Chapter Text
Bea slept peacefully with her face pressed against his chest. Lying on her stomach like that, she looked extremely adorable with a tuft of dark velvety hair. He loved her like that and even more when she smiled with her toothless mouth and her eyes sparkled, he loved her when she examined a new toy with such a concentration that he would give anything to know what was going on in her head. She reminded him of Inej many times, especially when she wasn’t happy with something, but sometimes he saw something else in her that he knew but couldn’t place. He suspected it had some connection to his dead family, maybe to Jordie, his father or mother, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. It had been too long since he had lost them.
Being with his daughter and wife here, in his old home, was still strange, painful at first but then he had realised it was actually a good thing to give the house new meaning, new happy memories. When Inej had offered to move there, he hadn’t been sure at all if he even wanted to. Yes, they had discussed using the house occasionally, because it was great to have a property in the country, especially if they had children (and now it obviously was a great time), but only for a few days a year, so it wasn’t the same thing as living there every day. He knew it was temporary and it had been his comfort at first. He didn’t like to run from problems, which leaving Ketterdam certainly was, or at least for him, but as the days passed, the return and with it his trial became more of a nightmare for him. He was able to pretend that everything was fine even though Inej saw right through him, but ever since he had found out what had happened to Nikolai, he was in constant worry and had completely lost his appetite.
When Inej came back from Ketterdam, she found them lying on the bed, Bea sleeping and Kaz thinking.
“Have you moved from here at all?” she asked, smiling at them and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Of course we have,” Kaz said, a little offended. “We went for a walk. Twice actually. Once in the morning and then in the afternoon. We played for a while until she was hungry again. We danced a bit and then she spent some time on her belly on the play rug watching me practise martial arts.”
“I’m sure she loved it. Too bad I missed it. You haven’t done it in a while.” Inej kissed him carefully so as not to wake Bea. “I missed you. Both of you.”
“I’m sure you did. We’re incredibly cute and irresistible,” Kaz smirked.
“Of course you are. Give me a minute and I’ll be right back.”
Inej left the room and when she returned, she was wearing comfortable clothes and carrying boxes of food. Kaz immediately recognised the smell.
“You bought hutspot and fried potatoes?” he was amazed.
“I did. Can I feed you?”
“I mistook me for Bea, darling.”
Inej rolled her eyes and shoved a potato into his mouth before he had a chance to close it. Once the food was gone, Inej made herself comfortable and snuggled up against his side with her head on his shoulder.
“It was so strange to be without Bea all day. I was so stressed she will miss me.”
“You’re lucky she can’t tell you,” Kaz remarked. “She was fine, don’t worry.”
Inej still hadn’t told him anything about her time in Ketterdam and it was already getting suspicious. He hadn’t liked the idea from the very beginning and now he thought there might be something more to it.
“Nikolai seemed fine,” Inej started. “A bit bruised, just like Jesper said, but he didn’t really want to talk about it much. There seemed to be some guys waiting for him outside his company. They knew he used to leave late.”
“I hope not anymore.”
“He’s more careful now. He and Zoya have moved to another apartment and reinforced their security, so they should be safe.”
“I hope you’re right,” Kaz muttered.
He would never forgive himself if Nikolai and Zoya got hurt because of him and he already felt bad that something had happened to Nikolai.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” Kaz asked.
Inej shook her head. “Only that I love you.”
“Inej. What have you done?”
“Nothing and don’t ask me again. I’m too tired to talk now.”
She snuggled closer to him, which was a very dirty tactic, but it worked. However, Kaz promised himself to get it out of her at the earliest opportunity, because he was absolutely certain that he wouldn’t like it. In the end, he succeeded only a few weeks later.
Although it might seem that they were enjoying nothing but privacy at the farm, the opposite was true. Inej’s parents came to visit very often and Kaz didn’t mind at all. After all, they had moved to Ketterdam to be close to their daughter and granddaughter. And a son-in-law, as both Arati and Irfan would remind him. They respected their decision and supported them, never protesting that they ended up having to travel south regularly to be with them. Kaz was actually surprised because at first, he had expected them to be upset with them for leaving. However, reproves never came. Even their friends visited them often, mostly Nina, Matthias and their children and Jesper and Wylan.
One Saturday, exactly a few days before the start of Kaz’s trial, Inej organised something a little bigger with most of their friends. She was very excited about it and Kaz tried not to spoil it for her, but it almost felt like a goodbye party or something worse. So they would have to pack up and move back to Ketterdam to face everything that they had been putting off until now. Kaz already had another idea he hadn’t told Inej yet because he was waiting for the right moment. He wanted her to stay at the farm with Bea until the trial was over. He knew how hard it would be and that he would be constantly followed by the press and he didn’t want Inej and Bea to go through that as well. It was enough that he would have to do it. What would Inej say to that? He had so many arguments prepared and expected a tough fight, so that was probably why he hadn’t started it yet. Or maybe he didn’t want to spoil his last days with his family. Once the trial began, his fate would be in someone else’s hands, which was a very scary thought, especially for someone like him. After everything he had been through when his parents and brother had died and he had been placed in an orphanage where he had lost all his rights, he had promised himself that he would never let anyone make decisions for him. Yet there he was, waiting to see what the next days, weeks and months would bring.
“Kaz?”
Kaz blinked and turned to Inej. He was supposed to bring something from the kitchen, but he completely forgot what it was.
“Are you okay?” Inej asked.
“Of course I am.”
She didn’t look convinced as she stepped closer and put a hand on his arm.
“You know you can tell me anything.”
Kaz gritted his teeth and then sighed. “It looks like a farewell party, or a birthday party.”
He had tried hard not to think about it, but with all the food Arati, Nina and Genya had made and brought here, and even Inej had done a lot herself, with the decorations and so many people, with Lada and Eira running around, it really could look like a birthday party. The one that Kaz might miss when Bea was a year old.
“I’m sorry, Kaz. It didn’t occur to me at all. I should have thought of that.”
“It’s okay, really. It’s just… It’s a strange feeling.”
“If you don’t feel like it, I can tell the others that you’re sick or something,” Inej offered, but Kaz shook his head.
“No, no, I’m fine, really. I think I’ll open the bottle of whiskey that Jesper brought. I know it’s only lunchtime, but a bit of alcohol won’t hurt, right?”
Inej was still watching him, but then probably realised what she was doing. She looked like she was about to say something when they were interrupted by the sounds of their cell phones.
OLAF: Hey guys, have you seen Nina and Jesper? I think we may have lost them.
GIANT: How could you lose them? We’re all in the same garden, aren’t we?
BLADE: We were playing hide and seek.
GRUMPY: I’m glad you’re having a great time while we babysit.
GIANT: Didn’t notice you anywhere near any kids, Adrik.
GRUMPY: 🙄
SNOW WHITE: So where are Nina and Jesper?
OLAF: I think they hid too well and we’re unable to find them.
BLADE: Kaz, any idea?
Kaz sighed loudly. He should have expected that having all these crazy people here would cause even more chaos, especially if they let them run around like little children.
“We should probably look for them,” Inej suggested.
“Can we just let it be? They’ll come back when they’re hungry.”
Inej chuckled. “You’re right. So that means it’s the best time to heat up the grill.”
“Can we leave them be lost a little longer?” Kaz asked. “It’s pretty quiet here without them.”
“I’m sure Matthias is panicking already.”
Kaz frowned. “Fine, let’s lure them out of their holes.”
As they walked out of the house into the garden, they saw Matthias walking around with Even sleeping in the pram. He was still keeping an eye on Eira, but his daughter seemed very happy in the company of a few years older Lada. Obviously, these two girls weren’t involved in a game of hide and seek.
“See? Matthias is not panicking,” Kaz pointed out. “He knows Nina can’t last long without food.”
Still, they heated up the grill and Kaz took charge of preparing the meat, because he wouldn’t let anyone else near his grill. Only Inej, but she was always better for slicing. As the smell of grilled meat began to waft through the air, Jesper and Nina returned and were first in line with their plates.
“Kaz Brekker making steaks on the grill, I’ve never seen anything hotter,” Jesper remarked with a chuckle.
“So now you’ll have to walk home,” Wylan said with a wry smile.
They spent the whole afternoon outside, coming back inside only when the day turned to night. Most went back to Ketterdam, only Nina, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan remained, so when the children finally slept, the adults played games.
Dressed in his best suit and wearing the coldest expression he could muster, Kaz sat in the dock waiting for the judge to appear. Next to him was a whole group of lawyers, some his own, some Nikolai’s. The entire history of the Kerch judiciary had probably never seen so many of them present at the same time in one courtroom, and of course neither of them could remain silent while they discussed what the wait might mean.
Probably nothing good.
If Kaz was nervous, no one could tell. After all, over the years he had learned to hide his feelings deep inside.
Just don’t forget to breathe.
Inej had wanted to be here with him. Of course he couldn’t convince her to stay in the country with Bea (she had called him shevrati so many times he had lost count), but at least this time she had listened and stayed home. Getting into the courthouse through the front door had been impossible, as probably every reporter in Ketterdam had gathered here to see the famous businessman Kaz Brekker humiliated, but even if he was dragged out of there in handcuffs, no one would see him as anything but proud and strong. Fortunately, Nikolai had arranged an open back entrance for Kaz while he had already been waiting for him inside. He was now sitting behind Kaz with Jesper and Wylan. If Kaz turned his head back, he would see Nina and Matthias somewhere in the back with Zoya, Genya and David. Arati and Irfan were there too, as were Imogen, Anika, Pim, even Alina with Mal and Tolya, maybe even Leoni, Madeleine and Adrik, but he hadn’t looked for them. Kaz didn’t know what to make of the presence of everyone from their group, so he pushed it out of his mind for now.
You can do it. Just stay focused, do not panic.
The judge was taking his time. The trial was supposed to start some time ago, but still nothing happened. Kaz clenched his fists under the table.
That night, Bea had slept between her parents in their bed, sometimes pressed against Kaz, sometimes against Inej. She had looked content and Kaz had been a little envious of her peaceful sleep. He couldn’t sleep at all because his mind had been too restless and he had wanted to enjoy every moment with his family until it was possible.
My family.
A few years ago, he would never have thought that he could have something like this again. But now he had not only Inej, but also her parents, their friends. Bea.
“What’s taking them so long?” Nikolai mumbled impatiently so that only Kaz and probably Jesper and Wylan could hear him.
Kaz didn’t turn his head towards them. He knew Nikolai had looked pale this morning, perfectly dressed but still nervous. He wasn’t that good at hiding it as well as Kaz. He had tried to tell Kaz that he was sorry for letting it go this far, but Kaz hadn’t let him finish. It wasn’t Nikolai’s fault after all. He had done so much for Kaz to help him and it didn’t work just because of Kerch corrupt system.
Bea had smiled at her father in the morning, not knowing or understanding what was going on, or that there was a possibility that her Da wouldn’t come home that day.
I’ll be back even if I have to run away. No one can keep me away from my girls.
The door in front opened and the judge entered. He had a bald head and a big moustache. Kaz knew his name as he knew all the other judges. This one wasn’t too bad. He was the youngest of them and a bit more progressive. As the man sat down in his seat, he looked around and then his eyes rested on Kaz, who firmly returned his gaze. He wouldn’t be intimidated by anything or anyone. Then the judge cleared his throat and looked around at everyone gathered in the courtroom.
“If you were expecting a long trial, you’ll be disappointed this time. I’ve gone through all the alleged evidence in this case and I can’t find any reason why this man should be here. There is no evidence of his guilt except for a few minor misdemeanours which should have been dealt with admonition or at a fine. This whole gathering is completely unnecessary and I will not continue this charade any further. Mr Brekker, you are a free man and I will see to it that anyone involved in this stupid thing is punished accordingly. If you want to press charges, you should. You can all go.”
Murmurs echoed through the hall as Kaz stared at the judge, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
“Come on,” Nikolai nudged him.
Kaz stood up and followed him as if in a dream. Applause followed him all the way out of the room. Inej was waiting in the corridor behind the door with Bea in her arms.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Kaz objected weakly.
“Did you really think I could leave you in this alone?” Inej frowned, but her face was pale, and he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that everything would be alright. “What happened? It didn’t take as long as I thought. Does it mean something bad?”
Kaz felt the brief touch of Nikolai’s hand on his left shoulder and Jesper’s on his right.
“We won without a trial,” Nikolai grinned in satisfaction.
“What? How’s that possible?” Inej wondered.
“I really don’t know,” Nikolai admitted. “I worked hard to get this particular judge for this case because he was the only one who seemed sane, but I never would have guessed that he was that sane.”
We won without a trial. You’re free.
As people left the courtroom, the Ghafas came and so did Matthias with Nina and the others.
“We have to celebrate!” Jesper beamed. “How about brunch at the Kooperom? I’m sure Kaz hasn’t eaten since the weekend.”
Kaz shook his head. He didn’t want to go anywhere but home with his wife and daughter and sleep for days because he felt exhausted like never before. Maybe in a few days he would understand what had happened here today and realised he wasn’t going back to Hellgate. If he could prevent it, he would never allow himself to be put in such a situation and have his life turned upside down again. He never wanted to relive the months of stress and fear he had been through.
Inej wrapped her free arm around his waist and he hugged her and Bea at the same time.
“Let’s go home,” she told him gently.
A YEAR LATER
“Why do we have to do this?” Kaz asked, annoyed, looking back at what Bea was doing.
She was kicking her feet and examining a piece of paper. It was actually a page of accounts from the Crow Clubs that she had stolen from his desk while sitting on his lap. Since he had everything on his computer and this page was only for one meeting that had already taken place, he didn’t mind at all, but he wondered what was so interesting about all those numbers to a one year old girl with a small ponytail on the top of her head with lots of wavy black hair.
“We want to do it,” Inej answered.
“You want to do it,” Kaz objected.
Inej smiled, looking at the road ahead. They were supposed to turn left soon and she didn’t want to miss it. Right after that the farm came into view and it was a sight so familiar to Kaz that it didn’t bring anxiety but much better feelings associated with all the new memories they had made here.
“It’ll be great, don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried,” Kaz said. “I get why celebrating birthdays or Christmas, even though I don’t like it…”
“You love it.”
“… and I don’t see why we have to celebrate this.”
“Because it’s a huge day, you know.”
A year since his name had been cleared, a year since he had left the courthouse without his trial even starting. A year where he could start building and living his own life again without the fear that one day someone would lock him in Hellgate and throw away the key. Of course it was Jesper’s idea to have this crazy party. As if they didn’t have too many other opportunities to throw a party during the year with every month being occupied by someone’s birthday. They already saw each other too often for his liking.
When Inej parked in the back of the house by the barn, Kaz took Bea out of her car seat and Inej fixed her ponytail, which was a bit messy from the long travel. Bea was wearing a yellow dress that Nina had bought her and she looked like a chick. Eira was supposed to wear the same and Kaz soon found out that she was when something small hit his legs and wrapped her small arms around them.
“Uncle Kaz!” Eira cried out.
Kaz put Bea on the ground next to him and ruffled Eira’s blonde hair. Although Eira resembled her father a lot, luckily, she didn’t look like a little Matthias in a girl’s dress.
“How are you, little chicken?” Kaz asked her.
He still wasn’t sure why this girl wasn’t intimidated by him, but it was probably because her mother was the only one who was never afraid to voice any opinion in front of him, even on very sensitive topics. However, Eira even seemed to like him and very often requested his presence during her games, which always made Jesper laugh.
“Bea is here!”
This time it was Lada, whose deep auburn hair was tied in a bun. She wasn’t wearing a dress like the younger girls, but black trousers and a t-shirt with a maths equation printed on it.
“Uncle Kaz, Aunt Inej, can Bea play with us?” Lada asked with hope in her voice, and when she got permission, she smiled, taking Bea by one hand, Eira by the other and slowly led them into the garden.
Kaz watched them with concern as he always did since the day when Bea had started walking not a long ago. She was a quick learner. Maybe too quick. One day she still had been stumbling and needed to hold on to the furniture, and the next day she had already been running around as if walking was too boring for her. Kaz suspected that climbing would be the next stage, and he was already terrified.
“Come, we’ll watch over them, or you’ll be stressed for the rest of the day,” Inej nudged him gently, entwining their fingers.
“Lada is too young to be a babysitter,” Kaz objected.
He couldn’t deny that Lada was very good with smaller children and the age difference between them didn’t bother her at all. She always came up with games they loved and kept them entertained.
“Oh, I wish we had some adults around to watch over them,” Inej laughed.
Kaz looked around at their guests and saw Nikolai, David and Wylan engrossed in conversation. Marya was showing something on her phone to the Ghafas. Alina and Mal, who had gotten married a month ago and had just returned from a very long honeymoon, were talking to Madeleine and Anika, and there were others as well. Nina was just trying to convince Even to spit out the sand he stuffed in his mouth while playing in the sandpit.
“Kaz, I saw you on the news yesterday,” Colm stopped by them. “A great success, congratulations.”
“Thank you, Colm. I’m really glad that the centre is finally open.”
Colm patted him on the back. “I’m so proud of you.”
Yesterday, Kaz’s community centre for street children in the Barrel, the one he had planned for more than a year, opened to anyone who wanted a place to stay and get an education without being put back into the system that would send them to an orphanage or foster care. Too many of them had already run away from there at least once, and forcing them to go back would be the worst option. It hadn’t been easy to make his plan work. Not that anyone hadn’t been interested, but the Merchant Council had been unwilling to cooperate at first, claiming that these children should be placed where the system wanted them. Kaz had to convince every single member of the Merchant Council for his project to be legalised. Meanwhile, he had searched for a suitable building in the Barrel, and when he had finally found it, he had paid a fortune for it, but it was worth it. The renovation had taken months, but despite the fact that it all seemed endless, it was now complete.
Kaz didn’t know what to say to Colm, as he was still trying to process that had finally happened after so long, but Jesper was already at his side with a lot of things to tell him, apparently oblivious to the fact that the last time they had seen each other was the day before.
“You promised me you’d tell me who was spreading all the rumours about Pekka Rollins,” Jesper reminded him. “His businesses don’t seem to be doing great lately and it’s only getting worse.”
Kaz turned his head to see his lovely, brave and smart wife chatting with Zoya who was still part of the dance studio even though Inej had started working again a few months after Kaz’s trial had been cancelled. He had really gotten what she had done in Ketterdam before his trial from her, but it had taken him a long time and Inej had bargained very hard.
“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me,” he smirked.
“That doesn’t mean you can keep it a secret,” Jesper objected.
“Leave him alone,” Nikolai put his arm around Jesper’s shoulders. “Who cares when it obviously works? So Kaz, where’s your stash of whiskey hidden? I’m sure you have some very good bottles.”
“We’ll get to that point, so why the rush?” Kaz asked suspiciously.
Nikolai seemed in an extremely good mood. He had had a rough few months as he had made some enemies when he had tried to help Kaz. Some of them might be gone, but they couldn’t be sure if all of them were.
“I have something to celebrate,” Nikolai smiled broadly.
Kaz followed the direction of his gaze and saw Zoya in the company of Inej and Genya, all three of them looking very excited. Kaz’s lips turned up in a knowing smirk.
“Seems like I should congratulate you.”
Nikolai held out his hand, but Kaz pulled him closer for a brief hug that took Nikolai completely by surprise.
“Come on, Kaz, don’t make me cry,” Nikolai said, nudging Kaz playfully.
“What’s going on?” Jesper asked, looking from one to the other. “Is anyone dying?”
Kaz rolled his eyes. “Quite the opposite, you idiot. Baby Lantsov is on the way.”
“More Nazyalensky Lantsov, I guess,” Nikolai corrected him.
“Oh, more children to play with Uncle Jesper!” Jesper cried out excitedly. “Oh, I promised Lada to be their model. Sorry guys, duty calls.”
He hurried away and very soon he was sitting in a chair while Lada applied his eyeshadows while giving a whole lecture to the little girls about make-up. Kaz was sure that both Eira and Bea didn’t understand a thing, but they were still very excited about the bright colours around Uncle Jesper’s eyes.
“I’ll get you whiskey, Nikolai, and I’m not even asking for the baby to be named after me,” Kaz smirked.
He knew how big it was for Nikolai and Zoya to get to this point after years of struggle and loss. He didn’t need to know all the details, Inej had never told him about her long conversation with Zoya about the problems getting pregnant, and he had never asked. However, he knew one thing, that these two would be excellent parents and their baby would be the happiest in the world. Except for Bea, of course.
“Da!”
Kaz turned to see his baby girl running towards him in her usual wobbly way as her legs weren’t cooperating that well yet. “Da” was her first word and Inej who had claimed it would be “Mama” lost the bet. She was still convinced that Kaz had only won by cheating, which might be true, but if someone asked him if he had whispered the word “Da” over and over again in Bea’s ear while she slept, he would deny it. Anyway, Inej had paid off her bet by dancing for him scantily dressed (or not at all, in truth) and Bea had gotten a good amount of kruge on her account, so everyone was satisfied.
Kaz lifted Bea into his arms and she planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Do you want something to eat my little treasure?”
Bea nodded and wrapped her small arms around Kaz’s neck.
“Okay, I’ll find you something. And something for your Mama too.”
On his way to the table, he had to jump over Even, who tried to run away with a piece of cake he had stolen from the table while Matthias chased him, claiming he was too young for it and he had a perfectly healthy banana for him.
It was a very chaotic and noisy afternoon, but Kaz wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.