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Reviews
Der Kaiser (2022)
Shallow bush-league biopic
Franz Beckenbauer's personal manager Robert Schwan once said "there are only two intelligent men in this world - Schwan am and Schwan pm". Unfortunately, his famous client seemed to believe that he himself was even smarter, reinforced early in his career by some cheeky journalist who coined the nickname "Kaiser Franz". And "Der Kaiser" is another piece of promotional material for a talented footballer whose dark sides, if they are mentioned at all, are treated like they were harmless pranks committed by a lovable rogue. Beckenbauer's shady role in Germany's 2006 world cup bid or his ridiculously ignorant rants in favor of the 2022 Qatar "Qatastrophe" are not part of the plot; it ends with the 1990 world cup in Italy. Overall the movie feels like a succession of cheap comedy skids with questionable casting choices, shameless overacting, chronological errors and way too much hero worshiping.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Another shameless cash grab courtesy of May and Taylor
When Farrokh Bulsara aka Freddie Mercury passed away almost 30 years ago, the band Queen died as well - or did it? No, Brian May and Roger Taylor simply couldn't let go of the gift that keeps on giving, and they have since milked the passing (the so-called "dead star" factor) of their "gay icon" frontman (who never came out publicly) relentlessly. First with a tribute concert "to raise AIDS awareness" (while Mercury and his bandmates had constantly denied rumors about his illness until one day before his death), followed by a seemingly endless stream of "previously unreleased" albums and new variations of greatest hits collections plus live gigs with new lead vocalists. "Too much love will kill you", but too much money apparently won't, right? At least bass guitarist John Deacon displayed some measure of decency when he officially retired after the tribute concert. A biopic was the logical next step in May and Taylor's cash cow approach, and the movie had to be streamlined to be as profitable as possible, which didn't sit well with Sacha Baron Cohen, who had originally been picked to portray Mercury, so he had to "bite the dust".
And for me it's not just the multitude of historical inaccuracies (which have been listed in many reviews all over the media, so I won't mention them here) that ruin the movie, it's also the casting of Rami Malek. Malek looks (or doesn't look) as much like Mercury as a black chihuahua dog would resemble the original Lassie, with Malek's bulging eyes a permanent distraction throughout the flick; and whereas Mercury even in his younger Queen years never looked like a boy and always had an almost malicious sparkle in his eyes, Malek comes across like a little kid with a bad wig (again, no resemblance to the pre-mustache Mercury's hair style) and a ridiculous set of false teeth who's trying to impersonate someone way older and more experienced. Just imagine Malek trying to play Mercury in the middle part of the infamous "I want to break free" video clip, in a tight bodysuit - impossible, right? (But that highly controversial sequence is not part of this movie.)
And while I have to admit that I have really no idea about the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences's criteria when it comes to handing out Oscars, I think that the trophy for the best actor in a leading role should not go to someone who has only delivered some kind of impersonation. Okay, it most likely wasn't Malek's fault that his role didn't require anything deeper, and if he had raised his concerns about his character's sexuality, he would have probably been replaced, just like Sacha Baron Cohen before him.
But May and Taylor never had any intentions to show the world the real Freddie, someone who, according to his biographers and a barrage of youtube documentaries, almost defiantly kept on partying, etc., in spite of the AIDS scare, until the terrible disease eventually caught up with him. So instead of something that could have ended up being art they produced a string of re-enacted music videos for the typical fanboy/-girl, with a long lipsync finale at the end, Queen at Live Aid. My advice: watch the original on youtube, and while you're there, check out some of the Mercury documentaries, they're much better than this shameless cash grab.
Batman & Robin (1997)
Funny and entertaining
I can't help it, but I would take "funny" over "dark" every day and twice on Sundays. I recently purchased "The Dark Knight" on DVD, but in some way I regret it, and I am pretty sure that I will watch "Batman & Robin" again before giving 2008's Batman a re-run. That dark stuff just doesn't cut it for me, I don't care how many people rated "The Dark Knight" 8.9 out of 10. "B&R" is entertaining if you don't take the movie (or maybe yourself) too seriously. And that's what I remember about reading DC comics in the sixties: it was fun. "The Governor" as Mr Freeze alone is worth the price of the DVD (probably now around five dollars), because he takes the term "camp" to levels nobody dared to think of, which is fine by me since he's just a comic book villain. No masterpiece, but certainly not as bad as most of the other reviewers have stated.
Die Bettwurst (1971)
The ultimate trash movie
I have to disagree with Thomas Krueger's great review on one point: Luzi Kryn seems to be well aware of the camera, since she permanently stares right into it! This is the ultimate trash movie; I would recommend it only to people with a good sense of humor. If you like Ed Wood or, even more appropriate, the work of William "One-Shot" Beaudine, this is the flick you simply have to see.
Rosa von Praunheim's "masterpiece" features arguably the poorest acting and camera work, the strangest soundtrack (just one piece of music, lasting for about 15 seconds!), the worst props (easily outdoing even Ed Wood's movies) and the weirdest kidnapping scene ever put on celluloid, with possibly the most awkward noises ever heard in a cinema, courtesy, again, by the ultra-non-talented Luzi Kryn. But let's not forget Luzi's love interest Dietmar Kracht's amazing performance, especially in the later stages of the movie, when he arrives to rescue Luzi from his former friends (one of them apparently U.S.-born, whose lines are an odd mix of English and German), fittingly wearing a cape.
Even if you do not speak or understand German, you should be able to enjoy this wonderfully absurd piece of comedy, although Dietmar's over-the-top Mannheim accent delivers a few more highlights only people who are familiar with German idioms (he sounds like a very slow and distraught version of Boris Becker) might comprehend.