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Circular bruises line Mind’s arms, some patches stained blue with his blood, where his arm fully caved under the weight of his jaws. He isn’t as good at breaking skin as Heart was.
Perhaps it’s harder when you’re doing it to yourself. It’s a logical answer; of course your subconscious wouldn’t allow you to plunge your teeth into your skin, tear flesh from bone– no matter how much you may think you want something, a deeper, more primal part of you wants something else. There will always be a part of you that wants out, that wants to live. The wild animal perseveres, no matter how far it is pushed down.
The bite marks covering Mind’s arms ache; the only thing saving him from dropping his watering can being his mechanical hands, immune to the shaking that plagues the rest of his body.
A sharp laugh pierces the air, driving itself directly into Mind’s brain. It’s too loud, too energetic. It feels like it’s mocking him, but Mind knows better. There’s no way Soul is even aware Mind is outside. His focus is on Heart, always. How could he not focus on Heart, when Heart has fallen to Soul’s every whim ever since he left apathy.
Soul holds Heart by the wrist, pulling him along as Soul throws himself onto the grass, limbs splaying out, accepting the sun’s light as if it were the warmest summer day and not the remnants of a dim, flickering bulb.
Heart follows, folding his wings behind him as he kneels beside Soul. Those putrid bright orange invaders twitch as Heart settles, his inability to control them only serving to emphasise how unnatural they are.
Tugging Heart close, Soul kisses his empty sockets through the blindfold. Entirely still, Heart doesn’t struggle– he simply remains pinned in place under Soul’s touch.
Docile was never a word Mind would have used to describe Heart [and he had used many, many words to describe him], and yet it is by far the most fitting word for how Heart behaves around Soul. His Heart was bold, always ready to drag Mind [and Soul, when he was capable of accepting their presence near him] along to whatever plans he had made for the day. This isn’t him, it can’t be.
Predator circling prey, Soul shifts along the grass, moving behind Heart. Heart remains still– fear or acceptance? Mind knows the answer, and yet he hopes there is more, hopes that despite everything there is still a part of Heart that cannot take this, a wild animal battering at the bars of its cage, desperate to be free.
Despite everything, Mind hopes. It’s all he can do.
Something has to give. There is only so long an animal can tolerate being caged, it can only have the patience to play dead for so long. The straw that broke the camel’s back– and yet Mind worries he may be the one breaking.
Fingers encircle Heart’s neck and he somehow goes more still than he was previously. Mind stares from afar, studying the little of Heart’s expression he can make out from so far away, searching for any trace of that caged beast. It feels useless, but what else could Mind do? His Heart needs to be in there, somewhere. He can’t stop looking for him, he could never give up on his Heart.
Mind’s stare is so intense it feels as though he could bore a hole straight through Heart, into the very core of his being.
That is, until he notices Heart’s chest moving again, and Soul’s head turning up.
Mind runs. Something in him urges him to not let Soul know he was watching. What would knowing Mind was watching do to Soul? What would he do to Mind, if he thought there was a chance he could break?
He can’t think, he can barely breathe. In this moment, he feels no different to Heart. Persistence predator, slowly following its prey, waiting for it to tire. Mind runs as far as he can, until fog encircles his limbs and he has no choice but to stop. Ragged breaths tear from his throat.
Soul is behind him, he’s behind him and his hands are outstretched ready to circle in for the kill–
His head whips around, his eye wide as he attempts to figure out where Soul is. No matter where he looks, all he can see is a flat plain of grass, and the house.
The watering can thunks to the ground as Mind falls to his knees.