Knights of The Dinner Table 247

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CONTENTS
ISSUE 247: ODD HALL
REGULAR COLUMNS
41 Gamer Pulpit
by Jeremy Meister
DEPARTMENTS 43 Tales from the Table
Actual Tales from the Gaming Table
4 Cries from the Attic 57 Web Scryer
Editorial of a madman by Ken Newquist Uncover Ancient Horror & Modern Cults
w/ Call of Cthulhu
GAMEMASTER’S WORKSHOP
5 Table Talk: Letters Page
31 Sick of This
Using Plague in Your Game by Jeremy Meister
Our readers talk back
46 Denizens of Tellene
60 Back Room at the Games Pit Finlek, Leyta Winslen by Barb Blackburn
48 All Things Magic
An opinion arena where
readers can sound off Elixir of Efficient Rest by J.L. Duncan
49 Bait And Tackle

Adventure hooks on the fly
62 Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board
Classified ads, personals
and other strangeness 51 Deadly Trappings
Lid Grid by Barb Blackburn
REVIEWS
SPECIAL FEATURES
52 Lost Game Safari
by Alan Hume
35 AD&D Trivia Game
Getting the Band 55 Indy Game Scene
Back Together by J.L. Duncan
and Other Campaign
A Red and Pleasant Land
Starters
By Jim Davenport 58 Off the Shelf
by Noah Chinn
39 Pride and Prejudice/Sense and

Sensibility
Nostalgia 59 Brian’s Picks

Aces and Eights optional rule. Crisis: Tokyo, World’s Fair 1893,
by Shane Ivey Dead Last
© Copyright 2017, Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table® magazine
(ISSN 1526-307X) is published monthly by Kenzer and Company, 1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647.
LEGAL NOTICE: Knights of the Dinner Table, HackMaster and Kingdoms of Kalamar are registered trademarks of Kenzer and Company. Odd Hall™, All Things Magic, Back Room at the Games
Pit, Bait and Tackle, Board Squawk, Brian’s Small Press Picks, Celebrity Hack, Cries from the Attic, Deadly Trappings, Disks of Wondrous Power, GameMasters’ Workshop, Game Mechanic,
Gamer Pulpit, GameVine, Gaming the Movies, Gary Jackson Files, Hacklopedia of Beasts, Hard Eight Enterprises, kenzerco.com, KODT, Lookin’ at Comics, Off the Shelf, One-Two Punches,
Parting Shots, Players’ Advantage, Radio Free KODT, Retro-KODT, RFKODT, Rustlers of the Night, SpellJacked, Summon Web Scryer, Table Talk, Tales from the Table, The Gamer’s Rant on the
Movies/TV. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The “Indy” Game Scene, the Kenzer and Company Logo, The Quotable Gamer, Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board, W.W.A.G.D. and all prominent char-
acters and likenesses thereof are trademarks of Kenzer and Company.
2 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

®
COMIC STRIPS
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE
PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company

10 When the Sheet EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Hits the Fan Jolly R. Blackburn • jolly@kenzerco.com
ASSISTANT EDITOR
12 Bargain Bin Skills Barbara Blackburn • barb_blackburn@kenzerco.com
16 The Crack Shot KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM
21 The Cake Walk Jolly R. Blackburn • Steve Johansson
David S. Kenzer • Brian Jelke • Barbara Blackburn (+1)
28 Stop Dragon My HACKMASTER EDITOR Steve Johansson • steve@kenzerco.com
Heart Around
KODT STRIP ART Jolly R. Blackburn
63 One-Two Punches COVER ART Andy Hopp
CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS
Brendon Fraim • Brian Fraim Bill “Indy” Cavalier
Larry Elmore • Jolly Blackburn • Carolyn Stogdill
Paul Shiner • Brady McNulty
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
OTHER TOONS Kenneth Newquist • Noah Chinn • Shane Ivey
Barbara Blackburn • Jolly R. Blackburn • Larry Elmore
61 SnarfQuest™ J.L. Duncan • Alan Hume • James Davenport • Kira Parker
Larry Elmore
SALES/MARKETING/ADVERTISING
64 Additional Cartoons
Steve Johansson • steve@kenzerco.com • 847-858-6847
Bill “Indy” Cavalier, Carolyn Stogdill,
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CHARMED PERSONS
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D T ™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn
NIGHTS OF THE INNER ABLE
K way back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, Shadis. It was
something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought.
Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions,
1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647
Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that soon KODT was
overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now Back Issues: Older issues and other KODT merchandise are avail-
able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM
controlling the creator. The Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or the D-Team (David
Kenzer, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our
inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 246 issues and over 74 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us.
their belts, it’s been a wild ride and we look forward to seeing where the Knights take us next.
Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 3

A HERO FALLS...
T
his isn’t the editorial I had planned on writing when My dad wasn’t a gamer. He would tell his friends he had
I woke up this morning. As I put the finishing touch- no idea what it was I did. But he knew more than he let on.
es on the strips in this issue last night, my plan was When one of my 80 year old Uncles once flipped through
to explain to readers why I had decided to put the regular the comic after a Thanksgiving meal and asked, “And what
story arcs to the side this issue to present a collection of is it they do...?”
stand alone strips.
My dad answered perfectly, “It’s like cowboys and
It’s been a rough month since my last editorial. From indians. Only they have rules.”
some personal health issues that required a hospital stay
and a host of medical appointments (don’t worry — I’m fine It was such a perfect answer. So perfect in fact, I’ve used
and on the mend) to trips back to the place I was born and it as a line in KODT several times (just last issue in fact).
raised to visit my father who My dad surprised me many
has been ailing. Add to that years ago when I went home
prepping for Gen Con and for a visit and he asked me a
finishing up the trade paper- question about one of the
back — in short I’ve been characters in the comic.
doing a lot of juggling these It caught me off guard.
past weeks with a lot of
It was the type of question
demands on my time.
that made me realize that not
So — Falling back to some only had he been reading the
material I’ve been meaning to comic — but following along
run in the comic anyway at with great interest.
some point seemed like a
Later, I would learn he read
good solution to getting
every single issue and contin-
through a tough patch.
ued to do so every month.
Anyway, I wast tweaking the
His favorite character, he
last few panels a few hours
once told me, was Squirrely.
ago when news arrived my
He loved the little furhead. So anytime, I added a little
father had passed peacefully in his sleep. Sort of expected
Squirrely moment in a strip it was sort of a tip of the hat to
but not so much. You know how that works. It hit hard.
the old man. I knew he’d be pleased and it would get a
So things are still raw here. And I haven’t fully processed smile (It just occurred to me as I was writing that — this will
things — so forgive me if I ramble. And forgive me if I over- be the first issue of the comic he won’t read).
share. It’s my way and always has been on this page. I just
One last thing about my father. Over the years during our
couldn’t let my father’s passing go without mentioning
visits, he often made it a point to remind me that, I was
him here to readers.
doing what I loved — and just how rare that can be.
I’m not going to go into all the reasons why he was a
I’ll end with saying he live a full and rich life. He enriched
great man here (aren’t all good fathers?). I’ll save that for
the lives of his wife, children, grandchildren as well as
another day. If you see me at a con, ask me about him. I’ll
countless friends in his community. He died peacefully —
tell you some good stories over a drink.
as he always hoped. So we’re grateful for that.
When we started the Honorary Knight of the Dinner
I will miss him. He was the man I leaned on most in life for
Table roll twenty-one years ago, the first inductee was my
support. The man I yearned to live up to and to be like.
father (along with my mom). There was never any doubt in
my mind that his name would be first. And for a very good He was my hero. And I wish I had told him that more
reason. Without him it’s very likely you wouldn’t be often.
reading these words. Period. Peace folks. Keep those you love close.
Dad loaned me the money to print the very first issue of
Knights of the Dinner Table after I decided to go monthly.
He just didn’t loan it to me. He insisted. It was his idea. He
believed in me. And he did so at a point in my life when Jolly Blackburn
I was considering walking away to pursue a ‘real’ job. August 14, 2017
He believed in all of his kids. That was just HIS way.

meanwhile — 373 miles to the north
thanks for
the GROUND
GUIDE, bob.
no problem,
buddy..
But you do so very effectively. I also like In the PWN-Brian Express storyline, this
the fact that continuity seems important to is where Nitro is "Returned to Sender" by
you. Everytime, I think, “uh oh — they blew Gary's spell, due to it returning "any
it”, I turn a page or pick up the next issue weapon, spell, or hostile hurled, thrown, or
and, BOOM. I’m wrong. teleported at ME with ME as the target".
EDITOR’S NOTE: The mail just
never seems to stop. While we I read a LOT of comics and you’d be B.A. made a bad call here, because looking
make every effort to read each and surprised how many writers just don’t care. earlier in the book at how everything is set
every letter, it is not always possible Keep up the great work. I’m really hoping up, Gary's character Urzun ISN'T the target!
to give a personal reply. Even if your letter the Knights win that match. The target is his last known LOCATION,
doesn’t happen to be published or if you don’t Casey Long 7 which meant Nitro would pop up there
get a direct response, rest assured you are whether Urzun was there or not!
being heard. Thanks, Casey. I appreciate the comments.
Yes, continuity has always been important to Gary's character wasn't the target at all
Remember, KODT is an interactive me for some reason. Even back in the day and therefor the Nuclear Winter Fireball
magazine. We want you, the reader, to be when it may not have been apparent there should have been unleashed!
involved. So keep your suggestions, thoughts was a need for it when KODT was just a series I know this was a slip-up mostly due to
and opinions (constructive and otherwise) of one-page off out strips with punch lines. pressures coming from looming deadlines,
coming. Opinions expressed by readers are 'Con season coming up, and a TON of extra
not necessarily shared by the editor or Kenzer As I’ve pointed out in the past, the footnotes
sprinkled throughout each issue are largely work dealing with KODTLAS issues, it just
and Company. Please be aware that due to feels good to know that I wasn't crazy and it
space considerations, some letters have been for my own benefit. They help me keep track
of plot points and details spanning over 200 bugged me for a reason.
edited and/or trimmed. — Jolly
issues and 27 years. And every issue I’m very Still a huge fan, just renewed my subscrip-
grateful we started that habit many years ago tion, and look forward to more crazy adven-
KODT 246 (and for my wife who has largely become the tures.
Just finished the latest issue and really keeper of such things). Thank you all and keep up the great work!
enjoyed it. Your storytelling skills really But do I goof sometimes...? Yes. Or do I? Ken D. 7
show as always but I’ve been increasingly
Read on — Jolly Hey, Ken. It’s been a few years since, I’ve
impressed with the storyboarding.
read those strips so it’s a bit fuzzy. But — let’s
The shot of Bob ground guiding Gordo as ISSUE 221: OOPS! not go pointing fingers here, buddy.
he backs up the Uhaul to load up the swag. Hey, Jolly. Long, long time reader and first Assuming you are right (and you could be)
Beautiful! I realize you use 3D modeling time writer here. Something has been bug- it wasn’t MY mistake. Not at all. You pointed it
software sometimes to compliment your ging me about issue 221 for a very long time out yourself — it was a bad call.
drawing. — and now and I finally put my finger on it.
HOW TO CONTACT US
^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums
7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to jolly@kenzerco.com
. via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087
z: via TWITTER —@KENZERCO FB: via Facebook — Kenzerco
A CO
M
STAN PLETE
D ALO
STOR NE
Y¡¡
LLOYD THE DRIVER
Issue 246 arrived JUST as I was leaving on
a trip. Read it on the train and when I was
finished, I wished I had brought more issues.
Such a great story line.
Pete’s pick up game was a nice little side
arc and a welcome change of pace from the
chaos and mayhem going on at Hard Eight.
I felt for, Pete. Fancies himself a great
game master yet under appreciated. It was
nice that Shee and Eddie were at least con-
siderate enough to forego their feelings on
the matter and sit at this table.
I loved how the UPS driver was shang-
haied to play with the group. Lloyd is an
Hey Kids — We’re out interesting character. And of the type we
of FLGS REPORTS. haven’t seen in a long while in KODT. The
Do you have a friendly local
SERGEANT FURY non-gamer looking in on the world of
game shop where you pick Hope you are well and enjoying the sum- games.
up your games, dice and mer. Just got KODT #245. What a great We’ve seen it with Crutch and his friends
monthly issues of KODT?
cover homage to SGT. FURY #1. and through the eyes of the patrons of Hawg
Well we’d like to hear about Wallers. But this was something new and
‘em. So would our readers. The coloring and art is fantastic. The comic
Snap some photos, cover recreations you have been running different. I loved the little discussion about
write a few words and have been very wonderful. the bad rap role-playings received by the
send ‘em to the Editor! media and parents. And the little references
Hope to see you at Gen Con next month
to past stories like the steam tunnel forays
and that the convention season has not been
and the paintball assassin games. Good
A bad call made by B.A. ;) to crazy for you. I am thinking of attending
stuff.
Seriously, I meant to read over those strips Gary Con next year. Gary Con sounds like a
fun event. It would be great to go to an Not sure what Lloyd’s future in the comic
this week but got distracted. And yes you are
event at the old Playboy resort and experi- will be but part of me is hoping he gets
correct — that was a very involved story arc
ence some gaming history. hooked and becomes a regular. Maybe he
with dozens of characters and twists.
John Lahr 7 replaces Moe in Patty’s group?
Wouldn’t surprise me if you’re right.
It’s nice to know readers are paying attention You would LOVE Gary Con, John. I look forward to seeing how that strips
and keeping us on our toes. ends and if it does indeed involve zombies.
I guarantee it. I really hope to see you and the
Thanks for the support and taking the time gang there next year. It would be like old Game on!
to comment. — Jolly times. — Jolly Derek G. 7
to be honest — my parents, they... MY PARENTS TOO...

so for real — what
you were saying before... well — they were VERY protective my dad actually made
of my SISTERS and \ when it me BURN all my books
came to WHAT we were exposed to. when he found my stash.
you’ve NEVER played a
ROLE-PLAYING GAME before?
and um, these sorts of \ had to play
oh my
games — they were on the DOWN-LO
GOODNESS...
nope. not once. DEAD SET against ‘em. — for YEARS.
like... but \’ve HEARD then you know
they HEARD what \’m
of ‘em, sure. talking about.
not EVER? things -
you know.

LYNCH REPORT #245 mix of the two. (I suspect Hard Eight will let
the players walk away with most of the stuff,
Well the shopping spree degenerated into to avoid bad publicity from the bloggers and
complete chaos pretty, as I thought it might. violations from the fire department.)
It was still a hoot seeing both sides And we still have the Dawg match to look
plotting against each other: the folks at forward to!
Hard Eight thinking of loopholes to keep Hoody hoo,
the players from leaving with the loot, with
Brian planning and plotting with the players Jim Lynch 7
to take as much from the warehouse as
possible. Good stuff! GREY HACK
It's interesting to see how each little group Hi Jolly, I’ve been a fan of HackMaster
The Empty Chair of players wound up in a situation that more
or less reflected their personalities and
and KenzerCo from the very beginning (still
have my Kingdoms of Kalamar box set for
Eulogy for a Gamer groups. AD&D!).
Brian and Sara wound up debating The product I always wanted to see,
There is an empty chair, whether they should just have fun and get however, and was heart-broken when it was
at the table this day. some stuff (her perspective) or strategize shelved, was GreyHack (the HM4
and take advantage of every loophole and conversion of the Greyhawk setting).
A hallowed place where, opportunity to snag as much stuff as possible I know it will never see the light of day,
a friend once played. (his perspective), which somewhat mirrors but is there anything you could tell me about
Brian's getting in trouble by seeking every the product?
The roll of his dice, advantage and Sara acting as his moral
bodyguard. I am going to run a HackMaster
my ears long to hear. campaign in GreyHack pretty soon and
B.A. and Patty went off together, part of I would love to run it as close to the original
Or perhaps it would suffice, the group yet sticking together -- and setting as possible. Thank you very much!
if he should suddenly appear. getting locked out of the building together.
Evan Anhorn ^
With character sheet in hand, Bob was bragging about his skills ("King of
the Pallet Climbers" my foot!) and had to be
and a bag of helped out by Crutch -- who's been helping
Cheeze-doodles to share. Bob for a while now.
Dave was happy with his new big ass
All his friends would stand, sword ("You've already given your foam
as he sat in the empty chair. sword a name?") and armor -- and his other
mission was getting some more props in the
I hear his voice a-callin’, poles.
and it ties my heart in a knot. And Gordo, the nicest person in the group,
For he cries, is the one who reached out to the "Shadow
People" and negotiated their help. (And if,
“Though a comrade has fallen, for some reason, they can't carry out the loot
I hope Brian has the decency to reimburse
You must play for those who cannot.”
her for the payment.)
We conquered worlds on the run, I noticed that two of the pallets were
he and I in the name of fun. labeled as different types of artisan dice, plus GreyHack was completed and laid out for
Scratch-n-Sniff Dungeon Sets. publication. Including final art. I think the
And as others may come and go, manuscript weighed in at 156 pages.
Also, Dave's armor had "rental" written
I make both friend and foe. right across the front -- does Hard Eight Unfortunately, WotC dragged its feet on the
rent out armor or do they rent it out? Since it approval process and our D&D license was
But what I long for most, reaching the end of its six year window so it
was stored in their warehouse, I suspect it's
is our past now long a ghost. the former. was decided to shelve the project since there
were so many uncertainties.
We'll see if Brian's "plan" actually comes
Glen R. Blackburn together, if Hard Eight uses the sprinkler With the license expired it’s a work in legal
limbo, I’m afraid. Unless it was heavily
1930 — 2017 system to cancel the whole spree, or some
reworked and retooled.

All of which of course makes the book By the way good shading on the art to strips where the crew bends the rules to the
desireable for HackMaster 4e fans. For the show the rain effect. I know that's not easy limit.
moment we have no real plans to revisit the to do in all black and white as this comic is. GJ is going to have the battle of the rules
project. And it can’t be released as is. I also loved the way Sara turned the tables lawyers with Brian over how much and what
I know that’s not the answer you were hoping on Dave in the Men that Hack. they get to keep.
for but there’s the backstory. — Jolly By the way, are you guys sure that there Still waiting for B. A.'s recap of how the
was never a Charlie's Angels game session ending with a healing
“the game of PRISON ESCAPES” RPG? grenade.
only there WAS no Skytower ^ Randomizer ^
escape from that FUN-SUCK.
Thanks, I did struggle with
yeah — \ spent the ENTIRE game
in SOLITARY CONFINEMENT — over those panels of it raining in the ISH 245
12 hours with a BOX over my head. warehouse. — Jolly I really enjoyed this issue as well. It had
all because, STEVIL made me his not just a massive train wreck, but two
UNKNOWING MULE after slippin’ a \ rest NO PLAN parallel train wrecks:
SHIV in my pocket during my case.
WORK RELEASE. SURVIVES While the players were dealing with
everything from getting locked out of the
"No battle plan survives
building to dealing with the "Shadow
contact with the enemy."
People" to Bob hanging from a very high-up
- Helmuth von Moltke
pipe, the Hard Eight staff were watching it
"I love it when a plan all while wondering if the vague rules they
comes together." had laid down meant the players could get
- John "Hannibal" Smith away with all their product.
That basically sums up the I look forward to seeing what the players
strips from this great issue. As Brian’s plan to get to keep, and how that will affect the
loot the warehouse of the best items
PRISON ESCAPES unfolds, it goes off the rails in a train wreck
Dawg grudge match!
JimtheRed ^
Please tell me the game mentioned in you can't stop watching.
issue 246 is real. I WANT to play Prison Hard Eight is watching too on security FEELIN’ FOR EDDY
Escapes. And if it doesn’t it would make a cameras. Members get lost, pallets shift,
great strip. Just sayin’ The bit in 246 where we learn Eddie’s
alarms go off, and don't forget the Shadow parents made him burn his RPG books and
Mandy Price 7 People as the place becomes some dungeon his dad physically dragged him away from
crawl complete with traps.
ISSUE 245 the gaming table by the wrist got to me.
Crutch really is getting to use his life skills I actually experienced that in real life.
I think this issues proves that to go against here as we find out he's a licensed forklift
someone like Gary you need someone like operator that allows the Muncie Crew to Having him explain that to a non-gamer
Brian. reach the best loot that GJ had thought was was an interesting way to bring it out.
Even as Sara was urging him to abort, Gary safely out of reach. Plus we see him caring Kris K. 7 q
was planning to throw them all out, proba- for his little buddy Bob, as he tries to help
bly with nothing at all. him and revealing things from his past.
This is one of those times when Brian's As it comes down to maybe Brian and Sara
never-give-up-the-loot might pay off for having to carry out the loot, there's a nice
them. reference to AD&D with Brian planning to
I'm hoping that they do get that podium make a real life Tenser's Floating Disc.
to Nitro, he'd look impressive behind it. I won't mention spoilers about the last few
REMINDER: REVIEW MATERIAL,

KODT ART/ARTICLE SUBMISSIONS,
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR GO TO:
309 S. Dilger Ave,

Waukegan IL 60085

When the Sheet Hits the Fan* by jolly blackburn
THE FELTON RESIDENCE: it’s what’s the

THURSDAY NIGHT and the KNIGHTS HOLD UP, bob? WOW — \
have gathered together to still can’t
we’re ready
TOSS DICE and face anything and believe
to start.
everything the GAMEMASTER it, dude — one of us
can THROW at them.
FINALLY made
it — THIRD
for the past few months, B.A.
LEVEL!
has been running a fast and
furious, HACKNOIA CAMPAIGN. yeah, yeah -
hold your
tonight is a HISTORICAL NIGHT — horses.
for one of the PLAYERS has FINALLY
broken the “CEILING OF DEATH” and \’m just amen — you
has SURVIVED to see THIRD LEVEL. FINISHING should be
up here. PROUD, bob.
the FIRST at the table to do so...
\ can HARDLY yeah —\ thought SURE he

was a GONER when VINCE ONE in a THOUSAND apparently. \ KNEW HUMLEY
believe it myself —
HUMLEY threw that was playin’
GRENADE at him last week. LUGAR has CERTAINLY had BOTH SIDES.
LUGAR KRINGE THE III
a STREAK of GOOD LUCK.
nearly BOUGHT IT a
| CALLED IT...
dozen times over. dude FUMBLED and tossed a
DUD — what’re the ODDS?
REMEMBER?
\ KNEW he
was a KEEPER.
-s
c
-s ribb
cr
ibb le-
le-
“LUCK”...?!! luck didn’t have anything

well c’mon, dude — \’m ITCHIN’ to play.
to do with it — LUGAR earned every
E-PEE he’s SCRATCHED AND CLAWED for.
with a little luck \ might make it to THIRD LEVEL
myself — \ just need a few hundred points.
the man spent sorry - \
FIVE WEEKS in a wasn’t tryin’ \’m almost done —
HOSPITAL clingin’ to take any- um. new sheet?
you sayin’ \ just have to
to LIFE after a thing away
he DIDN’T? TRANSFER my
HEAD SHOT, sara. from him, bob. WEAPONS and
personal items
to the new sheet.
* The next 11 pages of strips were slated for the Men That Hack trade paperback which was just released. Ultimately, I went
over the alloted page count and this material was pulled. It stands well as a one-off however and is presented here. Enjoy!
— Jolly

yeah —\ picked his OLD SHEET was
up one of those whoah - whoah WHOAH — bob...?!! all GRUBBED UP.
PREMIUM hacknoia
CHARACTER DOSSIERS am \ to understand you just TRANSFERRED your
down at pete’s shop. character to a NEW SHEET...? please tell me you didn’t. besides — \ picked
up a SLEW of
new skills
you know — oh - bad when \ LEVELED.
to CELEBRATE. yeah. so...? idea, bob. dude -
what
what’s the uht oh... a VERY the HELL \ needed more room.
LUGAR BIG deal? bad idea. were you
earned it. THINKIN’?
“what’s the BIG DEAL”...?!!! sorry, bob — it’s the same regardless
of GENRE. some things you don’t do.
bob — you just signed oh — that
lugar’s DEATH WARRANT — old rule yep. same as
PAINTIN’
seriously...? you NEVER transfer that’s only up a mini
to a NEW sheet...! EVER! FANTASY RPGS. it is considered SPECIAL —
says
who...? bad practice. to represent
it doesn’t apply your character.
to MODERN ERA.
it’s the KISS
yer just INVITING
OF DEATH. fate to SCREW with ya.
PALEEZE - that’s just

an old TABLE TALE. alright guys — whatta ya say we get things rolling..?
something GROGNARDS
love to go on and on about.
the ADMINISTRATOR has an IMPORTANT okay. your funeral.
follow-up mission for you to tackle.
we all LIVE and
LUGAR’S special. DIE by the DICE.
let’s do it.
it’s going frickin’ A. just saying.
he deserves a
to be a \’m ready.
sheet worthy of
lonG night.
CHRONICLING
his LEGACY.
^ “\ thought this game was called hackmaster not ‘let’s

see-how-we-can-get-out-of-a-cesspool master.’”
—Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #38, Overcoming Disabilities

Bargain Bin Skills* by steve johansson
and jolly blackburn
LATER THAT SAME NIGHT...

darn — \ TUCK and bob — you FIRE and the
TUMBLE and take AGENT quickly ducks.
SARA — you cover behind the
attempt to LEAP WATER COOLER!
over the service FIVE OR SIX
counter and THREE shots strike the
shots are CABINET — but
fired at you. the FAT FOLDERS
filled with
BUREAUCRATIC
they were WILD stay down, RED TAPE and
and UNAIMED — sara. \’ll forms prevent
but one RICOCHETS give ya some them from
off a ROLODEX — COVER FIRE.
b.a. \ EMPTY a PENETRATING.
you’re hit for TWO
points by PLASTIC magazine at the
SHARDS. GOON hunkered
behind the FILING
CABINETS!!
unfortunately for YOU — AGENT HUMLEY has CIRCLED around

on you —through the SUPPLY CLOSET and LEAPS out at you. FRICK — where the HELL
did this GUY come from...?
HUMLEY...¿¡¡ that RAT BASTARD OOOOO —
“GOING TO MAKE COPIES” MY ASS. GET ‘IM \ thought
BOB!! you had EYES HELLO — \ got
slappin’ in another CLIP and LIGHTING HIM UP! on the WAYLAID by the
HALLWAY...? CLEANING WOMAN.
sorry —
he’s too
CLOSE
and TOO
fast.
this MISSION is a BUST, guys. \ knew this PLAN wouldn’t work.
she tried to GARROT me \ STRONGLY advise we WITHDRAW before its too late.
with a pair of PANTY HOSE.
yeah — if that um yeah. that CLEANING
hey - POSING as a CLEANING LADY LADY caught you ROCKING
VINYL SIDING SALES hadn’t STUCK her the VENDING MACHINES —
ended up in a TEAM was a GREAT idea. nose into things trying to SHAKE LOOSE
KNIFE FIGHT. — we would’ve a bag of FUNYUNS.
PULLED it off.
CRITS HAPPEN —
that’s all.
WITHDRAW...?!!
* This strip is a reimagined/expanded version of a two page strip written by Steve Johansson which appeared in KODT #89.
While giving it the ‘treatment’ for inclusion in the Men That Hack trade paper back it took on a life of its own. The following
two strips are the result. — Jolly

oh no — NO WAY! not on MY WATCH. bob — AGENT HUMLEY is on you like
a BRUISE on MIKE TYSON’S face.
\ PROMISED the ADMINISTRATOR we’d take out the
MAIN COM LINK on this facility — and \ AIM to do it. he CLOCKS you with a RIGHT for
SIX POINTS of CONTUSION DAMAGE.
hey — \ FED that brian — if we’re
CAPTURED — we they don’t hand oh - okay.
machine a BUCK FIFTY out E-PEES or a satisfied
in CANADIAN NICKLES EXPOSE the
ENTIRE agency. story awards SMILE so he wants to
for RUNNIN’ sweeps his go OLD SCHOOL,
- it ripped me off. away, agent dawn. dimpled face. does he...?
FINE! \’ll
punch that
ticket.
oh wow — kewl beans, dude. the COSTS per move

were INSANELY low...
it just so hell yeah — lay some MARTIAL
happens \ have a ARTS SMACK DOWN on this guy. \ grabbed a BUTTLOAD
MASTERY in TAI CHI. of ‘em. check it out.
98%
um... “TAI CHI” you say? PERCENT? parting the horse’s
mane, repel the monkey,
yep - to the oh this cloud hands left and right,
heh - \’m tune of 98%. guy is step up to seven stars,
about to TOAST. bend bow to shoot the
KICK this \ took ALL kinds of tiger, grab the bird’s tail...
guy’s ass. MOVES when \ LEVELED up.
“REPEL THE how the HELL did you AFFORD ‘em all...? oh, um — well okay, bob.
MONKEY”...?
after buying CRACK SHOT when \ made 2nd LEVEL
— \ was suckin’ fumes on BUILDING POINTS.
damn — this should prove
that DOES tai chi...? oh but, bob. VERY interesting.
sound wicked. that’s just it. the
MOVES were only
tai chi isn’t a.... note to
1-2 points per.
self — next
sara - hush.
heh - \’m character
\ BLEW 25 points and this will be lookin’ take TAI CHI.
GRABBED ‘em all. HILARIOUS. FORWARD
to this.
e
bl
rib le
sc ribb
sc
^ “ummmm… they made the BIBLE into a HACKMASTER SUPPLEMENT?”

—B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #78, You Say it’s your Birthday…

dude - look at B.A.’s face — HAAA — he’s so RATTLED. TAI CHI is an ANCIENT
MEDITATIVE ART — not something
he TOTALLY didn’t see it coming! out of a JACKIE CHAN movie.
it just so happens, b.a. isn’t the ONLY what are you

HUMLEY is a BLACK one who didn’t see TALKIN’ about?
TRAITOR has
BELT in TAEKWONDO it comin’. -snicker-
this comin’.
‘fraid
guess we’ll see everyone not, guys.
it’s a
how he STACKS up my money’s knows
bob... COMBAT
against your skills. on bob! THAT, sara.
aaah - SKILL!
wait... don’t spoil
whatever. isn’t it, sara.
gonna save im.
its ORIGINS may be rooted huh...? just a SIMPLE meditative

in the MARTIAL ARTS but it’s what about “BEND move designed to release
best known for its HEALTH BOW TO SHOOT energy, guys. sorry.
BENEFITS and reducing STRESS. THE TIGER”...?
a-are you
SCREWIN’ \ took a TAI
with me...? that sounds CHI class in
BAD ASS. HIGH SCHOOL.
granted —you sara’s
might LOOK right, bob.
good doing
it — but \’m
afraid you
won’t be
dealing out a
lot of damage.
this BLOWS.
not going to be much use in HAND TO
HAND. see...? — this is what happens no wonder
are you frickin’ \ marked
when you don’t pay ATTENTION those classes
KIDDING ME...? off RAP
spending your BUILDING POINTS. at the “Y” are
BRAWLING
and STREET filled with
CRED to take OLD PEOPLE.
the COST should’ve
been a TIP OFF. these MOVES.
it’s ONE-TENTH the

B-PEE BUILD to
learn as KARATE.
^ “PIN WORMS MY ASS! those little BASTARDS ate a HOLE through my SMALL INTESTINE and
KILLED four HENCHMEN before dave was able to DOUSE them with FLAMING OIL and TORCH them.”
—Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #41, One-Two Punches

HUMLEY grins a DEVILISH GRIN as he unbuttons
YO - stop right there. | GOT
his suit jacket and drops it to the ground.
THIS — you hear? stay out of it.
eh — pay it no mind, dude. he’s just

tryin’ to SCREW with your head. what the hell’s good call, bob.
WRONG with you?
loosening his TIE
and untucking his STALL FOR TIME. once \ backin’ down from
\’m no SLOUCH!! a mano-a-mano
shirt he SQUARES LOW CRAWL a few feet, \
off with you. can get a BEAD on this CLOWN. engagement is
\’ve got a a -7 HONOR hit.
SIXTEEN
strength
do \ look and a 15 dex sorry.
my BAD. you don’t want
SCARED? after all. that ANCHOR.
maybe this guy okay, b.a. — \ do some POSTURING as well.

doesn’t know
what TAI CHI is. the whole LOOSENING the tie routine. the CRIT-EATING GRIN.
\’m gonna BLUFF ‘im. \ shrug off his punch and say, “THAT ALL YOU GOT, PUFFED WHEAT”...?!!
execute a series
then \, um, \ do that “PARTING the HORSE’S that should \ should
of moves to show
MANE” thing - and \ throw in a couple of make an say so.
him how SPRY
“HAND STRUM OF THE LUTE” moves. IMPRESSION.
on my feet \ am.
oh. okay.
three rounds later…
HUMLEY’s kick sends you backwards — you FLIP over the COUNTER and
SMASH head first into a MAGAZINE RACK. copies of NEWSWEEK, VOGUE,
GQ and SUBSCRIPTION INSERTS go sliding across the FLOOR along with you. tai chi
NOT useful...
that’s good
dude - don’t do that hmmm — interesting mix to know.
at the SAME time you are
“STEP BACK AND RIDE of TAEKWONDO and
BEANED in the back of
THE TIGER move again DIRTY FIGHTING humley
the SKULL with a HURLED
— it REALLY seems has going on there.
paper weight used as
an IMPROVISED WEAPON. to PISS him off.
so my PANDA
YAWNS move
had no EFFECT? ch
-
at e-
cr
-s eras
-
^ “well, when FIRE BLOSSOM first joined the group STEVIL wasn’t too FOND of her. he dipped her
in HONEY while she was sleeping and tossed her on a FIRE ANT HILL! \ barely escaped with my life!”
—Gordo Sheckberry, KODT Issue #41, One-Two Punches

The Crack Shot by steve johansson
and jolly blackburn
several rounds later still...
the AGILE agent does a HANDSPRING over the desk delivering an EXPERT double-kneed
DROP KICK on your spine. the IMPACT smashes your FACE into the TILED floor chipping a t0oth.
GAAAA...¡¡¡ damn - he’s this is BRUTAL. poor

HUMLEY then falls back \-\ try to BEATING you like bob. he hasn’t gotten
into a READIED position RETRIEVE my a RED HEADED a SINGLE blow in.
step child, dude. yeah - this is
and MOTIONS for you BELT BUCKLE
tough to watch.
to get on your feet. KNIFE again!
hey — you got
any more of
those MINTS?
a bit later... HUMLEY sweeps your knee, bob — you go

DOWN and he’s on you like a CAT on a MOUSE.
HUMLEY savagely grabs your right hand
and violently WRENCHES it backwards he executes a series of RABBIT-JABS to your THROAT!
SNAPPING YOUR WRIST as you DROP the knife. dude — say
sara — you the word!
darn — \
at the same time try makin’ it
\-\ COUNTER with DIVE for cover!
he brings his across the \’m in
“SNAKE CREEPS DOWN
KNEE down with room and position to
LEFT” and “WHITE CRANE
a CRASHING BLOW immediately execute a
SPREADS ITS WINGS”...! dammit. \ can’t
into the SMALL of draw fire. MERCY SHOT!
watch anymore.
your already
BRUISED back. -firp- “cloud
hands going left” — we’ve got
“CLOUD HANDS to INTERVENE.
GOING LEFT”...!!!
fun’s fun but any more of this ABUSE

and LUGAR won’t be MISSION CAPABLE. but \ have PARTIAL WHOAH — WHAT...?!!!
LINE OF SIGHT — \’m
we NEED his SECURITY ENGINEERING gonna take a CHANCE — FIRE INTO MELEE..?!!!
skills to take out that DISH.
and FIRE INTO MELEE. are you NUTS...?!!
if you mean he’ll be DEAD,

\ agree — but what can we well - that NEVER
do? we’re all PINNED down. goes well, dude.
it goes
against
my RULE...
^ “no! after WITNESSING you getting your BUTT kicked by a bunch of GNOMES and then CROAKING
after drinking a GUT BRUISER he didn’t think you’d have the SAND to challenge him to a fight.”
—B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #46, Erik of the Twelve Scars

you’ll hit ME — you hear? this isn’t the CRAP SHOOT you think it is —
there are a few MODIFIERS \ can STACK.
don’t do it, BIG GUY — \’m tellin’ ya.
first off — the contrast between
but, dude — he’s our MATTE BLACK AGENCY ISSUE
MOPPIN’ the FLOOR bob — we need
SUITS and this guy’s WHITE SHIRT...
with your FACE! to PULL OUT.
that’s gotta be worth a +1 — EASY.
look — \ only need and we can’t
ONE lucky punch. leave you behind.
AND — \’m lying PRONE under a desk — now
sure —
besides — it’s nobody’s firing from a PRONE POSITION is another +2.
but your
NON LETHAL damage. DIGNITY pullin’ out.
also, \’m what...? 30 - 40 feet away? that’s still
won’t.
\ can now hear CLOSE RANGE — so no NEGATIVE modifiers there.
SURVIVE this. me out, bob.
sure — FUMBLES HAPPEN. um — minus FOUR -sputter-

\’ll grant you that. for firing into a HAND-
that’s ALWAYS a risk on the table. TO-HAND BRAWL, brian. TOO THIN, BRIAN.
but — with my MARKSMANSHIP score? or did you FORGET that? TOO THIN!!
\ should have an OVERALL +4.
so it’s don’t RISK
a WASH. it — you
yer not
HEAR ME?
\ don’t HELPING, sara.
see how \
can MISS.
LUGAR ain’t
goin’ out
like that.
he’s come
too far.
okay hot shot — while you’ve been chewin’ the fat \’m in a GOOD POSITION now —
with your fellow agents — \’m just gonna ASSUME
you’re just STANDING THERE not DEFENDING yourself. \’m PINNED down but \
can SQUEEZE OFF a shot.
GRRRUUP — \ execute no, dave.

HUMLEY ratchets “GRASP THE BIRD’S TAIL”...!! no — not you.
for the
your ARM behind hey —
your back followed by “CARRY LAST time - \ mean
and TWISTS it. THE TIGER OVER DUDE... at HUMLEY.
THE MOUNTAIN”...!! \ don’t want a
MERCY shot.
make a
SAVE to
see if you
PASS out
from the
excruciating
pain.
^ “uh huh -- what’d \ TELL you MORONS. the BIG GUY has more ANGLES than a THIRTY SIDER.”
—Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #121, One Binder to Rue Them All…

indeed. the +1
you’re forgettin’ — twenty feet is what — POINT BLANK? for CONTRAST.
\’m a CRACK SHOT. whadda

and that OTHER and a +1 if you
ya know.
stuff brian BRACE yer gun.
\’d get mentioned... - dave may
yeah — hey. holy moly.
a +4 just be on to
for that. \’d be able to something.
that’d be a an overall
STACK some of
+2 right there. +4 after the
THOSE \ bet.
hit for firing
and \’m into melee.
CLOSER
than the
BIG GUY.
do it dave. h-hold on...

dude - \ GOT this. the ODDS are
\-\ REALLY don’t pretty good, bob.
TAKE THE why are we
feel comfortable my dice have been TALKING? he has
SHOT!!!
about this... on FIRE tonight. no SAY in this.
70% or better.
maybe if you DAVE - TAKE
\ FEEL it.
LAYED prone - THE SHOT!!!!
get that EXTRA +1...
GEEZUS — enough with it MISSES — but it’s CLEAR someone is tryin’ to FLUSH you out.
the META GAMING, guys.
sara — you notice a string of SHADOWS racing back lit by
the WINDOWS in the CONFERENCE ROOM — it would APPEAR
the CLOCK’S been reinforcements have ARRIVED and they are TAKING position.
tickin’ this ENTIRE time.
bob, as you try to CRAWL AWAY, humley GRABS you
by your ANKLES to DRAG you back —but they are damn —
SLICK with your OWN blood and he loses his grip.
dave — things are
someone REALLY
in ANGER he ELBOW SMASHES now that was just
takes a lookin’ GRIM.
you in the BACK of the CALF. GRATUITOUS of him.
SHOT at you.
dick!
^ “guys?? PA-LEEZE!!! it was just a ‘CURIOUS glance!’ don’t you think you’re OVERREACTING
a WEE BIT? this is a TAVERN - not the BROOD CHAMBER of a SWACK IRON DRAGON!”
—Sara Felton, KODT Issue #46, Hack and Roll All Night

-sigh- so you say you’d be just be careful — ‘kay..? you got that right.
pullin’ a +4 on that shot..?
and yer paying the DRY \ got charged $156.22 for
you’re sure about the MATH? “excessive wear” when \
CLEANING BILL if \ end up with
POWDER RESIDUE on my suit. turned in my BULLET-PROOF
brian confirmed it. VEST after the last op.
\ can DO this, dude.. those guys in SUPPLY are
FRICKIN’ ANAL when it comes we’ll TRY and draw
well - okay. to turning in equipment. fire from you, dave.
go ahead and now yer talkin’.
GOOD LUCK!
TAKE it \ guess. you got
it, man.
okay, dave — the two of \’m doin’ a KIRK SHOULDER roll from behind the POTTED
‘em are MIXING it up PLANT to the LOUNGE CHAIR —— just to HEDGE my bet.
pretty good. BOB is then \ POP UP resting on ONE KNEE
being thrown around
like a RAG DOLL.
BRACING my weapon on the BACK of the chair.
but they are laying down
CLEARLY in some covering
your FIELD okay — make it dude - \’m a fire here!
of view count, CRACK SHOT.
from your go ahead dave.
VANTAGE point. and ROLL.
frickin’ A. KA-BOOM¡¡¡ -KA-CHUNK-
pumpin’
off THREE KA-BOOM¡¡ — TAKE THAT HUMLEY¡¡ -KA-CHUNK-
SHOTS HERE.
g
KA_BOOM¡¡¡
g z
^ “good job, bob. sorry \ wasn’t THERE for ya. if that frickin’ LEMUR hadn’t
SHOVED me into that SPIKED PIT, \ would’ve had your BACK covered for sure.”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #48, Got You Under My Spell

d-dude — WHAT THE S-SHOT GUN...¿¡¡¡
FRICK WAS THAT...?!!
it’s RIGGED with a SCRATCH
BUILT modified trigger housing.
y-you just
huh...? oh — my BENELLI fired a an INNER-THIGH MASTER
SUPER 90 PUMP-ACTION SCATTER- WHAT quick release holster and
SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN. GUN...? THE SAM tricked out with a PISTOL GRIP.
FRICK...¿¡¡
into
-sputter- uh oh. MOP UP
MELEE...?!! sweet
in AISLE 3!!
geezus...
-s
h
-s ook
ho
ok a-
a-
several damage rolls later...
bob six more pellets of BUCKSHOT tear through

HAAA! check it
your torso — causing SEVERAL MORTAL WOUNDS
out — \ rolled
an EIGHTEEN!
a RUPTURED AORTA, a collapsed
LUNG, a PERFORATED LEFT VENTRICLE…
SWEET..¡¡
one pellet hits you in the RIGHT EYE.
TWO strike you in the LARYNX...
moments later...
see..? NEVER
transfer a
damn — he ALMOST character to
made it to the door... a NEW sheet.
he PAUSED a
BOB took him down SECOND too long
with a FLYING TACKLE. FUMBLING for you’re just
his car keys. asking for trouble.
-FINIS-
Note — in the original two page strip it was Brian who fired a scatter gun at Bob. As the ‘editor’s cut’ unfolded the story
expanded it struck me that Dave was probably more likely to pull such a blunder. So I changed it up. Of course — it could have
been written off as Brian just being a dick. — Jolly

The Cake Walk by jolly blackburn
guys,
yeah — you HAD us at “CAPITAL CITY” and
seriously.
“OVERLORD”. if NEW DETROIT is where it’s
you REALLY need
HAPPENING — we want to be there.
to RETHINK
this plan.
NEW DETROIT is
not SOMEPLACE did \ mention STORM TROOPERS, but we ALSO know
you should be consid- CYBER-DOGS, drones, SLAY-CHOP- they collect all
ering GOING — not PERS, internment camps, BRUTAL the BEST pre-
at YOUR level. dictatorship, indoctrination centers... apocalyptic tech
and WAREHOUSE
it there, b.a.
sounding better
and better.
what’s to
THINK
about?
\ don’t know WHAT you’re

c’mon, b.a. we’ve GOT a plan. it’s a GOOD plan.
worried about. we’re
just going to go have
a little LOOK SEE.
me too — although \’m
besides - \’m achin’ STILL a little PISSED
slip into the city,
to try out my NEW about that “POWER CELL
reconnoitre. sweet. let’s
power armor. NOT INCLUDED” bull crap
gather some intel. DO this folks.
on my USED suit.
IN and OUT.
-sigh- \ REALLY liked
okay - but this character.
it’ll be you’ve
a CAKE WALK. been warned.
later that same night... CRAP — there’s a frickin’ GUARD?
\ traded a GOOD pair of WRIST THRUSTERS

as you approach the BACK for that INTEL — that damn JUICER BOY screwed me.
GATE of NEW DETROIT a very
large GUARD in TECH ARMOR you should have
and brandishing a WASTER-RIFLE spent the 5,000
steps out of the GUARD SHACK. “travel papers PAPERS?? CREDITS for
and I.D. please!” FORGED DOCUMENTS
I.D.?? dave — just like
“HALT...¡¡¡”
b.a. does he have his the REST of us.
he barks. \ ain’t
WEAPON readied?
got any. 5,000??
HAA — you
yes and pointed paid too much.
“TRAVEL
RIGHT at you.
PAPERS and
IDENTIFICATION!”
crap.
* This was originally a two page strip that appeared in The Rifter way back in 1998. Remastered, expanded and massaged into
a seven page story. There have been a handful of “Grunge Warrior” strips in KODT over the years. I’d really like to return to the
genre for a longer arc at some point. Until then... — Jolly

don’t sweat it dude, — \’ll get you in.
\ was able to HAGGLE my
documentation down to \’ll create a little DIVERSION
TWO HUNDRED credits. so you can slip by this goon.
we can all MEET UP at SCAR’S CANTINA.

nice. \ just hope you uht
didn’t buy it from the oh...
SAME guy who sold you DIVERSION...?
oh frickin’ A. oh gawd.
that BAD information.
first ROUND of
this is going you got
DRINKS are on me.
to END badly. THAT
huh...?
right.
b.a. — \ step AWAY from yeah — how ‘bout

whadda ya MEAN you’re not
those two. \ make it havin’ a little FAITH
“WITH US”...? HUH...?
ABUNDANTLY clear to the in bob why don’t ya...?
guard that \’m NOT with them.
\’m just gonna create a SIMPLE
little diversion so our COMRADE he’s DONE this sort
yeah, \’m can slip by this MORON!! of thing BEFORE you know.
with her.
me too. you two start

acting all just be CAREFUL. the
FIDGETY and guy has a WASTER RIFLE
NERVOUS yer for cryin’ out loud.
gonna RUIN it.
exactly.
okay b.a., listen up.

we’ve got IMPORTANT
business to conduct \’m going to PRETEND \’m
at this OUTPOST. having a HEART ATTACK. ooo — while he’s doing
that, \ AVERT my eyes and
\ make it look REAL GOOD. CROUCH down REALLY LOW.
just don’t do
\ fall to my knees, CLUTCH my chest. then MOVE past the guard.
anything STUPID.
GASP FOR AIR — then collapse.
\ even thrash around for a few moments you’re so much for

CROUCHING? not doing
kicking up dust and gurgling and so forth.
anything
that should get the GUARD’s attention. STUPID.
^ “so THAT’S what an ANKLE BRACELET OF GENDER BENDER does.”

—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #44, One-Two Punches

hold on a second, wiseguys!! after all, these guys are charged with protecting
the OUT POST and ultimately the OVERLORD himself.
why do you idiots
always assume GUARDS
besides, they are symbols of the OVERLORD’S strength and might -
are SIMPLE “MORONS”...?
often the FIRST impression strangers and foreigners have of NEW DETROIT.
as easily DUPED or FOOLED as

this guard is ALSO experienced. you yeah.
some THREE YEAR OLD CHILD??
think you’re the FIRST visitors to still going with the me too.
try and get one OVER on him.? “\’m not with them”
stance here b.a. \’m getting
HUH?? only out my
the BEST highly what’s your point? papers.
trained troopers
in the ALLIANCE
are selected
for GATE DUTY!!
MY POINT....?! my point is, \ don’t

the GUARD watches you
think this guy is gonna fall for the OLD we might end up CROUCHING and DUCK
“\’m having a heart attack” routine. being on our WALKING along as you try
OWN, big guy. to SLIP past him, dave.
and \ don’t think he’s gonna let
DAVE SLIP PAST him just because
DAVE refuses to make eye contact. shhh - don’t
TALK to me. he SWINGS the BARREL of his
hey \’m CROUCHING! WASTER to BEAR on you.
dave he’s \ don’t know
LOOKING YOU from adam.
right and \’m THRASHING
AT you. and TWITCHIN’
you hear the DEEP tell

tale sound of the PULSE GAAA — \ get back in line! oh — he CASUALLY
ENERGIZERS powering up
gives you a GLANCE.
on the weapon — as if to
EMPHASIZE his words.
doesn’t seem to be
oh c’mon. \’m too interested.
SATISFIED - the DYING here.
“FALL BACK guard RESUMES
IN LINE — OR scrutinizing doesn’t he even
PREPARE to sara and brian’s WHAT...¿¡¡
REACT to my
be TURNED documents. CARDIAC ARREST?
TO ASH!” man. this dude
is COLD
BLOODED.
^ “well, to be honest he WAS a bit DISTRACTED. just BEFORE his FATEFUL ENCOUNTER he had the
GREAT MISFORTUNE to TUMBLE down a SLIDING CHUTE right into a NEST of VORACIOUS GROIN
LEECHES! understandably, he was in a bit of a HURRY to shed his ARMOR and administer FIRST
AID. that’s when the LURKER made his move.” —Cody Winkle, Bundle of Trouble #19, Ready, Set, Bet

WADDA YA MEAN welcome to the POST APOCALYPTIC WORLD of GRUNGE WARRIORS, bob.
he’s not
INTERESTED..? life on the CHARRED LANDSCAPE of what was ONCE a THRIVING SOCIETY
is CHEAP here — and DEATH all too frequent and of NO CONSEQUENCE.
THE BASTARD.
NEW DETROIT is a DICTATOR-POLICE STATE!! the locals
\’m literally RIGHT aren’t KEEN on showing MERCY or COMPASSION! he’s got that
THERE — dying right. you seen the
on his watch! REACTION TABLES
those QUALITIES don’t really LEND themselves in the book?
toward SURVIVAL. but a HARDENED HEART often does.
they’re brutal.
but \’m
a PC!!
no bob — to this SEASONED

besides — with all your THRASHING and ROLLING about —
VETERAN you are just ANOTHER
scrub in a SECOND-HAND
you’re OUTSIDE the DEMARCATED LINE that
powered armor suit who has
defines the EDGE of his guard perimeter.
come in from the WASTES
\ got your back dude.

b.a. \ drag BOB’s \ ask him if
like COUNTLESS making you body toward the there is a
nameless souls NOT his guardshack. PROBLEM with
before you. problem. my documents.
is he WITHIN the
perimeter now??
okay — \’m STEPPIN’ up my game.

the guard glances up and
says, “no, MS. TAILWINDER...” \ HOLD MY BREATH until \ turn PURPLE.
“your paperwork seems

to be IMPECCABLE...” \ cry out for my MOTHER. my kids. \ dont’ understand what
the problem is, sir.
tryin’ to TRIGGER
“just HOLD something in this guy. is yeah, hurry
he showing any concern...? \’m not WITH up, BARNEY
FAST — \’ll these guys.
get to you in FIFE. \ got
a MOMENT.” annoyed...? THINGS
no - but he looks to do!
GREATLY annoyed.
^ “excuse me, BRIAN, but \’m going to have to WARN you once AGAIN that you are so much ‘BEEF
STEW’ SLOSHING around in sara’s SHIELD at the moment. REFRAIN from commenting on the CURRENT
situation to the other characters. ” —B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #48, One Ring to Fool Them All

sara, the guard looks at you and says, “the REST of b.a. — since, BOB is
you better start UNCONSCIOUS \ PICK
“it’s your associate, AMBASSADOR PRODUCING your his pockets and ACQUIRE
KEEGLE. \’m a little concerned with” paperwork...” his documentation and I.D.
he motions toward brian — “my TRIGGER

“and certain aspects finger is starting
of his traveling papers.” to twitch.” \ PRESENT
them to
“ambassador”..? oh - not MY the GUARD
associate. \ as my own!
say what...? don’t know him.
MY PAPERS are a CONCERN...? “oh — right...” the guard

-sputter- hey - my says, FEIGNING surprise.
character thinks hey — everything is KOSHER
W-WHAT you’re DEAD. and on the UP AND UP!!
THE HELL “it’s ‘AMBASSADOR’
ARE YOU you didn’t \’m a very IMPORTANT PERSON. KEEGLE isn’t it...?”
DOING, explain your
DUDE...?!! PLAN to him. \ advise him not to
MESS with me. “of the
FEDERATED
\’m spending STATES OF
three points of IDAHO it
INTIMIDATION says here....”
for effect.
oh the HELL with this. the EARLY WARNING SELF-ACTUATING WRIST-PEPPER

SPRAY MODULE on my POWERED ARMOR suit
\ makes a SPEEDY prepare for DETERS bob from attacking and/or harming me.
RECOVERY!! the TASTE of ALLOY
STEEL knuckles with if that doesn’t work \’ll deploy my SHIN GUARD
DAMAGE-BOOSTING ANTI-PERSONNEL CLAYMORE MINES panels on him!!
chromium SPIKES!
z
\ JUMP up and
TACKLE DAVE!! so — this GUARD
FINALLY noticed
my RANK and
POSITION eh?
oka-
-sho oka-
-sho
^ “you’re PARANOID, bob. he ALWAYS takes his NOTES with him when he goes to the BATHROOM. ever
since that time he came back and CAUGHT you ‘looking’ for a PENCIL SHARPENER behind his screen and
taking CRIB NOTES.” —Sara Felton, KODT Issue #123, Hard Headed Woman

now that \’ve COMMANDED his the guard SMIRKS but it’s a FLEETING SMIRK, brian.
respect — \’ll lay on the INTIMIDATION
and IMPLIED THREATS fairly heavily. “um, ‘mr. ambassador’ — NEW IDAHO has been a CHARRED
RADIOACTIVE SALT FLAT for the last THIRTY FIVE YEARS!!”
spending three more
points of INTIMIDATION. and \’m afraid your UNIVERSAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER is
totally BOGUS.!! the last four digits do not match
\ ask for his badge number, his the DATA on your TRAVEL PAPERS. care to explain...??”
supervisor’s name and so forth.
\’m prepping
\ kick dave in the uh...er...uh… \…
then \’ll BERATE a HELL BOY
groin with my \… \’ve been sick.
him for various MISSILE here!
KUNG-FU ACTION
uniform violations MECHA-SANDALS!
and short-
comings just to
add some STING.
(snicker)
the guard also notices that the INK on

so — you’re PRETENDING your TRAVEL DOCS has begun to RUN and
to be a POLITICAL FIGURE SMEAR from the MOISTURE of his fingers. he HITS the SWITCH
from a COUNTRY that
on his HELMET
doesn’t even EXIST...?!! “THESE ARE OBVIOUSLY FAKE - MIC and calls for
AMATEURISH ATTEMPTS AT BEST!!” an ARMED
GUARD DETACHMENT
dammit — \ FORGOT they to HAUL you away.
“sir, the PENALTY for
forwarded the TIME
presenting FORGED
LINE on the setting
DOCUMENTS to an
between EDITIONS.
IMPERIAL OFFICIAL
is DEATH BY TORTURE!”
“consider yourself
DETAINED for
FURTHER questioning.”
um... b.a. \ DRAW my SIDE the guard THANKS you, sara. he tells you he has
ARM and point it at BRIAN. the MATTER under control and that you can
PROCEED with your business and ENTER the OUTPOST.
“good job, you want some MORE..? stay down HELL - oh... well
TROOPER...” huh...? well DO YA? \ use my ANKLE THANK you
LIFTERS to TROOPER.
\’ll HELP you STAY DOWN, dude! UPRIGHT myself!
COVER him.”
^“fact is \’m SURE \’m not alone. c’mon guys…

SHOW OF HANDS!! who here has LEARNED their LESSON?”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #124, If Not for the Bullet

REALLY, SARA...? you’re just \ RABBIT-PUNCH you in the KIDNEYS. \’m UPPING my
gonna BAIL - leave me BEHIND...?
PERSONAL
then \ RAKE-STRIKE your THROAT SHIELDS and
with my VIBRATING-SHANK KNIFE!! LAUNCHING
friends don’t DO
that — \ thought our MISSILES
characters were TIGHT. at you!
bob, the guard... um.
oh, \’m sorry. \ don’t know

you from ADAM - remember..?
BOB!!!
huh...? what is it? HELL BOY AWAY!!!

wait — you what...? yeah. so...?
\ kinda got my b.a., \ LOB a
HANDS FULL here... missile at BOB - A HELL BOY...¿¡¡¡ this is
it DETONATES
PERSONAL.
the GUARD has suddenly on IMPACT!
dude - you
taken a GREAT INTEREST 25x100d of
IDIOT.
in you — he’s NOTICED damage
your SPEEDY RECOVERY. y-you
that’s a comin’ your
launched a
PERSONAL WAY, dude!
HELL BOY??
he DEMANDS to see NUKE!
your DOCUMENTS.
moments later...
says here well... \ HAVE to say — you wanted to make an IMPACT on the world, guys.
the AREA OF
EFFECT is...um.... and you have. dave’s NUKE takes out the GUARD, the GUARD POST, the
OUTER SOUTHERN SETTLEMENTS of NEW DETROIT, a URANIUM FARM, a
1.75 MILES...¿¡¡ CONVOY of PEACE KEEPING DELEGATES on their WAY to the OUTPOST
to negotiate with the OVERLORD an END to the CITY STATE WARS...
the INCIDENT is seen as an ACT OF BETRAYAL by BOTH SIDES which

serve to ESCALATE hostilities resulting in even MORE death and mayhem.
well. more of a
not that it CONCERNS \ had my
BAKE WALK then done in by
you. you are ALL dead. SHIELDS up! a CAKE WALK. WEAPONIZED
STUPIDITY.
-FINIS-
^ “by the way, sara… you’re not still SORE or anything about LAST week are ya?
oh, well, um… you know. about the TORCH thing… and ummm, losin’ the eye.”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #122, Just for the Flaw of it

Stop Dragon My Heart Around by jolly r. blackburn
STEP INTO THE WAY, the ONE-TWO PUNCH of brian’s PIERCING FLAMING ARROW
WAY BACK MACHINE spell coupled with DAVE’s skull smash tips the scales.
this is a re-tooled/reimagined finally — after a long and

valiant battle, you manage
VARIANT of an old classic KODT to slay the ANCIENT BLACK
STRIP that originally appeared in DRAGON, RUDGER’DANE.
SHADIS MAGAZINE back in 1993.*
the ENORMOUS BEAST
collapses — in his DEATH
\’ve been meaning to share THROES, his great
it for a while. so finally leathery WINGS buffet
— here it is. enjoy — jolly you with a rush of air
and dungeon debris
“in the dungeon, the
mighty dungeon, a
DRAGON dies tonight”...
then SILENCE falls

over the CHAMBER. HOODY FRICKIN’ HOO¡¡¡
YEES!! WE \ can’t believe it...
you STAND there —
WE RULE...¿¡¡ KICKED
HIS ASS!! \ thought SURE we
panting for breath, were GONERS when
drenched in your he BREATHED that
own sweat and CONE OF ACID at us.
blood from the
RIGORS of battle.
SWEET — we’re
lookin’ at a MAJOR
before you, in payday here, folks.
a BLOODY HEAP
— lies the
MIGHTY DRAGON. \ TOLD ya
those new
TACTICALS \
CRUNCHED
would give
us the EDGE.
okay — it’s TREASURE TIME. \’m searchin’ too!! how in

b.a. — \’m castin’ the HELL
\’m searchin’ the room, b.a. \’m breakin’ out did they
NURGAIN’S
my WHEELED SACK take out a
HORSELESS CART. DRAGON?
OF LOOTAGE.
what’d \ find? huh?
also INVISIBLE HOLY CRAP.
\ need to
not too FAST now. PORTER to help
hey, are there MINIMIZE
LOAD STUFF. the IMPACT.
any magical
swords??
\’m makin’
3d4 should
h
a LIST.
appear.
* The original one-page version of this strip appeared in SHADIS Magazine #10 (November 1993) and was the sixth Knights
of the Dinner Table strip to ever be published. It’s worth noting that Sara did not appear in the original strip. She wouldn’t be
introduced to the strip for another year or so. You can find the original in Tales From the Vault Volume 1. — Jolly

now —
um..., well. you before you
DO a thorough search S-SAY WHAT...¿¡¡
KNEEJERK...
of the CHAMBER and, um...
you’re TEASING.
there’s a
THAT’S IT...?!! perfectly
you find 75 COPPER PIECES, surely.
good
a RUSTY DAGGER and a pair explanation
of old worn-out boots. just so we understand each as to why
other — \ was doin’ a FULL um, you ARE
there...
SEARCH of the chamber, b.a. teasing. right, b.a.?
what SIZE are 75 stinkin’

noted, bob. sorry.
the boots..? COPPER
that’s ALL you find.
PIECES...?!
OH, | AIN’T BELIEVING THIS...! brian, what’s the

HACKLOPEDIA OF BEASTS
he’s doing it AGAIN! say about the YIELD
for BLACK DRAGONS...?
WHOEVER HEARD OF the BASTARD! he’s
tryin’ to put the
A POOR DRAGON...¿¡¡ you kidding...? a
SCREWS to us.
DRAGON of THIS
age category...?
and a BLACK
DRAGON to boot..?
we’re talkin’ TENS OF c’mon, b.a....

AH HAAA!! just what \ thought.
THOUSANDS in coinage alone.
HONESTLY? why are you
you ARE holdin’ out on us! JERKIN’ us around?
silver, electrum, gold, platinum.
not to MENTION YOU — YOU CHISELER....¡¡¡¡

it DOES seem a
gems and jewelry. little LIGHT on the
KASKIAN RISK vs.
REWARD scale, cuz.
a MINIMUM of you’d better get | ACCUSE!!
FIVE that FINGER out
magic items. of my FACE, bob.
^ “having THE RAV’S kid sister pop up on the RANDOM ENCOUNTER

TABLES as a third-rate WATERFRONT WHORE hit me pretty hard.”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #37, Room to Improve

whoah — SLOW YER ROLL. RUDGER’DANE’S hoard was stolen by ANOTHER adventuring party!!
before you start just hours before you yourselves arrived.

“ACCUSING” me of anything
let me POINT something out. shya’right — you’re just
WHAT...¿¡¡ MAKIN’ THAT UP. you
in fact the screwed up and now
DRAGON was you’re trying to cover it.
it JUST still WINDED
and NURSING ANOTHER let me
so happens he’s FAST on
his wounds party took see if \’ve
you weren’t his feet — \’ll
— from the OUR loot? got this
the FIRST give him that.
previous straight...
ONES here.
BATTLE.
this stinks, b.a.!

so —this OTHER PARTY well okay then...
just walked away..? we didn’t hear sounds of
with OUR treasure...? BATTLE if it “JUST” happened..? this “OTHER” party
couldn’t have gotten
where’s the BLOOD trail...? FAR — loaded down FAT
and RUDGER’DANE with coin and treasure.
was simply “WINDED”...?
the damn thing was
what self respecting SLEEPING when we WALKED in.
we’re gonna TRACK
DRAGON lets someone their ASS — we
make off with his HOARD — you SAID!
it just EARNED that hoard.
while he’s STILL standing...? doesn’t
no discarded torch stubs, add up.
suture trimmings or empty
\ CALL healing potion vials?
BULL!!
oh for the hrrrmph.

LOVE OF GAWD... see that?
sometimes, \ who cares —
the DAMN DRAGON he’s back-peddling think he makes SHEESH...
hid his TREASURE — this stuff up as let’s go get our \ really HATE
now the TREASURE he goes along. TREASURE, boys. these HACK-
in ANOTHER room. is in another room. N-WHINE
sessions.
\’ll search
happy now...?
for secret
doors.
^ “THAT WAS AWESOME. \’ll never forget those GAGWALLER BODYPARTS flying thru the air after
our TANDEM-CLAYMORE AMBUSH! the HACKMASTER THESAURUS certainly enhanced your flavor text,
b.a. you said some words \ NEVER heard before.” —Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #38, Overcoming Disabilities

Sick of this
Using Plague in Your Game
Dirt transmits germs. How many
By Jeremy Meister adventurers ignore cleanliness? Most
D
players avoid baths and brushing their
isease is truly a terrible thing. It teeth then share weapons, eating utensils,
can wipe out and injure entire chamber pots, outhouses, beds, armor, etc?
populations. Many movies, TV Fantasy settings seldom have
shows, books and graphic novels are refrigerators or a board of health to keep
dedicated to the topic. It can make a great restaurants sanitary.
antagonist. Here are a few suggestions on
Sci Fi settings might be a little better
how to use it in your game.
(knowing about pathogens) but present
DISEASES other problems such as being stuck in small
The first thing a judge would have to spacecraft for months or weeks on end.
decide is how the disease is transmitted. Some long range ships feature rooms to
Discovering how it moves from person to grow bacteria and fungi for food.
person could actually be a major part of the Deadly contagions could also be growing
story. Transmission depends largely on in that room as well.
what causes the disease.
New diseases are constantly evolving. A
In real life, we usually think of illness as space journey taking 10, 20, 30 years will
being caused by viruses or bacteria. These have a group of passengers that have no
things are usually spread person to person defense to sicknesses on the planets
either in a direct way being exposed to a they’re arriving on or could present their
sick person by being in contact with that new colony with new illnesses.
person or indirectly by being in a location
Generally when diseases are discussed it’s
that was inhabited by a sick person such as
assumed to be airborne, but exposure to
a bathroom or bedroom.
blood, urine, feces, saliva and other such
biological agents can also be dangerous. Insanity is one of the few disabilities that
All this stuff makes appearances in is visited in a lot of rpgs. Players often enjoy
combats. That aside, how many fights take portraying characters that have a variety of
place in medical labs, hospitals, military derangements. The problem is that most
labs? All these places could have terrible players don’t want to play through the
things lurking within them. down sides of such things and generally
use this as an excuse to be disruptive. Still,
And how many adventures take place in
it can be fun if done properly.
the sewer?
FICTIONAL ALIMENTS
It is also common for disease to be used
in war – be it through bombs or intentionally So far, all the sicknesses have been from
infecting items that might be used by victims. real things. But don’t ignore the fictional.
The nice thing about microbes is that they Fantasy settings feature things such as
are colorless, odorless and invisible, Mummy Rot, Ghoul’s touch, vampirism and
meaning that a single person can walk in to lycanthrope.
a gathering of several people and infect Zombism in movies and TV are often
them all just through simple contact. described as sicknesses spread by bites and
NON-DISEASES scratches. (This danger is left out of the
Another problem with sickness is AD&D Monster Manual, but probably
sometimes they’re not a diseases at all. should be added in.)
Gas leaks, chemicals in water and radiation There can also be magical aliments –
can also cause sickness. Note that radiation disease that causes spells to have random
also exists in medieval and fantasy settings! effects, diseases that make the victim fade
Radioactive metals have been around since in to nothing or summon creatures at bad
the universe began. Miners have been times.
getting sick from it since they first started Maybe a disease that makes spells go
digging into the ground. This is one of the wild or have random effects. The sickness
possible explanations for trolls and knockers might add power to spells (to spread itself).
and other creatures that don’t like humans Make two saves verses the fireball. Fail the
digging around in the dirt. second save and your character starts
It might not come from the ground giving off heat as if they’re on fire!
either. Meteorites falling to the Earth bring Or the sickness might suck power out a
all bring x-rays and other forms of spell. What does the mage do when he
radioactivity. must cast his fireball with a 4th level slot
Parasites are also a problem. Infectious (but doesn’t have one)? The extra level
worms can cause blindness, madness, pain, might add extra diseased effects.
bleeding. Parasites often evolve ways to Artifact possession (or possession in
spread themselves – usually by general) could be a type of sickness. There’s
contaminating food, but it can be done in also addictions. Victims might not be aware
other ways such as through gouts of blood that they’re taking drugs. Those healing
and vomiting. potions you bought? They’re laced with
Poor nutrition is another type of illness. narcotics. The alchemist is making a fortune
Adventurers are often in savage and hostile on repeat customers.
settings where diversity of food is poor. It There are also psionic aliments. Telepaths
might be hard to get protein and vitamins. and worse going through a character’s
Scurvy and other sicknesses could be very mind can do all kinds of terrible things.
common. There might even be psionic viruses and
parasites.
Generally creatures like this would feed the characters are in the wilderness far
off emotional/mental states and actively from the hospital.
induce them. The infected might prone to
Of course, you can’t use these plot
fits of rage or lethargy. Such viruses and
parasites would attach to creatures the devices every time. This means as a judge,
victim comes in to contact with thus you’re going to have to go outside the rules
spreading. a bit.
Futuristic settings can present things Why does the high science/magic fail?
such as dimensional diseases or sicknesses Whether wandering the wilderness looking
that take the victim out of time. What for a Sage or staring through microscopes,
happens when a character misses every
that can be a quest in and of itself.
other second of time or moves in or out of
our universe at random moments? The old One way to sidestep this is to make the
movie Spiderbaby presented Merrye aliment hard to identify. A lot of the sick
Syndrome – which is a sickness that makes might not even realize they are sick. Long
the victim devolve. incubation times, that is how long it takes a
A Japanese movie called Infection is victim to show symptoms can aid this. A lot
about a doctor in an emergency room who of diseases have symptoms that look the
is trying to determine why his outbreak same.
victims are all bleeding green. Spiderman’s
alien costume and the alien from Alien are A lot of sicknesses go through stages and
described as parasites. Genetic creations some of these stages are “dormant”. A
can have built in fail safes where genes are victim might believe they are cured only to
activated to keep the creations in line. find out a little time later they are not.
Cybernetics and robots can be infected
Once it has been established that there is
with various computer viruses. The list can
go on and on. a plague, this is usually where the quest
THE DOUBLE EDGE becomes to find the ingredients for the
cure. Usually these things are rare and hard
Sometimes a sickness will bring a
blessing along with it. Obviously once one to get – being guarded by monsters,
is infected they can’t be infected with the rampaging aliens, or evil corporations.
same disease again. A werewolf has no fear CONCLUSION
fighting other werewolves. Madness or
Sometimes it’s nice to break away from
sickness might find themselves deadened
to pain giving them superhuman abilities. the hack and slash of killing monsters and
Bruce Banner is hard to kill because of his do something different. Disease is good
Hulk alter ego. Someone who is possessed way to break the monotony. Good players
would be much harder to dominant. could be motivated to help others and self-
QUESTIONS OF THE CURE serving players would be driven not to
The biggest problem with disease in a succumb to the illnesses themselves.
rpg is that most illness is so easy to cure. There are endless possibilities and lots of
Whether it is in a Fantasy setting where a good ideas in TV, movies, and books. The
magic spell can fix it or a Sci-Fi setting
most important thing to do as a game
where high science can cure anything. The
simplest way to fix this is to have the party judge is like everything else: prepare well.
in a situation where they can’t get such Know what causes the disease and how it
fixes easily. Maybe the characters are too spreads. What its effects are and how to
low level to cast Cure Disease. Or maybe cure it. q
GETTING
THE GANG
BACK
TOGETHER
AND OTHER
CAMPAIGN STARTERS
BY JIM DAVENPORT
I
enjoy thinking up new and different
ways for heroes to begin their adven-
tures together. A random meeting of
murder-hobos creating a shaky alliance of
greed in a smoke-filled, no-name tavern is
no way to start a campaign in my book. So
let’s explore some alternate mechanisms
for creating a group. allied: escape! Depending on the genre,
they could be a collection of scampish
I don’t claim that I’m the first one to think
thieves, political prisoners, rightful heirs
of these but maybe I’ll inspire you to try one
imprisoned by the Usurper King, the down-
out for your next campaign.
trodden unable to avoid debtor’s prison,
WHAT WAS YOUR CRIME? prisoners of war awaiting ransom, or even
Starting characters in prison together people caught up by accident waiting to
provides them a natural need to become plead their innocence.

TWISTS OF CIRCUMSTANCE
Sometimes random strangers are thrown
together by forces greater than themselves.
Travelers trapped by a violent storm must
deal with immediate dangers together,
creating the starting of bonds.
They might have to take shelter in a
lonely country manor house.
They might be on the same train, cruise
Consider that each player character could ship, or starship. If the characters prove to
come from a different reason for imprison- have common interests, they might choose
ment which leads to interesting mixtures. to work together after the larger event is
They may certainly lie about their reasons, overcome.
though it should come back to bite them
GETTING THE GANG BACK TOGETHER
later.
Sometimes a challenge needs the right
Once the opening setting of a prison is
combination of skills to overcome it. A
set (county jail, royal dungeons, or super-
group could be formed by pulling together
max prison in the depths of space), getting
all the right experts.
the characters to begin to bond is an
interesting challenge. If we examine a They may have all worked together as a
recent example of this, we can pick up team before, or just in smaller combina-
some pointers. tions, but everyone should be trusted by
someone to make the group trust each
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 1 is
other. I’ve seen this play out in movies I’ve
one of my favorite movies mostly because
covered in my Gaming the Movies
it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Still, it’s a
column, like Sneakers, and ones I should
great example of the Prison Team Up
cover there, like Blues Brothers.
Experience. Several “PCs” engage in a
running struggle over an object and a This approach allows the driving
bounty until the local authorities neutralize character to gather the others one by one,
them and send them to prison. In transit giving each character a nice scene where
and induction, they learn a little about each they can demonstrate their special skill, a
other but have the same goals. vice or hindrance, or even what they are
willing to fight or take risks for.
Rocket wants the bounty on Quill’s head.
Gamora wants the Orb to sell it and escape. This assumes they have time available to
Quill wants to sell the Orb and get paid. gather people before the group has to
Gamora has a bad reputation, one that has act… or they are pursued and flee from
all the prisoners wanting her dead. Drax is person to person to gather them to survive.
one of those prisoners and when he wants A TEAM OF RIVALS
to kill Gamora, the others convince him that A variation of the “Gang Back Together”
he would reach his ultimate goal better has people who have never met pulled
through not killing her. together for a particular job, mission, or
They all need to get out of the prison and challenge. The twist is that these people all
they form an uneasy alliance. This alliance know each other and have been fierce
grows as they proceed on their adventure. rivals for years.
Eventually they become more of a family Convincing them to work together is a
than frenemies or just friends. hurdle but the payoff of conflicting agenda,
chances to double-cross each other, all in adventure appear, it’s fairly logical that the
conflict with a critical common goal. group will come together to address it.
I’VE GOT A JOB FOR YOU SECRET TEAM IN HIDING
Each of the PCs is approached by a Each character is pursuing a normal
powerful person, usually a stranger, with a existence, though one where they are
desperate need. (Gandalf ). The PCs may supposed to be avoiding notice. A life-or-
know each other but have never death, save-the-world challenge or event
adventured together. appears forcing them to break with their
Often they have been watching a normal identity, grab carefully hidden
situation and feel it is time to act, especially weapons/equipment, and unite to
if the people they ask to do the job aren’t vanquish the threat.
ready yet. They have to group up again even if they
Usually the person is highly respected, swore they never would, they have great
very powerful, rich, attractive, or some interpersonal conflicts, or there is a cost to
other reason to influence the PCs positively revealing themselves.
for them even if the call itself is not TIME WILL TELL
compelling enough. Characters are a group but their links and
ALL IN THE FAMILY back stories are revealed as the adventure
The characters are already related to each plays out. This happens organically as role-
other in some way: actual family members, playing opportunities occur which can be
served in the military together, part of the very engaging but require you to enjoy
same company or organization. When improvisation and live with uncertainty
opportunities for about your character’s origins.
A lighter version has PCs who know
their own background, but their
connection to the others is re-
vealed through gameplay. q
Jim Davenport is an award-win-

ning game designer who runs the
Dragonlaird Gaming design
studio. His work appears in
previous issues of this fine
publication as well as in
products from Margaret Weis
Productions (Serenity the RPG,
Serenity Adventures,
Battlestar Galactica the RPG,
Cortex System RPG, etc.),
SPQR (Guild of Shadows
adventures), Pinnacle Enter-
tainment (Tour of Darkness
adventure),and Adamant
Entertainment (Pulp villain).
His first solo publication,
Savage Characters Volume 1,
is now available at
DriveThruRPG.com

Bundle of Trouble vol. 57
Available Now!!
bit.ly/BOT57
NOSTALGIA
AN ACES & EIGHTS OPTIONAL RULE
By Shane Ivey
T
he victims and perpetrators of vio-
lence often find themselves chang-
ing in strange ways. Civil War
doctors saw this in soldiers. They some-
times diagnosed it as “nostalgia,” a melan-
cholia thought to arise from a longing for
peace and home. This new rule reflects in
Nostalgia points. A character who gains too
many develops a new quirk.
Unofficial Rules
GAINING NOSTALGIA Hacks & Tweak
A character who undergoes one of three
kinds of severe stress—violence, cruelty, or 1. A random combat quirk.
helplessness—must make a Wisdom check 2. A random introverted quirk.
on 1d20. If the check fails, the character 3. A random mental quirk.
gains 1d10 Nostalgia points. A player may spend 5 BP to reroll the type
Gaining Nostalgia points ought to be re- of quirk or the quirk itself. If the resulting
flected in the character’s behavior in that quirk is “Doppleganger,” or any quirk the
game session. Roll 1d8 for a reaction or character already has, then the character
choose one that feels appropriate: gains no new quirk after all.
1. Bouts of sadness or apathy.
2. Irrational anger.
3. Hard drinking.
4. Homesickness.
5. Bitterness.
6. Desperate humor.
7. Self-destructive overconfidence.
8. Exaggeration of an existing quirk.
A character whose Nostalgia points
exceed his or her Wisdom gains no more
Nostalgia in that game session. At the end
of the session, the character’s Nostalgia
points drop back to zero and the character
gains a quirk. Roll 1d3 for the type of quirk:

• Suffering torture or degradation.
• Suffering an injury that has permanent
effects.
• Being subjected to a protracted risk of
grave harm beyond your control.
• Seeing a close friend, loved one, or
helpless stranger suffer torture, degradation,
or murder.
SOURCES OF NOSTALGIA • Seeing a close friend or loved one die from
any kind of violence, even in battle.
Characters gain Nostalgia points from three
kinds of stress: violence, cruelty, and help- • Trying unsuccessfully to save someone’s
lessness. If more than one kind of stress life.
applies to a situation, the GM chooses which REDUCING NOSTALGIA
is most appropriate. A character can reduce Nostalgia points by:
When a character gains a new quirk due to • Preventing or avoiding a fight that’s likely
Nostalgia, write which kind of stress caused to be deadly.
it (e.g., “Daunsy (from violence)”). The charac- • Saving one or more people from torture or
ter never again gains Nostalgia points from degradation.
that kind of stress.
• Saving the life of one or more loved ones,
Violence: A character with the Courage close friends, or helpless strangers.
talent gains a +4 bonus to the Wisdom check
After one of those feats, the character may
to resist gaining Nostalgia from violence.
make a Wisdom check on 1d20. If it succeeds,
Examples of violence include:
the character loses 1d6 Nostalgia points, to a
• Reaching a new level of experience as a minimum of zero.
gunfighter: at the 1st gunfight, then at the
EXAMPLE
2nd, 4th, 7th, and lastly at the 11th.
“Friendly Abe” Blackwell participates in the
• Killing a foe in hand-to-hand combat.
lynching of a known thief and murderer. Every-
Cruelty: A character with the Badman quirk one agrees the murderer had it coming, but
gains a +4 bonus to the Wisdom check to lynching even a guilty man can be hard on the
resist gaining Nostalgia from cruelty. soul. Abe must make a Wisdom check to resist
Examples of cruelty include: gaining Nostalgia points due to cruelty. His Wis-
• Killing someone who is helpless. This dom is 13 and the player rolls 17, failing. Abe
replaces any potential Nostalgia gain from gains 1d10 Nostalgia points. The roll comes up
violence. A character with the Lynch Lawman 9, so the player writes “Nostalgia: 9” on Friendly
quirk gains a +4 bonus to the Wisdom test for Abe’s character sheet. For the rest of the game
an execution that sees justice done according session, the player ought to emphasize Abe’s
to social mores. unhappy reaction to the lynching. Instead of
• Inflicting torture or degradation on any of rolling 1d8 for a response, the player figures Abe
God’s creatures. is most likely to be overcome with homesick-
Helplessness: A character with the Hard- ness, since he’s been away on a cattle drive for
case quirk gains a +4 bonus to the Wisdom months. In the future, if Friendly Abe ever gains
check to resist gaining Nostalgia from help- 5 or more Nostalgia points, that will bring the
lessness. Examples of helplessness include: total (14) higher than his Wisdom (13) and he’ll
gain a random new quirk. q
5) Stop whining.
6) The rules are the rules. If you decide you
can bend the rules that way, don’t get pissy
when the NPCs also bend the rules that way.
7) Optional rules are at my option, not yours.
8) No, it doesn’t work that way.
9) Stop whining.
10) A low intelligence is not a license to be an
a-hole.
11) A Chaotic Neutral alignment is not a
license to be an a-hole.
12)A Lawful Good alignment is not a license
to be an a-hole.
13) You made the character – stop using
him/her as your excuse to be an a-hole. Try
playing something that gets along with others
for once. That seems like the challenge you’re
looking for.
14) There’s a difference between having a
A Rant by high Int/Wis/Cha and using it.
Jeremy Meister 15) I know you’ve had a hard week and this is
your chance to blow off steam by being a jerk
to all the NPCs in game (in other words, be a
jerk to me.) So you’ll understand when I blow
A Generic Gamer off steam from my hard week by being a
complete and total jerk to you. As I said before
Rant or “Bitching if you can do it, so can the NPCs.
for All Genres” 16) Stop whining.
I
17) If it seems overpowered, it is and I’m
’ve been gaming a long time. It’s amazing going to say “no”.
to me how games have changed, but
18) You don’t know my world or my NPCs
players haven’t. So here are a few
better than I do, so don’t you DARE sit there
observations (frustrations) that I’d like to point
and lecture me.
out before we sit down to play.
19) I worked hard on this adventure, don’t
FOR MY PLAYERS:
just pour it down the toilet. Try being plot
1) If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t bother friendly for once. Note that if you reject my
running this at all. So stop crying. Contrary to adventure hook I have nothing for you.
what you think, I’m not out to get you.
no, bob — you
2) Yeah, you did something stupid. Don’t get CAN’T put ODIN in a
mad when there are consequences. HEAD LOCK and give
him a “KNUCKLE BURN”.
3) You’re here because you wanted a
challenge. So don’t give up in the face of a now STOP shakin’ the dice
and PUT THEM DOWN.
challenge.
yer not ROLLING for it.
4) You can’t hammer your way through
everything. If there’s something you obviously
can’t handle, try something other than
attacking it.
20) Stop treating me like an idiot. I know what in your adventure. I’m paying attention. It’s why
I’m doing behind the screen. I’m here. Why are you mad?
21) It’s not you vs me. I’m presenting 5) The players need to have victories too.
problems and obstacles for you to overcome. Feeling like we can change things through our
I’m not your enemy. Stop taking this personally actions is what keeps us coming back to the
and remember: it’s just a game. table. Remember that before you start making
FOR MY JUDGE: everything impossible.
1) In LARPs if you expect me to drive the 6) It’s not us vs you. Stop being an a-hole and
action, don’t screw me over when I take the taking this personally. Remember: this is just a
initiative. I was in one group where the Story- game.
tellers bitched and moaned that the players FOR MY OPPONENT IN
didn’t do anything (this was a Vampire game). ANY GIVEN BOARD/CARD GAME
So I took action. 1) I’m not here solely for your amusement so
The one time I went out with my group we stop sulking.
ran in to an Antediluvian i.e. the rarest, most 2) When the judge rules in my favor, buck up
powerful thing imaginable who totally kicked and quit pouting.
our asses.
3) If you can use the rules that way, so can I.
Next week I took my place on the couch and
4) Not every game is a blood match, so stop
waited for things to happen. I had learned the
treating it that way please. There is such a thing
lesson everyone else already knew and the
as a friendly game.
geniuses running the game couldn’t figure out
why I never took action again. 5) Stop whining.
2) Why do you demand that I play a good 6) Spending thousands of dollars on your
aligned character then give me adventures army/deck/whatever doesn’t make you a good
where I’m expected to make alliances with player. Anyone can buy their way to the top. It’s
characters I know to be evil? I suppose if it hap- not particularly clever or creative, so stop
pened once under dire circumstances, I could gloating.
understand. But I’ve been in several adventures 7) Right – I’m sure you forgot those rules that
where every leg entailed a deal with the devil said you couldn’t do that. Right.
(literally). No, our lawful good Paladins are not 8) No, I’m not going to keep fighting when
going to be errand boys for Elder Red Wyrms the game is obviously unwinnable. I’m not
and high level Drow priestesses. If you’re going going to sit here and let you kill me off slowly
to do this, just let me roll up my son of a bitch piece by piece just to stroke your ego and let
Chaotic Evil Necromancer. He would make you point whore. I’m not here just for your
deals with these unsavory types. amusement.
3) We’re experienced players running experi- 9) No one wins every game. Just take your
enced characters. Stop assuming that we’re lumps like the rest of us and get over yourself.
going to do the STUPIDEST things imaginable.
10) If it seems overpowered, I’m betting it is.
If we camp, of course we’re going to post a
Don’t get pissy when I call a mod and slap you
watch. If we cross a street, of course we’re going
down.
to look both ways. I’m keenly aware of who is in
our group – in the dungeon it’s not going to Just follow these suggestions and we’ll all
take long for me to figure out that someone’s have a good time.
missing! Jeremy Meister is a burned out DM who lives in the
Midwest and sometimes posts to the GM Guild. He
4) You’re presenting obstacles and monsters
actually has a few good ideas sometimes. q
for my character to overcome. Don’t get mad if
I come up with clever solutions. How about
rewarding me for it? Creative go arounds are
my way of showing appreciation. I’m having fun

my taclight on the vampire. Horror Factor.
Fearless bonus and nat 20! The vamp was not DANGEROUS DIE ROLLS
T
happy at my lack of reaction and continuous 3 he game was AD&D 2ndE and the cam-
round bursts. By the end of the session, I had paign included Spell Jamming. It was the
been depleted of armor, S.D.C. and all but 4 hp Autumn of 1992 (why that's important will
in my head. The GM told me the vampire was become evident.)
definitely trying to ace me.—Stephen Wat-
son I was in college and we had just returned
from Summer break. Our Kensai, Kojiro, had
WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING THE SHIP? reached 10th level. In order to level up he was
required to fight in single combat against a
I In Star Wars 'Edge of the Empire' The Party
in the town of Mos Bhoga are currently to
hijack an imperial transport.
higher level warrior from Kara-Tur. A quest! So
we set off in our spelljammer through the
crystal spheres and the phlogiston to fulfill the
In debate where to hide it, one player rec- quest. I which I will not describe here due to
ommended caves. Another suggested it would
space (pun intended) limitations. Successful,
be the Wookie Hole.
we returned home to our keep.
This is funny but not for the reason you
Or, rather, we tried to. As we were coming
imagine.
in over the lake outside our keep we were
Wooky Hole is a set of limestone caves in rammed from behind by our archnemeses The
RANGER WITH A PROBLEM
the South West of the UK. —Tim Hart
Followers of Kevin! A great crash ensued and
I n a one off game I decided to play a ranger
who was also a werewolf. First time I
changed I scared off all our group’s horses. The
THE RIDDLE OF BOOKS
all on deck were forced to roll a dex-check.
Poor Kojiro, with his 19 dex he managed to roll
DM asked me if I would like to try and round
them up and I thought he was being helpful
T he first time I ever played in a DND Play
by email game was after my face to face
a nat 20. Over the deck and into the water he
went. The next round:
with the suggestion and said yes, thinking a group of nearly ten years broke up. I joined the
DM: What does Kojiro do?
werewolf could do what a sheep-dog can! That army and my friend Cody joined the Marines.
Player: I swim to shore.
was my first experience of the DM is not your So I looked out for something I could do re-
motely and found a true international online DM: Do you have the swimming profi-
friend and will take delight in your misfortune.
game with its own mailing list and website ciency?
Trying to round the horses up did not work and
(high tech in 1991). The GM was an English ex- Player: No.
the paladin’s warhorse ended up breaking its
leg in its panic and had to be put down. That pat living in Czechoslovakia named Nick Pen- DM: Roll for it at -4.
was one paladin not very happy with me. He drell. Interestingly enough a player from that Nat 20 again. Kojiro drowned.
was even less happy later on, when he ended game I met later face to face and he loaned Now this may seem like just another stupid
up under the sway of the necromancer villain me his copy of Bundle of Trouble and that was character death like so many others you may
and in werewolf form I ended up failing a con- my introduction to Knights of the Dinner Table. have witnessed over the years but for one key
trol roll and ripping the paladin’s throat out. But I digress... fact: the player had just returned from
—Mark Dowson The game was amazing, with a cowardly il- Barcelona where he swam for Hong Kong in
lusionist, a Druid whose holy symbol was the 1992 Summer Olympics. We had him
VAMPIRE ACE cannabis, and a terribly arrogant paladin raised, but he was never quite the same.
I joined my friends last weekend for an ad- among many others. The first time I played —Tyler J. Wright
venture already in progress. My character with them we found a murdered gnome fam-
was a "Shepard of the Danged" (my edit) from ily that I still remember now 25 years later and PRESENTS FOR THE GROUP
Dead Reign. Our GM decided to use our char- had to gather information to find out what
acters in Monster Hunters, International
setting to keep us from becoming warlords, I
happened and why. What better place to find
information than the Great Library right? R unning a group of ladies can be amusing
and interesting. One year one of the play-
guess. Anyway, the table is set for a crypt We found our way to the library and after ers was unemployed so she came up with a
crawl. I help excavate the opening they had some maneuvering found the head of the novel idea for Christmas presents to her female
closed the previous session. Element of sur- place. He was a dark haired massively muscled players. She wrote adult fiction for each of
prise was long gone. The team tactics focused fellow, well read and knowledgeable. He in- their characters and asked a friend who did
on wights controlled by a vampire. Substan- troduced himself of course as "Conan the Li- bookbinding to bind each story. She gave
tial progress was being made by the time I brarian". Rarely have I laughed so hard when them out the game session just before Christ-
came up to bat. Checking my sheet, Trick Shot. reading an email. I am sure my family thought mas. It made for an interesting game
I plunged past the melee and came up with I was a lunatic —Benjamin Lomax session. —Michael Maley q
bit.ly/CasualtyCounters

time for us to depart for
OTHER REALMS, folks.
and don’t leave any
EXPERIENCE POINTS
don’t take any on the TABLE.
WOODEN
gold pieces!
E R Y ONE
l f of EV
n b e h a
t h a nks
, o o,m
Larry K e n z e r C
t a nd
a t Que s
here S n a r f
b ox.
t t i n g a n d
for le i n our s n e y s!!
pla y Jou r
c r e w p p y
Ha

L
ife is never easy for a half-orc on Tellene, but Finlek had
a good childhood thanks to his loving mother, Ayen. He
grew up in a rustic cabin in the woods near Shadesh Bay,
and the isolated, loving home prevented him from realizing that
he was half orc.
He loved the woods, and learned how to find his way around,
how to hunt, how to climb, and survive. He spent a lot of time
climbing trees, tramping through the forest with a tag-along
three-legged wolf dog for company.
Finlek’s happiness was shattered, however, when his home was
attacked by orcs and he was taken captive. It was then he learned
he was “half blood” as he was called while being abused and
enslaved. He spent a year in orc chains before he was able to make
his escape and head home. He returned to find his mother dead,
with his wolf dog guarding the body.
He buried her under one of her favorite trees and lives in the
cabin still, though he travels through the woods with his dog
regularly, looking for orcs. He has a burning hatred for them, and
will kill any he sees on sight.
He appreciates humans, since he adored his mother, but he
loves his solitude more. He has little use for civilization, though he
has ventured into a village now and then to purchase equipment,
sometimes suffering insults and abuse because of his orc blood.
A few weeks ago, he noticed a human woman fishing in the
Finlek bay a couple of miles east of his cabin. He has watched her a few
Race: Half Orc times, mostly feeling protective of her. He’d hate to see any
Class: Ranger damned bloody orcs messing with her. A day ago, she knocked
Level: 6 8 -1
Size: M +5 on his cabin door with a batch of biscuits, saying, “I just settled my
Movement: 5 ft
Alignment: CG +7 M 2 cabin not far, so I wanted to meet my neighbor. My name is Leyta,
Reared: Shadesh Bay what’s yours?”
Hit Points: 53
_____________________ 2d8p+3
Str 15/66 Int 10/25 Wis 13/72 3 1/2 ft. 8 By Barb Blackburn
Dex 15/71 Con 16/35 Lks 8/83
Cha 6/91
Skills
Possessions: short bow, long sword, leather listening 42%
armor, medium shield, wolf dog, cabin. tracking 52%
language (orc) 31% Note: Finlek also has the following skills: botany 39%, animal empathy 42%,
Proficiencies: hiking/road marching, short fire-building 24% cooking/baking 24%, and rope use 56%.
bow spec., long sword spec., shield, light first aid 50%
armor, laborer hunting 38%
observation 38%
Talents: tough hide, long distance running, sneaking 27%
resolute, crack shot language (Dejy) 74%
survival 37%
swimming 38%
Quirks and Flaws: melancholy climbing 26%

L
eyta Winslen has spent all of her adult life (until now)
working for various nobles, merchants, and military
units as a scout and mapper.
She was well paid and excellent at her job. Not only did she
help find new trade routes and trails, but she also protected
many a trade mission traveling through remote areas. She is
highly-skilled as a ranger, and she rarely had a problem with
any employers, though in her younger days, she was some-
times the target of a few jealous wives due to her beauty. That
has faded some with age, and that’s not all that has faded.
Recently, Leyta has developed some problems with her
memory. After her last trip, where she couldn’t remember the
route, she and her caravan became terribly lost. It was then she
decided it was time to retire and go back to Shadesh Bay, where
her Uncle Leyton raised her after the death of her mother and
the disappearance of her father. Her uncle has long since passed
away. Her only relative, a brother, is a ship captain and she has-
n’t seen him since he went off to sea as soon as he came of age.
Her uncle’s cabin still stands in the woods near the bay, but
it is in a state of disrepair. She has been working on fixing it
since she moved back, making a pen for her mule Ezmo and
planting a garden. Her cabin leaks a bit when it rains, but she’s
planning on fixing that soon. She has created a makeshift cov-
ering for her mule to get her out of the elements, and will erect
a barn as soon as she can. She has put her mule’s needs ahead
of her own. She’s getting along in years, and Leyta wants to
protect him. She’s ridden Ezmo through many a treacherous
journey, and would hate for anything to happen to her.
Leyta Winslen She has been enjoying fishing in the bay, like she used to,
and, she has noticed that she has a neighbor. Because of her
memory problems, she has forgotten that she had once known
Race: Human the young woman who used to live in the cabin there. She does
Class: Ranger 4
Level: 12 -1 remember a woman who was always kind to her and her
Size: M +12 brother, giving them baked goods and teaching them rhymes
Movement: 5 ft
Alignment: LG +9 M 2 and songs, but she can’t remember where the woman lived.
Reared: Shadesh Bay She has noticed someone watching her while fishing and
Hit Points: 65
_____________________ 2d8p+6 she’s not sure it the person is a danger or not, so she thinks she
Str 13/43 Int 12/48 Wis 16/78 3 1/2 ft. 6
Dex 13/77 Con 13/69 Lks 12/10 should get to know her neighbor, just in case there’s a threat
Cha 14/96 that they both face. Perhaps her neighbor will remember who
Skills
Possessions: long sword, short bow, shield, tracking 70% used to live in the cabin before him and will refresh her mem-
leather armor, fishing gear, cabin, mule. botany 30% ory. She’ll take some biscuits over as a welcome gift. Who
Proficiencies: long sword spec., short bow
fire building 48% knows, they could end up being friends.
first aid 100%
spec., shield, light armor, hiking/roadmarch- language (Kalamar) 74% By Barb Blackburn
ing, laborer, bilingual. language (Dejy) 73%
literacy (Kalamar) 58%
Talents: blind shooting, age gracefully, less hiding 44%
sleep, physical conditioning. hunting 99%
cartography 83%
Quirks and Flaws: absent minded, short- riding 56% Note: Leyta also has the following skills: sneaking 25%, survival 52%, swim-
term memory loss. observation 72% ming 36%, listening, 73%, cooking/baking 45% and rope use 53%.

Elixir of Efficient Rest
T
he Elixir of Efficient Rest is rumored to be of to use it as part of their training regimen. The po-
a woodland elf or brownie mixology. No tion indeed aids in physical recovery as well as pro-
one is absolutely certain. Allegedly, the vides an advantage of shorter sleep cycle-in the
failed brew craft of a sleep potion, the elixir itself is short term, which may provide benefits to training;
much sought after by adventurers concerning the if characters (by way of the kind and omnipotent
flexibility of its use, as well as by potion masters, in- GM) learn this and use the elixir during training (lev-
tent on unlocking its accidental secrets. eling), roll (d20; table below) per 1 oz. dose. The
A single dose (1 oz.), concerning human charac- Elixir of Efficient Rest always comes in a small flask
ters of any class, numbs the senses and enchants or container not larger than (1d3+1) 2 to 4 oz. Once
the consumer to a state of catatonic sleep. Similar the liquid touches the lips, the drinker knows the
to a standard sleep potion the drinker cannot be dose required. Ingesting more than a single oz. of-
roused from sleep by any natural means, nor can fers no additional, potential benefit. The potion can
they be revived even should they suffer physical in- only be taken once every 24 hours but up to three
jury. Only incantations that directly dispel or dissi- times during a training period lasting a week or
pate magic have any chance of awakening the longer (1 roll per dose; 3 rolls max). J.L. Duncan
sleeper. Even then, the character rolls a saving
throw to resist any magic and receives a +4 bonus to 1-8: No Effect 15: +2 BPs; spend immediately
do so. Rest in this state lasts four hours, but after 9: Fractional Increase: 1d10p; lowest during training
such time, the character is fully rested as if they had attribute 16: Bonus mastery die modifier
a full night’s sleep and the benefits of such therein. 10: Fractional Increase: 1d8p; lowest (+ only) on one skill of choice.
attribute 17: Bonus mastery die modifier
Consumption by any Demi-human race has the
11: Fractional Increase: 1d8p; to STR, (+ only) on two skills of choice.
same effect though the catatonic state lasts only 3
DEX or CON attribute 18: One additional mastery die roll
hours. 12: Fractional increase: 1d6p; INT, and modifier bonus; any Universal
HackMaster Option Pending GM Approval WIS or CHA attribute Skill cost: 0BP
13: Fractional increase: 1d4p; 19: Bonus Weapon Specialization
While use of the Elixir is left to those fortunate any attribute (not beyond +1) cost: 1BP or use 14
enough to find the rare potion, whispered (Glean 14: +1 BPs; spend immediately 20: Mastery die roll and modifier
Information/Arcane Lore) about is the positive ef- during training bonus; any skill, cost: 2 BP or use 15
fects the elixir may award a character who chooses

SECOND HAND NEWS
SETTING: Any
BAIT: The party has been working on a particularly noteworthy
quest for so long now it has become an obsession, a sink for both
time and energy, but it’s a worthwhile venture, and the conclu-
sion of it will surely bring riches and fame, contacts and glory.
The final foe finally destroyed, the treasure was underwhelming
to say the least, but at least the notoriety of defeating such a
malevolent force, the goodwill created in the community; that
will certainly be worth something, won’t it?
TACKLE: The party will find the community response to their
successful adventure even less prominent than their financial re-
wards. In fact, with the enemy’s energy focused nearly entirely
on the party for so long, their former damaging activities have of their answers, she finds it relatively easy to provide something
been nearly forgotten. Beyond that, a more prominent foe has innocuous that will make the person feel empowered, providing
presented itself in the party’s absence, bandits settled in the tall relatively easy answers to the questions “What is the meaning of
plains grasses in the wildlands surrounding the community. An- life?” targeted specifically for that person’s motivations and his-
other party, less accomplished than the player characters, quickly tory. She makes most of her income trading favors, however, using
went out and confronted the bandits and put them to rout, and the divine purposes she provides to make friends and allies
those adventurers are now the toast of the town. among very powerful people.
The graceful thing to do is accept that they are second hand Painting a merchant as a diabolical evil for the party to de-
news and ignore the relative dismissal of their great deeds, but it stroy, that merchant just happening to be opposed to some other
will be pretty difficult to ignore the slights directed at them by powerful merchant, is just one of many ways she uses her gifts to
the new kids in town, the friendly gestures that were formerly provide services. The party is just a small piece of an elaborate
the purview of the party and now they are treated like outsiders. puzzle among many others she gives “visions” to. It is nearly im-
How the group handles with, hopefully with maturity, will have possible for the party to link their “purpose” with nefarious pur-
a lot to do with what kinds of opportunities they have in the fu- poses, but after several such visions it will become apparent that
ture in this community. Handling this in a petty way will alienate these visions do little to nothing for the party, but are quite ben-
the very citizens they have been trying to impress and make eficial for others. Uncovering all the links in the chain will take
themselves heroes to. quite a bit of time and effort. The gypsy is not evil, just self-serv-
ing and gifted.
By Benjamin Lomax
DREAM By Benjamin Lomax

SETTING: Any low-magic
NEVER GOING BACK AGAIN
BAIT: The party is looking for insight into where they can go
next. The normal adventuring hooks are too generic for them, SETTING: Any (with terrible dungeon not too far away)
meetings in a tavern so passé. They are looking for something BAIT: The party has conquered so many foes and their fame
with divine purpose, a meaning to their existence. With that in has grown so great that they know it’s time to take on the great-
mind, a visit to a famed gypsy fortune-teller doesn’t seem as est challenge, the mega-dungeon or killer campaign that has
ridiculous as perhaps it once did. A traditional shawl-wearing felled so many of the most famous adventurers in history, what-
wild woman just happens to present herself in the group’s most ever the equivalent of the Tomb of Horrors is in your game. It’s
recent base town. She portents with crystals that providing vi- time to mark their names in the history books of true legends.
sions in your dreams, divining your purpose and providing you There is a guide, a shell-shocked scout who is the only one who
guidance as to how to fulfill that purpose. Many others have re- knows the way, one who has led many a worthy character to their
ported being significantly changed by their visits, and that the doom. Finding this individual and getting them to take you to
fortune-teller has unique insight into the future. the beginning of the adventure should be the easiest part,
TACKLE: The Dreamweaver gypsy is not quite a true psychic, shouldn’t it?
but not quite a fraud either. Her gift is a cross between very intu- TACKLE: The guide has taken one party too many to their
itive ESP and psychological coaching. After extensively inter- doom, come back alone barely surviving once too often. In fact,
viewing her visitors and mind-reading them to find out the truth this scout absolutely refuses to participate in causing more death.
Unfortunately this is the only individual who knows the secret ing the benefits of their success will likely be willing to let the oth-
way to find the entryway to this most dangerous area, not teach- ers go their own way. They might even believe that they don’t
ing anyone else for fear they will have to bear the same guilt. It need them, but if the group divides, the missing part of the group
will be almost astonishingly difficult to make this happen, money, will almost immediately become not only valuable but absolutely
extortion, nothing will work unless the group can convince the vital to their latest task. The missing pieces of the puzzle will fig-
guide in some manner that they have a realistic chance of over- ure prominently in solving their most recent dilemma, and find-
coming this danger, or at the very least surviving. ing substitutes for them able to bring the same level of success
By Benjamin Lomax will be impossible. Depending on how bad the parting of ways
was, healing the rift could be very difficult. Who makes the first
DON’T STOP move, who decides to be the better person and reach out should
prove to be an interesting role playing opportunity. Likely it will
SETTING: Any
take some pride-swallowing on everyone’s behalf to move things
BAIT: The party has started to become a little discouraged by forward.
their lack of success with one particular enemy or campaign goal.
By Benjamin Lomax
It does not seem that anything they do provides them an oppor-
tunity to close the gap, resolve the situation, or actually confront
SONGBIRD
the enemy. This intrudes on their ability to conduct their daily
lives, as they have invested so much time and energy in this par- SETTING: Any
ticular goal that they have sacrificed pursuing any other objec- BAIT: The party is travelling through the woods and have be-
tives, including paying their proper devotions to churches, paying come lost. That they were not entirely sure where they were going
back financial obligations, and all the normal upkeep that suc- in the first place certainly contributed to that condition, but
cessful adventurers need to do. It has become enough of a dis- lessens the impact of it no less. Various magical means are de-
traction that the party is seriously considering totally abandoning bated to find their way out of it, but the only surefire ways to get
this goal and moving on to greener pastures. out would be wasteful, and would also eliminate the pursuing of
TACKLE: The goal they are looking for is surprisingly close, be- the goal they came to the woods for in the first place. After some
hind the scenes the foundations of the enemy or task at hand are time and debate, the group hears a lovely ballad of tweeting com-
crumbling from the party’s constant attacks and efforts, but this ing from the east, presumably the east as the group is indeed quite
is not obvious to the group in any way. In fact their enemy at this lost. Following the sounds, as they have little other in the way of
point is exerting considerable effort to disguise what a shambles options, almost immediately the dense forest opens up and a
their organization is in, more so even than trying to get revenge heretofore invisible trail is revealed which appears to lead in the
or conduct any kind of offensive effort against the party at this right direction. In fact following it reveals just so. Gods bless those
point. This is a true test of character for the party. With no signs of songbirds!
success on the horizon, do they stick to their guns and push TACKLE: Periodically after this detour, when the party is faced
through that last little bit and see the deed done? If they cease with a dilemma, the sound of the songbirds will point them in
their efforts, the enemy will quickly rebuild their strength and be- the right direction. Note this is only during relatively harmless or
come more difficult than they ever were in the past. The party will low-impact choices, such as whether to turn right or left, or
most definitely regret backing off if they choose to do so. whether to go to town or the village. In several repeated cases,
By Benjamin Lomax the songbirds will point the party in the right direction. At some
point, being who they are, the party will likely want to take ad-
GO YOUR OWN WAY vantage of this luck and request the songbirds make an appear-
ance for something life-threatening, or otherwise critically
SETTING: Any
impactful. After some entreaty, the songbirds will sing, queru-
BAIT: The party has experienced a lot of success, but the re- lously and not confidently. Following their advice in this circum-
wards have not been in balance to the efforts of the individuals in stance will be disastrous, the worst possible choice. If the group
the party. Several members have become favorites of the local curses the songbirds as a result or in any way slights them, they
nobility and merchants, rewards and fame thrown their way with will never be heard from again. In fact they are harmless vocal
abandon, while other members of the group, particularly rogues spirits with limited intelligence and are trying to help, but don’t
or spell-casters, are treated like second class citizens, not recog- understand all the ramifications of their help. The party might
nized by their respective guilds or well-connected taskmasters. very well regret not just taking advantage of this lesser power
The division between the party members has become so difficult without questioning it or wanting more.
that it seems like they cannot continue to work together. It seems
By Benjamin Lomaxq
that their alliance might have served its purpose.
TACKLE: Particularly the party leaders or those who are reap-
Lid Grid
AKA: No Gold for You
INTENT: Capture
MECHANISM: Lever, trap door
LETHALITY: Moderate
SUGGESTED DAMAGE: falling and piercing
ENGINEER: Barbara Blackburn
the lady and her aide, who is also her nephew

Fanlay, how the trap works. He had the trap
commissioned just a month before his death,
hoping to ensure his soon-to-be widow’s care.
The treasury room is located in a room with a
locked, heavy door. If a thief gets past the locked
door, he will see a chest decorated with gold in
the room. If he happens to open the chest,
which is locked, a trap will be triggered by the
L
ady Caryl de Ryne lives alone on a vast es-
tate with only one house maid, a gardner
and one personal aide/guard and a pair
of large, protective dogs. She has lived on the
premises for 52 years.
lid of the chest swinging open. When that hap-

pens, a trap door in front of the chest is un-
latched and will collapse underneath anyone
standing on the door. The thief is sent plum-
During most of the time, she lived happily meting down 20 feet into a spiked pit.
with her husband, Lord Forben de Ryne, raising
The lady or her aide can open the chest with-
two boys and a girl in the beautiful country. Her
out triggering the trap by using the small levers
children have long since grown up and moved
concealed in the gold decorations on the chest.
away and Lord de Ryne died a year ago after a
lengthy illness. He prepared his wife for his ab- Anyone who has fallen into the pit, and hasn’t
sence by selling assets and building her a secure escaped by the time the guard and the dogs
room in which to store the wealth. He instructed make their rounds, will be taken to authorities.q

AD&D Trivia Game
PUBLISHER: TSR
TYPE: Card Game
NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 3-10
PLAYING TIME: 1 hour and up
DESIGNER: Richard Borg
DATE PUBLISHED: 1991
FREQUENCY: Common
GOING RATE/USED COPY: $15
SCOUTED BY: Alan Hume
W
hat would you get if Trivial
Pursuit and AD&D games were
to get together and have a
lovechild? The answer is simple, the AD&D
Trivia Game. Now this was a radical idea for
a game (and really different from the usual
TSR staples that were coming out at the time)
and I'm surprised it didn't do better than it
did.
Designed by none other than Richard Borg
of Memoir' 44 fame you know this game
ought to be good (and don't get me wrong,
it is) but it does have it's faults, most obvi- the game this much). Really I'm guessing the
ously the fact that all questions are drawn player pool from which to draw from for this
from the 2nd edition AD&D game (I per- game might be quite slim.
sonally think that they missed a trick here by The questions (drawn from the Player's
tying the game solely into the 2nd edition Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide and
game as AD&D as a whole has such a rich Monstrous Compendium volumes one and
and storied history that asking questions two) are divided into five sets of cards each of
based on Gary's original game as well would, varying difficulty with level one being the
to me at least, make much more sense but I easiest (for example “Who makes the final
digress) and the nature of the questions call on game rules?”
themselves. The answer being the DM obviously) and
The questions are ranked in level of diffi- level five being the hardest (“What are the
culty from one to five and boy do they get properties of a dull gray Ioun stone?” who
difficult (and pretty wild and crazy too) so to knows? Not me anyhow).
be able to answer all of the questions here The game itself is very well presented, it
(and there are six hundred in total) you really comes in a thick, heavy duty full color box
will have to have an encyclopedic knowl- and contains six hundred question cards (in
edge of the AD&D game (and the 2nd edi- their own box to keep them all together), ten
tion game at that). character cards, five divider cards (for the
I'm just not that sure that anyone out there question card box) and sixty two sided skull
has quite that level of knowledge (but I guess markers.
there must be someone out there who loves
TSR did a good job here (although, as I say, oughly shuffled (if you play often you really
I wish they had concentrated at least some- must make sure you do this properly or you
what on 1st edition but I'm guessing 2nd edi- will very likely end up answering the same
tion was their sole focus at this point in time). questions time after time) and placed in the
In the game you take on the role (hey, it's question box (divided into their five different
AD&D even though it's a card game there levels of difficulty).
had to be some roleplaying in there some- Simple, now you're ready to play. Players
where right?) of an AD&D game character take turns answering questions (with the
and try to answer questions about the player to your right acting as the QM or
AD&D 2nd edition game. 'Question Master' naturally enough).
Get an answer right and you will wound The QM draws a card of the desired diffi-
one of the opposing players (also playing cult level (your choice) and reads it aloud you
AD&D characters) or heal one of your own must now do your best to answer the ques-
wounds. The last player standing wins the tion (and while there is no time limit per se I
game, it's pretty straightforward really. think a little bit of common sense goes a
To start the game each player chooses one long way here, basically don't take all day if
of the rather natty fully illustrated character you don't know the answer give in and move
cards (with many familiar images drawn from on).
across the AD&D game) either a warrior, wiz- If you cannot answer or get the question
ard, rogue, priest or monster with each wrong then your turn is over and you be-
player aiming to pick a different class. come the new QM.. If you get the answer
A 'skull pool' is made up by each player tak- right you must draw one skull marker from
ing six skull markers and placing them in the the skull pool for each difficulty level of the
empty lid of the question box (more on their question asked (so a 5th level question
use later) and the question cards are thor- draws five markers for example).
Carefully examine the markers you just It's a pretty neat, but simple game, perhaps
drew from the skull pool, if any of them TSR thought it was a little too straightforward
shows an opposing player's character class because on the back of the rulesheet they
then that opponent has taken a wound and have tagged on a set of optional rules, there
the marker is placed skull side up on their are rules for balancing play between players
character card (if two opponents both have of different difficulty levels, a stopwatch
the same character class you must choose game for fast and furious action, a 'cutthroat'
who takes the wound so you can gang up on game where players are penalized and take a
a character that is already wounded in an ef- wound for giving a wrong answer and more.
fort to take them out of the game, nice). It all adds to what is really a nice little game.
All well and good so far, should you draw a There is also an option for tournament team
marker featuring your own character class play which is a nice option if you have a lot of
however you are not, as you might expect, people who would like to play together as a
wounded but instead are healed. You may group or want to run this a quick and nasty
remove one skull marker from your character convention game to fill in some time be-
card and return it to the pool along with the tween proper RPG's.
marker you drew. Overall it's a great concept for a game and
If you draw a marker featuring your own I'm surprised it hasn't been done before, (or
character class and another player is also since) but I think most players (unless they
playing that same class then you have a are a Supra-genius at AD&D 2nd edition) will
choice, you may either use that marker to find the game, certainly at it's higher levels,
heal yourself or instead wound the opposing rather frustrating as they will probably get
character, it's up to you and it's gives the more answers wrong than they ever get right.
game a nice tactical edge. But still, it is a fun game and will keep you
As soon as a character has six skull markers entertained for an evening for sure, Some of
on their card then they are dead and out of the questions are really out there too but if
the game, the game continues until all but you can get past that then, as I say, it does
one character has been eliminated and the make for a fun (and very nostalgic) game and
surviving player is the winner. seeing as how you can pick it up pretty
cheaply these days it's worth a shot.q

A Red and Pleasant Land
BY: Zak S
PUBLISHED BY: Lamentations of the Flame Princess
REVIEW BY: J.L. Duncan
elcome to a review of A Red and Pleasant Land, a
W bizarre and beautiful setting book for Lamentations
of the Flame Princess or just about any earlier edition (best A Red and Pleasant Land is a setting and adventure
for Basic or 1st Edition), or clone of Dungeons and Drag- book. If Lewis Carrol, Bram Stoker and John Eric Holmes
ons (D&D) you might be playing. This review concerns the decided to take a car trip in a Cooper Mini from Los An-
portable document format (PDF). For reference, I have a geles to Seattle, because what else would these fine time-
first edition in print as well. A Red & Pleasant Land was traveling gentlemen have to do on a random Tuesday
released in 2014. In 2015. evening… A Red & Pleasant Land would be the name of
the book, about the bare knuckle brawl that ensued.
It was awarded four ENnie awards; two gold: Best Writ-
ing and Best Setting, and two silver: Product of the Year The setting is the war torn Place of Unreason, formerly
and Best Adventure. The PDF is available at dri- known as the Land of Voivodja. In the north is the Card
vethrurpg.com and rpgnow.com. The print version is avail- Castle, the rule of the Heart Queen Elizabeth Bathyscape.
able on the Lamentations of the Flame Princess site To the south, The Looking Glass Castle; the red house of
(lotfp.com), among other places. The company is based in the Red King, Vlad Vortigen. A war between these two
Helsinki, Finland. vampire houses has gone on an indefinable amount years,
months, or days upon the player characters arrival. The
A Red and Pleasant Land is a difficult book to review,
cause of the war is unknown. And to the last two points,
but thankfully not for the usual reasons. First, it is unique.
and like so many other features of this book, these ele-
Second, the maps and the illustration style are more im-
ments are left open for the Referee (Ref) to determine as
pressionistic and almost abstract in spots rather than
they choose.
clean. Third and arguably most important, the book does-
n’t endorse, nor does it resemble your Grandfather’s or Wherever The Place of Unreason fits in the Ref’s cam-
your Dad’s D&D setting. It is a mash of strangeness, in- paign world, it is hidden and difficult to access. To the
spired by Lewis Carrol’s Through the Looking-Glass, with north and east it is shadowed by the Carpathian Moun-
vampires replacing the principle ruling class, for reasons tains, while to the south and west forested by the Terrible
of which I’m uncertain. Goblin Wood. The human population has been severely
decreased by the vampire presence. The setting is a
In case you are thinking it, the book is not of your fa-
strange caricature (of an already strange land) of Won-
vorite D&D setting (Greyhawk, Forgotten Realms etc.)
derland, the world as its best represented in Lewis Carrol’s
meets Ravenloft, by any sense of comparison. Honestly, it
novels, Through the Looking-Glass and less so, Alice and
doesn’t even try to do this. As a product, it is a very specific
Wonderland.
and very strange sort of thing. It is thoroughly, an inter-
esting book cover to cover. The terrain is divided by square-like a chessboard,
though unlike Through the Looking-Glass the means of

division are more to do with the altitude or height (or lack meticulously laid out and are very much like a dungeon.
thereof) of each square, rather than by division of hedge. Some of the strangeness within these castles is occasion-
The terrain is left to the Referee to decide how these var-
ally anticipated, but great deal is unique. Some of my fa-
ied altitudes connect or even if they connect be it by por-
tal, bridge, stair, ladder or earthly passage. The squares are vorite elements are the little things:
unique unto themselves, the characteristics of which will One instance of this is that items are occasionally refer-
be mostly left for the Referee to fill in via useful series of ta- enced with the following descriptor, I’m paraphrasing:
bles.
“Items or furniture of this room are worth two or three
Through a looking glass is the Quiet Side (the above
mentioned is the War Side), which is a mirrored reality. It times their weight in gold.” While this descriptor might be
is a place the gods can’t see (so clerics can’t cast spells) an affront to old school sense or game ability (coin = ex-
and where vampires don’t exist (lack of reflection). Only perience), its use made me put my put my Dungeon Mas-
the Red King and his Red Brides can cross to the Quiet ter hat on (don’t you have one of those?) and ask why?
Side willingly, for but a moment. The Red King uses this
ability, and falls to immediate to sleep there, and so that After that, I found myself imagining the Red Kings fa-
his rest is safe and undisturbed. Lesser vampires use mir- vorite arm chair (the one worth three times its weight in
rors to call out and lure humans from the Quiet Side for a gold) recently gone missing and the player characters
meal.
hired to find it. Or reading the line straight to my player
The Heart Queen can make an appearance if her name
group, just to see what they would make of such a simple,
is called three times. The Player characters are very limited
by the amount of time (mere seconds) they can inhabit yet odd concept. Was this what the author intended? Am
the Quiet Side; the silence drives them mad, but like the I a reading a bit too much into this simple turn of phrase?
Red King they too can keep their sanity if they can will That’s likely. But still, and like Carrol’s work, a weird and
themselves to sleep… Rest, keep their sanity, and hope-
well placed phrase (or unsolvable riddle) is a perfect fit for
fully be rescued. Almost every being who exists on the
War Side has a Quiet Side equivalent and still does even this strange and dark world. And better than this, it gets
after they are slain. the reader or in this case the DM thinking.
The Land of Unreason is a rich with unique character There are two print errors of note: the handouts for
and monsters encounters. Most of the outlandish inter-
Fragment 6 and Chess Puzzle are missing. If you pick up
actions, which are natural choices to those familiar with
the fictional works of Lewis Carrol are therein, and have a the second printing I have no idea if these were amended.
chapter (and stats) dedicated to them. With the PDF these errors are nonexistent.
Admittedly, while it had been sometime since I’d read In conclusion, A Red & Pleasant Land is certainly
Alice and Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass,
strange and has some awesome features that with a little,
(which, I did blow the dust off both) the author has left
few stones, if any, unrecycled. There is even an opportu- “do it yourself,” you can plug and play with most RPG sys-
nity for player characters to make an Alice, the settings tems. The stranger elements don’t really journey to far
only offer of a character class, but one that is more than from the inspired source material.
worthy and a perfectly quirky fit for the setting.
The specific way these elements were engineered for
Adventure and nonsensical randomness, is generated
the purpose of an RPG supplement is very well done. At
through a respectable amount of tables. While use of
these tables is enticing, but not required, their utility is in- the same time, if you’re in the market for a product with a
disputable; and entirely built to strengthen the setting. more standard old school approach, the niche and
Many of these can be stripped of their nonsensical ele- strangeness of the Through the Looking-Glass setting,
ments and reutilized for any system, but the most im-
with vampires added in for flavor, might not appeal. Apart
pressive thing about them is the way the author has
reversed engineered Carrol’s work for use as an RPG sup- from all the above, while the review style for this column
plement. doesn’t usually point out the finer and more subjective as-
While a good deal of the land, and basic plot points of pects of composition, this book is literally one of the most
the interior locations are left open for the Ref, both the unique and interesting RPG products that has graced my
Card Castle and The Looking Glass Castle are thoroughly table… And (I cannot help myself but) unlike D&D 4th
detailed. Each space or room is described with a bullet
point of three or four features on average, and if relevant Edition, the awards are well deserved.q
the purpose of each space. In design, both castles are

Uncover Ancient Horror
& Modern Cults with
Call of Cthulhu
Seeking inspiration for scenarios of my own brought me to the
Miskatonic University Podcast. Now on its 128th episode, the pod-
cast delves into various aspects of Call of Cthulhu. Its most recent shows
consisted of deep dives into the long-awaited Pulp Cthulhu source-
book while others have delved into hobby happenings like The Yellow
King kickstarter by Pelgrane Press, new metal Call of Cthulhu dice by
Q-Workshop, and much more. There are also live play episodes such
as the “Ebon Eaves” live play based on the Apocalypse World engine.
The Cthulhu Podcast features readings of the works of H.P. Love-
craft as well as stories, history, and music from the 1920s era. These in-
clude Lovecraft classics like the RPG’s namesake story “Call of Cthulhu”,
“Herbert West, Re-animator”, and “Dreams of the Witch House” as well
as stories like “The Ghost Pirates” by WH Hodgeson. The podcast has
over 250 episodes and represents hours of potential listening.
all of Cthulhu was the first non-Dungeons & Dragons role- A cornucopia of Lovecraftian media awaits visitors at The Lovecraft
C playing game I played and it’s a game I’ve returned to time and
time again over the years. This time around it’s the new Delta
Green role-playing game that’s drawing me back to the grandfather
Ezine. The website features lists of Mythos movies, print collections
of Lovecraftian inspired fiction, an overview of Lovecraft video games,
and book recommendations.
of horror role-playing games.
Propnomicon is an amazing site that highlights Cthulhu inspired
Delta Green began as a campaign setting and series of source creations from around the world. Recent posts featured a Deep One
books for the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game. It’s since morphed mask, the surreal Hand of Y'golonac, the striking black-and-red Ob-
into an RPG of its own based on the ‘d100’ system. Kickstarted in Oc- scurus wand, and much more.q
tober 2015, the game has seen its Agent’s Handbook published while
the core rule book (formerly known as Case Officer’s Handbook) is
slowly making its way toward print. The website is updated every few
weeks with new scenario ideas, as well as the occasional variant rule DELTA GREEN
like “Less Lethal Options in Delta Green”. http://www.delta-green.com
CTHULHU REBORN
I don’t know if I’ll get to run a Delta Green campaign – my gaming
https://cthulhureborn.wordpress.com
group is in the middle of a high level D&D resurgence thanks to Fifth
YOG SOTHOTH: SCENARIO LIST
Edition– but one shots are always a possibility. That’s led me back to
http://www.yog-sothoth.com/wiki/index.php/CoC:Scenarios
the Web looking for adventure ideas … and that brought me to
YOG-SOTHOTH
Cthulhu Reborn. The fan website is packed with awesome content
http://www.yog-sothoth.com
that includes scenarios, character sheets for several eras and cam-
MISKATONIC UNIVERSITY PODCAST
paigns, and game handouts. It also hosts the fan-created board game
http://www.mu-podcast.com
Arkham Investigator as well as the Convicts & Cthulhu, a 96-page
CTHULHU PODCAST
sourcebook detailing how to run a campaign set in convict-era Aus-
http://cthulhupodcast.blogspot.com
tralia.
CTHULHU DARK
Continuing my quest I came across Yog Sothoth’s “Scenario List”. http://catchyourhare.com/files/Cthulhu%20Dark.pdf
The authoritative index lists every Call of Cthulhu scenario ever pub- THE LOVECRAFT EZINE
lished in a non-magazine publication. There are dozens of scenarios https://lovecraftzine.com
listed and all of them are sortable by publication year, publisher, era, PROPNOMICON
book, and author. Yog-Sothoth itself remains the definitive fan com- http://propnomicon.blogspot.com
munity for all things Mythos. The website features the latest and great-
est Cthulhu news and a tremendously active fan forum. It’s also home
to the archives of Yog Radio, the long-running (but now sadly defunct)
Cthulhu podcast.

Pride and Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility
by Jane Austen (Adapted by Nancy Butler)
was originally released as a five-part comic series, but were then col-
lected and released as trade paperback volumes, as well as hardback.
What struck me most about these adaptations, however, wasn’t the
nature of the words, but just how the differing artwork affected those
words. P&P is illustrated by Hugo Petrus, while S&S is illustrated by Sony
Liew. The former attempts character designs that are more realistic in
nature, while the latter opts for something more cartoonish. And it has
a distinct effect on how the books are read and enjoyed. Petrus is at
times hamstrung by his own realism, choosing images of characters in
the midst of talking that, had they been a snapshot taken with a cell-
phone, would have instantly been deleted. They convey the realism of
the moment, sure, but aren’t always pleasing to the eye. Of course, the
hen I was very young, Illustrated Classics introduced me to alternative would be to have everyone always in a perfect pose, and
a world of literature I wasn’t quite ready for. Big stories, like that would have been just as problematic, since it no longer conveys
Moby Dick or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, or, my per- anything dynamic.
sonal favorite, Around the World in 80 Days, were all made more ac- Liew, on the other hand, not only draws more cartoonishly, he delves
cessible by being presented in comic book format. at times into a level of “chibi” level cartoonishness. While not at all re-
Illustrated Classics have been around in one form or another by alistic, it’s highly effective at conveying moments of humor and nuance
various publishers for a long time—in fact, the versions I read were when it’s most needed, far more so than a more realistic style can. That
first printed when my father was a kid. And while the more snobbish can said, I personally would have liked to have seen a combination of these
be dismissive of these books, looking at them as simple “cheat sheets” two art styles—something that knew when to be realistic and when to
for students unwilling to spend the time actually reading the novel in cartoon it up, but feel consistent at the same time.
question, I’ve always seen them as a gateway drug. At the time that I I must admit, however, that I prefer P&P’s imaginative covers (some
read these, I simply didn’t have the attention span (or vocabulary) to done by Liew), which are set up like the covers of a Cosmo-like maga-
follow the originals, but being presented in a visual format helped me zine, featuring such cover lines as “What to think when he thinks you’re
understand, visualize, and get lost in these worlds. thinking,”“17 Secrets about SUMMER DRESSES,” and “How to CURE your
But that doesn’t mean I stopped enjoying them when I got older. BOY-CRAZY SISTERS!” The cover images are done in muted tones and
Today, they’re a way to quickly revisit a favorite story without investing styles more appropriate to the age, rather than being all bright colors
the same amount of time, and it’s always interesting to see how an and revealing too much skin. Butler’s adaptations of the text can be
artist chooses to depict your favorite characters or scenes. problematic at times, however. In P&P, while all the key moments are
Sometimes it’s like seeing the storyboards for a movie that never got there on the page, the transitions sometimes felt confusing, almost as
made. I was already well acquainted with the works of Jane Austen by if she expected the reader to be familiar with the work already.
the time I dove into Marvel’s 2000-era line of Illustrated Classics. Some of these shortcomings are made up for in S&S due to the artist’s
These comics were produced from 2007 until 2013, covering everything ability to convey more than just how a character looks or where they
from The Iliad to The Wizard of Oz. are at any given moment. It’s a better example of how an artist and
But rather than indulging in a story easily translated due to its action- writer can work together to convey meaning.As for the stories them-
packed nature or distinctive visuals, I thought I’d look at a couple that selves, well, it’s Jane Austen, isn’t it? Of course it’s good. Her satirical wit
were more challenging for the adapter and artist alike: Pride and Prej- shines through as clearly on the illustrated page as it does in the origi-
udice, and Sense and Sensibility. Both of these were adapted by nal formats. If you are a fan of Illustrated Classics like I am, the series as
award-winning romance writer Nancy Butler, who’d always wondered a whole is worth checking out. Remember, they cover a lot more than
why comic books didn’t try to attract more girl readers and thought of just Regency-era romance.
this as a step in the right and oft-neglected direction. Each adaptation
CRISIS: TOKYO
Ninja Division
Publishing, LLC • http://www.ninjadivision.com/
here's something... attractive about crushing Tokyo. Maybe it's all the
Tunsuccessfully,
Godzilla, Mothra, and giant battle robots that have tried over the years,
to bring the city to its knees. (It's not successful if it keeps
happening, kids!) In the spirit of being that megalomaniac bent on domi-
nating this small corner of the globe, Crisis:Tokyo has everything a player
needs. In this game, you are a Trans-dimensional Evil Lord (cue: hysterical
laughter) bent on conquering Earth...starting with Tokyo! Players will ful-
fill those goals by destroying city districts with evil minions, while other Evil Lords (players) try to pre-
vent them by manipulating heroes into an effective defense. (All so they can drop the act later and
destroy the district themselves, of course.) Some of the elements will be more familiar to fans of
Japanese animation than others (and the graphics definitely look like they could be transferred from
SEND REVIEW COPIES TO: card to screen with no major adjustment!) but the game itself carries a solid set of mechanics to ap-
KODT: BRIAN’S PICKS
309 S. Dilger Ave. peal to any crowd, from the most hard-core otaku to a casual gamer looking for something new.
Waukegan, IL 60085 BRIAN’S RATING: A non-collectible card game that takes up very little space to carry or play.
WORLD’S FAIR 1893 DEAD LAST

Foxtrot Games/Renegade Game Studio • Smirk & Dagger Games
http://www.renegadegamestudios.com/ http://www.smirkanddagger.com/
T ravel back in time to 1893

with the help of a new-
I f the name of the publisher
doesn't give you a hint about
this game, you may not live
fangled contraption (for its through the first round.
day!) and a whimsical board The rounds are quick and easy.
game from Foxtrot Games, In classic tontine style, pooled
and Renegade Game Studios. money is on the line for the in-
In World's Fair 1893, players vestor who survives the longest. Rather than waiting for time
take on the responsibility of or 'happy' accidents, everyone loses patience all at once and
organizing the acclaimed event, gathering influential figures votes who they'd like to knock off. A majority wins the day,
and rearranging supporters to secure approval for their ex- and ties take out both victims - but don't count your gold be-
hibits. fore the bodies have hit the floor.
Score points to move the cars around the Ferris Wheel (the If sneaky, backstabbing friends can't take you out this
most iconic attraction of the exhibition), but be careful. The round, they'll try on the next one. And you may find out just
game ends in three rounds, and its everybody off! (2-4 Play- how loyal they truly are in a final showdown. (6-12 People)
ers, 10+)
BRIAN’S RATING: A challenge worthy of Odin himself! BRIAN’S RATING: A fast-paced party game that
encourages collaboration and back-stabbing through multiple
rounds. Great for large groups!
hey -- 36,000
PEEPS -- it
Can’t HURT.
am \ RIGHT?

wait a minute...
BRING UP CAMERA ONE...
sunuva...
w-what the HELL

is THAT ass clown
DOING..?!!
So, I downloaded the free version of the game B.A. and Patty go on a double date with Shee
from the Kenzer website and have read up on the and Bob (assuming they get back together). I can
rules. The group is meeting, Sunday to roll up new just picture Sheila cutting Bob’s steak for him and
A
characters and then we’re going to give reminding him to chew before swallowing.
s the subheading indicates, this is a sounding Frandor’s Keep a try.
board where gamers can give their two-cents’ Okay, maybe not that last part.
worth on whatever seems to rile them. So pull back the I’m a little nervous but the combat system
curtain and come on in the Back Room. You can leave especially looks really interesting. I’ll let you know Another request for a Patty’s Perps strip.
that thin skin at the door, but be sure to bring your Really looking forward to seeing Sheila at that
opinions with you. Note that due to space limitations how it goes.
some letters are edited. table. And please keep the special edition trade
Keep those comics coming my friends. I can’t
Got something to say? We wanna hear it. Just use one paperbacks coming.They are winners and a lot of
of the following options; tell you how much joy they bring to our table each
fun.
^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenz- month.
erco.com and visit our discussion forums.
Dennis Young 7 Todd Deming .
7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader
mail, back room fodder and questions to jolly@kenz- Stop peeking at my notes, Toddy. ;) — Jolly
erco.com. King of the Pallet Climbers
.: via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o Coke out the nose moment in this issue (245) Men that Hack
KenzerCo, 309 S. Dilger Ave, Waukegan, IL 60085.
when Bob lost his footing and set off the Hey Jol, just finished the latest issue. Great read.
KODT 245 sprinklers in the Hard Eight warehouse. So much going on the last few issues. How do you
With the bad reputation Muncie has among keep it all going? So much fun.
So much fun. This issue had a lot of laugh out
gaming circles in the world of KODT, I had to Someone recently asked if you ever feel burned
loud moments, guys. Great job. Damn, how many
laugh. Gary got played by the Knights (and Brian
issues back was the set up for the current stories? out. Such a common thing with cartoonists. Just
in particular) and the faces of the H8 crew staring
The Golden Ticket Acquisition Society, the how do you keep things fresh?
at the security camera screen was precious.
road trips, the adventures at GaryCon. And before This entire warehouse arc reminds me of the I really enjoyed the Men that Hack sneak
that the Pwn Brian Express games and the Hard frantic pace of It’s a Mad Mad Mad World (which peek. Sara turning the tables on the guys in such a
Eight Crew driving down to investigate (and Gary I believe another reader pointed out on Face big way is hilarious. I can’t wait to pick this one up.
getting hosed and losing all his magic items). Book). Not an easy thing to do in a two dimen- As alway, big fan of Kenzer’s work.
One of the things I love about Knights is the sional comic but you pulled it off. Jeff D. 7
fact the pay off just keeps coming. Really impressed with the ton of new art and Thanks, Jeff. The ever changing story arcs help a
I recently started a new D&D 5e group. Mostly all the hard work that went into this issue. lot with burn out. For example, having the guys
new players and several of them have taken to B.A. and Patty are adorable together by the away from the table for several issues now has me
borrowing my issues of KODT and taking them way. And yes, I feel soft having just typed that. eager to get them back. Also, rotating between
home to read. Long story short, when they discov- They really do seem like a good fit and the story groups and genres. But most importantly, being
ered HackMaster is a real game they started opportunities are tremendous. surrounded by talented people who continually
twisting my arm to change over to that system. Oh, here’s an idea for you. inspire and offer ideas and comments. —Jolly q
READ
KODT
ONLINE!
by larry elmore ©2017
all rights reserved.

KISS THE FISH!!!
The BABY
SITTING
MAGICIAN
Serving the
Muncie Area
-Summon-
me today!!
mark your
Calendars --
no worries, hoss. KENZERCO
will be appearing
you can SUBSCRIBE to KODT at the following
and load up on BACK ISSUES conventions in
and other KENZERCO products at
www.kenzerco.com. 2017
GAMEHOLE • MADISON • NOVEMBER 2-5

CON ON THE COB • OHIO • NOVEMBER 9-12
HROOO!!
WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN BOARD

is a meeting place where readers may pass along information, barter, trade and gossip. Readers are invited to place classified ads, announce group meetings, seek out other players,
etc. Subscribers of KODT may place classified ads free of charge with a limit of one ad per issue and a maximum of twenty-five words. Non-Subscribers may place ads at the rate of
50¢ per word with a limit of 25 words. Companies may place ads at the following rates: [5.5” x 2” - $175], [2.75” x 2” - $95], [1.5” x 1” - $50]. Non-profit organizations (serving the
gaming community) and Conventions or Seminars may place ads for free. All ads are placed on a first-come first-served basis with subscribers having priority.
the GOBLIN SHAMAN climbs up on the PLATFORM beside the
IRON POT and wets his finger in the BROTH and tastes it.
not SATISFIED he adds some more SPICES and HERBS.
as he begins stirring the pot with the HUGE ladle

you begin swirling in circles again among the bubbling stew.
seriously, b.a...? not what \ imagined when they told

mark off us we were invited to a FEAST.
another
you’re gonna
1d6 of b.a. \ try to
MAKE us sit here so — we’re NOT
SIMMERING break my bind-
as we’re made getting PEACH
DAMAGE. ings again!
into STEW...? COBBLER then?
Gut-Punching Mayhem in Small Doses
GANGING UP on EDDIE and STRIPPING him of his MAGIC ITEMS

was NOT what \ meant by “WORKING TOGETHER AS A TEAM” guys. we were just
practicing a little
WEALTH REDISTRIBUTION,
what are you \’m sorry, patty. little sister.
talking about?
my character BELIEVED them
it was a COORDINATED when they said EDDIE’s
effort. it took leadership, character was having a SEIZURE. he HAD it — and
planning, execution.... we WANTED it.
\ can KEEP the
ROBE OF HIDING.
don’t play right?
dumb, chad.
THAT WASN’T FUNNY, BRIAN. STOP IT¡¡ \ don’t CARE if you’ve been a DOZEN
community theater musicals and plays.
YOU HEAR— you LEAVE my HENCHMAN ALONE.
well... that is certainly your
perogative. \ was only
he’s okay, dave. \ KNOW how SUGGESTING a more suitable
FERRET FACE to run a
-snort- voice timbre for a fae creature
EDDIE has a the BARN ROOF PIXIE FAIRY — who smokes clove leaves...
DEBILITATING broke his fall. thank you
HURL NPC...
FEAR OF very much.
HEIGHTS. your interpretation
the broken best SPELL just seems a TAD nerdiest
ribs will heal. ever, dude. so BUTT out!!
OFF - but whatever. nerd fight
ever.

“um... what was
that SQUISHING
sound...?!!”
HEY MAN.
CHECK IT OUT.
WE PAY FOR
CARTOONS¡¡
\ dunno — just doesn’t seem RIGHT

usin’ FLAMEBEAST OGRESLAYER like this.
dude, you should RENAMEit to

“FLAMEBROIL BURGER SLAYER”...!!
hey — these OWLBEAR BURGERS

aren’t gonna COOK themselves.
By Paul Shiner

ASK
F
YOU OR IT A
R LO T
GAM CAL
ES
OR O HOP!
I
RDE
R
!
T
W.K FROM
WW
ENZ
ERC
O.CO
M
bit.ly/hacklopedia2

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What is the magazine about?

What is the magazine about?

What types of content does it feature?

What types of content does it feature?

Bundle of Trouble vol.

The Return to Meatgrinder Rock

49 Bait And Tackle

39 Pride and Prejudice/Sense and

Nostalgia 59 Brian’s Picks

2 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 3

4 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

to be honest — my parents, they... MY PARENTS TOO...

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 7

8 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

REMINDER: REVIEW MATERIAL,

309 S. Dilger Ave,

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 9

THE FELTON RESIDENCE: it’s what’s the

\ can HARDLY yeah —\ thought SURE he

“LUCK”...?!! luck didn’t have anything

10 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

PALEEZE - that’s just

^ “\ thought this game was called hackmaster not ‘let’s

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 11

LATER THAT SAME NIGHT...

unfortunately for YOU — AGENT HUMLEY has CIRCLED around

this MISSION is a BUST, guys. \ knew this PLAN wouldn’t work.

12 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

oh wow — kewl beans, dude. the COSTS per move

^ “ummmm… they made the BIBLE into a HACKMASTER SUPPLEMENT?”

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 13

it just so happens, b.a. isn’t the ONLY what are you

its ORIGINS may be rooted huh...? just a SIMPLE meditative

it’s ONE-TENTH the

14 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

eh — pay it no mind, dude. he’s just

maybe this guy okay, b.a. — \ do some POSTURING as well.

three rounds later…

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 15

several rounds later still...

GAAAA...¡¡¡ damn - he’s this is BRUTAL. poor

a bit later... HUMLEY sweeps your knee, bob — you go

fun’s fun but any more of this ABUSE

if you mean he’ll be DEAD,

16 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

sure — FUMBLES HAPPEN. um — minus FOUR -sputter-

GRRRUUP — \ execute no, dave.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 17

\’m a CRACK SHOT. whadda

do it dave. h-hold on...

18 Knights of the Dinner Table® #247

frickin’ A. KA-BOOM¡¡¡ -KA-CHUNK-

Knights of the Dinner Table® #247 19

several damage rolls later...

bob six more pellets of BUCKSHOT tear through

one pellet hits you in the RIGHT EYE.

TWO strike you in the LARYNX...