Chapter Text
Tenzin’s face fell when the ferry docked at Republic City. Where he hoped to see Lin and Lila, he only saw one half of the party present.
“Mom? What are you doing here?”
Katara grinned, squeezing Lili closer to her. “I understand that I’m no Lin, but what is that face? I’m still your mother,” she teased.
“Sorry, is Lin- is Lin okay?” He asked, trying to grab his daughter in one arm so he could offer the other one to his mother.
When Katara didn’t take his hand or make any attempt to get on the ferry, his worried face contorted to something more confused.
“Tenz, get down here. I’m not getting on.”
“No, I can’t because Lin—“
”Honey, she’s not going to know you took one step on the dock.”
“But I swore—“
Katara sighed. “Tenzin, Lin is sick. You should go be with her.”
The airbender gaped in shock. “She wants me there?” He asked more than stated.
“No, son. She hates your guts. But she’s weak and she needs someone to care for her.”
Tenzin still hadn’t stepped off the ferry. “Mom, I made a promise to her. I’ve made many promises to her in my life, but for all those that I have broken, I want to keep this one.”
Katara took his words in for a moment and then sighed. “You belong with Lin, Tenzin. What on Earth are you doing?”
Tenzin exhaled defeatedly. “I don’t know.”
Lin was terrified. Not of the seasonal flu but of infecting Lila with her symptoms. If it wasn’t for Katara, Lin would’ve driven herself crazy not knowing what to do.
Thankfully Lila was fine. She didn’t have a fever or a runny nose or vertigo every time she stood up. Lin knew she was asking for a lot from Katara by having her care for herself and her baby, but she didn’t know what else to do.
But Katara knew how to play her cards right. Simply moaning as if in pain every time she stood up was enough to guilt Lin into thinking she was exhausted. In reality, she could do this whole thing three times over. She raised three kids, didn’t she? Katara was far sturdier than she was given credit for.
So when the old waterbender asked Lin if she could send her son over to care for her, the young chief was in no position to argue with the proposition.
There was some respite because the fever and vertigo kept her so off her rocker, she probably wouldn’t be able to tell Tenzin and a sky bison apart. Therefore technically, she agreed to some bald, tattooed, overbearing nurse and not Tenzin specifically.
She rolled in bed wondering when her knight in shining armor would appear with wet towels and food but caught herself thinking about him. She realized her mind only has two states: ‘Ugh, Tenzin’ and ‘Ah, Tenzin.” And they were both equally awful.
She was rummaging through her mind trying to figure out why this man lived there rent free, when she heard some tapping. Surely, those fever dreams had made her delusional. She was certain she was hearing things.
Tap. Tap.
Likely a stupid bird pecking at her glass window thinking it was the bark of a tree.
Tap. Tap.
That bird was one persistent motherfucker.
Tap. Tap.
Lin rolled again, turning to the side facing her balcony. With some effort, she pulled the duvet off her face and forced on eye open.
The bird was an airhead.
Tenzin was floating on his air scooter on her balcony with an idiotic smile plastered across his face.
Lin threw a cushion at the window with all the strength she could muster. It was worth it because it made Tenzin flinch.
She stood up using all her might, the vertigo was doing wonders to her stability as she made her over and slid the door to the balcony open.
”What the fuck, Tenzin?!”
“Before you kill me,” the airbender quickly justified, “I’m not technically stepping foot in Republic City, I’m floating on the air above it so—”
Lin doubled down in half and gagged. Part of her liked to think that the nausea was because of the sight of Tenzin.
”Okay, can you please let me take care of you. I promise—”
”Yes! Yes, airhead!” She cried irritably. “Just stop talking and help me get back in bed.”
Without a word, Tenzin did as he was told. He couldn’t stand to see Lin in this state and yet, it felt bittersweet that this was the only opportunity he was granted to see her one on one.
As she lay in bed, her duvet fully engulfing her, Tenzin caressed the top of her head to help her rest.
“Mom told me you were in a pretty bad shape. What happened?”
Lin groaned, eyes shut but mind wide awake and replied, “It’s just a flu. The healer told me I’d be more susceptible because of my condition but this is fucking nightmare.”
“I can imagine. I’m sorry you’re going through this,” he said, shifting so that he could sit beside her in bed.
“Did you get it from work?”
Lin pulled a face. “I’m on maternity leave. I can keep my promises.”
”I’m only here because mom was—”
”Don’t care. I could hire a healer if I could get to the damn radio but your mom insisted we were family.”
“She isn’t wrong there.”
“Mmmm, but did it have to be you?” She asked softly.
“I think it did,” he replied with a smile. “With you, it’s always going to be. And with me, it’s always going to be you. It’s high time we stop questioning it.”
“Are you hitting on me while I’m incapacitated with your weird spiritual games, airhead?”
“No, I’m just trying to make you feel better. Why? Is it working?” He asked with a grin.
Lin bit back a smirk she felt coming on. “Never.”
“Anything I can do for you?” He asked after a few minutes of silence.
Lin replied with a cough. So Tenzin handed the glass of water on her bedside to her. She took it graciously and sat up to have a couple of sips.
“How’s my Lili doing?” She asked.
Tenzin chuckled, returning the glass to its place. “She’s great. Nowhere close to as cashew as her mother.”
“As cashew?” She deadpanned, her voice stuffy from the clogged sinuses. “Cashews are tough nuts.”
“And you are a tough nut. But you’re soft right now, like soaked cashews used to make curries creamy. We need to harden you up.”
Lin just glared at him like he was stupid.
“Come on, I’m trying to make you feel better.”
Lin managed to roll her eyes. “Your jokes might be hiking my fever.”
Tenzin ran his arm around her back to help ease back into the cushiony embrace of her bed. Lin held his arm for support through her spinning descent. But when she got under the covers without letting go of Tenzin, the airbender slid in by her side and pulled her close. Lin for her part snuggled into his body too, and Tenzin decided that was the perfect moment to press a kiss on her forehead.
His hand snuck in under her cotton nightgown to be greeted by volcanic warm skin. Her fever hadn't broken still and she was clearly very weak. Tenzin wanted to hold her closer and hug all the sickness out of her. But her spirits were high. She was going to fight this out- just not today.
"Tell me," she slurred. "What do you and Lili do together?"
Tenzin smiled, resting his chin on her head. "Well, we talk- she babbles and I speak. But we both hear each other out. She tries to sing along when I sing to her. She's so good about burping after her meals- oh, and- she holds my finger while drinking her milk."
Lin's lips actually widened into a smile. "She holds my finger while I feed her too."
"So that's where she gets it from. I just assumed it was a protection thing—"
"It is. I read somewhere that they feel safe holding onto you. Once she started curling her fingers like that, I slid one finger in and she held on to it the whole hour that she slept."
Tenzin squeezed her affectionately.
"She's not just bonding with us, but she’s also bonding us together," he said.
“I’m sure she’s doing this with Katara too when she feeds her.”
“Well, we are family, right? We’re all bound together.”
Lin sighed. “I can’t breathe against your chest.” She turned around to press her back against his torso and let him spoon her from behind.
“This better?” He asked.
She hummed. “What do you think Lili is doing now?”
Tenzin thought about it for a moment. “Hmm. I think Lili is in the study with my mother. She’s publishing those article for that journal…”
”The Water Within Us—”
”Right! So Lili’s probably keeping her company. Maybe doing some proofreading between naps.”
Lin giggled slightly, easing further into Tenzin’s embrace.
“My little cashew.”
“You’re my little cashew,” Tenzin said, punctuating that remark with a kiss to her ear.
They remained quiet in each other’s embrace for a couple of minutes. Lin was lying on one of Tenzin’s arms that folded across her shoulders while his other arm circled around her waist. Back when they were dating, that arm over her would lead his hand straight onto her breasts. Two pieces in a puzzle. But this time, his hand lay dead on the mattress. The desperation for familiarity was intense but Lin was vulnerable and Tenzin was spoken for. It wouldn’t be right.
Lin stirred, bracing herself for a cough when Tenzin tightened his hold on her.
“Trouble sleeping?” He asked, leaning over to catch a glimpse of her face.
“I’m wide awake,” she said, with her eyes shut.
“Are you sure?” He sounded like he was about to laugh.
“Yes. Everything just spins a little slower with my eyes closed. I have slept enough for a life time.”
“Oh, you’re just resting your eyes then?” He asked coyly.
“No, Tenzin I’m not meditating.”
It was hard to forget all their memories. Lin always teased him that he was really just sleeping through the day and calling it meditation whereas Tenzin was poke fun at Lin’s inherent ability to fall asleep anywhere, which she would defend as just resting her eyes.
He felt the humor in her voice. Everything was not lost. He held her tighter momentarily and before he could lose himself to her, he said, “Well, then what are you thinking of?”
“Lili mostly.”
Tenzin melted. “What about her?”
“Just how I miss her when she’s at the Island with you.”
“You could come to the Island if you liked too. You’re always welcome.”
”Yeah, Tenzin?” She said, through a sniffle. “What about her?”
“What about her? Lili is your daughter and you have every right to—”
”Tenz, does she know you’re here? With me? Without our baby?”
“No, but, she’d understand that I’m here to care for you and—”
”What would she say if she saw you here holding and sleeping with me this way?”
Tenzin exhaled through his nose, afraid of opening his mouth. His body stiffened. His heart tightened. He needed to answer her. Although ths wasn’t the time for that conversation.
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”
Lin spun around to face him. She was definitely hurt, but her voice stung Tenzin’s heart like wild hornet-scorpian on a summer day.
“Just like you did with me?”
“Lin, honey—”
”Don’t,” she whispered.
“I just didn’t think it important for you to know. You were busy fighting those new triads by yourself since Toph left and we weren’t in a good place—”
The eerie sound of Lin sobbing in his arms stopped him in his tracks.
“Lin, it’s really not—”
”Shut up!” She cried. “This is all your fault. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Lila and you wouldn’t dare to love me if you knew I wasn’t going to shut you out! You’ve never wanted me for me. It always had to do with you and your—”
Tenzin didn’t know what came over him. He knew he was holding her. He was aware of her weight on his arm, her breath on his face and her voice ringing through his ears.
Something snapped in the airbender.
“Lin, you fucking told me be with Pema! You told me to find happiness with her. You told me let her birth my airbenders!”
“AND THAT’S THE ONE FUCKING TIME YOU ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME?!”
Lin doubled down. She was a mess of crying and coughing. Tenzin realized he should’ve bit his tongue. He knew she was right. All she did was ask him to wait. Patience is all she needed. He didn’t need to go around brooding and sulking about his issues to his disciples. But that’s how spirituality worked. Nothing was off limits. There were no bounds. It was all freedom. He couldn’t be his authentic self if he was cowering and hiding that very massive obstacle in his life.
Tenzin brushed her hair aside and pulled her up, resting her against the head board while he hastily grabbed the glass of water from the table beside her. He rubbed her back while she coughed. Her face reddened and Tenzin decided that this felt worse than when they actually parted ways.
“Here, drink this.”
Lin didn’t fight him. She drank the water, and sitting upright helped release the tension in her blocked sinuses. Her head was still spinning but if she didn’t see red in that moment, she’d be lying. Only Tenzin could make her feel worse than how pathetic she was already feeling.
“You need to leave,” she said, swallowing.
“I’m sorry,” he confessed like he meant it in earnest. “I- I should leave.”
Tenzin got off the bed, head low, fighting back his own tears.
“That’s all you’re good at,” she mumbled.
The airbender’s eyes widened. He turned back around and stared straight at Lin. He saw a glint of fear in her eyes. He felt like he was on fire and the air within him was only blazing the flame until he burned.
He grasped her face, cupping her cheek. A quick tornado tore through the room. His movement was more aggressive than his actual touch- which was quite gentle. Lin was immobilized, with his eyes piercing through hers.
Tenzin whispered on her mouth, “I’m going to get us back together or I will die trying. Either way, I will finally be free.”