Munch My Macho Taco
Munch My Macho Taco
Munch My Macho Taco
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"Munch My Macho Taco" by D. M. Larson
from the play "William Shatner Man Crush" ISBN-13: 978-1505910155 (Book)
available as a low cost PDF Sellfy.com (PDF)
(Randy is in his wrestling mask and has a sign that says "Munch my Macho Taco." He
has a sign dancing job where he stands on street corner with an advertising sign - a
dream job for him. An old lady, Sadie, is watching him and checking him out)
(Randy does a silly dance with his sign and sings to the tune of Macho Man by the
Village People)
RANDY
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Macho, Macho Taco. I wanna eat a Macho Taco." Hey!
RANDY
I told you not to bother me while I'm working, Sadie.
(Sadie giggles and wanders off. Randy goes back to waving his sign)
RANDY
It's a tough life... Being a celebrity. But I am a star now. My fans demand I dance.
RANDY
Maybe I should insure my booty like JLo... Cause when I shake this thang it's gold.
Macho taco said their sales are way up since I started this. They sold like 10 extra
tacos yesterday. They almost ran out of tortillas. I can't believe I get paid to do this.
This is like a dream job for me. I mean this is what I do anyway. When I home alone,
I crank up the music and dance!
RANDY
Except at home I usually ain't wearing nothing but my undies.
SADIE
I'd pay to see that! You wear them tidy whities just like Tom Cruise? You wanna
show me your Risky Business.
RANDY
The hard part about this is all the fans. Ever had groupies? It's crazy. I mean I don't
mind the drive by fans who shout out things. They're cool.
RANDY
"Eat a macho taco, brother!" But it's the creepy ones that hang around and watch
you... and wanna touch you.
RANDY (CONT.)
Knock it off, Sadie. Don't damage the merchandise. I gotta keep working this baby.
RANDY (CONT.)
"I pity the fool who don't eat no Macho Tacos."
SADIE
Yeah! Shake it! Like the San Francisco quake of 19 ought six.
RANDY
Chicks think this job is hot.
SADIE
Ride 'em cowboy!
RANDY
"So good! Macho taco! So good! Macho taco! Come on! Come on!"