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The world is loud, my thought are quiet (and still you're mine)

Summary:

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Jinx wasn't supposed to watch how the kid runs towards a monster she'd come to care for, towards a monster that was about kill her.
Oh, but the irony.
The gun was too big in Isha's little hands and her blue hair wasn't blue anymore. Ash was covering it, colouring it grey, her entire skin grey. She already looked dead.

---

What-if: Isha lives.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Arms were caging her in and all she was able to do was scream a name that meant more to her than anything else.

"Isha!"

Jinx wasn't supposed to watch how the kid runs towards a monster she'd come to care for, towards a monster that was about to kill her.

Oh, but the irony.

The gun was too big in Isha's little hands and her blue hair wasn't blue anymore. Ash was covering it, colouring it grey, her entire skin grey. She already looked dead.

No,

no,

no.

This wasn't supposed to happen! Jinx had wanted to make it better, for her! For Isha, because what else was she supposed to do!

She didn't even actively make the choice to start loving her. Hell, she hadn't been aware she could still love at all, never mind actively choosing to care for the little airborne kid that crashed on top of her.

Isha-

Janna, Isha.

Jinx teeth snapped closed, skin ripping beneath them and she barely heard the pained grunt that came from Vi. The cage around her torso loosened and she kicked a shin, wriggling free and almost crashing face first into the ground.

Don't leave me.

For a second she's nine again, she's Powder, she's screaming for her sister. For another second she's seventeen, she's Jinx and she's screaming for the kid. For a third she's everything combined. She's seventeen, Powder-Jinx and she's screaming for her.

"Isha!", she cried out, running forward, hand outstretched and she watched as golden eyes locked onto her. It all happened in seconds.

The way they widened slightly, the little twitch her entire body made.

(Jinx was now very familiar with that twitch. It meant Isha was short of barrelling into her. Jinx loved that twitch. Jinx loved Isha.)

The way the blue-haired girl raised the gun that was too big for her and fuck when did she even take that?

And then time stopped for a second and in the next Jinx smashed into the girl, ripped the gun out of her tiny hands and gripped onto her as if the gods had come to take her away.

Not today. Not ever.

The world was so loud.

She's mine.

Her thoughts were so quiet.

Mine.

In a few years' time, Vi would say Jinx's eyes were so empty, would retract her statement and say there was so much anger, grief that they looked  empty.

In a few years' time Jinx would be able to accept the fact that she chose the life of her Isha over her Dad's.

In the moment though, all she could think of was that Isha was shaking.

Not leaving.

The gun wasn't too big for her hands.

The trigger felt like satin and she pulled it without a second thought, turning in the same moment, curling around her living, breathing, beating heart.

She curled around Isha and prayed to gods she didn't believe in, prayed to Janna, who had abandoned her years ago. The blue light from back then still stained her eyelids, and now, another blue light stained her back.

The explosion threw her into the air, all she was able to do was curl tighter around the shaking bundle and notice the wet patch that grew beside her heart.

The impact hurt. Forced the breath form her lungs and bones to crack.

The tiny grunt that left the girl in her arms set her blood on fire and she was scrambling. The pain made her yelp but she persevered. For Isha, she'd do everything, anything.
The hold she had on her must've been painful, but later she'd find crescent moon shapes carved into her skin.

Jinx was running, she didn't know where, the only thought in her head: Get Isha away. Make it safe for her. Get. Her. Away.

The heat of fire slowly eased off, the shouts tampering off into the distance and only when there was nothing but silence all around her did Jinx fall to her knees, ripping the shaking, little body away from her chest.

Isha's cheeks were wet, tears cascading down her skin and snot blubbering out of her nose. She was holding her breath, tiny hands still outstretched towards Jinx and eyes so so wide and so so golden.

"Why would-"

Her voice cracked, vocal chords stretched taut, hands flitting over the girl, grazing the burns on the back of her hands, the burns on her elbows, on her knees.

"Why would you do that?"

Jinx didn't know who was talking, it seemed too high for it to be her, but Isha was mute, and nobody else was around.

"Isha- Isha why would you do that? You weren't supposed to do that."

Now Jinx was blubbering, hands still not stilling, tears joining Isha's on the floor.

"You could've died. You could be dead right now. Isha. You can't- Why would you-"

The sobs broke free from her chest like they were kept behind it by force. Like doves breaking free of a cage. Panicky gasps rushing in and rushing out too fast, fingertips grasping at Jinx.
"Ma" Her voice was rough, and she coughed, eyes tearing up anew at the unfamiliar pain in her throat.

"Isha, Isha, Isha-"

It was the only word Jinx could speak.

Isha headbutted her chest, arms and nails scraping against her back and sobs so unbelievably loud, clinging onto her like she only now realized what had happened.

"You can't, you can't. Isha, you can't. I'm supposed to- If it's anyone it's me, you can't die. Isha. Isha, you're not supposed to-"

All her words ended in gasps, and then she just decided not to speak. So they clung to each other, Isha curled into her with her face and her bright eyes buried under her chin. Jinx with her tears hiding in her powder blue hair.

Slowly the sobs tampered off, replaced by sniffles and shivers that ran over the girl's body.
Jinx didn't know when she had started rocking Isha, but she didn't stop.

Only when a tiny hand got splayed across her chest did she loosen her hold and lifted her head to look at a tear stained face.

Isha's eyes were red, swollen, the ash now only smears on her face, her lower lip was wobbling and her nose was still running. Jinx wiped the snot and some of the tears away.

Isha moved her hands.

"Isha, Isha, it's not your job to protect us. Do you get that? Isha. Isha, look at me. I protect you. You're mine to protect. You're mine."

Jinx wouldn't let Isha die, couldn't. Because Isha was hers.


Later, Jinx didn't know how much later, she heard a shout, flew to her feet and curled her hands into Isha's tangled hair. A snarl ripped itself from her throat and she watched as three figures ran towards them.

"Run, run, Isha run-"

She tried to set her down, get her to run, but Isha wouldn't let go, stuck to her like glue, tightened her legs around Jinx's waist and winded her arms around her neck like a vice.
 Maybe she had recognised the footsteps, the sound their shoes made. Maybe to her they weren't the enemy.

But Jinx couldn't tell the difference, just knew her kid, her Isha, almost died and she would not let it happen again.
She curled an arm around her back, smeared the paint off of Isha's arm (why Isha had wanted the same tattoo as her was a mystery, but she had been happy to paint it on her), gripped the gun tight and aimed at the three figures.

Isha whimpered, and Jinx held her closer.


"Pow-"

"Jinx!"

"Isha!"

Sevika's voice cut through, relief palpable, and Jinx dropped the gun. Because Vika wouldn't bring bad people to Isha. She wouldn't.

Jinx crashed to her knees again and held her. Let the ogre get close so she could fuss over the little girl and let herself get fussed over by Ekko of all people. She'd never know how he got there.

In the end it didn't matter though, because she had Isha.

She had Isha.

Notes:

I never should've touched this show. It's destroyed me.
Isha is actually alive and that's canon because i need her to be.
Also oh my god Ekko what are you doing here, g?
(Tell me why the writers of the show couldn't just make Ekko save Isha. Tell me.)
Yeah, so for all the people in dire need for more Jinx and Isha, same girl.