Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

𝟓𝟖

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𝐲𝐨𝐮

after leaving the funeral, hawks and i headed to my apartment, seeking solace in each other’s company on this impossibly difficult day. the silence between us was heavy but not uncomfortable—it was the kind that comes from shared grief.

once home, i changed into something more comfortable, leaving the funeral clothes folded neatly in my laundry room. the sun was just starting to set, its golden light filtering through the curtains and painting the room in hues of orange and pink. keigo and i sat on the couch, the tv murmuring some random news segment neither of us was paying much attention to. his arm was draped lazily over my shoulders as i scribbled more notes for project rewind, trying to keep my hands busy.

“nothing interesting on,” i muttered, glancing quickly at the screen where a health expert was rambling about some new trend.

keigo gave me a faint smile—his signature half-smile that usually meant his mind was elsewhere. though his body was next to mine, i could feel his thoughts wandering, pulling him away from the room and into the depths of something i couldn’t reach.

before i could ask what was on his mind, a knock sounded at the door.

“i’ll get it,” i said, but the door opened before i could rise, revealing best jeanist in his usual composed state.

“y/n, keigo,” he greeted, nodding at me as well. “i hope i’m not interrupting, i know it’s been a difficult day.”

“not at all,” keigo said, his casual demeanor slipping into something more professional as he stood. “what’s up?”

best jeanist’s expression softened ever so slightly. “i thought we should visit your mother. after everything with touya’s revelation and the liberation army… it’s important to check on her.”

the mention of his mother made keigo tense. i saw it in the subtle shift of his jaw and the way his fingers brushed mine briefly before he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“yeah,” he muttered, voice tight. “that’s probably a good idea.” he glanced at me, his golden eyes flickering with something unreadable. “you okay staying here, y/n?”

i nodded, giving him a small smile. “i’ll be fine. go ahead.”

he hesitated for a moment, as if he wanted to say more but didn’t know how. instead, he gave a quick nod, grabbed his blazer, and followed jeanist out the door.

the silence that followed was deafening. i stared at the closed door for a moment before returning to my notes, though my mind refused to focus. my thoughts wandered to touya—his actions, his motives.

was he trying to make a statement with what he did to ayumi? was he watching, waiting for his next move?

what kind of monster had he become?

a sharp knock at the door pulled me from my spiraling thoughts. i peered through the peephole, my heart leaping at the sight of two familiar faces.

fuyumi and natsuo.

“fuyumi, natsuo?” i said as i opened the door, my voice trembling with emotion. “what are you both doing here?”

“we wanted to see how you’re holding up,” fuyumi said gently, her kind eyes searching mine.

“yeah, we’ve missed you,” natsuo added with a small smile. “dinner’s been dull without you. fuyumi’s cooking is great, but it’s not the same without you there to liven things up.”

“hey!” fuyumi shot him a playful glare, then turned back to me with a more serious expression. “we heard about your friend ayumi. we’re so sorry, kazane. we can’t imagine how hard this has been for you.”

her words hit me like a wave, and i felt tears prick the corners of my eyes.

“i just got back from her funeral moments ago.”

“you’ve been through so much,” natsuo said softly. “and we were selfish, caught up in our own pain over touya. we didn’t stop to think about how much more you must’ve suffered.”

“oh, you guys,” i whispered, wiping away a stray tear. “i’ve wanted to reach out to you for so long. i miss you both. i miss… everything.”

fuyumi pulled me into a warm hug. “we’re here now, sis. and we’re not going anywhere.”

natsuo joined the embrace, wrapping his arms around both of us. “through thick and thin, near or far, y/n.”

the three of us stayed like that for a moment, a fragile sense of comfort settling between us. when they finally pulled back, natsuo grinned. “mind if we hang out for a bit? looks like you could use the company.”

“i’d love that,” i said, smiling through my tears.

a few hours passed as we talked and laughed, reminiscing about old times and catching up on everything that had happened since the hospital reunion. for a little while, it felt like the weight of the world had lifted.

a bit of positivity in these difficult times. 

but all too soon, it was time for them to leave. as i walked them to the door, keigo had returned, his expression shadowed. he managed a polite wave to fuyumi and natsuo, but as soon as the door closed behind them, his mask crumbled.

“hey, kei?” i asked softly, stepping closer. “are you okay? how was your mom?”

he didn’t meet my eyes as he pulled a crumpled letter from his pocket. his voice was hollow. “she’s gone.”

my heart sank. “gone? what do you mean?”

keigo’s hand tightened around the paper. “she left a note. said she’s sorry—for everything. for how she treated me, for what she told touya and his people.” his voice cracked, a rare fissure in his composed facade. “she said she didn’t want to cause me any more trouble… that she’s ‘proud’ of me.”

the pain in his voice was palpable, cutting through the room like a knife.

“keigo…” i whispered, reaching for him.

he stepped back, shaking his head. “she ran away. she couldn’t even face me.”

his frustration was written in every line of his body, his golden eyes blazing with a mix of anger and sorrow.

“it’s touya’s fault,” he said bitterly. “he dragged her into this mess. he destroyed everything.” his gaze flicked to me, and for a moment, i saw the guilt lurking there. “and he did too many things to you, too.”

i moved closer, gently placing a hand on his arm. “this isn’t your fault, keigo. none of it.”

he let out a bitter laugh. “but it feels like it is. as if i’m being punished by him.”

before i could respond, he looked at me, vulnerability etched into his features. “i-i know we stayed up late last night, but… can i stay with you again tonight? i brought some things with me.”

“you can stay as long as you need,” i said, pulling him into a tight embrace. “you’ll never be alone, keigo. i promise.”

he buried his face in my shoulder, his arms wrapping around me as if holding on for dear life. “thank you, nerd.”

𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐬

earlier that day…

and just like that, we were heading out. jeanist drove while i directed, the atmosphere in the car growing heavier the closer we got. i didn’t say much during the ride, and jeanist didn’t push. he knew this wasn’t easy for me. visiting my mother’s home always seemed to bring out a part of me that i always kept buried deep—my vulnerability, my past.  

the one i was encouraged to let go of since i was little.  

when we pulled up to the luxurious building, it looked the same as always. quiet. too quiet.  

“you sure she’s here?” jeanist asked, glancing at me. “building looks like it hasn’t been lived in for quite some time.”  

i didn’t answer right away. i stared at the building for a moment before nodding. “she doesn’t go out much, commission’s orders.”  

we made our way inside, the door creaking as we stepped into the huge, beautifully lit apartment. everything looked untouched. everything was in its place—the furniture, the curtains. there was no sign of my mother.  

“tomei?” i called out, my voice carrying through the empty space. no response. “mom?”  

jeanist and i exchanged a glance, both of us noticing the same thing. the place was eerily still, but there was something off. a weight in the air that hadn’t been there the last time i had visited.  

then we saw it. a small letter on one of the coffee tables, the paper slightly crumpled and filled with ink, like it had been folded and unfolded too many times.  

what is this?  

my hands trembled slightly as i picked it up. jeanist could feel the shift in me immediately, the way my usually steady composure cracked. i read the letter in silence, my eyes scanning the words over and over again, as if trying to make sense of them.  

keigo,  
i don’t even know how to start this letter, but i need you to understand that leaving wasn’t easy for me. it was the hardest decision i’ve ever made. i know you probably hate me right now, and maybe that’s what i deserve. but there are things you don’t know, things i didn’t tell you to protect you.  

i started receiving threats. they somehow knew about me—about my past, about how i’m connected to you and your father. these villains threatened to burn and destroy everything if i didn’t cooperate. they wanted details, secrets, anything they could use against you.  

i did it, keigo. i betrayed you. but staying meant putting you in even more danger, and i can’t live with that. if i disappear, they’ll lose interest, and you’ll be safe.  

i wish things were different. i wish i could have been the mother you deserved. but im not, i’m not strong like you. i’m sorry i failed you. i’m sorry for leaving. again.  

please take care of yourself. and remember, no matter what, i’m proud of you. 

i truly am sorry, keigo.

love,  
mom

“what does it say?” jeanist asked gently, stepping closer.  

“she fucking left,” i said, my voice cracking despite my attempt to hold it together. “i don’t know how long ago, but she left before the war.”  

jeanist stood silent, his eyes narrowing with concern. “i can try to investigate with every airport or train station to see when she left. she’s running from her truth.”  

“what a shitty experience,” i muttered, bitterness lacing my words. “having my mom leave me twice now. both times my fault, for being this.”  

tears threatened to fall, but i held them back, swallowing the lump in my throat. i wasn’t going to cry—not here, not in front of jeanist.  

his voice cut through the tension. “don’t carry this weight alone, keigo. you’re a hero. but you’re also human. mistakes happen. people make choices we can’t control.” he stepped forward, his eyes steady. “we’ll handle this. but for now, you need to stay close with your people. careful. things are only going to get worse.”  

i nodded, though he could clearly see the storm still raging inside me. we made our way back to my apartment in silence, the drive feeling longer than before. when we finally got back to y/n’s home, jeanist told me he’d be meeting with endeavor soon, that i should lay low for these few days. the moment he left, the tension in me was thick enough to cut.  

my mind wandered back to all the times touya had threatened me during my double agent mission. he was really neck-deep into this scheme of revenge. and even if part of me felt bad for him, he really did ruin most of my life in his own chaotic way.  

and if i continued to let him do as he pleased, he may or may not end up taking the only important piece in my life now.  

y/n.