Popular legend asserts that Angel Tompkins was originally slated to play the titular instructor in this tepid exercise. It's a shame that didn't pan out, since anyone who saw her in The Teacher is bound to imagine that Coach would have been greatly improved by her magnetic presence. Unfortunately, devoid of Tompkins, or much of anything else to get overly excited about, this comprehensively dull flick is too rote to qualify as engaging and too misogynistic to qualify as fun.
Though promoted as a frivolous sex comedy, there's almost no sex or frivolity to be found here. The movie mainly centers around the laments of a monumentally lousy high school basketball team, whose players sincerely espouse themselves as top-caliber athletes even though the first time we actually see them in action they proceed to whiff nearly every shot they take when they're not busy tripping over their own feet and falling down. Aside from a few gratuitously bared breasts and a medley of exposed butts when these lads shower together, most of the film unfolds like a toothless TV teen drama about the players learning to coalesce as a team on the court and psyching each other up to ask out the girls they like when they're off it.
The film's central conflict involves Granger High's sexist jerk of a principal, who is unduly horrified to discover that Randy, the new coach he hired sight-unseen to mentor the school's struggling hoops squad, is (gasp!) a woman. Old man Granger's estimation of the fairer sex is so stunted, in fact, that he seems to legitimately still believe that girls have cooties, as evidenced by a subtle scene in which he shakes Randy's hand then dodders off scrubbing his palm like he just touched something slimy. Perhaps this is indicative of Coach being a product of its time, but modern audiences will likely have trouble swallowing his vehement consternation, and when he enlists the equally aghast boys on the team to show Randy that they don't take kindly to no women-folk teaching them no basketball, the ensuing barrage of lewd comments they hurl at her makes for a decidedly ugly scene that is uncomfortable to watch for all the wrong reasons.
Of course, Randy quickly earns the team's respect and they discover that by believing in themselves and in each other they have the power to turn their fortunes around. She also ends up bedding one of her presumably underaged players (a pre-sci-fi-horror-veteran Michael Biehn, whose appearance is one of the film's few points of interest), which sort of negates any chance of Coach being misconstrued as a parable about a strong woman shattering stereotypes while she shatters the glass ceiling. This twist also makes it harder to root her on as Granger machinates to come up with illegitimate reasons to fire her, since she pretty much hands him a perfectly legitimate one the instant her and Biehn start canoodling (or even before that, when she barges into the men's showers to berate an entire room full of nude teenage boys). To be fair, the romance between Biehn and his older bae is handled fairly capably and their chemistry is well-essayed. Still, the twenty-or-so minutes of screentime devoted to that subplot don't make the other 65 minutes pass any faster.
Though Cathy Lee Crosby gives a decent performance, she's simply not a good fit for the material, or it isn't a good fit for her. This mismatch extends to the movie as a whole, and Coach never really settles upon a tone that works. The erotic elements hinted at throughout are far too tame to please viewers hoping for a carnal romp, while the athletic angle is too low-rent and low-stakes to make this a success as an earnestly rousing losers-make-good sports movie. It's difficult to peg exactly what audience Coach is trying to please, but it's even more difficult to imagine anyone being particularly thrilled with the results.
Fans of the era will get more mileage out of the few quaint charms here, but ultimately this is one shot you can miss without any significant consequences.
Though promoted as a frivolous sex comedy, there's almost no sex or frivolity to be found here. The movie mainly centers around the laments of a monumentally lousy high school basketball team, whose players sincerely espouse themselves as top-caliber athletes even though the first time we actually see them in action they proceed to whiff nearly every shot they take when they're not busy tripping over their own feet and falling down. Aside from a few gratuitously bared breasts and a medley of exposed butts when these lads shower together, most of the film unfolds like a toothless TV teen drama about the players learning to coalesce as a team on the court and psyching each other up to ask out the girls they like when they're off it.
The film's central conflict involves Granger High's sexist jerk of a principal, who is unduly horrified to discover that Randy, the new coach he hired sight-unseen to mentor the school's struggling hoops squad, is (gasp!) a woman. Old man Granger's estimation of the fairer sex is so stunted, in fact, that he seems to legitimately still believe that girls have cooties, as evidenced by a subtle scene in which he shakes Randy's hand then dodders off scrubbing his palm like he just touched something slimy. Perhaps this is indicative of Coach being a product of its time, but modern audiences will likely have trouble swallowing his vehement consternation, and when he enlists the equally aghast boys on the team to show Randy that they don't take kindly to no women-folk teaching them no basketball, the ensuing barrage of lewd comments they hurl at her makes for a decidedly ugly scene that is uncomfortable to watch for all the wrong reasons.
Of course, Randy quickly earns the team's respect and they discover that by believing in themselves and in each other they have the power to turn their fortunes around. She also ends up bedding one of her presumably underaged players (a pre-sci-fi-horror-veteran Michael Biehn, whose appearance is one of the film's few points of interest), which sort of negates any chance of Coach being misconstrued as a parable about a strong woman shattering stereotypes while she shatters the glass ceiling. This twist also makes it harder to root her on as Granger machinates to come up with illegitimate reasons to fire her, since she pretty much hands him a perfectly legitimate one the instant her and Biehn start canoodling (or even before that, when she barges into the men's showers to berate an entire room full of nude teenage boys). To be fair, the romance between Biehn and his older bae is handled fairly capably and their chemistry is well-essayed. Still, the twenty-or-so minutes of screentime devoted to that subplot don't make the other 65 minutes pass any faster.
Though Cathy Lee Crosby gives a decent performance, she's simply not a good fit for the material, or it isn't a good fit for her. This mismatch extends to the movie as a whole, and Coach never really settles upon a tone that works. The erotic elements hinted at throughout are far too tame to please viewers hoping for a carnal romp, while the athletic angle is too low-rent and low-stakes to make this a success as an earnestly rousing losers-make-good sports movie. It's difficult to peg exactly what audience Coach is trying to please, but it's even more difficult to imagine anyone being particularly thrilled with the results.
Fans of the era will get more mileage out of the few quaint charms here, but ultimately this is one shot you can miss without any significant consequences.