Understanding Temperament
Understanding Temperament
Understanding Temperament
EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY
Temperament Matters
Do you have children whose reactions seem to be excessive: for example, when
they see something sad, they cry for hours afterwards? Do they get upset over
what appears to be the smallest of things and sometimes nothing at all?
Or, do you have children who seem to rarely get upset or express how they are
feeling?
The degree to which your children are emotionally sensitive is an innate part of
their temperament. An individual’s temperament consists of ten traits, and is
what makes all children unique in how they respond to the world around
them. Understanding your children’s temperament can help you to parent them in
the most effective way possible.
No Yes
1 2 3 4 5
Unaware of own feelings Feels Strongl
If the majority of your responses fall toward the right side of either or both scales,
then you have children who are more emotionally sensitive. This means that your
children have a tendency to display emotions such as hurt, sorrow, worry,
embarrassment, fear, empathy or anger more straightforwardly, even more
dramatically, than those who are less emotionally sensitive.
The goal is not to dismiss their feelings; instead, teach them how to express
their strong reactions in socially appropriate ways.
These children will often share with you how they feel about every little thing.
They may feel and express any injustices very strongly, such as those related to
their siblings and “fair” treatment.
Do not take their intense emotions so personally.
They tend to hold on to feelings much longer than others, which can be very
trying for parents. Teach them how to forgive and forget, so they can learn to
move on and not dwell on feelings.
Highly emotionally sensitive children can become overwhelmed when they
encounter scenes depicting emotionally charged topics. Parents may need to
monitor their children’s viewing of media or events that are too frightening or
sad.
The positive side of having children who are more emotionally sensitive,
especially towards others, is that they often tend to be much more considerate
and empathic.
As adults they often do well in careers in the helping professions, and they can
be very sensitive writers.
Emotional Sensitivity, to others
Do your children seem to notice when others are upset or hurt?
Do they seem to “feel what others are feeling”?
Do your children show a lot of empathy or sympathy towards others who are
upset?
No Yes
1 2 3 4 5
Insensitive to others’ feelings emotionally tuned in
If, on the other hand, most of your answers to the questions above fall toward the
left side of the scales, then you have children who are less emotionally sensitive.
These children rarely become upset even under adverse circumstances and
tend not to make a “big deal” about things.
They often do not notice and are unaware of how others are feeling and sometimes
they even might be considered insensitive or self-centered.
These children need to learn to identify what others are feeling and often they
need assistance in understanding their own emotions. Parents can help by
naming these emotions for their children, by talking about feelings and by
encouraging the expression of their children’s feelings.
Everyday events, like watching the news or a movie, reading a book together, or
shopping, can be great opportunities to share your feelings and emotions, and
help your children identify and talk about their feelings and reactions.