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4/10
Is that a salami in your pocket? Or you're just glad to see me?
11 November 2024
"I wanna go to paradise. Where the girls all look so nice." the lyrics of the song '(I want to go to) Paradise' by Arsenal at the beginning of the movie encapsulates what it is all about. The movie revolves around Sarah (Debra Blee) receiving her friends Ginger (Val Kline) and Ducky (Jeana Keough) at her uncle's beach house in order to have the best party ever. Unbeknownst to Sarah, they invite Scott (James Daughton) and from the moment he and Sarah met they will start to have feelings for each other, something the movie makes plain by the often-exaggerated smiles and gazes.

Directed by Bud Townsend, The Beach Girls is an honest movie in its unpretentious approach that ultimately undermines any attempt at quality. The characters in the movie are exactly what you would expect: unidimensional sex-and-party driven and lacking any profundity. An exchange between two of them exemplifies this lack: both trying to impress the other, he flexing "How do you like these pecks?" while she unzips her top "How do you like these bushels?" Nonetheless, the movie wants to portray at least two of them in a different fashion, that is, Sarah and Scott, who, unlike their attire-adverse friends prefer to spend at least some of their time alone by the beach trying to have deep ruminations about their future.

When it comes to Sarah, deemed a "fifty-year-old teenager" by her friends, she is not entirely convinced of the idea of turning her uncle's house into a sanctuary of hedonism. Neither is her uncle Carl (Adam Roarke), and his reluctance will make Sarah's topless friends brainstorm ideas about changing his mind. It is not difficult to imagine the nature of their ideas. The beautiful Val Kline will utilize her talents to captivate Carl in ways that would make Leonardo DiCaprio jealous. It might be said a story like this takes you back to a simpler time, one where its simplicity might not exhaust its purpose although it surely risks any artistic merit. To think that the script was written by three people is testament that cinema as an art form has definitely improved.

Bud Townsend's feature is one where voyeurs abound. From the gardener (Bert Rosario) to their neighbors, they all want to fulfill their curiosity and explore the many naked bodies. Bare-breasted girls is something the movie shows repeatedly, most of the times being Val Kline and Jeana Keough responsible for this. By reason of said voyeuristic practices, the movie, unsuccessfully, aims at some laughs. Unsuccessfully because the humor, like the plot, suffers from its simplicity: full of bad slapstick, silly jokes, anything that a teen might find funny but an adult with developed taste don't. There is a moment when it breaks the fourth wall, bad choreographed attempts of a fight, a group of coast officials who do not stand out for their brightness, evidences that amount to failed attempts at comedy. Even the dog with proclivities of depriving the ladies at the beach of their tops is not funny. If it is true that the nakedness in the movie abounds, then it is also true that in terms of comedy it is in short supply.

However, despite all its flaws, which are many, The Beach Girls manages to be somewhat entertaining. Light entertainment that does not asks much of its audience. The number of subplots manage to provide a story where something is happening all the time. And the sight of Val Kline will keep you watching, but there is not much more than that.
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