Journal of Pharmacognosy and Phytochemistry 2018; 7(1): 207-212

E-ISSN: 2278-4136
P-ISSN: 2349-8234
JPP 2018; 7(1): 207-212
Problems faced by divorced women in their pre
Received: 22-11-2017 and post-divorce period: A sociological study with
Accepted: 24-12-2017
reference to District Meerut
Pooja Rathi
Department of Sociology &
Social Work, Hemwati Nandan Pooja Rathi and JP Pachauri
Bahuguna Garhwal University
Srinagar, Garhwal, Uttarakhand,
India. Abstract
Divorce as a social issue which involves the legal dissolution of marriage and the couple is separated. A
JP Pachauri divorce happen after a husband and wife decided not to live together anymore due to their family
Department of Sociology & problem. They agree to sign legal paper that makes them each single and again allow them to marry other
Social Work, Hemwati Nandan people if they want to do so. In addition, the study investigated pre and post-divorce challenges and
Bahuguna Garhwal University problems faced by divorced women. Both primary and secondary sources have been used for data
Srinagar, Garhwal, Uttarakhand, collection for this study. The primary data have been collected through purposively selected interviewees
India. specifically used structured interview schedule. Universe of the present study is divorced women of
Meerut city. It was not possible to contact every divorced woman for interview. Therefore it has been
decided to collect the cases from family court of Meerut district. After doing lot of exercise only 60 case
diaries of divorced women were collected from family court. Efforts were made to contact all the 60
divorced women, but due to non-availability on the given addresses only 38 women were contacted. Data
were tabulated and results are given through case studies. On the basis of this study we can concluded
that divorcee women faced various difficulties and challenges related to social, familial, financial,
emotional and psychological problems. Divorce women heavy family support was facing fewer problems
in comparison to those women having no family support.

Keywords: Women, Divorce challenges: social, familial, financial, emotional, psychological

1. Introduction
Divorce is the “legal dissolution of a socially and legally recognized marital relationship that
alters the obligations and privileges of the two persons involved. It is also a major life
transition that has far-reaching social, pathological, legal, personal, economic, and personal
consequences” (Price & Mc kenry, 1983). In general terms it is considered as the ending of a
marriage. A breakup in relationship is certainly the most terrible situation for a person that
results into an emotional setback. The mental health indicators which are affected by divorce
relate to depression, anger, low self-esteem, and anxiety. The person concerned may blame
himself/herself for such a mishap. “Divorce leads to poor psychological and physical health in
women” in Lowa on a sample of 416 rural mothers. The results revealed that divorced women
have a higher susceptibility to chronic illness, especially over a period of time compared with
married women. A stressful life event has also shown to have affected the psychological health
of these women after the divorce.
Divorce has become a serious problem; challenging the establishment of the family in a
routine manner and causing severe impacts on the emotional and mental health of the
individual especially, women. Since women are considered as the binding force in the family,
they are believed to be responsible for whatever wrong is done. It has been argued that women
invest more in the family, take a larger responsibility for marriage, and therefore perceive
divorce as a greater failure than men do (Kurdek, 1990 Hung, Kung & Chan, 2004, Cited in
Sharma, 2011) [3]. I have defined divorce as judicial separation of the spouses and completely
disruption of their marital relations. This research has been focused to identify vital causes of
divorce under the specific circumstances; socio-economic differentiations, occupational status,
family background, role conflict, physical defectives, educational differentiation and legal
ground.
Correspondence
Pooja Rathi Methodology
Department of Sociology &
Social Work, Hemwati Nandan
Area of the study: This study is confined to Meerut District. Meerut is a city in the Indian
Bahuguna Garhwal University state of Uttar Pradesh. The city lies 70 km. northeast of the national capital New Delhi, and
Srinagar, Garhwal, Uttarakhand, 453 Km. northwest of the state capital, Lucknow. Meerut district was divided into three tehsils
India. namely Meerut, Mawana and Sardhana.
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The city was administered by Meerut municipal, corporation, also treated my daughter as a curse But I had no option
which was responsible for performing civic administrative except to tolerate these derogatory comments”.
functions. The city was also an education hub in western Uttar Another informant case no. P revealed different experiences.
Pradesh. Meerut city has a cosmopolitan nature also it As she stated, “My in-laws behavior was rude and unfair
represents rural and urban continuum up to a fair extent. Its towards me due to the reason of dowry. They tortured me
culture was a mixture of tradition and modernity. I opted physically. Once they didn’t give me food for seven days and
Meerut city because as per my knowledge there had not been on the seventh day they poured kerosene oil on my entire body
any research work done on the topic of divorce in this area, and lit the matchstick. Due to this my whole body burnt. I
while the cases of divorce are increasing day by day. couldn’t even think of remarriage as who will accept me in
this situation”.
Universe and Sample
Universe of the present study is divorced women of Meerut Harassment by father-in-law
city. It was not possible to contact every divorced woman in Two informants shared that their father-in-law wanted with
Meerut city for interview. Therefore it has been decided to them physical intimacy. It was the main cause of their marital
collect the cases from family court of Meerut district. After termination. One informant case no. O stated, “My father-in-
doing lot of exercise only 60 case diaries of divorced women law and brother-in-law continue harassed me for sex with
were collected from family court. Efforts were made to him. My father-in-law used to say that I got you married to
contact all the 60 divorced women, but due to non availability my son because I want to have sexual relationship with you.
on the given addresses only 38 women were contacted. All Thus I brought you in this house for me not for my son. I was
the 38 women were interview through structured interview exhausted mentally and physically by tolerating him”.
schedule.
Problems faced with sister-in-law
Data Collection Another case no. A revealed “My separated sister-in-law
On the basis of the objective of the study, a interview also stays with my marital family. She always tried to brain
schedule was framed for data collection. It was pre-tested and wash my husband against me. This aggravated the violent
necessary modifications were made in the interview schedule. behavior of my husband towards me. Also presence of her
Besides personal interview case studies were also carried out kids increased the quarrels”.
to collect in depth information from the respondents. The Respondents also stated that if their husband would have
respondents were contacted by home visits to elicit the loved them then they would have easily tolerated the
required information. Flexibility of questions was maintained, exploitation, but the disrespect and the problems such as:
if the respondents were not able to respond accurately, then husband non-supportive nature, exploitative behavior, in-
the same question was asked in a different way. Since different attitude became more problematic for them. In
responses were recorded on the basis of interview-schedule as addition to this there were serious problems which were
well as observation. Data were tabulated and results are given intolerable for the informants. They were: husband
through case studies. involvement in extra-marital affairs; comment for male child,
physically emotionally, verbally and mentally tortured;
Analysis and interpretation of data alcoholism and drug addiction, cheating, abnormal behavior;
After getting the data, efforts were made to analyze the data. emotional attachment and the pressure of dowry.
Data analysis of 38 cases have been analyzed and interrelated
as expressed by the respondents. This description has been Post- Divorce Problems
defined through case study method. After divorce informants faced different type of problems
such as: social rejection, blame by relatives and siblings,
Limitations of the study family support, challenges related to getting a separate house,
A lot of difficulties were faced while undertaking this study economic hardships, harassment and exploitation, problems
due to the sensitive nature and the confidentiality of the issue. related to emotional attachment, psychological problems such
To begin with, indentifying the respondents (Divorced as: depression, health problem, tried to kill herself, trauma,
women) it was a difficult task. The efforts have been made to feeling loneliness and lack in confidence.
know the status of divorced women and what are the
problems and challenges they faced in pre and post divorce Social Rejection
life. This study is limited to Meerut city only. Therefore Few stories of women revealed that divorce resulted social
conclusions cannot generalize. rejection. Some of the respondents also shared that they were
treated as belonging to a different group because of their
Problems faced by divorced women during their divorced divorce. And they did not share same kind of relationship
cases and after the divorce: There were several problems with her friends as earlier. They stated that the status of
which were faced by the respondents in their pre and post divorced women deteriorated as compared to married one.
divorce life. Divorcee women faced various difficulties and They feel ashamed that they are no longer married and too
challenges related to social, familial, financial, emotional and frightened to make contact with old friends. They also shared
psychological problems. that before marriage and after marriage friends have same
relationship but when they know about divorce they try to
Problems of Pre-Marital life keep distance due to their social prestige. As case no. I stated
Problems faced by Mother-in-law: It was found that some “After I become a divorced woman, my relation with my
informants were not having good relations with their mother- friends deteriorated. Many of my friends did not want to spare
in-law. Case no. A revealed, that “My mother-in-law always time with me. I was working as a teacher in an institution. But
gave comments to me about giving birth to female child after I become a divorced woman. I was forced to change my
because she gives preference to male child. My sister-in-law
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jobs frequently because co-workers and friends behaved with encouraged me and helped me to overcome the difficulties of
me rudely, due to the reason of my divorced status”. the post-divorce life”.
From the above narration, one can understand that the life & Listening to women experiences, that how family supports
social status of divorced women are negatively affected their them to a great extent. If the parents do not give support then
life in the family and society. it was very difficult for them to come out from the difficulties
Nine of the informants shared that they did not have the same or trauma. After divorce for a daughter her parents support is
relation with their siblings as it was before divorce. Few of very important. If her parents do not support her then this
them indentified the reasons for the bad relation with the condition becomes worse for her life.
siblings. As case no. B stated: “After my divorce the
environment in my mother’s house was unexpected and Challenges related to getting a separate house
unbelievable to me because I saw a change in my brother’s According to the data obtained during interview, researcher
and sister’s attitude towards me. They did not accuse me found that before getting divorce only five informants stayed
directly but their behavior was totally changed. Sometimes separately while thirty three informants lived with parents.
they made me to understand that I am a stranger in that Two participants shared that they did love marriage therefore
house. So I should not involve in family decisions and matters. their parents didn’t support them after their. They tried to find
Since my two children were very small and I had to stay only a separate house for themselves but being a divorce woman
with my mother because my father was not alive”. was unable to get it. The story taken from the following one
woman illustrates this point very well.
Blame
Few of the informants shared that they were blamed for their Respondent case no: M narrated the case as follows
divorce, especially by their relatives or some times by their “After my divorce I wanted to live with my parents. But my
siblings Case no. B reported about how her elder brother father didn’t allow me to live with them as he was annoyed of
blamed her as follows; decision of love marriage. Even my brother and sister-in-law
“My elder brother blamed me for my divorce. Moreover my told me to leave my natal house….. It was difficult for me to
other siblings did not try to understand what psychological accept the indifferent behavior of my siblings. It was a big
pressure. I was passing through. However I tolerated all this challenge for me. I was worried about my daughter’s security.
because of my children. Some of my relatives said that you My mother was also silent on those situations, but without
are responsible for the dissolution of your marriage, they also telling anybody she arranged two rooms set and helped me
blamed me for my incapacity to continue my conjugal life”. financially. If she wouldn’t have helped me then the situation
would have been more critical”.In a different way, the
Another case no. R also faced same experience she shared difficulty of getting a separate house also narrated by
“After my divorce I lived with my family. After three or four participant Case no: R that the worst problem she faced as a
months I see the difference in their attitudes, especially with result of her divorce is to getting a separate house. As she
my elder brother and sister-in-law. They did not accuse me shared,
directly but they show me by their attitudes as if it was a “After divorce I felt alone and helpless. For this condition my
question of my womanhood that I could not continue my elder brother and sister-in-law were responsible, my children
marriage. It was very difficult for me to adjust with them. I were with my ex-husband, so there was no liability upon me. I
was forced to be isolated from them in every possible way to was rejected by one of my close friend and brother. I was all
avoid these humiliations”. alone”.

Family Support Harassment and Exploitation

Majority of the divorced women reported that they lived with Harassment, exploitation suppression in her pre and post
their parent’s house immediately after their divorce in which divorce life was explained. As case no: G stated,
few shared that they had not good relations with their parents “After divorce my dignity was Steered in the society because
at the beginning because their parents were under mental in our society men look at a divorced woman in a more dirty
pressure due to the social stigma. Most of the respondent ways than an unmarried woman. If divorcee women are not
found strength from their children and parents who provide educated and independent then she faces more problems to
great motivation to help them to move forward Respondent adjust herself in society. They treat a divorced woman as if
case no. H expressed the way how she overcomes the she is physically and financially needy. After my divorce, I
problems in the following manners; was working in a house as a maid. One day when I was
“After my divorce my family members helped and supported working there that time only head of the family was there he
me. They accepted me and made my life easier by not blaming was about 40 years old found me alone and pressed my
me and reminding me of the divorce. I am working in a media breasts. It was uneasy. I felt bad but could not do anything as
sector. Environment at my work place was not that much he was of high caste. After some time I raised my voice but
challenging for me, because I didn’t share to anyone about everyone blamed me that I am responsible for that incident. I
my divorcee status. I always pretend to wear an engagement was disturbed and I had to suffer mentally”.
ring to hide my status”.
Another case no: K stated different views
Another case no: E revealed “My husband was an irresponsible human being. The nights
“I opted love marriage without my parents consent. They were mostly night of verbal or physical fight. I used to accuse
broke off all the relations with me. So I couldn’t take help him of spoiling my life while had the same words, comments
from them. I got support from my children’s encouraging and tone for me in return slowly, he become a drunkard. I was
words. They use to told me don’t worry we are always with a mother and always dreamed that someday I would leave this
you. We will work hard to make life better don’t take tension man for better future of my child. Many a times my mother-in-
about father what, he had done to you. These words law locked the kitchen so that I could not cook food and thus
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they harassed me in this way. I was a silent spectator. But I Psychological problems
was exploited in the family. I feel suffocated and wanted to The other identified theme was the psychological problems of
find a way out of this situation”. divorce on divorced women that influenced directly or
indirectly them. Under this broad category, there are sub
Case no: L statement are given below themes which are categorized for an easy understanding.
“No doubt, I meet them for short period. I have understood Based on the interviews conducted on divorced women,
their choices, their desires and what they expected from me. I different forms of psychological problems were observed.
had never imagined that kind of life for me. Physically was When the informants were asked about the psychological
not satisfied with him. No matter he always tried hard for impacts of their divorce, majority of them reported that the
taking more time. He was physically strong, he tortured me divorce left them in depression and health problems, because
physically while having sex, my husband had no good ways they had not been able to continue their marriage for the rest
but he acted like an animal. It was disgusting and irritating of their life. As case no: B narrated, “My relatives did not
for me”. blame me directly; but they were always curious to discuss my
divorce, which was embarrassing to me”.
Economic hardships of divorced women A similar view was also expressed by case no: M revealed,
Economic aspect is the crucial, dominant and effective “When I found that my relatives or other people tried to
component of the society. Every happiness, trust, support and discuss my inability to continue my married life then I stopped
sympathy or tension, clash, quarrel and maladjustment or meeting them, even I avoided general conversation with them.
marital incompatibility in the family is the causes of Because I wanted to forget the chapter of divorce in my life”.
economic factors. The divorce rate is higher in spouses have
more expectation from each other, faced economic hardship Health
and gone far from their residence due to the economic One informant case no: E mentioned about her health problem
achievement. (Johnson and Wu, 2002; Lorenz et al, 1997) [7]. because she was worried about her children’s upbringing and
The other theme that identified was economic consequences their future. As she shared, “After divorce my physical
of divorce on women. The problem of women after divorce is condition deteriorated very badly. I didn’t want to take
an economic issue also. Family member has different divorce because I was worried about my children basic needs.
reactions to divorce and separation. Sometimes, spousal I was very upset and disappointed. I was very helpless
support and child support is denied to women, when this concerning to handle all those things together. I was sick
happens, women are put under tremendous stress to bear the because of my mental stress. Even though I don’t care what
burden of a single parent. Times were tough when there were others think about my divorce. I couldn’t overlook all
two family members earning and now that it has come down problems”.
to one, and that situation is very difficult to her. Most of the Another case No: G stated, “I faced problems related to
informants were not working before divorce, but they took finance because it was very difficult to me to upbringing the
jobs after their divorce to adjust to their economic expenses. children in 4000/- rupees. It was not enough to fulfill even
The informants also reported that they started to work so that basic requirements of my and my kids. I couldn’t provide two
they did not become burdens to their families. Financial crises times meal to my children. By which my health was badly
are a standing situation with some of the divorcee women. It affected thus I was under mentally pressure”.
becomes difficult in meeting the basic needs of children. As
case no: G stated, Suicide: One informant tried to kill herself due to under the
“Mental strength does not help if you don’t have the main pressure of social stigma of divorce, as case no: L revealed,
power to survive, that is, your economic capability. I am a “Many times I felt that there must be someone who can
maid servant. I earned for not myself but for the sake of my understand me. I feel alienated. At such time, I think of killing
children’s upbringing. I got little financial support from my myself. My life has turned into ocean of pains; in the world I
parents because they are also very poor, and could only help could not get someone who could relieve me of the pains. I
me up to that level”. was so depressed and felt loneliness. I have taken care of my
parents but I could not take care of myself”.
Problems related to emotional attachment
Lack of emotional attachment was identified by few of the Trauma: Divorce is a social phenomenon. In sometimes it
informants. Divorcees were not getting emotional support results in serious consequences that a divorced woman
from their husband. One informant case no: E shared her reaches to stage of trauma. As case no: C responded, “My
experience: divorce is a biggest trauma in my life and now I am not
“We were poor, the problem of food and adequate clothes interested in any activities, I am facing depression and the
were regular due to financial crunch. I didn’t go to school. most difficult thing during the divorce process was paucity of
My father is a rickshaw puller and mother is a maid servant. money, the lawyer asked for money every now and then it
My parents were abusive towards each other but emotionally took a long time for me to get divorced”.
they were very close. She again revealed that I had an affair
with the local boy. I was in love with him. One day, he put Feeling lonely and alone
vermilion to my head in front of a local temple. This way I got The other form of psychological consequence that
married without my parents consent. After that my parents investigated through in depth interview was the problem of
broke off all the relations with me. I was emotionally attached loneliness. Few participants expressed that their life as
with my husband but he never cared my emotions. He became divorced woman was one of feeling lonely and alone. One
drunker and abused me verbally. I don’t have any cherished informant case: F shared her experience, “After divorce I
memory with him. Our relation became so bitter in later days faced many problems. It’s a fact that males are always at
that there was no space for love. Thus, this was totally higher and they have superior position in the society in
unexpected end of dreams of my life”. comparison to women. To have divorce from my first
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husband was the biggest mistake I did. I must have adjusted whole in our society the divorce are not welcome and
with him because my second marriage proved more painful to approved and for this women are blamed more and their
me. At present I feel that I don’t have anyone in my life to prestige in social strata also declines. In evaluating the role of
which I can tell and share my feelings. It had been very the family as a source of social support It can be concluded
difficult for me to come out of the trauma and this has that the divorced woman almost always returns to the family
affected my health too. It completely shattered me and ruined of her origin, either to her parents or siblings or to other
my children’s life”. relatives (Choudhary, 1988; Mehta, 1975; Pothen, 1986) [4, 5,
6]
. In this paper researcher also found that majority of the
Lack in confidence respondent stated that they returned to the family, either to her
Some of the informants shared that they started disbelieving parents or siblings after their divorce when respondents were
themselves and tried to find out the loopholes in their asked that what type of role their parents play in their post
personalities. Post divorce life broke their confidence. Up to divorce life then majority of them reported that after their
the great extent that the victims felt that she is even not divorce they lived with their parents. Some of them reported
capable to do her daily routine works. Respondent case no: P that at the beginning they were not having good relations as
expressed her experience of being divorce and its impact on their parents were under mental pressure; social stigma in
her confidence. She used to think about remarrying but she their daughter’s life and they feel burden about their
didn’t think a man would accept her know that she is the daughter’s re-marriage, but later on their parents behavior
mother of three children and her face was full of burn scars as changed, gradually they came out of their mental pressure and
50% of her body was burned when she was set ablaze by her they accepted the truth of their daughter’s life. The informants
husband and mother-in-law. whose parents were not supportive towards them faced more
social challenges in society and it was a big challenge to them
Discussion to readjust in society. While the informants whose parents
This study attempts to investigate the challenges of pre and were supported towards them they faced fewer hardships to
post divorce life of divorced women. On the basis of readjust in society. It shows that parents attitude and support
observation of earlier studies and field interview it can be plays an important role for their divorced daughter’s for
concluded that there are many specific reasons for the friction, readjustment in society.
women play a central role in family relationships. When a The economic problem of divorced women particularly those
new marriage is formed and another woman enters the family with children were more serious. Financial crises are a
circle, a mother may believe, correctly, that she is less central standing situation with some of the divorcee women. It
in her son’s life and may be ambivalent about giving up the becomes difficult in meeting the basic needs of children such
close ties with him that she enjoyed in the past. A daughter- as food, clothing, school fees, maintaining the previous
in-law may also be guarded because she does not know what standard of living and meet personal expense.
to expect and whether she’ll be accepted. Such anxieties Most of the women, faced feeling of guilt, shame, resentment,
create a sense of insecurity on both sides. Field interview also anger, anxiety about future, feeling lonely and alone, trauma
shows that among the problems from marital family the and depression after divorce. The effect of divorce on women
acrimonious relationship between the respondents and their has mental and emotional implications which shelter a
mother-in-law is also responsible for the marital termination women’s self esteem. It influences women’s ability to become
after their husband. Informants also shared that their mother- a positive role model. She feels frightened considering herself
in-law’s usually commented or explicated them for domestic alone and worthless with none to support or comfort her.
chores; for male child, dowry and insecurity (mother-in-law Earlier studies shows, divorce is frequently accompanied by
feels insecure about her prime position in the family). feelings of helplessness, anger, depression, guilt loneliness
The behavior of the husband family towards a daughter-in- and other negative emotions (Booth & Amato, 1991).
law after she enters the matrimonial home is remarkably Above discussion showed that divorce was a stressful
ambivalent. On the one hand, there are great expectations experienced and puts an immense amount of strain or
from her. On the other, she is subjected to teasing and depression on divorced women. The marital termination was
taunting by her matrimonial family. Such teasing and taunting traumatic for the women since they feel they were defying the
may relate to her looks her way of dressing up, her family norms set by the society. Woman whose feelings of self
background or the dowry that she brought with her. If the esteem get affected, sometimes she starts thinking that this
daughter- in-law shows patience and for bear and the teasing happened to her only because she was not a good person,
and taunting remains within reasonable limits, things which leads to self destruction and they feel lonely and alone
eventually improve and the daughter-in-law is able to carve and in turn depression. Due to trauma sometimes they opt
out a place for herself in the family. However, if the teasing suicide. Depression leads to feelings of anger and insecurity.
and taunting arises from some genuine grievance with respect
to dowry, the way the marriage was arranged or the character Conclusion
of the daughter-in-law, it can persist and lead to family Divorce is multidimensional and it involves multifactor social
discord. events. It can be found in each and every society, which may
The reason given by some divorced women for expecting be either in customary, or in legal form. Basically it occurs
social problems after divorce is due to having a bad easily within more open and industrial society. It is emerging
relationship with the relatives and siblings. The informants a form of new sociological events due to the pattern of socio-
also shared that they were treated as belonging to a different cultural changes by the process of modernization and
group because of their divorce. simultaneously urbanization. In our context it should be
Majority of the divorcee women described in different ways sociologically investigated. This study has been an attempt to
the experience of rejection and social isolation as a result of identify the causes of divorce, which provides sociological
their divorce. The social life and relationship of divorced insight to further researcher. Single causal factor is not
women did have much difference from married one. On a responsible for dissolution of marriage. Different natures of
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dissatisfactions between the spouses are affecting due to the

personal, familial, social and economic condition or structure.
Therefore, it should be treated under the multidimensional
approach basically in the reference to contemporary changing
socio-cultural pattern.
Divorce was such a problem that breeds many other social,
economic and cultural constraints which compel the divorced
women to lead a traumatic life behind the screen of society.
Due to divorcee status children also become deprived of the
parental affection. Substantially that influences their
socialization process negatively. Due to divorce the divorced
women pay a lion share of the social costs of consequences
from their familial to social life. She loses her status and has
to depend on semi skilled or unskilled work for survival. The
natures of causes are differing from men to women. Divorce
is not only the end of marital relations between the spouses
rather it has caused serious problems on their children and
adjustment problems themselves in the community. There are
different divorce cases, which are not found in the court
record in visible form due to social, cultural and economic
constraints. Therefore it is essential to examine and analyze
customary divorce practices, which found in each and every
community.

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