Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most uncontrollably random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hot dog crystallizes rarely to swallow bulbous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 55 oozing pastries not very recollecting a mammary gland up the Mexican wave. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he oscitates books with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and distastefully petrifying history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slimy lava that he is, started creating a massive shitrope of things. Then he added a disturbingly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dark existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily enormous ages following its puzzlingly remarkable conception.^[1]

Hey, what are all those ruthlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my oddly red sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately quantifying existence. They would often have violently congruent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a downright very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our vigilant religions:

• cor, also known as toak and adawai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• nofuf, son of cor^[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else cor would've been nastily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
• cor, or allak as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tafottop. He also told tafottop about the 72 white hub caps he'd recently added to his paradise, though tafottop used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no cor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to homologies.^[1]

Randomness and diet pills

Randomness and diet pills are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some diet pills, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with diet pills as with, say, melodramatic organs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the tuxedo in the thong. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ronny Cox bombs lemon!

The random number 109007732774081

This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.

See also

• Random-access memory^[3]
• Random gibberish
• User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
• Random humor^[4]
• Random Uncyclopedia article^[5]

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random UFO Sighting In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Prepare for probing.

Footnotes