glass of water,I drank half and kept the glass between my clutched
hands

Me:"I don't remember asking you,how have you been"?

Him:"I'm a man,I servived"
Me:"cummon babe"
Him:"nyhani nje,I can't complain. And,ubungekho so there was no one to complain to"

The doctor came back sathula...

Dr:"Mrs Ntabeni,you seem to have contracted an infection which is the cause of your irritation when
you urinate. I have prescribed these antibiotics and vitamin Bco for you"
Me:"thank you"
Dr:"take this bottle and drink three times a day then tomorrow drink this one along with these two
tablets"
Him:"what are these for"?
Dr:"she's a little bit dehydrated so these will help hydrate and relax her at the same time numb the
pain she feels allround"
Me:"tjo too many pills,can't I just have a needle or drip maybe"?
Dr:"you will,but you have to take those too"

I looked at Ntando to speak for me wathula sana umntu wam,this woman said I should undress
uzanditofa entsuleni :'( I hesitantly obliged

Dr:"don't worry,you'll drink these once-off tomorrow after you've had breakfast"
Him:"thank you doc,where do we settle the bill"?
Dr:"at the front desk sir"

Ndaphakama and fixed myself when she was done

Me:"so we're done"?

Dr:"yes,if you feel any side-effects pls don't hesitate to come back"
Me:"on extra charges"?
Dr:"in the next two weeks,no dear"
Him:"well thank you"

She smiled and gave a bow as we left to settle the bill then sangena emotweni.

Him:"how you feeling"?

Me:"I just wanna sleep"
Him:"you'll be fine...right"?
Me:"andiguli Ntando,can you just stop stressing okay"?

Wathula,I lay my head on the headrest ndacimela feeling guilty... I really didn't mean to scold at him.
He started the ignition waqhuba

Me:"ndicel'uxolo babe,I just.."

Him:"its cool I understand,aw'funi Milkshake before we head home"?
Me:"if nawe uyay'funa then akho problem"
Him:"you know zinto zakho ezo nje"
Me:"haike we can go home"

He drove to Steers,bought two Choc'Milkshakes sagoduka. I went to lay in bed leaving him to put the
shakes in the fridge,he came to join me...but wahlala ezantsi kwe nyawo and massaged one foot

Me:"babe"
Him:"hm"
Me:"nd'cela uze ngapha"

He left my feet and came to the upper side of the bed,said he should remove his jacket and lie on his
back,as he did so I removed the tracktop and then I got ontop of him...my body relaxed on his as I
closed my eyes,blocking any images of the past few weeks. I just needed to feel protected,my body
on top of his seemed to give me just that. Or atleast I thought it did

Me:"andik'sindi"?
Him:"hm.mh,aw'funi okombatha"?

I pulled a shawl and covered us,he pulled the corners for full coverage. I lay my head ndakhe
ndacimela for a minute,for once in a long while I was really feeling protected. Safe.
Me:"You know,I knew you'd come for me. I didn't know when,but I knew you wouldn't rest until you
had found me"
Him:"the hardest part was imagining what they would do to you as the days were just prolonging"
Me:"it was hard yaz? Uz'gqibela ukwi restaurant with your perfect little fam now suddenly you're
locked up in some abandoned home or warehouse with your husbands baby mamas. But Just...
Thinking of you and my sons gave me faith that I will see you guys again. Our love kept me going"

Again I was crying...

Me:"and...I heard what you said when they wanted ransom for Chuma. Thank you"
Him:"ssh,lets rest"
Me:"I love you Ntando"

He kissed the crown of my head and whispered an "I love you even more" ndalala. That injection
was surely working.
...

I woke up feeling really hugry,it was like amathumbu am are tied in a knot. I lifted my head,he was
also sleeping...deeply. I figured he also needed this rest,I doubt ebelala oko ndemnkayo so I slowly
got off the bed and went to the bathroom ndaphuma esalele I went to the kitchen and looked for
food,there wasn't any so I took my shake and drank half gqiba ndapheka. Xand'pheka the last pot he
came down,I felt his hands on my waist and his lips on my neck

Him:"why didn't you wake me up"?

Me:"usuke walala kamnandi nawe"
Him:"the doctor said you should rest"
Me:"I was hungry njena"

He kissed my cheek before letting go and taking his own milkshake from the fridge the wahlala and
just watched me.

Him:"Titus has been calling you"

Me:"which one"?
Him:"Lwandiso"
Me:"inoba uyand'khumbula, zange kwagqitha ixesha elingaka singathethi"
Him:" he's back"

I turned ndamjonga,thought ndimve rongo

Me:"what"?
Him:" Soso is back"
:o
...oh-kay.

353

This Soso thing being back in the country wasn't sitting well with me at all. Why now? I know he
loves me but he wouldn't come back all the way from Portugal because maybe he heard of what I've
been through. Uzobe eve ngabani khona? I know Ntando wouldn't tell him anything though. Well I
didn't think he would. Maybe he came back for something more important,family maybe.

Him:"baby"?
Me:"hm"
Him:"you're awfully quiet"
Me:"I'm just thinking"

I dished up for the two of us in one plate then I put the food infront of him

Me:"masitye"

He took two spoonfulls wayeka and just looked at me

Him:"ucinga lento ndigqiboy'thetha ka Titus"?

Me:"yeah... I'm just wondering why he came back so soon"
Him:"ooh"

He knows why.
I could hear it in his voice but I wasn't gonna start asking questions which would brew an argument
and eventually pick a fight right now so I just continued eating,he did too sincokola njee. When we
were done I washed the plate and went to sit elounge,he followed wahlala right next to me. I lay on
my back with my head on his lap and my feet on the end armrest

Me:"yaz bendikukhumbula nyhani babe,aw'na idea wena"

He smiled,bent down and kissed my nose-bridge

Me:"There was a point where I even missed your voice,scent,hands,arms ...uyaw'ze undixelele lento
wand'tyisa yona wena serious"
Him:"ndakutyisa or wena watyisa mna babe"?

I lifted my head and kissed lips

Him:"you know I'm happy that you're home,I just don't know how to explain it to you"
Me:"hearing you say it is enough explaination"
Him:"I... And'yaz' ingas'ke ndinifihlephi nonke,somewhere I know nizoba safe even if andikho"
Me:"is that why ungand'phenduli ngoku bend'buza ngogoduka"?
Him:"yeah"
Me:"but ndi safe e Bhayi,and I need to get started on my business ventures"
Him:"baby there'll always be time to do that but we can't buy lost time...right now I wanna take care
of you as I promised I would when I married you"
Me:"you've d-"
Him:"you don't know what a husband goes through when he knows his wife is at the mercy of the
perpetrator...please,just this once let me take care of you ndixole"

Ntando doesn't speak like this under normal circumstances. Utheni ngoku wathetha kabuhlungu
ndaz'bona send'lila even

Him:"at some point I felt weak you know,until I remembered the risks you've taken for me"

I wasn't sure of what to say...I just touched his masculine face,it pained me when it dawned to me
that ebengatyi notya,he had lost weight :/

Him:"I love you. You alone. I don't believe ukhona omnye umntu endinoze ndimthande the way I
love you,these past few weeks confirmed that andinabo nyhan' ubomi xa ungekho caleni kwam
mamzangwa"
Me:"this means a lot to me... I've never heard nor seen you so vulnerable baby. I'm sorry you had to
go through that too...but in a way I am grateful this happened because it has brought us much
closer"
Him:"so nd'cela uhlale apha just until ndibe sure you can be safe alone,you know akhonto uzayi
dinga"
Me:"so I'm allowed ba nditefe throughout my stay here"?
Him:"anything you want,you will get. As long as it is not someones head"
Me:"Ndiyak'thanda kodwa shame"
Him:"ndiyak'thanda nam"

I sat up,flung my arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as a kid would hug a teddie. He
tickled me to get off him just then :/... His phone rang,he held me by the waist wasabela

Him:"Polo"
Marc:"Bossman,hoezit"
Him:"goed en jy"
Marc:"lekker,how is my sister"?
Him:"she's recovering pretty fast my nigga"
Marc:"that's good,pls tell her Liz is coming to see her we tried calling her phone without success"
Him:"alright"
Marc:"shot"

He hung up encumile :/ creepy

Me:" and that smile"?

Him:"Eliz'bee is coming here"
Me:"God no"

Wand'hleka and got up wabuya nee Oreo biscuits

Me:"kuthwa uzothini babe u Lizard apha"

Him:"uzok'bona tchin"
Me:"yhu"
Him:"be nice okay,she also needs a friend."
Me:"you make that sound serious...too serious"
Him:"she hasn't been herself lately,uzambona nawe babe maan"
Me:"I guess Marc is still cheating on her then"

He looked at me quizzically...

Me:"she told me some time ago"

Him:"mmh,I just hope you don't give her a hard time. She really needs a friend"

Ndamjonga :/

Me:"you know who he's cheating with,don't you"?

Then there was a knock...waphakama wayovula. Came back with her

Me:"what the f-"

Then I saw Ntando's eyes warning me not to finish that sentence I bit my tongue..

Me:"ahem,hey Liz"
Her:"hey"
We hugged wahlala phantsi,I followed suit Ntando left us. Jonga I couldn't believe my eyes,Elizabeth
wasn't Elizabeth man. She looked like a grown ass woman,waaaaay older than her own age.

Me:"uhm,want a drink"?
Her:"yes please"

I went to the kitchen ndamgalelela I took a bottle of water

Her:"thanks...so how are you"?

Me:"I'm good,you"?
Her:"same here"
Me:"what happened to you? Why are you dressed like this"?

Wathula

Me:"Liz"
Her:"pls Tee,I just came here to check on you"
Me:"dressed like this? What happened to you?"

A tear trickled down her cheek wayosula as quick as she could

Me:"don't tell me you're neglecting yourself because of my brother"

Her:"what's the point though"?
Me:"heee! Honey,at this rate I don't blame him. Look at yourself,which man would want to pick you
out of a crowd and showoff"?
Her:"I don't care anymore"
Me:"then why are you still with him if you don't care"?

She took her drink wasala

Her:"he gave me his card said we should go out,if you're up for it"

Ndakhe ndamjonga
Nc nc nc.... How do you neglect yourself kanje maan? Just because a man found fresh pussy nawe
usose uz'yekelela kengoku? I seriously didn't blame Marc shame,she was a mess but my worry was
that she was still inlove with him even though he was deliberately hurting her emotionally. How
does a young sophisticated mother of one dress in flipflops,jeans and an oversized floral chiffon
blouse sogqiba aye on the other side of town? No make up? Hair is messy AF! Chipped nails? Mnk!

Her:"did you hear what I said"?

Me:"yeah...uhm,sure"
Her:"great,we can take my car"
Me:"okay lemme go and tell my husband upstairs. 'll be right back"
Her:"cool"

I went to my bedroom,Ntando was lying upside down on his back,feet up against the wall busy on
his tab,I walked in and sat next to him

Him:"she's gone already"?

Me:"no uhm,we're going out"
Him:"that's a good start"
Me:"I don't really wanna go but and'funi ibengathi ndimphakamele"
Him:"it will do you good"
Me:"trust me,she needs it more than me. Yhu angakhala no mamakhe xa enombona enje"
He laughed,I took out my sneakers ezi bendizithengelwe andafuna uzinxiba kwa gqirha,wore secret
sock nazo then I went to kiss him wand'nika i card lakhe

Me:"we're using Marc's"

Him:"take it,just incase ulidinge...and your phone is in the charger"
Me:"oh thank you,I might just call Soso xasise town"
Him:"have fun"
Me:"Is that even possible nalomntu ndihamba naye na babe"?

I took my phone ndahamba ne card lakhe,got down saphuma no Liz saya e V&A told her we had
shopping to do ndamqala kwi lingerie shop,I also picked a couple of items since impahla zam zonke
zise Bhayi,when we left the lingerie boutique ndamsa kwa Legit,Identity and The Fix...then I
remembered to call Soso while Liz was in the fitting room...:

Him:"ta Beast"
Me:"hey bheyibhi"
Him:"he- wait what?! Tee? Uphi? How are you? Gosh andsadwabi. Mfethu I miss you"
Me:"ndilapha e Town,feeling better and I miss you even more uph' wena"
Him:"ndse flattini,are you in town e PE or here eKapa"?
Me:"Kapa babe"
Him:"yhu nd'yeza. I'll call you again"
Me:"oh-"

He had hung up already.

Me:"-kay".

I picked ezam impahla and called my husband :p I wanted enye i takkie that I saw sidlula kwa Total
Sport

Him:"babe"
Me:"hey babe,ithin' limit yam kanene"?
Him:"ayikho babe"
Me"u sure love"
Him:"100%"
Me:"ndiyak'thanda vha"
Him:"love you too,ungalilibali xesha le medication neh"
Me:"I won't"
Him:"ayt 'njoy yourself"
Me:"sure"

Ophuma kwethu kwa The Fix we went to Edgars for perfumes and cosmetics I took Heat by Beyoncé
coz lo bend'sandomthenga awukho apha (perfume yam yase busuku) then I bought cosmetics coz
toiletries ndinazo... I noticed Liz was just watching me

Me:"why are you not buying anything"?

Her:"makeup is expensive Tee,I can buy it cheaper somewhere else"
Me:"did my brother give you a limit"?
Her:"no bu-"
Me:"then you are buying makeup here,we still have to go to the spa and hair salon so you better
loosen up,ndincedana nawe here"
She reluctantly started picking up items,ndamshiya for a few minutes ndabuya ethathe
nendingakhange ndiz'thathe. We went to pay,then I went to buy my takkie saya kwi spa for full body
massages,reflexiology,facials and nails

Me:"you're paying for this ke Liz"

Her:"its your brothers money,what can I say"?

Good.
We moved to a hair salon ndam'yeka wangena k'qala kanti that was the last vacant seat. I told the
hairdresser to put on hair relaxer gqi kwam ndayomkhangelela i weave kwelinye icala ndabuya nayo

Her:"oh my God,that looks so beautiful Tee"

Me:"I'm glad you like it,its for you"
Her:"for who? I don't have that kinda money"
Me:"but your boyfriend does"
Her:"no no no,I can't I'm sorry. Marcus will freak out when I get home Tee pls"

I just gave the lady who was doing her hair ezanwele bendiz'phethe ndayokwenziwa ezam. Ndithe
ndisa dry'wer ndeva kuphikiswana ndazobizwa I went to her side

HD:"your friend doesn't wanna put on the weave"

Liz:"Trina look at my hair,my hair is fine the way it is. I don't need this and besides, I don't want
Marcus on my case about misusing his money"

I have never seen umntu omuncu njengalentombi in my life :/ well except my husband during the
Chloe saga but that doesn't count here. I pulled her aside,remembering that Ntando said I shouldn't
be hard on her but also remembering that no Marc wakhe wathi mand'thethe naye lo Lizard wakhe

Me:"you need to pull yourself together okay? Marcus gave you that flippen card on purpose,now
use it. Do you think he likes seeing you like this? Dirty and trampy? Huh? Do you think he likes
cheating on you? Cummon man fix yourself! Kuthen' uphalele nje Elizabeth? If you don't stop acting
like this you will loose him to some tramp who won't take even a second of hesitation to spend this
money in this card on trips across the globe ube umuncu apha wena surviving on government
money yakwa Correctional Services,open your damn eyes and take your stand or be a flippen lizard
and loose your man. Your choice"

I left her ndayokwenza eyam intloko ngemali yomyeni wam. Tchini!

#354

Tchin!
Unjan kanti u Elizabeth? I put on 16" black Brazilian with closure ndaphuma egqibile ukwenziwa
naye.
Me:"now you have to change,pick an outfit and go change in the bathroom"
Her:"are we not going home now"?
Me:"we're still to grab a snack with Soso,and he can be mean so do yourself a favor"

Soso called...

Me:"mtase"
Him:"hey,undaw'ni"?
Me:"s'linde kwa Spur siyeza"
Him:"uza nabani"?
Me:"Elizabeth"
Him:"as in Lizard? Since when are two you besties"?
Me:"we're not,but we can talk about that later"
Him:"okay,nikhaw'leze ke"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and Liz came out :D she wasn't over dressed as I thought she would be. She nervously
stood there waiting for my approval in ripped faded skinny blue jeans,white cotton cropped top and
blue-white hightop sneakers.

Me:"wow"!
Her:"I look better"?
Me:"oh my word you look great,do you know a shop where we can buy confidence"?

She laughed...blushed even

Me:"you look gorgeous. Now chin up,and lets go to meet Soso"

Her:"yes ma'am"

We walked to Spur,Soso saw us first waphakama,we walked to each other and hugged. The hug was
intense. Then briefly hugged Liz as we sat down

Him:"you've lost some wait kodwa mtase,unjani"?

Me:"I'm okay...you look good"
Him:"am I supposed to say thank you"?
Me:"I don't really care,but,what I do care about is what are you doing here"?
Him:"you said we'd meet here"
Me:"Lwandiso what are you doing in South Africa? What happened to you being Portugal for two to
three years"?
Him:"how are you Liz? You look great by the way"
Oh?
Her:"I'm good Soso thanks"
Him:"good...so what are we having"?

I looked at Soso.
So he's really gonna brush me off? Just like that huh? Mh.

Her:"I'm not really hungry,I think I'll just take onion rings and chocolate milkshake"
Me:"are you pregnant"?
Her:"what? No"
Me:"onions and milkshake? Are you sure"?
Her:"they're fried onions Tee,and besides,they almost taste like meat"
Me:"yet they're still onions. Mh,I just want soda"
Him:"eshe,anisadiki are you guys on a diet"?
Me:"no we've eaten already"
Him:"oh"

We made our orders zafika satya,As we made conversation Soso literally avoided the Portugal topic
so I let it slide....okwangoku coz I was so gonna find out noba kunini.
Akhange kube kudala mos sihleli pha just having a general conversation when Marcus Smith walked
in with i dark beauty,that woman has curves for days and she was way more beautiful than Liz. Like
waaaaay more. She wore a mini dress and platform heels making her reach up to Marc's broad
shoulder as they walked beside each other.Soso saw them first wand'jonga ezothetha but I shook my
head we continued as if nothing happened then I suggested we leave coz kwindawo ebebehleli kuyo
it would be easy for Liz to spot them...
Xasizodlula kubo kuba sizophuma,Marc got up esabela i phone their eyes met wakhamisa and looked
from Liz to me for a few seconds then he hung up kwalo phone

Him:"Liz...you look...stunning"
Her:"thanks to your sister"
Me:"she means thank you"
Him:"wow...babe flip man. I'm speechless"

Yaphakama sana intombi ka Phalo yasijonga sonke then tug her arm under Marc's who was now
uncomfortable

Her:"babe,is everything okay"?

Me:"babe"?
Marc:"Linda,can you give us a minute,pls"?
Her:"okay love,I'll order so long"

She went back to her seat,I folded my arms across my chest and looked at Marc waiting for an
explaination.

Soso:"babe lemme call you again noba kungomso man"

Me:"oh you're leaving already"?
Soso:"ndileqa uLindo she just texted mtase,aw'kazo hamba apha mos"?
Me:"ha.a. We'll talk"
Soso:"sharp,sho ta Marc...bye Liz"
Her:"cheers"

Then the focus retuned to Marcus

Him:"I won't even ask,I can see you guys had fun"
Her:"yeah,you can have your card back thank you"
Him:"no keep it and maybe buy something for Booboo too"
Her:"are you sure? I mean,I've wasted enough of your money already"
Him:"cummon baby don't be like that"

Wanyaba nalo wancumancumeza, ndiqond'ba uyandicaphukisa kwa yena ingas'ke ndimvuthulule

ngempama utheni wangathi bamtyela iyeza na?

Me:"who is she"?
Him:"she? Oh that's Linda"
Me:"I heard that already,who is she to you"?
Him:"whao wait,Tee,you do understand that I don't have to explain myself to you right"?
Me:"well explain yourself to Liz"
Him:"okay lemme make myself clear lil sis,I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I'm a grown man
incase we missed that part"

Linda came up again...

Her:"babe your food is getting cold"

Him:"I'm co-"
Me:"Linda,right"?
Her:"and who are you"?
Me:"pardon me,where are my manners? I'm Marc's younger sister,Trinalique. And this is his wife,the
mother of his son, I mean heir, Elizabeth"
Him:"wife"?
Linda:"you have a wife"?

Even Liz was shocked...

Me:"he didn't tell you"?

Linda:"no...and...you're his sister? How? You don't look like a white person"
Me:"mmh sweety no offence intended but that's none of your business. Anyway,have fun with your
bae...we still have more shopping to do. Come Liz"

Liz took the card walifaka in his shirt pocket

Wanyoshoza naye right behind me,Marcus just looked at me in awe wathula he was tongue cut. We
reached the parking lot and packed our bags in her boot in silence

Her:"lemme drop you off at home"

Me:"you okay"?
Her:"yeah"

I nod and got in the car,she drove me home ndohlika ne bags zam,hugged her ndangena endlini.

Me:"baby"?
Him:"kitchen"

I put the bags on the couch,removed the takkies and walked to him wearing my socks :D things
kids do. He was wearing harem pants and a vest, barefoot...cooking.I hugged him from behind,kissed
his neck ndasuka and sat on the kitchen counter with my legs crossed

Him:"mmh aw'semhle mamakhe. How was shopping with your skwiza"?

Me:"not as bad as I thought,guess she just needed a lil push to the right direction"
Him:"mmkay,did you meet with Titus"?
Me:"yep...right before we bumped onto Marc and his other chick"

He turned and looked me... No emotion whatsoever! Atleast shock would do you know? :/

Him:"wanjan' uLiz"?
Me:"I don't really know yaz,she didn't say much"
Him:"hm"
Me:"what are you cooking"?
Him:"pap and stew"
Me:"mmh"

He stirred his pot with a wooden spoon and gave me to taste

Me:"mmh,this tastes delish babe"

Him:"glad you approve"
Me:"you know I could've just cooked for you"
Him:"wanted to spoil you,one night won't hurt then you can cook everyday for your husband"
Me:"mmh"
He lowered the stoves and came to stand infront of me,opening my legs so he stood between them.
Automatically my arms went around his neck,his around my waist

Him:"I've been thinking..."

Me:"bout what"?
Him:"you"
Me:"mmh thats nice,which part of me exactly"?
Him:"hay hay baby,keep a clear mind"
Me:"babe what am I supposed to think or say when you,my husband,say you've been thinking about
me"?
Him:"babe you're naughty"
Me:"learnt from the best"

I kissed him,slowly and seductively then stopped and smiled at him

Me:"you were saying"?

Him:"oh yah,you know having studied law you only work by being hired or opening your own
firm,right"?
Me:"right"
Him:"so seeing that I don't want you to work for a man,what do you suggest we do"?
Me:"so let me get this straight, you want me to work for a woman"?
Him:"man,woman k'yafana nje kum. I just don't want you to slave for a mere human whereas you
could be your own boss"
Me:"well as you know besendiy'fumene i building to start a business of my own"
Him:"the building is too big for one operation you know,so what kind of businesses did you have in
mind"?
Me:"internet café,boutique and an African cuisine-like restaurant"
Him:"okay,now that's interesting. Can you pull it off"?
Me:"I think so,I just need to take a course of business management ndiqale nge café coz it will draw
people. Then the restaurant"
Him:"once those two are up and running you will have to go back to varsity"
Me:"to learn designing for the boutique yes"
Him:"an alternative nje xa uqala on that venture is imported clothes"
Me:"yes,that will require traveling,even the restaurant will too"
Him:"mmkay,but first we should go to PE nextweek to see what we can start up with"
Me:"but I thought you said ndizohlala apha for a while"
Him:"asizohlala e Bhayi,we're going on a business trip when we're done we'll come back together"
Me:"yes sir"

He kissed me,biting my bottom lip

Me:"z'yatsha iimbiza"
Him:"yho"

He turned off the stoves,I got off the counter and went to take my shopping bags upstairs. I returned
to him but he was no longer in the kitchen,he was now in the lounge. I joined him on the couch,my
legs on his lap

Me:"where's my second phone"?

Him:"Isendlini"
Me:"PE"?
Him:"yeah... I meant to tell you,u sis Fats is now in East London helping umakhulu"
Me:"that's a good thing,I was worried 'bout her financially"
Him:"I kinda guessed that... So,what shall we do with ourselves"?
Me:"what do you have in mind"?
Him:"baby I don't think you wanna know what's on my mind"
Me:"mmh nam yaz'...but,I could hear just a little bit"

He came close and kissed my cheek once,then again but a bit lower,the third kiss landed on my neck

Me:"oooh... I see,but, that will have to wait"

He kissed the chin,I giggled

Me:"baaabbby"!
Him:"why"?
Another kiss on my dimple

Me:"because..." I slowly pushed him back and got up ndamjonga with the most loving smile

Me:"you have to teach yourself how to ask,contain yourself and wait. I'll be back"
Him:"hah! Babe..."
Me:"love you too"

I went upstairs and ran myself a bubble bath,returned downstairs and went to look for wine in the
fridge but there wasn't any so I went to him and stood at the entrance leaning

Me:"baby,aw'na wine"?
Him:"ayikho e fridge"?
Me:"ha.a"

He got up and went to the cellar,I waited for him to come back..he returned with two bottles

Him:"red"?
Me:"please"

He poured me a glass wand'nika I made way up the staircase

Him:"wan't company"?
Me:"nope,you can dish up so long"
Him:"that's not fair"
Me:"life aint fair honey"

I reached the room,undressed and went to soak myself in those bubbles with my red wine. I drank
half and closed my eyes,my hands touching the most sensitive areas in my body. I've been in draught
for what a month or more,counting the months before my husband returned home and that was
before I was kidnapped. My nipples had hardened...
I drew in the scent circulating the room with my nostrils,it reached deeper places.. God!

355

I took another sip of the wine and played with it in my mouth,rolling it over around my tongue for a
couple of minutes before swallowing. I lathered my skin with the foamy water,twisting and pinching
at both my nipples at the same time. The sensation that built up is unexplainable, I let one hand slide
down my lean front straight between my thighs. For a second I kept my eyes closed and held my
breath,the middle finger went in first rubbing over my mound up and down. The index finger
followed opening it up while rubbing,the pleasure bean was hardning,my breath shortening and the
pace going faster each second until I couldn't compose myself anymore. I released the pleasure
juices with a soft moan ndakhe ndaphefumla,I downed my wine and came out of the water,drained
it and cleaned the bath ndaphuma. I lotioned,put on the exotic Heat perfume to set the mood right
then I removed a tag from one lingerie set and wore it,I had also bought fluffy cuffs for a little
play,but I know my husband will never freely agree to be cuffed nje. The lingerie cupped my boobies
nicely,making a sexy cleavage;the all laced plum matching underwear had a V cut out just above the
crack of my butt making it even sexier,I wore his gown over all of this and then I went to join him
downstairs for dinner.

He had dished up in one plate yet again,I guess siya siy'qhela lento yotya kunye. I sat cross him and
took my spoon,my legs slightly parted ndatya,he was watching me or just gawking at me :/

Me:"what's up with you"?

Him:"mmh your perfume.."
Me:"you hate it"?
Him:"no...its...sexy"
Me:"well thank you,now lets eat"

He took a spoon,took about three then stopped

Him:"khaw'zohlala ngapha baby man"

Me:"I'm okay right here thank you"
Him:"pls"
Me:"babe itya or nd'zakutyela mna"

He got up and came to sit next to me,he took no more than two spoons ndambona send'bamba
bamba even playing with my hair

Me:"Ntando uhluthi"?
Him:"no"
Me:"then why are you not eating"?
Him:"but baby how am I supposed to eat xa und'vimba"?
Me:"ndikuvimba njani when your food is right infront of you"?

He watched me eat,watched me with lowered eyes,haha damnit lendoda! I smiled,bit my lip...he

swallowed :v

Me:"wanna feed me"?

Him:"I'd love to"

I put my spoon down and waited for him to feed me,he came closer our thighs touching then fed me
three spoons wayeka. After I swallowed I waited to be fed again was'ke wand'phuza.
I couldn't push him away right now but I wanted him to beg for it coz I could see how badly he
wanted it he couldn't even hide it,to add on that arousal...the atmosphere was already thick and
heavy around us. He pulled me towards his lap so I sat sideways,we continued kissing as he got up,
picked me up and lay me on the couch comfortably...he continued with the kisses, seductive kisses,I
removed his vest and threw it aside. He unwrapped the gown and stopped,I saw a naughty look in
his eyes and immediately slipped away from under his legs ndema ecaleni kwakhe with my hands on
the hips
Him:"b..b..baby"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"uyaphi ngoku"?
Me:"I need something sweet... Do you perhaps have berries"?
He looked at me in disbelief and a bit of disappointment, to my satisfactory.

Me:"mmkay,mandiz'khangelele"

I catwalked my way to the kitchen,went to the fridge and searched for cream first. Found whipped
cream and untouched punnet of strawberries,xand'jika he was right behind me. I walked up to
him,kissed his lips lightly brushing and breathing unto them and then stepped away just in time
before he could grab my waist ndamshiya apho taking my time walking up the stairs

Him:"Nalique"
Me:"hm"
Him:"Babe uyaphi"?
Me:"nd'yolala,its been a long day and I'm tired"
Him:"hay baby what about me"?

I stopped at the top stair,turned ndamjonga with a half-bitten strawberry in my mouth

Me:"hm? What about you? Awuzolala kanti wena baby"?

Him:"ndizolala njani babe uZ'khali ehleli"?

I faked a confused look,he pulled down his pants exposing his full hard-on. I smiled naughtily,cocking
my head to the side as I slowly finished my strawberry

Me:"make him sleep and come to bed"

Him:"Luu..."

I turned and walked to our room,removed my shoes and lay on my back on the covers waiting for
him to come in... It was only 5 minutes prox wangena,ungena kanye xandiphinda ndinxhuza i
strawberry kwi cream

Me:"babe I need a favour. Or two"

Him:"anything"
Me:"nd'cela ifoot rub"
Him:"second favour"?
Me:"I need you to be my guinea pig,just for a few minutes"
Him:"sure"

He walked over to my already apart legs,took one foot up to his lap and began to rub in silence .

Me:"want a berry"?

He shook his head ejonge phantsi,I knew I got him nyhani. He knows he's my weakness but today I
have been able to resist his charm and that must be hard for him to take in. He looked up and
smiled,it must have clicked to him that I was tryna make him suffer

Him:"I like your lingerie"

Me:"I bought it with you in mind"
Him:"I hope to help you take it off,the way its too tight it might be hard to"
Me:"mmh,sobona"
He took another foot and massaged it...when he was done I waited and watched him very closely

Him:"favour number two"

Me:"yeah,pls come this side. And lie down on your back"
Him:"oh-kay"

I moved so he could lie down in the middle, he lay uncomfortably on his back

Me:"yiba comfortable kalok love"

Him:"why exactly am I doing lying here kanene "?

I sat on him,my legs on both sides,I kissed him while spreading his arm to reach one corner of the
bedpost then I took the cuffs from under the pillow and cuffed him engacingelanga wothuka
wand'jonga. Just the shock and uncertainity in his eyes turned me on

Him:"is cuffing part of the favour"?

Me:"relax,you'll enjoy it"

I slid down an stopped at his knees,took my berries and cream planted em all over his broad muscled
torso. Taking my time I licked each one off his body and chew until three were left,I picked one up
ngomlomo and gave it to him. Mouth to mouth. He obliged but wanted to go for a kiss I moved
away,picked another one up ndamphinda and again I got away without kissing him. Caba
undimincela qha uz'xelele ba akazothetha,when I took the last berry and fed him mouth to mouth he
bit my lip,sucking me in and his free hand held me firmly close to his halfnaked body I could feel his
erection

Me:"mmh'aby"

He stopped sajongana,his eyeballs red okomntu o high!

Him:"khayeke ezi games babe and help a nigga out"

Me:"patience is a virtue babe and any good nigga should have that attribute"

I got up,went to the bluetooth speaker next to our bedroom entertainment system,turned to
Beyoncé's album on my phone to play via the speaker and the first song it played was "Dance for
you"

Me:"baby sit up,put a pillow for support and watch your bae dance for you"

He sat up,one hand still tied watsala umqamelo with the free hand ndala cream wandbukela as I
danced for him.
I got on the bed and grinded on his crotch,his hand touched my ass I removed it

Me:"no touching"

I continued with my dirty dancing,planting a kiss now and then on his chest,adams apple and neck. I
looked straight into his eyes as I slowly unclasped my bra,slowly took it off and threw it aside. I felt u
Z'khali rising up to attention coz I sat on his territory which made it possible for me to feel every
movement. I cupped my boobs and gave him the puppy look

Me:"would you like to uhm... Lick 'em"?

He nod
I went forward and slipped a nipple in his lips and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the sensation. He
started off by rolling the nipple around his tongue,the minute he started sucking I started dry
humping and grinding on him... I changed and gave him the other one,I swear I had a wet spot on my
undies the way I was horny and on top of that I enjoyed watching him straining to contain his hunger
and lust. When I was satisfied I let go off him,went down on him and removed his pants and boxers.
Ndajamelana no Jojo uZ'khali u buTsolo bentonga ngenkqu... I touched it,moved my hand up and
down,again up and down then licked the tip and looked at my husband. I got off the bed and slowly
removed my underwear revealing a clean,freshly shaven wet pussy. I returned to the bed but not to
his soldier,I squatted on his face and let his tongue do the talking and goddam did it talk. He did
flipbacks...magics I say,in no time I was the one panting,screaming begging. I slid down,kissed him
and tasted my juices...at the same time sliding his member up my palace. He filled every
corner,curve,edge. I let out a moan as I settled on him with my eyes closed and hands on his torso.
Gawd!
I rode the nigga like I'm riding a bicycle,faster with each stride until I came ndasuka kuye knowing
fully well asikagqibi

Him:"Nalique..."
Me:"mh"?
Him:"uyaphi ngoku"?
Me:"I am done"

He tried sitting up wand'jonga engath' angakhala,kanti ke apho bend'siya khona bend'yokhulula la

cuff

Him:"hayi baby this is not fair,khand'jonge. This is cruel punishment"

Me:"so you want me to continue"?
Him:"baby cummon now"
Me:"then ask nicely...beg for it"
Him:"hau Luthando,why umenza lento umyeni wakho"?

Ntando and begging? Never!

I uncuffed him,yho yangath' kudala end'fungele. He sat on the edge of the bed with his feet touching
the ground then he grabbed my waist,sat me ontop of him with legs on either side of his naked body
wangena u Jojo yangathi kudala!
We found a rhythm and stuck to it,his head between my neck and shoulders licking,biting and kissing
all at once. Now we embraced our hunger for each other,it was beyond our control.

He went at it,grinding, humping,groaning (with pleasure) until the beast in him was satisfied. Now I
wanted my husband to make love to me,now that the naughty raunchy lust and fantasy was taken
care off I needed some TLC... He began kissing me tenderly still inside me,we began moving in
unison now my moans were filled with love. Kudala sayenza lento but tonight He gave me his soul
and I gave him mine.

#356

I lay my body on his,claiming my spot and took a deep breath drawing in the sexual aromas. His one
hand was on my ass,the other brushing hair out of my face

Him:"how long have we been together? Yet tonight you've shown me a side I've never seen in you.
Nor have I ever thought you had"

I smiled to myself,kissed him where my head lay ndathula,satisfied to a point of no return. He lifted
my chin,we shared a kiss for a minute ndambona ba uncumile
Me:"babe go to sleep"
Him:"I can't...wena ulala njani"?
Me:"babe 'm tired"
Him:"babe cummon,just one more"
Me:"hm.mh"

I felt his erection hardening so I moved off him but lay my head on his arm facing the other way,he
also turned,seductively kissing and biting my neck a couple of times

Me:"mmh Ntando"
Him:"please"

His kisses were making me wet,I swear I hated him for doing this to me just when I thought I had
won :'( . I felt his hand touch and squeeze my boob sending electricity to my arousal nerves,I
moaned. He moved closer lifting up my leg and entered from behind,breathing a slow yet shallow
breath as he bit the earlobe my hand automatically went behind me pulling him closer by the thigh.
He groaned.
Deeply.
His hand squeezed one more time I gasped for breath as the hand left my boob and slid down to the
cookie jar. For a second I held my breath waiting for his next move and then when I was slowly
releasing my breath he slipped a finger in I bucked

Me:"Nta-aah"

He started rubbing slowly as he pounded from behind,I moaned throwing my head back as he went
faster on both areas and then stopped.
Me:"baby don't do that"
Him:"hm"?

I was heaving for breath :o

Me:"pls don't stop"

He bit my neck and went on until we both came,I turned and faced him lifting my leg onto his
body,with my hand I guided his member in and looked him straight in the eye biting the corner of
my bottom lip; his entire body stiffened...he grabbed my ass pulling me closer to him,I clung for dear
life as we peaked together and hit another wave of pleasure. Slowly...
Our breathing steadied but we maintained our position,making it easier for me to kiss him

Me:"you're so cruel"
Him:"that was pay back"

I didn't bother asking why I just closed my eyes and gradually drifted off to sleep right in his arms but
I did feel his kiss on my forehead

I woke up first the following,wore his vest and went down to make us breakfast and Cape Town
weather was permitting us to stay in bed the whole day :/ but I knew that was 80% impossible,his
friends will call him ndisamandelwe kuhlala naye. I made a mushroom and peppers omelette,mini
cheese grillers,Jacobs black coffee for him,Freshpak rooibos for me with toast. When I was done I
took the tray upstairs ndafika esalele,I put the tray down next to him and planted a kiss on his cheek
he turned wancuma a creepish smile,grabbed me wand'phosa on the bed. I was laughing
uncontrollably as he tickled me,my feet were in the air,I rolled over to the other side of the bed and
landed on the floor,still laughing

Me:"ha.ana babe mas'yeke ngoku"

Him:"s'yekile,buya"
Me:"first promise you won't tickle me,amathumbu am ab'hlungu"
He was on his knees on the bed,he laughed and shook his head,I made a puppy face my legs crossed
and my hands pulling his vest ngaphambili

Me:"baby"?
Him:"I promise"

I walked over,he sat down on the bed and took the tray satya

Me:"you overslept,so unlike you"

Him:"you fed me well last night,blame yourself"
Me:"haha! Oh? Uyacaca aw'qhelanga uthandwa kanjan"

He stopped halfway from drinking his coffee wand'jonga wahleka

Me:"what? Its true nje"

Him:"where did you learn all those things you were doing last night"?
Me:"you like"?
Him:"you're not answering the question"
Me:"am I supposed to"?

He looked at me watya,you know I was happy that I have managed to keep him smiling from the
moment he woke up until now.

Me:"so baby daddy,what do we do today"?

Him:"erh right now when we're done here I have to attand a meeting with a client then I have a
meeting namajita,other than that we can do whatever you feel like"
Me:"what time is your meeting,and how long will it take"?
Him:"an hour prox,eyamajita and'yazi ke"
Me:"mmh"

He looked at me reading my mind

Him:"we could go together kule ye client if you want"

Me:"ha.a babe you can go,I'll find something to do while you're gone"
Him:"okay I want to go with you"
Me:"baby pls,you don't have to babysit me. Go meet your client ubuye qha"
Him:"oh... I had already promised the guys siyadibana namhlanje though"
Me:"its fine"

I sulked...

Him:"if you don't want me to go to them they could come here"

Me:"nyhani"?
Him:"yeah"
Me:"then its settled"
Him:"but...we'll have to go together so that we can buy a few things wenzele amajita a few snacks"
Me:"uyand'cela neh"?
He smiled nod
Him:"yes,please"
Me:"alright,eat up siyovasa"
Him:"uzovasa nam"?
Me:"I need a recap of lastnights romance so why not do it under a warm shower"

He stopped eating and looked at me,giving me the hungry look

Him:"I like how your mind works"

Me:"now eat up"

We ate finish I took the tray down leavin him to make the bed,I quickly washed the dishes and went
back up to him,he was already in the shower so I just undressed and went to join him and as
promised we relived the deeds of the previous night. When we were done we got out sanxiba,he
wore a navy Chino,white shirt and navy suede formal shoes. Jonga ndakhe ndema ndamjonga...
He turned and looked at me with his cologne in hand

Him:"babe you're starring at me"

Me:"awusemhle"
Him:"heee haikengok"
Me:"dude! You look handsome AF! Maaan"!
Him:"baby nxiba"
Me:"Ntando you're formally dressed,without any help? Nigga You can't really blame my reaction
though"

He kissed me... And moved away :'( the cologne! I heard myself whispering an "Oh God" he
laughed wagqibezela unxiba. I composed myself and got dressed in blue skinny jeans,an oversized
white vest and flops then I pulled my hair backwards and neatly tied a pony... Minimum make-up
and gloss ndagqiba.

Me:"done"
Him:"flops"?
Me:"yep,can we go"?
Him:"ubungasando gxeka u Elizabeth ngonxiba i flops kanti"?
Me:"akho comparison whatsoever ke kodwa,remember how she looked? Now look at me. See the
difference"?
Him:"point made madam,we can go"

I took my phone and followed behind him... His muscles kule shirt :'( I wanted to rip it
off,s'trubob! I locked the house,kept the key and got in the car next to him as Ivor drove us out. We
made conversation until he had to get off,he kissed me,a deep one then smiled as he opened his
wallet

Him:"Here's the card"

Me:"what exactly am I buying"?
Him:"anything you're going to need for the snax"
Me:"kay"
Him:"sharp"

We kissed again wohlika and left,we drove to the shopping mall ndayothenga ezizinto then Ivor took
me home.
I first marinated the pork and chicken wings for braai then I made finger snacks and punch. Marc
called

Me:"big bro"?
Him:"hey,can I speak to Liz"
Me:"speak to Liz? She's not here"
Him:"so you're telling me she didn't sleep at your place"?
Me:"wait,did she say she slept here"?
Him:"no man,she didn't come home last night"
Me:"I don't blame her"
Him:"don't start. Pls not now"
Me:"I'm not starting nothing, I have enough going on in my own life to put my nose where it doesn't
belong"
Him:"ayt,later"
Me:"sharp"

He hung up,I dialed Liz

Her:"hello"
Me:"hoe gaan dit"?
Her:"lekker dankie"
Me:"waar is jy? Jou maan soek jou"
Her:"ek is tuis met my ma en my kind,Marc het gister gebel maar ek wou nie met hom praat'ie"
Me:"I'm just glad you're safe"
Her:"I'm a big girl Tee,thank you for checking up on me"
Me:"ayt"

Well I continued minding my own business...then I remembered Lwandiso. I called him...

Him:"mtase"
Me:"you sound preoccupied"
Him:"just gimme a moment"
Me:"okay"

I waited
And waited
Until he was done

Him:"okay,done. Whats up"?

Me:"I'm home alone khazond'buthela"
Him:"ikhona inyama"?
Me:"it needs to be braaied"
Him:"text me your address or GPS coordinates"
Me:"I could ask my driver to come fetch you"
Him:"oh wow,okay, mandizothathwa ke mfazi"
Me:"alright see you just now"
Him:"sharp"

I called Ivor and gave him Soso's address wahamba wayomthatha. Jonga lanto yangena nges'gezo
kwasemnyango
Him:"mk,awsengo mlungu yintoni kangaka"?
Me:"haibo what have I done"?
Him:"you have a driver now?"
Me:"eshe really now? Khawuyekane nam uyokwenza umlilo qha wena"
Him:"where will I find the braai stand"?
Me:"at the back,by the poolside"

He took lighters and left,waphinda wabuya

Him:"your house in PE iyayogqitha lena"

Me:"bachelors apartment lena kaloku"
Him:"yhu ha.a i shady"
Me:"and bare in mind that this is not a family house,mine is"
Him:"yeah whatever,so where's the meat"?
Me:"is the fire ready"?
Him:"no kalok I'll marinate is so long while waiting for amalahle"
Me:"I've done that already,help me make these snack platters qha wena"

He went to wash his hands then proceeded... I waited for him to get busy ndizombuza the same
question he dodged the previous day

Me:"so are you back for good"?

Him:"no ndiyahamba again next week"
Me:"mmh,you know you never really told me why you came back in the first place"
Him:"how many people will be eating these platters"?
Me:"so just like yesterday you will brush me off? Again"?
Him:"yhuuu idrama! Sisi please breath,okay? Breath"

He continued with what he was doing oko ndimjongile,Ntando walked in just as Soso was going out
with the bucket with pork. He looked suspiciously at me,came to give me a kiss waphinda wajonga
emnyango

Him:"did you two fight"?

I ignored him

Him:"Luthando"?
Me:"he doesn't wanna tell me why he came back"

Soso walked back in ezokhangela isitya sokhuphela inyama

Him:"kengok anizothetha ngenxa yalonto"?

Soso:"ignore her ta Beast,she'll get over it"
Me:"oh,so he knows why you're back but you can't tell me? Mna Soso"?

He took a big Tupperware waphuma,I looked at Ntando,looking for answers. He swiftly picked me
up,put me on the empty space on the counter...kissed my lips and spoke in the softest of all tones

Him:"he helped me find you,just give him time. Oko ebengekho right"
Me:"helped you? Who Soso? How? But that doesn't make sense"
Him:"remember you said I should never underestimate him"
Me:"I know"
Him:"well when the weeks passed ndingakwaz' u tracer eza calls I decided to call him,wabuya asked
help from his dad and thats how we found landawo nanikuyo"
Me:"so he couldn't just call his dad ese Portugal"?
Him:"His dad doesn't know bekuncedwa thina,he fabricated some story"
Me:"kengok i drama? But unjan u Soso na baby"?
Him:"put yourself in his shoes,u traumatized u Titus babe"
Me:"ooh"
Him:"but I've arranged for him to go back nextweek"

... I didn't know what to say.

357

Him:"okay lemme change,the guys will be here any minute"

Me:"hmm"

He kissed the side of my head and went upstairs. Soso walked in nenyama that he had already
braaied,he took the marinated wings

Me:"Ntando told me"

He stopped on his tracks,turned,put the bucket down and with a sigh he came to join me around the
counter

Me:"thank you"
Him:"you don't have to thank me,we're family. Remember"?
Me:"no let me thank you,I know how important Portugal is for you and for you to just up and leave?
Means a lot to me"
Him:"I've always told you I'll always be here for you so when ta Beast called,I really had to come
back especially since he's not the typa guy to ask for help from anyone. Let alone me"
Me:"he's human too,and he has feelings. A heart you know"?
Him:"and you love him,so I had to help him just because you're involved"
Me:"I'm grateful. And so is he"
Him:"argh man,its also a bonus nakum I got to see umntu wam sooner than I thought"
Me:"mmh, but uzokwenza njan' ngomsebenzi kengok"?

He exhaled...and chuckled

Him:"dude your man is Superman,he's actually friends with my manager so everything is smooth.
Nextweek your pilot is taking me back so work continues"
Me:"haha Superman? Yeah right. Look,I know this could be paranoia speaking,but I noticed that
you're a bit off"
Him:"yho uqalile ke,khaw'me uzaw'de ucime lamlilo"
Me:"so there is something else"?
He got up...
Him:"ay'siso esas'bhanxa sakokwenu u Gundagunda? Yhu"
Me:"Gudda? What did he do"?
Him:"more like what he didn't do"

He took the wings and left,I covered the platters and went to my husband ndafika enxiba

Me:"baby umgqibele nin u Gudda"?

Him:"erh... I'm not sure. Why d'you ask"?
Me:"I think there's something he said or did that may have upset Soso"
Him:"have no idea baby"
Me:"mmh"

I got up ndahamba
He called out after me

Him:"Luu"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"come back for a sec' pls"
Me:"ha.a and'funi"
Him:"I want you to keep something for me"
Me:"keep it in the safe or something"
Him:"baaaby"
Me:"your babies are in East London"
Him:"so you're not my baby"?

:v I wasn't planning on saying anything.

I went to the kitchen and cleaned up,put the snack platters where they will easily find them. Ranger
walked in with two cooler boxes

Him:"Boss lady"
Me:"Ranger"
Him:"u grand"?
Me:"great you"?
Him:"I'm good,look I just want ice from the freezer"
Me:"help yourself"

He went to a freezer in the corner of the kitchen,I've never opened it :/ I just didn't think it
worked and then he took out plastics of ice waphuma nabo. I just continued cleaning up then
ndayohlala e lounge with my phone,I heard cars coming in ndayazi nje kuzoba sembhuqeni apha and
at the back of my mind I knew we'll be lucky if there are no shootings or fight breakouts:/ sad reality.
Ntando came down dressed in black and gold -_- what's new kanene?
He came to the lounge while I was talking to Lindo obebuza u Soso

Me:"don't you wanna come over"?

Her:"I don't even know where you guys are bro"
Me:"I'll send you a driver,use Res or e flattin"?
Her:"flattin outside"
Me:"I'm sorry Lee,I didn't know you guys had plans"
Her:"its cool"
Me:"just gimme a few minutes evha? The driver will be there now now"
Her:"okay thanks"

I hung up and looked up at bae who was as curious AF!

Him:"uzoyothatha ban u Ivor"?

Me:"and why were you listening to my conversation"?
Him:"sorry madam, uzaz'valela apha or you'll join us"?
Me:"Lwandiso will keep me company"
Him:"okay ke,I'll be outside if you need me"
Me:"sure,pls call Ivor for me"
Him:"sharp"

He turned to walk out...

Me:"Ntando"?
Him:"yhu"!
Me:"aren't you forgetting something"
He searched his pockets and looked me confused

Me:"tchi I want my kiss fondin"

He laughed and walked back to my couch,I lifted up my lips to him he kissed me,I bit him wahleka
pulling me close as we kissed passionately then he walked out still laughing

Within a few minutes Ivor walked in,I asked him to go fetch Lindo and buy us bread or rolls too
wahamba.

Soso returned with the meat,went to put it in the kitchen and came to join me ephethe i carry pack
ye Hunters gold

Him:"iyavusa i beast xa iz'xelele neh? Banembhadla or what"?

Me:"its just a meeting"
Him:"just a meeting? Lamajita ahamba nama cherrie onke"
Me:"ubucingeni kwi thugs Soso,xa ujongile izokwanela i nyama"?
Him:"I don't know,iphi eyethu? Coz asizotya namagintsa singengawo ke wethu"
Me:"take your pieces from that one but we'll grill enye"
Him:"lemme start marinating ke xa utshoyo"
Me:"uhm... Lindo is coming"
Him:"Lindo? Why"?
Me:"apparently you two had plans,she called you didn't pick up"
Him:"oh shit! I totally forgot"
Me:"so I kinda figured you won't mind her coming here too that's why I asked Ivor to fetch her"
Him:"dude you saved me from a lot of bickering tonight"
Me:"suth' omnye uya bickerisha Soso"

He chuckled and went to the kitchen,Marcus came in looking yummy :p

Me:"niqqa you look Hot"

Him:"thank you,thank you. You don't look bad yourself"
Me:"haa,whatever"!
Him:"I just came to holler at you lil sis"
Me:"mmh I bet you came with that other chick huh"?

He chuckled and shook his head,I knew he didn't want to answer that question

Me:"how long have you two been doing whatever it is that you're doing? Are you even serious about
her"?
Him:"can we not discuss my lovelife asseblief"?
Me:"okay,one last question"
Him:"you'll ask anyway"
Me:"so what happens between you and Liz"?
Him:"I don't know,depends on what she wants"
Me:"how so"?
Him:"she's the one who left with my kid and returned to her mother without telling me"
Me:"hah boet! It was just one night"
Him:"I don't care,she should've atleast called or texted"
Me:"and if she returns and wants to try again,make peace I mean"
Him:"I got no pro'm wi'that but it will have to be on my terms"
Me:"mnk! You wouldn't survive in a relationship with me,s'trubob"
Him:"luckily for me we'd never be in one"

Watsho ephakama.
Him:"lemme join the men"
Me:"ayt"

He left,Lindo arrived we hugged and chat for a while before her man came with our meat

Him:"my person,awusemhle bae"

Her:"khaw'ze nenyama Lwandiso wethu"

Hahaha!
Bayafana!
He put the tray down and went to kiss her cheek wand'jonga

Him:"what are you guys having"?

Me:"just water pls"
Lindo:"ikhon' i red wine"?
Me:"yep"

He went to fetch our drinks,three ladies came in without knocking and just looked around,Lindo
looked at me then back at them wavela waphela yintsini. Judging by their outfits they had come with
the gents outside... U Soso xa ebuya ne glasses wathi gqi ngabo be mayamayaza

Him:"nilahlekwe yinton' bantwana bam"?

1lady:"caba uthe wos'jonga wabona abantwana"
Him:"haike Thixo wase Kapa, she didn't"
1Lady:"wait,uyi moffie bro?"
2Lady:"sithunywe ku mntu walapha,awunos'bonisa yena"?
Him:"heh! Mnk,kanti ke iza Bawo"!

He left them standing there wazohlala phantsi asabuza nto nathi satya sizincokolela. They decided to
walk over to the lounge

2Lady:"we're looking for a person by the nam S'bosh or Trina"

Lindo:"look'ani kaloku"
1Lady:"sorry nana,do you know who we're looking for or unengxaki mhlaw'mbi"?

Thriller walked in,passed them and looked at me

Him:"Mrs"
Me:"sho"
Him:"kuthwa manditsho unike ez'way ii platters nenyama"
Me:"kitchen"
Him:"dankie madam"
He motioned for these ladies to follow him,bamlandela murmuring

3Lady:"akasemhle Aico"
1Lady:"mxm,beautiful my ass. She could have just told us ba ziphi ezizinto siz'funayo kunini sime
apha"
2Lady:"she's got too much pride"

I could hear Thriller reprimanding them,Soso looked at me I told myself andizothetha tu. Thriller
waphuma nabo with everything they needed.

Lindo:"basile ke"
Soso:"wah matha mtase ndikuncamile"
Me:"the day is not over yet,thul'ubheke mtase"
Soso:"kukho lo une razor cut ingaske ndimfake iskera segusha"
:v

We just minded our own business,Soso drinking his beer,Lindo her wine and me my water. Liz
called...

Me:"hi"
Her:"hey, hoe gaan dit"
Me:"goed,met jy"?
Her:"so-so,ek hoor al die mense is daar in jou huis"
Me:"yeah,its a meeting they say"
Her:"is jou broer met daai Linda chick"?
Me:"ek's nie seker,eintlik ek weet'ie"
Her:"jy weet nie"?
*sigh*
Me:"die mense is buite kant mos soos altyd,ek het net Marc gesien want hy't gekom om sy suster
hello sê"
Her:"okay,ek het jou broer gebel maar sy antwoord nie sy foon nie"
Me:"waar is jy nou"?
Her:"ek is buite na ons huis,mxm you know what,ek kom nou na jou huis"
Me:"oh"
Her:"see you just know"
Me:"alright"

We hung up

Me:"Soso khand'bizela u Marcus mtase,like right now"

Him:"whats up now"?
Me:"Liz is on her way here"
Him:"yhuuwi shit is about to break down,u Marc uhamba nala black beauty"

He went out,returned with Marcus who was half tips already

Him:"baby sis"
Me:"nigga get your head straight,Liz is coming here with your son"
Him:"why"?
Me:"I think she doesn't have a key,and,you're not answering your calls"
Him:"mmh,thank you for the heads up"
Me:"sure"
Waphuma owasekhaya umtana not phased one bit,I knew shit was about to go down. Liz had an
atom of anger on the phone... And I couldn't blame her

Lindo:"I don't think your brother cares about this Liz chick"
Me:"and'soyiki bro"
Soso:"bantu bam,I need the real 411 on this so lemme just vanish for a few minutes. Ndizobuya"
Me:"and where are you going to"?
Soso:"outside,le drama i juicy too much"

He opend another can waphuma ngomnyango,from those three ladies that came in earlier two
ladies returned
2Lady:"uthi uta Beast masikhutshelwe ii paper plates from the mini corner cupboard"

Yangathi akathethi,she just stormed out leaving lo ebethule kwak'qala looking lost. She came back
with Ranger he just went to the cupboard,gave them these plates and came to us

Him:"Tee,nd'cela nibancede abantwana baya khalaza that y'all ignore them"

Me:"you too help 'em and teach them manners"

#358

We chilled for a couple of minutes no Lindo sizincokolela nje, her asking me about abantwana I
figured Lwandiso didn't tell her about my little vacation so ndam'beka kulendawo sekuyo nam
andayitsala. I vaguely heard a car nd'se kitchen making us snacks but I didn't make much of it since I
know abantu baka Ntando have cars,that's comon sense,but then I heard raised voices from the
back yard and screams. Lindo jumped from where she was and went to see what was happening. I
initially thought ngu Liz,causing and being dramatic with Marcus or the side chick so I didn't pay
much attention to it until I heard a gunshot I froze. Soso ran in closing and locking the door behind
him,I waited till he appeared from the passage with Lindo right next to him.
Me:"what's happening out there"?
He looked at me and shook his head,Lindo was shaking terribly

Me:"Soso"?
Him:"Gudda is happening out there"
Me:"Gudda? What the hell is he doing here"?
Him:"gate crashing ta Beast's party. Wait,kanene you said its just a meeting? Yaaas,he is crashing
that. The meeting"

I put the snacks down and wiped my hands...

The noise wasn't or hadn't subsided

Me:"uph' u Ntando"?

Lindo looked at me...

Her:"Tee bro I don't think its safe for you to go out there"
Him:"your husband ordered me to lock you inside"
Me:"hm"

I left them and went upstairs to the safe in our room,opened it and took out his gun. It felt heavy
though,heavier than I remembered so I percieved that it was fully loaded. I took a deep breath,said a
short prayer ndafaka lampu esinqeni emqolo,wore sneakers and the top of that trackpants
ndaphuma nge backdoor. Xand'fika phandle kuthe saaa, tables,chairs,papers and people kuyafana
nje. I scanned the area with my eyes and spotted Ntando. He was not too far from me but he
couldn't see me because my dad... Wait,Bonginkosi was right infront of him. I couldn't hear their
conversation but I witnessed my husband recieving iimpama ezimbini from ta Bongs. Ingqawa
yazamnkela njengendoda ayagungqa kwa ugungqa,on the other end of the yard Marcus spotted me.
Our eyes met and I could see he was begging me to go back inside and for a second I was considering
that until I saw ta Bongs cocking and pointing a gun at a super chilled Ntando. I walked out of my
coverage straight towards them,Marc knew akanobasathini by now and to make matters worse I
could now hear them

Bongs:"ndiyakubona ufuna ukundazi kwedini,kunini ndithetha into enye kuwe ndisithi hlukana
nomntanam"
Beast:"nam kudala ndithethe into enye ngoba ndakuxelela nje Ta Bongs ba ndokwehlukana naye
mhla ndabhubha"
Bongs:"good,aw'zobhubha uzokufa njenge nja ke namhlanje"
Beast:"you seem to have forgotten that Beasts don't die,they injure"
Bongs:"lets allow this one bullet to prove that"
Beast:"go ahead"

I heard a "click" from the gun...

Me:"that bullet will have to go through me"

Ta Bongs turned,his jaw dropped as our eyes met then he tried to compose himself. I passed him
and went to Ntando,for a minute I thought he wasn't fazed as I touched his cheeks,soothingly
massaging,rubbing 'em then I lifted my lips unto him and we kissed. He held my waist,slowly moved
one hand under the tracktop and felt the gun but that didn't stop the kissing. I did. I turned and
looked at Bonginkosi,now I had taken my stand next to my man who I must say was now either
shocked or dumdfounded for a couple of minutes

Bongs:"Sibongile"
Me:"wena naban"?
Bongs:"I have told you countless times that he's not good enough for you"
Me:"as much as you're not good for me as a father,right"?
Bongs:"mntanam..."
Me:"atleast he has some good in him even if it aint enough. What about you"?

Gudda and Anelisa came to join us,now why thd hell would they decide to bring her to a gunfight?
Though I must say she did kinda look like their puppet. Som'how

Me:"yeh Ayabonga yi chaos yanton' le niyenza apha"?

Gudda:"and'sengo bhuti ngoku? Sendingu Ayabonga nje umlomo ugcwale"
Me:"hay fokof ukhona ubhuti owenza ezizinto zimuncu uzenzayo emzini womntu"?
Bongs:"let me tell you something,this man you are standing up for will chew you until you no longer
have taste and throw you on the side walk to be trampled on by pedastrains "
Gudda:"just like he did to me and Anelisa your sister"
Lisa:"what? We're sisters?
Gudda:"yes"
Lisa:" How"?"
Beast:"In 5 minutes I want all of you out of my yard niye kwa SABC if nizodlala u family bonds,not
apha kwam"
Bongs:"ungakulinge undiqhele kakubi mna kwedini,yindlela yothetha nam leyo"?
Me:"heee wethu mfana,why does it seem like you're forgetting where you are? You are trespassing"
Gudda:"Trina,mtase mamela. I know ta Beast more that anyone here, don't play into his fucken trap.
He doesn't love you,he is manipula-"
Me:"will you shut up Gudda? Yhu,uthetha ngath' uyinkazana maan"
Lisa:"will someone,anyone just fucken tell me why the fuck Gudda said Trina and I are fucking
sisters"?
Me:"honey I aint fucking with you. Now,Gudda nawe ta Bongs khaniz'ncede and collect that small
amount of dignity esenishiyeke nayo niphume apha"
Bongs:"is this how the Smiths taught you to speak to your elders"?

Ranger and some of the guys came to where we were standing

Me:"Ranger,pls help them out"

Gudda:"Sibongile don-"
Me:"you,shut the fuck up"!

I pulled Ntando by the arm and led the way to the front door...he let go of my hand and held my
waist, came closer to my ear as we walked towards the door and whispered:

Him:"what are you doing with that gun"?

Me:"I don't know"
.
.
"STOP RIGHT THERE"!
We turned and Gudda,his father and four other guys had their guns pointed to us. I looked at
Ntando and searched for Ranger..he was at the gate,but three other guys from Ntando's crew were
behind them maybe they didn't see them I don't know.
I spoke between my teeth:

Me:"so what do we do now"?

He cleared his throat having seen the fear in my eyes then he looked at his rivals

Him:"so Gudda you have grown some balls to finally point me with a gun"?
Gudda:"ta Beast bro we both knew this day would come,I don't wanna do this just release my sister"
Him:"you speak as though I've held her captive"
Bongs:"Beast"
Him:"Ta Bongs"
Bongs:"kudala ndishumayela into enye...and today that stops. If blood must spill then so be it"
Him:"careful what you ask for"
Bongs:"its clear that the only language you understand is the spilling of blood"

Within a few seconds we were surrounded by the Beast nation with guns ready for any action that
might occur,I looked around and realized that I have never,never ever seen so many guns in my life. I
mean big guns. Really big guns. I clutched onto Ntando's arm,he pulled me closer and I had a little
assurance that maybe,just maybe I could be safe. Marcus penetrated through the thick circle of
muscled men with big machines and walked up to me taking me by the arm I immediately left my
husband without even thinking twice

Bongs:"Marcus,you better not take another step"

Him:"oh so you are a shepherd? You know us by name"
Marcus Smith continued walking,umntasekhaya ube sober nge minute I swear. Like,instantly
akwabikho tywala egazini lakhe waphaphama wa ready to fight,he wasn't even staggaring.

Bongs:"Let go of my daughter or you'll wish you hadn't crossed me"

Him:"make me"

We continued walking briskly,I heard gunshots about three but none directed to us. At first I tried
turning but Marcus' hand pushed me until we reached the door. He knocked two times Lwandiso
opened,ndangena and they closed the door Marcus left. I walked past everyone and went to my
room,locked myself in my room and paced up and down panicking then sat down trying to gather
myself but it was hard not to think about the war outside. To even think that aba bantu benza yonke
lento are my blood relatives,my biological father and his offspring.
My brother's out there,my husband is out there... The only people who have my best interest at
heart were in a gunfight ngenxa yam.
I heard a knock and just ignored it,yaphinda

Him:"mtase ndim u Soso vula"

Me:"I don't wanna talk bro pls go away"
Him:"then we won't talk sojamelana qha"
Me:"Khaw'hambe Lwandiso maan"
Him:"andiyindawo ke"

I got up and returned the gun to the safe,went to wash my face and opened for him wangena,closed
the door behind him.

Me:"ufuna ntoni"?
Him:"ungakulinge ke ugulele kum"

I sighed...
And took my phone and dialed his mother...

Her:"hello"
Me:"unjani"?
Her:"I'm fabulous baby how are you"?
Me:"I don't know..."
Her:"hay what's wrong now"?
Me:"your brother and his kids came gun-crushing my husband's meeting and now there's guns every
where apha"
Her:"hay man Trina,niphi nina"
Me:"endlini e Kapa"
Her:"ok khaw'me nd'zophinda ndikufounele just now"
Me:"kay"

She hung up,her son spoke up

Him:"Maka Laa"?
Me:"yeah,maybe she can talk some sense into him"
Him:"mmh"

We sat in silence...just for a minute

Him:"skwiza wakho ukhona"
Me:"uze nomntana"?
He nod

Me:"mxm"
Him:"she needs to move on"
Me:"well I'm not gonna get involved,I have my own problems"
Him:"wish I could say I'm sure she doesn't expect you to"
Me:"what do you mean"?
Him:"I kinda get the idea that she thinks you should or rather you're supposed to help her"
Me:"help her? Ngantoni"?
Him:"getting Marcus back"
Me:"mxm,I don't have to do anything. Marc is a grown man,he's allowed to make decisions for
himself especially his lovelife"
Him:"try explaining that to her,she's been ranting and raging oko"
Me:"mntasekhaya,Elizabeth is the last person on my mind right now. I have a father who's at war
with my husband,I don't have time for people who don't wanna mature"
Him:"now that you're a bit calm,lets go down I'll make you a smoothie"

I reluctantly followed him out with my phone,once downstairs he went to the kitchen I went to the
lounge and there was Lindo,Liz and her son.

Me:"hey"
Liz:"hey,you okay"?
Me:"yeah,what are you doing here with a child Liz"?
Liz:"I told you I was coming nje"
Me:"I thought you'd consider your sons safety first though"
Her:"my son is safer where both his parents are present"
Me:"okay"

Soso gave me my smoothie,someone went to knock on that front door ndaxhuma,Lwandiso went to
open I followed right behind him and then Ntando walked in followed by his crew. I don't know how
I let go of the smoothie nor how I pushed past Lwandiso but I saw my arms automatically flung over
his neck and we hugged.

Me:"I'm so glad you're okay,are they gone?"

Him:"lets go upstairs"

359

Oh-kay
He led the way,I followed and closed the bedroom door behind me. He was closing the windows and
curtains,I suddenly felt my heart beating faster so I sat down trying to conceal my sudden fear not
sure whether I feared him or whatever it was that he was about to tell me.
He stood at a distance giving me his back so in my mind I thought unomsindo because I took his gun
so I just blurted my apology, even blabbering...

Me:"baby look I'm sorry I took your gun,I really don't know what I was thinking. But if you must
know,I immediatly replaced it back to its rightful place"

Again he was silent...

This scared me.
So I slowly walked to him,touching his back I went around and stood infront of him. He was indeed
angry. No he wasn't angry he was livid,he was furious. I touched his face and got closer to him and
whispered as my hand went from the cheek to his veins standing out on his temples and forehead

Me:"hey"
He merely looked at me
Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"mh"?
Me:"what's got you so angry kanjena"?
Him:"you need to start packing,Mo is pro'ly on his way"
Me:"packing? Ndiyaphi"?
Him:"uya eBhayi"
Me:"Ntando andiyindawo mna without you okay"

Sajongana...
Him:" I will follow,but right now I have to finish up this thing yenzekileyo"
Me:"I'll wait for you"
Him:"Luthando I'm trying my best to ensure your safety here okay?,I don't have time for what you're
doing"
Me:"okay okay,I understand your frustration but baby I am even much more safer here with you
than alone eBhayi"
Him:"I told you bakhona abantu abazokujonga,just pack and go. Please"
Me:"I don't wanna leave you behind especially with this anger,you might end up killing somebody
Ntando please"
Him:"the only person I'm gonna kill is Gudda,okay? Now I need you to go to PE right away, this place
is not safe for you. Can you just do as ba ndisitsho without arguing"?

I took a step back...

The way he roared those last words showed me that ukucenga kwam won't do no good so I nod and
started packing. I packed everything while he sat down on the edge of the bed with his head
between his hands

Me:"I'm done"
Him:"I'll call Ivor to take you to the airport"
Me:"I want you to take me to the airport"

He lifted his head wand'jonga quizzically

Him:"what"?!
Me:"with everything that's going on you're trusting Ivor with my life? Really"?

He got up and took my bag without saying another word,I followed behind him. Downstairs I hugged
Soso coz ebeme ngase mnyango

Me:"Ivor will take you home,we'll talk on phone"

Him:"besend'founele uMusa chap"
Me:"okay sharp,bye Lindo"
Her:"cheers"

We got in his car waqhuba,we were silent throughout the ride until we reached the airport and Mo
wasn't there he then turned off the ignition
Him:"ina icard ufike uthenge ukutya"
Me:"thanks"

He gave me his black card ndal'thatha and kept it safe ndathula. Sitting there for a couple of minutes
ndadikwa ndaphuma and stood next to the car just thinking
He came out and stood right infront of me,I looked down at our feet while he touched my arms
getting even closer I could smell his after-shave. He bent his head so our foreheads touched,I was
suddenly emotional

Him:"I also don't want you to go,but its for your own good"

I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and out just as his hands moved from my arms to
both sides of my face

Me:"how...how far is Mo"?

Him:"he'll be here any minute,now look at me"

I lifted my head and looked at him,he smashed his lips onto mine I shut my eyes and let him kiss me.
I had a lump in my throat,a piece of me wanted to beg him not to kill my brother but another part of
me questioned what good have they brought into my life eversince they found out we're family?
My hands automatically went behind his head and pulled him closer as we kissed my guilt away. I
stopped but didn't move out of his embrace

Me:"Promise me you won't get hurt kuyo yonke lento uyenzayo"

He kissed the bridge between my eyes

Him:"I promise I'll fly down to you once I've settled this"

I hugged him for a very long minute. Mo landed so I boarded and flew home,upon arrival in PE a car
was already waiting for me ndangena and was taken home. It was neat and clean,I didn't wanna
open windows just yet though beku stuffy but I was still insecure regarding my safety. I knew grocery
stores at Greenacres were probably flooded ngabantu and maybe that I could use to my advantage
and benefit. I changed shoes and wore pumps then called Vuyo one of my "guards" to go shopping
with me. Bafika bebabini I got in e back and called Ntando on our way just to notify him that I arrived
safely

Him:"hello"?
Me:"ndifikile"
Him:"sho,I'll call you later"
Me:"be safe"
Him:"sure"

I hung up and just rested my head until we reached the parking lot

Vuyo:"should we go in with you or sikulinde apha"?

Me:"masambeni"

We got off the car they followed behind me,once we got inside the grocery shop I pushed the
trolley, Viwe (the second) guy wacela undi push'ela ndamnika then we began our shopping ogqiba
kwethu they returned me home babuyela to wherever they were before I called them so I was left
alone unpacking the groceries. When I was done I took a yoghurt and went to sit on the couch then I
called Lwandiso
Him:"Mtase"
Me:"senigodukile"?
Him:"yeah,tell me what really happened"?
Me:"I don't know bro,Ntando just told me to pack ndiyahamba andikho safe eKapa nam ndapakisha"
Him:"he's angry...but not as angry as he was when you were kidnapped"
Me:"matter of fact is he's angry and I'm afraid he'll do something crazy and irrational"
Him:"he's a grown man,a gangsta Mntase let him make those decisions by himself. Don't stress
yourself"
Me:"you don't understand... He's my husband and I don't wanna loose him to some stupid family
feud"
Him:"you won't loose him,he's probably been doing this usancanca ibele ke wena so chill your ass
off"

I was expecting that to come up,Soso akaz'bali izinto amakazithethe kanjani.

Me:"akekho traumatized umntu wakho"?

Him:"kancinci nje,she'll be fine. Uzotefa ngamandla qha"
Me:"u right atefele wena and uyahamba pretty soon so let her"
Him:"nd'bawela ukuya e Durban kemna kuyo yonke lonto"
Me:"friends are now more important than your woman"?
Him:"hay hay stop right there"
Me:"I'm just asking"
Him:"next you'll be comparing me to your husband. Asifani ke pause"
Me:"aw'muncu,ucing'ba ungafana no baby xabekutheni"?
Him:"ngu baby uqala nini indod'engakaya? I get that ngumyeni kuwe but I'm sure yi blesser
kwabanye! Tshi,Hay suziphambanisa wena"
Me:"fokof Soso bra"
Him:"hahaha! U green with envy,people share. Nawe you must know indoda iya share'ishwa"
Me:"yekaban' le ndoda izo share'ishwa? Ndakumcubha anga believe uNtando bro"
Him:"rha u possesive S'bongile"
Me:"tyhini Soso,are you trying to tell me you have a Portugese chick waiting for your return"?
Him:"ay'so sono eso mfondin"
Me:"uyamqhela u Lindo shame"
Him:"how many wives did King David have? 300. How many side chicks did he have? 700. Uyay'bona
ke"?
Me:"hay suka man"

The way he was laughing at me :'(

Him:"u ta Beast better keep in his lane,you're one feisty woman"

Me:"and if he doesn't he better be ready coz sizombulala sobabini"
Him:"heeee! Hay fire!"

Now I laughed at him

Me:"hay bye bye"

Him:"shap ntwana yam"

I hung up and finished my yoghurt,I didn't feel like cooking.

....
One week later Ntando returned,we went to see the building with his inspector they approved the
building then Ntando began sourcing for builders,I gave him my business plans and proposals as he
had requested when I first pitched this idea then I also began sourcing for interior designers to
immediately start right after the builders finish dividing it into the desired sections.
Yes I was curious about what happened in Cape Town after I had left but I knew not to ask,we
promised each other that I won't involve myself in his business even if it involves family but I was
kinda hoping uzond'xelela whenever he feels comfortable with it. Once the builders were done I had
to supervise the interior designing coz I wanted it to be perfect... For the café area I wanted a
wooden,earthy feel around the entire area so the walls were boabab wood,the floors were the
Kilimanjaro tiles. That was the first business to be opened in that building,the first attempt to draw
people to even come inside this abandoned building. Earlier on the last day when the designer and
his team were to recheck and make touch-ups kumsebenzi wabo he (Ntando) had just dropped me
off wahamba he had a business meeting to attend,so on his return ufika sekugqityiwe and
sebemnkile I was just waiting for him

Him:"wow,this looks beautiful. Warm,homely"

Me:"unlike a regular internet café neh"?
Him:"yeah,come here"

Walked right into his arms and blushed as he whipered a "well done" to my ears then I walked him
through

Him:"so when are they doing the restaurant side"?

Me:"I'm not sure coz my furniture hasn't been delivered yet,but tomorrow they'll start with the
boutique"
Him:"oh okay,I must say though...this is actually turning out better than I expected"
Me:"you need to have a little bit of faith on your wife"
Him:"but I do...100% "

I turned off the lights and locked,we got in the car sagoduka

Him:"there's something I've been meaning to tell you"

Me:"uyahamba"
He looked at me,I was looking at my phone

Him:"yes,and the kids want to come for holidays"

Me:"how long will you be gone"?
Him:"a month or two,I don't know"
Me:"uhamba nini kengoku"?
Him:"in a week"
Me:"mmh"

We drove into our house,ndohlika k'qala he followed right behind me as I went to take a bottle of
water from the kitchen

Him:"so....abantwana bangeza"?
Me:"if bazoza no sis Fats,as you can see I don't really have time in my hands"
Him:"alright"
He went upstairs.
By now he must have noticed that every time he has to go on a "mission" I get upset,deep down I
know angangabuyi. As I was still thinking about this...my phone rang:

Me:"Anelisa"?
Her:"I need to see you. Its quite urgent"

360

Okay.
I have to say I was kinda taken back,but knowing ba what kinda person she is,ndaz'buyisela
ezingqondweni

Me:"you need to see me? Do you know who you're speaking to"?
Her:"oh S'bongile please"
Me:"hay yhima,uyeke nini ukuthi Trina ngoku"?
Her:"can we meet e Waterfront in an hour"?
Me:"no"
Her:"no? Dude please"
Me:"Anelisa,uyakwazi kwam so xa u serious you will hike a plane and fly down to PE uze kum"
Her:"yho sew'se Bhayi"?
Me:"I think ndigqibo kutsho ngoku njena,u stress'wa yintoni kangaka"?
Her:"I can't talk on phone ndizozama ukuza apho"
Me:"okay"

She hung up.

Oh'kay,I left my phone and followed my husband upstairs ndafika elele :/ I wanted to cuddle and
have a chat'nyana nje. I undressed and went to shower,came out and looked for lingerie then wore a
gown over it ndayopheka. If akhange sixabane efika like we usually do,I try to make up for lost time.
Just doing the little things,serving him a warm home-cooked meal,dressing up for him and just
remind him that though Beast may have everything he needs and more, Ntando has only three
important things: a wife,a family and a home. That's all. Those are the only important and valuable
things in his life. I cooked finish and kept the food in the warmer gqiba ndayohlala e lounge with my
phone. I missed my sons so much :( I never wanted them to live with their granny in the first place
but ke now that sekwenzekile I either had to change it ndiyobathatha bahlale nam though I might
not have time for them but atleast bazobe bephambi kwam. Or better yet,I should accept it and
make good use of the time I have in my hands. I dialed my mother-inlaw...

Her:"yhu,umama wabantu akanqabe"

Me:"and'sabakhumbuli mama,ninjani? Abakuhluphi"?
Her:"sonwabile thina mntanam,ninjani nina"?
Me:"siyaphila nathi mama,kutheni kuthe cwaka,balele"?
Her:"haha hayi babukele oo popeye no S'nothando"
Me:"ooh,nd'cela ubeke iphone ku loud makhulu uyifake phakathi kwabo. I just wanna hear their
voices"
Her:"okay yhima ke"

I heard shuffling sounds,then a clear sound of Tom and Jerry soundtrack

Her:"ungathetha ke makoti"
Me:"Uvelile"?
Him:"ma"
Me:"uph' u Ubabalo"
Him:"mama"?
Me:"mntanam,mommy misses you so so much"
Both:"mamam! Mamam! Mama wawamba phaa! Mama zothatha Uba ye Ube yakho"
Me:"phariri,umama uzakuza vha? Azonibona no tata"

They were speaking together at once,I couldn't make out who exactly was saying what but I could
feel their excitement.
Sino must have taken the phone...

Her:"hello"
Me:"hey baby,unjani"?
Her:"ndiphilile mama unjani wena"?
Me:"ndiphilile nam"
Her:"we miss you,did daddy talk to you"?
Me:"ewe lovie,and akhongxaki"
Her:"thank you so much qha umakhulu shem uzosh'yeka yedwa"
Me:"she'll rest for a while kalok coz y'all will only stay approximately three weeks "
Her:"okay ke,uphi u tatam"?
Me:"he's sleeping"
Her:"when he's awake pls tell him I love him"
Me:"I will"
Her:"and I love you too"
Me:"love you too baby,now take the phone to makhulu"
Her:"okay"

After a moment I heard makhulu talking on the phone

Her:"makoti"
Me:"mama,uthi u tataka Uve oSino bafuna ukuza ngapha"
Her:"ewe bebetshilo, uzaw'tsho onwabe u Owe kunini encokola ngani apha"
Me:"u sis Fatima usekhona mama"?
Her:"ewe uzogoduka month end aphinde abuye"
Me:"oh okay ke sophinda sithethe"
Her:"okay ke mtanam,ubulise ku Ntando"
Me:"okay mama"

We hung up
I switched on the TV and watched FOX,I didn't wanna wake Ntando up he probably was really tired
but I missed him :'( so terribly much. I went back upstairs and took my laptop and his tablet eyam
ibingena data,I poured myself a glass of red wine and began working. I did research of where I could
get my supplies for my boutique,seeing that I'm no designer then on my laptop I designed/created
posters for the opening of the café...
I felt a kiss a kiss on my cheek,I could smell him and my joints weakened.

Me:"mmh,you're awake"
Him:"what are we working on"?
Me:"Research and poster creation,and ofcoz your input is always highly appreciated"
Him:"mkay,let me see"
He came all around the couch and sat down,I gave him the tab aqale ajonge ii suppliers for the
boutique ndamshiya and went to dish up for both of us and returned ndamnika okwakhe

Me:"so what do you think"?

Him:"zi grand,and they look legit"
Me:"yeah so I was thinking of making orders ngoku coz they take three to seven days to deliver"
Him:"that's a good idea,so uzokwehlula kanjani pha coz sikhulu esa space"
Me:"I told the deco people to gimme four different sections if possible for shoes,handbags,elegant
evening gowns and the casual section"

He nod
He went through a couple of other possible suppliers before taking his food watya. One,two spoons
wand'jonga smiling...

Me:"wha-"?
Him:"I missed this,home-cooked meals. Prepared and served by my wife"
Me:"oh baby,its only been a week though"
Him:"you wouldn't understand"
Me:"but I do enjoy doing this for you"
Him:"I heard you talking on the phone"
Me:"was talking to my babies"
Him:"ooh"

We continued eating,when we were done I collected the plates and returned with his whiskey on
the rocks ndamnika and sat next to him,just then my phone rang :) a call from Lulu

Me:"hey stranger"
Ntando eyed me :v

Him:"hey baby sis,how'zit going"?

Me:"I'm great how are you? How's our baby"?
Him:"haha we're fine,I wanted to tell you first. Me and my household are moving"
Me:"oh,where to"?
Him:"Cuba"
Me:"Cu-what? Why though? And when are you guys leaving"?
Him:"you heard me right,I will be working there permanently now,Sive is willing to move and start
afresh that side and,we're moving month end"
Me:"yho,I have to come to Jo'burg mos"
Him:"please do,I'll be selling the house so you guys need to come and collect your things"
Me:"ayt,I'll talk to my blesser and see if I can come this week"
Him:"okay,see you soon"
Me:"night"

I hung up and dialed Eve... One ring then it cancelled ndamyeka and put my phone down

Me:"nd'cela siy'e Jozi ngomso"

Him:"kukho ntoni"?
Me:"Luu is selling the house so I need to collect some of my things"
Him:"oh ndim le blesser yakho"?

I smiled and moved closer to him

Me:"aw'yiyo kanti"?
Him:"mh,I don't know. Convince me"
Me:"how"
Him:"show appreciation to your blesser"

I kissed him softly and looked deep into his eyes as I sat on one of his laps my body moved
seductively on his

Me:"so you wan' see my appreciation to you huh"?

Him:"uh-huh"
Me:"then buckle up homie"

I got off and went to play music on medium high volume and returned to him,I stood between his
legs and danced for him,grinding. I slowly removed the gown,slowly let it slide down my shoulders,I
enjoyed seeing the spark in his eyes as he saw my body looking yummy especially under the light. I
mounted him,removed his vest and started kissing him,his hands moving from my back to my behind
and grabbed so tight I caught myself exclaim in shock and excitement

Me:"is that appreciation enough? Blesser"

Him:"is that all you gat"?
Me:"mmh,careful now. You don't wan' get cocky on me"
Him:"or wha-"?

I unclasped my bra and slowly let it slide off then threw it aside.

Me:"or,you *kiss* will get *kiss* to see *kiss* but not eat"
I felt his muscles tightening and other places rockening ;)

Him:"you wouldn't dare"

Me:"you wanna bet,Blesser"?

He chuckled and licked his lips,I watched as his hands slowly made their way to my bossom. He softly
grazed the sides,lightly brushed the nipples I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation this was
sending to my nerves,then he untimely grabbed em both and looked at me... As if searching for an
approval. My eyes were half-open

Me:"I asked if you wanted to bet nah"?

Him:"my only thought right now is whether I should or not lick these babies"
Me:"you talk too much"

I moved closer,pulled his head towards my chest and enjoyed what he did with his tongue,with his
lips on my boobs and one hand tightly grabbed on my behind I knew he was also in the zone. I was
losing breath fast :/ I pushed him back and kissed him very deeply I just couldn't myself anymore
especially when we moaned in unison

Then my phone rang,I ignored it. His phone rang,we ignored it too. When the phones stopped,we
stopped too. I got up and picked my bra from the floor and put it on the couch

Him:"lets go upstairs"
Me:"hm,I have work to do. Go ahead I'll find you there"
Him:"cummon ba-"
Then a car hooted outside... We looked at each other and then to the coffee table where our phones
were

Him:"you expecting someone"?

Me:"no,you"?
Him:"no"

I checked my phone,the car hooted again -_- mxm

Me:"I think ngu Anelisa baby"

Him:"Ane- what is she doing here? This time"?

I took a deep breath

Me:"she called ngoku ubulele saying she wanna see me its urgent,I told her ndimkile so she'll have
to find her way aze kum"
Him:"phew,okay!"

He went to open the electric gate then went to the kitchen,I grabbed my gown and wrapped it
around myself and went to sit on the kitchen counter right infront of him esela amanzi ndamjonga

Me:"I didn't know she'd actually come,seeing seku late"

Him:"want some water"?

I shook my head,he came forth and seductively kissed me,I fell for him all over again as we kissed
hungrily forgetting that there's someone coming any minute. We heard the car in the driveway,yet
we didn't stop. I just wrapped my legs around him as he slipped his hand between my legs and
massaged,making me pant for breath :o and cut my whispered words/ sentences

Me:"b-b-baby"
Him:"sssh,your visitor could be at the door any minute"
Me:"but baby...ooh God.. Faster"
Him:"hm"?
Me:" Baby please"!

He obliged and went faster,I grabbed his neck and smashed my lips on his,we kissed wet slippery
kisses that were surely driving me over the edge,I was so damn close to cumming I could feel my
muscles pulsating.

Then we heard a knock,and stopped.

:'(
He sucked my bottom lip wand'shiya and went to open the door,I was left trying to compose and
cover myself. I poured myself juice and downed it

Him:"baby you have visitors"

Me:"coming"

I went to the lounge,there was Anelisa with two guys who looked very much like Gudda

Me:"molweni"
Her:"hey,sorry to rock up so late"
Me:"you said it was urgent"
Ntando got up,he kissed me on the lips then he took my bra into his hands. Why did I get a feelinga
thathe was showing off?

Him:"I'll be upstairs"
Me:"ungalali,I'll be right there"
Him:"sure"

Waphakama and left us.

#361

Once Ntando was out of our space ndabajonga

Me:"can I get y'all anything to drink"

Her:"no thank you"
Me:"ohkay,here we are"
Her:"yeah uhm,these are my brothers Simamnkele and Samnkelo,guys this is Sibongile"
Sam:"hey"
Me:"hi"

Then we sat in silence...

Me:"come on Anelisa,I don't have the whole night kalok and I'm sure you didn't just fly down to
stare at me"
Her:"I just... I wanted to introduce you to your brothers"
Me:"half brothers you mean,and you shouldn't have"
Her:"Trina please,we're here because we wanna make peace with you"
Me:"make peace? You don't seriously expect me to belie'that especially with everything that your
father is doing to make sure I suffer"?
Sam:"we're here because we wanna build a relationship with you,you're the youngest kubantwana
baka tata,siyazana sonke and we want you to be part of us too"
Sima:"and we won't speak for dad or ta Ayas but please,we've come in Peace nyhani. Thina asingeni
ndawo kwinto yonke abayenzayo"
Me:"holy Jesus issa trap! I swear y'all came to my house to trap me"
Her:"Trina,I understand how you feeling but we are family and we want to be there for you,for each
other and we don't want you to feel unwanted and neglected just because you're a rape child"

:/ so I guess he told them that little detail too?

Mxm

Sima:"I know bhut'Ntando can provide anything and everything for you,but there's only so much a
man can do"
Sam:"ifamily inendawo yayo"
Me:"I know that"
Her:"and mna this entire situation has taught me that akhonto yodlula i family S'bongile. Ndikhulile
ngoku and I have seen and learnt from my mistakes. As much as sizekuwe I have also come to kill
two birds with one stone,ndizocela nindiboleke u Sino abuyele kum ngoku nam ndimnike uthando
lukanina"
Me:"what"?
Her:"look I am grateful for everything you are doing for her engengomntana wakho you gave her
your love as you would give your own child"
Me:"okay wait... Why do I think I've heard these lines before? Oh kanene,thats exactly what you said
when Chuma sent you here as her lapdog"
Sima:"nd'cela um'mamele torho before you judge her,as ba etshilo naye she has made mistakes in
her life and now she's ready to amend things"
Me:"hayini ninani! So now I'm judging her? Me? Judging Anelisa? Ngoku? Really now"?
Her:"that's not what he meant Trina torho"
Sima:"S'bongile mamela,I understand you hate dad for raping umamakho kude kubekho nawe but
thina asingeni ndawo kulonto yiyolonto silapha sizokwakha ubuhlobo nawe because blood is thicker
than water. There's a possibility that the Smiths will one day wake up and disown you coz
kwasekuqaleni you were not theirs"

Ndamjonga lomfana :(
Azange ndamatha kanje in my entire life... I swear.

Sima:" and I understand that u Sino ukhulele kuwe umenzela yonkinto njengamzali wakhe when her
own mother went awol but now she's come to her senses uyafuna uzikhulisela and take
responsibility of her daughter. You shouldn't have a problem with that seeing that uzaw'be
ephungula umthwalo emagxeni wakho no bhut'Ntando"
Her:"Trina you know I've changed,for weeks we were locked up together enkangala surely you saw
that I'm no longer lah Anelisa ungakhathaliyo. Maybe if we knew back then that we're sisters
ngesingekho lapha ngoku"
Me:"I knew"
Her:"you knew? But you didn't say anything? Ungcolile kodwa Trina haybo"
Me:"Thank you for the compliment,but I'm quite sure that asoze ndinogqithe pha kokwenu"
Sam:"what's that supposed to mean"?
Me:"it means...wait a minute now, Aren't you the two guys ebez'fundiswa ngu Ntando overseas"?
Sam:"we are,why d'you look astonished"?

I couldn't believe my eyes :o but I wasn't gonna fight Ntando's battles kungekho need,I was quite
sure he could handle this one himself

Me:"jonga ukungcola kwenu kune levels niyeva? Nide nangath' nikuyele e teknikon nagqwesa nge
diplomas,degrees and PhD's nje"
Her:"okay okay,we didn't come here to insult one another,mna Trina uyayazi into endiy'funayo kuyo
yonke lento"
Me:"uzay'funa ku Ntando sisi lento uyifunayo,nothi kum"
Her:"we both know he will never agree to this,that's why I need you to talk to him"
Sima:"being a mother yourself you should know that umntana uyalidinga uthando lukanina"
Me:"aniguli perhaps"?
Sima:"uyas'thuka S'bongile"
Me:"I know,and I won't apologise. If you want anything from me ingathi ngewuqala pha ku Gudda no
tatakho"
Her:"dad is in hospital fighting for his life Trina and we don't know where Gudda is"
Sam:"but I suppose you already knew that seeing your man had a hand in that"
Sima:"if he can do that to your family without thinking twice,don't you see that awukho safe kwa
wena? You need us"
Me:"lonto ni convinced that I need yall yet nini aba kwam ngobusuku? Isebenza njani na lento ye
need guys"?
Sima:"Sibongile,we're here because of you. What will you do when Bhut'Ntando decides to use you
and dump you? Its in his nature you know"?
Sam:"Sima you don't have to talk bad about the guy knowing how much he's helped us "
Sima:"I was just saying"
Me:"karma is a bitch sana"

Then there was silence...

Ntando walked down the stairs enxibe iiboxers qha :'(

Him:"yho niselapha? did yall see the time? I need to sleep"

Ndaphakama and looked at Anelisa

Me:"u Anelisa babe has something to ask of you"

Her:"heee haibo Trina"
Me:"ndiyaxoka ke"?

She took a deep breath waphakama naye

Her:"Erh... Okay,I want Sino back"

Him:"you want Sino back? Ambomthatha kula ndawo wawumshiye kuyo kalok"
Her:"Ntando cummon"
Him:"if there's nothing else,nd'cela nihambe"
Sima:"Bhut'Ntando pls ju-"
Him:"I haven't recieved the first installment from the two of you,when should I expect it"?
Sam:"we're still working on it bhut'Ntando"
Sima:"but bro ayingeni ndawo le issue yethu kulento ithethwa ngu Anelisa"
Him:"babe ugqibile"?
Me:"erh yes"
Her:"Ntando nd'yakuckela torho,I know ndibe rongo. Sino hating me is enough punishment"
Him:"you know what my answer is,I don't know why you bother"
Her:"Ntando ndiyakucela"

He went to turn of the light e kitchen,dining area and then returned wabavulela umnyango. They got
up and walked out one bye one

Sima:"I guess we'll see you in court then"

Him:"about my money or my child"?
Sima:"my niece,imali yakho uzoy'fumana. Akho need ya court kuyo"
Him:"ayt,travel safe. Ingophuki imitshayelo yenu ku rough phandl'apha"

He closed the door,I went upstairs. I was no longer in the mood for what we were doing earlier,I just
wanted to cuddle and sleep. He came up and took his tablet,typed for a good 45 minutes then he
came to bed kanye xand'founelwa ngu Elizabeth
Me:"hello"

She started crying...

O.o good Jesus,really?

Me:"Elizabeth"?
Her:"Marcus threw me out"
Me:"threw you out? I thought you were with your folks nje"
Her:"I came back today and found him with that Linda chick,he didn't even try to deny or cover up.
He just threw me out right infront of her"
[Ntando kissed my lips,chin and down the neck]

Me:"I'm sorry Liz"

Her:"after everything I've been through with him,this is how he breaks up with me? Treating me like
trash"
Me:"Liz..."

[Ntando got his entire weight on me,I was silently whimpering and moaning in between deep
breaths as he sucked,kissed and licked from the neck down inbetween my boobies]

Her:"Trina please talk to him,I know I've cheated on him before but I love him"
Me:"Liz,I know it hurts but I want you to just tell yourself the truth my dear"
Her:"what truth? That I proved my mom right about Marcus? I don't want to,I love him and I wanna
be with him"

[Ntando sucked a nipple while the other hand grabbed one thigh up,also lifting my leg into the air]

Me:"uh... Oh oh-kay"
Her:"pls talk to him,pls. Junior needs both his parents in his life"

[Ntando kissed his way down to my pleasure palace,I couldn't listen to Liz's whining anymore.
Ndiphoswa zinto ezimnandi apha]

Me:"okay,look I gotta go now. I have another call coming through"

Her:"just promise me you'll atleast talk to him"

[I felt Ntando's tongue hot deep inside me,dammit Ntando can be cruel]

Me:"oh..shit..."
Her:"huh"?
Me:"I mean,okay I promise"
Her:"thank you"

I hung up and threw that phone aside,Ntando got in deeper my juices clashing with his saliva. I
grabbed one of my boobs with one hand,pinching my nipple so hard at the same time while the
other hand pushed Ntando to go deeper and he was doing very well,great actually then he abruptly
stopped and looked at me. I was sure I was close to heaven

Me:"baby please"
Him:"wha-"
Me:"Ntando ndak'cela tana"
Him:"ucela ntoni baby"
Me:"please continue"
Him:"continue with what"?

I closed my eyes
I felt him kissing his way up until he was kissing my neck,the way I was wet I could feel my juices
coming out then he bit the corner of my bottom lip.
He slipped a finger in,I held my breath.
Then a second finger went in,I lost myself as his fingers moved in and out faster with each
movement

Me:"Nt... Nta..a..a..a..ndo"
He sunk his teeth in my neck and went even faster
Me:"baby"!
Him:"mmmh"

I released,hot sticky flushes of love juices. Then breathed.

Me:"fuck man"!
Him:"don't worry,I'ma fuck you good"

I grabbed his head and kissed the lights out of him. My legs were already apart so he easily got
himself in and filled me up,I clung unto him as we moved in unison enjoying the pleasures we were
inducting unto ourselves.
As much as I was enjoying this,I wanted to play with him a little so I tightened my muscles once I felt
him pulling out wema

Him:"baby don't do that"

Me:"hm"?

I loosened my muscles,he tried to move I tightened again,he tightened his grip on my thighs
painfully

Him:"shit! Luu don't do that"

Me:"say please"
Him:"baby please"

I opened waphuma,ndsaqala ungath' ndizomhleka. He grabbed me and turned me around just to

face the bathroom door

His phone rang,he extended his hand and checked the screen as he entered me.

Him:"now is not a good time"

Range:"big guy kunini ndikuzama,we kinda need your help with a lil something"
Him:"I'm a married man niqqa,my wife has me chained in bed I can't be of any help"
Range:"heee! Okay sharp"
Him:"sho"

I just turned and lifted my leg up unto his thigh and directed his member in with my eyes closed as I
relaxed and felt my room filled up

Him:"mmh,baby kuthen' unje"?

Me:"ssshhh...don't talk"

361

Once Ntando was out of our space ndabajonga

Me:"can I get y'all anything to drink"

Her:"no thank you"
Me:"ohkay,here we are"
Her:"yeah uhm,these are my brothers Simamnkele and Samnkelo,guys this is Sibongile"
Sam:"hey"
Me:"hi"

Then we sat in silence...

Me:"come on Anelisa,I don't have the whole night kalok and I'm sure you didn't just fly down to
stare at me"
Her:"I just... I wanted to introduce you to your brothers"
Me:"half brothers you mean,and you shouldn't have"
Her:"Trina please,we're here because we wanna make peace with you"
Me:"make peace? You don't seriously expect me to belie'that especially with everything that your
father is doing to make sure I suffer"?
Sam:"we're here because we wanna build a relationship with you,you're the youngest kubantwana
baka tata,siyazana sonke and we want you to be part of us too"
Sima:"and we won't speak for dad or ta Ayas but please,we've come in Peace nyhani. Thina asingeni
ndawo kwinto yonke abayenzayo"
Me:"holy Jesus issa trap! I swear y'all came to my house to trap me"
Her:"Trina,I understand how you feeling but we are family and we want to be there for you,for each
other and we don't want you to feel unwanted and neglected just because you're a rape child"

:/ so I guess he told them that little detail too?

Mxm

Sima:"I know bhut'Ntando can provide anything and everything for you,but there's only so much a
man can do"
Sam:"ifamily inendawo yayo"
Me:"I know that"
Her:"and mna this entire situation has taught me that akhonto yodlula i family S'bongile. Ndikhulile
ngoku and I have seen and learnt from my mistakes. As much as sizekuwe I have also come to kill
two birds with one stone,ndizocela nindiboleke u Sino abuyele kum ngoku nam ndimnike uthando
lukanina"
Me:"what"?
Her:"look I am grateful for everything you are doing for her engengomntana wakho you gave her
your love as you would give your own child"
Me:"okay wait... Why do I think I've heard these lines before? Oh kanene,thats exactly what you said
when Chuma sent you here as her lapdog"
Sima:"nd'cela um'mamele torho before you judge her,as ba etshilo naye she has made mistakes in
her life and now she's ready to amend things"
Me:"hayini ninani! So now I'm judging her? Me? Judging Anelisa? Ngoku? Really now"?
Her:"that's not what he meant Trina torho"
Sima:"S'bongile mamela,I understand you hate dad for raping umamakho kude kubekho nawe but
thina asingeni ndawo kulonto yiyolonto silapha sizokwakha ubuhlobo nawe because blood is thicker
than water. There's a possibility that the Smiths will one day wake up and disown you coz
kwasekuqaleni you were not theirs"

Ndamjonga lomfana :(
Azange ndamatha kanje in my entire life... I swear.

Sima:" and I understand that u Sino ukhulele kuwe umenzela yonkinto njengamzali wakhe when her
own mother went awol but now she's come to her senses uyafuna uzikhulisela and take
responsibility of her daughter. You shouldn't have a problem with that seeing that uzaw'be
ephungula umthwalo emagxeni wakho no bhut'Ntando"
Her:"Trina you know I've changed,for weeks we were locked up together enkangala surely you saw
that I'm no longer lah Anelisa ungakhathaliyo. Maybe if we knew back then that we're sisters
ngesingekho lapha ngoku"
Me:"I knew"
Her:"you knew? But you didn't say anything? Ungcolile kodwa Trina haybo"
Me:"Thank you for the compliment,but I'm quite sure that asoze ndinogqithe pha kokwenu"
Sam:"what's that supposed to mean"?
Me:"it means...wait a minute now, Aren't you the two guys ebez'fundiswa ngu Ntando overseas"?
Sam:"we are,why d'you look astonished"?

I couldn't believe my eyes :o but I wasn't gonna fight Ntando's battles kungekho need,I was quite
sure he could handle this one himself

Me:"jonga ukungcola kwenu kune levels niyeva? Nide nangath' nikuyele e teknikon nagqwesa nge
diplomas,degrees and PhD's nje"
Her:"okay okay,we didn't come here to insult one another,mna Trina uyayazi into endiy'funayo kuyo
yonke lento"
Me:"uzay'funa ku Ntando sisi lento uyifunayo,nothi kum"
Her:"we both know he will never agree to this,that's why I need you to talk to him"
Sima:"being a mother yourself you should know that umntana uyalidinga uthando lukanina"
Me:"aniguli perhaps"?
Sima:"uyas'thuka S'bongile"
Me:"I know,and I won't apologise. If you want anything from me ingathi ngewuqala pha ku Gudda no
tatakho"
Her:"dad is in hospital fighting for his life Trina and we don't know where Gudda is"
Sam:"but I suppose you already knew that seeing your man had a hand in that"
Sima:"if he can do that to your family without thinking twice,don't you see that awukho safe kwa
wena? You need us"
Me:"lonto ni convinced that I need yall yet nini aba kwam ngobusuku? Isebenza njani na lento ye
need guys"?
Sima:"Sibongile,we're here because of you. What will you do when Bhut'Ntando decides to use you
and dump you? Its in his nature you know"?
Sam:"Sima you don't have to talk bad about the guy knowing how much he's helped us "
Sima:"I was just saying"
Me:"karma is a bitch sana"

Then there was silence...

Ntando walked down the stairs enxibe iiboxers qha :'(

Him:"yho niselapha? did yall see the time? I need to sleep"

Ndaphakama and looked at Anelisa

Me:"u Anelisa babe has something to ask of you"

Her:"heee haibo Trina"
Me:"ndiyaxoka ke"?

She took a deep breath waphakama naye

Her:"Erh... Okay,I want Sino back"

Him:"you want Sino back? Ambomthatha kula ndawo wawumshiye kuyo kalok"
Her:"Ntando cummon"
Him:"if there's nothing else,nd'cela nihambe"
Sima:"Bhut'Ntando pls ju-"
Him:"I haven't recieved the first installment from the two of you,when should I expect it"?
Sam:"we're still working on it bhut'Ntando"
Sima:"but bro ayingeni ndawo le issue yethu kulento ithethwa ngu Anelisa"
Him:"babe ugqibile"?
Me:"erh yes"
Her:"Ntando nd'yakuckela torho,I know ndibe rongo. Sino hating me is enough punishment"
Him:"you know what my answer is,I don't know why you bother"
Her:"Ntando ndiyakucela"

He went to turn of the light e kitchen,dining area and then returned wabavulela umnyango. They got
up and walked out one bye one

Sima:"I guess we'll see you in court then"

Him:"about my money or my child"?
Sima:"my niece,imali yakho uzoy'fumana. Akho need ya court kuyo"
Him:"ayt,travel safe. Ingophuki imitshayelo yenu ku rough phandl'apha"

He closed the door,I went upstairs. I was no longer in the mood for what we were doing earlier,I just
wanted to cuddle and sleep. He came up and took his tablet,typed for a good 45 minutes then he
came to bed kanye xand'founelwa ngu Elizabeth
Me:"hello"

She started crying...

O.o good Jesus,really?

Me:"Elizabeth"?
Her:"Marcus threw me out"
Me:"threw you out? I thought you were with your folks nje"
Her:"I came back today and found him with that Linda chick,he didn't even try to deny or cover up.
He just threw me out right infront of her"

[Ntando kissed my lips,chin and down the neck]

Me:"I'm sorry Liz"

Her:"after everything I've been through with him,this is how he breaks up with me? Treating me like
trash"
Me:"Liz..."

[Ntando got his entire weight on me,I was silently whimpering and moaning in between deep
breaths as he sucked,kissed and licked from the neck down inbetween my boobies]

Her:"Trina please talk to him,I know I've cheated on him before but I love him"
Me:"Liz,I know it hurts but I want you to just tell yourself the truth my dear"
Her:"what truth? That I proved my mom right about Marcus? I don't want to,I love him and I wanna
be with him"

[Ntando sucked a nipple while the other hand grabbed one thigh up,also lifting my leg into the air]

Me:"uh... Oh oh-kay"
Her:"pls talk to him,pls. Junior needs both his parents in his life"

[Ntando kissed his way down to my pleasure palace,I couldn't listen to Liz's whining anymore.
Ndiphoswa zinto ezimnandi apha]
Me:"okay,look I gotta go now. I have another call coming through"
Her:"just promise me you'll atleast talk to him"

[I felt Ntando's tongue hot deep inside me,dammit Ntando can be cruel]

Me:"oh..shit..."
Her:"huh"?
Me:"I mean,okay I promise"
Her:"thank you"

I hung up and threw that phone aside,Ntando got in deeper my juices clashing with his saliva. I
grabbed one of my boobs with one hand,pinching my nipple so hard at the same time while the
other hand pushed Ntando to go deeper and he was doing very well,great actually then he abruptly
stopped and looked at me. I was sure I was close to heaven

Me:"baby please"
Him:"wha-"
Me:"Ntando ndak'cela tana"
Him:"ucela ntoni baby"
Me:"please continue"
Him:"continue with what"?

I closed my eyes
I felt him kissing his way up until he was kissing my neck,the way I was wet I could feel my juices
coming out then he bit the corner of my bottom lip.
He slipped a finger in,I held my breath.
Then a second finger went in,I lost myself as his fingers moved in and out faster with each
movement

Me:"Nt... Nta..a..a..a..ndo"
He sunk his teeth in my neck and went even faster

Me:"baby"!
Him:"mmmh"

I released,hot sticky flushes of love juices. Then breathed.

Me:"fuck man"!
Him:"don't worry,I'ma fuck you good"

I grabbed his head and kissed the lights out of him. My legs were already apart so he easily got
himself in and filled me up,I clung unto him as we moved in unison enjoying the pleasures we were
inducting unto ourselves.
As much as I was enjoying this,I wanted to play with him a little so I tightened my muscles once I felt
him pulling out wema

Him:"baby don't do that"

Me:"hm"?

I loosened my muscles,he tried to move I tightened again,he tightened his grip on my thighs
painfully
Him:"shit! Luu don't do that"
Me:"say please"
Him:"baby please"

I opened waphuma,ndsaqala ungath' ndizomhleka. He grabbed me and turned me around just to

face the bathroom door

His phone rang,he extended his hand and checked the screen as he entered me.

Him:"now is not a good time"

Range:"big guy kunini ndikuzama,we kinda need your help with a lil something"
Him:"I'm a married man niqqa,my wife has me chained in bed I can't be of any help"
Range:"heee! Okay sharp"
Him:"sho"

I just turned and lifted my leg up unto his thigh and directed his member in with my eyes closed as I
relaxed and felt my room filled up

Him:"mmh,baby kuthen' unje"?

Me:"ssshhh...don't talk"

#362

We did our deed and cuddled to sleep.

I slept on top of him the entire night,I don't know how he sleeps on his back kuse phandle. I woke up
ekuseni and went to bath,I had things to do mna unlike him coz yena uze kwi vacation eBhayi. I took
out a black chiffon jumpsuit,gold chunky neckpiece and matching spikey louboutines then I took my
bag and car keys ndaya ezantsi. I cooked him oats,dished it up and kept it in the oven then I took a
Jungle oats snackbar with an apple ndahamba. I needed licence for using that building though we
had bought it,running a business in it had to be verified so ndaqala kwa mas'pala ndafaka izinto
zam,they gave me my licence,and proof of residence for postal purposes. Ntando called
ndisendleleni eyodibana nenye i group of three women who said they make clothing when I saw
their advert on Gumtree...

Me:"my King"
Him:"after such a great night I wake up all alone"
Me:"ubuyi one night stand kaloku"
Him:"mnk,uphi? Ubuthe siya e Gauteng vandag"
Me:"I haven't forgotten,I have about three meetings to attend then we can go"
Him:"so what should I do with myself in the meanwhile"?
Me:"eat your breakfast its in the oven then make yourself useful and clean ii room zabantwana
bakho"
Him:"yes boss"

I hung up ndafika kulomzi bendisiya kuwo,I got out of my car ndangena and greeted. They showed
me what they can do individually and to be honest I only loved the work of one among the three

Me:"nd'cela ubuza kengok ukuba njengoko niyi group,can you works seperately as individuals"?
Thandi:"ewe sisi,kakade besingabantu ebebekade bezisebenzela qha kuba incinci le ndawo yethu we
decided to work together"
Me:"okay that's good to know,what other things can you do besides sewing"?
Thandi:"u sis Thobeka is a chef by profession,umthungo uw'funde apha kuthi. U sis Nosipho wenza i
beadwork and anything that has to do with pottery or traditional art"
Me:"wow..do you have CV's mhlaw'mbi? If aninazo akho problem though"
Thandi:"sinazo sisi"
Me:"nd'cela nindiphe zona"

Sis Thobeka went to the other side and emerged with three enveloped wandinika.

Me:"well thank you very much for your time,I'll keep in touch"
Thandi:"thank you"

So now that I heard that one of them can do beadwork and pottery my initial idea was changing,so I
rushed to the building ndafika sekwenziwe one section of the four

Me:"okay guys can we gather up for two minutes"

They dropped their tools and came to listen...

Me:"please accept my apologies for disturbing you guys but I have a little predicament"
Laura:"oh-kay,what is it"?
Me:"I don't know how you guys are going to do it,but I need a glass display for clay pottery and
beadwork somewhere"

Bathi cwaka and looked around,Laura who is the supervisor walked to just a few feet above the
center of the room

Laura:"how about we build a circular glass paypoint here..."

Me:"glass from top to bottom"?
Laura:"yes,strong glass that doesn't break easily. Then from the inside we make about three rows of
shelves for display and obviously space for the till and other machinery"
Me:"it sounds good...will it be possible to make two tills then"?
Laura:"we have enough space"
Me:"okay then thank you,you can get back to work and create magic"
Laura:"once we're done,you won't know this place"

I laughed as I left them and went to Macro to find everything that I will be needing. The building was
huge,had rooms upstairs that I wanted to make good use of. One I took as my office,the other two
that had a divider were now going to be used as the sewing/design area. Like our very own little
factory. I asked for a quotation ye computers band'nika ndabuyela endlini ndafika engqengqe kwi
patio u Ntando ephole in grey harem pants with black hem and waist ne vest emhlophe with black
and white Adidas sandles next to him,I bent down and kissed him on the forehead

Me:"aw'phole"
Him:"awumhle"
Me:"thanks,is Mo around"?
Him:"kudala,you done"?
Me:"yeah singahamba"
Him:"sure"

He got up and walked towards my car,I stood and followed with my mouth hanging open. He turned
and looked at me confused

Him:"asihambi na"?
Me:"you're not changing"?
Him:"for what"?
Me:"haike Ntando let me change"
Him:"what's wrong with how you're dressed kengok"?
Me:"compared to you? Honey I'm over dressed"

I turned and walked up to my room,undressed and wore loose fitting grey cotten shorts,black vest
and black Allstar. I just took my phone,then Luke's house keys and my car keys ndaphuma. He looked
at me wahleka as he locked the house,I got in the passenger seat and let him drive my car as we
drove to the airport.
Mo was patiently waiting,we boarded and flew to the city of Gold,when we landed a car was already
waiting for us. He drove us to my house,I called Luu

Him:"Baby sis"
Me:"hey,ek is tuis. Waar is jy"?
Him:"ek is tuis ook"
Me:"great,pls open the gate"

The gate opened as we approached it so we drove in,Ntand and I got off and walked inside bumping
onto Luu carrying boxes

Me:"heeey"
Him:"hey,go in I'll be right there"
Me:"okay"

He must have been packing the smaller things coz his future was still in place,my husband sat down
while I walked around. Luke came back,we hugged before he shaked my husband's hand babuzana
impilo as I headed upstairs ndaqokelela konke okwam okubalulekileyo and went to put it in the car
ndabuya and joined them.

Luu:"Your husband tells me about your business"

Me:"its nothing huge,but its a start"
Luu:"I'm proud of you,and you are welcome to visit. Anytime"
Me:"thank God you said that infront of him,so that he won't start entertaining some crazy thoughts
when I wanna visit you"
Bae:"heee"
Luu:"sbari pls,don't start pulling stunts on her when she wanna visit"

We joked around for a couple more minutes then we left,Ntando told the driver to drive to the
ShisaNyama. Upon arrival phaya I saw Chloe,Vincent and their son besiza phamb'kwethu

Me:"hm"
Bae:"ha.a babe"
Me:"haibo nditheni"
Bae:"ha.a qha"

As we approached them I could see Chloe was getting uncomfortable,Vince looked up and smiled

Him:"this is a surprise"
Me:"hey Vincent"
Him:"Mrs,bhuti..ninjani"?

I thought Ntando would answer but he didn't

Me:"we're good Vince,unjani wena"?
Him:"I'm great,pls find a table I'll be with you just now"
Bae:"make it quick asihlelanga"
Him:"oh okay"

He looked at me,I looked at Chloe then back at him gqiba ndahamba and followed behind Ntando as
he went inside,hay ndajika emnyango ndayokhangela a table coz akhonto yam ingaphakathi. Vince
returned weza kum

Him:"what's up with him"?

Me:"I don't know"
Him:"yho,can I buy you anything"?
Me:"lemonade or mango juice pls"
Him:"coming right up"
Me:"enkosi"

He went inside
A waitress came out with my lemonade

Me:"thank you,ukhona u Libo"?

Her:"ha.a sisi"
Me:"oh,aw'mazi ungena ey'phi i shift"?
Her:"she no longer works here,I'm here replacement"
Me:"oh,congrats then"
Her:"thank you"

She smiled and walked away to attend other customers,I dialed Libo. I know we aint friends but I
was curious,uyeke umsebenzi only or wohlukene no Vince? Coz nanku ecosy no Chloe u Vince

Her:"Trina,hi. This is a surprise"

Me:"hi,how are you"?
Her:"I'm okay,you"
Me:"I'm good,am at the ShisaNyama and I hear aw'saphangeli apha"
Her:"yeah man,I needed a new begining and besides Vince and I didn't work out"
Me:"I'm sorry"

She went silent for a minute

Her:"means alot coming from you,thank you"

Me:"I mean it,I know how much you love Vincent"
Her:"loved. Not anymore,he never really appreciated me and his affair with Chloe was the last
straw"
Me:"so wenzani ngoku"?
Her:"I moved back home in PE,but its not easy living with so many people ungaphangeli"
Me:"but I thought you're a Joburger"
Her:"my dad is,my mom and siblings are in PE"
Me:"ooh okay,well be strong and goodluck with everything"
Her:"enkosi"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up
But anjani amadoda? Do you mean to tell me that after everything,Ntando would leave me for fresh
meat? Nalo Chloe aint fresh futhi. Nx.
Ntando came out ecofa iphone and joined me

Me:"can we go"?
Him:"sisojelwa inyama esizohamba nayo"
Me:"mmh"

He lifted his eyes from that phone and raised a brow

Him:"everything okay"?
Me:"I just wanna go back home"
Him:"sizogoduka nje,in just a few minutes qha"

I kept quiet...
Maybe I could use Libo's downfall to my advantage,especially now that she's in my neighbourhood.
A waitor came with our meat,Ntando tipped him sahamba. I noticed that siyakwakhe and not to the
airport
He looked at me

Him:"Uqumbule ntoni"?
Me:"why do men cheat"?
Him:"huh"?
Me:"why do men cheat"?

Wakhe wathula as he drove into the parking lot of his apartment then turned off the ignition

Him:"Seeing Chloe must have stirred buried hatchets I see"

Me:"I just wanna know nyhani why do men cheat? Seriously"
Him:"I can't speak for other men Luu,reasons vary. Just like women have different reasons"

With that ndohlika,he followed and unlocked his house sangena. I flopped on the couch,he went
upstairs and returned with a brifcase and a loaded Nike sportsbag

Him:"you wanna rest for a while of ufuna sigoduke"?

Me:"hay masambe and'funu hlala Joburg mna"
Him:"I wonder yakwenzani lendawo? Coz I noticed Awuyifuni nyhani"
Me:"masambe babe"

He chucked and followed behind me,he locked his house sasiwa e airport and boarded the PJ. I sat
on my own ndiz'cingela izinto zam,he came sit next to me wangqengqa ngomqolo with his head on
my lap. I smiled and traced the contours of his face

Him:"ingaske ndik'fake kule bag ndihambe nawe"

Me:"ndikudike uthi shu"
Him:"but I wouldn't take that risk"
Me:"ingaske ungahambi,worse ubuye iveki enye qha"
Him:"we spent time together nje eKapa"
Me:"that was also one week,oko nd'buyile I haven't really had enough time with you"
Him:"okay,we'll spend these remaining days together"
Me:"can't you just cancel the trip? Or let Ranger and Marc handle things"?

I saw a cheesy smile creeping at the corners of his mouth

Him:"I could...on one condition"
Me:"you have conditions nakum"?
Him:"you remove that family planning thing you have on then I'll stay"
Me:"ooh Jojo! Hay hamba sthandwa sam,I'll even make you umphako for that matter"

He laughed :'( hay makahambe tyhini! How will I manage pregnancy with everything that I wanna
do?

#363

We landed in PE and drove home,I took my things to my room wangena as I was

unpacking,ndambona ba uyangqunga

Me:"thetha"
Him:"nd'thethe ntoni ngoku babe"
Me:"uyangqunga Ntando"
Him:"hay mand'phume ke"

Hm,mnk.
I unpacked ndagqiba and went downstairs ndafika edlala i PS3

Me:"husband"
Him:"hm"?
Me:"we're eating the meat with pap or bread"?
Him:"pap"
Me:"sharp"

I went to the kitchen and began cooking,Kuhle called me

Me:"uncle Kay"
Him:"mammie zabantu,ninjani"
Me:"we're good uncle,unjani wena"
Him:"I am good too,ubhuti akekho lapho kuwe"?
Me:"ulapha,why"
Him:"silapha eBhayi no uncle number two,sibawela uzolala kwakho"
Me:"yhu,and'funi bantu mna kwam when my husband is around"
Him:"haibo why"?
Me:"you wouldn't understand,aw'tshatanga remember"
He laughed
Him:"uyenzile into u Lwandiso ngobase Portugal"
Me:"haha caba ebezothini yena"?
Him:"ooh mama wamawele,I promise we'll behave. Izobangath' asikho"
Me:"senifuna ukuza kwam nifuna ntoni kwalapha e Bhayi"?
Him:"uyamaz' kalok u life we businessmen,and before you say it; yes we can afford a hotel but sifuna
ulala kwakho"

I laughed coz that's what I was going to say nyhani

Me:"eshe,senincede ngothetha nd'saqala upheka"

Him:"sikuphathele ntoni"?
Me:"And'funi nix,nizothi xanifuna ukundi briber nimane nindenza lonto"
Him:"but urongo yaz"
Me:"I'll prepare the spare room Kuhle"
Him:"enkosi madam"

We hung up.
Now I know why uNtando ebengqunga,he knew about them being around but then he should have
just told me himself. I cooked finish,went upstairs to prepare the room and made sure the bathroom
had enough toiletries and clean towels. Then I returned to the kitchen and warmed the meat,Ntando
walked in topless and came to hug me

Me:"erh...oh-kay,what's up"
Him:"does a man need a reason to show his wife some love"?
Me:"so this is how you show your wife some love"?
Him:"isezi warm-ups ezi baby"
Me:"mmh,suka ke I have to go to town and check progress"
Him:"asizotya na kuqala"?
Me:"uzotya wena,I'll eat obuya kwam"
Him:"okay"
Me:"suka kum kaloku"

He kissed my cheek and moved so I could dish up for him,ndamshiya pha ndayobeka ukutya kwakhe
e lounge. He followed and stood behind me,xand'guquka ndagileka kuye and he held my waist

Me:"soze ndihambe yaz Nguwe"

Him:"but you said you wanna spend time with me"
Me:"true,but now I have to check on the interior deco's then I'll come back and be all yours"
Him:"all mine huh"?
Me:"all yours baby"

I kissed him while loosening his embrace then I slipped away,grabbed my car keys and ran out.

I drove to town,reached the boutique ndafika be halfway so I just walked around and left them to do
their work in peace. I drove around town and went to by myself the confused cake then I drove
home,the minute I parked I heard men laughter I knew the twins have arrived. I took my cake and
phone ndangena endlini

Me:"molweni"
Sihle:"nanku u madam"
Kay:"nanku u Mrs"
Me:"anisonwabe,uphi umntu wam"?
Kay:"he's upstairs taking a business call"
Me:"I see y'all have made yourself comfortable"
Sihle:"we're home,aren't we"?
Me:"indeed,I'll be back"
Kay:"sho"

I went upstairs ndafika ehleli on the edge of the bed esathetha on the phone uNtando,I went to him
and kissed his lips ngoku athethayo and smiled. He grabbed my arm xandizohamba so I saw that as
an invitation so I squated on him,continued planting kisses all round his neck until he finished the
call wand'jonga and smiled

Him:"u stout yaz"

Me:"you call that stout? Yaz I wanted to strip for you"
Him:"but baby why d'you enjoy torturing me"?
Me:"I just like seeing you beg honey,that's all"

I got off him and fixed myself ndabheka ngase mnyango

Him:"uyaph' kengok"?
Me:"we have guests,remember"?
Him:"they're big boys"
Me:"hm"

I left him there and went to join his brothers,I shared the cake with them sancokola njee.
....

The twins spent a week with us,Ntando left when they left so I focused on my boutique. Once the
boutique was done,And the computers were fully installed at the internet café I recieved my clothing
from the suppliers,I officially hired the three women and gave them their office upstairs. The
boutique was exactly how I wanted it to be,so I got students to do the promo for me then I put out
an advertisement for four people. Two in each business.

Within two days I had CVs piling up but I chose about six candidates to interview then I got my final
four. On the day of placement I opened up early because I had to interview them again just to be
certain we're on the same page. As I was setting up my things at the café I heard someone come in
but just continued with what I was doing until I heard her voice

Her:"uhm...hi"

I turned and my jaw dropped. So did hers.

Her:"Trina? I uhm...unjani? I'm looking for a person by the name Nalique"

Me:"Libo? I'm good,how can I help you"?
Her:"I heard kufakwa ii CV apha,this is the building with Nalique's boutique right"?
Me:"ewe but sekuvaliwe for submitions"
Her:"I'm sure if I could see the owner ndingakwazi um'persuader bro,ndingamfumanaphi"?

I cleared my throat...

Me:"things are that bad huh"

Her:"I uhm, I'd rather not talk about it"
Me:"mmh,you can leave your CV with me I'll make sure it reaches the owner's hands"

She removed a brown envelope from her bag and gave it to me ndaythatha then she left. I waited
for the interviewees to arrive,did one by one then I recruited four of them,gave them their contracts
which stated the begining and ending of their term.
Later on in the day I took time to go through Libo's CV,she had really interesting experience and
references almost buffling me coz I only saw her as a waitress,nothing more. I called up her refs
besides Vincent then I called her to come see me,she came...

Me:"thank you for coming,may we begin"?

Her:"you're interviewing me"?
Me:"yes,ikhona ingxaki"?

She sighed and sat down

Me:"great,now tell me..why should I hire you"
Her:"I knew this was a bad idea..."
Me:"Ufuna umsebenzi,right"?

I just waited for her

Her:"this is sabotage we both know you've never liked me now I must convince you to hire me,uphi
umntu walapha"?
Me:"ndinguyelo"
Her:"I mean your boss,the owner of this place"
Me:"oh-kay Libhongo masibe serious ngoku,let your personal issues remain that..personal. You are
here for an interview,can we get to it"?
Her:"I don't mean to disrespect you but we both kno-"
Me:"you need to learn some sence of professionalism nontombi,now if you must know I am the
owner of this place. Ndim u Trinalique and I think that's all for today. Thank you for coming through"
Her:"you're the ow- wait... I-"
Me:"I have somewhere to be,now if you'll excuse me"

I started packing,she got up and left. I knew I needed her but I just let her go because I knew that she
needed me more,and I knew she would come back anyway because she knew deep down that this
job was hers

I collected my docs and headed home. The following day,was the day. I got to the building by
7,business starts at 8 then my people clocked in: Luvo and Lwando at the café then Zintle and Noma
at the boutique. I needed Libo for bookkeeping,lomntana is a qualified accountant! The place was
loaded with camera's so there was no need for me to be on the floor at all. I headed to my
office,submitted my enrollment to study business management for the following semester online
and commenced with my other work. I got a call from the boutique...

Me:"Nalique's office hello"

Noma:"Mrs Ntabeni,there's a lady who wants to see you"
Me:"does she have a name"?
Noma:"she say's she is Libo"
Me:"tell her to meet me tomorrow at 7 am,with an application letter"
Noma:"yes ma'am"
Me:"thank you"

The sooner she learns work and business ethics,the better we can start working together.
After a long and successful day at work I headed home,I was glad I went ahead with this business
thing though I was constantly told I don't need to. It was a successful day,the boutique was
jampacked from 9 to 5 the café was as busy too. Driving home I was so proud of myself to even pull
through after everything I've been through these past few weeks. The deco team was now busy with
the restaurant side of the building,I still had a lot of traveling to do. To collect items,recipes and
ornaments all over Africa to give Luthando's African Cusuine that non racial non xenophobic feel and
essence. I had spoken to my head chef,lamama endamfumana ko sis Thandi and we had decided to
first embrace our Xhosa culture okwangoku sivulayo,then we can add Zulu and Indian while I embark
on the journey to discovery. Thought it could work...
I headed home ndafika kugcwele iimoto ezimnyama in my driveway,I didn't even have space to park
my own car I had to dive all around the house to the back garage. Got in from the back door... My
lounge was full of buffy men,eating,drinking,laughing,making too much noise for my tired mind. I
walked in slowly looking around,some of these guys were in my kitchen :'(Ntando knows I don't
share my kitchen! It's sacred,like my bedroom. I greeted those who saw me then I went upstairs to
freshen up hoping ndizofika epha uNtando ndafika engekho,I showered nonetheless ndaphuma and
searched for comfortable clothing. I heard a knock just as I was finishing up,I went to open up
ndajonga this cute guy

Me:"Erh..hi"
Him:"hi,I'm sorry to disturb you uTa Beast uthi mandikubize"
Me:"oh,ndiyeza"
Him:"he said its urgent"
Me:"oh-kay"

He walked away,I wore slippers and closed the door behind me ndehla. There were less men than
when I entered,I went to the door ndafika kukho u Ntando with two policemen bexoxisana

Me:"gentlemen"
1police:"Mrs Ntabeni,I'm constable Mbambo and this is my colleague constable Faltein"
Me:"what can I do for you constables"?
1police:"we're here for your husband,we'd like to take him down to the station for questioning"
Me:"with regards to what"?
1police:"he's been linked to some illegal merchandise smuggling,money laundry and a couple other
cases which we'd rather not discuss here"
Me:"do you have proof of what you're saying or you're just throwing wild accusations,constable"?
2police:"ma'am we don't have all night,and we're just doing our job"
Me:"I don't mean to undermine how you do your jobs but uhm,until you bring solid proof and a
warrant of arrest then there's nothing we can do for you"
2police:"ma'am..."
Me:"now gentlemen if you'll excuse me,I have dinner to prepare"
1police:"thank you for your time"
Me:"good night"

I opened the door baphuma

Ntando eko ebethule aph'ecamkwam,once the police left he smiled...

Him:"baby maani! You are blazing hot,uphikisana namarhati"

I shook my head in disbelief ndamshiya apho! I went to the kitchen,I made a fruit smoothie... I
needed it to calm me down.

#364

I heard the guys applauding -_- bandicaphukisa worse coz caba abanye baye bazimela when they
heard the cops that's why I thought bambalwa ngoku bend'suka upstairs. He came in just as I was
drinking my smoothie,on my first gulp wangena and came towards me. He hugged me ndamsusa
kum,uyand'caphukisa nyhan!

Him:"Luthando wam"
Me:"don't"
Him:"Mrs Me"
Me:"cops Ntando? Cops at my front door"?
Him:"I didn't know they'd come here baby,but hey you handled them very well"
Me:"I handled them v- why is my house full of your gangsters bro"?
Him:"its a long story"
Me:"its a long story? Really? But kuphi apha? Bona Bangaphi? Bazolalaphi ke futhi?"
Him:"bazohamba phaa ez'khathini sthandwa calm down kaloku mfaz'ka Ntando,uzo ager fast
yilendlela wenza ngayo"
Me:"mnk! Ay I give up"

I boiled amanzi to cook pap, mixed the water with mixed veg and Aromat original just for seasoning.
I was contemplating whether to make chicken or sausage stew coz I didn't want to cook forever. I
wanted to get my rest and take tomorrow on a fresh slate with a relaxed mind

Him:"thank you for what you did mamakhe,really means a lot to the niqqa"
Me:"I'm even afraid to ask the truth in what those cops said"
Him:"my love we don't have to go there right now"
Me:"Hay bhey'bhi! Yazi I just faced cops for you just now,and you tell me we don't have to go there?
Really now"?
Him:"what are you cooking"?

I chuckled and turned to have a good look at him with a knife in my hand (coz I was chopping
onion :v )

Me:"ezi chap zi gcwalise apha because benileqwa,benileqwa because ninezinto ezi illegal in those
creepy black cars,and you all know ningabanjwa even you? phikisa?"

He kept quiet,ndamjonga

Me:"Lama polisa uyawaz' moss ba azobuya ne warrant ngomso? Not just a warrant of arrest but a
search warrant,then nibanjwe dammit! Now pls thetha inyani Z'khali nisenjeni nyhani this time
around"
Him:"Luu beka imela"
Me:"khaw'thethe man ayikuhluphi nganto le mela"
Him:"you're pointing it to me and its distracting kaloku Luu"
Me:"nigga answer the flippen question bo"!
Him:"okay keep it down,yes anyan'sile lamarhati and nawe unyansile"
Me:"ooh...sinyanisile"?
Him:"baby man,you know how these things get"

I took a deep breath...

Me:"I get you,I do but baby do you realise the danger ondifake kuyo"?

He kept quiet,I turned and continued with the cooking in silence

Him:"we had nowhere else to go,I know the risk I've put us in and I'll make sure you're safe at all
times"

One of his guys came to give him a phone...

Him:"baby I have to take this"

Me:"take it kalok"

He took the phone waphuma,I continued cooking. I only cooked for the two of us,bend'fike kutyiwa
mos apha and besides that andiyo maid yabo mna. Sausage stew seemed to be the easiest I could
resort to,I dished up for us,left his in the oven ndathatha okwam and went to my room ndatyela
khona. As I was eating I recieved a call from Libo
Me:"Libhongo"
Her:"Trina hi,look I just wanted to apologise about earlier today"
Me:"oh..."
Her:"I really didn't mean to belittle you,but given our past I am kinda hostile"
Me:"you didn't belittle me sweety,you just exposed how of a little mind you are"
Her:"I just hope I didn't mess up my chances"
Me:"that all depends on your application letter,you need to convince me you don't only want this
but that you need it"
Her:"okay,I'll do that"
Me:"sho"

I hung up ndatya ndagqiba then ndangena ezingubeni and called my mother-in-law I missed
her,more-so I just wanted to hear an elder's voice. Just...

Her:"hallo"
Me:"mama,unjani"?
Her:"Luthando? Ndiphilile mntanam unjani wena"
Me:"nd'philile nam,bendinicinga nje akhonto mama"
Her:"ooh okay,umgqibele nini umyeni wakho"
Me:"ukhona ulapha eBhayi mama"
Her:"tyhini uNtando ngoku ebesithi akekho"
Me:"ufike namhlanje kanti,bekungekho nto ingxamileyo ubumfunela yona phof"?
Her:"ha.a sisi,ebebuzwa ngu Owentando ba uza nini apha"
Me:"ooh okay,I think ndizoza ngokwam uzobathatha ngo June"
Her:"inoba uzaw'lala nolala ke xa uza ngokwakho"
Me:"ewe ma ubusuku nje obunye won't hurt"
Her:"hay ke kuhle"

Ntando walked in

Me:"okay then,goodnight"
Her:"goodnight makoti"

I hung up ndombatha ndalala,I knew Ntando was going so I didn't bother myself ngaye tu

Him:"Luthando"
Me:"your food is in the oven"?
Him:"nd'cela undijonge"
Me:"khaw'hambe bro I need to sleep,ndiyavuka mna ngomso"
Him:"andingo bro wakho"
Me:"just go. Please"
Him:"ndijonge k'qala"
Me:"kunini ndakujonga na mfondini,hay khand'yeke"
Him:"if aw'funi uyaz'ba andiphakami apha,meaning awahambi namajita"

What? Yhu!
I mumbled as I turned ndamjonga,was'ke wand'jamela

Me:"hay yinton' wandiqobisela kwam"?

Him:"siyahamba"
Me:"good,yinton kengoku wangath' uyikati ebe amaqanda"?
Him:"can I atleast get a kiss'nyana just before I go"?

I laughed at him at first then I tried to compose myself,seeing a tough guy like him say that really
tickled my funny bone. I got up and squated on him sajongana

Me:"andina kiss yakho mna"

Him:"you know you're my muse nje Mrs Ntabeni"
Me:"mmkay,but before I kiss you,I need to know uzobuya nini kengok"
Him:"andikho sure"
Me:"mmh"

I lead him,we kissed passionately my hands itching to tear his vest off but self-control got the better
of me. We stopped when his phone rang,ndasuka kwa kuye kemnake.
He kissed my cheek and left.

...

Following day
I woke up and went to work,Libhongo was already waiting by the door. Ndambulisa sangena and
headed to my office,I sat down ndamjonga. She filled in her bag wakhupha le application letter,I
read through it in silence. It seemed sincerely written

Me:"impressive"
Her:"thank you"

I dialed Noma...

Her:"Nalique's Boutique good morning, Noma speaking how can I assist"?

Me:"Noma,could you pls come up to my office"
Her:"yes ma'am"
Me:"sure"

I hung up and boiled water to make myself coffee,Noma came in

Her:"Mrs Ntabeni"
Me:"aw Noma,you know I don't like that"
Her:"akuqheleki kalok sisi ubiza iboss yakho nge first name"
Me:"this is Libhongo, pls show her around I'm sure by the end of the day uzoqhela und'biza
ngegama"
Her:"okay,pls follow me"
Libo:"thank you Tee,I promise I won't throw this back at you"
Me:"I'll hold you to that"

Bahamba
How I wish I had made muffins at home to go with this coffee :'( a thought struck ndisaphunga loo
coffee... I dialed the café

Luvo:"Luu's Internet café good day"

Me:"Good day,ndithetha no Luvo right"?
Luvo:"yes ma'am ndingakunceda njani"
Me:"pls send Lwando to my office ndim u Sibongile"
Luvo:"oh okay ma'am"
Me:"thank you"

I hung up ndamlinda,he was there within 10 minutes I motioned for him to sit down

Me:"there's a space pha kuni on your right xa ungena emnyango,right"?

Him:"ewe ma'am"
Me:"would it be big enough to have a counter? Display counter I mean"
Him:"like the one at the boutique"?
Me:"yes,but smaller"
Him:"ewe ingangena madam"
Me:"I want you guys to try selling cupcakes or muffins,if I can ndizozama a coffee machine as well"
Him:"ohkay"
Me:"do you think it could work though"?
Him:"yeah sure,besizoza kuwe thina about la bar fridge ise ofisini"
Me:"what about it"?
Him:"besicinga uthengisa amanzi or drink coz abantu abangenayo bayay'buza"
Me:"ookay...its a good idea too but la bar fridge ndiyenzele nina for ii lunch zenu"
Him:"okay"
Me:"since sesingena kwi winter masizameni le ye coffee ne muffins,during summer we'll change to
cool drinks"
Him:"uyavakala,so kusezoqala kufakwe le counter mos"
Me:"yes,I'll talk to my team later on today"
Him:"alright,we'll wait on you"
Me:"alright sharp"

He left
I emailed Lauren ndamcacisela lento nd'funa bayenze kula café then I got on with my work.
Within two months after opening the two businesses I opened the restaurant,did that cupcake
counter at the café and now I was busy going up and down looking for an affordable coffee machine
without any success. I started off by baking about 30 muffins a day,two different flavours coz I didn't
want to outsource just yet and then it doesn't work out. I also had a week to attend my business
classes and a week to go and fetch my nunies,the excitement was too much! I knew sis Fats was
going to be very helpful in the baking side... U good lamama.
..
It was a Thursday, I had just got home from work and I was tired AF. A delivery truck pulled up at my
door step and gave me a sealed package then left,I opened the package and smiled at the sight of a
bottle of red wine,Lindt chocolate and a note: 'Behind every Beast,lies a Beauty <3 N'
I needed a hot greasy massage from bae but the gifts will do,for now. I removed three chicken wings
from the marinate bucket and grilled for the 25 minutes while I ran myself a bubble bath and soaked
myself in with a glass of red wine next to me,my King called

Me:"my lord"
Him:"my Queen,iyakukhumbula i King"
Me:"mayibuye i King kaloku,oh and thank you for the gifts"
Him:"pleasure,ndizobuya Saturday"
Me:"buya Sunday andikho Saturday"
Him:"hay uyaphi Saturday"?
Me:"intombi ay'buzwa ndoda"
Him:"uyintombi yam ndodwa kalok I have to ask"
Me:"ndiya eMonti babe ngomso late ndizobuya Sunday"
Him:"how 'bout we pick you up sihambe sobabini"?
Me:"uya eMonti nawe"?
Him:"ewe kalok,aw'funi ukuya nam kanti wena"
Me:"mmh,I won't say no to a free ride. Pick me up at 6"
Him:"sure...watchu busy doing right now"?
Me:"bathing,enjoying your gifts"
Him:"mmh,pity I'm not around"
Me:"pity for you otherwise ndi right mna"
Him:"u right njani ndingekho"?
Me:"bye bye baby"
Him:"Luthando ha.a"
Me:"I love you vha"
Him:"Luthando"

I hung up,got out of the water,drained it and wore my gown ndayotya ii wings zam with Greek salad.

#365

I went to eat my dinner,when I was done I packed a couple of comfortable shoes and clothes for the
weekend then I conducted a shopping list for the following day,list nje yezinto endizongena ngazo
endlini xand'fika ebantwaneni. When I was done with everything I took my phones and got in
bed,decided to check on Marcus. The phone rang two times then it went off :/ I tried again,this
time around it rang for a couple of seconds before lady Linda answered...

Her:"Marc's phone Linda speaking"

Me:"Linda hi,uphi u Marcus"
Her:"he just went out,can I take a message"
Me:"no. Thank you"
Her:"sharp"

I hung up and called Lwandiso

Him:"bheyibhi"
Me:"nguban'lo undishiyayo apha kuwe Lwandiso"
Him:"hay yinton"
Me:"uthi hay ntoni? How long have you been gone? Aw' text'i,aw'phone'i awenzi nix"
Him:"ooh mntase,uxolo maan,ndafika ndabusy apha"
Me:"hay besend'sithi ndishiyiwe"
Him:"lonto ukhweleta wogqitha no Lindo,kus'ke kuthini"?
Me:"eyoba amathe uLindo wakho ay'funi mna lonto,I miss you fondini"
Him:"I know sweetie,I miss your food more than anything"
Me:"rha ungcolile Soso"
Him:"what have I done now"?
Me:"I tell you I miss you tell me ukhumbula ukutya kwam? Really"?
Him:"heee hay Yesu iza! Mntase umgqibele nini u Beastero"?
Me:"who the hell is that"?
Him:"incentsa yakho"
Me:"ungenaphi kulento siy'thethayo kengok"?
Him:"mnk mnk mnk,you do realise that andiyo side dish yakho ne"?
Me:"aw'muncu Soso bro"
Him:"yhu mntase maan! Yaz u bitter ngath' use desert,ugqibele nin' ufumana izinto ezimnandi"?
Me:"fokof Soso vha"
Him:"nantsoke"!
Me:"I don't even know why I called you"
Him:"because you missed me,ubusando confess'a nje ngoku"
Me:"bye bye"
Him:"I love you too"

I hung up ndalala,after a few minutes kanye xand'qala ulala

Ntando texted a "goodnight" so I called him

Him:"bendingakuvusi!
Me:"eshe bendingeka lali,khona...since when do you text"?
Him:"hee haikengok"
Me:"hay nyhan,I never taught you to text me ufundiswe ngubani"?
Him:"and'fundiswanga mntu but bend'cingela wena babe"
Me:"hay babe ungaphindi vha,uright pha kwi calls"
Him:"you don't like texts now kodwa uncokola koo WhatsApp nabanye abantu"
Me:"nantso kanye lento ndingay'funiyo"
Him:"u WhatsApp"?
Me:"ewe baby andimfuni kuwe,next thing you'll be texting,video and voice calling me ku
WhatsApp,hay hay"
Him:"but what's wrong with that? Coz its not like you don't know I have WhatsApp"
Me:"baby man awundimamelanga"
Him:"okay,what are you saying"?
Me:"Pls stick to the calling tu,you can save the texting for your sidechicks"
Him:"I don't have sidechicks"
Me:"then just don't text,mna nd'funa u founelwa shem and ndiqheliswe nguwe"
Him:"nc nc nc,good night ke Luthando"
Me:"heke! Goodnight mntuwam"
Him:"I love you"
Me:"ha.a babe buya ngoku eKapa uyamoshakala,say it in Xhosa"

He laughed
Him:"ndiyak'thanda mam'Zangwa"
Me:"uthandwa ndim Z'khali,uzund'vuse ngo 4 k'sasa"
Him:"uyaphi ngo 4"?
Me:"I have to bake before I go to work"
Him:"ooh okay,lala ke"
Me:"night"

I put the phone under the pillow ndalala.

...

He was driving a blue Toyota Fortuner on high speed,I saw another coming head-on ndamkhwaza
but he was somehow too focused on what he was doing than what I was saying,within a second I
heard tires screeching and scating on the tar I knew then to expect a 'BANG' and so it came. I ran
towards where the Fortuner had rolled over to,it had vomit him onto the rocky hill and his t-shirt
was ripped and it has blood stains all over it. I tried waking him up,calling his name even slapping his
face but he wasn't responding to anything. In that moment I realised that I could loose him,just like
that and I felt my heart ripping to pieces. I held his head onto my thighs and cried for help but no
one came,no one heard my cry... Instead I heard a sound that could easy be linked to a truck,also
coming at high speed towards up then I just froze as it came nearer and nearer..

My phone was vibrating under the pillow,I searched for it ndasabela still confused of the dream I just
had

Me:"hm"
Him:"yi 10 past 4"
Me:"kay"

We hung up.
I sat up and looked around,nxa. This was just surreal to be a dream. I went to shower,bathing would
make me sleepy all over again. Then I went to bake these cupcakes... No man I was really distracted.
After I put the first batch in the stove I sat down and called my husband

Him:"hm"
Me:"ulele"
Him:"hmm"
Me:"kay"

I let him sleep,atleast he's home. Safe. My heart beat faster every time I closed my eyes even for a
second I'd see him lying on that rocky hill with blood stains all over him. He must have woken up
after I called him coz he called me back

Me:"baby"
Him:"hey,u sharp"?
Me:"yeah"
Him:"ubuzothini when you called just now"?
Me:"I was just checking on you,I had a bad dream"
Him:"about me"?
Me:"yes...but it was just a dream,don't worry about it"
Him:"okay,pray over it. I'll do the same"
Me:"ayt"
Him:"call you again when I'm awake"
Me:"love you"
Him:"love you"

We hung up
I continued baking,then I went to get ready for work. My heart,my entire mind wasn't here. I
couldn't shake off that dream but I had no choice. Life had to go on.
After three hours nd'fikile emsebenzini I got a call from Anelisa,so I tried to keep my cool you know?
She's not my favourite person and she knows that

Me:"hello"
Her:"hi,how are you"?
Me:"I'm okay,you"?
Her:"I'm good,ndcela sithethe S'bongile"
Uthe net atcho ndaphakama ndazenzela i kofu,took a chocolate muffin and sat down,I knew this was
going to be a long phone call :/ I wasn't in the mood for this. Not by one bit

Me:"ooh-kay"
Her:"Any child needs umzali wakhe,you're a mother and you spent most of your childhood without
umama so you should know that better than anyone"
Me:"mh"
Her:"I have no doubt that you love her and that she's taken good care of but ndim unina and I want
to build a relationship with her"
Me:"mh"
Her:"nd'cela uthethe no myeni wakho torho,okokuba siqale kule holiday and'boleke u Sino"
Me:"mh"
Her:"und'mamele phof"?
Me:"ewe"
Her:"oh okay so,will you help me"?
Me:"no"
Her:"oh S'bongile ntombi I'm actually begging here,funeka nd'thini ke"?
Me:"talk to Ntando bro,you have his number,you know where he lives"
Her:"uyamazi u Ntando soze avume kwa ukundimamela"
Me:"I don't know that"
Her:"he never listens to anything coming out of my mouth,nawe uyayazi lonto"
Me:"but when you came with that adoption crap you and Chuma ochestrated wakumamela. How
did you do it"?
Her:"things are different now"
Me:"things have always been different Anelisa,what's new now"?
Her:"Ntando's suing my brothers for the money he paid for their tuition,accommodation and
everything else while they were living abroad now he doesn't even pick my calls or respond to my
texts"
Me:"I guess when they threatened him with lawsuit for Sino they didn't think of their own debt
towards him"
Her:"they are your brothers too you know? You shouldn't be rejoicing over this instead we should be
working together helping them wherever we can"
Me:"I don't have time to rejoice over other people's mischiefs,I have my own problems to deal with"
Her:"that's not how I see it though,and while you're at it uyicinge ba some of us have real problems"
Me:"I don't really care how you see it seeing that you reckon I don't have real problems"
Her:"hay cummon stop fooling yourself,we know iingxaki zakho go from which shoe to buy to which
lingerie to wear for him"
Oh-kay
Now my day was bad enough ndivuka,entertaining her would really make it worse. I swear.

Me:"mmkay,are we done now? I have work to do"

Her:"just think about what I said"
Me:"mh"

She hung up
I finished my coffee and looked for my other phones,I knew I could possibly have a couple of missed
calls and they would probably be from hubby,I returned the call..
Him:"hey"
Me:"hey,you called"
Him:"yeah your line was busy,how're you feeling now"?
I sighed...
Me:"I don't know"
Him:"you don't know"?
Me:"can you pick me up earlier than la six"?
Him:"why do you sound...down,upset"?
Me:"I think I need a hug"
Him:"baby u right"?
Me:"I'm fine,just... Khaw'zame ufika earlier. Pls"
Him:"okay"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and exhaled. I emailed all three supervisors informing them that I won't be coming in the
entire weekend,then I went to Libhongo's office. She was now my accountant,I knocked and went in

Her:"Tee,come in"
Me:"do you have a minute"?
Her:"yeah sure"
Me:"I'm going away for the weekend"
Her:"oh-kay"
Me:"I need you to keep the books up to date while I'm gone,I'll be checking them on Monday"
Her:"yes ma'am"
Me:"thank you"

I turned to walk out

Her:"I know we're not friends uyi boss yam, but are okay"?
Me:"I'm fine. Thank you for asking"
Her:"okay,enjoy your weekend then"
Me:"nawe"

Ndaphuma,went to my office,took my bag ndagoduka. Umzimba wam wonke nje ubuphantsi ngath'
ndizova umphanga :( when I reached my house ndakhulula ndayovasa once again then ndakhupha
a denim dress and white ankle Allstars then I wrapped myself in a gown,drank two painkillers then
ndalala.

Again...
The dream repeated itself,exactly like it was ek'zeni kusa but the only difference this time around
was it felt more real.

"Luthando! Baby wake up. Luthando"

I could hear his voice but with his head on my lap I couldn't understand why,how I'm hearing his
voice... Maybe its in my head,I convinced myself.

"baby wake up! S'bongile"!

I felt a splash of water on my face I jolted up and looked around... Ntando was here,when did he
come in? Maybe that's why my dream seemed so real,and to make it worse he was wearing the
same t-shirt that was ripped and stained in the dream
One look at him ndavela ndanesingqala,and I couldn't stop myself when tears started falling down
my cheeks

Him:"babe..hey,hey...come here"

I moved closer to him and fell into his arms,he hugged me so tight, exactly what I needed.

#366

After a couple of minutes of balling my eyes out ndasuka kuye ndayovasa ubuso ndabuya
engakhange aphakame kwakulendawo ebehleli kuyo.

Me:"aw'lambanga? So that sitye before we go"?

Him:"khaw'sondele"
Me:"for ntoni"
Him:"Luthando"
Me:"khayeke kuzode kube late tatakhe man"
Him:"haibo babe ndiyak'biza"
-_-

I went to sit next to him

Him:"was it the same dream"?

Me:"ewe"
Him:"kwenzeka ntoni kwel'phupha"?
Me:"uba kwi car accident then ube unconscious,unxibe exactly like this and you're driving a
Fortuner"
Him:"a Fortuner"?
Me:"yeah...e blue"

Wand'jonga wathula... I got up to get dressed

Me:"sihamba ngantoni"?
Him:"we're driving"
Me:"I don't think nd'funa anything with imoto mna babe"
Him:"hm"

I got dressed
Then he took my bags saya ezantsi,I fixed him a quick meal then served him. After that I made myself
green tea and joined him. He put his tray on the coffee table,turned to face my side and then
planted a soft kiss on my lips I blushed. He repeated this for up to three times

Me:"you're making me feel like a baby"

Him:"but aw'ngo baby wam"?
Me:"aw'zofika ebantwaneni bakho sew'ngena thando"?
Him:"uyand'hlaza kodwa babe"
Me:"ndenzeni"?
Him:"you're making me feel like andik'thandi"
Me:"uyand'thanda ke"?
Him:"aw'funi sihambe ngomso? Ndizok'bonisa kakuhle that I love you"?
Me:"ndilindelwe namhlanje endlini. And I miss my kids"
Him:"and I see you don't miss me"
Me:"you can never compare yourself to my babies,they will always take first priority"
Him:"but kalok nam mand'fakwe kwii priorities"
Me:"baby"
Him:"baby"
Me:"you are a priority kum,until death do us part"
Him:"I sense a but"
Me:"but for now,you owe me"
Him:"I owe you? What do I owe you"?
Me:"xa umnka for two full months who do you think is husbanding me"?
Him:"hus- baby is that even a word"?
Me:"well it is now"
Him:"well I'm here now,and I'll be husbanding you ude udikwe undigxothe"
Me:"itya sihambe babe,nd'bakhumbula nyhani abantwana bam"

He didn't respond but watya wagqiba then took my bags saphuma,I locked my house just as he went
to put the bag in the car. Xand'bheka just as I had finished locking,my eyes locked at the blue
Fortuner in my driveway I froze on the spot just as the dream flashed back. He was already in the
car,he noticed that I'm not moving so he flickered the lights on me but I didn't move one bit until he
lowered his window and peeped out

Him:"ulinde ntoni ngoku"?

Me:"you're driving this? This blue Fortuner? Since when do you drive colourful cars"?
Him:"well I do now,masambe kaloku kuzode kube late kakhulu"
Me:"but tatakhe you didn't tell me uhamba ngale moto,this is exactly the same car I saw in my
dream"
Him:"mamakhe akhonto izokwenzeka masambe"
Me:"Ntando no,I'm not going in that car. Ha.a mntaka bawo asoze ndizise engcwabeni ndilibona"

He sighed and got out and called the guys who are supposed to keep an eye on me for safety
reasons to bring us a car. He came to stand right infront of me still talking on the phone

I folded my arms ndamjonga nje until he finished talking

Him:"Bullet is coming with another car,you can relax now"

Me:"ayizolala apha mos le imoto"?
Him:"ha.a bazohamba nayo"
Me:"now call Mo"
Him:"but baby he's re-"
Me:"I told you andibaweli kuya Monti ngemoto mna,so please"
Him:"okay okay,no need to be upset now"
Me:"now call Mo kaloku"

He kissed my cheek as he dialed his pilot ndalinda mna in peace, his guys came through basisa e
airport oko nd'thule ke mna coz I don't understand him. Ndimxelela what I saw,he wants to be in it?
Not ngoku ahamba nam,aze enze loo matshamba xa ehamba nee chomi zakhe mntakulo Saule!

Him:"Luu"
Me:"hm"
Him:"you do understand that it was just a dream neh"?

I didn't answer him

He came to sit next to me in silence but pulled me for a cuddle,the flight to EL was a quiet one until
we landed. A car was already waiting for us sakhwela and went home,xasifika phandle ngapha kwe
gate ndabona ba the lights were still on so that gave me a lil hope that abaka lali

Me:"I hope they're still awake"

Him:"they could be,kuse early"

We drove in,sohlika saphathisana as I went to knock on the front door. Obviously we were expected
coz kukho a very high standard se security phaya,sis Fatima came to open wavuya yena k'qala as we
hugged and went inside ndadlula mna ndaya elounge

Me:"molweni bethunani"

Everyone jumped off their chairs bagilana ukuza kum,I hugged all of them but I had to pick up my
twin Princes yho bebemkhumbula nabo umama wabo. I picked both of them ndabulisa umakhulu
wabo then we sat down,Owe and his sister behleli ku tata wabo as sibuza impilo abantwana bam
bedlala nangez'dlele zam,kissing umama wabo and telling me everything.

Since it was already late,we all headed to our rest rooms. The twins were on the bed playing
together while I was undressing,utata wabo ebesayolalisa aba badala. I joined my sons sancokola

Uba:"mamam"
Uve:"hay Uba,mamam loh"

I got between them sadlala until Ntando came in and joined us but they ignored him wangathi
akekho

Him:"kuthen' ndingahoywanga mna? Uba iza ku tata"

Uba:"zolal'umamam mna"
Him:"Uve"
Uve:"ha.a"
Me:"bayeke babe"

We continued playing yangath' abasoze balale aba but they eventually did,nam ndaphumla. The
following day I woke up and went to prepare breakfast for everyone,u sis Fats ufike send'gqiba

Her:"oh sew'gqibile"
Me:"ewe sisi,ungayophumla"
Her:"oh okay"

I dished up i porridge ndasela umama k'qala in her room

Her:"heee oh makoti,enkosi mntanam"

Me:"uzophunga i rooibos or i kofu"
Her:"rooibos without sugar"
Me:"okay"

I went to serve my husband ndamnika nezabantwana bakhe

Me:"nd'cela ubatyise love"

Him:"basalele nje"
Me:"uzobavusa xa ugqibile ukutya kalok"
Him:"mmkay,uzotyelaphi wena"?
Me:"nd'sapheka mna"
Him:"ukhona u sis Fats nje"
Me:"she can't do umsebenzi wam noba sendikhona kaloku babe"

I left him ndayosebenza ezantsi,once everyone was up I made preparations for lunch and Sino came
to assist
Her:"so mama sizohamba nani"
Me:"ewe sisi"
Her:"sihamba nini"?
Me:"ngomso babe"
Her:"ooh"

I thought of a strategy somngena ngalento ka nina...

Me:"baby don't you miss Anelisa"?

Her:"ha.a mama"
Me:"not nakancinci"?
Her:"hay mama u Anelisa? Ha.a shame"
Me:"what if I told you she misses you? And maybe,she'd like to spend a weekend with you"
Her:"well I could speak to daddy first,and maybe see her for that weekend"
Me:"so you mean uyafuna wena,but you'll need daddy's approval"
Her:"ewe mama"
Me:"oh okay"

Okay so now I had to soften Ntando up atleast for him to consider giving Anelisa a weekend with her
daughter. This was gonna be hard coz I know exactly how he feels about this whole situation AND
ontop of that I don't know if I can trust Anelisa at all...ebengumntu oya phesheya not so long ago
what if she skips the country nomntana ka Ntando?

Ntando brought the twins to the kitchen

Him:"Thando ambonxiba sihambeni"

Her:"yho I almost forgot"

She dropped alas and ran to her room,her father came closer and planted a kiss on my waiting lips

Me:"kuyiwaphi"?
Him:"taking them out,ufuna uhamba nawe"?
Me:"ha.a"
Him:"mh,don't overwork yourself"
Me:"okay daddy..."
Him:"ndi serious Luthando"
Me:"ndiyakuva kalok tatakhe, just promise me nizoba safe apho nikhuphelana khona"
Him:"don't worry yourself sibadala"
Me:"hm"

Owe came to hug me,his sister followed as they left the house. I suddenly got worried coz you can
never be too careful kwindawo eno Ntando,his life nje spells and attracts danger but I kept them in a
silent heart prayer. Once they were gone I now had a chance to have a proper conversation with my
mother-law coz bendingafuni babuye nyhani abantwana bam,the way I missed them these past few
months I didn't wanna go through that again... I went to her e lounge
Me:"mama can we talk"
Her:"iza izohlala aph'ecaleni kwam sisi,what's bothering you"?
Me:"hay mama nothing is bothering me that much but I want to discuss something with you"
Her:"oh okay"
Me:"mama nd'cela oo Ubabalo bangabuyi bona xak'buya oo Sino,nd'funa uhlala nabo"
Her:"how will you cope kule business yakho intsha kengok mntanam"
Me:"I will cope just fine mama,ndiyabakhumbula"
Her:"hay akhongxaki but kuzofuneka niphinde nithathe no Fatima ayokuncedisa kaloku"
Me:"but wena uzoncediswa nguban' mama"?
Her:"heee,andidingi ncedo mna Luthando,kalok kwa yena ulapha kuba amawele elepha mntanam"
Me:"so lilonke mama you don't have a problem with me taking the kids"
Her:"they need their mother and here you are,andiboni ngxaki"
Me:"yho enkosi"
Her:"but uncede ubabuyise xa bekoyisa"
Me:"okay ma"
Her:"umyen'akho ubusow'mxelele phof"?
Me:"yhu lowo? Ufuna ndalekelise"
Him:"unyansile nje,nam nd'funa lendlu ithi saa ngabantwana"
Me:"ha.a mama not now yhu,maybe next year or in two years ke"
Her:"kanti ke ngew'zala ugqibe ngoku usemncinci"
Me:"my sons are two years old...andinokwaz' ubangxulela. Yhu umitha nkos'yam"
She laughed at me
I was afraid of getting pregnant mna because of my previous experiences with pregnancies,my
pregnancies were never easy especially with tha AUB issue and the depressin thereafter.

#367

I took out i laundry ka mama from her bedding,clothing to her curtains ndazivasa,I even continued to
ezabantwana bam and then once I was done I started spring cleaning the entire house. Nge lunch I
asked sis Fats to dish up for us coz besend'phekile and Ntando wasn't back yet nabantwana bakhe. I
worked my butt off! I wasn't complaining though, noko usuku olunye nje vo won't hurt.
When I was done with everything I went to bath and freshen up,then I took a car and went home. I
couldn't leave East London without going home even if its just for a few minutes. So I approached
the house just as a car was driving out so the woman stopped and rolled down her window...

Her:"hello"
Me:"hello"
Her:"I'm Charlene,can I help you"?
Me:"uhm... I don't know. I just wanted to spend a couple of minutes in here"
Her:"in here? Who are you"?
Me:"oh I'm sorry,I'm Trina and this is my home"
Her:"Trina you say? Are you sure you're not lost,coz I live here"
Me:"you live here? Since when"?
Her:"I don't mean to be rude but honey I don't have to explain myself to you"
Me:"you-"
Her:"now if you pls, I have somewhere to be"

I nod and rolled up my window and reversed my car out of that place.
I drove out to McD's and bought myself a Big Mac,Pepsi and a McFlurry then I called Marcus. Hay he
had to explain to me what just happend,yhini ugxothwa libhulu ekhaya ntombi?
His phone rang for eternity before his current girlfriend answered -_- again? Like what the hell?

Her:"Marc's phone hello"?

Me:"Linda hi,uph' u Marcus"?
Her:"use bathroom,wanna leave a message"?
Me:"nd'cela use i phone kuye"
Her:"uyavasa"
Me:"I'm sure he can dry a hand and take the phone"
Her:"yho,eshe"

-_-
This was no day to entertain her,I had real life problems to handle.
Him:"little one"
Me:"is she also your PA now"?
Him:"what are you talking about"?
Me:"last time I called you she answered,and you never returned my call"
Him:"Tee"
Me:"doesn't matter,can we talk"?
Him:"oh-kay"
Me:"did you or Keri sell our home in East London"?
Him:"I don't recall anyone selling our home"
Me:"are you sure"?
Him:"yes. Why,what happened"?
Me:"I was there just now and a woman by the name Charlene lives there"
Him:"Charlene"?
Me:"and she didn't allow me in,I just wanted to see if I could find anything valuable that could have
belonged to my mother"
Him:"let me call Keri and find out"
Me:"okey dokey"
Him:"what are you doing in East London anyway"?
Me:"came to fetch the kids"
Him:"ooh,I miss you. Maybe I should visit you now and spend a lil time with the little ones"
Me:"you should,just don't bring your girlfriend"
Him:"hay Tee don't do that"
Me:"I know I can't choose for you who to date but I don't have room for her in my house"
Him:"you don't like her,do you"?
Me:"I don't have to like her,you loving her is enough"
Him:"but you didn't like Liz either,I had to beg you to tolerate her"
Me:"I had my personal reasons for that"
Him:"and Linda? You haven't even given her a chance"
Me:"I don't like her because you used her kill another woman's confidence and she allowed you"
Him:"you should be hating me not the other way round,she did no wrong"
Me:"so you do agree that you played with Elizabeth's feelings when you could have just dumped
her"
Him:"well I tried,she just wouldn't budge"
Me:"well I still don't like Linda"
Him:"I won't force you,but nextweek I am coming to visit you in PE"
Me:"as I said at the begining of this topic,you are always welcome uncle Marc"
Him:"ayt then"
Me:"go to your Linda"
He laughed and hung up. I ate my food and headed back to the car as I dialed my husband while
driving back home,haibo I missed my babies kaloku...

Him:"mntu ka Beast"
Me:"Beast womntu,uphi na mfondini nabantwana bam"?
Him:"miss us already"?
Me:"I miss my kids not you"
Him:"they're having fun with daddy ukhethe ungahambi nathi"
Me:"yho hay bethuna mommy misses them kodwa"
Him:"so you don't miss me,you miss them"?
Me:"hay suka ndizakwenzani wena"?
Him:"akhonto uno ndenza yona tu"?
Me:"ikhona ke"?
Him:"nd'buza kuwe kalok"
Me:"niqqa we aint friends why should I miss you"?
Him:"but we could be friends with benefits though"
Me:"naah I'll pass...but maybe ungayi personal trainer yam coz I need to look hot for this coming
summer"
Him:"you need to look hot? U cold ngoku"?
Me:"uyand'xelela"?
Him:"ndiyakubuza"
Me:"I don't know kalok nguwe onolwazi"
Him:"mmh,uphi na nd'siva iimoto"?
Me:"nd'sendleleni"
Him:"uyaphi ndingekho"?
Me:"ndiya endlini,I just took a drive"
Him:"ooh okay,khayeke"
Me:"haibo who called who"?
Him:"kalok ndigade abantwana bakho mna so I really have to put the phone down"
Me:"mmh kay ke nizobuya nini"?
Him:"pretty soon,basadlala iigame ngoku. Last round"
Me:"alright ke mntu ka Luthando,uthe uLuu wakho mandik'xelele uyakuthanda neh"
Him:"mxelele ndithe nam nd'yamthanda ntwana yam"
Me:"sharp ke ntwana"
Him:"before you go..."
Me:"mh"
Him:"uzotya ntoni umntu ka Luu tonight"?
Me:"ufuna utya ntoni tonight mntu ka Luu"?
Him:"something fat,tasty,mouth watering and meaty"
I laughed
Him:"why are you laughing kengok"?
Me:"tone yakho doesn't say uthetha ngokutya mfondini"
Now he laughed
Him:"heee,what else could be fat,tasty,mouth watering and meaty if ayikokutya"?
Yho ndaphela yintsini..
Him:"heh Luthando.."
Me:"unomfazi nje uzotya lento uy'funayo Z'khali"
Him:"nd'yabulela Khwalo"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and parked the car ndangena endlini,nd'fika umama engekho. I went to Fats' room...

Me:"umama uyephi"?
Her:"uye ecaweni kwinkonzo yo mama"
Me:"ooh okay,ubuya what time normally"?
Her:"pha nge past three"
Me:"oh okay"

I went to cook pap and sticky marinated beef with tasty gravy,ebethe something meaty and tasty
mos so nantsi ke ndimenzele. When I was done I went to lay on my bed for a few minutes,my back
was killing me terribly. I lay on my belly and closed my eyes... My waist was in a knot :'(
Phaa nge past four caba bend'shiye i phone yam e Kitchen,I heard a knock ndaphakama kanti Fats
came to give me my phone. Apparently one of Ntando's guys was calling
I took the phone and looked at the screen just as Fats left and returned to where she was

Me:"hello"
Him:"Mrs,ungakwaz' ukhaw'leza uze aph'e town"?
Me:"ndize e town? Nd'thetha nabani khona"?
Him:"uthethe no Slujah sisteri"
Me:"onh so ndiza Entweni etown"?
Him:"ikhona ingxaki encinci madam"
Me:"ingxaki"?
Him:"I can't say much right now but can you come"?
Me:"oh okay,phi ke"?
Him:"aph'eLife"
Me:"e Life? Life as in Life the hospital"?
Him:"ewe sisteri"
Me:"okay...who's hospitalized? Uph' uNtando? Where are my kids"?
Him:"he said I should call you...I'll wait for you at the door"
Me:"hewethu S'lulamile baphi abantwana bam kuyo yonke lento uy'thethayo"?

He kept quiet

Me:"yeses uNtando"!

I grabbed my slippers and rushed out grabbing the car keys on my way. I started the ignition dialing
Ntando's phone while driving out,watsho ku Voicemail ndaphinda enye but ended with the same
result. The way I drove to town,the grace of God carried me coz bendingaboni kwa traffic lights mna
bend'qhuba qha. I had one thing fixed on my mind: abantwana bam. For once I didn't care about
Ntando,he's a big guy but the thought of my children hurt in any way cut me deep. I parked and ran
to the front door of the hospital,gqi ngalo S'lujah

Me:"S'lujah"
He nod wakhokela ephole nge mind
I followed behind him tryna catch up but he was too fast

Me:"S'lujah what happened"?

Akhange iqale nongath' ingandiphendula le chap yahamba qha, he entered a ward and I heard
abantwana behleka ndakhe nda confused for a second. Xasingena kwelinye icala ndathi ntla ngo
Ntando sitting on a bed,shirtless and a nurse was bandaging him around the midsection of his upper
body. My eyes roamed around the room looking for abantwana bam,I saw one twin but couldn't find
Ubabalo

Me:"uphi u Ubabalo"?
Kwathi cwaka...

Me:"uph' umntanam bethuna"?

The nurse finished what she was doing and left,I went to stand infront of Ntando with my hands on
both sides of my waist

Me:"uph' umntanam"?
Him:"babe..."
Me:"Ntando uphi umntanam mani? Uphi u Ubabalo"?

68

I saw how he strained to talk,must be the wound under the bandages but I needed umntanam mna.
Akanoba lapha yedwa u Uvelile tu

Him:"ukhona..uyeza"
Me:"ukhona uphi Ntando? Uyeza evelaphi ulapha wena"?
Him:"Luu"
Me:"hay pls don't Luu me,nd'cela undinike umntanam torho"
Him:"uyeza kaloku"
Me:"UYEZA UVELAPHI NTANDO MANI"!
Him:"he was..."

Just then another nurse walked in carrying Uba

Uba:"Umamam"

Yhu I left Ntando apho and went to take my child from this nurse,my heart broke... I wanted to cry
right then. He had a plaster on the right side of his head and a bandage on the same side from the
shoulder down to his hand.

I hugged him taking caution not to cause him any more pain ngomthunuka.

Me:"nana zam"
Him:"mama isungu apha"
Me:"I'm sorry nana,xolo vah"
Him:"kay"
Me:"masambe s'goduke mntanam"
Him:"sambe tata"

I looked at Ntando quizzically with my head cocked to the side,he just took his vest but wore is t-
shirt since it was loose fitting.

Him:"masambeni"
Me:"just like that huh? My son has a bandage up his entire arm but you have No explaination
whatsoever"?
Him:"sizothetha endlini mamakhe"
Me:"mxm"

I walked out with my son ndangena kwi moto le bendize ngayo,he followed while I buckled Uba
xandizovala ucango ndabheka ngaye nabantwana bakhe bethe cwaka ngathi zi church mice

Me:"yhinton ngoku"?
Him:"as'na moto"
Me:"what happ- mxm you know what,forget it"

I went to my side of the car,he came in and sat in the front passenger seat next to me bangena
nabanye abantwana. Once everyone was in I started the car and drove off oko nd'the cwaka
nd'qond'a ndiyacaphuka ngaphakathi coz I told him ba azabe safe especially ehamba nabantwana
and now umntwana wam has a plaster on his face and an arm wrapped in a bandage? Nx! One thing
about me is that if I drive ndicaphuka then uzoyiva kwi speed semoto

Him:"i speed Luthando"

I accelerated ndamva ba unyukelwa ngowakhe umsindo yena k'qala qha akana chance. Safika endlini
ndohlika,took Ubabalo to the bedroom ndambeka on the bed and just sat down next to him
ndamjonga in silence. I touched his face,the side that had a plaster on wondering what happened. I
touched his arm he winced ndamyeka,a tear left my eye ndayosula ntliziyo was torn nyhani
especially when I realised that I wasn't even angry anymore I was just sad,emotionally hurt.

Uba:"mama"
Me:"mh"?
Uba:"afuna itata Uba"
Me:"kay"

He doesn't understand.
His father walked in and removed his t-shirt wayovasa,and'mazi kwayena uzovasa njani ene bandage
elingakaya but ndaz'xelela mand'thule he knows what he's doing.
He walked back out with a bath towel wrapped around his waist wahlala phantsi lotioning his body
in silence. Uba used his one hand and crawled to his father

Uba:"tata"?
Him:"boy"

He slowly turned and took him to his lap

Uba:"isungu lena yakho apha tata"?

Him:"xolo ndoda evha"
Uba:"isungu eyakho?"
Him:"mh.mh"
Uba:"soli evha"
Him:"sure boy"

I got up and walked out of that room,I couldn't stand the pity party they were playing hay seyifanele
bona bantu bayo shame. I first went to the other kids bavase then I went to the kitchen and warmed
the food for dinner,umama sifike engekabuyi phofu. I didn't wanna talk no Ntando right now
ndizom'shouta nd'thethe nezinto that I'm not supposed to say ndizogqiba ndizisole emva koko.
Xand'phaka wangena umama
Her:"yhu mntanam nguwe lo wenze i washing engaka"?
Me:"bendingenanto kwenza mama"
Her:"you should've just rested yhini mntanomntu"

I just laughed as she went to change her church attires to comfortable clothes,ndaqhubekeka
ndaphaka ndicinga ukuba inoba yintoni le yenzekileyo ade abotshwe isisu umyenam and udibene
nantoni njani u Uba? Where were the others? I dished up then I took ukutya to the lounge for
umama no aunt Fats

Mama:"uphi umyeni wakho makoti"?

Me:"I think uzotyela eroomin mama"
Mama:"abantwana bona?"
Me:"ndizoba biza ngoku bend'the mabaqale bavase mama"
Mama:"oh okay"

I went to fetch ukutya kwabantwana ndakubeka elounge then ndayobajonga ndafika begqibile
ndabathumela elounge bayotya...

Uve:"mama afuni Uba ma"

Me:"uzaw'qala utye kaloku"
Uve:"ha.ana mama afuna itatam mani ma"
Me:"heh"

As the others went to eat,I took Uvelile to his father ndafika elele ngomqolo with Uba's head on his
chest ndambeka no Uve ndagoquka

Him:"Luthando"
Me:"Ntando"
Him:"can we talk"?
Me:"no"

Ndaphuma and went to fetch his food nokwabantwana bakhe then ndabashiya ndayotya nabanye
abantu ndaz'ncokolisa nje so that umama angaqhapheli nto coz uzond'buza intweninzi and I wasn't
in the mood.

When we were done eating I went to wash the dishes,cleaned everything up then ndayovasa
ndaphuma belele abantwana bam. The towel still wrapped around my body ndabathatha one by one
ndayobalalisa kweyabo i bed,I wasn't angry with him anymore coz I knew he wouldn't endanger his
children's lives purposefully. Maybe the shower helped a bit to draw me to this perspective I don't
know. I went to lotion my body ndanxiba i pyjama and went to bed next to him,now I had to talk to
him noba and'funi coz ebeleli ngaphezulu kwengubo

Me:"Ntando"?

He didn't move
Looking at the bandage I felt sorry for him,he must have been given some sedatives to sleep off the
pain...
I slowly shook him wade wavula amehlo kancinci

Him:"hey"
Me:"phakama"
Him:"mh"
He closed his eyes once again
Then slowly waphakama so that ndivule iingubo nam,ndangena ez'ngubeni while he went to the
bathroom wabuya wakhulula wangena ethe cwaka. I had lay on my back,meaning andikalali qha
ndiyacinga.

Him:"nd'cela uxolo mamakhe"

Me:"how's your wound"?
Him:"its okay"
Me:"sure"
Him:"Luu"
Me:"nd'cela silale ngoku,pls"
Him:"I want to tell you what happened ku Uba"
Me:"you can tell me k'sasa"
Him:"I'm sorry"
Me:"I heard you the first time,now goodnight"

He kept quiet
...
Ek'seni ndavuka ndavasa abantwana bam bobabini then ndayobenzela ipapa,we had to leave East
London before we loose each other here. Mama came out enxibe iimpahla zecawe

Her:"hee kanene niyahamba namhlanje Luthando"

Me:"ewe mama,and ingath' sizohamba ungekabuyi"
Her:"hay mand'qale ndiyo bhabhayisa abanta bam ke"

She went to Sino and Owe's room while I continued making breakfast for everyone,on her return she
kissed the twins and then left for church. I took Ntando's food to him ndafika xa evuka,his sons were
right behind me phof nd'babone xandingena e bedroom. I put the tray next to the bed,he went to
the bathroom wabuya
Him:"thank you"

I sat down next to him as I watched him eat,seeing him in pain hurt me too y'know. When I saw that
he was almost done ndaqond'ba mandimbuze what really happened

Me:"so...kwenzekeni izolo"?

He began narrating how they were shot at,ebehamba no Uba abanye abantwana ebashiye ku
S'lujah. When the shooters couldn't get him they shot at the tyres,they rolled off-road and thats how
my son sprained his arm and got the scratch on his face.

Me:"and you? How did you get whatever this is"?

Him:"kungoku besizama uphuma,I think a zinc cut me"
Me:"is it too deep"?
Him:"ha.a..."
Me:"does it hurt? Like the unbearable kinda hurt"?
Him:"its not too much,don't worry yourself babe"
Me:"I'm sorry"

He turned and looked at me,he pulled me close I hugged him cautiously. I realised how lucky I've just
been,if not for God I'd be mourning for my husband and my son right now.

Me:"I'm sorry nyhani"

Him:"stop apologizing Luthando,you're a mother your reaction yesterday is expected nakomphi
umzali"
Me:"I was scared yho"
Him:"I know,and I'm sorry for putting you through that"

I just kissed him.

He responded...

Uba:"haaayi tata mani"

We abruptly stopped and looked at him,then back to each other yho ndahleka.

Him:"uthin' boy"
Uba:"umamam lo"
Me:"ooh sthandwa samama"

I picked him up and kissed his chubby cheeks wahleka,his dad kissed the other side then I put him on
the bed along with his twin,ndaphakama.

Him:"uyahamba kengoku"?
Me:"endawen'ba ngend'senza njani"?
Him:"we were busy nje apha,and we're not done"
Me:"who said we're not done? Coz ndigqibile mna"
Him:"hau baby"
Me:"hay sunditefela tatakhe,pls"

He stood up with me and held my waist,yaz umntu athi ekucaphukisa ube umthanda even more than
you should.

Him:"I love you,and I know even if you get livid at me that we're meant to be so you can't be mad at
me forever"
Me:"you're full of yourself you know that"
Him:"wouldn't you be"

Then he kissed me,I melted immediately. :'( I hate how he does that,whatever that is. He pushed
me to the door and pinned me on it still kissing me tenderly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and
pulled him even tighter towards me keeping his wound in mind.
Then I stopped and looked at him

Him:"what"?
Me:"mas'godukeni"
Him:"now? Asizolinda umakhulu abuye"?
Me:"I told her uzaw'buya singekho"
Him:"ooh u-"

He was disturbed by my phone...

Me:"private hello"?
Him:"tell your man to watch his back,he might not be as lucky next time"
Me:"and who are you"?
Him:"your worst nightmare"

Then he hung up... I looked at Ntando and then at my kids. Really now?

#369
Him:"what now"?
Me:"chom zakho"
Him:"ngobani ii chom' zam kengok"?
Me:"the people who were shooting you kaloku... Khasuke"
Him:"oh,khand'phe iphone yakho"
Me:"you can do that naseBhayi baby,pakisha"
Him:"how are we supposed to even go to the airport knowing asikho safe kengoku? Sapha iphone
yakho I need to trace that call"
Me:"once I give le phone kuzojika ilanga sihleli kweli monti and I wanna go home,okay"
Him:"so h-aaah! Shit"!
Me:"uzaw'thini ungathunakali ulibele kuphikisana nam ngew'gqibile nopakisha"

I left him and went downstairs,ndaqoqosha and went to Fatima

Me:"sisi pls pack,we have to get going"

Her:"okay sisi"

I returned back to the room Ntando was talking on the phone,haven't packed yet. I went to O Sino
ndafika bedlala

Me:"guys pls pack your bags sizohamba"

Owe:"our bags are already packed sisi sizovasa qha"
Me:"okay ke vasani,and be quick tu"
Owe:"okay"

I left them ndangena xa esithi u Ntando "niqqa how the fuck am I supposed to trace that shit when
she doesn't wanna give me her flippen phone"

Ndangena mna ndapakisha iimpahla zabantwana bam,ezam nezakhe uNtando. Xand'gqiba he hung
up wand'jonga with one hand touching his stomach,kalok iipains soze zingadlali ngaye mntanomntu
uzenza isgora ucing'ba u unvinceable.

Him:"Luthando"?
Me:"Have you called Mo"?
Him:"Luthando ndiyathetha"
Me:"I guess naye k'zofuneka afounelwe ndim"
Him:"LUTHANDO FUCK MANI"
Me:"hay don't fucken shout at me. Tshi"
Him:"can you just listen to me for a sec? Just a second ume,uthule und'mamele ndithethe"

I stopped ndamjonga...

Me:"okay fine,talk"
Him:"I need you to give me your phone so that I can trace le call ndizoyazi who or what exactly I'm
dealing with"
Me:"like I said before,you can do that eBhayi"
Him:"now how the fuck are we supposed to even go to the airport"?
Me:"how am I supposed to know? I don't go around making enemies"
Him:"and how's that gonna help us right now"?
Me:"I do not know,uyi Beast you'll find a way even if it means hiring a chopper izos'thatha iphinde
isise e airport. Into end'yaziyo is that siyagoduka right now,ba kanjani that is up to you"
I took my phone and dialed Mo as I went to pack our bags in the car

Him:"First Lady"
Me:"hi Mo unjani"?
Him:"ndiright Mrs unjani wena"?
Me:"ndi right,kungenzeka uba ubese East London as in right now"?
Him:"in fifteen minutes yes"
Me:"oh thank you,pls call me xa ufikile"
Him:"okay Mrs"

I hung up ndaxelela o Sino bafake ii bags zabo in the car,then ndabuyela ku Ntando.

Me:"can we go"?
Him:"just give me a few minutes"
Me:"mmkay"

I sat down ndanxibisa abantwana bam izihlangu

Uve:"mama itheni i Uba yam"?

Uba:"wile ye moto ya tatam"
Uve:"isungu le yakho Uba"?
Uba:"ha.a eka tata isungu yona"
Uve:"tata"
Cwaka u Ntando
I dressed them neminqwazi basithe andina medical aid mna mntaka dabawo.
Uve:"tatamm"
Me:"tatakhe kaloku"
Him:"mh"?
Me:"your son is talking to you"
Him:"uthini ndoda"?
Uve:"isungu lena yakho tata"?
Him:"une worry ka tata wena ndoda"
Uve:"e.e eya Uba isungu yona"
Him:"sizoba right ndoda evha"
Uba:"sambe mama"
Me:"itsho ku daddy my love"

Just then we heard a helicopter sound hovering very close

Him:"that's our hike"

Me:"that? That's a chopper,right"?
Him:"and then why do you look surprised"?
Me:"heeee hayini"
Him:"you suggested a chopper nje Luthando,now ndize nayo yinton' ngxaki"?
Me:"I didn't mean it kaloku,I didn't even know unayo i access to any chopper"
Him:"hay uyandixaka shame,kengoku ke what do you suggest we do? Seeing sey'khona ke ilinde
thina"
Me:"sizohamba ngayo kaloku... Yho heee"

His phone rang he took Uve and his case as he answered it,I took Uba then I went to Sino and her
brother baphuma no Sis Fats we locked the house and headed to the two choppers waiting across
the house. There was one more,the one that was hovering above the house. All of us got in the two
that were waiting,with our luggages then we went to the airport. Mongezi was already waiting
patiently for us so we boarded the jet yasukuma yandiza. Ntando ebezihlelele in his own corner
buried in his laptop I didn't bother him nam ke,I just bonded with my children. All four of them. We
played board games and hide and seek until we landed
He probably didn't notice,I guess he was deeply thinking ngalento yenzekileyo.
There were four cars already waiting for us,we got in sagoduswa oko u Ntando ejongene nale tablet.
When we got home ndenzela abantwana bonke ukutya then ndayobalalisa just a nap bavuke be
fresh,after ndibashiye belele I went to sis Fats cottage at the back ndafika naye engqengqile.

Me:"sisi ulele"?
Her:"hay bend'saphumza nje umzimba sisi"
Me:"oh okay no akho problem,ovuka kwakho pls come and prepare dinner for us"
Her:"alright sisi"
Me:"thank you"

I left her to rest ndabuyela endlini,went upstairs... Ntando was still glued to the laptop.

Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"nd'se busy mamakhe"
Me:"I know,this won't take long"
Him:"hm"

I just went to him and took it away wand'jamela

Him:"Luthando I said I'm still busy with that"

Me:"I know,but you've been at it oko I also want to spend time with you"
Him:"I've been at it oko because i safety yenu comes first,I can't rest not knowing what the next
move is"
Me:"baby..."
Him:"Luthando,I need to get that finished. Now"!
Me:"kay"

I sulked ndamnika back his laptop

Him:"and your phone".

I gave it to him then I took my tablet ndahamba ndayongqengqa. I wanted to spend time with my
husband,we went to East London but we didn't even get a moment to cuddle khendimve,ndimtefele
ndanele. Mxm.
After an hour or two I got up and took the icecream tub and poured a corner with Ultramel custard
ndayohlala phantsi,he finally came down but he was carrying a sports bag yhu ndabila
ngaphakathi,umqombothi womcimbi had nothing on me,I even wanted to cry. U Ntando angayenza
njani into yokuya eKapa esandofika? Ndibanda lomhlobo na?
He came to sit next to me

Him:"I have to go to CT right away"

I ignored him ndatya i icecream le iphamb'kwam,yho hay he better come with a better strategy to
tell me whatever it is he was saying in order to get my attention.

Him:"Luu,I'm going to Cape Town"

I ignored him still,he put the bag down,took the tub and looked me in the eye
Him:"I know you don't want me to,but its for our own good. Andizohlala I just need to sort this out"
Me:"khaw'sapha la icecream Ntando"
Him:"nd'sathetha nawe ngoku,khaw'me nge icecream"
Me:"uthetha nam uthini"?
Him:"I said I'm going to Cape Town"
Me:"and"?
Him:"aaand what"?
Me:"exactly,ufuna ndithini? Hamba 'fondini if ufuna uhamba akhonto ikubambileyo"
Him:"imuncu kelento uy'thethayo"
Me:"inoba ndimuncu nam ungatsho nje"
Him:"I don't want us to fight Luu pls,don't make this harder than it already is"
Me:"I'm making this hard for who? How? By telling you to go? Kanti ufunani kum"?
Him:"uyand'khalala kaloku ngoku mamakhe"
Me:"aw'yazi ke into oyifuna kum,nd'cela i icecream yam"

He took a deep breath then gave me the tub,I took a mouthful trying to melt the lump I had in my
throat and what was most painful is that he didn't understand what I was feeling.

Him:"I think you're being unfair kodwa Luthando especially knowing that I'm only going there so that
sibe safe"
Me:"I'm being unfair"?
Him:"ewe you're irrationaly unfair right now"
Me:"I am being unfair? Really"?
Him:"ewe Luu,you're being unfair coz uyayazi andiyokonwaba e Kapa"
Me:"you wanna know whats unfair? You being away for a very long time as if you don't have a
wife,uhlale three to four months ngaphandle komkakho now thats unfair. Yaz even when you're
back you don't make time for your wife caba yena akanazo ii feelings funeka akukhumbule futhi
akuthande xa wena ukwi mood yakhe,now that's unfair. But you know what,go. Hamba iya e
Kapa,make sure we're safe ngoku usishiya apha eBhayi wena upha eKapa akhonto"

I took another mouthful and wiped a tear,then ndavela ndatya i icecream yam ndathula. I said what I
wanted to say,he kept quiet.

Him:"baby"
Me:"I said go,okay. Go ke"
Him:"baby sundigxotha"
Me:"haibo Ntando hlala ke. Tyhini"!
Him:"sundishout'a kalok"
Me:"ufuna ntoni kum Ntando? Ndithini? Ufuna uhamba ndiyak'khulula,uyaphinda uyajika aw'funi
ndithi hlala. Still that's not enough,what exactly am I supposed to say ke? You tell me"

I ate half the tub ndaziva nje ba ndihluthi kamnandi,I got up and went to refridgerate the icecream
ndabuya esahleli pha deep in thought I just left him kanye xakungena usis Fats I went to my room. I
undressed and went to stand under a cold shower,I cried right there.

Me:"hewethu ukhalelani? Just get a grip suba weak apha"

When self spoke to self ndaphuma nakulo shower and went to my room,he walked in ndithambisa

Him:"Nalique"
Me:"baby its fine I understand,hamba uzobuya silapha waiting for you"
Him:"I think I'll send everything to Ranger and Polo benze ngokwabo"
Me:"if you're sure...but I wouldn't want you to compromise. If you have to go,then go"

He kept quiet.

#370

I could see he's inbetween confused and a little bit understanding.

Me:"baby hamba"
Him:"I can't... Look,I didn't know that you feel neglected and I don't like that. I thought you knowing
my kinda work you would understand better when I can't be around all the time"
Me:"kalok tatakhe I understand,that's why ndisithi hamba"
Him:"just now ubundi shout'a about leaving y'all"
Me:"then I remembered that its your duty to protect us and its my duty to support you"
Him:"Luu uyandi confuser ngoku fondin"

I sat down,its never a good idea to have a conversation with my husband ndinganxibanga coz
akanoyibala le towel he sees right through it.

Me:"okay listen,uyayaz truly that I love you but with that being said, I also want to feel loved by
you,needed even. You are my husband for goodness sake so I shouldn't have to beg for your
attention you should know when I need you even if its an hour baby it counts so much you have no
idea. And then on top of that you have a bad wound that needs to be taken care of,nursed and as
your wife your wellbeing is part of my duties especially when you're risking like this. We both know
you should be taking it slowly until you heal properly,I should be taking care of you until I'm sure u
right. But, I know you have good intentions and we're your number one priority,so is our safety"
Him:"but you said other stuff Luu..."
Me:"I know,I guess I felt hurt that wena usandofika apha and uphinda uhambe so soon yet we
haven't spent much time together. You can't blame me for that"
Him:"okay"
Me:"but kengok we have four children that need to be safe and protected by us,I guess me waiting a
little longer won't hurt that much. Under the circumstances"
Him:"so you're saying I should go,like nyhani now aw'khalali"?
Me:"ha.a baby and'khalali,if you have to go then go"
Him:"okay"

Ndaphakama ndanxiba ii PJ's ngoku asahleliyo,I opened the door and saw Sino downstairs helping Sis
Fats with the cooking. Ndaqond'ba mand'bayeke baphekisane I soma closed the windows and
curtains,my husband was on the phone so I sat down next to him ndamlinda athethe agqibe.

When he was done he looked at me for a looong minute

Him:"u sure ba ugrand ngoku hamba kwam"?

Me:"ewe"
Him:"then drive me to the airport"
Me:"you have drivers,let them drive you to the airport"
Him:"I want you to drive me"
Me:"I am tired tatakhe,I have to be at work k'sasa. Pls ask your drivers to drive you"
Him:"u sure aw'khalali nyhani"?
Me:"hehake Ntando"
Him:"kalok I don't want to go ungafuni ndihambe"
Me:"I just told you I don't want you to go,but I have to understand why you're going thats why I'm
letting you go"
Him:"okay...I'll be back immediately sigqiba ngaleway and spend as much time with you"
Me:"cool"

He got up,took his bag and pulled me up by the arm ndamhleka.

Me:"und'saphi Ntando"?
Him:"aw'zondikhupha ke atleast"
Me:"ha.a mfondini khaw'hambe"
Him:"nd'khuphe kalok sthandwa sam"

I let go of him,opened my blankets ndangena ndamjonga,he just smiled and came to kiss me then
wahamba. I felt my heart ripping ndanes'gqukru,I guess this is what they meant when they told me
as a wife and a mother I must be able to sacrifise and I should get used to or rather accept that I
won't always be priority,my family comes first no matter what. I shut my eyes as I felt the sting of
tears peeping at the corners ndaz'yeka zehla. It's actually painful,it really hurts having to spend
months and months away from your husband because of "work" and be expected to understand oko
because you knew what you were getting yourself into when you said 'I do'. Umntu alibale that
before he used to make time for you out of his busy schedule,he used to fly in ekseni ahambe
midnight,or fetch me siyohlala sobabini eKapa a week or two but that had slowly vanished. The
spontaneity stopped nje,I heard the kids coming towards my room so I cleaned myself up and waited
for them to come in.

Sino:"mama uzobuya nini utata"?

Me:"and'mazi baby"
Owe:"is it okay if we sleep with you tonight,since dad left"?
Me:"oh-kay,but sis Fats is still making dinner."
Owe:"ewe after we've eaten kalok sisi"
Me:"akho problem"

We just chilled there until dinner time,then we went to eat downstairs,they bullied me into watching
a movie balala isadlala so now I had to take them one by one up the stairs to my room. Once they
were all in bed I took out clothes for tomorrow just matching denims,white vest and Allstars then I
got in bed... Eve called:

Me:"Evelyn Smith"
Her:"little one,hoe gaan dit?
Me:"lekker en jy"?
Her:"baie lekker,hoe besig is jy this week"
Me:"ek is altyd besig,hoekom vra jy"?
Her:"I was thinking of coming to you vir die wedding preparations"
Me:"okay tis cool,you can come whenever you feel like"
Her:"I'll be there lunchtime tomorrow"
Me:"ayt then,see you"
Her:"sharp"

After that I told myself I shouldn't bother Ntando,let me just get some rest and be fresh for
tomorrow. Just as I was slowly dozing off,he called
Me:"mh"?
Him:"I arrived safely"
Me:"sho"
Him:"are the kids asleep already"?
Me:"yeah"

Wakhe wathula...
I waited,almost sleeping while on the phone

Him:"Nalique"
Me:"hm"
Him:"kuyo yonke lento just know that ndiyak'thanda"
Me:"I know"
Him:"nilale grand ke"
Me:"nawe"

We hung up.
...

Following day I woke up and went to work,Libhongo proved that she deserves my trust. Even the
rest of the team,my target this week was to make sure that all four businesses are up and running
including the beauty parlour so I really didn't have time waste moping around I had a tight schedule
especially with Eve and her wedding coming up. Past ten I got a call from Sive (Luke's wife)

Me:"makoti"
Her:"eyonanto ke nguwe umakoti"
Me:"hewethu uphikisana nendodakazi yakho"?
She laughed

Her:"unjani"?
Me:"I'm cool unjan' wena mama ka baba"?
Her:"I'm great,I hear you have a boutique kwelocala"
Me:"oh u Lulu kanene"
Her:"ukuncedile ke yaz coz nd'funa uk'nika leyam along with my clients"
Me:"whaoh wait,uthini Sive"?
Her:"kalok I also have a boutique aph'e Jo'burg,but now that we're relocating I don't need it so
ndifuna uk'nika yona"
Me:"yho bra I'm still building up four business at once,where will I get money to buy you out"?
Her:"I don't remember myself mentioning selling though"
Me:"uthini kanti"?
Her:"ndiyakupha S'bongile"
Me:"what"?
Her:"heee why are so slow today? Anyway when can you be in Joburg so that we can do the
paperwork"
Me:"heee u Sive bawo! Okay,okay are you in Jo'burg right now"?
Her:"yes I came to tie some loose ends but I'm leaving tomorrow morning"
Me:"okay...lemme try my luck then I'll get back to you"
Her:"okay love"

I still couldn't believe my ears :D Nalique's boutique was about to have a branch in one of the
country's capital cities? Johannesburg? Yhu kanti uThixo unjani na?
I hung up and dialed Mo,asoze nd'khuphe mali ekhona makabuye nakwelo Kapa mntaka dabawo.

Him:"Mrs"
Me:"I need you to be in PE right away"
Him:"Ndizoya e Jo'burg after lunchtime Mrs"
Me:"make it before lunch pls Mo,I have an urgent meeting to attend"
Him:"Okay I'll talk to the big guy"
Me:"okay,before 12 ke Mo"
Him:"sure madam"

I hung up and called Eve...

Her:"Nalique ya Beast"
Me:"ndikuphoxe kemna, where are you"?
Her:"I'm in Sandton,why"?
Me:"I'll be in Joburg by lunchtime so undilinde sizobuya together"
Her:"a free flight for me,thank God I hadn't booked the ticket"
Me:"yeah whatever,bye bye"
Her:"I love you too baby"

I hung up,packed my bag and drove home. Mna xand'siya e Goli I have to be on standard look unless
I'm going with my husband then I don't really care,but there are so many enemies that I've managed
to make for myself kwela cala so I have to slay.
I freshened up,took out a white Versace sweetheart neckline pencil dress that was calf-length and
had a front-slit reaching up a lil above the knee. Matched that up with peach stils and a peach and
white maxi clutch bag. I side-brushed my weave and let it bounce below my shoulders... Xand'phuma
ndidibana no Sino

Sino:"yhu mama awumhle"

Me:"thank you baby"
Sino:"uyaphinda uyaphangela mama"?
Me:"ndiya e Joburg baby,I'll be back with aunt Evelyn late"
Sino:"oh okay,you really look beautiful mama"
Me:"thank you sweety,bye bye"

I kissed her cheek,drove my car to the airport and went to grab a bite as I waited for Mo to call me.
After a couple of minutes I saw the jet landing ndaphakama and walked to it texting Sive to text me
back where'll meet when I've landed. When I got to the jet Mo just smiled at me,Ntando was there
with his entire entourage

Me:"gentlemen"
Them:"boss lady"

Ranger who was sitting next to Ntando got up so I could sit down,I kissed him (hubby) on the lips
some of the gents coughed

Him:"hay cimelani makwedini"

They mumbled while the others laughed then they continued with their discussions,while we
conversed in soft whispers like love sticken teens

Him:"you look beautiful"

I crossed my legs sitting as a lady should,his hand landed on my thigh
Me:"thank you"
Him:"Mo says you're attending an urgent meeting in Jo'burg"
Me:"yeah,and ndizobuya no Eve"
Him:"uya kuye"?
Me:"ha.a"
Him:"uyakubani ke babe"?
Me:"hay babe mna akhange nd'fike ndinibuze ba niyaphi"
Him:"baby you can't look this hot,go to Jo'burg midday to some urgent meeting and then expect me
not to ask questions"
Me:"Did you say I look hot"?
Him:"heee,Luu you look peri-peri hot. Ingath' aw'nabantwana"
Me:"ikhona into engathi ndino myeni babe"?

His hand moved from my thigh to my left hand in a flash,I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

Me:"why do I sense some jelly here"?

He mumbled something,ndavela ndamhleka nje. I knew what was really frustrating him was not
knowing with whom am I having this meeting in Jo'burg ogqiba ndingamxeleli azova ngo
Mo,ndiphinde ndibemhle kangaka. This jealous version of him entertained me,he knows jealousy
doesn't suit him. It never has,and prolly never will.

#371

Sancokola no Ntando nje endipheka endophula ngale meeting and I wasn't giving away tu. Ubuzwa
ng'bani yena?

Him:"but baby,khaw'de uthethe kalok"

Me:"I'm thirsty...nisela ntoni apha"?
Him:"Ranger"?

Ranger came as quick as his boss said the 'er' at the end of his name

Him:"sho grootman"
Bae:"umfaz'wam ucela i drink"
Him:"sure ta,which drink do you want Mrs"?
Me:"Red wine pls"
Bae:"isekhona mos i juice Ranger"?
Him:"ewe grootman"
Bae:"mnike ebandayo"

Hehehe!
Ranger went to fetch my 'drink',returned with this fruit juice ndamjonga nje mna

Him:"nantsi le way Mrs"

Me:"I think ibifunwe ngu boss wakho"
Bae:"ndim? But you're the thirsty one here"
Me:"true,and I requested red wine not i juice"
Bae:"red wine babe? kodwa you're saying you're attending a meeting"
Me:"red wine Ranger"

Ranger looked at me then back at Ntando who just shrugged sending Ranger back to the bar fridge.
Him:"wenzani"?
Me:"baby pls,not now and most certainly not here"
Him:"o-kay"
Me:"thank you"

An unopened bottle of red wine and two glasses emerged,I opened it myself and poured my own
glass then I turned to look at Ntando

Me:"uyafuna babe"?
He showed me his glass of whiskey,I nod and closed the bottle then I chilled with my glass. I smelt
the wine,it sent tingles down my spine, all over my body and then I took a sip,closed my eyes as I
threw the wine all round my gums enjoying and savouring the woody yet sweet taste

Him:"I didn't know you actually enjoyed that"

Me:"I'm sure aw'yazi noba ihlala ikhona endlini"
Him:"you actually buy wine? Wena"?

Mh... I wanted to throw a low blow at him ndimxelele that if he spent atleast an hour endlini
engaphazanyiswa nto he wouldn't be this surprised but I decided not to coz and'zelanga lonto apha I
just hike i jet eya e Goli so lemme behave. I enjoyed my wine in silence,I could feel he was looking at
me behind his glass as he sipped. I felt his eyes boring into my soul,he was giving me that creepy
stare and this time we weren't even facing each other but I felt it intensely.

Me:"say it"
Him:"say what"?
Me:"what's on your mind,you're starring at me"
Him:"I'm not starring,I'm admiring"
Me:"mmh"

As I took another sip,he came closer to my ear,his hand that was on my thigh moving up close to my
waist and whispered:
"you have no idea how I'm refraining myself from just ripping this dress apart and pinning you to this
couch"

I giggled almost choking on my wine,I put the glass down before I spill it on my dress,sat sideways
and crossed one of my legs over his lap so as our bodies touched,our eyes met

Me:"pity...you only get to look and there's nothing you can do about it"
Him:"why are you driving me crazy today"?
Me:"why are you driving yourself crazy"?
He kissed,I smiled at the frustration before I kissed him back the abruptly stopped when I felt the jet
landing. I fixed myself,downed the rest of my wine and when the exit opened I kissed my hubby's
cheek ndaphuma

Him:"us'shiyelani"?
Me:"because we're not here on the same mission... Thank you Mo"
Mo:"sharp madam"

I left them pha,entered a cab and went to Sive's boutique where she said we should meet.
...
When I reached that place I saw that the door was half opened so I knocked and walked in
Her:"heey you,damn you look so damn sexy"
Me:"thank you,thank you"
Her:"how did your husband let you come here alone kwezi wolves zingaka"?
Me:"haha pls don't go there,he's probably blowing a gasket trying to track me right now"
Her:"wenza i yeses man yhu"
Me:"hah,stop it pls. This is a nice place"
Her:"you like it"?
Me:"I love it,worse ikwindawo eright for business"
Her:"so,shall we get down to business"?
Me:"yes ma'am"

We sat down and got into the business,she actually gave me her business with no strings attached
whatsoever. Tjo I felt like jumping up and down yi excitement,especially when she mailed the
documents to me to read through when I have time. Kaloku I am my own lawyer izinto zam
ndiyazenzela unless ke andyaz' kubethwa abaphi or I don't have time I use my husband's lawyer

Me:"this is hard to believe bro,thank you so much"

Her:"congratulations sister,but I sooo don't wanna be in your shoes"
Me:"more responsibities,aha I know"
Her:"so now that we're through with the formalities,can we go out for a drink or two"
Me:"please"

We locked the property and went to her car,got in and drove out.
Her:"ndibawela nenyama mna,do you know of a good place"

I gave her directions to the only place I know,just as we were parking I got a call from the big guy

Me:"nanko ke Sive"
Her:"your husband"?
Me:"yeah..."
Her:"khamfake ku loud"

I put the phone on loud speaker

Me:"Excuse me... Baby"?
Him:"baby,ugoduka nini kanene"?
Me:"hay uzandenzani"?
Him:"nd'cinga ukuba ndikulinde kalok"
Me:"ndishiye s'thandwa sam,I'll call Mo to come fetch me xandi ready to go"
Him:"ndishiye umkam e Jo'burg baby?"
Me:"ewe love,shiya u Mfazi wakho e Jo'burg"

Sive was silently in stitches as we sat down and motioned for a waitor to come to our table

Him:"aw'kazo gqiba wena"?

Me:"baby baph' o Ranger"?
Him:"we went to drop them in Swaziland,why do you ask"?
Me:"kanti ubungahambi nabo wena"?
Him:"ha.a bend'bakhapha,and I thought you might need umntu woncokola on your way back home"
Me:"oh but I told you ndizobuya no Eve nje"

Wathula,I could see Sive and the waitor were waiting for me to make my order
Me:"baby pls hold kancinci vha,I need to attend to someone"
Him:"okay"

I browsed the menu andabonanto i interesting besides the special

Me:"hi bhut' nd'cela today's special ne creme soda pls"

Waitor:"okay sis"

He left ndabuyela ku hubby

Me:"baby,usekhona"?
Him:"ewe,can I call you back"?
Me:"shap"

He hung up tjo asamhleka no Sive

Her:"yhu umyeni wakho"!

Me:"uzaw'thi gqi apha you'll see"
Her:"judging by that phone call,I wouldn't be surprised"

Our food came through,we dug in. Halfway,Ntando came out of the ShisaNyama office ehamba no
Mo and one other guy. Sive saw them first wand'krweca ehleka,Mo looked at our side I pretended to
not see him waving just as Evelyn called

Me:"mama Booboo"
Her:"hey,where are we meeting"?
Me:"at the airport in an hour"
Her:"alright"

By the time I hung up from the phone call Ntando and his people joined us,I don't know what they
had been talking about but everyone else was laughing except for him. Sive was even crying kuhleka

Me:"nimenzeni u Sive babe"?

Him:"and'bazi babe ngu Mongezi"
Phaphinda baqala apho bebeyeke khona ndaxakane nento,just then a guy I once met in compass eyi
friend ka Eve but ended up being one of my law tutors,uKabelo saw me and came to our table

Kabs:"Trina,hey"
With excitement I got up and we actually hugged

Kabs:"you look good,how are you? Infact where are you? I never got to see you after the
graduation"

Kwathi cwaka etafileni,Sive cleared her throat

Me:"where are my manners? Lemme introduce you: this is my husband,that's his pilot,his colleague
and that lady is my brother's wife. Guys this is Kabelo,my ex partime tutor"
Kabs:"nice to meet all of you "
Sive:"we're glad to have met you too"
Kabs:"can I steal her for a minute or two"?
Me:"ofcourse... Ndiyabuya ne "

We walked out heading to the exit

Him:"so where do you live now"?
Me:"tjo Kabs I moved to PE for the internship and soma settled there"
Kabs:"oh that Legal Wise internship? Wow,you should give me your number,I have come up with
sermons for first year law students"
Me:"wait,are you still lecturing"?
Kabs:"full time now"
Me:"congrats man"

We spoke for about fifteen minutes,hugged and departed after I gave him my number then I
returned to the fam. Ntando was eating my food

Me:"baby you're finishing my food"

Him:"cela uKabelo akuthengele okunye"
Me:"huh"?
Sive:"ignore him ikhona inyama ezayo"

I looked at him,he kept a still face..

Me:"unyanzelwa yintoni"?
Him:"kukuthanda"
Me:"mnk"

The meat came satya,after that I hugged Sive and left with Ntando. We still had some couple of
minutes before Eve arrive...

Me:"khand'thengele i McFlurry babe"

Him:"aw'hluthanga"?
Me:"itsho ba aw'funi babe"
Him:"I'm just asking,and'thanga and'funi"

I left him and went to buy lento for myself,I made an order,xand'khupha i card he was right behind
me

Him:"hi,whatever she ordered make it two"

Drama!
He gave the teller R50 sathatha into zethu and went to wait at the jet,sahlala on one couch

Him:"ngowaph' u Kabelo"?
Me:"ngowalaph' e Jo'burg"
Him:"how long have you known him"?
Me:"since my first year,why all these questions na baby"?
Him:"I'm just wondering why this is my first time hearing of him"
Me:"uyakhweleta baby"?
Cwaka
Hay I looked at him,he aint seriously jealous of Kabs now is he?

Me:"haibona baby,ukhweletela u Kabelo of all people"?

Him:"you just seemed too bubbly when you saw him"
Me:"and that's a problem"?
Him:"it made me feel uncomfortable,okay"
Me:"but you know I love you njena,you alone s'thandwa sam"
Him:"I know that"
Me:"then why uz'ngcungcuthekisa kanje when we both know you never share?"
He didn't answer me,I put my flurry down,took his and put it next to mine then I pulled my dress up
a bit and squatted on him pulling his face up to face me then I kissed him...
Just as I felt him melting I stopped ndamjonga

Me:"you know I know you right? Like I know you like the back of my hand"
Him:"oh-kay"
Me:"tell me the truth now,why didn't you go to Swaziland"?
Him:"bendingahambi mna anyway"
Me:"try again nana"
Him:"I don't know what you want me to say"

I kissed him again,a wet sloppy kiss I knew will awaken u Jojo even the Beast itself...

Me:"you do know that you're usually this paranoid and insecure when you have a nyatsi,right"?
Him:"baby uyand' accuser"?
Me:"no,I'm just asking. But since you don't plan on answering that let me show you something"

[I kissed his neck down,up back to the lips and yes I was aroused,his hands and deep moans were a
confirmation that we're in the same boat]
.

#372

Then I stopped and looked at him with a smile on my face

Me:"you need to learn to trust me"

Him:"I trust you"

I kissed him again,I could feel that he was close to loosing control and I didn't want him to...just yet.

Me:"then why ungayanga e Swazini"?

Him:"I didn't want to... I couldn't leave you for another three months again, especially after our last
conversation"
Me:"so this is just a husband cancelling his business plans for his wife"?
Him:"this is Ntando taking responsibility,just for once making an effort to see his Luthando happy"
Me:"mmh,I guess this is my lucky week"
Him:"and that's the mentality I want to erase,you can't consider spending time with me as luck"
Me:"is it a blessing?"
Him:"I don't know,but it aint luck"

I kissed him again,his right hand went up my leg right under my dress

"eew get a room will ya"?!

I literally jumped off Ntando at Eve's voice,he just chuckled and poured himself whiskey

Me:"why didn't you call"?

Her:"I just happen to know this jet...make way,this bag is heavy"
Him:"why am I not surprised"?
Her:"ta Beast,pls. We have a very looong week ahead"

He laughed at her as I fixed myself,Mo took off as soon as we were all comfortable. I sat with my
husband,Eve on her own probably chatting with LD coz she was all smiles and giggly focused on her
phone.
Ntando on the other hand was all touchy and whispery mntaka God...

Him:"remember we aint done here"

Me:"we aint"?
Him:"ha.a baby don't gimme that look"
Me:"and what look izat"?
Him:"Luu suba naughty,why do I sense you wanna punish me nje"?
I kissed his neck up
Bit his earlobe
And whispered back..so softly and seductively

Me:"I'm gonna make you beg for it"

He looked at me deep in the eyes,I smiled at his serious face. His one hand had the whiskey,the
other slowly slid down my body and grabbed my behind I almost screemed yi shock,he almost
laughed.

Me:"so you have a naughty side too,bhut' Ntando"

Him:"if your sister wasn't here I'd show you more"
Me:"we'll have plenty of time endlini honey,relax"

With that I lay on my back,my head on lap until we landed. He carried Eve's bag as we entered my
awaiting car and drove home. Upon arrival,the kids were playing outside so as the car drove in they
stopped and watched. I parked,kwaphuma u baby k'qala,they dropped everything and ran to him. I
came out with Eve,they left their dad and split to me and their aunt,I picked Uba up and kissed him.
Uve was in Eve's arms,Sino carried my bag and Owe was with his dad as we went inside. I took Eve to
her room to freshen up before we hit the road once again. We had a lot to do in a week

Me:"so what exactly are we looking for this week"?

Her:"everything,I haven't started on anything"
Me:"that means we're starting now,freshen up honey. We gat work to do"
Her:"and your husband"?
Me:"he'll be fine"
Her:"okay then..."

I left her and went to my room,my husband was with his kids on my bed. I took out and changed into
denim cut out high waist skinny jeans, white highneck cropped tee with white Jordans. I saw my
husband gawking at me

Him:"going out"?
Me:"yeah,I'm planning Eve's wedding so we have to get started right away"
Him:"but we just got home"
Me:"I know"

When I wast done I took a slingbag,packed two of my phones and my wallet then I kissed all my kids
stopping halfway ku Ntando

Me:"I love you,kay"?

Him:"kodwa und'shiya ndedwa kwakho nd'fika"
Me:"ufike at my busiest week,but as I promised,we'll find our own time"
Him:"hm"
I kissed him,left him with an "I love you" as I bumped onto Eve on our way down.
We left in my car and went to a cake factory first,the same that made my very own.

Me:"so what flavours are we taking Eve"?

Her:"well I want an all chocolate three tier cake,but Lwando wants three different flavours"
Me:"oh-kay"
Her:"so I think we should do the top tier as chocolate with choc-strawberry filling,second one as
vannilla with lemon filling then the last will have to be red velvet"
Me:"seems like you know exactly what you want"
Her:"with the cake yes...with everything else,no"

We placed the cake order,Eve had set a wedding date to two months from the day we began
shopping. After placing the cake order we left,I drove to Wimpy just for their milkshake and open
space coz I needed to sit down with my sister and find out what exactly are we doing,I wanted to
know the budget infact.
We parked and got inside,made our shake order then got down to business

Me:"mntasekhaya I need to know your budget,okay? We have to hire out a venue,are we buying or
hiring your dress? How many dresses do you want? What kinda venue are you looking for? Do you
have a bridal party? Entourage? Enlighten me pls"

She took a deep breath in...

Her:"I just want a simple wedding Tee,I don't know all these things you're talking about"
Me:"gimme a budget to work with then"
Her:"hundred thousand"
Me:"what? A 100k just on a wedding nje? Who's paying"?
Her:"the wedding, honeymoon flights and accomodation"
Me:"who's paying kalok"?
Her:"we both are"
Me:"wow okay... I need a theme,menu,exact number of guests. That kinda thing"

She gave me a guest list,one look at it ndavela ndamhleka.

Me:"what were you saying about a simple wedding"?

Her:"I just want something nice and cozy man,nothing extravagant"
Me:"with 79 people from your royal inlaws? We haven't counted your own
family,friends,colleagues... I just wonder How simple am I supposed to make this wedding"
Her:"but I know you can make it simple"
Me:"how Evelyn? Tell me how? Okay,lets break it down my dear. What kinda venue do you want"?
Her:"Something elegant,beautiful and a lil closer to looking like your house"
Me:"my house? Are you sure you know what you want,like really"?
Her:"yes,exactly what I just said. Theme, peach and white"
Me:"oh-kay,menu"?
Her:"I still have to confirm with my bae regarding his family,we can put that on hold for now"
Me:"entourage"?
Her:"his sisters and cousins kinda want to be part of that,I'm not sure I want it though"
Me:"so you won't compromise"?
Her:"I don't know...can't we just do the first most important things today? Then we'll see the rest as
the week procedes"
Me:"that means we're going for the dress"?
Her:"I don't know,whichever you see as important"

I grabbed my milkshake,wallet and car keys ndajongisa umbombo emotweni yam. She followed. I
drove to that same bridal shop endand'fumene kuyo my own wedding dress ndambukela getting lost
and confuse as we browsed. I chose three dresses for her to try on then I browsed for dresses for her
possible bridal entourage.

Her:"erh..."
I turned and looked at her
Me:"wow...you look... Beautiful"
Her:"but I wanna feel beautiful too,maybe I should try the others"
Me:"mmkay"

She went to change...three times then finally made a choice so we paid half the hiring price and left
for another boutique to find the maids dresses. It was late already but I pushed so that atleast we
have three items down the to-do list... Sisabuka ezolokhwe my husband called :/

Me:"lovie"
Him:"nibuya nini na"?
Me:"but why uzosabela olohlobo i phone"?
Him:"Luthando nibuya nini kuhlwile ngoku"
Me:"in an hour or two"
Him:"so that means you won't be back in time to cook dinner"
Me:"sis Fats will prepare dinner nje baby"
Him:"kay"

He hung up
I was left starring at the phone I just knew ndizofika equmbile utata wabantu,when Eve couldn't see
anything she liked I told her we should go
As we drove out,Eve apparently had other expectations sana akaboni noba my mood had changed

Her:"there's a venue I saw at the beachfront,can we go check it out"?

Me:"we'll go tomorrow,its late and my husband is panicking right now"
Her:"he's panicking? But you just went out not so long ago"
Me:"you mean five hours ago? Yeah"
Her:"kay fine,we'll go tomorrow then"

As we were driving,I noticed three cars were following us but I kept driving. Again I noticed that the
cars were still on our trail,I decided to focus on one person maybe I'll recognise a face then as we
neared a curve ndabona one of the guys who kept us in that warehouse actually driving one of the
three cars.
Now I panicked. Not wanting to make it obvious to Evelyn, I decided to take a different route to the
one we usually use but still the cars were on our trail.
I knew this was beyond me,it was beyond my power right now I needed ta Beast.

Me:"dial My King"
Her:"huh"?
Me:"not you,the car"

The car dialed Ntando but he didn't pickup until it went to voicemail
Me:"Dial Babe"

With one ring he picked up

Him:"Luu"
Me:"baby usendlini neh"
Him:"ewe,why do you sound anxious"?
Me:"I think we're being followed"
Him:"why do you think that? Niphi nina"?
Me:"we're on our way,we took the Daily Dispatch route"
Him:"okay,keep your pace,I'm coming"
Me:"sho"

He hung up,I stole a look at Eve ndambona ba uyoyika kancinci

Her:"we're being followed"?

Me:"yeah"
Her:"by who? Why"?
Me:"I don't know,just try to relax okay"

The cars were closing in on us... I made a silent urgent prayer for Ntando to be as quick as a wink.

373

My phone rang just when I was begining to panic

Me:"my love,uphi"?
Him:"there's a curve ahead of you,slow down xa ufika kuyo"
Me:"slow down? Hewethu kumnyama apha and you want me to slow down"?
Him:"calm down I can see your car"
Me:"oh,but where exactly are you"?
Him:"baby can you just do lento ndithi yenze okwangoku"?
Me:"kay"
I sulked
Him:"good"

He hung up
Okay I followed the order and slowed down at the curve ahead then the cars caved in on me. One
car went right infront of me I had to break and kinda slightly swerve to my right almost knocking the
other car,my left had no path. No road. One car was left moving slowly behind me

I couldn't see any sign of Ntando or his men. The car infront of me suddenly stopped forcing me to
make an abrupt halt,shocking my sister

Her:"ooouch! What's going on"?

Me:"just...try to relax Eve"
Her:"try to relax? We have three cars following us in this dark road and you're telling me to relax?
And then where's your Beast? Didn't he say he's coming"?
Me:"EVE CAN YOU SHUT UP!!! Pls"
Her:"Trina don't tell me to-"
Me:"PLEEEEAAASE! Just this once Eve,just keep quiet"
Oh she kept quiet
The driver from the car infront of us came out and walked towards my car,I locked the doors and
tried dialing my husband again. I was nervous,my hands were sweaty even on the steering wheel,I
needed the loo :'( I wanted to cry. I suddenly had flashbacks of that warehouse,the escape...
Everything.
Just as he neared my car,suddenly there were about eight pairs of car headlights around us in a
circle. Me and the three cars were in the middle of this circle,the man stopped and looked around
then without notice the cars caved in on us making a smaller circle
I had dialed Ntando neh,but ndalibala when I saw the headlights. I think my attention was shifted
automatically,it became worse when I saw Ntando and about twelve guys emerging from the other
cars. Oko u Eve ekrobo ngapha kwam

Beast:"Razor"
Razor:"Beast"
Beast:"wenzani kwedini"?
Razor:"ndingathi ndingumkhuluwa kuwe uphinde uthi kwedini kum,unayo ingqondo"?
Beast:"uyacaca ba aw'naskolo kanene Mkhuseli,ungumkhuluwa kubani ngoku"?
Razor:"you think you're a man because you're called Beast huh"?
Beast:"you can never mention Beast and man in one sentence,once again,ukhatywa siskolo"
Razor:"undidelele futh' kwedini"
Beast:"I could do this all night but unlike you andisiso isishumane ndingengo bhulu,I have a wife and
a warm bed to go home to"
Razor:"you call that a wife"?
Beast:"careful now Ray-Ray,don't let her hear you say that. She can be quite feisty"

He came to my door and knocked,I lowered my windows

Me:"what's going on"?

Beast:"izan'ngapha babe,I'll take your car"

I looked at Eve saphuma emotweni,I hooked my arm onto his while he held Eve's hand as he led us
to a car driven by both my usual drivers. Eve got in...

Me:"aw'hambi wena"?
Beast:"Razor wants me to take him on a date baby,go home I'll be there within 30 minutes"
Razor:"ukwasiso nes'tabene kanti"
Me:"yi joke kuwe le"?

Razor's men came out of their cars then shots were fired
Beast:"baby...goduka"
Razor:"she wanna protect you,uyay'cinga naye ukuba istabane sakhe sizolwa njani namadoda
okwenyani"

Ntando looked at me with very cold eyes,I looked at his abdomen worried that if they shoot him in
that wound then kuphelile ngaye. He must have read my frustration

Him:"I'm okay,go home... pls"

Me:"kay"

I kissed him before I got in the car baqhumis'uthuli uphephetheka oku aphendleleni aba bafana. We
weren't even far when we heard gunshots I saw the fear in Eve's eyes but ndathula. We got
home,Fats had already began with supper I just went to shower off what just happened.
...
One week later I was halfway done with planning Eve's wedding,she had to return to Joburg coz her
leave was over and now on the other hand I had to rename my new boutique as Nalique's Boutique
and make a few changes seeing that it had to entail my kinda style and environment as well.
My husband was surprisingly still around,but he just didn't understand why I'm never home during
the day :v and when I do return,I'm tired AF! He wanted me to handle my business like him,have
people handling everything and even steal from me right under my nose,well it was still too early for
that... I hadn't made that kinda money as yet.
On Sunday I was home so I wanted to give Fats a break,akhe aye nase caweni umama wabantu. I
woke up early and made breakfast,Fats asked to take all the kids to church so now I had to make
their lunch boxes and their daddy drove them to church wabuya nd'se kitchen clearing up.

Me:"that was quick"

He came to stand behind me,his one hand locating my boob and the other finding a holding spot on
my waist

Him:"now is our time,kunini ndigacile"

Me:"you speak as if we don't sleep on the same bed"
Him:"that doesn't mean anything"

He kissed my neck,turned me around and continued with the kisses. I wrapped my arms around him
and pulled him towards me even more closer than he already was. He picked me up and took me to
the dining room,put me on that long dining table and continued to seduce me with kisses

Him:"uyakwaz' umqhotsa umntu"

Me:"ukhalazela iveki qha"?

We kissed even more,I had absolutely nothing under the gown I had on and he must have seen it coz
his hands were literally ripping it off my body,he stopped and looked at my stalk naked body then
back to my eyes...deep into my soul

Him:"you're so beautiful"
Me:"stop talking"

With that he cupped my face and kissed me so deeply,my legs automatically wrapped around his
waist as I pulled him in. He stopped and looked at me

Him:"can we take this upstairs"?

Me:"you're uncomfortable here"?
Him:"I want to enjoy this [kiss] and take my time"
Me:"as'noqhaw'lisa k'qala babe..."

He didn't need no further motivation,he tightened my legs around him as he bathed me with sweet
watery kisses. His one hand went between my legs and rubbed so sensitively I immediately began
gasping for air
Me:"ba-"

Ay I couldn't say anything,Ntando knew exactly which buttons to press,which places to touch just to
make me go insane and right now he was succeeding. I wanted him so bad I couldn't compose it
anymore.
I ripped his vest off,unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down. I went down on him...
I know very well that shocked the hell out of his sockets,I don't normaly do that...guess I was just
giving him a treat.

Him:"tsi...tsi... Baby! Daamn!"

I could see he's about to burst a nut ndamyeka,I got up and clung onto him so he could steer himself
in with ease. When we were joined,he turned around and pinned me to the wall and grind so hard
and so deep

Me:"b-b-b Lord! Baby.... Aaaaah God!"

Ntando fucked my brains out then took my upstairs,laid me on the bed and went to close the
curtains then he got on top of me,kissing me from the crown of my mound to the tip of my tongue.
He looked at me...deeply,the kinda look that would creep me out but today,right now, this specific
look connected our souls as u Jojo entered his palace so majestically I whinced and dug my nails into
his back. He lifted up one of my legs,not even for a second removing his eyes from mine

Him:"ndiyak'ncanywa kodwa mfethu"

Me:"mmmh"?
Him:"sucimela babe...look at me"
I took a deep breath in before opening my eyes,how does he expect me to keep my eyes open when
his lower body was casting magic spells to my own? He was doing it ever so so slowly... Had my
mouth partly opened
He kissed my dry partly opened lips,still on that slow motion down there

Him:"I love you"

Me:"I... Love... You... Too"

We kissed again and continued with the deed until we flopped next to each other. I let him breathe
for a couple of seconds then I rolled over,crossed one leg over his body,lay my head on his chest and
drew sweet nothings all over his body with my index finger. He kissed the crown of my head

Me:"you seem fit"

Him:"you bring out the athlete in me"
Me:"damnit I missed you"
Him:"if I'm gonna get it err'day then I'll stick around"

I lifted up my head ndamjonga

Me:"what are you tryna say"?

Him:"I'm just pulling your leg,I love it here"
Me:"what exactly do you love here"?

He pulled me up closer to him...

Him:"spending time with my family: playing with my niggas and my lil princess and then
ofcoz...making love to my beautiful wife"
Me:"mmh,beautiful wife you say"?
Him:"MY beautiful business-woman slash lawyer wife"

I planted a kiss on his lips,he parted them pulling me up so my entire weight was on him. I parted my
legs to be on either side of him,just to find balance. . . Then we stopped,I couldn't stop smiling
though.
Me:"Ntando wam"
Him:"hm"?
He smiled pinching my cheek

Me:"why ungahlali apha tana,like long term kinda thing"?

Him:"we both know why"
Me:"maar baby I want you here,I need you here with me. I need my husband"
Him:"heey,hey. Ssshh. Let's just rest for a minute,we'll talk about that later"
Me:"maar baby you'll consider it"?
Him:"I'll think about it yes marara"

I lay my head on his chest and smiled to myself,we still had to finish this tonight. It's too good :p .

#374

Ntando slowly traced a finger from the crack of my behind up my spine,my entire body shivered at
that one touch and he felt it.

Him:"iphuma what time icawe ka sis Fats"?

Me:"I don't know,but after lunch"

He lifted my chin and planted a kiss... I smiled knowing exactly what that kiss meant
Me:"mmh,what was that for"?
Him:"how about another go"?
Me:"how about tonight"?
Him:"kutheni ngoku"?
Me:"I just wanna lay here,on you and dream about the future"
Him:"we'll dream together,after you gimme some o' this"

He said that grabbing my ass and pulling my leg up...

I lifted my head and smashed my lips on his,he welcomed me with high quality lust. This time I let
him take full control,he took me to places I had forgotten I could reach for these past few months.
He hit it for about three times before hitting the highest peak,we tumbled back to reality
together...gasping for air. He had nothing to say,he just pulled me for a cuddle and drifted off to
sleep,I on the other hand slowly slid off the bed,wore my gown and went downstairs to start on
Sunday lunch. As I began with the lunch I thought of calling Eve,she never really called after she left
and I wouldn't want Keri to know my marriage dealings coz I know Eve is no kist of secrets... I went
to take my phone upstairs and dialed her:

Her:"Tee"
Me:"Eve,how are you"?
Her:"I'm okay,you"
Me:"I'm good,when are you coming back? We still have alot to do"
Her:"I think it will be best if you finish off everything by yourself,I won't get another leave anytime
soon"
Me:"oh"
Her:"yeah uhm... I have to go hey"
Me:"oh-kay"

She hung up :?
Okay call me anything you like but that phone call was the most awkward I've had with her
I made lunch,went to soak myself in the bath and came out uNtando esalele. I just wore denim
shorts,vest and slippers ndayohlala e lounge. It wasn't long when I heard the main gate bell ring,I got
up and went to the intercom
Me:"hello"
Him:"can I speak to a Mrs Ntabeni"?
Me:"speaking"
Him:"this is Constable Ambrose would you pls open the gate,I'd like to talk to your husband"
Me:"oh...just a sec"
Him:"okay ma'am"

I literally ran upstairs and shook Ntando awake,he opened both his eyes and looked me confused.

Him:"babe,yhintoni"?
Me:"ufunwa ngamarhati"

He stretched and sat up

Him:"kay"
Me:"what have you done? Okay don't answer that... Uzobanjwa"?
Him:"... Nd'vuswa nguwe telling me about cops yet kwa wena u interrogater mna about the same
cops?"
Me:"there's no need to be cocky"

I left him getting out of bed ndayovulela u Ambrose,he was followed by two other cops. I ushered
them to the lounge...

Him:"is your husband around ma'am"?

Me:"yes,he'll be down in a minute"
Him:"thank you"
Me:"may I a-"

Hubby walked down the staircase,one look at him I knew he knows he'll be arrested. Normally he
would have just worn shorts and walked barefoot down those stairs but today he was fully dressed:
black denims,black Superga,black roundneck t-shirt,black hoodie and a black beanie. I swallowed the
lumps that had just built up

Beast:"gentlemen"
Ambrose:"Mr Ntabeni,we won't waste time. We would like to take you to the police station for
questioning"
Beast:"oh"
Me:"questioning with regards or in connection with what constable"?
Ambrose:"a couple of things ma'am,the disappearance of men who we believe once worked with or
for him and a couple other case I wouldn't wanna disclose to you"
Me:"oh okay, so-"
Beast:"we can go Constabel"

The constabel looked me,I looked at Ntando then back to the constabel and shrugged. They got up
and walked to the door,once outside,Ntando dialed my drivers bazomthatha

Ambrose:"what are we waiting for"?

Beast:"my drivers"
Ambrose:"sir,you have to drive with us that means being in the same car"
He just looked at him akamphendula...
The gents hooted outside,I opened the gate bangena he turned to me wakhe wathula for a whole
minute.

Beast:"don't look so worried s'thandwa sam"

Me:"I am not worried,you're a big boy ndi sure you can handle this on your own,I'm just uncertain
what plan are you playing at"
Beast:"uthini ngoku Luu"?
Me:"uzobanjwa yet u calm unje Ntando. Ikhona into ophez'kwayo noba yintoni"

He just kissed me and went to his car, the cops looked at him as if in dismay

Ambrose:"Mr Ntabeni what you're doing is very inappropriate"

Beast:"are we not going to the same station"?
Ambrose:"we are bu-"
Beast:"Constabel,I am not getting into that car of yours. Okay? Now can we go? Or you've changed
your mind"?

Ambrose didn't respond,he got in his car with his cops. Ntando drove out leading the way,after they
were gone I called Ranger:

Him:"Mrs"
Me:"police came to fetch Ntando"
Him:"police? Did you get to hear why"?
Me:"actually no,but Ambrose did mention something about disappeared men and other stuff he'd
rather not tell me about"
Him:"u Ambrose ulapho? As in Constabel Ambrose Mrs"?
Me:"erh...yes. You seem to know him"
Him:"shit"!
Me:"oh-kay,Ranger pls tell me what's going on"

He gathered himself,zoning back to his 'Ranger' tone

Him:"don't worry yourself boss lady,ngamanzi amancane lana and I know its nothing ta Beast can't
handle"
Me:"mmkay,if you say so"
Him:"baph' abantwana"?
Me:"base caweni"
Him:"oh... I'll lamajita to go fetch them. Ungaphumi wena until I give you the heads up. We don't
want a repetition of what happened to happen again"
Me:"oh"
Him:"thank you for the heads up Mrs"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and went to make myself fruit salad on vannilla icecream,returned back to the couch and
called Anelisa

Her:"this is a surprise"
Me:"unjani"?
Her:"I'm good,you"?
Me:"I'm good too... U Gudda ude wafumaneka"?
Her:"what's that got to do with you"?
Me:"am I not to ask"?
Her:"oh,so now you suddenly care"?
Me:"oh cummon Anelisa,khaw'yeka ukuba petty"
Her:"ndim lo u petty S'bongile? Ndim o petty ngoku? Yet because of your selfishness,petiness
siyalamba aphekhaya we have to pay trillions of debts"
Me:"petiness,is that even a word"?
Her:"ungakulinge"
Me:"look,I'm just asking of your brother. Le ye debt yenu andingeni ndawo kuyo"
Her:"eyona ungangeni ndawo kuyo yile uyibuzayo! Ufuna ubuza ngo Gudda? Mbuze pha endodeni
yakho and while you're at it umxelele I'm coming for my child"
Me:"hhmm,looks like I got you on a bad day sana"
Her:"for you,ndizoba kwi bad day everyday. Ungcole gqitha wena,ungcole nalo nkunkuma uy'biza
umyeni"
Me:"hay kodwa uyand'sukela Anelisa,ndikwenze ntoni"?
Her:"undenze ntoni? Either Umuncu or ucing'ba mna ndimuncu. A woman is very much influencial to
decisions her man takes,you could've spoken to Ntando anga claim'i imali yakhe back ko Sima who
also happen to be your brothers,but you didn't now thina silala ngamanzi"
Me:"I still don't understand ndingenaphi mna coz I wasn't there when they made the agreement to
ufundisana kwabo"
Her:"cacile umuncu ke"
Me:"mmkay,this was a bad idea"

I hung up and ate my fruit salad. I didn't wanna let what just happened with Ntando get to me,I
couldn't let it. He's a man,he knows all his actions have consequences mna kuyo yonke into
endiyenzayo I know I have four kids to think for,to consider even now I had to be strong for them
nangona ndingayazi zizothini iz'phumo zayo.

The intercom came through...

Me:"hello"
Fats:"s'cela igate mamakhe"
Me:"okay sisi"

I opened the gate and went to wait for my kids outside,they drove through and stopped right infront
of me. The guys greeted nje as the kids came out... Sino had Uba in her arms as they came to hug
me. Fats came out with Uve,Owe with the bags. I took the twins sangena endlini,served them lunch
then we went to play in the nursary. My sons needed a mommy bonding session hle. I played with
them bade balala,u daddy's girl walked in

Her:"is daddy gone already"?

Me:"erhmm...yeah"
Her:"heee u daddy"

I heard the disappointment in her voice as she turned and went to her room,I went to mine and
threw myself on the bed landing on my back, kwangena i message from Anelisa:
"I'm sorry about earlier,I know he's your brother too I guess I'm just overwhelmed by everything
that's been happening lately. We haven't found Aya,but the police have opened an investigation.
Kiss Sino for me pls"

I didn't respond
I wasn't planning to answer her futhi,I wanted answer ngoku bendimfounele not ngoku kufuna yena
coz ngoku mna bend'cinga ngomyeni wam. I lay there for a few minutes then my phone rang... Caller
ID wasn't registering the number,maybe the app needed to be upgraded.

Me:"hello"
Him:"mamakhe"?
Me:"oh baby, uphi? What's going on"?
Him:"ndiselapha e police station,mamela I only have a few minutes on the line"
Me:"that means uyabanjwa"
Him:"baby khaw'mamele this is important"
Me:"oh"
Him:"I need you to come see me,tonight between nine and ten there's something I wanna give you
uy'nike u Titus"
Me:"Titus as in u Soso"?
Him:"ewe"
Me:"how am I supposed to give him anything ese Portugal na baby"?
Him:"you'll find a way Luu"
Me:"kay"
Him:"nd'cela uzund'phathele i wallet yam ndiy'libele kula harem i navy"
Me:"kay"
Iyaph' i wallet etrongweni?
Him:"I love you,okay"
Me:"mh"
Him:"Luthando"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"ndiyak'thanda,nyhani"
Me:"kay"
Him:"my time is up...see you tonight"
Me:"kay"

The line cut

I know how much he hates the 'kay' responses,but that was the only way I could answer angayiva
ukuba intliziyo yam lihlwili.

375

I threw my phone out of sight and just lay there. Blank. Ntando comes home and within a week
uyabanjwa? Like what the hell? And why on earth is he chilled about this? Ungenaphi u Lwandiso?
Why would Ntando involve Lwandiso in his business dealings? Like what the hell was going on? I
heard the gate bell but I didn't move an inch. I later heard cars driving in,then the door bell but I
didn't wanna move. I didn't wanna do a thing until I heard a knock on my door.

I got up and went to open the door...

Me:"Kuhle"?
Him:"Sis Luu,aw'semhle. Unjani"?
Me:"ndi right,what brings you here"?
Him:"ndizonibona"

I walked out of the room ndavala,we walked down the stairs making conversation. When we got
downstairs Sihle was eating... Was it really Sihle? Why bend'bhida mvanje aba? Okanye ndine stress?
Me:"Sihle"?
Both:"mh"?
Me:"hay fokof,kuthen' nandibhida nje"?
Sihle:"andilambe,where are my kids"?
Me:"balele,zenzele ukutya nawe"
Sihle:"balele emin'apha,are they sick"?
Me:"they're tired,they went to church with Fatima"
Sihle:"who's that"?
Me:"my helper... Guys don't get me wrong neh,but niyaphi? Aren't you supposed to be in Durban?
Working"?
Sihle:"we're here now,hope we're not imposing"
Me:"no you're not"

He made food for himself,Kuhle was quiet this whole time focused on his food. Usually Kuhle is the
talkative one,today they were total opposites and it was confusing. I scooped icecream for myself as
we all sat around the kitchen counter

Me:"u grand Kay"?

Kuhle:"yeah"

He got up and went to put the plate in the sink,took his bag and went upstairs to one of the
sparerooms without uttering another word to anyone. Good thing I keep the rooms clean at all times
xakuvele kufike abantu without notice,and I can't chase them away. Kukokwabo nabo apha though I
still needed to exactly why are they here.

Me:"what's up with him"?

Sihle:"I don't know,oko enjena since izolo"

"mama afunu tatam ma"

I looked up and saw Ubabalo walking down the stairs pulling his brown teddy

Me:"iza ku mamakho boy"

Him:"funi tatam ma"
Sihle:"iza ku tamnci wakho young King"

I saw a sparkle in his eye as he noted his uncle,immediately he registered and ran down the stairs to
him. He took him,put him on the counter wamdlalisa oko umntanam ehleka,walibala noyise for a
moment

Uba:"bani wena tanci"?

Sihle:"ngu tamnci wakho"
Uba:"mama bani lo"?
Me:"ngu Sihle mntanam"
Uba:"Sish'le"?
Me:"ewe"

He smiled at his uncle,revealing a dimple

Sihle:"young King aw'lambanga? Where's your twin"?

Uba:"Sish'le,lambile ma"
Sihle:"qala uthi tamnci,I'll make you food"
Uba:"Sish'le"
Sihle:"tamnci"

Sihle was tickling him,they were laughing uncontrollably ndaphakama and made Uba food,I gave
uncle Sish to feed him then I went to check on the other kids. Sino was still sleeping,uyamthanda
nyhan' utatakhe lomntana coz imkhathazile nyhan' intobuya sengekho uyise. I went to check on the
boys... Found Owe playing with his lil brother

Me:"hey hey"
They looked up and smiled,oblivious to my presence.

Uba:"sadlala moto mama"

Me:"anilambanga"?
Owe:"ha.a mama"
Me:"okay ke"

Owe said mama :) not sisi. That's progress. I returned to the kitchen,it was empty but I heard the
voices outside ndaphuma taking one of my phones with me. I sat down and watched them playing
football together,I've never seen Sihle like this. Uyandothusa mna lona,on the real. I took pictures
with my phone,decided to update my apps in that process. Right then,an international call disturbed
me... From Portugal

Me:"Lwandiso Titus"
Him:"why does it sound like I'm in trouble"?
Me:"unjani"?
Him:"I'm okay,how you holding up"?
Me:"I'm good too"
Him:"I'm just checking up on you"
Me:"oh,ndi right mtchana"
Him:"I got a text from your husband mtchana,I know for sure aw'kho right you don't have to pretend
to me"

I took a deep breath,got up and decided to walk around the garden

Me:"I'm try'na be strong,for my kids. They're all that I have"

Him:"I'm sorry mntasekhaya"
Me:"yaz eyona nto that's annoying me is that,he knew about it. He knew about it and kept calm,kept
me in the dark Soso"
Him:"he's a man mntase,maybe his pride prevented him from saying anything"
Me:"akanoba ne pride nakum u Ntando u Soso bro,I'm his wife"
Him:"you know ta Beast better than I do"

Ndakhe ndathula... I know Ntando. Nyhani.

Me:"he says I should deliver something to you"

Him:"yeah und'xelele,its nothing big mtchana yi file nje"
Me:"I'm afraid to ask ba inantoni kwale file"
Him:"and'yazi nam ke,I'll see it when you've sent it"
Me:"mmkay...tell me something,do you know why he's arrested"?
Him:"he never gave me a chance to ask"
Me:"ay u Ntando"!
Him:"just be strong for your kids,they need you to be focused"
Me:"its not like I have a choice,they're my responsibility"
Him:"shap ke,sothetha later"
Me:"sho"

Akhonto ibingandibhidi ke kona namhlanje,when has Soso ever been this serious? Kutheni na
ndas'ke ndangubhidwayo nje na mna? I went inside leaving tamnci playing nomntanakhe phandle,I
went to play my Keri Hilson collection on the home theatre then I went to cook dinner. The older
twins didn't seem like people who were just passing by nje...
Owe came down with Uvelile babuza u Uba ndabakhomba phandle baphuma leaving me to cook in
peace. Halfway through,I got a call from Liz :o yho ndakhe ndamyeka ndampholisa sana. Tyhini
she was persistant :'(eventually I had to take that call

Me:"Liz,hi"
Her:"hey Tee,everything good"?
Me:"life's life,I'm not complaining. How are you"?
Her:"I'm okay"
Me:"you don't sound okay,are you sure you're okay"?

She went silent...

Me:"its Marc isn't it"?
Her:"maybe"
Me:"what has he done now"?
Her:"Linda has moved in with him"
Me:"as in Linda the sidechick?"
Her:"yeap"
Me:"yho,so what happens now"?
Her:"I went home,permanently now. Guess its really over"
Me:"I'm sorry man,but you will get someone better Liz. Someone who will appreciate you"
Her:"I never really deserved him,Karma just got my address sooner than I expected"
Me:"don't say that"
Her:"its the truth, this is payback for fucking Ocean and secretly crushing on ta Beast"
Me:"forgive yourself and move on Liz,its the best you can do for yourself"
Her:"it hurts though..."
Me:"it wouldn't be love if it didn't hurt,love hurts. So what happens with Junior now that you guys
broke up?"
Her:"he says he'll pay maintanance,take him when he has an opening and stuff"
Me:"are you okay with that"?
Her:"I'm not okay with anything right now,but he's the father. There's nothing I can do about it"
Me:"mmkay"
Her:"there's another reason why I called"
Me:"oh"
Her:"I don't know if you have any knowledge of this but today at work I saw your husband in our
data base"
Me:"oh that"
Her:"so you know,I'm sorry"
Me:"its okay,he's a big guy. I'm sure he can handle it"
Her:"I guess you don't have any info yet"
Me:"uhm, no. I haven't even seen him in there"
Her:"well if you do need any sort of help don't hesitate to call me"
Me:"thank you Liz,I'll keep that in mind"
Her:"okay then,cheers"
Me:"thank you for the call,be strong. For your son"
Her:"I will,bye"

We hung up,Fats walked in

Me:"ambophumla sisi,I'll cook tonight"

Her:"u sure mamakhe"?
Me:"ewe sisi,nd'zokuphakela and send one of these guys to bring it to your cottage"
Her:"enkosi Luthando sisi"

I smiled
Anyone who calls me with that name melts my heart,my husband knows that too well. She walked
out and left me to continue with my cooking,the guys returned just as Sino walked down the stairs.

Me:"nd'cela wonk'umntu ayovasa izandla,dinner is ready"

They all headed for the bathrooms,I dished up and placed the plates on the dinner table then dished
up for sis Fats ndamsela. On my return everyone was already seated.

Me:"Owe pls share grace"

Owe:"okay mama,nd'cela sicimeleni"

We joined our hands and closed our eyes

Owe:"Father we thank you for the food mom prepared for us to eat tonight,thank you for bringing
Uncle Sihle and Uncle Kuhle to eat dinner with us here today,thank you for protecting dad wherever
he is. In Jesus' name amen"

Wow!
We dug in,just making lousy conversation. When we were done we headed to our seperate
bedrooms ndavasa abantwana bam,dressed them and tucked them in bed before bathing myself. I
then wore all black skinny jeans,polo neck,sneakers and a beanie :/ the weather wasn't warm. I
went to the safe in the basement,opened it and took my gun. I didn't just get a licence for it,I earned
it and I wasn't gonna be bullied by men kuba bemazi ubanjiwe u Beast. I loaded my gun,took two
packets of spikes and returned to my room where I looked for Ntando's harem pants and removed
the wallet,took one phone and my own wallet then I went to Kuhle's room and knocked,he came to
the door

Him:"shouldn't you be in pyjamas"?

Me:"I'm going out for two hours or more. Just keep an eye on the kids"
Him:"its past eight at night,and you're going out? Nabani"?

I turned and walked down the stairs saying:

"umyenam akekho ke mtchana"

Andithi ndimxelele I'm going out? I don't owe him no explaination,I grabbed my car keys and drove
out to see bae etrongweni.

376
I drove out,straight to the nearest PE police station holding cells,I signed a register,got searched then
ndangena. A guard led me to a 'meeting room',told me to wait there then he left a nervous and
anxious me alone and emerged with Ntando minutes later then he left us alone and closed the
door,is that even aloud? Aren't they supposed to monitor visits na?
The minute he closed the door I got up,went around the square table and hugged my husband. So
tight. His scent as fresh as earlier,wayimosha ke once he rubbed my back,immediately I felt the
comforting part of the hug I started crying...
I don't know why,coz its not like he's dead or something. He's just in prison :(

Him:"baby sulila kaloku... Ndak'cela sthandwa sam don't cry"

I cried in his arms just for a moment then ndathula,tilted my head backwards and cleaned myself up.
He helped me wipe the tears away,planting a soft kiss on my trembling lips. I didn't want a peck,I
wanted a kiss from him... Guess the timing was just all wrong.
We sat down,across each other... I went silent,waiting for him to maybe try and explain to me what's
going on.

Him:"I'm sorry you had to see me in here,I know it can't be easy on you"
Me:"maybe a lil light on why you're in here will do"
Him:"baby..."
Me:"if uzaw'xoka baby then don't say anything"

He took out a USB and put it in my hand,I put it in my bra without asking questions because I knew
I'll be searched on my way out of this place.

Him:"Titus is expecting that,tonight"

Me:"kay"
Him:"Blade from Durban will contact you k'sasa,he'll drop off something when you meet him"
Me:"kay"
Him:"keep whatever it is until Polo calls you or maybe he'll come in person I don't know"
Me:"kay"
Him:"I hate that word"
Me:"I know"
Him:"but uyalithanda...especially today"
Me:"well that's the only word I can come up with Ntando"
Him:"but you just spoke a full sentence without using that word"

I just looked at him coz I really didn't know what he wanted me to say,after a few seconds of silence
I gave him his wallet still keeping eye contact with him

Him:"thank you"
Me:"so what happens now"?
Him:"you go home,the gents will make sure ni safe all the time"
Me:"uphuma nini apha"?
Him:"I just got arrested,I don't know"
Me:"how do you get arrested? YOU? You baby? u Beast? Kwenzeke ntoni? Or kwenzeke njani ke"?
Him:"well I'm human too you know? I'm bound to do ama flop just like other people"
Me:"that's the thing tatakhe,that's what confuses me. You never do ama flop"
Him:"stop stressing yourself about this okay? Ndiyindoda I can handle it,just take care of my
children"
Me:"indoda ayisoze ibeke usapho lwayo emngciphekweni na ninina"
Him:"indoda has to make certain sacrifices in order to keep his family safe"
Me:"meaning you knew uzobanjwa Ntando,you knew damn well that uzobanjwa namhlanje yet you
kept me in the dark"
Him:"what difference would it have made? Coz at th-"
Me:"what diff- heee my God! I would have atleast prepared myself haibo"
Him:"haikengok mamakhe how do you prepare for someones arrest? This aint death,I'll do what I
came to do nd'phume and go back to you"
Me:"uz'mamele Ntando"?
Him:"nditheni ngoku"?
Me:"you just confessed that you're here on yet another mission"
Him:"huh"?
Me:"andisambaweli umntu onondingombela wena apha kule trongo ukhe ubhadle and know that
we all have one life,akho spare"

He just stared at me
Studied me infact
I got up,fixed my polo neck and looked at him

Me:"ziph' phone zakho"?

Him:"cellar safe,underground basement"
Me:"why am I not surprised"?

He got up too
Him:"you know me too well"
Me:"remove the sarcasm in that"

He smiled... :/ I wanted to fold him into a Chappies sized piece nd'phume naye. But that was just a
dream...

Me:"bye bye"
Him:"one last hug"?
Me:"ndizode ndinuke ivumba le trongo"
Him:"and'nuki trongo mna babe"
Me:"not yet"

He pulled me to his side,we hugged and that led to the longest kiss we've shared until the same
gaurd who brought him returned barging in but we ignored him... Well,not until he spoke up

Him:"sorry ta Beast grootman,la chap u Ambrose iza kwelicala u madam kuzofuneka ahambe ngoku"

We kissed one last time then the guard escorted me back to where I had parked my car,he made
sure ndiphumile kwalapha kwi premises before he even returned inside.

I took a drive to McDonalds,bought myself a caramel McFlurry then took another drive to the
beach,walked to a big stone and just sat there eating my flurry. This is a point where I'd call dad (Mr
Smith) and he'd encourage me,tell me dit sal reg wees ek moet net bid na die Here en vra vir
strength to keep going foward. I missed him,maybe I need to take a drive to the farms and visit uncle
Vuyisile. Ndagqibela pha ndisakhulelwe u Junior,I doubt they know he never made it. My phone
rang,I looked at the caller id and put the call on mute. After 15 minutes it rang again...

Me:"Sihle"?
Kuhle:"kutheni ungay'bambi eyam i call"?
Me:"excuse me"?
Kuhle:"never mind,uphi Tee mfethu ku late and you know how dangerous PE can be"
Me:"nd'yeza"
Him:"okay sharp"

Okay :o
Kwenzekani ngo Kuhle? Why the sudden protectiveness? I finished my McFlurry,got inside my car
and drove home. On my way,still at a fair distance from home I spotted two car following me,I
decided to drive around a bit maybe ziyazihambela so I took an opposite turn and made way to
Zwide..the cars persisted steadily behind me. I came out of there nd drove around home until they
got tired and blocked the road I had to stop. One other guy came out... As he walked towards me I
brightened my headlights and recognized the face. Yanga. I lowered my window kancinci so that
ndizomva ba ufunu thini,he reached my window

Him:"exe Trina"
Me:"Yanga"
Him:"z'khiphani"?
Me:"khaw'thethe lento ubuzoy'thetha mfethu andina s'khathi"
Him:"ah boss lady...hay ne otherwise bend'saluta"
Me:"wenza bani muncu Yanga"?
Him:"heh haikengok andaz' uthetha ngant-"

I revved my car out of that place just in time before another set of four cars zindivalele indlela,it
wasn't long before I heard gunshots. I ducked while driving,only to realise that my car was bullet
proof nje. All six cars followed me,I was still hearing the multiple gunshots now I had no choice but
to be ready with my own gun coz home was just six blocks away. I peaked out my window and shot
at their tyres resulting in two of the leading cars swerving off the road. As the four pursued me I
dialed Kuhle...

Him:"Tee u-"
Me:"khavule igate"

[shots went off]

Him:"is that a gun"?

Me:"uy'vulile le gate Kuhle"?
Him:"oh okay,in a minute"

I stalled until I heard "ivuliwe" then I threw one packet of spikes on the road as I raced nomoya
ndangena zwabha into my yard then the gate closed. I could hear the screeching sounds of tyres and
other smashing sounds as I locked my car ndangena endlini. I went inside,locked and went straight
up to my room without saying a word to anyone ndakhulula,took his laptop,plugged the flash and
forwarded the locked file to Soso then ndalala.

I woke up in the morning and prepared for work,after getting dressed I went downstairs ndafika
sepheka ipapa u Fatima. Now this is another reason why I love her,she had an early night but still she
knew that makavuke namhlanje azophekela abantwana bam. I greeted her,made cereal and lunch
for myself as we listened to News bulletin:
"about eight men passed away yesterday as a result of suffocation and fire when their two cars
collided in PE last night, the police have opened an investigation"
Well what do you know? In one night,one go, I did what Beast couldn't do in many years. Getting rid
of Yanga and his men wasn't supposed to be that easy though,good thing about this whole situation
is that I merely shot their tyres and threw spikes endleleni... I didn't kill them. Their ignorance did.
But now,I had Razor to look out for. That's if usaphila kwayena.

My day had been made,I took my bags and left for work without seeing my sons coz I know
bazond'lilela. Luckily ndafika no Libhongo,told her I needed briefing in the next 30 minutes then I
went up to my office and called Lauren...
I had to re-open that boutique in Jozi kwamsinya before I loose its major clients. As soon as Lauren
and her team could work their magic then I could re-open the store with a meet and greet kinda
thing,just to make the clients feel valuable and appreciated.

#377

Exactly thirty minutes later I saw Libo walking into my office for the overall briefing,halfway
through,Blade called:

Me:"Banele"
Him:"can we meet near NMMU main campus in fifteen"
Me:"okay"

I hung up,took my keys

Me:"pls email me the rest,I have a meeting to get to"

Libo:"yes ma'am"

I drove that short distance coz I didn't know what exactly I'm going to fetch,nd'cinga uhamba
without the car kanti ndizosindwa apha. I saw him at a distance,weza and got in the car with a brown
briefcase.

Him:"u grand"?
Me:"moja wena"?
Him:"moja,kuthwe le package uzay'nika u Polo"
Me:"sharp"

He got out of my car,I drove home and called Fats on my way...

Her:"mamakhe"?
Me:"pls wait for me at the gate"
Her:"okay sisi"

I hung up,drove to the house and dropped off the case ndamxelela to put it in my room then
returned to work. Laura was already at a job in Jo'burg,said that she'll be done in a space time of a
week meaning there's a possibility that they could begin pha kum the following week. I continued
with my work... Until home time. I don't know why my husband has no timing yaz? In the next
month I had to begin with school for my business course,no part time for the designer course. Yena
uyabanjwa? Mxm.
I headed home ngexesha lotshayisa,ndafika kukho imoto emnyama -_- my heart wanted to
believe that he's out,maybe this car came to drop him but my mind told me that's just a fantasy. I
parked,took out my bags and walked in. Gqi ngo Marcus edlala nabatshana bakhe bonke

Me:"Marc'O'Polo"
Him:"hey,here's mommy"
I went to hug him,he kissed my cheek as I sat down next to him

Me:"you look...fit,buffy"
Him:"oh and I'm great,how are you little one"?

Uvelile came to me,he was in a foul mood and it can only be because he misses daddy. Just like
Sino,he's daddy's baby through and through. I picked him up and put him on my lap

Me:"good good"
Him:"are you coping though"?
Me:"do I have a choice"?
Him:"just be st-"

Just then the older twins walked in walking behind the other,bequmbile.

Kuhle:"ta Marcus,Tee"
Us:"hey"
Kuhle:"u grand big guy"?
Marc:"lekker man,en jy"?
Kuhle:"lekker boet,au sis Fatty Fatty"

He went to Fatima in the kitchen :/ oh-kay he was in a good mood. Actually their moods had
swapped coz u Sihle was in Uve's mood. Eintlik that's the Sihle I know

Marc looked at me and indicated towards Sihle,I shrugged

Me:"have you eaten"?

Marc:"yeah just now,and I'm not here for long I just came to pick something up"
Me:"mmh"

I left Uve and went to fetch the case in my room,brought it back ndafika u Sihle ethuthuzela u
Uvelile. I gave Marc the case,he hugged me ,kissed my sons then he left. I took Uve
upstairs,undressed him and went to have a bath naye wathula. He even made conversation :)

Me:"I love you"

Uve:"I love you"

For once he didn't say 'yav' kuyakhulwa nyhani

Me:"you know daddy loves you neh?"

Uve:"Uve love daddy"

I kissed his chubby cheeks,we bathed and came out..got dressed in PJs then we went to the rest of
the family for dinner.

...

One week passed umyenam esemjiva,it was certainly not easy on me though Kuhle and Sihle kinda
tried to close that gap when it came to the kids. And funny enough,they never mentioned why they
came here and we never spoke about their brother's arrest though a part of me told me they knew
about it.

I was scheduled to go to Joburg the following week to give Laura and her team the key and maybe a
few pointers on how I wanted the deco. On Saturday,I decided I won't be working at all. I wanted to
spend time with the kids so I stayed in bed for an extra two hours nje resting my body and mind
before ndibakhuphe. I only woke up when there was a knock on my door...
I grabbed,wrapped my gown around my body and went to open

Fats:"sisi kukho amapolisa afuna wena downstairs"

Me:"amapolisa?"
Fats:"ewe sisi"

I closed the door and led the way,xand'fika kutha xhanxhasholo about six cops eme
ngeenyawo,Kuhle ebathe ntsho ngamehlo with both his hands buried deep into his pockets while
Sihle was playing with the kids on the patio

Me:"molweni"
Ambrose:"Mrs Ntabeni,you are under arrest for your involvement towards the death of the eight
men who died not so far from here, last week"
Kuhle:"uqhunyiwe loh"
Me:"khaw'me Kuhle,uthini Ambrose"?
Ambrose:"Constable Ambrose to you,you are under arrest"
Me:"I heard that part,now the second part"
Ambrose:"for the death of eight man who happened to be chasing you when their cars collided"
Kuhle:"so how exactly did she kill them"?
Me:"so let me get this straight,you Ambrose and the rest of your puppets have come into my
home,to arrest me. Right"?
Ambrose:"I told you ma'am that its Constable Ambrose,and yes we've come to arrest you. Now pls
don't waste our time"
Me:"As far as I know these are just allegations,Ambrose. Or am I lying"?
Ambrose:"what do you take us for? We wouldn't be here if we didn't have any solid information but
if you must know, we have a very reliable source"
Me:"and I guess you have solid proof or evidence as to why you've come to arrest me"
Ambrose:"ma'am"
Me:"I want to see the evidence"
Ambrose:"you are delaying us and undermining our intelligence Mrs Ntabeni"
Me:"I just happen to know my rights Ambrose,now evidence to why you're linking me to whatever it
is you're linking me to"
Kuhle:"do you atleast have a warrent of arrest,Konstabel"?

I heard the other policemen mumbling...

Me:"well it does seem like you do not know why you're here Ambrose because if you did
know...your puppets wouldn't be grumbling like hungry dogs at that question now akhe
ning'khwelele nje kancane. Go chase your ghosts elsewhere"
Ambrose:"we'll be back"
Me:"please,and get your story straight next time because I won't be as kind. You do realise that this
is harrasment,infront of my babies"?
Kuhle:"and its in our right to lay charges"
I left them kula mnyango and went to the kitchen,made myself chamomile tea. My body needed a
'wake-me-up' hay lendlalo yo Ambrose.

Ambrose:"there's no need for that"

Kuhle:"there'll be more than a need if you step onto this door again accusing my sister of such
rubbish"
He said that opening the door for them to leave,they left ngomgca wama China. He came to the
kitchen and sat right infront of me

Him:"Tee"
Me:"Kuhle"
Him:"ithini lento ithethwa ngalamarhati"?
Me:"awuwevanga kodwa nd'fike ume nawo"?
Kuhle:"I'm trying to help here"
Me:"I never asked you to"
Kuhle:"Wayaph' ngobab'suku you told me to keep an eye on the kids"?

I drank my tea...
I don't have to explain myself to him.

Kuhle:"these guys died that night,I remember hearing gunshots that night when you called me for
the gate. I also remember the sounds thereafter... Pls be honest with me Tee,are you or were you in
any way involved in this whole thing"?
Me:"No"
Kuhle:"then where did you go to that night"?

I wanted to tell him that I'm a grown woman I don't report to him,him being my brother-in-law
doesn't make him my husband. But ndaz'bamba...for now.

Me:"I went to see my man"

Kuhle:"you went to see your man? Elaxesha bro,Phi?"
Me:"Kuhle how old am I kanene"?
Kuhle:"excuse me for cross-question you okay, but Ungumfazi ka bhuti and xa engekho its my job to
protect you"
Me:"why the sudden protectiveness"?
Kuhle:"huh"?
Me:"I've been protecting myself for as long as I can remember,why now? Yinton' le uyaziyo
ndingayaziyo"?
Kuhle:"you are changing the subject now"
Me:"aniphangeli? You've been here all week,kuthwan' emisebenzini yenu"
Kuhle:"relax,we are still gonna be here for another week"
Me:"suqala ngokuth' I must relax,kuphi apha"?
Kuhle:"kukwakho I know that,or sew'funa ukusigxotha"?

I downed my coffee ndamshiya,I went outside to the patio

Me:"morning"

Bend'phendula bedlala...

Me:"nd'cela niyovasa,we're going out"

Sino:"aw'phangeli namhlanje mama"?
Me:"ha.a baby"

That was enough,they (her and Owe) dropped everything and ran to their rooms. I picked up
Ubabalo

Me:"uqumbele nton boy"

Uba:"a.a mama"
Me:"ha.a ntoni ngoku"?
Uba:"uthi boy mama kum"
Me:"kanti awuyo boy na Uba"?
Uba:"utanci uth' Ya'King kum"
Me:"oh so now I must also say young King"?

He nod,I kissed him and took Uve by the hand sayovasa. Xasigqiba kwangena i call... A familiar
number :/ then it registered under Bullet...which means Ntando left with a phone. Why would
Bullet call me with a different phone coz he's one of my drivers and I have his number?

Me:"tatakhe"?
Him:"usalele"?

I knew it!
How the hell does a prisoner come in with a phone? Or azikho loyal kwa ezi prison warders?

Me:"hm.mh"
Him:"nd'cela uzond'bona"
Me:"can't... I'm taking the kids out"
Him:"late ke"
Me:"I'm going to Jo'burg late... Ikhona ingxaki"?
Him:"uyothini e Jo'burg babe"?
Me:"I have business in Jo'burg,or have forgotten now"?
Him:"uzobuya nini ke"?
Me:"baby what is this? Why am I being cross-questioned kanene"?
Him:"I just miss you"
Me:"but und'shiye apha und'bona wakhetha uyoba libanjwa kalok"
Him:"this is not easy yaz mamakhe"
Me:"but you're a man,you can handle it. Well that's what you told me"

Wathula...
I was trying my best not feel for him,he chose this. Makay' handle'ishe ke ngalendlela ebecinge
uzayenza ngayo. Uthando lunamanyala kodwa :'(

Him:"uyayaz'ba ndiyakuthanda Luthando"?

I kept quiet

Him:"Sibongile Trinalique Luthando Ntabeni"?

Me:"Ntando"
Him:"I said I love you"
Me:"I know that"
Him:"are you sure about that"?
Me:"baby I know you love me,though at times like now you just have a funny way of showing it"
Him:"one day you will understand"
Me:"aw'funi uthetha nabantwana bakho? Maybe they'll motivate you to come out sooner"

He chuckled.
I put the phone on loud speak wakhe wabamamela bez'ncokolela.

Him:"Uvelile"?
They abruptly stopped and looked at the phone...

Him:"Ubabalo"
Them:"mamam hanku tatam e fonin yethu"

#378

Him:"iphone yenu,since when do you have a phone"?

Uba:"tatam buya loku"
Him:"zobuya boy soon"
Uba:"a.ana tatam uthi boy wena kum"
Him:"kanti awungo boy"?
Uba:"a.a tatam,tanci uthi kum Ya'King"
Him:"ya what"?
Uve:"daddy uphi wena"?
Him:"I'm working boy boy"
Uve:"buya loku daddy iza u mama"
Him:"oh my boy,ndizobuya kaloku just be a little patient"
Uba:"tatam mani"
Him:"Ubabalo"
Uba:"ithi Ya'King,suthi boy"
Him:"oh okay,I love you guys"
Uve:"Love you daddy"
Uba:"love you tatam"
Him:"now give mommy her phone"

I was lying next to them this whole time,his warm conversation with his sons melted my heart so
much :'( I took my phone...

Me:"Beast yam"
Him:"yinton' le ithethwa ngu Ubabalo babe"?
Me:"young King baby"
Him:"hee! Ngomphi lo tamnci umxelele lonto"?
Me:"ebedlala no Sihle so it could be him,oko endixelela ba akango Boy yena ungu Young King"
Him:"talking about o Tamnci,nihleli kakuhle nabo"?
Me:"yeah,but Kuhle can be quite over protective and a lil bit controlling though and mna
andimqhelanga enjena. He creeps me"
Him:"bear with him,he's never seen his big brother in this place before so he feels its his
responsibility to protect you guys when I'm not around"
Me:"but uright nje u Sihle"
Him:"uyabazi abafani mamakhe,though he's more hurt than his brother but he can compose himself
quite well"
Me:"ooh uthi bebezok'bona nini"?
Him:"izolo"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"uzoza nini kengoku wena"?
Me:"andaz babe... Ndizobona but I can't cancel the outing I already told the kids to bath so
sebezogqiba ngoku"
Him:"xa usiza nd'cela und'phathele my black leather gloves zikwi sport bag"
Lol but I never said ndizoza nje unjan uNtando? I just chuckled

Him:"I know you will come,noba uze nini"

Me:"you sound sure"
Him:"because I know you,you're my wife. Remember"?
I smiled ^_^ but how does he do that?

Me:"I have to go"

Him:"mmkay...bye bye and enjoy your outing with our kids"
Me:"thank you"

We hung up
I ran a bath for the twins ndabafaka and redialed their dad

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"I forgot to tell you that I love you"
Him:"oh... I love you more"
Me:"but then why do you sound surprised"?
Him:"I just...doesn't matter,enjoy your day"
Me:"thetha baby"
Him:"hay mamakhe yeka"
Me:"tatakhe"?
Him:"I just thought usand'qumbele ngayo yonke leway"
Me:"I'm hurt yes,mostly because you excluded me when you planned this whole thing yet you
expected me to accept it"
Him:"I wanted to protect you"
Me:"but with that being said I won't be upset forever. I love you,you're my husband"
Him:"I knew the first time I proposed to you that you're for keeps yaz,even though you accepted the
proposal the second time. Thank you for saying that,means alot to me"
Me:"kay ke...sharp"
Him:"sharp"

I hung up prepared myself and my young kings, packed their swimsuits,sunscreen and towels then
we went downstairs and called our drivers and waited for them.

Uba:"Sish'le"?
Sihle:"I thought ndingu tamnci"
Uba:"Sish'le sawamba no mama thina,nawe 'zohamba nam"
Sihle:"uyand'xelela or uyand'buza Uba"?
Uba:"ha.ana ke Sish'le"
Sihle:"what have I done now"?
Me:"kaloku umphe igama elitsha... Young King,oko esingxolela ngalonto notatakhe"
Sihle:"heee ngqina,kodwa uyi King nyhani wena. Come here"

He tickled him until the car came,Sino and Owe ran outside... Kuhle came out of his room:

Me:"we're going out,wanna tag along"?

Kuhle:"nibheka ngaphi"?
Me:"beach...maybe,and'kho sure ba bafuna ukuyaphi"
Kuhle:"is it safe though"?
Me:"I don't know...but they can't be cooped up in here forever"
Kuhle:"I don't think its a good idea..."
Me:"but K-"
Kuhle:"but sizohamba sonke ke just to be on the safe side"
Me:"oh..."
Kuhle:"Veve iza ku tamnci wakho"

:) I grabbed my bag and followed,we got into the car.

Me:"Sino ufuna utya ntoni"?

Her:"u McDonalds mama"
Me:"Owe"?
Him:"nd'bawela i pizza mna mama"
Me:"uzohlutha yi pizza boy"?
Him:"and'funi u small kaloku mama"
Me:"ooh,bo tamnci nizotya ntoni"?
Sihle:"mas'qale ngaba,we'll see what to eat along the way"
Me:"okay"

Bullet drove tn these places,I came out with each one of them akethe lento afuna ukuyitya. Then the
uncles and I decided to buy Nandos family meal on our way to the beach,when we got there the kids
changed into swimwear and their uncles joined them I sat inside the car just watching them.

I remembered recently when I had gone to the hospital because my husband and my children had
been in an unfortunate accident,the way I lost it when I didn't see one of the twins. I had already
concluded the worst and my husband's calm nature wasn't helping at all. As I sat in that car I
remembered how much Ntando tolerates me. He does. He loves me with my tantrums,sometimes
its as if he doesn't see me ubona this perfect wife who's way too good even for him... I still don't
know how he does that. I missed him. I missed playing pillow fights with him,I missed hearing his
deep voice in the morning or his moans and groans...
:'(
"u sharp Mrs"?

I snapped and looked at Bullet...

Me:"hm"?
Him:"u grand"?
Me:"yeah...why"?
Him:"ingath' ucinga kude madam"
Me:"hay man ndi grand"

I ate snacks and just watched my family having the time of their lives,seeing them play so freely and
happily brought peace to my heart.
Eve called...

Me:"Evelyn Smith"
Her:"hey lil' Sis,how are you"
Me:"I'm okay,you"?
Her:"I'm cool... Uhm,can we talk"?
Me:"shoot"
Her:"I've been harbouring this since about last week,I just want to apologise for my reaction towards
everything that happened when I was there"
Me:"its okay"
Her:"I know its not,I just... I guess for a minute it dawned to me that being a gangsta's wife isn't as
glamorous as we see it to be"
Me:"like I said Eve,its okay. I understand"
Her:"I'm really sorry lil' sis. Even when you called that day I know I was a bit offish. I'm sorry coz that
was a result of me being jugdmental of your life"

I kept quiet...
I didn't know what to say...

Her:"I know you guys love each other despite the dangers that come with your life and that alone
brings me peace"
Me:"You're a big sis for real you know that"
Her:"I love you"
Me:"I love you too,now when are we doing the final preparations for your wedding"?
Her:"I'll be there next week,if thats okay with you"
Me:"ofcourse its okay,if you'll bring Booboo"
Her:"ha.a ha.a where is he going,we'll be working most of the time"
Me:"he'll get a chance to bond with his other cousins"
Her:"they're back? Oh okay,I'll go and fetch him"
Me:"okay then"

We finished off our conversation then I took towels out,the food and snacks and went to lay them
on the sand. They all came running to the shore

Uba:"mamam Ya'King ya s'immer phaaa ne Sish'le"

Me:"Young King uya swimmer"?
Uba:"ewe mama,a s'immer u Uba wakho"

He was just so adorable,I kissed him and every other child then batya

Sihle:"so now where are we going guys"?

Owe:"movies tamnci"
Sino:"I wanna go shopping mna tamnci"
Sihle:"yho,ingath' ndiz'qalele into ibikude kunam"
Sino:"if aw'nayo imali ye shopping akhongxaki tamnci"
Kuhle:"we'll go shopping nana akho ngxaki"
Sino:"thank you"

I saw what Ntando was talking about ku Kuhle,yes he was happy right now but he didn't want my
children to feel la gap yok'ba utata wabo engekho. But then again,u Ntando uhlala engekho most of
the time nje and abantwana bakhe are used to not seeing him all the time. This time was no
different.
Okay maybe ke... Moral support :) while everyone was enjoying themselves I got a call from
Kabelo

Me:"Kabs,hey"
Him:"hey how are you"?
Me:"I'm great man,yourself"?
Him:"same here,I need a favour. A huge one"
Me:"okay lets hear it"
Him:"I have a seminar this coming Friday with the second year law students,I'd like to include you in
our program just to say a word or two of motivation"
Me:"oh okay,what time will the seminar be held"?
Him:"twelve afternoon,and we'll pay for your flight so don't stress yourself about anything"
Me:"hah,you don't have to I was gonna come that side this week anyway"
Him:"are you sure"?
Me:"yeah,look I'll contact you Thursday so we can meet up and you'll brief me of what is required of
me"
Him:"oh thank you"
Me:"alright,thank you for thinking of me"
Him:"enjoy the rest of your day"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and smiled

This means I'm no longer going to Jozi namhlanje,meaning I can visit ta bae tonight.

"whoever that was,they surely have an impact in your life uncumo lwakho says alot"

Me:"hm"?
Kuhle:"the phone call"
Me:"what about it"?
Kuhle:"never mind"

Oh-kay?

379

We ate up and went to the movies,it was already getting late so when we came out bafuna ukuya
kwi shopping ndaz'khupha mna

Me:"there's somewhere I have to be,can't we do the shopping nextweekend Sino"?

Sino:"yho mama"
Me:"oh haike,makuqale kugoduswe mna kushiywe nabantwana then the rest of y'all can go
shopping"
Sihle:"uvile young King nizoshiyeka"?
Uba:"osh'eka nawe ma"
Sihle:"uzoshiyeka no Fats,not nam Ubabalo"

He sulked :(

I told the drivers to drive us home,ndohlika mna nabantwana bam as the rest went to their shopping
spree. When we went to the beach I had worn chiffon short one piece with sandals,so now I changed
and wore a denim shirt/dress that reached just above the knee along with white chucks and a white
Nike cap. I looked for the gloves I was asked to bring,put them in my handbag ndaphuma and
bumped onto Uve downstairs eating a carrot,I bent down and kissed him

Uve:"yaphi mama"?
Me:"ndiya kude...kiss u mamakho"
Uve:"zabuya ne daddy"?
Me:"ha.a daddy akazobuya namhlanje,but,I'll tell him you miss him okay"

He nod,I kissed him one more time before grabbing my car keys and leaving the house. I drove in my
own pace...
Laura called...
Me:"Laura,good day"
Her:"good Mrs Ntabeni,I just wanted to find out how do we get the key to the boutique"
Me:"when were you planning to begin with the work"?
Her:"Tomorrow,but I'm on my way to PE right now I have to fetch a file"
Me:"when's your return to Jo'burg"?
Her:"tomorrow morning"
Me:"call me before your flight then so I can give you the key"
Her:"alright"
Me:"cheers"

I went to park my car,took a deep breath and fixed myself before heading to the prison entrance. I
was checked then ndasiwa kwi waiting section... Again,ese caleni. Private. He wasn't there so I
waited impatiently

"umntu akazobiwa kengoku xa asuke abemhle kangaka umyenakhe ebanjiwe"

I looked up and smiled,kodwa uNtando wonwabile apha...he looked :pyummy. I stood up and
went to hug him
He held me tight by the waist,I buried my head deep in his chest and took a deep breath. His one
hand went lower and cupped my buttocks I giggled and kissed his neck. He lifted my chin and smiled

Him:"you really look hot"

Me:"becoz I am hot...or have you forgotten"?

He pecked my lips and led me to the table in the middle of the room,I sat on the table as he sat on
the chair sajongana. I took my handbag ndamnika i gloves zakhe

Him:"thank you,how was the outing"?

Me:"bekumnandi,your kids have gone shopping with their uncles nangoku"
Him:"and the young kings"?
Me:"ha.a I left them at home,kuhambe aba badala"
Him:"mmh,otherwise unjan wena"?
Me:"ndi grand,as you can see,lonto bakuphethe kakuhle apha. Uya glow'er"
Him:"ever heard niqqas calling me King"?
Me:"uyi King nase mjiva kengoku"?
Him:"everywhere I go"

I couldn't help but laugh,uyaz'basela u Ntando s'trubob! We conversed for a while longer then it was
time for me to go

Me:"I have to go now,Uvelile said I should ask you ubuya nini"

Him:"just gimme two more weeks mamakhe"
Me:"yho andidikwe kuba lonely mna"!
Him:"babe..."
Me:"or maybe,I should find myself a second husband kula Jo'burg ndiyakuyo"
Him:"usaya e Jo'burg"?
Me:"yeah"
Him:"mmh,ngas'ke nd'benguwe unethemba lofumana omnyu husband"
Me:"kalok nawe umandelwe kuhlalapha yet kuse winter and I need someone to husband me"
His hand went up my thigh ethule and not even looking up to my face
I whispered:

Me:"wenzani"?
He stopped,stood up between my legs without removing the hand and then he came to my
neck,kissed his way up to my ear and whispered back

Him:"you better be joking kulento uy'thethayo or whoever that man is,he'll regret the day he saw
the sun"
Me:"are you threatening me"?
Him:"take it as a warning"

My entire spine froze,Ntando meant what he said :o without even giving me a chance to say
another word he stuck his tongue down my throat,well its no doubt and certainly no secret that he's
my weakness. I found myself pulling him closer towards the table as we kissed then he stopped and
stared right into my eyes

Him:"kuyo yonke into oyenzayo just remember that I don't like sharing my woman"
Me:"I wouldn't wanna be shared too"
Him:"good,I'm glad we understand each other"

Then he kissed me again until we both stopped,I got off the table and took my bag. I don't know how
I felt about the threat he just made...but I know for sure it made me uneasy.

Him:"you know I wouldn't hurt you on purpose,right"?

Me:"hm"?
Him:"I'd never hurt you"

I faked a smile,he held my upper arm and brushed a strand of hair out of my face while keeping
intense eye contact.

Him:"Nalique"
Me:"but how do you threaten umntu omthandayo,your wife"?
Him:"I am not threatening you,I'm just putting it out there"
Me:"well it feels like a threat to me okay,and I don't like that feeling"
Him:"Luthando and'hlelanga apha kuba nd'thanda nam. I have a home,a family yet here I am
sleeping on bunks eating crap day in and day out"
Me:"I never asked you to do that,you decided to be here without my consent even"
Him:"you just don't understand neh? I love you,okay? I really do but kulena into I do not need your
consent,I do not need your approval though I am here because I have to protect you and the entire
family. I told you it aint easy,I told you waaay before that there will come a time when you will need
to be strong and have a backbone of your own. That time is now,either you are with me or you are
not. Makucace icala okulo baby because I can't be fighting blood wars outchea kuphinde kufuneke
ndilwisane nawe"

Ndodam yand'gcwalisela ndamatha inxibe i 'ovaroro' e orange :'( I even mumbled my answer

Me:"andilwisani nawe mna I'm just saying qha"

Him:"xandine ndlela you know I spoil you,I try my utmost best to spend right about enough time
with you ufuna nd'thini ke xa uzaw'thi uzoz'khangelela omnye umyeni as if andikho ngoku"?
Me:"haibo Ntando I was joking,where's your sense of humour"?
Him:"imnke ne trongo"
 -_- I headed for the door

Him:"you did well with Yanga's crew..."

I turned ndamjonga,he was still facing the table meaning he had his back towards me

Him:"...even though Yanga survived but I gotta give it to you. You did really well Mrs,you made even
more proud of you"

I just went throat dry for a sec...

Me:"how do you know it was me"?

He turned and faced me,with arms folded across his broad chest

Him:"what's important is that I do know"

Me:"it was unintentional yaz baby...they just cornered me I had to find a way to stop them"
Him:"I know..."

I exhaled

Me:"thought uzocaphuka when you find out"

He took the few steps to me and held both my arms...yho uyenza i eye contact uNtando :/

Him:"Und'phungulele umthwalo babe,ndizocaphukelantoni"?

Me:"...don't know"

He kissed me one more time,after that kiss I just hugged him then ndahamba. It was really late and
my fear was a repetition of that night.

...

Laura had called so I met her at the airport,gave her the key so they can proceed with the interior
deco. Three days later,all over the news we read and heard that six inmates were brutally murdered
the previous night at the PE prison. Their names weren't mentioned beause their family members
weren't informed yet. I didn't take much into it,nothing told me Ntando was part of the murdered
inmates so I just carried on with life.
Fourth day,another six was announced dead..something about acid water they drank unknowingly.
Fifth day,the number escalated to eight that was strangled on seperate times and seperate cells
haike this time around I got shaken. I was at work bt I wasn't working at all,my mind was running all
over the place I just couldn't keep focus. I made it a point to watch midday news online,again there
was another murder case but now an entire gang was found dead and the warders and prison
doctors apparently suspected food poisoning. By now my mind was really overworking itself so to
ease myself,I immediately dialed la foreign number ka 'Bullet' and called Ntando:

"the number you have dialed does not exit"

Me:"what the hell"?

I redialed,same result!
YHU

380

I packed my bags and left the office without uttering another word to anyone,I got into my car and
drove home. On my way I called Marc,Ranger,Bullet, I called everyone of the Beastnation but they
were all on voicemail. Even Bullet? Isn't he supposed to be my keeper na? I entered and parked in
the driveway,Kuhle was outside shouting at someone on the phone so I just walked past him
ndangena endlini only to find Sihle doing the same thing aph'endlini...guess we were all stressed by
what was happening. I went up to my room,locked it and fell down on my knees and prayed. I knew
very well that I had no other shoulder to cry on but to cry to God,I lay my all right at His feet,I had to
bare my heart to Him who was,Him who Is,Him who is to come. Like David,I cried to God at my
distress and He heard me...
I think :/
My phone beeped,I quickly said AMEN and checked my phone,it was a missed call notification from
Ntando. I redialled him

Him:"I'm okay"
Me:"really,ah Thank You Jesus"
Him:"I need to ask you a favour"
Me:"anything"
Him:"I want you to erase our call history on your phone,and then you will have to cease from calling
until I call you in a week or two"
Me:"...okay"
Him:"sharp ke"
Me:"sure"

I hung up and rested my head on the edge of my bed looking up... I almost had a heart attack yaz.
Just then,that exact moment I felt familiar abdomenial pains in my lower body. They weren't sharp
but I could still feel them,very painfull. I slowly got up and went to the bathroom,returned to my
room,drank two pain capsules and got into my pj's ndalala. I needed to rest or I'll go insane.

...

Marcus had really dumped Liz for Linda,he paid maintanance for his son and checked on him once in
a while. Turns out Linda is a high ranking prison warder by profession,which made me realize how
calculating my brother is. He has a baby mama at correctional services and now a prison warder
girlfriend... Come to think of it,he could have planned this whole situation. Anyway,Elizabeth moved
to Jo'burg to work that side and she was recovering from the break up. She apparently met up with
Vince :v they became close buddies in a short while and then they started dating...
I actually found out when I had sent Evelyn to check on my boutique since she was gonna come this
side anyway,uthi ke she went for a bite at the joint wafika u Liz esitya

Eve:"Liz? What are you doing here"?

Liz:"Eve hey,pls join me"

Eve joined her and made her own order...

Eve:"So... I heard you broke up with my brother and then BAM,Jo'burg"?

Liz:"yeah,I needed a change of scenery. Cape Town has too many memories for me"
Eve:"mmh,so what about work"?
Liz:"thank God I was transfered here by work,but I gotta say...tis lekker hier"
Eve:"ek kan sien,you're glowing...if I didn't know better I'd say you've found love again"
She blushed... Sending Eve to a loud exclaimation.

Eve:"whaaaat? Who's the lucky guy"?

Liz:"I think you know him,I've seen him with your sister once"
Eve:"with Trina? Don't tell me he's a gangsta as well"
Liz:"no he's not... Atleast that's what he says."

Just then Vincent appeared and came to hug Eve,they made conversation for a moment

Vince:"so you know each other"?

Eve:"what do you mean we know each other? Do you two know each other"?
Vince:"erh yes"
Eve:"really? How"?
Liz:"this is uhm... The guy I was talking about"
Eve:"This is th- wait! You and Vince? Oh my goodness? Someone tell me this is a joke"
Vince:"calm down Eve... How do you two know each other"?
Eve:"she's Marc's baby mama"
Vince:"as in Marc'O'Polo"?
Liz:"erh,yes that's the one"
Eve:"I bet you didn't know that he's ta Beast's brother too"

Then there was silence... Eve just laughed at them.

Eve:"I'm sorry,I thought you guys know each other"

Liz:"well we do now"

:D Eve paid her bill and left them to digest the new information... Immediately after she left them
she called me...

Me:"hey"
Her:"why do you sound so down"?
Me:"its fatigue...what's up"?
Her:"you'll never believe what I just discovered"
Me:"it better be good news"
Her:"heee I don't know about that,but I just saw Lizard in Jo'burg"
Me:"Liz? Isn't she supposed to be in Cape Town,working" ?
Her:"apparently she relocated"
Me:"mmh,that's nice. A fresh start"
Her:"a fresh start that involves your dear friend and half-brother inlaw,Vincent"
Me:"Vincent? As in the ShisaNyama manager Vincent"?
Her:"you can be slow at times you know that? Yes Luu,that Vincent"
Me:"are they friends"?
Her:"they are dating"
Me:"what"?!
Her:"yep,exactly what I said too"
Me:"OMW! Since when? How did you even find out"?
Her:"issa long story,will tell you when I see you I'm coming next wednesday"
Me:"sure"

We hung up
...

Since the first day of the prison murders I haven't been feeling well at all,this was a second week
with my husband in jail and just one more week aphume. Well that's what he said...
I prepared to go to Jo'burg...and on that note I made an appointment with Dr Lauren Xavier,the
gynae who discovered and diagnosed me with AUB.
Something told me not to go on Thursday as arranged with Kabs but instead I told Mo to fetch me
Friday. I woke up,took a quick shower and sat down infront of the dressing table applying my make
up when Sihle knocked

Me:"it's open"
Sihle:"hey... I hope I'm not disturbing you"
Me:"no,what's up"?
Sihle:"I don't mean to be nosy,just that I've noticed you haven't been yourself these past few days"
Me:"oh..."
Sihle:"I know ezizinto siziva ezindabeni maybe taking a toll on you but we're here for you"
Me:"ndiright Sihle,I'm just going through women stuff you wouldn't understand even if I tried
explaining to you. Thank you though"

He smiled...
Sihle:"I'm going to Jo'burg in an hour,was wondering if akhonto uzay'dinga kwelacala"?
Me:"ndiya ngaphayana nam,business meeting"?
Sihle:"yes,nd'yomela u bhuti kwi board meeting uKuhle uya eKapa"
Me:"guess we'll leave together ke"
Him:"business meeting"?
Me:"something like that"
Him:"see you downstairs then"
Me:"sho"

He left,I finished up and took out clothes to wear: maroon knee length trench coat,matching strappy
stilettos,matching clutch bag,beige polo neck,and matching Chinos.
Once I was fully dressed I switched the kangaroo case from the cream clutch,put all my phones and
wallet inside the maroon clutch. I put on perfume,locked my room and went downstairs kissed my
kids then left with uncle Sihle. Mongeza and his loyalty was already waiting, uyand'chaza yaz lo
mfana? When I called him khang'atsho ba uhleli esisa u Sihle e Jo'burg uvele nje wavuma xand'sithi
ndcela azond'thatha. The flight to Jozi was a quiet one,well for me it was kinda painful coz it came
along with memories. The things my husband and I would do in these couches :p ; when we finally
landed I called Kabelo

Kabz:"Miss Smith,have you landed"?

Me:"yes,see you at campus"
Kabz:"alright"
Me:"shap"

I asked Sihle's drivers to drop me off at campus on their way to taking Sihle to Pretoria,they did
without arguing. I got off...

Sihle:"ujika kwa namhlanje mos"?

Me:"yeah,I'll call you"
Sihle:"sure"

I went to UJ,delivered the motivational speach then we went to Wits and TUT for the same thing.
After that,Kabz took me out to a brunch at Wimpy and I was really hungry I couldn't say no

Kabz:"thank you for coming Miss Smith,we really appreciate what you've done"
Me:"its no biggie Kabelo,but what could be a problem is you addressing me as Smith"
Kabz:"it could"?
Me:"if you wanna go all formal on me then call me Mrs Ntabeni,other than that stick to Trina"
Kabs:"I'm sorry man,didn't mean to disrespect you like that"
Me:"its cool as long as we understand each other,so when is the next sermon"?
Kabz:"next is an expo,then before the end of the year we do a year end sermon with the 4th year
students but we'll send your invitation when the time is closer"
Me:"alright,I'll wait for it"

We ate our brunch then I asked him to drop me off at Dr Xavier's office,he dropped me off and left. I
waited for my turn and when it finally came I went in,she asked me a few questions then ran a
couple of tests.

Her:"The results are back"

I shifted uncomfortably as I waited for her to say something...

Her:"I'm afraid the AUB is back and there's nothing much we can do as yet..."
Me:"no treatment"?
Her:"if we treat it now it might turn into cervical cancer,we have to atleast wait for the bleeding"

I wanted to cry as if kuthwe mandilinde ukufa. I called Sihle wadlula ngam sagoduka. I spent the
entire weekend in my room,the kids would come and go no Fats and'phathele ukutya..until
ndadikwa nakukwanasa iintlungu I accepted an invitation I got from LegalWise for networking and it
had an advantage or rather a possibility of one scoring a contract to train the new staff for eight
months.
This day I was supposed to attend that when I woke up to the stench of blood... As much as I felt
unbearable piercing pains I got up and looked down at myself :'( that's when it dawned to me that
this thing was really back.

381

I removed the whole bedding and went to soak it in the bathing tub along with my pyjama bottoms
then I took a shower,dried my body and wrapped a towel as I walked out barefoot back to my
bedroom. I put on fresh bed linen,opened the windows and sprayed air freshner in the air to kill the
blood stench and its bacteria then I put on a sanitary towel,tights and velvet grey trackpants ne vest.
I sat down and called LegalWise to cancel,the manager's PA was really nice and understanding when
I told her it was because of medical/health reasons that I couldn't attend the function. After that call
I got up to go downstairs... I felt a sharp pain piercing straight across my lower belly,that moment I
felt my knees failing my body coz I saw myself going down to the floor as I clutch on that area. As I
struggled to breath through the pain and tears,my damn phone rang. I ignored it. It rang again,I
cancelled the call without even looking at the screen to know who was calling. It rang the third,forth
and fifth time I picked it up ndiqond'ba ndizokhuphela kuyo umsindo walento indityayo until I
noticed that it was my husband calling,immediately I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat though I
knew that was pretty pointless because he knows when something is wrong,and as much as I
wanted him...no,as much as I needed him next to me right now :( I didn't wanna stress him
ngento angenachiza layo phof' ayoyikayo kwayena. I know he fears AUB I saw that fear in his eyes
the last time I had it ngoku ndandikhulelwe o Ubabalo.
And on top of that mna ndingulo utefayo ngendalo so I didn't want him to think I'm faking this whole
AUB thing just to make him feel guilty,I have learnt to accept that Beast doesn't report to me. When
Beast is provoked,he reacts. When Beast wants to get loose,he devours so I knew that there was a
reason why he was behind bars even if I won't be told in detail... But with that being said,I still
needed my husband to help me through this.

Me:"low"
Him:"hey uri- you've been crying. Utheni"?
*cough*
Me:"I'm okay,whats up"?
Him:"Luthando don't lie to me,okay"?

Tears and wet,runny nose were making my pretty face a playing field phof

Me:"I don't know what you're talking about,but I do think ndiqalwa yi flu"

He kept quiet,I on the other hand was dying on this floor but I didn't wanna worry him e busy
etrongweni. If he listened carefully I'm sure he could hear my silent cries,abnormal breathings and
just everything I was doing silently that very moment.

Him:"Luthando Ntabeni"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"ukhalelani"
Me:"I told you I am not cr-"
Him:"ucing'ba ndi dom neh? I can hear you're crying man Luthando stop this guessing game shit
you're on and tell me what the fuck is wrong witchu"!!!
Okay
I removed the phone from my ear just for a second nday'jonga as if ndizam'bona end'shouta but
ndaphinda nday'buyisela still wondering what just happened. I didn't answer him,maybe that's why
he got even more impatient:

Him:"LUTHANDO NTABENI WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING
SO EARLY IN THE MORNING? WHAT THE F-"
Me:"don't you raise your fucken voice at me Ntando tu,don't you dare. Asseblief"!
Him:"my fucken voice? Heh mfazindini ufuna ndithini ke xand'thethayo? I speak in an approachable
tone,you don't cooperate. Now I change the tone,still you have a problem. Kanti ufuna ndithini ke
Luthando"?
Me:"I WANT YOU TO COME HOME NTANDO DAMNIT! Come home"
Him:"heh bethuna ngumhlola! Not so long ago we had this same conversation and I told you...infact
I explained to you why I can't come home right now,wangathi you understand. Kutshintshephi
kengoku? Aph'ebomini bakho why ungafuni ukuzifundisa ukwazi ulinda S'bongile? Why can't you for
once be patient? Cooperate? Huh? Why is that sooo fucken hard for you to do"?

So within a blink of an eye I went from Luthando Ntabeni to Sibongile? I sniffed and wiped my eyes
with the back of my hand,shouting at him kinda took away the little anger that had unnoticeably
built inside of me. I was now calm...
I took a deep breath before answering him...my voice had now suddenly became a good comparison
to that of a church mouse

Me:"the AUB is back"

Cwaka
Me:"and there's no treating it this time around"
Cwaka
Me:"Dr Xavier says if she treats it,it could reform and turn into cancer"
I heard him either exhale or sigh,I'm not quite sure

Him:"so what happens now"?

Me:"I wait until iphinde iyeke after that period I go for pap-smear then we take it from there"
Him:"is it painful nangoku"?
Me:"yeah"
Him:"I'm sorry"
Me:"it's okay,it's not your fault. Anyway,I'm sure you had a reason for calling"
Him:"It don't matter anymore"
Me:"argh cummon! See why I didn't wanna tell you ngalento? You see"?
Him:"I know leway yakho ibuhlungu you don't have to act tough on me now. I was the first one who
saw you okuqala kwayo and I witnessed the pain you were in"

I kept quiet...
He was telling the truth

Him:"Nalique"
:'(
He was hurting too,that's why I didn't wanna tell him. When Ntando says 'Nalique' kubangathi
uyalila ngaphakathi it doesn't matter how angry he was or how upset he was with me the minute he
calls me 'Nalique' I know the human part of him is either hurting for real or uyazisola for something
and right now he was hurting. That very moment I just knew that Singavuka k'sasa kusithwa
abhubhe onke amabanjwa kula trongo akuyo washiyeka yedwa because uzakufuna umntu
wokhuphela umsindo nengcwangu.

Me:"hm"?
Him:"be honest with me now"
Me:"kay"
Him:"how are you feeling? Like right now"?
Me:"I feel like I could just rip this uterus and even the womb out of my body kuphele yonke lento"
Him:"do you want me to call in a specialist? Get a second opinion"?
Me:"how will you do that use tro- you know what,forget I asked that. I don't know"
Him:"you don't know"?
Me:"babe I want to be normal again okay? But I know I won't be able to handle yonke mna lento
alone,the tests,the negative reactions to treatment... I'm not strong enough for that right now and
then abantwana still have two more weeks here they won't understand what's happening to mom
ay I won't cope nje I'm sorry"

He kept quiet
I got up from the floor and sat on the bed,the pains were numb now.

Him:"I'll make a plan to come out this week then we'll see how to go forward"

He speaks as if he's at some hospital or hotel anaphuma naninina efuna :oam I the only one who
thinks prisons are overrated?

Me:"kay"
Him:"I love you okay,I really do and and'funi nto ezokuhlukumeza emphefumlweni njengalena into"
Me:"I know that"
Him:"help me ke and rest until you feel better"
Me:"I still have to go and check emsebenzini,plan an opening event for the boutique in
Johannesburg, meet the marketing team but emva kwazo zonke ezonto I will rest"
Him:"Call Libo and check nge phone pls mamakhe"
Me:"baby kaloku some things need m-"
Him:"Nalique pls,your health is more important than any business right now. And'funungabina mfazi
mna because of some stupid business,okay."

Okay ndathula ke,lento ingumfazi kumele ithobeke,futhi iginye noba kuya krakra mntaka dabawo.

Me:"Nd'cela undithembise ke that uzobuya nyhani kuleveki"

Him:"if things go according to plan then nd'zobuya nyhani"
Me:"babe that's not a promise"
Him:"I promise"

I exhaled

Me:"thank you"
Him:"I'll check on you again in the afternoon neh?"
Me:"you don't have to,but that's okay"
Him:"now erase this call from your phone"
Me:"sho"

After he hung up I deleted the call history then I checked myself and went downstairs to have
breakfast. The house was quiet but Fatima was cleaning the lounge

Me:"baph' abantu balapha Fats"?

Her:"uKuhle uye e Pretoria,u Sihle took the kids to the zoo"
Me:"oh okay"

I went to make myself cereal with dried fruit then I went to eat on the patio watching the sea waves
going back and forth... As I was eating,I got a call from a number with Zambia's registration and with
everything that's been going on,I really wanted to reject it but my instinct wouldn't allow me

Me:"hello"
Him:"Trina,pls don't hang up. I need your help"
Me:"Gudda? Ufunantoni e Zambia? Kunini ufunwa kokwenu?"
Him:"pls,you need to help me. I don't know how I got here,I can't get through to ta Beast's line,I
don't know Ranger's number by heart and andinamali nor do I have documents to find my way back
home"
Me:"you do know that I'm in no position to help you because you messed with my husband,sided
with your dad because you have no spine whatsoever"
Him:"haibo,me and ta Beast are grand nje. And i taima ise mjiva what are you talking about"?
Me:"what?"
Him:"i taima oko yay'ngaphakathi Tee mfethu"

:o something was definitely wrong somewhere here,or,he was pretending this whole loss of
memory thing

Me:"so what do you want me to do"?

Him:"khatsho ku ta Beast athumele u Mo azond'landa mfethu"
:/

#382
Me:"you want me to tell Beast to call Mo"?
Him:"yes"
Me:"who is Beast"?
Him:"haibo Tee he's your husband,my boss"
Me:"oh that guy,sohlukana k'dala nje. You never heard"?
Him:"No man what do you mean nohlukana k'dala?"
Me:"exactly that,I think its been three years now. Kanti how long have you been gone"?
Him:"heee hay and'yazi nam"
Me:"well try calling your family,or better yet,call your baby mama I'm sure they'll be relieved to
know usaphila"

He went silent...
I waited and waited I ended up ndiyibeka ngokwam iphone coz akathethi.

...
Wednesday I woke up and prepared to via work before fetching Eve at the airport. When I got
downstairs the kids were gone. Well I don't know gone where to but they weren't in the house coz it
was too quiet,Sihle was having breakfast wothuka when he saw me but akathetha

Me:"morning"
Him:"hey,feeling better"?
Me:"kancinci but better than the past two days"
Him:"you know you ought to rest,right"?
Me:"right,and I will. Obuya kwam,now where's uncle Kay"?
Him:"he went to Grahamstown with the kids kuba ekucingela kwingxolo and I won't be around the
entire day"
Me:"but Fats is here,he didn't have to"
Him:"myeke wethu,uneztress zakhe naye"
Me:"mmh"

I ate cereal and friut salad,took my bag and car keys ndahamba. I went to work,took two hours
responding to emails,checking financial books and adhering to grievances zabasebenzi in my
absence. I resolved the resolvable then I left for the airport,Eve had landed already. She had come
with Nathan,I kissed him then we hit the road sagqibezela the few things we had to do before her
wedding.

...
Friday again I experienced the familiar pains,to a point I didn't even attempt to go downstairs for
breakfast. Past ten Eve came up to my room with breakfast wafika ndilele ngesisu crying,she put the
tray down and lay next to me trying to calm me down.
My phone rang,way'sabela...

Her:"ta Beast"
Him:"Eve,how are you"?
Her:"I'm okay,your wife isn't"
Him:"oh,what's wrong with her"?
Her:"I don't know,just found her in her bedroom crying"
Him:"pls give her the phone"

She put the phone on my ear though I hadn't stopped crying,this thing was like a hot ash burning or
a rat with very sharp teeth eating through my lower abdomen kunzima nothetha
Him:"babe"
Cwaka
Him:"Luu"
Me:"hm"?
Him:"Eve says you're crying,is it still that AUB thing"?
Me:"mh.mh"
Him:"I spoke to Dr Chetty and made an appointment for nextweek,uthi masiye this weekend"
Me:"mh"
Him:"get ready tomorrow morning,either Kuhle or Sihle will drive you to the airport. I'll meet you in
Jo'burg"
Me:"kay"
Him:"utyile"?
Me:"lambanga"
Him:"but you have to eat,you need the strength to get through the day. Even if you make a fruit
smoothie sthandwa sam pls"

I turned 'round,sat up grabbed a tissue box and cleaned myself. The pains were slowly dying out

Him:"wenzani"?
Me:"I'm sitting up,unjani"?
Him:"I'm okay,you feelin' better now"?
Me:"you sound anxious,be honest with me. Unjani"?
Him:"I'm okay nyhani"
Me:"kay,if you say so"
Him:"now that you can talk,tell me how do you feel ngoku"?
Me:"the pains are numb right now,so I guess I'm fine"
Him:"mmkay"
Me:"I miss you"
Him:"I'm coming out of here tonight but ndizophumela e Joburg I have to close off some deal then
we'll spend the weekend together,I miss you too"
Me:"kay...can you call me again later on? I have something to tell or rather notify you of"
Him:"is Eve still with you"?
Me:"yes"
Him:"oh okay,keep your phone with you then"
Me:"sure,I love you"
Him:"I love you"

We hung up.
I turned to Eve,she gave me the tray

Me:"thanks,but I need the bathroom first"

She nod ndamshiya,came back a few minutes later ndatya.

Her:"so...what's got you so upset"?

Me:"its nothing I can't handle,don't worry yourself about it"
Her:"okay... If you don't mind,can I take the kids out? With your drivers ofcoz"
Me:"oh,ofcoz. Where to"?
Her:"I'm not sure yet,but we'll see"
Me:"oh okay,but pls leave Uba and Uve behind. I wanna spend some time with them"
Her:"no problem"

She left me to eat finish,then I followed down the stairs with my tray,the kids ran to me I almost
dropped the tray thanks to sis Fats who caught it. I hugged all of them then we went to sit in the
lounge,Uba and his twin on my laps then the others next to me on the couch

Owe:"how're you feeling mama? Uncle Sihle said we shouldn't disturb you coz you're sick"
Me:"I'm getting better big boy,thank you for not disturbing me"
Owe:"ooh,that's better coz Sino wanted to tell granma that you're sick"
Sino:"heee u Owe tamnci"

I kissed the side of her head bemhleka.

Eve:"go and prepare guys,we're leaving in 20 minutes"

Sino:"uzohamba nathi nawe mama"?
Me:"ha.a babe,I can't go outdoors until I've met a doctor"
Sino:"then call dad,he'll call doctor Chetty or doctor Dookens"
Me:"I have,but I'm only meeting doctor Chetty nge weekend"
Owe:"okay ke mama,let me go and get ready"

We fist-bumped as he left,his sister followed,once they were ready bahamba no makazi wabo
ongumlungu. I took my phone and went to the patio with my babies

Me:"so how are the young kings"?

Uve:"Miss you mommy"
Me:"ncooh baby I miss you too,come gimme a hug mntanam"
Uve:"uthi baby kum wena mama"
Me:"heee ungenwe yilento ka young king nawe na mntanam"?

They both blushed

Uve:"iphi tatam"?
Me:"and'mazi yaz' mntanam"
Uba:"thatha mamam iphone yakho"
Me:"you want me to call him"?
Uba:"e.e"
Me:"we'll call him later,for now khanindincokolele"
Uve:"thina sawamba wu tanci mama sayakude"
Uba:"u Sish'le kawambanga nathi yena mamam"

...and the conversation went on and on. I was enjoying this,listening to the young kings blabbering
some words I didn't understand but I enjoyed it. It got cold ndabangenisa endlini,both their uncles
were home and they seemed happy to see me out of the room for a change. We joined them
watching a comic,but I excused myself and went to the bathroom to change the sanitary towel first
then I returned to them sabukela.

Kuhle:"yho you don't know how refreshing it is to see you among us,and I see you're feeling better
Tee"
Me:"for now yes,but in the next minute we could be saying something else"
Sihle:"ubukhe watya namhlanje"?
Me:"ewe uncle Sish'le,aunt Eve made me breakfast earlier on"
Kuhle:"don't mind us fussing,we care"
Sihle:"and singacujwa ngezandla ngomnyumntu xasino ngakukhathaleli"

One of their phones rang...

Kuhle:"Speak of the devil,ina i phone Sihle khaphendule"

Sihle:"hay hay hay,phendula ubhuti wakho tshi"
Kuhle:"bra thi is your phone,kuthen' uzand'phendulisa ii calls zakho nje"
Sihle:"ngu bhut'wakho kamnandi lo u phone'ayo and uzaw'phambana if you don't answer that call"

Like...
Iqale yayi issue nini into yosabela i phone? Unless they had a backlash from him earlier,or ikhona
lento bangayenzanga kakuhle ebebathume yona.
Kuhle took a deep breath and faked a smile as he picked up the phonecall

Kuhle:"bhuti"?
Him:"uphi umfaz'wam"?
Kuhle:"nanku bhuti"
Him:"mnike iphone"

Kuhle passed me the phone,I took it ndaphakama and went to the kitchen

Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"why aren't you answering your phone"?
Me:"I'm sorry babe I must have misplaced it"
Him:"but I told you that you should keep it with you wavuma"

I apologised,I don't know ke ufuna ndithini

Him:"usekhona"?
Me:"yeah"
Him:"oh nd'va uthule kaloku, ubuzothini earlier"
Me:"I got a call from Gudda"
Him:"what does he want"?
Me:"he said I should ask you to tell Mo ayomthatha"
Him:"uphambene u Ayabonga"
Me:"what's he doing in Zambia anyaway"?
Him:"and'mazi and I don't give a damn"
Me:"ooh...the young kings miss you"
Him:"bakude kuwe"
Me:"ha.a - Ubabalo nanku tatakho"

The way they ran from the lounge,Uve got to me first I put the phone on loud speaker ndamnika
then he went to meet his brother halfway. I leaned on the counter just watching them,they learnt to
share at a very young age and they still do that

Him:"young kings"
Yho they screamed and ran towards the lounge,I followed and sat down

Uba:"tatam uthi ya'king Sish'le"

Him:"haibo ayingo tamnci u Sihle"?
Uve:"ha.a hanku u tanci lona"
Sihle:"tyhini caba andivelanga makwedini"
Ntando,and the rest of us just laughed

383

Uba:"tanci wabani wena Sish'le?"

Sihle:"tyihin' kwedini"
Uve:"tatamm"?
Him:"nyanam"
Uve:"tanci hu lona neh"?
Me:"ayingo lona boy ngu Kuhle"
Uve:"tatam tanci wam hu Kush'le neh"?
Him:"u Kuhle no Sihle ngo tamnci bobabini"
Uba:"haaayi tata"!
Uve:"Sish'le ungu tanci wena"?

Yhooo saphela yintsini sonke,Abamva nyhani u Sihle abantwana bam shame.

Uba:"tatam buya kalok"

Him:"next week ntwana yam"
Uba:"inini nes'week tatam"?
Him:"uzobona xand'buyile young king"
Uba:"ooh"
Uve:"tata zabuya ne oroplane yakho"?
Sihle:"it's a jet Uve"
Uve:"oroplane ya tatam man Sish'le"
Sihle:"awumbi nje"
Uve:"xel'utatam kemake"
Uba:"bye bye tatam"
Him:"haibo sew'gqibile uncokola nam"?
Uba:"e.e adlala i p'ay station no tanci hoku"
Him:"oh okay,I love you"
Uba:"love you"

He went to sit next to Kuhle who was playing the PlayStation,Uve wayohlala yedwa emnyango still
conversing with his father.

Me:"abakuva mtshana o young king bakho"

Sihle:"tjo hay u worse u Uvelile"
Kuhle:"aw'ngo tamnci chap ncama"
Me:"but they love you as their Sish'le and I'm sure its easier ukunohlula that way"
Sihle:"ndizaw'ba khumbula kodwa ke xandimnkile"
Me:"bazobalapha for a while longer,you can come by xa ungapha"
Sihle:"I think I might just do that"
Kuhle:"u bro usathetha nale chap kula mnyango"?
Me:"ewe,Uve is a bit touchy mntasekhaya. Umkhumbula nyhani utatakhe"
Sihle:"kudala ndimbona"
Kuhle:"unjani wena mama wabo"?
Me:"ndi grand tamnci man"
Sihle:"u sure? Aw'funi nokuba sikuse kwa gqirha"?
Me:"your brother has already booked an appointment with a doctor in Joburg for this Saturday,so
lets just wait for that"
Kuhle:"yho uyathandwa ngu lamfana yazi"
Me:"ndiyamthanda nam nje,ingas'ke ndimtshintshe qha abeyilento ndiy'funayo"
Sihle:"ncama ke apho"
Kuhle:"hahaha tyhini"
Me:"nyhani,but ke andizophuma nto nangoku"

Uve came back with the phone...

Uve:"mama athetha apha utatam"

Me:"makathethe agqibe kalok ndoda"
Uve:"athetha nawe kaloku"
Me:"oooh"

I took the phone from him

Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"ay'tefi lentwana isuke yathini"?
Me:"ufuze umamakhe"
Him:"hay man mamakhe und'moshela ii kings"
Me:"ungak'linge ke bhuti pls"

He burst out laughing,his laughter warmed my heart ndazibona sendi ncuma ndodwa.

Him:"ndicela ulale upakishile ke pls"

Me:"for i weekend"?
Him:"what if you have to stay longer"?
Me:"abantwana bam bazothini"?
Him:"they have two uncles,an aunt and a helper... I'm sure they'll be fine"
Me:"ooh"
Him:"sharp ke"
Me:"love you"

He chuckled and said "love you more" then we hung up. The young kings and their uncles were
playing the play station so I left them,went upstairs to change my sanitary towel and checked my
messages...only returned i phone call ka Titus:

Him:"kunini ndiku founela? Ngubani loh undishiyayo apha kuwe"?

Me:"molo Soso,unjani"?
Him:"ufane wandi ignore'ra yaz Luthando Ntabeni or should I say Sibongile Trinalique Smith?"
Me:"ooh nd'cela uxolo mntase I left the phone in my room"
Him:"tshini"
Me:"unjani ke Titus"
Him:"ndilambile maan,and kuyabanda apha andazi why coz its supposed to summer"
Me:"umntu xa elambile uyatya,xa egodola uyanxiba,plug the heater,eat hearty foods and watch
movies"
Him:"akho chance yomyeni wakho coming this side next week? I miss your food,akusavakali
okwalapha kune after taste"
Me:"so if uyeza uzosindwa kukutya okuvuthiweyo all the way to Portugal"?
Him:"usindwa njani umntu ophuma endlini angene emotweni,from there into his own jet,aphinde
afike selindwe ngumkhosi wezinye imoto"?
Me:"eshe,khambuze ngokwakho ke,you know I don't know iindlela zakhe"
Him:"I can't get through to his phone,kudala ndimzama"
Me:"okay ndizakubuzela ngomso,other than that,how are you? How's work and everything else"?
Him:"everything is going well,I joined a local rugby team and benza ka khulu yho. Cape Town has
n'un on them... Everything is great yaz cuz,its just the loneliness killing me"
Me:"you haven't made friends"?
Him:"I have,but its not the same with you guys. You know most times I miss Landile? Ndimfounele
ke yho andiphoxe,rubbish yomntu"
Me:"Landile soze akuphoxe unless wena uyamduba qha"
Him:"why umthethelela? Who's side are you on"?
Me:"I'm on my own side,dude I know you. Landile probably misses you too qha ever wamduba
omnyumntana wena,ufanele ukuphoxa"
Him:"mxm,uright. Ndizamfounela everyday and night coz he's the missing half of me even if he's as
moody as a pregnant woman"
Me:"and how do you know the moods of a pregnant woman"?
Him:"heee have you forgotten how moody and how ugly you were when you were pregnant? Don't
let me start. Pls"

I laughed so hard,I ended up lying on my back.

Me:"fokof Soso I was never ugly"

Him:"heee u Mrs,don't get mistaken pls. We only said umhle so that uhlale uncumile coz ubuvela
ubeyi wrong turn net kuphele eso smile"
Me:"Soso why are you being cruel to me"?
Him:"tyhin,ube undi act'ela apha"
Me:"kaloku I thought you have a more personal experience I don't know of"
Him:"wena uyeke nini ukuba personal? Mhlaw'mbi"?
Me:"heee"
Him:"exact"
Me:"you mean exactly,right"?
Him:"nope,I mean exactly what I said. Exact"
Me:"aw'soze uphinde ubhadle,but that don't mean I love you any less"
Him:"heeee! Caba andibhadlanga? Yaz usile? Iyakugezisa lendodakho imuncu"
Me:"hahaha hay fokof sukuthi ubabe wam umuncu"
Him:"umuncu nangoku nje u Ta Beast,who in your knowledge and right minds would get themselves
arrested just to kill inmates? Inengqondo lonto"?
Me:"hay Soso who said he killed those inmates? It could have been anybody else mfondini"
Him:"hay mntasekhaya umuncu wena self kengoku,I never knew ubu muncu bu contagious"

I burst out laughing...

Me:"ever heard of the word coincidence"?

Him:"it has no relevance whatsover in this case. Ta Beast gets arrested,akukapheli neveki suddenly
the same prison he's in starts trending for calculated cold blooded murders of top notch well-known
ganglords. That's a quote"
Me:"well I don't care how you justify it,but he is still my husband and I'm inlove with him"
Him:"kakade,lirhamncwa lakho. I understand my dear"
Me:"yhu uyadika shame"
Him:"I miss you and I know you miss me too"
Me:"worry yam abantwana bam uzobuya bengasakwazi"
Him:"yhuuu kuthwa indlela abageza ngayo"
Me:"obani? My children are so sweet"
Him:"hay hay hay"
Me:"serously Lwandiso,my sons are cute and sweet"
Him:"mmmh..I think I get you..."

We continued for a couple of minutes,I hung up and went to help Fats with lunch. She chased me
out of the kitchen I went to join the uncles on the couches...

Kuhle's phone rang,he took it and went to the patio. I took his seat and played against Sish'le,my
boys were cheering their mommy as we played.

...

When I felt the pains coming back I quickly returned back to my room,didn't want my kids to see me
crying and I didn't want pity from the uncles coz there was nothing else they could do. There was
nothing anyone would do infact...

#384

I stayed in that bed for about three hours then I took a hot bubble bath,after that ndabuyela
ebhedini ndalala.

...

Early Saturday morning I woke up while everybody else was still fast asleep snoring,I prepared for
the road and went to pack my bag in the boot then I went back inside ndatya i cereal. Sihle came
down the stairs casually yet comfortably dressed,he looked at me kinda surprised

Sihle:"mamakhe,you're already dressed for the road"

Me:"morning Sish'le,ewe are you the one to take me to the airport"?
Him:"yep,if you're done we can go"
Me:"you're not eating"?
Him:"I have a breakfast meeting so better nditye phaya"
Me:"mmh"

I ate up,rinsed my bowl and followed him to the car. I didn't wanna break my heart by going to the
children first,bazolila bafune uhamba nam which we can't do so I felt it better they hear ndimnkile
kunoba band'bone. The drive to the airport was a silent one,surprisingly I never checked my phones
for any messages since I went to bed the previous night. We got to the airport...

Me:"thank you"
Sihle:"you didn't get to kiss the young kings goodbye"
Me:"they were gonna cry,I just hope I won't stay long in Joburg"
Sihle:"just get better..sikhona we'll take care of them"

I smiled
He helped me with the luggage to the jet,we hugged then we departed.
I boarded ndahlala ndedwa pha until we got to Jo'burg, I didn't even communicate with my husband
ba ndisendleleni ngoku makayond'khawlela or send a car but I knew ndizofika ikhona imoto that's
waiting for me anyway if he's busy. When we landed Ntando was there to pick me up. I smiled faintly
as he walked towards me..he looked so darn good you'd swear he just returned from Mauritius. He
took my bag,hugged me with the free arm and kissed my cheek I blushed and took in his scent
through my nostrils. We kept that hug for a moment,he dropped the bag and hugged me with both
arms I melted,I held my tears coz I felt his heart bleeding with mine that very moment.

Me:"you smell great"

He chuckled and broke the hug,held my hand as we walked together to the awaiting car. I got in at
the back passenger seat,he followed right next to me then his driver drove us to his apartment. On
our way there we made a small conversation

Him:"how have you been"?

Me:"good...you"?
Him:"good... How are the pains"?
Me:"better now"
Him:"I'm sorry"

I smiled and just looked at my hands,he took them up to his lips and planted soft kisses on them. Lol
zinto azazelaphi ezi zophuzana nezandla? Those are white tendencies. After that I just went closer to
him and lay my head on his shoulder

Me:"so what time is the appointment"?

Him:"its at two"
Me:"I should have come ngo twelve kodwa"
Him:"ubungand'khumbuli kanti"?
Me:"but I left without seeing my babies coz bendibacingela bazond'khalela"
Him:"and I wanted to spend time with you before the appointment coz we don't know kuzothwani
kwa gqirha"

We had arrived at the apartment,got off and went to the house. I went to the kitchen while he went
to put my bag upstairs,I was kinda hungry for something sweet. I found a packet of chocolate
muffins,I boiled water for tea then he walked in and just watched me until I couldn't bare his eyes
anymore ndaguquka ndamjonga nam

Me:"you're starring"
Him:"you've lost some weight"
:( I shrugged
Me:"coffee or tea"?

He came forth and tried taking his cup from my firm grip
Him:"no ambohlala phantsi nd'zokwenzela"
Me:"hay babe"
Him:"pls let me"

I let go of the cup ndamshiya and went to sit down in the lounge,I knew it would come to this. I think
he felt responsible in someway so he was tryna appease the guilt,I took out my phone and called
Fatima

Her:"hello sisi"
Me:"hello ma,nd'hambe ngoku ngxama kusasa nd'cela undijongele abantwana andizobakho i
weekend yonke"
Her:"ebesendixelele u tamnci wabo sisi"
Me:"okay thank you"
Her:"bye bye"
My husband brought our coffees and chocolate muffins then sat next to me,I know my husband and
I knew that he wanted to reach out to me and maybe find out more about this AUB thing but I guess
I do understand that he too was afraid. And ontop of that,he still had to give me a brief explanation
as to why he was arrested,why Soso is involved in his business and why...

Me:"enkosi"
Him:"babe don't thank me"
Me:"so are you back for good"?
Him:"for now yes"
Me:"for now"?
He put his cup down,mine followed

Him:"I don't wanna talk about me..."

I was about to ask him what he wanted to talk about when he just lifted my chin and our lips met. I
closed my eyes coz I felt a sharp sting of tears pushing right behind my eyeballs... We held the kiss
for a full minute then his tongue pierced through my lips and explored my inner mouth as he pulled
me closer to him my hand touched his breastplate. As soon as we found each other,I let go of the
tears and he just kissed me more. This time around I cried ndanela,not because of any physical pain
but because he was here finally. Though he aint no doctor but him being here was enough for me. I
broke the kiss,he wiped the tears with the back of his hand and thumb. I breathed. Finally,now I had
hope.

Me:"yaz'bona uyand'lilisa babe"?

Him:"kodwa ndiyakosula"
Me:"liliswe nguwe kwak'qala"
He smiled

Him:"bendikukhumbula kodwa mfaz'wam"

Me:"ubukhunjulwa ndim,yho babe ingathi kuyaxokwa ba ubuye nyhani"
Him:"haibo"
Me:"ubuye nyhani mos Ntando,you're not just out because of this appointment neh"?
Him:"sizogoduka sobabini when you're in the clear with the doctor"

I just didn't know what to do with myself,I wasn't just happy I had joy deep in my heart. He gave me
a peck on the lips,I blushed,took my cup and muffins ndatya. When we were done eating he
returned the cups to the kitchen wabuya xand'siya e bathroom

Him:"uyaphi? U grand"?
Me:"bathroom"
Him:"need help"?
Me:"yeah...pls charge my tab"

Ndamshiya apho,uzand'nceda ngantoni e bathroom? Mnk. I came back efaka a movie,there were
chocolate eclairs on the coffee table and a blanket on the couch. I sat down and waited for him to
join me then we watched the Chipmunks: Shipwreck. I wasn't even watching le movie yakhe wethu
mna I just wanted to cuddle to him bendimkhumbula nyhani I just couldn't express it verbally but I
knew I wouldn't say no to being like this, in this very position for eternity with him. I fell asleep
esabukele...

.. Chuma was carrying a gun in one hand pointing at me and the other was pulling Owe from
Ntando's grip bethukana. I was just standing watching them,Owe was crying out for my help but I
didn't help him... I couldn't help him somehow I was paralyzed but my heart was torn and my eyes
were wet and messy with tears coz he was crying so painfully. I heard a gunshot but I didn't know
where it was shot until I felt something cut deep into my womb pearcing it to a point it felt like it
was tearing apart right that moment. I looked around coz I could smell blood very close,I felt
something cold in the bottom area of my body then I looked down and saw blood coming
out,streaming down my legs as if I'm having a miscarriage. I clutched my abdomen and fell on my
knees
...
I jolted up straight,my forehead sweating like crazy. He looked at me surprised

Him:"babe utheni"?

I removed the blanket and looked down at myself,now I could really smell blood so I quickly rushed
to the bathroom to change the sanitary towel and it was almost overflowing. I washed my hands and
returned to the lounge only bumping onto him at the stairs

Me:"uyaph' tatakhe"?
Him:"ndizokroba wena,utheni? Uright"?
Me:"ndiright man babe,I just need a cup of hot water with lemon"
Him:"u sure u right? And pls ungandifihleli just to protect me,tell me the truth u grand"?
Me:"ndi grand nyhani babe"

Wakhe wand'jonga then he took my hand and led me to the lounge ndahlala and waited for my hot
lemon water. He returned with the water ndaphunga in silence

Him:"we should get ready for the appointment zi to-one"

I was replaying the dream in my head all over again,just trying to make sure akhonto
ndiy'phazamayo or that I've skipped

Him:"Luthando"?
Me:"hm"?
Him:"phunga gou and get ready sizohamba"
Me:"oh"
Him:"ucingaphi? Did you have a bad dream"?
Me:"kinda"
Him:"wanna share"?
Me:"you'll think I'm crazy"
Him:"I've never thought you're crazy xa ubalisa amaphupha akho nje baby"
Me:"remember the blue Fortuner? I know You didn't believe me,it's cool though"
Him:"heee baby khaw'balise"
Me:"awuz'thandi 'zinto Ntando,yhini"!

He smiled and waited,I decided to narrate the dream to him exactly how I remembered it. He was
silent for a while,well I waited in silence too coz I wanted to hear his thoughts or understanding of
the dream...

Him:"so baby taking your dream into consideration there's a possibility that this AUB is not a
Western Medical issue...in your case"
Me:"yes"
Him:"but I don't understand kwenzeke njani"
Me:"how would you understand witchcraft tatakhe?"
Him:"why would she do that? How even? Hay man babe it doesn't add up"
Me:"wena babe shame you are the perfect example to the saying: men are slow"
Him:"atleast aw'thanga ndimuncu uthe slow"

Ndavela ndatyhafa,why did he bring that up mara? I didn't wanna laugh at him...

Me:"babe indiqale nini i AUB"?

Him:"wasn't it after you lost junior"?
Me:"andikho sure ncam yaz,but my uterus got injured ngoko...do you believe in witchcraft"?
Him:"I know it exists"
Me:"but do you believe in it"?
Him:"I think so...now,coz how do you explain yonke lento yenzeka kuwe"?
Me:"if you're accurate then it means she wanted me to not have a womb"
Him:"so that ungandizaleli"
Me:"umntanakhe azoba yindlalifa yezinto zakho,that was the plan kwangoku andiqengqa kweza
stairs"
Him:"tyhini ungcolile uChuma Luthando...haibo"

I shut myself ndizothi: oko ede wabonwa nanguwe. Ndaqond'ba mand'thule,she's not worth it. I got
up,went to put the cup in the kitchen then I went upstairs and took a quick shower ndabuya
ndalungisa for the doctor's appointment.

#385

When I was done with everything I took my medical documents and went downstairs to him

Me:"we can go"

Him:"do we have to? I mean..do you think it will help"?
Me:"I don't know tatakhe,but it's worth a try. I guess"
Him:"mmkay"

He grabbed his car keys,I followed right behind him. We locked and headed to the doctor...he was
awfully quiet.

Me:"xasibuya nd'cela siye ko Vince"

Him:"ufuna inyama or you miss Vincent"?
Me:"nd'funa inyama"
Him:"you don't miss Vince"?
Me:"nope"

He stole a sidelook at me and continued driving. We reached the doctors' office sakhe sahlala in the
car

Me:"you know its okay to admit when you're scared,right? It doesn't make you any less of a man
baby"
Him:"what if bafune ukukhupha isibeleko? Sizoy'thini lonto baby"?
Me:"it shouldn't be a problem kalok you have four kids already"
Him:"but you know I want more. With you"
Me:"haike"
Him:"babe why ingath' sewuyamkele nje lento ba ingenzeka nyhani"
Me:"you wouldn't last a day through these pains yayaz lonto"?

...
We spent a week in Joburg and I recieved medication for that entire week which made me feel
better,the doctor suggested I abstain from sex for a while which frustrated my husband. Being away
for an entire month and not getting some must have been frustrating but it's not like I had a choice
kutsho ugqirha ekhona. Our flight back home was scheduled for Saturday morning at ten,so I woke
up at eight kuba ndizolungisa but he was fast asleep... After I had bathed I woke him up

Him:"hm"?
Me:"asihambi kanti"?
Him:"oh"

He sat up rubbing his eyes,he stretched his body.

Him:"I forgot to tell you,masihambe Monday late"

Me:"what? And what about my kids"?
Him:"baby calm down kuse k'sasa"
Me:"ca- "

I sat down,feeling defeated. I missed my sons so much it hurt,but I didn't wanna throw a tantrum so
early in the morning ndathula though I was upset.

Him:"pls don't be upset"

Me:"I'm not upset"

I exhaled,got up from the bed and went to my bag ndakhupha impahla ndanxiba.

Him:"baby"
Me:"hm"
Him:"please"

I ignored him,when I was done I left him there ndayozenzela ukutya. I made enough for the both of
us but only dished up for myself,if he's hungry he'll do the same. It wasn't long before I heard his
footsteps down the stairs then they faded as he went to the kitchen. On his return,I got a private
call...even caller ID recognized it as a private call:

Me:"hello"
Him:"S'bongile,u right"?
Me:"I'm good,you"?
Him:"surviving,uthetha no Sam"
Me:"oh,how can I help you"
Him:"I'm in Port Elizabeth,can we meet for lunch"?
Me:"unfortunately I'm not around,why do you want us to meet"?
Him:"I just have a bone to pick with you,when will you be back"?
Me:"Tuesday"
Him:"oh okay,we can meet then"
Me:"sure"

He hung up
I put my phone down and continued eating,my husband was right next to me eating his own food.
Funny enough he wasn't as busy with his phones as he normally would be,I don't know whether they
were lying low or he really wanted to focus on me. When I was done eating I left him there and went
upstairs to fetch his laptop I had to check my emails kuyo,on my way out of the room his tab rang so
ndajika nday'thatha...the screen had a Nomsa written in small letters
Me:"Ntando's phone good morning"
Her:"hey,can I speak to Ntando"?
Me:"pls call him in the next three to five minutes"
Her:"alright thanks"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and returned downstairs,I gave him his phone then I got busy in his laptop

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"tatakhe"
Him:"undiqumbele"?
Me:"why"?
Him:"come on ba-"

The phone rang again,I stole a look at him and noticed a hint of anxiety as he hesitated for a couple
of seconds whether he should answer the call right here or not answer it at all

Him:"hello"
Her:"haibo unqabile"
Him:"I've been preoccupied"
Her:"so when am I seeing you"?
Him:"I don't know for certain,but next week I'll be returning to PE with my wife"

That sentence punched Nomsa deep in her belly,getting romantically involved with a married man
had its perks but it was frustrating as hell when you had to listen to responses such as these.

Her:"I know I'm not that important to you okay? You don't have to rub it in"
Him:"was there anything else you wanted to talk about"?
Her:"... I just miss you. I miss you,I know I can't compare myself with her..."
Him:"I'm glad you understand that"
Her:"but baby I'm human,ontop of that I'm a woman. A woman with needs,and right now I need
you. My entire body is going crazy craving for your kisses,touches,bites"

I stole a look at him,he looked constipated. I'm a woman,I just knew that the Nomsa was either an ex
I never knew about or she was a knew fling. I continued with my work..

Him:"unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that. I'm sorry"

Her:"...okay"
Him:"sharp"

He hung up
Took his tray and went to the kitchen then he went upstairs passing with a kiss on my cheek as he
passed me. When I was done with work I returned his laptop upstairs,he was in the shower so I just
walked out back to the lounge and dialed Kuhle...
A woman answered up the call

Her:"Kuhle's phone hello"

Me:"hi my dear,nd'cela uthetha no Kuhle"
Her:"who's this"?
Me:"that's not really important"
Her:"and you calling my boyfriend so early in the morning is? I don't think so"

Heee!
Me:"nontombi,uphi u Kuhle"?
Her:"uyavasa"
Me:"ogqiba kwakhe tell him to call me back"
Her:"mmh"

I hung up and prayed to God while dialing Sihle ibekanti uKuhle lo akangenisanga lento
ingenambheko kwam,slept with her in my sheets,eating my food!

Him:"mamekhaya"
Me:"uncle Sish,u right"?
Him:"tired mtchana,you"?
Me:"I'm okay,just missing my kids. How are they"?
Him:"they were fine izolo when I spoke to them,but I haven't called them today"
Me:"wait...kanti where are you"?
Him:"ndise Durban,had an urgent business meeting to attend yesterday,an onsite inspection today
then ndiyabuya tomorrow"
Me:"tjo,so abantwana bam are left with Fats only"?
Him:"ukhona nje u Kay"
Me:"you mean you left him back in PE"?
Him:"yep,try calling him coz u Fats ebengumntu ozayo thenga i groceries today so inoba akekho"

I cursed under my breath...

Me:"alright then,goodluck with work"

Him:"shap shap"

I called Kuhle again...

Her:"usavasa uKay"
Me:"please take the phone to him"
Her:"haibo,since when are phones water resistant"?
Me:"since Xperia,now take the phone to Kuhle"
Her:"yhu u rude shame"

I wasn't about to argue with her,I heard shuffled sounds then water,then their voices vaguely and
then Kuhle took the phone athi cwaka amanzi

Kuhle:"hey Mama we young kings"

Me:"uphi"?
Kuhle:"ndilapha endlini wh-"
Me:"Kuhle ungenise inkazana kwam? With my kids around?"

I heard him pulling in some air...

Me:"uyamazi u Sino unjani,I don't even wanna mention Owentando. Uzophendula uthini when they
tell their dad you came with your girlfriend endlini"?
Kuhle:"they didn't see her,I sneaked her in sebelele"
Me:"so that justifies it? Pls do me a favour,before you sneak her out again avase yonke lonto ikulo
bed"
Kuhle:"you do know that I'm a grown man,right"?
Me:"and you'll remain a grown man ude uyofa but what you did is disrespectful to me and to your
brother. And to make it worse ayinambheko nalento yakho,how do I know she's not walking around
my house half-naked"?
Kuhle:"oh Luthando breathe,yhini nge haba k'sasa kanje! Can't a man have some fun la ekhaya? And
besides,we're here to assist you that doesn't mean we have to completely abandon our own lives
and suck up to you.Asizona iingane phela that you can permit or not permit to do nomayini"
Me:"okay"
Kuhle:"I d-"

I hung up and called Mo on my way to the bedroom,Ntando was finishing up making up the bed..

Mo:"Mrs"?
Me:"hey,nd'cela uzondithatha I need to go home"
Mo:"ebethe u-"
Me:"I know what he said but pls come and fetch me,I'm begging you"
Mo:"okay Mrs,ndilapha e Jozi nam...singahamba in the next hour"
Me:"thank you so much"

I hung up ndapakisha
After I had closed my bag I realised oko uNtando ebendijongile

Me:"what"?
Him:"I thought we're leaving Monday"
Me:"no you can stay behind I don't mind,but ndiyahamba mna"
Him:"st- why"?
Me:"my kids need me and uncle Sihle is in Durban"
Him:"ukhona u Fatima no Kuhle nje Luthando"
Me:"just count Kuhle out,yes ukhona u Fats but right now use Greenacres to buy groceries. Xa uSihle
engekho how is she going to cope with four kids,and they have to go to church ngomso"
Him:"what has Kuhle done Luthando"?
Me:"nothing"
Him:"Luthando"

I took my bag and went to the lounge,being the only woman in my house (besides Fats ofcoz) I can
be very careless with my belongings,especially jewellery. In my mind ndizipheka ndizophula ba what
if she sees my diamond ear studs awathathe coz ase lounge. Very accessible and very expensive.
Ntando found me changing the slippers I had on for sneakers. He paced around then sat down...
Just then,Kuhle called me back. I checked the screen and ignored him,raising suspicion from Ntando

Him:"you're not answering that"?

Me:"nope"

He took my phone,saw his brother's name and looked at me before answering

Him:"Kuhle"
Kuhle:"bhuti hi,bend'cela unike u Mrs i phone pls"
Him:"she's busy,I can take a message"
Kuhle:"uhm...its okay,I'll call her again later on"
Him:"mmh"

He hung up and gave me back my phone

Me:"pls take me to the airport"

Him:"not before you tell me what's going between the two of you"
Me:"Okay,I'll call a cab"
Him:"babe don't... I just wanna know kwenzeka ntoni"
Me:"okay here's what I think: I think we should release them,yes they have been of great help no
doubt about that but they have lives in Durban and now that you're out...why are we keeping
them"?

He just looked deep into my eyes without saying a word,I wasn't about to tell him that his brother
sneaked in a woman into our home that had our four kids. He'll have to find out on his own.
...

"what the fuck is this"?

Oh well,we arrived home and Kuhle's girlfriend was in his shirt,in my kitchen.

#386

She looked at us for a few minutes without saying a word

Ntando dropped our bags dramatically,his eyes scrutinizing her

Him:"who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my house? In my kitchen? Half-
naked"?
Her:"I'm Miranda... I uhm,I'm with Kay"

Just then Kuhle came down the stairs fully dressed

Kuhle:"baby ndiyabuya ngoku pls check on the ki- oh,bhuti. You guys are back"
Him:"uphelele apho"?
Kuhle:"erh..."
Him:"one week Kuhle. One lousy fucken week kungekhomntu to guard you and you bring a fucken
bitch into my home? With my kids around? Where's your respect huh"?
Kuhle:"I didn't know nizobuya namhlanje,you said to me nibuya Monday"
Him:"oh so you thought you should bring a bitch kwam Kuhle"?
Kuhle:"bhuti with all due respect don't call her a bitch. Pls"

That was my que

I grabbed my bag and left them standing there awkwardly,I heard a 'mxm' probably from Ntando
then he followed me with his bags. I just put mine in the room and went to check on my kids in their
room but they weren't there,I went downstairs and found Kuhle no Miranda wakhe in the lounge
with his head bowed.
Me:"where are the kids"?
He lifted is head

Kuhle:"at the back"

Me:"thanks"

I turned to walk out

Kuhle:"you know you didn't have to tell him"

Me:"didn't have to tell what to who"?
Kuhle:"are we gonna play dumb now? I know you told him that's the only explanation why he
changed his mind about Monday"?
Me:"wh-"
Kuhle:"cummon Tee! Mxm,yaz I should have known kwalandlela ubuthetha ngayo on the phone ba
nizofika"
Me:"oh,so ibi rongo indlela ebendithetha ngayo? Phez'koba ndiphendulwe i rubbish ngu Miranda
wakho okwam phofu"?
Randa:"hay kaloku khange uzichaze nawe ukuba ungubani"
Me:"yi rubbish kwale uyithethayo,xa uphendula iphone engeyoyakho ubanembheko noba
ubungenayo kakade uyayiqweba. Uz'qonde umuncu uyaz'veza ubu insecure bakho"
Kuhle:"Sukuthi uthetha i rubbish umntu wam kalok,uyamthuka ngoku"
Me:"mxm,I don't have the energy for this. Miranda,ogqiba kwakho whatever it is that you're doing
uvase la bedding benilele ngayo"
Randa:"akho anti kanti apha babe"?
Me:"uzam'bhatala u anti sisi"?
Kuhle:"hay suka man sizozivasa,yintoni wa acter like a jealous ex ngoku Trina?"
Me:"uya-"
"you might be a man Kuhle and her brother-inlaw but you don't get to disrespect my wife like that.
Not in my house. If you wanna be a bitch,fokofa ngoku"!

Waxhuma u Kuhle,his eyes wandered between me and his brother. I could tell he was throat dry...

Kuhle:"I'm so-"
Ntando:"ungakulinge uxoke ngo nyori! Awukho nyori tu don't even fake it,Hey wena voetsek
ambonxiba"

Miranda grew springs and disappeared to the guest room. I attempted to walk out to my kids when
Ntando held my hand

Ntando:"Kuhle"
Kuhle:"ndiyaxolisa nyhani bro"
Ntando:"Kuhle"
Kuhle:"bhuti"
Ntando:"this is MY wife,okay? I am the only MAN permitted to raise voice at her. Ukuba yindoda
kwakho doesn't make you a man nakuye,s'yavana"?
Kuhle:"ewe bhuti"
Ntando:"ndingaphindi nd'kuve ke. Never again"

I loosened my hand from him and walked out,went to my kids at the back.

Me:"hey guys"
They were building sand castles,the minute my voice registered to their minds they dropped
everything and came running to me I knelt down and hugged all of them at once

Uve:"mamam apuya wena"

Uba:"mamam akhumbuli wena Uba yakho"
Sino:"ubuyile utata mama"?
Owe:"mama wena wahamba without telling us"?
Me:"I missed you guys"

The twins kissed me at the same time,we got up and went inside. Ntando was having a chilled
conversation with his brother in the lounge,Miranda was nowhere to be seen. The kids ran to their
father,I found an empty couch ndahlala just watching them...

Kuhle:"Tee I'm re-" My phone rang :p

Me:"KB"?
Him:"Mrs Ntabeni,how are you"?
Me:"you remembered huh"
His laughter echoed through the phone speaker
Him:"once burnt,twice shy"
Me:"I see,anyway I'm good. How are you"
Him:"I'm great,I don't know whether I miss you too much or what but I think I saw you in Joburg
yesterday"
Me:"me? Where"?
Him:"Sandton sqaure"
Now my laughter filled the room I saw hubby lift up his head wand'jonga,I continued as if I didn't see
him

Me:"you most probably saw me"

Him:"hau Sibo,why udlala ama tricks manje? was it you or was it not"?
Me:"it was me Kabelo"
Him:"wheee mah! And you didn't even pop in to say hi"?
Me:"I'm sorry man,I knew I wasn't gonna be in Jozi for long. Even now I'm back home"
Him:"that means we can have lunch"
Me:"you're in PE"?
Him:"yep,Legal Wise orientation week"
Me:"heee u Kabelo! So what happened to lecturing"?
Him:"it's still on kaloku,a man's gotta hustle I've got a family to feed"
Me:"mmh I see"
Him:"so...the lunch"?

I stole a look at Ntando and caught him stealing a look at me ndahleka

Me:"you know my husband will kill you,right"?
Him:"I know he doesn't like me"
Me:"mmh,I'll text you the address just now"
Him:"thank you"
...

The kids had to return to East London,the uncles to Durban and Ntando... I don't know. What I know
is that I was returning to work,my boutiques were doing great. Libhongo turned out to be a
great,hardworking and loyal asset

Me:"I need you to do a task for me"

Libo:"oh-kay"
Me:"do the finishing touches,tie up loose ends kulo mtshato my sister is getting married in a week
and I don't have time"
I gave her my planning diary
Libo:"what about my work"?
Me:"you should know how to multitask,you're a woman. But,the wedding takes priority"
Libo:"okay,let me get on with it"
Me:"thank you"

She left my office,I continued with work. My phone beeped,it was that Zambia line again
Me:"hello"
Him:"mntase I need your help"
Me:"with what"?
Him:"aw'kho kude ku ta Beast"?

Just then,my door flung open and dear hubby walked in with lunch and a bunch of fresh white lillies
Me:"ha.a"
Ntando put the lunch on the table,came around to gimme a kiss and the flowers..

Him:"nd'cela umnike i phone...heh,the last time you told me you guys divorced nje"
Me:"so,uzobona abantwana bakhe"
Him:"ooh"

I gave Ntando my phone. He looked at the screen then back to me,I saw a glimpse of irritation in his
left eye and his jaws tightened

Ntando:"yah"
Gudda:"sho ta Beast ndim Ayabonga bro"
Ntando:"Ayabonga waphi?"
Gudda:"u Gudda grootman"
Ntando:"ooh,nyana ka Ta Bongz. Z'khiphani"?
Gudda:"nd'cela uthethe nalamajita o Amos grootman,they don't wanna let me go nd'funa ugoduka
mna"
Ntando:"oo Amos baphi na kwedini"?
Gudda:"u Amos bro,la jita yase Mbia iku supplier nge machines"
Ntando:"u Amos Nkwaie usebenzela idyan'yakho nje. We cut ties with him the day your dad
returned"
Gudda:"utata? Hay man. Ha.a bro aw'phazami"?
Ntando:"call Ranger ubuze kuye,or better yet,call your dad"

He hung up and kept my phone with him.

...
We decided to use my house for the mini white wedding because it was just for close family and
friends then the traditional was already organized by the Chief's people. They had a beach wedding
then my backyard was used as the reception,Fatima helped out Lauren with watching the kids then
the ladies from my restaurant delt with the catering. There were so many unfamiliar faces already
taking their positions at the back...
I had picked clothes for my husband and two sons and left them on the bed while I went to check on
everything else and they were bathing. When I came back,the boys were dressed. Ntando wasn't...

Me:"awunxibi"?
Him:"I just wanna clothes I'm comfortable in"
Me:"being"?

He showed me,I just rolled my eyes at him. I wasn't in the best energy to argue ngempahla...
Ndanxiba ndamshiya and went to attend to the guests
"haha haibo,I got a special invite kalok. Ask your boss"
I froze.
Andimazi lomntu but the voice seemed quite a bit too familiar.

387
With everyone in my backyard,strangers to say,I didn't see no privacy as much as I'd have prefered
to have some. I would have suggested that my wife book an entirely differently venue for the
wedding reception but Eve being Eve would have bit my head off. And,I like being in her good
books :Dshe's one helluva sister in-law.
"ta Beast we have a problem"

I snapped out of my wondering mind and looked at Ranger...

Me:"we have a problem? eBhayi? What kinda problem are you talking about"?
Him:"the kinda problem you don't want,Nomsa is here"
Me:"what"?
Him:"u Nomsa ulapha"
Me:"ndikuvile man Ranger! uthi u Nomsa ulapha? Ufuna ntoni apha"?
Him:"uthi she got a special invitation from you nje grootman"
Me:"uphambene lomntana! Where's my wife"?
Him:"I don't know,last time I checked she was busy with the guests"
Me:"find Nomsa umkhuphe apha"
Him:"uhamba ne friends zakhe ta"
Me:"kengoku akaphumi x'ehamba ne friends"?

I had to find my wife before she turns this wedding upside down in havoc. I left Ranger and went
looking for Lu,I found her. Laughing with Nomsa and her three friends. Damn!
That very same moment I remembered the day Nomsa called me ndisendlini and Lu picked the call
wazondinika,now one thing I know for sure is that my wife aint stupid. I swear my heart stopped
beating for a minute,to contain myself I had to put on a 'Beast mask' to hide my anxiety coz I know
Nomsa can be a fucken loose mouth AND my wife can read a closed book.
Damn LLB!

Lisa:"aaah,and here comes the Beast man"

Me:"Ladies..."
Lisa:"uzifihlephi na ngwenya? we just met your lovely wife"
Akho:"ufika ndincoma emfazini wakho you guys have a beautiful home"

Me:"thank you,now can I steal my wife for a few minutes"?

Nomsa:"mh,you sure do have a beautiful wife ta Beast. She's indeed... Be-u-tiful"
Lisa:"and d-u-tiful"
Akho:"hay yi jumpcase wabamba i jackpot bossman"
All this while Luthando just looked straight into my eyes as if searching for something,I faked a smile
and took Luthando by the arm and led her inside the house.

Lu:"ungand'yeka ngoku"
My mind was racing,tryna think of something... lies to utter when she corners me ngalo mntana...
Lu:"baby..."
Me:"hm"?
Lu:"let go of my arm"
Me:"oh sorry mamakhe"

I let go of her arm and we went straight to our room,closing the door behind us

Lu:"okay,what's up"?
Me:"what's up? With what"?
Lu:"uh-uh Ntando,don't tell me undithathe ebantwini just for nothing"
Me:"say it again"
Lu:"say what again"?
Me:"the way you say my name babe,khaw'phinde again..."

She rolled her eyes and turned to walk back out of the room

Me:"is it a sin to want a few minutes with my wife"?

Lu:"at such a busy time though"?
Me:"well it's not my fault that some things can't wait"
Lu:"some things? Things like wh-"?

I took two steps towards her and took her lips to mine biting the corners,I pushed her towards the
door and locked it as I pinned her onto it. I heard her let out a soft cry as my body smashed on hers
and as my hands pulled up her dress,tongues colliding she let out a moan. I felt her melting at my
touches as I kissed and bit down her naple neck,within a few seconds her dress flew across the room
followed by my t-shirt.
I lifted her off the ground easily,she wrapped her ever shaved,soft,beautiful legs around my waist as
I took her to bed and continued with what I started.
I stopped and looked down at her beautiful face with sexy eyes and inviting lips

Me:"I love you"

She smiled but in her eyes I saw a glimpse of uncertainity ,mistrust and that broke my heart.
Lu:"how much?"
Me:"huh"?
Lu:"how much do you love me? And don't tell me kakhulu,that's not the answer I'm looking for"

I kept the gaze as I registered what she just said..

Me:"with my life"

She pulled my neck down and we resumed,as I took her to myself we both forgot about the guests
downstairs. Her moans,cries of ecstacy, sounds of pleasure were music to my ears...
I know how much she loves foreplay so as much as my rock hard erection was killing me,I wanted to
pleasure her first so I went down on her. It wasn't long when I felt her muscles flexing,her breathing
shallowing and her throat-moans deepening. A couple of licks,bites and blows I set her off to an
awesome climax.
I didn't even give her enough time to gather her strength and steady her breathing,I just took control
and owned her.

Lu:"faster baby"
I'm sure she didn't realise that came out as a whisper...
Lu:"Oh My God! I'm gonna..."
Me:"yhima babe..."
Lu:"I c-c-c- aaah fuck! Baby I'm gonna cum"!
Me:"ndilinde baby..."
Lu:"it's so...oh God! So damn...mmmh holy Jesus"!

With her eyes rolled back,back arched and toes curled I felt her nails sinking deep into my muscled
back I knew that she was about to let go so I went faster and faster and then I took one last stride
and went deeper as her entire body shook to orgasm. I followed right after her...
You know sometimes I wished Luthando was a country girl? Nje. Coz then if she was,ebengazo
cingana na contraceptives especially with me being away from home for months. Meaning,
everytime we had mind blowing sex like this one I'd know for sure that ukhulelwe,but owam umfazi
ucwangcisa ngoku ayaziyo ba andizobuya inyanga yonke.

Lu:"you broke the doctors rules"

I kissed her moist smiling lips
Me:"you mean WE broke the doctors rules ne baby"?
Lu:"nope,you did. So if that demon returns uyaz'ba it's your fault"
Me:"it won't. Relax"

Again,I lowered my head and met her succulant lips and closed my eyes as we kept the kiss for a few
seconds then she took the lead... Until her phone rang,ndamthathela ndamnika

Lu:"Keri,what's up"?
Keri:"hey I've been looking for you. Where are you"?
Lu:"I uhm... I'm coming right now. Are you still at the back"?
Keri:"no I'm in the kitchen"
Lu:"okay,I'll be right there"

She hung up and got off the bed,ran to the shower...

Me:"ndiyeza ndizok'ncedisa"
Lu:"ha.a babe hlala apho pls"

...

I took a quick shower,got dressed and rushed down the stairs to Keri in the kitchen

Me:"big sis"
Her:"where have you been? I need help around here"

Well...
I wasn't about to tell my big sister about my shaggy business. I helped her with serving and I was my
free self until I noticed some weird stares from the girls who were inside including Lisa and Akho but
even then I didn't read much into it until we finished serving people ndathatha ukutya for my
husband and walked towards the stairs

Lisa:"don't be loud this time around"

Me:"excuse me"?
Akho:"we uhm,heard you and your husband"
Me:"heard us? When"?
Lisa:"uhm... When you were uhm..."
Akho:"...bedroom noises"

Yho
The embarassment I felt that moment I'm sure my face was red...
But then again,I know akhonto ivakalayo down here with my room upstairs so how the hell did they
hear me?

Akho:"there's no need to be embarrassed about it"

Me:"uh-uh babe,I'm not one bit embarrassed...but I'd like to know,what were you doing upstairs
that very same moment"

They exchanged looks

Me:"what? You're tongue-cut now? Benisenzani up there in the first place coz I know damn well that
akuvakali nothing from there ulapha"
Lisa:"we were uhm..looking for..."
Akho:"we were looking for the bathroom"
Me:"the one behind you,as in right now"?

They turned and looked at the bathroom then slowly turned back to look at me,I chuckled and
walked up to my room. My husband was in the shower,I put his food down next to the bed and
opened the security lock on his phone ndakhuphela la number ka Nomsa. Ntando must think I'm
stupid...yes I don't know the real deal with him and this Nomsa but my gut never lies and I know how
much he hates accusations whether they are true or not,ku Ntando funeka uze with a full story AND
proof.

#388

Nomsa called... Ndisalinde u Ntando agqibe uvasa

Me:"Nomsa"
Silence...
Her:"oh hi...uhm,sorry this must be a wrong number"
Me:"yeah right,I'll tell Ntando you called. Or better yet,I'll tell him to go find you among the guests
downstairs"
Her:"no no no,it's totally fine Mrs uhm... Ntabeni"
Me:"it should be Sibongile to you,or call me Trinalique. Nomsa"

She went dead silent

Me:"was there anything else"?

Her:"no ma'am"
Me:"mmright"

I cut the call and crossed my legs waiting for my husband to retreat from the shower booth,while
waiting I went through his phone. He came out with a towel wrapped around his waist,I saw a sense
of shock in his eye when he realised that it was his phone in my hand.

Him:"you're back for more"?

Me:"ha! You wish,I brought you food"
Him:"and you have my phone in your hands"
Me:"unento oyifihlayo kuyo mhlaw'mbi"?
Him:"nope. Akhonto intsha"
Me:"mmh,then you should call Nomsa kwa ngoku coz ndihamba nayo"
Him:"call Nomsa"?
Me:"yep,ugqibo ku founela just now"

I handed him the phone and watched his eyes as he took it,I knew that deep down he didn't wanna
return Nomsa's phone call but he was going to. Because he knew I wanted him to,and
langqondwana yakhe wanted to prove to me that he's not hiding anything. I watched him redial...

Nomsa:"hello"
Him:"you called"
Nomsa:"oh I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have. I hope andikufakanga ngxakini"
Him:"what can I do for you"?
Nomsa:"Ranger says you ordered him to chase us out"
Him:"and"?
Nomsa:"haibo,we are guests here like the other people"
Him:"I still don't get why you called me,talk to Ranger or call my PA"
Nomsa:"oh bu-"

He hung up and gave me the phone again

Me:"I never knew you have a female friend"

Him:"I don't..."
Me:"Nomsa"?
Him:"she's not a friend,maybe a potential business partner but definitely not a friend"
Me:"hahaha! Business partner? Wow"
Him:"why uy'hleka lento"?
Me:"she just doesn't strike me as a businesswoman... Or wait,lemme guess: she's from Cape Town.
Right"?
Him:"erh...yes"
Me:"that explains it now"
Him:"explains what"?

I chuckled,kissed him on the lips ndamshiya apho. So I guess he was selling me the idea that she was
a business associate of some sort? Mnk. I went back downstairs and mingled with the guests,I
vaguely noticed Ranger driving out with three women. Lisa,Nomsa and Akho. How convenient of
him.
...
The guests have returned to their homes,Eve and her family left and so did everyone else. I was left
mending my house...
My husband was still around :o akaqheleki ke xa ekhona oko coz mna andizongaphangeli ngenxa
yakhe meaning he had to be a house-husband :) and a nanny to his children because I gave Fatima
a leave akhe ayobona abantwana bakhe even if it's just two weeks.

Two weeks after the wedding I went for a check-up,without my husband. The doctor declared me
cured :D but emphasized that I should finish up the rest of the treatment then I booked a
papsmear appointment and returned home ndafika u Ntando edlala i football with his sons at the
back

Me:"molweeeni"
Uba:"umamaam"
Uve:"hay umamam Uba"

Their dad passed me the ball beza bebaleka I returned it back to him they did the same thing,this
environment was most certainly relaxing but I wasn't gonna play football ndizenzele imikhinkqi ndi
unfit kaloku. I sat down,crossed my legs and just watched them. They were enjoying this moment,I
was enjoying it too until they decided to join me on the lawn,their dad kissed me on the lips four
times

Him:"we missed you"

Me:"really? Ngoku ningathi nonwabile ngaphandle kwam"
Him:"Uba tell mommy we missed her"
Uba:"mommy 'e missed you"
Uve:"we"
Uba:"thula Uve n'thetha no mamam"
Uve:"suthi Uve kum,ithi Young King"
Uba:"hay ma-"
Me:"come kiss mommy,both of y'all young kings"
They came to kiss me and sat right infront of me playing with my face

Him:"we went to check on you at work"

Me:"should've called"
Him:"ubuyephi ke"?
Me:"I took a short flight to Jo'burg,if benitshilo ngesihambe sonke"
Him:"so Mo was here"?
Me:"yep"
Him:"and he didn't even mention it"
Me:"he also doesn't mention it to me naxa ezohamba nawe nje"
Him:"because I'm his boss,he reports to me baby"
Me:"hay wethu khaw'yeke omnye. He must have forgotten to mention it,and besides.. I'm sure
nawe khange umbuze ba uphi"
Him:"aw'samthetheleli"

I just smiled...

Me:"abakusokolisanga aba"?
Him:"hm.mh...besides being hyper-active"
Me:"good thing you're fit"
Him:"band'faka e gym'ini ngenkani abantwana bakho"
Me:"tell me 'bout it...uphindela nini eKapa babe"?
Him:"I dunno,why"?
Me:"just asking"
Him:"am I suffocating your space"?
Me:"ha.a babe,it's actually nice having you around isdala"

He kissed my neck

Him:"really"?
Me:"really. I meant to ask you,what are we doing ngo December"?
Him:"I'm not sure. You know I'm seldom home during that time"
Me:"oh"
Him:"but if I'm around,we can do whatever you want"
Me:"I uhm,I've been saving up some money so I wanna go away for a retreat"
Him:"alone"?
Me:"maybe"
Him:"how about I talk to makhulu agcine abantwana then we can go together"?
Me:"babe there's a high possibility uzaw'be ungekho,you don't really have to go with me"
Him:"come on baby,I want to"
Me:"mmmh,I'll book for the both of us ke and send you the invoice or we can split it"
Him:"book and send me the invoice babe"
Me:"alright then"

After playing with the kids for about thirty minutes we went back inside the house and chilled on the
couch. Cuddled.
...

After four and a half month ehlala nathi u husband he had to return back to Cape Town,we
accompanied him to the airport

Uba:"tatam abuya nini wena hok"?

Uve:"tatam suwamba,akhumbuya thina"
Him:"ndizobuya ndoda,just protect mommy for me. Okay"?
Both:"e.e tatam"
O.o udlala ngabantwana bam uNtando,how will they protect me?

He touched my naturaly blushed cheeks...

Him:"suqumba kalok mntu wam"

Me:"izoba nkulu kakhulu ngoku landlu"

He bent down and kissed me,I responded. My heart was holding tight onto him,I was suddenly
hurting. Emotionally. I don't know why.

Him:"I'll be back before you know it. Cummon,put up a smile for your Beast"
Me:"puh-leez! Beast wobubhanxa. Now get outta my hair,get lost"

He laughed as he kissed all three of us then boarded the PJ,we drove back home in silence.
Two weeks later...
Fatima was back,I woke up on a rainy Thursday morning and I just knew I had to go down to Cape
Town immediately. I dialed Mo,he agreed to fetch me in two hours yho ndaxhuma and ran to the
bathroom,showered and took a handbag packing one extra outfit and mini toiletries. Oh an latex
gloves. Three hours later I was in Cape Town. I took a cab to Ntando's place and Ivor wasn't
around,so when I got to the house I took Range Rover's keys and drove myself to his flat. The one
Anelisa left Sino in. I opened the door with my own key and immediately felt sick by a woman's over
induldged perfume...
I went straight to the bedroom and found three pieces of evidence:
1. Gold neckpiece
2. Comb with hair
3. Bra
..and my husband's black t-shirt next to the bed. Not just any t-shirt,the Thuglife t-shirt I bought him
uqala kwethu le relationship.
I put on my latex gloves,put the evidence inside a plastic bag then I went to the kitchen and found
mythlated spirit along with matchsticks ndaya nazo to the bedroom. I poured it on almost
everything,set it alight,locked it and got into that black Rover. I drove back to his house,the evidence
in my bag. As I drove in,I saw an unfamiliar car in the parking lot so I just went to the underground
parking and parked my husband's car ndaphuma emotweni ndangena endlini and surprise,surprise...

Me:"how can I help you"?

She dropped her two phones in shock,one broke a screen. I don't know about the other...

Her:"uhm...hi"
Me:"I asked you a question,Nomsa"
Her:"uhm...Mr Ntabeni sent me to uhm...fetch a file,in his erh..."
Me:"drop the act marara coz you and I both know that you're his side-dish"
Her:"I'm sorry..."
Me:"did he buy you that car"?
Her:"ha.a sis-"
Me:"what did he promise you? Or it's you? You enjoy the D huh? You love being second best"?
Her:"I think I should le-"
Me:"honey shut the fuck up and listen to me. Carefully"

I heard her swallow saliva down her dry throat...

Me:"I don't care how you met him,what he promised you or what you give to him but what I do care
about is my household and I'm not gonna sit around and be made stupid by the two of you. Woman
to woman,I understand that he's the culprit in this mess but wife to side chick I wanna blow your
fucken mind off right now,pity the guns are upstairs and behind you kanti ke I don't wanna be
messy. Now do yourself a favour honey udlalele ferr ku Ntando,block his number,eintlik do whatever
you can to stay out of his way or next time you see me I won't be so nice."

I went upstairs to the bedroom,removed all the bedding and bathtowels ndazikhupha phandle and
burnt them phambi komnyango. Ogqiba kwam I took a cab ndabuyela e airport,on my way I heard
and saw fire brigade sirens. Maybe they were going to the flat,maybe not. Mongezi was patiently
waiting...

Me:"pls take me to Jo'burg"

Mo:"yes ma'am"
:)
Was I ever in Cape Town? Nope,I don't remember.

#389

When we landed in Jo'burg I went to the cockpit

Me:"we never went to Cape Town,okay?"

Mo:"Madam"?
Me:"if anyone asks,you took me from Port Elizabeth and brought me straight here. Correct"?
Mo:"Correct"
Me:"thank you"

I got off,called a cab and went straight to the ShisaNyama. Immediately I got off I knew
balapha,parking lot ibimnyama nje and I told myself andisoze ndijikiswe ngabo. A waitor showed me
a table I made my order and waited for a soda so long. I took out my phone and called KB...

KB:"Now this is a nice surprise"

Me:"aha! How busy are you"?
KB:"for you? Not at all busy"
Me:"good,can you pick me up at the ShisaNyama in an hour or less"?
KB:"You're in Jo'burg"?
Me:"just arrived"
KB:"alright,I'll be there in 45"
Me:"thank you"

When I looked up,Vincent had brought my food. I didn't even fake a smile as he put the server down
before me

Me:"thank you"
Vince:"uth' u bro umlinde or um'touch'e xa uhamba uzohamba nawe"
Me:"mxelele ebengazanga nam apha"
He half-bowed and left.
I ate my meat,kuncibilika nes'gqukru esi emqaleni yile nyama.
"you look beautiful,as always"
I looked up,there was Ntando with his entourage standing right across my table.
He came to kiss my cheek,I let him.

Him:"it's a sin for a beautiful woman to eat alone,ulapha for how long I'd like to join you"
Me:"not for long,I'm actually waiting for someone"
Him:"someone we know"?
Me:"yep and,he's here. Pls settle the bill and tip the waitor"

I got up,took my bag and kissed his cheek then I strut my way to the exit wasole ejika pha u Kabelo.
We got into his car

KB:"where are we going to"?

Me:"I don't know,just...drive"

He stole a look at me and drove in silence,ten minutes later my phone rang I just ignored it yade
yayeka. Again,it rang nday'faka ku silent

KB:"I think you should answer them or him"

Me:"I don't want to,that's the problem"
KB:"my friend,try to want to because they are following us"

I looked at the rear view mirror and sighed. Now my tablet rang,ndazincama ndamphendula...

Me:"baby"?
Him:"uyaphi"?
Me:"excuse me"?
Him:"uyaphi Luthando"?
Me:"haibo what kinda question is that"?
Him:"yintoni enzima ukuphendula lento ndiy'buzayo"?
Me:"suba yi bully Ntando"
Him:"what"?
Me:"you are in Jo'burg doing whatever it is you're doing ndikwazi useKapa mna,nd'cela undiyeke ke I
have my own business to mind"

He hung up
I could hear anger in his voice. I took a deep breath

KB:"Everything okay"?
Me:"pls find space undothule bro,I don't wanna put your life at risk"
KB:"he doesn't intimedate me,if you're in trouble then I'd rather put my life at risk"
Me:"Kabelo..."
KB:"I know he doesn't like me,that's nothing new. Relax"

He drove on,within a blink of an eye I looked at the mirror outside my door and saw Ntando's car
right behind us and he was driving. I looked on the other side and there was Ranger fast
approaching,I wished I was driving coz their plan was to get us in the middle of their two cars...

Me:"try to overtake these two cars then after that truck pullover. They tryna corner us"
KB:"Ayt"
Just as Ranger was approaching,KB did exactly what I told him to do... Ntando called again

Me:"hm"?
Him:"tell this guy to pullover"
Me:"we were pulling over anyway"

I hung up,took out my gun from the handbag nday'faka emqolo and got out of the car,I told a
shocked Kabelo to stay put I'll handle Ntando. His two cars parked right behind us
waphuma,Range,Bullet and Tulz followed

Him:"uthi uyaphi nalentwana"?

Me:"I have some business to take care of"
Him:"with him"?
Me:"he has a car,andina moto ihlala e Jo'burg mna"
Him:"Ranger khaw'khuphe lentwana uze nayo apha kum"
Me:"Ranger take net another step uzoz'sola"
They all looked at me...surprised.

Him:"uthini"?
Me:"what business do you have with KB"?
Him:"heh,Ranger ndithe iza nalentwana"
Me:"net nje Ranger..."
Him:"baby don't try my patience. Please"
Me:"can I go now? Besides lendawo ndiya kuyo I have somewhere else to be before the end of today
and time is not on my side"
Him:"then take one of my cars ke"
Me:"standing here in the middle of Johannesburg with you is a risk alone,I don't wanna add
unneccessary pursuit. No thanks"

The guys mumbled something ndabajonga,my eyes met Bullet's ndaphinda ndajonga i king yabo

Me:"heh Ntando,kanti isn't Bullet supposed to be in Port Elizabeth? Gaurding my home"?

Him:"ikhona into ebendimfunela yona apha"
Me:"and I was never told"
Him:"because I knew ni safe,and besides,akazolala apha"
Me:"caba oko uthe watshutshisa amabhantinti emjiva ziya reporter ngoku ezi enemies zakho
xazizayo? Umntu nguwe"

I looked him straight in the burning eyes as he searched my own eyes for something I don't know of.

Me:"I guess we're done here"

I walked back into KB's car and he drove us to a park. We got out and walked to an empty
bench,sakhe sahlala in silent...

KB:"okay...now tell me what's going on. Why are you going around with a gun"?
Me:"it's a long story. I'm sorry if I scared you"
KB:"we have time..."
Me:"he's cheating on me. Again"
KB:"I'm sorry"
Me:"am I not enough? Don't I satisfy him? Am I doing something wrong"?
KB:"hey hey hey,you are enough. Okay? You are enough,he's just a bustard"
I wiped a tear
Me:"a bustard that I love with my life Kabelo"
KB:"Come here"

He hugged me and just let me cry until I had calmed down then we went to buy icecreame sakhe
sahlala pha just chilling. I got a call from Ntando -_- I rejected it. Ranger called,Tulz called and then
lastly Bullet called me two times ndaz'ncama

Me:"Bullet"
Him:"sho iyabuza i grootman uhamba z'khathini?"
Me:"yho hay khanindiyeke guys. Hambani indlela yenu please"

I heard the phone exchange hands,ndeva kwa uphefumla oku ba ngu hubby ngoku ozothetha

Him:"Mo will be leaving Jo'burg at three and akaphinde abuye so ugoduka nini"
Me:"when I'm done doing what I came here to do"
Him:"time frame"?
Me:"andiyazi ke...why nizihlupha ngam bethuna? Ndiyayazi indlela egodukayo"
Him:"andizokushiya Rhawutini Luthando"
Me:"bona ke mawuthini but just stop bothering me,you did whatever you came here to do in peace
ungaphazanyiswa mntu. And futhuzi andingomntwana mandingabinavalo rhoqo kukhala le phone"
Him:"heh"!
Me:"ugqibile"?
Him:"mxm"

He hung up.
Later on KB went to buy take away dinner for me then wayondibeka emnyango kwi apartment ka
Ntando. We hugged then ndambulela for listening to my whining imini yonke engadikwa,after he left
ndangena endlini. Went to warm my dinner,went upstairs to change the bedding. I can never be too
sure ba awekho na alala nawo apha amankazana...after that ndatya,locked the door,switched off my
phones then ndayolala.
Past three am I was woken up yi sound ye shower,I sat up in bed and put on the bedside lamp and
looked around. I only saw his phone,I went downstairs and made myself ginger tea ndaphindela
ebedroom ndafika ephumile ebathroom. I got in bed and drank my tea in silence as he lotioned his
body

Him:"flat yam itshe yaphela eKapa"

I kept quiet...
Him:"ne mpahla yam along with the bedding at the apartment"
Me:"mh"

He stopped lotioning,turned and looked at me.

Him:"I know you didn't have anything to do with that"

Me:"mh"
Him:"but a little birdie told me you were in Cape Town today"
Me:"who"?
Him:"who told me"?
Me:"no,who was in Cape Town"?
Him:"you"
Me:"xeshani"?
Him:"you tell me"
Me:"so you mean to tell me that uthekwana akakuxelelanga"?
Him:"this isn't funny mamakhe"
Me:"am I laughing"?

I heard him grunting under his breath,I just continued drinking my tea as if akekho kwaphamb'kwam.
When I was done I returned the cup to the kitchen nd'phole apha ku mind. Just as I closed the
door,his phone rang and it was nearer to me than to him nday'thatha nday'phendula ndimjonge
straight emehlweni

Me:"Nomsa"
She hung up
Me:"Rhaaa"!
I dialed her again,just as it was ringing he grabbed the phone yaphuncuka yawa but it didn't break.
Me:"wenzani kengoku"?
Him:"I believe that's my phone"
Me:"kengoku"?
I took the phone and dialed her back
"umbuzile about the fire baby?what did she say"?
I was looking at Ntando,instead of being remorseful he was just growing angrier and angrier
Her:"baby...are you there"?
Me:"phendula Ntando uyathetha u baby wakho"
Him:"khasapha le phone"
Her:"oh shit"!
Him:"Luthando gimme my damn phone"
Me:"you mean your fucken phone,neh? And while you at it,rather call me Sibongile man"
Him:"I won't repeat myself"
Me:"you don't need to"

I threw that damn phone on the wall so hard it broke apart,ndeva ngempama eshushu I didn't even
flinch. I went to the other phones on the dressing table and smashed all of them to pieces. By all of
them I mean even the businesse phones,ndayothatha i hammer from the bathroom ndazibetha zayi
powder.He just stood there and watched me,his eyes turning blood red...
I was unleashing the Beast from deep inside him,and I was ready for him.

390

I went downstairs and took a bowl ndabutha la powder yeza phones ndambekela pha phezu kwe
dressing table.

Me:"baby nazi ii phone zakho ke vha"

I had the hammer in my hand,pacing up and down the room my own anger was escalating.

Him:"Luthando"
Me:"nd'cela uthule Ntando mfethu"
Him:"Luthando"
Me:"haike fokof"
Him:"Luthando"
Me:"FUCK O-"
I felt another slap ndacimela,this one was powered by anger. My head was spinning in circles for a
moment ndakhe ndema trying to compose myself,when I had composed myself ndamjonga
ndamhleka. I just laughed.

Me:"yaz uyinja Ntando? Do you know that? Wena,You? You are a dog. D.O.G dog my man. Dog. Nja"
Him:"will you shut up"?
Me:"No Ntando I won't,I will not shut up. Enza kengoku lento ingathi ungayenza"
Him:"Luthando... Do not. Do not test me. Please. Do yourself a favour and shut the fuck up. Okay"?
Me:"uphambene! Yazi uphambene Ntando? Ummo lowakho ucing'ba ndiyibhofolo yakho neh?
Mntaka Z'khali uyabona namhlanje? Utsho phantsi isitya sigcwele. Yaz'uphambene? Heee"

He kept quiet for a second then with a loud roar he punched the mirror on the door of the closet. I
didn't waist no time I followed suit,took the hammer and smashed the mirror on the dressing table
wothuka

Him:"what the fuck was that for"?

Me:"why the fuck did you punch the closest mirror"?
Him:"Luthando don't fuck with me"
Me:"we have Nomsa to do that or ulibele"
Ndatsho ndigqibezela la mirror yathi saa phantsi kwashiyeka iplanga lodwa. I proceeded and
smashed every mirror in that house,ndaqala e bathroom ndabuya ndazogqibezela ezishiyekileyo kula
bedroom and that's where he got a chance and sprung on me exactly like a Beast would on
prey,wand'krwitsha. I cried but those weren't tears of pain,they were tears of anger,disappointment
and betrayal. I just closed my eyes and and dug my nails on his flesh yangathi akeva niks ndamfaka
amazinyo on his wrists since they were closer to my lips...ndamluma ndaliva liphuma igazi but I just
went deeper and deeper. He dropped me and threw me onto the bed. I wiped my eyes ndohlika..

Me:"hahaha heheee so now you're not just a dog? Uyi bitch. Injakazi. Kuthen' uyi coward nje
Ntando? Xa ukruqukile ndim itsho man ndikukhwelele you're not the only man outhere you know?
Vula umlomo lona wakho,grow a spine and be a fucken man undixelele that you've had enough of
me. I want to hear you say it,kuthen wandenzela intwez'phantsi ngoku? Yaz...mxm,even a gay man
iyakodlula ngoba yindoda? Usisiyoyoyo and an excuse of a man NTANDO NTABENI you are a disgrace
to men. Ndingumntwanakho I'd be ashamed to call you my father and you know what? Ikamva lakho
limfiliba kwedini... Uyaw'ze undikhangele ngenyimini just for ucela uxolo for being an incompetent
husband. S'trubob"!
Him:"khawuthule LUTHANDO NTABENI"
Me:"DON'T YOU FUCKEN DARE RAISE YOUR BITCHY VOICE AT ME"!
Him:"Luthando I'll fucken fuck you up,yeka lento uyenzayo"

I sat on the bedside lampost and watched him

Me:"what is it that she has that I don't"?

He didn't answer me...
Me:"okay masimyeke u Nomsa nabanye coz ndi sure she's not the only salad kule plate yakho ke
neh,tell me yintoni le ndingayenziyo uy'funayo? What exactly is that doesn't satisfy you apha kum?
Don't I meet the standards of your required 'dream' woman? Or Am I just too cold for you?"
Him:"baby pls"
Me:"don't baby me pls. This is no time for that,just tell me. Answer me,please"

He sat down with his head between his hands...solemn.

Him:"you're enough okay,you're perfect. You're more than perfect"
Me:"but I'm not enough for you,right? I'm just not perfect enough for you? Right"
Him:"bab-"
Me:"I SAID DO NOT FUCKEN BABY ME MAN,RUBBISH"!
Him:"I'm sorry"
Me:"fuck you"
Him:"Lu I'm sorry. I don't have an explanation or anything else to say to you but I'm sorry"
Me:"umuncu kodwa wena shame"
Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"ndingu S'bongile kuwe Ntando. You don't deserve to call me mamakhe,baby or Luthando.
Njengalamankazana wakho anesibindi songena aphelele kwam,ufana nawo nqwa! Just call me
SIBONGILE. Ndiva kamnandi kanye xa ndibizwa ngelo,atleast andina sazela lelam. Andilibolekwanga
kokwenu,zeliphinde lixuthwe xa uze nonontroyi omtsha "

After a moment of silence I got up with my hammer and went to the kitchen,I broke every
glass,plate,cup,window,mirror...anything breakable. I broke it to pieces. I unlocked the door and
went to the parking lot,I smashed the hell out of his Range Rover Evoque to a point one would doubt
yakhe yakhona i windscreen or windows infact. I slit his tyres zadlakadlaka in an instant kwabotyoka
kwa rim le yentsimbi. I shook the car unyusa i diesel,returned back inside ndagubhulula the entire
kitchen. I found an unused 20L of generator petrol ndaphuma nayo,I poured all over and around the
car. Then set it alight...
Went back inside ndaqala in the kitchen and poured that same petrol,went to each and every room
ndagqibela nge bedroom sagilana emnyango

Him:"Lu kutheni kunuka umlilo"?

Me:"umane undothuka ke xandisithi umuncu"

He swore under his breath and ran past me right after we heard a blasting sound,I continued with
what I was doing. Went to the safe and took his ID's and other important documents ndaz'faka kwi
bag yam then I took the bag and my shoes ndaphuma ndishiya sekuvutha. I set the apartment on
fire,abanye nabanye bayozibonela. Again we bumped onto each other,but now at the main door. He
was going back inside the burning house,I was leavin the burning house.
I knew just from the look in his eyes that he couldn't believe what was happening,maybe
ebefunyenwe yilanto ukhe ubawele umntu akutswebe just so you can be sure you're not dreaming.
Him:"what are you doing? Lu what about the tenants around the apartment? My things inside"?
Me:"honey,calm down okay? Uzoba ne high-high usemncinci. Now be smart,prove to me that you're
indeed smart and call Ranger,tell him to bring a car"

With that being said,I locked the door to the burning apartment ndathi chu ubheka kwi parking
area...he followed

Him:"how the fuck am I su-"

Me:"mind your language"
Him:"ba- Lu,how am I supposed to call anyone when you smashed all my phones"?
Me:"so you're proving me right? U.M.U.N.C.U qha qwaba ayidingi remedy leyakho imeko.
Akunosebenza nempepho baby"

I sat down on the pavement,took out my phone and called Ranger... I doubt uyalala loh

Range:"Mrs"
Me:"khaw'khawuleze uze nemoto"
Range:"ulibonile ixesha? Is everything okay"?
Me:"mnk,i worry yam is that if you're not careful uzoba muncu nawe yaz. How can I call you
ngelixesha kanti everything is okay"?
Range:"okay I'll be right there"

I removed my slippers and wore my sneakers,phof ndinxibe PJ shorts and his oversized T-shirt now
with the sneakers on you'd think I'm going for a jog.
Hubby was quietly watching his car and apartment burn down to ashes,the students had apparently
called fire fighters but they were also pouring water buckets.I heard Ranger's tyres screech to a halt
ndaphakama ndamkhaw'lela coz uphume wabaleka weza kuthi leaving the car keys in the ignition

Range:"are you guys okay? Grootman? Tee? What happened? What started the fire"?
Me:"I have absolutely no idea but kuthwa ngu vutha"

He went to Ntando,I got in the car and drove off. I saw them running after me yangath' andibaboni,I
drove straight to the ShisaNyama. The main gate was locked so I got ontop of the car and jumped
over the fence,landing on my two feet I went straight to the kitchen and looked around. There were
gas stoves so ndavela ndazivula zonke and everything flameable then I went to the office ndathatha
all the important books ne laptop then I set everything else alight. Again I had to jump of to the
other side,after climbing the fence ofcoz.
I drove to the nearest fuel station and filled up the 20L with petrol,Right after that I went to
Ntando's precious baby. The club. I managed to sneak in at the back and went straight to his office,I
opened the safe using both our initials and last two numbers on our ID's as the security lock. I
removed four sealed brown leather briefcases,went to load them in the car then I went back in and
openee three more safes removing nine more briefcases. After that ndagalela la petrol everywhere
that I could ndashiya kuvutha amadangatyi.

It was already pretty close to daybreak,I drove myself to Sun International parked outside and got
underneath the car just to disconnect the tracker,when I was done I booked myself in,switched my
phones off again and took a well deserved nap.

391

After an hour I realised that I couldn't sleep,I searched my bag for painamols and drank four then
ndalala.

When I woke up about six to seven hours later I thought I was paranoid when I smelt his cologne in
the room. I sat up and looked around,and yeah,he was indeed in there with me. Leaning by the
door,watching me.
At first I was afraid coz owam umsindo uhlile ngoku,owakhe probably u worse kuna k'qala.

Me:"how did you get in here? And what are you doing here"?

He just watched me in silence,I looked around for a gown and when I saw it ndaphakama,wrapped it
around my body

I opened the door for him

Me:"nd'cela uphume"

He just extended his hand towards my hand on the door knob wabuya nocango,keeping eye contact.
Okay. I wasn't about to argue naye so early,I hadn't even brushed my teeth ndaya e bathroom. I did
my business ndaphuma sehleli on the edge of the bed
Me:"ufuna ntoni apha Ntando"?
Him:"you"
Me:"eshe,imuncu kelento uy'phendulayo. Ufunamna xabekusuke kwathini"?

He removed his shoes ethe cwaka,wakhulula ne skipa. Atleast he had a vest underneath

Me:"uh-uh,wenzani ngoku? Ntando ha.ana bro uzothini apha. Ude ukhulule"?

Him:"ndize kuwe mos"
Me:"uzothini kum? Sulandelelana nam I aint your property mfondini khaw'nxibe uhambe"
Him:"but you're my wife,right"?
Me:"well not for long"

He just got under the covers wazigquma,I went close and pulled the covers sajongana

Him:"babe not now,pls"

Me:"dude,you have all the money in the world. Get out of my bed,go book yourself another bed
elsewhere. Please. I need to be alone,I need to breathe fresh air"
Him:"I don't wanna be elsewhere,okay"
Me:"no it's not okay,I don't want to be with you. That's why I came here alone,don't you get it"?
Him:"no"
He saw the painamols,took two wasela ngalamanzi ebeshiywe ndim
He pulled the covers walala...

Me:"tyhini lendoda Mazangwa"

I stood there watching him

Me:"yaz nd'funa ndingakubulala Ntando,cut you into pieces,wrap you with these sheets and leave
you in this room"?
Him:"I know"
Me:"then why the fuck are you still here"?
Him:"khayeke baby torho"
Me:"andingo baby wakho mna"

He didn't respond to that,feeling a bit defeated I just took my phone,sat down ngasemnyango and
dialed Luke... Sive answered the phone

Her:"hey hey,it's been a long time. Unjani"?

Me:"hey,I'm okay. Is Luu around"?
Her:"erh yes,he's in the shower. I can take a message though"
Sniff...
Me:"no it's okay,I'll uhm..call him some other time"
Her:"are you sure you're alright"?
Me:"yeah I'm fine"
Her:"alright ke"

I hung up and just hugged my knees,it was only now that I felt the real hurtache. I just let my tears
flow,my heart was in pieces and him being here right now wasn't helping one bit. And ontop of that
instead of hating him,I still loved him. I was madly inlove with him,when he removed that t-shirt I
fought so hard with my hands not to touch him.... Even now,I was battling with myself and the urge
to join him in that bed
Thank God Luke returned my call as I was running myself a bubble bath,I soaked myself in and
answered his call

Me:"big bro"
Luu:"hey little one,hoe gaan dit"?
Me:"goed en jy"?
Luu:"lekker,my wife says you called"
I closed my eyes
Tears were painfully stinging through the sockets,I had a bitter lump in my throat...
Luu:"Trina"?
Me:"hm"?
Okay now I was literally crying,my voice on the other hand was really failing me

Luu:"you're crying,tell me what's going on"?

Me:"he...he doesn't love me anymore"
Luu:"who? Beast"?
Me:"yes him. Luke what is wrong with me? Am I really so hard to love? Please be honest with me,am
I unloveable"?
Luu:"Trina.."
Me:"I am,aren't I? I am unloveable"
Luu:"Sibongile Trinalique Smith stop it!Okay,just stop"!

That very moment I broke down,all the walls I built all these years came tumbling down

Luu:"baby,baby listen to me. I love you. We,your family loves you okay"
Me:"then why can't he love me Luu? Why is it so damn hard for him to love me"?
Him:"he loves you,I know he does. You too know very well that he does"
Me:"then... Then why is he cheating on me? If he loves me so much then why is he cheating on me.
Again?"

I heard him curse...

Luu:"I'm sorry"
Me:"Luu I wanna hate him so bad,but I can't. My heart is so damn stupid. How do you continuosly
love someone who doesn't love you back,some who doesn't value you or your relationship? Who
doesn't regard your feelings? Who doesn't appreciate you,respect you? How does that happen? Or
maybe I'm the stupid one. Yeah,maybe he never really loved me in the first place I was just too
damn naive to see it"
Luu:"Trina"
Me:"but I still love him. Why? Why am I so stupid though"?

He let me cry for a few minutes then I tried calming myself down...

Luu:"have you told Marcus"?

Me:"no,I can't. I won't"
Luu:"you have to tell him,I'm nations away there's nothing much I can do from here"
Me:"you listened,that's enough for me"
Luu:"Trina,tell Marc or I will"
Me:"no no no you won't. Marc will kill him"
Luu:"he deserves more than a lousy bullet,Marc should pull him by the collar and take him straight
to the pit of hell"
Me:"nee man Luke. I don't want him dead okay,don't you get it? I love him. He's my husband"
Luu:"HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU"

That hurt
I broke down,again. The water was growing cold now and my skin was becoming pale.

Luu:"where are you now"?

Me:"in Jo'burg"
Luu:"and the kids"?
Me:"PE"
Luu:"go back to your kids,ek wil sien om wat ek sal doen"
Me:"so lang jy wou nie Marcus vertel'ie"
Luu:"I won't"
Me:"belowe my Luke"
Luu:"I promise"

...

Vince,Ranger and Marcus were calling me nonstop but I wasn't gonna answer any of them. I didn't
have the energy for them even though I knew they most probably wanted to speak to their boss.

When I got tired of watching him sleep,I took out my phone and dialed la Nomsa. She didn't answer
my call for four consecutives times yhu ndambhalela i sms: "I don't wanna be obliged to come to
Cape Town just for you,so please be a lady and answer your phone"

I called her again,she answered on the first ring

Her:"Mrs Ntabeni I am so sorry,I don't know what came over me. I knew he was married but I kept
on pushing and pushing. Oh ndiyakucela torhwana,ndixo-"
Me:"will you shut up? Please"
Her:"sorry"
Me:"when did this thing begin"?
Her:"Mrs Nt-"
Me:"Nomsa"
Her:"it's a long story"
Me:"I have enough airtime"
She sighed

Her:"we met about three years ago at a business expo in New York,he was the guest business guru
and honorable speaker for that entire week. After the expo I passed him my business card and he
never called. Last year we met again at another business expo in Jo'burg and I asked his PA for his
business card then I uhm... I started calling him"
Me:"okay pause. What were you doing at my sister's wedding? In my house"?
Her:"the Chief is my uncle and I do business with his son"
Me:"holy crap,so Ntando sleeps with his brother-inlaw's cousin? Wow"
Her:"we aren't sleeping together Mrs Ntabeni,he's not a bad guy here. I am"
Me:"a gangsta is a bad guy honey and so is his wife now can you get to the point"?
Her:"okay uhm...after a couple of rejections from him I uhm... I offered him a business deal worth
fifteen billion rand"
Me:"in exchange to what"?
Her:"that he uhm..."
Me:"in exchange to sex"?
Her:"erh... Yeah,that"
Me:"so lemme get this right:you sold him business,for sex"?
She faked a cough...
Me:"and how are you different from a prostitute"?
Her:"I'm no hooker,okay. I just have my own way of doing business"
Me:"relax,you don't owe me any explanation. But tell me,how many times did he sleep with you"?
Her:"unfortunately once"
Me:"and when was that"?
Her:"the day I signed over the deal,before he went to PE about two months ago"

So ebanjwa nje ushiye i business-hooker yakhe ilindele a couple more rounds? What then,makes him
different from her? If he can sleep with her for business,how many other woman have fallen for him
for that same reason?

Me:"did you use protection"?

Her:"yes,look I'm sorry. I didn't intend to wreck your marriage"
Me:"don't apologize to me,apologize to him for because of his inability to control his appetite...he's
about to loose more than what that fifteen billion can ever buy"
Her:"Mrs Ntabeni plea-"
Me:"enjoy your miserable life Nomsa"

I hung up,got dressed ngezampahla bendiz'phethe for changing then I left him sleeping. He also
needed the rest,after everything that just happened his stress levels must be high.

#392

I went to pay for the room and his lunch incase he wakes up hungry then I told them to take it to the
room avuke ikhona then I took his car and drove myself to the airport. I saw his jet landing just as I
parked,I took all my things including the nine briefcases I had retrieved from the club and headed
towards the jet. His entire entourage from all over South Africa was exiting the jet ingathi zimbovane
ezimnyama zphuma under a rock,I got in without saying a word ndabeka kakuhle the brief cases and
went to get myself a glass of sweet red wine. When I turned around,Marcus was exiting the
bathroom wothuka weza kum. We hugged briefly then I sat down

Him:"what's going on"?

Me:"erh...nothing"
Him:"what's with the briefcases? Whose are they"?
Me:"they're mine,we're having trouble with the boutique's bank account"
Him:"oh,where's your husband? I've been trying to reach y'all without any success"
Me:"he's probably around,try calling Ranger. Last time I saw them they were together"
Him:"mmright,kiss the young kings for me"
Me:"will do. Bye"

He kissed my cheek and left,Mo close the jet up wand'jonga quizzically.

Me:"Port Elizabeth pls sir pilot"

Him:"yes ma'am"

When we landed I asked Mo to wait for Fatima uzamsa eMonti kumama,I called Bullet azond'thatha
e airport then on my got home I called my mother inlaw...
Her:"hello,makoti"?
Me:"hello mama,unjani"
Her:"siyaphila mntanam,unjani wena"?
Me:"ndiyaphila ma,u Mongezi uzaw'zisa u sis Fatima namhlanje to help you out around the house
and with the kids"
Her:"ooh,uzaw'za namawele"?
Me:"ha.a mama,we're going away for a while qha andfuni agoduke midmonth ayohlala e Rhawutini
engenamali"
Her:"ooh okay mntanam,hee,umyenakho oko bendimfounela izolo ndibona landlu yakhe iseKapa
ezindabeni isitsha. Qha akhange ndimfumane"
Me:"ooh,ezindabeni"?
Her:"ewe ibonwe ngabantwana,ngoku namhlanje ek'seni kubikwa omnye umlilo e Rhaw'tini. Kwi
dilesi ebiziweyo uthi u Owentando ikwayindlu kayise"
Me:"tjo akhange atsho ke mama,but I'll tell him to call you when he gets a chance"
Her:"okay ke mntanam,undphuzele apho wethu"
Me:"will do mama"

When we got to my house I told sis Fats to pack uya eMonti then I drove to the business building just
to properly leave people in charge. On my way home I got a call from Lwandiso...

Me:"babe"
Him:"Hey, unjani"?
Me:"I'm good Soso unjani wena"?
Him:"hay wethu andizazi,mamela neh,I need you to pack for you and the kids. Ask Mo to take you to
Jo'burg my dad's PJ will take you from there"

I kept quiet
It was clear even from his voice that he knew what had gone down. Luke. Yep,only Luke could have
called him.

Him:"are you listening to me"?

Me:"Luke told you"?
Him:"yes,and I know you probably don't wanna talk about it,I don't wanna talk about it too. Well for
now, so... Just do as I tell you man nditya ixesha lam lo lala futhi apha"
Me:"mmkay,so what's the timeframe for this traveling"?
Him:"erh,you must be in Jo'burg at five. I've spoke to my nigga already oh and please make sure you
remove your battery and sim from all your phones"
Me:"okay,thank you"
Him:"and please pack warmer clothes,it's quite chilly this side"
Me:"sure"
Him:"see you tomorrow then"
Me:"yhu,we'll the traveling through the entire night kanti"?
Him:"yep"

...
When I got home Fatima was almost ready,thank God my kids were bathed already I just changed
their clothes. I called the locksmith to change all my locks and electrical entrance codes for me and
samlinda wagqiba. While waiting,I hid eight of the briefcases in the basement then I took one. We're
gonna need money apho siyakhona and we're gonna spend daddy's money coz we don't have
money. Our money is for future purposes,he works hard for money so we spend his hard-earned
money and we save our own money. We wore matching brown cordroy pants,brown boots and
beige hoodies then I called Bullet again to come fetch all of us.

The drive to the airport was just too quiet,I gave Fatima R500 pocket money just incase she needs
anything while in East London before payday. We boarded together then we dropped her off,now
we went up to Jo'burg and it was to-four meaning we still had an hour before our hike
Once we landed I led my babies to Spur for a lil chow before we cross the boarders

Uba:"mamam"
Me:"baby wam"
Uba:"afuni tatam ma"
Uve:"mama thath'phone yakho afuni thetha no tata Uba"
Me:"your daddy has no phones,mommy smashed them"
Uba:"sambe ke siye kuye"
:o then I called Marcus..

Him:"Trina"
Uh-oh,He was upset
Either he heard about Ntando or he heard that I'm the one who destroyed the properties...

Me:"erhm...how far are you from ta Beast"?

Him:"he's right here"
Me:"can you pls uhm,lend him your phone? I wanna have a quick word with him"

I heard in the background the phone exchanging hands...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"niphi"?
Him:"we're in Pretoria,why"?
Me:"we're at Spur and we're leaving in an hour,if you're not busy,please come and uhm...see your
sons off"
Him:"okay"
Me:"sharp"

I hung up and we ordered...

Uve:"mamam mani"
Me:"uyeza u daddy wakho kalok baby"
Uba:"nyhani"?
Me:"nyhani,eat your food"

We ate in silence bezidlalela,I decided to call Kabelo shame. Just for a heads up..

KB:"Hey"
Me:"hey,how're you"?
KB:"I've been worried sick about you,unjani? Ukuphi? Kwenzakaleni at your house"?
Me:"I'm okay,relax"
Him:"okay where are you now"?
Me:"I'm at the airpor-"
KB:"I'm coming"
Me:"rather don't,my husband is on his way. He'll just go beserk if he sees you here"
KB:"I understand"
Me:"look,I'll call you when I've landed but relax I'm fine. Okay"
KB:"okay... Just be safe Trina please. Be safe"
Me:"I'll be safe KB. And thank you,for everything"
KB:"alright ke,I'll await for your call"
Me:"sharp"

We hung up
Thirty minutes before our flight I saw one black car parking sabe sesiphuma nathi kwa Spur,well I
must say I was glad that he came alone. Uve saw him first and let loose of my hand running to his
father,Uba did the same I was left alone in the middle of the parking area just watching them being
scooped up by their father. They walked towards me,laughing joyfully...

Him:"hey"
Me:"we have less than twenty minutes,use it wisely and spend it with them. I'll give you some
space"

I turned to walk away...

Him:"baby please don't..."

Me:"don't what"?
Him:"don't walk away please,can we just find a place to sit down and talk"?
Me:"I have nothing to say to you,but for the sake of your kids we can go to your car"
Him:"thank you"

He led the way to his car and got in at the back with the kids,I joined them in silence and just kept
my peace as his kids conversed with him

Him:"I'm sorry Luthando"

I just took my phone and texted Keri...

Him:"mamakhe"
Me:"S'bongile"
Him:"okay S'bo-,nd'cela uxolo babe. I know I've hurt you countless times,and I know you probably
hate me right now and I don't blame you. Kodwa mamakhe please,please find it in your heart to
forgive me"
Me:"nana,kiss daddy sesizohamba"
Uve:"come daddy"
Him:"baby ndiyakucela oyhini Mamzangwa,I know I love you with my entire life. Maybe I haven't
really shown you that,and yes I know I don't deserve you,I don't deserve your love or loyalty
anymore kodwa babe please don't leave me. You can go to a vacation baby just to get a chance to
think things over I'll pay for it noba iphi,as long as you will come back to me. To us,to our family"
Me:"ten minutes left"

Just then,the Titus private jet landed... I recieved a text asking my whereabouts. Good thing the jet
wasn't labelled so Ntando would have to guess or research,especially since it looked brand new.

Him:"Luthando ndiyakuthanda"
Me:"sometimes love aint enough,and that's our case"
Him:"please don't say that. Don't give up on me,on our marriage Lu"
Me:"we uhm... We have to go now,our hike is here"
Him:"Lu please.."
I got out of the car,he did too nabantwana bakhe. We walked towards the jet and stood at the
entrance while he kissed his sons then he let them go. I watched them go up the stairs inside the PJ
then I looked at their father

Him:"I love you,and when I'm done fixing these things here ndizobuya so we can fix our marriage"
Me:"work will always come first kuwe neh?"
Him:"people lost their jobs... I have to deal with that"
Me:"hm,and you're on the verge of loosing more than that. But,good luck with the fixing..."

He looked behind me at the jet I knew he wanted to ask qha akanasbindi. I took a step forward and
kissed his lips...then moved back

Me:"just be safe please and good luck neh"

Him:"I love you"

I turned and walked into the jet,the door closed and we took off to Portugal.

#393

The jet took off,Ntando must have bought a new phone ngoku bend'saye eBhayi and made a sim
swap coz he then sent a message:
"baby wam nd'cela uxolo ngento yonke especially the cheating part,nokuba ndingazama ngeyiphi
indlela it is still inexcusable I don't know where to begin ndlela le ilihlwili ngayo intliziyo yam and I do
realise and acknowledge that ndikumoshile ndakuhlukumeza ngokwe ntliziyo,psychologically nase
mphefumlweni maKhwalo ngoku kunzima andiyazi nokuba ndiqale ngaphi to show remorse.
Ndiyakucela mfazi wase maQocweni undixolele,ewe I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but
ndiyakucela sthandwa sam uzame ujonga deep into your heart and find this forgiveness I'm asking
for. I know it won't be easy,it's not easy for me kubek'selaphi kuwe? Mamakhe ndiyakuthanda
andixoki,andidlali,andikuqhathi ndikuthanda ngentliziyo yam yonke. I need you,I can't afford to loose
you but I will understand if you want time to think,I won't push but I want you to know that you are
the only woman for me. Please,even if you were considering it..please Lu don't leave. Uzobuya then
we'll fix this,I promise you we will fix it just like everything else we've been through. I love you
mamakhe,I really do. Be safe,and pray for me. Pray for us"
:(
Text sent me bawling...
At first I hardened my heart but as I was finishing it I couldn't hold my tears. Uyoze uhlale nomntu
iminyaka uthethela into enye abengathi uyeva aphinde olibala kwakho enze the same thing
ubumnqanda kuyo. When you reach the breaking point and snap, umntu kubengona az'bonayo ba
eberongo. Kungona ay'bonayo i value yakho ebomini bakhe...
I noticed that my young kings were painfully looking at me as if they were gonna help me cry so I
quickly wiped my tears and responded to the text

"pls try to call your mom,she's worried about you and she was asking your whereabouts"

Then I took my sons onto my lap and craddled them

Uve:"mama"
Me:"mh"?
Uve:"yalila wena? Utheni"?
Uba:"bethiw'utatam mamam"?
Me:"ha.a mntanam andilili mna and and'bethwenga ngu tatakho"
Uve:"uphumile iinyembezi elehlweni wena mama"
Uba:"xolo mama evha"?
Uve:"iza mamam a hug you"
^_^

When we landed I disconnected my phone yazi pieces,Soso was already there waiting for us then we
left for his apartment. He mixed warm water for me and the kids to freshen up then when we were
done we went to the lounge,he brought us food

Him:"before anything else,let us understand that Uncle Soso made this meal right? Good. So pls save
your nasty comments for later"
Me:"eshe"
Uba:"mama ban' lo"?
Me:"mbuze mntanam"
Uve:"u'bani wena"?
Soso:"heee,you guys grew up so fast? Now you don't know me"
Uba:"bani gama yakho kalok"

Uvelile took a good look at Lwandiso,smiled and looked at me

Uve:"Soso"?
Soso:"and then the light bulb went on"
Uba:"Soso"
Soso:"hay kaloku ithani uncle Soso"
Uba:"ha.a awu uncle wena"
Uve:"mama afun' tanci ma"
Uba:"ha.a mama afun' Sish'le ma,Soso wamazi u Sish'le"?
Soso:"heee,what's wrong with these kids"?
Uba:"ya'king"
Soso:"huh"?
Uve:"ithi ya'king"

Lwandiso looked at me confused...

Me:"they wanna be called Young Kings,zinto z'ka Sihle wethu"

Soso:"mnk mnk,and then xabengafuni ukuthi uncle Soso kuthwani"?
Uve:"Soso"
Me:"ngu malume ndoda"
Uve:"mama uthi ndoda"
Uba:"tatam uthi ndoda kum"
Soso:"avuka amarhamncwa e Portugal Nkos'enofefe"
Me:"don't start,pls"

After eating,he took us to our room sayolala as he left for work. The kids were worn out,the minute
we hit the bed they just zoned out and there I was...just watching them. They so damn reminded me
of their father. Yes they're identical twins but Uve took alot from his father maybe that's why
bethandana kangaka coz Uvelile can be quite moody when alot of time has passed engakhange
ambone or athethe with his dad,he doesn't look one bit like me atleast his brother took my lips and
ears but kuyafana nje everything else yeka tatabo though they both took my complexion. I kissed
'em both as they softly snored,Uve frowned in his sleep

Me:"I wonder yi attitude oy'thatha kuban' lena young king"

I covered them and just lay on my back thinking...
Now that I've cooled down I got to think about lento ndiy'shiye ndiyenzile kula South Africa :o I
realized that I destroyed the outcomes of his hard work of many years. I was starting to feel guilty
and bad about the fire but then I realized that my heart is worth more,atleast he has money to
rebuild the apartment,house,flat and club (it needed upgrading anyway) asinothetha ngemoto ke. Yi
breakfast kuye leyo. I'm worth much more than that,I know I am and he had to find himself akhe
azihlalise phantsi azibuze naye ba is he really worth having me? Our family? My heart is worth much
more,much much more.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him though :'( I missed him so much it hurt so bad. It felt like I
hadn't seen him in ages :( and kengoku even if I wanted to,I couldn't call him coz Soso left with my
phones. I just lay there reminiscing,weeping silently,tears escaping my eyes and finding hiding places
in my ears and eventually pillows...
Love is sweet and enjoyable but when it hurts,it hurts more than hell fire.
That text...in that text Ntando reminded me that I've relaxed quite a lot,I haven't prayed in a long
time but ndavuselela when he was arrested after that ndaphinda ndayeka. I know he prays,but for
him to ask me to pray for us kinda said a lot to me.
-
It had been exactly six days since my wife left,I sat in my car for what seemed like eternity,I had
watched her leave. I watched her get into that jet without even trying to stop her,without even
fighting for her. I didn't beg enough and now here I was moping around... My phone was ringing
nonstop but I had nothing to say to no one. Luthando has left,yintoni engenye now? What else could
be important?

I woke up and drove to the airport,maybe hoping to bump onto her but with no luck.After a couple
of hours in that airport parking area I just drove my car out of that place,I didn't really know where I
was going but I was driving. Somewhere I found a fuel station and stopped to fill up my car,then I
went inside the fresh stop and bought myself water and two cans of Play energy drink then I went
back to the car. I took my phone and dialed Lu's business phone,coz ebend'phonele kuyo last time
we spoke...

"you've reached Mrs Ntabeni,pls call my office or if it's urgent call my personal phone thank you"

I wasn't about to call her office nd'thethe no Libhongo tu,not today of all days. I just wanted to hear
her voice,even if the personal phone went straight to voicemail I knew I'd listen to it until the beep
at the end just to hear her voice.
I dialed her personal phone...
"Tee here..pls leave your name and number I'll get back to you"
-beep-
Me:"baby please neh kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo in your mind and in your heart,just consider the
fact that ndiyak'thanda. Mamzangwa,Khwalo,Ncuthu mfazi woo Jojo Z'khali B'tsolo bentonga... "

Ndavela ndane s'gqukru. I know I've killed many times without mercy,infact I've done alot of things
without considering the other person's feelings nor the consequences of whatever that may be. But
this? This was hard,this was more painful than any stab or bullet wound I've ever had to nurse. Ever
seen a man holding his tears,in the middle of the road to nowhere?

"...Baby... Please come home. I'm not rebuilding,buying or fixing anything until we fix us. Please
come home,I'll wait for you endlini. Your house phof',le iseBhayi. I'll wait for you there"
I hung up and put on Caiphus Semenya on the audio player ndaphephetheka,stopping once or twice
to either refill up the tank or check tyres. I just drove through the night and drove on until I stopped
e gate'ini ekhaya,ndothuka kancinci coz it wasn't my intention to come here. Ndizophendula ndithini
kumama? Koo Sino? As I was thinking of revving the car and maybe turn back,the gate opened and
there stood my mother with a welcoming smile. But as I drove in,towards her I saw a glint of worry
in her eyes as if she knows something already.

#394

I parked and got out of the car,she came to hug me then we went inside. I threw my body on the
couch feeling the weight on my shoulders,she came with two muffins and strong black coffee
waz'beka phamb'kwam. As she sat on the other couch,if a man feels inimba then I most certainly felt
inimba yakhe just ngokumjonga nje. Her eyes were filled with either worry or pain...and this time
around,there was nothing I could do about it. I on my own was defeated,in my own race,own
game,own home. I defeated myself. I let down myself,my wife...

Her:"itya ndoda,I'll run you a bath uvase ulale. You look tired"
Me:"I'm not hungry makhulu,but thank you. Baph' abantwana"?
Her:"bases'kolweni"
Me:"oh okay,andihlelanga ndicinga ngokuya eBhayi"
Her:"akhongxaki,but first eat,bath and rest. Luthando won't be happy seeing you like this"
Me:"makhulu andila-"
Her:"I'll run you a bath,ndbuye ugqibile uphunga"

Then she disappeared to my room on the west wing of the mansion. I don't remember that last time
I ate anything besides drinking these energy boosters and water,I knew very well that my stomach
will react but I had to eat just so she will find peace. When I was done I took the tray to the kitchen
and went to my room ndafika xa ephuma,she had really filled the bath,lay my PJs and gown on the
bed then wand'shiya. I locked the bathroom door,undressed and got in the warm scented
bubbles..this is something Lu enjoys the most. I remembered asking her why waste water by filling
up a bath instead of just showering for five minutes and she just said: you should try it some
time,those knots on your shoulders and back would melt like butter on hot bread.
I never took it seriously until now,I could feel my body relaxing,slowly I felt the tension minimising. I
took my phone,went through our pictures and mini videos. Even my wallpaper/screensaver was
her,Dp on all social media platforms was her and on some,with the kids. Somehow everything in this
phone screamed her name,I exhaled and checked on her again,still voicemail...

Me:"hey uhmm...ndiyanikhumbula mamakhe. Pls call me when you get this"

I finished bathing,drained the water and went to bed. I checked the drawers and found Panado
capsules I drugged myself with the unhealthy four,hoping maybe when I wake up this will all be a
dream. I closed the curtains ndalala...
I had nightmares emini...
I had to find my wife,even seeing life without her in a dream was scary. I didn't care about the
billions I lost or the billions I was about to use to rebuild the destroyed properties... I just wanted my
wife back. My family back. Even that fifteen bil' contract wasn't worth losing all of this.
I'm used to being away from home for months and not feel like this,but it has been just a week. One
sad long week and I missed them like crazy,I even missed our crazy fights,when at one time she
'mistakenly' pushed me off the bed. I'd do anything to have all of that,right now. Just to see her
trying hard to provoke me,take her up into my arms,sniff at her hair,smell her perfume,kiss her
neck,kiss her lips,kiss her forehead...make real love to her! I'd kill just to have a chance to do all of
that again...
-
When Luke called,Landile had told me what had occured in Cape Town so I knew very well that Tee
was behind it. The fires I mean. I was angry,boiling mad at ta Beast for cheating on her but deep
down I wasn't shocked. My own father has no problem leaving mom at home aye emankazaneni to a
point that she stopped a long time ago calling him to order about it. Hell,I knew some of these
women because of how close my dad and I are.
I was aware of how much Tee loved her husband,how easily she forgives him...hence I took every
phone in the house and hid it. I wanted her to heal properly,without feeling pressurized or guilty.
She needed time to really look at her life,currently and future wise abone ukuba where exactly is she
going,is he (Ta Beast) part and parcel of this journey or is he just a distraction? The sad part in all of
this was the kids... I took just one look at them and knew umntaka malume is gonna have a difficult
time not to think about him. The resemblance was just too much,I was already having difficulties
seperating and identifying who's who between the two.
When I got home,she was up and cooking :D

Me:"hey hey"
Her:"hey yourself"
Me:"you know you're on vacation,right"?
Her:"inoba sendise hotel ungatsho nje? Where do I order,ndilambile"
Me:"eshe. Sa-kha-zim yobubhanxa"
Her:"you know you missed my cooking"
Me:"hah,kanti ego is contagious? where are my nephews"?
Her:"balele"
Me:"haibo,oko bebelele? Are they okay? I hope they're not the sickly type egulayo xa ingekho
kowayo ke plz"
Her:"they are not used to traveling such long distances kaloku but they woke up three hours ago
batya then they slept again"
Me:"ooh,so what are we cooking"?
Her:"you aint cooking nun,pls pour me a glass of red wine the food will be ready in five minutes"
Me:"yes ma'am"

I poured her the wine,went to freshen up then went to check on the kids. They were cuddled up
together,so cute. On my way to the lounge,the big guy called...

Me:"ta Beast"
Him:"Titus,ugrand"?

I could hear the guy was messed up,now I got a bit worried...

Me:"ndi grand grootman,you don't sound too good. What's up"?

Him:"I'm cool my man,I'd like to know have you spoken to my wife lately"?

Tee must have guessed it judging by the way she looked at me,she was already eating in the lounge.
I took my food and joined her..

Me:"how late is lately"?

Him:"in this past week "
Me:"ha.a grootman"
Him:"u sure"?
Me:"ndi sure grootman,what's going on ta Beast"?
Him:"I uhm.. I was kinda hoping you'd have spoken with her"
Me:"have you tried calling her? When last did you talk to her"?
Him:"about a week ago,I've been trying to call her but all her phones are off"
Me:"did you guys fight"?
Him:"something like that,it's cool I'll try some of her siblings"
Me:"that's a good idea,nam ndizomzama"
Him:"shap"
Me:"sho grootman"

He hung up
I put my phone aside and dug in,my cousin sister cooked us a mean pap and red meat plus tendered
veggies stew. I was hoping she'd ask me about the call... But she didn't,she just continued eating and
her primary focus was the reality show playing on that big screen TV infront of us
:/
Me:"that was your husband"
Her:"I know"
Me:"he doesn't sound too good mntase"
Her:"he's not supposed to"
Me:"do you wanna maybe call him? Just to tell him you're safe"?
Her:"u grand mntase"?
Me:"heh,what do you mean ndi grand? Ndi right fondin"
Her:"oooh,I was begining to think ungenwe yi influenza virus"
Me:"what? Do I look sick? What are the symptoms"?
Her:"ukuthetha u apha-naphaya is one of the symptoms mntase"

I just burst into laughter

Me:"yaz usile... But on a serious note mntasekhaya,tell me what really went down between the two
of you"

She narrated everything,detail to the T and I could see she was still hurting.

Me:"so...will you divorce him? Well that's what he deserves,uthathe nabantwana into full custody
on top of that"
Her:"no I won't"
Me:"you won't? After yonke lento ugqiboy'balisa? You won't? Trina do you wanna die young"?
Her:"I know I'd be miserable my entire life if I divorced him Soso bro"
Me:"you're scared because of that "amagintsa awalahlwa" BS? I'd protect you from him though"
Her:"thank you,but no. And'moyiki uNtando Soso and I can most certainly handle him. Without an
ally"
Me:"then why can't you just divorce him and move on with your life nabantwana bakho? Here's a
fresh start"
Her:"because I still love him okay? Yes I may sound stupid right now but I don't really care because I
know he loves me as much and more than I ever could love him. Yes he cheated more than once,I
don't know why okay? But as much as I'm hurting,I can't ignore the fact that I'm so damn deeply
inlove with my husband"
Me:"hay sana,ay'ngangam xa inje! Ifuna inkunz'ebhokhwe emnyama ne sangoma sase Swazini"

She just downed her wine.

395

After three weeks in Portugal Lwandiso decided to give me my phones back,I spent half that day
listening to Ntando's cries and plea's. Mxm. I responded to my emails then called Marcus..he had left
tons of messages. As expected...

Him:"Hello"
Me:"hey,hoe gaan dit"?
Him:"lek-wag,Trina"?
Me:"yeah"
Him:"waar is jy? Ek het jou gebel hoekom het jy nie jou phone antwoordie? Waar is die kinders? Wat
het gebeur? Waar-?"
Me:"Marc I'm okay,relax"
Him:"relax? Trina it's been a month without a word from you! Keri wants to report you missing for
heavens sake"
Me:"it's only been three weeks"
Him:"jeerr Trina! Okay okay,where are you now"?
Me:"that's not important,I just wanted you to know I'm safe. That's all"
Him:"I'm coming to fetch you"
Me:"haikengok,bye bye"
Him:"hm"

I hung up and dialed Keri coz I knew Ntando would never call Eve,uzaw'qale ambuze ba bekutheni
k'qale ukuze angandazi ba ndiphi..

Keri:"hello"?
Me:"Keri,its me"
Keri:"Trina hey,where have you been"?
Me:"I'm out of the country,I just wanted to let you know I'm okay. There's no need to report me
missing"
Keri:"okay,you're okay where? Where are the kids? Why did you leave your home? What happened?
Why doesn't your husband know your whereabouts"?
Me:"...I don't know but I did tell him that we're going on vacation"
Keri:"vacation? At the middle of the month"?
Me:"I have to go now,I'll call you again tomorrow evening"
Keri:"Trinalique Smith where are you"?
Me:"I am on vacation Keri,I just told you"
Keri:"on vacation where Trina"?
Me:"haha haibo,why am I under interrogation? Am I not supposed to have a break"?
Keri:"why doesn't your husband know then"?
Me:"he knows,trust me"
Keri:"I hope you're not lying to me"
Me:"why would I lie to you"?
Keri:"I don't know,something just doesn't add up with y'all"
Me:"relax big sis,we're fine"
Keri:"Mmh,okay"
Me:"love you too"

I hung up and lay on my back with the boys eating gummy bears next to me,one good thing about
these phonecalls is that my phone was untraceable. Having been in another country I got to change
my number for a while and u Lwandiso wenze ii magics zakhe pha :p
Uve:"mamam"
Me:"my young king"
Uve:"I love you"
Uba:"I love you nam mamam"
Me:"I love you too much my babies"
Uve:"afuni tatam"
Me:"hahaha yho bendiy'qondile,uzomcholaphi utatakho ntwana yam"?
Uve:"sambe siye kuye kalok"
Me:"Uba do you also wanna go to daddy"?
Uba:"ha.a zohlal' uSoso ma"
Uve:"awufun' utata wena Uba"?
Uba:"ha.a zohlala ne Soso yam ma apha"
Uve:"ango Soso wakho lo Uba,hu Soso walapha ne mama"?
Me:"worry yam is that we aint going to daddy anytime soon,so Uvelile my son,you better get
comfortable"
Uve:"mama afuni tatam ma"
Me:"uright kaloku Uvelile"
Uve:"mamam"
Me:"Uve khand'yeke pls"

He started crying
Ubabalo just looked at me with confusion written all over his face then he continued eating his
gummy bears humming a soft tune,I wanted to laugh at how ignorant he looked at his brother. But
Uvelile cried even more,he even upped his volume sana umtana ka Ntando...
Soso called

Me:"uncle Soso"
Him:"hey,what should I br-wait,ukhalelani umntana"?
Me:"ufunu tatakhe"
Him:"must be Uve"
Me:"one and only"
Him:"khamshushuzele kalok he's gonna get a headache"
Me:"uyageza wethu Lwandiso lomntana,ubuzothini"?
Him:"I wanted to ask what should I bring for dinner"?
Me:"uhm...nothing"
Him:"nothing? Are you sure"?
Me:"absolutely,just make sure you come straight home qha wena"
Him:"oh okay"
Me:"sharp"
I was about to hang up when he spoke up

Him:"mntase.."
Me:"mh"?
Him:"I know you're pro'lly gonna swear at me for this,but I'll say it anyway"
Me:"I'm not calling Ntando,just so you know"
Him:"even for Uve"?
Me:"hay Soso"
Him:"u selfish. Just so you know"
Then he hung up on me,I threw my phone on the other end of the bed Uvelile crawled to it and
threw it on my face ndothuka ndamjonga he looked at me with his bottom lip sticking out...

Me:"why und'gibisela nge phone Uvelile Ntabeni"?

Uve:"xolo mama"
I took it and put it next to my head,he took it and gave it to me

Me:"Uve no"
Uve:"mamam call daddy"
Me:"I don't want to"
Uve:"mama p'ease"
Me:"lala baby,uyozela wena"
Uve:"a.ana mama afunu lala ma,afunu thetha ne tatam"
Uba:"silale mamam"
:v akulunganga nanku umntana!
I took the phone and dialed Ntando,put it on loud speaker just incase Ubabalo melts naye
afunuthetha no tatakhe.

Him:"hello"
O.o okay... Ntando never says 'hello' it's either uthi 'yah' or athi 'thetha' so this 'hello' thing caught
me off gaurd. I almost answered him...
And ontop of that He sounded :/ sick? I don't know,but he didn't sound like the man I know...and
quite frankly,love.

Him:"hello"?
Uve:"tatam? Tatam ellow? Uba athetha utatam apha ephone'ini ya mamam"!
The glow returned to his eyes instantly,he became the bubbly young king he usually is..
Him:"ndoda,hey unjani? Uphi u Ubabalo? Uph' mamakho yena"?
Watsho wadlamnka noyise...

Uve:"Uba come"
Uba:"lele ma Ube"
Him:"heee so you don't wanna speak to your daddy Ubabalo"?
Uba:"Uba miss you daddy,uphi wena daddy? "
Him:"I miss you even more young king, ndilapha kwa makhulu. Uphi wena ndizokuthatha"?
Uve:"abuya nini wena tatam"?
Him:"I'm waiting for you guys to come back with mommy,then I'll come home too"
Uba:"tatam asobuya thina"
Ooh good Lord! I held my teeth :o they were gonna tell him where we were :(
Him:"then come fetch daddy singabuyi sonke ndoda"
Uve:"Uba ya mma tatam sobuya thina"
Him:"where's mommy"?
Uba:"hanku"
Him:"can you give her the phone"?
I just closed my eyes...
I didn't want to hear more of his lies just yet

Uve:"hayumama! Jonga umama Ya'lalisa Uba"

Uba:"umamam ulele tatam"
Him:"it's okay. When she wakes up nimxelele that I love her,and I'm sorry"
Uba:"I love you daddy"
Uve:"love you tatam"
Him:"love you too sons"

I took my phone and hung up. Ndabajonga.

Uve:"hee wena mamam wa'lalisa hoku tatam afuna uthetha nawe"

Uba:"uth' tatam I love you kuwe mamam"
Me:"okay"
Uba:"ith' I love you too kutatam kalok mamam nawe"
Me:"I don't want to,now lets get dressed we're going out with uncle Soso"
Uve:"mamam"
Me:"ha.a Uvelile don't start with me pls"
Uve:"uth' utatam I love you kuwe nje mamam"
Me:"I know"
Uve:"am'phonele and say I love you too kuye"
Me:"and'funi,phakama ndik'nxibise"
Uve:"afuni nam"
Me:"ubumuncu ke buyosulela mntanam,ungakulinge ufuze into engakhiyo"

He sulked
I took out their clothes ndanxibisa u Ubabalo first then attempted to dress Uve who just toyi-toyi'd
against me. I left him like that ndanxiba mna, Soso returned from work and Uve was still in a foul
mood. Soso tried playing with him,was'ke wasitsho isikhalo esinzima sajongana

Him:"ohkay,utheni ke ngoku xa enje"?

Me:"uyageza and odikwa kwam ndizombetha mna"
Him:"utheni young King"?
Uve:"funutatam ma Soso"
Me:"uphambene kengoku"
Him:"khange ude umfounise na umntana"?
Me:"I did,khanxibe bro s'hambeni"
Him:"uyalila nje umntana ndizonxiba njani? Uve utheni ndoda? Uba uthen umntanakokwenu"?
Me:"u Uve uzayicutha ingqondo yakho ibengangeyakhe if you're not careful"
Soso sat on the bed and took Uve to his lap laying his head on his chest until he was quiet but now
he had some sort of hiccups

Him:"what did she do to you young king"?

Uba:"mama ka mbethanga Soso"
Him:"then why are you crying Veve"?
Uve:"mamam kafuni kuthi I love you ku tatam"

Soso looked at me wahleka,I just shook my head coz I told him Uvelile will make his mind as small as
his.

Him:"but boy that's none of your business nje,are you really crying because of that"?
Uve:"mamam yena kafunu thetha e phone'inini netatam. Ya'lalisa"
Soso waphela yintsini...

Me:"pls dress each other up,we are eating out"

Uve:"mamam"
Me:"hay Uvelile wethu"
Soso waqhaqhatheka yintsini once again,I wasn't about to entertain Uvelile tu shame. I left for the
kitchen and ate an apple in waiting for them to finish up coz we were about to hit the town red with
daddy's money.

396

We got dressed and left the house,I really wanted us to just eat out and have a bit of a
breather,most importantly I wanted my babies to experience a bit of freedom. I didn't want them to
feel like I'm taking out my problems and strain on them,they were used to having fun and being
outdoors especially when daddy's around. One thing that was an inconvenience kwa Soso was the
background, there was no play ground. Which made it difficult for them to play outside. Lwandiso
took us to some child friendly restaurant, after that we went to play games then when the kids were
tired of playing we went back home. I tucked them in bed,changed into PJs then I went to join uncle
Soso in the lounge for a nightcap with a glass of wine.

Him:"they seemed to be having fun "

Me:"they did,but they sure do miss home. Ubabalo kept on asking me when are we going home"
Him:"what did you tell him"?
Me:"I said soon..."

He didn't say anything ... I knew there was something going on in his mind

Me:"I meant to thank you yaz Soso,enkosi nyhani ntwana yam for everything you have done for us"
Him:"don't do that,we're family. And family sticks together "
Me:"not all families do that,especially not leyam but you just so happen to be different from them"
Him:"pheza kalok ngoku "
Me:"on that note,I think its time we went back home"
Him:"are you ready to face him? I mean,I know you won't be here forever but I also know you're
most welcome to "
Me:"thank you mntase but at some point I have to. I can't keep running away when the fire gets too
hot, I didn't sign up for all of this but I knew what I was getting myself into when I said I do to him.
Now I have to go back and face my problems, fix them if possible. If not,then I'll know I had tried, for
my own sanity"

Him:"eyonanto indenzela i worry more than anything kuba umthanda nyhani shame"
Me:"you say it as if its a bad thing though"
Him:"it is,uthando cannot be one sided. Ngu ina-ethe kalok lona"
Me:"I see"
Him:"so... Now that you're thinking of going back to him,what's your strategy "?
Me:"I'm not exactly going to him,he's probably in Cape Town by now but mna ndiya Ku mamakhe. I
have report to her as an elder ezi zinto azenzayo but most especially that uyandibetha then we'll see
how that goes"
Him:"do you think he'll listen to her"?
Me:"she's probably the only person he listens to,since ke nam ndingamanyelwa"
Him:"khamxele Ku Marc maan u ta Beast Tee"
Me:"yhu ha.a angambulala bro. Anyway I think Luu told him already"
Him:"hey caba u strong'o u Polo,Luke called me because he didn't wanna call Marcus. Well that's
what he told me"
Me:"yhu thanks God "
Him:"niyamoyika nina lo Beast kanti I'm certain that Marc would put him in his place"
Me:"I know you're saying this from a caring place but,I don't wanna involve my siblings just yet. I'll
deal with Ntando the way I plan to. If udlula ngapha kwayo then I'll ask for help but at least guys
allow me to try. I'm his wife after all and his aunts told me this marriage thing won't be a walk in the
park. I guess now is that time they were referring to "
Him:"mmmkay"
Me:"say it"
Him:"say what"?
Me:"lento uyithethayo in your head"
Him:"nope,I won't. You're a grown woman,you know what you're doing"

Did I? Really?

After a few more glasses I went to my room,turned off the lights and kissed my sons' cute lips as
they softly snored. As I lay there throughout half the night not falling asleep I decided to call Ntando,
he didn't sound too good earlier on when he was talking to his sons. I just wanted to know if I was
imagining things or nyhani I was right...
His phone rang four times and went straight to voicemail so I dialed again,this time it rang twice and
he answered..

Him:"mh"?

Okay wait,when its night kuthi its day kubo :/ right? Or ndim lo ubhidanisa i timezones? Why does
he sound sleepy?

Him:"helowu"?
Me:"hi,unjani"?
Him:" ndi gr- Luthando? yho baby ndcela ubuye torho. I'm sorry. I love you "
Me:"unjani Ntando "?
Him:" I miss you and the boys"
Me:"meaning u grand mos"
Him:"I'm not grand mamakhe,Luu ndcela uxolo baby. I know I hurt you please come home so we can
talk and fix us. Please I'm begging you "
Me:"u sure u grand? why are you sleeping during the day"?
Him:"I'm just tired mamakhe "
Me:"mmh,sure"
Him:"baby uzobuya mos"
Me:"at some point I have to,oh and I want a divorce so please talk to your lawyer everything must
be ready when I get home"
Him:"Luthando ndiyakucela "
Me:"ucela ntoni ngoku Ntando,i divorce le ndikunika yona "?
Him:" I made a made a mistake that cost me my life,please forgive me. Baby ndiyakucela don't give
up on us just yet"
Me:"you made a mistake that cost you your life? No Ntando,it wasn't a mistake. You slept with that
woman on your right minds. It wasn't a mistake at all"
Him:"I didn't sleep with her baby"
Me:"when will the lies stop Ntando? I've tried my utmost best to bear with you but no,you just keep
on keeping on. I asked you a question and you never answered me so I'll ask you again. Am I not
enough for you"?
Him:"baby you are more than enough"
Me:"then why ungoneli? Why do you enjoy hurting me so much? Yet you still call yourself my
husband? You still mention love in the same sentence you mention my name... Kanti ungumntu
onjani"?

He kept quiet...
I felt tears in my eyes...
Hot tears,followed by a huge lump

Me:"if you are tired of me then why don't you just take me back to my brothers? With my business
profits I'm sure I could be able to pay you back ilobola yakho if yaphela"
Him:"baby I'm sorry"
Me:"sorry doesn't cut it right now,kudala ndikunyamezele hoping you'll change at some point but
you just keep on going backwards wenze the same wrong things ozaziyo ziyasixabanisa"
Him:"Luthando ndcela undixolele, oyhini nkosikazi wam. Ndcela undixolele ma Khwalo,please "
Me:"stop apologizing for what you know you'll do all over again. Please just stop,okay"
Him:"believe me I've learnt my lesson,I will not. It was just a stupid mistake baby and it will never
happen again. I promise"
Me:"Chloe was a stupid mistake, Chuma and her assignments was also a mistake, Nomsa apparently
is a mistake too... Yhu why is it that all your mistakes happen to be women?"
Him:"Luu"
Me:"do you know how selfish you are? All these women you sleep with,I'm sure baninzi that I don't
know off uphinde uzolala nam kuyo yonke lonto. You are selfish, don't you know of the sicknesses
you could infect me with? The deadly infections? Or you just don't care as long as you get a deal out
of a shag"?

He kept quiet...
Now was definitely my time and opportunity to speak out yonke lento kudala inditya shame and I
knew very well that if I don't tell him now kuzobanzima when we see each other, kanti ke I don't
want resentment between us...

Me:"what baffles me in all of this is that instead of being remorseful for what you've done,you have
the nerve to hit me? Rha Ntando that alone indenza ndikonyanye I don't wanna lie to you"
Him:"I am sorry,I don't know what else to say or how else to say it. Ndcela undixolele nyhani, Tell me
what to do ke baby just to make you believe me I promise you I'll do it. Anything"
Me:"file for divorce "
Him:"yho haike babe andizokwazi ukuyenza lonto"
Me:"what exactly did you just promise me right now "?
Him:" hay babe that's not part of the promise"
Me:"you said anything "
Him:"uphi Luthando so that I can come and fetch you sithethe kakuhle "
Me:"I don't need you to fetch me,ndizizele apha and I know my way back. Just do what I'm asking of
you qha wena"
Him:"I know you're probably tired of my apologies but what you're asking of me... I won't be able to
do it,I'm sorry babe"
Me:"wenziwa bubu selfish obu unabo,don't mistake it with love. You don't know the meaning of that
word,you don't wanna file for divorce because you know out there there's a man who'll appreciate
me and treat me right,in fact better than you have"
Him:" ndcela ubuye ke we'll discuss this xa ulapha endlini"
Me:"kuphi endlini? Coz I'm not coming to Cape Town"
Him:"PE"
Me: "use PE wena"?
Him:" ha.a I'm in East London, I thought nilapha oko ndinilindile"
Me:"mmh"
Him:"I love you,I really do. I know I haven't shown you that lately. But I promise to change, I'll spend
more if my time with you in Port Elizabeth. Just give me a chance please. There's not much I can do
right now coz anikho ukuze ndizenze ezonto... I know kudala ndaxolisa but in this situation please
give me one last chance. Please I can't afford to loose you,I need you in my life. I really do need
you,please baby don't give up just yet. We've been through a lot to throw all of that away,I know my
babies need you. All of them but I need you more,I married you because I knew you are the best
person for me. I love you,baby I really do. I am sorry about everything. Ndcela undixolele ma Khwalo.
Ndiyakucela mamakhe. Please find it in your heart to forgive me"

I was crying kengoku...

I couldn't even respond,I just hung up ndalala. It was the best thing I could do,right that moment.

397

After two more weeks we decided to return back home, both my kids were really missing home and
their daddy I couldn't give that a blind eye anymore. Uncle Soso called his father for the PJ
wavuma,on the set day he took another shift from work just so he can accompany us to the airport.
We hugged intensely...

Him:"are you sure about this"?

Me:"don't worry yourself about me,I'll call you once we're home safe"
Him:"okay ke,good luck "
Me:"thank you,nana say bye bye to uncle Soso kalok"
Uve: "bye bye Soso"
Uba: "bye bye Soso wam"
Him:"you guys are something else,you still don't wanna say uncle Soso even now"?
Uve:"awu uncle wena "
Him:"I rest my case"

We hugged intensely once again then we departed,I informed the pilot we're going to East London
and not Jo'burg then we slept throughout the entire flight. When we landed he got us a cab then
paid for it :/ instructions from Lwandiso. The cab took us home,nyhani when we got out of the cab
Ntando's car was in the frontyard. I thanked the cab driver, took a deep breath and walked in with
these two running ahead of me. As I walked into the kitchen, they were already in the lounge I even
bumped into their father andimazi ebesiyaphi but kwavela koma umqala. I didn't know whether to
hug him as my body wanted to feel his body and smell his perfume or to just walk past him as if I
didn't see him. I cleared my throat,greeted and just walked past him to the lounge where is mom
was. We hugged,she went to prepare for us a room to freshen up saya nabantwana bam then I put
them to bed to rest and besides,the older siblings were at school anyway. I had a jet lag but I didn't
trust myself into sleeping whilst they were in the other room probably discussing me. After my
shower I wore PJs, I gave in to my tired body and joined my sons in bed,their granny came to check
in us

Her:"anilambanga makoti "?

Me:" sizotya when we wake up mama,but thank you "
Her:"okay ke sisi"
She closed the door,I texted Soso telling him we arrived safe then I dozed off. About three hours
later I woke up,washed my face and called Michelle from Legal Wise....

Her:"hey hey,its been a long time, how are you "?

Me:" I know hey,but I'm great babe how are you "?
Her:" fantastic, what can I do for you"?
Me:"I need a huge favour"
Her:"ohkay"
Me:"I need fake divorce paperwork urgently "
Her:"alright,are you still using that old email address "?
Me:" yes"
Her:"okay so who's exactly fake-divorcing who here"?
Me:"...my husband "
Her:"you're threatening your husband with divorce? Is everything okay"?
Me:"I just need him to prioritize Mich, I'm not threatening him"
Her:"mmkay,pls text me your names and everything else that you hypothetically would want if you
were divorcing for real"
Me:"alright thanks a lot"
Her:"you're welcome sweety,and good luck with everything "
Me:"thank you"

We hung up
I wore a gown and slippers then I went downstairs. I needed hot rooibos tea, my kids will wake up
hungry and I didn't want to usokolisa umakhulu ngabo. She saw me first wancuma as she handed me
a cup of exactly what I wanted along with chocchip cookies then we went to the lounge. Her son
wasn't there,thank goodness.

Her:"you look tired my child,tell me what is going on"?

Me:"we had a long flight ma"
Her:"you know that is not what I am talking about, your husband has been here for over a month
now and akanazi noba niphi "

I sighed...

Me:"I needed a break from him"

Her:"what did he do to you"?
Me:"uNtando uyand'betha mama. Ebengaqali ke,sesuko ndikrwitsha sise kapa"
Her:"haibo, kuse kuqalelephi mntanam "?
Me:" firstly he refuses to grow,for him to be responsible is to shower us with money. I spend months
and months without seeing him,we've gotten used to that but he seriously doesn't want to grow up.
Ufuna ufana neza chomi zakhe zingatshatanga zinabantwana all over and when I talk,we fight"
Her:"heee this is a shock mntanam, he never mentioned these things you're telling me oko elapha"
Me:"I've caught him out on his cheating schemes kaninzi mama and I've forgiven him but he just
doesn't know when to stop. I don't know anymore,maybe I'm the problem here coz I can't
reprimand and old man from one thing time and time again"

She was quite,I could see umsindo in her eyes

Me:"I'm tired mama of holding in to something that doesn't exist,your son doesn't love me. I don't
doubt there was a point where he did,but now I'm convinced that he's only with me because of his
kids or he's afraid of what will people say kanti ke mna I am fine alone with my kids. Asoze mama
ndinyamezele uhlukunyezwa oko as if ndancanywa or ndalahlwa ekhaya"

She cried...
I had no tears anymore...

I heard a car pull up from the driveway,she got up and paced around the room. The kids ran in,she
didn't even allow them elounge she directed them straight to their rooms. Ntando followed,ungene
nje e lounge and was welcomed yimpama from his mother. Xa eqala ukothuka kwangena eyesibini
then there was silence...
I was shaken I won't lie, I didn't really expect her to hit him. I know umntana uyohlala engumntana
kunina but uqhwatywa kwe ndoda endala is not a pretty scene. She looked at him with disgust and
anguish

Her:"uyabetha ngoku emfazini Ntando"?

Him:"ndcela uxolo makhulu "
Her:"ucela uxolo? Ucela uxolo Ntando? Fonela unyokokazi umxelele makaze apha. Uzaw'caca
eyonanto oyiyo namhlanje mntanam. Xa ukwazi ubetha umfazi uzasixelela apho uyibone khona
lonto onjanjoku sizakungomba ubhadle ungena ngqondo nje"
Him:"makhulu... "
Her:"uba ndikhe ndafona ngokwam mntanam ndakubiza noonyoko lume bonke futhi basixelele
eyonanto banifundisa yona esuthwini yintoni lento uzakuba yinto eyoyikwayo ngoku"

He had no choice but to call his aunt unless he wanted his uncles here,I've never seen umakhulu like
this. She's always sweet and calm but namhlanje she was fuming...

Him:"uthi uyeza"
Her:"good,now sit down. Akhonto sizoyithetha until she gets here"
Him: "makhulu can we talk about this? Ndcela undixolele ma I've apologized naku Luthando I swear
its a mistake I'm never make again. There's no need to involve umakazi she'll just blow this out of
proportion"
Her:"you are permitted to make a mistake once. The minute you continue with it even after
ubhaqiwe then it is no longer a mistake."

He turned to face me..

Him:"baby..."
Her:"myeke ngoku ndoda,uzuthi when we're done with you uphinde umbize"
Him:"kodwa makhulu,why don't you give me a chance to explain myself "?
Her:"kodwa mntanam I think I should make time and go back to Damelin bandinike ichange yam,xa
ucinga wena uzo qala ngaphi to explain ubetha umfazi? Or sleeping around with every skirt you
see"?
Him:" mama it's not like that"
Her:"okay ke ndoda,wait for your aunt and explain to her"

He kept quiet,buries his head between his hands as we waited for umakazi to pitch.

Umakazi yabangathi ebelapha ecamkwendlu,this is the same woman who told me to keep my lane
coz uyamazi uNtando uyawathanda amantombi ngokuya ndandi yalwa.
Her:"molweni, kutheni na khedama sisi"?
Ma:"khawuhlale phantsi Noxolo "
Her:" I wonder,Luthando khandenzele itea mntanam "

I got up from the couch

Her: "haibo,umakoti usanxibe impahla zolala elixesha"?

Ma:" iicookies zikwi top cupboard Luthando "

I went to make the tea,within a few minutes I heard umakazi ethukisela kwalandela izithonga
zeempama. When I was done I took the tea to them then I left them ndakhe ndayohlala phandle.
They needed time to speak with their son without me in the room,I didn't wanna hear Ntando's
apologies all over again. I took out my phone from the pyjama pockets and texted Michelle our
details but I told her I didn't want anything besides my cars coz my house ain't part of the deal. This
wasn't part of the deal. Anyway this was still hypothetical. Right?

I called Eve...

Her:"yhu! Where have you been?"

Well I guess now that I am back in the country caller ID recognises my phone number.

Me:"hey sis,how are you "?

Her:" I'm mad at you,why haven't you been taking our calls? Where have you been? I haven't heard
from you ever since I got back from my honeymoon "
Me:"I've been busy fondini "
Her:"Busy doing what for so long"?
Me:"I was on vacation in Portugal Dude"
Her:"you went to Portugal without telling me? You're cruel. I also miss Soso "
Me:"then call him,tell him that"
Her:"mxm,I'm coming to visit you next month"
Me:"call first,I'm in East London and I'm not sure when I'll be in Port Elizabeth "
Her:"alright,where are my babies"?
Me:"they're playing with their siblings inside the house,I'm sitting in the sun"
Her:"haha I miss your fat ass shame. Like seriously "
Me:"I might come to Jo'burg just to check on business sooner than your next month "
Her: "alright then"
Me:"love you"
Her:"love you more sweety"

I hung up and returned back inside,there was this utter silence in the room I swear the tension was
so thick you could cut through it. As I walked in I stole a look at my husband,his eyes were bloodshot
red...maybe he has been crying.

Me:"I uhm... I'll go check on the kids"

I practically ran out of that lounge my heart beating faster, :( now I was worried ngo babe. But hay
suka tchin,he deserved whatever they did or said to him.

#398
I slowed down as I approached the kids room,hearing their warm laughter melted my heart. I
opened the door slowly and quietly, I stood there just watching them laugh and the younger ones
were narrating our Portugal trip to their siblings. Uve noticed me and smiled

Him:"mamam ngena"
Sino jumped from the bed followed by Owe they came to hug me, I walked in and joined them
sancokola.

Owe: "mama dad has been here for so long,beniyephi nina"?

Sino:"he said anikho nase PE mama"
Me:"we were on vacation overseas "
Owe:"yho nasishiya thina mama"
Sino: "yho heee"
Me:"but you guys,andithi you have school? Kalok you can't just up and leave anytime you feel like"
Owe:"but now you and dad owe us a vacation too"
Me:"we'll have to talk to dad about that one"
Sino:"you see? Dad will say the same thing ba we'll have to hear from you "
Me: "then we'll discuss it then,otherwise how have you guys been"?
Owe:" we've been behaving I know that's what you are asking mama"
Sino:"and we help out with the house chores when aunt Fatima is not here"
Me:"is she around"?
Owe:"ha.a mama she's on leave"
Me:"when did she take the leave"?
Owe:"last week"

Mmh,just as we were playing Michelle sent the divorce documents via email,I didn't waste no time I
forwarded them straight to him. Right after I sent them aunt Noxy came to call me,I followed quietly
behind her
I sat down in my own couch apparently it was right across Ntando's couch. I didn't notice until I
looked up and was met by his bald head

Ma:"Luthando mntanam we have spoken to your husband, I believe uvile. He knows very well that I
don't tolerate abuse of any kind let alone lifting up a hand to a woman. I know you're hurt,and
whatever decision you take I will support you because no matter what happens we know you as our
daughter in-law."
Noxy:"I must commend you though for not running to your family about this before telling us,it
means you listened ngokuya sasikuyala apha"
Ma:"Ntando says he's sorry,I'm a woman yes but I'm his mother too and I believe he's genuinely
sorry. But I will not make any decision for you. Take your time and see if you want to give him
another chance or if uyamoyika and you'd like us to involve the family then we'll do just that"
Noxy: "as much as Ntando is our son,you are our priority because we promised you and your family
that we'll take care of you when you became part of this family"
Ma:"and on top of that,you're the mother to his children. Even aba ingengo bakho know you as their
mother"
Noxy:"eneneni mna ndiyakucela umnike elinye ithuba,I know it won't be easy but I know my
nephew. He's learnt his lesson"
Ma:"Noxolo hay man"
Noxy:"hay sisi kalok namphina umntu owonileyo oyohlwaywa ewe kodwa anikwe a chance to prove
himself "
I heard his phone beep a notification, he took about five minutes before checking it out I saw his
eyes almost popping out as I watched him closely. I sighed,threw his head back on the headrest of
the couch looking up for a few minutes then he just upped and walked out.

Ma:"uyaphi Ntando we're still talking here"?

He didn't respond
I knew that the email went through and he got it,a part of me wanted to run after him but another
part of me kept me glued on that couch.

Noxy:"myeke sisi he needs time alone,ewe ngumntana kuthi u Ntando but he's still a man. Let him
cool down"
Ma:"ooh, Luthando "?

I snapped...

Me:" ma"?
Ma:"you're awfully quiet "
Me:"I'm okay ma"
Ma:"how long will you be around "?
Me:" well I think I'm done with what I came to do so nangomso singahamba because I also need to
check on business "
Noxy:"aw'zogqiba ne veki"?
Me:"ha.a makazi,I've been gone for too long kufuneka ndijongane nezinto zam"
Ma:"you must be missing your own space too"

I just smiled...

We made a small conversation then bandikhulula ke ndigoduke ngomso, I decided to bath and
prepare dinner for the fam.
The children came down and we had dinner without their dad,oko ebemnkile and Uvelile was
beginning with his tricks again,he was moody and just spitting the food all over

Me:"Uve stop it"

He threw the spoon at me,I became angry neh but kalok ukokwabo lomntu sekude kwangathi ugeza
nge gunya

Me:"Uvelile please,I don't want to ukubetha ke neh"

Uve:"afuni tatam ma mama"
Me:"kengoku why are you throwing spoons around "?
Uba:" uphi utatam mama"?
Me:"andimazi mntanam "
Noxy:"ufuze uNtando kelo Uvelile "
Ma:"umfuze nyhani,khamjonge usinekile uzaw'vela akhale qha"
Me:"akasadiki... Sino pls bring me my phone"

Sino went to fetch my phone

Noxy:"uzamnika adlale ngayo"?

Me:"angayophula,I'll try calling his dad coz uzobanje until he hears his voice"
Ma:"yhu ndiyakusizela mntanam ase ukufa amawele"

Sino gave me my phone I dialed his father,he didn't pick up. I dialed again same result
Me:"Nana daddy is not picking up "
Uve:"afuni tatam mamam ma"
Me:"haike I don't know what language you want me to speak"

He started crying,I put my phone down and continued to eat my food. Yho Uvelile just went on and
on I took my phone again and went to the kitchen as I dialed his father again. It rang until it hit
voicemail

Me:"could you just pick up your damn phone? Please? You know I wouldn't just call you umntanakho
wants to hear your voice. Yho bro"

I hung up and went back to the lounge,makhulu took Uve and tried calming him down but he just
became worse. Ya worse more when Ubabalo decided to join him yho ndavela ndanentloko. I took
my phone and went to the room,got under the covers ndalala. I also needed to be given my time just
like Ntando, so mama and makazi must handle their grandchildren bandoyisile mna. Eyona nto that
was getting to me kuba u tata wabo was ignoring my calls. What if umntana ebegula or we had a real
emergency? Mxm

I slept for about three hours ndazovuswa ngu makazi

Me:"mh"?
Noxy: "vuka sisi we need to go to the hospital"
I got out of bed in a flash

Me:"hospital? Who's sick? Is Ntando back yet"?

Noxy:"the kids temperature is too high uthi u sisi bangaxhuzula anytime "

Yho akhange ndiphinde ndive kwanto kengoku I ran to the lounge ndafika uUve eqhiziwe ehamba
ngaze and I could see in his eyes ufumanekile. Phof akayekanga ukhala...

Me:"is Ntando back yet nemoto"?

Ma:"we've called an ambulance makoti "
Me:"ambulance iyofika sendingena mntana mama"
Noxy:"oko ebemkile ke umyenakho"
Ma:"ikhona enye imoto in the garage,Noxolo go fetch the keys in my bedroom top drawer
underneath those towels"

U took Uba and felt his temperature,it was indeed high AF. Noxy gave me the keys I ran to the
garage,struggled a bit with opening it but it eventually opened. I drove the car out,they (mama and
the twins) got in,we had to leave Noxolo behind to watch over the other two.

399

I didn't expect this...

I didn't expect the beatings,I didn't her home ( but I was happy,at least now I could prove to her that
I really do love her),I didn't expect her to tell umakhulu about our problems (she never does tell on
me),I didn't expect umakazi to react the way she did...
And then,most of all these unexpected surprises I didn't expect the divorce documents she mailed
me. Talk about bad timing. With my folk in the room I couldn't say a word about this to Luu coz she
did it discreetly and I didn't want my aunt interfering now. I messed up,I had to fix it up now. But the
divorce thing.... Yho!
Yeah she said something about the divorce but I didn't take her seriously, I initially told myself u
baby wouldn't actually go through with this thing. I was shocked.
My first instinct was to ask her about it ngoku but I couldn't say a word,I was too shocked to even
look her in the eye. I got up,grabbed my car keys and drove out. Ndimvile umakhulu calling out to
me as I left but I knew I wasn't about to go back in there...
I was on the verge of losing the most important person in my life over a bitch? Like how does that
happen? How did I become so careless? So selfish? I guess she was right when she told me I'm
selfish...

Me:"I can't afford to loose you... Not without a fight"

I drove to the nearest pub for a dop, I ordered a bottle of Hennessey and drank about four shots
then I took out my phone and went online to check on our images on her Facebook account. I didn't
have any in my phone,hadn't updated the device ever since she smashed all my phones. As I was
drinking and go through our memories Ranger called me...

Me:"yha"
Range:"Uthi u Bullet your wife and kids are in East London grootman"
Me:"I know"
Range:"ooh okay,so when can we expect you this side"?
Me:"she's leaving me Ranger"
Range:"who's she"?
Me:"my wife,she filed for divorce today"
Range:"haibo, what happened kanti ta Beast? Why is she leaving"?
Me:"Nomsa happened, Chloe happened, business happened,work happened, every other bitch
happened. Okay? "
Range:"yho... What now? Ithini plan yakho kengoku or iway forward"?
Me:"I'm not gonna loose my wife over some stupid bitches and reckless behavior mfondini, that's
not even a matter of question I have to fight for my marriage "
Range:"oh-kay... "
Me:"in the morning call Benjamin, tell him we won't be working with Nomsa anymore he must cut
all ties with her ASAP "
Range:"big guy do you realize how much you could loose for that? breach of contract included"?
Me:"niqqa I don't give a fuck! You and I both know I can make that money in a day, where will I get
another wife who's gonna love me as I am? Omnyu Luthando ndizamcholaphi in this world that is full
of gold digging bitches? Huh? Tell Benjamin to fucken let that account go. With immediate effect "
Range:"yes sir"
Me:"I won't be available for the Mumbai trip but I'll delegate people for the leadership throughout
the job"

Range:"haibo ta Beast,you know how it gets when we go on a mission without you"

I downed two shots raw...

Me:"Ranger"
Ranger:"ta Beast"
Me:"Ranger "
Range:"Grootman "
Me:"andikwazi noba awundiva na or you just don't understand, I have bigger life problems to deal
with uyandiva neh? You,you don't get to tell me that you as a grown ass man cannot handle just one
small business without me holding your hand through it. Kudala ndinixelela that I won't always be
around,I've shown you the ropes countless times now it your turn to show me that you deserve to
be in the team. All of you"

Then there was silence...

Me:"am I clear? Or should I fly to Cape Town just to make sure you understand what I just said"?
Range:"no no no,I understand Grootman "
Me;"good. Remember to call Benjamin "
Range:"sharp"

I hung up...
Just then Nomsa called -_- this woman has issues, serious life issues. She's been calling me since
last month,I told her to deal with the HR or my CEO Benjamin but no..she just doesn't get the clue.

Me:"Nomusa"
Her:"you've been ignoring me Ntando, ndenzeni? What's going on"?
Me:"its Mr Ntabeni to you and no I haven't been ignoring you I just don't think there's anything else
we can discuss since I told you who to talk to regarding business "
Her:"wha- Mr Nta- okay,what's really going on here"?
Me:"what's going on is that you need to get a life,because of you I managed to ruin mine so
nontombi khawuthi gu man. I need to breath without your nagging phone calls bothering me.
Gorrit"?
Her:"RHA uyinja"
Me:"tell me something I don't know"
Her:"sies. You're an excuse of a man and just so you know,I'm withdrawing my businesses from
anything inconnection to yours"
Me:"with immediate effect please, oh and you better delete my number from your phone. I deleted
yours the day we signed the contract "

She started brawling,I hung up. I didn't have time for that,for her. I had an upset wife at home who's
divorcing me so...

After I finished the bottle u took my car keys and drove out of that pub,I needed more "air" I was
suddenly suffocating in my own breath. I drove in medium speed but as I drove,I think I accelerated
more coz before I knew it...
I heard hooters and screeching tyres,a bang sound and then... Nothing. I lost it.

...

I drove that car like a maniac,we got to East London Private Hospital in a flash. The young kings were
still crying and my head was throbbing. We signed at the Reception and went through,a male doctor
attended to us...
Wakhe wa muncu? These kids,just now now were bawling as if kufe unina,once we got the doctor
they just dozed off balala? :o kanye u Uvelile wavela warhona! Yhu,I wanted to strangle him :'(
I waited impatiently as the doctor ran some tests then left us...I decided to try their dad again since
he hasn't returned any of my calls...

Me:"mxm"
Ma:"he's still not answering"?
Me:"nope"
Ma:"myeke,he'll return your calls once he sees them"
Me:"u selfish wethu u Ntando mama,how do you leave without telling anyone uyaphi ebusuku
uhlala nabantwana"?
Ma:"maybe he's still upset mntanam, khamxolele"

Okay...
Ngubani kanene ongenomthethelela umntana wakhe?
I decided to keep quiet coz andimazi nyhani inoba uphi uNtando, on the other hand,I was worried
about him. What if he went to do something stupid after he got those papers? Coz uphume right
after he got the email :'(
I took a deep breath in,jumped at the sight of the doctor hoping to at least know what's going on
with my kids...

Me:"Hey doc,what seems to be the problem"?

Doc:" oh we're still running the tests ma'am,I just want to confirm payment first "
Me:"payment "?
Doc:" yes... I see here,okay where is it now"?

He went through his documents, I cursed under my breath as I only remembered now that I didn't
bring my wallet.I didn't bring nothing. Just my phone. I looked hopelessly at my mother in-law...

Doc: "here it is,yep this is the one. It is written here that the young boys are under Mr Ntabeni's
medical aid"
Yhu
I sighed in relieve

Me:"oh,they appear? Thank goodness "

Doc:"Yes ma'am it was even easy locating them since Mr Ntabeni was just admitted a couple of
hours ago and they very much share quite a lot of resemblance with him"
Me:"wait,what"?

He lifted up his eyes and looked at my surprised face then at my mother in-law who was now kinda
confused
I saw the man swallow...

Me:"doc pls repeat what you just said"

Doc:"a Mr Ntabeni was admitted here.I uhm... Judging by your reactions I should think you didn't
know"
Me:"didn't know what"?
Ma:"Luthando give the man a chance to speak"

I sighed...
He better speak clearly ke...

Doc: "a certain Mr Ntabeni was involved in a car accident and he was admitted about an hour or two
ago,the receptionist was supposed to inform his family immediately after he was brought in"
Me:"who's this Mr Ntabeni? What's his name"?
Doc:"a uhm... Ntando Ntabeni "

I froze izibindi ngaphakathi..

Ma:"what happened to him? How is he"?

Doc:"may I ask how related are you to him ma'am"?
Tyhini Thixo :o
Kungona acinga usibuza lonto sesixelele everything?
Wow
Ma:"we're his family,I'm his mother she's his wife"
Doc:"...I'm sorry to break the news to you like this"
Me:"where is he"?
Doc:"you can follow me I'll take you to him,but I'd advice that one must watch over the kids"
Ma:"iya Luthando "

I nod and followed the doctor, only then did I realize ndihamba ngenyawo all this time. We got to his
room and he had drips hanging all around him,I took time just accessing the seriousness of this
before asking the doctor...

Me:"what are these drips for"?

Doc: "this one is draining the excessive amounts of alcohol in his body,those two are sedatives and
hydrants he's lost quite a lot of body fluids"

I went near his bandaged head...

Doc: "he only suffered a head injury and a wound below his ribcage. Nothing major"

I looked at the wound,its exactly on that same place he had a wound on when he was involved in an
accident ehamba nabantwana.

#400

The more I looked at him the angrier I got so I decided to go check on my kids and let his mother
check on him,ngumntana wakhe ekugqibeleni.
When I got there she was talking to the doctor but they were done coz the doctor was leaving

Me:"kuthwa batheni mama"?

Ma:"akubonwanto mntanam,but they'll keep then here for observation until morning"
Me:"how is that possible? Abantwana were crying like nobody's business when we got here and
their temperatures were sky high now akubonwanto"?
Ma:"stop stressing yourself,the doctors know what they're doing''
Me:"but they don-"

I decided to shut up!

Ma:"how's your husband "?

Me:" mxm lowo...he's fine. At least I think he will be"
Ma:"wasn't he badly injured "?
Me:" no,go see for yourself "

I walked her out and directed her to her son's ward then I returned back to my own sons and looked
at them. I felt both their foreheads ndahleka

Me:"unbelievable! So even your temperatures are back to normal now"?

I felt betrayed by these kids,my head was throbbing manyhani ngoku. Their grandma returned
sahlala ke watching these two until morning,we must have dozed off coz ndothuke ndigodola and
she was fast asleep. I quietly left and went to check on Ntando, hoping that he's at least awake akhe
andicacisele what exactly was he hoping to achieve driving under the influence of alcohol. When I
got there he was still fast asleep...

I walked up to him and fixed my eyes on his chest,it was only now that I noticed a new tattoo on his
left side of the chest. Breastplate in fact. I went to the other side of the bed and looked closely...
"Sinothando kodwa OweNtando ka thixo Uvelile u Luthando kwaye ulUbabalo"

It had some sort of a book or bible underneath it so it was written on top of it,like a scripture or
something. It was beautiful I won't lie, written in curly almost cursive writing...

Me:"mxm "
Him:"you hate it "?

I almost jumped back with shock

He must have been awake all this time qha uzixelele he wanna hear what I came to say

I moved away from him and went to the windows

Him:" Luthando "

Me:"why u selfish kangaka nje Ntando "?
Him:" Luu pls let's not fight kuse ksasa for all of that,and this is most certainly not the place "
Me:"I just asked you a question who's fighting"?
Him:"I'm sorry ke"
Me:"you're not,don't force it. Akhomntu uzakunyanzela ngo Xolo apha "

He sighed and touched his head

I went to sit down next to his bed, a huge part of me was worried about him but I didn't want to
show it. He knows very well that he's my weakness; yenyinto emgezisayo futhi leyo

Me: "why did you drink and drive when you know very well what the consequences are"?
Him:" I didn't even drink much... I just needed some air man baby"
Me:"look at this drip and tell me is that not much"

He looked at the drip wathula...

Me:"why didn't you answer your phone"?

Him:"bendingafuni uthetha na mntu I needed to be alone"
Me:"and you didn't think maybe I was calling you because something urgent needed you? Your
mom? Kids"?
Him:"I had a lot on my mind,with that divorce thing you filed for there was nothing else I could think
of "
Me:"so ubucingela wena wedwa,yet again"

He looked at me,in unbelief

Him:"you served me with divorce papers,how do you expect me to be sane after that? Haibo
Luthando khawbe human please yes I'm a man but I have feelings too"
Me:"so yet again,this is all about you"

He sighed...
I got up

Him:"pls don't go"

Me:"I have to check on my kids"
Him:"your kids? You mean our kids? Bafuna ntoni apha"?
Me:"if you had answered your phone when I called you last night or at least returned one of the
missed calls you'd know. But you were too busy licking your wounds and brushing your ego''
Him:"that's not fair..."
Me:"look at me Ntando,I'm walking barefoot on tiles,slept on a wooden bunk bed,wearing PJs at a
hospital with my ragged hair because your sons decided to be suddenly sick and you were not there.
I had to be umama tata kubo,God bless your mother coz she had to leave her comfortable home
azogodola apha ubusuku bonke. Ubuphi wena? Busy drinking your life problems away,now that's
unfair"

I left him there and returned to the kids ndafika bevuka

Uve:"mama abuya itatam "?

Me:" mxm,ungaya Ku Ntando makhulu uvukile"
Uba:"awamba nam khulu"
Me:"you're not going anywhere"

Ma:"don't be so hard on them,they're children abazinto"

I didn't answer her I just sat down,I was frustrated at myself and a my husband. I knew I was wrong
for taking that out on my babies

Ma:"the doctor will be back to discharge them"

Me:"okay ma"

She left
I looked the young kings

Uba:"sambe siye utatam mama"

Me:"I don't want to"
Uve:"sambe mamam siye itatam"
Me:"ndcela nithule pls"

Bantliphinika...
My mother in-law called me

I know she was gonna tell me I should bring my children to their dad

Me:"hello mama"
Ma:"once the doctors discharge the kids pls come this side with them"
:(
I knew it

Me:"okay ma"

She hung up
Yhu uyadika u Ntando I'm sure he gave her puppy eyes and she melted. The doctor came in,I signed
the discharge papers,took my kids and we walked hand-in-hand to their father's ward. The minute
they heard his voice encokola no makhulu they loosened their hands from mine and ran inside
ahead of me. I followed...

Yaz every time I saw him on that bed my heart tore into pieces. I know it ain't my fault he can't
handle pain when directed towards him but I know I pushed him over the edge with the divorce. I
was glad I did,at least now I know what part of his fears are. Either it is loosing me or loosing the
boys,but he wasn't gonna loose them we were just gonna live separate lives just like his other baby
momma's. I sat down and watched the boys on the bed with their dad...
Uba was sad,his focus was the head bandage but Uve was talking asking his daddy about the ribcage
bandage and why he was lying here. I kept quiet,I had said my piece when I came earlier.

401

Three days down the line we were still in East London :(

Mama wanted her son to fully recover from the accident before sihambe. As much as I didn't want
to at first, but as the week continued I noticed my anger melting towards my husband. Bekusuka
nengcwangu le...
Sunday mama left with the kids,she actually asked us to go with her but we couldn't. Ntando had a
conference call with the board in Jo'burg at ten,I made an excuse yempahla wethu and anyway I
couldn't leave him alone so Sunday lunch was on me njalo. I had woken up and prepared my
boys,helped the older siblings then batya and left. I started cleaning the kitchen,lounge,kids rooms
then I went to make myself food. Ntando was already busy with his conference call...

I just made a fruit smoothie and went to sit outside with it and my phone. I misses uncle Soso so I
called him

Him:"beyps"
Me:"I miss you"
Him:"tyhini, yintoni ekhedamisayo kengoku? Intle nje lonto"
Me:"mxm Soso vha"
Him:"oh I love you kodwa"
Me:"you're supposed to be sleeping why u fresh kangaka"?

Him:"I'm out playing with other children bheyibhi, a man needs a break from work sometimes"
Me: "heee"
Him:"don't worry I'll give ta Beast some advice vha"
Me:"fokof"

He burst into laughter :'(

Me;"if you continue at this pace I'll hang up on you yaz Lwandiso "
Him:"but why are you so bitter? Oh wait lemme guess,you haven't received any sugar from naughty
hubby"?
Me:"Soso "

Again...
He burst into laughter :'(
Him:"uphi? I thought by now you guys would have kissed and made up"
Me:"I'm still in East London bro,naye ulapha. Recovering from an accident ebezifake kuyo"
Him;"accident "?
Me:" drunk driving "
Him:"ohkay,who are we talking about kanene"?
Me:"hm, you heard right"
Him:"that's sooo unlike him. What happened? Unjani? Mxm,don't answer that,I don't really care
he's still the dog who cheated on you and still had the guts to beat you "
Me:"...can we change the subject"?
Him:"...can we talk some other time?"
Me:"are you ditching me''?
Him:"you have a husband's wound's to nurse wethu yintoni iqumbisa? And anyway I wanted to find
you inkunzi ye bhokhwe emnyama along with a Swati sangoma to check you but zange uvume
sooo.."
Me:"mnk,ukho kelomntu undishiyayo apha kuwe and it ain't Lindo "
Him:"I love you dear,kiss our sons for me"
Me: "mnk"

He chuckled and hung up on me, I smiled and just finished off my smoothie. After that I decided to
go start on the Sunday lunch..
Ntando came down and I was peeling veggies listening to Rihanna

Him:"Luu"
Me:":"hm"
Him:"can we talk'?
Me:"shoot"
Him:"pls can we sit down... "

I stopped ndamjonga,okay he seemed serious. I dropped everything and led the way to the lounge
ndahlala phantsi,he followed and joined me on the couch holding both my hands. Okay I won't lie I
was shocked,we never hold hands no matter how serious the conversation is

Me:"what's going on"?

Him:"baby I know you prolly hate the sight of me right now and you must be tired of my apologies
but I can't stop until I know you've really forgiven me. I know its too early but baby please put me
out of this misery"
Me; "what do you want from me? I gave you everything there is to give to a man,a husband but it
still wasn't enough for you. Ndithini ke babe"?
Him:" ndcela a chance tu,just one more to prove myself to you"

I took a deep breath...

I was holding my tears..

Me:"You've hurt me I can't get over the fact that you lift your hand kum without thinking twice.
Ungandibulala mos in the name of love them bury me under the same bed you sleep on"
Him;"I'd never do that. You know I'd never do that. I really do love you"

I shook my head as tears rolled down my cheeks

Him;"Luthando please don't cry,okay ke tell me what you want me to do''

Me:"I just want to go home mna,I want to be in my own space and get my mind and heart right"
Him:"we're together, we're a team. Can we deal with this as a team? As a married couple "?
Me:" don't come to me with that! Please don't "

He started apologizing all over again,he even knelt down on both knees begging for my forgiveness.
Uthando luyadlala ke ngee ngqondo zethu,I melted like butter on hot bread as he begged me
endibiza ngawo onke amagama amnandi,endithutha as he wiped my tears.

He took a chance and kissed my dry almost cracking lips,then he looked deep into my eyes

Him:"ndiyakuthanda Luthando, not just with my heart but with my life"

Me:"but money will always come first,right"?
Him:"not anymore "
Me:"you're just saying that because I filed for divorce,awufuni ubangathi uyi failure that's all"
Him:"tell me what to do to prove to you lento ndiyithethayo ke baby''

I shook my head ndaphakama, if he doesn't know what to do as the man in this relationship then I
don't know what else to say. He caught my arm as I approached the stairs I stopped abruptly and
looked at him shocked

Me:"yintoni ngoku "?

He didn't say a word

He just kissed me
At first I was between confusion and anger but then I let go,I just for once in a long time let my body
take care the lead. When he realized that I was responding to his kisses he pulled me closer as the
kiss grew much more passionate and deeper.

I stopped him just before I lost my mind in this bliss

His eyes were fixed on my lips,I licked them knowing fully well that I was killing him more.
Then I cleared my throat...

Me:" pls tell your mom the kids and I want to go home ngomso, then call Mo azosithatha"

He watched me as I retuned back to the kitchen.

This man followed me to the kitchen,as I was facing the other way I felt his hands on both my hips
and I froze.

Him:"I love you, I'll tell you this every chance I get if I have to so that you believe it, and believe me
too"

Yaz u Ntando usile?

:'( he could've said all of this eme phaa kude but he had to touch me,be so close to me and speak
as if whispering in my ear. Damn his breath was so warm against my ear it sent chills throughout my
entire body. That's why I froze. Umzimba wam sewunenyanga and more ungasaviswa kanje :/

I cleared my throat trying to regain control over my own body... I was failing though
His hand snaked its way round to my front,brushing against my breast. I skipped a beat...

Me:"what are you doing"?

That wasn't meant to come out a whisper... But it did. I don't know why

Him:"taking this"

He took a knife right in front of me kanye the one that I was using (not that azikho ezinye in the
drawer) ,moved to the fridge and cut up pineapple to cubes. I turned and looked at him with my
arms folded

He arched a brow

Him:"what"?
Me:"have you signed the papers"?
Him:"no"
Me:"when are you planning to "?
Him:" I'm not planning to "
Me:"care to share why? Okanye don't,we'll go around in circles"
Him:"there's no going around in this,I'm not signing those papers. Qha"
Me:"mmh"

I took my knife and continued cooking in silence.

A private call came through,I get shaken ke when a call gets more private sendino caller ID app

Him:"you're not answering that"?

Me:"I don't think I want to"

He came close and looked at my phone,then pressed the answering button leaving me no choice but
to answer. Worse iku loud speaker...

Me:"hello"?
Her:"Iyakusebenzela lento wamtyisa yona u Ntando "

I looked at him,I knew the voice. He also knew it,but we just silently decided to keep quiet simvule
athethe

Her:"even after you destroyed his properties he still chooses you,hay sana uzukhe undiphe i address
yelixhwele lakho"

Umsindo ebendinawo...kulo uphambkwam phof. He saw it in my eyes...

Him:"you should get treated for le bipolar disorder yakho Nomsa iyakuphambanisa straight"

She hung up immediately after he said that.

He put my phone down and held me at arms length...

Him:"baby I'm sorry about that"

Me:"fokof"

I snatched my arms away from him and continued with what I was doing.