Chapter Text
The Evans bunch were a family that argued amongst themselves often, although quiet about it. There was only one thing everyone in the house could agree on, and that was the late night talk show, Crazy Lady. It aired every Thursday night, and every guest interviewed was always someone involved in whatever was trending that year. It was mostly aimed towards teenage girls, but people of any age found themselves watching it.
"Just in time, Arnold," Doris quipped, "I see you got your beer."
"You missed the first half, dad." smirked Petunia.
"I hear you, I hear you," he said, making himself comfortable on the couch. "Shh, it's starting."
"Welcome back to the Crazy Lady show! I'm your host, Celene Sawyer, for anyone at home who missed out on the first half. For our next guest, I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to Severus Snape!"
The crowd cheered. Severus walked onto the stage, trying his best to appear neutral, but failing to do so as he shyly made his way to a seat.
"Is that who I think it is?" said Petunia. She looked at both her parents, who both stared at the t.v speechless.
"It's lovely to meet you, Severus."
"Thank you for having me, miss Sawyer."
"So Severus, you're one of Britain's new upcoming actors," when Severus nodded, she kept going, "This year you worked in two films, and they both were released into cinemas around the same time. Teens to Fathom and The Dungeon Bat. Which one was your favourite?" she asked, leaning at the edge of her seat.
Severus thought about it, "I'd say Teens to Fathom-"
The crowd cheered, startling Severus a bit.
"What was it like working with the director," she corrected herself, "Jonathan Crafter?"
Severus felt himself grin with his teeth, This was an interesting film, because Jonathan, he was looking for authentic, real people-"
"Whatever that means," she scoffed humorously.
Severus didn't know how to react, but he proceeded. "Yeah, and I told him that I knew some people, and introduced him to Garrett, Hopkins and Ruby. Garrett ended up being a co-director, and even did some camera work. Ruby and Hopkins did a great job coaching the other actors-"
She cut in, "And you worked with these people before, right? It was some random film you guys made, like a home video."
Severus started to grin a bit more, "It was great working with them again."
"Is there anything you can share about Ruby and Hopkins?"
"Um," Severus paused, his eyes darting around. "I can't speak for them, but I'm pretty sure they're not interested in acting. Ruby, she's into set design, and has an eye for appearance and the like. As for Hopkins, I remember him expressing interest in doing special effects stuff, like the extreme makeup stuff-"
"Is Hopkins his actual name?" she asked.
Startled, Severus stared at her, trying to gather his thoughts together. "Yes, Hopkins is his real name. Hopkins Forest."
"Can you explain what Teens to Fathom was about?"
"Teens to Fathom is about a group of teenagers who celebrate their graduation by going on a camping trip, which is an excuse to do some drinking and stuff. We were playing a group of teenagers who are arseholes, and they would make things harder for the adults around them, whether it's intentional or unintentional."
"Why did the janitor attack them?"
Severus shrugged at her, "I can explain my interpretation."
There were a few claps from the audience, encouraging him to go on. He sent them an appreciative glance.
"I saw the janitor as a man who snapped. A huge chunk of his life went to tending to the school, and working at a job where he's looked down on. The biggest amount of disrespect he receives is from these teenagers, right. Now that schools out, he has to find something to do for the summer, and works at a camp site. Low and behold, these kids show up and do the same old. They drive him insane, and cause a mess left and right. I don't think he was justified in what he did, it's pretty despicable, actually. However, I see his circumstance as a cautionary tale."
Some audience members clapped in understanding.
Celene nodded slowly, and quickly summoned her energetic eagerness. "Let's talk about the Dungeon Bat. I hear you had a good time with Alison Sommers, and Morgan Michaelson. What was it like playing Jared?"
Severus thought deeply about this question before answering, "Playing Jared was all about letting some anger out, as I found myself confiding in this character. I'd also say it was a chance to just dress as loose as I wanted. I grew up wearing baggy and mismatched clothes, and that's very much Jared's wardrobe. He'll wear anything he likes, and I don't think he cares about what he wears thanks to the mindset he was turned in. And that was not caring about the opinions of strangers."
Celene tilted her head, looking for something. "Is there any backstage drama you got in the back of your mind?"
At first I didn't want to play Jared because I thought I would look ridiculous, but my agent convinced me otherwise. The only complaint I would have is the red contact lenses. It was my first time wearing contacts in general, but I do not look forward to wearing any again. Morgan..." he paused with an awkward smile. The crowd started giggling as they waited.
"Well?"
Severus chuckled, "He was kind of strict. He's a perfectionist, so when it came to our scenes together he wanted them to look genuine. Even though there weren't a lot of them, he wanted to get that all in one take. He understood his character a lot. He plays Jared's sire, which can be anything, but the bond that they have is technically adoption, but he's a distant father due to circumstance. One way he would prepare himself is by sending me a list of my chores to do, just letting himself get used to being bossy and responsible." Severus went rosy in the face as he thought about it.
"What was it like with Alison and Eric? What were they like?"
"They were great to work with. Alison was super friendly, and me and Eric got along well. What's amazing about Eric is that he was super shy and had this soft voice that put you to sleep, and not in a bad way. But as soon as we started filming his entire personality just shifted," Severus smiled, "He's so good at playing an arsehole, I gotta say."
The crows wooed as if to support this claim.