Archive of Our Own ^beta

December

Luke had never particularly cared for the holiday season. Winter was drab and cold, he much preferred the summer weather when he could go out topless, showing off his muscular physique like any other guy. That's all he wanted, he wanted to celebrate his gender without it always being attached to the fact he was trans. He wasn't ashamed of his identity, but most of the time he explained it to people it became all they saw. He was just as complicated and unique as anyone else, yet he was often reduced down to little more than being Luke, the trans guy.

There were, of course, people who celebrated him for who he was beyond his gender; mostly his best friend, Emily, and his boyfriend, Spencer. The two of them were Luke's own personal hype squad. They were always there to support him and protect him from anyone who tried to tear him down.

It'd been the three of them against the world for so long, Luke was still adjusting to having more than just his two closest friends on his side nowadays.

Ever since Emily began dating not one, but two, women from the BAU, she'd bridged the gap between her best friend trio, and her partners' team. It was funny, out of all the members of the BAU the one person Luke had spent the most time around wasn't one of Emily's girlfriends, but rather the BAU's tech analyst, Penelope Garcia, simply because they were part of the spin class he led at the gym where he and Emily worked. Actually, it was Luke's openness about being trans that led to Penelope coming out as nonbinary themself about six months ago.

Luke had met Emily's partners in passing, but tonight would be the first time everyone from both sides of her social groups were coming together. Which was probably the only reason Luke agreed to come to the holiday potluck at all. Spencer tried to get out of it too, though his reason wasn't because he was a Scrooge like his boyfriend, he actually liked the winter holidays a lot, he just didn't enjoy big social gatherings. Luke dutifully reminded his boyfriend of how much tonight meant to Emily and beyond that, if he decided that if he had to attend the festive function, then so did Spencer.

"Okay, I'm thinking we stay long enough to eat and have a couple of drinks, then we can go," Luke suggested as they drove to Tara's house.

Spencer groaned. "That seems like too long. What if we just drop off the food, hug Emily, and run away?"

"Spence," Luke said, his tone a gentle warning. "From the way Emily talks about Tara and JJ, I get a sense that they're both going to be in her life for a long time to come. They're important to her. And I'm not saying you have to be best friends with them, but we should at least make an effort to show our support."

"Yeah, fine," Spencer replied. "I admit, after everything that happened with Linda, it's really good to see her happy again," he sighed in resignation, "So, how many people are coming to this thing?"

Luke did a quick tally in his head based on what Emily had mentioned. "Uh, not too many. I think it's just us, Emily's trio, and Penelope. That's the person in my spin class that I told you about."

"Oh right, the super extroverted energetic one," Spencer muttered. "Remind me to hide from her."

"Them," Luke corrected. "Penelope's pronouns are they/them," he reached over an tousled Spencer's hair, "And I'm sure you'll be fine, pretty boy."

"Do not call me that!" Spencer glared as his boyfriend as he pulled the sun visor down to use the mirror. He smoothed his messy curls the best he could.

Luke chuckled at his objection. He purposely used the nickname to get a rise out of his partner and it had worked as intended. After finding out that the man Emily was subjecting to physical torture (personal training) in an effort to eliminate what she labelled as his 'unimaginable amount of misogynistic cishet bullshit' was one in the same as the jock who used to call Spencer 'pretty boy' at Caltech, Luke had taken every opportunity to tease his boyfriend about it.

His own experiences with Derek were limited to running into him a couple of times at the gym, and grabbing drinks with him and Penelope after spin class one night, but that particular evening was abruptly cut short when news broke that Will had broken up with JJ.

Other than that, Luke only knew Derek by reputation. Emily had plenty to say about the man who first hit on her with the line 'you're Da Vinci level sculpted' and after realising the correlation that Spencer had gone to college with him, he'd also shared stories about Derek's inflated ego.

Not that he'd admit it, but Luke secretly found Derek intriguing, not to mention, extremely attractive. He was the definition of a 'manly man', both in his strong physique and his personality. He was the type of guy Luke dreamed of becoming one day when he first came out as trans. Now that he'd had top surgery and been on HRT for three and a half years, outwardly, Luke had achieved that dream. His confidence, however, was lightyears away from Derek Morgan's. Though the more he heard about the other man, the more Luke was starting to think he was better off without that kind of cocky, egotistical, attitude.

"Okay, let's compromise," Luke decided. "Stay for food, but not drinks. That way you don't have to socialise for long before we duck out."

"Deal," Spencer agreed. "I just hope this type of thing doesn't become the norm with Emily. I love her, but if she tries to make me come to get-togethers all the time now that she's got these super outgoing girlfriends, I'm going to have to put my foot down."

"I'm sure she'll understand if you need to find a quiet place to hide tonight."

"Luke, that would be fine if we were at her apartment, but we're not going to her apartment," Spencer argued. "I've never been to Tara's before. There are certain social scripts I have to follow at a new place, especially in a large gathering. It's not like I can just go snoop around her house to find a room to sit in if I get overwhelmed."

Luke resisted the urge to point out that six people was far from a 'large' gathering. "Listen, whenever you decide you've had enough, just let me know. And we'll go, okay?"

"But you said we have to stay and eat before we leave."

"Spence, your wellbeing is far more important to me than staying for a certain amount of time," Luke replied. "You know that. You're always my priority. I love you."

"Love you too." Spencer smiled softly as Luke's reminder helped steady his nerves a little bit.

They'd been casually dating again for about a month, making this their third attempt at a relationship together. The first time they dated, Luke had only just realised he was trans and he'd been grateful to have a boyfriend who not only accepted that revelation, but who also supported him through it. However, figuring out his sexuality in regards to his new gender led Luke down avenues he hadn't previously considered. At that point, he'd never dated a woman and upon deciding he might be bi, he broke up with Spencer in order to pursue that side of himself.

During that period, Luke also started working at the gym and subsequently met Emily. He'd been instantly drawn to her and he'd often made a fool of himself by trying to show off his strength as a means of flirtation. Of course, he quickly learned she wasn't in the least bit interested in him in any romantic capacity, seeing as she was a lesbian.

And it turned out, she wasn't the only one who was gay. After a string of disastrous dates with women, Luke realised he definitely wasn't bisexual. He was only interested in other men, which made sense seeing as he'd only ever been attracted to guys prior to his transition as well.

Eventually he got back together with Spencer and they dated for over a year before breaking up again. Although, even when they weren't dating they were still best friends. That factor was also why their romantic relationship never felt difficult. They already loved each other and understood each other deeply, so it wasn't surprising they kept gravitating back to each other.

Luke and Spencer's relationship was comforting to each of them for separate reasons. For Luke, it meant he didn't have to worry he'd be rejected for his identity, nor did he need to fret about having to explain his body when it came to sex. Spencer's comfort stemmed from the security of dating someone who knew all about his autism and never judged him, nor admonished him for it. Plus, dating Luke on and off was way easier than Spencer being forced to go out and meet new people on his own accord.

"We'll leave whenever," Luke repeated as they walked up to Tara's building.

Even if they hadn't been given the apartment number, the wreath on the door decorated with glittery pride flags sort of gave it away. Emily answered when they knocked, a broad grin stretched across her face as she took in her friends' selections of ugly sweaters. Luke's was all black, save for the words 'Bah Humbug' written in red.  Spencer's was blue with rows of Cybermen, Daleks, and Weeping Angels, and in the center was the TARDIS itself.

"Verrrryyyy good choice," Emily praised as she hugged him, "But mine's better." She too was donning a Doctor Who themed sweater, but the TARDIS on hers actually lit up. She did a proud spin to show off the full design. "Tara got it for me!"

"It's awesome," Luke said. "She clearly knows you well."

"I know it's only been a few months, but I'm trying my best," Tara said, wrapping her arms around Emily's waist as she joined the group. "I heard attending a holiday party isn't really something the two of you would usually enjoy, so I'm humbled that you've come by anyway."

Luke eyed Emily in slight embarrassment that she would have told her partner something that could have been perceived as a social faux pas. "Uh, yeah. Well, it's good to have a chance to spend more time with all of you," he gently elbowed Spencer who hadn't said a word since Tara walked up, "Right, Spence?"

"Uh, yep, thanks for the invitation," he muttered, staring at the ground. He abruptly held out a grocery bag, "We brought snacks."

"Great, thanks," Tara replied. She ushered a hand forward to welcome them further into her apartment. "Okay, so pretty much everything's in the kitchen, feel free to make yourself a plate. We set up a designated chill zone, if anyone needs to have some quiet time, second door on the left," Spencer finally looked up at that, more in surprise than anything else and Tara winked at him knowingly, before continuing, "Plenty of seating in the living room. Bathroom is on the left in the hallway. If you two need anything else, let me know."

The living room wasn't spacious by any stretch, but it had been rearranged to allow for extra seating. Tara had multiple bookshelves, cluttered with equal stacks of books and video game cases. There had been an attempt to make the space festive, a bit of tinsel, a string of lights, but other than the fact it was late December, the decor could have just as easily been part of Tara's personal styling choice.

"Oh, you're here!" Penelope cheered as they jumped up to greet them. They threw their arms around Luke and gave him a huge hug, then offered a semi-serious handshake to Spencer, "And you must be the one and only Spencer Reid! I'm so excited to finally meet you!"

He tentatively shook their hand. "Uh, nice to meet you too....Penelope?"

The person in front of him was wearing the single wildest dress he'd ever seen in his life. The top was a red satin bodice complete with white fur trim, but the real shock was the skirt. From the waist down, the dress became a full-on Christmas tree. A collection of boughs from an artificial tree had been fastened together to create the illusion and each bough was adorned with tinsel and ornaments. The look was further accessorised with an antler headband, mini-wreath earrings, and a pair of green and red glittery high heels which seemed to have an actual snow globe inside the wedged heel. It was as if Santa's Workshop had been magically transformed into a human.

"Oh, duh! Yes, I'm Penelope Garcia, or PG, or Pen, or Garcia, whatever you want to call me," they replied. "I'm both the tech analyst and the brightest, shiniest, most festive personality at the BAU."

"Yeah, you really are," Tara chuckled.

"Where's JJ?" Spencer asked upon realising only one of Emily's partners were present.

"She's on the way," Emily said. "In the meantime, do you want a drink? Food? A reason to leave the conversation, perhaps?"

He shot her a pointed stare for drawing attention to the fact he was already feeling overwhelmed, but he also accepted her invitation and followed her to the kitchen.

"Penelope, I have to say, I've never seen something quite like...that," Luke noted as he motioned towards their outfit.

"I know it's supposed to be an ugly sweater party or whatever, but I don't own anything I'd deem as ugly," Penelope explained. "I just love Christmas, it's my favourite holiday!"

"Wouldn't have guessed," Tara teased. "How about you, Mr. Bah Humbug? Do I even need to ask for your opinion on the holidays?"

Luke sat down on the couch, throwing an arm on the back of it to get comfortable. "Not really my thing. No one to celebrate with, so that kinda makes holidays unexciting."

"Well, not any more," Penelope said. "Now that we're all going to be friends, you'll never have to spend a single holiday alone ever again!"

He laughed at the thought. "Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Yeah, that's yet to be determined," Tara replied sarcastically as she took a pull from her beer. "Nevertheless, like I said, I'm glad you and Spencer could come tonight. Though I will admit, it's kind of nerve-wracking for me."

"How so?" Luke questioned.

Tare exhaled with a resolute shrug. "Well, considering how close you two are to Em, it kind of feels like getting to know her family for the first time."

"From what Emily has told me about you, I don't think you need to worry, Tara," he smiled, tipping his head in acknowledgement. Emily wasn't in contact with her biological family, so in a lot of ways Tara's observation was correct. Luke didn't have a relationship with his family either, they'd basically disowned him when he came out as trans, so he'd gone out and found himself a family, namely Emily and Spencer, both of whom loved him unconditionally. The three of them definitely acted like siblings in both the way they teased each other and in their fierce protectiveness of one another.

There was a knock on the door and Tara's face lit up. "Ah, that must be Jen."

Luke and Penelope continued chatting as Tara went to answer the door, but upon hearing an unmistakable boisterous laugh down the hall, the pair's conversation stalled as they exchanged perplexed looks.

"I didn't know Derek was coming," Luke said.

Emily and Spencer returned to the living room and she handed Luke a beer as she sat next to him with an annoyed huff. "Neither did I...."

Tara rolled her eyes upon re-entering with Derek and another black woman a few steps behind her. "Look who decided to come to the party."

"Crash the party is more like it," Emily replied flatly. "Derek, what are you doing here?"

"Aw, come on, Emily! It's the holidays," Derek grinned. "The more the merrier, right? Everybody, this is Savannah," he pointed to each person as he named them, "Savannah, this is Emily...Tara...Penelope...and...," he broke into laughter as his eyes landed on Spencer, "Holy shit! Is that you, pretty boy?! Savannah, this kid was at Caltech with me, he's a genius or something, barely seventeen when I knew him."

"Spencer, my name is Spencer."

"Right, right, sorry, my bad," Derek replied, either not catching the frustration in Spencer's tone, or just choosing to ignore it as he continued, "And this right here is Luke Alvez, who can apparently bench more than me, if you can believe it."

Luke had gone silent as soon as Derek and Savannah entered the room. He was focusing down at his drink, face slightly tilted away from the couple as he replied with a soft, "Hey."

There was instant and noticeable tension in the room with the arrival of the couple, so Tara decided to show them to the kitchen in an attempt to keep the peace.

"I cannot believe he's here," Emily griped. "And not only is he crashing our queer potluck, but he went and brought a date too?! Who the hell does that?"

"Derek," Penelope said, even though they knew Emily meant it rhetorically. "Don't get me wrong, I love my Chocolate Adonis, but he's basically a reverse vampire when it comes to social things. He'll always show up when you least expect it and invite himself in. Plus, ninety-percent of the time, he does so with his woman-of-the-week attached to his arm. I mean, he's even been trying to weasel his way into joining our Quiz Night."

"And we will continue to exclude him," Emily said. "That's our special thing. No guys allowed! Not even you...," she went to address Luke, but realised how withdrawn he'd become, "What's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing," he dismissed. He tried to relax again, scooching over on the couch to invite Spencer to sit with him. "You wanna sit down, pretty boy?"

Spencer growled somewhere deep in his chest and flipped his boyfriend off as he disappeared in the direction of the quiet room Tara pointed out when they'd arrived.

"What's wrong with him?" Emily questioned.

"He's at a party," Luke responded distractedly.

Emily nodded and nuzzled into his embrace. "Fair enough. I was nervous about tonight too, but then I got here and was actually having a good time... right up until the heterosexuals got here."

"You say that like they're some sort of pariahs," Penelope laughed. "It's not Derek's fault he's straight. Not everyone can pull off being cool and amazing and queer. Besides, if that man was anything outside of hetero, there'd be no stopping him. He'd wind up dating every man, woman, and nonbinary person in the whole DMV area. We'd all be screwed... and not in the fun way!"

"Ugh, true. He'd be even more insufferable than he is now," Emily agreed. "I suppose every queer group of friends needs their token straight, even if it's just to remind us how dull the cishet lifestyle is."

The front door opened and Emily excitedly looked towards the hallway, instantly rushing to JJ as soon as she came into the living room. She wrapped her girlfriend in a hug and kissed her deeply, "I was starting to think you weren't coming!"

"Baby, you know I'd never stand you up," JJ smiled. She kissed her once more before turning to the rest of the group. She chuckled in disbelief at Penelope's attire, "Wow, Pen. That's.... yep. That sure is a dress."

JJ had also ignored the 'ugly sweater' gimmick and instead had opted to wear a dark red velvet dress that barely hit the middle of her thighs with green and white striped tights underneath.

"Funny, I was going to say the same about you," Emily said as she took a step back to examine JJ's outfit. "You look like a slutty elf."

JJ leaned into her ear and whispered something that made Emily blush, then she went to give her best friend a hug. "Seriously, Penelope. I cannot believe you're wearing an entire tree."

"You know I love being the center of attention," Penelope boasted. "Though, I hadn't quite thought it all the way through, because I can't actually sit down in this thing."

Tara, Derek, and Savannah came in and Tara instantly whistled under her breath as she went to give JJ a big hug. "Hey, Jen. You look phenomenal."

The pair of women had obviously known one another long before either of them met Emily, but ever since they each began dating her a couple of months ago, they'd grown even closer as friends. Now, Tara always looked forward to spending time with JJ outside of work.

"Hi, Tara," JJ smiled up at her. She was so distracted by Tara, it took her half a second to realise who else was there. Her eyes narrowed in Derek's direction, "Why am I not surprised to see you here?"

"Because you love me," Derek responded with a playful bounce of his pecks. "Jayje, this is Savannah. Savannah, this is JJ, my buddy Will's ex-wife."

"She's not just Will's ex-wife, Derek. JJ also happens to be my girlfriend," Emily explained dutifully.

Savannah looked between Emily, JJ, and Tara in confusion. "Wait, I thought Tara said she was your..."

"I'm her other partner," Tara interrupted.

"Yep, we're all suppppperrrr gay and polyamorous," Emily said as she made an overt show of cuddling closer to Luke. "Hope that's not an issue for you."

Savannah didn't miss a beat as she raised her glass in solidarity. "Nope, not an issue. I'm bisexual, so it's all good."

Derek's jaw dropped, his eyes basically bugging out of his head in the shape of cartoon hearts. "Hold on, you're what now?"

"I'm bi," Savannah repeated.

"Oh, ho, ho. Damn, that's good to know," Derek muttered. His eyes glossed over as his head clearly filled with all sorts of dirty images.

Luke had once again been quiet during the conversation and it wasn't until he stood up to go find Spencer that Savannah finally got a proper look at him.

Her eyes went wide in surprise. "Roxanne?!"

The room went completely silent as all heads turned in that direction. Luke was bright crimson from being addressed with his old name, he couldn't even meet her eyes as he muttered a quiet, "Hey, Sav."

"Oh my god, I cannot believe it's you!" She stepped back to look him over, "Wow, you sure look...different."

Upon hearing Luke's old name, Emily had already shot up from her seat, ready to physically fight this woman on Luke's behalf if need be, but before she could even make it across the room, Derek had already stepped between Luke and his date.

"Actually, Savannah, his name is Luke," Derek corrected firmly. "So you need to respect that, okay? And if you can't, then I'll gladly drive you home. We shouldn't have crashed their party anyway."

Savannah smiled warmly and looked to Luke again. "My apologies, Luke. There for a second you reminded me of someone I used to know," she put her hand out, "I'm Savannah. It's nice to meet you."

Luke blinked through teary eyes, emotional at both Derek's protective intervention, and at how quickly Savannah backtracked in order to address him properly. "It's, um, nice to meet you too."

From there, Savannah spent the rest of the evening getting to know him like it was the first time they'd ever met, because to some degree, it was. She'd known Luke many years ago, way before he'd become the man he was today. They'd run in the same social circles in their 20s back in New York. Until she walked in the door, Luke didn't even know she lived in the DC area now. It was a surprised to see each other again, but it was also nice to catch up.

After a few too many glasses of mulled wine, Penelope had become enraptured by Savannah. They had barely left her side all evening and they were currently leaning a little too close, as they hung on her every word. "So, how did you meet Derek?"

"Well, we actually first met at the grocery store," Savannah recounted. "One of those sitcom situations where we kept running into each other on different aisles, but I didn't get anything other than his name at that point."

Emily gasped as she remembered Derek mentioning the day in question during one of their training sessions. "Oh my god! You're that Savannah!? The one he thought was super hot, but he didn't hit on you with pickup lines about peaches, because he was trying to be an upstanding gentleman and not come on to every single woman he ran into."

"Uh....I guess so?" Savannah replied with a bemused smile.

Derek ran his hand over the back of his head as he sucked air through his teeth. "Thanks for selling me out, Emily."

"It's my job to keep you honest," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Okay, so what happened after the grocery store meet-cute?" Penelope pressed.

Savannah continued her story, detailing how they'd run into each other again, and that time, Derek certainly hadn't withheld from hitting on her. Emily made another remark about his inability to control himself, adding her own account of meeting him for the first time. Unable to stop the train wreck of a conversation, Derek made his exit to go grab another drink, mostly to avoid having to sit idly by while his friends roasted him in front of his date.

He grinned when he found Luke in the kitchen too. Derek gave him a small nod as a greeting, before ducking into Tara's fridge to look for another beer. He pulled one out and forwent using the bottle opener, instead opting to line up the top with the lip of the counter to pop it open in a show of strength.

He took a drink as he leaned against the counter. "I like your sweater. I'm not really a Christmas kind of guy either."

"Really? Why not?" Luke asked between bites of gingerbread.

"Dunno, I guess it just sort of feels disingenuous sometimes. There's so much importance placed on spending time with your family and giving gifts on just that singular day of the year, but personally, I think people should just celebrate with their friends and family year-round." Luke paused, his head slightly cocked as he chuckled under his breath. Derek began surveying the desserts to keep his eyes off Luke's smile. "What's funny about that?"

"Nothing," Luke replied. "It's just...I guess I didn't think you and I would ever be on the same page about something like this."

"How come?"

Luke leaned back on the opposite counter while watching the other man pensively. "I don't know. I just hadn't pegged you as the type of person to put a lot of importance on relationships."

Derek laughed and the sound filled the space. He took a drink while shaking his head. "Pretty big assumption to make when we barely know each other."

Luke quickly glanced down, his cheeks flushed with warmth at being called out. "Yeah, guess it was." There was a few seconds of silence before he added, "Hey, I, uh, wanted to say thanks for earlier."

Derek's smile widened as he raised his brows thoughtfully. "No problem, bro. I had no idea that you and her..."

"No, of course not," Luke replied softly. "It was just kind of a shock. I think she's the first person I've run into from my past, you know, since I transitioned. It just caught me off guard."

There were plenty of questions on Derek's mind regarding the encounter, but he thought better of prying. He could accept that it simply wasn't his business. He leaned back on the counter again, folding his large arms across his chest, "And are you good now? If you need me to say anything else to her, say the word. I meant it, dude. If she can't respect you, then she can go home."

Luke busied himself with filling a plate with dessert to hide how much he was blushing from little more than Derek's gorgeous smile and his insistence of always referring to Luke as 'bro' or 'dude'. He glanced up through his long lashes, "You'd really ditch your date like that... for me?"

"Absolutely," Derek replied a little too quickly. He cleared his throat awkwardly and took a swig of his beer. "I mean, I'd do it for any of you. Obviously. I wouldn't be a very good friend if I don't stand up for my, uh, B...LT friends."

Luke laughed at his incorrect attempt at the acronym. "I think you meant LGBT, a BLT is a sandwich."

Derek stared down at the ground. "Right, right, right. That's the one. LGBT. Gotta stand up for my LGBT friends...which is pretty much everyone I know nowadays," upon saying it his brow furrowed in thought, "I mean, even Savannah is bi. I swear it's impossible for me to meet straight people any more. What does that say about me?"

It wasn't meant to be an actual question and Luke knew as much, but he couldn't help himself at such low-hanging fruit. "Usually that means you might need to examine yourself a bit closer."

He'd absolutely meant it as a joke. After all, Derek was the straightest kind of straight guy, but to Luke's surprise, Derek seemed like he was half-seriously considering the statement. An awkward silence settled between them and Luke quickly added, "Or maybe you just like BLT sandwiches."

The momentary seriousness etched in his expression faded as Derek flashed him another toothy grin. "Yeah, alright, I'll give you that one, pretty boy," he quickly shook his head, "Shit, there I go putting my foot in my mouth again. I'm, uh, sorry. I didn't mean any disrespect or anything, it's just that... you are, kinda...pretty," He took an abrupt drink to stop himself from rambling any more.

It was strange, out of everything Luke had heard about Derek Morgan not a single person had ever labelled the man as being bashful by any stretch of the imagination. Yet, on more than one occasion, Luke had witnessed him become utterly flustered while they talked to each other. It was endearing in a way that Luke couldn't quite put his finger on. If he didn't know better, he'd almost think Derek was flirting with him.

Then, before he could talk himself out of it, Luke took a step closer so he was encroaching on the other man's personal space. "Be careful, Derek. A guy could get used to being called pretty by you."

With that, Luke walked out of the room as calmly as he could, even though his heart was thundering in his chest with a strange new giddiness.