Wow yet another reality show as if we needed another one . I mean a British audience hasn't seen one of these for at least 30 seconds by my reckoning . There's a gimmick attached though - All the contestants are celebrities , or at least celebrity singletons . Does anyone think the producers meant celebrity simpletons ? okay who have we got
Abi Titmuss a foul mouthed middle class trollop who first came to public attention because her fairly famous boyfriend was cleared of sex assault charges in a court case and who appeared in a home sex tape with her boyfriend and ... well I won't go into details since you've probably seen the tape in question . As you might expect Titmuss appears without many clothes and no air brushing and you can't help but notice she should change her name to " Flabby Titmuss "
Rebecca Loos who's claim to fame is that she's bisexual , had an affair with a very famous married footballer and appeared on another reality show where she had to collect pig semen . Hands up who felt sorry for the poor piggy ?
Jayne Middlemiss who used to work as a page three girl before becoming a TV presenter . Actually she comes across as a fairly nice human being while most of the other contestants seem to have a problem being human beings never mind fairly nice ones
Perhaps this has contributed to CELEBRITY LOVE ISLAND being one of the biggest TV disasters in years . You know how the word " Celebrity " creeps up in the title ? well apart from the three people I've named I have no idea who the other ones are apart from some bloke who used to be in EASTENDERS several years ago so we're not talking megastars here . It should also be pointed out that absolutely nothing seems to happen and we just get shots of these non entities sitting by a pool sunbathing and talking about nothing of any interest . The show is censored so any libelous conversations such as one cropping up about a footballer who used to trawl car parks for sex ( You know who you are ) are cut and edited sound of splashing waves appear on the soundtrack
It might sound laughably cynical but does this show have any function other than masturbation fuel ? I mean that's probably what a great number of people tuned in for but it becomes obvious that even if a couple got it on there's no way the TV company will be broadcasting recorded highlights never mind real time rumpo so I guess that's why the audience figures took a massive dive . 6.4 million viewers watched the first episode but a couple of days later the figures were just over 3 million and it looks like the show is getting pulled long before it finishes its scheduled five week run and you have to ask why anyone thought this pile of crap was a good idea in the first place
Let this be a warning to TV producers , very little people give a toss about a CELEBRITY LOVE ISLAND which is devoid of celebrities anyone would love and hopefully it will help to kill off this ridiculous obsession with reality shows . We don't want reality - We want Christopher Eccleston saving Billie Piper from evil monsters
