Knights of The Dinner Table 256
Knights of The Dinner Table 256
Knights of The Dinner Table 256
Bundles of Trouble
are all available now
as print books or PDFs.
www.kenzerco.com
CONTENTS
ISSUE 256: THIS BE GM’S DAY
REGULAR COLUMNS
33 Gamer’s Pulpit
Peekaboo, I SEE You! by Jack Shannon
DEPARTMENTS 46 Tales from the Table
Actual Tales from the Gaming Table
4 Cries from the Attic 57 Web Scryer
Editorial of a madman by Ken Newquist A Cornucopia of Gamer Food
GAMEMASTER’S WORKSHOP
5 Table Talk: Letters Page
42 Denizens of Tellene
Goldhorse, Baneli, Col. Haren, Young Horse by Barb Blackburn
Our readers talk back
48 All Things Magic
60 Back Room at the Games Pit Beads of Cursing by Barb Blackburn
51 Deadly Trappings
62 Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board
Classified ads, personals The Pinball by Paul Dunford
and other strangeness
SPECIAL FEATURES
35 REVIEWS
59 Brian’s Picks
Jaunty Jalopies, Middenarde,
Dumb A**
© Copyright 2018, Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table® magazine
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D T ™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn
NIGHTS OF THE INNER ABLE
K way back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, Shadis. It was
something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought.
Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions,
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able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM
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Kenzer, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our
inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 256 issues and over 80 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us.
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Knights of the Dinner Table® #256 5
T his year’s Nexus Game Fair was a blast, as you can see
from the pictures. Great gaming, awesome vendors and
tons of fun were what the weekend in Milwaukee was all
about. It was great to rub elbows with fellow gamers and hang
out with friends as well.
Above: Weird Pete behind the counter of the “Games Pit Stop” — the original name of his shop before part of the sign fell down. This
rare glimpse into the history of the Games Pit was presented as part of a Bonus Strip in the back of Bundle of Trouble vol. 3.
FLOYD’s a little SHEEPISH we literally have ONE shot at of EXPLORING the CUERVO. we were
and EMBARRASSED realizing BURNING OFF precious FUEL every SECOND we DEBATED the issue.
what he’s just done.
once we entered the ATMOSPHERE of KALI CETI NINE
he knows it was a MISSTEP. — \’m guessin’ that option is forever off the table.
but honestly — DECISIVE ACTION it seemed to FLOYD like we owe it to ourselves to investigate - see if
is just part of his natural — there are any survivors, materials or information on our sister ship.
albeit unrefined, leadership
abilities kickin’ in.
well sure - but we should’ve oh - you’ve got
darn it, made that decision together. no argument
he probably
B.A. will from me on that.
you LOOK
just did us
a FAVOR.
this way... that’s all just playin’ my
we’re saying. character is all.
KL
KLI ICK
CK
***
* See KODT# 255: After the players ,”split the party”, Sara separated the two groups to stem the exchange of information that was going back and forth at the table.
** Cuervo: The Margolla’s sister ship. In orbit around Kali Ceti Nine.
*** See KODT#254: B.A. is informed his character has a special ability. But he doesn’t yet know what it does. Sara informed him she would ‘cue’ him when it was working by
clicking her ink pen.
in the DISTANCE a DIM POINT just to your RIGHT — toward the planet, a BRILLIANT
of light swings into the flash of light rises up as the MARGOLLA continues
frame of your VIEW PORT. to break up, tumble and BURN UP on its DESCENT.
hey - staying
HYDRATED is important.
good thinking, brian. in answer to your question, b.a... it’s a SHAME none of
you have any -ahem-
you punch up your device you COULD attempt to PILOT the PILOTING SKILLS.
and the DATA comes up... pod manually — with an UNSKILLED
ROLL at EXTREME DIFFICULTY.
but it proves useless. it might give you a
MARGINAL chance of
due to the even if you succeeded — FUEL reaching the CUERVO.
SPARTAN EXPENDITURE would be off the
nature of the chain due to INEFFICIENCY.
ESCAPE POD you better do something —
g
but that
according to the INDICATOR you will option is out
— access to the OVERSHOOT the CUERVO in SIX MINUTES.
ELECTRONICS and \ suppose.
computer can six
only be made minutes?
from the EXTERIOR.
^ “\ still don’t know what the HELL \ did to set her off. i’m pretty sure she’s the one who tipped over
that PORTA POTTY while \ was in it at REN FAIR last summer.” —Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #112, Making it Real
whatta ya mean
with NO computer er... \ MAY have you “MAY”...?
and SHORT on fuel...? some piloting skills
that could be useful. y-you
WHAT..?!!
might be a QUICK
death — but
what the hell.
well not the BIG BOYS - but \ didn’t WITHHOLD it. it, um — oh \ see —
shuttles, couriers and the like... never came up. that’s all.
heh.
* KODT 255— As the group was about to jettison thier escape pod they noticed a “disabled” shuttle that had been in the same bay had mysteriously disappeared.
so \ have PILOTING
SMALL CRAFT — at 74% now — this is
\’m going to
going to be an which AGAIN have
IGNORE that — \’m assuming that would be OPPOSED roll — SUFFERED from
and move along. USEFUL for an ESCAPE POD..?
CENTURIES
you are literally of NEGLECT.
you can certainly switch FIGHTING the
so what do to MANUAL CONTROL and CONTROLS
you want to make the ATTEMPT. yes. of the POD.
do, patty?
go ahead and give me a
check — with moderate oh okay. c’mon, b.a.
difficulty rating. let it
register.
KLI
KLI CK KLI
CK KLI CK
CK
moments later...
one of the MANEUVER
THRUSTERS is FULL ON
\ made it — \ rolled stuck and goes WILD!!
well that makes sense, \ suppose.
a MODIFIED fifty-six.
so here goes — \’m taking CONTROL. causing the POD
ah. sorry, patty. to SPIN and TUMBLE.
^ “\ rolled up a TEXICAN BOUNTY HUNTER with ambidextrous NUMCHUCK proficiency last night.”
— Dave Bozwell., KODT Issue #112, Random Deck of Violence
anything
on that but now and then —
so what do..? what emergency
are you CAN we do..? channel, sara? you’re not sure
going to do..?
if it’s WISHFUL thinking
or a cruel trick of the
pod’s acoustics...
KLI
KLI CK
CK
MORSE CODE?
you’re not sure. but you THOUGHT you maybe a
heard something just beneath the hiss. SCRUTINY
FERENGI. \’ll take roll is
ANYTHING, sara. in order —
\ FIDDLE with knobs
a “HELLO” cruel, and push some buttons. let someone
maybe? sara. else try, b.a.
or maybe not.
can \ ADJUST
this thing?
^ “the FLOOR of the cell is QUICKLY covered by an ever widening POOL of BLOOD…
you can take COMFORT in the fact your PRESENCE in the world will LONG be given WITNESS
by the BLOOD STAINED planks.” —Brian Van Hoose, KODT Issue #111, A Few Loose Ends
my um... ALLERGIES
are flaring up.
\ got em
RIGHT here.
moments later...
alright - alright. sigh- \ guess
my GM skills are a little rusty.
there ARE
think you could follow me to the LIVING ROOM?
now WHAT do you DOPPELGANGER RULES
oh — well sure. make of THAT? in HACKWURLD as \ recall.
\’m right
we’ll be back behind you.
momentarily, those two makin’ off maybe we TIE him up
folks. for a PRIVATE chat. when he comes back.
just to be safe.
no pun
intended.
^ “…there are no UNUSUAL slopes, no NEW constructions, no DEADFALLS, no TRAPS on the FRICKIN’
ceiling, no SHIFTING STONES, no SWINGING BLADES, no EXPLOSIVE RUNES. in fact the TRAP DOOR
just MAGICALLY disappeared revealing a SMALL CHEST …” —B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #110, Breaking Point…
to see if they
WHY..? the have any DOC
way BACK to GRUNYON.
b.a.’s place is
STRAIGHT.
\’m on EMPTY here. this thing \ just HOPE we don’t besides — you
only has a THREE GALLON reserve. end up WALKING — over got a cold
some STUPID root beer. TWELVE PACK
and \’ve been NURSIN’ it for TWO DAYS. of IBC in back.
what’s the DIFF...?
\’ll spot ya a the HELL it all
FEW BUCKS on gas. it all tastes the
tastes the SAME.
SAME anyhow.
alright,
c’mon - alright....
TURN here!! CRETIN..¡¡
root beer is
root beer.
heh — to YOU maybe - \ happen geezus, dude. that crap from WALLY WORLD...?
to have a CULTURED pallet.
it’s not even REAL root beer.
IBC’s a FALL BACK brew. meh — \ like
the WALLY PISS WATER and CORN SYRUP.
it’s “okay” - but not
brand myself.
my PREFERRED brand.
you might as well drink
fifty cents a CAN — from a MUDDY HOOF like \ said — all
especially when PRINT if you’re gonna
the GAME’S on and what’s not to love? tastes the same to me.
SUCK up that swill.
\’m ALL amped up.
^ “say, you’re pretty SASSY for a DEAD GUY. aren’t ya BABY BROTHER?
-snicker- \’ll be sure to put some FLOWERS on yer GRAVE.”
—Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #110, A Shotgun and Two Dirty Barrels…
okay - we’re
headin’ back
now — see
ya in a few. naaah.
wonder what
she has
in mind.
^ “okay, everybody STAND on BLUE SCALE’S chest and LOOK PRETTY!! i’m burnin’ off an
IMAGE-SCRY and sending it back to my PROTEGEES in FAARWIPLE. …they’ll get a KICK out
of seein’ the OLD MAN in his moment of GLORY!!” —Pete Ashton, KODT Issue #105, Team Smirk
meanwhile...
b-but \ HAVE
been —every word... \’m talking
about THIS.
how could \ NOT..?
okay, b.a. —
it’s been RIVETING.
sorry about that. you were just
about to explain
why we needed to no - you don’t
now then — -klick-
TALK in private. understand. -klick-
where -klick-
were we?
but FIRST
\ wanted
to REVIEW.
mere SECONDS
before FLOYD’s finger
MASHED that button.
^ “on the count of THREE you start your CHARGE across the field. … you reach the MOUTH of the
CAVE and CONTINUE your CHARGE… unfortunately for you, PETE. your ‘BATTLE CRY’ is drowned out by
the RIOTOUS LAUGHTER coming from the REAR.” —Nitro Fergueson, KODT Issue #105, On the Count of Three
all before it
actually happened. you only saw a
SMALL window of
a few minutes.
your MENTAL FLASH was akin to observing had you PICKED that was your WINDOW —
events through a sort of BRAIN FOG. UP on my CUES —
roughly framing the
you would have START and STOPPING point
you couldn’t pick up on EVERY of your MENTAL FLASH.
NOTICED, \ CLICKED
detail - only the HIGHLIGHTS.
my pen BEFORE brian
think of it as pushed the button. does that make sense?
one of those
and again a few
“LAST WEEK” \’m not sure.
seconds later AFTER the
refresher clips NAV COMPUTER went down. \’m still
of the PREVIOUS digesting it.
episode of
GAME OF
THRONES.
only you didn’t
SEE that episode.
the pod
spinning out
of control.
^ “FIRST we’re gonna deal with RED GURDY PICKENS! now that i’m ARMED \’ve drank
from my LAST spittoon and KISSED the toe of my LAST firk ding frickin’ BOOT by gawd.”
—B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #104, Hard to Swallow
well now \
AM confused.
also — it’s
entirely up to
YOU to ACT on
them or not. we are —
you can HEAD aren’t you
back in and coming...?
have a seat.
shortly — \ need
to TALK with BOB
and DAVE when
they ROLL in.
a wee bit later... IN-CHARACTER — what ITEMS did \ PLACE in the SCURRY
when we RAIDED the MEDICAL STATION on DECK C...?
oh no...
c’mon, b.a. this is an
leave me alone — FAT HEAD!
don’t look EASY one. what ITEMS?
to PATTY for \’m not doing this any more. just name ONE!
the ANSWER.
tell us
about our
CHARACTERS.
^ “\ hope his MEDICAL INSURANCE is paid up. firk ding blast! \ was THIS close to 15th level!”
—Brian Van Hoose, Bundle of Trouble #11, First Taste of Magic
heh - as a
TEAM we were since the
UNSTOPPABLE. OTHERS
are waiting.
well - until
that APE
LICHE turned
you into a
COMMON TICK
and broke
up the set.
^ “frozen pizza poofs. -chew- -chew- -mum- -yum- -gulp- want some? eh -- they’re not so bad.
as long as you CHASE ‘em with a SWIG of beer. never figured b.a.’s mom for a MILLER LITE girl.”
—Brian Van Hoose, KODT Issue #166, Monkey See
he was KEENLY
interested in
preserving the
COLBY BLOODLINE.
even if it
was on the
DOWN LO.
^ “look -- \’m DOING it -- OK. \ don’t need ADVICE from the PENCIL
NECKS in the PEANUT GALLERY. b.a., \ shake my, um, er, DUNGBIE.”
—Sara Felton, Knights of the Dinner Table #150, Mutiny on the Hackbeth
so here’s your CURRENT situation. you ASSESSED the situation. gathered supplies
and made PREPARATIONS for leaving the ship.
you WOKE up a few after noticing a disabled SHUTTLE in one of the BAYS —
HOURS before the bennet determined he could REPAIR IT with the proper parts.
OTHER group did.
yeah...? did you did. and you were able to make those
we find ‘em? REPAIRS and PILOT the ship to safety.
although your
CHARACTERS aren’t
AWARE of that — frickin’ a.
^ “t-trouble? ohmigawd! what KIND of trouble? GAAA!!! wait… \ think \ KNOW! S-S-SHEILA
found out \ SHORTED her on EPS in that TOURNAMENT \ ran at hackcon last fall. is THAT it?”
—B.A. Felton, Bundle of Trouble #20, Some Trouble Going Down
BURN UP and
completely
destroyed.
yeah?
but there is
DEFINITELY
someone
out there.
you’re to STAY
in CHARACTER.
well \ KEEP
with DIFFICULTY — due to the
looking — anything?
DISORIENTING effect of the
tell ya what, patty. SWIRLING tapestry of stars and
the PLANET SURFACE in the view port.
give me another
OBSERVATION roll.
\’m rollin’ HUX and you can
RIVET — my lucky do it, patty.
LOW-ROLLERS.
a-
ok a-
ho
-s hook
-s
SIXTEEN!!! you SPOT the point of light again, patty. but only
for a MOMENT before it moves out of view again.
\ made it!!!
I-IT’S A SHIP...?!!
only this time it appeared
perhaps 50% larger.
patty — HOLD the
WORK-LIGHT on your
uniform UP to the WINDOW.
what’s more — you thought you
detected the TELL-TALE halo of the EXTERIOR beacons went
MANEUVER THRUSTERS on its sides. DOWN with the CONSOLE!
\ knew it!!
yeah. we have to
draw ATTENTION
to ourselves.
^ “ok, dave, since SCROUD is from the BASEMENT PLANE and is a TYPE II DEMON as soon as you step
near him to swing you automatically touch the DEMON FLAMES protecting him and you take 250
points of damage!! and since he’s a soul-hunter your soul immediately is trapped in his belt buckle!”
—B.A. Felton, Bundle of Trouble #1, Death by Repetition.
^ “huh?? what is it boy? crossbow? you wanna USE the crossbow? the CROSSBOW OF SLAYING?”
—Dave Bozwell, Bundle of Trouble #20, Squire Lee
GUYS —
PLEASE...
^ “okay, guys, \’ll BITE! before we call it a NIGHT, how ‘bout tellin’ me what this
‘PHASE THREE’ crap is all about. you DO understand that your characters are DEAD --
RIGHT?…COMPRENDE? you’re dead. D-E-A-D!!” —B.A. Felton, Bundle of Trouble #20, Phase Three
a little later...
that’s not true. is it??
seriously...? you’re running TWIN BROTHERS...? actually...
\’ve never heard
cool, huh...? like two PEAS in a some of the THAT before.
wow. that’s pod. we do EVERYTHING together. FIERCEST
really sibling
\’ve had TWINS in
interesting. hell yeah. and you rivalries in
my class. they’ve
just KNOW \ got right back history
always got along GREAT.
YOUR back, dude. at ya, bro. have been
between TWINS.
oh um... just something heh - well not the COLBY BROTHERS, dude.
\ READ somewhere.
we get along SWIMMINGLY well!
regardless —
yeah. TUT-TUT and all that.
ah... \ see.
nobody FIGHTS
and BRAWLS we happen to be REFINED
and cultured. TRUE GENTLEMEN. come from
quit like
MONEY do ya...?
brothers do.
BIG WHOOP — FAT GOOD whatever, BIG GUY. you got that right.
that does ya. we’re 400 years on
THIS SIDE of the DEATH of EARTH. but bob and \ are JACKED!! and WHO’s piloting it...?!!
you might as
well CLIMB DOWN.
^ “um… probably wasn’t such a BRIGHT idea teachin’ him ALL your moves, bob.”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #167, The Orc is Not My Son Part V: Orc Autumn
\ don’t KNOW
anything about that
but yeah - let’s vote.
so, dave — have
you OPENED this
ship up yet? see
what she can do?
2B CONTINUED
^ “BACK OFF JACK! does this thing look like a frickin’ BUBBA-HAULIN’ PICK UP?
go steal your OWN high performance, european LUXURY sports car. -- ya BIG GOOF!”
—Bob Herzog, Bundle of Trouble #10, Final Daze
First Place: Fleet in a Box — 10 hand painted, fully rigged resin cast boats for your
table top games!
Second Place: Hand painted resin cast sailing ship.
Third Place: Pair of hand painted resin cast smuggler’s boats.
Contest Rules:
1) Entries must be received by August 15, 2018.
2) Entries will be subjectively judged on the perceived playability value of the
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all favorably viewed and generally trump sheer word count.
3) Substance trumps style. Don’t let hand-drawn maps stop you from entering. We’re
looking for fun and exciting adventures in any form.
4) Winner will be contacted to submit an Assignment of Rights form to be eligible to
receive prizes.
5) Prizes are FOB Waukegan, Illinois. Winners are responsible for postage fees.
will remember and whose defeat will taste
all the sweeter, are the competent ones.
They’re the ones who were a genuine
threat, not just the ones with 2000hp and
high level spell slots. Great villains are the
ones who were able to guess their every
move. The ones whose wits matched their
own and pushed them to the limit.
A villain can only truly do this with the
right kind of information and intelligence.
Having intelligent villains who spy on
players is a good thing. It makes for
intelligent and canny players. They will
become cautious and shrewd. Or else,
they’ll die hideous deaths. A GM should
never be afraid to instil a healthy paranoia
amongst his players.
There are a few ways that your villains
can get this information. Remember, to be
fair, a villain should only act on things they
are able to know. Otherwise, your players
will justifiably call you out for metagaming.
So, always have a justification ready
about why the BEBG knows the PCs’ weak-
Peekaboo, nesses.
I SEE You! Everyone has their price…
by
Do the PCs pay their henchmen well? If
Jack Shannon
not, a few gold pieces and a round of
drinks in exchange for some trivial infor-
I
n roleplaying games, too often the PCs mation might loosen their tongue.
have the element of surprise. If the Tell me more!
players are smart, they fight when it
Players love to boast. A crowd of simper-
suits them and on their terms. All good
ing commoners in the inn could easily hide
players research the dungeon, find out
a few spies just waiting for a drunken PC to
local rumors, figure out what they are up
brag about things that might be interest-
against and equip themselves to face the
ing for a villain to know.
foe accordingly.
Innocent flower, or hidden serpent?
Well preparation is a two-way street!
Intelligent villains don’t sit around to be Those closest to the PCs can make great
surprised. They have contingency plans, spies. The armorer who always gives them
escape routes and sneaky tricks. Likewise, a discount...? Perhaps he has a reason for
they should also be pro-active. They set being so friendly besides the PCs’ high
ambushes, sabotage equipment, harass charisma.
and harm PCs. The friendly innkeeper? Maybe he likes to
The best villains, the ones your players give the PCs free drinks so he can loosen
Knights of the Dinner Table® #256 33
himself to be easily defeated. So, make sure
to give your bad guys plenty of ammuni-
tion and tricks to ensure their survival, and
maybe even more.
A villain’s motive might not be just plain
survival anyway. Villains have lives, and
plans, and schemes that don’t involve
dying. Perhaps your villain wants to rule the
world and the PCs are in the way.
Maybe that bad guy had a family
member, pet or confidant killed or hurt by
the PCs and he wants revenge.
Give your villains motivation, especially
the villains who are at the heart of your
campaign. Not every foe will be an intelli-
gent, motivated opponent for your PCs,
true. But, the BEBG who is important
enough to build a story around, is also
important enough to be intelligent, hard-
their lips and report back.
to-defeat, and a worthy match to your PCs.
Any of these folks could be hired to re-
After all, players rarely celebrate
port to the PC’s enemies for the right price.
defeating a bunch of orcs or kobolds, but if
Even an incorruptible LG cleric who occa- they are victorious against a wily, tough
sionally raises the PCs for a moderate fee bad guy who is difficult to beat, they
might be persuaded to blab if his family should truly feel victorious.
was threatened.
Sometimes, even the most unlikely crea-
tures can be spies. Is that a normal squirrel?
It’s a cheap trick, but
animal spies are a
classic way of finding
out information.
Good villains learn,
so make sure that your
bad guys learn from
encounters with
players.
Does the wizard
always hide safely at
the back? Rear
ambush! Does the
fighter have a favorite
weapon? Shatter it.
No villain in his right
mind would allow
Skills
He has no idea that a Dejy priestess was a witness to his attack
Possessions: long sword, medium shield, ring riding 33%
mail armor, light crossbow, horse.
on the horseman through her divine magic, and that she has put
appraisal (armor) 66%
language (Kal) 83% a curse on him. That curse is one that will cause him to go blind
Proficiencies: long sword specialization,
literacy 28%
rope use 75%
club, light crossbow, shield, laborer, road-
within the next year.
marching, phalanx fighting. observation 21%
intimidation 53% By Barb Blackburn
Talents: damage bonus (sword), damage listening 50%
glean info 88%
bonus (club) cooking 72%
law 48%
Quirks and Flaws: racist, cruel recruiting 61% Note: The colonel doesn’t know that he, himself, has Dejy blood, since his
grandfather forced himself on a Dejy maid and she gave birth to his father.
A
on. We were finally giving out some pay-
housing patients who needed to heal in a story of a wonderful argument ru-
back.
bed. It was a hospital of sorts. When ined by cellphones and the Internet:
As we knocked back, knocked down Brian’s bank robber came to his senses, he Playing an Adventurer's League mod-
and killed a few of their numbers, other looked around at where he was and no- ule, we look up in the sky to see a giant
cowardly kobolds ran away, but we ran roc with a 200+ foot wingspan swooping
ticed that every bed in the place was
after, in hot pursuit. down to attack our boat, looking as if it
filled. And, that’s when the GM told him
My friend’s 10-year-old son took the that all of those other patients? They were could carry the entire thing aloft. Small
lead with his fighter, who tried to run Brian’s characters too. He had his own pri- arms fire as it approaches does little, so
down a mostly submerged pathway to vate hospital ward.—BabWryter when it gets in range I Polymorph it into
catch the villains. But, when they swerved the first thing I can think of that I believe
right, the fighter kept going and ran off C’MON TIGER! would sink in the deep ocean water and
of the path into the water, which is in-
O ne battle the elvish Houri mage drown - an elephant. It fails and splashes
fested with piranha. down.
Calondae was savaged by a weretiger
Just like that, my fighter, and then our and became infected, turning into a In the olden days this would precipi-
cleric (his mom) tried to save him and weretiger herself. She decided it was use- tate a classic half-hour argument. Can ele-
ended up in the water with him. ful in case her spells failed her so she de- phants swim? Can they swim in salty
As the piranha began nibbling at his clined healing. The party concurred, ocean water, where they presumably get
armor, another cleric (a dwarf) sauntered especially the cleric Sable. Afterwards a buoyancy bonus? Or are they too dense
46 Knights of the Dinner Table® #256
to swim and sink down and down, until promptly looted. Perhaps we should have onto the rock foundation below.
they drown which breaks the Polymorph left the black skull behind. Entering through the roof there was a
spell and returns them to health far be- Most of our following adventures in- scene of devastation. there were dead
neath the ocean waves? volved running from the Hag of Endive, hobgoblins everywhere, their faces
Sadly, a quick websearch later we dis- who apparently was displeased that we twisted visages of pain and fear. Rem-
covered that elephants CAN swim, and had taken her phylactery. nants of spiderwebs covered the second
quite well indeed. One angry elephant If there had been any survivors to tell floor, surrounded by charred walls and
nearly capsizing our boat by trying to the tale, they most likely would have told ash. Above us, the sky darkened slightly,
climb aboard it later, we had to kill it to future travelers to stick to the Safe almost as if the gods were annoyed by
break the spell, then kill the Roc at close path.—Corey Cole what had occurred. We camped there that
range. night, and set off the next day to reach the
At least it didn't get a flyby attack. THE JOURNAL OF HS PT. 3 river between Has and Sabden, to con-
T
—Ron Levy tinue our journey. —Jacob Wright
wo previous journal entries were
shared in KODT #255. Here are some
SCOLDING A SKELETON YOU DON’T DO THAT
more entries.
T
his amazing necklace is made up to shout Safe to enact this protection.
of a string of jade beads created to Once he uses the Safe command, he is im-
assist its wearers with cursing ene- mune from curses for a day.
mies.
Because of the powerful effects of the
Each bead equals one curse. The neck- necklace, it has been something very de-
lace can be used only once per day. To use sired, sought after, and even killed for.
the necklace, someone must wear it, and
The last known whereabouts of the
touch the bead he wants to use.
necklace was around the neck of a Dejy
It is made up of fifteen beads. Once all of priestess whose devoted followers found
the beads have been used, the necklace it for her and presented it to her. They say,
becomes a normal piece of jewelry. she had to use it against a spiteful fairy
When a wearer touches a bead, he can who had hoped to get the necklace for
say what curse he wants to use. He says himself.
Miss to give the target -1 to attack for the There is also rumored to be an exact op-
day. He says Open to give the target -1 de- posite to this necklace called the Beads of
fense for the day. The curse Slow gives the Blessing, that lets wearers bless anyone he
target +1 to their weapon speed and ini- chooses in much the same way as curses
tiative for the day. Slay takes away a point are given from the Beads of Cursing, letting
of DR, and Fall gives the cursed person a the wearer specify what type of boon to
+1 to any Threshold of Pain checks for the bestow on others, or on himself. This string
day. of beads is owned by a high cleric of the
The wearer can also use the necklace to Caregiver.
protect himself from curses, but if he does, Barbara Blackburn
all of the beads are expended. He just has
S
tar Warriors holds the notable
distinction of being one of the earlier worthy of your time.
games released to be set in the Star
If the idea of piloting an X-Wing or a
Wars Universe and it's a pretty good fit for a
plethora of other craft against the might of
game it must be said. I grew up with Star
the Empire rocks your boat (as it surely does
Wars (the original trilogy) so it's fair to say
mine) then Star Warriors is for you. The
that it's pretty much a given that I'm going
game states that 'every small starship de-
to like this game (and I think you will too, I
picted in the Star Wars movies is included in
mean, who doesn't like Star Wars? C'mon,
the game' .
it's legendary.)
Star Warriors comes boxed with all you
Sure, there were other Star Wars games need to play: a beautiful full-color map, a
available on the market before this (Escape stand-up reference card, one pad of control
from the Death Star and Destroy Death sheets, a counter storage tray, one 6-sided
Star [sic]come to mind) and if you were flush die and, of course, all the counters you might
with money there was always the old classic ever possibly need and then some.
vector graphics Star Wars arcade game that
The quality of the map and counters could
you could throw your quarters at (Maaan, I
be a little better to be honest but they are
spent a ton of money down at the local ar-
functional and clear enough (typical for late
cade – LA Leisure in Lothian Road - on that
eighties hex and counter games) so it's not a
game. I threw so much cash at it that I'm sur-
deal-breaker (due to the ravages of time my
prised I didn't starve to death!) but this really
map is now split right down the middle un-
was the first tabletop Star Wars game (other
fortunately).
than the RPG of course) that I would consider
52 Knights of the Dinner Table® #256
So yes, even all these years later Star War-
riors still has value. If you are put off by the
complexity don't be as you can still play (and
play faster) with just the standard rules. Feel
free to do away with all the Advanced Game
and Optional rules and just run with the ba-
sics (they are all optional of course so this is
absolutely fine). This might not appeal to all
the purists out there however and I do rec-
ognize that some people actually enjoy de-
tail and crunch (not me though, I have
enough trouble with Advanced Squad
Leader but that's another story, let me tell
you about it sometime...)
Regardless, Star Warriors is a good simu-
lation of Star Wars space combat. All the
ships really do have a distinctive feel and are
truly unique. The difference between an X-
Wing and a TIE-fighter is clear for all to see
and you can really feel it in the gameplay
Clearly in this day and age times have which is, after all, what really matters.
moved on and we now have the glorious
Perhaps the best use of Star Warriors
Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars X-Wing
though is to take the game and throw out
Miniatures Game to play with (and it pretty
the counters (yes that's right: throw out the
much dominates the field) but I would like to
counters, keep the Star Warriors rules) and
stress that Star Warriors should still have a
play with the, rather wonderful, X-Wing
place on your gaming shelf. Compared with
miniatures models.
X-Wing, Star Warriors is complicated (and is
thus, by its very nature, going to be a slower- That way you get the best of both worlds;
paced game) and admittedly there is a fair bit a really solid tried and tested game system
of math to do to keep track of everything so and some stunning toys. That's what I would
if you are playing with a number of ships on recommend anyway folks and I think it's
the map then it will probably take you a
while and slow things down somewhat (but
ho hum, I guess things will go faster if you
are good at math...) It's worth the extra ef-
fort involved to play and while Star War-
riors does have a sharp learning curve, once
you get to grips with it it's very logical. It's
also worth mentioning that the game is not
very reliant on luck: skill really does play a
big part in the outcome, so you're not just
rolling endless dice and hoping for the best
- YOUR decisions and piloting skills (not for-
getting your Force skills) really do make all
the difference. It's a player's game to be
sure.
Knights of the Dinner Table® #256 53
what most people are doing with the game RPG.
these days. Failing that Star Warriors makes With Fantasy Flight Games' recent deluxe
a good cheap substitute for X-Wing - all those release of a special 30th Anniversary Edition
TIE-fighters do start to add up after a while. of the classic West End Games' Star Wars RPG
The great thing about this game and per- (as two high quality hardback books) it
haps its stand out appeal is that it is com- makes me wonder if maybe, just maybe, we
pletely compatible with West End Games' might also be lucky enough to see a re-re-
Star Wars RPG (in fact many of the Star Wars lease of Star Warriors?
RPG releases had scenarios for Star Warriors Who knows, stranger things have hap-
in them, or, better yet, even new ship stats. pened. I wouldn't hold my breath but it
Of course to play First Order versus Resist- would be nice. Regardless, in the meantime
ance you will need to make up your own stats we have the original of this classic game to
as this game came out years before the cur- keep us ticking over and it really is worthy of
rent movies). a second look.
In Star Warriors you plan out your move If you are looking for something 'old skool'
for the turn adding up the difficulty numbers and don't want to bear the expense of buy-
for all of your planned moves (while hoping ing into X-Wing then this could well be the
your skill rolls will not exceed that number). game for you. It's not common but you can
This is exactly the same resolution system still find copies fairly regularly on Ebay.
used by the RPG. So if your characters ever As mentioned previously however I do feel
get into a tussle with a TIE-fighter you can that the best use for this game - for a truly im-
simply pull this game out of the closet and pressive setup - is to play with the X-Wing
have at it. In fact, if necessary, the rules for miniatures, using the Star Warriors rules of
Star Warriors take precedence over those of course. So have at it and of course, as is oblig-
the Star Wars RPG. I would say that makes atory, may the Force be with you! q
this game an essential buy if you play the
54 Knights of the Dinner Table® #256
Wicked Pacts: A Modern-Day Game of Magic
CREATED BY: John M. Barfield
PUBLISHED BY: The Polyhedral Knights
REVIEW BY: Egg Embry
agic is in the blood, and Wicked Pacts is the After your character’s Bloodline and Background, they
W
gaming.
night or the pint of ale the characters down when meeting
up at the Green Dragon Inn, food is a critical component of
Tolkien fans can draw inspiration from Nate Crowley, a UK-based writer
who honored the one-year anniversary of his father’s passing by eat-
ing all of the food that appeared in the Lord of the Rings movies as
the movies played. Mashable has a post that captures Cowley’s tweets
In the early, pre-kid days of my gaming group, we tended toward
about the food marathon. q
the extremes of fast food: pizza, chips, and every kind of soda we could
lay our hands on. Today we’re older, wiser, and (ahem) rounder, and a REDDIT: HEALTHIER SNACKS FOR TABLETOP GAME NIGHT
little more interested in healthier snack options. Life Hacker’s “Six https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/2x1gwc
Healthy Snacks You Can Eat While Gaming” is oriented toward /healthier_snacks_for_tabletop_game_night/
video games, but its grease-free suggestions are equally valid for
tabletop, card, and board gamers. Suggestions include replacing po- LIFEHACKER: SNACKS YOU CAN EAT WHILE GAMING
tato chips with toasted pita bread, cookies with mixed nuts with dried https://vitals.lifehacker.com/six-healthy-snacks-you-can-eat-while-
fruit, and pizza rolls with sushi. gaming-1720068978
The “Healthier snacks for tabletop game night” thread on Red- FAMILY GAME NIGHT IDEAS: 5
dit offers lots of community contributed snack ideas specifically de- HEALTHY AND EASY SNACK IDEAS FOR A GAME NIGHT
signed for tabletop gamers. Examples include carrot sticks, green https://familygamenightideas.com/
beans, and air-popped popcorn as well as more advanced options (as 5-healthy-and-easy-snack-ideas-for-a-game-night
in, they require cooking) such as Vietnamese shrimp rolls, baked turkey GEEKY HOSTESS: EASY D&D-STYLE TAVERN MENU
meatballs, roasted chick peas, and kale chips. While my gaming group http://www.geekyhostess.com/an-easy-dnd-style-tavern-menu/
likes to flirt with healthier snacks, the one time we’re all-in is when
KOTAKU: STAY WITH ME HERE: DUNGEONS & DRAGONS,
we’re gaming with the kids. “5 Healthy And Easy Snack Ideas For
EXCEPT YOU COOK WHAT YOU KILL
A Game Night” offers kid-friendly recipes for baked potato chips, https://kotaku.com/stay-with-me-here-
healthy guacamole, whole-grain baked tortilla chips, homemade dungeons-dragons-except-you-cook-1807627184
hummus, and fruit skewers with yogurt dip.
Of course it is game night and sometimes fun takes precedence over POWER SCORE: THE GREAT LIST OF FOOD & DRINKS
healthy. The Geeky Hostess’ “Easy D&D-Style Tavern Menu” offers a http://thecampaign20xx.blogspot.com/2015/07/dungeons-dragons
great menu inspired by classic fantasy eats like “Forged Salad” (made TRIBALITY: THAT’S GOOD EATIN’ – A D&D MEAL GUIDE
from whatever our Ranger found), “The Fancy Man’s Feats (meats, http://tribality.com/2015/11/03/thats-good-eatin-a-dd-meal-guide/
cheeses, and nuts, and you must commit to marrying our eldest
daughter) and scones (served warm with butter or jam). The inspira- MIDDLE-EARTH RECIPES
tion was a double header campaign session, but I can easily see doing http://lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/other/recipes.html
something similar for my gaming group’s Nuke(m)Con (in which we in- MASHABLE: MAN EATS ALL THE FOOD IN 'LORD OF THE RINGS'
vite regulars as well as friends of the campaign to a weekend-long IN TRIBUTE TO HIS LATE FATHER
gaming stint). Venturing into Knights of the Dinner Table territory https://mashable.com/2018/02/18/lord-of-the-rings
is Kotaku’s “Stay With Me Here: Dungeons & Dragons, Except You
Cook What You Kill”. The article proposes a dungeon crawl in which
Knights of the Dinner Table® #256 57
One Must Kill Another
by Marcus Alexander Hart
Now, if you weren’t invested in any of these characters, the story
might play out as a cat-and-mouse story of hunting and attempted
murder. But this was once a family, and despite being torn apart there
was love there before.
But there is also hate. Rebecca has many reasons for hating both her
mother and her father. Her anger and feelings of betrayal run deep, but
she also has her own reasons for wanting to forgive.
And there is desperation. Matty is so lonely he would do anything to
get Kimberly back. He also wants to connect with his daughter, but what
if she’s no longer the little girl he remembered?
And there is pragmatism. Kimberly was the one who hoped to bring
her family back together, but she has always been a survivor who has
(Full disclosure: Noah acted as editor on this book) had to make tough choices.
ood horror doesn’t rely on the monster. How many horror movies The entity they face develops as the story progresses. Its motivations
have you seen get panned because all the characters were basi- at first seem arbitrary, even random. But we eventually see the under-
cally unlikeable and existed only to act as fodder for the mon- lying consistency as they learn more about it.
ster’s kill count? That’s not horror so much as it is spectacle. It’s a valid
enough form of entertainment, but to me, horror at its best makes its Marcus Alexander Hart uses an interesting writing technique to tell
characters relatable. You need to want to see them live on some level or this story. The present switches between Matty and Rebecca’s POVs in
the horror they face is essentially pointless. alternating chapters, while their past is told through Kimberly’s per-
spective. These changing perspectives and flashbacks are key to making
One Must Kill Another starts with a very human and everyday prob- the three characters relatable.
lem and throws it up against an existential horror, creating an impos-
sible choice. It is about a broken Hollywood family that should have it You learn why Kimberly resents Matty, why Matty misses Kimberly,
made. The mother, Kimberly Savage, is a famous action star. The father, why Rebecca hates her mom and feels abandoned by her dad. Why
Matty, is a screenplay writer. And Rebecca is their energetic daughter Matty no longer sees his little girl in Rebecca, and so on.
with an active imagination. Each of the characters are relatable, but they aren’t always likeable.
As the book opens, we see this family on its last thread at their cabin And that’s fine. You don’t have to like everything about a character to
getaway, desperately hoping to reconnect. But Rebecca is getting too root for them.
old for children’s games, Kimberly comes to terms with the fact that Each of the characters is deeply flawed in their own way, but never
there really nothing left between her and Matty, despite his best efforts. in a way that you’re ever rooting against them. You understand the pain
Matty continues living in denial. they feel and how they got to the way they are. More importantly, you
Then we catch up with them thirteen years later. The mother has hope they can get past their internal demons just as much as the ones
continued box office success but has never achieved the critical success surrounding the house.
she craves with her work. The father hasn’t sold anything in years and I should also point out that Hart isn’t afraid to be hella funny when
has let himself go physically. And the daughter is still trying to recover the situation calls for it. Despite the scenario and the horrible choices
from both a literally and figuratively scarring childhood. being faced, he knows that horror without levity can be draining. And
They are then given a chance at reconciliation, back at the same cabin the humor isn’t random, either. It often comes from the very same char-
getaway where their family fell apart. And that’s when the supernatu- acter flaws that are driving the drama, making it feel natural and real.
ral element is introduced. That to me is the key to a compelling horror or suspense story. Hart’s
I don’t want to give away too many details at this point, but basi- style reminds me of some of the better Stephen King stories out there,
cally they encounter a maniacal force that threatens to kill all of them when the scenario he sets up is compelling, yet also simple. He puts his
unless its ultimatum is met: two can leave the woods alive, but only characters into a trap and sees if they can puzzle their way out of it. But
after they kill the third. at the end of the day it’s the characters themselves that keep you turn-
ing the pages.
58 Knights of the Dinner Table® #256
JAUNTY JALOPIES
One Small Step • www.ossgames.com
Fsomeforast-paced, fun and easy to learn, Jaunty Jalopies has been around
awhile. I couldn’t find it on the company’s website, but I did find
on Amazon, and I’m sure there are other places you can buy it, if
you choose. I bought mine from Chimera Hobby Shop’s booth at Nexus
Game Fair.
In it, 2-4 players take the roles of car racers in the 1920s. They have
to use their personalities, equipment and driving skills to avoid or over-
come mishaps and subplots. Players can be heroes, building up karma
by rescuing other racers, or they can be villains, hatching fiendish plots
so they can thwart the plans of the other racers.
Each character has a unique power. Angus MacTavish, the Scottish inventor can play a Personal-
ity or Equipment card to negate a Mishap. Fifi Le Boom, the french silent movie star can use a Per-
SEND REVIEW COPIES TO: sonality card to negate a card or effect played against her.
KODT: BRIAN’S PICKS Mishaps include someone blowing up the bridge, low on gas, and engine problems. Equipment
309 S. Dilger Ave.
Waukegan, IL 60085 includes baling wire, toolkit or a fat wallet.
BRIAN’S RATING: Time to hit the road and check this game out.
F
history? Then the pdf game Mid- rom the makers of Smart A**
denarde might be for you. comes a brand new party game,
The game strives to emulate low-fan- where players must forget about
tasy English history with a balance be- finding the correct answer, because
tween realism and fun. The rulebook includes an overview of what the best answer is the wrong one.
British life was like in 1450, as the English Crown was on the brink This is a game where everyone plays at the same time. It’s fast-
of the War of the Roses. Add supernatural powers lurking in the paced trivia game where players travel around a board to become the
wilderness, conflict between lords, small-town cults and hidden first one to read the end. The way players get to move is by choosing
magick, and you have a game. Characters start with an Heirloom the correct answer from cards that are divided into four categories:
item, passed down from their ancestors, some money, skills, a pool Who, What, Where and Smart A**.
of luck, and vitality points. Different parts of the body are have dif-
Players take turns being the reader by announcing the four items
ferent severing thresholds: head, torso and waist, two arms, two
from the card he picks. All of the answers appear to be connected. Play-
hands, two legs and two feet. In combat, besides losing VP, these
ers have to choose which item they feel doesn’t belong with the oth-
parts of the body are randomly chosen. Armor will not protect cer-
ers. The players with the correct “wrong” answer roll the dice and move
tain parts of the body. There are rules for hunger and thirst, hy-
ahead on the board.
perthermia and diseases such as smallpox and syphilis. Life is not
easy for anyone in the 1450s. Combat uses a dice pool system. The If nobody gets the right (wrong) answer during a turn, then the
monetary system is based in history. Weapons include swords and reader advances. Included in the bright red game box is a playing
bows, but also matchlock pistols and rifles. Twenty nine skills are of- board, six playing pieces, one die, 24 letter tokens, 400 question cards
fered, from attunement (to the supernatural) to evasion. Magic is and the instructions. The game is designed for 2-4 players of 14 years
also covered. old and up.
BRIAN’S RATING: This is an extremely interesting RPG. BRIAN’S RATING: A party game for dumb asses everywhere.
hey -- 36,000
PEEPS -- it
Can’t HURT.
am \ RIGHT?
ah. right.
READ
KODT
ONLINE!
60 Knights of the Dinner Table® #256
what’s a matter, BUNKY...?!! facing HARD TIME because you
MISSED the LATEST ISSUE of KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE..?
BAIL!!
bit.ly/CasualtyCounters
The BABY
SITTING
MAGICIAN
Serving the
Muncie Area
-Summon-
me today!!
mark your
Calendars --
no worries, hoss. KENZERCO
will be appearing
you can SUBSCRIBE to KODT at the following
and load up on BACK ISSUES conventions in
and other KENZERCO products at
www.kenzerco.com. 2018
ORIGINS • COLUMBUS OH • JUNE 13-17
GENCON • INDIANAPOLIS IN • AUGUST 2-5
HROOO!!