Radiohead
| Article about a person or thing written in the style of that person or thing This article is funny because it is written in the writing style (or what one might imagine to be the writing style) of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorant, cultural philistine, who does not recognise this fact without having it explained to you. |
Introduction[edit | edit source]
Radiohead have been around since 1985, making shed loads of money for corporate suits but with 110% artistic control about what they choose to wear on stage. Thom Yorke sings every Radiohead song except for "Fitter happier", a song sung by guest star Stephen Hawking. Hawking expressed the hope Radiohead would record an audio version of his book A Brief History of Time in return.
The band consists of Thom (Also known by his stage name, thong_defiowncewin//1_yt) Yorke, Thom Yorke_2.0, That guy from Red Hot Chili Peppers and an ensemble of 42 other motherfuckers. However, thong_defiowncewin//1_yt and his successor/desciple/clone/fanboy Thom Yorke_2.0 (whom, surprisingly, are the only two original members of the band) have been downgraded for consistently having their decisions over the band and its members, including claiming to have had 11 different trumpeters in the recording for their Grammy-award winning/"loved by the public" album Kid A (which was later remixed by Some fucker named under the title Kid A Reborn, Remixed, and Reloaded. Even though this album brought the chaotic sounds of Kid A to a mainstream audience, this was still the fucker's worst reviewed and most hated album of his entire career. Score 1 for unnecessary criticism.)
The name Radiohead, however, came all the way from 1983 when a then-teenaged Thom Yorke went on a field trip to a world-famous museum. While there, he encountered a special copy of the Bible. After buying the book for an indistinguishable price, he finally opened up the book to, oh, somewhere in the freaking book. However, he never realized that opening that one book could change his life forever. One of the storys (or however you spell it) in there that he remembered for the rest of his life was one from around the middle of the book. It had stated that Jesus and Satan fought in a game of Twister and, when Satan won, Jesus took the thing nearest to him and threw it at Satan, thus redeeming him to hell. 3 years later, when Thom Yorke was on tour for the band Masculine Family Killas or Thom Yorke and all his Friends and had just summoned his de facto successor Thom Yorke_2.0, Mr. Yorke and founding member Ed Sullivan were playing a game of chess. When Ed Sullivan won with a checkmate, Thom Yorke remembered what to do. He picked up the thing nearest to him (In this case, a boombox that had been placed on the nearby coffee table) and threw it at Sullivan's forehead. The somewhere-around-50 members of the band loved the so-called "trick" that Yorke pulled off, and declared Sullivan and the band as Radiohead.
Outsiders have criticised Radiohead as 'difficult', 'pretentious', 'best advertisement for anti-depression drugs' and 'analogue anoraks' but the band insist their music speak for them. So here goes.
yyyhngbgyhntthy xgdf**introduction[edit | edit source]
>we are phil selway
>thom yorke and colin greenwood
we are in a band
>then theres ed and theres jon: jon is colins brother now
we are in a band
..!!in the nineties we was cool but then we ripped off Aphex Twin!!
>in the deep deep sssleep of the self-assured
we are in a band
>in a weird screwed up song
we're amazed that we survived
our hubris saved our lives
7yuc zhd2**early years///1987[edit | edit source]
please could you stop the noise im tryin to teach a CLASS? we formed our band inside our highschoolmusic room huh dont stare!! when we were kids they called us gits and kicked our balls they took our lunch money and gave us quite a fall huh dont stare!! nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnature made us look pretty ugly b a ld i n g w h i n y s q u i n t y l i t t l e f a i r i e s “you dont remember “why dont you remember our names?
- ]!!warning!! song is too long truncating for radio edit**
dxoigmn**$$$$uccess////pablohoney1992////thebends1995.[edit | edit source]
fitter wealthier more productive
comfortable
not sucking so much
regular play on the radio (3 times a day)
getting on better with your hypocrite college contemporary audience
at ease
playing well (no more local bar concerts and no more name-calling)
a better songwriter
a nicer car (groupie smiling in back seat)
touring lots (with REM)
still paranoia
careful to all producers (always following orders)
keep in contact with old favourites (playing creep on command)
will frequently check account at (moral) bank (tons of money)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity for the cameras
on fridays recording session
(starting to compose with piano instead of guitar)
get drunk (also on fridays)
still afraid of cars
and airplanes
writing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
writing so childish
at a faster pace
quicker and more complicated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but self-absorbed)
an empowered & informed member of Oxfam (pragmatism and idealism!)*]
etc, etc,
- ]syntax error
- ]more syntax error
OK Computer////1997??id6890[edit | edit source]
- sung to the tune of "Karma Police"
karma police arrest this band they ripped me off singing bout computers and bout crashing aeroplanes. karma police arrest this man his whiny singing is making me depressed &he just took our m0ney. tHis is what you get. tHis is what you get. tHis is what you get when you spend on us. karma police ive given all ican its not enough ive given all i can but theyre still milking b-sides. tHis is what you get. tHis is what you get. tHis is what you get when you spend on us. (phew for a minute there i had to ralph)
ocmcocmcocmk**kid a////2000[edit | edit source]
- sung to the tune of "No Surprises"
our hearts were full up like a landfill got bored with playing music. started playing noise. we were so tired and unhappy. tired of our old sound. we searched. searchedfornovelty. we found noisy synthesizers. a wonky beatbox.+ you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us yeah. silence! silence! here's a final song with final whacked out brass band you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us, yeah. such a shitty song and such a shitty album. you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us. you pretended that you liked us yeah
2.5Amnesssiac(1)///Half of nothing, nothing of halfs/////2001[edit | edit source]
- sung to the tune of "All I Need"
>We're the next act. You will hear our sound.
>We're the best thing
our computerized music's so profound.
>Singing 'bout knives out and
some distorted static sound
We're all you need. We're all you need.
You're in the middle of our picture. Buying our CDs.
>It's all wrong. It's all right.
>It's all wrong. It's all right.
>Wait how could something so wrong
be so right?
>It's so wrong. It's so right.
hail to the thief*52365435737474374374374733376437564375697569700[edit | edit source]
- sung to the tune of "The Tourist"
i guess we've seen the top and fallen. nowhere else to go. awesome, then we got too clever, our fanbase would know. sometimes I get over-smart, that's when you see red. they ask me where the hell i'm going?? i'm john cage the second hey man slowdown. idiots slow down.
1% Rainb0wszz*544338745787878648647865453ta1ksinmaths153[edit | edit source]
RADIOHEAD HAVE MADE A RECORD.
SO FAR, IT IS NOT ANY GOOD.
- sung to the tune of "High And Dry"
Two discs in a set I bet you think that’s pretty clever don’t you boy We’re without a record label watching as our profits quickly drop You’d kill yourself to buy the discbox; you’d kill yourself to ever pay for that We broke another rule; We're turning into something that we fought So please pay high Don’t leave us dry The songs on here are less depressing, but that really isn’t saying much The album feels like broken pieces, the songs here simply do not measure up We’re the ones who'll rip you when we make you scrounge and pay the forty pounds We might as well just spit at you; you will be the one screaming out So please pay high Don’t leave us dry It’s the worst thing that we’ve ever done; the worst thing that we’ve ever, ever done It’s the worst thing that we’ve ever done; our good years really have since gone away
nsdfhsdfj***sBmiL//Fo..gnIk_ ehT/4578457/ _/*2o11/[edit | edit source]
- sung to the tune of "Reckoner"
YOU CAN'T PLAY IT MORE THAN ONCE IT BRINGS YOU NO PLEASURE THOM MUST BE TO BLAME FOR THIS RECORD'S LAME DISTRACTORS DARE NOT LET JONNY PLAY DEDICATED TO MEDIOCRITY BECAUSE WE RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR ROCK SONGS THE KING OF FAIL BECAUSE WE RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR ROCK SONGSS R E C O R D L A B E L S TAKE US WITH YER IT'S YORKE'S NEW SOLO ALBUM
ggyf**discography[edit | edit source]
- Enriqué Syrup (1993)
- Decompression Sickness (1995)
- Alright IBM (1997)
All That You Can't Leave BehindCommerical Suicide (2000)- Parachutes (2000)
- Commercial Suicide, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo (2001)
A Rush Of Blood To The HeadHail to the Thief. ('Cuz Thom Stole Jonny's 'H'.) (2003)- In Gaynbows (2007)
- Oxo-degradable Failure (2011)
- A Moon Sized Stool (2016)
see also*grr.arg[edit | edit source]
- The Real Radiohead
- Pitchfork media
- Phil Selway
- Commonly Misunderstood Radiohead Lyrics
- Untunes:Creep
- John Cage
