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Chapter Text

emily sighed, closing the folder on her desk and peering through the blinds of her office. all she could hear was ruckus from the team. spencer and luke were sharing their usual banter - tara pulling out the fashionable ‘your mum’ jokes and she even noticed garcia’s bright blue dress near jj’s desk.

seeing jj, her heart dropped. she could tell from the girl’s expression she was getting overwhelmed. she knew how much work jj had to get done today and with all the noise, she doubted she could focus. emily couldnt and see was in a seperate office.

grabbing her coffee cup, she headed out of her office and down the stairs.

“oh emily, you’ll know!” luke said, turning to the raven haired girl. at the mention of emily, jj spun her chair around. emily sent her a little wave, acknowleding it. jj smiled shyly, dropping her head.

“ill know what?” emily asked. she moved closer to the blonde and wrapped an arm around the back of her chair. not caring what the team would think, jj wrapped her arms around emily’s hips, resting her head on her stomach - hiding her face from the group.

“if spencer was going to be an icecream flavour, what would he be?” garcia asked.

“is this what all the noise is about?” emily laughed, rubbing jj’s back.

“were we being too loud?” spencer asked, shocked. jj groaned and nodded into emily making the group smile at her cuteness.

“you could have told us,” garcia chuckled, crouching down to jj but jj whined, moving her head away from penelope’s gaze.

P sent emily a worried look but emily shook it off. she ran her fingers through jj’s hair.

“do you want to go to my office?” emily suggested, quietly but jj shook her head.

“im not little, ive got work to do,” she grumbled. emily laughed - shes definitely slipping.

“i never said anything about being little,” emily smirked and jj groaned again, covering her face.

“go on sweetheart, take some work up there - youll be able to focus,” emily said, tapping jj’s back. jj huffed but packed up her desk, disappearing to emily’s office without a word to anyone.

“im sure you lot all have work to do as well,” emily laughed and walked over to the coffee machine.

ten minutes later, emily returned to her office. jj was typing away on her laptop, focused and emily left her to it. she set a coffee down for her, in her favourite cup and sat herself behind her desk.

it didnt take long for jj to start struggling however. emily shot small glanced at her as she huffed and sighed and wiped her eyes with her knuckles.

“do you need some help?” emily asked gently, in her normal voice - not wanting to patronise the girl.

“no, i’m fine,” jj said back, a hint of sass in her tone.

“how many have you got left?” emily asked, peering over at her laptop.

“erm, i don’t know. i just wanna get it done,” she whined - another tell.

“how about you finish it tomorrow?” emily suggested gently.

“i said that yesterday,” emily heard the little stomps of her feet as she protested her little side.

“and it’s okay to say it again,” emily whispered. she pushed out her chair and tapped her lap.

“come here, jay.”

it was a simple instruction, one that to anyone would seem bossy, demanding but to jj, it was the trigger. instantly, all her nasty big girl thoughts flew to the back of her mind and she got up from her own chair. she practically climbed over the desk to get to emily quicker and sat on her lap.

emily’s hand wrapped around the blondes waist and jj snuggled into em as much as she could. she sighed in content.

“i don’t know why you still fight it little one,” emily chuckled, rubbing her hands though jj’s soft hair. jay huffed, only holding onto emily tighter.

Chapter Text

“eat up baby girl,” emily whispefed, planting a soft kiss to jay’s head as she picked at the remains of her food.

“no more mama,” she grumbled, pushing the plate away.

“not even two bites for me?” emily asked, holding up two fingers. she had noticed the amount jj was eaten recently - not a lot. it was starting to worry her, especially with the younger regressed jj too.

“no mama,” jay whined, kicking her feet.

“okay, we’re gonna give you a bottle before bed then, okay?” emily suggested. jay didn’t replied, just scowled. she knew she couldn’t argue with that one.

jay played in her nursery whilst emily ran the bath, putting a bath bomb in, making it pink. she made sure there was a significant amount of bubbles before calling jj through to the en-suite.

“get nakey baby,” emily teased, grabbing the bottom of jj’s t-shirt. jay laughed and let emily get her undressed. emily tickled her slightly and goosebumps rose on her skin.

“bubbles mama!” jj giggled, laughing loudly as she grabbed some bubbles. her hand, now covered, made its way to emily’s head and em gasped.

“you cheeky girl!” she laughed, holding jj’s waist and blowing a raspberry on her belly. jj giggled loudly, throwing her head back and recoiling from her silly caregiver.

jj splashed and played in the bath, making a mighty mess but emily didn’t mind. she was the absolute cutest. she made herself into santa clause, giving a brilliant impression and even made herself into a lion before becoming a mermaid.

however, emily knew she’d start getting tired very quickly and she knew she had to give her the bottle before she got too tired.

“right, out time!” emily announced after giving jj a few warnings.

“two more minutes mamaaaa,” jj whined, pouting and lowering her shoulders.

“nope! you’ve had plenty of time. it’s sleepy time,” emily said. she grabbed jay’s fluffy towel and held it out to her baby, making sure she was getting out of the bath safely. jj sighed and stood up, she was feeling tired and the bath was getting a little bit cold now.

as soon as she was out the bath, emily wrapped the towel around her tightly and picked her up bridal style. jay laughed and squealed as her mama walked her through the door and into her little room. em teased, pretending to throw her on the bed, causing even more gasps and nervous giggles from the blonde before she dropped her , watching the towel become lose.

“you so silly mama,” jj giggled, rolling onto her belly and then sitting up on her knees.

“i am, just for you,” em giggled, going to grab jay’s pjs.

“mama i wan de turtles!” jj gasped suddenly.

“turtles it issss.” emily walked over to her blonde baby and tackled her back to the bed before drying her off between kisses and raspberries and tickles.

eventually, jj was ready for her bottle yet emily knew it would be a challenge. the blonde kept yawning, rubbing her eyes and being generally clingy towards her mama. prentiss carried jj on her back down the stairs and into the kitchen before setting her on the counter.

“choccy milk?” jj whispefed, sending emily a cheeky smile. emily winked then shook her head.

“why no mama!” jj gasped, crossing her arms angrily. this is what came with a tired baby, grumpiness and very swift mood changes.

“because it’s sleep time, not chocolate time,” emily replied, keeping her tone neutral.

“want choccy milk!” jj whined, kicking her legs. emily ignored it, knowing not to entertain her silliness so late. she made sure the bottle was of adequate heat before walking over to her blonde baby who was still pouting.

“what can mama do to turn that frown upside down?” emily teased, poking jj’s cheeks. she knew she was only superficially grumpy. jj tried to hide her little smile from her mama by covering her mouth entirely.

emily leaned in and whispered in her ear: “if you go sleep with this now, you can have choccy milk for breakfast!” jj gasped and suddenly jumped off the counter - running to her bedroom. emily laughed, following the young girl up. jj was crashed in her little bed and emily handed the bottle which she instantly started drinking. emily got to work on closing the curtains, turning on her night light and mobile before grabbing one of her favourite books. she didn’t say anything as she slid in next to her baby in the bed. jj shuffled, putting her head on emily’s shoulder as the older woman opened the book.

Chapter Text

it had been a few weeks since JJ watched Francesca die and she couldn’t get the girls scream out of her head. no matter what she did.

emily has suggested she have more time off but jj wasn’t taking it - convincing everyone she was fine. everyone else was fine so was she.

they were in the office now and it was a day of paperwork, no new cases. everyone was joking and getting along in the bullpen, but JJ felt so unbelievably vulnerable. today would have been Francesca’s birthday. no one else seemed to care. no one else did care! it made her so mad, so upset.

she blamed herself for what happened to that young girl, she couldn’t not. but all the internalised anger wasn’t healthy.

since that day, she hadn’t been little. not that the team knew that. usually she dealt with it on her own or emily would come over but emily was busier now.

“JJ,” emily said coming down the stairs. “i just sent you an email, can you get it done asap for me please?” she said, walking past. JJ gulped and nodded, opening the email.

there was something wrong on her report. about the case.

she glanced it over and felt her chest go tight. she tried looking over the words but it was too hard, she felt dizzy.

JJ pushed out her chair and turned on her heels.

“JJ, hey,” emily gasped, grabbing her wrist. the whole team were watching her.

“get off,” JJ said, shaking her arm.

“what’s wrong?” emily asked, not letting go.

“i said get off!” JJ screamed, ripping her hand away. “leave me alone! do your own stupid report! leave me alone, get out of my god damn hair emily!” she ran from the room, heading straight to her safe place. she barged in the room, not thinking to knock and slid down the door- sobbing heavily into her arms.

the whole team was shook.

“i only asked her to do a report -“ emily said, perplexed.

“today is Francesca’s birthday,” spencer told the team.

“that girl from the case a few weeks ago?” tara asked.

“oh, no wonder she’s upset-“ luke sighed. the case had upset him too but it took jj to a whole new level.

emily sighed and turned to the team. “does anyone know when she was last small?” she asked, everyone shook their heads. she grabbed a bag from under jj’s desk before heading in the direction of Garcia’s office.

“whoa, pumpkin!” garcia exclaimed, seeing the blonde curl herself up at her door. she got off the chair and huddled next to her.

“JJ,” garcia whispered, stroking the girls hair.

“i sout,” Jay sobbed, her body racking with guilt. “i sout at mama,” she shook her head over and over and penelope sighed.

“that’s okay sweetie, mama won’t mind if you were upset,” penelope told her, grabbing her hand. jay shook her head, crying heavily.

“sout is bad, i bad,” she cried.

garcia sighed again and helped jj off the floor. the girl wasn’t too cooperative but garcia knew emily would come in any minute, she had to make sure the door was free.

“sit here lovely,” penelope whispefed, setting jj in her corner. it was only a small corner, one full of drawings she’d done, a blanket, some toys as well as sensory toys. JJ cried softly, looking around it.

“what’s this, hm?” penelope gasped, holding up JJ’s favourite cat toy.

“meow,” jay whispered back, grabbing it.

“meow to you too little lady,” penelope said softly. she interacted with the young girl, making sure she was distracted and wiped her tears softly.

just as jay was going to curl into garcia’s lap, one of her favourite spots, there was a knock at the door.

“it’s only me,” prentiss said behind it.

“come in,” garcia told her but jj gasped, shaking her head. none the less, the door opened and emily slid in.

“no, no mama,” jj whimpered, pushing herself into the corner.

“hey, it’s okay baby,” emily whispered, crouching beside garcia.

“mama isn’t mad baby, she can’t be mad at your cute face,” penelope chuckled, kissing jj’s cheek as she pushed herself closer.

“i’m not mad baby. reid told me what day it is,” emily whispered, picking up one of jj’s toys. jj didn’t say anything, only lowered her head.

“why didn’t you tell me sweetheart?” emily asked after a few moments.

“i fine bout it,” she shrugged.

“you’re not fine about it jay, because this happened. mama’s told you before about communicating,” emily sighed.

“no one unstan,” jj whispered.

“it doesn’t matter if we understand darling, we need to know if you’re hurting. because mama upset you by giving you the report, if i’d known i would have asked luke to do it!” emily told her.

“b b but he okay wif it,” jj whimpered, shrugging. then it clicked to emily.

“just because someone else has been okay after a case, doesn’t mean you can’t be jay. we all have our triggers, the cases that we struggle with, you’re allowed yours too.”

“i big girl.”

“you are a big girl but emotions don’t make you any less of a big girl,” emily said. she grabbed jj’s hand.

jj put her head on garcia’s shoulder, holding her mama’s hand and her cat toy in the other.

“i sowwy i sout,” she whispered a few minutes later, looking up at em through her eyelashes.

“that’s okay baby, thank you for apologising,” emily replied. she stood up, kissed jj’s head and stretched.

“how about you head home? take garcia with you and you can have a girls day?” emily suggested.

“ooh sugar plum we can go get icecream!” garcia laughed, tickling jj slightly.

“but i a big girl, i work,” jj groaned, throwing up her hands. emily laughed and helped her baby off the floor.

“i don’t think you’re able to get much work done today darling. head home and work on a surprise for mama,” emily giggled, pulling JJ into her arms.

“pwise?” JJ asked, gently. penelope perked up.

“we can make an awesome surprise for mama! let’s head off, hm?”

a few hours later, Jay and Penelope had finished their fort and were starting on their cookies when emily came through the door.

“mama!” JJ cheered, running out of the kitchen - covered head to toe in flour, batter and eggs - she jumped straight into emily’s arms, wrapping her mama in her love.

“well hello baby!” emily laughed, planting kisses to JJ’s face. emily was so, so glad jj was feeling better. sometimes thats all she needed, a little time out.

“i wove you mama,” jj whispered, she put her head on emily’s shoulder as she walked them through the house to the kitchen.

“i love you too baby,” emily replied, smiling ear to ear at her happy girl.

Chapter Text

Today was a big day for the iconic trio. Emily and Garcia had promised little JJ a shopping trip for her birthday. Emily knew Garcia was going to spoil the girl to no end and JJ knew it too!

“Let go! We going be late!” JJ cheered, running to the door. She had her backpack on and the fluffiness

of it was bouncing with the girl.

“I’m coming! I’m coming! Have you got everything?” Emily asked the over-excited girl who was bouncing on her tiptoes at the front door.

“Yes! Let goooo!” She swung the front door opened and ran to the car.

“You’ve got to be on your best behaviour!” Emily warned as they pulled up at the shopping centre.

“Yes, Yes, I know! Let go, have fun!” JJ wiggled in her seat, unable to take her belt off herself.

“Do you remember our rules?” Emily asked, just watching her girl get more and more excited. It was cute, she couldn’t deny that but she also knew that if she wasn’t careful, this day could get out of hand.

“Yes! I do mama!” She cheered, wiggling her little legs.

“Tell me then,” Emily was just teasing at this point.

“Alway hold your hand. No wander off. Pay for everyfin. Ask nicey. Blah blah. I know mama!” She said, tilting her head to the side after each one.

“Okay, good girl. Let’s go find Penny then,” Emily smiled. She unclipped JJ’s seatbelt and they both got out of the car. Instantly, Garcia came running over to them and JJ went running to her.

“Penny!” She cheered loudly.

“JJ!” Garcia giggled with the same enthusiasm.

Half an hour later and they were in their third toy shop.

“I have this one tooo?” JJ asked, running up to a giant, pink squish mallow.

“I’m pretty sure you already have that one at home, love,” Emily laughed and looked at the 8 squish mallows Garcia already had in her basket.

“I not mama! We need this one too,” she said, smiling and putting it on top. “Stay,” she told it and began walking away.

“Jay, do you really need any more?” Emily asked, tilting her head to the side at the blonde plodding around the store.

“Yes, I have to get 20!”

“I don’t think you need 20!” Emily laughed. JJ nodded.

“I think I does,” JJ laughed in response, picking up another and putting it in the basket.

“How about just 10 Jay?” Garcia suggested.

“Otay, 10.” JJ nodded and grabbed one more, turning around and looking at the two intently.

“That’s 11,” Emily giggled, pointing at the one in her arms. JJ pouted.

“I get 11,” she nodded.

“Okay, put it in the basket and then we can go buy clothes!” Garcia said, holding out the basket. JJ cheered and put it in, causing Emily to roll her eyes.

“I want dem in allllll the colours,” JJ sighed, holding up all the hangers for the cropped t-shirts.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you just get three?” Emily said, leaning against the wall.

“But there’s six different colours!” JJ whined.

“But you don’t need six, you have plenty at home and we have bought other tops too.”

“But which colours shall I leave out? I no want to leave them out Mama!” JJ huffed. Magically, Garcia appeared.

“Oh my goodness! They are such pretty colours!” Garcia squealed, instantly taking them all off JJ and putting them in the basket. JJ glanced at Emily and then turned to Garcia.

“I no wowed them alllll,” she grumbled a little bit.

“Nonsense, you can never have too many clothes,” Garcia muttered and grabbed JJ’s hand. “Lunchtime ladies?” Emily only nodded and headed out of the changing rooms, seeing the large smile on JJ’s face because she got what she wanted for the fourth time today. Emily wasn’t ungrateful. She loved that JJ was being treated but she didn’t appreciate her being spoiled. Everything she had said no to today or at least suggested a no to, Penelope had gone behind her back and done it anyway. Emily couldn’t massively argue because this was Garcia’s treat for JJ and she was paying for it all but she couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. She didn’t like JJ being bratty or spoilt because it got to her head and she knew, Emily knew, today would end in tears.

“I wan tacos!” JJ cheered, as they headed out the shop.

“Emily doesn’t like tacos, how about something else?” Garcia suggested, feeling sympathetic.

“Noooo! I want tacos, mama go somewhere else,” JJ giggled, pushing at Emily’s chest a little bit. Emily smiled and just hugged JJ, squeezing her, trying not to get frustrated.

“How about we go get tacos and Em goes to get something else and we meet at that table, over there?” Garcia suggested, pointing to a table. JJ nodded happily and just dragged Garcia away, leaving Emily standing there - no idea what she wanted to eat.

“Do you need any more toys?” Emily asked as they approached another toy shop.

“Of course, she needs more toys!” Garcia giggled, swinging her arm with JJ’s.

“Mhm, more toys!” JJ smiled and swung her arm also. Emily could tell she was getting tired now.

“One more toy shop and then it’s home time then,” Emily said.

“So one more toy shop, one more clothes shop, one more shoe shop… one more everything shop and then a jewellery shop!” Garcia giggled. JJ laughed sweetly too, heading over to the toys.

“Two more shops and then we’re done,” Emily said, sternly.

“Em, she loves it!” Garcia argued, pointing to the sweet blonde plodding through the toys.

“She does yes but she’s tired and the longer we stay out, the grumpier she’ll get,” Emily warned.

“She’s not going to get grumpy on a shopping trip!” Garcia tutted, heading to catch up to her little bestie who was picking her fifth Barbie doll of the day.

Two more shops were down and JJ was getting more and more tired. She was rubbing her eyes and she’d started holding Emily’s hand, wanting her home comforts.

“Right! Say goodbye and we’re going to get going!” Emily said, enthusiastically. However, Garcia whined.

“One more! There was this new sweet shop I wanted to go into!” she explained.

“Sweeties!!” JJ gasped, looking between the two older women.

“No, please no more sweets. She’s had enough and we have bags full!” Emily pleaded.

“Mama pleaseeeeee,” JJ whined, tugging on Emily’s arm.

“Emily, pleaseeeeeee,” Garcia mimicked.

“No. You’ve had enough, it’s home time.” Emily said, shaking her head.

“Mamaaaa, I want sweeties!” JJ huffed, stomping her foot.

“And you have some in this bag, you don’t need more. Come on, say goodbye,” Emily encouraged, trying to keep calm.

“You can never have too many sweets,” Garcia teased and Emily sighed.

“Yeah, you can never have too many sweeties,” JJ giggled, shaking her finger at Emily. Emily grabbed her finger and looked her dead in the eye.

“No.”

However, at the simple, two-letter word, JJ’s lip began to wobble.

“Oh come on, no water works. You have sweets, you’re tired. It’s time to go home,” Emily said, wrapping her arm around her young girl.

“Sweeties!” JJ huffed, stomping her foot more. This is what happens when she has been allowed everything she wants all day.

“Oh, how can you say no to that face?” Garcia whined, looking at Emily sadly.

“You have to. Or else you get this every time,” Emily sighed. “You’ve let her have everything she’s asked for all day, even when I said no.” Emily laughed it off a little bit and moved to sit JJ on a nearby bench. She huffed and wiggled as Emily pushed her shoulders down so she sits but eventually let her. Emily bent down in front of her, looking up at JJ’s sad eyes.

“I know you’re tired,” Emily said gently. JJ grumbled in reply. “How about we head home now and then on the way home, you can have some sweets in this bag?” Emily suggested.

“B- but I wan more sweeties from de shop Penny wanted go to,” she mumbled, throwing around her arms and huffing.

“I know but I’ve said no. It’s home time now,” Emily reiterated.

“Why?” She whined loudly.

“Because I’m saying so. I think you’re tired and ready for a nap.”

“I not tired mama,” JJ whispered, shaking her head. “I pomise.”

“Jay,” Emily was sterner now. “Mama has said it’s time to go so it’s time to go. Say goodbye to Penny please,” she said. She stood up as she knew she wasn’t getting anywhere with talking to her.

“Noooo!” JJ whined, throwing back her head. Garcia sighed, looking at the young girl. She was throwing about her hands and she threw herself onto the bench - having a genuine toddler tantrum.

“This, Penelope, is why we don’t spoil her,” Emily sighed. Seeing it now, Garcia did feel bad so she headed over to JJ. She put her hand on her back and bent down to see her crying face.

“You head home now and tomorrow, I’ll bring you some sweets from that shop,” she suggested.

“Pomise?” JJ sniffled.

“I promise baby, do you want to give me a goodbye cuddle?” JJ nodded and sat up softly. She wiped her eyes and then wrapped her arms around Garcia.

“An a goodbye kiss,” she mumbled, pursing her lips. Penelope smiled and kisses JJ’s lips innocently and JJ turned to Emily.

“You ready now grumpy bum?” Emily teased, holding her hand out for JJ. JJ just glared at her before taking her hand and then leaned in for a side cuddle.

“Bye Pen, see you tomorrow. Thank you for a good day,” Emily said, waving at Penelope. “Have you said thank you?” She reminded JJ. JJ quickly shook her head and ran back to give Garcia another hug.

“Than’ you, you the bestest ever!” she whispered and squeezed her tight before heading back to Emily.

The car journey home was very quiet because JJ was asleep before they’d even left the car park. It didn’t surprise Emily, she knew it was going to happen.

She had had a good day, she really had. She’s glad JJ enjoyed herself and she knew she deserved such a good gift because she’d been really well-behaved recently - it just sometimes went too far. But not every day was going to be perfect with a toddler and Emily knew that. She was just glad it was all under control now.

Chapter Text

“JJ,” Reid mumbled from behind the trees. From her spot under the window, she looked over at him and saw him motioning for her to go further down. She shook her head, she didn’t want to go further. “This is our only chance, we don’t have time to wait for the rest of the team!” Reid scolded and JJ rolled her eyes. She knew he was right - they needed to catch this unsub today. Now, even. JJ began creeping up the wall, heading closer to the garage door.

Then it all happened so fast. To Reid, one second JJ was there then she wasn’t. There was no noise, no footsteps, not even a flash of light - she completely disappeared. Like a ghost.

Then the SUVs started to arrive and the other FBI agents poured out of the cars, guns at the ready and torches flashing along the scene. Derek saw Reid’s confused face, surveying the area JJ was just in and called him over.

“What’s wrong Reid?” he asked. “Where’s the unsub?”

“JJ-” he muttered, looking around for her.

“JJ? What about JJ?” Derek asked then Emily came over.

“Where is she?” She asked, panic clear in her voice. “Reid!”

“I- I don’t know. She just disappeared,” he mumbled, growing more and more confused.

“Disappeared?” Morgan questioned.

“She was here and then she wasn’t -”

“She’s gone?” Emily asked. REid only nodded and Emily’s heart dropped. JJ couldn't be gone. Not her JJ - her girl.

“JJ!” Morgan screamed, heading off into the woods, with his torch. The rest of the team heard the commotion and Emily informed them that their sweet girl was gone.

The team searched and searched the grounds. They found the unsubs lair, his computers, his tools - but not him nor JJ. Emily was stressed, Derek still hadn’t calmed down and Reid was silent - blaming himself. Rossi was trying to keep everyone else calm. Tara was still hunting for her.

—

“Guys…” Garcia cried - heading into the round table room. The team were all there after the five long hours with stressful situations they were still worried sick about JJ, unable to go home and rest knowing their sweet girl was there being hurt, possibly dead.

“Guys,” Garcia repeated and dropped her laptop screen to the monitor - projecting a picture no one in there wanted to see. Tara gasped, her hand coming to her mouth. Derek pushed his chair out and stood up, anger rising for the unsub. Rossi lowered his head, unable to watch and Emily stood there - watching her little girl be hit over and over and over.

JJ cried out on the video. She screeched and whimpered in pain each time the stick hit her. Then she cried out the one word Emily prayed to not hear- not now, not in this situation. She cried for her mama.

Emily sat in a chair, unable to hold herself up with shock and pain.

“Garcia, where is this coming from?”

“I can’t trace it,” Garcia spoke. “I’m trying but-” she tapped away on her computer, making sure she couldn’t see the screen where her best friend and best little mate was being hurt. “He is streaming from an anonymous source on a highly blocked website on the dark web. I was sent the link anonymously from a random email which is also untraceable. I cant-”

“Mama! Please, Mama!” JJ’s scream came through the monitor and the entire team turned to look at the screen. Everyone was in shock.

JJ was sitting in a dark room, strapped to a chair. Her ankles and wrists were tied and she sobbed as the unsub circled her. She was confused, small and very, very scared.

“Plea,” she whimpered.

“Speak properly you stupid baby!” He screamed, hitting her again with the stick and JJ cried out in pain. So far it was only the stick hitting her but the team knew it would get worse - knowing what they found in his garage earlier that day.

“I no done bad,” JJ cried again, trying to reason with the unsub. But she couldn’t. Poor little JJ had no idea what was happening. She regressed as soon as she fell into the hole. When she woke up from the hit on her head, she was strapped to the chair and even smaller. She didn’t know what was happening and she didn’t know why her mama wasn’t helping her. She didn’t know where her mama was but her mama promised she’d always, always be safe. She didn’t feel safe.

“Fuck!” Emily screamed, hitting the desk and walking out of the room. She couldn’t stand seeing her little girl like that - she didn’t want to see it. But she had to, she had to try and figure out where she was. She felt sick. She wanted nothing more than to wrap JJ in her arms, hold her, kiss her, and love her. She shook with anger and fear as she stood in the corridor. She couldn’t lose her girl. JJ was her entire world. No matter what headspace she was in, Emily loved that girl with every single cell in her body. No matter how much JJ wound Emily up the wall, no matter how much she pushed her away - Emily couldn’t live without her.

—

“I nee toilet,” JJ whimpered as the unsub came back into the room.

“So?” He laughed, throwing a bucket of soapy water on JJ. JJ cried out from the cold and shivered as her body went numb, causing an accident.

“Peas wet me go,” she begged, pleading with him as water ran down her face, into her eyes and mouth.

“No.” He told her. “You’re pathetic,” he laughed and pulled at her. He yanked the chains from around her wrists and she wiggled her hands. “Arms up,” he told her and she listened - raising her hands. He removed her t-shirt, leaving her in her bra before standing her up.

She whispered as she was dragged around the dark room, feeling so vulnerable.

“I wan mama,” she told him softly.

“I want you to shut the fuck up!” he screamed in her face and she cried out. He dropped her on the cold floor and then tied her feet to some chains on the floor. She cried and tried to wiggle away, fighting as she knew how but he only hit her across the face - quickly stopping her. When tied up, he forced her to her feet and bent her over the desk before going and getting his whip.

“Turn it off,” Tara said just before the unsub threw down the first hit. Garcia didn’t need to be told twice.

“Ive started the trace but it will take a few hours,” Garcia sighed, rubbing her eyes. She couldn’t stand this - none of them could.

“A couple of hours? We don’t have that long Garcia!” Emily groaned, standing up. Garcia flinched, looking at her boss.

“It’s better than nothing,” Rossi interjected. “We’ve got the ball rolling and we can try different things whilst we wait.”

“You want me to sit here and do nothing?” Emily cried, throwing up her arms.

“We all care about her Prentiss,” Morgan said. “Don’t act like we don’t. We all want her out of there safe.”

“I know you do,” Emily whispered, dropping back into her chair and lowering her head. “I just can’t imagine what she's feeling right now.”

The unsub had tied JJ up, hanging her from the ceiling by her arms. She was cold, freezing cold from the water and the lack of a T-shirt. Her back was in so much pain, blistered, bleeding and bruising - so was her bottom. She wanted her mama more than anything. She didn’t mean to be naughty, she didn’t know what she did but she didn’t mean to be bad. She sobbed in the dark. Rain hammered on the ceiling and JJ didn’t like storms as it is, never mind now. She could hear the horses in the fields outside. She could hear the pigs too and giggled as they made their oinking noises. She copied them - remembering the time her mama took her to the farm to see all the pigs and cows. She oinked in reply to the pigs then and now, giggling as they seemed to converse with her.

“The pigs! Can you hear them?” Reid gasped, standing up. “Garcia turn it up.” Garica instantly turned the sound up and the whole team heard the rain and the pigs and horses outside.

“Maps, right now,” Emily demanded. “Look for any farmlands in the area who own cows and pigs-” she said. Then Reid jumped up, to his map on the wall.

“He has to be within a five miles radius because between the time JJ was taken and the live stream started he couldn’t have got that far…” he studied his map and then drew a circle.

“There are three farmlands in that area that own horses and pigs,” Garcia said.

“Add the weather report, it's raining really hard. Can you hear the thunder too?” Morgan asked, turning the volume up more. At the sudden burst of thunder and flash of lightning, JJ jumped. She cried out for Emily and began to cry even harder.

Twenty minutes later and the team were pulling up to the farm. Everyone jumped out of their cars and headed into the barn, knowing JJ was there. However, the unsub had her in his arms.

JJ gasped, seeing Emily and tried to scramble from his arms but his grip only tightened and he pressed the barrel of the gun closer to her temple.

“MAMA!” JJ screamed, with every single effort in her body.

“It’s okay!” Emily gasped, speaking to JJ. “Mama’s here but you have to stay still,” she said softly.

“Mama,” JJ cried, trying hard to escape.

“Shut the fuck up!” the unsub screamed in her ear and JJ stopped in his arms. She cried softly to herself.

“Let her go,” Derek told the unsub.

“What’s in it for me?” he laughed.

“You won’t get a life sentence for killing an FBI agent,” he said.

The unsub laughed loudly, “She’s hardly an adult never mind an FBI agent.”

“If you don’t let her go, we’ll kill you,” Reid told him.

“You’d kill me if I killed her as well,” he whispered, cocking the gun.

“JJ,” Emily said suddenly. “Look at me.” JJ opened her eyes and landed them on Emily. Emily tried the one thing she hoped she’d never have to do but she didn’t have any other options. “Do you remember when mama told you about the cakes and the biscuits?” she asked. JJ cried and nodded softly.

“I need you to dunk the biscuit,” Emily said softly but JJ shook her head.

“I hurtin mama,” she cried.

“I know, I know.” Emily whispered and took a step forward but the unsub pointed the gun at Emily - stopping her in his tracks.

As soon as the gun was no longer on her, JJ ducked and knocked the unsub over. She hit his arm backwards, forcing the gun from his hand. A shot was fired and JJ scrambled away as the unsub reached for her and his gun. Derek and Reid advanced on the unsub as JJ ran to Emily.

“You left me!” the blonde instantly screamed as she hit Emily, causing her to go tumbling back.

“Baby, I-”

“No! No! No No!” JJ screamed, backing away from her mama as she opened her arms. “You left me! You pomise Mama!” She shouted. Tears flooded her face from the fear of everything.

“I’m so sorry Jay,” Emily cried. “You’re safe now,” she told the young girl.

“You fault,” JJ whimpered. She ran from Emily as sirens started outside. She crawled into the corner of the room where she sobbed heavily into her crossed arms. It was all too much for her small brain to comprehend. Fighting back for her mama, she did what she was told - she dunked the biscuit but she didn’t feel safe. She needed her mama but her mama left her there.

“Mama,” she sobbed into her arms, so confused about what she wanted.

Emily walked up to the small girl in the corner, her blanket and paci in her hand. She didn’t say anything, just sat beside her. JJ didn’t look up, knowing it was Emily. She handed JJ the paci and the girl snatched it off her, putting it in her mouth - her ultimate comfort. Emily then threw JJ’s blanket over her shoulder before picking up the blonde. Jay wrapped her arms and legs around Emily and buried her head in her neck.

“Mama’s got you.”

---

They were in a private room at the hospital and JJ was causing a huge fuss.

“Jay, please,” Emily begged as the girl pulled at the wires repeatedly. She had ripped her bandages off twice already, no matter how much Emily tried to stop her. She fought with the nurses, with the team and she didn’t dare let anyone near her. She fell asleep in Emily’s arms on the way to the hospital to be checked over but as soon as she woke up, she was a menace. They hooked her up to an IV after taking her blood. She’d been hostage for ten hours, she wasn’t exactly okay. She wouldn’t eat and her body was so full of cuts and bruises, it was weak. She had a large bandage around her torso to help her back which had become infected from the barn and her foot was strapped up since she’d sprained her ankle too. Emily had tried everything she could think of to get her to calm down but because JJ wouldn’t let her near her, it made it harder.

She wouldn’t stop crying or screaming. She pulled at her hair and it came out in chunks, she scratched at her skin, making it bleed and she just wanted all the noise in her head to stop. She didn’t want to remember the smell of the barn or the feeling of his hands on her.

“No! Stop making noise!” She screeched and picked up her phone before launching it at the heart monitor which had been beeping and whirring.

“JJ!” Emily gasped, rising to her feet. A nurse came in, shocked at the commotion. The machine was cracked and JJ was just staring at it then turned to glare at Emily. “I know you’re stressed, sweetheart. I know you’re upset and tired but you can’t do this baby,” she whispered softly. JJ just huffed.

“You left,” she sobbed at Emily.

“I didn’t baby. I was trying so hard to find you.” Emily replied.

“I was alone,” she cried more.

“I know,” Emily whispered. She sat beside her on the bed.

“It’s all your fault!” JJ screamed, kicking at the covers, causing Emily to get up. “All your fucking fault!” Emily let the abuse be thrown at her, knowing JJ needed to get it out of her system.

“Agent Jareau, you’re bleeding through your bandages again, we need to change them. We’re going to have to get you a new monitor as well. Do you understand that this behaviour inside the hospital is not accepted and if you proceed to be violent with the nurses and doctors we will sedate you?” the head doctor said, coming through the doors.

“I don’t need sedating!” JJ cried out, throwing up her arms.

“JJ, please calm down,” Emily sighed.

“Why? Why so you don’t have to fucking deal with me anymore?” JJ screamed, sitting up, despite the pain she was in.

“Agent, you need to lie back,” the nurse said but JJ ignored her.

“So you can just let me be hurt over and over again like you just did! Emily, I needed you so bad and you weren’t there!” JJ cried. EMily’s heart broke seeing the hot tears streaming down her girl’s face. The rest of the team were outside and Emily knew they could hear her. Emily knew there was nothing she could say which would rationalise JJ’s thoughts.

“I understand you’re angry at me Jay, I do,” Emily said softly, walking closer to her. “But you need to calm down. You’re only hurting yourself more.”

“Agent, we really need to sort you out, you’re bleeding a load,” the nurse said, moving closer to JJ but JJ flipped. Suddenly, the wires were out of her arms, hanging from the machines. The machines grew louder. JJ threw herself out of the bed- pushing over the metal tray and letting the things crash against the floor. She launched at Emily, leaning on one foot and then, she fell limp as the doctor injected her with the sedative.

“I’m sorry,” Emily said as they got JJ situated back into the bed, now unconscious.

“It’s okay, we understand,” the doctor reassured her. “She’s not the first difficult patient.”

An hour later, JJ began to stir. They had cleaned her up, replaced the broken equipment and got her more comfortable. Upon request from Emily, Garcia had brought some of her favourite food whilst Tara fetched her little stuff.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Garcia asked as JJ’s little fist reached up to rub her eyes.

“I hope so,” Emily replied, moving to sit beside her girl. JJ’s eyes flittered open to reveal bloodshot and tired ones and she looked around the room rapidly.

“Hey my love,” Emily muttered, running her thumb across the girl’s hot cheek. JJ didn’t respond, only blinked softly at her mama and Emily sent her a small smile. “How are you feeling baby?” She held up 10 fingers, JJ knowing their little code. She put Emily’s fourth finger down, telling her mama she was tired and then she put her fifth down, telling her mama she was sad.

“That’s okay. It’s okay to be sad,” Emily whispered back. “Would you like a cuddle?” Jj nodded her head, moving over so Emily could squeeze in beside her. Emily smiled widely, she was glad her baby was more accepting now. Although obviously smaller and now nonverbal, it’d be a lot easier to manage her.

Emily laid back with JJ’s head on her chest. Tara joined the pair, sitting on the end of the bed and spoke softly to JJ about what she wanted to watch on her iPad. JJ obviously only responded with grunts and shakes of the head but Tara didn’t mind that, feeling content that her girl was finally content. Finally, Garcia came over with JJ’s favourite teddy and her blanket. JJ grabbed them and cuddled them close to her chest, rubbing the soft corner of the blanket on her face.

“What do you say to Penny?” Emily encouraged, hooking some of JJ’s hair behind her ear. JJ signed a quick thank you before snuggling back into her mama. Now, she had her mama, paci, shows, blanket and teddy - she would be content for the rest of the night. And tomorrow, she’d be able to go home.

The next day, Emily and JJ were heading home. JJ hadn’t spoken to her all morning, or since last night at the hospital even. Emily wasn’t quite sure what to do with her. She was small and quiet and clingy but not clingy to the point of whiny. If Emily wasn’t there, she was just anxious but she hadn’t really made a noise other than the odd grumble or whine in pain. If Emily was there, she did her little grabby hands and she clung to her but as soon as Em put her down, she let her without doing anything. Her fists were all bruised up, as were her face and whole body really. It hurt Emily to see her like this but she knew she’d be okay. She knew her girl would get through it.

“Would you like to go to bed?” Emily asked JJ softly as they entered the house but JJ shook her head. She still hadn’t let go of her blanket, teddy or paci so plodded into the house with them. She headed for the stairs, and Emily just let her go where she needed.

She watched as JJ let herself into her nursery and then went to see what she was doing. JJ was laying under her canopy, curled up with all of her teddies, pillows, and blankets and her eyes were closed. She’d wrapped it all around herself and sighed softly. For the first time in two days, Emily saw her girl looking completely relaxed. Not wanting to disturb her too much, she put on her nightlight before closing her blind. JJ watched her softly walk around her bedroom and then grab a book. Emily snuggled up behind JJ, wrapping her arm around her stomach and she kissed her head gently. She opened the book and began to read. JJ sighed peacefully, feeling a lot better now at home and she buried her head in her mama’s neck as her mama read her favourite storybook.

Chapter Text

“Jay! It’s time to go baby, come on,” Emily shouted, grabbing the car keys.

“Coming mama!” JJ shouted back from the living room. She skipped out of the room with her bunny in her hand.

“Bunny stays here angel,” Emily said gently.

“Oh please mamaaaa, I leave her in car,” she whispered softly, fluttering her eyelashes at the older woman.

“Hm, okay fine. Come on then!”

Emily and JJ were off to their little’s playgroup today. This was a small group, with only about 6 littles in it, but it was JJ’s happy place. Luke was in it too, with his caregiver Garcia. JJ loved going every other week. When she missed it because of work - she got really upset. Today, was their summer games! Emily and JJ, being super competitive were very excited to win all the games.

They arrived and JJ skipped up to her little friend, Elle. They wrapped their arms around each other and gave each other big cheek kisses as usual.

“Me an mama gone beat you so hard!” JJ teased and Emily laughed, wrapping her arm around JJ’s shoulders.

“Let's not be cheeky,” she warned gently but Elle smiled widely.

“Nuh uh.. Me an dada are going to win the mostest!”

Once everyone arrived, the teams got dressed in their colours. JJ and Emily went with purple. First up was the egg and spoon race - nice and simple.

“I got dis mama, I gon do super good!” JJ said gently, jumping up and down in front of Emily.

“Okay, you got this. A nice steady hand and fast walk yeah - like holding the gun,” Emily giggled. JJ gasped and covered her mouth, giggling quietly.

“I not gon shoot anyone with the egg mama!”

“You might need to if you’re losing,” Emily teased and JJ fell into more laughter.

“To the starting lines!” Danielle, the group leader bellowed. JJ kissed her mama quickly before running towards the purple stripe on the grass. She was handed her spoon and then her egg which she made sure was perfectly balanced before positioning the spoon correctly in her hands.

“That’s my girl,” Emily cheered from the sidelines and a wide smile spread on JJ’s face.

“I so gon beat you,” Elle giggled in her green t-shirt from beside the blonde.

“Nuh uh,” JJ giggled back.

“I gon beat you bofs!” Meg cheered.

“On your marks!” Danielle cheered. Emily watched as JJ wiggled her bum in anticipation.

“Go!”

Instantly, all the little ones set off. JJ, of course, was first. Elle wasn’t far behind. Megs fell to the back but being the youngest it was expected. Jordan was nearly catching up to Elle. Luke was third. The caregivers stood on the sidelines, cheering on their little ones.

“Come on Jay! Quick!” Emily chanted as JJ was about to cross the line. She came first with Elle just behind her.

“And first place goes to JJ!” Danielle announced and JJ jumped with joy. She dropped the egg and spoon, jumping into Emily’s arms.

“I did it, Mama!” She screeched.

“I knew you could baby!” Emily praised, giving JJ a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek.

The next race was a caregiver race. The sack race. They decided to let the caregivers do this one to avoid injuries to the little ones. Emily climbed into her purple sack, just beside Gideon and Kate who were in their own sacks.

“You’re going down old man,” Emily sneered, sticking her tongue out at Gideon.

“Oh don’t try me, Prentiss,” he laughed and shook his head, sending a wink over to Elle.

“I’ll have you know, I’m going to win for my boy!” Garcia mumbled from the end of the line.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kate rolled her eyes. “Good luck losers.”

The race began and all the caregivers began their sort of hopping/ jumping towards the finish line. There were lots of ‘mamas’ and ‘dadas’ being shouted from the overcompetitive little ones. JJ was feral, however.

“Go! Go! Go mama!” she screamed in a deep voice, clapping Emily along. Kate was first though, Emily not far behind. “Mama you got to win!” JJ continued. “I beeve in you!”

Emily, feeling empowered by her baby’s words, jumped harder. Then few more jumps and she crossed the finish line just before Kate did. However, in a sack, Emily fell face-first into the grass.

“Mama! You did it!” JJ praised, running up to Emily who was sprawled on the ground. She’d rolled herself onto her back and looked up as the blonde-haired beauty appeared in front of the sun.

“I knew you could do it, mama,” JJ giggled, leaning down to kiss Emily on the head.

“Thank you, baby,” Emily smiled.

“Now get up, it my race gain!” JJ laughed as she ran off in the direction of the little ones.

Next, was the obstacle course. The little ones had to hop on some spots, spin around the poles and do some skips on the skipping rope before balancing for three seconds on the balance beam and running back to the beginning.

“You got this my baby!” Emily said to JJ softly, rubbing her shoulders as she stood at the starting line.

“I total got this mama,” JJ repeated.

Of course, JJ won again. She was the most athletic of all the littles and she flaunted that.

Next was another caregiver's game. They had to see who would jump rope the longest.

“Okay mama, you have to bounce bounce bounce - yeah?” JJ advised.

“Bounce - got it!” Emily laughed, cupping JJ’s cheeks.

“You got this my mama,” she said softly as Emily went to the skipping rope lying on the ground.

Emily won with Garcia close behind her.

“Mama!” JJ cheered again, jumping onto Emily’s back with glee. Emily laughed and held her girl close to her, soaking up the excited and sweet JJ she was receiving. There was something so pure about her little one being so free and innocent. She loved seeing her Jay like this, rather than built up with all her anger. “You the bestest,” JJ whispered, wrapping her arms securely around Emily’s shoulders and resting her head on Emily’s head.

The games all continued and JJ and Emily came first in every single one. JJ had stayed with the same enthusiasm and joy throughout the entire day but her winning streak was beginning to give her a big head.

“I win you lose,” she chanted to Luke during their lunch break. Luke made a foul face before stomping off. Emily sighed then, just as JJ turned to do the same to Elle and Megs.

“Jay,” Emily said softly, calling her girl over.

“Comin mama!” JJ cheered, skipping over to Emily. Emily was sitting on the grass and JJ sat at the side of her, leaning her head on Emily’s shoulder. Emily passed her her sippy cup which she gratefully accepted and then Emily began the slow, quiet lecture.

“You’ve done a really good job winning all the games today, angel. Mama is super proud of you,” she began. JJ giggled and nodded.

“I poud you mama,” she replied, kissing Emily’s shoulder. Em smiled before wrapping an arm around JJ’s waist, bringing her closer.

“You’ve done so well Jay but mama is going to ask you something, just once okay?” Jay looked up at Emily, furrowing her eyebrows. “When you win, I don’t want you to be cheeky and mean to the other people that didn’t win. It’s okay having some laughs with them, telling them you’re going to win but sometimes you have to take other people’s emotions into consideration with what you say to them.”

“Mama it just tease,” JJ tried to interject.

“Ah. I know some of it is but when you tell them that they’ve lost that upsets their feelings,” Emily replied.

“It doesn’t,” JJ argued.

Emily sighed, “Sweetheart, I don’t want to argue with you. You’ve had such a good day, all I’m saying is that you need to be nicer to your friends.”

“I is nice,” JJ huffed, crossing her arms.

“Just be careful what you’re saying to people, my love,” Emily whispered, pulling JJ closer to her.

The last race was a rally running race between everyone! Emily was going first and then JJ was to take the baton and finish it.

“We’ve got this baby!” Emily said happily, giving JJ big high-fives.

“We got this mama!” There was no doubt that JJ was the fastest in the BAU so never mind her little’s playgroup.

“On your marks!” Danielle announced. Everyone ran to their spots and Emily threw the baton between her two hands. JJ stood in position, ready to take the baton.

“Get set!”

“Go!” The first set of people began running and Emily went halfway around the track. She wasn’t first, with Jordan in front of her but she didn’t mind as she knew JJ would out run anyone. Emily reached JJ and handed her the baton. JJ set off immediately but in the next second, Luke crashed into her side.

JJ toppled to the side, falling hard on her hip and bagning the side of her head on the track. Not having enough time to stop, Elle came tumbling over JJ, kicking her in the back in the progress. Immediately, cries echoed around the track and the race stopped.

“Whoa!” Emily shouted, heading to JJ’s side. She helped Luke off the floor, who had tumbled onto JJ and she scampered around to see her little’s face. Her head was bleeding and she was crying in pain.

“Okay baby, can you sit up for me?” Emily whispered gently. JJ cried more and more people crowded around. Thankfully, Jj managed to roll onto her back, her head was really the biggest concern.

“Can you hear me baby?” Emily asked, stroking JJ’s cheek. JJ nodded. “How many fingers have I got up?” She asked again.

“Three,” JJ replied, sobbing to herself.

“Good girl, you’re okay,” Emily whispered, stroking her back. Danielle arrived with the first aid kit then, opening it up and taking out an antiseptic wipe.

“No no,” JJ cried as it touched her head, she moved away from it and closer to Emily.

“We’ve got to clean it up baby, it might have sand it in,” Emily sighed, wrapping her arms around JJ.

“Mama,” JJ sobbed into her mama’s chest. Emily held JJ’s head still whilst Danielle got to work on cleaning it. JJ cried more but stayed still, knowing it needed doing.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well,” EMily praised, kissing JJ’s head and stroking her back.

“It’s just a graze really, it will most likely bruise though,” Danielle said. “She’ll probably get a bump but she’ll be okay.”

“See you’ll be okay my love,” Emily whispered, rocking JJ in her arms, trying to calm down her cries. “Mama’s got you, it’s okay.”

Once JJ was up standing and off the track, the race began again. JJ didn’t want to run this time, feeling sorry for herself. She stood on the sidelines, scuffing her feet on the grass. She’d asked to go home, embarrassed but Emily and Danielle had asked her to stay for the awards at the end. They just had to finish this race and then they’ll get them. JJ and Emily had won the most points so were getting the top prize but they were doing participation pirizes too.

“We go sit down mama?” JJ whispered, turning to Emily.

“We can go sit down, you okay?”

“It hurt,” she sighed, tapping her head.

“I’ll get you some painkillers when we’re back in the car angel,” Emily said gently, kissing the uninjured side of JJ’s head. JJ nodded. Emily sat in the grass and JJ sat inbetween her legs, leaning back into her mama. Emily wrapped her arms tightly around JJ’s waist, holding her baby girl close.

“The biggest smile prize today goes to Jordan!” Danielle announced. Jordan smiled and ran up to get her trophy before taking a bow and accepting the claps and cheers.

“The best boy today goes to Luke!” Danielle announced and Garcia cheered louder than everyone else as Luke ran up to receive his trophy.

“The best sport today goes to Megs!”

“The loudest cheerer today goes to Elle!”

“And finally, last but not least, the one with the most points today - who out did everyone incredibly and worked super hard to do so… the best of the day prize goes to JJ.” JJ slowly got up from her mama’s arms and walked up towards the podium. She took a big bow before taking her trophy and running back to Emily, sheepishly.

“I’m so proud of you today baby,” Emily said gently as they climbed into the car.

“Fan woo,” she mumbled, snuggling up with ehr teddy.

“Nap time?”

“Mhm, go long way.”

Chapter Text

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” Morgan chuckled as Emily and JJ entered the bullpen. They were arguing like cat and dog - well JJ was arguing back to a very reasonable Emily.

“Carry on and you’re going home,” Emily groaned, dropping JJ’s bag on her desk and heading up to her own office. JJ groaned and sat down in her chair, crossing her arms and huffing.

“What’s the little miss done today then?” Morgan teased, turning to the teenage regressed JJ. JJ had a few different headspaces, ranging from baby to child to teen. The team had experienced them all but Emily knows them all very well. She knows that despite JJ’s efforts, she will not get any work done, she will be a sassy, grumpy bitch all day and she’ll distract everyone but Emily also promised she’d let JJ try.

“She wouldn’t let us get Mcdonald’s for breakfast,” JJ grumbled and began fussing with her desk.

“Did you know that 36.6% of Americans consume fast food each day?” Reid spoke up, looking over his computer. JJ rolled her eyes, not appreciating his commentary.

“Did you know that no one likes know-it-alls?” she remarked which caused a stern cough to come from Emily’s office.

“That’s strike one,” Emily said, walking up behind JJ.

“Come on!” JJ groaned loudly, throwing up her arms. “Swear to god she has a microphone on me,” she whined, looking over at Morgan who was very amused by JJ’s headspace, as always.

“To the roundtable!” The team suddenly heard Garcia shout as she came hurrying into the bullpen. Emily internally sighed, now she had to deal with a case and a teen JJ.

“To fight criminals!” JJ cheered, sarcastically and headed to the roundtable with some other members of the team.

Rossi walked alongside Prentiss, sighing at JJ’s antics.

“Tough night?” he asked her just just rolled her eyes.

“You have no idea,” she said, entering the room. JJ was already off arguing with Reid about something.

“Penelope, back me up. We don’t like being invalid-”

“JJ quit being rude or you’re getting strike two,” Emily told her and took a seat beside Reid. She put her hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear: “Please don’t take anything to heart.” He nodded and closed his lips tight. He knew JJ wasn’t herself like this, he knew that teen JJ was a hurt, struggling and confused young girl who needed support and guidance but he could never comprehend her not being his best friend. Reid was the one who got the most confused and awkward with JJ’s regression - especially at the start. He’s more open to it now, especially if the rest of the team is around but it didn’t help him when she was targeting him.

JJ surprisingly stayed quiet for the rest of the briefing. She got on the plane and slid in next to Emily, in her usual spot. The team were all ready to go and solve the case, they all had their game heads on but JJ, not quite. She was in her own world, thinking about everything.

She knew she got on Emily’s nerves in this headspace- it was obvious. She knew she got herself in trouble yet no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t not do what she did. Things fell out of her mouth without thinking about them and although she felt guilty, she couldn’t apologise because that just wasn’t her. She was tough, she had to protect herself and she couldn’t be vulnerable to do that.

“We land in 10, are you ready?” Emily asked, turning to the blonde.

“Hm?” she turned to Emily, not hearing what she said.

“We land in 10, are you ready to go?” Emily repeated, checking JJ’s expression. Her eyes were distant and her expression emotionless. “You okay?”

“Fine,” JJ nodded. She was fine. She was always fine.

Entering the precinct, JJ began putting the pictures up on the board - half in, half out of her headspace. She was struggling and it was clear to Emily and everyone else that she was struggling yet she kept her guard up, not letting anyone in. Emily was a little lost too, usually, she kept JJ out of the field when in her headspace but she was and then she wasn’t. Emily wanted to keep an eye on her girl but at the same time, hoped sticking herself into work would distract her.

“Rossi, Morgan and Reid, head to the crime scene, we need an idea of how it played out,” Emily said, picking up a folder and handing it to Derek. “Tara and Luke, you’re going to go meet the victim’s family at the hospital. We need to start on victimology,” she told them two. They all headed out and Garcia perked up on the phone.

“And me boss?”

“Delv further into victimology, we need to figure out why his third victim was allowed to live and the others not,” Emily told her.

“On it. Over and out,” Garcia said and the phone hung up. Leaving Emily and JJ the only ones in the room. There was glass separating them from the rest of the local precinct so Emily wasn’t too obvious but she walked over to JJ, who was standing by the board, head down.

“Are you alright, JJ?” Emily asked softly, putting her hand on JJ’s arm.

“I’m fine,” JJ whispered, moving her arm away and opening the file in her hand.

“JJ,” Emily said in a warning tone, moving closer to the girl again.

“I said, I’m fine!” JJ suddenly shouted. She threw down the file and headed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Emily stood there in shock - she was as quiet as a mouse then suddenly screamed. She was not fine. Prentiss decided to leave her, noticing she only went to the coffee machine. She could see her, that’s what was important.

After about ten minutes, she sent her a text with some information Garcia and Morgan had acquired and she noticed JJ beginning to head back to the office, with two coffees. Emily had left some files on the desk for her, along with some highlighters and a pen. JJ sat in the seat and got stuck in. They didn’t have to communicate. Between them, it’s like they had their own unspoken language.

The team were back together in time for lunch and Derek offered to take JJ to get it but JJ didn’t want to, shaking her head angrily and huffing because she was disturbed.

“Alright baby girl, be like that!” he laughed, throwing the keys at Reid.

“Like what Morgan?” JJ suddenly asked. She stood up with such force her chair fell over but she didn’t even flinch. “Go on… like what?” she teased.

“You’re just so grumpy, you need to chill out a bit,” Morgan shrugged.

“You’re a fucking twat, do you know that-” JJ began and took a step forwards but Emily quickly stood in front of her blonde.

“Sit down, right now,” she told her, looking her dead in the eyes but JJ only grew angrier.

“All of you! You’re so fucking inconsiderate all the time!” She shouted. A few officers outside looked towards them and Emily couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Morgan and Reid quickly left, hoping to diffuse the situation but JJ turned around in fury. She swiped the things off the desk in a single, fast hit and watched as the papers, which she’d been working hard on all morning scattered around the room. The coffee cups also spilt over the floor and the table. This only caused her to get angrier and she tugged at her hair. She spun on her heels, frantically searching for Emily. And as always, Emily was there.

JJ fell into her arms, still having a tight grip on her hair but Emily stroked her back, up and down her arms and pulled her over to the sofa in the room. She held JJ, held her as she cried angrily. Tara began cleaning up the mess whilst Rossi reassured the officers everything was okay.

“I’ve got you,” Emily reassured, holding her girl tighter. “You’re okay baby, you’re safe.” Emily knew how short JJ’s fuse was and she was very frustrated that she allowed JJ to get to this point, especially today - on a new case. Although the team were making good process and she knew they wouldn’t be there long, she still felt awful on the younger girl in her arms. JJ only got this angry in this headspace. She’d throw her tantrums when younger yeah, she doesn’t agree on everything but the outbursts happen now when she loses that emotional control. That was the biggest tell that JJ was even somewhat regressed - her emotional control.

“I’m sorry,” she cried into Emily’s chest as her tears subsided.

“It’s alright, you’re alright,” Emily reassured. Tara then, being the absolute star she is, brought over JJ’s bag. It was a little bag, a small bag - full of JJ’s favourite things. Colouring books, a few sensory toys, pens, her blanket and a small teddy she could take with her. Emily smiled thankfully at her as she sat beside the pair. Tara was hands-on with little JJ and Emily appreciated that so much. Garcia, Tara and Hotch were the best with her. Rossi was like the confused grandad - he entertained her but when she’d get upset, although he tried his hardest, usually just made her more upset. Derek and Reid were hit-and-miss but that was okay.

“Oh, look, what’s this?” Emily whispered, helping JJ lift her head up. They all knew she’d regressed quite young now. Tara held her teddy up, showing JJ and JJ grabbed it quickly, pulling it to her chest.

“Do you want to do some colouring?” Tara suggested, knowing it was JJ’s favourite task but she shook her head and yawned.

“How about a little nap, hm?” Emily suggested and JJ agreed, nodding her head and moving to get herself more comfortable. Emily and Tara stood up - letting her stretch across the sofa. Emily grabbed her blanket and put it over her, wrapping her up tightly like a burrito, just how she liked it.

“You get some rest then little one,” Emily whispered, leaning over and kissing JJ’s head.

“Seep,” JJ agreed, nodding.

“Yeah, sleep baby. Sweet dreams,” she added and kissed JJ’s lips softly. Tara stroked her head and went to sit at the table with Rossi. JJ felt more content now, feeling loved and appreciated. Suddenly, as soon as she regressed younger, all the bad, mean thoughts left.

Chapter Text

The doorbell rang and Emily slid from under a sleeping JJ on the sofa. The small girl had been fussy and rather young today. Emily didn’t mind too much as a younger JJ was a lot easier to settle than an older JJ.

Emily opened the door, without looking and her jaw dropped.

“Emily!” JJ’s mother cheered. She let herself into the house, pulling her suitcase behind her. “It’s so nice to see you again lovely!” She pulled Emily into a hug and Emily was in too much shock to say anything. This woman’s daughter was currently in the room over, dressed like a toddler with her tutu, pull up and baby grow and her hair in plaits and a paci in her mouth - a bottle hanging from her hand.

“Sandy!” Emily managed to say, making sure to keep hold of JJ’s mother so she didn’t go looking for her daughter. “What a nice surprise!”

“Where’s JJ?” she asked and Emily cringed.

“She’s just gone to the bathroom, would you like a coffee?” Emily kept hold of Sandy’s arm and walked her through the house to the kitchen. She was being as noisy as possible to try and wake up JJ and give her a hint.

“Oh yes, a coffee would be lovely. Thank you.”

JJ began to stir at the sound of voices and grew very confused. Firstly, her mama wasn’t where she was meant to be - beneath her. Secondly, they had no guests coming around. Rolling off the sofa and landing with a gentle thump, she looked around the room. She could hear her mama in the kitchen and she listened carefully for the other person. If it was one of the team then she didn’t mind but anyone else - why would she have let anyone else in? Then she heard it, her mother's voice.

She froze, why on earth would Emily let her in? Her mother of all people? Scrambling to her feet, she headed out of the living room and up the stairs to change. Emily heard her and relaxed- knowing JJ understood.

“Was that JJ?” Sandy asked, turning on her chair.

“Oh yeah, she’ll be in a minute. I’m sure. We weren’t expecting you!” Emily knew what was coming. Her phone began blowing up with texts and she excused herself, pretending it was her work.

‘Why on Earth is my mum here?!?!?!’ the text read.

‘I don’t know!’ Emily replied.

‘Get rid of her!’

‘I can't! Come here, it'll be fine.’

A few minutes later, Emily heard JJ stomping down the stairs and groaned. This was not adult JJ, this was angry, triggered, upset teen JJ.

“Jennifer!” Sandy cheered as her daughter entered the room and JJ gave her a large, fake smile.

“Mum!” She replied sarcastically.

“It’s great to see you, darling! How have you been? You’ve not been answering my calls.”

“Works been immense,” JJ groaned. She walked over to the fridge, barging past Emily and opened it. She took out an energy drink, knowing full well she wasn’t allowed them in teen headspace. Emily took it off her just as she opened it and began to pour it down the sink and JJ threw up her arms. As much as Emily knew how JJ’s mum made her feel, she was yet to experience temper tantrums and meltdowns with her. Sandy knew of JJ’s regression but never really mentioned it, leaving it to her daughter.

After about twenty minutes of general chat between the three of them (and attitude from JJ, which was ignored), Sandy stood up. Emily and JJ both got their hopes up, thinking she was leaving but then she grabbed JJ’s arm.

“How about we go for some ice cream? Your favourite shop has been renovated!”

“Not without Emily,” JJ grumbled, shooting her mama a look. No matter what headspace JJ was in, no matter how angry she was or annoyed with Emily she was, Emily was her ultimate comfort.

“I was hoping I could take my daughter out for some quality time,” Sandy sighed.

“Not without Emily. You can have quality time with us both,” JJ grumbled, beginning to play with her hands. She really didn’t want to leave Emily - not feeling this fragile.

“I wanted to talk to you about some personal things,” Sandy tried again and JJ moved away from her mother who was only getting closer to her. She went to stand near Emily, hoping the older girl's presence will comfort her.

“I tell her everything you tell me anyway, might as well do it in front of her,” JJ groaned, trying her hardest not to shout at her mum.

“Jennifer…” her mum warned and Emily watched JJ close her eyes and fists super tight.

“I said not without Emily,” JJ said through her teeth.

“And I said I want to spend time alone with you.”

“I said no!” JJ screamed then, bursting. Emily grabbed her waist, making sure she didn’t go to hurt her mum.

“Don’t you dare shout at me like that young lady!” Sandy replied, holding up a finger.

“Listen to me then,” JJ groaned, falling back into Emily’s arms.

“God you’re just like your sister,” Sandy grumbled, grabbing her handbag.

“What? What was that?” JJ didn’t like anyone bad-mouthing her sister, especially her mother.

“You’re just as stubborn and argumentative as her!” Sandy replied, walking towards the door. “With all of this stupid self-destructive behaviour!” She added, picking up one of JJ’s little toys and throwing it back down. Emily felt JJ begin to shake under her hold so held her a little bit tighter.

“Maybe we’d be better if we had a decent mother!” JJ screamed. Since Emily wouldn’t let go of her, she picked up a nearby glass and launched it in her mum’s direction. Sandy screeched and moved out of the way.

“Sandy I suggest you leave,” Emily said simply, wrapping her arms entirely around the quivering blonde girl in her arms.

“She’s my daughter I can handle her,” Sandy grumbled, straightening up her back.

“Sandy this is my house and I’m telling you to get out!” Emily said with more authority. JJ was thrashing in her arms and Emily was struggling to hold her.

“You’re a worthless mother!” JJ screamed at her and Sandy paused, eyes wide, staring at her daughter. JJ was thrashing, crying and hitting at Emily but Emily seemed to hold her with ease - as if it was common. Sandy didn’t move though, just watched her daughter scream and cry and Emily knew there was no point fighting with both.

Emily slid herself and JJ to the floor, away from most of the destructive things in the kitchen.

“Off! Get off me!” JJ cried, trying to free herself but now in a better position, Emily had her arms and legs wrapped around the young girl. “I’m angry!” JJ screamed, beginning to sob.

“I know baby,” Emily whispered. She held JJ’s head against her chest. “It’s okay to feel like this but you need to take some deep breaths.”

“I- I can-t” JJ cried, gripping Emily’s t-shirt.

“You can baby, you’re okay.” Emily continued stroking JJ’s hair, moving it from her face so the wispy bits didn’t irritate her. Sandy moved round the counter to see them both. JJ, a mess, cradled in Emily’s arms. JJ’s head was hiding in EMily’s chest, so she didn’t see her but Emily ignored the older woman. Emily began to sing softly and as JJ stopped fighting, Emily rocked them softly from side to side. She closed her eyes and put her head on her baby’s.

“Is - is she okay?” Sandy asked after a few more minutes of watching the pair. JJ’s breathing had settled down and Emily knew she was falling asleep.

“She’s fine now,” Emily whispered. She looked up at Sandy who had tears streaming down her face. “Leave, please.” Sandy nodded and grabbed her bag, she headed out of the kitchen and out of the door. Emily heard it shut and sighed heavily, holding the small girl in her arms tighter.

An hour later and little, little JJ was playing in her bedroom. She was laying on her back, arms and legs flailing as she interacted with the hanging toys above her. She hadn’t said a word since her mum left and Emily wasn’t expecting her to. Completely nonverbal and very young, Emily had to use her caregiver instincts to help her baby but she didn’t mind. It had been a stressful day for them both and Emily had a bath running.

“Hello my precious,” Emily chuckled, sitting beside JJ on her mat. JJ grumbled in reply, looking at her with a glimmer of innocence in her eyes. “Shall we get you all ready for a bath?” Emily said with enthusiasm and rubbed circles on JJ’s belly. Emily put her in a sleeping suit once she’d calmed down, to help her with her headspace. JJ kicked her legs happily and smiled up at Emily and Emily chuckled. She began to get JJ undressed.

She set the young girl in the bath and instantly JJ began giggling, splashing around amongst the bubbles and kicking her legs with excitement. Looking after JJ was challenging sometimes, often exhausting but moments like this - when Emily knew that there wasn’t a single negative thought in her simple little mind and knowing that JJ trusted Emily with her entire being was something so so special and made everything worth it.

Chapter Text

“this way,” emily muttered, keeping a tight grip on JJ’s hand. she was young today, after waking up from some nightmares, she’d been regressed most of the night and all of the morning. emily had to come to work though, as she had a meeting, and she couldn’t leave jj at home on her own.

“mama i wan sit with penny,” jj grumbled as emily headed up to her office.

“i know hold on baby,” emily replied. “i’ll drop you there in a minute. let me just grab my things for the meeting.”

jj knocked on garcia’s door sweetly and waited for the greeting.

“oh my darling dearest girl!” penelope cheered as jj entered, a wide smile on her face.

“pennny!” jj cheered too, jumping onto her best friends lap.

“hi baby!” garcia chuckled, wrapping her arms around the small girl and kissing her cheek.

“hi hi,” jj replied, snuggling into her cuddle buddy.

“all her things are in there, call me if there’s an emergency. otherwise, be good baby,” emily muttered, smiling and kissing jj’s head softly.

“bye baby! i love you.”

“wove wooooo mama!” jj smiled and kissed emily’s lips before she left.

garcia got jay settled on the floor, playing with her shapes whilst watching her shows. jj loved it, settled in her little corner under her canopy! she had her fairy lights on and her teddy’s all around her. penelope was engrossed in her work, a new case having come up she had to do some research for.

an hour and a half later and jj realised her little predicament. she was now sat in a puddle. so distracted with her toys and her games she didn’t realise she needed the toilet ! and she forgot that she’d argued with her mama this morning about the protection. now she’s made a mess in garcia’s office! at work! everyone was going to see her mess. she shuffled, trying to move positions and get more comfortable but her face just grew more red as it happened again. she tried to hold back her tears, embarrassed. she was a big girl! she knew she was a big girl but sometimes she forgot about big girl things.

“right, we’ve got to go to the round room my lovely! come on!” garcia cheered, after printing off the files. she reached her hand out to the young girl who only looked up at her, mortified. no way was she walking into a room full of the team like this! jj shook her head then lowered it.

“why not chipmunk?” she leaned down in front of jj and jj blushed, hiding her face.

“jay sweetheart,” garcia whispered, putting some hair behind jj’s ear.

“no, no, go way!” jj whimpered, getting more and more embarrassed.

“do i need to go get mama? has something happened?” garcia could smell it, making her feel really bad. jj didn’t reply, only sniffled. garcia left the room quietly and a few moments later, emily walked in - bag in her hand.

“hello my little love,” emily smiled softly, squatting beside her baby.

“mama,” jj whimpered, feeling embarrassed still.

“mama’s here. do you want me to help you clean up?” jj shook her head, getting all worked up. “i’m not mad baby. we’ve just got to get you sorted before you get sore.”

“messy,” she cried.

“it’s okay, we can clean it up,” emily whispered, grabbing jj’s hand.

“mama,” jj began to cry properly as emily stood her up. she had made quite a mess but it was only an accidents and accidents happen.

“it’s okay sweetheart,” emily muttered, rubbing the girls back. “you’ll be all cleaned up in no time!”

jj stayed quiet, letting emily lead the way. she held out the pull up for the young girl to step into and jj was hesitant - knowing they were at work.

“it’s just to stop anymore messes, love. no one will know.”

“no see it?”

“no one will see it!” emily reassured and jj sighed before stepping in. “good girl!”

jj smiled a little and blushed as emily pulled it up her legs before following with some more pants.

once jj was cleaned up nicely. when emily had wiped her face and gave her plenty of cuddles, they headed to the round room together. jj was quiet and kept her head down as emily pulled her onto her lap. garcia being garcia had left a colouring book on the table for jj, along with some pens. jj sat on emily’s knee as the team talking about the case. she coloured in the two cats, one in pink and the other in black.

“that’s very pretty baby,” emily praised, as the team were finished.

“tanks mama,” jj replied sweetly, cuddling into her mama.

Chapter Text

JJ got home and unlocked the door herself. the house which was once full of happiness was now dark and dismal. the light bulb in the hallway broke a few weeks ago and no one had fixed it.

the storm clouds outside rolled in and the lightning reflected off the shards of glass scattering the floor - remains of old picture frames which used to gleam on the walls.

jj slid up the stairs, refusing to face the state of her kitchen and then headed into her bedroom she once shared with emily. her nursery was ruined - holes in the wall, clothes all over the place, broken toys and even a broken bed. it wasn’t her space anymore.

she had no space anymore. no where to go. no one to be herself with.

the parcel sat on the middle of the bed and at first, jj was shocked but as she approached the pink wrapping paper - she knew. she knew it was okay. her heart plummeted to the ground as her knees followed suit, dropping her weight to the side of the bed.

she reached for the carefully wrapped present and ran her fingers over the glittery unicorns and she let a single tear fall from her cheek. it splashed across the paper and it soaked it up but jj wished it was her mama’s jumper.

she slowly ripped the paper, revealing a shoe box. on top sat a card and she knew it was emily’s handwriting.

once all the paper was off, she set the heavy box in front of her and slowly began to open the card. it was a picture of the two of them - jj sat across from emily as she painted her nails. jj was in her princess costume (which had now been ripped to pieces) and emily was smiling widely at jj, leaning down to kiss her head. it was one of them moments where all was calm, serene and beautiful with jj’s regression.

it wasn’t always princesses and rainbows, but when it was- jj felt so loved by emily. garcia has taken the picture and it made jj’s body rack with sobs just as she opened the card.

hey my sweet girl,

wipe them tears for me. i miss you. i miss you so, so much i can’t even imagine how you feel.

i will be back with you soon, and we can play dress up again, all you want. we can eat ice-cream at 1am in a fort in the living room even though we have work at 8. we can be together and i can hold you again.

i hope you’re being good. i know it must be hard keeping the secrets but i am so proud of you. so unbelievably proud of you for letting me go.

i’ve packed some things in the box for you, just some things i see that remind me of you.

it won’t be long now darling, we’ll be back together and you can tell me all about what you’ve been up to whilst i’ve been away.

are you still counting for the game? i hope you’re not cheating, cheeky girl.

i love you more than you love me ,

your mama xx

jj traced the words at the bottom with her fingertips and sniffled before setting the card down.

she opened the box and smiled. on top was a babies blanket, a small soft pink one. she rubbed it across her face and whimpered, remembering emily’s touch.

next, she saw some pacis - pink ones and they had little Eiffel towers on them. they were her size too which made jj melt. there was a sweet dummy too, a pink one! jj’s favourite colours.

she pulled out some rolled up pyjamas and smiled. they had teddy bears holding french flags, they were soft, like real teddy bears. she slipped it over her head before gasping at the thing at the bottom of the box. emily’s black hoodie.

instantly, it was wrapped around her and jj soaked in the smell. she missed emily’s warmth and love. she missed her mama so much. she sobbed into her mama’s jumper, wishing and hoping that she’ll be back soon. she wanted nothing more than to curl up in her mamas arms and feel loved by the one person that truly, truly cared.

Chapter Text

“Excuse me, young lady,” Emily sighed, sending daggers in JJ’s direction.
“Excuse me, young lady,” JJ mocked in return, shaking her head.
“Jennifer!” Emily scolded. If there was one thing in the world she hated, it was being mocked.
“Yes, Emily?” JJ smirked, looking towards the older woman. They were in the round table room, trying to brainstorm answers for a death row case they’d been asked to review. However, JJ was clearly not in the mood for it.
“You’re on your last warning, little girl,” Emily warned, pointing a finger at JJ. JJ rolled her eyes before spinning around in her chair.
“Yeah yeah, pretty sure I was on my last warning hours ago,” she mumbled, pulling her phone from her pocket.

At that, Tara stood up, walked around the table and snatched the phone from JJ’s hand. JJ gasped and reached for it.
“Sit down and show some respect,” Tara said.
“I am! That’s my phone you can’t take it!” JJ cried out, jumping up and down to try and reach the outstretched phone.
“You can have it back when you stop being a brat,” Tara said matter-of-factly. She turned and walked from the room and JJ went to charge after her but Derek stood between the blonde and the door.
“Morgan move!” JJ screeched, squeezing her eyes shut and making her voice as loud as it could.
“No can do pretty girl, sit down,” he said, shaking his head. JJ huffed, stomped her foot, and glared at the entire team before throwing herself on the ground like a toddler.

“Jay,” Emily sighed, watching her girl begin to cry. JJ had been stressed out all morning and Emily seriously debated bringing her to work but when a difficult case was called in, she didn’t really have a choice. JJ continued her fit on the floor, flying about her legs and her arms but the team grew to ignore it. Spencer continued his facts about an old case related to their new one and Garcia brought up new pictures on the screen. However, Emily couldn’t help but feel like something was seriously wrong with her baby.

They had five hours on the plane and JJ had finally settled a little. Emily tried to get her to stay with Garcia but JJ refused.

As they climbed onto the plane, JJ stayed by her mama’s side, distressed and feeling tired. There was so much going on through her brain that she just wanted her mama to take it all away. Her nightmares had come back recently. It was coming up to almost a year away from Tivon Askari - what he did to her - and the emotions, the feelings, the torture was too much.

“Do you want to colour?” Emily asked, pulling up JJ’s bag but JJ shook her head. She didn’t feel safe being small at the minute. She couldn’t tell anyone but she had been regressed for the majority of time she was with Askari. Her little self was more traumatized than she was and that was terrifying. JJ shook her head and put her head on the window.
“Nap?” Emily suggested, showing her her blanket. JJ shrugged and closed her eyes. Emily sighed and stroked the girl's tight fist before turning to brief the team.

The case was pretty slow at first. Emily kept JJ in the precinct, setting up the boards and doing research with Spencer. The blonde was quiet, reserved and very, very sad. The whole team could sense something was wrong but no one dared to ask, not after that morning's tantrum. It was hard enough working on a case, never mind keeping a constant eye on a versatile JJ too.

By the time the entire team had returned to the precinct, JJ was curled up on the sofa fast asleep. The team ordered Taco Bell whilst going over their day's findings.

“So he’s targeting middle-aged fathers from a small town but why?” Morgan asked.
“We need to look into the history, there must be something tying them all together,” Tara added.
“They went to different high schools. Cunnings was in a different town altogether,” Emily said.

The group thought for a moment until Spencer spoke up. “Garcia, are there any records of scout groups-”

A scream broke him off as JJ sat up from the sofa. Her entire body shook as she threw the blanket off her. Emily shot up from the table and was straight by her girl's side. Tears flooded JJ’s face as she tried to get away from Emily.

“Hey, hey sweetheart.” Emily cooed, grabbing JJ’s trembling hands. “It’s Mama. Mama is here.”

“Mama,” Jj sobbed, suddenly launching herself into Emily’s outstretched arms. Tara guided the pair to the bathrooms for some privacy and the team continued with their investigation.

“Deep breaths, focus on my breathing princess,” Emily whispered, rocking her girl in her arms. JJ was crying, clinging to Emily’s top. It was as if she was back there, getting hurt all over again but Emily was keeping her safe. “Mama’s got you.”

Not long later, after many encouragements, kisses, cuddles and lots of tears, JJ sat up from Emily’s arms. Sighing deeply, she turned to her mama who had bog, concerned, brown eyes.
“What happened?” Emily asked softly. She tucked some loose hair behind JJ’s ear and wiped her wet cheeks.
“Askari,” JJ spat his name.
“Oh love,” Emily sighed.
“He- he was hurting me again,” she muttered, closing her eyes tight.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me,” Emily reassured and took JJ back into her arms. She ran her fingers through her little one’s hair and rocked her softly.
“Is this the tiredness, the behaviour hm?”
“I’m sorry mama,” JJ mumbled into Emily’s chest.
“It’s okay. I just need you to communicate these things with me.” JJ nodded, agreeing before they decided to head back into the conference room.

Emily sat at the desk, feeding JJ fries, who was sitting on her knee.No one mentioned the nightmare. Tara made her some pink milk, Spencer grabbed her colouring things and Morgan let her play on his phone whilst they finished up. Emily knew her girl would be okay with such a supportive group around them.

Chapter Text

“Again! Again!” JJ screeched as the roller coaster came to a stop. She jumped out of the cart and rushed to get back in line. Emily however, felt sick to the stomach. She regretted agreeing to go on the ride with her little and now, her little was obsessed.

“I’ve got you Em, don’t worry,” Garcia laughed, rubbing Emily’s shaking shoulder.

“Please, I don’t think I can handle anymore,” she groaned and sat on a bench nearby.

“Come on!” JJ shouted from her place in the line, waving at the two.

“I’ll go, you rest,” Garcia confirmed, setting down the bags before heading over to the line with JJ. They’d been at the park for about three hours now and Emily was getting tired however JJ’s energy seemed to be never-ending.

“Maammmmmma,” JJ giggled loudly as Emily smudged the ice cream on her face. Emily and Penelope laughed loudly as JJ tried to lick the ice cream from all around her mouth. “Help me!” JJ whined. Emily leaned in slowly and began to lick her baby’s face clean, causing very loud giggles from her little monkey. Then it all stopped as a crowd of foil balloons flew past the group.

“Mamaaaa! I want I want I want!” JJ cried, stomping her feet excitedly.

“Ooh maybe before we go, baby! Do you want to go on another ride?” Emily suggested

“Horses!” JJ cheered, jumping up from the bench and heading towards the horse racing ride.

“Jennifer!” Emily sighed, grabbing the younger girl's wrist before she ran after someone selling balloons again.

“But Mama! I want one!” She huffed, stomping her foot and pouting at her caregiver.

“And I’ve told you when we are ready to leave. Are you ready to leave now?” Emily said softly, wrapping her arms around her pouting girl. JJ had been so so good all day. This was JJ’s little treat for being so well-behaved this week and getting so many stickers. She decided she wanted to go to the theme park.

“No, not yet!” JJ chirped up, standing on her tiptoes and looking around them. “We go that one!” She shouted suddenly, pointing to the biggest roller coaster in the park. Emily gulped. She hated rollercoasters, which is why she had dragged Garcia along but now Garcia was busy buying things in the gift shop and they’d all just eaten.

“We’ve just had some food why don’t we wait baby?” Emily offered, trying to tear away JJ’s attention,

“No mama!! That one! That oneee!” She whined, pulling at Emily’s arm.

“We’ll go on it soon angel, how about just the teacups hm?” Emily suggested, turning to the children’s ride which she felt a lot more comfortable on.

“No, rollercoaster,” JJ huffed, crossing her arms.

“Teacups.”

“Coaster!”

“Teacups,” Emily pleaded.

“Coaster now!” the stomp of the foot and the evil glare made Emily roll her eyes.

“JJ, mama has said not right now. I haven’t said no. Let’s stop throwing a tantrum in the middle of everything and go find Penny hm?”

“But mama I wan go on it now wif wooo,” JJ pouted.

“Jay come on, mama has asked you nicely. We are meant to be using our listening ears today.”

JJ whined loudly and threw back her head but Emily took her hand and walked her in the direction of Garcia.

Upon approaching Garcia, JJ huffed more and more causing a very confused look from Penelope.

“She’s grumpy because I won’t go on the big roller coaster with her,” Emily sighed, wrapping her arm around JJ’s shoulder.

“Another roller coaster?” Penelope teased, knowing Emily’s fear.

“Yeah, Penny! We gotta go on them alllllll,” JJ said, throwing up her hands. “But mama no wet me.”

“Mama will let you!” Emily argued. “But not yet, you’ve just eaten.”

“You’re a meanie bum,” Jj grumbled, turning away with her arms crossed. Emily laughed and just began walking around the gift shop, leaving Garcia to argue with JJ.

“Little Miss agreed that we can go on the boat ride again and then she wants to go on the coaster. The boat ride is about half an hour so that’s okay isn’t it em?” Garcia suggested, keeping hold of her little bestie’s hand.

“That’s a good choice! Well done for making a decision baby,” Emily praised and kissed JJ’s head. JJ just began skipping over to the boat ride. Emily was so thankful they’d avoided a tantrum.

The boat ride was nice and peaceful. JJ kept her head on Emily’s shoulder the entire time and Garcia motioned that the younger girl was beginning to fall asleep. Once they got off, Emily held JJ’s hand tightly as she came back around from her little nap although, from the look on her face, she seemed even more tired than before.

“I think it’s hometime baby,” Emily suggested and Garcia nodded but JJ shook her head, pointing to the large roller coaster. “Do you not think you’re a bit tired?”

“I not tired mama,” she whispered, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. “We go on it now, pease!” she fluttered her eyelashes at Emily and pushed out her bottom lip. Emily chuckled.

“Garcia will go on with you, yeah?” Emily suggested and JJ nodded softly. She grabbed Garcia’s hand and they headed over to the line.

As soon as they got off the crazy fast rollercoaster, JJ cuddled into Emily - ready for a nap.

“Did you have fun?” Emily asked softly.

“Hmm, it goes up an down and round an round an up an upside down,” JJ told her sweetly, waving her hand in crazy motions too.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, angel,” Emily chuckled and kissed her head.

“Home time now mama,” JJ whispered, yawning.

“Home time now baby,” Emily confirmed, heading out the theme park.

Chapter Text

JJ groaned and put her head in her hands. Her head was throbbing, her eyes hurt, her ears hurt. She couldn’t swallow without a sharp pain following and all she wanted to do was be small. But she couldn’t - not here, not at work. They were thousands of miles away from home yet she just wanted her mama. She wanted to be held, to be looked after and she could feel herself losing all control of her big girl self, which frustrated her.

“You alright blondie?” Derek asked, coming into the room.

“I’m fine,” JJ replied, moving some hair from her face. She wasn’t but she wasn’t going to admit that to anyone, especially Morgan.

Tara walked up behind JJ and began massaging her shoulders but she didn’t like it. She didn’t like the subtle care, the subtle jabs to her being younger than she was. She didn’t need reminding. She brushed Tara off, grumbling under her breath and Tara got the hint.

“Emily’s going to be back from the conference soon and then we can leave. Is everyone packed up?” Rossi asked, sitting back in his chair.

“I’m all ready. Have you got everything JJ?” Tara asked, turning to her..

“Do you assume I’m incapable?” she grumbled under her breath but felt herself get hot under the stairs.

“Excuse you,” Tara sighed.

“Sorry,” JJ replied instantly. “I’m all packed up.”

“Good.”

Emily was running late so they all headed to the air strip and met her there. Now work was over, JJ was feeling a little more reserved, unable to hold back her little side so she stayed quiet in the back of the car. Rossi drove whilst Tara sat in the passenger seat.

“You okay back there?” Tara asked, turning to her as they pulled up but JJ didn’t answer. She had seen Emily and that’s all she cared about. Jumping out of the car, before it had even properly stopped - she stumbled across the concrete.

“Whoa JJ!” Emily gasped as the blonde jumped into her arms. JJ didn’t say anything, only pushed herself further into her caregiver’s arms.

“JJ! You can’t jump out of a moving car like that! Especially with no warning,” Tara scolded heading over to the pair.

“Moving car?” EMily gasped, lifting JJ’s head up. But she only received a grumble from the small girl who hid her head again. EMily could feel the heat of her forehead on her neck and she sighed.

“Are you feeling okay?” She asked and JJ shook her head softly, thankful someone finally guessed without her having to tell them. “You sick?”

“Mhm,” JJ mumbled, rubbing her eyes. Emily pouted and headed up the steps to the jet. Tara and Rossi followed as Spencer and Morgan pulled up in their car. Emily sat JJ down on the sofa but the blonde argued, grabbing onto Emily’s t-shirt, not wanting to be put down yet.

“Oh sweetheart,” Emily sighed, stroking JJ’s hand. “It’s okay. Let me get us settled and then we can have some cuddles, I promise.” JJ let go, feeling herself get all embarrassed. She’d not fully slipped into her headspace yet and with everyone moving around on the plane and Emily using her mama voice it made it all quite overwhelming.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on the window, looking out. Her head still hurt and she knew the plane wouldn’t help. She just wanted to be at home, snuggled up with her mama and teddies and disney movies.

“Come here,” Emily whispered after a few minutes, sitting beside her girl. JJ whimpered and curled up into Emily’s side, putting her feet over her legs and her head on Emily’s shoulder. On the table in front of them, there were a few different things but Emily made sure that JJ’s favourite,, pink blanket was wrapped around the girl first. She tucked her arms in, made sure it was nice and secure and JJ smiled softly, she loved being swaddled, especially with Emily by her side.

“Right, this one,” Emily muttered. She put some medicine on a spoon but JJ made a face, she didn’t like this one.

“Come on honey, you need it,” Emily encouraged gently. The rest of the team had settled in their own seats now- thankfully no one sat opposite them, giving them the space JJ appreciated.

“No,” JJ whined, pushing the spoon away.

“If you take this, you can have this,” Emily compramised, holding up JJ’s pacifier. It was JJ’s favourite thing, especially when sick and she knew the young girl wouldn’t be okay without it.

“This, no this,” JJ mumbled, reaching for the pink paci but Emily shook her head.

“Come on Jay, mama is just trying to help. Your juice is ready for you.”

But JJ was having none of it, she threw her head back and let out a loud wail, really succumbing to the regression now. She was tired, sick, wanting cuddles, wanting love and sleep and her mama was making her take yucky medicine. However, Emily wasn’t stupid. As JJ let out a cry, Emily put the spoon in her mouth. The shock caused her to stop crying and figure it out to which Emily then gave her her paci, stopping her from spitting it out. JJ grumbled and sent Emily a glare but Emily only wrapped her arms around her small girl.

“Such a grumpy baby,” she teased. She stroked JJ’s hair and then got her ipad set up with some of her favourite shows. JJ hummed and grumbled in her own little small language, arguing back with Emily but she just held her tight. They had about five hours on the plane so Emily hoped she’d get some good sleep in that time.

Unfortunately, JJ’s sickness took the turn for the worse on the plane home and whether it was the air pressure or a stomach bug, the team weren’t sure. She’d thrown up twice in the air and once in the car home. Tara offered to head back to Emily and JJ’s place to help out where she could. Since JJ had literally not left Emily since they got settled on the plane, the pair knew it’d be a difficult task getting her home, washed, cleaned up and feeling any better if it was just Emily on her own.

As soon as they were through the doors, JJ slid to the floor and began crawling to the living room, occasionally making sure Emily was following her.

“Would you like a bath baby?” Emily suggested but JJ whined, reaching up for cuddles instead. Emily and Tara already had their plan in action so whilst Tara was filling up the bathtub, Emily grabbed her princess and took her to her bedroom.

In the bath, JJ stayed laying down, too tired and sick to play. Emily worked on washing her thoroughly, interacting with her softly. Tara was downstairs making dinner and Emily was so, so appreciative.

JJ was tired, exhausted even. But she refused to not be with Emily. She clung to her. She cried every time Emily left her in a room by herself. She whined when she was set down and she clung to Emily constantly.

“Do you want some dinner?” Emily asked JJ softly as the blonde snuggled up to her side as she tried to eat her own.

“No,” she cried, pushing Emily’s food away. Emily giggled a little.

“That’s mamas anyway, cheeky girl.”

Emily knew she’d have to stay with JJ all night. She sent Tara home, knowing now they were in bed she’d be okay. JJ hadn’t been sick since the plane and she’d kept water and medicine down which was really good.

“Mama,” JJ whined, snuggling closer to Emily.

“Mama’s here,” Emily replied. She took her own top off to initiate skin to skin contact with Jay, hoping that would settle her. Instantly, the blonde was asleep, wrapped up in her mama’s arms. Her paci was securely in her mouth and her fingers hooked in Emily’s necklace. Emily had everything crossed that she’d sleep through the night.

Chapter Text

“Em,” JJ whimpered, coming over to Emily on the jet.

“Yes love?” Emily replied, looking up at her girlfriend whose arms were crossed. She had a large frown on her face and her eyes were turned down. Emily couldn’t help but smile. “What's the matter sweet girl?” Emily stood up and unfolded JJ’s arms, taking her hands.

“Emmyyyy,” JJ cried and put her head on her shoulder. Emily smiled and wrapped her arms around JJ, holding her close. She rubbed her back and knew she was regressing again, she wondered what caused it.

“Shall we go sit down somewhere else?” Emily asked, holding JJ at arms length. JJ didn’t reply. She avoided eye contact. “Come on,” Emily said. She took JJ’s hand and took her to the back of the jet.

“My blanket Em,” JJ whimpered, pulling at her arm.

“What about it?”

“Where it?” JJ asked. Emily stopped and looked around.

“You don’t know?” Emily asked. “You had it in the car.” JJ nodded and felt her eyes tear up. She left her blanket in the car and now they were on the jet.

“Hey it’s okay, let me go look for it- sit down,” Emily said and sat JJ down quickly, to try and avoid more tears in front of the team. They couldn’t go home without her blanket. JJ pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in them. She didn’t want to be seen being so silly but her blanket was everything. Emily rubbed her back quickly and headed down the jet, looking for her girl’s blanket.

This all started with the blanket. The blue, cotton blanket that JJ had everywhere with her. No one took much notice of it mostly but the first time JJ lost it, it caused an entire meltdown and JJ couldn’t hold it together, she broke down, regressed, in Emily’s arms, sobbing for her comfort item. Then came the colouring books with the crayons not pens. And then the softer, timid toddler talk. Emily bought her a few dolls, let her watch cartoons, cut her food up into funny shapes. No one said anything as they watched JJ occasionally become younger in front of them because they didn’t mind. It was obviously JJ’s own way of healing a childhood she refused to speak about.

But now she was on the brink of another breakdown because her blanket was lost again.

“Have you seen JJ’s blanket?” Emily asked Morgan.

“The blue one? No. Has she lost it?” He sent the blonde, in the corner, a quick look and sighed. Her shoulders were shaking.

“I think it’s in the car,” Emily sighed, knowing this would be hard without her blanket - harder if she was in this way.

“I saw it,” Spencer perked up, seeing his friends in distress.

“Where?”

“It got shoved in a bag-” Spencer stood up and headed towards where the bags were stored on the jet. A second later, he emerged with the blue blanket in his hand.

“Oh thank god!” Emily said loudly. “You are the best!” She hit Spencer on the shoulder as a thank you and took the blanket over to JJ. She hadn’t lifted her head or even noticed the blanket was found.

“Jay,” Emily whispered, bending down in front of her girl, “Look what I found.”

JJ lifted her head and sniffled. She saw the blanket and smiled widely, taking it. She rubbed the corner against her face and fell even younger.

“That’s it, wipe the tears,” Emily whispered.

“I- I sorry,” JJ choked out. She hated this happening with the team. She just wanted to be alone with Emily at their house, away from people watching her.

“No need to apologise, sweetheart,” Emily told her. “Do you want to cuddle?” JJ nodded and slid from her chair and straight into Emily, making the older woman laugh.

“Let’s sit in a chair, hm,” Emily said. She stood up and sat down across the sofa and pulled JJ into her arms. JJ settled instantly in her girlfriend’s arms, feeling safe. Safer than ever. Emily grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around JJ as much as she could.

“Try nap yeah?”

“No nap,” JJ replied.

“No nap? Why no nap?”

“No naaaap,” JJ whined and flicked her feet, kicking Emily in the process.

“Okay- okay, why though?”

“No tired!”

“No tired? I think you are.”

“I not.” JJ shook her head.

“No? Them little bags under your eyes say otherwise,” Emily said. She lifted a hand and tickled JJ’s eyes making her giggle.

“I not tired,” JJ confirmed and tried to hold back a yawn.

“Ohhh, she’s not tired, okay,” Emily said. “That’s just fine.”

“Jus fine,” JJ giggled and snuggled into Emily more.

It wasn’t even five minutes before JJ was sleeping softly in the curve of Emily’s side.

They got home and JJ stumbled in the door sleepily. She had her blue blanket wrapped over her shoulders and Emily carried the bags in behind her.

“Emmmmy,” JJ whined loudly as she flopped against the sofa, banging her head on a stuffed toy left there from before they went to work. Emily laughed, knowing she had a whiny girl.

“Yes Jay?”

“It messy,” JJ said, looking around the room. Her toys were sprawled across the floor, a blanket and some cushions from her interrupted picnic.

“Oh yeah?” Emily couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her girl and her mess.

“Mhm, think you gotta clean it.” JJ shot Emily her cheeky grin.

“I think I need to take a shower and I think you should clean up your mess,” Emily replied, watching her.

“Noooooo,” JJ whined and rolled across the sofa, her feet falling onto the floor.

“Well it's not my mess, Jay!” Emily said.

“Well it not mine,” JJ giggled and hid her face.

“Oh isn’t it? Some little monster must have snuck into our house and done it all!” Emily laughed and snuck up behind JJ. She attacked her in tickles suddenly and JJ let out loud laughs, wiggling against the sofa.

“Emmy!” She screeched, wiggling.

“Are you going to clean up your mess?” Emily asked, giving JJ a moment to breathe.

“Not my mess!”

“It is indeed. Go on, clean it up please,” Emily said, more seriously this time.

JJ let out an all mighty groan and buried her head deep in the sofa.

“Then we can build a fort and make pizza.” Emily added and JJ perked up.

“Really?”

“Only if you clean up your mess.”

“I gonna do it right now!” She jumped up and headed towards the mess. She was quick to sort it whilst Emily headed upstairs to sort out their go bags - refresh the clothes and put the others in the wash.

JJ was done in record time and shouted upstairs. “I done Emmy!” She headed up them, taking it two steps at a time, super excited to see Emily and build their fort and make their pizza.

“Two minutes, baby,” Emily said to her as JJ crashed into their bedroom.

“But I done. I done. I done, come seeee,” JJ grabbed Emily’s sleeve in an attempt to drag her away from the washing.

“Jay.” Emily warned and JJ let go in a huff. “Give me two minutes to finish this and then I can come see.” JJ huffed and crossed her arms, sitting on her bed angrily.

Emily got on with her task then turned around to see angry Jj and couldn’t help but smile. Her little girl was a right sight when angry like this.

“Turn that frown upside down, come on. You can show me now,” Emily said and held out a hand.

“No wan to.” JJ kicked the carpet and huffed again.

“Well guess we can’t make the fort or pizza then!” Emily said in an exaggerated tone.

“Noooo, noo. We gotta!”

“Then go show me what you cleaned up then silly head,” Emily teased. JJ huffed but got up and stomped out the room. Emily laughed, chased after JJ and picked her up by the waist.

“And turn that frown upside down!” She laughed. JJ let out big giggles as she was raised into the air and back down again.

JJ got a gold star on her chart for listening and cleaning up her mess and they both washed their hands ready to make pizza. They had the dough already so they only had to put on the toppings.

“I gon make you,” JJ giggled and pointed at Emily. Emily got out the toppings and put them in small bowls across the counter, making it easier for JJ who was in the younger headspace. JJ stood by the counter, rocking on the balls of her feet and swaying from front to back. She was so excited, she couldn't contain it.

“I’m going to make you too,” Emily laughed and put JJ’s rolled out dough in front of her.

“You want to do the sauce or me do the sauce?” Emily asked, picking up the spoon.

“Hmm,” JJ thought and put a finger on her chin. “Jay do it.” She grabbed the spoon from Emily and carefully began spreading it across the pizza. Emily watched, making sure to catch any mess. The blonde was still rocking rhythmically but Emily was used to her stims.

“Well done princess!” Emily cheered once all the sauce was on. JJ giggled and clapped before turning to high five Emily.

“I sticker?” She asked, beaming from ear to ear.

“You don't’ get a sticker on your chart for putting sauce on your pizza silly,” Emily laughed.

“Oh,” JJ huffed and lowered her head.

“Maybe if you’re super good girl for the rest of the night, we can put one on before bed - okay?”

“Okay Emmy!” JJ cheered.

“Good girl,” she kissed the side of JJ’s head, “Cheese time.” Emily grabbed a handful of grated and put it in her mouth, making JJ gasp.

“EMMY! It mean go on pizza not in you mouth!”

“Is it? Oooooh,” Emily brushed her hair from her face and laughed.

“Silly Emmy,” JJ muttered and put the cheese onto the pizza, spreading it nicely.

“You’re so precious with it baby,” Emily told her, putting her own sauce and cheese on in the time JJ was spreading out hers.

“Got be perfect cus cus I making you Emmy,” JJ whispered. “An you perfect.”

“Jayyy,” Emily cooed and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. “You’re pretty perfect yourself munchkin.”

JJ shook her head and pointed to Emilly’s pizza, “that messy.”

“Yeah well you are messy,” Email teased and JJ huffed.

They got the pizzas in the oven and began making the fort. JJ grabbed the blankets and pillows whilst Emily worked on the structure using the dining room chairs and cushions from the sofa.

“Emmy can we sleep here night?” JJ asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Oh is my princess getting tired?” Emily asked, wrapping her arms around JJ.

“Nu uh, can we just though?”

“We’ll see, are you ready to put the pillows in?” Emily replied. She stroked JJ’s hair and kissed her temple. JJ nodded softly and crawled under the large blanket resting on top, acting as the roof.

“There we go,” Emily smiled as JJ began setting up the pillows. Emily had made it big enough for them to sit up in and eat in but not really sleep in and Emily knew, with JJ already getting tired, it’d only be a matter of time until a tantrum happened.

The pizza’s were done just as JJ put the fairy lights on the fort. She really went all out, Emily sat and watched as her girl worked and got more and more tired but did it anyway.

“Let me grab the food baby, you get cosy and all ready for me, okay?” Emily suggested. JJ nodded and crawled into the fort.

JJ set up the movie tangled on the laptop in the fort. Then, she laid down for a second whilst she waited and yawned. She loved her forts, they made her feel safe and protected and so so special. She loved that Emily made them with her too. Emilly made her feel safe.

“Knock, knock, pizza delivery,” Emily said from outside. JJ giggled and opened the ‘door’ to the tent, letting Emily in.

“Pizzzza,” JJ cheered. Emily had put a side of cheetos on her plate as well as some salad to make it a more substantial meal. JJ loved salad so didn’t mind, she instantly began crunching the lettuce.

Once pizza was finished, they had their ice cream and cuddled in the fort. Emily sat with JJ between her legs as the credits of Rapunzel rolled on their laptop screen.

“I tired Emmy,” JJ whispered, rubbing her eyes.

“Let’s go to bed then baby, we gotta get you changed and teeth brushed and wash your face,” Emily listed and JJ whined shaking her head.

“Yeah, we have to baby,” Emily pouted.

“Nooo, no wan to,” JJ whined. Emily knew she was just overtired.

“Sweetheart, we have to go get ready for bed.”

“Wan sleep here!” JJ stropped.

“Okay, let’s make a deal,” Emily said and held JJ’s hands. “We go get ready, all nicely now and be good and then come back down and sleep in the fort?” Emily knew she could sacrifice her sleep for one night to make JJ happy.

“Pomise Emmy?”

“I promise princess, let’s go.”

Twenty minutes later, both women were washed and ready for bed. JJ was practically asleep walking down the stairs back to the fort. Emily grabbed a few more extra pillows to keep them comfier and JJ just snuggled straight into Emily when she laid down - using her as a pillow.

“Emmy,” JJ whispered, looking up at her gently.

“One second baby girl,” Emily whispered, knowing JJ wanted to nurse.

“Emmmy,” JJ whined again, nudging Emily’s boob.

“I know, I know,” Emily chuckled and moved so she could free her boob for JJ. Almost instantly the smaller girl took her nipple in her mouth to suckle on it like a pacifier. This was JJ’s favourite thing in the whole world - nursing. She’d never stop if she could but she got embarrassed at the thought outside the younger headspace so kept it to then, when she was super tired and needed that comfort. And right now, being so tired, it was all she needed.

Emily stroked the blonde's hair and kissed the top of her head as she nursed from her chest. Emily loved the feeling too, the sweet, nonsexual, intimate moment with her little girl who just deserved all the love in the world. It was the most special to her.

JJ was asleep in minutes and Emily wasn’t long after. It had been a sweet night for them both, one filled with healing and love and laughter, like most days and nights JJ was in this headspace. It was what the younger woman needed, what the younger woman craved and Emily was there to love her through it all.

Chapter Text

Emily climbed in first, her wine glass fullest and she slid into the warm water.

“Oh it’s so nice.” She practically moaned, closing her eyes and taking in the feeling. Penelope was next, eager to get in the water.

“Hm hm hm, this is what I’m talking about babies.”

Then JJ, she slid in next to Emily, making the girls laugh.

“Can’t get away from your girlfriend hm?” Tara asked, JJ stuck out her tongue in reply and settled next to her girlfriend. Emily slid one hand around her waist and kissed her cheek. JJ had had it tough at work the last few weeks but they didn’t want to talk about it. Strictly no work talk! Tara got in last, sitting herself opposite JJ and smiled widely.

“We deserve this.”

“Oh we do,” Emily replied.

“To the badass bau ladies!” Penelope cheered, holding up her glass.

The group chorused in reply and the familiar clink was heard in the hot tub.

The night went on, the women slid in and out, snacked and drank and most of them were feeling quite drunk, apart from the smaller blonde in the corner. All she felt was small. It was taking her longer to get the jokes, to be engaged and she was finding the bubbles a lot more playful than relaxing. The other women laughed whilst JJ spun her fingers through her bubbles and pulled them around her body, creating a border for her castle. Tara watched on, picking up on the quiet girl's behaviour. She left her too it, aware of what was happening but not ready to take her away from the fun just yet. She simply kept a closer eye on the slipping girl.

“What do you think Jay?” Emily asked, slurring her words. She slid over in the seat and wrapped both her arms around her girlfriend. But in the process, broke her girl's bubble circle. JJ let out a mighty whine and pushed Emily away from her and scrambled for more bubbles. Emily sat up immediately and looked at the other two.

“She slipped about half an hour ago,” Tara whispered.

“And you knew?” Emily asked her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“She’s content, happy, I didn’t want to make a scene of it,” Tara explained.

“Okay okay,” Emily said and leaned back, assessing JJ.

“Jay?” She asked. JJ ignored her, grumpy that she ruined her castle walls.

“Hey, little monkey,” Emily insisted and kicked her lightly under the water. JJ groaned and moved away, kicking her caregiver back harder.

“Ow. JJ!” Emily groaned.

“Eave me lone,” JJ whispered and turned away from the group.

“Do you need to go to bed?”

“Nooo! Jus payin!” JJ whined.

“Okay Jay,” Emily sighed, “if you need the toilet or want to go to bed you just tell me, okay?” JJ didn’t respond.

“Yeah, no peeing in my pool missy,” Garcia teased and JJ let out a little giggle.

JJ sat in her corner, playing with the bubbles but she couldn’t help notice how the other women had changed their conversation and their looks in her direction had become more frequent, she felt awful. She was fighting in her mind, she didn’t want to be small, not now. But she couldn’t help it, she was tired and stressed and exhausted from all the work and everything. As much as it was finally time for a girls night as they all get the time off, she hadn’t been able to slip in weeks- not properly at least and this was going to be her only chance and her brain just did it automatically. But she wanted to get involved in their jokes and them laughing and the wine. She felt alone and annoying. She did need a wee but didn’t want to tell them. She wanted to go to bed but didn’t want to put them out. She wanted to cuddle and nurse but she also desperately wanted to be big. Why was her brain so silly and stupid?

“Oh! Toilet time!” Penelope announced suddenly, jumping up. JJ’s head lifted too, she could sneak off with P and go pee and come back and she wouldn’t be upsetting anyone - right?

“Pen! Wait!” Emily said, JJ looked at her. Emily looked at her too and nodded her head.

“Go with Penny, you’re okay.” JJ didn’t hesitate, she jumped out the pool, being careful not to slip and caught up with Penelope. She was holding her hand out for her but JJ quickly crossed her arms. She was a big girl, she didn’t need to hold hands.

“Okay grumpy girl,” Penelope laughed.

“She hates herself for this,” Emily sighed when her girl was out of earshot.

“What do you mean?” Tara asked.

“That she’s slipped, she’s angry at herself for it. I can see the cogs in her head.”

“Why don’t you say something?”

“Because if I say something she’ll get more upset with me, I just have to be there for her.”

“Why don’t we call it a night in the tub and go inside? It’s getting cold anyway,” Tara suggested.

“That’s a good shout, come on.”

The pair headed inside with the wine and their towels and waited for Penelope and JJ to emerge from the bathroom. Emily decided to set up a little corner for her Jay. She wanted her to still enjoy herself and have fun but didn’t want to stop their fun at the same time and didn’t want JJ to feel worse than she felt currently.

JJ came out shaking her hands in her own world, she completely didn’t notice the women now sat inside.

Emily snuck over behind her and grabbed her hips, pulling her up for a cuddle.

“Gotcha!” she cheered and JJ screamed and began to laugh as Emily began tickling her sides.

“MAMA STOP!” JJ screamed and kicked out her legs as soon as she could. Emily smiled at her little one and JJ huffed.

“Not small,” she grumbled and crossed her arms.

“It’s okay to be,” Emily said and helped JJ off the floor.

“Not.”

“It is Jay, no one minds.”

“I mind,” JJ grumbled and stomped off to the corner. She sat in the corner Emily had made for her and kept her arms crossed defiantly. She was grumpy and did not want to be disturbed.

“Okay, you just sit there and let me know if you need anything, okay baby?”

“Whatever mama,” JJ replied, turning away. She grabbed her iPad and headphones and slid them on her head ready to submerge herself in Peppa Pig, although she was definitely not small.

About an hour passed and the girls looked over their JJ in the corner, she was engrossed in her show but they were ready for sleep. Unfortunately, Emily did not bring any of her little nighttime things, not even her paci which meant it would be a nursing night- if JJ settled enough to allow it.

Penelope and Tara went to the bathroom first to shower and get ready for bed whilst Emily attended to the little one.

“Hey sweet girl, you okay?” Emily asked. She slipped the headphones off JJ’s head and JJ whined loudly.

“What wan mama?” she’d slipped a lot further and it made Emily smile, the way her little voice came out.

“It’s bedtime. Do you want to shower?” Emily asked. JJ thought about it for a moment and tapped Emily’s chest.

“Wif wo!” she said and climbed out of her nest and into her caregivers lap. Emily was so glad the hour to herself in her own world helped her slip properly, slip enough to not care about anything else.

“Of course, monkey. That's fine. Now we have to wait for Tara and Garcia to finish as they are hogging the showers but then we can jump in and get ready. “

“Paci?” JJ asked, leaning back into her caregiver's hold and looking up at the raven-haired woman.

“Mama didn't bring it, baby, I'm sorry.”

JJ huffed and turned back around with a pout on her face.

“But we can nurse all night if you like.”

“In here?”

“Yeah angel, the girls don't mind.” JJ blushed at the thought of the other woman seeing her doing something so vulnerable but knew they truly didn't mind. And plus, Tara had seen it before.

Emily got JJ showered and ready for bed in her pyjamas and they snuggled up on one of the pull-out sofas.

“Mama, mama,” JJ cooed and reached for Emily under the covers, with the fan on it was cool and nice which all the women appreciated.

“Mama’s here,” Emily smiled and grabbed her girl's hands. It wasn't long until JJ was latched to her nipple, nursing. Penelope walked past and cooed softly- despite the blanket over her face, it was still a cute sight.

“Pen, can we have a towel for her to sleep on?” Emily asked, thinking in case of accidents.

“In case she has an accident?” Tara asked.

“Oh I can do better than a towel for that,” Penelope said softly and ran to her bedroom. Emily was grateful they both understood but felt the glare from her little one.

“Its’ to keep the sofa safe from your little bladder,” Emily teased and tickled JJ’s side a little. JJ wiggled under the covers and pushed the hand away, still keeping her latch on Emily’s nipple. Nursing was her favourite comfort.

Penelope returned after a few minutes with a waterproof bedsheet. Emily smiled and they worked as a four to put it on. JJ climbed straight back under the covers and reached for Emily, ready to go to sleep - the whole might have exhausted her.

It wasn't long before she was fast asleep, the other women chatted a little more about the smaller girl, endearingly. JJ, big or small was always the most protected of the group, the most loved and cared for. They all adored their sweet thing and wanted to keep it special- even on girls’ night.

Chapter Text

“JJ! Are you ready to go love?” Emily asked, shouting through the house.

“Almost!” JJ replied. She quickly grabbed her snacks and headed towards the door.

“Come on Jay, any slower,” Emily smirked and motioned out the open door.

“I cominggg!” JJ whined and ran through the front door and over to the car.

Hotch had given the team the morning off due to the late landing last night so Emily and JJ had spent the morning in bed. JJ insisted they watch cartoons and then have a bath but Emily didn’t mind. She knew JJ was wavering between headspaces today but also knew she didn’t have a lot of work to do so she’d be okay. She just had all her fingers crossed there wasn’t going to be a case.

“We listen music?” JJ asked softly from the passenger seat.

“Hm I’m not sure,” Emily teased.

“Whyyy?” JJ pouted, throwing back her head.

“Because I don’t really feel like listening to head shoulders, knees and toes!” Emily laughed. JJ huffed and crossed her arms.

“I’m not that small!”

Emily shot her a smile and turned on the radio. “I know sweet. I’m just teasing.”

“You not funny,” JJ groaned and turned away from Emily.

“Oh come on baby!”

But JJ was stubborn and she didn’t find the joke funny. For the rest of the ride, she stayed turned towards the window, ignoring Emily’s pleas.

“We’re here, come on,” Emily said as they pulled up.

“I know I see dat mama,” JJ grumbled, taking off her belt but Emily put her hand on JJ’s. The younger girl, who had now slipped further in her stubbornness, looked at her caregiver with her ‘evil eyes’.

“Lose the attitude. I was only messing. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but we’re going to have a good day - okay?”

JJ huffed again before getting out of the car and heading towards the doors. Emily rolled her eyes and sighed, getting out and grabbing both their bags.

They got into the elevator and Emily turned to her little one again.

“Sweetheart, are you going to be grumpy all day?”

“I not wo friend,” JJ replied, crossing her arms again.

“Why not?”

“You meanie. I going to spend day with Penny,” she mumbled.

“Okay, okay fine. Here’s your bag, you know where I am if you need me okay?” Emily said, handing JJ her bag as they got out of the lift.

“Mhms, not gonna need you though,” she mumbled and began walking away but Emily grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

“I love you,” she whispered, pulling her closer to her.

“Mamaaaaa,” JJ groaned, turning away but Emily hugged her tight.

“Say it back or the tickle monster will get you,” she whispered.

“Love you,” Jj squealed at the thought of being tickled. Emily let her go and JJ scurried off to Penelope’s office.

Emily entered the bullpen and sighed seeing Garcia stood in there. The team turned to her, confused on where JJ was.

“No blondie?” Derek asked before Emily got the chance to say anything. She set her bag down and shook her head.

“Blondie is grumpy because I made a joke in the car,” she said softly. “She’s gone to find you, Penelope.”

“Oh!” Garcia laughed. “I guess I better go then! See you later guys.” She left the bullpen and rounded the corner just as JJ entered via the top room. The team didn’t notice JJ at first as she crept down the stairs. They began chatting about their nights/mornings and JJ slid into Emily’s chair. She put her fingers on her lips when Spencer saw her and he tried hard to hold back a laugh.

As Emily went to sit, she gasped feeling the younger girl underneath her. She jumped up and screeched as the rest of the team, including JJ burst out laughing.

“Jay!” Emily groaned, realising who the mysterious chair was. “What are you doing missy!”

“Mama your face,” JJ cried, still curled over in laughter.

“You are so cheeky,” Emily laughed, grabbing her little one.

Five minutes later, after the group had calmed down, JJ skipped off back to Garcia’s office. No longer in a serious grump with Emily but still wanting to hang out with her best mate. She also had a surprise for her!

She got to the door and knocked quickly but didn’t wait for a response.

“Pennnnny,” she chimed happily as she skipped in.

“There’s my sweet little sugar plum!” Penelope giggled and opened her arms. JJ crashed into her, attacking her in a hug.

“Penny I gots show yo somefin,” JJ said quickly, scrambling back to her feet.

“Ooh - what is it?” Penelope teased. JJ smiled and quickly pulled down her leggings, revealing her underwear covered in superheroes.

“Look! They super!” And did a twirl. Garcia burst out laughing at the little one's antics.

“They sure are super baby-” But what none of them anticipated was Kevin walking in just as JJ wiggled her bum to show them off more. Penelope gasped and JJ scurried to pull up her pants again. But her cheeks were hot and tears were in her eyes and it made her want to curl up and sob in her mama. Kevin covered his eyes in a haste and Garcia helped the little one with her pants but as soon as they were up, JJ ran from the room, a sob escaping her. She didn’t even bother shutting the door behind her like she is supposed to.

She ran to the bathroom. She didn’t want to see her mama, still grumpy with her. She slid to the floor and cried heavily into her knees. The embarrassment. Hardly even in her headspace any longer, she just felt like a huge hole should appear so it can swallow her up and she never has to face anyone ever again.

“Whatever happened to knocking you absolute feverish silly goose head!” Garica exclaimed. She was angry at Kevin. She hit him with the file in his hand a few times before walking out to find the sobbing blonde. She went to the bullpen, expecting to see JJ in her mama’s arms but stopped, confused, when she saw Emily laughing with the boys. Emily saw her and furrowed her eyebrows. Garcia motioned for Emily to follow and Emily got up quickly.

“What's going on? Where’s Jay?”

“I thought she’d be with you! She ran off from my office.”

“Ran off? Why?”

Garcia sheepishly explained the situation and Emily couldn’t help but laugh at the comical side of it. JJ had been so excited to show Penelope her superhero underwear, both blondes being fans of marvel comics and the films. But now it didn’t go as planned.

“She’ll be in the bathroom,” Emily said and headed in that direction. Garcia followed. As they opened the door they could hear the crying and it broke Emily in half. She hated hearing JJ cry.

“JJ, open the door for mama,” Emily said to the only closed cubicle.

“N-not small,” JJ choked out through her sobs and Emily knew that made it worse as the embarrassment was with her as an adult not a child.

“Sweetheart open the door, it’s okay.”

“D-don’t need you,” JJ whimpered. “Meanie head.”

Emily smiled slightly, despite the situation. She was wavering on headspaces and she was thankful, she could get JJ to slip easier now, hopefully for a nap and she won’t be so grumpy when she wakes up.

“She says, not listening to mama. Open the door meanie head.”

“I not one!” JJ stomped from behind the door.

“You’re not?” Emily gasped.

“No,” JJ sniffled.

“Well you’re going to have to open the door for me to check it’s a JJ head not a meanie head.” The door unlatched and JJ opened it. She was sniffling but still shook her head.

“See mama? JJ head no meanie head.”

Emily smiled a little more and went into the cubicle, leaning in front of her little girl.

“Silly mama, thought you had a meanie head on,” she whispered and grabbed some tissue to softly wipe her away her baby’s lingering tears. “Now, you want to tell mama what got you so upset?”

“I not ‘set,” JJ sniffled.

“Hey, them tears and runny nose tell me otherwise. Talk to mama baby, what’s going on?”

JJ took a big breath, sighing. She felt rubbish and her cheeks grew red again as she tried to explain what happened to Emily.

“So Kevin saw your undies?” Emily asked, trying to hold back her smile.

“An my bum bum shake mama!” JJ gasped, like it was the most atrocious thing in the world. Emily laughed, she couldn’t not.

“He saw your bum bum shake? Your cute little bum bum?” Emily asked and JJ huffed, crossing her arms.

“It no cute! It barrassin-”

“I know baby but it’s a little funny. Plus it’s only Kevin. Aunt Penny’s boyyyyfriend,” she teased and Gaarcia hit her onthe back of the head gently. JJ tried not to smile.

“No fair.”

“I know baby, mama knows but he’ll probably forget by tomorrow! You know what Kevin is like he’s the silliest head of us all.”

JJ really tried not to laugh at that, she really did.

“That’s right JJ, one time, he even forgot to wear his undies!” Garica announced ot the pair. JJ laughed then, covering her mouth and letting out little giggles.

“Really?”

“Yeah! At least you’ve got them on and I bet he’s jealous at how super they are!” JJ smiled more and pulled her pants down, showing Emily and Garcia her undies again.

“They are super undies!”

“They are!” Emily and Garcia agreed.

The rest of the day went on as JJ told every single person she spoke to about her super undies. Thankfully, it was only her team so no more embarrassment. And she didn’t see Kevin again, as he was jealous and was cooped up in his office for the rest of the day, buying his own superhero undies.

Chapter Text

JJ did not feel good. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, her eyes were watery, she couldn't breathe through her nose because it was blocked, sweat was forming on her head and she just laid there, in her bed, hoping she’d survive the night. Her stomach was in knots, she didn’t feel well at all but she couldn't tell anyone.

She looked over at the unoccupied bed in her room and sighed. Her sister, Penelope, was sick too but she was sleeping her their mama’s bed. Pen was really sick, throwing up sick, which meant she was scared and clingy and attached to Emily’s hip and that meant JJ had to try be a big girl and not a nuisance. Anyway, she wasn’t even that sick. It was only a little cold, she could manage it alone.

The night continued on and JJ tossed and turned. She hated not having her sister in her room with her, it felt off. She could hear Penelope getting up a few times and Emily going with her. She could hear their conversations and the comfort Emily was giving Pen. It was all JJ needed but she knew if she even tried to go and get her own comfort, she’d be pushed aside for Penelope. Which was okay, in her eyes, Pen was sicker. She deserved that comfort, that love and JJ was just going to have to manage, as she told herself.

The moon shone through the slit in the curtains and JJ snuck across the room to retrieve one of Penelope’s many stuffed toys. She hoped, maybe, if she had some of Penelope with her in her bed, she’d feel a little better, a little more comforted but it didn’t work. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t sleep.

She heard her mama and sister get up for the fifth time and sighed, she felt horrible. She honestly just wanted her mama. She knew the next day was going to be even worse because none of them had got any sleep so they’re all going to be grouchy. Penelope gets especially grumpy when she’s sick which means more attention on her and JJ being pushed to the side again. She didn’t want it. It was never intentional. JJ was a shy little one, she never spoke up for herself or even really spoke without being spoken to - unless she was in a super good mood and that wasn’t going to happen with her sickness.

She’d tried blowing her nose, she’d tried coughing up the crap from her chest, she’d tried it all but none of it was making her more comfortable to sleep - even Penny’s teddy wasn’t helping and that always helped.

At around 5 am, although unaware of the time herself, JJ decided to bite the bullet and go climb into her mama’s bed, or at least try to see what they were doing. She hadn’t heard them for a while and she hoped if she maybe just went and snuck under the covers whilst they slept they wouldn’t notice her and ask questions. She tiptoed down the hallway and pushed open her mama’s door. She saw them both asleep, Penny closest to the ensuite bathroom and then Emily at the other side of the bed. JJ whimpered, it meant she’d have to crawl up the middle as that was the only room but that meant a huge risk of waking them up. She didn’t want that at all. Swallowing the ball in her throat, she left the room and shut the door quietly again. She tiptoed back down the hallway and crawled into her own bed. She held back the tears for as long as possible but the thought of being in her mama’s arms broke the dam. She cried silently until eventually, her over exhausted, crying body shut off for the night - only half an hour before Emily came to get her up for breakfast.

Emily was under the impression her good girl, JJ, had slept through the night and was going to be nice and refreshed for her day ahead. She left Penelope to sleep, still tired herself however and went to make her best girl some breakfast. As tired as she was, she didn’t want to break their 8am wakeup routine because that then messed up naptime and then messed up the whole day. Once breakfast was ready, she quietly headed into the girl’s shared bedroom and saw JJ sleeping soundly. She headed over to the curtains and opened them first, letting in some nice summer morning sun. She then grabbed a new pull up for her accident prone little one and her clothes for the day as she watched JJ begin to stir from the noise and sun.

“Mama,” she whispered, sitting up and stretching.

“Good morning, sleepy head. Are you ready to start the day?” Emily asked oblivious to her poorly girl.

“No mama,” JJ whispered and laid back down, pulling the blanket over her head.

“Oh come on, mama made your breakfast and got your clothes out. It's going to be a full day of playing and having fun, hm?” Emily said as she walked over. She sat on the side of the bed and then they both heard Penelope’s shout.

“Mama! I sick!” Emily sighed sadly and turned to JJ.

“You get up and get ready then go grab your breakfast whilst mama sorts out your sister, okay? Mama loves you.” She kissed JJ’s head, which was peeking out from under the cover and left the room. JJ sighed loudly, holding back even more tears. She didn’t want to get up and ready, especially not on her own. But nevertheless, her mama had asked her nicely and that meant she had to. Slowly, she peeled the covers off herself and got out of bed. She had no energy, her whole body ached as she took each step towards the bathroom. She wanted to curl up and cry. She took her time getting ready, she went as slow as she could without it hurting too much and had to stop to cough or blow her nose or even just rest her heart. She was exhausted. Her head hurt, it pounded if she bent down too fast or moved her head too quickly.

“JJ, your breakfast is going cold!” Emily shouted up the stairs. In the time it took JJ to get ready, Emily had showered Penelope and got her ready for the day. Although they weren’t going to try food for Pen yet, she needed some fluids and to get out of the bedroom, even if that meant sleeping on the sofa.

“I comin,” JJ replied as loud as her sore throat could let her. She slid her slippers on, using the wall for balance, and headed out of her bedroom with her blanket tucked under her arm. She took the steps one at a time like usual but winced as her head hurt if she went too fast. She just wanted to sleep.

“And the baby arrives,” Emily announced as JJ walked into the kitchen. Penelope, who was sitting at the table with a drink of water in front of her, giggled. “Took your time there, bed head. Did you brush your hair?” Emily asked, taking in the sight of her girl. JJ’s top was backwards, her hair was a mess, she had a bright red nose and rosy cheeks and her slippers were on the wrong feet. JJ sighed and shook her head, she forgot to brush her hair. But shaking her head caused a lot of pain, she winced and grabbed her head with her spare hand. But Emily didn’t see, she had turned to find a hairbrush.

“Sit down baby, mama will do it whilst you eat.” Emily said and JJ went to sit down by her breakfast. “I just warmed it up so it should be okay to eat,” Emily added.

“Fanks mama,” JJ whispered and dug into her porridge. Emily came over with a brush and began brushing through JJ’s blonde hair. She then decided to put a small braid down the back of her hair just to keep it out the way because JJ didn’t often like it too much in her face.

“Mama I go wash cartoon?” Penelope asked sweetly..

“Yeah, do you need mama to do it or are you okay?” Emily asked.

“I okay.” Penelope said and headed into the lounge area. She spread herself out on the sofa with her duvet cover and turned on the TV.

“What would you like to do today, Jay?”

JJ shrugged and took a small bite of her breakfast. Eating was hard, with her head and not being able to breathe properly and everything hurting, she was struggling.

“Sweetheart you've hardly touched your food,” Emily sighed. “Are you okay?” She asked and sat in the seat beside her. She touched JJ’s head with the back of her hand and JJ sniffled. Just as she went to shake her head, they heard the sound of Penny being sick - again.

“I’ll be back, stay there baby,” Emily said and quickly ran off. JJ sighed. She listened to the commotion whilst trying to still eat but eventually just pushed the bowl away. She couldn’t eat anymore. She put her head on the cold table and it helped her cool off. She tried not to fall asleep, waiting for her mama to come back but she couldn’t help it.

Twenty minutes later, Emily came back to see JJ asleep on the table. She couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. Penelope was back on the sofa, watching her cartoons half asleep. She had time to attend to her other sick little girl. She grabbed the thermometer first and stuck it against JJ’s head as she slept and it was way too high. She was sweating and shivering at the same time and even sniffling in her sleep. Emily cursed herself for not noticing it sooner.

“JJ, princess,” she rubbed her back and cooed at her as her little one’s eyes flickered open.

“Hm I sorry mama, no mean sleep,” she whispered. She pulled her sleeves over her hands as she sat up.

“It’s okay baby, how long have you felt poorly hm?” Emily asked and sat beside JJ.

“Not- not poorly,” JJ said and turned away, sniffling as her nose was still blocked. Emily handed her a tissue from the box.

“I know I’ve been busy with Penelope but that doesn’t mean you get neglected. Have you been poorly all night?” JJ whimpered and nodded, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. She wiped them, she didn’t want to cry.

“Hey,” Emily whispered and rubbed her back. “Shall I get you some medicine?”

“No need it,” JJ whispered.

“Yes you do, stay there,” Emily said. JJ sighed and stayed sat, she wasn’t able to go anywhere anyway, she was far too exhausted. Emily grabbed some medicine and came back over. She helped JJ take it and then sighed, looking at her poorly girl. She really didn’t look well.

“You came in for cuddles last night, didn’t you?”

“It otay,” JJ whispered and wiped her eyes again. Why was she so emotional?

“Come on my baby, let’s go cuddle on the couch. I think Penelope’s watching bear.” Emily picked JJ up from the chair with ease and JJ wrapped herself around her caregiver, never wanting to let go.

“Budge up Pen, your sister needs some cuddles,” Emily said as she entered the living area. Penelope pulled her knees up, letting her caregiver and sister sit down but never taking her eyes off the big dancing bear on the TV. JJ didn’t turn around to see it, she just buried her head in Emily’s neck and began nursing softly.

“Mama’s got you, now,” Emily said and rubbed her back. JJ didn’t respond, already half asleep.

“I love you my princess.” She whispered in JJ’s ear and that sent JJ off into a nice sleep, a restful one this time.

Chapter Text

“where’s my princess?” elle cheered, opening the door to garcia’s office.

“maaaa!” jj gasped, jumping from her seat on the floor and into elle’s arms.

“oh i missed you!” elle had been on a case with the team and jj had stayed back with penelope.

“i miss you ma!” jj giggled, snuggling into elle as much as she could.

“have you been a good girl?”

“she’s been the best!” garcia laughed, standing up.

“and and and and and and ma look!” jj jumped back and picked a piece of paper. she handed it to elle whilst rocking on her tiptoes, smiling ear to ear. elle examined it a minute.

“well well well,” elle chuckled. “this is amazing baby. did garcia help you!”

“mhmm! i jus had one accident ma! but i did it alllll, even at nap times!” jj said, super proud of her success at making it to the bathroom this week.

“i’m so proud of you!”

“really?” jj shrieked, beginning to flap her arms in joy.

“yes baby! you did so so good!!”

it wasn’t long before the pair found themselves in the local icecream shop. jj was trying hard to not show her obvious regressed side but elle didn’t mind. they sat in a small booth, elle with a tub of mint choc chip and jj with her come of vanilla. it was all around her mouth but elle found it amusing.

“you catch the bad guy ma?”

elle giggled and nodded. “we did.”

“did derek go ‘pow pow pow’?” she giggled, pretending to punch the air.

“no baby, ma went pow pow pow,” elle laughed and did gentle taps on jj’s cheeks. the laugh from jj echoed around the shop and it made a large smile spread across elle’s face. she loved her little monkey more than anything.

“right, bed time!” elle clapped coming into the living room. jj sat on the rug playing with the small sofia the first toys.

“no ma i is playing,” jj said back.

“i warned you five minutes ago, come on.”

“maaa, i got play,” jj whined.

“jayyy,” elle replied and came up behind her.

“MA NO,” she wailed, flying herself back into elle’s legs. elle sighed, placing her hands on her hips. “you’re tired. come on.”

“no no no no no,” jj cried, banging her feet with each no and rubbing her eyes. she was tired but she couldn’t admit that.

“right,” elle said, moving away from jj. jay whined louder and fell back onto the floor, flailing her arms and legs around. having a full on tantrum.

elle sighed and just began packing up jj’s toys. the blonde, far too overwhelmed and fussed didn’t even notice. next, elle went to the kitchen and made up jj a bottle of warm milk. she knew her girl was overtired, fussed and just needed some good rest.

walking back into the living area, she noticed her little one lying still on the floor. her breaths were deep and she rubbed her eyes with her knuckles.

“let’s go my princess,” elle whispered, hauling jj off the floor and into her arms. jj whimpered but snuggled into her ma.

already in her pjs, from after her bath, elle settled jj on the bed before climbing in next to her. jj whined and reached for elle, snuggling into her ma. elle held the bottle for her girl and jj started drinking it, once again rubbing her eyes. elle drew patterns along her babies arms, up and down in gentle motions- keeping her calm.

“ma,” jj whimpered.

“shh princess. close them baby blues,” elle sung gently.

it wasn’t long before jj’s soft snores. elle held her jj tightly. they slept together, jj soaking up elle’s love.

Chapter Text

“Wakey wakey little princess,” Elle whispered in her blonde baby’s ear, “It’s time to get up.” JJ whined and rolled away from Elle’s chest. Elle laughed and climbed out of bed, turned the big light on causing a loud groan from the bed.

“Maaaaa,” JJ cried out, flicking her legs as Elle just chuckled in response. This was the reaction she received every single morning. Elle laughed, ignoring the wails and entered the ensuite bathroom. She turned on the shower and then some music before stepping in, waiting for her blonde beauty to join her. A few minutes later, JJ dragged herself from the bed, blanket and teddy in her hand and shuffled into the bathroom.

“Come on, it’s not going to be warm forever,” Elle chuckled. JJ whined again, rubbing her eyes and dropped her things on the floor. She took off her t-shirt and let her soggy pull up drop to the floor too. Elle held her hand as she stepped into the shower and they got all cleaned up, ready for a day of work.

“JJ,” Elle laughed as JJ tried to climb back under the covers after her shower. She wasn’t even dry. “You’re getting the bed all wet you monkey. Get here,” Elle climbed onto the bed, straddling her little girl and JJ giggled loudly as Elle leaned over her.

“I tired,” JJ muttered, smirking up at her Ma.

“Yeah?” Elle laughed. “Well I’m tired of you getting my bed soaking wet. Get dressed,” she climbed off JJ.. JJ whined before sitting up.

“Maaaa,” she cried, reaching out to Elle who began getting dressed.

“Yes my princess?” Elle asked, knowing exactly what JJ wanted. The same thing she wanted every morning. JJ huffed and threw herself towards Elle, giggling loudly.

“Ma help,” she whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around Elle who was in the middle of getting dressed herself.

“I can’t help if you’re being a koala,” Elle chuckled, hugging JJ close to her regardless.

“Jus cuddwe quick,” JJ mumbled, snuggling into Elle.

Twenty minutes later, they were in the kitchen. JJ was sitting on the kitchen counter, her bunny in her hand and paci in her mouth as she swung her legs gently. Elle moved around the kitchen with haste.

“Ma ‘ou go f’y ‘ound like ‘abbit!” JJ giggled through her paci, throwing her bunny up in the air and catching it.

“Yeah because we’re running late,” Elle replied.

“Why Ma, no be ‘a’e,” JJ shrugged.

“Because,” Elle giggled, turning to her blonde princess. “Someone didn’t want to get dressed this morning!” She tickled JJ’s stomach causing JJ to curl over, giggling loudly.

“‘unnnny, dat so cheeky. ‘ou have ‘isten to ma when s’e tew ‘ou get d’ess!” JJ giggled, scolding her bunny. Elle laughed and carried on packing them both some food.

“Right, let’s go. Have you got everything?” Elle asked, picking up the car keys. JJ looked around the room, inspecting it and then nodded. “Good girl.” Elle took her hand but just as they stepped out the door JJ gasped.

“Ma! I need wee,” she whispered quietly, bending her legs. Elle laughed and opened the door for her.

“Go on then, be quick,” she told the young girl. JJ quickly ran through the house to the bathroom though Elle could see the door to the downstairs toilet from the front door. She just shook her head in disbelief. JJ was her absolute favourite. JJ ran back downstairs a few minutes later.

“Did you wash your hands missy?”

“Yes ma! See!” She waved her wet hands around and Elle laughed.

“Let’s go.”

“You know where I am if you need me,” Elle said softly to JJ in the elevator. JJ nodded and smiled up at her caregiver.

“Have a good day,” JJ whispered to Elle, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“Good girl, you too.” Elle gave JJ a sneaky kiss on the lips before they exited the lift.

Lunch time came around and the day had been pretty slow for most of the team, however, JJ was suffering in silence in her office. She’d had multiple calls from different precincts this morning asking for help and her pile of cases that needed reviewing seemed so much larger than normal. She could feel herself get more and more overwhelmed by the minute. When an email came in from Hotch, asking to see her in his office she huffed loudly before throwing her head in her hands.

She grabbed some cases before heading out of her office. She didn’’t want to see anyone or speak to anyone, she wanted to get to Hotch’s office.

“Morning JJ, how was-” she charged straight past Spencer. He was the last person she wanted to see. Always buddying up to her Elle. Sitting next to her on the plane, making jokes with her, sharing glances with her Ma. Not his. Hers. Spencer was definitely not the one she wanted to see.

“Whoa,” Elle said, reached her hands out, noticing her blank Spencer. However, JJ walked straight past Elle too - jogging up the stairs.

“Is she okay?” Morgan asked, joining everyone’s concerned faces pointing in that direction.

Twenty minutes later, JJ emerged from Hotch’s office still with a face of thunder. She ignored everyone’s glances, especially Elle’s before heading back to her office with haste. Elle sighed, put down her file and headed after her. Her little girl was stressed and clearly upset and she wasn’t going to let her sit with that alone.

Elle entered JJ’s office and quietly shut the door behind her before heading around to her desk. JJ was curled up, under the desk, sobbing heavily into her knees.

“Oh princess,” Elle whispered, moving to sit besides her girl. “What’s going on, hm?” Elle moved closer to JJ and almost instantly, the young girl climbed into her Ma’s lap.

“So much,” JJ cried heavily into Elle’s neck, getting herself into her favourite koala position.

“Okay, take deep breaths. We’ll work through it sweetheart,” Elle reassured her girl, caressing her hair and beginning to rock them both. In her ma’s comforting arms, it didn’t take JJ long to calm down completely. Her breathing settled so much, she was in a sort of sleepy state.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elle asked softly.

“Busy,” JJ whimpered.

“You’re busy?”

“Mhm,” she whimpered and sat up, rubbing her eyes, “Too much ma.” Her eyes filled with tears again and Elle pouted, caressing JJ’s cheeks.

“No more tears now princess. Would you like Ma to help you sort it out?” JJ nodded and sighed, letting her shoulders slump. “Good girl. We’ll get this sorted and then we can head home early - okay?”

“And nap?”

Elle chuckled a little and nodded; JJ loved her naps. “We can nap. Let’s get it done first.”

They began getting to work on prirotising cases and sorting through files. It wasn’t long before the pair were done and JJ was resting her sleepy head on Elle’s shoulders.

“Let’s go say goodbye to the team and then I’ll take you home,” Elle whispered softly, taking JJ’s hand. JJ whimpered but got up anyway, to say goodbye.

Before they were even out of the car park, JJ was fast asleep in her special seat. It was like a car seat in the back of the car, to help support baby JJ. Elle could tell she was quite far in headspace so supported her accordingly. Elle drove around a little while, listening to her podcast while making sure JJ had a sufficient nap. Elle still had to get some work done at home but she assumed JJ would be good as gold, as usual. Though clingy, JJ was the best behaved for Elle. She was cheeky, she was sassy but in the best way. Elle loved her so much and seeing her now, in her mirror, her heart swelled with love for her little monkey.

Chapter Text

For the entire time, JJ had been worried sick. Her mama was stuck inside a train carriage with a crazy guy with a gun who was seeing more crazy guys and it was so scary! Everyone was scared for Elle, apart from Elle, but JJ was beyond worried. The entire time, watching the security footage, she felt her heart in her throat because that was her mama - there on that train. She could die.

JJ watched from behind the cop car, where Hotch had ordered her to stay. Hotch could tell she was scared, more scared than any of them. Hotch knew all about her littleness and how Elle was her caregiver and he knew, to his core, how terrified little JJ was. Yet, he had to remain professional. He kept one close eye on his girl, however, protecting her at all costs, whilst he tried to save her mama.

As Gideon walked up to the carriage, JJ’s heart was beating so hard she could feel it in her ears. Then, as soon as the shots went off, she collapsed to the floor in a panic. Her hands covered her ears, her head buried itself in her knees and she shook - her entire body shook. She didn’t see what happened next, she didn’t hear anything until Hotch was lifting her off the ground. He sat her in the back of the cop car and caressed her hair, whispering that things were okay.

“Mama?” JJ cried, looking up at the boss through her cloudy eyes.

“She’s okay,” he told her, cupping her cheeks. “They shot the man, Elle’s okay.” JJ’s whole body slumped in relief and she put her head on Hotch’s chest. He took out a handkerchief for his girl and wiped her eyes gently, as well as her nose. “She’s just over there with Spencer. Maybe you can convince her to get checked over at the hospital, hm,” he sniggered a little. “That’s your mission.”

“My mission?”

“Mhm, get your mama to the hospital for a check-up. Think you can do that?” JJ nodded, although nervous. Was Elle really okay if she had to go to the hospital? “Good girl, I’ll see you soon.” He kissed her head before walking off to speak to a police officer. JJ jumped from the cop car and headed around the back of the rest of the cars. Ambulances had flooded the scenes as well as a few news reporters and more cops but JJ didn’t mind. She saw Elle.

She had bandages on her bruised cheek and was speaking with Spencer and Gideon. It worried her. Everyone was worrying about her mama. As they should be. JJ had to be strong now. As Gideon walked away, JJ shuffled closer, fiddling with her hands. Elle noticed and smiled, reaching out one arm to her girl whilst continuing her conversation with Spencer. JJ sighed with relief and hurried over quicker. She didn’t cuddle into Elle like she wanted to though. She had to make sure Elle was okay first. Spencer left, knowing JJ would want to speak to Elle alone and Elle turned her attention to her baby girl.

“I was looking for you,” Elle whispered, grabbing JJ’s hands. JJ smiled a little, forcefully.

“I was just- erm clearing things up with the reporters,” she lied. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay baby, are you okay?” JJ nodded and glanced towards an ambulance.

“You have to go get checked at the hospital,” she said gently. “Hotch said.”

“Oh he did, did he?” Elle teased. She could tell JJ was pushing away her small side. She could tell her girl was struggling and she had no doubts it would happen. On the train, all she could think about (as well as getting out alive) was JJ and she hoped she was okay. ~

“Mhm, he said, erm,” she lowered her eyes - trying so hard not to slip and then sighed when Elle stood up in front of her. Slightly taller than JJ, it instantly made her feel so small. Elle just wanted to get her away from the public eye but she knew that she won’t get real little JJ until they were home.

“I bet we have to go to the hospital then, you coming?” Elle asked, holding out her hand. JJ nodded but put her hands behind her back. She was a big girl, she didn’t need to hold anyone’s hand.

“Oh you got checked over then,” Spencer said as Elle emerged from the hospital room.

“Yep, working fine as I suspected,” Elle laughed and nudged Specner’s shoulder. They headed into the waiting room together to be greeted by the team. Hotch was standing up, Rossi was reading a magazine, Derek was on his phone and JJ was curled in the corner, half asleep. Elle smiled warmly. She couldn’t wait to get home and just snuggle up with her. When she noticed the two in the room, JJ woke up a little and did a little skip over to the rest of the team who had congregated around Spencer and Elle.

“How about we head for some food?” Spencer asked. “There is this new Chinese place I’ve been wanting to check out.” Elle looked at him and the rest of the team all agreed before her eyes landed on her girl. Her shoulders were slumped and the one thing Elle was forever grateful for was JJ’s poker face. It was non-existent.

“I think I’ll pass tonight,” Elle said, on behalf of JJ too. “I’m pretty tired and could do with a shower.” Everyone else already knew JJ’s answer so didn’t wait for a response before heading off. Hotch grabbed his bag from the corner of the room first, leaving them three the only ones in the waiting room. Elle eyed JJ, as she shuffled her feet on the floor and avoided eye contact with everyone.

“I told you she’d be okay, hm,” Hotch muttered, putting an arm around JJ’s shoulder but JJ huffed and moved away from him.

“Hey, Jay,” Elle sighed, she didn’t like her little one being rude. Hotch, however, brushed it off.

“Get some good rest, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, tapping Elle’s shoulder before heading out.

“What’s going on little love?” Elle mumbled, walking over to JJ and lifting her chin. However, with tears streaming down her face, JJ moved her head so she couldn’t be seen and turned around. “Now, now,” Elle whispered. “None of that.”

“It’s so stupid,” JJ grumbled, huffing and stomping her foot.

“Okay, you might think so but I don’t,” Elle said.

“It is.” JJ huffed. “It stupid stupid stupid, stupid!” She groaned and pulled at her hair. Whilst wanting to give her space, Elle wasn’t going to let the younger girl hurt herself. She grabbed JJ’s hands and sat down in one of the bigger chairs in the waiting room before pulling JJ into her lap.

“Noooo,” JJ tried to fight but Elle was stronger. She knew there was a car outside to take them home but she didn’t want JJ to be this fussy or take this negative energy home with them.

In Elle’s arms, with the silence of the nighttime hospital around them, JJ began to calm down.

“I got so worried about you being hurt,” Jj whispered.

“But I’m not hurt, I’m okay. I’m right here.”

“I know,” JJ sighed. “That’s why it's stupid.”

“You’re feelings are not stupid. They never have been nor will they ever be.” Elle began. “What we have is so special Jay and I want to protect you all the time. You being worried, is so normal. However, mama i here now. I’m safe, I’m right here holding you and I’m not going anywhere for the foreseeable. You can relax, you can cuddle me, you can talk to me. I’m right here.”

“You promise?”

“I promise you, my girl, I’m right here now.”

The pair headed home and JJ was in higher spirits. They got into the bath together, full of bubbles and whilst JJ played, Elle drew soft patterns on her back. They ordered curry, their favourite and watched Bluey - upon JJ’s request. Elle loved it though, almost as much as JJ. They snuggled up under their weighted blanket, JJ’s blonde hair sprawled across Elle’s chest and their arms securely around each other.

“Mama” JJ whispered, half asleep.

“Yes, princess?”

“Don’t ever go to Texas again.”

Chapter Text

JJ whimpered as the team filed into the cars. She wanted to ride with Elle. She really, really wanted to ride with Elle. Elle knew. Elle knew what was going to happen. JJ supposed it’d be best not to ride home with Elle actually because then it might happen in front of the team. She couldn’t let it happen in front of the team. Elle was away with Derek, so she couldn’t ride with her, even if she wanted to.

“Hey you,” she heard Hotch whisper from behind her as his hand met the curve of her back. She turned her head slightly, looking up at him with, big, scared, Bambi eyes.

“Come,” he muttered and took hold of her hand. She whimpered but followed him behind the SUV so no one could see them. JJ trembled as she stood in front of Hotch. It had been an emotionally draining case for them all and Hotch was so unbelievably proud of how she went face-to-face with Jacob. They hadn’t had the chance to discuss it yet but her quietness, the way she kept herself to the corner, since coming out of his cell, meant she was clearly distressed. She just didn’t want to show it during the case.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, taking her into his arms. JJ sighed heavily and let Hotch’s strong arms wrap around her. “You did such a good job, Princess,” he added.

“Thank you,” JJ whimpered back, letting her hands cover her face as she buried herself into Hotch’s hold.

“Elle?” JJ whispered, looking up at Hotch after a few minutes.

“She’ll meet us back at the office and then she’ll take you home. Is that okay?” he asked, moving some hair from her face. JJ only nodded, blinking back her tears. Hotch grabbed her bag from the trunk of the car before getting out her headphones and placing them gently on her head.

“It’s late,” he said softly. “You should rest, in the passenger seat, hm?” JJ nodded and Hotch opened the car door for her. She climbed in and got her seatbelt on. Garcia got into the back and Spencer and Gideon got into the other car.

They got back to the BAU office and Hotch shook JJ awake gently as Elle approached the car. Garcia hopped out, saying her quick goodbyes to everyone before going to her car. As soon as Elle opened the passenger door, JJ regressed. She reached for Elle, clinging to her t-shirt and Elle grabbed her small girl, caressing her back.

“Oh I’ve got you sweet girl,” Elle mumbled, kissing JJ’s head before helping her out of the car.

“Keep an extra eye on her tonight, Elle,” Hotch said gently.

“I will do. Thank you, have a nice evening.”

Back at home, JJ was just as clingy.

“How about a bath my love?” Elle suggested, caressing JJ’s hair. “You loveeeee your baths. We can even put your crayons in there!” JJ shook her head, burying it further into Elle. “what about a shower?”

“Nooo,” JJ whined, just cuddling further into Elle.

“Okay love, bedtime it is then.” JJ nodded and began heading up the stairs, dragging Elle with her. Elle went into her room and JJ followed quickly and grabbed her special case from under the bed. She opened it with haste then whipped out her onesies and blankets, looking for one thing in particular. However, she couldn't find it. She let out an almighty cry and threw her head back. However, in the distress, she didn’t anticipate the bedside table and the surging pain through the back of her head caused another scream.

“Jay!” Elle cried, running round. JJ was sobbing into her legs, clutching at her head with heavy tears flooding her face.

“Oh baby,” Elle said, bringing JJ into her arms.

“Ow,” she cried, trying to cuddle into Elle.

“Let me look baby, let ma help.” Elle moved her hands and JJ continued to cry in Elle’s shoulder. “It’s not cut baby, it’s just going to bruise and maybe bump. Shall we go get you some ice?” JJ nodded, still sobbing her little heart out. Elle sighed, picked up her baby and together they headed downstairs. Jay cried into Elle’s hair, gripping her Ma like her life depended on it.

“It’s okay Princess, you’re okay.”

Elle sat JJ on the counter and grabbed her a kitten icepack out of the freezer, sometimes it’s used when she’s super small and she needs something cold to chew on but it worked wonders as an icepack too. She wrapped it in a thin cloth and handed it to her girl.

“You hold it, baby,” she whispered to Jay, lifted her hand up to hold it in place and JJ did so, whimpering still. Elle quickly worked around the kitchen, making her princess up a bottle and then grabbing a warm wipe to help calm her down. She moved between JJ’s legs and JJ sniffled, watching her ma intently. Elle was gentle with her hands and moved some of JJ’s hair from her face.

“You’re okay,” she whispered. “Deep breaths.” She wiped her tears and her nose.

“It hurt,” JJ whimpered, moving the icepack but Elle guided it back.

“It will darling, I’ll get you some medicine in a minute. Can you tell me what made you so upset?”

“Ros gone,” she shrugged as a whole new set of tears began.

“Ros? Your teddy?” JJ had a small, Winnie the Pooh bear, which was her sister's. She didn’t cuddle with it all the time, she didn’t need to but on certain days - that was all she wanted but she couldn’t find it in her suitcase.

“Did you forget we washed it?” Elle asked, reaching into the ‘washed’ basket of things and handing it to JJ. Jay instantly gasped, dropped her icepack and wrapped her arms around her Ros. Elle giggled as JJ wiped her tears with the bear and began muttering to it softly- as she always does.

Once her bottle was made up, Elle put some dissolvable painkillers in there before picking up her girl and heading back up to bed. She got JJ changed as she lay on the bed, drinking her bottle softly. As JJ climbed under the covers, Elle got herself changed and then grabbed them a book to read. The Snail and the Whale. Not even three pages in, JJ was fast asleep cuddled into Elle’s side. Elle grabbed a picture before sending it to Hotch as a reassurance that his girl was okay after the challenging day. Elle had taken good care of her. As always.

Chapter Text

Elle hastily walked up to Emily’s desk and put down a leaflet.

“What’s this?” Emily asked. She picked it up, inspected it and smiled, “For Saturday?”

“I can book out the whole butterfly house and she can spend as long as she wants there,” Elle said.

“Perfect.” Emily agreed.

Saturday morning came around and JJ stretched as she began to wake up. Today was her birthday. She was so excited to spend her birthday with her favourite people. Elle had a surprise for her but she didn’t know what it was. She just knew that her little self was going to love it. Sitting up, she grabbed her bunny before throwing off the covers. Waddling across the hall, she sang a little birthday song to herself. She pushed open the door to Elle’s room and saw Emily and Elle curled up in bed together. She huffed before climbing across their legs to scoot into the middle. She sat up in the middle of the bed, grabbed the TV remote then turned on her favourite show in the entire world: Bluey.

“Jay?” Emily whispered softly, reaching an arm out.

“Bluey,” JJ replied, pointing to the happy blue dog on the large TV. Emily laughed before rolling over, closer to her birthday girl. She put her head in JJ’s lap and JJ laughed. She ran her fingers through her caregiver’s brunette hair and giggled at her show.

Not long after, Elle woke up and headed to the bathroom. Emily, fast asleep on JJ’s lap, didn’t notice the bed shift and neither did JJ, too engrossed with Bluey. Elle climbed back into bed and kissed JJ’s temple, causing a broad smile on her face.

“Happy Birthday, my little princess,” Elle whispered. JJ giggled and threw up her hands before cheering.

“Birthday!” Emily groaned and sat up before rolling over, causing the other two to laugh.

“Shall we go get birthday pancakes?” Elle asked, putting JJ’s blonde hair over her shoulder. JJ nodded and climbed out of bed.

“Pancakes?” Emily mumbled in her sleepy state.

The three got themselves comfortable in the car, JJ in the back with her headphones on. The journey was about two hours long and the caregivers hoped their little one could nap.

“Mama, when we gon be there?” JJ shouted.

“In about two hours,” Emily replied.

“Nuff time watch movie?” JJ shouted again.

“Why don’t you try nap baby?” Elle suggested, watching the blonde through the mirror.

“Nuh uh, movie,” JJ mumbled. She slid her paci in her mouth before pressing play on the film. The caregivers hoped she could still get some decent rest whilst she was watching it. Even if she doesn’t necessarily nap, she can relax.

The morning had been quite hectic. With friends visiting, dropping off presents, opening of presents, pancakes and toys! JJ had had a blast already; Elle and Emily hoped the day would only continue to be great for their birthday girl.

Not even halfway through the journey, JJ was fast asleep. With her head resting on her hand, her blonde hair fell in front of her face and little whimpers escaped her ajar mouth as she dreamed.

“Baby girl,” Elle whispered softly, stroking JJ’s cheek. They’d parked up at the zoo and whilst Emily got the baby’s bag sorted, Elle worked on waking up the sleeping beauty.

“Mama,” JJ whimpered, still half asleep.

“It’s time to wake up princess, we’re here.” At those words, JJ’s eyes shot open and her face exploded with a smile.

“Here!” JJ gasped. She jumped from her seat to see where they were. “The ZOO!” She practically jumped into Elle’s arms in glee. “I LOVE THE ZOO!” She cheered. Elle and Emily couldn’t help but cheer along.

“Put these on sweetheart, then we can go in,” Emily held up the reigns but JJ frowned and crossed her arms.

“No need them,” she huffed. She just wanted to go in and explore! She wanted to see all the animals, not be tied to her silly caregivers who walk too slowly.

“Jay,” Emily warned, raising her eyebrows at her.

“Nooo,” JJ cried, stomping her feet. “You too slow!” She didn’t want it.

“Okay, okay,” Elle said. She put her hands on JJ’s shoulders and made sure the little one was looking at her.

“Maaaaa,” JJ whined, looking at her caregiver.

“None of this,” Elle shook her head. “You’re going to put them on. I don’t care how slow we are. You are our little one and we have to keep you safe. You’re excited and will run off.

“No no no,” JJ shook her head.

“Okay then, back in the car,” Elle said. JJ cried loudly at that. “Are you going to put them on and listen?” Elle asked.

JJ thought for a moment, her arms crossed and face foul, “Fine.”

Emily stepped forwards and helped her put them on, clasping it at the front. “No more of this attitude either,” she reminded her, tapping her nose. JJ scrunched up her face and huffed.

“Seriously Jay, do you want to go home?” Elle asked, crossing her arms.

“Noo! I want go animals,” she mumbled, pointing at the zoo.

“Then I suggest you take a few deep breaths and calm down. We aren’t taking a little girl with attitude into the zoo. Birthday or not.” Elle made sure she had her keys and phone before taking JJ’s hand. JJ sighed and before she could take another step, wrapped her arms around Elle’s waist. Elle stopped and hugged her girl back.

“Sorry ma,” JJ mumbled into Elle’s neck.

“Thank you, baby. I just need you to think about what you’re doing.”

They got into the zoo with no more hiccups and managed to even convince JJ to try on the toilet before they went too far.

“What first angel?” Emily asked, making sure she had a good grip on the reigns as JJ excitedly looked around her. Her whole body bounced up and down in anticipation as she decided which way she wanted to go.

“Elepants!” She declared. She began towards the sandy enclosure and her caregivers followed. Elle kept an eye out for their friends who were meeting them at the zoo, ready for a meal at the penguin bridge restaurant later on in the afternoon. After the meal, they were heading to the butterfly house which Elle had specifically hired for the afternoon - allowing her little one to have all the free reign she likes.

Later that day, the group of three headed into the Penguin Bridge Restaurant and were greeted by their teammates.

“Friends!” JJ cheered, jumping into Derek’s open arms. He spun her around before she leaned backwards into Garcia who caught her. Elle and Emily greeted everyone too whilst the birthday girl was passed around the group.

“Let’s sit! What’s the little one drinking?” Dave asked, putting his hand on JJ’s back as she sat in the chair at the top of the table.

“Pink Milk!” JJ cried.

“Inside voices please, Jay,” Emily warned, giving her girl a stern look.

“Pink milk, please,” JJ said, using her inside voice. Emily rolled her eyes and Elle went to speak to the waitress.

After the meal, the group headed towards the butterfly house. JJ had been begging to go all day but Elle had been putting it off for this moment. JJ skipped, holding Penelope’s hand. She was rambling to her about all the butterflies she knew. Garcia was nodding along pretending to know what she was on about.

JJ ran in as soon as the butterfly house was in sight and was in awe. The little creatures flying around captivated her imagination.

“They’re like fairies!” Hotch said, putting an arm around JJ’s shoulder as she took in the sights in front of her.

“No dada,” JJ mumbled, pushing off. “They're butterfies!” she cheered and ran into it but Elle grabbed her wrist quickly before she could go any further.

“Mama!” JJ whined loudly.

“One second, just a few rules,” Elle laughed. JJ huffed. “You have to be quiet in here okay, working voices please. We also need to make sure you’re super gentle with them. We’re going to let you explore but you’re not allowed to leave the butterfly house. If you do, we’ll be going straight home. Okay?”

“Okay mama, I go nowwww,” she tugged her arm and Elle let her go. Instantly, she ran over to the bridge.

There was a little silver stream flowing under the wooden bridge with lilypads floating across it. The bright lights from the sun, shining through the glass roof, created rainbow reflections on the water, attracting more butterflies. JJ hung over the side of the bridge and dipped her fingertips in the chilling water. It brushed past her pink nails, causing her to giggle and watch the water move around her. She gasped softly at the goldfish swimming past her too and she followed them under her feet and to the other side.

A flash of yellow caught her attention and she glanced up from the shimmering river. On the pink flower in front of her, stood a butterfly with bright, proud yellow wings. Black lined the outer edge of the wing and white spots were dotted across it. Jj admired it before it flew off. Excited, JJ followed it, only to be stopped by the sight of a purple hairstreak. It landed on the trees abundant with leaves beside her. Holding her breath, she leaned closer. The wings were scattered with purple glitter and she smiled, in awe at the beauty of nature. A purple Emperor landed beside it, his wings were covered in a vibrant purple, just like the flowers hidden under the trees and JJ truly was astonished.

Her entire childhood was spent researching, collecting and wanting to know more and more about the fragile creatures but her mother never allowed it. However, now, in the greenhouse full of life, beauty and fluttering insect angels, she felt at home. In her little element.

Continuing to explore, JJ found some stepping stones over the same stream. Giggling she jumped across them as three butterflies chased each other around her body. She skipped through the human-high flowers and plants, running her hands through the greenery. Completely in her own little world, her caregivers and friends watched on. As the sun began to set over the greenhouse, the orange and pink sky paintings reflected on her blonde hair as it swung through the plants and flowers. Butterflies landed on her hand, her arms and her feet when she stood still - as if they knew how much JJ cared for them and loved them. She was a butterfly person; she was the butterfly person.

Half an hour before the zoo closed, the zookeeper came in and announced the closing of the butterfly house for the night. Disappointment flooded JJ but with Garcia’s quick promise to bring her back super soon, the tired girl clung to Elle’s hand as they headed towards the gift shop. Emily bought her birthday girl a ‘raise your own butterfly’ kit whilst each of the team bought her a different butterfly teddy. These teddies, in partnership with butterfly conservation, all came with a special sponsorship of their own butterfly as well as an information card for each. JJ was in awe and felt so grateful to have such amazing friends. However, the long day was creeping up on her.

The group stood outside the gift shop saying their goodbyes. Hotch clipped some human sized butterfly wings to the back of JJ’s t-shirt and she giggled before climbing up onto Derek’s back.

“Oh my, Derek there’s a butterfly on your back!” Emily teased, taking a picture of the cute moment.

“A sleepy butterfly,” Elle chuckled. She put some hair behind JJ’s ear and JJ sent them all a soft smile before putting her head down on Derek’s shoulder. He carried her back to the car where Elle slid the wings off her back, got the pink reigns off and then together, they got her in her seat.

Elle’s hand rested on Emily’s leg as they drove towards the sunset. The birthday girl slept softly in the back, dreaming of butterflies.

Chapter Text

“it’s time to get ready for bed sweet girl,” elle said softly, coming into jj’s nursery. the little was playing with her Sylvanian family figures. her treehouse was set up, campervan and BBQ.

“can i have five more minutes ma?” jj whined, looking up at elle with puppy eyes.

“you can have until your bath is ready but i want it all tidied up before your story - got it?”

jj nodded and smiled, “got it.”

elle went to run the bath. she liked it up to jj’s waist, full of bubbles and special baby wash to keep her darling’s skin soft. on top of that, she had to make sure her baby smelt so so scrumptious. she dropped her light up duck in there and got her shampoo and conditioner, strawberry scented, down from the shelf.

“jj!” she shouted from the bathroom.

“i comin!” jj replied. elle heard the patter of her feet across the hallway before she jumped into the bathroom. naked.

“baby, where are your clothes?” elle laughed.

“i put them in wash basket ma,” jj smiled. she was proud of herself.

“okay good girl. get in, it’s nice and warm for you,” elle said softly. she held out her hand to make sure her girl didn’t slip.

“ma?”

“yes princess?” elle was massaging the shampoo into jj’s scalp.

“i has question,” jj replied. she began to fiddle with the facecloth.

“what is it?”

“erm, why did you wan look afer me?” her question was quiet, nervous. it made elle furrow her eyebrows in confusion.

“why?”

“mhm.”

“because when i first saw it, you regressed, i knew that i was looking at a very sweet little girl who needed a whole lot of love. i wanted to try and give that to you,” elle replied.

“will you alway love me?”

“always, always, always,” elle mumbled and squeezed jj’s shoulders. she leaned down behind her girl and kissed her cheek.

it wasn’t long before elle was making up jj’s nighttime bottle. she’d set the girl on the mission of tidying up. elle was thinking about the bath time conversation, about how sad jj sounded and it broke her heart. jj needed all the love in the world, she deserved it.

“you done baby?” elle asked, coming into the nursery. jj sat in the middle of the floor, playing with her hands. her things were tidied up but she looked so, so sad.

“hey,” elle whispered, kneeling down beside jj. “what’s going on sweet heart?”

“i seep wif you?” she didn’t look up, didn’t even move.

“you can sleep with me, of course. do you want to talk about your feelings?” elle asked. jj shook her head and climbed to her feet. she grabbed her blanket and bunny before leaving her nursery silently. elle followed, her bottle, paci and a book in her hand.

jj was curled under the covers and elle quickly got into her pjs. her girl needed her, her evening tasks could wait.

“come here little one,” elle mumbled, opening her arms. jj shuffled over, resting her head on elle’s chest. elle held the bottle for her and jj held it with one hand whilst elle began reading her book.

elle didn’t know what was wrong, she didn’t need to know really. she just had to make sure that her girl knew she was there no matter what. elle ran her fingers through jj’s hair and kissed her head as she slept softly in her hold. she loved her little one endlessly and she would never stop.

Chapter Text

jj swung happily back and forth. it was early morning and elle had brought her to the park to burn off some energy. however, they had to get going it was going to rain and they’d already been there 2 hours.

“right,” elle said, standing in front of her girl. “ready to go?”

jj shook her head and swung her legs happily - both hands gripping with the swing chains.

“no? we gotta head home soon. it’s going to rain!”

“it just rain,” jj giggled, leaning back.

“that’ll give you a cold. come on munchkin, we can come back in a few days.”

“maaaa,” jj whined. she really didn’t want to go.

“jayyyy,” elle mocked, causing jj to frown. she crossed her arms and glared at all elle. elle sighed and crouched down in front of her.

“okay. how about if we leave now, we get icecream on the way home.”

jj thought for a moment then shook her head.

“i’ll get you two scoops,” elle suggested.

jj thought again, “three scoops.”

“two.”

“three.”

“two and a half.”

jj hummed and shook her head, “three.”

“fine three. come on,” elle laughed and stood up.

“yay!” jj cheered loudly, jumping from the swing.

as they walked away from the park, hand in hand, jj babbled on and on to elle about all the flavours she wanted.

“you’re only getting three scoops baby, not the whole shop!” elle laughed, stopping to wait for the green man.

jj giggled and looked up at elle, “i know maaaaa but i can think bout them.”

“you’re so silly,” elle chuckled and pulled her girl across the road. jj skipped happily next to her.

however, they reached the icecream shop and elle’s heart dropped. jj stopped skipping and her hand dropped from elle’s.

“ma,” she muttered sadly, pointing at the ‘closed down’ sign across the shop window and the door.

“hey, it’s okay,” elle said quickly, wrapping an arm around jj’s shoulder.

“it not!” jj practically shouted, getting worked up.

“we can get icecream from home. we can even go to the big shop and get the flavours you want,” elle suggested but jj shook her head and stomped her foot.

“i wanted this !!” she cried. her head flew back and she dropped to the floor - full blown tantrum.

“oh jay.” elle sighed. she knew jj was tired. she hadn’t slept well. all the sweet girl wanted was her icecream. she knew, as an adult, she was disappointed missing out on it- she couldn’t imagine the upset regressed jj was feeling.

she bent down beside her crying girl and put some hair behind her ear. “i know you’re feeling so let down right now baby,” she began. “but if we can dry these tears and get home, we can have a nap and we’ll order special icecream.”

“no wanna nap,” jj whimpered, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

“no nap? i think you’re tired.”

“i not. i wan icecream,” jj cried, throwing her head back again and wailing.

“okay okay,” elle sighed.

elle knew there was no way she was getting jj another mile home so she rang for hotch. she quickly explained the situation and hotch set off to pick up his baby girl.

“dada is on his way,” elle said softly, sitting on the floor beside jj.

“dada?” jj sniffed.

“yeah. he’s going to come pick us up so we get home quicker. that okay?”

“dada has icecream?”

elle smiled and her sweetness, “i’m sure dada can get you some icecream princess.”

hotch pulled up about five minutes later and elle helped jj into the car. she did her seatbelt and then hooked the car blanket around her legs.

“get some rest baby,” she said softly and shut the door. she walked around and got into the passenger seat.

“has my baby had a good morning?” hotch asked.

jj shook her head from the back. “icecream all gone dada.”

“we’ll get you some baby don’t worry. ma said you went to the park?”

“mhms,” jj nodded from the back. “we swung on swings and goes down slide.” jj mumbled.

“sounds fun. nap time when we get home?” hotch suggested but jj whined and kicked her legs.

“no napppp!” hotch and elle laughed knowing that as soon as she was home and on the couch with cartoons, she’ll be fast asleep.

and of course, they were right. it didn’t even take jj a full episode of bluey before her little snores filled the living room. insisting she wasn’t tired, she sat in front of the tv on the rug but of course ended up curled up in a ball on the rug.

“do we move her or leave her?” elle asked, sitting on the sofa.

“how about you put a film on and i’ll give her to you? you get baby cuddles and a good movie then,” hotch suggested.

“good idea. what are you doing?” elle got herself comfy on the sofa with a blanket and her feet up.

“i’m going to buy icecream so we can make sundaes when she’s up,” he smiled. he picked her up carefully from the floor and then put her into elle’s arms. instantly, she cuddles into her, curling into her chest.

Chapter Text

It was an immediate reaction. JJ emerged from the bathroom and saw Spencer perched on the side of Elle’s desk. Without thinking, she charged over and pushed him off.

“Jay!” Elle shouted, attracting the attention of everyone around.

Spencer lay on the floor. His head smacked the ground, blood poured from the wound.

“Spencer,” Derek gasped, falling to his friend's side. JJ was so angry. So, so angry. She went for Spencer again but Elle held her back. She grabbed her around the chest, pinning her arms to the side and pulled her far away -to her office.

“What on Earth was that about?” Elle asked, infuriated. But JJ felt smaller then. She’d made her Ma mad. Her Ma !! Out of anyone in the world, JJ hated making Elle mad. Instead of explaining herself, she turned herself to the corner and stayed silent - thinking about all the times Spencer took a step too far with her caregiver recently.

First, was the hug. It was a simple hug from everyone else's perspective but to JJ, Spencer held on too tight for too long.

It had been a long day at work and the case was difficult. JJ was waiting at the car, ready to go home with Elle but Spencer came up behind Elle and tapped her on the shoulder. She couldn’t see Spencer’s face, but she could see her Ma’s. Laughing, giggling, smiling - she even gave him the same sympathetic eyes she gave her. She didn’t want to look but when Spencer wrapped his arms around Elle and Elle wrapped her arms around Spencer, she couldn’t take her eyes off them. It was a tight hug. Elle’s eyes were closed and her lips were in a small, soft smile. A comfortable smile. JJ felt the anger boil in her stomach before climbing grumpily into the car. She made sure to slam the door and huff whilst putting her seatbelt on and then wait for her Ma.

The next time was the present. Well, the donuts - and the coffee, specifically for Elle.

“Hey guys, I brought breakfast,” Spencer announced, coming into the bullpen.

“Donuts!” JJ cheered, heading towards the now-open box of doughnuts. JJ examined the sweet treats, all decorated and reached her hand into the simple sugar one but Spencer stopped her.

“That one is Elle’s,” he smiled. Just as she came up behind them. JJ felt the gentle hand on the bottom of her back and scowled up at Spencer.

“Elle’s? I didn’t know we had specifics,” JJ frowned.

“Oh, we don’t. I just got Elle her favourite,, I know how much she loves the simple sugar ones,” Spencer explained, smiling at Elle- chuffed with himself.

“That’s so sweet Spence, thank you!” Elle smiled widely.

“Oh,” JJ mumbled. She put the sugar doughnut back down. “Which one is mine?” JJ asked.

“Whichever you want,” Spencer replied. “Coffee Elle?”

JJ shut the doughnut box and stropped off back to her seat. Too infested in her coffee, Elle didn’t even notice her girl go without breakfast or the grumpy expression she held at her desk.

Then, there was the surprise visit to their house.

“JJ, come sit down now. It’s starting,” Elle shouted through their house.

“Coming Ma!” JJ chirped, jumping up from her toys and rushing over to get cosy next to her Ma on the sofa. It was movie night. JJ’s favourite night of the week. She was allowed to stay up late, have loads of sweets and fizzy drinks and ENDLESS cuddles. Plus, she got to pick the movie.

“Ma, catch,” Jay giggled, throwing up a piece of popcorn into the air. Like the master she is, Elle caught it in her mouth and the pair high-fived.

“You so mazing Ma,” JJ mumbled, wrapping her arms around Elle and hugging her tight. Elle smiled widely. She loved JJ, more than anything or anyone in the entire world.

“You’re amazing too little one.” Just then, there was a swift knock at the door. JJ frowned as Elle sat up, reaching for the remote. She paused it and there was another knock.

“Who it?” JJ asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Stay here, I’ll go find out,” Elle instructed as she disappeared down the stairs.

A few moments later, Elle returned with Spencer following her. JJ’s mood instantly dropped. This was HER night with HER Ma. Not Spencer’s.

“What is he doing here?” She huffed.

“Be nice missy. He’s come to show us this new film he found,” Elle said gently, taking a seat on the coffee table to put the CD in the player.

“But, Ma! We watching mermaids!” JJ cried, heading over.

“It’s okay, we can finish mermaids another time. Spencer is really excited about this. And he came all this way,” Elle said softly.

“It’s an old Russian classic that has been recently translated into English for the first time- obviously I understand the Russian but now you guys can understand it, I thought I’d show you. It’s about a young boy…” Spencer rambled on about the movie and JJ sat there, in the corner of the couch, slouching and pouting.

“Budge over,” Elle said once the movie began playing. She sat on the other side of the couch so Spencer was in the middle, JJ couldn’t even cuddle up with Elle now.

“Popcorn?” Elle offered and Spencer threw it into his mouth, causing a cheer from Elle and a high-five between the two of them. JJ sighed, snuggling into her blanket. Her movie night was obviously over. By the time the movie had ended, it was way past the last bus and Spencer didn’t drive. Now he had to stay the night. JJ’s entire nighttime routine was ruined thanks to Spencer.

The next morning, they headed to work together. Spencer took the front seat, JJ’s favourite seat. He stood between them in the elevator. They didn’t have time for Elle to get JJ dressed, do her hair, or make her breakfast or her bottle. Everything was ruined and wrong. They couldn’t do their cuddle and kiss at the door, in the elevator - JJ hadn’t hugged her Ma all morning.

Emerging from the bathroom and seeing Spencer with her Ma again, taking the space she wanted to be. Taking away her Ma, just - it was too much.

“Jennifer, what you just did was completely unacceptable,” Elle said. She grabbed JJ’s arm and turned her around so the smaller girl was facing her. However, the blue, teary eyes looking up at Elle broke her. She sighed and wrapped her arms around JJ, her caregiver instincts kicking in.

JJ was good as gold. She didn’t step out of line. This behaviour, as horrible as it was, as much as it needed to be punished - was a cry for help.

Finally, in her caregiver's arms, JJ broke down. Elle carried her from the corner and set her on her lap in the armchair. She rocked her girl, back and forth and reassured her gently.

“What’s going on princess?”

“He take you away,” JJ cried heavily.

“Spencer?”

“He takes you all time!” the smaller girl sobbed.

“No one is taking me away from you. No matter how close we are, I’ll always be YOUR Ma,” Elle reassured softly. JJ cried into Elle’s chest, clinging to her top and explained all the times that Spencer had ruined her days recently.

“I understand you’re jealous sweetheart but you have to communicate these things with me. Big girl words and nice hands are what are needed. You know this.”

“But Ma, he jus alway there,” JJ argued.

“I understnad. But you can always ask to speak to me privately. I’ll always, always make time for you if you come up to me, hold my hand, cuddle me - any of it. I never push you away, even if Spencer is there,” I can give you both attention and love at the same time.”

“You’re MY Ma, no his,” JJ confirmed.

“Not his. Yours. I know baby girl,” Elle chuckled, holding her girl tighter. She hoped that once JJ had apologised to Spencer, they could move on. She’ll make sure her girls feel included, and less pushed out by Spencer. However, she also knew she couldn’t give in to the behaviour all the time.

JJ huffed and crashed back against Elle’s chest.

“I love you baby,” Elle whispered, kissing her girls head.

Chapter Text

“have you seen jay?” elle asked, coming into the bull pen.

“erm. not recently? why?” derek replied. elle frowned.

“we were meeting for lunch 15 minutes ago. she’s not there?” elle was growing more and more confused. she’d checked all the usual spots jj was usually in - her office, garcia’s office, hotch’s office. everywhere.

“have you checked with garcia?” spencer suggested.

“yeah, she’s not seen her either,” elle said. then it dawned on her. jj’s secret hiding spot was a cubby in her office.

elle let the team know and headed there. the door was shut which was unusual so elle snuck in, knowing her girl would be in here.

“jj,” she whispered, being cautious. she heard the little sob and instantly frowned. she’d missed it before.

“princess,” elle frowned and dropped by the side of the cubby. she opened the door and saw her sweet girl sobbing heavily into her knees.

“oh my baby girl, what’s happened?” instantly elle felt awful. she had no idea how long she’d been like this.

“i didn’t mean to,” she sobbed, choking on her breath.

“okay, it’s okay,” elle reached in and grabbed her hands but jj refused to move.

“princess, what’s happened?” jj shook her head more, crying into her knees. “baby i can’t help if you don’t tell me. is it a case? is someone mad at you?”

“no, ma,” she wailed.

elle felt awful, seeing her small girl like this. at that, hotch appeared at the door.

“what’s going on?” he asked, coming in and closing the door.

“go away,” jj sobbed, trying to shut her cubby door

“i have no idea.” elle shrugged. she turned her attention back to jj.

“ma,” she cried, reaching out for elle.

“come here,” elle whispered, grabbing the youngest girl and pulling her into her lap, that’s when she noticed. jj’s legs and bottom were soaking wet.

“oh princess,” she sighed. accidents had becoming more and more common recently and it was starting to worry elle, especially since this was jj’s reaction every time. hotch noticed it too and silently slid out the room to get a change of clothes.

“it’s okay,” elle muttered, holding jj close to her chest. “it’s okay baby girl, these things happen.”

“i bad!” she sobbed into elles chest.

“no baby, not bad. it’s just an accident.” she cried harder only for elle to comfort her more. she knew then it was time to go home.

hotch came back with jj’s go bag. elle got to quick work making sure jj was cleaned up best she could with her girl sobbing.

“jj please baby, take a deep breath,” elle encouraged, grabbing the girls shoulders. jj looked at elle through her fluttering, watery lashes.

“mama,” she whimpered, reaching to be held.

“i’m right here baby, right here. deep breaths for me.”

it took about five minutes to settle down. elle got her cleaned up before taking her home. she fell asleep in the car. elle took the longer route home, making sure her girl could have a good nap. she was going to take her home, run her a bath and put on bluey before a nice chill night.

Chapter Text

“where’s my peanut?” elle shouted. she stalked through the house, jj’s jumper in one hand and shoes in the other. she heard the familiar giggle from the behind the door and rolled her eyes.

“i think i smell her!”

jj gasped and elle shut the door quickly with her foot, trapping jj in the room with her.

“oh there she is!” elle gasped, seeing jj and pretending she had no idea she was there.

“cheater!” jj giggled, pointing at elle.

“i didn’t cheat now get here you stinker,” elle laughed. she dropped jj’s things and grabbed her girl around the waist as she tried to run off. jj screeched and kicked her legs.

“shoes and jumper, now,” elle laughed, tickling her.

“no maaaa!! no wannna go!” jj replied, giggling loudly from the tickles.

“you don’t want to go? you don’t want to go see aunty penny and uncle derek and jason and aaron?” elle gasped, letting her girl go from her grip. elle was sat in front of the door now so she knew jj couldn’t get out of the bedroom.

“no, ma we gotta stay here!” jj said, jumping up and down. elle was amazed with the amount of energy she had.

“but we have dinner plans missy,” elle said. she grabbed jj’s jumper and went to grab her hand. they were meant to have left 5 minutes ago.

“no maaaa!” jj whined and pulled off, she went to climb onto the bed and get under the covers but elle got there first.

“shoes please,” she said.

“no no no ma!” jj said again, pulling at the covers.

“never mind no!” elle teased, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her between her legs.

“nooo!” jj squealed, wiggling like a worm.

“why not? why do you not want to go see allllll your friends?”

“no ma ! no go ! no shoes ! no jumper !”

“okay little miss no,” elle sighed, sliding her own shoes off. “let’s have a race to see who can put their shoes on first!” she knew jj was just being difficult for the sake of it. she didn’t have a reason for not going.

“a race?” jj gasped, sitting up onto her knees.

“yeah! who can put their shoes on and get to the front door first!”

“what prize?” jj asked.

elle thought for a minute and then said, “a fort and a movie night!” jj gasped and instantly began putting her shoes on.

“i going to win!” she cheered. elle laughed and got her shoes back on too. just as she was sliding the last one on- jj shot up from the bed and ran downstairs to the front door.

“oh no! she’s going to win!” elle fake groaned to add to the dramatics. she grabbed jj’s jumper, her bag and phone before heading to the door with jj.

“ma you lose ! you lose!”

“first one to the car!” elle laughed as she opened the front door. jj gasped and ran to the car, getting inside instantly. elle knew it was too easy. sometimes jj just needed that extra encouragement.

they arrived at gideon’s twenty minutes late due to traffic but they knew the team wouldn’t mind. she turned in her seat to see a happy jj wiggling her legs ready to get out.

“i want best behaviour baby,” elle said softly.

“yes ma.”

“i’m serious,” elle laughed. jj had answered far too quick. she got out and opened jj’s door but stood in the way so she couldn’t get out straight away.

“no more of this ‘my favourite word is no’ no arguing or cheeky back talk please. it’s going to be a nice dinner and you have to listen to the adults - got it?” elle said, sternly.

“yes ma,” jj whined, pouting. elle smiled and kissed her cheek and helped her from the car. jj ran up to the door and rang the bell as elle walked up behind her.

the team had had a great time so far, playing games and drinking. dinner was served and they were all sitting around the table like a proper family. elle noticed jj picking at her plate though and got worried. she’d had a great day, all day - she didn’t want food to trigger her now.

“you okay?” elle asked, quietly so no one else could hear.

“yucky,” jj mumbled back. elle laughed a little and wrapped her arm around jj.

“you haven’t even tried it yet,” elle said again. jj huffed. elle picked up the fork from jj’s hand and stabbed some of the potatoes. she brought it to jj’s mouth. jj shook her head.

“come on, just a bite baby,” but jj didn’t like that. instantly, she pushed elle away, the plate away and her chair away. she ran from the room and they heard a door slam. elle was in too much shock to react.

“what was that about?” derek asked - shocked too.

“i erm- i have no idea,” elle shook her head, dumbfounded and followed after jj quickly.

it wasn’t hard to find her. she was curled up on the back step, huffing and picking at the grass by her feet. elle sat down silently next to her and jj didn’t react, too ashamed.

“do you want to talk about it?” elle asked after a few moments.

“no like that food,” jj mumbled, pulling at the grass harder.

“you didn’t even try it baby,” elle sighed.

“no care. smells and looks yucky.”

elle sighed, “okay. how about you come back inside and we get you something else to eat?”

“no hungry. no want to come in,” the little huffed.

“okay. well you’re going to stay out here for the rest of the night?” elle asked. jj nodded and elle sighed.

“why do you not want to come in?”

“no want to.”

“why love? what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” elle knew something else was going on. she moved closer to jj and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

“jus feel silly,” the younger girl sighed. “no eat and everyone see me.”

“they don’t care angel, they know you struggle.”

“no, not fair,” jj huffed and hid in elle. elle wondered then, if that was her reason for her protests about leaving. deep down, somewhere in jj’s head, she was scared this was going to happen. alright jj has reassured elle she’d eat - that she liked what gideon was making.

“okay,” elle said gently. she had to respect jj’s feelings and right now, she knew her girl was going to seriously struggle being back around them all. “let’s go grab your things and we can go home. okay?”

jj looked up at elle hopefully. elle nodded and stood up, holding out her hand.

the pair got home an hour later, after grabbing mcdonald’s on the way home and jj was ready for bed. her sleepy eyes and walk made it obvious to elle that it was bed time.

“come on then, up the stairs peanut,” elle said, dragging jj through the house.

“sleepy ma,” jj mumbled, sitting on the bottom step.

“i know baby, that’s why we gotta get you to bed!” elle laughed a little. she bent down in front of her little and began taking off her shoes. jj groaned and leaned back on the stairs.

“come on stinky!” elle said. she held out her hands and assisted jj up to her bed. elle made quick work on getting her changed into her nighttime clothes and getting her tucked in.

“ma stay with me,” jj whimpered, rubbing her eyes sleepily and yawning.

“ma has to shower and get ready for bed but then i’ll come and sneak in with you okay,” elle suggested, running her hands through jj’s hair.

“okay,” jj mumbled, already half asleep.

“goodnight peanut, ma loves you,” she kissed her little one’s head and snuck out of the bedroom to the bathroom - ready for a much needed relaxing evening.

Chapter Text

It was around 5am when JJ woke up. She stretched in her bed and felt the cold autumn air on her feet. She giggled at the feeling before throwing off her duvet. It had been a long night and she felt refreshed and ready for the day. Too far in her headspace to even contemplate the time, she headed to the bathroom for her morning wee. Tucked under her arm was her new fvourite teddy - a present from Elle for being such a good girl recently. She managed to get 5 stars on her reward chart this week and complete all of her tasks 4 days in a row.

Forgetting to flush the toilet and wash her hands, JJ left the bathroom and waddled down the hall to her caregivers bedroom. Some nights, she and Elle slept in the same bed as girlfriends, when JJ was in her normal headspace but Jay liked having her own space and bed when small. Her small bed was full of teddies and blankets and fairy lights but Elle didn’t like sleeping with too much on her bed or any lights on so it worked well between the pair.

It was still dark outside but with the autumn creeping in and late mornings, JJ didn’t register that it might still be early. Instead, she jumped onto the empty side of the bed and leaned over Elle.

“Ma,” she mumbled, still not fully awake. “It mornin.” She poked Elle’s cheek and tried to lift up her eyelid but Elle groaned and rolled onto her side. JJ giggled as she was forced off her caregiver.

“Is that you peanut?” Elle asked groggily, barely opening her eyes.

“Ye Ma,” JJ yawned. “It mornin- got getss up.” Elle sighed and sat up a little. She saw how dark it was outside and knew it was not time to get up. Quickly checking her phone, she saw it was only ten past five and huffed before lying back down.

“Baby, it’s still too early,” she explained softly to a sleepy looking little.

“It not, I wake. It mornin now,” JJ whispered, shaking her head and holding back another yawn.

“No peanut. Come lie down with Ma,” elle sighed. She lifted up the covers and shivered at the cold. The heating hadn’t come on yet, making Elle even more sure it wasn’t time to get up. JJ whined and shook her head softly. Elle sighed and gave her a soft look.

“Sweetie it’s still early. I know you’re still sleepy, your eyes are tired. Come lie down, we can cuddle.”

JJ sighed and raised to her knees, “but Ma it halloween.”

“It is angel yeah, we can do things later for halloween but right now Ma needs some more sleep and so does her baby.” She sat up more and grabbed JJ’s waist before laying back down with her in her arms. JJ giggled as Elle manourved them both so they were covered up. Elle smiled and wrapped her arms around her girl tightly and instinctively, JJ cuddled in close to her caregiver.

“Now sleep peanut - you’ve got to be nice and energised for our fun later.”

The pair were up around 10. Elle felt a lot better after some more sleep and JJ looked better. Elle made breakfast, spooky ghost pancakes, and put on the TV for her girl. JJ sat in front of it, watching the halloween cartoon episodes and getting herself excited for the day. Elle had loads planned for her little one and was excited to start the day too.

“Pancakes are ready baby!” She shouted through the house. JJ got up from the floor and ran through to the kitchen. She practically jumped into her seat and Elle gave her a gentle glare, JJ looked down - she wasn’t allowed to run in the house.

“You know what I’m going to say,” Elle said softly. “No more okay? I know you’re excited but safety comes first.”

“Sorry Ma,” JJ muttered gently and Elle kissed her head and put the plate in front of her.

“Eat up now, then we can go get you ready!”

JJ was dressing up as a witch. She had a pink and black dress on with a witches hat, fingerless gloves and stripy tights.

“Don’t you look creepy,” Elle giggled at her little one as she wiggled her fingers.

“I so creepy Ma. I Evil witch,” JJ laughed, twirling and showing off her shoes.

“Evil? Oh no! Please don’t hurt me,” Elle faked pretending to be scared, putting her hands up in defence. JJ laughed loudly and shook her head. She moved closer to her caregiver who was sat on the bed and climbed into her lap. Elle smiled, holding JJ’s waist to make sure she was supported.

“I not gonna be evil to you ma,” JJ mumbled, completely wrapping herself around Elle.

“Oh? Why not? I thought you were evil,” Elle smiled at her sweet girl.

“Not to you because I oves you,” JJ smiled and snuggled into her caregiver. Elle smiled widely and held JJ closer to her - her little witch.

“I love you too baby.”

First stop of the day was JJ’s playgroup. They had a little halloween party planned for all the littles. Jay was excited but nervous.

“Ma,” she mumbled from the back of the car.

“Yes peanut?”

“Wha if none of de ittes like my costume or too cared of me?”

“They won’t be angel! You look cute!”

“No Ma I mean be scary!” JJ whined, flopping her head back.

“You’re meant to be a scary evil witch but you’re worried people will thinkk you’re too scary?” Elle chuckled at the little logic. JJ let out a meak nod.

“It’s okay sweetheart. I’m sure everyone will love your costume!” Elle smiled, trying to reassure her.

“Pomise?”

“I promise baby! It’s halloween, everyone will be dressed up.”

The party went well. JJ was nervous at first, clinging to Elle. She stayed holding her hand whilst they did drinks and snacks but Elle managed to encourage her to play the games on her own. Next stop was the store to pick up snacks for the work party.

“Ma you so silly, we gonna be late,” JJ whined as she was dragged around the shop.

“I know, I know. I was meant to get the snacks yesterday but I was busy,” Elle sighed, putting things into the cart aimlessly.

“Busy doin what? You at home allll day,” JJ laughed, knowing Elle was lying.

“Shush you, don’t be telling work that. I was busy looking after you anyway,” Elle smirked and poked JJ in the ribs.

“I no hard ook after, we could come shops!!”

“You go back to yesterday and think about us possibly going to the shops Jay. From what I can remember you were running around the house with no clothes on pretending to be a ghost that no one could see-”

JJ blushed and hid in Elle’s neck at that one. “No tell eveone.”

“Don’t tell everyone we’re late because I’m lazy then monkey!” They got to the checkouts and Elle put everything on the conveyor belt. JJ had snuck multiple things into the cart whilst they were going round the store - lots of sweets, donuts and even a new teddy and Elle saw them now.

“Jennifer,” she sighed and held it up.

“We no have time to put it back!” JJ said, quickly putting it on the til. Elle laughed and shook her head at the pure cheekiness but genius.

“Okay, best behviour. If you get too overwhelmed you have to tell me before it gets too much okay?” Elle said softly in the elevator up to the bullpen.

“Otay ma,” JJ said gently, wiggling her fingers. “I scary witch and I gon turn spencee into fog.”

“You do that peanut,” Elle laughed.

“You made it! I thought you weren’t coming,” Garcia said as they entered the bullpen. She was in some crazy superhero costume and JJ jumped up into her arms.

“We late cus Ma for-”

“We got stuck in traffic,” Elle interrupted, glaring at JJ. JJ giggled and covered her mouth.

Garcia laughed and turned to JJ and asked, “did she forget the snacks?” JJ laughed and nodded and put a finger to her lips.

Elle handed the bag of snacks to Garcia who began putting them out on the tables and Spencer came over to the pair. He was dressed as Frankenstein and a mask sat on his arm.

“Hi JJ! Are you a witch?” He asked the little one.

“Boil Boil toil trouble! Turn Spencer Frog!” JJ cheered, throwing her arms about and wiggling her fingers. Elle laughed and watched Spencer’s confused face.

“You have to ribbit,” Elle muttered to him, Spencer nodded and made a small, ribbit noise. JJ huffed and crossed her arms, not impressed. Hotch then came out of his top office, in his suit - not a costume in sight. Excited, JJ ran over to him.

“Oh theres my little witch!” Hotch laughed and gave her a side hug on the stairs.

“Your costume rubbish,” JJ huffed, looking him up and down. Elle laughed and nodded, agreeing with her little.

“What do you mean! I think I look like a very good FBI agent in this costume,” Hotch smirked. JJ groaned and threw up her arms.

“You cant be an agenttttt, thats your job!”

“Who said I cant be an agent, huh? The halloween police?” Hotch smirked, looking down slightly at JJ. He adored regressed JJ.

“Yeah, they did,” JJ sassed, crossing her arms.

“Well it’s a good job they aren’t here to arrest me, isn’t it?” Hotch laughed. JJ groaned and tugged at his arm. He laughed and hugged his girl properly.

Derek quickly came up behind Elle in a creepy halloween mask and jumped on her back. Elle screamed, jumping away before hitting him. JJ burst out laughing and pointed at her caregiver, scared of Derek.

“Oh be quiet you,” Elle teased. Derek was laughing too.

“God - you’re face was priceless Greenaway.”

“Shut up Morgan - what is your costume anyway?” Elle asked, looking him up and down.

“I am the famous, the magnificent, the incredible, Derek Morgan-” Derek said, taking a bow.

JJ groaned, turned around in Hotch’s arms. “You all terrible at costumes-”

“Oh yeah? What are you meant to be pretty girl?” Derek smirked, nodding at JJ.

“I a scary witch! Duh!” JJ sassed and everyone laughed.

“Sooooo scary,” Derek teased. JJ pouted but Spencer went up to derek, leaned in his ear and did a big, loud, very realistic frog noise. JJ creased over in happiness. She was the best witch.

Gideon’s costume was a wolf. He immerged from his office, head to toe in a fur outfit. JJ gasped, seeing it and runs up the stairs and down the hall.

“You a wolf!” She cheered at Gideon. Gideon bared his teeth quickly and raised his paws to the girl.

“All the better to eat you with!” He groaned. JJ squealed before running away back down the stairs, laughing.

The party was fun. They had music, made jokes and ate lots of food but Elle could tell all the socialising and the business of the day was getting to her girl. She hadn’t had her usual nap and Elle knew a sugar crash was on it’s way. However, JJ’s sugar crashes and tiredness meant mood swings, anger and tantrums. She was sat next to Hotch on the table next to his chair and they watched her together. She was spinning in her own chair, head up at the ceiling. Spencer was talking to her but she was hardly listening.

“I think it’s nearly home time,” Hotch whispered to Elle.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Elle agreed. JJ stopped her chair and looked at Spencer. She did her ‘spell’ again for the fifth time that night and Spencer’s shoulders dropped.

“No JJ, I don’t want to be a frog anymore. I’m telling you and Derek about Frankenstien,” he said. JJ huffed, stomped and crossed her arms.

“I a witch an I make you a frog! No wanna hear your silly words-” Elle took that as her cue to get up. Before Spencer could say anything else and cause an argument, Elle crouched down in front of her little one.

“Are you ready to go home and have a bath?”

“No I a witch an Spencer a bad frog!”

“He just doesn’t want to keep being a frog when he’s trying to talk to his friends.” Elle explained.

“No Ma!” JJ shouted. Elle put her hand up and JJ lowered her head. She knows she isn’t allowed to shout.

“Home time now, come on.” Elle said simply she stood up and Hotch handed her JJ’s jacket.

“Do we have to?” JJ whined, looking up at her caregiver with teary eyes.

“Yep. You’re tired, you’ve had way too much sugar and you shouted at Ma and you know that isn’t allowed. Jacket on please,” Elle held out the jacket and JJ slid her arms in sadly. Elle wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“Say goodbye to everyone and we’ll go to the toilet before we go,” Elle said. JJ waved sadly at everyone and they all waved back.

“Bye Baby!” Garcia cheered and ran over to give her a cuddle and a kiss. “My super spooky witch, I loved seeing you today!” she whispered.

“I like see you too,” JJ replied sadly.

“Hey, turn that frown upside down. I’ll see you soon. Sleep well my little love.”

Elle swung their arms as they headed out the building to the car. JJ looked down with teary, tired eyes. As Elle opened the passenger door for her girl, JJ wrapped her arms tightly around Elle’s waist.

“Whoa princess, be careful,” Elle whispered but hugged her back.

“I sorry I shouted!” JJ began to sob. Elle felt awful.

“Hey peanut,” Elle whispered, shocked from the sudden outburst of tears. She knew JJ really was tired then. “It’s okay. Thank you for saying sorry but theres no need for all these tears.” She sat JJ on the seat of the car before leaning down in front of her. “Come on now baby, it’s okay.”

“I shouted and you mad,” JJ cried, rubbing hard at her eyes.

“I’m not mad. Do I look mad? I’m sorry you think that angel but I promise I’m not.”

“You make me go home,” JJ sobbed all over again.

“Darling you are so so tired. It’s been a long day and the party is over now anyway. You need to sleep.”

“I not tired,” JJ shook her head.

“You are baby girl. Ma is tired too. Let’s go home and we can sleep - okay?”

“Bath first?”

“Bath first with your spooky bathbomb yes.”

JJ was asleep five minutes into the ten minute drive. Elle tried to keep her awake but it was difficult whilst focusing on the wet roads in the dark. She carried JJ into the house and got her onto the sofa as she began to get her undressed.

“Bath morrow ma,” JJ yawned, still with her eyes closed.

“Good idea baby,” Elle smiled.

They settled down into Elle’s bed after JJ clung to her, still sad from her day. Elle was exhausted so fell asleep pretty fast with her girl curled up in her arms. It had been a great halloween.

Chapter Text

it had been a rough day. both girls started off quite small, jj smaller than penelope with her cute pull up on and nightshirt waddled into emily’s room this morning for nursing and cuddles and penelope trudged in with as many teddies as she could carry not long after. it was a slow morning for the girls, a nice one. they made pancakes, with their matching aprons from uncle rossi tied around their waists. then they went for a walk around the nearby lake which was needed to get their energy out and then it was nap time but they were all awoken by a rude intruder. jj’s mum.

the knock on the door was hard and sudden and woke up jj instantly. penelope stayed asleep. jj sat up and rubbed her eyes, she’d fallen asleep in emily’s bed but there was no emily, only her little sister and all her stuffies. she felt herself older but not by much. she stretched and slid out from under the covers before heading to the stairs to try get a sneak peak at who had knocked. she could hear her mama talking.

“you can’t be here right now,” emily said to the stranger at the door.

“she’s my daughter, i can’t pay her a visit?”

“not without permission. you know this sandy-“

sandy? it was jj’s mum. her throat went tight and she felt herself instantly going to that headspace she hated. she wanted to be sick. she needed to be sick. she hadn’t seen her mom in 3 years, ever since the restraining order had been put into place.

“sandy i can call the police.”

“oh please, just let me see my daughter.”

“no can do.”

“emily.”

“sandy.”

“fine. i’ll go but i’ll be back.”

and that’s what terrified jj. is her mother knew their new address, her mother very much could come back at any point.

“jj, is that you?” emily asked when she made sure sandy had left the premises. she turned to the girl curled up at the top of the stairs, sobbing into her knees.

“she found me,” she cried out. penelope then came out of the bedroom, smaller than before. she was confused why her sister was crying, who had found her?

“jj she won’t come back. i’m going to call the police and get this figured out.”

“no she will come back. she’s going to come get me, take me away!” jj sobbed.

“no jay, that won’t happen.”

“emily it will!” jj cried out! she got up from the stairs and charged to her bedroom .

“jay,” emily called out, heading after as quick as she could but was met with a door slamming in her face.

“jj otay?” penelope asked sadly, pulling at her caregivers shirt.

“oh pen,” emily sighed and turned around. she took the girl into her arms and held her tight and penelope hid her head in her neck. she hated seeing her sister hurt. so hurt.

that was hours ago and jj hadn’t left her room since and it worried emily. she was notorious for a lot of bad things when in this headspace and although her room had been checked for drugs and alcohol they hadn’t done a sharp objects sweep in a while and emily couldnt get it out of her head. derek was on his way over to look after penelope but pen wouldn’t leave the house without knowing her sister was okay.

emily had made penelope a snack to keep her occupied and decided to bed upstairs.

that was how we got to the current predicament. emily knocked softly and opened the door. jj was lying on the bed with her headphones on, curled up against the wall, in her safest place. having a bed in the corner made everything safer.

“how you feeling kiddo?” emily asked and jj glared at her; she hated nicknames.

“jay,” emily sighed and jutted out her hip.

“don’t want to talk. leave me alone.”

“jj, i have to make sure you’re safe can you at least come downstairs?”

“no.”

“jj, i can’t keep an eye on you up here.”

“you don’t need to, fuck off.”

at that, penelope appeared behind her caregiver and jj let out a mighty groan. penny whimpered and emily reached out to hold the younger girls hand.

“emily, just get out!! both of you! out!” jj screamed and threw the pillow at the door where her two bestest friends stood.

“jj, i know you’re upset but-“

“are your deaf? fuck off emily!” another pillow was thrown in emily’s direction. penelope whimpered from behind her caregiver.

“both of you,” jj added, more quieter and emily sighed. she turned around and put a hand on penelope’s shoulder.

“come on love, let’s give jj her space,” she said. penelope looked at emily, pleading her to stay and help her big sister who was so clearly in a lot of emotional pain but emily shook her head. jj was in no way able to communicate right now, not effectively at least. they had to give her space.

not an hour later, derek arrived but even two caregivers weren’t enough to keep an eye on the sneaky penelope. while derek went to the toilet and emily prepared dinner, pen gathered up as many stuffies as she could, two colouring books and her pencil case before scurrying up the stairs to her sisters room. she didn’t both knocking.

jj sat there with a scowl on her face as she took in the sight of penelope. pen shut the door with her foot and came further into the room. she dropped the things at the foot of the bed and jj moved her knees closer to her chest. she didn’t want to colour but she couldn’t turn down penelope.

“i came with some things to make you feel better,” penelope said in her sweet little voice.

“don’t want it,” jj grumbled and turned away.

“jj, no be grumpy,” penelope said and climbed onto the bed, she crawled beside her sister.

“leave me lone,” jj whispered and turned more toward the wall.

“no.” penelope said stubbornly. she crossed her arms and legs and faced jj. jj whimpered. “i not leaving.”

“why? i’m no good anyway.” jj sighed.

“cus you need a friend an i your best one,” penelope said. she reached over and grabbed jj’s favourite stuffie her teddy bear which looked just like your traditional teddy bear. it was jj’s favourite toy of all time.

“this you next best one,” penelope said and handed it over. jj whimpered.

“don’t want that pen.”

“take it, for cuddles.”

“don’t want to,” jj whimpered louder.

“it make you feel good.”

“no!” jj shouted suddenly. she desperately wanted to cuddle it but she felt so embarrassed in this headspace. she wanted to colour but she couldn’t. she wanted to cuddle with pen but couldn’t. she wanted to do it all and be nice to her little sister who was only trying to help but couldn’t. she felt useless and stupid. penelope sighed and crossed her arms on a huff and the door opened again. it was emily and derek.

“what’s going on here?” emily asked in her strong voice.

“nothing,” penelope said, glaring at jj.

“penelope, jj?” derek asked, looking between them.

“nothing, she said,” jj sassed. she climbed off the bed in a huff, knocking the colouring books and most of the stuffies off the bed in the process. she stormed to the bathroom but emily grabbed her wrist before she could.

“let go; need a wee.” jj whimpered and pulled at her arm.

“jj,” emily warned.

“just a wee for gods sake!” jj screamed and ripped her hand away, she went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her. emily sighed and turned to penelope.

“what did i tell you about giving her space young lady?”

“mama i jus wanted to see her. be there for her!” penelope replied.

“but i gave you specific instructions to leave her alone.”

“she need friends.”

“she needs alone time.”

“i don’t always need to be alone,” jj said from the bathroom door. she shook her hands dry and walked through the room.

“jj you told me to fuck off.”

“that was earlier. pen can stay. you and derek can leave,” jj explained. she got herself comfy on the bed again, hiding in the corner and emily looked at her sadly but didn’t argue.

“dinner will be ready in 20.”

the caregivers left and jj sighed. she watched as penelope piled her teddies back onto the bed.

“sorry,” jj muttered.

“no need be. they all fall all the time, they clumsy.”

jj couldn’t help but let out a crack of a smile.

“clumsy huh?”

“yeah they always fall off my bed too,” penelope explained. “it’s just cus they’re stuffed.”

“oh yeah; stuffing does that,” jj teased. penelope nodded and smiled and sat back in her spot.

“you wan cuddle?” penelope asked and opened her arms. she tapped her lap and jj sighed. she did want a cuddle, not a proper one though- that was embarrassing. instead, she laid her head down on penelope’s lap and let the younger girl run her fingers through her hair.

“i know your mum is scary,” penelope said, almost coming out of her headspace now.

“pen you- you don’t have to,” jj said, going to sit up but penelope held her down.

“i’m here for you.”

“you can do both.”

“i know and i am. i know your mum is scary but you don’t need to act so hostile towards us all okay?”

jj sighed, she hated how she treated everyone. “i know i just get so angry.”

“i know but mama always says to take deep breaths when we’re angry.”

jj whimpered. penelope was right. “i’m sorry i got so angry at you penny, you don’t deserve that.”

“it okay sis. i understand,” she whispered, slipping again now.

“i love you penny,” jj sighed. she never said things like that in her headspace and penelope knew that. she smiled wide.

“i love you.”

not long after, emily entered again.

“dinners ready downstairs, come on you two,” she said, smiling softly at the cuddles they were having, jj was half asleep on penelope’s knee. penelope slid out from under jj and headed off downstairs and emily waited patiently for jj to move. she did so, slowly. she rubbed her eyes and whimpered, looking up at her caregiver sadly.

“you okay?” emily asked, knowing her girl was in fact not okay. and at the question, a flood of tears came. emily sighed sadly and walked over to her little one and sat beside her, jj curled herself up and emily pulled her into her side. jj tried to fight but emily was having none of it, she held her little one with a closeness of love and promise.

“mama’s here,” emily whispered and pulled jj’s cross her lap. jj clung to her caregiver.

“mama’s right here, you’re so so safe.”

“jj bad.”

“jj isn’t bad baby,” emily sighed and rubbed her girls back. “she’s so good but just hurting and that’s okay. it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to have big feelings.”

“was mean.”

“you was mean but i know you feel bad about it and i know you want to say sorry and i also know you’ve already said sorry to penelope. everything is going to be okay.”

“jj scared.”

“oh baby you don’t need to be scared. mama is going to keep you so so safe.”

“even from mum?”

“especially from her my little love. you’re safe with mama, okay?”

“otay,” jj whispered and cuddled into her caregivers neck, feeling smaller than she has all day.

“mamas got you,” emily whispered and held her girl tighter. “i’m right here.”

for the rest of the night, jj didn’t let go of her mama. wether it was holding her hand, being in her arms, sitting on her lap, it was all about being close to her mama. penelope was just the same. emily didn’t mind having two girls stuck to her hips, it just meant extra cuddles in bed that night. and that’s how they slept, all three of them cuddled under the millions of jj’s comfort blankets and hundreds of penelope’s teddy bears.

Chapter Text

it was a monday and jj was not feeling it. it had been a long weekend, playing with penny at rossi’s getting up to their mischief and mayhem but now she felt burnt out, tired and just not good in general. her head was spinning with thoughts, sounds, feelings, it was all so overwhelming. but she had to put on her brave face and face work.

“you ready to go love?” emily asked from the doorway as jj came trudging out the downstairs bathroom, she’d barely made it this time and that worried her. she felt so small and just … vulnerable.

“yeah,” she replied to her caregiver and they headed out the door together.

“so are you okay looking at the cases today? you brought your reading device? i know you had it out yesterday when you did work with uncle Aaron,” emily asked. jj nodded, she’d packed it, she had remembered- had she?

“you sure you’re okay pepper?” emily asked, moving her hand from her own lap to hold jj’s.

“i’m just tired,” jj replied; sending emily a soft smile. she was tired, that wasn’t a lie.

“okay well maybe if you do good work this morning you can have a lunch time nap hm?” emily suggested and jj nodded. that sounded nice. a nap.

“i love you jj,” emily whispered, looking over when the car stopped.

“i love you emmy,” jj replied.

half an hour later and jj was rustling through her bag, getting worked up because she had forgotten to pack her reading device. she cried out and let her bag fall to the floor in a huff. she’d have to go get her spare one from emily’s office which meant admitting she forgot it. she didn’t want to do that because that meant no sticker on her sticker chart for organisation but she was so close to beating penny last week , she wanted to beat her this week. why was none of this fair? she put her head in her hands and assessed the paper in front of her, all the letters were a mess without her device. she felt the anger build up inside her and she burst. she hit the files off her desk in a fury and let them collapse to the floor in a mess. she began to cry into her hands, frustrated and upset at everything. the sound of the papers falling went over and over in her head and she just wanted her mama.

“jj!” penelope cheered, entering the office enthusiastically. she’d missed her friend the night they weren’t together. however, she quickly paused. jj let out a mighty whine from the shout and penny quickly apologised.

“jj are you okay?” penelope asked, she hated seeing jj upset. jj didn’t respond, she rocked back and forth, curled in herself on the floor. her hands were covering her ears and she felt too overwhelmed for life. penelope assessed the room. something bad had happened and she needed to get auntie emily straight away.

“i’ll be back jj. i’ll get your mama,” she whispered and headed out, shutting the door as quietly as she could.

she headed, head down, straight through the bau desks, ignored her own caregiver and went into emily’s office.

thankfully, there was no one else in there.

“auntie emily,” penelope said, quietly still.

“hello, penelope, is everything okay?”

“jj needs you. something bad has happened.”

“something bad?” emily was already out of her seat and heading for the door. “an accident?”

“i don’t know. she was crying and curled up and holding her ears and the room was a mess and-“

“okay it’s okay penny. go find your dada, i’ve got jj handled.” emily said and headed straight out, rushing to jj’s office to check on her baby girl. sometimes she loved and hated that jj had her own office. it was so far from her own but she knew her girl would struggle in the bullpen with all the noises and the work load she had, she needed quiet.

“jj?” emily asked softly, she entered the office and shut the door quietly behind her. she could see the small girls foot behind the desk and got on the floor beside her. she’d had an accident in her upset, the room was a total mess, her bag and its contents were also all over the floor, some now wet from her little puddle and it broke emily’s heart to see her wet, snotty, teary face.

“okay baby,” emily sighed and took her hands from her ears gently. “we’re going to do some breathing together okay? calm down that little chest of yours.”

“not- little,” jj hiccuped.

“okay, okay that’s okay. we still need to calm you down love,” emily sighed. she was clearly pushing that side away, as she always did at work.

“we’re gonna go in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4 okay?”

jj let out a little nod and began breathing alongside her caregiver.

“good girl, two more,” emily said, she counted as they went through the technique.

“box.” jj said quietly.

“we can do the box breathing too. you ready?” emily asked and jj nodded again. she held her hand as they drew the box, inhaling up one side, holding along the top, exhaling down the other side and holding along the bottom. jj, herself, carried on the next one, inhaling, holding, exhaling and holding again before she felt calm enough.

“you did so so good, baby. now, can you tell me what happened?”

“forgot my device,” jj whispered, feeling ashamed. she wiped her eyes harshly and sniffled.

“your reading device?”

“mhm, left home.”

“okay but jj why didn’t you come and ask me for the one in my office?”

“shamed,” jj whimpered again, keeping her eyes down.

“you don’t have to be ashamed for forgetting something my love.”

“no ticker,” jj said.

“your right, no sticker but what’s one sticker in the place of the other 7 you could get?”

“beat penny.”

“jj, you did all of this mess because you wanted to beat penny on the sticker race?” emily sighed.

“stress mama!” jj whimpered and grabbed her hair suddenly, pulling at it.

“okay, okay,” emily said, grabbing her girls hands and pulling them away from her golden hair.

“how about we get reid in here to clean this up and we can go get your changed and you have a nap in my office? after lunch we can try again with your spare device, hm?”

“why reid do it?”

“reid reads fast so he can detect where the papers go. shall we ask morgan too?”

jj nodded softly and crawled over into her mama’s arms.

“ah baby we gotta clean you up, come on,” emily whispered. she tapped jj’s wet bottom gently, endearingly, and jj whimpered.

“sorry.”

“it’s okay, accidents happen, mama isn’t mad.”

emily went over to the cupboard with jj’s spare clothes in it and pulled out a pull up and a skirt so it wouldn’t be obvious. jj didn’t object, she knew the rules, plus it was going to be nap time so she had to wear one. she let emily help her change and sighed, rubbing her eyes, she was so tired.

“come on baby, let’s go nap,” emily said softly and took her little ones hand.

“see penny first.” jj whispered, looking at her caregiver with her doe eyes.

“yeah, we can see penny first,” emily kissed her girls head.

“jj you okay?” penelope asked, hugging her best friend.

“i otay. nap time”, she whispered.

“nap time okay,” penelope nodded. “good idea.” she kissed jj’s head and emily took her girls hand again to take her up to her office. she grabbed the little one’s paci, blanket and teddy they kept in the office before assisting her little one in laying down.

“mama will be right over there if you need me, okay?” emily asked.

“otay mama,” jj said through a yawn. “nigh nigh.”

“goodnight my little love,” emily chuckled and kissed her girls head, tucking her blanket under her chin. “mama loves you.”

“jj love mama too.”

Chapter Text

“In you get, little love,” Hotch said softly, opening the car door. JJ sniffled and climbed into the passenger seat. Hotch put her seatbelt on before walking around to the driver's side. He got in and silently started the engine before JJ broke into another round of tears. Head in her hands, her shoulders shook. Hotch sighed and moved her blonde hair behind her ear. He knew it’d be hard for his girl but this, this was unexpected. His mind went back to the first wave of tears.

Emily held her baby between her legs as they sat together in the hospital bed as a three.

“No go, mama,” JJ sobbed clinging to Emily’s t-shirt.

“It’s to keep us all safe sweetheart,” Emily muttered through her own tears.

“Come with,” JJ cried harder, pushing herself closer and closer to Emily.

“I’d take you if I could, angel.” The older woman held JJ so close to her, burying her head in her strawberry-scented waves. Emily knew this would be the last time for a long time she’d be able to hold her girl, and it was so sad. Emily could feel JJ’s fingertips digging into her arms. JJ never wanted to let her go. Ever. More time passed and the three sat in silence, despite their tears. JJ settled in Emily’s arms, soaking up her love. Hotch sighed.

“We need to go, they’re here for you,” Hotch said to Emily, his twin sister, gently.

“You’ll look after her? Won’t you Aaron?” Emily whispered, squeezing JJ that little bit tighter.

“Always,” Hotch mumbled and pried JJ from her mama’s arms. Instantly, the regressed JJ began wailing and reaching for Emily but Emily kept her head down. Hotch dragged her from the room before heading to a private room, letting JJ calm down before they left the hospital.

Now in the car, the tears were all back and all JJ wanted was her mama. As Hotch began to drive, JJ cried heavier and pulled at her hair. Hotch reached out one hand, trying to soothe his girl but it was no use. Her emotions were running wild. After telling the team Emily didn’t make it off the table, Hotch thought she’d be okay - knowing it wasn’t true. Knowing Emily was still there, although not here but not dead. But JJ couldn’t bare the thought of possibly never seeing her mama again.

“We can still talk to her baby,” Hotch whispered.

“No same,” JJ sobbed, shaking her head and beginning to bang it against the car window. Hotch pulled over then, into the nearest car park. He removed JJ’s seatbelt as it was only pushing against her neck and took the crying girl into his stronghold. JJ thrashed, hit at his chest but he didn’t even care. He’d take all of her anger if it kept her safe.

“Deep breaths,” Hotch whispered in her ear, moving her hair from her face.

“No fair,” JJ cried, turning into Aaron.

“I know love, I know.”

“Mama.”

A few weeks later, Aaron woke up before JJ. This was uncommon as JJ hadn’t been able to sleep at all. Too overwhelmed and her mind constantly racing. Hotch watched her. He watched the peacefulness across her face, the peacefulness he’d not seen since Emily left. Emily was doing okay, she had everything she needed. The whole team were distraught at her ‘death’ but JJ … JJ loved Emily more than anything in the entire world. Aaron loved Emily too. Emily was his twin sister, he felt like part of him was missing not having his badass Prentiss around but at the same time, he knew she was safe where she was. Safer than she’d be in D.C.

Hotch watched her chest rise and fall and ran his finger down her soft cheek which had been nothing but tear-stained for the last two weeks. Her skin was fresh though, clean, innocent. Hotch loved her girl more than anything in the world.

JJ began to stir as the noises picked up outside. Hotch put down his online Scrabble game before rolling over to look at her. She stretched out, arms above her head and feet all the way down low. Her nose scrunched and her eyelids wrinkled - then it all relaxed and her eyes flickered open. Her blue ones landed on Aaron’s immediately and the corners of her mouth quirked up.

“Dada,” she mumbled softly, rolling onto her side and then shuffling over to cuddle into Hotch. He wrapped his arms securely around her as they slid together like puzzle pieces.

“Good morning, princess,” Hotch yawned, kissing his girl’s head and squeezing her close.

The pair got out of bed after a few episodes of Sofia The First and since it was their day off, JJ requested her favourite activity around the breakfast table.

“Dada,” she mumbled, putting a heaped spoon of porridge in her mouth.

“Yes love?”

“Can maybe we make fort day?”

“You want to make a fort?” Hotch gasped. It was one of the first activities they did with Emily- together as a three.

“Mhm, big an huge an bankes and ights!” JJ giggled, throwing up her arms to show her dada how big it had to be.

“You know what,” Aaron smirked, sitting down beside JJ at the table. “I think we can do just that.” JJ gave her bottom a little wiggle of anticipation and finished eating her breakfast.

Their sofa was upside down, cushions scattered across the floor. Dining room chairs stood proudly as supporting pillars and blankets wrapped around them in a big hug. The floor was covered in JJ’s teddies and even more blankets and fairy lights were strung between the make-shift walls. Inside, JJ lay on her back, watching the patterns dance across the white blanket from her special projector as Aaron prepared the snacks in the kitchen. He knew things had been so hard for his princess recently and he wanted to do anything to make her feel better. Today, doing such a sweet, hands-on activity together, Hotch had seen her smile more than she had in the last two weeks.

Hotch slid the tray of snacks through the door before whispering the password, cheetobreath.

“Come in dada,” JJ giggled and opened the blanket. Hotch smiled and crawled in, ducking down his head through the small gap. “Dada my favwet!” JJ cheered as she saw the bowl of cheetos on the tray.

“Of course, would I ever forget?” Aaron laughed, getting comfortable amongst the fluffy toys and blankets.

“Dada ‘ook,” JJ mumbled, throwing up a cheeto and catching it in her mouth. She giggled loudly and clapped her hands, letting her feet flick in excitement too.

“Oh wow! You’re so talented princess,” Hotch smiled. JJ continued her tricks as Hotch got the film set up.

“Shall we go get you into your pjs baby?” Aaron suggested to his little as she rolled around on the floor.

“Otay dada, ou too,” JJ whispered before crawling out of the fort. Hotch scooped her up, causing her to giggle loudly and squirm in his arms. Once in the bedroom, he threw her onto the bed causing even more loud giggles and rolls across the bed.

“What pjs would you like?” Hotch asked, holding up a few pairs. Jay studied them for a moment, with her thinking face. Then, JJ gasped.

“DADA I KNOW!” She squealed and ran from the bedroom and down the hallway to her nursery. She came back holding two long t-shirts, a Rapunzel one and a Eugine one. She gave the Rapunzel one to Hotch and he laughed, shaking his head.

“Baby, I am not wearing this.”

“Yes dada,” JJ crossed her arms and gave her dada a very stern look. “You are.”

“It’s got Rapunzel on it! Can I at least have the boy?”

“Nope ! Dada it me, you wear it now or else,” JJ giggled. Hotch just rolled his eyes and put his t-shirt on before grabbing JJ and throwing her on the bed. Jay laughed loudly but let her caregiver change her into her pjs.

“You’re one cheeky girl,” Aaron said as they crawled back into their fort.

“I know dada,” JJ whispered back before laying down on her side. She grabbed her blanket and rubbed her face before letting out a little yawn. Hotch smiled and pressed play on the Tangled movie before snuggling up behind JJ. Her wrapped his arm around her waist and moved the hair from her face so he could kiss her cheek.

“Sleep well, my princess,” he told her gently.

“Seep well, my dada,” JJ replied before letting her tired eyes settle on the film.

Hotch missed Emily every day but times like this, the precious moments where he could just soak up his princess, it wasn’t so bad.

Chapter Text

“Penny,” JJ whimpered softly as her stomach turned.

“One second, honey,” Garcia replied, tapping away at her keyboards but JJ didn’t have a second. Before either of them could react, JJ had been sick all over her blankets and toys and Garcia gasped. The smaller girl began to cry, only wanting her mama’s company. Her mama’s company which she couldn’t have.

“Oh Jay,” Garcia mumbled before hurrying into action. She grabbed the young girl and moved her away from the mess before taking off her t-shirt which was also covered.

“Mama,” JJ only whined, rubbing her eyes. All morning she’d been extremely fussy and tired and the team had a case. It was only in the next state so Emily trusted that JJ would be okay with Penelope for a few days and if she was drastically needed, she could come home quickly. However, none of them knew JJ was sick.

“I’ll get mama in a minute sweetheart,” Garcia reassured.

“Mama,” JJ continued to cry as Garcia scooped up the toys and mess and moved it to one side. She called down a cleaning lady before wrapping her fluffy, multicoloured cardigan around the shivering girl sitting on the desk. “Mama,” JJ cried again. She put her head on Garcia’s shoulder, feeling extra small and tiny.

“This is why you’ve been so fussy hm,” Garcia mumbled, rubbing JJ’s back gently. “Let me call your mama.” The phone rang a few times and then Emily’s tired voice came through.

“Prentiss,” she answered.

“Emily!” Penelope said as JJ snuggled in further to the older woman. “We have a slight issue.”

“What’s she done?” Emily sighed. Garcia chuckled a little, finding it cute that her mama instantly thought she’d been up to mischief when in fact she’d been as good as gold.

“No no, she’s been good. She’s just been sick… like everywhere,” Garica grimaced, looking around her office.

“You’re joking,” Emily sighed. Garcia could picture her touching the bridge of her nose through the tone of her voice and she sighed too.

“Mama no joke,” JJ whimpered down the phone. At the sound of her baby’s soft, poor voice, Emily felt guilty. Guilty for leaving her girl behind, guilty for not knowing she was poorly and guilty for not being able to back any time soon. The case now involved the kidnapping of a 7-year-old boy so the team had to be all hands on deck.

“Oh baby,” Emily whispered down the phone. “Do you still feel poorly?”

“Mama home,” JJ replied, wrapping her fist around Penelope’s t-shirt and wiping her wet eyes with it.

“Mama’s working right now angel but I’ll be home when I can,” Emily said to her gently hoping not to upset her too much.

“Mama home now,” the regressed girl cried and began to sob into Garcia’s cardigan. Just then, there was a commotion on Emily’s end of the line.

“Penelope I have to go. Try and get her down for a nap or head home if she’s really bad,” Emily quickly said and hung up. At the sound of the line going dead, JJ sobbed harder into Garcia’s shoulder, only wanting her mama.

“Oh my sugar,” Penelope mumbled, rubbing JJ’s back. Her cries mellowed out pretty quickly, purely due to her exhaustion but now she was fighting sleep, only wanting her mama. Garica had moved from her office, which needed a deep clean, to Emily’s office where they had more of JJ’s things. Garcia sat on the floor, tapping away at her laptop when she could whilst JJ sat between her legs, desperately trying to stay awake. Her Ipad lay on her lap as she tapped away on it softly. She whimpered occasionally and rubbed her belly, really not feeling good but hoping and praying her mama would be back soon. She feared that if she slept, her mama would come and go!

“Would you not like to nap?” Garcia asked her softly, putting some hair behind her ear.

“Nooo,” JJ whined, throwing back her head, sick of the question. “Mama.”

“Okay, okay. We can wait for Mama,” Penelope said, only wrapping her arms around the girl tighter. “I love you, little lady.”

Of course, with how sick she felt and how tired she was, the warm embrace and soft, quiet cartoons on her iPad - and the gentle rocking motion Garcia fell into, JJ was asleep within half an hour. Thankfully, Emily was also home before sunset. Knowing her girl was asleep, she snuck into her office and thanked Garcia majorly.

“She was only sick once, no temperature. I’m not sure what it was but it seems to have passed already,” Garcia lets Emily know.

“That’s all good, is your office okay?”

Garica laughed lightly, being cautious not to disturb the sleeping girl on her chest. “It is but I’m not sure if all of her toys are salvageable.” Emily shrugged, JJ had plenty of them and she had no doubt Garcia would buy her more anyway.

“Do you want to try to lay her down and head home? I’ve got some repo-” JJ began to stir and wiggle and Emily rolled her eyes. Typical. However, she had missed her baby and she knew when JJ was sick, reports could wait.

“Mama,” Jj instantly cried out, realising she was still in the same place. Her head threw back and she went to wail but when she saw her mama sitting behind her - a large smile on her face, she was quick to scramble out of Penelope’s arms.

“Mama!” She gasped, practically jumping into Emily’s arms.

“Hi baby,” Emily chuckled, holding JJ close. Subtly, she felt the back of her neck and sighed with relief.

“Mama went so long,” JJ whined, settling into Emily’s lap and beginning to play with her necklace.

“I was super long but I’m here now,” Emily replied.

“Forever,” JJ whispered. She wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck and hung onto her like a sloth.

Chapter Text

JJ pushed open the bathroom door with such force that the handle hit the adjacent wall. She flew into a cubicle and dropped down by the toilet, ready to throw up the contents of her stomach. She was sick and collapsed by the side of the porcelain bowl. The floor was cold under her head. She whimpered and pulled her knees to her chest. Everything had been too much today, for her big brain. She could feel herself slipping into that younger age, the one tormented by nasty eating habits and weight-watching and she hated it. She tried to fight it. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, trying to fight off the dissociation and regression but then she heard the soft voice and her attempts were futile.

Emily followed in pursuit of JJ. With JJ’s sudden absence from the round table room, concern had flooded Emily. She pushed open the bathroom door gently and cringed as she heard the poor girl throw up into the toilet bowl. She turned the corner just as JJ collapsed to the floor. Emily watched her pull her knees to her chest and could hear the mental anguish in JJ’s brain, fighting whatever demons were in there.

“JJ,” she whispered, bending down to the bathroom floor. She knelt by JJ’s feet and put a comforting hand on the blonde’s calf. JJ looked over silently.
“Hey,” Emily said. Her voice was gentle and understanding to JJ, even though she only said something simple. It was like being swaddled in blankets and placed into the arms of someone who truly cared. JJ wanted that.
“What’s going on?” Emily asked. JJ sighed and shuffled so she could sit up. As much as she wanted to be swaddled and loved and cared for, she had to be professional. She had to be a big girl.
“Was just sick,” She muttered, sitting up. She tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear and put her head back on the amber-coloured cubicle door.
“You got a bug? Eaten something funny?” Emily asked. JJ sighed and nodded then shrugged.
“Not sure,” she simply replied. Emily looked at her, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips. Emily knew it wasn’t the first time JJ had been sick at work, she also knew it wasn’t because she’d eaten something dodgy.
“Jayje,” Emily said. She put her hand on JJ’s arm and smiled at her sympathetically. “Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” JJ said and stumbled to her feet, brushing off Emily’s touch. She was getting too close, asking too many questions now. JJ had to avoid it at all costs. She couldn’t talk about her feelings and she couldn’t act on her feelings either. If it were up to her, she’d be heading home, swaddling herself up in a blanket with her paci, tangled and her stuffies ready for a quiet night in.
“JJ, you’re not alone,” Emily said softly.
“You won’t understand,” JJ said back.
“I might if you talk to me. What is it?”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Em. I don’t want to talk to anyone.” JJ huffed and pulled her sleeves over her hands before exiting the bathroom but Emily knew that telltale sign she wanted to be little from anywhere. The team all knew about JJ’s regression, it had happened a few times around them but no one pushed her to slip and she didn’t have a sole caregiver. Often, Hotch stepped in to take her home and get her settled. Emily often wished it was her though. She wished she was able to take care of JJ in that way, she longed to be her caregiver, longed to have her own sweet little JJ to care for all the time. Emily knew, if JJ was in her care, then she’d be safe and healthy. But she never knew how to approach the subject.
Emily grabbed her wrist just before JJ could leave and pulled her back closer to her. Before JJ had the chance to struggle, Emily had wrapped her in a tight hug, one which she couldn't escape.
“I know what you want,” Emily whispered to the younger girl in her arms. JJ only whimpered.
“I know that you need to regress and that’s okay. Let me help you, sweetheart,” Emily said. JJ whimpered again and shook her head but Emily rested her hand on the back of JJ’s head, cradling it and stroking her hair.
“It’s okay and it’s safe.”
“Not here,” JJ whispered. “At home.”
“Let me take you home. We’ll tell Hotch you’re sick, he’ll understand.”
“Don’t wanna be a bother,” JJ mumbled but turned her head, cuddling further into Emily.
“You’re never, ever a bother to me, Jay. I want to help,” Emily explained. JJ sighed and wrapped her arms around Emily tightly. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t need to. The hug was enough of a thank you. Emily squeezed JJ and they stayed silent for a good few minutes.

The pair drove home in silence. Hotch understood JJ was sick and feeling small and since there was no case, happily sent Emily home with her. JJ was nervous, her house was a mess. JJ knew Emily was a bit of a clean freak but JJ thrived in organised chaos and her house was just that. Chaos. She found it difficult to look after herself with how much had been happening recently, particularly in her head.

They got home and Emily helped JJ out of the car, JJ was feeling smaller by the minute. Emily held her hand as they headed up to the house and JJ fumbled with her house key.
“Erm,” she spoke up before opening the door.
“What is it, bug?”
“It’s messy.”
“That’s okay. We all get messy sometimes,” Emily reassured. JJ sighed and nodded before opening the door but Emily wasn’t prepared for how messy it was. It was clear the mess belonged to big and little JJ. The front living room looked much like a child’s playroom, with the sofa, turned upside down, blankets sprawled over the floor, toys all around, and the TV was still playing reruns of cartoons. JJ’s cheeks were burning up as Emily observed the room.
“I’m sorry, I should clean it,” she said. She picked up a piece of clothing and threw it over her shoulder, then another and another before Emily stopped it. She put a comforting hand on JJ’s arm and JJ paused.
“Hey, no. You’re all good. Let’s leave this for now - what about we sit in the kitchen?” Emily said. She took the clothes off JJ’s shoulder and placed them on the arm of the sofa before taking the smaller girl’s hand and leading her into the other room. But it was just as messy, if not worse. A rotten food smell had built up along with plates and bowls, cutlery and cups by the sink. JJ lowered her eyes and shuffled her feet, her hand still loosely in Emiy’s.
“It’s not a big deal, Jay,” Emily said, reassuringly. She turned and lifted the chin of the little one so JJ was looking at her. Tears had pooled in her blue eyes. “No need to get upset.”
“Embarrassed,” JJ said, moving her gaze to the mess.
“There is no need for that either, I understand little ones like you struggle to look after yourself and hey – it gives us an excuse to door dash.” JJ went redder at the words used by her colleague. She wanted to shake her head and disagree and say she was perfectly capable of looking after herself but the state of her home right now, and her head made that seem very false. She had no leg to stand on. Instead of arguing, she put her head on Emily’s shoulder and tried not to sob. Emily wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her back.
“How about we have a nap, hm?” Emily suggested. JJ nodded, she wanted to sleep and forget about all of this.

The older of the pair took JJ’s hand and walked through the house and up to JJ’s bedroom, remembering where it was from the wine night the girls had a few months prior. Emily sighed thinking about how downhill JJ’s mental health has been since. They walked into JJ’s room and JJ beelined for the bed. It was unmade and full of teddies and blankets too but Emily thought it was quite sweet. JJ sat in the middle of it and waited for Emily to help her, growing smaller and smaller in her head.

“Where are your pjs, bug?” Emily asked.
JJ shrugged and pointed to the floor which was scattered with clothes. Emily laughed and picked up a pair of pink shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt which looked like it matched.
“Are these clean?” Emily asked.
JJ shrugged again and Emily laughed.
“They’ll do. Come here,” She tapped in front of her on the bed and J shuffled over and raised her arms, letting Emily change her. Emily smiled at the trust shared and changed her girl into comfier clothes. As soon as she could, JJ slid under her blue blanket and curled into a ball, looking up at Emily with her soft eyes.
“Okay, are you going to get some sleep?” Emily pulled the larger comforter up and over JJ so she’d be warmer, grabbed a teddy from the side of the bed, and handed it to the little one. JJ nodded and sighed, taking the teddy. She closed her eyes and slid her thumb into her mouth.
“Good girl, I’ll be downstairs if you need anything just shout, okay, bug?”
JJ nodded, already half asleep.

Emily headed down the stairs and looked at the state of the kitchen. She quickly got to work on throwing out rubbish, filling up the sink to wash the pots, and organising JJ’s clothes to put through the washer. She could tell from the old dishes that she hadn’t eaten in at least a few days and that worried her more. It was clear JJ was struggling to take care of herself in every capacity. She knew she needed to help.

An hour and a half later, everything was tidy and in tip-top shape. Just as she went to wake up her girl, who was hopefully still regressed and in a good mood, she heard the bedroom door open and saw JJ begin down the stairs - in her adult clothes.
“Emily?” she called out, wondering if she was still in her house.
“Hey, JJ,” Emily replied when she got to the bottom. JJ paused and looked around the room, Emily had tidied up her things - for her. A wave of guilt washed over her. Emily noticed the change of expression and reached out a hand to support her.
“Hey, it’s okay.”
“You didn’t need to do this,” JJ said. She walked into the kitchen and found that also polished to perfection.
“I wanted to, JJ. To help you. Can we talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is. JJ, honey, you need help.”
“I don’t. I’m a perfectly capable adult,” JJ huffed, almost like she was trying to convince herself of the fact too.
“JJ, your house was a mess. When was the last time you ate? Or showered? I’m not trying to condescend you or invalidate you whatsoever. I just see a friend who's struggling, and I’d like to help.” Emily put her hand on JJ’s shoulder, stopping her from walking away again. JJ sighed. She turned to face Emily.
“I don’t want to bother you, upset you or be a nuisance.”
“You’re none of them things, honey. Never, ever, not to me. I want to help you, I’m offering.”
“But what if I’m too much?”
“Then we can discuss it. But for now, let me in, let me help little Jay and you.”
JJ stayed silent, thinking it over, before sighing and letting her shoulders drop.
“Okay. Okay but, Emily, you have to tell me if I’m too much, or not enough - or if I’m not good enough for you.”
“JJ, I will. But you need to let me in completely. You’re always good enough for me, always. Come here,” she said. She opened her arms for her friend, and JJ moved into them, accepting the comforting embrace.
“I’ve got you,” Emily muttered as JJ let out another sigh. “It’s going to be okay, bug.”

Chapter Text

JJ slammed the door, grabbing Elle’s attention immediately. The blonde charged into the kitchen threw her bag onto the chair and huffed off upstairs in a fury. Elle grew confused and followed her girlfriend up the stairs.
Elle caught a glimpse of JJ in the bathroom before she slammed the door shut.
Elle knocked gently, “Jennifer, what's going on?” She didn’t get an answer straight away so asked again before trying the handle. JJ hadn’t locked the door so Elle slid into the dark bathroom. JJ had pulled the blind down and was sat in the empty bath, knees to her chest, head down and hair covering her face.
“Jay,” Elle said, growing concerned. JJ brought herself here when severely overwhelmed. The cold porcelain of the bath, paired with the deep sides which came up around her calmed her down - and helped her feel safer. “What’s happened, baby?” Elle asked. She sat beside the bath and reached her hand in. She was cautious to touch her but JJ sensed the hand above her head and lifted it slightly so Elle could stroke her hair. Glad JJ initiated the touch, Elle began running her hand over the girl's head, comforting her. JJ still didn’t answer but Elle was okay with that, now knowing she was safe. She didn’t know if JJ was going to regress but with the suddenness of the shutdown, she knew deep down it was inevitable.

Around ten minutes later, after sitting in silence, JJ lifted her head. Tears were streaming steadily down her pink cheeks and Elle pouted, looking at her sweet girl.
“What happened, Peanut?”
“They mad,” JJ said simply, in quite a younger voice.
“Who is baby?”
“Team,” JJ mumbled. She reached over for Elle and then clambered out of the bath. She sat herself in between Elle’s legs on the bathroom floor and wrapped her arms and legs around her caregiver - giving her a big koala hug. Elle smiled and held her tight.

It had been a while since JJ’s regression was triggered like this - it hardly ever happened anymore. As sad as that made Elle sometimes, she could see how much better JJ was. How much healthier and stronger she’d become with her new therapist and new coping mechanisms. Elle knew she’d always come back to her little self eventually but it made her mad that the team being angry with her had triggered this.
“Why are they mad? Are they angry with you?” Elle asked, running her hands up and down JJ’s back.
“Em come back,” JJ whispered, “Mad and they say my fault.”
“They’re mad she came back?”
“I lie,” JJ sobbed as tears broke through her. Elle sighed and held JJ tighter as more tears took over her.

Elle managed to get JJ to her bedroom after some more tears. She wasn’t expecting the night to go like this. She held JJ’s shaking hands as she trimmed and filed her nails, making sure her regressed self wouldn’t cause any unwanted harm to the body. JJ had explained what happened, going over the case briefly where she could and then Derek and Reid’s reactions - how they got mad and Spencer’s threat.
“Sweetheart, look at me,” Elle said. She let go of JJ’s trembling hands and held her face gently. Her thumbs wiped the stray tears.
“I lied,” JJ whimpered.
“You protected Emily. You did your job. You did what you had to do and I am so insanely proud of you for that, baby girl.”
“But Spe-”
“Spencer is hurting. He’s confused, he’s angry and he’s going to take it out on the one person he trusts most because he knows you won’t leave. It isn’t fair on you, not at all but he’ll be okay. He won’t be angry forever, he’ll grow to understand that what you did was a necessity.”

JJ nodded gently and Elle kissed her head before going over to the wardrobe. “Let’s get you changed.”

“Arms up, Peanut,” Elle whispered softly as JJ began to stare off into space, eyes teary again. Elle knew it was going to be a long, painful night with all these tears and feelings. She just hoped she could keep JJ as safe and small as possible then the anger, confusion and negativity wouldn’t take control of her. JJ didn’t respond so Elle did the work. She slid JJ’s arms out of her t-shirt and pulled it off her head. She took off her bra too and then slid her pyjama top on. Guiding JJ’s arms through the holes, Elle made sure to be gentle. She then made sure the wrists were tight around them so she couldn’t pull up the sleeves - a difficult but necessary precaution. Next, she managed to lie JJ on the bed to sort out her bottom half.

Once in her pyjamas, Elle wondered what to do. She wanted to finish making dinner but knew JJ wouldn’t eat - not without a fight. She also knew she couldn’t leave JJ on her own, not even for five minutes in this state. Sighing, she managed to get JJ on her back before heading to the kitchen.

Sitting JJ securely on the counter was easy but as soon as she tried to get to the other side of the room, the small girl whined loudly.
“I’m right here,” Elle said, reaching a hand over to JJ but JJ shook her head. She jumped off the counter and walked over to Elle, wrapping her arms around her. Elle chuckled slightly and lifted JJ back up.
“You sit here, I’m just making you something to eat,” she tried to argue but JJ cried out again.
“Okay, okay baby.” Elle sighed. She grabbed a bottle, some milk and sugar quickly before coming and standing beside JJ. JJ moved closer to her, as close as she could get. It had been a long time since it had been this bad and Elle knew it was all the team’s fault. Spencer’s especially. Yet, as angry as Elle felt, she knew she couldn’t show that around JJ.

The pair ended up on the couch with dancing strawberries on the screen. Elle tried Bluey at first, knowing that was JJ’s all-time favourite, but the business of it stressed her small one out. JJ rubbed at her eyes harshly watching it, trying to get her little brain to keep up with the yapping dogs but she couldn’t and it quickly turned into a meltdown. The strawberries and sprouts settled the small girl back down again.

Holding JJ in her arms, Elle rocked them both softly. It was a gentle motion, not to overwhelm her but to keep her regulated. She wanted to get JJ in her rocker on her own at first but knew that getting it out of its storage space whilst JJ was so small and clingy was going to be hard so settled just holding her on her own instead. JJ’s soft blue eyes flickered over the screen as she rhythmically sucked on her paci, Elle stroked her hair.

A knock on the door broke the pattern and JJ’s half-asleep body jerked awake in Elle’s arms. Immediately she cried out, not impressed at being disturbed. Elle cursed and held her tighter, hoping to ignore the person at the door but there was another knock, causing JJ to cry louder.
“It’s okay baby, mama’s here,” Elle mumbled. She set JJ on the sofa and ran to the door and swung it open - hoping to be back to JJ after telling the distributor to fuck off. However, she saw a very glum-looking Emily. Just as both women went to say something, JJ crashed into Elle, wrapping her arms around her waist and clinging to her mama’s top.
“Oh baby, mama’s here you’re okay,” Elle mumbled, forgetting about Emily at the door.

“Oh I’ve missed her,” Emily mumbled from outside after a few more moments of silence.
“I’m so sorry, Emily, come in. Can you lock the door behind you?” Elle picked up JJ and carried her back to the sofa. She sat her girl down on the seat and grabbed her paci which she dropped in her crying. Emily came in and sat on the opposite sofa.
“I’m sorry again, Em,” Elle said, fumbling over the fussy girl. “She’s been like this since she got home.”
“I heard how the team reacted to her. They’re all angry at her and Hotch but obviously can’t express it to their boss so it’s all coming out on her. She was distraught at work.” Emily explained, watching on. Emily knew all about JJ’s regression and often babysat back when it was more common but JJ getting better and Emily being away, she’d not seen it in over a year.
“She’s not been this young in years,” Elle sighed and cradled JJ. Instantly the younger girl settled back in her caregiver’s arms. She clung to her t-shirt, burying her head in Elle’s neck with her paci in her mouth again. Elle sighed and began rocking to try and get her back to sleep.
“I should have called before I came over - I didn’t even think-” Emily said apologetically.
“Don’t worry, she's settled now. Anything and everything is setting her off at the moment, even Bluey.” Elle sighed.

JJ fell asleep and Emily and Elle got into the rhythm of a good old catch-up, it had been so long since they’d spoken properly. Emily caught Elle up on her time in Paris and Elle told Emily about how she and JJ were getting on.
Eventually, Emily left and Elle woke up a half-asleep JJ to get her upstairs and into bed. Elle knew she couldn’t leave JJ alone, so settled her in her bed with her.

It was an easy night after that, JJ slept like a baby.