Chapter Text
I awoke to a dark and unfamiliar room. Panicked, I desperately felt around for a weapon, before suddenly finding something warm and rectangular. A light! It was my phone. The flashlight slowly revealed the room around me. Plain white walls, an eerie plush sitting on a dresser in front of me. On the floor by the bed, someone was sleeping… Star!
I realized where I was, Star’s room. I had fallen asleep here by accident when we were talking the night before. I checked my phone for the time, it was around four in the morning. Shutting off the flashlight, I pulled up the covers and turned over. I stared at the Instagram and Snapchat icons on my screen. I wasn’t sure why I still had them. Ever since Star and I escaped that first game, Silver had all but bricked all three of our phones. No WiFi, no cell service, no GPS. Not even the company who made these phones could find them now. I mostly used it to play rhythm games, it wasn’t good for much else.
I heard a shuffle come from behind me. Star was standing up, stretching.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” They asked me.
“...Shouldn’t you?” I retorted, staring at them.
“I, uh… I sleep light. I tend to wake up every two hours or so.”
“What do you do when you wake?”
“Check to make sure the door’s locked, check any attached closet or bathroom to see if there’s anyone hiding in them. And I make sure all my weapons are in the right place.” They explained, quickly. Walking around the room, as they did.
“...Every night?”
“Just about. The possibility of being killed at literally any moment doesn’t make it easy to sleep.”
“...Oh… Right… sorry…”
“Huh? pff No, it’s okay.” They sat back down on the floor.
“Y-you can take the bed, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor…” I really didn’t want to go up to my room to be all alone.
“I can sleep anywhere… on the floor as easily as on a bed. You can’t. It makes way more sense for me to sleep here.” I hated how much sense they were making.
“Fine… You’re sure your back won’t hurt?”
“Yes,” they chuckled slightly, before laying back down on the ground, “You should get back to sleep.”
The next time I woke, it was to the smell of something sweet in the oven. A much nicer way to wake up than the burnt bacon from yesterday. The floor beside me was barren, Star must’ve gotten up before me. That was enough to rouse me out of bed, stretching slightly before pushing through the door.
“Do we have to go over this every time?” I heard Star’s voice coming from the kitchen.
“I want to be sure you know the plan.” Mom’s voice was set around the same place.
“This is, what? My 15th… 16th game?”
“14th,” mom responded.
“Fine. 14. 14 times I’ve walked four hours to the train. And knowing my fucking luck, it’s almost always late. Several minutes late. Sometimes hours.”
“When are you leaving?”
“4:30ish.”
I slowly made my way out of the room, trying not to interrupt them.
“That’s right around sundown,” mom sighed, “when’s your flight?”
“9:20 tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t like the idea of you leaving in the dark.” I inched closer, ducking into the bathroom.
“Well, you could just drive me.”
“You know why I can’t.”
Star muttered something I was too far away to hear.
“We’re safe here! Ray’s safe here! They can’t find us!” Mom shouted, “I can’t risk it for your convenience, Star. I’m sorry.”
“Ugh whatever. You probably woke him with that, anyway. So we should shut up, since you don’t want him to know how bad it all is.” Now it was Star’s turn to sigh.
“He’s a kid, he needs to be sheltered from this!”
“So am I. He’s– he’s only a year younger than me, why the fuck don’t I get to be sheltered?!”
“Because you’re the one who made the deal.”
The silence that followed was deafeningly painful. I could only imagine what was going through Star’s head, but it couldn’t have been good.
“I… Fuck you.” Star said, finally, before rushing back to their room. I waited a few more minutes before emerging from my hiding spot.
“Good morning!” I said, as cheerfully as I could manage.
“Good morning, Ray…” Mom replied, sounding exasperated. “I hope we didn’t wake you.”
“Huh?” I acted confused, “What do you mean?”
“Star and I were just… nevermind. I made cookies!” She smiled. “Sorry they’re gluten free but… y’know.”
I giggled, “Of course gluten free’s okay. You made them, you should get to eat them too.”
“And I had to taste-test the batter.” She seemed as if she was moving on from the fight with Star, that made me feel more relaxed. “Here, these are the least burnt.” She handed me a plate with Santa Claus’ face on it. It always made me laugh to see. I pulled a cookie from the top of the pile, it was a little dry (the way gluten free things normally are) but otherwise they were really good.
“Where did you get the recipe?” I asked.
“My mom…” she replied, tearing up slightly, “These were the cookies we’d put out for Santa every Christmas. Even after we were old enough to know he wasn’t real, we’d still put them out. And then we’d split them up and eat them as a family… Now that you two are a part of this family, I want to share it with you too…”
“Thank you… I love you, mom.” I ran over and gave her the biggest hug I could manage.
“I love you too, hun.” I could feel her tears soaking into my pajama shirt. “Hey… They aren’t gonna want to talk to me… but could you bring Star some cookies as an apology. We… we had a fight earlier, and I think we both said some things we regret… Despite what they might think… I really do love them.”
“I think they know, mom. They’re just scared…” I reassured her.
“You’re probably right… No one warned me raising two teenagers would be so hard,” she chuckled, “I wish I could protect them… God, I couldn’t… if they died…” her tears started coming faster, “Th-they can’t die, Ray…”
“They won’t… they’re strong. I believe in them. You should believe in them too.” I tried my hardest to keep the quiver from my voice. She needed me to be strong.
“...Y-you’re right. They’ve survived 13… they can do another…” She released her grip around me and took a step back, “I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to be the one keeping you afloat. I shouldn’t be…”
“It’s okay, I promise. You don’t have to be strong all the time.” I did my best to keep a smile, “You should be the one to bring them the cookies and apologize.”
“No… no, they wouldn’t– They wouldn’t bother to hear me out. It really does have to be you…”
“...okay.” I wasn’t quite sure that was true, but I wasn’t gonna argue. I grabbed the plate and walked down the short hall to Star’s room.
“Who is it?” They asked after I awkwardly knocked on their door with the plate.
“It’s Ray.”
A moment later they opened the door, eyes slightly red. “What’s that?” They motioned to the cookies.
“A peace offering from mo– Silver… A peace offering from Silver. She’s really sorry.”
“Yeah, sure she is… hm, uh… wh-whatever just c-come on in!” They motioned me inside. I put the cookie plate next to Glamrock Bonnie and sat on the bed.
“She uh– couldn’t come herself huh?” They asked.
“She thought you wouldn’t listen to her if she did…”
“Well I uh, can’t really say she’s wrong there hehe. But she shouldn’t be using you as her messenger y’know.”
“It’s okay, I really don’t mind. I just wish you two wouldn’t fight every time you talk.”
“Hey, talk to her about that. Listen, I am not the one making it a fight.”
“Hm… It’s only a few hours until you leave, yeah?”
“4:30, yeah”
I frowned, frustrated, “How long do you think you’ll be gone.”
“Ray… it’s never the same. But given this is a ‘Christmas special’ I have to assume Monokuma’s gonna… y’know try to stretch it out. I… I don’t expect to be back until January. And that really depends on how long it takes people to…” Their voice trailed off.
“Okay! No, that’s okay! I just, there’s something I need to do before you go then.”
“Hm? What?”
“You’ll see,” I teased, grabbing a cookie off the plate. “You should really have one, they’re really good.”
“Agh, damn, you win again!” Star exclaimed, finishing another round of one of the rhythm games I had on my phone.
“Don’t try to compete with the Ultimate Rhythm gamer,” I laughed. Their face drooped slightly.
“Oh, are you okay?”
“Um yeah, I just… C-can I have some time alone? I’m really sorry”
“O-of course!”
“S-sorry I just… I don't- I dono, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I promise. I-it’s okay.” A pit opened in my stomach as the door closed behind me. What had I done wrong?
I walked up the stairs to my room, thoughts racing. Did I say something wrong? Did it seem like I was bragging? Oh god, were they trying to get me to leave for a while…?
I plopped myself down on my bed, and simply stared at the wall in front of me. VKei band poster peeling to my left. Fuck… I probably ruined their last day here for this year… I looked around my room, finally finding the present I had planned for them. It was gonna take a little more work, but I could finish it before they left.
In the attic attached to my room there were dusty boxes and old wrapping paper from past Christmas’. They were perfect for the gift I was getting them.
“Ray! Come down, say goodbye to your brother.” I heard mom call up to me… it was time.
“…make sure you keep your coat zipped.” She was advising them as I came down the stairs.
“Star—“
“Ray, I’m… I’m sorry we didn’t get as much time to hang out as you’d hoped. I’ll make it up to you next time, I promise.” They looked like they were on the verge of tears.
“It’s okay, I promise! Here, I made you something!” I shoved the wrapped gift into their hand.
“O-oh, uh, thank you!”
“Don’t open it until Christmas!” I warned them.
“Uh— okay!” They chuckled.
I wrapped them up in my biggest hug, “I love you so much! I can’t wait to see you in 2025.”
“I… I love you too, Ray.” They hugged me so tight it was hard to breathe, tears falling on my back. That seemed to be happening a lot lately.
After probably five minutes of hugging, mom interrupted, “Ray… please go back upstairs. There’s something I need to discuss with your brother alone.”
I looked at her, but her face was very serious and I didn’t want to risk it. So with one final quick hug goodbye, I went upstairs, and pretended to go into my room.
Putting my ear to the floor directly above them, I could hear what they were saying.
“Stay.” Mom said firmly.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You know why!” Star sounded exasperated, “They’ll– Monokuma will kill you, he’ll kill Ray!”
“He won’t be able to—“
“He killed our fucking parents, Silver. He can kill you.” They were getting louder.
“He can’t find us. You’ll be safe here. The fucking government can’t find us, there’s no way one serial killer can.”
“Serial killer’s a fucking understatement—“
“You get what I fucking mean, Star!” I flinched at the sound of her yelling.
“But I don’t think you get what I mean. He’s not some guy who goes around murdering people. He’s invisible to the police. He get so many kids killed, and nothing happens but goofy ahhh fucking investigations. You think I haven’t considered it? Going to the cops? Telling my story? They can’t do shit. I don’t know how you’re fucking immune, but he’s done something to keep people from knowing, Silver. And if he can do that, who knows what else! He can! Fucking do!
There was silence for a moment before mom spoke again, “So… what? If he decides to kill you you’re just fucked?”
“He’s not going to kill me…”
“Why the hell not?”
“He needs me...”
“What stupid fucking delusion has you believing that?”
“...he accepted the deal.”
“To play with you until he’s bored. He’s a fucking sociopath–”
“Fuck you! He was interested in me from the first game you fucking– alcoholic bitch—”
“From the first game?” Mom Silver was eerily calm.
“YEah, he saw how fucking cool and together I was and gave me some sick ass exposition. Blah blah blaH the first killing game– He chose me to know that. Why would he do that if I wasn’t important ?”
“...heh. You’re… a fucking idiot.”
“You’re one to talk–”
“God, that’s, like, manipulator 101,” Silver laughed darkly.
“Well, you’d know, wouldn’t you? Miss– edgy bitch”
“I’ve been manipulated before, yeah.”
“Not what I mean– you! The shit you’ve been doing to Ray. Getting in his head and fucking around, making him think it’s his fault you drink, his fault you hit him.” N-no… that is my fault!
“You. Have. No. Clue. What. You’re. Talking. About.”
“Teach me then.”
“It was one fucking mistake! It only happened because you weren’t here. At one of the fucking killing games. You want to keep it from happening again? Fucking stay.”
“Oh? You’re threatening my brother to keep me here against my will? Wait ‘till I tell him, he’ll be so fucking happy, won’t he? Heyyyyy Rayyy–”
“Shut the fuck up!” I heard rustling sounds, but not much else for a few moments, until… “Just… please. I need you to stay.” Silver’s voice was weak, I could barely hear it.
“All we do is fight… and our fighting hurts Ray. I don’t… I don’t care if you hate me, but don’t do this to him. If I stay… we’ll just be miserable, and then we’ll die. Monokuma will find us… or maybe we’ll kill each other first.”
“...you asked me where I got the money from.”
“Don’t—”
“Just…” I heard a shaky breath come from beneath me. “You should know, okay… I go out to bars and… some of the guys– occasionally girls, but mostly guys… I… I take care of their… issues…”
“I desperately didn’t need to know that my ‘mom’ is an actual whore. Why… why the hell did you tell me that?”
“You need to know how much I give up for him… Can’t you give up a little too?”
“Tryna guilt trip my ass, huh? What else is new? Also, can’t I give up a little too? Can’t I give up a little too?! Excuse me?! DO YOU KNOW THE BULLSHIT I DO TO KEEP US ALIVE?!” Their shouts shook the floor beneath me, “I. Have given up. Everything for US . EVERYTHING! Given up on EVERY dream I had– Remember back– Fuck– I can’t even remember how fucking long it’s been– When I talked about my hopes for the future? Everything I wanted to do?! I fucking CAN’T anymore! WHEN I TOOK THAT DEAL I GAVE UP MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE. Monokuma killed me , or– At least the me you knew… the me you fucking loved, you self-centered FUCK–”
“That’s rich coming from–”
“Shut the fuck up! I'm keeping the two of you alive. I AM THE ONE. KEEPING THE TWO OF YOU ALIVE! I gave up my life keeping you two fucking alive! FOR FUCKS SAKE, SILVER! Don’t you understand at all? Anymore? Can’t you… Agh no, shut the fuck up! SO YEAH, I WAS GONNA GET MYSELF KILLED FOR RAY, BY THE WAY? So– Sorry– all your ass has done is gone out and fucked people apparently so uh, imagine .”
…she’s gonna hit them.
“Fine, if you know better than me–”
“I fucking do!” ‘Star’ cut her off. …who are they…?
“If you really believe that… Then you can live alone…” What is she…
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“If you walk out that door… don’t bother coming back.” …no… No! NO!
“...fine. Have a nice fucking life. Good luck without me.” NO, Don’t! DON'T LEAVE ME! STOP!!!! I ran down the stairs, but the door shut before I could reach the bottom.
“Where did they go? What did you do?!” I shouted at Silver.
“I did what I had to…” she said grimly.
“BRING THEM BACK! FUCKING GET THEM–”
“SHUT UP!” I froze… her voice sending waves of terror through me. “They aren’t your brother anymore… They died in one of the games. That thing? It isn’t Star. It’s something… wrong. Something… killer.”
I stood in silence as she walked from the door, unable to understand… Why…? What went wrong? …what did I do wrong…?