Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We open the season on the iconic dock of Camp Wawanakwa, the island in which most of the old seasons had taken place in.

There, a man in his early-late 40s walks by and begins speaking directly to the audience.

"Last time on Total Drama Island" The man began. "We started our reboot strong by inviting 16 brand new contestants to play in 2 wonderfully crafted AND dangerous seasons!"

Footage from the last 2 seasons is shown while the man's narrating.

"In the end, these brutal brawls resulted in 2 great winners, several bonds & betrayals and many, MANY horrible accidents for our unfortunate cast!" The man continued. "And now, I've decided to make our most ambitious season yet. 36 contestants. From different dimensions! ONE BILLION DOLLARS"

"I'm Chris Mclean and this is Total Drama Island!" The man now known as Chris McLean explained. "We have 35 new campers to introduce for the season, but first, I would like to RE-introduce the audience to an old face!"

We then cut to a helicopter hovering around the island. From that helicopter, a black girl with dyed blonde hair jumps down with a parachute all the way to the bottom. When she lands, she strikes a confident pose that screams "Let's get serious."

"Ladies, Gentlemen, and everyone in between: Give a warm welcome to previous contestant Nichelle Ladonna!" Exclaimed Chris.

"Darn right McLean, I may've not made it far in my previous seasons, but this year I'm gonna give my all!" Proclaimed Nichelle aggressively.

"Didn't you say that in season 2? Where you got tricked easily by a fake hollywood contract?"

"Bu-but I mean it this time!"

Chris grinned. "Sure you do Nichelle, sure you do."

"Alright, now, can you get on and reveal the other losers so I can win this easily?" Nichelle asked.

"I was about to do that just now, and i'll take a while, since we have over thirty characters from various universes." Chris claimed.

"W-Wait, what the heck do you mean by universes?" Before her answer could be questioned, a giant boat containing the contestants had arrived at the dock, which horned loudly, making both Chris and Nichelle cover their ears.

"Aaaaannd they've arrived just in time! Now, for our first multiversal contestant, I've decided to first introduce the most iconic of them all. Donald, on the duck, now!"

The first camper to step out of the boat was the famous Disney character Donald Duck. He looked more or less the same as usual, wearing his sailor outfit with pride and walking straight to Chris.

"Good grief, is that ACTUALLY Donald Duck? Like, for real?" Asked a confused Nichelle.

"Yes he is. Now Donald, how do you feel about getting into Total Drama Island?" Asked a not confused Chris.

"INCOMPHREHENSIBLE NOISES" Said Donald? I dunno, no one knows what he actually said.

"Alright Donny, that was very thoughtful of you to say, but let's just get to the next contestant!" Chris yelled, angering Donald.

Our third contestant was a blonde haired man wearing a black-ish blue jacket and pants. He looked pretty annoyed.

The man complained. "Wow, this place is a dump, though I should've expected that, considering I've been on a show like this before."

"Oh I know that show Nick, and I dare you not to mention it again EVER!"

Nick simply rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm honestly just here to get the money and nothing else,"

"Good. Now lets continue with the intros!" Yelled out Chris.

Next contestant arrived almost immediately. He happened to be a red crewmate from the hit game Among Us, the only difference between him and a regular crewmate was his red beanie on his head.

"Huh, so this is the total drama show everyone is talking about." Claimed the crewmate. "Name's Player by the way, I'm known to be kind of a loser, but I'm not gonna let that faze me here. I'm here to win and maybe make some friends along the way."

"BORING." Yelled out Chris. "You're gonna lose that enthusiasm sooner or later anyway scrub so I suggest just going over with the others and shutting up."

Player didn't look particularly happy. "Rude." He then went to the others.

"Now it's time for a much more exciting arrival. He's from the same universe as Player, a mega star in the Among Us nation, give it up for Mr. Cheese!" Yelled Chris in excitement.

Out the boat was a crewmate like Player, but this time orange, and he had a piece of cheddar on his head.

"My name's Mr. Cheese." He said.

"Why yes, your name is most certainly Mr. Cheese." Said Chris in a sarcastic tone. "You guys should treat him with some respect, we payed A LOT of money to put him here, so carass his ego, would you?"

"INCOMPHREHENSIBLE NOISES" Yelled out Donald Duck.

"Why thank you good sir for the compwiment!" Said Mr. Cheese.

Player whispered to Nichelle. "He may look like an idiot, but he's actually a complete genius, so watch out for him".

Nichelle didn't look particularly convinced by this idea.

Mr. Cheese went on to stand next to Player. "Hey Pwayer, wanna make an alliance?"

Player looked scared. "S-See? I was right?"

Mr. Cheese whispered to him in a sinister tone. "I won't tawk any more If I were you."

"Ooh drama already? That must be a new record!" Joked Chris.

The next camper was just a plankton, more specifically a cartoon plankton with limbs and one eye.

"Everyone, this is Plankton. He's an evil genius from Bikini Bottom and the owner of his own restaurant." Chris Explained. "A really bad restaurant, but one nonetheless" He added.

"I would object to that last claim Mr. Host!" Plankton exclaimed. "I've got at least 0.0000003% stars! Even if most of the positive reviews had suspiciously similar usernames."

"VERY suspicious, to say the least" Added Nick.

Plankton started sweating a bit. "B-But you're definitely right about the evil genius part! You maggots may think of me as just a lil useless sea creature, but wait till I fly under the radar and win this whole thing!"

Player looked confused. "You're not gonna fly under the radar if you're just gonna say it out loud so quickly."

"THATS-Actually you got a good point, I really should be more subtle." Confessed Plankton. "Guess I'll just, y'know, go there and wait for everyone else."

After Plankton, the next camper was a muscular Jamaican man who was also completely shirtless. He also had some sick dreadlocks. (I'm not using this design bellow but I couldn't find any non FANDOM images of his Street Fighter 6 one)

"If I had a nickel for every time we've had a fit jamaican guy named Dee Jay on this show, I'd have two nickels." Chris claimed. "But this one in particular is also a famous musician/kickboxer! So much cooler than the other one."

"Thanks for intro mon." He said to Chris. "I'm really excited to start winning game, baby!"

"This guys kinda cool" Said Player.

Dee Jay proceeded to move towards the group by moonwalking. "Love the enthusiasm, kid!"

Next one to arrive was only our second female contestant. She was a living, breathing gingerbread cookie with flowing brown hair that reaches the ground and winter clothes. She also notably had a cup of cocoa in her hand.

"This is Cocoa Cookie. She loves cocoa more than anything in the world. Or multiverse, because one of you would have tried correcting me."

Plankton quietly hums to himself.

"Hello there. My name is Cocoa Cookie." She said. "I hope to win the prize so that I will be able to make my dream come true: Cocoa park! Cocoa Mountain! COCOA EVERYTHING!"

"Sheesh, you're just OBSESSED with cocoa, ain't ya? Mate, go drink some coffee or even tea, it's much more healthy." Nick said.

Cocoa Cookie proceeded to throw her hot cocoa directly at his face with a big smile. "Did you say something?"

He nodded "no".

"Good." Happily said Cocoa Cookie.

After Cocoa Cookie came a muscular white skinned man with brown hair. He wore sunglasses and had a confident look.

"Make way for the star, bitch."

Cocoa looked angrily at him.

"Johnny Cage, our second hollywood action star after Nichelle." Explained Chris. " How you doin' man, did Hollywood cancel you too?"

Johnny crossed his arms behind his head. "Never heard of her. I'm really just here for some good ol' publicity. I mean, kinda hard to not get noticed when getting broadcasted across multiple universes."

Nichelle went up to him. "Well at least MY strength isn't fake!"

Johnny just laughed at her. "Will see that when the game starts, but for now, you're basically a nobody to me."

"Man did I pick a good cast!" Said Chris. "Speaking of the cast, here comes a few more!"

Out the boat was a big, green leaf with short, stickman-like limbs.

The leaf looked super happy, almost TOO happy. " Hiiiiiiii, I'm Leafy and I'm THE NICEST, MOST COOLEST MOST HARDWORKING MOST AMAZING PERSON YOU'LL EVER MEET! I'M SO FREAKIN HAPPY TO MEET Y'ALL!"

"Don't you think you're being a bit, I don't know, dramatic?" Asked Plankton.

"Mr. Cheese doesn't wike you."

"Huh? How-how COULD YOU? Mr. Cheese, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!" Yelled Leafy in an incredibly sad tone.

"I don't even know you, idiot." Mr. Cheese replied.

"Ugh fine." Leafy said, crossing her arms. " I have other friends anyway."

She went up to the rest of the cast. "Hey Player, you're my friend, RIGHT?"

"How do you know my name? I-I've never seen you before."

"Isn't it normal to know the names of ALL of my friends?" Said Leafy.

"Fair point." Replied Player. "I think."

Next character was similar to Leafy and Cocoa, in that she was a normally inanimate object who was a living, breathing organism. She was a pillow, who happened to have the Leafster's stickman limbs.

"Hey guys! I'm Pillow! And I just came here to say I want to see all of you die a grizzly death!" That's all Pillow said before leaving the dock.

"Cool" Said Chris.

After 3 living objects almost in a row, we get another human. He(?) has brown hair and yellow skin. She(?) wears a blue shirt with purple stripes. He (?) seems to be a small child.

Chris introduces her(?). "This is Frisk. I know nothing about them(?) but welcome him(?) regardless.

Frisk walked in silence towards the group.

Our next camper was utterly disgusting in both appearance and personality. So much so that I can't even DESCRIBE how he looks. Just imagine the most horrific stereotype of a southern white man.

"Howdy y'all, Toby Queef's the name and killin' hippies is my game!"

Dee Jay looked like he was about to vomit. "Jesus Christ mon, this is making me sick!"

"He looks like an inbred cross between Danny Devito and the Wicked Witch." Added Johnny Cage.

"I must say I'm quite liking my reception so far." The abomination known as Toby Queef stated. "Hey Chris?"

"Yes?" He answered.

"Did ya happen to cast a fuckin' JEW or an AYRAB on the show or what?" He nonchalantly said.

Everyone gave him a cold look besides Pillow and Chris.

"Um, Chris, did you SERIOUSLY accept this piece of trash human being onto this show?" Yelled Nichelle.

"I've literally put psychotic attempted murderers on here before but a random guy saying something bigoted is the last straw?" He replied. "Hypocrites, all of you."

"Well fuck all of you faggots I guess." Toby Queef said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pray to God that you won't get your sick, JEWISH blood all over me!"

After such a horrible individual, the next contestant was a lot more pleasant. She was a pink haired Japanese girl with green eyes. She wore a school uniform.

"This is Monika. Her hobbies include literature, playing the piano and other stuff a Japanese schoolgirl would be into."

"Mr. McLean, I appreciate that introduction, but couldn't it have been a little more, fleshed out?" She asked. "After all, you hardly described my personality other than some interests, and I think that wouldn't leave a good enough impression-"

"Zip it, we don't have all day for pointless monologues!" Chris told her.

"Well if that's the case, I suppose I'll simply go to the others." She replied.

"Wow, someone actually normal for once." Said Player. "That's rare."

Next up we had a short, anthrophomorphic rabbit girl. "This little girl right here is Cream The Rabbit." Chris claimed. "Cream, please introduce yourself.

Cream happily walked forward. "Hello there. I'm Cream and I-I hope we can all get along with each other!"

"That might be a bit easier said than done." Claimed Player as he glared at Toby Queef, who was currently picking his nose.

"I-I'm sure it won't be that hard!" Cream replied.

"Poor girl is NOT ready for this show at all." Chris said. "Anyways, next on our list of contestants comes from the same world as Cream, Sonic The Hedgehog!"

Seemingly out of nowhere the blue hedgehog came in the view of all of the campers, striking a confident pose as well.

"Sup. Seems my competition's a bit weak today."

"Wait is that Sonic The Freakin' Hedgehog?" Player questioned in awe. "He's like the coolest video game character!"

"Besides Mr. Cheese!" You-Know-Who added.

"Thanks for the compliment." Sonic said. "I usually get the OPPOSITE of what you just said."

"Sonic!" A feminine, high pitched voice screamed. "YOU haven't forgotten about me, did you?"

Sonic looked spooked. "Are you kiddin' me? Amy, you can't do this now, I've got a competition to win!"

Amy forcibly embraced Sonic anyway, and he was understandibly annoyed.

"Lemme guess, you only entered this show so you could hang out with me, right?"

"Oh, actually, no." Replied Amy. "I signed up for myself, and, when I found out an alternate universe version of you applied, I got Dr. Eggman to change it so that YOU joined instead! Isn't that SOOO kind of him?"

"Darn, guess that's why nobody here looks like they're ready to run 100 miles per hour." Sonic revealed. "Or that the host is some surfer lookin' guy instead of a professional gentleman."

"Question." Said Chris. "Did that show involve racing around the world with a partner?"

"Yep, it certainly did. Shame Tails won't participate here."

"If that's the case, then you definitely got put in the better show!" Bragged Chris. "But whatever, you two can continue with your lovey dovey stuff when we're done with the intros."

The first camper introduced after the halfway mark was a man who was strangely yellow-skinned. He was middle aged and balding, and he looked quite derpy.

"Homer, this show is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life, so I suggest trying to make a good impression."

Homer probably didn't listen to anything Chris said as he seemed to look tired. "Hmmm, Donuts. Gimme gimme Mr. Dough, I'll make sure to save some for Marge."

"According to various studies I've made up in 2 seconds." Pillow began. "This man is what we know as a retard."

"That's pretty offensive, you dumb bitch!" Said Toby Motherfuckin' Queef.

"I wouldn't say that if I were you." Nick told him. "Besides, getting offended by that is bloody stupid on its own."

Homer fell unconscious, probably because of how much he drank before leaving his home.

"So is anybody gotta move his fatass or what?" Asked Johnny Cage. No one responded.

Next came a rotund, purple cloud with arms and a star right above the eyes.

"This place is so, like, CRAPPY!" She said. " It must've costed, like, 12 bucks to, like, buy it right?"

"Oh actually, it costed even less than that." Replied Chris. "Cuz I got it for Christmas!" He then chuckled.

"Lame." The cloud said.

"Anyways, this fine young woman is Lumpy Space Princess, the soon-to-be ruler of, y'know, Lumpy Space!"

"Wow, and here I thought MY parents hated me." Said Nichelle.

"Whatevs." Lumpy Space Princess said as she took out her phone. "'Least this island has Wi-Fi."

"Oh yeah about that. You're not alllowed with smart phones on the island. Though since last time someone had it, it caused major drama, I'll give you a pass."

"Cool" LSP said while looking at whatever Tik Tok equivalent her universe has.

Next camper was the weirdest looking human character so far (If you don't count Toby Queef as human). He was a small child who had a fucking pencil up his nose. He wore a blue bike helmet, a yellow T-shirt that said "Jeffy" on it and some black shoes.

"Hi, my name Jeffy. He said. "It says so on my shirt, Jef-fy."

"Pretty sure the kid has some kind of mental disability." Said Nick. "Just another confirmation this show doesn't screentest its contestants."

"Anyhow, Christ, can I get the money now and go home to daddy?" Jeffy said.

"Seems you haven't gotten the memo. You're supposed to COMPETE to win all that cash kid, and even then you're not guaranteed to get it!"

"Oh are you fucking serious?" Yelled the kid. "What kind of fucking reality show doesn't give you money for doing jack shit!"

"Jeffy, be a good boy and just go to the other contestants please." Chris said calmly.

"Fine." He said. "Hopefully you got some hoes in here."

"That kid must be a massive disappointment to his parents." Johnny Cage said.

Jeffy walked up to Pillow. "Hey, can I say that you, an inanimate object, makes my pee-pee go wee-wee."

Pillow pulled out a sharp knife. "Say that again and you won't be able to walk again."

"Nah, that just makes it hotter."

Pillow simply leaves him after that.

Next we had a redheaded young adult woman with a long white coat. She looked pretty excited to be here.

"Hey guys! Name's Mona and I'm kinda just here for the money. Like, don't get me wrong, It's a selfish reason, but having a billion dollars would be SOOO cool you guys!"

"Man, that hoe's lookin' pretty fucking fine." Said Jeffy.

"E-excuse me, did you just...say that?" Mona asked.

"Yes I did."

"Um, okay. Though I'm still excited and all, to start the freakin' game and all that."

"Jeffy! Be nice to women from now, you understand?!" Yelled Leafy.

"You're not my mommy!" He replied.

"Yet."

"From the same video game company Mona happens to work at." Chris began. "She's a lonely witch girl who can craft the most deadly of potions: Here comes Ashley!"

A young girl came in, wearing a small red dress. She had both black hair and black eyes, with the hair in pigtails.

"Hello...I'm Ashley...a witch" She shyly said. "I'll just...go...with the rest."

"Come on Ashley, be a little confident girl!" Mona said. "You can't just be lonely forever!"

Ashley simply ignored Mona and blended in the crowd.

After Ashley was a character who was very much like Leafy and Pillow. She was a blue file cabinet who was currently writing one of her files with a pen.

"Hmmn, looking at such an...interesting set of characters, I have no doubt that my files are going to be larger than usual here." She remarked.

"Sup Cabby, please, tell us about yourself. That is usually how you make friends."

Cabby seemed a bit...sheepish about that. "Uh, me, yeah, yeah. My name is Cabby, I'm somewhat of a researcher, writing everything I find intriguing about a person or object in these files of mine."

"So you're basically a stalker, right?" Sarcastically asked Johnny Cage.

"I-I wouldn't exactly describe it as that." She tried explaining. "The real reason why I write files is, to put it simply, a personal reason that I don't want to get into."

"Just because you explain why you're a stalker doesn't mean you're not a stalker." Said Cage.

"I for one believe Cabby's just a lil shy!" Confidently said Mona.

"T-Thank you." Cabby replied.

"Blah Blah Blah 'nough with the chit-chat lets continue our episode!" Demanded Chris.

This new camper looked like he was from Chris's universe. He had tanned skin with solid brown hair. He wore a pink wifebeater and had a star tatoo on his right arm.

"Woah dudes, this place is hella awesome!" He exclaimed. "Geoff really knows what a good island is!"

Chris looked bewildered. "Geoff? Like Total Drama Aftermath host Geoff?"

"Yeah dude, he told me this season allowed adults in so I applied as soon as I could."

"Well I'm certainly not surprised you're his friend." Chris told him. "You're both the same brand of annoying."

"Thanks for the compliment dude!"

"Pretty sure it wasn't." Nichelle said.

Right after Brody came another contestant from his universe. She was a black woman with brown hair (thus likely biracial) and some light freckels. She wore a police outfit.

"This fine young lady is Sanders. She's a by the book officer who had her 10 minutes of fame years ago by winning that show that shall not be named along with her fellow cop partner. How've you been doing after that, Sanders?"

"Not much has really changed since then, as we donated the money to charity after winning." Sanders explained. "I'm mostly here as a sort of vacation from my job. Gets real stressful sometimes, especially after George Floyd."

Brody suddenly went up to Chris. "Oh yeah, I remember that chick! We were both on that show and got to the finals. I even went on a date with her partner, though that didn't amount to much."

"Discussing that stupid show makes me feel very uncomfortable so I want both of you to shut up and never talk about again EVER!" Chris interrupted.

Brody and Sanders just went to the rest of the group.

After those two came another human. He was a slightly tan skinned 10 year old boy with dark hair and two lightning bolt esque markings underneath his eyes. He wore a notable baseball cap which had the symbol of a ball none of the group had seen before outside of cartoons.

"Hello everyone, my name is Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town in the Kanto Region, and the world champion where I come from!" The boy explained.

"Pokemon as in, those strange animals who fight each other?" Johnny Cage asked. "I used to watch the hell outta that show when I was younger. Didn't know you became champ."

"Right on the money! Though I still don't consider myself a Pokemon Master, as there are still many things I need to accomplish beforehand and joining this show would be one of them!"

"If you say so." Chris replied to him.

"Good luck on the game anyhow." Ash said.

From the same universe? as Ash came a short, muscular girl with gray hair in a bobcut. She wore a karate outfit and some kneepads. Finally, she did not have any footwear on.

"This tough girl from Ash's universe is Bea, a gym leader from the Galar Region, which is basically her world's equivalent of the UK. She's got quite the muscle to say the least."

Bea silently went to the rest of the group until being approached by Nichelle. "You look pretty tough girl, wanna do a little arm wrestle to see it?"

Nichelle took her hand out and Bea almost instantly crushed it with ease. "Don't . ." She calmly said.

Nichelle was currently reeling from the pain in her hand. "O-ok, I'll r-remember that."

Up next was a black cat with red eyes. She was no ordinary cat, as she was anthropomorphic, wearing clothing like an orange shirt.

"Yo Mae, how are you feelin' 'bout this colorful group of characters?" Chris asked her.

"They look kinda dumb to be honest." The cat said bluntly.

"That's it? No wacky interactions, no sarcastic comments, NOTHING?" Chris asked, bewildered that this dumb cat broke the status quo.

"I just came here to waste my time in the summer. What more do you want?" She asked.

"Fiiiiiiiine. Go with the crowd and never say anything ever."

After that, Chris decided to introduce the next campers himself. "Up next we have the most popular female superhero in existence."

"Is it Batman?" Jeffy asked.

"No Jeffy, Batman isn't a woman."

"ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH!"

"Shut up." Chris replied. "It's Wonder Woman."

Almost on que, Wonder Woman herself came down from the sky looking battle ready.

Some of the contestants, mainly the more "normal" ones like Brody or Nichelle, reacted with awe at seeing the superheroine in person.

There was also Jeffy, who was smacking his diaper.

"While I am flattered by your reactions." She began. "I want to let everyone know that deep down, even in spite of my powers, we're all just as extraordinary as the other."

"I agree!" Leafy shouted.

"That sounds like some dumb inspirational shit you hear in oscar bait flicks." Johnny Cage claimed.

"I honestly think that hoe's got a nice ass!" Jeffy said.

Everyone glared at him.

"I mean, he DOES have a-" Chris tried to say before getting whipped with the Lasso Of Truth. "OUCH! What the heck Diana?!"

Diana looked at him as if he was a super villain.

"Whatever, join the others as I introduce the next few contestants."

Wonder Woman still looked pretty pissed at him.

"Next guy is Nightwing, Batman's OG sidekick turned full fledged hero. I just want you guys to know that, if you know his secret identity, do NOT say it out loud, cause it MIGHT just hurt his feelings. There he is!"

Nightwing quietly walked towards the dock. "Seems my competition's more...unique looking than I thought."

"Nightwing! How you doing man?" Chris asked.

"Pretty well for someone who's constantly fighting crime. This place should be like a vacation by comparison."

"Weird choice for one but you do you." Chris replied. "Go stand with the others then."

"Okay but before that, did you get my memo about editing out any footage revealing my identity?" Nightwing asked.

"Sure did."

"Good."

After Nightwing was out of his earshot, Chris whispered something to the audience. "I lied."

Next camper came out the boat looking confident. Then he fell down and hurt himself almost immediately because he forgot to tie his shoes. "ARGHHH!" He yelled out.

He was a medium height and somewhat overweight middle aged man with spiky hair and green coat.

He got back up on the ground and looked embarrassed.

"Hey Pal! Name's Dick Gumshoe. I work for the LAPD as a homicide detective, investigating many high profile crime scenes, often badly, but that's beside the point."

"A cop? Crap, I gotta hide!'' Yelled Plankton as he hid himself behind Ash.

"Ooooook." Gumshoe said. "So long as none of you pals try to do anything illegal, I won't bother you."

Chris whistles with a worried expression. "'Kay, go with the others detective."

Next up came a particularly iconic character. He flew with his jet pack all the way to Chris himself.

"Woah, is that Boba Fett?" Asked Johnny Cage. "I almost played him in a movie once."

"Sure is!" Chris replied. "How you doin' Bob?"

Boba Fett didn't look particularly excited. "I'm just here to learn what my bounty is, don't care about these strange creatures."

"Yeah, about that." Chris said while glancing in the other direction. "I lied. You're gonna compete in a reality TV competition for a crap ton of cash, not one of your typical missions."

Boba aimed his gun at Chris, making the latter very scared. "Whoa bruh! It's ok! If you win the competition you'll get 1 billion credits! More than enough to retire from bounty hunting and live a good life."

"I'm listening." Said Boba Fett as he raised his gun down.

"You just gotta not get voted off man, super easy!"

"Sounds simple, far more than other missions I've been tasked with for smaller rewards."

"Good thing you hit the jackpot my man!"

After Fett, the next camper seemed kinda out there. She was a hot AF zombie girl with the typical green skin and also some dark green hair. Her outfit's quite...appetizing with shorts, a short tanktop and skull earrings.

"Yo Rottytops, what's up?" Asked Chris.

"Pretty good, do you?" Asked back Rottytops before she threw her head right in Chris's arms.

"AH!" He screamed as he threw her head right in Gumshoe's face, who simply said a mild "Ouch" and moved on.

"Heh, you shoulda seen that look on your face man!" Laughed out the Rottytops head as the rest of her body put it in place.

"Yeah, this girl's a menace." Chris bluntly said.

"Wow Chris, how do you get all these big tiddy bitches on this shit?" Jeffy said before Rottytops's arm moved around to slap him in the face.

"Okay, so our next camper is another rich contestant. His dad was an influential business man who I have a lot of respect for, so don't be too harsh on him."

Then came that contestant. He was a middle aged, maybe even elderly man who was already graying and wore a "rich guy" suit similar to Nick.

"So this is the place? My ranch looks a lot less dumpy than that." He remarked.

"I've been told that like a million times Connor, cuz that's the point, idiot."

"I-I'm just making a mild observasion Chris, I'm not trying to start trouble, that's n-not who I am." Connor replied.

"I don't care." Chris also replied. "Go where everyone else is, the game will start in about 10 minutes anyway."

"Fine, if you say so." Connor said as he went to the rest of the cast.

The final female contestant didn't arrive from the boat. Instead, she came straight from the sky, with the help of her trusty old pegasus.

She had long, flowing red hair along with matching partially red armor, with the rest of it being white.

"This is Cordelia, a member of Ylisse's Pegasus Knight Squad, and one of their more prestigious members at that."

"No need for an introductions Chris, I don't think I'm that interesting to warrant one." She said.

"Quite frankly I don't care. Go with the others." Chris replied.

She did just that.

"And last but certainly not least, our final contestant. He's the main man behind the highly popular (somehow) Garten Of Banban video games, none other than Banban himself!"

The last contestant had arrived from the boat rather nonchalantly. He was a strange, cartoon devil creature who looked like he was drawn by a 3 year old (he probably was).

"Banban, got anything to say to your competitors?" Chris asked him.

"Um, not much, no, not at all." He says. "I'm simply here to win and nothing more."

Banban than sheeply goes to the now 36 people group.

"This guy's hella suspicious." Chris mutters to himself.

"More like hella sus!" Mr. Cheese responds.

"Ok, we've got our cast up and ready!" Chris claims. "Is everyone ready?"

All the characters raise their hands except Toby Queef, who was doing something I can't mention, Frisk, who just stood there, Homer, who was still unconscious, and Jeffy, who was looking the other direction.

"Good. Now let's sort you guys, gals and whatever Frisk is into teams!"

"Oh, I really, really really want to have Sonic on my team." Amy proclaimed loudly. "We're gonna have the bestest love story this show's ever seen!"

"And here I thought your obsession with me had been toned down." Sonic snarked.

"[INCOMPHREHENSIBLE DUCK NOISES]"

"So long as I'm not on the same team as that guy." Rottytops said, pointing at Jeffy. "I think I'll be fine with any combination baby."

"Glad to hear all your comments guys." Chris smiled. "As for the teams, the first one consists of:

Pillow

Mae

Mr. Cheese

Ash

Player

Monika

Lumpy Space Princess

Connor

Nick

Sonic

Cocoa Cookie

and Homer"

That last one actually woke Homer up. "Me? Did Mr. Burns give me a promotion?"

"Why did it have to be him?" Nick asked. "Almost anyone else would have been better."

"I for one want to know why I'M not with Sonic!" Amy exclaimed.

"Because that makes for better drama." Chris told her. "Now, the second team consists of:

Frisk

Nichelle

Toby Queef

Dee Jay

Bea

Banban

Sanders

Donald Duck

Boba Fett

Amy

Cream

and Wonder Woman"

"At least we're on a team Amy." Cream said. "That's gotta be good."

"Yeah, I say so."

Nichelle went over to Bea with a smug smile. "Looks like we gonna have a lotta opportunities to settle the score girl."

"If you want to break all your bones trying to bloody beat me, do it then."

Toby Queef then interrupts them."I for one want to know why A THIRD OF OUR TEAM IS JUST NI-"

"This is a family show sir, stuff like that is an obvious no no." Chris stopped him before he could say you-know-what.

"Anyhow, the last team is...

Mona

Ashley

Leafy

Cabby

Cordelia

Rottytops

Plankton

Brody

Nightwing

Jeffy

Johnny Cage

and Gumshoe"

"Thank fuck our team's got some fine bitches!" Jeffy exclaimed before he smacked his diaper.

"Pervert." Ashley remarked.

Johnny looked disappointed at his new team, to say the least. "Any team with the retard is the worst one by default."

Chris then went ahead to the first team. "Aight, Team A, it's time to pick your team name! What I'll it be?"

Mr. Cheese raised his hand. "Oh, since Mr. Cheese has been a good good boy, I suggest we caww ourselves Team Cheese!"

Connor wasn't pleased. "Mr. Cheese, that's way too narcissistic. How about Team Connor?"

"Team Cheese!"

"Team Connor!

"Team Cheese!"

"Team Connor!"

"Guys, sharing cocoa is better than fighting!" Yelled out Cocoa Cookie.

"She's right you know. A cup of cocoa never hurt anyone." Connor admitted.

"So that's why we should be called Team Cocoa!"

"WHAT THE FU-" Connor yelled before Chris shut him up.

"Ssssshhhhhh, family show, remember?" He whispered. "And yes, from now on, team A will now be known as Team Cocoa!"

We see a team logo of a cup of cocoa form onto the screen.

"This is by far the worst team name in the history of Total Drama." Nick remarked.

"As for Team B, what name do you want?"

Cream started to hop like the rabbit she is. "Oh oh oh, I got one! Amy, since we're on the same team and the scary devil mister is big like Big himself, got any idea?"

"Yes Cream, I do." Amy replied. "How 'bout we become Team Rose?"

"The arrogance in these people is strong." Boba Fett claimed.

"I don't know mon, that name I can get behind." Dee Jay chimed in. "Roses are beautiful, after all."

"Then I suppose it's settled, you guys are Team Rose!"

On que the team logo, which was that of a rose, appeared on screen.

"That name's fuckin' gay!" Toby Queef yelled.

Chris simply ignored him. "Anyhow, now it's time for the last team to pick their name! First suggestion wins!"

"Let's be Team Pee-pee." Jeffy said.

"Team Pee-Pee it is then!"

Everyone on his team glared at Jeffy.

"Y'know how I said my team had the worst name?" Nick said. "I take that back."

"God, why were you allowed on this show?" Johnny told him.

"Well FUCK YOU TOO YOU DUMB FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!"

"BE NICE!" Leafy yelled to Jeffy.

"FUCK YOU, FUCK THIS, AND FUCK-" Before Jeffy could actually finish yelling, Cabby put him into her bottom file cabinet to get him to shut up.

"WOW Cabby, that was so nice of you!" Leafy told her. "Wanna be friends? I mean, we're already friends but now we can be like SUPER friends!"

Cabby looked happy. "Sure. Never really had that offered to me before, so you KNOW I'll want to."

"Ok, now that you're done naming your teams, I must re-introduce a crucial aspect of the show." Chris began. "It's our trusty old confessional in the bathroom. There, you can air your dirtiest laundry both literally and figuratively."

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Confessional: Player

Player: So I can say whatever I want here? Cool. Though I'm sure someone will do that to say something really bad. Anyways, I'm in this to win, and I think I'm smarter than about, say, half the cast, so I'm pretty much guaranteed to make it halfway through, as long as I do good in challenges.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: I came here to challenge myself with people who I couldn't have possibly battled in my universe, but first impressions, thus far, are mostly disappointing.

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Confessional: Ash Ketchum

Ash: Shame Pikachu wasn't allowed to come with me, it would've been so fun together!

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Confessional: Brody

Brody: Yo Geoff, you see this? I'm on Total Drama! It's gonna be WICKED with me here!

Chris opens the confessional door.

Chris: Dude, keep it quiet would you?

Brody: 'Kay dude.

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: I much prefer that other show's confessionals, since at least I know there that they don't film me bloody pooping all over. But anyways, my team, for the lack of a better word, sucks. We've got an idiot who says his name all the time, an idiot who has no idea what is going on, an idiot who constantly looks at her phone, and some girl obsessed with cocoa. I'm fucked.

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Confessional: Amy

Amy: When I was researching Total Drama and found out how many sweet, sweet romances happened there, I was PUMPED, excited that this will be my way of finally getting Sonic to admit his feelings, and I feel this'll happen in about, say, 4 episodes tops.

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Confessional: Sonic

Sonic: Amy's regressed back into a simp, great. At least Cream's here, and she's fine.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby was writing something in one of her files.

Cabby: Hmmm, the amount of I'll have to write in these here files for my fellow contestants, especially compared to Inanimate Insanity, is staggering.

She puts her file back in her cabinet.

Cabby: I hope Leafy doesn't feel too strongly about writing so much personal information, because after all, I very much need it with me at all times.

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy just smacks his diaper the whole time, not saying a word, at most having a derpy ass face.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: I'm currently analizing which of these people would satisfy my urges. Currently, Jeffy, Toby Queef, Homer, Mae, Chris and Leafy are at the top of my list with me, Player, Gumshoe and Wonder Woman at the very bottom. Note that no one is safe, not even me.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: MY WHOLE TEAM'S AWESOME! E-Except Jeffy, and Johnny, and Ashley, a-and...

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Confessional: Nichelle Ladonna

Nichelle: After 2 early 'liminations this girl's gettin' to the finals FOR SURE! If I can beat that dumb Bea, I might as well be immune to the top 4.

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Confessional: Connor

Connor: Hey Conheads! I've come here to suggest voting ME for next election! I've been interested in politics from a very young age, so I probably have more knowledge of America's issues than these guys here. So just gonna remind you, a vote for Connor is a vote for honor!

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie was chugging down a cup of cocoa as usual.

Cocoa: Nothing beats a good ol' cup o' cocoa.

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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe

Gumshoe: Hey pals! I came here to say Pillow scares me! Bye!

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: I promised my lord that I will do well in this game. Not sure if I will, but I'll try my best.

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Confessional: Homer Simpson

Homer: Ah, where am I? Did all the beer I drunk make me hallucinate again? Well if it did, this is a pretty cool hallucination.

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: This whole freakshow is like an SNL skit, and one of the worse ones at that. Thank god for this handsome face, or else the ratings would've cancelled the show after episode one.

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"Now that we've established how the show works." Chris began. "Our first challenge shall commence! Meet me at the cliffside in an hour or two, there, you'll experience a recreation of our very first challenge on Total Drama!"

"Leave it up to Mr. McLean to not bother doing anything original." Sonic remarked in his usual snarky tone.

"At least I know what works, unlike you, Sonic!" He replied, shocking Sonic.

Chris coughed a bit. "Anyway, I suggest to go to the cliff right...now!" Chris then called a helicopter to take him straight to the top of the iconic Wawanakwa cliff.

Almost everyone groaned that they had to walk all the way over there.

"Good thing I'm a fast guy." Sonic said before he ran at supersonic speed and instantly arrived at his destination.

"Hey, we should at least be happy someone from our team arrived first." Player remarked. "As for us, well, we're gonna need to walk a lot slower."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Normally, I would simply fly there with my jetpack, but I've decided to save it for later, in case I'm considered a threat for having one.

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It had been around an hour after Chris left, and all 3 teams were about halfway though their trip.

First up was Team Cocoa, who were struggling with their energy at the moment.

"Ah, my feet are killing me." Nick complained. "T-This sucks so much."

"OMG, I know right?" Lumpy Space Princess replied. "I feel like I'm gonna, like, pass out at any moment!"

"You're literally floating, how can you get tired?" Player asked.

"Have you ever fwoated Pwayer?" Mr. Cheese asked him back.

"I've been ejected into space countless times in Among Us, and so have you."

"Since when did it take so long to walk to Moe's place?" Homer also asked.

"And do you have any idea what is going on?" Player said.

"Like I ever do."

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Confessional: Monika

Monika: Why did I ever sign up to this show?

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With Team Rose, they were having a much easier time walking than the others, with no one getting exhausted at all.

"This is getting boring mon." Dee Jay said. "I heard the show was gonna be fun, yet all we've done is walk around for hours like minimum wage workers!"

"Oh It'll get fun sooner or later Dee Jay." Nichelle told him. "If you consider constant threats to your life fun."

"Good to know that mon! Any unusual activity is fun for me!"

"Amazing to see such positivity from somebody." Wonder Woman remarked.

"Positivity is for fags only!" Toby Queef yelled out.

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: Fuck you!

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Sanders was annoyed by that comment. "You're such a vile person you know. Cream, don't listen to anything this man says.

"Okay Miss Sanders."

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Confessional: BanBan

BanBan: All this constant drama from everyone is draining my soul, even more so than what happens in my games.

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Now all the teams were at the cliffside, ready to go all the way to the top.

Team PeePee were the second team to arrive, mostly because Jeffy forgot how to walk several times for some reason.

Brody started yelling in excitement. "WOOH! We're at the cliff! Take that other team!"

Ashley butted in. "We still need to reach the top, idiot. So don't celebrate just yet."

"Whatever party pooper."

"Guys, I got a good idea!" Rottytops began. "How 'bout I split my body and y'all carry a part? That's one less person needin' to catch up with the rest."

"Can I take the titties?" Jeffy asked.

"No." Everyone else said in unison.

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: That kid can go suck it!

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And finally, everyone was at the top of the cliff. Team Cocoa came last but they technically got first place since Sonic got there immediately. Second were Team Rose, by far the strongest of the teams. Team PeePee, obviously, came in last.

Chris was there with them, ready to announce the challenge. "Congratulations to all three teams for making that 2 hour trip. Y'all must be exhausted right 'bout now? Except Sonic, he's been here this whole time."

"Sure I was man." Sonic replied.

"Unfortunately, due to this episodes's already long run time, I'm forced to end this here. Who will be the first one out? Which interactions of today are gonna be important later on? Are we even gonna make it to double digits episodes? Find out next time on...

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal Madness!"

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Aaaaand that's a wrap! Hope you guys enjoyed the first episode!

But anyways, do you have any critiques? Did I write anyone out of character(probably did)? Did a joke not land? I'm open for any criticism that isn't just insulting me.

A few notes before we end off:

-Chef will not be a co-host this time for a reason I can't get into. There will be 2 interns who will take his role, but I'd take around 3-4 episodes for them to come in.

-I haven't watched any episodes of SuperMarioLogan since 2017 or videos by Gametoons(who made Among Us Logic) since around mid-2021, so anything after that will just be disregarded. Which is good since their videos suck nowadays.

-Haven't played Street Fighter 6 but I have played 4, so Dee Jay's characterization is mostly from the latter.

-Ash is from the anime Pokemon canon, Bea is from the games.

-The latest season of BFDI, which Pillow is in, is still ongoing, but this takes place after it ends so I'll be vague about it for now.

-Boba Fett is from before Return Of The Jedi, because I feel it's more interesting to write than if he was from post-Book Of Boba Fett.

-Challenge suggestions are allowed!

Ciao!

Chapter Text

The second episode of Multiversal Madness has arrived!

Today will be our very first challenge, which is, fittingly, a blast from the past of season 1 episode 2!

Just in case anyone's wondering, Mr. Cheese is supposed to pronounce L's as W's. I don't replace the former with the latter all the time, mostly because I want people to understand what he's saying half the time.

Who will be the first to leave the game? Find out now!

Chris starts the episode off by recapping the events of the previous one.

"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness!"

Footage from the previous episode starts to play in the background while Chris narrates over it.

"Our 36 contestants were introduced one by one, all ready to win it all. Most of them, at least."

"There was a large amount of interactions between the campers, some dramatic, some hilarious and some just plain weird."

"3 teams of 12 were formed and people already started fighting."

"And finally, at the end, the whole cast went to the iconic cliff of Camp Wawanakwa to begin their very first challenge."

The stock footage stops as Chris is finally shown on screen.

"Now, which teams are going to win? What alliances will be made? And most importantly, who will be the first eliminated? Find out now on

Total

Drama

Multiversal

Madness!"

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We were back where we left off last episode, at the cliff with all 36 contestants and Chris himself, gleefully awaiting the chaos that will ensue shortly.

"And now we're back on Total Drama Multiversal Madness!" He began. "Your first challenge is a recreation of our very first back in 2007. All you need to do is simply jump off this 1000 foot cliff and into the water! The team with the least amount of jumpers shall go to the season's very first elimination ceremony, where they will vote off one of their own, and never come back ever!"

Most of the campers were at the very least concerned, if not terrified, hearing what the challenge is about.

"Are you insane? We can potentially die in this challenge!" Monika complained.

Nichelle didn't look bothered by this. "Eh, you'll get used to it eventually, and trust me, there's way worse stuff comin' up ahead, I'm sure of it."

Brody decided to chime in as well. "Yeah dudette! My bro Geoff jumped off the same cliff and he was just fine 'n dandy!"

"Geoff's kind of...not very bright so I doubt I'll clear up the fear everyone else has." Sanders counteracted.

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: Trust me, I saw those two in action for a few weeks or so, I know what I'm talking about.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Why is everyone so scared of the freakin' water? If my computer wife can live there just fine, these guys are just being a buncha drama queens!

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"Now, since Team Cocoa technically arrived first by virtue of Sonic, they're the first ones to jump. Any objections?"

The entirety of Team Cocoa minus Pillow and Homer and plus Jeffy raised their hands.

"You people are no fun." Chris complained. "But whatever. Team Cocoa, better make sure to get as many jumpers as humanly possible!"

Both Team Rose and Team Pee Pee stepped away a bit to let Team Cocoa jump.

Monika decided to get her whole team into a circle except Homer because he passed out AGAIN!

"Alright everybody, if we want to win this challenge, we need as many jumpers as we can, so first, I suggest we write off anyone who can't jump, and I've already got an idea of who shouldn't."

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: Please be me, please be me!

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"...And that someone is obviously Connor!"

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: FUCK!

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"M-me, what did I do wrong?"

Monika shrugged. "Pretty simple reason: You're by far the oldest on our team, making you the most vulnerable."

"Come on, give me a chance to prove myself!"

"Unfortunately sir, she's right." Ash said. "Besides, we've still got 11 other jumpers!"

Sonic looked at the water in fear "Ugh, make that 10."

"Why exactly is that?" Monika asked.

"I-It's nothing!"

Player's inner nerd sense started tingling. "Wow, you don't know anything about Sonic, do you? He fears water and can't swim at all, that's like one of his most notable character traits!"

"So you're a nerd?" Nick snarked. "Disappointing to hear, I thought you were one of the more sensible people on the team."

"Hey!"

Mr. Cheese, for some unexplained reason, decided to leave his team and go off on his own.

"Wha? Did Mr. Cheese seriously just bail on us?" Player said, bewildered by this.

"Oh yeah he absolutely did." Pillow answered.

"Great, we're already down 3 players." Monika complained.

"Make that 4, cuz I'm not getting my jacket wet." Nick said.

"Seriously? Do any of you actually want to win?" Player complained to his teammates.

"I-I do! Is that enough?" Ash answered.

"I guess."

"Um guys?" Cocoa Cookie asked. "Homer's fallen asleep again!"

Cut to Homer, who has passed out asleep again.

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Confessional: Player

Player: Does the universe hate me?

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"It doesn't matter." Pillow said. "What's stopping us from just throwing him over the cliff?"

Chris suddenly appears to them. "That's against the rules of the challenge. We at Total Drama respect player's consent, unless not doing so gives more drama."

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: Aw shucks. Throwin' him down would've been so fun.

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"Guess we're down to nearly half our team now." Player sarcastically remarked. "Better hope the other team sucks more."

"Then what are, like, waiting for? Let's jump!" LSP said.

And so, the members of Team Cocoa finally started jumping.

First one to do so was Monika, who managed to safely land in the water. "WHOO! That wasn't so bad!" She yelled at the bottom.

"Well, guess it ain't that dangerous after all." Player said. "Continue jumping."

Soon after what Player said, the rest of his team jumped as well. Him, Ash and Mae all jumped at around the same time and landed just fine. But then, when LSP tried to do so...

"Uh, guys? How does your girl, who like, floats, jump into the, like, water?"

"Just try not floating, I guess." Connor told her.

"That's like the thing, I can't. Literally impossible."

She then demonstrated it by floating to the water and lightly entering it. "So Chris, does this like, count?"

"Nope, it very much doesn't!"

"See?"

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Confessional: Lumpy Space Princess

LSP: 'Least my team won't, like, hold it 'gainst me right?

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Confessional: Monika

Monika: That bitch!

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Confessional: Lumpy Space Princess

"I'm just gonna, like, watch some TikTok, 'kay?" She said before pulling out her phone and doing just that.

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Player tried reassuring his team. "Come on guys, we've still got Cocoa and Pillow, right?"

At the top Cocoa Cookie was frozen in fear and Pillow was frozen for no reason.

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie was drinking a lot of cocoa at once out of stress.

Cocoa Cookie: Oh what do I what do I do?

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"Um, maybe you can, I dunno, close your eyes and pretend the water is just cocoa?" Sonic suggested.

"What? Sonic you're a genius! Water isn't all that different from Cocoa, and I love cocoa! Well then, see ya after we win!"

Cocoa Cookie then finally jumped from the cliff and landed right on Player, injuring the crewmate.

"Oh, you ok sir?" She asked, concerned about him.

Player laid a thumbs up. "F-Fine, just get off me please."

At the top, the last jumper, Pillow, was preparing to do just that.

She got on her feet and jumped into the air, waiting to fall in the water...

That is, until she got blown by the wind and went straight onto the other side of the island.

"SERIOUSLY!?" The entirety of Team Cocoa screamed in unison.

"Yes, seriously." Chris sarcastically answered. "So, Team Cocoa had 5 out of 12 members jump, which is less than half. That's pretty bad. Your only hope is for another team to do worse."

The whole team looked seriously disappointed at their performance.

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Confessional: Sonic

Sonic: When I say Gotta Go Fast, I'm not refering to getting voted off first.

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Meanwhile, in the woods of Camp Wawanakwa, the one and only Mr. Cheese was going around all by himself, seemingly thinking of a plan of some kind.

"Hmmm, what do, what do?" He thought to himself, loudly of course. "Maybe, Mr. Cheese can-" Before he could finish what he said, Mr. Cheese accidentally falls into a tent because he didn't pay attention to his surroundings.

"Cheese Louise." He manages to mutter going back up on his feet and seeing what was in the tent.

It seemed to be some kind of headquarters for Chris or someone working on the show. There was a two sized bed, a jacuzzi, a TV and even a Gaming PC. That last in particular caught the attention of Mr. Cheese, who went to it, got on the gaming chair, and managed to enter his account on Windows.

After fucking around for a while, he went to the Steam application, got on his Steam library and saw that he owned the game Doki Doki Literature Club.

"Interesting." He muttered as he double clicked on the game with his mouse.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Oh does Mr. Cheese gonna have a big brain move comin' right up!

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It was now Team Rose's turn to jump down the cliff. Contrary to the previous team, they were nowhere near as hesitant as them, with at most 3 being scared of jumping.

"So who's gonna jump first? Just in case." Sanders asked them.

"Oh, oh! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" Amy begged as she jumped up and down like a toddler. "Sonic's gon' be real jealous to see me go into the water first, I can feel it!"

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: Guess those two are like a gender swapped Emma and Chase. Hopefully the Chase here ain't a sociopath like last time.

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"Do what you want mon, it really don't matter." Dee Jay told her.

"SWEET!" Amy yelled out. "For Sonic!" She then jumped into the water at ferocious speed and landed faster than you can say "Oof".

Dee Jay was quite impressed. "Oh, that girl's got some cool moves!"

"Such is the power of horny teenage girls." Sanders remarked.

Then, both of them jumped

Frisk jumped in without having a single reaction, as usual.

Bea was preparing herself for the jump, before being interrupted by who else but Nichelle.

"Yo, seems you're ready for anythin' here." She said.

"...I am, but I don't see any good reason for you to interrupt me." Bea responded.

"Oh, y'know, just wanted ya to know that I do, in fact, respect you, if you happened to get the wrong idea."

"...Sure."

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Nothing screams more respect than harassing someone you've just met.

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"I wanna have a lil rival all to myself, , and you're the perfect candidate! Say, you gonna move or what?"

Bea had a little smile on her face. "...I will, but you go first."

"'Kay, lemme-" Bea then proceeded to grab Nichelle's whole body feet first. "Hey, let go of me you psycho!"

Bea dropped Nichelle off the cliff before also jumping herself right afterwards.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: That little jerk! She thinks she's so above me to just drop my ass down that thousand feet long cliff! I'll take her down as if my life depends on it!

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Did I have any regrets about what I did to her? Yes, I should've done more.

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Next we had Donald Duck, who flew to the bottom with his wings. Chris then went over to him.

"Nope, not counting it man." He said.

"[ANGRY DUCK NOISES]"

"FOR AMERICA!" Toby Queef yelled before he let out a cannonball into the ocean.

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: Back in Afghanistan, me 'n the boys used to jump o' them helicopters whilst also firing our AK-47s in the air, shooting any Ayrab nearby.

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Wonder Woman and Boba Fett were the next ones to go, and jumped pretty easily.

This means that the last member of Team Rose is Banban, who, for some unknown reason, decided against jumping.

"So, Team Rose has managed to have 10 out of 12 jump!" Chris declared. "This means that they're pretty much safe from elimination and that Team Cocoa will lose a member unless Team Pee Pee somehow does worse!"

Everyone on Team Cocoa was almost certain they'll lose the challenge.

Regardless of that, Player still tries reassuring his team. "Come on guys, we're still in! So long as the other team does worse, we're safe!"

Meanwhile, Cocoa Cookie was covering her face in her cup out of fear, Monika slapped herself, and Homer was still asleep at the top.

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Confessional: Player

Player: Ok we're screwed.

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Now, it was finally Team Pee Pee's turn to compete in the challenge. Chris himself greeted them right before they started.

"Alright Team Word-I-Can't-Pronounce-Because-This-Is-A-Family-Show, you're the last dudes and dudettes left who need to jump. All you need to be safe is to not have half or more of your members not jump. Should be real easy, okay?"

All the members of Team Pee Pee (or at least the ones who physically could) nodded their heads.

"Good." Chris declared. "Get, set, GO!"

The first on their team to step in was Johnny Cage. "Alright, all you losers step back. Let me show you what a real star can do!"

"Johnny, that's not nice!" Leafy yelled out.

"Don't care!" Johnny yelled back before he jumped off the cliff and took a selfie at the exact same time.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby was once again writing in her files.

Cabby: That selfie making skill of his is incredible!

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Leafy then went over to Jeffy. "So, Jeffy, I see you're feeling pretty nice today, huh? How 'bout you jump down, huh?"

"Why?" Jeffy bluntly asked.

"Because we need to win the challenge, and winning challenges is a nice thing to do!"

"Why?"

"Because being nice is the only thing you should ever do!"

"Why?"

"Because I said so!"

"Why?"

"Screw it, I'll jump myself because unlike you, I'm nice!" Leafy said before jumping...

...And then the wind blew her right back to her prior position.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: Does this mean The Lord himself is not nice? *Gasp*, then that means I should be an atheist!

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"WOOOOOOO! Let's go!" Brody yelled before jumping straight down.

Cordelia also jumped, but didn't bother making a big deal about it.

"Alright, this shouldn't be hard at all!" Plankton says before going down...and then having the worst day in his life.

"OW!" He said as he hit part of the cliff.

"Oof!" As he hit one again.

"AH!"

"Ouch!"

"UGH!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

Then he finally got on the ground, looking badly injured.

"Oh my Files, someone call an ambulance!" Cabby yelled.

"Alright, I'll go put him in the medical tent!" Chris replied.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton was in a full body cast, barely conscious.

Plankton: Uh, Can someone call Karen to tell her I-

He then loses what was left of his consciousness.

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"Is Plankton gonna be okay?" Brody asked. "I'd suck for real if he got out like that!"

Chris reassured him. "Relax, he'll be fine. Contestants only get out via injuries if I feel like it, and right now, I don't!"

"Not sure If that's such a good idea, morally or pragmatically." Cabby muttered.

"You nerds shut it and get on with the challenge!" Chris yelled out from below. "Oh and by the way, that did count, so you should at least be a little happy!"

Gumshoe didn't even try jumping. "Um, pals, I'm sorry, but I don't feel like jumping!"

Leafy looked shocked. "I thought you were a nice person Gumshoe! Nice people jump!"

"I know I know, but I simply can't!"

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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe

Gumshoe: On my first assignment as a detective, the chief made me clean his daughter's fish bowl. I felt so bad at that poor fish for not having a home, I've developed a phobia of anything water related ever since! That's one of the reasons I mainly drink coffee, pal.

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"Guys, I suggest you come over to me." Ashley said. "I've got an idea that can win us the challenge easily!"

Sure enough, Nightwing, Mona and Rottytops all went to her.

"I'm gonna use a little teleportation spell to get us right below the waters, thus sparing ourselves from any harm!"

"Isn't that a little dangerous, pal?" Gumshoe asked.

"Quit ruining the fun, bozo." Rottytops replied to him.

Ashley said something in Latin, which casted some purple aura around the 4 of them, and then it teleported all 4 right below the water, getting them wet.

"Ashley, that was a great idea!" Nightwing said as he swam back to shore.

"Don't celebrate just yet." Chris countered. "Since none of you 4 actually jumped, just teleported, it won't count."

"WHAT?" Rottytops yelled out. "Are you freakin' serious?"

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: I won't say its unfair out loud, but it is.

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"1000% serious everyone, which means you currently have less jumpers than Team Cocoa!"

"B-But say, Chris, what would happen if both teams tied, since I'm more or less the only one who's going to?" Cabby hesitantly asked.

"Oh simple. Since Team Cocoa arrived first on the challenge site, you guys are gonna lose anyway unless more of you jump!"

"Holy guaca fucking mole!" Jeffy yelled. "That's fuckin' crazy!"

Cabby was getting nervous, starting to sweat and look around, desperate to come up with a way for her team to win.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: I've been put in quite the problematic situation. If my team wins, not only do I have to jump, but at least one of the three who still hasn't will need too as well. I don't want to force Gumshoe into doing so, Jeffy will refuse not matter what, and Leafy is unlikely to reach the bottom with that wind around! Um, what do, what do?

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After a little while of thinking, Cabby finally came up with a good strategy. In that moment, a lightbulb came above her head.

"Aha! I've got it! Jeffy, would you want to sit in my cabinet, hmmm?"

Jeffy danced around like a maniac. "Oh I'd fucking LOVE TO! Sign me the fuck up!"

"Alright then. Lemme just..." Cabby then opened her bottom cabinet. "Here. Hop in boy."

"Jeffy gonna have lotta fun bitch!" Jeffy said before he entered Cabby's cabinet.

"Alright Cabby." She muttered to herself. "Let's do this!"

She then used her wheels to run off the cliff, and when she was falling, she quickly opened the cabinet with Jeffy in it, causing him to fall as well.

"What the fuck? I didn't agree to this shit! Daddy, BRING ME A FUCKING LAWYER!"

And so, the both of them finally fell into the water, officially securing their team a victory.

"With that epic strat Cabby made, Team Pee Pee takes second place in the challenge and all their members live for another day!"

The whole of Team Pee Pee celebrate their win, most of them anyway.

"Are you fucking serious? That whore fucking tricked me! Why are you celebrating a whore?"

"Kid, shut your retarded ass up. If she didn't do that, you'd be toast." Johnny Cage told him.

"And I wouldn't call someone a whore if I were you." Rottytops said, making Jeffy gasp (not sure if it was because of what she said, or her cleavage).

"As for Team Cocoa." Chris said.

Most of Team Cocoa looked down on the ground, defeated.

"I'll be seeing ya tonight, at the elimination. And I think you're already thinking of who to vote off."

Everyone on the team (except Pillow) stares at Homer.

"What did I do?" Homer asked. "I didn't strangle Bart to death or anythin', so what did I do wrong?"

Player facepalmed.

As Team Cocoa accepted their loss, they were reunited with a familiar figure.

"Sup guys, my name's Mr. Cheese! How'd the chawwenge go?"

They all stared at him even harder than Homer.

"Probabwy not well, I think."

"You literally left us for no reason!" Nick yelled.

"Yeah, we could've won the challenge if you stayed, Mr. Cheese." Player added.

"So what, we don't win all the time, right? Even the best impostor wike me can make a few mistakes."

"Sometimes, those few mistakes cost ya a bunch." Sonic replied. "After all, you can't come back from dying, can you?"

"Siwwy Sonic, you can come back from dying however you want in Among us! Just pway a different game."

"Ok, you actually did make a good point." Sonic said in a sarcastic tone.

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Confessional: Sonic

Sonic: Man, Mr. Cheese is wack. He's getting outta here first for sure!

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Outside of Team Rose's cabin, specifically the campfire, most of their members were celebrating their win in the first challenge.

"WOOO! To Team Rose guys!" Nichelle said excitedly. "But especially me."

"Miss, I suggest not taking credit for everyone's work, especially when your contribution wasn't the best." Boba Fett countered back.

Cream agreed with him. "You're right Mister. Good thing mommy taught me to minimize my pride!"

"I for one am wondering how a team with so many NI-NJAS managed to win over the superior specimen!" Toby Queef ranted, which, by this point, was more or less ignored by everyone.

"I must say we did good work mon." Dee Jay began. "Imma go check up on a Bea and she what she's doin', ya okay with that?"

"Oh, can I come along?" Nichelle asked.

"No."

Dee Jay than went into the cabin. There, he saw that Bea was working out, doing pushups at the moment.

"117,118,119,120. *pant*, done! Oh, Dee Jay, didn't...see you here."

"Sup Bea, I just came to say that you're doing great mon! Really impressed with your strength, both in character and in your body."

"...When you have to keep up these muscles so that you can keep your public image, you wind up working out virtually every time you've got nothing else to do."

"I get that feeling sometimes, mon. My fans need to know my rhythm's still in, to a sometimes exhausting degree, but I can always take it."

"...Good for you then."

"Wanna talk some more later? Maybe train or just battle in general?"

"...Gladly."

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Girl's tough as nails, perfect ally for game! And it's also nice having new friend!

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Meanwhile, Team Pee Pee was more subdued with their celebration, everyone was happy obviously, but also wary they could be in a similar bad spot later.

"Well, we did it, we all survived the first challenge." Johnny Cage said. "Pretty surprised, since, even with my strong body, this team seemed fucked up at first glance. I mean, we've got a retarded kid, a stalker cabinet, a self righteous idiot, bumbling buffoon of a detective and a zombie."

"Johnny, it would be very nice to not use such mean language around us!" Leafy said.

"Yeah man, besides, we were only in a tight spot cuz of Chris's lame rules!" Brody added.

"I mean, he's still pretty darn right 'bout us bein' a team of weirdos, y'know?"

"Whatever." Ashley replied.

"Hey, does anyone have an idea if Plankton's alright?" Cabby asked.

"Ah, he fuckin' died." Jeffy answered. "Plankton's only exist underwater, how the hell can he live on land?"

"Somehow, the kid actually said something logical." Johnny Cage said.

Suddenly, the intercom (which Chris is usually in control of) started to speak. "Plankton's totally fine dudes! He'd be back in the middle of the night, so you won't even remember he left by the morning!"

"Darn, that's good to know man!"

"Took those words right out my mouth pal. E-Except I don't use words like ''darn'' or ''man'' in my vocalbulary in the way you do, sir."

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Confessional: Brody

Brody: So far, this place has been a blast! I dunno why Geoff doesn't wanna come here 'gain, his loss!

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And finally, Team Cocoa was not having a good time AT ALL. Not only did they do spectacularly bad in today's fairly easy challenge, with half their members not even trying, but they also had to vote someone off, and while they were a group of 12 and had some obvious targets, it still wouldn't erase the dread of you getting suddenly eliminated for what you felt was no good reason.

"So, who you guys planning to vote off?" Nick began. "I'd go for Homer, that guy's straight up useless!"

"I for one want to get rid of Mr. Cheese, since at least it seems Homer's got no idea what he's doing." Sonic argued.

"Guys, can we please come to a consensus?" Player asked. "Fighting constantly like this would just make the vote more chaotic!"

"And who, like, asked for your, like, opinion?" LSP snapped back. "Oh wait, like, no one!"

"And what about you, LSP? All you've been doing is starring at your phone all day, not even trynna encourage us."

"And you like smell bad!"

Suddenly Mr. Cheese came in and abruptly ended the conversation. "Guys, Mr. Cheese is having a gaming party! Y'all can come except Pwayer, cuz he's a woser, and not a real gamer wike us!"

"Hey!"

"Playing video games is a good way to pass the time, so let's do it!" Ash said.

"Even if you do badly, it would be fun to see you lose." Sonic remarked.

"Man, while I'm not really a gamer, I would want to get more in touch with the younger generations." Connor declared. "F-For the next election of course. Dabbing's a bit too direct."

The rest of Team Cocoa went to follow Mr. Cheese for his gaming session, leaving Player all alone. At least, until Monika returns from the bathroom.

"Hey, where is everyone?"

"Oh, they left for a gaming session, somehow, and they didn't invite me!"

"That must be quite unfortunate Player, but hey, boys will be boys!"

"Pretty sure Mae, Cocoa Cookie, Lumpy Space Princess and Pillow are girls Monika. Unless you think they're trans or something."

"Wait What?"

"N-Nevermind."

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Man, I reawwy need to make sure Pwayer weaves as quickwy as possible, but for now, that's plan b.

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It was late at night, the skies were dark, the atmosphere was spooky, and Team Cocoa was heading towards the elimination site. They all walked calmly towards it, even if they were a bit spooked as they felt something was watching them. That something was probably just the cameras though.

And then, all 12 members were gathered at the campfire. There were 11 stools, the same ones from the very first Total Drama season, with LSP simply floating next to them.

Strangely, almost everyone on the team looked wary of Monika.

Finally, Chris came in for the very first elimination of Total Drama: Multiversal Madness.

"So, Team Cocoa, how does it feel to be the first losers in a challenge?"

"Pretty like, crappy." LSP replied.

"I'd call it something else, but Chris wouldn't let me say it." Sonic added.

"Love that enthusiasm! Anyways, Team Cocoa, I've got exactly 11 marshmellows on this plate of mine. If I call your name, that means you're safe from elimination and get to munch on a sweet, sweet little marshmellow! But if I don't, that means you're out, to never come back to the show ever! Especially this season, as there are no rejoins. And finally, when you get eliminated, you'll have to stay in our brand new elimination area for the rest of the season, which is..."

We cut to a giant metal box next to the island. It has an open lid and on it, the words "Tiny Loser Chamber" are written, with some poorly scribbled text also saying "of Shame".

"The TLC of Shame!"

"TLC of Shame? What's with that thing?" Ash asked.

"Oh, it's the Tiny Loser Chamber! When I failed to join the second season of reality show Battle For Dream Island, me and the other failed applicants were sent there and lived in that box for 5 years!" Pillow casually explained.

"T-That's not legal!" Nick said. "And I thought my universe's hosts were bad!"

"That's what happens when a country is pretty much just total anarchy!" Pillow explained even further. "We're pretty lucky permanent death is nonexistent in Goiky!"

"Ignoring that bit of exposition, there's one more thing needed to be said before you cast your votes! Me explaining who you should vote off! Normally Chef does this, but due to certain reasons I can't get into, I'll have to do it myself."

"Oh god." Player said.

"Mr. Cheese!"

"What, did Mr. Cheese not do good boss?"

"You abandoned your team at the start of the challenge when your contribution would've almost surely resulted in their win. Might not wanna pull off a Chase, would you."

"Whatever. I'm sure the game night we had more than makes up for it."

"It sure does!" Connor confirms.

"Shut up. Anyway, next up is...Homer!"

Homer, who was sleeping again woke up from being called, again. "Whoa, why me?"

"You keep slacking off all the time and are generally useless."

"But I'm a nuclear physicist! Doubt anyone else here has a degree on that!"

"I do have one, in fact." Pillow said. "I even have proof!" Pillow than shows whar seems to be a child's drawing of a lawyer degree.

"D'ough!"

"And finally...Lumpy Space Princess."

"But like, why?"

"You just look at your phone all day and nothing else. Not a good look I must say."

"What are you, like, talking about? Cocoa Cookie's got like, a way worse look than me!

"Don't be mean." She replied.

"Alright, now cast your votes everyone! And pray you don't get a vote yourself."

"I'm atheist, mate." Nick said. "And besides, we all have a good idea of who to vote for, right?"

"Yeah we do baby." Mr. Cheese added.

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor was writing a name with a pen and paper.

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Confessional: Monika

Monika was showing the camera that she voted for Homer.

Monika: Good riddance! Never come back and never try to come back.

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"Now, everyone's casted their votes, This one wasn't close at all, but a surprising result regardless."

"Yeah right." Player said. "Cuz Homer's a big surprise, huh?"

"Whatever you say dude. Anywho, the ones with no votes, who will be receiving a marshmellow immediately, are:"

"Ash"

"Pillow"

"Cocoa Cookie"

"Mae"

"Player"

"Nick"

"Connor Roy."

"Mr. Cheese."

"Aw yeah baby, you can't beat the cheese!"

"And Sonic."

"Homer, LSP and Monika. You three have all received at least one vote. Two tied with just one vote, while the other got a whooping 10 votes."

"What?!" Monika questioned. "How am I in the bottom three?! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Same, I don't understand. We never considered Monika in our discussions!" Player remarked as well, shocked about the results.

"Seems you're out the loop kid." Connor answered him. "Kinda like me with the family."

"Ok, so, the second to last safe is...

Homer!"

"WOOOO! I am so smart! I am so smart!"

"Mr. Cheese, what d-did you do?" Player asked, confused why the hell Monika was at the bottom.

"My name's simply Mr. Cheese baby."

"Ok, now, the last one safe with just one vote is..."

We focused on Monika, then LSP, then Monika, then Lsp, then Monika.

"...Lumpy Space Princess."

The final marshmellow is then tossed at LSP, with her not paying attention at all to what was happening because she was on her phone.

"Monika, you're the first one out of Total Drama Multiversal Madness with exactly 10 votes.

"WHAT?! This has to be rigged, there's no way I'm the first voted off!"

"Deal with it, you psycho." Sonic says.

"What are you talking about?! I'm innocent!"

"Not according to everyone on your team but Player apparently. Now go to the Dock of Shame, please!"

Monika then went to the dock of shame, still complaining about her elimination. "No no no no NO! It's not fair! It's not-" Before she could react, Monika was out of nowhere hit with a giant boxing glove on a spring. "FAAAIIIIIRRRRRR!" She yelled out in the air, and then landed straight into the TLC of shame, with its lid closed the moment she got in.

"This little thing everyone, I'd like to call, the Fist Thingy of Despair!"

"Fist thingy of despair, wow, and I thought my nicknames were bad." Sonic snarked.

"Are you seriously ripping off Object Shows now? Disgusting." Pillow said.

"Oh I totally am!"

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Confessional: Player

Player: Ok, what the heck's going on? Why did everyone vote for Monika? What did Mr. Cheese tell them?

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: So Mr. Cheese did a wittle trolling by pwaying Monika's game, which scared the crap outta these wosers! We all agreed to vote her off in secret so she would be blindsided. Oh yeah baby, Mr. Cheese is goin' for that cheddar!

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"And that concludes our second episode and first elimination! Will Player realize what was happening, will Nichelle stop bothering Bea, or will Jeffy stop being so retarded? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Multiversal Madness!"

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At around the same time, we see that a boat with two men is approaching Camp Wawanakwa. They both looked like some low polly 3d models from the Nintendo 64.

"Chris are we there yet? Chris are we there yet? Chris are we there yet?" Said the one with brown hair.

"Oh my god Swag, can you shut the fuck up? You must've said this like millions of times by now!" Chris (not that Chris) angrily replied. "And besides, we're nearly there! You can literally see the island from up here!"

"Alright Chris, but will there be any good boobies?"

"It has been explicitly stated in our contracts that we can't in any way be horny with the contestants, so keep your virgin asshole in check for now!"

"*sob" He said out loud.

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And that was our second episode! Now, the last scene has teased who the interns are. If you have any decent knowledge of who they are, you've probably already figured them out, but I'll only properly reveal them next chapter.

Some notes for the episode:

-Gumshoe's aquaphobia is not actually canon, as far as I know. It was just added in cuz it would be funny and characteristic of him.

-The reason Mr. Cheese excluded Player from his gaming session is because he was afraid that, since the latter knew him well, his scheme wouldn't work.

-If I actually knew how to write Monika, she'd certainly make it further and Homer would get the boot easily, but alas, it just wasn't meant to be.

-Man was the challenge really boring to write at times. Mainly because I had to describe the actions of EVERYONE, and that's difficult when some of them are so bland and unimportant.

-I wrote pretty fast!

Anyways, I'll announce the next challenge will be a science fair! It was originally a talent show identical to the one from OG Island, but with guest judges, and was scrapped cuz it was boring (not helping was the fact that most of the talents would've been singing a song). This one will have guest judges so I'll give some hints on who they are: One's got a grudge on a certain object, one screams a lot, and one is super horny.

Ciao!

Please leave a review! Especially if you have some critiques!

36th: Monika-The Poet

Chapter Text

We've somehow managed to hit episode 3 guys! Pretty fuckin' cool.

Today's contest is a simple science fair. Some people are delighted by this, others are bored cuz it's nerd shit.

Yin-Yang Master: Not exactly my best joke in my opinion, but glad you like it!

Anon: Good to see you're excited.

And with that, it's time we begin this episode!

Oh, and no, there won't be a recap from now on. It's pointless when you can read the other chapters so easily.

Also, I'm not gonna respond to reviews from now on unless they actually feel in depth.

Warning for some pretty perverted jokes here, as usual.

Also a preemptive apology to all autists out there, for a few jokes might trigger you if you're particularly sensitive.

Episode 3: A scientific guide to homosexuality, autism, and nfts

It was around 7 in the morning on Camp Wawanakwa. The sun was starting to shine, the birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and all 35 remaining participants were sleeping like babies.

At Team Pee Pee's cabin, everyone was asleep. Highlights include Cabby standing asleep, Brody having fallen out of his bed, and Jeffy looking like he fell asleep whilst humping his pillow (because he probably did).

Their peace is cut short however, when Plankton bursts through their door.

"Uh HELLLOOOOO!" He yelled. "Which one of you losers got out huh?"

Cordelia was the first to wake up. "Ugh, Plankton? Are you okay?"

"Damn right I am! If my evil genius can stand Mr. Krabs and his ilk, injuries like that are nothing!"

"Say that again when you get cut in half." Snarked Johnny Cage.

"Yeah, like when my friend's boyfriend got cut in half!" Jeffy casually said.

"I send my deepest condolences to your friend Jeffy. No one should ever witness something like that in their life." Cabby said.

"We sure are Cabby!" Leafy insensitively yelled.

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy: Why are they mourning a fucking Ken doll?

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"Anyways, what are y'all gonna do right about now?" Brody asked.

"I say we talk about how we're all such good friends!"

"Leafy, shut the fuck up." Johnny Cage told her. "This whole I'm so nice shit is getting older by the minute."

"How 'bout YOU shut up and be nice for once?"

"Screw that, I'm leaving. I'll go eat some berries from the bushes, pretty healthy stuff. Certainly useful If I csn keep doing my own stunts in movies."

Cage then left the cabin.

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny Cage: The moment merge comes around, which I'm certain I'll get to experience, I'll align with literally everyone but my own team, then get rid of their asses one by one. They done messed with The Cage, they'll enter it.

Johnny stays silent for a second or two.

Johnny Cage: Can you cut out that last part out Chris?

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Meanwhile, Team Rose had all woken up by this point. Most were still in the cabin, but a few weren't. More specifically Bea and Dee Jay were having a little sparring match in the woods, with Bea clearly having the upper hand.

Dee Jay swung his fist into her in every possible direction, and yet she always perfectly caught it in her hands.

He tried using his legs instead, same results.

Every possible tactic he had was shut down by Bea.

So, he decided to simply throw in the towel and give her the win.

"*pant*, That was impressive mon, took the rhythm right outta me!" He said. " And by the looks of things, you don't need any training at all!"

Bea shrugged. "...That is not true. I train to maintain my strength, not to increase it, as I've already achieved what is humanly possible."

"Interesting mon." Dee Jay responded. "Say, are you interested in making alliance? To make it further in the game?"

"...Maybe I am, a-a bit. But what exactly does that entail?"

"Oh nothing too complicated mon. We just vote together and try to strategize to win. We're not gonna play dirty or anythin'.

Bea thought about that for a second, before taking her hand out to Dee Jay.

"Deal?"

"Deal."

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Alright, first step to winnin' Total Drama is complete! Step two though, that's reachin' the merge, which with this huge cast, is easier said than done.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Dee Jay seems quite friendly, but I'm not holding my breath. If, at any moment he starts to disrespect me in any way, our alliance is over.

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At the Team Rose HQ, Boba Fett was doing a bit of blaster practice with Wawanakwa's trees. He was mainly shooting at the branches nearby, all falling off in quick succession, one even hit Toby Queef in the head.

"Hey!" He yelled. "Fuckin' Jewlywood asshole! Anyone got an oven fo' this hippie?!"

Boba Fett simply ignored Queef and just continued shooting. That is, until Cream hugged him, with her looking quite fearful.

"Mr. Fett, Mr. Fett!" She yelled.

"What is exactly wrong little one?" He asked.

"It's the devil mister! He's been acting weird, saying he wants to eat my pancreas!"

Boba was more than a little confused. "Banban? Why would he-wait, I'm gonna go talk to him, you stay here."

Boba Fett then went to the cabin, where he saw that Banban was there, and pointed his gun at him.

"Woah." Banban said in his monotone voice. "Don't hurt me, it's not worth it."

"I want to what why exactly you have such a fascination with pancreases, especially those of children."

"You don't understand. No one will."

"Say that when they arrest you. But since I don't want to lose a teammate, I'll let you off the hook, if you can stop it with pancreases when they make others uncomfortable. Just know I'll be watching you."

Boba Fett got out of the cabin and presumably went back at his shooting range. Banban, however, wallowed in despair in his bed.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Why I can't anyone accept that I love eating pancreases?

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Since the elimination last episode, Player's been pretty paranoid about Mr. Cheese, trying to warn everyone about his schemes to no evail.

He was at the cabin, spending the past hour or so trying to convince them. "Guys come on, believe me! Mr. Cheese is up to no good! I-If we don't vote him off now, this whole team will all be ruined!"

Nobody believed him at all. Mae was laughing, Ash was convinced he had gone insane, Pillow payed no attention at all, it really felt like the whole world was up against him (and to be fair, he feels that all the time).

"Player, sorry for disappointing you, but there is absolutely no reason to doubt Mr. Cheese." Ash calmly stated. "He's not exactly the brightest bulb, and the supposed "plan" of his would be too easy to backfire on him, so him being a mastermind doesn't make sense either."

"B-But-" He tried to say something before Nick shut him down with his own words.

"Look, mate, can you not try to start a bloody scandal over that moron? So what if he's planning to vote us off? He'd probably fail in a challenge and he'd be out almost instantly anyway, so stop bitching over your crush's elimination and be a man!"

Player was embarrassed by Nick's words, but not for the reasons he intended. "M-My crush? Really man?"

"I mean, why else would you vouch for that monster? Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go get something to eat. My butler sends me meals from home."

Nick then left the cabin.

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: We had a scenario similar to Mr. Cheese's on the previous reality TV show I was on. She was a little girl who fooled everyone into thinking she was an innocent 6 year old, but then got everyone out and placed second. I've learned from my mistakes, and, if he gets someone out who isn't Homer or Lumpy Space Princess, he'll lay on the TLC of Shame for who knows how long.

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Cocoa Cookie gave Player a sympathetic look and went towards the poor beanie boy.

"H-Hey Player, if it makes you feel any better, I believe you."

Player looked surprised at this revelation. "You do? That's good."

"Y-Yeah, you d-don't seem like the type of guy to just, you know, make stuff up. You seem normal, a-and logical, and simply frustrated no one believes you."

"Well, if that's the case, thank you Cocoa Cookie."

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Confessional: Player

Player: Good thing at least somebody is on my side. And Cocoa's nice to be around, I guess.

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie: Is it just me, or is Player a little...I dunno...cute?

Cocoa Cookie realized what she just said and freaked out.

Cocoa Cookie: Oh no no no NO! I-I'm not-

She then shut her mouth shut as she began aggressively drinking from her cocoa cup.

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At the cafeteria was where most of Team Cocoa was. They were all enjoying their meals, especially Homer, who was currently in the infirmary after he also ate his plate alongside his food.

Meanwhile, Mr. Cheese sat there alone, thinking of ways to proceed in the game.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Mr. Cheese needs some awwies if he wants to make it further. Of my options there's Homer, who is usewess, WSP, who is also usewess, Nick, who is stupid, Connor, who's pathetic, and Ash, who took over 20 years to become champion. That weaves me with...

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We cut to Pillow, who was munching on a t-bone steak. And by munching, I mean instantly swallowing it, bone and all.

Mr. Cheese decided to go and talk to her. "Hey Piwwow, how you doing right 'bout now?"

"Oh the usual." She started. "Eating food, existing, fantasizing about who to kill next."

Mr. Cheese was disturbed by that last comment, but carried forward anyway. "Say, wanna make an awwiance?"

"Hmmm, I'll think about it." She then fucked off to somewhere else.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: I've already made up my mind!

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The intercom went off all around the island for everyone to hear.

"Attention campers!" Chris yelled over it. "Your little break time's over! Meet me at the challenge site in an hour!"

LSP was the most frustrated at that sudden announcement. "Are you, like, serious? I was planning to, like, watch Skibidi Toilet 70!"

"That what the young kids are into these days?" Nick asked. "What a shame."

We then cut to the challenge site. Everyone had arrived there to see Chris.

"Greetings everyone. Before we start this here challenge, I've got an announcement to make."

"Oh, do we get to lick some gamer girl feet?" Jeffy hornily (not a real word) asked.

"Dude, I like gamer girls as much as any other guy, but I'm not exactly into feet." Brody admitted.

"No, everyone, this is a family show, so we can't do that. The actual announcement is that the interns have arrived!"

"What, did all the previous ones die or quit?" Nichelle asked. "That wouldn't surprise me.

"You're half-right Nichelle. Good job. Anyway, here they are!"

The two men who had arrived on the island last chapter came into view. One was waving around like a ragdoll while the other looked embarrassed at his coworker.

"These guys are Christopher Gordman and Swagmaster6969696969, or Swag for short. Yes, these are their real names everyone."

Christopher "Chris" Gordman-The Guard (SMG4)

Swagmaster6969696969-The Retard (SMG4)

"Yo Chris, they've got a lot of hot bitches there!" Swag pointed out.

"Swag, remember what they said about being horny?" Gordman replied.

"Whatever bro, don't give a shit."

"These guys are here to help me out in regards to maintaining the show, and they'll occasionally participate in challenges either as helpers or obstacles."

"And we get paid right?" Gordman asked.

"Those accomodations you guys have probably cost at least a few 10Ks, so I guess so."

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: Those poor, poor interns know nothing of what's to come in the future! Do I actually care? Hmmm, not really!

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"Oh my god Chris look!" Swag exclaimed, pointing to Sonic. "It's my waifu! You didn't tell me he was here!"

Sonic is confused. "What do you mean by-" And then Swag jumped on Sonic and kept trying to kiss him.

"Swiggity swooty coming for that booty! Swiggity swooty coming for that booty! Swiggity swooty coming for that boo-" He then got blasted off Sonic by Amy's hammer (where she keeps it is a mystery to all). "BOOOTYYYYY!"

"HEY! No one, and I mean no one, touched my Sonic like that but ME!" She yelled at him.

Sonic got on his feet and got away from Amy instantly by hiding behind Homer's back, who replied with: "Hey I ain't gay!"

He made a sarcastic remark. "Not sure if I should thank you or be absolutely terrified like usual!"

"I mean, Amy did save you Sonic, wouldn't it be nice to thank her?" Cream asked.

"Cream, don't get involved in this!" Sonic told her.

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Confessional: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic: Why does a dumb little blue hedgehog like me attract so many perverts? Is it because of the qui-Oh wait, it is because of the quills.

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"Nice interns you have Chris." Johnny Cage mocked. "Wanna bet they won't survive past this episode?"

"Hey! I'll let you know that, unlike that retarded simp, I'm perfectly good at my job!" Gordman replied.

"Yeah, I certainly picked some good interns!"

"Hell yeah we are!" Swag said in excitement.

"Anyway, today's challenge is gonna be a pretty down-to-earth, ain't never done before one: A science fair!"

"NEEEEERDDDDD!" Homer mockingly yelled. "Bart's supposed to be the one doing science fairs, so why am I the one doing them?"

"Because I said so."

"Fair enough."

"I for one am glad Mr. McLean is experimenting with less dangerous challenges pal!" Gumshoe claimed.

"And I am glad my genius can be demonstrated in a challenge pal!" Plankton replied.

"Don't think that just because it's not dangerous means it's not difficult, for you are going to be judged by 3 different nerds!" Chris said. "Swag, Gordman, bring 'em on."

Swag and Gordman answer to Chris's commands and bring in 3 characters all hidden by some bed sheets.

"Our first guest is a bit of a familiar face on this show. He's a small guy, and perverted as heck, everyone give it up for Cody!"

Swag pulls out the sheet to reveal Cody...who is absolutely not the Total Drama Cody. Hell, he's not even human, he's a turtle who wore a wizard's robe.

Cody-The Gay Nerd (SuperMarioLogan)

"Uh, hi?" He asked, confused. "Why the hell am I here? I was just doing my homework."

Chris looked at the two guards in contempt. "Wow, you guys really didn't know how our Cody looked like, huh?"

Gordman tried to defend himself. "All you said was to find some horny nerd named Cody. How the hell did you expect us to know which infinite number of Codys was the right one?"

"Watch the show dude."

Jeffy looked at Cody for a second and was met with a smell of familiarity. "HOLY SHIT! Is that Cody from SML? Good to see ya!"

"Wait, Jeffy, you're here? I didn't know that, Junior said you were on vacation."

"Weird but let's ignore that!" Chris suddenly told Cody, as if he did it to make sure they couldn't talk about that further. "Guys, let's hope this next one won't be a mistake!"

"Yeah sure bro." Swag reassured. "I know the ass of every girl ever so I had no trouble finding the right bitch!"

"Ok. Now, this contestant has a little beef with one of our cast members. She's a bit of a reality TV vet, making the merge in two seasons. She's also a super smart scientist, and her name's Test Tube!"

Gordman took off her bed sheet, showing Test Tube was indeed a, well, test tube. Coming from more or less the same place as Cabby Leafy and Pillow, she also had some unknown green liquid inside of her. When she was revealed Cabby looked a little uneasy.

Test Tube-The Scientist (Inanimate Insanity)

The Test Tube wasn't as confused as Cody was when he arrived. "Did you make sure to inform my friends of my disappearance, so they don't think something bad happened to me?"

"That wasn't on the list!" Swag replied, making Gordman facepalm.

Cabby went to the back a bit, as if she was trying to avoid making eye contact with Test Tube. But that was for naught, as she was seen by the liquid carrying girl. "C-Cabby? Are you competing here?"

Cabby started sweating a bunch(don't ask how the file cabinet can do that) and generally looking uncomfortable. "W-Why yes, I-I am, in fact, c-competing." She then started putting on a fake smile.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: D-During my time on Inanimate Insanity, me and Test Tube...didn't get along...very well. B-But I assure the viewers I DID NOT intend to ever hurt her feelings at ANY point...unless you...unless you count voting her off a reality show.

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"L-Look, I-I know you're probably still not over what I've done before, b-but I think it's best that we just let it go...at least now anyway!"

Leafy bugged in their conversation. "Yeah! Leave Cabby alone YOU MEANIE!"

Test Tube looked a bit skeptical. "A-Alright. I'll just judge this competition like I was asked, and leave. Nothing too bad right?"

"YAY!" Leafy yelled, meanwhile, Cabby just let out a little "Phew".

"Man, I have absolutely no idea what's happening and even I felt bad for Cabby." Cody said.

"I fell bad for her the moment I saw her." Swag claimed. "But that busty bitch can never match Sonic!"

"Someone kill me please." Gordman begged.

"Good drama everyone, just proves how good my successors are!" Chris claimed. "E-Except Nick's show, that one sucks. As for the final guest: He's a contestant from last season, he has more fans than all but three characters from Pikachu Island or whatever that season's name was, and he's a massive scaredy cat; It's freakin' Damie-"

Before Chris could finish, the kid he was about to introduce as Damien ran off whilst screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" at the top of his lungs.

Damien-The Guy Who Screams A Lot (Total Drama, more specifically the reboot seasons)

"That guy who just screamed for his mama was Damien, a past contestant who was supposed to be a judge, but I guess he decided against it last minute."

Nichelle giggled a bit. "Classic Damien, born a scaredy cat, always a scaredy cat."

Bea decided to join in. "Yet he's probably stronger than you."

Nichelle didn't like that. "HEY!"

"So I guess it's just the two of us then." Test Tube observed. "Hopefully it won't take too long."

Cody tried to flirt with Test Tube. "Dude, has anyone ever told you have a nice butt? Me, you and Ken could have a whole ass gay threesome together!"

"I'm a girl."

"Oh crud."

"And I've also always identified as one."

"Even bigger crud!"

"Yeah, we still gonna need another judge so Swag! Go with the other two!"

" 'Kay boss." Swag said as he jumped all the way to what was supposed to be Damien's seat.

"Thank god I don't have to deal with him for a bit!" Gordman said. "Imma go play some Fortnite."

"Alright, now that we've established everything about the challenge I think it's time we begin. You'll be given 2 hours to craft any sciency stuff you can think of! In 3,2,1!" Chris then used his airhorn to signify the challenge's start.

Immediately Plankton managed to get Team Pee Pee in a circle. "Listen up you maggots! I'm an evil genius, so I've already come up with an idea. All I need is one person with even a single knowledge of engineering and somebody to watch over in case of a screw up! Got that?"

Everyone on the team except a confused Jeffy responded with "Got that!".

Gumshoe was the first to offer themselves. "I think I'm fit for that first part, pal. I was taught various tech stuff as part of my training at the police academy, and it's probably the only reason I haven't been fired from my position yet."

Brody sympathized with his plight. "That's kinda sad man."

"Police generally aren't nice people so I'm not surprised!" Leafy butted in.

"Whatever, Gumshoe it is! Now which one of you cavemen want to check up on him from time to time?"

Cordelia was the one to respond. "I suggest putting myself in that position sir. I've watched over plenty of rookie pegasus knights in the past, so it should be a breeze."

"Fine, that ain't hard anyway. Everyone else can go do whatever the heck they please."

"I'll be nice to people!" Leafy responded.

"And I'll be an asshole." Johnny Cage sarcastically fired back.

Team Cocoa also had some people making ideas already.

"Ooh! Maybe we can make something cocoa related!" Cocoa Cookie excitedly said. "M-Maybe a cocoa volcano, that's a classic!"

"How 'bout, like, no?" LSP said. "That's like, sooooo generic!"

Homer butted in as well, in spite of his utter idiocy. "Why is everyone making a debate? I'm CLEARLY the most fit for science crap! I work at a powerplant for goodness sake!"

"Don't listen to the moron!"

"Now I don't like Nick at all but he's right." Player said. "Homer doesn't seem very smart, it might be best if we-"

Pillow decided to interrupt Player. "Actually, I think we should pick Homer as our MVP. He's yellow, which is the color of the asian race, who are all super smart! Or at least that's what my favorite youtuber said."

"Ignoring that frankly racist statement." Nick began. "I still don't think Homer's a good choice."

"Oh, maybe we can do a vote to determine if Homer's a good choice?" Mr. Cheese added. "We all wive in democracies after all."

"Ok, but first, I just want to say I don't take sides." Connor assured the team. "But I take Homer's."

"Ok, whoever wants the better option say Ay, and the worse one Nay." Homer said.

Pillow, Mr. Cheese, Connor and LSP all said "Ay" and joined Homer's side, whilst everyone else didn't.

That is until Homer went to Ash, grabbed him by the neck and said "WHY YOU LITTLE!" and that made Ash switch sides to Homer.

"See? I win!"

The people who weren't on Homer's side all groaned.

Nick decided to leave the team, frustrated at their idiocy. "If you can't win a bloody challenge, I'M OUT!"

"Sucks to be you, we'll win this whole thing cuz I'm smart, and you're british!" Homer bragged.

Sonic facepalmed.

Suddenly, Pillow whispered something to Mr. Cheese, who whispered to Mae in return. Both Mae and Pillow went together somewhere.

"Where are they going?" Cocoa Cookie asked.

"Oh they're totally bangin' sister." Sonic jokingly remarked, which got Cocoa Cookie to blush a bit at the mention of banging.

"Alright team, first we need to have..." Homer began to say before we cut to Team Rose's plan for the challenge, or lack there of.

"Does anyone have any idea of what to do with challenge, mon?" Dee Jay asked.

"Oh, oh I know somethin'!" Toby Queef answered, somehow without saying a racial slur to Dee Jay. "How bout we take samples of blood from the black people on our team, than use it to cure AIDS? That'll get us a win and a nobel prize!"

"What exactly does AIDS mean?" Cream innocently asked.

Amy took Cream in her arms to keep her away from Queef. "Don't listen to that man Cream, just don't!"

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: How did we go from winning that first challenge so easily to this?

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"M-Maybe Boba Fett can help us?" Sanders wondered. "His armor looks...advanced, so he must've quite the knowledge about engineering!"

"Sure thing." Fett admits. "I'll do something on my own, but It'll take a while."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: I don't actually have the resources needed for an invention, nor do I have much expertise in crafting tech. However, I do have another plan, one which would guarantee us victory.

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We cut to Gumshoe looking at a bunch of blue prints, confused as hell.

"So, this is what I need to do?" He asked to Plankton, who just gave him those blue prints.

"Yep, remember ya asked to do it on your own, so don't cry about it and do the thing!"

"Ok, pal."

"Good. Now Cordelia, watch over him!"

"Yes sir!" She replied.

Plankton then went off to relax somewhere else while Gumshoe did all the work. He tried to leave but Cordelia fuckin' threw her spear out to scare him.

"Please don't make it harder than it needs to be."

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: Gumshoe needs a lesson about hard work it seems. After our near loss last time, I can't tolerate any slackers! E-Except Jeffy, since he'd probably screw up.

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Player and Cocoa Cookie were tasked by Homer to grab a bunch of leaves from the woods. Don't ask why, since even they didn't know.

"How in the world is a bunch of random leaves gonna help him make something?" Player asked in confusion of Homer's plan.

"M-Maybe it's something specific to his universe?" Cocoa Cookie assumed. "Pretty sure his world's quite different from Earthbread."

"Unless he's from a fantasy land of weirdness, I don't see how anyone can use leaves for any purpose, besides maybe Leafy's world."

Cocoa Cookie blushed a bit, though she hid it with her sleeve. "Y-Yeah, m-maybe you're right."

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie: First Mint Choco and now him? I'm a grown woman, yet I can't even handle my attractions!

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We cut to a very tired looking Gumshoe and a very frustrated looking Cordelia. She had to practically poke him in the ass with a spear and damn near sodomize him to keep working.

"Try harder! Anything less than complete is not allowed!" She yelled at him.

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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe

Gumshoe: That was torture pal! It's like the CIA, but at least that wasn't out in the open!

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Meanwhile, Swag was constantly trying to look at Test Tube's nonexistent butt, and she wasn't having it.

"Could you please not try that any further? I don't have what your species calls a "butox"!"

"Shut up! I need my daily dose of asscheeks, and Chris ain't enough!" He replied while still staring at her behind.

Cody looked disappointed at that. "Man, if you were a guy instead of a girl, not only would no one have cared, they'd find it hot!"

In response, Test Tube slapped his head. "Don't encourage him!"

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Confessional: Swagmaster6969696969

Swag: Man, this gig actually doesn't suck balls! Not only is my boss not Sargeant Gaydicks, but there's big titty bitches all around! Lolololololololololo!

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Connor, Nick and Mr. Cheese were out gathering some rocks for Homer's mysterious project. Mr. Cheese was collecting them like easter eggs whilst Connor struggled picking a rock into a basket and Nick wasn't trying at all.

"My feet are fucking killing me, why are we doing this?" Nick complained to Connor.

"Sounds like you've never done any hard work mister." Connor replied before realizing the hypocrisy. "N-Not that I'm any better mind you, but someone had to say it!"

"Whatever. Say, do you think that Mr. Cheese fella's at least a little suspicious?"

"Why would he be? He's dumb for sure, but he's harmless! Kinda like me!"

"But he's just so...random! He bailed on us first challenge, then he tells Pillow and Mae something and now they're gone just like that!

"Did Mr. Cheese kill your freakin' mama or somethin'?" Mr. Cheese asked as he suddenly turned around to face Nick, which scared him a little.

"What the? Weirdo."

"And don't act wike you're much better. You decided to not jump cuz you didn't wanna wet your wee wittle jacket, and now you refuse to help us win the chawwenge!"

"I don't care. Homer's a dumbass so we'll fail anyway."

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Nick is smarter than most of the team, but he's awso a total jerk! So he's not a threat to my game AT ALL!

Mr. Cheese then does a little giggle.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow was sitting in the confessional, casually covered in blood.

Pillow: What? This is fine. It's just ketchup. Ketchup that tastes like blood FYI.

She then licked some of that "ketchup" off her body.

Pillow: Mmm, tasty.

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Gumshoe was finally done with his invention, which he couldn't celebrate because he was half dead by this point. It was a metal helmet designed to connect directly through the brain, it's purpose currently unknown.

Plankton was examining the item, looking quite pleased by the result.

"Huh, this is pretty good! How'd ya make this under two hours?"

"Oh, it wasn't too hard. Took a lot of coercion out of the poor officer but he did!" Cordelia replied, neglecting the amount of mental torture she had poor Gumshoe go through. "But what is it supposed to do anyway?"

"Pretty simple: It's the best possible solution to stop the epidemic of strange geniuses popping up!" Plankton explained before he showed off his invention(well, technically Gumshoe's but fuck that guy). "Behold, the AUTiSM CURING MACHINE!"

Cordelia was confused by that word. "Autism? What's that?"

"That is a spectrum of weirdos that ranges from only mildly making you not pay attention to freakin' Jeffy. In fact, the reason I made it in the first place was so that the dumb kid can stop being so annoying! And now that I think about it, I should probably use it on Spongebob as well, when I get the chance."

"Ok. I don't have much of an opinion on that. Care to go to our team to show it off?"

"NU-UH! I need to see if it's processors are all up to the usual standards, which would take a while! Go back to them I guess, I'll be back in half an hour."

"Good. See you around Sir Plankton!" Cordelia said as she went back to Team Pee Pee.

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: Still not sure if the "autism curing machine" is such a good idea.

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Plankton was done with checking up his invention at this point, so he decided to take it with him to his team. That is, until he heard somebody step into leaves, startling him and making him turn around. "Huh, what you trynna do, thief?"

That attempted thief was Boba Fett, who wasn't about to give up, and aimed his blasters straight at Plankton.

Plankton was a bit scared, but nonetherless tried to keep his cool. "Woah, woah, woah, Mr. Bounty Hunter Man, relax! You're not gonna steal this evil genius's invention without something, are ya?"

"Whatever you say doesn't matter, give...me...that...invention!"

Plankton reluctantly decided to give the helmet to Fett, but not before trying to turn this around for him. "I'll do it okay? But first, lemme make a deal."

Boba Fett was interested in Plankton's "deal", but still didn't let loose of his blasters. "Tell me what your deal is, and I might consider it."

Plankton had a smirk on his face. "Good, good! So, how 'bout we start an alliance, you know what I'm sayin'? We can make sure the other's team loses and get rid of threats from both, and when the merge comes, our other alliances from our teams will combine into one, givings us the majority to crush the competition! If you agree to this, I promise you I won't tell anyone you stole from me, m'kay?"

Fett lowered his blasters and took Plankton's invention from him. "Sure, but if you don't follow on that promise, you'll be thrown into a rancor pit!"

"Okay buddy, now go and win it for your team!"

Fett then used his jetpack to fly back to his team in mere seconds.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Man oh man did I get a sweet deal! Now that I've got an ally, my  diabolical schemes shall begin in earnest!

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Team Rose had not thought of any idea to win the challenge, so their morale wasn't too high at the moment. Toby Queef had said the n-word about a dozen times by now, Donald and Frisk tried miserably to engage in a discussion with each other, and Banban had to be physically restrained so that he couldn't try to cut up Donald and eat his pancreas.

That is, until Boba Fett came in with a metal helmet.

Sanders was the one to welcome him. "Good to see you're back. How'd you get that item anyway? And what does it even do?"

Boba Fett was being cautious around his wording to not arouse suspicion. "I found this in my belongings, not really sure how it got there, and I don't have much of a clue on what it does, but it's the best chance we've got to win this competition!"

Sanders rolled her eyes before saying a simple "Sure."

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: Suspicious, but I'll let it slide. Winning the challenge should be our main priority!

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Already got someone on my team suspecting me. Great. Hopefully Plankton follows up on his promise and doesn't betray me.

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Plankton had returned to his team's cabin, pretending to be shocked so that they wouldn't realize the truth.

"Guys, guys GUYS!" He yelled to get their attention. "Somebody stole my invention!"

"What? That's so not nice of them!" Leafy yelled as she came to check on Plankton with the rest of the team.

"Shut the hell up and let the more important people talk!" Johnny Cage told Leafy. "Did you see who stole the damn project or what?"

"No, and we'll probably never find it!" Plankton then starts rapidly bursting into tears.

"Seriously?" Cordelia complained. "I had to overwork poor Gumshoe to near death to complete that helmet in such a short amount of time, and now it's just gone?!"

Cabby tried to reassure her team. "M-Maybe we can make something else in what little time we have left? One idea I've had is-" Before she could explain that, Chris's voice was heard all around the island from the intercom.

"Attention campers! Time's up for your inventions! Better hope you actually used your time productively and go to the challenge site now! This'll be fun!"

The whole of Team Pee Pee groaned in frustration at their inevitable loss.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: How rude of Chris to give us such limited time! If I was the host, it would've been a NICENESS challenge with unlimited time and no eliminations! In fact, you, the viewers at home, are all participating in it!

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At the challenge site, despite not doing anything the whole time, Team Rose was the only confident team, all thanks to Boba Fett. Meanwhile, Team Cocoa were all sure Homer would screw it up and Team Pee Pee had nothing to show at all. And strangely, Mae was not with Team Cocoa whatsoever, but Pillow and Mr. Cheese told them she was having stomach issues and needed to rest, so they didn't mind much.

Oh, and weirdly enough, instead of Swag actually being there, in his spot was a laptop which currently had a discord voice chat with him.

"Why is Swag not here in person?" Asked Player.

Cody was the one to respond. "Him? Oh, that Test Tube girl gave him a restraining order for being really fucking weird. Like seriously, that guy must be a registered sex offender!"

Test Tube just looked real mad. "T-That man should not be on this show at all! He's a monster!"

"Whatever you thicc green liquid babe!" Swag said on the voice chat before Test Tube furiously disabled it.

Chris ignored everyone and did his usual schtick. "Anyways, campers, it's time for our judges to well, judge your stuff! Team Rose is up first since they won got first place in the previous challenge!"

"Good to know, mon. Boba, bring in the helmet."

Boba Fett showed off the helmet to the judges, who were curious about what it does(except Swag of course). Cordelia tried to object that it was her team's, but Plankton stopped her just before that.

"That looks alright, but what does it exactly do?" Test Tube asked.

"That'll be shown right away." Boba Fett responded. "Banban, care to give it a try?"

Banban nodded to say "yes" and then put the helmet onto his head. Boba Fett pressed a red button on the helmet to make it work.

Banban started to shake violently, looking like he was having a massive seizure, before falling onto the ground with only a little heartbeat left. His teammates were shocked to see this.

"I-Is Mr. Banban okay?" Cream innocently asked.

Test Tube came to a realization. "Oh my science equipment! You must've used an Autism Curing Machine, didn't you? Those machines are extremely dangerous, often leaving the user brain dead at worst and a completely different individual at best! That man needs serious help immediately!"

Gordman went to check up on Banban. "His pulse is still breathing, barely, but at the very least he's not dead. I'll send him to the medical tent, you guys continue the challenge."

Gordman then grabbed Banban's body and went off on his own.

"Um, Chris, can we just end the challenge already?" Nichelle arrogantly asked. "I'm not wastin' my time competin' when that braindead guy's gonna leave anyway!"

Her teammates weren't very appreciative of her comments.

"...Wow, you really don't have any empathy for him?" Bea asked her, silently raging at the same time. "Disgusting."

"To answer Nichelle's comments, yes, we are still in the challenge. Give Banban a day and he'll be good as new! And even if he doesn't make it, we'll just get a quick replacement! Judges, what are your scores?"

Test Tube was the first to give her opinion. "While it is somewhat impressive that you made such an object, the danger of its usage has forced me to give it a 0/10 for ethics sake."

Cody was next. "I mean, I highly doubt I'd be able to make something like that, so I say 10/10. Yeah someone died, but that happens all the time in experiments!"

Swag was last. "You killed the lazy content farm cash grab mascot horror character, so I'll give a 20/10! Only problem is that you didn't do that sooner!"

"So I suppose you guys get an overall score of 30. Not too shabby there. Team Cocoa, your turn!"

Team Cocoa hesitated to show off their invention, since they all knew it was gonna be a disaster, but Homer didn't care as he brought in something obscured by a white sheet.

"This is gonna be so awful." Nick whispered to Connor.

"Relax, I've got a little back up plan if we fail, so don't frown just yet!" Connor replied.

Homer decided to be the one announcing his invention. "Well, everyone, just so you know, I made this thingy completely on my own! It's the most super duper cool thingy in the universe! Here it is!

Homer revealed that object, which turned out to be...a bunch of rocks superglued on each other, with a leaf to cover up what seemed to be a crotch, some nutela that looks like Homer's last few strands of hair-Wait, it's literally just his shitty attempt to make his own statue!

Anyway, everyone was staring in disbelief at Homer's creation, except Homer himself and Jeffy, like always.

"This is what I'll call Homer's Odyssey!"

"Do you even know what that is?" Asked Sonic.

"Well I did remember Bart researching it once, so that must count for somethin'. This thingy's an amazing statue of myself! It looks like it was made by Michaelangello! Y'know, the coolest ninja turtle!"

Chris giggled a bit. "Wow, this is awful. Every sculptor is rolling in their grave right now!"

Homer was confused. "A-Awful? How DARE you! This is the greatest masterpiece ever made!"

Homer was making a bunch of incomprehensible rants when Connor went in and tried to do some damage control.

"T-That wasn't actually our project!" He lied through his teeth. "I-It was just a little bonus. Here's what we actually have for you guys!"

Connor took out his phone and showed...a bunch of poorly drawn pictures of monkeys, who all look the same outside of some tacked on accessories.

"Dude, are those NFTs?" Cody asked, being probably the only other person on the island to have bought them before. "Haven't seen them in a while."

"Yep. These are my Bored Ape NFTs, had to pay up 100 mill for these bad boys!" Connor explained like a retard.

Everyone there was bursting out laughing. Chris in particular was wiping tears.

"Wow dude, you just got scammed real good!" He told Connor.

"N-No I wasn't!" Connor delusionally denied. "T-The guy I bought these said it stood for Not Fraudulent Things! Are you all stupid? No wonder AI's gonna replace us!"

"Yeah, he's out of his depth, please ignore him." Player begged Chris.

"Fine, we will. Judges, what are your thoughts on Connor's NFT collection-I mean Homer's statue(in air quotes)?"

"I'll give that statue a 2/10!" Test Tube said, surprising everyone with how high the score was. "Not very good, but at least it had some passion in it."

"9/10. Would be a full 10 if he didn't cover the dick." Cody said as well.

Swag seemed a bit mad. "SMG4 made a whole ass video saying he didn't like NFTs, and since I don't want him to stop giving me screentime, I won't even bother giving it a 0!"

"Guess that makes it 11, which, wow, you guys are awful, you know that?" Chris taunted Team Cocoa, who were all pissed at Homer for failing them.

"UGH! These guys just don't appreciate true art!" Homer complained.

Connor joined in as well. "Couldn't have said it better myself, through I wouldn't call your work true art."

"Enough with the chit chat and let's finally finish the challenge! Team Pee Pee, what do you have?"

Everyone Team Pee Pee was completely and utterly sure they would lose the challenge this time, all except one unsong hero...

"Hey guys." Jeffy said, heroically. "I've got a big brain plan to win this fucking challenge. I just need Jean Claude Von Damn over there(aka Johnny Cage) to come with me."

They were all so certain of their loss that no one, not even Cage himself objected. "Fine, make it quick." He then went with Jeffy to the judges.

"So, Jeffy and Johnny Cage, what do you have to showcase?" Asked Chris, waiting for their failure to truly commence.

"Yo dudes, check this shit out!" Jeffy then ripped off Johnny's shirt out of complete nowhere, angering him.

"Hey!" He yelled. "What the hell man? You can't just do that without my consent!"

"So my science project is shirtless Johnny Depp! Hope you like it you sick pervs!"

"Ok, JUDGES! RANK NOW!"

"Is this some kind of joke?" Test Tube angrily asked. "Cause I'm not laughing. 0/10!"

Swag was even harsher. "Don't bring up that gay shit with me! Negative 100/10!"

Cody through, Cody was something else. He kept staring at the shirtless actor, as if he had an erection (because he did).

"10 out of fucking 10! No, 100 out of 10! Fuck that, INFINITY OUT OF TEN! THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING SCIENCE PROJECT EVER!"

"Team Pee Pee's score is officially an infinite out of 10, obliterating everyone else's scores and winning this challenge easily!"

Jeffy flailed around in a failed attempt a a victory dance, with the rest of his team minus Johnny Cage and the nearly dead Gumshoe completely bewildered by what just happened.

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy: Cody's a sissy bitch, so it was easy as fuck to find a solution at the last fucking minute!

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: That fucking kid! I only take my shirt off for ladies, not for horny gay teenagers!

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"Team Cocoa, you've failed again. See you tonight."

All of Team Cocoa was frustrated at their second loss in a row.

"Seriously? How can we lose again?!" Player complained.

"Obviously it was his fault!" Nick replied, pointing at Homer.

"Huh, me? Why?"

"Because your idea gave us a low score." Cocoa Cookie told him.

"And why is that?"

"Because the judges didn't like it." Sonic said.

"And why didn't they like it?"

"Can you, like, shut up?!" LSP complained.

"I'm bored." Mr. Cheese admited. "We should vote off Connor cuz NFTs are cringe!"

Connor wasn't too pleased about that. "W-Woah woah woah there! Easy! Why don't we just get rid of Homer? He pretty much caused us to lose anyway."

"I thought you liked Homer." Player lampshaded.

"Not enough not to save my ass over him."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

That sudden scream came from and was heard from the other side of the island. It scared the crap out of everyone.

"Jesus! What the hell was that?" Connor asked.

"No idea dudes, let's check that out!" Chris declared whilst trying to not look spooked.

"Ah, I'm sure it's probably nothing." Pillow tried to reassure everyone, which obviously failed.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Ignoring that scream, I'm pleasantly surprised Jeffy saved our team's butts like that! Throught we could vote off a threat tonight, but alas, that'll have to do for another day, and hey, I did gain an ally, so It could've been worse.

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All of Team Cocoa was present at where the scream came from. There was a whole bunch of blood and gore spilt everywhere, but no body. Or well, there was one body, but not a dead one.

"I-Is that Damien?" Chris pointed to Damien's passed out body. "He looks fine, so he's probably just passed out from seeing a dead bear or something. Oh well, false alarm, let's go-"

"G-GUYS!" Yelled Cocoa Cookie, who was fighting tears. "I-It's M-Mae, s-she's been..."

Cocoa Cookie was pointing to a spot in a bush, filled with blood. Gradually, Chris went to check on it, which gave him a truly horrific sight...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...of Mae's bloody corpse.

Warning: Description of a dead body

It was extremely desecrated, blood everyone on her, to the point it was hardly recognizable as the late rebellious cat who was alive and well mere hours ago.

Nick was the first contestant besides Cocoa Cookie to take a look at the body, which made him panic almost instantly. "What the? IS SHE FUCKING DEAD!"

Player went on to check and see what was happening. "What's happeni-OH MY GOD! WHO DID THIS?!"

Connor wasn't as bothered by the corpse, having been through some bad shit himself, but even he shit his pants at the sight. "What the fuck! What the hell man? Who would do this?"

Mr. Cheese already figured out what had happened and was horrified by it.

"P-Piwwow? D-Did you do this?"

Pillow stared at het own victim with nothing but a smile on her face. "M-Maybe? Who knows? I sure don't!"

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese inhaled and exhaled quite a bit, to ease up on the stress on the situation.

Mr. Cheese:...M-Mr. C-Cheese just wants to  reiterate that he does not condone Piwwow's cowd bwodded murder!

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Everyone on Team Cocoa (except Pillow of course and Homer who was too lazy to go with them) was scared and sad of what happened to poor, poor Mae.

Chris on the other hand, his frown turned into a smile.

"Well it looks like Mae is dead, so no voting for today." He declared, not giving an ounce of sympathy towards the person dead on his left. "Homer's gonna love this!"

Player was outraged. "Someone just got murdered, and all you're thinking about is this stupid show? How little morals must you have?!"

"I lost 'em about halfway to season 2 kid. We'll set up a funeral tomorrow for the dead cat and continue as usual. Oh, and since we've shown a literal corpse on screen, this ain't a family show no more! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!"

"Yeah, fluff this sheet I'm out!" Pillow declared as she ran off to nowhere to make sure no one is suspicious of her.

Chris then looked straight at the camera. "Well that was quite an eventful episode, wasn't it? Will the Plankton-Boba Fett alliance get some eliminations on their resume? Will Mr. Cheese still ally with Pillow after what she did? And will Team Rose finally start being interesting? Find out next time on...

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Before the episode ends, one more scene played after the credits.

It was set in a medical tent, where it was shown that Banban was strapped to a bed, still without any consciousness in him.

Until, he started moving a little bit and finally opened his eyes.

"Wassup motherfuckers!"

Well this episode was a load of weird shit. From Banban having his autism cured to Jeffy saving the day by using Cody's gay hornyness, to a contestant being brutally murdered and the killer still being in the game, this will likely be the most controversial chapter of the entire story.

As for the eliminated contestant, sorry to Mae fans for my um...decision to kill her off, if it upset you. But hey, at the very least, there's no shortage of Mae appearances in the Total Drama Xover section!

And a little preview for next episode:

The cast is forced to play in a 12 round gauntlet to determine the strongest team amongst themselves! The scheming gets even more crazy when Boba Fett and Plankton enact their very first plan for the game, whilst also gaining an ally or two in the process.

Be sure to leave a review if you have some interesting throughts to share!

Ciao!

Chapter Text

Ok, now we're onto episode 4! This episode's challenge is gonna be a lot more action packed than all previous episodes, so strap in!

Response to reviews:

-Memeking The Third: If the "unique route" you're refering to is edgy humor through the fucking roof, then yes.

-Luckyhill: Bro has not watched BFDI apparently, because Pillow there has killed others in WAY more brutal ways, but I guess in those cases they weren't bloody and, most of all, permanent.

Episode 4: The Great Gauntlet of Gaslighting, Gatekeeping Girlbosses!

It was midnight and raining on Camp Wawanakwa. There was a big, sad funeral for poor Mae Borowski. The coffin was closed during the memorial, as her body was completely and utterly brutalized by a certain pillow case. Most were mourning this loss, from most of Mae's teammates to the interns (even if Swag only did so cuz she was hot). There was also some dumb bimbo at the funeral named TheMasterKat, who no one knew anything about.

Chris was the one to start the real mourning.

"We are gathered here to remember the passing of Miss Mae Borowski. She was a contestant on Total Drama Multiversal Madness. She competed on Team Cocoa until her elimination/death in episode 2-wait, did you idiots copy paste my speech from the fucking FANDOM WIKI?!"

Gordman looked embarrassed to hear that, while Swag paid no attention at all.

"Whatever. Player, you're the second to make a statement, so go now."

We cut to Player, who was trying to get Cocoa Cookie off his chest, literally cuz she was crying non stop on him.

He went to Chris's spot without any preparation whatsoever. "Mae was, uh, a person, someone of a feminine gender. She was a teammate, who, um, did things. Can we just cut it out now? Mae died, this show should be cancelled!

"Nope. If the killer gets someone again, they'll be disqualified. Just pretend that never ever happened, okay?"

Gumshoe got mad. "Are you kidding me pal? Are you just going to put everyone's lives at risk like that?"

"As if I hadn't done that a dozen times! Funeral's over! Go to bed! Oh, and Gordman, make sure Swag doesn't get freaky with the body, okay?"

"Lol Like I would ever do that! Cats are a bunch of dumb fucking ungrateful bastards!"

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Confessional: Player

Player: We've lost twice in a row and the person responsible for our last one is still here. We really need to step up our game if we don't wanna get wiped out before the halfway point!

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Confessional: Rotty Tops

Rotty Tops: Now this may be a little bit insensitive, but the killer really should've gone for Jeffy instead!

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Right before everyone's going to bed, Mr. Cheese decided to confront Pillow alone.

"Awright Piwwow, why did you kiww Mae?!"

Pillow didn't even try denying the accusations. "It was fun. What more do you want?"

"B-But you can't just kill someone wike that! I do that in Among Us, but no one dies permanently there!"

"Whatever. Let me give if you a little idea of what would happen if you even think about exposing me."

Pillow then pulls out a sharp knife to Mr. Cheese's head, scaring him.

"P-Pwease don't kill me! I-I'm the most popuwar character! I've got so much merch!"

"Oh, that won't happen. So long as you're my ally, of course."

Pillow then takes out the knife and lets Mr. Cheese be, the latter still scared shitless.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: As much as I'd love to kill everyone here, that'll have to wait, as, if I get exposed, these guys might just put me in jail, unlike the motherfluffers on BFDI.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Well, seems I've got to work with Piwwow from now on. Might wanna get some more awwies other than a psycho.

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We cut to Team Pee Pee all being asleep peacefully. All except Plankton, who discreetly enters one of Cabby's cabinets without her knowing.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: I saw Cabby writing somethin' in those files of hers and decided to check 'em out. And boy oh boy did I find some juicy info hidden in 'em.

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At the Team Rose cabin, business was as usual. Up until someone came through the door anyway.

"Yo dudes! I'm back and better than ever!" Banban said as he burst through the door. His voice and general demeanor was a lot more energetic than it was before, with everyone shocked not only by that, but also him being alive at all.

"B-Banban?" Dee Jay asked, confused. "Didn't think you'd be alive mon, but it's great to have you back!"

"It sure is my nigga!" What Banban just said made everyone stare at him. E-Except Toby Queef, fucker liked that.

"Hey! You can't just say that word!" Nichelle, one of the black people on the team, yelled at him.

"Why not? Why can your kind say it but not me? Don't you think that, if you don't want a word to be said by most people, then it's better if no one said it?"

The room was now filled with dead silence.

Bea, ironically, was the one to break it. "...Can we simply move on from this conversation?"

"FUCK NO WE DON'T!" Yelled Toby Queef. "LEMME TEACH BANBAN HOW TO-" Bea then sucker punched him in the nuts, knocking him out instantly and getting a round of applause from even Nichelle.

"...Anyways, Banban, are you...ok?" Bea asked him.

"Well if you consider not having autism and thus be able to be who I truly am ok, then I guess I am!"

"...Good for you."

"Yeah, real fucking good." Banban replied. "Now, anyone wanna listen to my mixtape?"

"Absolutely mon. I can even teach ya some rhythm!" Dee Jay happily answered.

Banban then played his mixtape. It sounded like this:

"Holed up, in the kinder, it's a garden

Kids are missin', now it's lookin' so abandoned
Bad plans, he must be a bad man
Playin' in the room, now gone, got it bad from the Banban
No chance, understand that I'm broken
Lookin' for the ones that did it, it's a sick joke
I'm choked at the thought of it, dizzy, I'm out of it
I won't stop 'til they're back from the Banban

Radio, radio, radio waves
Lookin' lifelike with their bright eyes
Radio, radio, radio waves
Lookin' lifelike with their bright eyes

Echoes in the playroom
I'm bouncin' off the walls
Will you come home soon?
I'm dronin' through the halls

I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything
I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on (yeah)
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything

How should one feel when their world gets rocked?
Like, what I have is all gone, where all is lost?
I wanna vomit, I'm sick to my stomach, it's all wrong
Monsters are walkin' among us, I'm not strong

Snatched right in front of me, out of my control
So low, oh no, these parents, they don't know
What they're getting into
When they bring their kids into the Garten of the Banban
Now, we let our fears unfold

Radio, radio, radio waves
Lookin' lifelike with their bright eyes
Radio, radio, radio waves
Lookin' lifelike with their bright eyes

Echoes in the playroom
I'm bouncin' off the walls
Will you come home soon?
I'm dronin' through the halls

I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything
I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on (yeah)
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything

I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything
I'm hangin' on
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything

I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything
I'll never let go, I'm hangin' on (yeah)
Missin' you, missin' me, missin' everything"

Except no one heard jack shit.

"W-Why aren't you dudes sayin' anything about my mixtape?" Banban asked, confused.

"What mixtape? Nothing came out of that thing." Sanders explained.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Oh I get it now! This is a fanfiction, not a show, so you can't hear any music! Silly old me!

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Nightwing came out of the bathroom, looking ready for any challenge that could come in his way. What he didn't know was that Plankton had watched him the whole time-wait wait wait that sounded way gayer than I meant it to be. Uh, Plankton was waiting by a tree to tell him something.

"Oh Nightwing, how you doin'? Or should I say Dick Grayson?"

That last part shocked Nightwing, He had absolutely no idea how Plankton could have known his real name.

"W-What do you mean by Dick Grayson?" He asked, trying to act oblivious.

"Don't try pulling that trick on me man! Cause I've got plenty of proof of that!" Plankton said as he pulled out a file, which contained a bunch of info on Nightwing, ranging from his early life all the way to when he joined Total Drama.

"H-How? Where did you get all this?"

"Not important. Now what is important is that now, unless you want me to ruin your life, you're more or less my slave."

Nightwing was angry and tried to punch Plankton, before the latter shoved that file in his face. "You're really mad big guy? Keep doing so, won't change anythin'!"

"Why? Why do something like that?" Nightwing asked, trying to keep himself from attacking Plankton.

"What do you think an evil genius like me do with this information? Not try to blackmail you to do anything I want? HAH! See you later, and remember, do whatever the HELL I ask for!"

Plankton then left Nightwing to his own devices, with the latter raging at his blackmailing.

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Confessional: Nightwing

Nightwing: That man is diabolical! If I try to go against him and tell everyone, he'll just reveal my identity! Just wait till I find a way to stop him!

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At Team Pee Pee's cabin, Cabby was scrambling trying find her missing file. She looked at every nook and cranny in the cabin to see where it was, but had no luck whatsoever. "Where is it? WHERE IS IT? Should be somewhere, but not here!"

Leafy decideed to go check up on her. "Oh Cabby, my bestest friend in the whole wild world who hasn't betrayed me! Is there something bothering you?"

"Y-Yes! A file of mine's gone! I've no idea where it was or who took it and it's driving me nuts!"

Leafy's forced smile looked even more forced for a moment. "Silly little Cabby, you don't need those dumb files! So long as everyone's your friend, they are useless!"

"B-But I need those files to-" Cabby said before Leafy put her finger on her mouth.

"Hush hush! Be a good friend and never use those files ever again!"

Cabby hesitated to answer, but felt obligated to do so, so she did. "F-Fine. I will."

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: I don't feel good about lying to Leafy, b-but I don't want to lose my friend, a-and I also don't want to not use my files, so really, that's the only real solution.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: I love how nice Cabby is! Nowhere near as much as me, but if she can ignore her needs for mine, that's a selfless individual!

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At the Team Cocoa cabin, Cocoa Cookie was at the top bunk, admiring Player from afar as she was writing in her diary.

"Dear Diary" She wrote. "Player is so nice and kind and adorable and handsome. All I want is to be with him and and cherish him for the rest of my-" She stopped as she realized how embarrassing it was.

"Cocoa Cookie?" Player asked. "Are you coming down for breakfast or what?"

Cocoa Cookie could hardly answer as she was scared to talk to Player, instead deciding to pretend she's asleep.

"Huh. Guess you don't want to eat then."

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie was sipping some cocoa to control herself.

Cocoa: I-I should try confessing. B-But what if he hates me? What if he'll cruelly reject me in front of everyone? I-I just can't!

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All 34 remaining contestants were eating in the recently opened Mess Hall, the food given by Swag and Gordman. It was a bunch of grub as usual, far below average compared to even the worst restaurants, and almost everyone hated it. Keyword being almost.

"This stuff is great pal!" Gumshoe declared as he stuffed a bunch of grub down his throat. "Beats all those instant noodles which I can barely afford!"

Cordelia looked a bit worried. "If this thing is what you consider to be better than your regular diet, I'm a bit worried about you detective."

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: Normally, my friend Sumia is the one who looks after the other shepherds, but since she isn't here, I'll have to take a page from her book and look after my teammates wellbeing.

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Nick was allowed access to far better food via his butler sending him some, making everyone around him jealous.

"Connor mate." He said to Connor who was not too far from him. "You're richer than me, why aren't you bloody eating actual food?"

"I prefer to have more of a challenge here." He replied. "If I wanted good stuff, I'll be at home."

"Even not staying in a nice bed would be a challenge for you." Said Sonic. "Eat the rich, amirite?"

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Confessional: Sonic

Sonic: Since last challenge, I am severely doubting that Connor has any kind of self awareness. He'd probably try arguing he's had it rougher than us cuz he's bored all the time!

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Bea was eating the grub much faster then everyone else, as if she wanted to get over with it as quickly as possible. Nichelle used that as an opportunity to strike.

"Wow, you're a real fast eater, aren't ya?" She sarcastically asked. "I worry about your diet, hon'."

Bea silently stepped on Nichelle's foot, which really fuckin' hurt.

"Oooooh! How do your bare feet feel as if they're made of metal?!"

"...Shut your trap."

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Probably the first time someone asked about my feet without coming across as a real creep.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: ARGH! That arrogant bitch is gon' get it! Wait, did I just describe myself?

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: This conflict is never gonna end well on its own mon! I might try to see if I could get the two girls to bury the hatchet.

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Chris's airhorn blew into everyone's ears as he made an announcement.

"Attention campers! Meet me up in the usual challenge are, aka the one from yesterday! And that goes for you two, interns!"

Swag was disappointed. "You kidding me man? I was looking at my waifu's butt!" He pointed at Sonic like that wojak meme.

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Confessional: Amy Rose

Amy: Is it bad that I want to smash that guys's face in?

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The three teams arrived at the challenge site, which now had a medium sized Ancient Greece in the center of it, with Chris wearing a roman emperor-escue outfit and sitting on top a throne.

"Greetings my fellow gladiators!" Chris welcomed in a tone befit to one of a king. "Today shall begin the ultimate battle to see which team is the strongest!"

"How did you build this whole colosseum in a day?" Player asked.

Chris immediately dropped the whole emperor style of speech. "Pretty simple: I didn't. This whole thing is made of cardboard! Took like five minutes to install."

"That doesn't bode well to your production budget." Nick said.

"So what, do you want me to build a FUCKING colosseum for a single challenge? Fuck off. Go back to "Dysfunctional Damp" or whatever the hell my daughter's ripoff show is!"

Gordman tried to reason with Chris. "Sir, It would be practical if you don't blow up at the contestants about your personal life."

"And for you, it would be practical if you shut the fuck up and let me do the challenge!"

Gordman decided to shut up for now.

"Anywho. Today's challenge is a 12 round gauntlet! All 3 teams will have a single representive each round, randomly picked by a wheel. Every round the three chosen ones will duel till only one remains, giving their team a point. The team with the most points wins the challenge blah blah BLAH!"

Bea looked quite thrilled. "...About time my strength can come into play."

"Good for you Bea! Oh, and just so you know, only one team can win this challenge!"

Chris's statement led to a number of gasps among the players.

"That's right! Today, we'll have our season's first double elimination! So you gotta be extra prepared for this shit!"

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Double elimination you say? Interesting. So long as Team Cocoa wins the challenge, both me and Plankton's teams will lose a member, giving us an opportunity to take out the biggest threats on both of our teams.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: Yeah baby! This girl's got the perfect opportunity to show off her awesomeness to her team!

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Confessional: Homer Simpson

Homer was writing his own will at the moment.

Homer: I want all my  belongings to be given to Santa Claus, for he has treated me far better than the rest of my family. Oh, and Bart can get all the debt from my crippling gambling addiction.

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor was writing his own will at the moment

Connor: I want my body to be sent to NASA and preserved in pristine condition so that they can potentially revive me centuries later.

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"This challenge's only rule is that you can't kill your opponents, which hopefully is understood by everyone, including the ones who've done that before."

Pillow's usual smile turned to a frown.

"One last thing: since Team Cocoa is down two members compared to Team Rose and Team Pee Pee-"

"DON"T REMIND ME OF THAT! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Cocoa Cookie yelled and then cried.

"Drama queen." LSP remarked.

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Confessional: Lumpy Space Princess

LSP: Now that I like think about it, there's probably, like, some princess in Ooo with that name, in which case, I'm like not sorry at all girl!

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"As I was saying, you guys have two less members than normal, which means that my two interns will fill in the void."

Gordman was angry. "Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want to get my ass kicked!"

To which Swag countered with "I for one do want my ass to get kicked, especially by a certain blue hedgehog!"

"You're on the same team retard!" Gordman reminded him.

"Sad face." Swag said out loud.

"Without further ado, let's pick our first gladiators! Gordman, spin the wheel!"

Gordman spins the wheel like he was ordered to, with three wheels for each specific team by the way, and lands on 3 paculiar choices.

"Team Cocoa's representative is Ash! Team Rose's is Wonder Woman and Team Pee Pee's is Mona! Get in the arena now!"

Ash was nervous. "W-Wait! Shouldn't we at least prepare for our battle?"

"Nope. But at least you can use Pikachu so stop bitching and go!"

The three players moved into the arena quickly, with Ash being gifted his Pikachu to help him fight in this match.

"The match starts in 3, 2, 1 GO!"

Ash was the first to attack, making Pikachu shock Wonder Woman, which did hardly anything to her.

"What? How did she shrug it off her like that?"

Wonder Woman looked down at Ash. "I was made by the Gods themselves out of clay, no mere mortal can even scratch me!

She then swung at Pikachu, knocking him straight out of the arena.

"PIKACHU!" Ash yelled as he went to check up on Pikachu to see if he was okay.

"And Ash lost the match for his team!" Chris announced. "It's down to Mona and Wondie, but the match might as well be over!"

Mona didn't even bother trying to challenge Diana, as she instead called it forfeit by getting out of the arena.

"That didn't last long did it? Diana Prince is the winner of the first round! Team Rose gets a point!"

"M-Mona! That's not nice! You should've at least tried to fight her!" Leafy yelled in disbelief.

"I don't know pal, I probably would've done the same thing. That lady's nuts in power compared to most of us." Gumshoe said, trying to calm her down.

"Gumshoe does have a point Leafy." Cabby said.

At Team Rose, the team were celebrating Diana's victory, with Boba Fett being the main exception.

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Wonder Woman is incredibly strong. With her on our team, all the strength based challenges wouldn't be an issue. Unless...

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Chris was ready to announce the next batch of weirdos. "For our second round, the gladiators will be: Sonic, Amy and Rottytops!"

Amy was incredibly happy to fight Sonic. "WHOOO! That hedgehog's gonna be mine!"

Meanwhile, Sonic wasn't too thrilled. "Great."

And Rottytops was even more excited than Amy. "AWESOME! Imma go kick some butt now!" She then entered the arena as quickly as possible.

"Alright everyone, match starts now!"

Amy ran towards Sonic to give him a couple kisses, but the latter had none of it and got out the arena at lightning speed, disqualifying him from the round.

"AAAAANNNNDDDDD Sonic's out in record time! Now its between the love struck cat and the sexy zombie girl!

"I ain't a cat! I'm a hedgehog!" Amy corrected him.

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Confessional: Player

Player: I'm a big Sonic fan and even I thought she was a cat!

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The cat-I mean hedgehog, pink hedgehog decided to focus on taking down the zombie gal. She swung her hammer at her head and yelled "HAYAHHH!" as she knocked her head right out of Rottytops's body. which horrified her.

"OH MY GOSH! I-I didn't mean to do that! I didn't think that would've done so much serious dama-" And then Rottytops kicked her and knocked her out on the ground, all whilst not having a head.

Meanwhile, her head was laughing out loud. "HEHEHE! Your face was priceless!" Her body then went ahead and put the head right back to its proper place. "Did ya forget I can separate my limbs you idiot?! HAH!"

"And Rottytops wins her team their first point! She was damn lucky that Sonic was coincidentally paired up against Amy!"

"Great, that hedgehog bailed on us again." Nick complained.

Player tried defending Sonic. "I mean, I'd say it was completely justified if you ask me. No guy wants to get chased by someone like Amy."

"Y-Yeah, t-totally, sweetie!" Cocoa Cookie said, barely able to hide her crush on Player, even if the latter was still completely oblivious.

"For round three we have: Nick, Nichelle and Jeffy!"

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: Oh fuck me! Why do I get to go up against her?

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy: Man, I've smacked so many hoes before, fucking changing my diaper is harder than this!

Jeffy then smacked his diaper.

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"BOOYAH!" Nichelle yelled in excitement. "This is gon' be a piece of cake!"

Bea smirked. "Sure. Be my guest."

"Round three starts now!"

Nichelle tried to trash talk Jeffy before attacking him. "What's up retarded white boy? Wanna get a taste of my power?"

Nick yelled "That was extremely cringy!"

Jeffy didn't bother paying attention and just punched Nichelle in the face.

"HEY! What the hell? Get a load of this!"

She tried to round house kick him but Jeffy simply blocked that with his helmet.

He then smacked her in the face multiple times until she had a black eye.

And finally, Jeffy ran towards Nick and knocked him down as if he was a horse.

"And surprisingly, Jeffy wins his team a second point!"

Everyone was flabgasted by what the hell just happened, especially Nichelle, who had just gotten back up and was furious.

"ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME? HOW COULD I LOSE? THIS IS SO RIGGED YOU GUYS!"

Before Nichelle could continue her temper tantrum, Jeffy hit her one more time for good measure.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: UGH! THAT BRAT! HE'LL PAY FOR THIS!

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"For round four, the selected fighters are: Swagmaster6969696969 for Team Cocoa, even if he's not actually on the team, Bea for Team Rose and Johnny Cage for Team Pee Pee!"

Swag danced around in excitement. "YAY! I get to battle with the brown feet waifu!"

Bea was raging with fury at Swag's comment, and was preparing to kick his ass in battle.

And Johnny Cage was just laughing at the both of them, Swag for being a pervert and Bea for seeming like an edgelord. "Heh, this shitshow's amazing! None of my movies were as funny as this!"

"I can agree on that Johnny! Let the games begin!"

Bea instantly targeted Swag at the start, running towards him and yelling "HAYAH!" as she karate kicked him in the shin.

Which he liked.

"Oh My Jeebuz, that sweet sweet taste of pain from your feet has made my balls comfy as hell!"

To which Bea responded by punching him in the jugular, giving him a black eye instantly

"YOU DISGUSTING PERVERT!"

"Not the first nor the last girl to say this about him." Gordman remarked.

"Swag's unsurprisingly out of the challenge, making this a duel between martial artists. Who's gonna win? Find out next commercial break-wait, there is none! Cuz fuck cable channels am I right?!"

Bea's fighting spirit had only just started however, as she went on the offensive towards Johnny Cage.

Johnny wasn't scared at all, and blocked Bea's punch with his fists.

She then tried to kick him, but Johnny jumped up to avoid it.

"Too bad girl." He bragged. "It's now clear who's the better martial artist!"

Johnny decided to end this brawl by trying to kick Bea, but she instead caught his foot in mid air, and then slammed him into the ground.

"H-How the fuck?" Johnny asked in confusion.

"Never underestimate my strength, ever."

"And with that, Bea wins the fourth round! Team Cocoa's still got no points whilst the others have 2! They better pick up the pace if they wanna win!"

Dee Jay grabbed Bea to congratulate her. "Amazing job mon! Your rhythm was fantastic!"

"...Thank you." Bea responded.

"Now for round five, our fighters are: Pillow for Cocoa, Cream for Rose and Brody for Pee Pee!"

All 3 fighters went into the arena.

1 brutal beating later...

"And Cream The Rabbit wins for her team!"

"Good on you Cream, showing those dumb adults who's boss!" Amy said to Cream, who was jumping and dancing to Brody and Pillow's unconscious bodies.

"Round Six: LSP for Cocoa, Donald for Rose and Gumshoe for Pee Pee!"

Gumshoe wasn't too thrilled to enter the arena, to say the least. "Woah, can I um, concede pal? I-I'm not a fighter, not at all!"

"Can you stop being a wuss and just fight?!" Rottytops yelled at him, scaring poor Gumshoe.

"A-Alright, I will, pal."

As the three fighters entered the arena, collective silence filled the whole crowd.

Donald tried to attack LSP, who simply just the arena, which made the duck ragequit and leave as well.

Gumshoe was the last one standing, petrified of what he thought was to come.

"Well that was the worst match by far! Gumshoe somehow wins!"

Gumshoe was as perplexed as everyone else by his victory. "I won? I WON!"

"Now here are the current standings of our challenge:

Team Pee Pee has 3 points.

Team Rose also has 3.

And Team Cocoa has zero!"

The other two teams laughed at Team Cocoa for sucking again.

"Since we're about halfway through, I say you guys deserve a break! See you in about 20 minutes!"

Half the competitors rested from their battles, whilst the other half were preparing for their own fights.

Team Pee Pee were all certain of their victory.

Cabby decided to make a little speech about it. "What can I say everyone? For once, it seems like we've finally got this in the bag!

"Yeah, we totally are, miss file cabinet!" Plankton said in a secretly sarcastic tone.

"Totally bro! We managed to win the first 2 challenges despite being screwed in both!" Brody added. "No way we can't win when we're not screwed over by unseen stuff!"

"We should keep that enthusiasm to a healthy degree, we don't want to lose due to our bloated egos, mind you." Cordelia explained.

Johnny Cage was the only one unconvinced. "Yeah, as if you're winning this without my help! I bet we'll blow this shit if this guy ain't winning!"

Leafy slapped Johnny. "Quit being a meanie!"

Meanwhile, Plankton saw Nightwing alone, isolated from everyone else, and went to him.

Plankton decided to greet the vigilante in a way that he knew would anger him. "Hey circus clown."

"D-Don't call me that! And don't try to act like you don't know why!"

"Whatever. I'm just here to inform ya on this little plan of mine!"

"Whatever it is, I beg of you, please don't try to make me hurt someone innocent in this!"

Plankton then whispered into his ear the plan.

"I-I see. I'll do as you wish sir."

Plankton's face had a giant smirk on his face at that moment.

All of Team Cocoa were anticipating a massive loss in the moment, so they already didn't have the best morale.

"How the hell can everyone on this team be so USELESS!" Nick yelled in frustration.

"Don't try to act wike you didn't also lose Nick, that's stupid, kinda like me!" Mr. Cheese replied.

"Can we stop with this fighting please, I can't take it!" Cocoa Cookie said. "I-I'm not very confident we're winning, I know, but it's the bare minimum to not argue over it!"

"I have a better idea." Player began. "Why can't we just strive harder to win, maybe then, and only then, can we do so? I've never won all that much in my life, and this show is no different. But just because we've never won, doesn't mean we can't! In every challenge we should give our absolute best, even if victory is seemingly not in sight! I've already lost so much, yet I've never given up. Why can't we do the same? Why can't we ALL give our best to win this competition? It's our time guys, we must NEVER give up!"

To which Mr. Cheese completely ignored. "Don't wisten to him guys. He's a woser. Do whatever you wanna do and we'll win!"

Everyone agreed with Mr. Cheese once again, upsetting Player, once again.

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Confessional: Player

Player: That manipulative, egomanical cheese head ARGH!

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Man, messin' with that woser Pwayer for no reason is my favorite past time!

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Breaktime was over, as the contestants returned to the arena to continue the challenge.

"All right, now that everything's back on track, I shall announce our next few combatants!" Chris declared.

"We're screwed." Player bluntly said.

"For Team Cocoa we've got Connor Roy! For Rose, we've got, UGH, Toby Queef! And for Pee Pee, it's Leafy!"

Leafy celebrated. "YAY! I get to kick mean people's butts!"

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: I've got quite the expertise in throwing knives from my exile to Yoyleland! The racist and the NFT owner are so gonna get it!

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: Man, I wished we could battle our own teammates, cuz if we could, I'd run over all those black people with mah truck! But alas, this ain't Afghanistan.

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Right after she entered the arena, Leafy gave a scowl and pulled out 2 knives from nowhere.

"You're not nice, YOU DIE!"

She then threw like a million knives into her opponents direction, all heading straight into Toby Queef. Connor however, was able to hide behind Queef's MASSIVE asshole, feeling every single knife that had entered his body.

The constant knife throwing was only stopped by Chris's pleads.

"Woah woah woah! Chill down girl! You can't do that! That could kill him! And, after what happened last episode, I'm not taking any chances, and thus, Leafy is disqualified!"

Leafy was angry at this. "Are you SERIOUS? I'm the nicest, most kindest girl EVER and you're treating me like THIS!"

Cabby tried to calm Leafy down a bit. "Sheesh. Calm down Leafy, it's nothing too serious. We're still in the lead and all."

"Pffffft! Whatever! I'm too nice for this crap anyway!"

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: Leafy's behavior today was quite...concerning, may I say, but she's not usually like this, so I'll just treat as a simple bad day for her and move on! Can't let a friend be disappointed in me, after all.

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"Alright, let's check up on Toby Queef!"

Toby Queef was laying on the ground, barely alive as knives penetrated his body.

"I guess he's gonna need a little help at the infirmary! And with that, Connor Roy is the first of his team to win!"

Connor celebrated at his accomplishment. "HAH! See? I could be useful after all!"

"Witerally anyone on our team could've done it Connor." Mr. Cheese said to crush his dreams. "Except Nick maybe."

To which Nick responded with a "Hey!"

"At least we won this time." Player added. "That's nice. Maybe we can even win if we're lucky."

"Round Eight: Homer Vs Banban Vs Plankton!"

"Forget about it." Player said in dismay.

"What are you talking about? I can beat those two with my eyes closed!" Homer declared.

At the battlefield, Banban tried to attack Homer. Keyword being "tried" as all he did was throw out some wimp slaps that barely affected the fat guy.

"See? I am invincible!" Homer boasted.

Which Banban somehow believed. "Really bro? Shit, I'll see myself out!" He then left the arena like a fucking wimp, with the entire crowd booing him.

Homer then attacked Plankton, who uncharactistcly didn't fight back at all.

He yelled. "Oh no, who's gonna save me from this monster!" In a faux scared tone as Homer lightly touched him.

Homer then punched Plankton, and he falls to the ground. Strangely, he had a wide grin as he was punched.

"In the most shocking turn of events since The Fall Of Rome, Homer Simpson actually does well in a challenge!"

Homer inevitably celebrates. "I am so smart! I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART!"

"And for round nine, we have: Mr. Cheese for Team Cocoa, Dee Jay for Team Rose and Cabby for Team Pee Pee!"

"All right mon, that shouldn't be too hard!" Dee Jay proclaims.

But Mr. Cheese wasn't having it. "Yeah, totawwy! Don't whine when you inevitabwy wose!"

Cabby, by comparison, was more nervous. "O-Ok, g-got that!"

At the arena, Dee Jay started by dancing around, knocking Cabby out quickly.

He tried to also attack Mr. Cheese, who responded by pulling out a knife to his throat.

"WOAH MON! CALM DOWN! I AIN'T BAD, IMMA GOOD PERSON! I GIVE UP OKAY?! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" He begged to not get his throat slit.

"Hmmm, Ok then." Mr. Cheese said as he pulled down on his knife and let Dee Jay go.

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Confessional: Player

Player: I'm not gonna say Mr. Cheese killed Mae but Mr. Cheese definitely killed Mae.

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"And Mr. Cheese wins! All teams are now tied with exactly 3 points each! These last few rounds are CERTAINLY going to turn the tides, so for our third to last round, we have: Player from Team Cocoa, Frisk from Team Rose and Cordelia from Team Pee Pee!"

Player gulped in fear as he entered the arena.

Cordelia took out a spear and began the battle. "Don't think I won't go easy on you just because I don't have my trusty pegasus with me!"

She attacked Player with the spear but he managed to keep running away from her, so she set her sights to Frisk instead.

"Sorry for any injuries kid, but I'll win it for my team!"

She tried to fight him (?), but she (?) kept dodging every attack of hers with ease, exhausting Cordelia quite quickly, until, she couldn't do it anymore and dropped her spear.

"I-I c-can't, d-do this!" She said, sweating profoundly as she fell on the ground.

Frisk then stood around and did nothing as usual, until they (?) were caught off guard by Player grabbing the fallen spear and knocking her (?) out.

"Well, it looks like, I win!" He claimed, shocked by his own achievement.

"Player wins the tenth round, putting his team all the way from last, to first, place! That's really fucking cool, couldn't have seen that shit coming in any FUCKING way! This has never fucking happened before, HOORAY!" Chris said in a sarcastic manner.

Cocoa Cookie went to congratulate Player. "Good job Player! You did a FANTASTIC job!"

"Thanks Cocoa Cookie, that's real nice of you!"

Cocoa Cookie once again blushed at that comment.

"As for our penultimate round, our combatants are: Cocoa Cookie for the team named after her favorite thing, Boba Fett for team rose, and Nightwing for team pee pee!"

Nightwing gave Plankton a glare as he walked into the arena.

Cocoa Cookie was too nervous to battle at all, but instead of taking care of the weaker target, Boba Fett decided to take care of Nightwing first.

He tried to shoot at him with his blaster, but he kept dodging, almost as if Fett was intentionally not trying to hit him, until Nightwing gave up.

"Alright alright, you got me. I'll go, this competition sucks anyway."

Boba Fett stopped shooting. "How remarcably convinient for me. So much so, that I don't feel like winning like this. I concede too."

Everyone was shocked at this sudden end.

"WHAAAAAT?" Nichelle yelled. "H-How? HOW COULD YOU? YOU QUIT?!"

Even Chris himself was confused. "O-Okay, I suppose. Um, Cocoa Cookie wins and, since Team Cocoa is guaranteed safe from elimination, and this is a double elimination, I suppose we don't need to do round 12 after all!"

Team Cocoa actually got to celebrate a victory for once, all yelling in excitement and all that shit.

Meanwhile, Team Rose and Pee Pee both groaned in frustration at their respective teammates for randomly quitting in the middle of the challenge.

Bea in particular, was quite mad that Boba Fett failed. "Are you a serious person? We could've easily won that round, and potentially the challenge, if your sorry ass even tried participating! WE'RE GOING TO LOSE SOMEONE AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Bea even tried to attack Fett, but Dee Jay kept her away from doing that.

"Woah mon, calm down! Don't be like this! We can discuss that in a civil manner later!"

Bea stopped her attempted assault, and just quietly went on her way.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: That...wasn't good, on my part. Whenever I'm filled with...rage I tend to attack anyone within my sight. Nichelle already tested my limits before, but now, I'm not sure If I can control it any more. I...need time to...think, to...calm down.

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In the Team Cocoa cabin, everyone was widely celebrating their shady as hell victory.

Player was the only to think it was shady, anyhow. "Guys, don't you think that win was kind of...I dunno, strange? Like, some of our opponents seemed to almost sabotage their own teams."

Which Mr. Cheese made sure to interrupt. "Whatever, woser Pwayer is just mad we sucked at the start! Meanwhile, I did the best in the chawwenge! Where's my praise?"

Everyone agreed with Mr. Cheese. "Yeah, Cheese man is like, the only guy to be, like, not lame!" LSP said.

Ash also agreed. "Yeah, he's kinda cool, not gonna lie!"

Even Nick got in on the Mr. Cheese bandwagon. "I don't like Mr. Cheese, but for the sake of not getting crucified, I'm just gonna pretend I am."

All of the Mr. Cheese supporters went out the cabin for another gaming night, leaving only Player, Cocoa Cookie and Connor.

"Aaaaaannnd, everyone loves Mr. Cheese, who would've guessed?"

Cocoa Cookie tried to reassure him. "Come on Player, I believe you over Mr. Cheese!"

"That's good to know, but 1 person isn't much better than 0."

Connor then tried to insert himself in the conversation. "Y'know what Player, even though Mr. Cheese is genuinely the coolest guy I have ever met, I won't hesitate to vote him off. Does that make you happy?"

"Maybe? I don't know man! I'm just gonna go sleep or something."

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor: I always felt my dad was cool deep inside, even if he was a bigoted asshole who singlehandedly caused global warming and the Iraq war, so I've got some experience in problematic idols.

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At Team Rose, Bea was meditating to keep her cool after her outburst, while everyone else was outside the cabin discussing who to vote off.

Sanders was the one who started that discussion. "Ok, who are we voting off tonight?"

"How 'bout Toby Queef?" Amy campaigned. "He smells bad, he's a big jerk, and he's a bad influence towards poor Cream!"

Meanwhile, Nichelle decided to make her feelings about a certain girl clear. "BEA! That JERK needs to get out ASAP!"

Boba Fett tried to calm Nichelle down. "Easy there girl, don't try voting purely on your emotion."

"And what about you?" Sanders asked. "You quit the last round, even though you would have most definitely WON the whole fight!"

"Why vote off someone who failed once when you can use this ceremony to take out the bigger threats early?" He answered, clearly intent to get rid of a particular target.

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Plankton's little scheme is a pretty big gamble, one that risks my stay in the game. But if this particular gamble pays off, we'll control the game in no time.

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2 thirds of the cast were walking to Camp Wawanakwa's campfire, all dreading the inevitable elimination that they would go through right now.

The first team to go through the elimination were Team Rose. All 12 were sitting on stumps, except Toby Queef, who was in a hospital bed, half dead.

"Welcome to your first elimination Team Rose. Now, do you guys need to explain how this works, or not?"

"Eh, why not?" Amy answered.

"Good. Gordman, explain it for me."

"Sure thing, boss. Anyway, I have 11 marshmellows, If I call your name, you get one, if you don't, you're eliminated and you will be sent into the TLC of Shame with the Fist Thingy of Despair-goddamn these names suck balls! What retard came up with them? Swag?"

"Whatever." Bea told him. "Just...continue."

"Fine, before you vote, I'll give out reasons as to why you might be targeted.

First, Toby Queef. You're a super racist asshole and people don't like that."

Queef inevitably didn't respond.

"Boba Fett. You straight up quit the challenge for no fucking reason, what the hell dude?"

"I have my own reason." He replied.

"Yeah sure. Anyway, the last one I want to mention is Wonder Woman."

"Huh, me?"

"Yeah you. You are so blatantly stronger than everyone else you already got a MASSIVE target on your back."

"Really? That's kind of a weak reason if you ask me." Amy said.

Chris decided this was enough. "Whatever. Go vote already!"

"Ok, now that everyone's done voting, I'm just going to reveal who's safe."

"Sanders"

"Cream"

"Dee Jay"

"Toby Queef"

"Nichelle"

"Frisk"

"Donald Duck"

"Amy"

"And Banban."

"WOOOOOOO! I'm the greatest muthafucka there is!"

"Shut the fuck up! Now, Bea, Boba Fett and Wonder Woman all got votes. But Bea doesn't need to worry since she only got one vote!"

As Bea grabbed her marshmellow, she had a little smirk on her face. "And I already know who it was from."

"Wonder Woman and Boba Fett, the one of you who will stay for another round, with only 3 votes to the others 8 is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...Boba Fett.

Fett grabbed his marshmellow and put it in his pocket. "Good thing this team values strategy over knee jerk vote offs."

Wonder Woman was a bit sad, but understood why she got out. "I guess this is the end for me, well, good luck."

She then flew into the TLC of Shame.

"Is it bad that I already don't miss her? Whatever, Team Pee Pee, your turn!"

Team Rose left the scene right as Team Pee Pee entered.

All 12 took their seats and waited, with Plankton sitting on the same stump as Gumshoe.

"Alright, you guys probably saw that last elimination, so we won't bother explaining anything." Gordman began. "Now for the ones in danger, we have:"

"Nightwing! You quit quite easily in the final round, not even really trying."

"I know that." Nightwing responded. "Just get on with it."

"Leafy!"

"Huh? Why? I'm the nicest person around!"

"Yeah right. You went too hard on your opponents, getting yourself disqualified.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: At least I'm nice, and I actually tried!

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"And Cabby! You got defeated quite quickly. Pretty weak reasoning, but hey, we need like 3 per minimum so..."

"It's ok Mr. intern, I'm not worried about being eliminated."

"Alright, so, the ones with no votes are:"

"Leafy"

"Cabby"

"Gumshoe"

"Mona"

"Ashley"

"Cordelia"

"Rottytops"

"Brody"

"Plankton"

"And Johnny Cage."

This left only Nightwing and Jeffy for some reason.

"I usually try to keep up SOME suspense but it's so obvious this time I'll just say Jeffy is safe. He only got a vote from Leafy anyway."

Nightwing decided to not bother saying a word to his teammates as he allowed himself to get hit by the Fist Thingy of Despair into the TLC of Shame.

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Confessional: Nightwing

Nightwing: Sorry Bruce, I just couldn't do it. But hey, at least my secret identity is still a secret, right?

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But then Plankton decided to ruin that for no reason. "Hey guys, did ya know Nightwing's real name is Dick Grayson? Freaking Dick! HAHAHAHHAHA"

Everyone else laughed at his name except Cabby, who was a bit suspicious about that.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: That's strange, how could Plankton know about Nightwing's real name.

She then gasped.

Cabby: Maybe he read my file?! Now I don't want to point fingers at anyone, lest I get voted off, so I'll just ignore this for now.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Man oh man did that gamble REALLY pay off! Now we're down 2 big threats and everyone's trusting us! I'm awesome!

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"And so ends our first of several double eliminations. Will Nichelle stop her beef with Bea, will Cocoa Cookie confess her love, and will someone NOT get put in the medical tent next episode?! Find out next time on

Total

Drama

Multiversal

MADNESS!"

We see Banban approach Boba Fett.

"Woah man, you just pulled a pro gamer move right there! Can we be allies or some shit?"

"Sure."

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And that was it! Too bad Gordman, Sanders and Ashley never got to fight though.

Both Wonder Woman and Nightwing, who are from the same franchise, were the first victims of Plankton and Boba Fett's alliance, with Banban joining the fray as well!

Next episode will have a pretty boring challenge, so we'll mainly focus on the interactions this time.

Be sure to leave a review for your thoughts on this episode!

Ciao!

Chapter Text

Luckyhill: Yep, Plankton's plan is going without a hitch outside of Cabby being a teeny tiny bit suspicious of him.

Anon: Honestly, I'd say both Plankton and Mr. Cheese are the main antagonists until one leaves. Pillow and Boba Fett are also the secondary antagonists.

Thenewsubwayguy: What about Johnny and Pillow is so off, anyway?

Episode 5: Treasuring The Ones You Love

The episode began with Cocoa Cookie alone in her team's cabin, practicing a love confession.

"S-So, P-Player, Y-You're s-so, handsome and nice and gorgeous-NO! Too upfront! T-Try something less heavy handed and more subtle!"

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie: Why am I so bad at this?! Back in Earthbread there's this really nice composer named Mint Choco, who makes beautiful music and clearly likes me back, yet I was never brave enough to confess my feelings! And, if I can't do it to him, who says this guy who knows me will?

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While she was still trying to think of what to say again, Connor walked into the room. "Seems like there's some love stuff going on between you and Player, not like it wasn't obvious.

Cocoa was, obviously, embarrassed. "C-Connor? What are you doing? Oh my gosh! Are you going to tell everyone?!"

Connor tried to calm her down. "Relax, relax. I'm not saying anything, in fact, I'm thinking you should say something, if you catch my drift."

"A-Are you trying to make me confess?"

"Pretty much. You might as well get on with it as fast as possible, since you're so lovestruck."

Cocoa Cookie at first tried arguing against that, but couldn't find any excuse. "O-ok. A-Are you sure?"

"Trust me, do something with your life, or you'll end up sad and lonely. N-Not like me, but you get the idea."

"Alright, thank you Connor."

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor: With all that charisma oozing in me, It's pretty obvious I will be president! Remember future Conheads, "A vote for Connor is a vote for Honor!"

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Banban was in the bathroom, taking a big dump when he heard someone walking outside. "Yo, dude, give me some toilet paper! I'm taking a big shit! Man, that should be the title of my next single."

That someone was Boba Fett, who was cringing at everything Banban has said ever since he had his autism cured. "You and I are gonna have a talk Banban. It's about our alliance, so you better listen."

"Fine fine. Lemme take a shit and I'll do so!"

Boba Fett wasn't having it. "Goodbye. See you at the challenge."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: That Banban seems to think an alliance just means voting for the same person, how naive of him.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Now that I've got an alliance I never need to worry about getting voted off EVER! I can just sit back, relax and write lyrics for my next single!

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The whole of Team Pee Pee were talking, which was started by Cabby.

"Everyone, there's something that needs to be said." Cabby began. "We've not been doing very well in the challenges thus far."

"Um, not really dude?" Brody countered, unsure of what she is refering to. "We won in the first two, and probably would've in the last one if the emo guy we just voted off didn't give up for no reason!"

Leafy wasn't fine with Brody slandering the words of Cabby (in her eyes)."UGH! Cabby is just trying to help and you're being a bad friend! What she meant was that we only won due to strategies that were super mean, when we should all strive to be super nice!"

"Your preaching about "niceness" is getting more and more retarded by the minute." Johnny Cage remarked. "You don't make it big in Hollywood by being nice, you do it by intimidating others! And the same applies to this show."

"W-What I meant, before Leafy, hopefully unintentionally, misinterpreted my reasoning, was that we need a smart leader for us to succeed in the future!" Cabby explained.

People already started arguing about who should be leader, starting with Plankton. "Should've said that sooner, cuz I clearly am the only one fit to rule over these meatheads!"

Then Cordelia. "I don't know about that. I'd say a good team leader would be someone with both physical and mental strength, which honestly fits me more.

And finally Leafy. "You need a heroic leader like me! Or at least that was what my mean friend Pin used to say!"

Cabby just facepalmed.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: If I'm being honest, I just started that discussion expecting everyone to agree on me being team leader, to keep tabs on any suspicious activity, but it seems I was too optimistic.

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Chris's intercom went off. "It's CHALLENGE TIME! Make your way to the dock now!"

All 3 teams had arrived at the dock, with Chris and the two interns awaiting for them in badly made pirate outfits.

"Is today's challenge a contest on who can make the shittiest halloween costumes?" Johnny sarcastically asked.

"Yeah dude, boss made us wear these gay fucking costumes!" Swag complained. "And I'm only gay for Sonic!"

Sonic didn't particularly appreciate that compliment. "Probably the only person I've ever seen who's both gay and homophobic.

" I was planning to talk like a pirate for a bit, but since you're all too fucking serious to take a joke, apparently, I'll just let Gordman explain the challenge." Chris said.

"Fucking finally." Banban said. "A chapter that doesn't take half of it to start the challenge!"

"Weirdo." Gordman replied, confused. "Today's challenge involves opening these treasure chests!" He pointed towards 3 treasure tests, which Homer instantly tried to open.

"Oh, free stuff!" He said as he shaked the chest he was holding to open it, only for it to fall on his foot. "D'OH!" He cried.

Gordman decided to ignore him. "Anyways, the deal with these treasure chests is that there are only 3 keys which can open them. Naturally, we've scattered hundreds of identical ones alongside the real deals, with no possible indication as to which is a good key or not. Some are in the ground, the trees, the sky, you get the idea. You'll go on a dumb, luck based key hunt and then try to see if these keys work. Last team to open a chest loses."

"That's it? This is just dumb! A luck based challenge like this can't let me show off any of my cool moves!" Nichelle complained.

That made Bea angry. "WHY CAN"T YOU-I-I mean, Nichelle, d-don't be arrogant." She then looked the other way.

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Okay, now this whole rivalry is just dumb mon.

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"Ignoring that." Gordman said. "The challenge starts now. Grab as many keys as you can, and pray to Jesus that they work!"

All three teams decided to run off across the island and find as many keys as possible. The first one to find a key was Brody, who tripped over it.

"Sweet mother of whatever religion I'm in!" He yelled. "We're winnin' this guys!"

He then went to one of the treasure chests and tried to open it. it failed.

But he didn't give up yet. "Ok maybe this one." He said as he tried to open another chest and failed again. "Maybe this time?" You can guess what happened.

"You retard, if one chest doesn't open with a key, NONE OF THEM WILL!" Gordman yelled, frustrated. "So don't waste your time on this earth and grab another key and see if it works!"

"Ok, ok, dude got it."

Gumshoe pulled out a large metal object from under his coat and began scanning the ground. "This metal detector's been used in plenty of my own investigations, and with it, we'll be able to find lots of keys!" He explained as he already had it vibrate to something next to him. "Found one!"

He then looked up and saw Cabby was the metal object he felt. "Oh, hey Miss Cabby!"

"Hey there Gumshoe." Cabby greeted him back. "It seems you've got this challenge under control, so me and Leafy will be going our way to find more keys, and also to not impede you on your search."

To which Leafy replied with. "Dang right we are! Watch me get some!"

She then pulled out a shovel out of thin air and dug under her feet like 10 KMs. "Aaaaaannnddd nothing! Oh well!"

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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe

Gumshoe: Good to have someone appreciate my work for once! That Cabby lady is so kind! Not that Leafy one though, no matter what she thinks.

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Mr. Cheese was commanding Team Cocoa at the moment. "Awright team! To win this chawwenge we must spwit up a wittle!"

"Wow Mr. Cheese, you're actually doing the bare minimum as a leader!" Player told him sarcastically.

"And I say we spwit ourselves by people who wike Mr. Cheese, and people who don't wike Mr. Cheese!"

"Never mind what I just said."

All the Mr. Cheese stans except Connor and Nick glared at Player. "Are you like, actually disrespecting Mr. Cheese?!" LSP asked in anger. "That's like, mean!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Homer yelled at him. "Hater alert! Hater alert!"

Cocoa Cookie was the only one brave enough to stand up for Player. "ENOUGH! What is wrong with you people?! Bullying a kind and beautiful-I mean n-nice guy just because he's not going along with the popular opinion?! That, is, vile! You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"No, you should be ashamed of yourself for not praising the cheese god and siding with a nonbeliever." Pillow countered.

"Uh, guys, don't you think we're taking things too far?" Connor asked. "I love Mr. Cheese as much as the next guy, but bullying people who don't like him is a bit much in my opinion."

Ash agreed. "Right Connor, I don't think-"

"SHUT UP! Do you want to end up like those two?!" Mr. Cheese yelled at Ash and Connor, which managed to shut the two up. "Wet's go guys."

The Mr. Cheese cult went off, leaving Cocoa Cookie and Player to their own devices.

"So, um, thanks for calling them out?" Player said. "It's nice to know someone's not fallen for his tricks.

"No need to thank me, I was simply doing the right thing. And at least Ash and Connor are not fine with their treatment of you."

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Confessional: Player

Player: Does Mr. Cheese actually want to win, or is he here just to make my life miserable? Or maybe even both.

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: For the record, I don't actually like Mr. Cheese, but I pretend to do so to not get kicked off the show. When the time is right though, I will get rid of that cheddar wearing cunt!

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"Everyone, I've got an idea." Boba Fett said to his team. "I'll use my jetpack to fly over, giving me a bird's eye view of the whole island, making it easier than ever to spot any keys on the ground, and even the sky, as they explained."

"OMG that's so true bestie!" Banban said like a sqeaking teenage girl, to which Boba Fett responded by pointing a gun at him.

"Never say that again."

"Um, are we sure you're gonna do something, or are you just gonna give up on us like last time?" Amy asked.

"Yet I won the science fair challenge for our team, so it's not as if I'm always useless."

"Fine, I guess. I don't feel like arguing, I'd rather think about Sonic all day."

Boba Fett then flew with his jetpack to the skies.

Toby Queef had the bright idea of pulling a van out of his ass (literally). "Alrighty there faggots, let's fucking go!"

Everyone was disgusted by that. "Yo, now the author is literally pulling shit up his own ass!" Banban retardedly said. "Hey!"

Fuck him, anyways.

"What Banban was I think trying to ask is how you had that out of your butthole this whole time!" Sanders told Toby Queef.

"You're fuckin' retarded if you're confused how I snuck in mah van though security! Anyways, hop on in anyone who ain't black!"

Everyone on Team Rose who wasn't black (or brown, like Bea) went in Queef's van as he drove it around the island, hitting a bunch of trees along the way, some of which dropped keys, which Boba Fett grabbed when he saw them.

This left Nichelle, Sanders, Dee Jay and Bea all alone. "So, we searching for keys or not?" Sanders asked.

Dee Jay was the one to answer. "I'd say we split into pairs mon. Don't want those two interacting with each other at all." He then points to Nichelle and Bea staring at each other.

"Good point. I'll be with Nichelle I suppose, we black girls work well together, or at least we should."

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Bea scared the crap outta me yesterday, so I'll talk to her 'bout it, hopefully get her back in the groove, and end that whole rivalry she has with Nichelle along the way.

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We cut to Team Pee Pee, most of whom were following Gumshoe as he kept on finding keys with his metal detector, and his teammates grabbing them and putting them in a bag. All except one.

"Johnny, you're supposed to help us, yet you haven't lifted a finger for any key!" Cordelia complained to Johnny Cage.

"First off, this challenge is the most boring shit ever. Second, why get my beautiful hands dirty trynna find an item that has a 99.99% chance of being useless? Thirdly, the press is gonna fucking eat me alive if they catch me doing something like this."

"Blah blah blah shut it and get to work Cage!" Plankton yelled.

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: God, this team fucking sucks! Would be awesome as shit if I could switch, but apparently I can't! Fucking outrage!

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Team Rose was being driven by Toby Queef with his van, and all the members were grabbing any key they see.

Banban went to Queef. "Yo, Mr. Queef, don't you think that kid looks kinda asian?" He points to Frisk. "If you don't allow black people in your van, why members of the yellow race here?"

Toby Queef panicked. "Oh shit! You're right! Hey kid, tell your fam I say "Oh, herro!" and fuck off!"

He then stopped the van, threw Frisk off of it, and drove off.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: WOOO! My social game's fucking outstanding! Everyone loves my stupid red devil ass, just like in real life! This is a Garten Of Banban W right there!

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Cabby, Leafy and Jeffy were all collecting keys. Well, Cabby was, as the other two were mostly arguing instead over pointless shit.

"Now Jeffy, to be nice, all you need to do is to NOT do bad stuff, okay?"

Jeffy failed at that, since he hit Leafy in the face.

"Shut the fuck up hoe. You can't tell me what to fucking do!" He yelled at Leafy.

The Leaf was ready to smack the retard. "That's not nice! What is wrong with you?"

"Are you fucking high?!"

Cabby couldn't take any more of this. "Oh my goodness! Will you two just stop fighting already?! We've got a challenge to win and you're doing nothing but pointless arguing!"

Leafy then got mad at Cabby. "Cabby, are you a good friend or not?! If you are, don't question me!"

Cabby wanted to argue against that, but gave up. "Ok, sorry for bothering you."

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: That Cabby can be so selfish sometimes! First she thinks she can write bullcrap about everyone, now she tries to defend that mean kid? If she wants to be seen as a nice person, she needs to not think of just herself for once!

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Mr. Cheese and co. were doing pretty much anything but the challenge. They were in the mess hall, eating like a bunch of pigs and kissing Mr. Cheese's ass.

"Oh, our lord and savior, what shall we do now?" Asked Nick, in a blatantly fake tone that somehow no one noticed.

"Hush now Nick, I say we rewax and prepare ourselves to kick Pwayer and the brown girl with him out of the game!" Mr. Cheese declared.

"Oh, Mr. Cheese, have my babies!" Pillow demanded.

"First off, I don't have an object fetish, second, I'm gay."

Everyone was surprised to hear that. "Wowzers! Yet another good reason to not be homophobic anymore!" Homer said.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Man, these guys are so easy to manipulate it's hiwarious! The moment I get rid of those two, is the moment the game is pretty much won for me!

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Player and Cocoa Cookie were hastily looking around for keys, knowing it probably wouldn't help their situation that much, so the former decided to engage in conversation with the latter.

"It's just so unfair." Player began. "I came here to win, have some fun, and make friends, but then Mr. Cheese had to ruin it all by building around this cult of personality of his!"

Cocoa Cookie sympathized with his plight. "I know that feeling all too well."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Back home at Earthbread, a lot of cookies, especially the younger ones, made fun of me for my love of cocoa. Called me mean names like "cocoa addict" or "cum drinker". My friends always told me to ignore them, but it didn't help me much. While I've mostly gotten used to it, it still hurts me whenever someone uses my passion against me."

Player was a bit shocked by what she said. "Wow, that really sucks. So are you trying to say this is worse or something like that?"

"N-No no no! I-I wasn't trying to invalidate either of our experiences, I-I just, wanted to understand each other, i-is all."

"Well if that's the case, I say you did a pretty good job! You're a good friend Cocoa, and that'll I ever need."

Cocoa Cookie started to blush a bit, but then stopped doing so with a straight face. "R-Right, good to know Player. E-Even if we get seperated by elimination, w-we'll still be in contact with each other, okay?"

"Sure. Good friends."

"Y-Yeah. Good friends."

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie: H-Honestly, I-I'm not even sure if I should tell him. He obviously isn't interested in me, b-but Connor told I-I should confess, so I'll think about it a b-bit more.

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Sanders and Nichelle were just walking about, not really bothering to search for any keys, as they assumed their teammates were taking care of that. Sanders was getting annoyed by Nichelle's petulant whining about losing in the last challenge.

"I can't believe that retard beat me! How am I supposed to keep my reputation when the dumbest people on earth can ruin it all?"

"Can you stop with that? You've said the exact same thing multiple times with just slightly different wording each time!"

"Well it's not my fault that these losers-"

Before Nichelle could finish, Sanders just walked off. "Hey, come back here!"

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: People say I've got quite the endurance in tolerating annoying people, so when Nichelle's pushed me to the limit like that, you know there's something wrong with her.

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Gordman and Swag were playing go fish to pass the time, with the latter having no idea how to actually play it.

"Do you go fish or not?" Gordman asked.

"Fishing is gay! Why can't we play Overwatch or something?"

"I don't wanna support a studio that caused someone's suicide."

"Bro what?"

We then see Gumshoe have trouble carrying his bag of keys, barely able to hold them in his hand and sweating like hell.

" *pant*, Hey, pal, got some, *pant*, keys!" He then fell to the ground as his teammates arrived to pick him up.

Johnny Cage opened the bag and started testing to see if any key fit. "We've got hundreds of these bad boys ready to go, so let's win this shit!"

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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe

Gumshoe: Good thing my team seems to appreciate me here pal. Those guys at the LAPD always make fun of me for every time I do something wrong, but here, everyone is so nice and understanding, and even the jerks are just randos no one tolerates rather than some people in power!

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Player and Cocoa Cookie were walking together in the woods, with the latter trying to talk to the former about her crush.

"So, P-Player, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you." She said. "I-It's about my...um..."

"What exactly? Come on, tell me, I'm waiting."

She hesitates to answer, but eventually gives in. "Well I'm, I-I'm into you, so to speak."

"What? Really? I didn't know that!"

"Y-Yeah. I was...trying to keep it a secret, since I was afraid of how you'd react, but now, I-I'm not afraid anymore! Say, do you feel the same?"

Player thought about it for a bit, thinking of what to say. Ultimately, he spoke with his true thoughts. "Cocoa Cookie, as much as I appreciate your companionship, I think I'll pass on that. I just...don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. "

"I-If that's the case, then I suppose we're just gonna be friends, right?"

"Yup. Friends is all we need to be!"

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Confessional: Cocoa Cookie

Cocoa Cookie: Well, looks like I finally got that off my chest. And even though I didn't get the guy, there's always Mint Choco at home, so that's good.

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At the dock, all of team pee pee was there, tired of Johnny constantly trying out every single key they had.

"Doesn't fit." He said as the key he used, well, didn't fit. "Doesn't fit. Doesn't fit. Doesn't fit. Doesn't-Hey, it actually does fit! Hell yeah!" He yelled when he managed to finally open a chest.

"And so, Team Pee Pee wins immunity!" Chris announced, which made the team as a whole cheer for their victory. "One spot left, which of Rose or Cocoa will take silver for the day? Find out now!"

Cordelia congratulated Gumshoe. "Good on you detective. You singlehandedly won us this challenge!"

Gumshoe began to cry. "T-Thank you."

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Well that was the most boring challenge of all time! All we did was grab some stupid keys and nothing else!

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Meanwhile, Johnny decided to see what was in the chest, and found...

"What the hell is this?"

He pointed to the jar of a yellow substance in the chest.

"Oh that?" Chris answered. "Your team name is Team Pee Pee, so it would only make sense that your reward would be a jar of piss!"

Boba Fett was flying through the sky, collecting keys from trees and all that shit. He then heard the intercom go off.

"Attention campers! Team Pee Pee has won immunity! This means that there is exactly one spot up for grabs in terms of not losing a member, so I suggest to hurry up!"

Boba Fett, deciding not to waste any time, heated up his jetpack to get to the dock as soon as possible.

During that, the members of team cocoa see Boba speeding up in the air.

"Shit!" Nick says. "Guys, we gotta hurry up! Or we're losing!"

"Oh siwwy wittle Nick." Mr. Cheese remarks. "If we lose, we can vote off the two nonbelievers, which is awesome!"

"Not sure how good of an idea that is." Connor says before he gets elbowed by Pillow.

"You mess with the cheese, you mess with me, and you don't want to mess with me!" Pillow nonchalantly says as she pulls out a knife, scaring Connor.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: A wittle woss never hurt anybody. My whole team woves me, which is going to make the merge a breeze!

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Boba Fett had arrived with a dozen or so keys to Chris, ready to win this challenge.

"So all I need to do is try to open a chest with these keys, right?" He asked.

"Yup. Pretty much." Chris answered.

"Yo Chris!" Swag said. "No not the lame Chris, I meant my friend Chris! I didn't know piss tastes so good! If it wasn't for the glass shards up my ass, I'll be a happy man!"

Both Chrises vomited at hearing that.

Boba Fett ignored it and started to try out his keys.

Team Rose was mostly bored by that point, as they had been endlessly driving for hours for some reason.

Amy went to the driver's seat. "Um, Mr. racist, what are you doing?"

"Oh it's nothin', I just been drivin' in circles to kill as many hippies as possible!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Damn right I am bitch! I ran over some hippie asshole on the way here, he's probably just a mush of red liquid by now!"

Amy then smacks Toby Queef with her hammer, knocking him out and stopping the van.

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Confessional: Amy Rose

Amy: I just can't with this guy! His parents must've not bothered raising him at all for him to turn out this bad!

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Boba Fett finally managed to open his chest, his team now immune.

"And Team Rose is victorious!" Chris yelled. "That means Team Cocoa will lose a member for almost the third time in a row!"

"Good." Boba Fett said nonchalantly.

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: With my actions last challenge, I think it's better if I get in my team's good graces again before I do anything suspicious, especially since I nearly got eliminated last time.

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The intercom went off next to Team Cocoa. "Attention campers! Team Rose has won the challenge, meaning Team Cocoa will lose one of their own tonight! Think carefully of who to vote off!"

Team Cocoa heard this, mostly dissapointed by them losing for the third damn time.

Mostly.

"Hah! Now we can vote of Pwayer and Cocoa Cookie!" Mr. Cheese celebrated.

Which pissed Nick off. "Are you bloody serious mate? We lost because we did jack shit the entire challenge and you're fine with it?"

"Yes I am. Cheeseheads! He's doubting me!"

Homer then went on the attack, strangling Nick. whilst saying "Why you little!"

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: I can't deal with this shit any more! I'm getting rid of Mr. Cheese as if my life depends on it!

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Cocoa Cookie and Player arrived to their team's cabin, with most of them looking at them with a piercing glare.

"Woah, guys, we sure did lose." Player said, sweating, trying to not sound like he's uncomfortable. "So who are we voting off?"

Mr. Cheese laughs. "Why you two! You did nothing the whole time!"

Cocoa Cookie tries to defend her and Player. "I mean, you guys didn't do anything either, so why are we singled out in that regard?"

"Because you guys don't like Mr. Cheese." Connor explains, which makes Mr. Cheese, Pillow & Homer glare at him. "What? I was just saying the quiet part out loud!"

"Ok, what he said." Mr. Cheese finally admitted.

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Confessional: Player

Player: Great, just as we two had a moment, Mr. Cheese just had to ruin it for us! Oh well, hopefully it's not me. The worst case scenario is me losing so soon.

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At the Team Pee Pee cabin, Plankton was trying to talk to Johnny Cage.

"Sup, mister Cage? You've made some pretty good movies sir! Great actor!"

"Damn right I am. And let me guess, you want somethin' from me?"

"Yup. Are you 'kay with making a little alliance to control the game?"

Johnny grabbed Plankton in his hand and began squishing him. "And what for? All we do is vote for the same person anyway, and I don't want to share the spotlight with anyone else, no, I'm too good for that!

Plankton could hardly breathe. "S-Seriously?"

"Seriously." Johnny Cage said as he let Plankton go. "Don't try that shit again, cuz it won't ever work."

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: Making an alliance is stupid as hell. Even if I was the leader who did everything, the bastard who's with me would likely find some way to take all the credit. So, I prefer being a lone wolf.

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Team Cocoa had made their way to the elimination ceremony, but unlike last time, everyone was sure of who would go home this time.

"Alright, Team Cocoa, how does it feel to lose 3 times so soon?" Chris asked, trying to get a reaction out of them.

"Terrible, thank you for asking." Player said sarcastically. "Now get this over with so I can cry in bed about losing."

"Love that enthusiasm Player! Gordman, give out some reasons!"

"Sure thing boss." Gordman said. "Player and Cocoa Cookie, both of you are hated by the whole team for not worshiping Mr. Cheese."

"This is so unfair!" Cocoa complained. "What did we even do wrong?"

"Hey girl, It's not my fault your team is full of gullible retards. There's also Mr. Cheese, who is an arrogant asshole."

"You were saying?" Pillow asked as she held up a knife.

"I-I meant that he is a god but atheists exist so he'd get some votes for that!"

"Much better." Mr. Cheese remarked.

"Alright everyone, you've cast your votes, the ones with no votes are:"

"Homer."

"WOOHOO!"

"LSP:

"Yah girl!"

"Ash"

"Connor"

"Sonic"

"Nick"

"Pillow"

"And Player!"

"Wait, so I'm not going? YES!" Player then realized Cocoa Cookie was in danger. "Oh, sorry for that."

"No it's fine, It really doesn't matter." Cocoa reassured him.

"And it's down between Mr. Cheese and Cocoa Cookie! I mean, it's not that hard to tell who goes, but not as much as Nightwing so I'll keep the suspense! The last one safe with just 2 votes is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...Mr. Cheese!"

"Yay! You can't beat the Cheese baby! And take that Pwayer! Your girlfriend just got out!"

Before Cocoa Cookie leaves, she actually kisses Player on the cheek, making him blush a bit.

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Confessional: Player

Player: Wow, so I guess that's the second brown girl that's into me.

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"Goodbye everyone! Hope to see you-" Cocoa Cookie was hit by the Fist Thingy of Despair as she said this. "SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Player was mad at Mr. Cheese. "Alright Mr. Cheese, you were already a piece of work, but now it's personal! You're going down!"

"Yeah, I want to see you try, woser!"

Chris then interrupted this. "Well that was the worst episode by far! Will the Player and Mr. Cheese conflict end any time soon? Will Plankton manage to find someone to make an alliance with on his team? And will the other teams actually get good screen time? Find out all of this and more on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

And now, we say goodbye to Cocoa Cookie, the first non submitted and even slightly relevant character to get out! Honestly, she could've done more, but alas, it just wasn't her time. Though if I make a season 2, she wil; definitely be in it and get some character outside of Player.

Anyways, yeah this episode sucked. If your name wasn't Cocoa, Player or Mr. Cheese, your storyline was either nonexistent or didn't advance at all! Not a whole lot of funny jokes either, and combined with the shorter than usual chapter, makes this probably the lowest point thus far in this story. I do, however, promise that the next one will be FAR better.

Next episode, our contestants will travel through the Multiverse for the first time, getting into various strange scenarios and racist shit.

This episode there was supposed to have a scene with Dee Jay and Bea talking about the latter's outburst last episode, with her more or less stating she's got trouble emoting since she was raised to some emotionless warrior, but I could never find any proper way to word it out without coming across as super unnatural, so they just...didn't get a scene this time. Don't worry though, they're both in the show long enough that one episode of nothing ain't too bad.

Ciao!

Chapter Text

So I decided to try my hand at an intro featuring all 36 contestants. It was surprisingly easier than I thought I'd be.

Hope you enjoy it.

The intro begins with a total of four spotlights and cameras coming out of random places, such as out of the grass or from a tree, the last two knocking down a beaver and a squirrel. Then a clapperboard clamps down, and the camera starts moving through Camp Wawanakwa and past the host of the show, Chris, who is drinking coffee, and commanding Gordman and Swag from a folding chair. It then goes to the top of the cliff and then down it, where Brody, Rottytops and Plankton are swimming in it, and then Brody farts after seeing a shark. The scene pans over to Donald's ship, which has Ashley, Mona, Nightwing and Ash in it as well, all reacting in disgust to the fart bubbles.

In the woods, Gumshoe is investigating a deer's butt when it kicks him in the balls with its leg and runs away. He falls to the ground in pain as Cabby, who is in the bushes writing what she saw on her file, until we pan to Leafy right next to her with a disapproving look.

Near a waterfall, Jeffy and Cream were slapfighing each other on a canoe, and neither of them noticed the impending danger that they were in. Naturally, they fell off the waterfall, landed on a plank on which Bea was practicing fighting alongside Wonder Woman, but their combined weight caused the plank to break and all 4 of them to fall.

We are now once again in the woods, where Toby Queef was trying to run over Nichelle, Dee Jay and Sanders in his van because they were black, but they escaped and Nick, who was in the vicinity, got run over by him instead.

We are now in the kitchen with Swag trying (and failing) to cook some food for the contestants as we pan to Frisk and Homer, both tied up and looking scared, flailing around trying to escape (well, Homer was. Frisk didn't really do anything). Meanwhile, Cocoa Cookie was drinking from her cup of cocoa peacefully when Cordelia came up from behind and Cocoa, scared of a potential attacker, threw her hot cocoa at Cordelia's face, making her scream in pain.

At the confessional, Banban did a dab as Pillow destroyed the wall with an axe, which made Banban run away in fear.

And then at the beach, we cut to Mr. Cheese posing for Mae, Connor and Monika, who were going gaga for him. Johnny Cage tried to get the same results taking his shirt off, but no one gave a shit.

Player was looking at Mr. Cheese, jealous, and then a bird pooped on his head.

And finally, Lumpy Space Princess was on the dock, looking at TikTok on her phone, when she was suddenly hit with water from above. We then cut to the sky where we see that Boba Fett was there with his jetpack as he flew away, the smoke helping transition into the next scene.

At the campfire, Amy and Sonic looked like they were leaning in for a kiss, until we see Sonic use his spin dash on Amy to get the chili dogs that she held behind her, then munching on them at rapid speed.

We then pan over to see the entire cast standing near the campfire, with the words "Total Drama Multiversal Madness" above them, as the scene ended.

Again, hope you guys liked this intro!

I'll give you some hints at two of the guest characters featured in the next chapter: They are both musicians. One is a beat boxer from outer space, and one wants to unite all the asian race.

Ciao!

Chapter Text

Warning for usage of a word that starts with n to refer to people with black skin. Don't use it on others in real life.

Luckyhill: I mean, it really isn't that far off from how Mr. Cheese acts normally. The difference here is that Team Cocoa didn't make fun of Player for being a loser, so he decided to take it upon himself to make his life hell.

Luckyhill again, on chapter 9: Yeah, that was a joke. Don't feel bad about it.

G-Man 2.0: Every 3 team season's gonna have a Team Victory, though it doesn't mean the whole team would be wiped out, just that they lose the most out of the 3.

1602jaw: I really only put the romance stuff to make Cocoa Cookie more interesting before she goes. Also funny how you seem to be rooting for the villains here.

Guest: Yeah, I kind of agree with this criticism. Though it's worth noting that some of the characters with little screentime are planned to get it a bit later. Take Amy for instance, right now, she's not very prominent, but eventually, she'll get a good amount of screentime.

Anonymous:

Episode 6: Ebola 2, Electric Black Guy-u

It was 8 AM at Camp Wawanakwa, and the teams were mainly preparing for the rest of the day in their cabins.

At Team Cocoa's cabin, Mr. Cheese had a little idea. "Guys, now that the cocoa girl's gone, can we just rename our team to Team Cheese now?"

Everyone nods except Player, who instead makes fun of Mr. Cheese. "Can you let go with the ego a bit? Is it not enough that you brainwashed the whole team to worship you, bullied anyone who didn't, vandalized that racist guy's van, now you need to be the mascot?"

We cut to the outside of the cabin, as Player is kicked out of it.

Sonic was confused. "Hey guys, I've been outta the loop for a while, but what's up with Mr. Cheese?"

Ash decided to tell him. "Oh, nothing, it's just Mr. Cheese has attracted, let's just say a somewhat rabid fanbase amongst our team, and they don't like Player very much."

"Huh, how did I not know that?"

"Maybe because you were hiding from Amy as much as possible?"

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Confessional: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic: I mean, can anyone really blame me?

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: Good thing that Player and Sonic aren't a part of Mr. Cheese's fanclub, as that would give me 3 votes. Coupled with Ash and Connor, who seem easy to convince, Mr. Cheese will be out in no time!

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At Team Rose's cabin, Banban was playing Fortnite on his tablet alongside Dee Jay, Nichelle and Bea on their tablets to get the last two to bury the hatchet, instead, it makes everything worse.

"Why didn't you shoot that guy in the head? Now I gotta revive your sorry ass again!" Nichelle complained about Bea's gaming skills.

Bea fired back. "So what? You haven't killed a single opponent the entire match!"

"Excuse me rage machine?"

"What did you say?!"

Dee Jay whispered something into Banban's ear. "I don't think it's working mon."

"Yeah no shit nigga!"

That made Dee Jay cringe.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Strange. Maybe they would've gotten along more if they played Zero Build.

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: *sigh* Is it even worth trying mon? They're never gon' get along at this rate! And this is coming from someone known for his positivity.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: At this point, it's better just not engaging with Nichelle at all. All it does is worsen our characters.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: Hopefully the next few challenges can allow me to show my strength, I really need to make people know how badass I am!

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At Team Pee Pee's, Leafy was making a little graphic for her team. Cordelia noticed it and was curious.

"Hey Leafy." She said.

"H-HI Cordelia! How you doin'?"

"Nothing in particular. Just wondering what you're writing, exactly."

"Oh this little thing?" She points to her piece of paper. "It's a little chart to explain how nice everyone on my team is! Y'know, to really make everyone understand the dynamics!"

"T-That's a bit, I don't know, weird?" Cordelia said. "What exactly is up with your obsession with niceness?"

Leafy's usual smile turned into a frown. "That's something a mean person would say! And you aren't supposed to be mean Cordelia, stick to your own kind!"

Cordelia gulped and just left.

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: There's just something so...fake about Leafy. While she does seem nice, all of her good acts are surface level at best, and she can be quite entitled to whatever she wants.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: Selfish woman! She has no idea what true niceness is!

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Leafy had managed to gather all of her teammates to the cabin to reveal her chart.

"Alrighty everyone, who is interested in hearing about my niceness chart?!"

No one said anything. In fact, you could hear some crickets as well.

"Well okay then! Here it is!"

Leafy's niceness chart read like this:

The Nicest: Leafy

Pretty nice: Cabby, Mona

Kinda nice: Rottytops, Ashley, Cordelia

Not Nice Enough: Gumshoe, Brody

Not Nice: Johnny Cage, Plankton

PURE EVIL: Jeffy

Who?: Nightwing

Jeffy started to cry. " *sniff* You think Jeffy's a bad boy? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Yeah I do! You're the least nice person I've seen in my life!" Leafy yelled at him, making him cry even more.

"L-Leafy! Don't you think you were being a bit harsh on that boy?" Cabby questions. "I-I know you don't like him, a-and he is a brat, but he's still a kid!"

"Cabby, I'm your friend, remember? And friends aren't supposed to fight, so I suggest shutting up!"

Cabby did just that.

Leafy also crossed out her name and wrote it in the "kinda nice" tier.

Jeffy was also hitting his head in the walls at the moment.

"That list is kinda bull." Johnny Cage notes. "And sexist as well. All the girls are considered "nicer" than the guys. How the fuck can Ashley be considered nicer than Gumshoe and Brody?"

"What did you say?" Leafy rhetorically asked before also crossing Johnny's name out and putting him in "PURE EVIL"

"Bitch." Johnny says before leaving the cabin to go somewhere else.

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy keeps banging his head on the toilet.

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Confessional: Brody

Brody: Bro, Leafy's givin' me pretty bad vibes to be honest, like, why do we even need a niceness chart? It should be a bro chart!

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The contestants were now eating in the mess hall. Strangely, all they had on the menu was chocolate cake, which had a bit of a weird taste, but still good, so they didn't question it.

All but one anyway.

"Why do I have a feeling this is a trap?" Sonic said. "Cuz why else would they give us something to eat that's not on the level of Eggman's toe jam?"

"Bro, why are you insulting my food?" Swag complained. "I worked hard to give my waifu good shit to eat and this is how you repay me? *sob*"

Gordman face palmed as usual.

Homer decided to defend Swag. "Yeah, Sonic, that's mean. Besides, this is-" He then ate some more chocolate cake."-delicious!"

Homer then farted.

"Aw man, didn't know chili dogs were part of the recipe for chocolate cake!" Sonic sarcastically said.

"They are?" Homer asked retardedly.

Sonic decided to double down on the sarcasm. "I guess they are genius!"

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Confessional: Homer Simpson

Homer: WOOOO! I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART!

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Bea, in spite of her reputation, was stuffing all that sugary goodness down her mouth. At that moment, she looked far happier than ever previously seen, confusing her teammates, who've mostly seen her tough side.

Nichelle obviously took that opportunity to mock her rival. "Enjoying yourself, Bea? Cuz you are eating like a pig right 'bout now!"

Bea was embarrassed by her look, to the point where she ran off in fear.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: ...Fine, I like eating sweets, a lot. You're probably laughing at me on your couch eating potato chips, bloody jerks.

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Suddenly, the intercom played, as usual when starting a challenge. "Attention campers! Meet me near the dock! This is not a challenge! I repeat This! Is! Not! A! Challenge!" Chris's voice said.

Naturally, most people with even half a braincell could tell it was a trap.

"Classic Chris doing a classic trick, I'm 100% sure!" Nichelle says on her way to the dock.

"Wow, you must be a fucking genius Nichelle, no way in hell would ANYONE be able to figure that out!" Banban unironically said. "Can I eat your pancreas now?"

"No."

Banban has a realistic panic attack and runs to the bathroom.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Hello fellow readers! My favorite food is pancreases, but no one seems to give me any! To give me a delicious pancreas, please contact me with my phone number: 69420! The best pancreas gets free access to all 20 Garten of Banban games!

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All 31 contestants blah blah blah arrive blah blah blah and Chris is there blah blah blah. Oh, and they installed a big sheet of paper and a movie projector.

"For once, I am not calling you for a challenge!"

No one bought that lie.

"Anyways, a dangerous virus has spread all around the world again!" Chris explained, shocking the cast.

"Shit! I don't want to go social distancing again!" Connor complained. "The 2020 election years were the worst years in American history due to that!"

"Good thing I'm undead, so I don't have to worry about dying from COVID!" Rottytops bragged. "Anyone wanna get bitten so they can become zombies as well, hmmm?"

Jeffy did. "Fuck yeah hoe! Bite me in the ass!"

"Word of advice." Johnny said. "Never say anything that can be interpreted as sexual in the retarded puppet's earshot."

"Well actually, it's not COVID! That's too recent. Instead, the virus resurfacing today is Ebola!"

Everyone gasped at that last word.

"Shit!" Toby Queef said. "I told 'em faggots that's what's gon' happen when we let those niggers loose in Disney movies! Thankfully, I got me just the bright idea to stop 'em!" He then pulls out a shotgun from his ass and aims it at Nichelle, Sanders, Bea and Dee Jay, all frozen in fear but Bea, who responded with a quiet scowl.

"Woah, woah, woah! Hang on Mr. Queef! Before you become the second contestant to kill their own teammate this season, we've got a little educational video brought in by a special guest! One who is black, and is currently doing some minor behind the scenes labor to get some cash after bankrupting himself for a 50k porn animation! Here he comes!"

Chris then points to a black guy wearing glasses and a red backwards cap.

"Hey guys! It's Verbalase, beatboxer from outer space! As a black man, it is my responsibility to explain the dangers of Ebola through a little music video! That and because I don't have any money, and I'm starting to think paying so much cash for a 3 minute animation of me getting my big black cock touched by my cartoon crush was not a good idea.

Verbalase-The Beatboxer From Outer Space (Cartoon Beatbox Battle)

"Bro why did you bring his porn addicted ass out?!" Banban angrily asked. "If he didn't cancel his show, I could've gotten the perfect opportunity to show off my godlike beatboxing skills!"

"Um, guys?" Ash asks. "What's going on? Ebola, Verbalase, COVID. So many topics you understand, but don't bother explaining to the rest of us!"

"Shut up Ash and crawl back to the irrelevant characters howe!" Mr. Cheese yelled at him, as he jumped into a hole labeled "irrelevant characters only!" alongside Amy, Donald, Mona, Ashley and Frisk."

"Whatever." Verbalase said. "Just watch this stupid video made a decade ago by some schmuck."

The video projector started playing a music video.

"Ebola" (Parody of LA Law)

By Rucka Rucka Ali

[Intro]
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la

[Verse 1]
Ah, I tell you where it's from (Africa)
That's from where Ebola comes (West Side)
It hides in the suitcase
Two days later it lands in the USA
I get it from my girlfriend and give it to my dad
I catch it on the subway and leave it in the cab
I eat it at Subway, drink it at Starbucks
Ebola's everywhere and I give no fucks

[Pre-Chorus]
They scared, it's bad
Ebola's gonna kill us all dead
They mad, how'd this happen?
Gotta make sure that nobody else gets it
I'm sorry but I have it and you have it or you'll get it
So forget it, don't sweat it, just let it be
I'm telling you Ebola's not the enemy, listen!

[Chorus]
I have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
And you have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
And we have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Everybody has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Selena has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Justin has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Taylor has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Jesus has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ebola!

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Young Thug

Gucci Grocery Bag

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[Post-Chorus]
Every shitty little village in Africa has Ebola
Every city in America is getting it now, just go with it, bruh

[Verse 2]
Airports, check if he's black
He could have Ebola so send him back
In fact keep a eye on the Black Eyed Peas
Mostly "Black" and "Guy", don't worry about Peas
And the Cosbys could have Ebola, also Oprah
Let's just close up Detroit 'til this crisis is contained
Don't let the Obamas on the plane 'cause

[Pre-Chorus]
They black, they could have Ebola
Might as well also watch for Arabs
If they have a brown face
We'll keep 'em safe in Guantanamo Bay
I'm sorry, everybody, for the drama
But we're gonna get Ebola if we let black people in
Ebola's not a country in Africa
It's the whole continent

[Chorus]
I have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
You have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Obama has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Kanye has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Will Smith has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
2Pac has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Steve Harvey has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Magic Johnson has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la and AIDS

[Bridge]
Diddy and Biggie and Jay-Z and Nas have Ebola
Stephanie, DJ & Kimmy Gibbler have Ebola
Every shitty little village in Africa-h has Ebola
Every city in America is getting it now, just go with the flow

[Chorus]
You have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Your mom has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Your uncle Tom has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ariana has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ben Affleck has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Matt Damon has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
He got it from Ben Affleck – La-la-la-la-la
The Kardashians have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ebola! (La-la-la-la-la)

[Outro]
I have some Ebola (La-la-la-la-la)
We all have Ebola (La-la-la-la-la)
We need some Ricola (La-la-la-la-la)
And some Pepsi Cola (La-la-la-la-la)
Tommy has Ebola (La-la-la-la-la)
Billy has Ebola (La-la-la-la-la)
Jason has Ebola (La-la-la-la-la)
Trini has Ebola – oh, wait, no, she died ages ago!

Everyone was completely baffled by what they just heard. Even Verbalase, the porn addicted beatboxer who put the video on, was left asking so many questions about that video.

"T-That's it?!" Cordelia asked. "I'm extremely confused by all this."

"Me too Miss Cordelia, me too." Cabby said, before noticing something weird. "H-Hey, y-your skin, it's-"

"BLACK!" Yelled almost the entire cast in unison, noticing the same thing too.

Everyone suddenly had black skin and large lips. Well, everyone who wasn't already black (Bea, Dee Jay, Nichelle, Sanders and Verbalase),Toby Queef and Chris himself.

Chris laughed at everyone for their predicament. "MUAHAHA! You retards fell right into my trap! I added Verbalase's semen into your chocolate cakes, or ebola cakes in this instance!"

"You got any way of reversing this Mr. McLean? I-I'm not against being black but it sure as hell won't help my presidential campaign!" Connor complained.

"Yeah! I don't wanna look like fucking Joseph for the rest of my life!" Jeffy chimed in. "He's the second or third worst SML main character!"

"And I don't want this to look like a netflix reboot with all the race swaps." Sonic joked. "At least be less generic, maybe change someone into a pakistani rather than an all black cast!"

"Oh, trust me, there is a way to go back to your illy white bodies! In fact, that is literally the challenge for today!"

"What is it then, tell us!" Demanded Homer.

"Right. Today's challenge is our very first multiverse challenge!"

Cordelia was confused by that term. "And what exactly is a multiverse?"

"The shit connecting every world. Anyways, here's how it works: Each team has a machine that will bring them to whatever universe they damn well please. To get rid of all the melanin in you, you need to extract the blood of the most hateful, most racist most not black people you can think of! And I'm sure you've already thought of some potential candidates for that!"

Everyone stared at Toby Queef, who was just staring at his black teammates.

"W-What the fuck Chris?! Didya seriously make everyone black just to piss me off! First I got me van ruined by some fags, now you make mah eyes bleed?! Imma leave right the fuck now!" Toby Queef yelled as he ran out into the woods, no one missing him, or hell, even noticing he was gone.

"And one last thing." Chris said. "I will give you guys one syringe for each team to collect the blood of a super racist fellow, which even the smallest drop of would rid all that horrible melanin from your body for good! A-And I also recommend that Bea, Dee Jay, Nichelle and Sanders don't use it, f-for obvious reasons."

He then handed over the syringes to the three teams as they went to the dimension machines.

The dimension machines are a simple, plain white square with a door in the front.

The first team to enter it were Team Rose, minus Toby Queef.

"Uh, guys, shouldn't we stop for Toby Queef to come with us?" Banban asked.

"He's been surprisingly unaffected by the thing that caused everyone to turn black." Sanders answered. "And I'd rather not interact with him as much as possible."

Toby Queef's van was covered head to wheel in cheese from a funny prank the cheese cult made to appease their lord and savior. Queef was quite pissed at that, to say the least.

He entered the van, started the engine and began driving it.

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Queef: If those cheese lovin' faggots think they can ruin mah truck, well, I'mma be ruinin' their vaginas in return!

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Team Pee Pee were now in the machine, which, like the outside, had absolutely nothing on the inside outside of a device that let them travel to whatever universe they wanted so long as they inputted the universe's number, which would be available from the database installed in the device, or, just press the "random" number doing what exactly you think it does.

"Ok, where the hell do we go?" Johnny asked. "I don't wanna look like a nigger for the rest of my life, cuz I'm too awesome to get racially profiled."

That casual use of the n-word, let alone the hard r variant, shocked his teammates.

"Johnny, that's not nice!" Leafy complained. "You can't say that word!"

"Pfft, woman, you do realize black people can say the n word however they want, right? Sure, it's hypocritical as all hell and tempting fate at it's finest, but I don't make the rules."

Leafy came to a realization. "Wait, really?! Ok then! Heya my niggas, wanna go win the challenge?"

Cabby elected to ignore the two n word users and took out one of her files. "According to excerpts from history books in my file, the most vile, racist man who ever lived was one Adolf Hitler, the leader of Nazi Germani from 1933 to 1945. It would be a good idea to travel to a universe in which he is still alive."

"Hitler, huh?" Johnny remarked whilst he had his hands on the back of his head. "I really wanna hit his balls, that'd feel good, and some good ol' publicity for my adoring fans as well!"

Brody decided to join in. "Yeah bro! Normally I'm against killing but Hitler's not a bro, so let's go kill Hitler!"

That last part offended Johnny. "Bro? I-I'm not your fucking bro kid! A-And don't you think your stupid ass can steal my thunder!

Brody was confused at Johnny's sudden aggression towards him, and he responded with a simple "Ok?".

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Confessional: Brody

Brody: D-Did I do something wrong? I dunno, but I really don't want someone to hate me, man!

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: Candy ass punk wants to take away my spotlight, what else is new?

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Team Cocoa was once again following Mr. Cheese's orders.

"Awright team cheese, wet's go to the multiverse!" He says. "Anyone got any ideas on where to go?"

"Any universe with Trump in it should be enough!" Homer said.

Nick surprisingly agreed. "For once, Homer says something logical."

"The American Healthcare System is not bad!"

"Nevermind."

Pillow however, completely ignored all that and decided to set the destination herself. She said a little "Oops!" as if she didn't intend for that to happen.

"Seriously Pillow?" Player asked, annoyed by her stupidity.

Sonic decided to lighten up the mood. "Pillow, I honestly don't care where you'll send me so long as it's not that universe where I have bandages."

As the machine began to travel through the multiverse, Toby Queef rapidly approached it with his van yelling "YEEHAW!" as this caused him to be transported alongside Team Cocoa.

Meanwhile, with Team Rose...

"Guys, can we go to the Johnny Test universe?!" Banban begged. "I always got picked on by my fellow Indie Horror friends for liking it, a-and it has some super smart scientist girls that can hopefully rid us of all this melanin!"

Everyone laughed.

"F-Fine! You assholes can suck on this!" Banban then presses the "random" button to send them to a random dimension.

Team Pee Pee had arrived in the universe that is exactly the same as ours except people pee with their pants on. Currently on 1945, a little bit before Hitler commited suicide, and conviniently, they just so happened to be in his bunker.

The first one to leave the square shaped machine was Brody.

"Wow! Never thought I'd see how the 20th century was in action! This looks sadder than the time I got kicked in the nuts by a woodpecker!"

Cabby was the next one to come by. "I agree with that Brody. Even the dark and desolate Indefinite Island wasn't as lonely."

As the rest of the team came out of the machine, a certain infamous figure walked by. He had a very unique looking dark haired moustache that no one this day and age will wear unless they hate jews, he wore a brown haired uniform with a nazi headband, and had the haircut an edgelord would have.

"I AM ADOLF HITLER, COMMANDER OF THE FOURTH REICH!" Yelled Hitler.

Adolf Hitler-Commander Of The Fourth Reich

"LITTLE KNOWN FACT: ALSO DOPE ON THE-" Before Hitler could finish his sentence, Johnny kicked him in the balls super hard, causing him to groan in pain and fall to the ground.

"Awesome. Now let's collect Hitler's nazi blood so we can become white again!" Johnny proclaimed.

Gumshoe took out the syringe. "That sound just as weird with context as it is without, pal."

But before they could extract his blood, a bunch of nazi soldiers burst in, ready to protect their leader.

"Diese Nigger versuchen, den Führer zu töten, hinter ihnen her!" Yelled one of the soldiers as they aimed their guns at Team Pee Pee.

"Crap, we gotta go guys!" Yelled Brody.

"Hey! Stop stealing my spotlight!" Johnny complained on the way out.

The team quickly got back in the machine and pushed the random button to quickly escape to another universe.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: Maybe if they were nicer with those guys we could have easily gotten that funny moustache man's blood with ease! He doesn't look like someone who could cause trouble!

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Team Cocoa had arrived in the homeland of Pillow and Leafy, better known as Goiky, a paradise populated mostly populated by living objects. At the moment they arrived, a nickel, a piece of wood, a bomb and a glass bottle were playing poker on the grass.

Nickel-The Inconsistent Character (BFDI/Inanimate Insanity, it's complicated)

Woody-The Scaredy Cat (BFDI)

Bomby-The Explosive One (BFDI)

Bottle-The Optimist (BFDI)

"Wow Nickel, you're really good at this!" The bottle congratulated her fellow object.

But the nickel was instead confused. "Uh, Bottle, you do realize you're my opponent, right?"

"So what? Anyone winning would make me happy!"

"Whatever floats your bubble." Bomby, who was eating a banana, said. "And I don't mean that bubble."

The dimensional machine then materialized into existence in front of the four objects, confusing them.

"Guys, what's that supposed to be?" Bomby asked.

"No idea but it's already scared poor Woody!" Nickel said as he pointed to Woody, who was screaming like crazy.

The members of the team got out of the square and the objects were weirded out by them. Except Bottle, she really didn't care.

"Wow guys, what are you supposed to be? Some kind of distant relatives to the David species who don't look ugly for once?" Nickel wondered.

Nick was the one to answer for his team. "Mate, no idea what Davids are. We're here because we're on a reality show and our challenge revolves around traveling to different universes to fix a certain problem. We won't be here for long so you shouldn't be bothered much."

"A reality show? Cool! A lot of the folks down in Goiky have competed in one called Battle For Dream Island! It was a pretty fun one when I wasn't blown apart!" Bomby said to them. "And why Goiky of all places?"

"I don't know. Ask her about it." Ash said as he pointed towards Pillow, who casually walked by in her usual blank expression, which was enough to scare most the objects.

"Holy guacamole with a side of ravioli! It's Pillow guys! RUN!" Nickel yelled in fear as he, Bomby and Woody fled the scene.

Bottle was still there though. "Oh hey Pillow, how've you been doing post-TPOT?" She said with a smile, not caring about anything.

Pillow's team was quite confused. "Pillow, what was that about?" Player asked her.

"Oh, that? People are just mean kid. Nothing weird at all."

"You guys think they'll elect me president here?" Connor asked out of nowhere, to which everyone responded with a "No!" all at once.

Toby Queef's van was also there, but he fell asleep and no one noticed it. Don't think I'd forget about it.

Team Rose arrived in a small recording room, where a youtuber was recording for his newest video.

Pewdiepie-The Previous #1 Most Subscribed Youtuber (Youtube)

"How's it goin' bros my name is Pewdiepie, here with another video!" Pewdiepie said, putting a particular focus on the last word, as he started his video, before getting knocked out in the head by Nichelle's fist very quickly.

"Hah! Always wanted to do that! Serves him right for giving one of my movies a bad review!"

Most of Team Rose glared harshly at Nichelle for that statement without her noticing. But regardless, she pulled oout her syringe and got some of Pewdiepie's blood in it and testing it on Banban, whose skin was still dark and his lips were still like Samuel Jackson's.

"See? I knew Pewdiepie wasn't a nazi! Take that liberals!" Banban bragged as he did a cringe dab to celebrate this new discovery.

Boba Fett was just bewildered. "I have no idea what you are saying, and honestly, I don't want to know."

They then all left for another universe like nothing happened.

Team Cocoa went to a hotel that was nearby, by far the biggest building in the area they were in. At the entrance, there were several object beings doing whatever the hell they felt like doing, such as a marker playing with dirt or a small cloud hoarding a crap ton of trash all to himself.

Homer saw a donut character and immediately lost his mind. "D-Doughnut?! And a giant one no less?! Come to papa!"

He then ran after that donut. "Get away from me you monster!" He yelled whilst trying to hide from the gluttonous (temporarily) black man intent on eating him alive.

Meanwhile, Connor was doing what you'd expect him to do. "Um, sir. My name is Connor Roy, eldest son of Waystar Royco's founder, proud libertarian. My policies include no jacking off, no eating food people, no turning others black against their will, and no taxes if you are me. Are you interested in my proposed presidential campaign for the land of Goiky?"

The giant sponge that Connor was speaking to couldn't give much of a response other than a simple "Uhhhhhhh?".

Spongy-The Sponge (BFDI)

Nick and Player were both looking at Connor's desperate attempts at a campaign with nothing but scorn.

"Such a sad, strange little man." Nick remarked. "Just pathetic."

Player tried to defend him. "I honestly just feel bad for him. And at least he's not one of those blind Mr. Cheese followers.

"Speaking of Mr. Cheese..." Nick began whispering to Player. "I think it's high time we get him out."

Player was surprised to hear that, and quickly whispered back. "R-Really? You're with me?! B-But how can we?"

"There's only 9 of us. Connor and Ash seem like the type who'd vote for that cunt without too much convincing, and Sonic isn't really a "fan" of him, so, if none of them bail on us, we can safely vote him off."

"Ok, that sounds good. We'll talk to them later I guess."

Sonic then ran to those two with his super speed. "Did somebody say somethin' about voting off Mr. Cheese?"

Both of the two whispered "SSSHH!" at him to not say it out loud, but it was for naught as the cheese-head himself heard that.

"Y-You guys want to...vote me off?" Mr. Cheese said, shedding a (fake) tear. "That awso means, you don't wike Mr. Cheese?!"

"What you didn't already know that?" Player asked.

Homer and Pillow came in, shocked by what they just heard.

"Are you ungrateful of his majestic presence?!" Homer yelled at the three for their plan, so much so they could all feel his saliva all over their body. He then grabbed Player. "REMOVE THE HATER!" He yelled again as he chucked Player out the window.

"And if you don't wanna end up like gamer boy outside, I suggest you don't disrespect our dear leader ever again." Pillow said to them as she left their vicinity.

Nick gulped in response.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: For the record, I don't care about Mr. Cheese that much, but since I'm not a dum dum like Player and the other chimps, I figured pretending to do so is my best possible strategy. When I kill that guy, I'll eat him to see if he really is made of cheese.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Good to see my fans are taking a stand against buwwies wike Pwayer, their guwwible minds doing all the work for me.

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Confessional: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic: Man, I sure regret missing out on all this drama, cuz it sure is juicy!

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Pillow came back to the two cheese haters to tell them shit. "Hey future victims-I mean guys. I met up with the genius Golf Ball, and she told me that curing the ebola is gonna take weeks to cure!"

"Well great, now we're just screwed." Sonic remarked.

Pillow however, wasn't ready to give up. "Relax, I've got an idea!"

Nick did the Dwayne Johnson eyebrow thing. "You do?"

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: I've got no idea!

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Team Pee Pee's random universe selection sent them to a desolated jungle area. That's it. What, did you expect me to wax like a fucking poet about a generic as hell jungle?

Johnny exited the machine first. "Welp, this place looks like it has 100% less Nazis but maybe also 10% more african warlords."

Brody came out as well. "And 100% more-wait, what exactly am I supposed to say?"

"That you're a fucking loser." Johnny bluntly told him. "Let's just get this shit over with."

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Confessional: Brody

Brody: Yo, again, what did I do wrong?!

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Suddenly, Team Pee Pee was approached by two cartoon monkeys. One was a gorilla with a red tie, and the other was a chimp with a red cap.

"DK, who the heck are these people?" The chimp asked the gorilla.

"I don't know Diddy, but since they're not reptiles, I say we welcome them with open arms. Name's Donkey Kong, future ruler of this here Kongo Bongo Island, and he is my pal Diddy Kong, also my nephew, no idea who his dad is by the way." The gorilla now known as DK explained.

"Uh, DK, don't you think tellin' these strangers all this stuff about us is, y'know, kinda not a good idea?"

"Since when has that ever backfired on me?"

"Fair point."

Donkey Kong-The Dumbass (Donkey Kong Country cartoon)

Diddy Kong-The Dumbass's Cousin (Donkey Kong Country cartoon)

The niggas on Team Penis were confused as to how this convo transpired between the two monkeys without any of them even speaking a single word.

"Should we question this or what?" Cabby whispered.

"Of course not! Being nice is more important than anything else, so we should kindly ask these nice people to help us!" Leafy yelled super loud in contrast, causing the two monkeys to hear her quite well.

"Ok." Diddy muttered. "What do you guys need from us?"

"Oh, it's quite simple. All we need is-" Before Cabby could finish, she was rudely interrupted by Plankton.

"We've been turned black against our will and need to find a way back to our caucascian bodies!" He explained in a blunt way.

"That doesn't sound too bad." DK said. "But whatever, we'll use the Crystal Coconut for that, it allows you to do whatever the heck you want."

"DK! You can't just reveal that! What if these guys are evil and stuff?"

"They ain't , so who cares?"

"Agreed."

"Ayo, what the shit?!" Jeffy complained. "People don't talk like that! Is the author trying to rush this shit out like Sonic 06?"

Yeah, but that's beside the point. Now onto Team Bea, Dee Jay, Banban, Nichelle and Boba Fett's segment!

Team Rose arrived in a shitty recording studio.

"Alrighty, since the author is tired of writing this chapter, let us go over there for the sake of plot!" Banban said as he pointed to the right.

"Does anyone know whatever retarded language this nigga's usin'?" Nichelle snarkly asked.

Bea decided to do a little trolling. "The same one you're using right now."

"Why you little-"

"Can you two knock it off? We're in the middle of a challenge, save the bickering for later." Boba Fett said as he pointed his blasters at the two of them.

Then suddenly they are interrupted by a short asian man.

"Oh herro! My name is DJ Not Nice! You may know me from my hit singres such as "Ima Korean", "We're Arr Asian", "Herro", and most especiarry "Ching Chang Chong 1 and 2"!"

Dj Not Nice-The Asian Singer (Rucka Rucka Ali)

Everyone was confused on who was this fucking guy.

"Ok mon, no idea what your deal is." Dee Jay responded. "Can you simply help my teammates to not be black anymore? Not me though, or the blonde black girl, or the barefoot girl, or the freckled girl."

"Oh sure! So rong as you assist me in my evir pran!"

"I don't care at all at this point, what is your evil plan exactly?" Boba Fett nonchalantly asked.

"Oh simpre! Remme terr ya a song 'bout it!"

DJ Not Nice then began playing a song on Spotify.

Bridge]
Oh herro
My Name is DJ Not Nice
I'm here to end the hate and bring peace between
Arr the asian race
I mean Korea and chinese
We're rearry the same
We rook the same right?
We eat with chopstick?

[PART 1]
My Eyes rook rike
I'm mad cause someone store my eggrorr
I'm sad cause my dad
Died fighting for his country's butthore
He tord me
"Son who cares what coror is you skin"
We're arr Asian
Some guy rook rike Asians but they're just mexican
(Oh Ok)
I pray that one day
The whore worrd wirr be oriental
I pray videogames
I finarry beat the 2nd rever
Stand in the center and jump on the boss's head
And now He's dead
(Oh very good, ret's pray again)

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4 My Nuckas

Rucka Rucka Ali

Eff Australia

Rucka Rucka Ali

I'm Osama

Rucka Rucka Ali

[HOOK 1]
The Firipino race
And the chinese can arr be friends
Cause we're arr asians
Fuck whoever's not
When China gets the bomb
The whore world's eyes wirr be sranted rike ours
Cause if you're not asian
Suck my yerrow cock
(Ret's watch some BBC News
Oh, they're tarking about ME, coor)

[PART 2]
The kids in Bournemouth
Made fun of someone cause he's asian
The principar said "DJ Not Nice Is probabry racist"
(Aw thanks, you're probabry gay with AIDS)
You know Confucius say if the shoe fits
(Stear it from payress and give it to your kids
For christmas)
Herro herro come in my store
Thank you, come again
I wourd rike white and brack peopre
If they were asian
So when your teacher shows
My video to your speciar ed class
Prease no one raugh

[HOOK 2]
The Firipino race
(The Firipine is a prace)
Knows much more things than the jews and gays
So if you go on vacation
Don't go near china
(You must stand outside City Warr)
The japanese are fine
(And taiwanese tastes nice)
But Hawaiians are crossing the rine
Cause if they're not asian
They can
Suck my rittle cock
(I wirr Ninja kick you in the nut)

[Bridge]
White peopre suck
(And jews eat chinese food too much)
Brack peopre stear your stuff
(We wirr kirr everyone but us)
Cause if you're not asian
Then you're probabry white or brack
(Or Puerto Rican or Iraqi)

[HOOK 3]
So you see my friends
(I hope you rearned something today)
From the song that I sing and my crear message
(Nucrear hehe)
That if you're not asian
(From Beijing)
Won't be rong tirr you're gone
(So you can suck on my ding dong)
Cause China's buirding a bomb
(With a rittle herp from Kim Jung)
With the money we made from the song
"Ching Chang Chong"
I suggest you get facerift
And take some Kung Fu Fight Ressons
(So we might think they're viet cong)
Yeahh Ninja ..

"Ok, can anyone translate this man's alien language?" Boba Fett asked, confused.

"Sure thing bud!" Banban replied. "He wants to genocide all the non asians."

"Well if that's the case." Dee Jay begins to say. "Bea, use High Jump Kick or whatever that move of yours is called mon."

Bea then does a "HAYAH!" as she kick DJ Not Nice in the nuts. She then says: "Well this was a waste of time."

"Agreed." Banban says. "Let's go kick the shit out of TheQuartering instead, dude is very much a racist shitbag!"

Team Cocoa went to a nearby house because Pillow told them it housed a racist person.

"Trust me guys. Yellow Face hates purple people, why do you guys think he wouldn't say the n word with a hard r? He's even named after the practice of white people playing asians in movie!" Pillow explains to them.

"I don't, like, care. I just wanna like, finish the, like, challenge!" LSP said as she looked at her phone.

"We can tell your highness, we can tell." Nick remarked.

Pillow then knocked on the door. "Yellow Face! It's me, Pillow! Me and my pals want you for something that doesn't involve ads!"

"Ah, okay then." Yellow Face said from behind the door as he opened it. He was a poorly drawn circle with a smiley face.

Yellow Face-The Ad Maker (BFDI)

He looked at the black people in his sight with disgust. "Grrr, disgusting black creatures! Get out of my sight!" He then slammed the door in Pillow's face.

"So yeah, that didn't work." Player said. "We're screwed."

Pillow then had an idea. "Don't be such a downer Player! I've got an idea! According to my own research, if you slay a dragon, any misplaced melanin will disintegrate into nothingness, because one's black skin means fluff all when you killed a freakin dragon!"

"That sounds like some conspiracy shit dad used to tell me when we sat there, bored in his private jet." Connor admitted. "Just with a lot more pedophilia and transsexual stuff, and a bit of racism for good measure, which is sort of ironic now."

Nick agreed with that notion "Yup, sounds exactly like pseudo science from an Anti-Vax Facebook group."

"B-But Mr. Cheese thinks Piwwow is right! Ergo, we do exactwy what she says!" You-know-who said.

"Yeah! I agree!" Homer retardedly said. "Anything Mr. Cheese said is automatically the best way to do it!"

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Confessional: Player

Player: Blind sheep.

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In a barely lit, completely dirty basement a morbidly obese, bearded douchebag was thinking of what to upload next to own the libs.

"Hmmm, which should I go for, a video telling people to vote Trump for the 2024 elections, or a video on how woke this random franchise I don't give a shit about has gotten? Hard to choose."

The Quartering-The Anti Woke Youtuber Who Pissed In His Basement Once

Team Rose's dimensional machine had spawned in his basement and they got out pretty quickly. "What the shit? Did the liberals from the future decided to take over the past as well or what?" He loudly wondered.

He then saw the 10 black people in his room and started clutching his chest. He then let out a massive scream as he fell on the floor and had a massive heart attack and died.

"See? Told ya guys he was the perfect target!" Banban declared. "Now let's get this melanin off me!"

Team Pee Pee were walking with Donkey and Diddy Kong to some place they didn't know.

"So, if you two don't mind me asking, where exactly are we going?" Cabby asked DK.

"Oh that? Simple, we're going to the temple of Inka Dinka Doo! That's where the Crystal Coconut is!"

"Still don't think you should reveal all that DK." Diddy mutters.

"Yo, shut the fuck up asshole!" Jeffy said. "I don't wanna get my butthole raped by police because I was passing by, so stop your dumb fucking yapping and deal with this shit!"

Ignoring all that, Plankton went to Cordelia and Rottytops, and whispered something to them. "Hey girls. If you want to make it far in this game, you need numbers, so I thought, "hey, it sure would be great to have an ally", so, want an alliance?"

"I'll think about it sir." Cordelia said.

Meanwhile, Rottytops was more accepting. "Count me in. Anything to get rid of whoever the heck I want. Cords, you should join in too if you don't wanna miss out on that!"

"Sure. I suppose."

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Great! First allies on my team! Hopefully Boba's makin' sure to collect some of his own at Team Rose, so we can control this game quicker!

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: Is Plankton bad news? Probably. Do I care one bit? Nope! Teeehee!

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: An alliance is always helpful no matter what context. So long as they don't try something dirty, I'll make sure to have their loyalty as much as possible.

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Toby Queef had finally woken up. "Huh? What the blazin' fuck shit is goin' on here? Whatever, Imma go kick some black people ass with mah truck!"

He then started up his engine, yelled "YEEEEEEEEHAW!" and began going 60 KM/H, breaking Team Cocoa's dimensional machine in half by running into it.

At the temple of Inka Dinka Doo, Cabby was observing the Crystal Coconut in her hands, also making sure to clean it using a utensil she had in one of her file cabinets. "So this Crystal Coconut is able to do whatever the one who's holding it pleases, correct?"

"Yup. Pretty much. That's why villainous scoundrels like King K. Rool and Kaptain Skurvy want it so bad. If they get their grubby little hands on it, who knows what sort of untold destruction they could do?" DK explained.

"If that's the case, this item should probably be hidden in a safer spot." Cabby said to him.

"Eh, it really doesn't matter much. Those guys are complete non threats anyway."

"HEY! Who says I am a non threat!" Yelled someone from a distance. "I shall not take such appaling disrespect! Kremlings, ATTACK!"

Out of the temple came in a bunch of humanoid crocodiles aiming their guns at everyone. They were all lead by a fat crocodile wearing a crown.

"Who are these not nice people?" Leafy asked.

"A bunch of Deviantart scally fetish OCs!" Jeffy responded.

"You fools! I'm not whatever strange creatures you accuse me of being! I'm the great King K. Rool! Leader of the Kremlings and Donkey Kong's arch nemesis!"

King K. Rool-Professional Badguy (Donkey Kong Country)

"See DK? I knew there would be trouble!" Diddy jumped up to say this. "You never listen to me!"

"P-Please don't kill us pal! W-We're not here to to ruin your plans!" Gumshoe yelled as he got on his knees and begged.

"Kill you? What kind of sick monster would do such a thing?!" K. Rool replied, horrified by the thought of actually killing someone.

Meanwhile, Jeffy payed no attention, and decided to use the Crystal Coconut.

"Oh Crystal Titty gimme some Deviantart scally fetish OC!"

The Crystal Coconut then showed a picture of King K. Rool.

"INFLATION?!" DK yelled. "You have the power of God at your fingertips, and you chose to watch INFLATION?! What the hell is wrong wth you?!"

"Nah, that was a fucking joke. Crystal Titty, send us to our white cube!"

The Crystal Coconut then teleported the team back to the dimensional machine, confusing the fuck out everyone left.

"Huh, now that I think about it, why don't I just use the Coconut's supreme power to prevent Donkey Kong and his allies from taking it back? Am I stupid?" wondered.

DK also wondered. "Hey! They took the Crystal Coconut!"

Team Cocoa was listening to Pillow's Qanon level of a logical idea, for some reason, and saw a strange creature along the way to the dragon.

"Uh guys, what is that thing?" Player asked his team in confusion. "It looks like...Leafy, but, red, and with some scary pupils."

That creature was exactly as Player described. It didn't move at all, just stared at them with it's big, strangely more realistic pupils than the other characters in the BFDI world.

Evil Leafy-The Evil One (BFDI), also no relation to the actual Leafy

"Eh, it looks like a clone, nothing too scary." Sonic brushed off, prompting everyone to just ignore the creature.

That is, until the creature teleported just slightly further to them. This caused everyone to be silent for a moment, until she teleported again, which got them to run.

Everyone ran off as fast as they could from the creature, with it starting to teleport faster and faster, to the point where running wasn't really doing much.

Until, some shit happened.

"TIME TO DIE NIGGERS!" Yelled Toby Queef as he tried to run over Team Cocoa, who all jumped to the right or left to avoid him, and when he got into contact with the creature, it vored him and his truck whole.

Everyone on Team Cocoa just ran off and pretended nothing happened.

Team Pee Pee had arrived in the universe of the fanfiction Total Drama Infinite 3, which you can read on this very website by the way, at the insistence of Gumshoe.

"You sure this is a good idea Gumshoe?" Cordelia asked him.

"Absolutely. Mr. Edgeworth always knows his stuff!"

"Why can't we just use the Crystal thingy to change races back?" Brody asks.

"Because Jeffy doesn't want us to use it." Johnny responded. "Prick, both him and you."

"Excuse me, what is this entourage supposed to be?" Asked a black haired man in a red suit.

Miles Edgeworth-The Chief Prosecutor (Ace Attorney)

"M-Mr. Edgeworth sir! So nice to see you again pal!" Gumshoe greeted him.

"D-Detective Gumshoe? What's this supposed to be? A netflix reboot?" Edgeworth asked them.

"We're competing on another multiversal Total Drama season and a challenge involves us turning black for some reason and our challenge is to turn white again. Gumshoe here thought you'd have a good solution so we went to this universe. Sounds pretty simple to me." Johnny explained in a crazy amount of detail.

"Ok. Got it. Not the weirdest thing I've heard of surprisingly. I've got a little solution." Edgeworth then points to a big titty scientist lady. "She can help you. Now don't talk to me ever again, please."

Cabby decided to congratulate Gumshoe. "Once again, the detective saves the day! Good job on that."

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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe

Gumshoe: Sweet!

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And finally, Team Cocoa got to the dragon's den.

"So where's the dragon?" Connor asked.

"Look, over there!" Pillow pointed to a large, green dragon with a sprout on it's head. "Wait, that's not the regular dragon!"

The dragon then spit out some flames and the team avoided it, Sonic then simply spin dashed into it, causing the dragon to shrink like Super Mario into someone who Player and Mr. Cheese recognized.

"S-Stoner?" They both said simultaneously.

The one known as Stoner got up on his feet and did a peace sign. He was an amogus crewmate, dark green in color, with a sprout on his head for reasons you should know by now.

Stoner-The Stoner (Among Us Logic)

"Hey guys! That cool dude instructed me to act as a little obstacle for this challenge!" Stoner said.

"And how the hell were you a dragon?!" Nick asked, confused as all hell.

"Oh, I used an among us mod to do that, remember episode 22 Player? The one where your own little sister killed you when you least expected it?"

"Don't remind me of that."

"Also, fun fact: I'm competing in an alternate universe version of this show! There's like 50 others, and I survived the first elimination! Pretty cool right?"

"It sure is Stoner!" Mr. Cheese admitted. "But not as cool as Mr. Cheese, who has made it to a fifth of the way through!"

"Can you have a single conversation with someone that doesn't involve boosting your own ego?" Asked Nick, who got looks from the Cheese head's followers. "N-Never mind that!"

LSP's phone suddenly rang. "Attention Team Cocoa!" Chris's voice was heard. "Both Team Rose and Team Pee Pee have found ways to remove all the extra melanin they had, meaning you guys have lost for the fourth time!"

Naturally, the whole team groaned in frustration.

"Oh, and one more thing. Since apparently, Toby Queef destroyed your machine, and I'm too lazy to get you guys out now, you're basically gonna be stranded on Goiky for a while. So, you've gotta do the elimination yourselves!"

Everyone groaned again. "This is so dumb!" Ash protested.

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Confessional: Nick

Nick: OK, time to put my plan into action.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: Man, I was really hoping the dragon would just slaughter my entire team! But, I suppose that'll never happen.

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It was now night in Goiky, and Team Cocoa had a TV to use so that Chris could see who would be getting eliminated.

TV-The TV (BFDI)

"Alright, who do you wanna vote off?" Asked Gordman. "Both me and the author are tired of this shit, so make it quick."

"Quicker than Sonic in bed!" Swag added, causing Sonic to snicker.

"I vote for Mr. Cheese." Nick plainly said, shocking the man himself.

"Seriouswy Nick? Did ya reawwy think I'd wet ya get away with that?!" Mr. Cheese asked him. "Cheese heads, get him out!"

"Nick." Homer said.

"Nick." LSP said.

"Nick." Pillow said.

"Nick I suppose. I-I mean, I don't want to anger Mr. Cheese any further." Ash reluctantly said.

"Pillo-I mean Nick." Connor said.

"Yup. That's a majority Nick. He's out." Gordman declared with little fanfare. "That was anti climactic."

Nick was shocked and angry, to say the least. "Wha-WHAT?! C-Connor, A-Ash, HOW COULD YOU?! YOU COULD'VE VOTED THAT BLOODY CHEESEHEAD OFF, BUT NO, YOU JUST HAD TO CRACK UNDER THE PRESSURE RIGHT FUCKING NOW! NOW HE IS GOING TO CONTROL THE GAME! ITS FUCKING FIORE ALL OVER AGAIN!". He then starts to regain his composure. "Fine. How you two are proud of yourselves. Don't even bother rescuing me, I'll stay here."

"Wow. Sore fucking loser am I right?" Swag said.

We then cut to Chris in his universe.

"Well that was a rush job. Will Mr. Cheese still control the team? Will Johnny stop being an asshole to Brody for no reason? And will the next episode actually be good this time? Find this out and more on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

Madness!"

We see a scene where Toby Queef unvores himself from Evil Leafy with his van. "FUCK YEAH! BFDIA 5b IS THE WORST FUCKIN' VIDEOGAME EVER!"

Yeah, you can kind of tell I rushed it at the end.

I actually had to cut 3 segments.

-first was a Johnny Test segment with Team Rose. They would've met the Test sisters and then Bing Bing Boy would've attacked and cried like a bitch when Banban calls him adopted. Cut because I couldn't find a way to end it well.

-second was another Team Rose segment based on the tiktok TD AU called Island Of The Slaughtered. Cut for lack of ideas.

-third was a whole ass segment between the Evil Leafy scene and the Dragon scene that was based off the Just Not song segment from BFDI: TPOT 6 which would've made a smoother transition. There would've been a joke about the narrator trying to get the team to shoot themselves and Homer nearly would've done it.

We also had 2 TD crossover cameos. One for Memeking The Third's Infinite 3 and Luckyhill's Total Drama Multiverse, both only at the first elimination.

Would be really cool if someone made a TV Tropes page.

Ciao!

Chapter Text

Now, compared to last episode, this one will feature a more simple challenge. We'll also have a guest judge this episode, one that will probably make you want to smack him straight in the face.

As for review responses:

Luckyhill: Mr. Cheese probably isn't going anytime soon, considering his team practically worships him. Also, I gotta say, your work certainly needs...a lot of improvement, but don't let that deter you man, keep up, and try to one up yourself. That's the spirit!

Enjoy!

"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness!" Chris's voice said as at the Camp Wawanakwa dock.

"The three teams were given some delicious chocolate cakes out of complete nowhere, which were lased with the cum of Verbelase, turning everyone black! They then went on a multiversal hunt for any solution to their ethnic plight! Team Rose came in first, getting some blood from infamous chud youtuber TheQuartering! Team Pee Pee also managed to cure their ebola by ways of a scientist from another fanfiction, curing them of of the infamous disease! Meanwhile, Team Cocoa were stuck in Goiky as a result of Toby Queef splitting their machine in half, there, there were singing narrators, evil leafs, racists and dragons! In the end though, they couldn't find any solution to their problem that wouldn't last weeks to do, and had to do the elimination themselves. Speaking of eliminaton, Nick tried to beat Mr. Cheese by getting the majority votes, but the cheese-head's incredible charisma resulted in his own vote off! Team Cocoa's still there as of this moment, will they be back soon? Find out now on

Total

Drama

Multiversal Madness!"

After the complete clusterfuck of a challenge last time, Team Rose and Team Pee Pee were starting to relax. Oh, and Team Cocoa was still stuck in Goiky of course.

At the Team Pee Pee cabin, Ashley was reading a book called "Spellbook for dummies!" alone, just quietly enjoying herself, until a certain redhead just had to ruin it.

"Hey Ash? How are you doing?" Asked Mona, who went to the witch.

"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary, just, reading a book, like I always do."

Mona was playing with her hair as she got closer to her friend. "N-No, not that. I was thinking that you've been more quiet than usual. Like, I know you're an introverted gal and all, but you've almost never spoken to anyone for days! It's kind of worrying."

Ashley let out a deep sigh. "Ah, that? I'm just trying to play the game by simply not involving myself with all the drama on my team. That's a viable strategy, right?"

"Yeah, highly doubt that. You're probably just using it as an excuse to be lazy. I suggest we try to be more of an asset to our team, that way, if we lose, we won't get targeted for being liabilities!"

"...You sure about that?"

"Absolutely! I'd be a total bummer if you spent all your team here like at home!"

"...Fine, but if it backfires, don't be afraid to hear "I told you so." several times."

"Good on that girl!"

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Confessional: Mona

Mona: Ok, now that Ashley's on my side, we'll totally run this game! Ooh, I can just see the reactions everyone will have seeing us both in the top 10 together! The looks on their faces will be precious!

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: Wario, why did you allow us here? Don't you realize losing even 2 employees temporarily would be catastrophical for your game company? If you're gonna be greedy, at least be smart about it.

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In the middle of the woods, Cordelia and Rottytops had both arrived to meet their new ally. The former had arrived earlier than expected and was in a soldier's typical position, whilst the latter was a bit late, playing around with her head like a ball.

"So, how's it goin' boss? Any orders?" Rottytops asked Plankton, who was patiently waiting for her this whole time.

"Took ya long enough! Next time you slack off like that, don't expect me to treat you nicely!"

"Yeah, whatever you say." She said as she whistled.

"Alright, today's our first alliance meeting. Do you understand?!"

Both of the women nodded. "Great. Now, the first thing every alliance must think of is our target. Any ideas?"

"Jeffy." They both said in unison.

"There's something incredibly wrong with that kid!" Cordelia explained. "I'm not comfortable being near him at all!"

"Same here, wanna smash him into teeny tiny bits!"

"Yeah...NO!" Plankton said. "Instead of getting rid of obvious shields, I suggest we try to get rid of bigger threats. Case in point: Johnny!"

"Why him?" Cordelia asked. "He's a jerk I know, but he is useful to our team."

"Oh you sweet naive woman, that's exactly why we should get him out! Someone like him has the strength to make it really far, but he's also pretty aggressive, so we can use that flaw to get him out as quick as we can!"

"That sounds manipulative and logical, just how I like it!" Rottytops remarked.

"I suppose we should then, but, can you promise we'll get rid of Jeffy later?"

"Sure, he'll be even easier to get rid of!"

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Now, I haven't told those two of my alliance with the two losers on Team Rose, because they might get at me for "betraying" the team or whatever these naive goody two shoes claim! So I'll hide that till the merge.

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: Look, I know I'm supposed to be a "good guy" and all, but bein' a bad guy is so much more fun than being a hero all the time! Hope Shantae doesn't get offended by this though, n-not because I like her or anything, but because she cries way too loudly!

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: Plankton and Rottytops are giving me some bad vibes, but I do genuinely believe this alliance is the best thing to do for my game, so it is what it is.

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In the middle of the woods, Nichelle was seen training using a punching bag, which she imagined in her head as Bea.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: Imagining myself beating the heck outta my mortal enemy does ease me up a little. The only cool thing about that dumb girl is her abs, I wish I could have that muscle! A-And it's not because they're attractive or anything, because I don't s-swing that way, but because that's one of the only things I want that I don't have!

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As Nichelle kept punching the bag harder and harder, she was approached by Dee Jay.

"Hey there mon!"

"Uh, what do you want Dee Jay?" She asked, rather annoyed. "Can't you see I'm busy right about now? And don't tell me it's about Bea!"

"Oh, well you see mon, I wasn't actually...I-I wanted t-to talk about...Yes, it's about Bea."

"Alright then, tell her make sure to not get diabetes from all the chocolate she eats!"

Dee Jay actually clenched his fists a little, not taking her trash talk lightly. "Don't talk to my friend like that! What did she ever do to you anyway? You've went out of your way to demean her day 1!"

Nichelle laughed a bit. "Isn't it obvious? Ever since my first elimination on this stupid show, I've been a complete laughingstock! Season 1 had me mentally break down in front of millions, and all the support I got was my parents taking all my money away and then getting blacklisted by Hollywood for the crime of crying on TV! Then, for season 2, I got a bunch of personal trainers to help me become the actual badass movies portrayed me, then I got tricked like a moron by some fake contract and now everyone completely ignored all my other genuine acomplishments! And now, I've managed to actually surpass both my prior performances, but It'll probably be ignored again because your dumb bitch friend takes away all the spotlight! THERE! YOU GOT THE ANSWER! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

Dee Jay didn't know what to say. He slowly backed off from her as she didn't even notice he was gone.

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Wow, that was uh, something mon. I used to think she was just an arrogant show off who needed to be put in her place but now, now I feel bad for her. Maybe tell Bea? Can't decide mon.

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Sanders was doing some push ups to prepare for the future challenges. "97...98...99...100!" As she finished her routine, she decided to head out into the woods for breakfast when she was Banban trying to cling on to Boba Fett, who promptly shoved the demon off of his back.

"For the last time Banban, I'm not giving you a piggyback ride in the air! It could easily hurt you."

"B-But Bob! I'd be so cool to do that bestie! My Indie Horror friends are gonna love a selfie like that!"

"Once again, I have little clue as to what you are saying, and honestly, I prefer it to be that way."

Sanders went up to them. "Hey guys. I see Banban's a pain in the ass again?"

"Jokes on you! I don't have one! If I did, my Mascot Horror game wouldn't be allowed to be played by kids!"

"But I don't think horror is meant for kids?"

"Courage The Cowardly Dog? The Grim Tales Of Billy And Mandy? Coraline? You probably just hate autistic people!"

"Fair point."

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: Despite neither of them seeming to get along, Boba Fett and Banban have been pretty buddy buddy for quite a while. That just smells alliance all over it.

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Team Cocoa were watching as Pillow was playing some strange variation of chess with a slice of chocolate cake.

Cake-The Gay Kid (BFDI)

"Man this is so boring!" Sonic complained whilst loudly snoring. "What are they even playing anyway? Pretty sure that's not how you play chess!"

The cake decided to explain that. "Oh, this little game? It's Yoyle Chess, it's...um...Pillow, what are the rules again?"

"Not knowing the rules of Yoyle Chess is by itself against the rules of Yoyle Chess! Therefore, I win!"

Pillow then shoved the game board right in the cake's face. "Aw man."

"Could we at least, like, play some games, like, as well? Oh, maybe there's like something similar to, like, Card Wars in Goiky?" LSP said.

"That is the most generic name for a card game I've ever heard." Player remarked.

"It would be way coower if it was cawwed Cheese Wars!" Mr. Cheese said, which got him cheers from Homer.

"For once, I agree with Mr. Cheese." Player admitted.

And then, right in front of the whole team, a dimensional machine spawned, with Chris and the guards coming out of it quickly.

And just as quickly, everyone cheered. "Look who's back! I'd feel pretty good right now if Amy wasn't waiting on the other side!"

Swag tried to put his hand on Sonic's you-know-what, but the hedgehog evaded it and spin dashed into him. "Oh no! Just because I'm not interested in that lovestruck pinkie doesn't mean I'm into men!"

Gordman shed a tear. "Damn, my Sonadow Wattpad fanfiction is not canon compliant anymore!"

Chris completely ignored this and just told them the basics. "Alrighty guys, it's challenge time. Go in the machine and don't bitch about the whole "leaving you stranded for a whole week" thing. Consider that a vacation."

"Hey, are we bringing in Nick with us to send him to the TLC?" Ash asked.

"First off, it's the TLC of Shame, better remember that next time! Second, I don't give a flying FUCK about Nick or his show! My spic of a daughter actually treats her interns with a teeny tiny bit of humanity, and that's woke as all hell! The whole show's woke as well! It feels like big fuckin' rainbows pop out the damn sky whenever those fags even talk to each other! My homosexuals are nice enough not to kiss more than once and have one get out early merge! FUCK this gay agenda!"

Everyone was just...silent.

"Uh, Mr. Cheese feels attacked right now!"

Homer hugs Mr. Cheese in a gay way.

"All right, let's just go back to Wawanakwa. This is getting too gay for my taste." Chris declared as he pointed to the dimensional machine to get Team Cocoa in, before seeing a strange machine called "Recovery Center". "Hey, what the hell does that mean?"

"That's a Recovery Center. We at Goiky use it to revive ourselves after we die." Pillow explained.

"Hmmm? Let me try something." Chris said as he typed "Mae" in the Recovery Center, which did nothing. "Well that didn't work."

"You dum dum! You can't recover someone if they died in a different universe!"

"How do you know that?"

"I learned just now!"

"Whatever. Lemme try something else." Chris then inputted "Duncan" and it actually worked. Duncan came out of it and was confused. "Woah, where am I?"

Duncan-The Guy Who Blew Up Chris's Cottage (This Fucking Show)

"Here's the deal: You've been dead for over a decade due to Owen's far balloons popping when you got out the stratosphere, with you dying by either suffocation or drowning."

"That's weird. How's Courtney doing?"

"She's also dead, and I could easily bring her back in literal seconds!"

"Sweet!"

"One more thing: You haven't served you jail sentence, so boys! Take him away!"

The guards then forcefully grabbed Duncan. "Hey! The hell man! I was dead for a long ass time, and I still have to serve that prison sentence?!"

"Yup. And just a friendly bit of advice: never be in the same room as prisoner 445, unless you wanna get butt raped! Believe me, I know that from first hand experience!"

"No! NOOOOOOOOO!" Duncan yelled as the two guards sent him back to prison.

The other two teams were left at the challenge site, waiting for Chris to show up with Team Cocoa.

"What's taking them so long? I gotta know Sonic's safe!" Amy said.

Cream tried to reassure her. "Sonic must be fine Amy. He's way too strong to be in any serious danger!"

"Hey, has anyone noticed Toby Queef's gone?" Banban asked.

"I didn't, and honestly, I don't want him back." Sanders responded.

"But that dude was hilarious!"

"But he wasn't nice!" Leafy complained. "And not being nice is deserving of the death penalty, and by the way, stealing an island from your "friend" after he got you killed on his ferris wheel and then didn't allow you there on his island because he got mad you complained about it IS a nice thing to do!"

"Oh shit, thanks second pair of green tits! I might just do that in the future!" Jeffy said to Leafy, which got her mad.

"Mean character."

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy was slapping his diaper.

Jeffy: Did you guys know I had a youtube channel called Freesmart? I made super good TTS vids of cool shit like "BFDI but girls", and for some reason I got cancelled because I said Pillow is sexy AF. Fuckin' projection! Look that up on wikitubia!

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Finally, the dimensional machine spawned right in everyone's faces, and all the cocoas were kicked out one by one.

"Hey! Don't touch my butt! That's where you get AIDS!" Connor complained as Swag hit his ass out the machine.

Naturally, Amy grabbed Sonic as quickly as she could. "Oh my dear Sonic! I hope you're alright sweetie!"

Sonic wasn't very pleased. "Amy, do you not have anything better to do right now? Don't you like playing with tarot cards or something?"

"NERD!" Homer yells.

"Yeah bro, tarrot cards are so cringe!" Mr. Cheese says.

Chris used his megaphone. "EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! And Amy, do something other than simp for once! Anyways, today's challenge involves food."

Homer and Brody both jumped in the air and said "WOOOO! FOOOD!" at the same time.

Johnny decided to use this opportunity to make fun of Brody. "If you love food so much, why don't you look fatter than a neckbeard?"

Mona defended Brody. "Um, Johnny, can you be a little nicer? Brody hasn't done anything to you."

Chris took out his megaphone again. "THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY SUPER FUCKING LONG! DON'T PAD IT OUT WITH SHITTY CHARACTERS! Anyway, this is a cooking competition, so if you, for some reason, voted off all the girls on your team, you would've been screwed."

"That's a very misogynistic thing to say Chris." Sanders complained.

"Watch Disventure Camp if you want a retarded wholesome uwu show. This challenge will have a guest host. He's a famous Singaporean food critic blogger, infamous for his extremely scathing and vitriolic reviews, even directly causing the suicide of a restaurant owner, so make sure not to fuck with him. Everyone meet Wen Ts'ai!"

Wen Ts'ai came out of the kitchen, looking quite angry. He was an asian guy with a moustache and a black suit. About as black as someone can be without being black.

Wen Ts'ai-The Food Critic (Hitman)

"That was one of the worst kitchens I've ever seen!" Ts'ai complained. "What kind of respected reality show would have such garish work environment."

"Dude is just straight up spitting facts, what's wrong with that?" Banban asks.

"And that's not even the worst part. These chefs all look like some ai generated rubbish you'd see online! Their mear presence is already making me sick to my stomach! The chances of them getting a score higher than a 5 is near zero!"

"Ok, I get it. Fuck this guy." Banban declared. "You guys agree right?"

Everyone nods yes.

"Of course, you barbaric abominations can't handle the slightest of criticism. How utterly pathetic."

Naturally, everyone was angry at him, with Bea in particular being ready to punch him to smithereens, only being stopped by Dee Jay grabbing her. "OH YOU JACKASS!"

"Ah, it's quite sad no one can simply recognize their own problems nowadays, it's all sunshine and rainbows until your flaws are pointed out, and you'll lash out like a wild animal."

Pillow then points a gun at him. "You were saying?"

"As much as I love seeing so much drama, we're on a time limit to finish this, so you assholes go in the kitchen to cook a bunch of food for this guy!"

"Ok, but where is Toby Queef?" Banban asked.

Right as he asked that, Toby Queef's van materialized in front of everyone.

"Wassup little faggots? Did ya miss me?" Toby Queef asked everyone. "And good to know there's less black people now!"

"First off, how are you alive? You got vored. Second, how did you travel back here?" Player asked.

"Oh simple enough. I simply drove really fuckin' far, and then I drove in circles till I opened a hole in space time continuum!" Toby Queef explained.

"Makes more sense than anything the far right folks at ATN say." Connor said.

Chris took out his trusty megaphone. "CHALLENGE STARTS NOW!"

Ts'ai was frustrated. "Do you not value the ears of your customers?"

"What did I say about only verbally abusing the contestants? Well fuck it, START THE CHALLENGE DAMN IT!"

Banban decided to start the challenge with a bright idea. "Alright guys, me and Boba Fett are gonna cook some good shit in Toby's van, got that?"

"Can I come in? I might be of help with whatever you're cooking." Sanders asked him.

"What no? You're female! No femoids allowed in Mr. Queef's van!"

"Note that I don't agree with everything Banban says." Boba Fett clarified. "So, if he says something dumb, just know I'm groaning in frustration the same as you."

"Ok, let's go bestie!" Banban said as he grabbed Boba Fett and went to Toby Queef's van. "Queef, can you order some chemistry equipment?"

"Since you're white adjacent, I guess so!" Toby Queef responded as he called Amazon.

Meanwhile, at Team Pee Pee, Mona decided to take the challenge by herself.

"So guys, I'm a decent enough cook, I can totally make some food with a little help. Anyone wanna help me?"

Cabby raised her hand. "I've got quite a few cooking recipes in somewhere that is totally not in my files, and with that, we'll have this challenge in the bag!"

"And I can cook some instant noodles pal!" Gumshoe claimed. "That's the only thing I've eaten in years!"

Cabby decided to stop him from going. "Hush now Gumshoe, after all the contributions to the team, I think you deserve a fair rest."

Mona then went to Ashley. "And what about you Ash? You're pretty knowledgeable about mixing stuff since you're a witch and all, that would be pretty helpful!"

"That's, um...a big assumption to make." She responded.

"Come on! Don't be shy, let's go win the challenge!" Mona then grabs Ashley by the ponytail to the kitchen.

"I'm not shy...I just...hate people." She remarks as she was getting dragged, standing perfectly still as well.

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: Someone, save me from this hell. This is the least monotone I can be.

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And finally there was Team Cocoa.

"Does anyone have literally any plan?" Player asked, which caused Homer to raise his hand. "Homer isn't an "anyone", by the way."

"I have one! Wet's just make multipwe cheese meals!" Mr. Cheese said. "I got my own restaurant cawwed the Cheese Louise, so I'm probably the most fit to cook stuff!"

"That's a great idea Mr. Cheese." Connor admitted. "But I've got a better one: Why don't we got back to Goiky for a little bit, and then feed the food characters to Mister Ts'ai? I saw some sentient chocolate cake, sentient pie, sentient fries, all up and ready to go!"

Everyone looked at Connor. "What? What did I do wrong?"

"Not like, a big fan of, like, eating food people. There's a frickin Candy Kingdom back in Ooo and the princess there is like, besties with me! I don't wanna lose like my 4th favorite bestie!" LSP explained.

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor: Well there goes my chances of ever becoming president of Goiky or Ooo.

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"Maybe we should do something about Homer?" Ash asked. "He might eat our food."

"What, me? What do y'all have against me?!"

"You're lazy, you're Mr. Cheese's most blind defender, you singlehandedly lost us 2 challenges." Player explained.

"B-But I work at a nuclear power plant!"

The Cocoa's look at each other in the eye for a second.

We then cut to Homer, tied up on a random tree as he struggled trying to get out.

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Confessional: Player

Player: Thank God he's not into that.

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Out of the air came an Amazon package strapped to a balloon. Boba Fett shot it with his blaster to open it, and found a bunch of chemistry equipment.

"So what exactly are we supposed to do with this?" Boba Fett asked Banban.

"Oh simple! I-I just bought the needed ingredients!" He then shows a bag of suspicious white powder. "Swag let me borrow some of his!"

"Oh I know exactly how this is goin'." Toby Queef said. "Hopefully the chinaman ain't a pussy."

"Bobby!" Banban said in a deep voice. "We need to cook!"

"Ok."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: I've got a bad feeling about this.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: My name is Banban B. Banbanson. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Canada, Quebec, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my partner in crime for many years, Jumbo Josh. Josh has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 21th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Josh was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a ligma diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Josh took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Josh had a partner, a businessman named Stinger Flynn. Josh sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Flynn threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Josh and Flynn had a falling-out. Things escalated. Flynn was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Josh, and failed, but Josh was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Josh was hell bent on revenge. Working with a woman named Opila Bird, he plotted to kill Flynn. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Josh had risen to become the head of the Quebec DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Banban points to the bruise on his face left by Jumbo Josh in "Garten of Banban 15."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Josh will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: Hope that fag can gimme some o' that meth fo me. And no, you dumb fuckin' hippies, I don't share.

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At Team Rose's side of the kitchen, Dee Jay was happily singing and dancing as he was preparing some bacon pancakes.

"Bacon pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes,
Take some bacon and I'll put it in a pancake,
Bacon pancakes, that's what it's gonna make,
Bacon pancaaake!"

Shortly after that, Bea sneaked in, to see what he was making. She took one look at the pancakes and could hardly hide her growing apatite.

Her stomach growled, revealing her location to Dee Jay. "Oh Bea, hi! What are you doing here mon? I said I would cook by myself."

"...It's uh, n-nothing. I-I was just c-coming here to c-check on you, that's all."

"Really? Yeah, no. You're just coming here to take a look at my pancakes, don't you mon? Don't worry, I can save some for you if you want!"

"N-No. I-I d-don't!" Bea angrily denied. "I-I've got better t-things to do BYE!" She then ran off quickly.

"Weird."

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: I, can't, really seem to keep my e-emotions in check, for the past few weeks. Maybe it's because of Nichelle, maybe I haven't been used to interacting with so many people on a regular basis, who knows?

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Whilst Wen Ts'ai was waiting for his meals, he felt like being a whiny bitch at the moment. "When are those imbeciles going to show up? This waiting time is revolting! No halfway decent business takes so long!"

"First off, we aren't a fucking restaurant. Second, these guys aren't professional chefs, your expectations are impossibly high!" Gordman said.

"And as for you, this is highly unprofessional! Don't you know the saying "the customer is always right."? You should be grateful to even have people like me on your show! Don't expect a good review with this attitude of yours!"

Gordman pointed his gun at him. "Listen here asshole: You're a d-list level food critic, not Gordon Ramsey! You're not here to review the whole fucking locale, you just eat the food! And stop bitching and whining at literally everything!"

"I wouldn't be so confident if I were you. Right now, I could call my lawyers to ruin your life for this threat on my life!"

Gordman reluctantly lowered his gun. "Asshole."

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Confessional: Wen Ts'ai

Ts'ai: UGH! A camera here? Does this washed up has been of a host not value the privacy of his guests?! Baffling at best, predatory behavior at worst!

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At Team Pee Pee, Ashley was mixing some flour for a cake Mona was making. "Mona really wants me to step in her shoes, huh?"

"I don't know about that." Cordelia responded as she was sweeping the kitchen. "Doubt your little legs could fit insider her boots."

"I really should've have brought a book with me to learn what metaphors people knew in medieval times."

"You don't really need a book, I've probably got a file for that." Cabby remarked as she was preparing some green beans.

"Please, stop with the talking, or else I might get an aneurysm from all that social interaction." Ashley sarcastically (or not?) said.

"I wish Sumia was here. Her pies would've surely warmed Ts'ai's cold, cold heart." Cordelia noted.

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: It always feels like I'm forgetting something.

She thinks for a second or two.

Cordelia: Now that I think about it, it's probably just my pegasus, I haven't been seperated from her since I joined the Pegasus Knights many years ago. I miss her.

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Mr. Cheese was cooking his classic Cheese Louise meal: a big cheese sandwich with some bacon bread. Connor walked into the room.

"Didn't think you'd be such a good cook Mr. Cheese. I might just make you my personal chef when I win this year's elections."

"Thanks Connor, but I'm already well off. Pwus, TheGentleman might not wanna weave our home, we're pretty happy there."

"Alright then. Can you at least tell me where you were when Jeffery Epstein died?"

Mr. Cheese stopped cooking for a moment out of shock. "W-Why?" Whilst this was happening, Pillow put some powder on the cheese sandwich which read "kill people powder."

"You probably wouldn't wanna know why, just tell me."

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Since my fans outnumber the haters, I think we should win a chawwenge for once! And if we wose, I'll probabwy keep Pwayer around a wittle bit longer so I can rub my success in his face some more.

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In Toby Queef's van, Boba Fett was unknowingly making some fine sugar. And by sugar I mean the type that is very addictive and can make your teeth fall off. I could describe how that went, but lemme do something better: Look up "Breaking Bad Cooking Scenes" and just imagine the bald white guy is Boba Fett. Bam, no need for prose at all!

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Confessional: Swagmaster6969696969

Swag was taking a shit.

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By now, the girls were done with their food. Ashley and Mona helped bake a somewhat crude looking chocolate cake, meanwhile Cabby and Cordelia made healthy green beans.

"Guys, we're done! With all the passion and soul we've put in our food, there's no way we aren't gonna win!" Mona exclaimed as she brought the food out.

"Dude, this looks super delicious! You're the best!" Brody yelled out, causing Mona to blush.

"T-Thanks and all. Though I'll give credit to the other 3 cooks as well, couldn't have done it without them!"

"Yeah probably could've." Ashley denied.

The only member who wasn't pleased was Jeffy, who was shacking in what seemed to be a fit of rage at the green beans.

"I! HATE! GREEN BEANS!" He yelled as he threw the green beans onto the floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Johnny yelled in return. "ARE YOU RETARDED?! WE'RE GONNA LOSE NOW!"

Even Cabby was mad at him. "Y-You what?! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?! Y-YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!"

Leafy then tried to calm her down. "Relax Cabs, you shouldn't be mean to someone regardless of their behavior!"

"But you do that all the time?"

"I didn't hear you!"

"IF YOU FUCKERS THINK YOU CAN JUST MAKE FUCKIN' GREEN BEANS BEHIND MY BACK, WELL FUCK YOU THEN!" Jeffy roared before Johnny punched him in the sack, knocking him out. "What? You would've done the same thing!"

Plankton on the other hand, immediately thought of a plan. "Hey Rotty." He whispered to his ally. "Go grab somethin' from the other team, wouldn't ya?"

Rottytops noted and detached her arm and went to the other kitchens.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Confucious Say: in chaos there is opportunity! Or was that Socrates?

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Toby Queef, Banban and Boba Fett arrived to their team and went to Dee Jay with the "sugar" that they cooked.

"Sup guys, we made some real good stuff in the van!" Banban said.

"Good to know mon, but what did you do anyways?"

Boba Fett then showed it to him in a small, transparent bag. "It's this thing. Banban calls it "sugar" or something."

Dee Jay took one look at it and immediately realized what was up. "And this is just crystal meth right? Pretty sure it's illegal to manufacture it."

Boba Fett was shocked. "What? Banban, you didn't tell me that!"

"How did you know?" Banban bluntly asked.

"It's because he's a ni-" Toby Queef tried to say as he was cut off by Banban.

"Woah there! The creator already put a content warning for that last chapter, twice is just overkill! And I don't wanna have a screeching mob report us because we didn't add that!"

"Dudily fuckin' noted."

"So are we just using this or what?" Boba Fett asked.

"Normally I'd say no mon, but since I'm bored right now, might as well."

Banban jumped in the air and yelled "YAY!".

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: Note to self, make s'more drugs for money.

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Note to self, never listen to Banban's ideas again.

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Rottytops's arm had arrived in the Team Cocoa kitchen. It staggered a bit trying to find food, but eventually touched Mr. Cheese meal, and quickly grabbed it.

Pillow saw that transpire, and rather than tell her teammates, decided to do a little trolling.

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops held the sandwich in her hand.

Rottytops: Mmmm! This looks delish! I mighta just take a bite outta it, but the reviewer guy might complain about that, so yeah, no.

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Pillow went up to Donald and grabbed him. He tried to struggle out of her hands, but it didn't work at all. Pillow then took him all the way to the kitchen. She then put him in the oven as Donald banged inside to be spared, but she had no mercy at all so she set the timer and heat and just waited patiently. When she was done, Donald was now a juicy turkey (ignore that he is/was a duck) ready to be served to Wen Ts'ai.

The intercom played. "Time's up losers! Bring in the food now so Mr. Ts'ai can maybe stop bitching every 5 minutes!"

The teams arrived at the challenge site.

"That was an awfully long time." Ts'ai noted. "So don't expect me to go easy on your dishes."

"We get it bro, can we just move on from now?" Swag said. "Fuck this shit I'm out, gonna go play Fortnite Chapter 5 season 2!"

"Anyways." Chris said. "There's multiple dishes at play, so we'll mix the order up a little. First is Team Cocoa, who only have 1 dish!"

Pillow brought out the turkey she made, which confused her teammates.

"Wait, didn't Mr. Cheese make a cheese sandwich?" Ash asked.

Ts'ai didn't even take a bite and he was already not very pleased. "This looks like it was made literally minutes before being served, disgusting! How am I supposed to eat this unfinished disaster?! 3/10!"

"You literally didn't even bother tasting it, which is, you know, your job." Player remarked. "This is gonna be a disaster."

"Up next is Team Pee Pee's first meal!" Chris said.

Mona was the one to bring it to him, with her being pretty cheery the whole time. "Hey mister, it's totally been an honor making this from you, and even if I screw up, I just hope you can understand how much it means for me to get a good score."

Ts'ai took one look and entered a fit or rage. "This?! Are you insane? Look at this abomination!" He then pointed towards a slightly deformed part of the cake no one would notice at first glance. "WHAT IS THIS INSULT TOWARDS THE CULINARY ART?! YOU WOMAN HAVE DISGRACED THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH YOUR HORRIFIC STUNT! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

Ts'ai's rant began to sadden Mona. "I, I-I..." She then finally burst into tears and ran off, her sniffing sound being heard by everyone around, who were mostly disgusted by what Ts'ai said to poor Mona.

"W-What is wrong with you?!" Cabby asked in anger.

"YEAH! That's not nice!" Leafy added. "You're like, so mean! Not as mean as Jeffy, but still pretty mean!"

"You literally just brought a teenage or young adult girl to tears. You are heartless." Johnny bluntly said.

Ashley looked away, but still let out a little "Fuck off." with her lips.

"Ok, that was something. Team Rose is next, good luck." Gordman declared.

"They better be careful if they don't want to ruin my day any more than that whiny brat did." Ts'ai mouthed.

Dee Jay was actually a bit scared to show off his food. "A-Alright, m-mon. This is some bacon pancakes, how do they look?"

Ts'ai was naturally mad. "They look horrible! What kind of cook-"

Before he could continue verbal abuse, Bea had enough and punched him in the face. "YOU BASTARD! I COULD BARELY TOLERATE WHAT YOU'VE SAID BEFORE, BUT NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN DEMEAN MY FRIEND LIKE THAT AND PAY NO CONSEQUENCES?!"

Ts'ai, despite just being punched, didn't back off at all. "And who do you think you are? You chimps are just as aggressive as they say on the news!"

"WELL HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A REBUTTAL?! YOU'RE NOT A CRITIC, YOU'RE A HORRIBLE BULLY! YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TASTING THE FOOD, YOU JUST COME IN TO INSULT EVERYONE HERE AND ACT AS IF YOU'RE SOME ART EXPERT! WELL I HAD IT! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! FUCK RIGHT OFF!"

After the sheer rage she just released, Bea started to calm down. "L-Let this be a lesson to you, asshole." She said as she returned to her seat, everyone shocked at what just happened.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: That...was...AWESOME! That guy just got totally owned for being so awful! Wait, that was Bea calling him out.

She then did a fake laugh.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Phew! Maybe I should just let out my emotions some more.

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Ts'ai, of course, didn't learn anything at all. "That chimp can say whatever she want, but in the end, this won't change a thing. 0/10!"

"Whatever, that was worth it Bea! You really showed him who's boss!" Amy congratulated Bea, who simply quietly smirked in the background.

"Well that was even more fun." Chris remarked. "As for the penultimate dish, we'll just settle for Team Pee Pee's cheese sandwich!"

Mr. Cheese heard that and was immediately mad. "What? You guys stole my work and cwaimed it as your own?! How dare you! Mr. Cheese is SUPER mad now!"

"Yeah! You don't get to, like, steal from like Mr. Cheese and get away with it!" LSP told Team Pee Pee.

Plankton came up with another plan. "Uh, he took it!" He then pointed towards Johnny. "He was the one to steal it! I saw him do it and he threatened to squash me if I refused!"

The team looked angry. "Johnny, seriously? I'm seriously disappointed in you!" Cordelia said.

"Yeah man, thought you were my best bud!" Brody confessed.

"I'm not your friend kid, and I didn't steal shit! Plankton's just lying out of his ass!"

Boba Fett then had a plan of his own. "Actually, I did see Johnny head to Team Rose's kitchen earlier. Didn't think much of it at the time, but now, it's pretty clear as to what his intentions were."

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Yup. I certainly made a good decision to partner up with him! No one's suspectin' us in the slightest!

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"As much as I love the drama on this team." Chris said. "I want Mr. Ts'ai as soon as possible, so just feed him the sandwich and then argue please."

Gumshoe then went on to Mr. Ts'ai and gave him the sandwich.

"Very unfitting outfit for a server." He remarked as Gumshoe scowled.

"Fine pal, insult me all you want, but at least taste the meal we made for you!"

"I suppose I will, this looks halfway not revolting."

He took a little bite out of it.

"This is the-" Suddenly, Wen Ts'ai started to have trouble breathing, and then, he simply dropped dead on the floor, to everyone's confusion.

"I guess Mr. Ts'ai is dead." Chris declared, which caused the whole cast to celebrate.

"Take that, dead loser!" LSP said.

"The one person Death Pact A.G.A.I.N wouldn't try to save from death!" Pillow added.

"Usually I'll try to find out who did this, but this guy was such a douche I'll just let the killer off the hook for this!" Gumshoe remarked.

Chris decided to announce the results. "Team Cocoa actually got a score, so they win by default for once. And Team Pee Pee, due to poisoning our guest, you guys are...IMMUNE! Fuck that guy! Team Rose, you got a single 0/10, so you guys lose!"

Everyone on the team looked disappointed except Bea, who was smilling.

"But Donald died, so you don't have to vote someone off!"

"Who's Donald?" Amy asked.

"Ok, this was a crazy episode! Will Bea and Nichelle's rivalry finally end? Will Johnny still be hated by his team? And will more fodder characters get out? Find out next time on...

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Man, this episode was REALLY quick to write. And a fun one as well. The only regret I had was forgetting to include a scene with an infamous Youtuber, but don't worry, that'll have to wait for next episode!

Be sure to leave a review and stuff.

Next episode is a truth and lies challenge.

Oh, and one of you guys could make a TV Tropes page or something.

Ciao!

Chapter Text

And we're back with another episode!

Review responses:

Luckyhill: Pillow dying wouldn't matter. She's already canonically died several times and didn't stay dead.

G-Man 2.0: And I suppose TheQuartering and Wen Ts'ai are in hell. Hopefully Charlie doesn't try to redeem them.

Pinecoop: You can't lecture me on "problematic content" when you include characters from Helluva Boss, GTA etc. in your fanfictions.

It was late at night, a little over an hour after the challenge had ended. Gordman and Swag were dumping the body of Wen Ts'ai into the garbage.

"Wow Chris, what an asshole! I hope the person who killed him gets a nobel prize!" Swag said as he lowered the body bag into the dumpster, causing a few bones to crack as well.

"For once you are right on something. He's like one of those video essayists on youtube who hate on everything that isn't fine art. They can go suck double dicks! Can't enjoy something without some dipshit telling me it's objectively bad anymore!"

"Yeah. Rest In Piss loser!"

Mona had come back from the bathroom after a long crying session. She walked up to the cabin, still sad but at least she could control her emotions.

When she was about to enter it, she heard a familiar voice from behind. "Hey Mona."

Mona screamed in surprise, but calmed once she realized who it was. "Oh, h-hey Ashley, d-didn't see you there. I-I'm ok, relatively speaking, of course!" She said with a fake laugh.

"...I see you're still tensed up from earlier, I wouldn't blame you though, that guy was a nasty piece of work."

"Y-Yeah! I know right? That man had no business attacking ME over the smallest of mistakes!"

"At least now he won't bother you, that's a relief for everyone."

"Hey, before I go to sleep, I gotta ask you something. Is it just me, or are you a bit more...caring than usual?"

"What? No. I was just...nearby, that's all."

Mona didn't think that was the case, but she was too tired by this point to say anything as she went to bed.

"Phew, glad she's gone now." Ashley whispered as soon as Mona left.

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: I don't...I don't want Mona to t-think of me as a friend, or really anyone for that matter. I'm just Ashley and nothing else.

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It was now morning, and the members of Team Rose (mainly Sanders, Dee Jay, Cream, Amy and Banban) were relaxing in their cabins as usual when some random dude knocked on the door.

"Open up, I need me some creamy pussy!" The man said as he knocked harder and harder on the door.

"Um, wait, who is this mon?" Dee Jay asked, confused. "I don't recognize that voice."

"Sure this is safe to open?" Sanders asked.

Banban however, didn't think at all and opened the door.

Out of it came a morbidly obese bald black man who was barely able to squeeze though the door. "Time to see my kitten!"

Banban was shocked. "Oh shit! That's EDP445!"

EDP445-The Cupcake Eater (Youtuber)

"That's the guy? I've actually interacted with him before on discord. He seemed pretty pushy." Cream explained, terrifying Banban.

"That's real bad! Dude is a pedo who likes little kids sucking him!"

Everyone was shocked by that. "Y-You didn't tell me that Cream!" Amy yelled worryingly as she took out her hammer. "You'll pay for this!"

"What, no! I-I was actually here to pick up a cupcake, a-and go home!" EDP lied though his teeth.

Amy didn't believe it though, and swung her hammer right in the kiwis and knocked him down.

"Ooh, my sack! Anywhere but my sack!" EDP groaned in pain as Amy hit him again, this time in the face. "There, YOU HAPPY NOW?! GET OUT!"

EDP was then thrown into a lake, but his weight allowed him to float and not drown.

Amy scorned Cream. "Cream, you better make sure to be more careful when talking to strangers!"

"Y-Yes Amy, I will!"

A little bit after that, Bea came into the cabin, this time with a more cheerful demeanor than usual. "Hey guys, did anything happen while I was gone?"

"N-Nothing important, that's for sure." Sanders responded.

"Well we did have-" Banban tried to say before Sanders covered his mouth. "L-Like I said, nothing important!"

"OK then." Bea said with a surprising smile as she went to her bed. There, she took the bag that was underneath the bed, and searched in it. She took out some straw sandals out of it, and quickly put them on her formerly bare feet.

"This why you came here?" Asked Sanders.

"More or less yes. Walking barefoot is a pain on an island like this, and these sandals at least give me more freedom than some dumb sneakers."

"You do realize people are not going to be less horny just cuz you cover the sole, right?" Banban asked.

"Why do you ask that?"

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: Thank god EDP was taken care of before Bea arrived. Who knows what his reaction would have been to a barefoot, muscled chocolate waifu?

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"Hey Bea, I gotta say, I was really impressed with how you handled that jerk from yesterday!" Dee Jay congratulated her, causing her to crack a smile. "You were the only one brave enough to call his ass out like that, even I couldn't do that!"

"Thanks Dee Jay."

"#BEASWEEP!" Banban added.

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: Is it just me, or has Bea started to just...emote more? If so, good for her!

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At Team Pee Pee's cabin, their members were all staring at Johnny with contempt, except Brody and Jeffy for some reason.

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: Great, that fucking plankton has more or less guaranteed my elimination if our team loses the next challenge. This means that I gotta make sure that my dumbass teammates like Jeffy don't fuck it up.

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Plankton, Rottytops and Cordelia were once again having an alliance meeting.

"Alright alliance, Operation Get Rid Of Johnny Cage is still on-going, and, considering what happened yesterday, it's safe to say it'll be a success!" Plankton started.

"About that." Cordelia said. "Don't you find suspicious how convenient that was? Especially since you were the one to expose him for his alleged stealing?"

"So what? Even if he did lie, there's no real proof he did so, meaning we can just vote Johnny off no biggie!" Rotty explained.

"But that's a really bad thing to do, to make such slanderous claim just to vote him off!"

"And why do you care about morals so much girl? Those are for the lame people anyway!"

"If I lied, why would Boba Fett back me up. we're not even on the same team!" Plankton defended himself.

"I-I suppose that's true. But I'm still a bit confused is all."

"That's a good step forward for our alliance. And now, I'd say meeting's adjourned!"

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: If I find out about Plankton actually doing something shady, this alliance will be over! I can't give a bad example to the people of Ylisse by alligning with a villain!

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: If Cordelia's so serious about her moral standards, imagine what her reaction would be to my cross team alliance! Oh yeah, I haven't told any of them about the other team's allies, though I doubt anyone but her would care!

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The 3 teams arrived at the challenge site and were greeted by Chris and the two interns.

"Greetings idiots! Today's challenge is a blast from the past! Remember how we had a cool truth or lies challenge in Season 4 Episode 2 that we abandoned for a generic relay race we've done a dozen times? Well if you did, you'll sure be happy to hear we're bringing it back!"

Swag and Gordman then pull out a rug to reveal 3 sets of 12 chairs. All of them had a big red buzzer.

"Yo, didn't they have the same challenge back in Disventure Camp season 2?" Brody asked, to which Chris responded with that death threat gesture you see in movies.

"Ignoring the retard, this challenge is pretty simple: Gordman will reveal a deeply held secret of one of the contestants to a team, and to get a point, you'll need to reveal that secret to everyone by pressing that buzzer! If you don't, you just don't get a point! I could just torture you guys like last time, but I'm too lazy to do that!"

"You guys better not be pussies about your secrets, if we don't wanna lose!" Johnny told his team.

"And why should we listen to a person who is not nice?" Leafy replied. "And it's not like Team Cocoa didn't allow you on an island for it to be justified!"

"Yeah! Mr. Cheese is still mad about that!" Mr. Cheese exclaimed.

'Whatever. Challenge starts now. Everyone get in your seats and Gordman, reveal some juicy secrets!"

"Fine boss."

Everyone took their seats and were paranoid of what Chris could reveal.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: If Chris decides to reveal any of the stuff I've been doing this game I'm boned!

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Eh, I'm probabwy fine! I don't have any real secrets to reveal!

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"First question for Team Cocoa: Who's brother helped a fascist asshole nearly get elected from president?"

"That's probably Connor." Player says. "What with how much he talks about US politics."

"Ah ah ah! It only counts if he presses the buzzer!" Chris explains.

Sure enough, Connor presses it no biggie. "Whatever. He didn't get chosen anyway, and even then, I had very little to do with it. At most I asked for some role when we all thought he won."

"And about your, like, brother?" LSP asked.

"He's a stupid edgelord, that's all you need to know."

"That was surprisingly easy for him to answer, so one point for Team Cocoa! Gordman, next question for Team Rose this time!"

"OK, wait? Why are there over 20 questions for Bea that all relate to her feet?"

"Exactly, do you know how much of a pain it is to find images of me online that aren't feet photos or poorly drawn art made by some foot obsessed weirdos?!" Bea angrily complained.

"If you're so uncomfortable, Gordman can ignore all but one of them, aight?"

"Fine. Here's the most comfortable one: Who outright dislikes any shoes that aren't open toed?"

Bea pressed the buzzer super quickly. "Is that even a secret? It may as well be part of my brand at this point."

"You don't wear real shoes? That's dumb." Nichelle said. "But at least it ain't socks and sandals!"

"Honestly Nichelle, you've insulted me so many times I don't even care anymore."

"Next question: Who has falsely accused their own father of rape?"

Jeffy got angry. "What the fuck are you talking about? Daddy fucking slapped my fucking ass more times than I can fucking count!"

"Really though? Are you sure that's the truth? SWAG! Bring in the TV and put Jeffy's Bad Word on it!"

"Man that video sucks balls, but ok!"

Swag then brought a TV and it began playing an SML video. (you can skip this whole section)

SML Movie: Jeffy's Bad Word! (youtube.com)

"Ok, so, did Jeffy get raped or what?" Chris asked.

The whole team except Jeffy nodded "no". "WHAT THE FUCK?! I GOT FUCKIN' RAPED AND NONE OF YOU GIVE A SHIT?!"

"Jeffy, what you did to your own father was heartless behaviour at it's finest! Even MePhone4 wouldn't do something like this!" Cabby said.

"Yeah pal! All your dad did was discipline you for being a brat!" Gumshoe added.

"ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH!"

Chris grabbed a taser he had on him and used it on Jeffy to knock him out. "Much better. And since he never pressed the buzzer, Team Pee Pee doesn't in a point!"

Obviously the whole team groaned in frustration.

"Team Cocoa, which character has had the channel their series was hosted on become a massively awful content farm and has thrown all their previous quality out the window?"

Both Player and Mr. Cheese pressed the buzzer at the same time. "You didn't have to remind me of that-HEY! Stop copying what I say!" They both said at the same time.

"And I suppose that'd be a double point!" Chris declared, which caused the other 2 teams to get mad. "That's not fair Chris!" Cordelia complained.

"It is fair actually. In fact, I'll give out some more double questions right now! Gordman, do the honors!"

"Who is in an alliance in Team Rose?"

No one answered.

"Understandable I suppose."

"Team Pee Pee, who has attempted suicide before?"

"That is an extremely loaded question Chris." Cabby said. "I doubt anyone would-" And just before she could finish her sentence, both Plankton and Jeffy pressed the buzzer. "-answer."

"Yeah, I tried to hang myself one episode cuz daddy didn't give me money for a Spongebob game! It also inspired a kid to try hanging himself and that got us on the news!" Jeffy explained.

"And I also tried to get myself run over after my rival Mr. Krabs used my fear of whales against me." Plankton casually admitted.

Banban realized something. "Isn't Mr. Krabs from that one Superstars spin off? He made it to the final 17!"

"There were 18 people there Banban, everyone but the first one out made it to the final 17." Sanders said.

"I didn't watch past episode 2 anyways. How many did I miss anyway?"

"About 10, they're actually nearing the end apparently, episode 11 was so crazy I almost peed my pants watching it!" Brody explained.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chris yells. "Superstars is just a dumb fanmade show anyway! Really should've sued them in pre production!"

"You're telling me a person with clear history of lying to others would just lie about his show being official just to get it on air?" Brody asks.

"YES! Next question for Team Cocoa!"

"Team Cocoa, who has been abused by their boyfriend before?"

"You just love to embarrass people, don't ya Chris?" Sonic asked.

"Took ya long enough to see that honey." Nichelle sarcastically remarked.

Mr. Cheese pressed the buzzer. "Hey, at least now he's pretty nice."

We then get a flash back.

"My name Mr. Cheese!" Mr. Cheese said.

Suddenly and swiftly, TheGentleman turns around and slaps Mr. Cheese, hard.

"SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO, MR CHEESE!" He then turns around to Player. "My apologies. It appears Mr. Cheese has yet to learn his manners."

"Owie!" Mr. Cheese replied.

"Ah, ok." Player remarked.

"What even caused him to become less abusive to you?" Player asked.

"Probabwy he got scared after seeing what I did to his new BF that one time I impersonated you."

"The more you guys talk about stuff you did before, the more I lose braincells." Sonic snarked.

"Next question: Which one on Team Rose is a closeted lesbian?"

All the girls were weirded out by this question. "Uh, why would anyone answer that question mon?" Dee Jay asked.

"Well it's certainly not Amy." Boba Fett remarked. "This means it must be either Bea, Cream, Nichelle, Sanders or even Frisk if Frisk is a she."

"No answer from me." Sanders said.

"Or me." Bea added.

"Damn, I guess we'll never find out which girl would never date me." Swag complained.

"That's literally all of them." Gordman corrected.

"At least I've still got Sonic!"

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Confessional: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic: Yeah, I'll just stay here. Anywhere but where he is!

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"Regardless, Team Rose doesn't get a point, and to be honest, I don't blame them. Next question: Who has forgotten of their spouse on Team Pee Pee?"

No one answered.

"Thought so. Team Cocoa's got 4 points, Team Rose has 1, and Team Pee Pee has 2. Oh, how the tables have turned!" Chris said. "The other teams should start getting a bit more comfortable if they wanna beat the cocoas!"

"Team Cocoa, which one of you is a mass murderer?"

The team looked at each other with great concern.

And then Mr. Cheese pressed the button. "I mean, Among Us murders count, right?"

"NOPE!" Chris yelled. "You guys got the wrong guy, so no points this time!"

"Wait, does that mean one of us 8 is a murderer?" Player asked, concerned.

"I mean, I do turn a bunch of Eggman's bots into scraps of metal daily, and some can think and act for themselves, does that make me a mass murderer? Probably not, maybe a mass self defender instead!" Sonic sarcastically added.

"I mean, didn't the cat girl and duck get murdered?" Connor reminded them. "But then again, maybe some cop really hated animals? Happens all the time with black people in my country, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately if we're talking Kanye."

"Mon what the fuck?!" Dee Jay asked.

"What did I say wrong?"

"Moving on. Team Rose, who has killed over 500-" Toby Queef pressed hard on the buzzer before Gordman could even finish. "-hippies."

"Ye betcha ass I killed a lotta those tree huggin' faggots!" Toby Queef exclaimed. "See all that red on mah truck? That ain't paint, that's actual blood from them drug addicted, orgy lovin', cock suckin', anti american, meat hatin', creatures known as hippies!"

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: How this guy hasn't ever tried to kill people like me or Dee Jay before is a mystery to all.

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"Next question: Who has memory issues on team pee pee?"

With a bit of reluctance, Cabby pressed the buzzer and then rubbed her arm on her head(she's a file cabinet, so really more the equivalent of a head). "I don't like to talk about this, but it's better that I simply get it off my chest. This is exactly why I need my files with me at all times."

"Oh, so that's why you stalk people!" Johnny said sarcastically. "But I'm pretty sure you can't get away with murder if you had a gore fetish."

"Yup, who cares if you're much forced to do this? You're still a bad person Cabby!" Leafy cheerfully said.

Mona told Leafy off. "Hey! Cabby's our friend, don't try to shame her just for who she is!"

"Yeah pal, she's been super nice to everyone, even more than you!" Gumshoe added.

Leafy begins to cry. " *sobs uncontrollably* Why is everyone here so MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!"

Gumshoe began to cry as well. "SORRRYYYYY PALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

Ashley facepalmed.

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: Am I the only one here to not fall for this obvious attempt at emotional manipulation? Seems like it.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy continued to cry in the confessional until she stopped and smugly smirked at the camera.

Leafy: Pretending that you're sad or sorry always works out, why else did I rejoin BFB?

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"That was so gay that I'm straight again!" Swag declared.

"You might not wanna offend the token gay girl of the team Swag." Banban said. "Whoever that is, it's probably Bea anyhow."

"Uh, no?" She responded. "Why would you think that?"

"Banban probably just thinks I'd be hot if you made out with another girl." Boba Fett explained. "Me as well, hell, pretty much everyone here except you, Nichelle and Toby Queef."

"WHAT?!" Both Bea and Nichelle said at the same time.

"So long as they don't have actual romantic chemistry and just have onscreen sex and nothing else, I'm fine with gay people." Chris says.

"If you're gonna be a homophobe, at least be consistent about it." Gordman told Chris.

"Ok, maybe you're right, and to be honest, I've always been known to be a hypocrite. Anyway, since I'm bored of this challenge, let's do a lightning round: Gordman will give out every question from one team all at once, and the team will try to answer as many as they can. Team Pee Pee, you're up first!"

"Who is super insecure about how big her boobs are?"

Cordelia presses the buzzer.

"Who enjoys modern SML?"

Ashley reluctantly presses it, making Jeffy try to make a move on her before Mona pushes him away.

"Who is into BDSM?"

No one presses it.

"Who thinks DOGSEATINGDOGS6 is a good youtuber?"

No one presses it.

"Who gets scared by FNAF?"

Mona presses it.

"Who didn't have any dialogue in episode 2?"

Ashley presses it but it's wrong.

After a sped up montage, we get the final score.

"And finally, who has the smallest penis?"

Gumshoe presses it with a small frown on his face. "Yeah yeah, just get on with it pal."

"Nope. It was wrong apparently. The only ones who this applied to were the girls since I guess they don't have penises."

"Wait, they don't?" DADDY DID YOU JUST FUCKIN' LIE TO ME?!" Jeffy realized.

"Well that's just unfair!" Plankton complained.

"I know, but you still got 23 points, the other teams need reveal 19 or 21 of their secrets to even tie with you, let alone get you up for elimination!" Chris explained. "Next is Team Cocoa. Gordman, take it away!"

"Who thinks Nickelback is a good band?"

"Are you crazy? You can risk becoming a social outcast if you reveal that info!" Player said.

"Yah, imagine if the Lumpy Space Kingdom thought I liked Nickelback! They'd like kick me out and put my stupid cousin as ruler!" LSP added.

Connor however, had a plan. He gathered everyone in a circle. "Guys, I've got one little plan that can win us this challenge! You just gotta believe in me!"

"But old people are like so gross!" LSP complained. "E-Except Tree Trunks, she's cool I guess."

"I think we should try Connor's idea once, and if it fails, we're doing it again. Sounds fair right?" Player says, which gets him boos from Pillow, Homer and Mr. Cheese.

"Whatever woser."

They then got out of the circle as Connor hit the buzzer and said. "Not me."

"That's-actually, it is right, you did tell the truth, so I'll let it fly." Chris admitted.

"Who makes Gacha Life videos in their free time?"

"Not me."

"Who voted for Trump?"

"Not me."

"Surprising. Who wants to go back in time to shoot JFK?"

"Not me."

"Who hoards water because they believe the whole world will end in a few years?"

"Me."

"Bingo! Who has never watched BFDI?"

"Not me."

After a billion not me's later, we got to the final question for them.

"Who is an amogus character?"

"Not me."

"You could've gotten 2 instead of 1 point if you let Player and Mr. Cheese answer, but that hardly matters since you got like 60 points, you've pretty much guaranteed immunity for your team."

"Okay, I guess Connor's actually good at something, surprisingly." Mr. Cheese admitted. "Congrats!"

"You did great Connor!" Player said.

"I...I did?" Connor asked himself in disbelief. "I DID! Take that dad! I knew I'll eventually be good at something!"

"As for Team Rose, well, they gotta put in some real work to win this!" Chris said. "First question: Who quit last season over the most obvious scheme ever?"

Nichelle shrugged and pressed the button. "Are you trying to mock me?"

"Maybe. Now, who trained a lot to redeem themselves but failed miserably?"

"S-Seriously? Can you shut up?!" Nichelle complained as she pressed the button.

"Who is a lying bitch?"

"What do you have against me?"

"Who goes out of her way to demean someone out of jealousy and admiration?"

"STOP IT!" She yelled as she started to tear up.

"Who has had her whole life handed to her, all the fame, money and support one can have, and still blew it all up in front of millions on a reality show?" Chris asked with glee at Nichelle's very clear discomfort.

Nichelle couldn't take it any more and screamed at the top of her lungs. "ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU SO ENTERTAINED BY MOCKING ME?! I KNOW I'M A WORTHLESS BITCH ALRIGHT, DO I NEED IT TO BE POINTED OUT SO MUCH! FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU IDIOTS!"

Nichelle ran off, her crying heard all across the island, making most people uncomfortable.

"What the heck mon?! Did you seriously feel the need to do that to her?!" Dee Jay asked.

"Yeah! Sure she was arrogant and all, but you just gave her a mental breakdown for your own amusement!" Amy protested.

Meanwhile, Bea was looking perplexed, unsure of what to say. "N-Nichelle? W-Why?"

Dee Jay went to her. "Calm down Bea, it's not your fault, it's the host's, he's the real asshole here!"

"Yeah, what the hell Chris? That was seriously uncalled for!" Gordman complained.

"Crying bitches ain't hot, so fuck you shitter Chris!" Swag added.

Chris laughed it off. "Ehehehe! I really don't care how you guys see me, go on with the challenge!"

"Like hell we will!" Sanders responded. "I'm not going to participate in this humiliating challenge any longer!"

"Same!" Dee Jay added.

"Fine. Do as you wish. This was getting boring anyway, that last bit was me trying to spice things up a little."

"You guys do realize we're gonna lose a member, right?" Banban reminded them.

"Not like we're going to win anyhow. Might as well vote off the crying dead weight." Boba Fett said,

"I dunno about that." Amy countered. "She just had a breakdown, wouldn't it be a real jerk move if we voted her off now?"

"Here's my perspective: Nichelle is clearly not ready for this game, it's best we get her out so she can get professional help."

"I suppose that's true." Amy reluctantly admitted. "B-But I'll still think about it!"

"Well what about Bea then? What's she thinking of this?" Dee Jay asked.

"N-Nothing...I'll just...think of who to vote for...yeah."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: This is our chance to take out a big threat in Nichelle, and me and Banban will not be wasting it.

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Confessional: Banban

Banban: If I didn't make the merge for the third time, I'd probably kill myself! Might wanna call 'em suicide hotlines for this one!

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The members of Team Rose all walked to the elimination area, all of whom were staring on Nichelle the whole way through, as she was completely silent and sad.

"Team Rose, you're the second team to get single digit members! Feels pretty shitty, amerite?" Chris asked with a smile as some members groaned.

"Just get on with it faggot! I wanna fap to pictures of Taylor Swift alone!" Toby Queef said.

"We'll do so quickly. Gordman, do your thing."

"Fine. First off, Toby Queef!"

"What the fuck did I do?"

"You did admit to doing bad stuff mister." Cream reminded him.

"What's so bad about killing hippies? Hippie hunters should be national heroes in my opinion!" Banban said.

"Amy!"

"Ok, why me?"

"We need to list 3 all the time and I couldn't come up with a better one. Anyways: Nichelle!"

Nichelle looked defeated. "I know I know, just get me out now."

"We'll see about that." Chris said. "Or not."

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: One black person out, 3 more to go!

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Confessional: Dee Jay

Dee Jay: I-I just can't vote for Nichelle without feeling bad mon. I told everyone to vote Frisk cause she (?) is dead weight, but I'm not sure if they'll agree with me.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: ...I don't like Nichelle, but what happened today was just horrible to her. I'm hoping she'll improve, but I'm also not certain if keeping her would allow that, or if voting her off will even do anything. I'm going to need to think more.

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"The votes have been casted, and the ones with no votes are:"

"Toby Queef"

"Take that hippies!"

"Banban"

"WOOOOOOOOOO! Common Garten Of Banban Win bro!"

"Sanders"

"Amy"

"Cream"

"Dee Jay"

"Bea"

"And we're down to just Nichelle and Frisk! Will the only veteran get out so soon, or will our token ambigously gendered fellow get sent away?"

"UGH! Just get on with it!" Nichelle yelled.

"Fine fine. The last one safe, with 4 votes is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...Nichelle! Still in the game girl!"

"W-WHAT?! How?!" Nichelle asked herself, also shocking the others.

"Looks like one of the bigger threats on the team is still here, great." Boba Fett said.

"Seriously? Why am I still here? I don't deserve this!"

Bea then went up to her. "Look, I know we've had our differences and all, but after all this, I couldn't stomach voting you off in such a manner. Don't waste this chance!"

Nichelle wanted to speak, but didn't at the last second.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: After all I said about her, d-did she seriously save me?! Why would she think I deserve this? M-Maybe she's not that bad?

Nichelle then had a light blush on her cheeks, which she immediately hid.

Nichelle: Oh Bea, why couldn't I we have interacted in a better way?

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Frisk then walked up to the dock without a care in the world.

"Any last words?" Chris asked, as Frisk didn't give any answers. "I guess not, bye!"

Frisk was then punched with the Fist Thingy of Despair straight into the TLC of Shame.

"Man, I miss doing that! Hope we never get a Nick and Donald situation any time soon! Anyway, this episode was...alright, nothing too special. As for the future: Is Nichelle's rivalry with Bea becoming something else entirely? Will Homer be useful for once? And will Cream and Amy finally have decent screentime? Probably not, but just in case, find out next time on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Duncan was at prison again, with a white guy as his cellmate. "So, how'd your teenage pussy get in here?" The cellmate asked.

"I blew up a reality show host's mansion. How about you?"

"Well lemme sing a little song about it: (warning: crazy amount of sexual lyrics)

She was lickin' my nuts (nuts)
Eatin' my skeet (skeet)
Now I'm locked up (up)
Beatin' my meat (meat)
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
We was sippin' on yak (yak)
She takin' her clothes off
Now someone black's
Tellin' me to bend over
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

My life is a story of trials and jailbait
Why do I have bisexual cellmate?
I told some hoe to get naked
Now I'm in jail
And I'm gettin' butt raped, and
Shoulda told her to show me some ID
Before I know it
She was suckin' on my d-
In prison, I can't get into a gang
So I'm gettin' gang raped by Mexicans

I fucked up my life
Her butthole was tight
But not worth doin' time
'Cause now I'm gettin' boned in mine

I was up in her butt (butt)
Slappin' them cheeks (cheeks)
Now I'm gettin' love
From a guy named Jesus
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
She was lickin' my dick (dick)
Givin' me blowjobs
Now I'm gettin' sex
When I'm droppin' the soap, and
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

When I was gettin' laid
Her age was of no concern
Now I'm gettin' AIDS
Them gays are takin' turns
And I just wish them homies would stop rapin' my cornhole
Come on, y'all
Go play basketball

How could I have ever known
That the hoe is underage
I just wanted her to give me and my friends a couple handjobs
Yeah
I was all up in her muff
I guess grass on the field isn't enough

I got a Jewish lawyer when I went to court
But my judge knew exactly who I was
And since when should a woman be allowed to be a judge?
They're all dumb

She was lickin' my nuts (nuts)
Eatin' my skeet (skeet)
Now I'm locked up (up)
Beatin' my meat (meat)
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
We was sippin' on yak (yak)
She takin' her clothes off
Now someone black's tellin' me to bend over
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

If you ever got a hoe to take her pants off
And then the cops takin' you away in handcuffs
And Chris Hansen's sayin' "Why don't you have a seat here with me?"
Ninja, please

I shoulda never old a hoe to take her pants off
I shoulda never nutted up inside her asshole
Because the sperm in her butt was evidence against me
She told me she was forty-three

She was lickin' my nuts (nuts)
Eatin' my skeet (skeet)
Now I'm locked up (up)
Beatin' my meat (meat)
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
We was sippin' on yak (yak)
She takin' her clothes off
Now someone black's tellin' me to bend over
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

I was up in her butt (butt)
Slappin' them cheeks (cheeks)
Now I'm gettin' love
From a guy named Jesus
Open my eyes, yeah
She was only seventeen
She was lickin' my dick (dick)
Givin' me blowjobs
Now I'm gettin' sex
When I'm droppin' the soap, and
I realize, yeah
She was only seventeen

In the case of the people vs. Rucka Rucka Ali
The defendant is found guilty
Enjoy getting your butt fucked by a man with many tattoos and questionable citizenship
Suck my balls!

And that's how I got AIDS in prison."

"Ok, maybe being dead for 15 or so years wasn't so bad."

That was a total shitshow. I was going to keep the reveal of Nichelle's crush a secret, but figured keeping it hidden for a dozen or so episodes was boring, so yeah, Bea x Nichelle is going to be the main couple, who would've thought?

Also a lot of obscure references.

Next episode will have a returning guest from the BFDI world, who will judge the cast's commercials! Don't worry, unlike Ts'ai, he's chill. At least if you're not purple, or pink or black, then expect him to lock you up in a box for years.

Ciao!

Chapter Text

And we're back!

Responses:

Luckyhill: Yeah Frisk was only picked as fodder, I think that was obvious given I never gave him(?) any screentime.

1602Jaw: Thanks I guess.

"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness! We had a challenge that existed for the sole purpose of humiliating our dumbass campers! I did a little trolling by giving that bitch Nichelle a mental breakdown for being annoying to get her out, which instead caused her to begin her lesbian awakening...somehow.

28 are left, which by the way, is the same amount or more of the starting rosters of fanfictions such as: Total Drama Infinite, Bon Voyage, Superstars (fuck that one), Tyranny Of The Masses, Everything 1, 2 & 3, The Fantastic Don House, Characters Do Challenge And Things, Epic Character Elimination Reboot 3 times in a row, The Static Serene Game Show, Forest Campgrounds, X-Way Presents: Misfits Fight, (update:multiverse), Total Crossover Battle: Mystery Box, Universe, Upsilon's Really Awesome & Dumb Voting, Endless, Timescape, A Chaotic Cartoon Crossover, Cruis'n, Battle For Total Drama: A Total Drama Crossover Story, Jumbled, Nirvana, The Spectacular Blaineley Show, Cosmopolitan Island, Neo, CYOC Island, Total Stuffed Fluffled Island Season 1, Randomness, Ultimate Crossover etc.

And do you wanna know how many have actually FINISHED their run?"

Chris then counts that with his fingers. "Fucking 9! And most of these are barely at the start! Whatever through, because MY show is onto the ninth episode! Will we get cancelled before the double digit mark? Probably, but might as well try to find out anyway by watching

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Episode 9: Ending The Bea-F

We open the episode with Cabby going about her day. She was going through the forest, checking every nook and cranny of it to write in her file.

"Hmmm, it seems that all I have left to look at is the thorny bushes. Better make sure to hurry before the breakfast as well, a hungry mind is not a good mind." She muttered to herself.

Cabby then heard a voice from the distance. "Hey Cabby, what's up pal?"

That was Gumshoe, who ran up to Cabby quite quickly. "Oh, detective, didn't see you there. What exactly brings you here?"

"I hope I won't offend you miss, but what is exactly is up with those "memory issues" of yours? Again, I'm sorry if I offend you."

Cabby takes a deep sigh. "You know what Gumshoe? Since the cat's already out of the bag, I'll explain it: Since the moment I was born, I've had an undiagnosed mental illness that causes me short term memory loss. It's not exactly consistent. One day I forget about what meal I had at breakfast, then it could take as little as a day later to as long as months for me to not be able to recognize my own friends. This is why I use my files, though unfortunately, a lot of my early life has been lost forever, I struggle to remember even my parents."

"That's, uh, that's bad pal! I'm sorry for your state, not everyone's birth is sunshine & rainbows unfortunately." Gumshoe said with a sympathetic frown.

"You don't need to be sorry detective, I've long since accepted it and have continued to live with it. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have revealed it even if it was for a challenge." Cabby explained.

"Oh, but still, I feel for you pal. You're a really nice lady, and I don't want you to feel bad like Leafy does." He says.

"Thank you for the concern Gumshoe. I suppose we should go to the mess hall, right?"

"Yeah, I'm starving! And considering I live off instant noodles that's really saying something pal!"

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: If I want to make it further into this game, an alliance partner is a good start. Gumshoe is already someone I'd consider a friend, so I'll say that's already taken care of. The next one should be looking into who on my team is allied with who.

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Nichelle was still sitting in her bed, even after everyone else was leaving. She was facing the wall and not saying anything, her mind having all kinds of thoughts about yesterday. This didn't last long however, as she was soon approached by her rival, Bea.

"Having trouble right now? You need to get up if you don't want to starve yourself." She said.

"Don't talk to me!" Nichelle replied with an angry tone. "Let me suffer in peace!"

"Funny you say that, considering you were practically looking for ways to taunt me before. Yet despite that, I pity you somewhat. Here you are, a laughingstock to everyone, that's awful isn't it? You can always try to-"

"I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME!"

Bea, rather than get yelled at more, gave in and left. "Fine, if you say so, bitch."

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: My opinion on Nichelle is...complicated, to say the least. I want to see her ego get crushed, but I also want to have her improve her attitude. Right now, neither is happening.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: If I'm being honest, I'm not even sure what my opinion on Bea is anymore! As much as I hate her, she still saved me last night, a-and her calling me a bitch really hurt!

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Mr. Cheese invited Pillow to the beach to discuss strategy. When he arrived, Pillow was busy staring at the sun.

"Uh, Pillow, why are you destroying your eyesight?" He asked in confusion.

"Oh that? I was just pleasuring my eyeballs after watching SSSniperwolf!" Pillow responded.

"Okay? Whatever, today, I cawwed you for some good ol' alliance talk."

"I totally forgot about it since the writer didn't mention it past the last five episodes and treated me like a crazy simp and for nothing else!"

"You're weirder than me Pillow. Anyway, besides Player, you think there's anyone else on the team tryin' to take me out?"

"I dunno. Homer & LSP are super loyal, I can assure you that! Ash & Connor are minor characters so we don't need to worry about them, and Sonic is a true wild card. His loyalties lie in who's got more chili dogs. I bought a whole box of them through amazon, so he's no biggie."

"Interesting analysis, though mine is better: Anyone who doesn't treat Player like trash is a treat, so Connor & Sonic are high on my priority list."

"Uh, Our Lord & Savior Cheese, don't you think it's better to eliminate Player first? Studies show that a Total Drama villain's chances of making it far go significantly up if you get rid of likeable characters early on." Pillow reminded him.

"Eh, tormenting him is more fun! Besides, the whole team loves me! I'm the MVP!"

"Sure you are, Mr. Cheese."

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Pillow's quite the wildcard, that's for sure. But Mr. Cheese has got the rest of his stupid team to use as a crutch, so don't expect Player to ever have fun around here ever!

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: Hey guys! Watch this!

Pillow then pulls out a gun.

Pillow: Pretty cool right? Murdering people is so much easier when guns are easily available like in America!

She then shoots the camera.

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At the mess hall, Toby Queef was selling around drugs to various contestants.

"Come 'ere for Toby Queef's True American Blue Shit! At a discounted price of 12,99$ instead of 1000$! Except for 'em black folks, they get it for free so they can OD 'n shit!" He loudly announced to everyone.

During this, Boba Fett glared at Banban.

"What? Sure it's illegal, but no one's calling the police on us!" He explained.

Leafy grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a very large number on it. "Alrighty then Mr. Queef, here's 1 Vigitillion dolars for a single batch of that fine sugar!"

"Holy fuckamole, that's more than 5 dollars! I could buy like 3 TVs with that shit! Here, take mah entire stock!" Toby Queef then gave Leafy all of his drugs, and the Leafster instantly swallowed them all whole.

"Hey!" Johnny yelled. "I was gonna buy some of that!"

Leafy made a scowling face. "Nah-uh! Mean people don't get desserts, and you sir are pretty mean!"

"Uh, Leafy, I'm pretty sure that wasn't a dessert, or e-even food at all." Cabby told her.

"Why would I listen to a mean person like you? You're evil Cabby! E-V-I-L!"

Gumshoe was pissed. "HEY! Don't talk to her like that! She's done nothing bad to you!"

"And why are you so set on defending her? You're not my pal anymore Gumshoe!"

Cabby tried to defuse the situation. "Everyone, please, try to calm down. Fighting like this won't help anyone!"

Before the situation could escalate any further, the intercom announcing the challenge played as usual, though a little different this time.

"Wassup sexy bitches challenge is ready 4 lunch now go now or get rekt bitch!" Swag's voice said before Chris took over. "Not cool dude! Go sit in the timeout corner for that!"

"Anyways, yeah, do what he says and go to the fucking challenge, okay?"

"Of course, the challenge is announced during the most convenient of times." Ashley remarked.

"Eh, I'll describe it more as a cheap ending when the author doesn't know how to properly end a scene." Banban said.

"Mon, I still don't understand half the things you're ever saying." Dee Jay confessed. "But whatever, let's go."

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy is seen holding her "niceness chart" and crosses out Cabby's name and putting her in the lowest possible tier.

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Confessional: Homer Simpson

Homer: How do you breathe again?

Homer then starts suffocating.

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We were now at the challenge site once more.

"Welcome campers! Now, before we start the challenge, I'd like to do this." Chris says as he pulls out a gun and shoots Gumshoe.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! HOLY FUCK PAL, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Oh my god! Why did you do this to him?!" Mona asked in shock as she went to Gumshoe and tried to help him.

"I got these bullets on sale so I'm getting my money's worth. Plus, he seems like the best fit for the role of the character who gets tortured the entire season."

"Why are we even shocked by this point? I think we've already seen how depraved Chris is by now." Player pointed out.

"Pretty much." Sanders added.

"Whatever. Today's challenge is another judging contest."

"Wow, how original." Ashley snarked. "Next up we'll have another truth or lies challenge right?"

"Does it look like I give a shit? Judge, it's your que to appear!"

Out of the blue entered the poorly scribbled & racist Yellow Face from all the way back in episode 6.

"Hey guys! Name's Yellow Face. I make cool commercials for even cooler products! Now, I'm currently on vacation so I won't do ads, and you guys will make some for me instead, ok?"

"Yeah, what he said." Chris told everyone.

"Wait, didn't we see this guy back in the ebola challenge?" Sonic remembered.

"We sure did. I thought Yellow Face's racism would've helped us get rid of all that melanin, but he shut the door down before we could've extracted his blood." Pillow explained.

"Uh, Pillow, objects don't bleed." Yellow Face corrected her. "But hey, on the bright side, you guys aren't black anymore! That's the third worst color, right below pink and purple of course!"

Bea glared at him. "Chris, why are you bringing along another bigoted guest? Maybe this one will die too."

"No it's fine, none of you are purple anyway, that's the color which really grinds my gears!"

"So yeah, y'all heard the yellow fella. Make some ads that we can use in commercials or something now!"

Johnny, naturally, was the first to come up with an idea. "Guys, I'm literally an actor, if anyone's gonna have some involvement in filming a commercial, it's gotta be me! I can also direct this shit, cuz I've always wanted to make my own movie one day!"

"And why should we listen to you, thief?!" Leafy asked him.

"Even though Johnny may or may not have stolen an item a few episodes ago, I think it's best we trust him. It's not like any of us have any film making experiences." Cabby explains.

"See? File Cabinet gets it!"

"Also, is anyone a little worried about Gumshoe?" Cordelia asks as she points to the detective, who was still lying in pain.

Ashley steps in and pulls out her wand. "Relax, I'll fix him in no time." She then says some latin shit and Gumshoe's back to normal.

"W-Where's the bullet? Am I ok now?"

"No, you've got cancer now." Ashley sarcastically responds.

"OH MY GOODNESS PAL! THAT'S EVEN WORSE!"

"Sarcasm is indeed worse than slowly bleeding out from a gunshot." Ashley casually said. "Anyway, can Johnny just start the production or what?"

"Fine. First up, we'll need to assign roles for our production crew. Cordelia, since you're a hottie and one of the few normal looking people on our team if you don't count that stupid armor, you'll be one of our actors."

"M-Mr. Cage, while I do appreciate the compliment, It's not a good idea to insult most of the team like that." Cordelia tells him.

"Pfft, whatever! He's right on the money about us being weirdos, and even if you're offended, he's probably going next anyway!" Plankton says.

"Ok Plankton, since you're so smart, you should make our set, right little guy?"

"I would like if instead of "little guy" you'd call me an EVIL GENIUS!"

"I sure hope you're being hyperbolic." Cordelia mutters.

"Cordelia, stop being a pussy. But regardless, here's some more roles: Ashley will bring in our product with her magic, Cabby & Gumshoe will do research, Mona will do the costumes in addition to being an actress."

Mona squealed at that thought. "Oh, that's so nice of you Johnny! Finally, a way to show off my artistic passion!"

"Good for you I guess. Leafy & Jeffy would review the footage and Brody can suck my dick."

This made Brody sad. "C'mon dude, what did I do wrong?"

"You're an obnoxiously stupid mexican piece of shit who always bothers me."

"What's a mexican?" Brody asked. "Is it some kind of political ideology?"

Johnny facepalmed.

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Confessional: Brody

Brody: Oh wait, mexican is my racial identity! Not sure if that makes it better or worse though.

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: If I win this one for my team, they'll forgive me for supposedly stealing something without much of a fuss!

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Sanders heard what Johnny was planning and decided to copy his ideas for her team. "Guys, since Nichelle's an actress, maybe we can have her-" But before she could finish what she was saying, Nichelle fled the vicinity with a tearful expression. "-Great. I guess she won't help."

"That's very worrying, considering her breakdown yesterday. I'll go look for her." Bea said as she ran to where Nichelle went.

"Well at least that's 2 less black people to have to deal with!" Toby Queef noted. "Especially since it's two gay black people!"

"Mr. Queef, I would very much appreciate if it if you didn't assume the sexuality of two girls no older than 18." Dee Jay told him.

"Shut up ni-"

"Guys!" Banban yelled. "Why don't we make a commercial about the Garten Of Banban games? That would be based as hell!"

"I mean, apparently Cream likes them, so I suppose we do." Amy says. "But let's keep it a little PG, ok?"

"What exactly does PG mean?" Boba Fett asked.

"It means Penis is Gay!" Toby Queef claims.

Amy of course smacks him with a hammer. "There's a kid here you weirdo! And I don't want Cream's mother to see her child learn such vulgar words on TV!"

"Fuck you-" He then got hit with a hammer again.

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Confessional: Toby Queef

Toby Queef: Honestly, I should've gone to Russia and killed some Slavs than been on this show made for faggots!

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: On one hand, being on a team of idiots works great for my game. On the other hand, my goodness can it be exhausting at times.

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Team Cocoa were currently trying to come up with an idea for an ad.

"Alrighty team, what shall we do for this challenge whilst I sleep?!" Homer asked as he yawned.

"Kill Homer?" Pillow casually suggested.

"If I'm being honest that doesn't sound as bad as it should." Sonic said.

Player decided to help out. "Guys, let's think logically. What would be a good add?"

"A campaign video for me?" Connor said. "That way, millions of Americans would be forced to watch it when they wouldn't want to and be exposed by my natural charisma to vote for me!"

"Connor are you, like, retarded?" LSP bluntly asked him.

"Dad used to call me that all the time, so maybe yes."

"Connor, that's messed up." Player told him. "If my own dad used such words to describe me, I'd likely have cut him off by now."

"You get used to it. No one's ever treated me seriously, so why should I care what they say about me?"

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Confessional: Player

Player: Wow, me and Connor have a lot more in common than I'd like to admit.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Man, Connor's such a jerk for trying to steal the spotwight from me!

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"Ah, no. Sounds stupid. Let's do a commercial about Mr. Cheese!" Mr. Cheese exclaimed.

"Narcissism, much?" Sonic asked.

"HEY! He's my idol so let him do what he wants!" Homer shouted at Sonic.

"Guys, guys, guys, I got an idea that doesn't involve killing!" Pillow said.

"What is it?" Connor asked.

"We can make a Yoylecake and than do a commercial! And I know exactly how to get ingredients!" Pillow then takes out a phone.

We now cut to a living McDonalds fries box on a field.

Fries-The Alleged Cannibal (Battle For Dream Island)

Fries heard his phone ringing and picked up to see who it was. "Yeah, who is it?"

"Hey Fries, it's me Pillow. I want to bake some Yoylecake but don't have any ingredients. can you help me with that?"

"Sure thing." Fries said as he literally crossed the line separating him and Pillow. "What a bunch of circus freaks!"

"Hey! I'm not a circus, I'm just a clown!" Homer complained.

"Whatever." Fries said as he took out a shovel. "Get digging Homer, the ingredients are probably underground."

Homer dug up a hole.

"Get digging Pillow, the ingredients are probably underground."

Pillow dug up a hole.

"Get digging Ash Ketchum, the ingredients are probably underground."

Ash dug up a hole.

"Get digging Connor Roy, the ingredients are probably underground."

Connor dug up a hole.

"Get digging Mr. Cheese, the ingredients are probably underground."

Mr. Cheese dug up a hole.

"Are you just able to telepathically tell people to dig or something?" Player asked.

"Get digging Player, the ingredients are probably underground."

Player dug up a hole.

"Get digging LSP, the ingredients are probably underground."

LSP dug up a hole.

"Get digging Sonic The Hedgehog, the ingredients are probably underground."

Sonic dug up a hole.

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Confessional: Fries

Fries: This place is disgusting! Who is running this stupid island anyway?! That bossy bot Golf Ball?!

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Cabby was looking over at Johnny's demands for the script and was shocked at his ideas.

"Wait, you want to do what to Brody?!"

"It's just as it says dumbass. Look, this is my directorial debut, I need full creative control, okay? So don't try to question it."

"I don't know about that. What if they disqualify us for being too mature enough?"

"They literally showed off a dead body on live TV, I don't see how that's worse."

"Fair point."

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Confessional: Johnny Cage

Johnny: Watch out Brody boy, for you'll want for us to be separated by a wall!

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Banban was in the midst of explaining to his actors what they should do.

"Alright guys, so when Toby Queef comes into view, you guys immediately run from him and scream "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! RACISSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" or something like that, got it?"

We then cut to Sanders and Dee Jay rolling their eyes.

"Can we just live our lives without our races being constantly mentioned?" Sanders complained. "Seriously, it's annoying."

"Exactly mon."

"Hey, I promise there won't be any more racist jokes when Queef's gone." Banban said as he pointed towards Toby Queef, who was scratching his ass.

"Man oh man, I sure hope no smelly gay hippie approaches me right 'bout now." Toby Queef loudly said.

Naturally, he was approached by some random hippie. "Yo dude, peace and love 'n shit! Name's Steve Gay, but most people call me Fuckadoodle cuz I fuck people a lot and give them AIDS! Wanna have-"

Before the hippie could do hippie stuff though, Toby Queef used his gigantic ass to crush his skull. He landed on him, which caused the hippie's body to become nothing but red mush. He also farted for good measure.

"Ah, much better!" He declared as the other 3 people with him had horrified looks on their faces.

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: Yeah, I really shouldn't have signed up here.

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Mona and Cordelia were in the cabin, with the former preparing the latter for a little makeover.

"Alright girl, we're going to make a fabulous modern dress for you! Got an idea for color, or or the fabric?" Mona asked.

"To be perfectly clear Mona, I honestly don't care. I'm just here to win the challenge, so do what you want to do." Cordelia responded.

"Can you at least tell me your shoe size or height?"

"What?"

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Confessional: Mona

Mona: Cord may not exactly be aware of current fashion trends, but her pretty face can work on all sorts of dresses!

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: It's a shame I likely won't get to see dresses like the ones Mona makes, but such is the way of life.

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Bea was still chasing after Nichelle, due to being concerned about her mental state. She sees Nichelle stopping to sit on a random tree stump and tries to observe her from a bush. Nichelle does...nothing, just staring at nothing, saying nothing.

She decided to get out of there before a certain voice stopped her. "I know you're here already, so come out of there."

Bea was surprised by that and got out of the bush. "...Okay. Are you alright? I'm...worried about you."

Nichelle began to cry. "About me? Why do you care about me? Why did you save me last elimination? I've been nothing but a complete bitch for these past few weeks, so WHY?!"

"Be-Because, to put it simply, that breakdown you had was just awful. Even if I hated you, you still deserve some sympathy."

Nichelle wiped her tears. "E-Even after all this?"

"I guess so, c'mon, vent how much you want."

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: I want to have an open mind on things, so that's why I'd listen to her so please, don't disappoint me.

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"When that incident happened in my first season, I became a complete laughing stock for lying about doing my own stunts, so I trained hard to be as badass as I made myself out to be before, but even then no one took me seriously!" Nichelle began. "I thought that, if I showed off how awesome I am to everyone, that I would finally be respected."

"So this whole arrogant demeanor of yours is simply insecurity?"

Nichelle quietly nodded.

"Thought so. And your hatred towards me?"

"J-Jealousy. Yeah, just that. You're actually pretty cool, I was just too much of a bitch to admit-"

"Don't say that! Your past behavior wasn't the most adequate, but if this is how you really feel like, I do think there's a potential redemption in there."

"Re-Redemption? For me?"

"Yes, but acknowledging your flaws is only the first step. Then you'll have to deal with and potentially overcome your flaws."

"B-But what if I can't do that alone?"

"Then I'll help you." Bea said as she started to hug Nichelle. "And Dee Jay as well."

Nichelle's face turned red, or at least as red as someone of her skin tone could be, as she pulled her hands out as well. "T-Thank you so, so much!"

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: I've got a lot to think about right now, but first and foremost, I'm actually glad me and Bea came to an understanding! That girl who I kept insulting gave me more affection in one hug than my shitty parents did my entire life! Another hug would be good as well, maybe even a kiss-wait, what did I just say?

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Well that's one worry off my chest. Now I can focus on the game.

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Plankton was anxiously waiting for his 2 allies to return from the ad production. "C'mon c'mon, what's taking so long?! Evil plans work better when there's 3 instead of 1! Why else do I always fail to get Mr. Krabs' secret formula?!"

2 allies did return, but not the allies he wanted.

"Yo Plankton, what's up?" Banban greeted as he and Boba Fett walked in.

"Huh? Who are you again?" Plankton asked in confusion.

Banban cried. "You don't know about the Garten Of Banban games? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"He's my alliance mate on my team, remember?" Boba Fett responded.

"Oh him? I kinda forgot he existed since we've never talked that much."

Banban stopped crying. "I'm still sad by the way, it's just that I already sweat so much daily making Garten Of Banban stuff I barely have enough water to cry! Anyways, I wanted to ask about your opinion on the commercial I just made!"

He gave Plankton his phone to look at the video. Plankton watched the first 0.00001 seconds of it, turned it off and threw the phone in Banban's face. "Pretty good, just give it a purple filter and you're golden!"

"Got that boss! Purple filter and it's done!" Banban declared as he ran off to edit his video.

"I smell something fishy going on." Boba Fett said. "Are you, perhaps, trying to get my ally out?"

"Maybe really it all depends on how good you are at keeping him around! If you get rid of any particularly dangerous threat, I'll be doing you a favor! But if you don't, oh well, not my fault!"

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Plankton's ego seems to be able to make him do irrational and self sabotaging decisions, such as screwing over his own teammates. I'll let him pass here, but if he tries it again, our partnership is over.

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Mona was finally done with dressing up Cordelia and herself and was ready to come out the cabin.

"Guys, come see us!" She yelled, which attracted her teammates.

Mona was the first to come out. She wore a white dress and her normal red boots, along with her hair being put into a ponytail as she exited the cabin like a model.

This attracted the hornyness of Jeffy. "Oh my diaper, hot ginger ass is on the loose! Wanna see my pee pee?"

Ashley quickly slapped Jeffy. "Don't talk to a woman like that again."

"But what about nonbinaries?"

"I give up." Ashley admits.

"Oh man, it would've been so good to get noticed by anyone other than him!" Mona complained. "Oh well, Cords, come out girl! Show 'em how much you rock that dress!"

Cordelia, somewhat awkwardly, begins to get out the cabin, showing she clearly has never walked in heels before, as she could barely show off her beautiful red dress as her heel broke and she fell over.

Mona grabbed her head in embarrassment. "Uh, oops?"

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: I suppose I'm just not cut out for the fashion world, maybe Sumia or Olivia would be more interested.

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Chris decided to check on Team Cocoa due to seeing them dig dirt for some reason.

"Alright what you morons are up to-JESUS CHRIST!"

We then cut to the giant hole they dug up at the psychological orders of Fries. "YOU MADE A HOLE THE SIZE OF THE FUCKING ATLANTIC!"

Player noticed that. "Wait what? How did we even do that? I don't remember digging out anything."

"Maybe Fries is just able to make us dig up a hole against our will?" Homer proclaimed.

"That was my second guess, surprisingly." Sonic snarked.

"Who the fuck is this Fries fag? I've got no idea who he is but I already want to dismember him!" Chris claimed.

"You don't know who I am? More people watched BFDI than the Total Drama Reboot, probably." Fries said as he appeared out of nowhere.

"Y-YOU! Interns, get his ass out ASAP!"

Guard Chris and Swag appeared and started to prepare the Fist Thingy of Despair.

"Wait!" Fries yelled as he took out a shovel. "Christopher Gordman and Swagmaster6969696969, get digging! The ingredients are probably-" Before he could finish, he got hit by the Fist Thingy of Despair. "UNDERGROOOOOOUUUUUUUNNDDDDDDD!"

"You really should start getting better security boss." Guard Chris said. "And maybe a restraining order for Sonic towards Swag."

"Fuck you bro I do what I want! Now gimme some booty Sonic!"

"Oh goodness." Sonic claimed as he ran off at super sonic speed.

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Confessional: Sonic

Sonic: What is it about me that attracts so many weirdos? First there's Amy, then Chris Chan, then this guy!

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Bea and Nichelle finally returned to their team, and were actually ok with being around each other for once.

"Took long enough for you two to return, we're already done with filming and Banban's doing a little post production right now." Sanders told them.

Bea was the one to talk. "Sorry to talk about that. Me and Nichelle had a talk about our little rivalry, and I can confidently say we've managed to bury the hatchet."

"Yup. I've promised to try to be nicer from now on, m'kay?" Nichelle said.

"Good to know you girls finally made up mon!" Dee Jay congratulated them. "C'here, let good ol' Dee Jay give ya a hug!"

The two girls were held tightly by him, with Nichelle very briefly blushing at feeling Bea's skin.

"I feel like I'm about to choke!" Nichelle muttered.

"You'll get used to it."

After they were done with filming the commercial, Johnny & Cordelia went out to celebrate by eating in the mess hall.

Johnny sat down.

"You ever accidentally masturbate to pictures of your future daughter who came into the past when you had just started sharing the bed with her dad?" Cordelia asked.

"Who the fuck starts a conversation like that?! I just sat down!" Johnny said.

"What, have you never met your future daughter?"

"No and I never will retard!"

"That's rude."

Since Team Cocoa did nothing but dig the whole challenge, they were basically scrambling what to do.

"Crap, what are wanna do?" Player said worryingly. "The other teams have likely all done their commercial by now and we don't even have our product!"

"What even is our product? We've got literally like nothing!' LSP claimed.

"We do have a product!" Pillow said as she came in with a big, colorful cake. "It's Yoylecake, and before Homer tries to eat it, I'll just say it's plastic."

"D'oh!" Homer yelled in disappointment. "Actually, now that I think about, plastic doesn't sound so bad."

"So all that digging was really for nothing, huh?" Sonic asked himself. "I suppose we just rush filming and hope the other teams suck more."

"That wouldn't have happened if you guys made a commercial for Mr. Cheese!"

"Absolutely!" Homer proclaimed.

The air horns started ringing as loud as possible to signify the end of the pre judging stuff.

"Campers, it's time for the judging by our guest Yellow Face! If you haven't made a commercial, well, go fuck yourself." Chris's voice said.

"Johnny, can you at the very least show us the content of your commercial?" Cabby asked him.

"What? No! I don't want anyone to view my masterpiece until it's time for it!"

Brody joined in. "Is it because you-"

"Shut up and clean my toilet you dumbfuck immigrant." Johnny plainly said to him, which made Brody sad.

"I suppose you do as you wish." Cabby said as she left for the challenge.

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Confessional: Mona

Mona: Johnny hasn't allowed anyone to see the commercial he made, but considering what Brody told me, it won't be pretty.

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Everyone was now at the stage they used back in season 1, but more crappy (I.E. rusted and with dozens of cracks everywhere) than before, with Yellow Face having his own bench that was facing towards it.

"Oh am I so excited to start rating these wonderful ads!" Yellow Face proclaimed with his usual cheery tone.

"That's if they actually made ads!" Chris told him. "But luckily, they did! Which team would want to go first?"

Pillow raised her hand, much to the chagrin of her teammates. "We've already gotten first before, so why not now?"

"Don't remind me Pillow. We're probably going to fail because of you anyway." Player claimed.

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Pwayer is actually right for once. Pillow pretty much destroyed our chances of winning by calling McDonalds. KFC is better!

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Pillow got onto the stage and introduced herself. "Hey everyone. My name is Pillow, former death preventer, current death causer. For this here ad, I decided to advertise my country's native yoylecake!" She then pulls out a recorder. "Here! Let's see!"

The video starts playing.

We're in the middle of the woods with Mr. Cheese and Player being there.

"What are our lines again?" Player asked, not noticing he's being filmed.

"Make stuff up. The integrity will nab us a few extra points." Pillow, who was the one filming them, responded.

"Uh, ok then. H-Hi, I'm Player, you may know me from the popular Gametoons channel, where they make animated parodies of various video games-"

"Oh my Cheddar Pwayer that sucked! Let me do it for you!" Mr. Cheese said. "Hi, my name Mr. Cheese, and even though it ain't got cheddar, Yoylecake is pretty good."

Player was not impressed. "That's it?"

"Yeah, we're 1 minute away from getting judged so we might as well rush it." Mr. Cheese explained. "And make sure to buy my shirts at Gametoons dot com!"

"Fanfiction dot net doesn't even allow you to add dot com stupid." Pillow reminded him. "But other than that, I think it's a wrap!"

Everyone started laughing at Team Cocoa, including Homer, at how shitty their commercial was.

"Oh my god, that was hilarious, and I don't even believe in god!" Chris muttered as he giggled at their failures. "Judge, what are your thoughts?"

"Hmmm, I'll give it a 6/10!" Yellow Face said after a bit of thinking, which shocked EVERYONE but Pillow.

"Wha? WHAT THE FUCK! Are you retarded yellow face?!" Chris asked, perplexed.

"I have to agree with him on this one. That commercial was horrible!" Player admitted.

Pillow then pulls out an AK-47. "You were saying?"

Player was scared. "T-That it was great! No questions asked!"

"Anyway, the reason why I gave them such a high score is because of your integrity! No corporation could produce something as this in this day and age!"

"First off, you're corporate yourself." Sonic began. "Second, this is just garbage."

Yellow Face gasped. "You don't know anything!" He then returned to his usual chippy demeanor. "But enough about that. Chris! Show me what the other teams have in store for me in more ways than one!"

"Okay okay. Team Pee Pee, you guys go next I guess. About high time you lost."

"Hey! That's not nice!" Leafy protested. "In fact, that's mean!"

"Ignoring her." Johnny muttered. "Time for you guys to check out my passion project baby!"

We see two women played by Mona and Cordelia talking about shoes like every other dumb slut (which is ironic since Cordelia isn't wearing shoes due to what happened earlier).

"Those shoes are like, slay!" Cordelia said in the most pathetic attempt at imitating a valley girl accent. "But not as like slay as like Johnny like Cage!"

"I know right? I just wanna give him a blowjob and a handjob at the same time!" Mona said, clearly holding back laughter.

"BOO! I hate Johnny Cage!" Brody came in just to say that, not dressed up at all other than a fake moustache and a sombrero. "I'm mexican, so it's white woman raping time!"

Brody took his pants off as the two women screamed in terror at his small weiner.

Johnny Cage comes into view and says "Relax girls, I'll take him on!"

We then cut to Johnny doing to Brody a whole hour of CBT. It is so horrific that I recommend just looking up the Wikipedia article for Cock and Ball Torture instead to get the jist.

After Johnny was done with what he was doing, he got some mad pussy as the two women took their clothes off and kissed him.

"I guess you can say he just got caged!"

We then cut to an advertisement that was basically him begging Hollywood to give him roles.

Everyone was left speechless again.

Cabby was the one to break the silence. "That was your script?! Johnny Cage, you are one sick man!"

"That was what he was doing? I thought it was kinda hot." Brody noted.

Mona was the one disgusted most by this. "Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing! My parents are gonna be so mad at me when I get home, and all because of you!"

Johnny didn't understand why everyone was mad at him. "What I'd do wrong? I was just making a commercial, and I thought it was pretty good."

"We'll see what the judge has to say about it." Chris tells him.

"Hmmm, I give it a 3/10! The set pieces were ok, but the script was as shallow as your average Gametoons episode, and as explicit as your average Cougar Macdowall Va comic dub!"

"Truer words have never been spoken." Guard Chris said. "Now excuse me as I'll go kill myself."

"Ooh, Chris, can I help?" Swag asked as he followed Guard Chris.

"No you retard, I want to go out on my own terms, not having my bussy posthumously touched by you!"

"God that video gave me depression, can we just end this shit now?!" Chris demanded. "Team Rose will probably do worse for suspense purposes but idgaf!"

Banban came into the stage (not like that). "Alright guys, get ready to view my magnum opus!"

We see Sanders and Dee Jay getting chased by Toby Queef and his van, with him dressed up in a KKK hood and a t-shirt that said "BLM is AIDS" on it to drive home the point. The video also has a random purple filter.

"GET OUTTA MAH COUNTRY BLACK PEOPLE!" Queef yelled.

We then cut to Banban who pulls out his android phone (which is better than IOS) and shows the app Garten OF Banban on Google Play. "Wanna know what can stop racism? Garten of Banban of course!"

He then opens the app and out of it comes out Jumbo Josh.

Jumbo Josh brah-The Indie Horror Icon (Garten Of Banban brah)

"I'm Jumbo Josh brah, from Indie Horror Garten of Banban brah!" Jumbo Josh from Indie Horror Garten Of Banban said before he grabbed Toby Queef's van, lightly touching it, which causes it to explode in shitty effects. "We solved racism brah! By using Indie Horror Garten Of Banban brah!"

"See? I'm Banban, and go play Garten of Banban right now! Available on PC and mobile for the low low price of a single pancreas!"

Banban's video got a clap from everyone.

"WOOOOOOOOOOO Baby!" Chris yelled. "That's what I've been waiting for, that's what it's all about, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I must say Banban, you've really outdone yourself here." Boba Fett admitted.

"Best fuckin' thing to happen to America since we butt fucked Iraq!" Toby Queef added.

"Thanks guys! I never thought I'd be able to do a good commercial, but turns out I did!" Banban happily remarked. "What's our score anyway?"

"Well, this was the greatest ad I have ever-wait, is that?" Yellow Face rewinded the footage and came to a startling realization. "A PURPLE FILTER?! BLASHPHEMY! DEBAUCHERY! NEGATIVE INFINITE OUT OF 10!"

"Wait what?" Banban asked.

"You idiot, didn't you remember Yellow Face hates the purple color with a burning passion?!" Plankton told Banban, knowing full well he caused this.

"Oh c'mon! I actually did good in a challenge and this is how you repay me?! Screw all of you!'

"Whatever. I'll just tell my lawyers to buy the rights to the Yoylecake commercial with 1 vigintillion dollars! BYE!" Yellow Face said before manually dying somehow.

"Well guys, I think we should at least be grateful we're starting to lose less challenges." Connor said.

"Yeah, and it's all thanks to Mr. Cheese!" Mr. Cheese egotistically said.

"Can you tone it down the ego for once?!" Sonic angrily told him.

"Wait, you don't like Mr. Cheese?!" Homer asked him enraged. "Screw you!"

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Confessional: Mr. Cheese

Mr. Cheese: Alright, Sonic's the second biggest target on my team besides Player, might take him out next time we're UFE (that means up for elimination for you normies).

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Team Rose had arrived at elimination once again.

"Wow little roses, you've had 3 losses in a row, how tragic." Chris told them.

"Maybe if we had less black people on our team we'd do better!" Toby Queef ranted, which made the black players on his team glare at him.

"You're actual pure evil." Sanders said.

"All I heard 'bout now is you stealin' my fried watermelon!"

"We've already had enough racist jokes for today, so other Chris, do what you do and get on with it."

"Fine. Bea & Nichelle ran off and didn't help their team out at all today."

"Ok, for once, I'll admit that was a mistake and that we'd probably have won if I was-nevermind, I-I was just being arrogant again." Nichelle tried to defend herself.

"Character Development." Banban randomly said.

"And Banban, you added a purple filter for no reason even when you knew Yellow Face hates that color."

"C'mon guys, you wouldn't vote me for that right?"

"Maybe we will, but that's to be decided in the voting booth." Amy told Banban.

"Now that's done voting, I'm gonna reveal 'em votes:"

"Dee Jay"

"Cream"

"Amy"

"Sanders"

"Bea"

"Boba Fett"

"And Nichelle."

Nichelle wiped her sweat from her head. "Phew, good that I'm still here."

Banban & Toby Queef were the last ones left, with the former shaking in fear and the latter indifferent.

"Banban."

Banban fell to his knees and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"You're safe with only 1 vote, so that means Toby Queef is eliminated with 8."

"Oh, cool." Banban said.

Toby Queef was voted. "You faggots voted for the Toby Queef?!"

Nichelle smirked. "Yeah we did, cuz you're a racist piece of shit!"

"Why I oughta blast ya!" Toby Queef lunged at her before Bea punched him in the face.

"...Shut up."

"T-Thanks Bea! That was so nice of you!"

"No need to thank me, just doing what was best."

"So they're cool now? Great, their arguing was always pretty annoying." Amy said.

We now cut to the dock, with Toby Queef being forcefully dragged by the guards.

"Any last words Queef?" Chris asked.

"Canada is gay and full of AIDS!"

"Thought so." Chris responded before the Fist Thingy of Despair hit Toby Queef and...didn't even manage to throw him to the sky, just the dock, with Queef's massive ass letting him float.

"Damn, can these people ever just go to the TLC of Shame?! Whatever. Since Toby Queef is gone for good, the racist jokes will be reduced to about 90% unfortunately. 9 people gone, 27 left to go. Find out who goes next on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Toby Queef kept floating until he hit something.

"Wha? Am I in heaven?! And please tell me they don't allow 'em Jews & Ayrabs in 'ere!"

"No, you are arive, and I am here to get you to herp me!" Said an asian guy.

We then pan to the boat, revealing it to be the asian guy from episode 6.

"DJ Not Nice? Haven't seen ya in a while, shouldn't you be makin' some fire mixtapes?"

"No. Ever since the totar drama contestants hit me in the ding dong, I have pranned to take my revenge from the shadows, and you wirr be my number #1 arry!"

"Well lookie here, sign me the fuck up!"

Toby Queef was always gonna be plain fodder, but the amount of characters I didn't know how to write spared him for a while, but now it's the end for his journey.

I made Johnny Cage racist towards mexicans because I literally couldn't find any other reason for him to hate Brody so much. Next time we'll have a double elimination as we reach a double digit number of episodes.

And one final thing.

Since I'm making a sequel in the near future, I've decided to reveal the newbies one by one. The first one will be someone you've already seen in a prior episode.

We cut to an evil looking lair where a bunch of crocodiles salute a familiar fat crocodile with a crown.

"Why hello there Total Drama producers! My name is King K. Rool, pronounced like Karule by the way, not Kay rule, the leader of the master species known as the Kremlings! Since your foolish contestants stole my precious Crystal Coconut, I've elected to enter this competition to take it back and crush whoever says otherwise!"

"Uh, boss, no offense, but telling them of your evil plans sounds kind of backwards."

"Backwards? THE ONLY THING THAT'S BACKWARDS IS YOUR INTELLIGENCE! NO ONE QUESTIONS MY OWN ORDERS BUT ME! Uh, anyway, put me onto your wretched show and my Kremlings will forever be indebted to you."

Chapter Text

We've somehow managed to reach our tenth episode, so I've officially finished the first third of the season! Kind of unfortunate Superstars hasn't exactly gotten far yet despite having half the cast, but I've got way too many good plans for that to cancel it.

I've also started to reveal the second season's newcomers, and since I'm so nice, I might as well reveal a few scrapped characters from that season:

Jacque Portsman (Ace Attorney) (would've been a first boot who would harass the cast later on)

Gex (Gex)

Catwoman (DC)

Elesa (Pokemon)

Skyla (Pokemon)

Pearl Fey (Ace Attorney)

Ruby (Battle For Dream Island)

Scott The Woz (guess who? brought in Superstars)

Nelly Raimon (Inazuma Eleven) (also in Superstars)

Toy Bonnie (FNAF)

Now pretty much all of these besides Catwoman and maybe Scott & Nelly would've been fodder so not much was really lost by removing them.

And now, the response to reviews:

Guest: The cast is 12 veterans, 17 newcomers and 5 additional characters from another story of mine.

HaplessGaming: Cool. By the way, how's your story coming along?

G-Man 2.0: To be fair, they only lost this time because Banban was an oblivious moron.

Now let's get it on with the episode!

"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness. The campers were forced to do labor work for our guest star Yellow Face by creating commercials. 1 was shitty, 1 was disgusting shit you'd find on AO3, and 1 was actually good but was given the worst score somehow. Toby Queef finally got out for not being woke enough for his teammates, but we failed to put him in the TLC of Shame so I guess he probably drowned in the Atlantic Ocean. Who will get out now? Find out here on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Episode 10: Bro, dying is gay

We were now in the TLC of Shame, where most of the eliminated contestants were, alongside Fries and EDP445 who were locked up by Chris for trespassing on his island.

Nightwing was trying to sneakily grab one of Fries' fries for him to eat, but the McDonalds box quickly slapped his hand and turned around to call him out.

"Don't touch my fries under any circumstance!" He demanded.

"But Fries, we've been starving for weeks! The only reason we're still alive is because we had to eat Cocoa Cookie's left arm!"

We then cut to Cocoa without her left arm. "Don't worry about this. A little surgery and I should be able to get an easy prosthetic replacement."

"I don't care! I'm DEAD without any of my fries, so you don't get anything okay?!"

"What, do you want me to end up like Monika?" Nightwing asked as he pointed to Monika, who became feral due to isolation and lack of food.

She had entirely green skin now, her hair was almost completely gone with just a few strands left, her clothes were full of holes, and her toenails grew so wide it destroyed her shoes. The only reason she didn't eat anyone there is that Wonder Woman prevented her from doing so by holding her up in the air for weeks.

"Hey guys, does anyone have any cupcakes?" EDP asked. "I'm starving."

"We all are EDP445, and you're probably the luckiest one here, since your big thicc body can probably let you survive for a few more days than us." Fries tells him.

"Hey! I ain't fat!" EDP445 delusionally denies.

"Can someone just kill me already?" Nightwing asked.

Jeffy was hitting his head on a tree near his team's cabin, for some reason.

Meanwhile, Ashley was casting some spells on the wildlife for practice.

A bear was lunging at her, but that didn't startle her at all.

"Turnintus Domesticatus Petus!" She muttered in latin as the bear suddenly completely changed demeanor. It now acted like a dog waiting to play fetch, and Ashley got it to run off by pretending to throw it a stick. "Yup, same stupid animals."

She then noticed Jeffy being a retard. "Jeffy, why in the world are you trying to give yourself brain damage?"

Her feminine voice caused the retard to stop hitting himself. "Oh hi Ashley, wanna see my pee-pee?"

"Uh, no."

"ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?!"

Ashley wasn't very pleased. "Yeah, I'm gonna go...somewhere, somewhere that I can't tell you because being mysterious is so much cooler than being straightforward."

"Damn right it is! See ya around, maybe we can do some diaper roleplays later!"

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: Jeffy is, to put it simply, a nightmare to be around for any woman. I've got to find a way to make him shut up, whether it be by spell or by a stern talking to.

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy: See that daddy? I got some skibidi rizz, and you don't! Gyatt the fuck out with that!

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Plankton had arranged a meeting with his two girls at the dock, where no one would ever go to because it's not like you can swim with your clothes on.

"Took you two long enough!" Plankton berated them. "I've wanted to have some alliance talk since yesterday, but you two were too busy playing dress up apparently."

Rottytops yawned. "Hey, not my fault that fashionista tried to literally white wash me! Shoulda seen how I looked with all that ugly face paint, ooh, I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemies."

"I'm terribly sorry for that inconvenience Plankton, I promise I'll never be late again!" Cordelia said.

"Good. Now, let's talk about our team's main source of conflict: Johnny Cage."

"If you want my opinion sir, I believe we should vote for him the next time we lose. He holds no shame in his antics towards Brody, and I'm afraid things will escalate the longer he stays." Cordelia explains.

"And that's exactly why we're going to use that conflict to get Brody out!" Plankton declares.

"What?" Cordelia asks.

"I'm with you there sis, why's the dumb guy our target now?"

"Someone like him may be an idiot, but he's also likeable and decently helpful, a perfect recipe for an underdog."

"Oh, now we're talkin'!" Rottytops says.

"Good to see someone's listening to me. Since I doubt the rest of our team would ever vote for him, I suggest we make the situation around them a little violent."

Cordelia started to sweat. "W-Wait, you want to injure Brody?! That's awful! You can't just do that!"

"Hey, it's just a game sweetie, plus, I'd be quite fun to do that." Rottytops admitted.

"I...I need to go somewhere else if you'll excuse me."

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: I didn't expect for one of my allies to seriously even consider actual violence to advance in the game. I just hope they don't go through with that idea.

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When Cordelia and Rottytops went off on their own, Banban & Boba Fett had arrived to talk to him.

"So Plankton, why were you talking to those two?" Boba Fett asked him.

"Oh them? They're my alliance members from my team."

"Alliance? You didn't tell me that."

"So what? I doubt you and Banban would care about it." Plankton said as he saw that Banban was just staring. "Banban?"

Banban still kept staring, until he a tear came out of his eyes. "You...replaced us?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Can you keep it down? I'm going, can't stand him." Plankton declared as he got out.

Banban was still crying. "Banvan, please stop. Banban!" Boba Fett said.

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Confessioxnal: Banban

Banban was crying again.

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: I hope Banban can stop it with the sobbing, both for his mental state, and honestly mine too.

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Dee Jay & Sanders were getting out of the cabin due to how annoying Banban's cries were.

"No idea what could be troubling him so much mon." Dee Jay said.

"Banban always seems to live in his own little world to be honest. Always having something strange to say."

"Hey, so long as he doesn't harm anyone, I'll say he's alright."

"Sure." Sanders said before realizing something. "Hey, have you ever noticed that, whatever channel we watch on the TV in Toby Queef's van, Total Drama is never on the schedule? Considering how fast they edit these episodes for broadcast, you'd think they'd be somewhere on the cable channels?"

"Maybe they just gave the rights to a streaming service? Happens all the time."

"...Ok, you're probably right."

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Confessional: Sanders

Sanders: Something still feels a little fishy, but I'll lay it off for now.

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At Team Cocoa Connor gathered everyone for a special announcement.

"Everyone, I've come to make an announcement. We need an air conditioner!"

Everyone was confused.

"Wh-Why would you want an air conditioner Connor?" Player asked. "We've got an entire island worth of fresh air."

Pillow then swallows some air and throws up. "Are you sure about that? Wait, that's probably just Homer's farts again!"

"R-Regardless of that, when global warming comes to Wawanakwa, we need to prepare ourselves for it!" Connor explained.

"Bro, climate change won't affect us that directly until like a few decades or even centuries. People are worried about it mostly for the distant future, not the next couple months." Mr. Cheese said.

"You guys do realize that by downplaying what's happening to the whole world, it's gonna get crappier right?" Sonic explained.

"Can we just talk about something else please? Connor's stupid, who cares about him?" Mr. Cheese says.

"Isn't that a little mean Mr. Cheese? Connor isn't doing any harm towards others." Player defended him.

"Gasp! A different opinion than the supreme Mr. Cheese's?! That's an outrage! Team, attack!"

Homer made a battle cry that sounded more like he was getting pleasured in bed and then punched Player in the face.

He was then stomped by Mr. Cheese, Homer, Pillow & Ash.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow!" He yelled in pain.

"Wow, and here I thought Eggman had a more fragile ego." Sonic said as Player was getting beat up.

After they were done, Player was on the ground, trampled beyond belief.

"Alright guys, let's go!" Mr. Cheese commanded, which got the rest of his team to exit the cabin.

All except Connor, who sat on his bad and casually talked to the injured Player.

"You know, you and me have a little more in common than you realize. We're both losers. No one ever listens to our ideas. No one takes us seriously. Difference is that while I learned to live with it, you haven't, as far as I'm aware."

"Don't even try comparing us Connor." Player replied. "Your ideas are completely nonsensical most of the time, and you just seem completely out of touch with the real world."

Connor didn't think much of what he said, and just continued chatting. "If you say so. But I'm just gonna remind you that I'm one of the few people on the team who hasn't treated you like garbage."

"...I suppose you're right on that. Are you trying to entice me to an alliance or something?"

"What? No, just wanted to chat is all. I'd prefer to not side with anyone here, and I doubt most of them would appreciate it." Connor explained.

"Oh. Sorry that I misinterpreted what you were saying man."

"Don't care."

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Confessional: Player

Player: Pretty sure that by this point, Sonic & Connor are the only people on my team who actually like me. Maybe also LSP but she has basically no screentime so I dunno.

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor: My life is sadder than Kanye West's last concert.

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We now cut Family Guy style to a Kanye West concert.

"What's up guys? It's Ye, 'bout to cover a song made by my favorite person in the world." Kanye West said before he started to rap.

"I am Adolf Hitler: Commander of the Third Reich!

Little known fact: also dope on ze mic!

You are Vader, vith your little boots and cape,

And helmet to cover up that burnt-ass face!

You have the force to move objects; I am a force truly evil!

Even went back in time and turned you vack in the prequel,

'Cause look at you! You're not even a real person!

I preferred you in Spaceballs: ze Rick Moranis version!"

Mona wasn't feeling too well from what happened yesterday. Watching some dude get CBT'd isn't exactly a trauma free experience. She was staying in her bed, pretending to sleep.

Cabby came into the cabin to see her.

"Mona, is there something troubling you? Since you certainly don't seem fine."

Mona came out of her blanket, clearly tired. "I mean, I just...I haven't been feeling all that well for a while. First there was that really racist challenge, totally bonkers the producers allowed that! Then some guy yelled at me for no good reason and made me look like a crybaby, then the truth challenge, which while it wasn't particularly bad for me, I still couldn't stand how much everyone was utterly embarrassed. And finally, Johnny's started to treat poor Brody like he's some kind of animal, when in reality he's the nicest guy here!" She explained as she slightly teared up.

Cabby was taking noted this whole time, and paused to talk to her. "I see. Judging by the way you talk, you seem pretty overwhelmed by Total Drama. That's not exactly a bad thing, you're not "weak", you're just an average girl who can't handle such harsh situations."

"Oh, then, thanks Cabs! Good to see someone's listening to me!" Mona responded, now a little more happy than before.

"No worries there Mona. You can always talk to me if you've got any trouble."

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: It always feels good when I end up using my files to help others, makes me feel validated. It also works to improve my social game, but that's secondary to the actual bonds I want to make here.

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Bea was training as usual in the woods. She was beating into a dead tree, and managed to take it down with just a few kicks.

She then stood on that fallen tree's stump to rest. She was then approached by Nichelle, who seemed pretty happy to see her.

"Hey Bea! Now, if you don't mind, can you, uh, train me? I don't really care that much about becoming better than you anymore, but I still want to prove myself somehow!"

Bea let out a slight chuckle at how desperate she seemed to act. "...Haven't gotten used to being nice to others, have you?"

Which didn't exactly please her. "A-ARE you mocking me?!"

"Calm down. I was only kidding of course. Where do we start at?"

Nichelle was surprised to hear her old rival be so willing to help her. "Really? This is fast. One day we hate our guts and then the other we're all buddy buddy."

"You apologized. I accepted that apology. Something wrong with that?"

"Uh, nooo. Let's train here! I'd be great!"

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: First time in a while that I'm not full of myself or wallowing in self pity, all thanks to that Bea. Honestly, I mostly did this as an opportunity to get closer to her, since she's cool and all.

Nichelle's cheeks blushed.

Nichelle: N-Not because I like like her or anything, no! Even if she's got some fine abdomen, a-and a handsome face-Oh my god! I've fallen in love with Bea!

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Amy had managed to track down Sonic, who was running around across the island beach, carefree. She had a little gift in her back to give him a warm surprise.

"Oh Sonic! Your future spouse is here!" She yelled at him as he was running and he stopped.

"Sup' Amy, just going through my daily walk. Hey, you've got something pretty spicy!"

"Yes, yes I do. Wanna take a lil peak under my dre-"

"What? No, that's disgusting. I just smelled some good ol' chili dogs in the back!"

Amy freezes in shock to his comment, dropping the now revealed chili dogs she was holding, before Sonic used his super speed to grab them just before they hit the ground.

"Thanks a lot. I miss shoving these in my mouth!" Sonic said whilst eating. "Smell ya later!" He said as he left the beach.

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Confessional: Amy Rose

Amy: Curse that McLean for putting us on different teams! That and all the torture he puts us through, which is objectively worse than that, but this is personal okay?!

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Confessional: Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonic was finishing his chili dogs.

Sonic: Y'know, maybe women do belong in the kitchen!

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The whole ass cast went over to the challenge area and were of course awaited by Chris.

"How does everyone feel about having decent screentime for once?" He mockingly asked. "Only took Banban being a crybaby bitch to not have him hog the spotlight."

Banban was still crying over the whole "replacing" drama he made up in his mind, so Chris' assessment was 100% right.

"Tell us what the challenge is dipshit. I'm going to watch a Trump rally in a few hours so I can't waste my time like this!" Johnny complained.

"Alright alright Mr. mexican hater. Today's challenge is going up a bunch of stairs."

Absolutely no one was impress-

"Oh my god! That must be the most diabolical challenge you've ever come up with!" Said Homer the retard.

"I'm dying inside." Player casually muttered.

"Knowing him, it's probably like 300 stairs." Sonic snarked.

"Close enough. It's 1500 stairs!"

Ok, now everyone gasps at that.

"Hey pals, at least I can maybe lose some weight climbing all that!" Gumshoe exclaims in his usual childish optimism.

"Can you stop fatshaming plus sized people?!" Leafy complained.

"KYS fat activist!" Jeffy then fired back.

"All this edgy nonsense reminds me of that Guy Fawkes VS Joker rap battle." Dee Jay said.

We now cut to Guy Fawkes & Joker, who were having a rap battle.

Warning: skip this part if you don't want to read a bunch of edgy shit copy pasted from a decade old rap battle.

"En garde! Here I come, ripping your head off! With your face full of cum, nothing to be scared of! You're just a pathetic, depressed little clown, who cannot remember how he drowned! I'm the symbol of liberty, your life's a buffoonery. Mine's a destiny, I gathered an online army! I brought anarchy, you ended up in jail! Let's put a smile on that face that just got raped!" Guy Fawkes said.

"Woo hoo hoo, and here we go! You little bastard, no one even remembers your name! Now you're just a mask, not even an idea! Every fifteen years old put it on for something lame! Man, seriously, you're famous because you failed! It's like your whole life turned out to be a complete waste! This is what happens when a mad dog chases a fucking asshole! Bend your burnt body, body and suck my balls! Guy Fawkes? He's gay folks, Rhyming with his small talks! He hide his face, don't wanna tease, Because of bad herpes! In a way you may complete me, I never defeated Batman, you never banged Portman!" Joker said.

"Don't make me laugh, you freaky emo queer, I'm the bad Guy! I destroyed the government while you tried to make a bat cry! You think you're tough with your scars and your fancy make up? I'll beat you rough, I'm tough, no jokes, you better give up! I'm violently violating your vagina, voraciously and viciously, Vanquishing the virulent vermin with a vendetta! I'm very sorry but I'm not kidding! You better be crying!" Guy Fawkes said.

"Jeez, don't be a jerk, Jesus! You're just jealous! I'm the genuine genius joking as a jeering Anonymous! You freak, wanna see a magic trick? Here is your ass and here's my dick! Why so serious while I'm raping your anus? Feel the fear in your stomach, well it's just my penis! You little slut, call yourself V for victim! Get over here and let my knife have a deep talk with your rectum!" Joker said.

"Don't remind me of that." Sanders told him. "That video scarred my niece for life."

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: Sheesh. that is absolutely not something kids should be able to watch! Or this show in fact.

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"Fuck off with the cutaways man, Family Guy sucks!" Chris said his opinion on Family Guy. Daring today, aren't we? "Interns! Bring in the bigass staircase!"

We then see Swag & Guard Chris somehow bringing in with 2 small helicopters 3 large staircases that each had 5 points with no stairs.

"Holy crap. That's the largest thing I've seen!" Mona noted.

"Nah, my pee pee is still bigger than this! And pointier too!" Jeffy said, to the horrors of everyone, myself included.

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Confessional: Ashley

Ashley: Psychologically breaking down this pervert is gonna be much harder than it normally is.

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"The kid reminds me of my ex wife in a bikini, cuz he disgusts me." Chris said. "Anyway, here's how the challenge works: you get chosen at random to climb up that shitton of stairs until you get to a checkpoint of sorts. Then the next one on the team climbs up even more stairs to the next checkpoint. Rinse and repeat until you get to the top before the rest. 5 people are sent out, and the last team to get to the top loses, and, since we've not had one in a while, and we've still got a ton of dudes left, the losers will eliminate TWO people cuz FUCK YOU!" Chris finished his explanation before giving the middle finger.

"Double elimination? Great." Plankton remarked. "Now we've gotta be EXTRA good this challenge if we wanna win!"

"Since the other 2 teams have 8 members each, they're likely to target us in particular, as we have 3 extra." Cabby points out. "So we should be careful.

"Bitch you think anyone who isn't a villain has any strategy? Besides Heather, Courtney, Alejandro, Scott, Scarlett, Bowie, MK, Julia, Nom Nom, DIO, Cinder, Dr. Coyle, Light Yagami, Rick Sanchez, Tenpenny, Starscream, Alastor, Darla & Katz, literally every other contestant in every other season seems to think just being nice to people is the only possible strat to win the game." Chris told her.

"Who the hell are most of these people?" Brody asked.

"A lot are from crossover seasons from other universes. Or at least where the authors actually completed their work. But whatever, I'm going to pick a name from a hat on who will run."

Chris then pulls out some names. "For Team Cocoa, they have Sonic, LSP, Player, Mr. Cheese & Connor. For Rose, it's Bea, Nichelle, Dee Jay, Sanders & Banban. And for Pee Pee, you got Jeffy, Rottytops, Gumshoe, Johnny Cage & Brody. All in that exact order."

"Seriously? We could've saved Sonic for last for an easy win, but instead we get stupid old Connor for that." Mr. Cheese said.

"Hey! I'm not useless." Connor countered.

"Connor, I like you and all but the only time you've ever done good in a challenge was due to a dumb loophole." Player pointed out.

"I, um, just forget it."

Quickly enough, Sonic, Bea & Jeffy were ready to start racing.

"Now before we begin." Chris began. "I'd like to say something about the viewers: go write actual reviews, no "wow this is good, keep it up!" if this is all you'll write, then you clearly have nothing to say. Be honest about what you think, go in-depth, even if you absolutely hate this story with a passion. Don't bother with it if you don't have anything to say."

The cast was confused by what Chris said, as if he was possessed by a higher being as a mouthpiece for a problem they didn't know jack shit about.

"Ok." Said everyone.

After that random scene, Chris was now going to finally start the challenge.

"Ready, set, GO!"

Before the other two could even begin to run, Sonic instantly climbed all those stairs and reached his checkpoint in a second.

"That was easy!" He proclaimed.

"So I guess Team Cocoa's got a head start already. Though considering the rest of their members, I doubt it's going to last!" Chris quipped as he chuckled at the thought of Team Cocoa losing.

"Psst, LSP, it's time for you to race okay? Get us to win." Player tells LSP who is staring at her phone once again.

"Wait, oh, yeah, like right. I'll go." She said with UZZING excitement as she slowly floated towards the next checkpoint.

Meanwhile, Jeffy & Bea actually started to run.

"If I get there before you, your choco feet are gonna give me a good footjob on the pee pee okay?" Jeffy told his opponent, who sneered in his direction and ran even faster, quickly outpacing him.

"Fuck!" He said disappointingly.

Jeffy tried to run with Bea, but the fighter managed to get to the checkpoint first.

"And so Bea gets to the first checkpoint for Team Rose! Next up is Nichelle!" Chris declares.

Nichelle got to the stair and began the long walk, notably less confident than usual.

"Uh, wish me luck guys!" She yelled at her teammates before sprinting up.

"Gee, that's pretty unheard of her to not be an overconfident bragger!" Amy noted.

"Suppose her talk with Bea yesterday really did make her think mon." Dee Jay said. "Let's hope she keeps it up, or else her butt's gone ASAP."

We now focus back on the competitors and see that LSP's outpaced Jeffy, who was at the first checkpoint, which caused him to get a little angry.

"God fucking dammit! Couldn't I at least been beaten by a 11/10 chocolate waifu instead of a 2/10 fatass bitch?!"

LSP didn't react at all to the retard's rant, and just moved on.

"Jeffy's reached his checkpoint guys! Go Rotty go!" Mona proclaims.

"Alrighty then, watch and learn!" Rottytops declared as she detached her legs from her body and ran real fast with 'em. "Yo Chris, does this count?"

Chris shrugged. "I suppose so. I don't give a shit honestly, this season is whackier than the time Yanderedev groomed a minor online."

We cut to a terminally online game developer known as Yanderedev who is coding his game Yandere Simulator. He's in the midst of adding a worthless new feature that no one wanted instead of making actual progress, but is stopped by a notification on his phone.

"Hey" said a DM from Snapchat.

He then proceeded to groom that minor for the rest of the day because he's a fucking narcissistic pedophile.

Then, right before he goes to sleep, he sings a song:

"Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

(Whoa-ho)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(Optimus Prime)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(I groomed a minor)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(I groomed a minor)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(I groomed a minor)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(I groomed a minor)

[Verse]
If you're alone and you are sixteen
Come in my room, in my country it's legal
I cannot have a grown woman
I'm grooming kiddies tonight

[Refrain]
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(That's what my baby said)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(Coochie coochie coo means that)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
(Big Chungus- I don't know)
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

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Genius English Translations

[Chorus]
Groom, groom, groom, groom
I want you in my room
But only if you're sixteen
Can't have you if you're eighteen
Groom, groom, groom, groom
I want you in my room
But only if you're sixteen
Can't have you if you're eighteen"

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: Ok, also partly because I did not want that pervert Jeffy anywhere near my body! I like teasing dumb guys and all, but he's just repulsive!

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LSP got to the second checkpoint way before the other two and let out a monotone "Yay!" to celebrate.

"Guess that means Player's up next for the cocoas!" Chris declared, which caused some of Player's teammates to groan.

"BOOOOOOOO!" Homer in particular yelped.

"Loser." Mr. Cheese said.

"I don't have any original witty insults." Pillow blurts out.

"At this point I'm barely affected by the bullying. I'm off, screw you guys."

Nichelle was right at the first checkpoint with Bea there.

"Alright, halfway through!" She yelped whilst sweating profusely under all the running, until she slipped. "Whoa!"

She felt the fall for barely a second due to Bea grabbing her hand and getting her back up.

"Phew, t-thanks, I guess?" Nichelle said to her savior as she blushed a little then turned her head around for Bea to not see it.

"No need to thank me. Just move on with the challenge."

"Okay." Nichelle said as she continued on with her climb. "Don't forget about our training sweetie!"

"S-Sweetie?"

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle crossed her arms.

Nichelle: Stupid idiot! What did mommy and daddy teach ya about not getting it on with girls?! I so hope that comment doesn't make it on air.

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Rottytops' legs were walking on their own and had no trouble at all, reaching the first checkpoint quickly.

Jeffy tried to flirt once again. "Oh hey there! Would you be interested if you gave me a footjo-" He then got kicked in the ding dong by Rottytops's boots. "My pee pee hurts." He nonchalantly stated.

Player had passed the first checkpoint with Sonic and was in the bottom. "C'mon Player, you've gotta win this one for the team!" He declared to himself.

Nichelle reached the second checkpoint first. "Booyah! Alright guys, get movin'!"

Team Rose heard her from afar and Dee Jay stepped in. "My turn mon, lemme show ya some of my sick moves!"

He proceeded to do a moonwalk over the stairs no biggie. It was a great sight to behold.

"Wow, that looks so cool! Dee Jay doesn't lie when he says he's got moves!" Amy said, totally amazed by Dee Jay's dance.

Meanwhile, Boba Fett was trying to reason with Banban, who was crying, or at least trying to, because his tears dried up.

"Come on Banban, you'll be up eventually, so calm down so we can win the challenge and not get yourself voted off."

Banban couldn't cry tears anymore, so he opted to put sparkling water he got from the kitchen in his eyes as an alternative. "Plankton betrayed us Bob! He never cared about us!"

"Took you long enough to realize. Look, if we want to not get targeted, we shouldn't let our team lose, especially if they could potentially blame us for their loss, so help out or you're out."

"Hmmm, I'll think about it."

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: Banban has been tasting my patience for a while, if he gets himself into trouble, I won't bother trying to save him.

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Rottytops felt her legs touch the second checkpoint's floor and realized she made it.

"Yes yes YES! GOT'EM!" She happily exclaimed on the ground with no legs.

"Ok, so I guess that means she made it. Detective Gumshoe, it's your turn." Cordelia said.

"Got that pal! Time to go!" Gumshoe claimed as he went up the staircase and immediately tripped and fell back onto the ground.

"Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark." Cabby cringed at Gumshoe's epic fail.

"Or a broken neck." Ashley added.

Back at the staircase, Player was able to actually reach the third checkpoint, but was also extremely sweaty to the point where he could barely walk and collapsed.

Dee Jay then arrived almost instantly to his team's checkpoint. "Ok, we've caught up with the other team mon!"

"Mr. Cheese, Sanders, you two are up." Chris said.

"Alrighty then cheesy boys, I'm 'bout to show you how cool I am!" Mr. Cheese bragged as he ran fast.

Both of them ran at the same speed and started to pass up Gumshoe.

"What? Come on, I can't lose this!"

So he started to run faster, but even then he was still slower than the two.

On the ground Homer & Connor were talking.

"Man my family's such a drag sometimes! My son is a trouble maker, daughter's an SJW, the baby still hasn't learned to walk over 30 years later, and my wife-actually my wife's got some nice titties so she's ok!" Homer said to Connor.

"At least yours probably loves you. I've been ignored by mine for most of my life, so much so I've simply learned to not care about being loved."

"I dunno. Sounds pretty cool, cuz then you'd have no responsibilities!"

"I mean, I do still have some, like running for president, or or -ughhhhhhh, actually, just forget it."

"And Mr. Cheese & Gumshoe have reached their respective checkpoints!" Chris declared.

"What? Already? Crap, I gotta go!" Connor said as he tried to run on the stairs, keyword being try, as he was slow as a snail.

We then cut to the stairs again and see Sanders reached the fourth checkpoint.

"And Sanders made it as well! Banban is up for the Roses!"

Boba Fett heard that and was concerned at the still sad Banban losing them the challenge.

"Banban, come on! We'll lose if you don't step up." He told him.

"What's the point? I already lost everything I cared about!"

"Not everything. Think about it: if you get eliminated so early, you won't be the funniest character of the season, right? And that is exactly what you want, to be funny, so do this."

"You're...YOU'RE RIGHT! I CAN'T BE THE FUNNIEST GUY HERE IF I'M NOT HERE! I've got a plan that'll make us win for sure! Just wait for me okay?" Banban proudly declared and left.

"Ok, still not sure if we're going to win or not.

Johnny quickly reached the fourth checkpoint before Connor & Banban even got to the first one.

"Ah, fuck, I'm so tired!" He said as he arrived.

"Ok, now it's down to Connor on Team Cocoa, Banban on Team Rose and Brody on Team Pee Pee!" Chris said. "Whoever places last will get their team to lose 2 members, so this is gonna be interesting!"

Connor was panting, barely able to run as his heart started to give in, and he was barely at checkpoint 2!

Brody was running just fine actually, already at the top compared to the other 2.

And Banban just came back to start.

"How in the world are we going to win if you haven't even started?" Amy asked him.

"Don't worry guys, I ate a bunch of burritos so we should-"

Banban farted a little.

"Ooooh, I can just feel the heat in my rectum right now!"

"What-What the heck Banban?!"

Banban then let out a massive fart that launched him right into the top.

The teammates who were at the checkpoints smelled his fart and were all disgusted, letting out "Ughs" and "Ewws" and coughing.

Banban nearly fell off the final checkpoint but was barely able to hang on and get up.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAH BABY, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, WOOOOOOOOOO!" He celebrated.

"Banban took a page out of Ripper's butt and farted his way to victory! Which is fine by me, since I have an open fart fetish! So Team Cocoa's probably losing, since Connor is as slow as a snail."

"I heard that one Chris! Have some respect for your seniors!" Connor yelled at him as he reached the third checkpoint whilst Brody was nearly at the end.

Plankton went over to tell something to Johnny from below. "Hey Johnny, listen to me!"

Johnny had nothing to do so he replied. "What?"

"Brody is about to reach your checkpoint, you should do something about it to stop him! If you do this, I'll vote him off okay?"

"Woooo! That's fine by me."

Brody got to the fourth checkpoint with little issue and greeted Johnny. "Hey man, how you doing?

"Shut the fuck up spic. Just move on with it if we want to win!"

"F-Fine."

As Brody walked to the fifth checkpoint, Johnny pushed him off the staircase and got him to collapse to the ground.

"BRODY!" The whole of team pee pee went out of concern for him, Plankton included.

Johnny however, didn't care, if anything he felt great potentially causing him great harm.

"Jesus! I didn't expect for it to get that violent!" Chris said.

The members of his team rushed to Brody's aid(s), with him making a human shaped hole in the ground.

Everyone else just stared in confusion.

Cabby took Brody's out of the hole, and the results were not pretty.

"Br-Brody, n-no!" Mona yelped, tears starting to form in her eyes alongside the others besides Rottytops.

It didn't take a genius to see how severe his condition was. It looked like he broke every bone in his body, blood was everywhere, his skin was partially ripped off, and his neck was broken.

Cabby tearfully checked his pulse. "He he he's a-alive, if you can even call it that. He seems to be completely paralyzed for life! Poor poor Brody!"

Johnny had gotten out of the staircase with a smirk on his face. "Hah, look at this guy! Serves him right for screwing with the cage!"

He was then quickly slapped in the face by Mona, who looked uncharacteristically angry. "YOU! You monster! You killed him! You killed someone, how can you be so cruel?!"

"She's right you know. You should feel ashamed of yourself!" Cabby added.

"Yeah! I've never seen someone as violent and horrible!" Gumshoe yelled. "You deserve prison time!"

"EXACTLY! YOU'RE A GIANT PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU, FUCK CHRIS, FUCK THIS GAME!" Mona yelled at the top of her damn lungs.

"M-Mona? Are you ok?" Cabby asks, greatly concerned about her friend.

"It-It's-I'm fine! I-I'll just go, I feel like shit."

Mona left the team to their own devices.

"Johnny, in the kindest of terms, fuck you." Plankton said.

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: I expected Johnny to beat Brody up a little, but I didn't expect this! I'm evil and all, but I'm not heartless! ...After we got rid of Brody, we're going to vote Johnny off right afterwards, we can't let him stay here for longer!

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Confessional: Cordelia

Cordelia: I hope, hope, HOPE Plankton's not behind all of this, if he was, I'll skewer him right with my lance!

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: Am I the only one here who doesn't care much about Brody? Guy was the definition of basic bitch, so I won't miss him.

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: Johnny was super mean this episode! I'm removing him from my Discord friendlist FOREVER!

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Confessional: Mona

Mona: I'm just...pissed the fuck off right now! I wanted to be on this show for fun and to get a nice boyfriend, and now we just have people dying left and right! I can't fucking do this, I just can't!

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Confessional: Jeffy

Jeffy: Johnny Cage can suck my pee pee! Actually no, my pee pee is too good for him, I want him to get some AIDS!

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We now cut to the elimination ceremony at night, all the 11 members of Team Pee Pee, Brody's fate worse than death body included, were attending it and were all staring at Johnny. Team Rose was also there to watch, for some reason.

Chris was happy to finally have Team Pee Pee go up for elimination again. "Since you guys had Brody be braindead before he reached the top of the staircase, you lost. Now you're going to lose 2 members in 1 ceremony, and you'll also be watched by the winners of today's challenge!"

"Fuck Cordelia! She and Rottytops are ripoffs of me and Boba Fett cuz we have the same colors!" Banban complained.

"You've talked about them for hours. Can you stop?" Boba Fett asked him.

"Yeah, super annoying and we don't even have a clue why you're even beefing with them." Sanders added.

"Whatever, might as well give reasons, Do the honors inferior Chris."

"Fine asshole. Johnny, you're a real piece of work."

"Why do any of you give so much shit about that retarded mexican? I honestly did you guys a favor getting rid of him."

"HE WAS A PERSON!" Yelled Mona. "But move on."

"Brody, he is braindead, what more can I say?"

"Honestly, since we all know it's those two, just vote literally right here, I'm tired as fuck from all this nonsense."

Everyone was about to point their fingers at Johnny before Plankton stopped them. "Guys, guys, let's vote Brody first, okay? I don't want to see him like that for even a few extra seconds."

"I suppose that's true." Cordelia said. "Goodbye Brody."

"Goodbye Brody."

"Goodbye Brody."

"Rest In Piss Brody."

That last one earned Jeffy a slap from Leafy, which is a rare win for her.

"I suppose Brody's gone. Oh well, maybe they can eat his body in the TLC of Shame!" Chris joked which got him a few cold glares from the team.

The Fist Thingy of Despair threw Brody's body into the TLC as everyone felt emotionally exhausted.

"And now we can vote off that good for nothing Johnny." Gumshoe said.

"No U won't! Cuz Team Rose will instead!" Chris suddenly declared to everyone.

"Seriously? Why?!" Cabby asked passive aggressively.

"Because it's super predictable who will get out otherwise." Chris explained.

"Well I suppose we should just vote off John-" Amy was about to say before she got cut off by Banban.

"CORDELIA! THAT BITCH TOOK MY SPOT IN PLANKTON'S ALLIANCE! SHE AND THE ZOMBIE WHORE SEDUCED HIM AND MANIPULATED HIM TO BACKSTAB ME & BOBA FETT!"

"What the fuck?!" Dee Jay asked in disbelief. "Plankton has an alliance?!"

"YES! ME AND BOBA FETT WERE ALLIED WITH HIM SINCE THE FOURTH EPISODE, WE WERE GOING TO GO THE END BUT NO, THOSE SLUTS JUST HAD TO FUCK US IN THE ASS BOTH FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY!"

"Banban, what are you doing?! You're exposing our alliance!" Boba Fett tells him.

"So it seems you do have an alliance Plankton?" Cabby states.

"And I didn't even know we had other members!" Rottytops says.

Cordelia tried to defuse the situation to no avail. "Everyone, we need to calm down, let's just talk it out like normal adults!"

"You're an adult? All anime girls look like they're 15 or younger!" Jeffy said.

"And I didn't even replace those two, the color scheme thing is a total coincidence!" Plankton explained.

"VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA! VOTE CORDELIA!"

"God, we get it mon! Let's just vote off Cordelia to get him to calm down with his meltdown!" Dee Jay said.

"Cordelia."

"Cordelia."

"Cordelia unfortunately."

"COR-FUCKING-DELIA!"

"I guess Cordelia is out for some reason." Chris said. "Go to the TLC of Shame bitch."

"What? What did I do wrong?" Cordelia wondered out loud, confused why the hell she got voted off.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN STEALING WHORE! SERVES YOU RIGHT!"

"Honestly I don't even care, just please get me out of this autistic manchild's sight."

Cordelia was instantly hit by the Fist Thingy of Despair.

"Hah! You can't beat the Cage assholes!" Johnny bragged.

"About that. Swag, do your thing." Chris ordered.

"Suck on deez nuts in hell bro!" Swag said before shooting Johnny dead with a gun.

"That is more fucked up than the time Vaush fucked a horse." Jeffy said.

We cut to Vaush-

NO

NO

NO

NO!

I AM NOT DOING THAT!

I KNOW THIS IS ALREADY EDGY JUVENILE SHIT BUT THIS IS TOO FAR!

NO MORE SHITTY CUTAWAY GAGS FROM NOW ON!

"Since Johnny was heavily derailed by the author, we will bring in a more in-character Johnny Cage from an alternate univese next day, and you will all make sure to never mentioned this happened again, ok?"

The whole team nodded.

"Now that Plankton's alliance has been exposed, how would the cast react? Will Mona ever be her cheery self again? And will the next challenge actually be good? Find out next time on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!

Dj Not Nice & Toby Queef arrived back on Camp Wawanakwa.

"You sure those faggots won't see us?" Queef asked.

"I am as sure as my father was that we'd win in Vietnam!"

"But aren't you Chinese?"

"Same thing!"

"Ok."

So yeah, I basically sacrificed any potential Cordelia had for the sake of a joke elimination, what a hack I am.

And yes, Johnny will be written completely differently next chapter, don't you worry.

Both of the eliminated characters I gave plotlines a few episodes before their eliminations so they weren't gonna end up as filler, even if I did a terrible job with Brody's to be honest.

And finally, time for the next sequel newbie contestant reveal:

A white guy with sunglasses and a scissors neckchain greeted the camera.

"WASSUP?! It's PolitikZ here, the white boy who's saving hip-hop!" His voice was as grating as possible.

"Yo check out mah mixtape!" He said before we cut to a shitty music video.

"Aha, ayo

Who would've thought that a white boy would bring hip hop back?
Yo, I do it for the real hip hop, you know what I'm sayin'?
Fuck Drake, real hip hop

I'm a spiritual lyrical individual
Spiritual miracle lyrical individual
Spiritual miracle individual
Skippin' and flippin' and dippin'
And skippin' and flippin' and dippin'
The illest, the killest, the skill of the willest
I'm the realest, I'm the realest
I'm bringin' real hip hop back, don't you ever forget it
Fuck Lil Wayne and the government's corrupt
Fuck the government 'cause I don't give a fuck
I'm the realest in the game 'cause I'm underground
And fuck that mainstream shit 'cause I don't give a fuck
I'm a spiritual lyrical miracle
Lyrical spiritual illest of miracle lyricals
Flippin' and dippin' and skippin'

Real hip hop, don't you ever forget it
It's that underground shit, it's the white boy that said it
Real hip hop, don't you ever forget it
It's that underground shit and it's the white boy that—"

PolitikZ-The Realest Of The Realest (The Filthy Frank Show)

Chapter Text

We back boyz for another chapter.

OG_Plush: Total coincidence.

Luckyhill: Yeah, he didn't deserve it at all.

HaplessGaming: Cool.

Episode 11: Disfunctional Camp

"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness!

We had a super boring challenge where people climbed some fuckin' stairs and nothing else!

Ok, maybe not nothing else, as we did have Johnny fuck Brody up so bad the guy is pretty much braindead now! Then we also murdered Johnny right afterwards and replaced him with a duplicate; hopefully no one ever talks about that ever!

We also had Banban do a retarded move by getting out one of Plankton's allies and then also revealing the whole alliance to everyone for no reason!

We're down with a third of the season, which is more than I can say for most other stories!

Will we get cancelled here, or will we go on? Find out now on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

We start the episode with a little discussion around the island.

During the middle of the night, Cabby gathers around Gumshoe, Ashley & Leafy near their cabin for some talk.

"Gosh, can you let us sleep for a sec Cabs?" Leafy groaned before realizing how rude that sounded. "I-I mean, HEY CABBY, WHAT DO YA WANNA TALK ABOUT?!"

"Keep the volume up and you might sound more like an actual woman." Ashley remarked.

"Now everyone, I've gathered you guys here for one reason, and that one is about what we've learned today about Plankton's alliance."

"What's so bad about that? I made an alliance with Pin back in BFDI, and that wasn't mean enough for the viewers to vote me out!" Leafy said.

Cabby elected to ignore her words. "Anyways, since we already know that there's at least 1 alliance at play, and an inter-team one at that, I say we stop slacking off in terms of gameplay and actually start playing it by forming our own. If we do so, we'll be much closer to winning the billion dollar prize than ever before!"

"Sounds good to me pal. I've learned enough about war to know that an alliance is more effective than no alliance!" Gumshoe said.

"BUT WAR IS MEAN!" Leafy complained.

"You know what else is mean? Not shutting the hell up." Ashley mocked the leaf.

"I would hereby request you both stop arguing. We're not going to make a good alliance by constant fights."

"Fine." Leafy reluctantly said.

"If you say so." Ashley says as well.

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Confessional: Cabby

Cabby: The only one here who I can trust 100% is Gumshoe. The the other 2, well, while I can't be certain they'll betray me, I'm still not exactly sure how trustworthy they are. Have had enough experience on these types of shows to know not to blindly trust others.

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It was a regular morning for Team Cocoa. They were talking about the most random stuff you can think of.

"Alright cheese heads, today, we're going to talk about how great Mr. Cheese is for the hundredth time!

"Do you have anything else to talk about besides yourself?" Player bluntly asked.

"I do! Like how much of a loser you are!"

"Actually, you can go back to bragging again."

"Ooh what's that? Did I just offend you? Get owned snowflake!" Mr. Cheese said as he dabbed cringily.

"WOOO! Common Mr. Cheese W!" Homer yelled in excitement.

"You know what? Forget it, I'll go outside, get some fresh air." Player said as he simply left the cabin.

Right after Player left LSP burst into the cabin and attempted to do a Fortnite dance horribly.

"Yah baby! Today's my birthday! Anyone got any, like, birthday gifts for this here queen?!"

We then hear nothing but crickets as no one actually gives a shit.

"Oh please Miss P! I don't even know the month of my son's birthday, so how do you expect me to give a flying squirrel about yours?" Homer asked.

That caused LSP to suddenly stay silent.

"Yeah loser, don't try to steal Mr. Cheese's spotlight! Get outta here!"

We then cut to LSP getting kicked out of the cabin by force.

This caused her mood to sour and she quietly sat on a log, feeling lonely.

However, this didn't last long, as Connor came in and decided to sit with her.

"Connor, what are you, like, doing here?"

"Oh nothing, I just thought of giving you a few words of advice, since I know that feeling, of no one caring about you and all."

"What? I've got like a whole kingdom of people to care about, even if they are like the biggest morons I've ever seen!"

Connor ignored her comment and pulled out a bottle of beer. "Here, consider this a late birthday present."

"Ooh, thanks! My stupid parents never let me drink this kind of stuff! They're always like "Sweetie you're too young for this kind of drinks!" and I'm like SHUT UP mom I'm old enough to do whatever I want!"

Connor realized for a second something. "Now that I think about, how old are you?"

"16."

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Confessional: Connor Roy

Connor was banging his head on the wall after realizing he gave a kid alcohol.

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Plankton called on a meeting with Rottytops, his last remaining ally on his team, at the cliffside.

" 'K boss, I guess you're pretty mad that our alliance was exposed by that stupid devil guy?" She asked.

"Oh I'm not mad, I'm FURIOUS! If I didn't have the risk of losing an ally I would've kicked him so hard he wouldn't have walked again!"

Rottytops giggled. "Can I just say your smol ass is so adorable when you're mad? Cause it is."

"Whatever, I think we should talk about what to do now that we've got a big target on our back."

"Simply gettin' some more allies sounds good enough for me, we got like 7 choices, 2 is enough."

"It's a lot less when you think about for more than 2 seconds imbecile!"

"Wait, hold on a sec', lemme count: Mona is prolly too much in her emo phase right now to help us, Gumshoe is too much of a wuss so he's of no use, Leafy is annoying as all heck, Jeffy I just wanna gouge his pervy eyes out, and Cabby, well, I don't have much to say about Cabby 'cept she's fat."

"So that leaves us with..."

"...Witch gal & ego maniac actor."

"Well, I guess those two are enough. We could maybe convince someone else to throw their vote so we can at least have a chance at survival."

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Confessional: Plankton

Plankton: Honestly, this predicament isn't as bad as I expected! Sure we lost Cordelia, but I can still recover from that! Though I do gotta be warry of Banban in the future.

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: Fingers crossed Mr. Food will get rid of that puppet abomination once and for all!

She jumps up in excitement.

Rottytops: Ah, I'm so getting to the finals with that moron's alliance!

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"Everyone, CHALLENGE TIME!"

Chris's mere voice upset the entire cast as they'd been quite used to his obnoxious egomania by that point, and the brutal challenges that followed.

Though they still all reluctantly went to the usual challenge site to meet with him.

"Ok, today's challenge is somewhat of a twist on an old classic!"

"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?" Nichelle asks him.

"132, to be exact. Anyway, this will basically be a simple night in the woods with your team, with one new addition: you will need to keep your campfire going the ENTIRE night, and if it ever runs out, I will send out my guys to hunt down and capture you all one by one."

As Chris said this, Swag and Guard Chris showed up with guns.

"Just those two? Should be easy enough." Johnny said with confidence.

"YOUDUMBBITCHHOWFUCKINDAREYOUSAYTHATTOMYFUCKINGFACEYOUFAGGOTYSMALLPINGASMAN!" Swag blurted out as he flailed around like a puppet.

"Kill me." Guard Chris said.

"Actually, there's one more guy I hired just for this challenge, in fact, he's the one who gave me this idea in the first place! Baldi, come on in!"

Out of nowhere the guy from the Baldi's Basics game came in.

Baldi-The Teacher (Baldi's Basics)

"Hi everyone, let's go camping! Oh, and hi there Banban!"

"No way, it's my Mascot Horror homie Baldi!" Banban excitedly remarks. "How you doing man?"

"Pretty good, thanks for asking!"

"Ok, Baldi here-"

"That's me!"

"Will hunt you as well, and he'll probably shove that ruler of his up your poop shoot or something, so try your best to keep the fire going and hide somewhere where he'll never find you when it goes out!"

"Wait, that's not fair. How the hell are we supposed to catch Sonic with how fast he is?" Guard Chris asked.

"Simple." Chris said before shooting Sonic's foot as he screamed out in pain. "There, solved that problem with ease."

Amy obviously went over to her crush to check up on him. "SONIC! A-Are you okay?!"

Sonic was still in pain, but was more concerned about her presence more than anything else. "I was until you went over to me!"

"Come on, I'm just worried is all!"

"Yeah Sonic, now you're just being a jerk to someone checking up on you, that's a bit of a dick move right?" Player told him.

"Whatever, you haven't seen half the stuff this girl has tried to do to get in my pants!"

"Since when were you wearing pants?" LSP asked.

"Figure of speech."

"Ok ok, Amy, go back to your team and you will all start heading towards the woods and preferably find a place to not only sleep for the night but also to have a way to make a camp fire."

"Well you heard Mr. McLean team, I say we head onwards towards the nearest forest." Boba Fett commanded his team, who all gave him stern looks.

"And why should we listen to you?" Bea bluntly asked him.

"Is it about the so called "alliance" Banban said I was in? It's quite obvious he was unstable and saying complete delusions. There wasn't any alliance between me, him or Plankton, he just assumed things."

"Nope, we're still in one!" Banban clarified.

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Confessional: Boba Fett

Boba Fett: The only reason why I didn't blast Banban to death right then and there is because he's the only one of my team who would actually vote with me right now, the second I gain the majority, he will be gone as quickly as possible.

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: With people having already made alliances before, I think it's best to make my own before they'll target me.

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Whilst Team Rose were walking though the woods, Banban was singing a song.

"[Verse 1]

Out here on my own, collecting wooden sticks
I've got a hunch I'll need a bunch, like maybe five or six...
Every stick I find will slow me down some more
It's bold but it'll boost my score

-Baldi: Great job!

A compass could be nice, I'd settle for a map
But all I've got's a foot that's caught in one of Baldi's traps!

It's A Bully: I want all those sticks!

I thought I'd try to run. Instead, he took them all but one

[Bridge 1]
Now the fire is slowly dying.. and I think I might follow suit
Out of breath but I can't stop trying...
...'cause I gotta sweep in pursuit!

[Chorus 1]
Keeping alive the fire, the pressure's on! The timer's ticking!
Watching the flames go higher!
Won't last for long... and Baldi will be after me again

-Cloudy Copter: (Blowing)
-Hey hey hey! Cut that out!

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[Verse 2]
Playtime had some sticks, but didn't want to share
My only hope was skipping rope
Who knew she had a spare?
Something moved nearby, that blowing thing was back
It left after a sweep attack

[Bridge 2]
But at least no one is here to accuse me of breaking rule after rule without end...

-Principal of the Thing: No breaking the fourth wall!
-Excuse me?
-1st Prize: I am coming to hug you, friend!

[Chorus 2]
Keeping alive the fire, no time to lose, 'cause Cloudy Copter's killing my makeshift pyre!
It won't be long, 'till Baldi will be after me again!

[Main Bridge]
Somewhere in the forest, there's a madman running toward us!
I can hear the fatal chorus of his slaps!
Slapping, slapping, slapping, all I hear is the bloody tapping!
As my sanity keeps snapping toward collapse!
Cuicas from the ether, splitting silence like a cleaver, growing louder like a fever in my head!
Cracking so foreboding, I can feel my wits eroding as my mind begins imploding from the dread!

[Chorus 3]
What would Baldi do, if fire's what he finds?
A bit of wood and paper should enlighten Baldi's mind!
Just a little spark! An itsy-bitsy flame!

[Ending]
Come on, got to go faster!
Run from the schoolmaster!
Come save me from this gaaaame!"

Naturally, everyone had to cover their ears in how awful he sung. Imagine his voice like if Justin Bieber came out as trans.

"Kill me." Sanders whined.

"Same, I feel all insecurity about my music's quality vanish completely when I hear him sing mon." Dee Jay added.

Team Cocoa managed to find a good camping spot in a cave nearby, with Ash & Pillow being the ones to grab some wood to start the campfire right outside of it.

Meanwhile, Sonic was clutching to his shot leg.

"Oh, fuck fuck fuck, it hurts so bad!"

Player & Homer tried helping him out.

"Ok ok, Homer, got anything we could treat Sonic with?"

"No."

Pillow then immediately stepped in with a saw. "I've got something! Don't worry, It'll only hurt a teeny tiny bit."

"Yeah, no thanks. I'd rather not have my leg amputated right now, thank you."

"Ungrateful prick." Pillow muttered as she threw the saw out of the cave.

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Confessional: Pillow

Pillow: Killing is no fun when you're supposed to do non-killing related challenges. But don't worry, I got a little plan for now.

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Team Pee Pee, being the largest team, was able to easily make their own camp quickly. They had already set up a campfire and used logs to create some "beds" for themselves.

"Well team, I think that with this setup, we can simply take turns in taking wood and be able to go through the whole night with the campfire always going!" Cabby declared.

"Yeah, so what, who gives a shit?" Mona asked, looking rather melancholic, to say the least. "We live in such a dark, cruel and irrational world, there's nothing to be happy about."

"Uh, Mona, are you-"

Leafy stopped Cabby from continuing. "It's no use Cabby, people like her are a lost cause."

"Woah, that's...really pessimistic pal, seriously, what the heck?" Gumshoe told her.

"There's no reason to be nice to people who are depressed, because they'll never give you validation for being nice!"

Cabby grabbed Leafy's hand and went over with her to somewhere more secluded. "Leafy, arguing like that with your alliance members is NOT the way to go. You should know that."

"C'mon Cabby, I'm just being honest!"

"Even if you are, you're still being rather judgemental to someone's mental health, which is not exactly something your "nice" image would be helped by."

Leafy proceeded to slap the file cabinet. "HEY! Don't you dare imply I'm not being nice! The very moment I mess up, everyone is gonna hate me, and it'll all be your fault!"

Leafy then left, confusing Cabby further. "Wha-What?"

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Confessional: Leafy

Leafy: Just going to say you, the viewer, is the greatest person EVER! U-Unless you're Jeffy, in which case, you're a bad boy!

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Jeffy was talking to Johnny.

"It's so unfair that the girls never want to touch my pee pee! I'm the nicest fucking guy ever and those bitches just don't care about that, no, they just want a hunky alpha male gigachad who beats the shit out of them instead! So can you help me with becoming one?"

"That, well, to be honest kid, you're kinda retarded. In fact, normally, I'd smack your ass all the way to Tennessee, but since you're asking for help from the Johnny Cage, I'm in."

Jeffy then proceeded to dance around. "YAY!"

"So, what's the first thing you wanna know about "Cage's Creative & Cool Compliments & Comradery to get Cunt?"

"What pronouns should I use to get pussy?"

"What the fuck?!"

Team Rose had literally nothing set up except a campfire, so they just sat on the ground with a bunch of tree branches.

"Everyone, remember to put some of the wood in the fire if it looks like it's starting to warm." Sanders said.

"Sure we will boss, sure we will." Banban said back.

"Why in the world should we trust you? You got someone out due to a petty grudge and revealed you also have an inter team alliance for crying out loud!" Amy complained.

"Hey, it's your fault for listening to me!"

"Guy, it was either that or having you yell at us for the rest of time. It was way harder of a decision than you think it was." Nichelle told him.

"Fine. Sorry for getting Cordelia out, but at least it was only a waifu bait character."

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Confessional: Amy Rose

Amy: Banban sucks, that's all I'm here to say.

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Bea grabbed both Dee Jay & Nichelle and whispered to them.

"Since we all happen to be on decent terms now, how does an official alliance sound like?"

"We've basically had an alliance since day 1, might as well start calling it that." Dee Jay responded.

"Uh, y-yeah, let's go girl!" Nichelle said, desperately trying to hide her crush.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: More girl time with one of the few people who treats me like a person instead of either a punching bag or someone to worship is always nice.

She sighted before continuing to talk.

Nichelle: That and I'm in love with her, somehow. I'm not going back to Hollywood with that baggage, but honestly, I don't even care.

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Rottytops went over to Johnny and asked him something.

"Hey big guy, have I ever said you're real hot and cool?!"

"Ooh, a fan! That's cool, what do you want, a selfie or some shit?"

"Actually no. Wanna join me and Plankton's alliance?"

"Eh, why not? It's always good to have allies."

"YAPEEE!"

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Confessional: Rottytops

Rottytops: Well that was easy! I gotta admit, Johnny's a little handsome, too bad my type's mainly girls, more specifically, purple haired, cute belly dancer girls!

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Night had come by that point and all teams started their own fires.

At Team Rose, people were telling some scary stories for that camping mood.

"Ok guys, here's a true, terrifying story: One day, I was going to my local fast food store, I can't remember which except that a lot of fat folks were there. Anyway, I went over to the counter and asked for dino nuggets, but this DIPSHIT told me that I was "too old to order off the kids menu". Scary shit alright." Banban explained.

...

...

...

"Ok, how exactly is that scary?" Bea asked.

"I mean, have you ever been wrongfully denied something out of total discrimination against something you can't control?"

"That hits a little too close to home Banban." Dee Jay said. "And again, your story is not scary at all, sorry."

Boba Fett quickly muttered though his helmet "Idiot".

Jeffy was beating his diaper as usual when Johnny gave him so advice to get some bitches.

"Ok, first order of business in attracting women is to be the dominant one. Yell at them, smack them in the face, grab 'em by the pussy, they love that."

"That makes my pee pee get larger."

Plankton had overheard their conversation and was rather concerned at what Johnny said. "Uh, that sounds...rather misogynistic, to say the least. My wife wouldn't like it if I short circuited her for example."

"Hey, might as well tell the kid the truth on the matter." Johnny said.

"Um, ok. Hey detective, grab us some wood, the fire needs some!"

"Right on pal!" Gumshoe said as he left the vicinity.

Team Cocoa were relaxing in the cave as rain started to come outside of it.

Luckily, they had their campfire in the cave, so it was still burning.

"Wow, we're pretty lucky we didn't make the fire outside." Player said.

"I mean, we could've just had LSP hover over the fire." Connor says.

"Wha?" LSP wondered.

Pillow however, had other plans.

"Guys look, a dog!" She said as she pointed towards the other side.

"WHERE!" Everyone yelled in unison as they all turned around to not see Pillow blow out the campfire.

"There was no dog!" Homer said as he turned back and saw the fire not existing anymore. "AH!"

"I bet Player put the fire out!" Mr. Cheese accused.

"Are you actually serious?!" Player demanded to know.

"Yes I am loser!"

"Guys, guys, we should flee right?" Sonic asked. "They're gonna find us quickly in the cave."

"Ok team, let's go." Mr. Cheese said.

At Team Rose, Bea & Nichelle were sleeping right next to each other when the rain started, which caused them to wake up and shout at each other out of shock.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

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Confessional: Bea

Bea: Ah, that was rather...I don't know how to say...comforting? I don't know why, but having Nichelle hold me made me feel good. Hopefully this doesn't happen again.

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: .AMAZING! Hopefully she feels the same way.

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"Ok, now that we have no fire, it's only a matter of time before they come for us. I suggest I hover to see anyone approaching us." Boba Fett says.

"Makes sense, now, look as much as possible." Sanders told him.

Gumshoe found himself lost in the woods as the rain came.

"C-Crap! The fire's probably dead by now, so I better return to my team! B-But I don't even know where I came from!"

He tries desperately to look for where to go, until he spots a sign saying "Cloog Inc. ahead" with an arrow sign.

"Is that the location of famous furry murdering animator and groomer Major Cloog?! Maybe he knows where to go!"

Team Cocoa ran out of the cave and were looking around for a hiding spot.

"SWIGGITY SWOOTY, COMIN' FOR THAT BOOTY! SWIGGITY SWOOTY, COMIN' FOR THAT BOOTY! SWIGGITY SWOOTY, COMIN' FOR THAT BOOTY!" Swag repeatedly says as he hunts for the team.

The team got scared. "Oh no, they've found us!" Player says.

"Guys, I've got an idea." Connor says. "Let's climb up a tree!"

The team does exactly what Connor says and climb up the nearest tree quickly, except LSP who just floats.

When Swag comes in with Guard Chris, they find themselves not seeing the team.

"Crap, no one's here!" Guard Chris said.

"Fuck, where are they?!"

"Here!" Homer responds like an idiot whilst his entire team stares at him. "What? I was being polite by answering his question."

"Wait, are they here?!" Swag asked Chris.

"Actually no, Team Cocoa is in the cafeteria!" Pillow tells them.

"You heard it Chris, let's fuckin' go!" Swag declares as he instantly flees.

Guard Chris slaps himself at how stupid Swag is but goes with him anyway. "You guys got lucky Swag is retarded. See you when we inevitably find jackshit."

"The fact that that worked is insane." Player told Pillow.

"Ok." Pillow said before she got out of the tree. "I'll deal with the rest." She then ran off somewhere.

"Do we go after her?" LSP asked.

"Nah, let her get captured." Sonic replies.

Team Pee Pee were wondering what to even do.

"Oh god, where do we go?! Those hunters could be everywhere!" Johnny declares.

"No idea, but first, shouldn't we stay here a little bit to wait for Gumshoe?" Cabby remarked. "He is one of our own after all."

"Tch, who cares? He's probably already captured by now!" Plankton says. "And I've got a plan for us to get away!"

Plankton then somehow pulls out a big rocket ship out of hist tiny body. "Don't ask questions, everyone just GET IN THE SHIP!"

The entire team enters the ship and Plankton flies it off to outer space.

Pillow goes somewhere until she sees Baldi.

"I'M GONNA SHOVE THIS RULER UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!" He excitedly says before Pillow just breaks his ruler and he gets sad.

"Oh man!"

Pillow then pulls out a fucking axe and tries to kill Baldi but he dodges it and runs off at super speed.

"Coward." Pillow remarks.

Gumshoe goes to a cave called "Cloog Inc."

"So this is where Major Cloog lives." He says.

Suddenly, a skinny version of the default Roblox avatar come out of the cave.

Major Cloog-The Anti Furry Groomer (Youtuber)

"I GROOM MINORS!"

This scares Gumshoe so much he can't even speak.

"This is where my discord got d-doxxed on 4chan!" He explains. "CLOOG INC.! WHERE PEDOPHILES AND GROOMERS ALIKE COME TO GROOM! WE DON'T NEED ANY AGE VERIFICATION, BECAUSE WE WANT MINORS HERE! SO WE COULD TICKLE THEIR FORESKINS AND TOUCH THEIR FOURSEPS!"

Gumshoe was now just confused. "Major Cloog?"

Major Cloog then pulls out a drink and gives it to the detective. "Take my spiked drink so I can groom you."

He then drinks it.

"Yes!"

And then gets knocked unconscious.

Major Cloog then stares at the camera. "CLOOG INC.! COME HERE IF YOU WANT YOUR TICKLES TOUCHED, AND YOUR PICKLED LICKELED! Join our server except you can't because invites are CLOSED!"

We now see that Team Pee Pee is on the moon now.

And the ship wasn't exactly made to hold 9 people at once, meaning it was quite cramped.

"Can we get out of the rocket?" Johnny asked Plankton.

"No unless you want to die from the lack of oxigen in space."

"Whatever, everything sucks ass anyway." Mona bitterly remarks.

Pillow got inside Major Cloog's residence.

"Oh look, it's the guy whose entire channel consists of brutally murdering furries. To be honest, you're pretty soft for a groomer."

"Do you want to get groomed?" Major Cloog kindly asked.

Pillow then ripped out his spine Mortal Kombat style.

She then looked at Gumshoe's body. "That guy stole my kill, that's not cool."

She then fled the vicinity.

Boba Fett was looking around the woods, scanning every possible part of it to make sure no one would capture his team.

He spotted Pillow with a shotgun.

"What is she doing here?" He asked himself.

Then Pillow just shot him.

It hit his jetpack, which caused him to crash right where his team was.

"BOB!" Banban yelled, worried about his friend.

Dee Jay helped Boba Fett get on the ground after his fall, with him getting back up on quite quickly.

"I-I'm fine, my armor is made of Beskar, strong material that can withstand a lot of damage from simple blasters, these bullets stand no chance."

"Wait, they have guns? That's crazy!" Nichelle said.

"Oh they don't, but I sure as heck have!" Pillow's voice confirmed which led to everyone seeing her.

Right now, she was covered with blood from Major Cloog, which caused everyone to scream and run away.

She took out her shotgun and aimed it at Amy. Luckily, the girl was quick to dodge the shot.

She then took out an AK47 and began shooting from all sides.

She managed to hit Dee Jay, Sanders and Boba Fett.

"AH FUCK! MY FUCKING ARM!" He yelled as he clutched his injured arm and hid behind a tree.

Bea went over to him. "Dee Jay, you alright?"

"NO! We're all gonna die!"

Nichelle however, wasn't scared and went to confront Pillow.

"Hey murderer, you're not going to shoot my friends like that and expect me to just do jack shit about it!"

"I'd like to see you try, washed up Hollywood star."

"Whatever you say bitch!"

Nichelle ran to Pillow to beat her up, and masterfully dodged all her bullets from her AK47, up until she just pulled out an RPG.

"Wanna screw with me now?"

This caused Nichelle to back away in fear of her life.

"Good. Now I'm right back to murdering you guys."

Banban then came out and was visibly scared of confronting Pillow. "Come on Banban, these guys are your friends, don't let them down, you're their only hope."

Pillow heard what he said and aimed her AK47 at him. "I see someone's being very brave today. Too bad bravery more often than not leads to your doom."

"I won't let you kill them Pillow! You're the worst character in all of Battle For Dream Island! Worse than Firey Jr., worse than David, worse than even Leafy! You have no character traits besides being a murderer! If the votes weren't vote to save, you'd have been out in TPOT 4, but no, you just had to make it so damn far!"

This speech didn't affect the pillow at all. "Aight, good to know."

But suddenly, Banban started to shake, and his face resembled a monstrosity now.

"AAARGHHHHHHHH!" His demonic form went as he ran up to Pillow.

Pillow shot him with her AK47 to the point she emptied her magazine and the bullets didn't even affect him at all.

"Crap." She went as Banban approached her.

For a last ditch effort at killing him, she got out her RPG and shot him.

The shot caused a bunch of smoke to come out, but when it all cleared, Banban was as fine as he was before.

He finally got to Pillow, who tried to run away, but Banban out sped her and grabbed her.

He then punched her and then threw her out.

Banban then went out of his monster form and right back into his usual derpy form.

The rest of the team came out of their hiding spots to celebrate him.

"WOOO! GO BANBAN!" Dee Jay went. "Never thought I'd say but you saved our bacon mon!"

"True that, even I couldn't have taken her on." Bea admits.

Even Boba Fett was impressed, giving Banban a handshake. "Well, that was unexpected. How did you even change forms like that?"

"Well, to be honest, I always had this monster form, it's just that prior to my transformation in personality here, I couldn't control it, but now, with my newfound courage, I was finally able to use it for good, rather than attacking innocent people."

"Good for you then." Amy congratulated him.

Team Cocoa had all gotten to sleep when DJ Not Nice & Toby Queef managed to find them.

"Well would ya look at that, it's those faggots who vandalized mah damn truck!" Queef explained to DJ Not Nice.

"You heard the host Toby Queef, ret's go and give them to him, maybe he'rr ret us join the game?"

At the challenge site where Chris sat, The two of them grabbed the still sleeping contestants and gave them to him.

"Here mistah McJew, unlike those fags of yours, we managed to actually capture these guys."

Chris looked at them. "Hmmm, yup, you certainly did. Now let me just wake them up." He then grabbed a megaphone. "WAKE UP RETARDS!"

Obviously the megaphone woke them all up, and also confused them. "Wait, how did we get captured?!" Asked Player.

"It was due to those two." Chris responded, pointing at Toby Queef & DJ Not Nice.

"How the hell is Toby Queef back?!" Sonic wondered. "And who's the asian guy?"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is you guys got captured, ergo, you're up for elimination."

The whole team groanded as a result of that.

"This is not fair at all! We didn't even get captured by the guys you sent out!" Mr. Cheese protested.

"Don't care. Now as for these two-"

"We're entering the fuckin' game?" Toby Queef asked.

A cage then suddenly fell on the two.

"Nope. You're now our prisoners for trespassing on my property, thank you very much."

"Fuck! I knew that we should've come with additional people!" Toby Queef complains. "We'll get our revenge on you Chris McFaggot!"

"I'd like to see you try bitch. As for Team Cocoa, since we're going to have the sun fall soon, we're doing the elimination right now!"

"But what about Pillow?" Sonic asked.

"Eh, she's okay, but I'm too lazy to bring her here, so for that she'll get a vote by default. Anyway, elimination reasons: Player, you got the fire put out."

"That's not true!" Player claimed.

"Yeah it is!" Mr. Cheese says.

"Mr. Cheese, you're a bully. And Pillow just ghosted you guys for seemingly no reason. Now vote so we can end this chapter!"

"Player." Ash says.

"Mr. Cheese." Player says.

"Player." Mr. Cheese says.

"Mr. Cheese." Connor says.

"Player." Homer says.

"Mr. Cheese." Sonic says.

"Mr. Cheese." LSP says.

"Player." Pillow, who was suddenly there, says.

"Whoa Pillow, where were you this whole time?" Sonic asks.

"Funny doings, that's all I say." Pillow replies.

"Aaaaand we've got a tie for like the first time in over 15 years!" Chris declares. "Now normally, I would have a tiebreaker challenge or just eliminated both Player & Mr. Cheese, but since these two's arcs haven't ended, I'm going to throw a pebble at someone, and the one who gets hit is instantly eliminated!"

Chris grabs a pebble from the ground and intentionally throws it in Ash's face.

"Well I guess Mr. Ketchup is out!"

"Hey that's not fair!" Ash protested.

"Whatever." Chris says before the Fist Thingy of Despair hits Ash and sends him packing straight into the TLC of Shame.

"That was anticlimactic. Anyway, now we're left with 24 players remaining, exactly 2 thirds left! Who will gome home next? Will Pillow kill someone again? And will the story be banned from fanfiction dot net due to it's numerous guideline breaking jokes? Find out next time on

Total!

Drama!

Multiversal!

MADNESS!"

Well that was just madness alright. Next episode is an Angry Birds challenge by the way, except the contestants are the birds and the pigs are well, it's a surprise.

Ash was eliminated for being blatant fodder, how tragic. Strange how I was not able to write him even though I'm decently familliar with the Pokemon anime.

Also everyone on Team Cocoa who jumped in the first challenge is gone now except for Player. Oh the power of bias.

And now we're on another cast reveal, this one being a character from a NSFW dating sim of all things.

We cut to a gym where a lone person is doing push ups. She is a brown skinned, black haired hispanic woman in her early 20s with a nice figure.

"68...69...70!" As she said this she stopped with the pushups and began introducing herself to the camera.

"Hola! My name is Kyanna Delrio, I'm a single mom working as a hair stylist. Now, it's not exactly a secret I'm...struggling with finances to give me and my baby boy something to eat, so I thought applying for a reality show would be a fast way to get money. Plus I'm quite the package, I've got lots of friends and regularly go to the gym, so it shouldn't be that hard to win, and even if I don't, the compensation cash I'd get for just competing is enough for the mouth I need to feed. Looking forward to the show alright!"

The song Banban sung is Baldi's Field Trip: The Musical by Random Encounters on youtube. Check them out you cowards.

Also, the "too old to order off the kids menu" is a reference to a scene from Oddballs by TheOdds1out which is a gag on youtuber Chazington's channel. Check him out as well cowards.

Chapter Text

Ok let's go

Luckyhill: We'll see what happens to her in the end.

Og_Plush: Don't worry.

1612Jaw: Major Cloog deserves every hate he gets

"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness.

The cast went on a big camping trip in the woods where they did stuff. Then Pillow decided to murder everyone and failed miserably. Oh, and Team Pee Pee went to the moon, makes just as much sense in context. Nothing else actually happened, this whole episode was kinda filler.

Who will get out next? Find out right fuckin' now on

Total

Drama

Multiversal

MADNESS!"

Episode 12: Angry Turds

We open the episode on the moon. Team Pee Pee was still there of course, all cramped up.

"So, are we just going to stay on the moon for all of eternity?" Rottytops asked. "Pretty sure the sun's orbited around the earth at least once, so it's safe to say we won the challenge and all."

"I would if Jeffy allowed me to!" Plankton responds as we are shown that Jeffy is holding him tightly in his hand.

"I'll let his ass go if a girl gets to suck my pee pee."

"J-Jeffy that's disgusting!" Cabby complained.

"Can we eject him Among Us style?" Leafy asked.

"D-Do it please!" Plankton demanded.

Jeffy then proceeds to hit his diaper with the hand he's holding Plankton with, disgusting everyone nearby.

"Eugh." Ashley bluntly mutters.

"Of course a stupid fucking autist is gonna do that!" Mona bitterly remarks. "And now we're going to suffocate in space, fuck me!"

"That's...uh...I don't even know what to say now." Cabby admits.

We're now in Team Rose's cabin with Bea, Nichelle & Dee Jay.

"Now that we've got our own alliance, who do you two think we should target?" Bea asked them.

"Boba Fett seems like our best bet." Nichelle chuckled at what she said. "Hey that rhymed! Anyway, he seems like the biggest threat on the team, especially with his alliance with Banban."

"Good observation skills mon." Dee Jay congratulated her.

"T-Thanks. Also, Bea, wanna talk about...y'know, the thing with us last challenge?"

Bea stood in silence for a few seconds, prompting Dee Jay to leave.

"Yeah, this is awkward. See you two later to deal with it alone!"

This caused the silence between the two to get even more intense.

"So...wanna hang out, as...friends?" Nichelle asked awkwardly.

"Um...ok, I guess."

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Confessional: Nichelle

Nichelle: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Okay, one step closer to a confession, and if she doesn't feel the same way we can still be friends and all, so there's nothing to worry about!

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Team Cocoa were eating in the mess hall at the moment, and enjoying it as well.

Player, who was eating a can of beans, saw Chris going through and asked him something. "Hey Chris, didn't there used to be a chef on the show? I don't think any of us have seen him, and this certainly isn't his cooking, otherwise I'd be throwing up."

"Oh him? H-He got ligma and died! Yeah he did!" Chris answered hesitantly.

"I'm inclined to not believe that."

Chris then grabbed him by the collar. "This is none of your business asshole! Say anything more and you'll be instantly eliminated!" He then let go of him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go eat stuff from the kitchen, bye bitch!"

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Confessional: Player

Player: That was weird.

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At Cocoa's table Homer kept eating all the food they had, not giving anyone a single crumb.

"Um, Homie, can you give us like, some food? I'm starving!" LSP complained to him.

"Do you have a job miss? Like working in a power plant where you can get Ebola by just being exposed to it?"

"How can you even get Ebola from radiation?" Player asked in bewilderment.

"I mean, Homer has a job, unlike you loser, so maybe you just aren't smart enough Player?" Mr. Cheese smugly replied.

"God, I'd rather listen to the Egghead's rambling than these idiots." Sonic says. "This show sucks. Player is the only one on this team to be even slightly tolerable."

"Hey, I'm not intolerable! Maybe a little eccentric but I do the best I can!" Connor complains.

"Yeah, sure you do Con, sure you do." Sonic snarked.

"Okay okay. Since this isn't going anywhere, I'll hang out with LSP. A-And just so you know, it is absolutely NOT in any sexual nature no!"

"Connor, I mean, I doubt you're going to groom her or anything but this doesn't help your case at all." Player tells him.

"W-Wait does that mean I'm a pedophile?"

"No no no no NO! I just meant that-"

An airhorn blew through everyone's ears.

"Attention faggots it's challenge time! Meet me at the place where we do challenges, what was it called again? Eh, who cares? Just go!"

Everyone got to the challenge site (don't know what its called shut up) except all of Team Pee Pee sans (hah Sans Undertale) Gumshoe who was alone I guess.

Chris was also in a diaper for some reason.

"Chris, why do you have a diaper?" Asked Dee Jay.

"I was having some hot age play with the two interns but they reminded me it was time to start the challenge. Fuck those two by the way, does anyone want to do diaper fetish RP in our Discord DMs?"

"What the fuck Chris!" Guard Chris protested. "This is a kids show, they could get fucked for life!"

"Well then why do they have drag queens read books to 5 year olds in their stripper voice?"

"Why are we bringing this up? The author isn't even American." Sonic said.

"Because why not!" Chris answered. "Anyhow, any questions before we start?"

Gumshoe raised his hand. "Sorry if I bother you pal, but all my team is gone! Where are they?!"

"Oh that? Those assholes went to the moon, thinking they could outsmart me, but I'm smarter than they think I am! Come in Eggfuckhead!"

Dr. Eggman from the Sonic games then was teleported to the island.

Naturally, the 3 from his universe are confused.

"What are you doing here Egghead?" Sonic asked. "Are you here to get some workout done and lose weight?"

"Shut the fuck up Sonic, that's a really fatphobic thing to say!" Eggman shouted.

"Yeah, this guys isn't the Eggman we know, is he?" Amy said.

"Don't care you heteronormative slut! Mr. McLean sent me here to do what I do best!"

Banban, being a bit slow in his reaction time, proceeded to do that wowjak pointing meme at Eggman. "Holy crap guys, it's Eggman from Tyranny Of The Masses!"

"Tyranny of the what now?" Boba Fett asked.

"It's the show Player's retarded sister competes in!"

"Is she seriously competing for a game show like me? Chances are she got out like first or something." Player remarked.

"Anyway, it's time, for my SUPER LASER PISS!" Eggman said as he took off his pants, revealing the disgusting teeny tiny weewee he had on him, disgusting everyone.