Chapter Text
[The Tortured Corvid Department]
coolest privateer: @Boss your friend has a problem
Boss: I don't have friends.
knife wife: :(
Boss: Oh, look. There is my friend.
Boss: Inej, what is your problem?
coolest privateer: fine your brother has a problem
bangbangbi: just say jesper saints
coolest privateer: ok jesper saints has a problem
Boss: Is he impersonating Alina Starkov?
coolest privateer: BLOCKING EVERYONE IN THE CHAT
coolest privateer: look what he brought to rehearsal.
coolest privateer: Attachment: 1 Image
bangbangbi: milo has a brother :(
coolest privateer: MILO DID NOT NEED A BROTHER BADLY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BE LATE TO REHEARSAL
Boss: He was late?
bangbangbi: by like ten minutes
coolest privateer: it was not ten
bangbangbi: fine twenty
coolest privateer: have you looked at a clock??
bangbangbi: FINE IT WAS FORTY FIVE MINUTES
coolest privateer: …
bangbangbi: two and a half hours isn't that much longer than ten minutes
Boss: What were you doing?
Boss: Do I want to know?
[Jazhands]
jes: wylan locked me out
jes: he says it was by accident but man is Petty so idk
Kazzle Dazzle: Congratulations.
jes: no not congratulations
jes: wylan being petty is not congratulations
[bicons]
king: hypothetically
king: how likely would it be for wylan to take my comment about none of the rest of us having partners personally
queen: we're talking about the same person, right?
queen: Very.
king: fucking damn it
queen: dw he might get over it
king: he will?
queen: in about seventeen decades
king: unhelpful
queen: i know
queen: also if you weren't with wylan where were you
king: i may or may not have hit cloud cumulus on the way to rehearsal
queen: you didn't
king: milo has a brother :)
queen: idiot
queen: how much of the pay from the museum job did you squander
king: only all of it
king: shhhhhh
queen: you have a problem ❤️
king: i knowwwwwww
[The Tortured Corvid Department]
bangbangbi: my da arrives in two days
bangbangbi: kmn
merchling: My sister wants me to take her to the Barrel
merchling: Someone sane in this chat give me good reasons to feed her as to why it's a bad idea
bangbangbi: WAYJAY
coolest privateer: tell her it's boring here
Cultist: ah yes the notorious Boring Barrel
coolest privateer: i mean..
Cultist: day one of road trip is today
Cultist: why did i choose to do this :(
knife wife: because gas is way cheaper than plane tickets
Cultist: i could be eating shitty peanuts
knife wife: and instead you get time with your lovely boyfriend
Cultist: :((((
knife wife: :))))
bangbangbi: i expect updates, zenik
bangbangbi: until you're back in town
Cultist:
Dearest Jesper Llewellyn Fahey,
Day One. The Darkling is wearing the same shades of black that Kaz pulls off marginally better. Matthias is a pain in the ass, a thorn in my side, and a hundred shades of wonderful.
Sincerely,
Your Best and Dearest Friend,
Nina Zenik
Cultist: ^what i'd send when i got to the conference
bangbangbi: sobbing
coolest privateer: the only compliment from nina zenik kaz will ever get 💀
Boss: Good.
coolest privateer: goodbye, Nina. enjoy your trip
coolest privateer: and tell Matthias i said drive safe
Cultist: will do
[Jazhands]
jes: you're going to shows right
jes: with da?
Kazzle Dazzle: Yes.
jes: yay!
Kazzle Dazzle: However, if they are terrible due to you missing half of your rehearsals because you're back at the tables, I will not hesitate to tell him why.
jes: you have a death wish for me
Kazzle Dazzle: Maybe so.
jes: 😭
[escape artists]
Nikolai: do you want coffee after rehearsal? i'm going to stop at the shop
Kaz: Yes.
[The Tortured Corvid Department]
bangbangbi: i need coffee money
merchling: Ask Milo's brother
bangbangbi: why the fuck would a goat have money
merchling: he's more likely to hold onto it even without thumbs than you are, evidently
[theater kids]
galinda: scratch coffee money can i have money for chocolate, raspberries, and flowers
elphaba: ??
galinda: i owe wylan an apology, i think
elphaba: CONGRATULATIONS FOR NOTICING
galinda: i'll fight you
elphaba: what is this apology supposed to accomplish?
galinda: making him not hate me?
elphaba: what about your behavior are you intending to change?
galinda: i don't know?? but he's mad and it's my fault
elphaba: was the comment inaccurate?
galinda: not exactly
elphaba: are you intending to ask him to be your partner?
galinda: hell no
galinda: show season relationships, my friend
elphaba: he's not in the show though
galinda: nor was alexei
elphaba: i don't know if you've noticed but wylan is not alexei
galinda: i know
galinda: but still
elphaba: and alexei was on the crew which basically counts
galinda: i know
elphaba: so basically there is no comparison, except that while alexei wanted nothing to do with you except fuck and hang out backstage when you wanted more, wylan wants more now while you're pulling back
galinda: i guess
elphaba: so
elphaba: if you want to
elphaba: get the man, babe
galinda: i don't know
elphaba: you could at least talk to him
galinda: i will
elphaba: good
[my chemical romance]
flute: can i come by please after rehearsal
flute blower: yes
flute: slay
[The Tortured Corvid Department]
Cultist: entertain me i'm bored
knife wife: they're all busy
knife wife: Kaz and Nikolai are having coffee and Wylan and Jesper are doing something
Cultist: what are you up to?
knife wife: on the phone with Zoya
knife wife: she's about to leave for the airport though
Cultist: SO I GET YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
knife wife: soon :)
knife wife: will you want to call? or not distract Matthias?
Cultist: we can call and i'll put it on speaker so he can contribute
Cultist: unless you'd rather just text
knife wife: he can say hi to Trassel, i'm watching him while Nikolai's at rehearsal all the time
Cultist: matty says if zoya doesn't do it he'll marry you
knife wife: awwww