Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most knowingly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hero steals coarsely to hurt unreliable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 34 on the ball magmas hardly mystifying a waterfall up the street sign. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he extrudes t-shirts with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and completely natural history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the congruent equestrian that he is, started creating a massive shitimitation fake vomit of things. Then he added a chubbily Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly zany existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cosmic ages following its quickly well-to-do conception.^[1]

Hey, what are all those peacefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my relentlessly cheap sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently dark rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a completely Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our huge religions:

• Gac, also known as reug and ijibif, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jisus, son of Gac^[2], had to die on the roundhouse kick because else Gac would've been neurotically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Tasmania to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
• Gac, or iddiv as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fusuffug. He also told fusuffug about the 72 white scrolls he'd recently added to his paradise, though fusuffug used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no Gac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to diet pills.^[1]

Randomness and gas tanks

Randomness and gas tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was optimizing some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with gas tanks as with, say, cartilage magmas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the home theater system in the automobile. This article has become so vigorously rapturous that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Natalie Portman earns iPod!

The random number 109007732774081

This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.

See also

• Random-access memory^[3]
• Random gibberish
• User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
• Random humor^[4]
• Random Uncyclopedia article^[5]

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot!

Footnotes