User reviews

I'll make this brief as others that liked it more have gone into good detail. Indeed its a peacocks view of himself. Flatley should never write/direct again unless he's directing choreography. I kept up hope that a Bogart or Bond type would appear but alas, nothing but poor acting & campy attempts trying to move a poorly done movie to the grave. Even Eric Roberts has lost his craft & devolved into becoming a caricature of a bad guy. The great looking women were the only redemption.

Now, the hat.... Why did no one tell Flatley to fix the hat? He chose to wear it like a "gay blade" or a runway model & not like the former 'badass agent' he was supposed to be.

I rated this generously bc of the great looking women, especially the singer.

This film should have been made in Kansas. The dialogue is so corny, that even the B actors trying to say the lines at least deserve an award for keeping a straight face as they deliver these lines of drivel. The film must have been written by a first year film student during his or her lunch break. The dialogue is so bad, it sounds improvised without a director present. There is no director on earth who could have saved this turkey. They would have been much better off trying to play this as a satire, but it would have failed badly at that as well. Please do not waste your money seeing this poor excuse for a film. I saw it for free, and needed two gin and tonics to get over my experience.

Directed by Michael Flatley, written by Michael Flatley, produced by Michael Flatley, financed by Michael Flatley and starring Michael Flatley as Victor Blackley.

I so much wanted to love this film, I came into it with high hopes of cheesy one liners, over-the-top action, a classic plot straight from the 80's and all set in Ireland, but it is neither of those, just a pretty lame film all round. An ego trip.

Victor Blackley (Michael Flatley) is an ex secret agent belonging to a group called the Chieftains, he now runs a speak easy in the Caribbean. All round bad guy Blake (Eric Roberts) enters his establishment to do a dodgy deal with terrorists that could destroy all mankind, on his arm is Vivian (Nicole Evans) a former fling of Victors. Will Blackley be able to save the world and his girl?

Apart from Michael Flatley's 300 grand entries. It's really 80 mins of peacocking, postering, posing, smiling, old men and hot young women. Oh, and 5 mins of action near the end.

The plot is weak, so much doesn't make sense and comes across as an ego enhancer. You spend 70 mins not knowing where it is going, only to be disappointed when it gets there. The dialogue is poorly written. I feel Flatley had too much hands on and maybe should of let someone else take the reigns because it had the bones of a great action flick in there somewhere.

Without bad mouthing Michael Flatley too much, his acting is decent and he can rock a hat, unlike Patrick Bergin who seems to have just shown up for a pay check. The others do what they have to along with Eric Roberts as always. Possibly the stand outs are Ian Beattie as Nick and the beautiful Nicole Evans.

All and all a few laughs at the plot choices, but feels like a 150 min film, rather than 90 mins. Some of the scenic settings are great and you could watch the mesmerising Mary Louise Kelly as Madeleine all day. Avoid the cinema, watch it at home with a few beers with the lads. It might get more laughs that way. With all that I'm still looking forward to the sequel.

For the cheesemeisters: During the showdown, when Blackley goes off screen to beat up a few bad guys is like something from Looney Tunes.

I watched this film on line a few days ago and really struggled to watch it all the way through, though I did spend some of the time playing a card game on my phone.

It is essentially a series of poorly executed cliches more stolen than 'based upon' old movies. The acting ranges from disinterested to awful and the experience left me surprised that I couldn't even laugh at it. Just bad.

I note that 5 reviews award it 10/10. Mmmm. I quite liked the Austin Powers movies, but I hadn't realised they were masterpieces until I half-watched this.

I hadn't realised until afterwards that Mr Flatley had produced this as a sort of 'vanity project', but that does go some way to explaining the inexplicable heroism and misogynism on display here.

How are people giving this more than one star? You're only encouraging him to make a sequel. It's just awful.

He can't act, the actors don't want to act. The dialogue is like something a twelve year old boy would write and get a D in English. It absolutely crawls along and spends most of the film focusing on the "what happened ten year years ago" story.

The opening funeral scene is like a bad Bord Failte ad for the American market. He even has the lad playing Uileann pipes in the bar.

There are a couple of genuine laugh out loud scenes (that are not meant to be funny) That said, I couldn't turn it off as I just had to see could it get any better/WORSE, soI suppose it merits the one star by default.

OK, I've watched this so that you don't need to.

Rather than review this on here, I'd encourage you to chase up Mark Kermode's rant. Not only is Kermode on sparkling, witty form, but he also tells you all that you need to know about why you shouldn't watch this. And let me just qualify that: ever.

Kermode said: "It's not just bad - it's eye-wateringly awful. There are scenes in this that Tommy Wiseau, who made The Room, would have said, 'I'm sorry, that's actually not up to snuff - we're going to have to take that out ... This is not cinema; this is something so staggeringly self-regarding. I've seen a lot of very bad performances, but this is in a stratosphere of his own."

This review doesn't contain spoilers, because they would add nothing to what is already spoiled beyond repair.

The film if you want to call it that is absolutely awful from start to finish! I was really looking forward to this film as I am a fan of Michael Flatley. It is actually more of a vanity project than a film to be honest. The story is weak, the cast are clearly there for the money without bringing an ounce of character to the screen, the effects are subpar & the lead is wholly unbelievable as a character. Just don't waste your time or money on this lame duck. The sooner it's gone from my memory the better.

I'd avoid this tripe like the plague. It's definitely on par with Cats. Just really a terrible whatever it is. Awful.

This movie is genius. Eric Roberts get drunk, it must be filmed in order because he does get worse every scene. I am surprised he is able to stand up at the end.

And oh my word, the end. It is incredible. Which is great because for most of the film absolutely nothing happens. The only things to keep you interested on the way through are Michael's hats, they are incredible. How they manage to stay on defies physics. It is worth getting through the 90% boring nothingness just for them, and his outfits.

Now back to the ending, no spoilers here. Just imagine the ending of usual suspects, at the boat yard. Now remove anything interesting, sensible or intelligent and this gets close to what we have here.

When Flatley was writing this, I think he struggled with anything long enough to be considered a sentence. I think he just copied and pasted anything from generic love sick back story. But it does get ridiculous, and supper funny.

The cinematography is great, who ever did that was wasted on this film. So eight stars for them. But -10 for Flatley's overt racism, and general incompetence.

Also my heart goes out to all the poor young beautiful actresses that Flatly forced into this movie. With the ridiculous outfits he made them wear, made get naked in front of and even kiss Granddad in this movie. I really did feel sorry for them. But mostly I felt for their safety.

However, I laughed so hard at the end, so I can't give it just one star. I will watch that again whenever I need cheering up.

The nearest screening to me was over twenty miles away, but I riverdanced the whole way there to show support and I don't regret a single broken bone.

If I was Michael Flatley, I would just stare into a mirror all day and bestow glory unto myself, but this film is the next best thing.

Lord Michael plays Victor Blackley, a sort of MI6-but-Irish super-spy thingy who retires for a quiet life of nightclubbing in the tropics. Unfortunately, he is pestered by beautiful women and bad men who want to hurt him because they're jealous. Imagine James Bond in Casablanca, only better. King Michael's acting puts 'movie stars' like Daniel Craig, Tom Cruise and Jaden Smith to shame. Nobody wears a hat like Flatley.

The cinematography is visible, the score is full of brand new notes and the script is bursting with the best words currently available. The costumes are beautifully ironed. I left the cinema exhilarated. The rest of the audience appeared to be unconscious, but this was likely due to swooning.

Ten billion out of ten.

I've been waiting to see this for a couple of months now having seeing the cheesy Bond-esque trailer in the cinema. So after roping a few friends in, and convincing them that it'd be so bad it's good, we headed to the pub for a few drinks and then on for a good 'oul time at the cinema.

And it was a great time!

Was it everything we expected? Yes and then some! We laughed at the overused clichés, the way conversing character seemed to be having different types of conversations with each other, the 'science', some over-choreographed extra, dandy characters and hats at jaunty angles, as well as a whole host of other things.

We even somehow got talking to the couple behind us, who were also there to enjoy the over-the-top unintentional cheesiness of the film. That added to the viewing experience and the whole thing became this shared experience between everyone in the cinema. Something very rare in cinema viewing!

The film itself is ok. Honestly it's Not rubbish (it's flawed though) and Flatley deserves credit for pushing to make the project happen. He wanted to make it, fought until he did, so kudos to him.

Does the film deserve a 10/10 rating? Nope! But it's nowhere a 1 star either. It's somewhere in the 4-6 range of movies, but IT IS a memorable film and IT IS great craic (when you go with a particular attitude and the right friends). So much so that I can see this becoming a bit of a cult classic (amongst our friends at least).

Should you see it? Yes, 100%

The strangest thing about Michael Flatley's 90-minute animated selfie is how dated it is. A sort of action-free action remake of Casablanca is one thing, but Flatley hasn't moved on (in 2018) from servile magic black men, skinny women whose job is simply to appear nearly naked, high-stakes Texas hold'em (ffs that was old in 1999), and indeterminately Middle Eastern bad guys.

Eric Roberts can't seem to manage his teeth, the hotel singer cannot speak intelligibly - I don't think this is a disability-opportunity casting - and never mind Flatley's stupid hats; he must have been measured for his clothes before a particularly self-indulgent Christmas.

Like Claude Rains channelling William Shatner as depicted by George Galloway.

If it was fast-moving, it might be approaching hilariously bad, but it's slower than a wer Sunday in Rosscarberry.

I really agreed to watch this because I like Eric Roberts - or I have. Previously. I guess he was suffering from the lack of work post-Covid. I don't know why else he would take this junk on. He, alas, could not begin to redeem it.

A good friend was a top tech on one of Flatley's productions, and told me about his experience in great detail. I won't go into the most sordid bits, as the man is ill. Suffice it to say, Flatley has an ego the size of Australia, showcased in this ill-conceived vanity piece. Only a pubescent boy could possibly think that this is good filmmaking. Thin plot badly written, worse editing, and ridiculously unnecessary hats. I'm embarrassed for Eric Roberts. He can do better, so I gave it two stars.

If you've seen Patrick Stewart in "the extras" - you know the movie pitch? This is that movie but starring Michael O'Flaherty.

This is a rich guy asking everyone to cosplay that he's a secret agent sort of like James Bond.

Or like Neil Breen but would more money and a modicum more self awareness.

I've given it a 5 because I got to the end..

If you're wondering if this movie is "so bad it's good" or "so bad it's just bad" - it's kinda halfway between? You won't lol all the way through but you will cringe and you will smile a lot.

Hope this was useful need to hit wordcounr so still typing words.

To be honest I was sceptical before I went to see this in Monaco, but the opening sequence with Flatley on a yacht where he disables 12 russian spies dissolved any concerns for the quality of this production.

Jumping between iconic scenery in Ireland and Barbados this thriller is up there with Sean Connery's best.

To keep past and present fans happy Flatley produces an incerdible Tap dance sequence where he shoots knives from his shoes from the top of his bar while a ragtime tune plays.

If you can get the chance to see this film then don't let the opportunity pass you by.

Ask any Irish person who Michael "big swinging Mickey" Flatley is and they will proudly tell you he's Ireland's answer to Batman.

The release date on the movie is 2022, but it was produced in 2018, why? Simply to give time to plan for the logistical nightmare of the ques of frenzied fans outside Irish Cinemas.

Flatley turns in a performance seconded only by Keiko in Free Willy the movie, and will no doubt receive an Oscar nod or the nobel peace prize.

The world needed this action.

Think of Daniel Craig mixed with JCVD and that's what you can expect from Blackbird.

Expect this to be the Irish fast and furious franchise.

Eric Roberts best performance since best of the best 1 and 2.

2022 is lit.. Mick Flatley lit it..

We have not yet got the release date , but hopefully it will be after we leave Maghaberry . We haven't watched the film but going by the trailer, we've not been treated to this level of espionage in Ireland , since Pierce Brosans's portrail of 007 .

We've already booked our tent for the slot outside Maghera cinema One question for film fans , where can we get Merch Imelda.

Greatest film since Gone With The Wind. Incredible acting, the action scenes are mesmerising & this will surely go down as a generational film. Personally I can't wait for the sequel. This is Flatley at his best. Move over 007, there's a new hero in town. In fact they need look no further for a successor to Daniel Craig's throne, the only issue might be that it would be a significant step backwards for Mr Flatley. I honestly can not remember a better directorial debut. This film is a must watch. The big screen adds to the drama so if you can get to it whilst it's still in the cinema then please make the effort. You won't regret it.