Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything about the exhibit was amazingly spot-on. While Marcy squealed at how cute all the amphibians were, especially the newts, of course, Sasha took in the whole exhibit. From the replication of the Plantars’ home in the South American Tree Frog tank to the sculpture of Toad’s Tower in the Common Toad section to the addition of a couple of small snail tanks scattered throughout. It was just perfect.

Sasha was so proud of Anne. She wished she and Marcy could have come to see the new exhibit on its opening day, but Marcy’s schedule just didn’t line up right. Sure, Sasha could’ve gone to see Anne by herself, but…. It felt better just having Marcy here. And it felt right to have the three of them reunite today.

After the grand tour of the rest of the museum, they went out for drinks. Today, Sasha would chill with a watermelon vodka soda, Anne a blue raspberry lemonade, and Marcy a nitro matcha cold brew. They’d caught up more thoroughly on each other’s lives, way more extensively than when Sasha had stayed at Anne’s apartment years prior, too.

“Your web comic has over a million views?!” Anne said. “I’d say that’s doing more than just ‘pretty good,’ Mars.”

“Aww, well, thanks,” Marcy said. “It’s no big deal, really. But I am glad that people love it! I just can’t wait until I publish the chapter where–!”

“Whoa, spoilers!” Sasha said. “If me and Anne want to know what happens, we’re gonna keep reading it and wait patiently like everyone else, right Anne?”

“Right! We’re excited for you Marcy, really. I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

“Ditto.”

And after taking a cute photo together, Anne received a text from her mom, who was seeking last-minute help at the restaurant. Apparently, the business was doing better than ever. Anne being Anne, she immediately agreed to help and promised she’d rejoin with Sasha and Marcy once Thai Go closed up.

So once Sasha was alone with Marcy in the car after dropping Anne off, she didn’t hesitate to press on the topic.

“Sashy…” Marcy said just a few seconds after Anne hopped out the door. She had this look on her face like she was scheming, the biggest smirk painted on. Oh, frog, what was it?

“Hey there, Mar Mar,” Sasha said, all too wary of what was going on inside her friend’s head. “What are you–?”

“Oh just admit it, Sash. You still like Anne!”

Sasha blinked a couple of times, processing what was just said, suddenly reminiscing on all the years past. She felt her cheeks warm up. No no. No. No. Say something. She had to say something.

“Mars, that was like…forever ago. I don’t like Anne. Not like that .”

“Okay, no. Just listen,” Marcy said, putting a hand on Sasha’s shoulder. “You are so obvious. You and Anne haven’t seen each other in forever , but the moment you two saw each other in the museum? O-M-G, it was like straight out of my favorite shoujo anime.”

“I think you’re exaggerating the truth here.” Sasha did one of those weird nervous laughs. “Anne was excited to see the both of us!”

“Oh, I know she was excited to see us, but you don’t see what I see, Sashy. I know .”

“No offense, but I don’t think you can claim you know just because you’ve binged-watched a bunch of rom-com animes.”

“No, of course not. Although, it does help. What I’m sure of though is that yes, Anne is one of my best friends, as are you. But when I see both of you together, there’s just that little bit of extra something there! Like you want more. If you were given the chance, wouldn’t you take it?”

“Marcy, I don’t–” Sasha sighed. This really wasn’t something she wanted to be thinking, much less talking about, but here she was. “I don’t want this to break my heart more than it already has. I am just so done with dating.” Dating for now at least. Sasha felt like she had exhausted so much of her heart over the past ten years, jumping from person to person and trying to feel the same things she did with her frog-loving best friend.

“What if it doesn’t? What if it does the opposite?”

“And what is the opposite of a broken heart exactly? A totally normal one.”

“Not quite. I was thinking more like what if it’s a heart that will be brought back to life?”

Sasha paused and furrowed an eyebrow. “Mars?”

“What?”

“Are you really quoting War of the Warlocks 5 right now?”

“What–!” Marcy put a hand on her chest and feigned guilt with an obvious smile. “I would never!”

Sasha laughed. “Sure, Mars, sure.”

“Just think on it, okay?”

“No promises, Mars.”

And that was that. Sasha drove them to the hotel with nothing but the radio playing in the background, trying to push this conversation to the back of her brain.

She didn’t want to waste her time thinking about it. Because was it really worth wishing for something that seemed so unreachable, impossible?

Of course she knew it would be nice to have someone like that. Someone she could really call her partner. A want as simple as that, one would think, shouldn’t be so difficult to obtain, but the conversations Sasha has had with her clients followed up by her own experiences were more than enough to state otherwise. Love, relationships, dating– it was no easy thing, as much as she wanted it to be. Maybe if it was, she would already be in the perfect relationship with the perfect person. But she wasn’t. And it was unrealistic to think that it would all come so easily.

It wasn’t supposed to be easy.

Once in her hotel room, lying on her hotel bed, Sasha pulled out her copy of the Polaroid picture the three of them took earlier that day. They all looked so happy to be back together. From what she knew, it was hard to keep in touch with friends from high school, much less middle school these days. But maybe they had an advantage from bonding over being stuck in another dimension for many months. Sasha looked at Anne’s smile in the picture. She loved that smile. And back then, she always wanted to be the reason behind that smile.

Maybe she still wanted that now.

Ugh.

It didn’t quite hit Sasha like a wake-up slap in the face; it was more like a coming-to, when you’re just waking up on a Sunday morning because just enough sunlight has crept through the curtains, feeling well-rested and ready to face a new day.

And ready to face this: Sasha Waybright had a thing for Anne Boonchuy, and still does. Childhood best friend, ex-hater of amphibians and now herpetologist, lightweight drinker, an all-around kind and sweet and courageous and strong and gorgeous person.

As kids, there was always something more with Anne that Sasha couldn’t quite feel with Marcy. Maybe she clicked with Anne better, liked Anne as a friend better, wanted to be more like Anne. That last point was partially true, but Sasha couldn’t a hundred percent agree with the first two sentiments when she had adorable Marcy by her side. How she felt about the two of them separately were just different.

It was pretty stupid, actually. Constantly going from ‘yes I do have feelings’ to ‘no we’re just friends’ over the years. And this constant back and forth, never really being able to commit. It made Sasha feel like a coward. Grime would be ashamed at how non-confrontational she was with this. He would tell her to run head-first into this battle, for lack of a better word, and face the truth. But even when Sasha did think ‘yes I do have feelings’, any time she tried making a move, it felt like the universe would do anything in its power to keep it from happening. She would call it fate, destiny, a sign, but no. Sasha knew all along that it was cowardice.

“Frogdammit,” Sasha said to herself. She tucked the photo back into her skirt pocket and found Marcy picking out some sodas from the vending machine. “Alright, Marcy,” Sasha finally said as she approached her friend. “You win. I…may still have some feelings for Anne.”

Marcy smiled, putting a hand on Sash’s shoulder. “I know. Now, what are you gonna do about it? Also, what kind of soda you want?”

A silence. Do about it? Well, what could be done? Could it be as simple as asking her to grab breakfast or dinner or just straight up admitting that she’s had a bit of an on and off but more on than off crush since they were like thirteen? It seemed so silly to be pondering on this literally ten years later. More importantly, how did she even know if Anne returned those feelings? After all these years?

“Diet Pepsi for me, thanks.”

“One diet Pepsi coming right up!” Marcy swiped her card and in a few seconds, a plastic bottle dropped to the bottom of the vending machine and grabbed it for Sasha. But just as she was about to hand it over, she pulled back and said, “You can only have it if you go by yourself to pick up Anne later. And. Do. Something.”

Sasha raised an eyebrow. “I think I’ll pass on the Pepsi then.”

“Agh, no wait, Sasha!” Marcy grabbed onto her wrist as she started heading back to her room.

“Mars, why are you so insistent on this? You were never this insistent when we were in school.”

“Listen,” Marcy said. “I do technically have some work to do tonight but maybe look at this way. You are the fearless Sasha Waybright who never gives up or backs down! Now when was the last time you were at Thai Go?”

Sasha knew exactly what Marcy was trying to do. “Ugh. You know we’re both thinking the same thing.” The failed attempt at a promposal.

“I know. And I know it was hard then and it might be hard now. But I know for a fact Anne isn’t seeing anyone and now you can rewrite the story of what happened there! You don’t need a dance as a reason to ask her out or back out of it. Just do it.”

“Y’know, you have a lot to say for someone who’s only dated people very sparingly.”

“And I like to think I’ve learned quite a bit from those few dates.”

“And that makes you a certified love whisperer?”

“Yes. It does. So now, little grasshopper–”

“I’m taller than you!” Sasha interjected.

“No matter. Sasha, do you intend to break your heart by doing nothing or bring it back to life by not backing down?”

“ Please stop quoting that movie; it’s not even the best one!”

Sasha felt her phone vibrate in her pocket while Marcy’s ringtone went off. They both took out their phones and found Anne texted in their group chat.

The Girls 💙💚

I’M FREEEEEEEEE!!!!! 🤩🥳✨

Are you sure you guys are okay picking me up?

I can take an uber over there!

Anne💙 9:03 pm

Sasha looked over at Marcy but she was already typing and was too late to object.

I have to do some work but Sash will be on her way!!! She’ll be there asap!!!

Mar Mar 💚 9:04 pm

Oh cool! You sure about that Sash?

Anne💙 9:04 pm

“You’ll thank me later!” Marcy said, not giving Sasha a chance to react. “Now go!”

“I–” Sasha wasn’t sure what to say. But she was just picking up Anne right? That was all.

Def sure! Omw!

Sasha🩷 9:06 pm

My hero 🥰💙💙💙

Anne💙 9:06 pm

Hypothetically, if Sasha was gonna do anything, was she really gonna do it on the fly? Just like that. She honestly preferred having a plan. She had a plan for the last time she was at this restaurant, but then again, the plan didn’t go according to… well, the plan. Maybe she was going about this all wrong? But even if that was the case, how would she go about it the right way?

She had zoned out near most of the ride to Thai Go but as she was approaching that familiar street, she spotted someone with that red bandana tied around her head. Anne Boonchuy, standing and waiting patiently for her. Sasha saw Anne smile at her as she pulled up and, frog , that smile. Sasha could feel her pulse speed up in that moment.

“Hey you!” Sasha said once she rolled down the window. “How was your shift?”

“Oof,” Anne said as she got into the car. “Busy. Relieved it's over.”

“Yeah I bet.”

“But I’m glad to see that the restaurant is doing super well too.”

Sasha didn’t say anything to that. Was this the part where Sasha was supposed to “do something” like Marcy said? Like, it was clear that Anne was super exhausted from working. Throwing something like this at her way didn’t feel…right... She saw faint sweat beads on her temples and the soy sauce stains on her white shirt in the dark of the night. Surely this wasn’t the best time.

So for a minute, they sat there like neither of them knew how to act without Marcy around. “Hey Sash? Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Aren’t we kinda already doing that?”

“Right,” Anne said, looking away. “I meant, uh, like, about something. Something important.”

Sasha narrowed her eyes, concerned. “Yeah, of course. What’s up? Should I, like, call in Marcy in or–”

“NO,” Anne exclaimed. “I mean, no. That’s okay. It’s something I wanted to talk to just you about.”

“Oh. Okay.” What could be important that only Anne wanted to talk to Sasha about it? And right now in the car? Without Marcy? After a long dinner shift? Sure, Sasha was a therapist, but that didn’t automatically make her an expert in all aspects of life. Not to mention that she primarily worked with children, which as hard as it was to believe these days, she and Anne certainly weren’t anymore.

“I, uh–okay wow, this was a lot easier in my head.”

Ten years prior, Sasha’s instinct would have been to tell Anne to hurry it up. But this was now. And with the look she saw on her face, she just knew something was bothering her. This couldn’t be good. Was she moving? Was she dying (again)? “It’s okay. Take your time.”

Sasha did her best to maintain the appropriate amount of eye contact with Anne. Usually in therapy, this came a lot more naturally as her patients vented to her about their various problems or even when they met her with silence, clearly forced to a session by a parent or guardian. Now? She wasn’t sure when and where to look away, even just briefly.

Anne took a deep breath. “It’s, uh, it’s kind of stupid. I’m not even sure why I’m asking when I probably know what the answer will be but, uh…”

“Anne whatever it is, I’m here for you and I’m sure that it’s not stupid. What is it?”

“You remember back in middle school and even with everything that happened in Amphibia how close we were, right?” Sasha nodded, letting Anne continue. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t figure it out until later, but I think…I may have had a thing for you back then.”

Sasha blinked. Hold on a second–

“And maybe for a bit in high school too?” Anne continued. “I mean, I know we sorta drifted apart a bit, and you had your friends and I had my friends and my friends weren’t friends with your friends and it’s just–ugh. Okay. The point is, seeing you again. Here. Today. I don’t know what it is but…”

This wasn’t bad after all. Sasha knew what was coming despite being in a little bit of disbelief. “But what?”

Anne took a deep breath, then said, “Do you want to go out with me?”

Silence. For a moment, Sasha wasn’t sure if she even heard that right.

“Oh frog this was a bad idea wasn’t it?” Anne said. “You know what, forget I even–”

Sasha reached across the middle of the car and pulled Anne into a hug immediately. “Boonchuy, you have no idea how many times I’ve chickened out from asking you that myself.” And Sasha feels Anne’s arms wrap around her. When she pulled back, she said, “I mean, I kinda had a thing for you too. If that wasn’t obvious enough. Heh.”

“So… is that a yes?” Anne asked. “To going out I mean?”

Sasha breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah. Yeah absolutely.”

Holy mother frog-er. It all happened so fast and now Sasha suddenly was going to go on a date with Anne? Just like that? She felt giddy like she was just transported back to middle school when all these feelings for girls were still new. 

“Frog, that’s a relief,” Anne said. “But just out of curiosity how long did you…?”

“How long did I also have a thing for you?” Sasha laughed. “Like, years .”

“Years?! Years as in like more than one?!”

“Years as in like about ten or so.” And then Sasha rested her hands against Anne’s. “No matter where we were or what we were doing, you were always the brave one. Makes sense that you’d be brave enough to make the first move, too.”

“You seem to forget that you encourage me to– well, have the courage to do anything.”

Sasha looked away for a second, failing to hide the warmth creeping up into her face even in the dimness of the car. “I guess I can take that compliment.” And then she thought of something.

“Hey Anne?” Sasha said. She held a hand to Anne’s face and started leaning in closer. She stopped for a moment to see if on the off chance Anne didn’t want this after all, but then she saw Anne lean in too. So Sasha closed the gap and pressed her lips against hers. Sasha heard a “mmph” as Anne leaned into her, lips clumsy and awkward at first but not stopping. 

Sasha couldn’t believe this was happening. This was not the first time she’d kissed anyone, but it sure did feel like it. It was so shockingly tense with surprise, then settling into a comfortable warmth, a hand in Anne’s curls, the car space between them filled with spearmint scents and quick breaths.

Sasha pulled back. “You know, as much as I already love doing this, it’s kinda uncomfortable reaching over from the driver’s seat.”

Anne chuckled. “Maybe we should head back?”

“Yeah, yeah. Probably a good idea.”

As they drove back to the hotel, Sasha could feel the giddiness building up inside. First of all, she was going out with Anne Boonchuy. The Anne Boonchuy! Holy Toadledo! And second, frog, she couldn’t help but replay that kiss over and over and over. It was probably one of the best, actually probably the best kiss she’d ever had. Did that even actually happen?

It all felt so exciting and yet such a relief too, like nothing she had expected. Like she had found her person. And she hoped that her person felt that way about her too. Hopefully her person was the one sitting next to her in the car.

But still there was something in the back of her mind that voiced something like.…  Well, did it really matter? She had what she wanted, right?

Once they were near Marcy’s room at the hotel, Sasha’s hand brushed against Anne’s. Sasha hesitated to reach for it, but at the last second pulled away. She didn’t know why she felt so shy all of a sudden as if they weren’t making out minutes prior.

“Hey,” Anne said, stopping. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, great actually,” Sasha said. She smiled, but it wasn’t one with her whole heart. She just kept on walking to Marcy’s room, stopping just right in front of it about to open it.

“Are you sure? Are we going too fast already?” Anne grabbed onto her wrist and Sasha turned back around, clearly seeing a look of worry on her friend’s– well, girlfriend’s? No, date’s face? Whatever.

“Yeah,” Sasha said, then realized how that may have sounded. “No, I mean. I mean yes I’m sure, no we’re not going too fast.” Sasha sighed. Shouldn’t things be all happy and go-lucky now? Why didn’t she feel totally satisfied with it all yet? One of the best things just happened but there was still this uncomfortable feeling she couldn’t shake off.

Suddenly, the door opened, startling them both as they jumped apart from each other. Marcy pulled them both into her room without a word, then paused.

Sasha watched Marcy look between her and Anne standing next to each other for a few seconds. Sasha didn’t dare to look at Anne in fear of what was happening. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds until–

“NO WAY, YOU GUYS ARE GOING OUT NOW?!” Marcy swiftly came in for a hug, tightly squeezing Anne and Sasha in her arms. “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!” 

Sasha felt her face turn red again, almost embarrassed that she was right about making a move. But more importantly, Sasha said, “Wait, how did you already know–”

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG YOU’VE BEEN CRUSHING ON EACH OTHER,” Marcy continued, collapsing on the bed. “IT WAS KILLING ME NOT TO SAY ANYTHING.”

“Wait what?” Sasha and Anne said simultaneously.

“It was so back and forth over the years, Sashy texts me she wants to ask Anne out, Anne tells me she misses Sash, and it’s like hellooooo? What about me? I’m the one all the way over here in Massachusetts! But no hard feelings. Because alas the slow burn has finally come to an end and my two girls are together!” Marcy continued to squeal.

“So what I'm hearing is…” Sasha said, looking over to Anne.

Anne continued, “You knew our feelings were mutual…”

“And you didn’t tell us?!” Sasha finished. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to meddle too much!” Marcy said. “The beauty of a slow burn is that it is slowwww . But now you can tell me all about the clearly magical moment that happened between you two. And what this weird tension going on right now is all about.”

“MARCY!”

Later on that night during the hours of a hotel that was no longer bustling with tourists and business people, it was dim and quiet. Sasha made her way to the rooftop balcony, where one would think there would be a romantic overview of the Los Angeles skyline, but really just showcased the parking lot full of cars below. She leaned against the glass railing, unsure of what she wanted to do here.

She just couldn’t sleep. It was like today wasn’t even real. She wasn’t sure if her thirteen-year-old self would be more thrilled, embarrassed, or shy that it took this long for her and Anne to get together. She supposed that her thirteen-year-old self probably wouldn’t have ever considered it a possibility. Yet here it was, it had happened. Anne and Sasha were set to get dinner the next day, reluctantly without Marcy but she insisted in the name of “Sashanne.” And even though Sasha had hung around with Anne so many times before throughout the years, she was unsure of how to move forward. In the movies, she never understood why friends found it so difficult to make the transition from friends to more, and why that conflict was such a big plot point in a film, but now she understood. 

An unknown future regardless of the people you’re facing it with is still a terrifying one. A lot can change over time and over the past ten years a lot has already changed. How will it go from here? Was it safe to assume that dating her best friend will always be uphill from here? In her relationships past, experienced and observed, from ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends and the parents she sometimes forgot she once had, everything can change on a whim. What’s to say that it wouldn’t happen again?

“Hey,” someone behind Sasha said. And once she heard that word, she already knew who it was.

“Boonchuy,” she said without turning around. “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep, dude.” Anne came over with her hands tucked into her sweater pockets before leaning against the railing like Sasha had, mimicking her pose. “Looks like you couldn’t either?”

Sasha sighed. “I think I’m just nervous.”

“About what?”

“About…us. I guess.”

“Oh.” A beat of silence passed by before Anne asked, “Mind me asking why?”

Sasha hesitated but after a few beats said, “You heard what Marcy said. I’ve had these feelings for you for, like, ever, and…. I just don’t want to mess this up. Not to mention I spent so much of my life trying to control what I could and running from what I couldn’t or what I was afraid of trying to tackle. How do I know I won’t run or totally fuck this up with you? And if I do, if this doesn’t work, if we can’t be friends anymore, then what?”

Anne didn’t say anything for a moment. Sasha peaked to see her looking out into the view of the parking lot–still very romantic–and then turned back and looked into Sasha’s eyes. “You know, Marcy told me a while ago. About high school. About prom. About you wanting to ask me?” Sasha sighed, not so embarrassed as much as resentful. Not towards Anne or the girl who got to her first, but herself. 

Anne continued. “She told me how you were going to ask me to prom and how you got what sounds like the most adorable frog plushie and the only thing that really stopped you was me already having a date.”

“High school was…a long time ago,” Sasha said. It was true. But she remembered that day so clearly: coming home feeling defeated, asking Marcy if they could chat over FaceTime, and Sasha laying out every detail about her feelings for Anne and how they had been so out of touch even after everything they had been through and that it probably was too late to fix things. It was a long time ago. Of course, Marcy being the optimist, denied that as the case.

“Yeah. It was a long time ago. That doesn’t mean that we can’t talk about what happened back then. And if it still bothers you.”

“No, no,” Sasha quickly denied. “It doesn’t bother me. It, just, when I left Thai Go that day I felt so so stupid and ashamed and that this was some weird cruel sign from the universe or a stupid cat deity that this wasn’t and isn’t supposed to happen.”

“It was bad timing, Sash. You didn't know. I didn’t know. We were kids and everything is different now.” When Sasha didn’t say anything, Anne added, “For the record, I would’ve said yes back then. If I knew. If we had timed things just right.” Anne moved closer to Sasha, gently laying a hand on hers.

Sasha smiled. It was nice to know that maybe in some alternate universe, her high school self would have been slow dancing with Anne. “There were a lot of times when the timing could have been right. It probably was right and I just couldn’t work up the courage to even keep in contact with you. Hell, we fought in a war, an actual war together–” and against each other, though Sasha chose to omit that bit, “–and I can’t even face this like, like how I faced those… I don’t know, what were they? Robot frogs? Mind-controlled birds?! How did we even pull that off with as tiny little kids?!”

“Okay, okay,” Anne said laughing for a second before wrapping an arm around Sasha’s shoulder. It made Sasha tense for a second, but then she relaxed into her touch, leaning into her warmth. “First of all, I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You are Sasha Waybright! You held the power of a toad army in the palm of your hand and a badass sword in the other! You are one of the most courageous people I know and you never back down from a fight.” 

Sasha appreciated hearing that even if it didn’t always feel like it was true. She wanted to speak up but Anne kept going. “And second of all, who cares if sometime in the past was the right time? If it was, then maybe we’d already be together. But we weren’t and that’s okay. Because maybe right now is the right time.” Anne put a hand on Sasha’s cheek, basically forcing Sasha to look at her beautiful face. “I like you, dude. I’ve liked you for a long time and by your logic, I would have to be considered equally as dumb and ashamed as you for not doing anything about it either before. And if something goes wrong we will figure it out together. I promise.”

“Ugh,” Sasha said, reaching in for a hug, one that Anne happily gave. Frog, she was warm, like a nice weighted blanket, never ceasing to make her feel at peace. “You’re right. Of course, you are. ”

“What can I say, I learned from the best,” Anne said, pulling back and giving Sasha a wink. “So are we okay?” 

“Yeah,” Sasha said. “We’re okay.”

Anne went in for a kiss, cupping Sasha’s face with her hands. It felt right. It felt like waiting was almost worth it and now Sasha was going to make sure they were going to make up for that lost time they weren’t in contact, for the slow dances they could’ve had in dim lights, Thai take out meals during study breaks, road trips in cars to escape the Los Angeles lights and crowds.

Anne was always right. She was Anne Boonchuy and everything that made her Anne was everything Sasha loved and liked. (Maybe more loved than liked, but she decided she would tell her that later.)

Now, today, and hopefully tomorrow and the day after and the day after would always be the right time. Sasha would do everything she could to cherish each and every second of it too.

Once they descended from the rooftop, Sasha debated whether they should sleep in their own beds, but as it turned out, Anne was thinking the same thing and asked her if she wanted to share her bed. Yes, technically all three of them shared the same suite with separate bedrooms, so they weren’t that far apart, but still.

Unlike the last time Sasha was offered to share the bed with Anne like at her old college apartment, this time she didn’t say no.

They laid facing each other, not touching. Sasha swore she could feel her heart pulse in her ears. She and Anne had shared a bed before at sleepovers, but they were so young then and so unaware of the future that was to come.

“I’m nervous,” Sasha admitted. “I don’t know why. We just talked and I feel okay about us but I feel nervous. We’ve had plenty sleepovers before.”

“Yeah. But not like this.”

“No. Not like this.”

“What if I just…” For a second it looked like Anne was going to get up and leave but was relieved to see Anne just scoot closer to her so that their faces were mere inches apart. Just like in the car. “This is kinda like how we had sleepovers as kids…right?”

Sasha nodded, noting how close Anne’s exhales were to her face. It was close. Close in a good nerve-wracking kind of way. Slowly Sasha extended a hand to push a stray curl out of Anne’s face, laying her hand in her hair. Soft, fluffy hair. Sasha let herself play with the coils of her hair and also scooted closer. She said, “Maybe it can be more like this now. If that’s okay?”

She wasn’t sure what to make of Anne’s at first. Stunned? Bewildered? But then she smiled and said, “Very okay.”

And it was like the closer they moved in towards the middle of the bed, the braver both Sasha and seemingly Anne became. Soon they were wrapped up in each other with Anne tucked into the crook of Sasha’s neck, Sasha resting her chin against Anne’s head, their arms wrapped around each other, and their legs intertwined. Sasha swore she could feel a cramp in her left foot, but she didn’t dare move. She didn’t want to ruin the perfection of this moment as if the bubble of it would burst if she moved even a muscle.

Oddly enough this did happen to be how it was when they had sleepovers when they were much much younger. Cuddled close without a care in the world, settled into a comfort that felt like one no one else could provide.

And even though they still didn’t stay like that the whole night as evidenced by what was presumably Anne’s throwing of the comforter onto the hotel carpet, Sasha didn’t care. She didn’t care if all their future sleepovers ended up in routinely making the bed after waking up because Anne was here. And Sasha was starting to believe that she could stop running when things felt unfamiliar or scary and stay. Anne would be here and so would she.

The next morning Marcy knocked on their door before coming in and this time, there was no weird tension, as Marcy had noted. She said she was going to let the two of them sleep in but the text that Teri (who Sasha hadn’t even realized she was in contact with to begin with) had ‘found something’ and that the three of them needed to meet her at her office ASAP.

It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. A hope that maybe they could redo what was once possible. The hopeful occasions were scattered throughout the years but never panned into anything serious. Deadend after deadend after deadend. But knowing the optimists that both Anne and Marcy were, they always wanted to see what was up. And while Sasha considered herself more of a realist, even she couldn't deny even the slimmest chance at the impossible. 

Long ago she once thought being with Anne, like this, was impossible but now here they were. Together. Happy. Excited. A little nervous. But excited nonetheless.

Who was to say that something couldn't come out of this? Maybe this time it would be something. (But it was probably nothing. Surely.)

Still, all Anne did was smile at Marcy and then at Sasha. That smile that Sasha loved so much. 

Frog, she loved this girl. She couldn’t wait to tell her one day. And in the coming weeks and months down the road, Sasha would surprise Anne with mastering her favorite home-cooked meal, a signed copy of her favorite biologist's newest memoir, the opportunity to visit Thailand when it seemed like Anne and her parents couldn't afford it, the best names for pet frogs and toads and newts and olms. She would treat her for all the missed time they could've had in the bedroom, the cafes they could've studied at while in college, bags of Doritos that will never run empty in the kitchen pantry, midnight dances to their favorite slow songs in refrigerator lighting. And eventually when the time was right (even though as they already established, the time would always be right), a promise encapsulated in an amazing ring that Sasha would present. Because that's what Anne was: amazing.

“You coming?” Anne said, holding out her hand.

Sasha smiled back and took her hand, one she felt that was so warm and safe that she never wanted to let go, and she said, “Always.”