Chapter Text
it's cold. im thinking of his words again, empty promises- or maybe they were true. do i know? will i ever? does anyone? promises to protect, but memories of betrayal assault them before i can even begin to remember his words in full. you said you would cut the hands off any man who hurt me- or did you? was it a lie i made up to comfort myself in the memory of you? - but then it was your hands. your hands. your hands. on me, hurting me, the same that cradled me as a mere baby, the same that taught me how to do such simple things like ride a bike or read a book. your hands. the ones that held mine when crossing the street. your hands. the ones that pulled me into your arms after a long day. your hands. the ones holding mine as you brought me back home, giving me off to the devil behind the door. your hands. the ones that held the belt. your hands. the ones that traveled where no one of blood or marriage's relation should. your hands. the ones that lifted the cigarette to your lips all those years ago. your hands. you told me i was a liar. but they know im not. they know my hands hold the truth, the story you fear to tell, the one you know was wrong. god, i suffered so much at those hands.
"salvation" will not save your filthy soul. the grime will not be allowed to taint the gates of whatever afterlife you delude yourself into believing you will enter. you will not be safe from punishment for your crimes, for the filth you have tainted me and others with. no longer will the eyes of the god/s above allow you to hide from them when your consiousness enters their realm. you will finally understand what it is to be torn apart and put back together again, be it wholly or not. you are not safe.
your hands.