Chapter Text
“Viktor?” The voice was deafeningly loud in the otherwise silent room. Viktor’s head was swimming, scrambled and felt like it was about to burst with the white-hot pain that flashed behind his eyes. He didn’t want to open them, partially afraid of what he’d see, and partially because the pain in his skull begged him not to.
The last thing he remembered was Jayce’s warmth before the Hexcore completely collapsed. Surely, he was dead, and this was some kind of afterlife. A hell, if the screaming pain in his head was any indication. The voice came again, more insistent this time, and for a brief moment, Viktor thought he recognized it.
“Viktor, wake up.” Heimerdinger. At once, Viktor’s eyes flashed open, the room coming slowly into focus as the lights on the ceiling threatened to burn his retinas. He took a deep breath. That was weird. Last time he checked, dead people don’t breathe. All at once, he took stock of his surroundings. He appeared to be in a bed, no less comfortable than his own in the Academy’s living quarters which honestly wasn’t saying much. His eyes traced the boring beige of the walls, glanced up at the bright lights that hung from the ceiling before a sharp pain behind his eyes forced him to look away. There were a few windows in the room, a warm orange light shining through them. The sunset. “Oh good, you’re finally awake!” Viktor’s eyes flicked to his bedside. Professor Heimerdinger stood on top of a stool by his bed, a semi concerned look painting his furry face. He was in his councilor uniform. Did he become a councilor again? “You two gave us quite a scare, my boy. It’s quite clear the two of you have been working too hard.” Two?
Jayce.
Viktor shot up in bed and immediately regretted it as what felt like an explosion of pain and pressure erupted inside of his skull. Immediately a hand came up to shield his eyes and he fell back onto one of his elbows. Viktor liked to think he had a rather high pain tolerance, but this was near unbearable. Without unsheilding his eyes, he simply opened his mouth. “Where is Jayce?” He asked, his voice strained and weak, like it hadn’t been used in some time.
“Oh, Jayce is fine, though he still has yet to wake up. He’s in the bed across from you.” Viktor instantly forgot about the pain in his skull and whipped around to look across from his bed. His breath caught in his throat. In the bed across from him, laid Jayce…well a version of Jayce. A version of him that looked much, much younger than what Viktor had grown accustomed to. The beard that had adorned his face before was now gone, as if it had never been there. There were no scars or marks on his face or what Viktor could see of his body. His hair was short and neat, and he looked…twenty-five again. Instantly Viktor’s hands flew to his own body, he could feel the warmth of his own skin under the fabric of his shirt, could recognize the thud of his rapid heart rate. His hair was no longer long and unkempt but neat and short. He brought his hands down to look at them. Human. Completely and totally human.
“What happened?” He asked more to himself than anyone else, though Heimerdinger seemed to think he was inquiring as to why he was in the Academy’s infirmary.
“We’re not quite sure,” The professor started. “The doctor seems to think you two have worked yourselves too hard and collapsed due to exhaustion, and I concur. You two spend every day in that lab and stay late into the night, when was the last time you two got any proper rest?” Knowing Viktor’s and Jayce’s work ethic in the beginning of their partnership, the answer was probably not in quite some time.
They were young again, in the early stages of Hextech, before it even had a proper name, before the Hexgates, before…everything went wrong. His scrambled mind tried its hardest to make sense of this, trying to understand how the Hexcore could have sent them back in time.
Or perhaps it didn’t, perhaps, this is a different universe entirely? Another chance to make things right, a chance to start over.
A pained groan grabbed Viktor’s attention. Across from him, Jayce seemed to be waking up, his head tilting to the side as a hand came to his temple. Viktor stopped breathing, holding his breath as he waited for Jayce’s eyes to open. His heart thudded in his chest; a feeling akin to fear flooding his veins. Jayce had every right to hate him when he woke up. Maybe that’s how they were supposed to save this universe, a separation. Hextech can’t destroy, if it dissolves before it has the chance. Viktor could live with that, a rightful punishment for his own actions. The logic didn’t keep him from pulling his knees up to tuck against his chest though, like a child trying to comfort himself before being punished.
“Jayce my boy!” Heimerdinger hopped off the stool by Viktor’s bed and sped over to the one placed beside Jayce’s, scrambling a bit to get onto it, but eventually succeeding. “I was starting to get worried; how do you feel?”
“Like you are so loud.” Jayce winced; his eyes covered by his hands. Heimerdinger seemed to realize he was shouting and hunched his shoulders bashfully.
“Right,” He whispered. “Sorry.” Jayce sighed and then seemed to freeze, as if he suddenly realized something was wrong. His hands flung away from his face and his eyes flashed open, squinting with the pain of the lights, but refusing to close all the way. Jayce’s gaze flitted around the room, seemingly realizing where he was. He lifted his head, and his eyes landed on Viktor, and all at once, it felt like time stopped. Viktor had never particularly liked being the center of anyone’s attention, but Jayce’s gaze burned through him like hot magma. Without really meaning to, he found himself backing up against the pillows of the bed. He mentally prepared himself for the harshness of Jayce’s words to come, for the venom and vitriol. While he was fused with the Hexcore, Jayce had looked at him with so much anger, so much hatred, and while he’d been able to take it back then, he didn’t think he could now. With the return of his humanity came the return of his weakness. Sure, Jayce had been kind before the collapse, but they were sure they were about to die. How would he respond now, knowing that they were in fact not dead. Viktor kept his eyes trained on the fabric of the sheets, counting his own breaths as he tried to work up the courage to meet Jayce’s gaze again. The least he could do was accept his words like an adult instead of a frightened child. In between his thoughts, Viktor heard Heimerdinger’s voice echo in the room. “Wait Jayce you haven’t been cleared to move yet you should be seen by the doctor again before doing any—and you’re getting up anyway—Okay boys I’ll be back with the doctor. Please don’t hurt yourselves!”
Viktor had barely registered the sound of the infirmary door closing before he felt the dip of someone sitting on the side of his bed. He didn’t have to look to know it was Jayce. He was preparing himself for the berating, the frustration and anger that was surely to accost him any moment now.
What he hadn’t been expecting was the feeling of a warm hand coming to rest over one of the arms he had his head tucked into. A touch so gentle and soft, it almost felt hesitant. ”Viktor?” Jayce’s voice was so gentle, nearly a whisper. “Look at me?” Viktor took a breath but forced his head up, nonetheless. Instead of anger on Jayce’s face, he saw concern. Then the concern faded, and a warm smile took its place. “Please tell me your brain is as scrambled as mine.”
The huff of a laugh that forced its way out of Viktor’s throat was unexpected, but not unwelcome. He nodded. “And it hurts like hell.” He added and Jayce chuckled. He could see the beginnings of a question on Jayce’s face and decided to answer it before he could speak. “No, I don’t know how we got here.” He stated. “I don’t know if we got sent back in time, or if this is a completely separate universe entirely and I do not have the wits about me to consider it for more than a few minutes.” Jayce was hardly surprised by his words. It was common for Viktor to answer his questions before they were even asked. It felt normal. Like they were normal again.
“I missed you.” Jayce blurted out and Viktor couldn’t help but jump at the words. Suddenly Jayce’s expression was filled with emotion and before Viktor could react, he was engulfed in a hug, pressed so tightly to Jayce’s chest that he could hardly breathe. “I missed you so much.” Jayce’s voice wavered. It was like Viktor collapsed against him, like he could no longer bear to hold himself up and had to rely on Jayce’s strength to secure him. He wasn’t sure when he started crying, but before he knew it, his body was wracked with sobs as Jayce held him, his hands gliding over this back soothingly.
“I’m so sorry.” Viktor’s words cracked. Jayce’s arms tightened around him.
“It wasn’t you.” Jayce’s own voice was fragile, though he seemed to be holding it together at least a little better than Viktor. “It was the version of you that I created. I should be sorry Viktor. You told me to destroy it, your dying wish to me and I couldn’t even keep it correctly.” Jayce took a shaky breath. “All because I was too selfish to let you go.”
Viktor had died when the council room was attacked. He remembered the split second of pain before everything faded. Jayce had brought him back from the dead, and he hadn’t come back the same. He’d come back missing pieces, missing parts of himself. He came back inhuman. He tried to push the memories from his mind, instead allowing himself to burrow further into Jayce’s chest. They were alive, and not only were they alive, they were given a second chance. They could do things right this time.
“We have to abandon Hextech, Jayce.” He breathed out, only loud enough for Jayce to hear. “We cannot let it happen again.” Jayce only nodded in agreement.
They parted when they heard the sound of the infirmary door opening and two sets of footsteps enter. Heimerdinger scurried in, followed by a doctor in a white lab coat.
“Well good morning boys.” The doctor chimed, clearly trying to make a joke. “You two seem to have had quite the afternoon.” This doctor didn’t even know the half of it. He walked over and focused his attention on Jayce, looking in his eyes and checking for any sign of concussion. “Any headache, nausea or confusion?” He asked and Jayce shook his head in a lie.
“Nope, right as rain, doc.” The doctor turned his attention to Viktor, though this time, his expression turned a bit more serious.
“Headache, nausea, confusion?” He asked, and just like Jayce, Viktor lied as he shook his head. In all honesty, his head was still tender, though how was he supposed to explain that less than an hour ago he’d been floating about an astral plane with Jayce as they awaited their deaths? “What about a cough?” That got Viktor’s attention.
“What?” He asked. Immediately his mind flashed to the illness he’d developed in his previous life. The bloody coughs, the weakness, the pain. If he had gone back in time, this was far too early for the illness to be showing itself, the symptoms didn’t start until he was nearing thirty. He could be no older than twenty-three now if Jayce was twenty-five again. For all intents and purposes, he should be perfectly healthy with the exception of his leg.
“When you were first brought to the infirmary I noticed a strange sound in your lungs.” Had it really started this early? “Luckily, if you’re not coughing and you feel fine, whatever it is we probably caught early. I’m going to send you home with a round of general antibiotics but I want to see you again in four weeks so we can get a closer look at those lungs.” Viktor nodded. If they had caught it this early the first time, could his life have been different? Could things have been…different?
”And no more working in the lab for the rest of the day!” Heimerdinger tacked on. “If you two are collapsing like this, clearly, you’re in dire need of rest. You can start back up in the morning.”
Viktor didn’t complain when Jayce followed him from the infirmary back to his apartment. He didn’t want to be separated from Jayce either. He didn’t want to be in a room without him ever again.
When he stepped through the threshold of his front door, the pang that hit him wasn’t quite sadness…it was…nostalgia. They had started over. They had another chance. Jayce closed the door behind them, and suddenly, it was just them. No doctors, no Heimerdinger, no one besides the two of them.
“We need to get rid of the crystals.” Jayce blurted out suddenly as they made their way into the kitchen. Viktor nodded as he plucked the kettle from the stove and set to filling it with water. “Perhaps we can bury them somewhere.”
Viktor gave his partner a look. “Bury them? And what? Let some sorry sod find them in a hundred years and lay waste to the world? We can’t just bury them, Jayce.”
“Well, how else do we get rid of them?”
Viktor sighed. His headache was coming back the more he thought about it. “I don’t know.” He lamented. “I think the professor is right, we need to rest, I can’t,” Viktor waved a hand noncommittally. “Think straight.”
Jayce walked up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you go lay down, I’ll make tea.” Viktor looked over to him, a stubborn flash to his eyes.
“I am not a child, Jayce. I am perfectly capable of—“
“I know you are.” Jayce interrupted him. “Just…humor me, would ya?” Viktor held firm for a few more moments before he sighed in defeat. He set the kettle down on the counter and hobbled out of the way as Jayce took over and started filling the kettle with water from the tap. Viktor made his way down the hall toward his bedroom, pushing the door open before nearly collapsing onto the bed. He was exhausted. His head still radiated a dull ache, and the lights were still a bit too bright, but it was better than it had been when he first woke up. He had a feeling it would take a bit longer for his brain to unscramble. He felt like a foreigner within his own skin, like his skin and bones weren’t his own. He supposed they technically weren’t. It was like his soul merged with a version of himself that had already existed. He wondered if this Viktor would have ended up the same, would have ended up sick and dying and destined to destroy.
He hadn’t realized just how much his bones ached until he finally laid down. When he’d first woken up, his adrenaline had been so high he hadn’t felt it but now, he felt like he got hit by a truck. Now that he was down, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get back up. He needed to though. He needed to at least change.
With a discomforted groan he managed to sit up. “Want some help?” He heard a voice from the doorway and looked up to see Jayce leaning up against the wall. Viktor waved his hand dismissively as he made to stand, balancing his weight on his cane.
“I will be fine, Jayce.”
“You’re always so stubborn.” Jayce pushed himself off the wall and walked over, using a hand on Viktor’s shoulder to steady him as his balance waned. He looked over to him.
“Why are you so unaffected?” He asked. Jayce hardly seemed like he felt anything strange, like it was just a normal day. He even seemed to wake up with less pain than Viktor did.
“I am.” He admitted. “My head is swimming, and I feel like I fell out of an airship but I’m more concerned about you than I am myself right now. I want to make sure you’re okay.” Viktor couldn’t help but smile at him. Jayce had always been so kind, but something felt off.
“I am not fragile, Jayce. I will not break. Tell me the truth.” Viktor always knew when Jayce was hiding something, when something was bothering him.
Jayce almost seemed like he wasn’t going to give, but he eventually sighed before moving to sit on the edge of Viktor’s bed. He perched his elbows onto his knees as he bent forward, his fingers interlocked in front of him. “I didn’t even know you were sick, Viktor. I had no idea how bad it was until you were in a hospital bed with a terminal diagnosis. I was so…distracted with everything besides where I should have been looking the most.” Viktor’s heart panged in his chest. He shifted so he could sit down next to Jayce, a hand coming to his shoulder in the futile effort to provide any kind of comfort.
“I did not want you to know, Jayce.” He admitted. “You did not know, because I kept it from you. There were more important things to focus on and I knew if you knew—“
“Wait wait hold on, more important things? Viktor there is nothing more important than you. Nothing.” Jayce pinned him with his gaze. “If I had known, I would have dropped everything, I would have been by your side the entire time, like I should have been.” Viktor hated the dejected look on Jayce’s face. He would do anything to never see it again.
“You are by my side now, Jayce.” He assured. “Things will be different this time. We know our mistakes; we can avoid them. It is too late for regrets, we cannot change the past, but we can make sure it does not happen again.” Jayce seemed to lighten up after that. “Now, wipe that sorry look off of your face and go make us some tea, I am going to change.”
“Aye aye captain.” Jayce joked as he stood. He offered a hand to Viktor to help him up, which he did take, before he walked out of the room. Viktor considered closing the door, though he supposed there wasn’t much of his body that Jayce hadn’t already seen. He made his way over to his closet, choosing as light fitting clothing as he could find. A loose shirt that he was almost certain was actually Jayce’s and a pair of pajama pants.
Viktor was slow as he undid each button of his dress shirt, little by little exposing more of the skin he’d thought he’d never see again. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it. He let the shirt fall from his arms and crumple to the floor, he’d pick it up later. He gave himself a moment to take in the sight before him, refamiliarizing himself with his scattered freckles and beauty marks. He’d spent so long thinking his body was broken, was a thing to be fixed, but now…now he was just happy to have it back. He leaned forward a bit, inspecting his face. He looked so young, not a single crease or line, just smooth unmarred skin. A twenty-three-year-old with the mind of a thirty-year-old who had seen far too much. He took a breath before slipping on his new shirt. It was definitely Jayce’s; he was practically swimming in it. It even still smelled like him. With how often Jayce would spend nights with Viktor in his apartment making notes and hypothesizing he probably had enough of his clothes here to fill a closet of his own.
He was tender with his right leg as he slipped out of his pants, spending a bit of time massaging his knee. He’d nearly forgotten this pain, the ache under his kneecap, the way it bled down to his ankle and up to his hip. He sat down in a chair by the mirror as he pulled on his pajama pants, cinching them tight around his hips. He looked up just in time for Jayce to walk in with two mugs of steaming tea.
“So that’s where that shirt went.” He chuckled when his eyes landed on Viktor, still sat in front of the mirror. Viktor huffed out a laugh.
“I’m sure it’s not the only one.” He admitted. “There should be plenty of your clothes here…should you choose to stay overnight.” He was a bit hesitant on the second part. He wanted Jayce to stay, he wanted to cling to him, glue them together.
Jayce handed a cup of tea to Viktor, which he happily accepted. “I’m not going anywhere, V.”