User reviews

The acting in this beach romp feast is not to be compared with the likes of Citizen Kane, more likely to that of Hard Bodies 1&2. This movie would by most standards be regarded as a "B" movie, but even at that it is a easy viewing movie, there's no political messages, no stands for anything, just some parody, slap-stick and a little skin. If you feel this movie may not be mentally stimulating enough, sit back,relax and mellow out for a little laughs and silliness.

I saw a trailer for THE BEACH GIRLS while I was working my way through BCI Eclipse' Drive-in Cult Classics 1, 2, 3, and 4 (featuring Crown International Pictures releases) on DVD.

In this offering, BCI paired THE BEACH GIRLS with "Coach" as a "Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature." Sex, drugs, alcohol, post-graduation party; and, drug smugglers… this film holds nothing back! This movie is everything "American Pie" wanted to be (but without the pastry abuse!)

Like other Crown International Pictures features, THE BEACH GIRLS packs a lot of story in a very short time. It is almost a cross between "Malibu Beach" and, "Weekend with the Babysitter." THE BEACH GIRLS features a group of young people graduating from high school into a way of life where sex and drugs are widespread, without any moral consequences.

In the opening scene, when we first meet Sarah, we can see that Debra Blee really has a "Jane March kind of vibe going on" (think "Color of Night"); and, sense the simmering sexual undercurrent that lies beneath the bookish exterior, which is the whole point of the movie.

As for the supporting cast, Bert Rosario, as the horny gardener, steals every scene he is in – he is hilarious, with some of the best physical comedy and sight gags in the film! The fight between Wang and the gardener was a scream.

The score features fun beach music and driving rock ballads.

A nice flashback to the fictionalized version of the early 80s.

I saw this film over 20 years ago and thought it was pretty funny back then. The one thing that always stuck in my mind was that the actress who played Ducky was one of the hot ZZ Top video babes. It was on cable the other day, and I was surprised at how much I still liked this. Pretty harmless R-rated fun with lots of nudity, drinking and drugs. A nice flashback to the early 80s when party films like this ruled the drive-in circuit. Watching it now is not unlike watching those old Frankie/Annette films. Tons of dumb humor, plenty of outlandish characters and a cheesy soundtrack make this appealing even to snobs who think they're above such low budget fare.

I first saw this movie on late-night Cinemax when I was about fourteen years old. It has become a cult classic in my book. I showed it to all my friends after taping it. It is an absolute hoot! It's so bad that it is absolutely hilarious! The story: Virginial Sarah (Deborah Blee, who went on to the triumphant "Hamburger: The Motion Picture") goes to spend the summer at her Uncle Carl's beach house. Sarah has invited two friends to join her for the summer: Loose hussies Ducky (Jenna Thomasina, a PLAYBOY playmate of the year) and Ginger (bleach-blonde Val Kline, who seems to have vanished.) Much to the disapproval of Sarah, Ginger & Ducky turn Uncle Carl's beach house into a wild, no-holds-barred sex, drugs, and alcohol orgy. When Uncle Carl arrives unexpectedly, he demands that the party stop, but topless Ginger and Ducky ply him with booze and marijuana, and soon Uncle Carl joins in the party. Meanwhile, drug smugglers being chased by the Coast Guard dump dozens of garbage bags filled with pot into the ocean, and the bags float up in front of Uncle Carl's. What follows is a wild pot party, with the Coast Guard raiding Uncle Carl's and building a bonfire with all of the confiscated weed. Everybody gets deleriously high. That's the movie! I could list some truly classic lines but there's not enough space. Trust me...this is funny, funny, funny...in a good/bad sort of way. Get your hands on it if you can! Great party flick!

There is little else to say about this movie in a favorable light. I think it would have given Ronald Reagan a heart attack with its silly approach to drugs, sex, and really bad new-age meets porn sound track. They just don't make'em like this one anymore! (For good reason)

THE BEACH GIRLS is a forgotten slice of exploitation from Crown International Pictures, masquerading as a comedy. The title tells you exactly what to expect: a slimly-plotted yarn involving a number of bikini-clad beach girls who decide to hold a massive party at their beach house. When a huge haul of marijuana washes up on the beach, the scene is set for a whole lot of fun...

This is an amiable and forgotten '80s movie that's very much a product of its era. The acting is generally hopeless and the direction worse, and the sole point of the exercise seems to be to show as many naked breasts as possible; you'll soon lose count of the number of times the director shows a woman unstringing her bikini before whipping it off and then jumping into the sea or swimming pool.

The supporting characters are a mildly amusing bunch of stiff-lipped coastguards, Peeping Tom gardeners, a random kung fu-fighting chauffeur, and various beefcake for the ladies. Chief actress Debra Blee is actually very pretty and sweet although she undergoes one of those unbelievable transformations from nerd to babe just by losing her sweater, her hair pins, and those massive glasses.

It's not exactly meant to be "Richard III". It's a 1980s sex comedy. It's upbeat, it's engaging, it's often funny, and the characters are actually likable. In fact, this is frequently wacky stuff, with lots of off the wall incidental gags thrown into the mix for good measure. It's pretty much impossible to dislike. Granted, the main characters are clearly older than they're meant to be (they're supposed to be teenagers), but that's not really a quibble.

Two carefree, boy crazy gal pals, Ginger (Val Kline), and Ducky (Jeana Keough) hook up with a more reserved, responsible friend, Sarah (Debra Blee), whose uncle Carl (Adam Roarke) has graciously allowed Sarah the use of his sumptuous beach house for the summer. The expected raunchy (actually, they're never really *that* raunchy) hijinks ensue.

As one can see, the movie, directed by Bud Townsend and written by Patrick Sheane Duncan, is not exactly strong on story, nor does it need to be. It does have its little subplots, such as an amusingly sleazy local drug runner, Captain Jack (Paul Richards) sometimes running afoul of the local Coast Guard captain (Herbie Braha, who throws in impressions of Humphrey Bogart), and the misadventures of Carls' horny gardener (Bert Rosario) as he attempts to get an eyeful of all of the shapely ladies who start to frequent the place. The main set piece of the movie is a wild party, but the finale provides some of the biggest laughs. Sarah goes through a personality shift, finally starting to blossom when it's suggested that she's too uptight, but this bit of business never gets melodramatic.

The acting is appealing all the way down the line, especially from Blee, who went on to appear in "Savage Streets". Viewers may recognize Keough from being a Playboy Playmate and a visual attraction in ZZ Top videos. James Daughton of "Animal House" plays a nice guy musician, Mary Jo Catlett ('Diff'rent Strokes') is a local busybody, and other familiar faces include Catherine Mary Stewart as a surfer girl, Tessa Richarde as Doreen, Corinne Bohrer as a partygoer, and George Cheung, one of the villains from "Rambo: First Blood Part II", as a chauffeur. As can be expected, a number of the ladies show us the goods, so there's no complaints in that department.

In short, this is very simple, irresistible lowbrow entertainment, and it's never mean spirited, which is a big part of its charm. Lovers of this kind of movie should find it quite agreeable.

Seven out of 10.

With school out for the summer, "Sarah" (Debra Blee) has invited a couple of her college friends by the names of "Ginger" (Val Kline) and "Ducky" (Jeana Tomasino) to spend some time with her at the spacious beach house of her uncle named "Carl Purdue" (Adam Roarke). Although Sarah prefers to spend her time with just Ginger and Ducky, both of her friends have other ideas and soon young men and women from all over appear and the party soon gets out of hand. Along with that a notorious drug runner named "Captain Jack" (Paul Richards) just happens to be operating in the area and this has drawn the attention of the Coast Guard led by the strict officer named "Captain Blye" (Herbie Braha). Now rather than reveal any more of this movie I will just say that it deviated quite sharply from the "beach movies" of the past. Instead of the conventional humor and the innocent, romantic drama between scantily clad men and women on a beach which was so prevalent in the films of the 60's, this particular movie attempts to essentially combine its humor with both nudity and drug use. Strangely enough, it wasn't the nudity which caused this film to suffer as much as it was comedy aspect which tended to fall really flat. Throw in a lot of bad acting on the part of just about everyone concerned and there really isn't much in this film to recommend to anyone. For what it's worth though, of the young ladies present I thought both Val Kline and Tessa Richarde (as "Doreen") were easily the most attractive of the bunch and certainly helped brighten the scenery to some extent. Unfortunately, their presence wasn't enough for me to rate this film any higher than I have. Slightly below average.

This equal opportunity '80s nugget flips the coin on any number of "horny dudes road trip to the beach to party and score" movies by instead focusing on a trio of attractive ladies in pretty much that same scenario. Shy and bookish Sarah invites her wild best friends Ducky and Ginger to her uncle's waterfront cottage for a summer of fun in the sun, and a slew of politically incorrect debauchery promptly ensues. Ducky and Ginger are eager to take their clothes off whenever the opportunity presents itself and (ahem) socialize with as many guys as humanly possible, but Sarah only has eyes for Scott, the sensitive bohemian guitar-playing hitchhiker who tags along with the gals after they give him a lift. It's all fairly standard stuff, but thanks to a cast of likable characters and a number of effective laughs, The Beach Girls ends up being a notable standout amongst a cluttered field of similar offerings.

Right from the opening montage, amusing sight gags like a nun in full habit regalia waxing up her boogie board to hit the waves suggest that this comedy might actually have some of that in it. The action is also peppered with recurring bits like an omnipresent handyman who thinks he's gone to voyeur heaven when the house becomes essentially filled with naked partygoers but instead spends the movie being alternately electrocuted and knocked down staircases, as well as the hijinks of a beach dog with a penchant for fetching the bikini tops off of unsuspecting sunbathers. In addition to the standard pratfalls, The Beach Girls also introduces a handful of comical absurdist elements like an inept karate-practicing limo driver and (hey, why not) a left-field subplot about an overzealous coast guard crew pursuing a band of marijuana-smuggling pirates, complete with eye patches.

Even the ribald one-liners land more often than not, such as when one of our leads has to disentangle the nude bodies of an amorous couple making out on the couch to locate the remote control; after finally digging it out from underneath their conjoined mass, she holds up the bulky device and asks, "didn't you feel that?", to which the lass on the sofa replies, "oh, I thought it was him." The humor is all strictly low-brow, but the producers of this outing clearly understood their intended audience, and the fact that this flick seems to be poking fun at itself half the time only adds to its charm.

Of course, the good times can't last forever. Soon, Sarah's uncle arrives to discover the raging fiesta and some of his uppity neighbors begin objecting to the bacchanalian happenings in their peaceful neighborhood. Meanwhile, Sarah herself faces an identity crisis as she tries to shed her demure disposition to keep up with Ducky and Ginger's prodigious consumption of boys and booze. All the story threads work themselves out about the way you'd expect, and nobody really learns any significant life lessons to speak of, but anyone who attends this bash with The Beach Girls looking for heady twists is totally missing the point.

Ultimately, this is a movie that delivers exactly what it advertises: a whole lot of gratuitous nudity and a consistent slew of memorable antics in a genuinely funny 90-minute package. I'm not sure if The Beach Girls qualifies as the "best" entry in the 1980's sex farce catalog, but its highly attractive cast, winningly goofy music, and inspired gonzo climax certainly make a strong case for that designation, and any cinephile who fancies themselves a connoisseur of this inimitable genre should consider this an immediate must see. Your payoff won't be quite as rewarding as that of the frolicking revelers who actually get to partake in the shenanigans here, but experiencing this gala second hand is still loads of fun.

Essentially this is a remake by Crown International of their fairly successful 1978 comedy, Malibu Beach. It features the same scenario, a similar story line devoted to coming of age in a fairly pervasive drug culture, and similar comedy lines - right down to the dog that snatches bikini tops from beach babes sleeping on the sand. What do you expect from such a movie? It will not educate you, give you anything to think about, involve you in the lives of complex or interesting cast members, or even stimulate you in any way. It will however pass the short time spent quite pleasantly, particularly if you are watching it with friends or have a partner to share it with. If this is what you want, the film is competently made and deserves a fairly high rating, if you want more it is a disaster that you will inevitably class as a turkey.

I personally very much prefer it to its forerunner Malibu Beach largely I think because the characters, although transparently simple, are more real and less heavily less caricatured. If there is a message, it is that the world needs lots of readily available marihuana to put us all into a warm comfortable frame of mind in which many of the unpleasantnesses of life can be forgotten. This is a message of which I would strongly disapprove, and which would make it difficult for me to say kind words about any film. However I do not believe this film is intended to have any message at all. It simply aims to feature the lifestyle of young people who have grown up in a culture where marihuana use is widespread, without making any moral judgments. It is played purely as a farce, which gets very close to becoming pure slapstick but never quite crosses the line - again I think because the characters, whilst all overdrawn to varying extents, remain real recognisable people. I am not a lover of farce where characters tend to quickly become no more than cardboard cut-outs, but this is less of a problem here than with most farces.

I remember enjoying this film when I first saw it some 20 years ago (a time when my expectations from girlie movies were no doubt somewhat different). I recently saw the DVD release featuring it (as a double feature with "The Pom Pom Girls" - which is best quickly forgotten.), so I decided to re-view it and see how it (or I myself) had survived the years. My reaction after viewing it again was that I would love to meet one of the three main characters, who must now be middle aged matrons - probably with family responsibilities for teenagers of their own - and ask their recollections of participating in the making of this film. Movie making is never easy but I suspect that they would remember it as a real fun time which all the cast members enjoyed. The important point is that this fun not only comes out clearly in the film, but also makes it fun to watch. Within the constraints discussed above, I can only report that I enjoyed this film and rate it as worth about 3 stars out of five.

Debra Blee is Sarah the straight arrow bookworm tasked with housesitting for her uncle Carl (Adam Roarke). The fact that it is a fairly large estate on the beach makes it the ideal spot for the endless parties thrown by Sarah's polar opposite friends Ginger (Val Kline) and Ducky (Jeana Tomasina). Ginger and Ducky also bring a hitchhiking wanderer Scott (James Daughton) who seems to be interested in getting to know (in the biblical way of course) the shy Sarah. Meanwhile a drug deal gone bad leaves garbage bags filled with marijuana on the beach which are found by the girls and are kindly handed out to attendees of that night's celebration. Soon, Carl is notified by neighbors to return home immediately to put an end to the hijinks whereupon he becomes instantly smitten with the usually topless Ginger and Ducky. You get the jist.

Don't expect "From Here to Eternity" as this is the typical early eighties beer, boobs and beach flick that doesn't require a strong storyline in order to display the next pair of breasts, though I'm not complaining. The women are all very attractive especially the voluptuous Sarah who finally shows off her wonderful assets toward the end of the movie. Ducky, played by Jeana Tomasina can be seen on "Housewives of Orange County" as a not so svelte anymore (Then again who is?) Jeana Keough. The sideplot involving Carl and the much younger Ginger and Ducky is too much to believe even for a silly movie like this. Why would these women saddle themselves with this old man when plenty of men their age are at their parties? Future Hugh Hefner "housemates" perhaps? All things considered watching this movie is like peeing in the ocean. It gave you quick relief and nobody has to know you did it.

A dark, esoteric look at... nah, it's an 80s teen sex comedy. I admit to being a big fan of the genre. It was the one thing my Father and I ever really bonded over, and God knows the 80s gave us enough of them. Even Andrea Dworkin probably saw 'Porky's' and 'Revenge of the Nerds', but there are dozens and dozens of them out there, like 'The Beach Girls', that have slipped into the neon-soaked haze of the forgotten 80s.

Anyway, the movie. The plot is... well, if you watch a movie like this for the plot, you're probably one of those people who goes to McDonald's and buys a salad. Everything is an excuse for the bevy of young women--and even the guys in this case, as there was some unfortunate sausage on display--to get nude. In that 'The Beach Girls' certainly delivers. The fact that our main protagonists are female (a rarity in these kinds of films) made it all feel *slightly* less exploitative at least.

Filled with pretty girls, excessive drinking, drug use and offensive ethnic stereotypes, 'The Beach Girls' is everything you'd expect from a film of this genre. If it doesn't exactly reach the heights of 'Hard Bodies', at least it's better than 'Screwball Hotel'.

When I reviewed "Where the Boys Are", a 1960 film about a group of college girls spending a spring break on the beaches of Florida, I pointed out that its coyly suggestive attitude to sex meant that it could only have been made during the not-quite-permissive era of the early sixties; it would have been too suggestive for 1940 or 1950 and too coy for 1970 or 1980.

"The Beach Girls", which deals with a similar theme except that here the beaches are in California rather than Florida, shows us just how a film on this subject would have been made in the early eighties. Sarah, a young college student, rents a beach house from her uncle, hoping to use the break for some serious study. While there she is joined by her friends Ginger and Ducky, who are far more interested in having fun than in studying. ("Ducky" is presumably a nickname, although it is never explained how she came by it or what her real name is. The scriptwriter must have been unaware that in Britain at this period "ducky" was an offensive slang term for a male homosexual). At one point one character even uses the phrase "where the boys are", suggesting that the film was conceived as a deliberate updating of its 1960 equivalent. ("Where the Boys Are" also has a major female character with an odd, unexplained nickname, "Tuggle").

There are two main differences between the two films. "Where the Boys Are" is not a pure comedy; it starts off as one but introduces a more serious note towards the end when one of the girls is sexually assaulted. There is nothing remotely serious about "The Beach Girls". And "The Beach Girls" is, of course, much more sexually explicit, although even here there is a limit to its explicitness. The film-makers are always careful to stay on the right side of the thin dividing line between a sex comedy and a porno. There are plenty of explicit sex references (to say nothing of explicit drug references) but no explicit sex scenes; plenty of bare breasts and bottoms on display, but nothing full-frontal.

There are a number of strands to the plot. One involves Sarah, a seemingly plain, frumpy girl who only has to take her glasses off and let her hair down to reveal herself as just as drop-dead gorgeous as any of her glamorous friends. (Spot the cliché!) Even when Sarah has let her hair down in the literal sense, however, she takes a lot longer to do so metaphorically; her main aim is to find True Love when everyone else is just looking to find True Sex. Another strand deals with the attempts of Ginger and Ducky to seduce (among others) Sarah's uncle and a third deals with the world's most inept drug-runners being pursued by the world's most inept coastguards and with what happens when their supply of cannabis goes missing. There is also a running joke about an accident-prone handyman and another about a Peeping Tom who is always spying on the girls with a telescope.

As with most movies of this nature, however, the plot is not really important except as a means of achieving the film's one true end, which is to show as a group of pretty girls, and equally pretty boys, wearing as little as possible. The one exception seems to be Sarah, who spends most of the time fully dressed, only briefly stripping down to a one- piece swimsuit. Perhaps the actress Debra Blee signed up in the belief that this was going to be a quite different sort of movie; she certainly acts like it.

It would be fair to say that you would not expect to find major acting talents in low-budget sex comedies like this one. The trouble with "The Beach Girls" is that you can't even find minor acting talents in it; most of the cast appear to have no talent at all. Val Kline, who stars here as Ginger, appears to have made no other films at all, and I can understand why. Most of her lines were nearly inaudible. Jeana Tomasino as Ducky is only slightly better, but she did at least go on to appear in a few other films, doubtless helped by her status as a Playboy model.

The scriptwriters were just as talentless as the cast; the plot lines are feeble and the attempts at humour all fall completely flat. What I found most offensive about it was the running assumption that drug taking is good healthy fun and that if everyone sat around all day smoking pot the world would be all the better for it. In fairness to the film-makers I suppose that the strains of cannabis available in the early eighties were less potent, and therefore less harmful, than modern ones.

Today, fifty-odd years after it was made, "Where the Boys Are" has taken on a certain period charm. The passage of more than three decades has not done the same for "The Beach Girls". All it has today is a certain period charmlessness. The seventies may be remembered as the decade that taste forgot, but films like this one serve to remind us that tastelessness did not end with the decade. 2/10

1st watched 1/31/2015, 2 out of 10(Dir-Pat Townsend): Pretty bad teen exploitation movie about a group of girls who are given a beach house to use while an uncle is away – so, of course, the parties start and never really cease. The niece, who actually is given the place, is the tamest of the group, but her friends are the party animals who kind of take over by bringing in the booze, marijuana, and – of course, the boys. There a couple of subplots that try to bring in humor but neither of them do a very good job of it. The first involves a bumbling gardener who finds himself hurting himself over and over again as he peeks in on the festivities. The other story involves a pirate-like ship holding bags of weed, and being chased by a coast guard group who are far from perfect. Then we have your typical will boy get girl scenario between Debra Blee's tamer character and James Daughton's semi-nice guy. Will they ever hook up ?? Do we care ?? There is plenty of nudity, boob and ass shaking – but very little plot that we care about. The only thing that kept me from giving this the lowest of the scale is the quality of some of the girls especially Jeana Tomasina – who can be seen on some of the rock videos from the decade and is a knockout. It's kind of lame when this is the only redeeming quality to a movie, but this is the case. I'm pretty sure Crown International made some money from these low-budget teen teasers because there are plenty of them. Most of them have very little to give to the movie world though, and this is no exception. Avoid this unless you want to see Miss Tomasina in all her glory.

The only reasons I am putting anything on here about this movie are: First of all, to correct the previous reviewer, Debra Blee does bare her ample breasts, although it is for just a second before her love interest covers them and secondly, just to let you know that Jeana Tomasina was my favorite playmate of all time and she plays her role just as she should.... a hottie that likes to party. The story is pretty standard of this genre...hot girls...great house on the beach... let's have a party, which of course, gets a little bit wild. But, hey, what else would be expected? The topless scene on the boat with Jeana reveals a perfect pair of beauties and makes me a jealous man.

The highest grossing film of 1982 was saccharine-sweet family sci-fi classic E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, but how many sexy young hotties did it feature? None, that's how many (I'm sorry but Drew Barrymore and Erika Eleniak were far TOO young to count, and Dee Wallace was too old). On the other hand, The Beach Girls is chock full of pert naked and semi-naked cuties making it hands down the superior film in terms of gratuitous T&A. In your face Spielberg!

In fact, of all of the teenage sex comedies I've seen from the 80s, The Beach Girls has got to be one of the finest in terms of sheer quantity and quality of breasts, the number of scorching hot chicks willing to whip off their tops easily compensating for the film's dumb plot and desperate humour. The driving force behind this constant tirade of topless totty are best pals Ginger and Ducky (beautiful blonde Val Kline and brunette babe Jeana Keough) who visit their friend Sarah (Debra Blee) at her Uncle Carl's swanky beach property with the aim of partying hard all summer. Before long, there's a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals, although prudish Sarah is reluctant to join in the fun, keeping her plentiful assets under cover much to the frustration of hunky drifter Scott (James Daughton).

The wild partying looks set to end earlier than planned when Uncle Carl arrives home unexpectedly after a tip off from nosy neighbour Mrs. Brinker (Mary Jo Catlett); however, Ginger and Ducky aren't about to give in without a fight and convince Carl to see things their way by seducing the lucky bloke. Another party is soon under way, and proves to be an even wilder affair than before thanks to the discovery of several bin liners full of weed washed up on the beach (having been dumped in a hurry by incompetent drug smuggler Captain Jack). Under the relaxing influence of the pot, and with more than a little encouragement from her friends, Sarah eventually sees the error of her ways, realises that life is too short to have inhibitions, and learns to have fun—by popping her top off to reveal her awesome rack and getting it on with a very lucky Scott on the beach. Don't you just love a film that comes with a valuable life lesson?

This a lot of mindless fun, but don't make the mistake of thinking that all The Beach Girls has to offer is non-stop childish smut and teenage debauchery, 'cos you would be wrong: in addition to all the nudity and drug-related humour, the film also offers discerning viewers some truly surreal moments (a strangely out-of-place food fight gag and a talking bag of pot being quite bizarre), a silly secondary plot-thread featuring a bumbling coast-guard crew led by a captain who talks like Humphrey Bogart, a bit of frisbee action (admittedly from a woman with big tits), and Carl's Mexican gardener fighting his fiancé's Japanese chauffeur in a mud pit. So much more entertaining than a wrinkly alien and a flying bike, don't cha think?

7.5 out of 10, rounded up to 8 for IMDb for the lovely Debra Blee, who reminded me a little bit of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Here we go again, another summer sex flick, that starts off just like Where The Boys Are. Three girls, two wild sorts, the other introverted, who's parents are lending their beach house out to them, pick up stud/singer (Daughton) who went on to star in Spies Luke Us. Of course the situation is clichéd as Daughton falls for 'Ms Virginal doesn't know how to have a good time'. Rent The Bikini Shop that came out years later, it's the same character related scene there. The wild girls, the bikini girls, hit marijuana gold, where it washes up on the beach. Plot: there's hardly any, and what there is of it is all clichéd. How's that hot blondie wild child, who falls for the Dad of her introverted friend. They make out, I mean she's a devouring sight to the eyes, plonked ever so close. next to him, as she smokes some Mary Jane and chugs down some water sexily from a container, one of my vivid memories of this weak as water film. Even more weirder, is we have the second housekeeper from the t.v. sitcom, Different Strokes. This is a long tiresome sex romp, a straining watch for some. The acting is as you would expect, though there's a couple of good performances (Huckabee, Daughton, and Mary Jo Catlett) The movie's song "Gonna go to Paradise" is probably the film's best asset, but the hot blonde's deliciously stark presence is another. Just don't go looking for a movie here.

As classic a piece of 80's cheeseball as you will ever find. Its worth the time watching it just to follow the "zany" antics of the gardener, who always seems to be in the right place at the wrong time. Some of the worst writing and acting anywhere, with so many bad lines delivered its hard to pick out which is the worst.

From the supposed 'top' actors, down to the lowest U-5ers: ALL are despicable. Ridiculous 'acting'...I'm not even sure why I'm wasting time commenting.

"I wanna go to paradise. Where the girls all look so nice." the lyrics of the song '(I want to go to) Paradise' by Arsenal at the beginning of the movie encapsulates what it is all about. The movie revolves around Sarah (Debra Blee) receiving her friends Ginger (Val Kline) and Ducky (Jeana Keough) at her uncle's beach house in order to have the best party ever. Unbeknownst to Sarah, they invite Scott (James Daughton) and from the moment he and Sarah met they will start to have feelings for each other, something the movie makes plain by the often-exaggerated smiles and gazes.

Directed by Bud Townsend, The Beach Girls is an honest movie in its unpretentious approach that ultimately undermines any attempt at quality. The characters in the movie are exactly what you would expect: unidimensional sex-and-party driven and lacking any profundity. An exchange between two of them exemplifies this lack: both trying to impress the other, he flexing "How do you like these pecks?" while she unzips her top "How do you like these bushels?" Nonetheless, the movie wants to portray at least two of them in a different fashion, that is, Sarah and Scott, who, unlike their attire-adverse friends prefer to spend at least some of their time alone by the beach trying to have deep ruminations about their future.

When it comes to Sarah, deemed a "fifty-year-old teenager" by her friends, she is not entirely convinced of the idea of turning her uncle's house into a sanctuary of hedonism. Neither is her uncle Carl (Adam Roarke), and his reluctance will make Sarah's topless friends brainstorm ideas about changing his mind. It is not difficult to imagine the nature of their ideas. The beautiful Val Kline will utilize her talents to captivate Carl in ways that would make Leonardo DiCaprio jealous. It might be said a story like this takes you back to a simpler time, one where its simplicity might not exhaust its purpose although it surely risks any artistic merit. To think that the script was written by three people is testament that cinema as an art form has definitely improved.

Bud Townsend's feature is one where voyeurs abound. From the gardener (Bert Rosario) to their neighbors, they all want to fulfill their curiosity and explore the many naked bodies. Bare-breasted girls is something the movie shows repeatedly, most of the times being Val Kline and Jeana Keough responsible for this. By reason of said voyeuristic practices, the movie, unsuccessfully, aims at some laughs. Unsuccessfully because the humor, like the plot, suffers from its simplicity: full of bad slapstick, silly jokes, anything that a teen might find funny but an adult with developed taste don't. There is a moment when it breaks the fourth wall, bad choreographed attempts of a fight, a group of coast officials who do not stand out for their brightness, evidences that amount to failed attempts at comedy. Even the dog with proclivities of depriving the ladies at the beach of their tops is not funny. If it is true that the nakedness in the movie abounds, then it is also true that in terms of comedy it is in short supply.

However, despite all its flaws, which are many, The Beach Girls manages to be somewhat entertaining. Light entertainment that does not asks much of its audience. The number of subplots manage to provide a story where something is happening all the time. And the sight of Val Kline will keep you watching, but there is not much more than that.